The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-04-28

that the boys would come agai and bring
IN IN others. Incidentally, II is reported that
me, e, cigars made the beygs sick. This tale
of cigarette bribery, " as 1T was called,
amusement lin New Zealand,
caused ripple of excitement in CeyIon,
shocked some good folk in tho United
States and made heEahurch- goers of
British Columbia raise their hands in hor-
ror And then letters ION the subject be-
gan pouring in on the Rev. Mr.. Lang from
himself and his Sabbath school cartooned
in Punch. The London: Globe printed a
poem on it, one verse oflwhieh ran as fol-
lows: .ss>s 80
Oh, teacher, I'm 80 happy Z
In my little Sunday school;
For my pipe is drawing nicely,
And the mixtures smoking Ecool,
; And find 1t very pleasant
r ust to sit here blowing rings;
Z While You give us recolIections
za On the Babylonian kings.
Mr.. Wilmot is doubtless well-meaning
gentleman but his zeal was not tempered
send him the little tract entitled Smoker
Pause" a publication that had all too lit
tie influence on our young life.
( The ST. Cloud normal school has de-
cided that Canada ought to be annexed
to the United States. If the Canadian
parliament only felt the same way we
would have pretty good sized nation
over here.
: The man who will point gun at
friend and tell him that ut isn't loaded
shows every indication Of being loaded
himself. =
President Diaz of Mexico is candidate
for election. There are no others. Any
other candidate would cut about as much
figure as the hole In Hast weeks dough
nut. Fiji
A. L. ]. writes to this column to claim
that a man doesn't get any comfort out
of $4,000 in the bank" Doesn't, Ell?
Well, when we get it there you'll see US
just wallowing in scomfort-for afew days,
at least.
sS The American Museum of New York
met the other day, and, without stopping
to inquire how William c. Whitney, late
Of the oil trust. got the $4,000 he gave the
societyt re bone digslag, Named new
among the fossils sofy Nebraska, the "Neo-
hipparion Whitney, = ~ Then. Professor Os-
born, at the same meeting, announced that
he had positive proof fiat han was de-
scended from family, Of reptiles known
as "lynipada." Several. of our hated con-
temporaries may well be descended from
reptiles, but we stand by the good old
monkey family tree
Doc Bixby says that "a baked potato,
a small bit of cold tongue, one piece of
stale bread, a section Of strawberry short
cake four stories high and cup of tea
is an evening meal hearty enough for any
body" What, only one section Of that
shortcake?
Last Saturday little boy baby came
to the house of William Randolph Hearst
Say, is there anything that that man will
| not do in his disgraceful attempt on the
presidency? ,.,..,-. ...,-&
When the baby and the hammer and
| the mahogany plano case meet when
mama is upstairs there are likely to be
things doing. &f:.>
A Missouri jury in Randolph county got
itself into disfavor with the judge by
| bringing in a freak Verdict that showed
the presence: of some sporting talent
among the twelve good men. A man was
1 on trial for assault with intent to kill
| His defense was that 1t was simply q
/ fight. - The prosecuting attorney brought
] into court as weapons rail, an ak, g
gun, saw and a rifle. The defendants
counsel exhibited a ascythe, a pitchfork
a pistol, razor and hoe. After DELHI.
Grating two hours the Jury submitted
| report which read as follows: 1--WE, the
jury, find that q fight took place, and we
! the jury, would have paid a dollar eacl
/ to. have seen it.'sA III u S..a.
An eighth ward spa pa, complains thatsfi
son. stimulated by reading about tn
maple syrup industry irfsvermont,ss tappel
az few soft maple trees,fsa box elderPan,
a telegraph pole or two this spring u1fde
the impression that the molasses woul
I come dripping out of them into his ten
quart pail. He now believes that eth
newspapers have been lying" about eth
maple sugar season.
: There is an ingenious person in tn
vicinity Of LIE Sueur, in this state, who |
, known in all newspaper offices Of Mime
sofa as "The LIE Sueur String Fiend
1t is said that he sends out the rattle
strong stories that Have made Lie Sueu
famous. not for the sake of pelf but fo
the love of his art If any event occur
! anywhere In the county or anything
), general interest comes up, the lie. Sueu
String Fiend is able to parallel itsby a
incident occurring somewhere 'in the v
: entity OF LIE Sueur." For instance tI
!. other day, when the country was dis
: turbed by the sIgorrotes at st. Louisse lea
: Ing dog, the LIE Sueur String Fiend 5se1
out the following story and it was printe
Q in the twin cities:
4 The presence at the st. Louis fair OF the r
markable Igorrotes. who eat dog meat, will N
fill the LIE Sueur visitors with any special wind
: for the reason that for the last fifteen yea
there has lived near LIE Sueur, just across ii
river In Sibley county queer old fellow who
principal article Of food is fat dogs. He n
only raises and fattens them himself, but bu
good specimens from speculative boys at g cen
: per pound live weight Uncle" Slower is b
y name, and he came from Iowa. His reading,
= wet weather is the st. Paul Dispatch.s.l
,. The LIE Sueur s. r. is especially strol
e on freak stories about people and on Il
strange. actions of animals. On snal
stories he is quite sui generis, and
Is cold weather he is hot above telling sor
Is strange antics of the mercury z. "a fe
X miles from LIE Sueur.'' In summer t
g extremely hot weather is likely to pop
IN the corn on FARMER swenson's upp
I eighty near LIE sueur," etc, etc.
AS stated above the LIE Sueur Stri
iFHend is an artist, and he deserves t
# Swift Kick newspaper medal as. the bi
igest all-around nanufa cturer in the sta
...sr 70 "A. J. &
Il