New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-01-08
TIE TALK OF THE DAY.

Kentucky has invented a new and wholly i'm
proved method OF conducting her feud fights One
party stands ia Tennessee and the other across the
line in Kentucky, and the fun begins The one left
standing then cavort across the line and make
the farcica legal proceedings bit more interesting
Quito Standardization" began the agent.
Mrs. Short opened the door. have you piano2
We'll" he continued II am introducing a new
automatic attachment for planes and II YOU
has sherIns attachment and / guess that will
The following remarkable essay on the horse Is
said TO be from the pen OF an Indian student:
The horse@Ss a very noble Qundruped, but when
no is angry he will not do so. He is ridden on the
Epinal cord by tho bride and sadly the driver
places his foots the stirrups and divides his
lower limbs the saddle and drives his animal
TO rho meadow. lie has four legs; two are on the
front side ard two afterward. These the
weapons on which no runs He also defends him
self by extending these in the in a parallel
direction toward his foe but this he does only
when he is In aggravatng mood There is no
animal like the horse. No sooner they their
guardian or master than they always cry for food.
but it Is always at the morning time They have
got tails. but not long the and such
other Ike animals"
THE MAN WE ALL KNOW.
| could sing you song that was never yet heard.
l know, for L wrote every note-every word
I'm mild hammered man. but thirst for the gore
or that confounded cuss who has heard 1t before"
I have got good joke. which daren't tell to you.
Though 1 MADE 1t myself. and know it>is new.
I'm a mild hammered man. but I thirst for the gore
or that friend of q fellow VINO told It before"
I could show you a trick that you never can do
You might puzzle for years. but you'd never get
through
I'm a mild hammered man. but thirst for the gor.
or that mirth killing monster who did 1t before
I could give you a riddle you never could guess:
i Yes" o''0 II Up' you Will al answer
OF that horrible nuisance who knew 1t before
III bet that on Resurrection morn
When musician Gabriel toots up his horn,
"oh. bother that angel. I've heard him before
-(Iifo-
Missouri is the greatest apple State in the Union
and perhaps that is the reason why Senator Cock
rell always restricts his luncheon to two big red
apples. Recently when the time for his midday
meal arrived, the Senator called a page.
boy. take this to my clerk In the committee
ROOM" said he, giving the youth a scrap OF paper
carelessly folded.
Cockrelrs office The note delivered to the
clerk. who handed the page two plump apples
That what the note instructed him to do
half hour passed. Senator Cockrell was endur-
ing the pangs of hunger What became OF the
boy who went after my apples?' said he.
The lad. entirely unsuspicious OF anything amss
was summoned into the Senator's presence He
explained that he thought the apples were his re-
ward for delivering the message. He had eaten
them.
The frugal Mlssouran saw tha Joke in the situa
ton He could not restrain a laugh
Mrs. Newbride-Do you keep cook7
Mrs. Oldwed-No! Does anybody?-(Iife.
Even Greenlands Icy mountains have their pluto
Gratis. One Kor-ko-ya, OF East Bafinsland Iterauv
stupefes his fellow tribesmen with his hxurv
He lives IN a wooden house. owns a table and :,
parafine lamp. and recently, 10 celebrate the for
tieth anniversary OF the foundation of his bust
ness. he stood cod liver oil all round to his EN-
ployes. Such a scene OF unrestrained revelrv bad
never been witnessed In the country before
LIKELY to Do so.-"We had known each otbs-
slightly" said Miss Envy Waite. but never 10
speak 10 until one day while out skating I fell
"Ah. yes replied Miss Pepprey, that brok. -.
ice. of course "-(Philadelphs Press