The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-01-02
STICK RIGHT TO
YOUR OWN GAME
DON'T BUCK THE OTHER MANS,
SAYS PARETIC NO. So.
Tale of the Drunken Stranger and
the Illinois Rubes An Impromptu
Footrace- Comtry Sports Backed
Off the Boards in Short Order:

Whenever I hear of the arrest of a
get-rich-quick man, a fake fighter, a
footracer, a big-mitt artist, or any Of
that craft" said Paretic No. 33, at the
weekly meeting of the Paresis club, II
get weary. If you want to keep the
dear public from handing it's hard
earned gelt out to the esay-money
gentlemen, don't bother prosecuting
anybody. Form Society for the
Enlightenment Of Easy Suckers, and
educate the grangers and lambs up to
knowledge of the fact that when they
find that the other fellow is on the
same lay, only that he understands 1t
better.
81 never had any time for the man
who hollers to the harness bulls after
he's lost his money on the bank, and
haven't any more for the guy that
squeals after he's lost on a fixed foot
race, or prize fight, or to a bunco man.
Nine cases out Of ten he was trying to
do the other fellow and got left, and
the other time he deserves-to lose for
going up against another mans game.
Eight or ten years ago I was at a
little jerkwater place in Illinois; one
Of those places where two railroads
cross. I didn't want to stop there, but
l. had been in Chicago for few weeks
and had gone up against some people
that knew more about my own game
than did. Result, started back to
Cincinnati on the thru freight.
didn't intend to stop off at this town;
in. fact, didn't stop there. I got off
reached it, after an argument with the
brakeman whether should pay to
ride or not, and I walked into town to
get something to eat and wait for the
next freight.
oot1 Inv,
modest one, for had only the draw Of
three dollar touch in my jeans. and
didn't know how many more brake
men might win arguments with me
before I got to Cincinnati rambled
into a saloon where a big young fellow
was drinking booze and playing pool
with the marker. Incidentally the
young fellow was furnishing entertain
ment for a crowd of rubes, for he was
getting drunk. There wasn't any stall
about it, because he was drinking his
booze straight, =, -.dngman's size, and
Of course it was I'D booze:
/ The young fellow lost half dozen
games, quarter a game, me wishing
all the time could get in, for could
see either Of them would be duck soup
for me. But didn't see any good
chance to butt in, ande finally the
stranger got enough. You could tell
| he was stranger in town, because he
wore collar and a coat, those being
| symbols of the effete east not affected
| by the gentle natives. He settled fol
4 the games, invited everybody in the
house to join him, and remarkeo
1 casually that he wasn't strong at pool
|but he thought he could beat anybody
lin the town in a. hundred-yard sprint
This is where little Willie thought
he s1nelled rat, but it didn't seem as
.Iif there could be any game about It
because the fellow looked too drunk
to run fifty yards at.any pace, let alone
i a hundred for money. But he insisted
he could beat anybody in town fol
4 money marbles or chalk, and calico
them several kinds of adjective SUB
|.stamtive pikers for not producing
Imam to take him on.
All those little towns have at leas
one man that thinks he can run, ant
i the natives finally dug up little rel
low that worked in the one barbe
shop in the place, and who though
he was some on the paths. The barbe
Indicated that he would he wiling U
oblige the stranger ten bones worth
The stranger fished up a bill, and said
Here's my coin. TIL run you out her
on the street, right now
Main street (the only real stree
in the town. in this. place WASH
Broadway in New York, but still tn
barber didn't want 10 gel OUT anu iu
before the entire populace. He sug
gested going over to a little race tracl
about a mile off in the woods but tn
stranger said he'd be adjective-sub
: stantived in six places if he'd walk tina
? far for $40. He'd go to the trac
and race for a hundred a side, or he
} race right then and there on the stree
$ for ten, but he wouldn't go over to tn
track and run for ten, by adjective