The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-12-16
People Talked About

OoR4O ohAC0 E4OOu1
Il is a pretty realistic joke on he candy.
peanut and fruit veEders OF Washington
when the commissioners decide and de-
clare that applicants for positions on the
ponce force must nave sound teeth. re-
marks a representative from one OF the
western states
Now. I am pretty fond of .hese little
things myself, and there's a small place
down here on tne avenue where ] trade.
The small merchant says the police are
ABOUT the most persistent pickers-up OF
candy. peanuts, apples. pears. and such
like. and that II they were an toothless
II would be a godsend TO the small DEAL
ers who are at their mercy.
This is not told you for joke but il
IS a joke. a serious one. for these ped
dlers of candy etc
From Indiana comes this good story:
A chronic Office-seekar had managed 10
get the nomination for congress and was
waging vigorous campaign, but with lit
tie chance Of success.
He was addressing an audience in a
town where he was well known but NOT
very greatly admired. In the course or
his speech he made an effort To explain
that he was net anxious for ne Office.
hut his friends had forced the ssonsination
on him
Il did not seek the office. my friends
he said. but for years the nomination has
L
icouldn get away from it, and
Here he was mfvt4u py a lank
countryman, who yelled out:
1t may be that The vIl>e nas been fol-
lowing ycu, but YOU are 81 'nlEg every
day-lt win never catch you. Mr.. -
Senator Blackburn tells good story
about man who grew tired of h0iong
MS conscience in allegiance"
This conscience stricken individual 9"
/ says tie senator, had been COW at
torney for railroad, his duties being 10
resist claims brought for cattle that We're
KINDS OF artfEl lodges and was successful
I IN saving the railroad company many
good dollars which would have been paid
out for genuine Jerseys.
| However, the company had d disagree
merit with the attorney. He was dis
missed ron the service. ThereupOn he
I became a very active and Jealous pro-
, moter Of like claims for the other side.
"One day. as he was addressing jury
/ in justice court. he became very severe,
not only upon the company but the law
yer representing il. Finally the railroads
attorney grew tired of the TRADE and
threw the fellows record TT him. This.
/ you kno". Is sometimes done by poll
Iicians as well as lawyers.
The fellow W1nceG md said he ac-
knoWledSed that for years he had resisted
Just such claims. But said he. for
these four years | held my conscience in
aoeyance. and now il has broken loose.
regret my acts, and propose to get every
dollar l can for my clients
J The .ate William weiehtman. the mil
Z llOnaire chemist of Philadelphia, took a
I deep interest in the army and navy. He
+ DID not particularly approve the seniority
/ rule of promotion, but he held that as
/ be adhered 10. and instances of its over
riding ansered him.
( On the occasion of an unusually young
soldiers installation into captaincy over
7 a dozen older men, Mr.. Weichtman said
i with a smile:
i This case reminds me of my friend.
! Lieutenant Blank Blank was in the navy
4 and he was getting 10 be a pretty old
man. There see:s.ed no chance OF his
promotion. though.
At lunch one DAY someone called at
You are veFy bald, Blank, the man
said. l never saw so bare head. What
Is the cause Of your badness
~ = due. eBlank answered TO so
I head.
Miss Christine Timing of Liverpool has
! come to America for the odd purpose OF
women.
! bright young reporter interviewed
Miss Tinlfng the other day. He hoped
( mat she would say ridiculous and alb
surd things about her mission here=thin2s
mat would work np into a Funny story
but she talked very sensibly She per-
Pceived at once that the reporter desired
! TO make game of her. and she called his
line of questioning sharp practice.
sharp practice. though, snt said. lis
a game at which two can play. ard they
who try it usually meet their match"
J Then, smiling. she told the reperter an
/ appropriate story;l
J "A farmer" she be gan went to an
I agricultural fair with $500 in his pocket,
As he lived at-asdistance. during the
! progress of the fair he was Obliged 10 put
l up az an inn On the evening Of his ar
rival ne deposited his 500 with the inn
Keep this for me, he said, until ask
But when some days later. he came 20
depart the innkeeper knew notAing about
mis- money.
There must be some mistake the
rogue said. You didn't leave any $500
And so, willy nilly the poor farmer had
! to go away empty handed Nothing he
could say or do would compel she landlord
10 return the money to him.
The farmer called on a LAWYER for re-
{" sharp practice. said the lawyer. after
he Tad heard the mans story. Well.
sharp practice must be met N1th sharp
practice. III tell you what want you 10
do 90
The lawyer thought moment. Then
he went on; The biggest man in your
to this inkeeper. and in Shocks presenee
depesi. for safeAeeping with the man an
other 500. Then report to NE.
The rarmer departed. the next day he
returned.
q We'll, / did it, ne said. 'Fhe inn
keeper seemed surprised. but he look the
money ] have Snooks 20 witness that
he took it,
Very good. said the lawyer. Now
! tomorrow go to the innkeeper alone and
| ask him 70 give you your money back.
All right said the farmer I doubt
II I shall get it. though.
TrrfrI cufA 4 h Ian
"of went the farmer agaln.
BY Jove, he said on mis- return, I
did get it,
! Good. said the lawyer You have
everything Ia your own hands. You have
gotten back your first 500. Now go get
Shocks take him With you TO the inn, and
! in his presence demand of the lDOkeepeT
the $50 Shocks saw you place for safe
kceping in his hands
l. The man succeeied. and thus. with
Lsharn nractice." Misc Willing enaod.