Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-07-23
SCARED OUT OF A WIFE

to write was told 10 me one
- bleak night. in country parlor.
1t was one of those nights In mid
winter, when the wind swept over the
land. making everything Jingle with
its frosty breath. that | was seated be
fore blazing fire. surrounded by
jolly half dozen boys and an old bach
eI0r, Peter Green, about forty and
eight years old.
1t was just the night without to
make those within enjoy a good story,
so each of us had to tell his favorite
story, save Mr.. Green and as he was
a Jolly story-teller we were somewhat
surprised to hear him say, II have no
story that would interest you" so we
had TO find other entertainments for
white, when one OF the boys told me
to ask him how it happened that he
never got married So | did
We'll gentlemen, he began, 'it does
not seem right for me tell how that
happened, but as it is about myself,
don't care much You see when | was
young we had TO walk as far as five
miles to church. and singing school.
which was our chief enjoyment. But
this don't have anything to do with my
not getting wife, but | just wanted
to show you that we had some trouble
them days in getting our sport.
John Smith and were like broth
crs, or like Mary and her lamb.
Where one went the other was sure to
go SO we went to see two sisters, and
as we were not the best boys imagin-
able, the old gentleman took umbrage
ana would not allow us to come near
the house, SO we would take the girls
to the end of the lane, and there we
would have to take the final kiss.
we soon got tired of this sort OF
fun, and / told John, on our way to
singing school one night. that | was
going TO take Sadie home, and that |
was going into the house, too He said
the old man would ruin us If | did.
Il told him l was going to risk it
anyhow, let come what would. He said
he would risk 1t If | would
so home we went with the girls,
When we got to the end OF the lane l
told the girls we proposed going all the
way.
They looked at each other in a way
didn't like too WELL but said they
(the old Folks would be In bed so they
didn't care il we did They were a
little more surprised when | told them
Of 81 IN, Ntshf Ia
but all was quiet when we got to the
house as we had no trouble in getting
into the kitchen. Then and there we
had our first court, aud | made up my
mind to ask Sadie to be my wife the
next time came.
1t was now past the turn of the
night, and rs we had four miles TO
walk, | told John we had better be go
ing So we stepped out on the porch.
but just then the sky was lighted up
by lighting. and one tremendous thun-
der peal rolled along the mountain
sides. Its echo had not died away in
the far Oft wales until the rain began
to pour from the garnered fullness OF
the clouds We waited for il to stop
until we were all sleepy. when the girls
said we could go To bed IN the little
room at the head of the stairs which
led out of the Kitchen as their father
did not get up early we could he al
home before the old folks were astir
So after bidding the girls good night
and wishing them sweet dreams. and
promising them to come back on tht
next Saturday night, we started +,
bed
we didn't have far to go as the bed
stood near the head of the stairs John
was soon in bed. but as was Away,
little slow aud full Of curiosity,
was looking around the little room.
AT hast thought would SIT dowr
ON chest. which was spread over
with a nice white cloth, while | drew
OF my boots so down ! sat when
stars of the.East' / went plump into q
big cuStard pie
II thought John would die laughing
for he said mashed that cuStard into
shapeless mass and the plate right in
quiet, so the old man would not hear
II was now ready to get into bed, SCI
! put the light out and picked up my
boots, thinking to put them in y more
COW enieut place, when down one OF
nay legs went through pipe hole,
which had been covered by paper. up
to my hip.
Now one part of me was up stairs
while the longest part OF me was in
the kitcheR. As my leg was very long.
ii reached siteif which WAS occupied
by dishes. psas. coffee pots, etc, and
turned it over with tremendous
crash
The girls had not retired, aud we
could hear them laugh tit 10 split their
sides. / felt awfully shamed. and WAS
scared until my heart was in my
throat. for / expected the old man ev
cry moment
II extricated my leg from the con.
founded hole just in time, for the old