The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-09-08


west of Minnesota, but even across the
Pacific Ocean. and touches the shores
Of Japan and China. And when Jay
Jay Hill trembles-as even the best
and highest of hills will tremble at
times-the vibrations are felt half way,
around the globe. There are thousands
of Minnesotans who swear by Jay Jay
Hill exclusively; only when doing so
they slightly change the name, and
say, "By Jim Hill, it's SOP
The three chief products of the state
are iron ore, wheat, and mosquitoes.
Iron ore ranks first in bulk and weight;
wheat ranks first in actual value mo-
squitoes rank first in peopling lunatic !
asylums, jails, warehouses, peniten I
tiaries, cemeteries, and the kingdom of
Pluto. The Minnesota mosquitoes are
either descended from the japanese
soldiers, or the Japanese soldiers are
descended from the Minnesota mosaui-
toes. This / infer from the fact that
both are small but filled to the bill with
pernicious activity. The similarity
stretches further. If reports from Rus
sian sources are true then the more Jap
anese that are killed or disabled, the
more will remain in the field to fight.
For instance: At Port Arthur the Rus
SLAMS killed and wounded 10000 out of
$4,000 japanese, and after the fight the
number of Japanese ready to fight
amounted to 100000. And if you fight
against thousand Minnesota mosqui-
toes, and kill nine hundred of them,
there will be two thousand mosquitoes
left to fight. Once upon time, before
the state discovered that my education
had been sadly neglected, had to fight
nay way through 47O,OO0O0o,O 100000 OF
mosquitoes, and yet live to tell the
tale. But not now; I'll tell you some
other time. [ merely mention the ex-
j, act number to make it clear to you
that the supply of mosquitoes is un-
limited; and that, coupling this with
r the well known aptitude of mosquitoes
= for unflagging and endless mischief,
3 resulting in physical, mental and NOR
: al breakdown of humans who have to
o contend against their onslaughts, it at
: once becomes apparent that the breed
ing of mosquitoes is the first, and as
o far as results are concerned, the most
;. important industry of this state; and
4 that, if we are justified to look upon
o the entire scheme of things from tel
a Biological point of view, we are forced
3 to conclude that mosquitoes were
q made, created, evoluted, or the devil
n knows what, for the sole purpose to
, drive man to madness, to suicide, and
. to drink.
It This is state of sudden changes
b In the morning it seems from all ap-
pearances that the conditions of the
d time Of Elijah the prophet are about to
n be duplicated:-the earth cracks fol
e thirst, and the sun wears stereotyped
D. grin on his old mug that plainly reveals
a the relentless cruelty of his disposition
j. At noon farmer, tired out with wait
le ing for rain, bitches his horses to the
le plow, and makes brave effort tC
le scratch the surface of the soil Every
s. once in while, as he shifts his cue
Of from right to left, or vice versa; OF
at as he momentarily forgets to cus'
oil the horses who, by the way, are doing
le their duty according to the best O.
r their ability, he heaves an anxious
IN sigh, and says, "Gosh, but 1 hope i
st will rain soonw Then, when at tn,
of further end Of the field he stops t,
Iii think it all over, he suddenly hears
It's noise, and looking behind him, sees
be mass of clouds moving towards him a
Dill the rate of a mile second, and b
lis jumps seventeen feet up in the air an
IL exclaims gleefully Thunder, be gosh!
is By the time his feet return to Mothe
ne Earth the clouds are above him, an
is the lightning flashes hither and thithel
DIS and the thunder roars and cracks, an
es. the rain descends in bucketsful, an
IN tubsful, and in sheets, and in torrents
we He hastens home; but within a hur
to dred yards from the barn his horse
Ter mire. Leaving them to their fate, b
in pulls off his No. IA boots, and wade
n and swims for home, which he enter
tes by climbing into the attic windoy
ID Here he finds his wife and children
,ss who have left the lower regions to o.
r7