The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-04-17


ing does not disturb them, while others
dread snorers as they do mosquitoes or
those other pests which sometimes disturb
sleepers. Snoring is, by no means, very
popular accomplishment, for one to pos
sess; for, though he may snore ever so
carefully, he will, sometimes, either de-
generate into a monotonous KIND OF Soufd
saving" or rise to those undlghlleu
snortings and brayings which, III the
dark scare children, and weak-mlnoed
= people almost into fits
cannot speak, from my own knowl-
edge. for do not know, whether am a
snorer, and, If so, to what class OF snorers
/ belong. have been informed, by gen.
tlemen, whose veracity l would lot like
to question, that do breathe a little hard
sometimes; but, no man has ever told me
that my hard breathing could he heard
across the square, on stormy night;
therefore, I infer / am not much OF a
snorer; though 1 always like to be first
class in anything 1 undertake.
There are various kinds of snoring and
as many kinds of snorers. I need not
take the readers time to describe all the
different kinds of snores. as / take it
Tor granted OlneT pSOPie diC 90 "NiA PN7'
ed as j am but, do want to mention a
few Of them--if, for no other reason, to
let the reader understand that I have
been an appreciative nearer OF that mid
night music which, some sensitive people,
pretend they do not admire.
In the first place, there's what may be
termed the smoking snore. That's the
simplest form of snoring, and the easiest
Ntxr % ON
his back and puff, as if he were smoking
a pipe. 1t doesn't require any exertlon.
whatever, and, consequently. it doesn't tire
the snorer. He can keep up his pooh,
from the moment he begins to puff until
the sun rises, the next morning! And
what makes it SO aggravating, II you
punch the fellow and make him promise
to stop, he'll begin again right where he
left off, And should you shake him
again. and beg him to stop his putting,
he will say, "all right--p-o-o-oh!' and go
right ahead as. if there had been no in
terruption. 1 have a very dear friend in
Smithfield who graduated with distinc-
ton as a smoking snorer, and, as far as
have been able to enquire into the mat
ter, he stands at, or about, the head OF
that class. 1t is worth the loss of a
with him and satisfy ones self as to his
proficiency in the art of po-o-h-ing.
The 'goose kissing snore' is somewhat
like the smoking snore; but it differs
from 1t in two particulars. I'm the first
place the mouth is partly open and the
snorer s-s-s-h-e-s instead of p-o-o-h-s; and,
IN the second place, the kissing gets loud
er and louder until it becomes a sort OF
whistle which generally scares the snorer
and wakes him up, when he will be pretty
apt to remark: ST believe | was snoring.
And then he will most likely turn over
and sleep quietly the remainder of the
night.
The next snore. in order. IS the frog
snore,' or rather cross between the
noise made by filing a hand-saw and the
croaking of meadow frog. Such a snore
is enough to make the flesh crawl on a
person who is nothing but skin and bones,
and make him forget all the other troubles
and disagreeable things in this world.
Beware Of person who snores that kind
of a snore.
The next snore is what might be called
the snort. The noise is made through the
nose and sounds as savage and quite as
discordant as the roar OF a young lion
mixed with the braying of an ass. That
snore is known as 1.-The baby-waker," and
is therefore terror in any household;
but the one good feature about it is, it
soon exhausts itself, or it would exhaust
the snorer.
Lastly, though there are other kinds,
] mention the 'gourd-sawing snorers.
There are two distinct kinds OF these; the
hand sawyers and the cross-cut sawyers.
The hand-saw fellows are those who blow
out. simply-the cross-cut fellows are those
who snore "a-gwine and a-comin'." OF al
snorers this last mentioned class, by all
odds, stands highest, and is entitled to
the premium as a sleep disturber: for
no man with a bad conscience, ran sleep
while the cross-cut snorer runs his ma
china.
l have heard much better music than
the average snorer can make; but, never
heard any snoring that could keep me
awake. If the snorer can stand it, know
I can; so, l generally let him run his ma
chine as he pleases, if it be all night
Some folks can't stand snoring-at least
they make out they can't. 1t has
been my misfortune to be thrown with
some of this unfortunate class several
times, and I speak the trueh when 1 say
they are to be pitied. 1t is so sad to see
a man who thinks he's hero. a patriot,
or a saint, scared half to death: rolling
and tumbling and groaning as if he had
the headache, the ear-aehe, the tooth-ache,
the back-ache and all the other aches,
just because a bed-fellow, in the exercise
of God-given right, is blowing his horn
of praise and thanksgiving, while he is
sleeping. 1 would not like to sleep with
dead man: so, like for my bed-fellow
to let me know he's alive. "A snorer
does that.
I am ashamed to tell some things [
know about those scarey fellows l think
too much of them to let my readers know
what towards they are: or at least how
little nerve they have. # you want to
make one of those nerveless fellows mis-
cradle just start him off TO room with
a good, jolly fellow, who has too much of
life in him to lie like log all night. and
you'll do it. In voice that is pitiful in
the extreme, betokening an anxiety. or
an alarm that is truly heartrending, he
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