The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-05-21

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A little fellow said of all the things
he saw at the circus he liked the little
condensed horses best Shetland po-
niesl
Meeker--My wife and always set
tie our differences by arbitration.
Bradiey-Who Is the arbitrator Meek
er-My wife, Of course.-Exchange.
|. Employer-You are too slow about
your work. Once Boy (cheerfullyl-
Oh. we'll, what l don't do to-day kin
do morrer.-Indianapolis Journal.
''She did not wish to be an old maid
and still she detested the society of
men," How did she manager" "She
married a clubman. Post.
AN how's yer husband the dayr'
asked Mrs. Rafferty, of Mrs Muldoon.
Sure, an he's no better" replied Mrs.
Muldoon. 1.-The doctors afraid morali
ty will set in"
Mistress-So you want me to read
this love letter to you? Maid-If you
place, mum. And I've borught We some
tONtVh WOOi yV Nuh DUH III yCl CdiS
while We read II!
Sharpe-Yes, Parker invented the
safest airship ever heard of. Wheat
ton-But 1t refused to fly. You couldn't
go up on 1t. Sharpe-That's why l
say 1t was the safest.
Here we have only been married
two days, Clarence, and you're scold-
ing me already" 81 know, my dear.
but just think how long have been
waiting for the chance"
Il see you are wearing my old en-
gagement ring" Yes; isn't 1t perfect
ly lovely to be engaged to Jack p Eyes.
indeed! He's so deliciously serious
about 1t, isn't heT--Detroit Free
Press.
lust a Hint: Mr. Sloman-It's 50
strange that we have no national flow
err. We certainly should have one.
Miss Waite (significantly)-Yes;
think the orange blossom would be
nice.-Exchange.
Does your wife do much fancy
work. Fancy work. She won't
even let porous plaster come into the
house without crocheting red border
round It and running a yellow ribbon
through the holes"
Ascum-Some people are saying
that you made most of your money In
politica Leader-But others are say.
ing made most Of my money out of
politics. So who are We going to be-
lieve ?-Philadelphi Press
do you believe she asked. that
a genius can possibly be good hus-
| band" WELL" he modestly replied.
II would prefer not to answer that
question. But my wife ought to be
able to tell you."-Exchange.
Patience-Woman Is woman's best
friend, after ALL Patrice-I guess
you're right Extraordinarily I'm
right. Even when she is getting mar
ried, doesn't a man give her away, and
her maid Of honor stand up for her?
Mr.. Dabble." said a lawyer to a
witness in the box, lat the time these
papers were executed you were specu-
lating, were you nOt?" Eyes. sir"
| you were In OIL" II was" And
| what are you in nowT Bankruptcy"
was the solemn reply.
Fall styles for school children"
read Mrs. Hooper. THAT seems like
a great extra agance. Just look at the
illustra lions" That's all right" COM
mented Mr.. Hooper: "our children have
all sorts of fall styles. and most Of
them are illustrated with bumps"
II wouldn't be surprised II this were
going to be the breaking up of China"
foreign affairs. "Oh. dear" exclaimed
his wife, who had just engaged a new
kitchen maid 81 don't care for the
china IL she'll only consent to stay"
How is It, dear Chum. are you re
lated to that celebrated Professor Kirk
In Hallew Yes. but very distantly"
How distant3" "He is my brOtherw
How can you call that distantly re-
lated?" well. you see. there are ten
brothers and sisters between him and
myself"
A Springfield school teacher received
the following note from the mother Of
one of her pupils on Monday; Dear
Miss, You writ me about whipping
Sammy. hereby give you permits
sion to beet him up eny time ii is nee
essary to learn him lesens. He is Juste
like his father-yOu have to learn him
with a club. Pound nolege into him.
/ wants him to git 1t. and don't pay no
attention to what his father says I'll
handle him."
A Baptist and a Methodist minister