The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

He must have died hard another
would murmur- They say the wicked
die hard always.
"A third friend exclaimed: He eheat-
ed ne once out of 5000. j loaned
the money to him without security.
it,
At this the hypochondrlac sat up in
his coffin.
You lie, George he said. bitterly.
But Or, Gray pushed him back,
whispering to him to remember he was
dead.
But when the old and trusted ser
want said to him Ia q loud voice. Well.
the old curmudge0n Is gone, and am
glad OF it, the hy9ochOudriac could
contain himself no longer. He leaped
out Of the coffin and seized the servant
by the throat.
You ecoundrel,' he exclaimed. 7
- But a great shout of laughter
went up; the patient seemed for the
first time 20 realize his folly; he turned
and went out for & walk, and never
again did he permit his hypochondria
TO make fool of him. Boston Post.
The bad man rarely comes to the
country circus intending TO be bad. He
merely desires to give some rein to d
natural spirit of humOr. Three or four
or them VIII drift in t0gther, and as
they move around the chopped shaw
ings Of the menagerie tent il is evident
from the fine abandon OF their gait
that they have primed themselves for
the business with all thorouEhness.
Chawbacon Sid" brings the other TO
halt before the lion cage. stop right
here, boys; stop right here. I've got
10 go IN there and samson a few Of
them animals. And once / get their
Jaws open I'm gOin' 10 reach down a
little and jest pull EN- plum inside outt
That's what old Daniel should "a done.
II I'd a had the chance that that man
had I'd "a done sOmethin' you could
blow on brass about
But they drag him on. Johnny the
Woodbutcher' having begun 10 CRAWL
tate powerfully toward the elephants
NOW, here's where YOU got To keep
t.gnt a-hOlt OF met he announces. for
I've mad bunch agen elephants ever
since ] was Whaled with a tVO-horse
tug fer not KNOWN how 10 spell 'em.
l could spare lions, but If YOU was to
let me loase on them elephants Td
shure do EN- HARM Another is even
more jocose. As fur as I'm consumed,
IA Jest like to rastle a few. playful
Ike, With that loD-eared old bull over
there only I'm right down scared ?
might give him fail thatd break his
CoIlaTbOner'
So they lurch on into the exhibition
tent The animal men breathe freely
again, but the UsheTs i'm the arena do
not Frequently enough the visitors
stop at the entrance torch. Now I
recken, William" one OF them viii ju-
qiciaiIy assert reckon / could shoot
out that shandelyeer a heap sight
Guicker'n any man in this tent" He
does not lack for takers. With earnest
emulation they unlimber their guns and
take their turn BY the time they have
extinguished one Iuminary 1t is only
natural that other equally emuious
citizens are shooting at the rest of
them all the way down the line. And
the circus people must either stop them
or prepare to fight the audience, wrath
fully a-bellow on the benches. What
ever side they choose, it is generally
the wrong one, and sorrow is their pOr-l
ton. i
In the south and west "show day IS
q kind of hugely magniied court day
Everybody is IN town, and all such
belligerents as have been cunning for
each other during the preceding weeks
may safely, or Unsafely, count upOIs
meeting then. In Nashville the man
81 he'sine hold TIVE men apart who
had whipped out their weapons on
sight IN the middle OF the crowd at
the entrance alleys. He afterWard
learned, with various feelings, that
they were father and son,-Arthur =.
McFarlane, in Philadelphia Post.