New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-02-25
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


before squire IN a coal mining town on the charge
Of having killed OF the only scavengers Of that
country. After severely reprimanding the boy the
old squire. who a German. said: 4 fine you
slO"' Il halnt got tibet much" replied the boy.
Den fine you ST. II hain't got 80 Well how
much haf you gotY' Three dollars and seventy
five cents" "AH right; den fine you g To-
MODERN WAR BALLAD.
soldier who lived at Irsutsk
Was fat and coward 20 bootsk
a. H"f r.. n irs Te Boo SEi Sight sG hnsh''
He'd hot for good chance ter scootsk.
A volunteer down at TsItsikar
lie was seven feet tall
And to those who would fall
He'd remark. why. this march Is pi. piker."
patriot living at Omsk
Started out with the army to Tomsk;
And was heard 20 repeat.
Gee whizzId. wish was homsk-'
4 soldier Of TsarinFobentsk
Stripped his mess Of their very last ccntsk.
Till 20 ms great resrec
'Galnst four aces he bet
Which left him financially bentsk.
\ private who hailed from Nertskinski
Became so exceedingly thinslOi
That while cleaning his gun
,,When the days night was done ,-,.,,
Council Bluffs N0npareil-
The Newcastle Chronicle" has published the
following advertisements: Might Waterman want
ed for engineering works accustomed 20 abstract
ing preferred Il is not explained whether this IS
q ph:Anthropic EFFORT to reform burglars.
sadie married the president OF tho Electric
Yes And her marriage was a great shock to
every ne'-(lAfe.
In Russia altogether there are about eighty-nve
thousand elementary schools. the total cost Of
their maintenance being 100000 rubIes. about
81 10000. OF this amount the Zemstvos. pro-
vInciaI assemblies. which contain representative OF
the peasantry. contribute % per cent. and they
exist and operate in less than half the provinces
OF the empire. The imperial treasury contributes
- per cent and the rest Is made up by apprOpria-
tions Of the rural and municipal governments and
by gifts requests and other incidental contributions
There 100000 pupils In all the schools. only
quarter them being girls OF the female population
OF the empire only one in hfty-four appears as a
pupil: Of the males. about one In twenty In thou
sands OF instances children have TO walk from
eight TO twelve miles a day IN going and from
school and the school term comedies with the
coolest and sevcrest weather. Hair the army re-
cruits are iHteTate. Twenty years ago only one
IN nve could read and write. The greatest chaos
prevails ia the control and management OF these
elementary schools. and they come under the d.
rectlon OF nine different departments. Some are
secular and some religious. but none are equipped
as they should be and they might be under
more efficient administration; though there is not
money enough available from public or private
sources to carry the business Il ought TO
be carried on. Friends Of popular educauOn-and
they include every enlightened person In the en-
pire-ask that the government contribute half OF
the entire educational fund and laboring In
that direction with little present encouragement,
the country having too much on its hands Just now
to give the matter the attention It needs and de-
Her Little surprlse.-"Don't stop me now. dear.
Arches going TO propose in a few minutes
Certainly not lie doesn't know It yet. I've
ranged # a surprise for him.-(Brooklyn Life
Many careful computations have been made OF
the heights to which ocean waves may rise in
furious storms The Atlantic has been amazingly
tempest tossed in this turbulent winter. but when
the captain OF ocean liner reports that his
vessel safely outrode salty skyscrapers soaring
a hundred and twenty feet above the surface OF the
average level OF the pillows he compels to
gasp for breath
shattering IIusion.-The Ohio and Mississippi
rivers were bank-full In the pilot house OF the
steamboat as II drew near At the landing at Cairo
of the thriving city that stands at the junction OF
these two migAty rivers always an object OF inter-
and this" he said speaking more % himself
Martin ChHzzlewit landed. away back in the 40's'
The grizzled old pilot turned to him increduousy.
Mister" he responded. I've travelled this river
man an boy fur the las, last sixty year an hain,t
fooIing ye."-(Youth's Companion
Universities and colleges in the United States
have been treated literally by friends of educa-
ton in recent periods that some Of the small
er institutions. are asking for gifts OF 100000
apiece.
Hold Fast!-Conductor-An aboard Please get
aboard quickly. miss; the train Is about start
Young Lady-But wish 20 kiss my sister goodby
Conductor-Get aboard; get aboard. III attend
20 that for you--(Tale Record
A till before The Virginia Legislature gives the
conductors OF Pullman cars the right to exclude
any and all passengers who in their judgment
should not allowed TO ride" OF course. the
conductors judgment will unerringly point TO the
negro. 1t Is believed that the bill is drawn
10 be constitutional
A Sure slgn.-"Wer, guess old slyman is be-
ginning to make his pile
why do you think SOP
He's going around blowing about how much
happier . is when he's poor."-( Philadelphia
PreSA