West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-05-12

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and civilized citizens OF Lyon. we must OBJ
serve impartiality and show no prcfesce
for the immortals. as they are our honored
guests today. (AppIause.)
AS I perceive you are anxious 20 gare
upon the Immottals I shall detain you no
longer have the honor. my fellow citi-
zens. OF introducing to you the 6rst pie
hunter OF the Wild woods Col Samuel 3.
Montgomery
| Then followed the most terrific cheering
and hurrahing. as Col. Montgomery stepped
forward, and said:
My Fellow Citizens Of Lyon district -
appear before you today swelled with
emotions as | proudly stand upon my
native heath II was IN this grand and
glorious old town where FIRST started my
wheels to rolling for the ple.wagoni Great
appiause.) I was In this invigoratiDg atmos-
phere where l was hrst Innoculated with
the microbes OF politics (Cheers) So
far have found no political doctor to stay
the progress OF this dread disease. All
these years l have been hunting for one
and praying that l may not find hun. ZAP.
plause.) Before you hit the hay tonight
implorc you one and all TO offer up prayer
that the convention which meets In a few
days will by unanimous vote decalre that
the Senatorial pie belongs to me. Several
voices; Well do IT, I have had a Fremont
ton VIII c IA has greatly disturbed my
equilibrium. II has been sown abroad
that my honorable opponent has surrender
ed to the Corporations and Is about to skin
the cat on the horizontal bar: that he has
i hCeu raigRH N he 81 ~ -
be true. shall return from Parsons with a
look oil Senatorial pie. thou art so near and
still so fari (The audience looks sorrow
full shall never more pose as the Sachem
OF the Tucker tribe There are already
mutterings of discomfort, among my faith.
full followers that have been betrayed in
the house OF my friends. (Weeping) II
the betrayal proves true will be taxed to
my capacity to prevent an uprising OF the
tribe.
II have but one word to say In parting
with you today. and that is remain faithful
to your promises aud the Senatorial pie is
minel Tremendous cheering.y"
When the last echo had died away,
chairman Orr appeared for the second
round. He was attired In a prince albert
| NS"h "Ha hto CttdStQ 10 the
Kings taste. He wore pair OF patent
leather shoes as yellow as the brani OF
politics which Is being peddled TO the
farmers. The only thing needed 10
complete his juvenescence was a cud of
Tobacco.
For the second time am permitted TO
make my obeisance TO the stalwart
sons Of Lyon" said chairman orr.
orators may come. and orators may 90.
but 60 on foreverl (Cheers.) As the
Chief Magistrate oil your town, you have
decorated me with all the emblems of
greatness. have more medals com.
memorating my deeds Of valor than the
Gar of Russia or the Mikado Of Japan
CIerrihc cheering) As the vanguard am
always found in the front Of all political
battles. and II you find any buck shot in my
anatomy after the battle is over you will
md II In the rear and not in the front.
wild appiause.) Dead heroes tell no tales
IL you live after those who have died on
the cattle field. you may live through the
next generation as a hero. for there is none
to dispute your claim" (Uproarious
| cheering.)
'But 1 must be brief and trot along in
order TO let the other political orator prance
before you in his warlike manner. f.Go ONT,
Coon y thank you for your goodness,
and / assure you am going on at as rapid a
pace as any racker ever came down yonder
hill. DIR. Powell's climber in its young days
never took him over the hills of Reno nj n
more rapid gait than / can 20 TODAY.
tLaughter.) But ! must introduce to YOU
my venerable and respected General whom,
| have been following IN the wild and
hilarious chase for pie. (Laugh,er.) lie
confided to me today that he had drawn the
belt TO The last notch on his ro,undity, and
that there is vacuum which nothing can
fill nut but the Senatorial pie. tGreat
laughter.l have the honor of introducing
to you, my fellow citizens, the creates pie
hunter found since Columbus discovered the
United States of America, Maj. James w.
Flynn"
This announcement was greeted by the
widest cheering aud huuahing When
quiet was restored, Maj. Flynn said:
"My Fellow Citizens of Lyon District;-
too, appear before you today as the legal
son of Lyon. claim you as my aun,s, my
uncles, my sisters and my brothersl
(applause) This to me IS a family reunion.
| am ESPECIALLY glad to see the aun,s and the
sisters ou' to gree, me and cheer me on nv
final run for the town of Parsons, where the
fate of the Senatorial pie hangs in the
balance. tCheers.) As chairman Orr has
told you so eloquenily am foot.sore, weary
and hungry. There is nothing can satia,e
my appetite but the Senatorial pie; |, NAV
tax my corporation TO its limit to bear up
under this heavy load Of taxation, but in
this particular case l ask for no exemption
from taxation (Appause.) I believe all
corporations should palriotically assume
their burden Of taxation, and IN this case I
am patriot lCheers.) II is the paramount
| question before us today and for one am
willing TO meet II. Tax me with the Sena.
torial pie and tax revision will interest me
no more. (Cheen.) This will relieve the
farmers of the the terrible strain Of having
to fight my battle. They can return to the
plough and the buckwheat patch, and to
Natures sweet fesiorer-- balmy sleepl',
As Mai. Flynn concluded he was given
grand ovation, which inspired chairman Orr
to buck the tiger once more. The wheels
Of oratory we're running az a high rate Of
/ speed, and although Flank Menefee and
| Jake Geldebaugh blew down brakes on him.
but be disregafdcd The danger signal
81 care nothing for the loot Of a -. & o.
snapper today" said chairman Orr
/ They can't side-tfack me. am scheduled
/ To make the ran TO Parsons with no stops