The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-02-21
AsroRIAN PUBLISHING COMPANY.
HOW MUCH HASH is TOO MUcHs


Forty one employees of the bar dredge Chinook
have quit their jobs because of an oversupply of
that sacred American dish, hash They have not
been content to quit, to strike and leave the ship
but they have seen fit asswe to abuse an article of
diet that has heretofore been almost much rever-
enced as old glory itself Their attitude in this partc
ular respect will get for them mighty little public
sympathy, for there is no American citizen who has
the right under the constitution or otherwise, to
speak i'll of hash
Christopher Columbus discovered America, but,
compared with the man y who discovered hash,
he was rank lobster 1t will be perceived that Co
lumbus could be referred to as lobster only under
very great provocation. Should he rise from his
grave and seek to overshadow in Importance the
person who discovered hash he would be cried down
by the American people as though he had outraged
the flag The discovery of America was great and
crownng stunt but it took some one of greater re-
sources than an Italian to discover hash. With all
due credit to our departed friend Columbus his ac-
complshment sinks into insignifcance compared
with that Of the person who added hash to the list
of great culinary achievements
We all Of us entertain the kindliest of feeling
for the father of his country. He took us away
from England and made it possible for us to dis
cover Oregon and hold the 1905 fair But who
amongst us licks his chops when he thinks Of Wash
ingtons The first president released us from bond
age and all that sort of thing but we couldn't eat
him. Hash is greater than Washington ever dared
be-and we're not belttling Washington either,
when we say so.
We might 90 on and compare all our great men
jackson, Lincoln, Mckinley, C. J. Curtis and all
the rest with hash; but it would only be waste of
words. None compares with hash, Men grow old
and feeble, but who ever heard of feeble hash Fl
Eventually they peter out and die, but hash sur
wives None is too young nor none too old to par
take of it, Of what other article Of diet can this
be truthfully said9 Mush, you say9 But what 81
mush merely crushed oats or mangled wheat, al
poor shriveling dish with which everybodys famil-
lar absolutely lacking in those mysteries 50 essen
tial to greatness Hash stands out in bold relief on
our national horizon like japanese battleshp on
the Yellow sea- and all else pales beside it.
For century or more none has dared traduce
hash yet away off in this remote corner Of the globe
Al men, with shocking lese majestic, have had the
temerity to quit their jobs because of the quantities
with which they have been provided at their meals
We had hash for breakfast for seven days" they
whimper-"f for seven consecutive days" "Tool
much hashp' What paradox There are millions
OF persons in this old world, but who ever before
heard OF too much hash? It's ridiculous there s
no such thing as too much hash. Every man with
an ounce Of brains feels toward hash as he feels
toward money-the more he gets the more he wants
Those men from the Chinook may offer the hash
complaint in explanation of their action, but we
don't believe it. There must be something else be-
hind this strike, for too much hash is an imposs-
bility.