The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-20
N THE cultivation Of friendships ex-
ercise the twin virtues of courtesy
and common sense. The sentiment

4 ercise the twin virtues of courtesy
and common sense. The sentiment
OF amity, when rooted in any other
soil, does not flourish vigorously
Short-lived intimacies.a in which many
persons indulge, and sudden and roman
tic affinities are designations to be avoided
The one and only way to win friends and
to keep them is to learn how to be both
uniformly agreeable and sweetly reason
able.
Don't exact of others more than you
are willing to give and to do yourself
Friendships, please remember, are in
yestments into which you are simply
obliged to put something of the best OF
yourself In order to earn and enjoy the
profitable and pleasing dividends Of de-
ughtful and sympathetic companionshp
There are men and women by the score
who expect friends to be given them just
In proportion as the rain falls the just
and the unjust. 1t is needless to say that
their expectations remain wofully unful-
filled Make yourself agreeable and mer
and women will come to you as readily
as bees gather about a honey pot, and
when you find yourself unsought and I'M
desired as an associate and an intimate
rest very well assured that the cause OF
your isolation is not far to seek. 1t lies
always right within yourself.
Some commendabIe Qualities
To be liked you must, first of all, be
liberal minded and charitable. Learn
quickly and learn thoroly that the finikin
and the hypercritical individual, who is
forever discoursing about his or her lofty
ideals, and who is ready to pick faulty
fall1ble human nature to pieces, Is never
trusted and never loved
Don't expect to find perfect friends
You are not perfect yourself by any man
ner of means. Strive to acquire an open
approachable manner 1t is more than
highly commendable; it is positively es-
sentfal to look friendly and to abstain
from sharp criticism.
There is a clever woman whom T know
and whom I like, altho with large reser-
vations, because she suffers from the fatal
habit of pulling her acquaintance to
pieces. She is always ghoulishly ready to
talk over and dissect the latest acqusi-
ton to her calling list. Hardly does the
front door close upon her visitor when she
picks the costume, the conversation, the
husband home and children of the absent
one neatly, and, I must confess, very
amusingly, to pieces. Not friend es-
capes the keen edge Of her caustic wit
and in consequence she has no real
friends.
Well enough I know that when I am
gone my own little weaknesses and
idiosyncrasies are brought into Judgment,
and, from the roses in my bonnet to my
choice Of family doctor, my opinions
ttild my personality are ScatnlnSly Cf1tl-
cized. OF course, 1 don't like it, and I
cannot say that I really like this mere ac-
quaintance' who shall always remain my
mere acquaintance.
Love your friends for their virtues and
be very ready to see and admit their good
parts. Concerning their faults preserve q
large and generous silence, and do not
fall a victim of the common and fatal
practise Of talking people over. Moreover,
please consider that these qualities are
not only consistent with loyalty, but are
prime requisites to the preservation of
your reputation for good breeding. Not
only is it unkind, but very distinctly vul-
gar to discuss the faults and failings of
your friends, and be sure that sooner or
later they will discover the existence of
this intidelity and naturally and justly feel
the most unforgiving resentment thereat
and contempt for your cheap diversion.
The Lifelong Friend.
Choose your intimates with care and a
good deal Of elaboration. if you like but
don't call Miss Jones your dearest OF
confidants this year and then forget her
for Miss Brown next year. It Is a com
mon habit, among young women, to