davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1904-04-28

4 variety OF Yufxx.=
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ana srr,s,ot hlDore
rh eir shooting
nexvers are indi-
erent. ana fhev
lac.x l,esls ii Tia
as,alitlee 81 co,lr-
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Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1904-04-28

Lieutenant General A. Stoessel, CONE
mandanf 81 Port Arthur. Is 4 German
oflicer who has spent many years In the
military service Of the ear. lie was
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
A FAMOUS HOAX.
Tke Trick Theodore Hook Played on
Woman He DisIikec.


Woman He DisIiked.
Theodore Hook, the wit par excel
lcnce of the early nineteenth CEN
tury, is a name that still brings q
kind of genial glow to the mind as
at the remembrance Of good and
happy days. We suspect, however,
that very few people today could
give definite account of who Theo-
dore Hook was and what he did.
An article in the Cornhill by Wis
count st. Cyres sets the wit and his
circle pretty clearly before the mind.
This famous hoax, for example,
played off on Mrs. Tottenham, an
old lady of Berners street who had
offended him, may be new to many
readers and is at least worth re-
peating:
'I'll make The old woman the talk
Of London" he said, and according
ly wrote to every sort and kiad Of
person-it is said to 1000 in all
asking them to call at her house in
Berners street on a certain day.
''The first thing Witnessed" says Il
newspaper of the time, "was six
stout men bearing an organ, sur
rounded by wine porters, BARRIERS
with wigs, mantaumakers with
bandboxes, opticians with the vari-
Gus instruments of their trade.
Wagons laden with c0al from the
Paddington wharfs, upholsterers'
goods in cart loads, pianofortes, lin
en- and jewelry of every description
filed the street. Besides these, a
coffin was brought to the house,
made by order, agreeable to letter,
five feet six by sixteen inches. There
were accoucheurs, tooth drawers,
miniature painters and servants of
every description wanting places.
Certain revelations to be made re-
specting complicated system of
fraud pursued at the Bank of Eng
land brought the governor of that
establishment. The lord mayor and
his chaplain were allured by an invi-
tation to receive the deathbed con-
fession of a peculating common
council man, while the Duke of
Gloucester started of with Colonel
Dalton to receive communication
from dying woman, formerly a
confidential attendant on his royal
highness' mother. His were the
royal liveries conspicuous on the oc-
casion."
There must certainly have been
zest to life in those days, though
the old lady of Berners street may
not have enjoyed the joke as much
as did Theodore Hook and the actor
Lintot, who rented a chamber op-
Posite the fated house and looked
down on the wilderness of wagons
and carriers that filed the ways for
blocks around.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
A Preferred Creditor.

A member of the commercial
:swindling fraternity lately called
his creditors together and offered
them in settlement his note for 2
shillings in the pound on their
claims, payable in four months. His
brother, one of the largest creditors,
rather kicked, but the debtor took
him aside and said:
''Do not make any objections, and
l will make you preferred cred
itor."
So the proposal was accepted by
all.
Presently the preferred brother
said:
"Well, I should like what is com
ing to me-"
get anything; they won't any of
them get anything"
"But I thought I was preferred
,creditor?"
$50 you are. These notes will not
be paid when they come due, but it
will take them four months to find
out tnat they are not going to get
anything. But you know it now.
You see, you are preferred."-Lon-
sdon Standard.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
Anderson County Mutual Ben
eft Association of America,

The Anderson County Mutual Benefit
Association of America w-ites the oheep-
eat insurance Of the day: The plan 10 to
take one thousand people, mon and wo-
men, bind them together in business
way TO help each other In time OF need
and trouble. You only pay when one
diep. II you join now your frat paymeDt
pays you up until January, 1904, unleqs
we lose one of our members, If the hano
OF Providence should sever the silver
thread that holds the life Of one of our
loved ones, friend or neighbor, who
would hesitate moment on paving the
little sum Of One Dollar and ten cents to
replace the amount and paw EXPENSES
paid out on death claim. Consider the
matter, examine and study our plan
You ere receiving insurance o protect
your family at aCtuai ,ost. Don't stand
back, let our agencies write you up at
once.
II there Is snythiu5 you wish to know
In regard to the policy call on any Of the
agents and they will take pleasure in
explaining the pulley to you. Remem-
Der this IL the only opportunity ever
presented 70 you at actual cost. You
owe 1t to your family, you owe it TO your
self to secure their protection in case you
are taken away from them. IF you are
over thirty years Of age this Is the only
chance you will have of getting In.
After 900 members have been secured
no one over thirty gets ia, &nd he only
to replace deceased member.
N. r. GREEN, Pres,
j. NJ. PAYNE, Sec. and Treas.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
Morning Walkers.

A writer in the London Chron-
icle, netting a reference in Scribner's
Magazine to sign in a Dutch town,
81. Y. D. Zwaan, Morgen Wekker"
(Which means morning waker), notes
that the industry is common in the
districts where London workingmen
live, and sixpence a week from each
client is the usual "waker's" wage.
All over London, too, policemen
make little extra in waking those
whose work calls them early. He
tells of seeing South Kensington
constable clambering suspiciously
upon a wall. There the peace Off
Ger caught the end of rope and
pulled till an answering shout was
heard. The constable explained
that the other end of the rope was
affixed to a bakers bedclothes.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
ULYSSES and PhiIip,

Time cannot change nor custom
stale the infinite uniformity OF the
human heart. When the late Ad-
miral Philip reproved his enthusi-
astic men at the battle of Santiago
with the tender words of compassion
for the defeated foe, "Don't cheer,
boys; the poor devils are dying" !"
the heart of the world responded
approvingly. But the American ad-
miral was not the first man to have
that feeling for the humane propri-
eties in the face of death. It is re-
lated of Ulysses, also & sailor, that
he chided the old nurse when she
began to rejoice over the slaughter
of Penelope's wooers, telling her
that her satisfaction at the doing
of justice must not be expressed
aloud, 'for it is an unholy thing to
boast over slain men," Ulysses and
Philip each knew that he was an
instrument in the execution of q
righteous purpose, but when the
work was done each was saddened
by the thought that death had come
through his acts, and each was trans
formed from an avenging agent into
a compassionate man. = Youths
COMPANION,
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
Tribute to q Mother.

Sir John Blunden Maple was new
'er tired of telling his friends how
much he owed to his mother. He
used to say, "She was the cleverest
woman I ever knew" and he often
related the advice she gave him
when as boy he thought of being
called to the bar. eff ever you were
to become lord chancellor" she said,
you would have reached the end of
all things in that profession. You
would have such and such an in
come and such and such position,
which are already known to you.
But if you go into business there is
no limit to your opportunities .
The boy chose his fathers business
and, as he often said, never forgot
his mothers adyice.-Exchange.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
GENERAL NEWS.

= The city of Baltimore was swept
by great fire last Sunday. The loss
of property, 1hich is estimated at
$40, 900, 900, will make it the third
most destructive fire in the history Of
this country.
- Deadville, Miss, little town, is
experiencing some serious .oe trou-
bles. Several persons Of both races
have been killed. Whites are search
ing for several other negroes and de-
clare tnet they will lynch them.
Colorado will exhibit potatoes
ct the Worlds Fsir Of monstrous pro-
portions. The commission has 500
tubers that aggregate ton in weight.
The heaviest weighs Ecu pounds and
the lightest three and half pounds.
With the assistance of the lstes.
machine piece of leather eau be
transformed into pair Of boots in
tnirty-four minutes, iu which time
it passes through the hands of sixty
three people aud through fifteen ma
chimes.
Three negroes were tried and
convicted and sentenced IN six
hours-at Wheeling, w. Va, for
breaking into St. John 8 Home at Elm
Grove and attempting to assault one
Of the nuns. One who confessed, was
given Eve years, one ten and the other
- Mrs. Kramer, ON trial in Kansas
City for the murder of her first hus-
band three years ego, was found not
guilty on the ground that she was in
sane when she fred the fatal shot.
At previous trial she was convicted
but q new trial was secured on a tech
nicality. During the interim between
the two trials she married again.
- The AeheviIle Cotton Mills have
decided to curtail production by clos
ing down one day week. Beginning
this week the mills will not run on
Saturday. They will close ut 4:3C
every Friday afternoon and resume
operations the following Monday
morning. This ourtailment is due to
the prevailing high price of cotton
and will continue in effect until chan
ged conditions warrant o return to 6
six day run.
Congressman w. S. Burleston
of the Tenth Texas District, went
home from Washington, distance OF
5000 miles, for the express purpose
of paying $l.75 poll tax. The con
gressman neglected to pay this tax
before leaving home and he was in
formed that it could not be paid by
proxy and that he would be disfran
chised as a voter and Office. holder il
he did not return in person and pay
his poll-tax by January 81.
- Arthur S. Hail answers twice to
the roll call of the Massac chusetts
house Of representatives., there being
two members of that body bearing
that name-one from Revere aad Tx
other from Winchester. He Of Revere
who is the younger, lately married q
Winchester lady, and he Of Winches
ter, who is widower, got most of the
congratulations, his fellow members
thinking it must be he that was the
bridegroom, the bride being from his
town. There is no end Of bother iu
sorting out their Jurisprudence. It
is the first time in the history OF
Massachusetts, that two members OF
the same branch Of the legislature
have borne the same name.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
An Indian Stoic.

The boy who whimpers and makes
loud complaint on tie slightest feeling
of pain, should read the following in-
eident, told by Egerton Young, mis-
sionary among the American Indians.
While stoicism is not, of course, the
highest and noblest of human virtues,
yet self-control under physical discom-
fort is we'll worth trying fer.
A lad wss busiiy engaged with an
Ind;sn crooked knife endeavoring to
make en- arrow. He let his knife slip
and cut himself very badly. AT the
sight of the blood-which flowed free
ly, for tho wound vas an ugly enc
the lad set up howl Of pain aud
alarm which greatly startled his stoi-
cal relatives.
Relief was quickly afforded, the out
covered with balsam and tied up in q
piece of deerkkin. But not one word
of sympathy did the boy receive; On
the contrary, from nearly ali in the
wigwam arose chorus of indignation
and disgust. To them it was great
disgrace that one of their family, and
he boy Of so many winters, should
howl aud cry like that for such tri-
fling injury.
The old grandfather especially was
deeply stirred and indignant at con-
duct SO unworthy Of his grandson,
The lad must be taught lesson he
would never forget. The old man,
thoroughly reused out of his usual
ca lmness, renewed the fire, which had
partly burned down. When, by the
addition Of some very dry wood, it wat
burning vigorously, he agsin turned
quickly to his grandson, and, speaking
out sharply and exoitedly, said:' "See
here! Look at me! This is the way
q brave warrior should stand pain!'
Then he suddenly reached out his
hand, and, holding one finger in the
flame, kept it there until it was fear
fully burned. During this sickening
ordeal not q muscle Of the old man {
face quivered, not groan escaped
from his firmly set lips. To judge
from his appearance, it might have
been a stick that he was burning.
When at length he drew back the
crisp, burnt finger of his own blister
ed hand, he held it toward his grand
son and gave him another lecture
telling him, among other things, the,
if he ever expected to be great or hon
ored among his people, he must bear
! pain without ainchins or u!.e-:aS CRY,
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
a suaaestive Silence.

Perhaps the greatest practical
drawback Of much swearing is that
oaths, however good and round they
be, lose their effectiveness through
frequent use. On the famous occa-
sion when Washington swore he was
terrifying to hear. The Boston
Transcript thinks an honest curse
better than ssingrowing profanity %
In this connection it tells of noted
prelate who was once playing golf
with Mr. Choate and after foozling a
tee shot egregiously stood looking
at the ball for several moments.
After waiting for the bishop to say
something Mr.. Choate remarked,
Bishop, that was the profanest si-
lence ever heard"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
LINCOLN'S ADVICE.
4 Prescription That Might Be Used
With Advantage Today.

= prescription That Might Be Used
With Advantage Today.
There is story still current in
Illinois wnich says that an old farm
er friend of President Lincoln, who
used to correspond with him, COM
plai1ed on one occasion Of his poor
health. He received the following
reply, which is quoted in Illinois as
"Lincoln's prescription" "Do not
worry. Eat three square meals g
day. Say your prayers. Think of
your wife. Be courteous to your
creditors. Keep your digestion good.
Steer clear Of biliousness. Exer-
else. Go slow and go easy. Maybe
there are other things that your es-
pecial case requires to make you
happy; but, my dear friend, these, I
reckon, will give you a good lift"
This advice is doubtless applica-
BILE in its entirety to many An eri-
cans in every state in the Union to-
day. There are parts Of it which
apply to us generally-as a nation.
"Do not worry. Keep your diges-
tion good. Go slow and easy" 1t
would be difficult to find an Amer
lean who has not something to
amend on these points. Worry and
dyspepsia have assumed the proper
tions of national evils, and they are
both more or less the result of un-
due haste. There is no surer way to
promote dyspepsia than to be in q
constant state of hurry, and nothing
will SO surely give one the "blues"
or incline one to worrying and fret
ting as dyspepsia. Our native in
stitution-the "quick lunch" res
taurant-is responsible for large
proportion of the physical ills Of
business people in large cities. Eat
ing hastily-"bolting" ones food,
as it is popularity expressed-is
enough to ruin the digestive organs
of an ostrich. A man would better
eat half as much as usual at the
midday meal, which is usually the
most hurried, and take time to mas
ticate properly what he does put
into his stomach. Better still would
= be if he would give himself ample
tlme to relax and eat a light lunch
without allowing any thought of
business to intrude on this necessary
period of relaxation.-Success.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
CHINESE NEW YEARS.
in San francisco 1t Is Rather an Inn
portant Event.

in San francisco 1t Is Rather an Inn
portant Event.
Chinese New Years in San Fran
cisco is almost as important an
event as the regular Christian New
Years. The Chinese in San Fran
cisco form the largest colony of
their people in any Christian city.
Their New Years comes on variable
dates between the middle Ct January
and February.
On that date tho citizens of Chi
natown in San Francisco celebrate
.joyo-sly and have regular white
mems parades. The narrow streets
are thronged with whites and Mon
golians, the latter dressed in their
best silks.
1t is part OF the Chinaman's reli-
gion to pay up all debts on New
Years day and square his accounts.
Not only chat, but it is incumbent
upon him to be as generous as his
means will allow. We're he to pass
"a beggar without giving something
he would find no peace for his con-
science until the following New
Years day gave him the opportuni-
ty to atone.
The white beggars, organ grind
.ers and loafers of San Francisco
have learned this, and they observe
the day more religiously than they
observe the Christian holidays. On
the morniig Of the great Chinese
festival they go down to Chinatown
and invade the narrow streets in
battalions, wearing their most dole
full expressions.
The Chinese, passing up and down
the sidewalks, throw them coins,
sometimes by handfuls. In Califor-
mia, it must be remembered, there
are no pennies.
Sometimes a big merchant, a
"'irst chop" man, comes along and
gives to each mendicant he meets
nc less than half dollar. Then
there is a scramble Of the lame and
the blind, some of them collecting
half dozen times.-Exchaage.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
A Pleasant. Hour With Carlyle.

Thomas Carlyle was a tshoarder
of the gold of silence" and would
sit for hours, putting away at his
pipe, without uttering more than a
grunt or gruff monosyllable.
Leigh Hunt, his neighbor and init
mate, once wrote to a friend: ssHave
just spent pleasant hour with Car
lyle: When I went in he growled:
'Hellol Here again?' and at parting
he snapped out, Good day' and that
is the cum of the conversation he
honored me with. But how eloquent
his silence is just sat and looked
at him and came away strengthened
for a fresh struggle"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
The Worm's Punishment.

A father had been lecturing his
son upon the evils of staying out
late at night and Of getting up late
in the morning. ssYou never will
amount to anything" he continued,
"unless you turn over new leaf.
Remember that the early bird catch
es the worm . 5,s
eHow about the worm, father?"
inquired the young man, borrowing
the old sarcasm. "Wasn't he rather
foolish to get,up SO early?"
My son. replied the old man
solemnly, sfhat worm hadn't been
to bed at all. He was on his way
home" n SIS. @
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
A Dollar and q Sovereign.

When Lord Coleridge visited Amer
ica among other places he visited
Georgetown. AS he and his guide
were walking on the banks Of the Po.
tomac, Lord Coleridge said to his
guide:
'Mr. Secretary, do you believe that
Washington chucked dollar across
the Potomac2"
"Yes, sir, I do"
"Why do you believe it2" said the
judge.
"Well. sir, dollar went much fur
ther in those days than it does now. :"
AS they we're parting, Lord Cole.
ridge said: "To revert to tho ques-
tion of Washington, you put me off
last time. Do you really believe that
he chucked a dollar across the Poto-
mac?"
swell, can't say, sir. All know
is that he chucked a sovereign across
the Atlantic. London Onlooker.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
Anxious For Questions.

Little johnny, having been invit-
! ed out to dinner with his mother,
was commanded not to speak at the
table except he was asked a ques-
ton and promised to obey the COM
mand. At the table NO attention
was paid to Johnny for long time.
He grew very restless, and his moth
er could see that he was having a
hard time to 'fhold in" BY and by
he could stand it no longer. '.Mam-
MAJ" he called out, swhen are they
going to begin asking me ques-
tions ?"-Puck.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
His Bio Bumps.

a gentleman entered phrenolo.
gists office and asked to have his
head examined. After moments
inspection the professor started
back, exclaiming: 6
Good gracious! You have the
most unaccountable combination OF
attributes I ever discovered in a hn-
man being. Were your parents &C.
centric p &,
! No, sir" replied the all round
character, "bnt my wife is. You
needn't pay any attention to the lar
ger bumps, sir. 2 s5a 81 "a
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
lreland,a salt Min.s. !.

Within a re5ius Of less than three
miles from Carrick fergus, ireland,
there are no fewer than twelve salt
mines, although only about half Of
these are in operation at the pres
ent time. The rock which started
tsat this point has been traced under
Ehes bed of the sea across the Eng
Elishs channel, past the Isle Of Man,
until it ended in the suit cliffs Of
north Wales.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
, Rre akina II Gently.

Father Eleanor, now that you
have given up young Hopkins, I
wish he would stop coming to the
house. i5$gt q 35 s1.sa
s5s Daughter He's been here only
seven times this week, pa.
Only seven timesl How many
do yon want him to come ~ s
tDon't he harsh, father. George
is trying to break i off gradually
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
Paid After Many Years.

Washington, February 6.-In an
swer to personal inquiry to-day from
Senator Bate, of Tennessee, respect
ing the disbursements he has made so
far to Confederate Veterans, or in
case of their death to the surviving
members of their families, on account
Of horses, side arms and personal
property taken from them by Union
troops after the surrender at Apo
matox. Quartsrmaster Gen. Humphrey
has replied that out of 661 cases pre-
sented he has settled all but 81 claims.
The result has been to almost exhaust
the appropriation by Congress for this
purpose, and upon Gen. Humphrey 8
recommendation an additional sum of
money will be asked for. Most of
these. personal property losses were
sustained in Tennessee, North Geor-
gia and Southern Kentucky.
Apparently Gen. Grants promise,
made at Appomattox, that the eur
rendered Confederate Veterans should
retain their horses, eide arms and
personal property did not become
known in season in the section of the
country above mentioned, for at Cold
Springs there was general seizure Of
such property by the Union troops.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
MONEY TO LOAN,

WE can negotiate Loans on improved
Farm Lsnds for sums excseding 50 .O9
on reasonable terms, on the installment
plan. 1t is worth the while of persons
contemplating borrowing money to see
us. Bring your land papers with you.
BONHAM & WATKINS,
Office in Peoples Bank.
Sept 80, 1903 l6
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17
TWICE. Not Two.

A young lady was sitting with q
gallant captain in charmingly dec
Grated recess. On her knee was a
,diminutiye niece for appearances
sake. In the adjoining room, with
the door open, were the rest of the
company.
HI, Says the little niece in a jealous
and very audible voice:
"Anntie, Kiss me too"
ION should cay twice, Ethel,
dear. Two IS not grammar" was
the immediate rejoinder. y
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17

Amy Gis,rap. who lives 10 NJ ason
counsy 81 100 ssass 8old, and
says che Was never angry ID her life;
} 81 The Chiffon, u sort cf hsll6sh,
holds n 40 record 81 h pos sssssipg 4 q, 900
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-02-17

When Joa have killed your en-
emy with kindness you have created o
friend.
- The modern prophet needs to be
sure of his wires before he speaks his
words.