davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
"Just as Good"

From the Chicago Tribune.
James Chargem was a druggist man
Who practiced substitution;
There was no salve for mole or tan,
You might desire, but that he could
Convincingly decry it.
Then show you Something Just as
good
And talk until you'd buy it.
His nature, as regards finance,
Vast positively stingy-
But you might see that at a glance
His drug store was so dingy
One day his good wife teiephoned:
please take me auto riding"
James Chargem tore his hair, and
Her spendthrift notion Gliding.
But, no, she would not be denied;
On that ride she insisted;
His protestations she defied.
And, womanlike, insisted,
Until-just as she knew he would
He said: We'll, if I've got to,
I'll give you something just as good
If 1 can't hire an auto"
Now mark the crafty mans design
In making the proviso.
He vowed: my dear. l found no sign
of autos" (Would you lie SOP
Then when his poor wife understood
She grew full sad and fearful.
He laughed: Here's something just
as good.
My dear, please be more cheerful
And, then, to her intense surprise.
Some dust he took and threw it
So that 1t filled her hair and eyes.
There! That's the way to do It'll"
He cried, and footed on a horn,
And recommended the hurting
OF dust, and chuckled in his scorn
OF her bewildered whirling.
He made her sniff at gasolene
Until she fell to sneezing.
The finest auto ever seem"
He roared, lis not more pleasing.
And now We'll have the final crash
of autos-it is their way
Then, with an unexpected dash.
He threw her down the stairway.
MY dear" he called out, from the
ton.
IF you think you've not tested
The autos dust and scent and fiop
I'll go have you arrested,
For automobilists declare
Their pleasures all diminish
Unless they get chance to swear
In court rooms as a finish!"
A month succeeding this affair
James Chargem was defendant;
His wife sat in the plaintiffs chair,
Her lawyer for attendant,
And when his honor understood
Her husbands parsimony.
He ruled: Take something Just as
good.
And that is alimony."
w. D. N.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
BRIGHT BITS.

"A Political Version-The machine
will never run with the graft that is
paSt.-Puck.
Latest Christmas Novelty. -
please, mother says, can you let her
ave a 'arf ounce of this ere Radium
she ave read so much about in the
papers? Punch.
First Baltimorean-'I see there is
a man from York looking for site for
a cigar factory Second Baltimorean
That's easy. Why doesn't he locate
Mrs. Wigg's Cabbage Patch ?"-Bal-
tinore News.
II say, old man, where did you get
this cigar" That's one of box I
purchased on the quiet from a SNUG
gler," replied Brown. "Ah, see!" re-
Joined Jones. HE struggled them
past the health officers. Chicago
Daily News.
We had known each other slight
ly,'' said Miss Envy Waite, but never
to speak to until one day while out
skating. 1 fell down quite near him,
and" "Ah! yes" replied Miss Pep
prey, that broke the ice, of course"
Philadelphia Press.
What do you consider really bad
wreck?" asked the sarcastic reporter,
who had been vainly trying to get
some informa ton. That depends"
replied the honest railway official, ION
whether it takes place on our line or
on some other."'-Chicago Evening
Post
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
A Feat of strength.

1t was a most peculiar case, so the
insurancemen said, with wags of the
head that meant much more than they
might easily be induced to say. with a
little more provocation, says the Bal
timore American.
The building had been destroyed by
fire, and its occupant, one Theodore
Titewad, testified that he had held the
office safe suspended from a window
until the tiremen had come to his re-
lief.
The attorney for the insurance COM
panies who were contesting the claim
on the building looked scornfully at
Theodore, and the following crOss-ex-
animation took place:
Mr.. Titewad, will you kindly tell
the jury what your approximate
weight is?''
about 10 pounds"
Have you ever been known as an
athlete?"
mo, sir"
Have you ever before performed
any noteworthy feats of strength?'
mo, SIR"
very well, sir.
"Now, what is the weight of the
safe you claim to have held suspend
ed from the second-story window for
assisted"
"One tom"
THAT will do. The witness may step
aside, and Fireman O'Rourke will take
the stand. All, Mr.. Rourke, will you
tell the jury whether Mr.. Titewad
performed this feat of strength he has
just sworn tor"
Sure, sor. it weren't in his fate, but
in his hands that tn stringth were,
sor."
Il mean did he hold this safe as he
says he did?"
''Yis, SIR"
What"
"Yis, sor. Yez see, sor, yes don't
know Misther Titewad loike tn rist
av us does, or yez wuddent be sur
prised. Yez see, tn sa-afe had money
in it, an Titewad was niver knowed
t lit go av anything thot had
money in it, sir"
Seeing that they were defeated by
overwhelming evidence, the insurance
companies at once arranged for the
payment of the claim in full.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
THE CITY BADLY SERVED.

In his annual report the director of
public works complains that neither
the contract which the city has with
the Savannah Electric Company nor
the contract it has with the Southern
Asphalt Paving Company is complied
with. There is much complaint of
the lights and of the asphalt pave
ments. 1t seems from the report that
the city has tried to get the asphalt
company to keep the streets In repair
by Withholding the money due under
the contract but thus far its efforts
for better service have not been pro-
ductive of satisfactory. results. AS for
the city lights, it is stated that the
electric company has promised to i'm
prove them, but hasn't kept the prom
Use. The director sees 40 other way
to bring about a better condition of
affairs than for the city to own it's
own lighting and asphalt plants.
1t is evident that the city ought to
do something to compel the companies
which have undertaken to render 1T
certain services to comply with their
ready to pay its obligations it ought
not to tolerate the shortcomings of
those who are inclined to give it less
than what it pays for. There ought
to be some way found to compel COM
pliance with contracts.
We do not know whether or not it
is possible for the city to get asphalt,
but If it is, it is safe statement that
it could keep the asphalt streets in
repair for a much less sum than it
now pays the Southern Asphalt Paw
ing Company. Even If the cost under
city management were as great as it
is now there would be great advan-
tage in having the streets in good con-
dition all the time.
At present the streets are repaired
but twice a year. Within a short time
after they are repaired new holes APP
pear, and for many weeks before the
time for repairing them again they are
in a very dilapidated condition. AS a
matter of fact some of the asphalted
streets should be resurfaced, because
the asphalt, except where it has been
patched, is practically rotten. Doubt
less the director of public works will
soon be prepared to submit to Council
some facts showing whether or not a
monopoly controls all of the asphalt
and sells it only to paving companies.
and what the cost to the city would
be of doing its own repairing of its
asphalt streets. With such information
the Council would be in a position to
decide whether or not to do it's own
! repairing.
And the same course ought to be
taken in respect to the city lights. The
director of public works is of the opin-
ion that an electric lighting plant
could be run in connection with the
waterworks plant that would give the
city better service at less cost. This
is matter that ought to be given
careful consideration. 1t isn't difficult
to get the figures showing the cost of
an electric lighting plant and also of
maintaining it.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
----------s-~<s-e
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Admission (Ala.) Hot Blast
(Dem.) says: Zone of the great ques-
lions now agitating the country is
about the employment of labor to COM
plete the Panama canal. 1t is estimat-
ed that 1t will take $4,000 men eight
years to do the work. The Southern
negro is perhaps the most suited to the
climate"
The Norfolk (va.) Landmark (Dem.) }
says: They say that Mr.. Olney re-
vived the Cleveland boom at the Nc
Clellan dinner in New York. Well.
IL it is to be a question between let
ting the anti-third-term precedent go
and swallowing the Rooseveltian pre-
cedent of unscrupulousness and brutal
ity in our foreign policy, we say, Let
the anti-third- precedent go. And
the American people would be very
apt to say the same.
The Washington Post (Ind.) says:
LAS we see it. the construction of a
canal-whether in Panama or Nicara-
gua-will be materially FASTENED by a
defeat of the treaty now before the
Senate. 1t seems to us that as the
matter stands, the Spooner law has
been violated, and that the treasury
will have no lawful authority to release
the appropriation, even though the
Loomis-Varilla convention should be
ratified. Such action would not ex-
pedite, but would simply delay the
desired contamination. The enaction
of an entirely new and different law
will be necessary if we are to have a
canal in Panama. under existing con-
ditions. There is great hurrah for
our delight and edihcation, but if a
canal is what we really want, there
must needs be a REIMBURSEMENT Of the
situation"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
THE GEORGIA BUILDING.

We have no doubt that the commits
sion chosen to raise the money neces-
sary for the construction of a Geor-
gia building at the ST. Louis Fair will
be successful in getting the required
amount namely, $4,000. but it is no
ticeable that town councils and boards
Of county commissioners are not act
ing with the promptness that was
expected Indeed. the commissioners
of very few of the counties have acted
as yet.
We assume that the commission is
doing all it can to secure prompt ac-
ton. 1t is certain that Mr.. Washing
ton, its chairman, has been as active
in the matter as he could be expected
to be.
All of the towns and counties ought
to lend a helping hand in this mat
ter; all of them are interested. The
advertisement which the building will
give the state will be of benefit to all
of them. 1t may be that some of
the counties do not intend to make
contribution to the fund. 1t is to be
hoped that if any of them have such
an intention they will give the matter
further consideration, and decide to
contribute something, even though the
amount they feel able to give is small.
AS already stated, Gov. Terrell has
announced that Liberty Hail." the
home of Alexander H. Stephens, at
Crawfordville, will be taken as a
model for the building. That, doubt
less, is satisfactory to the great ma
jority of the people. Liberty Hall"
isn't a handsome house, but it is a
spacious one. and a building at the
st. Louis Fair like it will have far
more interest for Georgians and other
visitors at the fair than far more
pretentious structure would, because of
its associations.
AS is well known, the building is
not intended to house the exhibit which
the state is to make. That will be
provided for in the various fair build
ings. The Georgia building will have
an exhibit of its own, but it will be
headquarters for Georgians visiting the
fair, and, doubtless, from it will be
distributed Pamphlets showing the ad-
vantages which Georgia offers home
seekers and investors.
The reason why the towns and coun-
ties should act promptly is that the
fair will be opened in the very near
future and the Georgia building ought
to be opened at the same time the
fair is.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
A Future Congressman.

Representative Burnett, of Alabama,
has small son who is beginning to
cut a swath in the social life of the
national capital, says the Washington
Post. The boy remained here during
the Christmas holidays, and in one
week went to two receptions, one
given by Mrs. Roosevelt at the White
House for children, and the other at
the home of his school teacher.
What kind of "a time did you have
at the White House?" asked Mr..
Burnett, when he returned from Ala
bama-
'Oh, pretty fair answered the young
hopeful, but I had lot more fun at
teachers"
"Why?" the father asked.
We'll, they didn't play any kissing
games at the White House. and they
did at teachers"
THAT boy was cut out for Con-
gresham" declared his proud parent.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

The New York Press has circum-
stantial story from Washington to the
effect that John d. Rockefeller and
those who are financially interested
with him are behind the Hanna boom
for the Republican presidential nomi-
nation. According to this story the
Rockefeller syndicate will put up a
fund of $1O.OOO.OOO for Hannas candi-
dacy in the event of his nomination.
Several Western newspapers are alleged
to be attached to the Rockefeller
Hanna boom. The story. however, is
palpably a Roosevelt boost. If it is
found possible to create the idea in
the public mind that Rockefeller and
his folliwng are opposed to Roosevelt,
it will serve to strengthen him with
the masses.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
THE MORNING NEWS is published

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THE MORNING NEWS, by mail,
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mail one year. $1,oO.
Subscriptions payable in advance,
Remit by morley order check or reg
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at risk of sender.
Transient advertise ments, other than
local or reading notices, amusements
and classified column, 10 cents line.
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal
to one insh in depths the standard
of measurement. Classified column ad-
vertisements. l cent a word each inser-
ton. Every wcrd and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less
than Is cents week days, 25 cents
Sundays. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at bust
ness Office.
orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place of
business can be made by mail or by
telephone No. 210. Any irregularity in
delivery should be Immediately re-
ported.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savan-
nah, Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row.
New York City, II. C. Faulkner, Man
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
lADEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Special Notices-Neither Too Hot
Nor Too Cold, The De Soto Hotel;
The Best Of Meats, at Joyce's; The
Best, at NJ. S. Gardeners; Ship No
tice, Strachan & Co., Agents. Notice,
]. w. Fretwelrs Sons; Ad. Writer
Wants Contracts.
Business Notices-They Are Here, G..
w. Thomas; Sommers' Cafe. Union
Station; Fresh Candled Tennessee Eggs,
A. NJ. & c. w. West.
The Great And Only Mill and Fac
tory Sale-Leopold Adler.
Half-price Sale in Our Ladies' De-
partment-B. H. Levy &c Bro.
Sweets-The Delmonico Co.
Stoves and Ranges-at Lattimore's.
Warburines-At Rowlinski's.
Schlitz Beer-Henry Solomon & Son.
PubIications-The Delineator For
February.
Heals And Hardens The Gums
CANDLES Tooth Powder.
Petition for Incorporation-The Stew
art Investment Company.
Savannah Theater-"Humpty Dump
ty Doodle" Matinee To-day; "A Sleep
ing City" Tonight
The Bath Brush-Solomons & Co.
Auction-Allen Bros.
Best Values Ever offered in Savan-
nah-The Metropolitan Co.
To Shippers-A. Ehrlich &c Bro.
MediCal-Herpicide.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted, Employment Wanted, For
Rent, For Sale, Lost, Personal. Mis-
cellaneous.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
A BALD NEWSPAPER MAN.
Getting New Crop of Hair, ana h"'
No More Dandruff.

Everybody in the Northwest Kho IT,.
Col. Daniel Searles, the veteran 10 "a
nalist and publicist of Butte. Jan
1900, the Colonel writes: uSeu ,i.
couple of bottles of Newbro's he rRbe
eide with marvellous results. If
dandruff disappeared, new cI S Psoot
hair has taken root, and the baIu iopide
is rapidly being covered. Herp Ills
is the only hair preparation that the
the dandruff germ that digs up nov
scalp in scales as it burrows its w ds,
to the root of the hair, where II IaI u
stroys the vitality of the hair; c@ me
ing the hair to fall out KIN Sid
dandruff germ with Herpicide' ,oc Ia
by leading druggists. SEND lUtIciA0
stamps for sample to The Help'
Co.. Detroit, Mich. rDecia
Agents.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

The production of gold in the United
States during the past year, it is esti-
mated. will show a falling off Of APP
proximately $6,OOO,OOO, as compared with
1902. Nearly all of this loss occurred
in Colorado, where there has been a
strike Of miners for some time. The
output of Alaska, also, shows a slight
falling-off, and the production Of Cali
fornia was not so large as in 1902.
The total production for the country
in 1908 is estimated at a little more
than $74, 900, against about $50, OOO.-
900 in 1902.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

The open air cure for consumption
is being put to severe test in Con-
necticut. The other night, when the
mercury marked 80 degrees below zero
at Meridian, Miss Flint and Mrs Ais
worth slept on the verandas of their
homes with only such protection of
bed clothing as they would have used
inside the house. Both have been
sleeping in the open air for some
months, and each claims that she has
been greatly benefited thereby
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

If all of the good things that are
being said about Japan were true,
there could be no more delightful place
of residence on earth. The Philadel-
phia Ledger, for instance, says: when
we marvel at the statement that there
are no bad and undutiful children in
Japan, we cease to wonder when we
hear that there are no harsh and I'M
kind parents" The civilization of ia
pan is very attractive, at distance of
some thousands of miles; but we do
not believe the people of this country
would care to swap.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

A current Washington joke turns on
the fact that Western man wrote to
his congressman that he wished to
attend ''one of the Presidents melees,"
when "levee" instead of melee" was
the word he wanted. But, all things
considered, was it so much of a joke,
after all?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

The Chinese do not make good SOL
Aiors, it is said, because their religion
teaches them that war is barbarism,
and that the profession of arms is I'M
dignified and beneath their notice. In
China the soldier is regarded with
contempt and has the lowest place in
the whole social scale with the excep-
tion of the criminal. The army, as a
matter Of fact is largely recruited
from the criminal classes. The Off
cials who have undertaken to reform
the army will have much prejudice to
overcome before they can produce a
really effective fighting machine
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

a short road to fortune: Write a
popular piece of music. 1t is said that
the ownership Of "Bedelia," the pres
ent musical craze, was the other day
listed at a, valuation of $4,000 in a
consolidation of music houses in Bos-
ton.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

A contemporary expresses the opin-
ion that those English-speaking CORE
spondents who are hurrying to the Far
East in anticipation of war will be Sc
riously handicapped if they under
stand neither Russian nor Japanese.
But that is not necessarily the case.
The leading officers of both the Rus
sian and japanese armies speak Eng
lish. as we'll as their own languages s;
besides which the fighting will not be
in either Russian or Japanese. If an
English-speaking correspondent sees a
battle fought or a fleet sunk he will
not need an interpreter to tell him
what has happened.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

Both Japan and Russia must take
heap of comfort from the announce
ment that, in the event of hostilities
between them, Fighting Bob" will
preserve strict neutrality.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

The war ration of the Japanese army
and navy consists principally of rice
and dried fish. 1t is denied that the
japanese government has placed large
orders for canned beef with Western
packing house. The Jap fighters, 1t
is said, would not care for beef if they
had it, depending mainly on rice.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

There is no such organization as the
Sons or Daughters of the Revolution
in Hayti or San Domingo. Everybody
in either country would be eligible to
membership in such an organization
and there would be no exclusiveness
about it.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

reward has been offered for the
lost manuscript of Ii Hung Changes
autobiography. Let every man skin
tea chest and try for the prize.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

Japan has been itching for fight
with some big power ever since her
war with China 1t looks now as If she
would be gratified.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

The Chicago hotel keepers are going
to give the Republican National Con-
vention an illustration of a high tariff
policy.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

If Japan and Russia could hit upon
some plan by which Corea could be
made to remain half Russian and half
Japanese, there might be a reasonable
hope for peace. A solution of the
problem might be to let the country
be all Corean, but neither of the con-
testants seems to favor any such idea.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

DR.. A. A. Ames, who as Mayor of
the most corrupt of American munich
pal executives, and who is under sem
tence of six years in the penitentiary
for participation in the systematic rob-
berry of the city, has turned author. He
is writing a book on graft" He ought
to be able to throw a lot of personal
feeling into it.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09
The weather,

The indications FOR Georgia for to-
day are for fair weather. with fresh
west winds. Eastern Florida fair
weather, with light variable winds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

a wireless message from an appa-
ratusless and operatorless ship would
seem to beat even Marconfs genius,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

Mr.. Bryan will arrive at home in
ample time to throw rocks at any
presidential boom that does not meet
with his approval.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

1t cannot be doubted that Mr.
Charles NJ. Schwab has the nerve of
his wealth.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

Nathan Perry Beers, for sixty-six
years a teacher in the public schools
of New York, has just retired. Dur
ing his entire career he never admin
istered corporal punishment to a pupil.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-09

According to the figures Of the Manu-
facturer's Record. the announced addi-
tions to Southern cotton mills in 1908
amounted to 317,s20 spindles and 1858
looms, representing an investment of
about $16,OOO,OOO. This, in face of the
unfavorable conditions for new cotton
mill construction during the past few
months, is very good evidence of the
commanding position the South occu-
pies in the cotton manufacturing field.