The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-04-23
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/ Dyer-Miss Ferris is 81 years old.
Would you think it! Duell-,Not out
! loud.
She-Would you be willing to die
for me-" He-Why. I'm dying for
you now TOWN and Country.
/ Bank Where is the cash.
Ter? Gone to take rest? President
No. he's gone to avoid arrest.-Bos-
ton Globe
( Kitty-Constance has been painted
by Mr.. Gamborge. She is delighted
! with il. Maude--I see; it is picture
rather than a portrait.-Boston Tran
script
Miss Summit-How that young Mon
roe girl has improved. Miss Palisade
Hasn't she? Why. | can remember
when she was such modest little
tLing.-Ex.
The Slayer: Isn't 1t hard to lose
your daughter" No. not this one;
could have married her off year ago.
! 1t is her older sister that's hard to
! lose. Houston Post
/ Schoolmistress-John who was it
one whisper that date to you. Johnnie
Please. ma'am. | expect it was his
tory repeatin itself again.
/ Thinne-Oh, wish had your voice!
Thickke-No doubt you would enjoy
using ii. Thnne-No, faint that: but
/ was thinking If II were mine could
stop it when | liked.-Tit Bits.
Undisputed: Have taxpayers no
rightsT' demanded the impassioned or
ator. Certainly" replied man in
! the back row; they have the right to
pay taxes. Detroit Free Press
"Do you think, then. that men de-
scended from chimpanzees? asked
Willie Washington. "Some did" an
swered Miss Cayenne. land some mere
ly remained stationary. Washington
Star
Hannigan-Sure. these scales Is no
good at all fur ME. They only weigh
up to two hundred pounds. an Dim
near to two hundred and fifty. Elan
nigan-Well, man alive, can't We git
on thin twice?
! A Soft Heart: Freddy-Boo- hoo!
Sissy's gone and killed that little fly
on the window" Mother-I'm glad to
see my little Freddy is so tender heart
ed. Freddy-It isn't that. w-wanted
to k-kill 1t myself.--Pick- Me-Up.
And what did you say" asked the
caller. when he told you that your
pie wasn't like the pie his mother used
to maker" We'll" replied the hostess,
with toss of her head. II made few
remarks like my mother used to
make. "-Syracuse Herald.
"Huhw grumbled Mr.. skinnay, who
was being uncomfortably crowded by
the jolly looking fat man In the trolley
car. these cars should charge by
weight" Think SOP" replied the fat
man; then they wouldn't think it
worth while to stop for you. "-Phila-
delphia Public Ledger.
A countryman and his son put up"
at a city hotel Son out seeing the
town. Old gent comes down from his
room at midnight and says to the night
clerk: Has my son come in YETI"
| Night Clerk--Guess not. Haven't seen
him. Old Gent-Well. you needn't set
up for him any longer.
| The woman was doing her shipping.
The counter jumper handed her n pack
age, and she slowly turned away. "Do
4
mindedly asked. You have Just
bought some lawn" ventured the
clerk; don't you think you viii need
same oseT-Princeton Tiger
Strong on Etiquette: Bill-O yes,
he's great on etiquette. Jill-,.s that
right7 Bill-Sure! Why, he ras tell
ing me only yesterday tina! il a man
is smoking while walking down the
street with lady. the agar should al.
ways be In the side of the mouth fur
thest removed from the lady.-Boston
Transcript.
| An Accommodating Cook: Mrs. A lat
| the 'phone)-Wait a minute till ask
Bridget. If she has no objections I'll
be delighted to lunch with you to-mor-
row. "a moment later: Oh. hello. Mrs.
B.. YES. l can. Bridget says | can.
Isn't 1t lovely? Thanks. ever so much.
! Good by. Mrs. b. (soliloquizing envi.
ously)-What wouldn't I give for
cook like that!-Detroit Free Press.
"Never heard what broke up their
friendship Dear me! l thought ev-
cry one had heard that Brown is en-.
gagged, you know" "Oh. yes! I've
heard that. Was White in love with