Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-01-30
AS YOU LIKE IT.
Some Stray Leaves From Reporters
 Note Book.

Displayed 1n a conspicuous place in bne of Waterbury's leading saloons During the past week was the follow ng sign: "Au nations are welcomed here except Carrie" The sign attract Ed much attention and was the sub Beet of many amusing remarks. But euch sign was not needed, for Carrie was too busy in entertaining large au- hences at the theater during the week Eo pay any unwelcome visits to the places where they dispense the intoxi- pants. And, besides, there is more money in vaudeville than in smashing Saloons, even though you have to cast hsade a principle or two.
 
 In one of the local schools during Ehe past week the teachers were giving thN pupils their reading lesson. In she course of the lesson the word cob web appeared. The teacher asked the children the meaning of the word, but @t was an enigma to them and for sew eral minutes not a hand was raised in seply. Finally one little girl, with a Book of triumph on her face, raised her hand. When the teacher called klpon her the other children awaited In suspense the reply, which was as fol- lows: 'gEhOse are the things that we zhave in the parlor of our house."
 .AH
 Ane1t the investigation which the board of education is conducting is conducting in regard to the relative merits of the vertical and slant sys- ken1s of writing and the statement of Arthur M. Hitchcock of the Water zbury Brass company, that the con- cern couldn't find decent writer, correspondent thinks that it would be Inappropriate to publish the following caipping; .
 Advice to Correspondents. Never write with Den or ink. It is Sa1together too plain and doesn't hold the minds of the editor and printers eFosely enough to their work. '
 Don't punctuate. We prefer to uunctuate all manuscript sent to us, and don't use capitals. Then we can punctuate and capitalize to suit our zselves, and your article. when you see 1t in. print, will astonish, even if it does not please you.
 Don't try to write too plainly. Poor writing is an indication of genius. ft's about the only indication of genius lthat great many men possess EScrawl your article with your eyes =shut and make every word as Hlegible zas you can. We get the same price flor 1t from the rag man as though 1t were covered with copper plate sen 5tences. Avoid all painstaking with proper names. We know the full name of ev- zery man, woman and child in the Limited States, and the merest hint at |the name is sufficient. For instance, If you write a character something like drunken figure ''S' and then IdTaw wavy line we will know at once that you mean Samuel Morrison, even though you think you mean Lem |uel Messenger.
 Always write on both sides of the lpaper, and when you have filled both |sfdes of every page, trail a line up and down the margin and back to the top lof the first page, closing your article |by writing the signature Just above (the date. How we do love to get hold of articles written in this style. And how we would like to get hold |of the man that sends them, just for for ten minutes, alone in the Woocs, with a. cannon in our hip pocket. Coarse brown wrapping paper is the best for writing your articles on. If you can tear down an old circus poster and write on the pasty side of it with a pen stick. it will be stiH better. When your articles are completed crunch your paper in your pocket and carry it two or three days before sending it. This rubs off the ~s1rpe1,f1u- ous pencil marks and makes it lighter to handle. If you can think of it lose one page cut of the middle of your article. We can easily supply what is missing. and we love to do it. We have nothing else to do.-Brrlingto Hawkeye.