The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-04-24
LLLIAM BARCLAY PARSONS
 of the Panama Canal commits

A NV of the Panama Canal commits
 sion has returned to this coun- try from Panama and delights his fellow countrymen with the statement that there is nothing whatsoever that could delay the construction of the canal so far as climatic conditions are concerned. There Is no physical obstacle in the way of digging the canal and the chief re- quisite Is fresh water. It is presumed that an abundance of salt water can be obtained when the big ditch Is completed The surprising part of Mr Parsons state ment Is that the climate of Panama Is not so disagreeable as that of New York in the summer time. While most of us would prefer to live through the warm season In Gotham rather than in Pan anna, the distinguished member of the Panama Canal commission must assured ly know whereof he speaks for he has been there. It Is cheering to know that the remainder of the commission were not devoured by mosquitoes and they will return shortly to the United States, after making a thorough examination of the canal zone.
 Prof. Russell H. Crittenden, director of the Sheffield Scientific school at Yale, has just informed the United States that it eats too much. For long time the chief concern of people In this world has been to eat enough and perhaps that accounts for the present day indifference as re- gards overindulgence. For two-thirds of hum mi fu tirO ic ba i'm a n part of the days work and this world would be a dreary place indeed if the monitions of scientists and health cranks were always needed.
 Bishop McFaul of Trenton, New Jersey, has incurred the enmity of local under takers because he Is opposed to expensive funerals. Of course the more the people are encouraged to spend their last dol lars for burying decleased relative in splendor who was permitted to live ne- glected. the more money undertakers make and 1t Is but natural for them to look with suspicion upon any one who seems disposed to interfere with their lu- crative calling Yet it is hard to under stand why some people are eager to spend
  befits their supposed standing in the world when the inanimate object of all the disturbance would rest just as com fortably in a pine box as in a sumptuous casket of silver and oak.
 Uncle sam's subjects have broken the record for drinks in the past year and now topers are wondering where the im- mense volume of liquor consumed went to- In the year 1893 the people of the United States drank B. ,s13, ,194 gallons of stimulants, for which they paid sl451,- 53s. .379, breaking all the records of pre- vious years. In spite of Carrie Nation the receipts continue to swell and while it is hardly probable that we will be- come nation of drunkards at any time soon, the capacity of this country to make away with stimulants Is enough to make France and Germany turn green with envy. It is presumed that he wat CT wagon has been lost in the shuffie.
 Up in Kalamazoo, where breakfast foods are made and the world is taught how to live properly, the contract for cleaning the streets of the business DOT ton of town has been awarded to the womens Civic Improvement league, and very properly too. It is a wonder that an enlightened citizenship has not thought of such a plan before. The broom and duster are women's chosen em- bIems of usefulness and at cleaning up they are acknowledged to excell the male animal so greatly that there Is no com parison. It Is safe to predict that kala- mazoo will have the cleanest streets of any town in the country, although 1t would be something of hardship if the natives were required to wipe their feet every time they go down town
 A poor widow has just died in New York who was surrounded with an inter esting family of sixteen dogs and thirty eight cats. It is not stated whether the cats and dogs all lived together in per- feet peace and harmony but 1t is sup posed that the old woman led a cat and dog life at best It was problem just what to do with all these pets when the widow was no more but an unfeeling poormaster decided that they should be extinguished and the whole number was executed. The old lady spent large part of her hard earned money to support her pets Her money and her kindness seem to have been wasted.
 Since the great fire in Toronto it Is rumored that the Canadian city will for bid the erection of any buildings that are not absolutely fireproof and that are