The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1904-11-11
THE HUMOR OF JAPAN
JOKES THAT AMUSE THE NATIVES
OF DAl NIPPON
some samples of Their Character
istic Funny stories - The Doctor
Who Didn't Fear Burglars - The
writing Critic Who Couldn't write

stories called "kOkkci Hyaku ShOwa'
10y Mr.. Kubo Tendzu the Japan
Weekly Mail quotes the following M
being peculiarly characteristic Of Japa
nese ssmor:
A certain government official who In
olden times used 10 be called a "daik
wan" but now is known as n gun.
c-ho" (head OF district, having been
recently appointed 10 a certain district,
was engaged In a tour OF inspection
when his notice was attracted 10y the
approach OF an old man who was too
tlpsy TO walk straight.
Wondering who the intoxicated man
could be- the district officer accOsted
him and after much difficulty ascer
tained that he was the head OF the
village which he had come To inspect.
Thinking IL 10 be his duty 10 make use
OF the occasion for obtaining reliable
information, the district officer asked
the topper how many houses and how
many people there were I'm the village
There are 100 houses and, males and
females included. 80 persons In the
village" replied the man. Puzzled, the
officer asked, How can that beT
There is nothing wrong about that
replied the head Of the village. BE.
sides these sixty there are any amount
OF people In the village, but since they
are creatures who know not what IL n
to drink they are not, take II, worthy
OF being mentioned
once upon a time II happened that
Ave or six burglars, armed with
swords and shouting like men attack
Ing an enemy on the battlefield, came
bouncing into the house Of certain
doctor The whole household. with the
exception OF the master. were para
lyzed They felt as though iron chains
had been placed around them, and not
one OF them moved hand or foot They
watched I'm terror To sec what would
happen, when, 10 and behold, the rob
bers took their departure without
stealing thing. Though they could
not tell what was the meaning Of this
strange proceeding, certain il was that
the family was safe. But where was
the head Of the house, After search
ing through the rooms they found him
in his dIspensary. There he stood In
the midst Of the drugs, medicine spoon
in hand, looking fierce and triumphant
what are you doing herer inquired
one OF the members OF hls household
Smiling. he replied: Those robbers
were perhaps as noted as Kumasaka
Chohan, but they may thank their
stars that they have got of with their
lives! Had they pushed matters lit
tie further and entered this dspensary
not one OF them would have left IL
alive" Amused by this remark. one OF
the members OF the family rcioincd
without sword or n pistol how
could you have killed these robbers?
Can you kill robbers with spoon|
Whereupon the doctor, with fine self
assurance. replied: How many thou
sands OF lives have ! taken 10y means
OF this spoon! what 10 me are the
lives Of five or six robbers? Lucky
chaps To get off as they did"
The son Of an extremely illitCratc
peasant was I'm the habit Of bringing
his copies home day after day, his
hands and face covered with the ink
that should have gone on his copy
Thinking II we'll TO exercise his putcr
nal authority over the lad even I'm re-
gard 10 his school lessons. the father
one day commanded the boy 10 show
him his writing. Looking II over with
the mir OF Hn expert penman, he criti.
cised various strokes. This stroke Is
too long; this one too short. These two
strokes are too far apart" observed
the father.
But" said the boy. "the writing
master tells us To write them rs have
done" "Show me the copy" jerked
out the father The boy produced the
copy. which his father began to ex-
anime closely upside down. why,
you are holding il upside down. ex.
claimed the lad. Not 10 Lee beaten the
father replied: Don't be so concclted.
| am holding IL for you 10 look at. of
course. You could not read it were
IL turned the other way. Listen 10
what is said 10 you aud don't fancy
you know everything"
The above reminds us of II story that
concerns Taira Kiyomor II is re-
In ted that I'm the time OF the He'll rc.
bellion the rebels attacked kiyomoriS
camp very suddenly one day Losing
his presence OF mind Kiyomori put
on his armor In great hurry, the back
part front. Some persons near pointed
out the mistake he had made. You
have put your armor on the wrong
way" they exclaimed. 1T is not so"
calmly answered Kiyomorl "As the
emperor IS coming behind have put
on the armor SO as 10 have the front
part facing him. II would be impolitc
TO have the back part OF ones armor
facing an emperor" without altering
II he went out 90 battle.
The term "yabu" Is applied 10 doe
tors who prescribe wrong medicines.
Now. IL happened once that quack
having been the means OF killing the
only son " certain house. the par
ents determined TO have their revenge
on him. So they sued him nc court
nf law. The affair was eventually
patched MP by the worthy quack giving
the bereaved parents his own son I'm
return for the one he had killed. Not
bong after this event the said quack
heard loud knocking nj his door one
night ON going 20 the door he was
Informed that one of his neighbor's
wives was dangerously III and that