Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1904-11-22

AIER saw this letter. 1t opens
abruptly:
II killed him. am all that I
said was, and you can never
again give me thought save in the
way Of cursing and to bewail the day
I came into your life. But you cannot
hate me more than hate myself, my
wicked self, who, seeing an obstacle in
the way to happiness, stamped it out
Of existence and so forfeited all right
to happiness forever.
"1t was SO easy! Had it been hard
thing to do-had it been necessary to
lay hand on knife or lift pistol
might have realized the act and paused.
But just little spring which child's
hand could manage-who, feeling for
1t, could help pressing it, II only to
see
II was always reckless girl, mad
for pleasure and without any thought
Of consequences. When school bored
me took all my books out of my desk,
called upon my mates to do the same,
and, stacking them up into a sort Of
rostrum in field where we played,
first delivered an Grafton from them
in which reverence for my teachers
had small part, then tore them into
pieces and burned them in full sight Of
my admiring schoolfellows. was dis
missed, but not with disgrace. Teach
ers and scholars bewailed my depar-
ture, not because they liked me or be-
cause Of any good they had found in
me, but because my money had thrown
luster on them and on the whole estab-
lishment. This was when was
twelve, and it was on account Of this
reckless escapade that was sent west
and kept so long from home and all
my f1atterers. My guardian meant
well by this, but in saving me from one
pitfall he plunged me into another.
grew up without Cora and also without
any idea Of the requirements of my
position or what might anticipate
from the world when the time came
for me to enter it. I knew that had
money-so did those about me-but I
had little or no idea Of the amount nor
what that money would do for me
when returned to Washington. So.
in an evil day, and when was just
eighteen, I fell in love, or thought did.
with man (oh, Francis, imagine it.,
now that have seen YOU'D Of sufl-
cient attraction to satisfy one whose
prospects were limited to a contracted
existence in small town, but no more
fitted to content me after seeing Wash
ington life than II he had been q CON-
mon farm hand or the most ordinary
Of clerks in country store. But was
young, ignorant and self willed, and
thought because my cheek burned I'M
der his look that he was the man of
men and suited to be my husband
that is, If I thought at all, which Is
not likely, for I was in a feverish
whirl and just followed the impulse Of
the moment, which was to be with him
whenever could without attracting
the teachers attention. And this, alas,
was only too often, for he was the
brother Of one Of our storekeepers, a
visitor in Owosso, and often in the
store where we girls went.
Eve would not have been married in
the way we were If he had not wanted
to go to the Klondike for the purpose
Of making money and making it quick
", so that his means might match
mine.
II do not know which Of us two was
most to blame for that marriage. He
urged 1t because he was going SO far
away and wanted to be sure of me. !
accepted 1t because it seemed to be
romantic and because 1t pleased me to
have my own way in spite Of my hard
old guardian and the teachers, who
were always prying about, and the
girls, who went silly over him-for he
was really handsome in his way-and
who thought lat least many Of them
did) that he cared for them when he
cared only for me.
IT have hated black eyes for year.
He had black eyes.
II forgot Cora, or, rather, I did not
let any remembrance of her hinder me.
She was a very shadowy person to me
in those days. had not seen her since
we were both children. and as for her
letters-they We're almost a bore to me;
she lived such a different life from
mine and wrote of so many things /
had no interest in. On my knees ask
her pardon now. I never understood
her.
"It was all planned by him-I have
no head for such things. Sadie helped
hinn-Sadie was my friend-but Sadie
had not much to say about 1t, for he
seemed to know just how to arrange
1t all so that no one at the seminary
should know or even suspect what had
occurred till we got ready to tell them
He did not even take his brother into
his confidence, for Wallace kept store
and gossiped very much with his
customers. Besides, he was very busy
just then selling out, for he was going
to the Klondike with William, and he
had too much on his mind to be bother.
ed, or SO William said. All this must
tell you or you will never understand
the temptation which assailed me
when, having returned to Washington
awoke to my own position and the
kind of men whom could now hope
to meet. was the wife-oh, the folly
Of it-but this was known to so few
and those were so far removed, and
one even-my friend Sadie-being dead
why not ignore the miserable secret
ceremony and cheat myself into be.
lieving myself free, and enjoy this
world of pleasure and fashion as Cora