The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-11-30
ANOTHER "FooL PROFESSOR.

Mr.. Dooley wasn't far wrong when,
discussing 1.-The Intellectual Life" with
his friend, Mr.. Hennessy, he said:
II wisht tn iditor wud put what the
colledge professor had to say yester-
dab in tn same column iv tn pa-aper
ivry day. Thin he wudden't have to
collect amy other funny column.
Humorous: Professor Windhaul iv
Harvard makes a Savidge attack on
Abraham Lincoln AS it is, | some
times have to hunt through tn pa-aper
r'm tn Newport scandal on page wan
to tn religious notes on page two hum
dred an four befure / come acrost me
fav-rite funny sayin'S iv funny fellows
What / like most about it
is that a colledge professor niver
speaks firm impulse. He thinks ivry-
thing out thurly befure announcin' his
opinyon. TIL theory iv me larned frind
down in Rockyfellar's colledge that
very soon ye'd see me r-rushin' down
Archey Road with tommyhaWk in
me hand, thryin' to thrade off a pony
FIR a wife an a wife FIR a bottle iV
wood alcohol, didn't leap out iv his
gr-reat brain in scandalous hurry.
He pondeerd it long an carefully. TIL
idee sthruck him at breakfast while
he was eatin' his prunes an did not
machure till he was half through with
tn ham an eggs. SO with Professor
Windhaul. He didn't land on Lincoln
till he was sure iv his ground. He
first made inquiries an found out that
there was such man. Thin he looked
FIR his name among tn graduates iv
Harvard. Thin he bumped him. It's a
good thing Lincoln was dead befure
he was assaulted. He niver wud have
survived tn attack
The above words of wisdom are re-
called because another fool "coiledge
pro-fisser' has broke loose in Illi-
nois. Most of the fool professors live
in or near Chicago. There must be
something about the lake or the wa
ter that drives out the brains from
The latest exhibition is thus reported
in the Indianapolis correspondence of
the New York SUM-
Prof Henry Shryock, of the Illi
nOiS State Normal University. took DR..
James Whitcomb Riley to task in an
address before the Delaware County
Teachers Association. He said that
he deeply regretted that Riley's poems
are not written in classic English, for
as they now appear they cannot be
taught in the schools without debaS-
ing the language. For this reason they
should be barred for all time. While
he liked the sentiment of many of
the poems, he declared that it is
marred for educational purposes by
its plebeian dress and its corruption of
the language, which the pupil is, or
ought to- be, taught to speak purely
This is the mildest break" record
ed this decade. for most of the pro
fissors" who are looking for senstl-
lions begin by tearing down George
Washington or Abraham Lincoln ans
end by annihilating the Bible and
ridiculing Watts and Wesley and all
the writer's Of the great hymns that
have stirred the hearts of men and
women in all the great revivals, that
have marked the highest elevation of
religious enthusiasm.
But we are sorry for James Whit
comb Riley. When he reads that his
songs of the soil are excluded from
the Illinois State Normal University
and that Prof. Shryock regards them
as "plebian,' the Hoosier poet will
doubtless burn up all the copies thai
he can obtain and seek q cane break
into which to hide himself forever.
By the way, who is Prof. Henry
Shryock ANYWAY?