davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
FREE DIsPENsARY.
SATIN TOILET sPECIALr1Es

SATIN TOILET SPECIALIIES.
--~-~-~-~-~~~-~~~~~---~-
A LARGE SOC size Jar of Satin Tooth
Powder now costs a quarter. Test its
virtues. AT RoWley & Shows.
A REFINED appearance, delicate shade
of fascinating beauty given by Satin
Skin Cream and Satin Face Powder.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
FURNACE WORKS.

JOHN SEYBOLD. tin roofing. Ruttarine
spout.ng, galvanized iron and furnac,
work ia Z. Sth st. Tel ISL.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

SPLENDID opportunity to earn money
See Kendall. Throop hotel, after IL to-
morrow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
BIoYcLEs ANp REPArR1NG.

TOPEKA AUTOMOBILE AND CYCLE
co. Tel FOG. Bicycles and sundrtes, BIZ
cycles and tandems for rent; repairing OF
al Alnas-
U 8. CYCLE CO., lis E. sth st. National
& 1Ver-Jonnson bicycles. Supplies. repairs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

GEO. Z. SEYROLD, furnace work. tin
roofing, gutterings spoutinE, furnaces
speciality so Kansas ave. Int phone 5I2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

Mrs. Kratchett-'' Bridget, I don't like
the looks of that man who called to see
you last night" Bridget-''WeH well,
amt that funny. ma am? He said the
same about u.'-PhiladeIphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
BUSINESS CHANCES.

BE WISE-Make your money earn 5 pei
cent a month. I will let you know how
YOU can do this in business for yourseli
right in your own city without risk u
for particulars. Address Lock Box 875
Omaha, Neb.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

WANTED chambermaid, 2 dining room
girls. Fifth Avenue hotel.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
RUG FACTORY.

DO NOT throw away that old carpet,
but send 1t to Mccormick & Peake, So
Van Buren, They viii make you the best
rug you ever saw and the cost is ridicu-
lousiy small. Write for price list or call
up phones 41. Mccormick & Peake.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
CARPET CLEANING.

S---@>SS-
BEND your carpets to 1IcCormicK g.
chinery We can give you better work.
more promptly than ever before, and at a
price that viii please you. Mccormick an
Pea kes rug factory and carpet cleaning
works. So Van Buren, St Phones AZ.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
WANTED-NrAT.E HEIP-

AdOLER'S barber college Of Dallas. Tex.
Denver. Col, or Salt Lake. Utah, offers
advantages in teaching the barber trade
that can not be had elsewhere. Write
nearest branch for terms.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

NAN under IS, fair education, to prepar,
for Govt position. Begin $500 salary. Flu
ture good. Box 1. Cedar Rapids, Ia.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

WAN IED-F'EWAIE HETIP
~-~---0--~~-~-~---------- ~~~~-~---------~-~~-~
WANTED-Dress makers and seWIr
girls. Mrs. Mercer, Crosby Bros.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
UNDERWRITERS.

SHELLABARGER & SON, funeral direc-
tors and licensed embalmers. ParIors
l2z W. 9Th st. Phone 373-
GEO b PALMER. undertaken. Estab-
ushed 1871 Prices reasonable. Tel offics
146- Residence 81. gu Jackson st.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

YOUNG men everywhere copy letters at
home evenings. $3.50 week. Send address,
ed envelope for particulars. Manager,
S 81, Box 1411, Philadelphia, Pa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

Ohice 725 Kansas ave. Residences Thir-
teenth and Clay. Office hours. a. m.
~ a. m. and p. m. to p. m. Both
phones is residence. and Ind 13I6 ofiice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

WANTED-White chambermaid. 2O1 z
Sth st.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27

WANTED-Men to learn barber trade:
few weeks required; steady practice and
careful instructions given; wages Satur-
days; splendid demand for graduates; last
week of special April offer Write at
once. Moler Barber college, St. Louis. No.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
LSTERNG

- - - AAOAAoA1AAAANG ~
W. J. VOSS. uphcistering, furniture
packed, shippeds mattresses. couchea. etc.
made over and to order. 600 Jackson mt.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
A Teachers Testimony.

Hinton, KY, Nov. 28-(Special.l-
1t has long been claimed that Diabetes
is incurable, but Mr.. E. J. Thompson,
teacher in the Hinton school, has
pleasing evidence to the contrary. Mr..
Thompson had Diabetes. He took
Dodd's Kidney Pills and is cured. In
statement he makes regarding his
cure Mr.. Thompson says:
Il was troubled with my kidneys for
more than two years and was treated
by two of the best doctors in this part
of the State. They claimed 1 had Dia-
betes and there was little to be done
for me. Then I started to use Dodd' S
Kidney Pills and what they did for me
was wonderful. 1t is entirely owing
to Dodd's Kidney Pills that l am now
enjoying good health"
Many doctors still maintain that Dia-
betes is incurable. But Diabetes is a
kidney disease and the kidney disease
that Dodd's Kidney Pills will not cure
has yet to be discovered.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
TIPS A WAITER RECEIVED.
They Include Jewelry, Books, Clothes
Besides Money!

Jacques of the Carlton hotel, known as
the best head waiter in Europe invit-
ed me up to his room at the top of the
house, where he unlocked a heavy steel
cabinet and displayed the finest collection
Of tips probably in the world.
This is just 10 show You that every
pourboir we walters receive is not III
hard cash." lie said.
There were jewelled pins, cuff links
and shirt studs, gold and silver ciffar
cigarette cases and match boxes: ivory
curlOs, a book or two and i lot OF auto
graphs
AT the time of the late Queens fu-
neral, and again at the time Of the
coronation of the King" said Jacques,
this hotel was packed with potentates'
and mobiles from ali over the earth. If
the total of tips given here in those days
had actually amounted to 10 per cent. Of
what those folks paid in restaurant bills
we would all be rich. AS a matter Of
fact, the tips scarcely average > per
cent. of the restaurant receipts at any
| time, yet many Of my walters make t2O
or more Il week, and some of them pos
sesS more available cash than some Of
the patrons whom they serve.
That beautiful scarf pin was given to
me by the Alake Of Abe-something-or-
ether only a few weeks ago. and these
studs We're given to me by the German
minister of the interior not ten days ago.
! Then here's a watch charm given 20 ME
years since by Prince Henry Of Prussia
| that cigarette case was handed to me by
| grand duke of Russia after | had
served a dinner for him of thirty covers.
| Here are the autographs of Lord Rose
| berry, Mr. Balfour and Mr.. Chamberlain.
An American gentleman offered me lit
| tie fortune just for the autographs, and
another American, Mr.. Carnegie, gave
me this book on How to Succeed
What do ! prize most? This" And
Jacques opened wardrobe and took out
dress coat. I'D like" he said, ''to
| give that coat back to the one who gave
! it to me. He was q young English lord.
He went broke in this hotel, and rather
| than so away without tipping ne he
| gave me this dress coat. He had no
money and had to leave his luggage to
cover his bill. He went to America and
| made Il name there"
jacques was now sharpening his pencil
with a little golden pocket knife. THAT
tip, 0too?" l asked.
Grown Prince of Sweden" he replied,
dropping the knife back in his pocket,
where there was jingle Of gold SOW
ereigns that represent the backbone OF
| the tipping system.-Tit-bitS.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
a Positive Enpa cement.

Mrs. Cummings was busy at her desk
when Ned, an ''old-time' darky who hat
been a servant in her family since 'befo
de wah" days, approached her, and with
| many apologies for the interruption
asked. Miss Sally, can | git off two
weeks from today? l has to go to town
Ma am"
1.-TWO weeks from today. Why, I thin,
| so, Ned. What are you going to do II
town." inquired Mrs G. kindly.
Il wants to go to a fun al, Miss Sally
frien of mines gwine to be buried
den," said Ned
You do not r.ean two weeks, then
Ned" returned Mrs. G.
| Vase, N, Miss Sally, it's two weeks
from today, hain't dat de twenty-fustT
| Yes, two weeks from today will be
the twenty-frst, but you must be mis-
taken, they could not keep the body ST
long except in vault"
| Mrs. G. was now thoroughly puzzled
by the old darky' request and wondered
what it could all mean. She knew none
vault, and how could they be making
arrangements for funeral two weeks
hence, with the prospective corpse still
olive? The thought made her shudder
Wei. m, dat de day." said Ned.
But how can you be SO sure? Sup
pose your friend is not dead by thai
| time?"
"Oh, vase, m, he sholy will be by dc
twenty-fust; dat's de day he's gwine II
| Ned. what do you mean? When did
he die?' asked Mrs. c.
ooh, he hain't daid yet, Miss Sally, bu1
he sholy will die, ease he's gwine to be
hung dat day, and dey'll be a fun'al al
right. Prudence Baxter in Lippincott's
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
Increased Demand for Small Coins.

That the demand for small change to
supply the retail trade is rapidly increas-
ing is shown by statement issued by
Supt. Lands Of the United States mint.
This demand is generally taken as a cri-
terion of the prosperous condition of the
United States and is considered one of
the most accurate gauges. The following
figures represent the smaller coinage at
the mint since President Roosevelt be-
came President: $5,54G,00O in half dol
lars, S7,SOO,0OO in quarter dollars, 3d.
100000 in dimes, $4,50O,000 in nickels,
and $2,60O,00O in cents. This makes a
total Of S26,000,000 Of subsidiary silver
and minor coins during the three years.
The nickel coinage during the three years
mentioned represents about one-ffth Of
the entire nickel coinage Of the country
and the cent coinage represents about
one-seventh Of the entire cent coinage
since the organization Of the federal gov
ernment.-Philadelphi Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
To Ladies Only.

The wish to be beautiful is predomi-
nant in every woman, and none can say
she does not care whether she is beau
tiful or not. DR.. r. t. Gnuraud's ORR
entail Cream, or Magical Beautifer elicits
clear, transparent complexion, free
from Tan, Freckles or Moth Patches, and
SO closely initiating nature as to defy
detection. 1t has the highest medical
testimony as well as professional celebri-
ties, and on it's own merits it has be-
come one Of the largest and a popular
speciality in the trade FEkD. T. HOP
kINS, Sole Proprietor, 81 Great Jones
street, New York. For sale by all Drug
gists and Fancy Goods Dealers through
out the United States, Canadas and Eu-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
THE COUNTRY GIRLS COSMETICS.
Nature Supplies Her Lavishly with Fresh
Materials


Materials
The girl living on farm has so many
materials at hand with which to make
acceptable gifts TO city friends, and not
the least of these are the ingredients for
harmless but helpful cosmetics. And, by
the way, did you know that word cos
metic was derived from q Greek term
signifying skilled in the art of decoration
or ornament? From the first, rhubarD
sprouts and lettuce leaves on through
spinach for coloring creams and lohons)
Strawberries, Cucumbers, watermelonS
and ounce, with honey and milk ana
nuts, the girl on the farm has the best
and purest materials to choose from ana
work with. An expensive Italian cream
is made from the ground green seeds
Of cucumberS, melons and pumpkins
made into flour which is slightly per-
fumed and made into paste with sweet
cream.
The basis of nearly all washes for
chapped hands is ounce seeds, so one
can make their own at slight expense by
adding extract of witch hazel to the
emulsion. With care the girl living on
a farm should have the proyerbial rose
leaf or peaches and cream complexion
until she is at least rs years of age. The
juice of cucumbers enters largely into
the preparation of many fancy creams
and watermelon juice is a famous south
ern face wash. Tomato juice is fine for
an oily, greasy skin and the acid Of
strawberries rivals that of lemons as a
bleaching agent. The basis of the most
satisfactory cream is clarified mutton tai
low, which, made creamy with almond
oil, sweet with your favorite perfume and
colored with the juices of lettuce, spin
ach, rose petals or currants will give
both beauty ana pleasure to the recipient.
Try out mutton suet in a double boiler
just as lard is rendered. and when it is
cold, use the top portion, melting it in a
bowl set IL hot water, strain through a
hair sieve. then through cheese cloth, and
heat in the almond oil or other ingredi
ents while still creamy The addition Of
one dram of tincture of benzoin or one
half a dram of salicylic acid will pre-
vent the emulsion from becoming rancid.
Pilgrim.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
A TOAST.

Let him who will drink to his love-
Or pledge a friend in wine;
rOusing toast I'll give TO thee,
q enemy of mine.
Pour forth the amber liquid; fill
Your glasses to the brim;
Here's to the man whose heart for me
Bears naught but hatred grim:
How oft when steep aScents l climb
Would ! cast down my load,
Did not his royal enmty
My tagging footsteps goad!
SO drink again. your bumpers raise
And gaily clink with me;
Here's to the man who hates me we'll
Down with Mine Enemy"
Blanche Goodman in Smart Set.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
But Won't Do for Steady Diet.

injury to swallow such sharp things as
pins, needles, tacks and bits OF glass ?
The secret, as disclosed by Dr. Albert
Exner OF Vienna lies in the fact that,
when pointed or sharp-edged body
comes into contact with the lining of the
stomach or intestine, the part touched
contracts and FUCKERS SO as to thicken it
self in that place. AT the same time it
withdraws itself in such a manner as to
form a little pocket, and gradually twists
the object around so as to turn the edge
or point away, pushing the thing along.~-
New York Tribune.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
AN APOSTPOPHE.

Moonshine Moonsnne skippin' all 'rcun'.
Moonshine, Moonshine, lightiu' up de groun',
Moonshine. Moonehine, pccrin' thIo' Dc
trees
Catchin little nggers kissIn' in de breeze.
MOonshnc MOonshine sneakin' thro de doh,
Moonshinc MoOnshine, sittin' on the foh.
Moonshine, Moonshine, kissed my yallcr
gal
Say, Mistah Moonshine cayn't l be yo pal:
Adam Breede in Everybody's Magazine.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
U nlucky Thirteen.

A gentleman who had been dining at q
restaurant, and who often ordered !
dozen oysters, counted them one day, and
found but eleven
Still another day he counted them
with the same result. Then he said to
the waiter:
"Why do you only give me eleven oys-
ters when | order dozen?'
ooh, sir" answered the waiter, Il
didn't think you wanted to be sttin
thirteen at table. Spare Moments
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
Queer Time Recorder.

In Malay the natives keep a record Of
time in the following way: Floating in
a bucket filled with water they place a
cocoanut shell having small perfora-
ton through which by slow degrees the
water finds its way inside. This opening
is so proportioned that it takes just one
hour for the shell to fill and sink. Then
a Waterman calls out, the shell is emp
tied and the process is begun again.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

DR.. David Kennedy's Favorite Remed ;
the Great Kidney and Liver Cure. World Fa
nous. Write DR.. Kennedy's Sons, Rondout, \
Y, for free sample bottle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

l cannot praise Piso's Cure enough for
the wonders it has worked in curing me.
r. Fl. Seidel, .2206 Olive street, st.
Louis. Mo-, April 10, 1901.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP TO
Children teething; softens the gums reduces IN
fammation, allays pain, cures wind collie. p
cents a bottle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Jews whose language is Spanish
abound in the east. Constantinople has
$1,000, Salonica $4,000, Smyrna, 22,0O0
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

There is no generally accepted ex
PLANTATION of the origin Of the term Hoo
sier" as applied to the people of Indiana
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

By September the widows and or
phans' fund raised by the japanese col
ony in London had reached 100000
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

The city of Sheffield charges 5000
for cremating in the city crematory the
bodies Of residents and $21 for the bodies
of non-residents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Miller-I say, old chap, does your wife
still call you by the sweet names she
used to?
Farmer-Oh, yes-that is to say, with
some slight variations instead of
honey for example, she now uses the
kindred term "old beeswax. Boston
TRANSCRIPT
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
) FACTS AND FANCIES.

He was taken and now there is much
rejoicing over the family reunion.-Phila-
delphia Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

"a musician out of work, are you?'
said the house keeper; well. you'll find
few cords in the woodshed. Suppose
you favor me with an obligato"
Pardon the pronunciation, madam
replied the bright tramp, but Chopin is
not popular with me. "-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Uncle John-So you don't like your
teacher, Tommy?
Tommy (savagely)-No. ] don't 1
Wisht he was at the bottom Of the sea.
Uncle John-O. come now, Tommy
That's too much to say.
Tommy-Well, l visit he was at the
bottom of Jones mill pond, then.-Phila-
Gelphia Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

lot have happened in Paris, where po-
lice frequently visit the places where
liquors are Sold
Il suppose you think the New York
police shun such Places = Houston
(TeX) Post
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

uddy-Everybo is astonished that
SO exemplary Il man as Rodgers should
turn out All embezzler.
Duddy-Everybody but me. I'm not a
bit astonished. | happened to know Of
his going home in a drenchinS shower
when he might have hooked an umbrella
without the least danger of being found
out. From that moment | suspected
Rodgers was q man who was not to be
trusted.-BOston Transcript.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally. and acts
directly Oh the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. Send for testimonials, free.
+. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. o.
Sold by Druggists 75c
HalPe Family Pills are the best.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

"Of course, yor always take a bottle
with you on Il fish ng trip said the
northern visitor.
"A bottle, subj denarded the Ken
tuckian. what fob, sun -
oh, come now! You doH't mean to
say you'd go fishing without whisky
We take jug. sub. ''-Philadeiphia
Ledger.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Mother-Haye you informed Mr.. Hig-
gins of my decision that the gas in the
parlor must be turned out promptly at
10 O'Clock.
Pretty Daughter-Oh, yes!
Mother-How did he receive the infor-
nation?
Pretty Daughter-Oh, he thanked me,
and said he'd be here at exactly three
minutes to 10 ereafter.-Harper Be
Ear.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

FRANK J. CHENEY makes oath that he is the
senior partner of the firm of f. J. CHENEY &.
Co, doing business in the City Of Toledo County
and State aforesaid, and that said firm will pay
the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each
and every case of Catarrh that cannot be cured
by the use of HALLS CATARRH CURE
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed il my pres
ence, this 9Th day of December, A. d. 1886.
spnI A. w. GLEASON
/ Notary Public.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

First Scot-What kim O. man is Nc
PhersOn?
Second Scot-A gey queer kim O. man.
L went to his hose and he askit me to
tax some whusky. When he began to
poor it cot [ said, stop! Stop!' And he
stoppit! That's the kin O. man he is
The Taller
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Butler-Here are the olives, Tam.
Mrs. Lakeside-Yes, John. but you
haven't put any toothpicks on the table
to eat them with.-Town Topics.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

She-IIas your friend long been bald ?
He looks so yOung
He pathetically)-He was born so.
She much moyed)-The poor thing
London Tit Bits
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

A millionaire ia like to be.
Alas! IT'S scarcely fair.
Tie others get the millions
And | only get the air.
-Yllp Rpporl
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Eyes, sir, he was the LATEST man on
record What do you reckon he did when
his house was on fire."
Dunno"
warmed his hands at the blaze. and
thanked God he didn't have to split the
wood for itv'-Atlanta Constitution.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Brethren says a Georgia philos-
opher take this comfort to your heart:
Even when you strike the deep waters,
you'll never drown so long as you can
kick, an holler fer rope"-Atlanta Con-
StitutiOu
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

at is said that the New York tragedy
where men died from drinking wood alec
hol and burned sugar for whisky could
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Tommy Figgjam-Paw?
Paw Figgjam-Yes, my son.
''Do they kick on the street railway
service everywhere? 2"
NO, my son; only where they have
street cars"
"Oh"'-Baltimore American.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

The Father-A rolling stone gathers no
moss, my son.
The Boy know it, pop: but it does
strike some rocks now and then
Yonkers Statesman.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

A youth went back home to Eau Claire
His love to Il girl to declare,
But a thought about pop
Made his heart take q flop,
SO he muttered: 'Oh, no: l don't daire''
Pennsylvania Punch Bowl
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

Talk about your clever chauffeursr
remarked the Brooklyn man. You
should see Peckham"
why, he hasn't any automobile. has
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
After Dinner.

We dine on predigested food;
Then come the talking stars.
Wen listen soon TO pretold jokes
And puff presmoked cigars.
Judge
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30

She-And what did she say when you
attempted to kiss her?
He-She said she thought l was a gen
tleman.
''Well?"
oh, after [ got through kissing heI
she didn't think anything about it; she
knew it.-Yonllers Statesman
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-11-30
Patience-What use are finger bowls,

Aunt Hannah-Have you told any one
OF your engagement TO Mr.. Sweetser?
Edith-No. | haven't told soul-eX-
cept Bessie Miller who thought he was
going to ask her.-Boston Transcript.