davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

p0rtant question as TO Whetner the
Chinese should be required to eat
snowballs or cotton bolls. To be sure
the Chinese went right on eating
rice the same as ever, but that didn't
stop the war. OF course Sammy en-
listed and he made very good SOL
der. too, only he would insist on
getting up at 2 o'clock in the morn
Ing instead OF waiting for reveille.
The king of the North Pole had
invaded the United States with an
army of 100000 polar bears, and
the circuses and geological gardens
clamored loudly for protection. The
bears had landed on the coast very
hungry and very thirsty and threat
ened to eat up everything between
Albany and San Diego.
The general Of the American army
was very much alarmed. He looked
over all of his text books and histo-
ries. but there were no details of a
plan of campaign against polar bears.
1--WE are lost" he cried.
Don't cry" said Sammy II will
saw vui oSioNVu anu us Cir
cuses"
"You!" said the general. What can
you do?"
you forget that I am a milkman,"
said Sammy.
The next morning Sammy got out
his red wagon and delivered milk
to all the polar army. and shortly
afterwards the Americans fell upon
them, bound every one of them and
delivered them to the circuses, for
they were all curled up like dead
caterpillars and could not offer the
least resistance. The secret of 1t
was that Sammy had placed a few
drops of Condensed Fucker" into
every can of milk instead of the
usual formaldehyde.
The polar army was captured, but
the king Of the North Pole was an.
grier than ever. He ordered out
his entire naval force consisting Of
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10
HARRIET q fRANcLr

Sadie and l and two other girls,
All had a picnic today.
In bathtub small we swimmed
around
At least we played that way.
We stuck up tent of cabbage leaves
But the tent would only hide her tail,
The leaves they were SO thin
We set the table with paper plates
Markd round on the paper cloth,
And the fun was great when we tried
to eat
From those plates our "scalding.
broth.
We had an apple cut twice in two,
While the crackers came tumbling
round,
And we chased the kitty. who spoiled
her tent,
BY strewing 1t over the ground.
Then mamma called and we hurried
in.
Just stopping outside the door
TO whisper low, Come over again,
tomorrow well picnic more"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

five million seven hundred and TWEEN
ty-nine thousand four hundred and
fifty-two icebergs and a dismantled
whaling ship, and started the entire
fleet toward the United States.
AS the fleet neared America. 1t
made the weather so cold that the
cream froze in the sailors coffee.
Sammy was very sorry he was out of
business and was missing the chance
to charge his customers for ice
cream. For Sammy had now Joined
the navy. and he made a very good
sailor. too, except for his bad habit
OF grumbling that the sea was too
blue. He said it was an outrage
upon the consumer to deliver any
liquid as blue as that.
The American admiral could find no
way to fight the polar navy. TIL peo-
pie were in great distress. the soda
water fountains were closed, the ice
trust made an assignment and the
cold storage plants were burned for
fuel. The admiral was about to
strike his colors when Sammy inter,
fered. Il cannot allow it, Admiral"
Sc sobbed; that red is the red of
our patriots blood, that white the
white of our country's purity. that
blue the blue of my milk Allow
me to save them"
Howl" asked the admiral
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10
SPOKANE Wash. May 8. 1894.
Medical Lake Salts Mfg. Co,

SPOKANE, WASH:
Gentlemen--About a wear ago !
was troubled with infiammatorJ
rheumatism in my feet and was com
PEELED to so about with a cane. and
suffered a great deal during that time.
A gentleman told me of Medical Lake
Salts. which he said were good for
that disease. l tried the Salts for
six days and found It to be success
full. l bathed my feet once every night
in hot water In which the salts had
been dissolved and then wrapped my
feet In wooden cloths, did this for
six days and ON the sixth day was
able T. walk without a cane. can
recommend It to any one for that
purpose and appreciate. tho fact that
I helped me. Yours truly.
JNO. n. BLACKBURN.
Room .. Ricardo.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

tneSe Victories, the president, the
general and the admiral were in the
reviewing stand, and the hearts of
the people were bursting with sup,
pressed enthusiasm. True. they had
bands and megaphones and steam
whistles and calliopes and even a
bevy of boys with fish horns. but, as
the president said in his speech,
What we long for is one shrek of
victory to sound from ocean to ocean,
but that, alas! we cannot have"
yes, we cam" shouted Sammy
from the crowd.
Who's interrupting me?" demand
ed the presidents
"Your excellency," said the general,
ut is the audacious youth who dared
to offer ME- advice in the hour of my
victory"
Your worship" said the admiral,
sit Is the young upstart who also In
terrupted ME just as l had perfected
plans to sweep the enemy from my
seas"
"Ah, hal" said the president, this,
'hNi'' 10 Jul 'iiaice 10 PUNISH MS Inns
pertinent habit of Interfering. Come
forward, young man, and make good
your boast
so Sammy stepped to the platform
and opened his bottle of "Liquefied
Sound" which gave forth THE Red,
White and Blue" in such blast that
II was heard clear up at the north
pole. which so impressed the king
that he sent special courier to beg
fer cotton boil. which he promised
to eat In token of his allegiance.
AS for the Americans, they were
so delighted that they elected Sammy
president Of the prohibition ticket.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10
SparroWs "Llck" a Cat

big Baltimore cat captured a
young sparrow, but before she could
eat it about 100 older sparrows tack
led her. The cat ran, pursued by
the birds. and finally found shelter
in hotel She had dropped the
young bird in the meantime.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

Little Sam Hill has an older
brother. Tom, who was a whistler in
q vaudeville show. His brothers
name was Signor Tomtomasso del
Misunderstanding, the human flute,
but little Sans name was just Sam
Hill, and he couldn't whistle a note.
When Sam was born a fairy from
Fayetteville. Ark. appeared to his
mother and offered her any gift she
might wish for the new baby, and
his mother. being very angry with
his elder brother for having become
a vaudevlllian. when he might have
been a milkman and driven his own
red wagon. hastily wished that Sam
might never whistle note.
every well, said the fairy and went
out through the keyhole. The next
day she came with three bottles la
belled Condensed Fucker" Essence
Of Wind" and "Liquefied Sound"
Take care Of these" said the fairy,
"they contain your sons whistling
powers"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

Three thousand Smiths are holding a
family reunion in New Jersey. This is
a case in which there is something in .
! name.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

Avoid serious results of kidney or
bladder disorder by taking Foiey's
Kidney Cure. Sold by Chas. McNab.
402 Riverside avenue.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

rFoley's Kidney Cure makes the dis
eased kidneys sound so they will
eliminate poisons from the blood
Sold by Chas. McNab, 402 Riverside
avenue.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

Here is chunk of wisdom for fight
premoters: You can get would be
champions into the ring, but You can't
make them fight.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

Load your next
shell with this
bottle" said Sam
my, producing his
Essence of Wind"
land fire 1t point
blank at the enc
my. If you wilr
remember what a
t I e m e n d gu 8
amount of wind a
whistling b o Y
blows n the
course of his life,
you will under
stand that when 1t
was all condensed
into one blast the
polar feet was
blown clear into
the desert of Sa-
hara, which was
covered that sum-
mer with a fine
growth of Iceland
moss.
When the time
came to celebrate
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

Now when the
time came for
Sam to make his
fortune, he enter
ed the profession
of milkman. and
was a very good
milkman indeed.
His red wagon.
his white cream
and his blue milk
formed, so delight
a combination that
he was every
where known as
"Kunko Hill, the
patriotic milk
man.
About this time
a terrible war
broke out between
the president of
the United States
and the king of
the North Pole
over the very i'm
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10
AT the COMIQUE
NEXT WEEK.

-NEXT WEEKH-
Owens & Knight, sketch artists, Mona
Montague. singing soubrette; Meyer
& Mason, novelty workers; Alice Cor
don, serio comic: Clements & Nc
Allister, comedy sketch: the original
military drama by Browne & Dia-
mond, in four acts. BLACK Hawk"
assisted by the Comique Stock.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

SOUTH AMERICA.
In southern cline the balmy cocoa,
Prolific grows long -.
Luxuriants the palm upon
The verdant banks of
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

Makes rich, red blood, and muscle
more rapidly than any known rem
edy. It's food for brain and nerves.
That's what HOLSTERS Rocky Noun
let's.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

NORTH AMERICA.
On my vacation, If a trip I
Crave for dear old
But there days l sometimes feel a
Longing for
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10
RGchq Mountain Tea NuQactS

A Busy Medicine for Busy People.
Brings Golden Health and Renewed
vtgor.
\ specific for constipa ton, Indiges-
ton, Liver and Kidney Troubles, Pim-
pies, Eczema, Impure Blood, Bad
Breath. Sluggish Bowels. Headache
and Backache. It's Rocky Mountain
Tea in tablet form, IS cents box.
Genuine made by HOLSTER Drug COM
pany, Madison. Wis.
Golden nuggets for sallow Psokls
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10
Exchange National Bank
or aRoEAN1. WASH.

0ssignatsd Depository uaitsA uea>oe.
SoPitaA VsVUA 00
profits .a13e. ssa ~
e. ]. Dyer. president: CkarISS
Sweeny. vice president; g. II ~.
broom. cashier: w. ~. shaw. assls6s
ant caShieE.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10
Baseball
Spokane vs.. Butte
Tomorrow
Game called at 3:OOp.m.
Some Rivers


AFRICA.
Gill in blanks; answers next week.
IT'S wide and deep, and long, oh,
It's name it is the
And of it's rivers worth the while,
Surely don't forget the $500.
EUROPE.
OF Europes scenic rivers fine,
Does any one surpass the -?
For romances of long ago,
Ip book lore turn to River -.
ASIA.
The Lord endeavored man to please
In garden spot on
Perhaps, you'd like to go and row
Along the heavenly
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-09-10

O1 o&O6A08s WA08.
S@pital ...:.........s..... y300.oeo
Surplus and profits. ........ .S1SO,o&0
A. Kuhn. vice president: Cha. q III.
tinse. cashier: J. Elmer West. assiat-
ant cashier.
Directors-M NJ Cowley, PaAsicn
Clark. James Mona CHAN. A. Kuhn. Az
fred Coolidge. ID. n Drumhellaa. ],
Elmer West
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-03-02

Miss Carrie Gay, of Washing
ton, was the sweet guest of the
Misses Huff a week. She re-
turned home Sunday.
Extra choice golden dent
corn, by the quart or bushel at
the Moss Pharmacy.
Mrs. r. B. Raney, of Crowley
is visiting her parents, DR.. and
Mrs. J. D. Trahan.
LeOnce Gladu made a business
trip to Lake Charles yesterday.
DR.. StrOhmer, of Broussard.
was a pleasant caller at The AID
vertiser office Monday.
Miss Julia Huff left for New
iberia Monday to spend some
time with her sister, Mrs c.. p.
Moss.
Mr.. and Mrs. Biossat and
daughter Inez leave to day for
Alexandria to attend the wed,
ding of Miss Inez Rushing.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-03-02

About the most reckless pro-
ceeding which has taken place in
Lafayette in many a day took
place Saturday night. when two
men for some reason unknown to
the average citizen, raced down
Jefferson street in buggies.
That it is was very dangerous,
especially in such a narrow
street, is self evident, and it is a
great pity that some of the OFF,
GERS were not on hand to arrest
them.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-03-02
The Prescription Drugstore.
City Council.

City Council.
Lafayette, La. February 26, 1904.
A special meeting of the City
Council was held this day, Chas.
D. Caffery, Mayor, presiding.
Members present: A. E. MOutOn,
M. Rosenield. Felix Demanade,
D. V. Gardebled. Absent John
o. Mouton. H. FontenOt.
The Mayor stated the object of
the meeting was to make a final
settlement with Mr.. L. H.
Thompson, for moving buildings
on Pierce and Jefferson streets,
and thereupon Mr.. Thompson
presented to the Council the
following document:
We the undersigned, proprie-
tors respectively of the buildings,
fences, etc., moved by L. H.
Thompson, contractor having in
charge the moving of the build
ings back from Pierce and Jeffer-
son streets, certify hereby that
the said work of removal has
been done by the said Thompson
in a satisfactory manner to our
selves; the said buildings, and
fences. etc., having been placed
in position similar to that in
which they stood at first.
JEROME MOUTON
MRS. B. FALK
MRS. FANNIE SCHMULEN
Nh. G. JEANMARD
Mr.. LOUIS ROHEE
JULES j. MOUTON
IDA MOUTON
w. II. ADAMS
JEAN BRUN
j. E. TRAHAN
as per agreement attached
Ed. G. VOORHEES,.
Moved by F. Demanade, and
seconded by D. v. Gardebled
that in view of the above state
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-03-02
Dereonals.
~ THOSE WHO
{ Il COME and GO.

Mr.. and Mrs. Henry Schuster,
OF Milton, were in Lafayette
Tuesday.
Mrs. Horace Blakesley left
Monday to visit relatives and
friends in Franklin for a few
days.
For shirts see Levy Bros.
fine spring line of Manhattan
shirts.
Madame Rumor says there
will be wedding bells rung quite
*0ften during April.
Utz and Dunn's low quarters
and sandals at Levy Bros.
Mrs. Jesse Kelly is visiting
her mother, Mrs. McNaspy.
Mr.. and Mrs. Edwin Blum
were in town Wednesday.
F.. F. Carter makes good pic
lures, the kind that look like
you and have the proper finish
DR.. Fred Mayer paid Lafayette
= visit last week.
Lots Of people have learned
that it pays to buy groceries
from Prudhomme 4 McFaddin-
have you?
Mrs. Robt. Carter and Miss
Kate Andrus, of Opelousas,
visited relatives here Wednes-
day.
Now is q good time to have
your picture taken, see F. F.
Carter.
Born to MI. and Mrs. Thos.
B. Hopkins, Jr. Sunday night, a
girl
Ladies can spend q delightful
half hour looking over Levy
Bros beautiful spring and sum-
mer dress fabrics.
James Parker, after spending
several weeks with his sister.
Mrs. Tom Hopkins, returned
home Friday.
Don't forget that Levy Bros
are agents for the celebrated
Fred Kaufman and Royal tailors.
Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Jones, and
little son passed through LAfa-
yette Wednesday on their way
- visit relatives in Houma, La.
The fAmous Aliens Misses
ond children's low quarters and
e1ndals q Levy Bros.
Rf0hard Chargois, who has
49, a he drug business in
4vfllef or some time. has ac-
posftkpn At Young =
pharnacv, where he
- Ms many
@X&&fXX$&X<1 trt#+t-E =
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-03-02

ALEXANDRIA BRANCH.
No. 126 arrives HOO a. m.
No. 125 leaves 2:25 p. m.
Mixed train arrives 6:55 p. m.
Mixed train leaves 7:lO q. m.
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-03-02

ment by interested parties, that
the balance due Mr.. l.. II.
Thompson, of Three Hundred
Dollars be paid and that the
Secretary issue warrant for
same, less the $4,000 Fifty Dol
lars retained as per his contract
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-03-02


Mrs. Compton and little
daughter. Louise, are the guests
of DR.. F. r. TOlsOn's family.
Try our preserves and evapO-
rated fruits-PrudhOmme 4
McFaddin.
Miss Bessie O'Quinn, of
Avoyelles. was the guest of Mrs.
J. J.. Davidson this week.
A good place to buy groceries
-Broussard Bros.
Miss Estelle Mouton has just
returned from st. Louis, where
she purchased an elegant stock
of millinery for MoutOn Sisters.
Telephone us if you need
groceries and we will deliver
'promptly-Broussard Bros.
Mr.. and Mrs. LudOvic Guilbeau
spent the day Sunday with
friends and relatives in Carencro.
Take your prescriptions to
Young & Comeaux and you will
get pure medicines and just
what your doctor prescribes.
Mrs. Hector Prejean was in
CarencrO Sunday.
Young & Comeaux carry a full
line of tablets, note paper and
school supplies.
Hector Prejean and little
Claudia Broussard visited in
Broussard Sunday.
Something. new-massage
pumps for the complexion
Young & COmeaux.
Horace Blakesley drove to
Abbeville Monday in the interest
of the Lafayette Marble Works.
You can get anything you need
at A. L. Dyer's, Royville.
Jerome Mouton paid a short
visit to New Orleans during the
week, returning Monday night.
Fine candies at Young & Co.
meaux's.
The Advertiser acknowledges
with thanks an invitation to be
present at the Fourth Annual
Banquet of Home Fire Co., at
Falk's Hall, Thursday evening,
March 8.
See A. L. Dyer, Royville. for
your spring and summer goods.
Elegant patterns and latest
designs.
Geo. G. Guidry, who has been
located in Birmingham, Ala, the
past three years, left for Wash
ington on February "a to visit
relatives. From there he expects
to go to New York where he will
remain visiting relatives and
friends until March s., when he
will set sail for Germany to COM
plete his musical studies.
If you are sick and need medi-
cines, You can get the. best and
purest at A. L Dyer's Royville.
DR.. L G. Woodsmith and W.
b. Brown. Of, Simcoe, Ontario,
Canada. who have been visiting
Mr.. and Mrs. J. G. Nickerson,
left for home yesterday.
Choice early amber sorghum
seed, by the quart or bushel at
the Moss Pharmacy.
Mrs. c. 81 Mouton left last
Friday for 81. Martinville to
spend several days with her
The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-03-02

with Mr.. J. E. Trahan presented
with the above communication.
Motion adopted unanimously.
There being no further bust
ness, meeting adjourned.
CHAS. D. CAFFERY. Mayor
LOUIS LACOSTE. Secretary.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1904-10-20
Sapphire Fields in Montana.

Prof. Elrod, of the University of Mon
tana, gives a striking description of the
treasure that his state possesses in sap
phires. The only systematic mining for
these precious stones in the United
States is done in Montana The annual
output amounts to 100000 or 100000
carats, including the stones that are
suitable for cutting as gems and those
that are only useful mechanical pur-
poses. 1t Is said the lapidaries in Helena
do finer work than is done on the stones
that are sent to London to be cut. Per-
haps somebody will suggest that Mon
tana should be called the gem state"
in view of the fact that her output of pre-
cious stones exceeds the production in
that line Of all the rest Of the United
StateR --------...- =. 40 x -
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1904-10-20
WONDERFUL SEARcHLIGHT.
It Is Provided with an Illuminator Of
What Is Known as 316,0oo,-
600 Candle Power.

Some idea of the great Illuminating
power of this instrument may be
gauged from the fact that it is of 316,-
100000 candle power. II 1t were pos
sible to set the giant upon a hill or
tower 200 feet high its rays could be
easily detected 20 OF 80 miles away;
indeed, it is almost impossible to tell
how far its rays could penetrate, as no
actual demonstration has been made.
1t was built by the famous Schuckert
company, of Nuremberg, who have
given considerable attention to the
manufacture of searcblights. This firm
built the 100000 candle power
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1904-10-20
THEORIES ABOUT THE SUN
There Is No Immediate Danger That
the Great Orb of Light Will
Burn Itself Out.

The current theories concerning the
sun and the planets are that the sun was
once vastly hotter than it is now, and
that for long period 1t has been slowly
but steadily cooling. The doctrine is
built on the notion that the sun is mass
of fire in progress of intense and fierce
combustion, and that, like any other
fire, unless its fuel is replenished, it
must burn out and become eXtinguished.
Some astronomers teach that the sun
is supplied with fuel by vast quantities
of comets and meteors that are shoveled
into it by some process of nature, but
other astronomers like Sir Robert Hall
reject the possibility Of any such sys-
tematic supply Of fuel, and they believe
that the sun as it burns out shrinks In
size at the rate Of 220 feet of its dame
ter in a year. AS the mass of the sun is
something like $50, 900 miles in diameter,
it is calculated still to last for good long
time, but there is something extremely
melancholy and saddening in the idea
that our grand luminary will one day
burn out with a spasmodic CLEAN and a
whiff of ill-smelling smoke like the snuff
of candle.
1t is with great satisfaction that we
are allowed to believe in the possibility
that the sun is made of radium, and that
it can continue to give off heat and light
for an inconceivable lapse of ages with
out being in the least diminished either
in size or capacity to warm and iIlum-
mate us The idea that it is not losing
220 feet of its diameter yearly is particu-
larly consoling.
There is another suggestion which
would enable our solar system to con-
tinue its operations without either suf-
fering an instantaneous conflagration
or being consumed by slow combustion,
and this is that the sun and various
bodies which revolve around it consti-
tute an electric dynamo and an incan-
descent lamp on such scale as could be
designed and created by combined om-
niscience and omnipotence, to go on its
beneficent course forever. Such a notion
meets only the contempt of science,
which insists upon the existence of
actual fire in the sun, that must sooner
or later burn itself out to complete ex-
tinguishment Until, however, astron-
omers like Prof. Langley shall make a
flying machine without balloon attach
ment that will enable human beings to
fly, their vagaries concerning the play
ing out of the sun may we'll be neglected
by all except full-fedged scientists.