davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29

Copyright, 1904, by Western Newspaper
Union
Being Boy.
Yes. being a boy has its triumphs.
At least to man looking back
A glamorous,. glorious boyhood!
Utopian joys, what a stack!
With swimming and fishing, and trapping
And hunting the Indian wild!
All! days Of Cocagne. lotus laden.
When man was a minion-a child!
But nevertheless in my dreaming
There rankles. my ardor to cool.
The thoughts of the mandate which bade
Saw wood for the house after school!
The woodpile was ample, and scraggly
With slivers and knots! What a pile;
Beginning close up to the woodshed,
-, Extending northeastward a mile!
Twas high as the cornice Of Pisa,
And broader by far than a block.
While some Of the big sticks were tougher
Far harder and tougher than rock!
At sunset when all Of my fellows
Were tempting the big fish to bite.
Twas ! to that tyrant, the woodpile.
80, To get up the wood for the night!
The stoves were red demons Of fury
That joyed In their gormandish glee.
Each generous crackle and sparkle
Portending more saving for me!
At night, in my little back bedroom.
There stalked grim spectre in white.
His face was the blade of a bucksaw
His legs were jack oak! What a sight!
Yes. being boy has its triumphs.
At least to a man looking back
But give me the days Of my manhood.
Though something Of boyhood they lack;
Give me mature age and its sceptre,
Its glory Of battles withstood.
When / may no longer be chided
TE hustle outdoors and saw wood!
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
What Broke the Spell

moment he realized as never before
the vast difference, the unspeakable
gulf between the things of heaven and
the things of earth, and his heart
swelled with love for his fellow-men.
Beside him sat his bride of month.
The moon has rarely seen a woman
more beautiful. The light in her eyes
seemed born of the beauty of the
night, and he wondered. Was she, too,
drinking in it's splendor, feasting upon
its loneliness, breathing 1t into her
whole being? Her gaze was riveted
upon the distant horizon, where sky
and sea were one. She sighed-oh,
how sweetly she sighed!-and turned
her beautiful face toward him.
John, dear" she murmured-and
her voice was like the whispering of
angels to his soul-'T just can't decide
whether to have it make with a cir.
cular flounce or with plain deep ruff
fle."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29

Around the setting sun the sea rolled
like molten furnace, deepening away
from fire to crimson to purple, from
purple to gray, and SO on to the SHIN
imering black mirror that answered to
the Pickering lights of the incoming
procession of stars. Far out from
land belated fishing boat stole slow
,1y harborward, it's red and its green
light mere specks of color on the vast
surface of the rocking water. A cool
wind blew in shore and brought with
lit the sound of whistles from the out
bound steamers in the dim distance.
lin one direction the lights Of the great
city could be seen as blur Of bright
ness, indistinct and spectrallike, upon
the darkness of the summer sky.
+ To the man on the beach the scene
seemed too glorious for words, and his
soul was caught up by its beauty and
lifted far above the dross and COM
monness of this wicked world. In that
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
POLITICALLY Dead"

n curious incident occurreI in an
English police court recently where
a man named Travis was sentenced
to q months Imprisonment for obtain
ing a postal order by false pretenses.
He pleaded that he was Officially
dead" and his story was that when
with the British army in South Az
RIGA he deserted, obtained some
clothes from the Kaffirs, made his
way to the coast and worked his pass
age home. He then discovered that
he was reported dead, and though he
subsequently gave himself up as de-
serter the war Office gave an official
assurance that he had died at the
front" and would not arrest him.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29

In commenting on the well-authenti-
Gated statement that Theodore Mom0r
sen, the famous German historian,
slept only about three hours a day
during the last twenty years of his life
and yet attained to the ripe old age
of SO, specialist in nervous diseases
said that this remarkable record could
undoubtedly be attributed to Momm-
sens extraordinary intellectual devel-
Opment and intense absorption in his
work.
Contrary to the popular notion, ;"
the physician continued. 1.-The more
highly developed is a mans intellect
the less sleep he will require. The
reason is that when all of lifes forces
are conferred in the intellect there is
much less wear and tear on the body
than is the case when a more animal
life is led. When the body is used
merely as a means to higher end,
and not INDUCED for it's own sake, it
will respond in an astonishing manner
to the tasks that are placed upon it.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Poplar Tree Worth $500.

The great value Of timber is shown
in the case of a tree recently cut near
Waynesville, N. C. The giant of the
Allegheny mountains was curly pop
lar, so large that twelve horses were
required to haul away the butt cut,
which was twelve feet long. The low
est limb was eighty feet from the
ground. This single tree contained
$4,000 feet of first-class lumber, most
of it useful as veneering, and its value
was $1,000. The single tree was worth
more than the entire mountain farm
upon which it stood.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
ISL pi3sotisfied
BY r. X MUNKITTPICK
BY r. X MUNKITTPICK

clock was tightly closed, so it walked
underneath the clock and squeaked up
the crevice in which the pendulum
was tirelessly swinging.
"May came in?" asked the anxious
minstrel of the meadow and ingle
nook.
There being no reply, the cricket be-
came satisfied that the huge marble
insect to which it addressed itself was
too busy In ticking and locking to hear
anything. Suddenly the clock stopped
and the cricket crawled up the pendu-
lum and began looking around and up
and down among the silent, motionless
wheels both dazed and amazed.
81 believe l am on the inside of the
insect" said the cricket, land that the
whole thing" meaning the clock. lis
the creature with the coveted bang. AS
the outside of it gives no clue as re-
CARDS the method, perhaps l can learn
something from these intestinal disci.'
Just then the owner of the clock be-
gan to wind it, and the startled crick-
ct, sitting akimbo on one of the
wheels, lost his balance and tumbled
into the whirling machinery and was
soon crushed into pulp.
The moral of this little fable teaches
us that we should be content to blow
and make ourselves heard on the horn
with which the wise, beneficent moth.
err, Nature, supplied us, and not seek
to strike when we are only equipped to
tick, lest we suddenly come to grief,
as did the poor, weak, dissatisfied
cricket.-New York Times.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
THESE BIRDS ARE INGENIOUS.
Use Spectacle Frames and Clock
Springs for Their Nests.

The crows of the orient are sale to
be far advanced in the art of stealing
beyond the crows of this country. The
story is told of pair Of crows at Bonn
bay that robbed an optician of spec
tacle frames, entering his room re-
peatedly for that purpose! These birds
carried off eighty-four spectacle frames
of gold, silver and steel, which were
so ingeniously woven together in their
nest that it was a veritable work Of
art.
In the Swiss Museum of Natural His
tory at Soleure is wagtail's nest built
entirely of clock springs. Several
clockmakers' shops were near, where
the waste lay scattered about the
doors. This the birds had woven with
much ingenuity into nest more than
for four inches across and entirely
comfortable for the little family.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Travels of a Marked Lobster.

About three months ago a fisher
man caught a large seed lobster
marked H. A. K, which he put over
board in Seguin harbor, Maine. This
was noted in the Jonesport Enterprise,
with the request that anyone catching
this lobster would in turn report. On
Dec. George Marshall caught the
same shellfish near Mark Island,
which as soon as punched by the in
spector will be placed in Hatchet har-
Dor. This is interesting to those who
are studying the habits and vagaries
of the esculent crustacean, and
guesses are in order as to when this
specimen will next show up.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29

Once upon time a cricket was sit
ting on hearth chirping away at
great rate, when 1t happened for the
first time to hear the ticking of clock
that had been put on the mantel over
head day or two before. Then, brfm-
ming with curiosity, the cricket man.
aged after great difficulty to reach the
mantelpiece, where it leaned against
the timepiece and listened very atten-
lively.
Whatever kind of an insect 1t may
b." observed the cricket, 1T ticks
much louder and faster than I, and
still it never seems to pause for
breath"
While the cricket gazed vacantly
into space with a mystified air, the
clock struck ten.
Gracious mel" said the startled
cricket in establishment that savored
of envy of the greenest kind. What a
beautiful bang it has, to be sure. If
had so resonant a bang as that
should be the proudest and happiest
creature in the meadow, and also at
the Preside. Perhaps if l go inside,
the banging proprietor will be good
enough to teach me the method of his
beautiful bang"
So the cricket, full of the joys of
anticipation, skipped blithely around
to the front of the clock, and, seeing
the keyholes and the hands, concluded
that they were the banging occupants
eyes and two Of his legs, which he
fancied were many. The cricket MOTTO
ed also that the glass door of the
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
PICKLES CAUSE OF SUICIDE.
At Least, That Is Jersey City Police
CAPTAINS Theory.

According to Capt. Wohlleben of the
Sixth precinct station, Jersey City.
nine out Of every ten persons who at
tempt suicide in that section of Jer-
sey City are fond Of pickles and 9TH
er sour foods.
He says that pickles are to blame
for the actions Of Mrs. Louise Daber-
kon of No. 1878 Tonnele avenue, who
ate quantity of them with sailed
herring on Thursday night and shortly
afterward slashed her throat with .
knife and razor.
There are more suicides in Ger
many than in any other country in
Europe" said the captain, land, &C.
cording. to medical authorities, the
sour food of the German is RESPONSE
BILE for the suicidal mania which Is
characteristic of their temperament"
New York Herald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Peculiar Habit of Bird.

The white tern has the curious habit
of never bringing less than two fish
at time to it's young. 1t carries the
fish crosswise in its bill and some
times returns from its excursions with
no less than four fish thus carried.
1t is easy enough to understand how
it captures the first fish, but natural
lists are unable to comprehend how
the bird manages to retain it while
securing additional ones. It's ability
to hold three fish in it's bill and still
capture a fourth is particularly puz-
cling
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
MOTORS ON THE WATER.
Aquatic Launches Have Attained
Wide Popularity.

1t Is said that the motor launch
business of the country runs into sew
eral millions of dollars annually.
There are all kinds of motors, mostly
using gasoline. The motor generally
is not reversible, and a clutch or
feathering screw is used, or the fly
wheel in smaller sizes is taken in the
hand and started the other way.
The development of the racing au-
tomobile with it's attendant refining
of weight in the construction of the
motor, has provided a constantly I'M
proving motor for the driving of fast
launches. Automobile boats are now
made as they should be, instead OF
built to order.
Most of the parts are interchange
able and can be replaced by any COM
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Life Sentence for This.

He was strapping six-footer.
She was petite little lady coming
below his shoulder in stature.
But Cupid had willed it, they two
had said it, and the minister had done
the rest.
1t was night, and about their dove
cote the horse-fiddle shrieked, the tom
tom reiterated, the shelled corn fell
against the window panes and pande-
monium reigned, as the serenaders
called for the bride and groom.
Presently window was thrown up
and before it stood the prosecuted
pair.
Gentlemen" protested the husband.
his arm about his clinging wife, here
am. Here is Mrs. Jones, and that's
the long and short of it," Saying
which he closed the window with a
bang.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Costly Fight Over Nickel.

When a telephone of the Chicago
telephone company is busy" the
nickel which you are supposed to have
dropped in is supposed to drop out
again. Constable John Small tried it
is times and the nickel didn't drop
once, he says. So he sued for the
nickel. The telephone company paid
$500 in counsel fees and had to sur
render the nickel in the end.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29

1t is not generally known that the
fur seal was once land animal. The
baby seals are actually afraid of the
water, they would drown If thrown in
to it, and have to learn to swim by
repeated efforts. When once they have
been taught to swim, however. they
soon forget to walk.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
ENCOURAGEMENT for Beginners.

Andrew Carnegie, in addressing
lately an audience in Scotland strug-
CLING to advance a good cause, said:
.Let me commend great truth to
you, which has been one or my sup
ports in life: "The gods send thread
for web begun" Thread will be
sent for that you are about to weave,
I am we'll assured"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
MonareI Resents Insults.

A Leominster man has a mongrel
dog named Snip that resents an insult
from customers. Small boys some
times jeer at the dog, or stick their
thumbs to their noses and wiggle their
fingers, and the animal chases them,
swapping at the boys clothing
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
IMMENSE PILE OF DOLLARS.
Structure Giving an Idea Of Andrew
Carnegie's Beneficence.

In his effort to avoid the ignominy Of
dying rich Andrew Carnegie has given
away nearly $1OO,OOO,OOO. The amount
of his known benefactions is $90,912,-
223, and it isn't at all unlikely that
other donations unrecorded would
amount to the 100000 necessary to
bring the total up to the $100,000,000
mark.
In silver dollars Stacking" ten to
the inch, these 100,000,O00 coins would
pile in single column 160 miles into
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Enolish Portable Propulsion.

petent chauffeur of an ordinary auto
mobile.
The two vessels to-day most in the
public eye are the Adios and the
Standard. The Adios is fifty-fve feet
long, with propelling power developed
by string of eight single cylinder en-
gines on one shaft. The engine is of
Leighton type, built in Syracuse, and
very great speed has been obtained
from it.-New York Herald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Senator Never Shaved.

In one respect Senator Stewart of
Nevada is remarkable man. He has
never been shaved. At the age of 16
his beard began to grow, and has
haen growing for sixty years.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Historic Panama FIau,

Secretary Hay has in his possession
the Panama flag in which was wrapped
Panama's treaty with the United
States on its trip from Washington to
the isthmus and back again. The flag
was presented to him by Minister
Bunau-Varilla, who himself kept the
American flag, which was also wrapped
about the treaty.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29

the air. In cube formation, allowing
for each coin at the base to touch rims
with the others, these coins would
form pile nearly fourteen feet square
at the base and 100 feet high. Such
pile would be larger by far than most
of the library buildings which MIR. Car
negie has provided for.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
He Believed It.

He Believed It.
Wings-"You evidently do not be-
lieve that the whale swallowed Jo-
nah?"
Bings-"Believe it? OF course be.
lieve it! Why, this summer up at the
lake-I had powerful fishing tackle,
too-but up at the lake, one morning,
hooked the brother of that whale
that swal-"
1t was at this juncture, right in the
middle of swallow, that Wings threw
the beer mug. Just before Bings died,
however, he gasped painfully and MUIR
INJURED:
ut-it-got-aw
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
A Bit of Old Liverpool.

The above "Bit Of Old Liverpool"
shows a portion of ST. Peters church
and a corner of Church street. This is
now one of the handsomest and bust.
est parts of the city. and is intersected
with tramways which run in all direc-
tions. The sketch was made about
125 years ago.-Liverpool Mercury.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29

Burmese cigarette smokers do not
necessarily smoke great number of
the paper pipes to become "fiends,"
as the white strip in the photograph
would indicate one cigarette should
be enough to satisfy any ones long
ings in that direction for few hours.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Breaches to Travellers.

This great biblical truth. confront
ing the railway passenger as he looks
out of the car window, is painted on
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Poor. Tired Pa.

Rastus came smiling to school that
morning, with grief depicted in his
adolescent face.
please, teacher" he lisped, "I've
gotta quit school. My ma is dead and
I've gotta go to work.
"Ye see," wiping away tear, NOW
that mas gone pas gotta take keer O
hisself, an I've gotta help pal"
His mother had been a "wash-lady."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
Consistency.

S'S'SeS'Sy
She had the boy arrested
THE wicked little brat!"-
For killing a canary
Like that upon her hat!
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29

Hl-Yo! ki-Yi!
Rags-De guy Civ we camels hair
undershirt, did he?"
Wags-"An. pair of alligator-skin
shoes!"
RagsA"G'wan!"
Wags-"An' now eff I kin git some
kind gemmeman to hand me 'er snake
skin watch fob and err Indian-bead
charm, I'll feel like hull circus!"
s 6 s
Hint to Writers.
John Morley, who is great lover
of animals always has pet dog sit
ting on his lap when he is writing in
his study.-Chicago Journal.
A man ought to write good dog
gerel that way.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-01-29
The Modern Secret.

The Modern Secret.
In Aud Lang Syne, when tales were told.
And secrets did king unfold.
He pressed his signet to the lip,
Safeguarding it from gossp's flip!
And thus twas sealed and kept secure
From vulgar tongue of wag or boor!
But in these days of modern life.
man goes home and warns his wife;
He cautions her in language neat
To guard the news and be discreet.
Next day he hears it. up and down
The streets and alleys of the town!
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-05-17
POKER CY'S LUCK
His First and Last Game BROUGHT Woe
to His Opponents

CLEVELAND. o., May ibid you
ever hear about the first and the last
game of poker Cy Young ever played 80
asked Tom Mears, Tuesday Mears
was assistant secretary and treasurer
of the old Cleveland team and was with
it on all its trips
: This happened in Boston," Means
went on. The game was in my room
at the United States hotel Jakey
Evans, the greatest right fielder that
ever lived. was present but he didn't
play. In fact he never played cards
for money. There were only four of us
around the table and so began urging
Young who sat over on the bed. to
come in. Cy had never played poker.
and scoffed at my invitation. Finally
he got weary Of the bantering we gave
him and took a chair.
Well. sir. you should have seen that
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-05-17
WHITMAN CAME
CALLED OFF
Al Least They Wired to Cancel
Saturday Game-May
Play Later

1t seems that Lewiston is Inflated
for a game Of ball with Whitman COL
lege next Saturday. Secretary Brad
bury this morning received a telegram
from the management of the Walla
Walla team in which it says: Cancel
ticulars by mail" 1t does not neces-
sarily mean that game will not be
arranged for a later date but the par
ticulars by mail which are expected
here tomorrow will tell the tale.
The news that the game is off for the
present comes as a great disappoint-
ment to the players in the Lewiston
tenn as we'll as the general public and
il is hoped that other games may be ar
ranged for Saturday and Sunday. Thus
far on inquiry most of the minor teams
in the nearby sections have all closed
games for this week and the prospect
OF having a game for Saturday and
Sunday is rather slim.
Secretary Bradbury stated this
morning that a communication had
been received from the management Of
the Spokane Elks team that Lewiston
could figure on game with that team
here for May 20 and 80. There is
nothing definite. however. with rela-
ton to the game but the assurance is
given that Lewiston can have the date
in preference to any other team.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-05-17
FORBES AND NEIL MATCHED
Will Go Six Rounds in CHICAGO This
Month

SAN FRANCISCO. May 17-As soon
as the races are over at Emeryville,
which will be next Saturday frankie
Neil, the worlds champion bantam will
turn his attention to his profession
once more frankie will not bother the
local clubs for match any more. and
is going east Yesterday he fixed up
match with Harry Forbes from
whom he won the championship. He
has agreed to take him on for six
rounds at Chicago on May q. and il
frankie fights up to his old form other
clubs will be after his services He
will allow Forbes to weigh in at 100
pounds. which is giving the ex-cham-
pion a few pounds.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-05-17
Play Ball


milwaukee Sentinel.)
Have you seen the baseball microbe?
Have you felt his tiny sting?
He is coming. surely coming. though
perhaps the backward spring
Has prevented him from frisking as he
dearly loves to frisk-
Frost is fatal to the microbe and he
hates to take the risk.
Never mind!
You will find
Long before the days of fall
That you can't
Miss the chant
OF the bleacherites: play BALI"
Tell me not that you are weary Of the
game you used to love-
That You loathe the sound of leather
banging into padded glove
Do not pirate about the Sabbath and
yonr love for peace and calm
For the umpire's rumbling basso you'll
be passing up the psalm.
Never fret
Why, I'll bet
Yes. I'll gladly stake my all
That you'll roar
AS of yore
With the bleacheries: Play bali"