Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1904-07-22
STORlETTES.

Now, children" said teacher M
Germantown school not long spcs
")et us see what you remember abonS
the animal kingdom and the domestic
animals that belong to it. You hays
named all the domestic animals h,E
one; who can tell me what that On,
is?" No one answered. 1T has b-s.
" hair, likes the dirt, and is fond !, \
getting into the mud" limited thu \
teacher, helpfully; cant you think
Tommy" she asked, encouraginglvH
OF small boy. Its me-" said Tom
my, refectively.
William c. Gotshall, president n Il
the New York and Port Cheste,
Railway, was recently a dinner CUES,
at the Authors Club. One of M
Gotshall's literary friends had pr.
viously volunteered to send Mr.. Got.
shall one Of Gilbert Parker's most in,
teresting books Have you received
The Right Of Way as yet?" INQUIRED
the literateur. mo" responded Mr.
Gotshall. sadly. thinking Of his fran.
chise grant held up by the board O,
aldermen, "the board Of aldermen
hasn't passed 1t yet
The late George Francis Train wa,
| once dining in fashionable restaur.
ant where the insist ent attentions nj
colored waiter were very ANNOYING
Say" said Mr. Train, "if you don't
bother me for the next fifteen minutes
I'll place something beneath my plate
thof'n 1yn
colored gentleman bowed courteously
and anticipatingly waited in the rear
After Mr.. Train had left his seat, the
waiter turned the plate and there
found something which not only mads
his mouth water. but his teeth CRATE
a piece of chewing gum.
Senator Quay and a friend were
talking about young man who was
leading rather gay life. The sena.
tor insisted that the boy was all
right at heart. And I have no doubt"
he added, that Tom will pull up when
he reaches the age of discretion"
EYES," rejoined Quay's friend, but
what would you call the age of discre,
tion?" '"As a rule" answered the
senator, 4 should say that young
fellow has reached the age Of discre.
ton when he removes from his walls
the pictures of actresses, and substi-
tutes therefor portrait of his wealthy
bachelor uncle"
A friend of Philip Verill Mighels,
author of "Bruvver Jim's Baby tells
this story of him. Mr.. Mighels was in
London at the time, and one morning
he informed Mrs. Mighels that he
had several errands, and would not
be back for some hours. He was 60
ing to see lawyer, a doctor, and
literary agent, and after his business
was attended to, he would crafty an
old wish of his and go to see Gold
smiths grave. After very brief
period. to Mrs. Mighels's surprise, he
returned. why" exclaimed his wife.
"how did you accomplish so much in
such a short time?" Because" said
Mr.. Mighels. "the lawyer the doctor,
and the literary agent were all out
The only one in was Goldsmith"
In connection with Lord Curzon's
return to England, this story is being
told in London: An American globe
trotter dining with some English
friends In Calcutta was asked if Amer
leans took any interest in India. ooh.
yes" was the Americans reply, land
they have some reason to do so. One
day I met lady I knew in railway
carriage, and I handed her a news
paper in which was a paragraph head
ed, India and Lady Curzon.' She
settled down to read it with close
attention, and when she had finished
remarked to her: You seem inter-
ested in that item about India Yes
she said 4 am. When that young
man came out here and married little
Mary Letter I always said she would
ma e a man of him, and so she has,"
It is related that recently Russell
Sage bought paper Of newsboy,
then, discovering that it was of the
vintage of the day before. demanded
and received his cent back. The news
boy INDUCED in bitter "Reminiscences as
SolloWs: Say, wasn't that the limit?
Can't bunko that old Teller, with az
his money, but he bunkoed me, t'otherr
day, and | wanted to get square. Tell
youse how it was. The old man came
along, took a pape often me, then dirs
Gown in his pocket and fishes out
coin. He opens me hand. puts the
coin in it, closes me fingers over the
coin, and gives me hand a pat. Well,
say! | fought sure | had dime er q
but when I opens me hand
dere's nothn' but a cent, just the
price Of the pape! Wasn't that a
bunko game? An l couldn't get
square,"