Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-02-29

How he Is known: Wife-Before
marriage man Is known by the COM
pany he keeps. Husband-And after
Wife-By the clothes his wife wears.
Town Topics.
GoOdman-Do you ever think Of the
good old saying that It's more blessed
to give than to receive? Pugsley--.
Yes. when I've got the boxing gloves
OH l do.--Vogue.
Coming around: Mrs. Caffrey--
And how is that pretty young widow ?
Is she recoalciled to her loss yet? Mrs.
Malaprop-No. she amt exactly rec
Onciled yet, but they do say she's got
the man picked OUTFIT Bits
Juvenile reasoning: sammy Going
to move soon, Tommy? Tommy-Yes.
Sammy-HOw do you know? Tom
my-Ah! How do | know! Didn't
me mother lemme break a winder
tother day and didn't say nothin' =
Tit Bits.
The doctors orders: Dedelia-Phat
are yez doin takin the lock off the
cupboard dure. Pat? Are yez crazy
Pat-NO, darlint: tn dochtor tould me
to-day that must quit boltin' me
f0Od--and I'm goin' to obey insthrus-
tions.-Cincinnati Times Star.
Mother-Why don't you behave bet
ter to your teacher: Tommy-Why,
I'm as kind to her as | kin be. Moth
er-YOu are? Tommy-ies'm. Ev-
cry time she licks me cry rs loud as
| kin SOS to make her believe she's
hurtin' me.--Philadelphla Ledger.
Hardupp--I tried to sell those dia
monds l bought Of you. and was told
they were not genuine. Jeweler---
Did you sell them? Hardupp-Yes for
almost nothing. Jeweler-Well you 20
back and try to buy them. and you
will find out that they are genuine.
Exchange.
Rosale-Have you chosen any of
your bridesmaids yet! May-Yes--
Fanny Lyon. Rosalie--Why,
thought you hated her? May--No.
not exactly; but the bridesmaids are
to wear yellow, and you can imagine
how that will go with Fanny's com.
plexion.--Bazar.
First Impressions: 1.-The first time
saw you l thought how lucky
should be il could induce that de
licious little angel to be my wife
And what did you thnkY II thought,
oh! dear me! wonder II shall
ever have to marry such a homeIy
looking man as that" Puck.
He had promised; The fair bride
wept copiOusly. "BoO-hOO!' she
screamed; you are mean old thing
so there! You didn't eat one Of my
biscuits" But, darling" There
Is no excuse, sir! Didn't you tell ME
when you married me-boo- hoo! that
you would die for me:'-Baltimore
News.
Obviously: Benevolent old gentle
man-DOn't you think fishing a cruel
sport? Fisherman-I should just
think it was. I've been sitting here
five hours and never had a single bite
and I've got three wasp stings. and
been eaten mp with flies, and the sun s
taken all the skin off the back of my
neck!-Pick- MeCp.
A preacher at the conclusion Of one
Of bis sermons said: LET all In the
house who are paying their debts
stand up" Instantly every man. wo-
man and child with one exception
arose to their feet The preacher
seated them and said: Now every
man not paying his debts stand up. =
The exception nOted,a carewOrn, hun
last summers suit. slowly assumed
a perpendicular position. How Is it.
my friend" asked the minister. that
you are the only man not to meet his
obligations?" Il run a newspaper, II
he meekly answered, land the breth
rem here who just stood up are my
subscribers, and" Let us pray,
exclaimed the minister-Joplin News.
Herald.
There ie more Catsrrn IN TINS section Of IN,
incurable. For . great many years doctors pro
uOunCeQ IL . local olb0asc, ana preBCHlOoO lOcS
remedies, and by constantly failing to curt
with local treatment, pronounced II fncurable
Science has proven catArrh to DO Q coustitu
tional disease, and therefore requires constitu
!ional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure, man
ufactured by F. J. Cheney d Co, Toledo, Ohio
10 the only constitutional cure on the market
1t 10 taken internally in doses from 10 drops Il
teaspoonful. It acts directly On the bloot
and mucous surfaces of the system. They offel
one hundred dollars for any case II fails T.
cure. Send for circulars and testimonials. Al
iress, FL. CHENEY CO., Toledo. o.
Sold BY Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Others All Sold.
Mrs. Hauskeep-l want doZel
eggs, if you're sure they're fresh.
Dealer-Oh, you can be sure They're
fresh, ma'am; we haven't any Of thu
other kind this morning.
Mrs Hauskeep-No?
Dealer-No'm. You see there wal
an Uncle Toms Cabin show In thu
opera house next door last night
Philadelphia Press.
Lenxthening His Days.
Uncle George-Don't you know 20,
are killing yourself staying up till mid