The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1904-03-12
| Prof, Adde'S Dissemination,
By Tom P. Morgan.

|
The man from the metropolis visite.
the Duffy House again the other day
Il am astounded to see you still
alive he said, to the gentlemanly
clerk. you still invent, l learn. aud
feared that by this time some,of your
numerous inventions had hurried you
into yawning sarcophagus. There
was also rumOr to the effect that the
! FOOlkiller had resumed business at the
old stand" a.. Z
The clerk made no reply, but cast a
| look of reproach at his traducer.
The clerk may notsbe right smart as
! an inventor, but when it comes to cast
| ing looks of reproach at people he is nc
amateur. Qoarties having looks of re-
, proach which they desire cast with
neatness and dispatch will do well TO
call on the clerk of the Duffy HOusel.
why, oh, why" went on the man
from the metropolis, will you persist
in inventing when you are we'll aware,
bic to rise UP and smite you into the
middle of next week? And it wouldn't
surprise me one bit if it caught you
some time when you really thought you
were voting.
Yes he continued, catching his
(breath,~ "look not upon the invention
when it is red, Or, ere you wot of it.
the razzle-dazzle and pillyweewee will
be singing over your grass-grOwn
grave. AS an awful warning. let me
cite case where an immoderate indul-
gence in inventing very nearly scienti-
f1cally administered the culinary oper-
alton to the individual goose of a we'll
known scientist Did you read the ac-
count of shower Of flesh out in the
western part Of the state?"
The clerk had read it.
We'll, that was all that was left of
once pensive COW, the property Of Pro-
fessor Socrates Addle, and worth one
months salary of any mans money"
The man from the metropolis girded
up his voice, SO to speak. and proceed
ed:
For long time Prof Adde'S resi-
dence was Overrun with rats. They
took unwarranted liberties with the
household shrines. They entered the
rooms without wiping their feet on the
mats, held conventions in the garret,
and fought in the parlor. Without re-
gard for the feelings of the owner of
the building, they even invaded the
professors private den and there swap
ped lies and Dragged about what terri
bic fellows they used to be to bind
wheat.
Anxious as the scientist was TO get
rid of them, he did not resort to traps
or poison. He was too much of an
inventor for that, and if he couldn't
them by some unique and
original method, they could go unanni-
hilated.
For long time Prof. Adde'S think
ing accomplished nothing. But he was
not discouraged. Addle was as deter
mined an inventor as ever blew up
his grandmother. and was good deal
like the mills of the gods, over at New
Harmony, Indiana, which grind exceed
ing slow, but get there just the same
He did not grow impatient, but wound
up his thinker with renewed energy.
'"The result was his justly-celebrated
1t was compounded OF
powders, which were not only pleasant
20 the taste, but harmless while dry.
But when confined and moistened, say,
'or sake of argument, when soaked
~ q copious drink of water, after hav-
ng been swallowed, the result was Of |
! surprising and spectacular nature.
after rat had partaken of the !
,owder he would meet friend and be
lsked out to take~a drink. A little lat
r the victim would detect an intense
in his internal economy. He
would cast a reproachful look at his
riend, and remarking, We meet but to
ever would explode with an elabor-
lteness which showed that, while he
night not be much OF rat. in many
Ways, as an exploder he knew his bust
less Every now and then there would
'e squeak, small pop with fur on 1t.
nd another rat would be gathered to
lis ancestors. /
THE Dissemination and bowls of wat
r we're always at hand, and. in the wee
mall hours of night. the professor
vould awake to hear the unobtrusiye
op OF another rodent, 1t got 20 that !,