Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1904-08-04
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:! TALK CF TnE DAY y
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A woman III A.useotah made some
root beer. ara hottled il before it had
fermented. A few nights later there
vas popping noise in the cellar.
| Her husband. believing there were
| burglars in the house, stealthily APP
! preached the cellar door. Just as he
| pecped in there was a report and he
was hit. He then poked the muzzle
ot siX-shooter into the crack, and,
! turning the gun from side to side,
fired fusiliade of bullets into the
darkness. He was then out OF ammu-
milton, but the enemy kept firing and
he retreated upstairs, where his wife
was screaming for help. The neigh
| bors arrived and found the man soak
ed in root beer.
a friend OF the late Bisop Hunting
| ton was spending Sunday in Edin-
| turgh. and followed the crowd to the
church Of the celebrated preacher AT
| the close of the sermon he said to the
! c.ergyman: THAT was a remarkably
fine sermon" The minister puffed up
with pride, said: Thank you. thank
YOU" But said the Boston ;,an Il
have heard it before: it is one OF
Bishop Huntington's sermons. "Ah,
yes, dare say. to be sure; but Hunt
ington could never have gotten it Off
as | did" The anecdote is related by
the Congregationalist. whose only com
ment is that "for consistent and un-
| blushing plagiarism, this beats the
record"
Jones (who is broka)--I have one
| faithful friend left.
Brown (also brohe1-Whc is it?
MY pipe [ can still draw or
that Flown Topics
A new defense was sprung lately in
an English criminal trial. 1t was
plGdutu Cll DSldlI VI llC oSlS,ist>ti.t
that he had once received an electrical
shock of 1000 volts and that it haf
impaired his mind.
Customer-Why doesn't t's7t spin
ster, Miss Brown, deal at your shop
any more?
Draper-One of ;ay clerks insulted
her.
How"
"She overheard him telling some
one that she was our Oldest customer"
l-Glasgow Evening Times
| A Buffalo minister tells the follow
ing story: 1t seems that Mrs. Blanks
old maid sister was recently visiting
at the Blank home in that city. At
| dinner one Sunday afternoon little
| Mabel Blank looked up admiringly at
| the guest and innocently said: Aunt
Matilda. you're going to heaven all
| right when you die, amt you?" 81
hope so, dearie,' the aunt answered,
with her sweetest smile. But what
put that into your head? why,
the child explained, "our Sunday
school teacher told us today that the
Bible says knock and it shall be open
ed unto you, and l heard papa tell I'm
Gle Joe yesterday that you were the
greatest knocker he ever saw"
Friendly Candor-Nell-How do you
| like my new photograph?
Bell--Lovely! | should never have
known that it was you.-Somervllle
! Journal.
That is fine story from Montana
about the woman who sWore to make
a man dig mis- own grave. to XIII nun
and to cover him up in it, according TO
tho SDringfielu Republican. She told
the man she knew where some treas
IRE was buried and traced the outline
of a grave to indicate the place where
| he should Dig. Nhen ie Na' Wv
four feet. he happened to look up
and saw a pistol pointed at his head.
He managed to escape, of course, or
we shouldn't have had the stofs'
which is good one, even Tor MOI
tana.
seH,est-I want q porterhousc steak
Waiter-Gents that order porter
house steak are required to make
deposit, sir-Chicaso Tribune
4%.