The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1904-09-16
A FAIRY TALE.
The Different Ways Of Fine Suit
or to Win q Young Wom-
ans Love.

OnCc upou tme eueie o"S' u"
certain community u young woman
who was q swell doll Tor lair. She
WIS a good.lo,ker all right. with
lovely golden hair that was all her
own, a telephone post figure that en-
abled her to wear anything, and a
complexion that she got from nature
instead Of out OF box.
In addition to these charms, she
h ad wa6s Of Government bonds and
guiltedged securities. which had been
left to her by her late lamented papa,
and she also possessed a college edu
cation and a most sweet and admira-
BILE disposition.
Unfortunately. however, she had
one defect. She was b,Tn in Chicago
and wore number stvens on her loot.
sie-wootsies.
Now. as it may be supposed.
young woman who presented such a
bunch OF attractions was headliner
in society, and many suitors sought
to win her heart and bank book, but
to their dish ay she turned each one
down until II began To lcok "a II no
oae could please her AID she would
die an old maid.
This reduced the suitors to dispiir
aud they to, k counsel together as To
how they might best win her heart.
Tor they thought 1t shame that
mere women should have - much o.!
III. lng green. while there were so
many men with expensive tastes and
the no wo' X habit who needed rich
~iie.
Every womsn," they said TO each
other. tor they were the wise guys
'will slccumbto some TORN OF the
Jolly. and it's us 70 inl oat how t.
apply the seive whete it will 90 the
most good aud bring in the best re.
sul's"
Thereupon they renewed their suits
with fresh vigor The first to APP
proach her was a handsome young
fellow, who, falling upon his knees
before her thus addressed hei:
"Btauteous one" he cried In pas
sionate Laura Jean Libby language
that fairly sizzled with emotion, "be
mine, for your loneliness drives me
mad. Never have seeng one so fair
sodivine and ask nothing else in lie
bnt the privilege of gazing upon 1t.
Your eyes are violet drowned in
dew. Your brow is an aaoastar
dream. Your mouth Is Cupid's bow
combined with a dentifrice advertise
ments picture. Your complexion
would put rose on, Of business. and
your nose msk,s the Venue de Milo
look ss II it had come out OF three
ball Joint. In short, you have got
the Gibson girl pounded to a pulp,
and as a living picture you are ali the
money"
Instead OF falling on him at these
words az the young man expected, tor
he ha been taught that the way to
push the velvet with women was to
give them hot air about their looks,
the naughty dame handed him out
trapped smile.
"Cut 1t short" she said "for You
are merely telling me badly what ]
have already learned from my mirror.
Besid, my beauty is an accident o.
birth for which | deserve no credit
If my complexion were male by hand
instead OF by God, minht be pleased
by being praised for II, but as | had
nothing to do with It you cannot fiat
ter me by extCl,iug my looks"
The next sutton thought to make
good by hurting bouquets at her for
her graceful figure, but he met with
no better success than his predeces-
sor.
Pass mp willowy and 1.-THE bust
ness, and the way | make you think
OF startling deer" replied the young
woman, for 1t makes me tired, and !
seem to have heard it somewhere else
before. Moreover, am not travelling
on my shape"
Observing that the two ether suit
ors had not hit the bulls eye with the
bouquets that they hurled at her per-
sonal appearance, the third sutton