Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-09-27
NUMBER 80.

| ncIr ssl,rn yU...,. slice | Was for.
| tccn and she wa, Il little maid Il tyo,
aaI lived ue'.hl.or to her in SuGJ.I-
| shire.
At fourteen was rs ungalniy Lad,
with as helpless Il sprawl of legs ana
arms and as staring and shaElcfacad
surprise ut my suddenly realized
| height of growth when jOstled by Il
| girl or younger lad. and utter dis
comfture before an unexpected deep
ness Of tone when essaying a polite re-
spOnse to an inquiry Of his elders, as
was ever seen in England.
And ! remember that | bore myself
| with n wary outlook for affronts to
my newly hedging dignity and con-
cealed all that was stirring in me to
new life, whether Of nobility or natural
emotion, as II it were a dire shame,
and whenever had it in my heart to
| be tender was so brusque that seem.
ed to have been provided by nature
with an armCr Of roughness like
hedgehog. But perhaps | had some
small excuse for this, though, after all,
it is a question in my mind as to what
excuse there may be for any man out
| side the motives of his own deeds, and
| care not To dwell unduly, even to my
own consideration. upon those disad-
vantages of life which may come to a
man without his cognizance and are to
be borne like any fortune of war.
But | had a mother who had small
affection fer me, and that was not SO
unnatural nor so much to her discredit
as it may sound. since she, poor thing,
had been forced into a marriage with
my father when she was long In love
with her cousin Then. my father hav-
ing died at sea tie year after | was
born, and her cousin, who was youn-
ger son. having come into the estates
through the deaths Of both his broth
ers of smallpox i'm one week. she mar
ried her first love In less than six
months. and no discredit to her, for
women are weak when they love. and
she had doubtless been sOrely tried.
They told me that my poor father
was a true man and gallant soldier,
and my old nurse used to talk to Inc
4 him. and ! used to 20 by myself to
think of him. and my eyes would get
red when was but little boy with
rejecting upon my mother with her
new husband and her beautiful little
boy, my brother John. year and
half younger than l. and how my own
poor father was forgotten. But there
was no discredit to my mother, who
was only weak and gentle woman
and was tasting happiness after dis
appointment and sorrow In being borne
so far out by the tide Of it that she
lost sight. as it were. of her old shores.
My mind was never against my
mother for her lack of love for me.
But il is not hard to be lenicnt toward
Il lack of love toward oneself. especial
" remembering. as | do. myself and
my fine ruddy faced loud voiced step
father and my brother John.
A woman. by reason Of her great ten
fer overmuch for those she loves. haSY
not the strength TO bear the pain of
loving more than one or two 50 entire
ly, and my mothers whole heart was
fixed with an anxious strain Of lOvingA
care upon my stepfather and my broth-S
e.. | have seen her sit hours by d
window us pale as statue while myy
stepfather WAS away, for those were
troublous times in England and he In
the thick Of it. When was a lad OF
six or thereabouts they were bringing !
the king back to his own, and some of '
the loyal ones were in danger Of losing
their heads along his proposed line OF
march And have known her to hang
whole nights over my brothers bed II
he had but n tickling in the throat.
and what could one poor woman do
mOres
Ny brother John looked like my moth
er, being i'm fact. almost feminine in his
appearance, though not in his char
acter. He had the same fair face, per-
haps more clearly and less softly cut.
and the same long. silky wave OF fair
hair, but the expression of his eyes
was different. and in character he was
different AS for me, | was like my
door father. so like that, as ! grew
older. seemed his very double. as my
old nurse used to tell me. Perhaps
that may have accounted for the quick
glance which seemed almost Of fear,
which my mother used to give me