New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-07-19
A NEW OPENING.

Thousands
'bufing' with thought that they are using
metaphor from poker"
A NEW OPENING.
Chron.cle"i
s:Pse woman p1ast mans ans rgRs deny
Good counsel She is preferred bv
Our poet and philosopher.
or fitness there would 10 10 breach.
For indeed were blessed II
As countless husbands testify.
Then though for years doubts that she could
Delight swear. all married men,
Ia choke to see folk pointing at
Though Mabel might be hard on mel
Her mother in a bishops hat
HIS apron and his-pardon me!
With nice girl curates profess
My zeal for church would never end.
And happy Strenhon would address
His Chloe as The Reverend
Then though It would be clear to mo
She never would escape a sea
Invested with the Papacy.
And last. TN when for whales we fish
We use but currant jelly bait.
To meet the universal wish.
LONDON Chronicle.
As an English tourist was passing Mark Twain's
home. Florence. last winter. one OF the humor
ISIS dogs rushed out OF the gate ana parked
savage'y at the stranger. according TO The Spring
field Republican" Mr. Clemens called the animal
back. and about 10 apologize for the canine
guardians strenuositv whom the Brtisher growled:
IF / should kick that brute don't you know. per-
haps he'll stop barking at passers-by.' Well
maybe he WILL drawled Mr. Clemens. He never
attempts to bark when he has his mouth fun OF
meat"
Maude-And she didn't get divorce after finding
a long blond hair on her husbands coat sleeve?
81 81 me ha "a
breadth of getting one-(Town Topics.
General de Galliret ex-AIinister Of War OF
France. is noted for his ways. Some OF his
political opponents assert that the curtness is
sumed and that it be put side when the
occasion arises However that may be, the gen
erals periodical letters to Paris paper or an
other always add to the gayety Of nations few
days ago several reporters called at his house to
obtain his orinion on various matters relative to
the Dreyfus revision. and to the question. Can
the general?'' obsequious concierge replied
by presenting the following ITO every inquisf-
tive reporter. Sir-We living in the midst OF
rascas of every kind. The Press is their i'm
presarIo. The fool of public stands the damage
Full stop; that's al.-General Gallifret.-Left with
my concierge"
THE SONG OF THE SANDWICH.
When first they built the sandwich
They used 4 piece OF meat
So large and appetizing that
1t was a Joy to eat.
But as the hungry masses
brought profits large TO view
With thrifty resolution
They that piece in two
Then way out In Chicago
The price began TO soar.
They took that little layer and
Bisected II once more.
And still they keep It shrinking
Till now there Is no hope.
To know that il Is really there
You need a microscope.
-Cwashington Star.
At an auction sale In Scottish village the auc-
tioneer trying to sell number of domestic
utensils including a porridge pot. As usual, he
was making a great fuss. Finishing his keen eve
caught a well known worthy. the beadle, standing
at the back of the crowd. and he shouted out:
MASTER McTavish. make offer for this pot!
Why. IT would make splendid kirk bell!'' Aye
replied the beadle. If your tongue was In itr'
Pretty Dry.-Young Beginner thshins with dry
ny)-Am keeping my fly properly dry, Duncan?
Scotch keeper-Oh. I'm thenkin' she'll be dry
by where We started fushin.-(Punch ''''
Here Is a matrimonial advertisements from ."rhs
Lahore Tribune: 'Wanted-A suitable match for
a high family two and half Char Mehra Khatr,
girl. aged between eleven and twelve years edu-
Gated up to the fifth class. and well I'D IN Hndi
and accounts very docile and respectful I'm de-
msanor. Communications with particulars OF edu
cational and social qualifications of the prono.sd
match should be addressed" etc
done nothing lately but down her neigbhor.
Hell had no idea she such a gossip
She-Who said anything about gossip? She IA
learning TO drive her new motor car.-(Town TOPICS