The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-01-31

big man a work of art, and was able to prove his pet theory. that big man .suf- fers much more in proportion than a lit- tie one From that time on many quick tempered and muscular patient rose from the chair with howl of pain, prepared to slug Doctor Harvey Hickenhyphen in the jaw, and suddenly found himself on the sidewalk and ready to apologize. Life was one rosy dream now for the doctor.
 He called the bouncer Pat, and as it grabbed hold of a man it said, in a brogue you could have spread with a trowel:
 Come an out av that now, ye durthy blackguardi9
 He was so well pleased with himself that he started on an automatic operator right away. This was a more delicate piece of work and he spent nearly two years of his spare time before he got 1t perfected, but when it was done he justly felt that it was the crowning achieve ment of his life, Standing by the chair it would pass it's left arm around patients head and clasp it's left hand under the pa tient's chin.
 Now hold still. This won't hurt very much,a it would say in soothing voice.
 Then it's right hand would come up. the forceps would settle down on the wrong tooth, just like a real dentist does 1t, and then would come the fine work. There would be a gouge and a twist and yank and another little pause, then a slow, steady pull and pause, a twist and an- other gouge, and so on until the tooth couldn't be kept in any longer, when it would be yanked out with a sideways jerk that ripped as many nerves as possi- ble.
 The doctor named it "The Professor, :" and he was nearly crazy to try it on some one, but for some unaeeountabe reason, nobody would let the automaton dc the work. so at last he had to hire a retired prize-fighter to come in and have tooth pulled The result justified the outlay, and the doctor as he rubbed his hands to- gether in ecstacy, had to acknowledge that the automaton had him beat at all stages of the game. It seemed to be calmer and have more strength than him. self and to be able to prolong the oper- ation and produce about twice as many squirms and howls
 He was so overcome with joy that he forgot to stop the thing until 1t had pulled three teeth and by that time the retired prize-fghter was ready to pull the house up by the roots and use it for battering ram. The doctor tried to pacify him but 1t was no use, so just as the automaton let go he touched the bouncer button and %~-~ Spanish two-step for the street taking parts of the furniture with him. Out on the sidewalk he turned on the bouncer and the two of them had a set-to that was the finest thing the policeman across the street had ever seen. It wasn't on his beat, so he didn't interfere until it was all over and the doctor had led the bouncer back in the house. then the officer came across and arrested the retired prize fighter for obstructing the highway.
 The bouncer had few scratches and worked a little jerky after that, but it was built for right swings and upper cuts, short arm jabs and straight arm punches, and the few bruises 1t got only made it look more like the real thing.
 That night the doctor celebrated. Every man was his brother and along towards midnight all his brothers were twins. The doctor and his newly found relatives as- suaged their growing thirsts in several different languages and few dialects.