St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1904-11-02
Planting the
Financial
Tin Can
Don't Expect to Grow a Crop
of Tomatoes From the One
Printed on the Label
From 'Old Gorgon Graham; More
Letters From q Self Made Merchant to
HIS Son." by George Horace Lorimer.
By permission of Doubleday, Page d
Co., Publishers.


money you make, I want you to I'M
derstand that there's only one place in
the world where you can live happy
life, and that's inside your income. A
family that's living beyond it's means
is simply business that's losing mon
ey, and it's bound to go to smash. And
to keep a safe distance ahead of the
sheriff you've got to make your wife
help. More men go broke through bad
management at home than at the Of
fee. And I might add that lot of
men who are used to getting only one
dollars worth of food for five dol
lar bill downtown expect their wives
to get five dollars worth of food for q
one dollar bill at the corner grocery
and to save change toward a pair OF
diamond earrings. These fellows would
plant a tin can and kick because they
didn't get case of tomatoes.
Of course some women put their
husbands salaries on their backs in
stead Of his ribs, but there are a heap
more men who burn up their wives
new sealskin sacks in two bit cigars.
Because a mans a good provider it
doesn't always mean that he's a good
husband; it may mean that he's hog.
And when there's cuss in the family,
and it comes down to betting which.
on general principles the man always
carries my money. I make mistakes
at it, but it's the only winning sys-
tenn I've ever been able to discover in
games Of chance.
You want to end the wedding trip
with business meeting and talk to
your wife quite as frankly as you
would to a man whom you'd taken In
to partnership. Tell her just what
your salary is and then lay it out be-
tween you-so much for joint ex-
penses, the house and the housekeep-
ing, so much for her expenses, SO
much for yours and so much to be
saved. That last Is the one item on
which you can't afford to economic.
It's the surplus and undivided profits
account of your business, and until
the concern accumulates big one 1t
isn't safe to move into offices on Easy
street
A lot of fool fathers only give their
fool daughters a liberal education in
spending, and it's pretty hard to teach
those women the real facts about
earning and saving, but it's got to be
done unless you want to be the fool
husband of a fool wife. These girls
have an idea that men get money by
going to a benevolent old party be-
hind some brass bars and showing
check at him and telling him that they
want it in fifties and hundreds.
You should take home your salary
in actual money for awhile and ex-
plain that it's all you got for sweating
like dog for ten hours a day through
six long days and that the cashier
handed it out with an expression as
II you were robbing the cash drawer
Of an orphan asylum. Make her I'M
derstand that while those that have
get, when they present check, those
that haven't get it in the neck. Elk
plain that the benevolent old party is
only on duty when papa's daughter
has papa that Bradstreet rates AA,
and that when papa's daughters hus.
band presents a five dollar check with
a ten cent overdraft he's received by
a low browed old brute who calls for
the bouncer to put him out. Tell her
right at the start the worst about the
butcher, and the grocer, and the Ice
man, and the mflkman, and the
plumber, and the gas meter-that they
want their money and that it has to
come out of that little roll Of bills.
Then give her enough to pay them,
even If you have to grab for your
lunch from high stool. I used to
know an old Jew who said that the
man who carved was always a fool
or hog, but you've got to learn not
to divide your salary on either basis.
Make your wife pay cash. A woman
never really understands money till
she's done that for awhile. I've no.,
ticed that people rarely pay down the
money for foolish purchases; they
charge them. And it's mighty seldom
that a woman's eXtravagant unless she
or her husband pays the bills by check.
There's something about counting out
the actual legal tender on the spot that
keeps a woman from really wanting
lot Of things which she thinks she
wants.