The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-07-24

that afther a lifetime iv devoted service to his counthry, tn statesman's deciin- in days was elouded be q gr-reat sor- row He became vice prisidint fY tn Ohl- ted States, Oh how much betther .t~ere that we shud be sawed on ariy pc la .gr-reat reaper Death, thin that ilIe " honor shud end in ignomy.' It's turripie thing I read in tn pa-aper four years ago: Foul plot again Thaydore Rosenleia' Platt an Hanna schame to make nm Viee prisidint I r-read tn other day. Ateasn on Joe Cannon. Odell proposes mn vice prisidint. Cannon pleadln wisi t a,ss friends to save him. Bimepy "hin ll9 tbe.',l raise th, wind be goin' around an threatenin' Pluthrycrats with tn non.ny- nation. Yell hear people say: mat poy will come to no good end. lie VIII pc Fiee .prisidint.'
 ..If ve say about a man that he good prisidintial timber, hell buy ye ahflnk. If ve say he's good vice presidintial tim bAr ve ,nane that he isn't good enough to be cut into shingles an ye'd betther be careful. It's sthrange, too. because it's a good lob. I thnk man cud put in four years comfortably in tn place if he was a sound sleeper What arre his dooties, says ye? Th' candydate f'r prisidnt Is at home piekin' out tn big wurruds in tn dltehnry an ffrin thim at Us firm time to time. Tn candydate f'r tn vice pris- idiney is out in Ioway yellin' firm tn back iv car CT dhray. He goes to all tn church fairs an wakes an appears at public meetins between cornet solo an a glee club. He ought to be man good at repartee Our now honored (be some) prisidnt had to retort with tn very hands that since have signed tn
 Panama canal bill to a Colorado gintle- men who aceosted him with a scantl.1ig. An well ravmimber another candydatem an a gr-reat man too who replied to a gintleman in Shelbyville who med rude remark be threatein' him as though he was an open fireplace. It was what Ho- gan calls a fine cut an incisve reply. Yes sir tn candydate 1t vice prisidint has a busy time iv it durin' tn campaign, hoppin' fr'm town to town, spealSin, shak- In hands with tn popylace, who call him Hal or Charlie, dodgin' bricks, hght- in with his audjeence an diggin up TT tn finance comity. He has to De an ail- round man. He must be a good speaker, a pleasant man with tn ladies, fair boxer an rassler. somethin' iv a liar an if he's a raypublican campaignin' in Mis- souri, an active sprinter. IT he has all thim qualities, he may or may not rayce've a majority at tn polls an
 no man will know whether they voted IT him or not
 Well he's ilicted. Tn illctors call on th' candydate f'r prisidint an hand him tn office They notify the candydate fr vice prisidint through tn personal col umns iv tn pa-apers: If tn tall, dark gintleman with hazel eyes, black coat an
 white vest who was nommynated at tn
 cinvintion fir vice prisidint will call at headquarters, he will hear iv something to his advantage So he buys ticket an
 hops to Washin'to where he gets good
 room suited to his station right above the kitchen an overlookin a woodyeard. Tn
 prisidint has to live where he is but but tn vice prsdint Is free to go anywhere he likes where they are not particular. Tn Constichoochion provides tn presi- dint shall have to put up with darky cookin' but tn vice prisidint is permitted
 to eat out Ivry morning 1t is his busi- ness to call at tn White House an in- quire afther tn prisdint's health. Whin told that tn prisidint was niver betther he gives three cheers an departs with heavy heart Tn feelin iv tn vice prisi- dint about the prisdint's well-bein' is
 very deep. On rainy days he calls at tn White House an begs tn prisidint not to go out without his rubbers. He has Mrs. Viee-prisidint knit him a shawl to pro- tect his throat again tn night air If tn
 prisidint has a touch iv fever, tn vice presidnt gets a touch in fever himself. He has tn doctor on tn phone durin' tn night Doc. hear tn prisidint Is
 orwell he says. Cud I do anything f'r l him, annything like dhrawin' his salary or appintin' tn postmaster at 1nd1ynapolis? ? It is prncip'lly. Hinnissy, because lv tn vice prisidint that most iv our presidints have enjoyed such rugged health. Tn vice prisidint guards tn prisidint an tn pris- I idint afther sizin mp tn vice prisidint con- cludes that 1t wud be betther f'r tn coun- I thry If he shud live yet awhile. Dye ] know says tn prisidint to tn vice pris- ! idint. .ivry time I see you l feel ten
 years younger Ye'er kind wurruds, says 1 tn vice prisidint, brings tears to me
 eyes. My wife was sayin' on'y this morn- 1 in how comfortable we ar-re in our lit-
 tie flat Some vice prisdints have been