The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-11

Oh. no.
WAS it a goatf''
mo"
"Nhas ii fox or wolf?
No
Come. now, please be a dear good
mans und tell me how it vhas
pledge you my word don't speak to
some living soul about her"
You may look in
She goes 0afer on tiptoe und looks
in und don't see nottings. She looks
mad at first, but den she laughs UNI
says:
"Vhell, dot vhas der best joke for u
year. If anybody takes you for fool
he gets left. From now on you shall
fix oop all der shoes in my family, und
l Will send you all der customers l
can. Ha, la, ha!'
/ laugh, too, but | don't know What
l laugh at. und in a leetle time a man
stands pefore my shop ind looks into
der window for ten minutes. lie can't
make dot barrel oudt. He shakes his
head und talks to himself, und by und
by ne comes III una says:
"CObbler. | guess you may put
cement patch on my toe for feefteen
cents. | vhas going to run for office
next spring mebbe, und it vhas good
thing to keep my shoes in repair"
Il begin to fix his shoe right AWAY,
und be speaks of der price of coal und
politics und den says:
"Cobbler, do you know l hat met
ten t'ousand liars on my time? Yes,
sir, l hat met ten tousand mans who
lie to me like Texas.
dot vhas bad" 1 says.
81 meet so many liars dot don't pc
lief nobody no more. If a man tells
me he runs Oafer a street car know he
vhas q liar, und like to bang him in
der eye. l see you hat barrel in your
window"
yes"
"Dere vhas a sign dot says she vhas
empty"
yes"
"Vhell, l vhas going to look in, but
know you vhas a liar
He looks in und finds nottings, und
he shakes his head und sits down to
think it oafer. After fife minutes he
holds oudt his hand to me, und dere
vhas some tears in his eyes ash he
says:
"Cobbler, hat found one man in dis
wide world who vhas not a liar. Dot
barre! vhas empty. In one hour
shall send my boy NIT all my shoes to
be fixed oop, und you can charge your
own price. Keep right on telling der
truth und you shall hat a funeral two
! miles long When you die"
Der next person to come in vhas a
womans. see her looking at dot bar
rel through the window, und she goes
home und gets a pair of shoes und
comes back to say:
You may fix desc oop if you will.
How much vhas potatoes a barrel?"
Il don't know" 1 says.
How much vhas apples?"
Il don't know"
''If you hat some alligator in dot bar
rel he don't get out sometimes"
HE Yhas no alligator"
Den he vhas some chickens"
"No; he vhas only nottings."
Dot womans winks at me und looks
in der barrel. When she sees dot
emptiness she keeps still for two min
utes und den laughs und says:
Il see how it vhas. Dere vhaS some
| false bottoms to der barrel, und der
poy gets oudt und hides down cellar if
| anybody looks in. Ha, ha, ha! l like
mans who can make jokes, und
shall gif you all my work to do. How
long vhas you in dis shOp?'
More ash fife years"
"Und vhas you a joker all der timer
"All der time, madam"
Dear me, und 1 don't know aboudt
him! How many good things l hat
| lost! Well, shall come in now every
week, und l like you to hat a new joke
every time"
In three days more ash feefty peo-
| pies comes in my shop und brings me
work und looks into dot barrel, und |
hat work ahead for two weeks. Some
times a man gets mad When he don't
! ste uOllluSS, UuI luOSI VI eli says IL
vhas a good joke und l hat brains.
Dot little tailor finally comes aroundt
to see if l vhas in der poorhouse yet,
und when tells him how she vhas be
goes oop by dot barrel und strikes her
NIT his fist und shouts:
Il tell you, Hans, you don't under
stand der American public. If you dc
you hat plenty of work"
But hat plenty of work now, und
eaferypody says dot barrel vhas a
joke"
1T makes no deeference. You vhas
some pumpkin heads, der public yhas
fools, und 1 Will go right home und
leave you to smell Of your old wax und
leather"
1 guess dot little tailor vhas no joker
und he vhas jealous of me.
NJ. QUAD.
Lovers Quarrel.
'rMary's young man has left already
and Mary's just gone up to her room
in tears" said Mary's mother Il won