The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-02-27
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marriage man Is known by the COM
pany he keeps. Husband--And after?
Wife-By the clothes his wife wears.
Town Topics.
Goodman-Do you ever think Of the
good old saying that it's more blessed
to give than to receive? Pugsley-
Yes, when I've got the boxing gloves
on l do.-Vogue.
Coming around: Mrs. Caffrey-
And how is that pretty young widow
Is she reconciled to her loss YETI Mrs.
Malaprop-No, she amt exactly rec.
onciled yet, but they do say she's got
the man picked out.-Tit-Bits.
An alternative: Mahooie-Nixt
tonne OF pass wild a loidy, Mulligan,
we've got to remove your hat! Null
ligan-And suppose OF refuse? Ma
hoole-Then, bedad, we've got to re-
move your coat.-Chicago News.
Juvenile reasoning: Sammy-Going
to move soon, Tommy? Tommy-Yes.
Sammy-How do you know? Tom
my-Ah! How do / know! Didn't
me mother femme break a winder
tother day and didn't say nothin' p
T1t-Bits.
Kitty Ito Bertha in her new frockl
Why, darling, how becoming your
gown Isl Absolutely any one would
think it quite new! Bertha-So kind
of you to say so! And yours, dear,
looks every bit as we'll as it did years
ago.-Boston Transcript.
The doctors orders: Dedelia-Phat
are yez dom takin the lock off the
cupboard dure, Pat? Are yez crazy
Pat-No, darlint; tn dochtor tould me
to-day that must quit boltin' me
food-and I'm goin' to obey insthrus
tions!-Cincinnati Times-Star.
! Mother-Why don't you behave bet
= ter to your teacher? Tommy-Why
I'm as kind to her as kin be. Moth
er-You are2 Tommy--Yesm. Ev
cry time she ticks me cry as loud as
I kin SOS to make her believe she's
hurtin' me.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Hardupp-I tried to sell those dia
monds l bought Of you, and was told
they were not genuine. Jeweler-
Did you sell them? Hardupp-Yes, fol
almost nothing. Jeweler-Weu you &c
back and try to buy them, and yor
will find out that they are genuine
Exchange.
Rosalie-Have you chosen any oil
your bridesmaids yet? May-Yes-,
Fanny Lyon. Rosalie-Why,
thought you hated her? May-No
not exactly; but the bridesmaids are
to wear yellow, and you can imagine
how that will go with Fanny's com
plex1on.-Bazar.
First impressions: "The first time
saw you l thought how lucky
should be If could induce that de
lIcous little angel to be my wife.
And what did you think? 81 thought
oh! dear me! wonder If l shall
ever have to marry such a homely
looking man as thatv Puck.
He had promised: The fair brid,
wept copiously. "Boo-hoow sh,
screamed; you are a mean old thing
SO there! You didn't eat one of m,
biscuitsv' "But, darling "Ther'
Is no excuse, sir! Didn't you tell MI
when you married me-boo- hoo!-tha
you would die for meT-Baltimor,
News.
Obviously: Benevolent old gentle
man-Don't you think fishing a crue
sport? Fisherman-I should jus
think it was. I've been sitting her
five hours and never had single bite
and I've got three wasp stings, ant
been eaten up with flies, and the sun
taken all the skin off the back Of m,
neck!-Pick-Me-Up.
Her conclusion: "Do you thinl
your father has any idea that 1 hav
serious Intentions concerning your
~ heard him telling mother, the othe
day, that he didn't think it would cos
any more to have you at the tabl
regularly than 1t does for me to fee,
you from the pantry shelves ever,
night" Chicago Record-Herald.
Walter Scott liked to tell the stor,
Of his meeting an Irish beggar in tn
street who importuned him for six
pence. Not having one, Scott CAV
him a shilling. adding with a laugh
"Now remember, you owe me six
pence" "Och, sure enough" said tn
beggar, land God grant you may liv
till 1 pay you"-Youth's companion
Customer-Waiter, beefsteak
Quick! I'm in a hurry! Waiter-W
haven't any beefsteak, sir! Custome
"A chop, then. Waiter-Chops If of
Customer-Well, then, an omelet
Waiter-Impossible, sir, We Gus
tomer-What! Why, have you nott
ing at all in your restaurant? Waite
Yes, sir; we've got bailiff-
Customer (sharpening his knife on tn
edge Of the plate)-Then let's hav
one.-London Tit-Bits.
A preacher at the conclusion of on
Of his sermons said: Let all in tn
house who are paying their debt
stand up." Instantly every man, VIZ