davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

table. IF you want to buy this m, S.
sage back at any time within the next
sixty days, Doctor, TIT give you lie re-
fusal Of If without extra charge
And he folded the paper up aud put
+ it away in his p0cketbook.
DO the banks really ask for So much
I security when they make sOan?'
P asked the Poet
Hear him. viii YOU" cried the Idiot.
There's your lucfly man. He's Iever
B had 10 face a bank president in ORDER
2 10 avoid the cold glauces uf laa grocer.
No cashier ever asked Dim Pow many
times he had been sentau ed ~ states
I prison before he'd discount his note.
DO they ask securityf Security isn't
the name for it. They dem2ad a tlcCk-
ade, establish a quarantine fICV rec
quire the WOuld-be debtor ID build up
a wall as high as Chmb0r1z9 and as
invuuerable as Gibraltar be wcen
them and loss before thcy viii part
with a dime Why they would 6ie-
count q note Go his own ordsr for An-
drew Carnegie for II ceuts wilalut bis
endorsement. Do they ask securityi'
Well didn't know said ae Poet.
81 never had anything TO 2o Hth
banks except as small depositor i'm
the savings bank.
Fortunate man." said the IQi3t ~
wish / could say as much f tonoH cd
$500 once from bank and what the
deuce do YOU suppose they dies.
y don't know" said the Poet.
"What?"
They made me pay it back. said the
Idiot murnfully. although ] needed It.
just as much when &c was due as when
i borrowed 81. The cashier was friend
Of mine too But 7 GOT even with EN-.
J refused to borrow another cent from
their darned cid institution. IhFy i0st
my custom then and here. If ID hadn
been for tha iuconsiderate act should
probably have gone on borrowing froa
Them for years. aaa iastEad 0f Owing
them nothing today as 4 d4 snouEi
have been the.r deatsr In tee tUae or
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

two or three thousand dollars "
Don't yOu take any stock in what
the Idiot tells You I'm that matter. MT.
Poet" said Mr. Brief. 1.-The national
banks are perfectly justified lin protect
ing themselves as they do. If they
didn't demand collateral security
they'd be put out OF business I'M fifteen
minutes. by people like the Idiot who
consider it hardship TO have 20 pay
uD.
AS The president said when DE was
asked the name of his secretary Of the
treasury. Pshav" retorted the Idiot.
Likewise fudge-a 81 mole painful of
Judges. ] done object 10 paying nay
debts. Fact is i know of mo greater
pleasure. What [ do object to is The
kind of collateral the banks demand.
They always want something a man
hasn't got and, in most cases, hash {
any chance of getting. III I had a lhou-
sand dollars bond I wouldn't need Co
borrow Eve hundred dollars; yet when
J. go 20 The bank and ask for The five
hundred the thousand dollar bond is
what they ask for.
Not always said Mr.. Brief "lf
You can get your note endorsed you
can get the money.
That's true enough. but fellows Ike
myself can't always induce Mr. Rookie
ieheF or MF morgan or even JOnu W.
Gates. who doesn't mind an occasional
long shot TO do the endorsing, said
the idiot.
Besides. under the endorsement plan
YOU merely ask another man 10 be- ra-
sponsihle FOR your debt, and that isn't
fair The whole system is Wrons
Every man 90 his own collateral I say.
Give me the bank that viii lend money
20 the chap that needs IL on the seeuir-
it's If his own product Alr white
ch0ker say IS short ora cash and Ions
Oh sermons. My style of bauk wouid
fake one barrel of his sermens ald
salt em down in the safe deposit eoia-
uaHf as security far the money ae
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

time IT is reasonable to suppose his
clients win get into some new trouble
that VIII keep him going as a paying
concern for fifteen more. There isu't
a field Of human endeavOr I'm which q
man applies himself industIiOusly that
does not produce something that should
be negotiable security
How about bUrglars2 queried the
BibhOmauiac
"I stand corrected said the Idiot.
''The burglar Is an exception. but then
he is an exception also at the banks
The expert burglar very seldom leaves
any security for what he gets at the
banks. and SO be isn't affected by the
situation one way or the other
"Oh, we'll" said Mr. Brief rising,
its only a pipe dream ali the way
through. They might start In on such
a proposition. but b. would never last.
When you went i'm 10 borrow fifteen
dollars putung NJ Your idiocy a. cci-
lateral the emptiness Of the whole
scheme would reveal itself
You never can tell.' observed the
Idiot. Even under their present sys-
TEN the banks have done worse than
that
Never cried the lawyer.
Yes, sir" replied the Idiot "Oniy
the other day ! saw i'm the paper that
q bank out in Oklahoma had loaned
man ten thousand dollars on $4,000
shares of Hot Air preferred.
And is that worse than idiocy2 de-
mauded Mr. Brief
Infinitely, said the Idiot. IF bank
lost fifteen dollars on my idiocy 1t
would be out So $500 less than that
Oklahoma Institution Is on It's Hot Air
loan"
"Bosh What's hot air worth On The
exchange today2
"As a selling proposition, zero ana
commissions of. said the Idiot fact
is they've changed it's name I'D is now
known as international hitting.
Copyright 1908 by IS = Holmes
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

A MESSENGER had just brought
"a a collect telegram for the Doc
Tor and that gentleman. after go
ing through all his pockets and finding
nothing but a bunch Of KEYS and pre-
scriptiou pad. made the natural i'm
qUiry.
Anybody got a Quarter?"
Ell have said the Idiot. cone Of the
Tare mintage OF 1903. circulated for "a
short time only and warranted good as
new"
~ didn't know the 1903 quarter was
rare said the Bibliomauiac who
prided himself 0n being q Numismatist
or rare ability N no told you the 1903
quarter was raTe2'
My old friend Experience" said the
Idiot
What's rare about it?" demanded
the Bibllomauiac
'Why-it's what they caU ready
money. spot cash. the real thing With
The water squeezed out. selling at par
Pn sight, explained the Idiot. "Mn-
lons of people never saw one, and uu-
Der modern conditions III is very difh-
Gun 10 amass them in any considerable
quantity What is worse, even m you
happen 60 get one Of them it is next f0
Impossible 20 hang 0n 10 &c without un-
usual effort. lf you have "a 1903 quarter
in your pocket somehow 0r other the
idea that il IS in your possession seems
TO cuamun cate itself TO others. and
every effort is made To lure 1T away
from you on some preteKt or other.
Excuse nee for iHterruptiHg this lee
ture OF yours Mr. Idiot said the Doc
l0r. amlably, but would you mind
lending me that quarter DO pay this
messenger I've left my change in my
other clothes"
triumuhantly. 'tne words are mo- sooner
out Of ms mouth than they are verified
Hardy q minute elapses frqm the time
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22
John Kendrick Bangs.

needs. Mr.. Poet here finding the sum
mer approaching and not a cent ia
hand 90 repienish his wardrobe, should
be able TO secure an advance Of two or
three hundred dollars on his sonnets,
r0ndeaux and lyrics. one dollar for
each S250 sonnet. And so on. The
grocer should be able 80 borrow money
ON his dried apples, his vinegar pickles,
his canned asparagus, and other non
perishabie assets, such as dog biscuit,
BOquefort cheese and California raisins.
The tailor seeking an accommodation
of five hundred dollars should not be
asked how many times he has been
sentenced 10 Jail for arson, and &C.
quired to pay in ten thousand shares
of steel common iu order to get his
grip On the currency, but should be- ap-
preached apDropria teIy and asked how
many pairs Of trousers he was willing
90 pledge as security for the loan
II don't know where ] would come in
ON Jhau proposition. said the doctor,
There are times when We physicians
need money too
'Poohr' said the Idiot. You are not
a nom producer 1T doesn't take a very
smart doctor these days 20 produce
patients, does its I9u could assign
your eases 90 the bank one little case
of hyp0chondria alone ought TO be a
sufficient guarantee OF "a steady income
for years. property managed. IL you
haven't learned how TO keep yeur
patients in such shape that they have
10 send for YOU two or three times a.
week, you'd better go back 90 the medi-
c8l school and III yourself for your real
work in life. You never knew a
plumber go Doe so careless OF his in
lerests as to clean or job all at ence,
and what HE plumber Is To the house-
hold, The physician should be TO the
individual Same way with Alr. Brief.
With the machinery 81 abe law In its
present shape snefe IS absoiuCciy uo
excuse far IatyF Hhn settles ANY
ease INSIDE III fecn years, by which
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

palace represent an expenditure Of over
a million dollars. Their furnishings are
as elaborate and expensive as those in
the best palaces of Europe. There are
hand painted velvet curtains almost as
Thick as blankets; bronze chandeliers
weighing SO much that they had to be
lifted into place by machinery; gigantic
hand carved sidebOards reaching from
floor o ceiling; and exquisite japanese
lamps and vases carved out of solid
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

lite lace coverlets. which were worked
by loving fingers. All the little chapels
are neat and coy and still. AS I sauu-
tered through this solemn place I was
attracted TO one tomb by the light of a
lamp burning within UnconsciOusly /
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

iron. This elegant suite of rooms is
put at The disposal Of distinguished
visitors and 10 is so well appointed
that a king could feel az home IN it.
Thus IT viii be seen that Ia Prensa is
indeed "the house of the people" Any
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

disposal of the employees of the plant.
It is almost too luxurious a place i'm
which to work. 1t makes one feel like
a guest i'm q rich mans house. We have
nothing i'm the United States to com
pare with it for elegance but when
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22
by FREDERIC J. HASKIN.

man, be he prince or pauper. may enter
and find a welcome.
Ample arrangements are made for
the staff-such arrangements as the
newspaper makers of North America
know nothing about There is a well
equipped cafe where meals and drinks
are served at cost prices. The chef is
French and the bin Of fare varied.
Fencing rooms. baths. reading rooms,
billiard and pool rooms are all at the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

would come off victorious in event Of
war between the two countries. The
Chieaus claim that they can trounce
the ArgenUues before breakfast, while
the latter say that an they want is
one Whack at their Dragging neigh
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

minarets stand up iu the air like the
steeples and towers of the greater city
around it, one is for the living and
the other the dead. Paved walks lead
through the blocks of tombs, and ON
every side there are stone angels i'm
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22
City Of The Dead.

The Argentines maintain great style
even in death. La RecoIeta is their
fashionable burying ground 1t is a
miniature city built Of marble and 9TH
err kinds Of costly stone Its spires and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-05-22

some stirring event happens there are
no newspaper publishers in the world
who can get extra editions on the street
I'D so short time as those I'm Amer
lea. The men. Isl many instances, work
III dlngy quarters some of them mere
noies III the wall, and so 70 soup
houses in nearby alleys for their re-
freshments but they are cracks at their
business Their work Is the best and
the quickest that is done anywh here.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
CHILD FALLS INTO A
TUB OF BOILING WATER
Joseph sauro, Aged Three Years, Meets
With Probably Fatal Accident.

While playing in room where his
mother was washing, Joseph Sauro, the
three-year-ol son of a laborer Of the same
name, who lives at 15o Upper Levee. fell
into a tub of boiling water yesterday
is despaired Of.
Mrs. Sauro had just filled a tub with
water for washing purposes and went te
another room to get her clothes, when
the little boy, who was running back
wards in one of his gambols, backed
against the tub and fell into the boiling
water. The frantic mother at once ran
to her child's assistance, and lifting the
already unconscious boy from the tub
she quickly removed his clothes and
summoned DR.. J. T. Christison.
n The physician rendered all the assist
ance In his power, and removed the little
fellow to the city hospital. At the hospi-
tai it is believed that the child's injuries
are fatal.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15

st. Paups second primary election
under the primary election law Of 1901
will be held today.
The preliminary canvass has been
remarkably quiet, for 1t has been the
very general impression that the can
didates for the leading places on both
the Democratic and Republican tick
cts were practically assured. The
Democrats have had the better organ
izatien. having maintained headquar-
tiers during the ante-election period
and having held numbers of ward
meetings in the interest of the whole
ticket. The Republicans have had nc
organization and their only meeting
was one at which the judges of cleo
tion were instructed in their duties on
primary election day.
The prospects are for much heav-
fer Democratic vote than will be cast
for the Republican candidates, and II
is freely predicted that there will be
at least 1000 more votes cast for the
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
HEAD SOLID SORE.
Awful Suffering Of Baby and
SIeepless Nights Of
Mother.
CURED BY cUTIcURA
Skin Fair as a Lily with no Scar
to Recall Awful Sore
Writes Mother.

"I herewith write out in full the be-
ginning and end Of that terrible disease,
eczema, which caused my babe untold
suffering and myself many sleepless
nights.
"My babe was born seemingly fair,
healthy child, but when she was three
weeks old swelling appeared on the
back Of her head, and In course of time
broke. It did not heal but grew worse,
and the sore spread from the size Of q
dime to that Of q dollar. I used ali
kinds Of remedies that could think Of,
but nothing seemed to help; in fact, it
grew worse. Her hair fell out where
the sore was, and feared 1t would never
grow again. It continued until my aged
father came on q visit, and when he
saw the baby he told me to get Cuti-
cura Soap and Ointment right away.
To please him I did 90, and to my
surprise by their use the sore began to
heal over, the hair grew over 1t, and
to-day she has nice head Of hair, her
skin Is as fair as lily, and she has no
scar left to recall that awful sore, and
It is over eight months and no sign Of
its returning"
Mrs. WM. RYRR, Elk River, MINI.
"Cure permanent" So writes Mrs.
Ryer, Feb. 25, 1908, six years later:
. Your letter OF the 18th inst. received,
asking In regard to the cure OF my baby
some SIX years ago. Well, the disease
has never returned to her head which ut
that time was solid soro on top and
down the back. Once or twice since
then patch has come on her hand near
the wrist, but 1t finally disappeared
after proper treatment with Cuticura."
Sold tAreugheut the world. CusSeuya Rssolvsns, -
On fora cf CAoeoisss csassl Fills, Ssc PEI vial q e0
0intns.t p, see9. ~ Dseess LoaAsa. Sna,sss.
: Ave. totsof DrcS Chem. CWr:, Sels prspsistsss.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
ALL IS MADE READY
FOR THE PRIMARIES
Polling Places Are Equipped
for Work of Choosing the
Party Nominees.

The primary election booths will
open at 6 o'clock this morning and
votes will be received until 8 O'Clock
in the evening.
All persons who are "qualified"
voters will be allowed to participate
in the nomination of party eandi-
dates for the city Offices. A quail
fed voter is any man who is over
twenty -one years of age and was
born in the United States, or has his
second papers, if born in foreign
country. The second papers must
have been secured ninety days in
advance. In both cases six months
must have been spent as citizen
of Minnesota, thirty days OF which
must have been spent in the precinct
where an effort is made to vote.
There is one notable exception to
the rule that all persons who de-
sire to vote must ask for either {
Democratic or Republican ballot.
That exception is the young man
who is casting his first ballot, the
law holding that such persons are
not necessarily supposed to have
political affiIiation. Such voters
have the right to demand both bal
lots, voting the one that he pleases
and returning the unused one to the
clerks. The clerks are not allowed
to look at the ballot that he returns.
Both parties will have chaIIengers
at the various voting places. If a
prospective voter is challenged, and
he persists in voting, it will be nee
essary for him to make oath that
he 10 qualified TO exercise the privi-
leee in each and all particulars. If
a voter is challenged, and he leaves
the booth, he cannot return later
and vote. Voters may register and
not vote In the primaries.
There is and always has been
difference of opinion as to the length
Of residence in the state required TO
become a voter. Some attorneys
hold that If person has, for in-
stance, lived in the state four and
one-half months prior to tomorrow
he is qualified to register for the
regular election, by which time he
will have been in the state six
months, but cannot vote in the pri-
maries. The opposite view is that
il is necessary to have lived in the
state for the full six months be-
fore il is lawful to register, those
holding this view eontending that
only fully qualified voters can reg
lister. Heretofore such voters have
been in some instances registered
and in other cases rejected. This
contention applies to second citizen
ship papers. -sf,Ss,.ea az
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
CONTRACT WORK.
GRADING CAPITOL Boulevard.

Office Of the Board of Public Works,
City of st. Paul, Mimi, March H. 1904.
Board of Public Works in and for the cor
poration of the City of st. Paul, Mime
sofa, at their Office in said city, until z
p. M on the oath day of March, A. D.
from Como avenue to Arch street, In said
city, according to plans and specifications
on file in the Office Of said Board.
A bond with at least two (2) sureties
In sum of at least twenty (20) per cent
or a certified check on bank of ST. Paul
in sum of at least ten (10) per cent Of
the gross amount bid, must accompany
each bid. Said check snall be made pay
The said Board reserves the right te
reject any and all bids.
JOHN s. erode,
President.
Clerk Board of Public Works.
March 12-1904-1 lot
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
COUPLE REUNITED
AT FIRST MEETING
Thomas Fitzpatrick and Former Wife
Meet Accidentally and Remarry.

Thomas e. Fitzpatrick and Myrtle
c. Fitzpatrick, who were divorced last
May by Judge Lewis, met for the first
time since their separation when Mr..
Fitzpatrick came to ST. Paul yester-
day. and within ten minutes after the
meeting they were on their way to the
court house to secure a second mar
riage license.
The license obtained Court Commits
sioner Gallick tied the knot which re-
bound the severed. Each half of the
duplicate unit admitted that a mistake
of Judgment had been made; they
would try to live happily hereafter.
Mr.. Fitzpatrick is now a resident of
Gates county, Wisconsin.
Our safety Deposit Vaults are the best.
Security Trust Company N. Y. Life bldg,
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
Proposals for Steam Fire Engine.

Office Board of Fire Commissioners,
st. Paul, Mimi, March Is, 1904.
Sealed bids will be received at this Of
flee until Wednesday, March 23 1904, 4
p. M, for furnishing and delivering, f. O.
b. cars at ST. Paul, one piston steam fire
engine. standard make, with a discharge
capacity of six. hundred (600) gallons per
minute, weight of engine not to exceed
$500 pounds. When satisfactorily tested
will be received by the Commissioners
for the city. A second size Silsby steam
fire engine will be traded in this deal.
Parties bidding will state what they will
allow for said Silsby engine In part pay
ment for the new engine. Specifications
can be obtained from the Chief Engineer.
Proper bonds will be required for the
faithful performance of contract
The Board reserves the right to reject
any and all bids. Bids must be indorsed
Proposals for Steap Fire Engine and
directed to the undersigned.
By order of the Board,
VIM. O'GORMAN,
Secretary.
March 15-1sO4-1t.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
$3.50 to California

Via the Rock Island system, March 1st to
Francisco, Los Angeles. San Diego and
intermediate. points. Through wide ves-
tibuled tourist cars every Tuesday and
Wednesday, via Kansas City and Ell Paso;
Thursdays via Colorado Springs and Salt
Lake City. Berth rate, $675. Tickets
and full information at City Office,
Sixth and Robert streets, st. Paul. F. w.
Saint, City Passenger Agent.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15

Does Not Prosecute-Mrs. William
Burns was again in police court yester-
Gay, but owing to the fact that the hus-
band refused at present to charge his
wife with assault her case was continued.
Burns, at st. Joseph's hospital, Is rapid
ly recovering from his wound, and will
be about in a few days. He has expressed
his determination not to go on with the
case.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
Greatly Reduced Rates to the West.

Every day In March and April the Chi
cago Great Western Railway will sell
tickets at very low rates from st. Paul
and California. For full particulars apply
to ]. N. Storr. General Agent, corner Fifth
and Robert streets. st. Paul.
Saturday, March 5, last day to pay high
service water bills. and save s per cent
discount
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
RAILROAD NOTICES.

st. Louis. Mo.-Hot Springs. Ark.
Take the Rock Island. The shortest,
quickest and best. Double daily service
with through wide vestibule Pullman
sleepers and day coaches between Twin
Cities and st. Louis. For further infor-
nation call at City Ticket Office, Sixth
and Robert streets
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
CONTRACT WORK.
Grading Case Street. From Forest to cy.
press Street.


press Street
Office of the Board of Public Works,
City of st. Paul. Mimi, March IL, 1904.
Sealed bids will be received by the
Board of Public Works in and for the
corporation of the City of ST. Paul, Min
nesota, at their Office in said city, until
2 p; m. on the 24th day Of March, A. D.
Forest street to Cypress street, in said
city. according to plans and specifications
on file in the office of said Board
A bond with at least two (2) sureties
In sum of at least twenty (20) per cent
or a certified check ON bank Of st. Paul
In a sum of at least ten (10) per cent of
the gross amount bid. must accompany
each bid. Said check shall be made pay
able to the Clerk Of said Board
The said Board reserves the right to
reject any and all bids.
JOHN S. erode,
President
Clerk Board Of Public Works
March 14-1904-10t
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15

Thomas O. cariin Dead-Thomas G.
Carlin, of the Thomas B. Carlin Lumber
company, diedvyesterday at his home, AIS
Eighth street. Mr.. Carlin had lived prac-
tically all his life in st. Paul, and for
many years had been in the lumber busi-
ness. He was AZ years old. The funeral
will be held from ST. Marys church
Wednesday at o'clock. Interment in
Calvary cemetery.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15
GA q TO RTA
Sears the The Kind You Havs Always Bought
signature ss Isya1AZzzm

Deposits received subject to check and
interest paid monthly upon Daily Bal
ances. Security Trust Co.. N. 7. Life bldg.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15

Our safety Deposit Vaults are the best.
Security Trust Company. N. Y. Life bldg.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-15

THE ANDREW ScHocH GROCERY CO.
Broadway and Seventh Streets.