The Washington times., 1904-07-03
HAGGERTY AND THE MINISTERIALS.
Sugger and Lamp Hyes Have Sad Experience Memorable
Game of Briggsown Methodist Conference Against the
Baptist Seminary One Fourth of July Morning
His First Season in Comdropper League.

Strange picked It Up an threw 4 about
eight feet over my head an the ball
was lost. an four runs came f.. max
ing the score 10 to IS In their favor
The Reverend Trotter famed out for
us in our last half. and the Reverend
Wertz tried TO kill the ball an Knocked
up foul that their ketcher accidentally
caught. Then Lamp got up and ripped
out 5, gle an It was up 10 me 1
| didn't S-sste no time l couldn't git a
good swing on account OF the darned
boiled shirt an no spikes IN my shoes,
but / whacked a hard one ever the left
fielder's head an we started TO run.
IT'D been all right only for Lamp.
The dumb guy r,ln around an touched
the plate. an. then, seem me turnin'
third an the ball comm. after me. he
forgot where ne was and began 10
coach:
Come on there. Hag. Shake her upI
That mutt can't throw! Come onI
Slide:'
There Was Riot.
Il didn't want to slide IN Pete's good
pants. but l saw the keIcher waitin'
for the ball. an so ] just made one c.
my famous dives an made the plate;
1
band o Pete's pants. an my baseball
cap. with Alfalfa. on 1t, popped out o.
my pocket an the keteher picked il up
an then a riot broke loose.
1.-The Reverends Trotter an Wae-
oner an Strange got all mixed up in a
crowd o seminary players. an some
seminary professors grabbed me. One
o. EN- says: You big pirate you're no
more a minister than nothin' at all.
You're name is Haggerty. an you're the
catcher OF the Alfalfas'
I'D a owned up, only the Reverend
Trotter seemed 10 be clinchin' his mis-
sionary in Africa story with one about
me hayin' played ball before / was a
minister an that 1 was all right So
says:
beg pardon. brother. but I'm not
used TO that kind of talk. I'm the Rev
4" Reverend nuthin'.' holiers another.
Reverend nuth'.' hollers another.
. Wot's the catechism? came from
the outskirts O. the crowd
Yes hoilers another. What's the
chief end of man.?
Tell 'em. Hag.' whispered Lamp. 4
used to know. but it's slipped me-.
! ~Cnief End o. MAN.
"'wot's the chief end O. man?' says
l. Wy, that's easy. The chief end o
mantle chief end O. man is 10 play
bali-o' course-to play BALI!
AT that 1 laughed an they ali
laughed. an l tried TO make out It was
a joke. l didn't know whether I'd an
swered right or not. but ] was afraid I
hadn't An then the big white-whis-
kered Teller says:
They're decciving US, They really
are ball players. I do believe They
can't laugh it on
Yes sings out another They're
Typographical ringers
. That minister must a-put in some
time out o. doors to pick that up. says
1 10 myself an then the white-wnis-
keIed fellsr says:
= Now. II you really are what you
claim, you certainly can tell US the
Apostles Greed.
The what?' ] asked. A laugh rose.
looked so puzzled.
The Apostles Creed Prove to Us
thai you are what you say you are
Sir says l. straightenin' up. 1t is
sadly against my principles TO strike a
man, says /. much less a brother. But
If you can that name again 1 shall for
get myself
| shipped rum Fo1Cc.
| well never knew q minister could
punch so hard before. but one soaked
me in the neck an there was a loud.
sarcastic laugh. an Lamp swung OUT
with my mask. an then a diversion
come. Out in the middle o. the dia-
mond the Reverends Trotter and Wag-
Oner an Fitchey an Strange an their
bunch was all mixed up with the Bap-
inst bunch. an the langwidge comm
out from under that hill O. scratehin.
tearin. white-necked. high-collared
arms an legs made me close my eyes.
An then Lamp plucked my sleeve. an
see the cops comm in from the street.
an We left Joshs coat an mast D
/ Pete's pants an the Alfalfa - an the
midst O. the howlin' multitude ar took
II on the run. We got TO tl.e station
an caught train an made Alfalfa in
time for the afternoon game. But il
took all the ten-spot l got 70 pay for
the clothes I'd lost or wrecked an
Lamp lost a diamond ring.
I'VE didn't hear no more from
Briggstown. but l guess they never cad
another ministerial ball game there-
leastwise. none o US ever played in H..