davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22

trious Californian once christened that
paper The boughten Bulletin," and
considering the results of its labors in
politics for many years, he might with
equal felicity have named it "the
beaten Bulletin." Mr.. Hearst need
have no further concern about his
nomination, the opposition of the
Bulletin insures at once the righteous
ness of his cause and the certainty OF
his success.
In fair, peaceful City of the Dead,
called Oakwood, in Denison City,
Texas, meath the forest trees of that
quiet retreat, where the earliest vio-
lets blossom, and the wild birds build
their nests, is something that appeals
at once to our sense of humor and the
pathetic. A lot there is enclosed by q
railing made of lightning rods. We
have read that "there is nothing new
under the sum-" but there seems to be.
We may have coffins made OF asbestos
and inter patent fire cxtinguishers
with our dead, if the past is to be
trusted as guide to future achieve
ments.
A Sky Pilot name OF Hill in Texas
has already won laurels in journalistic
fields, having published number of
pamphlets, and book "Texas Char
acter and Else" under the nom de
plume Gulliver." Poor Gulliver. The
book was dedicated TO his faithful
and affectionate wife, and the mother
of my four boys, and to all who laugh
and cry throughout the universe" !"
What q dedication! How much food
for thought is conveyed! Note the
little word and between the words
arite and mother, yet surely the same
person is indicated The book is
unique in contents. containing such
gems OF literature as an "Ode to a
Shanghai Chicken" an essay on Bed.
bugs and Else." and a poem entitled
"The Jackass; a Parody on Poe's
Raven" Words fail to express my
emotion! l have just read "The
Jackass" though Webster's Un-
abridged Dictionary probably contains
the words l need to clothe my thoughts,
| cannot find them.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
The Smallest Store in New York.

The smallest business house in New
Yorn city is little tailor-s shop located
at l3 North William street, a small
thoroughfare just east Of the bridge
and off Park row. The actual inside
measurements of the little shop are
three feet nine inches by four feet tw O
inches, and there is just room for a
small gas stove and two three-legged
stools. On one of these the tailor sits
at his work. The other is for the
waiting customer, for the business in
this shop is mainly in the nature OF
emergency repairs. If there should be
q rush of two customers; one would be
obliged to remain outside until his
turn came.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
A Scientific Diagnosis.

"What is your disgnosisf" asked
the older physician OF his young con-
frere. who is earnest but inexperienced,
and who has been called in consulta.
ton.
"Well," says the younger medico.
"there doesn't seem to be much the
matter. The patient has slight fever
aud some little tightness OF the chest.
l should say there was nothing more
than cold bothering him."
any boy" said the older man,
kindly, "you have gone about it
wrong. Note these symptoms: A
white marble stairway in the entrance
hall, gold furniture in the parlor, cut
glass and silver galore in the dining
room, two automobiles in the side
yard, solid mahogany
But what has that to do with the
sickness of Mr.. Gumpurse?"
at has lots TO do with it. The man
has congestion OF the bank account,
and the proper move for us to make is
for US to relieve that much as possible" !"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
BLOWN UP BY RICE.


The old sailor in the seaman's board
ing house finished his saucer of rice
pudding and then smacked his lips.
al ft Q battle with rice wunst, and
got licked" he said. didn't l ever
tell ye about it? Back in 70 the
thing happened. l wuz a foremast
hand on the brig Heave Ho, bound
from Ceylon to Frisco with a full
cargo of rice in the hold.
"All went we'll till We wuz seven
days out. Then the Heave Ho sprung
a leak. It wuz small leak, and at
first we thunk nothin' of it, only we
noticed arfter we had been working
the pumps while that the duced
things didn't seem to fetch up no
water. There wuz the water backin'
into the Hesve Ho all right. but no
sooner did it enter than it disappeared |;
the pumps couldn't get smell OF it.
"The skipper, when he sees how
things wuz goin', turned as white as
yer shirt.
"Men,' he sez, 'the rice in the
hold is absorbing the water fsster'n
we can dump it out. The rice is a.
swellin'. If it keeps on a-swellin' it'll
bust the ship
$50 then and there began a battle
betwixt Us an the rice as to who was
to get that water that leaked in. We
pumped, 1 tell ye; we worked hard
but hard as we worked, the rice worked
harder-it collsred more O. the water
than we did, an it KEEP a-swellin' an
a.swellin'. At the end O. the second
day the planks an timbers began to
groan. They wuz bein' wrenched an
twisted out O. place by the swellin' o
that bloomin' rice.
"We'll have to take to the boats
men, the skipper sez at the end. an
to the boots we took, leavin' the Heave
Ho on starry night.
"We didn't leave here none too
soon. She busted an hour after we
wuz gone. With a great rendin'
sound she busted. an a white cloud oi
rice shot up into the moonlit air. a
strange site it were, lads, an one sell
dom saw by mankind"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22

Tue watchdog bayed ferociously, but
did not rattle the chain.
"Now, if were only satisfied that
the blamed dog would not run amuck,"
whispered the prospecting burglar.
Then the burglar tossed over large
quantity OF fine dog meat and watched
the canine greedily eat it. When the
dog had finished the burglar climbed
over the fence and the dog crawled to
him and licked his hand with evide
affection.
"That's the idea," whispered the
burglar.
So saying. after an affectionate pat
of the CANNES head, the burglar pro.
ceeded to put his jimmy and skeleton
keys into operation.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
OLYMPIA WASIINGTON FRIDAY MORNING, ARPL g. 1904

This insubordinate spirit is fostered
in several instances by chiefs OF bu-
reaus and chiefs of division who de.
clare that their clerks do not do any
more in seven hours than they used to
do in six and half. OF course, the
way to handle such cases is to super
sede the superior officers with better
men and then dismiss the clerks if the
insubordination continues. For a
clerk to draw large pay and shirk his
work is as dishonest as any other
method of stealing.
Mr.. Hearst has acquired tall
feather for his cap this week in the
Supreme Court decision in the An
thracite Coal case prohibiting railroad
companies from discriminating among
their customers, and compelling COM
panies to exhibit their contracts. Mr..
Hearst instituted this suit at his own
expense and resolutely carried it
through to success, but one of the
"independent" papers OF this city an
nounce it in startling headlines as "a
Great Victory for the Administration p
The President might we'll say with
Pyrrhus, King OF Epirus, Another
such victory and am undone."
When Senator Depew the other day,
in q bout with Senator Carmack, re-
marked that he was born and reared a
Democrat when he was young and
foolish, Carmack retorted with the
quotation $50 Satan, as he trod the
burning mari of hell, boasted that he,
too, was once ali angel OF lightw
BREvITIEs.-The Countess Cas.ini,
daughter OF the Russian Ambassador,
is getting up great fair for April
9th, in aid OF the Russian Red Cross
Society, Congress is in a state of re-
bellion against the "Bum Grub" in
the restaurant. The testimony in the
Smoot hearings makes . thrilling 70.
nance OF love and domestic bliss in
volume OF 700 pages. The schools of
Washington are infested with a most
scandal. Dem.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
HOUSEHOLD RECIPES.

If one cannot afford good grade Of
linoleum or oil-cloth, the next best
thing is to have the kitchen floor
smoothed, the cracks filled, and the
board we'll oiled with boiled linseed
oil.
For papering a ceiled room first
cover the walls with coating OF good
paste, then put lengths of cheap mus
lin on the wood as you would the wall
paper, tacking it on at the end and
along the selvage edges; let the mus.
lin get perfectly dry and then paste on
the wallpaper as you would on any
wall.
A Pretty Dish for Dessert is Banded
Apples.-In pairing the apples, leave
band half an inch wide around the
center. Core and fill the cavities so
made with little sugar and spice; !;
place the apples in deep dish, with
little water, and bake them slowly un-
til tender. Serve hot, with cream, or
the syrup that will cook from them.
Apple Foam.-Pare, core and stew
very soft, in little water, q dozen me.
dium-sized, tart apples. When done.
strain through asieve or potato ricer,
sweeten to taste and stir in a piece of
butter as large as walnut; stir this
until the butter is entirely melted and
mixed with the apple and let it cool,
beat the egg into the sauce with fork,
until it is foamy. Pile in an irregular
mass in glass dish and serve cold
with boiled custard poured over each
individual dish as it is passed. With
hot biscuit or plain cake, this makes
a most delicious dessert or supper
dish.
Baked Apple Sauce.-Pare, core and
cut in quarters, tart apples, and place
them in an earthen dish. To two
quarts of apples so prepared, allow one
cupful of sugar and half cupful of
water; If liked, dash of cinnamon or
cloves may be added, though it will
take away from the natural taste OF
the apple. Cover closely and bake in
very slow oven for an hour and a
half, or until the apples become of
deep red color. The long, slow cook
ing prevents them from becoming
"mushy" so they can be served in
whole pieces, and the syrup is deli.
cious. Let the apples cool in the pan.
then remove carefully to the serving
dish and pour the syrup over them.
These may be served as o sauce when
cold, or with cream and hot biscuit or
cake, as dessert.
For Sweeping Without Dust.-Make
warm cleansing suds OF rainwa,er
and some good washing powder, and
have your broom perfectly eleanor II
new one may be used. Dip the broom
into the suds, being careful to shake
all the water possible out OF it before
using; then take a width at a time,
sweeping with short. quick strokes,
and whenever the broom gathers the
dirt for an inch or two on the points
of the straws (Which it will very soon
do), dip it again in the water until
clean. As soon as the water looks
soiled or black, change to fresh suds
and continue sweeping by widths un-
til the carpet has all been gone over,
and the colors will look bright and
new. One such sweeping, unless the
room is much used, will keep the car
pet looking fresh and clean for week.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
NEW WAR SHIP.
Capt. Bergman Describes an Attack by Bo :
vine Monster.
Everett Herald

Everett Herald
Captain Bergman is not one OF the
persuasion that comedies the Snoho-
mish cow the freedom of the town and
all the rights and privileges appertain-
ing thereto. After spending 20 years
on the bridge the captain has tied up
at the busy town up the river and
banked his fires. He has seen Puget
Sound shipping expand from the log
canoe to fleets of steamers, and as q
factor in that development feels en-.
titled to an easy anchorage in the har-
Dor of domestic tranquility. For the
sake OF diversion merely he operates a
steamship on the river, but his most
serious efforts are devoted to the vel.
fare of his potato patch, as BELTS a
citizen of standing and repute.
But one day rakish, sinister look
ing craft appeared in the offing and
since then the Captain has had to set
an anchor watch and mount q rapid
fire gun on his upper deck.
"The stranger aroused my suspicion
at once" he explained, "by the way
she yawed and fell on in coming in.
She showed no flag but carried horns
on her fgurehead and her stern line
was Tapping in the wind. When l
hailed her she refused to answer and
stood away on port tack. Then she
wore around, broke out her studding
sails and laid course straight for my
stsrboard quarter"
"Avast, there, We pirate I sang
out; ssarboard your helm, or you'll
run me down, ye lubber."
"But she never luffed a point and
crashing through the taffrail raked my
cabbage bed fore and aft. Then she
put her helm hard aport, and made q
Schley loop, and coming head.on At
full speed carried away my rose bushes
and other superstructure forward.
When she finally hauled off and
ceased firing l had all hands ct the
pumps end the union Jack flying up
side down. l have had to beat quar-
ters almost every watch since the first
attack and / am about out of coal and
ammunition. Every other craft in the
harbor up there il in the same condi-
ton and the only hope of relief is to
scuttle your ship and take to the
woods. There is no hope of sinking
the pirate, for brick-bats and other
solid shot are no more effective against
her armor plate than sea biscuits
would be. She flaps her stern line de.
cisively at every broadside and nothing
but the explosion OF shell in her
magazine will put her out of commits.
sion."
"But, Captain" interjected listen
er, "what has all this to do with the
COW question in Snohomish7"
"What has it to do?" roared the
mariner, "why, haven't just been
explaining the natter%
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22

A WOMAN was arrested in Cincinnati
for deeeiving her husband before mar
riage by the use of glass eye, a
wooden leg aud other affairs too num-
erous to mention, and the sensible
Judge decided to the effect that wo.
man was not obliged to notify the
man she had decided to marry in re-
gard to any device or attachment to
improve the work OF nature in con-
struction of the face, form or figure.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22

every possible manner where the
leaves, fiber and wood can be handled.
One species supplies delicate table
food which is much relished by Japan
ese and Americans.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
1T a5hlugton Standard.
ISSUED EVERY FRIDAY tytsss BY
JOHN MILLER M RPHY,
Editor and proprietor.
: subscrtptiOn Rates.

Subscription Rates.
Per wear, in advance ............... 81 80
Six months, in advance ..... ...... 70
Advertising Rates.
One square inch) per year.........f .fl2 w
per quarter. ....--.----.- W.
One square, one insertion. ........... w
"a subsequent insertions o0
Advertising, four squares or upward bv
the year, at liberal rates.
Legal notices will he charged TO the
attorney or officer authorizing their lnser-
tion.
Advertisements sent from a distance,
and transient notices must be accompan-
led bv the cash.
Announcements OF marriages, births
and deaths inserted free.
Obituary notices. resolutions of respect
and other articles which do not possess
general interest Will he inserted AT one
balfthe rates for business advertisements.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
Went Right to Work.
Milwaukee Sentinel,

Morpheus had just been informed
by Jupiter of his appointment OF the
god of dreams.
a. suppose, he said," that l must fit
myself for the Office if l would make
good"
With this remark he looked up an
opium joint and proceeded to hit the
pipe.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
PARTY CROSS-FIRE.
GEN. GROSVENOR AIRS STOCK
iN-TRAOE ENTS,"

Among Which is the Assertion That the Demo-
Gratis Have No Candidates. No Principles,
and Are HopelessIy Adrift at Ssa-Consress
Endsavors to Break Away From Old Fosy.
ism Regarding Government Use Of Machinery
-Rebellious Clerks Quarrel With Their Pie
man-A Triumph for Hearst in the Anthra.
cite Coal Case-Ssnator Car mack's Bon Mot
on Depew-Brevities.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22

IT is reported that new bank, with
u capital and reserve of $l4, ,OO0, 600,
will be established in Seattle.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22

THE young ladies of Spokane Semi.
nary have organized "Girls' Leap
Year Club" and adopted lavender ard
gold as the society colors.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
QUA Prescription DEPARTMENT

Realising our responsibility in this res
every detail, using only the best and
purest drugs and chemicals with guaran-
teed accuracy. 1t matters not what My
sician writes your prescription, it will be
compounded in the strictest accordance
Herewith, by competent, reliable phar-
macist, if brought to u.s. and only reason
able charges made.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22

He makes no mark who has no aim.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22

We RESPECTFULLY SoLIcr
You to give US call when in need
of anything in our line. Whether
you purchase or not, get our prices
= see our goods. These two points
alone will make you regular pa
irons. Then, we treat everyone Just
alike, child can do as well here as
an adult. We always appreciate pa
tTonage, whether small or large,
and sell goods at reasonable prices.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
Attention

To y"u- wants i'm all that should he in "a
Drug Store, is our business, and
the aim is that our atten-
ton to these needs
be SO satisfactory to you
that you will depend on us for
your supply of
PURE DRUGS, PERFUMEKY,
CHEMICALS, SOAPS,
CIGARS, STATIONERY,
PATENT MEDICINES,
AND
DRUGGISTS SUNDRIES.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
si.so PER SETTING.

Write for prices. Eggs for Matching after Jan.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-03-11
M'CABE'S
Specials for Saturday

3Sc silk spot wash goods. 19c.
75e silk stripe challie, 47c.
Ladies' white turnover collars, Sc.
81 white shirt waists, slightly soil
ed, 94c.
Janice Meredith, $3.50 book, SOC.
25c side and back combs, 12c.
Fine chocolate creams, h.. Toe.
Finest sailed peanuts, H., Zoe.
ChiIdren's 15c ribbed hose. Zoe.
$50 gloria silk umbrellas, 81.
Shinola 35c shoe polish, 19c.
Mems $3.50 shoes, two styles, $1.69
Shifting prints. &c quality, 4c.
Short lengths fine cambrics. &c.
Oak tables. with shelves. 47c
Brussels rugs, 27x54 inches, soc.
25c tapestry pillow tops, Toe.
Music in the evening.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-03-11
YOUNG & M'CoMBs'
store News for saturday.

500 rolls wall paper, Saturday price
&C.
so fancy gold and veneered picture
frames, regular value worth up to s5c,
Saturday special, 39c.
% dozen taffeta silk and satin belts,
worth up TO soc, your choice Saturday
25c.
Kentucky blue grass seed, H., Zoe.
Nine-quarter unbleached sheeting,
yd.. 19c.
WOmen's silk-lined wrist bag. 25c.
New arrival of fancy embroidered
stock collars, 25c.
All silk tafTeta neck ribbons, all
eolors, 19c quality. Saturday price Zoe.
Your watch cleaned and repaired.
for limited time only. by compe-
tent jeweler. work guaranteed for
one year. price Use.
great assortment of new spring
suits. s.. $50. 80. $40. s115o. $3.50,
$3.50, SIS. $3.50, SIS. $50, SIS, 27.5O,
$50 and s35.
Cake Witch Hazel soap and wash
cloth. &c.
Children's black stockings. Sc.
Mems merino half hose, zoe value,
Saturday Zoe
Fine line of fresh candies, 20 varie-
ties, Saturday price Toe.
Monday commences our muslin un-
derwear sale.
TOul de Nord ginghams, worth 12Izc.
short lengths, Saturday, per I'd. &C.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-03-11

window. Wise buyers viii take ad
vantage Of such bargains. The Lon
don.
Buy your wall paper of Lerch
Greye, 2OO2 Fourth avenue.
Tomorrow, bargain day, at Lage
Waters Shoe company's.
Prices make the good shoes NOV,
at Adams closing out sale.
Tomorrow, bargain day, at Lage
Waters Shoe company's.
Six-cent shifting prints cents Z
yard Saturday at McCabe's.
Tomorrow. bargain day, at Lage'
Waters Shoe company's.
25-cent tapestry pillow tops 10 cents
each Saturday at McCabe's.
Tomorrow, bargain day, at Lage-
Waters Shoe company's.
1903 Second avenue is the number of
the .Lage-Waters shoe store.
Spring shirts, nobbv ones at SO
cents. SOmmers & La Velle.
Dressed turkeys and chickens at
Harris & Gauley's tomorrow.
Stein-Bloch company's suits and top
coats. Sommers & La Velle.
The latest in top coats and craven
cites at Gustafson & Hayes.
Imported and domestic cheese al
ways on hand at Passig Bros.
''Longley" hats always lead in style.
Ullemeyer & Sterling sell them.
Spring shirts in all the new patterns
are shown at Gustafson & Hayes.
See our nobby styles in little fell
lows suits. SOmmers & LaVelle.
s2.29 for ladies' So patent coltskin
shoes at Adams closing out sale.
All the new shapes in spring hats
are shown at Gustafson & Hayes.
A pleasant smile and Edison's cigar
at Arndt's cigar store for cents.
Fresh eggs at Rachman's only 16
cents tomorrow, 700 Twelfth street.
\ full measure of value in our So 80
knee pants suits. SOmmers & LaVelle.
For tin and furnace work. see H. T.
Siemon, 1926 Fourth avenue, union 2S3.
The largest stock of wall paper at
Lerch q Greve's, 2OO2 Fourth avenue.
The Thirty club had dancing par
~ at the Industrial home last even
ing.
Canned corn, peas and tomatoes,
three cans for % cents, at Passig
Bros.
Boys knee trousers. fine qualities,
at AZ and 80 cents. Sommers & La
VeIle.
Rain coats and top coats. all the
very latest shades and styles. The
London.
Hats-Tiger hat. soft. stiff. the equal
of any. Spring shapes. Sommers &
LaNelle.
The story of the Reformation was
the subject of the lecture of DIR.
Koehne at Broadway Presbyterian
church last evening. 1t was told in a
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-03-11
BISHOP sPALDING GOES TO
HOT SPRINGS FOR TREATMEN I

Bishop j. l.. Spalding has gone to
Hot Springs, Ark. where he is i'm
proving under treatment. according
to dispatches. The bishop has been
i'll for over two weeks and. acting I'M
der advice from his physicians, he
cancelled all engagements and left for
the south, where he expects to remain
several weeks.
1t is said that his breakdown is due
to prolonged application TO study and
the nervous strain attendant upon
public lecturing.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-03-11
CITY CHAT.

ZAzaro. Union cigar.
For insurance, f. J. Burns.
Buy home of Reidy Bros.
Tri-City Towel Supply company.
Ralston health shoes. Dolly Bros.
Kerler Bros, your carpet cleaners.
For bus, baggage, express, call Robb's
Spencer & Trefz for bus or express,
Go to Lage-Waters' for shoe bar
gains.
For real estate and insurance, E. ].
Burns.
For a nobby top coat, see Gustafson
C Hayes.
Mems $3.50 shoes s1.6s Saturday at
McCabe's.
Mems 81 coltskin shoes at s2.9s at
Adams sale.
Fresh Kentucky blue grass seed at
Passig Bros.
Fancy lemons 20 cents per dozen at
Passig Bros.
No better made for cents than the
Edison cigar.
SOS for ladies' 81 and IS shoes at
Adams sale.
No place like Lage-Waters' for bar
gains in shoes.
Nicely dressed ducks and chickens
at Schroeder's.
Nice vegetables received fresh daily
at Passig Bros.
S1.50 gloria silk umbrellas 81 Satur-
day at McCabe's.
Ullemeyer & Sterling, headquarters
for Longley hats.
James cafe will be open evenings
beginning March 5.
y smoke from the garden of Cuba.
Edison's scent cigar.
Consult your best interests and buy
your shoes at Adams.
Tomorrow, bargain day, at LACE
Waters Shoe cOmpany's.
All kinds of fresh garden seeds to
be had at Passig Bros.
Tomorrow, bargain day, at LACE
Waters Shoe company's.
$500 reward if Edison's cigar does
not contain Havana filler.
Tomorrow. bargain day, at Lage-
Waters Shoe cOmpany's.
For fine selection of mems suits AT
SO, SIP, $3.50 and SIS, see our show