The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-26
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Mtke-Are you much hurried. PATTI
10 ye want a docthor? Pat-A doc.
tnor, ye fule! Afther bein' ruined
over by a trolley carr Phwat Of want
Is q lawyer.
Mrs. Casey-Sure, tn goat has ate
all av Maggie's piano music! Mr.. Ca
sey-Thank tn lard! Now, If he'd
only ate tn PLAINLY, Odd pension him
fer loife!-Puck. -.
He declares his wife made him all
that he is" "Quite likely. And l
should judge that she didn't waste
more than half an hour on the job."-
Harper's Bazaar.
At The Hague: whats that build
Ing, pa?' That, my son, is the Temple
of Peace" whats it for?" "It's a
sort Of club where nations wrangle be-
tween wars. Life:
$50 Silas was charged with having
seven wives. Was tn judge severe
en- him" awful! He discharged
him with all Of his wives waitin' fer
him in tn corridor"
He-Like all young men, have my
faults. She-Yes, but they are so in
significant that no self-respecting girl
would feel justified in marrying you to
reform you.-Illustrated Bits.
Patent Medicine Proprietor 80 Did
that chap we sent the gross Of medi.
cine to send US a testimonial? Score.
tary-Well, no; but we got cards OF
thanks from several Of his heirs
Puck.
Scripture verified: Hearing of taz
assessor who had been waylaid and
shot by robbers, Brother Dickey said
Glow truly do de Bible say, DE way
of de tax assessor is hardr "-Atlants
Constitution.
J "Why, Johnny, how much you look
J like your father!" remarked visito:
to a 4-year-old. "Yes'm," answered
Johnny, with an air Of resignation
that's what everybody says, but
can't help it."
Doctor, how can l make sure tina
the ice I use on the table is free from
germsY' "Boil it." and the good fam
lily physician at once made a two-dol
lar entry in his day-book.-Detroi
Free Press.
: miss Observation-Disclosures you no
! consent to be mistress of my estates
cannot tell you how much l low
you" "Oh, neutrality-suspicious. yo'
can give me a rough estmate-il
acres."-Life.
Her Mother-Mr. Sloman has beef
: coming to Sc you for quite Ion
while, Maude. What are his inter
tons? Do you known She-Well,
think he intends to keep ON coming
Philadelphia Press.
t young man." said Dustin Stax'
3 had to work for my money" wei
4 father" was the chilly reply, "enoug
l people in our set are throwing that u
. to me without your talking about 1t.
< Washington Star.
- IOnI-SO MISS L uA ASA ia SNON
3 eli? Did she give any reason for &c
; ing so? Jack-Yes, indeed; two Q
p them, Tom-What were they? JAG
Myself and another fellow.-Sr
i, perior CWis.) Telegram.
. Old Lady-Meat is very dear, butter
: err I can hardly afford to buy an!
Rutcher-Why not turn vegetarian
mum? Old Lady-No, indeed; wa
horn and brought up Baptist an
y I'm not going to change my religlo
y al my time of life.
- He-Do you think marriages III
% made in heaven? She-1 don't know
! parhans they are, but I'd be satishe
p with one made in-or, that ls'
4 course wasn't thinking what-ol
"a charlie, do you really mean it!-Ch
e cago Record-Herald.
d little fellow in saying his prayer
one night entreated a blessing on n
- oun+ who was dangerously III, an
oravelv concluded with these WORD
"And please, God, don't forget her a
dress She lives at 8 Blank street. c
tho third floor to the right"
Newitt-I see great Statistical
saws that considerably more than on
hnIf the worlds population is fer
mine Peppery-Ridiculous! II tn
were so how would he account for IL
Fact that "one-half the world doesr
tnov how the other half lives"
Mrs. wearie-This is the last tin
ri have a girl who can't speak Eu
Itch Husband-Why don't you SCI
hor Off Mrs. Wearie-Ive been tr
mo to for six weeks, but / can't mai
har understand what the word "di
charge" means. She thinks it meal
day off, and when l tell her she
discharged she goes out and has
good time.
The wife of an uptown doctor
GENTLY had as a visitor a child of tiV
a quaint. old-fashioned youngster. II
childs sash came united, and 81
asked her hostess to tie it. "Wh
can't YOU tie it yourself?" she w
asked. "No ma'am," answered t
,id uAnd why nOt?' "BeCau