The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-01-28

II Andrew Carnegie bad fitted out 2.
few hundred expeditions to the Arctic
regions, in place of scattering Libraries
here, there or. everywhere, the Pole
would have been found by this time,
inasmuch as there is no dearth OF
adventurous spirits in this or any other
country. Methinks he would have
derived more fame and glory out OF II
now and in years to come.
The quickest way to the Pole is by
ssthe free lunch route!'', The men who
s'ride the rods" don't mind little
thing like cold or darkness, and as for
nerve, they lack nerves, or letter still,
they're all nerve. What they lack is
grub, good grub and spirits moon
shine) and if you can persuade them
there is no work in it, they'd do the
thing up brown in no time.
Speaking of tramps, that Chicago
doctor was not so badly off his tires
when he said that bathing was un-
healthy. Whoever heard of a tramp
dying of apoplexy, heart disease or
phthisisp But, hear you say, the
reason for that is, they go to the poor
house and from there to the potter's
field, and the public never get next.
Wrong again! They get killed on the
blind baggage and in collisions, or fall
off the trucks, or else go to sleep on
the rails, being overmuch inspirited
and careless of their lives, and others
die of old age, but they don't go to the,
potter's field, because they make too
good subjects for the knife at clinics.
And that reminds me. People have
an idea tramps dislike soap and water
and abhor taking bath. But they
don't I've studied the matter and
found the solution! They are just as
human as the rest of mankind, have
the same instincts as to cleanliness,
but-they have not aachange of under
clothing-in fact, they don't carry the.
weapons. Who likes to take bath,
and put on the same dirty linen? Of
, course they might take off their glad
rags, wash them too, and meanwhile 60
nude, but this isn't Japan or China
where both sexes battle together in all
modesty and simplicity and see nothing:
. wrong or immoral in it, because they
have few thousand years the best of
us in experience, knowledge and wis
dom.
But to come back to my first subject,
if the genial promoter, whose money
caused B'Um-Rel to reveal to us the
real story of his marriage to the beggar
maid, will let loose another twenty
J. millions, l will guarantee to find the
r North Pole, and more, I'll establish a
n free lunch-counter for thirteen years
!, (circular), twenty-six free hammOcfIs
# for healthy hams and furnish free
J. hammers for husky knockers. Sore
n head Cynicuses (without their wives)
e to have carte blanche, aud all relations
n to Slowgo given exclusive fishing privi-
Is leges. Think o. it, thou hacker of
n Smooth and Digger, and answer accord
ia ingly.
l. And why shouldn't L? | was born
in the open, bred in the open and will
le soon be again open for trip to the far
"a north, where you don't catch a cold, but
4 seal or a bear Carry my room with
re me and the door too, in hunting polar
N bears? dunno, but 'twould be poor
u sport, besides they'll blockade chap for
m ever and day. Sooner sleepin the deep.
a. or imbedded in coffin of transparent
re ice, staring at the fishes-and no worms
in sight.