davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

TIC wv fuo ScSo'bFIaHd Wop>"
He was a foreigner, says the New
York Press, and, having entered a
large jewelry store on Union Square,
he said to the clerk behind a show.
case:
II would like to examine some sec
ond.hand Watches"
Excuse me. sir, but this is not a
pawnshop," observed the clerk,
haughtily.
mo? Said the man inquiringly,
but you have plenty Of Watches" and
he pointed to the great showcases full
of handsome timepieces.
Certainly" replied the clerk.
Finest stock of watches in town.
How much do you want to pay for q
watch?"
How much?" asked the stranger.
Much as he is worth, so that he Is a
secondhand watch and will keep good
time"
See here, sir. you are in tho
wrong store. We don't keep second.
hand watches in this establishment"
The strangers eyes opened wide,
but you have them here, there and
there" he said as he began to gestic.
ulate. IL have said second.
hand Watches" spelling 1t out as
though to make it palmer, and they
are here everywhere, yet you say you
have them not. ] do not understand
you"
"Well | do now" replied the clerk
sheepishly as he quickly opened n
showcase and produced a tray Of
watches. lust a little mix up. No
harm done, hope. Certainly We have
watches with second hands. All our
watches have second hands. We have
no other
And the stranger got a secondhand
watch, for which he laid down a fifty
dollar note.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

Child lin berth of night steamer)-
Mummy, I'm SO sleepy. | want to go to
bed.
Mother But you are in bed, dear. -,
"No, I'm not. Pm in a chest OF drawers!'
Punch,
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01
Evasion.

"You said YOU were going to see that l
was well taken care Of"
did IL" rejoined Senator Sorghum.
Eyes. sir. And now | want to know
whether you are going to keep your prom
Use"
my dear sir, that was not a promise.
That was a prophecy Washington Star.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

"A Judge will sit on his bench all day and
nv. 50 times: You are discharged, " re-
marked the observer of events and things;
"but when he goes home and his wife re-
quests him to go into the kitchen and re.
neat those words to the cook he's ready
for the woods. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01
How About an Americana

A London traveller finds that the Eng
lish telephone girl is slow and indifferent
the French, intractable and impairment
the Italian, lazy,-lndianapolis News.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01
whv He Studies Law.

Wall Street-So your son is studying law.
Do you expect that he will stick oft?
Speculator-Oh, no; | just want him to
know enough about it so that he will be
able to evade it successfully .-Detroit Free
Press.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01
What He Meant.

A diner at a moderate restaurant
not far from Washington Square beck
oned to the waitress who was serving
dinner.
please bring me a demi-tasse," he
said, after finishing his dinner.
The waitress looked completely O
Observation-Disclosures was not in her vo'
co bulary. At that moment, though,
the head waitress, who was passing
the table and had overhead the order
came to the rescue.
"He names a sphoon," she explained
in a stage whisper,-Harpers Weekly
Popularity will soon run away from
- Il. ..
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

Bacteriology sensibly decides that
mosquitoes and rats carry most OF the IN
lection. 1t was certainly wasting IT'S time
making out a case against paper money,
kisses and Van Dyke whiskers.-Puck
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

The effort to comply with the Bib
iiCal injunction, to answer a fool a3
oording TO his folly, has cost many q
nan his reputation for wisdom.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01
The WaY It Feels.

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken OF
as a cough cuie.-J. w. OBrien, 800 Third
Ave. N, Minneapolis, MINI, Jan, 6, 1900.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

Teacher was explaining the meaning
of the word recuperate.
Now, Willie" she said, "if your
father worked hard all day he would
be tired and all worn out, wouldn't
be-"
"Yes'm."
Then, when night comes and his
work is over for the day, what does
be do?"
That's what ma wants to know
Cleveland Leader.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

Surely, says Faith, the Providence which
hath made time too valuable to be used IN
chewing food will not withhold a SPECIFIC
cure for indigestion Puck.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

Fits stopped free and permanently cured
No fits after first days use of DIR. Kline's
| Great Nerve Pestorer. Free 80 trial bottle &
treatise. DR.. Kline, 93l Arch st., Phila., Pa.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

Pills did me great
lot of good, and il
it c not true /
would not rec,,m-
mend them. las
the strain of lift
ing that brought
on kidney trouble
' and weakened my
back, but since
using Doan'S Kid
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01
THE STRAIN OF WORK,
Best Of Backs Give Out Under the Burden
of Daily Toll.

Lieut.. George g. Warren, of No. 8
Chemical, Washington, d. c., says:
"It's an honest fact that Doan's Kidney
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

careless boys grows up and goes into
business there is always some defect
In his transactions. He lacks system
and th~oroughness; he is slovenly in
his business habits and Fever knows
quite how he stands. He never thinks
1t worth while to be ~exacting in little
things; his books are not accurate, his
desk is loaded with papers and letters
and confusion reigns everywhere. His
slipshod methods are infectious.
Everyone who works for him catches
the contagiOn and perpetuates his
weaknesses. He carries little weight
in the community, for no one dares to
intrust important matters to him,
knowing that he blunders, Is not ac-
curate or reliable. All are afraid Of
him and shun him in business affairs.
Nobody has confidence in the man who
half-does things. He cannot get credit,
however honest, because he lets his
notes go to protest; he is late with his
deposits; he misses his engagements.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1904-10-01

ERNEST HAROLD BAYNEs.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24
Fair Notes

Reserved seats in tho grand stand
will be sold on the same terms - last
vear. Tho seats are now on sale At l.
II. Myers drug store.
Fifteen fast horses-bOth gallopers
and harness horses-are now being
worked out daily at the fair grounds
track. A carload Of racers arrived from
d ,nver yesterday.
All Superintendents, together with
Assistants, are requested to be on the
fur grounds promptly Wednesday
morning, or before il they think neces-
sary, to receive exhibits and arrange for
placing OF same.
All information desired about making
entries IN races, bucking contests, farm
ers wagon race, COW boy relay race, etc..
should be made of Mr.. Chas- w. Luck,
Asst Secretary, at the office of A. E.
Bent.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24

P. N. Shredder will hold a meeting 1t
the Pleasant Valley School House on
Aug. 30 to organize a branch Of thv
American Society OF Equity. The 80
ciety claims that its purpose is to make
nearer and better markets for the farm
ers, improve their methods and diff use
knowledge and make an ideal condition
in the farming community. 1t claims
membership OF 100000.
Tho following teachers were present
and took the examination at the court
house last Tn irsday and Friday Miss, .
Emma B. Chaplin, Ruth Quinton, Olive
Pittman. May E. Graham, Carrie H.
Lamson, Luella Hopper, Edna T. Mask.
er, Mrs. Ella ID. Barnes, Mr.. Guy T.
Hudson, Arthur w. Morehouse and Her
bert G. Lamson. Miss Rowe took the
examination also, her papers being sent
to Bent county. Several others took
the examination at Granada, but their
names were not obtainable.
Under Sheriff J. Fl. Frlsbe, owing to
other business interests has handed in
his resignation to take effect September
LIST. He has been occupying the posi-
tion for four years and half, during
two years OF which owing to the dsplor-
able accident to Sheriff Tate he has been
in charge. He has made q
good record as an officer, having cap
tured larger per cent Of criminals than
any previous official, and many friends
regret his determination to resign.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24
MONEY TO LOAN
plenty Of Cheap Money for
good Farm and City Loans.
Call and sec mo.
L. WRIT MARKHAM.

J.R. Gordon, OF Granada, was u La
mar visitor on Saturday.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24

All parties furnishing materials OF
goods of any description to tho Fall
association should only do 90 on the
written order OF some one In authority
attaching same to the invoice, and mail
Ing At once to the secretary.
Until the first day Of the fair, the
office of the secretary will be At the
Office of the Lamar Milling & Elevator
company, phone 1872 Rcd. During tho
fair the office will be at tho entrance to
the grounds whore any information
desired can be had.
Tho fair association was notified on
Monday that tho Braihsrd & Patterson
carnival company had cancelled all its
dates In the valley. This action was
quite disappointment 70 the MANAGE
ment, which won't to considerable
trouble 10 secure the attractions for
fair week. The officials are In corr =
spoud sucs with other show people, how
ever, and some other attraction may be
secured.
Child's season tickets. good for three
days, SO cents; adults season tickets
good for three days, 81; family ticke t.,
good for three dSvs, 81 so, may bo prt :
cured at the stores Of McLesn Bros +,
I. Il. Myers and Up-to-D.te Drug Co +,
or from w. C. Gould, treasurer. S--
cure your tic .ets before the fair and
avoid delay.
The fair grounds present an inviting
appearance now, the newly painted
fences and buildings standing out sharp
ly against the dense green foliage Of the
trees. A Denver man who saw tho fair
grounds hr the first time yesterday
threw up his hands in admiration and
said, This has everything Of the kind
in the state beaten . mile" And ho
has been around enough TO know.
All parties desiring to made applics-
tion for privileges, either on the fair
grounds or in town, should apply to the
Secretary at once, this especially apply
ing to applications to run lunch count
srs or dining room on the grounds. and
those desiring to make application for
concessions on tho fair grounds should
do 60 in writing to the Secretary at once.
Parties desiring to make entries IN
any department at the fair will make
same with Mr.. w. F. McCue, Asst. sec
rotary, in charge or entries. He will be
found at the office of the McCue Lum-
Der Co. until Wednesday, morning,
oath. the first day Of the fair.
when ne will be in the office under the
grand stand at the fair grounds. Please
make your entries as early as possible
aud avoid the rush and delay Of waiting
until the last day to make them.
Every indication points to unusually
large crowds at tho fair this year and
great many will want sleeping accomo-
dstions and We request Of all those who
have extra room to spare to list same
with Mr.. Geo. A. Watson at once, who
will attend to assigning applications for
lodging to those desiring same. It il
very necessary for the comfort OF our
visitors during tho fair, that anyone
having rooms to spare shall offer same,
as there is no doubt but what every
available room will be occupied.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24
sseckhelders Meeting.

Lamar. Colo, July 30, 1904.
A special meeting Of the stockholders
OF The Big Bend Rural Telephone Com
pany will be held at tho Silver Dale
school house on Tuesday, Sept. 9, 1904 at
9 O'Clock .. M, for the purpose Of consid-
ering Art. 6 of the Articles Of Incorpor:
alton. At IL a. m, Of the same day, and
at the same place, the regular annual
meeting will be convened for the pur-
pose OF electing directors for the ensu-
ing year, levyipg assessment, and the
transaction OF any other business con-
uected with the aforesaid company.
Respectfully.
CHAs. F. HoAo,
Sec'y.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24
Dom, Miss the Races.

A number Of race horsee arc already
at the stalls at the fair grounds and sew
eral carloads will arrive during the
week. 1t is evident there will be more
and better horses entered than ever be-
fore. The racing program will be q
hummer and no doubt of 1t.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24
NOTICE OF APPLICATION TO LEASE
STATE LANDS

Ovy1cx OF THE STATE BOARD OF LAND Con-
MIssroNERs
Denver, Colorado. Aug. Is. 1904.
NOTICE il hereby given that Tho Salvation
Army. whose postoffice address Ii Amity,
Colorado on Aug. 18th. 1904. made application
No. sSS to the State Bosri Of Land Commis,
Int. Imp. Lands, situate in Provers County,
Nx Of SWx and Nwx of Sc Sec. 5, Twp.
y South. Range 70 West.
No other appiics stions 70 lease the above do
scribed premises or objections against the
above .pplio.tion will be considered efeer
'ep''"'' N""' MARK G. WOODRUFF,
Register State Board Land Commissioners
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24

FOR TBADE-First-Cl Glass Stock
Ranch, IN Bscs county. Well improved
plenty of water and timber. Will trade
Tor good alfalfa farm under Fort Lyon
canal, q. 3. Smith.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24

Colorado Springs, Colo, Aug. q, 1901.
Annul Log Rolling Modern WoOdmen.
Rate e6.45 for round trip, Dates OF
sale Aug. g, o and "a. Final return
limit August Is.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24

II you are looking for q safe, profit.
able Investment, $50 r. n. Mathews
Solicitor for 1.-The Banker's Life
Iowa. now in its twenty fifth year.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24

For cheap town lots see O. B
rhoman.
The Lamar register., 1904-08-24

Owing to rush of fair sdverti sing
much reading matter was left out last
week. Among other items the account
Of the meeting of the county central
committee. 1t WAS the best attended
meeting Of the kind ever held hero and
shows the interest in the campaign.
Every precinct was represented and
there were a number Of spectators.
Among those up from the east end as
committeeman or spectators were s. F.
VII to, Holly, ]. H. Newman, G. H.
Thomas and c. A. Brakeman, Am,ty. j.
L. Mayfield, j. A. Rosebrough and Mrs.
w. w. Jones, Granada, Geo. E. Case, NJ.
j. McMillin and Capt. ]. H. Wing, Carl
ton. All spoke enthusiastically OF re-
publican prospects, In their section.
This community was shocked last Fri
day to hear Of the sudden death OF Lee
Harnden, at his home in Los Angeles OF
apoplexy. Mr.. Harnden was formerly
substantial business man Of Lamar and
was we'll known and liked by all our peo-
pie. He was married here last winter TO
Miss Gertrude Dodds and moved the
first OF the year to California. He and
his wife were preparing for a visit to
relatives in Lamar at the time Of his
sudden death. The remains were taken
back to Iowa by Mrs. Harnden for inter-
m mt at his old home. She has the
heartfelt sympathy of her Lamar friends
in her great loss. Mrs. Jas. Dodds &C.
companied her daughter from Lamar
Iowa.
Rural Free Delivery Route No. q.
Postoflice, Lamar, Colo, Aug. 2, 1904,
This route runs west from Lamar to
Prowers, thence north and east to Rural
Telephone Station, thence east and
south to Lamar. The Department has
ordered service to begin Sept. 10. Per
sons on or tributary to the route, desir-
ing this service, are required by the reg
ulations to erect at their own cost, rural
boxes OF some pattern approved by the
department, tp be on the roadside 20
that carrier can easily obtain access to
them, without dismounting from his ve-
b c e. A list Of approved boxes' may
be seen at this Office.
Boxes should be securely fastened .
!. substantial post, 4 feet from the grouI d
,ud the duplicate key delivered to the
postmaster on or before Sept. 10. 1t 10
important that the boxes be erected In
time and ready for tho service, on Sept.
18th. ID. +. COOPER
Postmaster
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1904-04-08
sculptured by Nature

Nature through the active agency OF
the rains. winds and even the dust
sometimes performs wonderful things
in the strange fashioning Of the OBJ
durate stone into forms resembling the
human face. On the very summit OF
Mount Tama!pais, a lofty peak thai
stands about twelve miles from the
city Of San Francisco, is a most re
markable profile wrought in the solid
stone.
Just a few minutes walk from the
end of the railroad that leads up to the
mountains summit, on the trail that
circles the crest Of the peak, brings
one to the Old Lady herself. This
huge natural sphinx seems to guard
the path where it narrows on q rocky
ledge.
The profile is perfect. The seams
and creases made by the centuries OF
weather are like lines of care and age
worn in the human face. No one, how
ever aged in our worldly years, can re
member when the Old Lady was
young. However, when one passes far
Their along the path and looks back
ward the outline of the wrinkled visage
is lost, and instead the eye can dimly
trace the features of woman young
and as beautiful as an Egyptian
princess
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1904-04-08
He Had Money before.

Colonel Carr was travelling in New
Mexico once, when he ran into a party
consisting of Senator Tabor and his
friends. 1t was only few months aft
err Tabor had struck it rich" Prior L,
that event he had possessed scarcely
enough to buy postage stamp, but he
was making up for lost time
Carr had lost his watch key and be
gan inquiring for one Mr.. Tabor
thought this a great joke THE idea OF
q man wanting watch key in tbs
nineteenth century, he said. After
chuckling over it for some time he
turned to Carr and asked an explana.
ton. 81 want TO understand it's
watch key! And man as up to date
as youY
''Well. the fact is responded the
colonel 81 had enough money to buy s
watch before stem winders came into
fashion,
1t was a center shot and was greeted
by roar from the entire car. Tabo!
got OFF by buying champagne for this
crowd.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1904-04-08
An Intelligent Bird.

A species of woodpecker inhabits the
driest parts of Mexico, where during
the droughts it must die of starvation
unless it made a store. To prevent thi!
it selects the hollow stem Of n species o.!
aloe, the bore of which is just large
enough to hold nut. The woodpeckei
drills holes at intervals in the stem and
fills it from bottom to top with the
nuts, the separate holes being apparent
ly made for convenience of access t.
the column Of nuts within.
The intelligence which not only con
structs a special storehouse but teaches
the woodpecker to lay by only the nuts
which will keep. and not the insects
which would decay. IS perhaps the
highest form of bird reasoning which
has yet been observed.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1904-04-08
"MICHIGAN FIVE HORSE"
Too Much Cannot be Said Of This Most
Effective Engine.

Of the many excellent models OF
National Engines, so we'll known to
our Michigan farmers, the Michigan
Five-Horse is especially commended
as suited for the heavier work of the
farm. 1t will soon save its cost in
saving, feed cutting and grinding,
deep-well pumping, ETC., while it is
run at an expense next to nothing.
When less power is needed, there
are National Engines of one and one
half horse power. The peculiar points
OF advantage possessed by National
Engines make them the farmers
first choice. They are the simplest
in make, the most easily run, the least
noisy and with the prospect of the
longest life. All are built for work,
all are of frst-rate excellence. The
makers of National Engines have had
IS years experience and possess the
best tools and other facilities in the
country. Their handsome illustrated
booklet describing National Engines
should be in the hands of every far
mcr, and it costs only postal to get
4 copy. Address National Engineer
ing Co., Saginaw. w. s., Mich.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1904-04-08
Plot to Blow Up Steamer.

Portland, Ore, April GA bomt
containing two pounds Of powder
heavily charged with nitroglycerin5
and containing a box Of 100 decorating
caps. was found on the guard rail OF
the. steamer Albany, Of the Western
Transportation Co.'s line here. Th5
fuse had burned almost to the caps
but had gone out. Had the bomb ex
ploded the Albany would doubtless
have been completely wrecked From
the fact that quantity. Of Chinese
tissue paper and a white sock such as
is worn by Chinese was wrapped
round the bomb, it is thought that a
plot to destroy the steamer was
evolved by Chinese. The Transports
ton company has persistently refused
to employ Chinese.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1904-04-08

PLEASURE BOAT cAPsIZEC.
Five Persons Drowned Off Coast of
Tampa. Florida.


Tampa, Fla, April Give persons,
all members Of q pleasure party from
the Florida Methodist college at Suth-
erlane, were drowned near Anclote
lighthouse last night. 'yle dead are.
Mrs. Walker, wife of the president OF
the college; Miss O'Connor of Allan
Ia; Miss Slaughter of Sutherland;
Miss McCray of Sutherland; Mr.. Bot
land Of Sutherland.
President Walker and Miss Newton
reached the beach alive. The bodies
of Mrs. Walker and Miss O'Connor
have not yet been recovered. The bod
les of the other three who lost their
lives were washed ashore and recov-
cred.
President Walker had taken the
party out for cruise to the light.
house, but met with rough water and
the bbat was overturned in the gulf.
The Florida Methodist college is lc.
Gated at Sutherland, on the wes'
coast OF the gulf, about thirty mils,a
from Tampa.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1904-04-08
The birth of advertisements.

The first periodical newspaper of the
English press appeared In lG22. but
advertisements were not developed till
1917. In April Of the latter year was
published No. - of Perfect Occur
renclcs of Every Dale Journal in Par
lament and Other Moderate Intelli-
gencc," which contained the following
announcement:
"A Cook applauded Ivy the Clergy Of
England called The Divine Right OF
Church Government collected by sun
dry eminent Ministers in the Cite Of
London. corrected and augmented in
many places, with briefe Reply to
certain Queries against the Ministery
of England; Is printed and published
for Joseph Hunscot and George Cal
vert and Are TO be sold at Statloner's
Hall and MT the Golden Fleece in the
Old Change"
The London Gazette was the first
newspaper to publish commercial ad-
vertisements, which soon began TO &C.
cupy so much space that the proprie-
tors. not wishing to charge the Ga
Zette with advertisements unless they
be matters OF State" issued Special
Advertisement Supplement, printed
apart and recommended to the Publick
by another hand"
Older still is an advertisement in a
black letter Dutch paper of an auction
of sugar, ivory and tobacco held ut
the close of 1926.
The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1904-04-08
Children Rolled Ecns.

Washington, April 5.-Hundreds OF
children, of all colors and conditions
participated yesterday in the Easter
Monday egg-rolling festival on the
White House grounds. Except that the
weather was too cool for perfect com.
fort the day was ideal. To witness the
sport Mrs. Roosevelt invited the WON.
en- of the cabinet circle and party
of her young friends. They viewed
the sport from the south portico of the
White House. After luncheon the
president Joined tho party. remaining
for time to watch the children.