Smyrna times., 1904-10-05
SHORT, SHARP AND SNAPPY.


Minneapolis is organizing combi-
nation church, and saloon. Bishop
Potter and Carrie Nation could give
them some points.
Massachusetts Democrats are going
to run a shoe manufacturer for COVER
nor. This ought to give them per-
feet understanding.
Tom Lawson ought to get a caveat
on some of his picturesque incentives
so that they cannot be used to affiict
the public during the q. mpaign.
It is fortunate that there is a Ding
ley tariff on radium. The American
product could not stand competition
with the pauper radium of Europe,
now worth only 81, 900 a pound.
In Wyoming, Colorado, Utah and
Idaho women can vote for president
and for all officers on the same terms
as men. In eighteen other states
they possess school suffrage. In Kan
sas they have municipal suffrage In
Montana and Iowa they vote on the
issue of municipal bonds.
The Marconigram news service on
steamers is finding its counterpart on
land. Union Pacific trains are now
furnished with a news bulletin posted
in the cars every afternoon, furnishing
a daily record of the worlds occur
rences. This will break the monotony
of the "Great American Desert"
The very lates new disease, hereafter
to take its place by the side of pneu-
monia, malaria, appendicitis and
other Affections unknown to our fathers
is called mental iaundice 1t results
from greed, pride, prejudice and
worriment The germs are believed
to be in every house. Look out!
General COrbin has already gone to
work planning military maneuvers
for next year to show how the battle of
Gettysburg ought not to have been
won. Every guest must come in an
automobile, gentlemen in Tuxedo
coats, and ladies in laces. 1t will be
splendid. You ought to get ready!
.
The agnostics who paraded round
the monument of Bruno in Rome last
week did not usher in universal bro
therly love. They declared "the Va
tican is corpse; we are life;" and the
Pope's organ alluded to them as ''the
Satanic congress of Freethinkers" and
expressed the wish that the Pope had
a little temporal power for the oc-
casion.
A tough all round fight is going on
in Missouri where both parties have
severe intestinal troubles of their own.
The state has eighteen votes in the
electoral college and that number
would be a serious loss in the solid
South to Democrats. Senator Stone
aud his lieutenants have organized an
aggressive opposition to the Demo
cratic candidate, Joe Folk, for Cover
nor.
Michigan has enacted law against
accidental shooting by hunting parties,
which provides a penalty of from five
to ten years IN penitentiary and fine
of $1,000. This strikes us as being
about the thing. Sportsmen should
be furnished with an inducement to
aim their guns at the game they want
to shoot, and every day should be a
closed season for human beings.
Ex-Governor Hoyt earnestly denies
that "the George Washington Uni
versity" will satisfy the demand for a
National University in Washington.
He says the National will confne
itself to graduate work exclusively and
thus will rest upon the colleges and
other universities; will confer no de-
grees below that of Master; and will
have distinctly in view the educational
independence of the United States and
the nationalizing of American senti-
ment.
The "unconventinal appropriation
of mony, or horses, even, in some Of
the New England states, is regarded
as a crime, or at least a tort. A man
In New Haven Conn, who "appro-
priated" $4,000 has been sent up for
five years. A fellow who "appro.
priated" a horse, went to the same
place for eight years. Whatever you
take in an unconventional way, dc
not take horse.