Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-22
CHIPS AND RAGS
By LuE r. VERNON.
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Don't bore people with your troubles,
they have their own.
The biggest dead.beats are always
the ones who put on the most style.
A very prominent man can say
things that are simply foolish, and his
remarks will pass for wisdom.
In some portions Of Korea, women
wear pants. In some portions Of
Olympia, women do the same thing.
We always doubt the sincerity of a
man who, when he talks, frequently
coughs and looks down at his feet.
Don't trust them.
When a woman is going to the bad
and gets fair start, she travels very
rapidly, but you can bet it was a man
who gave her the first start.
We have noticed that it doesn't re-
quire half the time for the shear and
paste pot editor to clip for copy"
paragraphs from this column without
giving either the writer or STANDARD
credit for the same, as it does to write
it.
Buffalo Bill complains, in his petit
tion for divorce, that his wife would
not entertain his friends. Perhaps
his friends were too boisterous for the
house. All men have friends that
their wives are justified in not enter
tanning.
How would you like to be Russian
soldier? They receive one penny per
day and are provided with clothing
and fare. They are the poorest paid
soldiers in the world. A full.hedged
Colonel-gilt-braid and all-only re-
ceives $50 per month.
A hobo is arrested, proved guilty,
sentenced and landed in Jail in jiffy.
A Senator is arrested, proved guilty,
sentenced-and takes the train i'm
mediately for Washington, d. C..
That's the difference between the up
per ten and lower five.
The San Francisco Call is to the
fore with the exploded fiction that
England was our friend during the
Spanish war. The Call always was
more or less of Rip Van Winkle, but
lately it has been giving indications of
an ability to beat even his record of a
twenty-year snooze.
There are thousands OF girls, and
some of them are in Olympia, who can
read Cicero, dissolve chemicals into all
sorts Of brilliant flames, play Chopin,
or raise anything to the "nith" power,
speak q smattering OF dead languages
but cannot "sew a fine seam" or cook
a meal OF victuals to save their lives.
We once read of magnificent five
story, brown-stone.fr front mansion on
Fifth avenue, New York. When you
opened the front door and stepped
across the threshold, you found your
self in the back yard. The house was
all front. We frequently meet per-
sons who correspond to that type of
building. They are all front, there is
nothing to them.
People do good many mean things
without thinking. One of the mean
est is to tell man what others say
about him. Every one should know
that some one dislikes him, and
abuses him. But it is thoughtless, il
not mean, to tell him about it. People
abuse you; if you don't hear about it,
it is because your friends are too gen.
teel to tell you of it.
Although the election OF DR.. Jame-
son as Premier OF the Transvasl is an
old story by now, it is not too late to
remark that President Kruger and his
people erred, when q mistaken Glenn
ency prompted them to let this un.
scrupulous adventurer 60 free, his
neck unmarried by the scratch OF
hemp. 1t is only the little nations
that show great mercy, and it is only
they that cannot afford it.
The editor OF the STANDARD received
the following note the other day,
which explains itself:
| "DERE PROFESSOR EDITOR: | would
like for you to put in your paper notice
fer a husband fer me. l am thirty
eight wears old, have no dentist bills, fer
my teeth are all o. X. l can cook a
stake, wash deeshes, and grace the par
lor fine. Also player on the acordeen,
and have had two husbands. They are
ded, but their graves are green and
tended to all on account of me. Any
lovin' man of wait over one hundred
and twenty answer please. r. S.-No
doods."
Schlatter, the divine healer, whom
we supposed was found dead in the
mountains OF Colorado, few years
ago, is alive and kicking. The old
fakir is figuring in divorce case in
st. Louis. His wife is beautiful wo-
man who, in asking for liberty, says
al married him out OF gratitude" 1t
seems that the divine fake when he
gets a good jag aboard-like one OF
two Olympia ours we know of-goes
home and whips his vile.
The San Francisco Bulletin is max
ing tremendous effort to down
Hearst, and at this writing has him
whipped to q standstill. An Illus