davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1904-02-14

els H Whitney. private secretary TO
the Postmaster General. has been one Of
the busiest men at the National Capt.
tai. Even under normal condi lions the
Postmaster General is supposed to have
more oilers than any other member OF
the Presidents official family. and dJS--
ing the progress of the investigation
there has been perpetual flood of visit
ors. The volume of mail addressed to
the Postmaster General has shown "A
proportionate increase and the private
secretary. although he has worked nigh.
and day. has never been able to be less
than four days behind in the disposition
of correspondence.
Mr. Whitney is a native of Michigan.
but early in life removed to Milwaukee
where he became associated with Mr.
Payne. the present Postmaster General.
Tor over ten years he had entire charge
Of the latter's confidential and political
affairs and real estate interests: dur
ing the Presidential campaign of 1900 he
accompanied him to Chicago. where. as
vice chairman of the Republican Ma
tional Committee. Mr. Payne had charge
OF the Western headquarters OF the COM
mittce. and finally accompanied his chief
to Washington. Other examples Of ideal
Gle are w. Scott Smith. who serves che
Secretary Of the Interior. and Jasper
Wilson. private secretary to the Secre-
tary u Agriculture. Mr.. Wilson is the
son OF Secretary Wilson. and has been
associated with his father in this con-
fidential capacity for three years past
II. o. Weaver, private secretary to
the Secretary of Commerce and Labor,
il exactly such a young man as would
be expected to inspire the confidence of
so careful and conservative an official
as Secretary Cortelyou. Mr. Weaver SIS
a native of Ohio. and started in ~The
Government service when twenty-one
years OF age. as a stenographer and type
writer. 4 couple of years ago he was
given a clerkship at the White House.
and here attracted the attention of Mr..
Cortelyou. M. Weaver, like Mr.. Fish
back and several other prominent pri-
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
ROBINSON
JONES
HAY

uary, 1875, and. il is said that members
were paid all the way from eight ne-
groes to 10000 acres of land to vote
for it, Corruption by bribery was open
Great indignation spread throughout
the State. and upon the assembling of
the Legislature one year later. the act
was declared null and void. The records
relating to the act were ordered burned.
in order that no trace OF so unconstitu-
tional, vile, and fraudulent trans
action should remain public. The in
famous records We're placed in one vast
heap. and a sun glass was used TO set IL
on IRE. that il might be said that the
fire that destroyed it was sent from
heaven.
This is the first and only instance in
t5le history of the country where a leg
islative body personally superintendent
the destruction by fire of its previous
records Of corruption
The Washington times., 1904-02-14

vate secretaries. has studied law, and
finds his legal knowledge of the great
est assistance to him in his work
A master of rnethodics Is Charles
c. Long. the right hand man Of the At
tOrney General The clOck-Work Dre-
cision with which everything moves at
the hub Of the Department Of Justice
is broken only when some Senatorial
caller puts in an appearance. Accord
ing 10 a t.me-honored custom. members
of the upper house Of Congress are given
precedence over the Attorney Memorials
other callers. no matter what previous
appointments have been made Mr..
Long. who is thirty-three years Of age.
was born in Ohio. but for some time
prior TO his appointment as secretary
to the Attorney General had resided Il,
Massachusetts,. He is not however. 4
relative of the former Secretary Of the
Navy. Prior to taking UP his present
work he was business man. and at
one time was interested in the drus
business
No member of the Cabinet maintains
closer relations with his secretary than
do4s the Hon. Leslie III. Shaw. who
prsssides over the -destinies OF the Treas
ury Department John Hinkson Ed
wards, the bright young man OF whom
Secretary Shaw has so high an opinion
that he has him work at the same desk
in order that he may always be at hand
for consultation. is but twenty-eigllt
years of age. and yet he IS more thor
oughly conYersant with the general
financial situation than are many bank
ers. His career has been most active
one. In 1892 ne was in the Census Office
in Washington; two years later he was
in the employ Of a bank in the Middle
West. returning to Washington. he be-
came private secretary TO a Congress
man. from which he graduated 10 the
post OF assistant secretary TO the POST
master General. and finally stepped into
his present desirable berth Mr. Ed
wards dictates enough letters each day
TO keep three or four stenographeTs
busy and sees an average Of fifty Wis
itors daily.
The Washington times., 1904-02-14

A GOOD secretary is rather to be
N desired than great riches. This
is the sentiment echoed by
every man who has ever served
as member of the Cabinet of Presi-
dent Of the United States. The public
hears much about the overworked
President. whom the principles of a
Republic supposedly compel to give
ear to the woes of every one of eighty
million people. but its sympathy is sell
dom enlisted for the overworlxed Cabl-
net officers. although the incentive is
quite as great Recently the clerks in
Uncle SANS employ at the departments
at Washington sent up a storm OF pro-
test when they were asked to work
from 9 O'Clock in the morning until 40
O'Clock in the afternoon, instead of
merely until 4 o'clock, as formerly. and
yet there is not one of the heads of de-
partments who earns his daily pay Of
SIS in seven hours.
There are members of the Presidents
Cabinet who are at their desks regular
" each morning at $50 O'Clock. and
few, If any. OF them leave the office in
the evening before $50 or O'Clock.
That the Cabinet officer is enabled TO
20 home to the bosom OF his family at
all Is due largely to his ability to make
division of labor with his private
secretary. Under these circumstances
it is obvious that the private secretary
must be a young man of tact and abil-
ity, with an infinite capacity for hard
work and a strong disposition 10 keep
his own counsel.
No Ideal Secretaries.
The ideal private secretary Is born,
not made. but in this work. as In any
other, genius may be aided whole lot
by experience The position of private
secretary to business man, a lawyer,
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
weak SUPPORT for the Gospel.

The Hardshell Baptists furnish rich
variety of amusing matter for jokers
and yarn spinners Representative
Griggs of Georgia tells this one on the
Hardshellers:
1T is the custom of the HardshelI
Baptists to hold yearly association
generally in piece of woods near a
good spring. The brethren from abroad
are CHARTERED upon those in the neigh
borhood of the meeting; and these are
required, of course, to lay in a good
supply Of the creature comforts, and
among them. as the most important. a
plenty of whisky. At a meeting some
time ago. the brethren near by were
putting up the benches. and making the
place ready. when brother said:
Wall, Brother Jenkins, what prep
aration have you made fer the enter
tainment of the brethren at your house?'
Why, I've laid in a barrel of -four
or so. and a gallon of whisky
"A gallon of whisky for a big meet
in! exclaimed the brother, with great
contempt. A gallon of whisky, Why.
I've laid in a whole barrel. an you're
just as able. Brother Jenkins, to sup
port the gospel as I am. I am fairly
surprised at you. Brother Jenkins
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
His Right to Get Drunk.

'Whe1= hear people say anything
against the President taking a little
rest and recreation" said a Southern
Representative, 'I ara reminded OF the
story of General Jackson and MAYOR
George Croghan.
The 1atter's defense OF the fort at
Lower Sandusl1y against force of 1000
men-British regulars and Indians-was
1912. Complaint was made TO General
Jackson that Croghan was INDUCING in
strong drink 20 such an extent that he
should be dismissed from the army A
The Washington times., 1904-02-14

something OF q humorist. In Cedar
county the case OF Gillon VS.. Grandall
was called on an appeal from the docket
OF a justice court.
A member of the bar arose and said
he would suggest the death Of the APP
pellee; another lawyer suggested the
death of the appellee; another lawyer
suggested the decease of the appellant.
Judge Tuthill quietly remarked that the
clerk could pass the case as II would
probably be tried before another tribu-
nal. After court the following lines
were found on the judges desk:
This appeal case was brought 10 our Cedar Dis
trict court.
And passed over by the judges awardin'
That as Death had claimed the right II was
fitting that the fight
Should be fl on the other side Of Jordan
If the counsel who were feed in The trial TO
proceed
Had received enough to pay for their bOardin',
To finish up the task. they should change OF
ask.
And take 1t to the other side of Jordan.
When the chatter and the chat and the lawyers
all meet.
They can then try their action accordin'
To the higher laws in force. for better or for
worse
In the courts on the other side Of Jordan.
The proceedings had prior to the judgment of
the squire.
Which plainti nwas DESTROYS Of avoidin',
II taken up thar may be settled at the bar.
When they get 70 the other side of Jordan.
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
Small Tipplers Only Damaged.

Cloak-room yarn spinners were de-
lighted to have Private" John Allen
with them a few hours last week The
question of whistle waiting was being
discussed and the private said he was
glad to find that so many Of HIS former
running mates had climbed to the front
Reats in the water wagon.
Many years ago. boys" said the pri-
vate, 1.-The Legislature Of Mississippi
passed a law restricting the sale of ar
dent liquors to quantities not less than
one gallon. The old governor, who was
celebrated for his astronomical feats.
looked at the bill moment, and then
said:
This is ore of the most sensible acts
this Legislature has ever passed. Every
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
Appeal to Higher Court.

Ex-Speaker Henderson likes a good
yarn or joke as well as any man from
Iowa, but II must be good enough not
TO require label TO make Mr.. Hender-
son appreciate II.
Many years ago Judge TuthiIl presided
in the Eighth judicial district of Iowa,
and though an excellent iurist he was
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
Thin Crust Perforated.

Representative Hay of Virginia tells
this:
MY State is rich in almost every
thing. and It is a matter of history that
oil was discovered there many, many
years ago.
II have heard a story about the first
borings for oil. away back I'm slavery
days. The prospectors were anxious to
complete certain test and kept the ne
groes at work during the night
In the dead hours OF night vein of
gas was struck. Rushing out with great
force and lgniting from the fire, the gas
shot up a stream OF brilliant fame hun
dreds Of feet In the air. The terrified
darkies made a break for the masters
quarters and cried out, Wake up, mas
ter! We've broke through into hell"
Couldn't Wind Up the Thermometer.
In ancient times. that is some fifty
years ago" Gays Representative Robin
son OF Indiana, shortly after the State
house at indianapolis was completed. II
was proposed by one OF the legislators
to buy a Thermometer for the hall at
an expense pot exceeding $3.50
The motion brought the distinguished
representative from - county 10 hic
feet, who eloquently inveighed against
spending the hard arnings OF the peo-
pie in this ar way and he added. Mr..
Speaker. 81 we bought that thermomicon
I don't believe there's one man here who
knows how to wind the cussed thing
up'"
The Washington times., 1904-02-14

the dark river. Then Paint IT red grew
to mean simply a glorious good time,
either on water or on land. The express
sion grew worldwide untn now It is
universal
The Washington times., 1904-02-14

better men. and in time may they be-
come useful and upright citizens and
honorable members of society
ITO add to the situation, a member
yelled out at the conclusion of the
prayer Mr. President, ] move to strike
out Colo county"
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
Fire Insanity.

The bravest men will go TO pieces at
a fire" said a Georgia Representative
while speaking of the Baltimore fire.
II remember being in Athens. Ga, a
number of years ago. when a message
was received that lhe splendid home Of
Capt. II. IL Carlton. in Goldman. was
on fire. He was in the office Of his pa
per at the time, and when notified that
his home was burning he went all to
pieces. it requtsng the efforts of three
men to lift him TO the back of his
horse.
When he reached the burning build
ing ne made his way to the second story
and began to throw out glassware. The
always brave man was simply crazy.
And yet he was In some of the hottest
battles when the 'Yanks were pepper
ing us, and nothing unnerved him.
The Washington times., 1904-02-14

delega ton came to Washington for the
purpose of having the major dismissed.
but Jackson gave them a cold reception.
When their mission was announced.
Jackson said:
Gentlemen. Major Croghan has hon.
estly and fairly won the right 10 get
drunk every week. or every r9y Of his
life; and. not only that. it is my honest
and candid opinion the United States
should pay for his whisky. Let him
drink to his hearts content, by gad, sir
An Ambiguous Prayer.
The determination on the part Of
some of the leading Masons to do away
with wine at banquets." said a Florida
Representative. reminds me of what a
preacher said in a prayer at one of our
blow-outs in Jacksonville. The min
lister was not one OF US; he had never
been initiated into the secrets of our
order. and in his prayer he said.
oh. Lord. We have come to offer
onr prayer unto Thee for what we
know not. If it be for anythingtEood
wilt Thou bless it: If for anything bad.
wilt Thou curse it
HE WIS demonstrated with by one of
the fraternity, and his reply was. if
you tap the barrel. you must take the
older as it runs
The Washington times., 1904-02-14

member deserves the thapixs of the peo-
pie of Mississippi 1t gives me pleasure
to sign the act, for l feel that nothing
short of a gallon Of whisky is calculated
to satisfy the average thirsty MISSISSIPPI
plan! No doubt the next Legislature
will make it a keg.'"
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
HENDERSON
MCLAURIN
ALLEN
A Powerless Cyclone.

IT HE Hon. William Jennings Bryan
is furnishing considerable amuse-
ment to a good-sized contigent
Of those of the Democratic faith. and
the following good story is credited 70
ex-senator Jones of Arkansas:
"A number Of years ago there lived
iE Sewer county, my state. a splendid
fellow named Dave Polk. of massive
frame and giant strength. He had liv-
ing with him little weakened fellow not
much larger than an English spar
row, whom Polk took peculiar pleasure
in teasing.
"On one of the wagon team trips 10
Camden with a load OF cotton Polk
had been rigging the little fellow un-
mercifully. While sitting around the
camp fire that night the little fellow.
Jones. suddenly jumped on top OF Folks
shoulders and began to paste him over
the head. The strong right arm of Polk
reached back and gathering Jones he
pulled him over in front Of him. asking
in a tsntalizing way:
why. Jones, what are you doing?'
" 'Fightin like hell was the reply. as
he houndered around IN a vain effort to
extricate himself.
&" oh. is that all: then go ahead and
amuse yourself. Jones. thought may
be you had the beilyache Go on and
amuse yourself. boy
The Washington times., 1904-02-14
A Mississippi Expression.

There have been lots OF stories told
giving the origin of the expression
Painting It red. q" remarked Senator
4IcLaurin OF Mississippi to a group Of
friends, but I believe the expression
originated on TIE grand old Mississippi
Away back in the sos racing was
the most exciting feature Of river life.
and whenever an opportunity was given
for the sport every man on the boats
would prepare for the contest as II their
lives depended on the result. Upon en-
tering the race the first order OF the
captain would be Paint her red, boys
and the firemen would heap the coal and
wood on until the furnaces glowed like
the MONDAY sun and their crimson
glare could be seen for miles around on
The daily sentinel., 1904-04-01
Good Road Needed.

R. P. Davie came up from Fruita
last night by conveyance and said
that the one particular thing in this
country needed above all things was
a good gravel road from here to Fruita
or in fact from Palisades to Fruita.
He said. however, the best way to get
the road built was to build one mile
at time and when the public real
ize from travel over that one mile,
the delight of travelling on road of
that character it will be very easy to
secure additional miles of road built.
Mr.. Davie said that in order to
stimulate WORK looking toward the
matter of securing better driving roads
for tbs country, he would donate 5000
toward the building of the first mile
of road of the character referred to
above Here is an offer of public
spirited man who sees the absolute
necessity of securing better roads than
we have at present, as they are bad
enough everyone knows.
The daily sentinel., 1904-04-01
US. DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE
WEATHER BUREAU,
Grand Junction, Col,

Grand Junction, Colo.
Local observations taken at 6
O'Clock, Mountain Time.
Maxium temperature during past "a
hours, Al.
Minimum temperature this morning
80 degrees.
Relative humidity at 6 2. m. yes
terday, "a per cent. Relative humid
ity at a. m. "a per cent
Precipitation during the past "a
hours. 0.1S
Forecast for Western Coiorado-
For Grand Junction an6 Vicinity
Generally fair tonight and Satur-
day. A ridge of high atmospheric
pressure extends from the North Pa
cific southwark over the Central Rocky
Mountain Region. Comparatively
low pressure IN the southwest.
Freezing temperatures prevail over
portions of New Mexico and Utah
and from Colorado and Kansa, north
ward. Killing frosts are reported
from Modena, Utah and Pocatello.
Idaho, and heavy frost at Baker City,
Oregon.
.HDuring the past III hours precipita-
tion occurred over New Mexio. Colo
RADIO and Wyoming, and snow was
falling this morning at Denver.
R. H. SULLIVAN,
Observer. Weather Bureau.
The daily sentinel., 1904-04-01
Observer. Weather Bureau.

Yesterdays storm undoubtedly
looked a trife discouraging for the
Easter bonnet. but Forecaster Sulli-
van advises that its purchase be not
abandoned yet, as there is plenty of
time in which the weather may clear
off before the momentous occasion.
in fact. today has been most delights
full Tie storm practically settles the
question that there will be no rain
on Sunday. and there is hardly a
chance that more will follow tomor-
row. In that event the air will be
perfectly clear and there will be plenty
of sunshine for Easter. The most per-
feet Easter Grand function has known
was proceeded by such weather as
this and so there is every hope that
Easter will be a real spring day.
The daily sentinel., 1904-04-01
Sudden Death of
Alfred DarneII.

Alfred Darnell, an aged citizen of
this city. died at his home on White
street this morning at about five o.
clock. The deceased retired last night
at about nine thirty O'Clock in his
usual health. He has been ailing some
what all winter but was on the streets
as usual yesterday. When his wife
retired about ten O'Clock she noticed
that her husband was breathing heav-
ily. The family physician F. R.
Smith was called and did everything
possible. but he never regained con-
sciousness. DR.. Smith saws the imme-
diate case of death WAS blood clot
at the base of the brain
The deceased was in his sixty fourth
year and has been residing in this
CITY and valley for a period of nine
years. He was born at Plano, Illinois,
aud resided in that state and Iowa
before removing to Colorado. He
was a veteran of the civil war and
always affiliated with the G. A. R.
organization wherever he resided.
A wife and five children survive
him. the children are Mrs. Lily Bush
nell residing at Fruita, John, a resi-
dent of this city. Mrs. Amy Miller of
near Fort Collins, Mrs. Jennie King.
wife of F. o. King of this city and
the youngest daughter Effie. who but
recently left to visit her sister Mrs.
Miller near Fort Collins.
The daily sentinel., 1904-04-01
SHE
nge to say.

Yes. dear,
1 fear
1 love another, strange to say.
Brunette,
This pet,
And 1 am with her night and day.
Just now.
| vow
1 pressed her fondly to my lips;
The kiss
Was bliss
And thrilled me to my finger tips
Don't pontl She's out
And you are sweeter love by far,
Altho'
By Joel
She was an awful good cigar!
The daily sentinel., 1904-04-01

she was an awful good cigar!
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-02-19
AT THE GRAND
New azIo.zaaa AHeu.

4
The famous Brothers Damn in the
brand new pantomime trick farce mus.
tical comedy, The New zig-zag Alley
will apr ear at the Grand next Tues,
day night.
The New zig-Zag Alley is described
rs bis merry whirling wheel of fun
with. no limit of trick scenery. panto.
Imimie work, novel scenic and mecban.
ical effects, pretty musical numbers
and wonderful specialities. 1t was de.
signed for laughing purposes and is
said to be full Of life and go from start
to finish. The production is well stag.
FED, nc expense having been spared to
make The New ziz-zag Alley. second
edition, the leader or all trick panto-
mime conceded.
The large company includes the
kennebel Brothers, from the Hippo.
orome Berlin, Ferguson and Passmore
fred Whitfield. schr2ck and Rice trio
experts. Ed Forest. Nellie Belmont
Janet Hopkins, 2ay Welles. Gail
Pein, BIaneh Bsyar Eme Leslie Dali.
sy Duryea. Adah " tlker, Jessie Dale
Anna Casselle. Bessie Phillips and
the famous Brothers Damn.
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-02-19
The storI,s-

Some good folks in this world labor
under the peculiar delusion that non.
sense is synonymous with friYoIty
and that both are a waste of time in
this serious world, A prominent doc
Tor once asserted that nonsense was
The best sense and only to be appre
ciated by man Of sense, while anoth.
er doctor had it that if a straw could
tickle a man it was an instrument OF
happiness.
Nonsense at any rate is the enc
|sisnlanguage most understood by all
men, and as introduced ia The storks
rom a financial and artistic stand
point was a great success. and most
thoroughly encouraged and appreciate
Jed by almost every deyotee ii beauty
laughter ana song last season when
this merry musical fantasy was pre-
5ented here
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-02-19
Setter Than Cold.

RCtAST nan GUlus
Il was troubled for several years
with chronic Indigestion and nervous
debility" writes f. J. Green, OF Ian
caster, N. II. No remedy helved me
until | began using Electric Bttters,
which did me more good than all the
medicine | ever used. They also kept
my wife in excellent health for years.
She says Electric Bitters are Just
plendid for female troubles; that they
re a grand tonic and invigorator for
weak, run down women. No other
medicine can take its place in our fam
iiy.' Try them. Only soc Satisfae.
ton guaranteed by all druggists.
Vest Pocket Doctor.
Never in the way no trouble to car.
ry, easy to take, pleasant and never
failing in results are DeWitt's Little
Early Risers. A vial Of these little
Pills in the yest pocket is certain
guarantee against headache, bilious
ness, torpid liver and all Of the ills
resulting from constipation. They ton
c and strengthen r. liver. Sold by
Iall druggists.
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-02-19

Rydales Stomach Tablets are made
for the stomach and organs of assim,
iltion and are not intended for a cure
al" They contain consecrated asep-
lie, pepsin, pure pancroatin and other
digestive agents. They contain power
full tones and mild stimulants that
have specific effect on the stomach
ana organs Of assimilation ana which
aid nature in reconstructing the brok.
en- down cells and strengthening the
hacid muscles Of the walls of the
stomach and other digestive organs.
Rydales stomach tablets are perfect
stomach medicine. they relieve at once
and soon cure the worst forms of stom-
ach troubles. Price 25 and SO cents
box
For Sac by Fortson's drug store,