The San Francisco call., 1904-03-20
Copyright, 1908, by Mcclure, Phillips
& Coz


& Coz
F" HERE were two James Disons-
one Of eminent respectability in
small city OF the Empire State,
4 and the other "one Of the boys
in the naughty city Of New York. These
two gentlemen possessed a metaphysi-
cal identity with each other and al
tsrnate existence When James Olson
OF the little city went TO the metropolis
70 purchase goods. James Olson of the
naughty city received his letters and
answered them; in particular, letters
from Mrs. Olson Of the little city. in
reply 10 which ne insisted. very prop
erly, on his eagerness to return 10 the
delights Of her society, and added Ger
tain Instructions demonstrating that
even during his absence his thoughts
we're OF the moral welfare Of that com
munity. In return for these courtesies
in the metropolis. when James Olson
OF the small city revisited his accus-
toned Office il was his practice TO sign
and forward TO the naughty city Ger
tain checks in payment OF bills which
his metaphysical double had con
tracted
one evening James Olson OF the
naughty city found himself possessed
~ a roll Of "greenbacks" and Of d
handsome watch, which bore a striking
. reseIblance TO gift officially and ora
torically presented in February, IS,
10y The Chamber Of Commerce and the
Bankers Association Of the other city
L.-F
3rcd and esteemed fellow citizen.
James Olson" The roll Of greenbacks
James Olson OF the naughty city di-
m.nished from time 70 time in the
course Of TIE evening with the manner
and gesture Of never -nind-the-
change. The watch he consulted to-
ward 6 O'Clock in the morning with an
Intellectual intensity and decided that
he had made night OF il and would
take a Turkish bath. When he had
emerged from the bath and had break
fast. hc remembered that he had an
appointment in Newark at the hour Of
ID and that the ideal way to go 10 that
place is 10 take the trolley, which he
did
Burke Ryan was a gentleman who
took his fun where he found it and
20 whom the universe owed a living.
In the intervals Of his pleasures he
collected what the universe owed him,
and II he discovered il for the most
part in the pockets Of other people
so much the worse-for the other peo-
PIE. A man has a right to his own.
At the time when James Olson was
making a night Of it, Burke Ryan saw
his watch chain and surmised his
watch and took stock OF his roll of
bills and his manner and gesture Of
er-mind-the-change.
When Olson entered the bathhouse
Burke also entered it. He had not
wanted a Turkish bath, but he took
one. What he really wanted was to
touch the little sum which was COM
ing to him and 70 go TO bed. When
Olson fingered at breakfast Burke also
fingered at breakfast. though with a
growing impatience at the prolix eti-
quette Of modern times.
When Olson entered the trolley car
Burke also entered it and took place
beside him. although he had no bust
ness whatever in the city to which
that gentleman was going. When
Olson slept his watch transferred it.
self to Burke's waistcoat; when Olson
woke he discovered in his trousers
pocket the two longest and aeftest
fingers of Burke's right hand. Burke
was at once so obliging as TO withdraw
the fingers and with them the remnant
OF Dison's roll Of bills.
Olson seized Burke by the shoulder
and spoke his mind with vigor and
idiom. There were two women and
twenty men in the car. The two
women expressed the judgment Of