The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-20

assi11dII(1s IN

.=4-.E b r i
Browns Smith the boss over at
his house? Jones-Mrs. Smith says he
isn't but / take notice he picks out all
the new wall paper.-C Cincinnati Trib-
une.
Mr.. Tim Idity---Is your chauffeur a
safe man to ride with? Mr.. Knote
Slowe-Why, certainly! No policeman
has succeeded In catching him yet
Town Topics.
Mrs. Chugwater-Josiah, where is
there such thing as a laundry trust?
Mr.. ugwater-Where? What do
you suppose the Flatren Building in
New York is for2 .r ...
Arthur, dear, don't you think it's
rather extravagant Of you to eat butter
with that delicious jam?" mo, love;
economical. Same piece of bread does
for both" Tit Bits.
Magistrate (sternly)-Didn,t 1 tell
wanted you to come before me again?
Prisoner-Yes, sir, but couldn't make
the policeman believe it-New Yorker.
care you at all familiar with
Plato" asked Mrs Oldcastle. mo,
that's one thing Josiah always blames
me for. He says l never make real
close friends with anybody. "-Phi!a-
delphia Ledger.
After a more severe reproof than
usual, little Bessie, who is extraordin-
arily sensitive, thought dill gently for
minute, and then said: Mamma, isn't
there any way a child can get a d.
vorce from its parents?"
"Some scientists" began Mr.. Gay,
significantly, "consider kissing danger
GUS. Do your" "Well," replied Miss
Smart, 81 think it would be for You.
My big brother is within call."-Ex-
change.
Fair Passenger-I've paid my fare
once. Why do you ask for it again?
CONDUCTOR beg pardon, lady, but
you look so much prettier every time
I pass through that l thought you
were another passenger.-Chicago
News.
Farmer Hoptoad-I dunno as them
city folks is so lazy, after all. Farmer
Trefrog-How's that, Hiram? Farmer
Hoptoad-One of the clerks at that
hotel where put up WIZ up ahead Of
me every mornin', try to beat him as
l would!-Philadelphla Press.
when young fellers begins a-court-
in" said Farmer Haicede, they jest
gifts crazy, an tibet thar boy Jim o
mine amt no exception" whats jim
bin a-doin'2" asked Farmer Soanreep
Hanged If he didn't go inter towr
yesterd'y an spend hull sixpence full
a teethbrush!"
EYES," said the boarding-schoo
teacher, II think that is model letter
for you to- write your fance. But Of
course you will copy 1t, leaving ou
those numerous spaces" ''Oh, dear
} nor replied the girl. "Those are fol
: dearest l have it on a rubbe
} stamp "-Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Phoxy-I was going to ask yoI
to try this little trick. Multiply tn
years Of your age by three, subtrac
, twenty-one from the total and what
the answer Miss Kute-You shoul'
} be able to guess the answer at once
/, Mr.. Phoxy-What Is it2 Miss Kute-
: None of your business.-Philadelphi'
{ Press.
the honest man Ito theater- door ten
der)-I see that you have signs in tn
+ho& hnn0hf
|. spectators will not be accepted. Now
:. 1 want to inform you that l bough
nv ticket Of a speculator. Door Tel
e der with a sickly smile)-Say, you re
!" formers give me a pain in the sofa
nlexus! G'wan in!-Exchange.
Edgar had been asked to write
composition about the camel. This
what he evolved: THE camel has fou
10 stomachs, and can go four weeks witt
n out feeding them, remembering IL
q week by counting the stomach ne hal
pens to be using at the time; and S
h. coming in out of the field once
- month, as regular as a clock, for h
breakfast, which is mostly water
I1ey udu Ueeu Ldlh4AlS as 1AN
walked. She had remarked pare
thetically: sob, it must be terrible
a man to be rejected by a woman
v Indeed it must" was his rezpons
Then after a while, with sympathet
v disingenuousness, she exclaimed:
> don't think that could ever have Il
= heart to do it." And there came
silence between them as he thought
s. over.-Tit-B
In a small village in Yorkshire {
old laborer once went into a neig
boris cottage. In the corner Of t
e little kitchen stood a grandfath
. clock, on the dial of which was t
customary figure Of an old man holdil
a scythe, and above was the tlme-wo
Y inscription, '"Tempus fugit." Looki
wisely up at the clock, the old nj
said to the owner: AYE, temp
S fugit! Same man as made ours, 1 see
d -Tit-Bits.