The National tribune., 1904-05-05
HUM02S OF THE POSTAL SERVICE.
Cleans of Fun that Occasionally Brighten Monoonous Routine
of Official Duties.
By CAPT HENRY A. CASTLE.

hour by Incidents which reveal human M
ture in many of its most pathetic, as wei
as IN its irresistibdy hdicrous phases. Thcs
experiences touch the public mt so man,
points and reach al! classes of possible an,
| impossible people. AS the weary edito
deluged with unwlcome Contributions il
subject to the distress and contagion of al
varieties of literary rubbish, from slusl
and gush prose to kiss and bliss poetry
so the patient post Office employee is oblige,
to confront every possible and impos
sible sample of human idiosyncrasy, unit
life ceases to hold for him any further il
lusions as to the approach of millennium
If, amid the annoyances 10 which he i,
subject all occasional CLEAN of merrimen
flames out, there is some compensation 70.
the hardships of his lot, as Ire walks tn,
towpath of destiny. The smallest post OF
flee Is sometimes the scene of genuine dro
leres: even the sacred sanctuary OF thu
Department is now and then subject Il
to their dignity destroying intrusions
There is no corner they do not penc,ra lie
- ovERwoRKED SMILES
10 some persons it is a mystery VIII,
present-day writer's stick religiously t,
time eaten expressions. For example Ssh,
Trojan Her eyes were as bright a,
the stars and so through q long list o.
them. What would l suggest: Think thes,
over:
She was as fair as the st. Louis ex
position
For 10 long years he worked like {
quart OF yeast on Labor DAY."
lie looked as tired as q wagon wheel
"She was charming. Her eyes were a.
bright as Familyman's 4-year-eld boy"
HE hurried down the street like an in
dustrious trOlley-car."
1.-The day dawned as cold as Bristow
report on extra clerk hire for Congress
men," -.
RURAL CARRIERS SIDE LINES.
One stcrekeeper in Iowa, where the rura
routes are so thick that a map of then
makes the. State look like huge spider,
web, wrote to inform the Postmaster-Gen
eral that the rural carrier in his neighbor
hood had made him close up because h,
could not compete with "a general store
on wheels and moving inrthree sections ,
According to his letter the carrier in
question went out on his route, followed BY
three wagons, containing everything that
would likely be needed in farm house on
short notice. Sometimes he even forgets
to take the mail along, he's so busy" the
storekeeper complained, land am think
ing about moving into another County and
getting route myself, so as to make O
living"
CoNGRESsMAN's VIEW OF BRIsTOw's RE
PORT.
| do not love thee half SO we'll
AS in the days of yore;
But what has changed me? Who can tell
What makes Ine feel so sore?
Yet once. alas. loved thee so.
My Sherlock Holmes, my Kansas Joe. -
1t is not that thy beauty, dear, -
Has faded from thy face;
1t is not that thy gentle hand
Has lost it's catching grace.
An, no, not these, my long, CANT Joe,
Now makes me love thee less. All, no!
When thou dilst; with thy ma lied hand,
-, Grab grafters from their fostering nest
The weikin rang throughout the land
All, then. I'm sure / loved thee best
But now when thou prickst ME like -
/ find l love thee not SO we'll.
LIFE At THE STAMP WINDOW.
'D'ye sell stamps here?" he inquired.
We dc" replied the clerk. Ones, twos
fves and tens
what's that?"
Il asked you what price you want" re-
marked the clerk. s...
well. ell, l wud like ter have a cheau
one," said the 1rishman. "Somethin' not
over 30 cents. Of course, me name comes
with it.
You mean rubber stamps!' asked the
clerk.
"Sartinly," said the stranger. "Thim
kind that says Paid for stampin' bills. >
You'll get them down Fulton Street
way" explained the clerk.
"Boss," said the next man in line. inca
let from Sicily geta home to-mor' if to-day
l post"
NO" said the clerk, YEARLY; sit takes
more'n week for a letter to reach Italy
excuse me. Sir" said well-dressed
woman, brushing the Italian aside, "bu,
| want p two-cent stamps"
"Fifty-four cents" said the cleark, hand
ing out the stamps.
"Gracious me.' exclaimed the woman
examining her purse Il only have sc
four. I'll be down this way some time
next week and pay you"
"Cncle Sam don't trust" answered the
clerk. why not take % stamps?"
"But have - eucher notices to mail.
replied the woman. II must mail them this
afternoon
Well" said the clerk, you can buy 2:
d
corner drug store"
"I'll do nothing of the kind" remarked
the woman, picking up her half dollar ant
putting it back in her purse. 'If you're
not willing to trust me a few cents. why
I'll buy all the stamps at the druggists"
Then she swept away with majestic
stride, evidently thinking that she got the
better of Uncle Sam.
"Ten fives. 20 twos and four special de-
liveries." shouted a messenger boy, who
slapped down $1.3O and picked up the
stamps, which were quickly passed over
to him.
"That's the sort of people / like to wait
on" said the stamp clerk. "Those boys
are less -ouble than any other persons who
call at the window. They ask no questions
don't keep the line back and just get what
they want in short order
"But the women! Why. some call here
to inquire about their husbands. asking me
whether / saw sncln and such a man talk
ing in the corridor to strange female
Yesterday man came up and asked fol
a quarters worth Of cigars, and seemed sur
Drised that l had none for sale.
"He declared that he had travelled in
various towns in the United States. and
had always been in the habit Of buying his
cigars in the post Office"
APOLOGIES For POSTAL PATRONAGE.
A literary gentleman from America. tenn
Mann r;i,, roc;dipO i'm EurOne saws. 81 mi