davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

1.-THE Rev. Mr.. Pondrous has fiopped
over and come out for your party.
Why don't you get him to speak at
your rally?"
He might forget himself and
preach sermon. We want the peo-
pie to keep awake at our rally"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Mixerly. the chemist. claims
to have discovered an elixir that will
make old men young.
Brown-He is on the wrong track
Green-How's that?
Brown-He should proceed to earn
the everlasting gratitude of a long
suffering public by discovering an
elixir that will make some young men
older.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

lis 1t So pop. that there is SO much
water down in Wal street?" asked the
brokers' little boy.
why no. my SON. said the man OF
stocks and bonds. laughingly; that's
only newspaper joke"
well. pop. why do you turn up
your trousers at the bottom every
morning when you go down there7"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Jokeley-of course you are inter
ested in the cat show that is to be
held next month?
Rimer tthe poet)-I? Why should
be?
Jokeley-Why. it's got up expressly
for people who cultivate the news.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
Really a Captivating title.

Senior Partner-What title shall
we give our new beauty book?
Junior partner-How would How
TO Become Beautiful" do?
Senior partner-Don't believe that
would make a hit with most women.
Junior partner-Then wen call 1t
How to Continue Beautiful"
Senior partner-Ah, that's the
stuff
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
The Quantity He Wanted.

An Irishman. meeting another one
holiday, invited him to the nearest sa-
loon to have a drink.
"What'll ye have. Jim?" said the
lost.
Il don't know. What are you going
to take?"
81 think I'll take a pale ale."
All right" said the other. give
me pail. too. "-Lippincott's
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

The fancy for Transporter. effects
around the throat and shoulders is
SO r"'ae very firm place in
the affections of the smart dresser.
There is simply no other effect that is
-e,-'ing that viii lend
dressier effect at more moderate
cost than this same yoke design.
--'-''- &c = carried out in lace and
n chiffon lining is placed underneath
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

The youngster had heard facetious
reference to the foolkiller and he was
curious.
Does the fooilxiller have to work
awful hard?" he asked.
mo; he doesn't have to my son.
but he ought to- was the reply. "He'd
have no time for sleep II he didn't
shirk his duty most shamefully.''
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

First What's the matter
with you?
Second Invalid.-Ague. What's
your trouble?
First Invalid--Same thing.
Second lnvalid-Goodl Let's go
over to that saloon on the corner ana
shake for the drinks.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
A Wise Hen.

Rooster-Don't you know you're
sitting on a litter of glass eggs?
Hen-Sh! Don't mention 1t. AS
long as the hired man takes me for
fool hen bring me my meals and
won't have to grub for living.-Ex-
change.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

What was your first step in crime
that led up to this daring forgeryr-
asked the Judge.
Il began by changing the dates %
my wife's letters before / finally
mailed them" answered the victim %
his own wilos.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
The HandIcap Of Marrlaae.

Wife-You'll miss ,half the fun OF
your life If you don't take me with
you.
Husband (preparing for little trip
to Paris)-Perhaps but I'll miss the
other half II do.-London Tattler
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

New Minister-'Dea under
stand that you do rot believe men are
sufficiently punished here on earth
for their misdeeds."
The Deacon-'Well, parson. didn't
believe it until after heard yor
preach"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
Round Yoke Nlaht Gown.

Cool weather brings the demand
for night gowns high at the throat
and which perfectly protect the shout
ders. This one is admirable in every
way and can be made from wash fan
mel as well as cotton materials. but Is
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
chIId,s Lona Coat wIth shleId.

Long coats, made loose and ample
and with wide sleeves are better suit
ed to young children than any other
sort and are much in vogue. This one
is adapted to the entire range of
shield which can be used or ordtted
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Muggins-I understand your wife
is financially interested in your bust
ness.
Gabbleton-Yes
Muggins--Silent partner. Ell!
Gabbleton-Huh. You evidently
don't know my wife.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
AGAINST Odds.

why didn't you send for me
sooner?" asked the doctor of patient
who was almost due at the jumping
OFF place.
well, d-doctor." gasped the invalid
at t-took me l-long time to make up
my m-mind to do anything d-desper-
ate"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

1t was case of assault and battery
During the alteration. querie6
the police magistrate, did the acS
cused use an expletive?"
No. your honor" replied the prose
cutting witness, he only used his ISL
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
Pooling Him.

Mrs. Ascum-Have you bought
your husbands birthday present yet?
Mrs. Newliwed-Yes, and / think it
was real clever of me too. l bought
a big cigar for 10 cents.
Mrs. Ascum-That looks rather
cheap.
Mrs. Newliwed-Yes, but wait, l
found pricetag marked $3.50 and l
pasted that on it.-Philadelphia
Press.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
Just a Way They Have.

Say. conductor" asked the inquis-
tive passenger. in speaking of the
time which is proper. "a quarter to
six or quarter of six"
Neither" replied the railroad
man. 81 always say 'five-forty-five.'
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Young Mani have called. sir. to
request your daughters hand in mar
rage"
Stern Parent--"Huh, Has my
daughter consented to marry your
Young Manor course not. II she
had l wouldn't be wasting any time
on you"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Grace-so Tom is engaged to Ethel.
is he?
Dora-Yes. poor fellowl 1 suppose
he'll never know it nov.
Grace-Never know what?
Dora-That he could have had you
for the asking.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Miss Kremey- Haven't you MooreIs
poems?
Clerlt--Yes. Miss; L II get EN- for
you. BY the way, here's a splendid
story called Just One Kiss"
Miss Kremley (coldly)--I want
Moore.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

what" exclaimed Groucherly-
you want new bonnet? Why, ;
think the one you have is very becom-
ing"
Eyes" replied Mrs. Groucherly. and
SO do all the neighbors; they think ~
becoming very ancient and decrepl.-
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Dolman shapes, knee length, prom
Use to be popular for afternoon wear
with visiting gowns. Most of them
are of broadcloth. wide enough to be
made without seams.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Il don't believe | ever could 1earr
to love man." said the giddy givH-
Our ideas seem to ehoot the same
chute'' re1oined the sarcastic youth
1 am positive | couldn't. ejfber.''
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
Sex In Questions.

There is sex in questions"
How so?"
why. VIII she have him?' Is es-
masculine. while Can she
get him7' is the feminine of It."
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Nell-You seem perfectly satisfied
with your new gown.
Believes; 1t has been approved
by the man L like best and con-
demned by the woman l hate most
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Jack = Serves y(u right Yon
ought to go slow abbut such things
Toni did. That's why I got
caught"
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10
He Failed to Score.

Him-Will you share my lot?
Her-Not me; l don't like the crop
you will gather from 1t.
Him-Crop of what?
Her-Wild oats.
The Elbert County tribune. [volume] (Elbert, Elbert County, Colo.) 18??-1920, 1904-11-10

Tom-"Old Binl1ins caught me 10
tho act of kissing his daughter iasi
The Corvallis times. (Corvallis, Or.) 1888-1909, 1904-09-28
JAps CONTROL WATER
PORT ARTHUR FoRTGUARD-
ING SUPPLY TAKEN.
Second Fortress Captured-Assaults
Coak3, 900 Men-Russian Troops
Refuse to Surrender, and
Nearly the Entire Force
Is Killed or Wounded.

Chefoo, Sept. 25.-As a result of
the battle before Port Arthur, which
began on September 1e, the Japan.
ese succeeded in capturing several
important positions, and today the
Russian tenure of the big forts
guarding the north, northeast and
northwest sides of the town is seri.
ously threatened.
Chinese information places the
Japanese losses under 5000 for the
three days. fighting, and this COM
paratively small casualty list is due
to the successive care used by the
Japanese in making their prepara-
tions for the advance. Russian
sources, however, are said to have
information that the Japanese los
ses were unusually severe. amount
ing to fully three times the number
mentioned above.
Possibly the most important cap
ture during the three days fighting
was that of Fort Kuropatkin, which,
while of minor value with regard to
preventing the entrance into the
town of the Japanese, has been con.
structed for the purpose of protect
ing the source of the garrison's wa
ter supply. The control of this
water supply is now in the han is
of the Japanese.
As was announced in these dis
patches September 20, the battle
began before daybreak on Septem.
Der 10. At this hour the citizens
and the garrison of Port Arthur, af-
ter the enjoyment Of weeks Of COM
parative security, awoke to the
thunderous reports of artillery along
the line extending from the west of
liz Mountains to Rihlung and Ki.
wan Mountains. This was but a
preface to the assault which was
destined to result in the capture ol
three new and important Russian
positions, together with six small
but annoying forts lying between
Shushiyen and Rivung Mountain.
During the day and night of the
18th and until noon of the Goth the
bonn bardment continued without
cessation, and many shells falling
from quarters which previously had
been silent made 1t obvious thai
the Japanese had at least succeeded
either in mountain many heavy
guns in new positions or In strength
ening their old positions. The fight
ing during this period was compar
atively trivial.
At noon of September 20 the Jap
anese right and center, the for me-
being to the west and the latter Il
the east of the railroad, commenced
to advance. The troops made US
of the trenches and infrequent nat
The Corvallis times. (Corvallis, Or.) 1888-1909, 1904-09-28
CORVALLIS, OREGON. SEPTEMBER IS. 1904.

praying earnestly TO be spared for
her children, but death ensued in a
few minutes. Both engines and all
of the coaches of No. 15 were
demolished, the smoker and bag
gage Car completely SO. The sleep.
ers remained on the track undam-
aged. Both engines lay to the north
of the track. iammed together into
npe mass of ruins, the cars which
were demolished were piled on the
wrecked engine"
Congressman II. R. Gibson, from
the second congressional district of
Tennessee, was a passenger in a
day coach OBJ the eastbound train.
He and another man, whose name
is not known, were the only per-
sons to escape alive from the demol-
ished car. Congressman Gibson
was en- routs to Russellville, Tenn,
to deliver a political address.
The Corvallis times. (Corvallis, Or.) 1888-1909, 1904-09-28

ural cover that lay in their way.
The small forts to the south resist
ed this advance but briefly, their
not being strong numeri-
cally. Since the beginning of the
bombardment the artillery fire from
Fort Kuropatkin had been growing
steadily weaker, and it having be-
come apparent that it had been
practically silenced, the Japanese
assaulted the fort.
Fort Kuropatkin is situated to
the south of Palichuang and to the
northeast of the parade ground, On
a low hill. 1t derives its name
from the time when General Kuro.
patkin inspected it, pointed out the
weakness of the position, and ord
cred that 1t be strengthened as far
as possible because of the necessity
of protecting the water supply.
While situated In the chain of
main forts, Fort Kuropatkin never
has been as strong as them, and af-
ter severe fighting it fell into the
hands of the Japanese. This cap.
ture lessons further the strength of
the fort on Rihlung Mountain,
which is now threaten, d from new
quarter as well as fro II Palich ang.
At o'clock on the afltl noon Of the
Goth the Japanese captured a sup
Elementary fort, which, from the
lower ground, threatens the fort on
Itz mountain. This ended the
heavy fighting for the day, although
the Japanese later were compelled
to resist several sorties.
During the night the heavy bonn
bardment of the Russian positions
continued, the Japanese fire being
directed with particular vigor a
gainst another supplementary fort,
5000 yards to the west of the fort,
on'Itz Mountain, and regarded as
highly important because of its
bearing on the Itz and Anshu
Mountain forts.
The next day, after having
pounded the position numerically
and until its fire had slackened vis-
IDLY, the japanese delivered their
assault. They met with stubborn
resistance. They were exposed to
the fire of machine guns and rifles,
and they made heroic effolts to
reach the crest of the slope.
They leaped over trenches and
embankments and tore down the
entanglements. in their path until
at length they entered the fort. The
Russian troops there refused to de-
sert their position, even in the face
of superior numbers which confront
ed them and desperate hand-to-
hand fighting occurred inside the
fort.
Eventually almost the entire
Russian garrison was either killed
or wounded.
The foregoing information has
been obtained from a Chinese of
impeachable trustworthiness. @
As the Chinese from whom the
correspondent of the Associated
Press obtained his information left
Port Arthur the night Of September
81, he is unable to say whether the
battle was renewed on the 22d OF
not, although -junks which have
come in here bring reports Of light
bombardment on that day.
The Corvallis times. (Corvallis, Or.) 1888-1909, 1904-09-28

Toxic, Sept. 23.-An official tel
egram states that detachment of
japanese aetacked force of Rus
slams near Heiniuchuang on Sept.
20,. and that the Russians were
driven off, leaving 10 dead. The
Japanese losses are reported as, bs.1
ing slight.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-11-17
K. OF P. FESTIVAL.
Ceremonies in Connection With the
Opening of New Temple.

The various programs of entertainment
given during the week in connection with
the dedication of the new Knights of Pyth-
las Temple at 1912 9th street northwest
have been regarded eminently success
full. The program provided for this even
ing by the committee of forty-five will
consist Of an Evolutionary entertainment
by Miss Evangeline -Vallar assisted by Mr..
Newton I. Hammer, baritone; Mr.. w. H.
Bright, and Mr.. Wiley H. Davis.
The committee has made arrangements
for an entertainment for tomorrow evening
consisting of a chalk talk and readings
The entertainers will be Mr.. Will H.
Chandlee and Mr.. Felix Mahoney, artist
and cartoonist, respectively, of The Even
ing Star, and Mr.. Israel, reader
Mr.. Barry Bulk1ey, secretary of the Bust
ness Mems Association, has been secured
by the committee for an illustrated lecture
Saturday evening on 1.-THE Yellowstone
for both programs, and also for the dane
ing at the conclusion of each evening 8
entertainment.
The committee of ladies in charge Of re-
Mrs. T. A. Bynum, chairman; Mrs. David
Hardester, vice chairman: Mrs S. ]. Crup-
per, secretary; Mrs. F. B. Crown, treas
urer; Mrs. w. H. G.. Simmons, Mrs. Davis.
Mrs Il B. Armstrong. Mrs; Albert Kah-
lert, Mrs. c. H. Woodward, Mrs. Prescott,
Mrs. Deane, Mrs. NJ. Mangum. Mrs. Noble.
Mrs. Carson. Mrs. w. A Kimmell, Mrs.
kleindinst, Mrs. Little. Mrs. Mcqueen, Miss
Angerman. Miss Little. Mrs. d. Hardester,
Mrs. Maddox, Mrs. Fugel, Miss Fugel, Mrs.
w. c. Coffin, Mrs G. w. Boynton, Mrs.
E. Woodward. Mrs. J. W. Carter, Mrs. w,
NJ Hodges, Mrs. Quackenbush. Mrs.
Mathews, Mrs. David. Mrs. G. w. Bau-
mann. Mrs. V. ]. Matchett, Mrs. Patrick,
Mrs, c. R. Saur. Mrs. Bushby, Miss Edith
Carter Miss Murray, Miss NJ Steiner,
Miss Rullman and Miss Bully.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-11-17
OFFICES OBSOLETE.
District Positions on Statute Books to
Be Abolished,

According to a report prepared today by
DR.. William Tindali secretary to the board
OF Commissioners, at the request Of Com
missioner Mcfarland, there are at present
more than twenty offices under the local
government which have become obsolete,
and yet remain on the statute books. Mr..
Macfarland has announced his intention Of
carefully considering the advisability Of
abolishing these obsolete offices by an
official order, under authority conferred on
the Commissioners by Congress.
The obsolete offices, now untitled, are
follows:
Four weighers of hay, straw and fodder;
two commissioners of the eastern burial
ground two for the western burial ground
one sexton for the eastern and one for the
western, one lamplighter for every eighty
lamps in Washington, two commissioners
for the eastern market, two for the west
ern market, two for the northern, and two
for the Georgetown market, one harbor-
master for Georgetown, two trustees for
the poor of Georgetown.
The greater part of these offices have
been replaced in recent years by newer Of
ficials, appointed under late acts of Con-
gress The offices of the three trustees of
the ''Corcoran charity says DR.. Tindall,
may be subject to abolition, owing to GER
tain changed legislation affecting them.
This point has not yet been decided.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-11-17
Recommendation Approved

Commissioner West has approved the rec
ommendation of Assessor Hopewell H. OAR
nellie that the request of the Washington
City Church Extension Society of the NJ
E. Church South for the exemption of GER
tain lots in LIE Droit Park be refused. The
land In question: It Is stated, was acquired
by the church society in June, 1904 and ac-
cording to the statement Of the attorney
representing the society. Joseph r. Fague,
the property is to be used exclusively for
religious purposes, and the contract has
been let for the construction of a church
to be known as st. Paul NJ E. Church
South. The work is delayed. however, by
the refusal of the surveyor to make the
necessary survey swhile the tax assessed
against the property remains unpaid The
society wishes the tax for 1905 Cancelled
Assessor Darneille shows that in ac-
cordance with the law and unbroken prece-
dent in such matters exemption from tax
alton cannot begin until church is finish
ed and actually occupied and used for relig-
ious purposes.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-11-17
Wants Deed Nullified.

By proceedings in equity instituted today
in the Supreme Court of the District Of Co.
lumbia by Winston w. Taylor of Chicago,
ILL.,, against Susie A. Taylor Of this city, 1t
is sought to have deed declared to be null
and void. The deed is dated October Is
last, conveying premises 1924 18th street
from Thornton Taylor. who died the 5th
instant. to the defendant. 1t is also sought
to have the title to the property declared
to be in the heirs-at-law of the deceased.
The complainant states that Thornton
Taylor was. at the time of executing the
deed, at the house of the defendant, 220 r
street. where he had been taken by the
defendant from Garfield Hospital. 1t is
charged that the execution of the deed was
procured through undue influence importu-
mites. coercion and compulsion, and was
not in fact or in law the act or deed Of
Thornton Taylor.
Attorneys Henry E. Davis and E. B.
kimball represent the complainant.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-11-17
Funeral of Mrs. F. K. Gordon.

The funeral of Mrs. Frances K. Gordon
took place from the family residence, 9l4
Sth street northwest, at 10 am. today.
Mrs Gordon was loved and respected by
all who knew her She was a prominent
member of the G. A. r. and member OF
the Nurses Union. and attended all the
Grand Army reunions. Mrs Gordon was
well known for her private charities and as
a helper of women. She will be missed by
a host of the old pioneers of Washington.
In her younger days she was captured by
the Indians at the time of the Custer mas
sacre and she won her freedom by her
gentle ways and kindness to the sick and
afflicted In the Indian camps. The chief
of the tribe escorted her with a band of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-11-17
Wanted to Say Something.

Indeed. 1 do want to say something"
Susie Thompson. acolored. responded when
Judge Scott addressed her this morning
after he had been told of her alleged mis-
conduct. .sa
81 wasn't drunk" the woman declared
You're half drunk now" remarked the
prosecutor.
Indeed, 1 am just as sober as anybody
else
Susie said she saw the policeman about
five minutes before he arrested her, and
wanted to know why he did not lock her up
when he first saw her. The judge said she
would have to ask the policeman about
that, and imposed fine of $50 Susie was
told that she will have to serve three
months on the farm If the fine is not paid
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-11-17
Adverse Recommendation.

Engineer Commissioner Biddle has recon-
mended to the Commissioners that the ap-
plcation of William King & Sons for a
permit to construct a driveway across the
sidewalk in front of 1851 10th street north
west be denied. In his recommendation in
connection with this application Col Bid
die says:
Permits for crossing sidewalks are
usually granted to connect business es-
Establishments with the roadway and to
private residences to allow carriages to
drive up to the front door. They are also
permitted in certain instances In order to
connect private stables with the street.
The present instance does not come IN
der any of the classes mentioned. The
building in question. in front of which
permission is requested to construct a
driveway, is simply an Office. and can be
used as a wood and coal shed or for a
buggy, but cannot be used In connection
with horse. The lot abuts on a large
alley and there is no reason why the en-
trance to the shed should not be made
from this alley.
"This crossing does not seem to come
within any class authorized by Office prac-
tice, and it is thought by the adjacent
property owners, with apparent good rea-
son, that 1t would injure their property"