Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1904-06-09
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SquibS From Our Elk changes.


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TIL ere is a young MN Willie Hearst
To be President he has a thearst.
He launched his own boom,
But doubtless too soon,
For the darned old thing went and
bearSt!-Ex.
"The thing that bothers me most, u
said man the other night, lis how !
shall yet my coat ON over my wings
when l 20 to heaven. "That need
not trouble you," retorted another.
what you want to figure on ID how
to get your hat on over your horns
Elk.
The fellow who puts his pa per back
In the poStofiice to be marked "refus
Ell" when he is owing the publisher
for what he has already received, will
some day be carried by the wonderful
postal service OF the universe to the
pearly portals through which he
would like to pass. But he will be re-
fused and dumped into the general
confiagration Of the trash pile.-Ex.
This is a pretty tOpsy-turvy old
world, says an exchange. One man Is
struggling for justice another Is fee
ing from it. One man Is saving
money to buy home and another Is
trying to sell his home for less than 1t
cost him. One man is going into debt
to get married and another is spend
ing hundred Thousand plunkS to get
4 divorce One man escapes all the
diseases that flesh is heir to and gets
killed on the railroad. Another goes
on the cars every day Of his life and
dies with the whooplng cough. Such
Is life.
Is II . vision? Is 1t truth? The
farmers about Racine, Wisconsin, can
tell better than we, who must be con-
tent to swear by the dispatches.
They are sure that knot Of those
farmers made small fortunes by form.
ing cabbage trust and hanging on to
their c&bbages. The sauerkraut
factories had to buy cabbages'or
shut down. The farmers held on.
sold only In small lota, and at
last forced the price to $50 per ton.
Three OF them cleared $4,000 and
dozen others smaller amounts. II the
story III the cabbage trust Is not true,
1t ought to be. 1t will be Solemnly
believed In this shop until ton Of
afidsvltS appears. With the Process
lon, In June ESerybodys Magazine.
A Chilllcothe young woman fllrted
the other evening with mlddlc-aged
travelling man who at once caught on
and took a wvlk with the friSky
young woman" the Chilllcothe Dem
ocrat relates. "As they rambled on
be questioned her as 10 the location
)f her home and she showed him the
house, but when he asked her to take
him in she refused, saying that she
lid not want her mother TO see her
With a stranger. But the travelling
nan insisted on going In and before
Ihe could remonstrate with him he
lad seized her arm aud hurried her up
The steps to theSfront door. An elder
y lady responded to the summons.
rhe travelling man inquired II she
vas the mother Of the girl at bis side.
Receiving an affirmative reply gently
ed the girl into the hall, and turning
o the mother, said: Madam. your
laughter nirted with me on the street
his evening and l have brought her
ome to you. She doesn't look like =
ad girl and she Is altogether too
Dung and pretty to be on the streets
lone at night have 4 daughter OF
~ own about her age and / would
hank any man for doing what have
one tonight and 81 would her moth
T. TAKE good care Of your daughter
nd don't let her walk the streets at
yht, and teach her the evils OF flirt.
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