Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
From Voda.
By Calamity Jane.


Voda this morning so 1 thought 1
would write and tell you about it
while my wife Mrs. Kalamity hauls
some feed and feeds the stock. She
just came in from hauling two loads
of straw and ! see by the CLINT of her
eye and the way she kicked the cat
and my pet dog out of the house. that
she has blood in her eye, and Old Ka-
lamity is writing with fear and trem-
bling, that he will have to hike out
in this bad storm and finish the chores.
You know yesterday was Christmas
and old sanity forgot to bring that
new hat and seal skin sack for Mrs.
Kalamity and she says l am to blame
| for all of it. Oh, how unreasonable,
but it is just like the women. / told
her thought sanity was just a little
shy of seal skin coats this year, but all
of my nice talk was of no avail, and
she said for me to hike out and 1 hik-
ed, and / suppose l will have to get
my own dinner today if / get any. Oh!
for July weather now for few days
till old Mrs. KaIamity gets over her
pet, for / see / will have to spend
most of my time outside of the house.
l am now writing out in the hen
house and my hands are stiff with sor-
row and / see Mrs. Kalamlty looks out
and smiles once in while at my dis
comfiture- Well no more of my own
troubles at present, so l Will show
you what live town can do in one
week. We, the citizens of Voda, held
our first meeting last week and elect
ed the following officers. They were
elected by acclamation John Kris
toff was elected mavor: Martin Bor-
dovSky, marshal; Ralph Kristoff, po-
lice commissioner: Chas KriStotf, po-
lice judge: George kriStoff, toast
III t~ter general; Ernest Hillman. our
genial postmaster ana merchant. any
Office that might he declared vacant
lN nnu-ltteudance OF the regular Off
rer- sow / would like II little in-
riuntinu twr elected = toaStmaster,
j tni -atu7 NsaI g. toast master has
Top rri onre about II grea {,
iherfn. ia Kansas city and Chicago
81 -'r" fhey Hld tn'iStInaStrr, and 81
i ~ ~cted one III as to hold up the
a -uitv % Vo' but to tell the truth
~ tiOm't know " f.sf the toast masters
eHi it~ are. 90 conrSs. his is confiden-
~ .il Ne PASSED % few ordinance
and few resolutions but we are go-
. i'.r o." k"rp ttiem secret. and our Off
cor VIII see. llaf the law * strictly
tt'u orVPd. it,t Ia the way, Won tell
Il I)'c J0u~-- he next biIle lie goes thro
-4ur CltY ne, must not drive faster than
D. horses can run, II lie does, he will
i,- pulled and fined To the full extent
%; The Jaw. and TINS is no bluff Saw
III EDITOR. read IN your moral
guide about a certain officer of eli ty
ftut "a thousand miles from here, how
, he fiim-fiamed the oath of his Office by
getting down on all fours and crawl
ing up behind poor little bunnie in
Your back yard and then let it get
: away. and in order To guard against
such cowardly action by our honora-
| bic and courageous officers, we called
Il meeting of the boar0 and passed
resolutions cOndemning the action of
our old friend Tom, and our officers
agreed that If any one of them was
ever guilty of such an act they would
OF their own free will and accord &C
into solitary confinement and would
lOU u w. dSSOCldLC Will any OuC IOi
! two years; but they will get down on
! their hands and feet and walk like q
5 mule and bray like Dick Owens she
mule and eat hay like the hay-eatine
r qnadripeds till the next election
when the prOhibitionist comes around
with their cOrkscrew, then they have
the privilege of arising and partakini
OF the corkscrew, but will be forever
prohibited of associating with the
honorable officers of Voda. To whom
it may concern: Squire Schwanbecl
will hold court in his new office in
o Voda and any and all persons who
q know themselves to be in the clutche:
: of the squire will please come forward
and have their sentences commute6
!. to imprisonment for life or longer
: Dick Owens and wife spent Christina.
> with w. d. Austin and wife. Mis-.
+ Annie ThIel is spending two week.
y with her aunt Mrs. w. d. Austin
Dick Owens hauled two loads of feeC
through Voda last Saturday evening
: Doctor Jones went west through
Voda and he was driving so fast tina
J one of the boxes was smoking on the
left side Now, Mr.. Editor, if ynl
q don't want to know what a real live