The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-09-03
THE STORY TELLERs.
Jokes and Sayings of the Players on
and of the Stage.


Thomas Jefferson, who is starring in
Rip Van Wrinkle, gleefully tells the
following story:
A negro entered the reception room
of an uptown hospital with that timid
air which marks his race when in un-
accustomed places. Ambling UP to the
desk he announced that he wanted to
see patient named Amanda John
SON.
The man at the desk put a question
to him.
I'm her husband" replied the ne
well. we only allow two visitors at
time, and two husbands have already
gone up to see her." said the clerk.
Then I'm her brother" replied the
negro unabashed-
"All right, you can go up; but send
down one of those husbands" said the
clerk with a grim smile.
A couple of summers ago Chauncey
Olcott spent several weeks in a small
village near Dublin, in Ireland. Dur
ing walk one morning he came
across get an AK Irishman painting
a fence. 1t was a warm, lazy day,
terrific rate of speed. Mr.. Olcott, with
true American curiosity as to why this
particular fence should be painted in
such hurry. stopped and asked the
Tsh%an S Teped lS0kn an Don't The be
have to be in a hurry whin me paint
is afther givin' out and Dim half
true p"
Lew Dockstader and Frank Dumont
fought joke duel over the New York
and Atlantic City telephone line the
other day. Dumont began it by ask
ing Lew what jokes he was telling
them in Atlantic City.
Lew replied: I'm saying that
Roosevelt has got the Republicans
az irasa4 tod
him about it Wednesday, and they had
to have a Cannon with them
At this joke laughter was heard
along the line. Then Frank started
in. Lew, tell them this: That
man is never too old to learn or to
run for vice-president.'
That's good" replied Lew. I'm
telling them about two boys who grew
up; one went to sea and was drowned.
The other was elected vice-president
and was never heard of again" .-
Loud ha.ha's came over the wires
To1 the afd listeners Era Here's one for
platform suits the farmers, doctors,
prize fighters and baseball players"
"Why?" asked Lew.
Because" replied Dumont, they've
got Hay for the farmers, Payne for
the doctors, Knox for the prizefghters
and Root for the ball players and
they're all weighed on a Fairbanks
scale"
heard through the phone and Lewis
voice could be heard saying, mo en-
cores are allowed
Then came Lewis turn. He said:
Here's a popular song, dedicated to
the national chairman" and he began
TO sing, Il can't tell why love you,
so let Cor-tell-you."
A chorus of "Iet up hold on"
etc, choked him off on the singing,
but he started in with 1.-The RepubIi-
cans are after the Irish vote for no
matter what they do Teddy says Wen
have to stand pat" This was greeted
by applause and laughter from
Philadelphia to Atlantic CITY,
Frank asked Lew about the Dem
ocrats Parker is good man,
isn't he? He's honest, he's sincere.
He has taken the gold cure, and he's
all right. There's nothing that can
be brought against him"
oh, yes" replied Lew, they've got
something against him.
No they haven't" declared Du-
mont
Yes. they have" reiterated Lew.
Well, what have they got against
him 2" asked Dumont.
ROOSEVELT
That broke the wire.