Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-10-01
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Mrs. Auger--I can't see why my hus-
band should be jealous of me. Her
/ Fr!cnd-No one can. my dear
Mrs. Windycity-I hear that Mrs
Packer is quite collector. What is
/ her fad? Mrs. Lakeside-H Husbands.
Stranger-Do express trains stop
| hereE Big Hank tstation agentl-Only
fer railway officials an tran robbers
Ex
Il doubt if YOU know the difference
between grand opera and comic opera"
oh. but do. Grand opera is comic"
Puck.
What would you suggest as a name
for my new YACHT" why, Ii seems
TO me the Floating Debt would be ap-
propriate"
Evelyn-Yes, my great grandmother
eloped with my great grandfather.
Cholly-Just fancy! Old people like
that!-Smart Set
Boy-Father. If there should he n
| strike Of the dog catchers in the Phil.
| ippneS, would the Igorrotes take to
eating beef?-Ex.
Mr.. Smith had hard time 10 yet
| his daughters off his hands" Yes,
and ] hear he has TO keep their hus-
bands on their feet"
knickcr-Yes, Johnny, there is only
one way To learn, and that is to begin
! Mt the bottom. Johnny How about
] swim pnipug \oU- Nc,.i-
Firse Nurse won't be able 10 GO
to the picnic tomorrow Second Nurse
Why not? First Nursc-To tell the
truth. I'm afraid to leave the baby
with its mothcr.--Ex
Continuous; Nell--Yes. he actually
had the impudcnce 10 kiss me. Belle
The idea! OF course, you were in-
dignant? Ncll-Ob, yes Every time.
Philadelphia Ledger
Chauffeur You'd better be little
careful, sir. My machine might make
your horse run. Farmer Oatmeal--no
tell! Well, it'll he the first time IN
thirty years. Chicago News.
Il don't have to work for a living"
said the shlftess individual. "Of
course YOU don't" rejoined the busy
man; III you did it's II safe bet that
you wouldn't be living. Chicago
News,
I'm trying TO find the idea in your
poem" said the editor of the squirt
uary Magazine. "Oh, don't worry
about that" said the anxious young
poet there isn't any. You can use IT
without the slightest fcar"-Chicago
Record Herald
'Do you think you can cure me, doe
TORI asked the society woman. II
think so, with the help OF Providence"
replied the good physician. why not
Newport? The climate there is surely
the same as that OF Providence ~
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Honeymoon ito husband IN rail
way train)-Do you love me? Old
Party (confidentially from other seat
TO bridegroom asked you forty
seven times already. get out here,
| but I'll leave the score with this gen
tleman by the window.
Glad to meet you" said the polite
cannibal chief to the new missionary.
II shall expect to see more of you to
morrow. We dine at high noon" "Icr
thanks, awfully. | shall be delighted
- Not at all. The pleasure viii
be all mine, assure you"
1t is human to doubt Display a
sign with the inscription Beware Of
Paint" and nine men out of ten will
lraw their forefingers across the newly
painted surface TO see if the sign is
not merely IAN invention Of The en-
envy" The tcn,A man never learned
10 read
Dashaway-Y say your sister will
be down in minute, Willie? That's
good news / thought perhaps she
wanted to be excused, as she did the
other day. Wlllie--Not this time
played trick on her Dashaway-
What did you do? WILLIE said you
were another fclIow.-London Tit-Bits.
Wlseman-To look at that English
man you'd think he was a tramp,
wouldn't you? Jokeley-W ! know
for ract that ne Hasnt pace mat
he can call home. Wiseman--Non-
sense, Why, his mansion In London
is Jokeley --Sumptuous. yes; but
he calls il " ONE. Catholic Standard.
Times.
Helen and Mazda were a play when
Mazda was overheard saying: My
mamma does not allow me to use bit
of slang. She says il is coarse ana
vulgar" That's just what my mann
ma says, replied Helen. My! but I'd
get Il right In the neck II she heard
me using slang like some little girls"
--Lppincott's.
Teacher Of Physiology we will
dissect this odd little animal But
first. Jimmy Phalig, Will you tell me.
what we have heref Jimmy Faith,