Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-07-01
ANGER AND UGLINESS
BAD TEMPER AN ENEMY TO
BEAUTY IN WOMAN.
Fits Of Choler Apt to Break Up Domes-
tic Peace-Be Cheerful and
Considerable.

now OFTEN nave we heard people say, al
most with pride, at any rate with no trace
of shame, Il have very nasty temper"
And then as if to transfigure it into a very
virtue they triumphantly add, but it is
soon over" So it may may be. but how
about its consequences? Are they soon
over?
There are few more dangerous enemies
to the peace and comfort of everyday life
than the people who speak hastily in the
squalls of passing ill-temper, and then,
when they are restored TO good humor,
expect everything to be just as it was be-
fore. There is no such position possible as
Just as it before in this up-and
down-hill human nature of ours. Every act
or word Is a step by which we mount up
ward or sink lower in the unhindered jour
neyings onward of all the conditions of life,
and the people who give utterance to the
determinations of passionate tempers I'M
failingly drop down in the estimation of
others, from which it is stiff climb up
again.
Fashion in Tempers.
Moreover, words once uttered, whether
true or false, are usually undying and live
on in hearts and memories long after the
careless bow that shot such poisoned ar
rows forth is unstrung. And though the
utterer may plead that to feed his passion
he said not what he really believed. but
what he thought at the time would hurt
most. it is almost impossible for the nearer
to understand that the expression was not
that of i living though latent opinion, and
to feel 1t accordingly.
The code of fashion in the moral realms
has decreed how much better a passionate
temper is than sulky one; but there is
something to be said in favor of the lat
ter in that it only hurts itself. Like the
little girl when annoyed always ate her
apple tart without sugar, the guilty per-
son may suffer most individually, but that
is surely better than the suffering to the
innocent; caused by the random shots of
the fierce, though short onslaughts of
hasty temper. And silence is much less
generally disturbing than violence, though
perhaps quite unbecoming.
Bad temper, however, buys something
and costs something. In this unitarian age
1t will be well to compare the value of its
imports and exports and to see which Is
most worthy of our protection. 1t GER
tainly purchases in a large measure its
own way. The worst temper generally rules
the household, and ill-tempered people are
given way to for the sake of peace far
more than they deserve. So few of the
minor questions and decisions of life are
worth row, and therefore much is left
to the decision of those who will not brook
contradiction without scene.
The Cost of Bad Temper.
But its cost is great to those who care
more for what they are than what they
get. To be what you wish Is another thing
from getting what you want, and they who
indulge in bad temper must be quite sure
that the worth of getting outweighs that
of being. Being often involves having. but
not getting. The having is a gift to those
who are worthy; the getting is the pound
Of flesh for a preposterous and deeply re-
sented demand. Undoubtedly bad temper
gets, but at a cost which robs the posses
sion of all charm For after ALL our ac-
tual happiness depends more on the per-
sonal affection which We win than on the
unhindered course of self-will which We
pursue.
1t is difficult in these days to pick up a
paper or magazine that does not contain
some hints for the creation or preservation
of beauty. The age has opened its eyes
wide to the power of personal attractions,
and the polishing of those corners of the
temple which England desires her daugh-
tiers to become is much more of a practical
work than it used to be when girls were
supposed to grow up as the typical flowers
of their family traditions. Women who
now lean on their lineage and believe that
blue blood is an excuse for bad manners
and an ancient name for an uncultured
nature soon find themselves despised and
ignored, for there is no room on the worlds
stage for those who have not learned the
part of personal attractiveness.
The Ugliness of It.
OF all the recipes, however, which are
suggested for the process of identifying,
the simple one of a good temper Is left out
and yet there is nothing more personally
ugly and unattractive in woman than a bad
temper, though she often does not realize
this till her beauty is marred and her life
spoiled thereby Other women may forgive
bad temper. but men never do. 1t is in
their eyes the objectionable sin, and rightly
so, seeing that nothing so quickly creates
and insures a thoroughly unhappy home.
Let the girls who are being trained for
life remember that a bad temper will as
effectually ruin their chance of happy fu-
ture as any other hideous deformity and
when they would be ready to sacrifice so
much for the attainment of such powers
beauty, brilliance or fascination it is
surely worth while to swallow something
for the requirement of so great and last
ing a charm as good temper.
If a girl were to announce that she was
subject to sudden fits of madness but they
were soon over would it be likely that she
would be wanted as an inmate of her own
or any one elseS home? Yet what else is
an uncontrolled temper?
In men temper is also an ugly attribute,
but then 1t is a masculine prerogrative to
be able to carry off more unbecoming cloth
ing of mind and body. An evening party
whereat the ladies' dresses consisted solely
Of black cloth and starched white linen
would not be an artistic success, but our
eyes have grown accustomed to such garb
for men. So our sense of beauty Is not re-
VOTED by an angry man In the same way
as 1t is by an ill-tempered woman, though
we should do well to keep clear of all me-
chanisms which are subject to damaging
explosions for our safetys sake.
The Queer Man.
OF all forms of temper there is none more
tiresome to deal with than that which is
known as queer" Down comes a bolt from
the blue in the midst Of apparent sunshine,
and sudden gloom and moroseness hide
our friend completely from our view. An
injured attitude is assumed, martyrs
halo carefully pinned on, and happy, every
day life becomes an impossibility. People
who want to be loved or even liked should
never be difficult. Society has not time,
even If 1t had the inclination. to study
their idiosyncrasies and play up to all their
petty prejudices. The passionate and even
the sulky temper is forgiven sooner than
the difficult one, and is perhaps more pos
sble to cure.
The evils, the frivolities, the baneful in
fuences of a society life are amply set
forth in modern literature but for all that
there is no better school for the curing of
bad temper. What public-school life is to
boy society is to his sister, and If she
leans it's lessons well enough to avoid SUI
perannuation she will appear to be, and
probably eventually become, good tempered
under any circumstances, that SO she may
in Increasing the happiness of others most
certainly insure her own.