Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-10-19
TRIBULATIONS OF A GREAT
GRANDFATHER.

Ticket-He Takes Issue with Young
Alton Upon Nearly Every Point, but
Finally Succumbs to Drowsiness
and Is Put to Bed.
Elkins, Sept. %.
Dear Sonny:
don't know what's the matter with
me. / can't seem to recollect anything
that has happened since | made my pro-
lection speech in the Senate in 1888.
That was the greatest effort of my-or
my stenographer's-life
When l went upstairs last night
forgot what had gone for and had
TO call my boy, Steve Elkins, up to tell
me- Quicker'n shootin' he pointed to
the bed and began helpin' me off with
my Congress CATERS. That's jest like
Republican, thinkin' Of what we ought
to think Of first and doin' what we amt
got git-up-and-git enough to do for our
selves.
And now few words about your let
ter of acceptance. Don't git hot under
the collar if an old man of so takes
the privilege of speakin' his mind.
You begin by talkin' about centraliza-
ton. Where have you been living the
last forty years? Don't you know that
the principle that the Union is bigger
than any Of it's parts was settled by the
war, when l laid the foundations of
my fortune sellin' horses to the Federal
army?
Don't fash yourself about some youth
ful Napoleon usurpin' any dangerous au-
thority over the 80,000,O0O American
sovereigns. They all know their rights
as well as Dave Hill, and KNOWN, dare
maintain them, without the consent of
any other nation, as your friend of '96
and 1900, Billy Bryan, would say.
What's this thing imperialism" you
talk so much about? In my opinion it's
all tommyret. There's no more impe-
rialism IN the United States than in
the knothole stuffed with the clay Of
imperial Caesar.
You make me weary when you talk
about the President of the United States
developing snch tremendous power "from
year to year until it almost equals that
of many monarchs." What sort of small
potatoes do you take the President of
this republic for? You may think he
is of no more account than the King
of Greece or the Akoond of Swat, but
at my age I'm not runnin' for the remote
chance of succeedin' to an Office no big
ger than some hop O. my thumb might
get by accident.
Don't yon know that if we follow s'the
footsteps Of our fathers" we must march
toward the past? Following the foot
steps of ancestors can only lead to the
cradle or the tomb. And though they
say that / ana in my second childhood
and have one foot in the grave, prefer
standin' in the footsteps of the livin' to
followin' the footsteps Of the dead.
Act-act in the living present!
Heart within, and God O'erhead
has always been the motto of your as
pirin' Uncle Gassaway.
Talk of lust of power. What are we
in this race for? / never lusted for any
thing as | lust after the presidency
of the Senate, with reversionary inter-
est in the Presidency of the United
States.
Your ideas on the tariff are as hazy as
the vision of a six-day-old steer. Here's
what said in 1883, and it's good doc
trine yet:
am for a tariff that will yield sufficient
revenue for the economical and proper ex-
penditures of the government, and in that
tariff 1 believe incidental protection to our
Industries is right and proper
If a tariff for protection is robbery,
to the penitentiary with the whole outfit!
We can't cezen the people by denouncin'
the crime while supportin' the govern
ment on the swag.
see you have logged in the old chest
nut about protection building up ''the
business and property of the few at the
expense of the many" Don't you know
that property and wealth in the United
States was never as widely distributed
as to-day? that in all industries more
than go per cent of the gross income
goes to the wage-earners, and that the
wage-earners are our only true imperial
lists?
l notice with qualification that you
sidestep in regard to trusts.
was deeply affected by your reference
ito our martyred President William
Mckinley" Let me recommend his care
fully thought-out policies to your study
and adoption. Otherwise this appreci-
alton of the dead leader will rebound to
the honor and glory of his young sue
VeSSOE III the w ulue house, VINO mas not
Swerved a hairs breadth from the chart
laid down for him by William McKin-
ley.
What do you mean by ''tolerating
tyranny" in the Philippines? Who's
playin' Andy Jackson over there?
Do you know the record of our Dem
ocratic Congressman ON the subject of
civil service--how they have persistent
ly voted to withhold the appropriations
necessary to the administration of the
statute? Alton, if we can't be elected,
let us be honest.
You talk about ''the Executive acquir-
ing the Panama route and rights" Don't
you know that these were acquired by
the government, and not by the execu-
tive? The Senate ratified the treaty and
Congress appropriated the money to
clinch the opportunity to do what you
say ''has long been the hope of our
statesmen, to-wit, dig the canal?' If you
are in earnest about the right to dig hav-
in been wrongfully obtained, why don't
you urge its Remuneration? There are
still revolutionists on the isthmus who
yn11II Al -