The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1904-07-17

| well, SalQ f1eHHeSSy, I'll Ia
bors iv tn convintions ARE at an end"
IF that's what we call thin. they
ar-re." said Mr.. Dooley. LAS Hogan
says, tn dimmycratic convntion la
bored an brought forth muss. TIL
republican convintion labored too.
like a cash register. 1t listened to
| three canned speeches, adopted a pred
| igested platform, nommynated a cold
storage vice-prisidint give three es-
picially prepared cheers an whit home.
TIL convintion's mind was all made up
| f'r 1t befure 1t met They was a lit
| tie too much make up, but who cares
FIR that? Not so, tn dmmycratic
mind. That's a good. plain. unvarnish-
ed. freckled mind that niver made up.
Not that us dimmycrats haven't poll
cies. We have more thin anybody else.
TIL attic Nv ivry dimmycart's house is
filled with oil policies that he wanst
used, policies that have faded. or pune
tured a tire or broke a handspring or
been run over be band wagon. often
go up an fondle me OIL policies an
think iv tn days whin we thought free
thrade was so becomin' and the income
tax an tn silver question. I've laid
thin away in lavender. Hinnissy. IT'S
no good bein' onfash'nable. on'y some
times 1 object to tn party wearin' tn
lcastoff buds iv tn republicans. Rather
thin that I'd see 1t go naked Nv poll
cies entirely FIR awhile an thin make
itsilf a suit iv clothes that bore no
tailor's tag. -5@ II
But, as I tor We, dimmycrat has
plinty Nv principles that he'll fight FIR,
on'y they niver get into a dimmycratic
platform. A dimmycrat is a free an
indepindent citizen who thinks FIR him
silf-wrong. A republican is rich an
humble vassal who gets others to
think FIR htm-right Ye cud hold a
republican naytional convintion in a
clothes closet but we cudden't r-run an
orderly dimmycratic convintion in a
forty-acre lot. There's thousan' red
hot convintions inside Nv ivry dimmy-
cratic convintion. Ivry man has some
principle that he'd lay down his life
FIR but wud perfer to lay down some
bodys else's life. That's why we niver
get a satisfactory platform There isn't
a platform in tn wurruld wide enough
f'r two good dimmycrats to stand on
without Crowdin.' So afther we've had
our fights an disturbed tn peace
thryin' to frame up something that
will permit tn gintleman firm New
York to speak Nv tn gintleman firm
Neebrasky in tn prisince iv ladies, we
pass a resolution declarin' that TIL re-
publican platform is all wrong an go
out an take our dacint, complete lick
in like sOgers. That is, some Nv us
who've niver held office. does. But a
man who has held office a long time
is a republican anyhow
80. me boy, tn dimmycratic con-
vintion was strongly to me taste.
Throuble an merrymint firm tn dhrop
Nv tn hat. Bands playin'. women
screamin,' fists flynn. lots of candy
dates. thousands iv platforms. Can
dydates, says L? Sure, ye'd think firm
tn spirit iv tn thing that all tn man
that got tn nommynation needed to
do. was to tellygraft to tn White
House to have TIL bed made up an he'd
take ham an eggs FIR breakfast in tn
mornin.' They was a candydate firm
ivry safe an county: TIL sage Nv
Esoopus, tn sage iv Princeton, tn
sage Nv Pike, Sage Hearst, Sage Will
lums, Sage Cochran, Sage Murphy,
Sage Mike Padden. Sage Champ Clark,
sage Roger Sullivan, ivry sage EXCEPT
Russell Sage There was Sage Bryan
who whit around takin' a kick at
lVry other sage's vinrable heand an
there was Sage Hill who got Sage
Bryan down an fed most iv his wurruds
a long an ondigistible meal. Oh, IT
was fine. I wish't I'd been there. Such
enthusyasm! TIL chaplain delivered
r-ringin' prayer an tn con-vintion
cheered itsilf hoarse. At tn mintion
" tn name ov that grand OF dimmy-
crat who has sthud be tn party in
time iv need always, or almost always,
or three times out iv a possible five,
or sixty percent refer to tn sage iv
Princoton-th' convintion arose as one
man an cheered FIR two hours an thir-
| ty-wan minYits. If in that lonely re-
threat Nv BATTLE an TIL discords Nv
p"lltlcs that vin-rable stateman did
not hear this gloryous thribute iv his
fellow dimmycrats it was, Hinnissy.
ony because tn linemen had not quite
finished tn long distance tillYphone
connectin' tn lonely rethreat with tn
con-vintion hall Akelly enthuyas-
tic was tn rayciption iv TIL other
sages. At tn mintion iv Sage Olney' 5
name, tn con-vintion cheered FIR two
hours an eight minyits. At tn min
u"n Nv tn name ~ Cock'rill, TIL
air was rent with cheers lastin' FIR
two hours an two minyits, mingled
with cries iv 'who?' At tn mintion
Nv III name iv Willum r. Hearst tn
convintion cheered an one rayphorter
fr tn Journal. FIR firm wan half iv a
sicond to nine hours an forty min