davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

The Holstein COW has been vindicat-
ed. The gentle bovine. in black and
white, who makes such pretty ac-
cessory for the landscape artists, has
been cleared Of all suspicion of giving
watered, chalky, or adulterated milk.
II her milk is deficient in butter fat 1t
IL not her fault. She does the best she
can On the food that is provided for
her. This is the verdict of the Illinois
food commission and the Chicago milk
inspectors after an analysis of six
samples OF milk taken from pure and
grade Holsteins in a dairy in Dekaib
County. Only one Of these samples
failed 20 come up to the requirements
Of the city ordinance The llolstein
cow came originally from Schleswig-
Holstein. province OF Prussia, fer
Cefly duchy Of Denmark. The lat
~ b.Sng one Of the greatest butter
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

A millionaire In New York and n
millionaire woman in San Francisco
have committed suicide. j. Picrpont
Morgan is losing money and prestige
every day; bushel of diamonds be
longing to John w. Gates have been
stolen; Andrew Carnegie is suffering
untold agonies because of his disgrace
full wealth; and John ID. Rockefeller
is still forced to live on crackers. Pity
the poor millionaire!
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

There is an honest and sincere ego
tism about the German Emperor
which makes him stand out a cool and
refreshing object among the pompous
and platltudinous monarchs Of the
world Wishing to pay the highest
compliment he could think of to his
old preceptors, he said In effect in
his speech at Cassel that they were en-
titled to the gratitude of the nation,
for they helped to make him, William,
the great and splendid thing he is.
What dreary waste the royalty of
Europe would be without William.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over Sayings that Are Cheer
full TO Old or Young-Funny Selec-
tions that Everybody Will Enjoy.

Mr.. Stubb-Here Is another woman
who insisted that the word obey
should be left out of the marriage cere-
mony.
Mrs. Stubb-Well, don't think it
should be left out.
Mr.. Stubb (surprised)-I am glad to
hear that
Mrs. Stubb-No, don't think 1t
should be left out. | think the man
should say 1t.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

flowers Of Babel is what New
York man calls the tall buildings going
up in that city, not because they are
so high, but because there Is Il babel of
tongues among the workmen employed
on them. Irish and German, Italian
and Scotch, with now and then a ma
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

The late Lord Salisbury was hap
pier man in his chemical laboratory
than in the House of Lords or at the
foreign Office. His avocation was II
delight. The by-industries Of states
men, If we may 80 term them, range
from agriculture to zymotic investiga-
finna
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Let praise be given where praise Is
due. In devoting the proceeds Of her
sensational lecture tours to the found
Ing of a home for d1.unkards' wives,
mothers and children, Carrie Nation
has done a noble work.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

DR.. Wiley says that badness Is a
proof Of civilization. and that woman
has long hair because she Is still II
savage. This suggests the question
whether Dr. Wiley would rather marry
a baldheaded woman or a savage.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Harry--Blanche says she has insup'
cradle reasons for remaining single.
Horace-Yes, I know what they are
Harry-Then she has told you?
Horace-No, but l have seen her
Boston Transcript.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Information Wanted,

WHO was it." asked Peckham,
"who said: Give me liberty or give
me DEATH"
"Patrick Henry" replied his friend.
"And what was the result?' queried
Peckham. Did they give him
divorce or did he dieT-Chicago News.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

making countries In til. world, II seems
rather curious that the Holstein COW
on coming to America should be accus.
ed of giving milk with no butter fat
In 1t. The Holstein will not be shot,
as one of Chicago's milk dealers ad-
visad
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Cooking Schools.

A new story is told of Josiah Flynr
and his tramplng with tramps.
"How's the eating?" he asked a
Weary Willie.
pretty bad, pard, and I'll tell you
what's the matter. These ere cookin
schools Is penetratin' to the uttcrmost
parts and the womln folks is laarnin
how to mutilate the victuals into
French dishes. New York Times.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

1t is now thought that Dowager EN-
than q year. Alas! that year may cost
the Flowery Kingdom years upon
years of repentance.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Ernie-Helen has such a slow young
man
Ida-Yes, indeed! Why, when he
goes away she has to muss her own
hair to make believe he kissed her
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

The man with long hair was very
sanguine over his latest lyric.
This song will sweep every part
of Chicago In week." he boosted.
THANK goodness" said the good cit
lien THAT Is more than the street
cleaners could do in year."
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

She-Hasn't she given you the least
hope?
He-I believe she has; the least she
ever gave to any fellow.-Philadelph
Ledger.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
What the Hog Weighed

~ heard that you sold your hog
"Yis. bedad, l did
"IIow much did 1t weigh?'
"Begorra. 1t didn't weigh as much as
l thought 1t would" after a mo-
ment's hesitation 81 thought it
wouldn't"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

There is certain suggestion of the
law Of compensation In the plans of
the Chicago University for foot
ball field and hospital adjoining.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
wronr Direction.

Recently during dense fog on bons
leland Sound a steamboat took iand-
ing. A traveller anxious to go aneau
c.ma to the man at the wheel, ana
asked why they stopped. -,
100 much fog. Can't see the river
.Bnt YOU can see the stars over
head" 80,
Eyes" replied the pilot, but until
the biler bursts we amt going that
way" The passenger went TO Deu'-
Philadelphia Ledger.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

A certain novelty looks like a full.
sized cigar, but it is pencil, and when
the lower edge is turned a piece of
black lead makes its appearance at the
tip
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
But Never Otherwise.

mo one ever keeps cook out In
Nhese suburbs over week"
Beacon has cook he has had ten
years"
"Great Scott! Who Is she?"
"His wife"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

eff a young man wishes any con-
ISOLATION when he's preparing for his
wedding" said the supper table sage,
"just let him remember that he doesn't
have to buy the rousseau"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Great Difference,

Mrs. Airs. Lever says she has
hard time to manage her automobile.
Mrs. Z.-Well, she mustn't expect
automobiles to be as easy to manage
as husbands. ~. ..ftT,.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

"SOme men," began the moralizer,
fare born great, some achieve great
ness, and -"
YES" interrupted the demoralizer,
'and some get in front of automobiles
ind have greatness thrust upon them"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

w. E. Henley, the celebrated author,
left an estate of $1,000, which would
be almost half enough for one Of New
ports midway dinners.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

An Eastern contemporary has an ar
ticle on The Cigarette Vice" Its grip
on the younger generation Of the trou-
serswearing variety does seem wise
lta
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Friend-Now that you have made
millions what will you do?
Old Bullion-I shall retire, and amuse
myself telling people what a burden
wealth is, and how happy I was when
l was poor.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

According to a learned scientist, an
able bodied sunhower "sucks up 145
pounds of water in its lifetime" And
1t doesn't grow In Wall street, either.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Celeste-Did you have any advent
ures on your trip to the country?
Sylvia-Oh, yes; we went out on an
automobile and came home in milk
wagon.-Detro!t Free Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

American trusts want the earth, and
the American pottery trust is said to
be buying English clay beds In pur'
suance Of this policy.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

A man who works usually pays his
debts, as he has money. But the loaf
er is nearly always dead beat. be-
cause he has no money.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Clare-He pressed me to tell him If
really and truly loved him.
Maude-And did you tell him?
Clare-NOt l. l was afraid If I did
he might stop the pressure.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

The Chicago blgamist who had eight
wives says that so far as women are
concerned he SIS done" 1t looks more
as If he were undone.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Tears are to women what swear
words are to men.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Women envy man when they see
the contented look on his face as he
carelessly poses, with his hands In his
pockets and whistles
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Mary MacLane says the future Is a
lutte without strings 1t may also be
described as an untooted flute.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

And France won't be content with
half-morocco either.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

A thin woman who tried to learn
How to Get Fat for So" was told to
buy 1t at the butchers.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

A New York salesgirl has married a
count, land Laura Jean Libby is vim
dictated at last
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Not the Same.

Teacher-Well, John, what is the
principal product of the Island Of Cuba
imported to the United States?
Boy-I don't know, ma'am.
Teacher-What! Don't you know
where the sugar comes from?
Boy-Yes, ma'am, we borrow it from
rhe woman next door.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Wise Willie.

Returned Soldier was in five ell
gagements in two years.
Willit-Dat's nuthin'; sisters been IN
ten.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Mother-Do yo' 'spect that young
jackson means business?
Daughter-Suttinly. He's already
painted a washin' an ironin' sign.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
A Natural Wonder.

Smarticus-W Wonderful instance OF
magical power of water, that
Sparticus-To what do you refer?
Smartiicus-I threw spool In the
water and 1t come up a-bobbin'.-Balt-
more American.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

"Sleep," remarked the poet, sis tired
natures BATH
''Such being the case" rejoined the
prosaic person, sit strikes me that
tramps ought to be cleaner than they
are"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

There wouldn't be much room at the
top If those who reach 1t were half
a. big as they think they are
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Hard on Nose,

Som-Mose Jackson doan blebe Diet
rabbits foot brings good luck eny
mo-.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Hate is simply love turned wrong
side out.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

SIS your sister going to marry the
count"
What business Is 1t of yours?'
'Well, the count owes me money and
want to know.'-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

It's lucky coin that doesn't turn
tail when you call heads.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

A doctor is tie only person we know
who gets lad for indnIging ia guess
IL; scSciDGas
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Ledger.

Visitor-Well, Jack, and what are
you going to be when you grow up?
Jack-A bachelor
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Won Her Heart,

you do not know how much love
you" said the gallant elephant who
went counting.
"Indeed.' whispered bashful Miss
Jumbo; "am L worth my weight in
gold?"
Better still! You are worth your
weight In peanuts"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

He--If you loved me why did you at
first refuse me?
Shell wanted to see what you would
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
something After Death

sometHIHE ~ .,tI,
Mrs. Bingo-Oh. dear! Do you think
that death ends all?
Bingo-All but the estate. Inc law
yers end that.-Judge.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
OLD
FAvORlTES

MY Name IL Norval.
My name Is Norval; on the Grampian
hills
My father feeds his focks-a frugal
swain,
Whose constant cares were to increase
his store,
And keep his only son, myself, at home.
For l had heard of battles, and longed
To follow to the field some warlike lord;
And heaven soon granted what my sire
denied.
This moon which rose last night, round
as my shield,
Had not yet filled her horns, when, by
her light,
A band of fierce barbarians from the hills
Rushed like q torrent down upon the
vale,
Sweeping our focks and herds. The
shepherds fed
For safety and for succor. l alone.
With Bonded bow and culver full OF ar
rows,
lowered about the enemy, and marked
The road he took; then hasted to my
friends,
Whom, with a troop of fifty chosen men,
met advancing. The pursuit l led,
Till We o'ertook the spoil-encumbered
foe.
We fought and conquered. Ere sword
was drawn
An arrow from my bow had pierced their
chief,
Who wore that day the arms which now
l wear.
Returning home In triumph, l disdained
The shepherds slothful life; and having
heard
That our good king had summoned his
bold peers
To lead their warriors to the Carron
side,
left my fathers house, and took with
A chosen servant to conduct my steps
Yon trembling coward who forsook his
master.
Journeying with this intent. l passed
these towers,
And, heaven directed, came this day to
do
The happy deed that gilds my humble
name.
John Home.
Flow gently, sweet Alton, among thy
green braes:
Flow gently, I'll sing thee song in thy
praise;
Ny Mary's asleep by thy murmuring
stream,
Flow gently, sweet Alton, disturb not
her dream.
Thou stock-dove whose echo resounds
through the glen,
Ye wild whistling blackbird in yon
thorny den,
Thou green-crested lapwing, thy scream
ing forbear:
l oh arge you disturb not my slumbering
fair.
How lofty, sweet Alton, thy neighboring
hills,
Far marked with the courses of clear
winding rills!
There daily l wander as noon rises high,
My focks and my Mary's sweet cot In
my eye.
How pleasant thy banks and green val
leys below,
w
roses blow!
There oft as mild evening sweeps over
the lea,
The sweet scented birk shades my Mary
and ME.
Thy crystal stream, Alton, how lovely 1t
glides,
And winds by the cot where my Mary
resides;
How wanton thy waters her snowy feet
lave,
AS gathering sweet fowerets, she stems
thy clear wave!
Flow gently, sweet Alton, among thy
green braes;
Flow gently, sweet river, the theme OF
MY lays;
My Mary's' asleep by thy murmuring
stream,
Flow gently, sweet Alton, disturb not
her dream.
Robert Burns.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

'"rhe cook is gone" began Mrs. Ben
der.
what! Gone" roared Bender.
Nov, l suppose I'll starve and"
Hold on! l meant to say she was
None on the milkman"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Bobby-Why, mother, | heard you
tell father last night that | knew en-
tirely too much.-Detroit Free Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

you say that the people on the
street threw stones at the patrol
wagon. Why did they do that"
THE prisoner insisted upon singing
'Hiawatha'
six months at hard labor. "-Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Remus-Why not?

Sam-Bekase de kernars bulldog bit
away de berry pocket he was carryin'
it in.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14
Not in Any Danger.

you go into the ocean every day"
Eyes"
But aren't you afraidF'
Not at all I'm safe. l don't know
how to SWIM"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1904-01-14

Mother-Of course, Bobby.

Bobby-Do l have to go to school
again, mother?
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08
TWO BOYS DRINK
TOO MUCH WINE

Del Thiel and Henry Stein, two
scshool boys, found a demijohn full
of port wine Saturday afternoon.
They proceeded to drink the liquor
indian fashion" and within an hour
the youngsters were stretched out on
the street.
The police department was noti-
fled of the condition of the boys and
it was necessary to haul the youthful
reyelers to the station in the patrol
wagon. On their arrival there, Coun-
ty Physician Curran was called, and
he at once set about reyiving the
boys. He administered several hypo-
dermic injections before the lads
showed any signs of life, and for a
time one of the boys was deathly
sick. Their mothers later called at
the station and took the boys home.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08
CONTRACTORS and employees
TO FORM NATIONAL ALLIANCE

INDIANAPOLIS. Ind, Aug. 8.-To
bring building contractors and en-
ployes closer together throughout the
country with view to lessening the
of strikes is the chief aim Of
the National Structural Building
Trades Alliance, the permanent or-
ganization of which is to be effected
at a conference begun today by rep
resentatives of the interested labor
organizations.
For several years the idea of the
alliance was agitated, but active
measures were not taken to form
such a body until last fall, when the
National Building Trades Employers
association was formed. A commit
tee of heads of national labor unions
was formed shortly afterward, and
sent out call for a meeting, at
which temporary organization of the
alliance was effected 1t was decided
to start with the national unions in
the nine principal building trades.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08

These are the BriclIlayers and Ma
sons International union, the Inter-
national Association OF Bridge and
Structural Iron Workers, the United
Association of Journeymen Plumbers,
Gas and Steamfitters, the United Bro-
therhood of Carpenters, the Operative
Plasterers National union, the Inter-
national Association of Stationary
Engineers, the National Electrical
Workers union, the brotherhood OF
Painters and the International Build
ing LaboTers' union.
When the alliance is In running
order II will represent a membership
OF 100000 building trade workers.
The organization will aim to faciH-
tate the creating Of trade agreements
with the associations Of employers
where no such agreement exists, tq
bring about the arbitration of trade
disputes, to do away with strikes and
lockouts, and to foster business rela-
tions between unions and employers.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08
WORRIED OVER
AMERICAS ORDERS

WASHINGTON, D. c., Aug. s.
Chekib Bey, the Turkish minister,
called at the state department this
morning tc inquire whether the pub
lished statements thar the European
squadron of the United States navy
had been ordered to Smyrna as a
menace to Turkey were correct.
He was informed that the visit of
the American ships to Turkey was
in accordance with prea ranged
schedule and should not be consid-
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08
ENORMOUS BOOM
OF CEDAR LOGS

BALLARD. Aug. S. What is de-
clared to be the largest boom of logs
ever moved on Puget Sound was
towed into Ballard harbor yesterday
by the tug Tillicum, Captain Charles
Worth. 1t contained 3s sections OF
from 60 TO 100 cedar logs each, cr
the equivalent of 100000 feet, ae-
cording to the estimate of those on
the tug.
The boom, which IS owned by the
Stimson Mill company, was picked up
at Marysyille. 1t took the Tillicum
10 hours TO pull it into Ballard.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08

at length, picked four beautiful girls
Of the village to sing at his funeral,
and composed the music and wrote
the words of two or three philos-
optical poems, setting forth his views
Of life, death and immortality. The
choir girls sang them all. Pallbear-
ers named by Mr.. Laycock bore his
body to the grave in the little ceme-
terry on the hill.
LaycocI was 7S years old and had
lived in Danyille for half century.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08
ROUGH HOUSE At
THE SVEA SALOON

There was a rough house at the
Syea saloon Saturday night. Two
young fellows we're in the sa-
loon playing slugs in the slot ma
chimes. Word was sent to Baldie and
in a few minutes, it is alleged, six
of his hired plug uglies, armed with
"billies," entered the saloon and fell
upon the miscreants who were trying
to beat the machines. They did not
beat the machines, but the thugs
beat them good and plenty. When
they had been hammered sufficiently
TO impress on them the Nervousness
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08

CHEYENNE, Wyo., Aug. s.
Shortly before daylight this morning
five bandits attempted to hold up the
Atlantic express at Assay, two miles
west of Green river, ON the Union
Pacific. The outlaws turned a
switch, intending to wreck the flyer
on a short siding, but pumpman
discovered the plot and got word to
the trainmen of the express, which
approached swiftly.
The robbers shot the pumpman
and he will probably die.
The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, 1904-08-08
BIG RACE
is Open

NEW YORK, Aug. 8-The presi-
Dental campaign Of 1904 received a
big impetus today when Republican
and Democratic headquarters were
opened here simultaneously.
Chairmen Taggart and Cortelyou
from now on will give their entire
attention TO the campaign.
The first meeting of the new Dem
ocratic committee was held at noon
in the Hoffman house.