Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-10
GOT THE WRONG TWIN

L
twins and CT ooks, up in Hoboken, both OF
them bearing the identical tattoo marks.
which makes it impossible fer the police to
know which of them is the right one to
hold on a charge, reminds me of the Con-
roy twins in the navy" said man who
has been in both the land and sea services
of the United States. 1.-The case of the
Conroy twins kept an American man-o'-
war in an acute state of bother during the
early part of a China station cruise, owing
to a desertion nix-up.
Zone of the Conroy twins. who had been
in the navy for eight years, reaching the
rating of gunner's mate, first ciass-for a
swell sailor man was this same Conroy-
jumped has ship at San Francisco, owing to
a crouch which he had conceived against
the service because his shore liberty had
been restricted, and hid himself away until
his ship should proceed on her cruise IN tar
eastern waters.
The cruiser was anchored in front OF
San Francisco. A group of shore-visitinS
officers from the ship came upon the twin
of the deserving Conroy on kearney street,
this twin Conroy being decent and pros
porous milk dealer in San Francisco
1.-The officers summoned a policeman, ana
the milk-dealing Conroy was sWoOped upon
from the rear. He had to be conveyed
down to the Clay street wharf in hurry
wagon, and he gave the four policemen at
tached to that vehicle all that they could
attend to before they landed him there.
THE master-at-arms from the cruiser was
signaled for. and he came off to the beach
with a couple of assistants in the steam
cutter. The angry and blasphemous Con-
roy twin was carried on board the snip OF
war They landed him in the brig in dou-
BILE irons for resisting the master-at-arms.
"Conroy the innocent needed some surgf-
cal attention when they got him into the
brig, and the surgeon was sent Tor. 10
the surgeon Conroy the milkman protested
that he wasn't Jim, but Nike. The surgeon
ridiculed that story, and told Mike that he
ought to be ashamed Of himself for rigging
up such a yarn, after his eight years de-
cent service.
Mike continuing to protest that he was
the victim of monumental mistake, the
er-at-armS-waS sent for by the
surgeon. Then the Legs with the sat
urnne skepticism of all masters-at-arms,
looked Mike over and told him to pipe
down for a soused sea lawyer or he'd get
a broken head.
Mike, irons, bruises and all, made for
the master-at-arms at that and three ma
rines on guard had to be summoned hur-
riedly to disentangle the innocent twin from
the Jimmy Legs frame.
THE executive officer of the ship who
had sailed with the Conroy twin who had
deserted at San Francisco, entered the brig
to take look at the man who protested
that he was the victim of a twin-mistake
why, look here, you ship -jumping
scoundrel,' said the executive officer, heat
eddy, to the equally heated Mike the milk
man, how do you have the impudence to
look me in the eye and claim that L don
know you, after l put in three years with.
YOU on the Mediterranean station, and a
year and a half in these waters! Pun up
YOUR sleeve YOU reprobate, and show me
that tattoed dagger on your right fore
arm.
"At these words tie master-at-arms dart
ed forward and pulled up the right sleeve
of bo inn There
GER tattoed in two colors. on the mllkmans
right forearm.
"The executive officer had no means of
knowing that Mike, In a moment or drunk
en- envy of his sailor brothers tattooing,
had had that dagger pricked on his arm ~
a Jap tattoo artist of San francisco 0niy
Il few months before But 1t settled Mike 5
hash.
ITO China he was carried on board the
man-o' war. AS there was no charge OF de-
sertion against him, on account OF his twin
brothers ship-jumping, the ship-9umper NOT
having been absent the required ten days,
Mike was merely brought before a sum-
mary court-martial for leaving the snip
without permission, and bunch or extra
duty was piled on him.
'"They might just as well nave sentenced
Mike to act as Secretary of the Navy. he
didn't know a capstan bar from tops
yard and when they put him on deck re-
stored to duty-or rather, chucked MIN INTO
duty in his sailor twin brothers place-his
situation would have been laughable II II
had not involved SO many miserable eonse-
quences for Mike.
but a month after the ships arriVa! IN
Chinese waters the other twin, who had
given himself up at Mare Island within the
required ten days. and been sent out to the
China station on another cruiser, turned up
on board the ship where his twin. Nike was
miserably trying to convince the officers OF
their error, and fixed things up. Mike was
provided with transportation to the states,
and he never showed any disposition to- sue
tho United States government for q Dillon
dollars for false imprisonment on board
man-o'-war in domestic and foreign waters.
although 1t was the opinion of some lawyers
that he had picked up mighty good case.