Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-03-05

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class Is a messenger who has taken great
interest in the higher studies, having passed
through the lower grades of the public
schools of the District, and his fondness for
problems has come to be by
word with the. clerks in the department
where he is employed. His questions TO
these gentlemen are sometimes p0sers, ana
on more than one occa sion he has had them
cornered. At such time he takes the keen
est delight in swelling with the pride born
of his accomplishments and the consequent
chagrin of the palefaced brother. But
the worm. will turn. and 1t has turned on
that victim of the higher education. Yes
terday he presented to one Of the clerks IN
his division question that he undoubtedly
considered the best effort of his me. He
had written it on card and left II on the
desk of the clerk for his consideration ana
reply Now that clerk has streak of wit
In his nature and he has long cherished
desire to paralyze that particular ques-
TONER So he sat himself down TO reply 10
the question. and the answer that ne haHueu
to the colored brother has set that person
to thinking harder than he has ever done IN
his life before The question asked by the
messenger was:
What influence has the sun with our
system of standard time anu eieceiio
clocks?'
The reply over which he is sitting up
nights reads:
"As the sun in traversing the periphery OF
high noon it generates an electric inter-
course by the agency of static vapor
which envelopes the circumference OF tIls
planets circle, thereby producing state VI
hysteronproteron. or an lnVersloh VI 10
logical order by casting shadow In con-
junction with the north pole when, IN UNI
son with the magnetism of the nortn star
produces a sympathetic hypothenuse pc
tween our time system ana all eiec'iio
IT, Iii, he son,e time before the messenger
has another question ready for the clerks,
as he is very busy with the solution Oh the
answer to his last.
x x X
When Col. Bill Sterrett OF Texas was re-
centlv in town he was entertained by the
Sinai, Climb and ate snails for the first time
In bis life. He was half ashamed OF de-
rart;pe so far from his early training IN
matters of diet and also feared that the
farmers of Texas might retaliate on MIN
in some way for abandoning the usual
nroducts Of the field and encouraging the
consumption of snails imported from
France He made excuses, but he never
divu,ped the real influence that caused
him to eat snails until a letter was re-
ceived here a few days ago
..The fact is" Col. Sterrett wrote to MS
friend IT ate snails in devotion TO my
marty. 1 discovered that John Sharp VIII
iiams the leader of the minority In the
House of Representatives. ate snahs, ana
I followed him. I followed the party IN
when it went after the III TO raise soo.
and 1 guess I can follow the party ana my
leader In such little matter as the eatins
Of snaiIs. I can vouch for one thing-lo 10
1 interfered with my digestion, ana the
snails promoted it..
At the end of the letter COL Bill pIaceo
"P. g." which said:
"pass this along. It's what I am telling
the farmers down here in Texas. l had TO
make good some way They all say 1 oio
right in eating the snails II John sharp
williams has the snail habit.
x X
do YOU see that man sitting on the END
of the upper row." spectator in the Grim
inal Court asked a friend. pointing to the
Jury box He did something when he was
a boy that was probably never done by any
other person in the world"
TT must have been something very I'M
usual" the friend suggested What was
itg'
HE sold part of his own body ana spent
the money" was the response. 1T hap
pened In this way" he added When he
was boy he met with an accident ana loss
part of his feet. The bones were buried in
the yard in the rear of his home, and ne
afterward sold them to the rag man. II
was when the circus came to the city that
the sale was made. The victim of the acci-
table. and the day the circus reached the
city he found his stock was few ounces
short. 1t was then that he visited the yaro
and procured what was necessary to tip
the weight and get the price OF the circus
ticket"
In the parlor of a local boarding house
recently a young woman who could play
well was playing very we'll an arrange
ment of The Evening Star Song" from
Tannhauser A genuine specimen of the
boarding house man was in the room. He
Is one Of those creatures who always look
spick and span and who settle offhand
questions of state, religion and morals
that the great minds of the world have
Iabored over for centuries. Among MS
other accomplishments he claimed most
thorough knowledge OF music and gave
most learned criticisms of the compost
tions which he contemptuously referred
to as classical" On this occasion he
came close to the piano and listened at
tentively to the opening bars OF Eliza
beth's grand solo.
What is that Mrs - Is playingr he
asked the musicians husband.
"The Evening Star Song" was the re-
ply.
listened very ostentatiously. IL such a
phrase can be accepted, until the last
note had died away down the dim. cold
hallway Then he rolled cigarette,
and. pausing before he applied fire to 1t.
turned again to the husband and deliv-
cred his criticism.
"I don't like that as well as The Wash
ington Post March do your
y + u X
when Hoke Smith of Atlanta was SEQ
rotary of the Interior" said a Georgia con-
gresham the other day. "he loaded up the
department pretty well with Georgians.
They were thicker'n blackbirds in field
around the pension Office and patent office
and land office. You couldn't throw stick
down one of those corridors without crack
ing a Georgian.
Zone day Senator Voorhees, came through.
He had been trying to put In a few Indt-
anians, but he found every place filed by
a Georgian. He was coming down the cor
ridor and saw Hoke Smith coming H. The
senator came along. whistifng Marching
Through Georgia and keeping step to the
tune.
what are you doing that forr asked
Hoke Smith.
Just can't help It,. said Senator voor-
hees This is just like marching through
Georgia to come through your depart
ment.'
He got the appointments that day"