The San Francisco call., 1904-07-24
[nE AMENITIES OF CHEERFUL LYING |t'S%$E TR9}5

the street. flung their arms about one
another and cried like little children.
I was abroad at the time. but on the
point Of returning home. I almost
felt ashamed to go. looked at my
self in the glass and was shocked at
my own appearance; it was that OF
a man who had not been in trouble
for weeks. I felt that TO burst upon
this grief-stricken nation with a cOun-
tenance such as mine would be to
add to their sorrow. 1t was borne in
upon me that I must be shallow.
egotistical nature. had had luck
with a play in America and for the
life of me could not look grief
stricken. There were moments when,
If 1 was not keeping a watch upon
myself. I found myself whistling-
Had it been possibIeI would have re-
mained abroad ell some stroke OF i'll
fortune had rendered me more in tune
with my fellow cOuntrymen. But busi-
ness was pressing. The first man 1
talked to on Dover Pier was a Gus
tom-house Official. You might have
thought sorrow would have made him
indifferent to a mere matter OF forty
eight cigars. Instead OF which he ap-
peared quite pleased when he found
them. He demanded three and four
pence and chuckled when he got il.
On Dover platform little girl laughed
because a lady dropped a bSndbox on
a dog, but then children are always
callous-or, perhaps. she had not
heard the news. What astOnished me
most. however. was TO find in the rail-
way carriage a respectable looking
man reading a comic journal. True. he
did not laugh much; he had got decen-
cy enough for that. but what was a
grief stricken citizen doing with a
comic journal anyhow? efore / had
been in London an hour had come to
the conclusion that we English must
be a people OF wonderful self control.
The day before, according TO the news
papers. the whole country was in Sc
rious danger Of pining away and dying
OF a broken heart. In one day the na-
tion had pulled itself together. I'VE
have cried all day" they had said 70
themselves, I'VE have cried all night.
II does not seem to have done much
good. Now let us once again take up
the burden Of life" Some OF them
1 noticed II in the hotel dinlng-rOom
that evening-were taking quite kindly
to their food again. Our amusements
are all founded on make-believe. We
stand about solemnly in the middle OF
a field, our hands upon our knees. Our
object is to prevent another man from
running uD and down between two
rows OF sticks. II we catch the ball
ne has hit toward US with a bit OF
wood, he has to pretend that he cannot
run any more, but must go home
and take his clothes off. We make
believe we want to catch a fox
AS a matter Of fact we have not the
slightest use for the fox. We make
believe about quite serious things. In
war, each cOuntry's soldiers are always
the most coura geOus in the world. The
other cOuntry's soldiers are always
treacherous and tricky; that is why
they sometimes win Our governments
are supposed to be founded on the prin-
ciples Of the Sermon on the Mount:
and spend most of our taxes on max
ing arrangements to quarrel success
fully with our enemies. Literature is
the art Of make e-believe. Now, all OF
you sit round and throw your pennies
in the caD.% says the author. 'and I
will pretend that there lives in Bays
water a young lady named Angelina,
who is the most beautiful young lady
that ever lived. And in Noting Hill.
we will pretend, there resided a young
man named Edwin, who is in love with
Angelina" And then, there being sufi-
cient pennies in the cap. the author
starts away, and Dretends that Ange-
lima thought this and said that. and
that Edwin did all sorts of wonderful
things. We know he is making it all
up as he goes along. We know he is
4rr-r a. h1
please us. He, on the other hand has
to make believe that he is doing it be-
cause he cannot help it, he being an
artist. Though we know we'll enough
that. We're we to stop throwing the
pennies into the cap. he would find out
precious soon that he could. The
theatrical manager bangs his drum.
walk uD! Walk up," he cries. I'VE
are going to pretend that Mrs. Johnson
is a princess, and old man Johnson Is
going to pretend to be pirate. Walk
up, walk ~, and be in time," So
Mrs. Johnson. pretending to be a
princess, comes out Of a wobbly thing
that we agree to pretend is a castle;
and old man Johnson pretending to be
a pirate. is pushed uD and down on an
other wobbly thing that We agree TO
pretend is the ocean. Mrs. Johnson
pretends to be in love with him. which
we know she is not. And Johnson pre-
tends to be q very terrible person:
and Mrs. Johnson pretends. till II
o'clock to believe it. And we pay
prices varying from a shilling to half
a sovereign to sit for two hours and
listen to them. But, as I explained at
the beginning, my friend is a mad sort
Of person.