The San Francisco call., 1904-02-21

man. We would sooner be waited on
by parlormaids and go in buses than
miss our four-or sometimes five
feeds a day. It is only difference in
the point of view.
Tt is therefore hopeless to expect
anything in the way Of hospitality in
London except food. Sometimes there
is a little music or little dancing, but
1t is all an excuse for food. So we turn
TO the country, hoping TO find our ideal
Of hospitality there.
There is a certain round or country
house visiting, which everybody in the
society .'treadmill," who in any way re-
speets himself, is bound to pursue.
Scotland, grouse and deer, from mid
August TO mid-October; England, CO.
vert shooting for November, December
and possibly part of January; Ireland.
possibly for few weeks hunting, 9TH
erwise England and the hunt balls.
These last two are optional, but to
spend the autumn among the grouse,
deer. partridges and pheasants is,
broadly speaking, inevitable. Then the
doors of the country houses fly open
and many strange phenomena are eX-
hibited to the view OF the observer of
hospitality.
A COUNTRY HOSTS DIFFICULTIES
OF course there are two sides to this,
as to every other question. There is
the point of view of the host and there
is the point of view of the guest. If we
had more perfect guests we should
doubtless have more perfect hosts to
entertain them. But the guest is often
a sadly annoying parsonage. This Is
strange. because IL is so easy to be a
satisfactory guest, far easier than to
be an adequate host. The guest has
only his own demeanor to order,
whereas the host has to make thou
sand arrangements for the comfort of
his guest. The satisfactory guest is al
ways pleasant and always pleased; he
has his own occupations and does not
hang heavy on his hosts hands; he is
agreeable to the other guests without
monopolizing them; he is punctual to
the minute gives the servants no ex-
ira trouble, tips them properly when he
goes away, does his host credit by his
appearance, manners and conversation
and is altogether a well-regulated in
dividual But he is rare, and instead Of
him we meet with a series of people
each very aggravating in their own
way.
There is the guest who is never in
time. This is a maddening variety. II
it is a man. he is the bugbear OF shoot
ing parties: he is never ready to start,
and disorganizes the whole plan of the
beats, which his host and his keeper
had designed TO get through before
luncheon. II IT is a lady. she always
keeps dinner waiting, spelling the fish.
the temper of the cook, and sometimes
in very aggravated cases where she is
so late that she has to be left behind,
the whole sequence of the procession
into dinner Both examples invariably
miss their trains. both coming and go
ing. and thus disarrange parties at
both ends of their visit. This type of
guest is never in the least ashamed of
his or her defects, but rather proud of
them than otherwise. They never con-
slider themselves not only rude but ex-
tremely selfish; they rather think 1t
grand and disinterested in them to take
no note of time
THE TROUBLESOME G-ES,-'.
Another very selfish guest is the one
who does not know her own mind. /
say her" advisedly. because II is al
most always a woman. This guest
never arrives on the day she has pro-
missed to arrive. or goes away when she
is expected TO do so. She should never
visit except 70 houses of the dimensions
of Windsor Castle or Chatsworth.
where one person more or less makes
no difference; in house where the ac-
commodation is limited she is an un-
mitigated nuisance but she does not
care a bit about that. She wants to
make use of her hosts, not TO make
herself pleasant to them. When she
has finally arrived. she never makes
up her mind what to do. In her mild
est form. she is the sort that answers,
''Oh. don't mind; whichever you like
when the hostess gives her the choice
Of two actions Sh> bores the hostess
who does not want to order the guests
about.
Then there is the guest who has dis
likes. This guest. on arriving at