The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-04-24

last his patience was rewarded lack, in
an hour when he knew he was going to die,
because money seemed valueless, sent for
Preacher Lamwell in a hurry. joined the
church and gave the parson So cold cash.
Zack was mad enough TO chew thistles
When ne got well, about a week later, and
round ne couldn't get back that money.
III ne had been mean before he was mean
enough now to sour milk in a cow He
seemed TO figure that he mad been cheated
Dy living, and he tried his best to get his
moneys worth out of the bargain He
found one consolation in religion and that
was that a man could get forgiveness for
anything he did, merely by asking for il.
30 every day he went around trying TO
skin the widows and orphans out of a cent
or so more than usual, and every night he
knelt down and said few words to square
himself with the Deity.
Inc sin of covetousnesS gave him the
most trouble. Every time he looked at the
WIDOW Hollidays farm he smashed the
tentn commandment into little Jagged
sllvers, and while he deeply repented of this
sin he filled the side of the corn crib with
ngures, planning how to get the property
away from her. At last he succeeded by
all the ingenuity and cleverness of a ship
combine promoter. He induced the widow
TO borrow money of him and buy drove
of hogs to fatten for market then he in
troduced hog cholera among them one night
and got ready to foreclose the mortgage
Inc day of payment rolled around. lack
got Squire Hall and went over to take pos
session, but on the way he providentially
dropped dead in his tracks.
Ihere has not been a show or burying
In Grassville for months. there was a
hne turnout at lacks funeral. Prea cher
Lamwell sat silently all through the sing
ing, and when he got up he gazed contem-
platively at the coffin before he spoke
Brethren and sistrenl' he began at last.
Il have been wrestling in spirit all day and
all night and all this morRing over what
kind of a funeral sermon to preach over
the deceased. He dickered with the AL
mighty right up to the minute of his death.
and, knowing the deceased too well, / have
come to the conclusion that if il is harder
for the ordinary rich man to enter into the
kingdom of heaven than for camel to go
through the eye of a needle, ii would be
harder for Zachariah Hobbs to enter the
gates ajar than for an elephant to crawl
into an ant hole. We must not rejoice in
the thought that, for the first time in his
skinfiint career, Zachariah Hobbs got the
worst end of a bargain, but such / feel to
be the case. Brethren and sistren, it is my
personal opinion that Brother Hobbs has
gone straight to hell! Let us prayr
That was the only honest funeral ora
preacher. 1t was one more instance where
dollars and devotion wouldn't mix. That's
why look cross-eyed at this Dowie pro-
position. There is too much high finance
about it. No money, no salvation seems
10 be the Zion City motto, as near as can
make out. When salvation is measured
and weighed and wrapped up in packages
at so much per pound IL is time to look for
analysis. because il is most likely a spur
ious article, rank counterfeit of some
good brand.
do / mean to insinuate that Dowie
will go where Zachariah Hobbs went? Ger
tainly not, I'll admit that 1 am prejudiced
and that had a villanous steak for dinner
this evening, but | wouldn't go that far.
All the same / would like TO be loafing
around the gate when st. Peter throws
Elijah the Thirds cash book on the ash
heap and sails in TO ask questions"