The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-04-03
Far East War Must Have Some Head
quarters For "Grapevines.
kansas City Journal)


Firing has been heard in the ofFing."
quoted the night telegraph editor,
reading from a cable message just re-
ceived from the far east. Then the
reporter ION the dOgg'' Interrupted him
by asking:
rs that from Mole St. Nicnolas?"
Now, don't be facetious.' was the
reply. There isn't any Mole St. Mich
olas in the far east"
"Oh, / beg pardon. It sounded so
much like those reports we used 10 get
in the Spanish war when every few
hours firing was heard in the offing.'
from Mole St. Nicholas. Do YOU re-
member how we used TO lay awake
nights wondering where the Mole was
and what would happen next in the
'Offing' and how nothing ever took
place there but firing? Say. those We're
the days when 'grapevines' came III
every hour and any old fake went
It'll be the same now, I'm afraid
sighed the weary man with the shears.
as he cut up another sheet OF "fiimsy."
"Only I don't know where the grape
vines will come from yet. It's too early
in the game.
The dog watch" man was interest
ed. He got an atlas and began going
over the points Of the threatened war.
Finally he said:
Look here, now" ne pointed. as the
telegraph man laid aside his paste pot
and brush. Here is Yokohama, but
that is the wrong side of Japan TO do
US any good. You couldn't hear firing
in the Ofhng from over there That's
not the Mole. TOkiO-Wsli that's the
Jap capital and II might do. but it's
inland, and that firing in the ofing
stunt must be done near salt water.
What's the matter with Nagasaki2"
The man of the wire looked TO where
the finger pointed
NO good he said. It's on Japan
csc territory. and the Mole must be
neutral Besides, it's too far from Port
Arthur"
Say; wouldn't Port Arthur do?''
NO: it's Russian. and they don't al
low uncensored messages TO go out
Besides. thereu be fighting there and
Wen get the real stuff Look again
The cub did.
after a bit. But I'm afraid there'H be
scrapping too close there to make 1t
definite enough. Now, Will has about
the right sOund"-
That's better. isn't it? But isn't
that in Manchuria %
Yes; that cuts 1t out. All"
The night telegraph man drew long
breath and drew on his pipe.
Yes. there's the Mole OF the far
east"
His finger pointed to Weihaiwei.
Gee. but you're a wise one" said
the cub. in envy.
That's the Mole" said the telegraph
man. quietly. It's ideal for il. too. Its
in China. which is neutral territory.
It's right across the bay from Port Ar
thur so the firing in the offing' can be
heard easily. It's unpronounceable and
almost unspellable. and no one knows
much about it. It's near where the
allies fought when they advanced upon
/ Tien- Tsin, and even the Chinks learned
/ to fake then. 50 there will be no need
of skilled labor importations; the cool
les can do the work while the CORE
| spondents smoke dope and dream 1t
faces the yellow sea- and news won
have TO be colOred; it'll already be yell
/ low enough. on, it's great. / tell YOU;
/ lust the place we want It's the Mole
| st. Nicholas of the far east for sure
And then he had the cub write the
/ first grapevine from WelhaiWei. the
} Mole St. Nicholas of the far east
Heavy firing is heard in the otnrS.
1t is reported eleven japanese men-of-
war have been sung by single shot
from the Retzivan, and that Admiral
/ Alzeffiiski has telegraphed the czar
! that he needn't pray. for the victory
! has been won. Admiral Ping-Pong has
committed hari-kari because he had 10
raise the moon flag upside down. De-
tails later