The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-01-31

dinner synonym for all that IS satslyins to every artistic sense.
 Upon all this beauty the brown oriental eyes of Mirza Ali Asgar Khan. the grand vizier of Persia, rested in undisguised pleasure.
 In order to be abrest of the times. and Senator Morgan not being present, the account. The Gridiron alimentary canal treaty. drafted in accurate diplomatic form, and printed on parchment was a document which any potentate might be glad to negotiate.
 It was formally communicated to the club as . message in writing, and each member and guest was handed copy. canal. as stated in the preamble to the treaty, was to strengthen the bonds of friendship, facilitate social intercourse satisfy hunger, quench thirst, and allay the cravings for tobacco. The parties to the treaty were the Gridiron club, on one side, and the guests upon the other. and some of the articles were as follows
 v =
 Article 1. The Gridiron club comedies the right of the republican party to give the country four more years of Roose- velt-if 1t can
 Article 2. During the term of this con- vention Marcus A. Hanna, Arthur P. Cor man and chauncey M. Depew, in view of previous overactivity, shall each indi- fx-fd, main sielnt; they shall make no speeches or announcements, tell no stories, and open their mouths only for the usual and ordinary purposes of fulfilling the stipu- lations of this covenant.
 Article 8. It is stipulated that the ques- ton of what kind of a democrat is David B. Hill shall be left to future develop ments.
 Article 4. Secretary Cortelyou, trust buster in ordinary, agrees to defend the helpless Morgan interests from the ra- pacity of the trusts in general and the Rockefellers in particular
 Article 5. It is stipulated and agreed that David R. Francis shall have as spells of his prowess whatever appropria- tions he can get at the cannon's mouth. There were dozen or more of these articles. each hitting off the peculiarity of some guest of all of the prominent persons around the table Mirza Ali Asgar Khan, the grand vizier of Persia, was alone unmentioned.- And yet he, too, was present
 The club, for its part of the treaty, agreed to provide the articles of food and drink set forth in annex 1, attached to and made a part of this covenant, in order that the canal work may begin at once" These were the things that went into the alimentary canal:
 crhen follows the menu.)
 Any one might suppose that this was enough to ratify any treaty. but after half an hour had elapsed opposition began to be apparent Senator Hanna was re- ported, for instance, to be grumbling against the requirement. which imposed silence upon him and Representative Gros- venor was protesting against being com pelled to omit New York from the repub- lican column.
 The club met this unexpected dilema by distributing shares of canal stock among the guests. A little slip of paper upon which was printed "One Share Gridiron Alimentary Canal Stock was concealed within a pretty match safe. These souve- mfrs, bearing a gridiron in relief and an appropriate inscription, were presented to the guests and proved to be much appre- ciated mementos of the occasion.
 
 Even Mirza Ali Asgar Khan. the grand vizier of Persia, understanding little of what was happening about him. took match box and intelligently extracting match, lighted his Turkish cigarette.
 Everybody has seen ventriloquists who fill the stage with their dolls and make the grotesque say and sing all manner of funny things. Last night member of the club played the part of the ventrioquist and the figures, labelled Nor gan, Knox, Hanna, Hill, Taft, German and Senator Scott, were six of his col leagues, although they sat rigid and doll like, while the professor manipulated their arms and legs and asked them ques- tions which were answered in falsetto tones.
 
 declaration of a member of the club that ne had secured the services of a most remarkable ventriloquist, who had ap- peared before ''the crowned heads of Eu- rope, the turbaned heads of Asia and the bald heads of America"
 These manikens," said the speaker, when touched by the vital spark of the genius of the professor appear to be en- dowed with human intelligence They sit inanmate until the artist throws his vibrant>voice, when, as If reused by a wizards wand, they talk with scintillating wit and sparkling repartee'
 But who is this remarkable ventrilo- quist?" asked President Coolidge at the close of this eulogistic outburst
 T am, MT. President" was the modest confession.
 A hearty burst of laughter followed this unexpected reply, during which a curtain was drawn aside, revealing the six able journalists who were to participate in the ventriloquist show. Then the professor got down toA work.
 Arthur Pue Gorman." he inquired of the figure labeled with the senator s name, ''how do you enjoy being demo- cratic leader of the senate?'
 'Pd enjoy 1t great deal more," was the reply. If the democrats would only follow me-"
 Judge Taft" said the professor, ad- dressing the counterfeit presentnent of