The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-05
WITS, WAGS AND
POETS OF THE WAR
BY T. c. DE LEON.

- ~--- PASSED the staring recruit with
me words: "Furlough? You greeny,
can't you see that I'm left-handed
man?"
Latham was said to be the only man
who had joked with Jackson. Once the
general passing his guns In battery and
trained on an opposite height, said sharp
ly: Major as soon as the enemy opens.
return his fire Immediately" Latham
replied in flash: 1T will save time to-
let him keep it, sir' and old Stonewal
only stared bankly. Once, on a courts
martial with ochiltree, the party adiourn-
cd to the hotel bar for lunch Latham
described the talk: TON lied like a war;
rior taking his rest with his courtmartial
around himl'
McCartys wit was as spontaneous as
Lathams; but II was ever favored with
that sub-acid which wrecked one of the
most brilliant young lives the war sig
nalized. He was In fact good-hearted
and generous fellow; but he would have
masquerade a weakness of his GRANDPA
Their The famous duel that cost the lie
of McCartys old friend, and utterly blast4,
ed his own, was the result of wrongful
and excuseless effort to be smart. But
he had genuine wit and his senne Of
humor was unfortunately keen. lines
Randolph was the facial prince among
war wits. He too, had the sub-acid vein,
hut the genial enc dominated It, Once,
when the shadows were blacklist in SOU
thern skies. Mr. Davis ordered day of
Thanksgiving ard prayer. 1t was just af-
ter Braggs disastrous retreat, and the
proclamation specified that Randolph
framed metrical version of the procla-
nation, taking 1t section by section. The
one named he twisted thus:
'And Bragg did well, for who could
tell
What merely human mind might au-
CUR,
That they would run from Lookout
Mount,
Who fought so well at chicamau
gar"
This poem was coincidentai with 1.-THE
War Christians Thanksgiving. of Wal
lis. The brilliant ornament to the Bal
timore bar had his printed and distribute
cd at the churches and IL was propably
enc cause for his being sent to Fort War
rem. And, singularly enough, the wits
in butternuts laughed loudly out of some
of the darkest prison cells the north con-
trlved for there. Tom Roche, another
Marylander, shut up In Fort Delaware,
did famed parody of Lytel's poem,
which begins:
II am busted mother bustedi
Gone the last unhappy check;
For the Internal sualers prices
Make my pocketbook a wreck"
And, after reciting trials and satirizing
persons it ends:
''Bankers and fat brokers aid thee.
Gentle mother mine. o. shellf'
1t is not to be supposed that the wes-
tern armies were more lacking In the af-
fiatus and its expression-or In wit and
iollity under trial-than their comrades OF
the east That Richmond was the CEN
ire of thought as well as of gossip-made
all that happened in its vicinity more not
able ard more likely to travel and to get
into print. There is less known OF the
humor Of the other armies but one re-
markable seige left proof of It's existence
and good quality. Shot. riddled Vicks-
burg in her direst extremity OF trial.
starved and laughed Elsewhere l have
printed that remarkable Menu" OF the
Hotel de vcksburg, ]. Davis & Co..
Props" showing the dainty forms in
which mule may be served.
The London Times, commenting on that
publication, declared that It showed more
constancy and enduring courage in Amer.
lean character than did any great hat
tie OF the war. Another. and less known
Vicksburg joke was perpetrated in mid
seige when the only safe quarters were
subterrean. Some one put on an exposed
and deserted house: For rent: inquire
under next hill" Soon a shell tore away
half the front, but left the placard. A
passing wag stopped erased the top line
and wrote: Rented by Grant &C. Nc
Pherson."
Defeat did not wholly queneh the spir-
It of fun. After surrender. when City
Point was the centre of exchange for
prisoners. an old colonel with very ragged
clothes and wholly soieIess snoe tops.
was sitting on a fence whiting q stick,
while waiting for his train. A dapper
young aide in hue, with fresh gold. adj
dressed him the question: Say. old man.
how long will II take me to get from here
TO RichmondT'
There was no reply: the old man only
whiting and squirting tobacco juice to
a great distance; so the query was testify
repeated. Then the confed
II was a-thinkin' an l dunno: IL TUX
about 100000 better men than you. for
years. an all o. them didn't reach It.