The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1904-11-30
JUST FOR FUN

V~
80 Mr.. and Mrs. Jones have quar-
relied? Why doesn't she make up?"
"She does, dreadfully. That's why
they quarrelled. Judge.
"Oh, no! know what's the matter
with you. You're seasick." The Girl
I'm not seasick at all, Bobby Brown.
I've felt like this en- land lots of
times Puck.
Wife (quotlng)-A mans works fin.
ished with the setting sun; a woman's
work is never done. Husband (brute)
Quite right, my dear. I've often re-
marked the omission.-Punch.
Gaggsby-Jones is very wealthy, but
he says his life is full of trials"
| Waggsby-"Yes, that's what makes
him wealthy" "How so?" Hes a
lawyer. Cincinnati Commercial Trib-
| ue.
Bllnks-What did you say to your
wife when you got home late last
night? Jinks-My Dear. Binks-Is
| that all? Jinks-Yes. She began talk
ing then.-Cincinnati Commercial T ib-
une.
'"Very well, SIR" said DR.. Quack,
after his quarrel with the undertaken,
| "1'll make you sorry for this!" What
are you going to do?" asked the un-
dertaker, "retire from practice?'--
Philadelphia Press.
| Wife (who has been away)-You
must have liked that breakfast food,
| James dear. There isn't single box
left. James-Yes, darling. 1t was
great (sotto voice) to start the fire
with, mornings.
Barber-Did Weaver give you any
security for the money he borrowed of
you? Draper-No; he said 1t would be
secure enough in his possession. Bar.
ber-Come to think about 1t, ! guess
it will be-Boston Transcript.
Wife--Do you believe that marriage
Is lottery? Husband-No. ! don't
Wife-,Why not? Husband-Because
when man draws blank in lottery
he can tear 1t up and take another
chance.-Chicago Daily News.
Hes writing a novel;" II suppose
he was out of his mind?" ''He is and
he thought 1t would be more success
full II he wrote while in that condition
It's to be of the regular popular order
you know. ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Bertha-Ycu don't mean to say you
have refused Frederick" Edith
had to. He told me he had never done
anything he was ashamed Of never
could think of marrying a shameless
man, you know."-Boston Transcript
Say old man, want to sell you a
ticket for our social clubs private
theatricals. Not me. haven't
time to go to those things, =
Nobody asked you to go. | merely
want to sell you ticket. ."--Philadel
phia Press.
"a public official is the servant OF
the people," said Senator Sorghum
yes" answered Miss Cayenne; land
sometimes he's the kind of servant
that carries a market basket every
time she goes hcme from her place OF
employment" Washington Star.
"See here, old man, what in thunder
did you mean by advising my daugh'
ter to go abroad to study music? She's
no phenomenon, and | can't afford 1t
You knew all that" But we're or
the same fiat aren't we? know wher
I've had enough. Detroit Free Press
She-Did you send verses to the girI
you were engaged to? He-Yes; thai
was the whole trouble. / see, she
didn't like them? On the contrary
she did like them. But she discovered
that another fellow wrote 'em, ant
she married the other fellow!-Yon'
kers Statesman.
Barnes-Hcwes is pretty good sorI
of a fellow Shedd-Yes, but he hasn't
got any tact At the restaurant the
other day he asked me If | was font
of cats, and | was eating rabbit stew
at the time The idea of asking sucf
question at such time as that
Boston Transcript.
80 you don't care for pcetry?
mo" said the eminent inventor
"Only the other day | heard a young
woman singing had l the wings OF {
dove Now the wings Of dove wcult
be wholly insufficient in atmospheric
resistance for any practical purpose
whatever. What she really wants Il
a tetrahedral kite. Washington Star
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