Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-05-13

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places for his friends, but the chair
man in losing campaign has for his
reward curses both loud and deep. The
foregoing are no doubt the reasons why
Republican statesmen look askahce Mt
the national Craftsmanship, for, while
shouting "Victory!' like mad, down in
the bottom of their hearts they know
full we'll that the result of the impend-
ing campaign is very doubtful-more
SO than in any campaign since 1888.
One touch of nature makes the
whole world kin. Fathers and moth
ers everywhere, whether for or against
Hon. William Randolph Hearst as n
presidential candidate, will most heart
lily congratulate him upon the birth of
a son, his firstborn. That is a joyful
event to him and his. and every gen
erous heart will wish happiness, pros
perity, length of days and high ca
reer to the Hearst baby.
Republican spellbinders continue to
yell at the top of their voices about
Republican prosperity, utterly oblivious
of the fact that the governments ex-
penditures for the month of April ex-
ceeded the revenues by $5,000,OO0. A
few more months Of that sort Of pros
perity and Mr.. Secretary Of the Treas
ury Shaw will be scraping the bottom
Of the treasury, just as Mr.. Secretary
of the Treasury Charles Foster was
doing in the closing days of General
Benjamin Harrisons administration.
Can these sleight Of hand performers
hoodwink the people at the November
election? Nous verrons.
Republican Harmony = spelled with
big, big His great curiosity. Sen
ators Fairbanks and Beverage Of In
diana are so intensely jealous Of each
other that Indiana Republicans do not
dare mention one without Juggling In
the other; consequently at the state
convention the other day when they
commended Senator Beveridge for re-
they had to bark back and commend the
legislature for re-electing Senator Fair
banks winter before last. The green
eyed monster appears to be rampant
on the banks of the Wabash.
My bill to place the secretaries of ag-
r1culture and Of commerce and labor
in the line Of presidential succession
was introduced too late to pass at the
recent session. 1t will probably go
through at the next session.
The faculty Of making epigrams is
one of the most valuable that writer
or speaker can possess, but it may be
used to excess and thereby strained.
For instance, Secretary of the Treas
ury Leslie NJ. Shaw recently deliver
ed himself Of this remarkable SEN
tence: "The Spanish war placed the
Pacific ocean logically where she has
always been naturally" Just how
that war or any other war can place
the Pacific or any other ocean any
where will perhaps forever remain a
profound mystery to everybody except
Mr.. Shaw. Then, in making female
Of the ocean, he flies in the face Of
Lord Byron, who wrote Of 1t as Of a
male lion, talks Of laying a hand upon
his "mane," etc.
Republicans are hard to please when
1t comes to Democratic presidential
candidates. They jeered at William j.
Bryan, who is a great orator, as "a
mere jawsmith." Now they are jeer-
ing at Judge Parker because in their
opinion he talks too little. Persons
who live in glass houses should not
cast stones, SO we are told. Republic
ans should remember that old adage.
They delight to honor General Grant,
"the silent soldier" and they shout for
Blaine, another Republican presiden-
tal nominee, who was great orator.
But really Democrats do not care a
baubee what Republicans think of the
Democratic nominee. They propose to
satisfy themselves in the matter Of
their own candidates. If the Republic
ans do not like our choice they may
howl as much as they please.
The morning Of the day on which
congress adjourned the Washington
Post, independent and protective
tariff paper from away back, advised
the Republicans to pass two line bill
placing "beef, dressed and on the hoof,
on the free list" Was 1t done? Not
that anybody heard Of. Quite the con-
trary. But il the Post keeps on max
ing suggestions of that sort the "stand
patters" will harness it up on charge
Of leze majesty.
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