davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
The Family Spoons.

While rummaging through the
drawers of bookcase in her daugh-
ter's room in search of some writ
ing paper the other day Mrs. VIM
berling came upon bundle of let
tiers tied with a pink string.
She united the bundle and glanced
through several of the letters.
Then she picked them up, went
downstairs and confronted her
daughter.
"Eunicc," she said, in high state
of Indignation, ''who is the idiot
that you're corresponding with, I'd
like to know? OF all the loyesick
balderdash | ever saw this is abso-
lutely the worst. l shall consider
it my duty to report the matter to
your father. Who wrote these let
ters?"
81 am not going to lie to you about
them, malAna," said Miss Eunice
bravely. IF yon will put on your
glasses md look at them again YOU
will find that they're Il lot of old
letters papa wrote to YOU when YOU
were girl. "-Chicaco Tribune.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
HOTEL SLEEPERS.
H 10 Much Easier to Awaken Women
Than Men. r.l H

Than Men. rt.l a
at is UNNECESSARILY harder to
awaken men in the morning than it
is women" said hotel proprietor.
"a tap or two at woman's door in
the morning is sufficient. No mat
ter how late she may have retired,
no matter how exhausted she may
have been, no matter how faint the
yes in answer to the knock that
comes from the bed, you can bank
on it that within a half hour or so
that woman will walk into the din
ing room bright eyed and cheerful,
but with MAXWELL, it's different.
"a. man may leave a call for Z
o'clock in the morning with the
warning that he must be up at that
hour. A few minutes before you
detail boy for the purpose and tell
him not to stop pounding until the
man awakes. The room may be on
the top floor, but you can hear the
thump, thump, thump on the door
away down in the office. Does the
man wake with faint yes and
scramble out of bed? Not he. The
boy knocks until his knuckles are
sore, and then suddenly stentorian
voice roars from the room: es, yes; ;
what in blazes is the matter with
you? Do you think Pm dead?' The
boy retires, turns in his report at
the Office and goes to ease his hand
in cold water.
"Three hours later swollen eyed
individual with wrinkles in his brow
walks up to the desk. L thought |
left call here for Z o'clock in the
morning. You did, and the bell
boy woke you promptly at T. That's
a little too strong is the answer,
and after you've argued with him
for half an hour you haven't con-
WINGED him that he was actually
awakened as he had ordered. So
it goes day after day. The women
get up promptly in response to a
call, while the men invariably turn
over to have another nap."-St.
Louis Globe Democrat.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
Just In Time.

When the bell at an uptown par
sonage rang the other evening the
clergyman was in his study and his
wife was busy putting an infant
to sleep, SO Master Harold, aged sew
en-, went TO the door. On opening it
he found n couple, young and bash
full. After looking at the boy for
q moment the young man queried:
as the pastor at home:''
"Yes," said Harold. "Do You
want to get married"
"That's just what we're here fol"
replied the prospective bridegroom.
"Well, come right in, them" said
the boy, ushering them into the par
lor. "Ill tell papa and mamma
too. She'll be awful glad to see
you, for she gets all the marriage
money. l heard her tell pa this
mornin' that sM wished some folks
would come to get married soon
cause she wanted to buy new hat. :"
New York Press.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
AN EXCITED ANGLER.
He Lost His Head For Awhile, but FL
naIly Landed His Fish.

If there is any place requiring g
cool head it is when one is in a
light boat or canoe angling for heavy
fish in deep or swift water Undue
excitement has cost many life I'M
der such circumstances.
A curious example Of the outcome
Of undue. excitement has just been
related to me by a. friend-in fact,
the individual himself. f.
Unfortunately for my friend, al
though a man of thirty-fve years,
yet only once previous to this oc-
casion had he experienced the joys
of angling.
Business took him up near the
pine woods, and between trains, aft
er his business had been transacted,
he was invited by two of his Gus
toners to try the maskinonge. And
off they started, he throwing out his
lure and within few moments get
ting a vicious tug at his line which
bent his rod and set his reel screech-
ing. The tug on the line, the bend
ing of the rod and the screcching,
whirring reelwere too much for him,
and, giving spasmodic leap, he
cleared the boat and landed feet first
on the bottom of the lake, that was
covered with five feet of water,
holding fast meanwhile to the rod.
The cool water Gained his nerves at
once, and, being a six footer, he sim
ply elevated his chin and arms and
in his own fashion began to manip-
ulate the rod and reel. The fish be-
gan to leap and run. When he turn
ed his head toward the boat to ask
for advice as to the proper way to
handle the fish, no one was to be
seen in the boat. Both his friends
had just simply rolled off their seats
and were guffawing with laughter;
the only thing to be seen by MN
were two corncob pipes that his
friends had removed from their
mouths and held aloft while they
roared with amusement.
He landed the fish. / asked him
what it weighed. 1T was maski-
nonge," he replied, "and weighed
two and one-half pounds" Much
ado about nothing" exclaimed,
and l made up the third man who
heartily enjoyed the epiSode.-Cor.
Forest and Stream.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
SAW A CHANCE AT LAST.
But Jed Biundersd and Discovered His
Mistake Too Late.

1t had long been almost proverb
in the village that Jedediah Perkins
didn't know a chance when he saw
one" The public discussion of this
failing had often come to Uncle
Jed's ears and had sounded loudly in
them. Worst of all, he had to ad.
NIT that he was, in the language of
his neighbors, easy" He paid the
most for what he bought and got
the least for what he sold OF any
man within a dozen miles.
But Uncle Jed saw a chance at
last. A railway runs close to his
house, and in the middle of winter
during a tremendous snowstorm a
passenger train was stalled in the
cut through his south pasture and
was unable to 60 forward or back
After it had been there about half
a day Uncle Jed saw his chance.
There were hundred or two hun
CRY passengers eager to buy food.
He had large store of ham and
bacon. He would have Aunt Sarah
make it up into sandwiches, and
they would clear a small fortune.
$50 that's what We DONE" said
Uncle Jed, telling of it aftcrward.
owe made up every bit of ham in
the house into sandwiches, and |
took 'em down there and offered 'em
for sale for quarter apiece.
"Now ! cal'lated man g hungry
3 them folks would be willing to
pay quarter for a good, big home
made sandwich, but they held back.
They was plenty would pay dime.
| could "a sold out twicet over at a
dime each, but | only sold five at
quarter.
"Tll wait till they git hungrier,'
SIS |. / went outside and set on a
snow pile and watched them fellers
shoveling out that train. Seemed
to me they want like to git the
train out before next summer, so |
didn't hurry about going aboard
again with them sandwiches. Jes'
as made up my mind it was time,
though, along in front come one Of
them rotating whirligig plows they
sent up from the other way, and be-
fore you could say Jack Robinson
away went the train behind it
through the cut it made.
"Well, sir, as | sat there watching
that train hadn't gone more'n 200
yards before | see had made a
great mistake not to sell them sand
witches fer 10 cents. | see it plain
as could be. And I'm seeing it yet,
for Aunt Sarah and me has been
living on ham sandwiches fer three
weeks, and they amt half used up"
Companion.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
No Diner Cut.

Miss Graham gave the tramp
some food in response to his NOV
ing appeal, and stood at the kitchen
door to make sure that he ate the
bread and cold boiled potatoes and
did not throw one crumb away.
"You have very awkward way of
eating" she said severely, as the
knife she had lent him seemed to
vanish for a moment down the
mans throat and on its way back
to the light performed strange evo-
lutions.
"Yes, ma'am," said the tramp, as
he made another onslaught. on the
potato. "You see, I'm kind Of out
O. practice these days"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
How, Indecd7

Johnny's mother was the biggest
talker in the square, and Johnny
knew it. The other day the little
fellow went over to the home of his
best friend next door to play, in
spite of his mothers warning not
to leave the steps of his own home.
His father brought him home.
"John," he said, didn't YOU hear
your mother tell you to stay at home
this evening"
Johnny squirmed and then add
mitted:
"Yes, but she says so much! How
was l to know?"- Pittsburg Gazette.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14

Sunshine.
The air IL full of a witchery, silent. I'M
felt and unseen,
Yet It touches the black pine woods. and
they fash to a riot OF green.
1t brea thes on the difHdent birches. and,
10. they are dancing in white.
And 1t paints on the slopes Of the barren
fields picture OF delight.
/ do not know what the magic II. but
think have seen the same
In quiet life. transparent life, and the
world knows not her name:
But, herself unnoted. touch. breath.
where the sad and the sullen were.
And the dark IL light. and the gloom 10
bright. at the very thought Of her.
/ do not know what the magic La that
dwells In her quickening face.
No book have to the witchery that
wraps her around with grace.
But this / know. be 1t mirth or woe.
~ where her blessed feet have tfod
There widens out In the hearts of men
the beautiful peace Of God.
Amos r. Wells.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
Almost Called Him q Hog.

"The late Paul Joseph Blanc, the
French artist, studied in Rome in
his youth" said an American paint
er, "and he was noted in those days
for his turbulence.
"Blanc dined at a students cafe
one evening in Rome, and young
German who sat near him said:
at is easy enough to see, sir,
that you are Frenchman.'
"How SOP said Blanc, frowning.
"Bccause you eat SO much bread.
"Blanc did not like this. He re-
torted:
"Tt is easy to see that you are a
German
"Why:' asked the other.
Because said Blanc, you eat
so much of everything"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
Weaving the Web Of Fancy.

HE says that watch is an heir
loom in his family" observes the in
innate acquaintance to the bosom
friend.
Heirloom? Why, l saw him bay
the thing a little while ago." re-
marks the bosom friend.
"But he tells the most interestn
stories of how it has been handed
down from sire to son for years and
years"
"He does? An heirloom, Ell? It's
. hot air loom." -Chicago Tribune.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
Fraternal Orders.

Rock bridge Lodge, No. So. l. U: U: r.
meets every Thursday night. at ODD Eel
lows Hall.
Lexington Lodge, No. SO, X. Of r.
meets every Tuesday night, at ODD Eel
lows Hall.
Liberty Lodge. No, 2, Daughters o
Rebekah, meets every Monday night'at
Odd Fellows Hall.
Mountain City Lodge, No. ", Ancient
York Masons meets 1st and 5rd MOE
day nights at Masonic Hall
Natural Bridge Council, No, 1921 KoyaI
Arcanum. meets list and Srd Friday
nights in each month, at ODD Fellows
Hall.
Lee Jackson Council, No. 80, junior
Order American Mechanics, meets every
nd and 4th Friday nights, at ODD Fellows
Hall saf..
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
Mixed on His Birds.

"Mamma sent me after a pound
Of coffee, Mr.. Pelican"
"My name is not Pelican" said
the grocer as he weighed out the
coffee. "My name is Mr.. Crane.
What made you think is was Peli-
can ?"
DWELL, that's what papa calls you,
cause he says there's something
about your bill that always makes
him think of a pelican. Chicago
Record Herald.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
A Bookkeepinu Triumph.

"Now, dearest, just see," said Mrs.
Newlywed, "since l commenced
keeping our accounts we haven't
got nearly so many bills TO pay.
Now, see, You haven't got any butch
er's bill or milkman's bill to pay at
all this month"
"But, darling, we certainly had
plenty of meat and milk all the
time"
ayes, dearest" replied Mrs. New
lywed, "but bought them from the
grocer" -Phi!adelphia Ledger.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14

"Say, old man, | want to talk
business to you few minutes"
Certainly; 80 ahead
"Could you lend me $25 without
inconvenience?
eyes, think | could"
Thanks. I'll return it shortly"
"What security will you give?"
"Why-er-I-didn't think any
necessary"
ooh, probably misunderstood
you'll l thought you said you want
ed to talk business"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
Tho Tibot Roof Show.

It's a very slow, tiresome drama,
frequent waits and bitches, that is
going on this summer in the roof
garden Of the world. The only re-
deeming feature about it is that it
will probably end happily for both
British and Tibetans about the time
the tragedy that is playing in the
neighboring house has come to it,
Anish.-Boston Transcript.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
Touoh Eqos.

Mrs. Newliwed-I really must
complain OF those eggs you sold me
ON Wednesday. They were awful.
Farmer-Why, they were perfect
ly fresh, ma'am.
Mrs. Newliwed-They must have
been fresh, but they were frightfully
tough. / made an omelet Of them
for my husband and they were so
tough he couldn't eat them.-Phils-
delphia Press.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14
Vemont's Republican Majority

Vermont has been heralded as n
rolitical barometer and all sorts of
diagrams have been drawn show
ing that when the Republican
majority in Vermont rises or falls
it has indicated like increase or
falling off in the Republican vote
of the country at large, says the
Richmond Times-Dispatch. The
Republican papers generally stated
that if the Vermont majority went
above rs, 900 it would be such a
vote Of confidence In Republican
leaders and policy rs to practically
assure President Rocsevelt's re-
election in November.
If the Republican premises are
correct, then President Roosevelt
is as good as re elected. But tits
u long way from Vermont to the
White House, and the country at
large has not yet spoken. 1t is
hard to believe that President
Roose Set will not lose many voters
on whom he now depends. His
administration has been extrava-
CANT, his own personality has been
nnwarrantably obtrusive, his whole
party is suffering frcm the big
head, ana the country st large,
though it may have been caught
by the temporary glitter of his
sensational strenuosi:y, does not
admire or tie to his manners or
methods. At the bottom, it is a
campaign for or against Mr.. Roose-
welt as an issue, and he does not
appear to be gaining many friends
as the day for election approaches.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-14

Mr.. B. j. Shannon, until last
July editor of the Harrisonburg
News, was found dead in his room
in Harrisonburg last Tuesday. He
had been in bad health during the
early summer, and his death was
caused by an overdose of morphine,
taken to relieve pain. Mr.Shannon
was As years old. He was native
of Iowa.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1904-04-26
King George School Closing

King George Co., Va, April 2lst, 1904
Among the very pleasant school enter
tainments 10 King George this month,
none has been more successful and enjoy
able in every way than that given on
Tuesday of this week by Miss Nanni- 5.
Rogers, at the closing of her school. No
5. She had spared no effort to make the
occasion pleasant for all who attended
and the children showed the fine training
they had received.
The following program was carried
out in a manner that did credit 70 the
participants, and between each recita-
ton was some fine phonograph music
rendered by the courtesy OF Mr.. f. p
Cirigsby on his instrument, that gave de-
light 10 all who were present:
Recitation, What do the Blossoms Say ?
Maggie Eodsor.
Dialogue, Red Riding Hood. Minnie
Mason. Cora Sorrell, Lola PrytOn and
Blanche jenkins
Recitation, Suppose, Josie Farmer
The Way TO Speak Piece, Emma pey-
ton.
Dialogue. Almost q Runaway, Ella
Mason and Cecil BilIingsley
Recitation, Content IOurstlf and r st.
Lena PeytOn
Lazy Dsisie, Daisy Farmer.
Singing by seven little girls.
Recitation, Lost Tommie, Jeanette
PeytOn.
Wreath OF FiOwers.by seven little girls.
Dialogue. Playing Grown Up, Flussie
Harris and Burnley Farmer.
Recitation, How Cyrus Laid Oh Cable,
Cora Sorrell.
Farewell 10 The Birds, Burnley Farmer.
Dialogue. Three Little Mothers, Josie
Farmer, Jeanette and Lena PeytOn.
Recitation, A Little Girls Troub -,
Epls Mason.
A Modern Public School, Minnie Mason.
Dialogue. Blue Eyes and Brown Eyes,
Eu,a Mason, Emma PeytOn and Alice
McCarty.
Recitation, The Moon and The Chill I.
SaIlie Farmer
Recitation. Jefferson Mason.
Dialogue, Last Day oi School, Lizz'e
sorreI. Edna PeytOn, Cecil B llingsIey
and Daisy Farmer.
Singing by the school, Vaeati Time
il Here
AT the cloee Of these exercises reire b
ments were served % the visitors an
pupils. and much enjoyed By all re t.
The teacher Of this school dsserv higt'
eat praise for the admirable manner in
which she has taught and eontr' ed &C
large a number Of children. at the same
time gaining their love and eonflce zee
This is one Of the largest schools In the
county. AID the attendance has been ex
eellent the entire session, which wa
most encouraging to teacher and pupils
for all iesl that they did their beet, and
10 return received the best.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1904-04-26
Healthy Mothers.

Mothers should always keep in good
bodily health. They owe il 10 their
children. Yet il is no unusual sight 20
see mother. with babe in arms, cough
ing violently and exhibiting all the
symptoms OF a cOnsumptiye tendency.
And why should this dangerous con
dition exist, dangerous alike to moth.
er and child, when DR.. Bosehee's Ger
man Syrup would put a stop 10 il at
once No mother should be with
out this old and tried remedy in the
house-for its timely use will prompt
ly cure any lung, throat or bronchial
trouble in herself or her children.
The worst cough or cold can be
speedily cured by German Syrup; SO
can hoarseness and congestion of the
bronchial tubes. 1t makes expecto-
ration easy and gives instant relief
and refreshing rest 10 the cough
raeked eonsumptive. New trial bot
ties, %: large size, 1jc. At all drug
gists.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1904-04-26
HYoMEl'S SUCCESS IN FRED
ERiCkSBURG
Cured Many Serious Cases of Ca
tsrrh-h. N. Goelriek viii Refund
Money " Il Fails.

No other medicine or treatment for
catarrh has ever achieved such quick
aud remarkable success in Fredericks-
burg As HyomeL The fact that h. "
GOOlriek, when he lirst introduced
Hyomei, sold IL under a positive guar
antee 10 refund the money IN case II
did not cure. contributed largely "a
its successful Introduction. A guaran-
tee from a firm like jOOlrick's Modern
Pharmacy gave people confidence AT
the start.
IL it had not possessed unusual
merit, an offer like this would have
resulted IN an enormous loss. But
curing as it did, Hyomei soon gained
an enviable reputation and made
many friends who recommend il far
and near. Its success here in Freder-
icksburg has been remarkable, and
X y. Goolrick is still selling il on his
personal guarantee 10 refund the
money in case il does not give salts
faction. IL
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1904-04-26
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury,

as mercury wild surely destroy the
sense Of smell and completely derange
the whole system when entering 1t
through the mucous surfaces. Such
articles should never be used except
on prescriptions from reputable phy-
siciaus, as the damage they will do is
ten fold 10 the good you can possibly
derive from them. Halls Catarrh
Cure, manufactured by (. J. Cheney
4 Co Toledo, g., contains no Iner-
curry, and is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces OF the system, In buying
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get
the genuine 1t is taken internally
and made in Toledo, Ohio, by +. j..
Cheney & Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists. Price, 7Jc per
bottle.
Take Halls Family Pills for con
stipation.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1904-04-26
Are You q Dyspeptic7

II you are dyspeptic you owe it
10 Yourself and your friends to get
well. Dyspepsia annoys the dyspep-
ties friends because his disease sOurs
his disposition as we'll as his stomach.
Kodol Dyspepsia Cure will not only
cure dyspepsia, indigestion and sour
stonach-this palatabIe, reeonstrue-
tive tonic digestant strengthens the
whole digestive apparatus, and
sweetens the life as well as the stOm-
aeh. When you take Kodol Dys-
pepsia Cure the food you eat is en-
loved. /. is digested, assimilated and
its nutrient properties appropriated
by the blood and tissues. Health Is
the result. Sold by ID. c. Bowman.
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1904-04-26
ROCK SPRING.
Descriptive OF One of the Oldest
Homes in Caroline County IL Was
Built t765.

Built in t765.
Oi all the spots that love best
l. where my heart may he al rest.
And each heart whose every tone
Beats responsive to my own.
| love thee thou dear spot on earth.
NO words from me can tell thy worth,
Nor ran thy scenes, enraptured be
Banished from my memory
love thee with elevation high
OrrloOking the dear MattapOui.
Whose murmuring waters, dashing on.
Remind me Of the days now gone
When 10 boy hood = social glee
| rOamed its banks with soul 80 free.
lis here lind the social ties
That waken the chord now, slumbering
lies:
lis pleasant TO recall the hours
When. mid sunshine aud mid iiOwere,
Our hearts did 10 one current seem
Mingled together in one sweet str, am
All. when ! gaze upon that face,
still those llneamente can trace,
Tho time upon whose iurrOwed brow
Shows that girihOOd's departed now,
And tho her dsys Of youth are gone,
May heaven smile her heart above;
And. living, may she z er be blessed,
And may her last days be her best.
And may her children, in liie's spring,
Linger long and joyous sing
Tho thy trees Of leaves are bars.
OF foliage that makes thee doubly rare,
And tho the birds have ceased 20 sing.
They will greet " again next spring.
Yet the stream is.murmufing stiu,
From the poplar beneath the bill.
WhOse water. so refreshing, clear.
III ever hold 10 memory dear
The stately beech. on the sloping hill
l. standing where left II still.
And its trunk all Is carved DER
With names of those We II sre no more.
Beneath thy roof Uft have been
With that dear friend my violin.
Whose voice was subject to my will
May it, notes there linger still
To whisper 10 life's midnight blast.
And cause again the smile that's past,
Or call 20 mind some word then spoken
Remembered a. a farewell token
". J BATES.
Whites, Va. Arpi 22nd. 1904
The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1904-04-26
FLESH FORMING FOOD NEEDED
Druggist X. NJ. GooIriek Says Hail Of
Frsderieksburs Ought to Use Mi

Il DO not think, said Druggist K.
y. Goolrick TO a reporter for this pa
per, that / AIN making too strong a
statement when | say that fully half
Of the people OF Fredericksburg ought
to use Mi-o-na, the flesh forming food.
| do not mean by that, he continued,
that 80 per cent. of the people are
thin and serawny, but | believe that
every other person is troubled with
weak stomach or does not get proper
nourishment from daily food. | have
sold great deal of Mi-o-na. Ii is the
only true and natural way TO gain
freedom from stomach troubles. /
have such faith in il that with every
package | sell. | give a guarantee TO
refund the money If il does not give
perfect satisfaction. The thin and
sick who buy Mi-o-na take no risk
whatever. If it does not give the de-
sired health, will refund the money
without question or argument. 10