The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-18
|.WHIMS OF THE IDLER$
DISPUTES ABOUT .MATRlMONY

DOOOCIfOOCOOSOS tOCSN10SS"-"0s@@'S>S1
Three months collie, rnufnps, stof11ach
tno,b6 cho,cro r,orb,,; and the dangers
..,s..S - ~. ,,a ,,,,,, ,hinga
VI street cu's ~ n.y. NV o'is Z. 49, e..
Hchich bother tis III conllectloll WIN oU',
children
These evils likc our poor relations we
nave always Win lis.i In time We BY by
used to thcn1, or rather we learn 10 pear
UP under them.
But gravcr thoughts sometimes inter-
vene and add TO our parental pcrpieS NJ
Nov anu then there comes time Wiien,
cogitattDg on tie welfare OF our Ht I'VE
shoe destroyers we ask ourselves lllis
solemn, awful question: What OF tnelr
future?
Up at our house.. wien the queen l,,
and put our heads together 10 Satniaple
converse and map out plans Tor our on nest
& Of fledgellngs, We generally meet upon
VIC can strike the Keynote OF harmony
True. VIC occasionally spar when the COM
uandcr-i n.Chlef expresses n desire to
mako one OF her SONS Baptlst palsol,
but on the whole, our talk is free from
acrimonious argument.
One subject, however. always makes
both OF us shivery and skittisl1. and more
than thrice has prcclplthted some pcl-
perry interchanges OF ideas. That sub
5ect relates to the future marriages Of
our juvenile treasures and the manner
Of husbands and wives we would like
Tor them to select. Let this topic come
UP and she who uses me az her lifes
meal ticket, forthwith says something
TO lrritate me, and then and there we
TO begin with, there are some subjects
on which the two sexes maintain pc
ecnnlal cat and dog quarrel. For instance,
the Queen Bee. being q womafi-and q
tHrnatlon hne woman a that--is nat
0rBl born dyed In the WOOL match maker.
That ls to say, she's q match makcr6 Tor
h Our gals and Tor as many other gals as
Will let her stick her nose Into their.
4 business. Ten weeks after the stork
& lands n assle into this musty. old sphere
Che champion stocking darner OF the Com
monwealtA begins calculating on getting
\ the new gal good, law-abiding, thrifty:
Baptist husband. who ia deacon in the
4 church. a kind chap to children and d,
4 handy man around the house with ham-l
B ener and lacks. Is
Matrimony, according to the Queen
Bee, and despite her caustic remarks
aimed at mo every ten mlnutcs-is the
Ultima Thule OF feminine existence. To.
her mind, the maid who reaches twenty
two without having life's meal ticket
@ in trousers. is n hopeless failure a So
4 ciaI nisf,t, n thorn In the flesh Of her
family. i{{s% q
Verify the woman .exli]ts In prospective
sons In laws. She'd like forty head OF
them and / don't 20 out OF my way TO
compliment her when say that i be
q Have ah,.'5 namner avery blessed one OF
Y them ia death. 5'i &
d iy s{
,,,,4 ~. 4. ,r,t,, 20, ,.h ~
Il An.sn.t "bsra y tinxt nav wave into my
heart{with dynamftc and when 6flce one
or these human sugar-r,lums lands Itself
on my premises, II want It for keeps
X ecns. / gay. and none OF your schemes
for passing her down to some other man
Just when she's gotten that pretty and
b)nonin' that you want TO be rubbing
your whiskcry face against her every
i ho,T.!n the day. ,9,,
%. fudge. recently SAID the cunning
remnant. hunter o. my no'isehoia "I y,
nag .'sis
~ ,.,d
,,c,,
;.rsrvthinu ciss i,I.sthis liouse--we' a grow
go,d Vii, : bnnch ~ njc1.le-f faced spinsters
sitting around lie place slipping tea and
squcalIng like stuck pigs every time Il
mouse. ran nearithe cheese box. In, for;
marrying girls Off. for getting 'em fixed
for life, for giving 'em a good shove
down the Matrimonial hill. and seeing
I'm comfortably settled with good
honest godly husbands, who'll al"a !,
look after EN- and sho'" EN- nice der, asi.
cate little sunn 10 No
70 snow me !li.eh .ri,, vas rail-
~ W Ia h,,ntar Ia netti.
.iia MI, - M I'm AIT
e1a y y nv ~ ~ ], ",
& WAVE J. ar ~ ii est al bafy hasn't turned
go, ~, = M our nre,ie,nu. worth Ie1-s
,,..i,,,,,. n.no,d l,ttlc thumbs sucker is
y,,.,.Iiv t,vo 30 after all. eligible young