Chicago eagle., 1904-07-30

suyS COhtcHt 10 iiNh'
The ocean dory.trip business cannot
be reported as successful when the
man who crosses the sea In a nineteen.
foot dory has to return as steerage
steward on an Atlantic liner. The
reckless voyager did not profit by his
venture to support himself while
abroad. The trip from Boston to Mar.
seilles may have seemed to him Il path
way to fame and comparative wealth.
but II had steerage at Its end. Fail.
ure In such an exploit Is a life-saving
result. 1t will discourage the over.
venturesome.
~SA
Not to be behind tie progressive
cities of the Occident which regulate
the height of buildings and the width
Of the streets. Canton has a municipal
ordinance providing that no street
shall he less than six feet wide. That
Is space enough to allow two fat Chi.
nese to pass each other without graz
ing.
~eA
A New Jersey Judge describes war
as "lynch law on Il large scale" Gen.
Sherman's fOur-letter definition, how.
ever, ~ likely to retain pre-eminence
with those who appreciate brevity as
well as emphasis.
~ee,A
Miss Stone wrote an account Of her
experiences among the Macedonian
bandits. Mr.. Perdicnris Is in duty
bound to favor an impatient world
with the story Of his captivity In Mo-
rocco.
We may agree with the elocutlon.
lists that our American accent Is not
the most attractive In the world. but
most of us will emphatically object to
administering the English accent as a
cure.
~6A
Judge Brady of Kansas City fined a
young fellow for kissing his best girl
on the front steps Of her home. The
next time the scoundrel will know
enough to step into the vestibule.
~eA
Circumstantial evidence Is proven.
bially dangerous to rely upon, but, all
the same, there are lots of people that
regard the presence Of "wrigglers" in
their milk as sufficient to convict the
miliiinan.
The estimate Of 14.UVO.OOO as the
number Of men who have lost thei,
lives In battle during the last hundred
years does not take into account the
lives lost In the annual battle Of the
Fourth Of July.
The Japs In Tokyo are giving thanks
to the gods for the japanese victories
but from this distance II looks very
much as II the men In the field have
had something to do with them.
~
A German peasant has pair Of feet
that require No. II shoes. 1t Is scarce
ly necessary, perhaps. to add that the
peasant to whom these feet pertain Il
a man.
>6~
Countless editorials are being writ
ten to explain "Why the japanese
VIM" Boiled down, must Of them
account for the japanese victories by
showing that the Russians lost.
A Missouri couple are the proud pa
rents OF II 1.pound boy. How provok
ing II must be to he kept awake nights
by mere III ounces Of squalling hu
manity.
The New York man who found q
diamond In his "sOft. boiled" breakfast
the other morning 10 one Of the few
who have no reason to complain OF the
price OF eggs.
Only trifle more than half the
graduates of wOmen's colleges marry
according to President Thwing's tig
ures. This may make father stol
and think.
~6A
Russell Sage has lost lawsuit NJ
In. Minnesota, but he was fOrehandet
enough to make up for the loss by no
taking n vacation hack I'm the '1Os
A Federal judge has held that thu
press has Il right to critlcise II judge
Now doth ye editor proceed to dip hi
pen in vitrol and say few things.
An Ohio man has attracted some Mt
tentiOn by asking to have his pension
| Cancelled. Pooh! That's nothing. Al
Iowa man once resigned an Office.
Let the small boy be admOnishe,
| that while the Fourth of July Is ,
great and glorious day 1t does not in
clude the third and fifth.
DIR. Schurman says no man has d
right to be n bachelor as a matter OF
choice" What! Not as q matter o
the lady's choice?
%eA
"Taking an interest in the solution