The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-05-07
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real nder."-Chicago Post.
MAUD said something clever about
that rich Chicago uncle of hers"
What was itT" "She said he was
born with a silver pie-knife In his
uth."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
How it felt: Maggie say, Chin
mie, when yer look inter dat restau-
rant winder don't 1t make yer mout'
water? Jimmie-Water? Hully gee!
it makes me mout' feel like ship
buildin' Hust.-Ex.
Nodd-Awfully sorry to hear your
house burned down. Did you save
anything? Todd-Oh, yes. After some
very lively work we succeeded in get
ting out all the things we didn't want.
Town and Country. E~
Easy error: La Montt-Made ter
rible blunder to-day. Saw a man in a
rubber suit and cap, and asked him if
he was sewer-cleaner. La Moyne-
Who was he7 La Millionaire
chauffeur.-Chicago News.
well, SNOWFALL" said the patron to
the dusky waiter, "how did you ever
come by a name like that "Well,
sab, was born in Chicago. Reckon
yer never seed a Chicago SNOWFALL,
sah!-Yonkers Statesman.
II hear you're dissatisfied with your
doctors bill" Eyes, don't think he's
entitled to two hundred and fifty dol
lars for that operation" "Why notT
Because If he was he'd claim more"
philadelphia Public Ledger.
A way she has: Morton-Is Mrs.
Styles much Of a talker? Norton
Much Of a talker I should say sol
1t is impossible for her to play soil
taire intelligently-she has SO much to
say to herself, you know."-Boston
Transcript.
A question:: She-Charles, dear,
how many teeth does a baby haveI
He-I don't know. But think that,
after the way I've walked the floor for
the last six months, ours ought to have
at least hundred and fifty by this
time-Detroit Free Press.
Howes-Don't like this cold wealth
er, Ell? Why, only last summer you
were complaining Of the heat. Barnes
Not Of the heat itself, but rather be
cause Of its untimeliness. 1t would be
all right If reserved for such weather
as this.-Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Trucker think shall give uT
my business, my dear. might as wei
have some good out Of my money. Mrs
Trucker-Oh, not yet, Samuel. Blu
whep one of US dies. shall give VI
housekeeping and see little of tn
world.-Town and Country.
Wife-There was a man around to
day selling big brass burglar alarm
bells to put on the front of the house
SO 1 ordered one. Husband-What
You know we haven't anything wort
stealing. Wife, know, but 1t vii
make the neighbors think we have
Philadelphia Ledger.
Editor in Chief. Ito Office boy)--Ber
ME, where's the theater tickets l sen
you after? Bennie-I forgot 'em. Cit
Editor-Bennie, where's that paste
, sent you for? Bennie-I forgot il
Sporting Editor-Bennie, what wa
? Jack Glasscock's battin' average i
1888? Bonnie (promptly)-Three hui
bred and eighty six.-Cleveland Leat
! er.
Turpin-Come with me to the zoI
) Jenks--No, thank you. I'll stay 6
: home. My oldest daughter does til
D kangaroo walk, my second daughte
: talks like a parrot, my son laughs lik
e a hyena, my wife watches me like
s hawk, my cook is as cross as a bea
s and my mother-in-law says I'm an oil
J. gorilla. When I go anywhere 1 wal
4 a change.-Tit-Bits.
Y Icy.-"D1dn't you git no money fro
t dat woman yer held up2" asked Il
S first footpad. "Naw,". replied the OF
: er, shivering slightly; "she wuz fro
b Boston" "Well, Boston people hi
:, money" "Mebbe dey has, but .wh'
: seq to her, Money or yer life, lad!
n she SEE, How dare ye speak ter n
s widout de formality of Introduction
d SEE she, an leaves me froze stiff" ~
+ Philadelphia Press.
}, 81 thought" said the irate stra
u hanger, you claimed when trying
get the franchise that you proposed
build the road for the benefit Of t
e public" my dear SIR" replied the (
Ii rector of the soulless corporation, W
occasionally condescended to patroni
q his own cars, 1.-The road was built
(, the benefit Of the public. but 1t is r
u for the benefit of the officials. Chic
= go Daily News.
! There was once a minister in Hal
q ford" says Mark Twain, who had
n lot of boys in his Sunday school w
l. were in the habit Of staying away
the Sunday when the big steamer Ci
IN of Hartford locked In the morning.
l. zone Sunday the minister car
. l.. S,,pdov school on6 found