The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-10-07


And the straw hat now hunteth its barrel
The poet is seized with an impulse. divine |
In writing his song ITO October; ~. ;g@-
In hunting around for word that will rhyme |
He pitched at length upon ''sober."
The girl in the parlor, the gas burning low,
Has three calls a week from her STEADY"
And over two-thirds of us sons Of a gun
VIII soon be a-voting for Teddy. - -
The iceman and the goldman grin as
they pass each other in the back yard. #
The size of the wheat receipts show
that the boys on the land know a. good
thing when they see it in the price.
The weather fore casters are not in the
game now with the old boy who juggles
with the electoral vote. He will take all
old envelope out of his breast pocket and
a pencil and figure it all out for you in
fifteen minutes. The Portland Oregonian
man tells you how he does it.: r
Wen set the figures down right here, in columns
side by side, s s.
Subtract the total from what we need and the
thing is verified; p -
Next add New York with thirty mine, subtract
go thirteen from three, - r.
And multiply by 1llinois-that makes it plain,
7.r you see; ... - #sar : In. r.
But shall add or multiply New York by
~ Idaho 5000 e... 2
To get the size of the total vote that is cast by
Borneo? -'."5 ..+ES2 b
Let's add New York to Illinois, divide by Ten
nessee,
Subtract the dividend from six, and multiply BY
three - H..
To find the votes we need to get, then cube the
| =. subtrahend, ...< - g..
EextraSt the square root of Brazil, and square
| Which gives six majority, without doubtful
state,
And will elect without a doubt, our honored
| candidate, -
For three times three are surely nine, and FIVE
| from. nine leaves four; =. r..
Well sweep the land from Panama to coast OF
| Labrador
And If you don't take any stock in this
just run In and see how the cigar store
betting stands. ..-r
The artesian well at La Moure, N. D.
Is acting scandalously. 1t coughs UT
quantities Of mud, Ignite coal, iron py.
rites, old shoes, gold, silver and cope,
quartz, tin cans and broken glass. The
water also manifests a strong disposition
, to back up and run anywhere and every
} where, except into the river, where i
) belongs. The town fathers finally got on
i of patience and decided to pipe the waite
, to the river.
Farmer Ben of the Mower County Tran
, script has had his taxes "ekalized" up
wards and is exhibiting a sorely- pounde
thumb. Farmer Ben says:
g 1T alwus makes me mad when It come
: to equaliztn''~ UP the, taxes OF folks!
;. see that the state board are doublin' u
. on everything in sight. Last spring hon
est folks returned what they had fc
{ earthly possessions and Civ em in straigt
= to the SCISSOR, while the sneakin' liars an
%o1, Io1c lS1L
n ceived and got off, and now the equalize,
: are .doublin' up on the honest returner
y while the tax-dodgers are just winki
IT their left eye and never get even touche
: Look at the lazy tax-dodgers round sue
Is a place as Austin, that hav 4 stream
} interest and income, comm in right alor
a on their money invested and the 'sess
le amt got hold of penny of it, while IL
l. farmers and the merchants and po
r. Farmer Ben has to stand out in the lig
ar and get it from all Sides. I wish the
was some way of gettin' at these mise
~, able liars and cheats and dodgers tn
~ amt honest, to come UP like a man al
~ take their share Of the public burdens
10 Will Chamberlain in his Wayside Hin
aI tells again the story of old Baptiste Re
~ tram, the so-called French hermit, wi
az has lived peacefully for many years
- u $50 acres Of rich Sioux valley soil. T.
81 SlIcdlu VI beTlT1il 5 lie Hdu Sllu6u
90 g. wards the tomb placidly and unruffle
=, Tall, gaunt, rather bent, unspoiled Of t
~ barber, uninterviewed Of the tailor, wi
-, no dreams of mansions for himself, sa
~ beyond the skies, he has been faithful
~ his rosary and honest to the penny. B
~ the tabled stories Of his hidden cans
!. gold allured highwaymen. Like the a
40 10. cient hermit of the storybook he W
-. ~ said to count his money with, each pas
40 ing day. His neighbors knew the gem
. old man well and trusted him.
en- en- But few weeks ago few of t
ne dark-lantern artists, lured by these tai
+ of vast wealth. attempted to climb in
- Baptiste's chateau by night and rifle
ny stocking. The old man heard them co,
ns ing for his money, and perhaps for ]
ne life, and he picked up his rusty old sht
IA gun and blew one Of them so full Of lie
90 that it was difficult to lift him to cal
" him away. Baptste was taken to j
's- pro forma, but he will come out aga
Use The world can we'll spare the boys W
III crawl in at night to take that VIII
a. belongs to Others Vive lie Bertram!
en- .- .... .-...E a. J. r