The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-03-28
TIE NoNPARRJl MAN

/ THE NONPAREJL MAN
Some OF the Boys Who Wags Clubs on st.
Patrlck's Day at cando, N. D.-Editor 9
Carl Nelson Has Wrlte-up OF the
Irish of ToWner county-story Of En-
NETT Pew, Dwho Was color-bIInd and
Wore an Orange Ribbon on ST. Pat.
rick's Day.
On st. Patrick's Day last, the Cando, N.
D., Democrat had a delightful two-column
writeup OF nearly all the Irishmen in r
ToWner county. Among SO many good
fellows, full Of wit and blarney, there are
Of course many amusing characteristics
and stories. There is Emmett Pew who
Is color blind-absolutely blind as a bat in
colors. Green and yellow look alike to him
and the boys used to hunt him UP,
shower their fondest attentions upon him,
and deck him over with emblems appro-
pirate Of the day. But the ernblems were
usually yellow instead Of green, and En-
NETT never knew the difference until he
would bump UP against some lusty Irish
man who wasn't aware Of the situation.
The compiled lions that were sure to fol-
1 low, proved to be great entertainment for
|
progress OF the little Missourian from their
4 hiding places, ready, however, to sally
! forth in his defense if he should come to
any bodily harm.
er he is Irish or not, is a fine inn
personator of Mr.. Dooley. Mr.. Mahood
| believes the country ought to follow
! Denny Hannaf1n's advice, and trade the
Philippine islands to England for Ireland
so that we could raise our own police
! men.
1 On st. Patrick's Day some of the boys
accused Carl Nelson, editor of the Towner
County. Democrat, OF being Irish, but he
denies It. He says:
4 Some think the writer Of these lines should be
numbered in the list, because he bears striking
resemblance to red-headed Irishman, but he
can't CLAIM, that distinction. We are Norwegian,
and proud of 1t. However, II we were son of
Erin we would feel just as big about It. because
take great deal of pride in claiming his descent
from the emerald isle. +
The list Of the Irish near, Cando, as
Mr.. Nelson sums them up, sounds like the
rafting of shillalehs on heads at fair
time. There's:
The Falahy brothers, the MCGEE brothers, the
Shanleys, the Moylans, George McWilliams, John
McCarty, George Blose (who is part Dutch), the
Reynolds boys George Natter, Alex Scarf, Ed
+ Noyes, Mike Mahon, B. r. Mclaughlin, Jim Stew
art, Archie Currie, Willard Varty, Pat Feeley,
5 the Mulcrones Colemans and McKays, Charley
. A man went into the office Of the News
. at Mortonville, Kan, a few days ago and
announced: I've come to kill a printer"
t.Any printer in PARTICULAR" asked the
foreman. ooh, anyone will do I would
: prefer a small one, but I've got to make
: some sort of a show at fight or leave
: home, since the paper called my wifes
n tea party 'swill affair."
al IN fv> ;1o
e who says he is taking his whisky to cure
: him of the coffee habit
e Those sounds you heard last week must
: have been made by the equi-knocks.
e A Kansas farmer is not Dragging much
! over his score. He has bought three gold
: bricks within five years. That's nothing.
= We bought mining stock three times con-
secutively. But it was a long time ago-in
Is the eighties.
IA Two Of Apostle Smiths wives are sis
y ters whom he married at one ceremony.
it Do you suppose it took double parson
"a power to tie that knot?
'tour greatest glory is not in never fall
e ing" No, 1t is in getting up so quick
% that it makes the sidewalk smoke, while
J. bystanders are uncertain whether you
were merely piCKlng up
Is a $40 bill that some one had dropped.
y The Annandale Advocate, quoting sew
10 eral authorities that ''only one person In
h ten bitten by q mad dog ever has rabies
& and that the chances of injection from a
bite on the hand or other extremities are
,s very rare says:
!, Having been bitten in the face. botf
t. legs, one arm and seat Of the pants, We
II have six more chances to speculate on
,e Mr.. Satterly ought to wear ddgproo,
N panties made out Of stove pipe If he is II
f. the dog belt.
Ill The grounding is out and seen hi.
= shadder.
ae They are working over an old joke tina
r T. fBarnun gave publicity to In 1870
It Is the story of a sickly baby that wa.
US put on 9 diet of elephants milk ant
- gained 239 pounds in one week.
10 OF course it was the elephants babv.
"A Speaking Of the joys of life in the one,
81 country, the Hubbard County Clipper tell
r OF the adventure of Mr. Bemis in eoin.
3. nome last Friday evening t.from his cam,
Is in section e. On the way three full
IN grown wolves got after him and becam
adj SO bold that in jumping at him one o
he the beasts grabbed q gunny sack he ha,
~ slung over his back Mr.. Bemts wa
s. Obliged to walk backward for about
n mile beating the wolves off with a club
al and was very thankful to reach home
He had thought Of sending his son hom
a. on the errand, but Is satisfied since hi
i'll experience with the wolves that the bo
q would never have reached home.
an The Minnesota country is all right as
If. rule, but little place on ST. Adams BAY
e. Minnetenka, where the only wolves Their
it's are are those who run the killyoum obile,
"a is far enough out for us.
ng "A. J. f.
he - -------- - =
GoVERNoRsHlP GOSSIP
Cannon Falls acknowledging from til
unmistakable Collins complexion of tn
ng state convention in Minneapolis last weel
ss-l the Dunn news papers are doing the ''hol
,e- lering'' and the people are doing the vot