Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1904-07-30

I'm called Teller citizen.
Who gifts up when there's q fight,
Fur To prove the nations right
Never mindin bout the pay
That he DRAWN by the day?
who pays tor the hshtin'. too,
ROundin ont the revenue,
Proud to help his countrymcn-
It's the ''feller citizen
Washington Star.
The late Phil May spent several
years, when Il very young man. IN
Australia. Here he met his first sue
cess as a comic artist. but not until he
had experienced his share OF ups ana
downs.
Six months after he left England a
London friend, who has since achieved
fame as /. dramatic critic, also went
out to Australia to seek his fortune
He, too, soon encountered ups and
downs, and during one Of the latter
happened upon cheap restaurant III
AN obscure street OF Sydney to order
frugal meal. After studying the bill
of-fare earnestly he looked up at the
waiter and was startled to recognize
in this person his friend May.
PHIL he said sOlmenly, lis it posi-
BILE that you work here?"
SELF up with great dignity and throwing
his napkin over his arm, lit is possible
that | work here. / do work here. But,
Sir. I'd have you to understand that
don't eat here. I'm not down to that
yet"-Philadelphi Post.
Ex-Governor Winthrop Murray Crane
of Massao husetts related this cOnven-
ton story to a couple of friends while
ut the Manhattan, Wednesday last.
The story was told to him, he said, by
IN acquaintance who was in st. Louis
| convention there.
The incident in the story" said the
governor. occurred at a Democratic
meeting for workingmen in a small hall
some distance from where the Demo-
cratic convention was being held. The
story as it was told TO me went, as
nearly as | can repeat it. like this:
"'FellOw citizens said the orator Of
the meeting. passionately, as he
brought his fist down with a bang on
| the table. what, I ask. are the Re-
rublicans bringing our country to"
And echo answers "What?"'
Excuse me. sir interpOsed man
| in the audience Che must have been n
good Republican,, rising to his feet:
| die l understand your question to be
What are the Republicans bringing
our country TOP
~ es, sir
land you say Echo answers
w hat?'"'
THAT is what l said, sir
Then there's something mighty
wrong with the acoustics of this build
ing said the man in the audience, as
| ne sat down.
War has its humorous side" said
| General Nelson A. Miles, though thu
hum0r is always grim.
In one of my most perilous Indian
campaigns l overheard group of
lrivates saying good night to one
another on the eve of an engagement.
These youths We're in different regi-
nents. They knew the coming fight
would be 4 hot one. They knew that
they would never see one another
again.
And so. as they separated. one Of
them said:
We'll. goodby, boys. AS the coons
said when the dogs made after them.
We'll all meet at the hatters"'"
The editor Of a flourishing journal in
4 northern California town recently
called ut the home of the brides par
ents' the day after the wedding. He
was DESTROYS of telling his readers all
ABOUT the event and wished to give the
young couple 4 good send-off as well.
The brides mother met him.
GOOD morning, Mrs. JONES'" said the
editor. i've called to get some Of the
details of the wedding"
Goodness" replied Mrs. Jones IN dis.
may. they're all gone. You ought to
nave come last night. They ate evorv
scrap. San Francisco Bulletin.
once there We're two sisters. one Of
Mh"m was noted for the expensiveness
aili variety OF her dresses VIII le the OF her
was commented upon for tho simplicity
OF her attire. 1t was known that sht, had
maze one dress DO for three seasons. also
Now there came two princes saekino
wives. And the first prince said. ~ will
marry the girl who has always worn such
expensive clothes. because she will have
mad her I'll Of finery and will be content
bills ut the modiste's'
The second prince said: Il will marry
, other girl for she has already shown
" ."''Pc'i'ioii anu EfSteS and ought to
make a jewel of a wife,
But after they We're married. the girl
VINO bad always dressed so simply went
III Tor the costliest garb she could get
she Safd she must make up for lost time.
And the other girl wore more expensive
dresses than ever. because she said. il
would never do to permit her sister to
Guido her.
rms lesson teaches us that ore man
can guess as well az another-Life,
friend of mine an overwhelmed edi-
tor said Senator Depew, took last sum
mer ms first vacation in seventeen years
lie went to rugged New England dis
trlct. quaint village that nestled at the
deep lake.
He arrived on a bright. fine morning.
ana so greatly was he pleased with the
sranueuT OF the scenery and with the
pure ana perfumed air that. setting out
LOT little exercise. he soon found him
sell ieaping fences. running. singing and |
oamcing through the country like a child |
suddenly as he skipped around q curve
OF quiet road, hand was laid on his |
into his.