Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-06-02
DAILY SHORT STORY
The Drug Store Sitter.



ways coveted-the drug store sitter.
The drug store sitter makes himself
at home from the first hour. That's
what he's there for. He's always sure
| of a good fire in winter and a reason
ably cool place in summer. It's a
place where he can find others and
| be found himself, and there is no office
rent TO pay.
Then, too, a druggist is always re-
| ceiving almanacS and circulars worthy
of the closest perusal, and if there
| be q dearth of reading matter the first
woman who comes in after paregoric
is only too glad to give the gossip of
the neighborhOod
| In about two weeks after his first
call the sitter begins to call the drug
| gist Doc" and to feel at home be-
hind the counter and be ready with
advice, and from thence on he is as
much of fixture as the sponge basket
or the soda fountain. 1t is about
month before the general public reaps
any benefit. Then the sitter tears
himself away from the drug store
| long enough TO show up at the grocery
and impress the men sitting around
ON the cracker and sugar barrels with
his dignity and greatness. They are
ready to be impressed.
| \ certain reverence is always felt
| for a drug store and some of this
must naturally descend to the sitter.
He knows his gait. He looks wise and
waits to be asked about business.
There is pride in his tones as he re-
plies that business is booming, and he
lies like trooper about the daily cash
receipts to add to his own dignity. He
feels the respect in every mind, but
the climax comes when somebody asks
| him if he can suggest remedy for in
digestion, kidney complaint or insom-
mia. That's what he's been waiting
| for, and he assumes all the dignity and
gravity OF doctor as he glibly refers
| to calomel, chlorOfOrm, citral, lanolin,
hyoscine, salol and a dozen other things
he has jotted down and committed to
memory.
In another month the sitter has q
recognized standing in his neighbOr-
hood as a medical man. He is not
regular doctor, of course, but it is
argued that he couldn't sit around a
drug store for Il month without picking
up lots of pointers. He is consulted re-
garding felons, warts, wens. cold sores,
dandruff, sore heels, headaches, sore
| thrOnts and coughs. and II is declared
awfully good of him when he vOlun-
teers to run i'll and see u baby with
the collie or boy who has been swul-
lowing peach stones.
| He is given dozens of opportunities
every week TO talk about nuX vomica,
| hypOphOsphates, alkaloids, salicylates
and chlOrides. and it's all the same to
| his hearers whether he gets them right
or wrong end to. He may have been
| considered 4 scrub sort of Il man be-
fore becoming n sitter, but after n time
public opinion undergOeS change, and
men take pains TO brag of his smart
ness and boast that they always knew
he had 1t in him.
1 have always wished that 1 could
get u druggist out into the woods and
secure his candid opinion as to his sit
| ter, but have never been able to ac-
| complish the feat. No matter what
they think. however, he has become
an adjunct, and it would be dangerous
to try to upset things. His position is
we'll defined because he started in to
define 1t himself.
| If he is the right sort of brand, he
makes all customers feel glad that they
didn't 90 to the carpenter shop for
their prescriptions or to the blacksmith
shop for their patent medicines. He
is cheerfully willing TO advise, and his
personal experience with pitch plas-
ters, hot water bags and consumption
| cures Is both interesting and valua-
BILE to a man who wants to live out his
allotted years.
| For the first few weeks the sitter is
rather in awe of the doctors who drop
| In, but contact soon puts him on IA
miliar footing. He has no diploma and
can't practice; but, having got on to
| the contents OF most of the bottles. he
IL imbued with q fraternal feeling and
can be made q friend for life if called
doc" in reply. Three months after
his initiation he is ready to greet any
physician entering the store with:
| Hello. Doc. Good morning to you,
Got any interesting cases on hand to-
day or want any adviceF
The doctors usually treat the sitter
with something like contempt, but lac
gets his revenge on the druggist In
three months he thinks he owns the
| store; in three more he imagines he
owns the druggist as well. Then he
begins TO suggest and advise and be
aggressive, and it is hard job for the
customer TO tell who is the actual head.
Only once in my life did 1 ever
know a druggist to rebel against his
sitter. The sitter had worn out his
chair and accidentally broken his GUS
pidor and wanted them replaced. He
also wanted a curtain at 4 certain
| window and the show cases wrestled
around. To my great amazement, and
| probably TO his own as well, the drug
gist replied that il the sitter didn't like
things as they were he could move out
on the sidewalk. There We're five
minutes Of redhot conversation, and