davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-11-08
CASH REQUIRED,

Rise to remark that we haven't voted yet,
and are. susceptible to Influence" We
never before had such hard time. to sell
our vote. We also speak for five other re-
porters who are willing to listen to the
tempter, but are too bashful to speak out. :
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-11-08

THE DEFEATED. .....-.-
Wednesday, when the ''good fellows of
today become the ,"poor devils of tomor-
row. ..s -
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-11-08

Professor Apfelbaum was
playing billiards the other
day, with his friend Blumen-
stein, giving him the odds
Of 20 points in 100, when
Gugelheim, to whom Blumen-
stein gives 25 points in 100,
came in and proposed a
three-handed game of 200
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-11-08
= - 1c1> .. I'm OUR MIDST ~ H..
The dredge that started in our midst will
complete it's four miles of ditch in about
three weeks.-Benton. Harbor Banner Regis
ANOTHER STRANGE .WoMA

ter = i. ~ s:.Es. - :,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-11-08

*fTonight, Wednesday and Thursday evenings
are all that remain for the gophers to put on
their finishing touches. With as hard a game
rs Wisconsin is expected to be, the team would
hardly do anything save light work on Friday.
The coaching will likely be of a vigorous nature
Mt these three "scrimmnnees."
In three days, Minnesota must ''do or de-"
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
FRANKS OF A MONKEY PET.
Acted as Laundress and Performed
the Duties of Assistant to
the Family Cook.

Monkeys are the most initiative of all
the lower animals, and sometimes this
propensity for initiating the doings OF
their betters gets them into rare mis-
chief, as the following experience of a
London lad with pet monkey, whose
inquisitive and initiative nature made
him the pest of the neighborhood, bears
amusing testimony.
One day this monkey observed the
maid washing the lace of her mistress
He very obligingly offered to help her
but was angrily repulsed by the maid.
The monkey stopped for few minutes,
at safe distance, to give the maid a
we'll deserved scolding for her rudeness,
and then started out evidently intent on
finding other laundry work to do. The
result of his sudden intrusion into the
field of John Chinaman's Iabors can best
be told in the lady's own words:
Unfortunately" she says, 'the win
dows of my room were invitingly open,
and he entered with the idea of the
washing still fresh in his head. He soon
discovered two small drawers contain
ing lace, ribbons and handkerchiefs. All,
here was the washing all ready to his
hands! In moment all of these ar
ticles were out of the drawers and into
foot pan, together with all the soap
and water that happened to be in my
room, and the laundering began. He
must have washed away with great
vigor, for when l returned to my room
after an absence of an hour or so. 1 found
him busily spreading out to dry the torn
and disfgured remnants of my lace, rib
bons and handkerchiefs He was we'll
aware that he had done wrong Without
my speaking to him he made off the mo-
ment he saw me, going very quickly and
hiding himself in the case of the kitchen
clock in his own home" go:
Another time this same monkey saw
the cook at work preparing partridges
for dinner. This looked like an amusing
and interesting operation, and he deter
mined forthwith to put it to the test.
There were no more cartridges; but a b,
yes, his mistress had some pet bantam
fowls! Doubtless one of them would do
equally we'll At the first opportunity
he hurried out in the yard, seized one
of the hens, quickly returned to the
kitchen and then coolly began pulling
out the feathers. just as he had seen the
cook do, utterly regardless of the
squawking protests of the poor bantam.
The servants heard the noise and hur-
ried to the kitchen, but they found the
hen in such a pitiful condition that they
were obliged to kill her.-N. Y. Herald.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

they found scrap of meat that cook
had thrown out of the window the
black puppy's nose went down to it
just the same as SNOWFALL, but Snow
ball was sure he never took bite, fo-
it was all there for the little white dog
to eat
When the play time was over John,
who took care of the horses, came to
the door and whistled. The black
puppy ran right beside Jack, as if he
had been called, too. Sure, your little
master has come" John said, picking
up the puppy and carrying him into
the house.
Jack was glad to see the little boy to
whom he was to belong, and you may
be sure the little boy was glad to see
him, but the puppy felt grieved when
he found that the little black dog had
not come in the house.
He did not come in that day. and he
never came. Jack found that if he
wanted to have a romp with his
shadow he must go out into the sun.
light And so you will find it, too
ST. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
THE LITTLE WORDS.

You'd be surprised, I'm sure, to know 4.
How far little word can go,
How many miles it runs away
Up hill and down, a single day;
How many angry hearts it wakes,
How many pleasant friends 1t makes;
What very wise things it can tell,
What very simple ones, as we'll;
How very busy, brave and true,
How very false and lazy, too.
So, take good care before that word
BY anybody else is heard
That it shall truly worthy be
To join a happy company
OF helpful words, that march with grace
And bear sweet sunshine in the face.
Frank Walcott HUT, in Youths Com
nanion
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
RoMPED WITH HIS SHADOW
Puppy That Came Whenever
the Sun Shone.

Jack was little white puppy; he had
been carried away from his mother to
serve as playmate for little boy.
The little boy was at the seashore, sc
Jack was very lonesome Il wish ]
had some one to play with. Oh, dc
wish somebody would come and play
with me-, he said, as the maid put hilr
out in the back yard for run 1t was
clear, sunny day, and Jack soon no.
ticed little black puppy caperins
along beside him. 1t was really hi;
shadow, but Jack thought it was an.
other puppy. Lets run a race" be
barked, and the shadow bobbed ane
nodded. OF they went; round the gar
den and round the garden, but Jach
could never get one step ahead of the
little black shadow puppy. They tried
digging in the flower bed to see if any
body had buried bones there. The little
black puppy stood right beside Jacl
and seemed to dig just as he did.
They didn't find any bones, but theJ
had great deal of fun, and once wheI
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
GREAT MAN AND THE FUTURE.

We read what some great person says
At least, they say he's great
We trembie at the things he thinks
Is comm quick and straight;
We think he knows 1t all, because
He's up where folks can see;
But, after all, he's just a man
The same as you and me.
II he thinks things are wrong we think
They're wrong, the same as him;
When he says anything is doomsd
We think its chance is slim;
We amt disposed to question when
He talks of what's to be,
Yet great men amt no more than men,
The same as you and me.
They tell US what's a-comin' in
A month or year or so,
And things may happen by tonight
To show they didn't know;
The futures full of luck and chance
That people never see;
The wisest men are only men,
The same as you and me.
There's no use gittin' scared because
Some fellow that is high
Wakes up some mornin' feelin' blue
And thinks the end is nigh.
The worlds filled up with things the wise
Once thought could never be;
The great ones can't see what's to come
No more than you and me.
IS. E. Kiser, in Chicago Record-Herald.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
The Real Rohinson Crusoe.

The novel Robinson Crusoe'' wai
founded on the experiences of a GER
tain Alexander Selkirk. who resided
four years on the Island of Juan Fer
nandez in the Pacific ocean. Capt
Rogers, commander of the vessel
which rescued Selkirk, related the
story, and Defoe afterward worked il
up into the narrative now so familiar
to all. 1t was for this reason thai
Defoe was accused of pilfering the
manuscript, and even Of having stolen
many letters belonging to Selkirk. De
foe is said to have made snug for
tune from the sale of Robinson Cru
soe," and out of the proceeds of tn,
book to have built fine house fol-
himself in suburb of London. Sc
it must have won instant popularity
From W. B. Northrop's THE Author
of Robinson Crusoe,'" in St. Nicholas
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

lens in the Visayan tongue. speak the
Tagalog lingo, besides Spanish and
some hnglisn. Even in their own
country they were regarded as
freaks" in the showman's parlance.
and spent several years giving exhibi-
tions of native and Spanish dances and
the acrobatic feats of the southern
tribes. About a year ago they went
to Manila. where they made their ap-
pearance at the American theaters be-
fore the soldiery of the United States.
Soon after their arrival they were Sc
cured for the Philippine exhibit at the
st. Louis worlds fair. They were
brought to the United States a few
weeks ago, in advance of the fair, that
they might become acclimated and ac-
customed to the food and water of this
country. They are spending the inter-
val before the opening Of the exposi
ton in California
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
What Makes Papa CROSSE

A minister had been suffering from Q
severe attack of sciatica, which hao
worked upon his nerves, making him
somewhat impatient and fretful. What
makes papa so CROSSE" wonderingly in.
quired his little daughter. Her mother
explained the cause of the trouble, add.
ing: I'VE must be very patient and
kind with poor papa. He is suffering
very much with that sciatic nerve
The little one was thoughtful for .
moment, then she solemnly remarked:
Mamma, when l grow up I will never
marry man with a sciatic nerve
Our Young People.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

YUAN and Martina de la Cruz, a
brother and sister, were the sec
ond and third children in Fill
pino family of eight. Their elder
brother, living in Manila, is Sc years
old, 5 feet z inches high, and weighs
1SS pounds. Martina, the next eldest,
is 81 years oIu and % inches high
Juan, the next in age, is ~ years old
and % inches high Their parents and
the five youngest children, all of whom
are dead, were of average height
Brother and sister are respectively sew
en- and nine inches smaller than Gen.
Tom Thumb. Juan has been married
and is the father of boy, eight years
old He is as large as any child Of
that age in the islands. His wife, who
was a Filipino of normal size, died
three years ago. The midget's read and
write and perform arithmetical prob
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Misery Loves Company.

The poor. benighted heather has no bills,
to fret his life;
He never has to purchase gowns OF Don
nets for his wife;
He never has to fuss and fume and struggle
constantly
To have cash for the packages that come
in c. O. d.
Contribute literally for the suiien heathen'
then,
And let us put him in the plight of all the
other men. -
Where he no longer ignorant, unthinking.
and despised,
May know just what it means to be COM
pletely civilized
Chicago Tribune
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Dangerous Compound.

Smokeless powder is very different
later brown cocoa powder. These lat
ter are quick to explode, becoming
transformed into gas almost instan-
taneously, but the nitrocellulose COM
pound now used in our navy guns
burns much more slowly, even when
confined. When not subjected to con-
finement it may be said hardly to ex-
plode at all. Owing to this deliberate
decomposition of the powder in the
Enclosed gun and in the handling
or no rending effect of the explosive
upon the Structure Of the Missouri
The loss of life was due almost wholly
to the intense heath. Y. Times.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Politics in the sanctum.

Sub Editor-What shall We call the
political meeting that was held in the
town last night-a gathering or a
demonstration?
Editor (who has been away)-Was it
on our side?
Sub Editor-No; our opponents.
Editor-Well, then, call it a fiasco, OF
course. Surely you know that much
Tit-Bits
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Not Breakable.

Clarence Willyboy-I have come to
consult you in regard to breaking my
Incle'S will.
Bill Conkey Qawyer)-How much
lid he leave?
Clarence Willyboy-Five thousand
dollars.
Bill Conkey-Break a fivethousand-
1ollar will? Wy, say, young Teller!
i've thousand dollars wouldn't last
ong enough to make dent in it
Judge.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
The Scare That Failed.

Edgar-There are 100000 microbes
in one plate of ice cream.
Ethel-Oh, let's have some. How de-
lightful to get so much of anything for
so little money!-Cincinnati CONNER
cial Tribune
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Fact and Fancy.

Howell told Rowell to-day that he
should hitch his wagon to star.
Powell-He is more apt to have his
automobile waiting around for SOU
brette-ToWn Topics
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
The Necessary Part.

1t isn't the thing you DO
That brings success to you
It's the way you advertise 1t;
Though your work is the best on earth.
YOU must whoop for all you're worth
To induce the world to prize it,
Chicago Record-H Herald.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Drew the Line.

Il did say could live on desert
island with you, my love-" she tear
fully protested, when he charged her
with indifference. But / did not say
| could live with you on canned
goods. IN. o. Times-Democrat
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Parodied for Present Use.

Truth crushed to earth will rise again.
And cut another cherry tree;
But error on the baseball field
Gets jumped on most unmercif'iy.
N Y. Herald.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
ReSartuS.

81 Will not deceive you" the doctor said.
your life hangs now by a slender thread"
Spoke the tailor, feebly; That viii do.
If the threads waxed, doctor, I'll pull
through
-Chicago Tribune
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
a Supreme Endorsement.

"He is an egotistic person."
Very. He is one of these people who
cannot think of a higher compliment
than the remark I agree with you -
Washington Star.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
STRICKEN OFF the Pay-RoI.

1T seems to me rather ridiculous te
call workman who quits work .
striker
why so?''
Because usually he's the one who t.
stricken. "-Philadelphia Ledger
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

Miss Flirty-Your husband tried to
kiss me last night!
Mrs. Dash-Ah! Well, he's not par
ticular when he's been drinking.-Illus-
trated Bits.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

The mikado of Japan has min
wives. Els readiness for battle Is nov
readily understood.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

Husband-Would you have married
ne if I'd been poor man? But p'r'aps
that is rather an indiscreet question?
Wife-Questions are never indiscreet,
dear; answers sometimes are.-Ally
Sloper
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Two Views.
A Tip.

Il always supposed Mrs. Dazzler's dia-
monds were real until the other night"
What convinced you that they were
not?"
why, l asked her where she bought
her cut glass, and she really got an
cry There's where she wasn't clever.
If she had taken it as a joke l would
have never known the difference -
Detroit Free Press.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

He continuing the narrative)-It took
me but moment to collect my scattered
wits
She-I shouldn't imagine it would take
you long-N. Y. Daily News.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Orators and Others.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Whe a ma.
talks good deal he is called an ora
tor, l believe?
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-Yes-
Well. when woman talks a goo,
deal what is she called?"
"A nuisance. "-Yonkers Statesman
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Facts in the Case.

Greening-Allow me to congratulate
you. old man. L hear you recently mar
ried young lady with an independent
fortune.
Browning-So / thought at the time
the wedding was pulled OF. but l find
| married fortune with an independ-
emit young lady.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

Mrs Cutting r. E. Marks hope
we'll be settled in our new fiat the next
time you call.
Mr.. Borem Sew-When are you going
to move?
Mrs. Cutting R. E. Marks-Not for
several months yet.-Chicago Chronicle
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
Horse and Horse

Merchant-Im looking for man
can trust
Applicant for Position-Then l CUES.
there's nothing doing. I'm looking for
man who would trust Chicago
Journal. S
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03
The Juvenile Idea.

!, Johnny-Maw's always talkin' about
Ia hygienic diet What is hygienic
ldiet?
Tommy-It's kind of diet you don't
like! Chicago Tribune
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1904-06-03

DUT, Aunt Margaret, you have new
- er ridden bicycle" Millard sug-
gested, grasping the idea as the last
upon which to make stand in his ar
ant
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1904-05-14

The District politics is getting
to be a little lively at this time,
we believe all the candidates who
will come out have unfurled the
banners to the political winds.
This week we have heard from re-
liable sources that Mr.. James ST.
mon, who has done good service as
District Attorney some years ago,
is out as a candidate for Judge, al
so Judge Foster, the present in-
cumbent, is seeking reelection,
Capt. A. N. Muller, former Dis
trict Attorney is a candidate for
that Office and Mr.. Edwin Brous-
sard the present District Attorney
is also q candidate for the office.
The rumor has it that Mr.. Simon
and Mr.. Muller will run to-
ther, and Judge Foster and Dis
trict Attorney Broussard are max
ing common fight. The combin-
ations of the candidates when
made public from the proper sour
ces will have the effect of dividing
the lines of the voters; at this time
some express themselves favora-
bly, for one candidate for Judge
and for another for District Attor-
ney, which makes this campaign
somewhat different from other po-
litical contests.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1904-05-14

Saturday night last one of the
arc lights on Main Street was ma
liciously broken by some night
prowler, we say it was maliciously
broken, because it could not be
broken 10 any other way. the lamp
is fully thirty feet high, and the
neighbors heard when the brick
struck the lamp, and the crushing
of the large globe. The Mayor
should have the police to investi-
gate this malicious destruction of
useful public property, and if he
can be found ont, nothing less
than $50 fine and 30 days impri-
sonment with work on the streets,
and criminal prosecution if such is
possible. shonld be given for such
wiIful destruction of property.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1904-05-14
Il. q. DUCHAAGP.
ST. AGARTINVII.L I.A

Agent for the Celebrated American Ready Mixed
Paints for the past years, known to all in town,
why should property holders buy other Paints to
experiment when they know American and those
who have used it, our Paint is Manufactured in the
South for our climate there is no other Paint that
has stood the test in this climate and no other Fac
tory has made special Paint for the South, any
Paint lasts in the North. Do not let merchant ar
que about weight, the more weight the cheaper the
ingredients, buy cheap lead and cheap zinc the Fac
tory makes their profits on the Baryts which is a
cheap stone to make weight, Paint is strictly
pure and landed the largest Government Contract
after test with 90 other Factories the contract for
6o,ooo gallons or 80 the largest contract ever
let Our.Paint covers most and IS subject to test
our guarantee every can is the strength. Call on
US for prices and consult property holders who have
used it. AMERICAN PAINT WORKS.
New Orleans La.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1904-05-14

The game of base ball played
here last Sunday between the New
Iberia High School and the st.
Martinville High School, was wit
messed by a large number of per-
sons. It was pretty game, close
and very exciting from the very
beginning to the last. The game
resulted in favor of the st. Mar
.inville High School, the score be-
ing Z to 6. The boys did some
very good plays. They will meet
again in short time in New Ibe-
ria, and those who will go and see
them can be assured that they will
see good. interesting game.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1904-05-14
MADE YOUNG AGAIN.

'One of DIR: Kings New Life
Pills each night for two weeks has
put me in my teens again writes
d. H. Turner of Dempseytown.
Pa. They're the best in the world
for Liver. Stomach and Bowels.
Purely vegetable. Never grippe.
Only Csc at T. j. Liable drugstore.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1904-05-14

One of the greatest blessings modest
man can wish for is a good, reliable set
Of bowels. II you are not the happy pos.
SCISSOR Of such an outfit you can greatly
improve the efficiency Of those you have
BY the judicious use of Chamterlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets. They are
pleasant to take and agreeable in effect.
For sale BY T. ]. Liable.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1904-05-14

IF you are thinking of protec-
ting your property against fire, by
taking an insurance policy. l would
be please to talk to you about the
matter, P. A. Bienyenu, Fire In-
snrance Agent.
The weekly messenger. [volume] (St. Martinsville [i.e. St. Martinville] La.) 1886-1948, 1904-05-14

X. MARTIN, President.
F. T. GUILBEAU, Vice President.