Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-12-31
BECGARS ARE QUAINT.
They Take a Peculiar View Of Life, and
Seem to Think They A.c Con
fe--i1g 4 Favor.

whcn TIE audience would Lot have that
be voiuujeere! series OF ghetto humor-
Dgs stories.
In order 20 understand and appreciate
these st0rie. 10 the fullest extent Alr.
X3aEWlH began. 'y0H n&&t remember
chat tire bcGgar az the ghetto differs from
The ordinary b~-gar one secs about the
street He gives you no reason for de-
handing yoat sympathy and assistance,
He wo8!d NOT think Of exhibiting wood
en- lee or pretending To be blind. lie COLI
sldFIS himself quite your equal lie
makes The mos, OF the fine theories Of
the brotherhood Of Israel and universal
man. His idea - that all your posses
sions alr his and That all his are his own.
he Is the Philanthropist
"TIe really considers himself the philaI-
thr0plst. NGu know, one gets to heaven
only through charity ana good works. If
he was Iot there You might not have the
opportunity to give. and You might thus
so to some less desirable place when you
die. If you lei him talk to yen long
enough be viii convince You THAR you are
really the one who IS indebted aud that
no is granting Il great fayor in letting
you contribute. Now for the stories:
There Was certain Jewish beggar
in londcn who for a long time had been
receiving 81 4 weelto put it in Amer-
can mouey-fr0m a puHanthroDist. One
week the man handed tho bcagar only 30
cents and the beggar ut once demanded
Why his allowance had been cut in two.
He Preferred Torquay.
- cannot afford to give you so much
now, said the philanthropist. 1 have
just been married
" What" exclaimed the beggar You
sec married on my money!
l. # H.,
whose lungs were bad. He gained the
interest of some well-to-do persons.
We will send you to Brighton they
Sald There you can build up your
health
50 But | don't want to go to Brighton.
objected the bcggar frankly. 1 prefer
Torquay.'
You forget that Torquay is much
more expensive than Brighton. they in
terp0sed
Expense" cried the besgar. Shall
consider expense where my health is CON
ccrned!
wiz leave it to you if lie did not de
stcre Torquay.
Humor Of Marriage Portion
"AIuch Of the humor OF the ghetto has
10 90 with the marriage portion. Many
viii contribute to poor girls dowry
" NJ h1Qiu iEublt uittCI HDIHdlSs / It"
member the tale of one old man who
raised a dowfy each year for one Of his
many daughters. Al last the daughters
were married off, ana his acquaintance
thought they would have no further
bother. 1t was not long until the father
came to them again with the old request
that they help provide a doWry for his
daughter.
But your daughter died two years
ago. Protested one
What if she did, demanded the IA
thcr, Indignantly; why should you profit
hy her death? You are not her heir
There was still another Jewish father,
WHO told a most pitiful story Of the love
his daughter bore young merchant.
She was going into n rapid decline, he
said, because the merchant would not
marry her without a dowrE OF goo and'
there seemed TO he no way of raising il.
1--we got only Gi00.' the father said.
viii you not help me to make NJ the
other tl0O and save my poor daughter
from an untimely, lovelesS graveT
L am short of funds. and cannot
help you, said the one to whom the appli-
cation was made. Why don't you go
40 the young man and offer him the G10O?
He is II good fellow, and will lei you oil
the other hundred
That other hundred is the hundred
that I've got said the begging father.
AS the World Goes Round.
They tell a story of a stingy rich
man who asked a beggar 10 dine with
him. The meal consisted OF fried fish,
which is considered great delcacy in
the ghetto. The fish was served on Il
huge platter. All Of the fine. fat pieces
were on the side near the rich man. The
poor, Shriyelcd up bits were on the beg
CARS side Of the dish.
Help YOURSELF said the rich man.
The heEgGr could not get nj the fine
pieces without reaching clear across the
table and being very iIupolite. He burst
into tears.
" What are you crying for?' asked the
rich man.
The heggar put his hands ON the dish.
/ am crying because year ago
was a rich man, hut as the world goes
found and rouud'-Uo Illustrate. he began
turning the dshl-'and round. | have be
come wretchcdly poor
by this time he had turned the disl
SO that the hne pieces were before him.
'CheCr UP, my good fellow, said the
stiney rich man, and he. too. put hi,
hands ON the dish. You are poor man
tt++tt3, is trur, nut rs tire wufd goes
round and gouAd'-the, in turn, began K
move ne d,Sh} and round. you may be
camr rich again.
U} TINS lllne the me. 1at pieces Of
fish were again ia front Of him, aud thu
meal began without further maueuverng
Lock in My Friends Boot.
"A5 a dinner one night TIVE thieytn.
hcS-ars found themselves at tie board
One of them stole a SILVER spoon ana
slipped il into his boot. The other beg
gar saw HIM and whispered halves
40 such thing declared the frs,
beggar. Every man FOR himself Ii Won
want a silver spoon steal one
For time the second bcggar said
nothing. Then he offered 10 perfor9,
some conjuring tricks He took n silyt,
spoon and slipped it into his boot in mi
view of the other guests. lie mntferaJ
a few magic words.
Now he cried, If Won will lool r.
the boot Of my friend over iherc Won vii,
find the spoon.
There was Il time In Russia whom III,
ruble was very much dpSpiSpd ana In,
deprecated in value. a beggar Who y.1.
thoroughly up to the times eXbibjte.l H..
sign: 'RGhleS Received AZ Far.
1T was in Russia. too. that hs,r.
this story ~ - wonder WORKING rahts
Nv his miracles be had attracted d, -,