Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-10-20

Il doubt IL you know the difference
between grandopera aud comic opera. /"
oh, but do, Grand opera is comic"
Puck.
What would you suggest as name
for my new yachtT why, It seems
to me the Floating Debt would be ap.
.proprlate"
Evelyn-Yes. my great-grandmotho
.eloped with my great.grandTath ther,
Ghoiiy--Just fancy! Old people like
that,-Smart Set,
Boy-Father, II there should be a
strike of the dog catchers In the Phil.
ipplnes, would the Igorrotes take to
eating beeff--Ex.
"Mr. Smith had a hard time to get
his daughters of his hands" Yes,
and hear he has TO keep their hus
bands on their feet"
Knlcker--Yes. Johnny. there is only
one way to learn, and that is to begin
at the bottom, Johnny-How about
swlmmingl-New York sun.
Firse Nurse--I won't he able 10 10
to the picnic tomorrow. Second Nurse
Why not2 First Nurse-To tell the
truth, I'm afraid to leave the baby
with Its mother.-Ex.
Continuous: Nell--Yes, he actually
had the impudence to kiss me- Belle
The ideal or course. you were In.
dignantT Nell--oh. yes. Every time.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Chauifeur-You'd better be little
careful, sir. My machine might make
your horse run. Farmer oatmeal--Do
telll Well, It'll be the first time in
thirty years.-Chlcago News.
II don't have to work for a living"
said the shlttless individual. "of
course you don't" reJoined the busy
man; III you did it's safe bet that
you wouldn't be lIvIng."-Chicago
News. s...
"I'm trying TO find the idea In your
poem" said the editor OF the Squint.
uary Magazine. "oh, don't worry
about that" said the anxious young
poet; there isn't any. You can use II
without the slightest fear."--Chicago
Record Herald.
do you think you can cure me. doc
tori" asked the society woman. IL
think so, with the help OF Providence"
replied the good physician. why not
NewportI The climate there is surely
the same as that of Providence. -
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Honeymoon Ito husband In rail.
way trainl-Do you love me? Old
Party (conhdentIally from other seat
to bridegroom)-She's asked you forty
seven times already. get ont here,
but I'll leave the score with this gen.
tleman by the window.
"Glad to meet you" said the polite
cannibal chief to the new missionary.
II shall expect to see more OF you to-
morrow. We dine at high noon" "Er--
thanks, awfully. | shall be delighted
-" Not at all. The pleasure Will
be all mine, assure you"
1t is human TO doubt Display a
sign with the inscription Beware of
Paint" and nine men out of ten will
draw their forehngers across the newly
painted surface to see II the sign is
not merely IAN invention OF the en-
emy." The ten.l man never learned
to read.
Dashaway-You say your sister will
be down in a minute, Willie2 That's
good news. / thought perhaps she
wanted to be excused. as she did the
other day. Willie-Not this time.
played a trick on her. Dashaway-
What did you do2 Willle--I said you
were another fellow!-London rt-Bits.
Wlseman-To look at that English
man you'd think he was a tramp.
wouldn't you? Jokeley-Well, | know
for a fact that he hasn't a place that
he can call home. Wiseman-Non-
sense! Why, his mansion In London
is Jokeley-Sumptuous, yes; but
he calls it "'ome. Catholic Standard
Times.
Helen and Mazda were at play when
Mazda was overheard saying: my
mamma does not allow me to use a bit
Of slang. She says it is coarse and
vulgar" That's just what my man.
ma says, "replied Helen. My! but I'd
get 1t right in the neck II she heard
me using slang like some little girls"
-Lippincott's.
Teacher Of Physiology-Now we will
dissect this odd little animal. But
first, Jimmy Phalig, will you tell me,
what we have here? Jimmy-Faith,
and It's called bat, sir. Teacher
Very we'll. Now, how many kinds of
bats are there? Jlmmy-There are
foiye. The black bat the red bat, the
acrobat, the baseball bat, and the
brickbat, sir.
A tourist in remote part of Ire
land, having stayed the night at
wayside inn not usually frequented by
visitors, informed the landlord in the
morning that his boots, which had
been placed outside his room door, had
not been touched. "Ah, shure," said
the landlord, "and you moight put
your watch and chain outside your
room door in this house, and they
wouldn't be touched. The King.
Army frnm the Paaf