The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1904-05-14
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Newton, South, May 8.
There are compensations in all
things, even in travelling alone. This
may be an ungracious thing to say, but
an invlncible preference for the day
coach over the sleeping coach is the
plea In extenuation. The sleeping car!
II ever a day is as a thousand years it
must be to the man in a sleeping car,
by day condemned to unfrlendly as
ISOLATION with long distance travellers,
time is a relative thing, aud
confess to a preference for the
treatment Of this interesting
theme by Rosalind in AS you
Like 1t to that of DR.. Newcomb in
his Principles Of Astronomy.
But the sleeping car.-My indict-
ment extends to every item Of it's
persOnel-the sleeping car conductor,
the sleeping al porter, the sleeping
car man, the sleeping car woman and
the sleeping car child. II used the
word item ~adyisedfy. II there is any
thing infhuman form divine, anything
In any form more deserving Of being
kcalled lit" than a sleeping car con-
ductor, biological researches have
failed to reveal 1t. He IS the good
Hest looking thing for what there is
In him that this little round world
affords. He is SNUG and ignorant.
Ask him whether the town out the
window is Topeka or San Francisco,
and he doesn't know. More than that,
he makes you feel that he ought not
to be expected to know, and that In
breaking 10 upon the reverie Of his
New Atlantis existence you have
wronged him, wronRed him cruelty.
The sleeping car porter belongs to
a different order OF obiectionables.
he is infinitely more intelligent than
the sleeping car conductor, better in
formed, and capable Of much greater
usefulness and service, II you can sub
jugate him. But there Is a Grass
worldlineSs about him which temptS
you to suspect that he is not above
corruption; aud IL you happen to be
Of those who think that the bride
taker and the bribe giver are equally
culpable before the moral law, you
are as helpless In his presence as a
prisoner Of war. Or perhaps you have
a gentle voice and have conscientious
scruples against swearing loudly. II
so, your case is hopeless, though you
have a Doodle fund that bulges all
your pockets. Though the sleeping
car porter is the only vocal iutelli-
gence in the car, you are loath to
cultivate him, for you can never quite
divorce yourself from the suspicion
that he is questionable company.
The sleeping car man, whether by
a sort Of natural selection or by a
kind OF psychic catalysis, bears a close
resemblance to the sleeping car con-
ductor. He is mild in manners, but
unsocial and grossly o%verbearing. Go
forward to the smoking room where
you are most likely to catch his dig
nifty off its guard, forage around in
the match boxes for a light, turn
your pockets inside out in his pres
ence, and he will look through the
window with eyes focused at fifteen
thousand miles. If you have courage
enough to ask him for a match, then
you have every title to be ranked a
hero that Hooson has, but one. The
chances are a hundred to one that you
will prefer to ring for the porter and
pay him a dime.
The sleeping car woman is the UNI
happiest sight TO be found outside OF
the mad house. There is something