The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-09-06
Mr.. DOOLEY ON
THE AUTOMOBILE

: dow on tn sthreet an got out a
. plumbers. a blacksmith's an a carpe-
ters outfit. put on overaIls an whit
to wurruk. This is a fine spoort,
says 1. It's ragal.' / says. How hap
py a blacksmith's helper mus. be to
fet two dollars a day FIR bein' an auty-
mobfiist.' Shut up, says Hogan firm
undher tn car Whin he come out.
he looked IS though he'd been coalir'
a liner. It's all ready now,' says he.
But il wasn't. Tn shower whit 10 tn
front an turned a crank. A few bars
iv Wagner followed an thin tn auty-
mobill resigned. TIL shower aid
something in Fr-rinch be which l rec
ognized that he come firm tn same
Arondissemint in La belle Roscommon
as mesilf, an turned again. The auty-
mobin groaned an thrembled, Hogan
begun TO bounce on his seat, tn shower
lept into tn car. pulled five levers, put
on tn hard pedal an thin tn soft,
blew his horn an fran into an ice
wagon. We're off, yells Hogan. 'Ye
ar-re,' say 1, an so is ye'er back tire
FIR wan iv tn little earnest wurrukers
among tn p%opylace had been busy with
a knife. AT this minyit a polisman
come along. 'Ye're undher arrest
says he. What fr,' says Hogan. 'F'r
exceedin' tn time limit. L timed ye at
sixty miles an hou firm Halstead
sthreet,' he says. An says Hogan,
L timed ye at two hours, in Schwartz
meister's saioon. he says An I'll
have We up befure me uncle, Captain
Hogan, tomorrow FIR exceedin' tn
sleep limit an I'll make a stirring iv
ye'er buttons fr tn childher,' he says.
In tn manetime,' he says, go an
ketch Il thief he says. Thin he got
down out iv tn autymobill. Sullivan
he says to tn shower, take that ms
= .
he says L don't want to be a milly-
onaire,' he says. With ye're permits
sion. Martin. I'll go in, wArsh me- face
n raYsume me station as a poor but
clane citizen, he says.
"An' there ye ar-re. 1 don't want
amy autymobill, HinnissY. 1 don't
want to pay tin thousan' dollars to be
on-popNlar. I'd rather have tn smiles
iv tn poor as 1 walk amongst thin On
me. two shapely legs thin rayceive tn
brickbaAs iv tn same in. a circus
wagon attached to a cook stove. If L
want to- be a blacksmith, I'll jine tn
union an get me four a day. An If
I'm to be arrested at all. FIR hiNin 5
sake, let it be FIR drunkenness.
DO L hin tn autymobill has come
to stay2 Sure, I'll niver tell ye.. I've
seen all. tn wurruld but me on roller
skates. I've seen ~ivrybody ridin' a
bicycle but me. Tin years ago, whin
T ye'er son was holdin' on to ye'er arms
as We reeled up tn strheet Oh a whael,
Sayin' ye'er prayers wan minyit an
tn reverse another, We tot me that tn
bicycle had come to stay because it was
nicissry to get round wuick. To-day
we blush as 1 mintion it. TIL autymo-
| bill will stay till it gets cheap enough
FIR ivrybody to have wan. Whin tn
little ieager messenger boys is dashin'
up tn sthreet in a eighty horsepower
Demon Terror, tn rich will be flynn
kites or r-runnin' balloons an they'll
be a parachute foorce iv polismen TO
chase. thin acrost tn skies. Be that
time iIrybody will ave larned to dodge
tn autymobill. That's a good plan fr
poor people anyhow. Dodge tn, ex-
thravagances iv tn rich. They're. sure
to bust a tire soon or late
L think they ougAt to be locked UP
FIR tearin' through. tn sthreets'' said
/ Mr.. HenneSSy.
well, maybe" said Mr.. Dooley.
'But don't We thirla a man that owns
an autymobill is furnished enough?