The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-10-29
15sss lIsz sS4zS2

ShOulO, SAID man at the back OF the
audience promptly.
He-It is q pleasure to meet a wom-
an who has sense of humor. She
But. really. one doesn't need a sense of
humor to laugh at the things you say.
Life.
Uncle-Yes, Charles; l laid the foun-
dation OF my fortune by saving cab
fares. Spendthrlft Nephew-I didn't
know you ever drove one, uncle!-
Punch.
/ Old Aunt (despondently)-W l
shall not be nuisance to you much
longer. Nephew reassuringly)-Don't
talk like that, aunt You know you
will.-Punch.
Marriage Not Failure: Old Friend
Was your daughters marriage a sue.
cess! Hostess-Oh, great success.
She's travelling in Europe on the ali.
mony.-New York Weekly.
A Practical View: Struggling Pas
tor-The collections have fallen Off ter
ribly. Practical Wife-Its that new
vestryman who passes the plate; he
never watches what people put in
New York Weekly.
Sensational: Lena-What did that
Russian nObleman write i'll your auto
graph album? MaDel-Oh. something
unspeakable. Lena - Goodness gra-
cious! What was it? Mabel-His
name.-Town Topics.
To Be Considered: DO you expect to
have an ovation when you get up 10 see
your constituents again" Il don't
know" rejOined Senator Sorghum, alb
sent-mindedly; how much do ovations
Washington Star.
He Got in the Way: Jimson-YOu say
your wife threw the poker at a stray
dog and hit you instead? Jester-Yes,
but it was my fault; had no business
standing behind her when she threw
Columbus State Journal
/ A Humane Woman: The Cabman-
Gimme your bag. lady, and I'll put it
on top of the cab. Mrs. Oatcake (as
she gets in)-No; that poor horse of
yours has got enough to pull. I'll
carry it on my lap.-Leslie's Weekly.
How He Squared Himself: He Dust
Observation-Disclosures a very homely per-
son that gentleman near the piano is,
Mrs. Black! She-Isn't he? That is
Mr.. Black. He-How true it is, Mrs
Black, that the homely men always get
the prettiest wives!-Tit-Bits.
Messenger Boy-Is this Mr.. Ernest
n-ThOmpson's, or Mr.. Ernest
ThOmpsOn-Seton's, or Mr.. Sompson-
Teton's, or Mr.. Ernest Theton-Shomp-
sons? Maid-Wait minute, can't you.
He didn't say what it would be to-day.
III 60 and ask him.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
+, An exchange laments that Niagara,
one Of natures great spectacles, a won
der Of the ages, has become the propel-
Ter Of base machinery and the exploit
er of sensation seekers. 1t has been
noticed for some time that Niagara
was going down hill.-Kansas City
Journal
Mrs. Hauskeep-I don't know much
about the new girl, but she's good-na-
tured and harmless at any rate. Mr..
Hauskeep-How did you find that out ?
Mrs. Hauskeep-I notice that she sings
at her work. Mr.. Hauskeep-Huh!
That's no sign; mosquito does that
Philadelphia Press.
His Taste Uncertain: "POOh!" said
Daisy, scornfully. 1.-The idea of your be-
ing afraid of poor old house dog!
Why, he eats out of my hand" Il
don't doubt it," replied Burroughs. du-
biously, "but what l am afraid of is
that he may take notion to eat out
Of my leg."-Smart Set.
A Few Years Hence: Anything go
ing on this EVENING" Yes; there's to
be q performance at the Athletic Car
dens. A fellow will undertake to SUBJ
due an automobile that has record
of having killed six men. He's to do
1t in one hour or forfeit thousand dol
lars Chicago Tribune.
Straight Tip: Il hear your engage
ment with young GOtrOx has been
broken off," said the first. fair daughter
of Eve. 'Well, you are entitled to an
other hearing" rejoined fair daughter
No. 2, as she held up graceful hand
ON which a solitaire sparkled; you can
see for yourself that am still in the
ring.'-ChicagO News.
| Proof: The Maid with the paper)-
Here's a piece says that the police of
New York are getting more insolent
every day. The Cook-Bedad! OF be-
have thot's roight. Phwy. lasht noight,
phwin Pathrolman Danny Foley drop
ned in, he wanted to'know phwy OF
didn't save him the breast Of the turkey
instid av the leg.-Puck.
| A Temperance Lesson: 81" said the
Temperance man, strongly object to
the custom Of christening ships with
(! champagne" II don't" replied the
other man; 81 think there's temper
ance lesson in it," How can that be?"
well, Immediately after the first bot
| tie of wine the ship takes to water. and
sticks to il ever after"-TOwn TODics