davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
A Cabinet Ministers phOnoeraph.

Since his accession to the British cab inet Mir. Graham Murray has made a stin greater use of the photograph for the conduct of his correspondence as Secre- tary of State for Scotland than he did during the period when he acted as Lord Advocate in the same department. Some five or six dozen "reeords'' are now con stantly in use and to these the minister dictates the replies to his numerous let- ters. together with a mass of other de- tail work connected with the office over which he presides. These are then for warded to London, if he happens to be in Scotland. and the contents are taken down by his secretaries in Whitehall. This done the records are scraped of and the cylinders are once moro ready for use. By keeping a photograph both in London and Scotland the Secretary of State, alone among his colleagues in Mir. Balfour's reconstructed cabinet, Is able to give viva-voce instructions to his de- pertinent at a distance of some hundreds or miles.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

Adam or Noah or Diogenes, whatever your d'hanged name is," said I,
 Tt at least shows great erudition," 1" said one of them. whichever it was.
 And when I at last encountered the Gentleman-and.A frankly. almost grew tired of waiting for him through all the long and weary centuries which elapsed before the Peekskill era dawned, and I was so fearful that the stories he was going to tell would grow old before he had his chance-I was not in anywise dis appointed. All that I had hoped for. all that I had looked forward to- every trait of character, every little personal habit, all those graces of gesture, of in- tonation and bearing-even the story It. self, old 1t was
 (Note-At this point a half sheet of Father Times manuscript Is missing. A thorough search of the parcel has failed to disclose its whereabouts. sd that we are regrettably to be deprived of this famous story, the very Adam of Anec- dotes.-Ed.)
 Gro be Continued)
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
Father Time's Sympathy For Nebu- chaduezZar

I could never bring myself to care for Nebuchadnezzar (the memorialist writes) for the reason that I found him to be a man of a most overbearing disposition, tyrannical in little things, small in big ones. and, to drop into the vernacular of the street gamins of Babylon, so in- mortally stuck on himself as to give even his admirers a pain in the neck. Never theless. when the hour of his downput came, so pitiable, indeed, was his new estate as compared to his former splen- dors that one hardened even as I am to trouble and misfortune could not but feel deep sympathy for him. Deprived of all his kingly grandeur and brought down for his daily nourishment to a meager diet of grass. he. the proud Prince, who had lived always upon can vasback and terrapin and other bril- liant incidents to what is termed the fat of the land-he was such fearful pie
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

many others who had observed him and his ways l had come to regard his selec- ton Of tub as a place of residence as great affectation-a mere pose. But as he explained 1t to me afterwards, I dis covered that this was not so at all but that his extraordinary choice was based upon the soundest of domestic and eco homie principles.
 Living in a tub," said he, in one of those little heart to heart talks which nave become one of the most cherished Of my recollectlons lis ideal, hygentc to the last degree, and easily shown to be perfectly sound in morals and eminently sane In the first place" he continued, T don't have 10 pay rent. In the second place, l am not eternally pursued by Janitors, hall boys, scrub women ard others demanding fees. It matters not to me whether the elevator runs all night or not Having no front door, I do not have to md a keyhole in order to get in when 1 come home late at night from the club. The utter absence of plumbing prevents my pipes from freezing in the good old winter time. can use It on Mondays to do my washing in, and if I wish to write letter l can turn 1t up- side down and use the upturned bottom of it for a desk And. best or all, if the neighborhood in which 1t stands deteri- orates can hoist 1t on my shoulders and move on into upper Fifth Avenue or any other old place where land and society come high. Having no room for d wife. l do not marry. and therefore escape visits from my wife's relatives, and 1t brings me personally an amount of free advertising that money couldn't buy"
 But isn't 1t unc omfortahle to sleep in?' I asked.
 That l do not know replied Dioge- nese. You see when I sleep in 1t 1 m asleep"
 do not recall. in all my experience, a greater sagacIty.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
An Exposure of Midas.

An Exposure of Midas.
 1t is the good or bad fortune of the memoriallst Cwr;tes Father Time) to te required by his conscience to set right certain false impressions concerning the distinguished figures in history with whom he has come in contact The role of the iconoclast is not aIways a pleas ant one for the time being but in the end he who assumes It. if he but speak the truth. cannot be otherwise than tn beneficiary of his courage. I write thus because at this period 1t fell to my lot to meet most distinguished financ!er of the name of Midas-his full name was John w. Midas; what the w" stood fol? let me be frank to say, I do not know. though I suspect it was the ab- breviated form of the word water"
 There has grown up about Midas a sort of superstition that everything he touch ed turned to gold-a unique sort of touch, It must be admitted by all Yet 'expe- rience has taught me that there are touches and touches, and rare is the touch that turns into gold for the touchee. and therein lies the secret of the whole superstition. Midas touched pret- ty nearly everybody about him. and, te- ing credited with riches. his touches turned invariably into gold-for hlm-brt the others-well, as far as I have cen able to discover no one ever pro1ted by shaking hands with Midas
 As case in point I remember attend- ing a public banquet one night given for Midas and seeking, like everybody else, before the evening was over to be touch- ed by his magic hand. I sent my menu card up for his signature, and even with the indorsement of his name 1t came back to me as so much paper. The pen cil he held in his hand remained lead and no change was observed to come over the plated knives and forks that he used in the course of the feast. Finally, the dinner over went to him and put the case frankly:
 Mir Midas" said I. you are supposed to have the magic touch. Will you touch me?"
 Certainly" said Midas. with the
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

Anecdcte of Diogenes.
 Diogenes, in spite of his great reputa- ton as cynic. was a man of extraor- olnary common sense, and withal of great personal charm. In common with a great
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

ture of the depths of misery that my heart was stirred.
 Pausing at his side as he ate his daily timothy. I ventured to assure him of my great sorrow over his misfostunes.
 Alas! yes," said he. "It is indeed aw- full, Father Time, And I doubt if even you know the worst.'
 Could anything be worse than that which I see. Your Highness?" I demand ed.
 Yes" he sobbed. Not only do my for mer subjects in this very hour of degra- dation refer to me as old Hoss,' but what is even more humiliating"-
 'Yes?" I queried.
 "The chef who prepares my daily grass absolutely refuses to pull the weeds be- fore serving itr' he answered, burying his face In my shoulders and weeping bit terly.
 I should have been adamant had I withheld from him a word of sympathet- ic commiseration.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
A Reminiscence of Cocratey.

"A reconnaissance or CocraCeS.
 My first distinct recollection of the bril-. liant Athenian philosopher dates back tc a short while after his marriage to Kan. tippe. In fact, the pair had just returned from their honeymoon. The sage was taking an afternoon stroll about the Aero polls. and was deep in meditation when encountered him. Knowing him slightly, stopped to congratulate him upon his presumed felicity.
 Thank you," said Ihe, simply. 'It is very good of you"
 And your wife. I trust sne Is enjoy ing good health?" l put in.
 My what?" he asked, absently. My -, Oh, yes. Excuse me. didn't quite take in your remark. Yes. my wife is very well indeed. find it difficult to re- ealize that she Is my wife. you know" he added. in apology for his preoccupa- ton.
 That is natural. my dear Socrates" I laughed. "She has been your wife so short a time, you quite naturally think of her as still your fancee"
 No. 1t is not that" said Socrates, frankly. "Xantlppe's behavior is such that find it difficult to realize that she is not my mother-fn-law"
 And with a deep sigh the philosopher passed on.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
THE DOCTORS STORY:


 ''Warner's Safe Cure was first called to my attention a number of years ago by a patient of mine, Mir. J. A. Noble a promi- nent miller of Williamsport, Pa, where I was then practicing He told me that no other medicine helped him so much as Warmers, and after studying his case advised him to keep on taking 1t. He had been suffering from Chronic Diabetes for thirty years. It was the family doctor and watched the effect of Warmers caro- fully and became convinced of It's great value. MT. Noble lived to be 76 years of age, which in itself speaks highly of the virtues of Warmers.
 Since that time have used Safe Cure with most beneficial results. From the experience of practice stretching over 22 years. have no hesitation in stating that Safe Cure Is the most valuable sps- cilc for Brights Disease, Diabetes and all forms of acute and chronic kidney disease. prescribe 1t myself and am glad to add my endorsement to that of my brother physicians who are commend ing it.'' Frank NJ. Sisson. M D.,
 Lyons N Y More suffering and deaths result from affections of the kidneys than from all other diseases. and principally because they are not discovered In time
 Kidney disease works along slowly and steadily, and often gets firm hold in the system long before you even suspect ii. your condition you should at once
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
The Eortitude of Lot.

The Eortitude of Lot.
 We have heard a great deal about the meekness of Moses and the patience Of Job (writes Father Time in some of the earlier pages of his Personal Recoiiec- tions), and truly both these worthies were entitled to all the praise they received for those qualities. They indeed possess ed them to an eminent degree, but their greatness in that especial regard should not blind us to the almost equally con- spicuous grandness of character of Lot poor old William J. Lot, who in the fall of Sodom and Gomorrah sustained losses which would have driven most men to despair. Not only was Lot driven from his home and fireside, but all the many little enterprises with which his name was associated and in which his fortunes were involved were brought to instant ruin, and yet no murmurs of complaint ever issued from his lips, and in 0le flight when the overwhelming curiosity of Mrs. Lot brought disaster upon his home once more he betrayed nothing but a spirit of the most gentle resignation At his side at the time, I know whereof speak, and shall never forget the sad smile that crossed his countenance when the realization of the fate that had over taken Mrs. Lot dawned upon his mind.
 Great Time!" he cried. What an ex- traordinary thing! Mrs. Lot has turned into rilar of saltr'
 ''So it would secm." said I, offering my hand in sympathy. But what did you expect she'd turn into?' added.
 Why, judging from her disposition" he replied, the tears coursing down his cheeks. T should havc supposed she would turn into a bottle of Tabasco sauce."
 It is not many men who can thus bear up in moments of supreme trial and pre- sent smiling front to diversity.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
TEST YOUR KIDNEYS AT HOME

particles float about in it. or it is the ieas, terly unable to carry the waste matter q without treatment, uric acid will clog inc causing serious complications and death
 If you have pains in the back uric ings gout. gravel. diabetes. BrIghI's dis or, if a woman bearing down sensation. called female weakness. your kidneys ha outward symptoms seldom show themsel long time.
 There's not minute to be lost-gct glst's. It will relieve you at once and
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
Not Fatal.
No Matter What Doc. tors Say--We Know That Heart 'Trosx- b1e in M any Cases Can Be {
 Cured.

There are seven main features e heart disease, viz: Q) Weakness nR Debility; @ Rheumatism or Neuralsiak Y) vaivular Disorder; (l) Dzle<lons 6) Enlargement; (s) Fatty Degensra~ ton; CD Dropsy.
 Documentary evidence win pfcg8 thousands of so-ealied ''fncufsbles's have been absolutely cured by Dr. MIle4 New Heart Cure.
 Patients often have no Idea their Gis~ ease is heart trouble. but ascribe ik tn Indigestion. Liver Complaint, etc.
 Here are some of the symptomsy shortness of breath after exercise. smothering Spells. Pain in Chest, Ief1 Shoulder and arm. Discomfort in Lyfne on one side. Painting Spells. Nervous Cough. Swelling of Feet and Ankles. Paieness of Face and Lips. PaIpitation- Nightmare. Irregular Pulse.
 q have great faith in Dr. ffIss New Heart Cure. and speak of its merits whenever opportunity presents. can now go up and down stairs with ease. where three weeks ago could hardly am stili in good health; the Heart Cure did so much for me, that find tt q lar to be.-S: D: YOUNG. D. D.. es7 North Money back if first bottle fails to benefit.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13
Edited by John Kendrick Bangs.

Edited by John Kendrick Bangs.
 In response to six thousand two hun dred and twenty-eight requests to per- init the publication of further extracts from the manuscript of Father Time. left recently in my care, and in open de- fance of two suggestions that If the first instalment printed last week is fair sample of the rest of the book would better make a bonfire of the whole bus iness, the following paragraphs from the Personal Recollections are here pub Mshed.-Ed.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

There Is only one Wizard oil = HaInIins - name blown in the bottle. Signature "Hamlin Bros. on wrapper. Take no substitute. 5Oc. and $1.OO.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

EnEr Write us and we win man E 6EzG you a Free Trial packaEe o< pr. MIIess AntI.Pain PiiIs, the New. tom Blank for our speciaiist to diaSnoss your case and tell you what ig Wrurn and how to right, #, Apsolgts!y TTe@
 Address; DR; AtLTSv 1sS vM MEl4Sn p4s 4ss,S ,SSshs
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

Let some morning urine stand 24 hours; If reddish-brown sediment forms or II cloudy or smoky. your kidneys are ut ut of the body and if allowed to run on
 blood and poison the whole system in convulsions
 acid poison. rheumatic pains and swell ease, inflammation of the bladder and
 urinate, eczema, jaundice. torpid liver; fainting spells. painful periods or so- We been seriously affected for months as Yes until the disease has been working 6o-cent bottle of Safe Cure at your drug eHect a perma nent ctire
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

1varneTs sta C@a ts n~.0n |S ." NHDNET DISEASE. Sate % absolutely all diseases kdneys
  -o7'OS of herbs.
  years SS all GIg stores of direc a o'pS o Worthe apdve willie bowels eenlya Warmers
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-13

Many long weary days and sleepless nights have been filled with agony because of one of the above mentioned complaints. Itis unnecessary to suffer from them.
The Beaumont enterprise. [volume] (Beaumont, Tex.) 1904-current, 1904-09-29
,Jumped Four Bars.

At q recent musical festival in a
Southern city a local chorus was to
take part with the Chicago orchestra
directed by Theodore Thomas. One
number had an orchestral prelude,
the chorus to come in at certain
phrase Four bars before the cue
note was one somewhat similar, and
when that was reached the chorus,
being possibly overweight, or seized
by some panic mania for laundering,
promptly come in-four bars ahead OF
the proper place. A frightful discord
arose and the manager standing in
the wings literally tore his hair. The
whole performance seemed falling
about his ears in hopeless ruin. But
the next moment he found to his
amazement no more discord, but or
chestra and chorus moving along 50
amicably that only those familiar with
the score suspected the imminent ship
wreck. So to tho end it went, smooth
~ and perfectly. When it was over,
big.eyed and still hopping mis- brow,
the manager sought Mr.. Thomas.
Say" he gasped, Il wish you would
tell me how You did that?"
"Oh," said Mr.. Thomas easily, Il
just jumped the orchestra ahead four
bars: that was ALL" But no one yet
knows how.-Theodore Thomas, Ev-
crybody's Magazine.
The Beaumont enterprise. [volume] (Beaumont, Tex.) 1904-current, 1904-09-29
Loss in Overtime Wheat,

In 1879, Dr. h. C. kedzie, in an ex-
haustive study of the ripening of
wheat, pointed out that there was a
slight loss in weight between com
plete ripeness and the stage generally
designated as dead ripe. Subsequent
experiment at this college and else
where have given like results. There
is not only a loss by Smelling when
the grain becomes over-ripe, but a
given number of well dried kernels,
or the product of a given area, kept
in the ordinary manner, will weigh
less If taken from an ovor-ripc field
than if taken from a field cut at the
proper time. Moreover, the amount
and quality of the flour produced ami
the terminating vigor OF the grain
itself are less If the wheat is allowed
to become oyer-ripe than If cut at an
early period. These facts arc now
well recognized by farmers. and oidi.
nary practice is regulated by this
knowledge. The loss In Smelling Is un-
doubtedly the most important one. and
fortunately it car be controlled in a
large measure by a proper selection 1i
varieties combined with harvesting
al the proper seas0H.-Michigan STA.
ton.
The Beaumont enterprise. [volume] (Beaumont, Tex.) 1904-current, 1904-09-29
BoSToN'S viLLAGE-LIkE WAYS.
Simple Pastoral Life There as New
York Woman Saw II.

York Woman Saw It.
"Yes, I've been to the country
said New York girl whip keeps her
eyes open. 1--WE been to Boston /
stayed there two weeks, and my head
las been in a whirl since ! got BACK
to New York. with all the clatter and
rush there is here even at this duli
time.
I'm Boston the finest shops are
filled with bareheaded women shop
pers. They're not women OF the
poorar classes, either, but well
dressed matrons and stunning looking
maids.
"In Boston neighbors call to one
another from stoop to stoop over
their after-dinner coffee. There, too
children visit from house to house
for all the world as they do In coun-
try towns. Neighbors borrow each
Others newspapers, to say nothing OF
magazines and books, and they US
che another's telephones. They are
not above taking a neighbor's dog Tor
an automobile ride. and the way the
women take their own parcels home
alter a shopping bout is enough 70
make a New York sisters eyes open
For all their cold culture they beat
ali for asking questions Il stranger.
quite as villagers are supposed TO do.
ITS fine 20 90 there once IN
great while when one wants 10 re
turn 20 simple country life. but fcf
every day living purposes New hOrt
suits me.--New York sun.
The Beaumont enterprise. [volume] (Beaumont, Tex.) 1904-current, 1904-09-29
Boston Won Both.
Y. N. c. a. FOOTBALL.
Team viii Play Saturday Afternoon
at Driving Park.

Team viii Play Saturday Afternoon
at Driving Park.
The Y. NJ, G. A, football team will
MAY again Saturday afternoon At 4
o'clock at the Driving Park. They will
play fifteen minute half against the
scrub eleven and the same length Of
time against the Phillips Academy
team and expect to run mp big score
against both teams. The Association
team has challenged the Houston HIh
School team for game here on the
Sth day of October and the strength
| OF the team will he demonstrated at
that lime. On the 18th of October
, they will meet the strong team of the
81. Edwards College Of Austin. here,
and this will he game worth win
ming. and IL successful will stamp the
Y. NJ. G.. a. team as one of the best
IN the state The game Saturday will
he entirely free and everybody Is In
vited To witness the game. The coll
Crs OF the team are maize and blue,
Icing the famous Michigan colors and
ID is expected that large number of
lHt ldll SiN VIII W. plNa'H' anu "N'i
the colors. Coach Bourque and Capt
Geo. Adams have had numerous con-
situations lately and are well pleased
al the outlook for n winning team
The first team for Saturday has prac-
tlcally been made up hut will not he
announced as yet. This will be-the
opportunity for the scrubs, as. the men
who do tile best playing in this game
will make the regular Association
team.
A strong effort will be made? to
bring the Baylor University here for
a THANKSGIVING game and this would
without doubt be n strong drawing
card, and should the home team be
fortunate enough TO win from them,
there would be no trouble about get
ting games with the leading teams of
this state and ncighbOring ones.
The Beaumont enterprise. [volume] (Beaumont, Tex.) 1904-current, 1904-09-29
A Mans Woman.
She is not sweet. the woman that

She is not sweet. the woman that
love.
Nor Is she fair.
Nor wise in any lore of books can tell.
And yet she knows the secret Of a
spell
From feet to hair
All. no, not wise. the woman that
love.
She is not fair. the woman that love
Nor Is she wise, ..,
Nor sweet. and yet she speaks from feet
20 hair. ...H '....'. .'...
with turn Of waist or throat, and / am
there,
Held I'm her eyes,
All. no, not fair the woman that
love. .R .,. Ii
She Is not WISE the woman that love,
Nor is she sweet.
Nor fair. The spell she weaves. Is II
Of sense?
tbs underlined and subtle. yet intense
Flame. without heat
An, no. not sweet, the woman that
love.
Nor fair, nor sweet, nor wise is she
love.
Beyond n name.
Incarnate mystery Of negatives
Tnsoived unsolvable: "A spell that lives:
Elusive flame,
That which she IL. the woman that
love.
old English Poem.
The Beaumont enterprise. [volume] (Beaumont, Tex.) 1904-current, 1904-09-29
Spelt (Triticum Spelta).

Spelt Is q cereal which in appear
ance is intermediate between wheat
and barley, but, in reality is one of
the types into which wheat is d.
vided. 1t is a native of the countries
near the Mediterranean sea. At the
present time it is grown principally on
the poorer soils in Switzerland, south
ern Germany and northern Spain. 1t
is also grown at an elevation in Swift
zerland where the common wheat
(Triticum vulgare) will not thrive.
For general cultivation is is consid-
cred much inferior to the finer varie-
ties of wheat. The head is open, mar
row, beaded or bald, and is usually
very long. When the grain is throshed
the head breaks into pieces at the diff
ferent joints, or nodes, leaving the
grain still clasped firmly by the chaff
In order to make separation of the
chaff from the seed, special machinery
is required. The grain is medium
hard, and somewhat compressed at
the sides. The grain in Ontario fire.
Quently called Spelt belongs to the
Emmer class, and is, therefore, I'M
properly named. To find out the
value of Spelt for growing in Ontario,
we have imported at different times
no less than ten varieties from Swift
zerland, Russia, Germany, the Argen-
tine Republic and the United States.
Two of these varieties proved entire
failures, two others gave poor results,
and the other six varieties yielIed
moderately well. AS the grain is en-
closed by chaff somewhat similar to
oats, and weighs less than 40 pounds
per measured bushel, the results hero
presented are given in pounds, in
stead of bushels of grain per acre.
I One of the best varieties of Spclt has
now been grown in the experimental
plots for five years, and has given an
average yield Of 1,623 pounds of grain
per acre.-Ontario Station.