davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
From the Washington Post.

FROM the washington Post.
NNOR long years, Washington has
" languished under the dispense
ton of the predatory barrel pfa-
no. This instrument of torture, remind
ing us of the tourniquet, the boot, the
cravate, and the rack, succeeded the old
time organ crammed full of flutes and
pipes and melancholy toot-toots These
last mentioned founts of melody were bad
enough. They walled and caterwauled
like SO many WORKOUT tenors of the leu
tonic school, and set the neighbors to
looking for catapults and boot-jacks and
the like. But the mechanical plano could
give them cards and spades on agony
and win without an effort. And as the
hammers hardened and here and there a
note persisted altogether. the result was
an advance upon scale of geometrical
progression toward the apotheosis of the
Inferno. Then followed the protests of
an Infatuated populace. and low but pierre
ing walls of victims and martyrs innum-
cradle. At last came the new barrel or
gan, and here we wish to pay the tri-
butte of our gratitude.
How long 1t will last, only heaven
knows. Conceivaby, the dislocation of
this last development of perambulating
music may bear as dreadful fruit as any
we have indicated. But, for the moment.
during this blessed interval of luxury the
new machine comes to us as a revelation
of delight. Heard from reasonable dis
lance, it conveys the impression of a
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE WORLD

| teeth is the constant danger of swallow
ing them and choking to DEATH The
next Objectionable feature is the annoy
ance Of having people find out that the
beautiful worries you are wont to flash in
smile are not your own out purchased
from a Dentist and people usually find
out the deceit before very long. But even
If DR.. Tracy succeeds in convincing any
one that the chief danger of false teeth
IS Indigestion caused by over-eating he
will not succeed in making them unpop-
uIar. Few people would choose healthy
stomach rather than a good set of teeth
when they had none, even If the teeth
were false. Human vanity was every supe-
rior to the laws of health.
patriotic citizen of Ellwood, Pa, has
complained to President Roosevelt that a
brewery In his town is offering a daily
and continuous insult to the United States
flag by flying 1t to the breeze with a key
of beer printed on it as an advertisement.
The President consulted the attorney gem
eral about the matter and found there
was no law to fit the case, so the complaint
has been referred to Speaker Cannon.
While 1t is a trihe undignifed to thus
mishandle the national banner the extent
of the insult offered depends largely on
the quality of the beer. If it is good beer,
like Schlitz, for instance, and is destined
some day to make Ellwood famous, why
the nations honor has not been so be-
smurched as 1t. would be If the beer is
inferior. Some people are inclined to have
mysteries every time an advertisement is
prt n Cd he
custom would tend to make the emblem
much more in evidence than now and
even flag used for commercial purposes
is better than none at ALL
The story comes from Pennsylvania Of
an S. P. C. A. officer who performed the
unprecedented feat of shooting seven cats
in seven shots. AS the ratio for such
Workmanship is usually seven shots to
one cat and blow on the head with the
butt of pistol as quietus, the accurate
aim of this officer is all the more remark
able. But ii must be remembered that
this man was a sharpshooter of the Tenth
Pennsylvania regiment in the Philippines
and has had practice shooting Filipinos
who are reported to be nearly as hard to
kill as cats, and have the same prejudice
against water. 1t is a well established
fact, however, that only exceptional
marksmen ever succeed in killing sup
posed mad dog or an Objectionable cat
with one shot. Often one pistol is empted
and another borrowed before the deed Is
done. If the cat were a tiger the state
of affairs would be reversed in very short
order and 1t is painful to think what
would become of a police officer under
such circumstances. p c.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
BlRMINGHAM's GREAT NEED.
Question Of Education and Additional
School Buildings Discussed.

To the Editor of the Age-Herald:
1t is universally conceded that Biz
minghams most urgent needs are: New
school buildings, larger police force,
better fire protection, civic administers
ton on a high plane, and a union depot.
Police and fire protection can be in
creased In a day in case of emergency,
but 1t will take time to educate the citi-
zens, and improve the morals of the city.
If tree bears poisonous fruit, the pro-
duction cannot be stopped merely by
destroying the fruit, but 1t will be neces-
sary to go to the very roots of the tree;
so the lawless element of the city can
not be eliminated by the police alone,
but by starting at the roots and educat-
Ing the citizens. The loss resulting from
an inadequate fire department is purely
material and can be estimated in dollars
is irretrievable.
A purer civic administration is the out
growth of an educated citizenship and is
another argument in favor of the schools
The union depot Is an admitted need, but
one the railroads will have to supply. Sc
it Is evident that new schools are Bir-
minghams most pressing need. If CON-
pusory education laws cannot be pass
ed, there should, at least, be sufficient
schools to provide for the educati OF
those who seek it.
1t Is true the elementary schools are
over-crowded and provision should be
made for the increasing numbers seeking
admittance, but the buildings in use are
well adapted to their purposes, whereas
the building occupied by the high school
was never intended for, and is altogether
| unadapted to the purpose; is badly over
crowded with four hundred and thirty
| five pupils and many turned away with
capacity of little more than half the
number and for these reasons will have
to be abandoned. Besides. the city does
not own It,
| Think of the awful consequence if a
| fire should break out in this building
packed as it is with precious human
lives-three stories high with one narrow
winding stairway and one narrow exit.
So 1t behooves every voting man of Biz
| mngham to do his part--the casting of a
ballot in favor of the school bond issue
on April u, next. SAM CLABAUGH.
Birmingham. March Is. 1904.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
WASHINGTON WELCOMES
THE NEW BARREL ORGAN

mandolin orchestra-not the college arti-
Gle which fashion patronizes and bound
ers use for purposes of quick invasion,
but the well-remembered Spanish stu
dent band which, a quarter of a centu-
~ ago, delighted the responsive ear and
catered to the educated taste There is
a delicate and tempered clash, singing
as of carefully manipulated catgut a
suggestion of metallic undertone, thrill
such as the human voice communicates
an altogether enjoyable, IL frivolous eff
feet. No Wagner; nothing classic" just
simple and light-minded melody conveyed
hear La Paloma, Santa Lucia" and
things like that. You are spared Com
rades,' The Holy City," and similar af-
Elections. Indeed, we have an interlude
of gayety and-so far-gentle concord. We
miss-with gratitude-the painful drum
ming of the victorious piano. 1.-THE Bat
tie of Prague" goes away back and Is
heard no more. For all of which. no
doubt, long-suffering but now emanci-
pated populace will offer thanks and rev.
erence to intervening fate
But the present is a good time to ap-
peal to the authorities for vigilant protec-
ton: to implore them to forbid the activ-
tiles of these new machines after they
shall have fallen into discord. 1t is a
good thing that has come to us within the
past few months but for the sake of hui
mainly Messrs. Commissioners. keep II
good or give us silence altogether and
unmitigated!
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

RoLITIcIANs and statesmen are
| W trying to fathom the significance
of King Meneliks gifts to Presi-
dent Roosevelt. A baby lion, a fierce n.y.
ena and a pair of elephants tusks are
enough to cause speculation in this con-
sentative land where wild animals are
much admired behind iron bars, but are
seldom used as household pets. Being a
son of the desert and direct descendant
of the Queen of sheba. the Abyssinian
monarch could not be expected to thor
oughly understand the conditions prevail
ing at the White House, since he is quite
distant from the executive mansion and
has had very few callers from the Unit
ed States. 1t Is consoling to know that
Menelik will never know whether the
President keeps his gifts or consigns them
to some zoo, and as he is evidently in
earnest about expressing his friendly atti-
| tude toward this country, his animals will
have to be accepted in the spirit with
which they were rendered and the Presi-
dent will make the best of bad bargain.
The students of Washington university
at st. Louis are on the warpath as re-
suit of what they consider unjust discrim-
ination on the part of the Clarkson Con-
cession company which has the roller
chair concession at the fair. Circulars
were recently sent to various educational
institutions stating that college athletes
were wanted to push chairs about the fair
grounds. One of the circulars reached
Washington university and was posted on
the bulletin board. A student wrote to
the company asking for a place and was
told that the company did not desire to
engage Washington university students,
but athletes from Yale. Harvard. Cornell
and Princeton. The ire of the students
was Immediately raised and now a pro-
test will be made to the exhibition au-
thorities. Perhaps the concession COM
pany was of the opinion that Yale or a
Harvard man would prove more attract
i've to the fair sex in particular, than
student from Washington university, on
account of the classic associations of
these universities. AT any rate they have
stirred up a hornets nest
Or. Roger s. Tracy in a recent article
IN the Century magazine, proceeds to de-
cry false teeth because, as he says, peo-
pie possessing them are apt to eat too
many things that do not agree with their
stomachs. Although this is rather a
novel theory and there is no particular
reason why people with false teeth should
eat any more than people with sound
teeth bestowed upon them by Dame Ma
ture, the doctor is clearly an authority
VINO must not be disputed. About the
greatest disadvantage of having false
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
Dimensions of Locks.

The Age-Herald has no desire to un-
derrate the Importance of Captain
Hobson's personal examinations, but
still personal examinations may not be
absolutely accurate" So far as the
locks in the Monongahela are con-
cerned the published reports are quite
good enough, even if the personality
feature be wanting.
Captain Seibert is in charge of the
public works in the Monongahela and
his report covering the last fiscal year
is at hand. He says:
1.-THE slack water system of the Monon-
gahela river comprises dams and 10 locks
Locks / to 4 are double locks; to Q are
single locks The chambers of the large
locks are Sc feet wide, and the shortest
of these is PIG feet long in the clear. The
chambers of the small locks are SO feet
wide and 100 feet long in the clear Con-
trolling depths on stills at the different
locks at pool surfaces vary from to 81
feet"
The dams and locks mentioned rem
der the river navigable to barges up
to Morgantown, w. Va. Lock 10 to Is,
inclusive, will extend slackwater nav
igation to Fairmont, w. Va, but the
locks above No. 8 are not completed
and will not be ready for use before
the season of 1905.
1t is but fair to Captain Hobson to
say that Lock No. 2, which is his
Drag lock, is to be rebuilt, but at
the end of the last fiscal year titles to
the land upon which it is to stand had
not been secured. Present Lock No
is Sc feet wide and ZIG feet long,
and not even a personal examination
can add cubit to its length or width
Captain Hobson magnifies the War
rior at the expense of the Mononga-
hela, and yet Captain Seibert states
in his report that a daily line of pack
cts plies the latter river between Pitts
burg and Morgantown, and in times Of
high water steamboats, go to Fair
mont. 1t rises at times % feet, and
it is longer than the Warrior, and yet
Captain Hobson says that long be-
fore" Morgantown is reached the river
becomes scarsely more than a creek.
The people of Morgantown do not
consider their river creek. The truth
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
VOTING MACHINES.

From the Milwaukee Wisconsin.
The report that voting machine has
gone wrong in a New Jersey election,
necessitating another election. will not
discredit the mechanical vote recorder.
The baking of the machine was due to
meddling by an election official, who acci-
dentally showed what could be done with
malice aforethought under certain cir
cumstances. 1t cannot be claimed that
similar trouble is less likely to occur with
the old style of voting, although it must
be admitted that detection would be more
the ballots
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
HAS FIRED HIS GUN.
n tho Now York World.

From the New York World.
"All this talk about my having an
other barrel to fire" said William Alden
Smith, who probably got more newspaper
space for his speech in the house last Fri
day than he ever will again. SIS foolish.
I have nothing more to say.
my position reminds me of the story
about Henry Clay. He went to a shoot
ing match in Kentucky one time They
pressed gun into his hand and told
him he must take a crack at the tar
get. He had never fired a gun in his
life, but he blazed away and hit a BUR-
eye, and until the day of his death he
would never fire another gun"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

is, there is none too much water in
the upper reaches of the Warrior, Mo
nongahela or Kanawha. The mini
mum discharge of the Monongahela is
100 cubic feet a second, and no one
will claim the Warrior does better
than that in the dry months at Tusca-
loosa.
But all this is neither here nor
there. How does Captain Hobson
hope to open the Warrior by demon
strating the incapacity and ineffi-
cheney of the locks already placed in
it9
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

to be blown up within twenty-four hours
and the magazine at Toulon. too. Tou-
lon was outside his sphere but Kuropat-
kin, who received the warning while in
bed, rose and went at once to the st.
Petersburg magazine stores Calling to-
gether officers and men he inspected the
stores declared the inspection satisfac-
tory and gave every man three days
leave as a token of his pleasure Other
guards and sappers were summoned,
rampant was dug round the magazine
and before night 1t was certain that any
danger that had existed had been avert
ed. Nothing happened, but the next
morning the powder magazine at Toulon
was blown up.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
IN HOTEL LoBBIEs
Raised a rhousana Dollars.

Il was greatly gratifed at the response
which citizens made today to the Y. NJ. c.
A. canvassing committee" said a member
Of the association last night.
The committee started out early this
morning to raise money for the gymnas-
ium building that is soon to be erected In
the rear of the association building, and
before the afternoon was far spent fully
$1,000 had been subscribed. / thought that
was doing pretty well for one day. 1t
shows that the business men of Birming-
lam appreciate the work which the as
ISOLATION is doing, and that they are
ready to aid good cause"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
About Persons.

The Rev. DR.. T. d. Steele pastor of
the First Cumberland Presbyterian church
went to Helena yesterday for the pur-
pose of conducting the funeral services of
the late Henry c. Lee. formerly of Bir-
mingham. who died in Colorado several
days ago.
Col E. G. Graves of the Second Ala
bama regiment, whose home is in Eu-
faula is at the Norris
]. ". James Of Spokana is stopping at
the Colonial.
C. Johnson Of Selma is at the St.
Nicholas.
E. w. crenshaw of Montgomery is at
the Morris.
Col E. NJ. Oliver Of Lafayette promi-
nent candidate for chancellor Of north
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
rom the New York Press

From the New York Press.
It's as foolish for girl who can earn
her own living to get married as for a
man who can't.
A woman has an idea that her balance
in the bank depends on whether the cash.
Ter favors her or not.
Some women seem to think that man
ought to be able to live on the interest
of the alimony he pays.
A college education doesn't seem to help
the family very much to support the boy
afterward who gets it. -
Every time a woman draws a check she
has a hope that somehow the bank won't
find It out and charge 1t against her.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
Suburban Car Lines.

at notice." said ]. M. Flowers, an en-
ploye of the Alabama Great Southern
railroad, that the street car lines Of the
Birmingham district have a rule reduir-
ing the inbound cars at meeting points
to take siding and wait for outbound
cars. In my opinion this rule should be
opposite, owing to the fact that the ma
jority of the people who travel on the
cars work in Birmingham and have limit
ed time to get to their work and are de-
layed considerably on this account"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
Russia's ceneraI-in.chTef.

From the London Mail.
Kuropatkin will be only 56 next month
He is an inspiring figure. trusted because
he has never been afraid. Five years ago
Kuropatkin was warned that the great
powder magazine at st. Petersburg was
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

Since her determination to make a
continental tour of Europe it is very
evident that Nine. Patti intends to bid
farewell to the whole world, for con-
sideration.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

Radium is already being utilized by
fakirs to delude ignorant people A
Mississippi woman claims that she can
manufacture the metal, but the police
think differently.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

Up in Kentucky teeth are valued at
$4,000 each, according to a suit recent
ly filed in the courts Bob Fitzsim.
mons diamond-studded molars will
now be outclassed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19
TWO OF A KIND.

From the Washington Post.
A Berlin paper declares that King Leo
pold is to all intents and purposes an
American That editor has been reading
the Smoot case testimony.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

A prominent attorney of Atlanta
named Golightly is running for the
Office of judge of the city court. II
there is anything in a name he ought
to be able to make good race.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The salary of the Sultan of Sulu---
our own especial sultan-has been cut
off, and it begins to look as If his nu-
merous wives would have to support
him
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

Officials of this government, in these
imperialistic days, are not allowed to
discuss the Russo-Japanese war, but
editors are still granted some margin
of free speech, or rather their ex-
pressions of opinion are overlooked
for the time being.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The congressional excitement over
the Bristow report is no longer acute,
1t is lapsing into the passive cam
paign stage.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The Russian minister of finance has
offered 10000 rub1es, or $25,75O to the
person who succeeds in making alco-
hol undrinkable. Here is a chance for
the apple cure man to try his hand.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

Speaker Joe Cannon's presidential
boom is not taken seriously, and yet
there are thousands of republicans
who prefer him to Theodore Roose-
Walt
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The Chicago bakers have made the
loaf smaller and added cent to the
price. They have caught the trust
spirit
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

General Kurapatkin did the hero act
at Moscow before he set out for the
front 1t was his best chance.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The unthinkable Hearst is still pick
ing up a few delegates here and there
but the unit rule will squelch most of
them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

DIR. Parkhurst has been assessed
$4,000 for libel and may hereafter
be better able to limit his Nominations.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The melons and peaches of Georgia
are holding their own bravely. Neither
has failed as yet
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The emperor of Korea needs a dem
list. He is willing to pay good price
for the right man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

George AIDE has successfully broken
himself of the slang habit, thanks to
the remuneration of a successful play
wright.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

DR.. Lorenz is to pay another visit
to America, and the children he has
cured will have a chance to thank
him in person.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The pitching machine is too perfect
to be practicable. 1t is so speedy that
no player can hit the ball.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

1t Is reported that John d. Rockefeller
has not had picture taken in five years
and has not submitted to an interview in
that time.
George Carnegie, proprietor of the Dun
geness at Brunswick, Ca, and a nephew
of Andrew Carnegie, has announced him
self candidate for the Georgia senate.
George Frederick Watts is the only Eng
fish painter who has been an exhibitor
In the Royal academy for 81 years. Two
of his portraits painted In 1897 were shown
again recently.
John Barrett United States minister to
the Argentine republic, has advised the
state department that he would sail March
IA for his new post at Panama. 1t will
take about two weeks to make the trip.
Dr. Thomas Herran, who had been the
Colombian charge d'affaires In Washing
ton for long time and has taken a prom
inent part in the affairs of that country
has left Washington with his family and
will not return.
D. z. Thompson, the United tSates min
lister to Brazil. was a brakeman on the
Burlington railroad in Nebraska at the
age Of q. He invested his earnings and
by hard work became a millionaire AL
though his education has been meagre
he has been successful in all his under
takings.
Augustus Cook, the actor who died last
Wednesday, is not the father of Eleanor
Robson as has been stated. The father
of Miss Robson was an English actor,
Charles Robson. who died many years
ago. When Eleanor Robson was eleven
years old her mother married Cook but
obtained divorce from him short time
afterward.
Simon Conn., an interesting figure in
pioneer life, is dead at his home near
Muncie, Ind. Conn was born In Preble
county, Ohio, in 1877 and 1897 he started
the first direct stage line from Muncie to
Cincinnati. In 1887 he hauled to Cincin-
natl the big bell now In the court house
tower there. He had great influence with
the Delaware Indians and often prevent
ed trouble between them and white set
tiers
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-19

The populist party is billed to make
it's final exit this year.