The National tribune., 1904-07-28
ron, and Bob Evans, and Gen. E. Bird |
Grubh. and two or three protocols What

II. q.
Grubb, and two or three protocols. What
are you going to do about it?
Nothing doing" says the Consul.
BE off with you. then says l, out of
patience with him. and send me Doc Mil
likin. Ask Doc to come and see me-
doc comes and looks through the bars
at me, surrounded by dirty soldiers, with
even my shoes and canteen confscated
and lie looks nightly pleased.
Hello. Yank.' says he, getting a little
taste of Johnson's Island now. amt yeT
Doc. says /. I've just had an inter
view with the L. s. Consul l gather from
his remarks that | might just as well have
been caught selling suspenders in Kishineff
under the name of Rosenstein as to be i'm
my present condition. 1t seems that the
| only maritime aid l am TO receive from the
United States is some navy-plug to chew.
Doc. says /. cant you suspend hostilities
| on the slavery question long enough TO do
something for me|
1t amt been my habit Doc Millikin
answers. to do any painless dentistry
| when find a Iank cutting an eye-tooth
SO the Stars and Stripes amt landing any
| marines TO shell the huts of the Colombian
cannibals. hey: Oh. say. can you see by
the dawn's early light the star-spangled
banner has fiuked i'm the fight? What's
the matter with the War Department.
hey? It's great thing to be n citizen Of
| Il gold standard nation. amt it|
Rub it in. Doc. all you want says l.
i guess we're weak on foreign policy
For IA Yank,' says Doc. putting on his
specs and talking more mild. you amt so
bad. If you had come from below the line
l reckon l would have liked you right
smart Now, since your country has gone
back on you. You have TO come to the old
doctor whose cotton you burned and whose
mules you stole and whose niggers you
l ILL., ~ Al
1t is says | heartily, and let's have
n diagnosis of the case right away. for in
two weeks time all you can do is to hold
an autopsy. and l don't want to be ampu-
tated if l can help it,
"'Now.' says Doc. business-like, its
easy enough for you to get out of this
scrape. Money'll do it. You've got to pay
down to this anthropoid ape guarding your
door. About $4,000 will do the trick.
| Have You got the money"
Me! says |. I've got one Chill dollar.
two real pieces, and a medic
Then if you've any last words. utter
en- says that old reb. The roster of
your financial budget sounds quite much to
me like the noise of requiem
Change the treatment says /. I adj
nit that I'm short. Call a consultation or
use radium or smuggle me in some saws or
| something.
"'Yank.' says Doc Millikin, I've good
notion to help you. There's only one Gov
| eminent in the world that can get you out
of this difficulty; and that's the Confeder-
ate States Of America, the grandest nation
| that ever existed
Just as you said to me l says to Doc:
| Why, the COnfederacy amt nation. It's
been absolved 40 years ago.
That's a campaign he,' says Doc.
She's running along as solid as the Roman
Empire. She's the only hope you've got.
Now, you, being a Yank. have got to go
| through with some premiinary obsequies
| before you can get official aid. You've got
| TO take the oath of allegiance to the Con-
federate Government. Then I'll guaran-
| tee she does all she can for you. What do
you say. Yank its your last chance
IF you're fooling with me, Doc | an
swers, you're no better than the United
| States But as you say it's the last
| chance, hurry up and swear me. / always
did like corn whisky and cock-fghts any
how. l believe I'm half Southerner by
nature. I'm willing to try the kuklux in
place of the khaki. Get brisk
doc Millikin thinks awhile, and then he
offers me this oath of allegiance to take
without any kind of chaser:
az, Barnard O'Keefe, Yank, being of
sound body, but a Republican mind, here
by swear to transfer my fealty, respect.
and allegiance to the Confederate States
of America, and the Government thereof
| in consideration of said Government
through its official acts and powers obtain
ing my freedom and release from confne-