The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-04-24

The nobien1an is Lord Wykeham. who
retires 10 q little village near London
to find rest from the city's turmoil,
and as a physicians assistant poses as
DIR. Lee The physician has a pretty
niece, and there you are. The compli-
cations begin right at that point Or
course DIR. Lee falls In love with her
without knowing that she has prom
ised to marry his scalawag of a young
er brother, who has been posing as
Lord Wykeham.
There is a meeting In London. where
the wicked younger brother has his sins
shown UP in a lurid light, and the real
lord, after recovering from his anRze-
ment and chagrin. takes the burden of
evil upon his own shoulders and makes
a sacrifice of himself before the altar
OF the girls love.
All of which seems a little foolish on
his part-but wait. In the last act the
wicked younger brother confesses and
wipes the stigma off the real lords
character With this clean bill of NOR
ais the girl. being thoroughly feminine.
changes the object of her affections
and rushes 10 his arms She is bound
10 get a lord any way the game comes
out.
George Gibbs Mansfield is the author OF
another qUip. George is becoming quite a
lad these days and as he accumuiate s az
and wisdom he is said to suggest most
forciblv the same degree of positiveness
that keeps Father Mansfield in the public
One morning recently the actor felt in
disposed and did not rise at the usual
hour. Later the doctor was summoned
This alarmed the youngster and he tip
toed into his fathers room. After survey
ing the bed for a moment with a solemn
cOuRtenanCe he said: Papa. are you
siek?''
Just a little
But you've sert for the doctor" per
oh. yes; but it's nothing. I'll soon be
all right.
Well. I don't know about that. papa.
Don't you think we'd better get tanned
nurse2'
Richard lie Gallie.re. the author con-
siders the English girl as somewhat pom
porous and frequently uuaUJraCtive And
he has never hesitated in preferring her
American sister in all matters artistic.
one occasion, at which he was called upon
I for an explanation Of his reasons for Ghis
II was walking down al English lane
with an English girl on an August after
noon. The sun shone through a soft
haze. and in the green fields many white
lambs played.
e is II any wonder said. that poets
from time immemorial have made the
lamb the emblem of innocence?
The young girl smiled radantly.
Lambs she said, are indeed delight
ful animals, especially with mint sauce"
A veritable snarI Of street urchins took
possession Of several benches in Lincoln
park Chicago. one afternoon last sum-
1ner and commented on the various traps
and automobiles that sped by.
Their attention was suddenly switched
from a four-in-hand on which they had
bestowed some scathiug comments to
the automobile of Samuel Randolph Os-
borne that was wheeling along slowly.
In the automobile, which was hardly big
enough TO seat two medium sized per-
sons comfortably, were stout man and
a still stOuter woman The aluminium
tax on the rear axle bore the initials OF
the owner. IS p. o."
The youngsters on the benches had
given a variety of opinions as 10 the
meaning of the letters, when one shriH
voice piped out:
THE whole bunch of youse is off the
track. ] know what those letters mean.
That fat guy and his lady amt got
room enough for themselves. so they
hung out that sign in case their friends
standing room only I seen it in front
Of McYiezer's."
An Englishman was talking with Jack
Flaherty. manager of the Majestic the
atre. about a proposed visit TO Chi
Il want to see the stockyards. You
know said the Englishman- 7 am ted,
Hshments there they save everything
/ about the pig but the sQueaL'
They save the squeal now said Mr..
Save the squeaI?' echoed the English
man Absurd What could they do with
/ the squeal2'
They use it in making monographs"
Naturally there are many Dan DAILY an
ecdOtes being told these days. One is BY
William Jerome. the writer Of popular
songs, many of whose efforts were intro
duced by the long comedian. Said Jerome
the other day;
Il was the only song writer who could
ever induce Dan TO try new song or at
tempt Interpolation This I attribute
more TO nv familiarity with his diSpOSi-
ton than to the merits of the songs. for
] many other good songs were suggested
/ to him, only to be rejected.
1T was my method TO approach Dan
/ with n new number and say: I've got a
l new song here. and / guess II must be
/ rotten, for l can't get anybody 10 sing
-' Let me see it. replied Daily. After
humming It over, he would say: I don't
! =" Wen would say. -Bulger. Cav
4 They say they would be missed off the
= stage If they used it; nothing in it
: Let me have it, DAILY was sure to re-
! ply. 'Pil sing it
! The trick never failed
! Nine. Schumann-H eink is broad
/ minded as we'll as broad shouldered
ana famOusly patriotic AS well. She
/ likes America and American customs
and she never avoids an opportunity
| to say so. But there is one growing
/ industry" in our land of her dollars
! that she does object to. She cannot
| understand marriages for money or
; for title. A characteristic reference by
! the madame to. this condition of affairs
/ is frequently repeated in musical cir
/ cleS.
| An acquaintance married 4 member
/ of the profession
Was there any sentiment in it?'
mo. madame. I understand not"
! observed a mutual friend
well, what did she do such a rash
/ thing fOr?"
/ She got what she's been wishing FOR
all her life. He made her a lady" The
/ friend eyed the singer subtly.
All 1 hadn't thought Of that. He
/ has truly accomplished much,'