Durango semi-weekly herald., 1904-11-03
HOW "LiFE LONG
DEMOCRATS" ARE MADE.

Mr.. Ward Heeler was sitting In the
sanctum OF Mr.. Wiley Politician, dis
cussing the coming campaign. He
said Il have rounded up the pie
eaters, and the "Grafters" and the
''Deluded" and have even gathered In
the Disappointed, but / still have In
my precinct man of prominence who
refuses to be led or to have anything
10 do with my organization. He is
what Is known rs a conservative.
fair-minded Democrat and he abso-
lutely refuses to vote the ticket. What
can | do with him?'
"Send him In to me- said the
Wiley Politician. Il will use my
magic influence"
Mr.. Thomas Fair was brought in.
Good morning Mr.. Fair" said Wiley.
Il am exceedingly glad to see you. |
have been anxious for long time to
ask your advice on matters OF i'm
portance. touching the affairs OF our
government"
And am pleased to talk with you"
said the Hon Thomas. But before
we proceed. should like to know
why you keep such miserable. ugly
looking dog In your sanctum-thai
yellow cur over there in the corner
with the long spindle tai17"
'Oh, he's Just stray that came in
out of the cold. He is harmless, and
let him stay out OF sympathy" said
Wiley. "And now Honorable Thomas,
know you have held positions ol
prominence In the Democratic party,
and you have long been recognized
as man of high standing. so | am
eager to discuss with you some Of the
deep constitutional questions involved
In this great campaign. And in order
that we may look deep into these
questions Of government ] will ask
you to put on these fine spectacles:
they are Of that excelsior brand
known as Blind Prejudice" and I'm
sure you will find them useful"
But" said Hon. Thomas, my eyes
are good as they ever were. can see
as well as any man.a and know what
is just right"
Wiley Politician persuaded and
fiattered and cajoled and argued un-
til finally Hon. Thomas adjusted the
magic spectacles to his eyes, just
to try them. Then Wiley. with one
swift. noiseless movement, slezed
the spindletail yellow cur by the neck
and hoisted him to the top Of an old
goods-box. And now Hon. Thomas"
said Wiley. Il invite you to take a
fair, unpreJudiced view of one of our
noblest candidates. Look upon ma
ture's greatest handiwork."
Hon. Thomas. gazing through his
glasses said: What is this golden i'm
age | see upon a silver pedestal-the
image bearing such angelic form?"
That" said Wiley. lis our beloved
Democratic candidate"
But what are those golden stream
ers OF light that radiate from our be
loved candidates head, and fall like
n mantle toward his shoulders"
THAT said Wiley. ''Is the glorious
halo Of constitutional law. and liber.
ty and equal rights for all, that hedge
about our beloved candidate"
But what is that long trailing ban.
ner that droops so gracefully behind
our beloved apostle of Democracy
That said Wiley "is the sacred
banner Of liberty. which our beloved
candidate doth always bear behind
royal shoulders. 1t Is waving even
now, as you will notice. signalling to
all the faithful to follow our glorious
leader and aid in the battle of Dem
ocracy against wrong and oppres
sion"
Then Hon. Thomas Fair. convinced
beyond all doubt. dropped humbly
on his knees, and, with streaming
eyes, prayed: "Oh Lord. | thank thee
that l have been allowed to see the
glory of this day. All my life will
be n Democrat" Then he departed
to join the ranks of the faithful.
Wiley Politician, turning to Ward
Heeler said: THUS are lifelong Dem
ocrats made The Hon. Thomas Fair
will wear those spectacles during
every campaign and he will never
desert us. have performed this mir
acle many times before. The Hon.
Chas. S. Thomas. Joe Maupin and
many others of our Life long Dem
ocrats," are standing testimonial to
the efficiency of my work. And now
Ward, give that dog bone"
Ward Heller. who fully understood
that Wiley Politician Is well as him
self, stood in the game for pie and
pie alone, then very tcrsely, but most
expressively remarked: We'll I'll be
Damned"