davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20
Sure Cure.

Stubb-Some great man has told us that sea voyage is a sure cure for ear troubles
 Penn-Quite true All of us tried 1t around here.
 All of you went to sea?"
 No. We took up a subscription and sent the young man who practices on cornet to sea"-Chicago Daily News
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20
K. c. S. Almanac for 1904.

The Kansas City Southern Railway Company's Annual Almanac Is now ready for distribution. It contains the usual monthly calendars. many useful household hints and information concerning the Country in Missouri. Arkansas. The Indian Territory, Texas and Louisiana. Write fer copy to. $. G Warner. Gen. Pass
 < Tkt. Agt. k. C.-S. Ky, Kansas City
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20

\ northern New York man died recent ly and his sole clam to distinction lay in the fact that he once held the bride of the horse of Napoleon's brother. This evidently gave him d slight hold on the car ot imperial tame.-Gleyeland Plaln Dealer
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20
Dangerous Compound

Smokeless powder is very different from the old-fashioned black or the later brown cocoa powder. These lat ter are quick to explode becoming transformed into gas almost instan- taneously, but the nitrocelulose com pound now used in our navy guns burns much more slowly. even when confined. When not subjected to con finement it may be said hardly to ex- plode at all. Owing 10 this deliberate decomposition of the powder in the unclosed gun and in the handling room below the turret, there was little or no rend!ng effect of the explosive upon the structure of the Missouri. The loss of life was due almost wholly to the intense heat-N Y. Times.
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20

Jersey applejack IS sad to prevent hydrophob!a and cause snakes The eeonomic and moral status Of the fu.d IS thus open to debate \. Y World.
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20

The mikado of Japan has nine wives. His readiness for battle is now readily understood.
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20

"lts so good to ride a bicycle" ex- claimed Myrtis. as she and Willard turned into the park on wheels he had rented.
 Delightful" he returned. And more so, when you ride with me" he commented mentally
 He scanned the road ahead full of pleasure vehicles of all kinds. Yes there they were Those majestic grays. seemingly an embodiment of family pride, could not be mistaken any where
 Lets raee," he cried. "Ill follow this path. It joins the road a quarter of a mile further on. I'll beat you there?' he added. gayly She nodded acquieseenee
 Willard had a wait of some minutes before him when he reached the tune tion of the roads. Myrtis finally ar rived, and greeted him with puzzled look
 T met Miss Margaret driving" she said. 'I don't understand She seemed surprised and shocked at first Made me stop. and asked me all sorts of questions. l thought she knew I learned to ride at college in the physi- cal culture course She made me ride up and down little-sort of parade to see how looked. Somehow, I for got Go tell her that you were with me And-it was funny, too-as we sep arated she said as though if were to herself: Without boomers, It's not so outrageousi'
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20

smooth the rufied feathers more be- fore he left the house. He'd have to do it, be thought It was the only way out of it. Aunt Mar garet was rich; her nephew was poor. He could afford to get bicycle, but he couldn't afford to lose Aunt Margaret's good will. He was not mercenary, for he had great fondness for the old lady, of the sort that delights in teas l ing.
 His reflections as he passed down the street were interrupted by a gay voice that said:
 "Millard."
 Myrtsi l was just thin6ing of you" There was twinkle in his eye. In fact, it was there most of the time.
 You must be careful with your compliments saw you frowning- yet you were thinking of me"
 The sweetest pleasures are se- rious," he rejoined, and both laughed. Say, will you go with me this after noon?"
 I'm not in the habit of breaking en- agreements, am I?"
 "A guilty conscience" he laughed. "I didn't accuse you. Five o'clock. then? It's three now" He looked at his watch.
 But don't tell Aunt Margaret" he cautioned.
 Why I'm going there now"
 We've just had little tilt, and" he r-"ds a gesture that might have meant nothing, or t0sfyling'
The Forrest City times., 1904-05-20

In good weather Miss Robkin usually drove in the park at five. On this particular evening the whispering heart pulse somewhat more rapidly, Myrtis, her Myrtis, and Willard were just suited to each other. and, by any means she could invent, these two must be mated. -. ,zs-"~
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
His Consolation.

Senator Charles L. Guy tells story
which has not yet been appropriated
by the spellbinders who reel off
original" anecdotes by the mile. Mr..
Guy was with party of politicians
at the Hoffman house, and the talk
touched upon the topic of consolation
in politics. At last a mild-mannered
little man, with a face like pump
kin and a voice between a whisper
and a wheeze, remarked:
Speaking of consolation, gentle
men, reminds me of personal expert
ence. I have a young baby at home,
and last night l was walking the
floor with 1t. l nearly dropped from
fatigue. Finally I told my wife that
perhaps there might be some men who
suffered more than did, yet couldn't
believe it, for had carried that crying
child nearly all night. She locked up
and calmly retorted:
"'Yes, dear; but you have the con-
ISOLATION of knowing that we're not
living in the Arctic regions, where the
nights are six months long!"--New
York Times.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
Selecting a Physician.

More than 1000 years ago Rhazes
an Arabian physician, gave this advice
to his patients with reference to the
selection of physician: Study care
fully the antecedents Of the man tc
whose care you propose to confide all
you have most dear in the world
that is, your life and the lives of your
wife and children. If the man is dis
sipated, is given to frivolous pleas.
ures, cultivates with too much zeal
the arts foreign to his profession, still
more so IL he be addicted to wine and
debauchery, refrain from committing
into such hands lives SO precious"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
Good Work Done by Women.

In striking contrast to the seclud.
ed life that the women of India lead
stand out the careers of the six Sora-
hi sisters. Belonging to high caste
family, they nevertheless broke away
from the traditions Of their family,
went to England to be educated and
now each one of the sisters stands out
prominently in some line of work.
One Is q musician, another Is an art
LIST, and q third has gone back to her
native country as a Christian mission
airy. The most distinguished of them
all, perhaps, is Miss Sorabji, the law
yer She has been working for years
with her brains and her pen to right
the wrongs that are inflicted upon her
"shut-in" countrywomen by their "trus-
tees" who so often defraud them OF
their wealth. A great step toward the
success of her efforts has been accom-
plished recently, for she has been APP
pointed by the Bengal government a.
legal adviser to Purdah women in the
administration of her estates.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
Leisure for Children,

Do not try to keep children contin-
ually occupied. Occasionally the little
ones will come to you for ideas, but
as a rule they will make their own
amusements. Children require plenty
of change and rest and If left alone
when tired Of one thing they will eth.
err drop to sleep or find some new oc.
cupation. Parents often make the
mistake of occupying all the child's
time, but this is not only wearying
for the little one, but it is distinctly
unfair child cannot be expected to
fill up every moment as grown per.
son would do. Let the children romp
and play as long as possible and when
it is necessary for them to begin study
or even to take up certain duties, still
recognize the playtime, and see that
the boy or girl has as much recrea.
ton as possible. They will work ever
so much better if the work time be
interspersed with play.-Exchange
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12

= A young girl running down the gar
den path, her hair flying in the breeze,
stumbled head first into the arms OF a
gentleman who was just entering the
gate.
ooh, Guy, is it really your" she
gasped. What do you think? Uncle
Cyrus has vowed that he is going to
kill himself at II o'clock tomorrow"
Indeed" unused young Mr.. Chez
vers, not at all excited. "And what
does he want to kill himself for?"
why, he says he is a miserable
mana burden to every one, and that
life has no joys for him, and that he
is weary of this world"
"And so he would like to try the
next?" said Guy. What an unreason-
able man he must be! l dislike any
scandal or excitement. A coroner's
jury would cause both; therefore we
must balk his little game"
"But how?" asked Lizzie, curiously.
"a prudent general" said Guy,
haughtily, never confides his plans to
his army, particularly when the army
u of feminine gender; so excuse me,
NUNS the word. But rest assured,
my dearest Elizabeth, that unless your
worthy uncle shuffes off this mortal
coil in surreptitious manner before
II o'clock tomorrow he will not do
it afterward-of course / mean ille-
gally. Farewell till tomorrow"
The next morning Mr.. Maddox made
his appearance, very saturnine and
gloomy, and ate his breakfast with a
mournful air that was terribly impress
sive. Having finished, he then took
leave of his niece in feeling man.
ner.
81 am about to leave you," said he,
mournfully. 81 am about to end this
life Of misery. l hope that you may
be happy"
ooh, don't go!" said Lizzie, tear
fully clinging to him and looking into
his face pleadingly.
Its useless" said Mr.. Maddox
firmly. "My mind is fixed, and moth
ing you can do can persuade me to
relinquish my purpose. But you, my
dear child, shall not be unprovided
for. l intend to make my will in the
few hours that are left me, and you
will not be forgotten. Goodbye, my
dear child, FAREWELL"
And then, after embracing his niece
fervently, he rushed from the room
and securely locked himseslf in his
own room, and began to prepare him
self for his last journey.
Mine o'clock" he said to himself,
looking at his watch. Three hours
yet! How slow the time passes, to be
sure! Now, what shall l do until r.,
for / am determined not to die until
noon"
A knock at the door.
go away" cried Mr.. Maddox, an
grily; "you can't come I'M"
81 am very sorry to disagree with
.you," said a voice outside, but l can
Come in"
Mr.. Maddox rose and unlocked the
door savagely, and Guy Cheevers
stalked into the room, carrying an OBJ
long box under his arm.
He placed the box on the table and
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
He Didn't Know Il All.

He understood philosophy. theosophy and
OF poets he had every one, from Homer
down, by heart;
He understood the languages, from
Chocktaw to Chinese;
He understood the chemists art Of turn
ing chalk to cheese;
He understood his business and the ways
of making money
He understood the meaning of joke
when 1t was funny;
In fact, until he put the wedding ring
upon her hand
He thought that there was nothing much
he did not understand.
But now he knows-alas. alack!-that sur
mise was absurd.
He's told of twenty things a day Of
which he never heard;
OF things he never dreamed could be in
this peculiar land;
OF things he never understood and ne'er
will understand.
He neer had understood before a razor's
many uses
For pointing pencils, cutting cards and
other strange abuses.
He did not understand-indeed, this man
had never known
The purpose of a ppe-rack when you
turn 1t upside down.
And when 1t came to shopping, such a
stupid soul was he,
He did not even understand that true
Is paying double price for things to get
trading stamp,
For twenty pounds of which you get a
thirty-nine cent lamp.
He did not understand the wondrcus
things the baby said,
Nor why 1t made him happy to be dang
led on his knee.
He did not understand But there! The
man was only human!
And what men ever dreamed of under
standing any woman?
New York Press.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
HAD A JOB FOR HIM.
Employment That Fitted In With
Automobile Costume.

Automople costume.
Harlan w. Whipple, president of the
American Automobile association, tells
this story at the expense OF an en-
thusiastic ''autoist" who last fall made
a tour of the White mountains:
"The tourist, who was accompanied
by his wife and two other women,
says President Whipple, was clad in
a long brown buster considerably the
worse for being spotted with axle
grease and having been torn in several
places. He wore the regulation cog.
giles and visored cap. One day he
met a typical New England farmer
driving to the village behind a slow.
moving steed. Thinking he would
have some fun with the rustic, he
pulled up alongside of his wagon and
said:
"'Say, friend, do you suppose
could get work anywhere in these
parts to tide me over the winter?'
LICKING sharply at him and his out
fit for moment, the native replied:
"'There amt much dewin' round
here when the snow flies, but if ye'd
a got here month ago l cud hev
gin we job as scarecrow in my corn.
field, and | reckon ye'd hev made a
pesky good un, tew, in that ere git
up O. yourn.' New York Times.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
NOT A MATTER OF HABIT.
One Case Of Suicide Generally suffi-
Client for All Time.

S'>He W. M
There recently visited Washington
an Englishman, who at home is more
or less known for his newspaper
leaders" on matters sociological. The
Briton was introduced to Clifford
Pinchot, who is at the head of the d.
vision of forestry Of the Department of
Agriculture.
In conversation with Mr.. Pinchot,
the foreigner soon initiated discus
sion of his favorite topic, and, in con-
nection with some statistics of suicide
in this country, observed to Mr.. Pin
chot that he rather fancied that in
proportion to the population of the two
countries that there were more cases
of self-destruction here than in the
United Kingdom.
81 am inclined to think" oracularly
remarked the Britisher, that one Of
the prime causes that make for sui
eide in the United States is the great
nervous strain under which you race
through everything. l should say, you
know, that in the case Of the English
man, he doesn't commit suicide so
often, you know!"
"And yet" said Mr.. Pinchot, musing'
ly, 81 never heard of an American kill
ing himself more than once, have
?"-New York Times.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
The Soft Answer.

At a certain inn on the fashionable
eastern shore of Massachusetts, the
proprietor is noted for his easy-goins
disposition and his lisp. 1t happened
that the coffee was never just right,
and the women guests, after piazza
talk, finally went to the proprietor and
complained. He promised to have the
matter looked into at once. A week
passed with no noticeable improve
ment, so complaint was again made.
Said one of the women: Really, Mr..
S, the coffee was worse than ever
this morning."
EYES," chimed in another, even
worse than in Nice. where they boil
chicory and call 1t coffee!"
And I've just had to take chocolate
which l detest!" added the third
matron.
Finally the proprietor turned, with
his affable smile and lisp, and re-
marked:
"was It that bad, WEAKLY? Well.
am glad took tea"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12

eningly, 'I'm going. But I'll leave this
box here, and before you get rid of
yourself, just make a memorandum of
what you will use and leave 1t on the
table, because, you know. there will
probably be nothing left of you to
draw conclusions from, and So"
Here any other further speech was
cut short by Mr.. Maddox selling his
visitor and hustling him out into the
passage.
"Well?" said Lizzie, anxiously.
81 think it's all right" said Guy,
grinning. Get the luncheon ready.
Your uncle will be down."
And sure enough, so he was; and
though he spoke not, he ate most vo.
raciously of everything on the table.
Lizzie" said he, suddenly, after an
hours pause, "did you ever see an
internal old fool and an idiot?"
Never, that know Of" said Liz
zie. why do you ask?"
Because just look at me and you'll
see one" said Mr.. Maddox. grimly
and he stalked upstairs.
Up to the present writing Cyrus
Maddox is still alive, enjoying re
markably good health, and he seems
to be on friendly terms with Mr.. Chez
vers and his wife, Lizzie.-Chadwick
Jones in Chicago Journal.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12

"Good heavens!" exclaimed Mr..
Maddox fearfulIy. "What terrible
ideal"
the table," said Guy, earnestly, ito
tell where it is. 1t will save trouble,
perhaps"
"Get Quit" cried Mr.. Maddox, an.
grily.
"Ah, I see!" said Mr.. Cheevers,
coolly; Gin hurry to begin. Well, |
won't detain you; but have little
suggestion to Offer"
"Well?" said Mr.. Maddox, impa.
tiently.
ut is this" said Guy. miss Silver
informs me that you have made sew
eral previous efforts to cut short your
troubles and your breath, and always
unsuccessfully. Now, It seems to me
you don't go the right way about 1t.
This box"-and here he opened the
box before alluded to-"contains sew.
eral little plans that I think might
please you. Here's one"-and he
showed little steel instrument.
whats that?" asked Mr.. Maddox,
curiously.
This" said Guy, "is an article that
you can place round your neck like a
collar, then, by striking your hand on
the left side of your neck, a sharp
spike is driven right into your jugular
VEIN"
But that would kill mel" said Mr..
Maddox, staring.
well, isn't that what you want?"
demanded Guy, sternly. Now, here's
another" he went on. Here's a
wheel, you observe; you place this
band around your neck, pass it round
turns-then let go. The recoil will
twist your head almost off your shout.
ders-kill you to certainty"
Mr.. Maddox stared at him with un.
feigned horror.
''Then," went on Guy, coolly, here's
little package, torpedo. 1t contains
nitro-glycerin. You place it in your
mouth, snap your teeth on it, and off
goes your head, smashed into a mil.
lion of atoms"
Good heavens!" exclaimed Mr..
Maddox. fearfully. What terrible
ideal"
mot at ALL" said Guy, soothingly.
Beautiful invention-I quite pride
myself on it-scientific suicide, you
see! Now, il you should use all three
of these inventions at once-why, I'd
thank YOU"
what" cried Mr. Maddox, fiercely,
"do you think I'm crazy? Do you
think I'm going to use any of your
internal inventions? Leave this room.
you cold-blooded villain, before i
throw you out of the window"
"But | have great many more TO
show YOU" demonstrated Guy, land
you see want you to try as many as
possible. Well, WELL" he added, as
Mr.. Maddox grasped the poker threat.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
Again the Canny Scot.

The following story Of the canny
Scot is attributed to Andrew Car
negie:
Sandy entered a smoking car and
asked each of his immediate neigh
bors for a match. All happened to be
without them, however, and a look OF
disappointment came over the Scotch
mans face as he remarked resigned
ly:
"Aweel, I'll cen haze to use one o
my New York Times.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12

to ask you few questions. Have you
provided for your niece's welfare?"
whats that to your"
Considerable. l am about to marry
Miss Silver; so her interests are nat
urally mine"
"Then she is provided for-amply."
Thank you for your information.
Glad to hear it. And now, excuse the
apparent impertinence Of the ques'
ton, but where is your will?"
Here" replied Mr.. Maddox, laying
his hand on it.
Suppose you give it to me to take
care Off"
"Give it to you! Why, pray?"
at might become misplaced" ex.
planned Guy.
I'll keep it myself" said Mr.. Mad
dox, in rough tone.
"Then just leave memorandum on
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
THE MISSOURI PACIFIC RAILWAY
COMPANY.
st. Louis, Iron Mountain and Southern
Railway Collaboration Rates to
the West and Southwest.

st. Louis, Iron Mountain and Southern
Railway Collaboration Rates to
the West and Southwest.
Homeseeker's EXcursions-to certain
points in the West and Southwest. On
sale first and third Tuesdays of Oc-
tober, November and December, with
final return limit Of twenty-one days.
One-way cOlonist rates-to Cali
fornia, Washington, Oregon, New
Mexico and Arizona.
Daily through Pullman Standard
Sleepers. ST. Louis to California, via
The Iron Mountain Route CThe True
Southern Route. also through Tourist
Sleeping Cars to California every
Tuesday and Saturday via Iron Noun
tain Route, st. Louis to Los Angeles,
California, via TeXarkana and Ell
Paso.
Daily through Pullman Standard
Sleepers, st. Louis to California, via
Missouri Pacific Railway. The Mis-
souri, Pacific Railway also runs
through Tourist Sleeping Cars from
st. Louis to California with service
strictly up-to-date.
For rates and information address
III D. Armstrong, d. z. Agt., Missouri
Pacific Railway, SO Griswold ST., De-
troit, Mich, or II. G. Townsend, Gen
eral Pass and Ticket Agent, st. Louis,
Mo
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
Study the Matter.

Those who 60 away for the sum-
mer would do well if during the win
ter they Informed themselves thor
oughly about resorts and routes to
them Some Of the very best litera-
ture Of this kind is issued by the Maine
Central Railway, and gives the most
complete information as Ito hotels,
rates, lake and seaside resorts In the
most picturesque and healthful loca-
tions in the world. Address Col. F. f.
Boothby, General Passenger Agent,
Portland, Ne.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
A Bad Word.

did you send Mr. Nobley the sam
pies he asked for?" inquired the tailor
eyes," replied the clerk, I'm just
finishing our letter to him. Which
shall | say, Trusting to have your or
der. I am or we are"
what! Cut out that trusting and
make it hoping Exchange.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
New Train Service, Chicago to
st. Louis.

The Chicago & Eastern Illinois rail-
road now runs night and day trains
to the Exposition City, which repre-
sent the highest type of railroad con-
struction. When you go to the Worlds
Fair be sure your ticket Is made good
over this line, and You will enjoy
every mile of the short trip.
Your local ticket agent will gladly
make your ticket good this way II you
request It.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12

orders which kept me
in the house for days
at a time, unable TO
do anything. What |
suffered can hardly
be told. Complica-
tons set in, the par
ticulars of which I
will be pleased to
give in a personal in
terview to any one
who requires infor-
nation. This / can
conscientiously say:
Doan's Kidney Pills
caused a general i'm
provement in my
health. They brought
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
Humility.

The loaded bee the lowest flies,
The richest pearl the deepest lies;
The stalk the most replenished.
Doth bow the most its modest head:
And thus humility we find
The mark of every master mind;
The highest-gifted lowliest bends,
And merit meekest condescends,
And shuns the fame that fools adore
The puff that bids feather soar.
Anonymous.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-11-12
Harsh EMPLOYER Is Fined.

A Whitechapel seamstress stated in
a London court that on Friday, July
1, she started work at in the morn
ing and worked until Saturday
morning. She was dismissed because
she refused to work after midnight
the following Friday. Two other girls
who worked the same hours were also
dismissed for a similar reason. The
employer was fined $106.50.