The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-03-04
We may not snatch too eagerly"

We may not snatch too eagerly
says Matthew Arnold in "The Sick
King of Bokhara."
A man of proper tact and true cour-
tesy will take time and pains to
make the acquaintance of the woman
with whom he has fallen in love, and,
what is still more necessary, will give
her time to become acquainted with
himself.
Before trust my fate to thee,
Or place my hand in thine;
Before I let thy future give
Color and form to mine;
Before peril all for thee"
it behooves the woman to know the
man to whom she intrusts SO much.
(. Also for the mans own sake, it be-
hooves him to be sure he is right be-
fore he goes ahead. Much has been
said and sung concerning the change
ableness Of woman, but that trait of
character is not purely feminine one.
1t frequently happens that man finds
upon further acquaintance with her
that the woman by whom he has been
attracted proves quite different from
what his fancy painted her. Or, what
is still more likely, he meets some 9TH
er woman whom he likes better. Then,
If he has been so marked in his atten-
ton as to warrant her in expecting
him to propose, still worse If he has
already proposed and been accepted,
he finds himself in a position which is,
to say the least, awkward and uncom-
Portable. Old fashioned ideas of honor
were wont to demand that having ask
ed a woman to marry him, the man
must stand by his colors and allow
neither his fiancee nor any one else to
suspect his change Of heart. Assume
a virtue If you have it not" and SO he
counterfeited constancy as best he
could, and lived q lie for the sake of
the truth Nowadays romantic ehiv-
airy has well nigh ceased to exist, and
few men are ready to go to the length
Of marriage with a woman of whom
they have grown weary. On the con-
trary, many Of the best of them hold
that all which can be reasonably asked
of them is that they shall request the
woman to take the responsibility Of
breaking the engagement, and allow 1t
to be understood that 1t is she who has
tired thereof.
Within Reasonable limits the modern
method is an improvement upon the
old. Constancy is virtue which may
be carried to excess, and becomes a
mistake when 1t is made the reason
for concentrating an engagement
which has become distasteful to either
or both of the contracting parties. 1t
produces keen disappointment, leading
to constant disagreement and cannot
fail to result in an unhappy future 1t
is better by far to confess that the
vows of faith and love so fervently
made cannot be kept than to hold on
to them after they have ceased to be
aught but a hollow mockery. Still,
this is a choice Of evils, and it would
have been better If the vows had been
withheld until the love which uttered
them was deeply rooted enough to en-
dure. Lightly come, lightly CO." is
an old saw, the teeth Of which are
still sharp. While an engagement is
far and away less serious matter
than marriage, and commits no one
irrevocably, still it should be regarded
as of sufficient Importance to demand
forethought, judgment, and careful
consideration in the making, as well
as hesitation in the breaking. For
when vows are broken the smashed
pieces rarely fail to cut and bruise
even if they do not wound cruelty, No
man has any business to ask a woman
to marry him unless he is certain of his
own wish and intention to make her
his wife; no woman has any excuse for
saying Yes" to such a proposal with
out the full meaning to be a true and
loyal wife to her lover. Thus ones
duty to ones neighbor inperatively
exacts that the love which is proffered
in exchange for q heart and life
should be true and steadfast. Impa-
thence often defeats its own ends.
asHe goes surely who goes slowly"
Wisely slow, they stumble that run
fast