New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-01-21
IISGr-TsT1r I.AByPrNTHs

Our grapdmamHas received great praise
But II they lived IN modern days.
oh. how their pride would fall!
For foreign telegraph and cable
Have made our land second Babel
We have to De on speaking terms
With languages galore;
For Russian rUses German germs.
Each calls for some pronunciation
That strikes us dumb with CONSERVATION
And since new intercourse we seek
With nations near and far.
OF Pa1 mama. we must speak.
AS Philippine meees don't vanish,
We need Malay as well as Spanish
When Nine. Charlotte wiehe cams.
Her Taaco-scandinavian name.
But Conried brought horde gigantic
From every country transatlantic.
And when we learned the opera list
We had to face play
ard - ere that question we were right on;
life.
England is always glad 10 get another citizen
but sometimes she goes about Il in a strange man.
ner. according to THE Springfield Republican"
sailor recently deserted from Russian battIeshp
and joined English a faraway island.
He told them that he tired the rule of the
Car and wanted TO become English citizen.
They at a loss how to naturalize him. but
finally each threw bucket OF water on him
and so washed of the Russian.
Gave Case Dead Away."-one OF the most popu-
lar young lawyers practising at the local bar IL
James ,,. SS,hea Georgetown gr9duate. who has
court with the larceny of several chickens fair
for the accused until the lawyer placed him on the
stand Are you the defendant in this case?" said
Judge Scott as the negro mounted the steps Of
the witness stand No. SIR. replied the negro.
his h counsel o the on one ' that s anS he 10
ens there's the defendant. Washington Times.
One of the things which is worrying the protec-
honists in England is the habit OF foreign manu-
facturers selling articles cheaper in Great Britain
than in their own countries. the American steel
rail makers. for example. This is called dump
ing" Sir Robert Ball made OF the current In
terest in fiscal subjects In lecture on vol
canoes. He said he had been warned before coming
the platform on account to mention the
fiscal question. but. he added. II cannot help
characterizing this "a fragment OF meteoriteL as
fragrant case OF dumping"
SCIENTIFIC RELIEF.
The famous old woman who lived in a shoe
And had so many children she didn't know what
Attended along with quite few. others
similarly SIM airy. troubled Songress OF Mothers,
That when she got home her children were dead.
-(I.ife.
A remarkable tale comes from Oklahoma about
village rivalry with tragic results. Snyder and
Mountain Park rival towns three miles apart
been Turing people away from Mountain Park the
inducements offered being free lots In the former
town and the removal OF their Mountain Park
houses to the sites free or charge To facilitate
the moving OF the houses bridge was built across
the creek. Naturally the relations between the two
became intense Thursday afternoon citizensor
Mountain Park succeeded in buying the bridge and
getting bin Of sale. Then, after dusk they v,ap
down TO the creek with their workmen 10 DESTROY
the bridge. Citizens OF Snyder had learned of the
sale and were in ambush on the creeks bank wait
ing for them. The first volley dropped half dozen
of the Mountain Park men. The Snyder men ner
haps frightened at what they had done retreated
to their village, pursued by the other crowd with
excavations and rifle Shots At latest adyIces all
the able bodied either side of the creek were
armed to the teeth. and federal deputy marshals
were busting TO the assistance OF the Sheriff or
Kiowa County in his efforts to command and en-
force the peace.
A Wrong Diagnoss.-The Onicious Passenrer-
Excuse me, sir but we have little bet up which
you may be able 10 settle for us. Now. / appeal
to you. as a married man
The Party Addressed-But 1 am not married T
darned TOOL or an auJomobilist who tried TO
over an OK cart loaded with jagged rocks and
an honest and long suffering agricuturist for the
express purpose OF fooling Just such fools as am
that's what makes me look so bad.-Oite
versity of Missouri. The curators have decided TO
offer full course in poultry raising The poultry
business has become OF the leading industries
in Missouri. the annual income being estimated at
slo-Oonooa