New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-16

NO'iN'N'N-
opinion that she is good for another hundred years
Her active days are probably over. however and
il is as a receiving ship at Newport that she VIII
still play an honora bic part in the American navy
to which she is inspiration.
GETTING INFORMATION OUT OF PA.
NV pa ne didn't go downtown,
Last evening after tea.
But got a book an settled do"h
I'll tell you was offul glad
To have my pa about
To answer all the things had
Been tryin TO find out
And so | asked him why the world
And why the piggies' tails are curled
And why the moon don't hit star
And why the dark is black
And Jest how many birds there are
And will the wind come back?
And why does water stay in wells
And why do June bugs hum
And T Wien tR Milf f9 tRris h9aF n 1ns
And Why the grass is always green
Instead OF sometimes blue?
And why "A bean will grow bean
And not apple too.
And why a horse can't learn to moo
M Ma DO WI" tFe f fG~ ii' 1--we on n' dew
And what makes hair grow Sray?
The odiu words he said.
hadn't done thing. but ne
Jest sent off to bed .,
A recent issue of The Cape Mercury contained
the following advertisement: Wanted, for Ger
man West Africa man to look after one horse,
tvco cows and three pigs. one who can impart the
rudiments of French. singing and the piano TO
children preferred.
Fnial sorrowThe late william ETsr is T Esa
in The United States Senate his wife and children
we're in their mountain home IN Vermont Dne
ing Of her rather and wishing that she could see
him. when donkey in c9nuguo4S a iI T and
b f wee most doefuIiy The child wiped few
ionesonle tears from her eyes and then called TO
he donkey: Never mind! Don't be lonesome Tor
pa pa will be homo Saturday evening -(CleVelahd
Plain Dealer.
FremantIe Western Australia, is a town with
some queer names. The Mayor is a Cadd. the chief
printer is Cant. contractor named Thick has
sued = local soup preserving company. and man
named Offspring Webb recently fined for
keeping an unlicensed dog.
THE FUTURE HYPNOTIC HOUSEHOLD.
IDr ouackenbos urges establishment Of insti-
ute Of hypnotsm saying me seher" PIe'''e Oh INV
science would be beneficial 70 ALL
Don't snap your fingers near my ma:
You'd change ham S, her sils into bH pa fro~n
And thinks tb shes gGbb her oT wh@re nG pa
or else there'li he an awful clash
And makes him give her all his cash.
The parlor's dark; pa went in there
And hypnotizeeCdi I'm, my sisters Ider,sre beau
lis getting late and must go"
MY sister-she got angry then;
Pa made her anger disappear
And now She thinks her beaus still here.
Pas went around all smiles to-day.
Last night bin COLLECTOR e came
he collector signed MS name
And gave pa the reCeipted bill.
You see: the other man obeyed
And thought at once the bill was paid.
7 lead nv classes at our school
ana nd them Siptf know aic'%e each word and rule
And all tho sums have 10 do
Don't snap Your fingers il you 60
Pas hynnotlzed the cook. and SO
-tChicago Tribune.
The Rhodes scholars at oxford are now adjusting
Themselves as best they to the new and in
MANY ways strange academic life of the oldest of
English universities. Owing to the wise conditions
Of the bequest there will be little opportunities for
them to cultivate Clannishness ~ney dis
tributed through the various colleges. and it Is
possible for one to go through the university with
out much or any acquaintance with the students
~ other colleges. The American students
wisely entering into the life of the various col
lepes in the English spirit in this way only
tho full advantages of oxford be obtained. Whether
the result will be what Cecil Rhodes hoped and
dreamed il would be II is yet too early to predict.
lint the expermeu, is one fun OF promise for the
growing friendship ana pe''el understanding De-
tween the two countries.
THE GRIP
What is ii fills the heart with woe,
And makes the spirits sink 50 low.
And ca1ses tears to freely flow?
The grip.
What is il fills the soul with dread,
And makes the nose and eyes grow red
And makes man wish he were dead?
The grip.
What Is IN gives man the chllls.
And calls for powders and Tor pills,
And runs up mighty doctors bills?
The grip.
What ia II curls a person = hair,
And Nils his think tank with despair,
And makes a saint desire To swear
The grip.
What makes the people sadly moan
And NOPE and humble srnnt ana srosn
The worst me world hars ever KNOWN?