davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Contemporary Comment
Lack lLodse's Learning

Senator. Lodge has discovered that
the demand of Massachusetts manu-
facturersfer better trade lations- with
Canada is a Democratic plot to disrupt
the Republican party. The reason 9TH
er people do not perceive this is be-
cause they are not scholars in poll
S."-Ne4w York World
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

The czar threatens to call out 3,0oo,-
900 more soldiers. And they viii get
to the front just about in time TO
have to listen to the mikado's keep off
the grass order
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Retribution

Mandy said Farmer Cerntassel, .'do
YOU know that one of them new boarders
is the man that got me into a crooked
card game on the train last winter?"
Are you goin' to have him arrested?"
mo. Jes' you see that he doesn't pay
his board in counterfeit money, an we'H
get even all right. Washington Star.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
His Normal Condition

Biggs-I was reading in the paper this
morning about Texas man who was
struck by lightning while he was swear
ing Remarkable occurrence, wasn't it?
Diggs-Oh, [ don't know. If lightning
were to strike q Texas man when he
wasn't swearing it would be much more
emarkable-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
That isIpifferent AItoaether

Mr. RooseyeIt's warning against Of
fensiye partisanship does not apply TO
those federal employees who exercise
their partisanship in the interest of Mr..
Rooseyelt's candidacy. Such partisan
ship is OF course entirely inoffensive.-
Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Give the Man His Dues

Judge Parker cannot play golf. Even
in the heat of a political campaign the
good traits of a man as we'll as the bad
ones will crop Philadelphia Tel
egraph.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
That ouot,t to stay Put

The Panama republic offers prize of
$208 for a coat of arms. We cannot
furnish the coat. but We can suggest
the motto: .'Yanked to freedom.'-
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
All Over but the Count

Judge Parker has been taking a rest.
1t is necessary for him to take things
easy from now until he assumes the
burdens of his great office upon the
4tfl of next March Memphis News.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Teddy Might as Well Be Nice

Mr.. CleYeland presents his compli-
ments to Mr.. Roosevelt and would be
pleased to have him name his bait and
join him in the ex-president Glass;
Anaconda Standard.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
DISCOURAGED

The curfew tolied the hour of o'clock
The children slowly homeward went to
bed
stock
..I'l1 never get this darned thing done,
she said -Someryille Journal
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
This Is Real Mean

Gen. Grosvenor assures us that there
will be no excitement over the election
in Ohio. The Ohio excitement always
manifests itself at the pie counter after
the results are known.-Washingto
Post.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Goodness

with deep feeling, the count quoted
Kingsley's line:
BE good, sweet maid and let who will
be clever
Mildred, not doubling that the psyche
logical moment was come, trembled like
startled fawn and cast her eyes shyly
down.
Il am good for ten millions, in my own
right she faltered.-Puck.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

Perhaps Candidate Tom Watson
would be satisfied to take his second
term first. Messrs. Parker and Roose-
Welt seem to have got an option ON
the goods in sight. "a.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
To BE Sure

Little Johnny-Say. pa will you buy me
a pair of roller skates?
Pa-What in the name of common sense
do you want with a pair of roller skates?
Little Johnny-Why, pa, want to use
them for moving the lawn in summer
and shoyeling snow in winter. What else
could 1 use them for. pa?-Cincinnati En-
c,11ir.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Surely! Why Worry

If the Republican organs believe, as
they say they do, that Roosevelt and
Fairbanks will be elected, what's the
need of worrying about Senator Da-
Wis age Fort Wayne Journal.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Foolish Hari-kari Philosophy

Kamimura, who was generally ad-
vised to commit suicide for letting the
Vladivostok fleet escape a while ago,
has just won the greatest sea victory
for the apanese-Denyer Republican.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Master Hands at the Game

New York millionaires. in lodging the
campaign collectors are giving. Kuro-
patkin pointers in the conduct of mas
terly retreats.-Washin Post. -
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Howl Lona Can He Stand 1t?

There'll beaa terrible explosion, sure
as you're born, when President Roose-
welt is no logger under the necessity
of appearing sin the role of the tanned
andidate.-Milwaukee News.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
Isn't Missino a Whole Lot

However, if Grand Duke Michael is
keeping posted on the war news he
will be able to take philosophical
view of his displacement as heir ap-
paFent.=Kansas City Journal a.rs.r =
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

OF course a great deal depends on
how his grace of Canterbury acts
when Bishop Potter shows him his
righteous booze joint
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

1t would be worth while getting the
opinion of Grand Duke Boris on Kuro-
patlzin when the trouble is over.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

The bridge jumpers will find .tern-
porary facilities at the high bridgesaI-
most equal to the. normaEsconditions.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
What the Editors Say

AS usual our Republican friends are
faithful congressman will loan the
frugal. Postage counts and when the
committee their frank the postage is
saved. ]. T. McCleary, of Minnesota,
is doing the kindly act this time. His
frank is being used to send out PAM
phlet entitled What Roosevelt says"
and is headed From the Congressional
Record" 1t is made up of extracts
from his messages to congress and from
his books, The Strenuous Life" and
American Ideals" but how the latter
became a part of the congressional
record is past our divining. Probably
Mr.. McCleary incorporated these ex-
tracts into his speech, but as his
leave to print" was not granted by
unanimous consent, it is a fraud to use
it and it ought to be eXpunged. 1t is
rule established many years ago,
that leave to print" must be granted
by unanimous consent. Knowing full
well that a corrupt use of the privi-
lege might be made, the Democrats in
congress to a man objected. However,
everything goes and il McCleary wants
to put in extracts from Mark Twain's
''Innocents Abroad" he will probably
do it, only this franking privilege ought
to be abated as nuisance-Le Seuer
Sentinel
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

Dowie could raise million dollars
with one-half the wind that was
wasted in st. Paul Saturday night
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

Miss Cyclone didn't seem to have
any difficulty in reaching high just
about the time she reached the Smith.
avenue bridge.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

Weber's Dainty Duchess company at
the Star this week has proved itself
first-class season opener and is we'll
entertaining patrons of the house. Two
performances are given daily, the Fri
day matinee being especially for the
ladies.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
New PRESIDENT Tor Firemen

ST. LOUIS, Mo-, Aug. 23.-The Ma
tionaI Firemen's association tonight
elected J. j. Neil, of Fayetteville, Mo-,
president, and decided to meet at Kan
sas City next year.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

Now is the spellbinder called upon
TO sacrifice the desire of his soul. turn
his back upon the fields of golden
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

grain and go into the byways of the
great city to peddie the slack of his
jaw. .
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24
AT ST. Paul Theaters

The first matinee of I'm Old Ken
lucky" which is holding forth at the
Grand this week, will occur today at
2:30. The piece is receiving large
patronage and seems to be as much
fayorite as ever. The horse race scene,
the burning barn, the duel and Madge's
daring swing across the mountain
chas1n, brings forth loud applause. The
plekaninny band makes great hit with
It's rag-time pieces and clever baton
jugg1ers. The play is on for the week,
including a matinee Saturday.
A novelty in the way of Swedish dia-
lect plays will be shown at the Grand
next week when the comedy drama,
lilly Olson will be presented for the
first time here. 1t has been written
around a Swedish girl, bound out" to a
family of farmer folk in Minnesota.
T1lly is the only Swedish character in
the play. Tilly is a daughter of Scan
dinaEia and her odd actions and anus
ing pranks are guaranteed to keep the
piaygoers in good humor for three
hours The locale of the drama is
hrst on Minnesota farm and later in
the city of Minneapolis A strong COM
pany and adequate scenery are prom
fsed by the management. Miss Ger
trude Swiggett will play the title role.
Chauncey Olcott, in Terence"
comes to the Metropolitan for Man
ager Scott's opening attraction to-
morrow night. Since its original pro-
duction here last season, Mr.. Olcott
mas Won pronounced success with it
IN all the large cities. On Broadway,
New York, it ran for seven weeks to
excellent business.
On Sunday next. and all fair week,
Il revival of one Of Mr.. Olcott's most
successful plays. "a Romance of Ath-
lone,'' will be given. The play is by
Augustus Pitou. his manager and the
author of Sweet Inniscarra." Garrett
O'Magh" and 'Old Limerick Town"
The songs written and composed by
Mr.. Oicott for this play are noted for
their sweetness, and will include his
popular ballad, My Wild Irish Rose"
Seats for the entire engagement of
Mr.. Olcott. which is for ten days, are
now on sale.
Good specialties, supported by clever
burlesque, make the offering at the
Star by the Dainty Duchess company
IL In
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

Good specialties, supported by clever
burlesque. make the offering at the
Star by the Dainty Duchess company
this week an attractive one. The
audiences have been large and evident
ly pleased
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

In all parts of the country a remon-
STRANGE arises against the prevalent
system of education which makes
schools top-heayy, teaching preten-
tious studies to the neglect of the ele-
mentary. In every city and most of
the country towns there is futile
grabbing after the higher branches"
by children who do not know how to
spell read or write correctly.-Glen-
wood Herald.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-08-24

1t is said that an effort will be made
at the coming legislative session to get
a constitutional amendment abolishing
the grand jury system submitted to
the voters in 1906. We would vote for
such a proposition and an amendment
abolishing the legislature submitting
the first abolishment would almost re
ceive our cordial support That's what
indigestion does for a fellow.-Apple-
ton Press.
The county politician begins to wan
der over the ranges now and anon. A
sure sign that the primary election law
worries the politician more than it does
the voter.-The Virginia Enterprise.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
Thra.hinr Trollope.

During Anthony TrollOpes early
days in the postoffice 1t was the GUS
tom for the junior clerks to take turns
In the waiting room to answer ques-
tons. One day, when TrollOpe was
on duty, a young woman came to make
some complaint. and she went away
much displeased and upset by what
she considered to be the gross rude
ness with which she had been treated
by him.
Next day, Trollope being again on
waiting room duty. two stalwnrt young
men appeared. and, having ascertain
ed that they were In the company OF
the clerk who had been In attendance
there on the previous day, they shut
the door and proceeded to give A. 7.
a most severe thrashing. The pair to-
gether completely overpowered the fu-
ture novelist whom they informed.
when they had sufficiently chastised
him, that this was punishment for his
insolence to the young woman who
had called Mt the office on the previous
day and who was their sister.-West-
minister Gazette.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
Early Christian cursing..

Cursing, it may be observed. contin
ued In full vigor In Christian times, Of
ten harmonizing iii with our modern
notions of Christianity. Some are al
most horrible in their ferocity, as when
the violator of the tomb is told that
che will be accursed Of God forever
or that "he will give account to God
who will Judge the quick and the
dead" There Is one which perhaps
will rather provoke smile. The OF,
fender is threatened with the curse
of all the fathers of the Nicene coun'
ell. "He that throws rubbish in this
inclosure." the inscription runs. "has
the anathema rom the 31S fathers MS
an enemy Of God"
Sidney Smith once alluded to forty
parson power-of preaching. II we re,
member aright-but the anathcmatiz-
ing ability Of 31S Nicene fathers Is n
much more appalling idea, and there
Is q ludicrous contrast between This
terrible but vague penalty and the very
prosalc and familiar offense.-Macmil-
lan's Magazine.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
nr Picked IL tic Ell.

One afternoon when voyaginS to In
dia Il. of X. was doing in his deck
chair, when little lady of three or
four summers let her ball fly into his
face, whence it rolled to his feet.
Lord Kitchener woke up, says NJ. A.
p, and turned upon the child that
basilisk gaze before which the hearts
of strong men have often turned to wa
ter. But the child was in nowise
abashed. "Pick up my ball" she said
imperatively. Lord Kitchener frown-
ed and answered not. "Pick up my
ball." reiterated the small damsel In
sistently. Have not you got II nurseT
said Lord Kitchener In an awful voice.
The Interrogative mood was answered
by the imperative, "Pick up my ball.
Lord Kitchener looked round despair
ingly, but re-enforcements were not In
sight. "Where is your mother| he
said weakly. "Pick up my ball." re-
peated the girl. The ultimatum was
delivered in crescendO tones, which sug-
gested the imminence of something
worse to follow, and Lord Kitchener
meekly complied. Then he fled incon-
tinently to the smoke room.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
J. WALDO NASH,
Licensed Taxidermist,
MASONIC BLOCK,
Telephone Connection. NORWAY.
NOTICE.

NOTICE.
In the District Court Of the United States for the
District of Maine. In Bankruptcy.
In the matter Of
CHARLES II. GILBERT,
Individually and as q men, In Rankruntcv.
Der of the copartnership OF
Gilbert Brothers of Canton,
Bankrupt
To the creditors of Charles II. Gilbert In the
County of Oxford and district aforesaid:
Notice Is hereby given that on the 18th dav Of
Nov. A. ID. 1904, the said Charles II. Gilbert
was duly adjudicated bankrupt; and that the first
meeting of his creditors viii be held at the
Court House, In South Paris, on the 9TH
day Of December, A. d. 1904. at 10 O'Clock
in the forenoon, at which time the said
creditors may attend, prove their claims,
appoint trustee, examine the bankrupt,
and transact such other business as may
properly come before said meeting.
South Paris, November 81. 1904.
GEO. A. WILSON,
Referee In Bankruptcy.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
A Lesson In Journalism.

Professor in Journalism: "Mr. Spinks,
what would you do if man fell down
in front of the Office and stubbed his
toe9"
MI. Spinks: 81 should think the cir
cumstance too trivial to be noted"
Professor: "Mr. Spinks, there you
would be wrong. In old times, say tan
years ago, your course would have been
eminently proper, but the larger journal
ism of to-day demands larger methods.
In the circumstances mentioned, your
first duty would be to write half a
column on the humorous possibilities Of
the laws of gravitation. Next, a column
on the different methods of laying side
walks with a glance at the brick indus.
try; then half a column of the history of
that particular street, and finally refer
ence to the enterprise of your own paper
with quotations from applauding readers.
And by the-way, Mr.. Spinks, you might
find out the mans name. Tomorrow
the class will present 22OO word &C
count of dog fight in the street, includ-
ing 1000 word consideration of the dog
in human sociology from the earliest
times" Boston Transcript.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
Official Fidelity Rewarded.

Samuel Untermyer is q foe to hasty
measures of all kinds. ut is best, F."
Mr.. Untermeyer said at recent dinner
in New York, "to 60 slow always-to 60
slow-to keep cool-to be calm. l re.
member to have heard of a certain police
official who once came to grief through
his hasty and rash methods.
"There was tumult of some sort in
this mans town. The populace was
angry, and an outbreak of some kind
was feared. Well, in the midst of these
alarms, the police official was walking
homeward very late one night. As he
passed a certain tall post, he saw
placard on it.
"'Har he said to himself, this is
placard of a revolutionary, anarchistie
nature. I'll tear it down.
"And, accordingly, though he was
heavy man and long past middle age,
the official climbed to the top Of the tall
pole, tore of the placard, and descended
with it in his teeth. Safe on the ground
again, he struck match to read the pa
per. 1t contained, he found, the words,
Fresh Paint"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06

RIGHT IN FRONT OF OLD PETE's HOOPS!
then he stopped short, and no coaxing
or threatening could make him lift a
foot.
"a mules the meanest thing on
earth" shouted Mr.. Benson. I'm 60
ing to sell this one. Hi, there! You
Peter And he slapped the lines on
Pete's back till they ratified. But the
mule only shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh, the baby! The baby's gomez
cried Mrs. Benson.
Old Pete was forgotten, while the
farmer and his wife both searched for
the child. And where do you think
they found him? Right in front Of old
Petes hoOfs! If the mule had made
one step forward he must have step,
ped on the baby. If he had even man
aged to step over him carefully, he
must have dragged the pillow upon him.
Bennle's mother Rugged the mule
and I suppose 1t was the first time
anybody ever petted him In his life
But you may be sure that Pete was
not sold He Is growing old on Mr.
Benson's farm, and Bonnie is getting
big enough to ride him now.-Worces'
ter Post.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06

A Celebrated lawyer won . case in
which he had no apparent chance, BY
having the magistrates clerk put In the
witness-box. he made him admit that
he had been in the room when the judge
was discussing the case on trial; then
suddenly he asked him: "You were In
the room, sir, and did you not hear the
magistrate say there was not q rag OF q
case against my unhappy client9'
The prosecuting counsel objected, and
the question was ruled to be inadmissible:
But the jurors had heard 1t, and had
heard the answer stopped. The dissatis-
faction thus produced in their minds
made them acquit the prisoner. After
leaving the court the prosecuting attor-
ney Indignantly told his opponent that
he should not have put the question,
and that he must have known that 1t
would not be allowed.
eyes, l did," was the answer: "but l
knew you, too, and felt sure that you
would object at the right time. You
should have waited for the answer, as 1t
vould have been NO."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06

Prof. Norton says: There IL great dan
ger of the meteorological craze landing
It's devotees in . quagmire, from which
extrication will be difficult If not Inn
possible without loss Of prestige. The
earnest investigators are prone, in their
enthusiasm, to take too much for grant
cd 1.-THE wish being father to the
thought), and it will not be at all surpris-
ing to find that many steps will have to
be retraced; many ingenious and promis-
ing theories abandoned. It should be
borne in mind that microscopic life Is, In
the main, beneficent to humanity; that
the varieties associated with disease are
comparatively few, by comparison with
the others, and, that in the case Of the
bacteria that have been definitely identi-
fed with specific diseases, 1t has never
been satisfactorily demonstrated that
they are the cause, and not the product,
in such cases. Although some facts are
positively known in bacteriology, yet
the conclusions drawn from them are
mainly conjectural, and In this, as In
other fields, it is not at all unlikely that
the next generation Will see the present
teachings thrown out, and general re-
casting of theories.-Popular Science
News.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
Sour
Stomach

No appetite. loss OF strength, nervous
moss. headache. constipation. bad breath.
general debility. sour risings. and eatarrh
Of the stomach are all duo to indigestion.
Kodol cures Indigestion. This new discov-
cry represents the natural juices Of diges-
don a. they exist in healthy stomach.
combined with the greatest known tonic
and reconstfuctive properties. Kodol Dys-
pepsia Cure does not only cure indigestion
and dyspepsia. but this famous remedy
cures all stomach troubles by cleansing,
purifying. sweetening and strengthening
the mucous membranes lining the stomach.
Mr.. S. S. Ball Of Ravsnswood. w. Va. avs
." was troubled With sour stomach for twenty years..
Kodol cured me and we are now using Il in milk
for baby"
Kodol DiSests What You Eat.
Bottles only 81 90 Size holding az times the trial
sizs, which sells for so cents.
Prepared BY {. o. Dewitt 4 co.. CHICAGO.
Sold by +. A. shursler q Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
Az ApimAl Story For
Little Folks
WhyPeteWasn' tSold

Mr.. Benson was blowing the ten acre
field, and his wife came out to bring
him his dinner. She brought Bonnie.
the six-months-old baby.
The day was warm and Bonnie fell
fast asleep, 80 bis mother laid him on
Q quilt In fence corner where some
bushes shaded him and sat down to
chat with her husband.
Then old Pete was hooked to the plow
and started on a furrow. He went
two or three yards, straining at the
pillow and pulling 1t along bravely;
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
NO MORE SUFFERING.

If you are troubled with indigestion
get a bottle of Kodol Dyspepsia Cure
and see how quickly 1t will cure you.
Geo. A. Thomson, of Spencer, Ia, says;
"Have had Dyspepsia for twenty years;
My case was almost hopeless. Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure was recommended and /
used few bottles of it and 1t is the only
thing that has relieved me. Would not
be without it. Have dOctored with
local physicians and also at Chicago. and
even went to Norway with hopes of get.
ting some relief, but Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure is the only remedy that has done
me any good, and I heartily recommend
it. Every person suffering with lndiges.
ton or Dyspepsia should use It," Sold
by F. A. Shurtleff d Co.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
4 slM;H1Ssss%S

ment. Doctors treated me for rheu-
matism, but failed to help me. / lost
all confidence in medicine, but, DOan's
Kidney Pills relieved me so quickly
and so thoroughly that gladly made a
statement to that effect for publication.
This was in 1898, and during the six
years which have elapsed I have never
known Doan's Kidney Pills to fail"
A FREE TRIAL of this great kidney
medicine which cured Mr.. Bierbach will
be mailed on application to any part of
the United States. Address Foster-Mil-
burn Co.. Buffalo. n. Y. For sale by
all druggists; price, so cents per box.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-12-06
The First Atlantic Cable.

The original 1853 cable weighed nine
ty-three pounds per mile and had con-
ductor Of seven copper wires Of TWEEN
ty-two and half gauge; price OF deep
sea wire per mile. 5000; price of spun
yarn and iron wire per mile, $265; cost
Of outside coating Of tar and gutta
percha, $25 per mile; total cost per
mile, $4S5. At $4S5 per mile the total
cost Of the $500 miles Of deep sea wire
was $1,212,5OO. To this add twenty
FIVE miles of "shore end" wire, costing
S1,45O per mile. and we find that the
flrst ocean cable. exclusive Of instru-
ments, cost S1,250.O00.