Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-07-08
CHIPS AND RAGS
BY LUE r. VERNON.
- Sss3333333333333s3s:

Colorado, it is all in the miner key.
The most commendable thing that
Jay Gould ever did was to become the
father OF Helen.
Every time man throws boquet
at another he expects a whole flower
garden in return.
What is the age OF the earth?"
asks the Saturday Reuiew. Let the
age OF Ann first be settled.
Baron Hayashi says that the Japan
ese have now occupied their first base.
And they took it on balls, at that.
An Eastern Washington paper states
a man while getting out OF bed "broke
two legs" Job for the carpenter?
Sammy" bought the Herald
In Port Angeles bright and fair
He and Hearst are lulus,
o, what hustling pair.
The old fashioned candle is prefer
able to the electric light, when you
owe a months light bill to the COM
pany.
Ii looks as if there would be nobody
left at home by the time all OF General
Kuropatkin's reinforcements have ar
rived at the front.
Dispatches say that beef commands
very high prices at Port Arthur. The
unfortunates there should know how
to sympathize with citizens OF the
United States.
Indications on reliable authority go
to show that Goldfeld, Nevada, will
be a world-beater as a gold mining
camp. Big strikes are of daily oc.
currence and the rush has just started.
1t is surprising to learn that the
verdict in the case OF the man who
died at the telephone, is heart disease.
He was given his number so promptly
that the shock proved too much for
him.
A Cleveland, Ohio, man drank a
quart of whiskey on a wager. The
undertaken won out. The result
would have been far different had the
fellow drank our own delightful Olym-
pia beer.
Ex-Governor Thomas, of Colorado,
declines to say what he thinks OF the
situation in Cripple Creek for fear he
will be thrown in the bull pen, which
shows the ex-governor to be q man of
judgment.
A young man of this city let his bill
at the drug store run for two years be-
fore settling. When he received his
itemized statement the first item was
chocolate creams and the last a nurs.
ing bottle. Verify time maketh great
changes.
The other day, "in old Kentuc ky"
the good citizens lynched a woman.
And just to show the world that they
are capable of being halfway human
at times, they nobly refrained from
burning her, which is a mark of high
credit to be sure.
The jurors in an Iowa branch OF
promise case in which 5000 love letters
are to be read have our sincerest SYM
pathy. The plaintiff is suing for $780,.
600 and may get it, but the jurors
will be obliged to listen to the slush
at ~ per day. Digging in a ditch on
hot July day would be heavenly
by comparison.
When Adam awoke just at dusk and
saw his third floating rib standing
before him in the form of q beautiful
female-the very one of his Dreams
attired not in choice raiments, but
wearing simply smile and a fg-leaf,
he did not get fresh and say, "Good
morning, Miss CARRIE" He just
bowed very polite-like to the lady and
said, Good Eve" And this is how
she got her name.
Here are two OIL the doctors. In
Springfield, Ohio, six yards OF gauze
we're removed from an opening in the
side of o. w. johnson. operated upon
six months ago. The doc tors had for.
gotten to remove the gauze. In New
York, a patient failing to get we'll
after an operation, the wound was re-
opened, and the physicians forceps
were found in it. The doctor had
overlooked them, and sewed them up
inside the man.
The scandals in the army grow
apace. The last one. in which two
Lieutenants in the Army on Angel
Island, California, INDUCED in q
drunken orgie at their quarters, is an
incident to cast another dark cloud on
the fair name OF the United States
army. The officers were justly asked
either to send in their designations or
be court.martialed, and thinking in
this case "discretion the better part
of valor," the degraded officers cent in
their designations. They can now, as
civilians, continue their riotous con-
duct and debauchery without disgrac.