davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
The Fountain of yoUth

Like pretty much everything else,
this matter of having children las t""
sides TO II. As e great many children
are failures and as children are t.la
Joint product of heredity and environ
ment, both elements perpendicular
under parental control, ii woull se'm
more sensible 10 say that there wrro
too nr.ay people undertaking parental
responsibility instead of too few. And,
further, parenthood has many cares
and sorrows and eNasperarions. Still,
when all is said, how many persons
who have found themselves childleSs
At forty-five have been able honestly
to congratulate themselves?
Children have use as an assurance
against destitution and loneliness in
old age. They are satisfactory to the
vanity for family Immortality. But
more than these and all other advan-
tages is the advantage of proionging
ones life Growing children will keep
any proper man or woman young in
spirit and in mind, will retard the de-
velopment OF that sour yet complacent
cynicism which curses old age both for
oneself and for those about one.
The man or the woman-again, the
right sort OF man or woman-who has
children drinks every day deep draft
at the fountain of eternal youth.-Sat-
urday Evening Post.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
whistler and HI. Model.

James MacNeill Whistler once owed
female model S. for sittings. she was
a Philistine o; the Philistines. vino
knew nothing of her patron fame ana
was in no way impressed with MS
work. One day she told another artist
that she had been sitting TO a little
Frenchman called Whistler who jump
ed about his studio and was always
complaining that people were swin-
ding him and that he was making
very little money. The artist suggested
That If she could get any piece OF paint
ing out Of Whistler's studio he would
give her $50 for II. Although skep-
teal, the model decided to tell her "lit-
tie Frenchman" of this too generous
offer and selected one OF the biggest
and finest works in the studio. What
did he say?' asked the artist who had
made the offer when the model ap-
peared in state of great excitement
and looking almost as II she had come
second best out of a scrimmagc. He
said: Fifty dollars! Good hea vens!
Fifty dollars. And he got no mad
well, that's how l came in here like
this"
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
.pox,. BODY" and .D..dy Fonk.'

biscuits, or, as they are familiarly
called at sea, pantiles,' are served out
with liberal hand says Charles
Protheroe in Life In the Mercantile
Marine" ITO make satisfying meal
of them would occupy all the watch
below. for. being as hard as nails. mas
tication is necessarily slow operation.
To obviate this difficulty they nre
placed in small canvas bag and by
dint of much pounding reduced to II
powder Sufficient liquid, sometimes
pea soup that is left over from dinner,
is mixed with this until it becomes Il
paste. A few pieces of fat pork stuck
here and there over the surface to give
favor, this by the indulgence Of the
cook. is allowed in the oven, and when
Drowned is known as dogs body
DANDY funk is another dish Of the
same kind, the substitution of little
molasses furnishing the excuse for an
other name"
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Arnh LNluR

The fo!Lowiug Characterization OF tit
Arab penchaut for not telling the IruI"
is from Il pape. by Dr. G. SaiutPaul
on the TuniSians: Arab lying is eA-
asperating. II is absurd and victorious,
Ii triumphs easily over the griCca.
sense and the habit of sciCutilc re"-
souing. Ii is sometimes childish, lo2i
native servants will never be taken
unawares You forbid one Of them 10
smoke III your dining room ANA You
surprise him there with cigarette IN
his mouth. You were smoku-. NO.
I saw you impossible You had a
cigarette in your mouth: you are hid
ing 1t in your hand: there II is" Then
God put it in my hand The native
denies always. Taken red handed he
denies Beneath blows he denies.
Pain is sometimes powerless 10 make
him confess. even at the point of death
Ths obstinacy is due In part TO the
high idea he has of his dignity. His
pride forbids him a confession, be-
cause the avowal of his lying is In
nnitely humiliating in his eyes. The
fear OF losing face is all powerful in
him To recognize a fault is more
shameful than to have committed ii.
Hence the peculiar Obetinacy of the
native in denying. even when ii would
be to his interest to confess. an OBJ
stinacy not manifested in other ways
journal of American Folk Lore,
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
The Laughing Hyena.

Although the hysterical laughter of
the laughing hyena is not as was once
supposed, the outcome of a deliberate
attempt to decoy unwary travellers to
their doom, this strange animal is. new
ertheless, one of the most cunning of
dumb animals. He is SO suspicious of
everything he does not understand that
the sight of even bit of string at once
puts him on his guard. Trappers are
aware of this fact and generally use
the stems of creeping plants instead of
string of any kind in setting their
spring traps.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
The Way tn EIaat.

This is the advice of an old swimmer
to those who cannot swim: ANY hu-
man being who will have the presence
of mind to clasp the hands behind his
back and turn the face toward the
zenith may float at ease and in perfect
you first find yourself in deep water
you have only to consider yourself an
empty pitcher. Let your mouth and
nose, and not the top of your heavy
head, be the highest part of you and
you are safe. But thrust up one Of
your bony hands and down you go
turning mp the handle tips over the
pitcher There are reason and logic
in this.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Jeans Revenge.

An aveneer need not necessarily he &
naturalist, but there are cases where
he would take his vengeance more 10
his victim. Lippincott's Magazine tells
q story of Jean, the French Canadian
gardener who was found stamping on
a little mound of fresh earth and
fhuckling 10 himself.
"Ah, 'sieu,' he cried triumphautly.
"I am not a one to be trified with !
am cr-r-r-uel man when once ! am
arouse. M'sieu will remember the mole
that has hong time ravage the straw
berry beds of madamef Every morn
ing madame she say, Jean. why catch
est thou not that moleF
But the mole was wise; e was
oueek Always ! look and look. but
never can l find heem. But at last.
thees very morning. l catch heem. !
hold heem tight in my hand-so-and
say: 'Aha-a-a ls it thou then, that has
vexed madame and ravased her beds
of the strawb berry: Aha-a! You shall
repent Of thees wickedness.
Then wonder how shall kill
heem. He must be punished as well
as killed. l wonder and wonder. but
at last ! have the grand idea. All, ii
was cr-r-uel. m'sieu. that way l kill
not deserve of the worst? But he will
vex madame no more. fi1 heem.
bury heem alive"
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Tolerance,

Tolerance is calm. generous respect
for the opinions of Others even of ones
enemies. Tolerance is silent justice
blended with sympathy. Tolerance al
ways implies wisdom and kindness. 1t
seeks to convert others from error by
gently raising them to higher ordeals,
by leading them to broader lines of
thinking, by patiently helping them to
help themselves. Tolerance does not
use the battering ram of argument or
the club of sarcasm or the rapier Of
ridicule. Selected
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
British Emergency Ration.

Every soldier in the British army
carries in his haversack what is known
as the emergency ration" This con-
sists of a small tin cylinder, similar to
a pocket spirit flask, divided into two
compartments. One of these is filed
with four ounces of cocoa paste, and
the other contains Il similar quantity OF
concentrated beef tpemmican). AS its
title implies, the ration is not to be
used except in the case of direst neces-
sity, and if consumed in small guam
titles it will maintain strength for thir-
ty-siX hours.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Telling Time by the Porch.

The Oldest system by which men
have told the time of day is sundials.
There are sundials still in existence
since long before the Christian era. In
fact, they have been found in Egypt
dating before the pharaohs. The In
dians and wild nations told the time
by the position Of the shadows Of
trees or mountains. The Chinese have
carried the art Of sundials to perfec-
tion and even today use pocket sun
dials instead of watches. One Chinese
matchmaker has arranged his front
porch in such way the shadow OF the
posts tells the time by which to regu-
late the watches.-Ada Paterson in Pill
grim
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
SuHnfciOua.

An uncultivated Boer, who had heard
of banks. determined to take some of
his savings to one Of these places.
With this object in view, according to
n London paper, he travelled to Cape
Town, found bank and banded in his
cash to the clerk, who in return gave
him handbook. How much do you
charge for taking care of my money!"
asked the Boer. The clerk smiled and
said. I'VE don't charge. but will give
you money for taking care of it," Let
me have it back at once" said the
Boer. Il always thought you British
rascals were dishonest. Now | am
sure of it."
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Henley's Su6ePings.

In fifty-four years of his life-he was
born in lS49-W. f. Henley never
knew what a days perfect health
meant. When little more than boy
he was attacked by disease which
necessitated the amputation OF one
foot. He was told later by the doctors
that the sacrifice OF the other leg was
necessary were he to live. The fame
OF Dr. Lister had reached Henley,
and, penniless and almost friendless,
he determined to try Edinburgh in
firmary. Thither he Travelled third
class in physical suffering such as few
have known. and when he reached the
intirmary his whole possessions
amounted to few shillings. His con-
fidence in Lister was justified and his
leg was saved. He was and remained
a cripple. but neither hopeless nor
helpless. His astounding nimbeness
under these conditions suggested to
Robert Louis Stevenson the physical
sketch Of John Silver.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
The Red Sea.

Here is an interesting theory: What
made the Red sea red? The blood Of
locusts. Read a few lines from Ex-
odus: "And the locusts went up over
all the land Of Egypt and rested in all
the coasts Of Egypt; very grievous
were they. Before them there were no
such locusts as they. neither after
them shall be such. For they covered
the face of the whole earth, so that the
land was darkened. And the Lord
turned a mighty strong west wind,
which took the locusts and cast them
into the Red sea. There remained not
one locust in all the coasts of Egypt"
The Red sea today is no more red than
any other sea. Its reddening was tenn
porary.-New York Press.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Rufu, Cho.,. .na y..tic. shaw.

Rufus Choate was sitting next to
Judge Hoar in the bar when Chief JUS
tice Shaw was presiding and the Suf-
folk docket was being called. The
chief justice said something which led
Mr.. Choate to make a half humorous
and half displeased remark about
Shaw's roughness of look and manner
to which Judge Hoar replied, After
all. feel reverence for the old chief
justice" "a reverence for him. my
dear fellow?' said Choate. 80 do l..
bow down to him as the wild Indian
does before his wooden idol. ! know
he's ugly, but bow to superior in
telligence." F. Hoar in Scrib-
ners Magazine.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
What Is GOssipf

There has been complaint from the
beginning of history that women are
''curious." What is curiosity? 1t is
the uneasy appetite Of an Ill fed mind.
People fully educated and fully EN-
ployed are not curious. Civilized wom-
an has inherited the mental growth of
man and then has had to confine that
enlarged capacity to precisely the same
field Of activity which was sufficient
for a squaw. Women have been ac-
cused for centuries of tendency to
gossip What is gossip? 1t is small
talk about other people. The tendency
to this vice is reaction from the per-
Success.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Smoke Slowly and Avoid Cancer.

From the medical profession comes
warning to smokers. II you wish to
avoid tobacco cancer don't smoke fast.
After careful observation it has been
practically determined that this form
Of cancer is caused by the irritation
resulting from the heat of the cigar or
pipe Men who smoke long stemmed
pipes, it is said. do not have cancer.
NO matter how much they smoke while
those who indulge in cigars or short
stemmed pipes are afflicted by this
malignant growth.
Tobacco cancer caused the death of
General Grant. He was an inveterate
smoker. and he smoked very fast. At
the battle of Shiloh he is said to have
consumed fifty cigars. In smoking a
large number of cigars in short time
the tongue is irritated by excessive
heat and in time cancer is the result.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
The Nebular Hypothe.t.

The nebular hypothesis survives in
name, but with connotations indefinite
iy diversified. Regarding the modus
operandi of cosmic change there is no
consensus of opinion. That there was
in the beginning a solar nebula all are
agreed, but whether it was gaseous or
pulverert, whether it shone with in
terrupted or continuous light, how it
became ordered and organized, how it
collected into spheres, leaving wide in
terspaces clear, the wisest are perplex
ed to decide
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
What n Journalfat La.

The editors only son was seemingly
struggling with perplexing problem.
He moved uneasily on his hobby yhorse
and finally twisted all the name off his
steed. Then he crawled up ON his fa-
TIERS knee and. looking inquiringly in
his face. said:
PA. what is journalist
MY SON." said the editor as he medi-
tatively stroked the golden head of his
offspring-"my son, journalist is a
man who wears plug hat and no
Shoes and borrows money from news
paper men. memphis Scimitar.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Best Kind of Proof.

"Here!' exclaimed the irate customer
to the trunk dealer. Il thought you
SAID that chest bought of you was
moth proof?''
We'll said the dealer. wasn't It ~
NO. When opened it my things
were full of mothsr'
Great Scott, man. What better
proof OF 'em do you want |-Brown-
ing's Magazine.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Eugene Fields Sarcasm,

Eugene Field was once presented to
sister poet" to whom he tried to
say pleasant things. AT last the lady
inquired condescendingly do you ever
write yourself?" "A little" replied
Field modestly. And what did you
say your name was?' My name is
Field-Eugene Field" T have not
heard of you before, Mr. Field" said
the lady, with oppressive frankness.
No. madam" said Field, nor of
you; but you might at least have pre-
tended you had. as did. Good after
noon"
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Insect. Used For x.a,.,..

The cochineal insect is in some cases
recognized as medicine and at one
time had reputation for wonderful
virtues. Honey and wax. often used in
pharmacy, are insect products, while
gals used in medicine for the astrin-
gent properties and the gallic and tan
nlc acid they furnish, are also the work
OF finsects.-London Tit-Bits.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Preserving the Traditions.

Yes, have launched my new
yacht" said Muchpop.
What do you call her?' asked the
friend.
Named her for my native city
Brooklyn"
And did you smash bottle of wine
across her bow when she was chris
tened?"
No, indeed. We broke a nursing
bottle full of milk" Judge.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Most Probably an American.

A woman went into a chemists in
London recently and asked for some ar
ticle which is generally to be procured
at shop of this kind
The man of mixtures, replying to the
customers inquiry. said: Madam, l
do not possess what you require.
am chemist. pure and simple"
II don't know anything about your
purity; there's no doubt about your
simplicity" retorted the disappointed
woman as she retired from the counter.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
nful,

johnson - Does your wife speak
French?
Thompson-She thinks she does.
You don't speak it. do you?"
"No''
Then how do you know she doesn't?"
II watched a French walters face
the other day when she was talking to
him, and I'll be blamed il he didn't
look as if he had the toothache!'
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Father and Son

Little Bobby-I can't find my hat and
coat
Father crushing aboub-I can't find
mine either. don't see what your
mother does with things. She's gone
out. and there's nothing for us to do
but hunt till we find 'em or else stay in.
Little Bobby (after long thought
Let's look on the hall rack.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Unreasonable.

Magistrate (severely)-Prisoner. how
did you have the audacity to break into
this mans house at midnight and rob
him?
Prisoner piteously)-But,y your honor,
last time l was before you you wanted
to know how ! could have the audac-
ity to rob man in broad daylight
When do you expect me to get in my
work?
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Called Hin Brother.

Harlow-I noticed you called Fred
brother" Does he belong to some &C.
cret society that you do?
Shallop-I don't belong to any secret
society. I call him brother because my
wife once promised to be a sister to
him.-Boston Transcript.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
The Bnhx Humn.,.4.

"of course" said Mrs. Extrygood.
you are fond of bright precocious
babiesT'
"Oh, yes; certainly" replied Old
Batch. but ! draw the line on the
supposed smart sayings made up by
the parents and loaded Off on the poor
Infants. Baltimore American
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
His P0kitfou.

Say Chimmie, see dat man gettin'
on de car? OATS the postmaster gen.
eral'
'Aw. gwan! He amt no general
amt got no brass buttons nor stars
nor not'in'."
"Aw. he amt no soldier general He's
oe man wot hands out letters at de
general delivery windy."-kansas CITY
Journal.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Like q Charm.

Customer (angrily)-You said that
hair restorer you sold me couple of
weeks ago would work like charm,
and 1t didn't do any good at all
Druggist-But. my dear sir, no one in
this enlightened age believes in the eff
ficacy Of charms.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
I'm posing.

She lat the review grounds)-What
an imposing figure Captain Borrows
has!
He-Yes; naturally So
she-And why naturally, pray?
He-Oh. he's always imposing on his
Observation-Disclosures Inquirer.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Anger and Diaeatinn

well known physician has written:
anger Is passion which especially
u"l.s the stomach for doing much
WORK. If it occurs often or be pro.
.racted' but little food should be taken.
l nose who indulge In 1t have double
cause Tor abstinence. Both their folly
ana their stomachs call for n fast"
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Unerrins Childhoos.

Inc child is so often right. 1t has
not the miscellaneous knowledse of the
sro"hup person who reads newspapers
ana Keeps tame Encyclopedia Bri-
tannica In carefully devised cage. But
.he childish mind has an unerring log
,ca' FACULTY not in any way confused
oy superhuity of Observation-Disclosures
Academy.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Asking His AdyIca

A little girl, aged nine, called her ia.
ther to her bedside the other evening.
Papa" said the little diplomat, ~
want to ask your advice"
"Well. my dear, what is it about?"
What do you think II would be best
to give me on my birthday Y'-London
Telegraph.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Complimentary.

Irate Daddy Suddenly coming upon
q highly emotional love scene in a cozy
corner)-What! kissing my daughter!
L this the way you reward my conf
dence and respect for you in admitting
you to my home7
Young Man (calmly)-It strikes me
that I am paying you the highest COM
pHment possible.-Baltimore American.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Honey and nraiu~

A newly arrived westerner was con.
1ronted in street of New York late at
night by rutiian with leveled re-.
VoiVer' who made the stereotyped de.
mana, Give me your money or I'll
blow your brains out"
BLOW away" said the westerner.
You can live in New York without
brains. but you can't without money ("
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
An Affecting Scene

MIR. Younghusband-Darling. YOU have
oeen weeping. What is 1t. my sweetest
love?
mrs. founghusband- radisb,
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Easily Doubled,

Goodart-Here's a brand new five
dollar bill, old man. I'll lend you that
Boroughs-Oh, say; can't you double
1T
Goodart-Sure. Here goes! double
ft-soLnow l double it again-thus.
In this shape. you see, it fits snugly in
my pocketbook. So long!-Exchange
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Ambixuities of Parrot Talk.

lda-That parrot is always saying.
"Sit close"
May-Yes. It's hard to say whether
his former owner was street car con
ductor or young lady keeping regu-
lar comDany.-St Louis Star.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14

II people do not naturally appreciate
you. do not insist that they shall. 1t
only makes matters worse.-Atchison
Globe.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14

no man really feels his Importance
anu after his wife calls his attention
10 the fact that he is somebody
waukee Sentinel.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14

woman knows moro obout d-o,,
."l' .,'a man Knows about everything
e'se seconbined.-Phlladelphia Record
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14

rame is the perfume Of heroic deads
Socrates. NS"''
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-01-31
AT THE
GRAND

The National Stock Company will
open Il weeks engagement at the
Grand tomorrow night, and, from the
report of the managers last night,
very near every seat in the house has
been sold for the first performance.
This Is one Of the best popular pric-
ed attractions that has ever played
the south, and as it is the first repre-
toir company that has played in Bruins
wick this season the news of it's COM
ing will be too-fold welcome to the
theater goers of this city,
High class speclalties will be intro
duced between the acts OF each per-
Torrance and an entire change of bill
each night will be the order. On Mon
day night the company will present
the beautiful comedy drama, "a Wo-
mans Secret" This play has never
been played in the south before, so
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-01-31
SOME OF THE FEATURES
OF the orton Show to be Here next

OF the orton Show to be Here next
Week.
See the wonderful orion children,
Iva and Clarence, age and years.
The youngest aerial performers in the
knowing world today. See the skill
full acrobats; marvellous feats on
ground and in mid air. See the troupe
Of athletes, gymnasts, wire walkers
and riders, CLEANED from the cream of
the amusement world; our clowns Will
make you laugh, as that is their bus
mess. ee our precarious school Of
CANNES selected from the aristocracy
Of the dog world.
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-01-31
Leading Lady of the National Stock
Company.

something entirely new is assured.
Among the vaudeville acts SEIZED
uled for between the cts for Monday
night are o. lopez TIL his wonder
FIJI musical tnmble 5, Nelson and
French in comedy ,Netches, Agnes
French III song and ances and Leila
Click in her clarac- songs.
Ladies' will be adn,,'ted free as as
already been stated zen accompan ed
by a person holding "a paid 80 cut
ticket. Seats mus be reserved by
6 .. m, Monday whcn the ladies V sh
to take advantage CT the free adnis-
sion to res erYed seats.
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-01-31

Rev. Jno. S. Coz, of Wake. Ark,
writes, For IL years l suffered from
Yellow JauDdice. | consulted
number of physicians and tried all
sorts of medicines, but got no relief
en- | began the used OF Electric
Bitters and feel that l am now cured
Of a disease that had me in its grasp
for twelve years" II you want re-
liable medicine fof Liver and Kidney
trouble, stomach disorder or general
debility, got Electric Ritters. IT,
guaranteed by all druggists. Only
soc.
The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-01-31

There is an Old allegorical picture
gir' scared 1T the grass hopper
at in Ila act Of Eecdiessly treadlng
snake. This is parallelled by
ac mar %nQ spends a larse sum OF
Ioaey bulang a cyclone cellar, but
a@iett r. rr,yide his family with
bottle ii @ 1nberlajn's Collie, Chol-
era and Diarruoe3 Remedy as {. safe
ARD ar1iust bowel complaints,
&hoso victims catnunber those Of
he cyclone hundred to one. This
remedy eye yWt- re reeocnized as the
most PROMPT and reliable medicine