The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1904-08-26
TRIALS OF THE CRITIC.

TRIALS or THE CRITIC.
Life is poor thing at best, but it
is worse than miserable when one
lives in the house with an aspiring
dramatist, says the Baltimore News"
The curious about the ameteur dram
atist is that he always must have an
audience. He is not content to 90
into his den, shut the door and write
for his own pleasure and profit, but
he insists on having the ideas of one
at least, of his martyr-like family.
"Come here" he'll say, emerging
from what he is pleased to call his
workshop, with the speed of an ex.
press train. "Come here and see
what you think of this situation"
Probably the adviser he chooses is
at that moment busily engaged in
darning stockings, but if so, that
does not excuse her. She must
straightway put down her work and
try to imagine herself in theater,
with beautiful scene set and beau
tiful heroine going through all the
agonies that are read by the author
of deep bass voice. If the critic is
wise in her generation, sue will say
the thought is an excellent one, no
matter what she may really think on
the subject.
If she does this all is we'll, and If.
ter short time she is allowed TO go
back to her .darning. If, however,
she has dreams of being a real help to
the dramatist, and so says frankly
that she does not think much of the
situation, and that she is sure it would
be improved by so and so happening,
then she not only ruins her own repu-
tation as woman of taste and discre-
ton, but far from helping the drama
fist, she throws him into Fl of sulks,
makes him feel uncertain that his
play will be the greatest Of modern
times, and renders him unhappy for
the remainder of the day.
The road of the critic is hard road
to "trable," verify.
If she dares really crlticise she
renders herself frightfully unpopular,
and if she says quite impartially that
everything that is read to her is good,
after a time she finds that uncon-
sciously she has won the reputation
of being a person of no discrimination
whatsoever.
No matter what she was doing, her
mind is supposed to be of quality
that can suddenly divorce itself from
all else and think seriously whether it
would be better for the heroine to
say.
"Have care sir, my servants will
avcny" any .'isrespcct!' or to murmur
- oderick, my love at last"
Sometimes the cnaos in the mind of
the domestic critic is something Ike
this
"Oh! yes, dear; I think it would be
much better to have her find out he
is in love with the other girl in the
start. 1t would give 80 much op-
portunity for self-sacridce-we will
have roast Of beef for dinner, Maggie,
and strawberry chortcake for dessert
40, don't think I would have
her of vengeful nature, either. A
woman who can give up her lover ap
peals so much more to an audience
Maggie must take Johnny to the
nursery. Give him piece of cake,
and then he will go with you quietly,
won't you, darling! Going to have
the william remorseful and penitent in
the end, are you? Yes, think that
will do, but wouldn't it be better to
never mind then, dear, if you don't
think it would. Don't frown SO
abominably. No, Nellie, it wasn't a
shirt waist pattern I wanted you to
get down town, it was some birdsee."
And so on ad libitum, sandwiching
household orders with dramatic criti-
cism of high character.
Once there was a dramatist who
told all his friends proudly that he
kept pencil and paper beside his bed
so that if Illuminating thought hap
pened to strike him in the night he
could at once light the night lamp and
jot it down.