davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30

cheeky thing. Here vhas another quar-
ter for another cement patch Don't
speak to anybody dot l vhas in here.
If somebody asks questions, you can
say vhas asking if you had a dog to
SELL"
In q little time more another wOm-
ans comes in She vhas tall und bony,
und she vhas der homeliest womans /
ever saw. She has pair of shoes I'M
der her shawl to be fixed in her heels,
und she looks at me und says:
t"Cobbler, don't you try to come some
games on me"
mo, maam."
Because if you do / Will break
your neck in two minutes"
''Yes, ma am"
Here vhas shoes to be fixed oop,
und you can read my palm. If you
don't read it right you shall get 1t
alongside of your head"
you vhas married." / says ash
takes her hand
"VhellY'
"But you don't live happy. You vhas
Shakespearean in your feelings, While
your husband vhas only lager beer.
No sympathy vhas between you. You
vhas too highborn for him. You can
see all der beauties of summer sun
set, While he only looks for peanuts. A
change vhas coming, howefer. In a
year he Will be dead, und you Will
marry somepody to make you very,
very happy. He Will call you his an
gel, und to him you shall be ash beau
tiful ash heafen. Dot vhas ALL"
"Cobbler," she says ash she hands
me dollar, "dot vhas for der shoes,
und Will bring in six pairs more.
You vhas mans who knows his PEGS
ness, und vhas glad to meet you.''
She goes oudt, und a mans comes in,
und he goes oudt, und another WON
ans comes in, und it vhas SO all day
long. When night comes / hat work
for two weeks ahead, und When dot lit
tie tailor drops in und speak to him
he holds oop his hands und says:
by golly, Hans, but it takes fool
to get along nit der pooblic, und you
vhas der biggest one ever saww
M. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Benevolent Looking Elderly Party
Do you like children, miss?
Superior Governess-Oh, don't mind
them.
Elderly Party-No; so see:-Punch.
Not Guilty.

Look here" said the irate man who
had purchased lot, "sight unseen" in
Frogmore. the newest residence suburb.
1--WE been swindled, and I'll have the
law on you"
"What now?" asked the imperturb-
able boomer.
"There isn't house within mile Of
the lot bOught!''
"Well, who said there wasp
you, sir-you didw
"Why, my dear sir, you must be
dreaming. / said nothing Of the sort"
Didn't ask you if there were any
residences close by?''
II believe you did"
"And didn't you answer Just lotsy I"
"Yes."
"Well, don't you call that mis-
representation?
Certainly not Isn't that what you
found around there just lots ?'"-Bal-
timore American
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30

Little Flora was complaining that her
stomach felt bad.
perhaps it's because it's empty
said her mother. 1T might feel better
if you had something in it."
Not long afterward the minister
called. In reply to question as to his
health he said that he was well, but
that his head felt rather bad that day.
Perhaps it's because it's empty
spoke up Flora. 1T might feel better
if you had something in il" New York
Tribune
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
When Bessie Played
Barber With Her Friends

I'D ESSIE is the six-year-old daugl.-
- ter of Chubbs, who owns a fine
house on the eastern side Of Cen
trail park just off Millionaires' row
Bobby is the four-year-old darling al
Blubbs, who lives block away. Harry
is the curly haired gem of Hubbs. The
three families are mutual friends. The
children are sent to the park under The
charge Of one nursemaid. This es-
Unable person takes her sewing with
her and sits on a bench while the three
children wander off to play. One afte'-
noon last week the nurse espied a
friend. She dropped her scissors on a
bench and hurried off to see her. She
was gone ten minutes, according to her
own account. Meanwhile Bessie had
discovered the scissors.
Lets play barber" she said, @and
I'm the barber"
So far as Bobby and Harry are con-
cerned Bessie is usually anything she
wants to be. When the nurse return
ed she almost tainted. The six long
golden curls that had adorned Harry !
head when he entered the park were
hanging gracefully over the back Of the
bench. Bobby's brown "clubbed" hair
cut straight across the back, with a
bank in front--looked like we'll worn
feather buster.
What shall / do?" shrieked the
nurse to policeman who responded
to her screams.
He was deliberative policeman. He
calmly surveyed the wreck and then OBJ
served:
'Do? Why, take the kids home and
be thankful We didn't bring a razor
New York Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Judging From the SamnJe

A congressman who thought that one
OF the great national parties was trying
too hard to find an issue when there
was no issue in sight rebuked his OPP
ponents by telling this story:
! "A client of mine has large family,
and accordingly is rather pressed for
money. He came to me joyfully one
day, declaring that he had found oil
flowing from a spring on his land and
bringing me a sample.
1.-THE bottle he brought was one
which he had picked up in hurry
somewhere about the house. l for
warded it to an expert chemist, and
my client and waited with good
deal Of interest for his report Of the
analysis. In day or two we got this
telegram:
Find no trace Of oil. Your friend
has struck paregoric.'"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
still Others.

"Ah," said the fair widow, you have
been in some pretty tight squeezes.
haven't you, colonely'
Eyes," answered the old warrior,
putting his arm around her waist, land
I'm not the only one"
And he Immediately proved the truth
Of his assertion. Indianapolis Sun.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Ant Smile.

Il slept with Jigley last night" said
Towne, who was stopping at the crowd
ed seashore resort, land I didn't get
wink"
"Why he told me he slept like a
top" replied Browne.
'That just about expresses it. He
was forever twisting around -Phila-
delphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30

Got Some Good Out of His Course.
"Did your son play on any Of his col
lege athletic teams?"
t'No, but he was graduated with hon.
ors."
well, Of course, that's something
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Worlds BIGGEST Potts.

Antwerp, according to an official
return recently published by the de-
partment of commerce and labor at
Washington, stands third on the list
of the worlds ports, with a total tom
mage Of 16,721,011 tons. entered and
cleared. London is first, with to-
tai tonnage of 17,564,10S tons. and
New York the second port in the
world, with a total Tonnage of IT,
398.058 TONS. These figures refer to
oceon-oG, no traffic ~rlu
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Might BE of Use.

Mr.. Softie-Is there anything I can
do to prove my devotion?
Miss Beautie-Y-e-s, there is.
Name it."
when you call, bring some hand
some and entertaining gentleman with
you."-New York Weekly.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Traffic of London Bridge.

Widening London bridge from SO
feet 5 inches to 65 feet cost $4,000 a
running inch But its roadway, 50
feet wide, and its footwalks of Is
feet width on either side are worth
100000 more in increased facility for
it's enormous traffic.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30

children are not as gentle and well
bred as they used to be-"
Possibly" answered Miss Cayenne.
"But we have no right to complain.
Reading and observation convince me
that grownup people aren't either."-
Washington Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Ancient and Modern Writers.

Milton received s25 down for his
immortal Paradise Lost, said q
leading author the other day, "and to.
day the manuscript of it is considered
worth $4,000. How many OF our
modern manuscripts which are worth
s25 1000 to-day will, wonder, be worth
S25 century hence?"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Generous If Not Just.

Husband-I see that the cost of liv-
ing has gone up II per cent.
Wife Yes, I saw that, so I told the
servants thought it only fair to raise
their wages tool Brooklyn Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Running Down Hill.

First Baby-You look below par.
Second Baby-Yes. I haven't alb
sorbed an unfriendly germ for SO long
now that I'm losing all power of re-
sistance.-New York Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Thought the Moon was Broken

Little Burton, aged three. looked up at
the new moon and exclaimed, "Oh, see,
mamma, moon boke," (broke), but,
pointing to the stars, added quickly,
ooh, dare (there) the pieces. New
York Times.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30

When Gladys dear was three,
AS sweet as sweet could be,
She loved her dolls and played in ways
quite clever.
But now she's three and twenty,
With wants far more than plenty,
And hence she worships dolls now more
than ever
New York Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
The Real Reason.

Teacher-Now, who can tell me why
the Puritans came to this country?
Small Member of History Class--l
can, teacher. They came to purify
their blood. - Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
But Not Much.

did your son play on any Of his col
lege athletic teams?"
mo, but he graduated with honors."
"Well, Of course that's something."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
MONEY TO LOAN.

= Parties desiring to borrow money
Oh good real estate security and
first-class rates can secure same by
calling on me. Office in the Baxter
block with the law firm of Brown q
Brennan. CHAS. M. KLARMAN,
Off lancaster, Wis.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Proof Positive.

Simkins-My wife is a woman Of re-
markable strength of mind.
Timkins-Indeed!
Simkins-Yes. She never buys any
thing at bargain sale that she doesn't
want.-Baltinlore News.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30

Constipation, headache, backache,
feel mean, no appetite, all run
down. HOLSTERS Rocky Mountain
Tea will make you we'll and keep
you well. Money back, if it fails.
IS cents. Tea or tablet form. j.
T. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30

Barber-It's funny that you should
be bald SO young.
Victim-Yes? My brothers are the
same way.
Barber Strange! I wonder why it
is?
Victim-Well, if you won't say any
thing more about it I'll tell you. l
honestly believe it's because our hair
fell out.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
No Chance For Him.

Mrs. Torker-Tommy, you must not
interrupt me when I'm speaking.
Tommy-Then how'll / ever get a
chance to say anything?
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-07-30
Further Instruction.

LEE entered the department store
And asked that he be shown
= q The route to reach the clothing
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
ATTENDED FUNERAL.
J. c. farar Allowed To Leave House Of Cor.
rection For Waterbury.

Waterbury, Oct. IA. c. Farrar
who is serving term at the House OF
Correction for embezzling the funds of
the Waterbury National bank, came
to this village last night under escort
of prison attache to attend the fun
eral of his father, T.. d. Farrar.
Edwin ID. Farrar met death Thurs
day afternoon at about $50 O'Clock.
He was experimenting the digging OF
a ditch on Elm street where sewers
were to be placed. The ditch was
seven feet deep. Special precautions
had been given to brace the bank but
one place not completed was Embraced.
1t was under this that Mr. Fdrrar and
several Others were at work.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
FORGER KEr1P
is in JAIL
Formerly Employed by HoOsick
Falls Democrat.

A dispatch from Cleveland this
morning announces the arrest in that
city of c. G. Kemp forger who last
spring passed several forged checks
on merchants in North Adams.
In March Kemp was working in
Hoosick Falls on the Democrat. He
claimed to be manager of the concern
for time. ln some way he got access
to the check book of c. w. Brown the
proprietor, and forging his name to
several checks took them to North
Adams where he negotiated them.
Kemp also claimed to be a member
of the Elks, and in North Adams forg-
ed the name of l.. G. Wolf to "a check
for $50, which he passed on the stew
ard of the lodge of Elks in that city.
1t also comes TO light that Kemp is
wanted in Redlands, Cali, for forg-
cry. The police department of North
Adams has evidence that will assist
in his conviction as forger.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
Autumn LIN st Louis.

If anybody wants to see the fair now
is the accepted time, as the weather is
perfect in st Louis in the autumn. In
these two months of October and No
vember the attendance should make
great leaps. Travelling is easy. There
is an absence of dust and humidity.
Trains seem to run faster and cinders
do not afflict, because car windows
may be kept closed. Hotelkeepers are
reducing rates and boarding houses
give better food and beds. From the
New York Press.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15

AND SNOW
Strange Combination Encountered
by Bennington Party.

Mr. and Mrs Chas E. Galusha &C.
companied by Mrs M. B. Houghton
left here Thursday morning to visit in
Dover. They had two horse rig ex-
pecting TO make the trip % miles be-
fore noon. Just after passing Wood.
ford they encountered severe snow
storm which lasted during the entire
trip.
Mr. Galusha says that he never was
ont in a harder or more disagreeable
storm, the snow being soft, sticky and
soon melting.
In the evening after arriving at
Dover they attended party at which
sugar on snow that fell that day was
served.
The next day for breakfast they had
cucumbers served that were picked
fresh from the vines, before they were
called to the table having been pro-
tected from the cold nights this fall by
thick blankets.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
SUPREME COURT GOSSIP.
Report That h. S. Peck Of Burlington is q
Candidate For the Bench.

Montpelier, Oct. IA report is in
circulation that Hamilton S. Peck of
Burlington is an aspirant for the po-
sition now held by Judge Seneca Has
elton of Burlington on the Supreme
court bench. 1t is reported that Mr.
Peck has for many weeks conducted a
systematic canvass for the position.
Every member of the bar in the leg
islature who has been approached up
on the subject has expressed the hope
that the Legislature will not take the
Hon John w. Rowell, chief Judge of
the supreme court at his word, and
drop him from the list of the present
court. While it is conceded that
Judge Rowell is often made unable to
hold court on account of i'll health, it
is the universal expression that he is
one of the ablest chief judges the court
has had in many years.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
J. G. ekl7t DEAD
Well Known Citizen Died Friday at His Home
On North St


John G. Smith one of the well known
residents of the village died at his
late home on North street Friday
morning. He had been i'll with tuber-
culosis for some time. He was about
IS years of age had been for number
of years resident in town, the most
of the time in that section, known as
Brooklyn. He was jovial compan
ionable man, and had many friends.
He is survived bva wife, one daugh.
ter, Mrs George Chase and son, Bert.
His funeral will be held from theShirk-
shire chapel Sunday afternoon at
half past two, the Rev Frank r. Nor
ris officiating.
Several years ago Mr. Smith had an
accident and fell to the ground. Two
ribs were broken one of them pierced
the right lung and this developed into
consumption.
About the time of his death a mes
sage received announced the death in
Fort Edward, N. Y, of Phillip Smith,
father of the above John Smith
He was S4 years old and had been i'll
but short time. His funeral was
held this afternoon.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
Bennington County Certain
ly Needs One.
LIQUOR LEGISLATION
Good Templars Want Amount O
Alcohol in Patent Medicines
Known.

Montpelier, Oct Is Twelve of the
delegates to the Grand Lodge of Yer.
mont IOGT which has been in session
at Richmond came here yesterday and
called on Gov Bell at the State House.
A bill will be introduced in the
House early next week relating to the
sale OF patient medicines. 1t provides
for printed formula to be annexed to
each bottle of the medicine sold in the
state.
This bill will be the result of a re-
solution adopted by the Grand Lodge
lOGT at Richmond few days ago.
Its principal object is to show what a
large amount of alcohol these nedi-
cines contain.
The Legislative correspondent of the
Rutland Herald writes that when
Bennington county members come
back next week they will take up the
question of new court house and
jail in that county. The point in
dispute is where it shall be located
The members in the north part of the
county want it at Manchester while
those at the south end want il at
Bennington. A bill is expected to be
introduced to build the structure at
Bennington.
Gov Bell left this noon for his home
in Walden and will not be back until
Tuesday, as he is scheduled to Or
ganize Pomona grange in Pownal
Monday evening.
The condition of Rev Marcellus w.
Farnham, of Westfield, the blind chap
lain of the Senate, is more comtort-
able at Heaton hospitaT.
Both the House and Senate commit
tees agreed on Thursday afternoon to
report the bills repeating all laws
providing for bounties on noxious
animals. An effort may be made when
the bills come up for debate to save
the bouties on some but cut off hedge
hogs and few others, although there
is disposition among large part
of the members to swat every bounty,
A Boston newspaper has sounded
the Vermont Legislators on the subject
OF committing the sentence of Mrs
Rogers, the Bennington murderess,
ana announces as result of the poll
that the woman will hang. Neverthe-
less, there will be some fervid ora
tory first Randolph Herald q News.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
NORTH BENNINGTON

The funeral of Stephen W. Buckley
was held at his late home at Haynes
Corners on Wednesday afternoon, Oct
II, Rev Charles III. Peck of North
Bennington conducted the services.
The burial was at the Hinsdillville
cemetery. Mrs Bushley, and her
daughter, Mrs Henry Weeks ofSalem,
N. Y, desire to express to many
neighbors and friends their apprecia-
tion of many deeds of kindness and
sympathy.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
Will Increase Two Hundred Per Cent Inside of Ninety Days
BURNED TO DEATH.
D. l.. Nichols Finds His Daughter Lying On
Burning Rug.

When D. l.. Nichols, merchant in
Roxbury, went home a few days ago
his eyes met horrible sight. He
smelled smoke when he entered the
house and commenced an investiga-
ton. The smoke seemed to be thick
est as he approached his daughters
room and upon entering he found her
lying on the burning rug in an un-
conscious condition with the lamp
smashed. He Immediately put out the
fire and sent for physician, but his
daughter, Ada, was dead
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
TODAY'S STOCK QUOTATIONS
Selling Prices Today On New York Exchange
At Noon.

Today's quotations on the New
York stock exchange as reported at
noon by J. r. Williston & Co., of 7
Nassau street, New York city to the
Bennington Security company are as
follows,
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15

ENOR sALE-One hundred twenty-five thor
l. Ough-bred barred Plymouth Rock pullets
and cockeres. Prices rea. enable for quality of
stock. Address John Huntington, North Ben
nipgton, VT 223t5
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15

Monarch over pain. Burns, cuts,
spraius, stings Instant rslief. DR.
Thomas Electric Oil. At any drug
store
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15

EOR SALE.-The Riverside Grist NH
t. Abundant water-power. two Victor wheels
high-class machinery, stOre-houses. sheds
double dwellings, increasing trade. b. T. Henry
TOR sALE-Only with above mill property,
l. the Henry Homestead. Large dwelli' K,
beautifully located, with productive farm b.
L. Henry, North Bennington. STA
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
BUSINESS CARDS

DLACHING AND SETTING UP STOVES.
ID Promptly and. satisfac torially. Drop
card to George DAVIS, BenningtoniVt. 2i3ts
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15

UNOR sALE.-3hOrss steam engine and
II boiler in good shape. or would exchange
for hay or other farm produce. Price only 49,
Fillmore Paddock, 2ls Bradford street. 234tG
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
FOR SALE

E,OR sALE.-one bay horse. weight 1900
sound and true to work. Also q set OF
double harness almost new and new two-horse
wagon 1 4axle. rs inch tire Ia inch wide
and set OF sleighs lnesrly new, set of cable
chains 10 feet long and runner chains. Price
for all t275. Fillmore Paddock, 2ls Bradford
St, Bennington. VT. 234t6
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
Weather

air tonight and Sunday.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1904-10-15
TO r EN- r

rINO RENT-Two small tenements. Inquire
l. of Emory s. Harris.
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1904-04-28
traff freien aauf tafienb. Die beGs
feberff9e Nber mar perfect.

troft freisn 2auf tafienb. DIE bens
feberif4e Qber mar Der fiegt.
p@eriu6sn mir iest etnmal etnen
3ufdmmenbane beraus5uftnben, tpis
TIM Graees unb 9lnttportipiel. Mte
bdtte Grdulein 5blbie Mouetn tpohl
au Doctor 2epage tommen f0nnen2
geatiirlt9 pon Diion aus. 5te tpirb
benz geldbmter @robpoter. ber tbr ni9t
na4laufen tonnte, enttptf4t fetn unb
tpGre alfo sIiidlth in Darts. sSeBt
ippllen ipir mad benz 8epeggrunb for.
f4en. ra4 trgsnb etner re9t abenteuers
lt9en @aunerei, sic fagten. fis babs
ji4 eines GrduIetns entIebigen nollen.
bsr 9eipesgrunb 1T oIfo Gtferfu9t.
Grduletn Gbopron ma4te ibr bos 9ers
bes 6errn Duldurter itreitig. 9pn ieBt
on lpirb bic Sane aber f9nn i9tptes
riger, benn stptf6en ber ,3intpaitete'
unb 8oueibal sinen 3ufanlmenAdna
beraas5ufinben, 1T ni9t 10 etnfo1. obsr
bos ipirb ii9 alle8 I'm brittsn aapitet
daftldren, ST ba8 ntdbt etn prdhtta
'Ainnff1halfer Mnrnnno"
fSsortiebutta folat,)
Freie Presse fuÌˆr Texas. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1865-1945, 1904-04-28
Gtae arDke genIattpa.

Gs uerurlabte cine erpBe 9enias
tiun in 2eesnille, Sno., als W. s..
Brunn BON iener1 Orte, non Dem
man ermartete, baB er iterben piiroe,
nurh Or. Sings Neue gntoeduns
fiir Sbminolud5t aerettet murbe.
Sc fhreibt: SD litt idier unertrdat
lihe 0ualen burb Iitbma, aber
S6re @eue gntoedung berihaffte mir
iOfDrt Grleicbteruno uno iie bemirfte
balo oarauf cine uDlliee 6eilung.
Webnlid3e auren fiir ShminbIuht.
9ungenentsiinouna, Bronbitis unb
@rippe iino bdufig. sc lit Elm uns
neraleiblihea Mittel fiir aQe Solse
uno 2ungen.2eioen. Rreis so Cts.
uno $1.00. @arantiert ourh s..
9alteuer & Spbn uno u. Dreis 8
Gputbefe. 8rpbefIaiden frei!