West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-06-16
Mrs. RASHER'S 4
|CURTA|N LECTURES
THEoLD MAN "Ar HonR.y
lie "rurns the Tables ON the Old Lady
and Gets Even With Vengeance.


Mrs. Rasber I'm proud aud
happy to welcome you. To what
Circumstance am | in
debted for the honor OF this visit
1t is three years since you delighted
your husband by visit to his place
of business. Does the smell offend
you ? your nose is turned up a little.
Will you sit down, my dear, upon
this half barrel of mess /? No will
you sit down on this hogshead ? Nor
You've been TO the bank with the
check | gave your Well, | trust
they did not refuse to cash so trif-
ing sum3 Have your revenge ?
What's the matter, my dear Isn't
the check all right1 / do not see
any mistake about il. Oh no
drawn backwards declare, that
was careless of me You should
have noticed it this morning, that /
might have corrected il. or course
the clerk could not make you
change for the two hundredth part
OF cent. Let's look at it-Soo.-
oos; bad mistake, really ! On
purpose to mortify and disappoint
you Now, Marier, you couldn't
suspect me of that and besides
"there's no outwittlng a woman"
you know--of course not, Marier /
You see it sharpens a fellows wits
to shut him up in dark closet
without any breakfast. j am very
sorry for the mistake and the trou-.
bic it's put you to. Was your dear
friend Fitz Simmons along with you,
as usual ? She must have been dis
appointed, not TO get her portion Of
the spoils. Don't look so cross,
wife; SIT down and make yourself
comfortable. Will have to put a
little grease on your temper, to
make 1t run smoother. Haven't
felt so we'll in long time as do
today. Business looking up again.
Sold thousand barrels today. I've
got five thousand dollars to deposit
as | go home. / could let you have
little. as well as not; buff should
give it to you today, there wouldn't
be any excuse for shutting me up in
the closet again, and / rather like
to be shut up by woman Quite
sell, wasn't 1.-THE thousand bar
rels,I mean. Check mated YOU.
my love Ha Ha ! You look
warm-won't you have draft of
something cooling ? I've got some
bottled stout under the desk there,
though wouldn't recommend it, as
1t might make you stouter than you
are. Will | or will not give YOU
money to finish your shopping 1
guess I've punished you enough for
that little trick you served me this
morning Just step into my private
Office. and iet me get iffor you. Ii
you won, set down on a hogshead,
perhaps you will on this chair.
What am | doing ? Oh, nothing
but locking you in my love. m
send Pat home with the carriage.
and you can make yourself com
Portable till FIVE O'Clock. Ffiz is
waiting for you at Taylor's /
only hope she hasn't money enough
to pay for the lunch Shes probably
ordered. You haven't had yours,
suppose; but as you ate both your
breakfast and mine, you Won't need
any. I've got watering pot | can
sprinkle you with this little window
and then you'll have on watered
silk. You've heard Of the wise adj
vice, keep your powder dry" and
If you should faint, I'd be a obliged
to dampen yours, and you'd be a
dough face, no matter what party
you belonged TO. I'm going out
now to see a man in the next block,
on business. I'll look in on YOU in
about half an hour.
How are you enjoying yourself,
Marier hope you're comfortable.
II you'll only say you're hungry.
I'll get you a side Of bacon out Of
the back room. can't cook il
for you, as I've no conyeniences,
except in one wsy-the style
called the domestic broil. I"
It's the way had my breakfast
cooked. As silence gives consent,
suppose 1 may get it for you, so
here goes. Good land, my love,
it's lodged right in your lap Why
didn't you catch il You've creased
your velvet cloak dreadfully. You
amt as spry as you used to be wife.
II you'd been inthe dark, as / vas
this morning, you wouldn't have
been 70 blame for tae accident.
You've made a pretty mess of IT,