davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

Two little maids of four and six
years, respectively, were seated on
stool. Presently the elder of the two
said, refectively: Don't you think
that if one of us was to get up there
would be more room for me?"-Chica-
go Record-H Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
A Many-Sidcd Affair.

The other members of his family
are as mean and contemptible as they
can be, according to his story"
"Oh, ! guess there are two sides to
that story"
Huh! II it's family row guess
there are at least half a dozen sides
to it,"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
The Old Problem.

How do you like housekeeping"
Well" answered the recently mar.
ried man, its only partial success.
The people who come to visit us are
we'll enough pleased to stay a long
time, but we can't get the servant
girls to agree with them. "-Washing.
ton Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

Mother-"What! Fighting again?
Such black eye! If you'd only fol.
low the lead Of the minister's liuUle
boy" TOMMY did try to, b.
he led agen wild his right. an da,
here he biffed me."-Philadelphio
Ledger.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

by Jinks!" said the man who keeps
track of things theatrical, Il would
like to see one prima donna sing
as well as her press agent says
she can" IF she could" says the
gin who also keeps track of the
way things go. her press agent
would say she sung great deal
better than that."-Chicago Chronicle
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
Not Hard on the Horse.

Fuddy-Oh, yes, horseback exercise
may be all right for you, but isn't It
rather hard on the horse?
Duddy-I don't see why it should
be. You know l rest the horse right
along; I'm up in the air half the time.
Boston Transcript.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

"Ah!" said Mr.. Borem, sitting with
her in a secluded bower near the moon
lit lake, isn't it delightful to be out
here alone?" Yes, was enjoying it
so before you came" she replied,
y-Philadelphia Ledger.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

Nearly all animals are afraid of fire,
and will fee from it in terror. To
others there is fascination about the
fame, and they will walk into it, even
though tortured by the heat. A horse
In a burning stable goes mad with
fear. but dog is as cool in fire as
at any time. He keeps his nose down
TO the floor, where the air is purest,
and sets himself calmly to finding his
way out
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
Quit Burning Straw.

The old wasteful habit Of burning
all the straw on the farm is still fol
lowed on those farms that do not have
a good deal Of stock. Even where It
is possible to utilize the straw by
hauling 1t to the barnyard Ii is still
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

she claims she's a fine singer. Do
you think she ought to see a vocal
teacher"
No"
Who them"
"a claim adjuster."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
Ask Your DRUGGIST for Aliens Foot.ease.

ASK Your Druggist tor Aliens r oot.ease.
81 tried ALIENS FOOT-EASE recent
ly, and have just bought another supply. 1t
has cured my corns, and the hot, burning
and itching sensation in my feet which was
almost unbearable, and would not be with
out it now.-Mrs. w. ]. Walker, Camden,
N. j." Sold by all Druggists, 25c.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

In selecting a peach tree to plant
the experienced orchardist selects one
not over FIVE feet tall and with d.
ameter of less than an inch. Some
even select whips three feet tall. The
amateur wants big tree, not know
ing that it will not make the growth
of the younger tree. .-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

all the latest mod
els that are made
of materials soft
enough to allow of
uch treatment.
The very graceful
S kirt illustrated
combines the two
features and is
m a de of willow
green yelling, the
tucks S ! m p ] Y
stitched with cor
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
BASQUE Waist in pfrectoire styIe

Directoire styles are always attrac-
tive with their big pointed revers, and
are to be noted among the latest and
most desirable shown. The very styl-
ish waist illustrated includes also the
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
Not Quite So Bad.

Irate Caler-Say, what do you mean
by Publishing the statement in yester-
days paper that l had eloped with a
Cleveland girl?
I.iitor-Why, isn't the report true?
lrate Caller-I should say not. The
lady in the case is a native of Colum.
bus.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
His Experience.

NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. it, barber.
what are you doing with my hair?
Did you ever handle the shears be-
fore to-day?
The Barber-Yes, sir, l used to trim
hedges.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
Took a Rise Out of Himself.

He was in an angry passion"
IS "Yes?"
He tried to poison himself, but
mistook a cake of yeast for the poi
sou"
"Yes?"
And the yeast cake made his angry
passions risS"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

Uniformity in fruit packing is de-
sired. as buyers are constantly looking
for uniform packing instead of I'M
uniform packing. The buyer does not
know what price he can afford to pay
for a consignment that is not uniform
and so pays the smallest possible
price.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
STORIETTES.

A Chicago automobile on a rampage
skipped the sidewalk, and took a head
er into basement cobbler-shop, turn
ing a Sw somersaults, and finally
stopping, suffering, with it's wheels
revolving in the air. The old cobbler
was found jammed into a corner OF
the shop, unhurt, but dazed. What
did You think it was?" his rescuers
asked. 81 fought" he gasped, "dot it
vas customer vat vas mad about hees
shoes!"
A London lady who tried to climb
over a stile the first day of her coun-
try vacation, certainly thought she
had left London a couple of hundred
miles away; but she rather wished.
all the same, that the country was
not so densely populated, and she
turned an appealing look upon tina
rustic gaffer who insisted on watching
her climb. A broad grin spread over
his countenance as he caught her
meaning. 'Lor bless ye, mum. don't
be shy before me-" he adjured her:
81 was a bus conductor for fifteen
years."
The house in Portland, Me. whers
LOngfellow was born, is now a tene-
ment in the poorer part of the city.
mostly inhabited by Irish. A few years
ago a teacher in Portland was giving
a lesson on the life of the poet At
the end of the hour, she began to
question her class. Where was
Longfellow born" she asked. A
small boy waved his hand vigorously.
When the teacher called on him, his
answer did not seem to astonish the
rest of the class, but it was a cold
shock to her. In Patsy Magees bed
ROOM" he said.
An irasible old colonel, who used
to play golf at Sandwish, which is on
the river Stour had habit, common
with many, OF blaming everybody but
himself for his bad strokes. Finally
one day, becoming badly bunkered,
he first took mighty vengeance on the
turf with his club; then, glazing
around in expectation of the usually
friendly comments, and nobody say
ing anything, he blurted out: How
the devil can you expect a man to
play decent golf on these cursed links
with ships passing up and down the
cnannel?"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03
Sectional Shirred Skirt.

Shirrings and tucks continue to be
favortes of fashion and are shown in
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

The most polite people in the world
are those who have gold bricks to sell
you.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

The Babcock test should be within
the reach of every farmer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-11-03

Tourist Coat With Fitted Back.
The tourist coat fills many needs
and has come to be a general favor
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10
9@@@@W@@@ @@@@@@@@@ @@@@@W@@ @W@@@@@@@@@@W

selves, but for all the nations of the
| earth.
| The display of great military arma
ments may please the eye and, for the
moment, excite the pride of the citi-
zen, but it cannot bring to the country
| the brains, Drawn and muscle of a sin.
gle immigrant, nor induce the invest
mcnt here of a dollar of capital. OF
course such armament as may be
necessary for the security of the coun-
try and the protection of the rights
of it's citizens, at home or abroad, must
| be maintained. Any other course
| would be not only false economy, but
| pUsilanimOus. | protest, however,
against the feeling. now far too prev
alent. that by reason of the command
| ing position we have assumed in the
world. we must take part in the dis
putes and broils of foreign countries
and that because we have grown great
we should intervene in every import
ant question that arises in other parts
of the world | also protest against
the erection of any such military es-
adjustment as would be required to
maintain the country in that attitude.
We should cOnfine our international
activities solely TO matters in which
the rights of the country or of our citi-
zens are directly involved. That is not
situation of isolation, but of indie
pendence.
The government of the United States
was organized solely for tho people of
the United States. While it was CON
templated that this country should be
come a refuge for the oppressed of
every land. who might be fit to dis
charge the duties OF our citizenship.
and while we have always sympathized
with the people of every nation in
their Struggles for scIf-goverEment, the
government was not created Tor car
eer of political or civiliZing evangelical
ton in foreign countries or among the
| alien races. The most efficient work We
can do in uplifting the people of other
countries is by the presentation of a
happy. prosperous self-gOverning ma
ton as an ideal to be emulated, mod
81 TO be followed. The general OccUpa-
ton OF our citizens in the arts of peace.
or the absence OF large military arma-
ments. tends TO impair neither patriot
ism nor physical courage, and for the
truth of this / refer the young men
of today to the history of the civil war.
For 80 year. with the exception Of the
war with Mexico. this country had
been at peace. with a standing army
most of the time az less than ten
thousand men. He who thinks the ma
ton has grown effemina:e during the
period should read the casualty rolls
Of the armv on eithr Side AZ Shiloh
Antietam Fredericksburg and Gettys-
burg, at Stone River and Chicamauga.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10

| would be the last man to pluck a
single laurel from the crown of any
one of the military heroes to whom
this country owes so much. but insist
that their most heroic deeds proceeded
infinitely more from devotion to the
country, than from martial spirit.
AS l have already proceeded at too
great length. other questions suggested
in the platform, must wait my letter
of acceptance.
Acceptance of Trust.
Mr.. Chairman: In most graceful
speech you have reminded me of the
great responsibility, as well as the
great honor of the convention bcstOw-
cd upon me by the convention You rep
resent this day. BE assured that both
ed that | am humblcd in their pres
Cnce
| accept, gentlemen of the commit
tee. the nomination, and if the action
Of the convention shall be endorsed by
an election by the people, | viii. God
helping NE. give TO the discharge Of
the duties OF the exalted Office the ser
vice of which I am capable and at the
end of the term retire to private life.
| shall not be a candidaye for, nor
shall | accept a denomination. Several
reasons might be advanced for this po-
sition. but the controlling one with me
is that | am fully persuaded that no
incumbent of the office should ever be
&
tation to consider what the effect of
action taken by him in an administra-
tive matter Of great Importance might
have upon his political fortunes. CUES
tons of mOmCntous consequence to all
of the people have been in the past
and will be in the future presented
to the president for determination
aad in approaching their consideration
as well as in weighing the facts and
the arguments bearing upon them. he
should be uncmbarrassed by any pos
siblc thought Of the influence his de
cision may have upon anything what
ever that may affect him personally.
I make this statement. not in criticism
OF any % our presidents from Wash
ington down who has ever held the
Office for two terms or sought TO sue
coed themselves: for strong arguments
can be advanced in support Of the re-
election of a president. II is simply
my judgment that the interests of this
country are now 50 vast and the qUes-
tons presented are frequently of such
overpowering magnitude 70 the people
that II is Indispensable 70 the main
tenance Of a BETTING attitude before
the people. not only that the chief
mag strate should be independent but
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10
Party Travelled by Bont.

that that independence should be
known of all men.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10

New York. Au% 10.-Thc steamer
Sagamorc left here at s this morning
carrying 525 persons, including the no
tiflcation committee, members of tire
national committee. together with
prominent democrats, 10 Esopus to for
mally notify Judge Parker of his nom.
inatiOn for president.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10

All the news all the time - TIE
ARGUS.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10
Instances OF LnwIeSsneSS.

Impotence of the restraints of law
as well as of its delays. is becoming
more and more manifest from day to
day Within the past few years many
instances have been brought TO our at
tention. where in different parts of
our beloved country supposed Grim
nals have been seized and punished
by a mob. Notwithstanding the fact
that the constitution of each state
guarantees to every person within its
jurisdiction that his life. his liberty. or
his property shall not be taken from
him without due process of law.
In struggle between employers and
employees. dynamite is said TO have
been used by the latter, resulting in
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10

! n c 3 O o k
lovers station
is here. sock
ep art ment
on balcony.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10
Not Bent on Conquest.

We are not military people. bent
N conquest. or engaged in extending
our domains in foreign lands. or desir-
gus of securing natural advantages.
1owever great. by force: but a peo-
pie loving peace, not only for our
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-08-10

At the very threshold of this re
Spouse. and before dealing with other
subjects, must. in justice to myself
and To relieve my sense Of gratitude
express my profound appreciation OF
the confidence repOscd in me by the
convention. After nominating me and
subsequently receiving a Communica.
ton declaring that I regarded the
gold standard as firmly and irrevoca
bly, established. a matter concerning
which felt il incumbent upon me "a
make known my attitude so that here
after no man could justly say that
his support had been secured through
indirection or mistake. the convention
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1904-11-10
ESTIMATE
OF wheat CROP
South Dakota This Year Pro,
duced a Total Of "a .oOO.-
ooa Bushels,
THE WELD WAS SMALL
OF an Increased Acreage and a Fine
1852 r--I EI-..~l
THE WELD WAS SMALL
OF an Increased Acreage and a Fine
Prospect in the Spring Rust Played
Havoc and $4,000 Acres
Were Uncut.

Aberdeen, S. d, Nov. T.-Doane Rob-
inson, secretary of the Sout Dakota
State Historical society, has just issued
his final estimate of the wheat crop of
South Dakota for 1904. The estimate
differs somewhat from both the govern
ment report and the estimates of H, v.
Jones, the Minneapolis crop expert.
1t has been Mr.. Robinson's custom for
several years past to issue a crop eStt-
mate in connection with his annual
resume of the social, political ana
commercial progress of the state, and
those estimates have proven remarkab-
1y accurate.
Mr.. Robinson this year estimates the
acreage soWn to wheat last spring at
1880 acres, $4,000 of which are not
harvested, owing to the poor crop. The
average yield is seven and one-fOurth
bushels, making the total of the present
crop 24,O70, 900, being the hghtest Whea,
crop produced in the state since 1894.
This estimate vas not cached until at
ter careful research during which Nj.
Robinson not only visited all portions
of the state and consulted gain mel
and rme extensively, but he alSC
personally inspected a large number OF
representative fields. The quality o.
the grain, too, is poor and the average
selling price is S. cents per bushel, thu
crop yielding the producers but $l5,-
SS4,400, as against $29,422, 500 received
for last years crop.
Each railroad operating in the state
has reported the actual shipments o..
wheat for the crop of 1903, shown
that 40,0SS 600 bushels were shipPeg
from the state to the markets. Allowing
zone bushel per acre for seed and fOu.
and one-half bushels per capita TO
flour consumed at home n the tota
crop last year was 45,530, 900 bushels
Secretary Robinson's estimate for tina
year was 1926, 900 bushels, II. V. Jones
estimate on the same crop was bui
39,60O.000 bushels, While the govern.
ment estimate was 47,25l, 900 bushels.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1904-11-10
FULLER re a BENCH
Report Is That the Chief Justice vii,
Resign After Election and Taft
Be Named.

Washington. Nov. S.-Chier Justice
Melville w. Fuller of the supreme
court Of the United States plans, it liz
said. to resign his office on March S,
1905, the day after he has administered
the oath of office to the next president.
IT President Roosevelt is elected, it
is reported TO be his plan to offer the
post of chief justice to william H..
TAFT, secretary of war. There is no
official confirmation of these reports.
Chief Justice Fuller will be ~ years
old February II. 1905, and will then
be entitled to retire from the bench
on a salary of $40, 500 a year as long
as he lives. The recent death of his
wife contributes to his desire to spend
the remaining days OF his life free
from official responsibilities. No chief
justice of the supreme court has ever|
resigned. All nav died on the bench.
Chief Justice Fuller Is Il democrat.
II he should retire before March 4.
President Roosevelt would have an OPP
portunity to appoint q reDublican-
possibly Secretary Taft: but if Alton
b. Parker is elected. the office would
be saved to the democrats.
ME Justice Fuller has admins
tered the oath Of office to four presi-
dents-Harrison, Cleveland and Nc
klnley the latter twice. He was ap-
pointed chief Justice on April 80. 1883.
President Roosevelt would have sp-
pointed Secretary Taft to the supreme
bench two years ago. but Mr.. Taft,
then civil governor Of the Philippines,
decided not to abandon his work IN
the Islands. Should he assume the
chief justiceship he will be eliminated
from possible candidacy for president
fOu years hence.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1904-11-10
STRUCK BY ENGINE.
Farmer Residing Near Sioux Fails Hao
Narrow ESCAPE.


Sioux Falls, S. D., Nov. John
kickland, who resides neal the CITY
and is n of the best known farmers
in Minnehaha county. had a remark-
ably narrow escape from instant death
while en- route home ron a business
visit to Sioux Falls.
AS his farm is not far from the city
he started out to walk home. and for
convenience made a highway of the
Milwaukee railroad track. He failed to
see an approaching passenger train un-
til it was close upon him. The engineer
saw him and whistled to attract his at
tention. Kickland stepped to the side
of the track, but becomil 6 confused as
the train neared him, again stepped to
the track and was struck by the engine.
The fact that he was thrown to the side
of the track instead of in front Of the
locomotive saved his life.
The train was stopped, and Kickland.
who is 65 years of age, was found in
AN unconscious condition. A physician
was who found that the old
mans right arm was broke and that
he had received a number of bad cuts
and bruises on his head. body and
The physician states he will re-
cover.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1904-11-10
SHOT AT An EDITOR.
:. w. Laubman of the PIankinton
Herald Almost Killed by a
Cowardly Assassin.

Mitchell, S. D., Nov. 9.-Meagcr infol
nation of the attempted assassination
of Editor r. w. Laubman of the Plank
inton Herald, between 5 and . o'clock
last evening, has just been received
here. Editor Laubman was leaning
back in his revolving chair in the Her
aid office. near his desk. reading a
paper. His back was toward the Win
dow. when a shot vas fired, the bullet
penetrating the glass and entering he
top panel OF the chair. going through
with sufficient force to throw LaubNar
on his face, out of the chair.
He thought he was shot, and crieo
for help. but examination revealed nc
injury outside of q severe bruise on his
back. Some splinters We're removed.
County Auditor Ryan was in the Her
aid office a few minutes before the shot
was fired, talking over the political sit
uation. An examination of the tracks
near the sidewalk and by the side OF
the Herald office this morning showed
tina the Would-be assassin wore rub
Der shoes to deafen his footsteps. The
footprints lead west toward the Meth
odist church and were lost. No clue
of the assassin Ct1 be learned. If the
shot had been one inch lower Laubman
would ha e been instantly killed. A So
Haliber revolver was used.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1904-11-10
TALK or WAR.
Italy and Austria Whose Relations
Have Long Been Strained Are
Near Qpen Rupture- Now.

Vienna, Nov. S.-The attack upon
italian students at innsbruck Thursday
occasions great solicitude. There is no
attempt to disguise in certain official
circles the apprehension hat re-
lations between Austria and Italy,
which have been strained for
some time. are now near the
breaking point. 1t is we'll known
that anti-Austrian feeling throughout
Italy will be greatly increased by the
unfortunate VentS of Thursday. and
public feeling, which has long been
excited under h propaganda of the
Dante Aligheri society, may become in
famed to q wal pitch.
There can be no doubt hat notwith-
standing the earnest efforts of the GerA
pour oil upon the waters, the triple al
opr oil upon the waters, the triple al
lance is practically at an end. The
trouble was revived recently by the
failure to renew a commercial treaty,
between the two countries. ,
Innsbruck, Austria, Nov. 5.-Riotine
on q Large scale recommended at noon
and the gendarmes are using their bay
onets. There is some evidence the au-
thorities will proclaim martial law. A
strong force of troops is posted in the
neighborhood OF the Italian consulate.