Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-10-01
C0URTING CONDITIONS.
Lack of Compatibility Often Discovers,
After Marriage.

@AAtSi n1dIlidSS.
Very few people will gainsay the s,a.s.
ment that If courtship were undartat.,
end carried through more on the Une.
of business transactions. the pronn~ris.,
OF unhappy marriages would be spalIa.
That IS, they will find it difficult 10 ron.
tradict the assertion if they reflect sprI-
ouSly on the subject
The future man and wife are offnn A.
tracted to each other by some pa,sia,
fancy; they conclude that they like one
another; they are pleased with the pride
of possession, they taste the sweet, ~
courtship and then they conclude that
they are intended by Providence for each
other.
SO they drift on, they marry. and afr-
er few months they discover that
things were not what they seemed,
1t IS questionable whether there is real
love III any except comparatively few in
stances; the predominant factor is tlsuai-
IL glamour, fascination, kind of mad
ness-call it what you will, but il is
scarcely entitled to be described AS love.
This is proved by the jars which oc-
cur during the course of the usual court
ship.
There are little circumstances which
make us stand on our dignity. and there
are petty things which we do. arousiny
the anger of our partner, and which we
tCItdlulN NOulu not 40 II we were really
in love. for love would make us more
thoughtful, more anxious not to wound
the feelings of our prospective other self.
In fact, one writer boldly asserts that
!ove-real loye-can come only after mar
riage, when we have settled down To face
the good and bad things of life with 4
determination Ia stand together.
However that may be. it is Il fact that
courtShips are entered into without prop
er thought
If we wish IN choose partner in a
business. we are usually very careful to
take serious stock of his suitability. but
when we are selecting a partner for life,
We permit ourselves to be led away by
sentiment.
Now, sentiment is all very well in its
way, and the poetry OF courtship is very
pleasant reading. but if the pleasure of It
brief period Is 10 entail the perusal OF
very heavy prose for the rest Of ones
life, II IS well TO ask if il is worth white.
That is just what happens in more
cases than is generally supposed; we read
OF enough of these affairs IN the police
court reports and under various other
headings, but the many thousands OF III
stances which do not come to the kEOWi-
edge OF the great public offer a startling
commentary on the present system OF
c0urtShip.
The experience of medical men. spirit
nal advisers and similarly placed persons
tells the tale only too well.
1t would be better, therefore if love
making were regarded more III the Same
light as we should regard the negotiating
of piece of business; this is admittedly
lot easy to accomplish, but it is worth
trying.
Suppose you were drawing up an
agreement in your office. each party Ia
that agreement would most likely visa to
insert some condition to which the other
party would object. The discussion tdat
follows would result i'll Il compr0misc ar
4 breaking off of the negotiations.
In the former case there would I've
yielding on both sides. and each paYy
would know exactly what he had to oN-
pcct under the agreement and wound
prepare himself to abide by the terms
These terms would be. on the whole, e.ii-
GENTLY agreeable or he would not have
completed the transaction.
Yet in courtship it is commonly the To-
verse that takes place. The young peopr
show their best side they exhibit and
tolerate little necuIiarties which They
both feel cannot make for happiness il
continued after marriage
They live in Il false atm0~phere-
they make no attempt to have a proper
understanding, They try to hide tn" truth
and still the warning voice with the
thought that lit will lac all right later
en-
fair understanding,
The first condition is to start fair a0I
not to allow fascination to lead you
into an engagement without calmly judi
ing your prospective partner.
Then, later. if irritating notions should
manifest themselves. take tie matter
squarcly in hand and settle it,
If it prove impossible to arrive at
satisfactory understanding before the IT,
ing of the nuptal knot it would he We
not to sign the final agreement, for yJl
are only deluding Yourself by thinking
that if will all come right in the end
New York Herald