The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-07-17

IF that's what We call thin, they
ar-re," said Mr.. Dooley. "As Hogan
says, tn dimmycratic convintion Ia
bored an brought forth a muss. TIL
Republican convintion labored too,
like a cash register. 1t listened to
three canned speeches, adopted
predigested platform, nommynated
cold storage vice-prisidint, give three
ESPECIALLY prepared cheers, an Wint
home. TIL convintion'S mind was all
made up FIR it befure it met They
was aslittle too much make up, but
who care fir that? Not SO, tn dim
mycratic mind. That's a good, plain,
unvarnished, freckled mind that is
niver made up. Not that us dlmmy-
Gratis haven't policies. We have more
thin anybody else. TIL attic iv ivry
dimmycrats house is filled with Of
policies that he wants used, policies
that have faded, or punctured q tire
or broke a handspring or been run
over be a band wagon. l often go up
an fondle me OF policies an think iv
tn days Whin we thought free thrade
was SO becomin' an tn income tax AN
tn silver question. I've laid thin
away in lavender, HinniSsy. tbs no
good bein' onfash'nable, Ony some
times 1 object to tn party wearin tn
castoff buds iv tn Republicans. Rath-
er thin that I'd see it go naked iv
policies entirely FIR awhile an thin
make itsilf suit iv clothes that bore
no tailor's tag.
But, as l tol we, dimmycrat has
rIinty iv principles that he'll fight f'r,
on'y they niver get into a dimmycratic
platform. a dimmycrat is free an
INDEPENDENT citizen who thinks FIR
hmsilf--wrong. A republican is a
rich an humble vassal who gets others
to think FIR him-right. Ye cud hold
q Republican naytional conyintion in
a clothes closet but We cudden't r-run
an orderly dimmycratic convintion in
forty-acre lot. There's a thousan
red-hot convintionS inside iv ivry dim
mycratic convintion. Ivry man has
scme principle that he'd lay down his
life FIR but wud prefer to lay down
somebody elses life. That's why we
niVer get satisfactory platform.
There isn't a platform in tn wurrul
wide enough FIR two good dimmycrats
to stand on without crowdin. So
afther we've had our fights an dis
turbed tn peace thryin' to frame up
something that will permit tn gintle
man firm New York to speak iv
tn gintleman firm Neebrasky in tn
prisince iv ladies, we pass IL resolution
declarin that tn Republican platform
is all wrong an go out an take our
Gacnt, complete lickin' like sogers.
That is, some iv us who've niver held
office, does. But a man who has held
office long time is republican
anyhow.
80, me boy, tn dimmycratic con-
vintion was strongly to me taste.
Throuble an merrymint firm tn
dhrop iv tn hat. Bands playin', wo-
men screamin' fists flynn, lots of can
dydates, thousands iv platforms. Can
dydates, says L? Sure, ye'd think
firm tn spirit iv tn thing that all tn
man that got tn nommynation needed
to do, was to Ntellygraft to tn White
House to have tn bed made up an
he'd take ham an eggs FIR breakfast in
tn mornin'. They was candydate
firm ivry State an county: TIL sage
iv Esopus, tn sage iv Princeton, tn
sage iv Pike, Sage Hearst, Sage Will
lums, Sage Cochran, Sage Murphy
Sage Mike Padden, Sage Champ Clark
Sage Roger Sullivan, ivry sage 2Xcipl
Russell Sage. There was Sage Bryan
who whit around takin' a kick at ivry
other sage's win 'rable head an there
was Sage Hill who got Sage Bryan
down an fed most iv his wurruds, 8
long an ondigistible meal. Oh, it was
tne. / wisht I'd been there. Such
enthusiasm: TIL chaplain delivered
Il r-ringin prayer an tn con-vintion
cheered itsilf hoarse At tn mintion iv
=
who has shtud be tn party in time iv
need always, or almost always, OF
three times out iv a possible five, OF
sixty per cint-I refer to tn sage iv
Irinceton-th' convintion arose as one
man an cheered FIR two hours an
thirty-wan minyits. If in that lonely
rethreat to which he had retired &c
scape tn heat iv battle an tn dis
CORDS iv politics that vinrable states
man did not hear this gloryous thri-
butte iv his fellow dimmycrats it was.
dinnissy, on'y because tn linemen
lad not quite finished tn long distance
rillyphone connectin' tn lonely
RETREAT with tn con-vintion hall!
Akelly enthusiastic was tn rayciption
iv tn other sageS. At tn mintion iV
Sage OIney's name, tn con-vintion
minyits. AT tn mintion iv tn name iv
Cock'ril, tn air was rent With cheers
Iastin' FIR two hours an two minyits,
mingled with cries iv 'Who?' At tn
mintion iv tn name iv Willum II.
Hearst. tn convintion cheered, as one
rayporther FIR tn Journal, FIR firm
wan half iV a Sicond to nine hours an
forty minyits, depindin' on what pa
aper We r-read. (Some pa-apers says
jeered but niver mind that.) An
hn'lly whin tn name iv tn peerless
jurist, tn great statesman, tn re-
noWned dimmycrat-a- Yes
Alton 3. Parker tn sage iv Esoapus
was sprung, tn con-vintion rose again
an again cheered as wan man. An
that man, Hinnissy, was me frind
David b. Hill.
Hinnissy, we've heerd it said that
yc can't keep a good man down. Well.
We can't keep amy kind iv a man
down if he's able at his job. TIL last
| see iv David 3. Hill was four years
ago whin he was lapin' out iv tn front
cure at Kansas City something less
than a safe an painless distance fr' m
Willum Innings Bryans congress
gaiter. TIL mex | see iv David Is. Hill,
he's gone ar-round tn back yard,
climbed over tn fince, let himsilf in
III cellar dure With a skeleton key,
climbed up tn underwater shaft an
is nailin' a pitcher in tn front window
iv n peerless di;nmycrat leader who
Will lead us on to victhry, that | nivef
heard iv befure. An where was me
frind, Willum j. Bryan all this. time
Well, no sooner had he made sure that
Hill was chased off tn premises thin
he left wurrud with tn hired men
that he wudden't be back befure
mornn' locked tn dure, cooked his
hat on tn side iv his head an wint