The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16
BY F. p. dunno

I that he is handsome enough without
amy artiticyai aid, frgets tn nanny
/ cure an tn hair dhresser. Sometimes
he shaves an sometimes he doesn't.
SO far as he is consumed. he thinks
tn laundry bill is too high. He adj
vertises tn fact that he wears red
flannel chest protector. His principal
conversation is about his lumbago. He
frequently munitions tn fact that he
likes certain articles " food but they
don't like him. Whin he comes home
at night, he plays with tn dog. talks
pollytics with his mex dure neighbOr.
puts his hat an a pair iv cuffs on tn
piannah, sets down in front iv tn fire,
kicks off his boots an dhraws on a pair
iv carpet slippers an thin notices that
tn wife iv his bosom is on tn prem
Uses. Hello, oil woman he says. How s
all ye'er throubles?' he says
"Wanst year, Belinda meets him
at tn dure with a flower in her hair.
Well he says, what are tn docora-
tions about? he says. Don't ye know
what day this is?' says she. Sure.
says he; it's Choosdah.' No. but what
day?' I give it up. st. Pathrick's day,
Valentines day. paw day. What's tn
answer But think. give it up
It's tn anniversary " our weddin'.'
Oh says he. so it is. I'd clean for
got That's right. ] raymimber il Well
now that we mintion it, Well betther
luck mex time. There, take that, he
says. An he salutes her on tn fore
head an goes down i'm tn cellar to wur-
ruk on a patent skid that will rivo-
luchiOnize tn grocery business. If he
suffers a twinse iv remOrse later. he
tells her to take two dollars out Nv tn
nnrGn / comm h11N- harcf1f a
suitable prIsint.
He's pleasant i'm tn avenin' At
supper, havin' explained his daily NAL
aides at full length, he relapses into
gloomy silence, broken On'y be such
sounds as escape firm a man dhrinkin'
bot coffee. Afther supper. he figures
on tn prob'bIe market FIR rutybagy
turnips. WHILE his wife r-reads tn adj
vertisemints is tn theaytres. 'Jawn
Drew is here tlis week. says she Is
heg says Archyoald- That's good he
says. I haven't been to a theaytre
since Billy Emerson died he says. 7
hate tn theaytre. It amt a bit like
rale life as ] see il i'm business hours
he says. Afther awhile whin Belinda
begins 10 tell him a thrillin' says-she
about wan ~ tn neighbors. he lapses
into a pleasant sleep, now an thin
At O'clock he winds tn clock, puts tn
DOG out fr m night. takes off his cellar
on tn stairs an goes to bed. Belinda
sets up little later an dhreams Rich
ara Harding Davis wrote a book about
her.
But tn five years ARE up at last.
Wan mornin' Archybald is glarin' firm
behind a newspaper in his customary
jayniai breakfast mood whin his wife
says, Where viii I sind yeer clothes?'
what's that2 says he. Where dye
live to-morrah?' Don't be foolish. oil
woman. What dye mean?' says he. I
mean says she that tn lease has ex-
pired. AT tin-thirty today. It r-runs
out I like We. Archibald but I think
I'll have TO let We go. Tn property
has r-run down. TIL repairs haven't
been kept up Ye haven't allowed
enough fr wear an tear. II looks too
much like boardin house. I'm goin
into tn market 20 prospect fr a nus
band with all modhren improvements,
says she.
Wei. wuddent that be a jolt fr
Archybald? Ye bet he'd beat tn quar-
Their mile record 20 tn jooIers. He'd
haul out oil pitchers iv himsilf as he
was tn day he won his threasure an
he'd hurry to a beauty upholsterer an
say: Make me as like that there Apol-
10 Belvydere as We can without tearin'
me down altogether 1t wud be fine
He'd get her back maybe but it wud be
a struggle. An afther that about a
year befure tn contract expired again,
ye'd see him pickin purple ties out iv
tn shop window, buyin' theaytre tick
cts be tn scoor an stoppin' ivry avenin'
az mower shop TO gather a bunch iv
Vlolets. He'd hire a man TO nudge him
wilin his birthday came around an
iFry time tn aunyvarsary iv tn we'd
jim occurred, he'd have a firewurruks
display fr'm tn front stoop. Win he'd