davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
who is giving away all his money. The

But the thunderous voice got no further.
A man who had been sitting on the front
seat jumped 10 his feet and shouted:
Say. this shan't so no further. Gen
tlcmen and ladies. my pal. Jim Smith. OF
Duluth. back there on the rear scat. is
putting the horn man up to a lot Of bosl.
I know him-the biggest liar in the United
States" Then shaking his finger threaten
incly at the grave-faced man he added:
Remember. Jim. we've got a week
more in New York together. and VIC don't
want to 20 too fur. Remember, Jim, this
amt Duluth.'-New York Tribune.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31

Quick. mother, Baby brother has ia down the venr
"oh. Oh! And the we'll hasn't been r1lised!'-rovn Topics.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
The Difference.

Little Rodney: Papa. what IL the az
ference between climate and weather."
Mr.. Wayout tof Dismalhurst-on-the-
Blink: Climate. my son. Is what a To-
caiity has when YOU are buying a home
there. ard weather is what Il has after
wards. Puck.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
III. rotation Of reisnberho.4 roois.

Perkins: Your kafden will Be late"
Hopkins: Tn afraid %. but. you see,
the Johnsons are still using Simpsons
spade and hoe"
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31

First Moth: Have you anything on
hand to-nightT'
Second Moth: "res. I'm invited to a
es.niaos ban-'-Phladeiphia Record
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
A Real 0eniss.

Jissmith: That FELLOW Piker II cor.
tainiy a clever, ingenious chap. isn't her
Browning: why. 1 never heard Of his
doing anything remarkable"
Jigsmith: That's just It. He manages
in some way to get along without doing
anything
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
TO langley.
II for success you really strive
This bit Of wisdom try:
Build a machine with which to dive.
r Ii ten to n I would hy."-Puck.


ID yu ever read a paper at our literary sockty?" asked the young womAa
with a frownrsb brow
NO. answered the nattro fsEt matron. Blu W seent times when / would
avs nN!e reading a paper or a magazine instead OF listening to what vas gomg
n'-Washhgton Star ~
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
% nainbow.

Dc nainbow.
When de rainbow Is a-sleanin' and a-lookn' mighty dns
like TO stan below an watch dem coiors as dy shine;
It's bout the purueS pictures dat could ever meet dc eye
A sreat big slice O. watermnion shinin' In de sky"
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
Know Thyse1f.

Mix "oi thjnk OF hov malaria"
Pat: "whoi?'
Mix "Rekass whisky an %quinine is
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31

Mistress: Didn't the ladies who caleAave cArdsf'
Maid: .They wanted to. ma'am. but old EN- yz had plenty
better ones, too."-Yonkers Herald.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31

why does links hold on to that piece
Of real estate for which he has no use?"
H wants to be in a position to write
articles OF protest and sign them Tax
payer "-tWashinston Star.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
suptA.

Mrs. Podser. my. but that will mai strong feneei 1 supp0se
driven In deep to keep the Japs from dsg out under
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31
Dialoguof the Day.

How is 1t you do so we'll writing for yins7 I can't make my Sal.,
Difference in method. my boy. Yofrase 10 p"on'ne' An 4 why
uncle New York Journal.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-07-31

ny h DooteAdv1os.
Excuse me Softly" remarked Pendea unousy
rp your watch Immediately after dnnerfH u----sa nj. vays
For III benefit of m y health. Yu sny doctor ~ """"
to Ak q uhs exercise after dhner"-ss stoI~A-
Lucid 4 stion. .u.. ., 80
,osnu. posr.r rs,s}nS TN varn evD:she Roosnn pickets were driven ID '0
mile" -. 49,, ,.a to "a
driver In dept to keep he JAps from digs tut under
saptA.
Nnshess: Didn't tho ladies who calEtave crdsl ~
Maid: They wanted to- maam, but old EN- ya nao pi"' y" S'
better mes, too"-Yonkcrs Herald @
DiaIoguof the Day.
lost your job?'
well, not exactly. I know where thob H. II right
"How is 1t you d so we'll writing for nns7 I can't make my salt"
"Dfrerence in method, my boz YoSrte to publishers N write 10 ""
unce"-Tew York Journal.
An Dwight.
Quick mother! Baby brother has ~ down TIL velr
"h. Oh! And the we'll hasn't been aed!-I tops"
A Ish.
"Rngeins snyst that he give his wKStht for all that h has onpns
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne. HIS one of thcsen en- n pane thNn WV
for everything" -washington Star
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

Il have little boy in my room who
is bound to figure in some great mum
cipal scandal some day" said the
school teacher. Hes a lazy little fel
low and he exasperates me because
he can do so well when he does work
Lately I've been giving him low grade
marks to see if that would not spur
him up little. But, while it disturbs
his father, the youngster himself does
not seem to mind his low rank. Yes
terday he came to me with more in
terest than l have seen in his face for
some time.
"tSay. teacher he said, dad says
If III get good rank this month he'll
give me $50. And I'll tell you what
III do. If youll give me high marks
I'll divide the twenty with you.
1t was in vain that ! labored with
him and pointed out that he had in
suited me. He insisted that it was
merely way for us both to make SO
easily. If he doesn't get Folk after
him some day I shall be very much
mistaken"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

The armored cruiser Tennessee was
launched Dec. 3. at the yards Of VIII
liam Cramp & Sons, Philadelphia The
christening party included Gov. Fra
zier of Tennessee. and his stan, Mrs.
Frazier and their daughter, Annie
Keith Frazier, who was sponsor for
the ship.
Up to almost the moment when the
big warship started down the ways, a
drizzle Of sleet and rain fell continu-
ously, but during the actual launching
the sun shone through the clouds. the
sky again becoming overcast shortly
after the ship took the water.
Miss Frazier carried a huge bouquet
OF American Beauty roses to which
was attached a bottle of champagne,
ana as the vessel was about to take
its Install dip she struck the prov
two resounding blows, at the same
time pronouncing the baptismal words
in a clear voice.
: Immediately after the launch lunch
con was served in the mould loft. The
Tennessee was completed five months
ahead Of the contract time.
Gov. Frazier's party included Mrs.
Frazier, Senator and Mrs. E. w. Car
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20
Honors Were Even.

1t was at the Republican State con
vention in Trenton, New Jersey, tha
several Of the delegates became inter
ested in a discussion on the ethics oi
bill-collecting. in the professions o.
law and medicine.
Let's see" said a prominent law
yer to a well known physician, "art
you not the medicine man who is SC
particular about his fee that he al
ways inquiries whether or not a patient
carries life insurance before accepting
the case?"
''Yes, I'm the man." replied the dis
ciple of Hippocrates with genial
smile, "and unless I'm mistaken you
are the lawyer that told young fel-
low, who asked you if he might sue
for the hand Of your daughter, that he
could if he'd permit you to draw up
the papers in the case and give you a
retainer of twenty-five dollars"
The others in the crowd agreed that
honors were even.-Chicago Record
Herald.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

B. B. Brooks, just elected governor
Of Wyoming, is a big ranch owner and
a great lover Of outdoor sports. In re-
ply to letter OF congratulations from
friend he says. II I could hire
some decent fellow to take this gov
ernorship Job OF my hands for a
couple OF years I would do IL Conf
dentially. don't think l ever wanted
the Job. but some people thought
couldn't get It and thought could.
When the frills and dldos get too thick
will telegraph you and We will sneak
on to the ranch and go back into the
mountains. put up a tent and | win
smoke a corncob pipe again. fry the
grouse and make the biscuit and we
win lazy around and laugh at the
world as we used to do"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

In the days when Mark Twain was
an editor out west he was not so well
OF as of late years. One morning the
mail brought a bill from his tailor, not
an unusual occurrence. The boy who
went through the mail called the fll-
ture humorists attention to it, "And. .
added the boy. 'he has written on the
back that be wants a settlement At
once" You know what to do with
such copy without asking. said Mr..
Twain. 'Tnclose it with the regular
printed slip stating that all manu-
script written on both sides OF the
paper Is unavailable"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

the mails in order that Barrett might
profit thereby.
1t was charged that Barrett formed
law partnership for the handling of
the cases of these concerns before the
department; that Barrett wrote re-
port with Tyner's connivance. decIar-
ing that while the business was lille
gal as then conducted, the principle
was right: that Tyner and Barrett
procured the signature of the post
master general TO a letter written by
Barrett stating that a reasonable time
would be given for making over this
business, during which time their use
of the mails would not be interrupted.
1t was charged that this opinion was
printed at government expense and
sent to every known company, with
circular letter to each stating that
the business Of that company was lille
gal: that about the same time-De-
cember, 190O-Barrett sent to each
company an announcement that he had
resigned from Office and would handle
their cases for them.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

David R. Ffancis. president OF the
ST. Louis fair. says that one Of the
smartest things ever said in the
grounds was uttered by one OF the at
tendants at the Turkish mosqUe on
the Pike. An elderly spinster fell
into conversation with this subject OF
the sultan, who speaks excellent Eng
lish. she was much interested in his
spiritual welfare and said to him: Il
hope you 90 to church every day like
a Christian" The man replied quick
ly: No madam. ! go every day, Ike
e Turk"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

Frank Russell. secretary Of the st.
Joseph and Grand Island railroad. With
headquarters at St. Joseph, Mo-, re-
ceiyed a letter recently from a young
man who wanted a pass. Before re-
Questing the pass; however. the young
man wrote about a page OF hot air"
about Mr.. Russell, "his good work"
and rhis bright future" In answering
the note the railroad man said, Dear
Sir: wish you would give me the ad-
dress Of the man who built your fur
mace. We have been thinking pf heat
ing our right OF way between st.
Joseph and Kansas City this winter
and believe ths man who furnished
your hot air machine could do the
work nicely. Inclosed find the pass.
You earned il"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20
Boy Fought with Deer.

Willie Stevens, IT years old, saw a
deer come out Of swamp near Sus-
quehanna. Pa, the other day. ae
crouched down in a quiet corner with
stone in his hand, and as the deer
passed hurried the stone and struck
the animal, Gripping it. The. deer
tried to escape, but the boy overlook
It and struck the beast in the head
with another stone. The deer turned
at bay and rushed at the boy. The
latter lodged and caught the animal
by one OF its hind legs. Both went
down together and rolled over and
over IN the struggle. Stevens finally
managed to get a grip on the deers
neck and with an old pocket knife cut
its throat. thus ending the struggle
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

Following the custom Of the house
Of Rothschild OF sending its young
men abroad to familiarize themselves
with business methods OF foreign
countries. two scions Of the Vienna
branch Of the family OF fnanclers
have arrived in this country. They
are Baron Alphonse and Baron Louis
De Rothschild. son Of Baron Albert
De Rothschild OF Vienna. Baron AL.
phonse has come to study American
banking methods, and during his stay
he will complete his education IN
finance under the direction OF August
Belmont in the New York banking
house OF August Belmont & Co. This
is said to be the first time that a
member OF the Rothschild family has
been sent to this country to perfect
himself in fnanclering.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20
Put in one strenuous pav.

Pastor Charles Wagner, advocate
Of the simple life. put in at least one
strenuous day in Philadelphia last
week. On arriving from Washington
he was driven to the University club.
where he attended luncheon in his
honor. Immediately thereafter he pro
ceeded to Temple college, where the
degree Of IL d was conferred upon
him. In the evening he dined at the
home Of Joseph Lindley and later at
tended a reception at the Penn club.
where he greeted several hundred
prominent residents of the Quaker
city.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20
MONEY IN RAISING DUCKS
Writer Declares II one Of the Most
ProfItabIe Of Home Industries.

Writer Declares Il one Of the Most
Profitable Of Home Industries.
The raising OF ducks is among the
most profitable of home industries,
50 the early part of December should
be devoted to preparing quarters for
them, says Kate Saint Maur in her
article, "A Self Supporting Home" in
Pearson's.
II your memory Of ducks is OF the
old-fashioned "puddler" which spent
all its time grubbing in the mud and
mire Of the creek, wandering far from
home, dropping its eggs promiscuous-
" everywhere, to feed water rats.
eventually ending an Improbable
like prey to some carniyorous ami
NAL, the Pekin duck viii be a reve-
lation in its size and beauty. They
are almost as large as geese, with
plumage which is white, deepening to
rich cream at the quill bright yellow
bills and legs-in fact, they look just
what they are, the aristocrats OF the
duck species. At ten weeks old they
weigh from six pounds, bringing an
average price Of is cents a pound.
Their addition to the farm is not a
serious consideration; beyond the out
lay Of the first cost of the birds there
is little expense.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20
Science Aiding AurIeuIsrre.

The achievements OF college profess
sors in showing an industry Of modest
standing but fundamental Importance
how to enhance its production have
reached monumental results. An Iowa
professor, by inducing the farmers to
make a scientific selection of seed
and teaching them a more careful
preparation Of the ground, enlarged
the corn crop Of that state by about
100. .00O,0 900 bushels. A Maine profess
or is showing how, by selection in
breeding. hens can be induced to lay
twice as many eggs as the ordinary
fowls. Cornell professors are enlarg-
ing the old lesson on the increase Of
milk from COWS. A Minnesota teacher
has developed a handy and improved
breed OF wheat A Nebraskan in the
same lire has outlined a plan Of cul
tivation that viii secure crops on semi
arid land without irrigation.-Pltts-
burg Dispatch.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

on Lone Tree hill. in grip Of death,
Ten thousand soldiers lie,
And groans and shrieks Of agony
Assail the leaden sky.
Wars dreadful scenes Of carnage grim
Dismembere limb and. staring eye,
Wild calls for help and prayers to Him
Who ''heeds the ravens cry
To Him whose ways were peace and love
Who died fofgiying ALL
Who taught the brotherhood OF man.
Who secs each sparrow falL"
His tender heart must heed such moan,
Such anguish and srch woe;
He sends his angel Azrael,
Blest messenger below.
Peace vainly prays and wells her eyes
All! not alone she sees
These sights and sounds Of misery,
But over lands and seas
Are homes bereft and orphans left,
And widows anguished cry:
And OH ten thousand mothers hearts,
That break but cannot die.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

The delicatessen man was out oi
bottled milk and his customer had %
pail There was plenty Of milk In the
big can.
"AH ride. I got padent," said the
delicatessen man 4 figs plenty Gus.
toners desc way" He put one paper
bag inside Of another. and into his i'm
provised pail turned a quart Of milk
Just as he handed It to the customer
in triumph a little white stream be-
gan to spray the inventor. He turned
the milk back into the can.
Going to apply for that patentY"
asked the customer.
DOT patent vas all ride. But I
nefer knew SO many holes to come in
one place before"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

The recognition of the value OF a
new idea. in regard TO a business
point, is leading employers to encour-
age criticisms and suggestions from
employees in respect to the details OF
the business, thus utilizing their micro
scopic view rather than depending
solely on the bird's-eye view which Is
taken by the manager, says Success.
A friendly feeling results from this
attitude, and the employe takes a
deeper interest in his work. develop
ing his own capacity and helping the
business. To see his idea carried out
by his superiors puts new life into him
and adds new enthusiasm to his ef-
forts. He win work harder to develop
another point. and so win this appro
baton. than he would for any other
compensation.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

Sir James Kitson, NJ p, who came
to this country with number of 9th
er distinguished Englishmen to par
ticipate in the American meeting Of
the Iron and Steel institute, is con-
nected with a great steel plant at
Leeds. Though a wealthy man and
amply able to smoke the finest Ha-
,vanas, he sticks to a briar root pipe,
claiming that only through its aid can
a man really enjoy tobacco. Sir
James does not think there is much
chance that an international steel
combine will be formed Such a union
is under consideration in continental
Europe, he says. but he thinks that
England will be able to hold her own
in the steel trade.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

Following the lead Of John D. Rock
efeller. J. P Morgan has had a photo
Of bis most recent portrait in oil copy.
righted 50 that the newspapers
throughout the country win not be able
70 print it. So far as is known Mr..
Rockefeller and Mr.. Morgan are the
only two Americans Of the steiner sex
who object to having their pictures
reproduced in the papers. There are
any number Of society women who for
bid the photographers TO give pictures
for publication and some OF them hare
had their photos copyrighted
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

Archbichop Farley Of New York has
notified the priests OF his diocese that
he intends to enforce the rule which
makes it incumbent on the priests to
seek the permission Of their bishop be-
tore holding fairs and euchre parties
for rhe benefit OF the church. 1t
was said at the cathedral that church
euchres and fairs had not been for
hidden. but that the authorities dis
approved Of them and only gave per
mission in cases where their value is
clearly recognized and whero they are
hedged about with proper precautions
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20
coIIeae eraduates weak In EnaIl.h.

Prof Charles Gayley Of the UNI
yersity Of California says; There are
many employers in San Francisco who
for the last fifteen years have COM
planned to me Of the horrible English
used by our graduates employed By
them. They say there are very few.
indeed, who can talk and write cor
rectly. The main trouble lies in this
that the students are 'railroaded'
through colleges in their study Of the
professions and very little, II any. OF
their time has been spent on the study
Of English expression and iiterature
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20
DEArh cLAIMs }. N. rYNER.
Z re...-- postmaster-oeneraI, Under
Cloud. ExpIres at Washington.

CLOUD expires at Washington.
Former Postmaster General James
N. Tyner died at washington Dec. 8,
aged IS years. He was born in Brook
vile, Ind. Jan. II. 1926. Mr.. Tyner
had never recovered his health since
he was stricken with paralysis in July.
1902. Besides being postmaster gen
eral, Mr.. Tyner has held many Offices
OF public trust
The stroke Of paralysis which shat
tered Mr., Tyner's health occurred IN
July. 1902, while he was assistant at
toTuey general. and he never discharg-
ed the duties Of his ONCE after it.
Mr.. Tyner has been Identified with
the postal service most OF the time
since March, 1861, when he was ap-
pointed special agent in the depart
ment- The sensational climax to his
official career occurred in April. 1903.
when he was removed by Postmaster
General Payne following the taking by
Mrs. Tyner and Mrs. Barrett Of papers
from the safe in the office of the as
sistant attorney general, Of which Mr..
Tyner was then the head. Mr.. Tyner
was Ill at home and the Office was
under investigation by postofice in
spectors.
The postofice department gave out
statement at the time Tyner and
Barrett were indicted, which set forth
that there were three indictments
charging Tyner and Barrett with con-
spiacy and two additional indictments
Barrett With agreeing while
in office, to receive fees for services
rendered or to be rendered in cases 1
before him as an officer. 1t was charg-
ed that Tyner and Barrett investigat-
ed the business of bond investment
companies and learned that they were
all carrying on business that involv-
ed fraud or lottery, or both, but that
instead Of recommending to the post
general the issue Of an order
that would prevent the delivery OF
mail or the payment of money orders
to those concerns, and would thus
break up their business, they conspir-
ed to give them unobstructed use Of
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20

The Wisconsin legislature that con
venes next January viii have among
its members ten men who hold de.
grees from the University OF Wiscon-
sin. Graduates Of the university,
VILE not preponderating in member
ship In the legislature. win have con.
siderable influence IN formulating
laws. OF the ten members the senate
has five and the assembly the same
number This means that S per cent
Of the senate and per cent Of the
assembly are graduates Of the Uniyer.
hiy Of WIsca0Sin.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-12-20
OoEs AWAY WIZ spEcTAcLEs
English Physician Has New Treat
ment for Falling Sight.

Optimists believe that DR.. Stephen
Smith, surgeon Of the eye department
Of Battersea Park hospital, Nothing
ham. England. has discovered a new
treatment of the eye which will praci
tically abolish spectacles. Il is styled
manipulation Of the eye" and is gem
tie and gradual. occupying a few min
utes daily, causing no pain and having
no injurious effect Of any sort Some
cases are cured in a week, and In all
cases improvement is rapid.
Thirty patients who had been oblig-
ed to wear spectacles for a long time
have so far been treated BY DR.. Smith
and. with single exception. all have
discarded glasses and can now read,
at either long or short distances, as
well as people who have never needed
assistance.
The cures Of myopia, hypermetropia
and astigmatism are said to be perma-
nent-Philadelphia Telegraph.