Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-25

.GR|DIR0u R!0AsTs
Annual Spring, Dinner an
Enjoyable Affair.
THE SUPREME COURT
-H---
HOW IT WOULD LOOK AS A MIN
sTREL SHOW.
Strenuous Efforts Of the White Wash
ing Commissions Associate
Member Initiated.

The spring dinner OF the Gridiron Club
was given at the Arlington Hotel last Sat
urday to q brilliant company Of guests In
appreciation Of the xernal season Small
had decorated the historic banquet hall
with spring blossoms and flowers suitable
to the season, while the cuisine included
all the spring delicacies and the menu was
printed In the form of a spring poem on
| lettuce-tinted paper.
President Coolidge presided with graceful
tact and introduced the speakers of the
evening in gentle and suitable roasts. Not
wfthstanding the 1ateness Of the banquet
ing season, the list of guests included y
great many notable persons, Supreme
Court Justices. cabinet members, senator's,
representatives and men high in official and
social life. -
Following the custom of the Gridiron
Club, the dinner was interspersed with
| music, songs and clever skts, Astounding in
hits at public men and measures. The first
act was the initiation Of Mr.. John H.
Nolan, recently elected to limited men,
bership. Mr.. Nolans musical versatility
was brought into play and he was re-
quired to initiate himself by singing to the
explanation Of why he was present The
explanation was satisfactory from every
point of view, and he was declared for
| mally member. as
The Supreme Court.
In the midst of the dinner voice was
heard announcing the entry of the Su
preme Court Every one craned his neck
as through the door marched nine men, in
lock-step, attired in the familiar black
robes worn by members Of the highest
tribunal in the land. Mr.. Justice Harlan
and Mr. Justice Brewer, who were among
the guests, looked bewildered, and won
hat wa
soon advised. The court took seats In
chairs in the main aisle, and then each
member. from beneath his judicial robe.
drew tambourine or pair of bones and
forthwith broke out into a rollicking negro
deck hand song.
Well, 1t was study to watch the faces
Of the grave and venerable justices. But
they enjoyed 1t hugely and as the minstrel
show progressed they entered into the
spirit of the affair and laughed with the
loudest.
The minstrel justices sang songs, proposed
oonundrums and cracked jokes on proml-
nent men, For example:
II understand says the end man, that
John Dalzell Is to write a book On How to
Be Statesman
"So?' says the interlocutor. What Is his
idea of statesman?
ITO wear red carnation and look WISE
Again:
II understand the democrats will run
John Sharp Williams for Vice President?'
THAT would be fine, but he won't get 1t.
The south is too busy remembering her
dead heroes to take any stock in her live
ones"
why is William R. Hearst.s candidacy
like living at hotel on the Anne lean
plan?" hsN- ~ sA's }x< 80. q .g--.e
. Because you pay for It. whether you get
it or not
Still another:
TOO bad that the democrats not in
duce Judge Parker to say something"
ssYas oh n bet pIa aes1d m
a frank so he can express an opinion"
Then the end man, in referring to the
Hearst boom, sail 1t reminded him of the
story of friend who woke up and found
pink elephant in his room. He wondered
how he could get him out. for he was too
big to get through the window or the door.
The elephant solved the question by slowly
backing through the keyhole.
Then the minstrels sang song, entitled
"Peeping Through the Knot Hole in Papa's
Wooden Leg, or Who Built the Ocean So
burlesque a familiar drinking song, and
had Judge Parker's silence for the subject.
The last line suggested that a dumb man
would not be sent to the White House.
The Whitewashing Committee.
The embarrassing committee then took
the floor. With all soemnity they pro-
ceeded to announce that Investigations had
been brought against a number Of states
men and that they would be whitewashed.
On an easel nearby stood outline sketches
of the subjects and as the committee an
nounced the verdict the whitewasher
de ubed the pictures. Here are some of the
hits
Speaker Cannon is charged with being
absurdly infatuated with the United States
Senate and the American Institute of Ar
chitects."
"How Is this infatuation shown?"
He invariably speaks of the Senate as a
graveyard, which is a place everybody
holds in great venera tion."
''And how about the architects?"
He thinks so much of their comfort that
he won't let them bother themselves with
plans for the House office building or the
extension to the Capitol"
'1t seems that this Is a very poor case.
Gentlemen, how do you vote? Is the
Speaker peaks guilty or not guilty.
Whitewater daubs the figure of Cannon.
THE Speaker Is not guilty Of being In
fatuated with the Senate and the architects
and has been whitewashed,
'The Attorney General Is charged with
being too reckless In the pursuit Of trusts"
How do you make that out?"
Didn't he spend the large sum of s27 600
out of the 100000 Congress gave him for
trust-busting purposes?
And what happenedT'
why, he took that grasping monopoly.
to disgorge $1,000" =.
But what else has he done?"
price Of coal only 81 a,tan last winter
How about the beef trust?" ,
THAT was great! A sirloin steak that
used to cost 60 cents now costs only 81. 49,
and there will not berTaIiother raise until
May L. 49,. s3sus b,
Gentlemen. you hays heard the evidence.
Is he guilty or not guilty.
Not guilty" al ga
.Whitewasher. do y6url iduty.'' - :.
Whitewater daubs Knox
Mr.. Knox has been whitewashed on the
of trusts = n,. u.
Brsso ", is charged witt flying to put Con-
What are the spetihcA tions?'
1.-THE debate on tRa day William Alden
President, a. a.. = r
Anything else? ?" ~,
isn't that enoughg'
1--WE think the charge is not sustained.
He must be whitewashed"
Whitewater picks up brush and swipes
1t over the picture. leaving 1T as black rs
before. - t-sa
Here. here. why don't you whitewash
Mr.. Bristow on this charger"
stick. sir
I'm that case the committee stands ad-