davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS.
We Never Get Too Old or Too Good
20 Have No Need of
Them

What! make New Year resolutions
again? Certainly, no one is too old
or too good to have need OF them
But curb your enthusiasm, weigh well
your chances Of success, and be a lit
tie more icnient with yourself than
you were a year ago. Better to set an
easier task and win than to risk weak
oning your Will power and sClf-Iospcct
by another failure. says the Country
Gentleman. Have your ideal OF per-
feet manhood. or wUmanhoOd by ali
means Life is indeed prosaic and
commonplace without one, and--aIas!
1t is n bitter disappointment with one,
unless We remember that we build the
ladder by which we rise to Il noble
character, and that more actual prog
rcss is made By gaining one strong
round than by ten shaky ones.
just what particular step is most
needed each one must determine for
him. or herself Probably 20 cut OF
every 100 OF us boys AMI girls grown
tall" need most to brace up and
strengthen the round Of Chocrfulness,
and question if there are many OF
YOU who can make a resolve that will
do more to develop and strengthen
your higher nature than an earnest
one to be ch,criul--cycn when things
20 wrong for from its roots Is sure
10 spring thouEhtfulnes5 of others, and
hope, and courage
Thinl, of these things, and rcmem-
Der not only the precious assurance Of
help to him who "worketh out his own
salvation" but that the dear Lord
loyeth the cheerful giyer" Of hope and
courage, as well as him who gladly
giveth of hts "loaves and fishes
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23
Christmas Charm.

The chief charm Of Christmas is its
simplicity. II is festival that ap-
peass to everyone. because everyone
can understand It. A genuine fellow
ship pervades our common life--a fell
lowship whose source is our common
share in the s..t of the worlds great
est life, which was given TO the whole
world. "A. II. kimball.
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

a,..t. mn, ..,.,.. .l,,."
,i.s Nan, ,,,.,Irod .,,.,.,,. ,.t,,.i.,,,,,. -,
Mrs rrmor,s hor'.L,o,,mn ant .,,,y
lor,d
"ynr mar o,tid, nc .o,... ,,,.
emma moro srhoro &, tho o,,,,r -
,io,,rgt,i-s ol,,,,s ,,o-,, - ~
rr,c,, ,rnnsito r,n a, ,ahIo WI, ~.
N'yrr + hoiioyn,noy haya no., ,,,,, ,,,'o
for ,,r ." " " ''''" b
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90, ,,.,r.,, -, ,a,, '''',,,, Wv wv "
r,,,.,l,, ',,', '',,'''''
trn". ,',nr,I,n, 1,, ' a,.,,, ,a'"'" .','''
,.,,, 81, ..' ','"'"S, '''upn
amt II, 10 ~, t.,,,,,r,,l "a >
-, :. ''''
,,.. p,,,,..-,,,u,,., ......,
,,..,' ,,,atna San ct,i ~, ,',''' ,nb h'r
,r,,oon ~ VI, ,,, Ina ',t'''"G '''l'' III
a,a" To- mo ha,,., I h - > pres
-. ~ ', ' .,, ~ ~ ~ u'' Ioi,e-
,,hni.t,'o -, 40 "'" '"' ""' VI t"e
.,.,'
w. "'lS "''' Wy H"''N'' Auch 10
,''1' ,'',,' : '"' " .9' ''', '"uhu Hers''i
"',S "'''' - ''''' ''''"'' ''' tue cunning
''',,S", ,,,,-.
~. 80, ,'''".,'' ~ + 'o'tn'' :
.,''',.,'. ','''' ''"'o'' 'S e''-
'"U',"a,'. I,''' '''.N 'nr surprise pan
.r,,. ,,,sn Wv H''' 'e'''''.
W. NC wv '"'' H"'' 'l'' "S"-
,,,'' va, ''',', W 'i'' . 'i'ua2
~ :" III"
60. ,ha obm.at, ,,,,... -, =, '"SN.'
noutnn w. a. ',o ,, Sau NJ" ~, y, C W.
60. Me-, pa,.,. .,.,., ~. "a ~
,,a.,tt.s. 49,, -, """u
ao,s 'N " ''''' '"' '"''1 i'' NV
nm n ho. ,t..,,, ,,,.'"" w. ,,''r r "o i'.
ono +" ,ha ..,, ','''''"'',,' s''' u NV
t,iorona ' ",'' ~ a'.'' ', ".e" ~, ""i ="
sn.a -. ne, ~ ''
r,nra,y -, -, y" III ''.l'''s.
.I.issoa Nj -, ,I ,"i"' "ea"
~ rooti.t ~. !. "a ,'''',
cbris,r,a. Ill, ."..'' 80 ~. 'l'" >,
rrLa ~. - N,,'"s .''' '.o'
o,d ao's W. ''''''"7 80 -, ~,
.caru ,a,. - wa. w. Nv '''o" ~ ~"
~ bo sno., ~, "''" D'', ~ ~, r. =,
.,,.o,,i,,,, ,' W ""5. 40 nv ~" 81,
po,,,. or,,a.aa, -, 49,, -, .horo
che had - an a." -.
Conc ta,,,r.,,, -. ,r
.dcar"' cbo c,1,od haa,, ~ u,arsnao u,to
stood IN mo doarno" har n,nn, hoa1
outlined ogoire, mass 81 dmsl1y oycr-
Green's Florepce roddcd = smilire a.
sort and Mic, non. hurrI,d an Che
STONED for tho mai, md fopnd n card
from tbc evprose oncn Co,I,nc thsro
she received tho nac,,ro from tho for-
list
81 am so clad ordored tho carna-
tions" Miss Dapo said IN boreeIf
FLORENCE win bc dc,irhtcd with them
In the morning sho shoI, take n fow
over ia Miss RIiss who is sick Iknov
Florence will be pleased with the Gun
and saucer II seems almost proyidcr-
tial that | bought II for she does Iovo
pretty china And I'm Glad have
that other handkerchief for orr minIs-
ter's wife Mrs Perry IL n real lady
and she don't have any too many of tn,
pretty things women like"
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23
Concerning Christmas Gre ms.

The Gus tom Of decorating churches
and houses with everhrecns is relic
of the pagan times, and on that ac-
count at one time II was forbidden by
the priests. The Druids in Particular
used greens that spirits might repair
to them and remain undisturbed by
frost and winds until milder season
had renewed the foliage OF their
abodes. Evergreen, holly, ivy and
mistletoe were used and are still pop
ular, while laurel was supposed to
drive away the thunder,
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

u BASKET Christmas morning Well, I'm
thar.w that don't need that. and ]
always give something to help on the
baskets as well a. money for the sun
day school Christmas tree Mrs. Dca-
con Green Will send me a mucc pie
she has done II every Christmas Tor ten
Years and always send her plate Of
my rullors ! VIII send Mrs. Narpen-
fer chicken and IT," other Things,
sN' WI" return an ''hh"Ia'' h"l' "I
th"hhS, every In. "'I'"ulhE WIN il
''IhlaI I'I'r. H'I'S niece ! me.
Shrhr''TIaiIs 10 sen" me the ne" 'ahl 3
picture On the Ia'. years "H'h
mere IS no nc" hAol "n' S'uNH me u
card. such ihIhfe are all wei enough
"N' 'h'l ""h mean
Miss Betty stopped, rose, and walked
aJmlcssIy into tn" adjoining dining
room Aii'I l'" moments she re-
turned 10 hcr FORMER p"s''"h' n o'-
i'fIn'h"N i"'h was "I"h H'r race
u do IT, Why thou'dht J. Tn"
day alter io-morTo" u 80 To inc GUY.
presents aE woman ought TO have at
christmas VIII pretend 10 hlEs'l 'hat
'h"' mean IN" inFe am 5" $40" leaIh-
irs 'n i've without.
ON IN" morning OF III" second Gay I"I-
loving MISS i'ah' I'il 'he village on
tho nlnr O'CLOCK 'faih. She old not re-
turn nniiI Tour
As She walked hrIshly homcward
from the dcpo'. her arms filled with
packages, She was ovcrlaken by Mrs
lirlI
why lands sakCs, Miss Betty. You
CONF mean To say AS you've been to the
city do luu' J didn't know as you was
CIruIaiin on Eoln
Wen nave "'ph 'n're' MISS Dhhe
answered. ''''' humanity,
Nha' you =" LOT iouNc got n
n'" nat air'a"y. an" your CLOAK was
ne" last "Ih''f
went 10 40 SOM shopping.
hahu SaN's' i"' va" DnF
MISS h'''E ihI'" "a'N her mead her
brown eyes staring S'Taisht ahead OF
FER
! hourht christmas gins Good-by.
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

What kind Of an animal OF bird FUR
nishcd the pclts for that coat'' h. asked
Mrs Jobson. oyiuciur distinct interest in
tho garment. which looked distinctly
swaggcr In the mellow light Of the f,'r.
riCrs window.
why that's one of the new squirrel
coats replied Nil lolsun. notwith any
particular show of interest. That ia,
they first came iu last year
Like the thing inquired MIR Job.
son. viewing Mrs Johsun with what he
thought was a fine craflmoss out Of the
slants Of his eyes
wees" answered Mrs Jobson:
ITS handsome. Of course a little ultra.
as the mIlliucrs say uf the striking hats
they make. but ! suppose that is be
cause the sQrirrcl coats are so new. and
because we are not used to them yet"
well" said Mr. Iobson right at him
self when Mrs. Jobsous view seemed to
clash with his own. 81 think that coats
iust ripping myself think it's immense.
It's"
hu,' '''','', ~ ~" -, 49,, ~,
som'l'u" "' amin w., ,,,"' .I',',,. ~,
Always '""Na y" '''' ~ IL %.'" ".. ,.,,,
.auEu'o '"'' ~, 49, Us ,'n,. ,"n
l,N'u u '"' "'''.N
INN"
MT, 'o"'"' w., Nv" ~. ,'s,' w. INV ''''
anu l"'" '''''' ~ ~ -,
NO ne '''''"' Wv" '"' ~. a ,'y
thihg OF tue S"'" vi ,"''1 ~, '',' t'''
doesh llI' uoW' P"'" an" '''', ''N' '''' ga
uraay hEul "a'I'"' VI i" ''u .. -. > ',.
preniIc'. S"pp'S' you " " '", vi. ~
use nea' Ft'"H' VI acme ~ man
'hat lu' NV uo"'' "' '''' ~ !" p"',, an
en-. INA Ho" ever scr a. NH,,'i'' ~, ~,
mar y'ub as ''"s' ", "'' ''" w.,
u''u ;" .'u'''i"t ~ " W va ''''"
MIS-. 'u"S"" was ''''''''' LUZ" ~ Wy
ihat She Ma" ".''' "'."'.' avn Ct P'''
honehoi,.
No"' went on va "''''' ,'"'
-lha' slichS up SUI 4" I", '",''"' '"'N
"i that SOUR 'oa' % just ,,'' '''"t Una,
MAKES lne M "''', ',,. !. '' ,'.'''.
ha'o tleSt '"'-""" "''''' VIZ o'''''' ="
Siloo.h 'n'n ES' "nl"u". SUI
OF Joliy '"i''r'A','S, "''''' .''' ,''' way
aho,lh"t l"'H " '.'' .H''',' II, 'i.''
S''INeS me '"'NS '.., 81 -''". S''"''''
h,pplhe Oree%' were '.'"''" ""''''' ''.
en-
Wen ''P'''" WI '"'-'' WI. '"'''''I
WIN "nL'' u" ''' ''I' '' .''. s'', OF
"'''7.' '"''' M",H ''"'' ''"'' '''.
standpoint i'"'.''
VI C""'7' '' mas. ''l"' MY put WI
MT 'opsoh, 'N'"'''''- VII" '''N sUpl'''
ny 'o'r' ! "'"u give H'" 'i'u'' Tor
hr'ht ao'o 10 '"'.I my N'. .''''.A on r.
coming "l"n'. '"f IL ."'' ..'.'.'l''H.
ali'r AL ,"'S' yea, Is. .' "' .'ha'H nom
uIhE 10 90 u"''''+ ''' !,.H ana MT
'p'S"I S''''''" '.''''''' "'.''. "' ''." '''
tie Joke.
mere one ming u"''.'. sa'' NJ
Johson. sun WIN q HN-'' Ut h'r up
an" 'na' If ''a' INV ',..'.', '". ..' ~
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

At this the little Months. amazed.
Wide-cyed upon the teacher gazcd,
Then to their places flying;
Picked up their books and went to WORK,
with not a pause for quIp or quirk;
Their fingers in their ears, thatso
No sound might reach them, to and 40
They rocked and buzzcd untI the room
Was like an orchard full of bloom
And thick with bees The teacher smiled,
And Father Time was much begui.od--
He laughed instead Of signing;
And of they went and shut the door,
And left the little Months once more
To learn their tasks unruly;
And there they rocked and bu22cd until,
For aught know, they're buzzing still
hope they are. for. truly,
II they should fail again fear
1t would so grieye the little Year;
She'd be very blue Year;
And as for us--for you and me-
with half the little Months In doubt
Just as TO what they were about,
And all the holidays left out,
As you can very plainly see,
My little dearS, 'twould hardly be
A very Happy New Year!
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

Ere she had done, with flashing eye
And martial air. out stepped July,
And pompously began to try
70 say the Declaration"
Before tho opening words were out
He stopped and gave a sudden shout,
Flung up his cap into the air,
And yelled till twas enough to scare
Old Time himself; and from her chair
The teacher spfang with startled stare
And frovn Of CONSERVATION.
The litle Months. delighted, clapped;
The Year for order stcrnly raped.
And when the room was still once more
Called out the children as before.
Alas, their wits we're scattered!
They quito forgot they were at school;
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

NOVEMBER AND FEBRl AIRY.
Where four-lcayed clovcrs-deary me!
She yawucd until she could not see;
SO warm, and, oh, so sleepy she!
How could she say her lesson?
Back nodding to her seat she crept.
And dropped her curly head and slept.
Then, with a little bashful pause.
Sweet April came, and cried because
She couldn't quito remember
How many days TO her belong,
Or whore the bluebIrd learned his song!
December prompted, which was wrong;
But he was grieved. the gentle lad,
TO see his little playmate sad
And in her place, quite trim and neat
with braided hair and slIppercd feet,
Came sudious young September
She kucw her lesson like a book,
And said il off with serious look.
Twas all OF sunshine cloud and haze,
And golden hours and shortening days,
And sheaycs of gathered knowledge;
She spoke In French, OF course, with
case,
In Hebrew and in japanese,
In Spanish, Dutch and Portuguese;
And "oloEies" and "ographies"-
As much rs any college
She seemed to know; but bold and spry,
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23
A Harbinger.

Mrs. Motherhas-See what a beau.
tiful Christmas present mother has
sent you, Henry.
Henry (sourly)-I suppose It means
she is coming to stay about a month
Brooklyn Life.
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23
The Lap of PERJURY.

Drggs--lf you want to see misery.
YOU should pass Christmas in the
slums.
Griggs-That's nothing. once
passed a Christmas with some fellows
employed by Russell Sage-Towr
Topics.
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

roast turkey, its chicken pie. and its
fat plum pudding, steaming hot
Let us all be children Tor the time
belng--even IT, with sore of us. It
has to be a second childhood.-Four-
Track News.
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

Tommy-But. pa. how will SAINT.
Claus get down the chimney without
being heard?
Pa-Your big brother will hang Up
some Of his new socks. Brooklyn Life
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

They could not say a single rule,
Nor seemed to think Il mattered.
October tore his book tll brown
And thick. the leaves came nutterlpH
down
And March chewed gum grIove TO say,
And whistlod in the rudest way
And little rosy June an~May
Just laughed and dimpled and looked
sweet
Aud danced about on airy feet,
And could not tell where daisies grew,
Or why the violets eyes are blue!
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

My dcars," she said, good Father
Time,
Our wellbeloyed trustee,
Has come to visit us to-day,
And much would like TO hear you say
Your lessons, just to see
If you have well-instructed been,
As little Months should be"
March nudged September; August
sighed,
And April hid her face and cried
The timid little creature
I'm sure you'll DO your very best.
Come, January; then the rest
May follow" said the teacher.
Then out spoke jan forward lad,
Wrapped in his munler'a scarlet plaid;
4 perfect lesson, too he had,
Correct from A to lizard;
How many snowbals TO a pound?
Where best and longest slides are found &?
How skating may be easiest learned?
And when q new leaf should be turned?
And how to make a blizzard?
Then, very proud he took his place,
And August came, with glowing face,
And such pretty dress on!
She, blushing tried to tell how high
The mountains are that touch the sky;
How wide the fields. how deep the sea,
The lineage of every bumblebee;
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23
Thoughtful.

How kind OF papa"
What's he sent?"
"A quantity of presents for baby,
and on each are directions what to do
II he makes himself sick with It! And
here are the medicines, too!"-,Brool-
Ign Life.
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23
USUAL MISFITS.

Fat Lady-Going to hang up your
stocking, are you? What do You wani
in It?
Midget-l'm lookin for an automo-
bile. What are you?
Fat Lady--0h, I'm hoping for q dia-
mond ring.-Chicago Daily News,
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

Rrprnted from the Wuman's Home Dom
punion. By PcrmIssionD
The Farmington times and herald. (Farmington, St. Francois Co., Mo.) 1902-1905, 1904-12-23

with Mrs Elmer There is to he a
vacation Of two weeks at the holiday.
The Somerset reporter., 1904-03-03
A Strange Explosion.

A celebrated doctor In Relms, while
visiting a patient and listening TO bis
troubles, put his hand Ia his pocket
and mechanically rubbed together some
pastils which were there. Suddenly a
slight explosion took place, and at the
same time the doctor experienced a
sharp pain In his hand. Upon exami-
nation he found that the bottom OF bis
pocket was burned out and that his
under linen was much scorched, while
enc Of his fingers was also injured.
He remembered that he had carried
In his pocket for some days two pastils
containing chlorate Of potash and one
pastil containing chlorate Of sugar.
The last named was broken into little
pieces. while OF the potash pastils ons
was intact, but no trace could be found
of the other. 1t seems that the doctor
had rubbed the chlorate of potash pas
Ill against the chlorate OF sugar past1l
and that at the point of contact a small
quantity Of explosive powder had been
formed. This had ignited. with the re-
suit that the chlorate of potash pastil
had been instantly decomposed.
The Somerset reporter., 1904-03-03

In one Of Mr.. Mable's literary talks
he submitted the six following admo-
nitions for those who read:
DO not read at random Select your
books In advance
Read intcllgcntly aud with foresight
Make Il scheme Tor the season. not toe
large 10 be worked out.
Read books that interest you Fol
low the line of your taste unless your
taste is wholly unframed If 1t is
read good books in different fields uu.
I'll You find out what you care for most
Have a book always within reach
and make the most of your spare min
utes
Read only good books and put your
mind on them. To get the best out Of
books you must be able to remember
them
Do not make a task of reading Read
for enjoyment.
The Somerset reporter., 1904-03-03
She Wa GrnfefuI

Mr.. Browns business kept him 30
occupied during the daytime that he
had little opportunity 10 enjoy the so.
ciety of his own children. When SOIL.
national holiday give him a day of
leisure his young son was usually his
chosen companion. one day, however
Mr.. Brown. reproached by the wistful
eyes Of his seven year old daughter, re
versed the order of things and invited
the little girl to go with him for long
walk
She was a shy, silent, small person.
and during the two hours stroll not u
single word could Mr.. Brown induce
the little maid to speak, but her shin
Ing eyes attested that she appreciated
his efforts to amuse her-indeed, she
fairly glowed with suppressed happi.
ness.
Just before they reached home, how
ever, the child managed, but only after
a tremendous struggle with her inner
ent timidity, to find words to express
her gratitude
Papa, what flower do you like best"
she asked.
"Why, l don't know. my dear-sun
towers. guess"
Then" cried the little girl, beaming
with gratitude, that's what I'll plant
on your graver-Woman' Home Com
panion.
The Somerset reporter., 1904-03-03

1t Is a mistake to think that excessive
physical exercise is beneficial. The op-
poSite is the fact. - some one has
said, Man is not constructed to be
running and leaping animal. like IA deer
or cat" To emphasize bodily develop
ment above the mental development Is
a step toward resumption of the life OF
the savage and lower animals Phys
ical culture is desirable thing: but, as
In everything else. the extremes are to
be avoided. A person may have too lit
tie bodily exercise and may also have
far too much or violent exercise. One
who Is walking II considerable part of
the day would need but little else as
exercise except, perhaps, calsthenics
for the arms. back and chest and on
retiring or rising. And the same ad-
vice is applicable To Il woman who does
her own homework. But one confined
over Il desk or typewriter should make
conscientious habit of walking bicy-
cling and calisthenics every day for an
hour or thereabouts.--Cin Trib-
une.
The Somerset reporter., 1904-03-03

arm, recognized familiar white frock
coming toward her. With sickening
dread of an impending scene she saw
that its wearer was Lillian Roger. and
Darlington walked beside her.
Il am afraid there has been some
mistake In our suit cases" Miss Roger
cried sharply. II don't see how il
could possibly have happened. You
must have taken mlne-by mistake
Janet drew herself up omlnously, In
dignant at the insinuatlon.
THE initials were the same as
NINE" she explained with very red
cheeks. ITO all outward appearance
it looked like my suit case Since |
came down here for the dance | had
no alternative but to wear this dress
or stay at home. 1t was no fault of
mine that the mistake was made, ] as.
sure you"
Miss Roger glanced contemptuously
at the white dress she wore. 81 was
forced to wear yours" she said, not
having any other with me. | took my
sisters suit case. Mrs. Adams-Julia's 8.
She used mine, for it held more. am
sure you will not object to coming
with me now to the dressing room and
exchanging"
Certainly not" Janet said proudly.
There was a frown settling on Car
rington's brow. He was conscious of a
strong desire to take Janet in his arms
and anathematize Miss Roger in for.
chile terms. But the sting of broken
half promise and forgotten VOWS held
him aloof
What little hypocrite she is" Miss
Roger exclaimed to him as she took
her across the floor "She knew all
along it was mine" Darlington made
no comment.
Half an hour later, after a solitary
smoke in retired corner of the piaz.
"a, he came upon little white figure
crying all alone.
Janet" he whispered anxiously.
bending tenderly over her, don't cry.
Where Is that COMPOUNDED Egerton.
He shouldn't leave you here alone"
She raised her head proudly, her tear
clouded eyes flashing why always
that man?' she cried childishly. 4
hate him. only want to be alone
Please go away"
you're not engaged to him? Yon
don't like him." He could hardly ae
credit what his ears heard. They
told me the day was set and
Janet put soft little hand over his
mouth
You did not seem to care sufficient
ly to find out-the truth" she said.
Il was afraid of hearing the death
blow TO my own hopes" he answered
her. "Janet"-he grasped her hands
boldly in his.-"tell me now-I want my
fate settled ut once-cant we go back
to that last sweet summer time and
start all over again, You and y Cant
we. dear? And well let the world
know 1t tonight, so that they will leave
us alone hereafter. VIII you. JANET"
The throb of the orchestra drowned
the silence. Darlington put his arms
around her. and she did not protest
against 1t.
The Somerset reporter., 1904-03-03
No Green Cheese Noon For no,


The little girl WAS ON "a visit to her
grandfather, clergyman who Is cele-
brated in the city for his logical pow
ers
oh, my! Only think, grandpa. what
Uncle Robert says"
What does he say, my dear?"
why, he says the moon is made of
green cheese. 1t isn't at all, is it,"
We'll child, suppose you find out
Yourself"
How can |, grandpa
"Open the Bible ON the table and see
That it says"
Where shall | Begin"
Begin at the beginning"
The child sat down to read the Bi.
BILE. Before she WIS half through the
second chapter of Genesis and bad
.ead about the creation of the stars
and animals she turned to her grand
father her eyes bright with the ex-
element of discovery and said;
I've found 1t. grandpa 1t isn't true.
for God made the moon before he
made any cows"
The Somerset reporter., 1904-03-03

The people Of all serpent ridden
countries have many charms, spells
and incantationS which they repeat or
perform for the purpose of exercising
such obnoxious visitors. In Turkey ey-
erybody from the sultan to the gamin
appeals to the serpent king, Chah-Mi-
ran. When they come in contact with
a serpent. the first exclamation is In
the name of Ghah- Miriam. go away and
hide myself" OF course Chah Miriam
has been dead for centuries, but the
Turk argues that the serpents do not
know this. If they knew that they
were no longer under his influence.
they would destroy the whole human
race
The Somerset reporter., 1904-03-03

A drunken man who sought to buy a
ticket at a theater box office was de-
MED the privilege. whats natter"
demanded the applicant. What's mat
ter with me-" We'll. If you really
want to know" responded the keeper
OF the box Office, you're drunk" The
frankness Of this reply had rather a
SOLDERING influence upon the playgoer
He gathered up his money with dig
nifty. "Of course I'm drunk" he said
cheerfully as he turned to go. Il
wouldn't come 10 see this play II
were sober. would II"