davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progress., 1904-03-26
Unnece..ary Precautior

She's Joined an anti-kissing club
She fears the microbes, she declares;
Her nose Is what is known as snub;
She's Joined an anti-kissing club
But why did she need to? There's the rub
She's plain and thirty. so who cares?
She's Joined an anti-kissing club.
She fears the microbe, she declares.
Chicago Record Herald.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Ingenuity.

The man who writes the novel
Has ancient plots, you'll find.
The advertisement writer
Has the most inventive mind.
Washington Star.
The progress., 1904-03-26
A Quiet Tip.

The dreamers idly sit and plan
How honest labor they may shirk;
But the men who win success
Doff their coats and go to work.
Cincinnati Enquirer
The progress., 1904-03-26

The poet once put on a wreath
That decked him out tull fair:
But now he wears funny hat
And doesn't cut his hair.
Washington Star.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Criminal O6euse,

Yeast-He says he wrote that poem in
an unguarded moment.
Crimsonbeak-Yes;h he means ii was
written before he went to jail.-Yonkeu
Statesman.
The progress., 1904-03-26

A young man who lived in Dubuque.
BY a leap year maid was forsuque:
But he didn't sigh,
Or go off and digh-
He simply rebaited his huque.
-ChicaRo Daily News
The progress., 1904-03-26
Modern Chesterneld.

Mr.. Bacon-I had bad fall, to-day.
Mrs. Bacon-Well, did you ever have
a good fall?
Yes, dear, when | fell In love with
you,"-Yonkers Statesman.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Ffendish Ingenuity.

Brooks" said Rivers, "look at that
cane Upgardson carries"
What's peculiar about it," asked
Brooks.
'It's deadly weapon-that's ALL"
"Sword?"
Worse than that"
"Rifie?"
Worse than that" said Rivers. in
an agitated voice. tits a fiute."-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The progress., 1904-03-26

Inquirer-Does fish diet strengthen
the brain?
Philosopher-Perhaps not; but going
fishing seems to invigorate the imagi-
nation.-N. Y. Weekly.
The progress., 1904-03-26

The Reward ef N AneesfoR.
why are you losing sleep and exert
ing your energies to win fame and for
tune" asked the man who avoids en-
thusiasms.
II don't know, exactly" answered the
man with a passion for work. Il suppose
my reward will come in future genera
tions when some young man is enabled
by my previous .exertions to wear >
gnonocle and say by Jove' instead of
working. g."-Washingto Star.
The progress., 1904-03-26
rixi.s the Limis.

mo-" said the editor, "wo can't ~
your story. There's too much originality
about it"
"Too much originalitv!" echoed the con.
tributor. "Why, thought you wanted
80 we do" answered he of the blue
pencil, but we draw the line at spelling"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Hard to Say "NO."

A man who's polite finds 1t hard to refuse
lady's request, so you see.
Now that leap year has come. he'll be Quita
In fix
II one says: "Wil you please marry
me?"
-Philadelphia Bulletin
The progress., 1904-03-26
A Bad Omen,

Hostess-Mr. Litewayte is going to
sing a comic song.
Guest-I knew something would hap
pen. | overturned a salt-cellar at the
dinner table.-Chicago American.
The progress., 1904-03-26

lie began political serving four
Meson Bank Napoleon Ohio He elected
leader O his n his section of the State
this
approach
the follow
o Hartman the
greatly benefited
The progress., 1904-03-26
On the Wrong Trail.

at is no more than right that the
strong should aid the weak" said the
landiady.
"And yet" rejoined the sarcastic
boarder, II fail to see how dropping a
hunk of butter in the coffee would benefit
it any."-Chicago Daily News.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Iustend of n Brusb.

A piece OF flannel is very much bet
ter than a brush for removing dust from
R2k.
The progress., 1904-03-26

To Cure a Cold In One Day.
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money il it failsto cure. 2oc.
The progress., 1904-03-26

When the villain hissed to the heroine,
"Do your worst!" he had no idea she
would be remorseless enough to sing the
latest popular song.-N. o. Times Demo
crat.
Economy, like charity, should begin at
The progress., 1904-03-26
Out of the Running.

Out OF the NunnfnG.
one, isn't it?"
what makes you think so?"
Hes absolutely honest"
why, his chances ought to be good
He'd make a first-class circus freak. -
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The progress., 1904-03-26

It's poor statistcan who cannot make
figures lie.-Chcago Daily News.
The progress., 1904-03-26

Fond Mamma-Yes, my darling, those
little boys next door have no father or
mother, and no kind Aunt Jane.
Wouldn't you like to give them some
thing?
Archie with great enthusiasm)-Oh,
yes, mamma. Let's give them Aunt
Jane!-The King.
The progress., 1904-03-26

Mrs. A. Snedelser, Cartersville, Ga,
writes:
II saw that your catarrh remedy,
Peruna, was doing others SO much good,
The progress., 1904-03-26

Some second thoughts occur several
minutes latcr.-Chicago Daily News.
The progress., 1904-03-26

Pride fostere our foes and puts oul
friends to fight. Rams Horn.
The progress., 1904-03-26
10000 Plsnts for 1aa.

This is remarkable offer the John A..
Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis, makes.
They will send you their big plant and
seed catalog, together with enough seed to
grow
1000 fine, solid Cabbages,
1000 delicious Carrots,
1900 blanching, nutty Celery,
1000 rich, buttery Lettuce,
1000 splendid Onions,
1000 rare, luscious Radishcs,
1000 gloriously brilliant Flowers.
This great offer is made in order to in.
duce you to try their warranted seeds
for when you once plant them you will
grow no others, and
ALL FOR BUT 16c POSTAGE,
providing you will return this notice, and
viii % add I to I the above v .O nackape Of The h.
nous Berliner Caulifower. K. IL
It's poor statistician who cannot make
The progress., 1904-03-26

II is always exsy to rejoice in Affections
II sop.eone elrs has them.-Ram's Horn.
The progress., 1904-03-26

He'd Do His Best.
There was a young urchin of Wye,
Who when asked: Gould he eat mince
pie?"
Simply nodded his head
AS he artessly said
Bring out all wot you've got-an' III try"
Ally Sloper
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28
Lost All His Money on Overland
Train and Turned Burglar
on His Arrival,
CAUGHT IN FIRST ATTEMPT
And Goes to Jail for Ten Years
Because He Played Poker
and Lost All His
Money.

San Francisco. May 27.-Haying lost
all his money playing poker while on
the overland train coming from Mem
phis. Tenn, to San Francisco, Chas.
johnson turned burglar a few days
after his arrival. He was unfortunate
enough to be caught in his first at
tempt, and although he pleaded guilty
Judge Dunno Of the superior court
this morning sentenced him to ten
years in the San Quentin prison.
On the night of March Johnson
entered the jewelry store of Cohn
Bros. at 1884 Market street and was
caught by Policeman Cannon and DoIan
crouching behind a counter. He was
unarmed and had not placed any stolen
property In his pockets. He Ingenious
ly gained entrance by going into the
house at IL Mason stret, climbing
through window, letting himself down
a drain pipe to the roof Of the jewelry
store and then went down a stairway
to the side entrance Of the store. He
forced the door and slipped inside. His
unusual movements were noticed by
James Book and he called the police
mans attention to the case.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28
Patient at Cincinnati Hospital
Cuts His Throat and Dies
instantly.
SEWERS HIS JUGULAR VEIN
Victim Gives Way to Worry and
Ends His Miserable Exist
ence In MelO.Dramat-
ic Manner.

Cincinnati. May 27.--wlth his mind
deransed from worry, but acute with
the determination to end his existence,
John Mellinger. formerly a wealthy
farmer near Springfield, O., slashed his
throat with a razor In Bethesda hos
pital yesterday, and died in his chair
at the breakfast table. where an at
tendant had left him half an hour be-
fore.
Mellinger died within few minutes
after he had opened the right Jugular
vein.
officials of the institution called up
Coroner Weaver at Q o'clock and at the
same time notified the members OF
the dead mans family Of his death.
A brother arrived on an afternoon
train and gave his statement to the
coroner.
The body was prepared for shipment
home and win be taken there on q
train this morning.
While little Of the history of the busi-
ness reverses that unsettled Mr.. Mel
linger's mind are known in this city
IL Ia understood he was one Of the
wealthIes farmers near Springfield.
A month ago his relatives decided
his mind was In such condition that
special medical treatment would be
necessary. and he was sent to Bethesda
hospital. this city.
All such dangerous articles as raz-
ors are taken from patients when they
enter the institution, and the officials
there are unable to discover where
Mellinger obtained the weapon with
which he ended his life.
Mellinger had not suffered from de-
preston since Thursday last, and he
conversed with the attendant in a
llghthearted, jovial manner when his
breakfast was brought to him.
When the body was discovered por-
tlon OF the food that had been served
him was clutched in his hand. The
razor was found on the floor beside
him and the untasted portions of his
meal lay undlsturbed on the table.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28
CAUGHT RUNAWAY GIRL.
Brooklyn Copper Lays Hands on Err
ring Damsel.

Brooklyn. May 27.-Grace Smith.
16 years old. a girl of respectable APP
pearance, was arrested last night at
11:45 o'clock by Patrolman Griffin of
the Parkville station. on a charge of
vagrancy. The officer saw the girl at
Eleventh avenue and Eighteenth street
with two young men. He approached
the trio and they ran away. He caught
the girl. and she told him that she
lived In Hampstead. that she ran away
from home a week ago. and that there
was a reward of $50 for her. Grace
was discharged by Magistrate voor-
hees, in the Flatbush court, this morn
ing.
Later an oficer from Hampstead APP
peared with warrant and arrested
her. The officer said the girl left home
with another girl named Powell, who
lived a short distance from Hemp
stead.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28

left San Jose yesterday, and IT was
expected to ship from five to ten more
this week, but the storm Of yesterday
caused such loss that not more than
two cars will go forward now. Much
OF the loss Of the cherry crop win fall
upon the packers. as most of the grow
ers sell their crops In trees. In the
Willow district the loss to the cherry
crop is the largest, and in several or
chards the ground Is covered with red
and black fruit In one orchard II Is
estimated that five tons Of cherries
are on the ground. The Black Tar
tarians suffered the heaviest, as they
are just in the rIpening stage. Con-
siderable OF cherries left in trees are
so bruised as to render them unfit for
shipment.
Peaches and apricots were damaged
TO some extent. In one orchard near
Campbell eight fruit trees were blown
down and scores of trees are down in
other orchards along the roads.
Many growers believe the destruction
OF the prune crop may work to an ad-
vantage to the orchardlsts. 1t will give
chance to work off the hold-over
crop and raise the price Of this seas
on's dried fruit.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28
Notice to Contractors.

Notice is hereby given that the
county court Of Clatsop county, Oregon,
will on or before the I'd day of June
1904, receive sealed bids for the con-
struction of the foundation of the Clat-
sop county court house to be erected
on the block between Seventh and
Eighth, Commercial and Duane streets
In the city of Astoria, oregon, said con-
struction to include the furnishing Of
labor and material for the same, and
all to be in accordance with the plans
and specifications for the same now on
file in the office of the county clerk Of
said county, and as prepared by e. NJ
Lazarus( architect. Each bid must
be accompanied by certified check In
the sum of 10 per cent of the amount
of the bid. that the bidder win enter
into a contract If his bid is accepted.
and the right to reject any and all bids
is hereby reserved.
Dated at Astoria, Oregon, May %,
1904. BY order of the county court.
&c. CLINTON,
County Clerk.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28

Tacoma and Seattle Night
Express .,,........ii:I5 m sos n
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28

than success to all Of u.s." he said.
We work away. Four things fan.
The fifth thing succeeds. The hardese
workers have the most failures. buk
they have the most successes, too.
'one Of my early failures was a
melodrama that Travelled all the waw
from Chicago TO New York to sen to =
manager. This was in my youth.
when | had confidence in myself. The
manager returned my melodrama. He
said he didn't care eor 1t.
Il pointed out the merits in il which
ne had overlooked. l proved that he
would make great mistake if be
should not accept this work. But he
shook his head.
Cant you use it at aIl?" I asked
desperately
WELL" said he. I might grind ii an
and use it for q snowstorm. June
Success"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28
Cold Treatment.

George AIDE. at a recent banquet,
was asked to speak on success. II
suppose that failure is more familiar
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28
WIND CAUSES LOSS.
Santa Clara Valley Fruitsrowers See
Hopes 6lighted.

Santa Clara Valley Fruitsrowers See
Hopes 6lightsd.
San Jose, May 27-The high wind
that prevailed yesterday and today has
caused heavy loss to the fruitgrowers
of Santa Clara valley, The wind yes
terday blew from the south and reached
a velocity of 81 miles an hour. Cher
rles and prunes suffered the most, but
all kinds of fruit were damaged. In
some places fruit trees were blown
down. 1t is estimated that. more than
one-half Of the ripening cherry crep
is destroyed. and that from 100000
to sO.OOO,OoO pounds Of prunes have
been blown to the ground.
The first car Of cherries for the east
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28
NORTHERN PACIFIC
Time Card Of Trains

IIIH6 NHFU UI Trains
PORTLAND
Leaves Arrives
Puget Sound Limited.7:S5 . m e:lk D m
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28
IN TOLLS OF THE LAW.

Young Attorney Of Eugene Arrested,
Charged With Pension Fraud.
Eugene. Ore, May 27.-Lee NJ
Travis, a young attorney of this city,
was arrested this afternoon by the
United States deputy marshal for enter
ing a fraudulent pension claim, pay
able to himself. The accused was
placed under $500 bonds. The com
plant alleges that Travis made out a
military pension claim for disabilities
sustained in the Philippine service,
while a member of the Second Oregon
volunteer regiment.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28

Take Puget Sound Limited or kan
san city-st. Louis Special sor polats
on South Bend branch.
Double daily train service on oray's
HarboF branch.
-Four traius daily hetwssa Portland.
Tacoma and SoAttlA
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28

II your chest measure is AZ, "a
coat would be a little uncomfortable
and would cause some comment among
your friends. Is your advertising ex-
penditure cut toe small for your busi-
ness chest measurement
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28

II il is worth while to do business
at all il is worth while to do lot Of
it-and this means, always, a propor-
tionate amount Of newspaper space.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28

Take Puget Sound Limited or North
Coast Limited for Gray's HarbOF points
Take Pugea Sound Limited for olyns-
pia direct
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-05-28

Kansas Clty-St. Louis
Special ,..........Il:IO a m S:ts p m
North Coast Limited $50 . m 7:Oo > m
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-01-06
ARRANGING FOR COMPANIES.
Some Will Loaf on Full Salary, Whils
Others Go to Work.

Chicago. Jan. Action by the Chi
cago city council having made the OF
enIng OF the theaters inside OF two
weeks Improbable. the managers Of the
attractions now here have begun their
arrangements for the placing of their
companies elsewhere. Iienry w. Say
age OF the Yankee Consul organ
ization called the company together and
informed the members that week Of
rest would be taken here at full sal
0ry. The Studebaker will remain
closed until II can be ascertained what
the revised ordinance viii require.
The Ward and vokes Company at the
Great Northern will leave the city to-
day. The Bostonlans. TO have present
cd "Robln Hood" this week at Me-
vlckers are devoting their enforced
leisure to rehearsing.
Mrs. Ffske. who was to have ar-
peared at the Grand has not decided
what win he done during the fortnight
she was to have spent here. II is un-
derstood that Mfr. Brady will send
"rhe Pit" on the road next week.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-01-06
UNIONS WILL INVESTIGATE.
Charge They are Being Made seape
goat For the Disaster.

Chicago, Jan. 4.-Claiming that al
attempt has been made to make organ
tied labor the "scapegoat' for the Iro-
quois theater horror, the Chicago fed
GRAFTON OF labor has voted to investi-
gate the cause of the fire through a
special committee composed of repre-
sentatives of the union concerned in
the construction of the building. Del
egates demand that the committee
make an entirely Independent exami-
nation and report 10 the federation
rather than to the mayor.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-01-06
poinn the Rinht rhinn.

The trouble begins with a tickling IN
the throat and nagging littla cough,
Soreness in the chest follows and the
Iuticnt wonders IL he is going TO have
an all Winter cold Probably It he does
the wrong thing o, nothing. Certainly
not If he uses Ferry Davis palukller,
the staunch old remedy that cures a
cold liz twenty so,m hours There Is
but one PainKiler, Perry Pavis'
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-01-06
GRAND JURY
IS PROPOSED
-------------
Special One Talked Of as the Req.
uIar Jury Already Has
Crowded Docket.
DEPENDS ON CoRoNER's JURY
Present Dissemination 10 to Probe Mat.
tor to Bottom and Hold Those
Responsible to Vigorous
Accounting
DEPENDS ON C0RONER's JURY

Chicago. Jan. 6.--A special grand
Jury may be called TO investigate the
responsibility for the Iroquols Are hor-
ror The proposition has been dis
cussed nj 4 conference betwetn States
Attorney Dineen and Coroner Traeger.
and the decision was that Assistant
States Attorney Barnes should be dt-
tailed 10 canvass he situation today
when the coroner .akes up his plans
for the inquest. The coroner's in
quest viii inspect the ruins OF the
tlieater during the day after which the
pul'lic prosecutor will be given an out
line OF the evidence to be deduced at
the inquest. on the report Of the as
sistant states attorney win hang the
de.isIon as TO the summoning of a
special grand Jury.
The regular grand Jury win be con-
venej on January Is. Its docket al
ready is heavy. Should the coroner's
Jury hold any persons to the grand jury
as responsible for the fire. the latter
would be swamped with work. On the
other hand on the thoroughness Of the
inquest depends the magnitude Of any
suhscquent investigation. II the cor
oner's Inquiry is exhaustive the grand
jury may have nothing more to do .han
to examine .he evidence brought out at
the inquest.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-01-06
3---FAST TRAINS DAILY.-3
Between Ogden and Denver. Carrying
All Glasses of Modern Equipment.
Perfect Dinlng Car Service and Per-
sorally Conducted Tourist Ex-
curslons to All Points East.
STOP OVERS ALLOWED !.
On All Glasses OF Tickets,
Fer information or illustrated lItera.
ture call on or address
". G. MCBRIDE, General Agent
124 Third ST.. Portland. Or
A Frightened Horse.

Running like mad down the street
dumping the occupants, or a hundred
other accidents, are every day occur
RANGES. 1t behoves everybody to have
a reliable salve handy and there's none
as good as BuclSlin's ArniCa salve.
Burns, cuts sores, sczema, and piles,
disappear quickly under It's soothing
effect. 26c, at Chss. Rogers drug store
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-01-06

The horror of this awful disease
can never be told. The one who con-
tracts it suffers in body and mind,
and it the poison is not eradicated
transmits the taint to his children,
and Contagious Blood Poison thus
becomes responsible for many of the
ills of childhood-Skin Eruptions,
Catarrhal Troubles, Sore Eyes, Scalp
Disease, White Swelling, Scrofula
and others just as bad. S. S. S., the
great vegetable blood purifier and
tonic, has long been recognized as a
radical and safe cure for Contagious
Blood Poison. 1t counteracts the
deadly virus and cleanses and puri-
fies the diseased blood, and under its
tonic effects the general health i'm
proves and soon all signs Of blood
poison are gone. The strong miners
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-01-06
HAD ALL THE sY1rproMs.

Dear Sirs:
Aaa result Of serious l,lood as.n-sa.
ny pIood became poisoned and suf.
Lereu severely with Rheumatism AND
otner symptoms not necessary to men.
non; A friend OF mine told me that he
and upon his reoommendationi hsys,,,
its use. After using it for some time NV
o!ooo was thoroughly cleansed Of All
poison ana made pure and strong again
II wish also to speak Of it's tonic prop.
impurities, it built 1p NV TensrsI
nealtn, improved my appetite, gave me
increased strength, and felt better In
Lam 9 great believer IN s. 8. s., and
with pleasure commend it to All in naad
OF blood medicine.
Yours very truly,
roa ROBERT NJ. zWEITZIG.
oSS Walnut st., Lebanon, Pa.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-07-12
COTTON MARKETS

4 NEW YORK, y uly IL The cotton market
opened steady at n advance of 3 points on the
Old crop, while the late post onsf wero y point
lower To 4 points hi Cher. The 3ateadincss WAS
on covering AZ result OF j. the sha rp rally
and tho talk OF II too much rain
over the AlssIssippi Hey This latter factor
did not seem to be so influential In promoting
the advance. however, as the cables, which
after Opening $4il0 points lower on the old crop
and "a points lower on tllet new crop months
or inuch lower than expected and increasing
showed strength right up 10 the close OF mat
marker, when they We're :tls points higher
on the 4 old crop and unchanged 70 ONLY y.
points lower on the new. This showing nal ur-
ally ttracted attention Ga In TO the technical
posltI Ion Of the old inontns and shorts here
influenced by tho reports Z OF ~ better yMan-;
chester trade and tho fair spot Business In the
English market continued covering, dri wing
prices up 10 net gain OF about lQ1l5 points
around mid day. Following this there was,
3cnougf roonlE liquidation to case tho market
on to about The opening q CURES. but there
was covering on all soft spots and during tho;
higher on predictions for q less favorable
.wSekiy5 buerau report mt noon Tomorrow.
s. Tho close was Very steady at a not advance
OF s@s points. With sales estimated at only.
100. 0o5 bales. Liverpool. New o. eans a nd soms
OF the larger room trad ers We're nodera TO-
buyers on tho early bulge butt the early.
trading as a. rule was a lot. gs Us
d Receipts at the ports to- ay 800 y bales
against l.l36 last week and 39s last year. For
tho week ~ 600 bales against 10 b25 last week
and 6,stiS last year. To-day, . rccetpts at New,
trIea rs were sos bales against 81 last year.
and at Houston l. bales against II last yea.