davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
SUBSTITUTES FOR OATHS.
Society For Suppression of Profanity
May Have Little List.

One of the most probable results OF
the work of the Society for the Sup
preston of Profane and Obscene Ian
guage in London is the compilation
of a dictionary of Substitutes.
There are occasions when even the
mildest, best-tempered person finds It
absolutely necessary to mark abnor-
NAL events by the use of abnormal
language Mrs. Malaprop, it will be
remembered, found the .'blessed word
Mesopotamia' of great benefit at
times.
1t is easy to imagine that cab
man who wished to express his con-
tempt for a fare would be delighted
to be able to say, You humbump-
tio,ls, coruscating. slantdicular ferri-
cadourer.'
The classic instance of the triumph
which may be achieved by the use OF
such language is that of Daniel
O'Coonell. who effectual1y ended a
flow of terrible language from an
irish applewoman by telling her that
she was a rectangular paralleo-
gram
The poor woman gasped for breath
and then crawled home and died OF
broken heart.
Even the lowest rufian would pause
if called 4 parallelopid or an obtuse-
anglcd rhombOld. The term isosceles
triangle has at times been used with
paralyzicg effect.
There are occasions, too, when
women want to use strong expressions
that might merely be considered Vul-
gar IN excellent smile for IAN ugly
cat is "a plain superflcies.'
For general use tie more recontiite
oaths Of the Middle Ages might be re-
vived
People would i-lstinctive1E select
from The dictionary the appropriate
word They would have their choice
Of: Wei, I'm jiggercl; DDS bodkins;
Gosh; Jumping Jehosopllat; Scissors;
Tare an Guns; Tamation; Wirroo;
BY James, and a whole host OF learn
ed, loose ioiutcd, scientific words.
There is q fortune-OI at least
modest competency-aW waiting the lex
ico2rapiler who shall compile the COM
pletc dictionary of subsCiLutes.-Lon
don Express.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
E;ts OF Korean Wisdom.

The Boston Transcript prints the
following Korean proverbs and say
ings, which afford an interesting in
sight into their modes Of thought and
illustrate the intellectual aptitude and
power Of observation OF the people:
4 thing is good when IL is new.
y man is good When he is old.
He who hath eaten salt Grlnileth
water
One can paint the fur of a tiger, but
,nor his joints.
One knows the face of a man, but
not mis- interior.
If one is not observing one sees
nothing.
Even the blind man can find his way
through an open door.
When the tiger is gone the fox is
master.
AS soon as the moon is full it begins
10 grow smaller.
The higher The mountain the deep
or the valley.
Does smoke come out OF a ireless
chimney?
Even a hedgehog says his young
ones are weak.
\ single high wheat stalk is not dis.
tinguished from the rest in the field
\ basketful OF gold is not so val
liable for a son as Instruction in one
of the classics.
II is only the thirsty who dig
we'll.
When the OK has broken through
th, stall repairs are first made.
4 family who has no sickness for
ten years must be rich.-New York
Sun.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

"a purple hip and tai, while beyond the
tender still another, IN soft apricot
pink and With dull blush head, is
apparently baying a rising yellow
moon Off to one side membersof5
The drove has lain down to sleep,
clothed upon with a soft, dreamy, ash
es-ofroses tint and a contented smile.
OF course, there may be hogs just,
like those somewhere in the world, or
maybe other lands have more beauti-
fving sunsets than here are ever seen,
or maybe the painter is an optimlst
and sees only the bright side OF even
hogs and they really appear that way
to hinl. but more than likely the pic
t,1re is such high art that common
nortals cannot appreciate it. The
noncornrnitta pose Of the swine ten
der may be interpreted to mean eth
er that he regards with complacent
contentment his nasturtium-colorec
drove or else is plunged into apathet!c
despair because they went and fell in
to Somebody's dyeing watts.
GENEVA LANE,
In st. Louis Globe Democrat.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
The Aristoc.-acy OF Pork.

When Theodore Parker first visited
Cincinnati. at that time the recognized
leader among western cities he said
that he had made q great discovery
namely, that while the AriStOcracy OF
Cincinnati was unGucstlona found
ed on pork it made great difference
whether 4 man killed pigs for himself
or whether his father had killed them.
The one was held pi"bcian, the other
patrician. 1t was the difference. Par
l>cr said, between the stick ems and
the stuck en-. and his own STmpa-
thics, he confessed. were with the
present tcnsc.-T. w. llGginSon IN
Atlantic Monthly.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

Is aIr. Cleverly-I have a great joke on
my wife. I've just bought her a hat
for So and had it sent home with 4
fifteen dollar mark on it. She'll never
know the difference. Mrs. Clevcry
dear, I guess l would
better buy my own hats after this
could have done a good deal better
for $40. You've been awful!y cheat
NNhy,$I saw this very same hat IL the
window with 4 five dollar mark on it
Detroit Free Press.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
5rractica, pcmoE.str.tIor,.

ss an encanlpment of British troops
In the East Indies one of the officers
had a horse stolen, but the thief, miss
ing his vay.zwaS detected and brought
back The next morning the officer
sinquired how he had got possession. OF
The horse. The man replied that lie
could not vel tell his honor, but would
be pleased to show him NOW said
Ihe,Se.t1is is how crawled over tie
ssrooGs. The next thing was to loosen
the ropes behind then clapped ::
halter over the neck Tins ''.Adinira
bier. said the officer. IN this ma nl,c".
SIR observe jumped upon his back"
He then gave the horse 4 smart cut
with a Whip. put him to full speed and
carried him clear Off. to the mortiGc;-
ton of the astonished owner.-London
Chronicle
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
POEIal..BU RNS.l
a Criticism Which Appeared In the
Edinburs:h Mn ssazine In l5SG. 80

IA Criticism Which Appeared - n fAe4
Edinburgh Mn Enzine In 15SG. 5#s14,33
The following brief criticism on the
poems Of Burns appeared in the Edin-3
.5urgh Magazine, October, 1876, short
sly after the second edition Of his works
came out: THE author is indeed a
striking example of native genius
bursting through the obscurities of
poverty and the distinctions Of la
boriolls life. lie is said to be com
mon plowman, and when we consider
him in this light we cannot help res
GREETING that wayward fate had not
placed him In a more favored situation.
Those who view with the severity OF
Icttcred criticism and Judge by the
fastidious rules of art viii discover
that he has not the Doric simplicity OF
Ramsey nor the brilliant imagination
of Ferguson, but to those who admire
the exertions of 1lntutored fancy ana
are blind to many faults for the sake
of mum erlcss beauties his poems will
afford singular qualification. His OBJ
servations on human characters are
acute and sagacious, and his descrip-
lions are lively and just. OF rustic
pleasantly he has q rich fund, and
some of his softer scenes are touched
with inimitable delicacy. He seems
to be u boon companion and often
startles us with sentiments which Will
keep some readers at q distance. Some
of bis subjects are serious, but those
OF the humorous kind are the best"
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
TWO COMPOSERS.
sEsomsini Was nm Easy Worker, "hdls
s4saa@s8Atexerbeer yVns Strenuous.

Giacorno N1eyerbeer went at every
thing ferociously. The work of COM
posing: made him restless, cXcltable
and caused him many sleepless nights
This condition was always worst in
the spring of the year. He did his best
work when the wind howled, the rain
poured down in torrents and humanity
generally sought refuge indoors. Dur
ing such natural upheayals the great
in his element. Deiu@cI
with ideas, his fingers charmed from
the piano the rareSt and most wonder
full melruies
:5S5 Compared to S1eyerbeer, Rossini was
easy worker and always ready with
his pen Some of his most charming
com positions originated under the most
circumstances. One Gay
while the composer was still abet! en-
pertaining few friends the poet To-
brought him the words to the cclc~
brafed prayer song in - Moses Kos
asIni read the text. and the poet. fear
ing some sarcastic remarks on the part
sof The former, said, 1T took me an
hour to write these verses
hour. to write such verses:
cried HRessini: III set them to music
in u quarter Of an hour
iis.. Ie nsked for pen and paper, and in
ten minutes, while his friends cllafscI
Tie author, the great maestro wrote
that iniuaitable prayer song in his OPP
era. : loses
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
r.kzeE 70 Chances.

s58 - YcaEny Scot got on q tramcar. in
tending to make the full journey cost
ing 3 pence, but. only took Q penny
ticket and renewed it twice at the end
OF each stage On the last stage TIE
conductor demonstrated with him, say
he ought to have taken out Il threcpef-
ny Ticket at the beginning of his jour
Rey ana saved Unnecessary trouble.
.'Na, na,'' said the Scot HAD I dune
sac and yer cable had broken doun l
michtshae lost ma thruppcnce: but. rs
it lis. Gamma lose MAR than ae penny"
london Standard.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
Japanese are Good Neishbors.

NEW HAVEN, Conn, May O.
Professor George T. Ladd, head OF the
Department of Philosophy in Yale, a
warm friend of the japanese, was ask
ed this question yesterday:
do you know that Japanese sue sue
cess would eventually imperil our stay
in the Philippines?
mo" he replied, The Japanese will
be very good Sneighbors- ~.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

II is said thar 4 leader of fashion
was once driving in the park when her
hat was blown Off The carriage wheels
passing over it made it Il fearful and
wonderful shape. but as the Wearer
could afford to defy criticism she put
it on and calmly continued her drive.
The next week dozens of hats exactly
like the dana gcd one appeared This
story may be true, but it sounds like
q mere, malicious, masculine inVen-
tion.-London Woman.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
OLD TINE COFFEE.
The Way to Brew the R<.--cr,,s:c
They Did Ia tGt:.-


They Did In tGt:2-
An Old cookbook. published III 1862
gives what is perhaps the first English
recipe foi. coffee The recipe reads:
TO make the drink that is now
much used. called coffee:
Tho. coffee berries are to ljc bought
at any druggists. about &hillinGs the
pound. Take NlI;lt quantity you please,
and over q charcoal fire in an old fry
ing pan keep them always stirring I'M
I'll they BE quite black, and when you
crack enc with YOUR teeth that it IS
black within rs It is without. yet If
YOU exceed, then do not waste the
Owl and if less. then win it not Dc
liver its Cyl. and il YOU should CON
TIME fire till it be white it viii then
make no coffee, but only give you its
salt. Ecat ana force through Il lawn
sieve.
Take clear water and boil onr-thlrd
of it away, and it is lit for use Take
one quart OF this prepare! water, put
it III one ounce of your prepared cGl-
fee and boil il gently one hour. and
it is for your Use Drink one quar-
ter of 4 pint as hot as you can sip II.
It doth abatc the, fury and sharpness
of the Acriluouy, which is til" Gender
of the Diseases called Crnnical-
Boston Cooking School Magazine
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
ENGlisAMEN OF GENIUS.
Some Statistics ns Their Origin
md Length Of Lie.


and Length OF Life.
Havelock Ellis studies of the origin
and habits Of the British men of gem
1us show that most came from bust
ness life, many from good families
so called, and few from the clerical
profession. OF 1O3 men OF e1ninence IN
ten centuries thirteen were the sons or
carpenters, five Of shoemakers, live OF
weavers and four Of blacksmiths.
Browning's father was a clerk, and SO
was BradlauGh's; Turner's was 4 bar
Der, Carlyle's 4 mason, I1uSley's n
schoolmastcr, Keats 4 livery stable
man, Knoy's peasant Wolsey's
graZicr and WEitetield's an innSccper-
Men of genius are long lived. OF
those on Mr.. Ellis list more died be-
tween sixty-fivc and sevcnty-five than
in any other period. Those living be-
yond sevcnty-five numbered 23O, those
beyond eighty 13O, and twenty lived
past ninety.
y genius is not often an only son.
He is more likely to spring from
large faI,liy Nor is he often the son
CT a distinguished father. Tie is some
times a tall man. Twcnty-Six instances
are cited of great men who were six
footers and over. Among them are
Darwin. NIillaiS. Sir Walter Scott, Ten
nyson, Borrow, Tha clzcray and Field
~
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
DoEb1e Measure of joy.

SSs.--tBut your hero and heroine get mar
fried in the middle Of the story How
do You expect the public to keep on
being interested in q book like that"
sS$s g All" said the new author, but they
get divorced in the last chapter and
live happily ever after. So, You see,
the render is made twice glad for one
price Of admission!'-Ch Record
Herald.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

A1aud-Isnt the man you are en-
gagged to 4 SPECTATOR?
Clara-No, indeed. He's financ1er.
''How do you know
''He didn't buy the engagement ring
until after had accepted him."
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
f.. MI. AND p. BRAN CH.

ARRIVES.
No. 5O.-Pittsburg Accom'n LOOP. M
No. 4.-Pittsburg Accom'n 9:45 P. NJ
DEPARTS.
No :3.-Pittsburg Accom'n $50 a. M.
No. 5l.-Conellsville Ac'm 2:1O P. M.
No. 50 leaves daily for Morgantown
at sos 2. NJ. No. 81 arrives from Nor
gantown at 6:55 y. NJ. d ally except Sun
day: at 500 A. NJ. Sunday only.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

Have you friend who does well and
with whom you occasionally find FAULT
becau use he doesn't do better? This is
the meanest meanness in the world,
Atchtson Globe.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09
, The Hatter,s Comment,

1ss$ How gracefully young Skivett
raises his hat
ssssE wish he could raise the price of
The hat half as gracefully" -Cleveland
Plain Dealer
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

to be pretty smooth. ysE Is
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

That the Fair vii! be all things TO all
men is nowhere so well demonstrated
as in the art galleries for there are
pictures to suit all tastes.
Fol. those who like simple, every
day things there are such scenes as
covered haystacks outlined
against a Chilly winter sky. and in all
the, wide. white fields about there is
no sign Of life except where a flock OF
sparrows have alighted on the snow
in the Foreground
Another simple scene shows a skill
fully painted autumn woods with a
lcaf-sIreWn path, beside which man
is tying up bundle of faGots, while
a little girl stands @ravely watching
him.. This easily understood picture
is matched by hundreds OF the same
kind. from that ola honlelE fisherman
mcnding his nets to that of an Old man
sitting beside his sinply-spread table
out under the-treeS and idly feeding
a wandering brown hen.
In vide contrast TO such pictures as
these there is one specimen of the i'm
pressiOnist school that one finds 1t
hard to understand, unless it be meant
to show how a beautiful sunset can
sorify even so commonplace thing
as a drove of hogs On some sparsely-
covered rocks against a dark-blue sky
ragged swine tender leans easily
on a long staff, while his face Slows
a fiery orange in the sunset. About
his feet his lean, homely charges clus-
ter and on them the gorgeous sun
set gets in it's best work, and they
shine in colors rivaling those Of the
rainbow One of them especially re-
ceives the sunset glow broadside on
and fairly palpitates with a fiery yell
low shading through red to burnt
orange tint. Another is a symphony
in pronounced canary yellows, but has
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

WEST BOUND.
No. 7.-Chicago Express. 1928 ~. NJ.
No. 5.-Wheeling Accom-
mod alton. TAT A. NJ.
No. 55.-Wheeling s. Gin
CHM att Express. 1929 P. NJ.
No. 7l.-Wheeling Accom-
mod alton. 1:36 P. NJ.
EAST BOUND.
No. S-New York. Balti-
more and w ash
ingtOn Express. $50 a. M.
No. 12.-GraftOn Account 1898 A. M.
No 46-New York. Balti-
more and Wash
ington Express. Las P. M.
No i-GraftOn AccOmn S:3S P. NJ.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

oIdtSS anu 'otdtS VI w eSt5F IL = 1H4d' 40
J. NJ HARTLEY, President.
Hon. A. b FLEMING,
Vice President
JOS. E. SANDS, Cashier
DIRECTORS.
J. NJ. Hartley, Hon. a. B. Fleming,
Benz. D. Fleming. VIM. E. Watson,
Jos. E. Sands.
Chartered as State Bank ins1S51.
Organized as National Bank in 1868.
Rechartered as National Bank in
1885.
= Wants business based on balances
and responsibility.
Collects on all points.
Sells domestic and foreign exchange:
Pays interest on special deposits.
Customers private boxes taken care
of in our fire and burglar proof vault
free Of charge.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-09

Designated Depositary of the United
States and State of West Virginia.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-06-24

There will be a big sale at Turn bulls to-morrow. Patrons going to the big department store will get free stamps by cutting coupon from big ad.
 To be comfortable during the warm spell and hot days the right kind of underwear must be worn. Upson, Sin gleton & Go have the kinds you want and this week have put in their South Main street store over six hundred gar ments to be sold at % cents each.
 Benjamin Wood of New York leaves Waterbury tomorrow morning after a two weeks vacation with his aunt and uncle, MT and Mrs William Whit taker of 815 East Main street. He will accompany his uncle's brother, Alexander Whitaker of Waterbury, as far as New York on his three months vacation to Europe. There will be a surprise party on both young men tonight.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-06-24
EVENTS
Entertainments, Fairs, SociabIeS of local Interest
.I! l |

June 24.-Concert by Ortone Ma ripe band at Bank street lot.
 June 24-Second annual commence ment of St Thomas's school. City hall.
 June 24-Leap year party by the young ladies of Brooklyn at B. A. O.. haII
 June 24-Dance by North End A. o.. at their hall. corner North Vine and Division streets.
 June 25.-Private reception given by the Acorn Athletic club at Acad- emy hail.
 June 30.-Shirt waist dance by the pupils of Miss Reeds academy at K. of c. hall.
 July 2-Carnival. Picnic and Ath- 1etic sports by Go B. First ReGt, Hi bernian Rifles at the Driving park.
 July 4-Excursion by the Brooklyn Athletic Club to Savin Rock and the White City
 July 4-second grand carnival and picnic given by South End S. O. and Waterbury Driving association at Driving park; horse racing and athletic sports.
 July 28 %, Midsummer bazaar for the benefit of St John of the Cross mission at town hall, Middlebury. August 15-Festival by yittorio Elm manuele II Society at Driving park.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-06-24
HALF DOLLAR SALE
Brass City Liquor (

PAsTERNAK BRCS. Props. e13 South Main St, opposite Grand. Branch 29s Bank St. near R. R. depot \. Bio tickets with each purchase of any bottle in the above list for one case Of Jas E. Pepper and one case of Wilson Whistles, which will be drawn July ?. 1904
 Ladies' entrance around Union street, see sign Brass City"
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-06-24
Did You

see the temperance parade few days ago? To be sure you did. There was h body of tea and coffee drinkers ana you wouldn't have to be told so; glance at them would tell you so. Now that's the appearance all of us should have and by drinking good Tea ana Coffee (the kind we selD will make you look as good and feel as good as they did. There was only one thing happened during the day to mar the pleasure and we've been told the pest band in the state started to give us q concert on the green" but when they got onto the bandstand they were routed and told to move on as if they were n gang of curbstone orators. Now. if this story is true, we do. not think the fellows who moved them on drink the kind of Tea or Coffee we sell. Remember, we claim our Tea and Coffee is a splendid brain tonic as well as soothing to the nerves and people who do not think so should buy some and see for them selves. This week we give well made lunch box or four bars of ex- cellent soap with each pound of our warranted good 50c Tea or a shop ping bag with a pound of our fresh roasted fiTle tasting Coffee (wfth or without chicory) and we have dropped our Butter two cents per pound: that means you can buy the hest tub But ter. AND TT IS BUTTER, for g cents at
 Phelan's T Store.
 xc East Main st. relephc.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-06-24
TheMiIIeT &PGCk Go Specials in HOuSefur niShing Department
 for Saturday.

At 23c, Large Galvanized or Enameled Watering Pots. At 17c, 10 and 12 quart Galvanized Fails. At 23c, Galvanized Refrigerator Pans. At $2.19, Universal American Wiring CTS At $2.39, American Bench Wringers. At 45c, Universal Clothes Dryers. At 25c, Pressing and Sleeve Boards. At 39c dozen, Thin Blown Table Plumbers. At s35c set of pieces. Large Berry Dish and 8 Individual Dishes. At 49c, quart Thin Pitchers. At $1.39, Large Aurora Punch Bowls. At 19c dozen, Table Plumbers. At 10c, 15 inch Rose Vases.
 LAWN MOWERS. At SPAS, blade High Wheel Mowers. At $2.9S, 4 blade Mowers; both fully guaranteed.
 SOAPS AND POWDERS. At 25c, 9 bars Laundry Soap. At 25c, 10 bars White Soap At 7c, Boraxine Washing Powder. At 15c, Grandma's Washing Powder.
 TAHs AND COBFEEs. At 13c. 2 lbs for 25c. Arbuckle Bros Coffee.
 At 29c, Old Government Java Coffee. At 25c, Mocha and Java Blended Cof- fee.
 At 25c, Formosa Oolong Tea. At 39c, Black and Green Formosa and Young Hyson Tea. At 5Oc, Formosa Oolong Black Tea
The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1904-05-03

ness in the committee at the opening
of the next session.
The interstate commerce commits
sion recently sent to the senate. in re-
Spouse to a resolution of inquiry, a
statement showing the result of con-
unuous advances made in. freight rates,
from Washington by u" secretary of
our committee, from which it appears
that the average rat on the entire
traffic of the country has increased
12&4 cents per ton since the year 1900.
resulting in an in, rease in freight
charges, during the past three years.
Of over $500, OOG. 600 in excess of what
they would have been at the rates pre-
ViOusly charged, the increase in the
last year alone having been over $155,-
900. That so large an advance is
unnecessary and unWarranted is APP
parent from the fact that the net earn
ings for the past three years show an
increase of over $153, 000.0 900, with only
a slight increase in mileage.
The increase resulting from ad-
Vances in rates on few leading COM
modities, in what is termed official
classification territory" alone, for the
year ending June 80 1903, is given as
follows: Hay, nearly s. 800 600: sugar