The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-08-14
ON THE POLITICAL PROSPECTS.
BY F. P. DuNNE.

All tn time tn rayports firm tn coun- thry become more an more glowln'. Tn
 tidal wave is risin an soon will amount to landslide. Victhry Is perched upon our banners an has sint fr tn family. Fr tn dimmycratic candydate tn most glowin' rayports iv gains come firm New England, where there Is always most room fr dimmycratic gains. F'r tn ray publican, tn news fir m the southwest is so cheerin as to be almost incredible or quite so. But iliotion day comes at last. Tn people iv this gr-reat eounthry gath CT at tn varyous temples iv liberty in barber shops an livery stables an in- dieate their choice of evils A gr-reat hush fall on tn land an tn public pours out iv tn side dures iv tn saloons an reverently gathers at tn newspaper of fees to await with baited breath tn thrillin news firm tn first precint iv tn foorth ward iv sheboygan, Wis. An thin again we hear tn old but niver tiresome story: Texas give dimmycrat majority iv five hundherd thousan but will re- open tn polls if more is necess' 'ry; tn dimmycrats hope iv tn prisint ratio Is maintained tn raypublican victhry in Pinnsylvanya will not be unanimous. An wan candydate rayceives six millyon votes an is overwhelmingly defeated an tn other rayceives five millyon, nine hundherd thousand an Is triumphantly ilicted. An there ye ar-re.
 Why, Hinnissy, wanst whin I was In pollytics, me an Willum O O'Brien put up a German be tn name iv Smeerlxase or some such name f'r aldherman fr tn fun lv tn thing. It was a gr-reat joke an aven tn Dutchman knew it. But befure he'd been nommynated two weeks he be- gun to take 1t seeryous. 'rhey'se a good dale iv dissatisfaction in tn ward with tn prisint aldherman, says he. an ye know I've lived here a long time an I'm popy- lar with tn boys. Sthranger things have happened thin iv this joke was to turn out thIue. Well says l. If yere ilicted I want ye to make me Uncle Mike Chief iv Polls. He's licked thim all an he raaly holds tn Job ex-propria vigore, as tn Su- preme Coort wud say says l. Sure will says Smeerkase. Well, he come into me place ivry day to tell me how his campaign was ge..in' on. He had 9ssur- anccs firm more people than there were in tn ward that they'd vote fr him. He had his pitcher took an hung on tn tillygrafy poles. He hired a man to write his obichury firm tn time he took his first glass iv beer as a baby to tn moment when tn indignant citizens iv tn Sixth ward arose an demanded that they shud crowd their suffrage on him. That menat me an O'Brien, dye mind He got up a mass meeting with bands an calceem lights an tn hall was crowded while he talked not on'y broken, but, be hivins, poolverized English on tn issues iv tn day Well, Hinnissy, ye know tis not on'y tn candydate himsilf that's con fdent it's ivrybody around him. An befure tn ilicition eeme, ] begun to think that maybe me frind did have a chance, so I wint around to see him. He was l disthributin' tn spendin money fir tn polls an l had to fight me way in. Glad | to see ye Misther Dooley,' says he. I wanted to tell ye that Pm sorry l can't | appint ye'er Uncle Chief iv Polls. I've in- quired Into his charackter, says he an
 tis not LID to tn standard Besides he says, I've promised tn job to tn Amal- gamated Union iv Can Openers, who arre | with me to a man Ar-re ye that sure ye're goin to be ilicted that yevealready broken we're ante-iliction promises? says | I. My. but it's you that ar-re tn hur- ried statesman It's all over says he. | I've ordhered tn flowers fir me desk in tn council' Make mine a gates-ajar, | says I an wint me way. How many votes did he get? Eight That was tn
 amount Where did he get thim@ says I to O'Brien They were some we cud- dent use,' says he. They belonged to a Bohaymian in tn foorth precint but
 give them to Smeerkase. He's good | fellow says he.
 What's me opinyion iv tn campaign'