, 1904-10-19
~ MAN ABOUT
- TOWN
Writes a Few Paragraphs
to AmuSe Himself and to
Bore Others
BY OUR SPECIAL CONFECTIONERY

nlu good I'D again take his styl0graphlc
pen in hand and let the words flow
fIom it like perspiration dripping from
a man in a climate where the thermom-
eter registers 100 degrees in the shade.
Probably you wonder why the "Man
About Town Articles has failed to
appear. You see verbatim" hasn't
been feeling in a very serious mood of
late and then he desired to know how
many people would miss his letters.
He found out all right but is not go
ing to announce the result for fear that
it might phase the reader-it did him
anyway!
Have you been interested in these
talks? If SO why not write him an
occasional letter and tell him of all the
humorous happenings you come in con-
tact with. He'll appreciate them.
When you write, address "Verbatim,"
care of The JOURNAL, Wildwood, N. j.,
and the letter will be placed in his
hands.
A satisfied looking colored man was
earnestly engaged in fishing from the
Anglesea pier. He vas unusually
successful and every few moments
would haul in a speckled beauty from
the water. Several other anglers were
apparently just as earnest in their en-
beavers to lure the finny fellows but
with little success. They enviously
eyed the more fortunate fisherman.
After the colored fellow had hauled in
three beauties in succession, while the
others had not gotten a bite, one of them
broke the silence.
"Say fellew, how do you ketch Sc
many fish while | don't ketch eny?"
said the puzzled angler casting his line
for the twenty-fifth time without sue
cess.
"NWall donno how tits you don't
ketch EN-. | can'r see them there fish
in the water eny more then you ken.
/ don't tell EN- not to bite your hook an
| don't tell 'em to bite my hook. All
Use know is tibet wen a fish bites my
hook he's either got It come ashore or
git off the hook an L ginrally tries to
git him in"
The other angler asked no more ques-
tons.
A little boy from the city made his
first visit to Wildwood some weeks ago.
He had never seen the ocean before and
some of the sights at the shore puzzled
nlm very HUGE. Ill oeillhS LIS OhuAho
of the ocean he said:
ats a great big river with houses
and land only on one side and the
water tumblesets or the shore"
They were sitting in the barber shop
talking about different topics. First
one thing then another. Finally the
subject wandered to driving artesian
wells.
"WalI,n said one old fellow with a
deep commanding voice, I'll e forglt
the time they tried to drive a well on
my farm. They had no trouble bout
strikin water but it wasn't very good SO
[ told them to drive until they struck
good water. So they drove on down,
and kept on drivin, didn't seem as
though they would ever reach bottom.
The more they drived the less water
they struck. After bout two weeks
of steady drivin' one of Il neighbors
come rushin in all white in the face
and scared awful. He said "there's
somethin' wrong on my farm, there's a
big iron pipe CROWN right out OF the
ground in the middle of my front YARD
and when | put my ear to it, L could
near voices talkin' bout strikin' water.
1t must be somebody fast down in the
ground"
L thought the Teller was crazy but to
pacify him | went 10 his house and by
Gum there was a pipe comm right
out OF the groundjus as he said. When
| put my ear to the derned. thing l
heard a voice say "Wh here's john
dinner is all ready"
almost tainted, it was my Wife's
voice and what's more that was my
artesian well pipe stickin out of his
ward and actin like a telephone. The
durn thing had struck a o some
where's down below and started up the
wrong way.o
After the old gent finished he sat
back, cleared his throat and stroaked
his beard.
''Aw-you go on, " said several of the
hearers looking d~umbfounded.
q q
A teacher in an up-Jersey public
school IS said to have received the follow
ing from a complaining parent a few
days ago! ''Sir-Will you please for
the future give my boy sum easier somes
TO do at mites. This is what he brought
home to or three nights ago. If fore
gallins of bere will fill thirty to pint
bottles, howmany pint and half bottles
Will 8 gallins fill? Well, we
tried, and could make nothing
of it all; and my boy cried and
sed he wouldn't go back without
doing it. So | had to go an buy a
8 gallin keg of bere, which | could i'll
afford to do, and then we went and
borrowed a lot of wine and brandy
bottles, besides a few we had by us.
Well, we emptied the keg into bottles,
and there Mer 10 and my how nut thai