davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Fine Distinction.

"DoIlook like that picture?" asked the
mortified customer, examining the first
print from the negative.
II would hardly go SO far as to say
yon look like that" replied the photog-
rapaer, hesitating between his desire
not to offend patron and his regard for
truth and the artistic perfection of his
wusk. but it-er-certainly looks like
yOn. "-Chicago Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Proved Himself Countrified

Haymaker-Are my clothes out of
style?
Green-No.
Haymaker-Do I look or act like q
gawk?
Green-Certainly not.
Haymaker-Then, why do you sup
pose a confidence man should address
me as Mr.. Loon, of Jayville?
Green-I don't know. Maybe he was
on the trolley when you got up and gave
your seat to that lady.-Town Topics.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Likely.

Brown has the most voluminous vo-
cabulary I've ever heard!" declared
Jones. Hes actually swallowed the
dictionary whole!"
Mercy" cried Mira. Jones. sympa-
thetically, what an awful case of indi-
gestion he must hare had!"-Detroit
ErAa Press. S
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
THE STORY OF COAL
WE MINE MORE OF 1T THAN ANY
OTHER COUNTRY.
Pennsylvania Anthracite Supposed to
Be Valueless Until One Hundred
Years Ago-The Growth Of
Half a Century.

The United States has at last passed
every other country in the world in the
production of coal, and is to-day mining
from the ground more than 1854, OOO, 900
tons annually. The following table
shows by what a margin we lead Eng
land, our nearest competitor:
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
"When the Lights Are Low"

Gaily-Weu, old man, you must con-
gratulate me, proposed to Miss Aress
last night and she accepted me.
Doughter-I hope you will be happy.
I'm sure; but it is plunge in the dark,
you know"
Gaily-Oh, no; not in the dark; the
gas was turned down q bit, certainly;
but it wasn't in the dark.-Ally Sloper.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Quick Maturity.

She climbed the hill with me.
DID Rose A bud" was she,
And sweeter one no man has ever known!
She got there out of breath,
And nearly tired to death;
In fact, instead of bud, the Rose was blown!
m O. Times Democrat
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
She Was a Hustler.

George said the leap-year girl
who meant business, 81 love you dear
ly. Will you be my husband?"
"Why-er-this is so sudden" stam-
mered George. "G-give me time to
think"
WELL" she rejoined, as she looked
at her watch, think quick. The last
car Is due in Is minutes. st. Louis
Star.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Point Of view.

Edyth-Your friend slowboy Is quite
talker, isn't he?
Mayme-On the contrary, I have been
trying for six months to make him
speak. Chicago Daily News.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Carried Upward.

Her grandfather carried bod
And her father carried a wad,
The result of his wit and Drawn;
She's in society now
And it's perfectly scandalous how
She is said to be carrying on.
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Anxious to show II.

Hasn't young Binks become suddenly
religious? ! see him at church every
Sunday now?"
Yes; he's wearing his first silk hat. 81
CHICAGO Post
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Not Any Old One.
His Impression.
Words Her LONG suit

Yeast-Does your wife like songs
without words?
Observation-Disclosures. she doesn't
She doesn't like anything without
words..-Yonkers Statesman
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
The Fatal symptom.

'I'm getting old"
Having rheumatism"
Worse than that; I'm having rem
iniscences. Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23

Yes, my poor sister writes that she
is unhappily married. She says she
will never trust another man."
But what in the world is wrong?"
"She says she married Harold to re-
form him, and finds that he has de-
ceived her utterly-that he only ate
five cloves to lead her on, and that he
only knows two pages of Hoyle when
it comes to cardplaying." Chicago
Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23

Total net tons of 1000 pounds. .941, SS7, 112
Of this country's vast production of
coal Pennsylvania is responsible for
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Polar Bear Is Good Sailor.

The polar bear is the only wild animal
that likes trip on the water, according
to a French scientist who has studied
their behavior at sea. He is quite jolly
when aboard ship, but all other animals
violently resent such voyage and vo-
ciferously give vent to their feelings
until seasickness brings silence. The
tiger suffers most of all. He whines
pitifully, his eyes water continually and
he rubs his stomach with his terrible
paws. Horses are bad sailors and often
perish on sea voyage. Oxen are he
roic in their attempts not to give way
to sickness. Elephants do not like the
sea, but they are anenable to medical
treatment. A good remedy is bucket
full of hot water containing 3k pints of
whisky and seven ounces Of quinine.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23

Arthur Duffy, Of Georgetown uni.
versity, the holder of the worlds rec.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
A Quiet Little Game.

The signing lover led heart,
A club the villain played;
The hotel clerk diamond had,
And the sexton held a spade.
Cincinnati Enquirer,
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23

o, dear, is it going to fall down
again."
Fall down again? Why, condemn
the thing, it hasn't quit falling down
the first time et?"-Chicago Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
SPORTS AND
ATHLETICS

It is interesting to note that H. Ph1,-
lips. one of the best jockies riding on
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Nothing Nioux,

There once was a savage young Sioux.
Who went out one morning to wioux.
Y But 1t came to pass,
When he'd won the lass,
He found he had captured shrioux.
Chicago Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
A Common Mistake.

n Common Mistake.
"Sir!" exclaimed the injured party.
you stuck your umbrella into my
eye"
, "Oh, no." replied the cheerful Of
fender, you are mistaken"
Mistaken" demanded the irate
man. you idiot, know when my eye
is hurt, guess"
Doubtless" replied the cheerful
fellow, "but you don't know my UNI
brella- borrowed this one from a
friend to-day."NTit-Bits.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Horrible Brute.

What" demanded her mother, "you
haven't left your husband?"
"Yes," sobbed the wretched young
wife. 'he insulted me-insulted me
horribly"
"How? What?"
1--WE were just having a little spat,
and all of sudden he said, oh. you
women! You're all alike "-Philadel-
pflia Press.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
At It Again.

Sentimental Sue-Did you notice that
fine-looking gentleman turn and look
back after he passed me?
Tantalizing Tess-Yes. Isn't it funny
how little it takes to turn mans head:
Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Consistent.

consistent. ~
"See here!" cried the dyspeptic pa
iron, this coffee is cold"
"Sure!" replied the waiter. "Dis is
quick lunch joint. If de coffee wuz
hot you wouldn't have time to drink
t."-Philadelphia Ledger
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Percy and Lionel.

Percy ana 11oueAs
Eyes, it's pretty hard to tell just how
to name babies so their names will be
appropriate when they grow up. There
was my Uncle David. He had two sons
and he called them Percy and Lionel.
Percy is blacksmith now"
What's Lionel doing?"
Lionel? Oh, he's doing well. Runs
one of the biggest sausage factories in
st. Joe county."-Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
At the Symphony Concert.

At the symphony Concert.
He-What delicacy! What harmony!
What color! 1t is divine!
She-I am so glad you like it. think
it exquisite.
He-I could listen to it forever!
She-Why, what are you referring to?
HNThat symphony that was just
rendered, of course.
She-Oh, thought you meant that
beautiful gown in front of us.-Tit-Bits.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23

It is a record of stupendous grown un-
enualed by any other nation in the
world.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23

Miss CUSHION say us girls think of
nothing but men?
Mr.. Crustycuss-I do. Why, you
can't even laugh without saying. "he,
he, he!"-Chicago Chronicle.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23

She-What did papa say?
He-He said you were hardly old
enough to think Of marriage.
She-Humph! He's forgotten that
I'm going on six.-Chicago American.
Not Any Old One.
Yes hitch your wagon to a star,
And hitch 1t to a bright one;
But while you're hitching take good care
To hitch 1t to the right one.
Cleveland leader.
His Impression.
"of course. you believe that polygamy
is wrong" said the man who was dis
cussing the Mormon question.
My dear sir" answered Mr.. Meekton.
ut Is not only wrong. It's foolhardy."
Washington Star.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
The Customary Quest,

AAS SoSSoAa1y SuSSI.
Now comes the Joyous summer,
When people as a rule
Get warm in searching for some place
Which they think may be cool.
washington Star.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23

Softman-Ive never seen the girl yet
that I'd care to marry. but suppose
some day I'll get caught.
Miss Perte-Oh! Whoever catches
yeu will probably throw you back
again. Chicago Chronicle,
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-23
Another Wicked Parrot.

There once was young female doctor.
Whose parrot occasionally Mr..
She said: my fine-bird.
You act quite absurd
When Polly said something that Shr.
The Sphinx
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
A Pioneer
Passes Away

James Beatty, aged seventy. seven
years, pioneer citizen of the valley.
died this morning shortly after nine
O'Clock at the residence of J. NJ. Ora
ham, 727 Main street. Mr.. Beatty
had been in poor health for many
months.
The funeral will take place from
the Graham residence Sunday after
noon at two o'clock. Interment at
Orchard Mesa Cemetery.
Mr.. Beatty was we'll known in the
city and county. Four children sur
vive him, all of whom live iu this
city. They are MIS-. J. NJ. Graham,
Mrs. Nelson Hards, Mrs W. II. Mott
and Mr.. Ellsworth Beatty
Mr.. Beatty was respected old
gentleman and his death which was
somewhat unexpected will come as a
shock to many of his friends
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
Bank
OF Fruita.

The first bank of Fruita opened
its doors for business on wedne sday
Of this week. The Institution is
strongly organized, has capable
officials and the prospects for success
are very fiattering.
The bank is operated by local mar
ties. 1t is a state bank with capital
ization of SIo.O w. A. Merrill
is president, NJ. f. Chiefly. vice presi-
dent and A. A. Belts. cashier. For
several years Mr.. Belts has been the
railroad agent at Fruita and resigned
his position to engage in the banking
business.
The first days business amounted to
IS, 100 10, The total deposits for the
first day were s7.3l5.63. This is a
good showing for first days busi-
ness.
The First Bank of Fruita has very
attractive quarters in a new building.
Its establishment is another indication
of the steady and solid growth of the
prosperous little city in the lower
valley.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
Still After
The Ships.

London Dec. oth.-The Daily
Telegraph's correspondent be-
fore Port Arthur says tn at all
of the Russian battleships and
cruisers, together with the
gunboats Giliak and Fus adnik
were sunk or destroyed, and
that only five torpedo boat de-
stroyers remain intact.
Special dispatches from To-
kio and Shanghi, giving I'M
official reports, say that the
crews of all the Russian war
ships in the harbor of Port
Arthur were landed and ap-
parently no effort was mad e
to move the vessels. The
Japanese will now turn their
attention to the torpedo BIO at
destroyers, and when these
have been destroyed the guns
will be directed against the
steamers and transports in the
harbor.
Mail advices to japan de-
scribing the capture of 2o3
Metre hill, state that the Jap
anese drenched the timber
works of the trenches with
kerosene and.started a furious
fire, which was famed by
strong gale.
The Japanese advance was
very slow. They were obliged
to make roads with bags of
earth.
1t was a sudden decision to
make night attack that
brought victory to Japanese.
Nothing is known as to the
extent of the Japanese losses.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

Nervous

New York. Dec. Especial Fol
lowing yesterdays panic and quick
recovery, the Wall street market today
was decidedly nervous. But there
are evidences that the Standard Oil
crowd had come to the rescue and
they claim to have bought on the
ground floor yesterday and to have
cleared up at least four million dollars
on tho wild break.
One of the most wonderful of tho
Wall street finanoier is quoted Us say-
ing that this weeks drop in prices
was purposely brought aboot by the
msguates as an object lesson for con
Rress aud an iutimation of what
might DO expected to happon in the
security market if the Interstate com.
meroe commission were given practio-
ally unlimited authority to fix rates,
as proposed in President Roosevelts
message.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
Capital Stock, $4,000
Elects Officers.

Last night the Grand Junction
Chapter No 80. r A. NJ. held their
election of officers at meeting
which was largely attended Follow.
ing the business session a banquet
was served in the lodge rooms and
several of the members responded to
toasts. The evening was filled with
pleasure for the members of the
lodge.
The newly elected officers are as
follows: A. R. Sampliner. H. P.
E. A. Kron, King; L. NJ. Miller,
Scribe; John Mann. treasurer; viii
liam Carlyle, Secretary; p. +. Jay,
Capt. OF H.; @. H. Crawford. P. S.
G. A. Warning. Bird "; A. seegmil.
Ter, 2nd "; George Garrison. LIST V.
Frank Horuiser. Sentinel.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
TaIIada Ship
Set on Fire.

London, Dec. 0-Special-A dis
patch from the Japanese legation to
Toxic dated today says-'fThe naval
staff at Port Arthur report that on
Thursday evening the Tallada was set
OH fire and keeled to port with her
stern sunk: eleven shots hit the Gill
lax. a gunboat, The Dayan took fire
at II 80 and is still ablaze at 4 :15 D
m. The Amur transport was hit four
teen times and sunk. Many shots
greatly damaged the warehouses and
other buildings near Feiyu mountain
and the arsenel.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
Work For
A Library.

The following letter was issued
today to all teachers below the High
School:
"Grand Junction, Colo. Dec. o, 1901
Fellow Teachers
with the proceeds of the belong
Contest Fund 1t is possible to place
in each of your rooms small but
we'll selected library. 1 am confident
that judicious use of these books will
be OF lasting benefit to many of our
boys and girls.
1.-THE different volumes for the var
ious rooms have been selected with
care, and it is believed that in most
instances the subject matter is pecu-
liarly adapted to the grade in which
the books are placed.
"These books eau be used to advan-
tage in three ways:
/. The teacher may read from them
to the pupils at certain times and in
connection with certain lines of work.
For example. during a part of the
time for the opening exercises. or as
correlative work with science or with
history and legend.
2. The books may be used by the
pupils in the school room as a reward
for good conduct and good class work.
II pupil has finished his preparation
of reading or arithmetic it is better
for him to read something in which
he is interested than to stick pin in
TO his next neighbor.
3. The books at the discretion of
the teacher may be drawn by the pu-
pills from the library aud taken home
to be retained for two weeks, and, if
desiresd. renewed once only for one
week. The time may be shortened in
grades in which the number of books
is small.
''In the first grades the teachers
will probably prefer to do the most of
the readii to the pupils.
at is hoped that by using these IL
braries many boys and girls at an ear
ly age will form good habits of read
ing aud remembering, and will cilti-
waite taste for the best literature.
Most cordially yonrs,
J. II. ALLEN.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

Merger

Hayden, Dec -Speoial-w F.
Brown, traffic manager of the Colora-
do Telephone company is here in CON
ferene with @. A. Seymour. the gem
eral manager of the firm of j. W.
Hugus Co., aud the largest stock
holder in the Western Slope Tele.
phone Go.
deal is ON foot whereby the Colo
RADIO Telephone Co. may buy mp the
Western Slope company and if such
shall terminate the conference ex-
tonsive additions and repairs will be
made to the line.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

Tom Fields and wife were arrivals
in the city last night from Birming-
ham Bay. Washington. Tom Fields
is father of Mrs. Lewis who was as
saulted some few weeks ago by the
negro Delos Marsh. The old timers
in the city will we'll remember Tom
Fields. who lived here in the latter
eighties aud was known at that time
as an all round athlete and good fellow
Tom is being greeted by many old
friends who are glad to see him back
once more.
James F. Connolly, aged sixteen
years, died at his home four miles
east of the city at three O'Clock this
morning. The remains will bs ship
ped tonight on No. 6 to Crete, Neb-
raska, Undertaken Gourley prepared
the remains for burial. The deoease d
was u son of william A. Connolly
The family made their home in this
city for some time and are we'll known
here.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
You'll Have to Hurry.

The Redmen having sustained a
severe loss in the big fire are now pre-
pared to offer the public great sacri-
flee sale of ball tickets. Tickets
which have been offered for 81. 90 will
now be sold for 100 cents.
Every one must hurry to get ticket
a. they are going fast and must posi-
lively all be sold by Des. 10Th. Extra
ladies in costumes scots. Spectators
25cts.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS phyaIe!an.

DIR. Garth. witty physician of the
court OF Queen Anne, had prescribed
a nauseous dose for the great warrior
the Duke of Marlborough. When the
duke objected to following the direc-
lions the sharp-tongued Duchess
Sarah broke in by saying: I'm be
hanged II il does not cure you.
There. my lord" interposed Garth.
you had better swallow it; you will
gain either way"
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
washlna Soda AduIterated.

One of London's official analysts
has called attention to the adultera-
ton OF washing soda with Glauber's
salts, which is useless for cleansing
purposes. ut is a disgrace" he says,
that poor washerwomen should toll
fruitlessly through the use of such
materials. wasting time and money
on such frauds, without any remedy "
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

Rather a quaint idea comes from
France. where anglers are in some
waters using tiny mirror attached
to the line near the baited hook. The
idea is that the fish. seeing itself re
fiected. hastens to snatch the bait
from it's supposed rival Very sue
cessful results have been obtained
through the employment of this sim
pie device.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

In lecturlng on Personal and Do
nestle Hygiene" J. Caullie. F. r. C.
s.. stated that the healthy form of at
tire for boys was the kilt He said
that in the Scottish highlands those
children who wear kits are Invariably
strong and turn out to be fine men"
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
Trees Bent by Indians.

There still remain at Highland Park,
H.. few of the old bent trees which
once marked the Pottawattamie trail.
One theory declares they were bent
to mark the direction of Lake Michi-
gan. while another says they point
toward the mound where once burned
the council fire.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
eroad.MInded Scotch seetarIan.

A Scotch gamekeeper, a great light
in one of the kinks. was asked the
difference between the Free and the
United Free churches. Give me the
actual difference in simple form.
the inquirer requested after a long
lecture from the gamekeeper. w ell,
sir" said John, "if you want 1t plainly
It is this Wen all be saved and
they'll all be damned"
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

Expenses

Denver. Dec. Special The
state chairman of the republican and
democratic parties have filed their
statements of expenses incurred in the
campaign with the secretary of state
The republican expenses were sI4s.
900, the democratic expenses $50. 600.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

A nature-study museum established
in disused mortuary in St. Georges
in-the-East, London, contains a comb
with twenty pounds of honey, collect
ed mainly from the sugar cargoes in
the docks by a colony of 1000 bees.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

A fireman on Jersey Central loco
motive climbed down on the pilot and
knocked a man off the track when the
engine got close to him. Trespassing
on the railroad tracks must be sternly
suppressed.-Buffalo Express.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

The only people who are ever fooled
by hair dye are the ones who use it
This teaches us the difference be
tween hair dye and piety.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

There is in Ohio religious sect
whose members refuse to believe the
world is round. But that is not so
wonderful when we consider the num-
Der OF people who continue to vote for
rscs=nn and Lipcoln.-S. +. Kiser
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

The French government employs
17,14S people in its state tobacco fac
tories. Fifteen thousand seven hun
bred of these are women. There are
also ia directors. foremen and over
seers.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

A woman can forgive her husband
for being bear at home If he will
only make love to her when they are
out in company.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09
MERE OPINION.

Most people really mean cake when
they pray the Lord to give them their
daily bread.
The daily sentinel. [volume] (Grand Junction, Colo.) 1893-current, 1904-12-09

For Sale or Rent-Five room mod
ern house Apply si2 Main street.