davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

IL does not pay to be too striking In
ones individuality unless that chnrac-
teristic Is the 0utsprlnging of ones
own nnture. Directly little eccentrlcl-
ties ARE assumed criticism IL Invited.
We become conspicuous, and tho I'M
conventional beauty which we wish to
achieve turns to gull and NORWOOD In
whit the world calls only "quecrness. =
Unless you can be nrtisticnlly out or
the ordinary do not try To be other than
commonplace. 1t does not pay to bring
down rcprOach and sarcasm upon your
unprotected head for the sake of win
ming notorlety. Better by far to pursue
the even tenor of your way. exactly ms
thousands Of other murtals do than to
strike out into new pnths which lead
only into the Jungle Of rIdlcule and
condemnation.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
HOW A WATCH WORKS.
A vibrating wheel Takes the Place
of the Clocks Pendulum.

A vibrating wheel Takes the Place
of the Clocks Pendulum.
A watch differs from clock III its
having vibrating wheel instead of
vibrating pendulum and IA In II clock
gravity Is always pulling the pendulum
down to the bottom of Its are, which Is
It's natural place of rest, but does not
fix II there because the momentum nc-
qulred during Its fall from one side
carries II np To nm equnl height on the
other. 50 IN Il watch spring generally
spiral. surrounding the axis of the bal
ance wheel, Is always pulling this to-
ward middle position of rest, but does
not fix II there because the momentum
acquired during its approach to the
middle position from either side carries
IL Just as far pnst ON the other side,
and the spring has to begin its work
again. The balance wheel nj each vi
bration allows one tooth of the ndJoln
Ing wheel 10 pass. Ms the pendulum
does In II clock. and the record of beats
IL preserved hy the wheel which fol
lows A handspring IL used TO keep up
the motion of the watch instend of the
weight used In clock, and as II spring
nets equally we'll whatever be Its posi-
ton, watch keeps time, although car
ried In the pocket or In II moving ship.
In winding up watch one turn OF the
axle.on which the key Is fixed Is render
ed equivalent by the train of wheels to
about 400 turns or beats OF the balance
wheel. md thus the eXerton during n
few seconds of the hand which winds
up gives motion for twcnty-four or
thirty hours
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
CANTERBURY CATHEDRAL.
Only One English King, Henry W.,
Has Been Entombed There.

Only One English King, Henry w.,
Has Been Entombed There.
The ancient cathedral ut Canterbury
shelters the remains of only one Eng
fish king, Henry Nv. That this par
ticular monarch should have been Ell
tombed there is the more remarkable
since he breathed his last In the Jeru-
salem chamber of Westminster abbey,
and IT might naturally have been sup
posed In the circumstances that he
would have been laid TO rest in the alb
hey, where SO many other of England's
kings sleep their last sleep II seems,
however, that Henry before his death
gave orders that he was to be buried
I'm the cathedral ut Canterbury oppo-
site the tomb of his uncle. Edward.
the Black Prince
For hundreds OF years II story was
current that on the way down the riv
er n hurricane arose and that the PEG
pie on board the vessel convinced that
the storm was caused by the fact that
II kings body was on board, cast the
corpse into the water In the dead of
night and. filling the coffin with rub
bsh. brought it with all pomp and cir
cumstanee To the cathedral. Some
years ago the dean and chapter resolv-
ed TO get nj the truth OF the story.
So they opened the royal tomb and
the kings lead coffin. For one brief
moment dean and chapter gazed upon
the kngly lincaments of that monarch
whom Shakespeare describes as "sky
aspiring Bolingbroke." Only for mo
ment. however ms the body crumbled
to dust almost mt once. But Canter-
bury now knows beyond NIL doubt that
an English king rests within Its walls.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
CHEAP SILKS.
they DO Not Wear Well because
They Are Heavily AduIterated.

they Do Not Wear Well because
They Are Heavily Adulterated.
The woman whose silk skirt splits
the second or third time she wears it
is apt to sigh for the silks of her
grandmother's day. with their seeming
ly fmpcrshablc qualities, but as n mat
ter of fact silks are much better now
than they were before. The ancestral
silks. which were woven on hand
looms. were never of an even texture,
whereas with modern machinery the
last inch of hundred yard piece
comes out exactly the same us the first
one. The art of dyeing, too has been
brought to state of perfection never
knNtn before and communication be-
tween the silk workers of the world is
so rapid that discovery made by one
Is soon known to all the others. The
reason SO many modern silks do not
wear is because they are adulterated
to meet the demand for eheapness,
their wearing ability being in exact
proportion TO the amount of silk they
contain. Cheap silks are largely made
up of dye and dressing. \ good quail
ty of silk Is defined by manufacturers
rs one which has not more than four
ounces of wcghtlng to the pound,
and none have less than two ounces
Most of the welghting Is put In during
the dyelnG process, and when n man.
ufacturer sends n quantity of silk to
the dyer he says that he wants 1t to
come back weighing so much, accord
Ing to the amount of adulteratlon re-
quired New York Tribune,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
FOND OF A GOOD HORSE.
Thomns Jefferson Was Particular In
Selecting His Steeds.

Selecting His Steeds.
l am complently satisfied with my
horse from Major Eggleston. n better
one In harness l never drove, lie
brought me in my single phueton from
Washington, without ever appearing
fatigued, altho the roads were bad. X
the weather rainy. he Is fine tempered
and manageable, tho high spirited.
tho the price was about 90 ID too much
advance In the purchase of II horse to
know that he was what | wished. Cas-
tor. X FitZpartner are both left here at
nurse, and | shall hive them sold,
consequently my stable Will he reduced
to Diomede n st. Louis. Il match for
Diomede, as good as he is, would make
1t up what will suffice for me rs II pri
vate citizen l will thank you To be
ON the enquiry. for such an one. and to
give me notice of price properties.
but II Will be essential TINT Ire match
Diomeie tolerably, and be we'll broke to
the carriage n no banker. trouble
you with these commissions because
you are In the only part of thc country
where fine horse can be got. l leave
this for Washington the day after to
morrow, present me with all pos
slble affection to the family. and be ns-
sured of my constant attachment X re
spect. TIL JEFFERSON.
Family Letters Of Thomas Jefferson
In Scrlbner's.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

The two strangers who were stand
Ing at II downtown corner crossed the
street and accosted young mnn on
the opposite corner.
"Will you please tell me-" said one
OF them. (which IL the best way to go
from here to Seventy second streetr
well" replied the young man, the
best way, of course, IL to take an au-
tomobile. If you cant do TINT | sug-
gest street car MS the next best
"rhank you" said the stranger. Il
was so certain from your appearance
that you would give civil answer TO
civil question That | bet two dol
lar bin on that proposition with my
friend here. gee have lost. One
can't always Judge from appearances.
Good morning. sir" Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
CLIMBING PLANTS.
The Five Different Classes, With
Their Pecutisrities.


Climbing plants may be divided into
five classcs-hook climbers, root climb.
ers, twiners. leaf climbers and tendrll
bearers.
Hook climbers are equipped with
hooks which nre caught up In the sur
rounding vegetation.
Root climbers, like Ivy. throw out
fibers along their stems and ascend
slowly. inslnuatlng themselves by
means OF rootlcts, which grow away
from the light and become glued TO the
stems of trees or to harder surfaces.
Twiners. like the scarlet runner, hop,
convolvulus and bryony, Irvine them
selves around the upright stems of
their nelghbors. Some Ike the convol-
vulus. bend toward the left: others. like
the hop Irvine to the right.
The climbing habit, however, IL most
perfectly exhibited by plants with sen
sitive prehensile organs, either leaves
or tendrls.
In the tendril bearers we find here
and there along the stem sensitive,
twlnIng. whiplke structures. which
curve To whit they touch and eyentn-
ally link themselves round II. OF this
sort nrc the passion flower. sweet pea.
grapevine and Virginia creeper. Pear
sons
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
A TIGHT PLACE.
How the speaker saved n Congress-
mnn brom IA Costly Joke.

nnn From Costly Joke.
1t was Il gay time In congress one
night when there was an all night ses-
sion on the Mills tariff bill in lSSS. 1t
had been difficult To keep Il sufficient
attendance, and the house had adopted
II resolution directing the sergeant ut
arms To compel the presence of absent
members. One by one they We're
brought before the bar of the house
and after making all sorts of excuses
and explanations were permitted To
go unpublished.
about midnight Congressman Hen
derson was brought before the speaker.
He had, he said, no excuse to Offer.
Il WAS ut a thcatcr party" he con
tlnucd. when | was arrested and
brought here There Is no sort OF ex
euse for absence without leave"
Il move That the gentleman from
Iowa he fined $5,oo0r' called one OF
Ilenderson's colleagues.
Il second the notion shouted TWEEN
ty or more members. all of them his
friends
1T is moved and seconded" said
Speaker Carlisle, that the gentleman
from Iowa be fined $1,000. Those In
favor of the motion will say Aye"
Two hundred delighted voices shout
ed Aye"
"rhose opposed Will say NO"
ucndersnn's ngonlzed voice wns alone
In yelling Mo-
There was but one way TO slip out
of the Joke and prevent the motion
from being Carried. and TINT was for
Speaker Carlisle to override the house.
"The nays have IT," said he gravely.
"rhe gentleman Is excused"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

As she took the bit of pasteboard
she started and flushed; then. with
tluttering apology. was Off to adjust
the wraps Of an old lady who was try
ing to get nap And when nj the first
stop she left the train escorted by II
bodyguard six or eight strong, with II
musical "Goodby, everybody, and bon
voyage" over her shoulder, the major
felt that HIS advances had not been
warmly received
During the two days which the ma
jor and his son, who had gone ahead,
spent over the business which had
called them from home the younger
man found his patience tried by the
incessant illusions to "the girl who
saved our lives"
az girl like that. Warren would
make wife worth having! Capable
TO the last degree None of your
aesthetic ethics about her. What you
can see in that college creation you're
SO determined to-"
III you please father. remember that
am engaged to marry Miss Berkeley
marks even from you. If you would
only consent to see her you would not
feel 80. | know.
We'll well, never mind! But girl
like that | could welcome as II daugh-
ter, was the regretful response
ON the return trip, by daylight, the
major grew ylsibly excited ms they
nenied the town where the girl had
stopped
I'm watch closely, Warren. If she
should happen to be ut the train |
could point her out"
"Ye-cs." drawled Warren absently:
then he started forward MS the train
pulled In Marcia Why. what In the
world
But his father WIS peering through
the window. by love. there she Is,
And she's no yes she's getting on,
Don't be excited. Warren. If you can
help IT,"
And the major turned TO see his
digniiicd son dnshing down the aisle.
then he held his breath as he saw him
warmly greet the angel of the mid
night feast.
Father. this is Miss berkeley
Marcia" began Warren peraunsively,
when. To his surprise, the maiden said:
Il have met your father before.
though Major Blackburn did not ut the
time know me.
Father and son gazed from each
other Ia the girl Comprehension
dawned simultaneously Then the mn
jor put out both hands with laughter
In his eyes.
But Marcia questioned Warren.
as they seated themselves. Il don't
understand yet Why are You away
from the university"
Three days leave Of absence for
experimental sociology
Marcia" said the major ndmlra-
ton and wonder controlling his voice,
Tint stew. didn't know college
girls ever did such things
My tomato bisquc:' she laughed.
al ain famous for that In my chatting
dish and found just the right things"
Tomato gasped the major sinking
back weakly THAT wasn't tonnt0!
Il guess | never tried any before.
1t was very nice"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
MACARONl.
II Is Made From the Meal of IA wheat
Called Semoiinn.

thtieu Semotthn.
Macaronl, which Is derived from the
Italian word maecare, to crush, is pre-
pared from the meal of hard variety
of wheat which is cultivated In the
south of Europe and in other warm
climates. Its suitability for the manu-
facturc of mucaroni, vermicelli and
other pastes Is to be found In the easy
preservation of preparations made
from II and also In its richness In glu-
ten ana other heterogeneous substances.
The meal of this wheat, which Is
named semollna and Is itself COM
mcrcial article, Is mixed Into n stiff
dough with boiling water and while
still hot is placed into II metallic cylin
der, ut one end of which IL n thick disk
pierced with openings and into the
other end of which piston Is intro
dnccd, which forces the dough out
through openings which correspond
with the section of the article which It
Is intended To make.
Ordinary tube macaron has Its form
given to II by mandrels of the requisite
thickness, which are fixed within the
openings of the disk II Is dried by
hanging IT In long strings in stoves
through which current of air Is driv-
en- London Express.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

Something must have stung your
dog" said Il resident OF this city TO II
suburbanite, whom he was visiting II
few days ago. as he noticed the antics
Of large collie which, inter swapping
frantlcally at n flying insect, lowered
his head and carefully licked his right
forepaw.
mo" replied the owner Of the dog
that is only n little delua.pn of his.
When he was n puppy II 10 lung him
on that foot you see him aendlng to-
and ever since he has terished II
standing grudge against ng insects.
Apparently the sight of "h" not only
arouses his anger, but Iccalls most
vIvidly his first experience with one,
for each time after runnin after one,
whether he catches II or not lie stops
and tenderly Hicks the place where he
was stung two years ago. AS far az
know hc has never been stung since
them Philadelphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
A Iesson In Do1fDg.

"What are you going to d ,, Henry Z
asked Mrs Uptodate as her husband
unwrapped pair of boxing gloves.
Pm going to give Willie some les
sons IN self defense" he answered.
Every boy should know how to take
care of himself In an emergency Come
on. Willie. | won't hurt you"
Twenty minutes Inter Mr.. Cptodate
returned. with n hand up to his face.
Get me II piece Of raw meat to put
on my eye and some arnica," he said.
why. you don't mean 10 say that
Willie"
NO. don't or course | don't. I've
discovered that the only way to teach
that boy IL with strap. New York
Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
THE ROUND ROBIN.
Ns Origin, II liz said, Can he Traced
Back to Ancient Greece.

Bnck 20 Ancient Greece.
According to British naval docu-
ments of the years 1858 and 1859, II
was the custom of seamen of that day
to use the round robin ns II safe and
effective means of bringing their griev-
ances before the authorities. A similar
practice existed I'm France, but the al
legged origin of the term 'round robin"
from rond ruban, II circular band used
IN the French petitions, In probably
fallaciOua.
The term existed In England long be
fore, with wholly different meaning,
Thus Ia Deyonshlre II ''round robin"
was small round pancake. and the
sacrnmental wafer was called II ground
robin" by Latimcr, 1895.
DR. limbs says that the idea of the
round robin has been traced back To
Greek conspiracy against the tyranny
Of the Pisistratldac. The Romans had
II similar custom OF writing the names
OF their guests or friends In II circle
when anxious not to indicate amy indi-
yidunl preferences. London Standard.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
DID HIS BEST.
He brought the Only Cant Hook
That lie Could Find.

He brought the Only Cant Hook
That lie Could Find.
Ii the report of the Fulton Gazette IL
true n Missouri farmer. accompanied
by several Of his hired men. went into
the woods one morning in the fall of
the year to cut down some trees. When
about TO begin work II was discovered
that the cant hook had been left be
hind Turning to one of the men, an
Irishman not very long over the farm
or instructed him to drive back to the
barn for the missing tool. The Irish
man did not know what II cant hook
looked like, but was Hyerse 10 exposing
his ignorance SO drove Off On his er-
rund, trusting to find some ne ut the
farm who would enllghten III.
AT the barn. however. there WINS no
one to help him out of his dilemma.
Casting his eyes about the place for
the thing that would be most likely
To bear the name of cant hook" he
saw n mulley COW with never sign of
horn upon Its head and concluded
II was what he had been sent for.
Procuring rope he fastened the cow
to the rear end of his vehicle and ex-
ultingly drove bnck 10 the woods.
Whit the Sum I'm have you got
there" shouted the farmer on seeing
his messenger and the COW. Il sent
you for the cant hook TO use In moving
the logs. Wbat have you brought that
COW for
BE jabcrs. boss. diyll another thing
could / see around the barn that can't
hook but this"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

Keep 10 the Right and Co Ahead.
The story il told that on certain oc-
cnsion when II company Of persons
were discussing In crowded room sn
cred subjects and certain prominent
men one suddenly exclaimed: II should
like 10 meet that bishop of Llchfield.
I'd put II question to him that would
puzz'e him.
VERY we'll" said voice out OF an
other corner. NOW is your time, for
l am the bishop"
The man was somewhat startled and
taken aback, but presently recovered
himself and said, well my lord, can
you tell me the way to heaven?"
Nothing easier" answered the bish
OPP; you have only to turn to the right
and go straight ahead"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
Divorce Law. In Sweden.

The divorce laws Of Sweden are elias
tic. When the lncompatlbllity OF TEN
per reaches the eliminating point one
OF the parties proceeds to Copenhagen,
ly twelve hours distant, and remains
there for fourteen days, notifying the
Swedish consulate, which circum-
stances are regarded AZ legal evidence
OF descrtlon and sufficient ground for
divorce
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
POSITION IN SLEEP.
The Connection between Health and
the WAY of the Bed.

Inc connection HetWecn
the WAY of the Bed.
A French scientist claims to have es-
tablshcd distinct connection between
our health and the position which our
beds occupy with regard to the points
OF the compass. He relies upon the
fact that the sap of trees Is gradually
driven toward the east by centrifugal
force 50 that they develop more on that
side This Induces him TO argue that
when we remain In bed for several
hours with our heads toward the east
this will tend to drive the liquids of our
body from west to east and our blood
has tendency to flow toward the
brain. SO that we sleep uneasily and
find ourselves less fresh when we
awake than If our feet had pointed
eastward.
If our bed stand north and south II IS
better to lie with the head northward,
as the centrifugal force acts from north
to south IN our hemisphere.
This old Inscription on bedstead Ii
good: so that We harte be rite, 1t mat
tiers not which waye ye head laye."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
Tlbctnns and JcyveIry.

Tibetnns. like NIL people of low
civilization, delight In SNOWY and mass
I've Jewels \ man IL only poorly
adorned with IA heavy silver earring,
coral mounted. The women wear regu-
lar jewelers. shops on their heads.
Among the nomnds their hnlr, arrnng
cd In lnnumcrable small tresses that In
volye more than whole days work, IL
decorated with three great bands OF
wooden stuff or red silk strewn with
rublcs, shells, artificial pearls, corals,
turquolses, amber heads. red agate,
gold silver or copper rellquarles.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

The wife of II burglar was being ex-
amlncd by an eminent lawyer. You
are the wife of this MANI asked the
barrlster Yes" replied the witness.
you knew he was a burglar when you
married him?" continued the lawyer.
Yes" she answered. And how did
you come TO contract marriage with
such man." well, 1t was this way,
said the witness sarcastically, Il was
getting old and had to choose between
n burglar and lawyer. What else
could | do%
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
She Was Joking.

mo" she said. II can only be n
sister to you
"Very WELL" said he. II must be go
Ing. had expected different answer,
but well. good night"
George" she fnltered, az he was
leaving the room. George"
"What IL III" he asked Grossly.
"Aren't you going TO kiss your sister
good nightE He did not go.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

"You told me that when we were
married you would see that my every
wish was gratiied," remarked tie
bride Of few weeks.
"WellY replied her husband rather
CURLY.
"Wel, | wish was single again. :
Philadelphia Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

A lady had just lost her husband 4
gentleman living next door. on calling
TO see her, found her. to his great sur
prise, playing on the harp and said:
Dear me! | expected to find you In
deep distress" ~
All" the lady pathetically replied
you should have seen me yesterday"
--Arlequin
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09

"Who's that unhappy looking fellow
over therer'
''That's Scrlbaers. lie writes Tor the
funny papers"
"He doesn't look as though he had
any sense OF humoH"
"Who said he had i"-Cleyeland Plain
Dealer 4
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
His waning Love.

81 nm afraid George Is beginning TO
grow cold toward me-" half sobbed the
young wife
whats he been doing nowY' inqulr-
ed her mother sharply.
an his last letter he only sends me
thousand kisses, and always before
he used to send 10000 600,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
uIs md Her work.

"Woman oyerworked? Fudge. Think
of the men"
"Ah. but you know the old saying,
'Woman's work is never done.
II know it. and that's the reason she
oughtn't to complain. a man has to do
his work or lose his job"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
Dreadful,

The Groom What are you thinking
of. dearest? The Bride / wasthinking
If your father and mother had never
met or mine had never met or we had
never been born or hadn't loved each
other or or something. how dreadful
everything would have been
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-09
She wus Gazing.

HOAX My wife went out to shop to
day and lost pockctbook containing
500 Joax Did she lose it going to the
stores or coming back? Hoax Going
| said there was money in It. didn't IL
Philadelphia Record.