Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1904-05-17


In the middle of the book.-Puck.
A little fellow said of all the things
he saw at the circus he liked the little
condensed horses best shetland po-
nies.)
Meeker-My wife and always set.
tie our differences by arbitration.
Bradley-Who is the arbitrator? Meek
er-My wife, of course Exchange.
Employer-You are too slow about
your work. Office Boy (cheerfully)-
Oh, well, what l don't do to-day | kin
do o-morrer.-Indianap Journal.
'She did not wish to be an old maid
and still she detestad the society OF
men, How did she manager" "Shs
married a clubman. Houston Post.
An how's yer husband the day."
asked Mrs. Rafferty, of Mrs. Muldoon.
Sure, an he's no better" replied Mrs.
Muldoon. The doctors afraid morali-
~ will set in"
Mistress-So you want me to read
this love letter to you? Maid-If you
cotton wool We can stuff in yer ears
while We read it,
Sharpe-Yes, Parker invented the
safest airship ever heard of Wheal-
ton-But it refused to fly You couldn't
go up on it. Sharpe-That's why /
say it was the safest
Here we have only been married
two days. Clarence. and you're scold-
ing me already. Il know, my dear.
but just think how long l have been
waiting for the chance"
Il see you are wearing my old en-
gagement ring" Yes; isn't itperfect-
ly lovely to be engaged to Jack 2" Yes,
indeed! He's so deliciously serious
about it. isn't heg--Detroit Free
Press.
Just Hint: Mr. Sloman-Its so
strange that we have no national flow
err. We certainly should have one
Miss Waite (significantly)-Yes
think the orange blossom would be
nice.-Exchange.
Does your wife 90 much fancy
work. Fancy work? She won't
even let a porous plaster come into tae
house without crocheting a red border
round it and running yellow ribbon
through the holes
Ascum-Some people are saying
that you made most of your money in
politics Leader-But others are say
ing | made most of my money out OF
politics. SO who are We going to be-
Observation-Disclosures Press
do you believe" she asked. that
a genius can possibly be good hus-
band% well" he modestly replied,
- would prefer not to answer that
question. But my wife ought to be
able to tell you.''-Exchange
Patience-Woman is woman's best
friend, after ALL Patrice-I guess
you're right. Patience-Certainly I'm
right. Even when she is getting mar
ried, doesn't a man give her away, and
her maid of honor stand up for her?
''AIr- Dabble." said a lawyer to a
witness in the box lat the time these
papers were executed you were Hpecu-
lating, were you not?" Yes, sir"
You were in OIL" 81 was" "And
what are you in now?" Bankruptcy"
was the solemn reply.
Fall styles for school children"
read Mrs. Hooper. THAT seems like
a great extravaganza. Just look at the
illustrations" That's all right" COM
mented Mr.. Hooper; 'our children have
all sorts Of fall styles, and most Of
them are illustrated with bumps
How is it, dear Chum. are you re-
lated to that celebrated Professor Kirk
in Halle?" Yes. but very distantlyr'
How distant?" He is my brother"
How can you call that distantly re-
lated?" "Well you see, there are ten
brothers and sisters between him and
myself"
Il suppose that Dewey VIII be ex-
pected to make little speech to admir-
Ing friends at every place that the
Olympia calls" remarked the observ-
ant boarder THAT" added the cross
eyed boarder, will make a great many
deck Grafton days this year. Pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
'Is this new combination what you
would call a trust? asked the young
woman who asks questions simply for
fear the conversation will lag. We'll"
answered Mr.. Cumrox, sit depends al
together on which side of the deal your
interests lie. If you are one of the or
ganizers it's a trust but If you're one
of the consuming public it's well-de-
veloped suspicion. Washington STAR
A Springfield school teacher received
the following note from the mother OF
one of her pupils on Monday: Dear
Miss, You writ me about whipping
sammy. l hereby give you permits
sion TO beet him up eny time it Is nee
essary to learn him lesens. He IS juste
Ike his father-you have to learn him
with n club. Pound nolege into him.
! wants him to git 1t. and don't pay no
attention to what his father says. I'll
handle him.
Baptist and a Methodist minister
were by accident dining at the same
house. As they took their seats there
was an embarrassed pause, the host
ess not knowing how to ask one min
lister to sag grace without offending
the other. The small son quickly
grasped the situation. and. half rising
in mis- chair, moved his finger rapidly
around the table reciting: "Eny,
meme miny mo, catch Niger by the
toe" He ended by pointing bis finger
AT the Baptist minister and shouting.
you're itr' The reverend gentleman
accepted the decision, and said grace,
but II lacked the usual solemnity.
Ruasia,s Railway Schools.