davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

avoid any mannerisms calculated to at
tract unfavorable attention.
striking looking woman, well
gowned and carrying herself well, will
always be noticed, which is a compli-
ment to her personality. but to be no
ticed because of any effort on her part
detracts from her personality.
The fiendish woman finds a perfect
delight in making herself conspicuous
and is bent on doing something dis
agreeable that concentrates all eyes
upon her and nlortifies her escort. Such
a one should be kept hermetically
sealed.
Many a woman. no matter what
man may do in his desire to
please her, simply will not be
pleased. and will nag until all en-
joyment either for herself or others
is put out of the question. She re-
solves from the onset that the only
way to manage a husband is to keep
him in deadly fear of her. She scru-
pulously regards ii a matter of con-
science to make a scene whenever and
wherever chance affords an opening,
and no sense Of delicacy or self-respect
restrains her.
1t is no wonder then that men unfor-
tunately mated, or rather mismated,
seek companionship elsewhere.
/ have no sympathy with the woman
who starts out to redress her wrongs
with a rawhide or an acid bottle and
cannot understand the sympathy that
such women arouse. There can be no
doubt that a large percentage Of our
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

comDlacent sort of smile, she must
love me like a prairie fire in a fifty
mile gale or she would not care, and
forthwith he snuggles into this mantle
of self-complacency with real COM
Portable feeling that only a warm, re-
freshing devotion could radiate such
fervid caloric.
Now this is all very we'll as an ap-
petiser, but when administered as
steady diet the average man finds his
mental digestion shy on tackling a
continued feast of tabasco. He can
not cope with the feverish pitch ex-
acted in return, and it pals on his
taste with appalling effect.
The fiendish woman is not sane.
The everyday happenings are seen
through distorted lens.
In the trifles emanating from kind
ness extended her, she sees only
covert insinuaGon or suggestion call
ing for resentment on her part. She
has allowed her mind to dwell so per-
sistently on real or fancied wrongs
that both mind and heart are warped
by the contemplation.
Many men tolerate such women
through abject cowardice-
Morally such women are, generally
speaking. good, because they are too
disagreeable for any one to tempt
them on to be anything else. What man
could approach such a one with either
good or evil intent? He pities the poor
devil who has to bear with her, but
she is perfectly safe as far as others
are concerned
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30
luck IdIeS dndDoan6s OF
By Cherries Dryden

came home. His little boy miners led
him forth and pointed with pride to the
hole He looked about at the yellow
clay smeared over half the fertile gar
den spot on which he had lavished
money and manure. We expected loud
asked quietly:
did you boys dig out all this dirt 2"
Yes, SIR we chortled. "It was my
idea and Bill he"
Every good" father broke in. And
now let me see you put it all back
every grain-or I'll burn the pants of
you both"
That was the bitterest Jolt of my
young life UP to date. Lii all but coll
lapsed. for he believed in the coal fic-
ton and my superior divining rod wis
dom. We buried the dirt in the grave
of blasted hopes and directed the obse-
quies all alone, for no other boys had
been let into the digging and we couldn't
expect help. 1t was awful work filing
up the tunnel pushing in the dirt with
a hoe, and when that job was completed
a period of depression fell upon the
amateur mining industry at Mudville
Later on in the season, being q reso-
lutte promoter, / launched the second
venture. One square away lived the
two Wilson boys, who, luckily, had no
father to butt into their vast and wor-
thy enterprises. The Wilson boys read
lily believed the coal vein I found at
home extended to their place, and a
new company was formed to mine the
stable lot of the Widow Wilson without
securing from her a concession to the
mineral rights.
The new company proceeded on a
mammoth scale, rating a president.
board of directors and row of num-
bered pegs in the barn on which to
hang our mining clothes. A committee
appointed TO steal a batch of miners
lamps from. the pottery made good
with a dozen, one for each stockholder
Though all the digging was done be-
fore and after school in the broad
glare of an effulgent Illinois sun, we
wore the lighted lamps on our brows
just the same. Nothing was too good
for the Dryden Wilson Mining Com
pany, Limited.
In a short time we sunk a square
shaft sixteen feet deep, using a wind
lass and bucket to hoist out the dirt
and coal, when we struck it. The tough
clay sides of the shaft needed no box
ing, else the world might have lost a
bunch of bright intellects in a prema-
ture mine horror. In the event of ac-
cident to the hoisting gear the shaft
boss rigged an emergency ladder, built
of two sixteen-foot fence boards bor-
rowed from the widow. These boards
were set upright against one wall of
the shaft and fitted with rungs nailed
on.
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

and degrades a woman.
Strange to say women are star per-
formers in these dual scenes, and a
woman possessed Of fiendish proclivities
always selects the most conspicuous
places to make her spectacular display.
In this rapid era, when it is no un-
for glass + of wine. liquor or mixed
drinks with male companions. 1t is an
interesting study to note the effect on
various women. Few can stand the In
sidious influence, and when one can she
is simply hearts delight for her COM
panion. If a woman has anything of
the fiend in her makeup a few drinks
will quickly bring 1t to the surface,
when she will become reminiscent and
exploit all the old scores she has ac-
cumulated for months against her es-
cort, until her face becomes purple with
rage and she forgets all the self-respect
or good breeding that should guard her
against such exhibitions. When wom-
an knows that wine has this effect
upon her, for her own sake she should
let it severely alone.
A cultivated and refined man always
fears first entertainment with wom-
an. He wonders how she will dress,
how she will conduct herself, how wine
will affect her. and will feel his way
tertainment before he braves the un-
certainties of a large public function.
A man really likes woman who can
share his libations and keep a level
head, but the woman who becomes
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

the procession and vote right" when
the time came. The heavy work was
attended to by sundry gentlemen who
sat in a secluded chamber doing vari-
Gus stunts in simple addition and ex-
perimenting with new kind of dou-
ble-ended campaign pledge with a Sc
cret exit at the rear.
d. Webster suspected that there was
something crooked about the business,
but he reflected that life is COM
promise-when it isn't a surrender
and that sometimes ii is necessary to
stoop to conquer. This seemed to him
to be one of the times. After he was
firmly planted in the executive saddle
he could bid fond adieu to those who
had given him a leg up. At any rate,
he was sure that he was a much better
man than any one else they could have
found and. fortified by that soothing
reflection, he took his oath to support
the constitution and not to suspend the
bylaws any oftener than public policy
seemed to demand. There were several
other things which he was under obli-
gaticn to support, but he didn't men
ton those at the time.
The first move that D. Webster made
after he had landed the mustard was
to go after the railroads for the back
taxes which his predecessor had over
looked. 1t looked like an easy game,
but the next day he discovered that
each road was the mainstay Of more
widows than he had ever dreamed ex
listed and that if the taxes were paid
said bereaved would have to go hungry
and homeless. That being the case he
concluded that he had better try some
other way of increasing the revenues
of the State, insisting. however. that
he was still the only honest Governor
in the business. The insurance COM
panies looked like easy money till he
discovered that he owed his election to
a promise which his chairman had
made to the big ones in the flre-bug
business that the status quo ante
would not be disturbed. About this
time d. Webster began to have a sus-
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

damp. AS the frenzied blaster couldn't
see very well, the company took des-
perate chance, hoisted him up and
scattered like flock OF quail. He was
able and willing to lick the whole
bunch, and we knew it. The tough
clay confined the loosely tamped pow
der, and the bulk OF the discharge, like
that from gun. had passed above him,
and Sloats was not damaged, except in
his pride. Our first and last blast
failed to uncover any coal. yet the pow
der was not wholly wasted.
Next morning before daylight Roger
Wilson, the mine boss, routed me out.
His mothers only cow had fallen into
the shaft over night and broken most
of her legs, her neck and her spine IN
three places, SO Roger said In tragic
whispers. Anyhow, the COW was
corpse, and Roger was doing q Paul
Revere ride on foot, passing a hurry
call among the directors for an urgent
meeting at the mine.
In the pale gray light OF dawn
crowd Of terror-stricken kids stood
about the hole and peered in at the
COW, who seemed to be standing on her
horns. To the dullest mind present 1t
was apparent that dead COWS have no
value, while live boys must look to
their future Therefore, since the vii
son cow was dead and buried, all but
the covering up. there was no sense get
ing her out and creating needless sor-
row scenes among the women and chill
dren at the mouth Of the pit So we
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

picion that he was going to lose his
ante if he didn't look sharp. Being
good and holding Office at the same
time didn't appear to be such a simple
proposition as when he had regarded
it from the outside.
AT any rate he assured his conscience
he would never submit to having pub
lie Office made anything other than a
public trust. He believed this for near
'ly week, when his State chairman in
formed him that the thing for him to
do was to bust the trust and appoint
Billy Mccain trustee of the State uni
versity. Billy McCann's chief claim to
glory and a lien on the State treasury
lay in the fact that he owned a brew
cry and fifty saloons and could de-
liver the Mack vote without hitch
in the rollcall. Again d. Webster rec
ognized the inevitable at sight and
succumbed. still cherishing In his heart
the theory that he was so far superior
to other men that he was worth the
money whether he jugged all the ras-
Gals or not. Merely to have q truly
good man in Office is uplifting. whether
he works at his trade or not.
In addition to swallowing most OF
the promises he had made to the great
but exceedingly common people before
election-and keeping those he had
made to the still greater but uncom-
mon powers behind the throne-he
began to hustle around to make sure
that he wouldn't be out OF a job when
the next election was over. This time
he didn't wait for the politicians to
ask him for promises: he had them
all typewriter and ready to be de-
livered- The next election passed and
d. Webster still adorned the executive
mansion and ever and anon broke forth
with his sweet song about the dearth
of honesty in public life He ought to
know. His secret conclusion is that
it is easy to be good as long as there
is no temptation to be otherwise, and
that he who stoops to conquer is likely
to be round shouldered all the rest OF
his life.
Copyright, 1904. by Albert Britt)
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30
An
Ocean
Graveyard

The most important headland in the
world is Cape Race. the southeastern
extremity Of Newfoundland. 1t has
also most unenviable notoriety.
Some of the most terrible tragedies
in marine annals have occurred on this
rugged, dangerous foreshore. An official
chart shows the disasters there during
the past forty years. Together with
some not inscribed thereon they repre-
sent a total OF ninety-four complete
wrecks of ocean going Ivessels-steam-
ers and sailors-involving a loss OF
about two thousand lives, and $4,000
900 in hulls and cargoes. Ships which
stranded and afterward escaped are not
Included. Last year alone eight steam
and two sailing vessels came to grief
there. thirty-fiye persons perished, and
a property loss of $1,000. go was in
volved. u
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

lords of creation would be vastly bene-
fitted by a little strenuous disciplining
and society might be improved by the
vigorously enforced change of heart,
but the woman who fancieS that she
a much needed lesson by making such
herself rather labels herself with a
would seem to justify a man in his de-
sertion or neglect of her. A woman
who win carry her resentment this far
win naturally have INDUCED in a thou
sand and one petty spites leading up
to it, which have driven a man to seek
companionship elsewhere.
1t is no uncommon sight in the large
and fashionable cafes of New York to
see g. woman quarreling viciously with
her escort, and often, if one can catch
the words, they will find that the man
is making every effort to conciliate a
jealous fiend, who couldn't be happy IL
she were the only Eve and had the
whole run of paradise.
Men at other tables, and within hear
ing distance, bet drinks that such and
such couples are married, and say that
they can readily spot the bachelors
and benedicts when dining out
If a woman could be made to realize
the horror that permeates a mans soul
toward one who figures in scenes, she
would curb her disposition in that re-
gard.
Very often no reason exists for the
abusive tirade that mortifies a man
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

II women who select street cars.
shops, railroad trains, street corners.
dining cafes and theaters as the scenes
Tor making public exhibition OF fend-
ish temper, and for ventilation OF do
mestic broils, realized how revolving a
spectacle they present, and could hear
the comments OF enforced hearers, they
would cultivate sufficient self-control
TO Keep In reserve such quantities as
would be guaranteed to last until at
least the privacy OF home was reached.
One f1endish woman can spoil the
pleasure Of any party whether 1t num-
bers . or 500, and the aggravating part
is that she is so self-satished and
thinks herself not only Justified. but
also perfectly right, If not actually
clever.
A man welded to such a woman fs
positively pitiable- He IS perforca a
coward, or rather he Is so completely
at her mercy that he bears silently
in the hope of avoiding scenes, and
will neglect his friends that he NAV
protect them from being subjected to
her wantOn malice, or being witnesses
Of his humiliation.
She is supposed to be a good woman.
and she is, as far as morality consti-
the same. The courts will not free him.
he cannot harness her tongue and he
cannot kill her, and yet. goodness
knows, there are scores OF men who
will agree with me that such murders
ought to be legalized.
KATE THYSON MARI.
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

the nation generally. There were sew
eral other things which he declared
he had been chosen to do, but we for
get what they were at this particular
moment. D. Webster wasn't shy on
specific remedies either, which he in
tended to apply when he should be
boosted into power. He informed the
voters of the commonwealth that IL
they would present him with a four
years lease of the big house on the
hill rent free he would make the rail-
roads, insurance companies and other
impudent concerns which insisted on
paying dividends and objecting to be-
ing taxed more than private citizens
come into his presence on bended knee.
There would be no leniency shown to
such miserable sinners when he was
It.
Furthermore, D. Webster assured
the open mouthed-and presumably
open minded-populace that he had a
sure tip on the source of legislative,
SACCullFc dHN JuOACld4 lIllQulIy ana tnaL
when he got through with 1t there
wouldn't be hole in the State deep
enough to hide those who now fat
tened at the public crib.
Either the source Of the aforesaid in
iquity would be damned or he would.
This kind Of talk handed out to the
general public In large punches, sup
plemented by an occasional magazine
article just to make an impression
on the upper crust, began to have an
effect after a while. People began to
wonder il he were not at least half
as good as he said he was. and when
people begin to think that they are
usually looking around for an Office to
fit the object of their n1editations
That's another queer thing about our
political game; as soon as man gets
a reputation for unusual virtue we i'm
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

filled in the shaft without pausing for
breath, and took the oath OF secrecy
on tin dagger above the unmarked
grave OF that careless but worthy bo-
vine.
Mystery OF the Cow.
OF course the widow missed the COW.
and lot Of diligent, self-sacrifcing
boys were willing to give up their
studies and help the widows sons seek
that which was lost The board OF di-
rectors, to a. boy, responded nobly. and
for weeks parents wrote excuses to
teachers on behalf Of the COW. Singly
and in groups the reformed coal diggers
spent whole days in the boslky dells
and sylvan glades adjacent to Mudville.
carrying popguns, lunch and angle
worms In tireless search. but so far
as know the COW was never found.
At the same time, the mishap at the
mine thwarted my career as a mining
promoter, and I'm glad of It, The love OF
fishing acquired and fostered during the
futile probing Of the Mudville Cow
Mystery Is now the one solace Of my
declining years. / had rather fish and
lie than be rich One day. perhaps. in
future ages, excavators will come upon
the skull and bones OF a prehistoric
Mudville COW buried sixteen feet under
ground. Should this narrative. be pre-
served, 1t may aid the archaeologist.
Next week the dope deals with being
stage-struck and learning a trade at
Mudvtlle.
Copyright. 1904, by Charles Dryden.)
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

shouldn't there be coal in our back yard
II he only thought so? Bill was a pep
perry kid, full of force long before Sum
ny Jin's time, and would make a
valued assistant In the mining venture.
IF I prove there is coal in the lot
will you help me dig?" I asked Bill.
He said he would, and 1 soon con-
WINGED that easy mark, being a natural
born promoter myself. Reading was
my only vice at that date. In order to
get at the books 1 bunkoed the Warner
County Library Association in the most
cruel and sordid manner. Twice each
week in winter / toted half ton of
coal In buckets up three flights OF stairs
from cellar under the sidewalk. The
librarian was a very old man with two
cork legs, and on that account he was
ashamed to be seen carrying the coal
himself.
In return for my trihing service the
librarian gave me a book privilege
ticket, good for six months, and worth
81 So 1t makes me blush even now to
think now swindled that poor old man,
but was like the druDkard away from
his can. My very. being thirsted for
choice miscellany, useful facts worth
Knowing and light summer reading in
winter. A deep and soulful longing for
knowledge made me desperate, and /
soon picked up a lot about coal-in
Well, 1 had read of the divining rod,
and with that bit of witchery worked
Bill to the limit. First 1 salted the
onion bed just west of the raspberry
patch, by planting fat lump of coal
six inches underground and marking
the spot. Then, with an apple twig in
the form of Y, I led Bill to his doom.
He followed, pop-eyed. while l trailed
about the garden, holding the divining
rod hv the double ends, with the stem
of the Y pointing straight ahead. At
the proper place the magic stem bent
downward, and / whis' -ed hoarsely
to Bill:
dig here for treasured"
/ allowed him to dig, and when Bill
uncovered the Jumps of coal, he became
lit UP with the most gorgeous blaze Of
enthusiasm 1 ever beheld in a human
being. That was promoting some, all
right. Bill wanted to dig on the night
shift, toe, but l wouldn't let him. In
a few days we sunk shaft five or six
feet deep and ran a drift to one side
in search of the mother lode. To sup
port the roof of the tunnel we knocked
the rain water barrel to pieces, sawed
the slaves in half and braced them up
with timbers taken from the family
woodpile. This was the only time we
ever tackled the bucksaw in the role
of little volunteers.
Put 1t All Back Again.
The tunnel had drifted in all of ten
feet when our male parent and provider
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

which proved a boomerang. The Sec
ond assayed one mild hammered COW be-
longing to a widow, and a series of
short school vacations on which I could
draw at sight. Moreover, the stock
holders in my company declared them
selves in on the dividend, and an era
OF prosperity struck the town.
The amateur mining craze first broke
out in our own back yard. There was
nothing to ii, / thought, but a neat lit
tie coal business at home, and perhaps
a pottery on the side. When the idea
olossomed, 1 spoke to my younger
brother. Bill, about it.
A Natural-Born Promoter.
Whats the use of digging where
there amt no coal?" inquired the prac-
tical Bill.
That is where the nromoter gets up
against it always. The trouble with
Bill was he lacked imagination. Why
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30

sister or sweetheart, who did
not make a good appearance and con-
duct herself at all times as a lady
should.
The question Of a good appearance,
which is simply one of being gowned
according TO ones condition Of life and
suitab bic TO the occasion, is not mat
ter Of expenditure, but Of taste and
judgment in the selection Of such col
ors or combination Of colors as are be-
coming 10 the wearer.
A woman may be gowned very in
extensively and yet carry herself with
the air OF one TO the manner born.
A woman's gowns should be SUBJ
junctive 10 and an exponent of her
personality and not take precedence
OF the woman herself In other words,
we should see the woman rather than
the gown
A man is always proud Of COM
panion whom his friends notice and
compliment and would infinitely prefer
that she should be remarked as
charming woman than as one magnifi-
Gently gowneo.
When a woman is we'll groomed the
next consideration is that she should
The San Francisco call., 1904-10-30
FaABEEs For I1E FooLlsn-B1 N,o>so,.As 1vr>4o.

least, but we don't seem to be able to
keep out Of Jail and have a good time
simultaneously. That is the reason for
the poets remark that a little Jug
ging now and then is relished by the
best of men," Another reason why it
is not as easy to be good as the Sunday
school books try to make US believe
is that so few people recognize the
symptoms. Apparently the world is
too wicked to know virtue when 1t
meets il on the street and usually
thinks that it is some new kind of sin
In disguise.
All of the above wise remarks were
intended only as a prelude to a thrill
ing account Of the tragic career of that
seeker after righteousness, D. Webster
veribest. d. Webster wasn't a poll
tician; he was a reformer That is to
say, he was a statesman who couldn't
get any one to agree with him If the
reformers ever get any one to believe
what they say they will be the most
disappointed people on earth. Half
the fun of being simon pure reformer
is in standing on the sidewalk and
checking brickbats at the men in the
procession. But as we attempted
to say before D. Webster veribest be-
gan his political career as a reformer.
What we wanted. he would say. was
more honesty in public life. 1t might
have been pointed out to him that that
valuable commodity was always more
or less desirable even in private life.
but it never does any good to tell any
thing to a reformer. That's what
makes them so useful-to their enemies.
OF course d. Webster was aware Of
the fact that his destiny was to cleanse
the Augean stables. to strangle the
hydra of corruption, to beat back the
hosts of political darkness to their
abode in primeval chaos and to save