Columbia courier. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1902-1905, 1904-04-15

may Deii-cdu you Keep IL seciel'
Elizabeth-Yes, easily. But l can't
help any one else keep one.-Ex.
as your wife club woman. Mike?"
"Narry the like O. thot, sor. She uses
flatiron, sor." detroit Free Press.
Say, pa, what's 'multum in par
voT" 'Fhose three dumplings you
have just eaten."-Chlcago Record
Herald.
Winkle-I have been over In En-
gland visiting the nobility. Van Ant
ler-What did you think Of our Amer
lean glrls?-Ex.
Worth the aylate-
May l have kiss before go? Miss
Weary-lf l give you one will you
really go?-Judge.
Henri-If l kissed you, would you
give it away to your father? Marie
OF course not! What would he want
with your kisses?-Le Vie Parisienne.
Departing Boarder-I'm sorry we
couldn't get along, but l hope you are
willing to let bygones be bygones.
Landlady--Does that include your
board bill, Mr.. Slopay?
The Smart Man: DE really smaht
man." said Uncle Eben, sis de one dat
has sense enough to know dat he's IL
able to be fooled de same as anybody
else. "-Washington Star.
Tom-Your uncle asked after your
health several times; displayed quite
tender solicitude: in fact--- Dick
Yes, his solicitude is tender, but un-
fortunately, not legal tender.-Ex.
"Now this won't do, you know"
"What won't?" This line: Her eyes
were like stars" "Why not?" why,
poets have been using that for ages.
Be up to date! Say Like radium.' -
Detroit Free Press.
The Parson-Dis am mos positively
de mos 'streemly juiciest CHECKING
cher put in nah mouth, Brer Jackson.
Brer Jackson-Yes, sab, pahson; dat
choking wuz raised an brung up on
watermillions, sah.-Leslie's Weekly.
Boy-My mother said there was n
pound Of sand In the last box Of
prunes you sent up. Grocer-Well.
you tell your mother that was the best
scrubbing sand. She is a good GUS
toner, and I threw that in.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Fond Parent Ito young hopefuD-
Unless you keep your face and hands
clean, your teeth brushed, and look
neat, the children of nice people won't
have anything to do with you-they
won't play with you. Young Hopeful
Il bet If had goat and wagon
they would.-Judge.
"Gladys," said Chumley to his man
nish sister, 1--WE done SO much for
you, you should write me testmo-
nial.' "A testimonial" Eyes. You
might say, Dear Brother-Once was
timid, delicate girl, but since using
your collars, shirts and ties l have be-
come a new woman"
Father-So you took dinner at Will
lie Stout's house to-day. l hope when
1t came to extra helpings you had
manners enough to say No" Tommy
oh, yes, sir, said mo" several
times. Father-You did, Ell? Tommy
Yes, sir; Mrs Stout kept askin' me
If had enough.-Philadelp Press.
Aged Husband-You are going to
ruin me with your extravaganza. You
don't need that cape any more than n
cat needs two tails. How often have
l told you never to buy anything be-
cause It is cheap? Young Wife with
an air Of one who has got the better
of the argument)-But 1t was not
cheap; 1t cost $50!
Mother-Elsie, your sister tells me
you took second helping of pudding
at Mrs. Browns to-day. Little Elsie
So did, mamma. "Do you think that
was right, Elsie?" Eyes. You know
you have often told me not to contra
dict any one and Mrs Brown said, I
know Elsie will have n second helping
to pudding and l couldn't contradict
her, could 2"
Bridget and Pat We're reading an ar
tice on "The Law of Compensation
"Just fancy" exclaimed Bridget. "Ac-
cordin' to this, whin mon loses wan
of his sinses another gifts more de-
veloped. For instance, a blond mon
gifts more sinse av hearln' an touch,
an-" "Shure, an it's quite
thrue," answered Pat. "Oive noticed
1t meself. Win mon has wan leg
shorter than the other, begorra the
others longer"
A country vicar gave dance to
the farmers and tenants Of his parish.
After supper he noticed certain
farmers wife looking rather discon-
ISOLATE. On being Intercepted, she re-
| nlial. MANol ci, l nnuur n.n.. 90, L..