Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1904-04-15
SLOW PHILADELPHIA
The Funny Filings At the Quaker
City Not All Well Founded.
Business Men Asd Politicians Are ~
wide Awake aad Enserpr1sins
- Those OF Apy Other
Greet Comm unity.


Those who have grown accustomed
10 the almost proverbial expression.
"As slow as . Philadelphian,' have
never gone beyond the humorous con-
sideration of tie matter, writes DR..
William Ellis Trings, IN the Chicago
American.
The newspapers have made II the
brunt of humorous thrusts, the
theme has furnished food for cariea-
turists on occasions when more mo-
mentous problems hAye lain in slum
beripg quieacence, lecturers have
scored introductory points about it,
and knights OF the heel and clog"
have come to req ort TO 1t as u vindica-
ton when old and memorable gray
haired Jokes have failed to find market
in the pIayhouses OF shs beautiful city
of homes
So far Inns this over-indulgence Of
well-taken eriticismextendedl that one
may h7ar in England and as lar away
rs the orient. stories invested with rid
icule for eipnt Philadelphia, the long
suffering md psysr compla lining home
Of as lovely and loving community of
people az God ever made.
a certain lecturer in Scotland, COM
memora ting tie disposition Of his fam
lily said. ~ have three children liy-
ing, and one In Philadelphia. Pa" A
we'll known long distance walker ath
lcte, losing the championship in a
time walk from Washington to Ne"
York. consoled his oe;eai end amused
lis admirers b. DECLARING that he was
far ahead uf Ia. Gld-tjmc record, when.
on arriving in TIE city 81 Philadelphia
his fee. went to sleep and he was un-
able to ppoceed further with his &C
cus,omea agility.
The members OF a fonrishing base
hall Team. on aligh ting from The train,
~ach appeared armed with gigantic
alarm clock which they proceeded to
carry about the town to keep them
awake.
skill more unfortunate but actual
occurrence Ia the one recorded in thr
pnderiakers journals that lhilscrl
phia Is the only city in the world EN-.
joying the distinction Of having lad
by an underialer's hearse.
Actors rslpaaae the fsp"y's fckle fol
,l-. by informing u, that they come &c
Philadelphia and tell jnt+s one season,
returning the next To md they have
irst pene, ed the slurheriug per-
cep,ions of the easy-going citizens.
And thus, Philadelphia becomes the
poets theme. the iokcr's jest. the
caricxtnrist's hope. while It's nnaveng-
ing millions are horn, live and die in
the deepest affection for the place, un-
mindful of the thrnsts. and not infre-
Qucnily enjoying them.
] have seen consumptives deliber-
etely refuse the offer uf home and con-
fort, with an almost intisputahlc as
snrance of restora tiop TO health and,
ertninlya longer life. ir thr monntainh
Of The south southwest and Colorado.
that they might remain in the city OF
jheir love aud die there seemingly
perfectly contcn,e,l. In two cases par
tcularly | know that each could have
had every luxury that wealthy and
anxious friends and relatives wonld
have rendered tn go away into the
land of oxygrnons sir and halmy sun
shine. but they refused to lenvP--thr
one dying when the Winter ca,ue. and
the Other lingering to-day, held 10y the
barest thread OF existence that is
worse than death.
Now. there is a serious and a Scien.
tiic side to the fact Of philadelphia's
slowness as n body 81 peonle.
II is noticeable that the mcn who
control wealth. who handl" ~rsat cor
porations and engage IN sect business
enterprises therein. nre alive to- their
business best interests. anu corlrrlse
as wakeful u srt of man rs orr wishes
Ia find In any municipality the world.
This Is particularly noticeable in the
political affairs OF philadelphia.
Those who engage in the actnal con-
troll OF the vast city's interests take oc-
casional opportunity To assure the
world that there is nothing slow about
the politicians of that town. The voters
are Just the contrnry-let man In
authority hetray every sense Of honor
and fidelity TO his constituency, anil
they will re;elect him as long Us he
shows his allegiance to TIE Mowers that
be. This signifies subysrvicDcy
vile suhmissien--whether II be good or
bad. The snme is true In business.
While II is not done add, 10 the honor
of Philadelphia business men. vet
business man who desired could exact
almost any honest condition Of en-
ployment from his hard-worked arti.
sans. and they would humilistingly
submit to IL rather than run the risk
and dread OF lost position. This is
said in no Hsparagamsnt--it 10 sim,
ME tr11th