davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18
CEa&ya ron and OFF the Breed Wagon
Being Hord
na7z=J ans@IssEaa By Charles Dryden

up to my chin. After securing my face
and brushing my hair my upper works
took a beauteous form, quite pleasing
to behold, until l looked at my feet,
which were all to the peacock. Ny
fine feathers dropped and 1 felt like a
bird OF low degree among the ladies
and gentlemen in gay travelling plum
age. However, my mind was not per-
mitted to dwell on the outer man.
1t was mid-afternoon when the
Whitney cleared and the scant cabin
force, tackled the prodigious task of
laying the tables and serving supper.
Billy Rice, his three black food pass
ers and myself toted great loads of
dishes from the pantry to the long sa-
loon. This work kept us on the broad
jump, but l found time for keen side
diversion at once profitable and sooth-
ing. Connected with the pantry was
the officers messroom, in which sup
per was already laid for the dog
the wall was stacked with cold meats,
fowl, sardines, salads and pastry suf-
fiCient for five men. In one hour,
passing in and out | cleared that table
while helping to set the cabin board.
l won something each trip. and some
times double portion, devouring pie
and smoked salmon with equal eclat
while on the double-quick
My fellow food passers regarded me
with superstitious awe common to the
nt gro. Billy Rice though he said lit
tie seemed impressed by the knowl-
edge he had signed and Shipped for
that voyage living, breathing fam
ine. My skinny legs were hollow, and
l couldn't stop eating until the bones
ct ased to rattle. Two weeks on a
desultory diet of bananas, three days
iii the dry gingerbread class and one
night and the great part OF next day
at Morgan City without food had
geared me up to the mean voracity of
a threshng machine. Billy Rice at
leEgth viewed my case in proper
light.
White boy" he said, you shore
am hungry
/ confessed to faint gnawing in my
vitAls.
But If you can feed other white
folks like you do yourself the chief
steward continued. THE ship is saved. -
Blushing with pride, / said my aim
was to give the passengers a run for
their passage money after getting my
ssif filed up. So when 1 slowed down
we spread another layout for the dog
watch and pretty soon grand free
for-all foray opened in the main sa-
loon.
Waiting on table is easy enough
when you know how. Slender maidens
with their thumbs immersed in hot
soup have been seen to glide serenely
and never spill drop. but this was
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

on the contrary, it is nursed and in
dulged in whenever an excuse may be
found for being disagreeable.
The mother whose temper makes a
household unhappy should be an object
lesson to her children to avoid such
ebuliitons in their own homes later by
cultivating a manner that Will bring
happiness and obviate the scenes that
clouded their own childhood. The wo-
man whose mother was exacting and
inconsiderate can use her own percep-
tions and know that by watching her
own conduct she may correct the faults
that made her childhood so unhappy.
There is nothing like taking life easy,
to cultivate the calm that keeps
course Of plain sailing. A guard over
ones temper, for which there often is
neither rhyme ror reason, or if there
be, it is of nature so trivial as far
from justifies the outburst.
Excessive emotion of any kind is
dreadful strain on ones vitality, ex-
hausting it in way that is more diff
cult f recuperation than one is prone
to suppose The reaction of an out
burst of this nature occasions mental
strain that results in physical collapse
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

meal was on Billy Rice made a dis
covery which tickled me as we'll as
himself. Wheat cakes are one of the
few edibles that will not slop over or
spill at sea and, as our cook made
them. the cakes clung to the plates
like patent medicine stickers. My
career at once took shape.
/ could serve the wheats without at
tracing undue notice. so they promoted
me to pancake editor, in which capac-
ity issued three editions daily, with
an occasional fried egg extra. Thus.
in way, / got taste of yellow jour
nalism long before my time in Park
Row In a short time grew quite pert
and could gallop into the grand saloon
the hollow of my left arm piled high
with little plates, which 1 shot around
the tables after the manner Of the fell
low dealing poker to experts who de-
sire one card on the draw.
Furthermore. in recognition Of my
one deep sea talent. B. Rice published
pancakes for every meal just to help me
along and I'll never forget him for
that.
No matter how poor, humble and
worthless he may be. boy will do
one thing properly and If encouraged
in that one thing his confidence Is es-
tablished and he eventually aspires
to something ennobling and uplifting.
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18
A LITTLE TALK ON "TAKINC IT EASY" y - rAszn Mari

may not be so hard as at first
appears. but II can be cultivated
until it becomes a part and parcel
Of ones being. and the sweet 1t
brings VIII more than compensate
for the time and trouble in the effort Of
self-control.
II is not true that people cannot over
come traits that are seemingly heredi-
tary The well-balanced mind may dis
cover such propensities even when
quite young. and If the effort is then
begun earnestly, the traits supposed TO
be inherited can be either entirely Grad
icated or SO completely nullified as TO
be incapable Of harm to others.
Ugly dispositions, disagreeable little
ways are often excused under the plea
Of getting 1t honestly from either a
father or mother, which gives a certain
license TO allow full swing to a nasty
manner that causes more than one
heart 10 ache. The very fact that a
man or woman realizes sufficiently well
that he or she is indulging the repre-
hensible characteristics Of either father
or mother is a sufficient guarantee that
no pains are taken 10 correct the fault;
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

others. To make others happy is the
most compensating job one ever holds
down. 1t is a pastime rich in the bless
ing of happy faces.
Take life easy. Don't let little things
ruffie you: there are too many great
trials in life for one to waste time and
emotion over little things.
Little revenges gratified. little spites
avenged never accomplish any good
and life is too short TO waste your sub
stance in a way that leaves you no
power Of resistance for its greater
trials.
Take 1t easy. There are thousands
worse. off than you. although that is
not much comfort to one who has his
own troubles, yet the calTner we bear.
the more courage will We husband by
which to bear.
Life is not an cas- proposition by
any manner of means, but we can
make it easier Ofttimes by that philos-
ophy that makes US lovSble and sym
pathetic rather than the indulgence OF
tempers that fairly paint the atmo-
sphere in irritating hues.
Fret and worry make more dyspep-
tics than an unruly internal mechan-
ism ever dared to and so the man who
would escape dyspepsia and the woman
who would retain her good looks must
cultivate the art Of taking life easy
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

the crucial moment of our lives. 1t
does no good, even in the face of these
awful visitations, to rail against fate
To meet blow calmly is TO deaden its
force. We need all the courage we can
summon to bear. and to exhaust what
reserve power we may possess in use
less carping or rebellion against which
we can only nerve ourselves to bear
viii never do any good.
The mother whose disposition is calm
and loyable. who has too much self
control to finfiict her own worries on
her household, Is the mother who can
always retain the love of her children.
If they have little worries, she can
soothe them and comfort, and her own
caImness communicates itself to them.
She can prove by her manner that she
is not Indifferent to their little woes
or aches or pains, yet wishes to teach
the most salutary of lessons. If one is
worried or fretted by the failure Of
others, either sever the connection en-
tireIy, after weighing well the circum-
stances. or smooth over the situation
by such encouragement as will make
other efforts more successful.
Indifference paralyzes both the love
and the endeavors of those about us.
ENCOURAGEMENT is the greatest factor
of success; a word or a smile puts
the vim and motive power into heart,
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

Maybe l can borrow a pair from
the other fellows" / ventured, "and
II you'll show me how to get down
there I'll try
That subtle seaman pointed out an
iron ladder leading into the lurid bow
els of the ship, and / was making for
it when young man in a blue cap,
probably a freight clerk, headed me
off.
Don't try 1t, sonny" he cautioned.
That place would kill you. Nothing
but niggers can stand the fire room
See the steward. He might fix you"
did see the steward, a fat negro re-
sefnbling Billy Rice in stage makeup.
and he fixed me plenty. The steamer
was due to sail in an hour or so with
200 cabin passengers. Seven of the ten
coon walters had struck and gone
ashore because they didn't esteem the
Hon. Billy, promoted to chief steward
from among their ranks on the previ-
Gus trip Each of the malcontents
thought he should have won the epau-
let's. In a tempest of rage, grief and
modification the blighted seven jumped
the ship, ard, moreover, they boy
cotted Billy Rice so that all weli-dis-
posed coons affiliated with the Food
Passers Union kept away from the
usurper in the hour of his greatest
need.
The idea of putting to sea with the
three black dubs who struck handling
the table service for 200 people filled
the mind of Billy Rice with frightful
fo-ebodings. He would look worse than
the steward on a sampan and Billy
knew il. So he fell upon my neck as
the savior of his reputation when
said I could handle more cooked grub
than any six men, white or black 1t
was necessary to tell Billy something
cf a cheering nature in order to debut
as the only white Food Passer sailing
in those troubled waters.
Under certain stress a fellow is justi-
fed in lying. if only for mere matter
of self-nreservation. 1t was imperative
the Whitney should go to sea. had to
go somewhere, and, as we needed one
another in our business, what was
more natural than that the Whitney
and l should form a diplomatic al
lance? And yet l was hollow mock
cry; or. to put II even stronger, an
empty fraud about to bunko confid-
ing steamboat.
In a hazy sort OF, way ! understood
the duty required of me was to daily
with real vietuals, and ] was willing to
learn all over again. Mr.. Rice was too
absorbed in his own troubles to take
much notice of my general fuzzy,
sleeping-out, rained-on, fea-bitten,
half starved aspect until the steamer
was well down the bay. Billy then gave
me lovely white jacket that buttoned
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

world said he, we shall have tribu-
lation.''
But learn. too. to put over against
every disappointment, every irritation
some reason for rejoicing. The other
night as mother was putting her
small boy to bed he suddenly said:
"Oh, dear. everything looks so gloomy.
There's my hard arithmetic lesson, and
there's that boy at school who plaques
me, and my doggie's run away, and IL
all looks so gloomy" "Oh, brace up,
Leon,' said the wise mother. Think
OF your new football suit, and the
party next Saturday. and your fine
stamp collection, and your parents
love for you" Leon reflected a few
minutes on the brighter side of the
picture, and then, as he said good
night. added: 1T doesn't look quite so
gloomy, mother" For US big people,
nothing need be so hard if we get into
the way of matching every disagree
atle experience with an agreeable one.
And one other antidote to the disposi-
tion to take things too hard is an atti-
tude of mind that looks for the divine
meaning in all the hard things. Then
they lose their power to fret us. We
don't deny their reality, but we say:
well. hard as they are, there may be
some purpose of good in them. Anyhow,
we can wait a bit without fuming and
see whether after all there may not be
some blessing wrapped UP in them. In
the meantime we refuse to let them ir-
ritate us" BE of good cheer said the
same man who told his followers that
in the world they should have tribula-
tion, IT have overcome the world"
THE PARSON.
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

sometimes little understood by the per-
son most concerned.
The head and the stomach are often
two ends Of a lever that balance one An
other perfectly If the calm is sustained.
but the moment that the mental pendu
lum swings too far on either side. that
moment the physical machinery is dis.
arranged.
People with ungovernable tempfrs are
nearly always hopeless dyspeptic
wrecks, which goes to prove the theory,
They blame their irritability on the
poor overworked stomach, when that
organ would do its duty In a happy
and effective Christian manner If the
mental balance did not upset 1t on all
occasions by its hasty and ungovern-
able RACES.
A large percentage of dyspepsia can
be traced directly TO temper that is
given free rein. If the temper were
brought under control in the beginning
the dyspepsia would hardly obtain the
awful hold that gripes the vit8ls and
robs it's victim of every joy in life.
You will rarely find one possessed of
a good, calm disposition martyr to
the throes that only the dyspeptic
knows anything about.
OF course, over-indulgence in rich
food may very naturally overwork the
physical organization. but, granting all
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

THE laws that govern the action
of human gratitude are among
the hidden things of nature,
A along with the name of the man
who stole Charley Ross. the identity of
the pernicious man who assaulted Will
liam Patterson and the man who in
vented the Panama hat. Only one
thing is certain, and that is that
mighty few Of US are ever grateful for
that for which we should give thanks
and that we will all go out OF our way
to express our appreciation Of the man
who stands us up for our weeks salary
and calls il giving us a good time.
There is the historic case of Miss Cas-
sandra. who put in her time going
around the hotels and cafes of ancient
Troy informing the people that the
country was going Democratic at the
next election. Instead of taking her at
her word and seeing to it
that the judges of election were
properly apprised of their du-
ties, they chased the young lady out
of town, passed resolutions Of conf
dence in the administration and let
l4ACAliECAR CO DC nn4iilCQ III Ltit III cl uOIS
trade that came their way.
We all know cases Of this kind where
people have gone out Of their way to
take a crack at the friends who were
giving them good advice. at the same
time turning over their check books to
the green goods man in perfect conf
dence in his intention to do them good
Almost any member Of the fallible hu-
man race would do as an illustration
OF this profound truth, but for purposes
Of convenience we shall select one par
ticular man whom we viii label Smith
Smith is a safe name, because when
you say insulting things about the
bearer Of It you hit so many heads that
no ore is likely to feel called upon to
hit back. Therefore we shall proceed
TO take a little fall out of Smith.
When Smith was young and as yet
untutored IN the ways of the wicked
world he had condescended to accept
little timely assistance from certain
offspring of wealth who had been born
with a whole set Of siIverware in his
mouth and was spending most Of his
time trying to give the truck away.
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18
Fab1es for the + 6o1isf,1 ,12Ne,,uzeztz7.,.

any one demonstrated with him for
spending so much of his time
and mere tangible material for
the benefit of others, he would
smile in the modest. depre-
catory manner of the man who knows
how good he is, but won't admit it for
worlds, and point to the great number
of friends he has gathered around him
self. In case Of need, he reasoned, each
one Of the people he had helped would
resolve himself into life-saving corps
of one and dash madly to the rescue
The time came in the fullness Of
events when his theory was put to the
test, and it is with sorrow, not un-
mixed with sad exultation peculiar to
scientific temperaments. that we record
the result. Smith went up against 1t
SO hard one day that he bounced back.
After he had pulled himself together
again he cast about for some one to
come and help him pick up the pieces.
The first man he struck was the young
man with the ingrowing mind whom
he had started on an intellectual ca
reer. In spite of the fact that his
handmade college diploma had
in the holy bonds-and preferred
stocks-of matrimony with a daughter
of Slandered Oil. he couldn't remem-
Der having met Smith, although he
seemed to have heard the name some
where.
Smiths wife's cousin had prospered
in a worldly way and Smith thought
that there was a little bread coming
TO him off this particular pool, but
there was nothing doing. Instead of
bread he received a choice collection of
hot air about the necessity of exercis-
ing judgment in business and trusting
only people who can show the goods.
Wherever he turned it was the same
sad story. The people he had dragged
up on the bank seemed to have begun
to forget him before their hair was
fairly dry.
He was about ready to lie down and
take the count when the old man who
had given him his preliminary boost
long years before took advantage Of a
good opportunity to die When the will
was read Smith was let in for the lions
share of the old mans estate, apparent
ly because he had never expected it.
The moral of this dramatic tale is that
while it Is quite allowable to cast
bread on the waters. if you have plenty
of bread. those who desire to lead a
permanent and fairly regular existence
are recommended TO get their STAFF OF
life hot from the oven.
(Copyright. 1904. by Albert Brittl
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

Less than two weeks later I earned
40 cents shoveling oyster shells at
Galveston. Tex; but. as Rudyard once
said. that's another item Just the
same. I look back with pride to my
career as pancake editor.
All days look alike in the busy rou-
tine on board a crowded vessel and
readily fell into the way OF going ship
shape. Food, sleep and excitement
soon rounded out the hollows In my
boyish cheeks, and Mr.. Whitney, with
the cares OF large steamboat on his
mind, Jared we'll.
One OF the black boys gave me a
shirt and collar; another trimmed my
hair and a passenger, whose heart was
large and his feet medium. tipped me
to a pair OF shoes. The condition of
my old ones was wretched in the ex-
treme- Run over at the heel and
turned up at the side. they gave my
feet the appearance OF being set in
italics These italicized feet always
emphasize a hard luck story.
While the ship lay at Vera Cruz
they kept me on board to scrub
things. On the way back she stopped
at Galveston. There I spurned B.
Rice, rendered my resignation as pan
cake editor and went ashore 70 swing
Texas around by the tail.
Copyright, 1904, by Charles Dryden
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

the indulgence that money can procure,
and let two people safe themselves to
'fepletion, one of calm, good-natured
disposition. the other peppery and al
ways hunting for trouble. the calm one
may indulge to his hearts content. and
his stomachs capacity, feeling no bad
effects, While the cayenne fiend Will
soon succurlb and his disposition be
unbearable.
Self-control is g greater virtue than
.anyeyer exploited IN a pulpit. 1t Is the
lever that sways our lives, it's the glow
that brings sunshine into our lives.
To take life easy does not presuppose
an Indifference that Is exasperating,
and is more the luxury of seIfishness
than anything else, but the calm that
meets a situation and makes the best
of IT, To indulge ones temper does no
good, although there are times when a
spirited stand must be taken, yet even
in such cases firm, determined man
ner will have more effect on the aver
age human than all the buster that
one is apt to regret in saner moments.
There are i,lnumerable situations in
life that fall upon us with crushing
force. Griefs that tear our very souls,
losses that rob us of comforts, trials
for which we are totally unprepared,
and above ell the suffering that comes
through those who have failed us in
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

Smith was having a pretty tough time
Of it getting up the first few rounds
in the exceedingly slippery ladder of
fame and fortune. and the boost that
the scion of plutocracy gave him went
a long way toward putting him at the
top. For a wonder Smith felt some
benefactor.
Being naturally given to thought dur
ing his moments of leisure Smith be-
gan TO consider what a good thing it
was to do little boosting on his own
account whenever he saw a young fell
low laying his plans to get his name
in Who's Who
Smith did not confine his attention
entirely to young men desiring to be
treated for enlargement of the mind.
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

bound for Vera Cruz, and she only
awaited fash at me before making
an auspicious and dignifed start A
huge affair was the Whitney. vide
and fat. with walking beam engine
one of these river relics that burn
blow UP or sink as side issue to sun
day school excursions. With vague
ideas of what might be doing, /
limped aboard and asked the first
man for a job.
This large, hairy person bossed the
genteel pastime of lowering freight
into the forward hatch and swearing
in a fiorid style of his own When /
spoke about bounding away on the
laughing billows with him he regard
ed me hopefully and wanted TO know
if I had a pair of scissors. l said /
had not
Because if you had you might get
a berth down below trimming coal"
he said.
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18
THE
HARD END
OF
THINGS

tent it is matter of will Those who
are taking things too hard may by
resolution and persistent endeavor rid
themselves of this incubus on their
best lie.
In the first place, admit that bur-
dens and difficulties are a part of the
decreed programme of human life.
Don't deny their reality after the fash
ion OF the deyotees of certain FASH
ionable modern cults who have the as
surance to tell us that aches and pains
of all kinds are illusions. Not so
thought one who understood humanity
from center to circumference. In the
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

time looking for convenient places to
butt In. No matter what the need was,
anything from a load of coal for
freezing family to the capital for the
establishment of an enterprise for In
creasing the amount of fleece to be OBJ
tanned from unwary lambs, Smith was
there with the helping hand and the
word of cheer. Talented young female
persons with weakness for pouring
out their souls on the piano; equally
talented young persons of the mascu-
line persuasion who had visions of
themselves In Michael Angeles shoes;
weeping women who had lost their hus-
bands and husbands who were weeping
because they couldn't get lost-all found
in Smith a guide, counselor and friend,
as well as very easy money. Whenever
The San Francisco call., 1904-12-18

His wife's cousin blew in one stormy
day and announced his intention of set
ting W in business in a small way for
himself IL he could only find some one
who was willing to be parted from a
small bunch of money for short time.
Smith promptly informed the young
man that he had a wad of greenbacks
of which he had never been particularly
fond and that 1t would be a real service
to him II some one would take them
out and bury them in a place where
they wouldn't be heard of for two or
three years, with interest at per cent
The cousin jumped at the chance, and
the greenbacks were gone before Smith
had time to wave them a last farewell
By this time he was beginning to like
the game. and he put in most of his