New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-24
THE TALK Of THE DAY.

A substance called petrognite is being adopted
as material for the decks of ships. 1t is pre-
pared from sawdust mixed with certain minerals
and formed into slabs under high hydraulic press
ure. Its valuable properties that it is non
infamnabe and is not slippery when wet.
THE DEACoN's CHRISTMAS DINNER.
Why Mars Toni Did All ha5 turkey?
AK dat question Chri3'mas Day
Eff All didnt-whut vs. say?
Didn't know All raised turkeys;
Less All raised 'um off de perch?
Ter deacon OBJ de church?
"Y9' dun miss er big fat g Obj err
Low hit war er coon er postum
Err er mink-whut dat yo' say?
knows hit war er coon fer sartin
To f de %dT Drar be book
Whut dat got ter do wild me-?
"whar war An de night 10 Chris mas"
Now, Mars Tom dat sho amt right
on de day 'fo' Chris mas night!
The Spanish Cortes is about to become the scene
of a remarkable experiment in social legislation.
The Minister Of the Interior has drafted bill sb-
solutely prohibiting the selling Of tobacco cigars
or cigarettes TO any person under seventeen years
Of age The penalties vary from so 10 $780, with i'm
prisonment in exceptionally bad cases. The measure
is justified as imperative for the arrest of racial
degeneration. tuberculosis makes great ravases
among Spanish laboring youths. who, for the most
part undernourished and already enfeebled by this
and overwork aggravate matters by spending much
of their scanty wages in tobacco, generally Gig
arettes
On and Off.-Knobbs-They say poverty egged
snobbs-Yes, and the gallery egged him Off
princeton Tiger
According to a story in THE Louisville Courier
Journal" the passengers in a sleeping which
was rolling through Oklahoma not long ago-that is
,ItyIp had In thar
section Of the country before-were startled at the
announcement made by the conductor one morning
Just they were getting into their clothes in that
brief and narrow slot by courtesy termed berth
Goodnight" reared the conductor he passed
through the car Goodnight Not on your life
good night" cried three or four of the passengers
IT'S good morning for it's been bad night"
Goodnight" called the conductor in all faith, for
of a truth the name of the next station Good
night" which town is located in Logan County, on
the Cimarron River.
THE SIMPLE LIFE.
IT'S not a dainty the gods would relish
The name would never with grace embellish
The menus of high society.
But nothing get more proper action
On the hungry spot meath a feller's jeans,
Can give more comfort and satisfaction
To yearning stomach than pork and beans.
When the inner man for feed is craving
And the system is wrapped in a flame of yearn
"k he9 the the teeth in anxiety seem to burn,
How the gay glad light OF anticipation
Through a fellows optics in joy careens
When on the air of the feeding station
He shifts the odor of pork and beans!
When the purse is fiat from dearth OF DOODLE
When but dime IS reposing there,
When a fellow feels he could eat a poodle
And try to imagine 1t Belgian hare.
When a reg lar dinner, with pfc and puddn.
Is way up yonder beyond his means
One feast Is his and mighty good 'un--
mans size platter of pork and beans.
Chicago. mart OF the hog we bless you.
With wreaths OF gratitude deck your name
And Boston. in love. we'd fain caress
For the succulent truck you've given fame
No combination de culinary,
From the dainty dishes of kings and queens
Clear down 10 povertys commissary.
Can hold a candle to pork and beans
Denver Post
A college president mas exceptional opportunities
for STUDYING azincss. The following story told
by President Eliot of Harvard. should prove a val
liable addition to public knowledge of tho disease
DR. Eliot said: There once student NJ Har-
ward who think was absolutely the LATEST stu
den, ever knew. His family devotedlv at
tached IN him but he not only would not answer
thatr lattars but would not open them FINALLY,
his amt living In New York, telegraphed me ask
I'M, what WAS the matter with Bob 7 raDliad
that she had better come on herself and inyesti-
gale She called at the young mans lodgInRs and
found him sin I'm bed At Il o'clock in the rnrrn,n,
with thirteen unopened kilograms on the table
ana he enormously objected 10 getting M even
then I am informed ney eTtheless. that thar ,oune
man 10 to-day one OF the most successful LAWYERS
IN his State
Impartial-Farmer Jones-WaI al, mars one thing
l like about these pagueY aulunno"lllsts anyway
Farmer brown-What is that
trsrrner InDse rbsv don't mind gettin, I'M.
themselves any more than they do killing other
tolkI-lBrooklyn Life.