davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Bore on Too Heavily.

"This won't 90 for only one stamp"
said the village postmaster to old Un-
Gle Kiah as the latter handed him q
bulky and much sealed missive.
"Whuf for2 What's de maddah wid
dat?''
''Too heavy" replied the postmaster,
balancing 1t on his hand.
"Umph! tole dat boy 50 when he
was a-writin' of 1t. tole him he was
writin' too heaby han. but he KEEP
on a-bearin' down an a-bearin' down
on de pen, lahk load O. hay. I'll take
It back, sab. an mex him write wild q
pencil. I amt gwine spen' NO mo- 2
eentses jes' fer his pigheadedness."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Humor ane Philosophy
1904. by Duncan NJ. Smith.
ElH HAS TO HAVE IT.
BY DUNCAN N. shlJH

II you'd great and wealthy be,
III you're anxious to succeed.
Seek fortune teller: he
Will supply your every need.
Sure success he will dispense.
II you pay him fifty cents.
II you're sick and In distress.
He will cure you every time.
EVIL spirits won't molest
II you clink him dime on dime
Great will be your recompense
II you pay him fifty cents.
Palmist and clairvoyant, he
Render will your sweetheart true
Present. future, past he'll see,
And he'll tell It all to you,
With a throbbing soul intense,
Ii you give him fifty cents.
Every one can wealthy be,
Joyous, happy, richly blessed.
Who this wondrous man will see
And disburse at his request.
In his business coin he needs
Has to have, II he succeeds.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

ORANGE retc OF an English Earl.
II came across bit Of treasure tho
other day." writes Washington au..
thor who is down on Cape Cod. 'Yt
Is the log book of the schooner Hera.
which sailed from Boston on a day
In the seventies. She sailed, with a
new first mate on board.
HE seemed an ambitious man, and
he understood navigation. The cap.
tain suspected him OF q desire to be
master Of vessel himself some day,
but there was little about him to sug-
gest that he was anything kat a sailor.
The third day out he w4X aught by
the down haul Of the mizsG land went
overheard. His body was n Yer recov-
cred. When the Hera camel lack from
her voyage she was met by two Eng
lishmen. They had crossed the wa
ter posthaste to find that first mate.
Somebody had died in England, and
well, the man who was lost or that
Yankee schooner was the Earl Of
Observation-Disclosures Post.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
TOMB OF CONFUCIUS.
One OF the Chief Spots OF Interest In
the Orient.

One Of the Chief Spots OF Interest In
the Orient.
The city Of Chufuhsien, the Mecca of
the believers in Confucianism, is In the
province of Shangtung, one of the most
populous districts of the orient. Here
,Confucius was born, and here his
sacred bones lie buried The tomb,
which Is located in one of the largest
cemeteries In the province, about three
miles out from the city above mention
ed, Is one Of the most imposing in the
whole empire.
The grave itself is surmounted by an
earth mound about twelve feet in
height, the whole surrounded by q
cluster OF gnarled oaks and stately cy-
press trees. Before the mound Is q
tablet about six feet broad and twenty
feet high, upon which are inscribed the
names and deeds Of the great founder
Of Confucianism, n religion adhered to
by over 400, ,00O, 900 human beings. The
burden Of this inscription, according to
reliable translation, is Perfect One"
Absolutely Pure" Perfect Sage"
First Teacher" Great Philosopher"
etc.
The avenue which leads up to the
philosophers tomb is even more inter
esting than the actual place of burial
itself. On each side Of the avenue are
rows Of figures Of huge animals cut
In stone-lions. tigers, elephants and
horses. besides numerous mythical
creatures. such as animals half dog
and half frog. beastswitiS four legs
ana twIce -6s many wings. lbessides- a
multitude of unnamable monsters that
never lived on the earth, in the wa
ter or in the air. Taken altogether.
the burial place Of Confucius is one Of
the chief spots Of interest In the ORR
ent
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
The curse of Money.

A negro was arrested for stealing.
He had been caught helping himself
to the contents Of the cash drawer in
the store Of Mr.. Appleton. The mag
istrate before whom the negro was
brought knew him and was much sur
prised to learn the charge against the
prisoner. Looking at the negro ear.
nestly, he said: "Sam, I'm sorry to
see you here. Didn't you know that
no good could come from stolen mon
ey? There's curse on it."
Well. Jedge." replied the prisoner,
II didn't know Mistah Appleton stole
dat money. l couldn't tell dat by Jest
lookin' at it."--Harper's Weekly.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
ODD MOON BELIEFS.
cke Orb OF Night ~ Food For tn,
= Immortal G0ds.

rho Orb Of Night as Food For the
Immortal Gods.
Certain It Is that belief I'm the moon
a. the abode Of the fathers was widely
spread among the people speaking the
Aryan languages. To the present day
the peasants In Swabia are heard to
say, May go 10 the moon II did it."
instead OF May die IL did it." Nay,
people who work on the Sabbath day
are threatening even now that they
viii go to the moon--that is, that they
will die and be punished in the moon.
A more startling idea-peculiar, It
would seem, to India-was that Of the
moon serving as the food of the gods.
And yet, though 1t sounds strange to
us, 1t was not 80 very unnatural an
idea nfter all. The gods, though invisI-
bic, had been located in the sky. In
the same sky the golden moon, often
compared to round Of golden butter,
was seen regularly to decrease. And
II 1t were being consumed by anybody
by whom could it be consumed IL not
by the gods? Hence the ready conclu-
sion that 1t was so and that it was, In
fact, this food which secured to the
gods their immortal life.
If so much had once been granted,
then came the question, How was the
moon gradually increased and restored
to its fullness? And here the old su-
perstltion came In that the souls of the
departed entered the moon, so that the
waxing Of the moon might readily be
accounted for by this more ancient ar
ucle of faith. Hence the systematized
belief that the moon wanes while 1t Is
being eaten by the gods and that 1t
wakes while it is being filed by the
departed souls entering it. A last con-
clusion was that the gods when feed
ing on the moon were really feeding on
the souls Of the departed.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Hard Luck.

"Just my luckw she exclaimed,
stamping her little foot angrily.
"What's the matter" he asked.
There's pin," she returned, point.
Ing to one on the floor near her foot,
"and you know the superstition, Of
course"
"'See pin and pick 1t up, through
all the day you'll have good luck" he
quoted.
+ Exactly" she said. "'Through all
the day. and here it is evening when I
see it."-Pittsburg Press.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
often Reminded.

How Often" said the philosopher,
ga man is reminded OF his own little
ness I'm this great woridT
Yes" answered Mr.. Cumrox, "es.
pecially IL he has three daughters who
have been to boarding school. ."-wasn.
,ington Star.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

A mean trick looks lots meaner in
your neighbor's youngster than 1t looks
In your own.
When a policeman is in bad humor
he may consider breathing disorderly
conduct.
If reason governed in affairs of the
heart there might be less business for
the marriage license clerk.
Lack Of opportunity to be naughty
keeps more men good than fear of the
law.
The man who wishes to develop his
bump Of caution should purchase a
mule.
The CRATER wishes to have every
thing reformed but the thing by which
he is turning a few dishonest dollars.
Wisdom that cannot be coined into
dollars does not receive any consid-
cradle amount Of honor or attention
In this kind Of world.
One thing that prevents q man from
using his friends more Is the fact that
they are busy using him so much of
the time.
Doubtless some women get married
SO they can eat onions whenever they
feel like it without running any risks.
The coal trust cannot get excited
over the rumor that the sun is grow
ing colder. 1t may see a prospective
customer.
II little girl could have her way she
would turn her home into IN asylum
for orphan cats.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Farewell.

Farewell
Goodby, straw hat. +.
You to the mat.
Away!
You've had your day.
Once you were fresh and bright.
Now you're q sight.
Do"t linser round the place.
Chase
Yourself. Begone!
You can't be placed in pawn.
No self respecting cow
Would eat you now.
You're relic. a has been,
A twin -.
TO back number. ~
You cumber
The earth. You've gone b
To the dump!
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
sweet womau,s way.

Sweet Maid-You must remember
that ours was q summer engagement
The Man-That means II you see any
one you like better you'll break 1t.
"Yes."
"And II see any one like better
"Pll sue you for breach Of promise"
Boston Traveller.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Not the Landlora,. r.,,e

Not the Landlords Fault. X
A travelling man found q hair in hiA.
order Of honey at Muscotah hotel and
complained to the landlord about it.
Il can't help It," the landlord replica.
II bought 1t for combed honey."--Kan-
sas City Star.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
StrenRfh.

Some scientist has declared that
there is as much strength in three sese
as there is in pound Of beefsl
said the observer. ~ 8
SWELL" replied the actor, IT M Ets
egg once that would have elm B
the other two eggs from that pa
tion."-Exchange. f1a, (, H&y
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

Esmeralda-She used to say that II
she ever married a man it would be
because she wanted to make him mis-
erable, yet she married that young
Frizzletop after she had known him
only week.
Gwendofen-Yes; It seems to have
been case Of hate at flrst sight Chi
cago Tribune.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Always the Issue.

1--WE must touch tho voters Of my
county up on the money question"
But, my dear sir, the money ques-
tion,is not an issue this fall" uc
at is with the fellows I am going
to do business WITH
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
A Thank You lob.

Teacher-You should low your
school. don't complain be lause
have to come here every days
Willie-Neither would 1 ifA could
draw salary for it. ~
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
His Titi..

did Edith marry titleY'
We'll, she married Rounders, who "a
known about town as prince OF good
fellows. s."-Cleveland Leader.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

Praying For the Sister. ~ 4 =
Mrs. Bitter--I just hate that SEsed
I hope she'll lose ail her mon
some disfisuring illness. be ruIA The
by train Rev. Goodhart- -sist nan
ter! We are told to pray for olneh.
mics. Mrs. Bltter-weil, I'm Ly0
for all those things for her:--ryy y,y ~
phia Press. dys
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Suited the Kind.

'How is Williams getting aiepgf'
Hes running his business into the
ground"
TOO bad"
mo, it's oil right. He is q well dig
ger"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
F,.IIx upd.v.too.s.

4 II doubt If you know the difference
between grand opera ana comic opera" !"
oh but I do. Grand opera In con-
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Easier to Do.

"stiii selling gold bricks to the farm.
ers?" M
mo; that was too slow. I'm selling
gold mines to the aristocrats."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Hardly an Asset,

"All is lost but honor"
We'll, that is something. Can't
you borrow money on itT'
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Hardened,

There goes man who writes many
OF the popular songs OF IT,
Some men will do anything for
money"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Pretenders.

While from miss he stole q kiss.
1t needless was, 'twixt you and mo.
Twas just a play to do that way;
He might have had dozen free.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
No Skill REQUIRED,

II wish I knew recipe for railing
heir to n million" - Sea
1T shouldn't be very hard work.
jerks did it, and he had had no prac-
tice whatever"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

Ny spark may grow greater by kim
ding my hfcther's taper.Jeremy Tss-
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Not Theee.

Three is crowd, you know.
ssThat so7 Did you ever ride on Q
Chicago street carp
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Down IN His Sire.

"He is writing for posterity."
"He must agree with the theory tina,
the race is degenerating."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Good Enough to Eat.

You see n maid. demure and neat,
Who seems quite good enough to eat,
And so she is. but not the way
You had in mind, for dare say
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
The Ioker.

That through the country he might ny.
Like Holsters on the wing.
He took an auto out to try.
And then he bought the thing.
Said the repair man to his clerk.
The while he laughed In giee,
mo odds how hard that guy may work.
I'll draw his salaree"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
A surrical Ds,er.,..

A surgfcal Dfiemma.
did Jones have appendicitis
.sThe doctors disagreed. Some thought
he had money and some thought hd
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
Humor ane Philosophy
By DUNCAN NJ. SMITH
Copyright. 1904. by Duncan NJ. Smith.
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

Z When woman perpetrates a joke
with q hatpin any one can see the
point.
Mosquitoes have some discrimina-
don; they only lunch or the cigarette
smoker as q last resort.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23
PERT PARAcRAPHs

The world would hA -the obode of
peace IL there were not SO many peo-
pie in 1t that just won't see things
from our point of view.
There isn't any use trying to cush-
lon the sharp corners OF the world
with your own avoirdupois
1t takes really clever person to be
good oil the time t y
The reason why some people don't
take physical culture exercise is be-
cause they do 1t only when they have
nothing else to DO.
In some steam heated Eats the feet
OF the radiators suffer cruelty from
chilblains yf%A
When you don't know what else to do.
ask the janitor to do bit of repair
ing. and wait until he does 1t. ise
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

1t takes a really clever person to be
good oil the time. y
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

If reason governed in affairs of tn,
heart there might be less business fo
the marriage license clerk.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

When policeman is in bad humol
he may consider breathing disorderly
conduct
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-09-23

But sut ! kept up my heart. hta ,soa.-,.
Aknt ud pc out o, sight compIefeIv ~,
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
M. l.. Haney, well knowr

M. l.. Haney, well known in
Sharp county, who left here the
first part of September, has loca-
ted at Paul's Valley, Indian Ter
ritory, and writes that he is we'll
pleas ed in that country. A
&C. B. Snow of Maxville was a
visitor at this shop Monday. Mr..
Snow has been Justice of the
Peace--in Sullivan township a
number Of years, but will soon be
out of office, his township elect
ing a full set of republican Off
GERS last election.
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
CHAMBERLAIN's COUGH REMEDY.

CHAMBERLAIN'S COUGH REMEDY.
No one who is acquainted with its
good qualities can be surprised at
the great popularity of Chamber
laln's Cough Remedy. 1t not only
cures colds and grip effectually and
permanently, but prevents these
diseases from resulting in pneu-
monia. 1t is also a certain cure for
Group. Whooping cough is not
dangerous when this remedy 10 Civ.
en-. 1t contains no opium or other
harmful substance and may be CIV
en- as confidently to baby as to an
adult. 1t is also pleasant to take.
When all these facts are taken into
consideration it is not surprising
that people in foreign lands as well
as at bomc esteem this remedy very
highly and very few are willing TO
take any other after once having
used II. For sale by all druggists,
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
BETTER THAN PILLS.

The question has been asked-'in
what way arc Chamberlaln's Stom-
ach and Liver Tablets superior to
the ordinary cathartic and liver
pills? Oar answer is--thcy are cas-
ier and more pleasant to take and
their effect is 80 gentle ard so
ag' eeable that one hardly realizes
that 1t IS produced by a medicine.
Then they not only move the bowels
but improve the appetite and aid
the Digestion, tor sale at 25 ctnLs
per bottle by all dealers.
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
S100 REWARDS S10O

The readers of this paper vii! be
pleased to learn that there Is at
eest one dreaded disease that science
nAs been able to cure 10 all its stages
&nd that is Catarrh. Halls Ca.arrh
Sare is the only positive cure now
known to the medical fraternty.
Catarrh beng a constitutional d..
aease requires a constitutional treats
ment' Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken
internally, acting directly upon the
Wood and mucous surfaces of the
system, thereby destroying the
foundatlon of the disease, and giv-
lng the patient strength by building
Up the constitution and assisting ma.
we ID dong Its work The pro.
rietors have so much faith in its
Qorative powers, that they offer One
nndred Dollars for any ca.e that
fails to cure. Send for list of tes,i.
nonials. Address
4. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Q.
n Sold by druggists, ,5c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
Notice for Publication 260.
Land Office at Little Rock, Ark. 7
August 27. 1904

Land Onice at Little Rock, Ark.
August 27 1904.
Notice Is hereby given lllat the following
~ named settler has filed notice of his in
tention TO make final proof In support of his
claim and that said proof will be made before
he CLERK of Sharp county. ARK, at Evening
shade Ark on october $, 1904, VIZ;
JOSEPH y. ROWLAND
n u No 229l9 for the southwest quarter
northeast qua, ter southeast quarter northwest
u,nrier northeast quarter southwest quarter
and northwest quarter southeast quarter section
"a. township *, north range west.
lie names the following Witnesses to prove his
continuous residence upon and cultivation OF
said landy q: C. u,r,,a..
John Casey. Andrew Casey, j. ). Willlams'
W Ii, GIBSON, all Of Ash Flat, ARK
IL. II. Myers, Register.
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07

Sterling Davidson, who has
spent the past several months at
Dallas, Texas, attending a school
OF telegraphy, came in last Satur-
day for a visit with his parents
and friends.
10 "A full line of lumber and
shingles is constantly kept on
hand at the Medley sawmill,
two miles south of town.
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07

w. s. Massey died last Tues
day in Big Rock township of con-
sumption, from which disease he
had been q sufferer for some time.
re was past thirty years of age,
nd leaves a family. oW
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
A LOVE LETTER.

) Would not interest you if you're
looking for a guaranteed Salye for
Sores, Burns or Piles. Otto Dodd
OF Ponder, Mo- writes; ~ suffered
with an ngIy'ssre fora year. but a
box Of Bpcklcn's Arnica Salyecured
me, lts the best Salve, on earth.
25c at Saow's drag store. ,...
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
FOR SALE.

"a few fine Black Minorca
Cockerells. Finest laying chick
ems in the world. Price S1.00 to
$1.25. W. B. Hamm.
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
Notice for Publication 1863.
Land o0ice at Little Rock. Ark. Ark

Land Ollice ut Little Rock. Ark.
I'fI August q, 1904.
Nrotce is hereby given that the following
~ named settler has filed notice of his IN
tcntlon TO make final proof in support OF ms
claim and that saId proof will be made before
jhe CLERK of Shnrp county, ut Evening shade,
Ark, on october $, 1904, viz:
MONROE PARSLEY
HE No. 1920 for the northwest quarter
southwest quarter section 81, township IL, norm
range west md northeast quarter north ast
quarter, section 3G, township IL, north range
west. . - IT.,
He names The following witnesses to prove ms
contiai,ous residence upon and cultivation Of
said land VIZ; .,.
Mathew A. Tompkins. Thos. J. Tompsins,.
William T, Campbell and j. A. Gay, all of
ARK, . -, |
Harry IL. Myers, Register,
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Esakes Kidneys and Bladder RiQnr
Palper Notice

Notice is hereby given that the county court OF
Sbaru County at It's October term, l"Oi, VIII let
ont the poor-house, farm and ialipers oi .i, SUN
co,infv. for n fern OF twelve months, to such
competent person as will take charge OF me
same, reside in the poor-house, feed, cl9the ana
furnish the necessary medicine and medical ~
tendance TO all peraons placed therein Ior the
smallest sum and such person shall be re-
ouircd to give bond and good security, to be
appl owed by the county court. conditioned 10Y
faithful compliance with uis contract whicn
shall be made payable to The county IN penalty
double the amount Of the bid. .ns
SEALED proposals and bids, accompanied by
bond. tle ttene of rental commencing January
Isl 1905 and ending December II, 1905, may De
filed with tile clerk of said court utll l2o'ciock
m, Wednesday, october 18Th, l0V4' eso,,,o,,,
Give, under iny hand this llth day ofSeptem-
Der, 1904. ,. ,,o,,o,, ,ua,e
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
ONE DOLLAR A YEAR.
o
eooeS
LOCAL NEWS.

P. j. Young dropped a dol
Lar IN the Record slot Monday.
Mrs. Lee Brand and Miss
Geneva Davidson are spending
the week at Batesville with rel
atives and friends.
That good-natured citizen OF
Hardy, James Davie Esq, was
an agrecable caller at our Office
one day this week. ar
The latter part of last week
M. C. Townsley and Miss Lucy
Dement, of Big Creek township
wereIl licensed to marry.
You can get your choice be-
tween a Studebaker and SPRING
field wagon from S. P. Turner at
Hardy.
Peter Hansen, prosperous
farmer of Lave Creek township,
came in Tuesday and placed a
dollar in our depleted cash box.
Mrs. Artie Metcalf, well
known here, has, On account OF
III health, closed out her millinery
busines ess at Purcell, |. IT,, and is
new teaching class in music in
the same city.
E. B, Andrews. of Scott
toWnship, who will be the 'sgentle-
man from Sharp" in the next gen.
eral assembly honored us with a
visit Tuesday, while here attend
ing levying court.
IF your wagon needs repair
ing go to s. P. Turner at Hardy
foe your spokes, fellows and tire
y iron. He has the largest stock
ever brought to Hardy. .a
Sharp County record., 1904-10-07
Hon. S. Il. Davidson Of Eve

Hon. S.. Fl. Davidson of Even
ing Shade spent Friday night in
the city. The Judge is looking
as young as he did twenty years
ago and is one of the biggest and
best men in both mind and heart
in the state, He left Saturday
morning for Yellville, on legal
business. .-Bateoville Bee ,4
" w. S. Wasson of Plainview,
Texas, was very pleasant caller
at this office Wednesday. Mr..
Wasson left this county for Texas
several years ago, and is back on
a visit to his old home in the
eastern portion of the county.
He has many friends who would
welcome him back to Sharp as a
citizen.