Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1904-01-15
H%NGksHES
As2IIeEEus
Wy
"NNNNNNN0N~

aNu d iool ana ner money are soon we'd
ded.-Yonkers Statesman.
Does your daughters husband love
her as devotedly as ever?" He does
"hen I'm around" replied her dauyh.
ters husbands mother-in-law, grimly.
Houston Post.
Fond Mother-My darling, it is bed.
time. All the little chickens have gone
10 ped. Little Philosopher-Yes, man.
ma II SO has the old hen.-Woman's
Home Companion.
ANXIOUS Mother-Willie, dear, do you
ever have any trouble with the other
little boys at school? Willie-Naw! l
lick n Of 'em every once in a while.
but that amt the least bit Of trouble
Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. A.-Your husband smoking
again! Why, l thought you insisted
that he should give 1t up. Mrs. I'll
did, dear, but then l found such q pref
ty smOking-jacket at a bargain SALE
Chicago Daily News.
Helping His Wife. Wife, have
been thinking l ought to give you a
birthday present, Howard. Husband
oh, very well Just write down what
1t shall be, and I'll buy it on my way
uptown.-Town Topics.
Friend-Now that you have made
millions, what will you do? Old Bull
lion-l shall retire, and amuse myself
telling pepople what a burden wealth
is, and how happy I was when 1 was
popr.-New York Weekly.
After the Wedding: But they told
me you had money" "And they bun,
coed me into thinking you were rich
well, what's to be done about it?'
Lets fall in love just for spite."-Cin
cinnatl Commercial Tribune.
do you believe that the American
people like to be humbugged?" "No,
/, sir" answered the sturdy patriot
, "but when they find anyone smart
enough to do it they can't help takin
: off their hats to him ."-Washingto1
+ Star.
/ Beyond Expectation: MI. Jones-Set
7 here! This horse you sold me uns VI
| on the sidewalk every time he sees al
r auto. Horse Dealer-Well, you dom
3 expect a f%ifty-dollar horse to run up
t telegraph pole or climb a tree, do you
Judge.
> "Do you believe that every man ha'
. his price?" 81 won't discuss that" an
!, swered Senator Sorghum, but l will
. say that the reason some men sta.
. honest is because the price asked i
' so much higher than the price bid
=, Washington Star.
Girl in the Grand Stand-Isn't tina
a cruel game? Do you think it's fai
for a dozen men to pile themselves Of
top of the poor fellow that has tn
e ball? Her Escort-No; there oughtn'
e to be more than eleven Of them, any
Y way.-Chicago Tribune.
Information: Hello" said tn
~neighborly bore, "what are you build
ing the new chicken house for?
why" replied Nettles, "for a flock o
n pink carmels, of curse. You didn'
/ suppose I'd put chickens in 1t, di'
youY"-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Weren't you nervous at the wee
It ding" asked the sympathetic chat
with all those people looking at you?
81 nervous?" repeated the recent bene
dict. "Why should l be nervous? NJ
it body looked at me; l was only tn
Is groom, you know."-Cincinnati Times
d Star.
y In Kentucky: Ascum-I don't kno'
% whether your head over the articl
Re about Colonel Lushman's death wa
le printed the way you intended, but
was a good one. City Editor-Let m
see. What was it? Ascum-Ha
fought his last bottle.-Philadelphl
i Press.
~ Citiman-What's the matter with a
o. Won Lonesomehunters? Newcomb's
decent sort Of a fellow, and yet you a
: appear to hate him. Suburbs-No VOL
derl He went and bought his wife
sealskin coat last week, and our home
are no longer peaceful.-Philadelphl
Press.
mamma. what is Topsy's 9th
Il nameY" "Topsy in the play? l don
know, dear; just Topsy, that's all
"Oh. she has another name. l cal
mana speak It yesterday, but l can
,bink Of It now. Oh, yes, l rememb'
Its Topsy Turvey!'-kansas VI
Journal.
y How did you like DR.. Fourth
last Sunday morning?' asked Mrs. Oh
castle: "don't you think he indulge
rather freely in mixed metaphor
Goodness! 1 didn't notice. DID !