Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-01-30

stairs and dress yourself for supper?-.
Aonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Gumney--Is Mrs. Cumso really
as philanthropic as she pretends?
Mrs. GargOyle-I should say So Why.
she even invites her poor relations TO her
ceptions.-Town Topics.
She-Oh. l would have given anything
to have had ii,
He-Well, why didn't you buy it?
She-The idea, They wanted half a
dollar for it.-Browning's Magazine.
Balty AIoore-So Miss Hazbeene looks
the part, does she?
Calvert, Jr.-I should say. She looks
as leftover as an unSOld Christmas tree
on January 3.-Baltimore American.
The Mother-Do you think il right, my
dear. to receive attention from all these
married men?
The Daughter-But. mamma. | like
them all equally well.-Town Topics.
He-A woman would rather talk than
listen.
She-Well. that depends.
He-Depends on what?
She--Whether or not a man is making
her a proposal.-pittsburg Dispatch
Niblick- Solomon was the wise man.
He knew all that there was TO know.
Foozle-Naturally; a man with his ex-
tensive assortment of wives must have
heard all that was going on.-Boston
Transcript,
First Chorus Girl-Mamie is laid up
with rheumatism of the heart
SppaU1 Girl ,,,Xf Si,o ,,.,,.
ried%
Yep She's afraid it will go 10 hcg
legs. Town Topics.
Winterbloom- Well. my children have
now all been through college-they can
play poker, smoke cigarettes, get into
debt and drink cocktails.
Won Rlumerr What G.e they girls or
boys Town Topics.
He-We must economic, Suppose,
darling, that you try your hand at max,
ing yeur own clothes.
She-0h, George, dear. l never could
do that. Suppose | begin by TRYING to
make yours New Yorker.
The Bride--We have CONNIE to be mar
red.
Modern Minister-Ah, yes. With or
The Bride-What?
The Minister-Obey.- Town Topics.
The Latest Fad.
AZ present the fad rs old pewter;
Mhiady thinks nothing is cewter
So If her" you'd delight
With a bauble That's right
Buy pewter; it's certain to sewtcr
Baltimore American.
Boarder-Why in creation did you ring
the breakfast bell at o'clock this morn
ing?
Cook missus heard it laundering
and told me to hurry up and serve break
fast before the milk soured.-New York
Weekly.
'Will you marry me?" he asked blunt
ly.
Ne" replied the Boston maiden, but
She added, coyly: Il am mot endowed
with sacerdotat power Put your cues
ton property. ASK me if / viii become
your wife. -Philadelphia Press.
Monsieur Crapaud-Ah. So zis ees
your leetle son! He look TO be smilaire
to you.
Popley-Yes. he's very much like me-
Monsieur Crapaud-Ah! blow do YOU
call eetf "A cheep of re Old 'blockhead. j"
NN' Ut NV AiA%aN' tlhSaA dNtSSs
They are telling a good enc on Young
fellow who recently was undergoing an
examination for the street ear service
DO You use whisky as u beverage?"
he was asked.
No" he answered. innooently: las an
intoXicant"'- San Francis,y Bulletin.
Have you ever done anything about
that anonymous letter you received?'''
No" answered the patient man 'If
the man had signed his name ! would
nave been obliged to quaradl with him.
and I'm much obliged TO him for sparing
me that necessity. Washington Star
'Of course" said the beasfing colonel.
There are some who might doubt my
EaIor ut 'Tettysburg:. because l did not
lose an arm or leg
'7tJh. don't let that w0rrT ran" smoke
up little Richard; Il heard papa say vou
lost your head. Philadelphia Ledger
A Fish Story.
tShF odd fisher named Fischer
Fishcd iish from the edge Of d@sgpe;
cod with grin.
l'Elad the fisherman in
Now they re FISHING the fissufe far Fischer
Cincinnati Tniane.
nun EdAm0led Mr.. SkInn3y. who
was beng intentionally crowded by the
jolly looking fat man in the trolley ca-.
these cars should charge BY weight -
Think soZ replied the far man.
Then they woHl'lH't think it WORT, while
Is stop for yoa Philadelphia Public
Ledger
Hank Henderson, tells me his son
Sphinx got expelled from college for get
. seaer 80, e. ,..s 4 n =.
paintin the gate green -'An't thar
strange ] mind the time Hank wanted
him 10 paint the front sfo0p. an couldn'r
harAly get him No in the middle o. Tho