The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-08-13
GUIDES DUCKED
A MERRY JESTER
YOUNG MAN PLAYED ONE JOKE
TOO MANY.
Mixed Soap with Butter in Which a
Bass Was Fried, and Was Thrown
Into the Lake by the Indignant
Woodsmen-A Tale of Tall Timber.

They's one thing mule kin teach man n
that's the right time to KICK. mule never
kicks till he can hit somepin' Philosophy of
Colonel Wheaton.
It was party fit to have an ideal time
on a camping excursion but for one thing.
It had a fool among its number. There
was an elderly gentleman, grave and
courteous, loving the good things of this
life and well able to procure them. There
were his daughter and niece, fine Specl-
mems of the athletic girl both, well able
to swim, pull a very sufficient oar, not
afraid of mouse and able to fire a gun
without shutting both eyes, and, last and
worst, there was the son and heir of the
family. This person was just out Of col
lege-and perfect specimen of the breed
Burns had in mind when he spoke Of
such as gang in stirks and come out
asses''-and this particular specimen la
bored with all his might to maintain the
reputation of his kind. He set the hand
of every man in this country-where men
are the real thing-by appearing in suit
of the frightful English cut which fits
the wearer about as an elephants skin
does the elephant. He was distressingly
English, and but for the protection Of the
angel who proverbially watches over fools,
drunken men and children, would have
been killed before he had been here an
hour for that he prefaced every request
for information from strangers-and he
lost no opportunity Of asking it-witf1:
Il say, me good man." But he got out Of
town alive, his party being under the care
of splendid woodsman, whom we all
hoped would kill him in the woods. ana
headed for the lakes along the Prairie
River system.
Their intention was to stay out for a
couple Of weeks, but the close of the fifth
day after their departure saw their return,
minus the young man, and trying to con-
ceal a profound satisfaction under an af-
fected appearance of woeful indigna ton
which was not well enough put on to
thoroly hide their real feelings. A little
diplomacy extracted the story of the trip
from the head Of the party, and I will
give it as nearly in his words as possible:
It was a lovely country into which the
guide took us, a regular Eden before the
fall for the sportsman, and lover of ma
ture, and but for the fact that that I'M
lucky boy OF mine had contracted vicious
habit of practical Joking at college, real
ly think we would have remained out a
month. But find that you people seem
very much inclined to take any other than
Ia humorous view of that form of humor,
in which inclination, to speak the truth,
am a sharer myself However, think
the experience he had on the trip has
cured my son of overindulgence in it, and
If it has, it is certainly worth all it cost.
HE made his first essay in the line
the very first night out by carefully prop
ping up the mosquito net under which I
slept with a forked stick, giving free In
gress to such a horde Of the winged pests
as to render sleep impossible and force
me to arouse the whole camp and have
my net and tent smudged out before I
could obtain any rest at all. The next
day he beguiled the girls to go fishing
with him, marooned them on an island
mile from our camp, enticing them
there on the pretext that 1t was covered
with wild raspberries, and left them pris-
oners for half a day, till their frantic sig
mailing was seen by the cook who went
to the rescue. After that neither would
so in a boat with him, but was foolish
| enough to do so, and paid well for it. ]
had often heard of fire hunting, and, de-
string for just the once to see what 1t
was like, preached the idea to the guide
who procured a shacker,' kind of
Sylvan outlaw. I believe, to show me-
This 'shacker' came to the camp one
evening, bringing with him a tens gage
shot gun and miniature searchlight of a
lantern, and guided US to small lake
/ close at hand, which was q favorite noe
turnal bathing and feeding ground of the
/ deer.
There he had large birchbark canoe
4
| the frail craft, my son being under SOL
emn promise to behave himself. We
| slipped thru the waters without sound.
/ sitting In the middle of the canoe, gun
/ in hand and ready to shoot, the guide
/ padding. and Mr.. tShacker' in the low
ready to flash his light at the proper mo-
ment. My son sat just behind me, where
I thought he could do no harm, and
would have done none had he not been
seized by the fool notion of rocking the
boat just as the Sneaker flashed his
light full on a fine deer standing in the
water and staring at the light, and ]
was raising the gun to shoot
Two buckshot went thru the stshack-
er's" ear, his gun went to the bottom
the canoe went know not whittier, and
we scrambled ashore as best we might
The rest Of the night we passed in tor
ture from mosquitoes in the swamr
around the lake. and when day dawne6
had terribly fatiguing walk to camp
I settled with the "shacker" for $780,
and was glad to get off so easily, car
assure you. After that thought my sor
was surely thru. but he had one othe,
trick to play, and played it next morn.
i ing-with results which am sure vii
teach him much-needed lesson
4 We were to change camp that morn,
i ing, and the guide had risen early, caugh
a few fine bass for breakfast, and white
we were enjoying our morning bath hat
packed everything in the wagon ant