Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-06-13
UNCLE SAM CIGARS.
Plight of n Man Who Tried to Get the
Best of the Customs.

IIknt OF wan w no urea 10 Gct the
Best of the Customs.
Among the men. cigars and cigar
cites cause much trouble. The regu-
lations permit Il person to bring in
for his own consumption fifty cigars
Or three hundred cigarettes, the ruling
Iof the department peing that for Gus
toms purposes fifty cigars equal that
many cigarettes. Travellers are al
ways arriving who do not know the
regulations or who try to cvade them.
Nine times ont of ten the Traveller at
once wants To make ii II personal mat
ter with the Inspector. and acts as if
he thought lhrashng the official would
get his cigars in free. Then he co0ls
down Il little and offers To pay the
duty on all over fifty and take them
all. There he strikes Il new cause of
rage The smallest number of cigars
that can be imported is tnree thousand
All under that and over fifty are SeiZ-
ed. The inspector endcavorS to eX-
plain that he did not make the law
and is responsible only for its rxecu-
ton as he finds it; but that seldom
works, and the traveller goes away
breathing fire, and mad with desire
for vengeance.
\ man came In from Havana re-
Gently with Il box of cigars ont of
which he had smoked fifteen. There
were eighty-iive left. The Inspector
who examined his baggage told him
he could have only fifty. The man tie
cared that it was an outrage. and in
timatcd that he believed ii to he per-
petrated for the inspectors personal
amusement.
who gets the rest he demanded
They are seized for the govern
ment." was the reply.
Thereupon it was evident to the
man that the outrage was for the ben
eft as we'll as the amusement of the
inspector.
Il don't suppose YOU smoke" he
sneered.
Not on duty" suavely replied the
inspector.
We'll, you won't smoke these of
duty" cried the man. and began 10
break them up.
Hold on" said the Inspector you
mustn't do that"
"Why not" demanded the man.
They are my cigars"
NO. they are not" replied the in
spector; they belong to the govern
ment"
No words would fit that situation,
and the man went away. A little later
he charged into the office Of the law
division, prepared to tear down the
Custom House. He wanted to know,
aud he wanted his information quickly.
Not my cigars. hch: We'll, they
hadn't been brought in yet
oh. yes. they had. They were con-
siderably inside the three-mile limit
when yom had them on the pier"
A little argument cooled him OF,
and he finally said:
We'll. I'll take my fifty, and you
can have the rest"
You haven't got fifty now" said
the official.
"EIavcn't got fiftyT he screamed.
I'D like to know why | haven't. You
have said all along | could have fifty"
Yes. but you broke them up"
II didn't do any such thing. |
broke up the extra thrty-tive"
"Oh. no: those are Uncle Sans. You
were breaking up your OWL But |
don't think you destroyed them all.
There are about fifteen still left for
YOU"
And he had to do the best he could
to seem content with fifteen. All of
which shows again how foolish it is to
kick against the pricks. Most men do
it. however. and sometimes they beat
Uncle Sam out of his cigars There
have been instances where men so
situated pitched the whole supply over
board in their rage.-Century.