West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-07-07
President Metheny Has Parted
Company With Political Bees.

Between the wall of the pic hun
tiers and the "stand pats" and the
"full dinner pail" my bed is not
one of roses. To be accused of |
every crime in the calendar by |
WEARY Willie" and the rest OF |
the hobos who infest our fair land |
of prosperity is enough to drive |
me into the Prohibition party.
This is the only political party with
whom i have not affiliated with i'm
my eventful career as "a politica !
promoter. The inducements to
join the Prohibitionists have
never appealed to my ideal in
politics, and the refreshments which
they serve during an animated
campaign is not sufficient to arouse
the latent talent in the hurrah boy.
Then, again, the grafters, who
abound so plentiful during cam
psigns, find barren field to work
the she'll game and the Farris
wheel during the political excite
ment. For the society boys, no
special inducements are offered in
the way of Irritation and coquetry.
The females who control the DIES.
tines of the prohibition party are
staid, and have crossed the spinster
line, which enchant the white beard
ed patriarcbs, but brighten the
hurrah and society boys. This
would woefully curtail my influence
with the boys during a political
campaign. AS am in politics for
the excitement and the emoluments
that come therefrom, 1 have decid.
ed to remain with the old parties
who know the value of a dollar. /
have no desire to preach what
cannot practice, as it would set a
bad example for the rising genera
ton of prohibitionists. In my
ramblings throughout the county of
Preston / am surprised to find so
many prohibitionists whose names
and votes do not appear on the
election sheet when it is all over
but the shouting. l have been in
vestigatIng the cause and find that
they are very enthusiastic prohibI-
tons until election day, when their
ardor dampens and they rally to
the support of the old parties with
whom they have associated in the
halcyon days of youth. They be-
come alarmed that their old party
comrades will be routed from the
pie wagon and thrown upon the
charity of cold and unsympathic
public and they resolve TO place the
pie in their possession once more.
This will enable them to return TO
their preaching once more where
the field is large and the pie is
small.
But such is practical politics,
which have been reduced to a sci
ence. There is no prophet who
can fortell what the present cam
paign will bring forth. / made SO
many gueses in the late primary
election that avoid those whom
guessed would carry off the nomi-
nation. On my guess many we're
induced to open their wallet wider
and let the coin drop out. Becom-
ing enthused over the jingling of the
coin which adhered firmly to the
palm of my hand, would indulge
in the most wild and extravaRant
guesses for those who had faith in
my guessing proclivities and an
appetite for pie. At this late day /
cannot reconcile myself as to why |
missed so many guesses. The recol-
lection of how missed will never
fade from the memory Of the pie
hunters. feel, however, that we
have both been amply rewarded
/ got the coin and they got the ex
perieDce. AS for myself am not
discouraged, and ! am still open
for guessing engagements.
It was my painful duty to run
across my esteemed friend, Presi.
dent J. w. Metheney a few DAYS
since. I never meet a defeated
pie-hunter but what I am stricken
with, an aching heart have been
defeated so often myself that have
an enlargement Of the aching heart.
] know how the other victim feels
without interrogating him. II is a
kind Of fellow feeling. My sympa-
thy always runs riot when clasp the
victims hand. II reminds me of
how used to receive the sympathy
instead Of the votes It was very
consoling.
81 have no desire to recall the
many broken promises which you
have found in your pathway" / re
marked to President Metheney, as I
offered him my hand. 'In your