davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
MONKEY PLAYS A JOKE.
Catches Crow and Puts II in Pot to
Take Place Of Fowl He Filches.

A funny story is told of an English
man who was in India, and who owned
a monkey that vas as mischievous as
most monkeys are. Looking out OF
his window one day the gentleman
saw his cook p~lucking a fowl prepare
tory to cooking it for dinner. On the
ground at a little distance lay the
monkey, pretending that he was dead,
while a flock Of crows were hopping
about a little way distant, divided be
tween the desire for the kitchen offal
and the fear of the possibly shamming
monkey. One crow, more adventurous
than the rest, came within the magic
distance and was instantly in the
clutch of the monkey. At the same
moment the cook, having finished
trussing the fowl, put it into the pot
and went away.
The monkey plucked the crow as he
had just seen the cook pluck the
fowl, took the fowl out Of the pot.
put the crow in, and retired with his
exchange. When the cook came back
and saw the fowl left preparing for
his masters luncheon turned black he's
was struck with terror, believing that
the evil one had interfered to bring
about such a startling result. Mean
time the monkey was enjoying the
fowl he had stolen.-Detroit News,
Tribune.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
The .Yv in the Railroad.

"Oncc upon a time in an infantile
metropolis Of the West, there lived a
grand!loquent real estate dealer and
an air castle carpenter.
The sedulous zeal estate agent was
not doing lany body very we'll. and
the other fellow had tried everything
else and failed, so they decided to
start something,
As might be expected. they finally
concluded that a nice little country
paper would be about the easiest
money going. or course neither knew
a shuoting.stick from a tympan.shect,
but both were born editors" and &C.
uuainted with the local publisher.
who didn't know much anyhow-and
was getting rich at II,
Now. my deduction is said
Bo0mit. the real estate man. getting
chesty, that II Jobbor, who almost
has paresis. can successfully hood
wink the public into liquidating. We
You and I-can make Midas borrow
a stack of blues in about six months
and a fraction"
The argument was philosophical and
appealed to Dolittle, the fellow who
wasn't very busy anyhow, and they
set off enthusiastically for the town
Junk pile. where they unearthed a
printing outfit in about We jerks of
a muttor.chop's caudal appcndage.
Then they bought two excursion
tickets. rode as far as they had it
printed on EN-, and disembarking, be-
gan a hOt-foot up the railroad track
toward Utopia-which is in the die
tionary, but not on the map-carry.
ing their "shirttail' outfit between
them.
They didn't know exactly where
they were. or whittier they were 60
ing. but II was SO easy to make money
in the newspaper business wherever
there were people and green grass,
that it didn't matter much anyhow
and they trudged along joyously.
practising on the use of the editorial
I'VE" and "ye editor begs to aeknowl-
edge" etc.
Dolittle. long, lank and cadaverous,
was carrying a bucket of ink in one
hand. a planer IN the other. and about
his neck danClcd ten feet Of press
tape. From his pocket the editorial
scissors protruded at an angle of As
degrees FahrenhCit-or about that
height.
Boomit, short. fat and oleaginous,
was staggering along under the
weight Of u mallet. a press.roller and
a grip-full of type-lice!
Thus they proceeded toward the
Land Of the Long Felt Want, where
people were lying awake nights
rying about the light crop OF news.
papers and praying for more rain!
The day was torrid, and despite
thir inner %buoyancy, the literary itin.
Grants began to lather a little at the
turn of the road-and other places!
Great gloDules of perspiration rolled
down Boomit's body-for he was
greasy and built like a key of nails!
Every few stems Dolittle would stop
and fan the front of his %throbbing
undcrshirt, and suggest starting a
newspaper ''on the spot"
There's plenty of green grass
around here" ne argued. waving his
long arm in a scmi.circle, land won't
the people come in omnibuses when
we get 'er started?'
But better Judgment prevailed, and
after a time they sighted a village
church spire! Then, abruptly round.
ing a curve. they came face to face
with a "Y' in the road,
On each side OF the ~" was a sign.
board One read:
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
Made Clear.

Bryan's tariff plank, in which he
caused the Democrats to %dcnounce
protection as a robbery of the many
to enrich the few, is rather at vari-
ance with the Bourbon claim that it is
not opposed to the system which safe.
guards American labor. II is a good
thing that the Nebraskan was per.
mitted TO make the position Of the
party of which he is still the real, II
not the nominal. leader perfectly
plain, otherwise We should have heard
Parker's stump orators assert that he
is not disposed to strike at the exist.
ing industrial system.-San Francisco
Chronicle.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
The Mortoaqe Litter,


Hail. 70 the hog The American hog!
The plaheian, groveling thing of the bog.
The bristlc-baCkcd scurvy-skinned ignO-
b, dog
OF Il hog!
Ho. TO the pig, the slop-eating pig!
The unreiincd. wallowing suffer OF
The ,ulrar-mouthed. mental son-of-a-
sN!g
Wool" big pig!
Ho. T. the SOW. the fccundious SOW,
The teetcr-tit, fabby-choppod, old row.
dy-dow.
The sackS-shaped, rooty-nosed. old pork
sr's rau-
oh, thou SOW!
Hers to them all, the ignoble pen,
Tho loathsomest hogoos of pig-sty and
The mu~ddy-noscd. tilted-cyed. saviours OF
on the farm,
Sing yc a song of America hog.
dollar marked grunter that's built
like "A log.
The gold weighted shooter that clears
away fog
From the farm,
Marble Of humming birds. lovers and
The poetic metre, the fair woman's face.
Dame symmetry form that Is fashioned
In grace
But the hog
Eemembcr the hog. the suueaIing old hog
mat iattens himself on sour swill. in
the bog,
lis he In our business IL banker lin
cog
Fin fat pork!
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

yellow dogs waggcd their tails rs en-
couragiugly as could be expected by
utter strangers!
Well, Dolittle and Boomit an.
nounced that they would begin with a
write-up of the town, and the corner
groceryman, who was going to begin
business soon, said maybe he'd adj
vertise after the first year. If the pa.
pe- showed evidence of stability!
With light hearts Boomit and Dolit.
tie went to work. They set a neat
editorial card that read like this:
THE WHISTLE CREEK MoCKING.
BIRD
Subscription Price soc a Year
Garden Truck A%ccepted.)
Published Every Thursday Evening
Alexander Bing Boomit 49, Manager
AL. Simpson Dolittle 49, Editor.
Now is the Time to Subscribe!
Then they went out where the
green grass was growing and started
to do business. Whenever they met
anybody, they got the glad hand. and
tht NtlIoN uOSS DdIhtu HOSDltdDlN-
but there didn't seem to be any big
contracts! That night the literary
gents" dug a few greens. and went to
sleep alongside the railroad track!
They were weary and somewhat sur
prised-but not discouraged!
And here, oh, gentle reader, begins
the tear.splashed part of this nara.
tive,
About midnight. the fast mail train,
sweeping like a demon through Whis-
tie Crick. threw out a huge sample
copy bundle Of Chicago papers. The
massive roll vent HURTING through the
right-of.way like a torpedo through a
Russian cheese,
And Boomit, s%lumbering with Nor.
pheus and Dolittlc beside the iron
rail, was struck and telescoped.
He lived but a leeting moment and
his last words were:
'Partner-don't 49, give - mp 49, Il
cditorial-ship!"
Alas. Poor Boomit." walled Dolit.
tie, standing aioft. while tears of woe
fell with sodden tnud upon the dead
mans flannel shirt-"Poor, poor
Boomit. And we just getting such a
good start
Then the chief mourner ran uptown
and spread the diretul news.
Squire Dingem shook his head sad
ly, and the corner groceryman said he
had felt all along the town wasn't big
enough to support a newspaper.
Dolittle. daZed and weeping. hung
around all next day, soldering softly
to himself, but when the evening shad-
W fell asiant the cottonwoods and
painted silhouettes on the bosom Of
Whistle Crick, he mournfully with
drew up the railroad track, chanting
Il requiem OF sorrow as he went!
The e day. a Russian junk ped
der swooped down upon Whistle
Crick and its print shop with a writ
of replevin, the current issue of the
trade paper said: The Whistle Crick
Mockingbird has cease to mock
and the people lived happily ever aft
erward.
Moral-Most any gazabo can starr
something.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
HIS SHEET.
Splendid Showing Made by Uncle Sam
in Fiscal Matters.

That celebrated campaign poster,
Uncle Sans Balance Sheet" with its
convincing array Of statistics demon.
strating the contrasts between Repub-
lican and Democratic management OF
national affairs, is once more in evi.
deuce, brought down to date. II is be-
ing distributed by the American Pro
tective Tariff league. and is available
in large or small quantities for cam.
paign use. A new and striking add
ton to the poster will attract attention
and furnish a complete answer to the
Democratic contention that the in
crease in cost OF living has far exceed.
ed the increase in wages since the res.
toration of protection in 1897. In the
extreme upper left and right hand cor
ners of the poster are the figures
which tell that the increase II wages
has far exceeded the incret..e In cost
of living. In the upper left hand cor
ner. directly above the portrait Of half
starved Uncle Sam, as he appeared in
the period Of Democratic tariff making,
appears the following:
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
Yield of a Vermont Berry Patch.

Earl w. Peterson OF East Berkshire
has a patch Of strawberries brandy
wine) III feet by 43 feet, from which
he has picked fourteen or fifteen bush
els. One morning he gathered eighty,
seven baskets, the patch the day ben
fore being picked clean. As to the
size of the berries. a few measured
five inches in circumference and th!r-
ty berries fill the basket.-St. Johns
bury Republican.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
To a lady's Eyebrow.

All. dainty eyebrows fairy-faint.
TITS thine to make me fend or saint;
Beseech thy mistress hear my plant,
Dim tracings of n fairy brush,
Sea pinions in n paintings hukN,
Moon-shadows through an ,eiIals NM
Those eyes you shade. In hooking mood
Like welkin rockets glorious-hued.
Wee goblin boats seen upside down.
Pray, lovely eyebrows. never trown'
Hold natures shape Ike Nelie's gown
, Eew Orleans Times Democrat
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
One Hog Was Enough.

4 Cass county man who never sub
scribed to a newspaper in his life
went to an editor the other day and
asked him to let the public know
through his paper that he had a sew
ing machine to trade for two hogs.
He wanted the lad" free. The editor,
looked at the man a moment and then
replied: 81 can't see what you want
the hogs for as long as you're around
home so much yourself."-Kansas City
Star.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
Condolences.

The number Of condolences Of ad-
versity and Democracy in the law
and in the nation is so large that it is
difficult tor the Democrats to explain
II with credit to the last Democratic
administration. The number of coin
cidences OF prosperity under Repub-
lican administrations is so large that
1t Is difficult for the Democrats to ex-
plain them without giving the Repub-
licans a disagreeably large amount Of
credit.-Lewiston (Me.) Journal.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
IL
MILES
TO
HICK'RY HOLLER.

and they went to Whistle Crick,
The entire ~populace Of the Crick
turned out en- masse to greet the new
editors!
Both Squire Dingem and OF Man
Binker said they'd subscribe, The
boy with a stone.bruise on his heel
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

A mean old "g~eezer" down in New
Jersey is using his first girls picture
to scare the rats from his hen house.
He probably has forgotten when faith
er's shotgun couldn't scare him away
from the original-which proves he
either didn't have even rat sense in
those days or is a complete mental
deformity at the present time!
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

This Is the season Of the year when
the erubescent maiden and the awk-
ward swain get married at the county
fair, or the town carnival, amid the
plaudits of gathered thousands. In
after life it must be sweet music to
their ears to be known as that there
couple that got tied at the Berrien
county fair
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

As the Fall approaches. nearer and
nearer come the rehearsal echoes OF
the %altiloquent campaigner from his
practice stump in the forest primeval.
Rhetorical bombast reverberates from
afar off, like harbingers of the storm
that sweeps in fury later on. In the
inimitable p%arlancc Of the slangist,
We're up ag'in' it!'--this is campaign
year!
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

of tariff stability for the next four
years:
Elect me Republican national ticket!
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

About the hardest luck eXtant was
that of the young man who, married
but three days. vas drawn IN the jury
and accepted in a case that lasted
three weeks with two days and nights
for a verdict. A man is entitled to a
pension for such service to his coun,
try.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

When a young married couple with
their first baby go visiting and the
young husband carries a package I'M
der his arm, all the old married folks
know what's in the bundle without
looking.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

II you haven't anything to say, let
the other fellow say 1t and make o
monkey Of himself.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

The envious man misses his own
blessings In coveting those Of others.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

Many a woman that could not cook
has made a noble mother and none of
her som in after life was in a position
to make his wife unhappy by refer.
ence to the biscuits mother used &c
make.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
SENATE A BULWARK?
WOULD DEMOCRATIC SUCCESS
RESULT IN TARIFF STABILITY

II ls by No Means Certain That .
Democratic President and House
Could Not Force Through Congress
a Measure for Immediate Tariff Re-
ductior.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

The graminivorous bovine in the
pasture Is just about now getting an
adjunct of corr meal and bran to
stimulate a tactical flow. To even
things, the kid that drives her Is hit
ting the apple barrel in the cellar reg.
ularly. We, of the city, don't get all
the good things of life.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
Savings Bank Deposits,
$1,747, 961,2S0.

In the opposite corner. above the
prosperous, portly figure of Uncle Sam,
as he has looked ever since the pass.
age OF the Dingley tariff law in 1897.
is the contrasting statement:
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

Many a man that kicks another
when he is down refrains from kick
ing q dog when 1t has a tin can tied
to its tail. Our sympathy for misused
brutes is frequently more marked
than our pity for human beings.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

ceeded the increase in living expenses.
In no other way Aould the increase in
savings bank deposits have occurred.
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
MILES
WHISTLE CRICK.


and the other one:
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23

That enormous total represents the
gain of the wealth of wage earners.
IL they gained that much more they
must have saved that much more.
The increase in wages must have ex-
The Red Cloud chief., 1904-09-23
1908
Savings Bank Deposits,
$685. 0A. 9A5.


The gain in savings deposits in 1908
over 1894 is
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1904-08-28
WILL GIVE A BENEFIT
FOR BOYS ORPHANAGE
Country Fair at San Nateo to Start
Fund i'm Aid of Institutions
Buildings

AS benefit for the Bishop Armitage
Orphanage for Boys at San MateO a
country fair will be held next Satur-
day afternoon at "Uplands," the resi-
dence of Charles T. Croker and Miss
Crocker.
The board of managers says that
great efforts must be made in the near
future to obtain new buildings, as the
OLD wooden structures are in a bad
condition and it is nearly useless to
repair them. The heavy debt hanging
over the institution has been lifted and
at the beginning of the new year the
board hopes a substantial building
fund will be in progress.
As start in this direction the coun-
try fair is expected to set the ball roll
ing and the help of the community is
earnestly asked. Nearly 200 boys are
cared for by the Orphange and much
IS needed in every way for their COM
fort.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1904-08-28
OF FAMILY
FOR TWENTY-NINE YEARS
10 Russian Contest of KOrn-
fields VIII Explains Why Annie
Smith Was Left S6O. 600

The reason for Charles Kornfeld be-
queathing 100000 to Annie T. Smith
in his Will and leaving the remainder
o. his large estate to his widow, Vir-
glnia Kornfeld, is explained in the an
swer filed in court yesterday to the
contest of the will commenced by the
attorney of Joseph Guzik of Warsaw,
Russia, nephew of Kornfeld. The an
swer is filed by Attorneys Lloyd &
Wood for the widow, Virginia; Annie
Smith, r. II. Lloyd and the other
benefciaries under the will. Lacking
information or belief, the answerers
deny the relationship claimed by
Guzik of Warsaw, and deny that one
Fibusz Guzik of the same city is a
brother Of Kornfeld. They deny that
Kornfeld was so years old when he
made his viii. as alleged, but IS, and
that the was not of unsound mind.
1t is admitted that Annie r. Smith
vas not a relative of Kornfeld, but
in that regard it is explained that the
woman who received a bequest Of
100000 was a relative of Mrs. Korn-
field and had lived in the family from
the time she was II years old and for
twenty-nlne years thereafter. Korn-
field and his wife, it is declared, nur-
tured and educated the girl and cared
for her as though she had been their
own daughter. She had always been
loving and obedient and strong bonds
OF love, affection and sympathy existed
between her and deceased, says the
answer.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1904-08-28
Young Clergy to Meet.

The younger clergy Of the Episcopal
church will hold their first meeting OF
the second semester Of study for 1904
tomorrow evening at the Occidental
Hotel. The course given during the
spring of the year was on church his
tory. The following line of study will
be taken up on Monday on the early
iiturgies Of the East:
Introductory paper by the Rev. Ce-
Gil NJ. Marrack, August %; "The Syri-
an Rite" by the Rev. w. B. Clark,
September 19; The Egyptian Rite, +"
by the Rev. Clifton Macon, October
Il; The Persian Rite" by the Rev.
Mardon d. Wilson, November 81;
The Byzantine Rite" by the Rev.
Charles T. Walkley, December 10.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1904-08-28
OELRICHS ANSWERS SUIT
AGAINST FAIR ESTATE
Administrator Denies That Mining Ex-
pert Thomas III. Rooney Rendered
Services Worth SIS. 600

The suit of Thomas H. Rooney
against the estate of Charles Fair for
$4,000 for services alleged to have
been rendered as a mining expert was
answered yesterday by Hermann DEL
richs, administrator of the estate. who
denied every allegation in Rooney's
complaint excepting that in passing
upon the bills of the creditors the
Rooney claim had been turned down
by the administrator. ROoney's claim
set forth that he had been EMPLOYED
as a mining expert by Charles Fair to
pass upon properties in Mexico, Ari-
iona, Nevada and California and In
settling the controversy over the own
ership of the Morgan mine between
Fair and William Irvine. In his suit
for payment Rooney declared that
Charles Fair had promised to make
him general manager of the estate OF
James G. Fair after the litigation over
the latter estate was settled, but that
in the meantime Charles Fair had
gone abroad and met his death with
out fulfilling his contract These con-
tentionS are denied in toto by Oelrichs.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1904-08-28
ATTACKS BOTH
WIFE And BABE
II. Strathmann, Who Says
He Is Heir to a Large ES-
tate in Germany, Arrested
TWO CASES AGAINST HIM
Fails to Provide for His
Family and Has Also to
Stand Trial for Battery

Henry Strathmann was arrested for
being drunk on Natoma street on Fri
day night by Policeman McEntee and
yesterday he was booked at the City
Prison on charges of failure to provide
and battery. The complaints were
sworn to before Police Judge Cabaniss
by Mrs. Rachel Stone on the first
charge and by Strathmann's wife, Jo-
sephine. on the second. Secretary
White of the California Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Children
is looking after Mrs. Strathmann's in
terests.
Strathmann at one time had a sa-
loon on Beale street and later was a
partner with his wife's brother, Cert
Schomaker, at 600 O'Farrell street, in
the grocery and saloon business. He
sold his half interest to his brother-in-
law on June S, but his wife claims
that he still retains his half interest
She also asserts that her husband has
transferred his right to property he
owns in this city to his brother-in-Iaw
with the object Of preventing her from
enjoying any benefit from it.
WI AoNl dNlliiAdIll says lIldI ever
since her marriage her husband has
not supported her properly and has
treated her cruelty. Just before the
birth of her baby, now two months
old, he refused to call in a physician
and she had to hire a wagon to take
her to the City and County Hospital,
where her baby was born. A week
ago last Friday he gave her so cents
and she said that was the only money
she had received from him for over a
month. She had been compelled to
sell part of the furniture for food.
She went to the house of a friend at
Hunters Point for help in her desti-
tute condition. on Friday night
Strathmann called there and, she al
leges, attacked her viciously. He
choked and beat her and when Mrs.
Stone interfered to protect her she
was also beaten. In his blind fury he
struck the baby on the head and near
~ killed it. 1t was after attacking
his wife that he was arrested on Ma
toma street for being drunk.
When Secretary White called upon
Strathmann after his wife had put her
case in his hands Strathmann boast
ingly told White that he was heir to
large estate in Germany. He de-
clined to support his wife and babe.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1904-08-28
GREAT FLOM OF GAS.

An enormous flow of natural gas has
been struck in Ventura at the plant of
the Ventura Light and Power Com
pany which yields $4,000 feet a day.
The Independent says of the new
gusher:
The driller has been at work for sew
eral days on the fifth well, and Thurs
day at depth of about 125 feet struck
the gas The new well is the best pro-
Queer in the field, yielding about $4,000
feet of gas per day. AS the company
has already on hand a surplus OF 10. 900
feet it is now certain that enough can
be obtained to supply Oxnard and in
termediate points. Material for piping
the gas to OXnard and supplying that
town has already been ordered. and as
soon as it arrives men will be set TO
work extending the mains 1t is possi-
bic that with the development of the
wells, the supply being considered in
eXhaustible, gas will be piped to Nord
hoff, Saticoy and Santa Paula. The
natural gas is giving general satisfac-
ton in Ventura. 1t is found cheaper
than wood for fuel and gives intense
heat for all purposes. Several hundred
residences are now equipped with gas
ranges and heaters"
AS an increase in the outlet for oil
heavy shipments are being made from
this State to the Hawaiian Islands.
where the fluid is used for fuel on the
large plantations. Several oil steamers
have left for the islands, while one
sailed for st. Michael Alaska, where
her cargo will be used in the gold dig
gings.
The Silver State of Winnemucca saws
of the big mining deal recently made
at Tonopah:
"One of the most important sales of
Tonopah mining property made in the