, 1904-08-10
MAN ABOUT
TOWN
z Writes a Few Paragraphs
TO Amuse Himself and TO
Bore Others
BY OUR spEo1Ah CORRESPONDENT

BY L SPEcIAL CORRESPONDENT
1t affords me unbounded pleasure to
take my pen in hand to announce to
the readers of the JOURNAL the fact
that have been permitted to become a
special correspondent to this worthy
paper.
Although my experience as a news
paper man is nil, yet | have always
hankered after writing aud | think my
natural ability in literary lines will far
overbalance all of my other weak
nesses.
A man told me the other day that
Five Mile Beach was growing. This
was no surprise to me but | simply re-
peat the statement SO that those who
have not perceived the fact may now
realize.
A very interesting thing happened in
North Wildwood one night last week.
The electrical sign over the North
Wildwood land office, which nightly
photographs its message on the minds
of hundreds, was out of order apparent
ly. 1t usually reads:
OFFICE
NORTH WILDWOOD
On this particular evening it read:
ICE
NORTH WILDWOOD
proving that that resort was very cool
in contrast to the extreme heat in the
other parts of the island. | noticed
numerous people fiocking up the board
walk in that direction, and judging
from their facial expressions, they were
after North Wildwood ICE.
Some fellow with green eyes and hair
parted in the middle grabbed me by the
collar the other day and said he had
something to tell me. He asked me if
[ was any good at answering mathe-
NAUTICAL riddles. / said yes and he
bombarded me with the following: aft
papa kicks at paying eight cents a
quart for milk to feed the baby, how
many nutmegs will it take to decorate
the milk punch the night he has his
bachelor friends in for a poker game?
1t was too much for me and / tried to
escape but to no avail. "Here's an
other he said "If it costs the family
$50 a week to board at a seashore hotel
and $40 a week to eat at home, how
much cheaper is it to board if the wo-
men folks are tired of cooking ?" This
was the limit. l gasped, "let me go OF
I'll call a policeman" He let go. I'll
never tell any one | can answer mathe-
NAUTICAL riddles again.
Among the latest fads of the sum
mer girls are sun-burned initials on theil
arms. Short sleeves, initials cut from
black court plaster and affixed to The
arm, and the sun will do the rest; leav.
ing the letters in pink and white Oh
the sunburned skin.
Queer things do happen occasionally
An elderly man walked into the Five
Mile Beach Journal Office last week and
glancing around inquired: sis this
the New York Journal office ?" When
given a negative reply he seemed quite
disappointed, and walked III of the
office without a word.
On Saturday evening when the crowds
were here, there and everywhere on the
boardwalk and Casino, several young
and mischievous boys were having real
sport and enjoying themselves hugely
at the expense of others. They had
found several broken chairs and would
prop them up in a conspicuous place on
The pier. AS soon as the innocent look.
ing chairs would be discovered by 8
person looking for a seat, they would
be taken hold of, falling to pieces as
soon as touched. To add to the confu-
sion of the unsuspecting victims, the
boys would laugh and shout, calling the
attention of the crowd at large to the
dilemma. Fully fifteen persons became
victims TO the pranks of the boys.
"Boys will be boys"
Muddy crossings have caused one
wildwood man a lot of explaining
One evening after the recent hard rains
which left the street crossings i'll a mud
dy condition this particular man was
trying to navigate his way across
Pacific He stepped on a board
apparently placed in the road for the
convenience of pedestrians, the board
slipped and he slid-plump into the
mud. That was bad enough but
imagine his feelings when he gathered
himself together and again started fol
the other side only to see some of his
friends in the dim distance coming his
way. The recognition was mutual.
He made an effort TO speak but his
tongue Glove to the roof of his mouth,
for all of his friends walked to the other
side of the street without even a sign OF
recognition. They thought he was in
toxicated although he was never known
TO imbibe before. Matters were eX-
planned satisfactorily next day. Heis a
wise man now. Moral: Some people
can appear drunk when crossing mud
puddles.