Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1904-11-10

Big Four Family Combination-Rher
matte Cure, Blood Food, Nerve Tonic
and Magic Liniment-four big bottles
cost me nineteen cents, filled and la
beled-thatll gather in every half
dollar in jay town. The spiel that
carries that framed it up myself
say, it's a dreami believe it'd go here
il New England. One o. these days
I'm planning to throw in about six
cents worth more alcohol into the
four bottles, and strike for the prohibi
ton regions.
We'll. as | was insinuating, fifty
cents is a good deal of money. Its
safer to have a twenty-five cent line,
ten cents is safer still, and you'll
strike some forsaken placeS-or even
pretty live towns, between pay-days-
where nickel specially is the best
you can do. generally so loaded for
all of EN-; and say, it's amazing, the
difference You'll find between towns,
in up-to dateness, l can name YOU
places where the return ball is a sure
seller yet, and where whiStling bal
looms, that you can buy for a dollar and
a half gross, would bring dime if
mans conscience would let him
charge it. There are Southern vii
lagos where, seems like, they're suffer
ing for paper caps. just such dinky IL
tie bits of foolishness as YOU pull out
Of bonbons. The safest stock in the
South, though, is printed fortunes,
with, photographs of your future hus,
band or wife The fortunes cost sew
enty-fye cents a thousand and the
photographs cost s. a thousand.
Wrap lrp one Of each with a little
cake OF soap. and it'll do your heart
good to see the dimes come in.
The combination package goes wei
in the South too Say YOU put in a
songbook that costs YOU three.qrar,
tiers of cent; a look-baCk, that shows
what's going on behind and beside
you; whistling balloon; the fortune
and the photograph, with cake OF
soap that you call corn salVe If you
work the town the second night; pa
per hat; book of recipes; a key
chain and a piece of jewelry. The
lot figures up eleven cents, and it's
good for twenty -five. Speaking of
iewelry-you can get an assortment,
$50 bang-up pieces, for $5-reminds
me that you don't want to specialize
on that, in the South, anywhere but In
a ppIara5 Sntt1anNnDt The white
folks take it too seriously. | knew a
smart Aleck from Cincinnati went
down into North Georgia with buggy
load of brass and glass, and did land,
office business for three nights. The
fourth night his first customers, that
he'd left nearly fifty miles back in the
hills, reappeared on the scene and
they made him give back the money
and swallow the goods. Not any OF
that for me! I'd be afraid the breast
pins would scratch as they went
down"
For moment strove to divert the
flood of "reminiscences. why aren't
YOU in st. Louis operating conces-
sion at the Fair?" | asked.
Cant see anything in it, my friend
the fallir responded seriously. "Firs,
place concessions cost money Next
there's too much competition-on the
outside, | mean. With the hotels and
restaurants choking people and taking
IL away from EN-, there's nothing left
for an artist who prefers to coax EN-
into giving up of their own accord.
| won't play the strong-arm game, and
II looks to me that that's the st. Louis
fashion. Besides, don't need St
Louis. Talk about your fairs. heres
a list of more than 700-fifty-six of
'em right here in New England-that
take place between July and Noyem
Der in different parts of this great and
glorious country, and all that smart
man needs to do is to lay out his
route and get busy Chances arc
that what with the fairs and the
beaches, and good old Boston to fall
back upon, I'll be working in these six
States until snow flies"
Selling medicine?" | suggested.
Later in the season, maybe. A
medicine spiel doesn't seem to so in
hot weather, somehow, unless you
have some kind of sideshow to help
hold the crowd. The Indian medi
cine men have spoiled people for
straight business I'd have to hire a
fellow who picks banjo and sing
comic song. anyway, and if | ever got
! as far as that into the show business
/ might go farther and bury tent. |
have thought some Of animals" my
/ friend admitted, rather difidently It
4 seemed.
Animals? p
"Uh huh, he nodded Say, do you
realize that you can bury an eight-foot
python for $40, and STAYING big ALI
gator for $3.50 Yes, know they
amt animals, but they're snakes-or
is an alligator a fish? Well, anyhow
you can get leopards or lions, or cats
or pumas for $50 apiece. and mon.