Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1904-10-21
HOW THEY FOUND HIM OUT
Couldn't Conceal the Dis
agreeable Fact.

| ton I've taken in eight years., said
| a sun-brOwned middle-aged boss bar
Der who is very well known in Wash
| ingtOn, relates the Star. The barber
/ ing business began to PAIL upon me so
acutely about a month ago that SIM
ply had to pick up and run some
where. I wanted to forget that I'd
ever been a barber or the boss OF a
| barber shop. In my anxiety to con-
ceal my avocation, however, and to
/ sort o pose as a somebody entirely
different from a barber / struck one
| little snag that 1 will remember.
| Went into barber shop down at
the beach one forenoon to get shaved.
For some reason or other ! felt bit
| cross and cranky that morning. The
man into whose chair l sat had Van
| Dyke beard, and that didn't add to my
| nature. l like to see a clean-shaved
barber-whiskered BARRIERS make me
| tired, and / wouldn't employ one If
he'd work for nothing.
Razor hurt?' the man shaving me
asked, after he had made a few passes
| with the blade.
Eyes. it does replied, testify.
It's 8 wonder to me you BARRIERS
| wouldn't keep your blades sharpened
up
I'll try another one,' he said good
naturally; and although the first one
had really been all right-only I was
cranky. as I say told him, when he
inquired, that the second one was
passable enough.
as he plugged along at my tough
beard.
Yep I replied, with the air of
railroad president in a barber shop
who doesn't care much for tonsorial
conversation, If 1 feel like it
Waters great now, they tell me-
my barber went on.
"'Um,' said 1. I wish you'd try to
keep some of that lather, anyhow, out
of my mouth. Don't enjoy the taste
of it right on top of my breakfast
"The barber grinned good-naturedly,
and went on with nis job.
''This'd be a Queer-looking old world
without BARRIERS, wouldn't ito he
came back again, after another short
pause.
"'Oh, 1 don't know I replied. I
think it would be a first-rate world
without em. Tkere'd be a whole lot
less conversation, for one thing
We'll, instead of looking crushed.
blamed if that fool barber didn't
laugh right out loud at that squelcher
of mine
"'Oh, WE'LL he replied with his I'M
damned flow of cheerfulness, some of
us have got to be BARRIERS, of course.
Pretty bum business, at that
well, should say so,' / replied
Seems to me that any young man Of
spunk and grit and ambition would
rather drive truck or carry the bod,
any. time, than be a barber
THAT got another loud laugh out Of
my Van Dyked barber. He laughed
so loud, in fact, that it grated upon
me, and half sat up and glared at
him, which only caused him to laugh
the louder
"I wish you'd cut out that fool
cackling and let me get out of here
said TO him then. 4 don't visit bar
Der shops for the fun Of the thing
I'd never go near one of the blamed
places if l didn't have to- Now hurry
up and let me break out of here
'Shampoo?' he asked me.
"'No!'
"'No!"
"'Tonic?'
:No-noi'
Powder on your face?'
":No!' I shrieked. Just pull this
apron from around my neck and LEM
me out O. here. I'd rather spend a
day in jail than a quarter of an hour
in a barber shopi'
THAT grinning barber fellow almost
fell down from chucllling as he pulled
/. the napkin and apron from around
my neck. 1 hurried on my collar and
tie and coat and hat and paid him, and
was just about starting out the door
when he said to me:
Flows things in Washington,
boss?'
Washington 1 said, wheeling
upon him. What the deuce makes
you think I'm from Washington
"'Oh, nothing the cutthroat re-
Washington once, bout nine years
ago, that's ALL
"And it was So l took another look
at him, and remembered him, even
under the cover of that Van Dyke
beard. He'd worked in my shop for
an entire winter. but 1 have so many
men coming and going all the time
that I hadn't recognized him. l hur-
ried right anyway from that shop,
and for the remainder of my stay at
the beach I did all sorts of lodging
so as not to pass by it again
Freak of Whirlwind.