The Hawaiian gazette., 1904-06-28
(From Sundays Advertiser)

v
Well. well! Better things are coming
from Hilo, surely. The towns awake
enough to kick again and 1t is Kicking
hard over the Volcano trip story in
the Sunday Advertiser. And 1t has
been so quick about It, too. The story
appeared in the Advertiser IN June
9Th, 1t was read in Hilo on the TIA and
the papers there got reused up to the
point of criticism by the 23d and AN.
That Is mighty good time for Hilo as
nothing was expected from 1t about
the Volcano article until after the
Fourth. What makes the thing more
interesting Is that the papers actually
let the spirit of enterprise so work upon
them as to discover that the editor of
the Advertiser would have stayed long
er in the Bedchamber City but for
threats of bodily violence by Judge
Little. Ordinarily such a discovery as
that ought not to have been made by
the Tribune, at least. before the first
of next April. But here is the evidenc e
of Hilos sudden awakening into anger
and grief:
THE PASSING OF SMITH.
The Tribune must apologize to lis
readers for it's failure to chronicle last
week either the arrival or departure
of Walter Giffard Smith, who made a
hurried trip to the volcano to be i'm
mune from legal summons in Honolu
lu. The passing Of Smith ordinarily
is not such q momentus event as to at
tract attention but this particular
Smith was the lugubrious editor Of the
Honolulu Advertiser, seeking safely
from justice and recuperation for his
tagged brain. He brought his editorial
hammer with him, as a verbose and
we'll padded interview with himself IN
Sundays pictorial edition of the Ad-
vertiser attests. The editor like his
paper often departs from the high NOR
al plane of truth to revel in the lower
levels of newspaper fiction. This ir
newspaperdom is known as "stufline
the public" and no one has learned the
art better than Walter Cuff.
He relates such time-worn anecdotes
as horse falling down in Hilo's streets
to "pur itself to sleep" and that h
never saw a Hawaiian in Hilo doing
anything except falling off a house top
He berates the lack of hotel acconmo.
dations in Hilo and complains of The
service of the local cafe. He finds IA Ill
because Hilo has no street cars ant
uses telephone system which op"rate'
with bell. He likens the people t,
Ephesans and to the dwarfs wher,
Rip Van Wrinkle went to sleep. The
-t1 i .l,+
Hilo's inhabitants have undeservedls
earned the reputation of "kickers' ant
that there are no mosquitoes in )ul
beautiful burg.
He strikes the silver lining from thu
| cloud however, by facetiously remark
ing that the mosquito must have becI
asleep. but candor compells us to rec
ord that there was such rapidity ii
Editor Smiths movements to escap,
the wrath of an athletic and vengefJ
curae, that even the caterer and mos
quito had not time to present theil
bills.
We fain would hide our shame an:
modification in the ruthless eXposur,
of our simple life, and in the first blush
of our-affliction and under the stupe
flying sense that follows a great blow
we cannot appraise, as accurately n.
we should like, the misfortune tina
has befallen us. In a dim and gropini
way we realize We have lost a pudding
in our neglect of Editor Cuff, but W,
are too wretched to remember whethe
it was made of plums or suet.
Historical verify prompts us to cor
rect the illustrious wielder of the quill
in his misconception of the solitude o
| Ephesus, to which he compares tn,
peaceful quiet of Hilo's thorougfares
A better study of mythology and an
cient history would have convinced thi
literary adventurer that the history o
Ephesus consists of a long series o
bloody struggles in which no editor tool
part. Guffard's exit from the threaten
| ing scenes in which he found himsel
! in Hllo was a living lesson of tina
adage that He who runs away, ma,
live to fight another day" When frs
the news came to his anxious ears tina
Little the Lusty was looking for hi
voluminous form and threatened to licl
any man of the size of Smith in Hilo
| the erstwhile statesman and com
mencement day orator caught up hl
inkwell and pen and skurried hence I,
the volcano, where his unwonted ex
element stlll possessed him and gave
him cruel fall from a docie mule
spralning his ankle as well as hli
yeraclty, Thus doth Walter Gun re-
new his courage upon his return Il
the safer precincts OF Honolulu ana n
witty vein strive 10 win the admira
tion and plaudits Of his generation
| Tribune,
WHEN SMITH MEETS SMITH
10 mo Hiit1r NJ Tribune. illlo wal
recently AFFLICTED fnr ltH sims hy mo ar
HFM pf WHlirr il smith, ihai uihr
fhnp worm spalWHn uf ihr E.nuH hUrk
editor nhH Wn.iH mr should Wur aHl