Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-03-05
THE PIPER IN THE FLAT.
BIZ FRANCES CAMPBELL.


petulantly. some Of You would tell a
love story. Why is it you never 20 home.
Capt. Macintosh? DO tell me, was it a
love AFFAIR."
TO understand this history properly,
he said, With a sigh, You ought to know
my Aunt Alalyina, who Is the llowa%ct
Duchess of LOchawe. 4 severe old lady,
who brought me up T. the fear Of the
Lord-aEd thick stick. She arranged
every detail Of my life for me, egcu after
| haG attained to the t0ga yirils. She
it was who took NY tlat, furnished It.
and placed Janet, my Old nurse, IN charge
of nae, with all necessary Instructions.
She it was, also, who tOdnd suitable
part and ordered me TO propose to her.
which, the lady being young, very beau
tifui and possessed OF many millions
made in Oil, which she was anxious 10
exchange for my historical name and an
cient traditions, ! did, and was happy
in the knowledge Of having been dutl-
full grandson and n wise young man. Hi.
Archie, do you remember JANET
The \. ID. G. looked dreamily Mt his
pipe.
Think So" he replied. Little woman,
with haunting eyes
The commissioner hearcd another sigh
That's her" he said. Janet had her
~
like IN angel, and She had all the melan-
choly charm which characterizes the Celt
have it myself; ii is that which renders
me such Il fascinating personality. Miss
Ruby. do not tilt your chin like that; you
will get it sunburned"'
Go on growled his honor; "call this
story? Bah!'
The commissioner FASTENED on: at
was New Years eve" he said, and my
Arm Nj 1lN-ina NFipnI n fhuf Gha aud
the hapcee were coming up to attend
some midnight service Of sorts, and they
thought it would he nice to dine with me
in the fiat. They were sampiiug Chris
tiau Science at the time aud were both
pretty fierce. Janet was not pleased
'What'na like time to bring a strange
wumman Until the house, she said, AN
Donald come doom from Inverness to he
COR first footn Now, Donald was the
family piper in the Highlands, and he
was Janet's nephew. | had my doubts
as TO whether the fiat would hold him,
but Janet assured me he was already in
the kitchen, so that was all right
left out bottle of whisky. Janet held
10 all the old Highland customs. and she
kept Hogmanay religiOusly. Still. she
grumbled, and only the mention of
Aunt Malyina obtained reluctant con
sent 10 cook the commanded dinner She
Once year Janet acknowledged to
being 'nplfted.' | had hoped she would
postpone the period 0f elevation. but
when ] heard her voice ringing through
the fiat in Biodn mid subhach,' which
means, Let MS be merry | felt | might
expect the worst especially as both my
aunt and the tiancee were somewhat Sc
we're in their new views. which included
a blue ribbon. The iiancee, | may men
u. -. IL
ancestors had sailed in the MayfiOwer.
Il waited in trepidation while Janet
and Donald laid the table in an entirely
new and original fashion, singing the
while. Then they retired again 10 the
kitchen, and suddenly / heard the ~sgyind
of the pipes. AT first they played softly.
but all at once Donald burst into the
Slogan of the Clan and the Skirling
was as ii the north wind was blowing n
full gale through Janets pots and pans.
| rushed through the dining room. in
tending To demonstrate with the piper.
and found him staggering round and
round the kitchen table. shaking his
tartan petticoats with all the pride of an
nnconquered race and letting off our slo.
gan with power of expression lit to lift
the roof. My whisky bottle was on the
dresser; another, probably Donald's.
was on the iioor, both empty. Janet was
swaying over the gas stove. waving a
Sonp ladlc like one Of the witches in
Macbeth, and there was horrible smell
OF escaping gas. | never heard such nn
Internal row in all my life-it was as If
all the pigs in ChriStendom were cling
Str9ngled in the fat Kitchen. | never
could Stnhd the pipes at nearer thar n
mlle. While | stood holding my breath
there came laundering knox a, The
door and prolonged ringing o. tie bell.
IN. yelled, drop that racket There's
the duchess ut the door BUT Donald
only staggered all the more boldly
round the table, and Janet dronped into
Il chair and smiled ON me dreamik.
whlie She, spilled soup over her hest
gown. Meanwhile the rinciny and
knocking went on. openeJ he jn m,.
myself. and my neighbor overhead the
oid general. and nay nejghbor below. n
NiNchISh widow woman. both ATTEMPTED
10 rush in. '''N' - ~"
Can ! be of any use painted the gen
eral Is il MURDER 1 have sent for Tho
police. exclaimed the widow. ev-
planned at some length that it was only
my bouSekeeper and her nephew ccie-
orating llogmanaY. The general regard.
ed me suSpiriouSly. | don't wonder: tke
pipes IN a fiat are beyond human endur-
ance; The widow smiled. L have semi
Tor the polce' she repeated. Pines, in
When | tried 10 close my door. fhe LIT
porter intcrposed an enormous foot. oh.
no. you don't he murmured: leave thar
open. | invited him to come in and SEQ
for himself, while ground nv teeth
with rage. and longed to punch his head.
but he Said something about being =
family man, and, as | observed the in.
habitants of the block were ali on the
stairs surrounded 10y their domestics. |
beat z retreat, leaving him in possession.
When | got back 10 the kitchen snJ.
den silence had descended on the nro-
ceedinGs. Donald lay under the table
hugging the pipes TO his bosom. Ianet
was lying on her face in front OF Ibs
stove, and the stove was Missing nwnv
ike i steam engine. pouring forth heav.
en- only knows how many cubic feet Of
gas, all unlighted. The stiffcst lob | eyer
had was turning off those blessed lets
upSet'cVery saucepan ON the range Dud
by the time | had opened the windows
aud dragged Janet into the dining room
felt rs if had been To sea in tor.
pedo. With 4 whole gale blowing. took
Il drop of brandy and set to work ~
fe>dScitate Janet. which | did Av SQUIRT
ing the contents of soda water Syphon
over her face. Meanwhile Donald caoc
TO Of his own accord. and stood sagginl
IN the doorway, making Intellectual en-
u'aNofS 10 resume the Slogan. | threv,