Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1904-11-10

York Tribune.-From the threshold of
the study Doris Elzevir saw that her
father was not at his desk, but that
he had forgotten to take his keys from
the drawer that he usually kept lock
ed. She often had seen him-when
he thought no one was looking-take
from 1t fiat book, and pore over it's
pages with an expression upon his
face that she never saw there at any
other time. Within a few minutes
her curiosity trlEmphed, and the vol
ume was in her hands.
She was astonlshed to see that it
was a scrapbook with many of its
leaves pasted with slips of typewrit
ing. More curious than before, she
sat down in chair, and read the
first of the slips:-
Professor to student: You say we
are of vegetable origin. Let me near
you prove it."
Student: Darwin and Huxley have
demonstrated that man descended
from an ape, and it goes without
proof that the ape descended from a
tree
Much bewildered, she read the
next
A jeweer was trying to sell man
a clock that was shaped like a parrot.
ct don't trust that timepiece," said
the customer.
"Why?" asked the clockman
Polly ticks, replied the customer.
Can it be that my father wrote
these?" Doris asked herself-"my
father who scorns even to smile?'
Her father was a renowned scholar.
His early work, "The Exegesis of the
Exigent," had lifted him from obscur-
ity into the lime-light of the scholas-
tic world. Not one word Of it or of
his subsequent works could be con-
strued by the most frivolous into even
a hint of humor. Besides. the levity
Of the modern press and declared
that the safety of advanced thought
rested upon the suspension of all hu.
morous publications.
Never had Doris seen the ghost of
smile fit across her fathers midnight
features. The two Jokes had given
her desire to laugh, but she knew
influence which he had condemned
publicly. The only possible use he
could make of such a book was as
material for a work that world strike
humor a deadly blow, and Doris read
on to sec how deadly the blow would
be She turned the first leaf and
saw this:-
The Whiffergill flew on Fldub Tree,
And plucked himself off leaf
And boosted aloud: "Of the Whiffer-
gills
This proves me to be the chief"
Twas in the quaint land Of the Gosh.
migall
BY hundredes the natives came,
And asked one another deiectedly:
pray what is this Writers game?
ooh, why does he sit in a Fildub Tree?
Why pluck he thereof leaf?
And how does that prove that of all
IHc 6lllS
The Whitfergil is the chief?'
They sent then and there, for the
Thinksumthinis,
The scholars of Ooshmigall,
And, coming at once to the Filduh
Tree
Each looked like knowitall.
And if you should journey to Ooshmi-
gall,
You'd find to this very day,
Those wise men still under the Fildub
Tree
And hear each one sadly say;
"a leaf is a leaf, and trees tree
A Gill is a Gill, tits true;
But II l don't know why the Whifrer's
chief,
I'll soon have to say do"
A laugh of triumph dubbed to
Doris's lips. This scrap poked fun
at scholars. What better evidence
could her father find of the irrever-
ence of modern hUmor? With glow
ing expectation of how he would re-
talate, she turned another leaf and
read
What is the difference between diff
ference and Difference? None; for as
soon as you show Difference you show
the difference.
What is a quart? The discussion
Should be divided into two pil.R.
How far wrong was the lrishman
when he said that the alphabet was
"atsy?" The "a letters that become
between the two.
When is woman? Never; she can
rot be assigned to any age.
When is a man. All ways-some OF
them very dark and questionable.
Smiling, as she thought what
blow her father could strike with
these queries alone, Doris turned to-
the next slip, and read
There was an old miser in Kent,
Who could hide the whole earth with
cent;
But he died one fine day.