New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-03-03


our task Of government.
TIE TALK OF TIE DAY
Discrimination against cigarette smokers Is made
for good reason IN various employment. and fat
footed official declaration has just been launched
upon its travels that they not wanted IN the
city's Fire Department. It's portal IS not arched
with the grim inscription. All smoke abandon ye
who enter here" The friendly b-isrwood is left
and tho hard pulling two fer" with some other
regulation censers OF the weed But for the cigarette
men tho motto OF the service is Quit git
rhyme and reason shut Up IN is bTevity in the
posy OF a ring
signs FROM THE HOPELESS
A distressed lady contributes this poem TO The
Pltsturg Gazotte':
why has love not cor1e INTO nv u'e7
Ny hcar,s desire Is 30 he true mans VITA
E-t every faint hope seems doomed 90 fall
I've led a III, which ! though, would show
Virtue and honor have hsld n place
Which Two fought hard 10 not Disgrace.
And now I've passed Ifo's fret fresh bloom
WY {g5 nave We, " ~ q b-i,dr Te
think q rather be dead than alive.
And We have Tits from a disconsclase bachelor
III. has lost tie charm Il hsd FOR met
Ia future rh1l walk through ways Of gloom;
4
Siy horc5. alas, have al gone Up tho nurza.
I used % dream O. raining high renovn.
used 90 th.al- that splendid Ef's were nine
But yesterday fair maid threw me down,
Where locks once waved my head begins to shine,
I'm getting old: I'm nearly thirty-Gye:
Ge,er sen my n2m no a PINT as s,, YET
Chicago Record-IIsrald-
Tho BOSTON ra0e-s sny that one 90 the innrrnities
- age from which Edward Atkinson. tho anti
!mocrialst and economist. inventor % tho Aladdin
oven suffers s. such uustcadiness that he no
longer uses pen. but employs rubber stamp IN
signing his name This Is don> oven on checks OF
small or Iargs amount. As such signature - not
legal. M. Atkinson renders 10 by nttesting II
according 10 the Eertillon system 10 inks the bail
OF his thumb pad and leaves the imprint on
the check rs much as 70 say Edward Atkinson.
his thumb" Bank cashiers IN Boston and else
where have become familiar with the hair lines OF
the At4irsonian thumb and a piece Of paper bear
ing st IS good as legal tender.
Not the I.in:t.-slgnor zanetti. the magician. had
been Displaying his deNtcrtty 20 an interested
crowd OF sTcrutors IN a Kentucky town. Stepping
ior%ari. h' 80 -, 7 ,,, r.,,,-. . --,,, 81.
OF whskev- VIII some gentleman IN the audience
accommodate re with the loan of pint fask?'
plussed. With an appealing gesture he said:
Il had received d,ne5ent in2ressioa tha ian MS
understand ne? WIN some gentleman kindly loan
me "a pint flask OF whisleyF'
Again there was no response and. briefly apol-
ogizng. the magician said he would be compelled
Tie was turning again 20 his table. when a tall.
iank man IN the rear q the, hall arose -
we'll producing bottle Of that capacity.
And every gentleman IN the house arose. with
that size flask eXtended.-(Lipp!ncotts Magazine.
The nrt Of land surveying owes its origin to tho
fact that the Egyptians were unable 20 keep perna-
uent monuments land which was overlooked
every year by the Nile. Under such circumstances
q. D hn--e means OF refden
flying the various pieces OF land. The instruments
and mathematical methods OF astronomy with suit
able notifications were used BY the Egyptians for
land surveying.
Rored-The Honest Man Ito theatre door tender
l you have signs I'm the lobby saying that
tickets bought Of spectators viii not be accepted
Door Tender with a sichly smllel-say. you re-
formers give mo pain In the solar pleNuS. Gwan
in!-Puck.
The Hereros now IN rebellion against Germany.
have a pretty fair opinion Of themselves and Of
their chief Ono OF their songs begins; what IS
the King OF England. what IS the King Of Ger
many. compared with thee. Mahereo. first among
all princes? Have they many thousand cattle
as thou? No Who IS mighty art thou?''
The IIereros dcspise Europeans The name for
European is "otyirumbo''-"wh!te thing
An Eye for an Eye.-'My cook. an old darby. IN
be married tonight r. you got a present for
. But. Maria SAID you've got husband alive
and haven't been divorced: q would be bisumy.'"
We'll Miss annie. I don't care; he's done
bigotted fust' "-Oappincotts Magazine.
The standing OF the three leading Japanese Jour
nails according 60 THE London Chronicle" is ms
follows: The ''Jiii-Shinbun,' which means literal
" Timely Incident New-hearing." Is a seni-oflcial
paper and may be regarded The Tines of
Japan The staff Is composed OF well-to-do men,
from among whom appointments often made
TO the chief posts IN government departments
T2urnors are never admitted 10 the pages OF the
Shin bun and il has great reputation for
trt1thfulness and sincerity. The 'Nlchl-NchI SHIN
hum e. "Day and Day New-hcaring." or as we
should say Daily Chrouice"-is the organ OF the
Progressive party in Japan. While the 'Koku- Min
Shimbun'-L =. "Countrypeopies News''-whch
has been calling for fearful musters and prepared
defence" In its character OF the nations Journal
IS regarded teas responsible pa per- bat is per
haps all the more interesting for that
BUT no PLEASANT THOUGHT
When your cupboard IS bare
OF the last food you've bought
Though there's EOthing else there
There = food for thought.