The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14


Smith. and his wife Kate-kate Ur
she was before he married he gg-
how they tried to butt their way
through the upper crust.
Hank and were boys togethar .l
Missouri. and lie stayed along IL ,Gg
old town after | left. heard Of -.r,
on and of rs tending store Il littlc ANA
farming little and loating Il "a
deal. Then | forgot all about him until
one day a few years ago when l.t
turned up i'll the papers as Captain
Henry Smith, the Kiondike gold king.
just back from Circle City with a mi.
lion in dust and anything you plea
in claims. There's never any limit tu
what miner may be worth i'll those
except his Imagination.
| was little puzzled when week
later my office boy brought me Il card
reading Colonel Henry Augustus
Bottes- -Smythe, but l supposed it was
some distinguished foreigner who had
come to size me up so that he could
round out his roast on Chicago in his
new book. and told the boy to show
the colonel in.
I've got Il pretty good memory for
faces, and I'd bought too much store
plug of Hank in my time not to know
him, even with clean shave and
plug hat. Some men dry up with sue
cess, but it was Just spouting out OF
Hank Told me he'd made his pile and
that he was tired of living on the Stag
heap: that he'd spent his whole life
where money hardly whispered. let
alone talked. and he was going now
where it would shout. Wanted to know
what was the use of being "A mob if Il
fellow wasn't the nobbiest sort OF
mob. Said he'd bought house on Bca-
con I'm. il Boston, and that If 10
prick up my ears occasionally Ia hear
something drop into the Back Bay
Handed me his new card four times
and explained that it was the rawest
sort of dog to carry Il brace of names
in your card holster; that it gave you
the drop on the swells every time and
that they just had to throw up both
hands and pass you the pot when you
showed down. Said that Bottles was
old English for Bolts and that Smythe
was new American for Smith; the Au-
gustus was just fancy touch, sort
of high card kicker.
didn't explain to Hank, because it
was congratulations and not explana-
tions that he wanted, and i make it a
point to show customer the line of
goods that he's looking for. And l
never heard the full particulars of his
experiences in the east, though from
what learned afterward Hank struck
Boston with bang all right.
He located his claim on Beacon Hill
between a Maytlower descendant and
a Declaration signer's great-grandSOn,
breeds which believe that when the
Lord made them he was through and
that the rest of us just happened. And
he hadn't been in town two hours be
fore he started in to make improve
mentS. There was high wrought
iron railing in front of his house. and
he had that gilded first thing, because,
as he said, he wasn't running re
ceiving vault and he didn't want any
mistakes. Then he bought Ii nice open
barouchc, had the wheels painted red
hired a nigger coachman and started
out in style to be sociable and get
acquainted Left his card all the way
down one side of Beacon street and
then drove back, leaving it on the
other. Everywhere he stopped lie
found that the whole family was out
Kept it up a week, on and off. but
didn't seem to have any luck Thought
that the men must be hot sports and
the women great gadders to keep on the
| jump so much. Allowed that they were
the liveliest little lot of tieas that he
had ever chased. Decided to quit try
ing to nail 'eu one at time and
| planned out something that he reck-
oned would round up the whole bunch
Hank sent out a thousand invita-
tons to his grand opening, as he called
lc; left one at every house within a
| mile. Had brass band on the front
steps and fireworks on the roof. Or
dered forty kegs from the brewery and
hired fancy mixer to sling together
nlilu snorts, as he called them, for the
ladies'. They tell me that when the
band got to going good on the stems
ana the fireworks on the roof even
Beacon street looked out the windows
to see what was doing. There must
have been 10000 people in the street
ana not soul but Hank and Lis wife
ana the mixer in the house Some one
yelled Speech" and then the whole
crowd took 1T up, till Hank came out
on the steps. He shut Off the band
with one hand and stopped the fire
works with the other Said that
speechmaking wasn't his strangle hold;
that he'd been living on snowballs in
the hlondike for so long that his gas
pipe was frozen, but that this vel
come started the ice, and he Thought
ABOUT 'hfee fingers of the plumbers
| faNOritp prpScriDtion would ,,,, So. 81, =,