The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-05-11
Wonderful Results
OF Bad Management
Strange Tale From Philadelphia of How
Things Happened TO the Washington
Team---GreateSt Joke Yet.

tors fingered Bill asked the clerk To
place the bundle in the safe. He die
so, but was unable. TO close the safe
The Coughlin pay day was too strong
for the safe, so he checked the bundle
in the parcel room and got a small
brass tag. He then weighed himself 81
a patent machine and dropped the cneck
into the slot b. mistake.
1t cost Bill 81 to send for an expert
and recover the key 10 his fortune
Rather than take any mere chances
the unhappy athlete checked the money
through to Washington and tried 20 for
GET -
When the trading fever broke out Bill
asked that ne be exchanged for secret
cave in the mountains, where he might
sit with his wealth and brood in peace
Mr.. Dwyer said Bill was too valuable &c
trade. He liked the third baseman, and
that Is why he gave him so much
money.
KittIedge Also in Favor.
Mr.. Dwyer also was good to Kittredge
On the same train leaving Washington
he paid the little catcher $500, mostly
in dimes and nickels, so Malachi said.
He carried this load in his pockets until
he sprained an ankle, and that was the
beginning Of MalachPs troubles.
Because OF this lameness Kittredge
missed the train out OF New York by six
inches. With a hook he could have
caught the rear platform at that. but
he was too lame, and, besides. the curse
Of wealth held him back. From this
mishap grew the complications which
led to the attempted suspension of the
cOin-laden catcher
Nobody knows how much salary Cas-
sidy gets. Mr.. Dwyer dumped into his
lap nine-Dound package done up IN
coarse brown paper and tied with tarred
string. The package ratified slightly
I - -
he didn't order any nails. de then cut
the string and disclosed a vast hoard
of riches in silver, pennies and the few
one-dOllar bills Coughlin didn't get.
Burdened with this array of hardware.
Mr.. Cassidy became nervous and irrit-
able and couldn't play the game OF his
lie.
Thus did Mr.. Dwyer pass through the
train dispensing largess to the poor. All
hands got paid off, but it would take too
long 10 tell in what shape or what they
did with the money.
Manager Trades Himself.
About the queerest tangle of the whole
mess hinges around Kattredge. After
missing the train in New York the en-
terprising Malachi IS manager of the
Senator's, traded himself 10 Griffith.
Thereupon Mr.. DVgyer suspended the
catcher. but as manager of the team
telegraphed johnson, and had himself
reinsJated. Rather than lose out en-
tirely Mr.. Dwyer suspended Howard
Wilson for having a sore arm.
Prior to tackling the Senators Mr..
Dwyer was a theatrical man. He told
the players he had handled companies
OF highly-strung and emotional actresses,
and would show them how TO swing a
ball team around the circuit According
TO the players this was the real motive
Of the New York trade. Mr. Dwyer
wanted TO give a daily minstrel parade
with a band composed of his own team.
Now, Kittredge and Setback are not
familiar with musical instruments. while
Anderson is an expert on the bass drum,
and Beville plays the piccolo. Coughlin
is snare drummer. Barry Mccormick
handles the clarinet, and the rest are
proficient in music The idea was 10
wear linen busters, with FUR collars on
them. and dash musically around the
streets an hour before the game. We
fear this scheme is knocked in the head
by the loss of Anderson and Beville.
What will happen al y Washington can
only be guessed It is said the indig-
nant populace hold nightly mass meet
ings on the campus, demanding the
resignation OF Mr.. Dwyer. Prominent
citizens address the people from nIumi-
mated trucks. backed up to the campus,
and the eXcitment lasts far into the
evening. Patsy Donovan and his base
ball brains may soon square thing IN
that town. Hope 50.