Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-18

bricks by the dozen and scrupulously
answered all the circulars received
from green goods men by the first mail.
Il am looking for the dentist" OBJ
served the stranger.
"Y-e-s-yes; there is a dentist in
this building l believe, but sit down
minute while ask you how winter
wheat is coming on
$50 you knew was farmer"
'At first sight, and am glad to see
you. You'll be blowing in few weeks
from nowY
Eyes, I'll be blowing and dragging
and planting and going over the same
old thing once more. BY gosh, but /
wish could get into something easier!
/, thought I'd look around a little to-
day and see if there was anything do
ing. I'd like some stock in some Of
these trusts if could get hold of it."
'My dear NANNY dear man." said
the major as he rose and held out
his hand-"you have come to the
right person to put you on to big
thing. | am promoter of enter
prises. In the last five years l have
organized four trusts and foated six
teen new enterprises. At this very
instant have on hand one Of the lar
gest Of all enterprises-one that will
roll in profits and dividends by the
barrel
HAS it got a name?" asked the
stranger, whose interest seemed to be
awakened at once.
1T has. l had settled on the name
about ten minutes before you came in.
Do you know how many left handed
men there are in the wOrldY'
"a tarnashun lot Of 'em, reckon"
you are right. There are over
100000, with Asia to hear from. Do
you know why not one single one Of
these left handed men can saw, plane,
drive nail or use spade or axY
by gosh, but don't"
''Then IN tell you. It's because
all the tools and implements are made
for right handed men alone. They
begin that way and are still keeping
it up. In other words, for hundreds
Of years past the left handed men
have had no show. Even the boot
jacks Of the world are made for right
handed men. l propose to alter
things. / have organized the Univer-
sal Left Handed Manufacturing COM
pany, with cash capital of $2O,0OO,-
900, and within three months we shall
be shipping left handed wheelbarrows,
spades, pick-axes, ETC., to every part Of
the world. Within twelve months the
left handed men will be working away
at all trades and holding their own
with the right. What do you say to
that?"
by jinks, but that's an idea"
gasped the stranger. you must be
a mighty smart man to have thought
Of it. You'll just coin money in that
company"
''We certainly SHALL" blandly re-
piled the major as his heart beat high
with hope that he had hooked his fish.
'Now, then, if you were only a left
handed man
"But I am"
"You don't say? What a coinci-
dence? Could anything have happened
stranger than this?"
eyes, I've been left handed all my
life, and 1 can appreciate the change
you are going to bring about. l sup
pose all the stock has been grabbed up,
hasn't it,"
"Well, not all. There's few thou
sands left, believe, and as left hand
ed man you shall have it at par. Be
sides that, l want you to superintend
our first factory and show goods to
callers. When they see you chopping
with left handed ak there can be no
gainsaying it's utility. think I can
promise you a salary Of about $4,000
the first year. After that
Gee whiz, but you don't mean itv'
exclaimed the stranger as he danced
about.
'Every word. sir. and I think can