The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-07-01
TIE NONPAREJL MAN
An Astrological castup Of the Cars Horo-
scope Shows the Little Father to BE In
the Position Of the Pickle Next to the
High School Girl at Lunch Time.

Destiny" monthly periodical with a
bunch Of bald astrologers with whiskers
for editors, has been casting the car s
"horrorscope. 1t shows that Nicholas is
a good deal in the position of pickle in
the immediate vicinity of high school
girl at lunch time. Nicholas birthday was
taken and from it a line was run to sew
eral of the planets and to fixed star
or two while the moon was on Sagittarius.
1t was at once seen that the cZar's case
was hopeless and helpless. While he is
anxious to do well, the planet under
which he was born shows him to be sur
rounded by friends and counselors who are
false and deceptive, and by enemies who
are powerful and unyielding. Destiny
cheerfully wraps the car up and ties q
bit OF dark ribbon about the bundle as
follows: y 80. s
What will be the result Of the present
confiict-can he hope to win? No! The
portents are ominous.. Defeat and humilia-
tion internal struggle, disemberment and
downfall, and then peace-a peace which
the world cannot give nor yet can take
aWay-the. peace and silence of the grave. +"
The car might as well put his money
into. mining stock. Destiny says that he
is "all in ssi3
But before we give UP hope entirely let
us look into this astrology matter a little
further. A man is born under the in
tiuence Of a certain planet in a certain
position, and Is, hence, unlucky. Now, a
planet Is, it is said, merely a mass OF
matter and masses Of matter attract each
other inversely as the squares of their dis
tances do they not? Or something that
sounds like that, Now, II we suppose
that there was q heavy wooden bureau
! in the room when the car was born
would 1t not be reasonable to suppose that
| owing to the great distance Of the planet
~ 80 -, -
car was born under the influence Of the
bureau rather than Of the planet?
Just what will be the fate of a mar
born under the influence of the bureau II
right ascension is not known, but it would
seem to be rather knobby. We fear fol
/ the car.
The marsh mosquito has just advanced
on New Orleans. Nothing seems to inter,
fere with him but death, and as man witt
but two hands cannot slap himself only
about million times day. the situation
Is really a terrible one.
| In series Of holiness meetings" a
Lincoln, Neb., Rev. Mr.. Huff is annoying
sinners by bearing down real hard on {
! good, old, bubbling, seething hell that JUS
I gets warmed up to its work after a billion
or so years. We contend that this is no
a pleasant prospect.
II . II =
i It is not necessary to make any refer
ence to Brother Hicks "hot, dry sum
mer." .s-s
4 Colonel John W. Hurt and Colone
Z James Mitchell of Kentucky claim to hav
seen two angels on the latter's farm
| They. flew out of a wheat field and dis
: appeared in the sky. That is, the angels
not the colonies, did. The creatures ar
described by Colonel Hurt and Colone
Mitchell. Their backs-the angels'-wer
of snowy white and their breasts Of vel
low FURNISHED gold. The feathers Of the
wings were a glistening black, with snow
tips, and about their heads were hoods {
beautiful blue and white The angels ros
slowly and gracefully from the groun
and, without noise or song or movemeI
of their outspread wings, assembled VERT
caly until they were lost in the haz
> clouds overhead. 1t is good to hear the
( they are seeing something besides snake
in Kentucky.
. wisconsin girls have turned The
0 will be downtrodden no longer. The Ser
ltinel tells Of a Wisconsin association t
be called 1.-THE Old Maids of the, World,
which will. organize and see If it cannt
start something doing. The societ
I wishes the state to provide for the dis
: franchisement Of all unmarried men
q Inc age OIL 20 Or upWdlu WISCONSIN, IuS
areito be forbidden to go outside the stat
= for mates. They must marry Wiscons1
t women. When a Wisconsin woman a,
Y rives at the age Of 40 she shall draw
pension unless she marries Maiden ladit
shall be preferred as schoolteachers ar
!, principals.
= This looks as tho the girls were out fl
g business.
n Ernest Thompson Seton (is that nan
: front end foremost?J has an article
y Country Life in America" telling no
y to make fire Indian fashion by rubbir
Q sticks together. He says: when I fir
learned it took me from five to ten mil
utes to get a blazing fire-not half 6
n hour, as some books have it. But lat
: I got it down to minute, then to thirt
a one seconds, from the time Of taking
e the rubbing sticks to having fine blaz
h the time in getting the first spark beil
: about six seconds
It Mr.. It's. may not be stretching Il
ir truth, but what boy is there who hasr
rubbed wood together for an hour at
time without getting anything but bill
ter? "A. J. r.