The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-23
A COLUMN OF
STOlYETTES
Grave and Gay, Historical, Epl-
arammatic and Otherwise.

+
4 ----
| Grave and Gay, Historical, EpI-
grammatic and Otherwise.
When Wicker. the Chicago pitcher. was
a young fellow pitching on a college team
in the South, preacher uncle OF ms Weht
out TO see him pitch a game. What ara
those nreliminary signs that the catcher
Is makingY he asked. He is signing
Wicker what kind Of a curve ne Wants sl.
"Do YOU mean to say sir that he and my
nephew are conniyng together TO deceive
the batter?' You might put Il that way
/ suppose" And this Is Christian col
lege" sighed the Rev Mr.. Wicker.
=
Sylvester r. Burch, chief clerk Of the
department Of agriculture, comes from
Kansas. A Kansas farmer called on MT.
Burch in Washington and all the farming
marvels Of the department were SHOWN 10
him. He was silent. He seemed impress ,,
ed. Il tell YOU what II Is; sir SAID MT.
| Burch. enthusiastically, rthe time Is CONE
ing when a man VIII be able 70 carry al
the fertilizer for an acre Of ground IN
one Of his waistcoat pockets Pc. Pc
| lieve It, sir, returned the farmer, but
he will then be able to carry all the crop
| IN the other
Gen. Frederick d. Grant is responsible
| for a story that embodies an answer 70
/
| they soon get over their tantrums. Grant
had a friend who. on account OF his merry
temper. could never keep valet one OF
Il them remained two months, ana on leaN-
Il ing told his employer blunly the reason
for his departure. Pooh, pooh. james,
SAID Grants friend, what II am quick
| tempered2 Ny anger IS no sooner on than
| II Is off True sir" said James. re-
spectfully, but il is no sooner on than
II is on again
The car is superstitlous and often con-
| suits fortune tellers. A young gypsy girl
has been making "A success in ST. Peters
burg along this line, and the car near
ing of her, sent word for her 70 Visit MN.
he told her OF dream that he had had,
Of seeing three -ats, . lean one, a fat
one ana a blind one He wanted the
dream interpreted, saying that It troubled
him. HAS II a meaning2' he asked. II
has said the gypsy who is extremely
frank The fat rat stands for Russian
officialdom-for all your various ministers
and departmental heads. The lean raj
IS your people, The blind rat IS your.
self"
.'rhe widow" said T. W. Read Of Nash
vile. furnishes the most dellghtiu
manners OF human beings One sum
mer." he continued. II was spending
some time at White Sulphur Springs, Va.
woman and her little six-year-old son sa
near me ON the veranda. The little fellow
trotted up to me. and / patted him O
the head What's your name?' he asked
/ told him. Is you marriedg he lisped
No. I'm not l replied. Then the chill
: paused a moment, and turning 70 nj
mother said, Mamma. what else did 20
tell me 70 ask him2' I"
( y
One Of the delegates to the Republican
: national convention from the Philippine
told a stosy about Capt Andrew Rowan
whose exploit in carrying the president
message 10 Garcia won for him plac
! among the heroes OF the Spanish wal
r Rowan was stationed at a post in one {
r the remote provinces Of the Islands.
3 backward season had been disastrous
e crops, and the prices Of provender ma
, time several wealthy Chinese merchant
p had been arrested for smuggling RoWa
Q put the Mongols at work cutting gras
I rhis. brought forth a protest that rnail
/ Manila. IN due course OF time the 10
K | lowing telegram reached Rowan: 'Wh
l are you compelling wealthy Chinese me
v chants 20 cut grassT Because grass
4 high, was Rowan laconic response.
y r.
J. An Eastern college professor, who VI
Il going 20 test the power OF Laughing q
n upon some Of his pupils, overheard one
them saying that, as the gas renders
Z one irresponsible for what ne said.
was going TO take advantage OF that IA
e when il was administered to him. az
give his plain opinion Of the professo
:. After the class assembled, the profess
]
I Of Illustration. he would like to admin
Is ter gas TO some member. The schemif
= student volunteered, and the leather bs
L was connected with his mouth. He 500
!, showed evidence OF much excitement. al
z began TO express his opinion Of the pr
& fessor IN language punctuatet by nut
e profanity. Having allowed him 10 pr
e ceed for some little time the profess
e then said that he needn't be so irrespo
E sible for the gas had not yet been turn
a on!
Justice David ]. Brewer Of the s.
I preme court of the United States sa
"a sha, the best way 70 reach the your
n them. that ever since the day Of Moth
l Eve they had been potent factor
9 catching the elusive man; and that IN
are a. strong now Ns they ever wer
n He told the story Of the religious ma
y who took his Bible In one hand al
q his little son by the other and We
"a for a walk and Instruction. They can
"a upon a bevy OF young girls playing in Il
d forest and the boy asked what tn
E were Geese; .,. my son geese. ss45s rePn
~ catch me one" cried the boy.
There Is capital story about Hen
n Ward Beecher told again in the Journ
e. OF Education There was a discussA
ar at a ministers meeting-we suppose Z
K. old Congregational union Of Brooklyn
OF this Question-what TO do when 4
* congregation went to sleep in the colr
Of the sermon Mr.. Bcecher was ask
his opinion. lf course Ahal was a mat
quite outside OF his personal eXperienC
hut he answered. "AI Il. can say abo
ts il. brethren. is that in Plymouth chur
A. we find a very successful method. T
IN sexton has orders. II anybody is Sc
a asleep in the church. to go right up IN
y the pulpit and wake the minister
A.
e 'Tnventors. with all their original
ar and briliance are often naive. childli
az and impractical" said Gen. Wallace
n Randolph Of the general stan of I
army. AN inventor called on me Q
n day 10 talk about an explosive he h
at originated 1t is the most poweri
er explosive the world has ever seem
T. said. and il is my idea 70 send 1t
D. in a balloon with lighted fuse attach
"a 10 IL The balloon will be sent over I
es camp of the enemy. the explosive "
III 20 on and the victory Will be ours 'fe
said l. but suppose a current Of
r. should blow the balloon back over o
"a own army2 What then2 Then. sd
al the inventor. laying his hand on my ar
he I tell YOU what it Is. general. our arr
Sc would have 10 get up and run for all
ur Is worth.
IN The Man who Fills Hanna's P1a'
w AT his desk Chairman Cortelyou. Tho
en- ough master OF every detail Of the ca
IN paign. smiles the day through. lll-hum
ch is an unknown element i'm his compo
ed ton Once each day. usually at IL in [
lg morning. he goes to the press hure
3 / and gives a few moments of his Valua|