West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-05-19

that controls the strangling hold.
fear, however, that they have at
last gotten firm grip on the wind
pipe and hobbled your kickers.
something we all regret, as your
political yell and kick was known
in every household in the county. :"
As | finished the Leader could
emit but a faint groan. There was
no kick II him. To me who had
known him in his war whoop days
apd kicking stunts was more than
| could endure and fell on his
neck and ~ept bitter weep. The
faulty of my weeping must have
touched his spinal chord for he
gave gentle yell and looked dis
gus,ed. At this junc,ure l gave
him ten Drops of my celebrated
medicine, put-life-in. him, and in
twenty seconds the vocal organs
began to play. Observing this,
said:
MAY ask, my dear Leader,
what you attribute your humiliation
to ? / know full we'll that it is a
sorrowful theme for you to croak
on, but circumstances which con-
troll the destiny OF mankind has
driven you to Il. Start slowly but
emphatically until you gain full
control OF your voice and then add
a few sticks of dynamite to arouse
the slumbering masses"
1.-THE parting with the Legislative
honors which 1 had hoped TO gather
in to crown my eventful life on the
political war path has been ruthless
ly torn from me To discuss this
subject causes the life blood to
gush rapidly through my aching
heart. 1 might relate many of the
causes which lead to my defeat.
The principal one was the shortage
of votes. The next one which
caused me most agony was the in
discretion of my esteemed and de-
voted friend, Col. w. ]. Lavelle.
The Colonel has always been my
political adviser and supporter in
all my political adventures. He
has been out of the State for the
last few years and was not acquaint-
with the political food which we
were feeding the voters of Preston
county. He had just conducted a
a successful campaign in Maryland
for the Hon. Arthur Pue German
in which he made the voters be-
lieve there was niger in every
wood pile. The Colonel has branch
ed out to be a National character.
Many accuse him of being politi-
cal outlaw, which l brand as a
cruel accusation, even if his indis-
creiion did cost me my legislative
crown. The Colonel is Political
Promoter, and when he read in the
newspapers of my candidacy he
immediate y came to Tunnelton in
his private car to promote my po-
]
liticsl aspirators. There is where
he made the fatal mistake. The
enemy had already shadowed me.
When the Colonel arrived in Tun-
melton in his private car it leaked
out that he had come with a car
load of viands of the choicest Sc
lectIons rom the vineyards Of all
nations, 10 begin campaign of my
promoting interests. Some of the
spirits wlich he had bottled up in
the car leaked out and the enemy
got whiff of It. Instantly the
enemy surrounded the car and be-
gan to yell fnriously for the con.
tents of the car or the Colonies
sclap. rs sad and forlorn as | am
at this moment cannot restrain
my mirth as see the Colonel fee
ing for his life The car and
spirits he left behind him, but the
scalp he escaped with to Maryland,
my Maryland, where the last ac-
count we have Of him he had re
signed his exalted position as Poll.
teal Promoter.
"The enemy having gotten con-
troll Of his yiands and spirits they
went on the war path in earnest
after my political scalp. They
telephoned it broad cast over the
county that the political OUTLAW, as
they characterized the Colonel. was
backing me and endeavoring to
spiritualize the county Of Preston.
have but faint recollection of
what occurred after this When /
swoke I found myself lying on this
lounge and wondering what cyclone
struck me-"
1t made my heart shrob with glad
ness when found that the Leader
had recovered his speech. knew
that those who had inaugurated the
political system Of espionage upon
the Leader would recoiI with fear
when he gives vent to his lofty sub.
I lime and splendid thoughts T