The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1904-04-01
TALE OF A cow.

tnat way Wnen l was fonnscr-anu L
liked TO talk: that may seem hard TO
believe. but it is a fact
1t happened in the sample room Of
the hotel I had a customer in there
it was general groceries then-and
was doing my level best TO jolly
him. But. on the dead. IL was like
trying to jolly a man with the tooth
ache. He was a solemn-faced. oldish
guy. And he had a spreading bunch OF
spinach on his chin that was in per-
petual motion from the circumstance
that he chewed pepsln gum 10 help his
digestion.
Il know now. but | didn't know then.
that I had made a had impression on
him by slapping him on the back so
hard that he swallowed his gum
Il laughed merrily at the choke. but
even that didn't seem to please him. He
didn't crack a smile and all the time
had him in the sample room and was
regaling him with the choicest selec-
tions from my Jest book he kept the
same funereal mug
Il persevered. however. and at last /
thought | saw a slight gleam OF inter-
est in his eye. II appeared. though, that
II was caused by the sound of a droning
bass voice in the barroom next door.
LES Jake winslow.' said my Gus
toner 1t would be q godsend 10 the
town If he could hear some Of your
stories. He's Just got one and it's all
night long and there's nothing he likes
better than to tell it
AT that I had an inspiration The
boys on the road had cheerful sport
OF interrupting each others yarns with
the relation Of another one That was
thought a wholesome restraint on
chronic spielers- | thought IL might
amuse my customer and thaw his re-
served demeanor II I should work that
little racket on Mr. winslow. so | said:
Call him in and get him started on his
story and I'll show you some fun
He stepped to the door and called:
oh. Jake,' and q long. shambling. ham
listed. double-jo jointsd old rooster with
a tattered straw hat and a strong spirit
uous odor entered the room
Shake hands with Mr.. BARLEY.
Jake said my customer Mr. Barley s
a great story-teller and he's been telling
me quite a few OF EN-. l was just wish
ing thar I could remember thar story
OF yours about the mulley COW. You
Il tell IT.
The big fellow grinned as be gripped
my hand oh. l reckon you don't want
to hear that he drawled in his heavy
| bass. Seems like told you that afore.
- haven't heard il. anyway, said
/ Go ahead and tell it
He grinned again and hesitated
Then he said: Well. it was this-away:
There was a man name o. Hockey. out
| in Holt county. where I was raised at
| had a herd o. mulley cattle. There was
a right smart o."
81 broke in on him. 'Speakin' of mul-
| ley cows said reminds me Of a story
| II isn't. strictly speaking. about a mul.
ley COW. although the man who told
me the story owned a COW. | dom
| think il was a mulley COW. though; more
| likely one of the common barnyarC
| vraiety with horns A COW doesn't lool
| natural to me without horns | went
| rambling on in that way for about ter
minutes: then I winked at my customel
and said to Mr.. Winslow: 4 beg you
pardon. I'm interrupting your story anC
I'm anxious 10 hear it.
He looked a little bothered. but b,
| cleared his throat and resumed: Well
this man Hockey was tellin' you abou
| had a sister name O. Annabel. She wa
a mighty good-lookin' gal, an
Il oh he usr
| who promised to be a sister to the mai
who proposed to her?'I asked. 1t seem
that the man was pretty badly gone oil
her and he called around one evening
with his mind made up to propose 4
her | went on with the story in
roundabout way and then stopped an
apologized to Mr. Winslow and beggeu
him to proceed.
This yer Hockey he began.
"I didn't mention that the girls IA
ther was taking it all in. Just when
| 1T was | who was interrupted tha
time Mr. Winslow stretched out on
of his big paws. caught me by the Goa
collar and shook me as a puppy woul
a slipper.
You dern little whiffet,' he growlet
giving me another shake. Will yo
shet your fool mouth? I'm talkin' mo-
| an you're lis'nin'. Set down there al
don't you move an inch or let out
whisper or I'll ram a cue down you
throttle
He lifted me as il I weighed abor
as much as a pound of butter an
| dropped me on the pool table where
had my goods spread out. I saw N
customer smiling in a pleased sort {
way.
~ must be getting back to the store
said my customer. I'm sorry l can
stay. Jake. but be sure to tell Mr. Bar
ley that story. He'll enjoy IL. know
"IIl tell IT. said the giant. shakin
his fist at me. As my customer went o,
he began again This yer Hockey
; Three mortal hours did that bi
drawing maniac keep me perched @
that pool table In terror OF my life. viii
he maundered and wandered in endles
purposeless detail about Mr.. Hockle
his muIley COW and his sister Annabel.
found out afterward that he really WI
| crazy. He had this story. which
never told except on request. but whiS
he invariably told TO the bitter end. A
interruption always made him franti
fighting mad Well. | don't rememb
| exactly what the story was about" -
o Chicago Daily News