Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-02-11

AiiSVhci, why uIu you StT1ke tnlS
MANI" IF you please, your honor, he
came to me suddenly and said, How
old Is AnnT " We'll, what hurt did
that do?" "Why, you see, your hon.
or. Ann is my wife. "-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
When Mr.. Smith started for lodge
meeting the other night he said to his
wife, Mary, l believe I'll take the
key, for l might have trouble in find
ing it when get home" "Yes," said
his wife, "and you'd better take the
keyhole, too."-Lyre.
He--It certainly was a pretty wed.
ding, and everything was so nicely ar
ranged. She-That's just what l think
and the music was especially appro-
pirate. He-I don't remember. What
did they play? She-The Last Hope.
-Lippincott's Magazine.
isn't there some way to patch up
your differences with your husband p
asked the kind lawyer mo way at all,
SIR" answered the woman. "When.
ever he gets the least bit mad he re.
minds me that l had to advertise to
get him."-Indianapols Sun.
II shall get divorce" cried the an
cry wife, her eyes flashing fire.
''Henceforth l shall be free! "Well,
l haven't any kick coming" calmly re.
Joined the husband. It'll be more
money In my pocket every morning, l
tell you those. "-Kennebec Journal.
Mistress-Did any one call while l
was out. Jane? Jane-Yis, mum. Wan
gentlemin wuZ afther calm, mum.
Mistress-What was his name? Jane
Moike O'Rafferty, mum, an he was
as glad to fOind yez out as he wuz to
find me in, Dim thinkin, mum.-Chi.
cago News.
"A woman can never keep anything
to herself" said Danboy to his wife
who had been repeating something he
didn't want known. "Oh. yes, she
can," said Mrs. Danboy, sweetly. I'D
like to know what it Is" he growled
ITS her real and private opinion of
her husband
Does the baby talk yet?' asked a
friend Of the family. NO" replied the
baby's Disguised little brother, 1.-THE
baby doesn't have to talk" Doesn't
have to talk?" mo; all the baby has
to do is to yell and it gets anything
there is In the house that's worth hav.
ing. New York Times.
Mrs. Bilkins (sweetly)-Do have an.
other piece Of cake, Cousin John
Cousin John-Why, really. I've already
had two; but it's so good l believe
will have another. Little Johnnie lex.
citedly)-Ma's winner! Mas win.
ner! She said she'd bet you'd make a
pig of yourself!-1own and Country.
The effete East: Wabash-"How
long did it take you to do that pic
ture?" French artistic proudly)-"I am
engage upon eet for seek months. -
Wabash-"Just as l thought. You're
dead slow over there. Why. I've saw
fellers in Chicago turnin' them things
out while We philadelphia
Press.
Mrs. Bilkins (sweetly)-"Do have an
other piece of cake. Cousin John"
Cousin John-"Why, really. I've al
ready had two; but it's so good be-
lieve will have another" Little John
ME carbohydrates a winner! Mas
a winner. She said she'd bet you'd
make a pig of yourself!'-Town and
Country.
The Kansas farmer was looking anX-
iously at the sky Il hope" he said,
that none O. them there cyclones
come along" Are you afraid of
them?" asked the stranger. II ain't
never been before" answered the farm
er, but l lifted the mortgage off the
place yesterday. and it's so derncd
light now it wouldn't take much of
any kind of wind to blow it away.
The mortgage sort O weighted it down
before, you know. "-Chicago Post.