The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1904-10-27


ablo. Murder was taught, but murder
from distance. and by an act too sim.
pie to awake revision. A step into the
empty closet ynwnlng 20 near, an effort
with drawer, a--a--. Do not ask me
TO recall 1t. I did not shudder when
the moment came and stood there.
Then 1 was cold as marble. Yet I
shall surely take my life before you
see me again, and In that old house.
IL 1t is despair feel, then despair will
take Inc there. IL II is repentance, then
repentance will suffice to drive me tU
the one expiation possible to me-to
perish where l caused an innocent man
to perish and 80 relieve you of wife
who was never worthy Of you and
whom 1t would be your duty to de-
nounce IL she let another sun rise upon
her guilt.
"A message was shouted through the
door-the message for which my ears
had been strained In dreadful nnticipa-
tion for the last two hours. A man
named Pfeiffer wanted to see me be-
fore l went down to be married--a
man named Pfeifferi
II looked closely at the boy who de.
livered this message. He showed no
excitement nor any feeling greater
than impatience at being kept waiting
minute or 80 Mt the door. Then !
glanced beyond him at the people chat
ting In the hail. No alarm there; moth
Ing but very natural surprise that
thn h,.i.ta cbn,,1d kaoe, ~ htv x,v<>xx,d
Whiting. I felt that this fixed the
event. He who had sent me this quiet
message was true to himself and to
our old compact He had not publish
cd below what would have set the
house in an uproar In q moment. He
had left his secret to be breathed into
my car alone. could recall the mo-
ment he passed me his word and his
firm look as he said, with his hand
lifted to heaven: You have been good
to me and given me your precious self
while was poor and nobody. In re-
turn swear to keep our marriage a
secret till great success shows me to
be worthy Of you or till you with your
own lips express forgiveness Of my
failure and grant me leave to speak.
Nothing but death or your permission
shall ever unseal my lips When
heard that he was dead feared lest
he might have spoken, but now that
had seen him alive knew that in no
other breast save his my own and
that OF the unknown minister In an al
most unknown town dwelt any knowl-
edge Of the fact which stood between
me and the marriage which all these
people had como here TO see. My con-
fidcnce In his rectitude determined me.
Without conscious emotion, without
fear even-the ending of suspense had
ended all that-I told the boy to seat
the gentleman In the library. Then
ITO turn and turn miserable crank
after those moments of frenzied action
and silencc-that was the hard part
that was what tried my nerve and first
robbed me Of calmness. But l dared
not leave that fearful thing dangling
there; had to wind. The machinery
squeaked and its noise seemed to fill
the house, but no one came nor did the
door below open. Sometimes ] have
wished that It had. | Should not then
have been lurcd on, and you would not
have become involved in my ruin.
II am afraid TO dc. but am more
afraid Of failing in courage. Ishall have
the pistol tied TO me; this will make 1t
seem inevitable to use it. Oh, that the
next twenty-four hours could be blot
ted out Of time! Such horror cannot
be. was born for JOY and gayety, yet
no dismal depth Of misery and fear has
been spared me! But all on account of
my own act. do not accuse God; do
not accuse man; | only accuse myself
and my thoughtless grasping after
pleasure.
II want Cora to read this as well as
you. She must know me dead as she
never knew me living. But cannot
tell her that have left a confession
behind me. She must come upon II
unexpectedly, just as mean you to do.
Only thus can 1t reach either Of you
with any power. If could but think
Of some excuse for sending her to the
book where propose to hide it! That
would give her chance of reading It
before you do, and this would be best
She may know how to prepare or COM
fort you'll hope 80. Cora Is noble
woman, but the secret which kept my
thoughts in such whirl has held us
apart.
You did what asked. You found
place for Raucher's walter in the vol
unteer corps. Surprised as you were ut
the interest ! expressed In him, you
honored my first request and said moth
Ing. Would you have shown the same
anxious eagerness IL you had known
why I whispered those few words to
him from the carriage door, why
could neither rest nor sleep till he and
the other boy were safely out of town?
II must leave line for you to show
to people II they wonder why I killed
myself so soon after my seemingly
happy marriage. You will find It In
the same book with this letter. Some
one will tell you to look In the book
l cannot write any more.
II cannot help writing. It is all that
connects me now with life and with
you. But have nothing more to say
except fOrgive--fOrgive-
''DO you think that God looks at his
wretched ones differently from what
men do? That he will have tenderness
for one 30 sOrry-that he will even
find place But my mother is there,
my father! oh, that makes It fearful
to g0--tO meet-but 1t was my father
who led me into this-only he did not
know There! I will think only of