New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-08-19
THE TALK or THE DAY.

and enthusiastic OF royal motorists. He and the
Queen sometimes so out alone, and on one such oc-
cas!on they had q breakdown inn at which
there staying two British tourists. "A fine
cars said one OF These In English 70 his friend.
More than b. said OF the chauffeur" observed
the other. y never saw SUCH wee man In such
big car" Yes. but his companion Is delightfully."-
pretty, lucky beggarl let's ask him IL he can
give little brandy. as this place Is out OF it
y shall DO happy to obge you said the King. IN
good English. and anything else you may happen
70 require. Ny kingdom is larger than It's ruler'
And the tourists realized that they had entertained
a King unawsres.
DIFFICILIs DEsCENSUs AvERNL
n.sSig ~ SPe.-n Gsy sTi,lsh d1saa IN II. Tefp.
men OF means and leisure arord tho luxury OF
grand passion.l
There's q wish I've always had to be very. very
For feel that could make every bit as rood a
As the dissoiute Tom Jones or giddy oueI.
would cultivate passion IN tho very nnest
Ana eopc with lots OF other peoples wives
Had my income but permitted. I've soul exactly
For the gayes, and the wickedest OF Ivea
But whenever aspire to a questionable fra
When particularly tempted 10 elope,
Say. TO Margate or southeud, with charming
am suddenly compelled TO crush nv hopeI
For. alas! my circumstances 60 not warrant such
And my chief would look unutterably black
Was ar unromanto person with the sack.
How envy lucky chaps--in the Albany, perhaps
WHO address their cringing Wallets thus: You
Pack. my Gladstone bag! Make hast,l There 1,
- We are leaving FOR the Continent At once"
At the prospects which await poorer men
IT'S ysry prosy pity but I've got to reach the
Every morning the clock is striking ten
Thus with every wish to shine in the gay 10
And With every inclination TO be bad
Fate is. Is too much for me. and the sad result
- I'm the very mldsst person TO be had,
On SUNDAY you VIII find me. with my little
stroilng virtaously over walham Green.
All, how few would guess the hunger OF this pious
For the joys Of forbidden might have been,
In a church at Birmingham. England. recently
| the singing postponed while the organlst went
out 10 punch the organ blower. who had fallen
asleep. Then choir and congregation went on with
the well known hymn, art thou weary. art thou
languid7"
There are some songs that will never die" said
Il guess that's right" answered SIR. cumro1
MY daughter sits down at the piano and tries to
kin few OF 'em every evening. But it's no use'
washington Star
new device has caused a boom in hardware in
the prohibition State OF South Dakota II Is q
spirit level, ruler, calendar pencil holder
hined. and In South Dakota sells two for quar-
ter at the best regulated hardware stores. Where
there hardware store In one town there
now three. and all are doing a big business in
spirit levels.
The most interesting thing about the device Is
spirit level. with emphasis spirit" In the
ire Of a square piece OF wood about eight inches
long Is a hole running engthwise. into which fits
very neatly glass tube tightly corked containing
two OF spirits Another hole running length
wise is just large enough to hold lead pencil.
In tho middle OF the piece OF wood are two holes
running at right angles to the aperture extraordi-
nary containing tia tube. One can look into these
smaller holes and the spirits In the glass tube
The ownar of the device may. il he chooses. ex-
tract the tube from the frame uncork II and pro-
coed to the work of putting down liquor according
10 tha manner In vogue in non-prohib!tion States
rbersupon the possessor has more use for the
spirit level nor the lead pencil the calendar
tho ruler.
A TWENTIETH CENTURY MAUD
| Maud Muller. on a summers morn.
Heard the toot OF an auto norm.
aseeI. said Maud. "he's going fast
And then she thought OF the signs and tears
The Judge had caused her ali these years.
| Hes breaking the law at that speed" quoth she.
"Ha! hal hal ha here's revenge for ms,a
60 she set her teeth and meier cen finched
While she took his number and had him pinched
-1Boston Traveller.