The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-07-24
PHILOSOPHER sat in his study
 where he had toiled for many years imrarting knowledge to the

M P1 where he had toiled for many . years imparting knowledge to the | ignorant and had found it thankless | task. Piled to the ceiling about the four sides of the chamber were huge tonnes representing the lore of ages. books that
 were the fruit of such labors as had consumed the years of his life and brought him to the brink of the grave with honor. maybe, but no ducats. Tho old man gazed with fond eye upon the countenance of a youth who sat at his feet The boy was fair of face and pleasing to look upon. having in his eyes the bold light which destined him to be a leader among men. Addressing his son the philosopher said:
 You may labor in vain for many years in honest pursuits, you may even attain to greatness in the course of time. my son, but if you would follow in the footsteps of wise men who wax opulent without work, be a politician. Verify in politics a man has everything to win and nothing to lose save honor Ee girds up his loins and issues forth a candidate for alderman. He is loud of voice and assured of mien; his golden rule is do others first, and his eye is trained to watch the money bags; in the forum he talks loud and long to his fellow citizens who wait pa tiently for the conclusion of his remarks knowing full well. as they do, that there will be something for the boys when the rally is ended; he rides in a carriage be- heath a plug hat and on all occasions poses as a prominent citizen. This man Is right with the older heads Tn municipal politics. and the result IS that he is | elected"
 Next we hear of him in the race for mayor continued the philosopher. "He is still on the right side of all public dues- tions, which means the side that suits the crowd, and again he triumphs. From mayor it is an easy step to governor, from governor to congress, from congress to the cabinet, from the cabinet to post of honor in foreign lands, and afterward retirement with competency which has been amassed by always holding a full hand and keeping another deck up his sleeve.
 "verily, politics Is an ideal profession my son. especially for the man who can not do anything else. Public honors fall thickly on the head of the politician. He walks abroad and reporters dog his foot steps. He tolls not, neither does he spin, and his chief occupation when not holding caucus with the assistance of fine cig- ars and liquid refreshments. is making speeches on public occasions that are usu- ally supplemented by a banquet. About the only time when a politician really works is when he superintends the distri- button of pie, by which homly term Is meant political preferment; or Is endeav- bring to secure a slice of that delectable delicacy for himself. When a fellow poli- tician rises with an ambition to take his office away he is popularly supposed to labor strenuously, but as a matter of fact his activity is confined largely to working the wires while his lieutenants fix the voters. Any one will agree that this is an easy life and the returns are highly remunerative."
 While the lecturer is not a modern pro- duct by any means, he has become so progressive here ofNlate that he Is worthy of more than passing attention. Nova days notoriety is apparently a leading qualification for success on the lecture platform. Heroes are most in demand by lyceum bureaus but sensational heroes are comparatively few in number and the result is that a great many freaks have been introduced to which the public makes no objection.
 A great discussion has been awakened in the land over toothpicks. It seems to be the concensus of opinion that tooth picks are vulgar. but nevertheless It Will be some time yet before the dining public is cultivated up to that state where tooth- picks will be universally tabooed. And while the present crusade on the part of fastidious reformers may cause a deal of interesting discussion the manu- lecturers of toothpicks need not fear that their very profitable business will suffer appreciably.
 The rumor of another big financial combination to 'bull' cotton next winter is meeting with a favorable reception among southern farmers, who stand in position to reap all the benefits and run none of the risks. While Sully seems to be down and out he is nevertheless held in grateful esteem by many plan ters who profited by his spectacular deals and the chances are that a new bull taador will he hailed with acclaim