The state herald., 1904-10-21
TRIBULATI0NS Of A GREAT
GRANDFATHER.

The OctoEcuariHn An0lyzes the Letter
of His Associate on the Democratic
Ticket-He Takcs Issue with Young
Alton Upon Nearly Every Point, but
Finally succumbs to Drowsiness
and IL Put to Bed.
Elkins, Sept. %.
Dear Sonny:
don't know what's the matter with
me. can't seem to recollect anything
that has happened since l made my pro-
lection speech in the Senate in 1888.
That was the greatest effort of my-or
my tenographer's-life.
When | went upstairs last night i
forgot what l had gone for and had
to call my boy, Steve Elkins, up to tell
me. Quicker'n shootin' he pointed to
the bed and began helpin' me of with
my Congress CATERS. That's jest like
a Republican, thinkin' of what we ought
to think of first and doin' what we amt
got git-up-and-git enough to do for our
selves.
And now few words about your let
ter of acceptance. Don't git hot under
the collar If an old man of so takes
the privilege of spenkin' his mind.
You begin by talkin' about ccntralizn-
tion. Where have you been living the
last forty years? Don't you know that
the principle that the Union is bigger
than any of its parts was settled by the
war. when l laid the foundations of
my fortune selliu' horses to the Federal
army?
Don't fash yourself about some youth
full Napoleon usurpin' any dangerous au-
thority over the S0,OO0,UO0 American
sovereigns. They all know their rights
as well as Dave Hill, and KNOWN, dare
maintain them, without the consent of
my other nation, as your friend of 9G
and 1900, Billy Bryan, would say.
What's this thing ''imperialism" you
talk SO much about? In my opinion it's
all tommyrot. There's no more impe-
rialism In the United States than in
the knothole stuffed with the clay of
imperial Caesar.
You make me weary when yon talk
about the President of the United States
developing such tremendous power from
year to year until IL almost equals that
of many monarchs." What sort of small
potatoes do you take the President of
this republic for? You may think he
of Greece or the Akoond of Swat. but
at my age I'm not runnn' for the remote
chance Of succecdin' to an office no big
ger than some hop o my thumb might
get by accident
Don't yon know that If we follow "the
footsteps of our fathers we must march
toward the past? Following the foot
steps of ancestors can only lead to the
cradle or the tomb. And though they
say that am in my second childhood
md have one foot in the grave, | prefer
standin' in the footsteps Of the livn' to
followin' the footsteps Of the dead.
Act-nct In the living present,
Heart within, and God o'erhcadl
has always been the motto OF your as
pirin' Uncle Gassaway.
Talk Of lust of power. What are we
in this race forf ! never lusted for any
thing as | lust after the presidency
of the Senate. with revcrsionary inter
est in the Presidency of the United
States
Your ideas on the tariff are ns hazy ms
the vision Of a siN-day-od steer. Here's
what said in 1883, aud it's good doe
trine yet.
! am for a tarir that will yield sufficient
p-nditurcs Of the government. and In that
tarin believe Incidental protection to our
Industries Is Right aud proper.
IL tariff for protection Is robbery,
TO the peni,entiary with the whole outfit
We can't cozen the people by denouncin'
the crime while supportin' the govern
ment on the swag.
See you have luggcd in the old chest
nut about protection building up the
business md property Of the few at the
expense Of the many" Don't you know
that property and wealth IN the United
States was never as widely distributed
as to-day; that Ia all Industries NOR.
than 90 per cent of the gross income
goes TO the wnge--arncrs, aud that tn.
wnge-earners are our only true imperial
ists7
notice with qualification that you
sidestep in regard to trusts.
was deeply affected by your reference
'to our mnrtyrci President, William
Mckinley" Let me recommend his care.
fully thousht-out policies 10 your study
and adoption. Otherwise this nppreci.
! alton Of the dead leader will rebound Ia
| the honor and glory of his young sue.
cessor In the White House, who has not
swcrved a hairs breadth from the chart
laid down for him by William McI<in,
ley.
What do you mean by celebrating
| tyranny" In the Philippincsi Who's
! plnyln' Andy jackson over thcref
DO you know the record Of our Dem,
ocratlc Congressman on the subject of
civil Hcryice-how they have persistent.
ly voted to withhold the appropriations
necessary TO the administration 0f the
stRtutei Alton. II we can't be elected
let MS be honest.
You talk about 'the Executive acluir.
Ing the Panama route aud rights" Don't
you know that these were acquired by
the government. aud not by the exccu'
/ iivei The Senate ratified the treaty aud
Congress appropriated the money 10
clinch the opportunity TO do what you
sny has long been the hope Of our
statesmen, to.wlt, dig the chnHlr' II you
are In earnest about the right to dig hay'
In been wronnfully obtained. why dom,
you urge its renuncintinnt There are
,,ill foyoluiionlsts on the isthmu- who
would welcome return 10 the good old
days Of 'Rr,olutions on tho half shell
while you wait"
Don't you know TINT american bot,
toms carry such contemptibly small
fraction Of our exports aud imports, %
because foreign bottoms carry them NJ
such con,rmptibly cheap rates that our
people eau better AFFORD To pay the rate
thnn withdraw their funds from better
| in,sstmrntsi II you favor ship subai,
| disa what tla Nou fn,au by aaNlu' wan