Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1904-12-03
TTIE CHICAGO EAGLE.

Some men are better satisfied with
failure than others are with success.
~eA
In the course of time the oldest in
habitant becomes survivor.
If you feel inclined to criticise some
one stand in front of a mirror.
~9A
Half loaf may or may not he bet.
ter than no bread. 1t depends alto
gether on the maker.
~
A man never kicks II his name Is
misspelled In the police records Of
newspaper.
In the bright lexicon of the hustler
there is no such word as enough"
Many woman who can converse
In five languages Is unable to shut up
in one.
~eA
If wives would continue TO be sweet
hearts lots of husbands would cease to
pay their club dues.
~
Most Of our time is spent in getting
used to the things we didn't expect.
~6~
A wise physician sometimes hatters
a man by telling him he has brain
fag.
As a practical joke. II man held up
friend, and was mortally wounded
as the result. 1t Is not every practi.
cal Joke that has its moral SO well
pointed.
The Creators most serious mistake
was made IN the neglect to provide
that wOnens cheeks might always be
red and their noses never.
~9A
4 man will never acquire u fortune
unless he Is proof against the habit Of
buying useless things because they are
cheap.
A man with turn for practical jOk.
Ing undertook to hold up Il friend at n
secluded spot under cover Of darkness.
1t proved to be u huge joke. all right,
but the undertaken Is about the only
man who ls In position to appreciate
| 1.s s,f L., al
Jean DE Reszke gets $40 nn hour fol-
music lessons. Perhaps if Patti could
do that she might forcgo the sweet sor
row Of saying gOod.by to American au
diences.
~eA
a Baltimore street car conductor
who found $1,000 in his cur was given
Il reward of % cents when he returned
the money to its owner. llctty Greer
wasn't In Baltimore ut the time. either
~6A
Prof. Ross of the Nebraska Unlver
sity says every family should have
tour children. Parents who have nl
ready exceeded the limit may udop,
their own plans for getting rid Of the
surplus.
Those Russian editors who are re
jolclng In the liberties they now enjoy
should try II few months Of editing III
America to get Il grasp Of what free
dom Of the press really means.
~6A
: The King OF Spain has consented Il
act as arbitrator between Honduras
: and Nicaragua. Who can deny that
Progress Is progressing when children
may settle disputes between great ma
tons?
The Georgia surgeon who defended
: his hospital from mob seeking Il
hang one of the patients furnishes M
example which entire regiments o.
militia may well follow in dealing will
lynching parties.
~N
Another claim has been made tina
, Adam ana Eve were black persons. Al
soon rs proper number of persons
can be induced to believe 1t. the author
of the story will begin advertising hi
\ famous bleaching process.
) ~9A
\ Boston society woman who en
deavOred to smuggle Il pearl necklace
through custom house was caught n
IL ana the jewels were cOntiscate,i
Stlll, this probably had less than Mr.
Douglas advertising to do with th'
result In Massachusetts.
~
The latest achievement Of the jOcu
lar friends Of newly married couple
was to slip pair Of handouts Oh thu
, grOOm's wrists ut the beginning Of thu
wedding jorney. Some time II complete
triumph Is going to be achieved by
clcverly poisoning both bride ant
groom ut the wedding supper.
~A
That famous Psychologist VIII,
found that 1t took 12O years and $500,
OOO to build NOah's ark might hav,
gone II step farther and told us II Cap
!. tain Noah equipped his craft with lift
preservers stuffed with sawdrst OF
a