Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1904-07-19

I
matter by dressing like a comic opera
chorus. Detroit Free Press. : Y
In case OF doubt, take your umbrcl-
la. In case of doubt as to the owner
ship of the umbrella. take 1t anyway.
Kansas City Journal. II
The actress with the, flag painted on
her back beats the Constitution in go
ing ahead of it, not following it.
New York Mail and Express.
Mr.. Rockefeller is gathering the gold
mines in the United States. By and
by he will be able to say of the repub-
lie, 1T is all Miner Mexican Herald
In Australia CRATER means a ioer
of hard and faithful work. Now we
understand why they call that coun-
try the antipodes. Boston Globe.
The reason man marries his
sweetheart is because she is not like
other girls. The reason he divorces
her Is because she is.--Illinois State
Journal
One of those large volumes of
treaties of no further use or validity
might be used to keep the open door,
from being slammed shut.-vBoston
Transcript a
Speaking Of the idiosyncracies of the
English speech. is there better exam
pie than the fact shat when you best
a ran you worst him?-Seattle Post
Intelligencer.
There is restaurant at the st
Louis exposition where forty eight Ian
guages are spoken But money does
the talking that is listened to.-Kansas
City Journal
An enthusiastic Washington aero
naut declares the "airship will not
down." We were under the impress
sion that was all it would do.-De-
troit Free Press.
A Western man committed suicide
this week because he could not guide
his automobile. Most men guiding au-
tomobiles prefer to commit homicide.
Atlanta Journal
"Cortelyou is good clean man, but
he is no chicken" says the Boston
Herald. Shall we infer that good,
clean men usually are poultry?---
Kansas City Journal
Taking an interest in the solution
of problems of political economy" is
likely to become historical as
euphemism for banging the trusts"
Boston Transcript.
The agricultural papers are gloating
over the discovery of a stingless bee.
But that's nothing. Stingless bees are
common-to every campaign year
Los Angeles Daily Times.
Sir Thomas Upton is charged with
using American hogs for the H1nufac-
ture of his Irish bacon" Just insists
upon giving his customers better than
they ask.-Washington Post
The Academy of Medicine at Paris
has decided that excessive meat eating
causes appendicitis. 1t does more. 1t
causes emaciatlon of the pocketbook
and bankruptcy. -Omaha Bee.
The success of former Minister
Wu's son in carrying Off all the honors
in school gives a hint, perhaps, why
we bar the Chinese immigrants so
strictly Philadelphia Ledger.
Because man lighted a cigar with
$40 bill in Kansas City peace Off
Ger promptly arrested him upon
charge of burglary. Wise guys, the
police, in that city.--Los Angeles Elk
press.
The newspaper correspondent who
was captured by the Russians at Port
Arthur is now furnishing vivid dc
scription of what he saw while he was
blindfolded in a dungeon. Washing
ton Post
Mr.. ]. Pierpont Morgan Is reported
enjoying himself in London, and con
graduating himself on escaping the
vigilance of the English newspaper
men That's dead easy.-ros Angeles
Express.
An Augusta man is suing the city
directory company over there for dam
ages because the directory listed him
as a colored man. Very naturally he
objects to being blacklisted Atlanta
Constitution.
The Japs in Tokyo are giving thanks
to the gods for the japanese victories;
but from this distance 1t looks very
much as if the men in the field have
had something to do with them.--LOS
Angeles Times.
And yet they say the wicked people
who bet on horse races continue to get
prompt news from the race tracks,
same as before the wires were cut.
This is perslstently wicked world
Boston Herald.
In popular language, an automobile
Is a ''red devil" What will be the
collOqulal term applied to the dirigible
airships that will soon pillow the can
opy around St Louis?-St Louis
Globe Democrat
The Russians claim that they are
having run Of very bad luck. Those
aho have watched them get away
from the japanese think that they are
also having every other kind Of run.
Atlanta Journal
Profit Dowie prefers luxurious rest
in his paIatial summer home overlook
ing Lake Michigan to sprinting
matches around the world in the dog
days. We see where he is WISE
Atlanta Constitution.
A Kansas City court has decided
that kissing in public constitutes a
breach Of the peace What sort OF
crime is that Of the man who kisses
and tells? 1t ought to rank with man
misunderstanding Sun.
That renowned engine that drew the
Worlds Fair express 50 many years
ago, and smashed the records in doing
It. now hauls an humble milk trnfr.
To such base uses may even imam. nat,
things come at last.-Cleyeland Pain
dealer