Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-04-20

Maud and | together composed the
letter to Uncle Jed.
We wrote it on pink stationery, and
scented it with vanilla essence out of one
of mas cooking bottles:
Highly Respected and Honored Sir:
Pardon humble and adorng female who
for many years has adored you, but must
speak or die! l am young and conhding,
ard l have gold uncounted at my command
Ii shall be all yours If only you will take
me TO your bosom and love and cherish me-
If YOU think favorabiy OF the idea, please
meet me in Robinson park by the great
elm on Tuesday evening at eight O'Clock
| will wear a red rose in my bodice. The
eiectrjcs Will give light enough Tor you to
see. Devotedly your own, W.
.P. 81 incloseA Jock of my hair"
We didn't know Miss Virgins given
name, and so far as We knew she and
Uncle Jed had never set eyes on each
other. But we didn't know it all, as we
found out afterWard.
We cut off one of old Towser's crink-
~ yellow curls and put it in the letter,
after Maud had sprinkled it with Berga-
mot hair OIL
dropped the letter into the post Office
and next morning, when l went for the
mail, brought it to Uncle Jed.
"W2o in matters writin to me on that
are pink envelope?" says he, putting on
! his specks and squirting at the letter.
Coil darn it! It's some of them pesky
horspittle women that want donation,
| or else it's one of them club females that
wants me to vote for some old petticOat-
ed man for the legislator. Or mebbe
| it's from some of them drafted hair Re-
storer concerns that want me to try their
stuff for bald heads! I'm a good mind
| to put it right into the fire."
But he didn't. He put it into his pocket
| instead, and went off out to the wood
shed to read it alone.
Maud and l, we skinned out after him,
and crept up the stairs to the loft over
the shed. where the cracks is big and you
can look right down and see everything
that is going on.
"Gracious!" says Uncle Jed, as he sat
down on the saw horse, rugged his specks
firmly on his nose and broke the seal
as if he expected the inside of the let
ter was full of dynamite, who can be
writing me letter on such fni1ed pa
per? A motto at the top, too Two
| hearts stuck through with one arrer!
Highly respected and honored sir
Gee whillikins! If that don't beat the
Dutch! Pardon humble and adoring
female'-wall, wall. I'll be jiggered!"
| Here Uncle Jed got down to business
and read the letter through
"A woman! and she wants me to take
her into my bosom, and meet her in Rob
inson's park. Wall wall, Jehosephat
links! l didn't suppose there was any
woman that thought of me that way.
| Young and confiding. and gold uncount-
ed Ell? POUNDS, why doS't she count
| it? Will l meet her? Well, | ruther
guess. Can't think who she is, unless
yes, I'll bet cent that it's that rich city
! boarder over to the Merrill house! I've
seen her loOkin at me when | drive up
with load of cabbages. And she took
my picter with one of them blarsted
crowdacks. too Jenkins said so. Said
she wanted it for specimen. Lordy! l
never thought she was in love with me.
Wall I'm about tired of Twin with old
Higgins, and being at his beck and call
day in and day out. Yes, am. Gold I'M
counted, hey? I'll have a place Of my
own, and boss to drive, and dog that
the wag of his tail shall be mine. Yes,
sir! I'm ruther stylish looking man, of
my age and when I'm dressed up l can
hold my own with the best of en-
''Oh. goodness says Maud. examining
her handkerchief into her mouth, hold
me, Sam. or shall exploded"
Ssh" says l, well lose some of it if
we give way to our emotions"
Yes" went on Uncle Jed, "l'Il meet
her, and I'll do up that bosom business to
her satisfaction. Gracious! It's a long
spell since Rugged woman! I've most
forgot how it's done. but guess I'll get
used to il with little practice. I'll take
double dose of Stickney's Tonic Bit
tiers to brace me up"
Gee whizz!" says l to Maud who'd
ever have thought that Uncle Jed would
have ketched on SO quick?"
The old man he folded up the letter
put it in his vest pocket. and went off
up into his chamber Iexpect he wanted
to kinder think it out Ma she reckoned
he was sick, and she sent him up some
billed pork and cabbage, but he said he
didn't need anything in that line. as he
was going to take few bitters for his
stomach
Maud and / were in Robinson's parl,
, by half past seven. We were awful
> 'fraid that Miss Virgins wouldn't show
up, but she was first on the ground
Maud and hid in a bunch of evergreens
close by the big elm. We could see rea
we'll. She had the red rose in hel
waist.
. Pretty soon Uncle Jed appeared. He