Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1904-09-22


Think of reaching world where
men live forever, Mr.. Corkscrew, where
the years roll on forever, and where
you and could lazy in the shade OF eY'
ergreen trees for thousands of years and
discuss politics and different phases OF
religious faith and sing little II we
felt lonely while we were mending our
old summer trousers to see ii we could
make them last a few hundred years
longer. Even if we don't pull out at
once for distant planet it will be a
clinch to have a vehicle at hand that
Will carry us where we choose to go Tor
when the trusts get down to rock bot
tom consolidation, the people must
get off the earth or become slaves. We
will all be able to get eff at moments
notice and sail away with the ease OF
a thistle down floating over farm that
was too poor to produce crop OF this
ties If the farmer had free government
seed. And il conditions don't suit US in
Mars, Mr.. Corkscrew, it will be possi-
bic for us to take our fight and go on
still further, and keep going on and on
until we do find that world OF endless
bliss spoken of by the prophets"
turned and looked at my neighbor
to see how he was taking to the scheme
and found him still standing behind
the stove open-mouthed, so turned
to the window again and continued to
spin my prospectus Of my great discov-
ery and its blessing to che human fami-
ly.
"Think Of this thing, Mr.. Corkscrew,
10 be absolutely snatched from the
grave by other snatch blocks than those
so long in use by the patent medicine
fakirs, and to be able to laugh at the
worms that sit on the fence and wait for
| our carcass to be spread before them ev'
en- though it may be soaked with en-
balming fluid so that half the worms
die of indigestion and diseased liver
Think OF the pleasure and novelty OF
sailing through space and actually
drifting beyond the boundaries OF NOR
tality and decaying flesh with not only
the motor power to reach heaven in oul
Sunday clothes, but also our every day
flesh and bones and able to sail away
again if the society and the municipa
laws don't suit u.s."
Corkscrew was making such peculia
noise in his hilarious appreciation oi
my discovery and my description of IT.
possibilities that he was actually hold
inc his mouth with both hands as
thought at the time to keep himsel
from turning wrong side out the SAM
as one reversing wooden mitten or al
old sock to find a flea that has been Civ
ink you trouble during the Afternoon
service. He was the most attentive lis
tener ever had in all my life, and thi
made me think my original idea of &c
ing to heaven must be the greatest dis
coyery of the age. 1t inspired me to g
more and more into details concernin
the tourney through ETHEREAL nothing
ness,
"Suppose for instance dear friend
threatened with consumption or ther
t is an epidemic of smallpox or fever Q
a mortgage got after us, all we need d
, is to cut loose our aerial liniment a.
ship and sail away in search OF Ian
where tuberculosis cannot reach US an
shirt tail exemption notes are ruled OF
e of court. Suppose on arriving at Ma
q we find the people inferior beings wit
no aristocracy to lead society, no upp'
) ten for US to join, no lords or dnkes
9 other brainless degenerates on the ma
I ket and our accomplished daughte
turn UP their noses at the canal digger
and captains of mud scows and coal ba
9 ges we can cut loose again and sail dow
It the milky way until we reach the laI
= of milk and honey at it's source for sur
. ly all that long streak of milk stain {
y the face of heaven must drip from fires
Q cows pasturing in the sweet fields
It Eden, and | have always had curios
N ty to see such herd of milk producer
No the idea is absurd, they wouldn't u
Q chalk and water to mark the milk maiC
10 trail across the dome of heaven. o
is milk men never get up that high a
10 how in heavens name would they eV
get onto such a rascally trick if sol
u dairyman from this sphere didn't sht
it them the lick it was done withP At a
,s rate no other world could hold US if
had the means of escaping from Il
" old ball OF iniquity with all our fac
r ties about us and our jack knife in c
I'd pockets. For thousands of years
IN wise men of the east have tried to get
heaven with their gee strings but th
" all failed. When boots first came il
VI use they tried for several years to
UT themselves out of this mortal scrape
the ears of their boots but the ears pJ
ed off and the boots wore out and
} the old philosophers in their bare Fl
No and ragged ideas still. They tried
same scheme when some inventive g
-, ious made the first wash tub with Q
y but they tramped the bottom out ;
ct busted the hoops of, pulled the ears
es and finally went 10 sleep with
or worms that had so kindly disposed
q their fathers and forefathers and ST
mothers, and could always be rel
III on to dispose Of every conner. IT
ly some wise old Jasper became inspi
with an idea to build tower of ST
80 aud cement TO the height of the clio
o0 and then use the clouds to build II
ny to the basement of paradise where
ne wine Of life eternal was conceal
an Some thought it was worth Will,
secure the wine even If 1t didn't b
'm them with eternal life, for wine as
IL as heaven must be glorious thing
,d- tho stomach and a beautiful skat,
- the legs
~ turned and looked at Corksc
ne again, and was gratifed 70 find
be- sill standing with open mouth aud