davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

A Paris newspaper on one occasion
made blunder which excited no small
amount of merriment at the expense OF
a man of real talent. The following
paragraphs. intended 10 have been
printed separately, were by some error
so arranged that they were read con-
secutively: "Dr. y. has been appointed
head physician to the Hospital de la
Charlie. Orders have been issued by
the authorities for the immediate ex-
tension of the cemetery of Mont Par
nasse. The works are being executed
with the utmost dispatch"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

Anybody who knows how TO take the
altitude of the sun or n star with a
seXtant and wishes TO take that of any
distant hill, stecplc or the like should
put n tea tray on the ground, fill it
with water and then retire from ii I'M
til the top of the hill, steeple or what
not is reflected in the liquid. Now take
the scXtant and make the image of the
summit coincide with its reflection In
the liquid. The angle of elevation will
thus, obviously, have been measured
double lIsif of this will give the
measurement required.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
Misunderstood.

Fergus Hume. who wrote number
of sensational books, was one day In n
railway carriage with friend. says
the London NJ. A. l.. In one corner was
nm old lady. MIR, Hume said to his
friend that he really did not know how
To murder any one in new way. lie
had murdered nj least twenty people,
and now he wanted new mode, The
old lady shivcrcd aud looked most APP
prehcnSiVC. At the next station she
got ont hurrlcdly. Evidently she took
MIR Hume for Il dangerous lunatic tray
cling with his keeper
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
Debate Information.

How much are these Scotch tan-
nels, pleaseY' asked woman in one Of
the large department stores one day
last week.
This lady will show them TO YOU"
airily replied the clerk. indicating with
an Indifferent nod girl about three
feet distant.
But" persisted the woman. 81 don't
want to buy now / simply want to
know how much they are"
"Oh. different prices and up" was
the nonchalant answer. - New York
Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

The eashew nut serves Il unique pur.
pose as n cosmetic in the West Indies
where women desiring to remove ex-
ccssive tan anoint the skin with an oil
from the outer surface of the raw nut
For two weeks the patient must retire
from society, for the face and hands so
treated turn black. At the end of a
fortnights scclusion. however. the wo-
man who has undergone the cashew
treatment energies, observers state,
with skin and complexion as fair ms
hahr's"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
Caught With the Goods On.

"Silas WIZ down to the city an had
to send for money"
Get bunkoedE'
Nope. He pasted his money TO the
inside of the bosom of his shirt, and
when he went 10 come home the land
lord wouldn't change his hIrt."-Ex-
change
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

Following the strike of 100 of its en-.
ployees, members of the United Hat
ters' Union of North America. the
Knox Hat company of brooklyn has
retaliated by declaring in printed reso-
buttons that never again will II employ
Il member Of the Iatters' union and
that henceforth its factory will be CON
Quoted Independent of union jurisdic-
ton.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
pa,.ipn of the steam ysr,rInc

Sir Frederick Bumwell Offered
$50, to be invested by the y 81 aSSo
citation and the accumulated sum to
be awarded fifty years hence for the
best essay on the steam engine nj that
time Last year Sir Frederick de-
clared his belief that in half Il cen lry
steam engines will be extinct. and dis
offer is the backing of his prophecy.
At 3 per cent the ESQ will have in
creased to about f225 In 1883 and is
then to be awarded for the best fuucr-
al eulogy OF the obsolete steam enigma
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

ia like to exchange this said n
woman who the other day entered Il
retail bookstore.
The clerk unwrapped the bundle and
glanced at It's contents.
I'm sorry, madam he said, but
we can't do it,"
"Why notY' she cried. You've al
ways exchanged books for me hereto
fore"
~ know" replied the clerk politely.
but firmly. but we can't change this.
It's The Leopard's Spots "-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

Youth has its own criteria by which
60 judge things which its elders assess
by other standards. Henry had just
come into his mothers kitchen. where
she was rolling pie crust.
Making pies. motherY'
YES. dear"
Say. mother, your pies taste all
right. but why don't you make some
like Mrs. Thompson gives me and Bill
ly? You can take piece in your hand
and walk all round the yard eating 1t,
and 1t won't break"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

"Yes, when Skrappey came I'm ne
seemed 10 be looking for something.
and believe he got it,
What was II? Something he had
LOST"
NO: he was merely looking for trou.
ble,"-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

A recent census reveals tlat the
Australian aboriginal is dying out In
177S. the year of settlement, Governor
Phillip estimated the native population
Mt 100000. Today 1t numbers only
1900 The aboriginal is extinct in
Tasmania. almost so In Victoria. and
In New South Wales he numbers less
than 1 900.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

what do we want with gold and
precious stonesT said the proud young
mother, gazing fondly upon the baby
This is fortune enough for us"
"lluh." gruntcd the father who had
been walking the floor nearly all night.
"Im glad fortune didn't knock twice ut
our door, Philadelphia Ledger
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
lSNDIntned.

Baxter Funny, isn't It? Where we
say man puts his foot in his mouth.
nose.
Foster OF course That's all owing
TO the nasal sound in So many of the
French words BOSTON Transcript
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

I'm about seven eases out of eleven"
said Uncle Eben, "when a man comes
aroun' AKIN yoh foh advice he's gwine
TO give yoh Il chance to OFFER TO lend
him money. "-Washington Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
One Good Reasou

mo. Jimmie, l am not going to Mag.
gle Mulligan's party! The Mulligans
amt In our set, an l don't like Maggie.
an I've got nuthin' to wear. an be
sides. | amt been invited, anyhowr'-
Louisville Courier-Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

You're all run down." said the doc
tor. what You need are quiet and rest.
You ought not TO be worried at all"
'Will You put that in the form of a
prescription, doctor, and give it TO my
MifCH" nSknd the mnn -ENchnnrn
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

The wealthy classes are always IN
more or less danger of being imposed
upon, Here. for instance. is Pullman
car porter sued by a New York VOID
an for breach of promlsa
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
The Tired nnctnr

"I hear strange sounds in my ears,
doctor" said the lady patient languidly.
well, where else would you expect
to hear 'em?" questioned the tired ply.
sician.-Syracuse Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

Actor-Hurry, or Wen miss the train.
Actress-I can't find my diamonds or
my purse.
"Oh, we'll, never mind"
Yes, but the purse had $40 in it,
New York Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
The Kitten.

Lady Visitor Ito little Crib What be
came of the little kitten You had here
once?
Little Girl Why, haven't you heard?
Lady Visitor No Was he drowned2
Little Girl Why. no II growed up Ia
be cat Illustrated Bits.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

Napoleon l.. who was II great ad
mirer of female talent (when it's owner
did not, like Nine. de Stacl. direct il
against HIMSELF. used to Sly, There
are women who have only one fault
viz, that they are not men"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
sympathy.

He-I got note from Dunno today
saying that he absolutely must have
the money | owe him by tomorrow
morning
She-oh, the poor fellow Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

"Has your husband provided maui
soleum for your? asked Mrs. Oldcastle.
"0h, my, no! Josiah was bound to
have hardwood floors all though the
house. "-Chicago Record-Ierald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
His TrouI,le

Have any buzzing in your ears?'
asked the doctor, who was trying to
diagnose the case.
NO" replied Mr.. IIeupcck. mot ex-
cept when have to stay in the house"
Chicago Record Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
Professional Condolences.

The Broker-Don't you find ii easier
to shave some men than others?
The Barber-Yes. don't you?-Yon.
kers Statesman.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30

For everything you have missed you
have gained something eise.-Emerson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
EnnliIN ninlnnlucN.

81 turn all my bills over to my Wife"
docs she have the money!"
mo. the nerve. = Cincinnati CONNER
riul Tribune
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
The, Are Gnnd To Their Mother.

The mother OF all trusts is the Gus
toms tariff bill 1t Is the government,
through its tariff laws. which plumbers
the people, and the trusts, etc, are
merely the machinery for doing it
Henry O. Havemeyer, President Of Su
gar Trust, June ii. 1899.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-03-30
HtrdsLlu Gnrmcufs

Eskimo women wear the most CO
rlous kind of undertaking. Its pecul-
skins of birds. These skins, before be.
ing sewed together, are chewed we'll
by the women in order TO make them
soft. About hundred skins are re-
Qulred 10 make shirt. and the labor
of chewing the skins which form their
garments is quite enough to account
for the massive, well developed jaws
of Eskimo women.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26
WORKING HARD TO
SECURE FRUIT LINE.
MIR. Roy C. Foster May Go to Boston
to Consult officials.

MIR. Roy C. Foster May Go to Boston
to Consult officials.
No information has been received
from the officials of the United Fruit
Company within the last few days in
regard to the re-establishment of the
Dispatch Fruit Line between Savan-
nah and Jamaica, and Secretary Dom
Ian of the Chamber of Commerce an
nounced yesterday that Mr.. Roy C.
Foster may go to Boston to consult
the officials of the United Fruit Com
pany to determine just what action is
going to be taken in the matter.
The fact that the people of Charles
ton are making a determined effort to
again secure the fruit steamers for
that port has bad the tendency to stir
up the business men of Savannah. Mr..
Fred Vessels, Jr., the junior member
of the firm of Nielsen, Browne & Co.,
who first inaugurated the movement
to again secure the line for this port,
is still hard at work and is bringing
all the influence possible to bear on
the officials. He has prepared consid-
cradle data and forwarded it to the
president of the United Fruit Company,
showing the advantages of Savannah
over Charleston, and a comparison of
the railroad facilities of the two cities.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26
"FOXY GRANDPA" CASE
TO SUPREME COURT
Costs Have Become Greatly in Ex-
cess of sum Sued for Originally.

Costs Have Become Greatly in Ex-
cess of sum Sued for Originally.
The case of NJ. Wilensky against
w. A. Brady, proprietor of Foxy
Grandpa" is going to the Supreme
Court. 1t has been assigned for hear
ing at the October term. The case
has been pending for some time and
the costs are now far in excess of the
amount originally asked.
The case arose out of a poster which
was placed in the show window of
Mr.. Wilensky. When the poster APP
specified and Mr. Wilensky asked for
two tickets. The agent told him that
he could not give him a ticket, but
that he would get the best seat in the
house On the contrary, Mr.. Wilensky
did not get any.
He then brought suit in Justice
Bevans court for the amount of $25,
but the jury found a verdict for the
defendant. The case was then GER
tioraried to the Superior Court and
Judge Barrow ordered a new trial.
The second trial before the justice re-
suited as had the former, and again
the case was taken to the Superior
Court
Judge Cam, considering the two SIM
liar verdicts of different juries, re-
fused a new trial of the case and sus-
tanned the verdict of the jury in the
justice court. To this Mr.. Wilensky
files exceptions, claiming that the court
was in error in it's findings, and ask
ing that the evidence be reviewed and
the errors corrected.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26
MOVED HEADQUARTERS
TO SAVANNAH
New Fire Insurance Association il
Southern Bank Building.

NCW
Southern Bank Building.
The home office of the Georgia Co.
Operative Fire Association has been
moved to Savannah from Augusta and
has established headquarters in the
Southern Bank building. The company
was chartered by the state of Georgia
three years ago and claims to have
$650,000 insurance in force in the state.
At recent meeting of the board of
directors of the company DR.. w. F.
Reid of this city was chosen president
and it was decided to move the head
quarters to Savannah. A branch office
is located in Atlanta with Mr.. w. S.
hristenbury, vice president in charge.
Mr.. Edward A. Smith, secretary; Mr..
Joseph p. Greene, treasurer, and Mr..
John I. Wilcox, general manager. will
make their headquarters here.
The company has agencies establish
ed throughout the state and claims to
be the pioneer industrial fire insurance
company of the South. A majority of
the board of directors of the company
are business men of Savannah, and it
was through their efforts that the
home office of the company was moved
here.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26

Thirty-six years of continuous sue
cess. Just think what that means.
Thirty-six long years in business, each
year more successful than the previous
one, with never a backward movement,
always growing larger, ever increasing
in popular favor. How many that
were doing business thirty-six years
ago are even in existence to-day ?
Very, very few. In this age of devel-
opment and fierce competition. a con-
Germ must do business right, treat it's
customers right and sell what Is right,
to even hold its own, much less adj
vance. To do otherwise means that
the concern of to-day is likely to be
out of the running tomorrow. The
graveyard of business failures is full
to overlooking. But thirty-six years
of continuous success and still grow
ing. Think of it, How has II been
accomplished? In just one way. BY
selling absolutely pure whisky, direct
from our own distillery to the consum-
err, saving him the enormous profits of
the dealers. and carrying out to the
letter every statement or offer we
make, thereby creating a confidence
with our over a quarter of a million
satisfied customers that cannot be
broken. Read our offers elsewhere in
THIS paper. The Hayner Distilling
Company.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26
CLEVER COUNTERFEIT
PASSED OVER BAR.
City Detective Found Men Who
Passed the Bill.

City Detective Found Men Who
Passed the Bill.
One of the cleverest counterfeits ever
passed in Savannah was handed over
the bar at Helmken's saloon yesterday
morning.
The fact that the bill was not good
was not discovered until some time
later. The matter was then reported
10 the United States authorities. and
later it was given to the police to work
on.
A genuine one-dollar bill was used,
and was raised to a five. There are
probably hundreds of these bills now
in circulation.
The first information that the police
had of the matter was that a bad IS
bill had been passed at Helmkens sa-
loon. The circumstance had previously
been reported to the United States au-
thorities. The superintendent of police
assigned Detectives Wall and Murphy
to the case.
The work is neither a new stamp,
nor the work of a clever artist with a
pen altogether though there is a good
deal of pen work on the bill. The
COunterlelterS nave ulScONeIeu SolHS
process of erasion, heretofore unknown,
by which the general color of bill
may be eradicated. In this way the
surface of the bill. all around the one,
is treated and the five is then worked
in. A clever pen artist gets in his
work going over the change so that
the difference in shades of color may
not be detected.
Detectives Wall and Murphy learned
the identity of the two men who pass
ed the bill They are both railroad
men and both were paid off only yes
terday in an adjoining state. In cash
ing their checks one of them received
the counterfeit. He passed 1T in abso-
lutte good faith. it is thought by the
detectives.
Both the men in the bar at the time
have been identified by the officers.
One of them has been seen, and the
other will be back Sunday morning.
There is no doubt, the officers say,
that neither one of the men had any
idea that the bill was not good.
The information secured by the de-
tectiVes will all be furnished the au-
thorities in an adjoining state, and the
headquarters of the gang may then be
located. There is no doubt. the Off
GERS say. that the bill was brought
here by an innocent party. 1t is
thought by the detectives equally GER
tain that the counterfeiting headquar-
ters can be easily found, If the clues
found here are followed. Interesting
developments are expected within the
next week.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26
BAD BOY CROOK
HELD BY POLICE.
Says He Will Escape as Did Harry
Miller.

Miller.
For safe keeping, Willie Herman,
only 13 years of age, but old in the
knowledge of the police, was yester-
day confined at the police station for
safe keeping. This time there is no
charge against the lad.
He was delivered to the police by
r. T. Burch, an uncle. The boy had
run away from home, and his parents
were planning to send him to New
York to an aunt. He has been in
trouble with the police here repeatedly
and several times on very serious
charges. When the boy found he was
to be sent to New York, he left home
Immediately. The steamer, the City of
Macon, on which he is to sail does not
leave until Monday and he will prob
ably be left at the police station until
then.
Yesterday he was Boosting that he
would jump overheard, as did Harry
Miller, the boy swindler Willie him
self is not without a reputation with
the police. The last time he was in
the police station another boy about
his age was also locked up. When
Herman was released he stole one of
the locks from the door. His eXplana-
ton was that he wished to have a
key made, to return and deliver his
companion.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26
Central of Georgia Railway.
Changes Schedule sunday, March 2


A through train will be established
between Savannah and Augusta, in
creasing the service between these
points to three trains daily.
Leave Savannah daily, S:45 a. M,
300 p M, 900 p. M; arrive Augusta
daily, lis p. M, 1880 p. m, Gas a. m.
Leave Augusta daily, 700 a. M,
100 p. M, $40 p. m. Arrive Savannah
daily, 11S0 a. M, 6:10 p. m, 700 a.
M
Trains leaving Savannah 800 p M,
arriving 1870 a. M, run through.
Trains leaving Savannah 900 p. m,
arriving 700 "a. M, carry through
sleeper.
Trains leaving Savannah 800 p m.
and arriving 11:30 a. M, will connect
at Dover with trains to and from
Dublin.
Train No. 2 daily from Atlanta and
Macon will arrive Savannah $40 T..
m.
No. 7 Except Sunday. for Egypt,
will leave Savannah $40 p. m, arrive
Egypt 7:4O p. m.
No. daily will discontinue stop
ping at Paramour Hill, Scarboro and
Ogeechee.
No. daily WIFI discontinue stop
ping at Pooler, Bloomingdale, Eden,
NARROW and Pineora.-ad.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26
WANT WORK DONE
ON THE SUBWAY.
southside Club Urges Its Committee
to Get Busy.

Southside Club Urges Its Committee
to Get Busy.
There has already been too much de-
lay in the matter of the Gwinnett
street subway.
This was the sentiment expressed at
a meeting of the South Side Admins
tration Club last night. Not only did
the members of the club put them
selves on record on this point, but
they called on their special committee
to do something.
A resolution was introduced and
unanimously passed calling upon this
committee, composed of Aldermen
Grayson, Hartman and Glatigny, to do
something and do it Immediately. The
members of the committee were in
structed to make an investigation at
once and find out just why the work
on the subway has not been started.
The South Siders are thoroughly
stirred up on the subway matter, and
insist that there is no real reason for
the delay. They contend that the de-
lays have been unnecessary and that if
the work had been started when it
should have been the subway would
have been finished early in the sum-
mer. The plans are now in the pos
session of the Savannah Electric Com
pany and will probably be turned over
to the director of public works early
next week.
The meeting was an enthusiastic
one and fifteen new members were
elected. Addresses were made by
Maj. John Schwarz, Simon Gazan, Carl
Mendel, w. I. Hussey and j. Robert
Creamer Letters expressing regret at
their inability to be present and speak,
We're read from Col. j. H. Estill, j.
Randolph Anderson, Esq, and Charles
Edwards, ESQ.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-26
AUTOMOBILE BUILDING
TO BE CONSTRUCTED
VIII Cost $4,000 and VIII BE Built
by Il. A. Bryson.

VIII Cost $4,000 and Will BE Built
by II. A. Bryson.
A three-story automobile repository
is to be established by Mr.. T. A. Bry-
son at tho rear of his automobile es-
tablishment on Bull street.
The new building will extend from
Perry street to Perry lane. and will
have a press brick front at the en-
frances on both streets. The building
will cost about $4,000, and the speci-
f1cations have been completed by Ar
chitect H. w. Witcover.
Bids for the erection of the new
building will be called for to-day, ami
work will begin next week. The con-
tract will call for the completion of
the new building by June 1. The spec
ifications call for stone and brick. An
electric elevator with a capacity of g.
900 pounds. will be installed. Mr.. Bry-
son says the new establishment will
be the most up-to-date automobile re-
pository in the South.
He now has sixty automobiles order
ed, which will arrive here before the
building is completed. The specifica-
tons for the interior of the new es-
adjustment call for the finest decora-
tiOnS