Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-08-10

Y
Prof. Flippe-Well, | just waded
through tit wasn't very deep, you
know.-Womans Home Companion.
No Cause for Alarm.
Has any one thought
This fact to disclose:
Esopus spelled backward
Is merely SUPPOSE?
-Yonkers Statesman.
Miss Askerman-M Nuptal, the Wild
over, has been married twelve times.
Miss Hopeser-Why don't he marry
again?
Miss Askerman-Probab he is super
stitious.-Woman's Home Companion.
Thespis-When were you leading
man?
Foyer-When the company had to
walk back from Chicago and they select
ed me to show the way.-Town Topics.
Cheat.
4 horse trotted five thousand it..
And broke at that stage of the ht.,
The driver, t was plain,
Had yanked on the rein,
Being paid to let other nags BIT.
New York Times.
do you think that music is of any
practical benefit in life?"
well" answered Miss Cayenne, ''judg-
ing from the photographs Of eminent vio-
linists. it must keep the hair from falling
out "-Washington Star.
The Inqusitive Passenger-Pardon me,
but have you any children
The GriZZly-Whiskered Man-Yape, ]
have two living, two dead and one mar
ried to the landlady of a select boarding
house.-Woman's Home Companion.
Its all nonsense about a mans being
able to make a name for himself. Only .
woman can do that"
How do you make that out?'
''She can select for husband 4 man
whose name she fancies. Town Topics.
The Hero.
He sat beneath rain of shells
And didn't finch Il bit;
Twas peanut shells
That fell by speI.S
From gallery to pit.
Baltimore American.
''In some respects rats are much wiser
than human beings. They Really he
did not look it; but then, you know, you
can never tell when some people are
loaded, always gnaw 4 good thing
when they see it."-NVoman's Home
Companion.
Pleasure Before Business.
The gas man once owed mans daughter:
he came around evenings to daughter;
Keep the gas high" said Duty;
Turn it down. said his Beauty:
SO he lets business slide-and he aughter.
j. NJ. Flagg in Tomfooery.
"Whew! hasn't it been hot today?"
Awful! | was just reading Shakes
peare, and he simply made me snort
atWhat yypra Won rpa6iup2''
THAT part where he speaks Of the
winter of our discomfort. '-Philadel-
phia Ledger.
Il declare" remarked the Arctic ex-
plorer, 1T can hardly be said that you
people live on the fat of the land
That's so,'' replied the intelligent Els
mostly-whale blubber and such things"
Philadelphia Ledger.
Mrs. Delancey-Men are so apt to
jump at conclusions. Last night my hus-
band acted awfully because he imagined
he had stepped on a tack.
Mrs. Mackenzie-What was it?
Mrs. Delancey-Only hatpin.-Wom
ans Home Companion.
Friend-Tell me, Doctor, who is the
best physician in this town?
Young DIR. Smart (pompously)-I am.
Frlend-But-er, h'm.-how will you
prove it?
Young DIR. Smart Tin surprised
i? Why, | admit it!-Woman's Home
Companions
Diogenes had just been asked why he
carried around his tub
Because, he answered savagely, I'm
paying an election bet'
r orc ba L,
having TO add a lantern, in order to see
where his candidate came out.--New
York Tribune.
Squire Ito rural lad)-Now. my boy,
tell me how do you know an old partridge
from young one.
Boy-By teeth, sir.
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, boy You ought to
know better. A partridge hasn't got
any teeth
Boy-No, sir; but I have. London
Tit-Bits.
Patience-You say they quarreled?
PARTICLES; and she returned all his
gifts. And what do you suppose he did?
Patience-Can't guess
Patrice-Sent her half dozen boxes of
face powder, with a note explaining that
be thought he had taken at least that
mulch home on his coat since he first knew
her.-London Tit-Bits.
Here's where we keep the chickens"
sad Elsie's Uncle Henry, showing her
about This is the hennery."
oh! | see exclaimed the little girl.
If Uncle Rob had chickens it would be
a robbery wouldn't it?"
Considering her Uncle Rob's reputation
III the countryside, that wasn't far wrong.
Philadelphia Ledger
Mrs Greene-You had your husbands
sister al dinner last Sunday, as usual |
should think she'd be ashamed Of her
self, allowing you to slave al day Sun
day for her.
Mrs. Black-Oh, she is very conscien-
tjo1s about it. After she has eaten her
inner and is ready to go she always lee
lures me upon my disregard of the
Lords Day.-BoSton Transcript.