davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1904-03-21

dulged in nonsense of this kind
through mere thoughtlessness, it may
possibly be worth while to say some
thing.
The old custom of throwing a hand
full of rice after the departing ear
riage OF a newly married couple, for
luck, was rather pretty and pic
turesque, and, like most old customs
connected with solemn occasions, I'M
married by any element of the ridieu
lous or mkind Adopted by people
without courtesy, it is turned into ?
practical joke, and the object of the
rice-throwing is defeated unless the
victims are so showered with 1t that
they have to spend the first half Of
their wedding journey getting rid OF
the cereal, and even then cannot be
certain that stray grains will not make
them ridiculous in the eyes q
strangers.
The same spirit which has made
this harmless custom offensive Is that
which has spoilt several others both
pretty and appropriate. 1t used to
be customary to throw an old shoe
after the wedding party; the modern
Joker finds this observance pointless
unless the pair are bombarded with
old shoes, to the endangering of their
hats and their heads. The people of
seine rural hamlet once found It
pleasant to sing appropriate songs
under the windows of a newly mar
RED pair; q ruder society turns this
pretty ceremony into hideous din Of
tin pans and fish-horns, and derisive
boots. Such gaucheries are perhaps
exeusabie IN pioneer settlement,
made up of a mixture of the rougher
and the finer elements of your g ma
ton: but II is about time that civilized
Americans, living in cities, should
cease to ape the gawkiness of rural
pumpkins. and get nd Of rude and
pointless ideas Of fun.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
LANGDoN pARK MupDLE.

To lie Editor OF The Washington Times.
II our Washington friends were TO
believe all the brilliant dissertations
that have crept into print since the
Commissioners reported adversely on
the Langdon Park scheme. there would
be no use in trying to come out here
without a flying machine, and as these
are Injuries we expect no one out to see
US for some time 10 come. But, to be Sc
Fious in the matter, [ would ike to i'm
press upon our neighbOrs that the Com
missionefs have done fairly well by Us
and we have confidence enough in them
20 believe that when the proper time
arrives we viii get our share of sub
urban improvements Because a few OF
our inhabitants have been disappointed
in getting their streets improved, It
would seem that they are doing their
utmost 10 inJure the name OF the place
by writing letters to the newspapers
condemning the whole township Per
haps il has not occurred to these men
that by these wholesale cenunciations
they are unfair to the neighbor who
has been benefited, and indirectly they
are standing in their own light
If their wrathful statements are to be
given credence then their property
fronting on unimproved streets is
worth less than their neighbor's on she
macadamized thoroughfare, against
whom they are railing Some of my
nefghbOrs have said. 1T isn't policy 10
say anything about this tax rate. for II
YOU do the Commissioners viii raise our
taxes" They probably have overlooked
the feet that if the Commissioners wers
to tax every property owner in the Dis
tTict according to the price he would
ask for his property were he called upon
TO sell. the amount collected in this way
would be five times greater than it Is
today.
Because q man believes he could set
70 cents foot for his ground that IS
no reason for assuming that he wants
To pay taxes az that rate for improved
property. I DO not believe II any of the
Commissioners owned property they
would care 10 pay taxes prOportionate
with what they might value it if #
WAS offered for sale. AS far as Lang
don Park is concerned. ] am one OF
many who have no particular desire 10
have a park located here. We would
much prefer TO have the money spent
Al improving streets and extending
water and gas. If. however, we could
have a Park and the other improve
mcnts rs we'll no one would Offer the
slightest objection. In fact. if every
mans wants could be satisfied by the
Commissioners 1 would gladly lend my
aid In any humble way by vote OF Pc
triton to bring about this end x
should also be understood that some OF
these who have had the most unfavor-
able criticisms 10 make are not prop
erty Swners i'm this section They are
CT the class which would be disgruntlcd
anywhere.
Hoping to see our friends odt THIS
way when the mud dries. 7 am. yours
in fairness. FRANK Y. HIGDON-
Washington. March 4.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
The Best Medicine.
Out-of-Door Life as a Cure for Con-
sumption.

Pure, dry air comes nearer to be-
ing a cure for consumption than any
thing else discovered yet by the doc
tors. and the driest pure air obtain
able Is that of the arid Western pla-
teaus. Persons IN the first stages OF
tuberculosis, who 90 to New Mexico
or Arizona and live out of doors, al
most always recover. In fact, out
door life, exercise, and good food N
almost any comfortable climate viii
do more than medicine for the con
sumptive.
One of the chief advantages of the
arid region as a sanitarium Is that
the climate permits the patient to live
In a tent at all seasons without endur-
inc great discomfort Camp life Is
the best prescription, and ii Is not
hard to take in the Southwest. Bun
1t must be taken early 10 be of any
avail.
SecOnd-stage patients have about
en- even chance of deriving benefit
and prolonging their lives by going
to the arid land, but third-stage con
sumDtives have no chance worth
counting, and unfortunately a large
proportion of those who are sent West
are of the latter class, or have been
IN the past Doctors have advised the
desert treatment as a last desperate
resort, when their own resources of
medicine have failed, but they are
coming to see that the pure air trea
ment should be resorted to first, and
that 1t is only lodging responsibility
to send advanced cases Of tuberculosis
away from home.
The first thing to be done for one
stricken with the white plague" Is 10
give MIN air. fresh air, and plenty Of
II, day and night. IF he can go to the
mesas of the arid West, or to the
mountains almost anywhere, that IS
best for him. If he cannot go away.
a cot in the back yard or on the roof
Is better than drugs.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21

thing that the Hon. Charles Emory
Smith has to say on the subject of
Messrs. Tulloeh and Gilmer, which io
distinetively unfair; nay, more, it Is
absolutely unworthy of him. Neither
Mr.. Tulloch nor Mr.. Gilmer has the
facility for reaching the public which
the Hon. Charles Emory Smith has.
We have repeatedly referred to Mr..
Tulloch's high standing as a business
man and as a man of honor. I'm the
community In which he lives he needs
no vindication at our hands. Brand
ing him as a "liar" is a waste of AMI
munition. The object Is not within
range. Nor is 1t very impressive to
sec an eX-ambassador and ex-member
of the Cabinet empty the walls of his
wrath upon a mere department clerk
and employ the vocabulary of a
tishwife in denouneing as theft what
appears to us u proper precautiOn on
the part of a subordinate, upon whom
"a superior forces an improper order.
What did Mr. Gilmer do? When
orally ordered by Comptroller Trace
we'll not to investigate the accounts Of
the New York and Washington post
offices, he requested an order to that
effect in writing. This order he kept
in his desk for his self-protection.
And, as subsequent events, proved, he
acted wisely. Yet here the Hon.
Charles Emory Smith pretends to see
in such an act nothing but pilferine
and thieving. Go to! we say. The
public viii laugh at the Hon. Charles
Emory Smith-that is to say, if ii
ever takes the trouble to peruse his
double-leaded illusions. And in this
public, we ventureto assert, Is includ-
ed the President of the United States,
who hasn't vet, and never viii, re
pudiate" the report of Messrs. Bona
palte and Conrad.
We do wish the Hon. Charles En-
DRY Smith would subside go way
back and sit down." 1t Is so tiresome
to be compelled TO write about these
things. Still, as far as he IS con
cerned, we are bound to admire his
pluck, though we despise his judg-
ment.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
An English Scheme.
The Reform of the Scotch Language
to Be Attempted

to Be Attempted.
Report comes from Scotland that
an Enghshman from Liverpool Is 70
be sent into that land to teach the
school teachers English, to the end
that the speech of the Land o Cakes
may be corrected, and become as the
pure language of England.
It is net known just who originated
this remarkable idea. but whoever he
was he had go sense of humor, and
not very much sense of any other
kind The idea of trying to convince
"a Scotehman that the Scotch dialect
Is unworthy to be spoken Is rather
preposterous in itself, especially when
it IS considered that Scotch writers OF
any education have always been able
TO write good Engiish-as good as
any native Of London could write
when they happened 10 choose.
Finally, who IS TO be the Judge of
truly good English? There are as
many dialects IN that little island as
there are in this big country.
The satirieal Mr. Zangwill pictures
Mary Ann. the little girl fresh from
the country, as taught by her land
.ady to speak Cockney, in the firm be-
lief that that was really good English.
As a dialect, the patois Of Burns is
far preferable to that of Whitechapel.
1t may be a mere matter Of taste. but
we fancy most people would rather
hear q person say wee" OF ''hame''
on use any of the hundreds Of quaint
and poeric Scotch phrases which are
born of home-loving people, than
listen to chatter about ''lydies7 and
gels" and their '.wyes."
OF course, it IS TO be supposed that
the teacher from Liverpool who Is 20
attempt the task Of filing the burr
of Scotch tongues viii net talk Cock
ney: but the language OF the upper
classes. But the slang Of the upper
classes : certainly as exaggerated,
though hardly as picturesque, as that
of the lower classes. and a recent
writer defines their art Of pronuneia-
lion as that Of mispronouncing just
The right words IN just the right way.
This accent is bound TO change with
changing fashions, and on the whole,
II seems overwhelmingly probable thai
The csnny Scotch viii keep to their
own well-understood speech. rather
than attempt the ridiculous and i'm
possible task Of following the latest
changes Of accents made in London.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
UNCLE SAM MAY
SUSTAIN MORALES
Dewey and LOOmis Believe
Him Capable.
RESULT OF VISIT 10 ISLAND
Recognition Of Dominant Faction
Might Give It Strength to Restore
Orde- N Santo Domingo.

President Morales may be firmly e.
tablirhed at the head OF the Dominican
republic as a result of the visit of the
Mayfiewer TO Sant0 Domingo City,
Puerto Plata. Sanchez. San Pedro, and
other cities in Santo Domingo.
ADMIRAL DcWcy Assistant Secretary
Icomis. OF the State Department. and
other members OF the party on the
AIayfiowcr. were much impressed BY
the favorable comment they heard on
the island concerning the new heac OF
the republic. At Puerto PLATA. which is
Morales home. and the city in which
the movement TO have him succeed
President WOs-y-Gn originated. Cen
ersd Morales is held in high esteem
Morales Gaining Strength.
Inquiry at the leading Dominican
ports convinced the naval officers on
the Mayhower that President Morales
il gaining strength. and is far more
caTable Of maintaining order than any
CT his opponents. The Morales forces
have won many victories recently, and
bid fair TO overcome the followers Of
General Jiminez and the other revolu-
tiomary leaders.
General Wos-y-Gil, the former Presi-
dent OF the republic is now on his way
to the United States. for the purpose
Of opposing any formal recognition Of
President Morales.
Regardless Of anything which he may
say. IL is believed, however, that the
TTdted States viii soon give formal
recognition TO Morales, and his follow
eTs in the hope Of Strengthening his
power and enabling him 70 check the
revolutionary movement now running
the commerce Of the island
Something Must Be Done.
The recognition Of Morales by this
Government would doubtless result in
perpetuating the power Of his party in
Santo Domingo. Although the United
States does not wish 20 axe any part
in the strife at this time. Europe is
looking to the State Department 10 pO-
lice the troubl esome little island. and
prevent it from continuing in its pres
ent state of unrest Consequently the
recognition OF Morales would probably
be followed BY the sending Of United
States battleships 20 the island. and III
timately il might be necessary for this
Government TO send land forces TO San
TO Domingo, to protect foreigners from
the malicious attacks OF insurgents.
who are continually striving TO prove
President Morales incapable Of main
tanning order.
Admiral Dewey. Mr. LOOMS. and
other members OF the Mayhower have
discussed the Dominican situation fully
with the President and Secretary Hay,
and some action by the Administra ton
affecting the island republic is expected
in short time.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
THE
PERSONAL
SIDE
Prisoner Charged With Soda
Water-ChineSe Lega-
ton in Need of Maps.
Poem by Mr.. Ware.

Representative Wade. who. humorous
ly styles himself the ''solid Democratic
delegation in Congress from Iowa. "
by reason of the fact that he is the
lone Democrat from the Hawkeye State
is serving his first term, but has al
ready established reputation as a
story teller. which makes him a worthy
successor of Private John Allen as the
wit Of the House.
Mr.. Wade is a native of Vermont, but
Notwithstanding the fact that he first
saw light in thai rOck-ribbed Republican
States. is a Democrat through and
through. He is a polished orator, anc
so weaves amusing anecdotes through
the thread of his speeches that he not
only. always commands uninterrupted
attention. but whether in the House or
on the stump keeps his audience in con-
slant good humor. This is only one Of
his volume Of funny stories.
An Irish policeman picked up an in
ebriate in the streets and carried him
to the police station. The next morning
he took his prisoner into court. The
effect of a prolonged jag" had appa--
emily affected the mans powers Of
speech for all that he could say when
brought before the court was "sh-shee-
sh."
What is your name" asked the
court?
"sh-shee-sh,' said the prisoner strug-
CLING to talk
where do you uve2" Again, ''sh-shee-
sh.
How old are you same effort to re-
ply.
Are you married?'' .sh-shee-sh.'
officer" exclaimed the court in dis
gust. what is this man charged With?"
Faith. yer honor. sur replied the
policeman. Il don't know sur. unless
he is charged with soda wather?"
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
Modern Millinery.
The Alleged Intention Of the Tyrant
MilIiner to Prevent Economy.

Inc AllegeQ intention CT the 4yfdHI
MilHner to Prevent Economy.
1t Is said to be the intention OF the
mllmers to adorn spring hats with
small fruits, and summer hats with
flowers. with the avowed object OF
preventing the economical woman
from wearing the spring hat through
the summer. From the same source.
probably, came the declaration of
war, some time ago, against home
made hats, one leading milliner hav-
ing said that no self-respectin2
woman could possibly be seen on the
street in a hat which was homemade.
If this thing goes on-let the milh-
ners be warned in time there may be
a new Declaration of Independence.
The American woman who buys the
hats, and the American man who pays
the bills. will not stand too much of
this kind Of thing.
There are a few women, doubtless,
who would enjoy wearing a new hat
in a new style every month, or even
every week, but the number of these
women who can afford TO indulge their
tastes Is not large enough to keep all
he milliners' shops going. There are
also women who feel dreadfully I'M
comfortable if they have to wear any
thing which is as much as q week be-
hind the fashion, but they are not 50
numerous either. The millincrs may
as we'll come down TO cold truth, and
recognize the fact that if they want
20 make their business profitable they
viii have TO consider the taste Of the
average woman; and the average
woman has too many other things to
do with her time and money to run
about selecting new hats and gowns
for every month in the year More
over, the average woman of good
taste has some respect for her own
style Of beauty. and she viii not adopt
fashion which is distinctly unbe-
coming. Having selected a hat
trimmed with a particularly fetching
cluster Of violets, will she throw that
hat IN the ash-barrel. and buy one
trimmed with radishes and lettuce be
cause IT happens to be in the millines's
window Hardly.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
No Letters of Lobe.

Every woman in Indiana who can
write has penned Senator Beverage a
letter protesting against his pro-Smoot
attitude in the investigation Of Senator
Shoots family history. which is being
conducted by the Senate committee OF
which Mr.. Beveridgc is a member. All
the Indiana women who cannot write
have been supplied with secretaries who
have written Secretary Beveridge two
letters for luck
The Indiana Senator has a sort OF
Senate mail monopoly these days. and
the letters are ali on scented stationery
and addressed ia dainty writing They
como from all parts OF the United
States. and American women who are
travelling in foreign lands have added
to the ncver-cndinS string Of protests.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
'SuIIHafpinaon Ny Daughter
The Hon. Charles Emory Smith Re
turns to the Charge

"Shll karping on my daughter :"
We refer, Of course. to the Hon
Charles Emory Smith, late p. NJ. G.
He hasn't had enough of 1.-THE dis
closures of rottenness IN certain bu-
reaus Of the Postoffice Department ia
general, and the mismanagement OF
the Washington postoifice in the IN
terest Of needy politicians in particu-
lar He still thinks the public con
meets him in some way with the
grafters, and that he is being held re-
sponsible for all sorts Of things which
have come to light since he ceased to
be the titular head Of the Postoifice
Department. He persists in 'buttine
IN where, IN the opinions of disin-
terested outsiders, there Is not the
slightest occasion for getting excited.
He reminds us Of the infatuated bull
facing the flying express train IN the
middle Of the track. GO IL, old man (:
20 it, exclaimed his enthusiastic
owner, who had all The Instincts Of a
Sport in him. go i'll admire your
pluck, bat | despise your Judgment
Yes. we admire the Hon. Charles
Emory Smiths pluck, but we despisc
his Judgment lie not only viii not
gel anything for his pains. but he s.
masking himself a trfe ridiculous 10
boot The public, we venture to say.
has made zap It's mind about this Pos.
office business, and Is not going 10
change il, simply because the Hon.
Charles Emory Smith pets excited
and calls names. 1t VIII laugh 1T his
assertion that "his Cthe Presideufs)
action rcpudiates the Conrad-Bona-
parte report. and the only result is 10
discrcdit the special COUNSEL as invas-
hgators and disgrace them as law
yers." II viii laugh at his double
loaded Mysteries about Biessrs. Bona
parte and Conrad as il laughed, lasI
year, at his prediction that the phrase
she lied like a Tulloch' would become
part and parcel Of the English Ian
guage. It Will laugh at his denuncia-
tions Of T. W Gilmcr as a ''piferer"
and a "purloiner Of papers rs it
laughs at his saying that Mr.. Payre
was Fright and correct in character
ling the Tulloch charges as ''hot air. !"
Il viii laugh, we say, and reluctantly
take the Hon. Charles Emory Smith
at his own ure-relnctantly. be-
cause it would ike 10 believe that he
Is simply good man gore wrong.
There is a vindictiveness IN every
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
Definition of Lent.

prominent Episcopalian clergyman
Of this city called on one Of his par
ishioners recently. and in the course u
the visit. received some information
about the family which was not OF u
reassuring nature.
His informant was the little slX-year-
old daughter Of the woman parishiou--
on whom the minister was calling.
When the child went into the parlor,
the reverend gentleman. wishing to ap-
pear sociable, asked her II she could
tell him what the word Lent" signi-
fed
On. yes. she answered. brightly.
ITS the only time that papa has Il
chance TO quarrel with mamma for nos
staying at home at night the other
part of the year"
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
SERMON or REALITY,

The sermon in the two Christian
Science Churches yesterday was on
Reality" 1t brought out in practical.
logical manner the teachings OF Chris
tian Science upon the subject-that God
and His creation IS the real and eternal.
end error and material sense is a false
sense Of creation. AS thought IS Duri-
fed and lifted above the testimony OF
matter. we gradually awaken In the
image and likeness Of God. and this
must be done before heaven Giarmony)
is attained. by correct living. not by
dying. and thus Gods kingdom Will
come on earth, even as IL is I'm heaven.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
RESCUE OF MISS STONE.

The Rev. DR.. J. Henry House, mis-
sionary in Bulgaria and Macedonia. for
eight years, and the rescuer of Miss
Ellen Stone. spoke at the Church Of
the Covenant yesterday morning. RE
told Of his work In Bulgaria and Mace
donia, and spoke Of the cordially with
which the missionaries had been re-
ceived In all quarters. even by the
priests of the orthodox religion.
DR.. House appealed for funds TO
found an industrial schol in Northern
Macedonia for native boys. an institu-
ton patterned after the one at Hamp-
ton. Va.
Dr.. House will tell the story of the
rescue Of Miss Stone at the Church of
the Covenent Thursday evening.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
Clara Barton to ReCeiV2
Spanish War Veterans

Clara Barton has arranged 10 give d
reception 90 the District of Columbia
Corps, Spanish War Veterans. on Tues
day. March p. at her home at Glen
Echo. The invitation is extended TO all
members OF commands and auXiliarie.s.
Those who participate viii meet In
Spanish War Veterans Hail, 10 Sixth
Street. at O'Clock, preparatory TO taxi
ing the cars. Mrs Allyn *. Capron,
president or the Lincal Society of the
Spanish War. viii assist Miss Barton IN
entertaining the visitors.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
DOMESTIC DIFFICnrrv

Gnhooly-You say your wife IS in a
bad humor?
Pennybunker-Yes. She is
What is she angry about"
I'm the first place she got angry at
the servant girl. then she got angry
at nc becarse / didn't get angry at the
servant girl. and now she is angry
at herself because J got angry at her
because she got angry at the servant
girl DO you understand Chicago
Journal
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
At FLORIDA RESORTS.

Secretary Wilson. Of the Department.
of Agriculture, who. with Miss VISOR
left Washington some time Igo Tot .
visit to Florida, has left Miami where
he and his daughter have been staying
and is now In Jacksonville.
During his stay At Miami ar Wlilon
inspected the experiment Government
station there. I1is visit to J3cAson-
vile is one of pleasure, a-J ne WA
remain there for a few days 10 attend
lhe convention of the Southeastern
States Stock Brokers Association which
COnvenes tomorrow
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
Lun16aeo Causes Ware to
OzrS;fy.

Pension Commissioner Ware has fed
for the South to take a much needed
rest Before going he wrote the Presi-
dent "a short note in lead pencil char
ncters that ran as follows:
take this piece Of plumbaep
To toll You ] have the lunbago;
sltai, HE me away
For o WceE ard a dav
For Z feel Ike "a very bum DaCo.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
ARTIST CLARK DEAD.

SAN DIEGO, Cal. March 21.-George
Merritt Clark of Buffalo. a well-known
member of the American Water Color
Society. Of New York, died at his Cal
ifornia home near Bostonia, In this
county, yesterday.
The Washington times., 1904-03-21
Rice Throwing.
Time for the Discontinuance of a Mis-
placed Custom.

An inconsiderate guest at a recent
wedding followed the bride and
groom TO the station, and threw bag
of nee at the head Of the latter, with
the result that the unfortunate man
was struck senseless and the wedding
journey had to be postponed. 1t Is
probable that nothing that anybody
can say will convince the people who
do these things that they are vulgar
and impertiaent, since those who are
vulgar and impertinent usually live
and die without being ever aware of
the fact. But to those who have IN