The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-08-08
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

HUMOR OF THE DAY.
solved.-'why do sailors get tattoed?''
yachtin' togs-ain't no particular reason
except that other fools is doin' it.''-Puck.
| Mrs. Gadabout-Mrs. Palmer says she
would not keep a girl who was better
Mrs. Talkabout-Well,th that explains why
she is always without one.-Judge.
Entirely Out of PIace.-"so you lost
your position as undertaker's ASSISTANT
tor on n a street car. and I couldn't get out
please. "-Washington Star.
The Only Trouble.-'.diss Passay hasn't
! any beau at all. has she?"
No, her past discourages suitors.
Why. there's nottthing the matter with
her past, is there?" 80,
Nothing except that it's too long. -
Philadelphia Ledger.
ooh, George" she exclaimed bitterly.
81 heard you tell your friend that you
didn't love me any more. Boo hoo!
ly. Il mean it as a compliment. OF course
/ couldn't love you any more than co
Get out of here or I'll set the dog on
you!, shouted the proprietor of the eoun-
II only wanted to tell you that your
man down there in the field is not a truth
full man" said the itinerant. with his hat
in his hand.
why, he told me he was working for a
gentleman. Good day!'-Yonkers States
man.
An Experienced Observation-Disclosures "a
bookkeepeT)-Hcllo. Thompson, where are
Thompson "a typisD-.I am. going into
the country for a months holiday | have
have just been sacked by Closefist to
make room for a lady typist at smaller
screw, but I'll be back at the office in
Quickpen-Think so?
Thompson-sure of it. She'll marry him
by that time, and after that she'll make
him employ a man.-Pick- Me-Up.
Old At the -stella-Have you
learned to swim yet?
Ethel-Not this season.-Puck.
He-Did you tell your father I was a
She-No I didn't have the nerve. He
has read your books.-Judge.
1T is very bad form for. a person to
make - spectacular play Of his wealth"
Yes" answered Senator Sorghum:
and in politics it's worse than that. It's
injudicious Washington Star.
At the seaside.-she-Oh, George. what
He HeEyvery nice. but. poor things. they're
just like me-we both arrive at the shore
Judy.
Absent-Minded Man.-"Been in a fight?''
asked the inquisitive person
Not exactly" replied the absent,mind-
ed while shaving myself this
1 tried to lather my face with
the razor. Chicago Daily News.
She'd Say .'No" Then.-Miss Elder
."I am sure he means to propose to
me this evening". Miss Pert-"In-
deed? And will you be married this
fall or in the spring." Miss Elder
1.-THE idea! 1t doesn't seem to occur
to you that 1 might say NO" Miss
Pert-''That's so. He may say: Have
YOU any objection to marrying me ~
Press.
Hope Ahead.-He-"So your father and
mother both object to me-
She-"Yes; but don't worry. Papa and
never agree very long about any
thing."-Puck.
Reward of the Righteous.-Nice Old La
DIV Ito little boy)-''How is it 1 never see
Won at Sunday school2"
little Boy-s'Nothin' doin'.'
Nice Old Lady (aghast)-"What do you
Little Boy-"Christmas is too far on
Nice Old Lady (comprehending)-'And
Sunday school in order to receive box of
little Boy-"Yesn; that's all they give
u.s. ''-Brooklyn Life.
Cheap Rates for Vacation Trips,
From Kansas City via Chicago Great
western railway. $500 to st. Paul or
$1,000 to Duluth Supe-
rior. Ashland or Bayfield,. Equally low
rates to summer resorts in Minnesota