Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1904-03-30
SHORT STORY FOR
EVENING HOURS
REASONING WITH A WOMAN

steps in the treacnerous trail OF Pol.
ly's ruffies.
"Of course l do" exclaimed Polly
emphatically.
And yet you won't listen to rea.
son." argued.
Not when there can't be any rea.
son, Mr.. Heavyfather," said Polly sc.
verely, turning to gather her rufiles up
daintilyinto a bunch.
IF | had lied" I began, plotting
her carefully through the mud on the
tips of her patent leather toes.
II would have despised you, Mr..
Heavyfeather."
And now that I haven't lied"
81 don't believe you!"
I struck at passing dog viciously,
with my cane.
That's Just the way with a won.
AM" declared. There Is no use try.
ing to reason with her. She always
makes up her mind in advance, any.
how"
she has eyes-and common sense,
Mr.. Heavyfeather."
And you can't get a word in edge
wise"
Not II you don't know what you
want to say"
And she interrupts just as you are
getting started"
"Oh. were you getting started?" Pol.
ly lifted her eyebrows in gentle sur.
prise.
And twists every word you say"
grumbled.
you are very much mistaken" de.
that felt as though ought to run
and head her of; "a woman Is always
willing to listen to reason even when
! 1t isn't reasonable, or to an excuse that
isn't even excusable. What she Is dy>
ing to hear is something the least bit
convincing and rational that will clear
I the man whom she loves Of having
done anything wrong"
81 haven't done anything wrong!" I
grumbled defiantly.
But" went on Polly, ignoring my
expostulation, there never was man
living who knew how to argue with o
woman"
"The average man hates an argu.
ment," l asserted.
And invariably" agreed Polly,
"either tries to slip out Of 1t or to bull.
ly the woman into submission with
swear-words instead Of explanations.
II he doesn't tell falsehood, he Is
sure to say the wrong thing. Just
when q woman's heart Is aching for
balm he gives her pepper and chill
sauce. Just when he should confess
all and ask to be forgiven and appeal
to her sympathy. he gets up on the
defensive and stands there like Marc
Antony daring the Romans to come
on. Just when he should be warm and
gentle and forget and forgive, and all
that he hunts out his dignity and
wraps himself in It until until he is
about as approachable as an Indian
war chief or-or a cannibal-"
THE cannibals," interrupted,
Seemed to be the only men who ever
did know how to argue with a woman
effectively. They used a club, I be.
lieve, and settled the dispute with q
single blow"
"Oh, WELL" said Polly, that was all
right in those days. They didn't have
any divorce courts to help them settle
things further, you know"
NO. ! reflected, that's so; nor
boxes of candy and punches of violets
and scented note paper and messenger
boys. They had to come right up to
the situation and face 1t themselves,
without the florist and the United
States mail to help them out"
Polly glanced at me sideways, with.
eringly.
"A girl she remarked coolly, "who
would consider a box of candy an ar
gument, is not--worth the price OF the
argument"
"Oh, ] didn't mean" said |, depre-
catingly, that any woman worth buy
ing could be bought over. only
meant that women are like babies.
Remove the cause of their unhappi-
ness, be II bent pin-or another wo.
man-and then give them something
pretty and attractive-candy or fiat.
tery-to distract them, and they forget.
The best way to reason with woman
Is not to argue with her. Don't try to
prove to her that two and two make
four; just agree with her that they
make five or seventeen, and then tell
her how pretty she looks when she's
angry, or how much you wanted to see
her when you had to go to dinner with
the other woman or how much you
love her"
That" said Polly, "is another mas
culine method Of convincing a woman.
Why Is 1t man never seems to want
to tell why he did thing?"
Because" ! replied, usually he
does not know why he did It, Besides,
you can't tell woman that you broke
your, promise to her because another
woman looked particularly pretty"
Il suppose not" said Polly "or that