The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-09-10
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sol1 ene glri. Why don't you hold it
Post. Aistso
hxpertence, you know, is good
teacner" Yes, but / wish there were
more vacations in that school."-Chi.
cago Post.
81 Are your intentions toward tba
WlaoW serious" "Oh, very. | am go
ing' 4 possible, to get out of marry.
Ing her."-Life.
Iailor-Do you want padded shoul.
ders, my little man? Willfe--Naw.
pad de pants! OATS where / need
II mest-Chicago News.
Did Jerrold get anything out of his
rlch uncle's estateT' "Well, rather
ne married the daughter of the attor.
hey for the estate"-Ex.
Boston Governess-Yes. children,
the eyes enable us to see. Now, Emer.
son. tell me what the nose is for.
Little Emerson-It's for holding eye.
glasses.-Puck.
blebbs-HaVe. you ever had any ex-
perience with train robbers on your
travels? Slobbs-Well, I've stacked
up against a good many Pullman car
Observation-Disclosures Record.
Il don't believe bachelors have anv
hearts," she said. "Why, we're lust
the men who do have them" he re-
Piled. "Why is that" she asked.
Because we haven't lost them"
Willie-Pa, can't l have some
Fa-See here! You've got p!ateful
OF food before you. Willie-Yes, sir:
but Pa-Well, keep your mouth
shut and eat it.-Philadelphia Public
Ledger.
A new order: "You don't mean to
say you girls have started secret So
ciety" Eyes, it's a society whose
members pledge themselves to tell all
the secrets they know" Philadelphia
Ledger.
Cannibal King-That missionary
made an awful fuss, didn't he? Head
Chief-Terrible, sir. His struggles
were frightful. Cannibal King-Well,
serve him as a piece de resistance
Town Topics.
She-But if you say you can't bear
the girl, why ever did you propose
He-Well, her people have always
been awfully good to me, and it's the
only way I could return their hospi
tality.-Punch.
How l envy that boy" said Smith
eyes," acquiesced his friend; 1--WE al
envy sturdy youngster like that fol
his youth" "Oh, that's not it
He's the butchers boy, and you shouIG
hear the way he talks to my wifew
Come, now" said mamma, wht
had taken the children for a wall
through the Zoo, let's go home ant
see papa" "Oh, nov' protested Elsie
"let's see these other monkeys first.
philadelphia Press.
Of the New York kind: "Woult
you mind keeping that hat on?" "KeeT
it on! Why, l was just about to take
it off," 81: know it. But l dom
want to see any more Of this play
than can help."-Life.
Gothamite-I hear you have Vas
sar graduate for a cook. Isn't it rath
err expensive? Harlemite-Not very
She works for her board and clothes
Gothamite-Why, how does she come
to do that? Harlemite-She's my wife
Harlem Life.
. Chronic Shopper-How much arr
, your Baldwin apples? Fruit Vendel
Fifteen cents a quarterback. Chron
ic Shopper-Can't you sell me quar-
ter-peck for II cents? Fruit VendeH-
Yes, but not so big quarter-peck.-
Baltimore American.
Their meeting: She Gushing ex
pectantly)-Fred smithers, as l live
| Poor fellow-it saddens me to thinl
how broken up he was over my re
, fusal. He (wrinkling forehead)-
Where In thunder have l seen tina
: woman re?-Brooklyn Life.
2 "Why does Mrs. Clubwoman lool
so sad?" THE worlds injustice t.
2 woman has just struck her forcibl!
; again" How was that? "She hap
nened to think that Martha Washing
ton isn't called the Mother of he
. Country. "-Cincinnati Times-Star.
= Applicant for position as cook
How many aftbernoons out durin tn
wake, min? Mrs. Highmore-WelI
of course, you can have every Thurs
{ dav. and Applicant-Im askin
We min, how many AFTERNOONS gu
). re want yersilf.-Chicago Tribune.
Towne-Hear what Sniffklns di'
when the collection plate came roun'
}. to him in church last Sunday! Brown
y No. Dropped a button IN l sup
nose. Towne-Not even that IL
leaned over and whispered: Il pa1'
" the nastors fare in the car yesterda;
. morning. Wen call it square.-Phll
= adelphia Press.
e MANDY, de rec'lect how Henr
# Virgins used to play marbles an III
Z time when he was a little Teller!
n "Goodness, yes" "Well, he haint go
a. Wit