davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
FRENCH MAY QUEENS.
A Pretty Custom Which Is Stiu In
Vogue In Some villages.

NoAuc Ah SoAc NAA@6Cns
An ancient custom which still OBJ
tains in many villages in the south of
France is pretty variation of the
choosing Of the May queen with which
we are so familiar. The mayor and
six of his political officers choose from
among the village maidens the most
beautiful girl. AS soon as the choice
is made known the queen. dressed In
white, even to long white veil and
n wreath of white roses, assemblies
with her parents and all the villagers
in front of the mayors house Here
he and six friends, dressed In frock
coats and top hats, form in procession,
the mayor and queen leading, and
march to the church, where there Is a
short ceremony.
They then march back TO the may
or's house, where a favored few are
entertained at luncheon. When he
proposes her health he enumerates her
virtues, kisses her on both cheeks and
hands her an envelope which contains
the prize, $500 In money. But the cere-
mony does not end here. They form In
procession, the band leading this time,
and in u sort OF follow my leader"
game walk through the village, up
lanes and over hills for three hours.
That evening a ball is given at the inn,
where the queen dances first with the
mayor and his six friends and after
ward with the lads of the village and
so the celebration ends. The queens
white veil. with the veil and wreath,
are carefully folded away ard are
brought out again only when she be
comes q bride.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
waters Part In CoIIouuial Terms.

How many of our expressive ex-
pressions' are built around some refer
ence to watcrw said q writer. TAX @
q few brief examples for considera-
ton. If we think a scheme isn't very
strong or a statement decidedly weak
we invariably say 1t won't hold wa
ter Do we infer that more wisdom
turks In an individuals head than he
is ordinarily given credit for. what
DO we say2 Still waters run deep
When q person gets into some kind Of
difficulty, we say he is in hot water.
when a proposition Of any kind Is
rejected, especially proposal of mar
riage, 1t Is q case of having cold wa
ter thrown on our hopes Fortune has
its tides and blessings or riches are
'rained' down on us. II speaker ex-
hausts his topic and still tries to talk,
we say that he has about run dry
"Rumors are always termed 'afoat,'
and when a business enterprise goes
down we call 1t 'swamped' A man
struggles to hold his head above wa
ter according to our colloquialisms,
and when he doesn't know what plan
TO pursue in order to accomplish GER
tain ends II Is said of him that he is
all at sea st Louis Globe Demo
Crat
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
Implements of Warfare,

There is u story Of a privateer's
crew Of forty TO fifty men capturing a
Turkish galley with 500 seamen and
soldiers on board by means of a swarm
Of bees judiciousiy thrown among the
unspeakable ones. However this may
be, there are enough authentic in
stances Of strange methods Of attack
to provide amply sufficient material
for the casuist in deciding what is fair
and what unfair In war. Burning
naphtha, boiling lead, birds, carcases
of men and horses. Chinese stinkpots,
besides the implements already men
toned, have all been used for offensive
or defensive purposes In actual war
fare.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
The Death Substitute

Il had i'll my employ" says one %
the missionaries to China, "a very valu
able Chinese servant, upon whom /
leaned with implicit confidence. One
day he came 10 me and said, shall be
obliged to ask you to find somebody 10
take my place, as in the course of q
few weeks l am to be executed In place
of rich gentleman, who is to pay me
very literally for becoming his substi
tutc'
Il asked what possible inducement
there could be to forfeit his life for any
amount of money. lie replied: 4 have
an aged father and mother, who are
very poor and unable to work, ana the
money am to receive will make them
comfortable as long rs they live. !
think it Is my duty to give up my life
to accomplish this"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
HaVvaii's Dusky King.

William n. Armstrong, who was at
torney general under King Kalakaua
of Hawaii, In an amusing volume
about that monarch says: 1T is q sin.
gular trait Of the Hawatians to avoid
the use of English when sober, but
when drunk to use 1t with much volu-
bility The kings immediate predeces-
sor on the throne, Lunalilo, when In
liquor would often refuse to converse
with his native relatives I'm the native
language, but addressed them in Eng
lish and directed an Interpreter TO
translate his speech and. Oh the other
hand, required translation in English
of their conversation In Hawaiian. The
kings remarkable memory furnished
him with considerable vocabulary of
uncommon words. Alcohol seemed to
open that part of his brain where they
were stored, especially when, like the
moon, he was at the third quarter and
coming TO the full On one occasion
the use of the words 'hippodramatic
performance secured TO him the pres
tige Of a learned man"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
An Organ Withont stnnn

There Is n man living In an Eleventh
street fiat who has no music In his
soul, and there is q man on the lower
floor whose soul is full Of It. The low,
er floor man not long ago added -four
lung parlor organ TO his lares and pc,
mates, and two healthy daughters of his
beam to practice on It. Several nights
later a friend paid visit TO the first
man, and as soon as he got inside the
apartment he heard the parlor organ
on the lower floor.
Fine toned instrument, that" be
said, because he, too. had some music
In his soul.
The musicless man grunted.
Whose make is itT' the visitor ask.
ed
Don't know" was the ungracious
answer.
How many stops has itr'
The host pulled himself up for q
powerful effort WELL" he replied
It's been in the house for about q
week now. and in that time It hasn't
had any that / have been able to dis
cover. New York Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
A HEAVY DIET.
What the Pixies In Tipperary Waters
Like Most as Food.

There is Il professional fisherman of
my acquaintance in Tipperary who
kills many pike during the winter
months, for which he finds ready sale
in the town He told me Of one Gus.
toner of his who was in the habit OF
SO beating him down In price that he
felt justified in resorting to somewhat
questionable means to increase the
weight of his fish. In the manner of
the winner of the stakes in the cele-
brated jumping Frog" sporting event.
he would Introduce some weighty sub
stance into their interior. stones, bits
OF iron railing, etc.
Once he went so far as to stuff two
old handless fiatirons he had picked
from a refuse heap down the gullet of
one before taking 1t TO his customer,
who, having weighed II carefully and,
after much haggling. paid him a frac-
ton less per pound for II than he might
have perhaps obtained elsewhere. Meet
ing him next day, he was instantly
aware there was trouble in the wind
by the opening remark, What do pike
feed on, PaddyY' "Och and indade,
your honor, but there's mighty little
that comes amiss TO thin lads" he an
swered. Frogs and fish, sticks and
shtones they like well, but they would
give their two eyes for fatirons"-
English Country Gentleman.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

Many years ago, before the produc-
tion of grain was equal TO the demand,
wages Of farm hands were high, but as
production Increased the prices low
cred faster than the rate of wages.
4 farmer employed an industrious
lrIshman for five years nj the rate Of
$50 a month and found board. lodS
Of the term he said 10 his man:
Il can't afford To pay you the wages
have been paying You have saved
money, ana have saved nothing. At
this rate you viii soon own my farm"
"THyn III hire vote work for me, ,"
said the other. and you can get your
farm back again" Success.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

HE won't propose again in hun
dred years." she bemoaDed herself,
"and no wonder, be don't want TO risk
another snub. He did tell me to let
him know If l changed my mind.
hate to like fun, but
One golden afternoon when both
were sitting in an unusually pensive
mood upon Mrs. Bittersweets porch
the Widows heart suddenly prompted
her to a little prospecting.
"Mr. Larkins," she said softly, do
you ever change your mind"
No" returned Mr.. Larkins plumply.
Not without solid reason"
"We-eu," she continued, holding her
breath at her own boldness, would
you still like me -er-be-be"-
Her meaning rushed through Mr..
Larkins like streak of electricity. He
sprang out Of his lolling attitude at a
bounce.
Polly, If you're asking me If I'd like
you TO be my wife. say yes-yes-
yes didn't dare TO ask you again,
but you've a perfect right to ask me,
even If | hadn't told you to. for It's
leap-why, Polly, love, what's the mat
ter? You're as pale as ashes. What
is 1t, darling"
"Why, I've actually as good as asked
you to marry me-" gasped Polly, Just
what I've always declared I'd die rath-
er than do! oh, WELL" as Alonzo's
arm stole protectlngly around her
waist 81 guess l was excusable this
time, But, Alonzo, listen. Don't you
ever, the longest day vou live. let Hen
rletta Podderly know l did twill
your"
Never vowed Alonzo, kissing her
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

preston, for the man seemed well con
tent with his lot. And yet he was not
In need Of shelter, as are some who
seek arrest He was entirely sober
and Investigation proved that he had
given up well paid position for a
petty offcnse, the theft Of an article
that must have been useless to him.
The jail doors creaked TO admit him
once more. He settled down cOzily
in his quarters, affably friendly to
some Of his old time comrades.
Days slipped by, and restlessness
came over him, although he was the
same orderly prisoner as ever. AT last
he approached the Jailer
'Why don't you give me my old job,
sir" he asked anxiously
"Oh, you had the flower beds, didn't
youJ That's SO. Want them again,
do you?"
"Oh, please, sir" Page replied, his
face as eager as a child's.
Next day found him out in the sun
shine, shears and trowel in hand.
The flower beds surrounded the next
building, which was the woman's sec
tion of the jail Page approached his
work nCrvously and went about trim
ming the roses in preoccupied man
ner At every sound lie started.
\ light step came up the walk. Page
jumped TO his feet as he recognized
the sound of il
Polly" he cried and seized n girls
hands In his
Joy and sorrow mingled in her face
"Oh, Bill, you're back after you swore
to me you'd never drink again" she
cried
Il haven't touched drop, Polly"
he answered. and his words rang true.
1T was for stealin'! he cried Joyfully.
'Stcaling" she gasped In horror.
"YcS- don't you see-an honest steal.
right back and gave Mrs Van Worst
the money to pay for the bottle
broke doin' it, | had TO run the bluff,
Polly. | couldn't stay away from you
any longer. Amt you glad to see me.
little girlY'
Il don't know" she said, perplexed.
'Now well be here together Just
like we used to be when we first got
to know each other. We can see each
other every day until you get out, and
mines only week after that. Well
see each other when you have your
walk, for I've got the flower beds
again. And I've reformed since you
talked to me-ain't touched drop.
Polly, on my honor l ain't-and when
we get out I'll be as sober as a Judge,
and you'll never steal another penny,
poor little girl. cause your mother IL
never be starvtn' again. She's all
right Polly. l left her plenty of mon
ey. And we'll have that house with
the grass in front, and We'll be happy
to beat the band. 1t won't be so long
to wait, little girl-there, there, don't"
And her tears found refuge on his
chnuIdar
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

you've got TO see me and appreciate
me. Then if You choose to take advan-
tage of leap year privileges I don't
really know as I'll run away"
Meantime Mrs. Bittersweet's atten-
ton had been directed TO Mr.. Larklns
by her friend, Miss Podderly.
Hes the smartest man in Bibb-
ville," said she, and got everything in
his house a woman's heart could wish,
from gas ranges to teaspoons, not to
mention scuds Of blue and white ware
saucepans. But seems like he's afraid
some woman II marry him in spite Of
himself l guess he's too bashful to
ask any one But believe In my heart
you could overcome the difficulty, Pol
ly If you'd set your cap good and
strong"
"Set fiddlestick" retorted Polly
Bittersweet scornfully. "Tn never set
my cap for any man"
"Well," said Miss Podderly. with Il
shrug, Il wish l had the opportunities
you turn up your nose at 50 reck
lessly"
Mr.. Larklns finally grew decidedly
discontented and a little puzzled.
II don't understand you, ma'am," he
admitted In one of his mental apostro-
phes to the widow. 81 have so far
modified my views as to give you ev-
cry opportunity to signify your wish
TO become Mrs. Larkins, and yet you're
as cool and calm as a bale of snow.
I'm not used to II, ma'am, and / won't
stand 1t. I'll give you three weeks
more to get interested in me, and then
I'll take and propose to you. That's
about what III do"
When the allotted three weeks Of
grace had expired Mr.. Larkins in des-
peration executed his threat and re
ceived a plump "Non' the result Of
Miss Podderly's championship and
streak Of contrarlness I'm the Widows
disposition.
He accepted the sentence with visi-
BILE disappointment, but bore 1t with
manly fortitude.
Pm sorry, ma'am," he said frankly,
tearing sorry. I've taken more Of
shine to you, somehow, than l ever did
to any one, and I'd be good to YOU you
can bank on that But if you can't like
me you can't There, now, madam;
don't go and cry-don't | wouldn't
hurt your feelings for forty farms"
For the widows heart all at once had
smitten ner sharply, and some subtle
path0s In Nj. Lardns' simple accept
nnc@ of defeat caused her eyes to brim
with misty tears
I'm 10000 sorry" she faltered
blushing and sobbing, e
Don't mention it," implored Mr.
Larkins. Don't you be miserable or
blue about it. But if you should-kind
Of change your mind, you know.
ma'am, just let me know, won't your
Mr.. LarlJns divcd hcadlong into his
garden patch and hoed vigorously to
distract his thoughts, and the widow
sat down on the edge of her porch and
swung her neat little foot deJectedIy.
Il do believe Pm half wittcd." said
she under her breath. u dare say I've
lost as good a man as I'll ever meet,
and all because Henrietta IOdderly
told me to run after him | needn't
have run after him, but ! could have
thrown him away, and l Amt half as
smart as | thought | was. I'm lonely
and miserable, woo-oo-oo.' Mrs. Bit
terswcet ran into her sitting room and
cried as heartily as Mr.. Larl,ius hocd.
After that she smiled sunuily when
ever she met him. He smiled genially.
The widow daily became more lone
some and more convinced that she had
discarded q conEenial spirit
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
Baron RothAchiId's Pun.

owen Wister, the novelist was talk
ing about puns. IL detest puns," he
said, but Fanny Kemble who was my
grandmother used to tell one made by
a certain Baron Rothschild that was
good of its kind The baron was din
ing out, and some one spoke Of veni-
son. L. said the baron, never eats
venlshon. think 1t ish not so coot ash
mutton oh, absurdr some one ex-
claimed. If mutton is better than ven
ison, why isn't It more expensiveY
The baron laughed. overcome by the
brilllancy Of the pun that had just
come to him. Then he said, and his
dialect came in very handy, The rea-
son why venishon ish more expensive
than mutton ish that the peoples al
ways prefer vat ish deer TO vat is
sheep"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

Theodor Mommscn, the famous his
torian, had not only the appearance
during the half hours drive from Ber-
lin to Charlottenburg the car in which
the professor rode went badly off the
track. The rest Of the passengers
alighted, the horses were removed and
the stranded car was left until help
could be found Mommsen remained,
reading his book. An hour passed, and
the sound Of levers and jacks and the
plunging of horses hoofs aroused him
from his revcrie. With no sign of dis
composure he arose from his seat and
went TO the door. "Ah," said he, 1--WE
seem to have come to a standstill"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
Maine Counties.

The three original counties of Maine
had good old English county names,
York, Cumberland and Lincoln. Only
two, oxford and Somerset, have been
similarly named since, all the rest hav-
ing good American appellations. For
the names of Androscoggin, Aroostoo&,
Kennebec, PenObScot, Piscataquis and
SagadHhoc find their origin among the
aborigines, while Franklin, Hancock,
Knox and Washington bear the names
of distinguished Americans of the
white race
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

A number OF actors were discussing
recently the merits of different board
ing houses in certain city, and the
argument turned on the comparative
meagerness OF the table board provid-
ed by the various landladies. One Of
the party who had listened quietly to
the talk now spoke up.
III one of you fellows really wants to
put yourself on rigid diet" he said,
''go to Mrs IS boarding house in
Cincinnati. came down TO breakfast
there one morning, and the servant
watzed up and asked me II I'd have
ham or eggs. | said didn't want to be
graspin@ and ordered the yolk of an
egg said I'd have the white OF II for
lunch. Harper's Weekly.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

Eternity is incomprehensible. When
the LATEST snail has carted every drop
Of water IN all our oceans and every
grain OF sand in all our lands to the
farthest away star and brought 1t all
back again, stopping for n century
rest at each planet on the way both
ways, then will we see the first rays
in the east OF the beginning.
This being the case. It is suggested
that we don't cram ourselves with this
worlds foods and drink 50 much of
earthly water that it will take. half Of
the everlasting TO get our systems in
shape to enjoy what's left Of eternity.
-Hayfield Mower.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
lie Likes Mothers-in-Invy.

That mother in law is not always
an unwclcome adjunct to the family
is proved In wholesale way I'm the
case Of Eayarian who Is steward on
Il large estate In Monaco. He lost two
wives, but in both instances after their
death he retained the mothers -in-luw,
ANA now he has taken unto himself
wife No. g. who comes into his home
accompanied by her mother AZ wen as
women who constitute his household
are said to dwell together in peace and
harmony.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

In 1874 a fishing smack off one Of the
Shetland isles was struck by light
ming during a fierce storm. The bolt
first struck the mast, which It splin-
tered completely. 1t then passed TO a
watch I'm the pocket of man sitting
close TO the mast and completely melt
ed It, The man not only was unin-
Jured, but he did not know what had
taken place till he took his watch from
his pocket and found it fused into
mass.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
-BLOOMSBURG DIVISION

tEON UU
DAILY tDaily except Sunday.
fStops on signal or OH notice TO conductor
Stops on signal TO take on passengers iol
New York, Binghamton and p oints west.
It. +. CLARKE Il. W. LEE
Gen. Superintendent. Gen.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11

Weekdays. Daily. Flag station.
Pullman Parlor and Sleeping Cars run on
through trains between STcbury, Williamsport
and Erie between Sunbury au5 Philadelphia
and Washington and between Harrisburg, Pitts
burg and the West.
For further information apply TO Ticket Agents
W. W. ATTERBURY, j. X. WOOD
Gen1 Manager. Pass. TratfcMg
GRO, w boy, Gen'l Passenger Agent,
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-11
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD,
TIME TABLE

In Effect Nov. 29th, 1903.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1904-01-28
SHIP SUBSIDIES AGAIN.

Representative GrOsvenOr has, in
accordance with the procrastination
plan Of the administration, favOrably
reported a bill providing for a COM
mission to consider the question OF
ship subsidy. The proposed COM
mission is to keep on considering the
question until after the November
election, when it may bring in a re-
port. If such tactics deceive the
voters, then indeed they deserve to
be deceived. 1t is the intention of
the shipbuilders to secure subsidies
after the November election on the
Hanna or speed basis. The tonnage
basis is not needed in their business.
The truth is, what the country
! needs is a change in the navigation
act. The shipbuilders have COM
bined to prevent American registry
to any foreign built vessel. 1t is the
I shipbuilders against the merchants
of the country. If the merchants OF
the country were permitted to buy
; ships where they al buy them the
cheapest, the tonnage under the
American flag would be increased
fast enough, and our products would
, soon be carried in our own vessels
: The shipbuilding combine will not
, however, permit this. They wan
their present monopoly clinched anC
promoted by bounties taken from
the pockets of the merchants whom
they now forbid to buy ships in thu
markets of the world. Anything
checker than the Hanna subsid,
!, plan has not been developed. Ever
: Dingleyism contains nothing worse
The Grosvenor bill is a bill to kee]
alive the Hanna subsidy plan agains
the meeting of congress after the No
vember election. The shipbuilders
monopoly is behind the movement
and it proposes to stay there until i
gets a share of the general grab by
the few at the expense of the many
The effort is but an expansion of tn
methods and robber principles Q
Dingleyism.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1904-01-28

The family of Mrs. NJ. l.. Bobbitt,
of Bargerton, Tenn. saw her dying
aud were poNerless to save her. The
most skillfuI physicians and every
remedy used, failed, while consump-
ton Was slowly but surely taking her
life In this terrible hourDr Kings
New discovery for Consumption
turned despair into Joy. The tir~t
bottle brought immediate relief and
its continued use completely cured
her. It's the most certain cure in
the world for all throat and lung
troubles. Guaranteed bottles SOC. and
$1.00. Trial bottles free at J. IL.
Hill & Sons drug store.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1904-01-28
JAMES SMITHSON.

The body of James Smithson,
founder of the Smithsonian Institu-
ton, has arrived in New York from
Genoa, Italy. 1t will be taken to
Washington, and there reinterred
beside the noted structure which
bears his name.
James SmIthson was an English
man, and was the natural son of the
first Duke of Northumberland by
Elizabeth, niece of the Duke of Som
erset. He was therefore a lineal de-
scendant of Henry VII.
With the bar sinister on his escut-
cheOn, Smithson became a wanderer
on the face Of the earth, and travelled
through many countries, including
the United States. Always the
gathering and diffusion of knowledge
was uppermost in his mind. In 1927
he died at Genoa, and was buried in
the quiet old cemetery, where the
messy monuments tell of vanished
names and proud clans of long ago.
AT his death James Smithson left
his entire fortune-about half a mil
lion dollars-to the government of the
United States ssto found at Washing
ton, under the name of the Smith
sonian Institution, an establishment
for the increase and diffusion O
knowledge among men," The
none was brought to this country
in 1O5 bags, each containing one
thousand gold sovereigns. To-day
the income from that legacy is $50,
900 per annum, and the institution
which grew up around it disburse
, annually about $500 600.
James SmithSOn is said to hav
b0asted that his name would surviv
, after the Percys and the Northum
, berlands had passed into the shadoN
f of the long forgotten. 1t may yet b
. 50. 1t may be that when traveller
3 from Australasia draw pictures of til
e broken arches of London Bridge, tn
Smithsonian Institution at Washing
Y ton will still be a potent influence
q the advancement of learning anon
mankind.