davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-11-13

Limericks OF the century, as:
wish that my room had a floor
don't care so much for q door
But tins walking around
Without touching the ground
Is getting to be quite a bore.
Alas The Lark has sung its
swan-song and MARBLES no more!
One Limerick has the distinction of
being credited to Rudyard kipling
There was a small boy o. Quebec.
Who was buried in snow to his neck.
When asked Are YOU friz:"
He replied Yes. | is.
But We don't call this cold in Quebec"
The greater number. however. are
anonymous. and may be most easily
classified according to subject.
This, for example, treats OF a his
torical theme:
Cleopatra, who thought they malgned her,
Resolved to reform and be kinder:
IF. when pettish,' she said,
Il should knock off your head.
Won't you give me some gentle reminder, -
The following may be selected as an
example of tragedy treated in the
Limerick form:
There was a young man named Mccall,
Who went to q fancy-dress ball.
He thought, Just for fun,
He would dress like a bun.
And was eat by the dog in the hall.
Also:
There was a young lady from Lynn,
Who was so exceedingly thin
That when she essayed
To drink lemonade
She slipped through the straw and fell in.
Certain Limericks find their chief charm
in a satiric touch, and it is not sur
prising to occasionally find the fair sex
the victims:
Eliza. she never was nifty,
She was kindly and gentle and thrifty,
She gave poor people pies.
And she never made eyes
But then-she was seven and fifty.
But there are others who suffer:
There was a young man 50 benighted
He couldn't tell when ne was sighted,
And out at a party
He'd eat Just as hearty
As If he'd been really invited.
And it is sad to note that ever the
clergy have not peer spared:
\ curate once smote at a tee,
And threw his new club up a tree,
Saying "Fie! NY Oh. dear,
l must give up. l fear.
Either golf or the ministree-"
Occasionally good advice is made the
subject of a Limerick. Note this one.
which bears the title. Make the Best
of Adverse Circumstances
There was a young person named Clyde.
Who was once at a funeral espied.
When asked who was dead,
He smilingly said
Il don't know Just came for the ride ="
The following is unclassitied
There was a young fellow named Tate.
Who ate with his girl at SOS.
Since Tate did not state,
cannot relate
What Tate at his tete-a-tete ate at Sos.
OF the modern Limerick writers.
Carolyn Wells. the creator of Gentle
lane" is one of the most prolific, and
also one of the most successful. Though
F. -. i =
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-11-13

There was an old man of Terrentun.
Who CRASHED his false teeth till he bent en-.
When asked what he'd lost,
And what they had cost,
He replied: Il don't know Just rent
EN-"
\NHEN every weekly and almost
w every daily paper is bursting
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11
RRvAN,s VIEW OF PLATFORM.

al shall not nsrepresent the eitua-
ton, or appeal for votes for the ticket
upon false grounds. A Democratic
victory will mean VERY LITTLE, IF
ANY, PROGRESS on economic cues
tions SO long as the party Is under
the control of the Wall Street ele-
ment. The LABOR PLANK
as prepared by Judge Parker's
friends on the subcommittee was
straddllns, meaningless plank. 4
= 9 The nomination of Judge Par.
3ker VIRTUALLY NULLlFiES The
PLANK" - William:
Jennings Bryan, IN ''TI he Common
err July 1s, 1so4
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11
Who Will Be President?

Some persons do not seem to I'M
derstand how to vote in the West
Vfrginian's guessing contest. 1t is
really very simple proposition and
easily understood. On page eight will
be found a coupon which may be used
in sending in your estimate. The
guesses are coming in right along
now, so send yours in before you for
get it. Do not forget the offer to give
person guesses for getting new
subscribers. Read the offer over
again and send in the guesses.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11
A-A-~-@
100000 TO WAGER.
AS there has been more or

g AS there has been more or O
less talk in certain quarters
f. about the weakness of some q
of the Republican candidates,
q a responsible party who has O
confidence in their ability to
a win, and faith in the cause O.
they represent, has placed
d with the West Virginian the O
sum of 100000 and author
> lied it to make the following @
wagers: ...m.
~ S1,ooOoO q
That Harry Shaw Will be elect
s. ed Prosecuting Attorney and O.
the whole Republican county
a. ticket with him. o
s1,ooooo
q That C. w. Swisher will be O.
elected Secretary Of State and
T. the whole Republican State O
ticket with him.
a S1,ooooO O
[ That Roosevelt will carry
q West Virginia and be elected O.
President.
* $2,ooO.oO O.
That he will win all three
q bets. @
Any person desiring to in
o. vest hisN money in the man O
ner indicated may take any
a one or all of the bets. O
&-@-9-~-D-<-<-@
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11
opera House, Restaurant.

The Opera House Restaurant has
opened up again and will serve it's
customers as usual in frst-c1ass style.
1t is for both ladies and gentlemen.
ALVA HAWKINS,
Manager. Z
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11
BALTIMORE = OHIO ! RAfLRoAns
Very Low Rate sunday Ezxeursl
Tickets on sale May

Effective May Is and continuing
every Sunday hereafter fur
Their notice. the Baltimore Ohio
Railroad will place On sale excurs
tickets between atoms of 1heelings
and Grafton. good going East bound
on regular train No. ~ leaving
mont atst10:52 49, NJ and
no regular trains NO 71s55, leaving
Grafton 1910 noon, and so
and good going Vest bound eguIars
train No. S, leaving airnont
A. NJ. and returning on aim
No 4, leaving Whee1tng
NJ. For tickets and fuIl IN
call on ticket agent isg
IT, 3. HEryDERSQN.
Their modish elegance indi dual
ICES the foot Dorothy sDodd
women. IN s,s
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11
BALTIMORE SAL. & OHIO RAILROAD
70 the Worlds Fair, Very Low Rates.

70 the Worlds Fair, Very Low Rates.
5Ss Various forms of excursion tickets
10 St Louis via Baltimore & Ohio
Z Railroad, now on sale from Fairmont
as follows:
Season tickets, good to return until
December 15, 1904. to be sold daily at
5gate Of S26.so, round trip.
sixty day excursion tickets, final
mint not later than December Is, 1904.
4 to be sold daily at rate of $22.35, rodnd
Zip
3 fifteen day excursion tickets, to be
told daily at rate OF s1s.75, round trip.
variable route excursion tickets.
Seither season or sixty day, will be sold
going via one direct route and return
Ing via another direct route, full infor-
nation concerning which can be OBJ
famed from ticket agent.
9 8top-overs, not exceeding ten days
lat each point will be allowed at Wash
5sngton, Deer Park, Mountain Lake
Park, Oakland and Mitchell, Ind, (for
French Lick and West Baden Springs)
within return limit, upon notice to
conductor and deposit Of ticket with
depot ticket agent Immediately upon
arriva,-
$ stop-overs not exceeding ten days
VIII be allowed at st. Louis on all
onesway Except Colonists' tickets to
the Pacific COAST and round trip tick
ets reading to points beyond st. Louis,
upon deposit OF ticket with Validating
Agent and payment of fee OF SLIGO.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

United States Senators.
Stephen B. E1llins and Nathan B
Scott.
Representatives In Congress.
First Observation-Disclosures b Dove
ner.
Second district-Alston G. Dayton
Third district-Joseph Fl. Gaines.
Fourth district-Harry C. Wood
yard
Fifth district-James A. Hughes.
State Government
Governor-Albert B. White.
Secretary OF State-Wm. NJ. Q. Daw-
son.
Superintendent of Schools-Thomas
c. Miller.
Auditor-Arnold c. Scherr-
Treasurer-Peter Silman.
Attorney General-Romeo H. Freer.
Adjutant Generals. B. Baker.
Commissioner of Banking-M. A.
Kendall.
Commissioner of Labor. v. Bar
tom
Chief Mine Inspector. w. Paul.
Supreme Court of Appeals.
George Poffenbarger, president;
Henry C. McWhorter, Henry Brannon,
Marmaduke Fl. Dent, Warren Miller.
Clerk-William B. Mathews.
County Government.
Judge of the Circuit Court, Second
Judicial Circuit-John w. Mason.
Judge of the intermediate Court
U. S. Kendall.
Prosecuting Attorney-Char1es Pow
ell
Sheriff-Marcellus A. Jolliff.
Clerk of the Circuit Court-R. B.
Parrish
Clerk of the County Court-Geo. NJ.
Jacobs.
County Surveyor H. Wilcox.
County Superintendent of Free
Schools-Carter L. Faust
Assessors = James l.. Hayhurst,
Eastern district; J. B. West, Western
district
Legislators.
State Senators-Charles w. Swisher
and Ira E. Robinson.
Members of House of Delegates
Howard R. Furbee, ]. o. McNeely and
Amos o. Stanley.
County Court.
w. E. Cordray. president: Festus
Downs, S. E. Fleming.
Fairmont District.
Justices of the Peace-L. G. Ben
nington, E. s. Amos.
Constables-L. c. Jones. F. NJ.
Swisher.
Board Of ducatlon-Fairmont indie
pendent District.
E. NJ. Showalter, president; o. S.
NJ. J. Lantz; T. w. Boyd
ston, secretary.
b. City Government.
Mayor-George w. Kinsey.
City Clerk. Engle.
City Co1lector-Char1es L. Barnes.
City Treasurer. E. Powell.
City Engineer. NJ. Prickett-
City Assessor-S. e. Billingslea-
City Solicitor-A. o. Stanley.
Chief OF Fire Department.. Frank
Reed. ~
Water COMMISSIONER. Howard
Swisher.
street Commissioned Geo. q. Rich
ardson- NJ f5s
Health omcer larry Robinson.
\ Chief Of Police James 3. Morgan.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

Buy your lime. Cumberland, Port
land cement, at ], T.. Halls Hard
ware Store. 5 54 /. 4 =
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

Magnificent coaches, sleeping cars,
cars and unexcelled din
ing car service.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

Three solid vesubuied trains are
run daily from Pittsburg, Wheeling
and Columbus via Cincinnati, to ST.
Louis. H"
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11
SOLD By . a moEfresh's Cash Grocery, RivesviIle

run daily from New York, Philadel-
phia, Baltimore and Washington, via
Parkersburg and Cincinnati to ST.
Louis
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

For illustrated folder, time table
and full information, call at ticket
Office, Baltimore & Ohio Railroad.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

The Southern District.
Judge-Benjamin r. Keller.
CIerll-Edwin NJ. Keatley.
District Attorney-George w. Atkin.
son.
Assistant District Attorney-Eiliott
Northcott-
U. S. Marshal-John X. Thompson.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

M Season tickets, good to return until
December Is, 1904, to be sold daily at
rate Of S26.So, round trip.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

% 5$s Various forms of excursion tickets
10 st. Louis via Baltimore & Ohio
Railroad, now on sale from Fairmont
as follows:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

Why not let the Marion Claim
,gency collect that claim for you? ~
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11
'TH E IS GIL IEAll
OFF CIAI. DIR ECTOR''Y

President OF the United States
Theodore Roosevelt, OF New York.
s Secretary of State-John Hay, Of
Ohio
Secretary OF the Treasury Leslie
NJ Shaw, of Iowa
Secretary of yvar---Wm. H. Taft, OF
Ohio.
Massachusetts,.
Postmaster General - Henry c.
Payne, of Wisconsin.
Secretary of the Navy-Paul Nor
ton. of Illinois.
Secretary OF the Interior Ethan
Allen Hitchcock, OF Missouri
Secretary of observation-disclosures
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

's Sixty day excursion tickets, final
Eimit not later than December IS, 1904.
TO be sold daily at rate of s22.35, round
rip-
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

i F,Thre.ee sold eestibuled trains are
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-10-11

Wherever we haveno aqen, own
you shown d o
6
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
How He Cooked 1t.

Roast beef which happens to be rare
has been at times turned into we'll
done meat with rapidly that the lay
patrons Of restaurants could not I'M
derstand. Yesterday one Of the men
in a restaurant who had cut away a
piece Of roast beef observed to the
waiter that he regretted it was so
rare.
"I'll fix that all right" said the wait
er, taking up the plate.
But I've cut it," was the answer.
That seemed to make no difference,
for the waiter carried off the beef.
He returned presently bearing a slice
that looked quite different. But when
1t was cut the meat was just the same,
although it was dark outside. The
waiter was panied that the guest
should be in the least dissatisfied.
why, l never worked in .restau-
rant in my life where it wasn't the
customary to make the roast beef well
done by holding it in boiling water"
said he with an injured air. That's
what we always do when we have to
take it back for a customer"
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
ALL BEARS LIKE PEANUTS
Favor of the Animals May Be Secured
by Feeding Them with Coolers.

Favor of the Animals May Be Secured
by Feeding Them with Coolers.
All bears appear to like peanuts,
whether the beasts come from southern
regions, where the peanut grows, or
from the mountains Of the frozen north,
where the peanut is quite unknown.
If the taste for peanuts is not implant-
ed In them naturally they acquire 1t
very readily, as is shown, for example,
bv the grizzly and the polar bears in
the menagerle in Central Park.
The big grizzly comes to the front
of it's great cage in the bear den and
thrusts it's nose between the bars and
opens It's cavernous mouth, thus
affordinc to visitors an opportunity
of indulging in the sport of throwing
peanuts down its throat. This Is
pleasure that appeals chiefly to
children.
But those who try it don't always
succeed in tossing the peanut into the
bears mouth There Is a railing IN
front of the cage that keeps the peo-
ple at a little distance and the
chlldren's fear is likely to make them
nervous, and SO their aim Is uncertain.
Therefore the peanut may hit the gr1z-
zly's nose instead of going straight IN
to its mouth, or it may hit one Of the
bars of the cage and fall outside on
the stone in which the bars are I'M
bedded.
But when the children throw more
peanuts and when they have thrown
all they have and have seen the grizzly
eat all it caught they have another
sight waiting for them that pleases
more, If possible, than it did to see the
hear catch the peanuts in its mouth
When no more are coming to it the
grizzly lifts one of its big paws and
thrusts it out through the bars as rar
as it can reach on the stone ledge and
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02

eyes were wet with tears, but with set
lips and steady hand she dropped the
little white envelope into the mail box.
The next morning the slender circlet
of pearls on her left hand was missing,
and for many weeks her smile was
rare indeed.
One day, late in December, when she
was rushed with work, she told the
girls she was going to work an extra
hour. For a time she clicked away on
my white keys, but soon her fingers
began to move more slowly. Suddenly
with a great sob she buried her face
in her arms and the tears came I'M
checked.
AS she sat there, crying bitterly, the
door opened softly, and someone came
quickly to her side
Ruth dear little Ruth" said husky
voice, and tender hands raised her fair,
tear-fushed face and kissed it.
20, Jack, jack" she sobbed, cling
ing to him, while he lavished caresses
and loving words upon her.
II saw the light and couldn't help
coming up" he murmured. Can you
forgive me, dear? These weeks have
been so long and lonely"
But for answer she only chung closer
to him, and sobbed from sheer happi-
ness.
Ruth and Jack are married now and
this is my last day in the office, for
tomorrow l am to be taken to their
new home, to be the especial property
of Mrs. Jack. Surely could ask for
no happier fate than to be always near
nv little mistress, who has been dearer
to me than ever since the night when
l alone witnessed the reconciliation
between her and Mr.. Jack.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02

sweeps up and gathers in the peanuts
that have fallen there and eats them.
To see the beast eat the peanuts it
catches is amusing as well as interest
ing; to see it stretch out through the
bars that ponderous and powerful, paw
is most startling.
The polar bear comes up and thrusts
its nose through the bars for peanuts
in just the same way, and it CLEANS
those that fall outside in the same man
ner, with this addition, that besides
thrusting out it's big whitehead paw
between the bars to rake in stray pea
nuts that have fallen outside it some
times for this purpose thrusts out it's
tongue.
The grizzly bear eats the kernels Of
the peanuts only and rejects the shells;
the polar bear eats them shells and all.
But the grizzly has been here the long
er time-perhaps the polar will come
to be equally fastidious. All bears,
grizzlies and polars, as well as those
from milder climes, appear to be fond
Of peanuts-New York Sun.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
A TYPENRITER'S STORY.

7S7 OW well l remember the day
In when l first came into the Office,
~ right from the factory, with my
enamel black and shining and my
nickel trimmings untarnished! 1t was
late in the afternoon when l arrived
and the Office was deserted. I was
rather lonely that first night, for l
missed the lively chatter to which /
had been accustomed, and the new oak
desk to which l was securely fastened
seemed somewhat unsociabie.
The next morning l was abruptly
awakened by babel of girlish voices
and soon one Of the speakers sat down
at my desk and drew me out into the
light When glanced rather fearfully
Into her face l was treasured, for her
brown eyes were very pleasant and
kind and l found the touch Of her
hand light and practiced.
How fast those little fingers would
ny over my white keys, as my carriage
slipped back and forth over the sheets
or paper! l grew very fond Of my lit
OF me. Sometimes when thick pile of
letters lay on the desk waiting for an
answer, her fingers moved SO swiftly,
yet unerringly, that marveled at her
skill.
grew to understand her moods, just
by the expression of her brown eyes.
"hen she was happy they would laugh
30 merrily; when she was angry they
would flash with defiance; but when
she was sad they would hide under
ner long, dark lashes, all the happy
light In them gone.
Every few days the mail brought her
letter, at sight of which she would
suddenly grow quiet and thoughtful,
and her face would take on a sweet
gravity which we'll became her. One
gay as she furtively opened the cover
OF her little enamel watch l caught a
sIlmpse OF a mans face with eager,
uafk eyes and firm mouth and chin.
One day tall, athletic young fellow
came into the office, whose face I In
SANITY recognized as that hidden in the
"atch. They greeted one another with
quiet We'll, Ruth" and How are
you Jack?" but their hands and ewes
met simultaneously.
he could not be called handsome
out there was character in every line
ol the rather rugged features. He car
lieu hlmself very erect, with a master
1ul air and slight touch of hauteur
-, lney went out together, and 1 was
ldle for the rest of the day. The re-
mainder of the week Ruth was unus-
ually gay, humming happy little
Snes of song, and now and then
laughing softly to herself.
a. several months passed by. One day
th he mail brought her a letter thinner
o1an usual. Her cheeks flushed hotIv
as 40 sne read it. and her eyes grew dark
h WIN anger. Without rejecting upon a
hasty decision. her fingers tapped out
ro 'ack-Your letter received. Since
DHu uld not trust me, have no ex-
onn "alion to make to you. Consider
viii engagement at an end forever. I
will return your ring at once.
In su,. RUTH"
An spite of their flashing, the brown
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02

It is easier to make bluff than 1t Is
to make good.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
RELIANCE.

Not to the swift, the racej
Not to the strong, the flight;
Not to the righteous, perfect grace;
Not to the wise, the light.
But often faltering feet
Come surest to the goal,
And they who walk in darkness meer
The sunrise of the soul.
A thousand times by night
The Syrian hosts have died;
A thousand times the vanquished right
Has risen glorifed.
The truth the wise man sought
Was spoken by child;
The alabaster box was brought
In trembling hands defled.
Not from my torch, the CLEAN,
But from the stars above;
Not from our hearts, life's crystal
stream,
But from the depths Of Love.
Atlantic
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
1rdustrious smokers In Holland.

Holland holds the first place in the
world as a nation Of smokers. Every
Dutchman consumes on an average
100 ounces of tobacco a year. The
Belgian comes a good second, with an
annual consumption of eighty ounces,
followed closely by Turkey with seven
ty ounces and the United States with
sixty ounces. Germany, France, Spain
and Italy tread closely on their heels,
while the United Kingdom comes COM
naratively low on the list with twenty
three ounces,
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
PREAcHEDTO HIS DRIVER.
Jehu Was the Only Auditor Addressed
by Near Sighted Clergyma

Jehu Was the Only Auditor Addressed
by Near Sighted Clergy man.
The chapel Of a northern fishing
village used to depend for its services
on the occasional help of the clergy
of the nearest town. One very wet
Sunday the clergyman who volunteer
ed to do the duty drove over in a
fly.
Tolling the chapel bell himself, he
announced his arrival to the natives,
but for long time no one appeared.
At last one solitary person came in
and took a seat at the very back Of
the chapel. The clergyman then found
his surplice and conducted the service.
That ended, he remarked to his audi
ence of one that perhaps q sermon
was supertiuous.
"Oh, please go on, sir" was the fiat
tering reply, and the clergyman mount
ed the pulpit.
In the course of his address he ex-
pressed the fear that he was wearying
his nearer and was gratitled to be told
that he could not be too long. The
sermon, consequently was heightened
out to some forty minutes.
When it was ended the preacher
expressed a desire to shake hands
with q gentleman who had listened to
him with such evident appreciation.
Imagine his CONSERVATION at discover
ing Oh nearer view Cfor he was some
what short sighted that he had been
preaching to the driver Of his fly, who
was all the while charging overtime.
Tit Bits.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
Was SelfCentered.

Miss Beemer-Who is your favorite
poet, Mr.. Weaver?
Weaver (who is addicted to versify-
ing)-Really, don't you know, / think
1t might appear egotistical for me to
answer that question frankly-Boston
Transcript.
The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
MadeIt Warm for Him.

She-And did her face light up?
Arthur-In a way. Her eyes snap
ned fire and her cheeks burned with
rage.-Town Topics.