Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-06-11
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10 me. deGreSt, you VIE he all right.
Eve just insured my life. But sup
pose nothing does happen to your
Life.
First Eoarder What's that loud
Humping noise In the Kitchen? Second
Roarder-It's the landlady hammering
the steak and wishing it was the beef
trust.
Mrs Casey The 6octhor says We
hoy appendicitis. Tim Mr.. Casey
Och Norah, Norah, whoy wor We 50
.ooliSh Ms TO show him yure bank-baok?
Judge
Jcmima Why does dat paderoosky
McGinns wear his hair SO long? Mi
ncrva-Why, don't yer know dat he's
de champeen mouth-organ player Of dc
hloek:-Chicago Daily News.
The reason can't get along with
my wife is that She wants TO submit
all our differences to arbitration" 70
arl,itrationE' Yes. She always wants
10 refer disputes to her mother"
Great guns"' exclaimed the absent
minded man; Il just stuck the lighted
end Of this cigar in my mouth" "Eow
fortunate You were in discovering It
at once, dear rclomcd his good wife.
Woman is naturally of n clngmg
nature observed he Yes" rcjoined
his wife, but She isn't TO bc compared
With Il man when Il comes 10 holding
on 20 iiye-dpllar bilL"-New Yorker
Grinnand Barrett ~ What cured
Cawlboy of his desire to he a trage-
dian? irving Henry oprn-air
treatment He walked home from
Fou-duIac with the thermometer at
zero FIX.
Mr. Meddergrass Who yer sendtn'
the sheep to, Bin? Mr.. Ragweed--
Why, my son Zeb's up to college tryin'
fur a shcepsEin he says, and I'm goln'
ter surprise him with n hull crittcr,--
Chicago Post
DR. Ketchum- by Jove! These cab
companies certainly know how to
charge His Wife Never mind, dear.
It's lucky that the president of tho
company Is a patient of yours
Brooklyn life
Mrs. Cobwiggcr So your husband
thinks his position In society is now
secure? Mrs. Newrich-Yes. He is so
sure about it that he has stopped hir-
ing a dress suit, nnd is having one
made 10 order Judge.
Amateur This Is my latest attempt
ut landscape May | ask what You
think Of the perspective? Artist The
perspective is IT'S strong point. The
I further away you stand tile better It
Iooks.-Chlcago Tribune
AIR Chiefly automobile nerves
/ didn't cut any dash 1T all At the sana-
/ forum. Mrs. Chic-~Why not? MIR.
enthusiastic over n man who has fly
/ ing machine nerves. Puck
The importunate lover had Just pro-
! posed. Let your answer be vowel,
with Il consonant on either side of it,
he gently begged her. The charming
/ girl smiled Very WE'LL she said.
! cit, Cleveland Plain Dealer
\ child thrust: you never saw my
hands rs dirty ms that, said mother.
/ rcproarhfully. H. her little syearold
/ girl " Cause never saw you when
YOU were little girl. " was the prompt
answer. Glasgow Evening Times
In India BARRIERS rank high. Social
~ they are the equals OF the priests"
Say. where do poets come in over
therc?" same place they do here"
"Wherc's that" Among the illuSirl-
Gus dead. "--Chicago Record-Herald
Teacher In The sentence Mary
milks the cow" what is the word COW?
Johnny Cow Is a nom, feminine gen
der. and stands for Mary. Teacher
What nonsense. Why does COW stand
for Mary? johnny 50 Mary can tend
TO the milking.
Van Dauber So Cd Gotr0x fell In
love at first sight with that impossible
Jones girl Why. she IL n perfect
freak! Friend Just so. DO yon know,
old chap II wouldn't he n bad idea 10
yet the old boy around 10 look AT your
pictures Puck.
Noozy Then you don't believe in n
nan marrying his deceased wife's SIS
teri Henpeck-WeH. ] certainly be-
!leyc that Il man who would rush into
thing like that doesn't deserve 10
have lost his first wife at Phila-
delpbia Ledger,
Good morning" said the old gentle
man. ia like 10 look over some Of
your spca9cies" Yes, sir" replied
the clerk, absent-mndedly, that's
what most Of our customers do. It's
just as good as looking through them"
Philadelphia Ledger
Az a sergeant was bawling out his
orders in a barracks In Dublin and
watching the line Of feet as the new
recruits endcayored TO obey the word
Of command, h" found to his astonsh-
ment. that one pair Of feet, more notice
able on account OF their extra large
size, never turned. Without taking his
eyes off those feet, the sergeant bawled
{ ont "A second order. &" huut fnpp" He