The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-27

Of hattering interest that is just as salts
factory to the donor as tho you we're
ready to put it to practice.
when I had duly taken counsel with
myself over the troubled question of my
manner toward my husbands family,
followed the suggestions have just laid
down, and found that they worked like
charm. I conducted myself as tho
were visiting my good friends and not
my own family, and thereafter I was
welcomed In the home of my newly ac-
CURED family with a warmth and genu-
lneness that could not doubt and that
I always enjoy"
but. then, there IS the problem Of the
mother In law" began my confidante.
Suppose she does not like your
"Oh, but she will if you go about her
in the right way" insisted, "and don't
forget that she Is your husbands mother,
and therefore the rightful claimant to spe-
cial civilities on your part. Learn be-
forehand the title by which she likes best
to be addressed, and employ that always
in speaking to her. Don't resent it be-
cause she weeps at your wedding. and
looks more like the chief mourner at a
funeral than one of the important figures
on a feStal occasion.
IF you have not charity for the feelings
OF others you have not really good man
ners, and some day you may be mother
inlaw yourself and know how it feels to see
your son pledge all his love and devotion
and life to another woman. Do not make
another mistake, so common with young
wives, Of misinterpreting the natural reti-
cence and somewhat chilly diffidence Of
your mother-ln-law's manner. when she
first meets you, into a deliberately given
indication that she does not like you.
DO not, in short, be either sensitive or
suspicious. I attended wedding only
the other day where the bride made this
common and unhappy mistake. Not until
the day before the wedding did she meet
her mother-in-law, little old lady who
had lived long in widowed secluslon In a
small country town. and, as was natural,
she felt quite dazzled and disturbed by
the grand home Of the TALL splendidly
gowned girl her son intended to marry.
1.-THE fright made her stiff and silent,
and the bride-to-be thoughtlessly inter-
preted this into evident dislike and a wish
on the old lady's part to keep her at
arms length, and worse still, into disap-
prevail Of her sons choice of wife. In
eager retaliation she treated the venerable
lady with a manner that only thinly yelled
her antagonism, and then the misunder-
standing between them was quickly, deep
ly and everlastingly rooted. Criticism has
flowed freely from either side and wrought
wounds that can never be healed, and
that Is a pity because they are both Of
them admirable ladies, and their connec-
conspicuous success.
1.-THE trouble arose from the fact that
the bride knew nothing at all of the art Of
managing mother law There is a way
to manage her, and my one daughter-in-
law knows how to do 1t. She was a
| stranger to me, and not a native of my
part of the country. and cannot say that
I was charmed with the idea Of my son 8
marriage. Like the major portion of moth
ers who have fine, tall sons, I thought no
woman quite equal to the dazzling posi-
ton Of his wife.
Frankly 7 admit that felt sad and
shy and nervous at the idea Of meeting
this miss from California, who had won
his heart, and when I saw that she was
not beautiful or well dressed, I felt as
tho cold water had been dashed in my
face. But not so one moment afterward.
beaming smile. saying, without any for
| NAL Introduction: 49,.
"I would have known you anywhere
in the world as his mother, you are so
| like, and is he not the handsomest finest
and best Of mem" and with that she
| lifted one Of my hands and kissed it with
a little air Of grateful Difference that would
| have won the heart of~the proudest queen.
II have never considered since whether
my daughter-in-law is beautiful or we'll
dressed, nor regretted her lack Of fine fea-
| lures or taste in clothes. because am SO
| filled with pride over her cleverness in
| knowing exactly how to manage her
! mother -in-laW.' Adelaide Gordon.