The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-07-17
Copyright, 1904, by Mcclure. Phillips & Co.
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"Well," said Mr.. Hennessy. 9TH la
bors iv tn con-vintions ar-re at an
end"
"If that's what We call thin, they
ar-re," said Mr.. Dooley. las Hogan
says, tn Dimmycratic convintion labor
ed an brought forth a muss. TIL Ray
publican convintion labored too, like q
cash register. 1t listened to three can
ned speeches, adopted a predigested
platform, nommynated a cold storage
Vice Prisidint. give three ESPECIALLY
prepared cheers an wint home. TIL
convintion's mind was all made up FIR
it befure it met. They was little
too much make up, but who cares FIR
that? Not so, tn Dimmycratic mind.
That's a good plain, unvarnished,
freckled mind that is niver made up.
Not that us Dimmycrats haven't poll
cies. We have more thin anybody
else. TIL attic iv ivry Dimmycrat's
house is filled with oil policies that he
wanst used. policies that have faded,
or punctured a tire or broke a main
spring or been run over be a band wag-
on. I often go up an fondle me oil
policies an think iv tn days whin we
thought free thrade was so becomin
an tn income tax an tn silver ques-
ton. I've laid thin away in lavender
Hinnissy. It's no good bein' onfash'n-
able, on'y sometimes / object to tn
party wearin' tn castoff buds Nv tn
Republicans. Rather thin that I'd
see it go naked iv policies entirely FIR
awhile an thin make itsilf a suit iv
clothes that bore no tailor's tag.
but, as / tor We, a Dimmycrat has
plinty iv principles that he'll fight FIR,
on'y they niver get into a Dimmy-
cratic platform. A Dimmycrat is a
free an independent citizen who thinks
FIR himsilf-wrong. A Republican Is
rich an humble vassal who gets 9TH
ers to think FIR him-right. Ye cud
hold a Republican naytional convin-
ton in a clothes closet but we cud-
dent r-run an orderly Dimmicratic con-
vintion I'm a forty-acre lot. There's a
thousan' red-hot convintions inside iv
ivry Dimmycratic convintion. Ivry
man has some principle that he'd lay
down his life FIR but wud prefer to lay
down somebody else's life. That's why
we niver get a satisfactorily platform.
There isn't a platform in tn wurruld
wide enough f'r two good Dimmycrats
to stand on without crowdin'. So afther
we've had our fights an disturbed tn
peace thryin' to frame up something
that will permit tn gintleman firm New
York TO speak iv tn gintleman firm
Neebrasky IN tn prisince iy ladies, we
pass a resolution declarin' that TIL Ray
publican platform Is all wrong an go
out an take our dacint, complete lick
in like sogers. That is, some Nv us
who've niver held office. does. But a
man who has held Office long time
Is a Republican anyhow.
80, me boy, tn Dimmycratic convin-
ton was STRONGLY to me taste. Trouble
an n1errynint firm tn dhrop iv tn hat.
Bands playin', women screamin', fists
hyin lots of candydates, thousands Nv
platforms. Candidates, says /? Sure,
ye'd think firm tn spirit Nv tn thing
that all tn man that got tn nommyna-
ton needed to do. was to tellygraft to
tn White House to have tn bed made
up an he'd take ham an eggs FIR
breakfast in M mornin'. They was
a candidate FIRM ivry state an county.
TIL sage ~ Esoopus, tn sage Nv
Princeton, tn sage iv Pike, Sage
Hearst, Says Willums. Sage Cochran,
Sage Murphy. Sage Mike Padden, Sage
Champ Clark. Sage Roger Sullivan,
ivry sage EXCEPT Russell Sage. There
was Sage Bryan who whit around
able head an there was Sage Hill who
got Sage Bryan down an fed most iv
his wurruds, a long an ondigistible
meal. Oh. It was fine. I wish'd I'd been
there. Such enthusyasml TIL chap
lain delivered q r-ringin prayer an tn
con-vintion cheered itsilf hoarse. At
tn mintion ~ tn name Nv that grand
oil Dimmycrat who has sthud be tn
party in time Nv need always, or almost
always. or three times out Nv a posi-
BILE Ave. or sixty per cint.-I refer TO
tn sage Nv Princeton-th' cinvintion
arose as one man an cheered fr two
hours an thirty-wan minyits. If in
that lonely rethreat 10 which he had
retired to escape til heat iv battle an
tn discoords Nv polibcs that vinrable
stateman did not hear this gloryous
thribute Nv his fellow Dmmycrats It
was, Hinnissy on'y because III line
men had not quite finished tn long dis
lance telephone connectin' tn lonely
rethreat with III -vlntion hall.
Akeily enthusiastic was TIL rayciption
~ tn other sages. At tn mintion Nv
Sage olney's name, th' eon-vintion