The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-09-09
THE NONPAREJL MAN,

Clarence and Mary, or the Romance Of
| Birchdale-Story of a Minnesota Elope-
| ment In Which Cupid Held Four of a
| Kind, While Parents vainIy strove to
| Take the Stakes with Two Small Pairs.
Clarence Couture, age 1e, and Mary zim-
norman, age IA, have beer causing their
parents at Birchdale,. Mimi, to lie awake
nights. Cause: Clarence and Mary de-
| termined to get married. .-
1t was no ordinary case. Talk, and there
was much of it, seemed utterly wasted.
Clarence and Mary had made up their
minds: Parents might as we'll have talked
to the south wind that blew over Birch
dale's rolling wales and whispering leaves
last week.
After all the talk was talked out and
after papa had put his foot doWn--in fact,
had put several feet down several times,
Clarence and Mary ran away one. day.
and went to Long Prairie, where the
Long Prairie Leader had a reporter on
their trail from the moment they struck
the city limits. = Z, :
The children went at once to the city
hall, where Clerk. Scow was interviewed
regarding a license. Peter shifted sus-
piciously when their ages were mentioned
and suggested a written document. from
} father permitting the marriage: The
Mr.. 'ScoW should doubt their assertions
that both We're Of sufficient age to en-
able them to do whatever they wanted
r to do, but they finally departed after the
necessary documents. r.. -
Clarence and Mary were not SO easily
, turned aside from their adamantine pur-
pose. You know how you are about those
things when you get your mind made up:
So a few days after, Mr.: EScoW received
i thru the mail the necessary papers and
ipt1
7 their validity. the young lady g. father
Q dropped into the office and hollered good
and plenty. His indignant cutlery prompt
ly put stop to further negotiations. The
D letter of consent was a forgery and the
: parents knew nothing about it. ..:. -
The old gentleman returned home that
afternoon good and warm all over and
thoroly determined to introduce sundry
methods Of discipline into his family, but
g when he reached home the young peo-
g pie had decided to waive the Formally
s Of a license, for, as we said before, they
20 were determined to get married, anyhow
II They had made UP their minds to It, Sc
d they had fled-and together. -. J. ~
a There was some search, but my good
st ness what can you. do when the young
l. folks are just set on getting married
Their present whereabouts are unknown
y at this writing, but we suspect that the
"a old folks will soon receive" d telegram
II, II, saving: 49, 49, 49, ...~<
le give you all. Clarence and Mary.
in When will parents learn that when WI
children set out to get married, they
's might as we'll step aside and let Cupit
a take his own way. It saves lot of fric
4 ton to bow at once to these mysteriou
-, dren. .'.
n One of those biblical students came il
ot with problem the other day that ha
caused some heart-burnings at his home
Us It was this:
"Why didn't Moses take butter wit
him into the ark?'
he Now, on its face, that problem look
a. very simple. Of course. you say: >.
because it was strong enough to wal
"a. In ITSELF -.sr< -.-.as .~s-ss>..s
100 The biblical student gloomily shakes hi
ba head. He had heard that before. The
:. you think and think to yourself 'butte
II butter wonder If there is any yelled rel
he erence to the goat?' No, it isn't tina
a. Finally you give it up and the biblic;
nm student srnilingly says it was because h
wv didn't go into the ark at ALL hence coul
,st not take in butter or anything else.'
re- 'Didn't?' .a
~ tNo."
oi' "Why didn't he?" i.'t 70" --.'.f
KS. because he wasn't born at the time
try Then you tumble and wonder why yc
nat were so dense anyhow. Yet vast nun
80 bers of good people fall down on a prol
a. lem like this VI. ~ ....- 4
DUR ~
The Detroit Free Press tells of me
who stepped into an upper Michigs
rod newspaper office and paid the editor S
back subscription Then he ordered Il
ose paper fer five years more and paid all
err it in advance. The man was intoxicate
~. Frank Eddy's old FRIEND Il Haako
9ie' dropped into the Sauk Center Herald G
lch fee last week and told him how the pc
me- ticians got after him: -
for Ven ay come up. the street in n
- wagon a weller rams out and hits me
re- mine back some blazes and say, Hel
how vas your and I dels him ay v
pretty goot. Den he tells me he vos o
la n Of dem st. Cloud vellers some var runn1
for offs. He tells me he only hold dc
ler- offs for ferty years and anodder vel
at wants it for he denhs he half it
.by long already. + dell him ay dink das '
;1,,a foolishnsss, for ven a weller hat of
ioio forty years he don't var goot for an
'sed thing else. Den he hit me on my ba
to some more and dells me lets come a
If ,, hav a beer glass; ny dels him ay do
drink beer and he hit me on my ba
! VI some more and rdells me he was demp
ence, too, and neffer drinks no beer. .
ay tells him ay hat mine. appendeseus
ON off in Sainte Paul a couple Of years bat
ons wards and ay tink it vas a good ting
g.. ay put some goot brandvin visky on
spot so some modification don't beg
n Den he hits me on my back some m
v it and deli me tink he may have his L
+hn pendeseus cut off sometime, too. and
-. will be good plan to put some brand
luce visky on dot spot SO he don't have SO
opt modification ven 1t vas cut off
Den he hits me some more on
back and say, Vat is you Nance and
neat dels him Haakon CLAWS Haakenson d,
-, kebakken Ovrestad, and he dells me
No. . vas such a nice and SO easy name for
70 nembrance. Den he hits me on m
900. Pback dree times more and nd say, 'IIaak