The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-12-26

be realized when it is known he
struggled to perfect an adding machine
and Mr.. Hoard a money box; it, how
ever, took a pair to open the way for
a collection box. and Messrs. Church
and Chapel may have had as hard
work to achieve their desire as some
workers who endeavor to put to use
such inventions in places suggested by
these inventors names. One can inn
agine Mr.. Chubb's disappointment If
his fishing reel had met with an in
reference" in the Patent Office, or the
chill Mr.. Close would have had if his
button had not closed the way for
any heterogeneous or how Mr.. Cave
would have CROPPED blindly without his
lantern. or the distress of Messrs.
Aash and Cook if their cooking range
and automatic boiler had been marked
imperative" or MIR. House if his shin
gle machine was rejected"
Mr.. Faucette, in this instance, would
not have lost his wishing machine, or
Mr.. Tubbs his pump, on the plea of
public use" or Mr.. Paine because his
dental-plugger inflicted cruelty"
when the poor man may have been
driven to it by the cruelty of his pain
If Mr.. Fillmore had such anxiety as
to the final result of his funnel-fller
that he filled a caveat," Mr.. Coffin
would have entered a disclaimer" If
the office had declared his folding bed
stead to have been suggested by his
name, Mr.. Pike would not willingly
have abandoned" his quartz crusher,
and Mr.. Bolt would have felt the need
of IAN appeal if his burglar alarm
had been thrown out.
Mr.. Furr's germ destroyer is redo
lent of sulphur, camphor and moth
balls, and Mr.. Boomers pedal for a
organ suggests THE Lost Chord"
Mr.. Morningstar was so impressed
with his name that he wished to per-
petuate it in name-plate; Mr..
Safely may have had uneasy sugges-
tions from his name to have labored
over a letter box. 1t is seldom that
the patent office has the opportunity
to be so singularly appropriate as the
well-trimmed granting of a patent to
Mr.. Christmas on his name-day, or
that every patentee has so suitable a
birthplace as Mr.. j. Bone, who halls
from Marrowhone Ill.
Messrs. Beetle, Partridge, Sparrow,
Grove, Fox and Hawks are found in
one subclass. In artificial limbs Mr..
Legran has a patent. In the subclass
of hammers are found Messrs. Ham
mer and Hammer. Mr.. Pinover has a
lace pin, Mr.. oven a bakepan clean
err, Mr.. Head a comb, Mr.. Brake
brake shoes, Mr.. Shirt a necktie, Mr..
Luck a horseshoe, Mr.. Scripture an
organ blower, Mr.. Clearwater milk
receptacle, Mr.. Cram a ballot box and
Mr.. McTammany a vote-counting ma
chine.
The patent office offers a very in
teresting study for biologists, when
the full names of some of the paten-
tees come under consideration. Sure
ly parents were singularly blind to the
FITNESS of things" when they gave
their helpless offspring such remark
able names as some signed on patents,
as Lot Person, Ferdinand Bowdow,
Isaac Breastpin and Miladore But
ton. Perhaps Adam Probola was the
first child of his misguided parents;
one can just hear Mr.. Luther Looks
mamma coaxing his infantile atten-
ton, and the cordial reception Mr..
Welcome White received on his adj
vent.
Mr.. Justus Esk had very indugent
parents, truly, and Mr.. Leon Beloud
had more encouragement to make "a
noise in the world than most chill
dren; one can imagine the earnest
wish of the mother who called her
child Aloin b. Cleer, but Mr.. Solo
mon Bobos first name must have
been given to counterfeit the effect
of the last. Mr. Homer A. Hero's
parents were no exception to the
rule Of thinking their boy was to
make his mark in the world, but
what could have been the inspiration
of Mr.. General Comback's name, or
Mr.. Preserved Fish!
There were poor crops, probably.
when Mr. Lean Fields Head was
christened. while Mr.. Abraham
Freshfields may have seen light first
in a more propitious season. but Mr..
Zebuloh Arastus Coffin seemed born
with at least one foot in the grave.
Surely Mr.. Fountain Rainwater was
one Of twins. and I'M the excitement
of double good fortune the adage.
ut never rains, but pours," was APP
propriately suggestive. How am
bilious Mr.. King Popplewell and Mr..
French Queens parents must have
been, and verify It was Lukuince
Ace High when this boy arrived.
Nowhere but i'm our own America
could such a combination of names
have been appropriate as Mr.. Amer
lea Alley and Mr.. Congressman Good
night