West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-07-14
II They Fail No One Will Accept
the Nomination for Governor.

Inc Republican and Democratic
parties have been dividing honors
for the past week as to which could
raise the largest volume of dust.
The Democrats kicked up s, much
dust in st. Louis that they fairly
eclipsed the great Exposition itself.
They kept it up for several days
and from the reports sent us they
had the greatest show on earth. 1
had an mate hankering to attend
the show and learn some of the
political mysteries yet unsolved,
but the distance was too great for
one pair of shoes to cover. / am still
waging war on all railroads and
positively refuse to patronize the
cattle or cushion cars. In my
younger days | availed myself OF
the single and double deck cattle
cars when they CHANGED to be NOV
ing in the direction in which I was
travelling.
But getting back to the Demo
cratic st. Louis show. The bre-
thren seemed1o have considerable
trouble in setting the money ques-
ton, more SO than the selection of
candidates. am not surprised at
this, for it is the only question
which has ever limited my meal
tickets and disturbed my sleep.
All other questions have been Sec
ondary with me, even matrimony,
question, which at one time con.
sumed most of my leisure moments
in devising plans by which could
conceal my heart burnings for the
entire girldom- For some reason
or other the girls could never hide
their vaporifc longings for me to
extend To them an invitation to
change their maiden name and be
put in full control of my hashery.
My good friend Deacon Brown,
the only man with whom | have
ever discussed the matrimonial
question, AYERS that politics and
women are the two subjects which
caused him to leave the farm and
tranquility and enter the field of
journalism where he could explode
his defense of the subjects which
fingered nearest his heart. The
Deacon has never been worried
over the money question, and like
all good Democrats who contend
that all whiskey is good, the Deacon
declares that all money looks good
to him. have had a different ex-
perience with this socaIled money
question, and wheu the Democrats
IN St. Louis began to elevate their
voices in defense of the different
coins which are foting around pro-
miscuously and mysteriousiy during
a political campaign and the meet
ing of political convention, nv
mind drifted St. Louisward. / had
several friends in the convention
whom | knew would be sorely in
in need of my coin before they got
away FROM that convention and /
prayed earnestly that the volume
would be large and wander in the
direction of my friends. But it
missed them, as the last postal card
received states they are coming
home by easy stages and resting
quite frequently. / have trod the
path and know how to sympathize
with them. II it has settled the
money question With them they are
amply rewarded, otherwise there
will be squalls until after the Nov.
ember election.
As write this my Republican
friends are assembled in Wheeling
for the purpose Of discussing the
Tax Reform issue in brotherIy
way. II has been z disturbing ele
ment IN the Republican party ever
since Bros. White and Dawson
found II grouping along the banks
Of the Ksnawba and captured Il
and presented it to the party. At
first It appeared perfectly docile
and bid fair to extend the life of
the party indefinitely. Shortly az.
ter It was adopted as the party
Mascot CHANGED to be in Charles
ton and attended meeting Of the
faithful who had gathered ia re-
Spouse to a call issued by Bros.
White and Dawson. As long as
Bros. White and Dawson fondled il
until It showed no signs Of life in it.
but when Bros. Teter AM Dayton
began to caress ia, Il curled its back
and displayed its pearly teeth.
Many we're the suggestions AZ this
meeting that the Tax Reform mon
strosity be placed in some zoologi-
cal garden before It fastened its fangs
in the party and corrupt its morals.
But the less timid protested and