New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-03-23

Yes" he shouted. pounding the pulpit with his hst
there shall surely be gnashing Of teeth But
7 ain't got no teethT' shrilly piped up an old
woman who had been worked up TO a full realiza-
ton Of her sins by the preacher. Then. madam.
YELLED the minister. turning IN her direction. they
will be provided"
BALLAD OF THE BAD COLD.
Now. there was a man with a red. red nose
He stood in the street. with patient pose
While the cars went hurrying BY
And he read paper and stamped his toes
And softly kerchieted his crimson nose.
friend soon Joined him IN waiting there
And asked: What's the latest rOw9 -
And what has been taken. and when and whereF
And the friend said: Jimmy! You don't say
Now what do you think Will be done to-dayT
The man turned then. and he sighed: 7 think
nean--Ah-choo.'-an a Quivering blink
Closed his eyes as the tears cane came. through through
l don't think they will said the other man
1T isn.t-Ah-ohee." cried the rsd-nosed man.
but It's Ooo-Chy- 90 Anxiety wow. $500.
said The friend. They're doing It now,
But the other answered.. - can you
.,,o M. You're wrong" said the friend at that.
From ~ the seat Of war. aud TN bot my hat
And T the ma man With nose mat was ruby red
Just surglod and groaned and SHOOK MS heAa'
Il don't mean the war were ne words he said
thought were asking OF me-
what I took f1r this cold hat - iu my head
And told vou-Whhooi 700. chavez.
And the friend then suickered aud SAD sa'd ne
You s'''10 INC -,Chicago Tribune.
An Oregon newspaper man n Washington IS tell
ing A good story about Dr. Hale. Ho says he was
once travelling in tho back country OF oregon. and
going 20 a little Inn Tor lodging. was surprised TO
see a large picture Of DR.. Hale on the wall. The
woman O, tho house explained II thus: We'll you
sec. a good many strangers come here and want
No 90 keep EN-. and don't know anything ABOUT
en- but n they know Edward Everett Haes
picture know they're good for something ana
let en- stay
-,L5Sst q you 10 eat butter With that delicious
tamF7 "No love: economical Same piece OF
bread does FOR both."-Cnt-B!ts.
4 good story q an old crottsr who appeared
before tho commission 20 apply for a reduction OF
rent was recently told ~ a meeting In Glasgow.
Tho number Of cnttle tbs farm led sherin
Brand 10 observe that surely tho croft could not
DO IN such a had way its owner would seek 20
show. Och" replied the old fellow, you should
SEQ The tit heasties" ''VVhat~-like theyT'
Pharaoh's kline" How lean that asked
tho Sheriff, doubtless thinking that he had cor
nered tho applicant But had her Not q bit Like
q fash came back the answer: 80 lean. sir. that
they could only be eaten in a vision
A Color study-"There,s a significant. difference
..GysT tho russians look white and act yellow.
T T3ts the japanese look '''0" anu "'' "''''N
The Aud Brig O Ayr" immortslized by Burns,
is NJ last falling into decay. after useful exist
eucs OF over six hundred years. Burns makes It
say 10 It's new rival who reproached It as being
old-fash!oned and ugly: III be a brig when yere
a shapeless calm" But its supports now
cr,ImbllnE An architect reports that II will soon
collapse unless II he shored ND and renewed He
T. trying 20 induce the Town Council 81 Ayr TO
appropriate s. 800 preservation The council
ls willing to act II is said but IS delaying over
question OF whether the money should come from
taxation or be taken from bequest long ago made
for the purpose the validity OF which Is undecided
THERE AND HERE.
I hear the robin piping in the barnynrd maple
The biuchird from tho meadow sends gentle
Across The vale the rumble sounds Of electric
Anon there comes tho lowing OF the automatic
And here ana there on every hand the motor har-
The dear and gladstone udings OF tho coming of
the spring. -tNeWarH news.
Tho landscape hides its face beneath foot or two
Across the lake the bleak east winds mOnotOnOusy
The ice along the water front is thick from crib
Tho thaWing out of frozen pipes Is stiu daily
And With his deep. hoarse voice old Winter
saws You bet
There's nothing wrong. by Jimmy; with my, back
bono as yet! -tChlcSBo tribune
Representative Maddox. Of Georgia. who Is
70 retire from Congress. has received this letter
IRON, a constituent: Deer Mister Kongressman-
Sum, time ago writ you asking IL their were any
ching the Guvment could do n make hghtn' wife
b.bave herself amt heard from you. and things
"a no better. VIII you please let know how I
can get one OF them big pizen snakes from Afrika.
have always voted for you and this IS nifty little
20 ask OF you especially when mans wife is al
ways a peckin' on him.
lust Hint-NIr. Sloman-It's so strange that
we have no national flower. We certainly should
Mi NEiss Waite Csigniacantly)-Yes; think the
orange blossom would be nice--I'hlladelphia Press.
A Jananese woman, when abandoned by her
lover takes a peculiar and picturesque revenge.
When she no longer has any doubt as to his faith
lessness she gets up the middle Of the night
and puts on a pleasing dress and wooden sandals
Attached 10 her headdress she carries three lighted
candles. and suspended to her neck hangs a small
mirror She takes in her left hand a small straw
efigy of the faithless one. and in her right a
hammer and nails Walking gravely to the sanctu-
ary she selects one Of the sacred trees and nail.
the effgy securely 20 the trunk. She then prays
for the death Of the traitor. vowing that II her
wish is granted she will take the nails which
trouble her god since they fastened to a sacred
tree Night after night she comes 20 the tree add
ing one or two nails. and repeating her prayers
persuaded that the god will not hesitate to sacrifice
the to the tree.
Larry-I sent Maude e garter snake in alcohol
for a Joke.
TIarTy-what did she do?
which it was ssnt-CPrincston Tiger ''''' ~