The Tomahawk., 1904-04-07
I " What u
| Bears Will Do
Uncle Jase Settles the Question
| With Tale of Uncle Splitter.
@ @&
'tTLTs Sam got up so student from

settin' that he almost knocked Uncle
Jase out O the three-legged cheer where
he sot, and he says, sort o as II ne was
mad, and sort O. as if he was goln' TO
take Uncle Jase by the neck:
"I've always believed they'd 90 It,
says he, and I've always stuck to it and
arsyfied the strongest kind that they d
do it, says he, but see now that they
won't, and take it all bacl!' says he.
81 had always stood up ag'in Ellis Sam
sayin' that they would do it, cause I
thought I knowed 'em bout as well as
the next feller, havin' trapped 'em and
shot 'em and had rough and tumbles
with em, up hill and down dale. helter
SHELTER through the scrub, and ker-
sploshity-splosh knee deep across the
swamps, fer more than 40 year, and
they hadn't never done it to me, and l
never knowed o. their doin' it to any
one else, so I always stood up ag'in Ellis
Sam on his pint that they would DO 1t,
but ne stuck to it like woodtlck to
a yaller coon dog. And he was doln
of it this time, over to the Eddy. settln'
on the shoebox and layin' Of his argy-
fyin' down fer sartin.
"'Do it?' says he. why, sure as pow
der they'll do it! Every time they git the
chance. Bears don't like nothin' better
than to chaw man fer dinner, bears
don't says he. DO it?' says he. 'O'
course they'll do it,
"'Pish!' says I. Bears won't do 1t!
Rears won't eat a man no more than
will!' says I.
"'They won't, hey?' says Uncle Jase.
Well says he, takin' somethin' outen
his pocket and holdin' it up betwixt his
fingers. Here's somethin' that says
they will, Dan'l,' says he. Tain't nothln'
hut a. button-a shiny brass button
but it's primy fishy evidence that they'l IL
do it, says he.
ellis Sam he frightened up and
looked at me as if he was sorry Ter
me, and he says:
"'Aha!' says he. How did you come
to git it, Uncle Jase?' says he.
"'That button,' says Uncle Jase, was
on the sojer coat O. my old pap's Uncle
Spitzer when he come over here with
the Britishers to fight ag'in us fellers
time o. the revolution. Uncle Splitter
was always sorry he fit on t'other side,
and he said he'd never a. done 1T II he'd
onlv had an inklin' o. what nice folks
we was over here, and SO when he came
up after the war and settled in the Knob
country folks took sech likin' to him
that they never said nothin' ag'in his
wearin' that sojer coat O his'n with the
hrass buttons on it. And this here is
one O. 'em'
"Uncle Jase had been talking slower
and slower and lower and lower, all the
time wigglin' and keepin' hiseyes onto
Simon, and then he shet up student and
with a snap. Then me and Ellis Sam
looked over to Simon, and we see he had
got I'D and was fastenin' the kiver down
on the pail O. loose chawin' that al
ways sets on the counter, and it looked
to MS as if he hadreme embered that Uncle
Jase always got sort O. absent minded
when he begun to make history, and
seemed to forgit that the terbacker
wasn't there, like almanacs, to help his
self to.
$50 when we see Simon fastenin' of
The kiver on to the pail O. loose chawin'
we knowed that Uncle Jase d be dis
couraged, and that the history O that
soier button d more than likely be lost.
AS fer me, I didn't care so much, fer
wasn't lookin' fer no evidence ag'in
my argyfyin' that bears wouldn't do it..
but Ellis Sam he was disappointed, and
he hauls out his new plug O. sweet ter
hacker and hands it to Uncle Jase and
says:
"'Have a chaw, Uncle Jase?'
"Uncle Jase bein' particularly fond o
sweet plug, he cheered up like the sun
comm from behind cloud, took an
amazin' chaw often Ellis Sans plug, and
started right in to make history ag'in.
Then, O. course, his absent mindedness
took holt on him, and he stuck Eil's Sans
plug into his pocket.
"'Yes, yes!' says he, when Uncle
Splitter come up after the war and set
tied in the Knob country, folks took
sech a likin' to him that they never said
nothin' ag'in his wearin' that British
er soier coat O. his'n with the brass
buttons on it. Particularly they didn't
after he fetched in the wildcat and the
fox, one day.
"'He wasn't out after wildcat nor
fox, neither. He was jest trampin' the
woods with his eye peeled fer bear, but
bear didn't seem to care to have him
git his eye on to 'em, and they laid low.
So he sot down on to log and lit his
nine. and was smokin' away, grinnin'
to think how skeert all the bears was of
him, and yit mad to know that they
was, when big red fox come trottin'
out O. the bushes ana went skitin' past
Uncle Splitter like a streak O. grease.
"'Thinkin' that he mowt as well take
a fox skin home if he couldn't do no
better, Uncle Spitzer hauled up to put
bullet into that one, when the fox got
behind a big chestnut tree and didn't
come out into sight ag'in. Uncle Splitter
stepped round the tree to git bead on
A.. &c 49,,