davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progress., 1904-12-24
RULES FOR A sANIrARiUM.
As They Should Be According to No
Less an Authority Than
"Puck."

The object OF this sanitarium is to
make people think about themselves.
Remember that If you think about any
one else but yourself, you are likely to
be expelled.
Eat as little Of the food we provide q
possible. At our rates, which are double
the rates of an ordinary hotel, we can
not affard to pamper the stomachs Of our
patrons.
A full line OF medical books will be
found in the library. II you have any
idea that you are getting well, read them
and be cured-of the idea.
Our sun parlors are for the purpose Of
allowing our patients to tell each other
of their ailments. That everyone may
have a chance, no patient will be allowed
to tell the history Of his trouble moro
than once in "a hours.
Do not ask the resident physicians
foolish questions. such as what he 10
prescribing for you. or when you can es-
cape. We get a rake-off on all medicines
used, and you can depend upon it that we
shall keep you under our fostering care
as long as possible.
The management requests that all let.
ters written home should bs written on
the regular sanitarium paper. which con-
tains an impressionistic picture Of the
way our place ought to look.
Our motto: while there's Cash
there's Hops."
The progress., 1904-12-24

WITH CLOSELY BUTTONED COAT.
pregnant fields; then he slouched along
the wagon road to the building and sat
down upon the steps.
Silence brooded over a prosperous
land--a silence intensified rather than
broken by the grooming of wild fowl in
a slough to the east and an occasional
cheerful call from distant farmhouse
Jacob was alone and Off guard. Dumb
physical suffering and the loneliness of
his class spoke in every line Of his
shabby figure, and he crouched in the
teeth Of the merciless wind like a
wounded wild animal.
Finally he rose and tried the door.
Finding it locked, he walked about the
building until he spied an open window
which he could reach by aid of board
slanted against the siding. Climbing up,
be dropped inside and shut the window
after him.
The room was warm and neat. He
sat down on one of the tiny front
desks.
Lord, | remember that SMELL" he
muttered. Just like it was when was
a little kid and went to school-varnish,
chalk dust and boy. Schoolma'am keeps
things slick"
A fit of coughing shook him and left
him gasping. When he could get his
breath he carried the teachers chair to
the stove, and, propping his heels against
the warm iron, leaned forward to get as
near the heat as possible.
"Schoolhouse Is newer than ours at
home" he meditated, but it's built the
same. That corner over there is where
The progress., 1904-12-24

Woro OF ADVICE to young man should
say 'concentrate.'"J
once having selected your pinnacle, no
matter how difficult the way, never,
never rest until you have reached it."
Equally insistent is Mary E. Proctor
the popular lecturer On astronomy, on
the Importance Of concentration.
very soon after began my work."
she says, 81 learned that l must give
myself up absolutely to it IL l were to
achieve success. There could be no
side issues, nothing else to absorb any
of my energy or take any of my
thought or time. put aside all social
functions, of which l am rather fond,
and have since devoted my days and
nights to astronomy. Not that Iwork at
night, except when I lecture. rest
and retire early, so that in the morn
ing may have the spirit and enthu-
siasm necessary to do good work"
Won Rhodes Scholarship.
Eugene H. Lehman, the first Ameri-
can to win Cecil Rhodes scholarship
at Oxford university, is fine example
When a mere boy he made up his mind
to live in accordance with the great
laws of the universe. In order to do
that he felt that he must attain to the
highest intelligence possible to him.
Since, as boy of IL. he began to ques-
tion and wonder about the meaning of
life. he has devoted himself unwaver-
ingly to that purpose. No hardships,
no petty social sights, no obstacles
which he encountered in working his
way through college, interfered for a
moment with his object. What is the
result? At "a he is one of the most
brilliant students in America. And this
result has not been attained at the
sacrifice of any Of the robust bouyant
qualities of young manhood. II 1t had,
he would not be eligible to a Rhodes |
scholarship. which demands that can
didate shall excel In four things-liter- |
ary and scholastic attainments; fond |
ness for and success in manly outdoor |
sports; qualities Of manhood-truth,
devotion to duty, sympathy |
for the weak, kindliness, usefulness |
and fellowship; exhibition during
school days of moral force of character
and OF instinct to lead and to take an
interest in his schoolmates.
This young man is not working to-
ward any merely selfish end. "Since
the scholarship." he says, ct |
have decided to- mt myself for work
among my fellowmen. Ny highest aim
and ambition in life now Is to do my
humble part toward alleviating the
misery and sufferings Of the Jewish
people in Russia, Rouuania and Cali
The progress., 1904-12-24
AGE OF CALIFORNIA TREES.
Many of Them Said to Have Been Very
Old When the Christian
Era Began.

We speak about persons being az
old as Methuselah. Yet, he lived but
a brief hour. compared with some of
the great sequoia trees which are be-
ing sacrificed to short-sighted greed in
California.
A late PROSTATE monarch of the
woods. that was Is feet in diameter
several feet from the ground, began its
existence in 271 B. c. BY 254 A. D.,
when 1t was SIG years of age, forest
nre burned On its trunks a scar thres
feet wide. Then 1t enjoyed 1,1s0 years
Of placid life. But In 14i1 A. d. the
tree, then aged LIE ye.rs, was injured
in another fire and 1t took the scar
IS years to heal. The worst attack of
all occurred in 1897, when the tree,
then 2.06s years old, was attacked by a
fire which left scar which 1t took 1O3
years to heal.
The progress., 1904-12-24
Economical Dish.

Chuck steak is rendered" and vel
larded with nne clear suet- 1t is the1
spread out and dredged with -four. Mex
peas, potatoes, carrots and bits of eel.
cry are cut into dice and strewn- JoveI
II. 1t is then rolled over and over an6
the ends well secured BY strings or skew
ers. Afterward this Ia placed In q
casserole. in which is good beef gravy.
q bay leafor two, and q few pepper corns,
and allowed to simmer Gil meat and veg
etables are tender.-Housekeeper.
The progress., 1904-12-24

There is NO better wash to reduce
the Inflammation and Danish redness
Of eyelids than mixture of two ounces
camphor water and two grains borax.
To bathe the eyeballs and lids both
thoroughly there IL no means to com.
pare with the eyecup. 1t is tiny tum-
bier. to be had of any druggist, and
costs but ten cents. Half fill it with the
wash, add very little hot water, just
enough to take the chill OF the mixture
and so make 1t comfortable, then fit the
cup over the eye, throw the head back
and open the eyes wide. You will sool
learn to do this without any blinking
and starting.-Detroit Free Press.
The progress., 1904-12-24
What was your last charge?

Wndt position 40 you now Wish ICr!
State where you wish to be located.
What is the lowest salary you would
care to accept?
Then follows schedule of rates for
jobs. The booking fee for salary of
$500 is $2 for $4,000 salary, "a; for an
unlimited salary" IS. The full fees
ranged from Sc to SIS. The circular
said at the bottom:
"A fee of $1.5O entities clients to en-
gagements for Sunday duty and summer
duty, from May 1 to October 1.
"A fee Of $3 covers Sunday and sum-
mer tenancies for one year. Also per
cent. on the remuneration.
On the first page of the circular were
recommendations from a number Of
Episcopal bishops. The paper stated
that the extra charges for getting cler-
ical engagements in addition to the
booking and other fees ranged from s
to 1-2 per cent of the first years sal
ary. A discount of per cent. was to be
allowed for prompt payment of the fees.
The progress., 1904-12-24

An Alarming case cf Yricardies 49,
fsction That ~ gpssdily
Cured.

He e ! chronic complaineF. u ~
Ginnis; also an amateur hypochon.
driac. His health II his god, snt
never was the god more faithfully
worshippsd, relates London Tit-Bits
He came homo one night recently con-
viuced that he was mortally sick with
acute pneumonis. Mrs. Ginnis,
wholesome. cheerful body, had had tot
much experience, however, with hi
acute attacks Of divers deadly dis.
easei very acute, for they always dis
appeared before morning-to be ,seri.
ously alarmed. So she placidly com.
pounded strong mustard-plaster and
getting him to bed, applied 1t to the
chest. After grumbling himself tired
Mr.. Ginnis fell asleep. and his wifi
followed suit. convinced that the crisis
of the trouble had been passed.
"Oh. oh. oh!" groaned Mr.. Ginnis
waking his wife in the early morning
what is 1t now" demanded that
lady. somewhat impatiently, because Of
her disturbed slumbers.
my heart. my heart!" gasped hel
husband.
Have you lost III" asked his wife,
sleepily.
II have always known that heart
disease would kill me. in spite Of what
that fool of q doctor says" continued
Ginnis, bitterly. "Oh, I'm dying!
know I'm dying!"
"What can do for you, dear7''
asked Mrs. Ginnis. prepared for any
thing, from getting him q drink to
going for the doctor and minister.
Nothing. I'm beyond human help!"
he replied. with many groans and ejac-
ulations. "All you can do is to watch
me pass away in this frightful agony.
Oh, my heart! A hundred knives are
cutting at 1t, q thousand pangs are
piercing 1t, q million flames are con.
suming It! You will ind my will on
my desk: and mind. you get nothing
IL you marry again. Oh, oh. how II
burns and scorches! Thank heaven
I'm prepared, and don't forget paid
the pew rent yesterday. and Deacon
Doust promised to send the receipt
last night. Ugh! Ugh! I'm on fire!
I'm q holocaust! I'm a confagration!
Mrs. Ginnis began to laugh as
dawning idea Of the real trouble rose
in her mind.
Laugh, woman!" shouted the suf-
ferer, clawing at tho bed clothes in an
ecstacy of fear, pain and rage. Laugh,
false female, at the mortal agonies OF
him you pretend to love. Laugh, nend,
not female; laugh and gloat safely, for
in moment l shall lie dead, and NO
one can bear witness to the tortures
you have added to the lurid pangs oi
dissolution. Oh. my heart, my heart!
How 1t burns and consumes within
me! The upquenchable fire, the"
Tut, tut, Ebenezer!" demonstrated
Mrs. Ginnis, checking her mirth. -
laughed because / know what's wrong
That mustard plaster has slipped down
over your heart"
An immediate investigation proving
the correctness Of this theory, Mr.. Gin.
mis- now takes it as an insult to be
asked the symptoms Of heart disease
The progress., 1904-12-24
SELLS JOBS TO PREACHERS
Agency will Locate Parsons for Pro
Rata Fees-schedule of Reg
ulation Charges.

Steady jobs at preaching must not
hereafter cost the succrssful applicants
therefor more than per cent of their
Arst years salaries. Such is the dictum
Of the bureau Of licenses. The head Of
IN agency had arranged to take out a
permit An Inspector ascertained that
the concern was engaged in providing
positions for elersymen. An application
blank for diseneaeed ministers con-
tained the following questions to be
1zled out
The progress., 1904-12-24
Auburn Molaases Cookies

To one cupful Of lard and butter
mixed and melted, allow two cupful,
New Orleans molasses, two teaspoon.
fuls Of soda dissolved first in two ia.
blespoonfuls Of boiling water. Their
beaten into the molasses until il
foams, two eggs, pinch of salt, a Ia.
blespoonful of ginger and teaspoonfm
Of cinnamon. Add flour to mix very
soft, and let the dough stand for ar
hour before rolling out. Cut into
cookies q quarter Of an inch thick and
bake in rather hot oven until a ricf
brown.-Washington Star.
The progress., 1904-12-24
From the Apes Standpoint,

Nothing interests me more than
this question Of civilization" said the
ape as he sat in his cage thoughtfully
cracking fleas. "Is it advance or retro
gression? | must confess that am in
clined to the latter belief when l OBJ
serve that fair, young girl feeding pea
nuts to the elephant. Could she be called
civilized or even human, arrayed as she
is in skirt Of the new fur. yeda. or un-
born calf, and a baby lamb jacket. I as
sure you that my ape wives are shudder-
ing at such evidences Of barbarism.
Puck.
The progress., 1904-12-24
No Words Wasted,

Nora was treasure Of servant,
whose habit of speech was often in
direct. but was frequently picturesque
and unexpectedly expressive. One
evening "the master" was sitting in
he library when the door bell rang.
Nora answered it, and on her return
through the hall "the master" in.
quired who it was.
at was young man, sor," replied
Nora.
"Well. what did he want?" was the
question.
"Oh, he was just lookin' for the
wrong number, soE"
"Did he find it?r asked the master.
"Yis, sor; it was next door" Which
reply settled the whole question in the
fewest possible words November
Lippincott's.
The progress., 1904-12-24

Among fruit sandwiches. banana takes
the lead, and to this . slight variety can
be given by spreading each lengthwise
slice Of fruit with whipped cream rather
sparingiy. Upon this sprinkle shredded
cocoanut, pressing the latter weh down
with Q silver knife. Boston brown
bread thus treated will be excellent
Boston Budget
The progress., 1904-12-24

A story credited to the late Repre-
sentative Campbell, of Tammany
tame, tells of an amusing conversa-
ton between two Irishmen In the
employ of the municipal government
Of New York City, says Harper's
Weekly.
That's a good position the lad Null
cahy has," said Milligan.
AYE, good position" replied
Dougherty, "but he'll not last long,"
mot lasht long! Why, wot do ye
mane?"
Hell not lasht long," doggedly
reiterated Dougherty. II said SO when
he took the job foive years ago, and
[ say so sthill!"
The progress., 1904-12-24
periloua Records.

81 suppose q statesman must give .
great deal of attention to books" said
the novice.
WELL" answered Senator Sorghum,
"he has to keep q check book But 1t
Is Just as well for him to be a little
careful alvut what he puts down In
his ledger. Star.
The progress., 1904-12-24

we're very irregular, dark colored and
hull of sediment. The Pills cleared 1t
Ill up and have not had IN ache in
ny back since taking the last dose.
Ny health generally 10 improved .
sress deal"
FoSTER-MILBURN CO.. Buffalo.
2. Y. For sale BY al dsalsrs. pries -
sonts par box
The progress., 1904-12-24
Might Fare Worse.

A Kansas man has bought spirited
team and will drive over into Iowa,
because he is afraid Of the cars But
says the Chicago Daily News, what II
he should meet q few automobiles on
narrow roads with that sp!yited tsamf
The progress., 1904-12-24
On the Contrary.

"Ah. mel" exclaimed Podson. 'it's
hard to be poor"
"Nopsensel" replied Dodson- II ma
1t the easiest thing in the worid"-css-
sells.
The progress., 1904-12-24

Pc e, says:
"Doan's Kidney
Pills proved .
very . Mcient
remedy in my
case. I used
them for disor-
dered kidneys
and bsckache,
from which /
inexperienced
q great deal Of
trou BILE and
pain. The kid
uev eecrekions
The progress., 1904-12-24

with the best my command ~ years to mend the best
could the dsappontmens of boood If have accomplished any
thing in the world of public value has been done at times the
expense of time and effort that would have been required had had the
education aspred to.
would say any young Get college education by all
if within your rea remember that all business that Is
worth doing these days for manly requires just thorough
training the polytechnic school, the law school, the medical school
the divinity school to the in the professions
Some of the brilliant in business life and the
dismal failures have known have been by college men, and in the
dion of to-day and they bound to be from the
with the college education other things being equal must necessarily
have the call in every walk of life.
This what have the young and boys after having
this question before me in its practical -
side for nearly 90 years /I/Z<.
The progress., 1904-12-24
a Gnllrgr Enurattn1 Hum
~ HON. Jos1pH II WALLER. III
ars @ r1aauaaeeurw wsrsptss. S A

COLLEGE education may may not help to succeed
in chosen field in life Very much depends upon the field
There kinds of manufacturing business that
have known to succeed in If he took the sole
direction of the unless he brought up in the business
from boyhood There other kinds of business in which
college education is tremendous advantage
From the exgencies of my family, being the Oldest OF
children and much in basket and store was COM
The progress., 1904-12-24
UuneceGearY.

Hs-I hope you don't make FOO, Of
your husband?
us-Ne; I don't have to-
The progress., 1904-12-24

Surely out Of the twenty-four we
can afford to take one little hour to be
happy.
The progress., 1904-12-24

He that can hold his tongue is even
greater than he that can handle an au-
tomobile.
The progress., 1904-12-24

Be sure Of this: He that hath ears
10 hear hath also a tongue to tell.
The progress., 1904-12-24

There are plenty good fellows at the
bottom of the ladder.
The progress., 1904-12-24
QUICK RESULTS.

w. J. Hill, of Concord,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-02
BERGER FAILED
TO MAKE GOOD
PIRATES GAVE HIM
HARD POUNDING.
Team Could Not Find Struklett and
Was Shut Out-Coulter Had an Off
Day in the Field-Only Three Hits
for the NillerS.
Special. 70 The Journal.

Milwaukee, June Manager Watkins
tried out new pitcher here yesterday
and the trial was a Succession the local
team. The Cantillon colts took revenge
for the defeat Of the day before and shut.
out Minneapolis by score of to o.
Stricklett was in the box for Milwaukee
and had the millens at his mercy at every
stage of the game. He did not strike out
one Of the visitors and only allowed three
hits Two of these were Of the scratch
variety. .. ...
Berger was easy for the heavy hitters
of the local team Stone, Schaefer and
Bateman pounded him for three hits each.
Wolf and Stone found the Columbus cast
off for two baggers. Bateman touched
him up for a home run.
Minneapolis connected with the ball, but
tpopup flies and infleld drives seemed to
be about all they could locate. In the
field Coulter had a bad day and missed
O. couple Of s-grounders-Whlch ne
should have handled clearly. The visitors
did not get man to second base until
the seventh inning. On account Of errors
by Schaefer, Minneapolis had a chance to
score in the ninth. Maloney reached Sec
ond on single and a bad throw, and
Coulter boosted him to third. Fox was
supposed to bring him across the plate,
but failed in the attempt, being thrown
out at first on an infield drive.
The play was fast. but, struggle as they
would, tho mllers could not get away
from the hoodoo Berger seemed to be
working under. The attendance was
small Following Is the score:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-02
GOLF PLAY ON
AT MINIKAHDA
President Land Offers Magnificent
Trophy for the Club
Handicap.

n :
Golfers at the Minikahda club are plan
ming for busy season. The first play
OF the year took place last Saturda, and
next Saturday the qualifying rounds in the
club handicap will start. 1t is not known
how many players will try for the cup,
but it is expected that there will be a
large turnout If the weather is favorable.
Golf has firm hold at the Minikahda
club. President c. L. Land has offered
a fine trophy for later play, and the cup,
a large silver punch bowl, Is now on ex-
hibition at the clubhouse. Play for this
trophy will not begin until later in the
season, and as the cup is the finest Of
fered since trophy play began, the rivalry
for it's possession will be keen. :t
Many members of the club are taking
up golf for the first time this year, and
all Of the regulars have already tried
the course. From present prospects the
season will be the most successful in the
clubs history.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-02
GAMES WANTED,

The Suggers desire games with l1-year- old
teams. Address Donald Mcknight, 124 b Four.
teenth street.
The Bachelors would like to arrange game
for next Sunday with some fast team. Address
Frank Rooks 1927 Sixth avenue N
Out-of-t town games are wanted by the Powers
Mercantile Company team. Address A. J. Wei.
hagyen, care Powers Mercantile company.
Hanson, e2e Taylor street NE. ee' ''l'"'4
The Little sentinels want games with r.
The Millers wish games with any fast 10 or
1de-year-old team in the city for next Sunday,
S sai7 sGeon2g steset Address conney
oo For games With the Tigers. address B. Logan,
Te Wateh team o, the
league would like to arrange for games outside
the league for Sunday afternoons. Address
Frank Franz Kellogg, care the Minneapolis School Of
in and out Of city Address vcor Peteeson
The ozarks wish games with 1s-year-old teams.
Street. ' 0''' 1o'1 n''-se ~"
any team in the twin cities, to be played at
Seventeenth avenue N and Newton. Address
A. ]. Bauer. care Western Union Telegraph
For games with the Mix & Asst team, address
E. Caucutt, 1927 Emerson avenue N.
The f Sso5g Sne sar xadse,s IKE It
The island Cycle Company team has cancelled
city club, at the latter town, next Sunday In in.
stead. The players and friends Of the Island
club are requested to be at the union depot at 10
O'Clock Saturday night. Other out-of-town teams
The Bachelors would like a game for Sunday
with some fast out-of-town team. Address, at
once Frank Rock, manager, 1927 Sixth ave
nue. N.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-02
SOLDIERS AS sPRlNTERs
Fort Smelling Warriors to Contest for
Gold Medals.

Tomorrow will be field day at Fort
Smelling and the athletes of each com
pany. are putting on the last finishing
touches for the event, which promises to
be the best ever held at the fort The
entry list is not yet complete, bue suf-
fcient names have been handed in to
warrant the expectation Of general par
ticipation in every event
The soldier having the highest number
OF points will be awarded a medal as the
best all-round athlete, and the winners
Of the events at the fort will participate
in the department meet
The events to be run Off Friday are:
100-yard dash, 22o-yard dash, 44o-yard
DASH 100 hurdles, pitching shelter tent,
pitching shelter wall, throwing the ham
mer, putting the shot, relay race Of 400
yards, four relays, throwing the baseball
for distance and accuracy.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-02
AT FARGO.

Totals 10 81 IL 2 Totals -. "a 10 s
Fargo ...........0 1 0 0 5 % Ill |
Winnipeg .......,O 0 O o @ O o. q |
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-02
BUBBLE WAS RALkY
Indiana Chauffeur Compelled to Back His
Way Home

Indiana Chauffeur Compelled to Back His
Way Home.
Columbus, Ind, June Frank Oberlies
of Clifford, this county, thinks he holds
the record for an automobile run of eight
miles backward, in ffty-two minutes.
Oberlies was the winner of the automobile
ratified Off here by the Columbus Carnival
and Fair association last THANKSGIVING
Day. He took the auto home and soon
learned how to operate It,. The machine
has always worked properly until Satur-
day, when he came to this city with his
family. When he was ready to start home
he could not make the automobile move
He then tried to back and the machine
backed obediehtly. After several trials
to start the auto he reversed the engine
started backward and backed home, dis
lance of eight miles. SAL