The Black Hills union and western stock review. [volume] (Rapid City, S.D.) 1904-19??, 1904-03-04

on the topic of what makes for matrimo-
NAL happiness or unhappiness, and l have
an argument to advance upon the subject,
to this effect: That the arts of personal
agreeability, practiced along the simplest
lines, but with a faithful persistence,
count tremendously for content in the
conjugal relation.
The modern marriage is most frequent
ly a failure, I believe. not for the ttiou-
sand and one reasons assigned therefor.
Husbands as a rule are hard workers,
are sober, generous souls and not mig
gardly in their allowance of pin money.
The wives I have known were not friVo-
lous, foolish, meddlesome, nor eXtrava-
CANT. They do not serve underdone bis
cults for breakfast, run up staggering
bills at the milliners, nor neglect their
children
The cause of their discomfort in we'd
lock is chiefly due to the Vaccinations of
the famous and familiar family ghost
who walks the divorce courts under a va
riety of more sinister names than incom-
patibility of temper.
But whatever guises he may assume,
when he rattles his uncomfortable bones
in public, you may be pretty sure that as
plain old Incompatibility he made his
debut in that domestic closet where skele-
tons are hidden. HIS appearance there is
due first, last, and at all times to the
fact that men and their wives do not
realize that it is sweet civility, much
more than the far famed sentiment of
love, that makes each little world Of fam
lily life go smoothly round.
The Matrimonial Manner.
Now should a fearful wife or a huffy
husband come to me for confidence or
counsel, I would at once the
quest of the matrimonial manner. That
Is the prime essential to conjugal comfort
and there is nothing heroic or difficult
about It. 1t Is made up Of little, easy
sayings and doings and facial express
sionS.
It consists of the small words of kind
ness and acts of conciliatory considera-
ton engaged in by two persons WHO are
bent upon rendering themselves agree
able to each other.
1t is a habit acquired by the men and
women who do not keep their civilities
packed away In cotton wool and only
aired and exercised on what 1 might call
company occasions. The good matrimo-
NAL manner is not an affair Of empty
formalities or an exquisite politeness rem
dered to your husband or your wife in
public only.
Neither does it necessitate grand sacri-
fees nor open demonstrations of devotion.
Merely show your life's partner the
courteous consideration that you give for
your good names sake to every stranger
whom you meet, and do not expect that
the man you have married or the woman
who has taken your name will accept
meekly from you less careful and kindly
treatment than you accord the guest at
your table or your seats %neighbor in the
street car.
Do you fall into slovenly, selfish ways
In your home department., and if you are
a man remember, or try to learn now,
that seeming tri1es please and fatter and
hold a Woman's heart true when snowy
deeds and floWery words leave her unsat-
isfied. Thrifty folks, we are told, a k
care of their pennies and the pounds take
care Of themselves; that axiom can be
applies forcefully to the domestic situa-
ton, and if you show your wife the small
courtesies rest assured she will believe
you capable of every knightly deed.
When Love Flies Out at the Window.
1 wish to ~paraphrase an ancient saying
to this effect; that love flies out at the
window only when discourtesy comes in
at the door. I have had an exemplifca-
ton OF that truth very recently in the
case of two wives whose ways in we'd
lock seem to lave been strewn with
thorns.
The first lady in the case married a
man of her own age and choice, and what
with health and wealth, and youth and
devotion, their partnership promised to be
prosperous III every sense. But it was
" L WAC IL cAClllDldiS ldl II many
respects; she was a capital housekeeper,
and a devoted mother to their, child. Aft
er three years, however, their alliance
was legally dissolved on the unpleasant
plea Of desertion and ~non-support.
We, their friends, knew that all would
have gone well, from the bridal day to
the golden anniversary, had not the old
specter of incompatibility risen between
them and banisned their affection. What
evoked the hateful ghost was the hus-
bands unhappy disregard of the sweet
social family amenities.
He came home late and tired from his
office, and because the lady at the head
of his home was his wife he felt privi.
legged to take liberties with her that no
one of his friends would have borne. His
habit was to sit in grim silence at the
head of the table, or answer her queries
with grunts and monosyllables. If the
soup was not to his taste, or the lamp
smelled unpleasantly, his criticisms were
expressed in phrases he would not have
dared offer to the independent cook OF
waitress.
When dinner was over he preferred hi:
cigar and his paper to her conversation
He thought it too much trouble to fresh
en- his toilet is she was his only compan
ion at a home dinner, and while he would
have readily plunged into roaring flame:
to rescue his wife and child, he could no
OF would not remember to be decentlJ
civil and cheerful in the family circle
and to his great amazement he awoke t.
find that love had flown out at the win
dow.
A Shining Contrast.
The husband Of the other woman, hav
ing committed a deed that fastened upoI
him both opprobrium and poverty, foune
that his wife chung to him with tender
ness, shared his exile joyfully, and neve'
murmured at their radical change in ma
tertal and social circumstances.
She loved and stood by him to the end
and the cause therefor was not far tt
seek. He had never been too busy, to-
tired, to Ill, or too harassed to show he;
the courtesy that disarmed criticism. HI
had what l call a beautiful matrimonial
manner. He would come home from hi
office to receive her welcome and give he
greeting with the air. Of one who meet
a agreeable friend. From the foot of tn,
table he listened to her prattle witt
charming zest. While he spoke little, h
looked all his flnttering interest and a.
smiled at her sallies.
He had an unobtrusive way of helpint
her into her overshoes. hold der parcels
placing her chair, admiring her bits o
fancy work and complimeting her on
dainty dish or a good dinner, and N
tucked her into the carriage with a so
licitude that made her face beam witt
pleasure.