davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Touching Music.

Miss Yallerby-Dat Percy Mokington
kin play de mos intoXicatin' an heaben-
ly music on his banjo. Oh, my
Clarence Coonley (sneeringly)-Huh!
l guess rag-time am about dat niggah's
limit!
Miss Yallerby (warmly)-'T is, Ell ?
Yo' jes ought ter heah dat man glib an
imertation oh spring chicken a-sizzlin
on de pan, er hungry pickaninny eat
in wateh-millyun! Talk about 20
real music!-Puck.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

If the Southern rail- In the Shadow OF the
way. Most of the Capitol.
other buildings are either common
place or positively disreputable. For
nearly half the distance, both sides of
the avenue are lined with cheap lodg-
ing houses, Chinese laundries and places
of questionable reputation.
Right under the shadow of the dome
Of the capitol is nest of shanties so
wretched that no picture can give an
adequate idea of their abject condition.
1t is written in the books that all these
will have go go in order to make way
for the rows of public buildings for which
the necessity is growing every year
more pressing, and which, when COM
pleted, will make Pennsylvania avenue
the most splendid thoroughfare in any
capital city in the world.
To complete these improvements will
cost millions of dollars, but the invest
ment will be for all time, and the out
lay will more than pay for itself in the
saving Of rents which the government
now pays to private holders of real es-
tate all over Washington who fatten on
the housing of departments and bureaus
that ought to have permanent abodes
of their own. 1t is only within three
years that the government actually con-
tracted with private individual to put
up costly building on an agreement to
lease it for the use of bureaus in the
navy for period of at least ten years.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Sonny Goslin &C. o. D.

The angels brought me c. O. D.,
Pa says. and made him pay
All charges for the trip, just like
A cart or bale OF hay;
And then before they'd leave me, too,
They made him promise that
He'd buy me Clothes and caps and things
And milk to make me fat,
And lots of other things BESIDES
And scales to have me weighed
And pa declares the bargain was
The worst he ever made.
N. Y. Herald.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
A Way Out.

WITHDRAWING. we dfned at the
Squatson's just one week ago to night.
Do you realize that we must make our
dinner call?
Husband - Suppose we don't.
Wouldn't they like it?
Wife-Why, they never would for
give us-Im sure they would never
ask us again.
Husband-Good! Then we won't
go.-Brooklyn Life
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Another Libel on the Sex.

Laura" said Mr.. Ferguson, do you
suppose your mother would like to go
with us to the concert tomorrow
night?"
81 am sure she would"
"You might call her up by telephone
and ask her. Now, Ruggles, "
he said to the friend that had called in.
well have a smoke. 1t takes two
women half an hour to finish talk
over a telephone "-Chicago Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

of representatives.
1t is ten years now
since Cochran was
last in the house as
a Tammany man.
He was regarded
then as the most
brilliant orator on
the floor, and he
had to contend
against him such
oratorical stars as
William J. Bryan
and Isador Rayner.
M SC cNn,nt hin o.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Heating q Flat.

Landlord-Most of those restrictions
which I put into operation last fall
can be removed now.
Janitor-Sure. never cud see
plat good they did except to kape al
the tinants mad.
Landlord-That was the idea. By
keeping them Tuning at you, they did
not notice how little heat there was
in the steam pipes.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
T a. W777zz7 @S[%ZHT7-I
e. }H5 5 4 II !: IA
/. He Found Fault.

"He criticised me for almost moth
ing!" moaned the wife.
The friends sought to comfort her.
but she was not to be soothed. Between
her sobs she told how her husband had
expressed very .unfavorable opinions
of her new ball gown.
But you said he criticised you for
almost nothing" argued the sympa-
thizers.
$50 he did" Here she gave way to
a fresh outburst of sobs. "He-he said
I was wearing it"-Judge.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
True Devotion.
Journal.

What sized letter do you want me
to use for the inscription" asked the
marble cutter.
ooh, use the largest possible" re.
piled the widow "Poor John was aw.
fully nearsighted. "-Cincinnati En-.
nuiror
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
lobby Identifies Himself.

"And who is this?" asked Aunt
Clara, pointing to the picture of a
chubby child in skirts.
That" said Robby, who had been
wearing knickerbockers tor some time,
els nae when I was a girl. Tit Bits
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Pushed Down.

Mr.. Chellus-I thought you said
held the first place in your heart?
Miss Gidday-So you do. but the
first place, Of course, is down at the
bottom. The latest tenant is always
at the top.-Philadelphia Press
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

Have you a good ear for music?"
. asked a caller of four-year-old Ethel,
who was seated at a piano.
Course I have" replied the little
miss. why, only this morning heard
a man two blocks away playing a tune
on a grind organ. "-Cincinnati En-
Quirer.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

49, SAN Va l. GU
erick the Great,
which is soon to
be landed on these
shores. Ever since
Emperor William
announced his in
tention of present
ing the statue to
the United States
the officials of the
a d m | n i s t r alton
ton have been
6 r e a t | y p u z
zled what to do
with it. The presi-
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

sylvania avenue, a
distance of a mile
and a half, there
are only five build
ings of any archi-
tectural p r e t e n =
SONS whatever
the post Office de-
II t m e n t, t h e
Washington Star
building, the new
w i'll ar d a n d
Raleigh hotels and
the general Offices
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
At the War Game.

"The hostile colonel was two hours
late in marching!'
Yes, but considering the jag he
had last night that's not to be won
dered at -
Hes likely to find himself cashier
ed for it,"
Nonsense! With his influential rel
atives the army board will consider the
delay a well-planned tactical man
euver! '-Simplicissimus.
CI2INH
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

government DullQ-
ings are to be
erected they will
have to be placed
on the south side
OF Pennsylvania
avenue, i n t h e
squares which are
now disfgured by
long rows Of ram
shaCkle buildin gs,
discreditable even
to the slums of a
great city.
A year ago con-
gTess made a bad
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

men who were re-
sponsible for the
transfer Of the body
of James Smith
son from Genoa to
the United States
can carry into eff
feet the project
which they have
mapped out in their
minds.
1t is proposed
that the body of
Smithson shall be
-
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Too True.
Sloper.

Yes, casters by the broekside
Make asters in the brook"
But cook books in the kitchen
Don't always make a cook.
IN. o. Times-Democrat.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Clever Scheme.

The Hostler-Say, the horses won't
eat that hay.
The Hustler-Well, tie it up in pack
ages and advertise it as new breakfast
food CHICAGO American.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

S"''Nso !.a buried in the beau
tiful Hiding
which for years has housed the institu-
ton he founded. That would be Pc
culiarly fitting, and the building in itself
would constitute as splendid tomb as
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
An aggravation of personal injuries

M cSSTdVdCIOu Oh PERSONAL IuJuTIeS
caused by the neglect or failure Of the
injured person to obtain the needed med
ical or surgical assistance is held, in
Texas & P. R. Co. VS.. White &C. C. APP.
9Th CO., 62 L. r. A. 80, not to be charge
able against the party by whose neglig-
ence the original injury was received.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

Cook-I wonder what would happen
If tradesmen alters told the truth?
Housemaid-Why, there soon would
Mt be no tradesmen, of course.-Ally
Sloper.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

Senator knute Nelson, Alexandria.
Senator Moses {. cispp, ST. Paul.
Governor s. r. Van SAINT, Winona.
Thomas Lowry, Minneapolis.
ALTERNATES.
E. J. t!errinser, Norman County.
A. r. McGi!I, ST. Paul.
7. w. Hugo, Duluth.
Frank 7. White, Sherburne County.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
DAVIS Of the Week,

what are the days Of the week."
asked the teacher.
The little girl pondered deeply for a
moment.
big dinner day, washing day, ironing
day, baking day, the girls day out, last
school day and play day." she answered
fnallyl-Chicago Post.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
NEW BUILDING SITES
PLANS FOR BEAUTIFYING TEE
NATIONAL CAPITAL.
ON Pennsylvania AVENUE
This Will Be Made the Center of OFF,
cial MISUNDERSTANDING Con-
ditions That Now Exist
Other Gossip.

Washing ton.-COngress seems to
have made up its mind that if any more
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Cochran in CONGRESS.

Bourke Cochran, of New York, is once
more to be striking figure in the house
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
UnSightly Architecture.

AT present in the entire stretch from
the treasury to the capitol along Penn
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Charles w. Jenkins. of Corpus Christ

Charles W. jenkins, Of Corpus Christi,
Tex, a millionaire, has perhaps the odd
est fad of any collector of curios in the
United States-that of human skulls.
He has at present in his private museum
24S perfect human skulls. gathered in all
parts Of the country.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

Gift Of the Kaiser, Etc.
A problem which is soor- coming to
the front is the proper disposition Of
tho tot, oE
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Future Ability.

We've got a fine new talking ma
chine up at our house" .! Z {
'"That so? Run by spring.
"No, by air. It's girl baby,"-CinS
cipnati TimeS-Sta1.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Tomb for Scientists.

Washington is to have its Westminster
abbey, il some of the scientific gentle
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

Edith-Did you speak to papa?
Edward-No use to try; / wouldn't
find him in.
Edith-Why not?
Edward-He owes me $10.-Chicago
Journal.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

It's pretty careful speaker who isn't
forced to discount his first statements
more than ten per cent.
ooh, Annie!" exclaimed four-year-
old Elmer, there's hole in my stock
ing as big as a silver doIlar!"
Are you sure it's tina. big?" asked
his sister.
WELL" replied the little fellow, after
looking at it again, cts as big as 80
cents, anyway Enquirer.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24
Music

No more the songbird doth delight
The ears of sordid men,
When eggs are dear they'd rather hear
The cackle of the hen
Star
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-24

Where Can They Put VIII
The Irish standard., 1904-07-23

was the very weakest Of the human
passions, or, at all events, the COM
monest, that threatened him and his
followers with shipwreck. Yet, i'll
stead of seeking counsel or direction
from worldly wisdom or ordinary fore
sight, as other men would do in like
dilemmas, morbid haughtiness re-
jected all the promptings of common
sense. He scorned the sagacious adj
vice Of friends more loyal and sincere
than those associated with his errors
in order to repel attempts to invade
what to him seemed his inviolable
right to exercise, unthwarted, his own
will, in matters which, he blindly per-
sisted in believing, concerned him
alone, and had no bearing on the posi-
ton, the responsibilities, the duties
Of the leader of nation. Mr.. Davitt
thinks that from this point of view
time, success and adulation had
wrought change for the worse in
Panell. "In the early period of his
public career, it had been with the
help of unselfish comrades that he had
confronted political foes and danger
GUS situations. He had sought in those
days for advice and suggestion in
emergencies which called for confer
ence and for mutual trust on the part
of leader and lieutenant. Where he
departed from this practice the re-
suits disclosed an infrmity of judg-
ment and lack of moral courage
which in the end let fall the curtain
on what, at the time, had promised
to be one of the most brilliant careers
of the nineteenth century. The Kill
mainham treaty concluded, as we
now know, at time when, without
it, Gladstone would have conceded
the principle Of home rule); the Gal
way election Gn which he outraged
his friends, by forcing upon them the
candidacy of Capt. O'Shea); and the
mad resolve to face the divorce court
storm as if nothing had happened in
the world of public opinion, were all
of them self-prompted acts, performed
in contemptuous Indifference to the
views or feelings of the party whereof
he was the elected, and not the auto
cratic, chairman" Our author recog-
nizcs, however, that these were the
very events in Parnell's career in
which his secret personal relations
with married woman called into
play all that was weak, defective and
unsound in a leader to whom the
world was paying the homage of it's
admiration. "Here," Mr.. Davitt seems
disposed to predict, "historic judg-
ment may follow that of human leni-
cncy in weighing against this blot in
a great mans record the tear in
Cleopatra's eye,' which, perhaps, may
have been solely responsible for the
final frailty of the man and the alb
rupt, unexpected fracture of the iron
purpose of his earlier years.
We are glad that Gladstone dag
nosed unerringly Parnell's tempera-
ment, character aN aim during and
after the events of 1856. He recog-
nized in him man of great practical
with conservative tendencies
The Irish standard., 1904-07-23
Courtesy Of the Minneapolis Journal.

higher moral source, is very apt to be-
get intidelity to the nobler duties and
obligations Of life, and thereby to in
jure or to isolate the idol Of self-wor-
ship"
In spite of all the shadows on the
canvas, in spite Of all the deficiencies,
divagatons and dclinquencics here re-
corded with unflinching hand, Mr..
Davitt, who had not much cause to
love Parnell in his lifetime, finishes
his painstaking and veracious portrait
of the "Uncrowncd King" of Ireland
with the following magnanimous and
not unmcrited tribute: "Thcsc dis
figurelnents, Which cannot be dis
guiscd in any just delineation of Par
nell, arc but like the wart OH Crom-
wells face. They not only do not con-
ccal his greatness; they attest it by Il
kind of negative testimony which
would damn smaller man to the level
of comparative mcdiocrity. He has
left the impress of his personality and
power in the abiding work which he
did, and in the universal undying
recognition of the illustrious part he
played in the drama of his country's
struggle against one of the greatest Of
the worlds empires. His fame is a
national asset for Ireland" Our
author adds that in his opinion the
best political history of Parncll is his
own account Of his life work for Ire
and as this was given on oath before
the Parncll commission. "He is the
one leader among national heroes who
was thus called upon to defend his
actions before a hostile court against
a powerful conspiracy organized to
destroy him; and no better Testimony
to the value of his labors for the Irish
people can be found than in the dram
attic, heart stirring and praise COM
polling examination which he under
went for nearly a week at the hands
of Sir Charles Russell and Sir Richard
Webster" In the report of that ex-
animation may be read "the story of
a wonderful career, tol1 by the leader
of race; and if some day it be taken
from the volumes published by the
special commission and printed as if
written by Parnell, it will offer
unique autobiography Of nations
champion who was original and sineu
lar in his fame, character, trials and
achievements
For useful analysis of the actual
and prospective significance of the
more or less impressive concessions
made during recent years by the Bal
four government to Nationalist scnti-
ment, and for an interesting forecast
Of 1reland's proximate future. we
must refer the reader, who by this
time, we hope, has guessed how much
Mr. Davitt has to teach him, to the
final chapters of this capacious and
'aluaDle work. NJ. w. II.
The Irish standard., 1904-07-23

unavowed, yet scarcely hidden behind
the governing head of semi-revoll-
tionary agitation. The Liberal leader
toresaw that successful reformer
would be of all persons the likeliest
to accept the responsibilities of con-
trolling and guiding the forces which
he had led in revolt against Dublin
castle and landlordism, when once a
rational concession of alternatives to
those systems should appeal to his
sense of patriotic craftsmanship. We
are assured that no one more sincerely
regretted Parnells fall than did Glad
stone: can invaluable man." was his
summary of the power and the po-
tential qualities Of his onetime ally.
Lord Salisbury was less clear sighted.
The Tory chieftain took the Times S
estimate of the great Irishman, and
persuaded himself that Parnell was
"a revolutionist, lHldical and an in
carnate enemy of the English conncc-
ton" This is pronounced in the bool.
before us "the judgment of prejudice,
and not the outcome of either pene-
trating or a generous mind. 1t was
an absurdly wrong view, but it beat
back the momentary reasonable pur-
pose disclosed by Lord Salisbury in
the Newport speech in 1855, and, final
ly, decided the leader of the Tory
party to fight Parnell and home rule
With the aid of the Times and Pigott,
and all the resources of unscrupulous
party warfare"
There are few more admissions as
to blemishes and shortcomings in Par
nells character and conduct which
our author deems it the duty of truth
full biographer to make. 1t is recalled,
for instance, that he was a man Of
intense personal dislikes. "Hc would
forgive anything in colleague or an
opponent but sin against or a slight
OF himself. Such an offence was, in
his eyes, objectionable. His Judgment
Of men. moreover, was as defective as
MS confidence in them was liable to
be warped by morbid suspicion. These
traits became accented in the later
period of his career" Their eventual
aggravation is pronounced ''due in all
probability to the habits of deception
and subterfuge to which he was
driven by the necessity of conccalny
his private life and his relationship
with the lady who had his will and
character in her keeping" Our author
adds that "magnanimity or gratitude,
he had none. His mind had few If
any generous impulses, and was bar
ren of all faith. except boundless be-
lief in himself. Here he possessed
the fanaticism of the zealot, and made
fatalistic confidence in his own des-
tiny the dominating idea of his politi-
cal career. He frequently quoted two
lines Of Shakespeare which inculcatc
fidelity to ones self as the rule of
existence. Herein lay the secret Of
his pride, and the vulnerable spot in
Achilles's heel. A fanatical cult of
ones own ego in public man beset
by temptations, untempered by a little
human heresy borrowed from the wis
dom Of the serpent, Il not from any
The Irish standard., 1904-07-23

Certainly Would.-Hicks: Here's
an advertisement in the paper That
says you can go to Chicago for $14."
Wfcks: eyes. but it would be lust
my luck not to get the $14 after
had got there"
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-01-16
The Chatfield Paper co. sfafs sgsgs0s sscssg. <
 Most Complete Line of Paper and Twine in State

through long continued effort to trans fer the eye that rests disagreeably on the sands around to the other side of it's head, where it may be of some service, there is no telling what varieties or notifications of voice or shape may be wrought in nature in the course of the ages.
 But let us have no lneandering. A kitten cries out, because in common with nearly all animals, it is furnished with a certain vocal apparatus; and it's cry takes the peculiarity of a new, be- cause that sound best responds to it's special vocal apparatus. Hence and es- pecially in view of the little incident which I have related, am led to believe that the young of any animal utters the same cry as it's mother for the same reason as it's mother, and not from imi- tation. think young rooster crows and a young hen caclSles, not in imi- tation of their elders, but, like the poet who ''lisped in numbers" because the numbers came" Imagine if Robinson Crusoe had landed on his solitary island with a good, fresh-laid hen s egg in his pocket, and he had put it to hatch under his pet parrot, the rooster, if such had come forth, would have crowed out lustily of a summer morning and never would have learned to say Poor Poll!, in the word. Forest and Stream.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-01-16

or less than that the German army should mark time," as far as it's num- bers are concerned, in order that the composition and morale of the corps of officers may be raised by a careful pro- cess of weeding out. Count Caprivi
 who was very capable general, also protested against the rage de nom- bres. Capt. Clausen's pamphlet is a variation ell the same theme, but with a rather different object. He says:
 Tt is an open question whether a small army, consisting of picked troops, who have been carefully trained, would not be superior in the long run to one more numerous, but physically and morally inferior. After having gone for decades ficln increase to increase, 1t is now time to pause, in order to fit up the interior of our skeleton building, and to use all our energy and means to fur f1ish the gigantic structure in a durable fashion, instead of adding new floors
 Everything can be rapidly improved and arranged, but capable corps of officers and non-commissioned must exist, since it cannot be improved.