The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-01-31

gouge and twist, little pause, a twist and a yank and another little pause, slow, steady pull and a pause, twist, and another gouge. then a sideways jerk and the doctor had a chance to howl. He howled like old Rain-in-the-faee with stomach full of fire water while four gin fizzes and pair of hill balls triekled from his clammy brow. He had just opened up for another good yell, one that would really do credit to his lungs, when a soothing voice said:
 Now hold still. This won't hurt very much"
 Then the forceps slid in and he lost an- other tooth How he did squirml If he could only have seen himself wriggle he would have been delighted, but it was al- most pitch dark in there and he was de- nied that pleasure. To make up for it he howled some more and tried to squirm loose from the chair. It was no use. The iron arm and hand Of the Professor held him firmly and pressed his jaws apart, while soothing voice said:
 Now hold still. This won't hurt very much"
 Steadily The Professor kept at his work, while Dr. Harvey Hickenhyphen writhed and squirmed and twisted like a contor- tionist with the stomach ache, and howled like bunch of property owners on tax day Every now and then Mynnye twirled in from the reception room, cir eed around him and begged him to be seated-that the doctor would wait on him presently then the Professor would tell him to hold still, assure him that it wouldn't hurt very much, and pull an- other tooth Just as the Professor had reached the last one, however, Mynnye happend to touch the button and a new voice. harsh. gruff one, broke in. Come an out av that now, ye durthy blackgyard" said the new voice. It was Pat. and the doctor had never heard such a welcome sound. A moment later and he felt an iron hand at his col lar and a powerful pull yank him out of his chair The Professor, though, was just lifting his foreeps at the time, and the forceps fastened onto Pats ear Nothing daunted by this Pat grabbed the doctor by the seat of his trusers and started for the door dragging the doctor and the Professor. with him. No doubt that it would have been an ordinary case of throw out but for the fact that in the reception room Pat and his burden ran smack into Mynnye. and his track was not invented with the idea of interrup- tions.
 Please be seated.' remarked Mynnye. 1 The doctor will wait on you presently. Please be seated--the doctor will wait on you presently Please be seated-the doc tor will wait"
 Now hold still" argued the Professor. ssThis won't hurt very much. Now hold still-this won't hurt very much. Now hold still-''
 Come an out av that now, ye durthy blackgyard. Come an out av that "Helpw roared the toothless doctor. Help Helpi''
 All the answer he got was to please be seated-that the doctor would wait on him presently to hold still now-it wouldn't hurt very much; and come on out of that. Tn the meantime the Pro- fessor was holding on to Pats ear, Pat was holding on to the doctor and Pat and Mynnye were struggling for the right of way. At last, however. Pat being the stronger, though driven out of his course' forced his way across the room and with one mighty heave, tossed Doctor Harvey Hickenhyphen through his own plate glass window.
 The doctor was perfectly sober when he hit the side walk. He looked up and there leaning out on the sill, in a confused, wriggling mass were three figures
 Please be seated,' one of them was saying. over and over. in tones of frieid poiteness, "The doctor will wait on you presently.
 Now hold still" said a more soothing voice. This won't hurt very much "Come an out av that now, ye durthy blackgyard," said the third figure gruffly.
 You go to h--lin screamed Doctor liar vey Eickenhyphen, shaking his fist at them.
 The doctor hereby announces that he has three marvellous automatons for sale, automatons. almost human and perfectly trained. but, she doctor is a conscientious man and declines to sell them, except to some strictly temperate dentist, who likes to see people squirm.