The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-01-06
THE N0NPAREIL NAN

Story Of the Wool Underwear Lined With
Hair Wire currycombs That Ripped
Great Handsful Of Flesh from the Ten
der Person Of an Eighth Ward Suffer-
era Sc to So Piratieai Garment That
Carries cutIasses and Hoss Pistols In
Its Belt.
Have YOU ever bought this two-thirds
wool underwear Of the toggery sharps and
had your flesh rasped off Of you in great
handsful? If you have not, you have
never known what real suffering was. Last
week, noticing an engaging sale Of un-
derwear at half price, G. B. Moses tells
US that he hurried around and dug up
two or three dollars a garment for some
stuff that afterwards proved to be lined
with hair wire. currycomb material. He
didn't know what he was doing until the
underwear had boarded him, cutlass in
hand, and ripped great patches Of skin
from his tender person. E
Mr.. Moses hurried for genteel$seclusion
and disengaged his person from the under
wear, but the damage was done. Next
time he buys underwear that carries
knives and boss pistols in its belt, it will
be to give away to some poor man whose
hide is metal sheathed and can repel
boarders.s
You have doubtless read Of sthe pale
martyrs who renewed their s spiritual
strength by wearing hair cloth shirts to
mortify the. flesh.a We understand the
game nowadays, but We do not sympa-
thize with it. AZ
London has a fad. Of hand painted stock
1ngs. We had hole handpainted on the
heel of one of our socks last week SO de-
ceptfve In It's rare naturalness that grand
ma tried to darn it. 80
What gets us. is how that three cor
nered revolution can, go on In San Do
mingo without killing somebody. 4
A careful examination Of late Christmas
literature shows that the Christmas
ghost has gone out Of fashion. Since
Dickens, Christmas Caro1'',:i 1t has been
pretty difficult to break away from the
ghost or the plum pudding.
A Kansas paper came out for Judge
Alton. for president. After mature con-
sideration other Kansas papers came to
the conclusion that, their contemporary
was skating very close to Judge Alton B.
Parker's great boom.
An Indian Territory exchange let go
and closed down the other day with the
following simple and well chosen words:
With this ISSUE, the. Herald Banner
folds its lily-white hands upon its bosom
and turns its pink little toes to the daisies,
and Milburn, I. T., U. S. A., is without a
paper, having witnessed the death of two.
1t has cost the present firm $3.50 to adver-
tise the town, the beautiful blue and fer
tile soils, and we now throw up the sponge
and vacate to make room for another
sucker. Ia, ia, au revoir, good-by. We
are going to do something for you that
the devil will never do-that is, leave
YOU
1t is 4 good guess that the paper, didn't
come out till the editor was well out Of
town.
When the days begin to lengthen
Then the coal man gins to strengthen.
twenty-five below zero at Albany, n Y,
makes the theater ,orchestras oil take a
whirl out of that delightful bit OF tone
color music entitled, Memories of Lin
coln Nebras SKA
Korea expresses itself as willing to open
few ports. II the war really gets started
Korea is likely to open them with prayer
The Iowa statehouse was PAID for as
absolutely fireioroof and the stats officers
are going to overhaul the .hreproof con-
tracts that; were let to See where the
trouble Vas, There, IS Oily one way to
make @ a L building - really fireproof
and that is to have only fire
proof material put in it, and
then to watch the contractor while: he
does; it. Contractors and architects used
to have little joke among themselves
called THE Slow Burning Construction
Building" After a few of these struc-
lures had burned up like a set Of dry goods
boxes in hades, the idea fell into disuse
and in big city to-day it is generally
acknowledged that there are only two
varieties Of structures, viz, fireproof
buildings and finder boxes. The finder
boxes we know will burn; the fireproof
buildings We are not quite so sure about.
When the fire starts we prefer to be very.
very close to the front door and not to
have any rheumatism in our left hind
leg. r+' y s'~.s> "a. LeR