Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1904-05-05
THE
"LITTLE WOMAN'S"
FORGERY
BY ALBERT BIGELOw PAINE

| through paying LOT IL. n uuHIOOi Vi
times we thought we thought we had
settled the last and final bit Of our la
bilities, a new demand would be
presented, a new hydra head to be
smitten off, new wound to be scared
over and forgotten. A big brace for
the tall new chimney was an extra,
of course. Likewise the storm win
dows and a new patent damper for the
furnace, guaranteed to save anywhere
from nine to SO per cent. of the coal
used, and to supply at least double the
heat The spark-screen, andirons, and
other adjuncts for the freplace-these
too, were outside the contract, and a
good deal easier to buy than to pay for
even when the buying meant housing
about in dusty antique stores, and the
paying a simple matter of drawing a
| check.
It is easy to draw checks when the
account is replete-in fact, 1t is rather
a pleasure to do sol am sure the lit
woman used to regard me with an adj
miration akin to awe as l carelessly
filled in the figures and name of the
payee, and signed my name with a
neat flourish on the line below.
1 suppose she wondered why I never
let her do it, and very likely consider
ed me selfish in conserving to myself
this important and rather agreeable
duty, though l did not think so at the
time.
It presently became less agreeable
When the figure of our balance waned
into the perspective until it became a
thin line that would vanish at the least
touch. the construction of check be-
came a serious matter. 1t was no long
err lightly conceived and carelessly put
together, with decorative scrolls at the
end like a spring lyric. 1t became
thing of forethought and reflection
to be wrought at last with grave dig
nifty that savored of the epic's solemn
close-with that feeling Of sadness and
longing that marks the end OF each
and every waning balance in the bank
ers till.
J AS was saying, our balance became
a feature of consideration, even discus
sion. There were a good many things
we still needed in the way Of furniture
and decorations, now that our habita-
ton was to our liking. We also needed
clothes. When we sat down in oul
rather imposing rooms in which there
were few good old pieces OF furni-
ture. and some truly antique rugs, the
fact that our apparel was also good
and old did not give pleasure to the
little woman.
She became almost disagreeablt
about It one day, when l was arguing
for a new chair, and declared that we
looked like tramps that had got in
while the folks were away.
I still urged the chair. I said thai
clothes were a matter of display and
vanity Also, that they were transient
and fieeting, while the chair would be
the comfort of a lifetime. Whereupor
the little woman stated that there were
certain garments that were moi
used for display, except in magazine
advertisements, and that these as vel
as the chair were matters of comfort
and needed a good deal more. She in
sisted that we had laid out enough OF
extraneous luxuries for one year, ant
that there were a few things we NIGH
forego. in order to be decently clad.
To do the little woman justice, may
say that I believe her general tendency
Is rather toward furniture than raj
ment-this being the true collector
shirt. and to be commended She h2t
smothered her better inclination, thi'
time. and was ready to sacrifice thu
chair for silk waist and something
, to 90 under 1t. She meant to have thu
garments, whatever the cost. You shall
see how she was punished.
We went together. Neither coulC
unite trust the other alone in the de
: .nartment store revel that was to fol
low the purchase of the waist. TIL
destinations of department store ar,
too great to be resisted singly. Ever
working together and in full accort
we yielded oftener than was good TO
our balance sheet, or for the prospec
of the new chair any time within
. neriod when we might reasonably hop
to need comforts for the flesh.
We didn't pay as we bought. Their
is great saving of time in getting
transfer card, and a greater certaint,
, of prompt delivery in having good
come C. o. D. When We got through
, we had bought most of the things W
, could think of without seeing them
and that we couldn't think Of agail
when we got outside and were on tn
train going home.
I had not counted the exact amount O
our debauch, but had run the figures u
loosely and literally and, realizing tina
the end was now inevitable, drew
check next morning for our full balance
Then 1 went away, leaving the chez
and the obsequies in the hands of tn
little woman. If the amount was nc
quite enough she was to make 1t u
out Of her weekly purse. If it was to
much she was to keep the change.
BY some quirk Of fortune 1t was to
r much. 1t was several dollars too mucf
The little woman was elated until tn
driver regarded the check rather doubt
fully and decided that he couldn't civ
money for It, He would give the good
& freely enough. The amount Of them wa
q fully ten times as much as the chang
coming, but they were only good'
Money was a different matter. He ha
: probably heard Of bogus checks. Til
might be one of them. He couldn't e.
Y change good money, however little, fc
o a bogus check. Perhaps he was a ne
f driver. hope so, for his sake
The little woman's argument was
no avail. He was good-natured, but
3 was firm. He was also ingenious. II
suggested that another check for II