Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-11-26
DR.. BLAZER.
BIZ MAX ADELER.

referring TO the late resident physician
of the institution. He hadn't the quail
l dcations."
How do you meant"
| why, he'd get interested in anoyelor
something, maybe. and he'd sit up there
10 his room and never go near the pau
lers And when I'd ask him If he wasn't
going to see the sick ones to-day, he'd
look up, and say:
I'm not very well myself this morn
/ Ing james; s'posin' you just step over
] and put mustard plasterg ON the entire
Institution
/ so I'd have to obey orders, you know,
and I'd plaster up the whole crowd, sick
and well and pretty soon you could hear
those paupers bowling worse than,
menagerie, and see 'em hopping about
as If they were dancing plain cotillions.
/ But they had to bear 1t. Doctors orders,
you know; and there he'd sit and read.
and read, and read, until he learned il
the heroine got married or not; and the
plasters couldn't come off till he said SO.
1t was awful"
WAS he always that way?"
Not always, of course. Sometimes
he'd practice on the paupers to find out
the effect of medicines. One time he
ladled out bucketful OF paregoric
among the inmates, and put the whole
crowd to sleep for five days. Never
walked up once. II was like graveyard,
only the snoring. A short time after
ward he gave them ipecac. and for week
there were IS paupers going around with
asthma, wheeling like an omnibus horse
with the heaves; and last September he
trepanned three bald-headed paupers,
and set brass door plates In the top of
their skulls. Nothing at all the matter
with them, only he said he thought they
would look nice with lids on the top of
them, and he wanted to keep his hand in
practice for the operation"
did the victims like lit"
Like it? Certainly they didn't. But
he was allowed by the directors to do
what he pleased.
"One time, when he wanted a bone for
something or other, he took rib out
of the side of a tramp from Mauch
Chunk. Said the operation was neces-
bdi W hCOP tHC lIdh liOAh 6oAA6 ANU
consumption. He had the rib made up
into suspender buttons, suspect. And
he used to experiment with TRANSMISSION
of blood, too. He would take blood
from an Irishman, and put 1t into the
veins OF German, and vice versa, un-
til the Irishman at last could speak
nothing but German, and the German
talked with brogue. Always trying
some ridiculous plan or other. never
saw such man.
"Was he successful In his practice?"
THAT depends on what you call sue
eessful. II a man was real sick, and the
nurse would go for DR.. Blazer, the man
would send off farewell message to
his relations, tell where he'd like to be
buried, say his last words, and make up
his mind for the worst. He'd fit off be-
fore morning. In serious cases the doc
tor was regarded as certain death
around here. | know when / told the
county undertaken that he was going to
leave, the undertaken sat down ana cried
like child. Said it wasn't right to take
the bread out of mans mouth in such
Aal llAuCo Do lnCoC. AiC 6ob SO IluNA
for every burial, you know. And one Of
the directors voted straight along not
to dismiss DR.. Blazer, because, the d.
rector said, there was too many paupers,
anyhow, and, If the number could be
steadily reduced by legal means, 1t would
be good thing for the taxpayers. Do
you know what | think? | think I'd
rather have Asiatic cholera in my fam
lily than to take DR.. Blazer as boarder.
It's not half so deadly"
why was he discharged?"
why, I'll tell you. 1t seems that he
| was partner of one of the contractors for
| furnishing the poorhouse with victuals.
He kept 1t secret; but we all noticed
that he used to go around with kind
| of two-horse power, double-acting
stomach-pump. About three days in the
right after breakfast, and pump out
every pauper. clear through to ward
number eight. Consequence was, the
inmates would be so raging hungry by
dinner time that they'd eat like anacon-
das. After dinner, outd come that
pump again, and by supper time the in
\
mates would be willing to eat paving
stones or brickbats. they'd be SO near
starved. And 80 he'd go on, until the
commissary departmental be bank
rupted every "a hours. believe that
man could have pumped out the whole
Russian army In day with that ma
chine. II used to turn some of the
| feebler paupers nearly wrongside out
| So the directors began to inquire what
made the expenses so heavy, and, when
they called the doctor up about it, he
owned up, and Mr.. Perkins said that, as
three more weeks of that stomach pump
would put the county treasury into the
hands of a receiver, unless it could in
cur a second national debt, he thought
the doctor had better go. So he was
dismissed"
Left. did he?"
Yes, left. And the morning he was
- A.