The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1904-01-08

-- FROM --
EVERYWHERE

GVNY WaENE
Dewitt Vanarsdall, who is in charge
OF Colone. Jack Chtnn's fluor spar mine
at Salt Spring, KY, tells a snake story
h q is out Of the ordinary. The mine
entry is being driven in the side of the
Cliff about fifty feet below an old shaft
sunk half a century g by miners in
quest OF silver. "A few days ago they
reached the old shaft, and there a sur
prise awaited them. The bottom of it
was covered with snakes of all kinds
vipers, m%occasins. copperheads. black
snakes and other varieties more or less
venomous. The reptiles resented the
intrusion, and 1t was only after a pretty
lively fight that they were killed. At.
first the work,nen thought that the
snakes had gathered there to hibernate,
but an investigation showed that all
had fallen into the pit and had no way
to escape. Many OF them had been
there for years. and had fed on the
quantities Of toads, rabbits and mice
that shared their misfortune Of falling
into the old shaft, but not into con-
genial company, as did the snakes.
Cyrus Townsend Brady, when in the
west as a young clergyman, met a
negro Methodist circuit preacher whose
district also covered q vast expanse Of
territory. and who. in consequence, was
able to use q sermon a long time. sc
many different communities did hG
visit on his rounds. He had gonel
about three-fourths Of the way around.
on one occasion when, coming from his
church after the service he encoun-,
tered an old negro, who, hat in hand.
approached and said:
"Dats a mighty fine rmo sab, oh
yoh's. All like it cherry time All hears
1T. Seems we cross each others track
putty off n, sab, TO today makes de
seventh best time Ahse near yo'
preach it. Aim a bit NV a preacher
myself, sab; an All wants ter say dat
when yo' gifts fru' wild dat sermon, Abs
ready ter buy it, sab. Ought ter last
stuff. Deed, sab, Ahse willin' ter glib
yo' four bits now JUS to bin tn bahgi'n
sab"
Secretary of Agriculture James Will
o has a und of dry humor, and Is
generally regarded as one Of the NOS
lovable men in the cabinet OF Presi-
dent Roosevelt. Secretary Of the
Treasury Shaw las been called the Da-
vid Harum Of the cabinet, and II the
application Is a fitting one Secretary
Wilson might be called the Bill Nye
Of the executive circle.
Shortly after he assumed charge OF
his important department MI. Wilson
made some changes in his office. Sena-
tors n congressman came to protest,
but all to no avail. because the secre-
tary felt that what he was doing a
in the interest of the public service.
Finally one of the employees whose
no rofor ha1 haor Nr1arn1 ooIIa1 ,,ror
the secretary. He said:
NJ Secretary, l am afraid that If
you dispense with any more Of our men
1t will impair the efficiency of this de-
partment. I considered 1T my duty to
say this to you and to get your views
For answer the secretary looked up
at the ceiling and said:
There was once a farmer in Iowa
who had three fat cats. His barn was
overrun with mice. One day he CAV
the three fat cats away and got one
new cat-not 80 fat. He was never
troubled with mice after that"
you people didn't accomplish much
in the way of legislation, and now I
near you are going to adjourn on Tues
day or Wednesday," said a friend of
Prince Cupid, the Hawaii delegate in
congress.
NO. we didn't legislate much, but
IA Va llS AiOo6V WE Nv ACpl1SA
Prince Kalauiauoale.
William Tubbs, the groceryman, was
sick for a few days, and Mrs. William
Tubbs, his capable helpmeet, had all
she could do to take care Of him and to
oversee matters in the grocery store
as we'll. Fortunately, the Tubbs home
was behind the grocery, and things
went on as we'll as they could under
the adverse circumstances. Between
lowering around the bedside of the sick
husband and lodging in and out Of the
grocery to assist the somewhat inef-
ficient clerk, active little Mrs. Tubbs
was forced somewhat to neglect the
kitchen; and little William Tubbs, jr.,
had to be put off with rather hasty
meals, bakers bread and other things
from the grocery.
After the third day of such picnic
living, the small boy seems to have
made up his mind that he was being
imposed upon. When bedtime anne,
and he had been duly undressed and
CARRIED in his nightgown, his mother
said:
Now, Willie, your prayers"
"No'm," said Willie, plunging quickly
into bed; n hot meals. no prayers"
Besides being a statesman, Senator
Dryden Of New Jersey is also the presi-
dent of a prominent life insurance COM
pany. The other day he received a let
ter like this:
Dear Sri am DESTROYS of taking
out a life insurance policy, and as I am
from our state I thought I would
write you directly. thinking I might
get better terms, especially as I am in
the best of health n would be an ex-
cellent risk. I have never suffered a.
days serious illness in my life. I
would be glad II you would have one Of
your agents directed to give my mat
ter personal, attention. Very truly
yours, John Smith"
The next letter the senator picked
up had been forwarded to him from the
insurance company's main office and
was along this line:
Dear Sir-Can't you get me a pen
sion? I served in the Spanish war,
contracted a fever in Cuba, and have
since suffered with weakness Of the
back and legs, shock to ervou sys-
tenn. diseases Of the stomach and di.
gestive organs, vertigo. and other all.
ments until I am a physical wreck. II
anything is dom for me 1t must come
soon. Very respectfully,
John Smith"
Mr.. Smith had made the embarrass-
ing mistake of addressing the applica-
ton for pension to the insurance Office