davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1904-11-10
ESoPUS FABLES.
The Fable of the Thoughtless Don.
kew


An elephant, being asked why he
was always photographed in blanket
decorated with the cabalistic letters.
G. Q. P, replied:
ThoS> decorations are a testimonial
from glad and satisfied public. am
the advance agent Of prosperity and
the sole supplier of the full dinner.
pail. | deal in nothing but goods that
are all wool and a yard wide, made
by satisfied workmen who are paid
living wages, and who in return do
good work. | make no promises that
| am not well able TO perform. and
dc not attempt to accomplish the i'm.
possible"
Whereupon an emanciated donkey
in the vicinity fell into fits of laughter
That is distinctly Characteristic o.
YOU, said the elephant severely to the
beast that had Just brayed. "You are
amply equipped with ears. and you,
vocal cords resemble the bass-string
OF a doghouse: but your cerebral pro
cess is about as valuable for thinking
purposes as hard-boiled egg. With
out attempting to prove the falsity az
my contention. you merely bray in
loQuacious derision. when, as a mat,
ter of fact, If you were a tho,r-htfu1
beast. you could profit by my exam.
re"
Moral-The mental equipment of a
donkey is limited to the control Of his
vocal cords and his ears.-Judse.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1904-11-10

The Weeds of Nonsense


A cry of joy escaped Doris Flzevir's
heart. Her father had shown genius
in collecting his material. The friv-
olities of the day stopped at nothing.
not even the sacred tenets of scholar
ship.
ooh, how father will smite theml"
she cried, and was laughing buoy antly
at the prospect, when a stern hand fell
upon her shoulder.
why this laughter" her father de-
manded, not having seen the scrap
book in her hands.
81 am rejoicing" she explained,
lover the triumph your book will have
over these foolish funny people"
What book? he asked, puzzled.
Are you not using the scrap-book
as material for an assault upon the
levities Of these degenerate days?"
He looked down at her, his brow
drawn. TiptoeinS at last to the door
he closed it tight; then he returned to
her side, and said: Never betray
what confess to you now, Doris. II
wrote those slips myself"
your" she cried, springing up.
ooh, why did your"
81 had to, Doris. They came to my
mind Of themselves, like the growth of
weeds, must say, and each of them
would not let me rest or work at more
serious things until had plucked it
out; burt | hoped no one ever would
discover it,"
ooh how should have let myself
laugh II l had known this, f.
she said with a chuckle. Let us sit
down now and read them"
mot yet" he answered, with troubl-
ed face. The editor of the Phflolog.
ical File has asked me to write an ex-
|haustive article on the origin of Yid-
Idlsh. But just as sat down to my
typewriter two lines came to my mind,
land I wrote them. Come and see
them"
They walked over to the machine,
and Doris read
A brewer in rare old Berlin
Fell into a vat to his chin
ooh. see father. This weed would
not let you write the article"
Eyes. I might say that 1t made me
feel more kiddish than Yiddish. And
| won't be able to write until I get
that brewer out of his vat. thought
II would be easy enough at first; but
I discovered that he was very big and
fat. The success of my article de-
ponds entirely upon getting him out"
'T'll get him out and at once, faith
err" Doris declared.
Don't try, daughter" he advised.
1.-THE brewer Is too heavy for you"
az shall not lit him." she answered,
gleefully; and sitting down she click
ed the keys for a minute. Then,
springng up in triumph, she read
A brewer in rare old Berlin
Fell into a vat to his chin.
He cried 'rHaf no fear,
I'll hop oudt OF der beer
BY usln' der hops vat are in.
"You are a child after my own
heart" the professor exulted. LET
us rejoice together"
"And laugh, as we might have been
laughing all these years, father"
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1904-11-10

Or at the same average varying in
slight measure in details as if the
previous eight years had been includ-
ed.
In this period, at the instance of
Secretary William c. Whitney, the
new navy, so-called, was constructed,
launched, manned and was at sea
when war with Spain was declared
The cost of the new navy is included
IN the foregoing statement. In Presi-
dent Cleveland's first term the system
of Notifications on the coast not yet
completed was planned and year by
year it has been continued.
1t now remains to prove that Secre-
tary Hay was in error if ne said that
the reduction of expenditures advo-
Gated by Judge Parker to what is
necessary for national defense would
result in disbanding the army and lay
ing up the navy if the rate of ex-
penditure now going on at $500 per
head or more were reduced to $3.50
per head, making a saving of over
$500, 100000 per year. On the basis
Ot the rule by which the inter-census
population is computed in the govern
nent reports, the average population
Of the fiscal years ending June 80,
1906, to June 80, 1909, inclusive, con-
stituting the next presidential term,
will number over S5,00O,000. In order
to meet contingencies l will take S4.-
o00,000 as a safe basis. That number
being taxed at the rate of $3.50 per
head, the revenue will average per
year s37S, 100000.
If this sum be expended for the civil
service at the rate of s1.52 per head,
it amounts to 1927 $4,000.
The interest and pensions are now
less than $3.50 per head and the pen
sions to 791 900 civil war veterans now
on the pension roll out of $4,000 vet
Grams still living. will lapse at the rate
of over $4,000 year. But even if we
add service pensions and other con-
tingencies, the average rate of PEN
sions aad interest in the next four
years cannot exceed $3.50 per head
and will probably be much less. AT
! that rate the sum would be $751; ,200,-
600. Add civil service, interest and
pensions, and we have a total Of
S27S, $50, 900 at 1882 per head, leaving
for the support of the larger army now
enlisted and the present navy with
ont the IS battleships mot yet or
dered" on tax rate of $3.50 per head,
the sum of s99,120,000 or in round
figures 100,OO0,O00. The average dur
/ ing the twelve years in which the new
navy was constructed and the coast
fertilization begun and continued was
/ s72, 100000.
1t follows that at the normal stand
ard of the cost of government
/ economically administered an III.
creased army and larger navy ample
for national defense, the sum available
for their support will be 5000, 900 in
excess of the former period or very
nearly 40 per cent.
! The expenditures of the present fs-
cal year promise to be about 5000.
100000 in excess of that rate. If this
expenditure is not due to the tenn
porary alteration toward militar-
ism and oversee expansion to what is
1t 70 BE attributed9 Is there not a
call for an investigation Of the ex-
pcnditures N every department of the
government as much as in the postal
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1904-11-10
HINTS FOR HoMEMAKEEs

Use only what you can comfortably
afford in good quality and ample guam
tity.
Let your home appear bright and
sunny. It is not easy to be unpleas-
ant in cheerful room.
A certain formality is necessary to
save everyday life from triviality and
freedom from looseness.
Know how to talk and how to lis
ten, how to entertain and amuse.
Have many interests.
Do not forget your home should not
only be a well-conducted dormitory
and boarding place, hut truly-a home
the center of focus for all interest.
pleasure and happiness for everybodr
concerned with it.-Philadelphia Bul.
letin.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1904-11-10
Moth ers Praise II.

Mothers everywhere praise One.
Minute Cough Cure for the sufferings
it has relieved and the lives of their
little ones it has saved. A certain
cure for coughs, Group and whooping
cough. All druggists
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
a New Idea about LIE
Insurance.

Ever try TO insure your life? Notice
the extreme care taken by the medical
examiner to find the exact condition Of
the kidneys? Thousands of people are
annually rejected by the insurance
companies because they have kidney
trouble. Most of those people do not
know 1t. 1t is an insiduous disease,
with various symptoms, deceiving the
doctor as well as the patient Neglect
ed long enough, it proves fatal. Heart
burn, palpitation dizziness. sluggish
ness, indigestion, losing of flesh all in
dicate that your kidneys are not prop
erly performing their functions, or that
your liver Is disordered. Thompsons
Barosma is an absolutely infallible cure
for all kidney and liver disorders. The
worst cases yield to it Immediately.
Thompson Barosma works like magic
"a strong statement, but one borne out
by thousands of authentic testimonials.
| had been confined to the house with
Kidney Complaint for seven weeks and
was most Of the time in bed. Some
time before had been refused life in
surance, as | was told | could not live
many months. At the suggestion of
the druggist, who was friend of mine,
| began taking Thompson's Barosma,
Kidney and Liver Cure, and am happy
to make the statement, which my wife
will affirm that five bottles of Barosma
completely cured me. Also | refer to
any of my ntighbcrs as to the above
facts. ORSON HOPKINS, Townville
Pa. All druggists, soc and $1.00.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
DEMOCRATIC HANDBOOK.
George F. Parker consuIts With Can,
didate on Campaign Literature.

Esopus, Sept 6.-Documents to be
issued under the auspices of the Dem
ocratic national committee soon will
be in circulation and many of these
VIII be stamped with the approval of
Judge Parker.
George F. Parker who had charge
OF the literary bureau in the Cleve-
land campaign in 1892, spent a few
hours at Rosemount going over with
th@ candidate much of this literature
Ihey took up some of the alterations
winch are to be made in the Demo-
cratic handbook as the result of the
conference few days ago between
JOSIAH Quincy of Boston and Judge
Parker.
Edward Winslow Page, a New York
lawyer who passes his summer holi.
cay IN tramping over the country.
walked to Rosemount and had a pleas.
ant chat with Judge Parker
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
A Back Action LnI,e-

The travelling men of Maine are not
ed for the jokes that they are always
springing on the public, but recently
one of them got into trouble in an un-
expected way. His parents celebrated
their golden wedding, and the drum
mer had long planned to spend the
day with them. But when the day ar
rived he found that he was too far
from his old home to get back to it, so
he sent a telegram to his father. He
thought that it was Il good time to get
off joke on the old man, so he mere
ly sent the message, rs marriage n
failurc| He was somewhat taken
aback when he got the reply. MAR
riage is not, but the results sometimes
are"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
CorteIyou at Sycamore HILL

Oyster Bay, Sept. 6. National
Chairman G. B. Cortelyou is in con.
ference with President Roosevelt at
saeamoro Hill. Mr.. Cortelyou said
he had come here to take up with the
president some minor odds and ends.
ne viii remain at Sycamore Hill IN.
IA ms evening when he will return
' New York. The chairman declined
20 discuss the campaign or anv feat.
uf' OF it, He said, however. that the
"oi@ is well in hand and progressing
S".""'hiF. The president passed the
gay quietly at Sycamore Hill until
o'oo p mp when he and his sons went
Tor long row on the bay
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
A TRYING MEAL.
The Fine Flavor of the Jam Came
From u Moving Source

The Fine Flavor OF the Jam Came
From u Moving Source.
In Mr., Julian Hawthornes "Haw.
thorne and His Circle" Is the story of
an experience which will doubtless he
appreciated by many housekeepers
who have suffered similar agony. IL not
from precisely the same cause.
One night during Mr.. Hawthorno's
term as consul at Liverpool his friend.
Mr.. Henry Bright, the water color
artist, came TO an informal supper, and
Mrs. Hawthorne. In honor of her guest.
placed upon the table Jar of especial
ly fine raspberry jam.
Mr.. Bright tasted the jam and at
once became enthusiastic. He had
never eaten any so delicious, he de-
clared. There was peculiar tang
about 1t which surpassed his recollec-
tlons OF any jam he had ever tasted
from boyhood up. He was still in the
midst of his rhapsodies and still con-
suming their subject with enthusiasm
when Mrs. Hawthorne, who had taken
a little of the jam upon her own plate,
made ghastly discovery The cover
Of the jam pot had evidently got ajar
In the closet, and an innumerable army
Of almost microscopic ants had discov-
cred the treasure and plunged eagerly
Into II.
What color the invading enemy may
have been before they became incor.
porated with the jam nobody knew. At
the time Of the discovery they could
be distinguished only by their strug-
giles with the pervasive sickness, and
only then by the keenest eyes, and the
eyes of Henry Bright were among the
most nearsighted in England.
What was TO be done? Mr.. and Mrs.
Hawthorne steathily exchanged zone
awful look" and the question was set
tied. 1t was too late TO recall the ants
1evoured by thousands; 1t was clearly
one of the eases where ignorance WIS
bliss. Mr. Bright accompanied his
meal with continual psalm" In
praise of the exquisite flavor Of the
raspberry jam, and never to the day
Of his death did he discover the awful
secret of that flavor.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
Easy Going Butcher.

The Kansas City Journal tells of a
Kansas man who went to rural
butcher shop in Kentucky to order a
porterhouse steak. II have just start
ed In on this beef" said the butcher,
"and | won't be down to the porter.
house until about . O'clock" His
method was to lay half a beef on his
block and begin at one end and cut
along until it was gone, serving his
customers with pieces all the way from
the hoof to the neck regardless of their
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
Buffalo Provision Market.
Buffalo, Sept. 3.

Buffalo, Sept. 8.
WHEAT-No. ! northern, car loads
$1'23A; winter wheat, s11iH.
CORN - No. 2 corn, 5S1sc f. C. b.
aiioat; No. , yellow, GOc.
OATS-No. 2 white, 35i4c f. o. b.
aAoat; No. white, Soc
FLOUR - Fancy blended patent
per bbl.. s6.15@75O low grades, $4.25
GE.00.
BUTTER - Creamery western. ex.
ira, tubs, 19iS G2Gc; state and Penn
sylvania creamery, 19@19hc; dairy
fair to good. 1G@17c.
CHEESE-Fancy full cream, sac;
good to choice S1Sc; common to fair
5GGc
POTATOES-Per bu.. A5055c.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
aiioat; NO. 2 yellow, Gl%c.

ailoat; NO. 2 yellow, 6l%c.
OATS-MiXed oats. 2G 70 81 u.
S5R@3Gc; clipped white, &c to 40 lbs.
t0M42c.
PORK-Mess, $1275@1S.75; family
$15.0O9155O.
BUTTER - Creamery, extras, 100
19hc; factory, 11@13&c; western i'm
itation creamery, 1361Gc.
CHEESE--State full cream, sra!
choice S%c.
HAY - Shipping, 67hc; good tc
choice 9jc
EGGS - State and Pennsylva ola
fancy, 2G027c
POTATOES Long Islarl. per obl..
S1.50@1.62.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07

Sir Michael Foster in lecture on
Health and III Health" to the mem
bers of the Workingmen's club said
that health, like happiness. did not ex-
lst. They had goal. or limit, and,
while seeming attalnable, eluded per-
feet possession. The body consisted
Of a number Of mechanisms which had
the closest and most exact relations.
AS they apprOXimated to harmony
there was health. but when discord
zane, III health.-London Telegraph.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
East Buffalo Live Stock Market

CATTLE-Best steers on sale S5.4C
Cp5.9O; fair to good butcher steers
$4.lO@44O; medium half fat ST eers
S3,5OHhOO; common to fair heiters
$2.25@2.75; choice to extra fat heifers
S3.S5@4.l5; good butcher bulls. s92F
@35O; choice to extra yeals. SS.CnG
S.75; fair to good veals. S7.O0m75O
SHEEP AND LAMRS 49, Choice,
lambs, $6.5C@6.75: culls to common
S4.OO95.OO; yearlings common to fa;t
$iOO@4.25; mixed sheep, $l.OO6i25
HOGS-Mixe1 packers graGes
S5.N5a6.OO; medium hogs, $5.S505.?5:
pigs light, $5.S5.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
NJ. PIehve,s Suncrssnr

st. Petersburg, Sept. G. - Senator
Platonoff, member of the council of
the empire, has been appointed min.
lister Of the interior and chief of no.
lice in succession to the late M
Plehve.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
Buffalo Hay Market

HAY-Timothy, per tons, loose
$l2'OO@14.OO; hay, prime On track
Sl2.OOQl4.OO; No. do do, s12.OOM
1900; No. 2 do do. $1OOO@11
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
San-Cura Ointment

Which will stop at once that itching, burning
pam. We guarantee that San Cura Ointment will
lot neal cut or sore of any kind until the poison
scars. Druggists 25c and Soc
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
MARKET REPORT.
ew York Provision Market

New York, Sept 5.
WIIEAT-No 2 red, $11OA f. o. b.
ailoat; No. l northern Duluth, S1.25M
CORN - No. 2 corn. 5SI5c {. q. n
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07

rHE
Smart & Si|berberg
sroREs.
Merchandise of the Most Favored
Sort Under Price, the Result of
Keen, Intelligent Buying.
ChiIdren's school Hosiery
Every kind Hosiery give complete sasfc
on Two % SPECIAL M numbers that are worthy of extra mention
Boys and Misses lac Heavy B ok Ribbed Hose all Sizes
Women's Stockings at 39c "a Pair Instead of soc.
Womns Fast Black Lyse Hose assorted patterns all
All Kinds Of Leather Wrist Bags
CoOr brown and black handles pock
els containing change purses excellent values Poe. 59c ST. $l5O
Two Exceptional Values n Suit Cases.
"a inch Canvas Covered Suit Case 81 30
"a inch Leatherett Suit Case s165
26 inch Leatherett Suit Case $175
The Steel corners are we'll protected with
leather aud riveted
New Printed FIannelettes.
nj NOW the time you want this sort of material looks like French Elan
etc, at poe yard.
Heavier Shirt Waists.
These are the right kind of Waists for the cooor weather that
about to all the all the latest autumn
Styles some extra hne values sale s25 $780, 81 49,
Woman's New Fall Walking skirts.
special purchase of AZ Skirts of all material
and tan only 10 goed each Peated and stitched
low the hips Special So
WOmans and Misses Wool Sweaters.
We have lot 80 Wool Sweaters in Ladies' and Misses close
we can not guarantee to everybody sold
colors white, navy, red and green choice S50
some Attractive Values i'm HOuseke eeping Dry Goods.
Glance over the list there something here you saving
English FlanDeettes at 7c
Heavy Russia Crash &c
Hills Bleached Muslin, Sc
L0usdale Cambria, Sc
Huck Ioweiag 22 inches wide. 17c; value 25c
Patterns Damask Table Linen, 2! yards 75 S4 ds
1926; value s5
20 pairs lO White All Wool blankets the Edwards Wooden
panys make value SO go at 50 so
Pillow Cases, good muslin 45x3G 12lc
Unbahed Sheets sheet is BY hand SOC
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
Fred. Grettenberge
GENERAL
BLACKSMITH & MACHINIST.

All work pertaining to Machinery, En-
gines, Oil Well Tools, Gas or Water Fit
tings and General Blacksmithing prompt
ly done at Low Rates. Repairing Mill
Machinery given special attention, and
satisfaction guaranteed.
Shop in rear of and just west of the
Shaw House, Tidoute, Pa.
Your patronage solicited.
FRED. GRETTEN BERGER
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
Pimples, Piles, Eczema
Cuts, Burns, Bruises,

letter Salt Rheum, Old Sores, Ulcers, Chilblains
Catarrh Corns, Chapped Hands and Lips,
Boils, Carbuncles, Felons, Itching
Bleeding, Protruding Piles
Insect Bites Poison
Ivy, and all
SKIN
-Dispasey are cured Nv
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1904-09-07
FuII DirectIons on Every Pnckage

kN~NNNNNNNNNNN<
We promptly obtain u s and Foreign
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1904-04-12

Heavenly visions come to fit us for
earthly service. The TRANSPORTATION
strengthened Christ to endure Cal
vary, and the disciples in after years,
in the midst of their service for the
Master, found a ground of assurance
and confidence as they remembered
how they had beheld the glory of
their Master, when he was transfg-
ured before them.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1904-04-12
Farmers Exchange
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

For the convenience and benefit Of our
readers we have set apart this space In which
they may make known their wants to M
another. Have you any improved stock, i'm
proved seed, eggs, poultry, implements, ma
you would like to sell or exchange? What
ever your want, you maystell the thousands
OF readers OF The FARMER
about 1T at the rate Of 2 cents a word for the
first insertion of the ad. and one cent q word
for each additional insertion, each figure and
each initial (includ1ng name and address)
as O separate word. Cash for the
full amount must accompany each order,
as we cannot keep books for these small ad-
vertiBementa.