The San Francisco call., 1904-04-16

ulously at Clerk Gray when that func-
tionary announced it as the charge
against Robert Burns and Frank Stack.
But the prosecuting testimony proved
conclusively that at an early hour yes
terday morning the defendants, who
are men of the sea, did feloniously
carry away two defunct bleaters from
the meat market of Mr.. Shenson, 95512
Folsom street, and deposit the same
in an adjacent hallway, whence they
were emerging when caught by Wig
liant patrolman. In defense the two
mariners pleaded that they were in
toxicated and did not know what they
had done while in that condition until
they recovered their senses and found
themselves In prison. The policeman
took them in.
'I can appreciate the hereditary in
stinct that prompted you, Robert
Burns, to lift the mutton said his
Honor, who is voracious reader Of
Crockett and Stevenson. "for in your
veins courses the blood that in the
lang syne ran red IN the clans Of
Burns, famed for it's raids upon the
f1eeced fiocks that ranged the border
hills. The illustrious poet whose name
you bear has sung Of those brave ex-
ploits. May / ask if you are a direct
descendant of that immortal bard?'
II dinna KEN replied Defendant
Burns, who looked as sheepish as the
carcasses he had purloined.
"Aweel, aweel." sighed the court, Il
hardly ken what tae dae wuth We an
Meesther Stark till 1 find oot some
thin mair aboot the pair o. ye, sac
I'll cen continny the case till the NOR
rows morn"
w ]. Cameron, of shrewd eye and
military mien. recounted some of his
exploits as a volunteer in the Boer
army during the late unpleasantness
in the Transvaal, and Judge Cabaniss
listened attentively to the recital, which
was incidental to Mr.. Cameron's de-
fense on charges of carrying concealed
weapons and threatening to slay.
In three months 1 killed many hun
dred bloody Saxons," he stated with
due modesty
Anu lAldN was GUNS SOAiiCs NOAAA
mented the court, admiringly.
Well" said Mr.. Cameron, Il didn't
go to South Africa for fun
Two policemen testified that one
evening not long ago they were called
upon by neighbors of Mr.. Cameron,
who resides way out Point Lobos ave
nue., with a request that he be re-
strained from shattering the peace Of
the neighbcrhood. When they ap-
preached the dwelling of the offender,
which is on the side of a steep hill.
he ascertained they had no warrant,
and then bade them begone and fired
three shots. They retired to devise
legal ways and means of storming the
domiciliary fortress, but when they at
last scaled the heights the defender of
the garrison had fed. He came down
town the next morning and surren-
dered himself into custody, and in court
yesterday he denied having aimed at
the invaders and proved that when the
shots were fired they were at least
seventy-five yards from his house. So
that charge was dismissed.
Then an inn-keeper named NJ Mars
ton took the stand apd complained that
on a separate occasion the same de-
fendant had presented a pistol at his
body and threatened to shoot him be-
cause he (the witness) had expostu-
lated against the rough manner in
which the defendant rode a horse at
him. To this charge Mr.. Cameron
pleaded that he had simply "bluffed''
Mr.. Marston by pulling from his pock-
ct a monkey-wrench in a menacing
way, because he thought Mr.. Marston
intended to assault him.
Mr.. Marston smiled ironically at this
/ defense. and said to the defendant,
| Cameron, you are a good man with a
burned bad temper, and you know you
are"
And you," retorted Mr.. Cameron,
would be a better man if you didn't
drink so much of your stock-in- trade. "
| Mr.. Marston's quickly framed retort
was never uttered. for the Judge alb
ruptly dismissed that case, also.
Ellen Kelly, an aged vagrant, def
antly informed Judge Fritz that she
would not go to the almshouse, as
she had money enough to purchase for
herself all the comforts of a sanitar-
ium, but she preferred keeping the
cash to spending it for luxuries.
How would three months in the
County Jail suit your idea of econ
omy?" was the courts considerate
query.
"Oh, I guess I could get along there
all right" was Mary's answer.
She is there.
Edward Seller. u. d." he was reg
istered on the docket, and he looked
the part as he stood before Judge Mo-
gan and heard himself accused of vag-
rancy by policeman who found him
intoxicated and helpless at Clay and
Kearny streets. His vandyke beard
was a black gray effect. and his coat
was the conventional somber frock of
the medicine man.
Whats your defense, doctor?" in
Quired the Judge.
"Ten days ago." began the defend
ant, in the slow, measured tone that
suggests pulse-counting II was struck
upon the head by an unseen robber at
Fourth and Brannan streets, and since