davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19

affairs did not look right te me so
promptly declared myself out of it. So
dld the chief and the alderman, and it
was up TO Garvey, and, as matter OF
course, there was only one answer to
expect from him. He was not likely to
see that sort Of a game go out of his
house, so he took the third hand and
tne game was resumed on the new
basis without delay.
watched it to it's close, which was
inside OF the half hour agreed upon
Tor T1bbets, after losing $4,000 in
money put up his business at valua-
ton OF $4,000 Git was badly fneumbered,
and lost that, too. quitting the game a
bankrupt
There wouldn't have been anything
strange about that, even if it had been
a square game, but it was not. 1 tried
hard to detect Garvey in some trick
with the cards, but he was a slick one.
If he was crooked could not catch
him, though 1 had made up my mind
to rough in if I had caught him. 1t
would have meant a fight, of course.
but reckoned on that, too.
But what did see, and what could
not be proved, though i was surprised
that Tibbets didn't see it, was that
Garvey and the mayor were playing to-
gether.
"Of course Tibbets had no show He
4uAl tAC game quietly SIlOuS0 ana CDo
next day he quit the town. So far as
know he never went back.
II had an interview with the mayor
next day myself in which I told him,
when he asked me why was going to
leave, that I didn't care to remain as
counsel to any man who played as good
game of poker as he did.
There was a dark red flush on his
face as he answered me, but his voice
was perfectly even as he advised me to
go back East and take a further course
Of study before going into practical
politics. I told him / thought the ad-
vice was good. and / followed it."
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19

he had constructed turned turtle on her
trial trip
You ought to name he the Snapper
Noah" said this Individual
And why. pray2" demanded the pa.
triarchal shipbuildeF
Because she has turned turtle" laugh
ed the scofYer
Ha, haf' said Noah. with an amused
look on his face. GOOD joke. And do you
know what my advice to you is?"
NO" replied the scoffer
Turn turtle yourself. When the flood
comes you'll stand a better show said
Noah.
Some time later. when the food was at
its height. Noah looked out of the pilot
room window one morning.
"Oh for q Schwab!" he said
what for-to schwab the deckS?" ask
ed Shenl, who was something of a pun
ster.
NO retorted Noah, with frown; eve
need an expert to squeeze the water out
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19

leaving the structure with the label,
'SamSon'S Water Tower conspicuousIy
on its base, standing in front of the din
ing room window
The label, of course, divulged the iden-
tity Of the joker and an attempt to pun
ish the youth in the usual fashion enr
sued, when the discovery was made that
Samson was to all intents and purposes
made of iron, for with the first impact the
avenging hand of his father was broken
in three places.
1t was decided at this moment to let
the child follow his bent from that time
on without further interference from par
entail authority.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19
His Little Trick With Coins

young man employed in a whole
sale house down town presented a
check at a Wall street bank the other
day, and while the money was being
counted out amused himself by bal
ancing coins on the edge of the paying
teller's window. He first balanced a
silver dollar so that it stood on edge.
then placed half dollar edge to edge
on top of 1t, and completed the pyra-
mid with a bright new quarter. His
manipulation as he deposited the coins
one on the other was Beautifully deli
cate, and the spectacle Of all three
standing without support made the
teller's eyes protrude from their
sockets.
why. that's perfectly amazingl" he
exclaimed. IT wouldn't have believed
1t could be DONE The other attaches
looked and marveled.
1T takes a steady nerve to do it,"
said the young man, carelessly, and
sweeping the coins with a dexterouS
grab he dropped them into his pocket,
picked up his money and strolled out.
1t was not busy hour. and after he
was gone all hands began balancing
silver, or, rather, trying to. The thing
was as fascinating as the old pigs I'm
clover" puzzle. because one could come
so near without doing 1t.
Nearly everybody succeeded in ball
ancing the first dollar, and few man
aged to poise the 50-cent piece for an
infinitesimal, breathfess instant. but IT.
always fell down again, and that was
as far as any one could get. For an
hour or SO there was silver all over the
floor. and the bookkeeper had to make
good a dollar that rolled into a crack.
Next day the dexterous young man
sauntered In with another check.
1--WE were all trying that balancing
trick Of yours yesterday remarked the
teller. reading over the bills, ''but none
OF us could do Ii. You're right when
you say 1t takes steady nerves.
"Y-e-s." rephed-the young man, grin
ming. "and It's also facilitated by q lit
tie cohbler's WAX on the edge Of the
coins"
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19

when the windows are wide open and
the guitars are stunning in Elizabeth
street When only a boy Menichetti
was wont to amuse himself. according
to popular legend by playing leapfrog
with a bull. He would hold the beasts
horns for a moment and then vault
over the huge back.
Before Europe was convulsed with
that series of social revolutions which
ended in the establishment of the first
French republic there was an era when
kidnapping was as prevalent as is auto
MODELLING today. A child of wealth was
never permitted to leave the house un-
less under guard. like some miniature
car. Men and women were in equal
danger, and if husband failed to re-
turn at night the wife naturally con-
cluded that he had been kidnapped. Con-
spirat0rs were ever rubbing heads over
plots to abduct princes, so that the
ransom paid should make them inde-
pendent of the vicissitudes Of their pro-
fesss0a for the rest ef their Hssss
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19
\ DO NOT REMIND MYSELF OF Mr..
ROOSEVELT SO MUCH AS fIR. ROOSEVELT
REMINDS NE OF HHSELF
HAVE ever been a fond student Of
humor. writes Father Time in his
RerOlIeetiOpS of ESoyoo,,- I71,rv,oI,or,


RecOllections of Famous Funmakers,
and have passed many happy hours
IN the company of men and women who
nave made the world weep for pleasure
AS l look back upon the list of humor-
tSts nave known, from Noah to Dooley,
i do not recall one whom it was not
pleasure to meet personally. and while
L prefer the quiet fun of Alfred Austin
10 the strenuous pranksomenesS of Sam
son. L cannot truthfully say that in the
great race for the laurel which should
adorn the humOrist's brow 1 could hon
eStly bring myself to play any single one
for a favOrite.
L may say. however, that for the MAX
ing OF a physical as distinguished from
an intellectual impression the jests of
Samson easily bear away the palm. There
was muscular quality to his humor
which can compare to nothing in nature
short Of the antics of a wild colt just be-
ginning to take notice and the impress
OF one of his jokes can only be character
lied as indelible.
There are some delicate tastes in the
world that would find Samson's Jokes
coarse and possibly vulgar, but it must
be remembered that Samson lived in an
age when humor had not been refined to
the point of nicenesS which is character
tstic of the sentiment today and between
him and his public there stood no editorial
blue pencil for the protection of the latter.
Ii there had been it is proper to assume
that his mad prank in killing ten thousand
Phiistines with the jawbone of an ass
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19

would have been far less fatal in fits re-
suits and somewhat closer to credibilitv
than 1t now seems to be.
incidentally, let me say here that the
report of that episode is wholly free from
e&asgeration. 1 was an eyewitness and
can testify to the fact that the exact
number of Philistines bowIed over mon
that occasion was 1O.OOS by actual count.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19
The Hum0F
OF Noah
NAkkE1 C0RAERED z

ING FTUH70F
OF Noah
0NSIDERING the achievement that
u gained for Noah his greatest fame,
it Is perhaps singular to record
that his humor was excessively dry. 1t
may be said by some that 1t was not so
much fun in which ne indulged as sa
tire.
His comments on things were apt to be
cutting and sarcastic rather than mirth
provoking. AS a case in point, I recall
his reply to one Of the scoffers who made
merry at his expense when the third ark
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19

careful inspection Of British humor
current and past divulges nothing more
monumental in the way Of joke than
this.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19

as the tramp disappeared up the road;
"a hobo?'
Nay nay replied the lad quickly.
No hobo he He Is only another after
dinner speaker"
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19

In, the KIDNAPPING the Western world
has another splendid opportunity of
learning how backward 1t Is. Despite
all the boasts Of Occidental civilization.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-06-19
* . . q 3o q . q % q 900 x q q q q "a q y = q
TibbetS Went Broke When
The Mayor PLAYED i'm Luck

~ u q n q a:f q % q q * u q 9et o.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
coNGREssMEN INNOCENT.
Investigation Committee Makes Its Re
port to the House.

Investigation Committee Makes Its Re-
port to the House.
A Washington specialsays: The re-
port of the special committee OF the
house appointed to investigate the re-
port from the postoffice department
prined under the caption Charges Con.
cerning Members of Congress" was
made to the house Monday by Chair
man Mccall. The g:st OF the report IS
contained in the following paragraph:
AFTER a careful consideration of all
cases specified in the report numbered
1895 (the report of the postofice COM
mittee on charges), in so far as they
relate to the present members OF the
house of representatives on committee
assumed to be the limit Of their jurls-
dicion, they have unanimously reached
the conclusion that nothing has ap-
peared in connection with the charges
that would justify the finding that any
member of the house Of representa-
tives has profted financially in the
slightest degree, or that any member
was guilty Of improper conduct in con-
nection Herewith, or that any member
has done in connection with any Ut
said cases anything that did not ap-
pear to be within the line of his official
duty, according to long established GUS
tom"
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Picking Cotton.

Reapiag the wheat a handful at 4
time would be on par with the pres
ent method Of gathering our immense
cotton crops.
Did the reader ever think what it
means to pick out one Of our ten MIR
lion bale crops of cotton? Did you ever
stop to think that at least fifteen billion
pounds of raw cotton must be picked
from the bolls by hand? That is an
almost incalcfllable amount, yet that is
what the crop means, and what the
manual labor is that gets it out lock
at a time. The limits Of our cotton
crop are to a great extent fixed by the
ability to get it out and ready for
the market-not only to get it ready
in time, but to get as much of it out
as possible during good weather before
the cold and wet of winter injure the
staple and interfere with the work of
picking it out.
But we are persuaded that success
full machine would not prove an un-
mixed blessing for this section or for
the farmers generally.-Montgomery
(Ala.) Advertiser.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
GAMMoks MAKES CONFESSION.
Tells Of Killing Farmer kimsey and
His DAUGHTER, Fannie.


A dispatch from Jackson, Miss.
says: Ed Ganmons, the young white
man who killed Lake Kimsey, OF Wa.
ter Valley, and his daughter, Fannie,
has made confession in regard to
the killing OF Mr.. Kimsey.
In his confession he, for the tlrst
time, tells of the killing OF the GIRL
with whom he was in love.
He says that when he went to the
house after killing her father In the
field, he told the girl about it, and they
at first planned to run away. and get
married, but he says the girl suddenly
changed Ter mind, and asked him to
kill her, which he says he refused
to do at first. Then she tried to snatch
the pistol from his hand, whereupon
he told Ter to step off a few PAGES and
turn her back, which she did, anu
then he shot her.
First Minister from Paraguay.
Don Cecilo Baez, envoy extraoroina
nv and minister plenitpoteutiary to
the United Staes from Paraguay, was
received by President Roosevelt at
the white house Saturday, Secretary
of State Hay presenting the. new min
ister
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Great Show Given by Negroes.


Whether any Of the negroes in Co
lumbia ever heard of the Passion
Play" of Oberamnergau is question
but they certainly attempted something
along similar lines at their Easter
celebration, says a correspondent of
The Atlanta Constitution.
The specially dramatic feature was
five women at the sepulchre, dressed
in mourning robes, wearing crowns,
stuck full of tiny candles. These cir,
culated about the tomb of Jesus, a
lack box, asking in thrilling tones:
Where have they laid Him."
Then a great angel came forth-all
in white. (This was a colored man
wearing a gown with sleevs that lift
ed up by raising the arms, caused
him to look as if he had wings). He
said to the women:
He is not here! He is risen!"
Then the women marched up and
down the aisles intoning the words,
Christ is risen; Christ is risen in
deed!"
They had a star in the east and the
Magi, and many incidents of the life
of Christ illustrated in songs and
speeches, and a mighty wave Of eX-
citenent was engendered by the vivid
realism.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
The Cry Of the Clergy.

The service held at st. Paul's CaShe'
dral in connection with the Queen Vic
torla Clergy Fund drew attention 10
the conditions under which thousands
of clergymen do their work. Within
the last ten years over 100 clergymen
of the Church of England have been
admitted to the warehouses and paH.
per lunatic asylums in England and
Wales. More than half Of the Wears
and rectors arc living on incomes not
one Of which exceeds i3 los. week,
and 1911 of them would gladly ex.
change their revenues for a weekly II.
London Paper.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
JAP OFFICERS CAPTURED.
Were Preparing to Blow Up Railroad
eridqe When Surprised.

An Associated Press dispatch says:
Two officers Of the Japanese general
staff have arrived at Harbin, under
strict escort, having been arrested by
the railroad guard eighteen miles from
the city. They were dressed as Thib.
etan Lamas.
In attempting TO escape they for
sock their tents, in which were found
sixty pounds of high explosives,
fuse, a string of keys to unscrew rail
road nuts, etc. They evidently in
tended to blow up the bridge over the
Nonni river, near Fullardi.
The prisoners displayed great cool
ness, confesing that it was their inten'
ton to destroy the railroad.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Crum's Name Up Again.

4 Washington special says: The
nomination Of W. D. Crum to be
collector of customs at Charleston, S.
c., was called up in executive ses'
sion of the Senate by Senator Gal
linger.
Senator Tillman, who opposed the
confirmation, explained that he was
not we'll enough to make a speech
and the nomination went over out OF
courtesy to him. Senator Tillman ex
poets soon to return to his home in
South Carolina and possibly may not
be able to attend congress again be-
fore adjournment.
In that event the nomination prob
ably will fail of confirmation and the
president will make another recess ap'
pointment to hold over <until the next
session.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Naval Hospital for Charleston.

It. is announced at the navy depart
ment at Washington that it is the
present intention of the Surgeon Gen.
eral Rixey to provide large hospital
for the naval station at Charleston,
there being no modern hospital Of the
service south of Norfolk.
Surgeon General Rixey, who has
just returned from his visit of inspec-
ton at Port Royal, has made some
important recommendations in regard
to the establishment at the place Of
an outdoor hospital for the treatment
of tuberculosis patients of the SER
vice.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Drauued to His Death.

News has been received of the ac-
cidental death of Nathan Oxner, a
citizen of Saluda county. Oxner was
driving two-horse team, the wagon
being loaded with shingles. In
some way the horses became fright
ened, the wagon was overturned and
Mr.. Oxner was dragged along the
ground until he was killed.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21

i! SOUTH CAROLINA
( STATE NEWS ITEMS.
COMPTROLLER to Blacklist Them.

A Columbia dispatch says: There
has been so many complaints recent
ly to the comptroller general about
wild cat insurance companies that he
will shortly issue black list contain
ing the names of the companies who
have not paid their license Of $1OO
for the year. Should an adjuster fol
an unlicensed concern come into the
state he is liable to arrest.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
A Trolley Line to Atlanta.

Great interest is being taken in the
proposed electric railway from South
Carolina to Atlanta, Ga. A number
of business men of Hoschton, Ga,
have advertised in the county news
papers for charter.
Those who are applying for char
ter are: John R. Hosch, w. P. De
La Perriere, R. A. Hosch, j. E. Hill,
H. J. Sell, G. Braselton and L. F..
Sill.
The charter for the road will call
for a road to pass through or near
Stone Mountain, Logansville, Hosch'
ton, Jefferson, Commerce and Carnes-
vile, all Georgia towns,
The citizens in and near Hoschton
met Monday, April 18th, in the in
terest of the railway.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
British Officers Studying Japanese.

A small, Industrious body Of British
officers are at Toxic, engaged in the
"study Of the Japanese language" Ar.
rangements for their despatch and re-
ception had been concluded before the
war broke out. Obviously, with Japan
for our ally, it was necessary that the
British officers should be cognizant Of
her language, since at. any: time they
might be called upon to, serve side by
side with their new allies in the field.
They are now taking advantage OF
their presence to watch and to gather
ideas from the japanese arrangements
for mobilization and transport of
troops. The officers will remain twa
years.-London Daily Mail.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Relieving the Taxpayers.

A Columbia news item states that
the county auditor is now busy giving
the taxpayers in the lower part of the
county who suffered from the destruc-
tive floods and hail storms last June,
release on the taxes to which each is
liable.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Sergeant Reynolds Killed.

Relatives of Sergeant Ernest Reyn-
olds, who live at Bennettsville, have
lust receied a cablegram stating that
he was killed in battle near Manila,
a fe wdays ago. He was torn to pieces
bv a cannon ball and died instantly.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
SUNDAY School Workers to Meet.

The official program of the Ses-
sion of the twenty-seventh annual
state Sunday school convention Which
meets in Columbia May "a. has been
issued by DR.. W. E. Pelham, OF
Newberry. chairman of the executive
committee.
In the list of speakers are many OF
much prominence in Sunday scnool
work, not only in this state, 5us
throughout the south. The convention
is looked forward to with much IN
terest. .-..
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Machinist Meets Death.

The new span of steel bridge be.
ing built over Seneca river, twelve
miles from Anderson, collapsed
few days ago. Daniel Allen, ma
chemist from Rome, Ca, was killed.
Clifton Brogden, another machenist,
and a negro were painfully injured.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Bio Shortage at Dispensary.

The dispenser at Prosperity, A. l..
Beenbaugh, had been reported shu
Beenbaugh, has been reported short
something over $1,000.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21

Miss Sophronia Jennie Noodle
Studied hygienic twaddle,
I'LL she got it in her noddle
That she couldn't live on food
And she used to sit and ponder
On the happy Over onder
Where the hosts angelic wander,
And on such things she would brood.
Nothing not by art digested
Misg Sophronia moiested,
And she got herself infested
With the cerec.itiS fad.
Till the little w. created
In her skull evaporated,
And her common sense was slated
To 20 siumping to the bad.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
JUDGE Simonton Very Ill.

United States Circuit Judge Chas.
H. Simonton is precariously i'll, and it
is feared that he will not survive many
days. He is under treatment in Phila-
delphia, and latest reports say that
there is slight hope for him.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Collector for Georgetown.

President Roosevelt has sent to the
senate the nomination of Collector of
Customs Isaiah J. McCottrie, OF the
district of Georgetown, S. G.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Imnroyement Company Chartered.

Improvement VO''Fo'y
The secretary Of state has issued
a charter to the Aiken Improvement
Company, with capital stock OF $780,
900. The business of the company is
the development Of real estate by IL
yestment and handling bonds and Sc
curities.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21
Woman Commits Suicide.

Mrs. Lizzie Goodson, formerly OF
North Carolina, but who has been llV-
ing in Pickens county for the past TWO
years, committed suicide a few days
ago by hanging herself
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21

She ate hay and wheat and barley,
She clewed soap-nuts small and gnarly,
With steak she ne'er would par.ey,
Nor with solid stuff like that;
But she stuck with grim persistence
TO her predigest existence,
And she fought with firm resistance
All temptation to get fat.
So in course of time she grew to
Be part of what she's chew to-
Ready Oats she ate at 2.Gc
And Aseptic bran at 4;
At lust 5 she'd cat her dinner
OF Dust Corn (that was winner!).
AS she kept on growing thinner
She asepticized the more!
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21

Well, this tale must have an ending,
And it is no use pretending.
That the end We are intending
Is triumph, for it amt.
Miss Sophronia Jennie Noodle,
With her hygienic twaddle.
Through eternity will toddie
As predigested saint: -.
The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1904-04-21

In the house Monday the demo
Gratis made sharp move by offering
amendments to that part Of the gene
raj deficiency appropriation measure
providing for service pensions. Point
of order was made by republicans that
amendments violated existing law. The
democrats replied that the house had
the same rights. as the president.
Senator Nelson, of Minnesota, dur
ing 1.:bate, surprised his brother sen
ators by using the word damn"
New York democrats, in state con-
vention at Albany. instructed delegates
to vote for Judge Alton Brooks Par
ker for president.
mississippi democrats favor Par
ker, but will not instruct delegates.
Man and wife found dead in each
others arms In lodging house at o.
den. Utah. 1t is thought that woman
poisoned husband and then herself.
Major Hugh Dennis, who defended
Senator Burton, is dead at st. Louis
his demise being brought about by
brooding over outcome of trial.
The hwearing on the demurrer pro
ceedings instituted by Sully. in New
York, which was to have been neld
Monday, was postponed until Thurs;
day.
The daily tribune., 1904-05-18
Notice.

Notice.
Will these. who have any photo
graphs Of their homes. or business
blocks. kindly bring the same to the
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE? We
also want photographs Of churchee.
school houses, lodges. ETC.. at once to
select views for our Worlds Fai.
Book.
1t will save quite an expense and
delay If we can get . prompt reply
from those having such photographs
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE.