Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1904-11-30
- ,@5s;,kSHEEsS
a m 7-E
W.agEHd6NS%<>>> i wv
N0~~~o-N~~~~

Scribbler-Have you read my last
novel? Cyncus-I hope so.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Mistress-Do you love babies? Maid
Not at three dollars a week, num-
Detroit Free Press.
They We're disappointed in love.
weren't they?" Yes. Each thought
the other had money."-Life.
She-Have you a copy of PRONE
theus Bound?" He-No. maam; but
we can get it bound for you any way
you like.-MinneapoI!S Tribune
This is not such snap as
thought it was" remarked the camera
fiend whose victim had just kicked
him and smashed the machine
Judge.
Il told uncle Simon that he was
getting too old and feeble to attend
TO business" Did he take it kindly?"
HE threw me out of his office Van
icy Fair.
Mother-What seems to be the trou-
Bile? Mrs. Neuwed-I--I always heard
Charles was fond Of the turf, but l
simply can't make him touch lawn
mower.-Ex
do you admire Beethoven's
works" II never visited EN-" an
swered Mr.. Cumrox absentmlndedly.
What does he manufacturer "-W Wash
ington Star
Summer Boarder-Y0u sat up rather
late last night did you not? l heard
you going TO bed about 8. a. m. Farm
er-Shucks! was just a-gittin' up
Chicago Journal
Young man, have you stopped to
think where you will 20 when you
die" Cad, no-I haven't even
thought where to go on my summer
vacation yet"-Puck
Johnson-Ts thinkin oh ma'ayin'
dat youngest Thompson gal Jackson
Don't do it, niggah. Don't do it. Dat
gal cannot keep job more'n two
weeks. Don't do it.--Albany journal.
I'm git de law on dat woman. OATS
whaty Whats the matter. Aunt
| Caroline?" "She done went an call
me up by tel'phopin when der's small
| pox in her family. Cincinnati Trib-
une.
Pal understand, Bobbie. that at
| the party you asked for a second piece
of cake. Now, l told YOU Bob
bic No; only said that if they liked
to make me the offer l would accept
it.-Pick Me-Up.
Her Mother-Look here. Ernie,
! thought your father told you not to
! encourage that young man? Ernie
/ Oh, dear. mamma, that young man
doesn't need any encouraE cement Chi
cage Daily News.
do you sympathize with the Rus
slams or the JAPANESE" AT present"
said the ran who strives for nicely Of
expression. Il sympathize with the
Russians and congratulate the Japa-
nese. Washington Star.
Beatrice (aged 6, after remaining in
deep thought for quite two minutes.
addresses her mother, who has been
choosing frocks for herl--Mummy
! dear. before You buy the frocks. I've
thought it all over. and think I'd
rather ,e a boy.-Punch.
Il am strongly inclined TO think that
your husband has appendicitis" said
the physician. That's just like him"
answered Mrs Cumrox. He always
waits till anything has pretty near
| gone ont of style before he decides to
/ fs NrogI,{pn4o,
"oh, George exclaimed the young
wife, lit was nearly midnight before
you got home last night" Well
well"' exclaimed the husband: ''you
women are so inconsistent. Before we
were married you didn't care how late
l got home Sioux Falls Press.
Nov" said the pert salesman. sar-
| castically, as he started to put back
| the rolls of silk, cant you think Of
something more | might show you,
ma'am'?" Yes" replied the shopper,
"but l don't think you have it." What
is it," More courtesy. "-Philadel-
! pbia Public Ledger
Tin afraid that you can't graduate
this year, after all said the high
school professor to the Sweet Young
| Thing, who was 3 in Greek or some
thing. NO" Sc replied, Il can't.
The dressmaker simply can't get my
dress finished in time--isn't 1t too
bad ?'-Cleyeland Leader.
Pretty well, >" remarked the doctors
daughter. who took an interest in her
fathers purse and profession, when
some one asked her how things were
going" Plenty of colds. some bron-
chitis, and a little tyrhus fever; but,
as father said yesterday. what we
want TO make things lively is a nice
little epidemic.'
Here is another example of faulty
English said the teacher Of the class
IN rhetoric; in this essay you have
written. her sight broke upon a land
scape OF catrancing IOycliness. How
could any ones sight break upon a
landscapef" she might have drop
ped her eyes. timidly ventured the
young woman who had written the *
say.-ChicagO Tribune
y certain railway station is sur
rounded in all directions with cheap
restaurants over one Of these. III
great illuminated letters. could be seen
the sign, open all night" Next to Il
was a restaurant bearing IN equal
prominence the placard, We FEVER
close" Third In order vas q Chinese
laundry In little tumble-down howell