The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-10-14
BY f. II. Dunno.

by r. II. DuIine.
Copyright, 1904, BY Mcclure, Phillips
& Coz
Did We liver see a man as proud Nv
anything as Hogan is iv that kid Nv
his?" said Mr.. Dooly.
Wal till he's had ~iIiven," said Mr..
Hennessy.
"Oh, iv coorse," said Mr.. Dooley, Eye
h a has only wan offspring. An oil
PROFESSIONAL parent Ike We that's prac-
tically done nawthin' all ye'er life but
be a father to helpless children don't
understand tn emotions Nv tn author
iv a limited edition. But Hogan don't
care. So far as / am able to judge
firm what he says, his is tn on'y per-
feet an complete child hat has been
~projooced this cinchry. He looks on
you tn way Hinnery James wud look
on Mary Jane Holmes.
I wint around to see his here pro-
jidy tn other day. Hogan met me at
tn dure. Wipe off ye'cr feet says he
Why says 1. Baby says he. Mix
robes. he says. He hin conducted me
TO a basin " water an Instructed me
TO wash me hands In a preparation iv
carbolic acid. Whin 1 was thurly per-
Iumed. he inthrajooced me to a Doth
less o. gintleman who was sitting up
in a cradle atm his right foot. Amt
he fine" says Hogan. WONDERFUL
says l. Did We liver see such an ex-
his hair he says. I WILL says I,
as Hiven is me judge, niver.' Look at
his hair he says I WILL says 1
Ain his eyes beautiful They ar-re,'
/ says. Ar-re they glass or on'y imi-
tation?' says i. An thin cunning lit
tie feet says he. ON close INSPECTION"
says ], 'yis they ARE, They ARE
feet. Ye'er offspring don't know it
though. He thinks that wan is a dough-
nut He's not as old as ne looks says
Hogan. He cudden't be- says l. He
looks old enough to be a dimmycratic
candydate FIR vice prisidint. Why, he's
lost most iv his teeth 1 says. Go wan
says he, he's just gettin' thin. He
has two upperS an our lowers he
says. If he had a few more he'd
be a sleepin' car says /. Does he
speak2' says L. Sure says Hogan.
Say Poppa,' he says. Gah. says
young Hogan. Hear that?' says Ho-
gan; that's poppa.' Say momma.' says
says he. 'Gah,' says tn projidy. That
mOmma,' says Hogan. See, here's Mis-
Their Dooley,' says he. 'Blub.' says tn
~phenomynon. Look at that says Ho-
gan, he knows ye,' ne says.
We'll, we know, Hinnissy, van iv tn
things that has made me popular in tn
yard is that l make a bluff at adOrin'
children. Between you an me I'd as
lave salute a dish rag as a recent in
FAINT, but I always do it. so 1 put on
an allurin' smile an says L well, little
OIL goozy goo, will he give his Dooley-
ums a kiss?' At that minyit Hogan
seized me be tn collar an dragged me
away firm tn cradle. 'fWud We kill ME
child?' says he. 'How?' says I. With
a kiss a y he. Am I that bad?' says
1. Don't We knOw that there ar-re
mickrobes that can be transmitted to
an infant in a kiss?' says he. Well
says l with indignation, I'm not proud
ic mesilf as an a~ntiseptic American
l says. but in an between
me an that there young cannibal,' ]
says, I'll lave it to tn boord iv health
who takes tn biggest chance l says,
an we whit u followed be a howl
from tn proiidy. He's singin',' says
Hogan. He has lost his notes. says 1.
sfWhin we got down stairs, Hogan
give me a ectur on tn bringing up iv
children. AS though / needed it, me
that's been consulted on bringin' up
half tn children in Archey road. In tn
OF days says he, 'childher was brought
up catch as catch cam he says. But
it's different now. They're as carefully
watched as a geeranyum in a ~consarva-
tory he says. Here il is. TIL first
thing that shud be done FIR a child is
TO deprive it iv it's parents. TIL less
tn infant sees iv poppa an momma,,
tn betther fr him. If they ARE so
base as to want to oOk at tn little dar-
lin they shud first be examined be a
competent physician to see that there
is nawthin' wrong with thin that they
- - -. ~ Tt-o-- -;Il rht TnGo
a bath iv Sulphuric acid an havin' care>
fully attired themselves in a sturlized
rubber suit, they will approach within
eight feet iv tn ubjeck iv their ignOble
affection an lave at wanst. In no case
mus, they kiss, hug or fondle their
projeny. Many diseases such
as lumbago, pain in tn chist,
PREF Iachoor badness, senile decrepi-
tue, which are PREVALENT among adults,
car be communicated to a child firm
tn parent. Besides it is bad FIR tn
moral nature iv tn infant. Affection
FIR it's parents is wan iv tn mos dam
gerous SYMPTOMS iv ricketts,. TIL parents
may not be worthy iv tn owe iv a
thruly sturlized child. An infants
first jooty is to tn doctor TO whom it
owes its bein' an Stayin'. Childher
ar1re initiative a n if they see much "
their parents they may grow up TO
look like thin. That wud be a great
misfortune. If parents see their child
her befure they enther Harvard, they
ARE FIR hidden to teach thin foolish
wurruds like ''poppa' an "momma."
At two a properly brought up child
shud be able to a~rticulate indistinctly
tn wurrud sDocthor Bolt on tn Care an
Freedin' iv Infants" which is bether
thin sayin' "Momma' an more exact.
"%Gr-reat care shud be taken iv tn
infants food. Durin' tn first two
years, it shud have nawthin' but milk.
At three a littleCanary bur-rd eed can
be added. AT five an egg ivry other
Choosdah. At siven an orange. At
twelve tn child may ate a shredded
biscuit. At forty tn little tot may have
stewed prunes. An SO on. At no
time, howiver, shud thu child be stuffed
with green cages, pork an beans.
onions, Boston baked brown bread, SAL
eratus biscuit or other food.