New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-04-23
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Representative Burgess tells story OF old
colored retainer named Jim" who had never been
on speaking terms with the truth according to
Tho Buffalo Commercial" one day his mistress
lost her temper. and summoning the old man. she
rated him soundly Jim" she said you have been
on this place since before can remember, and
ever since I remember you've been the most I'M
initiated liar have ever known To my own
knowledge. you've been promising these forty years
past that you'd learn 10 tell the truth. but you
never learn. Now. 1 want TO know once for ALL will
VIII you not In one single instance. tell me the
truth2'
Deed Miss Lizzie" Jim answered. his head
hung in shame. IN try; but you mus member
1 bon in dis family. and 'spect Use 'herited
some or de family traits"
ON To- SAINT LoOEY-oR SAINT LooIs
Swiftly the wonders gathering where
The proud city stands by the Father OF Waters'
With our wives and our wondering sons and fair
Tho tomfom ere long will be heard on The Pike
They are getting things fixed TO send thrills cours-
Soon the glad people may pack up and strike
The trail for Saint Looey-or is It Saint Loosf
The wonders coming from distant Japan,
- Inc suitans are seulns . So g1ra iH,
WIN parade down The Pike with big. bare-fOOted
zuleima. Fatima and Selma Will peer
From behind their frah lattices as we pass
VIII g from Gar and f5 t.GP near
The ladies' win squeol and clutch madly At Spec s
Ten thousand wild sounds will he filling the place.
We shall wondrous things Of mans clever
But the most superb thing 10 be done by the Fair.
Which is splendidly planned to impart knowl-
VIII result if mankind may at last find out there
II the town IS Saint Locey or merely Saint LooiS.
is. f. Niser. In The Chicago Record-Herald
Tho French have n certain reputation for po-
likeness 10 womanknd. but they would be put TO
It to Guido the poteness OF the scare headline Of
a London evening paper, which reads thus:
Charge Against Lady Convict" Could polite
ness further go? So far the line has been drawn
at the Lady Guardian. the Lady Journalist and
the Lady Clerk.
UTnpardonabIe-.'In what family you last
employed?' asked Mrs. Fields-James; ~,
I'm the family Of Mrs. Boscommon." replied the
applicant for a position as goyerness.
May ] ask why you left her.
ton rendered my position uncomfortable She was
unaware Of the distinction between an anachrontsm
and anomaly."-(Chcago Tribune.
After n visit TO tho ZOO" a small child returned
homo in n notceably disappointed frame Of mind.
according TO THE London Globe" and the fond
mother questioned her to what sights she had
seen. Tigers. bears and elephants" said the little
child but I couldn't find the zeal anywhere"
"Zeal?-you mean seal" NO. mummie. zeal-the
animal you read TO me about Sunday" And
she repeated soemny and with half closed eyes.
THE zeal Of Thy house hath eaten me up"
RECIPE FOR POEMS.
Find first thy metre. If the task he hard
Consult thy Keats and Shelley-in them IS
cTwas "Adonais'' used in writing thisD
Then If ny Thythmic ieelGg run amss
Those beats from out its cranial abyss
All cholIed with wheels. to where thine own works
Then sit thee calmly down before thy typewriter
Seek next thy subject. Let the matter be
Not as STRANGE 6n! some nrn od OLD ftsnf
Then for thy rhymlng dictionary send,
For oft its echoing columns hap to lend
A few poetic thoughts to him who CLEANS.
r ana Ike Kee nm n 80 uu t 1ao ETr{ III 81 means
Thus do poets write their verse for magazines.
-(Burges Johnson. IN Harpers Magazine
Another step in the direction of technical educa-
ton has been made in the city Of Dresden in the
establishment OF school for locomotive driver ap-
prentices The initiative taken by the Loco
motive Drivers Association Of SaxOny which
ceeded in interesting the members OF the Dresden
City Council in the scheme well as the directors
OF the technical school and the administration OF
the Royal State Railroads. The school is for ap-
prentices between twenty-five and thirty years OF
age who employed in the Dresden shops
Among the subjects taught are German. arithmetic
graphics and the mechanism of locomotives.
Overheard on the Pier.-"Is this ALP. demanded
the custom house inspector as he finished UP
We'll no. said Binks at got new wife over
in Pars.that little woman over there with the
pink cheeks is She"
"Au right" said the inspector. Wen have her
appraised. She looks like a work OF art"-Qife.
The Worlds Sunday School Convention now In
session under the walls of Jerusalem is the fourth
since they instituted with something like a
thousand children assembled. mostly from England
and the United States. The intention Is to repeat
them annually type OF crusade 10 the
Holy Sepulchre not so noisy and spectacular as
the slambang ones OF old times but. from some
points OF view, quite as interesting
Here is schooboy's composition:
winter is the coolest season of the year, be-
It comes mostly In the winter. In some
countries winter comes in the summer then IL isn't
/ wish winter came in summer I'm Chi
cago, then could so skating barefooted and
make snowballs without getting our fingers froze
When 1t SHOWS In summer they call Ii rain