The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-05-01

toward visitors. or I should have known
what the urchin was smiling about as he
timidly showed me around the house and
stood at safe distance until the climax
came"
Fool Book Done It.
'Since that book. judge testified
Mrs Wigs who had neither lawyer
nor witnesses, Il haven't had a minutes
peace. I'm worn out. my children are
worn out. and I reckon Wen all be
crazy. That fool books done it. It's
brought people from all over the United
States. and across the ocean, too. 10
my house They come in droves, and
act like fool idiots. l can't live down
stairs in my own house no more. They
won't give me time.
They come to the door-three or four
of them, mebbe-they knock and
open the door. What do you want2'
ask. / used to ask It polite and civil
like. but now I don't waste no words
They don't say a word for a minute,
and we stand looking at each other like
a passel OF gumps. Finally one of them
saws, weak like We'll, we've read the
book. That's all. Then l slams the
door and they go way.
'Slamming the door don't do no good.
f9dge, to some of them. You take some
III those folks from the North. why if
/ don't answer the door they walk right
in and begin to talk. Why, some of EN-
fairly tear me to pieces
Fence Pickets as Souvenirs.
THAT amt all. judge. 1 ain got
rosebush. a flower or fence picket left.
They've gone for memorials. they call
email on account of that book-why,
the way some of these folks act is scan
dalous. They come out here troopin' all
over the place. got my shutters clos
ed, but I'm a-watching. Then they be-
gin 4 pick up things. II they're in the
house they try TO slip a spoon or knife
or fork in their pocket They even try
10 get away with chair ana the 1901
things they-ask about 'LoVey Mary or
some fool girl is enough to try the tenn
per of "A brickbat
First they pulled out my rose bush.
branch at a time. then they took the
other shrubs; then they took the oyster
shells that was around the rose bush.
and when they'd got the yard cleaned
up they started in on the picket fence.
Fat Woman From Somewhere.
Judge. there was a fat woman from
somewhere's the other day who actually
tried to lift the gate off the hinges, and
that's the truth l can't get no enjoy
ment out of life any more I've got TO
keep shut up all the time. I am afraid
to see even my own friends
How is that7'' asked the judge.
"Why, | can't go downstairs no more
for fear OF running into these noboes.
and one day Mrs. Young, the wife of
Colonel Young. called and Knocked at
the door She had one or two little ones
With her, and / thought II was another
one OF those things, and / smashed the
door to In her face, and may God for
give me-
why don't you treat those visitors
politeiy-wouldn't that be better?" ask
ed Mrs Smiths lawyer
Would Talk Her to Death.
mo. it wouldn't" snapped the de-
PENDANT. ''If 1 let 'em in the house they
would talk me TO death asking me
about fool things that never happened. ="
The only other witness was Frederick
wardman. who guided Mrs. Smith TO
the Bass home and then stood by 10
watch results He cOrroborated Mrs.
Smith as to the drenching and there
was no dispute over this. for Mrs. Bass
admitted il. In dismissing Mrs. Bass
the court said. in brief:
This prosecuting witness came 20
Mrs. Wigs house without invitation.
The defendant has been brought into
great notoriety as the result of liter
airy production. and as result has been
terribly annoyed Her home has been
invaded and the peace and quiet OF
life continually disturbed. | think that
she has had great provocation, and |
think l ought TO dismiss her of the
charge on general principles
AS she left the courtroom Mrs.
Wigs" said:
Now, maybe III be able TO spend
my old age in peace, and maybe the
trees'n grow out where all them mo
MORALS has been pulled off. and maybe
my yard won't be full of strange peo-
pie every Sunday. and l can move down
stairs where 1 used TO live"