The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-09-17
MODERN METHODS.
humorous but Striking Review NV
congressman J. Adam Bede.

humorous but Striking Review NV
Congressman ]. Adam Bede.
congressman J. Adam Bede of Min
nesota Is an optimist and a humorIst
lie takes a cheerful view OF life and
rauiates sunshine by his quaint Ian.
guage- In recent speech on Modern
Methods he said:
When l was boy in Ohio thev psad
to have a shoemaker at every cross-
roaus. l used to have him make NV
BOOTS, because shoes at that time were
considered effeminate. If that shoe
maker Is living to-day he is in a fac
Tory The world has changed. The big
factory has come. We used TO use a
nail for threshing, but today in the
bright lexicon Of youth, there is no
such word as fail. Now we have a
steam thresher. And attached to this
Is blower which blows out the dust
ana even the straw is stacked bv hot
ar just as we run the business down
at Washington by hot air. My good
mother used to put the milk in pans
ana set them on the shelf to allow the
cream to rise. Now we have the sepa-
rator everywhere. Some Yankee figured
out that he was losing the interest on
MS Investment while the cream was
rising. So he invented a machine to
JERK 1t out at once, and carried the
MIX to the pigs as a by-product. l
can remember when a boy that hens
used to set on eggs; but the incubator
does that and the hen goes right on
with the real business now. We used
to keep bees on the farm, and before
they made honey the bees had frst to
make the comb. Now we extract the
money and use the comb over again
while the bee goes on buzzing like a
laboring man under prosperity. My
good old mother, who is now 80 years
old, was born on the shores of Lake
Erie before the time OF railroads, tele.
graphs and telephones. She has seen
more than half the progress Of the
world and is yet living. We have in.
troduced new methods and these make
new problems to solve. There is a
woman living In Chicago who can re
member when there was no railroad
there. In 1858 1t cost one dollar tc
take bushel Of grain from Chicago to
Liverpool; to-day 1t can be done 70,
, from II to 10 cents.
They used to have street cars out
West, little dlnky bob cars drawn by
mules. When they tried to run them
in the winter and the mules faced a
blizzard. they would turn around and
I. put their heads inside the door OF the
car and hold joint debate with the
conductor or take lunch of the cush
ions. Now they have large cars pro
PEELED by electricity. Rural free de-
livery Of mails has come, and the farm
er on a rural free delivery route II
better informed on public affairs, polit
lcal and scientific, than the business
e men of the cities.
a When Lee surrendered to Grant tn,
!. price Of products went up in England
= for two weeks, because the cable wa
= broken and Europe did not know TO
two weeks what had occurred. In 1898
I when Dewey sank the fleets In Manila
q the news went around the world an,
u. was heard in the White House In jus
35 minutes. 1t would almost seem a
. II the world was a new creation, wit
the electric wires its nervous system
The great world has been coming alon
: most rapidly. The only reason VIII
we cannot at once solve all problems
: that we can't quite keep up with III
procession.