Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1904-08-06


onight.--Puck.
Brown-Is Smith the boss over az
his house2 Jones-Mrs Smith SAYS he
isn't, but take notice he picks out all
the new wall paper.-Cincinnati Trlb.
une.
Mr.. Tim Idity--Is your chauffeur a
safe man to ride with? Mr.. Knots
Slowe-Why, certainly No policeman
has succeeded in catching him yet
Town Topics
Mrs. Chugwater-Josiah, where is
there such thing as laundry trust7
Mr.. Chugwater-Where? What do
you suppose the Flatiron Building in
New York Is for?
Arthur, dear, don't you think It's
rather extravagant of you to eat butter
with that delicious jam?" mo, love;
economical. Same piece OF bread does
for both. Tit Bits.
Magistrate (sternly)-Didnt | tell
you the last time you were here never
wanted you to come before me again1
Prisoner-Yes, sir, but | couldn't make
the policeman believe it-New Yorker
Are you at all familiar with
| Plato" asked Mrs Oldcastle. mo,
that's one thing Josiah always blames
me for. He says | never make real
close friends with anybody. "-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
After a more severe reproof than
usual, little Bessie, who is extraordln-
arily sensitive, thought diligently for
minute, and then said: Mamma isn't
there any way child can get d.
yorce from Its parentsT'
"Some scientists" began Mr. Gay,
significantly, consider kissing danger
Gus. DO your" We'll" replied Miss
Smart, II think 1t would be for you.
My big brother Is within call."-Ex.
| change.
when young fellers begins a-court-
| in" said Farmer Haicede, they jest
gifts crazy, an tibet thar boy Jim o.
mine amt no exception" whats Jim
bin a-doin'T" asked Farmer Soanreep.
Hanged II he didn't go inter town
yesterd'y an spend hull sixpence fur
a teethbrushw
Yes" said the boarding school
teacher, II think that Is q model letter
for you to write your fance. But Of
course you will copy 1t, leaving out
those numerous spacesp" "Oh, dear,
} nor replied the girl. "Those are for
dearest l have 1t on rubber
} stamp"-Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Phoxy-I was going to ask you
to try this little trick. Multiply the
years of your age by three. subtract
twenty-one from the total and what's
the answer? Miss Kute-You should
be able to guess the answer at once.
Mr.. Phoxy-What Is it, Miss Kute--
| None of your business. -Philadelphia
! Press.
The honest man Ito thea ter door ten
der)-I see that you have signs in the
lobby saying that tickets bought OF
spectators will not be accepted. Now,
| want to inform you that | bought
my ticket OF a speculator. Door Ten
der with a sickly smile)-Say, you re-
| formers give me a pain in the solar
plexus! G'wan in!-Exchange.
Edgar had been asked to write a
composition about the camel. This is
what he evolved: 1.-THE camel has four
stomachs, and can go four weeks with.
out feeding them, remembering the
week by counting the stomach he hap
pens to be using at the time; and so,
| coming In out Of the field once n
month, as regular as a clock, for his
breakfast, which Is mostly water"
They had been talking as they
walked She had remarked paren
thetically: "Oh, it must be terrible to
a man to be rejected by woman"
Indeed it must" was his response.
Then after a while, with sympathetic
dlsingenuousness, she exclaimed: II
don't think that | could ever have the
heart to do it." And there came q
silence between them as he thought II
over.-Tit-B Bits.
In a small village In Yorkshire an
| old laborer once went into a neigh
| boris cottage. In the corner of the
| little kitchen stood a grandfather
clock, on the dial of which was the
customary figure OF an old man holding
a scythe, and above was the time-worn
inscription, "Tempus fugit" Looking
wisely up at the clock. the old man
said to the owner: AYE, tempua
| fugit! Same man as made ours, seer
Tit Bits.
General "Phil' Sheridan was at one