The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-01-28
THE NoNPAREII MAN

I'LL NUM- A0GJ1 WAN
The ExhlIaratlng Sport sof Taking Cold
Water Plunge When the Mercury is il
the Bass clef-To Get the Real Thing,
Throw a n.Pound Chunk of Ice Into
the Batttub and Leave the Windows
Open So AS to Hear the Robins Sing In
the Trees. h -.
ssIt's great!s said the, city editor as het
came into the office during the resent cold
snap in a fine glow of health 'This morn
ing 1 ran the water off for a few mo-
ments so as to get it real cold and then.
jumped into bath tub full of it and
had a glorious cold bath" 49,
The foreman Of the composing room be-
gan to sit up and take notice. IS
'tYou did"
Sure
well, your bathroom was warm
wasn't it, ~
Yes ~
CHATS where you made your mistake.
When l got up, L ran the tub fun Of cold
water. threw in ten pounds of ice and
opened all the bathroom windows. Then
II jumped in It was very eXhilarating.'E =
The office force slowly melted away and
was soon buried in it's typewriter.
There was an exciting time on the.
heavy mixed freight train at the Waldo
hill on the Duluth and Iron Range. road.
! last, Tuesday. The train was made up Of
heaVy loads of logs, pulp wood, ties, a few
boxcars thrown in for good measure, and a,
rattly old caboose humping and squealing;
along behind. On the hill between mile.
posts II and 80 there IS a drop of -32S feet
and When the train started to topple down
this Cliff the engineer says tthe: air.
leaked, At any rate the air was -nots
stout enough to hold the train and be-
fore the engineer could get down to drag,
| his foot and so help 'brake up the whole
thing had escaped and was on the tobog-
fgan. =
! When the engineer saw what was hap,
peninge he threw. out a series of hoarse5
| toots that told the conductor; that the
stuff was Off ! Mr. Miller at once cut off
the cabOose and succeeded in stopping it.
The rest of the train shot away like a.
small boy making for home at dinner
time. The roar Of its approach was plain
ly heard by everybody awake in Two IIar-..
i.bors and sounded like continuous roll
of thunder. The engineer and fireman,
! finding the experience too exciting for any;
one with weak heart, dropped off to call
a friend who owned a place fronting
the right of way.
At Duluth Siding the train jumped the
track like a cross school teacher jumping
the bad boy who threw the spitball. Ev-
the logs which piled on top Of the engine
twenty feet high. ~-...--.e.-~.' .-.-.s~..
: It'sall right to fool with thunder as
Ben Franklin did or to photograph lorna
does as they try to do in Nebraska, but
when it comes to a. runaway freight train
on the side Of a mountain, we slip[off
+, every time, provided we are not drugged
| or tied down. The civil engineers have a.
foolish habit of putting curves on the
mountain tracks instead Of having a.
is in too much of a hurry to stop to go
around them. -
One of those Chicago professors leaps
into the arena with the story that the
Chinese are going to dominate the world
and that the Caucasian will become eN-
tinct. shucks! We propose to wait until
the Chinl1 dominates the laundry business
before we begin to worry.
Some too good people at Lynn, Mass,
raised big verbal fuss because a choral
society practiced the oratorio Of "Elijah''
on. Sunday afternoon. What do you think
: of that for crime! .sf
t. The man who built himself an $4,000
house last summer and moved out of his
cozy fiat is now exercising himself throw
hot air furnace. Meantime in our nice
= SO, ooo, eeQTgranite courthouse, .taxesf5are
I & eettipa ass 81 E a
s democfaticp party that the other wing rep
a reserlts Jackassoniar principles. #
Mothers of Boston may now check their
|, babies for 25c while they work for a day.
\ Papa would freely, give 25c, yea, soc, to
i check the baby's little hoHer at 2 a. m.
n In the southwest, whenever a United
States senator appears in town, the grand
jury stirs uneaslly.
n The hospital for insane Indians at Can
S ton, S. D., started out over "a year ago
a. with thirty -four patients but is now filed.
The Indian is said to be subject to de-
g spondency and the hospital is quite COM
Portable and the food. while not: luxurious.
is regular in its appearance which Is not
always the case in the tepee. On the
whole, after viewing the hospital,an Indian
would be mad if he wasn't crazy
y The books now sent out for review show
that there are a lot Of cheap poets trying
= to make good and failing miserably.
e Doc Bixby, the poet of the Nebraska
= State Journal when the cold does not nip
. his poetic feet, has been visiting Albert
. Lea. His arrival there was syn
chronous with the late atmospheric cool
!. ness. The heated stove, a newspaper and
= Doc were close companions for day,
:. Yet Doc finds that there are worse things
y than cold waves in A. Lea. In a letter
" to his home paper he says:
:, The worst feature Of this, the fairest city of
southern Minnesota, is its eleven saloons. COM
parsons oiious. but marke the difference.
Our own glorious city of Lincoln has one sa-
= loon to every 1.210 inhabitants while this city
@ has one to every $40. And they are said to
e be well patronized. Many young men upon whose
lchn onct rnct hn hnpv
public affairs when the older geezers are gone.
- spend a large part OF their time and all their
. spare change getting ready to have deliriun
\, tremens.
q Here is a fellow I knew when a boy; be was
Ii about my age and as handsome and strong as any
n in the land. The fair sex admired him, and
he welded the prettiest and one of the best or
the lot. He of the numerous young
Hoods who could "drink or let it alone" and,
e To-day his wife makes living by sewing and
n taking in washings, while he chases to town
n long before daylight for opportunity to sweep
= out saloons and clean out spittoons In exchange
"a for the stuff that has made him physical wreck
4 and driven happiness out Of his home forever.
- If one can view that picture and then say there
a is no hell, he must have hellofandea of. what
y hell is This young mans is not an iso-
lated one by long shot The list OF wrecks IS
e at the picture swift and certain ruin wrought
W by alcohol. 1t ought to impress economic the
:. ofists with the fact that there are problenS
. to solve more important than. tariff REIMBURSEMENT
70 and the Panama question. If the democratic
ST marty were in earnest in Its Drotestations OF
r love for the great common people and the conl'
l. mon common people could give them sug'