The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-03-12


lie PeeWeeN Tells Of a Gay Evening at
the Coffee House In Which a Big. Hole
Is Made In Half a Dollar Almost Before
He Knew It.
There is everything in this matter Of
relatively. The other day Charlie Peewee
was telling some friends how he took his
best girl out and had a great time"
Yes said Charlie, we saw the town
and had a pretty gay evening. I took her
over to the Coffee House to dinner and
almost before I knew it we had made q
big hole in a half dollar. But we had a
great time. It was worth all it cost" =
This rapid life is pretty hard on our
youth. =: - p; 20 . .- y 3
KAHN aBey, the Turkish governor Of
Jerusalem, who is coming to the worlds
fair, says he is going to leave his thirty
wives at home. It will be in zerder
to ask Mr.. Bey eff he brought his wives
along or if he is travelling for pleasure"
A town in Kansas paid $4,000 notslong
ago for gas we'll. For a time the well
yielded an excellent quality of gas, but
it is now declared that the rascally con-
tractor stimulated the flow by secretly
dumping a quantity of calcium carbide
into the hole If there is anything more
deceptive than a hole in the ground with
gold in it it Is one of those long narrow
holes that is: alleged to spout gas or OIL
The Atchison Globe comes right out
and says: to 4,=..t...sss -.
Outside OF books and plays, we never knew q
man who wanted to steal woman.
That motive has been worked so, hard
in a literary way that we regard every
new novel or play, with deep suspicion
until wesf1nd out which commandment it
is trying to have it's characters play tag
with:s7S ar. ~ =, - ,szs.s=
Did you know that a good deal Of thiss
stimulating patent Spring medicine was
made of bad whisky with something in 1t
to make it taste Bladder?
| A revolution is said to be brewing, in
| Mexico. Are we ready? s,rss: =.
| March came in like plumber and will
Ego out like the ceal man, >
There is a@goo1s Joke ION, the Fl eIdregaz
tNeb.1 Progress-7 9eirfeiderItallse ona.a
visiting physician who was referred to- as
DE- Kiliemquick !" BYt the Progress
tells its own sorrowful story: = > 81, .
"Much to the chagrin and regret of the
editor;:sa ridiculous error in Last weeks
| issue Of the, Progress was not discovered
! until the whole edition was out. The mis-
| Ia e. dppSdEeu Ill I'LL 1tcHi 1C1Ci1iAiS 70 'iO
illness Of, Mrs. L: j. Titus and her mother;
Mrs. Sargent, wherein DR.. tKillemquick' OF
| Lincoln had been called in consultation by
DR.. Whittier, who had the case in charge.
It should have read DR.. Bailey of Lincoln.
| The item was written and set lin type
! about II O. clock Thursday night, when 1t
was impossible to ascertain by phone or
otherwise the Doctors name. Hence Kill
| enquick' it. was deemed, occupied ssuH1-
| Gent room for the proper name, to be asa
| certained in the morning before publica-
| ton In the rush consequent to going to
press Friday morning. however, the error
! was overlooked. AS before stated, the eds
| tor very much regrets the error, ana pegs
| humble Apology, sg-.7..
/ Imagine the feelings of. a respectable
| family physician who sees himself re-
ferred to in the public prints as, Dr. Kill
! emquick 81.
! We went out with Farmer Ben to look
over our upper forty acres the other day
and found that it was pretty nearly time
/ to be doing a little spring work. Our
renter, on the lower eighty is already
scratchin' round with his eye on spring
4 work Farmer Ben says: "There's lots
/ that can be done now that viii help along
a farmer later. We're goin' to watch our
seed pretty close this trip to. see if it,
i vigorous and right. When it comes TO
economy the worst place to show it's
in buyin' seed grain A man saves doll
4 lar at lseedin' time and loses twenty-five
at harvest Now is the time to get OUT
the sseeder and .drags on the barn moor
and see if they're all right, or need hxln
4 up Now is the time to haul seed gram
and clean up what YOU have at home.
I Now is the time to haul in the rest OF the
! hay sta cked out The farmer. thai Keeps.
I forehanded with his work instead OF be-
/ hindhand is the winner every time. our
y. cows have wintered we'll and are comm
\ OUT in good order. Thes fields !are.gbafess
E, and our seeders will be workfns H 1hipts
4 DAYS, wind and weather permittlhs.
We've done too much agricultoora loorai
farming in the past with book IN ono
4 hand and harvester. in the other. here
after we are going tottake Farmer Benz 3:
advice and get right down to farming IN
d our backyard right close to the size.
!, "A. J.. r..