West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-03-31
fS%SS@SS%2>2'%s$2>&>>1s1SeSs 1SeSses2>12sS'
! Mrs. RASHER'S
|CURTAIN lectures
The Old Lady Goes Driving With lie
Fashionable Friends.
She Calls Rssher Down for His Jokes
and Gets More Extrayagant Every
Day.
NUMBER EIGHT.
Sahe Lardnm.


y Dftf a~tfeHNt 4
~ Ns~Nas-Ns.astt.s.,sAssNA
Dad I.enJoy my ride this afternoon7 oh
Immensely It's so fortunate you weren't
along. Rasher, for l hadn't much more'n
driven around for Fiti aud her friend. be.
fore We saw Grimace sauntering along the
avenue, as II he didn't know what 10 do
with himself and so we picked him up and
took him along, and he vas so delighted
with the chance. It would have been pity
not to have given Il 10 him. tie isn't able
to keep even single horse to ride out on.
though he hires one from Disbon occa.
sionally, and il was real treat TO him TO
show himself OF in such an Gle CANT establish.
ment as ours. or course. as you own an
establishment you can so wherever you
please. and il wouldn't have been such a
treat TO you. You don, see as you canp
Well Fho prevents1 I'm sure you can have
the carriage whenever I'm not using IT,
Don't you ride down TO your place Of busi.
ness In il every once in awhileS Ii was such
an Iniun summer kind OF day. everybody
was taking advantage Of II don't suppose
we shall have another such a day this
season. The next time 20 to the Central
Park presume ! shall go upon skates
after get there. mean. You'd advise NE
not to try skates atmy time Of lifep And
why not I'D like TO know You are afraid
OF the consequences OF a tall to a woman
weighing nearly two huudrodY Pshaw
don't weigh an ouncetovsr hundred and
seventy Eve, and II 60 upon parlor skates
therell be no danger OF my falling. Fitz
sa
What kind OF figure do you think I'd
cut 9--the figure OF pig on the lce1 This
isn't the FIRST time. Rashef. you've compared
your wife to those vile animals in which
you deal A man with one particle OF
refined feeling in his breast would never be
guilty Of so indeIcate an allusion. lis well
I'm as large as am, and able TO take my
own part, Tor man who can say such things
wouldn't hesitate to whip his wife IL he
was big enough. But you amt, my love
and you know il. You're under my thumb
pretty well. and il you don't behave your
self III allow you less privileges than you
have now. You shani come into the room
at all when I've company. and you'll have
TO so up story higher TO sleep; it's
ridiculous TO think ofyou sleeping under
silk counterpane What's that I've got
sty coming on my eye haven't either-I
never had one in my life. My eyes are red.
riding in the wind to-day. The Inext thing
in order you'll be accusing me Of having
four feet, and being a biped and done with
it.
don know when I've enjoyed myself so
we'll as did to-day. My hat was as hand.
II IL I
did went out this morning and got the
velvet was speaking Of our carriage is
very well calculated TO show off our dress.
| Next year mean TO have one made so that
people can see to the best advantage all
have on, down 10 my CATERS. with fender
round II to keep off the mud 1t will be so
| pleasant TO ride around, like queen on a
throne. without mussing up your skirts any.
and very beneficial to the health. NV
health is not so good as Il might be I have
pain in my stomach after eating turtle
soup or ducks with dressing probably
next summer. shall have to ride great
deal for my health. intend TO take our
establishment to Newport. And. oh. dear
me. Rasher, don't you think you'll be able
70 afford set OF gold mounted harness by
that time' saw set to.dsy--ii was
splendid and felt so provoked at our
plain silver mounungs think IL is almost
the height OF bliss to.rccline in luxurious
| carriage, with your best things on and
drive slowly around the Drive nodding to
your friends as Ycu pass en- aud scrutinik.
| ing them al your ease I never expected to
arrive Al such an earthly Paradise when
married you. Rasher You We worked hard
enough TO bring It about and think ought
70 show little gratitude. instead Of trying
20 crush you out Of existence. as if wcrcf
have never tried to crash you out OF ex
istonce. my dear. lfyou'd d do az I've asked
you 10 SO often should bring You forward
all could All want is for You 10 wear
kid gloves. ana not put your hands In your
pockets nor talk about your business. nor
slap folks on the shoulder when you're
talking 20 en-. and mot talk 50 much In
company. and leave of them horrid
lowered vests. and learn a few French
phrases and keep quiet and dress In
black. Now. what are you smiling about7
You we're thinking ifyou should do all
that, I'd be guilty Of Digamy7 How so2
Because you wouldn'i be The man married
any more
You aren'i putting your nat on 10 90 any.
where. are your Going to your clubl
Rasher have you joined a clubf Dldn't
YOU always promise me you swould never
DO il as long as you had = vile and child
REM You might as we'll have none frsvery
bad and unreasonable Tor you TO aing out
IN that way because occasionally 30 out
evenings when yoa stay to home Of your
own choice. % will be very uncomfortable
\ coming back from parties and places and
finding you not back from your club yet
and having 20 be disturbed by your coming
/ in after I've retired and fhafs the way it
/ viii be i you belong 20 ono Of those Borfid
ihings. You'll gerto card playing and tell.
/ ing your neverendine stories 600 after mid
night pity the club that you'll belong
/ TO Obliged 10 listen 10 your stale jokes
and tedious anecdotes and perhaps having
you play practical jokes al their expense
and Is % cost enough 10 get me them
diamonds There : guess that's them
now and II you don take them and pay
Tor them, ! shall be 80 mortified shall
never want 10 20 10 that store again "A
contamination most dcvoutly 10 be wished