The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-01-22
THE NoNPAREJL MAN

! 4
habitants Never Suffered From Loss
Of Appetite Nor Did They Have to
Take DR.. PIympton's Peptonized Tab
Iods to Work Up An Interest in Their
Food.
speaking about loss Of Appetite said
Mr.. Moses after he had run over the
pile of papers in the exchange room, deftly
extracted his old home organ and sat
down near the radiator so as to absorb
q little Of the alleged genial heat" it
was supposed to be throwing off, speak
ing about loss Of appetite they do in
this advertisement for DIR. Plympton's
Peptonized Polyglot for Dyspepsia, Loss
of Appetite, Asthma and Corns on the Bot
tom of the Feet recalls the time we boys
used to go out to Uncle Johns farm and
help him gather in, and incidentally eat
up, his crops. Not that we ever had any
loss Of appetite. In fact nobody thought
anything about appetite at all. We were
just simply hungry and ate like pigs, Uncle .
John leading off.
uncle dad p johns The bo mentoa Of Ts RECALLS aas
situated across the yard under
and back of an old shed. 1t was usually
we'll populated and we boys had no end
OF fun watching the inhabitants Of the
sty, scra itching their backs with a hoe or
throwing them ears of corn to see the
3.
'But the event Of the day in the hog
pen was when Uncle John came out Of {
the house bearing two immense tin pals
full Of skim milk and butternilk. Let any
| one else come out of the house. or let
Uncle John come out at any other times
than the feeding times and the piggies
| paid no attention. But let Uncle John
come out with the two pals of milk and
there arose from the pen such a terrific
uproar of pig squealing and grunting, that
you could hear nothing else on the whole
farm. We boys used to speculate whether
the hogs heard his STEP smeled the feed
or saw Uncle John with the pals. This
problem was never fully settled
"As Uncle John advanced across the
yard the uproar of squealing assembled,
steadily increasing as he approached the
pen until it became shrill roar of indie
scribable volume and intensity. 1t was
perfectly clear that every pigs thought
was centered on that milk and that his
mind was possessed by greed and by awful
fear that the other pigs would get more
than he did. The squealing and granting
was accentuated by rusheS of great bodies
of pig across the pen in attempts on the
part of each pig to get his two front feet
into the trough and elevate his muZZle
in the direction of Uncle Johns approach.
Apparently no attempt was made by any
pig to clear his thought OF this greed,
fear, malice and sensual pleasures Of the
table. This used to grieve us boys a bit.
:, 1t seemed to us that the pigs should re-
strain themselves a little. But they could
not see it in that light.
$ GAS Uncle John poured the milk into
$ a hopper that led to the trOughs, every
pig that could do so kept his two fore
feet in the trough and attempted to thrust
T his muzzle into the milk way up to his
I cars. The roar Of squeals died away
4 into a great FLASHING, tasting, champing.
l eating sound that filled the pig pen from
e to nd
r echoed thru the corridors and arches of
Z the sty. Did any pig ever get enough ?
: If he did, appearances were very decep-
d tive. Neither did any pig ever seem to
o suffer from loss of appetite or need tc
II take DR.. Plymptons Peptonized Dyspep-
: STA Tabloids before eating.
= "After every last drop Of the milk was
> gone and after the trough and floor haC
:, been eaten as clean as a. whistle, every
IL pig stood around with an expression or
> his muzzle that clearly said:
> My, but that was great" Or
y "'Say, I'd like to go against anothe
= Thoughtful Of that, just for luck!' Or
- =" Wonder when he'll bring out anothe
!. dose Of the same!'
- Mr.. Moses description Of the banque
II was so realistic that the exchange room
:" force became hungry and went out t
lunch half an hour earlier than usual.
=, Secretary of Agriculture Wilson's state
-, 1nent that Sir Thomas Upton has bee
- buying horses in Chicago and selling then
"a to Englishmen as Irish Jumpers ha
-, - caused some comment. If Sir Thoma
- David Harums the yacht business also, h
p may yet lift that mug
- The antispitting ordinance is to be en-
~ forced in New York, also. In a com
,,o, munication to the board of health com
20 plant is also made of the habit Of sneez
i0p iocr is
j. dangerous to the public than that o
II splitting We should also beware Of tn
!, man who breathes on u.s.
"a You may remember the Rev. John Jas
,e per of Richmond, Va, who asserted S
to him was unveiled in Richmond thi
week. It is now generally concede
among astronomers that Mr.. Jasper wa
!, right. It do.
- Rev. Edward Everett Hale's prayers i
is the senate said to be attracting at
~ tention. In what quarter?
The war cloud having been to som
extent dissipated, the hen is now putin
to on the market a cheaper brand of egg.
~ This snow storm recalls the Mnnesot
w nursery stock supplement of 7 h e o u +
10 n a |, issued the other day. A large mum
% Der of us who have 100 feet or so of gar
den have cut out the flower and bulb ads
n and about next April the people who ha
Nv faith enough to advertise bulbs and shrub
IN when charge of dynamite couldn't crac
A. the ground to get them in will find tina
ne wealth is beginning to roll in on ther
ly and that their stocks Of hollyhocks tulip
and ready made shrubs will melt ava
like rosy-cheeked apple in front of tn
ye small boy when school is out
IN There is old stone fence at the bot
" tom of our Flower forty and the fowe
bulbs seem to think it is the warmes
spot on the farm. They come crowdin
IL in, some of them travelling for acres
e. get next to that stone fence. The su
n strikes it in the spring and reflects tn
in heat and light into the soil. We Civ
he it plenty of water, and as soon as TIL
rd spring gives them half chance you ma
nv see the little green shoots just leapin
IL to the surface and hollering for sunligf
" and summer.
a. Only about eight weeks more and Their
a will be ''things doing in the soil. Spring
n Just think of it! Whoop! Hold us, some
rs body. "A. j. r.
nd - ------------
"a THE BEAR HUNT.
ee
You'd, in the Isle Of Nippon.
Land Of the dim gray dawn,
he Huntsmen are grasping their rifles.
n. - lIrro L. l4 0,1