New-York tribune., 1904-10-30
WRITING A PLAY.
Ancient Methods Seem Much in
VOgue TO-day.


In the days before the Garden Of Eden knew
Adam and Eve Margold Mooley the cow was
the greatest living actress Knowing this we'll
meaning stork, who was then the wisest of all
birds. undertook to write a play in which Miss
Mooley could exhibit her histrionic talent. He
conferred with MIR. Fox, of the firm Of "R. Fox,
Sons, Co. G. Relatives, Theatrical Managers"
who managed Miss Mooey.
Good" said Mr.. Fox. You have the right
idea-go ahead" Much pleased. the playwright
set to work, and in a few months brought back
the following simple drama:
Hi, diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle the
COW jumped the moon: the little dog
laughed to see the sport. and the dish ran away
with the spoon."
WELL" said the manager, after hearing, "its
not bad. the atmosphere is all right. and the
jumping scene Is great
What do you think of the character of the
little dog?" said the dramatist. Don't you think
his laughter will add good touch of comedy
to the piece?"
HIM yes" said the manager but that's not
what our audiences want; they pay their money
to see Miss Mooley. and you must make moro
of her part You needn't change the plot, just
give her all the good bits"
How II" said the dramatist
That's your business. and not mine," said
Mr.. Fox But it's easy enough-for instance.
why make SO much Of the cats part? Why not
say, The COW and the iddle'r'
"Ohi see what you mean," said the drama
tist "Iu try" He took his play away with
him. and in few weeks brought back the fol-
lowing version:
Hey. diddle diddle, the and the fiddle,
the jumped over the moon: the little
laughed to the sport. and the COW ran away
with the spoon"
That's better" said the manager, "but there
still two three places that need work"
Don't you think the audience will get a
little tired of the COW before the last scene?"
said the dramatist
my boy" said the manager, you're not
writing for stock company. Miss Mooley is a
star. and the people want to her all the
time. Now. you feature the moon too much; We
don't care anything about the MOON
But the COW must have something to jump
over, the scene doesn't mean anything"
said the dramatist
The manager leaned back In his easy chair
and Lit q fresh cigar.
That's all right from a literary standpoint"
said he. "but what they want isn't literature
It's action AS long they Miss Mooley
Jump. they don't what she jumps over.
Besides, moons are played out; the public are
tired Of 'em. Now. you must let her jump and
leave the rest to the stage manager
Anything else?' gasped the playwright.
Sure said the manager. You waste too
much time before Miss Mooley comes on. Now.
you must work her into the Hey, diddle diddle'
part Oh-and you say, The little laughed
to see the sport Now, the audience doesn't care
anything about sport; all it goes to the theatre
to see Is Miss Mooley."
But must have laugh" objected tha
dramattst.
Sure" said the manager "only 1t must be
at Miss Mooey."
"All right" said the dramatist-
Two months afterward he submitted the fol-
lowing:
Hey. cowdle cowdle, the and the cowdla
The COW jumped. the little laughed, and
the COW ran away with the spoon"
That's much more like it," said the man
ager. Read it to Miss Mooey tomorrow.
The dramatist was happy.
"Oh. one thing more" said the manager. BE
fore you read 1t to Miss Mooiey, change that
spoon scene The audience don't come to the
theatre to see spoonA What they want to see
is
But here the dramatist tainted and was car
ried home-(Wilsam c. de Mile, In Liz.