The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-07-10
Mr.. Dooley on Mr..
CarneSie's Hero Fund

0>>~>>>>>>
ITS no use," said Mr.. Dooley. Il
give it up"
whats that?" asked. Mr.. Hennessy.
II can't get away. from him, MI.
Dooley went on Il can't escape me Oh
frind. Andrew Carnaygie. Eve avioeo
him SUCCESSFULLY f'r NANNY years. IN
bookless libry an tn thoughtiess UNI
varsity niyer touched me. I'm not
enough Nv a brunette to snare amy
thing he done FIR Booker Washin ton.
Up to now. he been enable TO ian9 on
me anywhere. But he's got me at last.
He's r-run me to earth. I-throw up me
hands. Come on. Andrew, an paint
ye'er ;llusthrees name on me. stencil
me with that gloryous name.
what ARE we talkin' about?" asked
Mr.. Hennessy. ,-r.5s
"He has created hayro fund.-" said
Mr.. Dooley. He has put aside five mil
lyon dollars or 1t may be fifty. but an
INFLOW more thin there is in me sugar
bowl, to buy medals f'r hayroes IN tn
daily walks Nv life-sogers. polismen
an investors in steel common barred.
suppose wan day We an ar-re walkin'
home firm a picnic an We "Trip ye'er
silf into tn waters iv tn Illinye an
Michigan canal. / cannot see me frind
dhrown an besides, Hinnissy, I'd hate
to lose We as a sparrin' partner. A
man can on'y talk good to his infeery-
ors an ye're q great stimylant to con-
varsation So I take off me hat an
coat an vest. hang thin on three, pull
Off me Congress CATERS an lay thin In
tn grass, hang me cravat on tn f1nce.
offer up short prayer an lay down on
tn bank an pull we out. I grumble at
We FIR ye'er carelessness an we want to
g., Airs
ye'er life whin We cud have waded out
without help, an I break tn sthrap Nv
me CATERS pullin' thin on, an we go
home quarrelin' an jawin' an ye'er
wife thinks 1 pushed We in. But tn
talk gets ar-round tn neighborhood an
wan day comfy steps into me place.
headed be a little dumping Nv man,
an wan iv thin pins me hands while
Andrew Carnaygie nails on me chist
a medal all in goold. with this inscrip-
tion-here 1t is-that Father Kelly
wrote out FIR me:
To Martin Doo1ey, Hayro,
This Medal is Prisinted by
ANDREW CARNAYGIE
Dulcy ct Decorum Est Pro Carnaygie
To Spoil Ye'er Sunday Clothes.
"I'll be SO mad, I'll throw ye in again
but that won't help mathers. I'm
hayro r good an all. I'm river DOOM
ed to be a sandwich man an parade Tn
sthreets advartisin' tn curiosity an
noble charackter iv Andrew Carnay-
gle. If We want philanthropy go 70
Carnaygie.'s. Largest assortment Nv
canned charity in tn wurruld save
life an get medal
CIV coorse, I won't be good FIR amy
thing else. I'll have to sell out tn
LIQUOR store What's a hayro dom
pushin' bottles acrost a bar an mendin'
a refracthry beer pump? I'll quit wur-
ruk f'r good an hang ar-round Nv
cry stable pitchin' horseshoes. Thev sc
nawthin' hayro with medal can 40
f'r a Twin that amt beneath MIN
wanst a hayro, always hayro. Ar
Their awhile I'll be lurkin' in tn corner
Nv TIL bridge an pushin me frlnos lh'o
the river an haulin' thin out IT
medal. I'll become an habichool Car
maggie mayro an good f'r nawtnln else,
No me frind, don't liver fall into IN
canal whin I'm ar-round. L might o'
lookin' tn other way ;,
AN think Nv tn position we ARE III
all this time, tn man who's lie We
saved. Nawthin' cud be lower. 1eei
raymimbered f'river as foolisn per
son that cudden't swim an was dhrag'
ped firm a wathry grave be tn owner
iv TIL Carnaygie medal. Ye'er wire
despises we because We had TO nav
ye'er life saved. She was always sure
that If She liver fell into tn wather
ve'er sthrong arm an risolute hear
wud riscue her an 10 an behoid! "hif
We tumble in ye'ersilf. We have to b'
rescued be a stout gintleman in the
LIQUOR business. Ye'er little boys an
girls have to bring prisints around tt
me on me birthday. Ye have to In'
me money whin I want 1t an II we com
plain, people call we an migrate. Be
fure We die, yell wisht ye'd pulled me
into TIL canal with ye.
IT wanst knowed a laad that was
more or less riscued firm a wathr3
grave be "a tailor be tn name Nv Mug
gins. He took tn la-ad be tn ar-rm'
an walked ashore with him. Well. tn
ag'nized parents, not wantin to ap
near stingy befure tn neighbors. pri
sinted Muggins with a goold watch an
Muggins become a hayro. TIL la-a'
didn't think much iv 1t. He'd hav
| done tn same FIR Muggins. But afthe
awhile he found that Muggins wa
chained to him FIR life. AS a boy, h
was spoken Nv as tn fellow that ha
his life saved be Muggins tn tailor. A
he grew older he was still Muggins'
| boy. Muggins wasn't much to look al
lbein' a little. bow-legged man, but af
Their he become a hayro, he acted II
part Me young frind cudden't ge
away firm him. If he was playir
baseball in tn corner lot, Muggins wa
Ilanin' over tn fence with an indulgen
smile. Whin he grajated with honor
at tn Brothers School, Muggins set 4
tn front seat with look iv fond at
tintion on his face. Whin tn Brothe
Supeeryor handed out TIL first prize, h
remarked that it gave him great pleas