New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-03-10
THE TALK or THE DAY.

Edmund Clarence Stednaa has written a hymn
fl- the opening ceremonies Of tho St. Louis Expo
si.o-. which has been set 20 music. and both the
hymn and The music have been accepted by tho
exposition authorities ard VIII he heard at tho
formal opening q the Worlds Fair next April 90
Tho music IS by John X. Paine. Of Harvard Uni
y.lrtv. Some time ago the bureau Of music ex-
tended % AR Steduan invitation % vNite n
hymn emhodvlus the spirit % the great exposition
and tho progress % the West. At the same time
SIR Paine was asked TO write the music.
IT'S In,e-dei.-Hgsband-D Jack know Mss
her 90 marry him.-Crown and Country.
The unknown army" IS the Commissioners OF
Pensions calls tho living soldiers OF the Civil War
who have not applied for pensions. numbers about
.o.9D or about 80 per cent Of the total number
az survivors, who are placed about 9cOc O0 This
unknown army IS applying for pensions at tho
rate OF about 1900 year.
JAPAN's MISFORTUNE
The poor bcnlghted heather canno, swear
IN japan.
They possess no ardent cuss words ever there
when tho wind blows or their hats.
When their dariinEs prove untrue
When they y- SIP t a5d e ,lSl their Stats
In Japan?
Does the hammer never fan upon a thumb
DO insistent bill collectors never como
In Tlnau9
When they think they've got downstairs
u tho Jap man never svyears
on. wonder what they sly
in Jdpani
DO they never miss the last car ont at night
Do they never hit the sidewalk when they Hight.
When they put IN ali their cash
And are therefore brought 10 -rief
When the market 10 smash.
How DO they obtain relief
In Jupan7
DO the people never chance to step on tacks
DO they never get f.elT as;;r' caught in cracks
When they don new clothes and md
At the Office, far away,
Oh. I wonder what they say
In Japan?
Chicago Record Herald
4 revenue officer saws IN Tho London Stand
ard: English spirit. by itself. is every week be-
ing made up and sent out Irish and Scotch
wHiskey. Il Is simply reduced, coored and bottled
aud labelled Scotch or Irish according to the
needs OF the customer. And all this takes place
IN the bonded warehouses Of the country. with the
f1Il coEuzance and consent OK our excise and Gus
toms officers. who actually cautioned not in
tcrfere."
sahinp-Do you quote Shakespeare and Dante
when that college professor calls?
I I25as 'ia welsh RABBIT cincinnati Commercial
a prominent educator in Philadelphia tells the
following story on himself: In his early teaching
days he had position IN n country schoolhouse
IN New-En gland. The people IN the neighborhood
worked out their taxes by giving him board and
when there was vacancy IN the farmhouses he
took a small ROOM while the neighbors supplied
him with food One day young boy came run
ming breathcssly toward him. Say teacher" he
rasped, my pa wants to know II you like pork?'
Indeed DO like pork" The teacher replied con-
Guiding that the very stngy father OF this boy had
tell your father II there is anything IN this world
that 1 do Ike It Is pork" Some time transpired
and there was pork Forthcoming. One day he
met the boy alone in the school yard. Look here
John" he said. 'how about that pork?" "Oh."
replied the boy, "the pig got well"
The Mornings Lesson.-"Now. my dear what IS
Il think mamma It Is sort Of Invisible Nv
paDcr- '-tl-lfe
on account OF the depressed condition Of the
salmon market many canneries in ALASKA will
not be operated this year. Other packing con-
panes will so further north. where they viii catch
less pink ana get red salmon. Reds are now
selling at 81 % the coast. while pinks are very
low. the minimum quotations being 80 cents. This
Is below tho cost OF production. and there IS no
profit for those companies the bulk OF whose packs
are yiEks. The cause of the uufavorable condition
OF the market Is overproduction primarily. An
effort has been made to maintain prices, but with
out avail
Drinl5-Gadshy-My wife win raise Cain with
re If she discovers that I've been drinking
Jagsby-Au you've got to Go IS 10 hold your
Gadsby-Thats an right; but I'm afraid it's too
strong to De held.-CTown and Country.