The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-11-20

THE old groceryman was down on his
knees. with a wet cloth, swabbing
up something from the floor with
one hand. while he held his nose with
the other, his back toward the dSor.
when suddenly the door opened with
bang, striking the old man in the back,
knocking him over and landing him
with his head in a basket of strictly
fresh eggs. breaking at least a dozen
of them, and filing the air with an
odor that was unmistakable; and the
bay boy followed the door into the
grocery.
What's your notion Of taking a nap,
with a basket Of stale eggs for a pill
low" said the bad boy. as he took the
old man by the arm and raised him
up, and looked at him with a grin that
was tantalizing. What is il, sewer
gas. My, but the board of health
won't do a thing TO you IL the in
spectOr happens in here. Those eggs
must have been mislaid by a hen that
had a diseased mind" and the bad boy
took a bottle OF cologne out OF the
show case and began 20 sprinkle the
floor, and squirted some of it on the
OLD mans clothes.
Say. do you know I bought those
eggs of a man dressed like a farmer.
who came i'm here yesterday with his
pants in his boots, and smelling as
though he had Just come out of his
COW stable?" said the old groceryman,
as he took a piece OF a coffee sack and
wiped yellow egg off his Whiskers
And yet they are old enough to at
tend caucuses. / tell you that you have
got TO watch farmer the same as you
do a crook, or he viii get the best of
you. And to think I sold four dozen
Of those eggs to a church sOciable COM
mittee that is going TO make ice
cream for a celebration tonight But
what in thunder do you come in here
for, like a toboggan. and knock me all
over the floor, into eggs. when you
could come in gently and save a fell
lows life; and me a sick man, too.
Ever since that explosion, when we
tried 10 see how they blow up battle,
ships have had nervous prostration,
and / am just about sick OF this con-
demned fOOlishnesS. / like to keen
posted on current events. and want
10 learn how things are going on out
side in the world and 1 realize that
for an old man to associate with
bright boy Ike you keeps him young.
but. by ginger, when 1 think how you
have done me up several times. I some
times think I better pick out a boy
that is not SO strenuous, so you can
tell your pa 1 had rather he wouldn't
trade here any more, and for him to
keep you away from here. 1t is hard
or me, ] know, but life is dear 20 all
of us, and the life Insurance company
that l am contributing TO has notified
me that il l don't quit having YOU
around they win cancel my policy.
Now. YOU may say farewell and get
out Of here forever. and I viii try and
pull along with the cat and such boys
as come in here to be sOciable Go on
now" and the old gTOceryman threw
the eggs out in the alley and washed
his Whiskers at the sink.
"Oh, / guess not" said the boy. as
he sat down on 4 tin cracker box and
began to eat figs out OF a box. S'I know
something about the law myself, and
II You drive me away, you could be arr
rested for breach Of promise. and ar
son, and you would go 10 the peniten-
tiary- IL was all / could do to make
the police believe you didn't set this
old shebang afire To get the insurance,
and my being here has drawn more
custom 90 your store than the quality
of your goods would warrant. No, sir.
I stay right here, and advise with you.
and keep you out of trouble. If I went
home and told dad what you said he
would fall in fit and would sue you