The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-08-06

Doctor Holmes. being asked by a
young physician what sigh to put on
his door. replied: THE smallest few
ers gratefully received"
Mrs. Smith-My husband has been
enjoying very poor health OF late.
Mrs. Brown-How fortunate that he
can enjoy It! Very few people do.
A juryman being asked by the
judge II he ever read the papers, re-
piled: Eyes, your honor; but If you'll
let me go this time. I'll never do SO
any more"
Patence-See how yellow her hair
Is; and 1t used to be brown. Patrice
Yes; she's been using one of those
yellow journals to make curl papers.
-Yonkers Statesman.
He had a play produced by an
amateur company the other night. |
believe. Who was the hero OF ii, do
you known Il was one. sat
through t."-Philadelphia Ledger.
A little Maine girl came to her
mother one morning and said: NAM
ma, don't feel very we'll" "Well.
that's too bad" said mamma; "whero
do you feel the worst?" I'm school,"
was the prompt reply.
IAN elephant must be a pretty ex-
pensive animal" YES, l wish / had
enough money to buy one" what
do you want with an elephant?' 81
don't. l merely expressed a wish Tor
the ney."-Philadelph Press.
She (angrily)-sir, l understand you
said had face that would stop a
clock. He (calmly)-So l did. Any
well-regulated clock would pause and
hold up its hands In admiration at
sight Of your lovely face.-St. Louis
Star.
Husband (who had been out West
on business, and left his wife some
blank checks)-Mary, l find you have
considerably overdrawn at the bank.
Mary-Nonsense, John, how can that
be? I've two Of those blank checks
left yet.
Mrs. Jenks-Are you perfectly sat
ished with your new dress2 Mrs.
Speitz-Yes. indeed. The man love
best thinks it's beautiful, and the
woman | love least has pretended to
turn up her nose at t.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
A cowardly fellow. having kicked q
newsboy for Fostering him to buy al
evening newspaper. the lad waited til
another boy accosted the gentleman.
and then shouted in the hearing OF til,
bystanders: IT'S no use to try him
Jim. he can't read"
Sometimes" said the poet. 81 an
almost afraid that l take myself to-
seriously" ION, well, never mind.
replied his kind-hearted friend
there's no harm done II you dc
Everybody else regards you as
joke. Record Herald.
Here is a peculiar advertisement
which recently appeared in Brisban
paper: "Permanent.-Wanted. a ma
to look after one horse and a fey
cows and pigs. One who can impair
the rudiments Of French, singing an
the piano to children preferred"
"I'd like to have your check for tina
little midnight supper l served q
your house last month";" said tn
caterer. you'll have to wait until
get the doctors bill for curing me G
Indigestion" replied the victim. "Tha
comes of your bill."--Philadelphi
Press.
e 81 know what you've come her
q fol-" said little Willie; you're goin
to ask my sister to be your wife
7 "Ohl why do you think soT "'Caus
l heard her tellin' ma she was goii
to git you In a corner tonight an
make you say it-"-Chicago Recor'
Herald.
Moose Meadow Sherir-Yes. that
Spike Moran, alias Big Eddy, ALA
Jim Thornton, alias Kid McDuf. He
A a burglar. stranger-But why do yc
let him live here7 Sheriff-Jest to 4
9 up the census. We put him in Il
directory under each name. you Sc
: Judge.
Don't be too quick to strike a
other, my boy" said the kindly o
man, who had interrupted the hgh
always count ten before you do
, and then" "Yeh," replied Il
boy, contemptuously. IAN den It'll
de referee datll be countin' ten
you."-Philadelphia Press.
Jennies mother was expecting col
e pany. but just before train time
. telegram arrived which read: Miss
!. train. Will start at same time
morrow" Jennie rushed home fro
school expecting to see the guest, b
u instead was shown the message. A
= er reading 1t laboriously and caref
o ly through. she exclaimed: "Wl
It mamma, If she starts at the same til
tomorrow, she will miss the ira
D again"
o Lincoln's Way OF Teasing,
d In his home city. Springfield. ILL.,,