The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-07-24

as the family Of Mrs smithers-Pedagog
gathered at the breakfast table, don't you
want 70 be let in the ground floor of sure thng?
I do If there's no cellar under fall into when
the bottom drops out smiled Mr. Brief What's up?
You going into partnership with Mr.. Rockefeller
no said the idiot. There isn't any money in
that
WHAT" cried the Biblomaniac. no money in
q partnership with Mr. Rockefeller?"
Not cent said the Idiot After paying Mr..
Rockefeller his dividend Of los per cent the gross
receipts and deeueting expenses from what's left,
you'd find you owed him money. Ny scheme is to
start entirely basiness-one that's never been
thought Of before, ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS it at $780,
coo, of which receive $4,000 in stock for the
idea $4,000 worth of shares to so to Mr. Brief for
legal services and the balance to be put the market
al IS"
"Fhat sounds rich" said Mr. Brief Il might de-
an hour OF my time to your scheme some rainy
Sunday afternoon when there is nothing else to do
for that amount Of stock provided. of course, your
scheme has state prison string tied to it."
There isn't even ] county Jail at the end OF it,
observed the Idiot It's clean, clear and straight
1t viii I'll lODg-fet want and I il, ought to
pay 80 per cent dividends the first year. They say
figures don't lie, and am in possession of some that
tell I've got bonanza in my University Intelli-
gence Office company"
~The title sounds respectable said Mr. White
ehoker. what is it, Mr. Idiot-a sort of university
Well yes" said the Idiot ct is designed to get
university graduates settled, if you call that
upRiversty settlement scheme To put it briefly its
lnteSeDcc once LOT c0tiege graduates WneTe they
may go for the purpose of getting job, just
cooks and buffers and Wallets and the rest do. If
there's money in securing place at good wages for
the ladies who burn steaks and promote indges-
ton for US. and for the gentlemen who keep
trousers pressed and out linen, I don't
why there wouldn't be money IN institution which
old the thing for the struggling young bachelor
Of arts who IS thrown out of the arms of his Alma
Mater on the hands of cold and unappreeiative
world"
AT iastv cried the doctor at last l find sanity
in Of rfoffd of Mr.
Idiot, is worthy Of a genius / have nephew just
out of college and what earth TO do with him
body in the family imagine. He doesn't seem to
be good for anything except sitting around and letting
his hair grow long"
THAT isn't much Of a profession, is it?' said the
Idiot What does he want to dog"
that's the Irritating part Of it," observed the
Doctor. When I asked him the other night what
he intended to DO for living he said he hadn't made
up his mind vet between becoming motorman the
editor OF the South American Review. That's sat
isfactory kind of answer Ell? Especially when the
family income Is hardly big enough to keep the mod
youth in neckties"
Il don't believe any intelligence Office in creation
could do anything for a like that" sneeTed the
Biblomaniac. What that young needs is
good sound spanking, and I'd like TO give it to him..
"All right" said the doctor win a laugh I'll
see that you have the chance If you'll go out to my
sisters with me sometime next week, I'll introduce
you to Bill and you begin
why don't you do it yourself. Doctor?" asked the
Idiot noting the twinkle in the Doctors eye.
I'm too busy" laughed the Doctor. Besides
only weigh 100 pounds and Bill is six feet two inches
high and weighs 210 pounds stripped 1 think if
were armed with telegraph pole and Bill with only
toothpick as weapon of defense he could thrash
me with case. However, if Mr.. Bib wants to try it
"Send Bill torus, Doctor, said the Idiot. Il sort
OF like Bill, and I'll bet the University Intelligence
Office will get him job in forty-eignt hours.
who is willing to mote edit has adaptabity
that ought to locate him permanently somewhere
u don't quite See" said Mr.. Brief lust how you
are going to work your scheme, Mr.. Idiot. 1 must
confess rather regard Bill pretty tough prop
: osition.H
Not at ALL" said the Idiot. ~The only trouble
with Bill is that be hasn't found himself yet He's
probably of those easygoing popular youngsters
whove devoted their college days to growing Just at
present he's got more vitality than brains imagine
from his answer to the Doctor that he is good
tured huIks who could get anything he wanted in
college except scholarship. haven't any doubt that
he was beloved of all his classmates and was known
tc his fellows as Old Hoss or Beefy Bill or Blue Eyed
Billie and could play any game from muggns to pit
like hero of Bret HaTte romance"
you've sized Bill up all right" said the Doctor.
He is just that but he has brains. The only trouble
is he's been saving them up for rainy day and now
when the showers are beginning he doesn't know how
to use EN- How would you go about getting him
job Mr. Idiot?"
sBHI ought to go into the publishing business,
said the Idiot "Ie was cut out for book agent. He
has physique which, TO begin with, would command
respectful attention for anything he might have to
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