The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-06
BEING GOOD BY PROXY.

1t is to be feared that this is an
unpious age that takes it's Lent light
ly. Nowadays when we don our sack
cloth it is silk lined, and all our ashes
are ashes of roses, nevertheless Lent
is a time when the thoughts of even
the most worldly turn to righteous
ness, and thus we are enabled to OBJ
.shrve one of the most remarkable
phenomena of the feminine temporal
ment-woman's ability to be good by
proxy.
This is a distinctly feminine ac-
complishment. When a man thinks
about being good he begins with
himself He stops drinking, or swear
ing, or playing poker, or whatever
his particular vice was. When a wom-
an decides on leading the higher life
she turns the batteries of her noble
resolutions. and directs her reform
against somebody else. She doesn't
even contemplate giving up gossiping,
or bridge, or bargain sales, or the
thing that was her besetting sin. On
the contrary, she contrives to enjoy
her own little vices in peace and con-
and zeal to trying to make her hus-
band quit smoking, or give up his
modest glass of beer and she feels
that she is entitled to a high place
among those who have performed
works of supererogation if she can
harasS him into resigning from his
club.
If further proof were wanted of
woman's noble and altruistic nature
it could be found in the fact that
all the great reforms inaugurated by
women have had the suppression of
the vices of men for their object and
this, too, when there was plenty of
need of her looking to her own fences.
1t has never yet occurred to the woman
reformer to tackle the vices of her
own sex. All of women's anti-socie-
ties deal with the things that they
are opposed to men doing. You never
hear of the Christian Woman Tenn
perance Talking Union, or the Moth
ers' League for SURPRISING Bad Chill
dren, or the Anti-Gadding Society, yet
the abuse of the tongue has done as
much harm in the world as the abuse
of liquor, and there are no other
wrongs comparable with the crime of
raising up bad and spoiled children,
and maintaining an ill-kept home.
1t is a soothing and unselfish idea
that our brothers souls need our at
during Lent, when all of the feminine
ethical societies get busy, we are
treated to the amusing spectacle of
hordeS of reformers who are enjoying
all Of the sacred pleasures of being
reformed without any of the penalties
of giving anything up that they want
ed to do, and who are filled with a
feeling of self-righteous virtue because
they have formed a. league to abolish
betting in pool rooms or chewing to-
bacco. or something that they never
did anyway.
Nor is this ability of woman to be
good by proxy confined to her public
acts. Every woman who is married
to man who lets her hen-peck him
considers herself a good wife and con-
graduates her husband upon having
married such a domestic treasure.
The feminine idea of wifely duty is
getting along smoothly with a man
who doesn't dare to contradict you
and who never interferes in the house
keeping. His humble attitude of ac-
quiescence never counts, though in
reality his wife may be only amiable
because she is never crossed.
Likewise, a woman always considers
herself a good mother when her chill
dren happen to be born with healthy
constitutions, and are lucky enough
not to take the measles, while the
feminine definition of a good friend is
another woman who will lend us her
new sleeve pattern before she has used
it herself, and who will let us dictate
to her about her clubs and whom she
will invite to her pink tea. We fire.
quently admire our own disposition
because we get along tremendously
with people who will refrain from rub
bling us the wrong way.
When, it comes to economy it is
somebody else's extravaganza that
woman usually lops off first. wom-
an in boasting of her achievements in
this line once said to me: why, L
made my husband wear the same suit
of clothes for three years" But this
same woman explained that it was
economy for her to go to the best
dressmaker Anyway, she cut off all
of her husbands indulgenceS, and
they got rich, and to this day she al
ways attributes their success to his
having such an economical wife. A
man never knows until after he is
married that 1t is economy to give up
cigars in order that you may put the
money in bric-a-brac. A woman's
burnt offerings are usually made of
somebody else's taste.
Self-sacrifice has always been re-
garded as woman's star virtue, but
even in this she generally manages to
sacrifice somebody else instead of her
prompted Artemus Ward, in a burst
of patriotism, to declare that he was
willing to sacrifice all of his wife's re-
lations to put down the rebellion.
Women are unconscious of this, but
when you hear one railing at the friv-
olity of fashion you may be sure that
she is too lazy to dress, and when you
hear one assert that she believes in
plain living and high thinking, and
that she sets her face against the
pleasures of the table, you may rest
assured that she is a dyspeptic who
has no appetite anyway.
The phase of this mania, however,
that women have for being good by
proxy that is most Objectionable. and
that is in peculiar evidence during
Lent is the habit they have of maxi
ing somebody else foot the bills for
their charity. In every city through
out the country there is a coterie of
women who Guido the scriptures in
not letting their left hand know what
their right hand gives for their pock-
et-book never finds it out at all. They
sustain a fourishing reputation for
generosity and philanthropy, and the
conspicuous on hospital committees and
orphan asylum boards. They are the
head and front of every church fair.
MM ~ WvTwM ~ EsNA