The San Francisco call., 1904-03-14
INSTRUCTIVE CTUDHnC
By lN!OIEDAf.flEllN AND
<sS)N1ElN


It not be claimed that in so far as home
discipline tends TO this it is good in so
far rs il falls below this it is bad?
Taking this, then, as the starting point,
hoH many instances Of proper home
training can you number? The discip-
line that is punitive or coerciye is not
rare, but is worthless in the higher
sense. Unless one does right without
being forced into it he is gaining moth
ing in himself, though, perhaps, for the
family. as later for the world itself,
forced goodness may be better than
none at all. Yet IN considering the in
dlvidual himself that need not be
counted. In many families one finds
only this kind OF training. 1t shares
punishments and rewards with equal
lavishness and folly. 1t takes no ac-
count OF the spirit which moves one to
the act, yet il IS not the spirit Of the
doer which is Of greatest Importance.
Many a mother shows by her course
that she considers it worse TO break
a bit cf bric-a-brac than TO be mali
cious or untruthful, for she Furnishes
severely the unintentional breaking of
a dish, passes with small attention the
lie or unkindness. That is, she places
things above principles, the material
above the spiritual, the temporal above
the eternal Does this not seem TO be
q mistake? Are not the things which
count Tor character greater than those
which are superficial? Are not those
means which lead a child TO see right
for himself rather to be chosen than
those which punish him for what he
did not know?
The occultists define sin as ignorance,
therefore it should be the aim of those
who govern children to help them to
see wisely and thus avoid wrongdoing.
How far this is from the usual course
Of discipline you may learn in an hours
observation of parents and children.
Following a natural and proper desire
TO increase his knowledge, a boy IN
vestigates the working of a clock, to
the subsequent detriment of the article
concerned. His motive was as correct
as when he made the water mill for
which he was praised, but does he get
praise for tinkering with the clock?
Probably not. More likely he is greet
ed with You bad, wicked boy, tear
ing my clock to pieces. You are, the
most destructive child ever saw, and
shall let your father settle with you
when he gets home"
That reproof is a model Of all a good
disciplinarian would avoid, because il
treats what really was a commendable
motive as a wickedness. The only evil
was the disregard of the rights OF the
property of another, and that was
through ignorance which could be en-
hghtened by few just remarks.
Then to let your father settle with
you" is a confession Of weakness on the
mothers part. She should settle her
own accounts, for her own sake and
for the childs. He should not feel
that his mother is a moral weakling.
Had she talked with the boy, show
ing him that she appreciated the spirit
that had animated him and pointing
out to him why he should not have
taken another's property, even for the
sake of gaining knowledge, she would
have brought him to a condition Of
mind much more for his welfare.
Most people punish to relieve them
selves. They call it doing good TO the
child, but it is not. If a parent or
teacher can punish only when the Of
fense is fresh his punishment is use
( less, for it is merely a qualification of
his own need to let wrath. escape more
or less violently. One of the finest
disciplinarians had this rule for mis-
government: Never punish until the
! offense is a day old. Then justice dealt
and there was no personal irritation to
I lyasa he Of h.
The difficulty with home government
/ lies in the undisciplined nature of the
mothers. They cannot control them
selves; how then can they act with
+ justice toward their children? The
woman who snatches little child from
something it is interested in, saying
fIetfully, Why in the world don't you
let things alone?" is hardly prepared to
( teach that child patience and self-re-
straint
! A teacher who was unusually sue
cessful in getting hold of her pupils
/ was once greatly troubled by a boy
/ who made fiippant, impudent speeches.
She waited a while to find the reason
/ for these, and then she had talk with
/ him in private. She said: Ernest, you
/ have way of saying impertinent
/ things which is very disagreeable.
! think, however, you do it because you
! regard them as witty, and feel that the
smile that sometimes follows is of ap-
+ probation" He admitted that this was
! true. well, you are mistaken. Your
! classmates have spoken of this habit
OF yours as ignorance on your part,
and asked me to excuse it for the pres
ent" This presentation of the matter
cured him. The same method will prove
4 successful in many perplexing cases.
In the home the baby is laughed at
! and called cunning for doing the things
f that later he is punished for doing,
which is a puzzle to him, and also
1 shakes his faith in his parents. A good
/ gardener win not plant anything which
he will want later TO destroy. Neither
viii good disciplinarian. Prevention
Z is much easier than cure in dealing
with the faults OF children. Perhaps
! the greatest mistake conscientious par
ents make in dealing with children is
I in attaching too much weight to trifies,
and in emphasizing the wrong things.
/ The power Of suggestion is reason for
passing with small notice the faults one