The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-09

drive him to the public pound or break
his back next time get eyes on him.
land you a church MEMBER
Church members are not asked nor
expected to stand up agin hogs. If you
wasn't a woman and wilder, I'll be
hanged if 1 wouldn't sue you for dam
agesl"
Deacon Green,' replied the widow,
as her mad began to get up, you
needn't mind about my bein' a wilder
and a woman, but jest go ahead and
sue all you want to- You talk as II l
set the hog on to root up your 'taters?'
And l almost believe you did!'
Then you are an idiotr'
The two of them had gradually ap-
preached the open kitchen door as they
talked, and as both were trying to
think of something else to say the
hog in question rounded the corner of
the house The widow had no garden
for him to root up, but he showed up
occasionally at the back door to let her
see that he was still alive and working
the racket without expense to his own
er.
Satan now shouted the deacon as he
pointed to the porker.
Yes, see him, but I'm not going to
break his neck because your old fence
fell down as he leaned against it?' re-
piled the widow.
I'm have damages.
GO ahead"
''Tn kill that hog before he is five
Don't you dare lay a hand on
him.
The deacon grabbed up a. clothes
line prap and started for the hog, and
the widow followed after to protect heF
property, and the hog made bolt for
it. He was never noted for his am
bition, but on this occasion he showed
off to wonderful advantage There were
two old hives of bees at the back end
of the yard which had yielded up a
pound of beeswax now and then, and
not caring much where he went, so that
he escaped the threatened whacks from
the deacon the porker tried to jump
between the hives and upset both.
The bees were rather slow, but they
got there after awhile, and when they
got through with the deacon and the
widow the whole town was there to
see and offer advice. Both of them had
to go to bed and call in a doctor, and
both of them laid all the blame on the
other.
A rising young lawyer gave it as
his opinion that the widow had been as
saulted and battered and could collect
heavy damages, and an old lawyer, who
had got done rising about twenty years
jury in the land would pity him and
return a verdict in his favor.
The result was what might have
been expected. The deacon sued the
widow and the widow sued the deacon,
and in some way or another nearly
called to the witness stand.
The trial lasted three whole days
and n part of one night, and while it
was in progress the deacon had two
attacks of vertigo and the widow went
into fits. This was said to be by adj
vice of their lawyers, TO prejudice the
jury in their favor. The hog was cap
tured and brought into court, and a
section of the deacon's fence was also
before the jury.
In summing up the judge said:
From the evidence adduced it ap-
pears that Deacon Green knew that his
fence was old and poor, while at the
same time the defendant had no
knowledge that her hog was about to
commit malicious trespass. On the
other hand, the widow should and did
offer to pay for the potatoes eaten.
AS to the language used at the house,
the deacon was vigorous, but got as
good as he sent, and that's a stand-off
in law. As to the hog running against
the bee hives, he is not on trial. AS
to the bees which, woke up. they only
did what might have been expected of
them, and like the hog they are out of
my jurisdiction. I do not find that
either party has assaulted and battered
the other, nor that either has a case
in law, and the verdict will be no
cause of action and a hope that they
will get married within a year"
It was a little longer than that. It
took the deacon a full two years to
get over his mad and ask the widow
to marry him. and he was careful not
to do it until the hog had been run
over by peddler'S wagon and NOR