The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-04-03
Fable With 8 Trolley Cor Moral

not uttered ten words before'the manager was deeply interested. When he had uttered thirty the manager was laugh ing, and little later he was holding his sides and swaying to and fro in so hilarious manner that the prospective monolosist could not refrain from break ing into a smile that set forth the grati- fication he felt in square yards.
 Sir" said the manager. T must con graduate you upon the fact that you are tho greatest monolosue artist that have seen to date; at the same time cannot offer you an engagement. for the simple reason that you are not a champion pugilist It takes a pugilistic reputation to make monoiogfst an acknowledged success. for. after all, 1t Is the fighting and not the artistic ability of the actor that makes this sort Of thing go You are all right artistically; now go and get a pugilistic reputation--win cham pionship in any class-and I will give you an engagement at $500 a week"
 The fire of the pump sellers ambition was now blazing away at full blast, and after a proper course of instruction and training he challenged the ls7 pound 6 l-2 ounce champion. known as "o'Callahan's Mouse" to fight him for a stake and good sized side bet. "The Mouse" evi- dently regarded the pump seller as the gilt edged apotheosis of a cinch. for he lost no time in binding the match and in making the usual preparations for the battle. Everybody was marvelling at the nerve and impudence of the new aspirant for championship honors. who was sa-casticaliy alluded to as the Ter rible Pumpsm!th.' At last the day of the fight arrived, and when the self raising star began fistic operations "The MnnaaS EnAuv ha% hn a~x s$ to such an extent that. like his name- sake of the rodent family, he wished that he had convenient hole to which to re- tire. The Terrible Pumpsr1ith," inspir- ed by the $500 week promise swung and jaboed and countered on the jaw and on the solar plexus in such style that at the end of the third round his adversary lay in his corner coiled up in such 6 shape that he looked like a fractured dollar sign.
 Then the crowd hailed the new ls7 pound l-2 ounce champion in the person of the Terrible Pumpsmith" The new champion was repeatedly challenged, but he would fight no more. as he was nov eligible for a vaudeville mono!ogue eR, gagement and at $500 a week. But he talked and shouted to advertise himself at such rate that he lost his voice per- nanently, which fact he did not dis cover until after he had signed the vauderbile contract, which the manager, deeply plunged In sorrow, was compelled to cancel. He then received an engage ment at big salary in a dime museum, which advertised him widely and exten- s!vely as the only prize fighter h exist ence that hadn't talking voice. It is superfious to say that he soon snassed a colossal fortune.
 The moral of tffs fable tea ches us that we would ever strive to make the most of our natural gifts and that we should never fail to follow the advice os strangers on trolley cars. It also teaches us that failure in one place usually means and leads to success in another, and that we should, therefore, occasionally court defeat as means of bringing about victory in some mysterious way. It tea ches number of things that are too | numerous 10 mention, and for that reason | could better remain unmentioned
 R. K. Munk!ttrfck