The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-02-14
DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC
LAUNORIES PROPOSED
Freak Bill introduced in Congress
by an Irrepressible Single
Tax Democrat


Special TO the Indianapolis Journal
WASHINGTON, Feb. I-"That an ex-
ecutive department. of public Iaundries is
hereby created
THAT the Office Of secretary OF public
1aundries is hereby created.
That In addition to the general duties of
the secretaries of public laundries the spe-
cial duties Of that public agent shall be
as follows:
''First-To establish public laundres in all
parts OF this Republic and operate them in
such a way that the water in the tubs will
be changed with each new lot of clothing"
This is one Of the provisions of bill just
introduced by the irrepressible Robert
Baker. the single tax" Democrat from
New York. Baker is one of the most
pestiferOus members of the lower branch
OF Congress. He wants to bask in the
white light Of publicity. and cares not
how he accompiishes his purpose. He de-
votes several hundred words in the Con-
gressional Directory narrating his political
career, stating that on one occasion he
was nominated for sheriff, but the Repub-
Hcans refused to indorse him as unfit &"
This Endorsement is we'll founded if Bakers
recent performances in Congress are TO be
accepted a reflex of his past antics in
the world OF politics.
The measure introduced by Baker creat-
ms a secretary Of public laundries pro-
vides for forty-five new executive depart
meDts. Here is a part of the preamble:
Whereas The enactment of this bill
means public employment for everybody
who wants IL, and
Whereas. The enactment OF this bill
means industrial freedom for the working
world, and,
Whereas. The enactment of this bill
means public industries. in competition with
whereas, The enactment of this bill
means that the whole people have right
IN nTNr hrTCf for 1lh faY- anEf hat QF1yy
part OF the people have the right TO do for
labor cost and profit, etc"
THE DEPARTMENTS.
Among the departments created by the
Baker bill the "freakiest'' measure that
has been offered in this Congress, are the
Departments of Laundries, Fluids, Public
Farms. Public Buildings. Public Fisheries.
Public Forces. Public Methods. Public
Sciences, Public Invention, Public Period
icals. Public Fairs. Public Amusements.
Public Hotels, Public Penitentiaries and
Public Relations.
No reference Is made to Intoxicating bev-
erageS in that portion OF the bill relating
to the Department of Fluids. On the con-
trary Baker speaks only of water, and for
that reason the measure was not referred
- 70 the committee on the alcoholic liquor
THAT an executive Department Of Pub
lie Fluids Is hereby created reads the bill
The duties Of the secretary OF public fluids
ere deflned as fOllOWS:
To catch rain water and store il in large
tanks or cisterns above and below the sur
face of the ground.
ITO distill water and supply it to the peo-
pie, when cool, in glass vessels; and
TO freeze pure water and place Ii in
drinking coolers where il can be used by
the people for drinking purposes when IL
melts.
ITO construct reservoirs in the mountains
for the purpose of storing snow and water
and distributing it over the plains TO the
people In their various habltatons."
The millennium will have come when the
provisions of the Baker bill dealing with
the conduct or the executive departments
are adopted.
If Baker had his way he would compel
heads or departments to resign whenever
any considerable number of the patrons or
employees OF their respective departments
shall demand their removal from said Of
fees at the hands of the President OF the
Baker has peculiar ideas relative to the
salaries Of government clerks, and as TO
the number OF holidays that should be
given them. If he had his way he would
see TO 1t that each employe was paid
daily. weekly, monthly or quarterly, as
they may each decide, not less than "a per
day OF four hours each, as we'll as granted
leave OF absence, with full pay, for one day
after working three days; for one week
after working three weeks; for one month
after working three months; for one year
after working three years. during the con-
ttnuance or voluntary public employment.
The organization OF Grand Army OF La
Dor Is proposed. The head of this depart
ment would be directed to establish
agencies at each postoffice for the purpose
Army Of Labor of this Republic. the object
being 10 secure the highest results at the
lowest possible cost in human energy.
Under the Baker bill the railroads and
telegraph companies would take to the
tall timber. Telephones would only cost
81 year and the citizen of the Republic
could telegraph 100 words 1900 miles for 10
cents.
Baker would require the secretary of fish
70 frh nd razh nd q
FISH, and to locate, preserve and develop
the fish of the Republic"
FREE ROADS.
Baker would provide free roads for free
people whether corporation roads have to
be seized condemned. appraised and pur-
chased by due process OF law or not
Baker would require the land TO be so laid
out that when houses are built the sun
shine would enter every window on the
outside and thus do away with the green
moss on the north side of the new houses
In the new civilization. far possible.
by suggestion bat not by comparison; for
IL any person wants the old order of things.
by all means let that person have il until
he wants 10 change and thus keep up with
mankind in its march TO the millennium. -
The secretary OF public amusements is
directed TO provide public amusement for
the people of the highest excellence at
the lowest possible expense. and to exhibit
a
matters as the managers OF private enter
: prises of a similar character but all pub
lie theaters shall be supplied with non
infiammabe material.
Travellers will be interested in the provi-
sions relating TO public hotels. Baker
would require the government to "estab-
iish and operate public hotels and eating
places OF all kinds IN all parts of the Re
public for the purpose OF supplying the
people with public hotel service for the
highest excellence at the lowest possible
cost
Fiat money, department OF public
baths. the construction OF ship canals, here
there and everywhere, are among the other
things proposed by the Baker BILL
The measure concludes with these words /:
THAT all laws and parts OF laws In con-
hict herewith be. and they are hereby re-
pealed, and this act shall be In effect when
approved"
The bill has been referred 70 the COM
mittee on interstate and foreign commerce
II will be consigned TO the files, where In
years 10 come II will be regarded as an
illustration OF freak legislat ton" proposed
by freak legislator OF the year 1904
Baker Is the man VINO achieved some
notoriety by his refusal 10 accept an annual
pass from an Eastern railway company
Ne became so incensed at this clandestine
effort 10 influence his judgment on public
questions that he announced his intention
or Offering a resolution OF INJURY. In the
dull mon0tony Of the routine proceedings
In the House the jester from Brooklyn is
the only ray Of sunshine observable on the
legislative horizon. JOHN L. MONK.