Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1904-03-11
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nave you" Shelf you did you
wouldn't have me.-Smart Set.
Citizen-How can you be tired when
you are doing nothing? Tramp-I
reckon it's cause dere's so much Nv
1t ter do.-Chicago News.
Ascum-Well, well! 1 congratulate
you, old man; and how is the baby to
be named? Popley-By my wife's peo-
pie, 1t seems.-Philadelph Press.
Wife-When we go anywhere now
we have to walk. When we were only
engaged you always called a carriage.
Husband-That's why we have to walk
now.
Blunt hear Blones has stopped
gambling. Front-That's true. l bet
him $1O0 this morning that he couldn't
stop, and he took me up.-Yonkers
Herald.
Georgiana-We are not old. Juliana
oh, yes, we are, my dear. Georgiana
We'll, we are just as young as any
girls Of our age in town.-Indianapo
Journal.
Snaso-This souvenir habit is getting
to be something fierce. Rodd-I should
say so. l know Of a man who visited
friend and took his friends wife as
4 souvenir.
Little Willie-What is the difference
between character and reputation, pa?
Pa1Character is luxury, my son,
while reputation is a necessity.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Scribblehard-I believe I've written
myself out; don't seem to have an
idea left. Penhandler-Well, why
don't you write stories for the maga-
zines, then?-Life.
The LADY, gave you a piece of
pie last week, and you've been sending
your friends here ever since. The
Tramp-You're mistaken, lady; them
was my enemies.-Judge.
"She claims to have studied music"
"Well, she has, after fashion," How
is that?" "Why, she has studied the
pronunciation of the names of the great
composers" Chicago Post.
$50 you were in London, ELI? How
did you find the weather there? IL
didn't have to find 1t. 1t came and
hunted me up and surrounded me in
chunks. Philadelphia Press.
Wife-Now, don't you think my new
hat is perfect dream? Husband
Well, no. To be a perfect dream the
bill attached to it should also be mere
ly dream.-Philadeph Press.
1,t@ Oh,
hiding from her husband the present
she was going to give him?" mot a
bit. She put it in one Of the pigeon
holes of his desk."-Chicago Tribune.
She-And you don't think there is
chance in the world of our living
through our lives without quarrel.
He-There is always fighting chance,
dear.-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
'Yes, his painting attracts great
many people," Great artist, eh?"
mo, just house painter. He puts
out sign, Fresh Paint and everyone
touches it to see if it's dry."-Chicago
News.
J Jack-Miss Fay, will you marry
| me? Fay-I wouldn't marry you If
!: you were the last man on earth Jack
J oh, l say, that't rather hard, I
, Fay-Goose! How could L? Who'd
: perform the ceremony?
He-We must economize. Suppose,
darling, that you try your hand at
making your own clothes. She-Oh,
George, dear, never could do that.
Suppose l begin by trying to make.
yours ?-The New Yorker.
A stout man met sad-faced man
on the corner. Sir said the stout
man, "can you recommend good bar
ber to me| "Sir," replied the sad
faced man, 81 cannot. have my hair
cut at home."-Clevelan Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Crocker-You don't like your
soup? Well, l must say, you are the
hardest man to satisfy there ever was!
Mr.. Crocker-People who know you
are my wife have quite different
opinion, my dear.-Boston Transcript.
Hiller-Was that your son saw
you with yesterday? Dale-The young
chap who was giving me advice how
to succeed in business and to make a
place for ones self in the world? Yes,
that was George.-Boston Transcript.
"Didn't l hear your wife refer to
you as the human mince pie?" said the
curious person. YES" answered Mr..
Sirius Barker. 'Is that complaints"
mot exactly. She means that l new
er agree with ANYBODY. y."--Washington