davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

reading in very acceptable manner
the Chris tmas story, 1.-THE Christmas
Ogre.''
Mrs G. L. Tryon and Miss Julia Oar
row of Meriden have visited Mrs G. W.
Tryon.
c. w. Tryon has taken a S6OOO-road
contract in Coventry.
Miss Lucy Wright, superintendent
of the Associated Charities of Taun-
ton, Mass, came home on Christmas
day and is spending week at St John
rectory.
The school board held a meeting at
the town clerk office, Monday after
noon, and granted certificates for the
balance of the school year to Miss Rose
Sinclair for Taunton, Miss Vina l.
Mclaughlin for Head of the Meadow,
Miss Elsie L. Ferry for Flat Swamp,
Miss Edna M. Lawrence for Hopewell,
Miss Marion Williams for Lake George
and Miss Edith Wales for Gray's Plain.
Eugene Peck is spending few days
at his parents home in HuntingtOwn
district.
Mr. and Mrs Frank Ives and daugh-
ter have recently visited friends in
New Milford.
G. S. Russell and family visited at
the residence Of Mrs J. B. Russell in
the Park City, last week.
Miss Sadie Minor goes to New Ha-
ven, Thursday night, where she will
remain till Monday as the guest Of Mrs
States.
Miss Fida NJ. Merrell of New York
City passed her Christmas vacation
with her parents, Mr. and Mrs Hiram
Merrell.
Mr. and Mrs Frederick L. Northrop
and children of Lordship farm, Bridge
port. were guests, Christmas, of Mr.
and Mrs Hiram Merrell.
Raymond Northrop, who has been
i'll with the measles at the home of his
parents, Mr. and Mrs George w. Nor
thrOp, in Palestine, has recovered, and
resumed his position in Derby, Monday.
G. Roy Platt of New York was home
for the holidays.
There will be meeting Of Virgilus
council. No. lS5, X. of c., in St Pat
rick's hall on New Years day, immedi-
ately after O'Clock mass. All men,
bers'are requested to be present. John
f. Heating, Grand Knight.
The Misses Catherine, Mamie and
Celia Harrigan Of Bridgeport spent
Christmas with their mother, Mrs
Daniel Harrigan, on Walnut Tree Hill.
John H. Keane of Bridgeport passed
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

G. Roy Platt of New York was home
for the HOLIDAYS.
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

Mrs G. L. Tryon and Miss Julia Oar.
row of Meriden have visited Mrs G. W
TryOn.
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

John H. Keane of Bridgeport passed
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

Mr. and Mrs James G. Bloom of
Brooklyn, N. Y, are guests of their
daughter, Mrs w. A. Leonard.
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

Miss Fannie A. Marble, of the Court
land school, Bridgeport, is with hel
mother, Mrs M. G. Marble, for the
holidays.
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

Mr. and Mrs Frank Ives and daugh-
ter have recently visited friends in
New Milford.
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

G. W. Tryon has taken a $6OOO-road
contract in Coventry.
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

Eugene Peck is spending a few days
at his parents home in HuntingtOwn
GiStrict
The Newtown bee., 1904-01-01

Mrs Annie Platt is on the sick list.
DR. Gale attends her.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
Casualties.

Fire at Scranton, Pa. destroyed the
triple stores of the Goldsmith bazaar
and damaged two other buildings.
Loss is 5000, 000.
The fire which broke out in the mill.
tary reservation north OF Fort Sill
kept soldiers and Indians busy all
Sunday fighting It.
Patrick Mullins and wife, an aged
couple of Winnipeg. have been suffo-
Gated as a result OF a small blaze in
the house at midnight.
The general ONCE building Of the
New York Central railroad at Oswego,
N. Y, was destroyed by FIRE involving
a loss o fmore than 500. GOO.
Three sons Of Mrs. Savole. . widow,
burned to death and q fourth
probably fatally injured In q fire that
destroyed their home at Black River,
N. B.
The charred remains of q mans
body has been found in a strawstack
hear Hampton, la. Owing to the con-
dition Of the body 1t will be impossible
to identify It.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
DEWEY RUNS NO RISKS.
Didn't Call on Dominican President
Because Of Bullets.

Didn't Call on Dominican President
Because Of Bullets.
Washington, March 15. - Admiral
Dewey, who, with several members OF
the general staff and Assistant Secre-
tary Loomis of the state department,
are now in Havana, has teiegraphed
the navy department the reasons why
he failed to call on President Morales
OF Santo Domingo when the party
were in Dominican waters several
days ago. The failure to visit caused
considerable surprise at the time. 1t
appears that there was fighting In
rogress In the vicinity on the day the
party was there, and for that reason
the admiral did not deem It advisable
to make an official visit. Daring the
forenoon there we're several casualties
In San Domingo from the fighting then
proceeding. This was caused by
shots crossing the river through which
the boat must PASS, and as more fight
ing was expected during the afternoon
the admiral gave up the proposed visit.
The admiral, however, sent his re
spects to President Morales by United
States Minister Powell
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Gambling Fever seIzcs All Glasses al
Des Moines.

LES mOiflC@s
Des Moines. Iowa, March l5.-Tne
gambling fever has seized Des MONIES
and business and professional men, so
ciety women, clerks, ste~nograpbers
and newsboys are dabbling in the
policy game, which is being run
openly throughout the business dis-
tricts. Three shops have already been
opened and the wheel is being rolled
from three to Ave times a day. The
city administration. which is just re-
firing from office, for some reason a
not frowned upon the play. Solicitors
are working throughout the entire
city and the sale of tickets on the
games is sometimes immense. The
innovation has caught many, and the
small bettings with many chances are
being poured into the gamblers tlls
by girls from behind the counters, In
stenographic positions and other avo-
cations. Ii is even claimed that the
fever has spread among the house
holds on Grand avenue n other
prominent residence districts and that
some of the women are going in heav-
f1y
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
STEAMER rs LOST.
Pro Patria Long Overdue and Il
Thought to Have Met Disaster.

Thought to Have Met Disaster.
Halifax, N. S., March 15.-No news
has been received from the French
steamer Pro Patria since she left ST.
Pierre. Miquelon, for Halifax, fourteen
days ago. Fears are now entertained
that she has met with disaster. She
should have reached this port March 2.
The Pro Patria carried a crew of
Lafonread, and on board were forty
passengers. an unusually large COM
plement for this season of the year.
Among the passengers it is stated
were a number of wealthy Parisians
bound for their homes in France.
None of the incoming steamers have
sighted the Pro Patria. Telegraphic
inquiries have been made at ports
along the eastern shore of Nova
Scotia from this city to North Sidney,
but no news of the missing craft has
been received.
The Red Cross liner Rosalind, under
command of Capt. Clark, arrived here
last night from st. Johns, N. F. The
Rosalind came over the same course
the Pro Patria should have taken, but
Capt. Clark a y
He Saw Mo Signs
of the missing steamer. The Plant
Steamship company representative OF
the Pro Patria still holds out the hope
that the steamer is in the ice, but
shipping men in general say there is
but a slight chance of her being afioat.
Even should the vessel be afoat, her
passengers and crew must be starving,
as she was never provisioned for
than six days and carried a limited
supply of coal.
1t was reported last night that nego-
tiations were in progress to charter
the steamer Harlow to go out in
search Of the Pro Patria.
The m Elliott and Britannia,
which were caught in the ice of
Whitehead. have been released and
made port uninjured.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
CANNON NAMES COMMITTEE.
Will Investigate Charges Against Con-
gressmen.

gressmen.
Washington, March 10. - Speaker
Cannon announced In the house Sat
urday the special committee provided
for by the Mccall resolution adopted
by the house to investigate the i'm
dictment report from the postofiice
department" as follows:
Mccall (Rep., Mass.), chairman;
Hit (Rep., ILL.,, Burton (Rep., Oohio),
Metcalf tRep., CALI, McDermott
(Dem.. N. ~. Bartlett (Dem., Cal.
Richardson tDem., Ala.
The committee was in session two
hours and adjourned to meet to-day.
The work to be done was decided and
also the procedure to be followed.
The acts and conduct of those officers
OF the department who transacted
business with members of congress
undoubtedly will be scrutinized close
ly. The investigation also will dis
close the author or authors of the "in-
dictment" report. A member of the
committee said the house would ex-
pect q thorough investigation OF every
case mentioned In the report, and he
believed the makeup Of the committee
insured most careful and thorough
work.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
TO FIRE 500 COPS.
Explosion In chicago's Police Depart.
ment Is Expected.

Chicago, March 15.-An explosion IN
the police department is expected
when the findings of the New York
detectives who Swallowed the Chicago
patrolmen on their beats TO learn 70
what extent they neglected their duty
are made known. A complete report
viii he made TO the City club, under
whose auspices the investigation was
carried on. within ten days.
The immediate discharge of 500 pa
trolmen will he recommended. accord
ing 10 the indications from inquiries In
many places and information gathered
from many sources.
Evidence will be submitted showing
specific instances OF neglect of duty,
violation of the rules Of loaing in sa-
looms. reasons of unftness. II will be
alleged that these 500 policemen on
the Chicago force
Are cowardly in the face O. danger.
Are saloon loafers,
Are In collision with thieves and
unfortunate women, dividing
The SpoiIs Of Crime.
Allow vice and crime 10 be un-
checked for a consideration.
Try TO hide their numbers when
any one goes up 10 talk with them.
They do this by lifting their arms. os-
tensibly to twirl the mustache. Many
ruff off the black enamel from the
number on their stars so as to make
II hard to see
Are indifferent to their work.
are no more good than old women
10 be policemen.
II has been found that Chicago has
more plain clothes" men IN service at
present than New York. This is ex-
pected to surprise the citizens who
year after year have listened To the
complaint Of the chief of police that
the inef1ciency of the department was
due TO lack of men.
Thus. so far as the detective branch
of the service is concerned, the report
will point out that Chicago should be
more thoroughly policed than New
York.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
FIGHT OF RIVAL COMPANIES.

Electric Lines In Iowa Struggling for
Rights Of Way.
Iowa Clay, Iowa, March 1b.-An ex-
citing contest is being waged here be-
tween two rival companies for the
possession of the right of way for an
electric line between here and Musca-
tine. The Iowa City. Davenport &
Muscatine Electric Railroad company
has been making surveys and has Sc
cured rights and franchises. A new
company. the Eastern Iowa Railroad
company, has started, and already Sc
cured options on a great deal Of land
along the route of the old company.
There Is some question about the or
ganization of the new company, but 1t
is proving an annoying rival to the
older one, which expected to be run
ming cars in sixty days.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
STROKE or woMEN's CREW.

Wisconsin Girl Honored It Wellesley
University.
Monroe, Wis. March 15.-Miss Hat
tie Ludlow Of this city has been
chosen stroke of the Wellesley fresh.
man rev Her family is prominent
and wealthy. She was graduated from
the Monroe high school with the class
of 1902 and spent q year In the Uuiver-
sity of Wisconsin. going to Wellesley
last fall. She Is an attractive brunette.
who has always been partial to out.
door life and sports.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
OLIVER HARTMAN DEAD.

Prominent IN Financial and Social
Life In New York.
New York. March 15.-Olive Hafri-
man. formerly and for many years one
Of the best known dry goods mer-
chants in this city and prominent in
its financial and social life. died yes
terday at Mount Kisco after q linger-
ing Illness, aged seventy-hve years.
He was one Of the founders Of the
ilrm OF Low. Hartman & Co. One OF
his children is Mrs. w. X. Vanderbilt.
e. III. Hartman. president Of the
Unlon Pacific railway. is his nephew.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
POSTAL ORDER TAMPERED.
Iowa Farm Hand Arrested, Accused OF
PitifuI Attempt to Be Bad.

Pitifui Attempt to Be Bad.
Sioux City. Iowa, March l5.--An al
legged attempt to bunco the United
States government out OF S72 has
landed Richard Carey, a young farm
hand who has lived near Nemeha.
Iowa. behind the bars OF the Sioux
City Jail, awaiting action by the fed
eral grand jury. Carey paid So for a
money order at Nemeha and then. 1t
is said, attempted to raise it to an $50
order by placing a cipher after the
figure s. He SEN the order to a Chi
a firm TO purchase an $50 shotgun.
The firm discovered the written words
Eight dollars" and wrote to Carey
requesting $72 more. which he prompt
ly sent. The doctOred order was
turned over to the authorities and
Carey was arrested.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
Sin and Sinners.

A mob at Springfield, Ohio, stormed
the Jail, secured possession of a negro
murderer, and lynched him.
DR.. George S. Hatch. a practicing
physician Of Boston, has been arrest
ed charged with completely in counter
feiting operations. He was arraigned
and released on $4,000 bail.
James McDonough, a Missouri Pa
cifc switchman, was shot at Kansas
City by Norman Rupe. a special officer
employed by the Employers associa-
ton, who claims self-defense.
A. M. Beaver, thirty-one. a stock
%speculator Of Hyde Park, N. Y. is un.
der arrest at Poughkeepsie. charged
with raising a check on the Irving Ma
tional bank Of New York from S2.70
to 5000.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

throws valuable additional light on the
bombardment of Port Arthur last
Thursday. He says that the attack
was intended for the forts, but the
Japanese FIRE ov~errcached. There was
small destruction and the casualties
were no numerous. Twenty soldiers
and two civilians were Killed and
three civilians injured. The Japanese
used 400 or 400 Russian shells which
they found on tho captured transport
Manchuria.
The refugee mentioned above says
only four Japanese cruisers were
actively engaged. The forts replied
with several shots whenever the Jap
anese left the cover OF Lao .aic Shan
promontory.
Resides the Retvizan, the battle.
ship Petropavlovsk received slight
damage from shot.
Port Arthur Suffered Heavily.
Toxic. March l5.-oficial and pri,
waite reports both indicate that Ad,
miral Togo's fourth attack or Port
Arthur on the 10th inst. was the nost
effective since the first assault Of a
month ago. One Russian torpedo
Russian torpedo boat destroyers
seriously damaged. The fortiffcations
and city were subjected 10 a BON
hardment lasting nearly -four hours.
The naval bombardments of the land
works have generally been ineffective,
yet the peculiar typographical condi-
tions of Port Arthur make immunity
from serious loss from bo~mbardment
almost impossible. Admiral Togos
torpedo fotilla opened the action by
boldly steaming in under the batteries
and successfully placing a number of
mechanical mines AT the mouth of the
harhor Following that there was a
desperate
Bow &c eow Encounter
between the torpedo boat d~estroyers
In which the Japanese appear TO have
scored a clear victory Then followed
a long range duel between the cruis-
ers. ending in the retirement of the
Novik and Bayan, the only Russians
engaged. The closing action was the
bombardment of the inner harbor by
the Japanese ~battleships. The latter
took a position southwest of Port Ar
thur and used only their tweive-inch
guns. There were twenty-four twelve
inch guns in the squadron of six bat
tleships and each IL fired five
rounds, making a total OF l20 huge
projectiles that were fired at the city.
The bombardmept was deliberate and
carefully planned.
Admiral Togo was unable to definite
ly learn the results of the lombard.
ment, but later private reports indi-
cate that much
Destruction Was Caused
in the city, where a series OF TRES
broke out. There also was damage to
batteries,
Can't. Shokorio Azai, commanding
the iotilla OF torpedo boat destroyers
which engaged the Russian destroyers,
is the hero of the attack. He had only
three torpedo boa ~destroyers, but at
tackled the seven Russian d~estroyers.
ordering his craft to close. in with the
enemy He steamed SO close to the
enemy's destroyers that they almost
touched and a most desperate con-
1ict ensued, from which the Russians
retreated badly damaged,
Admiral Togo is permanently mum
bered among the heroes of the empire.
The latest reports place the japanese
loss at nine killed, five seriously
wounded and fifteen slightly hurt.
The Japanese beet was not damaged
in the fighting.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
FIRE CHIEF HIT BY WALL.
Big Blaze at Ripon, Wis, Causes $50,
600 Loss.

Ripon, Wis, March 10. - A $500 0
fire occurred here Saturday morning
and Chief r. A. Brauer of this city,
who, with a company of Oshkosh fire.
men, came to the assistance of Ripon,
was struck by falling walls and seri-
ously hurt. The fire started in the old
fremont house and involved the fol-
lowing: Pedrick hall, Bucholt's gro
Gerry store, Everz's shoe store. gas and
water Office, Commonwealth newspa-
per plant, Fair dry goods store and
Masonic hall. At 9 o'clock the fire
was under control. The property is
fairly well insured.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
PITh OF THE NEWS
CONDENSED NEWS FROM ALL
PARTS OF THE WORLD.
Washington.

A constitutional amendment provid-
ing for a national marriage Law Ii
proposed.
The Red Lake reservation in Min
nesota will be opened for settlement
before July /.
Important changes in the public
land laws are recommended by the
commission appointed by the presi-
dent.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Seattle, wash.. March ia terri
Bile explosion that shook the entire
northern part Of the city resulted IN
the instant death Of Terrance Scott. =
niHesyear-oId hoy. A large quantity Of
the explosive had been left In . kettle
70 thaw out noar the open IRE.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Nine. Sarah Grand not only smokes
fourteen OF the nasty things in a day,
Lut inhales the smoke. Which may
account for several Of her peculiari-
ties.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Ottawa. Ont. March 15.-wnliam 8
Hamilton. an ex-policeman who runs
. restaurant here, has been arrested
on : charge Of killing John Fitzgerald.
twonty-eight years 81 age, N ex-ser-
goan& 0l IN Irish reeimenG.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

The name Of the capital Of Korea
might Appropriately be changed from
Seoul to ssheol.r At least, some Of
~ foreign residents : likely to
think % before this cruel m II
over
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

A Louis XIV pronounced Cans)
sEuff-hox has been purchased for So.
600. Now, wouldn't that make you
sneeze?
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Tall American girls" says an ex.
change, are very popular in Europe"
And the same authority might have
added that short ones are, % {.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
ACCEPTS SANKEY'S PLAN.

Credttor OF Livingston Quackehnusn
Meet at lie Sueur.
lie Sueur, MINI, March 15.-An In
formal meeting was held here Satur-
day by the creditors of the insolvent
banker. Livingston Quackenbush, at
which about 800 persons were present.
representing the greater portion of the
$4,000 Indebtedness IT was agreed
to accept the proposition made by Mr..
Quackenbush to pay out 80 per cent OF
the claims and he will make an effort
on his part to furnish q good bond for
this amount.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
ouAFFs ~NiTRoGLYcER hin.
Explosive Left by Burglars Kills I'm.
biber.

Hill City, 8. d., March ia guam
tity of nitroglycerin that had been
left by burglars after blowing the
safe in Robert McNish's saloon here,
was swallowed by Patrick O'Connor.
from the effects of which he died a
few minutes later. He thought the
stuff was whisky. The safe in the sa.
loon was blown several times during
the night, but the robbers evidently
became discouraged, for they failed to
reach its contents. The cash register
was robbed of about $50.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

ne real estate dealer who = to
- ! bookmaker for e75.000. ioet 1t
Errntoea and other r~acetra0ks prob
oblv wouldn't have sofled bis nngsrs
IN ~ money Of the bookmaker Il
- hn6 won. NO. on. -.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Burlington. Iowa, March Is. - The
worst snowstorm Of the Is rag
ing over this region. Street car trafnc
II badly interfered with. The snow IL
ten inches on the level and drifting
badly.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Kunzite, the new germ. Is described
N coming under the head Of spodu-
meme. otherwise known as triphane.
That makes il clear to the merest
child.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

The Cramps and the Krupps are no
Doubt looking forward to q brisk trade
- Don as the present trouble is over
and Japan and Russia can negotiate
new loans.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

A man SO years old has just been
admitted to the bar. With fair luck
he hopes in time 10 he able 10 build
mp a good practice
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

A French dancing master has been
making chorus girls more graceful by
hypnotizing them. Usually it's the
girls who attend TO the hypnotizing.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Plans are being made to have q
n~rst-class baseball team in Washing
ton during the coming season. Such
plans are regularly made at about
this time OF the year.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

Japan win practice ON the Russians
with q e variety Of explosive. but
from ell accounts the original pack,
g was a fairly salty dose.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

An effort has been made TO get John
l. Sullivan into the Carrie Nation
theatrical company, but John won't
stand for the saloon-smashing scene.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17
THIS DOG LIVES ON CORN.
Bull Terrier Rejects 6eefsteak Tor
Kernels on Cob.

Alto Pass. ILL.,. March 15.-The great
est curiosity az present Is a corn-eat-
Ing dos belonging to Fred Seeger of
Jonesboro. THIS canine freak is an
English bulldog. and he cares no more
for = choice bit Of beefsteak than a
South yea islander does for Shakes
peare. but he win eat an q Of corn
with the greatest relish. Corn on the
cob II his diet and he Il - plump and
Jolly e : dog can be.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

II Ia to be hoped that the Massa-
chusetts minister who oflciated at
thiTty-nve funerals last year.. with a
net total profit OF $2.69, had better
luck with weddings.