davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12
SToRIETTES.

Champ Clark, OF Missouri. attend
ed exercises IN q kindergarten school,
the other day. Have any OF you ever
seen an elephants sakin?" Mr.. Clark
asked the youngster. II have"
shouted one little fellow "Whsre?"
asked Mr.. Clark, impressed with the
youngsters earnestness. ION the
elephant" he answered.
A new Southern story is going the
rounds, this time with the mountains
OF Virginia as the setting. A reviv-
alist VINO was holding meetings there
met man and asked him to attend
service that evening. The man re-
fused to promise, and the preacher
said: my brother, don't you ever
pray?" Nav" answered the villag-
err; Il carry a rabbits foot"
Two New York booksellers were
riding down town recently, and were
reading shop gossip in the news
papers. A Unlocking man sat
Just behind them "Now, this paper
his friend, places The Virsinian'
uISt, ME- WlBSb SeCOHu, duu----
"Gentlmen," interrupted the sporting
man. eagerly, excuse me for butting
In, but as I've followed this game
for years l know what I am saying.
That dope sheet you hold Is pure
fake. There are no such horses run
ming; take my word for it,
A short time befo.e his death, DIS
raeli sat for his portrait to Millais.
In his studio hung proof engrav-
ing of Gladstone, with his hands hang
ing down before him lightly clasped,
and an almost beatific expression on
his face. Millais observed that DIS
raeli's eyes were frequently bent upon
the portrait. At length he asked MN
IL he would accept a copy. Il was
rather shy Of offering it to you" he
apologetically added. Il should be
delighted to have It," said Disraeli
with what for him was an almost
eager manner; people think that
more or less through our political
lives l have disIiked Mr.. Gladstone.
To tell the truth, my only difficulty in
respect to him has been that study.
ing him from day to day and year
to year 1 could never understand
him -
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12
An ounce of contentment is worth
a pound of sadness to serve God with.

One of the last stories told to An
parture for Europe amused him great
ly. Don't give unless you really
feel you would enjoy doing So" said
a father to his son, who showed df3
position to shun the contribution-boX
for you know the Lord loyeth onl5
the cheerful giver." The boy was s
lent for a moment Then he blurte4
out: Gee, He must be dead stuck o.
Andrew Carnegie!"
The emperor of Korea has q tender
regard for his royal Jaw While gorg
ing himself at feast in his palace
a little bit of bone came between his
imperial grinders, and one tooth was
broken. The emperor promptly ssnl
to prison his cook and the entire kit
cnen force After few months. q
dentist appeared in King-Ki-Tao, thu
capital, and he inserted an artifcin
tooth, at an expense OF about $500
The kitchen attendants were then Sc,
at liberty, but the chef must serve
three months without pay.
We all have our trials at the tele
phone, but we do not usually heA,
"Centrals" opinion of us. A Sar
Fransico lawyer, who had been trying
for ten minutes or more without sue
cess to get the number he aked for
at last gave vent to his annoyance
in very strong language. His wife
who was standing near, said, persua'
sively, Let me try dear" Then
in gentle voice, which was intsn
tionally strong contrast to his ang
ry tones, she called. Hello, Central!
Her husband distinctly heard Cen
trail answer promptly, lust a nom
emit. madam. There Is a crazy man On
the line. Let me settle him first"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12

What is press censor, pop?"
"Why, a press censor, my son, is a
man who knows more than he thinks
other people should"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12

Mrs. Muggins-'T don't like the ex-
preston of her mouth" Mrs-"And
/ don't like the expressions Of her
tongue"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12

Attention Is called TO the card OF JJ. Stuckey OF
Des MOines. Iowa, one of the best known and most
successful pension attorneys In the country.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12

Self.made men generally act as
though they we're proud OF their job.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12


your husband met an accidental
death, did he not?' remarked the new
boarder. Yes" replied the landlady;
poor John tried to cross the street
one day and was autocuted"
How much better off a man would
be if he took his wife's advice!"
Yes" answered young Mrs. Torkins.
II have told Charley time and again
not to bet on horses that don't win.
But he will do it,"
John Barrymore was missing when
the "half-hour CALI was given at the
Criterion Theatre, the other evening.
AS time drew on for the rise OF the
curtain, the stage manager grew ner-
vous. for in The Dictator" Mr.. Bar
rymore is first on the stage. When
he did appear, carrying parcel done
up in a napkin, he told how it hap
pened. Ethel and went to So-and-
Sos for dinner" he said; "the thick
headed Dutchman that waited on us
was slow, and just as we were leav-
ing in he came with the steak. I
gave Ethel half, and brought the rest
with me-" And, opening his parcel,
he showed half sirloin steak and a
couple of baked potatoes, which he
proceeded to eat while he was dress
ing. Miss Barrymore, up at the Hud-
son, is supposed to- nave eaten her
dinner in the same unconventional
fashion ...
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12

sonny" said the good old man,
I'm surprised that you should tease
hat cat in that way" why, replied
he boy, pausing in his inhuman work,
do you know any better way?"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-05-12

L III tndt you IcdoC
hat cat in that way" why, replied
he boy, pausing in his inhuman work,
do you know any better way?'
A charitable young, lady, visiting
sick woman, inquired, with view to
| further relief, as to her family, She
| asked: rs your husband kind to
| you?" ooh, yes, miss, was the in
slant response. mes kind-very kind.
Indeed, you might say he's more like
a friend than husband"
| ----4----------
Congressman Livingston. of Geor-
gia, expresses amaZement at the cold
blooded way in which Republicans
consider public questions. They seem
to regard every conceivable subject
from a party standpoint" says Mr.
| Livingston; reminds me of a story
they tell about New York drummer
who died suddenly in an Atlanta no
tel. The coroner telegraphed to his
firm. saying: Your representative died
her to-day. | await your instructions.
In a few hours this answer came
back: Search his pockets for ofcers
Express his samples to New York
Give the body to a medical college,
Dr. Seward Webb was one of {
party of friends who listened to some
4 tall tales from young braggart. Their
Dr. Webb told a story of an adven
ture he had with a grizzly. 1t hap
pened in the Rockies, and eliminated
in the doctor being left defenseles
on the edge of high cliff, over which
his rifle had fallen and the bear
only six feet away. When he hat
reached this point of the story, DI
Webb paused, and appeared to hav
finished. Then the imaginative younl
man, who had been listening POP
eyed. broke in: ."Well?" he said;
well? Go on. What happened?'
DR.. Webb, looking him calmly in tn
eye, replied. The grizzly deyoure
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
GRAND D X. OF P

PEORIA. ILL.,. Oct. 1S.-Peoria is
gay with Pythian emblems in honor
of the grand lodge members of the
knights of Pythias of Illinois, whose
annual session will be held here dur
ing the next few days. The conclave
opens tonight with a banquet at the
Coliseum. for which preparations on
a most elaborate scale have been
completed. Fifteen hundred plates
will be laid II among the noted
guests will be Supreme Chancellor
Shiveley of Indiana and Vice-Su-
preme Chancellor Barnes, of Jackson
vile. The business sessions will be-
gin tomorrow. The most important
matter Of business before the meet
ing is the selection of a location for
the state home for aged and INDECENT
members of the rider. The bidders
for the institution include Canton,
Macomb. Kewanee and Galesburg.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18

N. A. Dunning Of Washington. d.
c., member of the national commit
tee of the peoples party. was in Spo-
kane yesterday and In the course of
an interview said:
II am here in the interest of the
peoples party and expect a large vote
for Watson and Tibbles in the west
tern states. On account Of continued
i'll health Mr.. Watson was unable to
make a western trip as he expected.
But Judge Tibbles, nominee for vice
president, came and is now in SOUTH
ern Idaho speaking. He will come
north on Wednesday and spend the
balance of the week in northern Ida
no. We shall hen go to Montana
for a few meetings and return to
Washington and make a few speeches
and then go to Nevada n spend
the balance of the campaign"
care you meeting with success?"
1--WE. are making rapid growth In
the eastern and middle states. Large
crowds attend our meetings there
uiiu We Siidii pun ~ NSlS AoiSO wv
Here in the west we are not making
the progress we would like. but under
the circumstances We are satisfied.
You know we have but few papers
and little money and should not ex-
pect very great results. Yet u old
members are again taking hold and
in a short time we will have u
party completely organized n ready
for effective work. We have only been
at work about 90 days n think we
have done extremely well. We have
electoral tickets in 80 states, and
state tickets In 21. besides congress-
men and county tickets In quite a
number. We will poll more votes for
Watson and Tibbles than was cast
for Weaver in 1892"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
PEOPLES PARTY AT WORk in THIS
CAMPAIGN

'Where will your votes come
from?'
I'VE will have the support of a
majority of those populists who went
out with the Bryan movement in
1896 and all the populists who re-
fused to join in that disastrous fu-
sion, and also a large majority OF
silver democrats who followed Mr..
Bryan in 1896 and 1900. These silver
democrats will not vote for Judge
Parker. Many Of them, I find in my
travels, will vote for Roosevelt and
I have been astonished at the num-
Der l have heard declare such to be
their Intentions. These men know
they have been betrayed by Mr.. Bry-
and and will follow his leadership no
longer"
What do you think of the cleo
tion?"
MIR. Roosevelt will carry every
northern state and perhaps Missouri
and Kentucky. Mr.. Parker will be
the worst beaten man since Greedy.
He absolutely has no show in the
coming election. The democratic
campaign looks like q crazy quilt
with Its conflicting isms and Sec
tional divisions and can not hope for
success. The peoples party hope to
carry Nevada. OF course, our votes
will come almost entirely from those
who supported Bryan and therefore
be a direct loss to the democratic
party. That party has 10 right to
complain. since it has through fusion
destroyed every reform party started
since the civil war. l am glad of it
and only wish hat our votes would
be sufficient to whip them as soundly
as they deserve. The democratic
party is not entitled to a single popu-
list or Bryan democratic vote and l
do not believe 1t will get many"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18

litical and personal motives seldom
influence the action of the school Of
icials. The city superintendent and
his corps of teachers are selected
solely for their peculiar qualifications
for a particular position. This is
equally true in the selection of prin-
cipaIs n professors in the state in
situations.
To their credit the chief executives,
regardless of party affiliations, have
insisted that all the educational in
situations of the state should be alb
solutely free from political or sec
tartan control. Governors Ferry, Nc
Graw, Rogers and Mcbride, in their
messages to the Legislature and by
their official acts. have recognized the
principle that the schools of the state
should be absolutely free from parti-
san domination. The association re-
solved:
For the same reasons that we
commend local school authorities and
state officials for indefinitely retain
ing competent men in the educational
work of the state without regard
to their political affiliations, the I'M
dersigned school men and others in
terested in educational work join in
endorsing the candidacy of r. b.
Bryan for reelection as superintend-
ent of public instruction.
1--WE believe that Mr.. Bryan has the
reSpeCt. confidence and c~O-OperatiOn
of the teachers of Washington; hat
he has served as superintendent for
two terms with credit to himself and
the state; that he is thoroughly ia
miliar with every detail of the vast
school interests of the state and
keenly alive to the responsibilities
of his office: that the welfare of the
public schools will be promoted by
the reelection of Mr.. Bryan"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
LUTHERAN LEAGUE.

ST. LOUIS, Mo-, Oct. 1S.-Delet
gates representing a membership Of
owe $4,000 young people throughout
the state are attending the eleventh
annual convention of the Pennsylva-
mia State Luther League, which be-
gan n two days session in Pittsburg
today. Reports of the several off,
GERS and committees show the league
to be in a fiourishing condition and
with ever-increasing membership.
The convention programme provides
for many excellent papers and ad-
dresses. The presiding officer is A.
Raymond Bard. of Reading.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
THE LIFE STRIKE
The workings OF the Human Body
Crippled.
DEATH TO MILLIoM8.
Kidney Disease II 0apptng the vigoY
OF Americas Manhood and Wom.
anhood-Waruer's safe Cure
the Only Certain Kid
ney Cure.

The Kidneys are by all odds the
most important rgans Of the human
body.
They virtually control all the other
organs.
Should they stop working for even
q few hours the blood would become
so thick and clogged with uric acid
and other deadly waste matter that
the most powerful heart would break
down In the effort to force it through
the veins.
The strongest lungs would collapse
trying to purify such poisonous blood.
Without pure. rich. red blood there
car be no health-no life.
It's true some Of us live for months
with sick Kidneys, but II Is just wait
ing for them to get a little worse
they never cure themselves.
Death is constantly hanging over
us. II comes instantly to thousands;
with warnings to many.
Backachs. headache. rheumatism.
sleeplessness, indigestion, etc, are
certain signs Of affected kidneys.
Health. though. we can never know
while h kidneys are out OF order.
There Is but one medicine that's At
to use for the kidneys-only one rem
edy that will positively purify.
strengthen and cure the kidneys with
out injury to the delicate tissues. 1t
Is Warmers Safe Cure. discovered
over 80 years ago and used ever since
by doctors In their families and prac-
tice. n in hospitals throughout the
world.
1t cures when everything else fails.
when you have given up hope and ex-
pect to die. The change for the bet
ter will come with the first few
doses.
All druggists sell 1t or can get 1t
for you.
Doctors advice and ms.ical book
let free. Warner Safe Cure Co.. Ro-
chester. N. Y.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
THE GREAT, new AND SURE CURE
FOR KIDNEY DISEASES


THE GREAT, new AND SURE CURE
FOR KIDNEY DISEASES
Disorder Of the Kidneys and Blad.
tism, Gravel, Pain in the Back. Blad-
der Disorder. Dropsy, etc. To allow
your little pain to grow, day after
day, will surely n quickly result In
some killing disease. No other organ
in the body has such direct effect on
the general health. See that you
keep them in good repair. Every
drop of blood is strained by them.
If they fail in their work, 1t will re-
suit in the accumulation of poisons
that cause rheumatism. urinary trou-
bles and many worse disorders often
ending in Briyhts disease. Only peo-
pie who have suffered from 1t know
how serious kidney trouble is. When
the kidneys are out of order the bal
ance of the constitution is deranged.
for the kidneys are the great flushing
tunnel of the body. Allow your kid
news to be out of order n your d.
gestion will be interfered with. the
rimples and blotches on the face, and
rheumatism and kindred ailments
will have full sway.
AS Brights Disease is the most
serious of all kidney diseases. h dis
covery of the cure for it means also
that all minor troubles are easily
gotten rid of.
If you have any kidney trouble
whatever start at once with a remedy
that is curing thousands and will
cure you.
The great New Cure-Hooper's
Parsley Kidney Pills-will stop the
pain and effect a cure quicker than
any other kidney medicine on the
market.
Your kidneys won't stand the ne
glect long-they've got their work to
do and must be made well quick, or
play out altogether.
Hopper's Parsley Kidney Pills are
endorsed by people everywhere. They
keep the kidneys working properly
and put them in a healthy condition.
Hooper's Parsley Kidney Pills will
regulate the organs and keep them in
a perfectly healthy condition. 1t
acts directly on the kidneys. and
cures by drawing out of the Blood
the poisonous Uric Acid. urates, Tith-
ates, etc, which cause the disease.
British Pharmacal Co. Milwaukee,
Wis. Distributors, It'll
Price SO cts. a box LNh44Z4XW
For sale by "
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
QUESTIONS FOR Mr.. TURNER
(From the Post-Intelligencer.)

Did you not denounce Gen. Jacob H. Smith, of the United
States army, as a monster in human FORM" and compare him with
the most infamous characters in history a worse than anyone Of
them? Did you not speak of him s guilty of 'te most brutal, fero-
cious and bloodthirsty at' of which there was any instance in the
history of the past 800 years?
Did you not speak of the American soldiers a s having been
guilty of cruel reprisals and bloody outrages upon the Fnipinos, and
did you not say, in explanations: The lust of blood affects hp as it
does all men whose trade is to shed blood?"
Have you ever made the personal acquaintance of any American
soldier afflicted with the lust Of b1ood?'
Did you not. from your sea- in the senate of the United States,
repeat a scandalous story and have it go into the record, to the eff
feet that American soldiers in the Philippines had. in cold blood. de-
lberately murdered 1000 Filipino prisoners, after first compelling
them to dig their own graves!
Did you not in the senate of the United States join with the
Democrats in endeavOring to sidetrack the oleomargarine bill, and
did you not fail to vote in favor of a measure $ o much desired by
the dairy farmers among your constituents?
Did you not say in your speech at Waitsburg last month that you
'believe the farmers did raise $500 for my services" in drafting the
Helm railway commission bill? Did the same farmers not also pay
you $1,000 to make your argument in favor of the bill? And did you
not say that If you made another speech you would have to have n
other thousand?
Did you not deny at watsburg that you had "maigned" Prest-
dent Mckinley, that the quotations from your speeches given in the
Republican press RI "garbled." and that you had denounced the ad-
minstraton but mot the president personality"
Did you not say in the United States senate on April 10, 1898:
Instead of striking as a courageous a and a bold a would
have done. instead of striking as a patriotic a would have done,
a course of conduct wa entered N by the executive which but for
my respect for the executive Office 1 would say was marked by evas-
ion. subterfuge and equivocation, having for it's primary purpose the
muzzling of congress"
Do you consider that such language as the preceding is not
"maligning the president personality
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
v 81 ADVICE.

When you have a cough or cold,
don't ask what is good for It and get
some medicine with little or no merit
and perhaps dangerous. Ask for
Foley's Honey and Tar. the greatest
throat and lung remedy: 1t cures
coughs and colds quickly. Sold by
Chas. McNab. <02 Riverside avenue
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
G CASE AGAIN.

WASHINGTON, D. c., Oct. 49,
appeal of August w. Machen and
his co-defendants in the p~ostoffice
conspiracy cas- came up for hearing
today. This is the case in which
Machen, Diller b. and Samuel Croft
and Geo. E. Lorenz, of Toledo. : O.,
were sentenced to two years in the
penitentiary and to pay a fine Of
100000.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18

state and national institutions.
At a meeting of Washington State
Teachers association held in Taco
ma in December. 1903, a resolution
was unanimously adopted by that
state and county superintendent
with sole reference to the best inter-
ests Of the children of the state.
In the selection of city superin-
tendents 1t is generally true that po-
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18

PROP. LEOPOLD sCHADE. In
struetor in Violin and Piano Music,
has established himself In Spokane.
Prof. Schade Is a graduate of the
Conservatory of Music at Souder-
hansen. Germany. Second floor Gran
tts block
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18

No danger of consumption If you
use Foley's Honey and Tar to cure
that stubborn cough. Sold by Chas.
McNab. 402 Riverside yer
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
PLEA FOR effective
SCHOOLS

A great many people do not think
the school system when they are
ment. yet the school Is one of the
greatest elements Of safety for our
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
BLOOD

IN account OF its frightful hideous-
hess, Blood Poisoning Is commonly
called the King OF All Diseases. It
may be either hereditary or contract
ed. Once the system is tainted with
II. the disease may manifest itself in
the form of Scrofula. Eczema, Rheu-
matic Pains. sim or Swollen Joints,
Eruptions or Copper Colored Spots ON
the Face or Body. little Ulcers in n
Mouth or on the Tongue, Sore Throat.
Swollen Tonsils. Falling out OF the
Hair or Eyebrows, and finally a Lep-
rous-like Decay of the Flesh and
Bones. If o have any OF these or
similar symptoms, get BROWNS
BLOOD CURE Immediately. This
treatment is practically the result of
life 1t contains 10 dangerous
drugs or injurious medicines OF any
kiu) 1t goes to the very bottom of
thfdisease and forces out e very par
ticle of %impurity. Soon Q, very sign
inc symptom disappears, implicitly
and forever. The blood. the tissues,
the flesh. the bones and the whole
system are ~cleansed. purified and re-
stored to perfect health. and the pa
tient prepared anew for the duties
and pleasures of life. BROWNS
BLOOD CURE. 81 90 "A bottle, lasts a
month. Made by DIR. BROWN, 935
s 4 :,: ;..,% e $: ,' sale @1&
POISON
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
Authorized by Republican Central
Committee of Spokane County
REPUBLICANS, are YOU REGISTERED?

Today is the last day on which a voter can regis
ter and qualify for casting his ballot on the 9Th of
November.
This evening will be the last chance. The Office
of the city clerk on the third floor of the city hall
will be open until 9 O'Clock to register voters. Many
have neglected to make this important step in prep
t%aration for election.
Go and register before you do another thing.
Dinner will wait until you have performed this
duty of citizenship.
If you have had dinner by the time this catches
your eye and you have not already registered, do
not delay one moment in getting to the clerks
Office.
You can not vote unless you are registered before
9 O'Clock tonight!
Register if you have had dinner!
Register if you havent!!
Register, no matter what may attempt to inter
fere with you'll!
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-10-18
SOUTHERN PACIFIC ANNOUNCES

Mimic War in California" is strik-
ingly described In October Sunset
Magazine. Articles by General Mac
Arthur and others. Beautiful colored
drawings. Many Industrial articles,
sketches. stories. etc. 10 cents from
all newsdealers.