davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
The Goose Got Away.

To the Hon. Joseph Sibley of Penn.
sylvania the yarn-loving members OF
the House are giving credit for this
story:
There was rich old farmer who
lived in one Of the interior districts
near Philadelphia, and who got tan.
gled up in money transaction with
one of his neighbors. Mr.. Aston, for
that wa his name, sought an attor.
ney, who gave him a letter of intro.
duction to a brother lawyer in Phila.
delphia, at which place it was neces.
sary to enter the suit. The letter was
delivered to the lawyer, and while he
was reading it he was called out OF
the room, leaving the letter on his
desk. Mr.. Aston let curiosity get
the better of him and read the letter,
which closed with a postscript stat.
ing that "Mr. Aston is a fat goose {:
pluck him heavy"
That was enough for the old farm.
or, and selling a pen he wrote: "P. S.
No. 2-The goose has flown, feathers
and all"
II took him about three seconds to
amble down the stairs and into the
streets, and he has not had anything
TO do with lawyers from that day to
this. preferring to pluck his own
Washington Times.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
WAS Ratified BY PROMOTION.
Young Actors Laughable Bull" in Hi
First Speaking Part.

Charles Frohman, the theatrical
manager, tells OF an amusing and
ludicrous mistake made by a young
actor in play once produced by Mr..
Frohman.
The young actor had, up to this
time, employed his talents in enact
ing such roles as called for no speech
on his part. But in this play he was
intrusted with the following line. the
only words to be spoken by him dur.
ing the entire play:
THE King is dead! Long live the
Klng!"
The critical time arriving, It was OBJ.
served by other players Nat the young
man who was to acclaim the new mon.
arch in the words just quoted was suf-
fering from a dreadful attack of stage
fright. His cue came. but no words
could he speak so frightened was he.
Finally, however. he pulled himself
together and. in desperation, shouted
at the top OF his voice:
Long live the King; he's deadl"
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
Took All He Could Get.

An old tenant once took tea with a
former Duke and Duchess of Buc.
cleuch at Drumlanrig Castle, his
graces Dumfriesshire estate.
His first cup of tea was gone al.
most before the duchess had poured II
out. Again and again his cup was
passed along 10 the head OF the table.
At the sixteenth cup the duchess be.
came uneasy about the supply on
hand.
How many cups do you take,
John?" she asked.
"How mony do we gie?" John asked,
cannily.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
BOY GOT THE FIVE.
Reporter Glad to "Divy" to Save III,
Reputation.

Reporter Glad to "Divy" to Save His
Reputation.
Before coming to Philadelphia Ger.
tain newspaper man was employed on
Baltimore paper whose city editor
was stickler for facts and brevity.
He also believed in encouraging his
men, and each week ten-dollar gold
piece was given the man who wrote
the best story that week.
On one occasion this reporter got in
police station report Of an acct.
dent to a young woman, who had been
injured In storm by falling tree.
The report was most comprehensive.
The next day the account, Just as IL
was written, was pasted on the buile
tin board in the reporters room Ac.
companying it was note from the
city editor, saying 1t was a master.
piece of accuracy and brevity. and that
the writer would draw down the week.
ly prize.
The reporters Joy was short lived,
however. A rat.eyed little office boy
called him aside. and in a stage wills.
per demanded:
Where did you git dat pipe dream?"
Somewhat surprised the prize-win.
ner told him, to which he replied
well, she lives next door to me.
see! Youse is got her sisters name
Instead Of hers in your story; the ad.
dress is wrong, and in the second
place the doctor is me brother, and his
name and address is also wrong, and
then again, she didn't break her arm,
but leg. Now, you give me half OF
dat prize money or I'll pipe the chief
Off"
He got the Philadelphia Led.
ger.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
CATCHING COLD
Is the Beginning of Most Winter
Acknowledgement Protects
Against and Cures Colds.

There is no fact of medical science better
established than that a teaspoonful Of Pc
runa before each meal during the winter
season will absolutely protect person
from catching cold Now, II this is true
land there is no doubt OF it), thousands Of
lives would be saved, and tens OF thou
sands OF cases OF chronic catarrh pro-
vented, by this simple precaution within
reach OF every one
After cold has been contracted tea
spoonful OF Peruna every hour will shortly
cure II, leaving no trace of IL behind.
After chronic catarrh has become estab-
tablished, or the first stages OF chronic
bronchitis or consumption have been
A FREE PE>RJLNA ALMANAC r
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
podaIna the Tax Collector.

In the American citizens attitude to-
ward his debt to the state, at least so
far as the rich are concerned, is per.
ceived steadily Strengthening In.
ciination to make fewer and less in
hstent demands upon himself. He dis
cards the high sense CT honor re-
CURED by his social code and resorts
TO various devices. scarcely stopping
short OF downright perjury to dodge
The tax collector.-Boston Advertiser
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03

Miss Rose Gordon, 2,l02 Oakland Ave,
Oakland Heights, Madison, Wis, writes -
"A few years ago caught a severe
cold, which resulted in chronic bronchItIs
and catarrh. Our family physician pre-
scribed medicines which gave temporary
roiief only. 1 began taking Peruna and
Improved Mt once. Two bottles cured me.
I recommend Peruns Co all sufferers, and
am most grateful to you for your valubie
mediclne."-MIss Rose Gordon.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
The Ped Ball.

Dame Nature now plays hostess,
Inviting one and all,
And so we put our skates on
And HE us TO the ball.
Her music Is the laughter
That's borne upon the breeze,
While for the bass the North Wind
Goes booming through the trees.
Her figures are the old ones
Beloved by us or yore;
The Fights aud double twisters
Upon her crystal floor.
Her favors are the red cheeks,
The sparkling eyes wlthal,
While often 10 the maidens
Some fellows heart will fall.
-McLandburgh Wilson.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
The Wonderful Cream sep,rator.

Does Its work in thirty minutes and
leaves less than l per cent butter fat.
The price Is ridiculously low, accord
ing to size, $275 to $500 each, and
when you have one you would not part
Herewith for fifty times its cost.
JUST SEND THIS NOTICE
with &c stamps for postage to the John
A. Salzer Seed Co. La Crosse, Wis. and
get their big catalog. fully describing
this remarkable Cream Separator, and
hundreds OF other tools and farm seeds
used by the farmer. CIV. N. u
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
Catarrh May Permeate the Whole
System.

Mrs. Mary f, Sampson, West Derry,
Rockingham County, y. II. writes:-
III had terrible headaches, both ears run
and was nervous all the time, also had
troable each month; was deaf In one ear
for thirty years. / took six bottles OF
Peruna and one OF Manalin and am happy
TO say that IL Is the best medicine that !
ever used. ! am not so nervous, my appe-
tite Is good, everything eat agrees with
/ think Peruna is Godsend TO women and
a blessing TO suffering humanity. MARY
IL. Sampson
II you do not derive prompt and satisfao-
tory results from the use OF Peruna write
at once 20 DIR. Hartman, giving full state
ment OF your case, and no VIII DO pleased
TO give you his valuable advice gratis.
Address DIR. Hartman, President of The
Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, Ohio.
yupU npTtr(TcT IIAC rIr-xE
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
Dust In the Air.

Approaching the great centers OF
population the quantity OF dust held
In suspension by the air increases
enormously. According to Sir James
Crichton Browne, the air of London
contains 10000 proportional parts OF
dust to Paris 10000, while in Argyll.
shire. Scotland there are only 200.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
Agriculture In CASTLE.

Land in CASTLE is in greater part
devoted to the production OF wheat,
and during planting and harvest
times laborers, especially reapers, are
taken there from Galicia.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03

reached, 1t will take much longer to effect
"A cure
IL seems strange that as we'll known and
well established as these facts are any
one should neglect to profit by thom, and
yet no doubt there are many who pay littlb
or no attention TO them and go on catching
cold, acquiring chronic oatarrh, bronchitis
and consumption.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03

i used two bottles and they restored me
easily and pleasantly to perfect health.
While my stomach was very delicate,
Peruna did not nauseate me in the least,
but gave me a good appetite, and wish Co
express my gratitude to you for restored
health."-MIss RosalIe Won struenning.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
suhaldized steamnra.

A new Italian line Of steamers &c
run to China receives government
subsidy of $4,000. A Russian line
has been established from Odessa to
New York via Naples and Marseilles.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
To Test Farm Machines.

The Agricultural Society OF LON.
hardy has decided to found and main.
tain IN Milan trial station for the
the testing Of agricultural machines.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
Quit Coughing.

Why cough, when for 25c and this
notice you get IS doses OF an abso-
lutely guaranteed cough cure in tablet
form, postpaid. WIS. DRUG CO.,
LA CROSSE, WIS. wv. N. W
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03

lido not believe Plsos Cure for Consumption
has an equal for coughs and colds.-JoHN h
BOYER, Trinity Springs, Ind, Feb. 10, 1900
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03

PUTNAM FADELESS DYES color
Silk Wool and Cotton at one boiling
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
THE GREAT ATTRACTIONS

The GREAT ATTRACTIONS
Good Crops. delightful climate, splendid
school system. perfect social conditions,
exceptional railway advantages, and wealth
and ahiuenoe acquired easily.
The population OF Western Canada Increased
$4,000 by immigration during the past year, over
$1,000 being Americans.
Write TO nearest authorized Canadian Government
AGENT for Canadian Atlas and other information
loI address Supt Of Immigration. Ottawa c anadal-
BEN DAVIES, ROOM o. DUNN BLOCK CEN
TRIAL AVENUE GREAT FALLS. MONTANA
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03

EVERY DRUGGIST HAS THEM.
The Mercur miner. [volume] (Mercur, Utah) 1895-1913, 1904-02-03
Arc The STAR ATTRACTIONS for 1904.

Millions OF acres OF magnificent Grain and Graz-
ins lands TO be had a free eff. or by purchase
from Railway Companies Land Corporations, etc
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
ELECTIONS in IOWA.
Municipal Officers Are Voted for In
Cities and Townsville
Results.

4 Des Moines, Ia, March 30.-George
Nv. Mattern (rep) was elected mayor Of
Des Moines Monday by about $500 ma
jority over w. L. Carpenter (dem.). The
entire republican ticket was elected, ex-
cept w. A. Trist, the candidate for po-
lice judge The nine republican alder
man candidates of the council were
elected.
Waterloo had a fight over the water
works question, and an aldermanic
ticket pledged to improve water condi-
tons was chosen.
I Boone elected council composed Of
two socialists, two republicans and one
democrat. 1t is railroad center.
An electric light franchise was in
dOrsed at the Mason City election.
In Fort Dodge, asphalt paving fur
nished the issue. Two republicans, one
democrat and one independent were
elected to the council.
Three republicans and one democrat
were elected in Iowa City.
Independence elected four republicans
and one democrat to its council.
At Clinton, James Patterson (rep)
Was elected mayor by 1.500 majority.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
ASK ARREST OF JUDGMENT
COUNSEL FOR SENATOR BURTON
REQUEST NEW TRIAL.
Motion Is Filed Before Judge at
st. Louis = The Case to
Be Appealed.

st. Louis, March S0.-Sentence was
not passed Tuesday upon United States
Senator Burton, of Kansas, who was
Monday found guilty in the United
States district court of having illegally
accepted payment from the Rialto Grain
and Securities company, of St. Louis.
for the use of his influence with the
postal department in behalf of that COM
pany's interests.
Counsel for Senator Burton has filed
a motion in arrest of judgment, and
there is now also before the court a
motion for a new trial, filed Immediate
ly after the verdict was rendered. Judge
Adams will first have to dispose of these
motions before sentence can be passed.
The defense is busily at work pre-
pairing bill of exceptions and making
"a complete record of the evidence intro
duced. 1t may take two or three days
before this is completed and the bill
of exceptions ready for filing. on which
to base an appeal to the United States
court of appeals, which is the court OF
highest jurisdiction in this case.
If sentence is finally passed upon Sen
ator Burton and his case is appealed,
he will be released on bond pending
the rehearing of the case by the court
of appeals at st. Paul on May 2.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
ADMIRAL TOGO.
Japanese Naval Hero, Commanding
Fleet in Yellow Sea.
OWNS LINCOLN'S GLASSES
watertown IN. W Woman Has Spec
tacles Worn by the Martyr
President.

A cherished treasure of Mrs. Andrew
B. Carter, of Watertown, N. Y, is pair
of spectacles formerly worn and owned
by Abraham Lincoln. They were found
in his pocket at the time he was shot by
John Wilkes Booth in Ford S theater. in
Washington, April ID, 1865.
Mrs. Carter's father, William H. II.
Keyes, was private in one of the regi-
ments quartered in Washington then,
and was on duty at the theater on the
night Of the tragedy He was one of the
detail that guarded the passage through
which the dying president was carried
from the theater. AS Lincoln was placed
in the carriage the spectacles Slid from
his pocket into the gutter, and before
Keyes could restore them the carriage
had driven away Keyes afterward
sent them to his wife, Mrs. Carter's
mother, and they have since remained
in the family. The glasses are Of the
old-fashioned kind, with heavy gold
bows and octagonal oblong glasses.
Got $40, 900 More.
The st. Louis commission finally got
it's additional $4,000. The legislature,
after juggling with the proposition few
lays, passed the bill again and sent it
back to the commission. But in passing
the new bill appropriating the money,
the legislature set out the specific pur-
poses for which it is to be used. To this
the commission has no objection. The
sum of s145, 900 will be expendedby Iowa
In making a showing at the worlds fair
at st. Louis this summer. About $40 900
Of this has gone into building.
Thinks It Doubtful.
There is little probability that con-
gress will appropriate any sum Of
money whatever for the improving or
Strengthening of the.Des Moines river,
according to letter received by G. G..
Church. Of South Ottumwa, from Con-
gresham j. F. Lacey The subject is
one of much interest to Ottumwa peo-
pie and 1t was hoped that If the APP
preparation had been made for inn
proponents on the river at Des. Moines
that little sum could be secured for
Ottumwa.
The Truth Comes Out.
Wife-You deliberately deceived me
when you asked me to marry you.
Husband-I did nothing of the sort
Wife-Yes. you did. You told me
that you were quite well off,
Husband-Yes, and so l was; but |
was foolish enough to imagine l would
be better off with a wife.-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Two Killed in Wreck.
Niles. Mich, March 26.-An extra
west-bound Michigan Central freight
train was wrecked at midnight Thursday
four miles west of here by a washout.
Engineer Edward French and Brakeman
Frank e. Young, of Jackson, were scald-
ed to death in the engine by escaping
steam. Fireman Ross Moses, of Jack
son, was terribly scalded and may die.
Ten freight ears were demolished.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05

tilla reached outside of Port Arthur ana
without Winding the searchlights OF the
enemy steered straight towards the en-
trance of the harbor. AT about two
marines leagues from the entrance the
'tbottling up squadron" was discovered
by the enemy. Thereupon the shore
batteries and guardships showered hot
fires upon the squadron, but, in spite OF
the terrific fire, the ships made their way
into the inner roadstead, one after the
other.
Not Completely Blocked.
The steamer Chiyo maru anchored at
a position about half cable from the
Golden Hill, blew up itself and sunk. the
Fukui maru passed little ahead OF the
Chiyo maru by its left side and at the
moment when she was lowering anchor
was shot by torpedo from the enemy's
destroyers and sunk in that position.
Hachi-Hiko maru anchored to the left
of Fulsui maru and blew up itself and
sunk. Yoneyama maru, colliding with
the stern of one of the enemy's torpedo
boat destroyers, passed between Chiyo
Z
the middle of the roadstead. AT this
moment the ship was shot by torpedo
from the enemy and, consequently by
reason of that torpedo, she was carried
toward the left side shore and sunk side
ways. The result of the action being as
above described, there is some space left
between Hachi-Hiko and Yoneyama
marus. It is a matter of regret that the
roadstead could not be completely
closed UP.
The Japanese losses were four killed
and eight wounded. Of the torpedo boat
f1otilla the Oadaka and Tsubame, While
escorting the "bottling up squadron"
and at about one mile from the entrance
of Port Arthur, engaged in fight with
one destroyer of the enemy, and in
| flicted serious damage on her. The enc
| my's ship retreated, raising an enormous
| column of steam as if her boiler was
broken. When all the members OF the
"bottling up squadron" had been taken
in and our boats withdrew to the out
| side of the harbor, a ship, which appeared
like one of the enemy's, was seen at the
foot of Golden Hill utterly incapable O
action. Although both our destroyer
flotilla and torpedo boat flotilla were
i subjected to terrific firing from the enc
my until the dawn, not the slightes
damage was done to any of the boats
American Flag Ordered Down.
London, March 30.-A correspondent
. of the Times at NewC hwang. cablin
under yesterdays date, says: THE Rus
slams to-day ordered the American fla
on the correspondents mess to be haule
down. The proclamation of martial LAY
completely paralyzes the whole com
merce of this port"
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
Lumber Plant Burued,

GAINESVILLE, Mimi, March sO.-The
sheds. Office and entire stock of the Ca
hill & Lampert Lumber company were
DESTROYED by fire. The loss is $4,000,
partly insured.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
Fire in Pittsburg.

Pittsburg, Pa, March 3o.-The ma
chine shops of the Pittsburg Valve Foun-
dry & Construction company, at TWEEN
ty-sixth street, were destroyed by fire
Tuesday night. The loss will probably
reach two hundred thousand dollars
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
private Bank Fails,

Eldora Ia, March 3O-The private
banking firm Of o. e. Miller & Son,
OF New Providence. has failed. Pro-
ceedings in bankruptcy have been be-
gun. The cause of the failure is not
announced.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
IN CONGRESS.
illinois Representative in Speech
Declares President an "Un-
safe Man"

Washington, March 30.-For want Of
speakers, general debate on the sundry
civil appropriation bill in the house
Tuesday was closed several hours be-
fore the time agreed on and the bill was
read for amendment. Seventy five pages
were disposed Of, the only important
amendment adopted being one providing
for an initial appropriation Of 100000
for the completion of the capitol building
according to the original design. Mr..
Campbell (Kan.) and Mr.. Williams (Ill.)
were the principal speakers, the former
defending the protective tariff policy Of
the republican party and the latter de-
nouncing the republicans for failing to
investigate the post Office department
Mr.. Williams said that the scandals in
that department will become an impor-
tant issue In the coming campaign. He
arraigned President Roosevelt and At
torney General Knox regarding the
trusts. Before he came into Office the
president, he said, was recognized as a
trust buster" but since then all his
indictments against the trusts were at
once turned into apologies. He said the
president was a harmless agitator," and
declared him to be an unsafe man.
The bill authorizing the erection of
an additional executive department
building in Washington was again the
subject Of spirited debate in the senate
and after several hours debate 1t re-
mains Enacted upon. Senator'S divided
largely on the question Of location, but
there also was talk as to the necessity
OF better office accommodations for the
senate and the supreme court.
Takes d Recess.
London, March 30.-The house Of COM
mons has adjourned until April IL. Mr.
Balfour says that the budget probably
Vtll be introduced April IL
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05

All voters who endorse the principles of the
Democratic party and who intend to support
its candidates are invited to participate in the
selection of delegates to this convention.
BY order of the Democratic State Central
Committee. A. E, JACKsNN.
N. q. ROBERTS, Chairman.
Secretary.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
NES vG GC0eine.

The Hostler-Say, the horses won't
eat that hay.
The Hustler-Well. tie it up in pack
ages and advertise 1t as new breakfast
Chicago American.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
W. +. MEAD, EDITOR.
OFFICIAL PAPER OF COUNTY
DEMOCRATIC STATE CONVENTION.

A delegate convention of the Democrats of
the State of Iowa is hereby called to be held at
Des Moines on WEDNESDAY, MAY 4, 1904. for
the purpose of selecting Four delegates at large
and twenty-five district delegates 1.-TWO from
each Congressional districD 30 represent the
Democrats OF the State at the National Con-
vention to be held at st. Louis on July 6, 1904
and to transact such other business as may
properly come before the convention.
The ratio of representation will be one dele
gate at large from each county and one dele
gate for each 200 votes or fraction of 100 or
over, cast for the Democratic candidate for
governor at the last general election.
The several counties will be entitled to tile
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
Sent to Prison.

Boston, March 30.-Wallace H. Ham,
formerly Boston manager Of the Ameri=
can Surety company, of New York, was
sentenced on Tuesday to serve not less
than fifteen nor more than twenty
years in the state prison at hard labor.
Ham last week pleaded guilty to two In
dictments charging him with embezzles
ment of nearly quarter Of a million dol
lars from the company and from st.
Luke's home for convalescents in Rox-
bury.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-04-05
DO YOU GET UP
WITH A LAME BACK ?
Kidney Trouble Makes You Miserable.
Almost everybody who reads the news
papers Is sure to know of the wonderful

cures made by DR..
Kilmer's Swamp-Root.
the great kidney. liver
and bladder remedy.
1t is the great medi-
caltriumph of the nine
teenth century; dis
covered after years of
scientific research by
DR.. kilmer, the emil
nent kidney and blad-
i --s-NsA