The Savannah morning news., 1904-03-25
COMM ON TO VISIT BRISTOW.
Texas Sheriff and His Lady Post
MASTER, Have Wed.
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
Washington, March 22.-The sheriff
in Southwestern Texas who some time
ago called the attention of Fourth AS
sistant Postmaster General Bristow to
the famous hats off or no mali or
der promulgated from the postoffice in
his town, and whose correspondence
with the department resulted in an in
spector being sent to stop the obnox-
ious crusade for politeness, has mar
ried the lady postmaster" who was
the cause of all the trouble, and is
coming to Washington on his honey
moon.
The sheriff has also announced his
intention of spending "a week or there
abouts" with Mr.. Bristow. The sher-
if in his letter, received to-day, an
nounces his marriage and the attend
ant circumstances. He says:
Dear Friend Bristow: 1 don't want
you to get no false Impressions when
you cast your eyes over this. 1 amt
got kick nowhere in sight and after
you've read this some careful and con-.
scientious, the same being necessary
on account of my writing which is sure
scrawly and careless-if you don't stick
out your paw and say Put it there,
Bill then l don't know bosses or you
nor nobody.
But the news which I'm going to pass
out to you is some personal and ex-
citing and If you don't empty your gun
and call for six fingers of red eye I'll
sure be a disappointed man. l guess
you remember me writing you long
about last fall tellin' the troubles we
was having with our lady postmaster
about her trying to educate this town
up to her own ideas on politeness. Well,
I sort of changed my mind about what
1 said in that letter to you.
One day was just about to hit the
trail after a Greaser and l stops in
the postoff1ce some quick and. unnotic-
ing. Next minute 1 was looking down
a forty-five and my hands was up
while the lady postmaster was saying
right cold and meaning gentlemen is
expected to remove their hats when
transacting business in this office.
Their wasn't any citizens of the town
that saw me taking lessons, and /
amt naturally a talkatiye man, but
the ondignifiedness of the situation sort
of ranked in me and when l come
in with the Greaser over my saddle
the same having tried to get away and
me being right fretful and impatient
that morning. sat down and wrote
you that letter.
1 amt sorry I done it even if it was
the Mayors place to notify you. But
he's sure unliterary except with a
branding iron, and as 1t was, every
thing turned out all right Me and
the lady postmaster is married. You
amt a bit more surprised than I was
when I says to myself one day, bill,
this trail you're camping on sure leads
to matrimony." But l kept on camp
ing right there just as if there wasn't
no danger ahead and one day it
happened.
l sort of felt mean in my mind about
writing to you telling about her, and
when that fool inspector came down
here he told her it was me complained
1 didn't hear about it till after he left
town, or you sure would have had a
Job on your hands quick and imme-
date But you can't tell what wom-
an will do no more than a boss, and
it seems she got sort of interested in
me account of my kick.
Well, 1 amt going to tell you no more
about that matrimony trail, cause
reckon it amt nobody's business but
mine and hers. But one day she shut
up the postoffice-which same l hope
won't be held against her-and we gets
married. The boys gives us a most
scrumptieus send-off, and there wasn't
any work done for as much as two
days, but things have settled down now
and we're living peaceful and content
ed as old Ike Hill, who had three meals
day and slept regular till the very
day he was hung.
of course there amt no rules on po-
likeness put out by this lady post
master-which is my wife-for the citi-
zens of this town nowadays, the same
being considered superfulous and un-
necessary and some Illegal, but if any
Mexican son of Greaser don't get
rid of his sombrero bout the time he
gets in sight of this here postoffice, he'll
find lots of young and hasty trouble
coming his way sure, swift and easy.
But what l wanted to tell you was
that me and my wife have got sub
stitute-which is her cousin and a wom-
an-to look after the postoffice and
we are going to travel round for a
while. 1 never was more than SOC
miles from this here town an its sure
grown monotonous. 1 kind of gather
ed from what I read about you and
from the way you handle this here po-
iteness case, that your a man all right
and none stuck up and if you're latch
string is hanging out as I'm sure con-
fdent IL is, We'll just put up with you
when we hit Washington.
We are going to stay a week or
Whereabouts as me and my wife are
both got tastes sure. simple and I'M
pretentious we don't reckon to give
you no trouble I'd sure like you to
meet my lady. She's the best cook
in this part Of the country and she
can handle her armament quicker than
creased lightning and she don't shoot
to miss either. We amt a bit fresh
or troubleseeking, but I'm right con-
fdent we won't get our feelings hurt
and that nobody amt going to i'm
pose on us none to speak of. Here's
hopin VIM. sanger
Mr.. Bristow has visions of West
ern Amazon with a nickel plated gait
ling gun on each hip and cowboy
with a revolver In each hand and a
knife between his teeth invading the
sanctity Of his private office. Incl
dentaliy the fact that the sheriff didn't
mention when he would arrive In Wash
inaton adds considerably TO The
strength and color Of his antioipatlons
He Is half sorry that he has recovered
..aaur attack Uf grin.