The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-14

Z nat he 1HdQG 1t MillIG llElI.0 dIld Gil
joyed it when dead.
"Still slowed away somewhere in tht
basement, | believe. is the rough model
of a combined plough and cannon, a
patent upon which was applied for by
a Nebraska farmer. His farm was near
the Sioux reservation, and the cannon
attachment to his plough was meant Tor
the sun dancing Ogallalas who engaged
in farm raiding.
Il while ploughing in his field the crafty
agriculturist could, by simply turning his
plough upside down, load small but
effective cannon wherewith to shoot or
scare the proving red persons. The
| cannon was provided with an arlrnunl-
ton box and all of the appliances nee
essary for the proper serving of the
piece
another queer application from a
| Western farmer was for patent on a
| thing he called hen Dusher. 1t was in
| tended to prevent hens from scratching
and monkeying around in garden patch
| es Hooks of peculiar construction were
| to be attached to the hens feet so that
when she dug into the ground she was
| gently pushed forward bv the hook and
| spring apparatus.
| another application for a patent on
a device for the bewilderment of the
| abused hen came in a while ago. 1t was
called a patent hens nest The idea of
! it was to prevent wease1s, rats and the
| like from raiding hens nests and suck
ing the eggs.
There was a small hole, concealed
| by a natural looking straw flap in the
| bottom of the nest, and through this
secret orihce the egg, as soon as the
| hen laid it, was dropped to a padded
l SEl,o~a 1a+
of 1neanness about that device, in my
| opinion. But some of these agricultural
| inventors are forever fixing up under
| hand devices for the humiliation and
| encouragement of the hen.
"A few years ago machine called
| the mechanical housemaid was actually
patented. The apparatus churns butter,
| washes and irons clothes, rocks the
| baby and performs all the rest of the
household work except the fancy sewing
| and putting the cat out at night. The
patentee, in his specifications, described
the operation of the machine at great
length.
You place your baby in the cradle
he wrote, in essence. your cream in the
churn, your clothes to be washed in the
receptacle provided therefor &C., and
the rest was the Tnerest turning of a
various activities to buzzing
"A peculiar patent, actually granted,
for the saving of human life from burn
ing buildings is a portable parachute
continuance which the inventor aims to
have installed in every room of every
hotel on the globe. The man who is
caught on the twelfth or twentieth floor
of burning hotel has only to fasten
the parachute firmly to his head by
means of chin and neck straps, ard then
jump into space. with or without NUT
tered prayer.
Before DOMINIC the portable para
chute he has fastened shoes with thick
rubber so1es to his feet-the shoes being
part of the apparatus-in order to give
him a gentle bounce when he hits the
ground The chap who invented this
thing gave a demonstration of the work
ing of the continuance before he received
his patent, hopping off the roof of a
hotel in Western city, unbelsnownst to
the proprietor of the hostelry.
The parachute opened up all right, |
but the inventors descent was so eN-
trernely gradual and deliberate that he
was considerably more than three parts |
hanged by The neck when he reached |
the ground.
..An invention for the terrifying of rats
and mice was patented long ago, and t
understand that it has become a seller.
The invention was simply a papier
mache cat provided with luminous eyes.
The idea is to PUNK the papier mache
cat down before a rat hole and the
luminous eyes do the rest.
'.All sorts of patents have been grant
ed for rendering the milking of cows
easy or easier. Orville Grant, brother
of Gen. Grant, got out one of these
patents. The fact that it wasn't partic-
ularly practicable was manifested by
Gen. Grants description of how it work
ed.
".Orville tried the thing on an I'M
trained COW that had no respect for
patents said Gen. Grant. 'Orville
didn't look so pretty when he got
through, but he knew damned sight
more
A Snicaoo man who stated in his
application that he had been twice held
up by footpads, neither of whom he
cared to shoot to death with the pistol
he carried on his person because he did
MT want to have the shedding of human
blood on his soul, applied for a patent
on hollow bullet with a gelatine tip.
The hollow bullet was to be filled with
a certain powerful gas.
Upon striking the miscreant intended
to be brought down the soft gelatine tip
OF the bullet would drop off, permit
ting the escape of the aforementioned
powerful gas, the overpowering narcotic
of which were designed toi
put the victim to sleep for an indefinite
length of time. The Chicago man
couldn't exactly prove his case, and SO
he didn't get his patent
Plenty of contrivances have been in
vented for awakening hard sleepers. One
of them is a sort of automatic hydraulic
jack. which begins operations at the
required and adjusted hour by slowly
pushing the mattress upon which the
hard sleeper reposes up toward the cell
ing.
An eminently clever little patent was
a babys rattle, invented by a girl of 8
years of age. The patent was taken out
III the little ones name, and an affidavit
was submitted to the effect that thefchild
had devised the invention without any
assistance whatever.
Some patents taken ont by A number |