West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-06-23

DC crest iilicn When shF unis
out LIS curious she's escaped so
long. expect ri have ~ take ~
my heels 10 save my bic.". ~hs n
She makes the discovery. ~a< 4
rash trick - play. bn, I've pas ed
Rasher--Old ? YOU don't call tina
old do ,om ? defy "ne 81 you "a
prove ,nat yon ever heard me
breathe that pun before; at II rs
old, shy it's like cheese and wine,
all the better for il. II didn't
&c, tina, of ON an average nnre =
day, ~ some shape, ,ou might be-
gin To think me sick. like the old
ady who had los, all appetite for
her murders. But. as was SAYING.
you can't make pork out OF pig i,rn,
and You can't make fAshinna Die
:nan out of your old oron,. It's
dreadful, know. Mrs Rashrr is
in despair.
She says IL I'd been born in
France, I'd have talked plain Eng
llsn from baby, because | can't
say "oni !" "oui |" like weak old
piglet But o dear | dont mean
to cast reflections upon my partner;
she's good woman, il she wasn't
so ambitious, and she's gone into
the country to stay week, and
give us a chance to have regular
old fashioned supper, with plenty
TO eat and drink, the whole night
to set up in, and not caring dime
whether we knew how to call the
chicken fixin's by their French rig
amaroles or not.
I'll tell you what drove her into
the country-'twasn't because she
had natural liking for seeing The
dandellons come up in the spring
'twasn't even 10 get fresh eggs and
young onions, though they'll recon
Gle her to the change as much as
anything can. She's gone home
with old Uncle and Aunt Rasher-
you remember 'em Tom ? You see,
they came to make us Il visit, and
she got IN hurry L. see 'em off.
and told 'em she'd go nome with
EN- and finish the visit out there.
enjoyed myself while the old folks
were here. Never enjoyed myself
better In The same space of time.
You see, invited 'em,-on the sly,
Mrs, Rasher wasi'l expecting 'em
in. fact, she was right in the midst
OF one OF her fashionable sworrys.
She was setting on the sofa, young
Flummery one side of her and that
Fitz Simmons on The other, and
dozen OF our most super elegant
guests around her. knew what
was coming, and was kind OF walk
ing around, waiting. | knew they'd
be in on the, eight O'Clock train, and
| sent John down with the carriage
TO bring 'em up. l had one ear
open, and heard 'em in the hall
but Mrs. Rasher didn't, or thought
they were more of her friends, till
Patrick threw the door open. and
the blaze of gasl.ght fell refulgently
upon the curious pair, for they are
curious, 30 mistake, and as good as
they are queer. Aunt Rasher
nursed me through the measles,
when ] was fourteen. and never
shall forget the pie and gingelb bread
she put 10 my way, when my
appetite began to come round all
right. IL | should rise in lite as
the shot tower, III never forget the
benevolent countenance with which
she used to see me devour these
prodigal sweets. | asked 'em here
because / wanted to- see 'em. and
treat 'em to the best, as we'll as to
plague Marier, but I'd no idea she
would get the best OF me in doing
it. That woman is too much for
me generally ! But I'll die game
She's afraid of my tricks, IL she
does deny it. My advice to Won,
my friends, is--When you're deal
ing with your wives TO be like owls.
appear wiser than you are; il wo
man once gets II into her head that
she's the smsuest, she'll tyrannize
over you like cat over captive
mouse. Mrs. Rasher is big and
am little; and | am naturally mild
and fOTgiWng, which Is very much
against me. and don't mind own
ing that / have given up To her
more than ! ought, for instance
cutting some Of my best friends.
which ! don't intend dong any
longer
But where did leave my good
old uncle and aunt 7-standing in
the door, winking under the sudden
glare, and evidently unprepsred for
company. When Marer saw who
they we're she started them 10 hurry
them upstairs, but Aunt Rasher met
her hallway, and got hold Of her
hand, which she shook like an ague
At, crying out in that sharp, high
voice Of hers--"How de do, niecep
how de do ? I'd no idea you'd
make company for US the first night,
or we'd come more fixed up,
though twas drenul dusty riding.