davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21
CONVERSATION "DoN'Ts." !"

Don't indulge in personalities. They
invariably return worse than they
started out.
Don't mention family feuds. II EN-.
harnesses the listener, and you are sure
to regret 1t.
Don't talk Of the cost of things. 1t
gives the rich a chance for boastful-
ness and may be embarrassing to the
poor.
Don't tell your personal interests,
occupations, hopes or aspirations. No
body wants to hear them, and you give
your dignity mortal stab.
Don't discuss children. II you have
any the chances are you are boring
those who have not. II you have none.
you are sure to be mortally wOunding
those who have.
Don't discuss dress. The lady whose
evening gown you are scoring may
have come direct from Paris, wearing
the newest thing, and the whole sub,
ject is hopeless one anyway.-Har.
per's Weekly.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

Comment on the above is umneces-
sary. II speaks for itself should the
courts decree that the commission
elected last Wednesday was the lawful
commission. Il would reduce the sal
aries to drive them out Of office, Al
the same time they have been raising
the salaries Of all the democratic on
cials until they are nearly double what
they were Ave years ago. They have
started In on another raise. commsnc-
ing with the auditor and police judge
and are going to raise his salary to $3.50
a month. As soon as the public gets
this digested and gets through kicking,
It viii raise the salaries OF other off,
GERS, until, by salary grabs" and the
police commission. II viii be able 10
raise a SUFFICIENT sack to carry the city
election next December. at which three
councilmen. at least two police COM
missioners, mayor and all the city
officials are to be elected,
There are only two remedies open to
the republicans, and to the large ma
jority OF voters. who are dissatisfied
with the actions Of the common coun-
ell, one Is qua warranto proceedings,
which will be instituted today In the
circuit court, and II that fails. the
passage of the charter OF two years
ago, which was vetoed by democratic
governor at the demand OF the demo-
cratic ring. over the governors veto,
The legislature is strongly republican
and when the facts are submitted to
1t, as it viii be. there is no doubt OF the
passage OF the charter over the gov
ernor's veto.
II the common council persists In
refusing to declare the two offices OF
police commission vacant, one or both
of the means herein outlined will be
resorted TO, but IL the council will con-
serve the interests of the public and
do that which they should do. there
will be no necessity to resort to these
measures. 1t is up to the common
VIII it perform its duty, or
will they be compelled to do It?
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21
A TARTAR TRICkSTER.
the way He Tried 20 Sell . yaIise 60
q Foreigner.


At the annual fair In Mini Novgorod
stepped with German. Russian
friend into saddlery. where he wish.
ed TO purchase u valise. lie picked
out one for which the Tartar mer.
chant named price that was evident
~ much In excess OF Its real value. My
friend was making the usual feint un.
der such circumstances OF leaving the
store when he noticed that the dealer.
with n rapid movement, stuck paper
In the outside pocket OF his yallse. Not
being n greenhorn In Russia, he knew
Immediately what the Tartar was up
20.
But. barln," said the latter, calling
him back, come. Look at the leather
and the lining, silk all through. Please
examine II carefully" He handed the
yalise again to my friend and turned
back to his stock, apparently looking
for other satchels to show. With n sly
wink my friend extracted ten ruble
note from the outer pocket OF the va
llse and hid II In his hand. Then he
said: Don't trouble yourself any long.
er. This valise seems to be what you
say II ls, and | will take IT,"
The Tartar grlnned broadly as he
turned around satisfied that his little
trick had succeeded. Then while my
friend pretended TO count out the pur-
chase price he took hold once more Of
the valise Ia order accidentally to dis
cover the bank note In It. shall nev.
er forget his eyes, which bulged out Of
their sockets, or the petrlfed smile on
his face when he found his money
gone He was so bewlldefed that he
stammered like Il drunken man.
THE fellow really ought to get les
son." my friend said to me In German,
while he kept the trickster In suspense
for several minutes before handing
him back the bank note, together with
the valise, which the dealer now Of
fered for less than half Of what he had
demanded befOre-Sigmund Kranz In
Booklovers' Magazine.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21
REPUIsCAT EN- PACE.

DR.. Lyman Abbott of New York, an
eminent Congregational minister. de-
clares that the Bible is obsolete. and
not authentic. and he does not believe
in a personal God. but the God of ma
ture. This is the same belief euunci-
.ated by Henry Ward Beecher, Bob In
gersol and other eminent divines. who
have petitioned Lucifer for a pardon
so that they can be admitted TO 10th
er place. The sermon will, however,
have a tendency to increase the army
Of infidels and agnostics, and will have
demoralizing effect on the progress
Of the Christian religion, coming as II
does from such an educated and emf
nent divine as DIR. Lyman Abbott. He
claims that the Bible is no longer to
be accepted as authentic; that the 10
commandments were never promulgat-
ed from Mt Sinai. but are the cause OF
growth and environments, and that a
man is not a creature but creation.
This will afford food for thought and
subjects for sermons by the local
clergy Of Astoria. A refutation Is es-
sential to the cause OF Christianity.
He says that the day of polythenian
is past" Polythenian means "a per-
son who believes in or maintains the
doctrine of plurality Of Gods, or in
VISIBLE beings superior to man. and
having an agency in the government Of
the world" In other words, the theory
of Father, Son and Holy Ghost, are
now obsolete, and man is equal to II
not superior to an invisible God.
On account of our theological edu-
cation having been neglected, and not
being as we'll versed in the scriptures
as those Of the Astoria clergy who
have passed through the trying ordeal
of ordination. to be admitted to prac-
tice in the pulpits Of the various
churches, we are not in a position to
cope with the gymnastic somersaults
of the eminent divine, whose teachings
in the past have been regarded as an
emination Of divine law, and who has
been ranked as one Of the followers of
the Meek and Lowly One whose birth
we are to celebrate next Sunday, and
this startling announcement will come
as a thunderclap from a clear sky, and
will compel the Astoria contingent of
workers in the Lords vine
yard of Astoria to grid on their armor
and prepare to resist the assault which
threatens the foundation Of the Chris
tian religion.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21
Worst Of All Experiences.

Can anything be worse than to feel
that every minute win be your last'
Such was the experience Of Mrs. 8. II.
Newson, Decatur. Ala. For three
yeaEs" she writes II endured insult
cradle pain from indigestion, stomach
and bowel trouble. Death seemed In
evitable when doctors and all remedies
failed. At length / was induced to
try Electric Bltters and the result was
marvellous. I improved at once and
nov I'm completely recovered. For
Liver. Kidney, Stomach and Bowel
troubles Electric Bitters is the only
medicine. Only 50c. It's guaranteed
by Chas. Rogers Druggist.
Go to the New style Restaurant for
square meal.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

The necessity of establishing a light
at the foot Of Ninth street is appar-
ent. Several accidents have occurred
in this vicinity this winter, and the re-
quest was made to avoid further acci-
dents. Between acknowledging the
infallibility of the absent police COM
mission and raising salaries, the coun-
ell has no time to devote to the saw
ing of lives. 1t is possible that dis
pensation of divine providence may be
necessary to awaken 1t to a realizing
sense of the duty it owes the public.
1t evidently goes on the hypothesis
that every man drowned is a republic
an and it don't need them in its busi-
ness as much as 1t does an alien police
commission.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21
To Have Speed Equal to Atlantic
Greyhounds
MAKE 22 KNOTS AN HOUR
Japanese Government Expected 20 In.
crease Subsidy for the Toyo kissn
kaisha 70 Get Fast Mail Boats
for Oriental Ports.

San Francisco Dec, 20,-The ToyC
Kisen Kaisha. whose steamships. tht
Hong Kong. America and Nippon. were
taken for use with the japanese navy
viii soon be In the field again with
three new fast ocean liners. The COM
pany will, Il is said within two
months begin work on three $4,000 ton
steamers. The material for the lin
ers has been bought in Scotland The
vessels win be built at Nagasaki.
II was the intention TO build the lin
ers with speed OF 10 knots, The Jap
anese government, however, wants the
Toyo Kisen Kaisha TO build faster
boats--at least 81 knotters, As this
additional two knots will involve con-
siderable extra expense. the steamship
company has asked for greater sub
sidy than II was originally agreed to
give them. This is now under consid-
Grafton at Toxic and as soon as II Is
settled the keels of the liners will be
laid.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

Portland. Dec. ao.--western oregon
and Western Wednesday
rain: probably part snow.
Eastern Oregon and Eastern Wash
ington-Rain or snow.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

The picture of the late Dan O'Neil
published in yesterdays oregonian, re-
sembles more the before and after
taking" chrome of Lydia Pinkham's ad-
vertisements. There was only three
things that would enable an acquaint-
ance of the popular river purser to
identify him from the picture, and that
is the cap, the button hole boquet, and
the name under the picture. The pic
ture itself looked no more like Dan
O'Neil than Mrs. Chadwick resembles
the czar of Russia.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

the seat In the water wagon to visit
a blacksmith and have his bonds loos-
ened before the yawning grave gath
ers him In.
That will be all for this time.
WEARY WILLIE.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21
BEACH COMBINES.

In New York the betting fraternity
is placing odds today on Nan Patter-
sons acquittal. and she may go free
but unless the former chorus girl
mends her way the betting on her
ultimate destination will be 100 to |
with no takers.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

Speaking OF the dulcet strains OF the
souless pianola. an Astoria lady who
has been compelled to listen to one
Of them tearing on more or less
melodious sonatas. etc. complained
yesterday: Now. just listen to that
thing-that's funeral march now and
the infernal-machine Is playing II In
quick time. oh. well (resignedly)
maybe It was a virulent case OF con
tagious disease and they had to hur-
ry."
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21


newspapers are fiourishing In the face
OF Chief of Police Hunt the fact that
so burglaries have been committed
there since December /. both their edit
tors should calm them with a club
There Is nothing in Portland a strang-
er would steal, and that puts the popu-
latlon in the position of the man who
robbed his own pockets.
o o o
The fishing laws are not the only
ones that Captain Laws constituents
are going to ask him to revise. The
captain Is the new member from Clat-
sop county, and many are the meas
ures for which he has been asked to
become a parent. but the latest Is the
best. The captain went into one of
the beef-tea camps on Commercial
street Saturday for refreshments and
the man with the white apron was re-
monstrating with a salow faced indi-
vldual who was presenting a petition
for matches.
When he saw Captain Laws APP
preaching. a relieved look iloated over
his face like the calm Of oil on troubled
waters, and as ne sat out the captains
glass of milk he said; Captain, II
worked for you like longshoreman at
last election, and ] shed enough sweat
to make high tide look like a vanishing
dew drop, an now there's something !
want you to do for me. Am | on?"
son." replied the solon, except walk
ing up and tickling the speakers chin,
there is nothing won't do for you.
pass the buck"
Il knew IT," said Payne, but what !
want is this: want an iron-clad, cop
chilled-steel law compell-
ing every blamed cigarette smoker In
Astoria to take a wheel-barrow with
him to carry his own matches"
No sooner does DR.. Lyman Abbott
his new creed Of universal
God than the Brazilian legislators rush
to executive session and fran law
excluding from that country all friars,
priests and new religious beliefs. Either
they heard Of the doctor, or else they
have a superior brand of religion there.
Still, no saints have come out Of
Brazil yet, and Santos Dumont is the
only thing from there known to fly, and
his wings are artificial.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

In another part Of this paper will be
found an article read before the New
York Medical Association by famous
exponent of clinical medicine in which
It is stated that drinking water aggra-
Yates nephrltls and produces heart dis
ease. There are but two conclusions;
either the doctor is the victim Of the
insiduous advances of a press agent
for brewery, or else this should be
the signal for every man chained to
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

PRICES: Reserved Seats 3sc Children in Gallery sc Adults
Seat sale opens Saturday morning o'clock Fisher Bros Office
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

Followed on other nights by ;"6rother
Against Brother" "capt Fresh, U. s.
A." Senators Daughter" "Powsr Of
Truth" and Light House Robbery"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21

BY mail. per year, in advance 81 90
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-12-21
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.

THE sEMI.wEEkLy AsroRIAN.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
FATHER oBoYLAN
Enlarges His Ministerial Dis,
tr1ct,

We read with pleasure in the late
issue OF the Newark Advocate that
"With the appreciation OF Rt. Rev.
James Hartley, the Bishop of Co
lumbus, Very Rev. B. NJ. O'Boylan
Is about to establish two new par.
ishes in this city. Fine new build
ings are to be erected IN both East
and West Newark, and each of the
new parishes will be equipped with
modern chapels and schools"
Father O'Boylan Is well known
to our Logan people, for years our
near Straitsville neighbor and often,
indeed always our welcome guest.
Of the times that tried at STRAITS
VILE and at Corning, record Is not
needed In the passing papers. That
the good man, in his ministry has
come to a church charge IN the
most beautiful city IN Ohio, that his
dispensatlon IS widening, is pleasant
for his friends to know. We hope
he will not forget the lads of that
old time who were brought to church
and made good, by methode other
than the ring of a bell or text
from the Book.
The Hooking Valley, in which Fr.
O'Boylan Is SO we'll known for his
good work out on the "dead line."
will join in prayer as in congratu-,
lation, that his years be long cor
tinued and his good works multi
piled.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
OBITUARY.

Margaret Elizabeth Marks was
born June II, 1885, near Steuben.
vile, Ohio. Her parents, Christie
pher and Margaret Ann Marks. emil
grated from Germany to Ohio in 1884,
and to Hooking county in 1885. OF
family of seven children the SUBJ
ject of this sketch was the oldest and
is survived by only two brothers,
George Marks of this place and Phil
ip Marks of Lancaster.
She was united in marriage April
g, 1855 to George J. Hengst. To
this cnion were born ten children.
two of whom, and her husband. pre-
cedsd her in death. Having been
thus bereft of the staff of her earthly
pilgrimage, when her children were
small and needed SO much the pro.
lection and care of father, a greet t
responsibility fell upon Mother
Hengst. Her charge was honorably
and nobly kept. Her footsteps were
above rep,oach. She was the best
of mothers. good neighbor, a de-
voted christian. Although express
ing herself during her sickness in
submission to the will of the Most
High, her greatest sorrow manifested
was her inability to attend church
services.
She was afflicted with Rright's dis.
ease of the kidneys which brought
on the the most distressing form of
dropsey. She was the most patient
of sufferers, never murmuring or
complaining. She has suffered Sc
verely and continuously for over a
year. Death peacefully came and
released her from her pain Monday,
April 18th. 1904. Her remains were
laid to rest in the burial grounds at
Ewing, Ohio, April Goth, to await
the resurrection morn. TIE obse.
auies were conducted by Rev. E. q.
Spoehr.
Her work is done. Her sufferings
are over. She has joined her friends
on the other shore where weeping
and parting shall be no more. Ell.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
Commercial Travellers
A Council Organized in Le>
gan. No. 264-OHi>
GERS Elected.

A council of United Commercial
Travellers was organized in Logan
last Saturday evening. in the K. OF
P. Hall. by officers of Columbus
Council No. /.
The following were initiated: W.
W. Keynes, A. Magoon, Will Sni.
der, Ralph Edmiston, o. Z. Pierce,
A. C. Upton, George Stallsmith, !.
P. Rochester, John Canty, w. H.
Curry, Frank Adcock. BY card:
Frank Brown, Charley Stallsmith,
]. w. Gabriel and L. o. Bort.
The following officers were elected
and installed: Senior Counsellor, j.
w. Gabriel, Junior Counsellor, John
Canty; Past Counsellor, Chas. Stall.
smith; Secretary-Treasnrer, A. C.
Upton; Conductor, Will Snider !;
Page, Ralph Eimiston; Sentinel,
George Gladman; Executive Com
mittee, w. Keynes, A. Magoon,
Frank Adcock. j. P. Rochester.
After the society exercises were
completed the company held a pleas.
ant banquet. prepared by the mem.
bers of the Logan coun Gil.
The association is benevolent and
social IN lite purpose. There are 80
councils now organized with mem.
bership of over 90. 600.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
OBITUARY.

Harry Edward Oatley, son of DR.
j. and Sarah Oatley, died April %
1904, aged 2s years, IL months ano
ls days.
The funeral was from the resi-.
dence of the home of q. Nj. Chase
on April 26th, Rev. White, of the
M. E. Church, conducting the relig.
ious services, the Knights of Pyth.
las, of which order he was an en-
teemed member, being present.
He was q soldier in the late Span
ish war, enlisting June Z, 1898, In
company B, 10th Regulars, and was
honorably discharged February 4,
1908. bis term of service having ex-
pired. From May ], 1901 to De-
.cember Is, 1902 he was IN the mil
itary service in the PHILIPPINES. He
was Corporal of his company, COM
pany G, Regular U. s. Infantry.
and subsequently promoted as First
Sargeant on October IL, 1901.
He was a young man of good
character and much esteemed, and
his death in the early life of prom
ised honor and usefulness will occa-
sion much sorrow among a wide
circle of friends.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
RESOLUTIONS.

Hunting Grounds of Tuscaloosa
Tribe No. So, /. o. r. M, Lo-
gan. Ohio, Sleep of 21st San,
Plant Noon G. S. D. 413, Com
mon Era, April I2th, 1904.
WHEREAS. the Great Spirit and
Supreme Ruler of the Universe has,
in His infinite wisdom, removed
from US one of our worthy and es-
teemed brothers and fellow laborers,
George Deishley, jr., and
WHEREAs. the long and intimate
relations held with him in the faith
full discharge of his duties to this
society, makes it emlnently be6tting
that We record our appreciation Of
him. Therefore,
RESOLVED, that the wisdom and
ability which he had exercised in the
organization by service, contribu-
tions and council in our Wigwam
around the Council Brand, will be
held in grateful remembrance.
RESOLVED, that the sudden re-
moval of such a life from among
our midst leaves a vacancy and q
shadow that will be deeply realized
by all the members and friends of
Tuscaloosa Tribe, and will prove a
sincere loss to society, to the com.
munity and the public.
RESOLVED, that we, the represen-
tatives of brotherhood enrolled
under the loyal banner of Freedom,
Friendship and Charity. unite with
deep sympathy with the bereaved
family and relatives of our departed
Brother, ever bearing IN mind that
''In the midst of life there Is DEATH"
and We express our hope that even
go great loss to us all may be over.
ruled for good by the Great Spirit
who doeth all things we'll.
RESOLVED. that the Charter of
Tuscaloosa Tribe No. SO, Imp'd o.
r. NJ, be draped for the period of
thirty snns, and that copy of these
resolutions be spread upon the rec
ords, a copy printed In the local
newspapers and a copy forwarded
to the bereaved family.
D. H. LAPPEN,
JAMES L. MARTIN,
WARREN SMITH,
Committee.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
Wedding Anniversary,
The Bucyrus Journal of last week

says:
"John Hopley observed his fifty.
sixth wedding anniversary Tuesday
Most of that time has been spent in
Bucyrus aud the majority of years
haye been devoted to newspaper
work as editor of the Bucyrus Jour
MALI Up to a few months ago Mr..
Hopley has been actively engaged
in the management of the Journal
and Telegraph but has of late been
confined to his home by illness"
Mr.. HopIey is known to our older
people as once the very successful
teacher of our Logan schools. Mrs.
Hopley, sister to Mr.. John Roches-
ter and Mrs. g. E. Bowen. is we'll
known in Logan, and the many
friends join in congratulatlon on the
fifsy-sixth wedding anniversary and
hope Mr.. Hopley will soon be re-
stored to health.
The editorial brethren can not be
happy if Hopley is sick. He furn-
isbsd Us with ammunition to use on
himself as we'll as on all other oppos-
ing enemy. 49,
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
Hooking Valley Excursions

Robison's Circus at Lancaster,
Saturday, May 7tb, s. cents for
round trip.
Mansfield and return, May 9th
and 10th. good for return until May
18th Account Improved Order of
Red Men, one fale plus 25cts, for
round trip.
Sunday excursion May 1st. as
follows: Columbus and return 81,
7 A. Nj. and $40 A NJ. Pomeroy
and Gallipolis 81 round trip. Leave
Logan S:2O A. NJ jackson and
Wellston, round trip SOC.
Columbus, Ohio. Friday May
9th, account Ringing Bros. Circus.
The Hooking Valley will sell on a
bove date for morning train tickets
at 81 round trip. Special train
will return leaving Columbus at
6 o'clock P. NJ.
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
GUARDIANS
Sale 0fReal Estate

In pursu ance of an order Of the Probate
Court of Hooking County, Ohio, Will oHer
for sale at public auction on
The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1904-04-28
PROBATE NOTICE.

Notice is herebv given that the following
Accounts and Vouchers have been filed i
the Probate Court of Hooking county, Ohio
ror FIral Settlement, Barbara safer Admin
fStratrlx with the viii annexed of the estate
of Henry Safer deceased in settlement with
the Court ter Hrnry Safer. late admininis-
traitor with Inc will annexed of the estate oi
Lorenz BenSonhaver, deceased, and the same
will come on for hearing on the 10th day OF
May A. d. 1904, AT 10 o'clock a. M, or as soon
thereafter as may be convenient.
F.. p. MARTIN, Probate Judge.
April q. l904-3w.