davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 There is room enough in any nun for three hands when they are sleish-riding.
 It is better to have a dollar bill In your pocket than a lot of them on margins.
 A man is wasting his time to reason with women when there are babies he can do it with.
 When a girl and a man come into a room with her hair all mussed up it is a sign she isn't going to tell anybody how it happened.
 A nice thing about cold weather is the way 1t makes you feel ashamed of your self for having growled so much in the summer over the heat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
THE WHISkERARIUM.

From the Eddyville Qa) Tribune. If you want your soap strainers pruned we will block them out in any pattern lip ticklers, fantails. billy goats or preacherinos-
 Hair cuts of all kinds from woody will lies to ring-around-roseys Wash your ears without extra charge.
 JAGER'S WHISKERARIUM,
 Telephone Building
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
MOTHER OF RIGHT SORT

From the Somerville Journal.
 "Oh, mammal" exclaimed little Alice. rushing in from school. Edith Talbot has got the lovsliest mother that ever was! She Is such a beautiful mother! I do wish you could see herr'
 Tell me about her. Alice.' said her mother. "why is she so lovely?''
 Why" said Alice. she lets Ethel say By golly!' all she wants to-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
A Satisfied chlnaman.
the Dot,han slftings.

From the Dothan slftings
 Dothan has an American Chinaman who knows but little more about China than some American missionaries. He went over there and looked around for a couple of years, when boy, and tried 10 go to school. but gave 1t up as a bad job. and returned to the place of his na- tivity and went along with his English and ironing, happy as if he'd never seen the old country
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
Usually Wins.

From the Eufaula Times.
 Perhaps the fellow who originated the old saying, light the devil with fire" didn't know that the old gentleman was prepared to beat him the best two out of three in a game like that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
COMPARISON IS IN FAVOR
 OF THE GIRL STUDENTS

a systematic and uniform physical de- velopment is aimed at and attained, without borrowing from the extreme fa- natical athletic specialism of the mems s colleges.
 It would be interesting to compare the statistics of mortality of the mems col- leges with those of the womens.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

possession of her wealth. She labored with the wisdom of a Solomon, the cum ming of a Maehiavelli, and the daring of a John Lawson If she was smart enough to make those guillible infantile and sim ple-minded bankers hand over millions on a security that was improbable on the face of 1t, and not worth postage stamp, she certainly ought to be allowed to depart in peace. It is the dupes and not Mrs. Cassie L. Chadwick who ought to be jeered at They have displayed an astonishing lack of common sense and business acumen that will go down in history as a tribute to the power of a designing woman or else a remarkable example of incompetent men in high places. Mrs. Chadwick has simply demon- strated that she is the first woman ''grafter'' in the land. So long as people want to be feeeed other people can be found who will undertake the job, and the grand army of "grafters' in all parts of the country cannot but cherish secret admiration for the prowess of Cassie L. Chadwick
 Charles M. sehwab has created rip
 
 Now there is no reason why MT. Schwab should not wear $50 shoes if he wants to. It is believed that he has enough money to indulge such whims, but what good does it do man to pay $50 for shoes when he can get a pair equally as good and equally as serviceable for SlO at the most. A great many people manage to travel through this vale of tears without paying over $7 for pair of shoes; a great many more make out'' with s3.5o shoes and a multitude wear no shoes at all. The same principle applies to the cigar that costs a dollar and the cigarette that costs more per cigarette than a good cigar. However, the explanation of such purchases is not far to seek. The man who pays $50 for pair of shoes knows as well as the shoemaker knows, that they are not worth $40 more than other fine handmade shoes. He simply craves the prestige of paying $50 for pair of shoes. That | Is all.
 The old adage Heaven for climate and hell for company has just received new interpretation, revised version as it were, that is "rawther'' interesting Ar eastern dame at club meeting the | other day remarked that the Mormons ] believe that all unmarried women will go to hell, and since many men are going to hell the unmarried women seem to have the best of the bargain. However, married women need not be alarmed un- duly by this sulphurous assertion. While | 1t is quite probable that helIs capacity will be taxed, still there are few good men scattered about in spots who will go up instead of down, while there are some few married women who may take the subway.
 1 Just now the Jefferson bible" seems to be one of the "best selling books It is by far one of the most popular pub lications ever issued by the government and makes the esteemed congressional record look like a patent medicine alma mac. No disparagement is meant to the Jefferson bible by this remark, however. | It Is really in great demand and the first edition of 10000 copies is exhausted. A case is on record where one individual | requested lone of them Joe Jefferson Bibles," but it has not been substantiated. and we will let it pass. P. c.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
Works Both Ways.

From the Guntersville Democrat.
 Between the enforced Simple Life and the doings of Frenzied Finance the poor newspaper man is rendered both frenzled and fanatic.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
]. CAESAR.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer. This is the way the Philadelphia En- quirer puts 1t:
 Imperial Caesar, dead and carved in stone.
 May be an ornament to Washington. But why not:
 Imperial Caesar, dead a:.d done in clay, May serve to edify the staring jay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

A New York man drank some cham pagne the other day and then declared that he was auitor of Akron, o. He probably did not drink very much, or he would have declared himself Presi- uent of the United States.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

A Kansas cattleman has just been welded to his wife for the third time. It is time they made up their minds as to whether they want to stay mar ried or div ced.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

What Mrs. Chadwick needs is some one who can boom the securities in her strong box to par.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

When Wall street is not given over to frenzied finance - becomes subject to spells O. hysterical finance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

A gentleman who claims to be a cousin of General Miles has just been given six n .----- in prison at his own request. The general ought to look after his poor relations, now that he has gotten a job.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
ALABAMA PRESS.
Firet Question.

From the Columbiana Peoples Advocate.
 The first and most important question in the land today is pure ballot. untaint- ed by fraud and corruption.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Mrs. Chadwick fooled bankers, capi- talists, lawyers, doctors and the like, but it is nowhere recorded that she fooled a newspaper man into signing 8 $500 900 note.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
stlII Doing Business.

From the Union Springs Herald.
 A recent decision of the postofrice de- pertinent makes the publication of guess ing contests illegal, but 1t is to be noticed that the weather bureau Is still doing business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
What We Need.

From the Collinsville Courier.
 More broad-backed hogs and less mar now politics will add to the material wealth of the south and its contentment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Miss Gladys Vanderbilt, 30,000,OO girl, has just made her debut. There Is no danger of her ever dying an old Eaid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Andrew Carnegie prefers travelling towards Florida to travelling towards Cleveland, Ohio. One suits, it seems, lumbago, and the other does not.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The boil weevil is probably listening the keyhole at Shreveport while the boil weeyu convention plots his destruction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

MT. Carnegie may not know his own signature when he meets it in Cleve- land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The Christmas edition of the Ensley Enterprise Is an artistic specimen of typographical work and reflects credit on Editor l.. P Hill.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

A trolley car was wrecked during an 'inky-black" fog in Chicago the other day This sounds like a nautical tale, but l IS not.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Hettie Green defends in an inter- view Cassie Chadwick. She thinks the chief villain is concealed in the wood pile,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The checks of Andrew Carnegie that he personally signs are still consid cred good.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Mrs. Chadwick also owes s30,OOO in Brussels. She will probably owe it this time next year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Colonel Bill Greene proposes to shoot prices up, and Col. Tom Lawson pro poses to write them down. The two colonels should meet and settle the problem with pen and pistol.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

There are 49 boys to every 51 girls in this country, and this means much distress in pairing time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The man in the Chadwick case has not been uncovered.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

MT. Carnegie, full of lumbago, is no opponent to face successfully Mrs. Chadwick. who gets away with the best of men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Col. Bill Greene proposes to go duel ing to make a Boston holiday.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The stock of earls and dukes still holds out, and so does the rich Ameri- can girl.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

John D. Rockefeller Is reported to have put s4,OO0,O0O in the stocking of President Harper, and it is not Christ mas yet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Prince Fushimi has departed for the west, where he will play the roll of the occidental tenderfoot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Between Wall street flurries and Chadwick revelations, these be parlous times.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Dr. Dowie's unmistakable gold-bricl talent is 44lting him out of debt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The Port Arthur fleet is out of reach of the Japs at last.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

A Buffalo man has devised a meter that will not register. He ought to be able to dispose of few of them around the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Mrs. Chadwick appears to have been a female Svengali.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Andrew Carnegie still insists that he has but one daughter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Brother Parkhurst calls divorces tandem Mormonism.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Richard Strauss has just been given 5000 for his new symphony. That is better than writing popular novels.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The czar's red-flag subjects are too spontaneous to be a comfort to him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Dave Hill now asks postponement of his retirement date. He dreads ob- scurity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The Port Arthur fleet stood too pat.
 It stood for Protection, and did not get it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The tlo.Ne. now but one long bleat of the lambs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
You yourself

You yourself Are much eondemn'd to have an itch ing palm; To sell and mart your offices for gold, To undeservers.
 Julius Caesar.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

No communication will be published without it's authors name. Rejected manuscripts will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

L. H. Russ and J. H. Caffee are the only authorized travelling representatives of The Age-Herald in it's circulation de- pertinent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

The Sevastopol has at last been count sd out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16

Washington Bureau Age-Heralc, 142i c Street, N. W.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-13
WITH BURGLAR
Chloroform Fmled-Woman Talked
Him Into COMPROMISE.

Mrs. Terney, proprietress of roadhouse on
strong's Causeway, Flushing. Long Island. told
friends yesterday the details of adventure she
had with burglar on the night of October %.
Mrs. TIerney and her cook were the only occu-
occupied a room on the first floor. and the cook
slept upstairs. About o'clock in the morning
Mrs. Tierney awakened She heard footsteps
IN the barroom, across the hallway. She arose.
lighted lamp, and started with it for the bar
room. The burglar. as soon she opened the door
leading TO the barroom, dashed the lamp from her
hand with a stick. He then seized her, threw her
to the floor and placed a cloth saturated with
chloroform over her mouth.
The anasthetio did not prove of sufficient
strength to have any effect on Mrs. Tierney. In
the mean time the burglar retained firm hold on
her. He was big. powerful German, well dressed.
and wore a mask. Mrs Tierney is a small woman.
and was not able to make any fight against the in
truder AS soon as she recovered slightly from her
fright, she realized that her only chance of safety
appeal to the burglars reason. She asked
fenceless woman; If he thought he would like II II
his mother sister were to be treated so; II he
thought that money obtained in that way would DO
him any good
Tierney get up, and she sat down in chair near
him. They talked for hour and a half MIS-.
Tierney found that the burglar was an Intelligent
man. She thinks that he came from Corona. ne
finally agreed to compromise with her If she would
give him what money was in the cash drawer. 10
this she assented. The money amounted TO about
Sl4 With this the burglar climbed out OF the WIN
dow through which he had effected entrance,
and disappeared in the darkness. Mrs Tierney said
she did not tell anybody until yesterday OF the oc-
currence for fear the cook would leave her.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-13
PRAYER SETTLES JURY's WRANGLE.
After Holding Out AL Night, Lone Director
Appeals to Higher Wisdom.
FAY TELEGRAPH TO THE TRIRUNE.l

Camden n. J.. Nov. 12.-By prayer early this
morning juror 1 trolley damage suit settled an
all night wrangIe in the jury room and gave the
plaintiff verdict. The case under elaboration was
one for damages brought by Mrs Louis S. Mickle
against the Camden and Suburban Railway. The
suit was tried yesterday. and sersaJ ional in
some respects.
From their first ballot the jury stood Ii to IN
favor of the woman. The eleven men labored
throughout the night with the single juror. but TO
no effect. Just dawn was creeping through the
windows the unusual sight Of the lone juryman
going down on his knees was witnessed. He prayed
earnestly for several minutes and on rising went
into conference again After brief deIberation
last poll was taken, and the man voted with the
others for verdict for Mrs. Mickle and damages
fixed at $500
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-13
CAN'T WE'D IN TRINITY
DR.. Dir Bars DiUorced Persons from,
Marriage--A Ne1o Crusade.

The Rev. Dr. Morgan Dix has decided that here
after divorced person shall be married in any OF
the nine churches and chapes Of Trinity parish In
statement made public yesterday DR.. Dix says he
believes that the movement about TO be started will
eventually embody in the canoncal laws OF the
Episcopal Church a clause forbidding the remar-
riage Of any divorced person whether guilty or in
nocent, by clergyman of this denomination.
mass meeting will be held in St. Agness
Chapel West Ninety-second-st, this afternoon. DR..
DIX will preside Addresses will be made by Co
adjutor Bishop Greer Bishop Courtney, Silas Nc
Bee and others. According TO present plans, this
is to be the first of series Of meetings which will
seek to win public sentiment 10 render it
possible to make the proposed change at the gen.
eraI convention in 1907.
DR.. Dix said that he believed in divorce-that is.
the separation of persons who could not live to-
gether. but that until of the contracting par
ties should die the woman had a husband and the
wife and neither should remarry.
II is said that the Rev. DR.. William 7. Man
ming. the vicar of st. Agnes. conceived the plan
for to-day's meeting, disappearing the adoption OF
g compromise at the recent Boston convention.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-13
EXERCISES at FORT WASHINGTON.
Old Cannon To Be Placed on Monument on
Anniversary of Battle.

An old cannon given to the American Scenic and
Historic Preservation Society by Mrs. Ferdinand
p Earle mounted on a carriage provided by the
Empire state Society. Sons OF the American Revo
htion will be placed on the Fort Washington
Monument Fort Washington-ave, opposite One
hundred -third-st, with historical
cises by the two societies. on Wednesday at $3.50
m the l2sth anniversary OF the battle of Fort
Washington.
Walter 6 Logan, acting president of toe scenic
societv and president OF the Sons OF the American
revolution will preside. Between the invocation
nv tina Rev Frank Oliver Hall. chaplain OF the
SONS OF the American Revolution. and the bene-
6ict,on nv the Rev. Frederic Greaves rector of
povrood Church. there Will be ten minute ad-
dresses by Mr.. Logan, in behalf Of the Sons OF
the American Revolution; r. P Bolton. for the
scar,c society; President Charles V. Fornes. for
tba citv and John Townshend. for James Gordon
perrett who gave the monument The cannon
Wanderpool the latter president of tine Woman's
IXfiisrv or the scenic society. At the unveilin9
,ha~ win be an artillery salute by Captain Louis
SKya1aaIts battery and standing salute by guards
y. honor from Lloyd Aspinwall Post G. A. r. the
yNosbineton Continental Guards, and the Continen-
,sis q nd Rough Riders from the Hebrew Shetering
SmsrJjsn Society Orphanage The band from the
latter institution win furnish music
TS tt,a weather should be inclement the exercises
viii he held in the Guildhan Of Holyrood Church
et one-hnndr ed and eighty-frst-st and Broadway
rS,s noeynhers of Washington Heights Chapter
will hold an informal reception In the Guild
hall from 30 to $50 p. m
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-13
An INSURANCE PROTEST.
Property Owners Declare Certain
Rates Induce Incendiarisml.

The United Real Estate Owners Association
combination of real estate and property owners
associations. comprising about fifteen thousand
members. has taken steps toward investigation
OF the many incendary fires Of recent occurrence in
this city. A committee OF the associations has
sent a communication TO the New-York Fire Elk
change, saying, in part:
Premiums have been raised too high certain
classes OF property. where losses from fire have
been very small. Insurers of such property con-
slider it unfair and bad policy to be called upon TO
Insurance companies to meet their out of town
losses provide for risks which not profitable,
sured is relieved of property business at price
obtained from his insurance. which enables him
to make an advantageous change or new begin
ming.
We find that good store. business mot hazardous).
residential property, including fats, tenements and
apartment houses, are paying greater rate OF IN
Of insurance has always been profitable at the
former moderate rates where the moral risks are
good.
We recommended that any necessity OF increasing
rates should be confined the classes of insurance
where losses justify it, and should be extended
TO properties the insurance OF which at Just ana
No property should be insured for more than its
real market value. Insurance for the purpose of a
mortgage qualification is bad policy and immoral
inasmuch in any event the insurance company
pays only actual losses; and the difference between
the real value of the property and the unnatural
insurance for the purpose of satisfying the require
ments of a mortgage is vicious in principle.
There should be at least q small dlnerence pc
tween the amount of the insurance and the actual
value Of the Property so as 10 preserve t9G e
by the exercise Of proper care and attention to his
Personal property should be examined. other
wise its value ascertained before being insured IN
MANY cases personal property is insured Tor much
more than its actual value
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-13
MESSAGE FROM POPE TO PRESIDENT;
Archbishop Chapelle, the Bearer, Praises
Roosevelt's Philippine Policy.

Archbishop Placide chapel!e. of New-orleans
Apostolic Delegate to Cuba and Porto Rico, re-
turned Yesterday on the steamer La Lorraine. after
a two months visit at Rome.
The Pope received ne most graciously, he said
and we talked several times on the conditions
here and in Cuba and Porto Rico. bear with me
a message to the President from Pope Plus. He
was delighted with my description OF Mr. Roose-
Welt and has made the bearer of a message OF
kindness and good fellowship.
81 described the President man OF honor, Of
integrity and of good intentions regarding the Phil
tppines and said that under his administration the
Islands with which I was for a time associated,
would rapidly progress IN every branch Of industry
and education I personally greatly pleased at
his election. and as as learned of his choice
while we were still at sea. l sent him conSratu-
latorv message by wireless.
II think Mr. Roosevelt's attitude regarding the
Philippines is right for. now that we have them,
Il would be the worst thing which could happen TO
the inhabitants to he thrown their own resources
and LEFT 10 their devices. Now that we have
them we should keep them I am Mr.. Roose-
Welt will do all that is possible for their welfare
and their good.
ton where he will meet President Roosevelt and
deliver personally the message from Rome
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-13
OMITTED PART OF HIS LECTURE
Mr.. Elmendorf Accedes to Request Regard
ing Pictured Bull Fights.

Because several persons complained that their
moral sense would be offended and shocked by
the exhibition Of the pictures Of bull fight that
are part OF the lecture OF Dwight L. ElInendorf
on Spain" and because Professor Franklin W.
Hooper director of the Brooklyn Institute Of Arts
and Sciences. sympathized with the sentiment Mr..
Emendorf eXpurgated the lecture and did not show
the pictures objected when the lecture was
given under the auspices of the institute in Asso-
citation Hall, Brooklyn. yesterday.
Professor Hooper wrote 2 letter telling the
lecturer that he thought it would be violation Of
the prophecies TO give lantern slide exhibition
order or request to omit the pictures. Mr.. Elmen-
dorf took 1t such, and acted accordingly. lie
was more amused than displeased by the objection
LAS I giving my lecture under the auspices
Of the institute" said Mr.. Elmendorf 1T
clearly my duty to yield to the wishes OF the man
agement."
Some Of the audience made some rather tart re-
marks. however. when they learned why one OF
the most interesting features OF the lecture had
been eliminated.