The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-05-03
IF you really and truly have need

of So
"Of course I have"
And can't get along without it?"
Il don't see how I cam
Then here is $780, Mrs. Perkins.
Amy one who knows womans nature
knows that her wants can always be
reduced one-half and then she'll have
money left for chocolate creams. You
have got $3.50, I have saved $3.50. and
we sttu have the counterfeit So to work
OF on the landlord when our rent is
due again."
Mr. Perkins" said Mrs. Perkins one
night at midnight, as she dug ner ell
bow into her iege lords ribs there
is something going on at the barn"
quite likely, my dear-quite likely"
he replied as he sat up and rubbed his
eyes Our barn is neither a police
station nor a theater, but there is gen
orally something going on under its
roof just the same. From what source
did you gather your information?"
Il have heard noises as of people
moving about. There-don't you hear
that?"
Il hear it Mrs Perkins, and 1 have
no hesitancy in saying that. 1 believe
there is an intruder out there. Let
me take a look from the window. /
see no light out there"
DO you suppose robber would be
fool enough to show a light?" demand
ed the good woman.
Hardly, my dear, when we come to
Inllk- OF II. ana InaJ brings US down
to the philosophy Of the thing. I must
take a light and go out there
you shan't do any such thing. Why
don t you raise the window and yell
for the police? That will drive him
away quick enough"
"Only in theory. my dear In the
first place, the policeman on this beat
is sound asleep in the lumber yard
and would not hear my shouts. In
the next place, the intruder knows
this to be a, fact and wouldn't scare.
Let US also take our neighbors into ac-
count. The locality is quiet and peace
full at present, but if half dozen fam
ilies are turned out of bed some of
them are bound to bang on theirpianos
from now till daylight And there is
q greater reason than all these, my
dear-a. far greater reason-that l
should take a light with me. In that
barn I have a $50 COW and a 50 calf,
and if I don't furnish the intruder
with means to distinguish one from
the other he'll probably walk off with
the $50 and leave me the SO.
Are we to go to the theater to-
nightH asked Mrs. Perkins across the
dinner table as dessert came on.
Il hadn't contemplated any such move, .
slowly replied Mr. Perkins. but should
you Ieel tnat IL vas NECESSARY 20 your
happiness We might possibly bring SUCH
an event about At least, 1 am ready to
What discussion does it need2" she
sharply replied. We either want to go
or We OOn L.
You have stated the point clearly.
my dear, and vet you have skipped all the
particulars. We may want to go, and yet
we may think it best not to To begin
with, good seats will cost US dollar
apiece, and our car fare will be % cents
There Is the price of a pig to start with.
It IS money spent for two hours enter
tainment and gone forever, while a two
dollar pig viii in time grow to be a ten
dollar hog and abide in the pork barrel for
months
If YOU are going to bring pigs and hogs
IN, We better say Wen stay home''
"Ihat is an 1mpetu0us decision my dear
and a position you can not maintain We
will assume for the sake of argument.
that we go on. On the car going down
have my pocket picked of SO. It is no
great sum, and if YOU economic for three
months we can replace it. but, neverthe-
less, we arrive at the theater feeling out
of sorts. We have been buncoed and we
are mad and Inundated. Then we find
that we can get back seats only. Both of
US are a little near-sighted and hard of
hearing. but rather than go home we take
the seats. You begin to nag at me be-
fore the curtain goes up.
IT deny it'll exclaimed Mrs. Perkins
you begin to nag at me. my dear and
law back. and presently are wishing
each other dead When the play begins
you cane half see or hear, and you kick
me on the shin ana pinch you We are
in a happy frame of mind when I sudden
ly smell smoke
You couldn't smell smoke if there was
a fire under your chin
But this is an extra occasion. my dear
I smell smoke and realize that the theater
IS on fire. I suggest to you that we arise
one Of your obstinate fits on and WOO t