The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-03-04
If in LOVE, FIRST BE
SURE YOU ARE RIGHT
BY Helen OIdfieId.
taeaaa1aea aeatae

THERE is a story of an English
sharper who advertised for the
small sum of shilling, paid in adj
vance. to furnish the applicant with the
secret of success in any business. His
dupes, who were many, received In re-
turn for their silver a card upon which
was printed: First. be sure=you are
right, and then go ahead, steadily.
This counsel, although scarcely worth
paying for in coin, undoubtedly hts
most emergencies in love no less than
in either relations Of life. The difficulty
is of course, to be sure one is right,
therefore usually it is well to make
haste slowly and with discretion.
People are not always in love when
they. think they are. So far as is known
no statistics have yet been compiled
upon the subject, but all the evidence
goes to show that comparatively few
persons, men or women, marry their
first loves. The average man falls in love
with several girls, one after the other,
perhaps, even with two or more at a
time, and falls out again, more or less
easily, before he marries. His love
may not be reciprocated; the lady may
say NO." or, having said Yes, may
change her mind, or he may change his
before anything serious comes Of his
fancy So it often chances that there
have been four or five young women
upon each of whom for longer or
shorter period he has looked upon with
admiration as the one and only, the
paragon of her sex. Yet, after all, he
has married none of these, but another,
and his so doing has probably been
fortunate for all concerned, the women
whom he did not marry, the one whom
he took to wife, and last, but not least,
for himself.
When a man believes himself in love,
he is wiser not to mention his belief
either to the object of his affection or
to any confdante, however trusty.
1t is better to endure the tor
lures of suspected love and uncertainty
for a considerable time, which In this
case means time for consideration,
than to propose marriage and regret
the proposal later on. Suspense is UNI
pleasant, but prudence may preserve
a man from agonieS much more to be
dreaded than suspense, such as come
when, after having spoken, he dis
covers that he has mistaken his own
heart, and that what he imagined to
be true and imperishable love was but
passing fancy. Men who propose
on the spur of the moment frequently
live to repent their fmpulsiveness. 1t
has been well said that to marry the
first girl with whom one falls In love
is like plucking a daisy from the lawn
outside the gate before seeing the
treasures of the rose garden. Thack-
cry says that: Every man ought to
be in love a few times, and have at
least one sharp attack Of the fever.
Quite apart from the personal equation
of imprudence, a hasty proposal Is by
no means an unmixed compliment to-
the woman to whom 1t Is made. The
man who asks that woman shall
marry him almost before he knows
her, certainly before she has had time
to decide whether she wishes to know
more Of him, deserves to be promptly
rejected as just rebuke for his I'M
seenly haste. This method of court
ship has It's followers, and their num-.
bers increase; men who pride them
selves upon making up their minds
quickly, upon acting with dispatch up
on any and all occasions; men who
hold that in the present age OF rush
and hurry the average man cannot
afford to waste time in wooing. This
excuse, however, In no degree does
away with the fact that it implies
egregious vanity upon the part of any
man to assume that any woman will
give herself to him while he is prac-
tically stranger to her, and the ma
jority of self-respecting women will
answer NO" to SO hasty an offer, even
though inclination may point the other
way.
Though we snatch what We desire,