The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-20
THE NONPAREIL NAN


Uncle ElIery Sells His Wheat for 81 Dur
Ina the Excitement of Yesterday and
Gets the Reputation with Aunt Mirandy
of Being another One of Them Air
capns of Industry'-Unce Was Salts
fled with the Price and Did Not Care
to Hold for the Last Cent.
Uncle Ellery came in from the country
yesterday all smiles and watched the
wheat gentlemen push the ball across the
dollar line. AS the loud yell Of joy and
pain arose from the pit, Uncle remarked:
oval, by hen She's there at last!
told you so! They kin have my wheat
now to play with if they want to. A
dollar suits Uncle Ellery well enough, and
he amt going to hold for the last cent.
told my broker last fall to let my
bunch go at 81 and not mill less. He
gave me the laugh then; but you see
that little thin cuss down there with
suggestion of whisker hollering and wag-
ging his claw at the pit? That's him, an
I expect he's working off my cereal now.
told him to sell every pint of her. She
may go to $1.10 or $1.25, but your uncle
don't care. He takes his stuff and its
him back to his freside with good
bunch Of green goods that will make Mi
randy think that her life pardner is a
Napoleon Of fy-nance and capn Of in
dustry rolled into one, by gostamlty!
Tain't often we pertater diggers git a
dollar for our wheat, and when we DO we
ought to celebrate. Say, come over and
have a scent cigar an I'll stand for it.
Dollar wheat! What do you think OF
that! There's only one thing" said Uncle
Ellery more soberly, that mars my joy
I could wish that Charlie Pilsbury was
here for about fifteen minutes to hear the
gang holler once more"
last evening Uncle Ellery left his wad
with the hotel clerk and went to the the
ater All he wants now is to make
good boss trade and get home.
The farmers of the United States now
have in stock s217, 532, 1872 worth of mule
and are well prepared for good, cheer1ul
European complications.
Shirley G. Hulse, Jun. Am. Soc. {. T.,
Asst. Engr. in Charge of Cons, y. l.. d
p Co., has written a letter to the En-
gineering News in which he tells how to
thaw dynamite. The editor Of the News
also explains that where dynamite has
been thawed by plunging the sticks into
hot water the danger is great, for many
| explosions have occurred, due, undouDt-
| eddy, to the leaking out OF the nitro
glycerin and it's accumulation at the Dot
tom Of the bucket. There are various
| simple ways of thawing the stuff. but
while il is going on we prefer to go
| around the block and look at the archl-
lecture in the next street.
James H. Campbell Of New York found
a horseshoe in the street and put 1t IN
| his pocket Within twenty minutes he
was occupying cot No. IS in the hospital
as the result Of bad fall. When he
| came to he had the nurse throw the horse
/ shoe away.
! Rev. DR.. w. Fl. Garth, rector of st.
Bartholomew Episcopal church. Manga
tuck, Conn, was not pleased with the SIZE 11
of his congregation. But, instead OF scoid-
ing he "billed the town" and inserted
, half-page advertisements in the newspa-
pers These announced that there would
t be services at st. Bartholomew on Sun
day, and told what the attractions We're
Nearly the whole town turned out ano
people had to be turned away from the
t church doors. Now the old reliables who
always went to church are mad because
r they say the proprieties were violated.
Only nine weeks more OF winter.
e On March 1, says the coal man. 1t i
r half of your wood and half of your coal
e students in Paris a writer says that 'th
e light Of nature evidently leads young Jap
. whittier they ought to go. In my chnd
9 hood 1 heard that the arch enemy OF man
i kind took care not to tempt Un1tarlans
e because he wanted to use them as deco
q ducks to draw true believers to perditIor
II I suppose that he uses the Japanese WI
= study in the Quarter Latin for the sam
- purpose, as they seem under no tempta
/ ton to commit those gross sins to Whlc
. | youth Of their age are Inclined. Like III
chick. they came into the world with tn
y science of life and only need technical In
q struction.'' In other words, the Japs ar
7. too bright to wish to make monumenta
donkeys of themselves.
70 Doc Bixby, who is an authority on med
- ical subjects, disagrees with the physl
% clans who had charge of the Hanna case
- lie says cit is perfectly safe to say tina
the life of typhoid patient never was an
:, never will be saved by whisky. In cas-
- of vital exhaustiOn--a sinking spell
~ whisky may hasten the reaction but
:, does so at the expense of the patient
:. vitality and lessons the chances of ult1
~ mate recovery Alcoholic stimulate
y weakens the heart of a well man; 1t ca
do no less for one who is sick. Whlsk
renders any kind of Authorization indigest
. ible and innutritious, yet many doctor
. persist in giving whisky and milk to ty
- phoid patients, thereby Irritating tn
stomach and giving the patient neithe
strength nor comfort. Those who recove
do so in spite of such treatment and nc
~ by reason of it. for nothing could be MOI
:. absolutely unscientific. 1t would be foo
= ish to say that Senator Hanna should haV
:. been alive and convalescent at this tim'
- but we can't help wondering what mgf
(. have come to pass had he been in a quie
ie place, under the care of some sturdy oil
; country doctor who would have been les
y lavish in the use of stimulantS and nal
~ cotics and not belhent on giving hin
rs nourishment when his stomach rejecte
; it,"
= With all due respect to anybody i
" charge of a sick man, and who is,
course doing the best he knows it a
ways seemed to us that forcing noun
ie ishment" on a patient when it was Offer
70 sive to him was worse than wasted e
fort A sick dog crawls under the bar
gu where you can't get at him and sleeps
es aee ,,a;+s for ,atura RI do the work r,
- if the dog doctor got after him and force
Il him to eat one small bone per hour wit
ne tablespoonful Of whisky and milk force
&C down his throat between times, seems
us the dog would get sicker instead
better We would. "A. j. r.
, i MADE PREMIER "DREss CORRECTLY
ta The Hungarian journals are maki1
No merry at the expense of Count lisa Il
lie premier, who, atho a liberal, is not fr'