Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1904-05-21

he looked at the boys. lie smiled slight
ly.
Ibid it hum when you caught it,? he
asked.
Yes they answered, nudginE one
another.
Then said Darwin, it is a hum
bug"
Brisadier General Fred Grant, who
is now in command of the Department
of the Lakes at Chicago, was recently
the guest of the public school principals
OF that city at luncheon. The chair
man. rising to introduce him, made
what he considered as q neat little
speech.
when Fred Grant was a boy at
West Point" he said his father, the
famous general, wrote to the COM
mandant inGuiring how the son pro-
crossed.
You need have no worry was the
reply. Your son is getting better
marks in everything than you ever had
in anything.''
That is remarkably true story"
said General Grant, when he rose to
respond. Il remember the incident
perfectly. But, gentleman, 1 will not
deceive you. There is a mistake of one
generation. / am the famous general
who wrote to the commandment. and my
son is the one whose father had such
poor marks. But never mind. Mr..
Chairman. 1t is all in the family"
At the reunion of the Seventh Regi-
mont at Sherry's in New York few
nj Of
mystery, was on the stage pleasing the
diners with his tricks. He took
deck of playing cards, and. while in full
sight of the audience, caused the cards
suddenly to disappear. Then he told
those present to call for poker hands
and he would draw them from the air
"Flush.' Full hand.' straight"
-Four queens!" came from the men
about the tables. and after each call
brooks produced the hand called for by
drawing five cards back out of the air.
Colonel Appleton sat Immediately in
front of the stage, and. after the per-
former had drawn forth numerous big
bands, the colonel turned to a man sit
ting alongside of him and was heard to
remark:
81 think that must be the fellow I
pidycu avn pOheT WITH night. In
fact, I know it is. for see that he has
studs such as 1 formerly wore in his
shirt 'front.'"
nompous man wearing a silk hat,
" ..i,h surmounted a fringe of white
hair, boarded an elevated train at
Sivty-sixth street. The train started
before he was seated and he lurched
heavily against a giddily dressed wo-
man. The encounter took place SO
quickly that he did not have time to see
his fair neighbor. but rapid glance
from the corner of his eye, as he pivot
ed into place showed him an attrac-
tive form.
Reg pardon, miss" he calculated, as
he settled himself and turned toward
her. Then he got glimpse Of hair as
white as his own, and added hastily, cor
madame"
His Embarrassment, apparently. was
equaled by her Indignation. for at the
first opportunity she moved to another
seat.
"Tt is my experience" said the chief
clerk of a confectionery store i'm Fifth
avenue, that even women who have all
walk two blocks out of their way to a
store where they can get something for
nothing. Sometimes it is only i sam
pie package of chocolate that costs a
rival in business less than half a cent
a package. Sometimes it is liquorice
pellets done up in little silk bags.
Again it is a free glass Of soda water
with every pound Of candy In hot
weather it Is fan. No matter what 1t
is, the women will rush to that store.
"The triumph of getting something
for nothing has an attractiveness for |
most women that they cannot resist. l |
wanted the boss to go in for something |
of the kind, but he gave me a look |
that nearly froZe me stiff. He is will |
ing to let the dollars drift by and MAIN |
tain the dignity of the house,
Representative Richardson of Ten
nesSec tells Of an old darby living near |
Nashville who has. according to his !
theory. been dying for many, many |
Years. Notwithstanding his persistent |
belief that he is near deaths door this |
darby. Isaac Bolts by name, is ap-
parently as well and able-bodied today
as he was 40 years ago.
Recently, says Mr.. Richardson, Isaac
was seized with one Of his Spells
One day neighbor in passing the
Bolts domicile CHANGED to observe Mrs.
Bctts standing at the gate.
How is Ike this morning." asked the
neighhor.
only tol-able only torable," replied
Mr.. Bolts better half, Il weary express
sion coming into her face.
That's too bad" responded the
neighbor. sympathetically; 81 had
hoped he would be we'll by this time
He is no worse?"
No, he amt no worse went on the
wife, dejectedly. IAN at de same time
he amt no better. It's allus dis way:
Fust he's worse an den he's better.
Den he's worse again. Allus dis way.
Pom nah soul, honey, ole Bolts been
dom dis way ever since I kin remem-
ber.' Then. after long pause, as if
in deep reflection, the darky's wife
added, in plaintive tone:
Honey, I do wish ole Bolts 'ud do
sOTnpfbip, dafpifoD