The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-09-30
UNCLE SANS CIGARS.
Plight Of . Man who Tried to &c,
the Best Of the Customs. ="

Plight OF . Man Who Tried to Get
the Best Of the Customs.
The customs regulations permit q
person to bring in for his own CON
sumption 30 cigars or 300 cigarettes.
the ruling Of the department being
that for customs purposes fifty cigars
equal that many cigarettes. Travellers
are always arriving who do not know
the regulations or who try to evade
them. Nine times out Of ten the trav-
eler at once wants to make it per-
sonal matter with the inspector and
acts as If he thought thrashing the Of
fetal would get his cigars in free. Then
he cools down little and offers to pay
duty on all over fifty and take them
all. There he strikes q new cause Of
rage. The smallest number of cigars
that can be imported is 5000. All un-
der that and over fifty are seized. The
inspector endeavors to explain that he
did not make the law and is RESPONSE
BILE only for its execution as he finds it.,
but that seldom works, and the trav-
eler goes away breathing fire and mad
with desire for vengeance.
A man came in from Havana recent
1y with box Of cigars out of which
he had smoked fifteen. There were
eighty-five left. The inspector who ex-
amined his baggage told him he could
have only fifty. The man declared that
it was an outrage and intimated that
he believed it to be perpetrated for the
inspectors personal amusement.
"Who gets the rest?" he demanded.
'They are seized for the government"
was the reply.
Thereupon it was evident to the man
that the outrage was for the benefit as
well as the amusement of the inspect
or.
Il don't suppose you smoker" he
sneered.
''Not on duty" suavely replied the
inspector.
"Well, you won't smoke these off
duty" cried the man and began to
break them up.
Hold on" said the inspector ''You
mustn't do that
"Why not?" demanded the man.
"They are my CIGARS
mo, they are not" replied the in
spector. "They belong to the govern
ment"
No words would fit that situation,
and the man went away. A little
later he charged into the office of tie
law division, prepared to tear down
the custom house. He wanted to
know, and he wanted his information
quickly.
"Not NY cigars, eh? Well. they
hadn't been brought in YETI
"Oh, yes, they had. They were con-
siderably inside the three mile limit
when you had them on the pier"
a little argument cooled him off, and
he finally said:
"Well, I'll take my fifty, and you can
have the rest"
you haven't got fifty now" said the
official.
Haven't got fifty?" he screamed.
I'D like to know why l haven't.
You've said all along l could have
fifty"
'Yes, but you broke them up"
II didn't do any such thing. broke
up the extra thirty-fvev' ....
"Oh. no. Those are Uncle Sans.
You were breaking up your own. But
don't think you destroyed them all.
There are about fifteen still left for
you"
And he had to do the best he could
to seem content with fifteen. All of
which shows again how foolish it is
to kick against the pricks. Most men
do it. however, and sometimes they
beat Uncle Sam out of his cigars.
There have been instances where men
so situated pitched the whole supply
overheard in their rage.-Century.
49,, ~,