The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-02-24
SHE WANTS TO KNOW
WRITER ASKS IF BROKEN EN-
GAGEMENTS ARE A DISGRACE
Bad as Is a Severed Troth, a Broken
Heart Is Worse-No Woman Ever
Should Take the Risk of Marrying
Man to Reform Him.

A young woman writes to tell us of
her broken engagement and asks If it
is not disgrace" to break an en-
gagement and if she would not be look
ed down upon for having broken her
word. We think that a broken en-
gagement is an unfortunate thing. but
a broken life is much worse, and the
girl who marries a man because she
has not the courage to break the en-
gagement before it is too late. is in
far worse plight, and more truly dis
graced" than the one who would break
three or four engagements.
There was a time when it was con-
siGered very grave and almost dis
grace, as you say. to break ones plight
ed troth, but there is happily more
common sense in the world today, and
the woman who finds she has made a
mistake in the man she intended to
marry. is to be commended for get
ting out of the affair before it is too
late.
1t takes, of course real courage to
do it, for a girl with many friends has
to face the deluge of talk which en-
sues and many unpleasantnesses which
are frequently the result, but all this
is a mere nothing compared to an
unhappy marriage which ruins all of
life and sends down misery to unborn
generations. If there were more
broken engagements there would be
fewer unhappy marriages, fewer homes
Ebroken up, and infinitely less trouble
lin the world.
The writer remembers being told by
a girl of the wonderful sensation of
relief she experienced when she first
n a 1ixf1
twas way out of her engagement to a
man who had proved himself wholly
! different than she had supposed. When
a man is engaged he has his best foot
forward; if he is not courteous,
thoughtful and what he should be
then, he is not likely to be after he
has married the girl. And unfortu-
nately many man who is charming
and attentive before he is married,
becomes quite the opposite afterwards,
all OF which and other risks many a
girl has to take in marrying. It is
Very foolish, nay, worse than foolish
for woman to marry a man with the
hope Of reforming him. If he drinks
before he is married-that is to ex-
cess-it is quite hopeless to think he
win drink less after marriage. Many
( the girl who has married with this
| forlorn hope and lived to repent with
| bitter tears. The girl who will, with
! her eyes open, marry man she knows
! is addicted to drink, deserves what
comes. There can be no worse fate
than to be the wife of a drunkard; the
misery suffered by the woman who
spends her nights waiting for an un-
certain footstep knowing that she is
/ handing down this curse to her chill
dren, cannot be measured by ordinary
standards. No where but in the eter-
Enal records is it written. Sometimes
Ia woman whose love is great and long
suffering, may redeem a man and he
kbecome a respectable, sober citizen
Through her influence, but these in
distances are rare. The world applauds
the woman who stands by q man when
lhe drinks, and If she has married him
knowing of his habits, she should bear
the burden and do her best But
! strangely enough when a woman
drinks and too many of them, alas. do
drink, no man is expected to stand by
her! The writer has known a man
or two who has had that awful thing.
a drinking wife, and in every instance
1t was considered a remarkable piece
of virtue on his part to continue to
live with her. Now from a strictly
logical point Of view it is no worse
Tor a woman to drink than for a man.
! put from different and more sentiment
! TAI viewpoint it is infinitely worse
+ but awful as it is for a woman TO he
audlcted TO drink, it cannot more ef-
1ectually break up family and ruin
q nome than when man does so.
We have wandered far afieId from,
fhe broken engagement, but We can
only repeat to our correspondent that
broken engagement is far from a dis
grace. ana 10 change ones mind is