Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1904-09-12
LIES THE MA PS TELL
NOT ABOUT LocATloN, BUT IN THE
s;.$sr MATTER NAMES. :si.5S .

tNoT ABOUT LOCATION, BUT in THE
s;.%Sf MATTER oFtNAMEs. n: S.3s.5
For Instance, Greenland Isn't Green
by Any Means, Nor IL the Black
Sea Black-The German Ocean Isn't
German, and 1t Isn't an Ocean. Il n
In few places will you lind more
healthy, robust lies to the, square inch
than an average map, and this Is the
document that is daily placed in the
hands of our young. + :. x d .',z
Begin up north and take, Greenland.
Was there ever more fragrant impos-
ture than the name OF this country :?
1t isn't green and never was green and
never will be green. Here is what the
gazetteer says about this green" coun-
try: tf<~ MI NJ s'.@ n VI
1T is high and rocky and barren. 1t
is covered with eternal snow and gla-
ciers. Julyis the only month in which
there is no snow" There's picture OF
greenness for you! =. = " &,
How did it get called greene? Well,
by an inscriptions falsehood on the
part of tenth century reprobate;
called Eric the, Red Of Iceland. This
ancient shark accidentally ran against
the ice patch in question with few
other Icelanders Of his own kidney.
He cut back to Iceland and 'boomed''
1t for all he was worth. s.-r 2
He called it Greenland and to delude
the Iceland investors and general pub
lie said it was wonderful green coun-
try, which he wished them to visit:
with their families and take shares in
some mines he had discovered. Well,
some Of the deluded creatures went
They never returned to good old Ice
land any more. g., ... =, -. T. 7
20 But there are plenty of equally gross
tmpostures. Take the Black sea, for
instance. Why black? Who said 1t
was black? 1t is no more black than
1t Is pink or purple. The. ancients call
ed it the 'Euxine' (which means ''in-
hospitable'"- That was another
good old fiction. It is not at all an in
hospitable sea, for, having no tides, it
is one of the easiest to navigate. Now
and again there are big storms, just to
give the sea a realistic touch, but gen.
orally speaking it isn't black, and it
isn't inhospitable.: r., -. -,,"@' -
The Cape Of Good Hope! Good
Hope, indeed! Ask anybody who has
been round that promontory what they
think of it. The only good hope they
experience is Z good hope that they
will soon get ashore, for it is one of
the toughest and stormiest places
known to mariners. What we should
call cyclone on the North sea would
be smiled at round the cape as bit Of
breeze. The gentleman who called it
Cape. Of Good Hope was crude sort
of humorist. He made his money in
the king business, styling himself John
II. Of Portugal. His faithful subject
Diaz discovered it and told his majesty |
that he had called it the Stormy
CAPE" But the king would have none |
Of it, He said that he hoped Diaz
would find something else round the
other side next time he went to the |
cape, so he calledsit Cape of Good
Hope. 4, I. .3:# ~ < !, III ~ 4
NOV no GO aaod 90 = ,loor,at, ~. ~.
SOC ;+so,f &c ,,r.t+r D',;.roi- - : "a B. ~
. Itos+ n;eca ae a+a,. ~ ~ s 3, :, "a
tha earth ton .t;nnas 80 s al. T. ~
ocaan ~ co,,rsa 80 : /, -. -,
vae,o+at;o, ,o,,nda hoI,+ 90 ~. = !.
frea fror, monstars M. tha ~ d "a.
=, sl,a .ha 90 ,tso,s ,,as,s 81 u !, 80 ~
!. most 1.-Two, 500 $ :-5 - : ID ~ 81
.Why English channe,q y:I+,s ~ mora moro
Enplist thar rs Frannh arba1 E,r ~.
themselves don't call II Eno1;sh 81 ait
Int simnly ga Mancba -. : s '''F.0
Then vas aver move shsr,,rd IL, ], . 6. &
given r. that hit of wata,. xxyhicI5 'sa,,a
rates ENGLAND fron, Ha,,anaS = liz Ia .
the GERMAN ocaa,,3 WIZ. = ~, i, 8
There,s nothinp Carve :, !, 8
never has hoer I,,tat !. -,
Yritish a van ma mn ~ = ar,,, ~ !,
Then wbv ocean n 4, !, !, !,
MI there i r,,aca - !, 4,
hatwaon =, q. =