The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-04-17
JUDGE TWINKLE ON THE
 FAR EAST RECREATION
BY GEORGE RANDOLPH CHESTER.

I cause l am at all pro-Japanese, but be- l cause they have so much better imagiua- l tions in Tokyo and the dispatches from l that point make so much better reading. l The St Petersburg tarradiddles seem to l lack those airy embellishments that lift bald headed whopper into the realms of respectable fiction Both agree, however. in the determination to be good and kind to little Korea. whether she wants it CT not. It's a three-cornered benevolent fight, with tine third party bound and gagged. The native Korean has all the chances of rabbit in deg pound. The Jap smiles and kills him and the Russian prays and kills him-and he can't even take his choice.
 "The Brotaerly Love of the present scrimmage reminds me of what happen ed to Mary Ann Turner, when l was prac- ticinS law years ago, down in Grassvillc. If there was ever creature on earth who had nothing to be thankful for, Mary Ann was the one. unless she was grateful IT the poverty that protected her from tres passers or the mortal ugliness that insured her virtue. Mary Ann was an orphan of uncertain years and she lived in tum- ble down shanty on a narrow strip of ground that lay right between the dwell 1 ings of two lone widowers, Sam Collopy | and Jim Fox
 
 enough to shave twice a week, and to pretend, every time q woman looked at them that they were young and foolish, but for all that neither one of them ever gave q thought to the unplueked blossom that nestled between them To this day Mary Ann might have been wrinklin,s away in solitude. selling the milk and butter from one COW and scratching for q living, like her own hens, in her little hN tpiaa if bpr Fln city uncle hadn't taken in a counterf it cent one day and died of heart disease Mary Ann got three thousand dollars.
 "Three thousand dollars made Mary Ann the village beauty. She oxed a whole lot better even to me. and to her two neighbors she was a dazzling vision Of golden lovliness. Ordinarily, either Sam Collopy or Jim rrox would sKln a flea so'' the hide and tallow. but within an hour after the news got around they fairly cracked open with feelings of kindness and philanthropy for the helpless orphan In their midst Sam invested in a brand new paper collar and knocked on Mary Ann's kitchen door as soon as he could get it buttoned.
 l" T jest heard of yore affliotion, Miss Turner, said le, and l thought t would only be ueighbcrly to help what could. | f you'd like to borry q leetle money now. 20 as to go into mourning, jest say t1e word
 Much obleeged replied Mary Am, but 1 don't plan to wear no mcurnins. Uncle Ezra wouldn't left me none c that money ef he could of took 1t along, orat him. 1 don't see no call 10 mourn
 "A few minutes later Jim Fox can,c over. all sprueed up
 ' Tn the midst of life we air in death, Miss Turner said he with a plous sigh Ef you oalkilate to go to the funeral in a hurry I'll be mighty glad to hitch UP an drive you over to the junction. Tn Lord giveth an tn Lord taketh away
 'Thanky, stid Mary Ann, but I don't fgger to go to tn puryin'. Uncle Ezra wouldn't a come [ see ne alive or de.d, an I never V ould run after them that Lever run after me. I'm too proud.
 Well then I'll fix Up your we'll per sisted Jim bound to do something to ease the orphans aching heart. It's so blame wobbley it's a wonder to me tn win lass hain't dropped through long ago. Don let sorrow blight your young life, Miss Turner
 T haint sorrowin'. none to speak of. replied Mary Ann, but it really Is shame full tn way that well-box needs tinker in.
 "so Jim went out and fixed up the weli- box while Sam collopy watched him from his own kitchen window and gritted his teeth. As soon as Jim went away. Sam came out with his and hatchet ard made Mary Anrs chicken coop as good as new, and that very evening he came over to where Mary Ann was sitting cn the front stoop.
 It's amazin what a body kin do with money, Miss Turner he observed, after half an hours talk about the weather and the aeighbors. Now ef a body. fir ir stance, had your lot an mine an three thousan dollars. they could throw the two lots together an build new house. with a bow window an a nice portico with turned posts, an buy that back meadow lot from Lige Peters an start q terrible well payin' chicken farm. 1t hain't right for a lone young woman like you to be without a protector
 Tt souns mighty sensible,' agreed Mary Ann, but I hain't made up my mind what business I'll go into yit.'
 ''The next morning Jim Fox came oTer to shove up the kitchen steps a little b.t-
 q Miss Turner he began when she came to the door might 1 call you Mary Ann?'
 ITO be shorer replied Mary Ann. 'Haint you alIus called me that. ever sence 1 was knee high to a duck?'
 z Yes. but you've growed mp to be a young lady now, and 1t don't seem hard ly proper onless they air tender inten- tions back of It. said Jim with leer. shock of tn dear departed 1 want to talk business with you
 " Well, l reckon I'm night over tn shock now rejoined Mary Ann, so ye kin go right ahead with your hog klllin.'