The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-01-01
DER GERMAN
COBBLER
New Day Policeman on the Beat Inform,
Hans What Is Expected of Him
Copyright. 1893, by c. B. Lauia.

man on our beat comes in my
~ place to introduce himself.
had six shoes to mend unt
WAS singing und happy. Dot police
mans stands in der door und sweIIs
oudt his stomach und coughs like some
great mans und says:
"Dutchy, / vhas der new day patrol
man on dis beat, und like to speak
few words to YOU"
My name vhas Hans" I says.
Don't you talk back to me- old
mans. I say your name vhas Dutchy.
und What l say goes. haf heard of
you. You vhas mans who should
be taken down peg or two now und
den, und / vhas here to do It. You
must understands sometimes right
AWAY. vhas bigger man dan der
mayor of New York"
"How can dot be?"
What! What! Don't you belief /
vhas? Look oudt, old mans. / vhas
also bigger man dan der governor"
"Vhas dot possible?"
lil show you before week yhas
oafer. i vhas also a bigger mans dan
DER president of der United States.
und when l pass your door you shall
put your hand on your heart und bow
down to me. Haf you got dose things
fxed in your mind?"
"Maype haf," says.
"Dere vhas no maybe aboudt ber
tou shust remember who vhas. or II
Will be bad for YOU Der odder mans
on dis beat vhas changed off because
ne don't feel bigger ash an aldermans
und let miflionaires be too familiar init
him. Don't you get it in your head
I vhas dot kind of man. Der mans
who tries to get familiar NIT me vhill
haf some broken heads right AWAY.
Don't you eafer speak NIT me unless I
gif you leaf to do so. Haf you got dot
fixed in der top of your head?"
won't speak to you at ALL" says.
What! Vhatw he yells oudt ash he
grows red I'm der face. "By golly, but
II you don't speak to me all der time
i shall send you oop to Sing Sing for
dfe years! Tell me you yhi1l spean-
me--tell me queekp
"Vhell. den. shall speak NIT yon -
Look oudt, old mnns--,-....- - vuul! 1ou
xhasI Ip,.~.--s1usm NIT mighty big buzz
saw. Let me tell you some more. II |
you like to keep frfendts niit me you |
vhill hal q growler Of beer here SO dot |
can drink ash pass by. Being q great |
mans und walking oop und down makes |
me thirsty, und It vhas for common |
peoples to buy me beer. You shust fix |
dat in your mind or dere WINS some |
troubles. Haf you some growler now 2"
~ don't belief hat, but haf some |
49, l~~ l&A Al, a.. =
You can help yourself"
"Waterl Water! BY dot big hae1
spoon, but IL you talk dot vhaH min
you vhas a cripple for lifesbme rnree-
utes! Do you Deiler VI water7 You
year-oid 1wier cn1s9i reody in one hour or
Mi ..,,ir heart shall aphe. Dere vhas some
t,ines else to speak of, und you listen TO
mo md Idon't draw your breath While
talk. shall expect you to keep "y
shoes I'm repair mitout cost 10 me uhu
he glad to do 1t, und you can pegih 10,
morrow. You shall 6x 'em oop ASH gooo
a sb new und of der VERY best leather.
shall also bring some shoes FOR my
wife und children und maype Tor some
friendts of mine. You shall make goou
tobs Of II or you shall hear from me.
Do you understand, Dutchy, or must l
20 at 1t und sandpaper dot old head OF
yours? Der work bring In shall Keep
you busy all der time"
r don't work for nobody for not
t,nps.n tells him. "If works for not
tings who buys my leather und pays
INV rent und how does my family liver,
.vhatl vhatp' he yells ash he almost
shumps oop und down. $50 haf found
a ,nan who defies me to my face, haf IL
By my soul, but do you know you Vnas
on der edge % der grave und dot ID Ten
seconds more you vhas corpseI Listen
HAZE tMAV p0iNT