The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-03-10
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE WORLD

l1be smirkers will be silenced by the very
contempt with which they are treated.
Now that these young people have
started the fashion it would not be
bad plan II everyone could tag himself in
such a way that there would be no mis-
takes and explanations would be unneces-
sary. For instance. every man who is an
insurance agent ought to be required to
wear a label informing the public of TIE
fact SO that when a stranger desired to
avoid a button holing he could do so with
out great trouble. OF course detectives
would have to be excused from such a
regulation because they could never catch
any criminals and the criminals would
have to be excused on the plea that they
would never be out of jail if they blazon-
ed their calling to the world. But peo-
pie who are not ashamed of what they
do could tag themselves very easily
When man is introduced to us we could
merely look at his label and discover Sat
he is an undertaken, a music teacher, or
dry goods clerk, and the hackneyed
question of What does he do?' would
never be heard again
Everyday life would be made much
easier If everyone wore a label There
would be no more confusion and fewer
cases of mistaken identity. Every man
looking for another man would be very
apt to find him and If a person desired
to be severely let alone he could inform
the public as did the bride and groom.
The question of ua r,ninO ha l,iae fe i'm
portant one that should receive due con-
sderation from all thinking men. While
the professional baby manner has not yet
come into existence. he would prove a
boon to some homes where 1t is prob
lem of months to decide whether the Cit
tie darling" shall be named Reginald or
merely john Perhaps If there were
baby manner who made a nominal charge
for comforting pleasing and appropriate
names there would not be so many I'M
fortunates in the world laboring under
the weight Of such titles as George Wash
ington Scruggs, Robert f. Lee Spivins,
and Theodore Roosevelt Smith. 1t is taxi
ing mean advantage of baby to name
him after a man whom he will never re-
semble in the slightest particular and will
absurd than to find a man with a great
name engaged in a small calling. The
same thing is true in naming embryo So
ciety bellies when they are just learning
how to monopolize the attention of every
one around the crib. Girl babies are not
burdened with big names so often as boy
babies but there is a case reported where
a mother named her girl Willie Jennings
Bryan compromising on willie" as the
feminine of William.
Another serious question in naming
babies is to get something original There
are so many Johns, Georges, Sans Wills,
and Bobs that the ear wearies of them
1t has been proposed that numbers should
be used, but in the tribe of Smith, for
instance. there are so many individuals
that 1t would soon become rather awk-
ward to speak of Smith No. IT'S, S64 1922 $40.
Then our mail would always get con-
fused and things would be in most
chaotic state. Perhaps the old way is
best, but professional baby manner
would save lots of trub1es for married
couples who are trying to decide the mo-
mentous question.
President Smith of the Mormon church
Is now monopolizng all the public lime
light, to the exclusion of Prophet Dowie
and Carrie Nation. While the revelations
concerning the Mormon church are not at
all surprising to one who has ever come
in contact with the Mormons at home,
the country at large seems inclined to
view the present investigation with much
establishment. The fact is that no mat
ter what the laws of the United States
may be, Mormons are polygamous In
thought, If not in act The Mormons have
some queer ideas regarding marriage
They hold that 1t is better for good
man to marry a number of wives and
take care of them well than to leave the
women exposed to the danger of contract
ing a marriage with worthless husband
who will mistreat them. In other words.
a man is entitled to as many wives as he
can maintain in comfort The question of
love does not seem paramount in such an