The Topeka state journal., 1904-01-29

The abolition of liquor at next year S
banquet. however, did not have any
effect upon the one given by the assO-
citation last night Promptly at o'clock
the doors of the dining room of the
Copeland hotel We're thrown open to
over hundred lawyers. and for sew
erai hours thereafter sounds issued
from the room which are generally re-
garded to be suggestive of a good time.
Never has more successful function
of its kind been given in Topeka.
l.. H. Perkins, of Lawrence, who was
rightly selected head Jester" for the
master with credit to himself. and
when he was not dealing out merry
quips at the expense of the gentlemen
present he was relating funny story,
some of them old perhaps, but all ad-
mirably suited to the occasion.
AS usual G.. c. Clemens made the hit
of the evening. Mr.. Clemens responded
to the toast of 1.-The Court that Licks
Us, and spoke at length upon that
This is absolutely the first banquet
given by an association of lawyers said
Mr.. Clemens. where 1 have been
obliged to go two blocks in order to get
drlnk-laWyers, mind you. What do
you think of that? I am surprised that
you have here gentleman who halls
from the city of Leavenworth. l doubt
that there is anyone here from Wich-
lta. When [ think of the conditions
which obtain here this evening I am re-
minded of a quotation from The
Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner I will
reconstruct it to suit the occasion:
Water, water everywhere but not a
drop of anything else That's a fine
state of affairs isn't it? 1 consider it
as an exhibition of decay upon the part
Of the lawyers of this state
There is one thing that do not like
about this toast, The Court That Licks
U.s. and that is the word, US. If 1 so
far forgot myself as to overlook this
little word and speak upon this subject
as 1t stands on the programme, it would
imply that had been licked by a court.
L want IT understood right now before [
begin that no court that lives has ever
licked me. 1t is true that several
times within the past year the court
and I have differed in our respective
opinions regarding the correct diSposi-
tiOn of a case, but I am not willing to
admit that have been licked. [ re-
member one case where I received a
per curiam decision, and / want it un-
derstood now that if it is ever done
this here town. But I have never been
licked. Consequently I think that it
would be best for me to make a slight
change in my subject. I will now tell
of The Court That Licks You instead
of The Court That Licxs Us "
Mr.. Clemens then told of the many
troubles which are likely to come to
lawyer when he takes a case before a
supreme court and closed by paying a
high tribute to the supreme court of
the state of Kansas.
According to the time card" David
Overmyer was the next speaker after
Mr.. Clemens but he was not able to at
tend the banquet and T. A. McNeaI
was called on for an address in Mr..
Overmyer's stead. Mr.. McNeal was ac-
corded a hearty reception by the mem
bers of the association and delivered
one of his inimitable speeches in which
he told several OF his witty stories.
"A lawyer" said Mr.. McNeal, els
about the only person I know of who
can look man square in the face and
and at the same time rob him of his last
cent. 1 am reminded of a story which
concerns a certain minister whose
hobby was a little garden in which he
raised his own vegetables. Next door
to the minister lived a lawyer who
owned a COW. and the minister was
often troubled by the COW breaking into
the enclosure which surrounded his
garden and trampling his vegetables
into the earth. Finally he decided to
go to his neighbor, the lawyer, and
state his case.
" Can a man secure damages said
the minister to the lawyer, after intro
ducing himself and getting down TO
business, in a case where his neigh
boris COW breaks down his fence and
tears his garden up by the roots?
" Why, most assuredly he can an
Swered the lawyer. seeing a chance of
making a little easy money.
Well, II that's the case,' said the
minister, 7 hereby notify you that it