davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
CUPID AND THE COOK.

There is an old adage that says the
way to a mans heart is down his
throat; which means that love is often
pretty much a matter Of stomach. Miss
Mary Hart of Illinois doubtless stands
ready to indorse the adage. She is
reputed among her acquaintance to
be a remarkably pretty and vivacious
girl. She can do a cakewalk in fine
style, can sing a ragtime song in
manner that will bring the applause
of the audience, and can read through
from cover to cover any novel that
was ever written by Laura Jean Lib
hey or Mrs. Southworth. In addition
to this she can repeat, word for word,
many of the poems of Ella Wheeler
Wilcox. Nominally, therefore, Mary
ought to make a most desirable wife
and her accomplishments ought to rec
ommend her to any young man in
search of a wife.
Marys beauty some time ago at
tracted the attention OF a young man
who for convenience may be called
John Smith. Since she was so comedy
to look upon, John had a strong in
clination to make her Mrs. Smith. But,
being a hard-headed sort of fellow,
he desired to ascertain previous to the
closing of the contract just how far
Mary's accomplishments extended. He,
therefore, through clever manipulation.
arranged it so that he would be in
vtted to eat dinner of Mary's cook
ing. John will never forget that din
ner, and neither will Mary.
The soup was half done. watery and
| decidedly unpalatable. John hoped
better Of the fish. But he was disap-
| pointed. 1t was burned on one side
and raw on the other. Then he look
ed forward to the roast in eager an
! ticipation of the redemption OF the
other courses. But again disappoint-
ment was his lot. He then pitched his
hopes on the salad, but that was, If
possible, worse than what had gone
before. And the dessert was the worst
OF all. After the meal John was frank
enough, and brutal enough, to tell
Mary that he knew of 1O-year-ol girls
that would take a handicap and beat
her a mile in cooking. and that he
guessed he wouldn't call any more.
Mary was indignant and threatened to
bring suit against John for breach of
promise. But better council prevailed.
Had John told the experience of his
dinner to jury. there is little doubt
of what the verdict would have been.
Mary, it is alleged, has LEFT off rag
time songs and Libbey novels for the
time being, and is regularly attending
a cooking school.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
Who Saw 1t First.

Jim and Fred. brothers of six and
four years Of age. were fond of argu-
ments between themselves. says the
Chicago Record Herald. They were
arguments that never went beyond the
Nordy stage. but on occasion became
somewhat heated.
They We're out one day with their
nurse when they happened to pass an
old house that was a landmark in the
neighborhood. Instantly the spirit of
dispute was aroused Said Jim the
elder; "I saw that house first"
Fred picked uD the gage of battle
promptly and replied: mo, you didn't;
saw it before you did,"
mo, you didn't" persisted Jim. II
saw 1t before you were born, cause
I'm older than you and passed by here
fore you were born
This was convincing, even to Fred
infantile mind, and for some time he
was silent. Then after a pause he an
nounced trtumphantly: II don't care
If you are the oldest, saw it before
you. When l was dust blew by this
house and saw it,"
Jim WAS silent.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
story of Ganymede,. birth.

A professor in a Western college
says Lippincott's, while giving an ex-
animation in mythology in a country
school, called upon a bright looking
girl and asked the following question:
Who was Ganymede?"
Promptly came the answer: "Gany-
mede was the son of Olympus and an
eagle"
The class teacher blushed for her
pupil and exclaimed, why, Eliza
BETH Where did you learn that?"
Indeed, it says so in the book re-
piled the girl.
The professor then asked the girl to
find the place and read the paragraph
aloud, whereupon the class was both
astonished and delighted to learn that
Ganymede was borne to Olympus by
an eaEle.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13

August Hermann. the president Of
the national baseball commission, Is
heartily opposed TO child labor, says
the Boston Post.
Child labor" he said recently, is
an interesting subject to me. 1 like
TO talk about il TO manufacturers and
to factory inspectors. / get from these
men a good deal OF valuable and
striking Information.
A factor inspector IN the South told
me once little episode about child
labor that made me laugh. There was
also IN this episode, however, food for
sober thought.
The man said that he went one day
10 examine a mill that was notorious
for its employment OF children under
the legal age. Wind of his coming
somehow reached the mill ahead of
him, and the little fellows were slowed
away in various hiding places. Thus.
on his inspection, he found a number
of idle children, but no children under
age.
He went proving about suspicious
ly, for he knew that he was being de-
ceived. In the stockroom he noticed
a big packing case, and going over to
it he lifted up the lid. Inside sat a
little chap of s or years.
The inspector looked down at the
boy. The boy looked up at him, and
frowned and shook his head.
What are you doing in there ?
said the man.
Shut your mouth, you fool, and
put the lid down." the boy whispered.
Don't YOU know the inspector S
q bouf pr
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
TRUSTS AND POLITICS.

Since the election the opinion has
been expressed quite often in the pub
lie prints that il viii be q difficult
matter 20 bring trusts under control,
to make them comply strictly with the
antitrust laws, for the reason that
they contribute 50 literally 10 the cam
pafgn fund OF the dominant party
that there Is a willingness to deal
leniently with them.
No doubt there is some truth IN this
statement A party that receives fav-
ors from trusts cannot very well re-
fuse favors TO them As a matter Of
fact, however. are the authorities dis
posed to treat trusts more kindly than
the voters are? Can opposition TO
trusts ever be made really strong
campaign Issue?
This question is asked because OF the
fact that the fight which the Demo-
cratic party made against trusts in the
campaign this year had little or no
effect There IS no doubt that Judge
Parker made It as clear as 1t was pos
sible to make anything that he was
the opponent of trusts. and that If
elected would use all of the power Of
his Office to make trusts comply with
the laws. The arguments against
trusts. however. seem to have made
no impression whatever.
And isn't there reason why they
didn't? Isn't 1t fact that the trusts
securities are held by nearly all classes
Of people? There is no doubt of course
that the rich own trust stocks and
bonds and there IS every reason to
think the poor put their little savings
into them. Not long ago the state
ment was made that there were over
forty thousand holders of the shares
of the steel trust Assuming there are
that many in one trust how many are
there In all of the trusts? 1t is known
there are many thousands in the sugar
trust and tens of thousands in the great
railroad combinations.
And then are not about all Of the
wage earners employed by trusts and
great combinations of capital in SYM
pathy with trusts and these combi-
nations? Do not these wage earners
argue that they get better pay than
if the trusts and combinations were
broken up and there was very general
cut throat competition? If it be fact
that they do. is It not fair assump-
ton that the owners of the shares and
bonds OF the trusts and great combi-
nations of capital and the employees
of the trusts and combinations COM
prise pretty nearly, II not quite half
Of the voters? If 1t is, what chance
is there TO elect a president pledged
to crush the trusts? And In this cal
culation no account Is taken of the
money alleged to be spent by trust and
combinations of capital to control cleo
tons in their own interests.
The government is pressed to enforce
the laws against trusts because their
danger is we'll understood, but the in
ference to be drawn from the result
OF last weeks election is that the peo-
pie, while they are ready to talk against
trusts, are not 50 ready to vote against
/ them.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13

Senator Joe Blackburn of Kentucky
tells of a good old Methodist minister
in his state in the pioneer days who
was a considerable scrapper, says the
Washington Times.
'One day." says the Senator, after
the parson had found it necessary to
administer fistic punishment to several
young toughs who persisted in disturb
ing the meeting at one of the
churches which he served, one Of his
flock, noted as being something of a
hard hitter himself, got up in meet
ings and said:
1T is a solemn duty of this here
congregation to stand by Parson John
son. He does not seek trouble, but he
will not show the white feather when
trouble is forced in his way. I believe
that, unrestrained by divine grace,
Parson johnson can whip any man in
Kentucky. The Lord is with him.
Let us pray"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
THE TALK OF PEACE.

There is talk Of peace between Rus
STA and Japan by the neutral nations
because they see the time has come
for steps to be taken in the direc-
ton of bringing the war to an end.
The Japanese, as soon as they have
taken Port Arthur, will be in posses
sion Of about all for which they have
all OF maritime Manchuria, and all the
country for long distance inland.
The surrender of Port Arthur cannot
be delayed much longer, and then,
probably, Japan win announce her
readiness to treat for peace on the
basis that both parties to the war shall
evacuate Manchuria.
1t is not believed that Russia will
respond favorably to such an an
nouncement. She doubtless entertains
the opinion that having so much great
err resources than Japan she can wear
her out" as it were, and that even
tually she will have her way by sheer
force of numbers. In that opinion she
may be mistaken. The Japanese are
not lacking in staying powers. In
respect to their fighting qualities the
Russians are already satisfied,
Is Russia placing dependence upon
her Baltic fleet? 1t hardly seems pos
sible Port Arthur is certain to fall
before that feet can be of service to
II. Besides, after Admiral Togo had
paid his respects to the feet It would
not be in a condition probably to be
Of much service to Port Arthur, even
If that fortress should be in need OF
assistance from it.
Russia doubtless realizes that II
would be the wise thing to do at this
time to let it be known that media
tion would be acceptable to her, but
to think of peace with such loss OF
prestige as she has suffered. She may
have to accept mediation under cir
cumstances more humilfating thar
those which now exist.
Strongly as the neutral powers
think the time has come for steps In
the direction of peace, they will not Of
Ter TO intervene until they nave as
surances that such an offer would b,
acceptable. 1t looks as IL there viii
have to be more fighting before Russia
will be ready to talk peace.
1t is not probable that anything will
come Of the correspondence that is be-
ing conducted between Queen Alexan,
dra and the Gar. In London the opin
ion is expressed that 1t may opeI
the way for intervention. but It Il
doubtful II much confidence is place.
in that opinion. Our government ant
that of Great Britain are ready I,
do what they can to bring abou
peace, but they think 1t would be /
mistake to offer their services unit
they know they would be accepted.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13

him is accepted by his colleagues Of
both parties.
Senator Cockren is now 70 years Of
age. and at the end Of his term next
March viii have served full thirty
years in the Senate-five continuous
terms. There is only one other senator
who has served longer. namely. sena-
tor Allison, who is in his sixth term.
Another distinguished Missourian,
Thomas H. Benton. served thirty years,
and rounded out his career by writing
his experiences in that body, work
that il frequently consulted by public
men and is held in high repute.
Senator Cockren is one Of the SEN
ators who is always at his post Of
duty. There are many men in the
Senate who are more showy-that is,
who attract more attention by their
oratory or their wealth. or their Pc
culiar characteristics. but there is no
one that commands greater respect or
who is more conscientious in the dis
charge OF his duties.
If the people of Missouri had voted
directly for senatorial candidates they
would have reelected Mr.. Cockrell.
They have nothing against him On
the contrary, they admire and respect
him, but they voted for members of
the Legislature and that body elects
senators. For one reason or other
they wanted a change in its political
coronIaxion IT Is because the Legis-
lature is Republican that Mr.. Cockrell
win not be given another term in the
| Sonata
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
TIPS A WAITER RECEIvED.
From Tit-Bits.

Jacques of the Carlton Hotel, known
as "the best head waiter in Europe, :"
invited me up 20 his room az the top
of the house, where he unlocked a
heavy steel cabinet and displayed the
finest collection Of tips probably in
the world.
This is just to show you that every
pour-boir we walters receive is not in
hard cash." he said.
There were jewelled pins. cuff links
and shirt studs, gold and silver cigar
cigarette cases and match boxes; ivory
curios, a book or two and a lot Of au-
tographs.
AT the time OF the late Queens
funeral, and again at the time of the
coronation Of the King" said Jacques.
this hotel was packed with poten-
tates and mobiles from all over the
earth. If the total of tips given here
in those days had actually amounted
to 10 per cent. of what those folks
paid in restaurant bills we would all
be rich. AS a matter of fact, the tips
scarcely average per cent. of the res
taurant receipts at any time, yet many
of my walters make ego or more a
week, and some of them possess more
available cash than some of the pa
irons whom they serve.
That beautiful scaTfpin was given
to me by the Alake of Abe something
or-other only a few weeks ago, and
these studs were given to me by the
German Minister of the Interior not
ten days ago. Then here's a watch
charm given to me years since by
Prince Henry of Prussia; that cigar
cite case was handed to me by a
Grand Duke of Russia after l had
served a dinner for him of thirty COW
ers- Here are the autographs of Lord
Rosebery, Mr.. Balfour and Mr.. Cham
oertain. An American gentleman Of
tered me little fortune just for the
autographs, and another American,
Mr.. Carnegie, gave me this book on
How to Succeed"
What do 1 prize most? Thisl" And
jacques opened a wardrobe and took
out dress coat. I'D like he said
to give that coat back to the one who
gave 1t to me. He was a young Eng
llsh lord. He went broke in this ho-
tel, and rather than go away without
tipping me he gave me this dress coat.
he mad no money and had to leave
MS luggage to cover his bill. He wens
TO America and made name there"
jacques was now sharpening his pen
Gil With little golden pocket knife
Ehat a tip. too?" I asked.
Grown Prince of Sweden" he re-
piled, dropping the knife back in his
POCKET, where there was a Jingle OF
golden soYereigns that represent the
packoone of the tipping system.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Washington Post Qnd.) says:
what the South needs is a set Of lead
ers who can lead-not a mere medium
for the communication of orders from
Wall street and Tammany Hall. Surely
the stock that produced Toombs, Yam
cey. Stephens, Clay, Ben Hill, Lamar
and Hampton has not wholly vanished
from the earth"
The Philadelphia Record CDem.)
says: Though defeated. Alton B. Par
ker comes out OF the campaign pure
and unscathed in reputation and honor
What Is more, so far from being dis
mayed or discouraged he loses not a
moments time in delivering an earnest
and inspiring appeal to the Democracy
to renew the conflict with the tariff
fed trusts that are absorbing the
wealth of the nation Instead OF sulk-
ing In retirement he rejoices his sin
cere admirers by the promise TO enter
political life more fully than ever be-
fore. His open letter TO the Democ-
racy OF the nation will be cherished as
words of wisdom until the time shall
come for redeeming them by the united
voice. of the party"
The New York World CDem.) says:
Secretary Tart Is the nrst OF the Re-
publican leaders to kick the clouds
from under his feet and get back to
earth. The danger IN the case OF such
a victory he says, Is that II will lead
10 a relaxing OF the self-restraint that
is more certain to be exercised whom
the danger OF a political change is
more probable We have seen no
symptoms OF any great self-restraint
on the part Of the Republican majori-
~ for the last eight years, but the
danger which Secretary Taft warns his
party against IS nevertheless real. As
a possible candidate for the Rcpubli-
can presidential nomination In 1908. the
Secretary IL naturally golicitOus about
the sobriety OF his party. He can see
what political dellrium tremons may
lend 20, And speaking OF asplrants for
the presidency the World ventures 10
remark that the Republican standard
boarer IN 1908 ~ Tar more likely 10 BE-
william H. Tart Of Ohio than Ellhu
Root OF New York"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
BRIGHT BITS.

Some people insist on referring to
flats as apartments
IT'S wrong" answered the discon-
tented man. They are compartments"
Washington Star.
--Broker-No more margin to put up ?
Why, when the account was opened you
told me you were we'll off.
Lambleigh-So was, but I didn't
know it.-Town Topics.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Do you remem-
Der what I told you last night when
you came home?
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-Good gracious
dearl What sort of a mind do you
suppose I've got?-Yonkers Statesman.
He (reading about the latest So
ciety wedding)-"They have lot to
say about what the bride wears but
they have nothing TO say about the poor
bridegroom" She-"They have no
need to. because 1t is a well-known fact
that he usually wears a worried look. y
Boston Globe.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
THINGS JAPANESE.
From the New York Sun.


Ten years ago Japan exported $3.50
worth Of cotton crepe to the United
States. but now the figure is $780,
yearly. Japan's total export Of crepe
is worth $235,0O0 yearly.
Japanese silk has a fine future In
Mexico, if the Japanese exporters are
more scrupulous as to the quality Of
the silks they send there.
Demand in China for Japanese can
vas shoes, fans, china and antimony
are increasing since the present Far
East war began.
In August. 1904, Japan exported ST.
100000 worth OF manufactured silk It's
sues. against $1,1O0,OO0 worth in Au-
gust, 1903, an increas Of $500 900. There
was also an increase OF $4,000, in the
expectation of silk handkerchiefs. ia
pans total exports in August, 1904,
were of the value of $14,S7S 900. against
SIS, SAT 900 in August, 1903. Such a
small decrease, $669,0o0. in time Of war
is surprising. The falling Off was in
raw silk exported. Tea figures for ST.
900, 900, raw silk for $4,000, 900, cotton
yarns for s1,s5O,0oO. copper for s541,-
900.
Japan's imports in August. 1904.
amounted to $14,221, 000, against s15.7s1.-
900 in August. 1893, a decrease OF only
81, $40 900. This is another surprising
result for war times. The decrease was
mainly in raw cotton. 81 300, 900,
against S2.900000, a falling Off Of ST.
900, 900. Sugar also decreased $3.50, 900,
while wool increased s250.000, and
kerosense oil sS00,o Rice figures for
s., $50 900 total import.
Japanese Formosa did an export
business Of $500, 900 and an import bus
mess OF $3.50, 900 in August 1904 leav-
ing a balance Of $4,000 in favor OF
the Island.
japanese progress is shown IN the
fact that the receipts from her state
forests for timber, firewood, bamboo
and other produce rose from $l2s,OOO
in 1880 to Si,2O4.O00 in 1903. an increase
Of si.O75.000.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
I'm sforare Arnin.

From the Chicago Tribune.
The storage man hoped of his van
and oped the warehouse door;
He slowed away one Bitter Fray, one
Let-the- Eagle-Soar.
Gre lot OF Planks, ten Serted Ranks,
one Stainless Honor's Wreath.
One Roorless Roorback and box of
Hurl 1t in Your Teeth;
He stored a score of Open Door. a gross
of Solid South,
And May My Tongue Ten Cleave Unto
the Roof tree OF Ny Mouth.
Across the planks with jangling clanks
he flung some Labor's Chains;
He tossed beside a point with Pride q
Last Drop in My Veins;
The Nations Hope he tied with rope
and bore within his arms
To where there doomed a mourntlil lot
OF Viewing with Alarms;
A choice array Of Despot's Sway and
Here We Take Our Stands
He wrapped in rolls Of Noble Souls and
Honest Horny Hands.
With Joyous grin he carried in The Pre-
cepts We Pursue.
The Money Kings, and Grating Rings,
and Common Peepul, too;
One Standing Firm, a But-One Term,
the Records OF the Past,
And put them IN the corner with Our
Flags Nailed to the mast.
with hands ungloved he pushed and
showed a gross OF Campaign Lies.
Together with some point and pith
about Our Country's Size.
when ne had slowed away the load he
shut the warehouse door
And fnutterod WHO'D I'm glad we've
through with Nineteen Hundred
Fourl
This campaign stun Is good enough. but
n IL getting worn
I noticed that the Nail the Lie was tat
tered some, and torn;
But, anyhow, it'H over now, and they VI
been put away
Until. perpleNed, We view the next ap.
preaching voting day"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
his teachers Ignoranoe.

"Well, Johnny" asked Mr.. McRobin-
son, 'how do you like your new teach
er? Pretty smart, isn't she?"
NAV" responded Johnny, sourly,
according to the Pittsburg Post 'she
amt"
How do you know"
"She wuz tellin' US to-day that JEFF
fries wuz an English Judge"
We'll, what's wrong with that?"
"Shucks," said Johnny, in deep dis
gust. 'I thought everybody knowed
that Jeffries wuz the American sham
peen pugilist of the worldl"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
DECAY OF sIMLA.
From the AlIahabad PIoneer.

A painful impression is gaining
ground that Simla is not what II was.
Visitors are continually being heard
10 ask. where are the flirtations. the
frisi1y grass widows, the steady bache-
Tors, the rAcy scandaiB-where. IN short,
spot the most delectable IN the East
In those gay days bright eyes earned
more appointments than long service,
a bon mot was even n aurer pass 10
distinction than a relative IN the In
dla Office. We. who remember how the
verb 20 frivol was specially invented
Tor Himla, sigh a. We recall those salad
days.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-13
REGRET ron oooKRELr.

1t is worthy OF notice that even
Republican papers are regretting that
the Senate viii lose Senator Cockreli
OF Missouri as one OF the results Of
tho Roosevelt landslide Of last Tues
day. He is highly regarded both by
members Of his own party and those
Of the Republican party. There are
few as able and conscientious men IN
Congress as he A. in the recently
published memoirs Of senator Hoar
the statement is made that Mr.. Cock
roll f. one Of the ablest and wisesi
men IN the Senate. aud this tribute q