West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-07-21
ALDERMAN DOWSER.
He Goes Into Politics Again But Gets
Laid Out in the First Round.


himself erect. looked down upon her in a
patrouixing way. and she was kept on the
ragged edge full half hour before he CON
descended TO explain:
No, my dear woman. have not been in
yestine In lottery tickets. It's simply that
the political theories have always held
are soon TO bear political fruit"
Il didn't know you ever had any" she
somewhat biuntly replied
Perhaps not. 1t is not necessary for a
husband to sit down and tell his wife every
thing Nevertheless. I have had some
theories. Heretofore they have been rather
In advance Of the people. but the q ople
are now going TO catch up
"ln other words. you are going to fuss
around with politics again"
Your Language is very ambiguous,
madam. :" he s,ifiiy replied Il do not uu-
derstand what YOU mean by mssing with
politics"
why yorhave gone into politics three
or four times, and had lot OF red noscd
loasers hanging around and-and-
That will do. Mrs Bowser. There is
no call to discuss this subject especially
as your animus is so apparent"
But we will discuss it," she persisted.
Last year you heard the people calling on
you TO rise and help them throw of the
yoke OF tyranny. or some such nonsense.
and you let them make guy of you to the
amount of at least $50. When they could
get no more cash out OF you for beer they
dropped you with thud
"You--you say that to me. do your,
gasped MIR Bowser AS his face turned al
most purple aud his ewes hung out.
Certainly do Do you remember In
what condition you came home the last
nighf-you were out2"
Woman. no man on the face OF this earth
would dare TO talk to me as you havel II
IS true that the people called upon me last
year to lead them. aud Il is true that
that
THAT you did not lead them
= That was ready to. but for the sake OF
harmony in the party drew back aud de.
cided 10 wait ill another campaign How
dare you assert that was,dropped with
thudl"
II may have been crash instead OF a
thud, She answered: "but you suddenly
went out Of politics"
II deny IL. woman-I deny mr.
Aud when you came home that night
your hat was broken, your coat torn up the
back and somebody had skinned your
nose. Added to this. you called yourself
Mr. Bowsher, aud wanted TO go to bed on
the doorstep
And she is talking that way to me-to
me, whispered Mr.. Bowscr TO himself. as
he sat and stared at her.
And the dear people have become thirs-
ty Tor beer again. and are calling on you to
rise once morel' she continued. after
moment Just give EN- 10 understand
that there is nothing bat cold water ahead
OF ftl.em. and see how soon they'II stop call.
Ing
She's king to me-Io met he ex-
claimed as hc struck himself on the leg to
see II he had turned to stone
"Yon speak about your political theories
and about their being ahead OF the people
You havn't got any. and IL you had thous.
and the people wouldn't want them You
don't care shucks about voting. and no one
has ever heard you talk politics for 6vs
minutes. Don't let them make Guy OF
you again. MI Bowser
a guy OF mel" he repeated as he rose
up in all his majority. Woman. beware
One more insult will drive the TO the dead.
line. This may not technically be called
your fifteenth attempt 10 assassinate me in
my own house. but all the malcvolence and
malignity are there jost the same. came
home here expecting a delegation from the
Union Preserving ard Reformation club 20
walt upon me at haifpast o'clock and
teuder me the nomination OF Alderman OF
this ward. and you-you maiign my theories,
Insult my principles and seek ia cover my
character as patriot with isuominy. BY
Joseph. won't stand i'll won q stand iti''
For the FIRST time IN yeas the Bowser cat
lost good thing. lie was out on she back.
yard fence acting as referee az scrap be.
tween yellow and black cat. both heavy
weights. and amidst the feline excitement
he entirely forgot home sfaiS
About your pet theories" said Airs.
Bowser as lac stamped to and fro. please
let me hear what they are
''Not one word be siernly replied
Have you been Looking Forward Look.
ing Backward or Looking Seven Ways lot
oUmi'
And 50 the people want leader and
are calling WHO are they. SIR. Bow err
Please name five or six Of the mos, promi.
nent"
Not name. woman-not q namef ftis
now close 10 The hour when / expect the
delegation aud perhaps on viii do ME the
favor 70 withdraw to your room. Let me
say 10 you in the same breath that dis sub
jet need never be opened between as
again -
That means you are going into politics
again
Il shall lead the people madam.
"fo what-io whai---" She wanted 10
ask TO what saloon but she falfercd over
il and he said
~ shall lead them 10 victory through
higher ana noblcr paths. and tic day will
come when you--"
But 3 ring at The bell cut him shofi. aud
while he went to open the door iu person
Mrs Bowser skipped upstairs Enter ,bs
delegation. Very shiny silk hsts-vcry
shiny noses scry mellow condition They
numbered three. and sll three threw n,em.
selves apon Mr. Bowser at once add re-.
specnyels cried out.
"Ah old mani"
Its old Bower himself'"
shake old pardi"
Mr.. Bowser didn't like 10 biz. bot b, "a
great effort ho worked ab aoor walk sf
smile and rubbed bis hands and said 6, was
a 6ne evening
You hei' answered tho chairman Of
the delegation as De gave him = slap 90 ibo
back Say Bowser sou sly old dog. we
are going 90 elect you by clean
1000 maioriiy
"Clean 600
Clean 900