The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-09-06
TEE NONPAREIL MAN

4 ~ - L
How pr. Arnold Hochstetter's Lung Bit
tiers Cured a Fatal and incurabIe Case
of Cancer of the Llver--A Chapter thar
Throws Great Light on the Workings
Of Some Of Our More Successful Patent
Medicines. IA
So many people are cured. by patent
medicine, if you can believe all you read,
that it is astonishing that We have any
of the ailing and leavy-ladenl left among
us. Especially is it astounding when we
read the analyses Of some of the popular
brands of cure, analyses that are made by
unromantic state chemists hired by some
Of the eastern states that have been look
ing into the patent medicine when it
giveth its color to the spoon. o &.
l heard a true story the other day of a
lady who was cured of cancer Of the
stomach by the use of something that
sounded like Dr.. Noah Jo1lnson's Balm
Of Gideon for the Lungs The story
was told by the lady's intimate friend
and vouched for as the truth-or as a kind
Of truth. The sufferers case had been
dog-nosed by the leading physicians of
the northwest and pronounced incurable.
She was taken to Chicago for another
diagnosis and a possible operation, if the
her attention was caught by an advertise
nent in an old paper left on the car
seat. This advertisement was in praise
of DR.. Noah Johnson's Lung Balsam and
altho she was very sick, she reasoned tc
herself thus: ~. ~" ~
IF this Balm of Gideon. is good TO,
the lungs, it is good for the stoma
| She insisted that bottle be procured
for her on her arrival at Chicago. o.
course, under circumstances like this, fol-
| ones friends will do anything for E
doomed person, the stuff was procured
the. lady took it faithfully and was com
! pletely restored Every one. said it was
practically a miracle. -. =. 4.J,.-"..
| You think we are lying? Not on YOU
life This is true story. a.@ 7@att.,
| The lady was a person Of a brillian
mind, well educated and well read !. Sh'
was sick unto death, but she had a sud
den bust Of confidence that something
advertised for another disease would cur
her. She was cured That u.s.: cured t.
all appearance. You may lay it to tn
dope, or to her confidence in it, Or yo1
may say it just happened. At any rate
she is well now, and ready for anothe
disease. 49,
I once knew a lady who was cured O
rheumatism by Dr. Pumpelly's Rheumati
Generator. She had a severe case of tn
disease and Tapped up four bottles of tn
Generator without effect Then she ,Wrot
DIR. Pumpelly. a personal letter roastin
him severely for selling colored water
the poor and crippled The doctor reptile
in kindly and considerable letter afte
this fashion:
| Madam, do me the courtesy of tallin
the fifth bottle =.
She did so and was completely cured.
The New York Times tells baseba
; story that is worth repeating. Whe
Wicker, the Chicago pitcher, was a youn
, fellow pitching on a college team in TT
south, a preacher uncle Of his went OF
| to see him pitch a game. = .-' -
| What are those preliminary signs thu
r the catcher is naking?' he asked
: "He is signing Wicker the sort Of curry
he wants him to throw" volunteered
bystander.
do you mean to say, sir, that he ar
my nephew are conniving together
Q "You might put it that way, T SUI
e pose" .". = ~. '.E- D. i
: ::And this is Christian college," sight
- Rev. Mr.. Wicker. p 80.
: Typographical errors make pretty 20
e stories but they are often humorou
: Bishop w. A. Gambler was once advoca
: ing more liberal loosing Of the purs
+ strings, and told his audience that Sc
: 4 eral Years ago he sent an article to
y newspaper in which he said: I'VE pr:
: too loud and work too little:"'- The cor
# positor, consciously or unconsciously, pc
petrated little joke for when the art
and work too little I'll let it go
that said the bishop. ''The fact is,
believe the printer was right, and I nev
ventured to correct him. -.
If the wind knocked over black O.
tree for you, especially if it was de-
wood it is just as well to get the ak a
f. saw sharpened up before you go out
i break the tree up into CRATE lengths.
, The black oak knows that some de
i somewhere, somehow, somebody will E
If after it with the ak and during all
life it takes measures "accordin'.' ,Du
ing it's young growth, when it feels pref
stout and vigorous, the black oak, VIII
- it draws it's sap out of the ground in t
spring. pulls up with it. a few pailsful
: sand, a yard or two Of gravel chunks
t. old metal, axhelves, pieces of rusty
and some old nails, and builds them in
itself in very compact and gritty ma
ner. You nail real estate sign on a bla
oak tree and the tree in time draws Q
the nails and builds them into its interi
q structure. The black oak trees wood
the grittiest thing what am.
But in time the black oak tree gets tir
and withdraws into the unseen, leavi
i the toughest old trunk YOU ever sa
i When the wind or an earthquake or som
= thing knocks the tree over. the tru
settles down comfortably and renarl
soto voce, Nov let the boy with t
m AK come on. I'm ready" t.
l. Sooner or later the young Ola dStol
with crate in his front room and t
or three chilly ladies in the house, Sc
! the PROSTATE oak and remarks, "Aha
= He unlimbers his AK and bang" he h
the tree once. Nothing doing. The
bounds back. 1t goes on this way 4
@zaveral days till finally, after raisi
= ',listers on his conscience from spok
and unspoken language the axman q
the tree broken in two It's the beginni
of the end. In a week or so after ;:
Z worth of hard labor. about Is cents woi
. of poor wood that has to be coaxed
i burn, adorns the back yard .s.-.
The tree has a whole lot of fun waite
ing the axman get q hotbox. The bla
oak ought to be sold for scrapiron.
g&# "A. J. r