Evening journal., 1904-06-08
WRONG USEOFW0RDS
MRS mALAPRoP HAS MANY RIVALS
IN MODERN SOCIETY.

tuntinK Conversation With Expre.-
sions ef the Meanings Of which the
Speaker Il ignorant.
Since the days Of sheridan ami bis
immortal play. "The Eivals.T Mrs.
Malaprop has been a synonym for the
ignorant misuse Of words Yet how
many people there are today in real
life who. attempting the use Of words
which are to them unfamiliar. err as
grievously as she was wont TO 10. 4
proper understanding. Of words consli-
tutes one difference between The igno-
rant man and the educated man and
gives the latter an immense advantage
This is admirably Illustrated 10y
well known incident in the life OF Dan
icl O'Coneell, the famous Irish pollt.
zeal agitator Tie story is familiar
but is wen worth repeating in this par
tcular connection.
There was IN Dublin an old apple
woman renowned throughout the city
for her violent temper and FOR the vi
Imperative genius with which she en-
forced her remarks when angry A
perfect food Of billngsgate would pour
from her mouth on such occasions. and
it took very little to call It forth
O'Connells friends made a wager with
him that IN q war of words with the
old woman he would be completely
outdone ia spite Of his we'll known
powers Of oratory. He took up the
wager and on a certain day repaired
with his friends who had stakch their
money against him 10 the vicinity of
the old woman's apple cart This in
an apparently accidental way he man
aged to upset and was assailcd 10y
perfect torrent of abuse. lie retorted
in kind. and the battle was on. The
old woman's yolubiity at first proved
too much for O'Connell. and. much 10
his friends delight. he seemed to be
getting the worst Of it when the tide
turned in his favor by his calling her
an 'isosccles triangle" That floorcd
her. but she was game to the last and
still fought on. But when he called
her a 'parallelopipedon' her emotions
overcame her, and she became speech
less. And so he won Her ignorance
Of the meaning Of ordinary harmless
words proved her undong. for she
read into these polysyllahles the most
outrageous meanings They were cpl. |
thets for which she could find no equiv |
alents.
The misuse Of words is, Of course. !
says a Chicago paper. often source
Of much humor. and funny stories /
without number are told of modern
Malaprops which outdo anything that /
that famous woman ever uttered There /
is well known wealthy woman in |
Chicago to whom are attributed many /
humorous Instances of this failing |
The trouble With such people is that
they do not realize the danger and the /
folly Of getting beyond their depth. /
and in their grandiloQuence they seek /
Tor words Of which they have a very
vague comprehension. The folly Of IL !
all in one sense is pathetic. but il Is al.
ways humorous
The woman just referred 10. once IN |
talking Of her young days. said. Yes /
was very fond Of dancing In my girl /
hood. In fact. it was at a fancy dress
ball that Arst met my husband I re /
member it SO we'll. He was so quaint /
ly dressed He was In the garbage Of /
2 monk Had she stuck 70 the word 4
dress" with which she was on easy
terms, she would not have made her
self ridiculous, but In cropping after the I
unusual she got beyond her depth.
The following Is also accredited to 4
the same woman. "My daughter You /
know" she sald 'has been travelling ,
in the east and cruising about the Le- /
want" How delightfulw exclaimed n /
friend. "Anl did she 20 TO The Darda |
nellesf' Eyes, indeed" was the reply |
4 think they asked her TO dine with I
them"
On another occasion. when some one
took occasion 10 remark that It was too |
bad her daughter was so delicate, she /
replied: Not at all Ny daughter is
very indelicate. very
Another woman. a nouveau richie /
had at once decided. upon the acqui /
sitiop OF wealth. that some Of her
money must be spent By her son in ex
tended travelling. She would wax very !
enthusiastic upon the subject "Yes.
she would say 10 her friends. "my son
has gone on; ne Is making = circus OF
the globe" unaware. Of course. that
she was making circus OF herself
and that probably he was doing the
same thing. Hes IN Switzerland
now" she would rattle or doing an
kinds OF Wild things climbing noun.
toins ana glaciers ard getting into
dangerous places. Il worries ire 90
think OF f. George IS so reckless.
Why. only thiak Of it! He wrote me
the other day that he stood on the
brink Of an abscess"
An-this sort Of thing tie negro is q
r capital offender. for by nature fond Of
show, he seeks 10 use big words that
tickle his vanity and raise him in tie
eyes OF the multitude. The following
Malapropism IS an admirable aud
humorous instance of this african
characteristic. A young coiorcd man.
whose whole appearance denoted swag
ger ostentation. was seated in a troll
Icy car. the seats Of which were an
occupied Presently colored girl got
on. With much manner he rose aud
doned his hat. ''Take my seat. mad
am"
"Oh! All coan' lax TO deprive yo' Oh
you seat. sab" said the girl.
Not at all. madam" he reio;red
with great gusto. "hlt's no depravitv
madam. no lorrn .rft..