New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-02-08
LETTERS OF AN OLD MAID.
Xxx
To A YOUNG GIRL


Dear Madge: How do you suppose can comply
with your request The idea OF girl coming TO
an old maid for-what did you call titan Essay
on Man or. you slyly hint, an Essay on Love
would do as well, You are a minx-emphatcally,
G mink Let me recall your reasons FOR coming
10 this shop TO have your order flied. You like
my little lectures. in which always vehemently
discairn the least intention OF Offering advice! Ana
all the trne"-you -ay-he letter IS fairly bristling
with advice. delivered IN the form % a whimsical
expression OF theories and personal notions"
copied that 10 show you what fine language II is.
and how outraeeously impertinent. And you want
some Of my advice the very last subject which
7 am supposed TO know anything about. yiz-. men
and-save the mark,-lovers. Well
Ny dear girl I am distinctly aware OF having
given forth several essays on man. Of various de-
grees OF artuteness and brllancy IN the course OF
nv recent correspondence. But can't remember
whether any OF them were addressed 70 you or not.
However will endeavor n tell you briefly what
] know about a social anirnal-in other
words man IN HIS relation 20 womankind-
Some one recently gathered statistics 20 mems
requirements in choosing their wives. have
poor "statistcal' faculty. but n remember right
II not one out 81 the hundred bachelors con-
suited mentioned beauty as the demand % his
soul; hut few mentioned wealth or good taste in
dress and these only with qualifications. Intel
lect, Of course. was at a discount though an N
teIgent chum" was the desideratum in some cases.
The domestic virtues prevailed.
inquiry for. in the first place. don't believe that
anybody knows one hundred bachelors Familiarity
at least. and in the second place ! am confident
that each bachelor would. consciously or uncon-
sceusly. assume pose IN constructing his reply.
In ninety cases out OF the hundred should OBJ
tain an insincere reply; for what bachelor would
deliberately confess that his main preference was
for beauty dress or wealth? And yet what bach
elor ever resists these frivolous attractlons7
Ny dear. I can't deny that II you seek quantity
rnen'D your attractions must be OF ephemeral
and inferior sort. II. the other hand you pre-
fer quanty-the friendship that lives. the love that
crowns you with honor-you will be content with
the homage Of the few whom your honest and
noble self can attract. Re yourself. first Of all:
but be a worthy self II anything must be sacri-
feed let Il not be sincerity dignity. After that
be Just attractive you know how 70 be-as
at womans instinct is TO attract; her privilege
probably sacrifice sonething OF her indlscTininate
that determines these things. and know Of no
more terrible motive than simple vanity. I had
S9 p oy snat was s worse than any form OK
is the most destructiye force that woman exercises
But you viii say, this lie an essay not on man. but
how my essays going 20 turn out. II / havs
10 give title. I usually select It after the screed
switch on from the track on which started Like
his article Domestic Pets" and. having occasion
mention the elephant. became interested in
space with a description Of its habits and customs
Neither the writer the editor appeared 70 have
discovered any incongruity between the title and
the subject matter I remember reading Il with
interest and mentioning TO the family that had
learned q good deal about the elephant by means OF
an article n so-and-so's magazine. What was Il
Ro% queer Domestic Pets This IS ei fSet
as they used 70 say in footnotes
young men. and was arrested by the involuntary
study OF white elephants. Now, II really intended
to give advice girls (which l dob I should
begin by saving, don't be silly; Don't Imagine
every man In love with you who looks at you with
several evenings: or even compliments you extrava-
gantly and declares that ne is in love with you.
thingi I saying all this for the benefit OF some
foolish virgins TO whom you may give advice.
But dear Madge. there IS just one word that
Hold II high and never let the dust OF the world
with the height and depth and breadth OF your
nature do not give yourself. but wait. although
Remember. s. Is not necessarily the single woman
who Is the disappointed OF diillusionzed woman IL
the biterer experiences OF love Even the unl1veo
woman realizes more OF me ter soul ex-
perience than she who has lowered her standard
nberaeTaI passion or any other substitutes FOR
the high gods That is the best thought can si'7
As to nndins the right man. or knowinss, hin,
when ne comes. you are a law unto yoarsLsi- and
fbereaftsr learn the nobier virtues IN the school
9-a4sf suea mistakes lies within yourself l. MI
not through the advice OF tfiei1 he vourseif
The touch-tone TO test the spirits that cav ciesr
70 cal;yS.s :'F Outlook upon lie making
neither n god OF pleasure nor fetch OF sen 4, Ia
n nss; c Tasa SS have s hoth,he to
Here is the essay however you So9 5erhaps all
the more because don't need it pR5 9srS nIth
eriy,
TASTE FOR GRAPEFRUIT.