Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1904-05-01
a DIABOIiCAL MACHINE.

A DlABOLiCAL MACHINE.
Married mn had better watch out
what they do this summer while Their
wives are away from home The day
has passed when husband, ma
rooned in a hot city While his family
was at the summer resorts or up To
the farm can work the time-honored
stall about being lonesome and
those ympathy-compelhng fables
about .'sltting all alone at home look
ing at the stars or at the office buried
in business" and wondering if she
were thinking Of him 1t Won go
any more, gentlemen. because there
is a man in Chicago, j. c. \ 'bllt, l9S
Randolph street, who has contrVed
an automatic de ective that Will be
able to do pretty near everything you
don't want it to do except tell what
brand of liquor you've been drinking
This impersonal slcuth works day
and night 1t will put Billy Pinkerton
and his never sleep mot o deep in
the shade of the palms. II WiIl=teIl
the time of ysNlr recalcltrauce 10 the
second with the day of the month and
the month of the year in which you
fell from grace. 1t will litetaity keep
cases en- you comings and soings, and
woe betide You if yeu lioan key
tG some coneenial friend or # your
guests take their departure singly or
in numbers during the night.
No more can the Iodge-meotins gag
be worked with impunity; no more
can tho friendly same of dfaW be
prolonged in The dining-foom till tae
peep of Gay foN Wifcy when sae
comes home in the fall Will have
fnll chr nology of eve'y irregHIari Y
CT her husbands days and nights dur,
ing her absence. And it viii be writ
ten and not a verbal statement. No
further necessity to depend upon hear
say.
Henry in at a. m. June "a, 1904
Henry out at l. m. June "a.
The new automatic detective is
either a superhuman or a diaholical
hing according to the way you re-
gard IT, Every time one opens a door
from the inside it will record the fact
and the time to a dot. If the dor is
opend from the outside it will re ord
not only the time and date, but also
he name and owner Of the key used.
If the man of the house stays away
from home during the absence of his
wife the lapse will be shown and
proved by the interval between the
times of turning the lock.
A Pine Bluff hubby will n. be able
to take a run mp to Little Rock or
ever to Hot Springs and then swear
that he has been busy as bee at his
Office all through the long. long sum-
mer He cant let Bill or Jack have a
key. because the madam can tell at a
glance that a third party has been
flequenting the house and of course
there is no telling what dreadful
deductions might be drawn from such
proof that there was an outsider fire.
nuenting the hcme during the summer
vacations.
or course the mechanical ClairvOy-
ant which Mr.. Noblit has sprung upon
an awe-stricken public has more
friendly aspect than that which relates
&c its domestic uses Ii Will. for in
stance. put a check upon those en-
ployes who have fallen into the habit
of carrying off in the night such sam
pies of the firms stock in trade as
may suit their fancy or their needs
The employer who knows there is
"a leak somewhere" but cannot ac-
count for It will find help in the lock
that is so constructed that not a chest
case. till, or closet or door can be un-
locked without reccEding the name II
the person who opened il. together
with the hour. date and month Of the
intrusion.
Tommy, what were you doing in
the store at ! a. m last Saturday a
week ago. the boss may ask. dis
turbng the office boy in his perusaI
of Bandit Bill. the Boy Bandit of the
Bowery." And it viii be up to Tom.
my to display either his superi j! in.
genuity or "fess up"
---ss.Of-