West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-04-07

anu i"Se, tue IRAN OF the Debating
Orators.
Is Now Recognized as n War Correspondent
and a Necessary Evil.
The Second Joint Debate Between Col.
Montgomery and Maj. Flynn Takes Place
at Fellowsville.
Both Orators Meet With Grand and Crea,
Reception.
Sub-Boss w. A. Watson Made Chairman of
the Meeting
The People Are Becoming Greatly Excited
Over the Joint Debates.
AS the days grow apace the intensity Of
the excitemen. over the political situation
steadily increases until il is approaching the
danger line 10 humanity and property. My
great influence heretofore over the people
of Preston seems to be tagging which greatly
dis,urbes my serenity of repose have
always councelled our people in time of war,
smallpox and politics to remain at home and
in. the seclusion of the family circle, which
is sacred to us all, to pray most zealously
that we be served with an injunction pre-
venting US from participating in the .glories
and decoration of our front doors with the
emblem of mourning. But ever since the
first scrap between Adam and Eve in the
Garden OF Eden over the, red pippin apple
we have been having our family jars, which
frequently lead to the severance of diplo-
matte relations. The heads Of the family
part at the forks of the road and travel in
the opposite direction until they meet a
Romeo and Juliet and form another alliance.
The conjugal bliss continues until winter
approaches and joint debate is arranged,
without referee, MS TO which shall turn the
blanket to the wall and hit the cold floor
and build the fires. During my forty years
of as two souls beat as one have never
been troubled with FIRE building. Before
the ardor of our love at first sight reached
the stage of wrestling with the fire problem
suggested 10 my better half that we shake
dice as to who should build the fires, a
proposition which she readily consented TO
am free TO admit that in the shaking of
the dice resorted TO piece of strategy
Va iQ
believing that was justified IN adopting any
means 10 prevent war, ran in a few loaded
dice which CHANGED to find in my vest
pocket. The result was that my beloved
and only one lost in the shake. conlided
this secret to Deacon Brown when Cupid
made him prisoner at the battle of Love,
but the Deacon in his anxiety to escape the
fire draft forgot the loaded dice and lost by
FIVE points. now make this secret public
for the first time for the sake of humanity
and to prevent family solar plexus enter
tainments for the divorce courts.
But to return TO my second love, politics.
The joint debates between Col. S. b.
Montgomery and Maj. J. W. Flynn are
simply sweeping the county like a cyclone
The people have forsaken their homes aud
their hre-sides in their scramble to get near
the throne of oratory. On Monday last 1
was ordered 10 Fellowsvile with a months
rations and a eating gun to remain until the
close of the political war. lost no time in
starting for the seat of war, for the martial
music, the smell of powder and the taste of
moonshine liquor has never failed to arouse
the slumbering patriotism in my heart
strings. When arrived at Fellowsyille the
entire population turned out to bid me
welcome and pay me homage. They had
not forgotten that 1 was the same patriot
who came TO their defence when John Wolf
and John Homer Holt we're storming the
citadel of Republicanism in Fellowsville
with their Greenback heresy. I stood up
boldly and dehanty and flung cobblestones
at their false idols and reduced them to
ashes. While I could not hollow as loud
as Wolf and crate eloquenlly and grand
iloquently as Holt / was no less earnest in
my pleadings for the people to remain loyal
to the principles Of Republicanism, which
we're fast disappearing from the face Of
Preston county soil, which heretofore had
been so rich and prolific in the propagation
of the tenels of our faith.
The people were gathering fast and be-
coming the least bit impatient for The
oratoriesl contest. It was to be a repetition
Of the celebrated Lincoln and Douglass
joint debate and well worth the price of
admission. Sub.Boss W. A. Watson, of the
upper end Of Reno, was chosen Chairman of
the meeting. The sub-Boss has long borne
the distinction of being the hsndsomest man
in This part Of the district lie has kept
the faithful IN line by his persuasive argu-
menis in favor Of Protection to American
labor by the broad shield Of American law.
which is remarkable when We remember IL
Is farming community and has not even
hoop pole or shook industry
Mr.. Watson beipg escorted to the chair
by the Committee on Protection, spoke as
follows;
Mellow citizens Of the State Of Reno.-ft
has long been your custom to honor me by
calling me 70 the chair to preside over your
deliberations. an honor which expected
this time, and which } highly appreciate,
but / can assure you that feel that 7 am
not worthy Of this distinguished honor.
To-day We have met TO listen to two Of our
illvsifious eounlfymen, who came asking
you 70 place them in the chariot which will
convey them 10 the halls Of our Legislature.
We have but ono regret and that is thar
every member Of the Republican household
cannot be given an office, while We make
H. -. g.. 49,. ian no..