davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05


The Akhoond Of Swat
Whatl What What
What's the news from swatf
Sad news.
Bad news,
Comes BY the cable led
Through the Indian oceans bed
Through the Persian Gulf the Rs<
Sea. and the Med
I Itsrranean-hs's dead,
The Akhoond y dssdi
For the AkhooDd mournt
Who Wouldn't
He strors 10 disregard the messsS
stern.
But be Akhoodn't
Dead. dead. deadi
tSorro~ SrstsJ
I swsfs. ~hs hss with Akhoond blsd
Z Swats, whom be hath oftsa led
Onward 70 a gory bed.
Or 10 riefory.
As the case might BE-
Sorrow. Srats!
Tsa~ she'd.
Shed tears Ike wsteri
Your great Akhoond Is dsal
That's Swat TIA matter.
Mourn, City Of Swat
Your great Akhoond = not.
B1; lain mid worms 70 rot
His mortal part alone: bis soul was
caught
tBccaure be was q good AkhoondJ.
Up 10 the bosom Of MsbouDc.
Though earthly walls bis frame surround
ifor ever hailowec be the srouBcl
And seeptres mock the l0wly mound.
And ssy. Hes now Of no Akhoondi-
His soul is IN the skies-
Ihs sEnres skies that bead above biz
loved
Metropolis % swat
lie sees with larger. other eyes
Athwari AL ssr.hly mysteries
lie knows whats Swat
Let Swat bury the grsai Atssoond
With a nolss Of mourning and Of iaEne5
tstion.
let sws; bury the great Akhooat
With the noise Of The mourning Of tbs
svssiish nation.
Falisn 10 si isngth
lis tower % srengsb--
Iis sun 10 tlumsd ere !; had tnoones
Dead Les tie grssi Akhoond.
The Ersat Akhoonc ot Swat
Ia rot.
-S~orse 7. Lsnigsa
Le~dis rs-eob etr.u>~
I h=f ~oa funny leeSls POI.
We; goDes schasi 10 mlae knee:
Der erssssi schsp. Ger Greatest rogos
A sfer you dit see:
lie runs. und seAumps ind schmashe
eisrs
In all bar-s % der house
De; ros 81 co;f lie vas mine son
Ains lssd.< Ys~oob strssss.
lie &c; Ger r,sssl~s ind der munh~,
Uns sferyclns cots ondi.
lie sbiils milne glass or lager bier.
roois scAnu1 indo mine kraui.
lis iiis mine pipe snit iAmbSrs eA~ss~-
Do vss der rosghes; ebonse.
"a esks do< rron DO oder boz
Bat le~als Ys~ceb Strauss
II. cake. eee nth ban for drum.
ubd cats mine cane IN ewo.
70 make der sehiieks 10 bss; Il nit
Mas Gracious. eos VOC crns
eiaks nsins head vac schpi,t sbsrS
he kicks cup scocA o ionss--
Bot neser inine. der boys rss few
Liz. eot yoaas Ys~eob suansA
lie asks me questions scooh 90 do~s;
Who bsiass fsiae noss % netf
Nts vac IL euts eo< Schnvodth bincs
eads
yron der hair upon mine h~df
fDd vhsrs De pisss goes vroln der Lanai
vene'sr Dc slin I douse-
low gan ! ali eoss dag, errsh.sin
Il sos schassl rawco5 Strau-ss
sometimes dlnk schsn SO viid
Nit socch q grsry ROY.
nd visA voacs more ! sould haf ress
Tad bssosfsi diy~s snshoy.
'ut yea he vss sshleep IL ped.
SO ssie; ss q mouse I
prnys der Lord. "Dsks snyd.ngA
Bus >sf DOT rswcob sraoss" /.
Charles Foilsn Adams ,
:
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Husband drritsblyl-It isn't a year
since you said you believed our mar
rage was made In heaven and Jet you
order me around ss II / wasn't any
body.
Wife fcslmiy)-Order Is beavers
nrst lsw.-Aew YORK Weekly.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05
HUMOR UF THE WEEK
BTORIES TOLD eY FUNNY MEN
or THE PRESS.

Odd, Curious and Lsuxhabie Phases
Of HnAsaa Nature Graphically For
trayed By Eminent WORD Arti-t. OF
Oar Own Day-A Budget Of Fun
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Yes. sub" said the colored farmer.
'1ightnin' hii two er my mules at de
same time en- haln't seen dat light
min In dis neighborhood fun dat day
ter dis."-Atlants Constitution.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

wiil.am-You mus remember. my
dear. that my taste Is better than
yours.
His Dear wife-Undoubtediy, vhea
we come 10 consider that you married
me and I married you
And William ssid 10 more-Comie
Cuts
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

"Do you think that betting is
wrongr'
at depends on circumstances. an.
swered the town oracle. "If you can't
afford TO lose It's wrong; II you can.
IT'S merely Washington Star.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Mamma-Yes. the clippers have been
discovered at Niagara Falls. They
are going to telegraph home for for.
giveness.
Papa-Thank goodness I thought
they were going to telegraph home for
funds
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

spinoza's favorite amusement was T.
set spiders 20 fighting. and he would
laugh immodcratcly at bcholding thei
fcrocious struggles.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Then you refuse me simply because
an poorf- he bitterly cried
~Nou aatter yourself" said the gen
tie maiden.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Times amt what they used TO be. -
said Farmer CorniosseL In the days
gone by ii used 10 be disgrace to be
arrested"
len; IL nowY'
Il dunno. Pears 10 me like ifs the
only way 10 get your name IN the pa
per along with the millionaireS that
own fast horses and big automobiles
Washington Star.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

AT last" exclaimed the medical stu
dent. 81 have discovered a sure corn
cure.
Put me wise" said his friend
'Haye your feet amputated." replied
the embryo II. D.. with ghoulish
chHckie.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Comedian-whsi is MacHsm. the
irayedlan. doing nowy
Sweet Sinser-Why. he's a hotel
runner.
Comedian-You don't mean to say
he waits around the stations to catch
strangers;
Sweet Singer-oh. no. He Just runs
from the hotels when his bin comes
around
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Bridset-Miss Gladys is not at home.
cor.
Mr.. Kaliow-Resily, Pshswi That's
too bad.
Bridget-Yis. sor: but she said II
that's a box OF candy ye're carryin'
she hoped ye'd Fave it-Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Little willie-wha; is nsstery. pa,
Pa-Flsttery. my son. is the praise
we hear bestowed upon other people
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

How did Blunwood Eet along In
such swell neighborhood without an
automobilef"
"0h. every one thought he owned
one. He bought a horn which he
would toot In the stable, and they ali
thought the automobile was out Of o.
AR"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

La Montt-what is the difference be
tween a personally conducted tour
and any other kind;
La Moyne-oh. about 800 or so
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

when men complain 100 much OF
moncsony. look out Tor = cyclone "a
break IL
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Here. take this rifier cried the ex-
cited Snowman THE leopard has e.
capped. II you ind him shoot him on
the spot"
(which s-spot sirr Gaspcd the
green tent boy.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

DO you know. Sue. you're the dear
es; little mouse In the world.'
-0h. do1'tI I'm SO afraid OF mice
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

Bsnoy-But why have you thrown
Charlie overboardr
Maude--l couldn't marry . man with
broken nos~. you know.
Banby--Ah, wonder how b. rpt
his nose broken. peer feiIowr
Maude-oh. struck him pisyius
sennlx,--rick Ale Up.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

s.'''Fe " s.1FN '7F3EF - !" MT n q NN-I-
tingent seet
PA contingent fee. my son. Is a
lawyers conditional fee. II he brings
a suit for q ellen; and loses be gets
nothing; II he wins the client gets
poihing.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

$50 Edgewood got rid OF mosquitoes
with kerosene. III Just 20 home
ind
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

WhsHt ~ sHHs VIZ
Edytb-I consulted . forune-tsnss
today. but she was = fake.
Mayme-How do you knowf
Edytb-How DO I know, Why. shs
told me that would be married scon.
but my husband would not be wealthy.
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05
--One moment"
~WeIlg-

Il forgot 10 say be also got nd Of
bis barn. fence and house at the same
time"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

I've got a good story 10 tel you. ]
don't think ! ever told !; 10 you be
fore"
lis II really funnyr
Yes. indeed. II Is"
Then you haven't told II to me
before"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

ny husband USED 10 nave nus When
be was a young man. said Mrs.
Stringer.
-indeed.T exclaimed Mrs Marks
-And he doesn't have them any moreY
NO replied Mrs s. He buys biz
clothes al misat emporium now"
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

The great detective WAS standing at
tie telephone noting down the descriD-
ton or female kleDiOmaniac.
'Tapering hands," came over the
wire.
HUH exclaimed the Z. g. NO
wonder abe is nght-hngered-
The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1904-05-05

The man who IL sstisnsd with ~
seif doesp't want much
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-08-23

! will say to the city fathers
of Astoria, you will not drive
me from your city
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
MURPHY BESTS M'GOVERN.
New York bantam Outpoints Terry's
BROTHER in n Fast Bout,

PHILADELPHIA, Sept. 2s.-Tommy Murphy
Of New York was flstio star In an exciting
six round bout at the National A. c. tonight.
Murphy met Hughey Modovern, brother
Of Terry. The New Yorker outpointed his
opponent two to one, and no was master Of
the situation. despite the fact that no decision
was rendered. Only in the first round was
Mcdovern in any way conspicuous He
knocked Murphy down, but after that the
New Yorker toyed with him. hitting him
when and where he pleased. 1t was q fight
to suit the most critical fistic follower and
proved that Murphy is one OF the coming
bantams.
Mct;overn started of like race horse.
He waded into Murphy. The first thing he
did was to hook the left. but in return got an
ugly jab on the face. Mciovern then put
three straight let's to the mouth and wound
up with hard right to the wind. In the
with a swing and jabbed the latter with the
was foremost In the third.
ropes with heavy lefts., There was, plenty
swings, but Murphy seemed to, have his
Thought Ru they Would do the 'N most harm.
Mc,iovern confined himself e swings for
h hs c RSda ana sse MIND ''0A
The fifth was fought at g hurricane pace.
Mc.ioyern took a brace and reached the inv
wind. Murphy scored on the body. but Nc
.ioyern made him 70 back several feet with
hooks and jabs; The men were busy In the
the tide, but Murphy would not give him any
leeway. The blows came so fast. and were
90 accurately aimed that MS.sSvern covered y red
final minute Of the scrap, made a desperate
rally. but he could not find his antagonist
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
RAID REVEALS ROBBERY.
Jockey Jenkins Wa Held Up I'm Forty
fourth Street and Lost $500 Ring.

A bold highway robbery was revealed
Yesterday In the West Side Court as an
incident Of the arraignment Of the fourteen
prisoners captured in the raid In West
Forty-second street, when Herman Mayer
said q, 400 was taken from him by alleged
wire tappers. Charles Jenkins. the jockey,
who has just come back from London.
was assaulted and robbed Of $500 diamond
ring in front Of the Hotel Gerard early
Sunday morning.
Jenkins and his wife are staying at the
Gerard. They had been to supper at a
Sixth avenue restaurant and as they turned
into Forty-fourth street to reach the hotel
four men set upon them. In the scufie,
two rings were pulled from Jenkins's right
hand. The highwaymen, however, dropped
one ring, which Jenkins recovered.
Jenkins thought the men had followed
them from the restaurant, and Detective
FRYE surmised that the robbers might
be among these captured In the raid Tues
In the West Side Court yesterday and picked
out Thomas Martin, one Of the prisoners.
as a member of the party OF highway
men. Martin was held In $2,5 for ex-
animation this afternoon.
or the thirteen other prisoners nine
were discharged. James Watson, James
Carr. Albert Ross and James Boyle were
held in 81, 500 bail. Mayer said these four
were present when Meyers, who jumped
out of the window during the raid, got his
money. Meyers, who Is In Roosevelt Hos
pital, will be well enough to attend the
examination this afternoon.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
PUNCHBOWL THE KAISER GAVE.
should 1t He Kept on tho Kea narge or by
Capt. Homphinf

Officials at the Brooklyn navy yard yes
terday refused to take any part In the con-
troversy over the alleged retention by
Capt. Joseph H. Hemphill. captain Of the
yard, Of the silver punchbowl presented by
Emperor William at the Kiel regatta ITO
the Captain, officers and crew Of the battle
ship Kearearge.'
Capt. Hemphill was the commander Of
tho Kearsarge when the presentation took
place, and there has been much criticism
over his alleged removal Of the gift from
the vessel. the supposed understanding
being that It should not be separated from
the vessel under any circumstances. Capt.
Hemphill's response to the inquiries about
WASHINGTON, Sept. 2s.-Ofioers Of the
Navy Department were rather reticent to-
day with regard to the controversy over the
punchbowl presented to the Captain, officers
and crew OF the United States ship Kear-
sarge by Emperor William. This reticence,
however, Is largely due to the lack Of official
information on the subject. particularly
With regard to Capt Hernphills intentions
in the matter. It was the understanding
Of officers hero that the bowl was presented
to the ship and not to Capt. Hemphil indi-
vidually, Just as similar plate has been pre-
sented TO warships by the States or cities
after which they are named.
Then, too, It is pointed out that Capt.
Hemphill Is specifically barred from ao-
oepting the bowl by the law forbidding
such q course except by the consent OF
Congress. The National Legislature has.
Of course, taken no action In this case, for
IL has not been In session since the Kear-
earge returned from Kiel.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
CHILDREN STILL ON PART TIME,
But Education Board Has Found That the
Mayors Plan for Ending II Isn't New.

At the monthly meeting Of the Board
Of Education yesterday the part time
problem received little attention. The
committee on elementary schools, to which
was referred the Mayors suggestion for
remedying overcrowding, had nothing to
report except that It was making as much
progress .as circumstances would allow"
The committee welcomed the suggestions
Of the Mayor and commended his action,
but asserted that the plans he proposed
were not new and had been under con-
sideration by the committee for some
time. The report went on to remark:
'The problem OF giving full days school,
ing to every child In the city would be
comparatively easy Of solution II the
Board OF Estimate, the Department Of
Finance and the Law Department would
cooperate promptly and theoretically with
the Board OF Education In the acquisition
OF sites for school buildings. The last
mentioned matter Is one to which we desire
to call the Mayors especial attention.
Most OF the meeting was taken up by
discussion of the appointment OF fifty new
assistant principals In the schools Of Man
haitian, Supt. Maxwell recommended this
strongly saying that the consolidation Of the
schools had burdened the principals with
duties which should be given TO an assistant
All the same, action was postponed TO the
next meeting.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
7J7NS7N su %Sn.as F Gent 9 4gns hs o.
x&8AHR4S(2 a4s B'way. End floor.
Took Two 81 900 Bills and Gave One
To Her l1oYcr-In Jail NaM.

Julie Starzenski who was employed
as a servant by Mrs. Abbie F. Ullman OF
10 Ludlow street, Yonkers, wanted to marry
Julius Rolakovski, Russian whose home
Is at es Croton Terrace, Yonkers, but funds
were lacking. Last Friday she took two
81, 900 bills from the drawer Of sewing
table and next day persuaded Julius to go
with her to Jersey City.
Julie then handed a $1,000 bill to her
lover. julius, dazed at the appearance OF
the certificate. hcsitated about getting
married and hustled back to Yonkers,
where his brother told him that the bill
was nothing more than cigar purchase
coupon. Mrs. Ullman. upon discov ering
her loss notified the local detective bureau
Then she went to Jersey City, where Julie
had relatives, and found the girl. The
Jersey City police arrested Julie, after
finding one OF the bills pinned inside of
wrapper sleeve.
Julie confessed. The Yonkers police
arrested Julius. Julie was arraigned be-
fore, Judge Higgins in the First Criminal
Court of Jersey City, charged with grand
larceny and held for further examination.
The second 81, 600 bill was found in Julius's
trunk. Julius was held as witness.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
SCHOOLBOYS STONE HOTEL.
Guests OF the Cecil Much Annoyed-Poiice
DO Nothing. Manager Says.

Guests in the Hotel Cecil, at llsth street
and st. Nicholas avenue, complain bitterly
OF the miscellaneous FRANKS Of boys who
attend Public School No. 10, which is at
the southwest corner Of 117th street and
st. Nicholas avenue. Before school closed
last spring the boys began throwing stones
at the hotel windows During summer
there was let up to their mischief, but
this month the boys have been making
more trouble than ever. Windows have
been smashed and stones thrown at the
building daily.
F. @. Sandford, the assistant manager OF
the hotel. said yesterday that he had COM
planned to the police until he was tired.
There Ia policeman stationed at the school,
but he Ii too far of to catch any Of the boys
On one occasion, he said, a stone smashed
a large plate glass window on tho St.
Nicholas avenue side Of the building, which
barely missed hitting him as he sat at din
ner. At another time q crowd Of boys
began fighting in 1isth street in front Of
the hotel, and some one in the crowd threw
a rock against one Of the large show
windows, smashing II to pieces.
The hotel people have appealed to Ernest
r. Birkins, principal OF the school. and he
has promised TO punish any boy they catch
doing anything to annoy the guests.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
WOULDN'T DANCE; KILLED.
Italian Teamster Shot Through the Heart
by . skylarking Friend.

Italian Teamster Shot Through the Heart
by . skyiarkins Friend.
Dance, Patsy. Dance said Herman
Gerkin to Pasquale Festa, "a years old, at
Waverly. N. j.. yesterday morning, and
known as Patsy did not shuttle his feet,
Gerkin pulled revolver from his hip
pocket and shot FIESTA through the heart.
He said later that he did not intend to shoot
the man and that he had aimed the pistol
at his feet. but the bullet passed through
Festas heart and he fell to the ground and
died before aid could reach him.
The men were employed by the engineer
ing and contracting firm OF B. M. Il j. F.
Stanley and were opening streets adjoin-
ing the site OF the Lidgerwood Hosting
Engine Company. Gerkin, who is 20 years
old, and made his home at $40 Monroe
avenue, Elizabeth. was foreman on the
work and Festa was hauling rails for the
construction track The two men had
been good friends. In fact there appears
to have been no excuse for the shooting
except that Gerkin is said to have been
with the italian.
When Gerkin realized that he had killed
the teamster he handed the revolver to
Leonard Mullen. another workman, who
threw the pistol upon the crane Of the steam
shovel and afterward handed It to the
police.
Mounted Policeman MoRell and PATROL
man McCabe were talking together q few
blocks away and went to the scene. They
arrested Gerkin, Mullen and half dozen
others who witnessed the shooting. Gerkin
was committed TO jail later in the day and
Mullen was released. All Of the Witnesses
said that the shooting was accidental and
the result Of ekylarking.
When Gerkin was searched q rabbits
foot was taken from his pocket and placed
upon the sergeant's desk in the First pre-
cfnct station.
said the prisoner, who seemed to be quite
sober then. Gerkin has worked for the
Shanleys for years and has had q good
reputation "a quiet and steady man.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
GIVE IN TO MAYOR PAGAN.
Democrats Help Out Money Lenders by
Letting Republicans Hold Jobs for Time.

The Democratic Street and Water Board
OF Jersey City, which decided to ignore
Mayor Mark M. Fagan's messages vetoing
appointments Of Democrats to succeed
Republican city employees removed by
the board. has concluded to recognize
the Mayors right to veto appointments,
for a little while at least.
The commissioners have agreed to adopt
this course to oblige some money lenders,
who pride themselves on their pull with
the Democratic powers that be.
Many Of the Republican clerks who were
ordered dismissed on Sept. Is and 10 got
hard up in the simmer months and borrow ed
from the money lenders, giving them pow
ers OF attorney to collect their salary war
rants for the month Of September.
1t became apparent to the lenders that
they would be out OF pocket II their debtors
lost their jobs before pay day came around
and they got busy.
As q result tho commissioners decided
to recognize the vetoes which have been
sent to them by the Mayor and override
them at the proper time. The proper
time will be next Monday, on who day
the dismissed clerks will be entitled to q
full months pay.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
BAR ASSOCIATION ADJoURNs,
II. st. George Tucker Elected President
-Peaoo Plan Comm enaed


ST.. LOUIS. Sept. 2s.-The concluding
session OF the American Bar Association
was devoted TO the reading Of reports Of
the special committees and to the election
OF officers for the ensuing year. The new
officers are: President, Henry st. George
Tucker, Lexington, Va; secretary, John
Hinckley. Baltimore; treasurer, Frederick
b. Wadhams. Albany. A vioe-president
was elected from each State, New York
being represented by Everett p. Wheeler
Of New York city.
During the meeting Ferdinand Shack
OF New York introduced resolution that
this association expresses its deep graft
tude at the steps recently taken by the
Interparliamentary Union toward the settle
ment OF controversies between nations In
accordance with the recognized principles
OF law, and at the announcement OF the
President Of the United States OF his in
tention TO comply with the request OF the
union and invite the nations to con-
ference
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1904-09-29
Decision Against the Laekawanna

Justice Dixon handed down q decision
In the Supreme Court. Jersey City. yester-
day Diminishing the application Of the Lack
awanna Railroad Company for a writ OF
certiorari for a review OF the proceedings
OF the commission which condemned lands
under the railroads Hoboken terminal
needed for the Hoboken and Manhattan
Railroads. branch trolley tunnel loop.