New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-27
THE TALK OF TIE DAY.


reference to member OF the militia OF Northern
state taking part IN the recent msnouvres at
Manassas; The guardsman was one day making
heroic efforts 70 set away with his hrst ration Of
army beef. A fellow soldier walking him
stopped TO watch. with some amusement. the at
tempt OF the Northerner to mastca;e the meat
whats the matter. Bil?' asked he "oh. nothin'
much" was the sullen reply. Then. disgustedly
regarding piece OF the beef that he held in bis
hand the Yankee ADDED: Now know what people
mean when they talk about tho slnews Of war"
FOSSILS.
The place was by the shore
Bone molecules vociterous
Induced a little confer
To taxa them in her stern.
Letting go the blood and bone of her.
And making room for them;
WA Was '9e yEos5! Ilsiidi39I more
shrewd lie sO4
Twas the time OF Homo sspienHi
The place library.
BY subtle sorcery
INDUCED ,aU tss a pe e,I PhibIG Los b1s,,
RejecIins YOU You Of course INFER.
It's former contents vain:
Until the sage rapacious
Became, one summer day.
leather-hacked. veraeious
Encyclopaedia -(Life.
light thus answers the lament of an esteemed con-
temporaryi IAN Arkansas editor. who has been
married two weeks. gives vent to his experience
the matrimonial in the following poetic language:
Wed rather live Cat Island with a parrot for a
mate, and have sane blisters on each OF our toes,
than 10 dwell in paradise and silk slippers
with woman who pouts.' Just let him try living
alone with sand blister on every toe and no
woman around 10 doctor thsm and humor him. and
how long ne will be willing to stay there
Facts in the Case.--"saY. mister said the tat
I'm de victim Nv er washout"
"Dats wot rejoned the tramp, Honest, I
amt had nuthin' bur water ter drink fer mors'n
ten days."-(Chicago News
The man up for larceny had admitted his guilt
when appreherded. but at the trial. according to
THE Green Bag" his youthful counsel defended
him with great ohstinacy and unnecessary bril-
Hancy.
Gentlemen" said the Judge. regarding the Jury
with benevolent smile. ''the prisoner says he is
guilty. His counsel he is not You must decide
between them"
Then, after an effective pause, the Judge added.
There Is one thing to remember. gentlemen, the
prisoner there and his counsel wasn't"
ut does n pay to talk bout yoh troubles" said
Uncle Eben 'pe M you boilers bout get-n
Of workin' de mule OFF on somebody else "-(Wash-
ington Star.
An English paper tells how ono occasion Joseph
Chamberlain invited to Liverpool to make
speech. 1t was to be a great celebration. The
Mayor. who to preside the meeting had
arranged fine dinner for the guest of honor.
distinguished assembly surrounded the table and at
the right OF the host sat Mr.. Chamberlain. For q
couple OF hours the company chatted over their food
and finally the coffee served It was at this
1uncture that the Mayor leaned over and whispered
to Mr.. Chamberlain: Your exceIency shall we let
the crowd enjoy itself while longer or had we
better have your speech?'
Daniel J. Sullv the dethroned cotton king made
trip through The South last winter. and when he
been working for a cotton planter time out of
mind. One morning he came 10 his empoyer and
said:
us gwlne quit boss"
What's the matter, Mose7"
We'll. sah, yer manager, Mistah Winter amt
kicked me In de las free mumrs."
ordered him not to kick you any more L
cont want anything like that around my place 1
FL don't git any more kicks Use goin' to Quit
Ebefy time MiStah Winter used ter kick and cuff
me when he wuz mad he always git 'shamed of his
SCI ana gimme quater. Use done los enuff money
feeiln' philadelphia Post.
hthef ana chioroform, useful in bending men
10 sleep have the very opposite effect ON plants
"eh are stimulated to the greatest possible activ-
NY oy these drugs. In Denmark and Germany
advantage has been taken OF this fact to force
MOWERS IN rooms and glasshouses ana to make
then bloom out OF season The results are said
to be marvellous.
70 Eiss t tne asked George
GLADYS GIadys-Weli like her eheek
nal $50 od George.-(Louisvile Courier-Jour-