The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-19
A WEEK IN NEW ENGLAND,
WHAT 4 NEW YORKER LEARN
 ED

East and incidentally prosecuting an investigation of the New England char acter, assisted by some New York friends who are passing their first winter near the Hub, and I can testi- fly that the many jokes of the funny paers directed against the intellectual phenomena of that region have a sub stantial basis in fact. The solemn small boy who answers to the name of Waldo or Everett and discourses pom derously on evolution and the categori- cal affirmative as he walks the streets with his mother is fact. Here are two or three authentic stories anent his elders. Two of my friends were at the Boston station and one of them had gone to the baggage room. On re- turning she cried, Isn't it too bad. The trunks haven't come yet. What shall we do?'' A lady sitting near by turned an impressive face toward them We never worry" she said, conscious ly setting an example on the spot.
 Whether this is mere Boston or Boston, cum-C Christian science, I know not, but the two are akin. The little girl of a neighbor was found sweeping up the cigar ashes dropped on the floor by her grandfather with her toy broom and
 dust-pan. Its awful habit; it's a awful habit" she was saying aloud to herself in a stern and sorrowing tone of voice. The telephone number of my friends house is 1O64-2. q shall never forget t.) When they had occupied the house short time some one with @ melodious masculine voice rang them
 up and asked for Mrs. Jones. This lis not Mrs. Jones's,'' he was told. Are you sure? It always has been her huber and hers is now different" "Oh, what a pity evlaimed the voice. Tt
 was such an easy number to remem-
 Der" What do you mean?" said my friend. T have been trying to learn
 it for a week and I find it very diffi- cult" Why, it is very simple" he re-
 piled. Add ? to 1O64 and you have the
 date of the Norman conquest"
 Thank you so much" said my friend;
 $ now I shall be able to remember it." T am very glad to have been of ser vice to you,'' answered this Massachu- setts Chesterfield, Tt will repay you in
 part for the trouble have put you to. Good-by."
 l had the good fortune to attend one of the Saturday lunches of the Twen- tieth Century club at Boston. Sixty or 80 of the most thoughtful men of the city drop in at the club-rooms for a light lunch once week and invite some one with something to say to ad- dress them. On the day on which l was with them, we listened to an ad- mirable address on the Panama ques- tion from Prof. Gardiner of the Boston university law school. It was able, elo- quent, fair and conclusive as it see-Ied to me, and of course 1t condemned the presidents policy. A good deal of fault was found by the republicans present because no one had been en- ! gagged to take the other side, but re- marked the fact that not one of them was able at the time to contest the
 professors position. It seems to me
 that if I had a deep-rooted conviction
 on any subject, I would be ready to take up the cudgels for my side on short notice. But it is a tough job to support the administration in this mat ter and these gentlemen showed it by their unanimous failure 10 enter the | breach.
 | &hy OWh N1CW0 Ot bAlC QuCo~ l ton are very simple. Twenty-Five 1 years ago one of the favorite questions propounded by the middleman to the bones at minstrel shows was, Why | does a dog wag his tail?" After Sambo had made number of futile guesses MT. Johnsing would explain in his us-
 ual contentious manner that dog wags | his tail because he is bigger than his tail. If the tail were bigger than the dog, it would undoubtedly wag the dog,
 but the contrary being the case, it was
 a scinetific necessity that the dog
 should wag the tail Look at your ! see clearly that the Ishtmus of Pana-
 ma is it's tail, and that, roughly speak l ing, the United States of America is it's body The United States wags the 1 isthmus, and not only wags it, but I because it is bigger than the isthmus,- ! and that is all there is of it. and when l the president talks of holding a man l date from civilization,' whatever that may mean, he is trying to conceal the truth beneath mass of verbiage. And people say that the anti-imperialists
 sentiment, what is it?
 My own CilGl OUJScttOU EtO lllS GdIld- ma business is the way in which it was done. We expect nations to steal
 and it would be rather Quixotic to ob- l ject to it, but there is a decent way to steal and an indecent one. The old fashioned highwayman was the pink of ! politeness, but we do our stealing like
 cads. If I wanted to buy my neigh bors horse for $1000 and he asked $1500, and l was determined to have the beast on my own terms, surely the
 most vulgar way of annexing him
 would be to give his coachman $500 or
 the sly to put him in my stable. And
 that is practically what we did, even il
 the president and NJ. Hay never sai6
 a word on the subject, for the millions to be paid for the canal were dangling before the eyes of the Panamaians
 MT. Roosevelt and Mr Hay belong tc the "sillS-stocking element in politics
 but they have rushed in to this busi. ness barefoot l have no objections tt the right of secession for good cause but l object to the subornation of se
 cession by the implied promise of mon, ey-bags. Suppose Great Britain were negotiating with us for the harbor oi Portland, Me, and we stood out for z big price, and the Maine Legislature ! seeded on basis of half-price, casf
 down, would it be an ordinary case O. secession? I trow not. We are loya and patriotic people in Duchess county but if you will give me 1000 il