The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-05-22
THE TALE OF LOVE LOOUAClOUS.
By dELLETT BURGESS AND WILL IRWIN.

ture, nothing have; coward never made
fortune. as e. p. Roe says, and faint
heart meyer won fair lady. 30 ! de-
clded to strike while the iron was hot.
1 went III and found out that tho pro.
prietor was III old friend OF fr1ire---Bled-
soc, who used to handle n line OF auto
tnntic ndelible pencils nil through Ohio
and says.
"11ello. Bill. now''s the time to get goods
cheap, s'pose while they's going fnst7''
says. II guess can pick YOU out one
in tho back room that ain't too full of
holes. seeing you're one of the family"
mo coats for me-" shys. YOU an't
got but one thing In stock TINT suits me.
but I've got to have that
Name It, he says, and III give you
the trade discount"
"1,he names Handy now" says, ''but
II have my way, It'll be changed In
about two honrs!
"Oh. YOU won't get her. Bill says
"she don't 60 much on men, rownys"
/ was mad, kind Of. l says, We'll, II
she don like travelling In my wagon bet
ter than spending her life Under a leaky
| hosepipc. making a waxworks dummy OF
|
Then there aln't no Virtue In my powers
| OF persuasion. See here, Bill, l says
"yol, know me by name and reputation.
| You know what I've done In my business
yo,, know cun talk the money out Of
yahoo's pocket or tho whitewnsh off
n board fence equally as we'll. What IN
thunder did heaven give me the gift OF
nab for, II can't remove the, objections
from the heart OF young and wishful
female?" 5t 8i ft5i
We'll, he introduced me that night, and
| T nut in my talk without losing no
time.
~ ,ook here. Miss Handy" II says.
Henry Clay has said that a man without
an object Is like n ship without u rudder.
| I would not have permitted myself n
| come and gaze upon you on sundry and
numerous occasions, NOR would be
standing before you here and now IL
had no object. My acquaintance with
you Is short, but my pwcrs Of observation
are large. and have detected and re-
marked in you q true and loving nature
or character that fits like, a dovc-tnl
| into my own. offer you an honest
heart and willing hand. and bank ac-
count that never falls, for 1t lies In a
| law that has power to charm and be-
! guile, also life interest in the Jack Of
all-Trndes pocket tool Ghost combining
| in one and the same instrument thirteen
distinct and separate useful and helpful
tools for the workshop or household. not
| to speak Of the view of Niagara f'alis
| upon the inside For reference. apply TO
| my friend and contemporary, BIZ Bled-
soc. An early ans'ser Is requested, as
| we move out OF town Tomorrow.
She told me to call next day. did
so, and she took me. When 1t comes TO
an argument always win. At a..
NJ ! got my answer. and at $50 we were
/ ,t,,tr rf
! and the justice of the peace at Milwaukee
| had ten dollars in his pocket and BIZ
| Bledsoe box OF superior Key West
| cigars.
Marriage was one blissful dream for
about two hours. 1t took about that
| long for the new to wear off OF 1t for
her. and for her to realize that now she'd
struck a job that didn't require her TO
| deprive herself OF the pleasure OF speech,
Then discovered that had married
a conyersaton Wasn't that pack
| age to hand out to n man for wedding
present? 1t put icicles In my boots for
the whole honeymoon. was married 10
the exact and particular kind of woman
I had been avoiding for n lifetime. she
! lifted up her voice. and I had to stand FOR
| It.. What dye think of that?
| Along toward night saw Id have TO
do something about it or go crazy. ]
| sat down alongside OF her and put my
arm around her In the way ! had ac-
uuired a legal and proper right TO 40.
and | voiced sentiments that palhed anu
/ wounded her.
For the land sakes." she says. Why,
I only married YOU mostly to have some
| BODY to talk to! / thought you had 70
] use your voice SO much In the street day
tines you'd be glad to listen! I've
been working for three years, she says
"ou Jobs where I wasn't allowed TO say
md
no idea what Keller 1t is to have some
| body to talk to by daylight.
! And then she bust into tears. which Is
/ about the only form of argument ain
able to meet. So | passed it up. and let
her go. and bore it as well as / could.
All the unspeakable thoughts and IDEAS
she'd saved up and suppressed While she
was working in the beauty contest, and
| demonstrating for the Northerland Sis
ters. and at that macintosh sale. and for
heaven knows for how many years be
fore that. she begun to let them OUT. ~
was like the leaking Of a big dam. flrst
! would come out a few words AT t!ille'
, like drops. then sentences, then cnap.ei .,
1 then regular novels, and finally "nole
nmhi;c libraries of talk She didn't stop
I. EXCEPT for meals; l know she talked IN
her sleep. She seemed determined 70
! cover the whole range of subjects tnAt
/ mans experience and wisdom mas uis.
covered. and she done 1t in way thA'
/ struck me as being durn fool. -.
otherwise I can venture TO assert WIN.
! ont fear OF successful contradiction that
our married life was what o noted Ainel.
lean poet has called zone long. swee.
song" It was something like liVlns ~
eat her cooking, and have your duos
! packed where you could find thenl !" i,.A
You moved, and sues looks were me
! kind that stand wear, tear and rust ~
any climate. -, ~,
/ But to have to come at night anu NM