The Van Buren press., 1904-01-30
FIVE ACCIDENTS IN ONE.
So the Victim Figured II Cut. But
the Insurance Company Thought
Differently.

The soullessness of corporations Is
something to stun you, said the man
with the heavy mustache and the band
age about his head writes W. Bob Hol-
land in the Philadelphia Press Sunday
Magazine. Il am myself victim; and
instead OF being a man of wealth and an
honor to the community, am now rel
ic Of humanity just from the hands Of a
surgeon who made an earnest effort TO
restore me to the form in which grew
while reaching manhOod's estate.
Let me tell you about it, | carry an
accident insurance policy, by the terms
of which the company that insured me
agreed to pay me s25 week during such
time as | was prevented from working
because of an accident
"A week ago | went around on
Sunday morning to a new house that is
being built for me. climbed the stairs,
or rather the ladder that is where the
stairs will be when the house is finished,
bricks which were not needed there.
Feeling industrious, decided to re-
move the bricks. In the elevator shaft
was a rope and a pulley, and on one end
of the rope was a barrel pulled the
barrel up to the top, after walking down
the ladder, and then fastened the rope
firmly at the bottom. Then | climbed
the ladder again and filled the barrel
with brick Down the ladder | climbed
again, five stories, mind you, and united
the rope to let the barrel down The
barrel was heavier than | was, and be-
fore | had time to study over the prop
osition, | was going up the elevator
shaft with my speed increasing every
minute. | thought about letting go of
the rope, but before had decided to Go
so, | was so high that it seemed more
dangerous to let go than to hold on; so
| held on. Half way up the elevator shaft
| met the barrel of bricks coming down.
The encounter was brief, but spirited.
| got the worst of II, and continued on
my way toward the roof That is, most
Of me went on but much Of my epider-
mis- chung to the barrel and returned to
earth. Then struck the roof at the
same time that the barrel struck the
cellar. The shock knocked the breath
out Of me and the bottom out Of the bar
rel. Then | was heavier than the empty
barrel, and started down, while the
barrel started up We met in the middle
Of our journeys, and again the barrel
uppercut me, pounded my solar pleXus,
barked my shins, bruised my body and
skinned my face, When we became un-
tangled, | resumed my downward Jour
ney, and the barrel went higher. was
soon at the bottom. ! stopped so sud
denly that | lost my presence of mind
and let GO the rope. This released the
barrel, which was at the top Of the ele-
yator shaft, and It fell five stories and
landed squarely on top of me. And It
landed hard, too, Now here is where
the heartlessness Of the insurance COM
pany comes in. | sustained five acct
dents within two minutes. Once on my
journey up the shaft when met the bar
Iel VI DllCNs, Tue StNOHu "HtH sllhNh
the roof the third when | was descend
ing and met the empty barrel, the fourth
when ! struck the bottom and the fifth
when the barrel struck me One ac-
cdent would entiIe me to S25 a week.
Five accidents should entitle me to
1925 a week, and figured that by stay
ing in bed ten weeks could clean up
comfortable sum But the insurance
man said II was but one accident, and he
would pay but s25 a week.
Argument was Of no avail and so
remained in bed four days and am now
expecting CHECK for SLABS, Now, isn't
that shame?
bNnO