The San Francisco call., 1904-12-25


The Man-What made you think
was a candidate for office?
The Kid-Judging from de size of dat
paper, fought you was writin' let
, ter of acceptance.-Philadelp Tele-
graph.
Bridget, you must be more careful
with your busting. I declare I could
write my name upon the piano"
"'Deed, ma'am. it's yerself has the
gran eddycayshun!"-Town and Coun-
try.
Yes she's pretty, but poor conver-
sationalist; she seldom saws a word. I
can't understand why so many men
propose to her."
II can," sighed Henpeck.-Houston
Post.
Ted-It's easier to speak to a man
than to a woman.
Ned-I guess you've never been in
love with a girl and tried to scrape up
courage to ask her fathers consent
Town Topics.
Young-Wonder why it is they call
the man who stands up with the groom
the best man at a wedding?
Elder-It means that he is the best
of; he's the one who isn't married, you
know.-Boston Transcript.
Stout Old Gent IN the Street Car
Now, then. sir, what are you doing
with your hands in my pocket?
Henry the Hustler@Sorl right, boss!
1 thought as 'ow the conductor 'ad give
yer a nickel short.-Toledo Blade.
"Oh." sneered the self-inportant
lawyer who was ross-examining, you
think you know it all. don't your"
Not quite" replied the witness. For
instance, 1 don't know how you man
age to secure an occasional CLIENT
Chicago News.
Gertrude-Do you think a woman is
justified in using deception in order to
secure a husband?
Frances-For mercy's sake, how do
you ever expect a woman is going to
get married I should like to know
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Dobbs-How is your new
neighborhood?
Mrs. Dibbs-Oh. just like the other
one; all the rich people talk poor,
and all the poor people talk rich.-
Puck.
Miss Hunt-Do you know anything
about baseball. Mr.. Staylate?
Mr.. Staylate-Yes, indeed. was
considered the best amateur short
stop in the country a few years ago.
Int all
have thought it.-Augusta Herald.
Why are you so late, George?"
Been down to the club playing poker
! for sweetheart stakes"
What horrid ideal"
Here's your share, my dear-s2S."
What a lovely. acknowledgements
Plain Dealer.
us my husbands case serious. doc
tor?"
1T is very grave. madam. I have
left an opiate."
How often shall give It to him ?"
He needs absolute rest and quiet.
Don't give 1T to him. Take 1t your
self''-Coliier's Weekly.
why is Harkins rushing around
so excitedly?"
why, he says his baby is finan-
cially embarrassed"
Get out! How could a baby be
financially embarrassed
"Oh, he swallowed cent, you
know."-Daily Kennebec Journal.
Marrying an extravagant woman
! has been the making Of many a man."
remarked Mrs. Jobkins. He feels the
need of more money"
Yes" returned Mr.. Jobkins, that's
all right il it don't drive him to drink
in the meantime. ."-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Vacationists homeward plod their
weary way,
And leave the bills to future or to
Pap;
The breezy call Of muscle-wracking
day,
The cooks shrill clarion depriyes
them of nap.
Rochester Herald
Miss Dashem must be a very
clever girl. The other evening I
heard her talking some strange lam
guage with young Sofmohr. 1 think
1t was Creek
"Oh, no. 1t wasn't Greek. Most
likely it was clearinghouse slang
Cleveland Leader.
you look hot" said Sinnick. Zone
would think you had been running
race'