The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-07-29
NOISES AND MUSIC.

Out of suggestion made alta meet
/ ing of the Professional Women's
| league, that children should be taught
/ to scream unsteady, has grown a
| scheme to convert all the ordinary
noises of the world into melody. The
! original idea was that mothers should
| carry tuning forks and give the babies
the proper note and that where there
are several youngsters of the wailing
age in the family they should be
taught to cry in unison. "A teacher of
music eagerly caught at the notion
and enlarged upon it by declaring that
there is no reason why the disagreea-
Bile noises of the city--the roar of
wagons and street cars. the cries of
peddlers and newsboys and the whir
of utomobiles-might not, if properly
attuned to each other. be rendered
agreeable, instead of discordant and a
nuisance He intimated that a munich.
pal league of harmony could be es-
tablished that would bring about the
new condition of affairs and that the
enforcement of the law would appeal
that there would be few occasions for.
the interference of the police to arrest
people who did not keep to the ordain-
ed harmony.
The prospect is fascinating. but
such a vast reform is perhaps only the
dream of a visionary For one thing
every policeman would be required to
be possessed of the delicate musical
ear that would enable him to decide
when any noise was off key. and the
magistrate before whom he would
bring the offender must be an even
more accurate critic for upon him
would devolve the duty of distinguish
ing between the scarcely perceptible
shades and graudations that mark the
border line of true harmony. The ex-s
pense of setting up such machinery
of musical justice in connection with
the administration OF municipal law
would deter anybody but the enthusi-
asst from advocating it.
Next would occur the necessity of
a costly appellate 3uris I
diction for it is not to be supposed
that eminent musicians who might be
taken in by the police would fail to
demand to have their cases adjudi-
Gated by the highest expert talent. It |
is even possible that the foundation
could be laid for heavy. damage suits 1
against the city by a musician inten-
tionally sounding false note to invite
arrest and then relying on his profess
sional standing to convince the tribu-
nal of appeals that it was the police
man and not he who Numbered. The
nto zone grand sweet song" is allur-
ng, but the cost is a repellant consid-
grafton. The scheme would, to be +
sure, provide numerous Offices at com
ortable salaries for the persons learn
I'd in thea niceties of musical distinc-
ions, butf the difficulty of introduce
ng school of harmony as an adjunct
o the civil service examining boards
S one more obstacle. The sole gain
hat would be worth the expediture is
he contingency that if all the noises
# the world could at a given moment
,e attuned to the same note the cho- /
us might be SO enormous in volume +,
IS to reach the ears of the jewellers
N Mars, communication with whom 3
las been the aim of SO many expert /,
nenters in theory. Il
That mass meeting or National +
invention could be changed into a
estival of melody is an argument in
avor Of the suggestion, and it is not Z
eyond the scope Of imagination that
he harmony thus produced might Is
ave$a beneficial effect In the councils 4
T the leaders Of factions within a
arty. But the doubt comes upswheth-|$s li
{ politics would hes such an attract tive Il
ursuit for conlbative Anneri cans It'll :
e internecine partisan titles yvereIs h H
polished y
Isle as much an il cantiye to q