The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-10-22

/ NH0 NOtSC lNi AAAS AtdciH tui
the hotel In this little town, and h
| made ben Buckmans Place" head
quarters during his stay. Tired. sor,
and covered with prohibition dust
he registered in careless scribe
Jim Tatton, Astoria, Ore. U S, A.
After registering. he asked for ke.
to his room. and quietly Whispered
to the clerk that large sized drinl
OF coffee would be a treat at thi'
particular time II he could get II.
Certainly; you can have It. Any
thing and everything to cheer trave'
lers is in our business, sir"
Good for you, old man; I'm glad Tn
here" said the captain, as he pattet
the clerk. bell-boy and whole thlnl
on the shoulder,
Il want a drink; that viii help q
man to forget his troubles in quiet
Maine"
"This way to your room. sir. Climb
two flights of stairs, walk straight
ahead to hallway, turn to your left
and count six rooms back on your
right and the sixth room is yours"
"All right" said the captain; "I'n
do that, and you hurry up the drink
The minute the Astorian dropped
his grip in that sixth room his troubles
began. He wanted to take a batn
and change his linen. While wait
ing for the clerk and the drink he took
from the wall card-"Rules and
Regulations" - adjusted his nose
glasses and read as follows:
Rule One--All bills payable in ad-
vance. Relatives charged regular rates
and no favors granted.
Rule Two-Upon retiring be careful
not to drop your shoes on the floor
and don't sit on the side of the bed rs
the tick says. II you want more quilts
whistle for them.
Rule Three-Early-ris buckwheat
cakes and salt pork every morning
for breakfast, from 5:00to $3.50. Any
thing you want for dinner Cold meats,
beans and brown bread for supper,
No lunches between meals at any
price.
Rule Four-When you want TO
wash take the back stairs to kitchen,
where water, towel and homemade
soap will be cheerfully furnished by
Mary, the dishwasher When you
want bath notify the porter--a wash
tub of pure rain water, blood heat,
will be brought to- your room at Q
a. m. Don't wet the carpet.
Rule Five-No fire escapes on tais
building. In case Of fire run to back
window and jump on kitchen roof,
then another jump for the ground and
wake the neighbors.
P. S.-If the above rules are not
plain, the proprietor will explain
them.
Returning the card to its tack In
the wall, he removed his coat, hat,
collar, shirt, and slipped suspenders
from his shoulders. Here goes for
Rule No. A." said Jim; and away he
went down the back stairs for
Maine scrub with soft soap and rain
water. He entered the kitchen and
all was quiet. Where is Mary?
She's not here. Plenty of soap and
water in sight, but what am I to do
for a towel?"
Nary" he shouted, bring me a
towel'
The proprietor heard the mild re-
quest in the front Office and came out
In a hurry.
Whats up?" inquired the land
lord.
Everything is away up in this
place." answered Jim. Il want a
towel and / want it quick" And he
got it.
The bath and change of clothes
helped to cheer him.
Now I'll see Cousin Ben"
with thoughts of bygone days in
better land, he made his way to the
hotel ONCE. Buckman had received
his weekly mail, the Portland trans
cript, and was comfortably seated in
the old arm chair, enjoying the news
of the week. Jim entered unnoticed
and broke the silence with, Hello.
Ben, old boy; how are you? And
what's the news about these diggin's2"
well" said Ben, Il just got my
half hour ago, and hain't
had chance to find out much yet. I
lust got down to the national capital
notes. They say in Washington that
Roosevelt will be reelected. and /
yuess the crops and crountry will be
afe another four years"