The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-02-25
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pull that gets ahead. She-But-it's
the man with the head that gets pull
Life.
rs he very rich?' "Rieh? Why.
he's so rich he daren't look twice at
girl for fear she'll bring a breach Of
promise suit"
Her Papa-And if | say no? The
Suitor-Well, | confess 1t won't have
the same effect on me as IL your dangh-
ter said it.-Puck.
The Infant Musician. HAS HairO-
witch always shown talent for
music?" Yes; even rs child he cried
every time his hair was cut. Life.
Crawford-Women are never salts
fled. rabshaw-That's so. My wife
begged me to get her a sealskin coat
and now she wants to go South for the
winter. >.
Perfect Happiness. do you really
believe there is such thing In this
world as perfect happiness" "Of
course; but some other fellow always
has it.'-Philadelphia Ledger.
EPITAPH OF YE BOOK AGENT.
Learned he was not. in
Greek or Geography.
All he had studied was
Autobiography.
Life.
The Poets Meals. I'm nearly fam.
ished. sighed the garnet poet. "Bnt
you told me you had two meals q day."
said the friend. Yes: oatmeal and
meal."-Philadelph Record.
"Say, pa" queried little Billy,
whats an echo?" IAN echo. my son."
replied the old man, with sigh long
drawn out, sis the only thing that can
film fam woman out OF the last
word"
He-Archibald saved the widow
from drowning you know, but he
couldn't save himself. She-You sure
ly don't mean that he lost his life? He
Not exactly. The widow married
him
A Warning. Mifkins-That scoun-
drel, Jobson, called me an idiot! BIZ
klns-He didn't prove 1T, did he? Milf
kins-No; but Bifkins-Then
I'd advise you let the matter drop. or
he might.-ChicagO News.
Patron-I suppose the leading lady
is very happy after getting all those
bouquets. Usher-Oh. no. She only
got Ave. Patron-Gracious! isn't that
enough? Usher-No; she paid for SIX
l believe-Philadelph Press.
The Mystery Of 1t. Il can't under
stan," said Uncle Eben, "how 1t is dat
some folks kin be too proud to work
an at de same time humble enough
to let de family give 'em board an
lodgin' free. "-Washington Star.
Reversing the Order. Willie-Pa,
you don't get chestnuts until after
there's frost, do you? Pa-Except in
the case of farce comedy, my son.
Then the chestnuts come first, and the
frost Philadelphia Press.
A Proud Lobster. Tommy Atkins
Aw! gwan, Mike, yer lobster! Mike
-Ye father me. Shure, q Holsters
wise animal, fur green is the color fur
him as long as he lives, an he'll die
before he puts on red coat.-Philadel-
phia Press.
| The Great Game Of Chance. But
why" asked the authorities, "are you
young women so interested in this
anti-gambling crusader" Because"
was the reply, "if We succeed marriage
will be the only game of chance left
open to the men."-Chicago Post.
Working Both. "Dr. Sharp is quite
wealthy, isn't he? Did he make all his
money from his practice?' Not all Of
it. He's the principal owner of a very
large oil well up the State, and"
"And he makes money from the sick
and the well, too."-Philadelphia
Press.
Peace Assured. aren't there some
jealousies in your progressive euchre
club?" mo, indeed" answered young
! Mrs. Torkins; when we buy prizes We
are always careful to select things that
no one really wants. so that the win.
her will not be an object of envy
Washington Star.
Cause of 1t. Il haven't quite deter
Mined" said the Charles Street father,
whether to have my daughters voice
cultivated here or abroad. What
would you suggestT' "Ohv' said the
obliging neighbor, abroad, by all
means"-and that's where. 1t all start
ed.-Baltimore News.
"How's your mother?" asked the
neighbor. Worried to DEATH" an.
swered the boy who was swinging on
the front gate Fathers away hunt
ing, brother Bills gone to a political
convention, brother Jake's Joined
football team, and the dressmaker Just
told mother that she'd look fright In
mourning"
Mother-You can't stay in this hot
city. Why don't you tell your hus.
band you must 30 to summer resort?
Bride-I-I don't dare. Mother-Why
not? Bride-If he says no." 1 will
be miserable because can't 60, and II
he says "yes," l will be miserable be.
cause he can live without me-New
York Weekly.
"Gee-whizz. exclaimed the report.
err. looking over his report of the we'd
ding in the paper, "I'll bet that bride.
groom will be SORE" Whats the mat
ter?" asked the Snake Editor. HE