The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-08
THE NOHPAREJL MAN

EuIogy Pronounced on the Cows Faltf-
ful Protector and the Partner Of Her
joys and Sorrows-A Few Simple Words
In Appreciation of the OK and Of the
Unframed Bull Calf Of the Pasture.
Colonel Woods Of Illinois pronounced
over the COW a noble eulogy which was
quoted in this column Saturday While
we would not detract one word from any
thing that may be said of the COW, we
feel that the discussion should not be
closed without a word in behalf of the
cow S male protector, the lord Of the pas
ture, the king Of domestic beasts and the
mighty ruler of the domestic barnyard
When the COW was first brought across
the boundless and swelling billow and
stepped modestly ashore at Plymouth
rock, at jamestown or at st, Augustine,
the hoof that proudly denied the virgin
soil Of the new continent by her side was
that of her sturdy gentleman friend. In
that wild and unsubdued land this strong
and fearless hoof was often raised in her
defense, and in the defense Of their Off
spring, against the hungry wolf, the wild
catamount Of the mountains and the still
wilder and hungrier red man. Those two
iron horns and that determined eye and
shaggy front We're always between her
and the spot where danger lay.
Did the partner of the cows joys and
sorrows, In his eagerness to defend the one
OF his choice, sometimes mistake her
friends for her enemies, lift the sturdy
farmer suddenly over the fence and paw
vigorously at the soil Of the pasture with
low below Of defiance while the indignant
wal, by hem Of the defeated agricul-
turist was heard in the fields, this should
be laid to his impetuous disposition rath-
er than to warlike desires.
And the heavy and faithful
ever in the early days, the stone wall OF
the Yankee farmer has reared it's massey
line along the fields or wherever the great
timbers have been dragged into place,
there has labored. side by side with man,
the mighty OK, the tower Of patient
strength. Goaded ofttimes wrongfully by
the nervous and angry driver and beaten
across the face by the stick, he has never
retaliated. but has patiently taken un1e-
served punishment with no other defiance
than winking Of the eyes and a shake Of
the head. r" =--"
And the wild bull calf of the pasture.
What farmers boy has not had the ad-
venture Of his life in monkeying with this
sturdy son Of the cows protector. And
to remember his muscular lines, his grace
ful-awkward springtime leap into the
air, his expressive tail standing straight
up at the base, with the upper part of it
looping down in that graceful curve!
But perhaps we should not particularize.
The destiny of the whole COW family Is
bound up with that of the human race.
With every man of sensibility we take off
our hat to the cow-and we also take it
off to the cows husband and see care
fully to it that the fence is between us and
him or that there is a good, stout tree In
the neighborhood.
| Long live the Genus Bos.
| Lombroso says that most criminals are
l. eff -l1a ndaH the ha in fhie
city were ambidextrous.
| Father snuffed suspiciously as he en-
| tered the room. He didn't know whether
daughter had been doing a little burnt
wood decoration on punkwood or whether
her young friend had carried his cigar
cite exposed.
A young woman in Indiana encouraged
| the attentions paid her by a gentleman
Of 76 years. but when he proposed mar
| riage she laughed at him and he blew up
her home with dynamite. The girls must
| find out that they cannot hand out to US
old papas the googoo eye and the frosted
mitt in one and the same bundle. It
may do for the Charlie boys. but father
| won't stand for it.
| Mayor Mcclellan of New York has ap-
| pointed a former milkman to take charge
Of the pumping station of the city water
works. Every milkrnan knows how water
works for the trade.
The printer ON the Adrian Democrat,
| when he went against a bunch Of Russo
| Japanese fighting names had a serious
case Of printers drop-a very insidious
disease in which the printer drops every
thing and rushes out for a stimulant.
| Dubuque, Iowa, saloonkeepers are do
ing away with the free lunch. This is
| tough on those wealthy Dubuque citizens
! who have an early dinner at home and
! who are not only abundantly satisfied but
| financially forwarded by the free lunch.
Yes said the pastor thoughtfully,
! Brother Smelkins certainly took a step
in the wrong direction last week. The
coal hole was left open and unguarded,
you know, and
! It is about time for Old Man Winter
to have his backbone put in splints.
How would you like to see a few vioIets
dottfng the greensward?
The surgeons could find nothing alb
normal about George Francis Train s
BRAIN If they had looked while George
Francis Trains mind was there they might
have found something that was a little
"off."
/ B1oemfontein, Of the former Orange Free
State was suffering from drought, and the
municipal and military authorities began
bombarding the clouds with heavy charges
Of dynamite in order to produce rain Gu
rious climatic conditions resulted The
heat became extreme, with unusual hui
nnidity of the atmosphere, until matters
eliminated in a terrific thunderstorm out
side Bloemfontein A rivulet runs thru
the town, lined on both sides with houses
and gardens reaching down to the water.
These were all swept away, to the number
of about three hundred. The mayor Of
Bloemfontein states that twenty persons
: at least have been drowned and three hun
bred rendered homeless. The estimated
damage Is 81, 900. O00 A notice should be
put up for weather tinkers reading:
"Don't shoot the clouds. They are doing
the best they cam "A. J. r.
Foyer Chae.
Charlotte Tittell and company began d
brief engagement at the Metropolitan last
night in 1.-THE Cavalier" a decentralization
! Of George w. Cables war novel The pro-
, duction will be reviewed in this column