davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun., 1904-11-13

punctual man. and be was doubly 20 at early
mass. because his doctor had jnHisted thai
he must have something to eat within an
hour at most after rising. that being the
only way OF overcoming the Erieyoud
pains hat racked him. Therefore,. sseint
only one or two Of his parishioners In theif
places when 1t was time for the miss to
begin, he sent choir boy to find where tho
Others were. g -.
Tho boy retarned quickly, his eyes Ike
sauoers.
"ohl Monsieur lie Cure b.. orisd, ..ths
Devil! he is in the holy water.',s =.
what replied the astonished curA
THE Devil in the holy water!sr, ,t..,.,
just then Mother Marounotte came into
the sacristy. ..- -..-.-r -.
the evil % spi rit.s she oriei sHe t Ia IN ipS ia
holy Hssinl Ring the belIs' SHOW him the
The good man doubted no longer. He
basin. An excited crowd had gathered
around, but as the cure drew near, ittle
Roeette, the sexton's daughter, plucked
timidly at the skirt Of his coat. So,
oh! don't hurt him." she pleaded, hang
ing down her he ad and standing on tiptoe.
She reached into the basin, and grasping
the mysterious animal wrapped 1t warmly
in her apron.
What are you doing?r demanded the
cure severely. DO you not know II IL
the d Evil, my child?' 49,,
aOh, no! It can not be the Devil, the little
CIR. said, trembling in her hashfulness'
1T Is only my. little duck. ,,
Your duck! But why die you put hin
in the holy water?" .."..
Poor Rosette began to cry.
Il did not mean 20 be naughty, Monsieur
le Cure" she sobbed my little duck
was sick, and last Sunday you told US that
the holy water was full OF healing: SO I
brought my little duck TO get we'll
The good cures eyes softened, while his
shoulders shook under his robe.
Very well. little Roeette,' he said gently,
laying his hand on her head. You did not
mean anything wrong, am sure. but the
holy water is not good for ducks and ami
mak. 1t is only for Christians. Rim along
now, It is time for mass" '. -
Rosette, with a little courtesy. ran hap
PLY out Of the door. her duckling In heS
II. L.. :
The sun., 1904-11-13

pened to be with him at the time. He wa.
absolutely psrishin' TO leetle OF the hide
Of the dog whut bit him.
He'd sent his nigger to Harrodsbur &
TO couple Of bottles Of the hide He
was walkin up and down, up and down
me settin' theah with him, my double
barrPd shotgun whut he had handed mes
usual upon my enterin Of the room. standin
handy beside me.
How fab you reckon he is by now?
he asks, meanin' Of the niggah. all the time
walkin' up and down Of the room like some
Gagged lion. DO you reckon he's done got
3 far 3 old man Grimes's?
-Ole man Giimes's is about half way to
town, you remember.
Il reoken he has, says l. consolin 'ly,
my fingah ON the tr1ggah: I reckon he he ..
"Old man Clabe he walks up an down
TO- anothah half houah, then he puts anothah
question.
do you reckon?' he asks, vey wistful,
that he's done got q far e the toll gate by
nowT
The toll gates a mile frum town, yoh
remembah 2" no.
I" reckon he has, says I. still consolin
OF him n still keepin' Of my han on the
triggah. because old man Clabe's eye was
a gittin' mighty wild and theah want
no tellin' whut nigh happ'n.
He walks up and down. up and down,
like ole lion, completely perishin Of his
teible thu'st.
DO you spose.' says he. beginnin' agin
presently. that that theah confounded
niggah has got pas the toll gate YETI
4 spose he has says I, addin' hastily,
as Clabe come putty close to me in his
walkin' up and down, 4 spose he has
"Jee' then ole Clabe he heahd a noise in
the vicinuty Of the stable. He rushes
out the do, me at his heels, because he thinks
to himbeY, 'Theah, now, that theah blamed
niggah he's done come with the whiskey
aftah all, darn his ole black soul and a
thinkin' OF this to hissef he cries out in
stento ian tones:
You Calebr that was the name Of the
niggah, You Caleb. is that you? Have
you done got them theah bottles? Bring
em to me quick, you - but it wouldn't
do to repeat the wuhds he used, in the pre-
senoe OF ladies.
Il had followed ole Clabe. We had got
neahly to the stable when heahd the voice
OF ole Caleb calm back
Law, MATE NldDe, / ain got no Wnlbhey
yet. I amt stahted yet. I couldn' fin'
de bridl TO- de mule
Il hate to tell you whut followed. 1t is
too te'ible but spose mus.
Seems like that theah peace conference
had tak'n all the heart out of ole Clabe.
He nevah wah himsef aftahwahd.
He jes drew his double barrl shotgun
on hssef and shot hissef through the head
with it. Then he fell dead in his tracks
because he couldn' stan to wait anothah
three houahs TO- that theah whiskey.
'Didn' wait to shoot the niggah and the
mule as he would done II It hadn't a bin
TO that theah peace conference. Jes
shot hisse'f.
.oh, yes, Proctor Knott, he'll have a
good deal to answah To- at the bah Of Judg-
ment TO- ohangin' OF the good ole condi-
tions In ouah nativ' Ian. That's all theah
is to that
The sun., 1904-11-13

laik ovah the road. But these same peo
pie t dropped their lanterns they
would be the fust to tell you that Clabt
was perfec' gentleman.
'Clabe he war to say a venomous man
He was justt borough. That was all. II.
would allus stop shootin' when he hac
finished.
He wouldn't keep on shootin' ano
shootin jes TO- devilment when theah
want nuthin' to shoot at. He was a
patient, quiet man, with long gray beahd
Clabe was, and sevvul shotguns.
"Once he stahted out huntin' TO- some
man or othah he thought needed pepperin'
and he mus a needed it or Clabe wouldn't
a thought Of givin' it to him-when the
Sheriff, embold'ned by extra drink OF
somethin, stepped up to him and called
TO him to halt. You'd hahdly call it a
call eithah. 1t was mo- laik a whispah.
-'Mistah Jones. says he waverin'ly. I'm
afeahd I'll have to arres' you TO- carryin'
Of concealed weppuns.'
"Clabe was a patient, long sufferin' man
as tell you. He didn't shoot him. BE
jes looked ovah his head and said to him
a p'intin' explanitoily to the hoss pistols
protrudin' frum his hip pockets the bowie
knives, the handles Of which was stickin'
out o. his boots. and the double barr'ld
shotgun ovah his shouldah, and he says
says he:
DO you call these heah weppuns con-
cealed weppuns, sah.'
'Thcn he pushed hi n gentl- aside with
out putin single bullet through him
and went on a huntin' TO- his man.
"No. clabe he want Is hasty Is they
make him out. He wouldn' deliberat ely
up and shoot everybody he come across.
Not tall.
Il used to visit Clabe quite frequently
aftah he come to Harrodsburg, and to
show you how honorable he was. mus
tell you how he allus offered me shotgun to
protec' myself in case the conversation
took a unexpected tun and annoyed him.
'Sevvul friends and me we used to take
dinnah with Clabe now and agin. We all
set aroun' the table with ouah double barr'ld
shotguns at ouah sides, ready; b'sA Clabe
he want nevah to say himself that
theah peace conference OF Proct s.
Nevah was himself. Nevah in zgle
instance did he allow the con> ,ation
to lead into a channel yhut would lead to
the use OF the double bAYrld shotguns.
whats that? Yes.s As you say, we
mus a bin somewhat particular ourselves.
You an right, 8 usual. We was.
.Oh, yes. Proc he's responsible TO- the
condition Of things now in Kentucky.
No promiscuss shootin to amount to any
thing, no cleanin' out Of communities, no
nuthin. Mos g still and peaceful q a
civilized country Kentucky Ia these days.
'1ceptin,' Of cose. pitched battle now
and then in Harrodsburg.
But Clabe Jones's death, that wus the
saddest paht Of it all. Not that he died to
say a natchul death, but wait till I tell
you.
"ole Clabe he was was putty fon' Of drink
In his las days, putty fond OF drink. Took
to drink, in fac, to drown his troubles aftah
that theah peace conference.
well, one day aftah he'd bin how'll
drunk 70 a couple Of days befo', old Clabe
he woke up with head on him. ! hap
The sun., 1904-11-13

| let her out with about ffteen ponnds under
what she really weighs Understandf
| of course he understood He was one
doesn't guess within three pounds of yoar
| weight you need net pay him the ntokel
three pound m limit, ana The schsms q Ii
these weight guessers Is frane,up. -
my wife was waiting, and after o. few
minutes suggested to her that now would
be good time for her TO get weighed and
find out how much she had fost sinos lesSina
a'Oh, yes, como ON right now.' shs enS
claimed dehghtedly, and I eteored bet
over to the weight guesser whom had
carefully: scratched his head q btt--t.pphs
me a crafty wink on the side-and ssid:
.-,It.s mighty hard to guess the weight
OF ladies when they are 50 perfectly pro,
portioned and symmetrical. but-lemme se4
I should say that you weigh sbout l76
MY wife was In a perfect blase of, 10y
as she sat In the. swinging soales. Th4
weight guesser kept his hand on. the JtH
OF the scales, as usual. and applied th4
said just 1T pounds my wife looked
happier than I'd seen hsr look for a long
time;
the day before we left New York, whsp 7
weighed 18e pounds. So Two lost thst
twelve ,pounds-isn't that perfectly gore
1T sure is,' said I, pleased to see her %
tickled, and then We passed along the Ptke,
my wife continuing to eheerfnlfy commsnt
on the rapidity with which abe was dropptnS
her superfuous tissue. -.
'Then the calamity occurred. We passed
by one Of those drop-a-nickel-in-the- -slots
and hear the-phono nograph- call yodr- weight
contraptions. Tbs barker for the maohtnd
was calling out:
Get weighed. ladise and gents, On the
most exact scale on earth. Hear yout
weight to fraction Of grain called oh'by
a button to barrel Of bilge water. oeS
In liner '-..,--,
I'm just going to have that phono,
graph thing weigh me and verify that paH
Of scales that Just weighed me- taid NY
wife, to my extreme CONSERVATION.
oh, you'd better not-onoe ought 10
be enough tried to dissuade her, but
she was already standing on the platform.
Il dropped nickel into the slot with q
sense OF impending disaster. My wife
waited for the announcement OF her weight
with an expression OF pleased anticipation
The wheels and cogs inside The oony
traption began to whirr and revolve, and
then came the announ cement, in huges
stentorian, basso profundo tones: .-',
1.-TWO hundred and orel' 'a'. -.
down. A lot OF cynical bad hammered
tads around the scales snickered. a.
Il took my wife right back TO tho hotel,
she didn't care to remain on the Pike any
longer, abe eaid-and abe slept On a DAMP
pillow that night" -; .,:s.t4
The sun., 1904-11-13
Fatal Curiosity Of the - r~ >, 70 ,,z,...:.s, r. So
.f.-f
Woman Who Was Bantina

1T keeps me pretty busy assuring my
wife that she's not what you might call
honest lnjun fat said the small, sparely
built man with the mild eyes. is she fat?
Far be 1t from me to come right out and
express an opinion as to that. But she is
about five feet and one-sixteenth of an
inch high and weighs ordinarily between
1s5 and 100 pounds, so that you may draw
your own conclusions.
"For a number Of years now she has been
going up against all Of these How to take
OF forty pounds In twenty minutes and
'Leanness made easy and Regain your
sylphlike FORM and Why be p-h-a-t'
preparations. In fact. she has tried every
one Of the treatments and fat cures
except the one which requires fat folks to
stop eating three heavy meals a day, with
pound or 30 Of chocolate creams thrown
in, and which makes 1t mandatory for the
reducer to walk at least two blocks day;
and still she keeps her weight.
But started to speak OF my continuous
performance job of assuring her that she
isn't what you might really call sure enough.
cross -your-heart stout
For example, when we're walking on
the street, and she sees coming from the
opposite direction a woman who is really
much less stout than she is, she nudges me,
and fires at me volley Of questions like
these: .,...
For mercy's sake. am such a sight as
that woman?
Tell me honestly, now. do waddle like
that woman?
PITY sakes alive. haven't more of waist
line than she has?
IF thought was as fat and pudsy look
ing as that woman, don't know what I'd
do-amI /? -
And so on. And Of couiro have to
scramble to the front every time and reply
to her interrogations just the way ahe
wants me to reply to them. She's sensi-
tive woman. and I wouldn't want her to
she already does for anything.
But she went up against the catastrophe
while we were on the Pike at the st. Louis
fair the other day. We'd been travelling
about for a couple OF weeks, and she was
perfectly certain that the activity and ex-
ctement had reduced her amazingly
I'm going to let one Of those Pike wei ght.
She said 70 me on the day after we had
made our first visit to the Pike.
i was rather glad that she gave me the
tip in advance. So, when we reached the
Pike that evening, / deposited her in a
knick-knack pavilion. and told her that
1 was going across the way to get smoke
and would be back in a minute. crossed
was presiding over the scales, and slipped
him half-dollar.
I'm be bringing lady over here pres
emily l said to the weight guesser, and
I want you to let her down easy. See? She's
sensitive about her weight, and you can
The sun., 1904-11-13
m WON'T" THE HUSBAND
| SAID, BUT lNYVAIN
In the End He Crossed the Detested
Bridge. an5 the Wife r.
Had Her Way.

sWll YOU cross the bridge to-day2'
NO, ! will not. / would not yesterday,
and will not tomorrow. / will never
cross that bridge. never, never!"
DO not boast, my dear. tell you that
,ou will cross it. Yes, you surely will
Not a day passed but the preceding dia.
logue took place between M. and Nine
de Tarbagnac. Only their voices diff
fered, now angry, now sarcastic, now bitter
now indifferent.
Madame especially excelled In the art
Of leading all conversations around to
the disputed bridge. and every day as she
ssked her accustomed question abe smiled
with malicious delight at her husband's e
angry outburst. The word bridge to him
was like a red flag to bull.
In itself the bridge in question was moth
ing more than ridiculous monument
which Madame had had built. in the face
Of marital opposition, across an unim-
nortant little stream that flowed through
their beautiful park. The need OF its ex-
istencs was more or less problematical, FOR
a man had not to be a Colossus OF Rhodes
10 stand with a foot on each side OF the
little stream.
Nevertheless, the structure rose, for
nnidable and massive, embracing each
hank with an immense arch. To an inn
narfial observer it would have seemed that
he brook was made for the bridge. and
not the bridge for the brook. so greatly
did the former dominate the latter In i'm
Ia vain had the Baron de Tarbagnac
struggled with his spouse during many
stormy months to secure the removal OF
the bridge Madame was unyielding on that
point. She would she should and she
must have bridge. She had 1t, but her
husband never forgave her ohstinacy;
tried foul. He secretly paid the workmen
70 declare a strike and he spent month In
tbe epdeavor to turn aside the little stream
60 there should be no excuse for bridge,
In spite of all Madame kept steadily
ahead, and one day the Baron, in a fury OF
concentrated rage, saw the completion OF
the work of art. He redoubled his sarcastic
remarks, tipping each word with drop Of
cruel bitterness. The Baroness met him
with prompt revenge. She gave large
dinner to celebrate her marvellous bridge.
The guests assembled. ready with COM
pliments which died away at the sight OF
their hosts face. The first to arrive was q
gentle old man with wrinkled lines that
told Of laughter
so you have spanned your Rubicon.'
be said gayly;. .r
DO you take me for fool?"
And the old man turned astonished to
find his hostess smiling genialy.
After a sumptuous repast, Nine. de
Tarbagnac invited her guests to follow her
to the park to see her latest acquisition.
The Baron accompanied them, leaning on
the arm OF the little old man. who was
desirous Of atoning for his first 'unlucky
speech,
When the group reached the little stream
with its pompous bridge, Madame fastened
The sun., 1904-11-13
THE BROKEN HEART OF CLABE JONES
of
Shoodn He Had Finishe

Kentucky amt whut 1t used to be,
sighed the Kentucky Colonel. Times ID
nightly changed down theah these days
I'm afeahd the lurid glory Of the old fash
uned feud in Kentucky Is depahtei anc
gone.
'The ole leadahs is dead or In prison OF
Twin In peace. Craig Tolliver, he is deac
and gone. Boone Logan and the Youngl
is quietly practisin' the law.
Andy johnson is capitalist. The
Yallah Creekahs have become Ian specu
lators or gone Wee' Will Jennings ant
the Hatfelds is in the penitenha'y and joe
Eversole. he has done bin killed.
a saw log dispatched Jerry Little. Gen
Sowders Is a quiet, we'll behaved either
now and his ole enemy Alvis Turnah ha,
bin slain.
mo. Things amt the same now In Ken.
lucky as they was in the good ole days
They amt the same.
Its pahtly the fault Of Proctor Knott
It's mos'ly his fault. When Proctor stan's
up befo tha Bah Of Jedgment he'll find It'll
be putty much the same's a Kentucky bah
He'll have to ansuh TO- things.
Ten yeahs or mo- ago he took sudd' n
notion to treat the feudists OF Kentucky
as II they was civilized people Invited
the principal participants OF Rowan and
othah counties to Louisville to make a little
treaty Of peace undah his auspices.
-Whut was the outcome? Why, this
To-day the mo- powerful leadahs in any
mountain quarre! is he'll to answah befo
the Clark county Succut Cote fo' his crimes
e Proc called 'em, sames any othah or
dina'y law breakah.
THAT theah peace conference Of Proc
tors como putty nigh breakin' the hearts
OF them theah feudists. Some OF the mos
prominent leadahs jes' nachully died In
their beds ruthah than be called upon 10
atten' anothah.
'Oh. yes. It's jes' Is tell you. Proctor
Knott he's got good deal to ansuh To-, q
changin' OF the good ole conditions OF Ken
lucky. Things amt the sarne's they was
down theah In my time, that is. allus leavin
out Harrodsburg, you undehstan'.
IF you have any teahs to shed prepaah
to shed them now when tell you OF the
death OF Clabe Jones, whut occu'd jes'
outside O. Harrodsburg on the Lexington
pike, about TO miles from town.
.Clabe Jones he was originally from
Rowan county. When Proc he called
that theah peace conference, Clabe he run
away ruthah than sutfah the humiliation
Of attendin' OF it. He run away to Har-
rodsburg SOS to live out the res OF his
days in peace n quietude. Seems he
didn' know ve'y much about Harrodsburg.
But, ennyway, Clabe he was natchully
a ve'y peaceful, long sufferin' man. He
didn' have mon eighteen notches In his
stick, Clabe didn', and he was a perfec
gentleman. Theah want a soul In Rowan
but would tell you that Clabe Jones was
a perfec' gentleman.
You've nevah bin to Rowan county,
It's jes' e we'll The people theah walk
about in the da'k with lanterns-moun-
famous distric', you know. Well,iwhenevah
a man with a lantern saw Clabe Jones a
loomin' in the distance he dropped his
lantern and run. You could allus tell
wheah Clabe had been walkin' the night
befo' by the numbah OF lanterns strewed
The sun., 1904-11-13

New Orleans pays its Mayor 5000 a
year. Cincinnati and Cleveland have the
same rate Of pay. Allegheny City pays
1880, and Baltimore the same. The Mayors
Of Louisville, jersey City, Buffalo, Provi.
denoe, Newark and Detroit receive IS 200
a year each.
The Mayor Of New Haven receives ss, 500,
cad the Mayor Of Worcester, Mass, 81, 500;
the Mayor Of Minneapolis, 81, 600 the Mayor
81 Binghamton, 1850, and the Mayor OF
Dallas, 81 900.
The sun., 1904-11-13

The standard Of salaries Of Mayors Of
American cities is generally high com.
pared with the pay OF members Of Congress,
members OF the various State legislatures
and Of the Cabinet and OF State officers
generally.
The Mayor OF New York receives SIS 900,
IS 900 more than the Governor. The salary
OF the Mayor Of Philadelphia is $I2 1000
81 600 more than is paid the Governor Of
Pennsylvania.
The sun., 1904-11-13
A Brush Eject

A Brush Eject
How selfish Is mankind, observed the fox,
There's not gobbler left upon the farm;
The hounds came scurrying across the land
And drove me here to save my brush
from harm
I'm glad the artisv owl remarked, you
saved z
That gorgeous brush, else how could I
delight
In that delicious landscape down below
You painted In your somewhat rapid
fight"
The sun., 1904-11-13

The salary Of the Mayor Of Boston is
$4,000, 1000 more than is paid the Gov
ernor Of Massachusetts. The Mayor Of
San Francisco receives y, 900, the amount
paid the Governor Of California.
Denver pays it's Mayor 5000, while
Colorado pays its Governor the same
amount. s.. Louis pays its Mayor 5000,
the same salary paid the Governor OF Mis-
souri,. The salary Of the Mayor Of Chicago is
$40, 900: the Governor OF Illinois is paid $50
The sun., 1904-11-13

A Tough Proposition.
The ostrich to the ibis said,
Out on Sahara's waste.
I'm glad I'm not turkey cock.
Loved only for my tastA
I give my pretty feathers up
At Fashions stern beheet
But as Thanksgiving meal fear
" i hardly would digest!"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-08-13
AT EMPIRE CITY TRACK.
Close and Exciting Finishes Chnrac.
 iRriEn Meet


 New York; Aug. l2.-Close and ex- citing finishes characterized the grand circuit races at tho Empire City track today. Leonora was the choice in tho 2:17 trot. but she was never formIda- blc. Earline &. Alex Campbell and Euxenite finished in the order named. nccks apart The $5.OO0 pace for 2:lS class went to the even money favorIte in straight heats. The most popular victory of the day was the win or Swift In the POT trot. a dash of one mile.
 2:lS pace, 5000, mile heatsA Morningstar. b. h.. by Star Pointer
 ralny Egthorne (McDonald). 1 1 China Maid, b. m. tMcLoughlinJ. .. , Baron Gratten. b. E. (Geers) ..... 8
 Winnie King. Angus Pointer, Bob Hughes. finished as named Time. 2:05; 2:06 1-4.
 2;l5 trot. John II. Shults stake s2.l50: Bonnie Russell, b. h., by Conni-
 Bonnie Ella (Hudson). 13 1 Aristo. b. g.. (DeRyder) .... 8 1 2 Single K, ch. g., Cummings and
 McDonaldl .. .. . 5 8
 Tuna, Media. Vendora, Delma Grexor, sonata, Grayston. T. F. N, Nellie Jay finished as named. Time, 2:O7 i-2; 2:10 1-2; 2:11.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-08-13
League standing.

Games Yesterday. At Little Rock-Montgomery l; Lit-
 At New orleans-Birmingham. g.; At Shreveport-First game. Atlanta, 3; Shreveport. 1. Second game, Att lanta. l; Shreveport. o.
 Games Today.
 At Memphis.Nashyille and Memphis; ms Little Rock.
 At New orleans-Birmingham ana New Orleans. q At shreveport-Atlanta and shreve- port.
 Little Rock, Aug. l2.-(SpeciaL)- Home runs were plentiful today and 1t was well for the locals 1t was thus for both their runs were home runs. Montgomery made enough hits to win a whole series and they were punched too. but the punches were not big enough. but thirty-two Little Rock men faced Southpaw Gardner and six reached first. two on passes. two on singles and two made home runs: Tn the first inning with two out House holder sent a line drive to right which Manners misjudged. and he made the circuit. though safe at the plate on close shave. In the fourth McCann walked and reached third on Wright's
  ville retired the side. In the ninth after Householder struck out and Mo- Cam popped out, Anderson landed for long fly over the left field fence and won the game. It was the second time in four seasons home run had been knocked over the fence.
 For Montgomery in the first. Moles- worth singled, but was forced by Schwartz who reached there on Dur rett's single, but Pabst forced Durrett at second. In the third Gardner singled but couldn't pass second, in the fourth Durrett led off with a single. Pabst sacrificed. Clark struck out, Manners singled and Durrett tried to reach home and was out. Busch reached third in the fifth on a walk. but the side retired on a close decision In the sixth Durrett and Pabst singled, Clark sacrificed, Manners struck out and Durrett was out trying to steal home. In the seventh Busch singled Gardner sacrificed, Molesworth singled to left and on Householder's tumble Busch scored. In the ninth Manners first up. hit for two bases, but Busch struck out. Gardner was out second to first and Molesworth popped out.