Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-01-09
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RuuNthal 10 you ever tulDk OF the
good old saying that it's more blessed
to give than to receive? Pugsley--
Yes, when I've got the boxing gloves
on do.-Nogue
Coming around; Mrs. Canrey-
And how is that pretty young widow?
Is she reconeiled to- her loss yet? Mrs.
Malaprop she amt exactly rec
onciled yet, but they do say she's get
the man picked Outfit Bits.
An alternative: Mahoole-Nixt
toine Oi pass wild loidy, Nungan.
we've got TO remove your hat! Null
llgan-And suppose OF refuse? Ma
hoolc-r Then, bedad. we've got To rc-
move your coat Chicago News
Juvenile reasoning. sammy Going
to move soon, Tommy? Tommy Yes.
sammy How do you know? Tom
my-Ah How DO / know! Didn't
me mother lemme break a Windei
tother day and didn't say nothm'?~-
Tit Bits.
Kitty ito Rertha IN her new froek
Why, darling, how becoming your
gown is. Absolutely any one would
think it quite new! Bertha-So Kind
of you to say So And yours, dear
looks every bit as we'll as it did years
ago.-Boston Transcript.
The doctors orders: Dedella -Phat
are yez doin' takln the lock of the
cupboard mre, Pat; Are yez crazy
No. darlint; tn dochtor tould me
to-day that ! must quit boltin' me
food--and I'm gon' SO obey insthrus-
tions.-Cincinnati Times. Star.
Mother Why don't you behave bet
ter 10 your teacher? Tommy Why,
I'm as kind to her as kin be. Moth
er- You are? Tommy -Yes'm. Ev-
cry time she licks me | cry as loud aa
kin SOS To make her believe she's
hurtin' me.r Philadelphia Ledger.
Hardupp t,'ed TO sell those din.
monds bought of you. and was told
they We're not genuine Jeweler---
Did you sell them? Hardupp- Yes, for
almost nothing. Jeweler-Wel you 30
back aud try TO buy them. and YOU
will find ont that they are genuine.
Exchange
RoSaiie-Ilare you chosen any of
your bridesmaids yet? May Yes
Fanny Lyon. Resale Why,
thought YOU hated her? May M.
not exactly; but the bridesmaids are
TO wear yellow and you can imagine
how that will 30 with Fanny's com
pleXion. Bazaar
First impressions. "The first time
saw YOU thought how lucky
shoula be If could Induce that de.
lirious little angel TO be my wife.
And what did you think Z" Il thought,
oh! dear me! / wonder If / shah
ever have 10 merry such homely
looking man us thatr Puck.
lie had promlsed The fair bride
wept copiously Boo hoo she
Screame6; YOU are mean old thing;
so there! You didn't eat one OF my
biscuits" But, darling There
is no excuse, sir. Didn't you tell me
when YOU married me-boo- hoo. that
YOU would die for mef"-- Baltimore
News.
obviously: Benevolent old gentle
man-Dont you think fishing cruel
sport? Flsherman-I should inst
think It Nas. I've been sitting here
five hours and never had "A single bite,
aud I've got three wasp stlngs. an,l
been eaten mp with flies, and the suns
taken all the skin Off the back OF my
neck Pick Me-Up.
Her conclusion: DO You think
your fat'ier has any idea that ! have
serious Intentions concerning your"
Il heard him telling mother, the other
day, that lac didn't think It would cost
any more TO have you at the table
regularly than 1t does for me to feed
you from the pantry shelves every
night. - Chicago Record Herald.
Walter Scott liked to tell the story
Of HIS meeting an Irish beggar in the
street who importuned him for six
pence. Not having one, Scott gave
him shilling, adding with a laugh.
Now remember, you owe me six
pence och, sure enough" said the
beggar, and God grant you may live
TIL pay you"-Youth's companion.
Customer Walter beefsteakl
Quick! I'm I'm hurry. Waiter-We
haven't any beefsteak, sir! Customer
"A chop, then. Waiter-C Chops If OFF
Customer Well, then, an omelet.
Walter impossible, sir, we Cus-
toner What. Why, have you moth
ing al All in your restaurant? Waiter
Yes, sir, we've got baillff---.
Customer sharpening his knife ON the
edge OF the platej--Then let's have
one London Tit Bits.
4 preacher at the conclusion of one
Of his sermons said: Let all in the
house who are paying their debts
stand mp Instantly every man. wo.
man and child with one exception.
arose to their feet Tho preacher
seated them and said: Now every
man not paying his debts stand M"
The exception noted,a careworn, hun
cry looking individual. clothed In his