The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1904-08-24
JUST FOR FUN

'1s jerks one OF the carly settlers?|
mo. He has owed mo $40 for as many
years. Detroit Free Press.
Fuddy--I hear somebody has discoy-
cred the microbe Of senllity. Duddy-
IL must be n mean old thing.
What was It Franklin said7 II
you'd have thing well done
Tell your cook you like 1t rare" in
terruptod subbubs. 49, Philadelphia
Press
Kuropatlin--J wait the japanese
advance with confidence" The Car
But why waltz" Kuropatkin-"How
otherwise can show my confidence"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Editor-We will pay you either at
the rate of one dollar per word or five
thousand dollars per idea. rs you elect.
Distinguished Author-The former is
cr---the better way. ! think.-Puck.
Grimes A womGn'8 wearing of an
engagement ring Is queer custom,
when you come TO think about IT,.
Grant--lt Is lofthGnded way of tell
ing the world sne IS going to be mar.
ried.
Mrs. Gcttum is going TO give a
stocking shower for her daughter.
That's practical, isn't it, NO" why
not?' Because after a shower there is
no use for the hose. Cleveland PLATA
Dealer.
Shinestand Customer-Why do you
charge only nickel for a shine. my
lad? ShInestand Kid-So that Tn guy
wild only dime e spend win have a
nickel left fer a tip-see ?-Baltimore
American.
Lawyer-Theh. too, there will be
the court-crier's fee. Fair Litigant
(breach OF promise) On, | ehall do
my own crying. should never think
OF trusting anybody else to do that.
Goodness, no!-Puck.
Father" said the small boy, what
is an investigation" "An inyestiga-
ton, my son. is usually an effort TO 10
cate the responsibilities for a disaster
after it's too late to make any differ.
ence. Washington Star.
Mrs McCall-Is Mrs. Gassaway at
home? The Servant--Faith, she is not,
ma'am, be great good luck; but yed
best lave yer card an skcdaddle away
fur she's like to he in amy minyute
Philadelphia Press.
Long-Tailed Dog-Don't you get tir-
ed of everlastingly wagging that little
stump Of yours? Stump-Tailed Dog
No; It feels just as If the tail was all
there, and get just as much fun out
Of the exercise as you do, with a good
deal less work.-Chicago Tribune.
Did you encourage your daughters
literary ambition" Decidedly" an
swered the matter-of-fact woman. 1T
she has the go8siping instinct it Is
bound TO come out, and she'd better be
making up stories about imaginary
people han aboat the reighbors."- -
Washington Star.
Bessie--Harry Is dear boy, and
have made up my mind to marry him.
Kitty-You'ye changed your mind all
Of sudden. Bessie--Yes; last night
NOih ihio NuSf pipbfibly
the poorest cook that ever lived. After
that, you know, couldn't help feeling
drawn toward him. I'm sure We shall
live very happily together"
Badger-Should think you'd be
afraid somebody would shoot you
when YOU asked rs yolr life insured?"
A man might mistake your meaning,
you know, and think you had dropped
in to murder him. Browser-I never
had anybody offer to shoot me; but on
several occasions | have only escaped
being kicked out by presence of mind
and nimble heels.
Dear mel" exclaimed Myrtilla. as
she returned from the book shops,
summer fiction is so very expensive"
81 get all the summer fiction | can
read" replied the wise young man,
"and it costs me only a quarter" "Gra.
cious How is it possibleY "Oh, |
write twenty-five postal cards TO the
same number of beach and mountain
resorts, requesting them to send me
their descriptive booklets. Chicago