The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-03-02

& ~ stsO way 0tTWuolSSlO INSi.
else Of the Lower Extrsmlties and Other
Pleasures Thrilling Tale Of 4 Musical
Friend Who Goes Against the Mahogany
Box Freely at All Times Of Day and
. OF Night In an Assured Confidence of
Hitting the Right Notes on the Point
OF the Chin.
An old friend of the column who is
devoted to music but who is unable to
give expression to the artistic feeling
bottled UP within him has recently pur
chased an artificial piano boxer Of the kind
that you back up to the piano, sit down
IN front OF and work your lower extren
tiles, causing the boxerhtos go against the
plano to the length of a roll Of per-
Iorated paper. There have been claims
made In some inartistic quarters that the
plano boxer was a trif1e mechanical in it's
execution, but 1t is not open to the OBJ
lection that. like the lady acquiring the
art, it sometimes cuffs the wrong note.
Inc boxer always taps the keyboard on
the plexus, even tho 1t be- in a somewhat
Woodeny manner. Iiszt, was it not, said
OF Aus der Ohe,a-that 'ler touch was
ike velvet" The; artificial boxer cannot
be accused Of the velvet touch, altho it
has numerous stops and kafoodlums that
you push in or pull out in the effort to
hide the iron hand under the velvet
glove.
We#Went over yesterday and watched
an old chum bat out several old favorites.
He was seated on bench, and the bicycle
leg was something in evidence, but the
geniality and good will that beamed from
his face overcame to some extent the
sense Of. strenuousity of endeavor that
the performance gave to the. onlocker.
We will say this for the artificial piano
| larruper, even if we repeat what we have
a W. Ire 10
| proper note right on the point of the chin.
There are some things we might add
as to the practical christianity displayed
| In working the larruper at 1880 p. m.
when the other tenants Of the flats are
seeking little much-needed repose, but
we refrain. AS rule, a man who
threshes an artificial piano larruper is
! not an artistic on the soft pedal move
ment Why this is so is question into
which we do not care to enter in this
presence. Sfs-
Neither is it quite the nice thing for
the people who occupy all the eight flats
IN the building to- send in letters to the
owner of the building announcing their
strenuous wish to break their leases be-
cause Of the reckless extravaganza of
sound produced by the arduous work Of
one tenant in front Of the mahogany
agony-box. ~
| On the score Of exercise of the lower
.extremities, the artificial player is GER
tainly success. What we are looking
forward to is a piano with two keyboards,
| on one of which the artificial boxer plays
and on the other the musician himself.
In this way a piece arranged for two
pianos could thus be performed by one
player, distinct economy Of production
all around, doing away with one piano and
yet getting all the returns in noise and
strenuosity that delight both eye and ear.
a few holes in the garden and lamp in a
few bulbs.
A few more contests like. that Of the
dull-Prouty congressional affair at Des
Moines with wild rioting,'' broken
heads, "knfe Wounds and "half doz-
en- gun plays and Iowa's liberties ought
to be safe. "A
Mrs. Gilbert Hubbards Shas written a
series of Eve aessaYs for. the New York
World on the subject Of love which, Mrs
1.-The Philadelp lifD yAMhnsn Gael has come
: out for Russia in resolutions Not tha1
they oppose Japan, but because they de
not wish to see anything whipped tina
may take awhack at England some. day.
The recent senate debate shows tina
. Senator ,Til1nan carries a BOTTLE HI
says that it contains boracic acid TO
: throat trouble. The bottle at any rate il
unquestioned AS to its contents, thu
country will be somewhat divided in opin
q ion, knowing the seriousness of Soutl
Carolina throat trouble.
:. Judge Grant Of Massachusetts has ha,
t 2 poem printed in the Atlantic Monthly il
. which he made "helicon'' rhyme with EIig
= ginson." There is a feeling in Massa
: chusetts that Judge Grants Judgment
IL better in law than in litter-rat-your.
When the president appointed a negr
II postmaster at Humphreys Ark the forme
e negro postmaster being convicted Of rob
r bling the mails the postoffice building sud
= denly blew up some member of the Ark
:. ansas chivalry having placed half to-
II of dynamite under Uncle Sans shop.
j. Carlsbad, N. NJ, has Female Lea
:, Year association which is considered abou
. the most business-like enterprise in towr
: It's no joke, and tho it may have been re
garded as such in the beginning, already
j. has marked Twenty-Five Of Carlsbad
- most eligible young men for the slaughte,
- AS there are 366 girls in the association
y no man is safe anywhere in the state
y New. Mexico. One wealthy young fello,
! has already skipped across the Mexica
- line on the plea Of mining interests
- Chihuahua" but his location is know
<. and his case will be ATTENDED to when til
more pressing cases right at hand are dis
posed of.
1t seems to US that the Minnesota cir
ID are not living up to their privileges TW
J. months Of the year have already passe
ii and we hear very few reports of the SUE
- cessful harpooning Of those young fellow
OF who are not disposed to do their duty b
Is their country as it is seen by our pres
10 dent.