Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1904-09-16
STORIETTES.

Congressman Babcock to Congressman
Overstreel, that we should have Pres
4 ldential candidates hailing from places
with such queer names a. Oyster Bay
and Esopus?" ut doesn't matter 90
much where q man IL from as 1t does
where he is going" was the sage oh.
servation Of Overstreet
The stag at eve had drunk tn
ALL" some one quoted. 'Must la
been = funny crowd" blurted out the
Old Sport; "at AL stays I've ever At
tended Il took us till morning before
we'd drunk our fill. and then we often
had to leave because there wasn't
anything left. Must ha' been funny
stag must ha' been . derned funny
stag"
A popular author, who has lately
turned to play-writing. has not sue
eeeded In impressing the managers
with the availability Of his produc.
lions. Not long ago, thinking to get
some useful pointers from the current
drama, he made an observation tour
OF tAe theatres. WELL" he remarked
to friend at the end Of the evening.
Il seem to be the only man alive who
can't get q poor play put on"
When Larry Kavanagh. residence
unknown, was brought before Justice
Whitman in Essex Market court, New
York, On a charge Of intoxication, he
said: ''Your honor, was here yes
terday on the same charge, an think
It's not fair. It's the same jag" The
Judge smiled. "A man can not ba
twice placed in jeopardy for the
same offense." he said, "but don't
believe that includes hold-over jags.
Fined two dollars"
Miller Reese Hutchinson, the invent.
or, was talking one day about govt
Scout" he said, lis very painful"
us it different from rheumatism"
someone asked. ut is, indeed" What
Is the difference?" We'll" said Mr.
Hutchinson, suppose you should take
Q wise, put your finger in 1t, and turn
the screw tighter and tighter, till you
could bear the pain no longer. That
would be rheumatism. Then suppose
you should give the screw one full
turn more. That would be gout."
A London correspondent of the Ar.
gonaut writes that 1t Is related that
when Mrs. Frank Leslie was informed
by friend Of the approaching mar.
Rage Of the Marquis de Leuville to
q beautiful heiress well known in
Partisan society, she knowingly re.
marked, to the surprise Of her inform
ant, that she herself was the bride-to-
be. This having reached the ears OF
the future marquise, is said to have
caused indignation on the part Of that
Lady and little friction between the
marquis and his pretty French fiancee
During recent Baptist convention
held in Charleston, the Rev. DR.
Greene, OF Washington, stroled down
to the Lartery one morning to take
look across the harhor at Fort Sum
ter. An old negro was sitting on the
seawall fishing. DR.. Greene watched
the lone fisherman, and finally saw
him pull up an odd looking fish, a
cross between q toad and catfish.
What kird of fish is that, old MANI
inquired DR.. Greene. "Dey calls il
lie Baptist fish," replied the fisherman
rs he tossed it away IN deep disgust
why do you call it the Baptist fish,
asked the minister. Because dey
spoil so soon after dey comes outen
lie water" answered the fisherman.
G. D. Gibson, the illustrator, recent.
" received from soa- company
circular inviting him to participate in
drawing contest for s25, the draw.
ing winning the prize to be used by
the soap company as an advertise.
ment. Gibson was nettled at first,
then the humorous aspect Of the sit.
cation struck him, and he wrote the
soap manufacturer as follows: You
are heartily invited to participate in
I soap contest that I have inaugu.
sated for prize Of $3.50. Each com.
eetitor must submit 100 pounds of his
best soap, put up in ornamental one
pound boxes. and all the soap that is
aot adjudged worthy of the prize will
remain the property of the undersign.
ed. 1t is necessary that the soap De
forwarded prepaid"