The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-05-21
ETIQUETTE OF CALLS
WHEN AND HOW CALLS SHOULD
BE MADE
There Seems to Be Fad for Not Max
ing Visits - Not as Much caIiinu
Done in ST. Paul as Formerly Among
the Fashionable.

The old subject of the etiquette of.
calls hobs up just SO often for discus
sion and some one wants to know
whether call after a tea is obligatory.
AS has been said before on this page
calling after teas is not necessary. hut
is done. The woman who goes into
society, but is not able to entertain
very much. should try to keep up her
calls. Many mothers, after introduce
ing their daughters, call on all those
VINO came to the tea, taking the daugh-
ter or daughters with them. In this
way hostesses intimate that thew do
not consider it necessary for those
VINO came to call at once. Invitations
TO coming-out teas are sent to all those
whom the mother of the girl desires
hef daughter to know, and the debu-
tahte should make an effort to remem-
Der them and fit the right names tn
the right faces when she meets them
afterwards. Alas, many Of the girls
90 not do this, or else they are indif-
Iefent and don't care. When women
get along in years they appreciate the
DOW and smile of debutante and
never forget the girl who is courteous
20 them. Some girls affect a sort of
fudeneSS to those not in their certain
set, which is not only silly, but worse,
ana the mother who detects this ten
dency in her daughter will re-
prove her for it. But it is
100 true that many mothers have but
little influence with their daughters.
who do as they please when they
please.
Formal calls should be made about
once year. St Paul society women
call less and less, indeed, they rarely
call at all, except to acknowledge din
ner or other formal invitations. 1t is
somewhat of fad now in society not
to make calls Everything socially is
a matter of the fad of the moment.
rms may be very silly, but it is re-
markaaAe how these foolish things gov
ern even sensible people.
IN regard to calls, courtesies of that
KIND never come amiSs even if not
fashionable. If you have been invited
10 tea and it seems courteous to YOU
70 call afterwards, by all means do SO.
NO harm can be done by it, In fact.
there is now too little politeness in
that way, especially among the young
er girls. They accept invitations, but
seldom call afterwards, and often for
get their hostess face SO completely
that they do not speak when they
meet her. All bad manners are the re-
suit of selflshneSs and self-absorp-
lion. When you forget yourself and
try to put others at their ease you are
simply unselfish, or, in other words.
well hammered. How often one meets
a woman who is all animation and in
terest so long as she is talking of her
own affairs, and if the subject is
changed to your affairs how quickly
the look of boredom and inattention
comes into her face. You will make
no mistake if you put her down for a
selfish, self-centered woman. And the
world is full of them. Women who de-
1nand everything and give nothing
They are the spoiled children of the
world. No woman can be very strong
in character and selfish. The unset
fish woman will often allow herself to
be bored in the interest of good man
ners, but she never bOres others with a
recital of her troubles, or personal
matters that are not supposed to be of
interest to the world atllarge. One OF
the trials of life is that persons who
never, by any chance, can do small
things, or make use of others, are al
ways being made use. of and having
pieces taken out of them by their sup
posed friends. This is rather far away
from manners although they certainly
are the outward and visible sign of
every ones attitude toward life.