St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1904-01-02
Scribner's
Short. Story
by Epes Winthrop SARGENT

NlIlulluIllsuauuuu IS
ChlbNER writes for the newspa.
~ PETS lot living-sometimes he
merely writes for the newspapers. II
al depends upon the men who rake
lug sunday papers whether Scrinner
snohes good cigars or plug tobacco
in q pipe.
Scr1pner has the artistic tempera-
ment. He is very proud of the tenn
permanent This is as bad as a small
oos Wnen one lives in fiat. It leads
one 70 make nasty remark to the ian
ltor. Whereat that functionary will alb
systematically remove bottled milk
from the dumb waiter while forgetting
10 remove the waste basket.
ocflDner also has typewriter. AL
though It Is Of the mechanical variety
ne speaks OF it as "she" because it is
SO contrary. That is another instance
OF the artistic temperament working
out. Scribner purchased the machine
from friend. None of the mans
enemies would purchase 1t, SO that he
nau 70 dispose of it to a friend. 1t
was about seven years old when it
changed hands.
The other day it celebrated it's tenth
birthday by losing a. screw. = Eight
times 6cribner pushed the screw back
into the hole where the thread used
70 DC. The ninth time he took it OFF
the table and headed for the nearest
public telephone station. r,F.
He telephoned the maker with some
neat to call for the machine.
Two hours later small boy ap-
peared with a twin to the decrepit
type machine, done up in black cloth.
Take this dod gasted internal ma
chine to the repair shop!" urged scrib-
ner. Tell 'em to clean it and fix it
up Then he set out to butter his
daHyE bread with a love story. Scrib-
nerWas so glad to have a new machine
70 work with he could have composed
serial romance had there been the
ghost Of q chance Of selling it. &ssE5
From the very start there was
trouble. Scribner opened the tale with
hoydenish heroine swinging upon a
loW-tanging apple bough. He had to
leave the lady up the tree while, with
prayer and fasting, he sought to dis
cover why the ribbon guide would tear
OF every time he slid the carriage up
for fresh line.
In about 20 minutes he discovered
that one of the paper guides hung too
low and caught the ribbon guide He
mended the machine with a tack ham
mer and helped the lady down from the
tree
The villain came strolling through
the orchard. The machine caught the
infection OF hts villainy. Now the rib.
bon guide fell of at the end of the
line instead of at the beginning The
remedy was easy, for the tack hammer
wasanear.
The Villain proceeded upon his GRIM
fna1 way and the hero was just spring
ing over, the low fence inclosing the
orchard when the machine suddenly
decided that twice as much paper was
needed 1t one end of the feed as at
the other. The hero def1ed the laws
.of Sr4yitation for half an hour until
Scfbner found that by backing the
sheet with six others he could induce
q more even feed.
Then the hero lightly landed, and in
half dozen strides confronted with
blazing. eyes Jack Darlington, who
stood with uplifted arm above the
covering form of Jessica Carew.
Lay but finger upon this lady,"
cried the brave Harold Vane, land
I'll"
There was whirring sound that
scared Scribner out of his seat With
the aid of a wooden plug he managed
to make the spring stay wound up and
five minutes was all the time required.
The machine ran very evenly for
fully ten minutes. Jack Darlington,
with muttered curse. had turned and
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