Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-30
OLD TINE sFAVORITES

yes, signed the veteran miscellany eo-
itor. "a good many of the old-time stories
have dropped out Of the running during re-
cent years, and some Of them don't expect
to see reappear any more. For instance.
the mad wag' who used to tell the story
about B., who had a country place down
in Shropshire isn't doing anything any
more. and imagine that he's safely tucked
away somewhere In "a home for the aged.
The mad wag used to tell how he had
heard rather q neat thing about B., the
same B.. beingM sad dog, but rollicking.
good-natured fellow. even if he had always
been considered>a greet fop and terrible
ladies' man.. Nope, >ths mad wag' isn't
spinning any of EN- any more, and he kind
o. leaves void, at that, in the bosom OF
an old-timer like me.
And then the man who used to write
50 many OF EN- about how he was riding
along the trail, a-horseback, through the
Cumberland or this Iron mountains, or
somewhere down IN Arkansaw, when he
saw an old woman sitting smoking pipe
In front OF dilapidated cabin-yep, the
man who used to start his on this way has
gone, too-don't know what ever became OF
MN, put ne s dropped out. He always men-
toned the fact thatethere were a lot Of yAl-
lery and no-account dogs foolng around
the CABIN, and he caused the pfpe-Smokfng
OLD woman to give short, choppy answers.
ana 70 finally stand up and yell for Ze1e or
Zeb, and then Zeke or Zeb Of the cracker
species, would appear in the clearin', and
ne q say lot OF choppy things, too. and so
on, ana so on. Queer what's become Of
that Kind. but I guess the man who UNI
raveied EN- must ha found his way to the
soldiers home long ago.
Ana then the old stock Jokes are about
as much of the past nowadays as the stuff
or Bfll Nye-and, say while mentioning
blli wye, have you tried the experiment Of
rylrI
ana trying to get any good out Of tit did,
nome, other day. Gloomiest quarter of an
hour ever had. Same stuff that used to
double us all up, but It's awful to read
style of humor changes. But to get back
10 the old-time jokes. The custard Die full
OF ants at the picnic joke is one that never
crops out any more, II you've noticed It,
tioning. and I guess that must be tha
answer ana the sew-a -button-on-t hts Or
my-shirt joke has already gone to ioin
LOT OF other antediluvians, for the reason
simply wouldn't understand it. They don't
nave buttons on shirts any more or
enough SOS you could notice 'em, and
mats the answer to that. There's a tre-
inenoous iet-up on the mother-in-law Joke
curing the past few years. I'VE noticed
700. somehow that one played itself ont
Tor fellows in this country have fallen into
t the haplt OF getting along first rate with
a
LOOK around among. your friends ana SOC
~ I'm not right. Mothers-fn-law are ali
rlgnt nowadays-rattlfng good Fellows.
ingn.y NANCY and nice when their sons
ma" are SICK. considerable, seIf-efeacinp
ana ios OF other things-fact Is. know
some 1eliows who are SO devoted to the
COMFORT OF their mothers-fn-law who live
WIZ. IN, mem that their wives are Jealous.
iheii, TOO, the young fellow who In nro
posing for the handaof the girl ,,sed 70 cot
nlmseif kicked downstairs by the eIdaTIy
party or have the bulldog sicked IN him
mat Joke mas all but slackened up for keeps
noWaoays. Never was such a Joke that.
In my opinion, because there never w.s anr
truth In 1t worth mentioning. I bet VOL,
Couldn't remember "a case to save vour
soul OF girls father actually resortfng to
p ln, violence or sicking dog upon
daughter's hand. And, to last foke's
got 70 nave basis of fact and experience
underlying it.
:. Another one that's dribbling away fast
is the staylate joke-yot1ng fellow who hung
around the parlor until the old man called
DOWN from the top of the stairs asking If
the milkman had been around vet. and SO
on. mat always was dead one, too in
my opinion. Never saw MANY girls In INV
experience that didn't want 'em to stay
just as late as ever they burned chose
Trouble with EN- nowadays is, according
to what l hear the girls whisper, that the
young reprobates have SO many engage
they can't be induced totstay half long
enough.
Mother one that's pretty nigh fooled
out Is the young girl or the fresh boy
brother Of the one girl. who met the beau
In the parler and talked fresh giveaway
thinGs about the one girl while the latter
was Upstairs curling her hair. Always was
kind O. grisly, that Joke. Youngsters calling
upon girls never INDUCED in much rubber
necking conversation with the children of
the house about the object OF their idolatry,
and that JOKE sort of had a tendency to
make young fellows look and seem like
sneaks. But It's a mackerel now, that joe
And SO win a whole raft Of other on g
that I could mention If I didn't have 224
columns OF reprint to clip for the big edi-
ton. I hated to see lot of 'em CO. at
that. seeing that they were contemporan.
eous with all Of my upspringing youth and
young mature manhood, but what's the
use? A jokes like an old horse. it's got to
pull its last load some time. But 1t makes
me feel old to think of how many jokes I've
seen come to high, universal, pulsing life
and then gradually dwindle and croak-it
honest does. -sr