Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-11-24

shes an actress; married, I sup.
poser "oh. yesr' HAS che been
married long "Not long at a time"
-Philadslphls Ledger.
Willing victim; Ehe--when I set
my face against anything l mean 1t.
He-Would you-er--mind setting
your face against minsi-Exehange.
Dashaway-Did you have any trou.
BILE making love to Niss Flyerf Clever.
ton--Nons whatever. The trouble
came when I tried 10 break away
Life.
"Havs you been reading any OF these
articles on Why Men Don't Go to
Churchr" ''No. One might as well
50 to church and be done with H.
Exchange
Ysast-Why 10 q woman's pocket
like the north polef Crimsonbeak---
That's easy. Because the man doesn't
i've who ever discovered it.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Mistress-You seem to have q good
deal Of company, Mary. Maid-Yss'm.
Dey's what call my rainbeaux. Seven
different eolored gentlemen. Yas'm.-
Princeton Tiger.
One enough; Her Father (sternly)-
Young man. can you support 3 fam
ilyi Young Man (startled)-why-Cr
II only wanted your daughter-phil-
Rdslphia Ledger.
Naybor-Is that q new hen-house
you're buildingf Mr.. Snappy-No;
this 10 an old one I'm building to take
the place Of the new one I tore down
last week.-Exchange.
Mira Casey-An' phat did N doc
thor say allied yei Mr.. Casey-Appsn-
dicitiA Mrs Casey-och, worral 0i
knew he'd say thot II 70 wore thos
new Sunday suit-Judga
Esavium-Did you ever drink any
Of those substitutes for eOtreeI Lightly
What q foolish question: You know
! have sojourned In boarding houses
for the past ten ysarS--Chicago Newa
Dr.. PsndickS-Has yOur treatment
Of Jones' lung troubles been success
full Dr.. sharp-very. I sent him the
bin six months ago and be hasn't
coughed ysE-Cincinnah Commercial
Tribune.
American War Correspondent
wish were back In New York. Eng.
lish War Correspondent-Whyf Amer
lean War Corrsspondent-I'd be able
to learn something about what they're
doing hsre.-Puck.
"NeveP mind" said the friend,
scothingly, you'll wake up some
morning and find yourself famous."
"Not muchr' grOwIsd the pesMmistic
post, ''it would be Just my luck to
ovsrsleep myself that morning."-Phil-
adelphia Press.
Il believe" said the sanguins, but
visionary, inventor, ''if I only had time
could make q successful flying ma
chine. ''of course you could make II
al right If you only had plenty Of
time. Time hies. you know."-Phila.
delphiS Ledger.
Applying the principle. Ikey-l
Fadsr, I haf made 9 mistake in gihng
der Achange to dot last customer. l
give him dvendw-fifs csndtS too little.
His Fathsr-vell, Ikey, some wise man
has said dot vs should try to brofit By
"Tt'S always dangerous to Jump at
conclusions said the careful man:
you're liable to make yourself ridicu-
Ious, at least" yes" replied the Jer-
seq commutsr, 'T jumped at the con.
cluaion Of Q ferry-boat once, and
missed it"-Philadelphia Ledger.
'-That fellow-townsman Of yours"
remarked the New Yorker, hasn't
much idea Of table manners. "No," re-
piled the Chicagoan. Il noticed that
why, the other day seen him use the
same knife for his pie that he'd used
to eat his peas NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Ledger.
Mrs. Farmer-Joslah, I'm goln' to
town tomorrow to buy q new carpet |
for the parlor. What kind had bet
ter gitf Farmer Prosper-Any kind 70
ike. Bolindy. It makes no diff'rencs-I
bustiss, ex-minister, croqustte, or In
grats. Suit yoursslf.-Kansas City
Journal
Strenuous times since: Pa-Now,
don't ask me any more questions. I
don't see why your history lessons
should bother you 30. They didn't
bother me when was : boy. Willie
Well, there wasn't so much history
made when you was 3 boy.-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
"What q beautiful lawn you haveI'
"Yes," answered Mr.. Eagley's wife,
my husband keeps It that way" He
must be yeE Industrious" Yes. He
never misses q day with his lawn
although l could scarcely get
him to touch it until the neighbors be-
gan to complain about the noise It
made. ."--Washington Star.
Cholly Droudly)-By Jove! I'm
quits q professor Of swimming. don't
you know. taught Mabel Galley how
to swim in two lessons. Jack-Gad!
That was . quick throwdown. Cholly
Gndignantiy)-What do you meanl
Jack-Why, she let me give her ten
lessons before she learned-Town and
Country.
80 you are looking forward to a
good time this SUMMER "Yes, sir"
answered Mr.. Cumrox. "Going out Of
town. "No. I'm going to send mother
and the girls out Of town. Then I'm
going to Sit in my Shirt-sleeves, smoke
ny pipe in the parlor, and hire street
piano to play al the rag-time want"
-WashinCbOn Star.