davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
Jumped Four Bars.

At recent musical festival in a
Southern city a local chorus was to
take part with the Chicago orchestra
directed by Theodore Thomas. One
number had an orchestral prelude,
the chorus to come in at a certain
phrase. Four bars before the cue
note was one somewhat similar, and
when that was reached the chorus,
being possibly overweight, or seized
by some panic mania for laundering,
promptly come in-four bars ahead of
the proper place. A frightful discord
arose and the manager standing in
the wings literally tore his hair. The
whole performance seemed falling
about his ears in hopeless ruin. But
the next moment he found: to his
amazement no: more discord, but or
chestra and chorus moving along SO
amicably that only those familiar with
the score. suspected the imminent ship
wreck. So. to the end it went, smooth
-ly and perfectly. When it was over.
big-eyed and still hopping his brow.
the manager sought Mr.. Thomas. !.
! Say he gasped, Il wish you would
tell me how you did that?'''t +5#. =.
y oh" 5said Mr.. Thomas easily. 81
just jumped the orchestra ahead four
bars that was all. '''s Bat. no one vet
knows how. heodore Thomas. .Ey..
5erybody's Magazine -155sS
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
Drainage for Good Roads

1t is instructive to observe how
steadily the feeling is growing that
drainage and not thickness of metal
ing is the main essential in road-mak-
ing. However much we may respect
the memories of Macadam, Telford
and other great ROAD builders who
first led public authorities toward
sensible method OF construction for
country highways, the fact remains
that many of their recommendations
are now known to be misleading.
Their advice was important at the
time when it was given, but it is not
in keeping with the broader knowl-
edge of the present time, gained by
careful examination of roads built in
strict conformity with well-known
specifications. Years ago the theory
of thin roads, with a V-shaped drain
along the center, received favor.
This V-shaped drain is as effective
both for removing the water and sup.
porting the metaling as side drains
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
The Anigato Of Canada


Among the most common sights in
the streams and lakes Of the Cana.
dian II lumber country are alligators.
One cannot go UP q river in the woods
without seeing anywhere from two to
!. half2fa dozen of them lying on the
!: banks or floating in the water, ~
Nobody hunts these alligators, and
there is no instance known OF. their
attacking anybody. Indeed, the *lum-
oermen swim around right alongside
OF them, and generally there are from
one TO three lumbermen sitting on the
back of one alligator. .*>ss'@
The fact is that the Canadian alli-
gator is not reptile, but boat-and
a BOAT as queer in the world of boats
as tne real alligator is queer in the
world of reptiles.
- me canadian alligator boat is an
oval, hat thing, with a small boiler
and engine bolted to the deck without
any deck mousse or other structure
over it. Two spidery iron paddle
wheels on the sides do the propelling.
They look funny enough plunsing
along, with the skeleton wheels pad
ding like mad, and a. great raft be-
hind them; but the funniest part Of
the alligator is not seen till the craft
happens to get to shallow place, or
till it becomes desirable for some rea-
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
"F0r to Admire

The Injian Ocean sets an smiles
So sOf'. so bright, SO bloomin blue:
There amt a wave for miles an railes
Excep' the jiggle from the screw.
The ship is sweep, the day is done,
The bugle's gone for smoke an play;
An back again the settin' sun
The Lascar sings, Hum deckty hair
For to admire an for to see,
For to be'old this world so wide
1t never done no good to me,
But can't drop it if I tried!
I see the sergeants pitchin' quoits,
Tear the women laugh an talk,
spy upon the quarter deck,
The OFFICERS an lydies walk
thinks about the things that was,
An leans an looks acrost the sea,
Till, spite of all the crowded ship,
There's no one lef' alive but me.
The things that was which ave seen,
In barrick, camp, an action, too,
tells them over by myself,
An sometimes wonders if they're true;
For they was odd-most awful odd
But all the same now they are Ger,
There must be 'eaps O. plenty such,
An if I wait I'll see some more.s
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

and a Telford base. It's cost is ap-
proximately seventy-seven cents per
lineal foot of road less than construc-
ton with Telford base and two
drains, and thirty-five cents less than
the same base with single side
drain.
This system of construction is di-
rectly opposite to that advocated in
most of the accepted manuals on the
subject. The old idea has been to get
the water off the roadbed just as
quickly as possible. To accomplish
this the subgrade has been crowned
and rolled and the lower courses of
stone are coarse and often of cons1u-
cradle thickness. By the new sys-
tenn of construction the water remains
on the roadbed and is collected by
the outlet drains at fifty-foot points
the drainage not being distributed
along each side Of the road, but con-
centrated at a regular series of points.
Engineering Record.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
Tale of a Mystery

Gov. Pennypacker of Pennsylvania
was reviewing the State militia at
Gettysburg. A young staff officer de-
scribed to him in a low voice some
unimportant error that had been
made. But as to the cause of the err
ror, sir" he said, that is mystery"
Gov. Pennypacker smiled.
IF it is a mystery" he said, lit is
like the picked pork disaster that be-
fell two Pennsylvania Dutchmen,
Hans and Fritz.
"These two men bought a lot of
picked pork in partnership. They
put it in barrel, and stored it away
in the cellar of Hans home Now,
Hans, though Pennsylvania Dutch
man, was dishonest. The combination
is rare.
well, the morning after the deal in
picked pork, Fritz met Hans on the
road.
"'Good morning, Hans he said. is
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

son to warp great crib OF logs into
shore or fasten it to the bank.
. Then the alligator proceeds to DEM
onstrate why it is so named. 1t chug-
chugs calmly to the bank, goes
straight at it, up goes it's nose on
the shore, and the next moment the
paddle wheels cease to revolve and
the queer boat trund1es up on land.
Then the amphibian character, OF
the thing becomes visible. Under the
keel of the alligator are wooden roll
ers. When the queer craft has been
forced as far up the bank as the pad
die wheels can drive it, chains are
run to the nearest tree and brought
back to the rollers. The engine gear
ing is shifted from the paddle wheels
to the rollers and the alligator pro-
ceeds to pull itself along over the
land.
Thus the lumbermen have boat, a
locomotive and a stationary engine
combined in their alligators, and the
value of such a combination can be
realized when it is understood that
sometimes they bring down RATS so
huge that they will cover a square
mile; while the distances over which
they are floated are so great llat RATS
have been known to be three years on
the way from the far north to the
settled country.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

there any news about our picked
pork?'
Fritz Hans answered gravely,
there is news, and bad news. A
strange thing has happened. It is a
mystery to me-
Well, Hans, tell me all about it,
said Fritz.
Fritz, my friend, it was like this
said Hans. This morning went
down cellar to get piece of pork for
my breakfast, and put my hand down
in the barrel, and I felt around in the
brine, and there was no pork there.
1t was all gone-all gone completely.
So then l turned up the barrel, and,
as true as you are alive, the rats had
eaten a hole clean through the bot
tom and dragged the pork all out
Fritz was amazed and stunned.
"'Why didn't the brine run out of
the hole?' he asked.
"'Ah, Fritz said the other, that's
the mystery. That's the mystery"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

" Oh, I ave come upon the books,
An often broke barrick rule,
An STOOD beside an watched myself
Be'avin' like bloomin' fool
I paid my price for fndin' out,
Nor never grutched the price I paid,
But sat in Clink without my boots
Admirin' 'ow the world was made
Be'old cloud upon the beam,
An Jumped above the sea appears
Old Alden, like a barrick-stove
That no ones lit for years an yearsf
l passed by that when I began,
An, go 'ome the road I came
A time-expired soldier-man,
With six years service to lis name
MY girl she said, "Oh, stay with me!''
My mother 'eld me to 'er breast
They've never written none, an so
They must ave gone with all the rest
With all the rest which I ave seen
An found an known an met along,
I cannot say the things I feel,
But still l sing my evenn' song:
For to admire an for to see,
For to beold this world so wide
It never done no good to me-
But I can't drop it if I tried!
-Rudyard Kipling.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

there were others which have escaped
me. Lincoln, the strongest American
type. she did not consider in the gen
tlemen class, and Gen. Grant, the ma
tons especial pride, did not fulfil her
ideas of what a gentleman should be"
!: The -Four Hundred set is. merci-
lessly assailed. "Degeneracy marked
some of their acts" he writes; "di-
vorce blackened their records, and
shameless affairs marked them In
this "set," and particularly it's imi-
tators throughout the United States,
the divorce rate is appalling. Men
leave their wives and obtain a divorce
for no other reason than that wom-
an falls in love with another woman's
husband.
The dress of American men and
women, with the changing fashions
and servile obedience of all to the god
of fashion, is treated with the same
caustic pen. Evening dress is de-
scribed with considerable humor, and
the opera hat interested the Celestial.
"There is also a hat to 60 with the
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
Death Was a Suggested Subject.

Death Was a Suggested Subject.
Tom Johnson of Cleveland was
spending a few weeks at a small hotel
near Lake Michigan. Accommoda-
lions had been engaged in advance,
tut the service was not such as he had
expected. At each meal Mr.. Johnson
introduced the subject of death. So
persistent was he in discussing the
morbid theme that it had depress-
ing effect on the other guests.
Cant you speak on anything else
but death?" asked the landlord in des.
Eeratioa.* "
i h Conversation is prompted by sur
rounGings," explained the mayor.
"'But there are no gravestones nor
kearses here protested the landlord,
swinging his arms toward the beau:
#tiful lake. Neither is there crepe on
the door" s. =ss55z 81 ].
siids Mr.. John son, painfully; ];
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
Novelist States Position.

George Meredith has at last fallen
victim to- the interviewer, and appar-
emily willing victim. There is some
thing little reminiscent Of the new
Swinburne preface in the great novel;
lists announcement as to his work.
THE English people know nothing
about me- he has confessed. There
has always been something antipa-
thetic between them and me. =. With
book after book it was always the
same cutlery Of censure and :. disap.
rroval. The first time or twoI mind.
ed it. Then I determined to disre-
gard what people said altogether, and
since that have written only to.
please myself. '=s III .S5 !s
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
CELESTIAL OPINION OE
NJ ~ MERICA AND AMERICANS
Young Chinan1an. Educated sc Harvard, Writes
s5 q Book of Scathing Criticism of the
# People Of This Country.

H. go Il s%=f x T., ! =
Confucius and the divination of a Ma
homet and Hilliel combined. >..4 y
~ T. Balls are q feature of American
life. The women appear in full dress,
which means that the arms and neck
are exposed, and the men wear even
ing dress. The dances are mostly
round The man takes lady to the
ball, and when he dances seizes her
in an embrace which would be con-
sidered highly improper under; or
binary circumstances, but the Etiquette
of the dance makes it permissible. He
places his right arm around her
waist, takes her left hand in his, holds
her close to him, and both begin to
move around to the special music de-
signed for this peculiar notion
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

evening costume" he says, "a high
hat which crushes in. You may sit
on it without injury to yourself or
hat. know this by narrowing ex-
perience."
Zone of the most extraordinary
features of American life is the dress
of women" he says. "The Americans
make claim to being among the most
modest, the most religious, the most
proper people in the world, yet the ap-
pearance of the ladies at many public
functions is beyond belief. They wear
gowns in the French court fashion,
with trains a yard or two in length,
but the upper part cut so low that
large portion of the neck and Shout
ders is exposed. At my fashionable
dinner l was embarrassed beyond ex-
preston; such an exhibition in China
could only be made by certain class.
This remarkable custom of strange
people, who deluge China with mis-
sionaries from every sect under the
sun and at home commit the grossest
solecisms, is universal, and not
thought Of as improper.
IF I should tell you how many
American women asked me why Chi
nese women bandage their feet, you
would be amazed; yet every one OF
these submitted to and practised de-
formity that has seriously affected the
growth and development of the race.
american women exchange their
fashions twice year or more. Fash
ions are in the hand of the middle
classes, and the highest lady in the
land is completely at their mercy; to
Gisobey the mandates of fashion is to
become ridiculous.
Il was told that one lady wore
$500 diamond in her garter. The ut
terly strange and contradictory Gus
served at the beach and bath. In
China if woman is modest she is
so at all times; but this is not true
with some Americans, who appear to
have the desire to attract attention,
especially that of men, by an appeal
to the beautiful in nature and art; at
least this is the impression the un-
p:ejudiced locker on gets by sojourn
in the great cities and fashionable re-
sorts. If you happen to be riding
horseback or walking in the street
with a lady and any accident occurs
to her costume whereby her neck,
her leg or her ankle is exposed she
will be mortified beyond expression;
yet the night previous you might have
sat in the box with her at the opera.
when her decollete gown had made
her the mark for hundreds of lorg-
nettes. Again, this lady the next
morning might battle with me at the
beach and lie on the sand basking in
the sun like siren in a costume that
would arrest the attention of St.
Anthony. .~
Let ne describe such a costume:
A pair of skin-tight black silk stock
lings, then pair of tights of black
silk and a flimsy black skirt that
comes just to the knee; a black silk
waist, armless, and as low in the neck
as the moral law permits, beneath
which, to preserve her contour, is a
waterproof corset. Limbs, to expose
which an inch on the street were
crime, are blazoned to the world at
! Newport, Cape May, Atlantic City and
other resorts, and often photographed
and shown IN the papers. To explain
this manifest contradi ction would be.
beyond the powers Of an oriental had
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Once boyhood friend visited Ros.
coe Conkling when law student.
Meeting a supercilious reception when
he asked, studying to BE a lawyer,
Roscoe?" he retorted, "You ought to
study to be- a supreme court justice!"
He meant it for a. sheer, but that's the
way every law student ought to study.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

A suit against Armour for $780,
600 is said to be friendly action. The
average man would take it as un-
friendly, to say the least, to be sued
for q million.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

ed to weaken the influence of Pobyed.
onostseff. That will mean something
worth while if the boy never does any
thing else of importance.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

News that citizen of Rochester
has died at the age of 101 lacks com.
pleteness. The public does not know
whether his length of years was due
to tobacco and alcohol or to absti-
nence
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

The young Russian Alexis has al
ready been made an honorary colonel.
but this will naturally cause his royal
mother less anxiety about him than
if he were serving in the navy.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

In Georgia the catfish have taken
to swallowing rattlesnakes. The water
must be almost as bad up there as it
is in Kentucky.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

No one can blame Europeans for
believing that all Americans are rich.
A Boston woman left a quart of dia-
monds in London hotel and wired
back to the proprietor to. keep them
until come over again next summer.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

A New York society man has been
fined for swearing. Still, the tailor
may have given him great provoca.
ton.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

In Philadelphia an actress killed
herself sooner than marry. Death lasts
a great deal longer, though, than the
average theatrical marriage.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

The new Holland flying machine
costs but $40. Glad to see these little
modern conveniences gradually get
ting down to within 1898 of their
actual value
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

The temperance of the kissing bug
at the seaside resorts is taken to
mean that the sea serpent story is
not good form this year.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Russia claims that -four is contra.
band of war. and will do all in her
power to discourage the hot-biscuit
habit within her borders.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

y Croesus, the multi-millionaire of an.
tiQuity, is said by scholars never to
have laughed. Probably made the peo-
pie "laugh out of the other side OF
their mouths" though.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

If King Edward were to meet the
emperor of the Hottentots would he
wear the uniform of a Hottentot ad-
miral as mark of courtesy.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

A western expert on alcoholism
claims that the reason 50 many men
fail to walk straight is that they can't
see straight.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

An irreverent contemporary de-
scribes society as moving along to-
ward Saratoga" Those poker chips
and "Saratoga chips" will soon be
moving along also.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

That Boston society leader who has
taken up the blacksmith's trade is 60
ing to get on the black list if he isn't
careful
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Squads have advanced to IS dozen
in New York, but the old familiar
political squabble may still be had
upon most any terms.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Krupp's gun works are now working
overtime, and peace is still looking
in vain for the proverbial "balm."
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

The cars edict abolishing whip
ping in his domains will interest the
heir apparent when he arrives at the
spanking age.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Marie Dressler, the actress, has
adopted one Of those incubator ba-
bies;" and her press agent will now
have something substantial to work
on.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Love is the greatest thing in the
world, but it has it's drawbacks when
the loved one pawns your jewels
without notifying you in advance.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Hollands new airship may cost but
SO, but it is likely to cost somebody
his life before we hear the last of it.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

A man drank nine quarts of whisky
and died. Even the temperance folks
must admit that rum has some value.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
COURTESY OF THE DIPLOMATS

Charge Of Neglect That Nettled the
Japanese Minister. 49,
mr.. Ambassador, did bow to you.
I did so in most marked manner"
This was Minister Takahira's pro:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Some men find it more difficult to
get divorced from: their illusions than
from their wives.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Georgia has a town called Shake
Rag, whose citizens, however, are sale
to be no great shakes. ~
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

Viewed through the smoke of his
hookah, all battleships look much
alike to Sultan Abdul Hand.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15

'Fbut il you wanted crepe and couldn't
get it, wouldn't this tablecloth make
good substitute? "-Portland Ore
gonian.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1904-10-15
y Content is something you think
other people have when they haven't.

a negro recently fell seventy feet in
New York and lost neither his. life nor
his religion. r. y 4. % *.t,>..
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1904-10-14
Negro Captured.

Some time ago warrant was sent
to Sheriff Bufo7d for John Gary,
colored man wanted in Laurens coun-
ty for assault and battery and with
intent to kill. The negro was cap
tured in this county few days ago
and on Wednesday morning he was
turned over ito the ''puty sheriff
from Laurens who ca!. ID him back
to answer to the charge.
John Gray is the negro who shot
Alex. Satterwflite through the chest
several years ago, and that is the
crime for which he is now wanted.
For some reason the affair was not
taken to court at that time.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1904-10-14
Shears in Jail.

At about ten o'clock Wednesday
night Sheriff Buford was called to the
front door of the jail by knock and
ooening the door he found the negro
known as Bud Shears, who had cut
Ben Chalmers in row at Scott
Town some time ago. Shears said
he had heard that the sheriff was af-
ter him, and knowing it was no use
to fee or attempt to evade arrest,
he had taken the easiest way and
come to give himself up.
Immediately after the cutting
Shears decamped to Union. A war
rant for his arrest was sent there,
and meanwhile he returned to New
berry. Hearing that he had come
back Deputy Sheriff Duncan Johnson
went to look for him Wednesday
morning. He found where he could
be apprehended later and if Shears
had not given himself up voluntarily
it is altogether probable that he
would have been caught in few
hours. 1t is said that Chalmers, the
colored man whom Shears cut, is in
pretty bad condition.