The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1904-04-29
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Dyer-Miss Ferris is 80 years old
Would you think itf Duell-Not out
loud.
She-Would you be willing to die
for me?" He-Why. I'm dying for
you HOMETOWN and Country.
Bank Examiner-Where is the cash.
Ter? Gone to take a rest? President
No. he's gone to avoid arrest.-Bos-
ton Globe.
Kitty-Constance has been painted
by Mr.. Gamborge. She is delighted
with it. Maude-I see; it is a picture
rather than a portrait.-Boston Tran
script.
Miss Summit-How that young Mon
roe girl has improved! Miss Palisade
Hasn't she? Why, / can remember
when she was such a modest little
thing.-Ex.
The Slayer: isn't it hard to lose
your daughter?' mo, not this one; l
could have married her off a year ago.
1t is her older sister that's hard to
@Of'N. 1tOdolOAl l. Ooe-
Schoolmistress- Johnnie, who was It
that prompted you then? heard some
one whisper that date to you. Johnnie
Please, ma'am, expect it was his
tory repeatin' itself again.
Thinne-Oh, wish had your voice!
Thickke-No doubt you would enjoy
using it. Thinne-No, faint that; but
l was thinking If it were mine l could
stop it when 1 liked.-Tit Bits.
Undisputed: "Have taxpayers no
rights?" demanded the imprisoned or
ator. Certainly" replied a man in
the back row; they have the right to
pay taxes" detroit Free Press.
"Do you think, then, that men de-
scended from chimpanzees?" asked
Willie Washington. "Some did," an
swered Miss Cayenne, "and some mere
ly remained stationary Washington
Star.
Hannigan-Sure, these scales is no
good at all fur me. They only weigh
up to two hundred pounds, an Oi'm
near to two hundred and fifty. Elan
nigan-Well, man alive, can't We git
on thin twice?
A Soft Heart: Freddy-Boo-hoo
Sissy's gone and killed that little fly
on the window" Mother-I'm glad to
see my little Freddy is so tender-heart-
ed. Freddy-It isn't that. w-wanted
to k-kill it myself.-Pick-Me-
"And what did you say" asked the
caller, when he told you that your
pie wasn't like the pie his mother used
to make" "Well," replied the hostess,
with toss of her head, II made few
remarks like my mother used to
make."-Syracuse Herald.
''Huh" grumbled Mr.. Skinnay. who
was being uncomfortably crowded by
the jolly looking fat man III the trolley
car, these cars should charge by
weight" think SOP" replied the fat
man; "then they wouldn't think 1t
worth while to stop for you" -PhSa.
delphia Public Ledger.
A countryman and his son put up
at city hotel. Son out seeing the
town. Old gent comes down from his
room at midnight and says to the night
clerk: HAS my son come in yet? ~
Night Clerk-Guess not. Haven't seen
him. Old Gent-Well, you needn't set
up for him any longer.
The woman was doing her shipping
The counter jumper handed her a pack.
age, and she slowly turned away. do
need anything else?" she absent
mindedly asked. You have lust
bought some lawn" ventured the
clerk; don't you think you will need
some DISQUALIFICATION Tiger.
Strong on Etiquette: Bill-Oh, yes,
he's great on etiquette. Jill-Is that
right? Bill-Sure! Why, he was tell
ing me only yesterday that if a man
is smoking while walking down the
street with lady. the cigar should al.
ways be in the side of the mouth fur
thest removed from the lady!-Boston
Transcript.
An Accommodating Cook: Mrs. A Cat
the 'phone)-Wait a minute till ask
Bridget. If she has no objections III
be delighted to lunch with you to-mor.
row. "a moment later: oh, hello! Mrs
B., yes, l can. Bridget says | can
Isn't it lovely? Thanks, ever so much
Good by. Mrs. B. (soiloquizing envi
ously)-What wouldn't l give for a
cook like that!-Detroit Free Press.
"Never heard what broke up their
friendship? Dear mel l thought ev.