Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-09-16

epill ana piled Tor the peruSal ana pastlme OF
pald-up subscribers, also for those who beg, bor-
row and steal the STANDARD in order that they
may enjoy little sunshine as they journey
through the vale of tears.)
A black rose-a negrose.
Minerva was a spinster, but she was
also the Goddess of Wisdom.
Dowie had better cease the "laying
on OF hands' before someone hurls Il
boot at him.
Nichols is the Republican candidate
for Secretary OF State. It's pennies he
isn't elected.
1t is safe to say that fifty per cent.
of stylish vehicles seen upon streets
are not paid for.
After November Sth Roosevelt can
devote his time to wondering how it
was accomplished.
There are some saloon keepers who
should be in the pulpit, and there are
ministers who should be in the saloon
business.
The highly embossed card is no sure
sign that the bed-bugs have gone north
from the room you will be assigned at
the hotel.
A vase 1000 years old has been
found in the remains OF an ancient
kiln in England. This is an old para
graph, too.
If the wages of sin is death, why has
the Lord permitted the devil to do
about as he pleases for the past six
thousand years?
Judge Parker keeps his mouth
closed, thus preventing the showing OF
his teeth, which is more than can be
said OF Teddy"
Every college boy likes to be ad-
dressed as "old man." and members OF
the baldheaded row always love to be
called "my boy"
Ii some married men we're as at
tentive to their wives as to other
peoples wives this would be q much
better world to live in.
The worst crank on earth, as a rule,
is the former gambler or drunkard,
who for a number of years past has
rode on the reform wagon.
Map-sellers in Seattle say that the
course of war in the Far East is no!
very satisfactory to them, judging
from their restricted sales.
People on bitter, cold day, have as
much right to eat ice-cream, as others
prefer brandy on an extreme hot day.
It's only matter OF taste.
Lillian Russell, the actress, is airing
her views on happiness in marriage.
Lillian ought to know as she has
new husband about every year.
The "Black Cat" is the name OF a
refreshment parlor in Bremerton. 1t
is to be hoped that no one will start
lunch stand called the White Dog"
When we see life insurance agent
all week peddling hot-air to supposed
victim, then meet him on Sunday
with Bible in hand, we really do won.
der if there is God.
John T. Stinson, director OF POM
ology at the st. Louis Fair, says that
an apple diet will cure low morals OF
every kind. 1t didn't seem to cure
Adam and Eve anyway.
We are sorry when we see the per-
son with a travelling hand-grip. He
surely has passed the gauntlet of no.
tel runners and hackmen. Yes, we
really look at him with pity.
No talkless machine has been in
vented to shave a person, as yet.
There are human machines that do
try to shave fellow, but it's very
painful for the poor devil in the chair.
While Los Angeles boasts OF her
tremendous sales OF parasols, Seattle
merchants dispose of 90 many UNI
brellas that it is impossible for them
to keep track OF the sales. There
now!
1t certainly makes us mad-yes,
good and mad-to have barber bald
as billiard ball, try to sell us bottle
OF his own dope to make hair grow.
Wouldn't his econ" talk make you
mad?
King Edwards double-creased trous-
ers might be a boon to the man with
thin or misshapen legs, but the
thoughts OF the fat gentleman, as he
surveys his elephantine pillars, will be
very close to lese majestic"
We have about come to the con-
clusion that all women have second
sight. We have noticed every time
one woman passes another on the
street they both turn to get second
sight OF what the other has on.
While the up-to-date dressers wear
Panama hats, that have many admir-.
ers, it is only right to mention the
fact that the old fellow in Seattle,
known as the man with the sum
brella hat" attracts the most attention
from passers-by.
An Olympia woman is mad. She
says that o certain married woman
never comes to see her, only Friday
NIGHTS. and that this is the night the