The daily sentinel., 1904-02-08
If Solomon Came to
Grand junction.


hibitive ordinances. He would find
midnight chasing. ambitious gamblers
struggling for cold storage distinction,
truancy laws. measures abolishing
prom .scuous expectoration, girls dis
conraging miscellaneous fiirtations. as
they are past masters in choice-and
many other things he knew little of
in Jerusalem, among which would be
mentioned unparalleled fruit orchards,
unsurpassed climatic conditions. un-
analyzed water and some unhindeTed
grafters. Solomon. being wise would
meet many wiser ones. and let it 90
at that for in this pushitive age he
knoweth not that the reporter is run
ming ad hbitum and ad libelem in the
land and maketh the wise man feel
that he is but the shadow of an atom.
He would striketh the girl bill collect
or and give up his g gold Of Ophir. -
like unto a royal plunger on race
course. He would bumDonski to
nic9. oily young gazaboo with lot of
paper propositions about an oil
we'll ont in some sunny spot where
the sticky prospectus would warm up,
and he would drop few talents on it
in order to encourage the promoter.
for verify he is a wise one who favors
his way with shekels and millinery
and papereth his house with wildcat
mining stock.
He would encounter that quintess-
ence of affability. the CRATER, sand
give up several from his strong box
for something that had string to it
and the hazy uncertainty of final lig-
uidation on she lnstallment plan, for
verify, the Queen of Sheba knew
naught of these deep intrigues hich
innocently shatter the wisdom appar-
atus of likewise one.
He would pause refiectively. spit on
the asphalt, and be pinched by the city
marshal. fined five dollars. and some
sad-eyed maiden would sell him
few chances on crazy quilt while
he was recovering. for the wise man
knoweth not when he is it, and has to
have it diagrammed to him. He
would lay down on the grass in the
park to think it over. and be vagged
by policeman if he didn't get busy.
and if he made erratic sidesteps or
happy lamps at the auburn haired ma.
tive he'd be nailed to the cross for
breach of promise. for now. say un-
| to you, Solomon was never up against
leap year bunch. And having duck
ed and made get away he butteth
onto a loyal subject who wisheth to
appraise his property. but AS it is
mostly millinery. he passeth the
challenge, and the commissioner put.
ieth him on the rockpile to work ort
his poll tax. Yea he slippeth up on
manv troubles. and bounceth back.
( And in the evening he committeth
the divinN and exquisite folly of at
tending card party where they play
the progressive sharpery for some lit
tie china dingbat. but knowopg that
the paraphernalia of the gambler hath
gone up in smoke, he waxeth leary
and waiteth for another raid. but it
cometh not. and he wonder eth no long
er that conviction only naileth the
uninitiated. But he stayeth out of the
I game after he trumpeth his partners S
trick and causeth her much wrath.
and endeavoreth to delightfully."- sit it
out alone. which is not to his liking SO
several pretty girls gathereth about
him and he is right in his element.
and he telleth them fairy tale of
Jerusalem being a suburb to his pal
ace. and the damsels anticipate and
strive for catch. and they ask him
if he had ever thought about getting
married, and he saith innocently. he
had not. that he had been too busy
getting married to stop to think about
it. and when thew chilly asketh him
why he didn't bring his wife along.
he replieth. which one?'' And
they throw him out. try him for big
amy. trigamy and matrimonial geom-
etry. all of which passeth his under.
standing.
And he starteth home, kicketh Ia
dog off the sidewalk and the owner
smiteth him in the eyebrow and has
him trimmed for assault and battery.
He getteth run over by motorcycle,
limpeth home and tryeth to blow out
the electric light after search for
the word strenuous.
| But being wise man he becometh a
good fellow. iavesteth in ranch and
exalteth himself to the dignity of a
landmark. and he getteth wiser as he
groweth familiar with the system he
becometh peaceful. for he hath not
heard of Sherman Bell and he liketh
the place. And it comes to pass that
he mindeth not the long drawn ont