Amador ledger., 1904-12-23
JUST LIKE A
MAN!
Copyright, 1904, by Belle Maniates
BY Belle Maniafes

was just thinking or you, Billy. l
want 20 coach YOU
whats on nowP"
"We've just had letter from Aunt
Maria, our one and only rich relative,
and she is coming to visit u.s.
"And you want me to do the nice
thing and show her about, L suppose.
All right Count on me-" responded
Billy cheerfully.
mo, indeed, Billy; far from it. What
l want particularly is that you should
keep in the background during her Wis
it,
'Oh, of course, if you are ashamed
of me before your rich relatives" he
replied in offended tones.
"Wait, Billy, till 1 explain. Our
Aunt Maria is widow and childless.
Naturally we are all posted on her lit
tie peculiarities, of which she has
many, and are careful not to offend in
any way There are so many subjects
that are tabooed that 1 never can
coach you on them all before she ar
rives, so when you meet her you must
keep as quiet as you can and only
"Speak when spoken to-" interrupted
Billy, like a good little boy I'll try to
remember my childhood precepts, but
l am of the opinion your Aunt Maria
will think her niece is not going to
make a very brilliant match If
don't speak, she'll think me regular
stick
ITS far better she should think that
than to have you win her dislike by
saying the wrong thing. You know
you haven't much tact, Billy. 1 am
glad of it. A tactful man seems effem-
Inate.
That's right! Put some sugar on
the medicine" he muttered reproach-
fully
But there is one subject, Billy, you
must not mention as you value your
life, your reputation and my friend
ship, Do you think you can remem-
berY'
"I'll try awfully hard. What is it?'
"It's corns"
"Corns?"
''Yes. You see, when Aunt Maria's
husband was poor-before he struck oil
in Texas-he was a chiropodist. Aunt
Maria has always seemed ashamed of
that fact, and we were always caution
ed not to say a word along those
lines"
'Well, I'll try not to tread on her
toes"
"Oh, Billy" expostulated Mabel.
when is she coming?"
Tomorrow. Come up in the evening
and CALI
The following day Billy went about
ruefully studying little memorandum
he had written out and kept constantly
repeating to himself, Mustn't say
corns." Consequently when he ap-
peared at the home of his fiancee that
evening and was presented to Aunt
Maria the only topic in his thoughts
was corns. He replied to all her ap
proaches toward conversation in mono
syllables. Finally there came a pro
longed and deadly lull, and Billy, after
racl1ing his brains for something to
say, blurted out:
Did you ever read Bunyans rPil-
grims Progressr
"Oh, Billy!' family gasped Mabel.
The whitening looks from the other
members of the family and the feeling
that he had made himself generally
disliked caused Billy to bring his call
to an abrupt termination. The next
day Mabel telephoned him to meet hel
in the park.
"Billy," she cried as soon as she saw
him, 81 know you so well that know
how it happened, but mamma and the
girls are furious at you and declare
you did it on purpose, and l guess
Billy, you had better not come again
until Aunt Maria has gone and the
family is cooled down."
Billy groaned.
"You didn't say anything about bun
ions"
at would have done no good if
had"
what did your aunt say about me
anything7"
"She asked what your business was. u
w nat QlQ you Tell Her
81 told her you were only through
college and had not yet decided what
to go into"
"How long will she stay?"
"a week. 1t will be the longest one
ever put in We must say goodby until
she goes. 1t will never do to meet you
this way again They would be sure to
hear of it"
"Just as you say" he replied discon-
solately.
After they had parted Billy walked
slowly downtown. Suddenly he saw
Aunt Maria coming toward him. There
was no escape A fiashlight of inspira-
ton, born of desperation, burst upon
Billy, and he determined to make a
brilliant coup. When he came up to
the elderly lady, who was laden with
bundles of every size and description
he stopped, lifted his hat and asked ii
he might not carry her bundles for hel
and escort her home.
"Why, yes. I don't suppose you have
anything else to do"
mo, not at present." he answered
relieving her of her bundles and ac-
commodating his pace to hers.
young man." she said abruptly
'they tell me you have no business.
don't approve of an idle man, especial
ly a young man. Youth is the time to
work"
81 quite agree with you," he said
earnestly, "and my mind was made w
as soon as 1 was out Of college as tC
the business l should follow, but Ma.
|