Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-04-21

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! Tom ca Gallo. Of Graft

NpAr EN- "
Professor Tapney-Bohemian.

$500 ~ $500 - 49, "
they cannot ever take life as the seri-
GUS thing it is supposed to be.
Such a man was Prof Daniel Tap
ney, naturalist, taxidermist, and sew.
glad TO enumerate at the least oppor-
trnity. In person small and slight.
his physical weakness was made up
for by an enormous head-bald for the
most part and with a protuberant fore
head-a head so out of proportion to
his body that he had bee compared,
~disgracefully enough, to an o%vergrown
gnome. That the head contained
something was obvious from the fact
that the professor. in a startlingly
erratic fashion. was really a very clev-
er man; You would have known that If
you had talked TO him for but five min
utes.
AT an early period in his career the
professor had %espoused a lady with
whose charms he had been smitten;
and. on the principle that like mates
with unlike, and positive with mega
tive, IL must be confessed that Mrs.
.Tapney was a large lady, given to
laziness and stoutness, and as slow
and easy-going in disposition as her
husband was alert and lively. Prob
ably with the belief that at some pc.
riod of her career she would develop
into a beauty which should ft a beau
tiful name. her parents had endowed
her with that OF Diana; and the pro
fessor-worthy man!-fully believed
that she deserved il. The result of
their union had been a son. who, hav-
ing no particular character of his own
wavered. as il were, between that OF
his father and that of his mother and
was Notwithstanding up his mind to
be furiously energetic one moment,
and lolIing through life. as his mother
did, the next. And for no known Ca
son. and to his own infinite disgust
as years went on. they had named
this son Absalom.
In more prosperous days Prof. Tap
ney had had a small naturalist's shop
IN the neighborhood OF the London
Docks, and had seemingly prospered
for a time. But as he found that
genial saiiormen from abroad brought
him all sorts of curiosities and re-
quested him to buy them, and eve
by any chance wanted to buy anything
on their own account; and as mothers
- on(ln~, a-A xytrrac 80 tho 0anna
brought him parrots and other things
that had apparently pinned for their
late owners and died, requesting him
vo stuA them and never by any chance
called for them or paid for them, the
business was not a success financial
ly.
The professor had no real right to
his title: but he excused its adoption
by saying that 1t was better for busl-
ness, and that in the course of the
year he really professed a great deal.
At the time the professor touches
our story matters had reached a crisis
with him. Finding II utterly impossl-
BILE TO sell anything, or to meet GER
tain pressing demands for rent and
taxes and other necessary things. the
professor had hastily collected such
personal articles as were the portable
property of himself, his wife and their
son-and had decamped. Sanguine
as ever that he was on the very eve
OF making his fortune, the professor
had cast q longing eye beyond his ma
tive shores and had determined to go
abroad.
'sYou see. my dear DIANA" the pro
fessor had declared, with his head on
one side. and In his most judicial man
ner. "this Is one OF the things ought
20 have thought OF before. but, in a
busy life. have forgotten. am a nat
uralist-a ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS my
proper place Is with Nature. Doesn't
It strike you, my love, as being per-
fectly absurd that a man who deals
with birds. beasts and fishes for q
livelihood should reside near the Lon
don Docks1"
Really. Daniel. you do put things
IN such q way that there's no arguing
with you X only Absalom had half
your brains"
Anealom. Who was d tall. thin. mel
onchoIyIooking youth Of about seven-
soen. with an u~ngratided taste In COL
lars and neckties. smiled In a superior
fnahion. II can't say that it's exactly
ny fault" he said, with . gloomy
shake Of the head. "A son should al
ways take after somebody either
mother or father: I've never known
which Of you to look to. Mother lures