The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-04-09


my daughterT' Nothing but you."-
Exchange.
Many rich father has discovered
that 1t is easier to get a daughter on
his hands than to keep a son-in-law on
his feet-Philadelphia Record.
Bob-Gosh. Rob, where'd you rake
up those seedy old shoes? Rob-Why,
man. those are my patent feathers. Bob
But the patent has expired. eh7
Miss Carrye Moore-She calls him
her intended. Are they engaged2 Miss
Cutting Hintx-No. but she intends to
marry him.-St Paul Pioneer Press.
Nipped in the Bud: Actress--I have
been robbed of my jewels. Hotel Clerk
1t won't do any good; there isn't a
newspaper in the DOWNTOWN Top
les.
Il can always tell when you are go
ing to tell lie." said Gregg to Legg.
HOWE" asked Legg. II see you open
open your mouth" said Cregg.-Town
Topics.
Mabel--Why didn't you scream when
he put his arm around your Ethel
wanted to, but couldn't, and when
could | didn't want to.--Butte Inter
Mountain.
Undoubtedly: 81 see that somebody
says there Is no such thing as luck In
business" HE must be one Of the
lucky ones who have succeeded
Exchange
Effie-Silly! Dolls don't eat any
thing! Bertie-Don't, eh? Well. that
old one Of yours that l cut open was
stuffed chock full Of breakfast food
Woman's Home Companion.
"And do you think" he asked. that
men progress after deathT WELL"
she replied, III they don't 1t would al
most seem useless for some of them to
die"-Chicago Record Herald
What She Did, And what did you
do when your doctor told you you
would have to quit wearing corset
and give up sweets?' 81 sent for an
other doctor" chicago Record Herald.
Mahoole-Nixt tonne Oh pass wild
loidy Mulligan. we've got to remove yer
hat! Mulligan-And suppose Oh re.
fuse7 Mahoole-Then, bedad. we've
got to remove yer coat.-Chicago News.
Ernie-No. she isn't going to marry
Claude after all. Ida-But they say
he can quote Emerson and Browning.
Yes; but the other young man can
quote Sugar and Steel."-ChicagO
Daily News.
How He Lost Her: She--I suppose
IL pretty girl should come along you
wouldn't care anything about me any
more. He-Nonsense, Kate! What do
l care for good looks? You suit me all
right.-Exchange.
Quick Action: First Russian-You
say the fight was quickly over? Sec
ond Russian-Yes it was finished be-
fore you could say Jackopolinsky
Robinsonopolotoksky - New Orleans
Times Democrat
Really" said Mrs. Oldcastle. your
little dinner last night was quite
recherche" "Oh, DEAR" her hostess
groaned, II just knew that new cook
would make botch of it some way
Chicago Record Herald.
She-Have you ever met my two
dearest friends? They are just lovely
and so devoted. He-How long have
you known them? She-Why. I've
known Annette nearly ten days and
Margaret almost a week.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"You should strive to appeal to the
lima gination and the human interest OF
your pupils" said the principal. 81
do" answered the teacher. but 1t is
very hard to convince the boys that
Hector and Achilles were as great men
as Corbett and Jeffries."
Mamma, what would you do II that
big vase In the parlor should get brok-
emp said Tommy. II should spank
whoever did IT," said Mrs Banks. gaz-
ing serenely at her little son. "Weii.
then, you'd better begin to get up your
muscle" said Tommy, gleefully. Zoos
papa's broken It."
A weekly newspaper recently pub
lished the following in its ANSWERS
to Correspondents" column-"'We
have two apple trees In our garden
writes Ella. and In the spring they are
covered with such lovely pink and
white blossoms that pull them on for
table decorations. Now ] see that there
are no apples on the trees. DO you
think that this is likely to be because
I pulled the blossoms ONT"
In Tangle: by Jove, old chap!'
said Mr. Makinbrakes. with enthusi-
asm. "your wife must have been a
mighty handsome woman when she