The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-01-23
THE NoHPAREJL MAN

The Detroit, Mimi, Standard Brings to
View Warm Bunch of Eiiglbles for
Leap Year consumption-Now is the
Time for Girls In the Vicinity to Get
Something Fine, Natty and Up to
Date In the Line of Life Partner.
The Detroit, Mimi, Standard, following
custom that is quite common in the state
this year, prints a glowing list of eligible
bachelors, that would make your mouth
water, many Of them anxious to leap into
the matrimonial arena but most of them
afflicted with the cold foot disease Of bash
fitness. 'They have longed for leap year."
says the Standard, "as the mariner on the
painless ocean longs for the beacon lights
on the shore; as the watcher in the night
longs for the dawn Of day
The Standard then goes thru the list.
There is William Boyd a prosperous, in
dustrious and progressive child who al
ways votes the republican ticket.
Then there are cunning curly Charley
Hamilton and the stern, yet tender Pro-
lessor Uhl, superintendent of the Detroit
schools. The latter is said to be under
contract. OF John Carman the Standard
says:
John Carman is breezy, rollicksome young
man who will make some girl happy. He is
halter-broke already, and would not be hard to
manage after you once secured possession
Then there is zone of our handsome
and successful politicians'';-L. c. McKin-
stry-;well matured but very much scared
of Cupid's bow. s'We are Informed that
at one time he has been known to run
away from a shirt waist hanging on the
line. A good lady cook and housekeeper
of good taste, might possibly stand some
show of convincing him of the blessedness
Of the matrimonial state"
The Standard does not forget Carlos
Bllllngs-"The sweetest boy Of the lot"
He is Of splendid physique. pretty, and
gentle as lamb. He is awful bashful
and when the girls hold his hand it is
necessary to get into the shadow. Wise,
as we'll as handsome, Carlos!
If the girls cannot do business with this
bunch Of fragile flowers they are hard to
suit.
There are some disadvantages in being
a Norman elder during leap year. For
example, suppose bunch of eight beauti-
full maidens should hand in a round robin
proposal and all smile at once. How long
would he last?. Not three quarter-sec-
onds.
The wheat market took sick yesterday
and all the I-told-you-so bulls showed up
and said that immortal phrase right out
loud. incidentally the Journal Market
Page doctor looked at the markets tongue
the day before and remarked that it was
badly coated.
A glorious asphalt deposit has been
struck in Indian Territory rich enough to
pave the pocket of every alderman in
Texas. ..--
The health commissioner of st. Louis
announces that he is going to suppress
the Christian Scientists. He has not be-
gun moment too soon, for they are al
ready putting up $250,000 church in
that city which will make the task of
suppression all the more arduous.
The death of George Francis Train re-
calls to southern newspaper men the de-
scrlptIon of Train once given by George
u. Prentice in the Louisville journal: : 3
George Francis Train-a locomotive off the
track, turned upside down, with the COW catcher
nurfed IN a stump and the wheels making a
tnousand revolutions minute. A ship without
rudder, a clock without hands, an arrow shot
into the air, a sermon that is all text panto-
mime Of words, the apotheosis of talk, the in
carnatlon of CAB, kite In the air that has
lost It's TAIL human novel without hero a
man who climbs tree for birds nest out on
| limb. and In order to get it saws the limb
on between himself and the tree. A MONDAY
hunting for figure in order to pass for some
thing-with the brains OF twenty men in his
head all pulling in different directions. -
Mr.. Train doubtless possessed bugs OF
some kinds under his hat, but instead
of putting insect powder around he Gull
tivated the colony and it worked for him.
A frank old maid who calls herself
Susan Smith Ut ought to be Susan
Smoothly wrote plant to a Detroit paper
the other day and stirred UP quite
controversy over the unmarried LADY,
question. In the midst of this verbal and
inky warfare IAN Interested Reader sent
in poem called 1.-THE Old Maids Dream"
It ran as follows:
An angel came to where I slep
An angel form Of matchless grace,
And up upon my bed it crep'
And peered into my anxious face.
1t noted in my maiden eyes
The fading spark of hope deferred,
It heard my disappointed signs.
The plant Of minated bird.
And whispered to me: "Hold your grit.
You'll git him yit! You'll git him yit.''
And then I asked my angel guest: ..
WHO are the him, and where's he at:
VIII he soon hear in his fond. quest
The purring of his pussy cat?"
] The angel smiled and soft replied:
possess thy soul in patience, dear;
He foateth on the coming tide:
Whose wavelets soon will roll him near.
Don't fret myself into fit, "
You'll git him yit! You'll git him yit.'' g
Then, vanishing, the angel went.
The which know not where nor whence,
But o! the world of sweet content
And hopeful calm it brought me hence.
|. I turned the other side
And dreamed vision of the day.
When I at last would be bride
With happiness to throw away.
I. And thru said dream these words did fit:
! you'll git him yit! You'll git him yit.
Now hopefully my gances run
Along loves bright horizon rim -..af
To note the rising of the
OF man who is to be that him. =.
And when the darksome clouds OF doubt
Do gather in my childish heart
With broom Of hope sweep them out
And bid them yonderwards depart,