The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1904-02-24
Buteo vuIgaris Baptisticus;; or
The Common Baptist Buzzard.

NC VVtiitCN D0EtsSs S@6@e~' S
Rev. G. C. Brown in Biblical Recorder.
Buteo means buzzard. Hence, L
guess, we get the expression the boys
use on the street: You are butte -
OF this am not certain, aud hence
make no positive statement. OF late,
I am becoming more carefal IL making
statements.
= Hawks, falcons and such like belong
all to the buteo family. The butec
,vulgaris Americanus is noted Tor it's
silence; the Baptisticus bird is noted
for its noise. These beasts, if they
be, as found among Baptists, are Of
three kiuds-in the form of man, in
the form of woman, and in the form
of an editor, who is supposed to be
impersonal and hidden behind his
editorial I'VE" Wherever found,
they are all in the same business, and
fill the high Office of denominational
stink-t -toters, scattering all manner
of filth and ill-smelling favors.
A buzzard on tree indicates that
something is dead or is supposed to he
dead in that neighborhood. He'll st
all day waiting to light upon carcass,
but has no delight in any living thing.
The Baptist buzzard plays similar
game and is glad to hang around
place where he. hopes to be able to
pluck up some sort Of filthy thing to
carry away. In good news he has no
pleasure: but in matters that are a
little off in tone, he rejoices. He
longs to be able to fly away and bring
c.hers of his kind to plunge with him
iAto the dirty hole he has found.
That any one is prospering or happy
brings 20 gladness to him; but If
there is cloud in the air and rumor
of hard things, then the Baptist
buzzard is in his glory. He is willing
to 90 miles away from his course to
look UPON a scene like this. The
Baptist buzzard on the editorial tripod
cuts quite a figure, and gets upa large
and loathsome odor. He delights in
spreading around pious expressions
concerning the rascality of his
brethren. He does this in mighty
holy way-for the good of the denomi-
nation, of course; but he does it, all
the same. Like genuine b. .zard,
he'll go miles out of his pathway to
satisfy his appetite, when once he gets
the bare scent Of scandal; and whe2
be gets his bloody beak into the bor-
rible filth, be rejoices to spread it
around--for the good OF the denomina-
tion. We should not havo to 60 a
thousand miles away from South Car
olina to see the bird at work some
times; but may be it Will be best for
us not to in6ividualize. We hear ru
mors of the fight of these birds in
Kentucky and Arkansas, and also in
Texas. They are not known so we'll
by their flight as by their smell.
The Baptist buzzard loves to hover
over the dead and sometimes he is al
most willing to commit murder i'll Or
der to prepare corpse for himself.
He is not in his element unless there
is something dirty somewhere in the
neighborhood. He has strong stom-
ach, and can take in anything. The
editorial buzzard offers free forum
to the filth singer. He boasts that
his colums are open to all. Let all
come in. As Whitconb Riley put it
in his ioosier dialect, "None air de-
MED at knock" /" But he prefers the
incomer to bring something with him
something that has been picked up
in Aceldama-noto on Olivet. His nav
is capacious, and no sort Of ecclesias-
tical carrion can dull the edge of his
appetite. He g]ories IL his high call
ing of stink toter. Commonplace
items of interest or of no interest are
accepted, and published, = but if the
contributor can put in q few sugges
tions of filth, some mild insinuations
against a good man, or tell of some
poor sinners unlucky fall. or prefer
charges against Que in Office, secretary
of board, or other officer, then the
editorial stink-siinger dips his quill
to the bottom of his ink-stand, squalls
to the Office devil that quiet must
reign for the space of a nalf hour,
whirls around on his oae-legged stool,
looks smilingly through the open
window, and feels assured that high
heaven approves of his editorial policy
of giving the news from the churches.
Sometimes the Buyeo Baptisticus
strikes up with piece of carcass that
is very small, but very tough. This
gives him opportunity to display his
special gifts He clutches this IN his
long, filthy beak, and goes around
with it, nor will he let it GO. He may
make the discovery that the news be
has been retailing is lie, aud his
one great boast is that ne loves the
truth but this item has been giving
him SO much satisfaction that he
cannot afford to drop it, and so he goes
on lying, even after he knows that he
is lying. This is the Distinguishing
popularity of the Baptist buzzard.
Week after week, he parades the same
choice morsel. Ii it decays in his
beak, he likes it all the better; if it
were really clean and swest, he'd
drop it. He likes things about MIN to
be rich and fragrant. This is the
Buteo Baptisticus which word should
be divided into two, and emphasized
on the last syllable violently-thus-
Baptisti-Cuss.
At Associations and Conventions,
one will be apt to find this Baptist
bird. He will pose out under the trees,
in search OF news and subscriber He
wants to make a newsy paper. He
enlarges upon the free forum idea.