Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-08
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
CHIPS AND RAGS
By LUE r. VERNON.
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Tom -" How old is your sister
Hazel?"
Joe" Her count, do you mean, OF
the family Bible record?"
The rumbling noise heard through.
out the land is caused by the Metho
dist ministers heading up the sermon
barrels preparatory to turning them
over to begin on the other end.
Never accuse your milkman of put
ting water in the milk. He would
not be guilty of such thing, and &c
he is always prepared to deny the
charge without telling an untruth
You see, he may put the milk in the
water.
At town named Lands, in Michi'
gan, a preacher lit upon novel plan
to wake up attendants who are in the
habit of taking q snooze during the
sermon. He discharged pistol.
A Winchester might be fired with
good effect in some of the churches in
Tacoma.
1t is said a p" Hall Of Fame" for So
ciety women may be established at the
st. Louis Exposition. 1t is not stated
what requisites will be taken into con-
sideration for applicants, whether
money, beauty, pedigree, or divorce
records. That hall will probably be
turned into hell before the women
are through fighting.
The outfit of an English Judge
costsabout $4,000. He has to have at
least five gowns of silk, besides q
girdle, a scarf, a casting hood, a wig, a
black cap, a three-cornered cap, a
beaver hat, q cooked hat, silk hat,
lace bands and two full court suits
with swords. This inventory does not
take stock OF set OF brains.
There is to be morning one-cent
newspaper printed in New York, in
which the interest and doings OF men
will have little part-perhaps none at
all. The Newspaper is to be Of, for,
and by women, to quote the language
of Hayden Talbot, the business mana
ger. Then why is he business mana
ger? Is he o woman of the male sex,
as some women are men OF the female
sex?
Sir Thomas Upton has bought sev-
eral thousand acres of orchard land in
Georgia which will be transferred into
an immense truck farm to raise vege-
tables to be shipped to England.
Wonder why Thomas does not pur-
chase sawmill plant and transform the
came into boat building concern, and
see if he can't turn out yacht made
by the Yankee workmen that will win
the long desired cup?
Rev. Edith Booker is delivering an
address through Texas on What Is a
Mani" A man, dear Edith, is ten
der shrinking creature, whose wide
fawn eyes look out into the great
whirl about him with startled inquiry
an innocent, trusting dove, nesting
upon the neck OF a hard cold world; a
sweet field flower, lifting up its face
for the sunshine OF your womanly af'
fection. That is what q man is,
Edith. You yourself are the sturdy
oak. Don't forget that.
Some time ago, one E. X. Clarke, a
clubman of San Francisco, who married
tbe Pea Blossom Girl" OF the Dur.
rant case OH Saturday, ordered half.
dozen tailor gowns for her and lot OF
jewels and on the following Monday
abandoned her, Cancelled the orders
and now seeks divorce. He says he
was drunk when he made the leap
Alas, o, alcohol! how many sins are
committed in thy name? In our
judgment we should say that about
ten years with "Pea Blossom" would
be, about right for that inebriate.
A certain saloon-keeper, who is
known by old settlers to be as honest
and square a man as ever walked on
this earth has in pretty frame be-
hind his bar, this motto: In vino
veritas." In the English language
it means, "There is truth in wine
truth is told under the influence
OF wine." This saloon man is doing
good to the world; that is, he wants
the truth to be told and that is just
what learned men teach the children
to speak, the truth, and if wine does
cause q person to speak truly, then
the old adage Look not upon the
wine when it is red in the cup" must
20 way back and squat down.
John Showles, the Milwaukee, Wis.
saloonkeeper, who recently died in
that city, was q Christian in his busi'
ness. Six o'clock in the evening was
his closing hour. He never sold a
mixed drink, and no more than three
drinks to a man whom he knew could
not afford to buy without hurting hi:
family. He dressed as in the days oI
Clay and Webster, was we'll educated
and charitable man. Many saloon