Arizona republican., 1904-02-24
STORIES ABOUT PEOPLE.
of Not Good Army Horses Try Them
 in the Navy"

in the Navy"
 w. K. Vanderbilt, Jr., who has broken the worlds automobile record in Flor ida, was hunting not long ago on the Vermont estate of his Vermont rela- tion, Dr. Seward Webb.
 One morning MT. Vanderbilt and a young English clergyman wandered with their guns far out in the country. They came finally to a lonely cabin and the clergyman said:
 T shall stop here to get a drink and and to inquire into the status in this neighborhood of the established church"
 Accordingly the young man stopped and an aged agriculturist with long. white beard directed him to the well.
 ''Ah, by the way" the clergyman said to the old man, have you any Episco- palians hereabout?"
 Hey"
 T say have you any Episcopalians hereabout?"
 T don't know" said the old man. but my son John shot something or other on Bald mountain yesterday, though I think he called it a wood cock"
 Senator Penrose at the dinner which 500 republicans gave recently in Phila- delphia in his honor, was talking about impotence.
 "A good case of impudence," he said. came under my notice during the Spanish-American war. old Scott Redway an old colorado horse dealer sold some horesesRedway an old Cdo for use in the field. These horses turned out to be worthless, and the official who had bought them on meet ing Scott one day told him so.
 Those horses of yours" he said, 'are of no use to the army.H
 "'Well,' said Scott, try them on the navy. then "
 Lord Caravon. during his visit to America last year, took a commend able interest in American things.
 He was passing one day through a small eastern town, when he noticed the shop of a man called Quincy Tufts. MT. Tufts had his name on his sign in huge letters, and Lord Carnavon mis- understood that odd name. He imag- ined that 1t represented some interest ing American object which he had nev- CT seen.
 Accordingly, entering the shop, the distinguished foreigner said to the pro- prietor:
 Pray sir; what are quincy tufts: {: Show me some won't you?"
 President David Starr Jordon of Leland Stanford university, who has been falsely said to be the hero of the new college novel, "The Torch" was born in Gainesville, N. Y, and he often tells a story of an eccentric character who was known as Red Morgan.
 Red Morgan was one day hired" Mir. Jordan will begin, "to saw three and half cords of wood at 50 cents per day. The farmer that hired Red was a long headed skfnfiint He said Now Red you have no saw of your own so I'll rent you my saw, and all I'll charge you will be 12 cents a cord. Is that all right?'
 "'Oh, sure said Red that's all right, and thank ye fer rentin' the saw to me-
 "So red went to work and late in the afternoon he finished the job Then he reported to the farmer to get his pay Let's sec said the farmer, I owe you 50 cents for the days work You owe me for the rent of the saw (threa twelves are thirty six and half of | twelve is six. You owe me 42 cents. Eight cents balance. Well !, Red old | fellow, there doesn't seem to be much coming to you does there? Red studied the matter out in sil- ence for while, frowning and mutter- | ing to himself. Then his face cleared and he said:
 How onfortnit it is, farmer, that we didn't have half a cord more wood to saw fer then we would have come out jest scuare.'" T. D. M. Cardeza, a young million aire of Philadelphia, is noted all over America for his private Zoo and his wonderful collections of Great Danes | fighting cocks, bull dogs and Japanese pheasants.
 A pet stock dealer called on MT. Car deza last month with black and tar terrier that he wished to sell.
 'Is this dog a good ratter?" the young man asked.
 "Oh, excellent" replied the dealer.
 Well, we'll try him." said MT. Car deza.
 Accordingly the terrier was lowered into pit, and a groom brought a huge rat which he dropped down beside it.
 Rat and terrier rushed at one an other, and the rat bit his opponent I! the nose. Instantly, with a loud how the dog gave up the battle.
 Well" said MT. Cardeza. turning t' the dealer with smile, your terrie is no good at all. How would you lik to buy a rat ?"
 Orville and Wilbur Wright, the in