Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1904-03-31
KANSAS NOTES

pense Of the city"
Had Joe Bristow ventured to write
Gene Wares "lumbago" poem, Con-
gress would undoubtedly use it as the
basis for impeachment proceedings.
The only way to account for Chief
McCollom's denial of the fact that the
saloons in Topeka are wide open is
that he mistakes them for ice cream
parlors.
The attention of the quarantine off,
cials is called to Argonia, where an
epidemic of smallpox, chickenpox.
itch, humps, measles and sore eyes"
is reported.
The town of Ports, in Osborne
county, which is described as hardly
big enough to support side track"
has two banks, the Farmers National
and the First State.
A poor excuse Is better than none.
A Presbyterian church in Armourdale
refused, a few days ago, to permit
Carrie Nation to deliver a lecture, be-
cause she is an actress!
The latest guessing contest
scheme Is that of the Vermilion En-
terprise. The contestants are guess
ing on the number of votes Tom Kelly
will run behind the ticket in Noble
township, Marshall county.
The Baldwin Lodges got out daily
edition while the Methodlsts confer
ence was in progress last week. A
Methodist conference is altogether the
most exhilarating thing that ever hap
pens in Baldwin.
w. S. Nelson is writing q series OF
articles on the Neosho Indians for the
Columbus Advocate. There used TO be
1000 Of them in Cherokee and Labette
counties, and they were prone to shoot
the Paleface instead of oil wells.
Colorado has never taken the Ar
kansas river suit very seriously, but
now that Attorney General Knox has
lined up on the Kansas side, there
seems to be nothing left for Colorado
to do except surrender and throw It.
self on the mercy of the court.
Several days ago William Allen
White entered a sweeping drought
prediction edltorially in the Emporla
Gazette office-and rain has fallen
two of the three days since.
That Marion county farmer who
wants to have the Japanese fleet to
come and "shell" his corn, should
bear in mind that the Cottonwood is
not navigable much beyond the Lyon
county land.
A Clay county blographer announc'
es that Mr.. Nordstrom, candidate fol-
register Of deeds, lis of Norwegian
descent" for the benefit Of those who
imagined that he might be a Scandi
navlan.
"An editor is a millionaire without
money a congressman without a Job
a king without throne" says the
Nedosha Register. "He constructs
without hammer or saw, builds
railroads without rails or spikes, and
farms without plow. He runs O
butcher shop In the journalistic world
and deals out brains for cash or for
credit. The editor is teacher, a law
yer, a preacher; he sends truth out Ia
save souls and gets lost himself"
An Atchison man and his wife, notlc'
Several good Jobs are positively
going begging in lola. Anyone who
wants a nice office that does not re-
qulre more than three or four nights
each week and pays 81 year, are
requested to run for councilman.
ing that married folks at the theateI
have little to say to each other, talk
ed It over recently and brought their
pride into play, the Globe says. "You
know all that mas happened to me
since the day was born" said the
wife, land there ig nothing for me
to say to you, but still we can't afford
to sit and look as glum as two oys
tiers. Every one will be saying we
are not congenlal; that we are soured
and there will be talk Of divorce
Here Is my scheme: At The Crisis
tonight l will look at you, and laugh
and begin to repeat in the most con
fidential manner Mary Had Little
Lamb We will laugh heartily to
gether when l get through, and you
will assume conflding air, and wills
per Little Johnny Green back to me
We will keep that up during every in
Permission, and every one will envy
us, and say, How happy that couple
isl"
"A short time ago." the Cuba Day
light relates, some men we're engaged
putting telegraph poles up on some
land belonging to an old farmer, whC
disliked seeing his grass trampet
down. He ordered them off his land
The men produced a paper which said
they had leave to put the poles W
where they pleased. The old farmer
went back and turned large bull In
TO the field. The savage beast made
after the men, and the old farmer
seeing them running from the field
shouted at the top Of his voice: Show