Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-03-16
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who 1t was."-C!evelan Pain Dealer.
Julia-1s Clementine really SO intel
lectual? Aurelia-Oh, yes; she never
can tell you thing any other woman
has on.
81 see the sold tag Oh Daucer's pic
ture." "Yes, De Smith bought 1t"
"Why don't they hang the tag on De
Smith!"
HAS Mrs. Dash decided not to con-
tinue her suit for divorced" Yes. Her
engagement to Percy Specie is or
Brooklyn Life.
Tather-Don't ask so many ques-
.ons. Tommy? You are not supposed
to know everything that goes on
around here. Tomniy-No, but do. )
though.
Doctor Jlnks-I suppose you must
have lost some of your patients by be-
ing away for SO long n time? Doctor
Kent-Yes, confound it! Ten or a doz-
en- Of them got well.
Dusty Dennis-say. pard, what does
the paper mean by "unspeakablei
Tusk?" Gritty George--Why, dat's do
guy dat invented de Turkish bath
Chicago Daily News.
zone o. de sad things bout dis life"
said Uncle Ebcn, "is dat it's SO much
easier to depend on de enmity of yoh
enemies dan OH de friendship Of yoh
friends. "-Washington Star.
A fearful Occasion: II wonder II
there's been q funeral In that house: ?"
"Why?" 1.-TWO women just came out
crying" "Oh. it must be wedding"
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
"You know, Jessie, the good book
says Love your neighbor,'" spoke the
mother to her little girl. Yes, mann.
ma; but that was written before the
days of flats" Statesman.
you say that you have your own
way about the house," Invariably"
answered Mr. Meekton. "How do you
manage ity' by always agreeing
with Henrietta. "-Washllgton Star.
What am ever going to Go with
such a bad. bad toy!" sighed the fond
mother. 20, you leave me alone" re-
piled the young hopeful. I'm not half
as bad as l can e."--Brooklyn Life.
Aiother-Why, children, WHAT'S all
this noise about? Little Nreddy-We've
had grandpa and Uncle Henry locked
in the cupboard for an hour, an when
they get little angrier I'm, going to
play going into the lions cage.
Mother-My boy! What became Of
that last piece of pie left In the cup
board and told you not to disturb? Os-
carl Gated 1t. Mother-And what
would you call an act like that? Oscar
I-Dlsturbin' tn piece, s'pose."
Brlsgs-Do you have tile courage to
take a cold bath on these winter morn.
ings? Griggs indeed. do. But I
missed 1t this morning. Briggs
What was the trouble? Griggs-There
was 10 hot watc'.-Towa Topics.
! "WoulIn't you enjoy your dinner
more If you had earned it?" NO" an
4 swered Meandeiins Mike, Il wouldn't
t'ink of intru.ia' any mercenary con-
! alterations !!:to dis ssas9n=ssfs hospital
ity an good chcc r."-Washinston sts
The new sen..:y, a nat!vesof the En-
erald Isle, was on post duty for the
first time III night, vixen the officer Of
the day approached who comes
there?" lie called. "O!i;ccr of the day."
was the reply. "Then what are yea
dom out at night?" asked the sentry.
Literary Rcputa;ion: ..L.zette," said
Mrs. Goodrich to her maid, II wish you
would run up to my room, get the novel
OH my writing desk. cut the pages, take
It back to Miss Bookhides, present my
compliments and thanks. and tell her
the story aroused my most profound
t."-Tit-Elts e.
The Secret Of Failure: Lawyer
What was the thing that led to your
financial downfall? You seemed to be
doing II gcs business. Bankrupt
was; but one day started out to see
IL could borrow some money found
1t SO easy that kept on borrowing
Somervllle Journal.
Grimes Ito Spencer, who has told one
of his best storics)-Ha, la! Do you
; know, Spencer, always did like that
story. Spencer-I thought you must
have heard 1t several times. You
wouldn't be likely to tumble to the
joke the first time you heard it, you
kncw.-Boston Transcript.
Like father: Ranglc-What were
you Furnishing your boy for this morn
ing2 Angle-For lying. He said he
saw fish in the millpond as big al
the one I've been telling about thai
got away from me there last week
Rangle-But maybe he did see 1t. An
gle-Nonsense! There isn't fish tina,
t big in the pond. Philadelphia Press.
{ The Horrible Example: How IS 4
; business has so much improved in tn,
3 side show?" asked the man from tn,
8 main tent 4 started the living skele
J. tom to smoking cigarettes" replied til,
/ hustling manager. II don't see WHY
that should draw people" Eyes; every
q mother takes her 10y In and points ou
the horrible example. -Phi!adelphI;
q Record.
I Quite sufficlent-Madam," began th,
: agent, rs Mrs. Short opened the door
i "you have pianoY' Yes" she III,
swered. WELL" lie continued, IL an
introducing n new automatic attach
ment for pianos, and If you
). Don't want IT, interrupted Mrs. S
; "o.r piano has sheri!f's attachment
and guess that will hold it
e while. "-Chicago News.
i. School Essay o, Ducks.
A schoolboy in Jewel City. Kan.
was assigned to prepare an essay OF
h the subject of Ducks" and this Al
= what lie wrote, "Thc duck is h low
heayy-set girl composed mostly Of
meat and featlers. He is n might.