The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-24
THE FAMILY MARTYR.

ter in which she asks why she Should
be the drudge of her family while hel
sister gets all the cakes and ale. Sh'
works from morning until night in q
store, yet when she comes home she
IS expected TO do the household tasks
that her sister has left undone. She
is not only compelled to contribute
her earnings TO the family support
but her money is taken without ap-
probation or gratitude. while her sister
IS one of those who receive but never
give. Above all. the brave weary toll
er is blessed with no 1.-THE of the love
and tenderness that are poured out
upon her sister who does nothing t.
deserve them, and she desires to know
as many of the other Marthas OF life
have, why Mary is preferred before
her.
l wish that I could answer my cor
respondents question, but no human
being knows by what process of Sc
lection one member OF the family is
elected TO the post of family martyr
while another succeeds to the lucra-
tive Office full Of emoluments and per-
quisites of Poor Thing" Yet there
are few households in which this in
vidious distinction does not obtain. on
the martyr falls all the burdens and
hardships. She does all the disagree
able things She enteTtains the bOres.
She nurses the sick. She gets up and
prepares the early breakfast. She
helps the children with their lessons.
Every member of the family dumps
his trOu bles on her. If there is any
body to be denied anything. she is
slated for the sacrifice. If her sisters
quarrel with their husbands they come
to her 10 pour out their woes. II her
brothers play the races and get in
trouble they expect her 10 borrow the
money for them somehow. In a word.
everything that is too disagreeable for
other people 10 do, falls 10 her lot.
Nobody ever thinks of saving her bod
lily fatigue and mental anguish. She
is just a sort Of clearing house for
family difficulties.
Far otherwise is the lot of the fam
lily darling. Just why she should be
privileged ito sit on a silk cushion,
and sew up a seam, and feed upon
strawberries, sugar and cream while
Martha tolls in the kitchen, no one
knows, but she does IL. Nobody would
dream of expecting her 10 get UP and
see that the boys had a hot break
fast at O'Clock. On the contrary,
everyone goes softly by her door, lest
they wake her. No one would think
of burdening her with their sorrows
because she has esta blished a reputa-
ton for nerves and sensitiveness. No
one can tell why she has ways" that
must be humored but she has, and
so she goes through life surrounded
by halo of sympathy and pity, and
is always poor thingd" as long as she
Aves.
OF course there is no justice in this
state of affairs II merely exists, and
there are no tragedies in life bitterer
than those of the women who are daily
sacrificed on the altar OF their fami-
lies, and who receive neither honor nor
affection for it. 1 have known women
who literally made burnt offerings of
themselves on the cooking stove in
order that the various members of
their household might be INDUCED in
the dishes they liked, and who wore
themselves to skin and bone picking
up and putting away the things that
other people dropped that the house
might be kept tidy. but nobody ever
appreciated 1t. So far from it, Mar
tha's domestic tastes were a family
joke, and the very people that she
shaved TO make comfortable would
sigh. and say how sad ii was to see
one wasting their HIVES on the pursuit
of triles
Sometimes the family martyr is
young girl VINO bravely shoulders the
support of her family, and spends the
money she earns in giving her broth
ers and sisters the advantages that she
can never have herself. and they take
her sacrifices without question or
thanks They never ask themselves
why she should give give up her life
for theirs. They never consider that
the money she spends on them would
give her pretty clothes, pleasures, per-
haps opportunities to marry, that she
can never have while. like cinderella,
she sits in rags on the hearth at home.
They never think that when a girl
gives up her youth she is giving up all
that life can ever offer her, for when
q woman sacrifices her youth for her
family she has broken at their feet
the alabaster box that contained all
the possibilities of love and romance
that might ever be hers.
Sometimes the family martyr sacri-
fees the talents that would have made
her famous. The saddest story / was
ever told a woman whispered to me
between her sobs. She had written a
first novel, strong, virile, original, fun
OF promise, and on the strength of
that she had received an offer from
big New York newspaper to join its
staff. Her ticket was bought, her
trunk checked "a brilliant and pros
porous future stretched before her
when the very night before she was
to start for New York. her sister died.
and dying. selfishly demanded OF the
family martyr that she should give
up her career. and rear the six or
phan children she left. Martha accept
ed the burden as Martha heroically has
way Of doing. and the door of hope
shut in her face. For twenty years
her life had been abject slavery toll
ing day and night to make insufficient
means meet the needs of a growing
family, her genius dulling itself at I'M
congenial tasks-for you cannot con-
vert Pegasus into a dray horse without
breaking his spirit-until, at last she
knew that the opportunity of life was
gone to her, and what she might have
been she could never be. What was
left TO her of life was just the dust
and ashes of the sacrifice she had Of
fered up to her family.
These are not exceptional cases. The
family martyr is so common a figure
that she does not even attract our no.
tice. and when we talk of the women
who are doing things in the world we
never even think to mention poor
Martha's name. We speak of Arabella
who is studying art with a big "A, 5"
and Portia who is going to be lawyer,
No. ,rrH. f1 .nl,1 grN,r 4