Evening star., 1904-02-27
REGRETTED KICK

| SO to speak, If only to make sure that
am in the right" said a man who works
nights and has, consequently, to do his
sleeping by day
1.-TWO weeks ago I moved to new
| that is to say, Notwithstanding house.
| The other one had begun to TEEN with
| too much life during the daylight hours
| to permit of my getting away with enough
| of that sleep thing to keep me alive. 1
could stand the woman with the twins in
| the second-story back and the little girl
who pounded 'Silvery Waves out OF the
parlor piano all during the school lunch
hour, and the sad dog of a young pension
| office clerk who yowled Tosti ditties dur
| ing the hour that 1t took him to dress
| himself of mornings; but when woman
with pair of young fox terrier pups,
| litter brothers, moved in over my head
| had to call it of. / didn't mind the COM
planning of the NUTS when their mistress
left them in the room and went on on
shopping expedition - their whining
| was mt any worse than the continuous per-
formance duet of the twins in the second
| story back; but when. to assuage their
| mistress shoes all during her absences
and pounding the footwear on the floor
above me in their rage because the shoes
wouldn't fall apart quick enough to suit
| them, was compelled to scratch out and
| look around for q new abiding place.
The landlady of the place 1 moved to
told me that the one thing she could
| guarantee, next to the excellence of her
table, was the almost weird silence of her
| establishment during the daylight hours.
She was eloquent in giving me the m
preston that the house was, to all in
| tents and purposes, as quiet during the
hours of sunshine as Chestnut street in
Philadelphia at high noon.
II get through work at o'clock in the
morning, and, when not seized upon by
| rinochle or poker iends, 1 ordinarily find
my little white cot about half-past or g.
1t was 9, that first morning at my new
! boarding house I took the usual hot
swim in the sure-enough porcelain tub.
pulled down the shades rolled in, and In
less than two minutes 1 WAS dreaming that
| 1 had put $4,000, all three ways across the
board, on a 100 to shot that had won by
eight lengths on the bit. Then all Of
sudden my dream switched. I was a
gunners mate In the Japanese navy and
we were in the middle of a fight OF
Chemulpo. I had just been hit on the
wtshbone by torpedo that 1 had seen
coming, and that looked bigger than an
airship-when found myself sitting up in
bed.
During those first few moments of con-
seriousness formed several theories. The
first was that the man occupying the room
above meas thought-had suddenly gone
insane and was engaged in beating his
wife and children to death with slapsticks
or something. But as there were no voices
accompanying the din rejected this theory
and concluded that perhaps the occupant
OF the room was deaf and dumb man
having an epileptic fit up there. The slap
thump-bin-bang noise continued and as l
grew wider awake / recognized the sound.
1t was punching bag being punched and
at the gruesoms hour, as | saw by my
clock, of in the morning. When I became
certain that it was a punching bag my
hostility pulled me out of bed. 1 clomped
over to the furnace register and began to
say things, right out loud, to the occupant
of the room above me.
Il didn't care whether he heard me or
not:-I had them in my mind and / had to
say them Placing my countenance in close
a n m fn tlA rfr-@ r
to the occupant of that room that if he had
to train at o'clock in the morning Hyatts-
Vile wasn't very far away and Anacostia
was only few hours ride on the I1th
street cars The occupant of the ROOM
however, remained too busy biting the bag
TO hear me. So elevated my tone | told
him through the register that pinheads who
got the idea into their brains that they
were good enough to do for those Alto
gether Dack-page magazine ads of insti-
tutions that teach you how to get strong
py correspondence in twenty minutes ought
10 go and hire a hall somewhere instead
OF beating inflated leather to death at an
hour when all civilization was still asleeD
or ought to be, and more to the same gen.
eraf effect. ~. - -
No go. The bag punching ceased after a
Whiie. and then the floor humping began.
IL sounded like eight deep-water sailors in
waterfront dive stamping each other to
9eath. Bumpity bump comp -bump-cbue-
bump! for a straight ten minutes wbiIe T
Kept my face at the register and tried To
attract the attention of the hummer p,,t
ne never heard me. When the humping was
an over ana L was about to crawl back To
bed, with the hope of getting to dreamino
OF that big bet long enough to enable me
TO cash the ticket, creakinp as NJ on
artny wagon train passing over a hard,
SNOWY roau, set In from the room above
ana that lasted fifteen minutes 7 reco1
hileo the sound-ft was q weight-puIIinp
machine ma being busy. 1 banged on the wall
shat wasn't s any good the weight puller
proceeded from the kitchen and thai T.
was the breakfast steak being massa oaS
WIN rolling pin. So gave it up and SUNK
back to bed. Presently the creak king csasas
ana was succeeded by a LOT of waILina
ABOUT am bound to State that tbe foot
Ialls OF the occupant of the room weren.t
fallen asleep again. nao
W men, at half-past that afternoon
went downstairs to dfnner-breakfas st NV
hrst meal In the house, the fandladv met
slept. First rate. 1 told her. with tba hao as
ceptlon of few false breaks at the harriar
~ would have been all right of course
sala 10 her, ii You had told me that Jim
JeHrles ana Tom Sharkey were doing their
training in the room above me. bnt not
knowing anything about it. you see was
some startled when they began to heat
imc sach oteer ee to death at o'clock this morn
TO the mat for the full count and had been
dragged to their corners 1t was ali right
ana l slept like deck-hand on a lumber
schooner oei
She looked at me in a puzzled sort Of
a way for moment. and then she broke
into laugh. e ''oAe
oh, l shall have those two celebrated
personages do their morning training e,se-
where in the future she replied amiabIv
quite forgot to notify them that there was
Woodworking occupant of the room be-
low them. 1 am sure they will be agree
aDie TO change Of training quarters n T
ask them in a nice way
That. 1 thought was taking the wind out
OF my sails bit and didn't entirely nm
derstand her. either. Three minutes later
however. didn't unIerstand anything, She
was introducing me to her daughter INV
seat-mate down at the basement table
Peach? Well, all you've got to do is m
think of Juno and Maxine Elliott and lane
Hading and Helen of Troy and CIeopatra-
all rolled into one. and maybe you'll catch
the idea She was the whole thing. multi
piled by two, that landlady's daughter. and
there was a lurking laugh at the corners of
her mouth when her mother presented mo
to her.
Which do I resemble the most she
asked me- after we had got on fair CONVEX
satiOnal terms 'Jeffries or Sharkev9,