Arizona republican., 1904-03-23
Lun PETTY's DANCING ALLIGATOR.
(Ry Jack B. Norman.l


 "Speakin' uv pure, unbiled luck, Lum Petty's dancin' alligator beat anything that ever chanced across my edifica-
 tion," remarked the man from Soregg | Neck, settling himself on one of the
 kegs circulated about the stove of the village store.
 A unanimous demand for the story was followed by a liberal passing of the cider jug and a. big black plug of tobacco of which the man from scragg | Neck took his share before he began to reel off his yarn.
 Long about five year ago some durn rascals spread advertisements all over the country concerning dirt cheap farms in Florida, settin' forth varyus inducements uv climate, soil an so forth The picturs looked so good an restful with their palm an orange groves that we fellers out at Scragg Neck get to sorter hankerin' after property at Silver Lake where a man didn't have to make his salt by the swet uv his brow continual like we do up our way where things don't grow for the askin' only. Bein' unwillin' to buy pig in a poke we subscribed to- gether enough money to send a man down to look at the property fore we | sold out and migrated down there. We | throwed lots about who was to go an | the lot fell to Lum Petty, the easy | goin' est feller in the states, honest as | daylight but soft as mush. We all | tried to persuade him out uv the job, but go he would-an' did.
 l He writ back in about two weeks to the effect that he'd bought a fifty acre farm for two dollars ap acre, talong a lake bordered with palms an ever -bloomin' fiowers-a jinuine para disc condenced. He was real sorry he couldn't afford to buy more, but one | hundred dollars was all his home real estate was wurth so he had to let it go at that. Well, three uv us fellers that aimed to buy adjoinin' farms went 1 down to pay Lum a visit, not that we nllsdoubted his statement but we thought the climate bein' so durn fine might a put him in sort uv a trance Gentlemen. the fust sight uv Silver Lake farm was a picture. so twas! Lum's farm run long side of the still | est lake you ever seen, bordered with trees with long strands uv moss hang in dead still from every limb. The water was splotched with bright green ooZe that had a queer warm, feverish smell that sorter made you drowsy an | pedCtluI DuI QlQn create no nankeTln , to work. Lum conducted us around his fifty acres uv fine-grained sand with wondrous pride, layin' off his plans uv crop-raisin' with more spirit than was common to him. There was | a two-roomed cabin on the place an the remains uv a ten foot we'll piled full uv sand. Lum'd hired a knock kneed mule with which he undertook to lay off his furroughs, but they run | together like water the mint the blow pulled through.
 | Blamed if I know how to stop that says Lum. without you fellers runs alongside uv the blow an drops the corn fore the ferrers closes which we done to oblige him.
 Hum was powerful tickled with his work, It's jest like they said it was he told us, very confident, 'Easys fal- | lin off a greased log. All you have | to do is to stick your seed in an wait for it to grow Well, gentlemen, we waited four weeks before ary spike uv that corn come up an when it did come it wilted right down and died. Lum concluded the climate warn't suited to corn but as twas too late to start a cane crop he tried vegetables which didn't do no better'n the corn. Then he hunted up the agent who told him he'de make a everlastin fortune in oranges, which made Lum feel all right but about that time he tux the ague real bad. He'd have chills an fever about every other day. One day the fever'de fairly bile his blood an , the next the chills would rattle his bones till he'de shake himself sore. We concluded we'de had about enough uv Silver Lake. so we set off lively after tryin to persuade Lum along with us. He said he'de stick it out till the orange crops bore. So we left him settin' out in the sun wrapped to the neck in tow sakin' an shakin' like a baby's rattle-box.
 We all wrote Lum time about but never got no answer by which we fin ally concluded that he'd give up the ghost. Just about three year after he left a stranger stepped out uv the stage at Scragg Neck postoffice, that attracted considerable attention. He was terrible thin and yaller, but dressed in the top notch uv fashion, with a big gold chain strapped across his vest front an rings on both little fingers, an a stud big my thumb. Lo an behold If 'twasn't Lum Petty MT. Lumbard Petty, he was then. He treated the crowd indiscrimnate, chucked the bartender a ten dollar bill an scorned to take the change, then he planked himself on the coun- ter, slung his legs over a chair-back an told us how he come to strike it rich. Gentlemen, it sounds like yarn but there ain't no doubt about its be- in true cause he certainly did have the hot stuff. This was the way of it. After we left him he begged or borrow