West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-04-28
THE OLD NAN WILL WORRY ms
WIPE WITH his PtiN> AND
JOKES
But She Makes II Up by Being Speaker
of the House.
/ - /
.Saig< Layanm
.-.-..-l I
NuMBKR TwELvE.
Saig< Lardnm


I've no idea ? Because It's king ?
Pshaw, how silly you are You
took great pains ia making that pump
Which remitids you to ask why my
lex is like the window Oh. get
out You don't want To ? Well.
lie still, then. Because its pane
full Wall. that's true enough.
anyhow; and wish you'd get up
and hand me that hops and vinegar
Now, Rasher. what are YOU litter
ing about ? You were wondering
IT l were not able to go to any
more hops, il the hops would come
to me 2 Do hold your tongue, and
give my limb a good rubbing.
That would be rubber of whist ?
l do believe that kicking Thomas
out of doors has had an enlivenine
effect upon you. You do feel re-
lieved TO be rid of the puppy ?
Master of your own house once
more, and intend to remain so /?
It's remarkable to see you show so
much spirit, Rasher; and l think
none the less of you for it; though
as for Thomas-did you actually
kick him out of doors ? Itboots
not to remember ?
Them hops have a powerful
soothing effect. feel quite drowsy,
and believe can go to sleep if
everything is quiet about the house.
IL you should step into my basin Of
hops in the morning, would the sun
rise in the east ? wish I'd mar
ried man that--never made light
of Ceres matters1 There, go on,
interrupting me in the most intoler
able manner; man that never
punished his wife 1-that never
Why am | like shoemaker l
was not aware that | resembled-
Because | have always have the
last ? Very we'll, let me have il
then. He's snoring now. sure La,
if he amt waking up again What
did you say, husband Why is our
certificate of marriage like the
Evening Bulletin 2 Well, why is il {?
Because it's a noosepaper1 Now.
my love, I'll serve you as you
served Thomas if you don't quit
them exasperating conundrums,
and let me get some rest. Pm
sprained, and can't kick Oh,
you vulgar monster you unre
fined creature you're bear, Rash
err, and you know it or you never
could make such a comparison.
What ? You see mischief a. Bruin,
since I've got to calling you a bear2
Which reminds you to ask why you
and those hops are alike Hops,
again Both abrewin' ? You had
that over once before. wouldn't
repeat myself If | were you Why
are you like my new watch, when
you make the same pun twice Be
cause you're repeater ? Well, l
| ,r;eb ,,c~fd 10 Ill 4, -. - -. -.
spect--I wish for mercy's sake,
you'd run down. Now, husband,
for goodness gracious sake, what
are you about Going to send for a
nurse to come to take care of my
first and only Get back into bed.
/ only hope the cook will leave
without getting you any breakfast
it would serve you right. / guess,
when you get up in the morning,
and find no waiter in the dining
room, no cook in the kitchen, and
not even a FIRE in the furnace
or range, you'll realize what you
have done n the cook does stay
to get breakfast, I'd advise you to
be careful what you eat, and notice
If your coffee has any strange taste,
for she is high.tempefed thing,
and she may put some Of that YER
min destroyer you brought home
lately into your food. You done
believe cook is so old fashioned as
to have pies.on for breakfast ?
There hes really asleep at last
/ wish could drop off as easily.
But must torment myself with
wondering II my jeweiry is all safe,
and what I shall do for a new sci
Of servants. I suppose Rosine will
expect me to make her a present Oh
that new silk, now that I've detect.
ed her getting the first wear Of Il.
| shall tell Mrs Cornell Of that
trick, which viii prevent her taking
her, I hope; for she's so excrucist.
ingly nice about her clothes, she
Won't relish the idea Of her waiting
maid wearing the best Of 'cm every
time she's out; and perhaps the
odor Of an Irish pipe hanging about
the waist Of Il when she goes 70 put
IL on.
! hope Thomas Won't tell about
| 10. .-L-nn Liz. -. NJ. .oaA 90. 90.