Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1904-03-04
= @EnsHES
yZeE0a

gave me no reasons whatever. Maid
Isn't she saint?-Judge.
First Theatergoer-Thi play wa,
taken from the Italians. Second Tbs
atergoer-Lucky Italians!-Smart Set
She-What is a "fool-killer." am
way? He-I don't know. l never ma
one. she-Naturally - PHILADELPHIA
Public Ledger.
Poor thing, did she take her hus
bands death much to hearth "Whr
she's prostrated with grief! She cant
see soul except the dressmaker."
DE man dat knows heap an dont
try to do muffin" said Uncle Eben
AN de man dat don know muffin an
tries to do heap is bof of 'em huis
ances. es."-Washington Star.
Ethel heard the count had jiltes
Gladys. Jean-Oh, no; he's too mucb
OF a gentleman for that. l know DOS
itiyely that he gave Gladys three day
in which to jilt him.-New Orleam
Democrat.
But they told me you had money
And they bunkoed me into thinkin,
you were rich" well, what's to b.
done about itT' Lets fall in Low.
just for spite. CONNER
cial Tribune.
He-Their enge cement is broken off
She-For what reason? why, he told
haf nna riohf ba
work hel face was ever before him.
well" why, he's a cartoonist!-
Yonkers statesman.
Money! see they've revived the
rumor that General Kitchener is to be
married. Henpeck-That wouldn't be
surprising. It's natural for him to
want to know something about every
form Of warfare.-Philadelp Press
Prisoner, why did you strike this
manT "If you please, your honor, he
came to me suddenly and said. How
old is AnnY =" well, what hurt did
that do?" why, you see, your hon.
or, Ann Is my wife."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
When Mr.. Smith started for lodge
meeting the other night he said to his
wife, Mary, l believe I'll take the
key, for I might have trouble in find.
ing it when l get home" YES" said
his wife, 'and you'd better take the
keyhole, too. o."-Lyre.
He-It certainly was a pretty wed.
ding, and everything was so nicely ar
ranged. She-That's just what think:
and the music was especially appro-
pirate. He-I don't remember. What
did they play? She-The Last Hope
-Lippincott's Magazine.
Isn't there some way to patch up
your differences with your husband?"
asked the kind lawyer. mo way at all,
sir" answered the woman. when
ever he gets the least bit mad he re-
minds me that l had to advertise to
get him."--Indianapolis Sun.
Il shall get divorce" cried the an
cry wife. her eyes flashing fire.
"Henceforth l shall be freer "Wel
l haven't any kick coming" calmly re.
Joined the husband. It'll be more
money in my pocket every morning,
tell you those. ."-Kennebec Journal.
Mistress-Did any one call vile 1
was out, Jane? Jane-Yis, mum. Wan
gentlemin wuz afther calm, mumf
Mistress--What was his name? Jane
Moike O'Rafrerty, mum, an he was
as glad to foind yez out as he wuz to
find me in, Dim thinkin', mum.-Chi-
cago News.
"A woman can never keep anything
to herself" said Danboy to his wife,
who had been repeating something he
didn't want known. "Oh, yes, she
can," said Mrs. Danboy, sweetly. I'D
like to know what it is" he growled.
Its her real and private opinion Of
her husband"
Does the baby talk yet?" asked
friend Of the family. No" replied the
baby's d.sgusted little brother, 1.-The
baby doesn't have to talk" Doesn't
have to talk?" NO; all the baby has
to do is to yell and it gets anything
there is in the house that's worth hav-
ing. New York Times.
Mrs. B!lkins (sweetly)-Do have an
other piece Of cake, Cousin John.
Cousin John-Why, really, I've already
had two; but it's so good l believe |
will have another. Little Johnnie Tex
citedly)-Ma's a winner! Mas win
ner! She said she'd bet you'd make
pig Of yourself!-Town and Country.
The efete East: Wabash-"How
long did IL take you to do that pic
turao' Eronch o rtictl ,,rnndIyl-"I am