Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-05-04

A man may be perfectly square and
move in the best circles.-Philadelphi
Record.
He-If tried to kiss you would
you call for elp?-She-Would you
need it?-Smart Set.
Mrs. Buye-Have YOU any low even
ing gowns? Saleslady-Low cut or
low price. naturalization Post.
The Debutante-I think she's just as
pretty as she can be. The Wallfiower
Most girls are.-Detroit Free Press.
Between the acts: Governess-Well,
Marjorie, have you done crying? Mar
Jorie-No, haven't. I'm only resting!
Punch
Didn't you feel like killing the
waiter when he stood you up for a
tip:' Eyes. / felt like giving him
no quarter. Cornell Widow.
so Jagsby has absconded Another
good man gone wrong" Nonsense.
It's merely bad man who has been
found ut."-Philadelphia Ledger.
Mrs. Wackum - How did that
naughty boy of yours hurt himself?
Mrs. Snapper-That good little boy Of
yours hit him on the head with a
brick.-Tit- Bits.
80 you think your country will be
lost?' II haven't quite made up my
mind,' answered the King Of Corea,
whether 1t is going to be lost. stray
ed or stolen" -Washington Star
Ma-Oh, how cruel. In India they
whip children with young palm-trees.
Willie-Huh. Don't you spank me
with your palm? And it amt such a
young palm, either.-Boston Post.
Marriage" remarked the moralizer.
lis lottery YES" rejoined the de-
moralizer, but It's one of the games
of chance that clergymen do not try to
discourage. "-Cinclnnat Enquirer.
Passenger Why don't you pro-
nounce the names of the stations so
that we can understand them?. Brake
man-What do you expect for thirty
dollars month"; college professor?
He-Yes. l remembered you at once
us the girl was engaged to in the
mountains some seasons ago. What
remarkable memory for faces you
have, haven't you." MOTOR rings"
II wonder if he's really of any use
In the world" remarked the girl in
blue. "Oh, yes," replied the practical
girl in gray; "he can be used to make
other men jealous Chicago Evening
Post.
"Are you at all familiar with Plato?'
asked Mrs. Oldcastle. NO. that's one
thing Josiah always blames me for.
He says l never make real close
friends with nybody."-Philadelph
Ledger
Kate-Charley and Bessie are very
fond of each other. Bertha-Rathe.
say they are both very fond of Char
ley. 1t is case of two souls with but
Il single thought, you know.-Boston
Transcript
Mamma-Why did you take little
brothers. candy and eat it up? Why
didn't you ask him if you could have
it? Little Alice-why, did. mamma.
and he said 1 couldn't. '-Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.
Hell suppose you bod that man
should never deceive his wife? She
Oh, no, l wouldn't 60 as far as that
How would it be possible for the aver
age man to get wife IL he didn't de-
ceive her?-Boston Transcript.
Detained: Mrs. Smith-We missed
you SO much at our party! Mrs. Jones
And was so vexed when couldn't
come! You see, our cook had company
unexpectedly, and she needed us to I'LL
out the card tables.-Detrott Journal.
Hoping Against Hope: Gayboy (time
1 a. NIL say, old chap, isn't this lit
tie late for you to be out? Aren't you
afraid your wife will miss you? Enpeck
Il hope she will, but she can throw
pretty straight for a woman.-Chicago
| News
Mrs. Colls-And when you told him
1 was married did he seem to be sor-
ry? Friend-Oh, yes; he said SO quite
frankly! Mrs. Colls-Did he really?
Friend-Yes. indeed-he said he was
extremely sorry. although he didn't
know the man personally!
NO, thank you." said Miss De Mure.
81 don't care to meet any new young
men," N.Y. exclaimed Miss Gaddie.
You are select all of sudden!' NO."
replied Miss De N1ure. glancing dream
lily at her new ring. I've merely been
selected all of sudden.-Philadelphi
Press.
Another brute: Mrs. Pretty--Isnt it
strange? Mrs. Beauti has not put on
mourning for her husband Mr.. Pref
ty-I understand that her late hus.
band particularly requested that she
should not. Mrs. Pretty-The brute! I
suppose he knew how lovely she would
look in it.-Pick-Me-Up.
You ought to have place in grand
OPERA" remarked the sarcastic passen-
ger who was trying to read. "Oh,
don't know" replied the fat pnr.J
across the aisle, who was giving an
imitation of song. 1--WE got pace
in Grand Rapids that's good enough
for me.-Detroit Journal.
Yes, sir" said the Denver hotel
clerk to the new arrival, that white
capped mountain away off there is in
the Rockies, and it is hundred and
fifty miles from here" "Who would
have imagined it was so far?" CON-
mented the guest. oh" was the airy
response from the clerk "if the atmos.
phere was only a little clearer 1t would
be three hundred miles away
Judge.