Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-03-05

1t was good old-fashioned revival
service and getting warmed up to
white heat, the village butcher rose
to speak. Il have been very wicked
man." lie said, ''have given short
weights and bad meats, and when l
die I'll go to hell sure.r Just then a
grocery man. old and very deaf, start
ed up that good old hymn, If you get
there before 1 do, look out for me, I'm
coming too" Ness County News.
The true standing of an editor. says
the Cheney Sentinel. is appreciated
after death, if not before. a lawyer
recently sent the following words of
consolation to the widow of an editor
of nearby town: Dear Madam
cannot tell you how panied 1 was to
hear that your husband had gone to
heaven. We were bosom friends, but
can never meet again"
| every town. says an exchange,
''has a liar or two, several smart al
ecS. some pretty girls. more loaferS
than it needs, woman or two that
tattles, an old fogy that the town
would be better off without, men
who stand on the corner and make
remarks about women, man who
laughs every time he says anything,
scores of men with the caboose of
their trousers worn as smooth as glass
and men who tell about other peoples
business but have made Il dismal fail
! II n nyvn's-Wa-K :
exception to the rule-She has none
of the above except pretty girls.
! 1t is related of a certain young man
who called on his best girl the other
Sunday evening, that to help pass the
time away he proposed to relate a fun
ny tale he had heard the day before.
At Its conclusion the young lady by
way of giving him an ethical lesson
said he ought not use the word tale"
that the more polite and proper word
would be ''anecdote." Very naturally
he promised to observe and obey the
instructions given. Later in the eve
ming the young mans horse, tied in
the barn lot, appeared to be quite
restless and he went out to see what
was wrong. Upon his return his
sweetheart asked him what was the
matter with the horse, and he said:
'Oh, nothing much, only Que of the
calves was trying to chew his anecdote
off. "-McPherson American.
We are pleased to announce to the
teachers, pupils and citizens of our
county that the county superintend-
ent has letter from President Muir
lin. of Baker University, Baldwin,
Kansas, stating that our common
schools are placed on the accredited
list, so that our county graduates will
enter the Junior Academy year of
that institution without examination,
upon presentation of county diploma.
We are also authorized to announce
that three scholarships have been
awarded to this county, as follows:
To the one ranking first, as determin-
! ed by his daily average of recitations
through the year and the final exami-
nation grade, a scholarship for one
year, valued at $50. available in the
Academy or Normal departments:
likewise to the one ranking second IA
half years scholarships: and to the one
ranking third, a scholarship good for
one term. These scholarships may be
had upon application to the county
superintendent.
4 Miss Kitty came home from the
post office in a.high state of indigna-
tion. ''rhey have such awfully rude
and impudent people there she said.
II wanted to mail a book, and / had
it all neatly tied up and properly adj
dressed. The clerk weighed it and
then he looked at me kind of suspi-
cious and asked me if there was any
writing in it?- .'Weli you told him
no didn't you2- mo, / told him il
wasn't any of his business And then
he said he'd have to charge me letter
postage on it, That m3de me furious
and said. Il don't care what you
charge WE'LL he said. the postage
will be thirty cents L said that was
all right, and / paid him the money.
But i got ahead of the prying impH-
dent thing after ALL" ''How was
! -