The Savannah morning news., 1904-11-27
WORLD


I If a man falls in love with woman
| because she is the one in sight it looks
as if the only logical and safe thing
for her to do is to keep herself always
on view, and many wives subscribe to
| this faith. There are women who
I never leave their husbands for sim
| gle day, and who insist upon sharing
| all of their spouses' work and pleas
ure. They drag around the country
with their Johns when John goes off
| on a business trip; they learn to play
| golf because John likes it, though they
| hate it; they pretend an enthusiasm
for fishing, though they loathe it, in
order that their husbands may never
be out of their sight. Theirs is the
matrimonial trust spirit-to establish
such a monopoly on a man that it will
head off all competition.
It cannot be denied that there is
much to be said in support of this
view of the situation. There is moth
ing for keeping a man at home of
evenings like knowing he has to rem
der an account of himself if he is alb
sent, and the fear of his wife is the
beginning of virtue with more hus-
bands than we wot of. It's an old
proverb that when the wife's away
the husband will play, and without
doubt the man who is insistently and
consistently NildDGIOIlC0 ny Ills Mllc 10
a model of discretion. Besides this,
unsentimental as it is, after the first
romantic affection has burned itself
out domestic love is mainly a good
habit, and so long as nothing occurs
to break up the custom Of thinking his
Maria the most beautiful, and attrac-
tive, and fascinating woman in the
world, a man is liable to jog along
without finding out any better. There
Sc hnf &c r11,
wisdom in a woman keeping so close to
her husband that he never gets per-
spective on her. and sees her as she
really it.
But the great tragedy of absence.
especially between married people,
when it stretches over any consider
able period of time. are the inevitable
changes that are continually taking
place in every human character. One
either goes forward or backward in
development, and it rarely happens
that two people who are apart and in
different environments keep the same
step. If they had remained together
they would not have noticed the lit
tie changes in each other because they
would have come so gradually, but
when they meet again after a separa-
ton of year or so they cannot fail
but notice the difference in each other
of speech and manner that the wom-
an never observed before, or he may
wonder that he never saw how mar
row and provincial she was. Life las
no bitterer moment than that which
reunites many couple after long
absence, and in which they realize
that they never can be one again.
Not all of the arguments. however,
are on the side of those who contend
that IOUa n1trn G ha a rOnrGnnnilU
conducted campaign, for if love can
die of loneliness in the absence of its
beloved, it is equally susceptible to the
blighting influence of ennui, and prob
ably the deadest dead love in the world
is that which has yawned itself into
the grave. The proof of a good gen.
eral in love, as we'll as war, is the
knowing when to beat a mastery re-
treat, and many a girl has owed
good husband to discreetly withdrawing
herself at the proper moment from
the scene of action. Great an aid as
proximity is to marriage, there is al
ways the danger of it's being overdone
and leading to commonplace safety.
Many a man has failed to marry the
woman he ought to have married be-
cause he knew her too well, and has
married the woman he should not have
married because he did not know her
well enough. In courtship absence can
become an allurement of itself.
In married life there can be no gain
saying the fact that the majority of
people quarrel because they see too
much of each other. If most couples
were married only three days a week,
instead of seven, there would be few
er divorces. Any two people who stay
together continually see the same peo-
pie, read the same books, and hear
the same STORIES are bound to bore
each other in time, and the chances
are that the average family row be-
gins in a frantic and unconscious eff
fort to infuse little excitement and
interest into domestic life. Not with
out reason is the annual Summer he
gira of wives away from their hus-
bands, and the nightly stampede Of
husbands to the club away from their
wives. Except for these safety valves
the whole institution of domesticity
would be blown up.
The truth is that in absence, like
everything else, safety lies in the gold
en- mean. A little absence makes the
heart grow fonder, but too much of
1t is fatal to love. Absence should be
taken internationally, and in small and
broken doses. Dorothy Dix