Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-06-09
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Emeline-Sara ana can haruly UNI
derstand each other over the telephone.
Edgar-well. talk one at time.
"Know himl l should say sol We
are husbands-n.law." "Ehf sour
wives were divorced from the same
man."-Ex.
"She told me that l might hope"
'Better look outl I've known girls TO
say that when they intended TO accept
chap."-Puck.
"Smith has lost his Job, and Tn
hustling to get him another" "Sou
aret "Yes l owe him ten dollars,
and I'm afraid he'n be needing IT,
Puck.
Stranger-Seems to me this crowd
ed street Is a queer place for hospl'
tai. Native-well. l don't know, Two
trolley lines meet here.--New York
Weekly.
"How did you get your black eye. |
SamboT "well. boss, yer SEQ was
out a,lookln' fer trouble, and dis ere
eye was do fust to fnd it"-Yonkers
Statesman.
Philanthropist-why did you change
the title Of "The Ladies' Home" to
"old Ladies' Homo"1 Mrs. Du Goods
lit was becoming too erowded.--New
York Weekly.
Parker-we've moved again. Barker
You have3 Parker-Yes; the chill
dren were so noisy that we couldn't
stand what the nelghbors said about
them.-Detrolt Free Press.
Young LADY, can always tell your
work the instant I see Il. Magazine
artist (dellghtedl-Can you, really
Young lady-Easily. The women all
look alike.--New York Weekly.
woman is naturally OF clinglng
nature" observed he, YES" re1olned
his wife, "but she isn't to be compar-
cd with a man when Il comes to hold.
ing on to a IS bill."--New Yorker.
Sam Shlnbone-I'se thinkin' OBJ
marrying dat youngest Jackson gal.
Nose Johnson-Don't do II. nigger-
don't do Il Why. dat gal never KEEP
job for over two weeks In her life
Ex.
Bring me some Coffee" said Mr..
Nurox. as he finished his dessert
"Demi-tasseT' inquired the waiter.
"Surs, II that's the best you got. and
say, bring one o. them little pots full
Of it."-Philadelphia Press.
"You are always more or less skep-
tical about what you see in print"
YES" answered the man who has his
own ideas about things. Truth may
be at the bottom OF well, but 1t isn't
an ink well."-washlngton Star
Husband (of popular author)-Do
you mean to tell me, doctor. that my
wife is insaneH Doctor-No. not 50
bad as that, but she is hopelessly fool
ish. Husband-Well. that's n relief.
was afraid her usefulness as writer
was impaired-Life.
A prison visitor recently asked one
OF the prisoners how he came to be
there. want" was the answer.
How was that. prayf" "well. want.
ed another mans watch. He wasn't
willing l should have II, and the Judge
wants me to stay here five years."-
Tit-Bits.
Footinitt (energetically helping at
bazaar)--Won't you put in for a rafile
for this cushlon1 Ylsitor--0h. no.
thanks! Footinitt-of course. it's
rather useless and gaudy, and 50 forth;
and personally think the designs
rotten. But do put in for It'll Visitor
No. thanksl l made itI-Punch.
Little Willie, who is Philadelphia
boy, had been watching a dog chasing
his tail for three minutes. Papa" he
asked, "what kind OF dog is that?'
THAT" said the father, "ls a watch
dog" Willie was silent a moment.
'Well," he finally said, from the time
he takes to wind himself up l guess
he must be a Waterbury watch dog"
Philadelphia Ledger.
When the freckled girl took seat
directly across the car from the bright
child the others were oppressed with
forebodings. But they had not long
to remain In suspense. There's a
complexion with a pattern In itr' ex.
claimed the bright child, almost at
once. Hereupon the others breathed
more freely, for 1t was likely that the
worst was over.-Detroit Journal.
Mrs. Househunter-Thi house does
not seem to be very substantially built
Even the floor shakes when we walk
on II. Agent-But madam, this floor
is-er-the very latest thing in spring
dancing floors. All the newest houses
have them. Mrs. Househunter-And
the stairs creak terribly. Agent--Oh,
we don't make any extra charge for
those patent burglar-alarm stairs,
madam.-Chicago News.
Dick-Say-seen a letter Of mine
lying around, gray envelope2 Sweep
(stops making the bed)-Do you mean
a letter starting off, Dearest Dlckie,"
and asking you to come down and
spend Sunday, and telling you how
lonely she has been all the week, and
ending up, "Your own little Gladys? !?
Dick-Ye-es. Sweep (golng on max.
ing the bed)-Then it's in your top
chiffonier drawer.-Yale Record.
Full Directions: "Your husband Is
floor walker in a department store,
isn't he?" "Yes." "Then, why don't
you have him get up and walk the floor
with the baby when she cries?" ~