davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1904-12-16
In a Condensed Form for Our
Busy Readers.
HAPPENINGS OF Two Continents
A Resume Of the Less Important but
Not Less Interesting Events
Of the Past Week.

In Yungching bay.
The Oregon land fraud case has been
postponed until April.
A Japanese wing Of Oyama's army
driven back recently is again advancing
The japanese are fearful lest .ar
Russian government buys a number Of
wafships from Chile
The suspension bridge at Charleston,
". Va, collapsed, drowning three
school girls and iniuring five people.
Brgadicr General s. VI. Whitcsidc
Ia dead. He had command of the de-
partmrnt Of Santiago during the Span.
ish war.
Four men were scaldcdd a. death
and four others badly injured by an
explosion on the battlcship Massa-
chusetts.
The new Portland postoilicc will not
b. large enough and the architect has
been asked to provide for the construc.
tion of another wing.
\ number NJ prominent rural mail
carriers who were too active politically
during the recent campaign, have
y'., ','i",ou' , WI 'ney Wc'' "'' W We"
'''N ""' ''" '''"'p'"''o'
Wireless telegraph messages have
"'n n,' s.n' 'Io.' I.. Kansas NY 70 ,l.Vr'
Tnr.' ' on'p, - Nus Nl'n.u' ro'ay'
',.., ,"'s - 1"nu W W. ',c 'onscH, Instance
wv '""' "'''7"s'' '''' '"''''"'
Fire destroyed an immense coal bun.
A'' w o"""'o'
Tho real work will not begin until
cary In January.
Lab, n po.l.,,,,.. la .t c,I
c.so ii,i..,.l,. .,no nn" s''" '"'
IT,. r,.,,,,,t.t.,u..o. a.. -,
,,.nJ 60 H. n, ',a, ~" ~. ps,' ANU
H.. ..,.,,. O.. n,
n, II.sIa ~. - ~ 'psy"o, ~, ~. p,A.v,
""' wv" "''" "P py 'he
n. .,,...t .,,.,r,
p....n.., $50. IN 49,, =, ,,'',, I
A., ,a.s 's'"' WIZ "''' y" 'o'''""" !
H.. ,,,.,..,,.., ..t..,
oui,c in,o an. No,,h ..a ,na,,,..,
s,n..,.,I ~ ~, @ a.. ID. b., ~ ,ns'ue". ' n.
HAIL, ala, .,.,.,., l.. 4
J.n.n... ,,.n.hs. \. 1910, ~ III, 49,. y. w.
a., ~ an. pa..,.a -, ry'x Wv W."
o,,,,. -, po
,,n China hays h.., aIss.J m a. III ,.,'
aud I, IL though, probable that III. In. g
tended uprising has been nipp.d In ,h, n
bud. Il
y
Hitchcock spoke briefly of the land
fraud cares, indicating that some start.
ling Developments In them nigh, he
expected In tho near future. "
The Rough Rider. will bav. . ,la..
OF honor Ia the inaugural pa,ad.
c ,u
80 ,",n's' n 'sp,,ahS, declare" 'hat lac !,
SHOWS f"fi Arthur has prov isions Tor ~
-. - a,
'" w" ioo locomotives ordered Tor !"
'ne ''a'',,nan nnrr' oO are lo' the I'D
- -, Z"
~, Nv" na' ps,u Va. last inr'allmen' ~
sound financial basis ' '' h'
~, ,p,.,., ~
IN. Russian hattleship sevastopol at Ia
defensive measures
- sh
hnS.lsn captain has been arrested / D.,
or ciitieising the admiralty. !"
-, up
u'sPs''h from Makden says the an
'apahss' have driven the Russians on ~ a.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14

''Well, old man." said the Poet as
the Idiot entered the breakfast room
on the morning of Valentines day,
chow did old st. Valentine treat you !?
Any results worth speaking OFF,
"Oh. the usual lay out" returned the
Idiot, languidly. Mine hundred and
forty-two passionate declarations OF
undying affection from unknown lady
friends in all parts of the civilized
world; one thousand three hundred
and twenty-four highly colored but
somewhat insulting intimations that
had better go way back and sit down
from hitherto unsupported gentlemen
friends scattered from Maine to Cal
ifornia one small can of salt marked
st. Valentine to the Idiot with sun
dry illusions to the proper medical
treatment of the latter's freshness,
and a small box containing rubber
bottle stopper labeled Cork up and
bust 1 can't complain"
well, you did come in for your
share Of it, didn't your" said Mr..
Brief.
Eyes" said the idiot, IT think got
all that was coming to me, and !
wouldn't have minded it IL 1 hadn't
had to pay three dollars overdue post
age on 'em. / don't bother much IL
some anonymous chap off in the wilds
of Kalikajoo takes the trouble to send
me a funny picture OF a monkey grind
ing a hand organ with the loving re-
CARDS of your brother or II somebody
else who is afraid of becoming too
fond Of me sends me a horse chest
nut with a line to the effect that here
is one / haven't printed, l don't feel
like getting mad; but when l have
to pay the postage on the plaguey
things 1t strikes me it Is rubbing it
in a little too hard, and If I could find
two or three of the senders I'd spend
an hour or two of my time banging
their heads together
'I got off pretty WELL" said the Bib
liomaniac. 81 only got one valentine,
ana though it cast some doubt upon
the quality of my love for books 1
found it quite amusing. I'll read 1t to
you"
Here the Bibliomanic took small
paper from his pocket and read the
following lines:
THE HUNGRY BIBLIOMANIAc.
If only you would cut your books
AS often as your butter.
When people ask you what's inside
You wouldn't sit and sputter.
The reading that hath made you full,
The reading that doth chain you
Is not from books, or wonnan's looks
But fresh from off the menu.
what do you think of that?" asked
the Bibliomanic with a chuckle, as he
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
p. P. P. Saves Life.
SAYS Will Live Forever,

A prominent Savannahian, formerly
superintendent of a railroad, says: Il
was crippled in my feet and arms so
that l could not walk without crutch-
es nor eat without having a servant
to feed me. tried physicians every
where, but to no purpose, and finally
went to New York, where my doctors
decided at one time to amputate my
arm, but found that course imprac-
ticable on account of wound I had
received during the war. / returned to
Savannah n complete wreck, and my
case seemingly hopeless. AS a forlorn
hope began to take p. p. p, and am
rejoiced to say that after using three
bottles my limbs began to straighten
out, my appetite and health soon re-
turned. and / now feel like new
man; really as If I had been made
over again, and as If I could live for
ever, so long as 1 can get p. p. P"
This gentleman will not give his
name for publication, but authorizes
us to refer anybody to him for veri-
fication of these facts who will apply
to us. Yours truly,
LIPPMAN DRUG CO,
Savannah Ga.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14

Nov dat dey done SEN out invita-
tons to de two conventions" remark
ed the waiter, II lows de pot will
soon commence to bile"
LAS 1 done say all along" said I'm
Gle Mingo, "de Republicans is goin'
to come out for Teddy an Booker;
but / dunno bout de Democrats"
81 see." said the waiter, "dere is
some little talk bout Billy Hears"
YES" said Uncle Mingo, but mos
ly by Billy himself. Anyhow, him an
his papers thinks VERY confident dat
Hears is de proper man for de nomi-
nation"
"Wot relation" asked the waiter. els
dis Billy Hears to Park Hurs'?"
II tink de relation is VERY remote -
said Uncle Mingo; "een fac, l amt
so sho but wot it don't go no furder
dan dat dey jis' happens to hab de
same name.
At see de two Billies-Billy Hears
an Billy Bryan--is gittin' to be sorter
newnanimous. Looks like dey might
be workin' to fix up a neat little
scheme togedder
BILLY Bryan he say he amt goin'
to run no mo- cause chen a blin' man
kin see dey amt got no idee OBJ tryin'
him again. All wants now he say,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
UNCLE MINGO ON THE
misunderstood INVITATION
By w. T. WILLIAMS.

is for you-all to pint me dictator to
de party. Use willin',' he say, to go
way to a back seat an set down If
you'll jis let me run de convention, fur
nish lumber for de platform an name
de candidate. Furder dan dis he say,
1 amt akin nothin', 'cep' dat I shill
be de one to say who do an who
don't b'long to de party. Cose,' he
say, I is aware dat dere is some
blokes, renegades, mugwumps, polly
wogs an traitors who kin lay claim
to bein' Democrat mo- longer dan
wot I kin; but all de same, cen
matter of dis great Importance he
say, 'nobody's say goes but mine
"'Well, Billy say Billy Hears, I'll
boom you for dictator de bes' 1 kin;
kind O. roun'- bout, you know, cause
it won't nebber do to come out too
plain. For dis serbice, he say, all
ak is de trifiin' recompense OBJ bein'
selec' as de candidate. Den wild eb-
bleting all fix he say, we kin go to
st. Louis, hab a regular lub-feas' at de
convention, an also see de fair an
hab a good ole~summer time
"'All right, Billy say Billy Bryan;
de invitations is out; We'll sho be on
han, an between we two he say. well
jis run de show, by wich,' he say, L
means de convention, an hab de time
of our life"
But kin dey do dat?" inquired the
waiter.
81 has my serious doubts" said
Uncle Mingo. II lows dere will be a
disappointment enn dis case lis bout
as big as dere will cen anudder case
hears OBJ"
''Wot's dat?" asked the waiter.
II see an 'nouncment dat de Reborn
Mr.. Sn-an'-So is comm here, an dat
he stems a pressin' invitation to all
drinkin men. an special dem wot's
done loss all hope.
ION de 'pinted day a tremendous
crowd consistin' OBJ Dusty Roads,
Weary Walker, Tom Ottercan, Ole
Soke, an all dem fellers will he con-
wergin' to de place enn queshtion.
Policeman vii! ak dem wot dey is
dom.
Oats all right, my frien.' dey say;
ives 'ceptin' a invitation, we is all
drinkin' men, dey say, AN after
waitin' two days for a invite, we had
done loss hope wen we hear bout dis
kin gentleman an his very polite in
witation. Say. does you tink it will be
call for wot you want, or jis only
beer?'"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
ONE OF NEW Y0RK'S
QUEER OCCUPATIONS.
Catching Salt Water MinnOws for
the Aquarium.

Catching Salt Water MinnOws for
the Aquarium.
New York, Feb. 13.-One of the queer
occupations of this city is that of gath
ering live salt water minnows for feed
ing the fish in the New York Aquar-
ium. This work is attended to by the
Denyses of Gravesend, members of one
of the Oldest families in America. The
Denyses still live in the old home
stead on Gravesend Bay, and beside
gathering great milk cans full of min
nows daily and shipping them to the
aquarium, they catch fish for exhibit
ton in the tanks.
BY a peculiar freak of ocean cur
rents, GraVesend bay becomes ref
uge throughout the year for waits and
strays from the tropical seas. Mag
nificent fish from the Bermudas and
Florida, and even farther south, find
their way along the Gulf Stream, and
after travelling more than thousand
miles, make the acquaintance of Capt.
Denyse by laundering into his nets.
Even tarpon enter this bay, which
lies inside of the west point OF Coney
Island. l have seen barracuda of the
Jamaican variety, red snappers such
as live on the Florida keys, trunk fish
from Bermuda and the wonderful but
terfly fish, tinted like humming birds,
that are found on the Cuban coast
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
Diminutive james Din.

James B. Dill, often called the father
of the trusts, is another whose name
came to the front a few days ago,
after a considerable lapse, though he is
not often long ''out Of print" You may
have read about the Dill incident; how
a burglar climbed to the second Story
of his East Orange residence and
''burgled' long enough to get several
thousand dollars worth of jewelry in
his possession when he was discov-
cred by the trust lawyer and chased
off the grounds at the revolver's point.
You may also have seen that Dill is
not Worrying about the matter, be-
cause he carried a large line of bur-
glar insurance.
Mr.. Dill is little in body, but big in
brain. He is quite as humorous in
his conversation as any of the profess
sionaI humorsts are in their writings.
He is ambitious in many other ways
besides the law and the organization
of great syndicates. He is an enthusi-
astic horseback rider-though his
equestrian bent has been somewhat
eclipsed since he got the automobile
craze-and when he does ride horse,
he likes to bestride an animal that
is big enough to accentuate his own
personal physical littleness. He likes
to be interviewed, and on several oc-
casions when this liking has been graft
fed he has shown no hesitation in
pointing out the weak spots in the
various sort of combinations, which
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
NO MAN OR WOMAN
CAN HAVE DYSPEPSIA
And Still Be Agreeable, Attractive and
POpular-A Certain Cure in
Reach of All.

There is nothing that will put YOU
to the front so rapidly in the business
or social world as cheerful dispose
ton and a pleasant appearance. other
things being equal people will go out
of their way to give the fellow a lift
who always wears cheerful counte-
nance. The man or woman with a
cranky disposition and a sour face
will always meet with an indifferent
If not a chilly reception. The COM
mercial traveller who is the recognized
business barometer, appreciates bet
ter than any one the value of this
rule and governs his actions accord
ingly.
Dyspepsia destroys all the agreeable
qualities that enter into a man or
woman's makeup. 1t is almost a
human impossibility for anyone with
a severe case of dyspepsia to look
pleasant. The continuous, miserable.
cast-down feeling is bound to make
itself shown in the appearance and
conversation.
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets are the
sufferers certain cure. They are so
recognized all over the world. The
cures they have brought about and
the happiness they have caused and
the suffering they have relieved has
made their name household word in
all the English-speaking world.
The reason that Stuart's Dyspepsia
Tablets are a certain cure is that they
are a natural cure. There is nothing
to prevent them curing. They contain
the essential ingredients of the diges-
tive fluids of the stomach and simply
do the identical work of the stomach,
relieving that weakened organ and
permitting it to rest and recuperate.
Could anything be more simple or
natural? They are bound to cure.
They cannot help themselves. 1t is
just like putting new stomach into
man-if that were possible-and
letting the old one go off on a vaca-
ton. Rest is what it needs. Nature
will do her own work of restoration,
never fear.
Stuarts Dyspepsia Tablets are for
sale by all druggists at so cts. a box.
All druggists means all druggists.
They have become so necessary to the
people that the druggist simply has
to keep them anyway. There are
other remedies that he can make
much more money on if he could sell
them, but he can't. He will not take
chances on losing his customers by
| not always having on hand a supply
of Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
Not a Humorous Reporter.

Mr.. Masson's methods are interest
ing. He doesn't make notes of the in
congruous news he hears or sees; in
TACT he is not, as WEIGH was, a repor-
ter of the humorous. When he is
ready to write jokes he sits down and
puts the machinery of his brain at
work to arrange ordinary situations
and dialogues in the reverse order, so
TO speak, producing mis- own incongru-
Gus situations in that way.
once it occurred to him that salable
humor could be made out of such ma
terial as imaginary conversations be-
tween inanimate objects like the
needle and the thread, the spool and
the thimble, the pencil and the paper,
the wheel and the axle, etc., and the
series of dialogue jokes which re-
suited lasted him for long time.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
OPERATIONS A FAD.
Public Gradually Awalsens to the Fact


The latest fad in operations has
been the appendicitis fad; before that
the fad for rectal operations lpiies,
etc.), held sway. Hundreds OF pa
tents were frightened and hurried IN
to hospitals, operated upon and rob
bed of their last dollar, when the
trouble was simple case OF hemorr-
holds or piles only, easily cured at
home with a simple remedy costing
but fifty cents a box:
II procured one fifty cent box OF
Pyramid Pile Cure OF my druggist,
with the intention Of buying larger
box later, but was happily surpriseaa
when / found that / was cured, and
still have six pyramids left out Of the
first and only box. / have not had
the least sign of piles since used this
one box. which has been about two
months; previous to using Pyramid
pile Cure had the worst kind OF
bleeding and protruding piles for
over thirty-one years, ana no one
knows. except those who have had
the piles, the pain and misery suf-
fered.
IT am a poor man. but have often
said ! would give fortune, II ! had
ii, to be cured OF the piles, and now l
have been cured for fifty cents. l
should be very ungrateful II did not
thank you and give you every priyi-
leee to use my name and this letter,
when / know there are so many who
suffer as / did" ]. A. Weismiller,
100 Biadensburg Road, Washington,
y. C..
The Pyramid Drug Co, Marshall,
Mich, publish little book on the
causes and cure OF piles. which they
Will be glad to mail free 70 any APP
pllcant. and we advise all sufferers
from this painful disease 10 write 70
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
A story of simeon Ford.

They are telling a new story of Sim
con Ford and Pat Murphy-two of the
best after-dinner speakers New York
ers have ever heard.
81 always try" said Mr.. Ford,
when 1 am asked to make a speech
after dinner. to try to have my name
placed ON the list directly after that
of some United States senator. or
some eminent statistician who has a
long speech filled with dry details. 1t
is always the time when. the audience
is in the mood to laugh at any funny
story-however old it may be. Briefly,
1 ask the committee to put me direct
ly after the greatest bore"
Ibid they ever ask you to speak twice
in succession at the same dinner?"
asked Mr.. Murphy. innocently.
DUANE
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14

Cochran began life as porter in the
A. T. Stewards dry goods store. He
spent most of his working hours
among the packing cases in the cellar.
One day Mr.. Stewart was showing a
visitor through the building; it was
dark down there and Stewart ordered
the porter to go upstairs to get some
matches with which to light the gas.
ooh, have some matches" said
Cochran, whipping a box of them out
of his pocket and proceeding to light
the gas.
You have matches, have ye?" snarl-
ed the merchant prince. what BUSH
ness have you carrying matches down
here? Don't you know it is rule of
this store that nobody is to carry
matches? You are discharged instant
ly. 1 won't have anybody around me
that will expose my establishment to
the dangers of a conf1agration!"
1t was then that Cochran decided to
make the law his vocation. How he
struggled and toiled, attending night
school with that object in view, is an
interesting story which some time
ought to be told, and told well.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
all gathered in by Denyse.
The Old Denyse Ferry,

In Revolutionary times the Denyse
ferry was the great route from old
Brooklyn (and New York. too, in bad
weather) to Staten Island: thence the
traveller passed by stage to the Camden
and Arnboy high road, and so on to
Philadelphia and the South and West
1t was over the Denyse ferry that
the British grenadiers were carried to
fall on the left wing of the American
army in the Battle of Long Island; and
from Denyse's house to what is now
Prospect Park, the fight was one of the
most bloody in the whole war, reach
ing such pitch of ferocity that at last
an old grist mill on a creek east OF
Gravesend Bay was actually stopped
because the bodies of dead Americans
damned up the water. And the old in
habitants down there will tell you that
their ancestors have passed down tC
them the story that every Americana in
that water of death fell with his face
toward the foe.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
he is charged with being so largely re-

he is charged with being so largely re-
sponsible for.
He is said to be the heaviest stock
holder in one or two of the Corpora
tion Trust Companies of New Jersey,
under whose direction business of
foreign corporations" that is, cor
pations organized in New Jersey,
but doing business elsewhere, are con-
Quoted. Dill must be getting to be a
rich man.-how rich nobody knows,
but he has money a-plenty, and there
is no man living who likes to spend it
better than he does.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14

When Claus spreckels left the
Sandwich Islands some ten years ago
he said he should not return until
Queen LiliukaIanl had won her throne
back, or, failing that, until grass
should be growing In the streets Of
Honolulu. As there Is no prospect Of
either OF these events happening, Il
Is probable that the splendid Spreckelg
mansion In Honolulu viii remain va
can't until the owner dies Half
dozen servants have been Ia charge Of
the place for ten years
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
WAR NEWS IS EXPENSIVE.
Rates and Routes of Press Dis
patches From Nagasakf or Che

patches From Nagasakt or Che
Foo.
From the Chicago Chronicle.
News from the seat OF the Russo
Japanese war is being cabled and tele-
gnaphed to Chicago at rate of from
2S1k to 5o1s cents a word. The former
rate obtains from points in China, es-
pecially Chee-Foo, where much of the
direct news originates. The higher
rate is from Japan.
Press messages from these points are
scheduled to pass over the recently con-
structed Commercial Pacific cables, via
Manila, Eewaii and San Francisco, and
must travel 12.6Os miles before they
reach their destination. A cablegram
from Japan contain 1000 words, less
than a newspaper column, costs s5O5.
The route which such a message would
take If sent west from Nagasaki or
Chee-Foo indicating the relay points,
is as follows:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14
Recnrder COT.

John w. Goff is ever before the pub
lie, always, in a way, because as CHIEF
criminal Judge of the big city his de-
cisionS are reported constantly. but he
has said and done nothing in a long
time to cause any special comment or
big head lines. But the other day when
the names of a number of prominent
men like Pierpont Morgan were signed
to a recommendation for mercy to de-
linquent before the court, the Recorder
said that he would like to have such
names appear in his court often. This
seemed a curious thing to many law
yers, and several of the papers exalted
the account of the sentencing or
the delinquent In question to the dig
nifty OF a display head" This they
would never have done but for the Re-
corder's curious utterance. There Is
little probability that he meant any
thing special by his words, but SIM
Die as they were, they brought about
a whole lot of discussion.
There was a time when he was say
ing something every few days TO
arouse the public interest. That was
before he was Recorder, though he con-
tinued his spectacular utterances some
time after he was upon the bench.
Goh's Court Experience.
He is very jealous of the dignity or
his Court now, though when he was
lawyer he didn't think courts were
very dignified, and he often used to
say very sharp and insulting things.
Once in Court he did something so ex-
tremely unconventional that the Court
ordered him fined for contempt.
There was no particular reason why
he should not pay the fine, because he
was perfectly able to financially, ex-
cept the sense of disgrace which the
payment would impose upon him. But
he spent good deal more than the
amount of the fine in engaging Joseph
Choate, the present Ambassador to
England, to plead with the then Re
corder-the late Frederick Smythe-for
mercy
Mr.. Choate did the best he could in
open court, but it was not enough, and
the fine had to be paid.
The Recorder did the biggest thing
in his life when he acted as chief coun-
sci for the Lexow Legislative Investi-
eating Committee some years ago. The
disclosures made before that commit
tee were the chief and, perhaps, the
only thing that caused the downfall of
Tammany in municipal politics when
Col. Strong was elected Mayor. Mr..
Golf went in as Recorder on the wave
that carried Strong to the front, and
he is now the only surviving official
representative of the crowd that was
then prominent here for reform ex-
cepting William Travers Jerome, the
present district attorney.
DUANE.