Middletown transcript., 1904-12-03
CELIA DOW'S PROXY
By NAY BRETT SMITH

Hl- QUESTION, and gem in the
rough. She left undone 60
~ many OF the things
she should have done,
that it gave her ample time to do most Of
the things she ought not to have done.
She boiled the fannels, fed the eats OF
the best china, and polished the silvervare
with sapolio.
When the Dow meffH did not meet her
approval, she laid in wait in the outside
door Of the laundry, and countermanded
Celia Dow's orders to the groceryman,
substituting others more in harmony with
her own epicurean taste.
"Why don't you bounce her r Bob
Dow inquired one morning when Norai',s
shortcomings were more in evidence than
usual.
"Oh, Pm making study Of her.
may want to write story about her some
time"
"You'd better make study OF how to
be mistress of your own house. You
haven't half the spunk gave You credit
for"
Nothing could stir Celia Dow quicker
than the thought that she was not living
up to Bob's estimate Of her ability. She
decided Immediately that this day should
see her occupy her rightful position in the
household realm.
She walked down to the car with her
husband. As she came back up tie front
steps, she heard crash in the kitchen,
and in the strength Of her resolve, she
boldly marched out to meet the enemy.
Perched on the step-ladder sat Miss
McCarty gazing stoically down on the ruin
of crockery on the floor.
"Why, Nora McCarty what have you
done? That was my great-grandfathers
punch bowl, and put it there on the top
shelf to keep it out Of your lawless hands.
wouldn't have had it bro"
"It's only lasht night ye tould me not
ter put coold praties away in the covered
chany dish, but to take some ould dish,
an bedad this's the ouldest lookin' thing
in the coobord, an now We ant satisfied I!
Houly saints, deliver me from woman
as dom kaow 'er own moind An it's not
Nora McCarty that'll be takin' sass frum
onny oundersized hizzy, fur the likes ov
an ould bit dish so ould it ought ter be
ashamed liyin' long wild dacent folks.
A poonch bowl is it I'll poonch you !"
Before Celia Dow had time to divine
her intention, the living whirlwind had
caught her and waltzed her around the
kitchen in style that would have re-
ceived the widest encore from Bowery
audience.
Sucked in by the giddy whirl Of skirts,
tin pals and dippers added their clangor
to the flow OF Hiberian expletises that
marked the measure OF that impronptu
dance.
With arched backs and flaming eyes,
the cats flew out through the open door,
while the gritty little pug seized the fee
ing skirts Of Nora McCarty in his teeth,
and held on and pulled back for dear life,
his nails scratching along the floor when
at long intervals his feet touched bottom
as the trio swept around the long kitchen,
till well-directed backward kick shot
him out across the back porch, when lie
lost no time in joining his feline friends.
Then Nora NcCarty, out of words and
out Of breath, tossed her hapless victim
out into the pansy bed.
While convalescing, Celia Dow decided
upon plan for avoiding all unpleasant
conversations with her next domestic.
Her plan was to hang writing-pad in
the kitchen, and each evening write the
programme for to-morrow's work, or
make necessary comments upon neglected
work, leaving the critique to be dgested
by the maid in the morning. When the
mistress came down the maid would have
recovered from any adverse criticism and
have brought her fiery temper under safe
control.
Eager to try her scheme she inserted
the following advertisement in the Morn
ing Gazette:
WANTED for general housework, a girl
who can read writing. l2zl Hobart Ave.
The number Of girls possessing the
temerity TO poe in tile double light of
housekeeper and literateur was limited to
one edition. A good-looking girl, quietly
dressed, possessing in her face something
akin to refinement. almost too good
looking" thought Celia Dow. But she
could read writing, satisfactorily extri-
Gated herself from all dilemmas of the
cookbook, and crossed herself, like the
good Catholic she was, at the point where
she solemnly abiured the,nse Of tile coal
oil can in connection with the laundry
stove.
She said she was French, and as Celia
Dow had SO unsuccessfully sampled other
nationalities, she decided it would be
novelty to have her work done in French.
She explained-with reseryations-her
reasons for wishing domestic who could
read writing, and Annette sgnitied her
acquiescence to the plan. So Annette
was engaged to come the next day. She
was the embodiment Of all the culinary
graces-a good cook, neat, economical, al
ways ready and willing, and patient with
the children.
Then came Celia Dow's halcyon DAYS.
She read, sketched, rode the wheel, and
drove her prolific pen across scores Of
pages Of writing paper. She even found
time to renew acquaintance with her hus-
band and children.
Spring came softly up from the South,
heralded by the warble Of bluebirds and
the CHEEKY call of the robin. Apple
bough sprang into miracle Of blossom
in one short night, and their subtle fra
GRANGE came floating through the open
window where Celia Dow sat woefully ey-
ing pile Of manuscript to be copied for
this was before every author owned
typewriter.