Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-05-17
Evening Dress In Ones Family Life.

Evening Dress In Ones Family Lie.
How far or how much should we be-
have at home as We do In company?
Must we be just as much dressed and
Just as agreeable in family life as in
society? Must our husbands and sons
wear dress coats at dinner? asks Kate
Gannett Wells, in the Boston Cooking
School Magazine.
Whether one should or should not
wear the conventional evening dress in
daily life depends on the style and spirit
of the home. Its style-that is, its in
cOme-often fOrbids rigorous application
of such costume, though its spirit often
commands it; for the sense of welcome,
leisure and ease conveyed by evening
dress can be nourished just as much by a
fresh collar or shirtwaist as by dress
coat or low-necked gown.
The symbolism of the dress coat is the
grace before meals; the thankfulness
that one has wife, husband, child, friend,
somebody (f only ones self for whom
it is worth while to look as charming as
one can.
The dress coat is homage to women,
recognition of their fidelities and refine
ments. George Ticknor, famous court
ly Bostonian and scholar, always gave
his arm to his wife, leading her to the
dining table with as much Difference as
he ''took i'm titled ladies, when they, in
turn, were his guests. 1t was invariably
dress coat and simple evening gown with
the TicknOrs a deux, from Difference to
each other; and most beautiful was it to
see their mutual Obeisance because of its
simplicity of motive. :,
In minister's home, where paucity
of salary provides but slight extra
service, the wife always changes heI
dress, even if it be merely from ging
ham gown to a cheap serge dress. The
husband always brushes his coat; and il
perchance she has seated herself, beca use
he is belated by some inopportune caller
and the children must be punctual, nc
never fails to put his hand on hen
shoulder in lover fashion before he takes
his place at the table. That touch is his
recognition of gratitude for the home
life made by her.
And in day laborer's home, where
the man returns grimy and tired, he
washes his hands in the tin basin, takes
down the comb from the clock shelf and
runs it through his hair, while the wife
dishes the dinner, changes her apron and
losses up her falling locks into prettiel
"pompadour" before the two sit down to
the table. In this home, as in that OF
the minister, the theoretical idea OF
dress coats was carried out as fully as II
the Ticknor mansion.
81 care for my home and respect my
wife too much not to appear before hel
at dinner, with as much care OF my
dress as if l were still counting her
which, indeed, am always DOING" said
Hudson river millionaire.
That husband understood what the
dress coat means in family life. 1t ii
considering ones family just as good al
anybody else, and little better. 1t il
knightly homage to ones wife; 1t il
good manners towards ones children; il
is filial regard for ones parents; it il
being in the mood, at least once day
to render respect unto ones colaborers
even if one has neither means to buy 8
dress coat nor time to exchange the bust
ness garb for it.
If we can but realize the higher mean
/ ing of etiquette, we shall look upon the
dress coat as merely the temporary out
ward sign of permanent, inward courtesy
of thought, which in act we would al
eagerly extend to our family as to oul
guests.
Then, when we do accept society's
conventions of dress, we do so without
losing the large simplicities of our heart