The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1904-09-28
Letter to Thomas Anonymous.
Sumter. s. O.,

Dear SIR: IlOmaS, ioWe1 eoI>o
wears longer than all the other poetry
I ever read and digested. Your poetry
is bad medicine: fewer gallons but
lasts longer tha the strongest medi-
cine ever took sbefore. Can't digest
your theories as to physical pbenon-
ena: strong ph,sic; homeopathic
doses. Ether-rys too much for my
hrain. Can't pass, an electric street
LIGHT without stopping to gaze and
aaze at rays at rays that poke out all
around the electric light in perfectly
straight lines. The rays are surely
there and you don't ask people to take
your theories about ether rays & c, on
faith. Any body can see the rays who
looks at the electric lights. Now Of
course if these rays are everywhere
That an electric light happens to be
placed it is reasonable to suppose that
the rays must be everywhere IN space
for of course the earth is always NOV
ing and yet\any electric light at any
point whatever surely reveals the
ether-rays hence it is safe to assume
that these rays extend in every direc-
tion in infinitely long and slender
lines from every point in space. l
have laid awake nights trying to
figure out your theory of the universe
being one and have been seeing
ether rays in broad daylight. [ wish
4 had never seen the rays around the
electric lights because if had not
seen them would never have let
your ether-ray theory bother me.
You see I am worried to figure out
how every point in the universe can
be 8 centre for these ether. rays and
vet how so many rays can happen TO
be and yet not interfere when moving
and vibrating with other rays coming
through other ether-ray centers close
at hand or far away There must be
so many of such ray centers. | have
tried to stop thinking about the rays
but can't. I have begun to try to
grab ether-rays that | know are cut
ting through me and other people and
everything every instant but | stop
as soon as I remember that it is no
use to grab at the rays when the
atoms composing your hand pass right
through the spaces made by the mo-
tions of the ether-rays. The atoms
that people and things are made up OF
are all vibrating and are separated
from each other, so of course the5 can
90 right around the ether.rays when
people or things move. believe that
the motions of the sun and earth
shake these rays of ether that extend
through all space and that this motion
makes light and electricity but l
would rather not have known this for
am bothered to know where the ends
of the rays are fastened. You don't
saw ANYTHING about this in your
g Wooden Werks'' and SO the brains
get added in trying to get at the
solution Of the problem Of the uni
verse through the ether-ray theory.
I bought one of your wooden books.
and read it several times and when
the theories that You spring in the
book began to worry me | burnt the
wooden book and said I would forget
about it. / could not forget and so l
thought if 1 learnt the drat book by
heart I would not let ether. rays worry
me- so much, so I went to Mr..
Osseen's book store and bought anoth-
er and have almost got the theories by
heart and wish there was some way Of
getting them by the throat as they
worry me and keep me awake at
nights. If go to the asylum you
will have to pay my board there. /
am all broke up. Fewer theories; !;
wears longer. will write you let
ter every now and then to get revenge.
Devoe and myself will fill up the Item
newspaper and the Item people can
make their paper bigger to accommo-
dateMas and we will ELL up all the new
columns they can rule off for us. We
are the original letter writer's and
won't leave any room for other peo-
ple's letters. will hit the grit for
Columbia in the morning, but | will
try to retain enough sense while at
the asylum to write to you occasional
ly. I begin to see ether-rays again.
Plenty OF ether-rays Last loager than
fewer ether-rays. Goodbye,
Yours truly,
i<uropitapatkin,
Japansy, Manchuri.