davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06

here an carried on somethin' awful,
worse than the widest man from Bor-
neO you ever seen, an Offerin' every
thin to everybody if they'd only tell
him how he could outwit the mayor
an jest then 1 had sorte an idear. So
1 says to him, Say 1 says, Nose
Johnson's lynn dead this mint, waitin'
for the poor board to bury him, Nose
always bein' a shiftless, thoughtiess,
no-'count kind of feller.'
I wish it was the mayor snaps
Mr.. Circus. What of it?'
Well 1 says, 4 dunno as there's
any ordnance regulatin' funerals, or
permit got to be got for the same Do
l get that contract for feedin' the ami
mals?' says.
You do says the circus man, his
face lighting up like a transparency.
Set 'em up for the house, an then
come and show me where Johnson's
abode is
cat first the disconsolate wilder
stood out for a full suit of mournin'-
dress, shoes, stockin's, bonnet, veil, an
all the fxin s-but finally she compro-
missed on a Grape ven an pass to the
show an seat on the band-wagon.
''Accordin', right on the time adver-
t1sed, along down the street past the
mayors Office came a hearse, with
Johnson reposin' peacefully in it, an
the circus follerin' in all its glory, with
crowlin' an carryin' on, each in his
the red an gold glitterin', an the ele-
plants trumpetin', an the lions roarin'
an the hyenas 1aughin', an the rest of
the menagerie howlin' an gruntin' an
particular style, an the band playin'
sometimes a funeral march to jig
time an sometimes "A Hot Time in
the Old Town to funeral march time,
an the horses prancin', an the ladies'
sm1rkin, an the chariots rumblin', an
the clowns GRIMM, an the men smfl-
in, an the steam pianner tootlin'
hymn tunes with variations, an the
circus man a-straddlin' a dancin' pie
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
RACE DONE?
Not a Bit Of 1t.

A man who thought his race was
run made a food find that brought
him back to perfect health.
Zone year ago 1 was unable to per
form any labor and in fact 1 was told
by my physicians that they could do
nothing further for me. 1 was fast
sinking away, for an attack of grip
had left my stomach so weak it could
not digest any food sufficient to keep
me alive.
There 1 was just wasting away,
growing thinner every day and weak
er, really being snuffed out simply be-
cause could not get any nourishment
from food
Then my sister got after me to
try Grape-Nuts food which had done
much good for her and she finally per-
suaded be and although no other food
had done me the least bit of good my
stomach handled the Grape-Nuts from
the first and this food supplied the
nourishment 1 had needed In three
months / was SO strong 1 moved from
Albany to San Francisco and now on
nv three meals OF Grape-Nuts and
cream every day 1 am strong and Wig
orous and do fifteen hours work.
Il believe the sickest person in the
world could do as / do, eat three
meals of nothing but Grape-Nuts and
cream and soon be on their feet again
in the flush of best health like me.
Not only am | in perfect physical
health again but my brain Is stronger
and clearer than it ever was on the
old diet l hope You will write to the
names I send you about Grape-Nuts
for / want to see my friends well and
strong
Just think that a year ago 1 was
dying but to-day, although 1 am over
65 years of age most people take me
to be less than 40, and feel Just az
young as look" Name given by Pos
tum Co., Battle Greek, Mich
There's a reason
Look for the little book. The Road
to Wellvtlle, in each pkg.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Eternal.

Since the star Sirius crossed the Milky
Way
'Tis but a single point in space and
time
The sixty thousand years but YESTERDAY
That seems to vast and sub
lime.
There is no measure for the infinite.
The Past, the Now, the Future as
Through sixty million of our years the
Light
Has flown through space from that
great central sun
There never was time there was no
light,
Or When Creations work was first be-
No time when Thought. the act of Mind,
Did not outstrip the swiftest light of
j. T. Daggett.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Underground Lavatories.

The public works committee of Bir-
ningham, England, in submitting to
the city council a proposition for the
construction of an additional under
ground lavatory, ETC., announces that
where small charges are made there
are profit possibilities in conveniences
of this kind. The committee said that
the four underground lavatories, ETC..
were paying the city a net profit of
S2.433 a year.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Marriages In United state.

or the marriages in general in the
United States it is discovered that out
OF the 1000 considered 139 men will
nave been married at least once be-
lore the celebration under considera-
ton, while the 861 will have made
vows Tor the first time OF the 1000
women III the case only ninety-eight
VIII have worn Widows weeds before
the wedding Thus, out of the 1000
individuals, parties TO the 1000 mar
riage, 237 will have bought or have
worn wedding rings before.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Mine DEVELOPMENT.

Few people realize the extent Of the
underground workings of a gold mine
One mine in the Cripple Creek dis
trict, Colorado, has over twenty-six
miles of development underground.
and is adding to this territory about
four miles a year. 1t would require a
week of walking, riding and climbing
to inspect even half of this mine
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06


torily with the landlord-the wide
roomy porch, with the wobbly, creaky,
comfortable, splint- bottomed rocking
chairs, of the old tavern, not the pl-
aZza" of the garish new hotel, which
the younger generation point to pride
fully as stamping with an outward ana
visible sign the villages evolution into
a city, happened to mentlon-lve
forgotten exactly how it came into my
mind-having seen Gen. Grants fun
eral.
"HumphI" observed the landlord,
contemptuously. you oughter've seen
Nose Johnson's funeral if you wanter
say you've seen a funeral. Eth, tel
1ers?"
An appreciative chuckle circulated
among the rest of the loungers, and
spurred me into asking, "Why?"
."Cause it was worth seein'," ex-
planned the landlord, scraping vigor-
ously with his jack-knife at the turnip
with which he was refreshing himself
whenever any of you out-of-town
fellers comes round here bragg1n
about your gorgeous mortuary page
ants, like them Gen. Grants obsequles
you jest mentioned" he added, after
thoughtfully selecting a new point OF
attack upon the turnip, sit don't Tease
us any. We jest nudge each other in
an unassumin' way, an say He
oughter've seen Nose Johnson's fun
eral.' 1t was plenty of panoramer for
simply country folks like us"
What was it? How was it remark
able?" 1 asked, curiously.
.'Oh, 1 dunno as it was anyways re-
markable, except out here in the
country. Mebbe you fellers that live
in big cities are used to Them" replied
the landlord, cautiously.
well, let me hear about it, and
can tell better" 1 urged.
Then, to begin at the beginnin',"
began the landlord, clearing, reluctant
1y apparently, for action by depositing
the turnip, with his knife stuck up
right in it, on the porch railing, 1T
was all on account of an ord nance
we've got here providin' that there
sha'n't be any parades unless the may
or gives a permit for it. Last year
when the circus struck town we had
cross grained. Grabbed old Teller for
mayor. an when the circus man went
to get permit for his parade he got
turned down
- want a permit to parade says
the circus man.
You can't have it, says the mayor.
"'Td like to know why l can't says
the circus man.
""Cause circuses are demoralizin'
an indecent inventions of the devil for
to lead the young an unwary onter de-
struction, an consequently don't ap-
prove of Them says the mayor.
'''Nothin' of the kind says the cir
Gus man. I'll have you know that
mine is a great moral and instructin
show that1l benefit an uplift any COM
munity. an especial any old moth-eat-
en- fossil like you
$50 the two of them had 1t back an
forth, hot an heavy. The circus man
begin. an the mayor refusin'; the
circus man threatenin, an the mayor
defyin' him; the circus man pleadin',
an the mayor sittin' obstinate; the
circus man gettin' madden an madden,
an the mayor not budgin' an inch; the
circus man cussin'. and the mayor
finin' him seventy-five cents per cuss
until the upshot of it all was that
the circus man had to leave without
the permit, but swearin' he'd parade in
spite of all the mayors an permits in
creation while the mayOr was yOWin'
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Fewer Hours at Same Pay.

Four years ago the working day In
all French factories was one of twelve
hours, a year later it was eleven hours,
and then it came down to ten and a
half; but since April l it has been one
of ten hours. The same wages are
paid for ten hours as were paid when
twelve hours were worked.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
d. - s
Figuring the Chance.

FIUuTfn9 inc CndhCeS.
Charley, DEAR" said young Mrs.
TorkinS, Il have made an invest
ment'
Have your"
Yes 1 think it is very good one,
too. I've bought a ticket for a piano
that is going to be raff1ed off,
How many chances are there?"
"A thousand That's what decided
me. When there are so many chances
as that, one ought to stand a real
good show. oughtn't one, Charley,
dear?'
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Worth Remembering.

Every one of US knows how painful
It is to be called malicious names,
to have his character undermined by
false insinuations. Every one knows
also, the pleasure of receiving kind
look, warm greeting. By that pain
and by that pleasure let us judge
what we should do to others.-Dean
Stanley.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Japanese Deities Are kinaIv

Japanese deIties are as kindly and
gentlehearted as the people them
selves The story of the creation is
quaint Two gods, Izanagi, and Ian
ami, standing upon the bridge of heav-
en-. cast grains of rice abroad to dis
pei the darkness They then pushed
a spear down into the green plain OF
the sea and stirred it around This
spear became the axis of the earth.
started 1t revolving, and thus brought
about the dry land
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Do Your Feet Ache and eurn7

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot
Ease, powder for the feet. 1t makes
tight or New Shoes feel Easy. Cures
Svollen, Hot, Sweating Feet, Corns and
Buuions- At all Druggists and Shoe
stores, 25c. Sample sent FREE. Ad-
dress Allen S. Olmsted. Leroy. N Y
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
se,entist GATHERS Specimens.

DR.. Gottfried Merzbacher, VINO mas
been engaged for two years on a scien-
tific expedition in the inlansnan
mountains, in Central ASA, mas re-
turned to Munich with many oDjec.s
of geological paleontoiog1cai' zooiosr
cal and botanical interest
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
More or Less Personal.

For my part observed young Sor-
reltop, 81 sympathize with the Japan
esq.,"
''The reason for that" spoke up
Miss Snappeigh, may be that you
envy the Russians
Envy the Russians? Why should
1 envy them?"
Because they can raise such great,
splendid, magnificent boards"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Going 1t Alone.

No matter what you undertake; no
matter what the game, be it love or
business, this advice goes just the
same. In your struggle for position.
for happiness or wealth let these
words your motto be: rely upon
yourself Then if you make a ten
strike it will be all your own and if
you in the gutter fall you can wallow
there alone
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
The Fiction She Reads.

But, my dear, will you not take
along some summer fictiOn?" he
asked, as she boarded the train for
the beach.
ooh, no. she responded sweetly. 81
shall depend on your letters from
home"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Africa to Be Cotton Field.

Africa, owing to her climate, soil
and population, is better fitted for cot
ton production than any other of the
continents of the globe, and will be
come the greatest supply field of that
staple after civilized methods of gov
eminent and economies have become
dominant there.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Good Argument.

MA" demonstrated Bobby, when I
was at grandma's she let me have
fruit tart twice"
well, she ought not to have done
so, Bobby" said his mother. 7 think
once is quite enough for little boys.
The older you grow, Bobby, the more
wisdom you will gain"
Bobby was silent, but only for a
moment
well. ma" he said, grandma is q
good deal older than you are-"-Lon-
don Answers
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
How.s This7

We oner One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case of Catar1h that cannot be cured by Hairs
?. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
We the undersigned. have known F. J. Cheney
Tor the last Is years. and believe him perfectly HON
orable In all business transactions and financially
able 70 carry out any obligations made by HIS Arm.
WALDISG, KINSAN d MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, o.
Hall's Cararrh Cure > taken internally, acting
direc " upon the blood mucous surfaces the
system Testimonials sent free Price IS cents per
bottle Sold by all Druggfsrs-
Take Ealrs Family Pills for constipation.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Value of Reading Habit.

There is a gentle, but perfectly ir-
resistible coercion in a habit of read
ing well directed, over the whole
tenor of mans character and con-
duct, which is not the least effectual
because it works insensibly and be-
cause it is really the last thing he
dreams of.-Sir John Herschel.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
MiIkman's Stool Always Handy.

While passing a pasture recently 1
saw a COW with a rope tied to her
horns about ten feet long with &C.
dar block tied to the end of the rope
1 did not know what it was for, and
asked the owner of the COW. That's
me mill1in' STOOL" said he. Il milk
In the pasture and when 1 find me
COW, me stool is always handy" -
Bangor News.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Uses for Fire Enuines.

In some of the country mansions of
England fire engines are kept, which
can be driven by the ordinary cleo
tric-lighting current when desired at
a critical moment, or the fire engine
will wash the outside of the windows
without endangering the lives of serv-
Mt
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Shadow From Venus.

Persons who wish to observe the
shadow cast by Venus may do so by
pointing towards the planet a long
box, bleckened on the inside and
closed by a plate of ground glass The
object to cast the shadow is placed at
the farther end. In these conditions
the shadow is clearly thrown Ola the
ground glass.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Who He Was.

Mr.. Lightweight (airily, to conduc-
tori wonder what that. shabby old
codger finds so attractive in this direc-
ton. He's been cycling me for ten
minutes.
Conductor (thoughtfully)-I guess
he's wondering how you happen to be
travelling on a pass. He's the presi-
dent of the road.-New York Weekly
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Oh! She Knew Him.

mo- he said. impatiently, ct never
could dictate my work. To dictate
one must be able to forget the pres
ence of the stenographer, and that is
beyond me-"
Her eyes were full Of earnest SYM
patty.
But couldn't you get man stenog-
rapher?" she asked.-Town Topics.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06

landlord, resuming his knife and tur-
nip. we're claimin' that the last sad
rites paid to Nose Johnson's ashes
were somethin' new an unique IN the
way of obsequies, at least in this here
neighborhOOd."
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
A Practical Niew.

Hes nothing but hypocrite. Isn't
it disgusting for man to use his re-
Hgion as a cloak?''
yes, and what's more it's foolish,
for religion such as his is necessarily
so fiimsy that he's liable to catch cold
in it,
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Useful, But Not Ornamental.

1t was rather hard on Mil1y Trem-
bles, when. having to dress in hurry
one evening to entertain unexpected
visitors, she forgot all about the por-
Gus plaster which she had put on the
previous NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Bulletin
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Reduces Russian HOLIDAYS.

The car has sanctioned a reduc-
ton in the excessive number of holt
days observed in Russia.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06

Superior quality and extra quantity
must win. This is why Defiance Starch
is taking the place of all others
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Grasp the onportunitv.

In 1865, Durham was a village Of q
dozen houses. When the soldiers
plundered the place. they get a guam
tity of smoking tobacco. They liked
it SO well that they hardly got home
before they began to write to Durham
to get more There were in the town
men of enough enterprise to see the
opportunity which this situation Of
fered them 1t was not long before
Durham statesmen were selling Dur
ham tobacco in every part of the
wOrld.-The Worlds Work.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06

Young Widow-Yes, lost my hus-
band and my spaniel the same day.
Friend-HOw unfortunate!
Young Widow-Yes. Such a nice
dog, tool
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
A Trip to coIorado, Utah or California

is not complete unless it embraces
the most beautiful resorts and grand
est scenery in Colorado. which are
found on the Colorado Midland Rail-
way, the highest standard gauge line
IN the world. Exceptionally low sum-
mer round trip rates to Colorado in
terror state points, Utah, California
and the Northwest are offered by this
line. For information address Mr.. c.
H Speers, General Passenger Agent.
Denver, Colo.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Located.

Hungry Harry-"Where is de dries
place in de world?"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-08-06
Undoubtedly.

Tom-s'Do you believe the averag
girl prefers a handsome mani"
Jack-'.No, she prefers a man VIII
thinks she is handsome"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-09-09
PERSONAL MENTION.

J. II. Walker Of Portland is in the
city.
w. S. Zimmerman Of Portland Is at
the Occident.
DR.. j. H. Olmsted Of Portland Is in
Astoria, on brief visit.
Henry Fleckenstein, Portland liz
uor dealer, is In Astoria.
II. c. Bell Of Portland was among the
passengers down on last nights train.
James W. Hunt Of Tillamook is
among the guests at the Parker house.
Mrs. L. H. Streumeyer leaves this
evening for Seattle, to visit with
friends for a few weeks.
Mrs. Peter Grant and children re-
turned yesterday to Portland. after an
extended visit In Astoria.
II. G. Barker, the we'll known Port
land railroad man, came down yester-
day and is stopping at the occident
DIR. August Kinney was reported to
be quite III last evening. He is being
attended at his apartments at the Cole
Miss Harriet Scholheld and some
friends OF Forest Grove are visiting
friends and relatives III the city.
e. w. Power Of Eagle Cliff is in the
city.
c. W. Spriggs left last night for Illi-
nols, where he will visit with rela-
tives. While IN the east Mr.. Spriggs
win take in the fair. He expects TO be
gone about six weeks.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-09-09

The two Chinese vino were arrested
Wednesday for assault with intent to
kill were yesterday let off with fines
Of $25 each. The charge preferred
against them was most serious one.
and conviction would have sent the men
70 the penitentiary. When the Chi
nese were brought into court yester-
day for preliminary examination TIE
prosecuting witness. sead You. who
had been assaulted, was unable 10
Identify the man who a8salled him. ht
the time OF the assault he was leaning
over the counter at the Bond stree,
store. His head was bowed wnen the
assailant made two lunges at him. He
was unable to say which of the men
had done the cutting. OF course. this
knocked the states case In the head,
but Deputy Prosecuting Attorney
Abercrombie induced the men to plead
guilty to charge Of simple assault.
Thereupon they were fined each In the
sum Of $25.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-09-09
WEST SIDE NOTES.

Mrs. Jewett spent Sunday in Skip
anon.
c. G. Palmberg was in warrenton
on wednesday of this week.
The Rev, ]. f. Forsyth was calling
on his parishioners on Wednesday.
Miss Irene Johnson and Mrs. W. H
Hobson spent Labor day in Skipanon.
Mrs. Ada Adams is visiting her sis
ter. Mrs, Herman Kabols, of Warren
ton.
Mrs. Eva Dudley of Portland spent a
day with relatives In Skipanon last
week.
Miss Marge Halsted of San Fran
cisco is guest of Miss C. R. Hig-
gins.
Mrs. Densmore goes to Portland on
Thursday so her son Eugene can enter
school.
Miss Clara Halferty has gone to Nc
Minnville to spend few weeks with
relatives.
Mrs. Baisley and children have gone
to California where Mr.. Baisley is now
employed.
Mrs. Costa and family left for San
Francisco on Thursday Mr.. Costa
went some time ago.
Miss Sophie Rieman has returned to
Portland after spending several. weeks
in Skipanon with her grandparents.
Mrs. Frank Sweeney left warrenton
on Thursday to join Mr., Sweeney in
Portland where their home will be for
some time.
Mrs. H. C, Thompson of Portland is
visiting her mother, Mrs. D. K. War
rem. while Mr.. Thompson is in San
Francisco with the Knights Templar.
The new Lewis and Clark road is in
very good shape and is a favorite drive
for Astoria people when they want
a spin on the ocean beach. on Sunday
a dozen or more buggies may be seen
on the west side.
Mr.. William Morrison and Mrs. Car
nahan went to Salem on Monday to be
with their sister, Mrs. Minto. who was
yery Ill. On Wednesday came news of
her death, Mrs. Mimic was the Oldest
daughter of the Morrison family and
well known and respected in Clatsop
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-09-09

AZ the session Of the county court
yesterday A. L. Parker, John Frye and
County Surveyor Astbury were APP
pointed viewers 10 lay out the route
Of the road petitioned for by J. II.
Wherry and others. They will meet at
the school house at Elsie on ;Septeh1-
bcr IL at 4: 80 a. m. The court author
ICED Commissioner Larson 60 purchase
ia boat for use OF the keeper OF the
Youngs bay bridge, and the Tongue
Point Lumber Company was awarded
. contract for furnishing 10 cords OF
wood. at $3.50 a cord.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-09-09

ard who was in Astoria when she
last heard from him. The !etter tear
fully impiores the chief to assist her
in locating her boz. She says he has
been away from home for several years,
and that she received letter from
dated July 2s, this year, He was then
stopping nt the Hotel Astoria. She
answered at once. but did not receive
Il reply, Mrs. Blanchard is very anxious
to hear from her boy and the chief VIII
make every effort to locate him.