The Wichita daily eagle., 1904-04-19
ALGERNON AND THE WIDOW

-~NSeS>~-0~~~~~~Oo~r>o~~
''Sit down Ablnelech, sit down, and
make yourself happy, Algernon Spank
er, grandson of the once well-lSnown
Lady Gay Spanker, said to gentleman
of an eastern cast of features, as he put
own the last photograph OF Lena de
Courthose. the celebrated baller!na of
the Fantastic theater, on which he had
brn gazing rapturously. What can L
do for you?''
Sit down! exclaimed Mr.. Abime-
lech, though he suited the action to the
word; land what can you do for me-?
Well, l neveri You are a cool one. DO
for me-. You've pretty wen done for
me already. Here, look at these, and
the ringletted gentlemen began to push
set of very much ringed fingers into
the breast pocket of an excellently tit.
ting frock coat. Do for me-! -
Don't you produce those old accept
ances of mine again, or I'll snatch them
out of your hand and burn them in the
gas stove,'' Algernon Spanker ex-
claimed Every time you come here
you keep pulling them out of your pock-
ct and waving them before my eyes,
and then pushing them back in your
pocket again. Soon they will be worn
out, thank goodness, and then your last
claim on me will be gone. Have a peg
and a cigarette. They'll do you good.
That's what you want
mo, don't. want e10,0Oo."
That all. Don't you wish you may
get it?-I mean them -
Il do. You got it-I mean them ~
6,7r. I 81
awful champagne that made my friends
curse the hour of my birth, a picture
that looked like a Rubens and a spav-
lned horse. The rest is all for interest
and Expenses and renewals Oh lord.
] suppose we must do another"
: You won't do me. I'm a-going before
the court. I'm not going to be kept out
OF my money any longer. | want it. and
I mean to have it-some of it, anyhow"
How are you going to get it? 1 have
Dot got any money. This fat is hired
furnished I've got nothing except my
watch and your old spawned horse, who's
out aa grass somewhere. You can have
these if you like"
you've got some prospects, I ear"
Abimelech said. with an oleaginous
smile. Very fine prospects, very nice
prospects indeed. Lady Tiptoft, your
grandmother, is 81, and she's got a nice
little bit"
with twelve sons, each having
twelve sons of his own. I'm one of Them
AS l was going to st. Ives. met man
with seven wives" Algernon quoted
lightly and appropriately.
''Oh. shut up for eaven's sake, But
you've got other prospects. What about
Mrs. Washfish?"
'oh. Mrs. Washfsh! All, Yes There's
prospect Eh?'
Il should think there was. She just
adores the ground you put your patent
feathers on. You'll haze to marry her.
She's worth a million. Then you can
pay them acoeptances. You must marry
her"
I'm afraid 1 must. 1 really am. oh, !
lord. what win all the girls say? Let /
me see. There's Laura and Dora, and /!
Kitty, and-and Lena de Courthose-and 1
-
Never mind them. You can think
about them after you have hooked Mrs. |
Washfish.''
Il want some ready money to go on
precious long one Mother, I'm too young
TO marry Algernon burst out singing.
''Oh, do be sensible, Never mind about
FOUR old fifth-rate music hall songs. You
Want some ready money? How are you
gong to get it? And to pay me?'
Algernon thought for a moment. Then
Suddenly he said: III tell you. Hand
Ever those acceptances."
Not me. What do you take me for?"
Hind them over. Have you got any
blank ones in your pocket?"
Rather. It's my business. What are
vou up to now? You are so sharp that
] don't know where 1 am"
iii show you. Out with the blank
ones. Out with the fountain pen and
Ink your pretty fingers. Go ahead Do
what ] tell you. Write what 1 tell you,
and I'll sign. Fire away"
Mr. Abimelech did fire away at the
issltsome Algernon's dictation. while in
as he did so. oh, / say You
do know something. You are a wonder.
And connected with the nobility, too
for all the world as if no one connected
with the nobility could be a wonder. or
have any brains in his head)
Got them all down. Bimmy?" Alger-
non asked, after the bin discounter had
his suggestions. Every one
of them, eh?"
"All of them. One for $500, another