The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-12-08

T now developes that Sir Edward
Clarke's suggestion that the United
! States be called "Usona" instead of
America" was all joke and our witty
British cousins are disposed to laugh
in their sleeves at the density of Amer
leans who boast so much Of their abil-
ity to appreciate humor but have taken
Sir Edwards frolicsome jest in earnest. In
truth the remark was beastly funny
ha! hal and the guests are reported to
have roared with laughter at Sir Ed
wards ducedly clever hit. Just think Of
it, The people of the United States pro-
posed to call their country America-the
name had already been adopted in dip
lomatio correspondence-and there was a
brilliant company at the dinner, includ-
ing Mr.. Choate. Then the idea flashed
across Sir Edwards mind. In a trice he
had launched 1t upon the unsuspecting
company. Remarkably funny Sir Ed
ward probably remained awake all night
chuckllng over this exhibition of his peer
less wit and then 1t passed entirely over
the heads of the American people Any
body can see the joke Instead of calling
your country America, you boastful
Americans should dub 1t "Usona." ''Uso-
na'-from U. S.-hal ha! If Sir Edward
had recommended that the United States
be called "Grabland" some of the peo-
pie might at least have understood the
drift of his remarks.
The chewing gum trust announces that
the world is acquiring the gum chewing
habit with startling rapidity. OF course
the increasing popularity of chewing gum
means more business for the trust but 1t
| is unfortunate that a habit which is
usually associated with music hall fire.
quenters and Bowery bellies is getting
such hold on England, the continent of
Europe, South Africa and Australia.
At last General Nelson A. Miles has ac-
quired a Job. He has recently been ap-
pointed adjutant general of the Massa-
chusetts state militia by Governor Elect
Douglas. Although his term of office will
be only one year. according to precedent
he may continue In office for an indefi-
mite time If he is viewed with favor
by succeeding governors of Massachu-
SETS This appointment will practically
restore General Miles to the active list
In the United States army from which
he had retired, as the Dick law provides
that when a regular army officer on
the retired list Is assigned to active
duty in any state he Is restored to the
active list of the army and is entitled to
full pay. The combined salary that Cen
eral Miles will receive from the govern
ment and from the state of Massachu-
setts will amount to $14100 a year. quite
tidy sum for a man who has very little
work to do. The general has been casting
about for place to anchor ever since
he retired with scant courtesy from the
Roosevelt regime and his friends, who
think he was rather harshly treated, re-
joice that he has found a soft berth at
last.
Out In Indiana where the poets grow
two chicken thieves started to make a
raid on the roosts that would go down
into history but they came to grief, as
the sequence will show. These enterpris-
ing fellows had team of mules and a
wagon equipped with sleeping car &C
commodations for stolen fowls. AS luck
would have 1t an irate farmer pursued
the thieves after they had taken on a
| forced