The Savannah morning news., 1904-07-24
THE ART OF BEING A SISTER.


continued from Page TWenty-four)
, occupy a unique position with her bro
Their if she chooses. But she is
considered as an abstraction. not as a
woman. The platonic affection some
women talk so much about and
profess to long for amounts to no
more than this
There are three great essentials to
| the art of being a sister. The first is
not so much unselfishness at the power
of absolute self-effacement upon oc-
casion. The second is complete con-
| troll OF the temper with her father or
her lover or her partners, or any other
man of her acquaintance, without its
making any permanent difference;
| but she must never lose her temper
| with her brother. or what little in
tiuence she had with him will go with
it. The third essential is the tact Of
an ambassador.
A sister should not expect nothing
from a brother. unless she is prepared
to be disappointed. Above all, she
must not expect to have any influence
with him if she sets it up against that
of the woman he loves. The sister is
bound to go to the wall, and has prob
ably made an enemy into the bargain.
Brothers will confde in their sisters
If they show themselves worthy of
it.
A sister can be helpful if she Is
discreet She can make an excel
lent buffer In her brothers love af-
fairs she can act gooseberry or can
carry away the undesirable fourth
| party and district his-more likely
her-attention. In her brothers
money affairs she can be the go-be-
tween and peacemaker with the par
ents. But she needs a great deal of
tact and self-cOmmand and she
| needs to be a young woman who is
not completely absorbed in herself
or she will blunder. A touchy wom-
! an, always looking out for sights
n selfish woman who cannot give up
a single pleasure without pulling a
long face, or an undisciplined woman
who makes scenes-all these are hope
less failures as sisters, and had bet
ter give up the business.
The test usually comes when the
brother marries. A good many Sis
ters shuttle along somehow with their
unmarried brothers. and because
they are used to each other it does
not strike them that there is any
thing wrong. But when the brother
marries. and especially If he mar
ries a woman his sister does not hap
pen to like, this makeshift relation
ship breaks down The sister prob
ably deceives herself into believing
that because her brother has always
been good natured and friendly to her
she has an influence on him. POSI-
bly, she has but ii only lasts 50 long
as she agrees with him absolutely. It
is so shadowy and unsubstantial a
thing that a breath of contradiction
blows it away, and it is never recov-
cred
The wise sister advances three parts
Of the way to meet the other woman.
whether she likes her or not Nine
times out Of ten she will be received
with omen arms. Nine out of ten
brides do not come into family with
any desire save to be friendly. De-
Votion to a brother never alternated
a sister-in-law in this world. IT is the
selfshness and jealousy of the sister
masquerading as devotion which makes
the breach. And it is desperately short
sighted policy in the sister. A man
leaves his father and his mother (and
how much more his sister?) to cleave
TO his wife. SO II the sister is void
of discretion she loses her brother and
fails to gain what can be the most
delightful Of friends-a young married
woman in her own family.
II does not follow at all that a good
daughter makes a good sister. Good
daughters, from excess of dutifulness,
are often out OF sympathy with the
younger generation. But a good sister
always makes a good wife. She has
the sense Of CANA raderie which Sc
cures success in matrmony; she knows
how to be a companion and a help
meet to a man. A bad sister not only
makes bad wife. but she runs good
chance Of never being a wife at all
For If woman cannot make herself
pleasant 10 her brother she cannot
make herself alluring to other men
when she may wish TO do so.