The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-04-20
TIE NoNPAREJL MAN

yhE NUNFAh6J1 MAN
Something About the ''scare" That Man
Has Thrown Into Him In the Presence
of an Audience-Dscussion Of "Stage
Fright and Why a Mercful Providence
Has Included It Among the Many Bless
inas vouchsafed the Race OF Men.
G.. 3. Moses, Of the eighth ward, came
in yesterday to ask If stage fright was
a disease or just a Whim. AS nobody
could give him any information and as
the dictionary was silent on the matter
he started in to tell how his folks in the
privacy Of his own home had been stand
ing him up against the piano and trying
to teach him to sing. After he had had it
hammered into him that it was not the
thing to below like a whale where the
music was marked .tpianissimo' and after
they had showed him how wrong it was
to use those throaty and heady tones that
he had struggled SO hard to get, it was
borne in on him one day that he ought
to have an audience. The idea was not
very enthusiastically received in the house,
but Mr.. Moses persisted. When he saw
neighbor going by he stopped him and
tried to lure him in, but the neighbor was
suspicious. Finally Mr.. Moses confessed
the crime he contemplated. The neighbor
had an engagement. Then Mr.. Moses Of
fered him 10 cents to listen to him for
ten minutes. The bargain was struck and
the audience came in and sat down. When
Mr.. Moses started in on his song he found
himself suddenly seized with a deadly
fright that made his hair bristle and his
clothes feel as tho they were all dotted
with hot buttons And the neighbor, as
he pulled the watch on the performance
and slid for the door with an expression
| of relief, remarked very good,' in that
| tone that indicates II hope may be for
given for this
Walt Mason tells of fat man in Ne
braska who couldn't talk on his feet, but
ton speech. He had plenty of time in
which to prepare it, and he did his best.
He toiled night and day, celebrating and
polishing it, and when it was done up to
his satisfaction, he was rather proud Of it.
| Then he practiced delivering it in the soli-
tude of his own chamber, and had it down
so pat, even to the pauses for the newt
able applause, that mistakes or en-
barrassment seemed impossible. The
eventful night came. While the supper
was in progress, the fat man kept repeat
ing his speech to himself, and the ordeal
did not seem so dreadful; but when the
critical moment came, and the silence fell
upon the company and the fat man
arose to say things, the bottom fell out OF
his memory, and cold sweat broke out
on him, and he gasped and gurgled and
driveled painfully. He felt that he was
going to swoon, so, while strength re-
manned to him, he fed from the roo1n
! moaning like a lost soul.
Anyone who can explain this state Of
mind that makes a man on his feet fee
like a last years straw hat and who car
discover a remedy for it would make his
I fortune in six weeks. There are abou
1000, 900 American men and every moth
{ ers son Of them wants to address al
: audience on something or other, and 81
;, per cent Of them are scared SITTER thar
!, a stake when the occasion arises.
It is probably a merciful provision o
!. nature to prevent the world from being
: overwhelmed by after dinner and othe
!. oratory.
Good evening, have you run for con
gress this year yet?
J. Take the AK and get the sweet peas int
: the ground. A warm wave is overdue.
n Senator Nelson said d--n in the senat
d over the roads in Alaska. Strange coin
e cidence, but the same word has been use
e regarding roads in Minnesota.
There is slight Clara Morris reviva
in New York. There are people who Woul
n run mile to dodge it.
% An automobile is a fine thing, but fo
e solid comfort give us $4,000 in the bank.
3 We repeat 1t. The asphalt pavemer
t. is the meanest pavement on earth. TIL
is especially true when the ''prosperou
merchant" uses Nicollet avenue to bee
to his rugs on and to dump his store sweer
u ings on.
in Mr.. Dooley has the old man Opportunit
S. sized up as rather a freakish individua
He says:
"a OPPORTUNITY knocks at livery mans dul
1e wanst On some mems dures it hammers till
Of breaks down TIL door an thin it goes in a
II. wakes him up If he's asleep, and aftherward
in wurrks FIR him night Waterman. On 9th
al mems dures it knocks and runs away, an on t
i'd dures of some men it knocks an whtn they con
ne out it hits thin over tn head with an ak. B
tverywan has an OPPORTUNITY.
But the man who gets the advantat
n, of opportunity is the one who is u
~ dressed and waiting In the front yard
ne get on board when Opportunity drives h
;. automobile UP to the hitching block.
lg Will Chamberlain of South Dakota in h
Random Reflections" tells, Of pro,
father and mother who came into tov
the other day with ten fine children "
have their picter took" The father hi
an reddish chin whiskers and longish he
lily cut, Quaker-like, square around His no
no was the seat Of 25-cent glasses, SUI
Sir as peddlers handle in the far rural di
Sir tricts at SO per. The wife had a look
NJ. Christian resignation on ner face. S
ey was adorned in plain black. such as tn
e sell at country grocery stores on egg a
hit counts At the gallery the artist had l
in hands full. When he finally succeeded
getting the household features all plac
the eyes all riveted on som ething up laie
IT and snapped his machine, it made n
o. Chamberlain think 'tof the time we on
la occupied a, humble place in a simil
-, le gathering and thought we had be
:. ~ ;, wounded for life when that Internal blac
:: draped cannon caught our freckled p,
III fle."
We recall that Having picture too
and ''having tooth drawn were equa
ice unpleasant incidents Of childhood. 7
is aaa+;.+ Ir,.y,e ,,ro,,,ica6 ~ La y t,;d IT.,