Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-10-05


ly-Indeed! What book? Swatter-
The directory.-Chicago News.
Gabber-You ought to meet Dyer.
Awfully clever imitator. He can take
on anybody. Miss Duncan (wearily)-
] wish he was here now.-Tit-bits.
stringem-Say, do you want to get
next to scheme for making money
fast? Nibbles-Sure do. Stringem-
Glue 1t to the fioor.-C Chicago News.
At the Art Exhibition: First Judge
-Daubleigh Is a prolific painter, isn't
he? How would you estimate his
work? Second Judge BY the quart
Life.
Another hateful thing: "How did
you like our new duet!" she asked.
"Oh, was that duet? thought you
were only quarreling.''-Y onkers
Statesman.
Roosevelt and Parker outdistanced:
Stella-Men are SO stupid. Bella
Yes, indeed; do you suppose 1t would
take me weeks to write letter OF &C.
ceptance?-Exchange.
Customer-The last fish had from
you didn't seem very fresh. Fish
Dealer--Well. mum. 'ow can you ex.
pect fresh fish to come out o. salt
water? New Yorker.
First Physician-So the operation.
was Just In the nick of time? Second
Physician-Yes,i in another twenty-f0ur
hours the patient would have recovered
without it-Harper's Bazaar. 4
At the seaside: She-Oh! George.
what lovely waves! He-yery nice;
but, poor things. they're just like me-
we both arrive at the shore In splen-
did style-and go back oke.-Judy.
Visitor lat Putin Bay)-What do you
do in here all summer? Native Loaf
and fish. yisitor-And what do you
do In the wlnter7 Native-We don't
dsh Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
II suppose" said the drummer, you
labor on the Sabbath, and rest the re-
mainder of the week." no" replied
the village parson: 81 try to collect
my salary on week days."-Chicago'
New.
,.,. -..... !. =,
more 1ouu'esone - p.. as. A ~,
can't pay" "'Nonsense! That's noth-
ing to being worried by lot Of debts
~. I In.".. Law ~ p''
pn.a Aeus.''
diagnosis: fae'eh.-,Do you s -.
sioef tnis troupie tatal, uoctor. iAou
Know NY means ste ii i,i..
..oe.ol" Gu, s.'a,,. -. - .ha.
suc.uilos - :. a..e. 49,. 80 -.
MANU- ooi'A's worm :.
Lie.
Sure enough: "of course. dont
want to criticise, but don't tnlnK II
was altogether right for David TO say
all men are mars. wen. u any
rate' II was saier tlian 10 p,en W, onu
man anu say Al " I'LL ''aus'pn'a
Press
Artist-Have you taken my picture
to the exhibition! Porter-fes, slr:
1t seemed to please the gentlemen
very much. Arust-Wnat ;diq tnf
say7 Porter-oh' they dAdn't
notning' Dull 'ney musHeu
ear.y.-e'lasso" Iseh 'As.S
Did you ever make aoney on
the board OF trader" Yes, i1.lade ono
hundred and seyenty-nve dollars there
one day IN less tnan twenty mlnutes.
"Whew! what did you 40 WIN it!
"Oh. they got u PACK petore mao
cnance 70 see II n'caso Neeoiu-
Herald
Teacher-Have you looked up the
meaning OF the word lmDlpes, ran
ny? Fanny-Yes, ma'am. Ieacher-
Well. what does II mean9 Fanhy-Io
take In. Teacher-Yes. Now give q
sentence using the WORD. sammy
aunt lihpipes ooaiuefST !" oinan Z Z
home companion
MI. heavyweight, SAID the MIN.
lister. rs willing to subscribe $loOO
for new church, provided we can get
other subscriptions making up the
same amount" Yet you seem dis
appointed" said his wife. yes, J
was In hopes he would contribute $lO0
in cash. Brooklyn Life.
Jones-It Is just impossible for mo
| to keep lead pencil. People are al
ways borrowing, you know, and they
always forget to return. Brown
| Why. l never have any trouble. See.
I've got whole vest-pocketful of PEN
ellis. Jones-Doesn't that prove Just
what i said?-Boston Transcript.
Inc Elder MISS epihs'er lappearlns
at the pack door'-Ieli me. my good
man, are you the person VINO called
here last week? Knight OF the Road
You don't mean the bloke wot yon
give the 'omade pie TO? No. num- I
Amt I'm. y LEFT me his ole toys
when e pegged out. that's all.-Judge.
Sunday School Superintendent so
you are the little man that won the
prize books. 1.-THE Lives of the Saints. -
for good behavior. Now, what are you
going to do with the books. NV little
man? johnny Miggs-Gunner change
'em. sir, fer BILLY der Black Pirate,