davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
His Excuse

"How dare you, sir" exclaimed the
indignant girl.
Il couldn't help it, Maud" pleaded
the now penitent young man. "You
were so maddeningly kissable!"
Still, it was fully ten seconds before
she quite forgave him-Chicago Tri-
bune
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Hard on the Ear,

Mrs. Church-Has your child got an
ear for music?
Mrs. Gotham-No; think 1t was ru-
ined when she was quite young. My
husband used to sing to her-Yonkers
Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Needless Adjectives

Say, pa Queried little Johnny
Bumperniclle. whats a redundancy
of expression?"
Using more words than are neces.
sary to express ores meaning. my
son." replied the old man, "such as
wealthy plumber wealthy coal deal
err etc. "-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
gaSDed
Source of Discomfort.

Then you don't believe in higher
education for women?"
Certainly not. 1 think it's shame
to even teach 'em how to read If a
woman couldn't read the bargain adj
vertisements she wouldn't be so I'M
happy over the lots of things she can't
afford to buy."-Catholic Standard and
Times.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Another Sufferer.

Johnny-Dad, what do you call a
man when his wife dies?
Father-A widower.
Johnny-And what would you call
him IL he married again?
Father-A blithering idiot-Ally
Sloper.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
An Oversight.

isn't your wife little absent-mind-
Cd. old man?"
II am inclined latterly to think that
she is. The caterers and decorators
had everything ready for a big party
at our house the other night, and aft
er my wife had fumed half an hour
because no guests appeared, she re-
called that she had neglected to send
out the invitations. Free
Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
An Awful Thought.

I often long to put away
The burdens fate has piled on me
And lay me down to sleep for aye,
From toiling and from trouble free.
But then there comes this awful thought
Which makes me brace myself and bear
The ills have a present: What
If men must still work over there7
Chicago Record-Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
A Misfit Engagement.

Paper-Hanger-I went to your house
Tuesday. but there was nobody at
home.
he-House-Yes; you said
you'd come Tuesday; but l thought
or course you meant Wednesday or
Thursday - Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23

What books are those you are pack
ing, Henry?"
"These-It's that set of One Hundred
Best Books that fool agent got me to buy
last fall
20 yes. Hooked all through them this
morning for something that would give
instructions on how to pack books."-
Chicago Tribune
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
A Good Catch.

Mamma-I'd hate to think that you
would throw yourself at young Short
stop.
Daughter don't see why. He's the
best catch on the local ball team.-Cin-
cinnau Enquirer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Reminder of Wall Street

Mrs. Banker-Oh, come out to the
barnyard, William, and see the farmer
watering his stock.
Mr.. Banker-No, Julia, I came out
here In the country to forget bust
ness.-Yonkers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Her Experience.

This race problem is dreadful
thing"
Yes answered young Mrs. Torkins;
whenever see Charley get pencil and
begin to figure on the entries in race
l know there's going to be trouble
washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
What She Heard.

Mrs. Spouser-John, didn't l hear
you slipping upstairs at four o'clock
this morning?
Mr.. Spouser-Not on your life That
was when | slipped down, after crawl
ing halfway up.-Butte Inter-Mount-
tain. .o,e>.--.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Self-Convicted.

Wife-Percy, II a man were to sit on
your hat what would yoL say?
Husband should call him a con.
founded silly ass.
Wife-Then don't sit on II any longer
that's a dear.-Chicago journal.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
A Ballad of a Bad Baby.

Alexander Michaelvitski,
Wouldn't mind little bitski
Mamma took her slipperouski
To the shed behind the houski-
Took her son across her lapski,
Giving him a spankski slapski.
Since that time his mammals joyski
Is model Russian boyski.
Boston Globe
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Pulling.

Cobwigger-He has a harassed look
for a man on his honeymoon.
Merritt-Yes. He is thinking up
things 10 do to make people believe
they're not just married.-Judge.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Her Impression.

Ibid you ever make anything by get
ting into the swell set, Mrs. Parvenue?"
"Of course. l did. I'm told that short
" afterward made beautiful foa1 -
whatever that is."-N Y. Times.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Divorce Surgery.

ST see Jennie Gayleigh is to undergo
another operation
Dear me! Appendicitis AGAIN."
''No. She's going to have her hus-
band amputated."- Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
That Pompous Feeling.

Clorinda-What kind of a man is
Florinda's new beau?
Flavilla-Oh, he's one of these little
three-foot men with a six-foot air
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
The DawE of Reasoning.

'Pa." asked the little Wise boy.
what Is butteryT'
ga buttery, my son." explained Mr..
Wise, as where people make butter"
'Then do they make augers in an
augury?"-Judge.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Caution Up-to-Date.

Mother-Yes, children, .yon may run
out and play on the railroad tracks,
but be sure and keep off the street or
the automobiles will get you.-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
The Difference.

One-Are you certain that you love the
girl?
Tuther-Certain7 Why, can't sleep
nights for thinking about her.
One-That's odd. get the same effect
from my tailor's bills?-Judge.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Making. Heraldry.

Merchant-Phew! Two hundred doll
lars is pretty steep for that trademark.
Mrs. Merchant-Oh, get a good one;
DUR grandchildren can use it for a coat
of-arms.-Detroit Free Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Asked and Answered.

What is lover" asked the sweet
girl who was looking for a chance to
leap.
Love-" replied the old bachelor. as
a kind OF insanity that makes a man
call 20o-pound female his little tur-
tie doye."-Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
how the Tiff Started.

He-Wasn't it brave of Farragut to tie
himself to the mast?
She-Oh. l don't know. / tied myself
to a stick, but nobody gets excited over
tn. Y. Sun
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Speaking with Authority.

Meeks-The man who tries TO
change woman's views is fool.
Weeks-How do you know?
Meeks-My wife told me so.0Tit-
Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Optimistic.

Hewitt-What sort of a fellow Is
Gruet?
Jewett-The sort that thinks he can
live strenuous life on eight dollars
q week.-Brooklyn Life.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Idiomatic En- glish.

Hojack-Well. the company has gone
under?
Tomdik-What sank It?
Hojack-Its floating debt1Town
Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Highly Successful.

Jack Sprat took Anti Fat,
His wife took Anti-Lean,
And so to-day the both of them
Are sleeping in the green.
-Lippincotts Magazine.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Not Vicious Enough.

He-Like all young men, 1 have my
faults.
She-Yes, but they are 10 insignifi-
cant that no seif-respecting girl would
feel justified in marrying you to re-
form you.-Town Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Clever Thought.

Van Dauber-So old Gotrox fell in
love at first sight with that impossible
Jones girl. Why, she is a perfect
freak!
F'riend-Just so. Do you know, old
chap, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get
the old boy around to look at your
pictures.-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
One Definition.

''Pa, what is a Lady,"
"a lady, my son, is a female who
does not have to insist that she Is q
lady."-Cleveland Leader.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Discourage cling.

He-Did you read my last book OF
smart sayings?
She--I hope so.-Detroit Free Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
An Important Distinction.

The diplomat doth toll in state
And carefully dissimulate.
With lesser plans and smaller wit
He would be ca@led a hypocrite.
-Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Swelling the Bill.

IF you refuse me-" he said, and his
voice grew cold and hard, "I will turn
on the gas at every burner and let 1t
flow unrestrained"
Mercy" gasped the maiden.
Would you kill yourself?"
NO" cried the youth, "but I'd do
my best to bankrupt your father
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
Vicious Opinion of a Victim.

ma, what is bibliomanic?"
"a bibliomaniac, Tommy, is a man
whose library looks like an old sec
ondhand book shop. Com
mercial-Tribune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
One Nav Wish.

Tommy-Ma, wish you'd gimme some
cake.
Mother-Tommy! Didn't tell you
not to ask for cake?
Tommy amt askin'; I'm Jest
wishin'.-Philadelph Public Ledger.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23

Foreman-Have you had your
breakfast yet, Pat?
Pat-Not a drop. sor.-Ally Sloper.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-07-23
The Popular Idea of It.

Whats che matter with your hus-
band, Mrs. Gribbleson?"
"Oh. the doctor says he's been workin'
too hard"
''Wby, thought he held political Of
fice."-Chicago Record-H Herald.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

mense appropriations, is the control of the Chargrea River. An artificial lake to supply the locks is to be made by the con- structiOn of a tremendous dam, and the river is to empty it's water into it. This river is tor rential and varies in the amonnt of water discharged from $50 cubic feet per second to 136,OOO per second. And when it ie in rage and it's back is up, it fetches down from the noun tains trees, debris, and big bOul- ders enough to fill up the lake in a short time.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

The year 1904 has O good start toward breaking the worlds re- cord for great disasters. The Chicago theatre fire; burning of Baltimore, and numerous mine and railway horrors fill in the brief period since January 1st. Added to these are war and rumors of wars" enough i'll all parts of the globe to start bible students prophesying at an in- creased rate.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

In the death of Senator Marcus A. Hanna, which occurred in Washington last Monday, the nation loses one of the greatest statesman and the republican party one of it's greatest polit,- clans. For the past fifteen years, Senator Hanna has been con- stantly in the public eve, and while he made enemies, he Se- cured a dozen friends for each enemy.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

A Washington dispatch says: The question of statehood is now presenting a different ap- pearance. It is reported today that the republicans have agreed to let Arizona remain as a terri tory for the present.
 New Mexico is to be admitted as one state by the present con- gresS and Oklahoma and Indian Territory joined into one state.
 Arizonians here say this plan would he a much more satisfac- tory solution of the statehood problem than the proposition to admit Arizona and New Mexico as one state.
 Delegate Wilson and Ex- Gov ernor N. 0. Murphy have not given up the fight for Arizona and feel certain that Arizona will go into the Union as a state. When the other territories are admitted they think congress will then pass a bill for Arizona's admission.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

get bill compelling the stamp ing of all gold articles of jewelry with a statement of the fneneSs of the metal, much as is being done in England. It seems a good idea, and it has the sup port of all the first class jewellers the second classers are not quite so enthusiastic.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

The Senate Committee on Territories will begin hearing testimony on March 1. Arizona should be represented at that time by a large delegation of representative citizens.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

Hayti may soon belong to the United States. Why not? She always has revolution, and only needs recognition and an- nexation. That might be ac- complished in a day or two.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

"A typographical error is q hard thing to find in a proof" pertinently remarks a Kansas ex- change, but in the printed and completed paper it looms up like a fat lady in a group of vegeta- rians."
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

One of the tough problems to be solved in building the Pana- ma Canal for which Congress will soon be asked to make inn
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

Utah is still after that part of Arizona which lies north of the Colorado river. We wonder if she will get it.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

A lunatic asylum in Taunton Massachusetts has burned down but the hundreds of inmates were marched out in perfect order, which may show that lunatics are cooler than the average thea tre audience.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20
WANTED.

Unrestricted Forest Reserve Lands, highest cash prices paid. Also have Restricted lands for sale. Correspondence solicited and cheerfully answered.
 w. Il. CLARK. H0lbrook, Ariz.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

When you wish any printing done in an up-to-date manner, call on or write to Lloyd c. Hen ming, Job Printer, St. Johns, Arizona.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

New Mexico wants joint state hood don't. So there you are.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

Advertising rates furnished on application.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

Entered Tn the pOstoffics at St. Johns, ArzOna as SSeOnd-elaSs mali matter, May IA, 1903, under Act of Congress of March 3, 1878.
Snips and the St. Johns herald., 1904-02-20

Subscribe for THE SNlps-HERALD
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-10-01
WELL BACKED UP.

Judge Henry A. Shute, the author of ''The Real Diary of a Real Boy" was born in Exeter N. H., and an Exeter man said of him the other day:
 Harry shute and I used to fish in our childhood. Many a mess of brook trout, perch and horned pout we hooked before we knew how to read or write.
 One day when we were fishing city boy joined us. He sat down on a piece of granite rock, and while we fished he lied to us about city life.
 When he got through I would do a little lying for the country's sake.
 ]" You see that farm over there? [ said. Well, that farm belongs to Cy- rus Skinner, our champeen farmer. Do you know how much butter and cheese Cyrus Skinner makes? Why, he makes a million pounds of butter and a mill lion pounds Of "heese year
 The city hr looked skeptical, and I turned to Shute to back me up. I turned little timidly, though, for Shute was as a rule truthful boy.
 Amt that so. Harry?' said I. Don't Cyrus Skinner make a million pounds of butter and a million pounds of cheese a year?'.
 "'Well,' says Harry. T can't say as ever I heard precisely how much cheese
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-10-01
FUN NEW YoRKERs MISS.

The Buggy Riding of the Country
 Youths and Maids-No Change in
 That.
 "Therer' said the adopted New
 Yorker, as a buggy passed up Fifth
 Avenue with young man and a young woman within, there is a sight
 you don't often see in town. suppose
 buggy riding is not a popular form of amusement in New York It must be too expensive for most of us. When | was down Tn the country
 this summer found that buggy rid
 ing was still much what 1t used to be.
 The girls came out on the front porch f es between 4 and o'clock in the after
 noon, clad in gay light gowns that iuttered with ribbons. They all sat in rocking chairs, and as they rocked
 their ribbons flew about so that could
 not help feeling that they acted almost as signals.
 After the girls had got we'll started | to rocking the young fellows began driving up and down the village street | in shiny new buggies with sleek horses and whips adorned with ribbons. The
 ribbons, I learned, were the gift of
 the girls. Every now and then shiny new buggy would stop in front of one of the porches, and before you could think what was happening one of the girls would be wisked off for a drive
 Some of the young men wore 'dus- ters,' an ugly garment that had
 hardly seen in 20 years. Mostly the girls came back to the porches in time for the 6 o'clock supper I suppose if there had been a moon 3. great deal of the buggy riding would have been done after nightfall
 .sOne thing has changed, though, in the matter of the country buggy; the young fellows buy 1t a good deal cheaper than their fathers bought
 theirs. A good buggy used to cost
 from sl75 to $250. It was often made
 bv the local wheelwright or by a car riage manufacturer in the nearest
 town. When It got out of order it was repaired. and when it's paint began to look i'll 1t was repainted. Buggy owr-
 CTS used to pay $50 or $60 to have their
 bugggies put in perfect order, and it. used to be said that such a buggy, fresh from the repair shop, was as
 good as new. A buggy would last 10 years or more.
 1T asked one of the young men down in the village what good buggy cost, and he said he never paid more than $50 for his He bought a new one
 every two years, and rarely put dol- lars worth of repairs on his buggy. When he was ready for a new one he took the old one, which was really new according to earlier standards, to the local agent of Western manu-
 faeturer, and the agent would allow l him $fO or sl5 for the vehicle. Thus he 1 always had buggy in perfect condi- \ ton, one that never rattled and was in J no danger of breaking down. i s'In 10 years he spent on vehicles l about two thirds as much as his father I used to spend, and the old man always l had something the matter with his ] buggy.
 What became of the old buggies? We'll down there they were sold to the colored people, Thrifty colored men | were able to buy q buggy five or six years. The price was not above SS0, | and it might be less. The construction must be pretty good, for a whole | family would ride to church in one of
 these buggies." "-New York Sun. |
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-10-01
ghe gn,1ruaI aud Courier

BY CARRIERS IN THE CITY. 12 CENTS 4 WEEK, 60 CENTS 4 MONTH, s3 FOR SIX MONTHS. S6 A YEAR. THE SAME TERMS BY MAIL
 SINGLE COPIES, CENTS. .-... -
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-10-01

With the wireless telegraphy and the elaborate code of signals of the present day AIr. Townsend's pen picture of two vessels, meeting on the ocean eighty years ago, is worthy of note.
 There is something pleasing in the sight" he wrote. Whether it is pro- duced in the novelty of the sight of anything independent of the desolate ocean and the little occurrence on ship board, or that each vessel for the mo- ment considers herself as the represen- tative of her country and is conscious that her conduct is viewed in a nation al and not in an individual light, can not determine. But it Is certain that 1t always produces in me an effect In a measure lifting or eleetrifytng.
 Before any questions are asked on either side, the person who undertakes to hail first makes an exclamation through a trumpet sounding more like hurrah than anything I know of. I have endeavored to ascertain what 1t is that they attempt to pronounce, but as they know not themselves I failed ito find out. luNeHtII II ID q MdIiiIhB " tAAc ptA.AA to pay attention to what is about to be said, The next exclamation is: What is your name?' soon followed by From whence are you, pray? Where are you bound?' How long have you been out?' and Whats your longitude?
 After this is over the interrogator gives the other a chance to put thesame question to him. Then the following icompliments are exchanged: Are you in want of anything? and Il wish you a pleasant voyage, whereupon the col ors are hauled down and the ships con tinue on their respective courses.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-10-01
TAXPAYERS

TAXPAYERS Are hereby notified that the Board of Assessors of the City of New Haven, will be in session at Room No. s, City Hall, every week day from October 1st 1904, until November 1st, 1904, inclusive for the purpose of receiving lists of all persons owning property, real and per- sonal. subject to taxation In this city. If any resident taxpayer neglects or refuses to hand in list, made and sworn to as prescribed by law Sickness or absence from the city being no excuse), the assessors must make out list, and add thereto ten per centum, as required by law.
 Power of attorney can not be made use of in making oath to list, nor can the husband make oath to list of prop erty of the wife, in which he has no ifl- terest, nor contrariwise, the wife for the husband.
 Each parcel of real estate must ba separately described.
 Office hours from 3 a. m. until D. un., except on Saturdays. when the Hall wifi be closed at 1 D. m.
 Signed,
 EDWARD F. MERRILL,
 OSCAR F. IVES.
 JOHN J. HOGAN.
 TIMOTHY F. CALLAHAN.
 THEODORE H. MACDONALD, s30-Sot Board of Assessors.