, 1904-03-08
HOW A cHINAMAN
RIDES A BRONCO,

HOW A cHINAMAN
RIDES A BRONCO.
When a Chinaman does anything in
his own peculiar Oriental style. it is
pretty apt to attract attention; but
when he gets on a bucking bronco with
the cheerful assurance of q mar who
understands his business. and has
been conversant with the ways of the
bronco for over 1000 years, the great
surge, and stands with bated breath
and watches the exhibition with un-
tagging interest.
A ChinamaH does not grab the bit of
the bronco and yank it around till the
noble steed can see thirteen lev and
peculiar kinds of fireworks. or kick
him in the stomach and knock his ribs
loose. Or swear at him till the firma-
ment gets loose and begins to roll to-
gether like a scroll. but he does his
hair up in an oriental wad behind and
jabs a big hairpin into it, and smiles
and says something like what a
Guinea hen would say If she got ex-
cited and tired to report one of Bjoer-
nstjerne Bjoernson's poems backwards
in his native tongue.
Then he gets on the wrong side and
slides into the saddle, making a re-
mark as though something inside of
him had broken loose, and the grand
difficulty begins.
At first the bronco seems surprised
and temporarily ratified intellectually,
and he stands idly in the glad sun
light and allows his mental equilib-
rum to wobble back into place. while
the Chinaman makes some observa-
tons that sound like the distant mel
ody of a Hancock club going home at
2 O'Clock a. m, and all talking at one
and the same time.
By-and-by the bronco shoots athwart
the sunny sky like a thing of life. and
comes down with all his legs in a clus-
ter like a bunch of asparagus, and
with a great deal of force and express
sion.
This movement throws the China
mans liver into the northwest corne-
of the thorax. and his upper left-hand
deuodessimo into the middle of the
subsequent week. but he does not COM
plain. He opens his mouth and
breathes in all the atmosphere that
r%eadjusting his shirt tail SO that it
will have the correct inclination to-
ward the horizon, he gently tickles the
bronco on the starboard quarter with
the cork sole of his corpulent shoe.
This mirth-provoking movement throws
the bronco into the widest Mysteries.
and for twenty minutes the spectators
don't see anything very distinctly. The
autumn sunlight seems to be mixed up
with blonde bronco, and he softened
haze of October seems fraught with
pale blue shirt tail and disturbed
Chinaman, moving in an irregular Or
bit, and occasionally throwing off me-
teoric articles Of apparel and prehis-
toric chunks of igneous profanity Of
the vintage of Confucius marked'B. c.
1860.
When the sky clears up a little the
Chinaman's hair has come down and
hangs in wild confusion about his OIL
i've features. The hem Of lis shirt flap
is seen to be very much frayed, like
an American flag that has snapped in
the breeze for thirteen weeks. He
finds also that he has ~telescopcd his
spinal column and damned two extra
ribs through the right superior du-
pick, and he has two or three verte-
brae floating about through his system
that he don't know what to do with.
The casual observer can see that the
Chinaman is a robust ruin. while the
bronco is still in a good state of pre-
servation.
But the closing Ger Is still to
come. The bronco summons all his
latent energy, and humping his back
up into the ex%hilarating atmosphere,
he shoots forward and upward with
great earnestness and the most reck-
less abandon, and when he once more
bisects the earth's orbit and jabs his
feet into the trembling earth, a shape
less mass of brocaded silk and coarse
black hair, and taper nails. and Celes-
tial shirt tail, and Oolong profanity,
and disorganized Chinese remains, and
shattered Oriental shirt destroyer.
come down apparently from the ninth
story window of the New Jerusalem,
and the coroner goes out on the street
to get six good men and a chemist.
and they analyze the collection.
They report that deceased came to
his death by reason Of conclusion, up
posed to have been induced by his fall
from the outer battlements Of the
Sweet Bye and Bye.
Working Overtime.
Eight-hour laws are ignored by those