Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-07-16

MS door, replied THE sma Hest few
ars gratefully received"
Mrs. Smith-My husband has hcen
Enjoying very poor health of late.
Mrs. Brown-How fortunate that he
can enjoy il! Very few people do
A Juryman being asked by the
Judge II he ever read the papers. re-
piled: Yes, your honor; hut If you'll
let me 40 this time, III never do 80
any more"
Fatence-See how yellow her hair
is; and ii used TO be brown PatriCe
Yes; she's been using. one Of those
yellow journals To make curl papers.
'-lonkers Statesman.
He had play produced by an
amateur company the other night,
believe. who was the hero Of il, do
you know? 2" II WAS enc. sat
through Philadelphia Ledger.
A little Maine girl came 10 her
mother one morning and said: Nam.
ma, | don't feel very welln Well,
that's too bad" said mamma; where
do you feel the worsti" I'm school"
was the prompt reply.
An elephant mast he a pretty ex-
pensive animal" Yes, / wish had
enough money to buy one" What
10 you want with an ELEPHANT Il
don't | merely expressed wish fer
the money. Philadelphia Press
She ,angrily)- Sir, understand YOU
said had Il face that would stop a
clock. He tcalmlS So did Any
we!l.reguIated clock would pause and
hold mp it's hands in admiration nj
sight Of your lovely face. ST. Louis
star
Husband who had been out West
IN business. and left his wife sOiae
blank checks)- Mary. | find you have
considerably overdrawn Mt the bank
Mary Nonsense John, how can that
be- I've two 'aose blank checks
left yet
Mrs. jerks Are you perfectly sat
isiied with your new dress? Mrs.
Speitz Yes, indeed. The man | love
best thinks It's beautiful and the
woman love least has pretended TO
turn mp her nose ut ii. Philadelphia
/ Ledger.
A cowardiy fellow, having kicked a
newsboy for Fostering him to buy an
evening newspaper, the Ind waited till
and then shouted In the hearing Of the
/ bystauders Its 40 use 10 try him,
jim. he can't Rad
Sometimes, said the poet Il mn
almost afraid that / take myself 100
seriously" "Oh. well, never mine, y
replied his klfd hearted fFiea.l,
there's no harm sietse II you tio.
/ Every body else regards you as a
/ Joke Chicago Record Herald.
Here is peculiar advertisement
which recently appeared IN Brisbane
paper: Permanent Wanted, man
! To look after one horse and few
COWS and pigs. one who can imDart
/ the rudments of French singing and
the piano to children preferred
IRA like to have your cheek for that
little midnight supper served at
. your house last month" said the
caterer. You'll have 90 walt until |
get the doctors bill for. Curing me OF
Indigestion" replied the victim. THAT
comes of your Philadelphia
Press
II know what you've come here
for" said little Willie; you're going
To ask my sister 10 be your wife"
ION. Why do you think soT' Cause
heard her telin MA she was Eoin'
Ia Kit YOU in u corner tonight and
make YOU say Chicago Record.
Herald
Moose Meadow sheriff Yes, that's
Spike Moran, alias Big Eddy. alias
linn Thornton. alias ria McDun He's
a burglar Stranger hut why do you
let him live here? Sheriff jest to fat
up the census We put him in the
directory under each name. you see.
Judge.
Don't he 100 quick TO strike an.
other, my boy said the kindly old
man. who had interrupted the iight;
always count ten before you do it,
and then" "Yeh." replied the
boy, contcmptuously mn den i'm be
de referee datlI he countin ten on
you. "-P Philadelphia Press.
.Iennle's mother was expecting com
pany. but just before train time a
telegram arrived which read: Missed
trasu. VIII start AZ same time to-
morrow Jennie rushed home from
srhoo} expecting To see the guest. but
instead WAS shown the message Aft
or reading 1t Iaboriousiy aud careful
( IN through, she exclaimed: why,
mammn. If she starts at the same time
I tomorrow. she Will miss the train
/ again"
stage Fright and SeIf-Conscionsness
stage fright is an intense form of
self-consciousness but the man who Is
incapable OF stage fright lacks the sen.
eitive temperament TO achieve great