Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1904-02-05
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muslc!' Yes; eve as a child he cried
every time his hair was cut."-Life.
Crawford-Women are never salts.
hed. Crabshaw-That's so. My wife
begged me to get her a sealskin coat
and now she wants to go South for the
winter.
Perfect Happiness. DO you really
believe there is such a thing in this
world as perfect happiness'Y' "Of
course; but some other fellow always
has it."-Philadelphia Ledger.
EPITAPH OF YE BOOK AGENT.
Learned he was not, in
Greek or Geography.
All he had studied was
Ought-to-buy-ography.
Life.
The Poets Meals. I'm nearly fam
ished," sighed the garnet poet. "But
you told me you had two meals a day?"
said the friend. Eyes; oatmeal and
cornmeal."-Philadelphia Record.
"Say, pa" queried little Billy,
whats an echo?" San echo, my son."
replied the old man, with a sigh long
drawn out, sis the only thing that can
fim-lam a out of the last
word"
He-Archibald saved the widow
from drowning, you know, but he
couldn't save himself. She-You sure
ly don't mean that he lost his life? He
Not exactly. The widow married
him
A Warning. Mifkins-That scoun-
drel, Jobson, called me an idiot! Bif-
kins-He didn't prove it, did he? Milf
kins-No; but Bifkins-Then
I'd advise you let the matter drop, or
he might.-Chicago News.
Patron-I suppose the leading lady
is very happy after getting all those
bouquets. Usher-Oh, no. She only
got five. Patron-Gracious! isn't that
enough? Usher-No; che paid for six,
1 Observation-Disclosures Press.
The Mystery of It. 81 can't under
stan'," said Uncle Eben, "how it is dat
some folks kin be too proud to work
an at de same time humble enough
to let de family give 'em board an
lodgin' free."-Washington Star.
Reversing the Order. Willie-Pa,
you don't get chestnuts until after
there's a frost, do you? Pa-Except in
tie case of a farce comedy, my SOL
Then the chestnuts come first, and the
frost Observation-Disclosures Press.
A Proud Lobster. Tommy Atkins
Aw! gwan, Mike, yer a lobster! Mike
-Ye father me. Shure, a Holsters a
wise animal, fur green is the color fur
him as long as he lives, an he'll die
before he puts on a red coat.-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Great Game of Chance. But
why" asked the authorities, "are you
young women so interested in this
anti-gambling' crusader" Because"
was the reply, "if we succeed marriage
will be the only game Of chance left
open to the men."-Chicago Post.
Working Both. "Dr. Sharp is quite
wealthy, isn't he? Did he make all his
money from his practice?" Not all Of
it. He's the principal owner of a very
large oil well up the State, and"
"And he makes money from the sick
and the well, too."-Philadelphia
Press.
Cause Of It. 81 haven't quite deter
mined" said the Charles Street father,
whether to have my daughters voice
cultivated here or abroad. What
would you suggest?" "Oh" said the
obliging neighbor, abroad, by all
means'-and that's where it all start
ed.-Baltimore News.
Flows your mother?" asked the
neighbor. worried to DEATH" an
swered the boy who was swinging on
the front gate. Fathers away hunt
ny. brother Bills gone to a political
convention, brother Jake's Joined a
football team, and the dressmaker just
fold mother that she'd look a fright in
mourning"
"Gee-whizz!" exclaimed the report
or. looking over his report Of the we'd
ding in the paper, "Ill bet that BRIDE
groom will be sore" whats the mat
ter?v asked the Snake Editor. "He
owns an old family homestead out in
he suburbs somewhere, l believe, and
he told me to say the young couple
will reside at the Old Manse.' The
papers got 1t old Mans"