The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-07-26
f(H HE story of barber who went NCY mad the other day and tried
 to shave bath towel under

"9 mad the other day and tried
 to shave a bath towel under the delusion that he was scraping the face of a dead man reminds me of a little experience had about ten years ago." said mining engineer who has travelled widely. T was in a small western town at the time and dropped into the local barber shop one day to get a shave. There were only two chairs. I took one of them that was presided over by man had noticed about town several times but did not know. Telling him to give me good shave I closed my eyes and permitted myself to be tilted back fin the chair. I must have dozed for few min utes, for I was suddenly recalled to my senses by hearing a voice at my ear talk ing softly. I opened my eyes and saw the barber's face bent close to mine and peculiar, feverish look In his eyes as he hurriedly drew the razor up and down my throat. The other chair was empty while the man who had charge of it was standing out on the street talking in an animated manner to an acquaintance. This I observed from the corner of my eye. So far as I could see there was no one else in the shop besides myself and the barber, who held razor at my throat and without a sign of emotion, other than the glitter in his eyes. said:
 Yes, I think I will send Commodore Sampson to the far east. He is a cour- ageous man, tried sea-hghter and the very man to prevent the interests of the United States from being jeopardized. I will order Thurber to wire the commodore at once of my views and will also con- suit with Secretaries Herbert and Lamont who will no doubt take steps to carry out my wishes in the matter. I am also afraid that l will be compelled to take hand in Cuban affairs if there is not marked change in the military policy of the Spanish government. By the way, sir, how would you like to have a cabi- net office? I offer you the portfolio of the treasury and would be glad to have you take it, as I like your looks.'"
 'l do not know how long the man had been conversing in this strain. but I lay there in the chair and listened to his wild words with chills running up and down my spine and my limbs gripped Ly fear. I be- lieved that he had suddenly gone mad. but was at a loss to devise a way of es- cape. l dared not call the barber on the street, and my own barber continued. scraping away diligently on my face, as if he had no intention of ever finishing the job. If I attempted to escape he might cut my throat. and If 1 cried out 1t might bring about the same result As I was debating these questions he repeated his question, How would you like to have cabinet office. sirY Oh I would be de- lighted. I answered. I thought you would accept he continued. I will send your nomination to the senate for confirma- tion tomorrow
 Then the barber entered into a discus sion of national questions that were live topics at that time and requested par ticularly my views on the tariff. With precipitation pouring down my face and my hair starting from my head I answered his questions as best I could, all the time wondering when and how the ordeal would end The barber had become so interested in confiding to me his plans as President of the United States that he quit shaving me and allowed the hand that held his razor to rest affectienately on my shoul-