Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-07-30
AN UP-TO-DATE HOTEL

Tackled I'd q pillar in the parlor-exchanse
Of an excellent summer hotel In the n.ue
Ridge, not ,enythinK like q thousand miles
from Washluetonsi n the following neatly
ty pewrittenS preseilation Of the hotefs ad-
'This hofa has been built and arranged
for the special Comfort and convenience OF
the travelling public
ION arrival each guest will be asked now
he likes the situation, and II he says the
hotel ought to have been placed nearer tne
railroad depot, the location OF the mousse
will be Immediately changed.
Corner font rooms, up only ono nisnt'
for each guest.
EVERY guest Will have the best seat IN
the dining hall and the best waiter IN tne
house. ,. ..,~..
children will be welcomed with dehent:
and are requested to bring hoopstlcks anu
hockeys to bang the carved rosewood furni-
ture, especially provided ror tnat puip os'
and peg tops to spin on the VeIset "a, 30
They will be allowed to pans on .nv p,a
at all hours fall down stairs, carry away
dessert enough for a small fanny ~ .ne.s ~,
pockets at dinner, and make themselves as
generally disagreeable as the iohoes'
mother can DESIRE
"Washing allowed in rooms. Ladies Civ,
ing an order to put me on napiron VII
be given one any hour OF the DAY or mug ~.
1.-THE office clerk has been careIuiy
iected, out of a large number OF appncahts,
to please everybody. He can lead IN
prayer, play draw poker. matcn y, woi .on5
in the village store, play billlards' Is eooo
walter, can lead the german, mar
fourth at euchre, amuse the chioren, - q
good Judge of race horses and keeps the
dope books right up to the minute, as a
railroad or steamboat reference Is LaL s
perior to Appleton's Guide OF any uvuy
else's; will firt with any young LADY invol,
unfairly inclined to wallfowerishness' ana
not mind being cut to death when pa comes
down.; can room forty people IN Inc p S.,,,
room in the house when the nu.ei ~ 10 o aT,.
and they're sleeping In the halls on cots
four deep; attend to the annunciator anu
the telephone, and answer questlohs III
Greek, Hebrew, Choctaw, irish, SiWasn'
Kanaka, Filipino or any other pon.e h an
guage, all at the same moment, without
turning hair. hons.
The MANAGEMENT will esteem IT a speciai
favor if persons owning small toA lii go
pups, just at the teething stage, VIII see
to it that the NUTS eat up all the up
holstery they can during their sojourh III
our midst.
guest Of the house, with four caooies ~
each guest. without extra charge, +aa -
allow the spigots to remain open and the
water to run in their room WASH basins
all night
ANY lady who feels aggrieved because
some other lady has more and better
clothing has only to report her grey,
ance to the clerk, and the onender Will
be turned out of the house at once.
THE landlord will always be happy 10
hear that some other hotel few squares
away is the best hotel in the country.
ANY chambermaid failing to make up
each guests ROOF. and bed the first thing
in the morning, before any or the other
rooms or beds are attended to Will be
handed over to the police.
women with several young children
are requested to see to it that their young
ones play jumping from the Brooklyn
bridge and catchey -horsey' as soon as
they awaken at half-past five each morn
ing, in order that persons occupying rooms
below may sleep better.
ANY ladyaobjeeting to the presence OF
the bar in the basement has only to re-
port her objection to the management.
and the bar will be closed at once and the
fixtures sold to the highest bidder.
1.-TWO elevator boys, especially employed
for their affability. are required to carry
all the children in the house from the
basement to the. top floor of the house
at all hours of the day and night Adult
guests are not permitted to interfere with
the children in this matter.
1.-The string orchestra has been especi-
ally chosenpfor it's ability to render sew
|enty-three different request compositions
at one and the same time
"All children above the age of three
years are permitted to run the house
automombile anywhere they want to run
it. The house holds itself responsible for
any damages resulting to children or
automobile. '''
Mothers of little girls are particularly
requested to have these angel children
to play the Chop Sticks and Monastery
Bells on the hotel piano at all hours.
Small boys are permitted, without re-
prevail to pull the plug out Of the SWIM
ming pool in the basement.
I'VE don't know how long we're going
to last, but were going to last as long as
we can
For further information as to the
house and it's advantages see booklet"