Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-02-26
Roses and Potatoes.

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GO HERE are the roses" said Polly,
depositing huge load of Amer
lean Beauties on the table and
laying her muff and stole on pile Of
grocery boxes. "The carnations and
smflax and evergreens are coming
down in the carriage with the Japa-
nese lanterns and the funny little It's
sue paper caps.
We were getting ready for the char
ity dinner at the mission chapel, and,
Of course, Polly was doing the trim
mings. Polly always does the trim
mings.
"But where" said I, gazing on the
great masses Of green and pink, will
they find room for-the potatoes, for
instance"
Potatoes" said Polly, scornfully, as
she took a mass of blue foFget-me-nots,
which she calls a "hat," off her pompa-
dour, and laid it on another grocery
box. 'Those, Mr.. Heavyfeather, will
be considered -afterward, of course"
'Like matrimony, after ceurtship, 1
suppose" sighed, picking up a long
stemmed rose and holding it gingerly
by the tip end.
eyes," said Polly, cor housekeeping
after the honeymoon"
''Or the bill after the dinner"
''There won't be any bill after this
dinner" said Polly, because the dea-
con donated the potatoes and-things,
and kind lady donated the roses and
lent US her teacups"
''How thoughtful of her." remark
ed. Il am sure, those starving little
slum youngsters are just yearning for
roses served in china teacups. Who
was the lady, Polly? A Delsarte pu-
pill with fluffy hair and pink tea man
ner?"
"On the contrary" said Polly, pull
ing the thorns off long green stem
, with the dexterity Of an expert, "she
was a nice, commonsense little thing
with turned-up nose, and violent in
terest in her meals. I distinctly saw
her take three helpings of chicken sal
ad at the ladies' aid meeting
1.-The kind" suggested, who would
spend ten minutes before breakfast
curling her hair and two minutes max.
ing sloppy coffee"
"Yes." said Polly, land who would
spend the whole afternoon planning an
evening bonnet for herself instead of
planning an evening lecture for her
husband; and the whole evening say
ing pretty things and flirting with you
instead of going over the grocery books,
and her whole life making things inter-
esting and pleasant instead Of cutting
down the expenses
"And her declining years." added,
Gin the divorce court instead Of
"Darning sock!' broke in Polly.
"Not half so many divorces" she went
on, "are caused by cold coffee as by
cold dispositions. Whoever heard Of a
man seeking a separation because his
wife let the biscuits burn while she
kissed him in the morning? Nobody!
. But there are dozens Of good cooks
signing for the husbands they forgot
to kiss while they were busy making
batter cakes. 1t is never the woman
who makes good biscuits who lures a
man away from his freside and his
bachelor comforts, but the one who
wears a rose in her hair. Potatoesr'
and Polly jammed a rose down into
the epergne with a scornful shove. You
/ keep potatoes in your kitchen, don't
you-on the shelf? Potatoes are cheap.
You can get them and hire Mary Anne
to cook them for 81 week. But you
don't want them hanging around your
drawing room, nor your dressing room,
nor your den. Now, roses are accept
able anywhere; you like them at the
breakfast table in the morning, at your
desk at noon, and in your button
/ hole"
'I didn't know" said I, that the
modern woman liked to be carried
around in a mans buttonhole- an
adjunct"
"she doesn't" said Polly, "care to
be done brown and dtgested or left on
plate-to be forgotten the moment
she ceases to be useful"
"And," I went on, ignoring Polly's s
outburst, '1f she does want to be orna-
mental as well as useful-even a po-
tato has a blossom, you know"
"a sproutv interrupted Polly.
(which" continued, "a king once
thought lovely enough to wear in his
buttonhole."
Polly picked up a full-blown rose
| with q Jerk that sent hundrad leaves