Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-09-09

Filtration: Stella-Did you buy q
lobleman while you were abroad :
Bella merely shopped--Ex-
change.
i ''Touren says it only takes a cent
to run his auto mile" 81 always
wondered what the scent was for
fC1eveland Plain Dealer.
Maud cut fine figure on Broad
way yesterday. Nell-You did? Maud
Yes. I refused to speak to Mr..
lormade.-Princeton Tiger.
'sThe Paddingtons are great on style,
aren't theyY' They have no automo-
bile, have they?'' NO, but they be-
long to church that has a curate."-
Exchange.
No doubt about It: He-Is he a
self-made man? She-Oh, yes; he
spells English the way it is pro-
nounced and pronounces French the
way it is spelled.-Judge.
Madge-What makes you think that
handsome music teacher is mercen-
|
father two dollars an hour for making
love to her.-Town Topics.
1--WE got no use for the man who
mixes business with religion "No;
but some of us would be better for
mixing little religion with our bust,
ness. Philadelphia Ledger.
Patience-That was the sixth time
she's been married; and yet she looked
nervous, didn't she? Patrice-Yes,
poor girl; perhaps she's afraid it will
be her last.-Yonkers Statesman.
Widow Wixen-Yes; Henry died
quite reconciled. 1 was at his bedside
until the last moment. Dumley (mean-
ing to be supplementary that ac-
counts for it.-Boston Transcript
Mrs. Golightly-This is my new
sixty ty-f1ve-dollar bathing dress, my
dear. What do you think Of it? Co
lightly-Think you got less for your
money than any one I ever knew
Town Topics.
Mistress go to the door at
once. Some one has rung three times.
that young feller as is mashed on Miss
Maud. Yer needn't be afraid of his
goin' away in a hurry.
A teacher giving lessons on physical
force asked, "Now, boys. can any of
you tell me what force is it that moves
people along the street?" He received
from one Of the boys the unexpected
answer: "Please, sir, the police"
Papa" said the romantic girl.
percy Pink placed the stamp in the
lower left corner of the envelope.
Does that mean anything?" Sure"
grunted her practical pa. What does
it mean?" "Silliness." s."-Chicago
News.
."I'H have you know, stranger, that |
l belong to Chicago said the Yankee. |
"'Deed an wha'd hae thocht it9''
quoth the skeptic Scot; 'frae the wey |
ye've been speaking 1 thocht Chicago
belonged tae you."-Glasgow Evening
lines.
She had sent off a telegram and
was waiting for an answer. Suddenly
the peculiar halting click of the receiv-
ing machine sounded in the office, and
she said to her companion: That's
from George, 1 know; l can tell his
stutter."
81 suppose you'll take in the st.
Louis fair?" said Mr.. Staylate. No.
replied Miss Patience Come, making
no effort to suppress yawn. ''Weil.'
be continued, Il simply must go
'Oh, must you? 1t is late. isn't it2
I'm SO glad you called."- hiladelphia
Press.
IT have been told" remarked the
visitor in Salt Lake City, that your
AXE is drying up. What Seems to be
the cause?" 81 guess, mister" said
the native, eff you had as much salt
n you as that there lakes got, you'd
be gittin' purity dry, too."-Chicago
Tribune.
That's my last canvas" said
D'Auber; Il started that six months
tgo. You see, some days paint away 4
forceful!y, absorbedly, while
IN other days 1 can't paint at ALL" ,
L see," said Crittick; you painted
his on one of the other days."-Phiia- u
lelphia Press.
Noa susceptible to tillage: Mrs.
yes: some of those mar
ow, exclusive Eastern people say that
Chicago isn't cultivated. Mr.. Lake
All the city is except
he south part, and that's too marshy.
The land amt worth cultiyating."-
Life.
"Haven't you got typewriter girl
et?" mo, haven't been able to ind
ne with dark red hair "Eh? What's
he idea in that?' "Well, when l
AIRY long hairs home from the office
l want them to be the same
hade as my wife's." s."-Catholic Stand =
I'd and Times.