Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-10-13

strong waters was as large as his
bump Of veneration was small. The
latter failing led him into speaking of
the stars as his jigsteps" and Ibis
riplets."
One morning the property man
turned up at rehearsal in a highly in
ebriated condition. Meeting Mr.. Jeffer-
son in the wings, it occurred to him
that it would be a graceful thing to
tender him an offhand apology. So,
leaning gently up against the come
dian, he remarked:
"Jeffy, old boy, when n Teller
comes to another feller'-
"Jeffy, old boy" shocked the come
dian beyond expression.
"Go, SIR" he exclaimed. go, sir, ut
once!'
The offender went. That night "Trip
Van Winkle' was the bill, and the
house was packed from pit to dome.
In a corner Of the gallery sat ~ prop
erty man, looking rather frayed around
the edges. The play progressed. Rip is
turned put into the storm and, stand
ing upon the threshold of his home, ut
tiers the most pathetic line in the piece:
"You say that / have no share in this
house?'
Then through the silence comes In
sad and asthmatic tones:
"Only so per cen of the gross, Jeffy,
old boy"
The comedian collapsed. The prop
srty man was avenged.
A good story is told of an experience
Of Joseph Jefferson, the great actor,
says Leslie's Weekly. A number Of
years ago he played a one night engage
ment in a small Indiana town, appear
ing in his favorite part Of Rip Van
Wrinkle. In the hotel at which he
stopped was an Irishman recently
landed" who acted as porter and gen
eral assistant. Judged by the deep and
serious interest which he took in the
house, he might have been clerk, lessee
and proprietor rolled into one.
At about 6 o'clock in the morning Mr..
Jefferson was startled by a violent
humping OF his door. When he strug-
gled into consciousness and realized
that he had left no "call" order at the
Office he was naturally very indignant.
But his sleep was spoiled for that
morning, so he arose and soon after
appeared before the clerk. "See here"
he demanded Of that individual, "why
was l called at this unearthly hourT"
II don't know, SIR" answered the clerk.
It'll ask Mike"
The Irishman was summoned. Said
the clerk: Mike, there was no call for
Mr.. Jefferson. why did you disturb
himT' Taking the clerk by the lapel
Of the coat the Hibernian led him to
one side and said in a mysterious
whisper, "He were SNORING loike a
horse, sor, and Ord heerd the b'ys say
as how he were onct afther shaping
for twinty years, so OF ses to mesilf,
ses OF, 'Moike, it's a cooming on to him
agin, and it's yer july to git the cray
ther out OF yer house instantly.
Jefferson once had In his employ a
plausible sort Of man, half valet. half
factotum, grossly incompetent and un-
satisfactory, whom he desired to get
rid OF, says the New York Press. 1t
was a certainty the man drank. Wine
from the cellar would disappear mys-
t~eriously, and the supply in the de-
canters would disappear gradually, but
there " was any ocular proof that
the servant was responsible.
"And," said Mr.. Jefferson, in telling
the story to a friend, there / was.
What could / do? However," he con-
tnued, lone day as / was sitting In my
library, who should / see but William
Keeling up the walk, drunk as a lord.
My opportunity had come after many
years. l waited for him. l would tell
him how drunk he was. He would de-
ny 1t of course. He would insist he
was sober. But l should have the calm
consciousness Of right on my side, and
my excuse for sending him away
would be sufficient. So when William
approached I gazed at him with all the
severity / could summon, and said:
"'William, you are drunk
"He returned my look with perfect
imperturbability. Mr.. Jefferson he
said, I am more than that. / am very
uTuuk, .Sir.
"And," continued Mr.. Jefferson, twill
you tell me what 1 could do? He took
the wind out of my sails. He proved
himself a perfectly truthful man"
"And you finally got rid of him?'
asked the man to whom the story was
told. Just then some one came in to
light the lamps, and the comedian
looked at him quizzingly. no" he an
swered, with a smile. "That was VIII
liam who just came in. l couldn't dis
charge a man for telling the truth,
could I?'
Among after dinner speakers Joseph
Jefferson ranks as one who can tell a
good story In a dry, delightful way,
says Harper's Weekly. His stories deal
principally with theatrical subjects.
Here Is n of his best:
while starring through Indiana sew
eral years ago." he said at a dinner one
night, my manager was approached