Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1904-05-12

Now doth the oriental rug prepare
to be hung upon the railing of the
front porch and the 30-cent Brussels
carpet make ready to be swung upon
the clothes line in the back yard. Now
doth the 5000 oil painting make ready
to be busted in the front yard, and the
tea chrome fix itself to be busted in
the cellar, for the time of houseclean-
ing has struck Madison and the day of
reckoning is at hand.
Consider now the woman who feel
eth strange riot of unrest surge
through her being, and wonderful not
what it may be. Verify she hath &C
quired the housekeeping bacillus,
which giveth her the complaint known
as upsettis, and she will not know
peace until she has torn the carpet
from the floor and BACKED the stove.
Is it not so?
My sol, keep track of events for the
space of three weeks. Behold, woman
shall turn her eyes from the adver-
tisements of bonnets that are in
France and have price marks that are
made here. And she shall cease to
think whether she shall shirr the back
breadths Of her skirt. And she shall
suddenly forget to wonder whether
hair is to be worn in pompadour.
For when she seeth hammer her
fingers shall twitch and when she
walketh upon rug she shall yearn to
swing it about her head and knock the
dust from it.
When she cometh upon a step-ladder
she shall cry: 20, let me play Santos
Dumont and get up in the air, that l
may yank the pictures from the wall
and the bric-a-brac from the mantels;
that ] may see the dust upon the mold
flgs and paste the loose corners of the
wall paper.
! Then she putteth away her organd.e
dress and her pattern for shirt waist,
and pondereth no longer on whether
the shirt waist shall be blouse or not,
but she girdeth up her skirts about her
and tieth a towel over her hair, and
lroameth through the house, seeking
what she may destroy.
And her husband, what is he doing
this time? Surely he is as the dust in
the carpet or the torn place in the wall
paper And he hath to be scarce. He
leaveth his home in the morning and
all is serene, and he cometh home in
the evening and standeth agape on the
sidewalk For the spare bedroom set
hath been thrown upon the sidewalk
and the piano is in the yard; the books
from the library are stacked in the al
ley and his smoking jacket hangeth up
on the fence.
And he goeth into the house and
seeketh his wife that he may ask of
her why this is thus. Yet he findeth
her not, for she is over to the neigh
bors asking whether it is better to use
concentrated lye or household am
monia to take an ink spot out of the
portieres; and the partieres she hath
turned upon the ash barrel until she
hath time to return to them.
So the man gceth aimlessly about
the house, stepping into water colors
with a great splash and falling over
gilt edged chairs in the dark hallway.
He stitch down in the hat box which
holdeth his wife's $50 Easter bonnet.
And he riseth. only to trip upon an Oft
toman and fall again with his face in
the dustpan.
Then doth his wrath begin to boil
and he saith strange words and uses
language that hath saw teeth therein.
He shaketh himself free from the pic
ture cords that have wrapped about
his neck, and he saith: Il will go up