Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-06-04


Ned-It took me long time to
make up NY mind if man who specu-
lated in stocks is fool. Ted--How
did YOU finally determine? Ned-I
Speculated. Town Topics.
sonny" said the good old man,
I'm surprised that you should tease
that eat In that way" Why replied
the bad boy, pausing in his inhuman
work. 'do you know any better way"
Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Slap What is the secret of Gil
dIboy's success Miss Bang Why. he
knew a girl who spends thousand a
year on dresses Mr.. Slap-Ah, | see;
he married her? Miss Bang oh, no;
he married her dressmaker.-Coa
Cuts
Young SWELL left letter on my
table when | went out. Where is il?
Valet hope you won't mind. sir /
thought 1t would do nicely for my
sweetheart; SO posted 1t TO her. Your
Christian name is the same MS mine
Tit Bits.
What's the matter. little hoyF' ask
edy old Mr. Goodart, what are you
crying for 'I9eo. hoo" sobbed the
boy, boo, hoo" Come, come, Don't
mind, Don't mind" boo. hoo
didn't, an that's what | was licked
fur. - Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Young Couple Cwho expect the visit
OF Il very misery relative, from whom
they have expectations, are clearing
the room of every sign of luxury
Wife tearneStlyl--We must do all we
can 80 make uncle feel at home. Hus-
band (cauStcallyl Then we had bet
ter let the fire out
Mamma. can God hear everything"
Everything, Willie" And is God al
ways happy" always, Willie. Why
10 YOU asl<f' We'll, ] should think
/ ii would make him suffer a little 10
/ hear what sister and TINT fellow of
/ hers are saying TO each other in the
next room, " Smart Set
/ Parker What's wrong? You seem
worried Strecter-l am. | wrote two
notes one to my broker asking him
If he took me for fool, and the other
10 Miss Goding asking her IL she
wou'd be mine While I was out some
body telephoned Yes" and / don't
know which Of 'em II was.
Precautionary measure: Mrs. New
cd In bride OF six weeksl-And how
long will you be away, dearest? Mr..
Newed About ten days. Mrs. Newed
Well ! think I'll learn to cook while
You are absent Mr.. Newed That's a
good idea And I'll take the dog over
and leave him with one of the neigh
bors Elk.
Nellie (sympatheticalyl- poor
dear. What Il narrow escape. Aud
what started the hOrseF Gertie dndg-
nantly) you knew, VIII was
just helping me out OF the trap. and
the stupid horse could not tell the diff
ference between good nigbt-kiss
ind signal TO start And he start
ed Some horses have 50 little
sense
\ girl forced 10y her parents into IA
Disagree match with an old man.
whom she detested, when the clergy
man came 10 that part of the service
where the bride Is asked II she con-
sents to lake the bridegroom for her
husband, said with great simplicity.
'Oh. dear. no. sir, but you are the first
person who has asked my opinion
about the matter
The laundress little daughter had
| been allowed 10 peep into the dining
room. where the table was set for
dinner party. And, mamma" she said
later every plate had two forks by
Ilt. what was that forT' You don't
/ know the Way Of your bctters, child"
replied the laundress: the extra fork
Is In case they drop one on the floor
Detroit Free Press.
French Maid to inquiring friendsl--
/ Oui. madame is III, but ~ doctor haf
pronounce it something very triflng,
/ very small Friend -Oh, ] am So re-
/ leved. for ! was real anxious. What
does the doctor say the trouble is
/ French Maid Let me recall. 1t WAS
something very leetle. Oh. Oui. | have
: ~ now. AINldftit DdN ~ SHldliIDA 49,
/ Woman's Home Companion.
/ Il was MabeFs first appearance Mt
church and she was rather iidgety.
First she wanted one thing then an
other Finally she decided she must
/ have n pin. 50 she asked for one from
/ her father. He had none. Then she
tried her mother; but her mother, too,
! had none. Mabel's longing had been
! Increased with her III success, so she
climbed upon the pew ana shouted mt
/ the top of her small voice, Has any
one In dis trowd dot LIppln-
colts.
Pussy Man fhurrying into news
paper office I've lost my spectaclcs
somewhere, and want to advertise for
them. but can't see to write without
them. YOU know" Advertising Clerk
. dlkely to be- business manager some
dayb"l will write that adj. for you, sir
Any marks on them Pussy Man