The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-02-08

He-''I think I'm a fool!'' She-'Well, dear. you told me it was a wife's duty to agree with her husband. .'-Y Yonkers Statesman.
 Doctor (cheerfully)-"oh, I'll find out what ails you before long Patient
 (shuddering)-.say, doc, am so near the autopsy as that?"-Judge. Muggins-"I hear that Greening's Inew melodrama has no villain in it.
 Criticus-"It doesn't require any. The play itself is villainous. Chicago Daily News.
 He-"Miss Brightly is quite stunning tonight. She has no idea how beautiful
 she looks." She-"Oh, yes she hasl But its an exaggerated one. Philadelphia Ledger.
 Tt is better to rule by love than fear,' said the gentle philosopher. "Yes," an
 swered Senator Sorghum; ''it is peoples love of money that has made life easy for Washington Star.
 Mrs. Cupples You know. George
 thet my place is by your side. If you were dying, I should want to be with lyou." Mr. Cupples-"Oh, in that case, dear, it would be so easy to die!"-Bos- ton Transcript.
 Young Yoemanry Officer (airing his exploits in the late war)-"And among ether things, don't you know had a horse shot under me" Fair Ignoramus
 Poor thing! What was the matter with it?"-Punch. Goodfello (to mendicant)-'I told you on Saturday not to bother me for a week. Hungry Hank 'Yessir; but Saturday was last week, an this Mon day morning is the followin' week.n-- Stray Stories.
 Mrs Flatington Cover the telephone to the hair store)-'I want to arrange to [ have my hair dressed in time for the matinee this afternoon. Attendant
 Want it called for and delivered - Cleveland Leader. Coal vases?' said the hardware ner- chant. Yes, sir. Something nicely ljapanned?' No sir" said the custon.- CT. a man with fierce mustaches and a foreign accent. Haven't you some tuiiiS III lsuSSid iiOH. --SHicdSO lfl- bune
 Good morning. said the spider, add ing the familiar polite invitation to step into the Darlor. Step into your par- lor?" repeated the fly, with a Knowing wink. You mean your dining room
 don't you? No, thank you Philadel- pria Press.
 When I say goodbye to you this eve- ming, said MT. Slowman, do you think lit would be proper for men to place one reverent kiss upon your fair hand ?' Well" she replied, coquettishly, T would consider it decidedly out of place. Philadelphia Press. Ut seems an awfully high price to ask for it,'' said the customer. 'Is it all wool?"
 II should say not" replied the sales man handling the piece of goods icaressingly. Why, madam, look at it again. It's more than half high grade cotton!"-Chicago Tribune. The wild-eyed man leaned over the
 grocery store counter "Got any eggs? ?" he inquired. Yes" said the grocer. l Say" whispered the, wild-eyed man 1 tremulously, twill you sell me dozen | of 'em for thousand shares of Steel common ?"-Chicago Tribune.
 Mister, would youse give CT pore man l CT few pennies ter help him out uv trouble?" asked the unlaundered hobo. 1 Same old story I su'ppose' remarked the sarcastic pedestrian. Out of a
 job and got a wife and nine children to feed, eh?" Tain't nuttin' like dat,
 mister" replied the hard-luck victim. I I've got ter pay anudder nv de install
 ments on me airship ter-morrer, see?"- 1 Chicago News.
 l Hamfatte-When I asked Brown
 how he liked by Othello he said it was all that one could wish. Hamlette-Yes; he told me the same
 thing, only he expressed it indifferent fly.
 | Hamfatte-How's that?
 x.-us-.s-----------z----.u--