Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-03-04

Cope hear your boss expects to
raise your salary this month? Hope
Sc he says. But he hasn't succeeded
in raising all Of last months yet
I Philadelphia Ledger.
Accounted For: How did you get
your black eye. Sambo?' well. boss,
yer see l was out a-lookin' fer trouble,
and dis ere eye was de fust t find It,"
-Yonkers Statesman
rs your daughter happily married,
Mrs. AshleighY "Oh. yes! She and
her husband are both devoted to their
clubs, and often don't see each other
| for two weeks at a time"
What makes you think she has a
saving sense Of humorY' Because
she laughed so heartily when she de-
scribed the way you proposed to her
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
First Author--How many copies Of
your book have been sold? Second
Author don't know. l haven't seen
anything about the sales except the
publishers vit-Life.
her mother if | kissed her" what
did she say?' "She said her mother
was fully capable of doing her own
screaming. Houston Post.
Then you have no sympathy for the
deserving poor" said the charity.
worker "Me?" retorted the self-made
man: why. sir, have nothing but
sympathy. "-Chicago Daily News.
Deledia-Phat are yez dom, takin'
the lock off the cupboard dure, Pat?
Are yez chrazy? Pat-No, darlint; tn
dochtor tould me to-day that I must
quit boltin' me food-and I'm goin' to
obey insthrustions!
Yes. I'll give you a meal Of VIC
tuals II you'n shovel Off these side
walks" Would you not prefer, mad
am, to have me shovel off the snow?"
Poor fellow! Have you tramped all
the way from Boston ?"-Chicago Trib-
une.
Sandy--Why are yer runnn' SO fast
pard? Cinders-Dere's lynchin mob
behind me- Sandy-Dey don't want to
lynch yer, do dey! Cinders-No. but
dey want dis clothesline I'm Wearin
ms suspenders fer der rope.--Chicago
News
whats all this fuss about! asked
the policeman. stepping between the
two young men. The one that had got
the worst of 1t and was wiping the
blood from his nose pointed to the 9th
er fellow. HE can tell you her name
If he wants to-" he said. II WORT
Chicago Tribune.
They had been discussing the baby's
ears. eyes aud nose. And l think it's
got It's fathers hair" said the joyful
young mother. "Oh, is that who's got
1t? noticed it was missing" And
as the tall girl with the suave man.
ner said this, the mother looked du-
biously at her.-Judge-
"Oh, yes. I've opened an Office" said
the young lawyer; you may remember
that you saw me buying an alarm
clock the other day" YES" replied
his friend; you have to get up early
these mornings. ehy" "Oh, no. use
1t to wake me up. when it's time to
90 e."-Philadelph Press.
Such Is Fame.--"Afr. Henpecque, let
me Introduce you to the Count de
Dieppe." "Ah. Get eez re honor to meet
musician. l hear sar. Eat you an
your family play re music" why. l
don't know the first thing about mu-
Sic" But l hear Get all around Eat
you play second fiddle to your. wife!"
Tit Bits.
Sir" exclaimed the injured party.
"you stuck your umbrella into my
eve" "Oh, no. replied the cheerful
offender you are mistaken. Mis-
taken?" demanded the irate man,
you idiot. l know when my eye is
hurt. ! guess Doubtless" replied
the cheerful fellow. but you don't
know my umbrella. borrowed this
one from friend to-day" -Cincin.
natl Times Star