Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-07-27


The medicals content themselves
With measles mumDS and warts
Yale Record.
Patience-Has she an attractive voice!
Patrice-She must have. She said
While she was singing a bug flew down
her throat.-Ionker Statesman.
$50 they were disappointed with their
babyS first wordS?"
Yes; merely five-sylabled English in
stead Of Latin."-BroolIlyn Life.
The POet-When would you consider
it the best time to offer girl your hand ?
Practical Cuss--When she's getting out
OF bus, | should say.-New Yorker.
Hewitt-'What is the best business to
which young man can give his atten-
TOM
Jewett-''His own. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Hurrah for the victor,
We cannot say
Just who he Will be
But hurrah anyhow.
Washington Star.
4He declares his wife made him all
that he is.
Quite likely; and l should judge that
she didn't waste more than half an hour
on the job '-Harper's Bazaar.
Your friend from Mehoopany must be
quite prominent in his town"
No, | guess not; | haven't seen his
name mentioned as a Democratic presi-
dental possibility. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Teacher-Now who can tell me why
the Puritans came to this country?
Small Member of History Glass; can.
teacher. They came to purify their
blOod.-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Rural Pleasures.
Picking berries by the roadside
Is a joy beyond dispute;
But not equal half to picking
Cost marks from ''store-bought'' suit
New Orleans Times Democrat.
Stinjay-Did you try that cigar | gave
you yesterday?
Markley- Yes.
Stinjay- Well. what's the verdict?
Marley Guilty. Philadelphia Press.
In Emergency.
When you feel that you will tumble,
= nd your heads all in a whir
Don't hold to the hammock,
New York Herald.
Teacher-Meter means measure. Thus.
a gas meter measures gas. Can amy one
tell me what the meter in poetry meas
ures?
Johnny-Hot Air.-The Princeton Ii
ger.
First Physician-.'So the operation was
just in the nick of time?"
Second Physican-"Yes, in another
twenty-four hours the patient would
have recovered without it.''-Harpers
Bazaar.
A Waste of Waves.
We met beside waste of waves,
But other men were there, you see;
i nd when / waved my handkerchief
Twas just waste of waves for me.
Town Topics.
For goodness sake, Dorothy ex-
claimed mamma impatiently, why do
you talk SO much"
Il guess" replied the little girl, cts
because I've got SO much to say.'-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
do they have spark arresters on your
suburban trains"'
Yes" said the young man, with a
frown, who usually travelled with the
blonde girl: they have horrid conduc
tors. ~ onkers Statesman.
Said he, you're a peach. Fly with
me!'
She replied, as she dashed all his hope
You're mistaken. a peach did you
say? Well, I'm not-Im a cantaloupe."
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Don't you object to your husband bet
ting on an eectiony
Il object to it some,' answered young
Mrs. Torkins; ''but it certainly is q con-
versational relief to have him turn his
attention to something other than
horses. w ashington Star.
Harry-Nickelini is q Dago, isn't he?'
Dick-That's right! They are all
alike, to your thinking. But [ can tell
you that all Italians who come to this
country are not counts. Some are boot
blacks, and some sell bananas-are quite
respectable, IN fact.-Boston Transcript.
Alfrcd-Please don't put me off any
IlGnger, Katie. VIII you marry meg
| Katie-Alfred, / hardly know whether
l love you well enough or not. Be
Alfred Cooking at his watch)-Katie
the last train is due in just three min
utes. Yes Or
katie-Yes, Alfred.-London Tit-Bits.
What the Big Order Meant.
Orville Wright, the ing-machine
man, told a reporter this story: