davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

TSHE immortal Shakespeare, or
some other man of the same
name, is our authority for the
statement that the quality of
mercy Is not strained. We men
ton this matter at this point merely
by way of calling attention to the fact
that the same things cannot be said
Of the quality of honesty. In
fact, some of the latter is strained so
fine that there is little left Of the
original composition. There are as
many different kinds of honesty as
there are people working at ii. Some
people are so honest that they are
afraid no one will find out about it
and therefore they are willing to go a
mile out of their way TO explain how
unnecessarily scrupulous they are.
When you meet a man like that you
had better hold your watch with one
hand and yell for a policeman with
the other. Then there is the other
kind Of honesty which makes a man
afraid that no one will discover how
big rascal he is. In such a case you
will be safe in wagering that most of
that mans wickedness consists in get
ting leave to print.
We might run on in this way in
terminably, which would be quite a
while. II 1t were not that our fell in
Wu6n we DeBdu the COlleCuOn
of these few choice thoughts was the
revealing Of the true inwardness of the
life of Diogenes j. Browne. Mr.
Browne was a Capitalist, with a large
c. II there is any one present who
objects to our devoting so much OF our
valuable time to the problems of the
vulgar rich, that person is hereby In
formed that we are fond Of speaking
of the things which we understand and
that If there is one thing we know all
about il is the woes and shortcomings
of the capitalist. Haven't we walked
down Wall street many a time and
oft? Well thenl
While we have been satisfying the
pertinacious individual on the back
seat Diogenes J. Browne has been
waiting patiently in the wings. We
shall now continue our lecture. Dio-
genes took the position that the only
thing this country needed was more
and better honesty. If this country
were suddenly to receive all the only
things it needs it would be ready for
the kind Offices of the undertaken and
the sexton. Fortunately for the rest
Of us the men who know exactly how
the Government should be saved never
get a whack at it. Our purpose In pass
ing in our usual hurried but graceful
manner over the principal events in
The life Of Diogenes is that we may
show in what manner the quality of
honesty may be strained.
great hobby with Diogenes was
attention 10 triles. The descent to
Ayernus is not only quite facilis, he
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

was amassed in those institutions,
scattered over an area extending from
Maine to California and from Canada
TO the Gulf. At one time all foundries
looked alike to me. and 1T was a source
Of great pleasure and some food to be
identified with one. Any old building
will GO for foundry.
Broken walls and roof and window
less windows for smoke and heat to
escape IN summer and to admit the
cold in winter. Clammy earthen floor.
piles of black sand, huge gibbet
cranes, with rasping chains and open
molds; great pots of liquid iron swing
in the air, spluttering furnaces that
shoot consultations of hot stars and
sulphur fumes into the dull atmos-
phere, heat that cracks the skin, eX-
plosions Of gas and choking vapors,
haf-naked figures cropping and steam
ing-heu with the lid on.
So fervid is the zeal of youth that
all this was but the limelight of fame
to me, and the dirtier I got the more
popular was with myself when visit
ing friends Of the owners came in to
look at the employees. Sometimes 1
wondered what those persons would
say If they knew 1 boarded with the
boss. But that was too much to hope
for so early In the game.
From candle light in the chill win
ter morning until casting time in the
evening 1 nodded the iron framework
for modern school desks. then coming
into vogue Thus did the memory of
precious hours wasted at school come
back TO me. and 1 shoveled sand with
increasing ardor TO make up that lost
time. The man next to me worked
under q crane, the gearing of which
did the heavy lifting. He made large
iron arches to support the whaleback
masonry in sewers. and l enVled the
greater quantity Of sand he handled,
with the expert aid Of polish helper.
Frequently when visitors were
around I went over and leaned on the
crane in picturesque attitudes and
pair Of overalls, Just as if the hoist
belonged TO me and was about TO
strain itself lifting the top off one Of
my dinky molds. A dopey old age
makes me long for th@ foundries of
my youth but, alas, they are gone.
once gloried in my open pores, but
now 1 beef because they boost my
laundry bills.
Not the least exciting items in my
curriculum were the home and social
sides of life in Omaha. found both
pleasure and comfort in the home circle
and plunged into all the gayeties that
came my way. The foreman. with
whom l lived, was an Englishman. and
his three sons had followed in his foot
steps to the extent Of being English
and molders. One of the sons-a bOy
Of my own age-had trouble with hts
vocal chords. He thought he could
sing, which suspicion was shared by
the entire family.
At noon We all went home to dinner.
For that meal the mother invariably
set out to each man a robust English
meat pie, or pasty, baked in a crust.
our habit was to eat all we could. bite
our monograms on the top crust. and
inherit the same pasty for supper. So
thoroughly was this system maintained
that during a period Of four months
I do not recall single fight at supper.
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20
Snap
Judgments
By the Parson.

was trying to liven up a rather sonber
company around the dinner table, and
she was especially anxious to lift her
aunt, whose protegee she is, out of the
dumps. This is the reason why her
conversation rippled along. She was
trying to recall the interesting and
laughable incidents of the day for the
sake Of others when it would have been
much more agreeable to her to keep
silent. The truth is, she is wide
reader and a thorough student She
gives an afternoon each week to visit
among the poor. She dresses we'll. but
why shouldn't she? She has plenty of
money. But she is far from being
heartless society girl
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

and liked that.
Attired In shirt sleeves and slippers
the old man sat stiff-backed and alert.
with the keg lying on a chair in front
of him. One hand held short
stemmed garbage burner, and in the
other he supported a half gallon tin
pail with one horny finger hooked
over the rim. His patient wife stood
by bearing a fistful of pipe lighters
made of twisted paper, for the oracle
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20
I he atreet the other daY

w to refuse u snas to reeornss qsnnsa Dan Dontsn on
the street the other day. It
Us not the first time, either, that he has
been so discourteous. 1t cannot be that
he did not know you, for you have
talked with him a half a dozen times.
{ 1t must be that he is an aristocrat,
pure and simple.
} The young woman who conversed so
volubly at the boarding house table
( the other night, in fact monopolizing
the conversation and dealing chiefly in
I (frivolities, surely cannot stand for
much in the intellectual or moral
realm. A pity II is that SO many of
our American girls are given over to
dress, display and society chitchat,
with no interest in better things.
} How lacking in neighborhood spirit
lis that family which moved into the
big house on the boulevard a few
months ago. The members do not
seem disposed either to make or to re-
7 turn calls. They seldom show them
selves at public gatherings. Evidently
they consider themselves quite above
the ordinary run of their fellowmen
)and are entirely lacking in community
spirit.
Is there any stingier man in town
than the rich merchant who turns
(down so many subscription papers pre-
)sented to him at his office? He could
easily afford to subsidize almost any
( of the causes which seek his charity.
He must be boarding all his money for
his distant relatives, since he has no
near ones.
Thus we go on adding snap judgment
to snap judgment, basing our impress
{ sions on very limited acquaintance.
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

Each boarder got what was left Of
his own pasty, besides other things.
and If he didn't care for the pasty 1t
could be placed on file and carried over
TO another meeting under the head OF
unfinished business.
In other ways this good wife and
mother knew how to make home at
tractive. She held the finances. laid in
the provisions and kept her husband
at home on Saturday night by a scheme
more fascinating than any yet touted
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

gotten, and the tales rolled on until
time TO fire up again.
When think of it now that woman
was marvel. She actually delighted
In turning the spigot and stoking the
pipe, and she knew the stories even
better than he, having heard them
often enough. Sometimes Mommer
coached Pepper when he started a
yarn in the middle or left out an i'm
portant paragraph. If it were a
funny story she gave me my cue to
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

bank or hold up an express train AS
the childrens poet put it so long ago:
Little peculations,
Pennies and then,
Lead the way to bigger crimes
Witch land Us in the pen.
1t Is suspected that Diogenes was
the originator of the early Sunday
school book idea that the boy who
starts in life by extending his surrep-
titious sphere of influence to include
the outlying portions of his Deigh-
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

would point out, but the slope begins
very gently and in a manner not call
culated to arouse the suspicion of any
one. The young man who begins by
doing the street railway company out
Of the cents coin of the realm which
is lawfully due It for services rendered
is in a fair way to grow UP to rob a
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

He was also very stern with the mis-
erable little thieves who were hauled
up before the bar of justice for walk
ing off with, sequestering and other
wise misappropriating the personal
property of others. 1t is necessary,
he would indicate to an expectant
world, that the lower classes should
be taught to respect the rights of the
upper, and the most fundamental of
the rights referred to above was that
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

or the use, enjoyment and ultimate
disposition of a mans own property
in his own way. Things had come
to a pretty pass, he thought, when a
man could not be sure of wearing his
own overcoat or carrying his own gold
headed cane for more than two days
in succession. All such offenses
And that family that holds itself so }
aloof from the life of the town has
it's own special sorrow. There are(
good and sufficient reasons why they
do not invite people to their home or
mingle in the life of the neighborhood. }
Some time the skeleton in the closet \
will depart and then their neighbors(
will know how good and friendly they
really are.
The stingy curmudgeon who turns
down the subscription papers gives
every week far more money than most}
of his critics give in ten years. He has
a large number Of private charities; he(
makes a speciality of widows and or (
phans. He bestows many gifts where }
the name of the donor is never knownA
to the recipient. He is averse to SUBJ
scription papers and he does not care2
to exploit his own personality by affix- }
ing his name to libraries. schools and
colleges.
Let us beware of snap judgments. {
Let us construe our fellowmen, their
motives and actions in large, gener- J
Gus fashion. If it is possible to inferS
something to their credit from their be-
havior, even though on the surface it {
might appear rather discreditable to-
them, let us seek, If possible, to dis
cover and promulgate more favorableA
Interpretation and in cases where that(
more favorable construction does not
easily appear why not suspend judg-)
ment for a while?
Remember, too. that we are all liable
to be the victims of snap Judgments {
The great teacher of Nazareth spoke
golden words when he said to his dis
ciples, Judge not. that We be not)
judged; for with what measure We mete)
it shall be measured to you again"
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

against the sacredness of property
should be punished severely.
Diogeness favorite newspaper took
a high moral stand on all such ques-
tions and whenever 1t recounted with
grim satisfaction the fact that Slippery
fessional inmate of Sing Sing and
other resorts, had been found treading
in his mothers footsteps and had
even gone the length Of following
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

bor's orchard is in a fair wa.f to per-
ish In vile dungeon, if not on the
scaffold. In voice that quivered
with righteous Indignation he would
lecture the young culprit on the enor-
nifty of the offense, especially if 1t
happened to be his own orchard in
which the youngster was surprised.
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

and not hesitating to circulate our
opinion broadcast. Now what are the
facts?
The courtly old banker is really every
inch a gentleman. He would never
knowingly slight any one, But he often
gets absorbed in trains of thought
which SO preoccupy his mind that, as
he walks along the street, he practi-
cally sees no one, or If his gaze hap
pens to rest upon others they have
no more individuality than the lamp
posts. It may be an unfortunate habit.
but 1t gives no true idea of his real dis
position.
She whom you denominated frivolous
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

laugh at the proper place by bursting
into a merry peal, whereat the old
mans eyes sparkled and he swore by
the ghost of Vulcan every word was
gospel truth.
By and by when the keg and stock
OF anecdotes ran dry she helped her
man to bed. where he shook the roof
believing the songs of his youth until
he fell asleep. He had toiled and
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

was too busy to strike matches. For
hours he drank from the pail and
told stories of shops he had bossed. of.
strikes and people he had licked, and
of his early days in England. all Of
which was of massive interest to me.
If by mistake, he carried the pipe to
his face the alert wife stuck a paper
roll into the stove and gave him
light. After one puff the pipe was for
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

on the woman's page. On Saturday
night she gave him dime for a shave.
and when he came back with a mani
cured face she sat him down to a small
keg of beer in the kitchen. The keg
was all his. Many a night 1 loitered
with him until the keg yielded nothing
but bubbles. Beer did not appeal to
mes then, but words of wisdom from
the lips of that master mechanic held
me to a painful seat on little stool
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

I.
Half the world is living
From the other half's mis-
takeSS
The former half is living
For the latter half's sweet
sakes.
Half the world is singing
While the other half weep;
The former. half is bringing
Joys well to keep.
So you find half living
For the weaker ha1f's sake;
The former half is giving
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20
Mistakes.

III.
Half the world is smiling
While the other half sigh;
The former half is Willing
While the latter choose TO
die.
Nv.
Half the world is waking
While the other half sleep;
The former half is making
Hay, while others hope TO
reap.
Hints the latter can't mis-
take.
ELEONORE z. HOEFE.
The San Francisco call., 1904-11-20

HAT an ungracious thing It
was In that dignified banker
to refuse to recognize you on
, 1904-12-17
rom PASTOR OF

The attendants of the Presbyterian
church and Sunday school will please
notice that for tomorrow we accent
the kind invitation of the Baptist peo.
pie to unite with them in the preaching
services of the day. The main Pres.
byterian Sunday school will also meet
in G. A. r. hall, but since the early
hour is occupied they will meet after
the morning services, at 10 O'Clock.
As the Presbyterian cottage is unin-
Jured, the primary department will
meet in the usual place and at tie
usual hour, 10 a. m. The Christian
Endeavor will also meet in the cottage
at the usual hour, $50 p. m. The
teachers and the scholars will show
their loyalty by giving us the best
and the biggest Sunday school in our
history, and by keeping everything
booming till our new church is com.
pleted. We will all be there and ready
Tor business at the proper time to-
morrow. A. c. HOGBIN, Pastor.
, 1904-12-17
The Handy Man.

There are a dozen things about the
house you want done before Christmas.
There is the big chair you want recov-
cred and made new. 1t is 80 comfort
able. There Is the new drape needed
for the front door There are several
pictures that you have had all the
year, expecting to get them framed for
Christmas There are lots Of little
things about the home and furniture
that ought to be done, that John"
really hasn't the time to do. Just here
is where to call in the Bartletts. 1t is
their business and pleasure to take all
these little worriments OF the house.
keepers mind and enable her to have
her home in attractive condition for
the holidays. They can help her very
much in making some very acceptable
presents at very modest outlay. They
nave lots of pretty pictures and nice
china at their little nook on Grand
avenue and Third street.
, 1904-12-17
Richard the nj

Next Friday night theater goers will
have an especial treat. The Don c.
Hall Co. will appear in the Shapes
pearian tragedy the Richard III.
What the eastern papers say of Don
c. Hall who is playing a return trip
with Richard III.
Sept 1. 1903.-The Don C. Hall Stock
Co. opened this theater st an over.
flowing house and gave a highly salts.
factory rendition Of their plays dur.
ing entire week. Mr.. Hall supported
by Mrs. Hall in the leading roles were
positively excellent.-Wil M. Vance.
Manager, Bijou Theater, st. Joseph Mo.
Friday. Dec. 23rd at the Opera
House. Prices Is and SO cents for
reserved seats at Laramie Drug store.
, 1904-12-17
RUDYARD kIPLING
ON THE AUTOMOBILE.

Wv =. nv
Mr.. Kipling's letter contributed to
A. B. Filson Young's book, The Com
plete Motortst" Mcclure Phillips), is
really a remarkable document and wor-
thy all the discussion 1t has created
IN the public press. II like motoring
because l have suffered for its sake"
he begins, and goes On: The men to
I~everence. to admire, to write odes
and erect statues to are those Prone
lheuses and Ixions ,maniacs you used
to call US, who chase the inchoate idea
to fixity up and down the Kings high.
way. Yes, l have suffered as l
see in the Of humanity" Speak
ing Of utility: II can catch me a train
anywhere within fifteen miles when
please, and not when the Jenny's hind
leg or Jacks cough Is better; and it
l visit i do 20 a a free agent, making
my own arrangements for coming and
going. But the chief end Of my q
is the discovery Of England. To me
it Is still a marvel that II l want Pet
role in a hurry I must either pass the
place where Sir John Lade lived or
the garden where Jack Cade was kill
ed. In England the dead twelve-cof-
fin deep clutch hold Of my wheels At
every turn, till l sometimes wonder
that the very earth does not bleed."
On the moral aspect; Have you no
ticed how the motor Is the most Ell
Gent Temperance Advocate and the
only Educational Act at present fore
ed in Great Britain. The a de-
mands of her driver, a certain stan
dard Of education, a capacity Of I'M
pickering attention; and absolute
odd miles which divide me from the
nearest town westward ~thirty-one or
thirty-seven pubs, in front Of which
used to ind at least two unattended
horses. Now there are fewer beasts
outside. and those within are not 80
sodden. What has wrought this change
in our midst tracts, blue ribbons. 1t
Is the Car. the unexpected Car around
the corner"
, 1904-12-17
E MENTIONED.

Cold this morning.
Partly cloudy this morning.
Christmas a week from tomorrow.
Nearly all the now is gone already.
The railroad pay checks are expect
ed Monday.
Games for Xmas, half price. Lovejoy.
The Woodmen Of the World last
night initiated two candidates.
w. H. Lovett is painting the inter
ior Of the Kuster hotel ofice.
Best and cheapest toys in town at
the Golden Rule. Mrs. Wall.
Contractor Knadler is handling
something like forty-ive carloads of
ice per day now.
Hon William Maxwell who is at
the Union Pacific hotel. was much bet
ter this morning.
Both the university and the public
schools will close Friday for the
Christmas holidays.
H. D. Beemer yesterday afternoon
had the first coat of floor paint put on
a. the Union Pacic hotel dining room.
The floor is Of maple and will be oiled.
George P. Byers has finished the
plastering in the beautiful brick cot
tage belonging to Will McMurray and
the carpenters are at work now on the
finish.
Mr.. E. E. Whiting. the city engineer,
is confined Is his room with a slight
illness, but his friends hope to see him
out in a few days. His daughter, Mrs.
Tom MacFarlane, of owen. is with
him.
A portrait of Prof. l.. w. Trumbull,
who has just been elected associate
professor of geology and mining en-
cheering at the University Of Wyo-
ming, was printed in the Denver Post
of Friday afternoon.
Yesterday was the anniversary OF
the throwing overheard of the cargo
of tea in the Boston harbor and Jacques
Laramie chapter, Daughters of the
American Revolution, celebrated the
event by holding its annual election OF
officers. .
, 1904-12-17
R.su,.'.. Tor Nav, ch.p,.,n..

One Of the first requisites for the
;uccessful navy chaplain is personal
fearlessness. II It IL backed by Q
powerful physique SO much the better.
for his pastorate is among men trained
In the iron-mailed school Of war.
where the capacity for lighting IL the
cardinal virtue. A single act Of real
heroism. . fetching Demonstration Of
physical proves. . display Of manly
courage in the face Of danser viii 90
further In gaining the sood will Of the
men than . hundred sledgehamme,
sermons. . shiploAd II sound advice
or an ocean q tfuisms.
, 1904-12-17

At "Greenbaum's on the corner the
man thought he was booked for a
necktie party, sure, the way those arti-
Giles of masculine adornment were
spread out and made to take a fellows
mind of his other troubles. If men
keep on patronizing such shops as this
they will oon acquire the reputation
of being as vain as the women are
said to be over their fine clothes.
, 1904-12-17

At "204," the mans nook, the look
er" saw a host Of mems things Of pref
diners mission in life appears to be
to make life's walk easy" with the
Crossett shoe, and to keep the men
comfortable and good looking at the
same time with fine furnishings. The
display of scarfs, with their dainty lit
tie pins, was mighty attractive.
, 1904-12-17
ST. MATTHEW'S CATHEDRAL

Third and Thornburgh streets. Very
Pew. Arnold &. H. Bode. dean.
9:45 a. m, Sunday school.
IL a. M, morning prayer.
1880 p. m, evening prayer.
A cordial invitation 10 all to attend
these services.
, 1904-12-17
YOUNG GIRL MAKES
LONE TRIP ALONE.

Miss Pauline Andrews Of Pearl,
who runs the hotel at Pearl and
whose father Is at Los Angeles for the
benefit of his health, arrived from Los
Angeles last night and left by the
stage for Pearl this morning. She is
only IL years of age, a very bright girl,
and travels half across the continent
alone with no trouble whatever. She
has been visiting her father at Los
Angeles and is now OF the way to
Pearl to Join her mother.
, 1904-12-17

Oranges, fruits, raisins, candies
what visions such an assortment brings
to the mind. AS the plumbago pusher
fingered before the display Of the Gem
City Grocery his mind wandered and
his mouth watered, and nothing could
stop it save a liberal application Of
those luscious chocolate creams He
was mighty glad that Christmas came
occasionally.
, 1904-12-17
Annual Meeting.

Laramie, Wyo., Dec. IA, 1904.
The annual meeting Of the Riverside
Live Stock company will be held at the
ONCE of the company, at Laramie,
on Saturday, January II,
A. D. 1905, for the purpose Of electing
trustees for the ensuing year AMI
any other business that
may properly come before the me,ting.
w. B. EMMONS, President.
Attest: J. A. W1NKLER, JR.,
Secretary.
, 1904-12-17

Nice furnished room, with bath,
close in. Inquire Bartlett's Nook, Sd
st. and Grand I've tt
, 1904-12-17

The Order of Railway Conductors
VIII give their second annual ball at
M~aennerchor hall on Thursday even
ing, December %. Everybody invited,
ADMISSION, 81 2O5t1O
, 1904-12-17

PURITAN" PANCAKE Iolje
NONE FINER, 2-LB. PACKAGE, 1oc,
AT HOLIDAYS.