Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1904-04-01

Iue Shlu yciOW. MIS-. Linn S
so. Every time I catch my boy smok-
ing he gets tanned.-Mail and Ex-
press.
do you think you could ever marry
for money" "No. But I'm sure l
could soon learn to love girl who had
million or two."-Chicago Record
Herald.
Sportsman-Any good hunting in
this part of the country? Native
Lots Of it. Sportsman-What kind OF
game. Native-No game at all. Just
hunting.-Illustrated Bits.
Willie-Mamma, l told Aunt Helen
she grew homelier every day. Mrs.
Slimson-You didn't tell her said so,
did you? 81 had to, or she would have
whipped me. Brooklyn Life.
what are they going to do when
they get through tearing up the
streets?" Lay 'em down again, Of
course! How else would anybody be
able to tear 'em up later on, silly ?-
Baltimore News.
Reeder-Scott said clever thing to-
day. said that luck is good bit like
lightning, for 1t seldom strikes twice
in the same place. Heeder-Yes, aud
as a rule neither Of them needs to-
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
Hannigan-Shure, there scales is no
good at all fur me. They only weigh
the heft of two hundred pounds, an
Dom near to two hundred and fifty.
Flannigan-Well, man alive, can't ye
git on thin twice?-Philadelph
Press.
Playgoer-I suppose the leading
lady is very happy after getting all
those bouquets. Usher-Oh, no. She
only got five. laygoer-Gracious!
Isn't that enough? Usher-No; she
paid for six, l Philadelphia
Press.
Kittie-Paul told me last evening l
was the prettiest girl he ever saw.
Bessie-Oh, that's nothing; he said the
same to me last year. Kittie-I know.
dear, but his taste may have improved
since then, you know.-Boston Tran
script
Prisoner, why did you strike this
man? "If you please, your Honor.
he came to me suddenly and said.
How old is Ann?" "Well, what hurt
did that do?" "Why, you see, your
Honor, Ann is my wife, cleveland
Plain Dealer.
A Volcano.-"What is volcanog'
asked the teacher. "a mountain with
fire inside" said one. A smile of
comprehension spread over the puz-
zled face Of the smallest scholar as she
asked, surprisedly, as that mountain
range"-Harper's Magazine.
She-I have two very dear friends
Agnes and Florence-He- Which is
the more popular? "Oh, Agnes is
much more popular than Florence
among the girls" Introduce me TO
Florence. l am partial to cookbook
ing girls."-Kansas City Journal.
Mrs. Kalling-You haven't got that
splendid butler now-Mrs. Parvenu-
NO, he was fraud. Mrs. Kalling-In-
deed? Mrs. Parvenu-Yes, he forgot
himself once and neglected to drop
his his" so we discovered he wasn't
English at ll.-Philadelphia Ledger.
He-How did you enjoy the opera I?
She-Oh, 1t was just splendid. He
Really? But it was all French.
wasn't it? She-Oh, no! OF course
some of the handsomest ones were un-
mistakably Partisan, but there were
many pretty gowns that were evi-
IDENTIFY made here. - Philadelphia
| Press.
Launched on His Literary Career
''I understand your son has decided tn
go in for literature" Yes, and he's
made a splendid start already" "You
don't sayT Yes; he went to auction
this morning and bought a secondhand
writing desk for only four dollars and
ninety-eight cents."-Catholic Standard
and Times.
Now" said Mrs. Biggleson's cousin
at breakfast on the morning after her
arrival, don't make company of me-
l want to be treated just as if | were
one Of the family" "All right" re.
piled Mr.. Biggleson, helping himself
to the tenderest part of the steak
well try to make you feel right at
home."-Chicago Record d-Herald.
+ The squire's pretty daughter (exam-
lining the village schooD-Now. chill
dren, can you tell me what a miracle
is? The children look at one anotho,
but remained silent. Can no one an.
swer this question:" the new curat.
asked, who was standing behind the