Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1904-04-05
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4
the house won't let him come out!
Fusionist-I believe in the Office
seeking the man. Regular all
right if you don't want the Office
Brooklyn Life.
Many a rich father has discovered
that it is easier TO get daughter of
his hands than to keep son-in-,aw on
his Philadelphia Record.
Bob-Gosh, Rob. where'd you rake
up those seedy old shoes? Rob-Why.
man, those are my patent feathers Bob
But the patent has expired. ELI?
Miss Carrye Moore she calls him
her intended. Are thoy engaged? Miss
Cutting Hintz-No, but she intends to
marry him.-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Nipped in the Bud: Actress have
been robbed of my jewels Hotel Clerk
1t won't do any good; there isn't
newspaper in the town"-Town Top
les
Il can always tell when you are go
ing to tell lie" said Gregg to Legg
Howe" asked Legg. Il see you open
open your mouth" said Gregg
Topics.
Mabel-Why didn't you scream when
he put his arm around you? Ethel
1 wanted to. but couldn't and when
could l didn't want to.-~Butte Inter
Mountain.
Undoubtedly: Il see chat somebody
says there is no such thing rs luck in
business" HE must be one of the
lucky ones who have succeeded."--
Exchange
Etiie-Silly! Dolls don't eat any
thingl Bertie-Don't Ell? Well. that
old one Of yours that l cut open was
stuffed chock full of breakfast food
Woman's Home Companion.
And do you think he asked, that
men progress after death?' ''Weu,"
she replied, IF they don't it would al
most seem useless for some OF them to
die"-Chicago Record Herald
What She Did; And what did you
do when your doctor told you you
would have to quit wearing n corset
and give up sweetest" Il sent for an
other doctor. Chicago Record Herald,
Mahoole-Nixt tonne OF pass wild
loidy, Mulligan, we've got to remove yer
hat! Mulhgan-And suppose Oh re-
fuse? Mahoole-Then, bedad, we've
got to remove yer coat.-Chlcago News
Ernie-No. she isn't going to marry
Claude after ALL Ida-But they say
he can quote Emerson and Browning.
Eyes; but the other young man can
quote Sugar aud Stee' Chicago
Daily News.
How He Lost Her; She-I suppose
If pretty girl should come along you
wouldn't care anything about me any
more. He-Nonsense, Kate! What do
l care for good looks? You suit me all
right-Exchange.
Quick Action: First Russian-You
say the fight was quickly over? Sec
ond Russian-Yes; it was finished be-
fore you could say Jackopolinsky
RobinsonopolotokslSy - New Orleans
Times-Democrat
Really" said Mrs. Oldcasti4, your
little dinner last night war quite
recherche" 'Oh, DEAR" her hostess
groaned 81 just knew that new cook
would make botch of it some way
Chicago Record-Herald.
She-Have you ever met my TIVE
dearest friends? They are just lovely
and so devoted. He-How long have
you known them? She-Why, I've
known Annette nearly ten days and
Margaret almost week.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer
You should strive to appeal to the
Imagination and the human interest OF
your pupils" said the principal II
do" answered the teacher but it is
very hard to convince the boys that
Hector and Achilles were as great men
as Corbett and Jeffries."
Mamma. what would you do if that
big vase in the parlor should get brok-
emp said Tommy. 81 should spank
whoever did it." said Mrs Banks, gaz-
ing serenely at her little son. We'll.
then, you'd better begin to get up your
muscle" said Tommy, gleefully, 9 COS
papa's broken It."
"Rut. mamma" protested Miss Bull
yon. why are you sending out invita-
lions for a diamond wedding? You
haven't been married nearly long
enough for that" whats that got to
do with it?" demanded Mrs. Bulyon;
"your fathers financial standing
would make anything less than dia-
mond wedding absurd Chicago
Evening Post.
A weekly newspaper recently pub
lshed the following in its Answers
to Correspondents" column" We
have two apple trees in our garden
writes Ella, and in the spring they are
covered with such lovely pink and
white blossoms that pull them of for
table decorations. Now | see that there
are no apples IN the trees. DO you
think that this Is Easily to be because
l pulled the blossoms oH?"
In a Tango: by JoYe. old chapw
said Mr.. Makinbrakes, with enthusl.
asm. your wife must have been a
mighty handsome woman when she
was young Even IN all these years
she hasn't changed so much-though,
OF course. it couldn't have been many
years since she was young and hand
some-but when you come to think
how little 1t takes 10 make some people
look old, you know you wonder how
she manages 10 conceal the rayages--
that isn't exactly what | mean, but
she's the youngest-looking woman for
her-for her-haye you got a matchl
MY cigar has gone out Chicago
willing 10 Take q Chance.
A pious citizen has 15-year-oid son
who does not prOmise to be exactly q