The Saint Paul globe., 1904-12-29

The subject Of congeniality in
friendship and marriage is much dis
cussed and many opposing views are
given. The old saying that opposftes
should marry, is not very. much be-
lieved in now and those who have
like beliefs and like prejudices seem
to stand better chance of getting on
well together. In a recent novel OF
English life, one of the characters-a
most original man by the way-makes
few remarks on the subject of con-
genial friendship and the kind of
minds which should affiliate in matri-
mony which contain more than the
usual grain of truth. This man is
worth quoting, he says in answer to
a question:
Because the basis of married hap
pineSs is a common ground of humor.
The great thing in choosing a hus-
band or a wife is to choose some one
who laughs at the same things that
we ourselves laugh at That is all
that really matters. If we only take
care of the smiles the tears will take
care of themselves. And the sense of
humor is undeyeloped in the very
young; you can not tell before you are
five and twenty what are the precise
things that you are going to spend the
rest of your life laughing at"
A good deal of philosophy is con-
tained in that. There was once a
man who always tested new acquaint-
anceS with a story or two which par
ticularly appealed to his sense of hui
| NOR. If the other man laughed in
way which he showed he appreciated
the point, they might become friends.
There is nothing better as a basis of
friendship. What a tragedy it must
be for a man with sense of humor
to find that the woman he has mar
ried can see no point to his choicest
! stories. One is almost sure their
matrimonial bark will run on shoals.
! She might have a certain kind of
! sense of humor, but If it is not his
kind, trouble would be sure to ensue.
Say what you will. there are different
| sorts of humor, and much ill-match-
! ing in this world comes from this very
/ thing. Equally sad would be the mar
! rying of a woman with a sense of
| humor to a man with none. For,
many wise men to the contrary, there
| are multiplicity. of women with the
! keenest sense of 11umor, and there are,
| too, men without any hHmor at all.
| Another wise thing said by the clever
| man in the book was about love at
| first sight. The heroine was discuss
| ing the faults and failings of others
| and apropos of that he said:
'"The only faults that really make
you dislike people are the faults that
| strike you at once, such as the sound
| of their voices and the Shape of their
| hands, and the way in which they
| move. We pity people for bad morals
| it is only for bad manners that we
hate them. Therefore nothing but
| love at first sight is a sure foundation
| for married happiness; union based
! upon mutual esteem is begun in wis
dom and consequently bound to close
in tears. All the great mistakes OF
life have their root in caution. Second
thoughts are invariably misleading"
Now many will disagree with him
about second thoughts, and yet how
many of us have to admit that our
first impressions of people and things
are the ones we usually bark back to-
even if we have changed our minds in
the interval. Love at first sight is
thoroughly disbelieVed in by many, but
numerous happy marriages have beer
founded upon this very love.
When man can laugh at the things
which make you laugh, you are not
only sure he is a congeniaI spirit, but
it is human to believe that his is g
superior mind. Just as we are certain
that the man who voices what we
ourselves believe, is a person of un-
usual ~erudition. So, girls, in marry
ing, try man with your favorite joke
and see if he stands the test. If he
fails to catch the point, he is not the
one man.