Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1904-05-09

walk in here now! (Never
mindD
Twenty minutes of chit-chat, cross
fire of compliments, dates, and a slight
dash of scan-gosslp.
Approach of an elderly person of
generous proportions and sour coun-
tenance.
More clouds. Rains harder.
The Elderly Personals this where /
find YOU. disobedient girl? How dare
YOU speak to that fellow after 1 had
forbidden you?
Expostulations from the girl, bushes
from the man. CONSERVATION. Balloon
ascension by the old girl. Tears and
foolishness.
Sweet young thing goes out with the
sour old thing. Handsome young man
ducks. Onlookers stand pat!
For further particulars watch the So
cicty columns.
Paw will pay the freight.
Moral. What's the use!-Pittsburg
Dispatch.
81 want to see about getting n SER
want" said the notwithstanding man to
the clerk of an uptown intelligence
office.
Aren't YOU the gentleman who was
here about a week ago." inquired the
clerk.
Yes"
Where is the girl we sent you?"
Gone"
well, lust tell me what qualities
are needed and I'll see if l can get
somebody who will suit. You'd like a
good cook, of coursc?'
II suppose So"
land some one with skill as a laur-
drcss:''
1T wouldn't be Il bad idea"
Look here. Suppose you give me an
exact description Of the kind of girl
you want instead Of letting me do the
guessing"
Let me see" was the pensive re-
joinder. You'd better send one who is
about 5 feet 4 inches high, weight in
the neighborhood of Il hundred and
thirty pounds, and-rathcr short
wasted"
The clerk gave Il gasp of astonish-
ment, and then added:
Would you mind telling me what
you discharged the last girl for?"
we didn't discharge her" he said
sadly. She left. My wife's bicycle
wouldn't fit her.
Brother Jones was noted for his long
and lahorious prayers, and although
the good people of the church respected
him, they We're not at all pleased to
hear him pray in meeting. The new
~; let Of IN ~
Jon2s's unpopularity as prayer" SO
he had no idea why ripple Of amusa-
mcnt passed over the congregation
when, after hymn had been sung, he
said, brother Jones Will lead us in Il
prayer" and in Il fcrvcnt tone added,
"and may God help US. "-Lippincotts
Magazine.
The telephone bell in an uptown resi-
donce rang 4 few evenings ago and IL
young woman, who WAS expecting Il
call. rushed to answer it, being sure
that ore OF her admirers had called her
up.
Is this -" demanded a voice
repeating the number of the phone III
question.
Yes" replied the girl.
"Wtll," continued the voice, eve are
testing the wire. VIII you please draw
a long breath and say, very plainly, L
will be good?'"
She obeyed. 4 will be good" she
said.
"A little slower, and Il little more
distinctly, now, please
I-will-be-good," said the young
woman, trying her best.
no, that's not right at ALL" corrected
the voice. We must fix that wire.
guess. Now. make one extra effort anG
say it again.
The girl caught her breath. Il will
be sooG.' she shouted.
You will, will you?" laughed the
voice. well, I'm glad TO hear you say
50. You We're decidedly unpleasant the
last time | called
And just then the man at the other
end Of the wire rang off,
Now the young woman is trying to
discover just which Of her admirers
played such a detestable joke on her
Philadelphia Press