Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1904-08-26

this cinpaignfr asked Old Man
Hogan, putting his feet on the rail
ing.
There's the tarr'f-f-but the tar
IF won't burn; It's made of asbetos;
and II it liver stharted to smoke
there's pIinty av Dimmycrats'd
scorch their fingers pullin' it out ay
til FIRE.
"'Tis no isshy, anyhow. IT'S
tn great national disease, says the
nimmycrats, but Twin they ar r re
wiilin' to admit that tn disease is
incurable.
/" It's tn time thried an tested
soothin' syrup av tn nations nur-
sery,' says the Republicans. TIL
infant industries cry for it; tn kind
you have always bought with tn
name blowed tn botthle an tn sig
nature Of INK. L. Samuel on ivry
label.
"All az US believe tn same things
about tn tariff anyhow. IT'S an
unjust tax an a universal blessin';
It's tn cause av tn big panic av '93
an tn big crops av 80; tits the step
father av tn criminal trusts an tn
mother in law av th' insolent labor
unions; It's the reason why tn Home
for Crippled Industrial Children
turn out SO many husky an law
defyin' monoplies, an why peace,
PROSPERITY, an predigested break.
fast food ar-r.re to be found in iyry
humble home all over this land; if
twas repealed tn pauper labor av
Europe'd invade our shores an tn
poor consumer'd buy Everything he
wanted for half what he pays for it
at the sthores.
Were all unanimous on tn tar
IF question with wan exception.
Win you put your a to til ground
an listen, that dull roar you hear in
the East, like tn sound av distant
thunder, is tn voice av Grover Cleve
land gettin' ready to daybate tn tar
'f.f question with himself in tn
sparklin' columns av tn Saturdah
Evenin' Post.
But say tt Dimmycrats, tar
ifs got to be a big boy now AN tbs
full time be had a good hair cut
emo, say the Republican 8, we
think thin long golden curls av his
ar-r-re very becomin' to him. II SO
be tbs necessary to do a litthle trim.
min to kape tn bangs out of his
eyes you'd betther lave tn job to old
Aunt Mary an her SEWN scissors
rather than turn tn litthle darlin over
TO a strange barber ar-r-rmed with
clippers an a sheet av sand paper.
9Th tariff" | say, sis no isshy at
all. It's a fact. An for the pur-
poses of the campaign tbs no more
at besht than a dispute over barber
shops.
Thin there's the trusts. On this
isshy both tn Dimmycrats an tn
Republicans stand togither with
both feet, crowdin each other har-r.d
to make more room. Ia both av TIL
national convintions tn followin'
stirrin' resolution was adopted:
1--WE denounce tn thrusts as raw
enous an savage wild beasts preyin'
on til necessities av the common
people an we pledSe onrsalpesAa an,
our partly to their destruction.
However,, says the amindmint,
was layther added in COM
mittee, we wish it to be distinctly
understood that undher no circum-
stances ar-r-rs we in favor av cruelty
to animals
IAN now, ia the cool an quiet av
these beautiful moonlight evenin's
you a hear th' gintle voices av tn
treasurers av both th' campaign com
mittees calm softly from their back
porches:
" Here Thrustyl Thrustyl Thrus-
tyl Nice little Thrustyr
CAS- a wild animal tanner TIL
treasurer av a campaign committee is
without an equal"
thin there's th' Panama Canal.
For fifty years that's been a useful,
har-r rid workin' aud entirely re-
spectacle issby. II twas nivir pos
sible to rouse thousands av cheerin'
min to outbursts av wild an tumuI-
chuse enthusiasm be talkin' about
tn canal, twas always easy to git q
reputation as a dape studint an a
solid, substantial statesman be
pointin out that 1867 1871 cubic
miles av dirt will have to be ray
moved in diggin' TIL ditch, an that,