Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-01-27
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Man-Oh, yes; she refused me and
gave me no reasons whatever. Mild
Isn't she a saint?-Judge.
What is 1t that makes men great,
papa?" Persistent advertising, my
son."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
First Theatergoer-This play was
taken from the Italians. Second The.
atergoer-Lucky Italians!-Smart Set.
she-what is "fool-killer," any
way? He-I don't know. never met
one. Scientifically. Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
Poor thing, did she take her hus.
bands death much to hearth" why.
she's Frustrated with grief! She can't
see soul except the dressmaker."
DE man dat knows heap an don't
try to do nuffin'," said Uncle Eben.
IAN de man dat dom know muffin an
tries to do heap is bof of 'em nuts.
ances. Washington Star.
Americans are great kickers," re-
marked the visiting Englishman. yes.
indeed" replied the enthusiastic Amer
lean. THAT'S what makes us such en-
thusiastic football players"
Ethel heard the count had Tilted
Gladys. Jean-Oh, no; he's too much
of gentleman for that. know pos
ltively that he gave Gladys three days
in which to jilt him.-New Orleans
Democrat.
But they told me you had money"
"And they bunkoed me into thinking
you We're rich" well, what's to be
done about, it!" Lets fall in love
just for spite. CONNER
cial Tribune.
Noozey-I see they've revived tho
rumor that General Kitchener is to be
married. Henpeck-That wouldn't be
surprising. It's natural for him to
want to know something about every
form of warfare-Philadelph Press.
Prisoner, why did you strike this
man" IF you please, your honor, he
came to me suddenly and said, How
old is Ann?' !" well, what hurt did
that do2" why, you see, your hon.
or, Ann is my wife."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
When Mr.. Smith started for lodge
meeting the other night lie said to his
wife, Mary, believe I'll take the
key, for might have trouble in find
ing it when l get home" YES" said
his wife, "and you'd better take the
keyhole, too."-Lyre.
Hc-It certainly was pretty wed.
ding, and everything was SO nicely ar
ranged. She-That's just what think;
and the music was especially appro-
pirate. He-I don't remember. What
did they play? She-The Last Hope.
-Lippincott's Magazine.
isn't there some way to patch up
your differr tes with your husband?
asked the kind lawyer. mo way at all,
sir" answered the woman. when
ever he gets the least bit mad he re-
minds me that l had to advertise to
get him. indianapolis Sun.
II shall get divorce" cried the an
cry wife, her eyes flashing fire.
"Henceforth shall be freev "Well,
haven't any kick coming" calmly re-
Joined the husband. It'll be more
money in my pocket every morning,
tell you those."-Kennebec Journal.
~ Histress-Did any one call while
was sae? Jane-Yis mum. Wan
GENT finer callip, mum,
HI hat was his name ia ne =
Moike O'Rafferty, mum, an he was
as glad to foind yez out Is lie wuz to
find me in, Dim thinkin, mum.-Chi-
cago News.
"A woman can never keep anything
TO herself" said Danboy to his wife,
who had been repeating something he
didn't want known. "Oh, yes, she
cam" said Mrs. Danboy, sweetly. I'D
like TO know what it Is" he growled
It's her real and private opinion of
her husband"
Does the baby talk yet?" asked
friend of the family. NO" replied the
baby's Disguised little brother, 1.-THE
baby doesn't have to talk" Doesn't
have to talk?" NO; all the baby has
to do is to yell and it gets anything
there is in the house that's worth hay-
ing.''-New York Times.
Mrs. Bilkins (sweetly)-Do have an.
other piece Of cake, Cousin John.
Cousin John-Why, really, I've already
had two; but it's so good believe
will have another. Little Johnnie lex.
citedly)-Mn's Il winner! Mas win.
ner! She said she'd bet you'd make
pig of yourself!-Town and Country.
The cffcte East: Wabash-"How
long did it take you to do that pic
tureY" French artist( proudly)-"I am
engage upon Get for seek months"
Wabash-"Just rs I thought. You're
dead slow over there. Why. I've saw
fellers in Chicago turnin' them things
out while We wait."-Philadelph
Press.
Mrs. Bilkins (sweetly)-""Do have an
other piece of cake. Cousin John"
Cousin John-"Why, really, I've al
ready had two; but it's SO good be-
lieve will have another" Little John
ME (excltedly)-"Ma's winner! Mas
winner! She said she'd bet you'd
make pig of yourself"-Town and
Country.
The Kansas farmer was looking anx-
iously at the sky. 81 hope" he said,
that none o. them there cyclones
come along" Are you afraid Of
them?" asked the stranger 81 aiu't
never been before" answered the farm
er, "but l lifted the mortgage off tho
place yesterday, and It's so derned