Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1904-01-05

9
fuliy)-Oh, guess so. But we may
have to get you naturalized first
\ Bazaar.
It's distinction: City man--How shall
know which house it is? Suburbanite
You'll be able to tell easily enough.
It's the only one In the neighborhood
that hasn't For Sale sign ON it,
Puck.
Actor-Hurry, or Wen miss the
train. Actress can't find nv dia-
monds or my purse. Actor-oh. we'll
never mind. Actress-Yes, but the
purse ha6 ten dollars in it.-New York
Weekly.
The schedule: Newcastle-was there
any romance connected with your en-
gagement? Observation-Disclosures l
! proposed to her at S:45 and she ac-
cepted me precisely at 9:15-Detroit
Free Press.
But why did you not send for the
, doctor next door when you became
suddenly illl" asked his friend "You
forget" answered the sufferer, that
have been learning to play the cornet
recently. Puck
A good point: He-There is one
thing in particular 1 like about spin
sters. She-What is that? He-They
never bore fellow by telling him how
they used TO do this and that before he
was born.-Tit-B
George, did you know that 1 was
going to marry your sister," "Well,
heard her say so, but she's had that
idea about so many other fellows that
didn't feel sure about it till you told
me. Brooklyn Life.
"Say "a" queried little Billy Bloc
| bumper, whats an echo?" IAN echo,
my son." replied the old man, with a
sigh long drawn out lis the only thing
that can him-fiam a woman out of the
last word.-The Tyre.
A beautiful romance headed of:
You don't mean to tell me you rescu-
ed young lady from drowning and
didn't even stop TO learn her namev'
That's what l did. My wife was
there when l got the girl ashore
TX.
Fuddy-Aren't you going to take any
notice of the libelous charges that
have been circulated about you?"
Duddy-Not on your life. If I did
they might come to the knowledge of
somebody who had not heard them
Boston Transcript.
An incidental revenge: did your
son really elope?" "Yes and it's such
a blow. But there's one thing about
it that brings me little consolation"
whats that?" "He eloped with that
odious Mrs. SINNERS hired girl
Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
Courtroom effects The lawyer-Of
course my dear madam! The great
thing in a case of this sort is to in
| troduce something into the evidence
that will appeal to the jury. The lady
| oh! 1 shall change my costume
every day Brooklyn Life.
THAT woman's boss of the ward all
right" said the first repeater. in the
days of female suffrage, "and she's
regular terror. amt she?" That's
whatw replied the other; II wanted So
for my vote, and she wouldn't gimme
moren $19S Philadelphia Press.
at was careless of me to say that
l admired Bacon" remarked the young
woman with glasses. Did you offend
some Shakespearean STUDENT mo.
1t was a Chicago pork-packer He
frigidly remarked that he didn't care
to talk shop Washington Star.
Life preserver: Pat-Oi say, Moike,
PLAT do yez call that big round thing
on Their back of that auto billy? Mike
-Shure, an that's an ixtry toire, IL
wan should burst, yez haythen Pat
Begorra, an OF fought II war loife
preserver!-P Philadelphia Telegraph.
A Journalist sat for many weary
minutes in the waiting room of one OF
our medical celebrities. His patience
at an end, he called the servant and
said: "My man, just go In and tell your
master that If / am not admitted in
five minutes | shall be well again
Elk.
wait a second" she said, as she
stepped into the store. Certainly" he
replied, and when he had been uptown.
looked through his mail, spent two
hours on Change, and taken luncheon
at the club, he returned and found her
lust emerging from the door.-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune.
Time up to date: Il have been
thinking" said Father Time, 'of aban-
doning the scythe as an emblem"
abandoning the scythe" said the
goddess Aurora, who is always on
hand early to greet the old gentleman.
Eyes. Don't you think an alarm clock
would be more OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
Did you hear about the game work
cd on Harker in the skyscraper this
morning? Some sleek chap walked in
and told Harker If he'd give him an
umbrella he'd go up to the roof and
ome down holding on to the handle"
Did he" Eyes; he came down in the
elevator, and / guess he's holding on
to the hacdle yet"-Philadelphia Rec
ord
Mrs Hayfork dn country postoffice)
ANYTHING for me? Postmaster
don't see nothin'. Mrs Hayfork-l
was expectin' letter or postcard from
Aunt Spriggs, tellin' what day she was
comm. Rural postmaster calling his
wife)-Did you see postcard from
AIRS. Hayfork's Aunt Sally? His wife
Yes: she's comm on Thursday
Petoskey Tyre
Ancient Proofreading.
The editions Of books printed two
or three hundred years ago are almost