The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-09-17

Conductor-I got your fare before
sir. Passenger know. This nickel
Is TOT the company.--Judge.
I'm getting old" Having rheo.
natism y Worse than that. Pm hay.
ing "reminiscences. "-Cincinnat Trib.
une. LIZ
80 she has started on a life Jour
ney into matrimony, has sheYp "Well
guess 1t is only an excursion trip
Brooklyn Life.
Bursley-He claims to be related n
you, and says he can prove it FLOYD
-Ine mans a fool. Bursley-That
may be a mere Smart
Set.
Wife-Good graciousl Do Won hea,
that sound from the kitchen? Nor.
dishes broken. I'll warrant Husband
Never mind, dear, it has stopped In,
cooks singing.
Affected Youth Ito man ringing 70.
bell at ferry landing)-Aw-my man
why is this bell ringing? Man-Cant
you see, you idiot. It's because In
pullln' the rope?
Mrs. Haggard-Do you know. myselt
and my daughter are often mistaken
for sisters. Mrs. Gay-Ah. the deai
girl must be studying too hard, dom
you think Puck.
Jimmy-Ma, did v buy George
birthday present? Ma4Yes. Jimm,
Ma, what did y buy t pacify M
cause faint my birthday ?-Cincinna
CONCENTRATIONS.
Dingdong-Dld you try that cigar
gave you yesterday? Biffbang-Yes
but it didn't deserve a trial. Ding
dong-Why, what do you mean2 Bin
bang-It should have been lynched.
Mrs. Kenway-You used to say tina
l was the apple of your eye. Mr.. Ker
way-Well. what of It? Mrs. Kenwa
Nothing. except that you don't seer
to care as much for fruit as you ono
did.
George-Ethel, dear, I'm going to IL
teryiew your father tonight. Ethel
All right, George And If anythin
happens I'll come to the hospital twic
day until you are able to be oil
again.-Chicago News.
81 punish you, Browning, because
love you. But you are too young I
understand what a mothers love is
els 1t two soles with but a sing
thought; two hands that beat as one
Life.
Mistress (who is going out for ii
day)-And, Mary, you may invite
friend to come in to tea, II you lik
Mary-Please. m, l haven't got an
friends. only know young women!-
Punch.
Harold anticipating things -
wasn't at school yesterday, Mi:
Bangs. His Teacher (severely)-N'
you were not. Harold (decisively)-
Miss Bangs. I've got to turn over
new leaf or get into trouble.
Hettie-Now that you have broke
your engagement with Fred, shall yc
return to him the diamond ring
gave you? Minna-Certainly not, He
tie: It would be a constant remind
Of the happiness he had missed.
, Customer Ito chemists assistant-
In a business like this l presume "
have gained some practical experien
Of therapeutics? Chemists Asslsta
Q Indeed. yes, sir l had 'em when
!, was ten years old. Broke out all oy
: me.
4 A Chance to Get Even.-"l wish
: said the expressman to the lawy'
Q "that you would send In your bill
i Iepal advice" IL am waiting" repi
/, the lawyer, until l get your bill
4 nv May moving. I'd rather have
y last chance."-Ex.
r Actress (angrily)-Did you WI
that criticism which said my imp
Isonation of 1.-THE Abandoned WIFI
wss a miserable failure? Critic
Ye-y-e-s; you see, you looked so ir
sistibly beautiful that it was impos
BILE to fancy that any man could abs
q don you'll
First Stockholder-I don't see W
. 1neople should be allowed to carry pa'
$ ages on the elevated roads. Seco
Stockholder-Why shouldn't the
First Stockholder-Well, if it were
for the packages we could crowd
few more people Into each car.-Io'
and Country.