Evening journal., 1904-08-01
LIES THE MAPS TELL
NOT ABOUT LOCATION, BUT IN THE
MATTER OF NAMES.

In rev places VIII you ma more
healthy, robust lies to the square inch
than an average map. and this is the
document that is daily placed in the
hands of our young.
Begin up north and take Greenland.
Was there ever a more fragrant impos-
ture than the name OF this countrys
1t isn't green and never was green and
never win be green. Here is what the
gazetteer says about this green" coun-
try:
1T is high and rocky and barren. It
Is covered with eternal snow and gla-
riers. July is the only month in which
here is no snow" There's a picture OF
grecnness for youi
How did it get called green? Wen.
by an unscrupulous falsehOod on the
part OF tenth century reprobate
called Eric the Red OF Iceland. This
ancient shark accidentally ran against
the ice patch in question with few
other lcelanders or his own kidney
He cut back TO Iceland and Doomed
4 for all he was worth.
He called Il Greenland and 10 delude
the Iceland investors and general pub
lie said Il was wonderful green coun-
try. which he wished them 10 visit
with their families and take shares in
some mines he had discovered. Well,
some OF the deluded creatures went.
They never returned to good old Ice
land any more.
But there are plenty Of equally gross
lmpostures. Take the Black sea, for
instance. Why black? Who said 1t
was black? II is no more black than
It is pink or purple. The ancients call
ed II the "EuNine"-which means 'in-
hospitable"-se That was another
good old fiction. It is not at all an In
hospitable sea, for. having no tides. It
Is one OF the ensiest 10 navigate. Now
and a-ain there are big storms, just 70
give the sea a realistic touch. but gen
orally speaking Il isn't black, and It
isn't inhospitable.
The Cape Of Good Hopel Good
Hope. indeed. Ask anybody who has
been round that promontory what they
think Of It. The only good hope" they
experience is a good hope that they
will soon get ashore, for Il is one of
he toughest and stormiest places
known TO mariners. What we should
rall a cyclone on the North sea would
be smiled at round the cape ns n bit OF
breeze. The gentleman who called II
Cape OF Good Hope was a crude sort
Of humorist. He made his money in
the king business, styling himself John
II. OF Portugal His faithful subject
/ Diaz discovered it and told his majesty
that he had called it the stormy
cape" But the king would have none
Of It. He said that he hoped Diaz
would find something else round the
other side next time he went 70 the
cape. so he called 1t Cape of Good
Hope
why the Dead scar The locality
may be as dead as a doornail, but tbs
sea itself Is pretty lively. 1t is the
safest piece Of water on the face OF
the earth. ten times as salt as the
ocean. or course there is no particular
vegetation roundabout. and the sen Is
free from monsters. Nut that doesn't
make the sea itself deAi. 1t Is really
a most live sea.
Why English channel? It's no more
English than it's French. The French
themselves don't call it English at all,
but simply ia Manche."
Then was ever more absurd name
given 70 that bit OF water which sepa.
rates England from Holland, called
the German ocean, Why German
There's nothing German about It and
never has been. Dutch, Belgian OF
British, If you Ike, but not German
Then why ocean, II is not an ocean al
all. There is a piece of water that size
between Australia and Tasmania, II
anything rather wider, which they cal
4 strait-Bass strait Just fancy tho
absurdity of teaching the child mind e
think that crossing TO Ostend or Ant
werp is an ocean trip.
North sea. too. is absurd. Why north
II is not north of anything In particu
lar II is east of Britain. west OF Hol
and. Belgium and Denmark and soutl
OF Norway and Sweden. II is not &
north sea at all.
There are some islands in the Pacih,
why Pacific. by the way? Wher,
ioes the peace come in on that desc
late, typhoony. billowy, tidal wavy vii
: derness called the Friendly islands
Look at the encyclopaedia version o.
their friendliness: ''They are volcanic
and earthquakes are frequent. Island
are frequently upheaved. Hurricane
are constant" Then the friendly ma
tivesi The sole reason the islands wer'
called Friendly is because when Cap
tain Cook visited them he found tn
natives had not got any arms. SO thel
were friendly. No doubt But whel
the missionaries tried TO convert then
they had a different tale to tell. Fo
thirty years they endured "a perflou
, struggle with the savage paganism o
the inhabitants"
could call your attention to dozen
more Of cases Of monstrous mendacit,
on the part of the map. But the edito
has just taken away my atlas.-Pear
sons Weekly.
CIubmen's Real Worries.