The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-03-12


Held give up all my millions to
nave you" Shelf you did you
wouldn't have me.-Smart Set.
Cldzen-How can you be tired when
you are doing nothing? Tramp
reckon it's cause dere's so much NV
It ter do.-Chicago News.
Ascum-Well, we'll! I congratulate
YOU old man; and how is the baby to
Dc named2 Popley-By my wifes peo-
pie it seems.-Philadelphia Press.
Wife-When we go anywhere now
we have to walk. When we were only
engaged you always called a carriage.
Husband-That's why we have to walk
now.
Blunt hear Blones has stopped
gambling. Front-That's true. l bet
him 500 this morning that he couldn't
stop, and he took me up.-Yonkers
Herald.
Georgiana-We are not old. Juliana
oh, yes, we are, my dear. Georgiana
We'll, we are just as young as any
girls OF our age in town.-Indianapoli
Journal.
Snaso-This souvenir habit is getting
to be something fierce. Rodd-I should
say SO. know Of a man who visited
friend and took his friends wife az
souvenir.
Little Willie-What Is the difference
bptwaAD eha ro c%ar oud ron,,+o+;ar -. .
Pa-Character is a luxury, my son,
while reputation Is a necessity.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
scribblehard-I believe I've written
myself cut; don't seem to have an
. idea left. Penhandler-Weli why
don't you write stories for the maya.
zines, then ?-Life.
The LADY, gave you a piece of
pie last week, and you've been sending
your friends here ever since. The
Tramp-You're mistaken, lady; them
was my enemies.-Judge.
"She claims to have studied music"
"Well. she has, after a fashion" "How
Is that?" "Why, she has studied the
pronunciation Of the names of the great
composers. "-Chicago Post.
$50 you were in London, Ell? How
! did you find the weather thereT II
didn't have to find it. 1t came and
hunted me up and surrounded me in
chunks. "-Philadelphia Press.
Wife-Now, don't you think my new
hat Is perfect dream2 Husband
Well, no. To be a perfect dream the
, bill attached to 1t should also be mere.
ly dream.-Philadelphi Press.
Didn't she have some trouble In
hiding from her husband the present
she was going to give him?' mot q
bit. She put it in one Of the pigeon
holes Of his desk."-Chicago Tribune
She-And you don't think there is g
chance in the world of our living
through our lives without a quarrel
He-There Is always a fighting chance
dear.-Cincinnatt Commercial Tribune
Yes, his painting attracts a great
many people," Great artist, chr
"No, just a house painter. He puts
out a sign, Fresh Paint and everyone
touches it to see If it's dry."-Ch1cagc
News.
Jack-Miss Fay, will you marry
me? Fay wouldn't marry you Il
you were the last man on earth! Jacl
oh, 1 say, that't rather hard, /
Fay-Goose! How could II Who'i
perform the ceremony?
He-We must economic. Suppose
darling, that you try your hand a
making your own clothes. she-Oh
George, dear, 1 never could do that
Suppose I begin by trying to maxi
yours 1.-The New Yorker.
A stout man met a sad-faced maj
on the corner. "Sir," said the stou
man, "can you recommend a good bar
Der to me?" "Sir," replied the sad
faced man, 81 cannot. 1 have my hal
cut at ome."-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Mrs. Crocker-You don't like you
soup? Well l must say, you are tn
hardest man to satisfy there ever was
Mr., Crocker-People who know yo1
are my wife have quite differen
opinion, my dear.-Boston Transcript
Hiller-Was that your SON 1 say
you with yesterday? DaIe-The younI
chap who was giving me advice hoV
to succeed in business and to make
place for ones self in the world? Yes
that was George.-Boston Transcript
} Didn't hear your wife refer t
YOU as the human mince pie2" said tn
curious person. YES" answered MI
Sirius Barker. as that complaint?
"Not exactly. She means that new