The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-05-14

Dyer-Mlss Ferris is 30 years old.
Would you think itf Duell-Not out
loud.
she-Would you be willing to die
Tor me-" He-Why, I'm dying for
you noW?-Town and Country.
Bank Examiner-Where is the cash.
Ter? Gone to take a rest? President |
NO, he's gone to avoid arrest.-Bos-
ten Globe. '.--
h1tty-Constance has been painted |
by MIR. Gamborge. She is delighted
with. it. Maude-I see; it is a picture
rather than a DECENTRALIZATION Tran
script.
MISS summit-How that young Mon
roe girl has improved! Miss Palisade
Hasn't she? Why, can remember
when she was such a modest little
tLing.-Ex
The Slayer: isn't it hard to lose
your daughter" "No, not this one; I
could have married her off a year ago.
1t Is her older sister that's hard to
lose."-Houston Post.
observation-disclosures, who was it
that prompted you then? heard some
one whisper that date to you. Johnnie
Please, ma'am, expect 1t was his.
tory repeatin' itself again.
Thinne-Oh, wish had your voice!
Thickke-No doubt you would enjoy
using 1t. Thinne-No, faint that; but
was thinking if it were mine could
stop it when liked.-Tit Bits.
Undisputed: "Have taxpayers no
r1ghts?" demanded the impassioned or
ator Certainly" replied a man in
the back row; "they have the right to
pay axes."-Detroit Free Press.
Molly-When you spoke to papa did
you tell him you'd got fifty pounds in
the bank? George-Yes, darling.
Molly-And what did he say? George
He borrowed it!-Boston Globe.
"Do you think, then, that men de-
scended from chimpanzeesT asked
Willie Washington. "Some did" an.
' swered Miss Cayenne, land some mere,
I " remained stationary. "-Washington
I Star.
: Hannigan-Sure, these scales is nc
good at all fur me. They only weigh
g up to two hundred pounds, an DIN
' near to two hundred and fifty. Elan
y n1gan--Well, man alive, can't ye gi
on thin twice?
}, A Soft Heart: Freddy-Boo-hoo
& Sissy's gone and killed that little fly
q on the window" Mother-I'm glad t.
see my little Freddy is so tender-heart
% ed. Freddy-It isn't that l w-wantet
n to k-kill it myself.-Pick-Me-Up.
"And what did you say" asked tn
caller, "when he told you that you
pie wasn't like the pie his mother uset
to make?" "Well," replied the hostess
. with toss Of her head, II made fey
= remarks like my mother used t
make. "-Syracuse Herald.
= Huh" grumbled Mr.. Skinnay, VIII
= was being intentionally crowded b
the jolly looking fat man i'll the trolle
= car, these cars should charge b
weight" Think so7" replied the ia
- man; "then they wouldn't think
Is delphta Public Ledger.
y A countryman and his son put up
e at a city hotel. Son out seeing til
y town. Old gent comes down from h
.e room at midnight and says to the nigl
clerk: HAS my son come in yet
% Night Clerk-Guess not. Haven't see
him. Old Gent-Well, you needn't 81
80 up for him any longer.
1T The woman was doing her shippin
40 40 The counter jumper handed her pacl
# age, and she slowly turned away. "L
be- 1 need anything else? she absen
ID mindedly asked. "You have ju
ct bought some lawn" ventured Il
IT, It. clerk; don't you think you will net
er some eY-Princeton Tiger.
az Every doctor knows the man al
az woman who try to extract free me
in Ical advice. One such inquirer gret
ed an eminent physician with til
remark: 81 hear fish is an excelle
brain food. Do you think soY "E
ne cellent," was the reply, "but in 20
n case it seems a pity to waste t
i'd fish,
al Strong on Etiquette: Bill-Oh, ye
De he's great on etiquette. Jill-Is tn
ut right2 Bill-Sure! Why, he was tie
n. ing me only yesterday that If a mi
\ is smoking while walking down t
40 street with lady, the cigar should
~ ways be in the side of the mouth fl
No thest removed from the lady!-Bost
W. Transcript.
y" An Accommodating Cook: Mrs. A
SA the 'phone)-Wait a minute till / a
10 Bridget. If she has no objections
- be delighted to lunch with you tom
. row. CA moment later: oh, hello! NJ
B., yes, 1 can. Bridget says I CT
Isn't it lovely? Thanks, ever so nut
Good by. Mrs. B. (soliIoquizing en-
ously)-What wouldn't l give for
cook like that!-Detroit Free Press
"Never heard what broke up tn