The sun., 1904-07-17
HUMOROUS. SIDE or LIFE.
Not on That Path.

From tho London Chronicle.
II really thought you were on the path OF
reformation" said the Southwark stipendiary
yesterday, more In sorrow thsn In anger.
when he once again nned Miohael ouirk for
inebriety. -Oh. no. SIR" responded the
matter -of-fact ouirk. Il have tust come from
Shorehan." - .,..
Ono More Glass Would Not Be Missed.
From the OlepsIdnd Leader.
One day frssy fellow met Father Heaiy
OF Dublin by the sesAhoFe and thus accosted
him: Father Healy. am undergoing cure
and take tumbler of sea wateT three times
q dsy. Now. I've hsd my full allowance TO"
day but do you think might have one
just one. tumbler morei" ~;
Father Healy put his head on one side
and looked at tho ocean, lost IN. Thought:
"weil." he said. at last. With ersvefy judicial
air. Il don 7 think Y would be missed
Determined 10 ne Petite.
From the Areomeui.
The car was entirely empty With the e1.
ception OF one man. but ~ Ientered be rose.
and said: Madam. plesshe be kind 'nough
to asshept thish plssho." s' = 4.'..
There. was nothing else for me to 10. so
thanked him and sat down. And for twenty
blocks that idiot hung from strap. swayins
In the breeze, with not's soul In the car but
ourselves. Occasionally ] have been taken
for other women but never before bad any
one think that was esrfYl."
Military Discipline carried Too Far.
From the .Wdshiasfor Post.
As an illustration Of carrying military
discipline too far this story is told by Gen.
N. 4. Miles: There was a certain Colonel
with a sudden ardor sbout' hygiene. He
ordered that all the men change their shirts
at once. ... Il
This order was duly carried out except
IN the case Of one oornpsny-whereth the privates
wardrobes had been pitiably depleted The
captain OF this company ives informed that
mono Of his men could change their shirts.
since they had only one apiece, ,The Colonel
hesitated moment. and said hrmly:
"'orders must be obeyed. Let the men
change shirts with each other"
Moral Of the Lesson.
From the Yeuths Compassion.
One Sunday teacher was trying to illus
trste to her small scholars the lesson: Re
turn good for evil" e, ,l.'"
To make 1t practical. she said: Suppose.
children. one Of your schoolmates should
strike you and the next day you should bring
him an apple. that would be ono way Of re-
turning good for evil. L'.' g..
To her dismsy one little girl spoke up
QulCky. ucu He WOulO otIIAC you akdiH W
get another apple, ,..,.-
Lawyer Followed Instructions.
From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
A few years ago a well-known lawyer re-
mitted, in settlement Of an account to the
publisher of paper in the West. a two-dollar
bill, which was returned with the brief state
ment:
This note is counterfeit; please send an.
other" 70
Two months passed before hearing from
the lawyer again. when he apologized for
the delay. saying: is.
Il have been unable until now to and an
other counterfeit two-dollaI bill. but hope
ss ss SS S
as good counterfeit as ever saw.
Deeadence Of the English Language.
From the Kansas Citu Independent.
A lecturer. who had very nne lecture on
The Decadence Of Pure English" gave his
address before woman's club.
At the close Of the talk. . very much over
dressed woman e the fuss and ,s feather
yfas xylsR You You i chat % Tie English LANGUAGE is de-
hosaea the ner seneTation @ viii talk like 4 nothing
amt done about it.
Humor OF London 'Busman.
From the Lendon Globe.
While Salvation Army, procession was
passing the Stock Exchange to-day. and
fine audience Of msmbsEss wsfs satheSed to
this invitation: Any more for 'Eaven?" He
was unanswered. .an
How Butler squelched IN Interrupter.
From HaYney's WeeLiu
The late BENZ amin F. Butler was one OF the
most tactful speakers who kept an sudden ce
in roar, and who won their goodwill, even
il he did not capture their The yStes By the s,u un-
poties Gne meetings Tor whsS
was noted Butler In an outburst OF patriotism
truly made the eagle scream Then. Tor
eupation Of pulling the tau Of the British
lion, just for the pure e1toypent OF hearing
that bad tempered and sorely hsraseed anima!
erowl AZ one point in his sddres: he quoted tei
A buriy, red-faced man, in the audienc ce.
who had interrupted him once or twice be-
fore cried out, in n, hssyy S bass voice;
Butler paused In his remarks, and, after
the silence had become impressive he walked
to the centre OF the stage and. pointing the
scTy Of aad s' TERSs ae'd the
Pray, my dear sir. % not interrupt the
proceedings OF this ulesting &. for u yeu begin
TO tell us what you don tknow there will be no
ff The G roar W 81 % genuine lsushtsr thst followed
this thrust completely .squelohed the dis
| turber. who kept silen co during the remainder
Of the meeting. s1