The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-10-22

Stranger-Do express trains stop
here? Big Hank (statlon agent)-Only
fer railway officials an tran robbers
Elk.
Il doubt if you know the difference
between grand opera and comic opera"
"Oh, but do. Grand opera is comic"
What would you suggest as a name
for my new yacht" "Why, 1t seems
to me the Floating Debt would be APP
propriate."
Evelyn-Yes, my great-grandmother
eloped with my great-grandfather.
Cholly-Just fancy Old people like
that.-Smart Set
Boy-Father. II there should be
strike Of the dog catchers in the Phil
ippines, would the Igorrotes take to
eating beef?-Ex.
mr.. Smith had hard time to get i
his daughters off his hands" Eyes,
and 1 hear he has to keep their hus
bands on their feet"
Knicker-Yes, Johnny, there is only
one way to learn, and that Is to begin
at the bottom. Johnny-How about
swimming New York Sun.
Firse Nurse-I won't be able to go
to the picnic tomorrow. Second Nurse
Why not? First Nurse-To tell the
truth, I'm afraid to leave the baby
with its mother.-Ex.
Continuous: Nell-Yes, he actually
had the impudence to kiss me. Belle
The Ideal OF course, you were in
dignanti Nell-Oh, yes. Every time.
philadelphia Ledger.
Chauffeur-You'd better be a little
careful, sir. My machine might make
your horse run. Farmer Oatmeal-Do
tell Well, it'll be the first time in
thirty years.-Chicago News.
II don't have to work for living"
said the shiftless individual. "OfI
course you don't" rejoined the busy
man; III you did It's safe bet that
you wouldn't be living. "-Chicag go
News.
I'm trying to find the idea In your
poem" said the editor of the Squint-
uary Magazine. "Oh, don't worry
about that" said the anxious young
poet; there isn't any. You can use 1t
without the slightest fear."-Chicago
Record Herald.
do you think you can cure me, doc
tori" asked the society woman. Il
think so, with the help of Providence"
replied the good physician. why not
Newport The climate there is surely
the same as that of Providence" =
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Honeymoon Ito husband in rail-
way train)-Do you love me? Old
Party (confidentially from other seat
to bridegroom)-She's asked you forty
seven times already. l get out here,
but I'll leave the score with this gen.
tleman by the window.
"Glad to meet you" said the polite
cannibal chief to the new missionary.
II shall expect to see more of you to-
morrow. We dine at high noon" "Er-
thanks, awfully. I shall be delighted
" mot at all. The pleasure will
be all mine, assure you"
1t is human to doubt. Display a
sign with the inscription Beware of
Paint" and nine men out of ten will
draw their forefngers across the newly
painted surface to see II the sign is
not merely ian invention Of the en-
envy" The ten,n man never learned
to read.
Dashaway-You say your sister will
be down In a minute, Willie? That's
good news. l thought perhaps she
wanted to be excused, as she did the
other day. Willie-Not this time.
played a trick on her. Dashaway-
What did you dol Willie-I said you
we're another fellowl-London Tit-Bits.
Wiseman-To look at that English
man you'd think he was a tramp,
wouldn't you? Jokeley-Well, l know
for a fact that he hasn't a place that
he can call home. Wiseman-Non-
sense! Why, his mansion in London
is Jokeley-Sumptuous yes; but
he calls It ome."-Catholic Standard
Times.
| hclo4 anu NNAN II RAoJ NhCA
MAZDA was overheard saying: my
mamma does not allow me to use bill
Of slang. She says 1t is coarse ano
vulgar" That's just what my nam
ma says, replied Helen. "Myl but I'd
get It right In the neck II she heard
me using slang like some little girlsP
-Lippincott's.
Teacher OF Physiology-Now we will
dissect this odd little animal. Blu
nrst, Jimmy Phallg, will you tell me
what we have here7 Jimmy-Faith
and it's called a bat. sir. Teacher
Very well. Now, how many kinds o.
bats are there? Jimmy-There are
foive. The black bat, the red bat. the
acrobat, the baseball bat, and thu
brickbat, sir.
A tourist In a remote part of Ire
! land, having stayed the night at {
vayside inn not usually frequented by
visitors, informed the landlord in thu
morning that his boots. which haC
been placed outside his room door, haC
not been touched. "Ah, shure," saiS
the landlord. "and you moight pu
your watch and chain outside you
room door in this house. and thel
wouldn't be touched. The King.
/
II