Mower County transcript., 1904-06-22
FARMER :: BEN'S COLUMN.

the same event. tell you fifty years is
a long while to look back over, away
back before the war. Little did we
think when we was in the south among
the rebel bullets and shells that many
OF us would ever get out alive, to say
nothin' of havin' golden weddins, but
the best amt any too good for the boys
in blue that fought their country's
battles and I wish that lots more might
see the same event III their own careers
Its long time to liv together under
the same roof, lots of times to wash
dishes and milk the old COW and get
meals and do chores. I amt reckoned
it up but there's .one comfort it don't
come all to once. It's little every day
and keep at it. That's true of all of
life's toilin'. 1t has it's regular march
for each day and don't lead off with a
trip of ten thousand miles expected in
one "a hours. I reckon that we all Of
us hav grit and gumption given for
every day if we only tackle it right.
g o 9
= I see by the papers that another
American rich girl that married duke
or somethin' such for title is sum for
a divorce allegin' that CROWN demands
for money on the part of the aforesaid
duke, gross Einfidelity, buyin' $4,000
necklaces for strumpet, and the wife
asked to pay the bill, and lot more of
such make life intolerable. It's about
the size of this title business right
along. If ever there was set of ninnies
it's 'the lot ofsfolks that think that
title is bigger than all other considera-
tions. The worst lot of idjits and
nondescripts the world ever saw is
made up of the dukes and counts and
such of the degenerate classes of the
old countries. All honor to the pretty
Chicago girl that told a titled chap the
other day that she preferred to stay
I poor American girl than to marry the
best title in Europe. It's good enough
for lots of the foolish women that are
schemin' all the time to marry off their
girls to such but it's hard on the girls.
There's somethin' lackin' in the upper
story when dukes are perferred to clean
American husbands. sse-s. s-.. .z.s.5- 8 s.
o @ .
1 see that one of the state dairy fell
lows is tellin' in the papers that if 1you
comb your COWS twice day they'll Civ
Is per cent more milk. Why,
bless you, the state of Minnesota don't
need to be payin' men big salaries to
propagate such idees as this. Every
farmer in Mower county knows this
without tellin'. You ought to see how
slick and clean and contented our old
COW is. There amt day but pet
her and scratch her with stick and
make love to her and she just pays
for it double in the pail every day.
There's nothin' like kind treatment for
a cow if you want big results. Of
course, you've first got ITO have the
right cow. But I sometimes think [
could get better returns from scrub
and rite treatment than the other fel-
low could get from a thorough bred
withl harsh: abuse. A COW is a good
deal like a woman. You can get
along nicely with 'em if you don't get
em excited and ugly and nervous and
bull headed but if you whack 'em in
stead of slickin' 'em you might as we'll
quit the ranch as unproftable I've
had some experience and think I am
competent to express an opinion.
It beats all what the new tangled no.
tions are leadin' to. Our gal Sarah
says that up to Austin now the big
folks grease and wax their floors SO
that they are as slippery as ice and
they hav to go oround on 'em with sort
Of sea legs on and if they amt awful
careful they slip down and get bumped.
She says that carpets on the floor amt
the proper thing now but just a patch
| VI lug Ill UuO VI CuC lOOlu it1lu
bare floor all round the edges. I tell
you Farmer Ben amt so poor that he
can't afford to cover the whole of his
best room floor all over with carpet
He don't hav to wax and grease to i'm
peril life and limb. We've got painted
and carpeted floors all over and we
don't pretend to keep skatin' rinks to
keep up with foolish fads. I expect
the next thing will be hangin' rugs on
the: walls, and plasterin' the floors.
This tryin' to keep in style is like
chasin' the willow O. wisp. You never
catch up with it. I'd rather be comfor-
table and safe and solid than to inter-
duce thousand of the freaks that fash
ionable apes are putin in continually.
/: s,zS.~., .. .e.. - ,t..s. :<.;. FARMER BEN.
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