The Somerset reporter., 1904-05-12
When Binning
Did the Elegant"
B, w. BERT FOSTER
Copyright, 1903, b. T. c. Mcclure.

1t was a fierce play. But there sat
Blnning, With a beautiful smile on his
face and applauding harder than the
ushers.
turned upon him when the curtain
went down and said GROSSLY, Did you
ever see such rot?"
rs it? l didn't notice." he replied,
still smiling. Fact was | was think
ing of the first time ever came to this
old ranch. And, oddly enough, | sat in
this very seat. My goodness, how time
does 1y!' he added, with the air of a
man discovering heretofore unknown
fact.
"Tempus certainly fugits," l re
marked. settling back to hear, But so
On with the tale"
"Ah, and 1t is a tale-a tale of Woe"
he returned. cit happened a good bit
ago, too; not long after | came down
here to the city, believing In my green
ness that l could cut a swath In law
that would lay over anything | could
do In the plow making line.
Dad got me chance with good
firm and then paid no further attention
TO mechanical attention, | mean.
was as lonely as strange cat at first,
but after few months one of the boys
In the office introduced me to a rather
nice family up town.
There were three girls In the fam
lily, and as I had hardly spoken to n
girl since leaving home this introduce
ton seemed a godsend to me. But
I've wondered since If my fellow clerk
did not Introduce me simply to make
his own escape from matrimonial tolls
the easier. AS my visits increased his
decreased.
ut came to me finally that could
not continue to accept the hospitality
they showed me without in some way
returning ii. | couldn't invite one OF
the girls out without taking the moth
er along. and in that case it would
have been equal to n declaration Of
love In the eyes of the family Ger
mans are mighty careful that way
$50 1t WINS up to me to treat every
body alike. And | was determined
to do the elegant. invited the bunch.
daughters an% mamma and papa, to
go to the theater; bought six seats
right in this very row
ut pretty nearly cleaned me out
Six dollars was two thirds of weeks
salary, and after mentally figuring it
up | decided that | would excuse my
self n flor tho Sbou md lot INV o,,aetu
go home alone. could not afford
even another round of car fares.
well, we rustled into our seats like
a flock OF pigeons, papa at one end
and myself here on the aisle. After
the first two or three numbers on the
the walters got extremely
busy. To tell you the truth, had
not taken into consideration the fact
that liquid refreshments were served,
but | figured that | could stand one
round for the crowd, even II had to
walk from the office to my lodgings
several evenings to pay for it.
80 | suggested a drink to the girl
next to me. She took me up with
positively frightful alacrlty and pass
ed on the proposition to the others. /
turned to beckon the waiter, intending
to order six of those foamlng glasses
in an offhand manner, bound to I'M
press the observer with the fact that
l was the real thing.
"'Oh, Mr.. Binnlng,' said the daugh-
ter next to me, I think I'll take
lemonadsp
land so will I, Mr.. Binning,' said
the second sister The third and nam
ma followed suit. Whewi In those
few seconds my collar wilted.
Even the old man, evidently con
that / would be offended If he
ordered beer. asked for something in
the line of mixed poison that | knew
plaguey well he'd never tasted. Then
the waiter, with increasing affabillty,
looked at me.
Its = terrible thing to be a coward,
Jack. wanted TO blurt out, Not
with my money" But | didn't dare.
50 ordered The same mysterious drink
that the old man had spoken for and
saw the waiter hurry away with a
] ttlliE tudl ne might us wei bililS
the house officer back with him when
he returned with the refreshments.
Those six drinks would amount to
S 81, and | had just 70 cents in my
pocket
"All the impossible means of get
ting out of the ENHANCEMENT raced
through my mind. | couldn't even see
what was going on upon the stage.
The falling of the curtain and burst
Of applause reused me.
THAT waiter would be back soon.
But there would be rather a long wait
between the last and the next act
must get away where | could think.
My guests were chattering about the
show, and | broke in on them.
"'Do you know what I've done?
said to them with an air of candor
I've forgotten my keys and my land
lady locks up at / O'clock sharp.
"'While this wait lie on I'll run over
I,,o