Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-09-17

St. Louis. Sept. 17.-At a great
worlds fair there are always several
things that the visitor is advised to
do first. The advice varies with
the character and taste of the person
administering it; but most people seem
to be agreed that the very first thing
the newcomer at the exposition ought
to do is to get his bearings; in good
old Missouri parlance, to find out
where he is at
In the nature of things. this is not
the easiest task in the world. for the
instruments in the pilot house of mans
| head usually go wrong when he gets in
a strange place. where he is in desper-
ate need of knowing his directions. In
addition to this the central group of
worlds fair buildings are so planned
| that the pedestrian on the great cen
trail avenue should have four distinct
views as he follows the bends in the
road. instead of looking down long,
mOnOtOnOus esplanade.
This arrangement relieves the pic
| ture of tediousness, but at the same
|
4 glance at the map will usually serve
to straighten things out. Then there
are the other things which one is COM
manded to do. Some advocate a ride
in the Ferris wheel. which most as
suredly does afford a fine birds eye
view. Others suggest a trip on the
| intramural or a launch ride around the
central buildings, but by far the most
frequent prescription for that lost feel
ing is a trip in the automobile. This
| advice is not given solely by ones
| friends. for at every auto stand in
the grounds are gentlemen in uniforms
who are SO in love with that delightful
| three-and-a-half mile ride that they are
devOting all their time to telling others
of its charms. Surely no nobler self
sacrifice could be imagined.
The automobile ride in itself is one
of the very pleasant experiences, not
only from the visitor from the small
towns where horseless carriages are
uncommon, but for the weary, and es
pecially for the man or woman who is
pleased with a sense of humOr. 1t is
not always an amusing ride, for some
of the men at the wheel. who also
serve as guides for the party. are re-
markedly well informed. making SIM
pie statement of facts without any at
tempt at rhetorical flourishes.
Then there are Others. and a trip
| with one of the others is worth more
than a dozen copies of Puck. Of course
no one takes him seriously. for his
| Congregations are so palpable that
they are not misleading. The chauf
| feur has the fundamental idea thor
| oughly grounded that the Louisiana
| Purchase exposition is the biggest
thing that ever happened and that
| everything about it is the biggest ever
| Before the ride is ended, the passenger
on the back seat, who has not caught
all the witty side remarks. is likely to
conclude that the chauffeur is the big
gest something-or- other since the days
| of Ananias.
| The route extends from the Plaza of
| ST Louis out Lindell boulevard be-
tween the palaces of varied industries
and transportation on the left and the
| southern rear elevation of the pike on
the right: thence across Skinker road
and up through the foreign section,
| around by International avenue and
| the Olympian Way to the main thor
oughfare of the exposition The re-
turn TO the starting point is through
the Plaza of Orleans and the Model
street.
There are prosaic Chauffeurs and
amusing Chauffeurs: but there is abso-
Lutte uniformity among the spielers at
the various stands. They are all clev-
er. with richness and variety of in
vention that surpasses almost any
thing to be heard on the pike
This is the automobile" they be-
gin. You have heard of that auto
mobile ride. OF course you have. Ev-
erybody is talking about it. Every
body has taken it except you. and you
are going to right now. Think of it.
three miles and a half for a quarter
Why, nobody could afford TO walk at
such prices! Three miles and a half,
and the little boy there goes free.
You can't afford TO miss il. You will
learn more about this here exposition
in 80 minutes than you could learn
in four weeks, going it a-foot and
alone. Why we have men to run these
machines who took a two years col
lege course TO fit themselves for their
responsible positions. They can tell
you the name of each and every build
ing. each and every statue and who
made the same. each and every ex-
hibit in the buildings and what coun-
try exhibited the same, each and every