Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-09-21

It's something L don't know
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Binks-They say that Bishop Potter's
model saloon is lowdown place.
Jinks-W Wonder if that's why they call
it the SubWay.-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
Mrs, Jones-Tell me, dear, why you
named your daughter Arabella?
Mrs. Brown-Because Mr. Brown
wanted to name her something else.-Bos-
ton Transcript
officers in public libraries to erase all bet
ting information from the evening papers.
Hence the phrase, "Ofciui Scratchings."
London Punch.
End of Mary
Mary had a little oil
TO help the fire to mount
And everywhere that Mary went
Would be quite hard to count.
New York Times.
"-And are they really so rich?'
We'll, they can afford the three C's.''
What three Cs?"
chauffeur, connoisseur and chef.
Minneapolis Times.
Harker--I see they are advertising au-
tomobiles that can climb mountains.
Barker-That's nothing. [ had one
that tried to run up the side of the house.
Baltimore Herald.
Neutrality-suspicious. is a great teach
en-. sure enough.
Wise-Yes, but the average man never
lives long enough to graduate in that
school Philadelphia Ledger
Noggs-AIy little girl is > years old and
cannot talk yet.
Beggs-Don't be alarmed. My wife
was 3 years old before she could say
word, and STRAY Stories.
Hiller-So you think Mrs. Styles is no
sort of cook? Have you ever eaten
anything of her cooking?
Lane-No, but | know she is always
reading cook books.-Boston Transcript
Got the Title.
He married for title
But you must understand
He specified as vital
The title to her land.
Little Willie-Say, pa, is the pen
mightier than the sword?
Pa-SO some people claim, my son.
Little Willie-Then why don't the Rus
slams arm themselves with fountain pens !?
Minneapolis Times.
The cable dispatches say that the
Bey of Tunis went to Paris and was
filled with enthusiasm
L obtained the same result replied
Soakly, "by just spending few hours
downtown. Detroit Free Press.
h: Al
a dime Honest, | hain't had a drink fer
tree days.
Col. Nosepaint deeply moved)-My
poor man. Hens the money: but don't
20 and squandah it TO food. -Judge.
Autumn.
Hark! Hark. The dogs do bark
The frankfurter's coming to town;
Not in rags and not in tags.
But all in a skin-tight gown.
New York Times
First Spellbinder-I understand that
Gassalong's audience was simply carried
away.
Second Spellbinder-Yes; he was
speaking on steamboat and it pulled
| out before they could get ashore.-Hous-
ton Chronicle.
He was a man they had both met at
different times.
And what did you say he was?"
asked the one.
a taxidermist," answered the other.
OH was the rejoinder. Il always
took him for European. '-London
Judy.
The COW had just jumped over the
moon.
You see,'' she explained, 1.-The honest
farmer was about to tie me to the rail
road track"
(! In her simple bovine fashion she
chuckled over the damages he had lost
! New York Sun.
Green-My wife sent 81 in answer to
an advertisement of sure method of
getting rid of superHuous fat.
Brown-And did she get the desired in
| formation?
her to sell it to the soap man.-Kenne-
bee (Me.) Journal.
t'Of course" said the legislator, ''the
arguments offered by the bills opponents
were good, but those of its supporters
We're BETTER
How much better?' asked the plain
citizen.
WELL at least a thousand dollars -
Philadelphia Ledger.
Wasn't that young Sapington 1 saw
Marian Fisher out with this evening!
What on earth did she go out with him
for?''
Why not? Haven't you heard of the
fortune his uncle left him?''
"Oh. [ see, she's simply out to get the
heir. p Philadelphia Press
Mrs. Suburb don't see what's the
matter with out hens. They don't lay
at all.
Farmer Meadow-You don't feed 'em
right, mum. just you give 'em about
- worth of corn every week, and they'll
lay you a dollars worth of eggs every
seven days.-New York Weekly.
IF Crabbe ever comes around your
place. borrowing anything said Sub
bulbs, don't let him have it,
You've spoken too Late replied New
conner; The was around this morning.
You're easy. What was he borrow
ing?"