Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1904-01-01
~NONO~0N~~

guise e'-Chicago Record Herald
The Explanation; He says he moves
in the best society" so he does; he
OWNS furniture van" Smart Set
Quite Dlfferent-She-And what
would you be now if it weren't for my
money? He-A baehelor.-Tit- Bits.
Politician-Congratu Sarah,
I've been nominated. Sarah with de.
light-Honestly? Politician-What
differences does that make ?-Detroit
Free Press.
Doctor-Want to get up, Ell? All,
thought my medicine would fetch you
out of bed. Tommy-Yes. an then,
besides, | seen circus poster.-Phlla.
delphia Bulletin.
/ The Reward of Economy.-Kwote
WHAT'S that old saying? Take care
of the pennies, and" Newitt-And
the dollars will take care of your heirs
Philadelphia Press.
Wederly-Why don't you get mar.
ried? Singleton-I can't afford it.
Wederly-Can't afford 1t! Why, when
l was your age | was 50 poor that
had to marry.-Chicago News.
Il won't be good, said Willy.
Then Santa Claus won't bring you
any presents" Wasn't | bad last
year, and didn't | get moren ever?"-
/ Cincinnati Commerclal-Tribun
Knew what struck him: Daly-Ye
We're sunstruck, ye say? Why man
alive, the sun could never disfigure a
mans face like that. Riley-Ye don't
know me son, Daly.-Brooklyn Life.
Sword swallower ''Yes, John has
quit accepting invitations to dinner at
the Bagsleys'" He has? Why, what's
the matter?" He says their knives
are so sharp they cut his mouth. Elk.
He-rhere is one thing in particular
| like about spinsters. She-And what
is that? He-They never bore fell
low by telling him how they used to
do and that before he was born.-
New Yorker.
j Disabled: why don't you eat your
pie, Uncle Reuben? Don't you like
pumpkin pie?' Yes. like it all right,
but that young woman you've got help
in you around here took my knife
away. Chicago ord-Herad
Bride (disconsolately)-Ha my wed.
ding presents are chep plated things.
Mother-Never mind, my dear; no one
will suspect it. | have hired two de-
tectives to make themselves conspicu-
Gus watching them.-New York Week.
] ly.
Lady Visitor Ito little girD-What
became of the little kitten you had
here once? Little Girl-Why, haven't
you heard? Lady Nisitor-No. Was
lie drowned? Little Girl-Why, no. 1t
growed up to be cat.-Illustrat
Bits.
Dashaway-A few short hours ago l
was sitting with u girl. telling her
she was the only one in all the world
| ever loved, and so forth, and so forth.
Cleverton-And she believed you,
didn't she? How could she help it?
Why, l believed it myself. Life
Mother-You can't stay In this hot
city. Why don't you tell your husband
you must go to n summer resort?
Bride-I-I don't dare. Mother-Why
not? Bride-If he says no" will be
miserable because | can't GO and if he
says yes | will be miserable because
he can live without me.-New York
Weekly.
Setting Himself Right: What do
you consider the greatest object of in
terest in England?" asked the inter-
viewer. "Well' answered the great
lecturer from abroad, Il arrived here
yesterday, and--" "Of course"
exclaimed the interviewer, apologetic-
ally. Il meant the greatest object of
interest next to yourself Tit Bits.
Miss Bosting-It couldn't have been
very comfortable automobilng along
that back road yesterday Miss Flurt.
ey-Oh, did you see Mr.. Huggard and
me? Miss Bosting-Yes, and when |
saw you, you We're oscillating from
one side to the other, Miss Flurtey-
oh, that's tib. The osculating was
all on his lde.-Philadelphia Press.
The Dominant Janitor; Mrs. Mccall
And what did you say your eldest
boys full name was? Mrs. De Coursey
Michael Brannigaa De Coursey.
Mrs. Wcll-er-that's rather
odd Mrs. De Coursey hut, you
see, when he was born we didn't want
10 move out. Mr.. Michael Braunigan
was the janitor- -Philadelphil. Press.
The Strategy of Samuel: Proud
Father tell you, sir, thai boy OF
mine will be wonder. Friend wear
ily)-What wonderful thing has he
done now? Proud Father-Why, the
other day he ate all the preserves in
the pantry. overheard him say, as
he smeared the cats face with the
stuff: I'm sorry. Tom. TO do this but
cant have the old folks suspect