Fergus County argus. [volume] (Lewistown, Mont.) 1886-1946, 1904-11-30
WOMAN'S WIT
WINS HUSBAND
Wisconsin Woman Uses High Grade
Diplomacy to induce Her Hus-
band-to-be to Get license.
FUTURE WIFE PAYS CLERKS FEE
Would be Husband Balks at Paymen,
for License and Clever STRAIT
egem Is Used by Woman.

A comedy in real life amused Of
ficers and loungers In the county
clerks Office in La Crosse for hall
an hour Tuesday afternoon and pro
voked gales of laughter which caused
passersby to stop in front OF the
place and look in to see what had
happened, says the La crosse (Wis.)
Leader-Press. The principals in the
play were a man of about IS years
and a buxom woman of about 40,
They were after a marriage license,
Things were exceedingly quiet in
the Office when suddenly the door op'
ened and a man so aged In appearance
that some in the Office thought he
must be a centenarian, entered with
a young woman. With an ag'
g~ressiveness which 1t developed az
forwards was characteristic to the
woman she stalked up to the clerks
desk and said in a loud voice: I'VE
want an insurance to get married"
With an effort ~supressing a smile
Mr.. Rawlinson reached for his bundle
OF permits and proceeded TO business,
while others in the Office pricked up
their ears and grinned broadly.
Does 1t cost somethingT" asked the
old man.
Such a humbug business" com
mented the groom-to-be. Il will not
do it. Let the preacher pay; that is
the right. Such a swindle law as 1t
is. 1 will CO." starting toward the
door.
'Oh Lars, come back" urged the
woman in a frightened voice, pulling
him toward the desk with her hand in
his"
TOO much foolishness," replied the
man, and resumed his walk toward
the door. while the disappointed wo.
man followed him with a long face
but all the while urging and finally
commanding him to come back,
but to no avail although 1t could be
seen that she was making headw ~.
After the lapse of a few minutes the
couple returned, the woman looking
more cheerful. She had convinced
her aged lover that she would fix 1t up
with the minister so he would pay
the license fee, but in n hand which
she kept out Of sight she clasped
something tightly. She was "jollying
up" the o~ctogenarian and making
"goo-goo" eyes at him in a manner
which would have done credit to a
maid of 20 well versed in the game
OF hearts, and he was not an unwill.
ing victim.
The county clerk proceeded to bus
mess and after much questioning, the
anwering of which afforded the spec
tators great amusement got all the
information from the groom-to be on
the marriage permit.
Now who's the LADY," asked the
clerk.
why, / ami" screamed the womaL.
That was too much for the clerk
and he dropped his fountain pen an
leaned back in his chair and roarei,
while the chairwarmers nearly mad
Mysteries. The woman Joined in the
laugh too, while the old man stood
at the desk in a dazed mi and
mystified manner, as IL he could make
out what it was all about.
Finally, Mr.. RawIinson got all the
information concerning the woman he
wanted, the latter in the mean time
dividing her attention between the
clerk and the lover, who was on the
verge of running away several times
and had to be 'jollied" into staying.
When the time came for the man to
sign the permit 1t took more c~oaAing
and loving words, alternated with
threats. on the part of the woman, but
the old man finally succumbed and
did as he was told. The diplomacy
the woman used to attain this result,
those who witnessed 1t said, was re.
markably clever as well as exceeding
ly funny. More of 1t was needed
when II came time for the woman to
hand the quarter, which she held In
her hand, over to the clerk without
her lover seeing the act, and she
managed this by getting the old man
engaged in conversation with one OF
the loungers. Then she sided ur
alongside the clerks desk and with a
quick motion Of the arm, literally
dashed the coin into Mr.. RawlinsOn's
hand In a manner SO clumsy that ev
.rybody in the room with the excep
ton OF the old a was attracted to
the act. The prospective groom IL
the meantime was being greatly in
terested by one Of the gentlemen pres
ent and the bride-to-be took the op
portunity to make a few editorial com
ments regarding the affair. Some one
drew from her the assertion that the
old man owned a house and lot In ths
county and had money in the bank
and the speaker suggested that per
haps she woa.d get this some day
"Oh, I fixed that before this" sh,
bonstel.
Finally, after bandying with then
for Is minutes the crowd let tn,
couple &C. The Lld man left The
pace wearing the most contentet
smile in the world. pleased that h,
had finally secured the license with
out expanding any money, while tn,
woman marched out with her heat
held high, greatly elated over the sue
css OF her strategy and grasping tn,
childish old man by the hand like
mother with a little boy. MI. Raw
linson said that Of all the peculiar ex
~periences he had had with people de
string marriage licenses, this one ha'
all the others beaten by a Thousand
miles, while the chairwarmers drie'
their eyes and unused on the clever
less Of woman, even though she be on
ly a common working woman. AM
the simplicity and blindness of ma
in general.