Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-05-28
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order for that chop "Yessir. Bless
me, how YOU have grown
she says She is very fond Of mu-
Sic instrumental" Well it's in.
strumeu:al in making the neighbors
swear when she gets at the piano. -
Exchange.
Jinkins-llow is your son getting
along in his literary lahors? Jorkins
Oh. famousy. You should see how
gracefully he carries his pen behind
his ear.-BoSton Transcript
TonSorial Artist--Your hair seems
10 be coming out FreShman-Yes. it
is. Tonsorial Artist-Iried our hair
TonicE FreShman-Ses,h but that didn't
do 1t, though.--Nale Record
How hollow it sounds said pa
tient under The movement cure, rs the
physician WAS vigorously pounding his
chest, on, that's nothing said the
doctor; wait till we get Ia the head"
Alice tagged 5)--Mamma, my appe-
titc says it's time for dinner Mother
Well, dear, go and see whit the
clock says. Alice (some seconds later
The clock says my appetite is ten
minutes fast,
Husband What, A hundred dol
lars for IN opera cloak Why. il il
perfectly ridiculous. my dear. Wife
Yes, | know 1t is; hut You said YOU
couldn't afford an expensive onc.--Chi-
cago Daily News.
T"acncr - johnny, write an the
blackboard the sentence "rwo heads
are better than one Now, Johnny,
do you believe that? Johnny Nes'm.
Cause then You kin get job in
dime museum and make lots o
money
Al what agr do you consider wom-
CIT the most charming" asked the in
quisitivc female Of more or less un-
certain age. "At the age of the wom-
an who asks the question" answered
the man, WHO was diplomat.
Yorker.
IlowcS Don't like this cold wealth
er, eh? Why, only last summer you
We're complaining of the heat Barnes
Not of The heat itself. but rather he
cause of It's untimeIiness. 1t would I've
all right if reserved for such weather
as thls.--Boston Transcript
You may turn up your nose at me,
Martha Ann RillIwmk. but | want you
/ TO remember It's leap year, and Kit
/ GarIinghorn is trying to get me away
from YOU" well, I'll just show tho
/ freckIe-facrd thing she can't do that
George dear" Chicago Tribune
Father" said Kathic. chow much
/ does n quite small bottle Of ink COST"
You can get one for a penny an.
Swercd father. "A penny" exclaimed
/ kathie, IN great disgust And mum
mic made uu awful fuss when | upset
the littlcst bottle in the cupboard"
Aren't you ashamed OF your iudo-
/ lcnce Indeed. am" answered
/ Mcandcrihg Mike. i've been trying
/ to do something for IT," WHAT
I've been takln' de faith cure. I've
/ been chopin makc-believe wood Wit
Newitt-~Wcl. there's one thing
about the weather. It's always safe
topic OF conversation, Borr0ughs
thought it was to-day when / met
Lendham, but when ] started to speak
Of It he said. Yes. It's unsettled. aud
that reminds me Of that account Of
yours"
Dear" said the politicians wife,
there's Il handsome big policeman
whose beat embraces Mrs. Swelman's
house Can't you get him transferred
to this neighborhoudt" what fort"
demanded her husband Mrs Swell
man has an excellent coos aud want
her. Philadelphia Press.
The officers of British mau-o'-war
were entertaining thcir friends with Il
grand lunch and in attendance were
some typical British tars 4 young
lady, wanting piece OF bread looked
behind her chair AT one OF the sailors
in waiting. ana asked him 90 bring her
what she wanted But he drew him
self up, stiff and stern, and, 10 her
amaZement. replied, Cant do it. miss;
I'm told OF for taturs"
An Tpto-Datc Village DO you
nave a good lecture course here during
be winter" WAS asked Of the manager
If the lllgginsyillc Lyccum. Indeed
we dO," he answered; and next season
wc expect to Guido all previous records.
50 far we have booked one ransomed
missionary, ono reformed gambler one
roupc of trained animals, one convert
d heather, one moving picture ma
'ltiue and one professional pcrSonator.
We may take on college professor who
wants TO speak about the tendency Of
modern literary thought but / don't
snow. It's pretty hard to keep the
curse Oh the same high plane of
hought throughout Judge.
The other Side of the story: Sin
Ilct0n What's the trouble, old man;
sou look all broke up. Wederiy-You
would doubtless look broke up. too. IL
you had mothcr-ln-law ike mine.
II,