The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-27
Jokes That Amuse the Natives
Of Dai Nippon.
PRESCRIBING WRONG THING
sems Samples Of Their Characteristic
Funny stories--A Novel Way Of
Killing Burglars by the Use
Of q Spoon.

In a review OF a collection Of funny
stories called "kokkeI Hyaku showa'
by Mr.. kubo Tcndzul the japan
Weekly Mail quotes the following al
being peculiarly characteristic Of Japa
nose hunor:
A certain government Official who In
olden times used TO be called ''daik
wan" but now IL known an a "gun'
cho" Chead Of a district, having been
recently appointed to certain district,
was engaged IN tour Of inspection
when his notice was attracted by the
approach OF an old man who was too
tipsy 10 walk straight
Wondering who the intoxicated man
could be, the district officer accosted
him and after much difficulty ascsr'
tained that he was the head OF the
village which he had come to inspect
Thinking II to be his duty to make use
Of the occasion for obtaining reliable
information, the district officer asked
tho topper how many houses and how
many people there were IN the village
There are 100 houses and. males and
femalcs included. 10 persons in the
village" replied the man, Puzzled. the
officer asked. How can that beT'
"There IL nothing wrong about that
replied the head Of the village. BE
sides these sixty there are any amount
of people IN the village. but since they
are creatures who know not what II ID
TO drink they are not. take It, worthy
OF being mentioned"
once upon time II happened that
ave or six burglars, armed with
swords and shouting like men attack.
ing an enemy on the battlefield. came
bouncing into the house OF a certain
doctor. The whole household, with the
exception OF the master, were para.
lyzed. They felt a. though iron chains
had been placed around them. and not
one Of them moved hand or foot. They
watched In terror TO see what would
happen, when. 10 and behold. the rob
bers took their departure without
stealing a thing. Though they could
not tell what was the meaning OF this
strange proceeding, certain II was that
the family was safe. But where was
the head Of the housef After search
Ing through the rooms they found him
In his dispensary. There he stood In
the midst OF the drugs, medicine spoon
In hand. looking fierce and triumphant.
"What are you doing herer inquired
one OF the members Of his household.
Smiling, he replied; Those robbers
were perhaps as noted as Kumasaka
Chohan. but they may thank their
stars that they have got Oh with their
lives! Had they pushed matters lit
tie further and entered this dispensary
not one OF them would have left II
alive" Amused by this remark, one OF
the members Of the family rejoined;
without sword or pistol how
could you have killed these robbersl
Gan you kill robbers with a spoonr'
whereupon the doctor, with fine self
assurance, replied: How many thou.
sands OF lives have l taken by means
OF this spoonl What to me are the
lives Of FIVE or six robbers? Lucky
chaps to get or an they didF'
y The son OF an extremely illiterate
leasant was In the habit of bringing
lie copies home day after day, his
hands and face covered with the Ink
that should have gone on his copy.
Thinking II well to exercise his pater-
nal authority over the lad even in re-
gard to his school lessons, the father
one day commanded the boy to show
him his writing. Looking II over with
the air Of an expert penman, he criu-
cised various strokes This stroke IL
too long; this one too short. These two
strokes are too far apart" observed
the father.
But" said the boy, "the writing
master tells ~ TO write them AZ have
DONE" "Bhow me the copy" jerked
cot the father. The boy produced the
copy, which his father began to ex-
anime closely upside down. why,
you are holding II upside DOWN. ex-
claimed the lad. Not to be beaten, the
father replied: Don't be 90 conceitedl
am holding II for you to look at, of
course. You could not read 1t were
n turned the other way, Listen to
what ia said to You and don't fancy
you know everything"
The above reminds Us Of q story that
concerns Taira Kiyomori. It Is re-
lated that In the time of the Heiji re-
bellion the rebels attacked Kiyomori's
camp very suddenly one day. Losing
his presence Of mind, Klyomori put
on his armor In great hurry, the back
part front. Some persons near pointed
out the mistake he had made. "You
have put your armor on the wrong
Wny," they exclaimed. ut Is not sc"
calmly answered Kiyomori. "As the
olnperor is coming behind | have put
on ihe armor so as to have the front
bari facing him. 1t would be impolite
q havo the back part Of ones armoF
oclna an emperor" without altering
IA vent out to battle.