Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-08-20
HE WANTED TO SELL NE SOME GOLD
BRICKS"

HE WANTED TO SELL Me SOME GOLD
BRICKS"
price 5000. shake my head He falls
to $3.50. / shake my head some more
He comes down to 500. Hans, if it
vhas you you buy dot brick at 500 so
queek ash neffer vhas."
'But don't you?"
"Not n1ooch. l vhas nc Spring hen
say Will gif $50 und no more und
dot Teller finally hands me oafer der
brick"
'Und how mOoch you make, eh?'
"Nottings. 1t vhas all swindle I
take dot brick to a jeweler, und he
says it vhas all lead und brass und
vhas valued at 10 cents"
'Den you lose $780,
'NO, don't. | make 5000, und when
1 tells policeman aboudt it he pats
me on der back und says / vhas sharp
ash razors. Hans, don't neffer pay a
man his first price for a gold brick.
Take advantage of his being hard oop
und beat him down."
Mr.. Voglestein puts his feet on der
stove und sings to himself for awhile,
und den he says:
"Hans, do you know aboudt some
stocks?"
II guess not"
"Of course you don't. You vhas only
cobbler If you knew aboudt some
stocks you can ride in your own car
Y.;o In, III,
you pellet I make last week from
stOcks?"
1T vhas SIS, mebbe."
"Humph! Do look like some five dol
lar man? make $50 shust ash easy
ash grease, und l pellet nobody vhas
smarter dan me. see in der paper
dot some Texas oil stock vhas worth
par, but can be bought for % cents on
der dollar if taken right AWAY.
vhas at der Office at o'clock in der
morning to buy dot stock l pay $25,
and it vhas worth 500. Do you see?
Dots What is called der ground floor"
1t makes me feel badt dot Mr.
Voglestein makes so mooch money in
a leetle while, und l keep still und
don't say nottings. He smiles und
chuckles und putty soon he says:
"Oh, vhas nopody's fool. I go by
an auction room der odder day, and dot
auctioneer hslds oop watch und says
who Will gif me $40 for dis watch? If
it vhas you you gif him dot $75 right
off queek, but dot vhas not Mr.. Vogle-
stein. l look at him und don't say
nottings When he says $6O-$50-$4O
l keep quiet. When he says he shall
hat to sell dot watch or be turned
outdoors bid 500. He likes me
to make it $685. but won't do it, und
nit tears in his eyes he puts der watch
in my hands. Dot vhas $50 saved. /
tell you Hans, If you vhas some sharp
ness you get along in dis world all
right"
"Vhas dot watch all right?' asks.
II can't say. put him in my pocket,
but While vhas going home some pick
pocket takes it out If he pellets it
vhas my 5000 watch dot / bring oafer
from Shermany, den he loses $175, und
| make shust dot mooch. Did you hear
aboudt my buying horse last week."
mo. How he vhas?"
"Vhell, / vhas in saloon, und man
comes in und says he likes to go to To
ledo, O., to see his mother die, but he
don't hat enough money He must sell
his horse for $50. How mooch you pc
lief offer him, Hans?'
Il can't say
"Vhell, / speak NIT him a little While
und den offer him $15. He cries aboudt
his mother und says it vhas too cheap.
but he finally takes it und goes AWAY.
Dot vhas clean profit of $50 for me-"
"But don't see you drive dot horse
oudt," says.
at vhas good reasons why. When 1
goes down to der stables to get him he
vhas dead"
"Und so you lose $15?"
"Not at all, Hans, you vhas a cobbler
und not a financier. If dot horse vhas
alive he cost me 500 a year to feed
him, und so save $50. / speak to my
wife aboudt it, und she holds oop her
hands und says shall hat an Office on
Wall street. BY golly, Hans, but it
vhas awful nice to be some spectators
und make money"
not y,oJ>oc ,,oa fool hodt coY,oa y,c-o