davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Events have not justified the proph-
ecy Of those who said few years ago
that bicycle riding was merely a fad,
and would soon lose its popularity.
1t was the fad Of a few, to be sure,
but the bicycle has proved itself so
useful that it has been adopted as a
business vehicle in the city as well as
In the country. Last year more than
SIX hundred thousand bicycles were
sold In the United States; and in
France more than twice as many bicy-
clss were ridden as in 1898.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
FISHES THAT FLY FOR LIFE.

Interestinx Scenes While VoyaxinE In
the Gulf of Mexico.
"Watching the flying fish in the Gulf
of Mexico is one Of the favorite pas
times of persons who make the voyage
across the Gulf for the first time," said
an observant man, land the habit Is
not an uninteresting one, for there Is
much to be learned, much that Is new
and attractive to the stranger. There
is something particularly fascinating
about the flying fish in the Gulf of
Mexico.
During the trip recently we ran
into great schools Of them between
here and Vera Cruz and it was diff
were simply making sport Of the big
vessel that was blowing through the
blue waters Of the Gulf. They would
dart across the bow of the ship, scam
per this way and that, and seemed to
be In a playful mood all the while.
They looked like animated sprays,
mere flashes and splashes Of water;
now taking this form, now that, now
shooting along with the course Of the
ship; now bounding out from the ves-
sells side, and all the while apparently
conscious Of the fact that men and
women were watching them. They
seemed to take somewhat Of pleasure
from the enjoyment Of the human be-
ingA But, Of course, they were busy
with other problems. It was not q
pleasant business either. It was q
matter Of life and death with them.
They were being pursued by their enc
mics. The only way they could escape
was by leaving the water for q while.
The enemy has not learned this little
trick Of flying, and consequently could
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Nouuexotiable.

Nonne10tiab BILE.
"Dis is fine paper" said Meander-
ing Mike; '.it says dat de difficulty is
not so much in perducin' value as in
gittin' 1t to de best market"
whats dat to your" said Plodding
Pete.
"It describes my trouble percisely.
I've got an appetite dat some o. desc
rich folks would give million dol
lars fur. An what good is it?"-
Washington Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15


consists of the
passing through the handle
mutt the screw to We
In
To
direction.
Of
the emeator of dropping
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
II In Tfme TO Omit.

It Is time to quit the grumbling,
Time to take a hopeful view,
Time to drop the foolish notion
That the world is all askew;
There are lots Of blessings yet
That the world is booked to get,
And the good Lord in his mercy's saw
ing some of them for you.
1t is time to quit the signing,
Time to look up with smile,
For the good old worlds revolving
In the same old steady style;
Wicked people day by day
Close their eyes and pass away,
And there won't be any left here but
the righteous, after awhile.
It Is time to quit the fretting
Over trihes that go wrong;
Think of all the joys you're getting,
All the blessings, right along;
Don't sit down disheartened, sad,
Over small rebuffs you've had,
Fortune tries our spirits often, just to
make them good and strong.
1t Is time to quit believing
That there's nothing left to do
For the ones who'd be achieving;
Every day brings something new.
Don't give up the hope to rise,
Fair ahead the future lies,
And tomorrow may be bringing Just
the needed chance for you.
1t is time to quit the grieving
For the good old happy days:
1t is time to quit believing
Men are sunk in sinful ways;
Still the morning may be bright,
Still sweet dreams may come at night,
Fate has favors for the cheerful, but
our grumbling never pays.
-Woman's Home Companion.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

seeks the line Of least resistance All to
take the line in Life which they travel with least
effort Man. like other animals Is naturally to
exeron not compelled by immediate necessity In other
words naturally lazy unless his foresight teaches
him and his will impels him to be industrious.
The habitual tramp such because he lacks the will to
be otherwise Sentimental phianthropsts be chal
lenged to produce single tramp who his story
truly KNOWN could not be proved to have thrown
because required Of him harder than he willing
to do. opportunity after opportunity to from his
condition
Civilization does not produce the habttual tramp
sturdy beggar He exists in civilization because Is too
falsely humane to compel him to work starve
does And it Is perverson of philanthropy hold
that the tramp, other human being is entitled to
place in civilization other than what his will to work
achieve Work is nfe-Chicag 60 Ocean
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Appendicular surgery Is passing into
history. Nearly everybody who can
afford to have the malady has paid the
bill and the rest of mankind get along
very well with ordinary prudence in
observance Of the laws of digestion.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

"Kined, 1854; wounded, 45,47."
This Is not the report of a great bat
tie, but the report of the United States
Interstate commerce commission on the
injuries inflicted by our railroads for
the fiscal year ended June 80 last
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
~O~~~
Nervous Prosperity Is q Disease.

ERELY being prosperous makes many persons
/ IA III nervous Women, having duties which, II not
INv ufewer, less compulsory, than those OF men,
are peculiarly subject to this complaint. Their
kIN physical strength Is less their nervous systems
hS28 are complicated. Secretary Root regrets
the decrease Of country life on the ground that
stock which been the basis Of civilization. Mr..
thinks that to the soil is necessary
dition Of strong The American climate, in the
Northern States is exciting Many who cannot sleep In
United States less troubled with insomnia abroad
When cable cars with gongs and crowds railways
head packed Streets automobiles telephones. tee2rams
messenger and the general machinery of haste
added, tension becomes extreme Sometimes 1t
takes the form Of passion for late hours and might be
called Somnophobia The Somnophobiac IL keyed up
that he shrnks the relaxation Of Sleep other
quetness The love Of excitement Is often dsinte
grating of drink. BE hurried away by
excitement" Epctetus. "but semblancs wait for
little Let what you and what you repre-
sent" Many occupations would hardly stand
test Of Epctetus. Emerson made the point Mr.
Root, when he said that Natures H. "Why
hot little man" As women responsible just
now than men, for increasing nervosy. Of prob
lens is to make natural activities attractive to them-no
work enough to exhaust them but enough them
from being restless fly under exhausted
ceiver Pleasures diversions sufficient to
lfe Responsibility Is necessary to freedom. Thackeray
laughing at the srvings of Werther, heroine
the end of the poem, cutting bread and butter
Candide after examining all possible worlds decided
the real thing was to cultivate garden-Coiers Weekly
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

not follow when the flying fish spread
their wings and scared In the air for a
while.
''It is remarkable what distances
these delicate members can go on their
poorly trained wings. 1 have seen them
fly as far as two city blocks. They are
interesting little fellows, and they al
ways draw the attention of the tourist
and the stranger in Gulf waters"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

A partially demented man in Maine
has had his head completely cleared
by a sounding thump on the skull.
This case ought to be thoroughly in
vestigated, for If such treatment is of
universal applicability, then every city
in the land should proceed at once to
elect or have appointed an official
knocker
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

To fish Is to prevaricate. The rule
is invariable. If Izaak Walton pre-
sents an apparent exception it must
be remembered that he was in reality
but little of a fisherman despite the
clamor of the fraternity which would
push him forward as its chiefest ex-
emplar.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
WIVES WANTED OUT WEST,

Thousands Of Women Can Find Hus-
bands In Western States.
A traveller in Arizona reports that
the young men of the West are bache-
lors not from choice, but from neces-
sity. OF the dearth of women in that
section he says:
Thousands of cattle are standing
knee deep in alfalfa, the land is rich
and the young men are thrifty and
prosperous. But they can't get wives.
There are not women enough to go
around. Arizona wants several car
loads Of women just as soon as she
can get them"
Census statistics support this view
of the case, not only as to Arizona, but
as to a number of other Western States
and territories. Here are a few sig
nificant figures showing that not every
Jack has his Jill:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Seventeen thousand new words, or
new meanings of old words, appear in
the revised edition Of dictionary Of
the English language. These were Sc
lected from half a million words and
definitions that had come into use
since the dictionary was first printed.
only ten years ago. The language. in
spite of its antiquity, does not seem
to be threatened with senile decay.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

nearly equal to the demand, although
wages are considerably higher than
In the United States. Women of many
nationalities are constantly arriving N
Manila, but American girls are scarce.
Englishwomen Outnumber them four
to one, and now hold the best positions,
although nearly all the want ads" end
with, American girl preferred"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Hard to Please.

Hard to Please
They're accusing you now," said
the friend of the political boss. "of
putting money into politics."
"Huh," snorted the boss. There's
no pleasin' 'em at all. Before made
my pile they accused me of takin'
money out O. politics. cs."-Philadelphfa
Press.
Eclipsed.
I'VE can excel you in everything"
boasted the American.
II don't think you can," responded
the Englishman.
"How about our get-rich-quick con-
Germs? Have you any to equal them"
"Sure! How about our noblemen
that marry American girls"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Evolution Of Industrial Methods,


:: ::
~ lation
NSETEG1 Civilization has spent thousands years in
S&0N the competitive system. Out of hundred bust
ness men ninetynine have failed-one hundred
business enterprises have landed ninety-nne with
broken hearts, broken hopes and with money
his pocket and a broken digestion
Competition encouraged the merchant sell aduterated
goods bogus goods worthless goods It encouraged him
to pay his employees little he could order
pete with others who hired employees and charge his
toners much he could
The competitive system is dying slow death.
Already the system Of organization arrived
trusts represent this system.
1t is crude and selfish it takes for few big organized
pirates the that used to be distributed
among great many little competitive pirates.
But organisation under trust management is
step in the right direction.
The trust that Is combining the nations industries into
few companies the way certainly and surely
national ownership.
When half dozen men, shall all the
railroads. there will be interference the people
or later. When man, few men, shall all
steel mills all the coal mines and all wells
street nnesthere will be interference by people
sooner or later.
When it is clearly proved that man, q few men,
can the business of the nation that the much
competition is not the life Of indication
savagery then the people will say the man,
few men, 'We the people, will the business of the
people, and not indiv1dual"-New Journal
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

W. X. Vanderbilt thinks the sal
aries of preachers should be reduced.
Mr.. Vanderbilt seems to be rather un-
grateful. A preacher did him quite a
favor when he wanted to get married
awhile ago and the laws of the Church
of England almost thwarted him.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Missed a sale,

II can especially recommend this
ta1lor-made gown for SERVICE" said the
genial manager of the ready-to-wear
department.
"Sir," answered the young lady Gus
toner, with a look that was calculated
to freeze the mercury in thermome-
ter, "Im not going out to service"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

A Philadelphia horse put his foot
into his mouth and it took a crowd
Of veterinaries to untangle him. Let
this be a terrible warning to you.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

One of the questions that agitates
the man In the street Ii whether an
nexation Of Panama would bring down
the price Of his next summers hat.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15


fair augmentation before competent impartial
bunal instead Of by the stern arbrament sword
should have the support Of all rghtthink1ng men, The
tendency shown the nations discuss
full methods and in adopt them is sign of
the times for which ought to be thankful
dence of the development of the Christian
which, when 1t reaches its full development
war no more 1t far cry yet the day when
the kindly earth shall slumber lapt law but
1t Is coming By all means the two great English
nations should show good lead in this direction-The
Christian Guardian
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
couldu,t Fool Him.

my ledger shows that did a bust
ness of more than $4,000 last year" !"
said the grocer who was trying to sell
out
"Yes," rejoined the prospective pur-
chaser, "but what does your pocket
book shown
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

A New York preacher became the
father of triplets a few days ago. If
he can 60 on preaching peace on earth
now it will have to be admitted that
he's a wonder
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Mr.. Carnegie says that he pities the
son Of a rich man. One is inclined to
feel sometimes that Mr.. Carnegie ex-
aggerates the joys Of poverty.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Another Matter.

Misconceptions wife says you
should come home at once, Mr.. Easy
boy. De house has burned down
"Oh, well, that's all right. 1t didn't
belong to me-"
too"
"Um-um! Belonged to the INSTALL
ment house."
"And de coal in de cellar is burn
in"
"What! Get out of the way, I paid
for that coal yesterday!
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15


to remedy these far possible If nothing
done than to the habit deep breathing
would be hygenic reform Of the Importance We
doubt anything could be done by public authority
would contribute the health happiness the
community. Until human beings placed full posses
sion of their physical faculties and in full enjoyment
their natural functions, they do not know how good
place the world is With of genuine good health
the world, Of something approaching physical per-
fecon there would be less craving artificial enjoy
probably craving If the schools
will in addition to making the children practice deep
breathing cultivate their speaking voices and
to walk well. the effect in few years will be marvellous
Montreal Star.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

There were only nineteen deaths due
to football this season. The hunting
record beats that all to pieces.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Anqlo-American Arbitration.

SOME Of the United States newspapers sug-
gest the desirability Of an arbitration treaty
between Britain and that country, similar to
that recently made between Britain and France.
Everything that looks in the direction Of lessen
ing the danger Of war, and establishing the
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER.
ESTING ITEMS.

Comments and Criticisms Based Upon
the Happenings of the Day-Histori.
cal and News Notes.
Self-indulgence is the secret Of In
dgence.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
How to Please All.

Agitator-What this country needs is
compulsory arbitration.
Teacher-And compulsory education.
Preacher-And compulsory religion.
Old Maid-Yes, and compulsory
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
An Awful Fate.

Very Appropriate.
Some kind friends were going to
erect a column of marble over the de-
ceased jokesmith.
Here is fine piece" said the deal
er.
S"Why, that's funny column re-
piled the friend, gazing at the peculiar
carving.
"Well, didn't you say he was a Joke
smithY'
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Manchuria and Korea gone-and
more broken China to be picked up be-
fore long.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Another War Runner.

Another War Runner.
Priscilla-Lieutenant Higgins seems
to be rather attentive to Miss Elder
leigh Of late.
Melicent-Yes; and she is evidently
skirmishing around trying to precip-
itate an engagement.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Sfrau1e Fancy.

Strange Fancy.
Patient-After taking that medicine
I had some very mysterious dreams.
Doctor-Well, I told you it would
cause you to dream of the impossible.
Patient-I guess you are right, doc
tor. I dreamed I was settling your
bill
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

did for them They owed it entirely to themselves
Taking his life through, the average tramp
he wishes to bebecause he falls into the deusion
that it is easier to beg and steal than to
those economic ulls known hard times may
him to tramping But when this ull he did
remain a tramp unless he wished to.
The individual human ife like the electric current,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Proof at Hand.
Mister" said the seedy hobo, adj
dressing a prosperous-looking citizen.
would you kindly favor worthy but
unfortunate felow-man with a few
pennies?"
What is your occupation?" asked
the other, as he put his hand In his
pocket.
"Sir," replied the victim Of hard luck.
as he held up tattered coat-sleeve
and smiled grimly, 'I've been collecting
rents for some time past"
The Old, Old Story.
"Have you ever sent any Of your
poems to the magazines?' asked the
sentimental maid.
"Yes," answered the long-haired
verse carpenter, 'but merely as guar
anty Of good faith and not necessarily
for publication"
Ravaxes of Time.
Remember, my boy" said the good
old deacon, that even the hairs Of our
heads are numbered
well, uncle" rejoined the irrever-
ent nephew, "in your case the count
doesn't take up much Of the enumer-
ating angels time"
One Mans Wisdom.
Smith-Gotrox was worth over a
million when he died, but he didn't
leave a will.
Jones-I wonder why?
Smith-Oh, I guess he wanted his
heirs to get the benefit of his wealth
instead of the lawyers
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

1t is folly to boast of your frills
before you have built your foundation
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Physical Training in the Schools,

BOUT the best thing that has yet been hit upon
in connection with the public schools Is the care
that is being bestowed on the physical condition
of the children In the larger cities Of the
United States and to some extent in Canada
children are being examined for physical de-
fectS and annranrate measures are haino tak kan
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
The Law of Life.

ACK Of work does turn men into tramps but
it does not keep them tramps The man and
the job cannot always keep apart unless the
man SO wishes. The proof is the fact that thou
sands Of men have been tramps and are no
longer. And these men did not owe their es-
cane from tramnh0od to anvfhino that onvhodr
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Funny Creature.

"Oh, mammal exclaimed small
Bobby after seeing dachshund for the
first time. II saw such funny dog
this morning. He was two dogs long
and only half dog high Chicago
News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Don't marry a girl for the sake Of
beating her chaperon out Of job
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
The Main Thfn1.

Mr.. Nervey-Miss Roxley, I adore
you. Will you not be my wife?
Miss Roxley (haughtily)- idea Of
your proposing to a girl in my stationi
You should know better.
Mr.. Nervey-I do know better, but
no richer.-Philadelp Press.
Fully Described.
.Ascum-My wife telephoned to me
to 60 to Woodey's and get tabaret.
Lemme see, a tabaret's one Of those
wide low things like a table, only
Outlate-Yes; It's a low thing with
corners all over it that stands about
shin high in the dark-Philadelphia
Press
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

Gritty George-Yes, little boy, 1 am
gers.
Ostend- oh, how lucky you are!
Why, you can take two pieces of pie.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15
Cold Comfort.

Mr.. Slimpurse feeling his way)-
Your charming daughter tells me that
she is an excellent cook and house
keeper.
Old Lady Calmly Yes, I have had
her carefully taught, for have always
held that no lady who does not under
stand housekeeping can properly direct
a rottnue Of servants.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-15

arete, ascended a still higher peak
which lay beyond, and at 10 a. m. in
cloudless weather, Mrs. Workman
scored her greatest record, and stood at
22,56S feet above sea level.
The heights of these mountains have
been computed with the utmost scien-
tific accuracy. On the day of the as
cent hypsometric and mercurial barom-
eter readings were taken on the sum-
mits themselves, and also by govern
ment official at the lower station Of
Skardu
The climbing of these Himalayan
camping on grass or rocks to 1900
feet, as in the Andes, but by continued
difficult snow bivouacs, made at 10000
1S,4OO and 1885 feet.
Two nights were passed at this lat
ter immense altitude, where two-thirds
Of the eighteen coolies, who carried
the high camp equipment, were pros
trated by mountain sickness. DR.. and
Mrs. Workman and guides, although
they slept little and suffered somewhat
from mountain lassitude, were not Ill,
and were able to carry out their fifteen
hours climb the next day with COM
plete success.
These were the most notable climbs
Of the expedition In 1903, but besides
these, three large glaciers have been
explored and surveyed and four first
ascents and traverses Of snow passes
from $4,000 to $4,000 feet in height ac-
complished. This seasons work, add
ed to that of 1902, when many peaks
and the great Chogo Loongma glacier
were first ascended, combine to make
the two greatest high climbing expedi-
tions yet carried out in the Himalayas
Several hundred magnificent photo
graphs were taken during the summer.
Boston Herald.