The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1904-02-17
WASHINGTON CHITCHAT
Secretary Taft's Generous Build
Requires Larger Furniture.

Joke by Pension Commissioners
Ware-Representati Benny's New
Scheme to Bring the House to
Order.
Secretary William II. Taft's first Off
cial act the other day was to summon
the war department carpenter and tell
him to make a new desk and chair and
be quick about it, says the Washing
ton correspondent Of the New York
World.
Secretary Taft is six feet tall and
weighs 800 pounds. He found he could
barely squeeze into the chair used by
Mr.. Root. He could not sit comfort
ably In it, and there was great danger
that the chair would go to pieces I'M
der him If he moved quickly.
When he tried to get up to the desk,
be discovered that the opening was nei-
Their wide enough nor high enough to
admit his legs. The best he could do
was to pull out one Of the small leaves
Of the desk and try to write on that
The desk and chair that will be built
for the new secretary will be of mann
moth proportions. The chair will be
very strong and will be braced with
iron at every joint. It is probable that
Il special chair Will have to be provid-
ed for Secretary Taft in the cabinet
room at the White House. The cabi-
net chairs are very large, as ordinary
sizes go, but they are a tight fit for
Mr.. Taft.
In the White House mail the other
day a letter was received from Kan
sas which asked for 50 many kinds OF
things that Secretary Loeb did not at
tempt to read it, says a Washington
dispatch to the Kansas City Star. The
letter was from a woman who de-
clared she was a soldiers widow and
was in trouble about her pension. Aft
er detailing her various mlsfortunes
she informed the president that II he
had any old clothes they would be
most acceptable and asked him to for
ward them to her as soon as he could
"get around to it." Secretary Loeb
knew that all pension matters should
go to the pension commissioner, MIR.
Ware, and forwarded the letter forth
with to that bureau. In the mail the
other morning the presidents secre-
tary received a letter which read:
My Dear Mr.. Secretary-This letter does
not belong in this bureau. We have none
of the presidents old clothes on file. 1
suggest that you go over the presidential
wardrobe and send this good woman
something. 1 would not send her the
presidents shoes. Mr.. Hanna wants
them. Yours truly,
EUGENE F. WARE.
Representative Allan Benny, the New
Jersey Democrat who has blossomed
out as William J. Bryans champion, is
the inventor of a new scheme to bring
the obstreperous house to order, says
the Washington Post. He was starting
off energetically with his speech, pay
ing respects to Mr.. Boutell of Chicago
for saying that the Democrats in the
last two presidential campaigns had
"groyeled before Il silver image and
worn out the knees of their intellectual
trousers" But there was so much
confusion Mr.. Benny could hardly hear
his own voice.
"Mr. Chairman" he shouted above
the tumult, "if there can be no better
order in the house than there is, may |
have unanimous consent to sing the
rest of mine instead of speaking itY'
This aroused such laughter as to as
sure Mr.. Benny an audience, but the
laughter was increased by the retort of
a Republican member Mr.. Palmer Of
Pennsylvania, who observed, "All
right, sing it,
Mr. Benny allowed that he was
"such a powerful poor singer he did
not have the heart to infict himself in
that way even upon his Republican
friend and continued his speech in the
manner prescribed by the custom of
the last century.
Archie Roosevelt, one of the preSi-
dents promising sons, has a rubber PTS
tol with a bulb in the handle that
holds nearly a pint of water. The boy
likes to use the gun, and his principal
victim is Arthur Simmons, Secretary
Loeb's doorkeeper at the White House.
says the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Simmons inadvertently took a nap at
his post recently, and Archie awakened
him by thrusting the end of the weap-
on against the doorkeeper's nose.
Throw up your hands," shouted the
boy.
Simmons opened his eyes, jumped
back as he saw the gun, and his arms
went up In a fash. Then Archie
pressed the bulb, and Simmons gasped
and gurgled as the stream of water
blinded and choked him.
II fixed himr' gleefully shouted the
boy as he danced around the room to
the establishment of several dignifed
men who came in just in time to see
Simmons flooded.