The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-04-14

Time the Old FederaIist Party Went i
out-Modern Attempts to Bring It Into
Vogue Again.
A deliver into the forgotten humor of
the past says that one Of the first at
tempts at American humor came i'm
about the time the old federalist party
went out. 1t was the Little Johnnie
poem so common to-day. The first and
original Johnnie" rhyme, it is believed,
ran as follows:
Little Johnnie drowned his sister.
She was gone before missed her.
Johnnie's always up to tricks
Ant he cute? He's only six.
This Johnnie has doubtless grown gray
by this time, but there are others always.
coming forward. The latest attempt in
the Little Johnnie line is from Kan
sas paper:
Johnnie's age
Only six, ~ Il"
But he plays such 4
Funny tricks /.
Saw two hatpins,
Picks up one.
Stuck his father
Just for fun.
Father yelled and
Swore to boot;
Don't you think
Johnnie's cute?
We have always felt a strong desire
to try a Little Johnnie poem, but have
felt little diffident. AS it is rather
difficult to turn out copy to-day, the fol-
lowing is tentatively offered to an indul-
gent public:
Little Johnnie,
Aged six, -
OF dynamite
Discovered sticks -
Picked up one
- j. :. And with clang -"
q r. Struck the schoolhouse 49, G y.
. Door. BANG!! - So
! - When they searched -
For little John, -
Coroner ..3.Hn. 81 said simply ,'..s.-
If the Russian battleship was really
blown up by Russian mine, you will
know how Russia feels when you remem
Der the time you were out splitting up
a little wood and had lifted your ak to
bang a knotty stick real hard and the
weapon hit the clothesline on its way
down. .'" .E. .
There is talk of working the vice pres
idency off on Speaker Cannon when he
isn't noticing.
The Detroit News tells how the, board
lighthouses of that gay town have learned
to put currantS in the hash and to serve
1t as mince pie. Say, do you remember
that glad, free time of youth when YOU
were accustomed to eat the mince pie Of
the clearinghouse without even a sus-
picion? = E<:::a@,-.1!
The Rev. Camden M. Cobern pastor OF
the St. James Methodist church OF Chi
cago, sent out over two thousand letters
to men in Chicago and vicinity to dis
cover what they thought of themselves
and what they would do 'if given another
chance in life.' He discovered that a
great many men were as vain as pea
cocks. He was told in more than .OOC
letters written by many men that more
than 900 Of that number were very vel
satisfied with themselves. Some were bet.
ter satisfied with themselves than with
other people. Some were cynics Some
were going to reform. Some were busy
trying to reform others. Some said the
whole world was spinning in the wrons
direction. But, most OF; the writer's said
| in effect: go . Z 3 tf&2"Sa .'A|h-'h~A ~@.-&
I'm all right and 50, is the world II
which I live" ''''@.- H@T| 3 ,:: -.
AS to what they would do ..if given an,
other chance, at life" opinions d!ffel
widely. And the joke of it is that ever,
mothers son Is given another chance a.
life every time he gets out Of bed ant
starts new day. The trouble with mos
| OF us is that we, are hypnotized by tn,
| idea that everything is fixed and stabl,
for us now and can't be changed. AL
| nonsense! Let's wake up. -,
A man watches with pleasure the mi
versal robin put her head down and ru,
on his lawn, but when the neighborins
| COW tries the same. tactics: he feel
aggrleved. Why be so particular?
I John F. McGovern of Wabasha is no
only senior editor of the Wabasha lEeralt
and an attorney at law, but he is "a ais,
mayor Of Wabasha. Anything else to-
day? C.-.aa7>. . ...,...- =. - 80,
The New Hampshire Methodist con
ference has just strained at another gna
by voting to continue the prohibition O,
all card playing. .- - .-.,
| DR. e. benjamin Andrews SAYS that tn,
presidents race suicide theory is a goot
| one but that it can be overworked. DIR
Andrews says that ten children is to,
many A few more bits of wise adyis
and the American people may yet lear,
how to regulate their family affairs
|
band as papa" it sounds as tho he is treate,
right at home.--Atchiscn Globe
Yes, all the large, red, ripe strawberrie
get into papa's dish.
| A woman who does her own si1oppiii,
for the house went into local drul
store to buy soap. 1t was SC per cake
She looked 1t over carefully and asked tn
surprised clerk:
DO you give three cakes for a quar-
ter?"
After he had recovered from his daze
he replied:
We do not as q rule, madam, but W
will let you have them for that price"
She bore them away in triumph and no
until the shouts Of joy from the rest Q
the house arose as she told of her bar
gain did the awful fact dawn upon he
consciousness. A. J. r.
j WHAT OTHER pE0pY,E THTNK