davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

A laugh that netted the laugher a
Pottsville. Pa. Several years ago a
prospector named Donahue-a good
Irish name, indicating that its owner
might be depended upon to laugh and
cause others to laugh at the right time
was prospecting in the mountains Of
Bell county, Ky, when he fell in with
a man named Bowman. Bowman had
quarrel with a desperado, who
promptly drew his gun" and was
about to pump Bowman full of lead,
when Donahue laughed. 1t was a
hearty. infectious laugh. 1t set the
leaves aquiver and awakened the
echoes in the mountain. To hear Dom
ahue laugh was irresistible, and in an
instant the bad man with the gun was
laughing until tears stood in his eyes
and Bowman was holding his sides to
keep them from exploding from the in
ward mirth he felt. OF course a man
convulsed with laughter cannot shoot
and kill another man from whose
throat the merry ha-ha's! are rolling
generously, so the tragedy was avert
ed and Bowmans life was saved. In
order to show his appreciation of DON
ahue's timely and life-saving laugh,
Bowman gave him a half interest in
mining claim. The other day rich
coal vein was found on the land. and
Donahue's interest is appraised at ST.
100000. Who can say hereafter that
a prospective murder is no laughing
matter?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Raleigh News and Observer says:
1.-THE Southern banks have increased
their business 16.1 per cent. during the
past year. All other sections except
New England and the West decreased.
The South is in the saddle!"
The New Orleans Picayune Oem.)
says: There is now a better prospect
of Democratic success than ever there
has been since the campaign. was talked
of, and 1t has within very few days
past grown so good that even the pes
simists who could see nothing but de-
feat are now encouraged with strong
hopes of success. Mr.. Cleveland's APP
prevail of Judge Parker's candidacy has
been the turning point in the cam
paign."
The Chicago Chronicle (Dem.) says:
"If the ruling made by Pension Com
missioner Ware under which all sur
vivors of the Civil War who have
reached the age of 62 years are entitled
to a pension is not overruled by a de-
cision of the Supreme Court Mr.. Ware
will be the most expensive official this
country has ever had, as his ruling
will cost between $50. 600, 900 and $780,
100000 a year. Well may the taxpayer
ask Mr.. Ware if he knows where he is
at"
The New York World (Dem.) says:
"Our pension system is only a step from
the general old-age pension of Ger
many. 1t is now costing us almost as
much, even in advance of the returns
from the new Roosevelt edict, as it
would cost to pay pension of 500 a
year to every man in the United States
over 65 years old. Our tariff system
has brought up a whole generation in
a Socialistic atmosphere. 1t has dis
couraged individual initiative and has
taught young men to look to the gov
eminent for help instead of to them
selves. But the most persuasive of all
the evangelists of Socialism has been
trust finance. Socialists recognize it
as their ally from the very start"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12
THE MORNING NEWS is published

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THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues a
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Subscriptions payable in advance
Remit by money order. check or reg
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at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
local or reading notices. amusements
and classified column, 10 cents line
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal
to one inch in Depths the standard
of measurement. Classified column ad-
vertisements, l cent a word each inser-
tion. Every word and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less
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Sundays. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at bust
ness office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place OF
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 210. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately re-
ported.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
nah, Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, IS Park Row.
New York City. H. C. Faulkner. Man
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12
BRIGHT BITS.

-"Predigested insect powder!" sniff
fed the Cockroach of the old school,
with fine scorn.-Puck.
-Patience-'I hear she has been en-
gagged eleven times!" Patrice-'I hate
to see a girl get in a rut like thatl"
-Yonkers Statesman.
-He-"Ha Absurd things those
'Battledore Ballads Eth! What?"
She-"I'm sorry you think SONY sis
ter wrote them" He-"Er-of course
l don't mean the words-they're rip
pin. 1 mean the music-poor stuff
spois words-composer ought to be
kicked-who wrote ito" She-'I did!'
Punch.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

Dan DAILY in his younger days es-
sayed to write fiction, and went to
the editor of Boston paper with his
first effusion, saws the New York
Times. The editor criticised the work
severely and advised the future come
dian to study Nathaniel Hawthorne.
The vein of humor peculiar to Daily
had developed even at that early date.
He said rehectively:
"If my story were printed it would
measure about half column, would
it not?'
about that" replied the editor,
wondering what that had to do with it.
Your rate of payment is IS per
column, believer" pursued the young
man.
Yes"
"Good-day. I like to be pleasant
and agreeable and popular with ev-
erybody; 1 am even willing to dethrone
Hawthorne to please an editor-but
not for 50, nor for So
Whereupon he casually departed.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

There is a moral. says an exchange
in this account of a worshipping ad-
mirer's visit to his favorite author, and
that moral is-'If you are fond of hero
worship, never make a pilgrimage tc
see the hero"
His presence was a shock to me
He did not have long hair. He was
not tall and lean. He did not look
hungry, or lonesome. His eyes did
not have a faraway look in them. In
stead Of dining on incense, he ate beef
and complained that 1t was tough on
him. and, to cap the climax, while
reaching for a book in the library, he
stepped on the cats tail, and said
On that cat!' and kicked the feline
through glass window. Then he or
dered whisky straight, and told the
man to charge It'll"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

There are sdmetimes more things
connected with the duties of a private
secretary than most people imagine.
In New York court the other day
young woman brought suit for breach
of contract against her former en-
ployer wealthy widow. The young
woman had been employed as a pri-
vate secretary. She told the court
that one of her daily tasks was to go
into the receiving vault where the re-
mains of the widows husband were
deposited, raise the lid of the casket
and look upon the face of the dead
man to see If he were still there.
Another duty was to wind up music
box and place it in the vault, so that
the widow could have music when she
visited the tomb.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

Talk of bribery in connection with
the passing of several corporation bills
by the New York Legislature has be-
come open and somewhat pointed. The
charge has been made that several
legislators have been unduly infu-
enced some by the use of real money
and others by the use of promises. .
progress of legislation gave 1t as his
opinion, a few days ago. that hundreds
Of thousands of dollars had changed
hands" at the capitol for the promotion
Of certain bills. The Republicans are
in power at Albany, and the charges
Of during the approaching campaign.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

The season of Democratic state con-
ventions is now fairly on. New Mex
leo win hold her convention to-mor-
row, and New Jersey the next day.
Next week New York, Massachusetts,
and Pennsylvania viii hold conven-
tions, and the month viii be wound
up by the convention of New Hamp-
shire. May and June will be literally
sprinkled with convention dates, so
that henceforth until the great con-
vention in st. Louis the Democrats
will be kept pretty busy.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

The Chinese exclusion laws are be-
ing gone over in administration circles
in Washington, with the purpose in
view of ascertaining if they need
amendment and what the character OF
the amendment should be. Senator
Quay wants them changed in such
manner that 'Chinese Christians" may
be admitted to the country. If a
change Of that kind were made, it is
safe to say there would be an unusual
number of conversions among the Ce-
lestials.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12
HOTEL GRENOBLE

High-class Family and Transient Ho-
tel, European plan,
9TH Avenue & seth Street, New York
Unsurpassed location, opposite Carne-
gle Hall, within three blocks of Cen
trail Park
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
Broadway cars pass the door and
connect for all points of interest. CUT
sine and service the best. Send for
illustrated pamphlet.
a. f. DICK, Proprietor.
Also proprietor of Long Beach Hotel.
Long Beach, L. l., less than one
hour from New York City.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12
The Weather.

The indications for Georgia for to-
southwest to northwest winds. East
ern Florida fair weather. with variable
winds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

1t hasn't been many years since twin
screws for steam vessels were a novel
ty. Now. almost before that novelty
has worn off. the announcement is
made that the new Cunard ships that
are to have turbine engines will be
equipped with quadruple screws.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

German sewing machine manufac-
turers are demanding of their govern
ment protection against American
machines. American machines, it is
said, are sold in Germany at prices
lower than they can be bought for
by consumers in the United States.
The American tariff is responsible for
this condition of affairs.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

sideration of the Journal and the news
p.,pcr and commercial interests as far
north and west as Chicago.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

Many headache comes from the
slight but constant strain of imperfect
eyes. Wrong glasses will increase the
strain; right glasses will relieve it. We
fit glasses-properly, accurately, scien-
tifically-to all defects of sight; artis-
tically, as regards frame fitting and
size of lens satisfactorily, as to ease,
comfort and price. Weak eyes made
strong. Examination free.
HINES OPTICAL CO..
DIR. LEWIS A. HINES. Refractionist.
Bull Street and Oglethorpe Ave.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-12

After several years agitation of the
matter, the New York Legislature has
passed an act abolishing the Office of
coroner in New York city. The coro-
ners who are now in office will serve
out their terms, but with their retire
Inent the offices will become obsolete.
Thereafter all such cases as are now
handled by coroners will be in the
hands of trained physicians. In cases
of mysterious deaths the physicians
will report to city magistrates, leav-
ing in their hands the duty of further
investigation and subsequent reference
to the district attorney in the event
that prosecution is deemed necessary.
Senator Elkins would be an ideal
man for second place on the Republi-
can ticket. There is probably not a
man in public life who more than he
stands for corporate wealth and the
money power.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24

already famous at the aee Of % yoara
u 'the kidnapped infant" was ro.
turned 20 his ioetor parents. Mr.. and
Mrs. Cakes. OF the salvatlon-Army, az
Charlton road. Hardesden. Saturday.
Much mystery has boon woven
around The allegcd ,kidnaping OF Q iC.
months-old baby, Hugh Spencer Rolfc.
from che home Of It's father. an On.
gineer Of Dudley houses Park rad,
Norbiton.
Tho child. Il was alleged was taken
away by its nurse on re0ruary 20. and
It was also stated that the sum OF S7c
had disappeared at the same time.
The actual facts OF the story appear 10
be that while Mr.. Rolfe was aNseat on
business in Manchester the child was
taken away by Mrs. Roife. the little
ones mother.
There is still no solution Of the mys-
terry attaching to the dlsappes nee a
little over three weeks ago Of Miss
Annie Mills. Of Hastings,
Miss Mills. who was sc. is a daugh-
ter Of the late Captain John Mills. for
merly a well known East Indian
trader. on February Is. while barely
co~nvalescent from an attack % influ-
enza. she left home suddenly, and went
to Dover. where she disappeared.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24

craft of begging. A metropolitan pc.
lice inspector OF many years expert
snce. in discussing the epidemic o
abductions. recently said:
THE number Of children who are
stolen by professional beggars and
gypsies in and around London every
year is UNNECESSARILY greater than the
general public imagines. AS the ma
i0rity OF those children are stolen
from the slums. publicity Is seldom or
never given "a their disappearance. II
Is an undoubted fact that in the East
end there are persons who make II
their business 70 obtain and train chill.
dren in the art OF begging and steal
ing. II II also well known that bun.
dreds OF the little girls that disappear
every year are stolen by those persons
FOR the purpose OF supplying the cease.
less demand Of what is known as the
white slave trade. II is a curious
fact that children with a physical de-
formity or with a striking skin dis.
ease are a. much in demand among
professional begsars as healthy chill.
drcn."
A number Of extraordinary cases Of
kidnapping are now engaging the az
%tention Of the police %RathOrities.
Despite the efforts Of the Berkshire
police no clue has yet been found "a
young Alfred knight. the ~s-yeaF-old
boy who 20 mysterioualy disappeared
from vAslem road. Reading. over q
fortnight aEo.
The Kingston kidnapping case found
It's sequel IN a sentence Of thres
months imprisonment Al the loca.
petty sessions Saturday.
Mr.. Allen Massey employed a wo
man named Mary Ann Dobson a. hiI
ho~usekeeper. he had reasons 10 b
dissatisfied with her and gave her
weeks notice. ~whereupon Ehe disap
peared and took with her the young
est Of Mr.. Massey's five children-ai
infant Of 2 years and 2 months.
When she was arrested some day
Afterwsrd IN staines w0rkhouse. 81.
declared she had taken the end b
cause che loved H. but the baby wa
stated 20 be in a very shocking Goa
ditlon.
Justify demonstrating his thanks I
the authorities, Charles Gordon staarf
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24

vest Pembroke. Me. March IL
Mrs. A. l. Smith 81 this place. Says
thar Dodd's Kidney pills are the best
remedy Tor growing girls Mrs
Smith emphasizes her recommends.
lion BY she following eaperlsnee:
sly daughter wss thirteen years
old last November uud Il Is TOW two
years since ahe Was nFst taken with
Crazy Spells that would last = week
and would then pass on. Ia q ulaash
she would have the spells again. A.
these times she would cat very little
and was very yellow. even the whites
u her eyes would be yclloW.
THE doctors gave as no eucour
aEement they al said thsy could not
help her. After taking o box az
Dodd's kidney Pulls. she has bot had
ore bad spell OF course. We eontln-
aed the treatment until she had used
Ia al about q dozen boxes and we
stili give them 70 her occasionally.
when she Is not feeling well. Dodd's
Kidney Pills are certainly the best
medicine Tor groving girls"
Mothers should heed the advice 0f
Mrs Smith. Tor by 70 doing they may
save their daughters much rain and
sickness snd insure q healthy. happy
future for them.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24
BECGERS MADE
.oR0ANlxEp GANG srEALs CHI.
DaEN w LONDON.
THE P0LlCE 0FFICIALS ARE HAFELLO
Take Tots From slvms and Cases Arc
Seldom Reported Professional
Bespsrs and oyPslee Teach Them
the Art q Soliciting Aims From
Public.

LONDON.-tspecial.) After puz.
zlfng for weeks over a long series OF
child abductsons, the London police
have discovered the existence Of an
organized system Of abduction. car
ried on by n gang Of clever child
thieves IN the metropolis and the sur
rounding country districts. SO far the
efforts OF the police to arrest the lead
ers Of the gang have been unsuccess-
ful.
In the past three weeks more than
a score OF abductions have been
brought to the attention OF the police.
while it is certain that a much larger
number Of children has been stolen.
Of which the police have received no
report, The daring Of the child thieves
and the alarming increase in the mum.
Der OF children who have disappeared
has awakened the officials to the seri.
BUSINESS of the situation, and the most
strenuous efforts are being made 10
run down the gang which Is believed
to be responsible for the largest per
eensage Of the ~abductions.
While the police are confident tina,
the greater number OF the missing
children have been stolen for the pur'
pose Of claiming rewards. It is known
that many have been abducted by
gypsies and professional beggars, with
the object Of training them in the
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24
visit Historic spos.

NEWPORT NEWS. vA.-tspecIal)
A party OF $50 members OF congress.
as guests OF the jamestown exposition
company. made a pilgrimage 10 James
town Island Saturday ard viewed With
interest the historic ruins that mark
the spot OF the first Anglo-saxon set
Element on the Western Hemisphere.
The object Of the pilgrimage was 20
arouse interest among the congress.
men in the exposition 20 be held on
the shores Of Hampton Roads IN 1897
10 celebrate the three hundredth ami
Yersary Of the first settlement. The
congressman sfterwnFd visited New.
port News and Inspected the battle.
ship Virginia. which will be launched
April 5. and then crossed TO the Nor.
folk navy yards. Saturday evening, q
banquet was rendered the party At Old
Point Comfort.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24
ACCEPT WAGE REDUCTION.
Sheet Iron Workers Sign the Revised
Scale for Coming Year.

PTTTSBuRG-(Special) The de-
mand Of the manufacturers for a re-
duction. in the sheet and tin plate wage
scale has been conceded by the gener-
al executive board Of the Amalgamat-
ed Association Of Iron, Tin and Steel
Workers. An agreement was reached
Saturday and a copy OF the revised
scale for sheets was submitted 10 the
American Sheet and Tin Plate Com.
pany for their signature The new
scale calls for a reduction averaging
aboutS per cent, in addition TO the 10
per cent cut that went into effect on
January /, making a total reduction OF
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24
plaeu.a 90 lmprevsmsnta.

WASHINGTON. d, C.-(speclail
members OF the special committee ap
pointed AZ the Raleigh meeting las
Tuesday night 90 press legislation foi
the Improvement o. the Kaw river, hat
a conference Friday morning and q
was decided 70 let Representatives
cowherd and Boworstock deliver th'
forna' arguments before the senais
committee on commerce Monday morn
ing AZ a. o'clock. Senator Stone. I
member Of the commerce COMMITTEES
Wiii also address the members
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24

Elhcria Is yet the land e myaterN
popularly. 4 10 supposed Z be q
country clad 10 Ice. OF drsary vhsees
OF snow. barren plain and Jagged
mountaius. This popular idea 10 not
altogether correct True. there are
mountains and barren deserts but
there are vast plateAne and immenae
stretches OF fertile, well watered
plains The climate Is extremely cold
In winter aud excessively hot In SUM
mer.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24
ARE FOR WOOD
ONLY TWO REPUBLICAN, SEN,
AroRs VOTED AGAINST ".
BOT five DEMOCRATS WERE FOR MIN
They Were coekrell, Pettus, Patter
son. Clarke and pubois-seott and
kittrsdge the Two Republicans
Who Voted No-wood VIII Be
Lieutenant General IN Five Years.

WASHINGTON. ~ Especially Gen
eral Leonard Wood Friday was con.
flrmed major general by the senate,
the vote being as to 16. The rank
dates from August s. 1908. the day
President Roosevelt made the promo
ton. The ontes against his con
firmation began on November 10. 1903.
soon after congress convened In spe
cial session. and continued through
the present session until Friday,
When death removed Senator Hanna
from the opposers Of General Wood,
only two Republicans remained in the
minority. They were Senator Scott. a
member Of the military affairs com.
mittee. Who opposed the nomination
while Il was pending IN committee,
and Senator Kittredge.
Five Democratic senators voted
with the majority In favor OF confirm
alton. They we're Senators Cockrell
and Pettus. members Of the military
affairs committee. and Senator'S Pat
terson, Clarke OF Arkansas. and Du-
bois. The negative vote ON the con-
firmation was as follows:
Bacon. Berry. blackburn. Clark OF
Montana. Culberson, Gibson. Latimer.
McCreary. MeIaurin, Mallory. Martin,
Money. Newlands. Simons, all Demo.
Gratis; and Kittredge and Scott, 1se-
p~ublicans.
Senator Foraker moved 10 make the
vote public and Senator Blackburn
moved to make public the testimony
had before the committee on military
affairs committee.
The publishing OF the testimony
was voted down and a general under
standing prevailed thai the vote was
70 be given out. When the senate con
vened, Senator Foraker was APP
preached by the opponents Of General
Wood. 1t was admitted then that the
contest against confirmation was lost,
and there was nothing to be gained by
carrying the case over. An agreement
therefore was reached whereby 40
more speeches were made.
Dependent upon the confirmation or
General Wood were i67 promotions for
other army officers. These have been
held up since the nominations were
made By the President. but now will
be confirmed without opposition. They
include twenty coloaeis. promoted 10
be brigadier generals on the retired
and ole brlgadier general on The act'
I've list. aud officers ranking from
colonels down 60 second iie%utenRnts.
All these nominations. a. well as chat
Of General Wood. were emit 10 the sen.
ate at the beginning OF the special ses.
sion In November and lapsed when
that session closed They were Sent
70 the senate Immediately az the ne
ginning OF the regular session.
A controversy arose as 10 whether
they were reappolntments, and alsS
whether the promoted officers wer'
entitled 10 the rank and pay of IN,
grade TO which they were nominated
As ali no doubt viii be speedily con
firmed according TO military %anthoritl
they win take rank and pay from IN
time they we're frs, appointed 70 III
vacancies.
The confirmation Of Wood viii maxi
him lieutenant general and chief o
stan in five years, and for fftecl
years.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24

ST. LOUIS - Especially After
spending two weeks a. Humphrey.
Ark. IN an effort 10 learn who vas 70.
sDonsible for blowing up the postoffiee
there with dynamite three weeks ago,
Postmaster Inspector Craig returned
Tuesday and reported that be waa an
able 10 find any clew. The postoffice
was blown up because a colored post.
master was IN charge. The town has
iesg lhan 800 inhabitants. but pro-
fcsaed Ignorance Of the details.
No, worth their salt-ToaarA
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1904-03-24

A New York man has invented an
instrument with which the music OF
the stars can be heard u is perhaps
well 20 refrain from haiiing such an
instrument with Joy until Il IS found
out whether the stars = producing
ragtime.