Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-09-15
STORIETTES.

STORIETTES.
Sort Of curious, isn't It," remarked
Congressman Babcock to Congressman
,overstreer, that we should have Pres
ldenral candidates hailing from places
win such queer names as Oyster Bay
and Esopus?" 1T doesn't matter 80
much where a man is from as it does
where he Is going" was the sage Cd.
servation Of Overstreet.
The stag at eve had drunk irs
NIL, some one quoted. Must ha'
been a funny crowd" blurted out the
Old Sport; "at AL stays I've ever at.
tended 1t took us till morning before
we'd drunk our fill, and then we often
had to leave because there wasnt
anything left. Must ha' been a funny
stag-must ha' been q derned funny
stag" .,a :
A popular author, who has lately
turned to play-writing, has not sue
ceeded in impressing the managers
with the availability Of his produc.
lions. Not long ago, thinking to get
some useful pointers from the current
drama, he made an observation tour
of tAe theatres. WELL" he remarked
to friend at the end of the evening,
Il seem to be the only man alive who
can't get poor play put on"
When Larry Kavanagh, residence
unknown, was brought before Justice
Whitman in Essex Market court, New
York, on charge of intoxication, he
said: Your honor, was here yes.
terday on the same charge, an think
it's not fair. It's the same Jag" The
judge smiled. "a man can not be
twice placed in jeopardy for the
same offense," he said, "but l don't
believe that includes hold-over jags.
Fined two dollars"
Miller Reese Hutchinson, the invent
or, was talking one day about govt
"Gout," he said, lis very painful"
rs it different from rheumatism"
someone asked. 1T is, indeed" What
is the difference?" Well" said MT
Hutchinson, suppose you should take
wise, put your finger in it, and turn
the screw tighter and tighter, till you
could bear the pain no longer. That
would be rheumatism. Then suppose
you should give the screw one full
turn more. That would be govt"
A London correspondent Of the Ar
gonaut writes that 1t Is related that
when Mrs. Frank Leslie was informed
by friend of the approaching mar
riage Of the Marquis de Leuvtlle to
beautiful heiress well known in
Partisan society, she knowingly re-
marked, to the surprise of her inform
ant, that she herself was the bride-to-
be. This having reached the ears of
the future marquise, is said to have
caused indignation on the part Of that
lady and little friction between the
marquis and his pretty French fiancee.
During a recent Baptist convention
held in Charleston, the Rev. DR..
Greene, OF Washington, stroned down
to the Lattery one morning to take
look across the harbor at Fort Sum-
ter. An old negro was sitting on the
seawall fishing. DR.. Greene watched
the lone fisherman, and finally saw
him pull up an odd looking fish,
cross between a toad and a catfish.
What kird of a fish is that, old man."
inquired DR.. Greene. "Dey calls it
de Baptist fish," replied the fisherman
as he tossed it away IN deep disgust
"Why do you call it the Baptist fish,
asked the minister Because dey
spoil so soon after dey comes outen
de water" answered the fisherman.
G. D. Gibson, the illustrator, recent
ly received from a soa, company a
circular inviting him to participate in
a drawing contest for $25, the draw.
Ing winning the prize to be used by
the soap company as an advertise
ment. Gibson was nettled at first,
then the humorous aspect of the sit
uation struck him, and he wrote the
soap manufacturer as follows: You
are heartily invited to participate in
a soap contest that I have inaugu-
rated for a prize of $3.50. Each CON-
petitor must submit 100 pounds of his
best soap, put up in ornamental one
pound boxes, and all the soap that is
not adjudged worthy of the prize will
remain the property of the undersign-
ed. 1t is necessary that the soap be
forwarded prepaid"