The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-04-17
Judge Twinkle The Far East Aggravation;
PHILOSOPHERS 'sas Russo-Japanese War
By GEORGE RANDoLPH CHESTER

fence he turned black as ink, went in for
his tools and closed up the gap in the
fence on Jim Foxs side of her lot. Jim
used that gap to strike across to his own
back lot and he had a path a foot wide
worn through Mary AIMS kitchen garden.
Naturally all diplomatic relations be-
tween the two men were broken from then
on, and as soon as GrasSville found out how
the land lay they issued war bulletins about
every hour OF the day. Contrary to custom
and precedent the disputed territory was
benefited by the philanthropic and protec-
tive warfare. Jim built her new wood
shed and Sam repainted the smokehouse
Jim shingled over the leaks in her summer
kitchen and Sam built fancy boxes around
her trees. Jim put new bricks on her
chimney and Sam built her fine board
sidewalk. Jim moved down the weeds and
Sam trimmed her trees. From being the
most tumble-down place in Grassville Mary
AIMS property came to be the best cared
for.
Mary Ann was in her glory. She grew
younger and more kittenish every day. she
bought gay dresses and learned TO play Jim
and Sam against each other like girl of
seventeen. The two men were devoting
themselves to deeds of charity now in earn
est. all for the love of humanity in general,
orphans in particular, and Mary Ann s
three thousand dollars especially. but
they never got any further than
state of armed neutrality until one
day in the following spring, when they
both came out at the same moment to spade
up Mary AIMS garden.
They only exchanged about dozen
philanthropy and trespassing. and then the
circus broke loose. In place or spadlng up
the soil they tore IL up with their boots,
and il took four men to separate them.
lin had Sans finger in his mouth and
Sam had his teeth sunk in Jim's ear. The
war was on, the first bloody battle mad
been fought and Grassville was in
spasm OF delight that no doctor could cure.
AS soon the two widowers were well
enough they fought again in the interests
of the orphan child with all the money, and
l 100 20. fAlglln
that her garden was being neglected
The climax came with the fourth bat
tie. which was fought along the onion bed.
The disputed territory was completely dis
gusted and put on her white dimity dress
with the violet ribbons, then hurried down
to Zeke Hills blacksmith shop, where she
told her troubles to the accompaniment OF
tears though she was careful not to muss
I'll go right up there and lick the both
of them" said Zeke, squaring OH his big
81 knowed you was a friend o. mine.
Zeke,' wept Mary Ann. carefully hopping
up a tear so as not to make her eyes red,
but ii wouldn't do. Folks would be boun'
to talk. onless'n you was my brother or
something It's terrible when lone girl
has got three thousan' dollars an no IA
Their or brother-or-or huSban to look out
for her!'
| for few moments.
Air YOU a lookin' for a husban', Mary
Sakes MOI declared Mary Ann. I'm
| not sayin, though, that good strong
heavy-set man, not too old nor yet toe
| pesky young, wouldn't come in mighty
| handy sometimes, like jest now
'Zeke hauled horseshoe out of the forge
| and pounded away at IL silently Tor few
| minutes.
"'How would do. Mary Amp he ven
| tured at last.
1--we had you picked out for years.!
| Mary Ann coyly confessed.
..Zeke pulled off his leather apron AND
| slammed il on the ground.
Jest you foler on up, said he. I'm In
| a hurry
1.-The thrashing Zeke Hill gave those two
men is a classic in GrasSvile to this day
| and the philanthropy of widowers to single
women of property is much of joke In
| that section as the protection of weak
| nations by stronger ones is in Washington
| just now. And what has all this to do Will
] the far East war? Nothing much. Didn't
1 tell you that I'm trying my best tC
| forget it?
| Still, there is a parallel. There are
| plenty of Zeke Hills for Mary Ann Korea
| but that's the trouble. There too
many of them. England. Germany. France
/ and even your sly Uncle Samuel are stand
/ ing around feeling their biceps. but they
| are all afraid to pitch in, all of which
| brings me back to my text-'Poor little
| KOreap"