New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-01-02
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Indians are getting thoroughly civilized Cen
eraI Pleasant Porter the last chief OF the Creek
Indian nation. is sufferer from that highly civil
lied disease known govt III had stuck to
the life OF my youth" he says. Il should not be
sufferer from any such trouble used to live
out OF doors. sleep the ground and eat plain
food. Then was healthy. Oh. but this govt hurts,
1t just compels you to swear. A religious friend
told me ought TO pray for relief. Maybe so. but
us easier 10 swear. and TO be more natural"
Chief Porter. who Is seventy years old. has
been leader OF his nation for over half century.
Representative James Kennedy. Of Youngstown.
Ohio. has been taking liberties with his boyhood
friend. Representative Hogs. OF Colorado Desiring
TO introduce Mr.. Hogg to Representative Hedge. of
Iowa. Mr.. Kennedy led his friend around to the
Iowan's desk. "Hedge-Hogg," was his laconic
exclamation as the TWO met
The Brute-what you thinking of. Mamie
Mani Be-, am t areaming OF my my, youth: ,,
your eyes.-(Princeton Tiger.
pay compliments. but after
Heater? Why. after. we do better: pay
bs.-(Lne.
A British amateur who delights in handling his
self-motor without hiring a professional
driver in recountlng his experiences. said that he
had run into tree while his machine devour-
ing space at the rate OF seventy miles hour. he
had pushed his three miles a dinner party
while he was wearing evering clothes. had walked
nine miles In order TO get petroleum, had been
turned twice. had been away with twice for
ward and three times backward and had gone
through many other arduous and exciting advent
ures. yet he not discouraged.
THE CORRESPONDENCE SCHOOL,
CVide back pages of all the magaznes)
Are you satisfied with your present salary
We teach the actors art by mail
AS Armour & Co. have agreed to take
All the raw hams which we can make
Can you play tune fine tooth combT
We train virtuosi by mail. at home;
NJ. Pat de Reszke. the famed musician
GUARANTEES ara na each t, pupil a M hne position
Whereby each stick may become Pole.
That you haven't genius for literaturef
our Mr.. Reilly gives special care
To every poet whom prepare,
And gives his personal guarantee
That one OF his poems shall be printed. free
We will make your fortune here and now.
Our Finance by Mail will tell you how.
We, guarantee the success Of each
And every pupil that may teach.
As our Mr. Morgan agrees to take
All money that all of our students mako
II you sicky and puny and pale,
We teach you to lift a horse by mall.
Have you had misfortune? Are you In jailr
Would you learn to write these ads? '' Don't fail
To study our system-taught by mail.
brooklyn Life.
II seems that the hippopotamus is to be exter-
minated. 1t Is hardly probable that the hlppopota-
Will enjoy this. but 1t will be a good thing for
mankind. according 1.-THE London Globe" The
intelligent animal constantly attacks boats fields
and gardens, and what he does not eat' Says an
authority The sits on" Now he Is himself 10 be-
sat on. We trust that those in charge OF tho CAM
paign viii remember the advice OF one OF our fore
most naturalists and shoot the hippopotamus with
bullets made OF platinum For II they use the
other kind. his hide will surely iatten EN-.
Etnel-That young that goes around with
Myrtle Is quite Impressive ;.s r looking
Ethel-Nhat is he-p2ytng teller cashier7
Maude-Well. l think he only does the sweeping
and the errands understandable Journal
writer in 1.-THE Pharmaceutical Journal re-
marks that considerable traffic is carried on In
the present time in the bones OF the tahr the
native name for the wild goat. Capra jernanica
which frequents steep tree covered slopes of the
Himalayan range and which bones are exported
to India, being employed ina gnary never
falling remedy for rheumatism. Again. the antlers
of Altai wapit. of the deer tribe are exported
it Is said TO China. realizing a very high price,
poses while the horns of the Samaritan rhinoceros
are imported by. and valued In. the same country
as a supposed means OF counteractins disease
Humor of u Subjective strikers were picketng
the entrance OF alley during the strike at the
factory OF the Kellogg Switchboard and Supply
Company In Chicago last Nav A non-union man
street. One of the strikers picked up brick As
he looked at It expression OF disgust came over
his face and he threw it down.
Why didn't you throw 1t at that scab asked
because 1t is non-union brick."-Cworlds
Work