davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
Best Part of a Hog.

~ George S. Ham. of Gainesville Ga.
IS at SeeIbach's. He tells good story
of himself
sEstt..eI was at a little old-fashioned town
III the southern part of my State some
time ago., he said, where they did
mt know that Lee had surrendered
II was shown to my room in the little
inn they called :the hotel by an old
uncle who shufied as he walked and
whose scant locks We're as white as
the cotton he was evidently used to
picking In place like this town ev-
cry one you meet wants to know your
name and takes great interest in
your personal history and business
The old uncle deposited my suit case,
and before he turned to go l asked
him to fetch p.,cher of water. All
right boss, he said, wnut mousilt
go name be-
= laughingly told him it was Ham
zjustsrememb Der the best part of the
hog, said, and you'll have it. He
shuHed off down the hall and | had
Just about dozad into the land Of nod
whenI was brought back to conscious
ness ny a sharp rap at the door anG
heard the old nan say:
3 1850 = .EIea's yo water, Marse Chitiin :"
- ouisvi11e Herald.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
DANCING AS A DUTY

DR.. G.. Stanley Hall, president of
Clarke University, says dancing
should have place in the general
scheme of education. AS he puts the
matter, eve ought to get over this
narrow. wretched, biSoted prejudice
that proscribes it,
Certainly to get rid of any preju-
dice so bad as the one portrayed
would be uplifting.
Quoting the authority again: II
we reach a golden age l think that
dancing will be more universal Ian
guage than language Itself" He de-
scribes it as expressive beyond music
or speech. To him it appeals as
building up tile gray matter of the
race.
To defend dancing against the
charge of being in itself harmful is
not uncommon but its eXaltation into
the sphere of the virtues is rare. DR..
Hall elevates dancing to a duty.
While the sentiment will be widely
approved to ascribe part OF his aver
ments 10 the exuberant enthusiasm
will be natural. TO hold that the tai
ented toe lightly spurning a waxed
floor can convey more to the senses
than can De conveyed by spoken word
or unspoken melody is almost too Sc
we're. Dancing is to some as inpos-
sible as song to others. The Hall
view would place upon those who do
not dance an unfair handicap. Life
would be dark indeed for the person
with a timber leg. w..
Perhaps it would be proper to won
der respectfully if grace, skill and per-
sistence in dancing won by DR.. Hall
the heaGship Of a university.-New
York Evening World.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13

1t was Il pleasant looking Irishwom-
an, says the Philadelphia Ledger, who
walked into n store and asked the price
of the collars she had seen displayed
in the window.
1.-TWO for Il quarter" said the clerk.
''uow much would that be for one?"
"Thirteen ccntS''
She pondcrcd; then, with her forefin-
ger, she seemed to be making invisible
calculations on the sleeve of her coat.
'.That." she said, would make the
other collar twilve cints. wouldn't it?
Just give me that wan
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
"THE SLEEPLESS ARCH"
old IIInGoo Principle tho Basis OF
All Modern bridges.

Old IIIndoo Principle thc Basis OF
All Modern bridges.
Although the building of great arches
Of masonry dates beyond the ancient
Roman civilization, the principle that
gives strength to the massive stone
bridge of today is the same that built
the bridges of the Roman empire.
The history of bridge building is, to
a large degree, the history of the arch,
whose efficiency lies in the truth of the
old Eindoo saying that 'the arch never
sleeps" because each separate section
of which it consists, beginning at the
keystone, or central section, is con-
stantly pushing against its imnediat tie
neighbors until the pressure finally
reaches the firm foundationZupon which
the structure is erected.
10 secure a perfectly trustworthy
foundation, therefore, the bridge build
er has often to penetrate far below the
surface Of the earth, and not infre-
quently the part Of his structure thus
covered up and concealed is greater
than that visible above ground
1t was their inability to solve the
problem of a trustworthy foundation
that led the ancient Hindoos to dis
trust the arch, arguing that the sleep
less activity that held it together was
equally active in tearing it to pieces.
Not only is the modern bridge builder
skilled in setting his structure on Il
firm base. but thoroughly acquainted
with the time honored materials for
his work, to say nothing of new ma
terials, and an important part of his
student training in such modern schools
as the Massachusetts Institute of Tech
nology is devoted to methods of test
ing materials during construction that
would have surprised and delighted
even the most accomplished of the an
Gent Roman engineers.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
A Home Thrust.

There is q good story told about the
late Henry Bergh. While walking
about the streets of New York city one
morning he saw q teamster whipping a
ballly horse.
''Stop that, you BRUTE" he exclaimed,
cor I'll have you locked up inside Of
five minutes! Why don't you try kind
ness on the animal? Don't you sup
pose a horse can be reached by kind
word the same as a human being?"
II b'Iieve ye're right, sor,' replied
the teamster quick witted Irishmhn,
who, with all his faults of temper, was
not q bad man at heart, "an' if q harse
has feelin's sor, don't We s'pose his
dhrivcr has too? Thry Il koind wor-rd
on the dhriver, if ye pFase.''
The stern face of Mr.. Bergh relaxed
into a smile. and in the better under
standing TINT followed the horse for
got that it was baking and started Off
in a trot.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
HEROIC REMEDIES.

&1hfpnfnS ~ fSfns X Isrcscrfbed ST. 0nG5
Time 4 or I1Iss,rlity and Fits.f3s
III healtl is a bad thing at any time
but $50 years ago lit was made more
terribIeby the remedies in use. Blood
letting, f.coIlrse, was. simple affair
A writer in Macmillans Magazine, sa
that every body was bled twice q yeaI
lin the spring and autumn. The par
bers were the surgeons and. like wise
men, adapted their prices to their pa
tents.
A gentleman who so INDUCED him
self as to go to bed to be bled was
charged half crownand his fine lady
half sovereign. Certain days were
unlucky for bloodlettinS- and nothing
would induce the BARRIERS to operate
on these occasions. Serious diseases
seem to have been beyond the medical
skill of the day. Villages and towns
simply drove out the infected from
their midst.
Among remedies herbs Of course
PLAYED a great part. 'For salves." runs
an old notebook which had great
vogue, "the country parsons wife
seeks not the city and prefers her gar
den and fields before all outlandish
gums" Sage was held n very great
medicine 1t was even asked in Latin,
"Why should any one die who has sage
in his garden?" If any one had dis
ease of the mouth. the Eighth Psalm
should be read for three days. seven
times on each day. AS remedy 1T
was sovereign"
For insanity or fits whipping was
prescribed. Little wonder that NOR
tality was great. In old days in Wes-
sex, England. persons with infectious
diseases were confined in the lookup.
and whipping was deemed too good for
them Should the sick be loud in Ia
ment. the watchman kept them quiet by
this popular discipline, and one town
has upon it's records, paid T. Haw-
llins for whipping two people that had
the smallpox eightpence."
Fortunately the spirit of this age IS
different from that.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
\ ScnthinS ISetort.

An English lawyer who had been
cross examining Il witness for some
time and who had Sorely taxed the pa
tience of the judge, jury and every
one in the court was finally asked by
the court to conclude his cross exam
ination. Before telling the witness to
stand down he accosted him with this
parting sarcasm:
''Ah, you're a clever fellow-a very
clever fellow. We can all see that"
The witness leaned over from the
box and quietly retortcd:
Il would return the compliment il !
We're not on oath. ''-'P ersonalia"
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
HurryInE Up the Baby.

a correspondent sends US an extract
from a poem which recently appeared
in South African paper, thinking we
shall approve of its sentiments. We
do, we do. The inspired verse is enti-
tied Making 4 Man" and begins:
Hurry the baby fast as you can,
Hurry him. worry him. make him man;
Off with his baby clothes, get him in
pants.
Feed him on brain foods and make him
advance;
Hustle him, soon he's able to walk.
Into grammar school, cram him with
talk;
Fill his poor head full of figures and
facts.
Keep on a-jar1ning them in till it cracks
London Review.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
When to Marry.

Marry when the year is new,
Always loving, kind and true:
When February birds do mate,
y on may wed, nor dread your fate:
If you we'd when March winds blow
Joy and sorrow both you'll know;
Marry in Aicril when you can.
Joy for maiden and for man;
Marry in the month of May,
i on will surely rue the day;
Marry when June roses blow,
Over land and sea you'll go:
They who in July do we'd
Must labor always. for their bread;
Whoever wed in August be,
Many changes are sure to see;
Marry in September's shine,
Your living will be rich and fine;
If in October you do marry,
Love will come, but riches tarry;
II You we'd in bleak November,
Only joy Will come, remember;
When DEFENDERS SHOWS fail fast,
Marry and true love viii last.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
WINTER WHEAT
ESTIMATE
Statistician of New York Exchange
Puts II AT l-J,211 900 Bushels.

sEsy NEW YORK, May 13.-Statistician
Brown Of the Produce Exchange, in
IAN estimate based On the Government
crop report, places the winter wheat
crop at 36O,211, 900 bushels, as com
pared with an indicated yield in April
as. 600, 900 bushels.
:sSS .ast years actual crop yield was
1896 ,oeo,o 900 bushels. Experts attribute
ne poorer prospect to a decrease in
the area gown. due to the influence of
hard ter
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
NEW RUSSIAN HYMN

AS sung regularly at Port Arthur.
Oh. say can you see by the dawn S
early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the
twilis-ts last beaming?
No, your highness, l can't; for some
time in the night,
1t ran foul of a mine and it's long
past redeeminS.
Giant powders red flare,
Iron ---nSs to spare
Then up went battleship high in
the air;
And the mines OF Port Arthur
Oh, long may they flo-oat!
/ regret TOGO repor-r-rt-
Had destroy ed-d = the wrong =
boat-tt!
Puck
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
His Luck.

Lowscads (despondently}-1 might
just as well be dead. What good am
I, anyway? Why, believe that I've
been refused by every girl in town!
Henpekke (aXcitedly) = Touch wood!
Touch wood, quick, or your luck will
change!-Smart Set
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
XulEnr Admiration.

Mr.. Muchca Sh-What are YOU doing
fut there in the night air? Come into
the house. Gladys-I was just admir-
ing the moon, papa. Mr. Muchcash-.
What business have you admirinG the
moon when there are so many things
in the house that I have bought eN-
pressly for you to admire? Anybody
can admire the moon.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
Her Wedding,

''Was it an elaborate wedding?'
''Elabora ter exclaimed the fair di-
vorcce. .'I> should think it was. Why.
it was so elaborate that you'd think
she never expected to have another"-
Chicago Post.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
Her Construction OF 1t,

Teacher of Glass In Grammar-Con-
strue the sentence. 1.-The study of man
kind is man" One of the Big Girls-I
don't believe it's true. 1t was man
that wrote that.-Chicago Tribune.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
Charley Williams Better.

CHARLEY Williams, the insane col
ored man, has been dismissed from
the county jail. There was no roo. q.
for him at Weston, and as hesWass p
great deal better and his friends came.
for him, he was let out. He sspVass
taken away from the2 city.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
Notice..

Notice.
My entire line of millinery is still
going at cost. Come in and see.
have some pretty hats fora little
money. MRS. LAURA FRAZER.
423 Jackson st.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13

have three of the very best lots in
the Morrow Addiuon for sale, at a
very low price. H. H. Lanham.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13

The man to pick out to appreciate
the joke you want to tell him is the
fellow who is waiting to borrow So
from you when you get through telling
it.-=New York Press.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13

'.When hears q man sayin' dat he
likes dogs better dan he does human
folks,'' said Uncle Eben, ~ can't help
suspectin' dat mebbe he's picked out
de kim o. friends OATS as good as he
deserves.''-Washing Star.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13
READ THIIS=g GOPY OF u
DdIIIJ n6SG fQ1Il11II
IF you are a. subscrI Der, q

IF you are a, subscriber, that's nice; Il
not, want you
THE DAILY WEST VIRGINIAN
about that. You were new once yourself 1
But we are working hard to make our. paper
second to none in this region.
TT TAKES MONEY AND HARD WORK
to establish an up-to=date paper If you dOs#s
not know about that, you can take our word
for it. We knew it before started, but We
felt that some interests in this community
needed such paper as we propose to ruR-
WE ARE BOOSTERS NOT .sKNOGKERs, q,
We believe Fairmont to be at the TIRES.
hold of her greatest Of prosperity To
promote her best interests and uphold her
various institutions will be our daily concern
We need all the enterprises have. TO en-
courage the men who are helping to build .uEs
this community will be delight. We VIII
try to give
ALL THE NEWS,
and occasionally tell you uJzt tk5ssgs
TIN GFNTS brvs the Dai1v one week
forty cents is the price per month; while fosar
dollars pays for it a whole year.
ssCome thou with and we will do thee
good.
First FloorNew Jacobs Building, Monroe
Street and Porter Alley.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13

ste 1,D summe7II opening FRI.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-13

You get the news in the Daily West
yirginian. &
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-09-21
Bowser Cuts Grass
With the Aid of New Mower He Trims the Lawn In His
Yard, but Series Of Mishaps Causes Police
Interference For Fear of Riot

dren, but even the youngest Of human
nature rejOices when lawn mower is
made to suffer. The noise also stopped
a man who was passing, and he leaned
over the fence and sagaciously said:
"Cut your brickbats with an ak, my
friend. You will find it easier and
cheaper"
Mrs. Bowser's heart stopped still,
and the cat forgot to breathe. Both ex-
pected the man to be slaughtered in
cold blood, but Mr.. Bowser only gave
him a plying look and waved him to
pass on. The brickbat was picked out
of the grass and tossed into the street,
and then steam was turned on and the
mower started again. To the amaze
ment of the children and other Qnlook-
ers it cut grass. The green blades flew
chine, and the scent of new mown hay
became apparent clear down to the cor
ner. Words of admiration were being
spoken on every hand, when there was
another sudden stoppage. 1t was so
unlocked for that Mr.. Bowsers heels
left the ground, and for an instant he
seemed about to take header. There
was general groan of disappointment
as he saved himself, and the old
clothespin he picked from between the
blades was looked upon as no real
friend Of that crowd. Another pedes-
trian felt called upon to stop and say
something. He was an old man and
full of wisdom. BE was also deaf, and
he shouted so that he could be heard
forty rods away.
'If you knew beans from broom
sticks you'd use rake on that grass
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-09-21
Central
EXCURSION RATES,
Rates to st. Louis.

Excursion tickets will be sold by the Him
OILS Central. to the points, aud at rates, as
follows:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-09-21
IT STRUCK a PIECE OF BRICK.
nrstr' he beloved. "some men allus
begin their work wrong end fon

first" he beloved. 'some men allus
begin their work wrong end to-"
For moment Mrs. Bowser was like
one paralyzed. and the cat stopped her
purring to choke up, but no one was
struck dead. Mr. Bowser got red In
the face and his ears twitched, but he
hid the volcano raging in his breast
with bland smile and removed the OBJ
struction. AS it was thrown over the
fence the children scrambled for it,
and battle royal was the consequence.
The attention Of policeman standing
on the corner was attracted, and he
came strolling down to halt at the
gate and inquire:
"Doin' the lawn mowin' act, eh?"
"Just little" was the reply.
eyes, he's mad at the grass and
means to give 1t its,' put in small
boy.
I'D have hired it DONE" said the
officer as he encouraged the boy with
smile.
Mr.. Bowser had nothing further to
say. but made ready to resume work.
The presence Of the officer Of course
attracted further attention, and several
vehicles stopped In front Of the house
that their drivers might learn what the
rumpus was about. It took nerve on
Bowser's part to starboard his helm
and go ahead, but he would not take q
bluff. He had showed the mower al
most eleven feet, and was doing beau
tful work, when the shaft picked up
long piece Of rusty wire and wound
it up to a stop. Then the policeman
laughed, the children clapped their
hands, and words of satisfaction were
heard from the sitters.
IF you want my advice began
the officer, but ne was interrupted
with:
But 1 don't"
''Then I'll give 1t to you just the
same. Take 1t in! You are raisin' q
! row and disturbin' the peace"
Eyes, take it in!' shouted q dozer
boys.
'Take it in, Of coursey" echoed 9
dozen sitters.
III you don't I'll have to take you
in,' continued the bluecoat. II don't
say there's any law agin a man run
MIN lawn mower, but he's got to dc
it without creatin' an excitement
Here's a crowd that is worked up tt
such pitch Of frenzy that It's ready
to tear down buildin's and murder
Chinymen, and you've got to get thai
machine into the back yard or becom.
responsible to the law"
Mr.. Bowser got it there, and. tower
ing over Mrs. Bowser. who had va
Gated the steps and closed the from
door, he said:
woman, I have been guyed, hu
inflated and browbeaten. and it's al
on your account. You will take thu
1910 train for your mothers home to
morrow morning, and as soon as tn,
necessary legal papers can be mad,
out we will see about the divorce ant
alimony." M. QUAD.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-09-21

YHEN he had finished dinner
0U the other evening Mr.. Bow
ser turned up missing for
ten minutes, and when dis
covered" again he had on an old suit
OF clothes and there was a genuine ag-
ricultural smile on his face.
Are you going to dig we'll or chop
wood or-or anything?" asked Mrs.
Bowser as she surveyed him in consid-
cradle surprise.
"Not exactly" he rather sheepishly
replied. Saying nothing of the fact
that need exercise and that 1 can
save 500 in very short time, I am
going to cut the grass in the front
yard
But how? With the butcher knife?'
He sat down on the front steps, and
his agricultural smile broadened and
heightened until it took, in hay, oats,
corn, wheat and potatoes, and had a
lightning rod man come along just
then he would no doubt have found
Mr.. Bowser a soft mark
''The boy will be here presently" he
finally answered. 81 have bought a
lawn mower, and it should have been
here half an hour ago. However, there
Is time enough. Yes, have bought an
eight dollar lawn mower, and 1 pur-
pose to put stop to the extortionate
demands of the scoundrels who go
about cutting grass. They have robbed
me long enough. The machine will
A0vQ itS cOSt avprv month
II fail to see how" replied Mrs. Bow
ser after a little mental arithmetic.
I'VE have got about ten square feet Of
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-09-21
California.

The Chicago & North. Western R'y
has issued anew publication entitled
California. 1t contains beautiful
colored map of the state, q list of hotels
at California tourist resorts. with their
capacity and rates and most inter-
esting series of pictures showing Cali
fornia's resources and attractions. The
prospective visitor and settler should
be in possession OF copy of this pro-
fusely illustrated folder. Sent to any
address on receipt of four cents in
stamps. One-way tickets on sale daily
Sept Is to Oct. Is. only $500 Chicago
to the Coast. Corresponding low
rates from all points.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-09-21

! copyright. 1904. by T. G. McClure.l
Ia YHEN he had finished dinner
II VV the other evening Mr.. Bow
w ser turned up missing for
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-09-21

grass to cut. We have had 1t cut four
times at Is cents time. We may
have to have it cut four times more at
the same price. The cost may pos
sibly reach So for the season. How
you can save anything by paying out
Is for a lawn mower fail to see Be
Sides
II may not save over SIS or $40 this
year." he interrupted, "but there are
other years to come. am looking
ahead. # put all the back yard into
grass next year it will be regular
bayfield,. l have also to figure on the
physical exercise. The best doctors in
America are a unit in agreeing that
showing a lawn mower around is the
best thing ever discovered for spinal
I complaint"
"And you have finally developed that.
have you"
Before Mr.. Bowser had got ready to
answer a boy came from the hardware
store with the mower. 1t was painted
red and green, and he was dragging 1t
along the sidewalk and making as
much noise as possible, and he was Of
course followed by goat, two dogs
and fifteen children. The procession
stopped with bang before the Bow
Ger gate, and the crowd was at once
added to by children from across the
street. If there was any circus going
on around there they wanted to see it
"You might have known how it
would be-" said Mrs. Bowser as she
surveyed the gathering and noticed
that nearly every family on the block
was sitting out to get the air.
"Don't you worry yourself, Mrs.
Bowser. have bought lawn mower,
and propose to use it, and If the sight
Of man using such machine sets
the whole town rubbernecking let 'em
20 ahead and gawp. Please inform me
what in thunder Is the matter. Do
you expect the machine to bust up and
wreck the neighborhood?"
mo, Of course not; but, you see, you
have never run q lawn mower before,
and-and"-
"And | may knock down the front
.ence or run over and kill three or -four
people! Yes, there is some danger OF
it but will be very careful of it fol
the sake Of you and the cat. II YOU
Year bloodshed and devastation you
had better hide down cellar till It's On
over. shall now begin"
There was a bur-r-r-r, and he was q
work.
Lawn moving and watch repairing
are not exactly the same thing, but be
tore you can repair watch or now 9
lawn you must look out for clothes
pins, brickbats, castor oil bottles and
tomato cans. That mower had just go1
. gait on her and was merrily buzzine
away when it struck generous piece
Of brick which boy had cast into thu
yard In throwing at cat and wal
Brought up short with sound that pu
peoples teeth on edge. There was {
chorus Of delighted EXPLANATIONS from
The children. They were guiieless chill
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-09-21
DR.. STOCKDALE

Is regular graduate from the best col
leges in the United States. He has made
a special study of the diseases he treats in
the largest and best hospitals in the coun-
try for several years ana has no superior
in diagnosing and treating