The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-01-16

it ought TO be big-something tina
shall strike at the throne of En-
gland itself. and set every othe
throne in Europe trembling; some
thing that will delight our friends an
terrify our enemies. and set all tn
rest of the silly world agape like
pack of geese. And | think I've go
it. Listen! This jubilee, that is 81
soon to come off, has done our caus'
i~ncalcuable damage; 1t has sent sweep
ing to the very ends of the world sucl
a wave of loyalty to the throne as per
haps has never passed over u plane
before. Even that unutterable monkey
on a stick, and poser Of posers. whit
so loves to play at soldiers, and have
his portrait taken in uniform--the EN-
peror of Germany-sits securer on hi
throne to-day because Of the jubilee IL
England. 1t has strengthened the po'
| sition of monarchism immensely, anC
has put back the day of democracy by
a good so years. The picturesqueness
of the thing and the sentiment of it
the queens being a woman n
widow, and all that-have turned the
heads of even thoughtful people, and
it wouldn't surprise me If jubilee day
saw even the staid members of this
council waving their hats and yelling
themselves hoarse with the rest of the
populace.
well, gentlemen, to come to bust.
ness, The Strand. as some of you
know. is to be decorated with f%estoons
of colored celluloid balls stretched
across the road, This will look pretty
in daylight, and prettier at night, as
each ball is really an electric lamp,
and when they are all lit up the effect
will be splendid. I've taken a certain
house in the Strand for the occasion.
I've engaged it for the night before the
iubilee and for Jubilee night as well.
so that people that are nervous about
the crowd land | expect the crowd
won't be a bad second to the Day of
Judgment in the point of numbersl
can sleep there before and after the
event. and SO see the show in comfort.
And if any of you want to see some
thing more exciting than the show, |
happy to reserve seats. I've rented
the roof of the house with the rest of
it, and when it is quite dark | shall go
I'D there on the night before the jubi-
lee. | shall take with me a certain Gel
luloid ball, which looks exactly like
those used for decorative purposes, but
which in reality contains a deadly
bomb. so constructed that the slightest
conclusion will explode it. One end of
the wire rope supporting the festoons
of celluloid balls is secured to the roof
of the house | have taken. This wire
rope | shall undo, and slip my own
celluloid bomb ball upon it, letting
the thing slide down till it reaches the
slackest part of the rope, which will,
of course, be the center, and so just
over the middle of the road. There
will be 100 much going on below for
any one to notice that n of the many
festoons along the Strand happens to
have an extra ball; and If they do no
tice it they'll only suppose that it Is
one that has got out of its place.
Well. when the show passes shall be
on the roof with a pair Of sharp steel
pincers, and at the precise moment
when the queen. surrounded by the
TnIol nripn1u ir nuycinp 1nnpr tho
f~estoons, | snip the wire, the bomb
falls, and then-well, then guess we
snuff out the entire royal family at one
wipe. How's that for high, gentle
men? | rather fiatter myself it's pref
ty. Anyhow, it'll be the biggest and
the tidiest thing in the way OF a royal
assassination that history can snow.
II you want me to put the thing
through, say the word, and I'm your
man. | guess it'll bring the subscrip-
in at such a rate that we shall
all be able to chuck conspiracy re-
tire into private life to spend the
pieces. What do you say, gentlemen
There's no need for us to say any
sneered Councillor Number
Five, who seemed determined to main
tain an attitude of opposition to every
thing that Number Two had proposed
You talk big enough for a houselui
yourself. Don't you think all TINS
off would sound more to the
purpose after the event than before ltf
Even a hen doesn't cackle Till shes
aid an egg"
"If you have formed any plan for
striking a blow which is more likely TO
'tartle the world and to induce sub
'c%riptions, replied Number Two, cold
y, Il shall be happy to withdraw my
proposal
Il thought not he went on when
Five shook his lplQ. linen In