davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Briggs-What sort of girl is PAGER
engaged to?
Griggs-I'ye never seen her, but
know she's homely.'
Briggs-lIow?
Griggs-Because | heard she liked
to be thought of as an intelligent
woman.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

How did you come to- engage in
this businessF" asked the judge, adj
dressing the prisoner who was charged
with attempting TO wreck Il train.
II thought it d good idea to begin
at the bottom and work my way up"
explained the prisoner. Later on,
expected TO become n great financier
and wreck railroads"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Now They Don't Speal

Yes" said the girl with the new en-
gagement ring, Tom declares that he
loves me more than his life"
We'll perhaps he does" replied the
maid who was afflicted with ingrowing
envy, but as for me. haven't much
faith in men who take such pessimis-
tic views OF their existence"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

About 10000 recent immigrants
have returned to Europe this fall,
Many thousands of homeseekers have
gone from the United States to Mani
tOba and adjacent districts of British
America within the last few months.
These facts make an important offset
to some of the immense inflow of i'm
migration during the year now almost
ended,
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
His objection.

Fred-Why is it l never see you
with Miss Buddington any more?
,Joe-Recause of my dislike for her
father. He's regular. old pirate.
Fred-A pirate! Why, hows that?
Joe-Well, l know from PERSONAL ex-
perience that he's n freebooter.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Aiatrimony and ryspef sa.

I is not good for man or woman to eat ATONE
EE9H Thus medical authority has spoken for years
EE2E The solitary diner out having no company De-
kSg94 fore him. other than his food, swallows 1t I'M
EA0mSAg properly mascatcd, hurries course upon
tGWe& another before the stomach properly august
itself to the conditions that tax it, and acquires
dyspepsa that distress him severely and makes life blue
print
The increase in dyspepsia and kindred ailments so one
who has gathering information asserts is largely due
to the independence manifested by both sexes regarding
matrmony In other words, there fewer bachelors
and bachelor adens there would be less demand for ton
les to brace up an impaired digestion
in spite of the orthodox Joke about the young wife
unng her husbands digestive apparatus by her attempts
fewer cases of dyspepsia among the welded than
those who choose to remain single
Food consumption should be task of slow process.
should be free from and unnecessary
cclnent during the meal This is best established
persons dine together and enjoy such goodna
tured cha iaey interesting chat dverts them for
the moment
\ few gifted to be able TO dine alone and
dine deliberately 10y the amusement derived from their sur
roundngs but the rule is the resauantkeepers can
we'll testify that the single diner eats his meal in from
onehird oneha the time taken by those who dine in
company
The Inference Of established by this research is
that marmony is good thing for dyspepsia and possibly
this may establish line of thought in some
crsy bachelors and fussy bachelor maidens who are
unable to eat meal without topping 1t off with few
specially prepared tablets and to help out their
poor somachs.-New York Telegram.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
She Was Satisfied.

Anyway, there's no marrying In
heaven" growled the old bachelor pas
senger as he glared tiercely at the bri-
dial couple across the aisle.
"Well, don't care" retorted the
blushing bride, as she nestled her head
on the manly. bosom of her accom-
plice, there is heaven in marriage,
anyway"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

An Oregon man put chains and pad
locks on his wife's feet so that she
couldn't leave him. 1t did not pre-
vent separation, however, for an
unfeeling Judge has sent him to Jail.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

This is indeed food for thought"
remarked the chemist, as he started to
analyze forty-seven different kinds of
breakfast cereals-Columbia Jester.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

There is neither marrying nor Civ
ing in marriage in heaven probably
because no woman up there would
consider any angel good enough for
her son
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

NJ. Bertillon has added the study Of
physiognomy to his system of criminal
detection. By and by even a detective
will be able to tell criminal when he
sees him.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Lawyers Wife-Did you get that
poor man free who was charged with
stealing turkey?
Lawyer-Yes.
Lawyers Wife-And did he have
any money 10 pay you?
Lawyer-No, l had 10 take the tur-
key.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Cholly-Miss Cutting is-aw-beast.
ly how'd, doncher know.
Percy-Is she, WEAKLY?
Cholly-Yaws. She said lawst night
that I--aw-pwobably would be a
veal nice fellah If I--aw-evah grew
up to be man.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Some paper says Dowie's favorite
song Is Rock of Ages" Another one
says it was under the impression it
was "Ef Yo' Got No Money 70
Needn't Come Round"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

number of people engaged in it.
We. have been boasting Of the rapidity with which
exports of manufactured goods have increased OF
"conquess the of the world" but Secretary
Wilson shows that the balance trade in all products
cept those OF agriculture against $3.50 100000
ing the last fourteen years The balance of trade in agr
cultural products 81 S060 in favor however
that the total balance in favor thanks the
er. was S3,940O000o0. While have not been able to
turn out at least have not turned ouenough
commodities to supply wants. have raised enough
farm produce not only to meet demands ,5ut
feed large part of the of the world and the agr
cultural lands of the country still possess large resources
that have been exploited In the time the
countrys industrial population doubt will become SO
great to all the food that forced
to produce-Kalsas City Journal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Ethel--What did you open that
door for? Don't you know that'll spoil
the cake mammals baking?
Willle-Sure. and II it's spoiled
she'll let us eat all we want of it,
Philadelphia Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Not So Pad,

The idea of your marrying vaude-
vile actressw exclaimed the poor but
proud mother. ITS a disgrace to the
family name"
LOB, don't know" replied the
youthful scion Of the house. My al.
lowancs 10 only sio q week and she
draws d salary of $500"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Bridget-Oi found this letter on the
missus' desk an Oi think it's fer me-
self frem me ould father.
Sarah-An' what give We that idee?
Bridget--Sure it'd be just like i'm to
forget to address it.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Real Trouble.

Mrs. Homer-DOesn't 1t worry you
to have your husband pass so much
of his time at his club?
Mrs. Rounder-Not In the least. It's
the money he spends there that makes
me mad.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Cause for Co IN oil amt.

"Your husband seems to have IN
exalted opinion Of you," remarked the
brides aunt He says you are his
right hand" .4..-=
Yes" rejoined the young wife with
sigh long drawn out, but he's one
Of those men who never let their right
hand know what their left hand does"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
ington Post

have long careful about exposing themselves to In
lection by persons who have cold lest they catch it.
The old cold is result Of to draugt
cold air. Of getting the feet wet has been aban
doned although is true that get chill In that
way which will afford of the symptoms and sensa.
tions of the nasal caused by noxious germ 1t
safer to contact and all unnecessary contact
with person who this cold horse that has been
wnered catches cold upon being brought into
the stable in the spring. Experiments with dsinfectants
have that the warmth Of the stable that
the cold Arctic voyagers commonly free of
colds until their return to community where they pre-
vail In the small rocky island of St. Klda, of the
Western Hebrides Scotland, colds unknown except
1t is visited by vessel and 1t is said that the
inhabitants distinguish between the different kinds
of colds brought by different ships There is much similar
evidence relating the subject and the Hospital declares
that of infection must be present before it
possible TO catch cod What appears to be needed is
specific germicide which may be used either for pre-
venton cure.-BostOn Herald. -.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

French that French has become recognized the dpo.
matte tongue the language to be observed in Internal
courts and in the interchange of communications between
nations The first radical departure from this rule was in
1880 when English used in the international para-
ment that settled the Samoan dispute between England
Germany. and the United States
The growth of the United States world power has
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Mrs. Brown-You used to rave about
my beauty.
Mr. Brown-Well?
Mrs. Brown-Now you rave about
my pumpkin pies.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

No man is free thinker until he is
free to think up as well as down.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.


Odd, curlous and LRughabie Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por.
trayed by Eminent Word Artists of
Our own Dny-A Budget of Fun.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

An apparatus has now been per-
fected to photograph your internal or
gans. Next thing will be a negative
Of your soul.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Matter of Ora M m ar,

why do you persist in saying wild
ow woman all the timer? asked the
ex-pedagogue. ''Why not widow
alone"
That's all right, If she happens to
be plain widow" explained the party
Of the other part, 'but If she's young.
handsome and wealthy you'll seldom
find her alone" ~
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Clara suppose ought to stop and
think before | accept him.
Maud-Oh, no. You'll have plenty
of time to do that afterward.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Why He Called Her Peeey.

Il thought your wife's name was
Elizabeth"
$50 it Is
Then why do you call her Peggy"
"Short for Pegasa."
why, Pegasa 10 feminine for Pc
gasus."
"Welly'
well, Pegasus IL an immortal
steed.''
What Of that?"
Ssh! Not 80 loud. She's in the next
room. You see, an immortal steed 10
an everlasting nag. and there you are"
1t takes lot Of cold cash to melt
n marhlA hart
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Sir Thomas Upton is to build an
other challenger. He is still convinced
that it pays to advertise
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
English as the Worlds LANGUAGE,

HERE is a significance more important and
far-reaclling than appears on the surface in the
announcement that the English language is to
be the medium employed in the arbitration of
the Venezuelan dispute at The Hague court 1t
has SO long been the custom, still very generally
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Few golf players felt the need of
exercise enough to get out and clean
the snow from their sidewalks.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

"What do you get in return for your
yersesg
'.Reyerses.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
How He Advertised.

Smith, found piece Of valuabl,
lace on the street yesterday.
Jones-And did you advertise it?
Smith--Sure; told my wife.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

"Women," remarked the after dinner
philosopher, ARE all alike in one re-
spect"
I'm what respect" asked the infor.
nation seeker
I'm being different from each other"
replied the philosophical observer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

series of experiments has lately been conducted
under the auspices Of the Massachusetts, Insti-
tute of Technology, into the fuel value of
marsh mud Now the announcement is made
that this material contains the elements of coal
to an equal IL not greater amount than peat
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
TIL. woman's Way.

Jack-Would you coast with me for
ever down the hill Of time. dear?
Jill-Why, yes, if you'll let me steer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Mr.. Outlate--It was business that
detained me last night
Mrs. Outlate-Yes? -
Mr. Outlate-Yes; you know
wouldn't deceive you.
Mrs. 0utlate--No, John, you
wouldn't deceive me, no matter what
you aid.-Philadelphia Press. .r
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

A female optimist is a woman who
smiles when she meets masculine
bore.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
farming a Great Industry.

HE annual report of the Secretary of Agrlcul-
ture shows that farming is still the chief bust
ness of the people of the United States. Fast
rs our other industries have grown, especially
within recent years, agriculture still far sur
passes any of them In the amount of its cap
ital. in the value of its products and in the
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Too Inquisitive.

Samsmitl-Piker lost out in his at
tempt to win that rich widow
Jimjones-How did it happen?
Samsmith-Shes been married three
times, you know, and he asked her IL
he was the first man she had eyer
loved.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
How We Catch Colds.

HE London Hospital, a medical magazine.
maintains that colds are caught, the colds that
have nasal catarrh for their chief symptom,
in the same way that other infectious diseases
are caught by the lodgment Of germ. The
character of the germ is not specified. This ID
M now diccovery mr. theory knowing DefsOns
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Laziness is a disease that is respon
aibls for q lot Of chronic invalids.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

q Tom--So young DeSmythe ran away
with his rich uncle's stenographer and
married her, eh?
Jack-That's what.
Tom-And what did his, uncle do
about it?
Jack-Ob. he let them walk back.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

eyes, the ;old man rendered me a
turkey g.,. ~
''Thcn it was q tender turkeyf
mo, 1t wasn't. 1t was tough"
Then why don't you say he tough.
ened you a turkey |"---Washington
Star. ~
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Envy forsakes Its own freside to
freeze on anothers doorstep.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

"There's no two-faced business
about me-" remarked the spoken
man. I'm not afraid to say what
think"
You may not be afraid rejolned
the abrupt individual, but You ought
TO be ashamed. just the same"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
Matter of Doubt.

Wedderly-To-da day Is the tenth ami
versary Of my marriage.
Singleton--Well, which do you ex-
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
II Would Seam 10,

Maude--I'm told that Miss Olduh
actually looks under the bed for the
proverbial man every night before she
retireS
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03
The Secret Out,

81 Think said the .kittehish maid Of
some thirtx-odd. summers, I'll go In
for portrait painting sit difficult to
learn" -.
mo, IT'S Comparatively easy" re-
piled the great artist. "Ail one has to
do is to select the right colors and put
them OH in the,right place" g4
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Wheat that will not be bruised can
not he. used.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Clara-Well, l don't doubt it. Hope,
you know. springs eternal in the hui
man breast.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

1t takes lot Of cold cash to melt
q marble heart.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-03-03

Wedderly-Which do expect?
Singleton-Yes; congratulations OF
sympathy?
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1904-08-10
MEAD'S FIGHT is HOPELESS.

The Seattle Post-lntelligencer still
persists in saying that the republican
revolt against railway domination of
the party does not amount to anything
and that it is confined to a few sore
heads in Whitman, Lincoln and Adams
countries. The P.-I. is either densely ig
norant of the true situation or else it
is endeavoring to conceal the facts
from it's readers on the west side for
fear that the revolt will become as
alarming there as on this side of the
Cascades. Anybody who pays any at
tention to political conditions knows
that fully half of the republican voters
in eastern Washington are opposed to
the Farrell state ticket and will do
their best to defeat i. In Walla Walla
county the disaffection is not so pro-
nounced as in Whitman and Lincoln
counties, but it is safe to predict that
fully seven hundred republicans will
vote for George Turner for governor
and that as a result Mead will lose this
county by five hundred majority. In
Lincoln county nine republican news
papers have repudiated the railroad
state ticket and the vote for Turner
and the rest of the democratic state
ticket will be we'll nigh unanimous. In
Garfield county the only republican pa
per will not support the Farrell ticket,
and fully two thirds Of the voters in
the county will vote against Mead
In Whitman county the republican re-
volt is quite as bad as in Lincoln coun-
ty, and in Spokane county it is little
better. 1t would be difficult to find a
county in eastern Washington in which
Turner will not receive two thirds of
the total vote. 1t is safe to say that
Turner's majority east of the Cascades
will be not less than 10000, and it is
hardly likely that the Farrell ticket
can get ii H1dJOIllS OIl tIlc west SIuc
that will place Mead in the lead on the
total vote.
The truth seems to be that repub-
leans in the western counties are no
better pleased with the railroad ticket
than their brethren in the wheat belt.
Thousands of republicans in Pierce
and King will vote for Turner and he
will hold Mead level in other western
counties. Mead will be beaten a great
deal worse than J. Nj. Frink, of whose
election the POst-Intelligencer was
cOckSure in 1900.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1904-08-10
JUDGE PARKER ON TRUSTS.

Judge Parker said in his speech Of
acceptance today that most of the
predatory trusts owe their existence to
excessive tariff duties and that the
most effective way of controlling them
would be to lower all tariff duties that
give shelter to monopOlies. He also
called attention to the fact that the
courts have upheld the Sherman anti
trust law and that all the fault for its
on-enforcement lies with the admin
istrative officers of the government.
Judge Parker is undoubtedly right
trusts were fostered by "a protective
tariff, which enables its beneticiaries
ers in the name of protection to labor.
In fact labor gets no share of the in
ules except what is exacted from en-
ployers through labor unions.
nored the criminal clause of the Sher-
man law and has made poor showing
in the enforcement of other provisions
of the law The decision of the Unit
ed States supreme court in the North
ern Securities case has not worried the
trusts in the slightest degree and they
are still practising extortion upon the
public with impunity. If a few of the
trust magnates were sent to prison
by the enforcement of the criminal
clause of the Sherman law, there would
follow rapid dissolution of illegal
combines that would allow the restor-
alton of free industrial competition and
relieve American consumers from the
curse of monopoly.
Judge Parker'S outSpOken hostility tC
the trusts shows that if elected ne can
be relied upon to carry out the policies
outlined in the democratic national
platform. which he fully approves.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1904-08-10
Highly Recommends "Trib" as a Cure
for Liquor and Tobacco.

We, the undersigned, residents of
Baker City, oregon, have watched the
good results obtained by the use of
"TRIB" as a cure for the liquor and
tobacco habits, and We can heartily
recommend it to anyone in need:
Signed-Capt. Samuel White, chair
man Of the democratic state central
committee, ard district attorney of the
Eighth judicial district of the state of
Oregon: L. P. Desmarais, pastor of Ro-
man Catholic church; Rev J. r. n.
Bell, the oldest living chaplain of the
grand lodge of the Masonic order of
the world, and pastor of the Presbyter-
ian church; r. D. Carter, mayor; w.
H. Kilburn, chief of police: S. L. Baer,
vice president Citizens National bank :;
w. F. Butcher, lawyer; A. WEIGH, man
ager Baker Gas and Electric company;
J. F. Ferguson, real estate, CT years. !;
Grace & Bodinson, druggists; John
O'Connor, agent Pacific Express COM
pany.
For sale by L. L. Tallman.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1904-08-10
WAllA WALLA TIN SHOP
PaIOuSe st. Near Alder
Phone Main 232 Jas. Saule
SWACKHAMMER IS HERE,
CoIored Man Who Claims to Be
Missionary.

A tall, lean. lank, cOlored man. civ.
ing his name as Rev" Swackhammer
walked into Walla Walla and called at
the newspaper offices and asked that
his arrival be announced to the public
He came from Pendleton, having walk.
ed the entire distance. The East Ore
gonian has this to say of the man:
Rev. Swackhammer, the colored in.
dividual who posed for several DAYS
here in the role of an evangelist. fail
ed to connect. so far as making any
impression in his own favor with the
members of any of the churches her,
and the conviction deepens, in spite G
his many and apparently genuine in
dorsements, that he is a CRATER. puy
and simple. He seemed much more
sOlicitOus to get hold of old clothes and
on the outside of new grub, than to
either work with his muscles or in the
spiritual field. When last heard from
ne was at Adams. but with what luck
does not Yet appear.
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1904-08-10
STILL FEARFUL FOR MEAD.

Lesl Parker of Tacoma wrote long
letter to the Oregonian protesting
against its declaration that Candidate
Mead cannot be eleced whereupon the
editor says:
This is a very earnest letter. but it
is full of special pleading, and The
oregonian is not convinced by it,
There is no doubt that Mr.. Mead. per-
sonally. is a very estimable man. So
Was Mr.. Furnish. whose nomination in
oregon WAS so disastrous in 1902 But
there is danger that Mr. Mead will be
defeated. as Mr.. Furnish was. The
railroad question is the issue. 1t is
believed that Mr. Mead's nomination
was decree of the Great Northern
Northern Pacific railroad syndicate.
The oregonian fully believes that tne
demand of the people of Washington
for a railroad commission is a mistake
l'ut the demand arises at this time in
such form that resistance to it is dang
erous 10 the party hat makes i. The