The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-01-01

J neuer uio pe1ore. Maybe you vha
dear und don't hear What said, bu
you shall fix oop my shoes or I'll max
IL SO hot Tor you dot you vhas roaste,
In cold weather! Dere vhas something
more, too, una you keep right on listen
ing NIT all dose big ears of yours.
can't smoke While on duty, ash dot take
AWAY my dignity, but when goes or
like to put good cigar in my moutl
und swell aroundt und put on STYLE. I
Will be your business to buy me thre,
good cigars eafery day, und you past,
dot in your hat"
"Vhy shall put him In nv boty
asks. Don't It do If put him on der
hoor or In my pocketbook
mo, you oldt idiot! You paste him
IN your hat to make you remember.
it vhas three cigars day, und each
one vhas 10 cents. Haf you got dot
hxed In your mind. or must I take YOU
by der neck to make you remembers"
II don't belief I haf. II you like to
drop In some time und visit me und
smoke my pipe dot vhas all right, but
maype you had better bring some to.
bacco along NIT you"
1 speak dot vhay to dot policemans.
und he vhas SO madt he can't talk for
five minutes. He shust stands und
looks Mt me NIT eyes like mad dog.
When he can speak ut last he calls ME
more ash one hoondered Dutchmans und
idiot asylums und den takes me by der
hair und knocks my head against der
wall. When I recovers my brains und
feels vhas alive again he says:
Now, do you belief I vhas a bigger
man dan der president of der United
States? If you don't belief so you shall
haf some more Of dot same kind. II
vhas three cigars day, tell you, und
each one vhas 10 cents. If you ring in
poor one on me at any time ! yhilI
make you eat it oop. Listen to me
some more. oldt mans. About 3 o'clock
in der afternoon like bite to eat, der
same ash all great mans. 1t shall he
cheese und crackers und beer. See dot
you get der best und put him on n
clean plate. You shall haf him readv
ror me tomorrow. Do you hear me, or
must stir you oop some more"
II don't belief do" says.
"Oh, you don't, Ell? You still think
1 vhas only common policemans in
stead OF der biggest man in der world.
Wen. let us see leetle aboudt dot"
Den he grabs me und chokes me
und bangs my head again, und when
he let's oop belief ] yhas dead. fas
more, und my ears yhas buzzing like
aofso y .mbiubccs- nsh he says:
II you vhas deaf shall make your /
ears all right before i vhas done When
q Dutchk cobbler sets out to defy der
biggest man in America It vhas> I'm
time something vhas done. Ggrowl- III
your mind, oldt mans. It a daXfy- '
er Of beer four or fiys eafsyIe lunch
,o,,n smus ia, m,ee sooa G q a neeer, about s
aon NIT plenty yaoon; 1t vhas 10 !
,,o,o,i, - der ,dfid der shoes or my ]
NV ~ charge. Let's see IL der
,an,lv Is more? oh, yes! Sometimes
uh.p man like me don't haf some
Sanee in his pocket. When he don't
. co,nas In here to borrow dollar OF
ou, und you Will hand IT carer H. Il.
}. Do you know What dot meansr
"He means dot don't lend somepou9
dollar" says.
"Oh he does. ehv' shouted der po-
ash he hauls me all oafer uer
hon md pulls my hair und punches
nv ribs und bangs me NIT his knee.
stand oop dere und look at me VMle
,av something's to you. shall be out OF
,honpe tomorrow und drop In mere una
crook nv finger like so. You mar uer
dollar ready, und you hand 1t oafer hKe
some lightning. II you DON'T
lind he shakes me till belief dot all
nv teeth vhill drop oudt on der moor.
, don't say nottings, und he stands me
oo,, md looks Mt me und smiles und
says: x,
"How yhas it now, Dutchy? Vhas
YOU der biggest man In der woria or
yhas I? 1t takes me leeue Yhiie u
make you see something's, but / guess
YOU hat your eyes und your ears open
after awhile. One ting more, una go
oudt ON my beat und let der poobiic see
how big a man vhas. see you mar
some theater bills in your shop window
md so YOU get some deadhead passes
Won sball save 'em oil und gif 'em to
mo for my friends und family, IL
catch Won going to der theater l snail
break both your knees NIT my ciuo.
| Maype You vhas leetle deaf, una 30
| + shall make sure dot you hear me-"
| Nit dot he bangs me all around once
more und gifts me n punch DOT ieafs me
dead on der floor, und when wake COP
he yhas outdoors und my wife was
bending oafer me und saying / vhas
,six weeks in der hospital. 1t looks e
me from a cobbler's bench MS II shai
haf some troubles NIT dot policeman
before get through. Nd. QohD'
Il A Possible Contingency. /.
Remember, my boy, saio tne y.