The Washington times., 1904-09-18

on the program for a Dissertation on
the Art of Place Hitting He was in
wrong. His speciality was pinch hitting,
which got him his name. L could have
told EN- Bible full O stuff about place
hitting. They sh'd have come to me for
that speech.
IF there ever was anybody that fol-
lers up baseball in this broad land that
believed that / WASH the greatest bat
ter for placing them that ever stood up
20 the plate his name wasn't Jim Stone
or Bill Wood Because why2 Because
Jim Stone an. Bill Wood got theirs
handed 10 EN- by me on the place-nittin'
trick in such fashion that the COrndrop-
pers League never got over tallIin'
about it, Why it's in black an white.
As Josh Says.
"As Josh HapgOod says in the
'Poetical History of the Corndroppers'
League page 2G1;
A bunch Of trees. a nest of bees,
The ball drops swiftly in II,
Left Fielder Stone, as he plucks II out,
Gets stung just sixty times a minute
THE why an wherefore o. all this
was because I had won the champion
ship for the Alfalfas two years hand
running by my terrific hOme-run
drives, an the other teams in the
leasVe We're sore. That was the year
that Tim McGinnis rung in the black
eagle that he trained TO hover over
left field an grab all my drives, an
field EN- back to third base, where I
the next day after il was started an
then the rest o. the schemers in the
league began casting around for some
thin that would do the eagles work.
Clever Fielders.
There's no denying that Jim Stone
an Bill Wood were clever fielders.
They could cover ground along with
the best in the business. had terrific
thrcwin' arms, both o EN-, an were
some on battin'. But their greatest
fame came from the fact that they were
brainy. They brought out the relay
throw in the Corndroppers'. When a
long drive would go out they'd act
quick as lightning. One would get the
ball in double quick; the other I'D run
out half way. The Teller that got the
bali would line it to the other, an he in
turn would line II 20 the plate. They
correctly fggered that two line throws
beat one long, high one, an that theory
is generally accepted You'll see their
relay throw used in every game played
in the big leagues. nowadays.
A Famous Pair.
jim Stone an Bill Wood were IA
nous. When the peopIe'd get up in
church an sing:
D." In vain. with lavish kindness,
The gifts of God are strewn;
The heather in his blindness
Bows down TO wood and stone
why. the boys'd grin an believe that
the Teller that wrote the hymnbook put
IL there on purpose as a compliment 70
the great OutfieldeTs. An then the story
got out that before Jim Stone an Bill
Wood came to Hayville they played in
town where the rooterS was heathens,
an that the song really was so; an
Hayville people didn't blame the cath
ems bit for bowin' down. So they ink
ed I'm a big w an a big S on the two
names an let il 20 at that
.'Wen. the year the eagle failed EN-.
as I told you. they determined TO stop
me winnin so many games. so they got
the Hayville management 20 push the
fence In their baseball park back four
or five hundred feet. maxim It a ply
steal impossibility for me 20 get the ball
over the fence An then they prac-
ticed Up their relay trick an declared
say. it looked that way. We were
TO play three games there, an in the
FIRST two I didn't get a single home run,
an We lost both games. The best /
could get was two-baggers. Wood an
stone would get out an throw in my
long liners so quick j couldn't get start
ed round the bags. An they'd get uu-
der an ketch my tOwerin' flies that
would aRone as lost balls an were
home runs on any other grounds
Things looked dubious, an the night
before the third game Josh Hapeood
came into my room after I'd retired 10
my more or less downy couch. as Reggie
says, an sat down on the foot o. the
bed. Pinch wasn't in yet.
A Conference.
Hag. says he 'what'H we dor
" 'Do2' say l. What kin we do2
" Yes says he. that's what I want
TO know
" I give il up says ]. You tell me-
No. / asked you first says he.
You tell me
THAT little bit O. random converse
tionll show the gentle reader o. this
how far we was from the plate. We
were away of, The pennant looked sure
gone III We couldn't beat the Hayviiles
an everything seemed gloomy.
Just then there came quick step
up the hall an Pinch Hobbs walked IN
ii was in one o his frances. He didn't
notice me in bed. with the light at M
elbow an book 20 read an a bottle o.
beer an two cigars under the piller out
o. JOsh's sight, ne didn't notice Josh
who ne sh.d a 'slooted; he didn't notice
nothin., but just walked to his bureau
drawer an pulled out a queer loOkin'
contrivance made O steel an with a
fat bottom an a steel rod straight Up
on one end an a little thing to look
through on top o. that When he had
that in his hands he looked for me an
seemed 70 come 20 life.
Flat Trajectory Needed.
IIaE.' says he, II you got a fat
trajectory itll be all right
go Got fat what? says me an Josh
in one breath.
" Trajectory says Pinch, very dieni-
heo. I-r-a-J -e-c-t-O-r-y. You got TO
have a fiat one or you can't beat these
here HaYvilles tomorrow
81 Fiat trajectory be dinged' saws
Josh. emphatic. Hobbs. 7 think YOU got
fat wheel. Explain yer dummed ira
Jects an 80 on before We begin to git
WOODY an the COLLINS git YOU
-" Yes. says /. pautin' with anxiety 10
at IN "A word. Tell me quick Pinch
FOR gosh sake. about this here dat
thing Does 10 hurt?'
pinch sat down an put the steel con-
trivancc on his lap an threw I'd his
hands.
Such a pair O ninny hammers
never see, says he. Here I am irwin
10 explain rat tra1ectories an such 10
this pair o. nat heads when I'd ought to
b. DRAWN big money from Uncle Sam
lNoSssS. III tell you what I've dis