Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1904-09-16
Joshua's Appendicitis.

sSoH6a5 HPPcuufSitios
Joshua Fumbleberry, farmer, wal
born with pain. Sometimes 1t wal
In his stomach and sometimes it wa.
In his Imagination. but 1t was ubiq
uitous.
Joshua was not one that suffered In
silence, but was devout apostle OF
the philosophy Of King Crony In a
paroxysm of gout-'Nature knows
best and she says, 'roar!'"
Land a-goshen, JOSHUA" complain
Cd his long enduring wife. yen be
havin' that there appendicitis In yer
mind some day, and the doctor won t
be able T. do thing fur ye. cause he
CANT operate on yer Imagination and
when ye git dead sot on 1t, nothin'
but an operation1l ever git ye over
/ III"
You wimmen folks talk too much"
| snarled Joshua holly, but l s'pose We
wouldn't be happy If ye didn't jam
about so much wind err missed a
revolution occasionally. When I'm
sick, I'm sick. ain't 1? Ye doan't
s'pose I'm sick cuz enjoy it, do yer"
That was the beginning.
"A man gifts mighty little sympathy
in this world" moaned Joshua at 10
p. m. two days later, when a sharp
pain attacked him In the left side
about three inches below and slightly
back of HIS lower vest pocket.
Deliberately at first, then with &C
celebrated rapidity, the truth rushed
upon him. He had appendicitis!
60 fer tn doctor, Mirandy! Go
quick!" he bawled. I've got 1t this
time sure. Ef should die" moaning,
"afore ye git back. they's $40 hid in
the granary that we didn't know about,
an" holding his hand clasped close
ly over the pain. my willis made out
and down Z Pikeville In tn Office O.
Squire Diggem-
But go! Col" as Mirandy, her
arms akimbo. stood immovable IN an
attitude Of gathering defiance.
Joshua Fumbleberry. ye amt got
no more appendicitis than I hev. an
I amt goin' T. make no dark ride o.
eight miles through mud and water
to git ye a doctor when ye don't need
none. I've been q good an faithful
wife ter We and allus cared fer we
when ye wuz sick. but I'm through
chasin' pill peddlers t fix up yer i'm
agination, so there!"
80 there" was accompanied by q
determined stamp of the foot and
Joshua knew the ultimatum was final,
but his blood and his imagination |
we're up. Besides, didn't he have APP |
pendicitis and wasn't he at that very |
man marked for the cold
Ind clammy silence OF the grave?
"Mlrandy Fumbleberry," Joshua
poke intensely. "ef you don't git tn
loctor fer me. afore midnight I'll die
-er I'll git divorce. an. an | don't
leer which,"
take yer choice. Joshua" retorted
he wife stolIdly. Take yer cholce!"
"Then.-I'll-go-my fer the doc
or" he sobbed. jumping from the
ofa and shuniing into his overcoat.
Ef | die yen be satisfied. but | amt
9 from spendin' my money yet
whflei Oh. Lord! On, lOrdl gimme
trength!" he beseeched as he feebly
assed out into the dooryard towarS
be barn.
An hour later Doctor Phil Graves
{ Pixies Corners was aroused from
IL IL o'clock snooze by a loud rap
ing.
Come on out T. our house quick.
>cc," shouted Fumbleberry through
be closed door. 'I'll order yer HOSES
itched as go past tn livery stable.
hey amt no time { losel"
Whose sick" Queried Doctor
raves, in the weird light at the top
{ the stair case-but all he heard ~
~ clattered down the steps was:
"Out to Fumbleberry's, eight miles
crthi" and the rumbling Of wheels