The Savannah morning news., 1904-02-24
Tales Told An wa.binrton.

Col. Cody-'Buffalo BilP'-is here,
says the Washington correspondent OF
the New York World. He told the
President this story:
"A new railroad was built through
my section of the country and young
cow-puncher saw a train for the first
time in his life. When the locomotive
whistle was blown the cow-puncher
was evidently distressed, but he did
not want to show the white feather.
He rose in his stirrups almost scared
90 deatn when the train went by COW
ering him with dust. The engineer
leaned far out of his cab and shouted
at the cowboy:
Git out of the way you blankety-
blank, low-browed, long-haired orn-
cry cow-puncher. I'm going to turn
round
THE cow-puncher struck spurs to
his pony and in an instant disappeared
over hill"
The day following the last of the re-
ceptions at the White House which was
given in honor of the Senate and
House of Representatives, a new MEM
Der from one of the Western states,
whose wife was unable to accompany
him to the reception and who had &C.
casion to visit the President in his Of
flee, felt that he was obliged to ex-
plain the reason for the absence of his
wife.
''Mr. President" said the new men,
Der, Il regret that Mrs. Blank was
unable to be present with me last night
at the reception on account of illness"
Delighted said the President, fall
ing into his now familiar formula. II
hope you enjoyed yourself"
Martin ]. Wade is the only Demo-
crat in the House from Iowa. In ex-
PLANTATION of the attitude of many Re-
publicans of Iowa toward Gov. Cum
Minis views on the necessity of adj
justing the tariff rates to meet changed
conditions, Mr.. Wade said the people
of his state were like the fellow who
sat on the doorstep of his home one
winter morning about 2 o'clock when a
policeman came along. j
What are you doing here?" inquired
the guardian of the peace.
The man replied: II am just think
ing"
WELL" said the policeman, "get in
or you will freeze to death. What are
you thinking about?"
Il was just thinking" replied the
man, whether l would go in and get
killed, or whether / would stay out
here and freeze to DEATH"
According to Mr.. Wade, the people
of Iowa are not only thinking like the
man alluded to, but they are realizing
a great truth expressed in a case where
a man was taken to an insane asylum
in that state. In reply to the inquiry
why he was sent there, the man said:
They sent me here because I'm a
tariff reformer and voted the Republic
can ticket
"Oh, that's a shame" remarked the
questioner. You should not have been
sent here. This is a place for the in
sane. You are nothing but fool"
Representative Wade of Iowa, in
making a speech about tariff the other
day applied an anecdote of an Irish
man at Niagara Falls.
THE gentleman from Illinois, Mr.
Boutell,' said Mr.. Wade, insists that
the country is prosperous, and he read
lot of newspaper articles to prove it,
Others insist on the same state of af-
fairs. But whenever l hear one of
these members talking 1 am reminded
of the gentleman from Ireland who
went to see Niagara Falls.
He hired a guide to tai e him all
around. The guide showed the gen.
tleman from Ireland everything. and
when the guide got through the Irish
man inquired: is that allg
" Yes, replied the guide, I have
shown you all the points of interest.
az don't see why. people should
come from all over the world to see
this the gentleman from Ireland in
sisted.
We'll, don't you see that magnifi-
cent cataract of water rushing over
the precipice?'
Sure said the tourist but why
shouldn't it; what is there to hold it
back?"
When Senator Joe" Blackburn went
into the Office of a celebrated lawyer
of Kentucky to study law he was sur
prised by the absence of library.
Where's the library?" he asked.
Now, Joe, if you want to study law
don't begin by asking questions" the
old lawyer told him. There is not any
library. You see that book. That's the
statues of Kentucky, and it's all the
library any lawyer needs. Don't get a
library If you want to become a law
yer; it will only worry YOU"
i've found that advice was the best
1 ever received, too" the Senator add
ed.
"a friend of mine down South" said
Congressman John Sharp Williams,
INDUCED in the luxury of negro
valet or body servant, as we call
them. This friend in riot of extrava-
gance one day bought a pair of loud
checked trousers. His valet envied
them and wanted them. They did not
seem to be coming his way fast enough
n I,a Inr
" Charley said my friend, take
these trousers and clean them. There's
a grease spot on Them
Charley took the trousers, didn't do
a thing to them and brought them
back in half a day. Deed, boss he
said, I can't get that grease out
Did you scrub them well?"
" Yes, sab.
Ibid you try hot iron and a
piece of brown paper?'
Eyes, sah.'
Ibid you try ammonia?
" No, sab l amt done tried 'em on
me yet, but I knows they'll fit me-"
Senator Fostor of Tacoma walked
into the Capitol the other day with
look of annoyance on his face.
What is the matter, Senator? You
appear disgruntled," someone said.
II am disgruntled." Senator Foster
returned. "I'll never give money to
a street beggar again as long as live.
There was very pitiful-looking beg
gar on the avenue a few minutes ago.
and my heart going out to him, 1
stopped to hand him few small coins.
1 had some difficulty, I admit, in find
ing my change, but was that any rea-
son for the beggar to frown at me and
say impatiently
"'HurrY np. sir. I've lost several