Evening journal., 1904-11-29
THE HUMOR OF JAPAN
JOKES THAT AMUsE THE NATIVES
OF DAl NIPPON.

In a review of a collection of funny
stories called "Kokkei Hyaku Showa"
by Mr.. Kubo Tendzui the Japan
Weekly Mail quotes the following as
being peculiarly characteristic of Japa-
nese humor:
A certain government official who in
olden times used to be called a "daik-
wan" but now Is known as n gun
chO" (head Of a district, having been
recently appointed to n certain district,
was engaged in a tour of inspection
when his notice was attracted by the
approach of an old man who was too
tipsy to walk straight.
Wondering who the intoxicated man
could be- the district officer accosted
him and after much difficulty ascer-
tanned that he was the head Of the
village which he had come to inspect.
Thinking it to be his duty to make use
Of the occasion for obtaining reliable
information, the district officer asked
the topper how many houses and how
many people there were in the village.
There are 100 houses and, males and
females included, 60 persons in the
village" replied the man. Puzzled, the
officer asked, How can that be?"
''There is nothing wrong about that"
replied the head Of the village. BE
sides these sixty there are any amount
of people in the village, but since they
are creatures who know not what it is
to drink they are not, take it, worthy
Of being mentioned"
Once upon a time it happened that
five or six burglars, armed with
swords and shouting like men attack
ing an enemy on the battlefield, came
bouncing into the house Of a certain
doctor. The whole household, with the
exception of the master, were para
lyzed. They felt as though iron chains
had been placed around them, and not
one Of them moved hand or foot They
watched in terror to see what would
happen, when, 10 and behold, the rob-
bers took their departure without
stealing a thing. Though they could
not tell what was the meaning of this
strange proceeding, certain it was that
the family was safe. But where was
the head of the house? After search
ing through the rooms they found him
in his dispensary. There he stood in
the midst Of the drugs, medicine spoon
in hand, looking fierce and triumphant.
what are you doing hereT inquired
one of the members of his household.
Smiling, he replied: "Those robbers
were perhaps as noted as Kumasaka
Chohan, but they may thank their
stars that they have got off with their
lives! Had they pushed matters a lit
tie further and entered this dispensary
not one of them would have left it
alive" Amused by this remark, one Of
the members Of the family rejoined
without a sword or a pistol how
could you have killed these robbers?
Can you kill robbers with a spoonY
WhereupOn the doctor, with fine self
assurance, replied: How many thou
sands of lives have 1 taken by means
Of this spoon! What to me are the
lives Of five or six robbers? Lucky
chaps to get Off as they didr
The son of an extremely illiterate
peasant was in the habit of bringing
his copies home day after day, his
hands and face covered with the ink
that should have gone on his copy.
Thinking it well to exercise his pater-
nal authority over the lad even in re-
gard to his school lessons, the father
one day commanded the boy to show
him his writing. Looking it over with
the air Of an expert penman, he criti-
cised various strokes: This stroke is
too long; this one too short. These two
strokes are too far apart" observed
the father.
But" said the boy, "the writing
master tells us to write them as I have
done" "Show me the copy" jerked
out the father. The boy produced the
copy, which his father began to ex-
anime closely upside down. why,
you are holding it upside DOWN. ex-
claimed the lad. Not to be beaten, the
father replied: Don't be so conceitedl
am holding. it for you to look at, Of
course. You could not read it were
1t turned the other way. Listen to
what is said to you and don't fancy
you know everything"
The above reminds us Of a story that
concerns Taira Kiyomori. 1t is re-
lated that in the time Of the Heiji re-
bellion the rebels ttacked KiyomOris
camp very sudd one day. Losing
his presence of ID, KiyOmori put
on his armor in great hurry, the back
part front. Some persons near pointed
out the mistake he had made. "You
have put your armOr on the wrong
way" they exclaimed. 1T is not so, "
calmly answered Kiyomori. "As the
emperor is coming behind l have put
on the armor so as to have the front
part facing him. 1t would be impolito
to have the back part Of ones armor
facing an emperor" Without altering
It he went out to battle.
The term ''yabu" is applied to doc
tors who prescribe wrong medicines
Now, It happened once that qrack
having been the means of killing the
only son of a certain house, the par
ents determined to have their revenge
on him. SO they sued him at court
of law. The affair was eventually
patched up by the worthy quack giving
the bereaved parents his own son IN
/ return for the one he had killed. MOI
long after this event the said quacR
heard a loud knocking at his door one
night On going to the door he was
informed that one of his neighbors
wives was dangerously i'll and that
his presence was required at once