davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
BRIGHT BITS.

How old would you say she was %
well, let's see: When we were in
high school together she used to snub
me becaSue l was a kid. Now, I'm 81,
and, um-u-m, well, l should say she
was about rs by this time. Town
and Country.
-Jorkins-"Bilber's wife isn't a
beauty, is she? Wonder how he hap
pened to marry herr" Bildad-"I I'M
derstand he fell in love with her at a
game of whist" Jorkins-"Oh, 1 see.
She didn't ask every two or three
minutes, What's trumps? Boston
Transcript.
-Tess-"She felt considerably bet
ter to-day when 1 was there. Her
Eastern bonnet had just come home"
Jess-"But, surely, she won't be able
to be out on Easter" Tess-"Oh, no,
but the doctor has promised to let her
sit up in bed awhile and wear it on
Easter morning. "-Philadelphia Press.
1T is a great pity that we didn't
prevent this war between Russia and
Japan"
What could we have done?"
"Why. in the interest of humanity
ana CIVILIZATION ana TO prevent the Ell
fusion of blood we might have an
nexed Korea ourselves. brooklyn
Life.
-Damocles' reckless gayety surprised
his friends. I'VE do not see how you
can be so happy and careless while
that sword hangs over your head, sus-
pended by a single hair" Damocles
snapped his fingers. Fudge" he re-
Piled, what's that to me? Our cook
has been threatening to leave for the
past three months!" Cincinnati
Times-Star.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
GEORGIA CANE SYRUP.

There can be no question that syrup
made from sugar cane is valuable
addition to the money-producing crops
of Georgia. The only drawback to its
great value has been to prepare 1t in
such manner that it would not ferment
and become sour and unmarketable;
that is, to preserve the syrup in its
virgin and wholesome condition. The
pioneer in the pure syrup movement
in Georgia is Judge Joseph Tillman of
Quitman, who has devoted a quarter
of a century of his life to a solution
of the problem. His experiments, con-
tinued through all of these years, have
been crowned with success, and he
has perfected a process by which
Georgia cane syrup can be so manu-
featured as to prevent it's deteriora-
ton.
This valuable discovery by Judge
Tillman promises to solve the ques-
ton of how to place sugar cane on
the same basis as a money crop with
other Southern farm products. A test
of syrup made by the "Tillman pro-
cess" was had this season in Savan-
nah. Syrup that had been kept in an
ordinary barrel since December, 1902
md drawn off into cans, was used for
months in a family and was found to
be as sweet and pure as newly-made
syrup; in fact, the flavor was, if any
thing, finer than that of new syrup.
The general introduction of the Till
man process" for making cane syrup
would open the markets of the world
to Georgia syrup and add millions of
dollars to the value of the agricul-
tural products of the South. The farm
ers of Georgia could do nothing bet
ter for themselves and their country
than to induce the Department of Ag-
riculture at Washington to investigate
the process with a view to having it
adopted by the government and made
free to all who might care to use it.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06

AT Fort Madison, Ia, lives Mrs.
Rachel Albright, who is a granddaugh-
ter Of Betsy Ross, who made the first
American flag. Mrs. Albright was
born in the home of her grandmother,
Betsy Ross, in Philadelphia, June 16,
1872, and was brought up under Mrs.
Ross care She there learned the art
of making flags at her grandmother's
knee, and Mrs. Albright still carries
on this work.
Barrett Wendell, the well-known
professor of English at Harvard, cross
ed the campus the other day behind
two sophomores. What is the mat
ter with your" he heard the first
sophomore say. What makes you so
blue?" Why" replied the other, Il
wrote home last week for money to
get textbooks with, and here this
morning my father sends me, instead
of the money, the books themselves.
How in the world is a fellow ever go
ing to get on his feet at this rate?'
The New York Sun says: Judge
Albert Skinner in the Court of Com
mon Pleas at Newark yesterday con-
ferred favor upon a Russian, as well
as upon those who might be called
upon to read, write or speak the mans
name. 1t was Joseph F. WlodarcZyk,
and the judge permitted him to drop
the c, 2, and k, and call himself
Wloder, which is pronounced Vloder.
Before the last four letters were cut
off he called himself Vlodark- sick, with
the accent on the sick Now he will
put the accent upon the first syllable"
Camille Pelletan, the French Min
lister of Marine, has a disregard for
niceties of dress which makes him a
favorite with cartoonists. His white
hair and beard seem to be absolutely
unacquainted with a comb, his trousers
are nearly always too long, and he de-
lights in frock coats several sizes too
large for him. Huge boots, faded neck
tie and cuffs that are generally on the
verge of fringe are other parts of his
unique makeup. His friends remon-
strate with him regarding his careless
ness, but NJ. Pelletan responds calmly:
What matter so long as 1 am COM
fortable?"
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
Liked the Con.tttution.

T. V. Powderly, formerly commits
sioner general of immigration, tells a
story that was repeated to him by
one of the inspectors, according to the
Philadelphia Post.
1t appears that certain German i'm
migrant, just after landing in this
country, became very friendly with the
inspector in question. AS he remained
in New York, where he was employed
by one OF the big hotels, he visited
from time to time the inspector who
had put to him the usual questions
upon his arrival at New York.
When the period of five years resi-
dence in the United States, requisite
to the obtaining of naturalization, had
passed, the Teuton sought out his old
friend, the inspector, with inquiries as
TO what steps it would be necessary
for him to take to obtain his citizen
ship papers.
So his friend gave him the necessary
advice, and, in a spirit of kindness,
promised to go with the German to
the judge to whom application for
naturalization was to be made.
The usual interrogatories were asked,
among which was:
You have read the constitution of
this countrY?"
mo, your honor" responded the Ger
man, stolidly; mo, / hat not read der
constitution; but my trent Krause he
hat read it to me. Und 1 wish to say
nice, your honor, und 1 am fiery much
pleased nit it!'
The judge granted the necessary pa
perS
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
MRetween Lis GirI.."

1t deeply grieved Serene E. Payne,
the Republican floor leader, when Mr..
Maddox of Georgia raised the point
of no quorum yesterday and thus
threatened to prevent the House from
passing lot of bills, says the Wash
ington correspondence of the New
York Times. With a heavy sigh Mr.
Payne arose, steered his portly form
across to the Democratic side, and
looked down on Mr.. Maddox with a
panied look.
Maddox" said Payne in a seductive
tone, why do you ball things up this
way just as We are getting along so
nicely? You have some secret reason,
Maddox. Tell me what it is"
Mr. Payne" began Maddox with
dignity.
"Confidentially, said Mr.. Payne in
a wheeling voice, Il won't breathe it
to soul"
LAS l was about to say, Mr. Payne
-" resumed Mr.. Maddox.
Just among us girls" pleaded Mr..
Payne.
The grizzled, lean, bald-headed old
Confederate looked up at the large
form and white head above him, and
gasped a couple of times. Then he
arose.
Mr.. Speaker" said Mr.. Maddox "I
withdraw the point"
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
TOO MANY CENrENNIALs.

1t IS not surprising that the House
refused TO consider the bill appropri-
ating s475,0O for the Lewis and Clark
Centennial Exposition to be held in
Portland, Ore, next year. There are
too many centennial expositions and
they come along too close together.
The st. Louis Exposition will hardly
have closed its doors before the doors
of the one in Oregon will open. OF
course, the Portland Exposition will
be a comparatively small affair, so
small that its Importance win be local
rather than national. II is a question
whether Congress would be justified in
appropriating money to assist it. If
we are not mistaken there are two
other centennial expositions which are
being promoted, and Congress is ex-
pected to assist both of them. If
Congress responds to every request of
this kind favorably it will not be long
before the people of every locality in
the country that was the scene of some
important event a century ago will be
asking Congress for money for an ex-
position.
OF course there has been a wonder
full development in the West. Oregon,
that was once thought to be of no
value whatever, is a great state, and
is growing with remarkable rapidity.
And there are other great states in
that section of the Union, but Con-
gress must draw the line on centen-
NAL expositions somewhere.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
PARKER's STRENGTH.

There is no doubt that the estimates
of Judge Parker's strength, which have
( been made by some OF the newspapers
have a very substantial foundation.
Since 1t became certain that he would
be the choice of the Democrats of
New York the movement in his favor
has assumed great Importance in pref
~ nearly all of the states. particular
ly in those states which give Demo-
cratic majorities and those which are
regarded as doubtful The New York
World, for instance. prints an esti-
mate which shows that of the 1000
delegates which will compose the con-
vention Judge Parker viii have SIS
Mr. Hearst 1O6 and seventy eight are
ctdssed as doubtful. From this show
ing it would appear that Judge
Parker is sure Of the nomination, since,
under the two-thirds rule, he would
have 143 more than was necessary to
nominate.
OF course this estimate is by no
means accurate. for there is no way
Of getting accurate information in re-
gard to the strength Of the candidates.
1t shows, however, the direction of
sentiment in the ranks of the Democ-
racy, and is a pretty good indication
that in most parts Of the country Judge
Parker is now looked upon as the man
who win be chosen to lead the Demo-
cratic forces in the presidential cam
paign. There is no doubt that the
New York delegation will be for him.
That is admitted by Mr.. Murphy, the
Tammany leader, who all along has
been Directing TO an instructed dele
CATION. At Atlantic City on Sunday,
Mr.. Murphy said that former Senator
Hill would be in control of the Demo-
cratic convention of New York, and
that he could have the delegation to
St Louis instructed if he so desired.
Mr.. Hill has let it be known that it
is his purpose to have it instructed
There seems to be an impression that
the Tammany leaders will get in har-
mony with the Parker movement be-
fore the meeting of the state con-
vention. There are frequent rumors
of efforts to bring about harmony. OF
course the fact that Tammany is OPP
posed to instructing the delega-
ton doesn't mean that it will
be against Judge Parker's nomi-
nation at St. Louis. AS a mat
ter of fact most of the members
of the Tammany organization are IA
vorable to his nomination, If reports
in the New York papers are to be re-
lied upon. Mr. Murphy may have
plan for nominating someone else,
though he hasn't said as much. He
simply takes the position that New
York would be able to get more with
a delegation that was not instructed.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06

Richard Henry Little, the war CORE
spondent who has fallen into the hands
of the Russians at New Chwang, is
an Illinois man and a Chicago charac-
ter. Country born. he has never been
able to get all the hayseeds out of his
hair. but as a writer of picturesque de-
scriptions he is said to be able to dis
lance nine out of ten of the metropon-
tan press writer's. Little drifted into a
Chicago newspaper Office one day and
asked for work. His clothes looked as
though they had been tossed at him
with hay fork and he stopped in a
way to suggest that a hoe would be
handler in his grasp than a pencil. BY
way of getting rid of the fellow more
than anything else the city editor told
him to go out and write up the smells
of the stock yards. That evening he
came in and laid on the city editors
desk story that was classic. There
after he did not want for assignments
and before long became a star" man.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06

The general conference of the Nor
mon church has voted to uphold
Prophet Joseph F. Smith for his stand
taken in Washington during the Smoot
investigation. Elder Taylor. in his
prayer opening the conference, thanked
God for the wisdom of President
Smith, and for his valor in maintain
ing the principles of the Mormon
church both at home and abroad. One
of the principles that Smith upheld
most vigorously in Washington was
that of polygamy. He admitted that
he had disobeyed the law prohibiting
plural marriage. that he was fully
aware of his disobedience to the law
at the time, and that he purposed to
continue to maintain his polygamous
relations, despite the law. Another
apostle at the conference declared it
to be the divine command that I'VE
multiply and replenish the EARTH" and
urged the saints" to be more dill
gent In the practice of their religion"
Is there any good reason for thinking
that the Mormon church has changed
in any essential particular since the
days of Brigham Young?
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
Like KurOpatkin's Campaign.

Gen. Kuropatkin's announcement of
Russias intentions in the prosecution
of the war reminded a cabinet officer
of an old anecdote, says the, Washing
ton correspondence of the New York
Tribune.
I'm the first place." he said, 1.-The
General expects to take Manchuria
Then he will go on to Korea, and will
finally wind up the trouble in Japan
by taking Toxic. There was once upon
a time an Irishman who was proceed
ing along a road with a friend. They
came to a point in the road opposite a
stone wall, which surrounded a field
in which a large, able bodied bull was
grazing. AS soon as he saw the bull
the Irishman burst into a hearty
laugh.
What's the matter asked his
friend.
:" i was thinking how funny it would
be If l jumped over that wall, caught
the bull by the horns and rubbed his
nose into the turf. 1 believe 1 will do
it.
'In about three minutes he came
back over the wall assisted by the
horns of the bovine. I'm thinking
he said, as he rubbed his sore spots,
that it was mighty good thing that
/ got in my laugh before 1 went over
there. "
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06

| In the April Mcclure there is an ar
ticle on Holding Up Train" in which
the alleged robber recounts this Incl
| dent:
I'VE got them all lined up and pref
| ty quiet and went through the bunch.
found very little on them-I mean
| in the way of valuables. One man in
! the line was a sight. He was one Of
| those big, overgrown, solemn snooZ-
! ers that sit on the platform at lee
lures and look wise. Before crawling
out he had managed to put on his
| long, frock tailed coat and his high
| silk hat. The rest of him was moth
ing but paJamas and bunions. When
dug into that Prince Albert, l ex-
! pected to drag out at least a block
of gold mine stock or an armful IF
| government bonds, but all found was
little boys French harp about four
inches long. What it was there for
! cause he had fooled me. So 1 stuck
the harp up against his mouth.
IF you can't payday" 1 says.
Il can't play" says he.
Then learn right off quick" says I,
letting him smell the end of my gun
| barrel.
He caught hold of the harp, turned
red as a beet, and commenced to blow.
He blew a dinky little tune l remem-
| bered hearing when 1 was a kid:
Prettiest little gal in the county o!
Nanny and Daddy told me so.
made him keep on playing it all
| the time we were in the car. Now
and then he'd get weak and off the
key, and I'd turn my gun on him and
ask what was the matter with that
little gal, and whether he had any in
tention Of going back to her, which
would make him start up again like
sixty. l think that old boy standing
there in his silk hat and bare feet.
playing his little French harp, was
the funniest sight 1 ever saw. One
little red-headed woman in the line
broke out laughing at him. You could
have heard her in the next car.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
A Late Business Call.

they're drinking" said Representative
Tim" Sullivan, according to the Phil
adelphia Telegraph. when was over
in New York heard story about a
man 1 know who had been out nearly
all night and was considerably the
worse for wear.
He came along a street and saw
an undertaker's sign, with a night bell,
just over a speaking tube. He rang
the bell fiercely.
What is it yelled the undertaken
down the tube. What do you want?'
a." Nothing in particular, the chap re-
piled; only l want to say to you that
you're the last man I'll do business
with."
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
lALEA ~ NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Georgla Chapter No. 3,
r. A. M
Special Notices-What Clean to
Perfection, New York Steam Dye
Works: To the Voters of Chatham
County. T. J. Davis; Ship Notice,
National Transportation and Termi-
nal Co.; Savannah Beer, at The. s
Place.
Business Notices-Bicycle Aces
sories, Walter F. Higgins; All That Is
Claimed for 1t, sommers' Cafe; We'd
ding Gifts, A. L. Desbouillons; Java
and Mocha, Hardee & Marshall: A
Special Price, Z II. Friedman & Co.
We've Been Studying Styles-Con-
nor & Sullivan.
Wednesday Sale-Daniel Hogan.
The Wise Buyer-Jas. G. Nelson.
Whisky-Hayner's Rye.
Champagne-Moet & Chandon's
White Seal
Foods-Postum Food Coffee.
Brightine-Knight's Pharmacy.
Buchu Gin-Henry Solomon & Son.
The Cleveland Bicycle-At Latti-
more's.
California Clarets-The Delmonico
Co.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Druggist.
Medical-Herpicide: DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery; Ozomul-
sion.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel
Wanted, Employment Wanted, For
Rent, For Sale, Lost, Personal, Miscel-
Ianeous.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06

Some weeks ago during a harmony
dinner of Democrats in New York, an
alleged wireless telegram was re-
ceived bearing the name of w. J.
Bryan, who was at sea. bidding the
diners remember the great number of
Western Democrats who had cast their
votes for the regular ticket in 1900
Something of a furry was created by
the receipt of the message, and many
newspapers commented on it in a more
or less serious strain. 1t appears now,
according to a publication in the Chi
cago Record Herald, that the message
was sent by Brian G. Hughes, a rich
New Yorker, who has become famous
for his practical jokes. 1t was Brian
Hughes who bought a disreputable
Bowery cat for 10 cents. fed it for
weeks on richest cream. had it mani
cured. combed and doctored until It
was in fine fettle, then entered it at the
fashionable cat show under the name
of "Nicodemus," with pedigree a
yard long. "Nicodemus" had several
liveried attendants and sat in his box
at the show amid a profusion of roses
worth a dollar EACH and the judges
gave the transformed Bowery cat first
prize. 1t was Hughes who bought an
old car horse for SLIPS, crammed him
for weeks on oats, mash and dope, -
and then, bedecked with finery and
attended by grooms in Oriental cos
tunes, entered him at the horse show
rs "PuldakA Orphan" pulled a car
often,) and came within a scratch Of
winning a blue ribbon in competition
with the horses Of the Vanderbilts and
Goulds.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06

British nobleman, travelling across
the continent with valet, says the New
York Press. Both greatly impressed
by the immensely of the country. Saw
Chicago, Kansas City, Denver, then
struck out into the Far West. The
train was delayed at a small station,
and the passengers got out to stretch
their legs, among them his lordship
and James. The valet was In brown
study. whats the natter" asked his
master. II was thinking, my lord, -
said James, that Columbus didn't do
such big thing when e discovered
this ere country, halter ais said an
done. 'Ow could e 'elp it,"
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06

April fools are no worse than any
other sort of fools, but unfortunately
they are given more license by COM
mon consent; and it is bad thing
to give license to a fool at any sea-
son. In New York a man was tele-
phoned that his wife had been in
jured in a wreck. ooh, you can't
April fool me-" he laughed into the
phone transmitter. But 1t was fact
that the woman had been hurt, and
it was two hours before the stupid
husband could be induced to go to
her relief. In another city an April
fool telephoned to young woman that
her brother had met with an accident
and was dying. The young woman
fell IN faint, from which she never
recovered.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
STERnIZED BARBER SHOP.
A Famous Shop in the CarroIlton Ho
tel. Baltimore, Md.

The barber shop in the Carrollton
Hotel. Baltimore, sterilizes everything
it uses in the shop. The sterilizing is
done by heat. The towels, the razors,
the strops the soap, the combs and
brushes are all sterilized before being
used on customer. Where there is no
sterilization, have the barber use
Newbro's Herpicide. 1t kills the dan
druff germ, and it is an anitseptic for
the scalp, and for the face after shaw
ing. All leading BARRIERS everywhere
appreciate these potent facts about
Herpicide and they use it. Destroy
the cause, you remove the effect"
Sold by leading druggists. Send 10c
in stamps for sample to The Herpicide
Co., Detroit, Mich.
Livingston's Pharmacy, Special
Agents.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
rHE MORNING Mans is pubIishel

THE MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and served to
subscribers in the city. or sent by mail;
one week, IS cents; one month. 70
cents: three months, $500; six months,
$500; one year. $500.
THE MORNING NEWS, by mail.
six lines a week (without Sunday
issue), one month, so cents; three
months. $3.50. six months. $500: one
year, $500
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
week CMonday and Thursday, BY
mail one year. SL00.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order. check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk Of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
local or reading notices, amusements
and classified column. 10 cents line.
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal
to one inch in depths the standard
OF measurement. Classified column ad-
vertisements, l cent a word each tnser-
ton. Every word and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less
than Is cents week days. IS cents
Sundays. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at bust
ness Office.
Orders for delivery Of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 21O. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately re-
ported
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MORNING NEWS" Savan-
nah, Ca
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row.
New York City, H. c. Faulkner. Man
ager
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06
THE CANDIDACY OF JUDGE RUS
SELL.

Judge Richard B. Russell, who is a
candidate for the position of chief JUS
tice of the Supreme Court, is making a
very vigorous canvass for the position.
OF course not as much is being said
in the newspapers about his candidacy
as there would be if this were a year
for the election of State House Off
GERS. Still, what he is saying is at
tracing considerable attention.
One point he makes is that he is be-
ing subjected to some criticism be-
cause he aspires to the leading place
on the supreme bench without ever
having occupied the place of associate
justice. In response to this criticism
he says he is opposed to the doctrine
that the incumbent of the office of
chief justice should never be opposed.
Such fallacy," he says, lis in direct
conflict with the whole theory of DEM
ocratic government" 1t would, he de-
clares, prevent any young man from
aspiring to the office of chief Justice"
Judge Russell was a practicing law
yer for eighteen years, and has been
on the bench for nearly six years. He
is in the prime of manhood, and if
elected would no doubt do his part to-
wards maintaining the high standard
of the decisions of the Supreme Court.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-06

And so, it seems, Gen. Kuropatkin
is going to try to lure the Japanese
on to Hardin, where ne will have
force sufficient to wipe them off the
face of the earth. Scattering bait to
toll game into a trap is an old trick,
and it is just possible that the Japs
will decline to be tolled further than
they know they can go with safety.