davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
A Costly Mistake

Blunders are sometimes very expen-
slve. Occa-ionally life itself is the p,ice
OF "A mistake. bu> You'll never be wrong
II you take DIR. Kings New Life Pills for
Dyspepsia, Dizziness, Headache, Liver or
Bowel troubles. they are gentle vet
thorough. 25c at 81 J. Stangl's drug
store.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Secret of Admiration.

II have a great admiration for the
Moors,' declared Miss Elderly.
Il think l can tell why" from her
best chum. ''Their women never cele-
brate a birthday and make it a point
of honor not to tell their ages."-De-
troit Free Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO I

LUCAS COUNTY.
Frank j. Cheney makes oath that be
is the senior partner of the firm of F.J.
Cheney & Co., doing business in the city
of Toledo, county and state aforesaid:
and that said firm will pay the sum of
One Hundred Dollars for each and every
case Of catarrh that cannot be cured by
the use of Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK j. CHENEY,
Sworn to before me and subscribed in
my presence. this 9Th day of December,
A. d., 1896.
A. w. GLEASON,
49, Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally
and acts directly on the blood and nue.
GUS surfaces of the system. Send for
testimonials, free. F. J. Cheney & Co,
GB~ Sold by druggists. 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
A T.itfIe Mixed.

Bessie, inspecting new arrangement
of Nannies hair, exclaimed: Mamie,
hair that way. But" (admiringly) you
look better when you don't look like
yourself than when you do."-Lippin-
colts.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
The Head of the Family.

ut has come to my ears that you are
calling me the governor, said the
old man sternly. Are you?"
Il might as we'll admit it." said the
young man cOntritely.
you ought" continued the old gen.
tleman, you ought to have more re-
spect for your mother. "-Cincinnati En-
auirer
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
The Easy End.

How do you make out that you
came off better than your accomplice
when you were convicted and he ac-
quitted?"
Because | had only to pay the fine,
while he had to pay the lawyer"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Looking Forward.

Unless one has something to look for
ward to it is difficult to live. When
the joy of looking forward is gone the
zest of life GIBBS and fails. The days
are evil and we have no pleasure in
them unless on times horizon some
bright day burns like star.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Making Friends Every Day.

This can truthfully be said of JELL-O
ICE CREAM POWDER, the new pro-
duct for making the most delicious ice
cream you ever ate. Everything in the
package. Nothing tastes so good in hot
weather. All grocers are placing it in
stock If your grocer can't supply you
Four kinds; vanilla, chocolate, strawberry
and unAavored. Address The Genessee
Pure Food Co., Box 295. LIE Roy, n. Y.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Knows Everything,

Mayme-What a gossip Mrs. Gadby
is! Edith-Yes, indeed L never tell
her anything without finding out that
she has already told it elf-Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
WOEnnn's Power.

Woman's power is for rule, not bat
tie, and her intellect is not for inven-
ton or for creation, but for sweet
ordering, arrangement and decision.
She sees the qualities of things, their
claims and their places -Ruskin.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
And the LaWYer Smiled.

SWELL" said the young lawyer. after
he had heard his new clients story,
your claim appears to be good. I
think we can secure verdict without
much trouble"
That's what | told my wife, and
yet she insisted at first that we ought
to engage first class lawyer
don Telegraph
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Wouldn't Be Diverted.

Miss Kremey Tin bookstore Have
you Moore's poems? Clerk-Yes. miss;
I'll get 'em for You. BY the way, here's
a splendid story called Just One Kiss -
Miss kremey (coldly)-I want Moore
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02

"She is beautiful" said Tie studious
girl, "but she is not accomplished"
my dear" answered Miss CAYENNE,
''there is no accomplishment more diff
ficult than being beautiful w ash.
ington Star.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Cynical.

Witness-Do you mean to insinuate
that | am not speaking the truth?
Lawyer-Oh, no. You are simply max
ing a business acknowledgements
Weekly.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02

It is astonishing how much time
some people have to spare for the
supervision of other peoples business
and how we'll they do tin their
Observation-Disclosures Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Discretion.

Mrs. YOunghusband-Why can't you
stay at home this evening, George:
Your employer can get along without
you. George know it, but | don't
want him to find it out
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Hard Luck.

Mrs. Jones-It's strange that
strong man like you cannot get work.
The Tramp-Well, yer see. mum, peo-
pie wants references from me last en-
ployer, an he's been dead twenty
years
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Unsafe Depository.

Its odd i'll what peculiar places peo-
pie put their money and then lose it,
Eyes, | once put some of mine on a.
horse. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
The Hangin -s.

"Have the Newlyriches got quite set
tied in their new manSiOn?'
'Oh, yes. They've got all their an
cestors hung except a few who were
hanged on earth. Town Topics.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02
Not an Home Bill of Fare.

Little Harry-I'm hungry; | didn't
get half enough dinner. Little Elsie
What did you have for dinner? Little
Harry Company.-Ch News.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02

There is always hope in man that
actually and honestly works. Carlyle
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1904-12-02

A difficulty is at the door of every de-
light
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-06-30
n Disastrous Dream.

This story is told by man from
Harlem: He dreamed one night that
there was concealed about the fiat in
which he lived a quantity of silver.
The next night he dreamed the same
dream and told it to his wife.
After a consultation they decided
that there must be something in it"
At one place in the dining room they
came upon space which sounded hol-
low. The wall there was of brick, but
the husband got pick, and the next
night, with great stealthiness and care,
they managed to make an opening,
when they came upon an armful of sill
yer spoons and forks, cake baskets, tea
pots and other valuables.
These they arranged upon the dining
room table and were gloating over
when there came furious ring at the
doorbell, and an irate man who lived
in the next fiat came in to know "why
in thunder they had broken into his
diningroom cupboard. New York
Press.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-06-30
York state, and fat bank account

nope you Will 90 likewise, 1atner.
Just one word more. Is the widow
Brown still keeping house for you?
You haven't mentioned her for some
time, and I feel it my duty to warn
you against her-and all other
women. Women are queer creatures
at best; taken at their worst they are
unfathomable. There is in my mind
no doubt but women were created for
some wise purpose, but l have never
been able to clearly unders tand the ex-
act nature of that purpose. Mind you,
l do not mean to say they are not nee
essary adjuncts to the scheme of crea-
ton, but could have wished them less
complicated in their physical and men
tai makeup. Be CAREFUL 1t is safer
to hire man to do your housekeeping
for you. A man may steal your cider,
but he won't steal your heart. Gener-
ally speaking, men don't waste their
time stealing worthless things. AT
least the men L associate with don't
Hoping you will duly heed my warn
ings and intructions, l remain, with
flial reverence, your son,
HIRAM SLowGO, JR.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-06-30
che Bluebird.

A wistful note from out the sky,
pure, pure, pure" in plaintive tone,
AS if the wandrer was alone,
And hardly knew to sing or cry
But now flash of azure wing,
Fitting twinkling by the wall,
And pleadings sweet and am'r0uS CALL
All, now know his heart doth sing.
O bluebird, welcome back again;
Thy FURNISHED coat and ruddy vest
Are hues that April lOveth BEST
Warm skies above the furrowed plain.
The farm-boy hears thy tender voice,
And visions come of crystal days, :,
And sugar-camps in'maple ways,
And scenes that make his heart rejoice.
The lucid smoke drifts on the breeze,
The steaming pans are mantling white,
And thy blue wings joyous sight
Among the brown and leafless trees.
The loosened currents glance and run,
The buckets shine on sturdy.boles.
The forest folk peep from their holes,
And work is play from sun to sun.
The downy beats his sounding limb,
The nuthatch pipes his nasal call,
The sparrow sings atop the wall,
And robin lifts his evening hymn.
Now go and bring thy homesick bride,
Persuade her here is just the place
To build home and found race,
In downy cell. my lodge beside.
John Burroughs, in Harper'S
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-06-30
A Business PROPOSE
ton.
ton.

~ EAR Father: When first en-
tered this institution of learn
ing revolution of my rather
complicated system of cranial
wheels gave birth to the idea that some
of my fellow students might possibly
be benefited by perusal of the letters
that would from time to time be ex-
changed between us. Now, as you
know, my sole excuse for existing at
all is that 1 in my humble capacity
may do good, be of some use, to my
fellow men, whenever the opportunity
of doing, or being so, presents itself.
Hence 1 published some of our letters,
and for quite while was we'll satisfied
with the result-all my enemies vast
cd time reading them, and then, to ev-
en- things up, they wasted twice as
much time hurting maledictions at
our heads. Every man or woman
that wastes time is fool; consequent
ly if you induce your enemy to waste
time, you make fool out of him, or
her. That's some satisfaction, isn't it !?
But when your letter telling of your
experience in New York City was
published, they stopped cursing, and
began to laugh. He WHO gives his en-
envy cause to laugh at him is also a
fool Hence you were fool: first, be.
cause you let the mesh of the wicked
lnsnsre you, and then, what is much
worse, because you hadn't the good
sense to keep quiet about it. And since
the son necessarily inherits some of
the traits of his father certain preju.
diced persons straightway jumped to
the conclusion that had inherited all
of yonr traits, and they never let toe
chance slip by to say to me, jeeringly
.'You re chip from the old block
That was just trifle more than could
stand, and none of our letters have
been published since. I am rather
thick-skinned and don't mind beine
laughed at occasionally; but when &
father of mine deliberately, against my
washes and warning, takes it upon him
self to impersonate Mr.. E. z. Mark
and thus subjects his son to the ridi
cule and scorn of the heartless wretche
who profess to find delight in the mis-
fortunes and mistakes of others
think it is time to call halt, ant
stop revealing the peculiarities of tn
Slowgo family to the world at large
If the world wants something to laugl
at, let the world pay for it. Busines
is business; and this noble, practica
sentiment brings me at once to tn
heart and core of the proposition tina
has been made to us through the CO.
umns of THE MIRROR.
A certain gentleman with unlimite
means, and unlimited generosity ha
offered $5OO,O0O for an unspecifie
number of our letters, the same to b
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-06-30

Co., chests of tea, barrels of sugar, and
as for coffee, Lordy! my salesbook was
full of orders for Mocha and Java and
Santos. Why, I could 60 right up to
the bureau and say, "Good morning,
Mr.. Robinson, I'm with Baggs & Jaggs,
New York." and then I'd place my
card on the bureau and shake hands
with Mr.. Robinson, who was perfectly
delighted to see me, and while we
smoked imaginary cigars, he would
rattle off an immense order which he
had been holding for me for several
days. Then I'd say "Good bye" in a
very businesslike way and go to see
Simpson over by the washstand, and
sell him dead loads of sugar and starch.
But now Robinson had vanished and
in terrible reality stood old man Mooney
on his sidewalk, trying to induce a
refractory chicken to leave coop and
become the lifeless property of hag-
Cling boarding house keeper. Twice
passed without Mooney seeing me.
I'd 60 as far as the cigar store window
and look at the enticing array of for
cigars in boxes labeled "Lady Bird"
or 'My Beau" The "My Beaus," how
ever, were 3 for 5, and didn't have
genuine Havana filler like the "Lady
Birds" Oh those cigars in third rate
shops of fourth class towns
But Mooney no doubt was waiting
to have me take his order, so went to
his store again, and passed by as usual.
went over my memorized speech in
Vulnerable times and lust as Mooney
decapitated the shrleking fowl by
twist of the wrist, and handed that
bloody sacrifice to the boarding house
mistress, made up my mind I'D break
the ice or give up nv job. 1870
1 SIS this Mr.. Mooney?" said I with
the cordial smile I had so frequently
bestowed on Robinson & Co. in the
bureau looking-glass.
"That's me" said he, not very pleasant
ly thought. handed him card and
he looked at it and said, "What do you
want:"
"Why," L stammered, 81 represent
Baggs & Jaggs of New York, and I've
called to see what you need in my line
today" Today he shrieked. "Satur-
dayl Not much, too busy today, come
around during the week, but I'm all
filled up anyway" With that he proved
how busy he was by going to wait on a
1O-yesr- r-old girl who wanted half
pound of lard!
Me to the woods! To think that I
struck the worst day in the week for a
starter. But l had broken the ice
anyway and called on the whole outfit.
! 1t didn't take long, for the grocers
were getting buster every minute. I
quit about p. m. One reason was
that was tired, but more important
one was the fact that down at Gordon's
= I was threatened with a meat cleaver
if 1 didn't get out. The gross sales
= were twenty pounds of tea and box
. of ginger snaps. Which proves how
we'll established was Baggs & Jaggs'
. trade.
Yes, indeed. HARLEY.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-06-30
On the Road.
VX IHEN the train had pulled
M out from the lively and
Y Y bustling city depot, l sank

AA out from the lively and
Y Y bustling city depot, l sank
back into the red plush
seat with sigh of relief. For weeks
1 had anticipated the joys of being
travelling salesman. None of the
seasoned Knights of the Grip lay
claim. to the appeiiation of salesman"
drummer" is good enough for them.
But the novice boasts the more glow
ing title, and points for proof to his
accident insurance policy where reads
one phrase: "Occupation,-Travelling
Salesman" And if that is not enough
ne can, if necessary, show his letter of
introduction from the mercantile
agency, wherein it explicitly states
that the bearer is, "Mr. ohm Jones, Jr,
travellingsalesman for Baggs & Jaggs."
My itinery covered territory about
300 miles long. There was no width to
it, unless you except the width of the
towns that were scattered along the
track of the railroad. And now at
last was on the road; my new dress
case and new sample cases were dead
give-aways, yet tried to imagine that
everybody in the smoking car was say
ing to himself, There's Baggs & Jaggs'
travelling man.!
The train had gone few miles
| when we came to small village, at
which place bona 1fde drummer got
aboard. He came soberIy up the aisle
and sat down by my side. Drummers
will talk, it's their business, so he be-
gan with, "Nice country this?" To
which 1 heartily assented.
Travelling for pleasure ?" he asked
Right there ! swelled up. "No," said
1, Il represent Baggs & Jaggs of New
York" And [ felt important, if
didn't look it.
what are you peddling?" he asked
"Peddlingw thought 1. "Here I am
representing an important business
house and he wants to know what I'm
peddling."
"Why, Pm not peddling anything
I answered with some heat; "oul
house, sir, has an established trade"
"Baggs & Jsggs," said he, meditat
lively; "never heard of them. WhaI
dye handler" he continued. I pro
duced an elaborate card, highly artis
tic from certain point of view. Or
it the clever artist had drawn an i'm
mense warehouse fronting an ocean
on which were boats of every descrip
ton, and every one of their sails hat
, "B. & j." on it, while on railroat
, running from the warehouse to tn
| wharf were countless cars all labeiet
: "B. & J." Myriads Of wagons drawn b.
i magnificent horses and driven by mel
: wearing impossible hats bore testi
. mony that Baggs & Jaggs were, a
l their advertisements modestly stated
t "The largest importers in the world.
1 Somehow or other this avalanche o
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-11-26
wealdn,s keep Hers without It.

Every poultry keeper has his own
IDEAS rs TO what Is the best fo0d tor
his fowls. AIl agree, however, tllat
the food that win make their hens las
IL cold weather Is the most profitable.
Mrs E a Brown Of Abbott, Ales eN-
presses the IDEAS Of many nanifry
keepers In the following lett 4 am
sure would not think of keeping hens
II could not get Pages Perfected
Poultry Food FOR them
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-11-26

Mr. AMI Mrs. Simeon snyder of Bur-
lington celebrated their golden wedding
Thursday. Afr, and Mrs Snyder were
married in Montreal at the Church OF
ST. Peter jast 81 years ago yesterday
The clergyman who performed the GER
For the first ii years of their married
life they resided in Canada, but the re-
mainder Of the time has been spent in
Burlington. Their golden wedding was
to have been celebrated last year, but
owing to the death Of a daughter-in-law,
tile celebration was postponed for one
year
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-11-26
100 CHICKENS STOLEN.
Big Coop at the Fanny Allen Hospital
Broken Into Thursday Night.

BY Sopp At the ranny Allen hospital
Broken Into Thursday Night.
Burlington, Nov. rs. Complaint was
made to Sheriff Horton today OF d
wholesale theft of chickens at the Fan.
ny Allen hospital last night, and the
officers are investigating the Csc today
Nearly one hundred fowls-nice juicy
spring chickens which had reached that
point Of excellence where they wonld
make prime roasters and broilers-wero
taken from their roosts in the big hos
pital coop. Entrance to the place was
made by breaking lock. There must
have been several OF the thieves for it
would be impossible for one man to
have gotten away with such feathered,
squawking swag. They must have had
wagon or two TO transport their booty.
Whoever the thief or thieves were they
will probably have the same as an ele-
plant on their hands. One hundred
chickens win demand much feed and it
will take large place to quarter them.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-11-26

a number Of children who were
skating near Furnace street IN Poultney
Wednesday afternoon broke through the
ice into 20 feet Of water, and were res
cued with difficulty BY the employees OF
the foundry Charles Flood, one Of the
party, had gone down twice before as
sistsnce arrived The ice was consider
ca safe. and the children had skated mp
on it for several DAYS Wednesday in
stead of crossing the long bridge to
reach the ice they walked npon it at
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-11-26
A Business Chance!

A partner wanted in granite business We
have cur own shed and polishing mill, afr, eie.
Partner must Be a poIiShI Of stoneeutter. Cap
ttaI required about 100000. Write to o."
No. 40, Times Office.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-11-26
Important Notice!
There's S S S in Them AlI)

We desire to notify all granite manu-
facurers and polishers IN the State Of
Vermont that we have been appointed the
sole and exclusive selling agents for Chilled
Shot. manufactured by Messrs. Backhaus
4 Langensiepen, Leipzig Flagwitz, Ger
many, otherwise known as German Shot,
and which has been sold in Barre, VT,
and vicinity recently by other parties.
We wish to advise the trade that this shot
ii the future can be purchased only from
our Vermont agents, Messs. Forsyth s
Ingram, Barre, VT, who viii carry a
complete stock Of all grades in Barre, VT,
together with our Aberdeen Scotch Shot
and Harrison Brothers Chilled Steel Shot.
Boston, Mass. (Signed)
HARRISON SUPPLY co.
Per Nathan C. Harrison. General Agent,
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-11-26

The training school for nurses, which
has been in session at the Fanny Allen
hospital at Burlington for the past sew
en- weeks, has been brought to q close,
after a very successful session. During
the course Of instruction e We're in at
tendance AMI two young ladies' received
their diplamas. At the closing exer-
cises Dr. r. E MeSweeney, president Of
The staff Of visiting physicians, present
ed the diplomas and Dr. Lyman Allen,
secretary of the stat, spoke q few words
on the work that had been accomplished
during the session
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-11-26
APPEARING OLD
acts as a Bar 10 Profitable Employ.
meut.

Acts as Bar 10 Profitable Employ
ment.
You cannot AFFORD 70 grow old
In these days OF strenuous competition
It is necessary 10 maintain. as long as
possible ones youthful appearance.
Il Is impossible to do this without re-
tanning a luxurious growth Of hair
The presence OF Dandruff indicates tho
presence OF a burrowing germ which
lives and thrives on the roots Of the
hair until II causes total badness.
Newbro's Herpicide is the only known
destroyer of this pest. and II is as efrec-
tive as il ia delightful to use
Herpieide makes an elegant hair dress
ng as well as Dandruff cure.
Accept no substitute-there Is none.
Sold BY leading druggists Send 10c IN
stamps for sample to The Herpicide Co,
Detroit, Mich.
Riekert & Wells, Special Agents.