davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Tabloid Philosophy.

Many a man is hound foolish who
isn't ever penny wise.
The policeman who patrols a GENE
terry knows all about dead beats.
Every stage has its wings, but it
takes an angel to make them futter.
In the game of life lots of girls
would rather win a diamond than a
heart.
The funniest thing about many a
comedian is the fact that he thinks
hes funny.
1t is natural that the musicians who
play wind instruments should come
to blows.
When a man is his own worst enc
my it is up to him to make friends
with himself.
No, Maude, dear; there is no simil-
arity between a dinner coat and an
Elton jacket.
The girl who fishes for a husband
should know the difference between
-Able anda bite.-Rhiladelphia Re
cord
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
From the Seat OF War.

Major-General Murui. of the Jana H.
csc army, was wounded.
The weather turned cold suddenly
and the Russians rejoiced.
The Gar. keenly disappointed. spent
hours studying reports of the battl,.
Plevna was o~vershadowed by the
fighting attending the stormihS of Lone
Tree Hill.
Even the Japanese were too much an
palled by the awful carnaga to rejoice
over victory.
General Yamada lost tif first guns
captured By Russians dur1g the war.
1t was reported in 81 Petersburg
that Kuropatkin resumA his advance
Thirty-eight Luss.a@ guns. it is he
lieved in Toxic, have Heen captured fy
the Japanese.
Japanese estimate* put the Russian
losses in the recent 3ghting at between
10000 and 10000.
Baron Hayashi. &apan's envoy in
London. says the wa vill be continued
through the winter.
According to ads4Ees from General
Oku's headquarters Vie japanese can
tured Lamu-1'ing
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
The Newest Outdoor Sport,

Out of bicycle racing evolved the
present-day bicycle, handsome, con-
venient, light, s~erviceable and mex
pensive. Automobile racing has had
like effect, and the clumsy motor cars
of a year or two ago are replaced by
cars of greatly improved design. So
it is also with motor boats, the new
sport of "auto" boat racing already re-
ginning to show it's effects in the gen
eral Improvement of power boats. Con-
petition means segregation, and the
t%ail-enders go to the bone-yard. Herce
the humble halloween of a two-ho-Se
tender has a reserved seat at a knot
hole whenever there is anything doing
in the motor boat arena. During the
season just passed the knot-holes, have
been had worked, and not a few of the
watchers have climbed the fence and
taken a hand. For it kSs become a fad
to own an Automobile boat."-Samuel
Fl. Cook, in Field and Stream.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
What is q BabxY

A London paper offered a prize for
the best definition of a baby. The last
n Of the following took the prize:
"The bachelors horror, the mothers
treasure and the despotic tyrant Of
the most republican household"
"The morning caller, MONDAY crawl
er and midnight bawler."
"The only precious possession that
never excites envy"
"The latest edition of humanity, of
which every couple think they possess
the finest copy"
ga native of all countries, who
speaks the language of none"
"a few inches of COO and wiggle,
writhe and scream, filed with suction
and testing apparatus for milk and
automatic alarm 10 regulate supply"
ga thing we are expected to kiss
and look as if we enjoyed it."
"a little stranger with a free pass to
the hearts best affections"
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Lawless Trackless Trolley Cars.

A very remarkable Interpretation of
the use and limitation of statutory reg
ulations comes from Pennsylvania.
The Attorney General of that State
has advised the Governor not to issue
a charter to a company which proposes
to operate trackless trolley ears in
Bradford County, on the ground that
such a corporation, being neither rail
road, railway nor omnibus company,
would not come under the various laws
governing street railways He says:
IF it were attempted to subject it
to restraint of existing statute it might
be found that no statute could be ju-
diciously stretched to cover it."
If this is the case there seems to be
nothing to prevent the proposed com
pany from going ahead and operating
their trackless trolley system, regard
less trolley syestem, regardless of any
charter. There being nothing to re.
strain them, asking permission is ap.
parently superiuous.-New York Press
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Mutual Mistake.

Little Willie told his mother that a
lion was on the front porch, but when
an investigation was made, it was
found to be the Newfoundland dog
which had been newly sheared.
"Now, Willie" said his mother, you
have told a very naughty story, and
you must go up to your room and pray
for forgiveness and remain there IN
til the Lord does forgive you."
Willie promptly obeyed, but he was
gone only a few minutes before he
came tripping back.
did the Lord forgive youT" asked
his mother.
yes" was the reply, "and He said
He didn't blame me much, either,
cause when He first saw it He sorter
thought it was a lion Himself."-Col-
lier's.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Something Wrong,

"Say, something is the matter with
the horse. He won't go"
That is the message telephoned from
the st. Charles Hotel by the driver of
the Salisbury laundry wagon, who had
run into the lobby in a great hurry
and impatiently called up his office.
"Why, he's balky or something. He
stands right still and won't bulge"
Then followed a silence of a moment
or two, during which the driver must
have been told to blow into the horses
ear or twist his tail, or use some gentle
persuasive plan like that. He left the
lobby in a determined mood. Soon he
came back and called up his office
again.
"Say, that horse started all right.
Yes, it worked fine. He's going yet.
1 don't know where he is now, prob
ably down in Bay View. The laundry
packages are scattered all along the
alley. Send some one to help me pick
them up, and some one else to chase
the Observation-Disclosures Wisconsin.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Personal Mention.

DR.. Juan 4. Navarro. Mexican Con
sul-General ut New York, died at his
home there q few days ago.
Max Darenski, aged eight years, has
won the London Academy Of Music
medal for pianoforte playing.
DR.. Chrysander. formerly the private
secretary of Bismarck. is now Il patient
in a lunatic asylum at Hamburg.
DR.. f. &. d'Erf Browne. explorer III
the Orient for the British Natural His.
tory Society, has been visiting the St
Louis Fair.
George Frederick Watts. the greaI
English artist. died recently in London
1t is proposed to honor the late Mayo,
McI.ane. of Baltimore. by naming 4
street in that city McL.ane Place.
f. II. Hartman. the railroad mag
nate. has begun the erection OF q srien.
did residence at Arden, near Middle.
town, \. Y.
General Booths automobile "eanl
paign" from lands Ind. England. te
Aberdeen. Scotland. tool him over 150t
miles of road.
Another member of tile slwindlius
band of Crimeaii veterans has passct
away in I.ieutenant-C;cneral Bourke
who died in London recently
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Her Mistake.

1t is told of the witty old French ao-
be, Pere Monsabre, that on one occasion
a lady sem a message to him just as he
was entering the pulpit that she must
see him. After beating about the
bush, she came to4he point. VANITY
vas her besetting sin, and only that
morning she had yielded to the temp
,tatioH3of gazing at herself in the mn
ror I'D thinking she was very pretty
Persr Monsabre looked at her steadlls
10Y a minute, and then, IN MS SOFT
musical voice, he inquired kindly: rs
that all, my daughter?' Eyes, father,
that is all ..Then, my daughter, go in
peace. For to make a mistake IS no
sin.'-Liverpool Post.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

good things that come with power, for
| the ~half-asleep condition of the drug
ger with the certainty Of sickness and
disease ahead"
1t is a matter each individual must
| decide for himself. He a be a lead
er and semi-god If he will, or he can
| go along through life a drugged clown.
a cheap "hewer of wood or carrier of
| water"
Certain it is that while the Great
Father of US all does not seem to
"mind' if some of His children are
foolish and stupid, He seems to select
| others (perhaps those He intends for
| some special work. and allows them to
be threshed and castigated most fear
| fully by these Jewelers."
If a man tries flirting with these lev
elers awhile, and gets a few slaps as
a hint, he had better take the hint or
a good solid blow will follow.
When a man tries to live upright,
clean, thrifty, sober, AMI undrugged,
manifesting as les as he knows what
the Creator intends he should, happi-
ness, health and peace seem to come
to him. Does it pay?
This article was written to set peo-
pie thinking, to rouse the God with
in," for every highly organized man
and woman has times when they feel
a something calling from within for
them to press % the front and "be
about the Fathers business" don't
mistake it; the spark Of the Infinite
is there and it pays in every way,
health, happiness, peace, and even
worldly prosperity, to break off the
habits and strip clean for the work
cut out for us.
1t has been the business If the writ
er to provide a practical and easy way
for people to break away from the
coffee habit and be assured of a return
to health ard all of the good things
that brings, provided the abuse has
not gone too far, and lei then the
cases where the body has been rebuilt
on a basis of strength and health run
Tito the thousands.
1t is an easy and comfortable step to
stop coffee instantly by having we'll
made Postum Food Coffee served rich
and hot with good cream, for the col
or and favor is there, but none Of the
caffeine or other nerve destroying ell
ements of ordinary coffee.
On the contrary, the most powerful
rebuilding elements furnished by Ma
ture are in Postum and they quickly
set about repairing the damage. Sell
dom is it more than two days after
the change is made before the old
stomach or bowel troubles or com
plants of kidneys, heart, head or
nerves show unmistakable evidence of
getting better and ten days time
changes things wonderfully.
Literally millions of brain working
Americans to-day use Postum, having
found the value and common sense in
the change.
G. w. POST.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
women's War ORGANIZATIONS.

Eight organizations of women have
grown out of the American civil war
on the northern side, to say nothing
of those that exist in the south. Be-
sides the Woman's Relief Corps, which
is the best known of them all and is
auxiliary to the Grand Army of the
Republic, there is the Association of
Army Nurses, the Ladies' Aid Society.
auxiliary to the Sons of Veterans; the
Daughters of Veterans, composed of
daughters and granddaughter of
unions soldiers; the Woman's Veteran
Relief Union, auxiliary to the Union
Veterans Union; the Woman's Ma
tional Association, auxiliary to the
Union ex-Prisoners of War, and the
Ladies' National Association of Ma.
val Veterans
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

The man of substance was proud to
be mentioned in connection with so
high an Office, but he would not be a
candidate.
This rock" he exclaimed, pointing
to a great granite bowlder, shall fly
from its firm base as loon as mine
Here the committee of notification
withdrew, perceiving that their mis-
sion was hopeless.-Puck.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
New York Capital Punishment.

During a celebrated murder trial In
New York city two Irishmen were
among the many interested specta-
tors.
Sure the evidence will convict the
prisoner" remarked
mot only convict him, but will hang
him." returned the other.
Man alive! They don't han1e muir
derers in New York;"
"Well, what 90 they do with Fhem.'
E,I1 item with elocut'on.'
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Labor-saving Hand Organs.

Labor-saving devices have got to
the hand organs at last, says the New
York Sun. In IN of the latest, in
stead of the organ man turning the
crank, he presses a button. The music
plays on till he releases his finger. The
music is sweeter than that of other or
gans and it can be heard blocks away.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Beware of Ointments For Catarrh That
Contain Marcnrv.

as mercury will surely destroy the sense OF
smell and completely derange the whole sys-
tenn when entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles should never be used
except on prescriptions from reputable ply
sicians, as the damage they will do is ten fold
to the good you can possibly derive from
them. Halls Catarrh Cure, manufactured
by F. ]. Cheney & Co., Toledo, o., contains
no mercury, and is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces
ofthesystem. In buying Halls Catarrh Cure
be sure you get the genuine. 1t is taken In
ternally, and made in Toledo, Ohio, by z.
]. Cheney & Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists; price, 75c. per bottle.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Sultan Has Diamond r.etb.

The Sultan of Johore has been Great
ing a sensation in London, riding in a
motor car glorified with gorgeous
crests and coats of arms. He has a
wonderful set of teetn-all his own
each of the front ones having a dia-
mond set in it. encircled with gold.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

tacks of kidney dlsor'
ders which kept me in
the house for days at q
time, unable to do any
thing. What l suffered
can hardly be told
Complications set in,
the particulars oil
which 1 will be pleased
to give i'll a personal
interview to any one
who requires informa-
ton. This l can con
scientiously say, Doans
Kidney Pills caused o
general improvement
hoo1fb = They
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

brought great relief by ~lessening the
pain and correcting the action OF Inc
kidney secretions."
Doan's Kidney Pills are for sale by
all dealers. Price, so cents. Foster
Milburn Co.. Buffalo, n. Y.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
AUTOMOBILE Campaign"

General Booths automobile cana
paign" from Lands End, England, to
Aberdeen, Scotland, took him over
1900 miles of road. Everywhere he
was received with enthusiasm.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Mrs. Hayes First Letter Appeal
ing to Mrs. Pinkham for Help

MIS-. Hayes E1rSC LeCUeF Appeal
ing to Mrs. Pinkham for Helps
"DEAR MRS. PINKHAM:-Ihave been
under Boston doctors treatment fora
long time without any relief. They
tell me l have a hbroid tumor. / can-
not sit down without great pain, and
the soreness extends up my spine. /
have bearing-down pains both back
and front. My abdomen is swollen,
and 1 have had flowing spells for three
years. My appetite is not good. lean
not walk or be on my feet for any
length of time.
The symptoms of Fibroid TumoF
given in your little book accurately
describe my case, so 1 write to you for
advice. "-(Signed) Mrs. E. f. HAYES,
252 Dudley st. (Roxbury), Boston, Mass.
Mrs. Hayes Second Letter:
"DEAR Mrs. Sometime
ago l wrote to you describing my symp-
toms and asked your advice. You re-
piled, and 1 followed all your direc-
tions carefully, and to-day l am a well
woman.
"The use of Lydia r.. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound entirely ex-
PEELED the tumor and strengthened my
whole system. / can walk miles now.
Lydia r. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound is worth five dol
lars a drop. advise all women who
are af1icsed with tumors or female
trouble of any kind to give it a faithful
trial. (Signed) MRS. E. F. HAYES,
252 Dudley st. (Roxbury), Boston, Mass
$4,000 forfeit II original Ct above letters progtRg
eensineness cannot be produced
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
A Successful Asnont

NJ. Lebaudy's airship, according 10
a special cable dispatch, made n sue
cessful ascent from Moisson, France,
obeying the helm perfectly.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Panic in Madrid

Panic followed the attempt Of a vast
crowd TO view the body of the Princess
Charles of Bourbon at the palace il
Madrid, Spain, and many persons were
hurt.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

FITS permanently cured. No fits ornervous-
ness after first days use of DIR. Kline's Great
NerveRestorer ,$2trial bottleand treatise free
DR.. R. H. KLINE, Ltd, 931Arch St., Phila., Pa.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
The Colorado is Fasf

On her official speed trial the arm
ored cruiser Colorado proved to be the
fastest Of her class, making 1926
knots.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
A VOICE FROM The PULPIT.

Rev. Jacob D. Van Doren, of 81 Sixth
street, Fond Du Lac, Wis, Presby'
terrain clergyman, says: Il had at
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

The japanese ammunition is made
at Kure, where $4,000 men work ten
hours a day. n. Y.-44.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

Piso'sC urefor Consumption Is an infallible
medicine for coughs and colds.-N. w.
SAMUEL, Ocean Grove, N. j., Feb. II, 1900.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

TO Stimulate Our Sympathy.
Prince Fushima's visit to this coun-
try is believed to be due to a desire
to stimulate the waning pro-Japanese
sentiment III America.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

The manufacture of high power in
candescent lights is making progress
at Coventry.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

Russian Ambassador Hooted.
A London mob hooted the Russian
Ambassador and tried 10 smash his
carriage windows,
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

Japs Take Part of Port Arthur.
The Japanese are said to have zap
tured n position in the middle of Port
Arthur.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Cbino,s Law Not Enforced

Prince Ching has postponed the en-
forcement Of the Chinese trade mark
law, in view of many protests.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28
Ebe1Mqykrts
Wholesale Prices Oaotei in New York

The Milk Exchange price for standard
quality is &c. per quart.
RUTTER
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

G.. III. Utter For Il. /. Governor.
Lieutenant-Governor George Fl. Ut
ter was nominated for Governor of
Rhode Island by the Republicans.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

The earliest money was in the form of
animals skins.
The Penn's Grove record., 1904-10-28

NoEE.-The following article has
been widely published and is one Of
the most remarkable illustrations Of
the value of careful m~arshalling and
analysis Of facts in presenting a SUBJ
ject to the public. ssftttFa
Jewelers..
The Mission of Whisky, Tobacco and
Coffee.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1904-03-04
PEARLS OF THOUGHT.

life without toll would be without
triumph
1t makes a great difference to the
force of any sentence. whether there
be a man behind it, or no.
Every act of the man inscribes it
self in the memories of his fellows, and
in his own manners and face.
knowledge is Of two kinds We know
a subject ourselves, or we know where
to find information upon it.-Dr. john
son.
He that wrestles with us strengthens
our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our
antagonist is our elper.-Edmund
Burke.
According to the depth from which
you draw your life, such is the depth
not only of your strenuous effort, but
of your manners and presence.-Emer-
son.
Skeptics are generally ready to be-
lieve anything, provided it is only suf-
fieiently improbable; it is at matters
of fact that such people stumble. Won
Knebel.
Nature paints the best part of the
picture; carves the best part of the
statue; builds the best part of the
house; and speaks the best part of the
Grafton.
Go with mean people, and you think
life is mean. Then read Plutarch, and
the world is a proud place, peopled
with men of positive quality, with he
roes and demigods standing around US,
who will not let us sleep.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1904-03-04

works, and the iron chamber was y
sort c. protection ranging out over
the precipice. Whe~ the boards gave
way Paul would have fallen had no not
caught at a beam which had recently
been put under the protection in order
to stay 1t. He wept and laughed for
10y as he chung to his support, and
did not realize that the danger was as
great as in the iron chamber.
The sun had just risen. and 1t was a
long time before there was any sign OF
life In the town. He shouted as loud
as his strong lungs permitted, but no.
body heard him. AS the minutes
passed. This joy waned and he began to
fear that he would die, after all.
1t was a woman who saved him from
his perilous position. His fiancee had
heard, early in the morning, that the
cousins had not returned, and had de-
cided to accompany the men who start
ed out to search for them. From the
court of the castle she saw Paul cling
Ing to the beam. and rushed in to the
men who had just found Martins life
less body in the torture vault. A rope
was thrown to Paul, and willing hands
pulled him up. The living and the dead
were carried from the castle-both
the victims of the inhumanity of man
in that far-away time. the horrors of
which ought now to be forgotten
Pittsburg Dispatch.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1904-03-04
Younnster MAS came,

Bourke Cochran has pious neigh
Dor with 15-year-old son who does
not promise to be exactly "a chip OF
The old block" this little incident lead
Ing him to that conclusion: Not long
ago the father discovered to his sor
row that his boy and several others
of the neighborhoods-h q habit oil
matching nickels. The wrathful pa
rent led the erring lad to the time
honored attic where hangs a certain
strap. The boy didn't have any agree
able impression of what was to come
and, on the ground that it is only the
arst plunge that counts he called out
Say. dad! III so you heads oil
tails for two lickings or none!"-Nev
Y0rlk Tiv>os