davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
A Novel conundrum.

why is a woman like an umbrella?"
agked the conundrum propounder.
Because" replied the prosaic individ-
ual' she always has to be shut up
when"
mo. Guess again"
Because she stands in the hall and"
No. It's nothing about standing in
the hall, or anywhere else"
"A woman is like an umbrella because
no one ever gets the right one. Why is"
mo. That isn't the answer"
ITS better one than you've got"
Don't you think l know whether 1t is
or not? Whose conundrum is this, yours
or mine?"
well she is like an umbrella because
1t isn't because she fades with age, is it?"
self"
Il am. 1t is because you have to put
her up when it's cloudy and threatening
no that can't be 1t. Because she's a
is" "'
You're not within miles of it."
Because you can't find a pocket in
either. Why is"
No; have another shot"
II won't A woman isn't like an UNI
brella. There's not the slightest resem-
blance. You let me alone"
Il knew you couldn't guess It's be-
cause she's accustomed to reign"
Then nothing but the hurried DEPART
ure OF the conundrum propounder prevent
ed breach OF the peace.-[Galveston
News.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25

sence of Rev. C. w. Jackson who preach
ed in Cambridge, Mass.
John w. Flint bought tract of 16 acres
of the meadow in the Basin, formerly
owned by the estate Of II. w. Sabin, at
auction last Thursday paying $2110 there
for.
Daniel Edwards returned Monday from
his home in Granville, N. Y, after an
illness of six weeks with typhoid fever,
and resumed his position as teller for the
Bellows Falls Trust company.
About one full carload of passengers,
approximately rs, went to Brattleboro
by special train Monday evening to at
tend the odd Fellows district meeting
A large number came from Saxtons River
by electrics.
About Go members of the high school
and ninth grade took advantage of the
excursion last Friday to Montpelier, and
although belated in getting there in the
morning felt they had a very successful
trip A number of citizens also took the
opportunity to visit the legislature.
Mr. and Mrs. Fred H. Babbitt are
spending Thanksgiving with their daugh-
ter, Miss Madeline, who is in school in
Washington, ID. c. George II. Rabbit
and family of Rowland, Me-, were
THANKSGIVING guests of the family of c..
e. Robertson.
Inc grand 'gafaua' Denent tOr wheel
ers band is in progress this week and is
an unqualified success. The production
has been under the direction of 60 pat
ronesses, among the most prominent la
dies of the village and town. Each even
ing since Tuesday the entertainment has
given good sized audiences great pleas
ure. The series ends with this even
ings presentation.
few days ago a prominent New
Won lou l.,
the evening previous to an important APP
pointment in New York, the following
day He arranged for a special train
from here to Springeld in the early part
of the night to catch a New York train
there, and drove here from Chester with
team. The contract price for the train
of a locomotive and passenger car to
Springfield, was s252-S3 per mile.
This is the usual price for similar spec
ial trains all over New England.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25

Ten lttle microbes on n trolley line:
One got thousand volts, and then there
were nine.
Nine little microbes feeding on a plate;
one took some breakfast food, and then
there were eight.
Eight little microbes never heard OF
heaven;
One got on Dowie's tongue, and then there
were seven.
Seven little microbes on some garden
One took paris green. and then there were
six.
Six little microbes sitting on a hive;
One argued with a bee, and then there
were five.
Five little microbes on the kitchen floor;
One tasted bugine, and then there were
four.
Four little microbes on a barroom spree;
One got In the fusel oil, and then there
were three.
Three little microbes on an auto flew;
one smelled the gasolene, and then there
were two,
Two little microbes looking for some fun;
One was ticlkled quite to death, and then
there was one.
One little microbe on a baby's Jaw;
Mamma kissed where microbe was, and
made one hundred more.
-lYonkers Statesmen.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
Births.

In West Brattleboro Nov. 16, son,
Lester Irving. to Mr. and Mrs. Lewis A.
Howard. grandson to A. l.. Blair.
In Brookline. Nov. IA. a son, Ivern
Morse, TO Mr.. and Mrs. George c. Ware.
grandson to Mr. and Mrs. George Il.
Ware of Brookline and Mr.. and Mrs. Luke
Morse of Williamsville.
In Jacksonville. Nov. II, a daughter TO
Mr.. and Mrs. Alex L. Dairy.
In South Londonderry, Nov. 10. son
to Mr.. and Mrs. George Hall.
In West Wardsboro. Nov. 5. son TO
Mr. and Mrs. Irving Frost. grandson 10
Mr. and Mrs. l. B. Putnam of Wardsboro
Centre.
In Hinsdale, n. H., Nov. II, a son to
Mr.. and Mrs. Edward Sweet.
In Hinsdale n. H.. Nov. is. a daughter
to Mr.. and Mrs. Archille Major.
In New York city, Nov. 10, a son TO
George A. and Annie Horton Dinsmore.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
Don't ask to be trusted but ask
method all Of
COODNOW, PEARSON g. HUNT.

Thayer, widow of Deacon Chalmer w.
Stebbins late Of Newfane.
In Montpelier Nov. 20, Hazel Marion,
10. daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. Eugene
Marion of Barre.
In Putney. Nov IS. Mrs. Sarah Char
lotte Frost. 76.
In Putney. Nov. 10, Mrs. Mary A
Knight, So widow of James II. Knight
In Nottingham, Nov. is, John Wheeler,
10.
In Saxtons River, Nov. Is, Burton Girls
wold IL.
In Winchester. n. H., Nov. 10, Mrs.
Clarissa Talbot. 60.
In Winchester, n. H., Nov. 20, Mrs.
Mary Eliza Buffum. Sc
In Newport. n. H.. Nov. o. Alexander
V. Hitchcock SO.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25

ne CUCKOO.
This story was told recently at
smoker given by the alumni of the Uni
Versity of Michigan at Chicago.
"A young man and his wife, not long
married, said the relator OF the incident,
lived down on the South Side, where
they had a pretty little two story brick
one OF their wedding presents was large
CLOCK which told the hours and the half
hours by means of the cuckoos cry in
stead OF by the usual chimes or the sound
ing or bell. One night the college
fraternity, of which the man was a mem
Der gave banquet and It was ac-
cordlngly late when he arrived at the
front door of his home He thought that
discretion was the better part of valor.
so that when he got inside he began to
remove his shoes before going up the
stairs. Unfortunately he was not very
happy in his execution of this act, for
one of the shoes slipped and made a noise
that could be heard all over the house.
moment later his wifes voice came
from the head of the stairway.
" is that you, Charles?'
Yesh, dear
What time lit Charles?
Sc Bout IT,
+" And then said Charles in telling the
incident afterward, that blamed clock
began to cry out. But 1t cuckooed only
three times and had to stand there like
a fool and cuckoo the other nine. "-[De-
troit Free Press
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
Bear Weighing $40 Pounds Shot on
Equinox Mountain

The first bear that has been killed on
Equinox mountain in many years was
shot Monday morning in Beartown by
Frank Mifiit. He had been tracking the
bear for two days and finally found him
near his own house eating one of his
chickens. The bear was in fine condition
weighing 80 pounds. Until a few years
ago black bears We're often found on the
East mountain of the Green mountain
range and Burritt Brothers now dead
trapped between 60 and 10, but on Mount
Equinox the bear has been a rare ami
NAL many years
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
News from the Schools.

The schools of all grades closed We'd
nesday at noon for the Thanksgiving re-
cess. They will reopen Monday.
In the near future classes will be form
ed in the high school for gymnasium
work, consisting of dumb bell practice
and Indian club swinging, also tumbling
and pyramidal formation.
Arrangements are being completed for
the organization of a boys glee club in
the high school to consist of 16 picked
musical enthusiasts, and much interest Is
being taken in the matter by the whole
school.
The pupils of the higher grades, es-
pecially the high school, are anticipating
an unusually pleasant and profitable year.
from the many plans being laid for the
advancement of the interests of the
schools in both a social and business way
More enthusiasm is shown in the work OF
the different departments than for some
years previously.
The first meeting of the high school de-
batting club was held Tuesday, Nov. 10
A constitution was adopted and offlcers
were elected as follows: President
Amasa Bodies; vice president, James Bar
rett; recording secretary, Guy t1neld'
treasurer, Walter Parsons; corresponding
secretary Edward Hayward; librarian,
William Cray. The object of this club is
to diffuse knowledge among its members,
and to promote a stronger social spirit
in the school, The meetings are carried
on strictly in accordance with parlimen-
tary rules whereby the members gain a
knowledge of the workings of deliber-
alive assembly. Tuesday evening the first
debate was held in the high school build
ing The meeting was called to order
by the president. After a reading by
Edward Hayward, the debate followed,
Resolved, that the death penalty should
be abolished" On the weight of the ar
gument the house voted eight to two In
favor of the negative. The question was
then submitted to the house for dis
cussion, and several spoke. vote on
the merits of the question resulted in a
tie. The program closed with piano
solo by James Barrett. After this short
business session was held. The next
meeting will be held Friday evening,
Dec. 2.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25

Miss Bertha Bacon has been i'll during
the past week at her home on Atkinson
street.
Services were held last Sunday at 230
p. m, in the old church in Rockingham,
in charge of Rev. d. l.. Sanford.
Mr. and Mrs. Leon F. Ball left Bel
lows Falls permanently last Friday for
their new home in West Chester, Pa.
Rev. Edgar Sanford of OgdensbuFg,
N. Y, assisted his brother, Rector D. l..
Sanford last Sunday morning at the I'm
manuel church service.
Miss Tracy. teacher in one of the
seventh grade rooms has been i'll this
week with tonsilitis. Mrs. Pingree is
taking her place in the school.
Rev. f. e. Margraff of Derby Line, for
mery pastor of the local Universalist
church, has received call to the Uni
versalist parish of ST. Adams.
Deacon c. w. Osgood filled the pulpit
of the Baptist church Sunday in the alb
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
BELLOWS FALLS NEWS
DROWNED AFTER FALL TO RIVER.
North Walpoe on Plank Walk at New
Brdge-Body Recovered.

North Walpole on Plank Walk at New
Brdge-Body Recovered.
Willard F. Sanborn a well known resi-
dent many years, fell Wednesday evening
about 8 o'clock from the plank walk laid
across the piling on which rests the false
work for the Connecticut river bridge,
now in process of construction, and was
drowned. The body was recovered about
10 o'clock yesterday forenoon.
For several weeks many people have
made practice of crossing on the walk
during hours when the bridge men were
not at work. Mr. Sanborn had been in
North Walpole, and was returning to this
side of the river. A number of people
heard the splash and cutlery and going
to the spot, saw him struggling feebly,
but he was not in condition to grasp the
rope thrown to him. and he soon disap-
peared. The body was found in about 10
feet of water, nearly so feet down stream
from where he fell and near the Vermont
side.
In former years Mr. Sanborn was an
expert paper maker, commanding a good
salary in the local mills of the Interna-
tional Paper company, but lost the po-
sition some time ago because of intern
perate habits. He was about 80 years
old, and has two married daughters, as
well as a number of younger children by
a second wife, who also survives him.
For several years he has lived on Lowell
avenue in the rear of Derby & Ball S
scythe and snath shop. This is the first
accident since work on the new bridge
was begun, and will probably result in
closing the structure to all passers eX-
cept those employed by the bridge COM
pany.
At the time Mr. Sanborn fell it was
uncertain which of three or four men the
unfortunate victim was, but he was I'M
derstood for time to be a Mr.. Curtis,
living on Atkinson street and Mr.. Cur
tis's family was notified of his death. He
made his appearance about o'clock in
the morning, and although Mr. Sanborn
was still missing there was an element of
uncertainty as to the identity of the man
drowned until the recovery of the body
yesterday.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
For Over so Years

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has been used
Tor over 20 years by millions of mothers for
cess. II soothes the child, softens the gums
allays all pain; cures wind collie, and is the
best remedy for diarrhea. 1t will relieve the
poor little sufferer Immediately. Sold by
druggists in every part of the world 25c a
bottle. BE sure and ask for Mrs. Winslow's
Soothing syrup" and take no other kind.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
American Farmers in Western Canada

American Farmers In Western Canada.
Practically all of the American immI-
grants find their homes in the cities, VIII
lagos, and spacious farms of the west.
As considerable portion of the British
immigration lodges in eastern Canada.
the American invasion looms relatively
larger in the west than II is, compared
with the whole human influx into Cam
ada. Why do these Americans the very
cream of the farming population of the
wealthy American west seek homes in a
foreign country? Briefly, the answer is
to be found in the lure of free or CHEAP
lands in western Canada and the induce
ment to turn the old farm into cash at
high prices Farms i'm Iowa and Illinois
are worth from seventy-fve to one hun
dred and twenty-five dollars an acre.
Farms in western Canada that in their
virgin state will produce larger crops
may be had for the taking or for five
dollars to fifteen dollars an acre To
these lands turn ALSO the American ten
ant farmer and the hired man. The free
lands In the humid part of the republics
west are gone. Population has crowded
up to the one hundred and first meridian
the general western limit of the humid
belt Beyond lies the cattle country and
irrigation. The American farmer with a
iamily OF growing boys around him sees
no way TO keep the family together but
to emigrate to the last free-land country
on the continent, western Canada-"the
last west" So he sells out. moves west.
ana settles his sons around him: to-
gether, they may homestead and pur-
chase several thousand acres They will
put this cheap land into wheat, blowing
with traction engines that drive simulta
neously nine burrows through the pri-
meVal sod. They may reasonably count
on twenty bushels to the acre, which is
less than the Manitoba average for more
than twenty years. In years of high
prices there Is fortune in a single crop.
Good farmers sometimes get forty and
nifty bushels OF wheat to the acre Think
what such yields mean in these days of
dollar wheat.-[Review OF Reviews for
November.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25

John S. Holden has bought for $40. 900
the farm OF the late John w. Griswold
two miles from Bennington village. 1t
contains 500 acres and on it are the club
house and links of the Mt. Anthony Golf
club. Mr.. Holden will build on the farm
a granite residence for his own occu-
pancy.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
A GUARANTEED CURE FOR eu es

Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding
ointment fails to cure any case, no mat
Ter Ter OF how long standing, in 6 to IA days.
FIRST application gives ease and rest
In stamps and 1t will be forwarded post
paid by Paris Medicine Co., st. Louis,
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
Deaths.

In Brattleboro. Nov 10, Thomas Fenton
In Cambridgeport, Nov. 16. Clark L.
TORY, IS.
In South Londonderry Nov. II, Wal
ter Thompson, SO.
In Brookline. Nov. 10. Mrs. Calista Joy
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25

Their gentle action and good effect on
the system really make them a perfect
little pill. They please those who use
well be termed Perfection"
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25

Charles Vincilette, 8, found a dynamite
cartridge at Swanton and attempted TO
warm it over a stove 1t exploded and his
thumb and finger were torn off.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
lARDINE g. co.
Successors to N. |. HAWLEY

Mems all linen initial Handkerchiefs,
fun size; special at 12Lac, 75e for box Of
six.
Mems fine linen initial Handkerchiefs
at Csc each.
In the Underwear Dept.
Special counter of F1annelette Gowns
Skirts, Drawers and Eiderdown Dressing
Sacques, values 69c and 75c each. Choose
today, ACC each.
Gloves.
We keep only the very best standard
makes, Fisk, Clark and F1aggs wool
gloves at Csc and SOC.
Elite heavy tan gloves, S1.oo.
Elite mocha gloves, black tan, grey,
S1.oo. a
DentS best make kid gloves, $3.50,
Trefousse black suede gloves, $780,
Elite silk lined gloves, s1.5o.
Dents mannish gloves $500.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
Cloak and Suit Dent.

Cloak and Suit Dept.
Quality considered, we are never under
sold. We sell goods only from New York's
best commercial tailors. New purchases
every week keep this department fresh
with the latest and most exclusive styles.
Coats from $500 to 5000.
Suits from $3.50 to $500.
Millinery.
Millinery marked at cost to close, and
some special purchases at way below cost.
Handkerchiefs.
Our Christmas importation OF ladies'
and mems initial Handkerchiefs has
arrived. Now is the time to buy. when
all the initials are here
Ladies all linen handkerchiefs with
embroidered initial and wreaths on cor
ner; special 12Iac each or 75c for box of
SIX
Ladies' extra fine linen initial Hand
kerchefs at 25c each.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25

e. G. Lucas. formerly auditor of the
Central Vermont railroad, died Monday in
Boston.
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1904-11-25
A Bunch OF Microbes.

Ten little microbes on trolley line;
One got thousand volts, and then there
were nine.
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-11-27
rucl, shirreI Skirt WIN rlounco.

Shirrings Of all sorts and in all varia-
tons are TO be noted on the latest
gowns made of soft and piable fab
RIGS This very graceful skirt is
adapted to All these and can be utilized
for many occasions. As illustrated it
is made of crepe de Chine in the new
color known as apricot, which is ex-
ceptionally attractive and beautiful.
The shirrlngs at the waist line contine
the fulness over the hips at the same
time giving a yoke effect which is most
becoming and eminently fashionable.
All materials that are soft enough to
allow the necessary fulness are appro-
pirate.
The skirt is circular with gathered
tlounce that is joined to its lower edge.
The upper portion is shirred to form
a hip yoke and laid in two groups OF
graduated tucks, which also are gath
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-11-27

given by the seams Chat extend to the
shoulders arc peculiarly desirable, as
they tend to give tapcrins effect to
the figure
The coat is made with fronts that
are cut in two portions each. backs.
side-backs ana undcrarm cores, the
vest being separate ana attached un-
der the fronts ON Indicated lines. trhe
sleeves are made in two portions each
and are finished with Follower cuffs at
the wrists. The collar ana reycrs finish
the neck and front edges and are rolled
over onto coat.
The quantity Of material required
for tie medium size is three and five
eighth yards twenty-seyen inches wide,
two and one-fourih yards forty four
inches wide or one and sevcn-eighth
yards fifty-two inches wide, with three
fourth yards Of velvet ana three-fourth
yards Of any width for vest
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-11-27

He was an old farmer on a visit to
town, and he saw two young Fellows
playing chess.
The game was long. and he ven
tured at length to interrupt it.
Excuse me-" said he, but the OBJ
ject Of both of you is to git them
wooden objects from where they are
over to where they sint?"
That partly expresses ii" replied
one Of the players.
And ysu have to be continually on
the lookout for surprises and dificul.
ties?'
Constantly"
And il you aia't mighty careful
you're going to lose some on emf"
Yes"
can there's that other game that /
see some of you dress up odd for, and
play with long sticks an little ball?"
"You mean golt?"
That's what l mean. Is that game
amusin?"
TITS interesting. and the exercise is
beneficial"
We'll, / reckon it's a mighty good
joke."
"To what do you refer?"
THE way I've been havin' fun with
out knowing anything about it. If
you young gentlemen want to really
enjoy yourselves You come ever to
my farm, and sit nae to bet you
drive pigs You'll get all the walkin'
you want, an the way you have to
watch for surprises, an slip about SOS
not to lose EN-. would tickle you
nearly to death"
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-11-27
80 mar Athletes.

AS is only to be expected, consider
ing their national diet-curri-bhat-
the physique Of the natives Of India
will not compare with an Engllsbman}s
though they possess n lltheness OF
form and quickness,. Of eye that we
lack and that make them among the
finest gymnasts and jugglers in the
world. Such perfect balancing pow
ers have they that, even supposing
them bereft of the tenacious grasp of
foot possessed by all barefooted races,
there would be still left much to adj
mire in their skill No contortion
seems too difficult Tor Them no bar
too slight or smooth TO be negotiated:
no height can try their nerves. and no
standing ground appears too small.
Even a slip Is Of littlet consequence to
such clever tumblers. They seem to
have all the climbing powers Of a
cat. As runners tbeirtstaying power
is most remarkable = dak-wallah
deems the taN Of running twenty
miles a mere trinNa
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-11-27
500 Reward. 500.

The readers ofthis paper Will be pleased to
ieara that there Is ut least one dreaded dis
ease tnat science ms been able to cure in All
ltssta ses, ant that - Catarrh Halls Catarrh
Cure 70 the only positive cure now known to
tAe medical fraternity. Catarrh being q CON
stisutoagi disease, requires q constitutional
treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure is tal1oninter-
naiiy acting directly up0a tho blood andmu-
slrtacssof Che system, thereby DESTROY
ing the foundation Of tho disease. and giving
ine iatignt strength by building up the con
sti5ution and assisting nature Ia doing its
WORK. The proprietors have so much faith in
it5 curative powers that they offer One Hun
dfsd Dollars iorany case that It falls to cure.
send Tor list Of testimonials Address
FL. CHENEY 3 Co., Toledo, 0.
soid by Druggists, 75c.
Take Bail's Family pills for constitution,
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-11-27
ned neefer. ror chlIdren.

Glnldren's little red REFERS are again
in favor. Russian blouses are made
in this brilliant color, and with these
are worn white kid or black patent
leather belts. Some Of the blouses are
trimmed In green, others in black cloth
and velvet. Red is also popular in
liner dresses The new sweaters are
buttoned at the back IN those, too,
rcd is in the lead White is also called
for, but It spoiIs easily, and is not so
well adapted for chldrens wear.
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-11-27

The women whose taffeta skirt splits
the second or third time she wears it
is apt 10 sigh for the silks Of her grand
mothers day, with their seemingly i'm
perishable qualities but as matter
Of fact. silks are much better now than
they were before. The ancestral silks.
which were woven on hand looms We're
never Of an even texture, whereas with
modern machinery the last inch Of a
hundred yard piece comes out exactly