Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-08-20
POTTER'S C%OURTSHIP.
BY MAX ADELER.

"a 49, 49, wv eA0H e
waving his hand toward her, as she
passed the window. 81 came near mar
vying her once"
why didn't your"
TN tell you. / went to see her one
eyenlng-courting her, you know-and
we sat IN the front parlor on an old
haircloth sofa. One of the spiral springs
in the sea must have worked loose some
how, for one end Of 1t stuck through a
small hole In the haircloth. Ididn't no
tice it when l sat down, and l sat right
over 1t. l wriggled about a little, l
s'pose, during the evening, and the end
of that spring gradually worked through
my trousers. The moreI wriggled, the
more the spring worked up. 1t kept pay
ing out and paying out, apparently, un-
til l must have had at least two or three
turns circled away inside of my clothes.
Il didn't know 1t then; We were talk
ing along in the loveliest manner. Emma
and I, when suddenly l felt something
cold touch my skin. jumped, of course.
but found that the spring held me fast
to the sofa Emma asked me what was
the matter, and / let on q fly or some
thing had bitten me on the hand. Then
| slid my hand down quietly and ascer-
tanned the truth. l tried to pull hard.
They were my last years trousers, and
l knew they were tender.
Emma asked me not to go, and | said
I wouldn't, and I didn't. But the con-
versation took a sadder tone after that,
and Emma wanted to know If I was low
spirited about anything. l said no, but
| was trying to think of some poetry that
I wanted to quote to her. She said she
would remain perfectly silent while l
thought it up.
The silence became painful, however,
and ! asked her If she would please ask
her father to come downstairs a mo-
ment, so that I could whisper something
to him. Emma said that her father had
gone to a vestry meeting. l requested
her, then, to send for her Brother Bill.
so that I could tell him. But she said
that Bill was at his glee club rehearsing
for a serenade. l told her that her
Brother Charley would do if he was at
home, orher Uncle Aleck. Ionly wanted
to see n of them for a minute to ex-
plain something to him.
Emma said she was sorry, but Char
ley was out parading with thetorchlight
procession and her Uncle Aleck was on a
visit to Kalamazoo. Would her mother
do, or her Aunt Jane? Isaid: No, they
wouldn't do So We sat, and sat and sat
there. Emma yawning in the most
frightful manner, and asking me if l
brought my overcoat with me, and hint
ing all kinds Of ways for me to Quit.
Il did make one little start, but I
heard something tear, and l was afraid
those trousers would fall on the carpet
in ruins, so l gave it up and rrn-0 d
quiet. After a bit Emma askt me 10
walk upstairs to see her mother a1G cat
an apple.
Il told her I would be glad to go, but
I didn't feel we'll. So she called her
mother and her aunt down to see about
me, and they asked me If 1t was chills, or
rheumatism, or vertigo, or b~illiousness,
and so on, until l was pretty near crazy.
And then l asked Emma's mother If she
would have any objection to lending me
the sofa for q few days; l said l should
like to take 1t home with me that even
ing. So they thought l really was in
sane, and they all three retreated to con-
suit about the situation. Then | gave
one awful jerk and the trousers didn't
rip, but out came four spiral springs as
big as barrel hoops, IT, seemed to me, and
they went jangling about my legs in the
most startling manner. So didn't stop
to untangle them. | rushed out into the
hall, seized my hat, and fed. But, just
as / opened the front door, | ran against
Charley, coming home from the torch
light procession. and behind him was
Emma's Uncle Aleck, just returned from
Kalamazoo. They mistook me for a
burglar, or something. and we had u
terrific fight on the front steps, over and
over. Uncle Aleck whacking at me with
his cane when he saw a chance, and the
spiral springs whizzing about awful to
see.
$50 Charley he whipped, and when
Uncle Aleck helped pick me up, and
1 told them who l was. they apologized,
but I said:
"'You inhuman and diabolical pirates,
don't you apologize to me! was going.
to marry Emma! But now I'd see her.
chucked into the river first. No more of.
your crowd for mel
"Then / went home, and by the time |
was we'll, Emma was engaged to a young.
fellow from Maryland. I'm looking.
around now for some nice girl whose
house is furnished exclusively with
Morris chairs. IN. Y. Weekly.
CANOPUS HARD TO CONCEIVE