The semi-weekly messenger., 1904-08-12
Mr.. DO0LEY ON The
COMFORTS OF TRAVEL

slightly sthreaked be tn right iv way.
eyes dancin' with suppressed fury an
their hairs almost straight, they make
a pitcher that few can frget-au'
they're lucky. But me eyes were not
fr' m Thin To tell ye tn thruth. Hin
nissy,I was hungry. / thought TO find
place among tn coal in me fr wan
iv thin sumchous meals / had r-read
about an / summoned tn black prince
who was foldin' up tn beddin' with his
teeth I wud like a breakfast firm ye'er
superbly equipped buffay,' says I. 4 got
ye,' says he. We have canned lobster
canned corn-beef. canned tomatoes
canned asparagus. an wather fresh
firm tn company's own spring at tn
! Chicago wather wurruks, he says.
! Have ye anything TO eat?' says /.
Sind me tn cook. says. I'm tn cook
, says he, wipin' a pair iv shoes with hts
sleeve. What do ye do ye'er cookin'
with?' says /. With car opener
says he. givin' a hearty laugh.
An so we whiled tn time away till
Saint Looey was reached. O'Brien an
his wife mursed me back to life, 1
rayturned on tn canal boat an here
am almost as we'll as befure / made
me pleasure jaunt. I'm not goin' TO do
| 1t again. Let thin that will bask in
| their comforts. / stay at home. Whin-
| iver / feel tn desire to fly through
| space, throw four dollars out iv tn
| window, put a cinder into me eye an
| go to bed on a shelf in tn closet.
Il guess, Hinnissy. whin we come to
| think iv it, they amt amy such thing
| as luxury in thravel. We was meant
to stay where we found ourselves first
| an thravellin is conthry to nature. l
can go firm Chicago to New York in
twinty hours but what's tn matther
With chicago? 1 can injye places bet
| ther be not goin' to thin. think iv
! Italy as tn home iv tn Pope but Ho-
| gan. who has been there, thinks iv it
! as tn home iv tn flea. I can see tn
: dome iv st. Pethers risin' against tn
sky but he can ony see tn cabman that
| charged him eighty liars or thirty cents
| iv our money to carry him around tn
! block. / think iv New York as a place
| where people set shinin' their dimonds
With satin napkins at tn Waldorf an
| dhrinkin' champagne out iv goold coal
/ scuttles with Jawn w. Gates but ]
knew a man down there that dhrives
a dhray. I've always wanted to see
tn Rocky Mountains but they don't
| look as tall nearby as they do far away.
| They amt amy easy way iv thrav-
| ellin'. Our ancesthors didn't have amy
| fast thrains but they didn't want thin.
| They looked on a man thravelIin' as a
| man dead, an so he is. Comfort ia in
| III.
| man is as comfortable on a camel as
on a private car an a man who cuC
! 1hJye bouncin' over steel rails at sixty
| miles an hour cud go to sleep on TOP iy
| donky injine. Tn good Lord didn't
| intind us to be gaddin account tn wur-
ruld. Tn more we thry to do it, tn
| harder its made f'r us. A man is SUD-
| posed to take his meals an his sleep
| III an attichood iv repose. 1t ain't mach
raj TO begin on a billed egg at Gales
| Durg an end on it at Bloomington. We
| weren't EXPECTED to spread a meal over
| TWO hundred miles an our snores Owe,
| thousand. If tn Lord had wanted
San Francisco to be near New York.
| ned have put it there. Th' railroads
haven't hade it amy nearer It's still
TN thousan miles, or whativer it is.
an ye be more tired if We reached it
IN wan day thin We wud if We did II
| IN Two months in a covered wagon an,
| stopped f'r sleep an meals Th' faster
a thrain goes, tn nearer tn jints iy tn,
ralis ARE together. Man was meant
! 10 stay where he is or walk. If Nature
had minded us to fly, she wud'ye fixed
US with wings an taught us to ate
| chicken feed
tBut tn railroads assists .Nature ;,
| said Mr.. Hennessy.
Ihey do said Mr. Dooley. ..Tba1,
make it hard to thravel'
! on, well" said Mr. Hennessv. --.Af-
ther all, they'se no place like home
Maybe that's why people thrava, ;.
said Mr.. Dooley.