The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-08-28

''Nayether Rooshya nor / believed
him, but bein busy at home I put tn
matther aside. Rooshya was more in
quisitive. TIL Rooshyans put theirN1and
in to see whether tn wheels were 60
in round. They were. They were go
in round at TIL rate iV fifty rivolu-
tions sicond an they aren't rive
lutions We can put down be sindin
people to Sibeerya. Ivry day since this
here war again thin pore, benighted
haythen begun they'se been something
DOM A Rooshyan can't step out in
to his back yard without landin' on
mine. TIL Car at home tendin tn
baby, rocks tn cradle with wan hand
and opins tillygram with tn other
lis firm Gin'ral Kurrypotkin an it
reads; En- route home. l have tn
honor to report to ye'er majesty that
l made a gallant attack on tn Japa
nese right at 1890 this mornin. Our
sojers fought like heroes, dhriVin' tn
Japs befure thin like chaff before tn
wind. But at IL O'Clock tn chaff turn
ed an subsequently tn joke was on
me. TIL Japs seemed absolutely OBJ
livyous iv human life or their own
Forchnitely there was d thrain in wait
in an / managed to catch tn last
rail. l have tillygrafted tn ARMY to
Jine me at their own convaynience.
l larn firm Port Arthur that yeer ma
I Jesty's fleet made another sortie at
tn inimy again an afther inflictin
much damage on their mines an tor
pedoes be rammin' thin, SORTED back
to their snug haven in Port Arthur
where they CALAMITY repulsed an in
fantry attack. They ARE now throw
in up inthrenchments on deck. l will
do nawthin' till I larn what tn Jap
! neSe mex movement will be. / cannot
change me mind often enough to fol-
| low tn vagaries iv tn ORIENTAL mind
Kind regards to wife an little tootsy-
wootsyVitch. Ye'ers in haste An tn
Car answers Congratulations on gal
lant flight. Baby christened to-day.
Name follows be freight
An there We ar-re, Hinnissy. Roo
shya has picked up a live wire. We
! opened up Japan to Westhren civilyza-
ton an Japan's openin up Westhren
| civilyzation with tn same weapons.
/ How will it all come out, says We?
| Faith, 1 don't know. Ordinarily big
man ought to lick a little wan, but TIL
fat man at tn circus cudden't lick
Terry McGovern much. In war, Hin
Missy, hight don't count. An amy
how, Japan amt so small. Whin a
man is five foot eight, he's as big as
he needs to be an whin a country has
| thirty millyon inhabitants it's get all
| it has amy use f'r. It's ony a ques-
! tion iv tn tools an this here naughty
Westhren civilization iv ours amt got
| so much iv a bulge on tn degraded
haythen as we think. 1t don't require
no Hiven stint gift to make a cannon
or tn Germans wudden't be so good
at it. They amt amy raison why Oky-
| poko shudden't larn to mannyfacther a
gun as well as hans Dinkelspiel. They
amt much in invintive jaynius. It's
| all initiate Some wan initiates
| some other fellows gun an adds a
| little to it. an there We ar-re. An.
havin' made tn guns amy man that
cud use a pea blower or bow an ar
| rer can larn to shoot straight. II
war was Christyan pursoot, Spain
wud have licked us. But it amt. Amy
kind iv an oil pagan can larn it as well
as another an win at it if he can get
tn money firm tn Jews. don
know how it'll come out. But tn Japs
amt goin to stop with lickin' tn Roo
shyans. Maybe they'll take it into
their heads to come over here an set
tie 'Twud be cheaper to settle down
here thin to settle up with their cred
itors. They may bring tn Chinese
with thin 1 shudden't be surprised
if l had to put in a hogshead or two
iv saky FIR me Jap'nese thrade or to
read in tn pa-aper: Hop Lung was
arrested las night FIR rowlin' an Imply
beer barl into Silas Higgins American
laundry. TIL haythen excited gr-reat
merriment in tn court room be his at
timpts to speak Chinese"
"Niver fear" said Mr.. Hennessy.
9TH laps is on'y dark Chinyman an
INFLOW"
"Thrue." said Mr.. Dooley. 9TH
Japs ARE Chinymen well-done."