The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-27
ny ADMIRATION goes out vol
ia IN UNFAIRLY to the man or woman
who lives on basis Of sound
- v ~ friendship with those relatives

Az ~ friendship with those relatives
who have been acquired by mar
rtase- It is not always the easiest matter
In the world. tho one Of the Primest i'm
portance, to command the good will and
hearty liking Of your wife's people or your
husbands family, but when you can and
do command 1t you prove thereby the pos
session OF some very good qualities OF
heart and some very good methods OF
manner, and you also show that you know
more than a little concerning the arts
that make for popularity.
You prove this most potent1y when you
have married into family between which
and yourself no lifelong associations exist,
or between which and yourself no prompt
affinity Is excited Many young woman
especially finds herself In Just this awk
ward position. She weds a charming man,
whose nearest relatives are unsympa-
thetic. almost unfriendly. and quite unlike
her husband. Then the opportunity Is
brought conspicuously forward when she
can and she should show the quality OF
her breeding, and demonstrate just how
much she knows Of that most precious and
delightful and irresistible science: The
making ones self agreeable in the face Of
genuine difficulties.
Weapons That Win.
II the situation Is such a ono as have
outlined above-and with lamentable fire.
quency I find that it does prevail-the
wife In the case, with her own self-es-
TEEN and her marital happiness to main
tain can WELD one, and only one, set OF
weapons In order to win her way. he
must take care to be tactful, not retalia-
tory, and she must pursue the never-fa1l-
ing profitable policy Of the sweetest po-
likeness.
They don't like me, and I shall not put
myself out to make them change their
opinion" heard one bride angrily declare
on her return from her first visit to her
10, hi oh, feff i11d
fom her statement, had hardly been a
success.
She came over and sat down beside me-
and it was not long before I heard all
about 1t. 1t was very familiar story
but she looked greatly discounted and
not little puzzled, too, when I smiled
over it's conclusion.
But don't you think they were per-
fectly horrid?" she asked, aggrievedly.
well. they were not very kind or pleas
ant, surely" I admitted. But" I went
on, IT think you bungled your side OF the
contest, too. You made ever so many
plumbers that hurt their feelings quite as
sorely their behavior hurt yours, and
then, as you are gay and young, and in
society, and popular, you ought to have
used more tact: you should have been
more patient and q great deal more polite
and adaptable than you were You are
apparently not aware that 1t Ia moro
blessed to be agreeable In the face of q
little rudeness than to be revengeful"
l saw the sly retort that was on the tip
OF her tongue, and 1 forestalled her by
saying, II know, my dear, whereof
speak, because have had experience"
The Wisdom Of tho Serpent.
Now, when you are married your
troubles with your relations -in-law begin
as rule, and my marriage was no excep-
tion to the rule. My husband was a
charming fellow. but his family were very
stern very proud. very conventional Vr-
ginians. and came from noisy New York
Turnout my maiden days had frequently
been told that I most attractive
young person; knew that was popular,
and I never dreamed that my manner
could ever be other than delightfully."- in
grotiating until I went to visit in my
mother in laws home. There, I confess to
you. received a shock. Everybody was
civil, but 1t was as plain as could be made
that they did not like me at all.
"At first I was astonished, and then
hurt, and finally, a good deal irritated, for
I had descended on the family fully pre-
pared to be taken right into its bosom and
made much Of as daughter and sister,
But was not, and, woman wise, my first
inclination was to fly straight to my hus-
bands confidence, and seek consolation.
However, having Of the wisdom