The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-28
TEE NONPAREJh HAN
Something About the Circus the Boys
Used to Hold in the Barn-Nifty Robin
sons Great Feat Brought to Sudden
Conclusion by His Mother.

Speaking of circuses, do you recall that
wonderful all-star performance we held
in the barn for three or four weeks after
Barnum came to town? The admission
was five pins. One of the prize stunts
was done by Nifty Robinson, who used
to go up a ladder hand over hand. cross
over among the rafters on another short
ladder and SO down on the other side
on still another ladder. This stunt went
well with the crowd until Mrs. Robinson,
coming into the barn one day, looked up
and saw with deep horror her offspring's
little legs dangling in space. AS there
was a scythe, a rake (teeth up) and a
saw or. two on the barn floor or on the
walls she raised loud feminine cutlery
that brought the circus to a close, NIFTY
being led from the scene Of his triumphs
by the ear. After that we all tried the
stunt and found it was dead easy
Feeny Jones, looking around for some
thing to do and remembering the sword
swallowing act, stumped the crowd to try
it, using the scythe as the Hindu jug
gler used the sword, but nobody would be-
gin, so the project fell thru, luckily;
otherwise some small boy certainly would
have been cut in two.
+ A .sbeauty DOCTOR has published an
article on How to Reduce the Size Of
the Nose.' The best treatment for the
nose is to keep it out Of other, peoples
affairs.
When we see the great horses thunder
ing up with the big guns in the war
pictures we often think of the fierce
charger kept on the urban farm of R. F.
Jones' out Hennepin way. Yesterday Mr..
Jones strong daughter, aged or there
abouts, picked up this charger in her
arms and walked off with him, his little
hoofs vainly beating the air.
This may be the last chance you may
have to pat little Georges chubby hand.
It is likely to be blown off on the Fourth.
Lillian Russell says that her age is
like the birthplace of a friend of hers
who was born on an ocean steamer which
was afterward lost at sea. Lii is get
ting old.
Children are now becoming quite the
style in London society.
Speaking of these "silent statesmen, .
the Detroit News tells of keeper Of a
small livery stable who obtained a county
office on the strength of looking wise and
saying nothing. When he got the county
lob it was discovered that he couldn't
write and had kept still solely because he
hadn't the ghost of an idea in his head.
oAAANAC@t'
too.
Owing to the wet weather July mos
quitoes as large as English sparrows are
promised by those who ought to know.
Carry club.
Bill Barlow, a Nebraska editor, calls for
a Fourth of July that permeates. He says:
"Hurrah for the Fourth of JULY
hurrah! and damned be he who would
take from us it's sacred and time-honored
privileges. What matters If lives are
lost, property destroyed and timid folks
hunt the coal hole-ain't it our natal
day? Didn't we give King George the
CLASSY defy and didn't we make good
didn't we gain our independence for all
time, and are we a-going to lay down now
II guess not nit! And yet there are peo-
ple--professedly patriotic people-who
protest Boston. for instance suburb
of Lexington, the custodian of Bunker Hill
and fostt r-brother to both Pauline and
Faneuil Fall-tried it. Chicago-wlnere
liberty in all the word implies is NUM-
cil,al ,notto-tried it. Denver-with more
holiness. happiness and hell to the block
than any other bailiwicl1 on my list of
personally conducted excursions-tried it
as did a thousand towns of lesser note.
| 1t was proposed to celebrate a facetious,
-felonious-Fourth. No fire
crackers and consequent humiliation OF
kidlet digits; no explosion of bombs and
attendant scattering of bad boys brains;
no toy pistols with white nearse next
week for Little Willie; no fire alarms. con-
fagrations, equine runaways--no nothin'.
| and no fun. But it didn't go! Several
/ thousand dollars were subscribed in each
| Of the cities named by misguided men
With too much money; but in each the
project has been abandoned as unpopular
and impra cticable.''
That's the kind of talk we like to hear!
What are a few hundred young lives com
pared with a noise? Does your boy lose
| he forget to throw his cannon cracker
/ until afterwards and three fingers go off
rejoicing with it! Glory!
Give us the good old Fourth If it takes
/ a leg.
| The pastor came by the office window
yesterday wheeling load of microby
| ill-.rooze church theater. In front OF the
! theological unicycle travelled The Journa
band, exuding music at every pore and
Icmptying barrels and barrels of it out or
1.-THE asphalt. where it rebounded back and
! forth against the brick walls of the build
ings Following the oon-pah- pah artists
came the pastors one parson power
wheelbarrow with what looked to us like
! a mighty small load Of earth for stout
man. The motive power carried the bar
row easily and without apparent strain
land the exhaust could not be heard
The load was wheeled around several
blocks and in this way the work of rescue
was. auspiciously begun. "A =. r.
| Germany has on an. av.-age SOC
! orchard trees to the square ly.e.