The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-08-05
GETTING OUT OF THE ARMY.
Means Used by Recruits Who Would
Not Desert.
From the Kansas city Star.


"a number of years ago." said the
captain, Il was stationed in the West,
and during time when the Indians
were not as good citizens as they are
now, We frequently had to make
hikes after them and bring them
! back to the reservation.
"A large batch of recruits
rockies as we called them-arrived
at the post. Among them was big,
nne-looking fellow, who showed from
his bearing and general get-up that
he was to the manner born Each
captain hoped that he would get the
fellow in his company, for he had the
earmarks of a good company clerk
and future nom commissioned officer.
The captain who was lucky enough to
get him learned nothing about him
except that he was from New York
and wanted to see life in the army.
A little while after dinner, at noon,
the first sergeant looked for the new
man, but could not find him about
the barracks of the company He
sent men to hunt in the other bar
racks, but no trace could be found of
| him. About this time the telephone
connecting the commanding officers
quarters and the guardhouse began to
sound Off most furiously.
THE officer of the guard replied and
the commanding officers remarks were
about like this, and delivered in most
excited tone:
Lieut.. Smith came over to my
| quarters at once with half a dozen of
| the guard. There is a wild, crazy man
| in my house. one of the recruits that
came this morning, and he needs at
tention. Hurry along!'
Lieut.. Smith went at a double time
| with several members of the guard
| across the parade ground to the quar-
| ters of the commanding officer, who
met him at the front porch.
That rookie" is just wild crazy.
he said. Take him to the guardhouse
and send for the surgeon. He is a fit
subject for a straitjacket."
The officer of the guard went into
the house and found the fine looking
fellow seated at the dining room table
with a glass of whisky and water in
front of him. His feet were on the
| table and he was smoking a cigarette.
| He asked the officer of the guard to
| join him. which offer was declined.
| When told to come to the guardhouse
lively mix-up took place between the
| fine young fellow and the guard. He
| was finally overcome and placed in a
| straitjacket by direction of the sur
| geon, who pronounced the man raving
| mad.
What took place in the commanding
officers house was told by the officer
next day. He said that on his return
| to his quarters he heard the pianos GO
! ing, and on walking into the parlor
he discovered the man seated at the
piano playing some soft piece beauti-
! fully. He yelled:
What are you doing here? When
the man calmly turned around on the
piano stool and softly said:
Hold up. my man, till l finish this
| piece; it is most lovely. l will attend
to your case when l am through, but
you must not worry me now
He then spun around on the stool
and finished the piece with a loud
| finale. BY this time the colonel was
wild, and yelled:
What in the blankety blank do you
mean by this?'
THE fine young fellow spun around
on the stool, and, holding both ears in
his hands as If the yelling of the col
onel hurt his ears, replied softly:
Now, my man. if you have any
trouble to state to the commanding
officer, tell him quietly, but do not yell
so. for If you do I will be compelled to
send you to the guardhouse and that
| quickly. Now. tell me what is the
trouble. for l will not have any man
on my post badly treated. and you APP
pear to be laboring under some excite
THE colonel was speeches. as the
fine young man arose and said:
Well, come in and have a drink
with me. That may make you feel bet
| ter
The surgeon sent off papers recon-
| mending that the man be sent to the
asylum at Washington, as he was I'M.
| doubtedly insane. The father of the
| fine young fellow got wind of the mat
ter. and in few days arrived at the
post with a discharge for him and took
! him away. He went quietly and moth
! ing more was heard of him for some
time, when the truth of the matter
came out II seems that the fine young
fellow was the son of a rich business
man in New York. He was a college
| graduate and had hit the pace for
some time. One day he made a bet of
1000 that he would enlist in the army
! and get out within a month without
deserving buying out or making use of
any political influence. And he did so
with seven days grace"
The captain was once stationed in
| California. at a post nowhere near In
dams, except those in the front of the
cigar stores in the nearby city. Among
| the batch of recruits came big, husky
| fellow who was very quiet and we'll
| liked by the men of his company. In
few weeks the man seemed to grow
| quieter and TO stay by himself and
have little to say TO any one. one
! afternoon he was excused from dress
parade by the surgeon on account Of
sickness. Just as parade was formed
| the big fellow was seen TO rush across
the parade In front OF the commanding
officer. In his hands he carried a pair
Of lineman's climbers. He stopped at
the foot OF the tall nagstaff. and before
he could be stopped he had strapped on