Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1904-06-24
sToRIETTEs.

Mr.. Graham Murray tells Of ST.
minister, who. taking his walk n Ss
in the morning, found one of his |s3;
| ishioners recumbent IN dhIl
where have you been the night
drew?" asked the minister. 'Wss N
dinna RIGHTLY KEN" answered Ns;
| PROSTATE one, whittier 1t was rss
ding or funeral, but whicheve,
was, it was most extraordp,l
success
Barrett Wendell, professor Of sE
| glish at Harvard, crossed the cam "A
the other day behind two sophomo,lII N
what is the matter with your" g
heard the first sophomore say; "vhy
makes you SO blue?" "Why," repHJ IL
the other, II wrote home last weeI
for money to get textbooks with. N ~
here this morning my father SEM
me, instead of the money, the booSs
themselves. How in the world /, S
fellow ever to get on his feet at thlS
rate?" M
A leading London lawyer says thu
he owes his rise to shrewd errap5
boy. When he was briefess barrh
ter he went one afternoon to read hss
the Inner Temple Library. He bal
not been there long when his smsIs
errand boy appeared greatly excitslS
and breathless from running. IF yc,
please, SIR" the boy gasped, "a gen.
tleman is waiting for you at the chan
bers with brief. He can't get out 4
sir. I've locked him in" TogethaS
the barrister and the boy hurried BACH
to the chambers, and the gentleman
with brief, who was amused at hhss
capture, afterward became a most
valuable client.
A New York detective asserts that
if one wants anything in Gotham, Id
can be obtained by asking for it. AL
an instance he cites a happening al
ire Casino Theatre. Ire ticket sellet
was resting during luH in buslnesdI
when a rough-loolsing fellow stuck his
head in at the window. 1--WE come for
the clock" he said. WELL" snapped
the ticket man, who is described as
fly" you don't expect me to come
ont and take it down for you, do your
Fresh, amt yer" responded the fel.
low, and turned away. He put up a
ladder and took down the clock, val.
liable timepiece, and walked away
with it. He hasn't returned. Neither
has the eguanimity OF the very smart
ticket seller.
There is a story of a Duluth ser.
want, Swedish girl. who asked for a
vacation, as she was to be married
A substitute was obtained for her
who had at the last moment announced
that she would not come for two
weeks. The Swedish girl was asked
to postpone her marriage for thai
length of time, but she objected. She
agreed, though, to come back aftel
the wedding, and work until the 9th
er girl could come. Half an hour at
ter the ceremony the girl was per
forming her customary duties, and he
mistress said to her: "And suppose
Jour husband has gone back to hi
work, too, Matilda?" ooh, no, indeed
na'am," replied the girl; che ban,
gone on his honeymoon"
In little Tennessee town lived
Justice of the peace who had been re
elected for many terms, although h
was the only Republican in the dis
trict. At last, one campaign whe,
political excitement was very high,
was determined to GUST him, and pu
in a Democrat. The Republican wa
frightened. Then he resolved upon /,
bold plan. The election was held i,
an old dtstillery, and before n VS..
cast the justice of the peace annonnc
ed his intention OF making speech
"Feller citizens" he said. from ths
top of barrel that he had mounted
I've been Justice Of the peace hsrs
goin' on twenty vars, an a good many
goin' to the psrits1EiarT. an nov
you're Sryin' to ps1t NE CUT ct Office
But just want to tell you something
I've got the constitution and the law.
Of the State OF Tennessee IN my pocs
ct, and just as sure as you turn m,
out of office I'll burn 'em np-hlam,
me If don't-and you may all 60 I,
ruin together" He was elected, Tn,
voters felt that to be in state with
out a constitution and laws was to,
great calamity to be thought OF.