Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-12-23
DRIFTWOOD
CHRISTMAS.

Editorial rooms Wherever my rent is paid
CHRISTMAS.
Christmas comes but once O year
Not strictly original remark, / know
at any rate; seem somehow, to
have heard it before, and it brings to
mind that it may be an unspeaksble
nuisance, from the jaundiced view
points of the weary scribe, who is ex
pected by an unreasonable public to
grind out a column of bright and
sparkling and crispy "copy" about a
subject which was done to death gen.
erations before he was born. II / had
lived fifty years ago, now, the thing
would have been simplicity itself
When Dickens and Thackeray painted
Christmas in words that will live long
as there are real children in the world
there was much of interest to say
about Christmas. The world wa.
younger then. 1t moved more slowly
The telephone, the electric car and
the airship had not yet come. Those
were leisurely days, and folk had time
to steep themselves in the essence ol
yule-tide, in the beatty Of its customs
in the gladness and the pathos of the
meeting OF long g-parted friends, and in
the warm satisfaction that comes with
the joy Of giving. But we, upon whom
the ends OF the earth are come. regard
Christmas cynically for the most par.
and none. l dare swear, regard it with
more hopeless humpsomeness than
the harassed press man, who like
many newspaper writers, just about
now, are expected to "weigh in" with
column or two of Christmassy
"copy."
Yet the thing must be done. When
you receive your next STANDARD Santa
Claus will have come and gone. And
here let me say, the man, woman, or
child who does not fall over himself OF
herself, so to speak, in his aud her
haste to secure a copy of their favorite
paper at holiday time, be it whatever
newspaper or magazine it may, and to
gloat and chuckle over its seasonable
contents, deserves something with
boiling oil in it. That is to say, that
he, she or it, is a-well, the WASHING.
TON STANDARD is clean newspaper
and / must not use embroidered
language, even if l were so disposed.
Not that I am so disposed, Of course
This is q season Of peace on earth
except in a newspaper Office, that is to
say, and good will to all men-except
the foreman printer, who is quite out.
side the pale.
But TO return TO Christmas chat
As / said before, Santa Claus will
have come and gone, before you re-
ceive your next STANDARD, and tha,
being so. it is my duty to the vast
public who week by week. month by
month, have reveled in the feast ol
reason and the flow OF soul purveyed
in Driftwood (excuse me for present.
ing myself with boquets and street
car tickets; but you will also remem
Der the old saw "self praise is hall
scandal" will you not?) to wish all my
readers and all their sisters and
cousins and aunts the merriest oil
merry Christmasses. And so l do. ol
course, with all my heart. And the
same to you and many of them. To
be sure, it is really early. 1t is not
actually Christmas, you know-excep,
iu some newspaper Office, as I men.
toned before. But even Christmas
numbers Of newspapers and magazines,
nowadays, are like most other things
they are in hurry. Why, you can
get a Christmas number as early as
the end of August already, and i
make no doubt that, before many
years have passed, you will be able to
take the Christmas number Of your
favorite sheet with you when you 20
to Westport. .the-sea, to spend your
midsummer holidays. Whether this
previousness on the part OF Christmas
numbers is a good or bad thing, is a
mere point. Much depends upon the
point OF view, you see. But that there
can be no probable or possible harm in
wishing a man q Merry Christmas q
few days beforehand there is no doubt
whatever. It is emphatically q case
of better early than never. Besides
it is only meet and right that I should
with all due pomp and circumstance
here at this juncture, wish you 6
merry Christmas" The which
do, and "there's my hand with my
heart int"
All this is merely DEPRESSION how
ever. and has really nothing to dc
with what set out to say. What
wanted to do was to put on record my
fervent protest against the absurd no
ton that "graphite.pusher," like
myself, should be expected to write
column of Christmas gossip ct this
time OF day. The thing is positively
too ridiculous for words. To begin
with, all that I could say about Christ
mas has been said before. It is quite
hopelessly impossible for hard.worked
scribler like myself to think of any
thing new and "grippy" to say about
Christmas, let him cudgel his biains