davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
IN HOTEL LoBBIEs
How the Wind Blows.

N II the people who calLat our store ean De taken as an indication Parker anu Davis will be elected without strug- sie' said Phil Levy. an employe of the Louis saks clothing store yesterday. A .e" days ago we began the free distH- button of unique watch fobs which nave as pendant an imitation of brass baggage check on which Is printed the names Of the Presidential candidates. We oroered twice as many Parker and Davis loos as we did Roosevelt and Fairbanks.
 we stih have plenty of the Roosevelt ana Fairbanks variety but the Parker anu Davis fobs are getting very scarce. Every negro who comes in the store wants a Roosevelt and Fairbanks iop and about three out of every twenty wnite men ask for the same thing"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
From the Brooklyn Eagle.


 HE old joke about the grandmoth- \CD CT in the ballet may be repeat
 ing itself in New York under our opera glasses without detection. There is revelation from the ranks of the chorus which at least lays a foundation for such an allegation. The chorus, be 1t known, has become the cornerstone of the dra- matic temple since managers have turned to musical comedies to fill the many gor- geous theatres for which they cannot be- gin to find plays enough. If it were not for chorus girls half the theatres would have to be closed at least half of the time. In the face of this rise in the mar ket, brash manager from Chicago de- clared that a chorus girl lost her use- fitness after three or four years. In other words, the real chorus girls were his bevy of fresh young beauties from Lakeville The retort of Broadway was more curt than elegant, but the facts with which that retort was supported proved conclusive, as note one instance. There are among the throngs received with favor in managers offices a Miss King and Miss Fairchild. chorus girls who decline all engagements where they cannot travel together. The explanation is that Miss King happens to be Miss Fairchild's mother"
 Could there be a more touching example of material devotion or better founda- tion for the ballet grandmother joke? Clearly Miss King Is in private life Mrs. Somebody Else. It Is not a violent presumption that Miss Fairchild may also be Mrs. Somebody or Other. In that happy combination grandmotherhood would not interfere with the popularity of Miss King as a citizen of that gilt tering country where they drink cham pagne from tin goblets and are clad in an expansive smile.
 Seriously the modern woman. and espe- cially the stage woman, has wiped out the limits of old age as the term used to be understood. A life Of activity and of perpetual interest has outdone the fable of Ponce De Leon. The activities of Bernhardt, past 60, and a grandmother of many years standing, are among the won ders of the modern world. Patti was back here last season past 60, but look ing 35 or 40. In the year that Modjeska became a grandmother she revived Juliet as joke. The public liked her so much in it that she played the part frequently through the season and she did not re- tire until that grandson must have been well grown boy in short trousers Ellen Terry, who five O. six years ago sought to conceal the birth of a grandson in Australia because she was playing young girls in London, has only now been induced to accept a ''motherly"1 part With these shining examples the chorus girl who allows herself to be shooed back from the footlights by any foolish manager from Chicago would be weak in- deed Actresses are kept in perpetual youth not by the arts of makeup. but by active exercise, by living busy and interesting lives and by the necessity of being in condition to look their best seven times a week. With such training woman of 40 is in her first youth. and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
 Some men are so mean about their mothcrs-in-law that they won't even take their receipts.
 An awful nice thing about being fat is how long you can stay in swimming with out knowing the water Is too cold.
 Even a man that has more sense than to think he can make garden pay will get an Idea that he is cut out for pub lie life.
 It makes a happily married woman very unhappy not to be able to feel that some man never got over her not marrying him.
 There Is something about pushing a lawnmower that makes one think that the man who wears ball and chain Is lucky but doesn't know it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
STRIPED SUIT; LIVELY WALK.
lbert Hubbard in tbe Philistine.

Ebert Hubbard in tpe Philistine
 Once in my callows days I accepted a wager that I could wear prison suit and walk from Buffalo to Cleveland without serious molestation. It took me over four days to- get thirty miles. I was arrested nine times, and at Dun kirk I came near being mobbed by a Sunday school picnic .and was com pelled to discard my uniform for citi- zen's clothes. Yet I was free man and innocent of crime, and there was no law defining what l should wear, so long as it was male attire.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
sUsET ON THE BORDER.

By Sir Walter Scott. Day set on Norham's castled steep, And Tweeds fair river board and deep.
 And Cheviot's mountains lone; The battled towers, the donjon keep, The loop-hole gates where captives waep, The fianking wall that round 1t sweeh
 In yellow luster shone. The warriors on the turrets high Moving athwart on the evening sky.
 Seemed forms of giant height; Their armor, as it caught the rays, Flashed back again the western blaze
 In lines of dazzling light. St. Georges banner. broad and gay. Now faded. as the fading ray
 Less bright and less was flung; The evening gale had scarce the power To wave 1t on the donJon tower,
 So heavily 1t nung. The scouts had parted on their search.
 The castle gates wer, barred; Above the goomy portal arch, Timing his footsteps to march,
 The warder kept his guard, Low humming, he paced along, Some ancient border gathering song. A distant. tramping sound he hears; He looks abroad and soon appears Ger Horncliff hill. plump of spears
 Beneath pennon gay; A horseman, darting from the crowd' Like lightning from a summer cloud. Spurs on his mettled courser proud.
 Before the dark array. Beneath the sable palis1de, That closed the castle barricade.
 His bugle horn he blew; The warden hasted from the wall And warned the captain in the hall.
 For we'll the blast he Knew; And joyfully that knight did call To sewer. squire and seneschal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
They Know Their Business.

If proficiency Is demanded In any line of business 1t is an absolute necessity In that of the expert who presides at in formation bureaus in the large cities, said a man about town. Some times you will find as many as half dozen people in one of these places and they are kept busy answering a steady fire of questions for horrs at a time. Some are women and some mddle-aged men, but as a rule they are young men, for 1t Is a pace that kills. The average person is inclined to get fractious if he is re- quired to answer three or four questions in succession but think what the strain must be when hundreds are fired at your head by every variety of crank under the sun.
 Inexperienced travellers, women and others who do not know the ropes well besiege the information bureaus at pas senger stations and elsewhere in large numbers but they are not permitted to argue or exhibit that perversity for which human nature is noted. When you ask a question you must know exactly what you want, state 1t in the fewest words possible and when you have been answered back out without attempting to reason or to argue with the human auto maton behind the screened window. If you try to bandy words his curt Next will teach you better.
 considering the great variety of in- formation they must have at their finger tips 1t is remarkate that information experts do rot make ere errors but they are seldom guilty of a bobble' and If they are forced to consult refer ence book, do so with amazing eelerlty.
 While I lave To id1a what informa- ton experts are paid have no doubt that their work is very remunerative."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
KEEP IN TOUCH WITH ONESELF.

From the Saturday Evening Post
 It's good to have money and the things money will buy but it's good. too, to check up once In while and make sure you haven't lost the things that money won't buy. When fellows got what he gets out for in the world, he should go off into the woods for few weeks now and then to make sure he's still man. and not plug hat and frock coat and wad of bills.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

Just because his wife Is unfortunate enough to approach embonpoint is no req son why a man should be granted A di- vorce and no husband who likes his job will cast off faithful wife just because she Is not fashionab1y thin. It seems that Dame Fashion has given the ladies a hard proposition. In the old days the girl who was not well rounded did not worry much. She built herself up. But the girl who did not use pc ls before is now confronted with the difficulty of not being able to reduce her proportions and moreover if she is not tall her case is hopeless. Paris should have given Van ity Fair something easier.
 The startling rumor Is abroad that the 'pure" Scotch whisky that has brought cheer to many weary soul and has lighted up scores of rubicuno faces with anticipation is not exactly what 1t Is claimed to be, and that the historic high ball contains creosote. AS matter of fact no one would ever have known the difference but some scientific busybody saw fit to discover the fact and cause everybody to feel uncomfortable. It is very reasonable to suppose that so long as the average man can enjoy his high ball without dreaming that 1t contains creosote he could go on drinking it in- definitely with the same degree of satis- faction. But it is a sad blow to learn that after aff~"scotch'' whisky does not deserve the reputation winch 1t has built up in past years. So many cases of adul- terated foods and drinks have
 light here of late that humanity cannot be censured for growing skeptical and contending that in this degenerate day there is nothing good in anything.
 l If 1t were not for the maligned board- | ing house steak there Is no telling what 1 jokesmiths would do. From time im- memorial 1t has served as a target for the shafts of legions of humorists, until ] the reputation of boarding house steaks has been put away below par, and the lu- l crative profession of conducting a select hash house" has been brought into dis l credit. As a matter of fact the average 1 boarding house steak has been unjustly 1 treated. The chances are that in the long run 1t ranks far above the young wifes first efforts at cooking such a delicacy. | but it is the fad to traduce boarding | house steaks and a voice of feeble pro- test is lost in the satirical chorus. Board- | ing house steaks will never again be able to hold up their heads and 1t is all due to the machinations of individuals who strive to be witty so that they may | not starve.
 There Is a disposition on the part of the agricultural department at Washington
 to work the Guatemalan ant over time.
 In addition to combating the boil weevil 1 it is reported that he will now be ex. 1 pected to try his hand at decimating the ranks of potato bugs and a series of ex-
 periments with that end in view will be
 instituted on the farms near Washington
 If the Guatemalan ant can get rid of
 boil weevils we ought to be satisfied and
 not take a mean advantage of a new
 immigrant who has not yet become
 unionized and can not dictate the num-
 Der of hours he will worx every day. P. c.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
Cultivation.

Cultivation makes a great difference among women.
 Ma foil yes.
 Whenever your uncultivated woman hears vile scandle she at once runs with it to her neighbor.
 It is true, alas And your cultivated woman?
 Why, she runs tc her publisher with 1t, naturally.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

1 HE Amalgamated Order of Chorus VD Girls held rouslng meeting in
 New York the other day and all agreed that Judge Parker would make a lovely President. It will be eIremarked that the adjective applies not only to the physical perfections of the jurist. but to all his varied qualifications for the of flee of the nations chief executive. It is generally believed that chorus girls know more about picture hats, stunning gowns and menu cards than they do about poli- in the land is not to be denied. Also the fact that they cannot vote will not daunt these enthusiastic young women in the least and Judge Parker, while reserving his private opinion of the matter no doubt feels immensely fattered at having the Amalgamated Order of Chorus Girls be- hind him. With such support he should ride to victory in an automobile. It must be sad blow to the "Chollies' of Gotham who stand neglected and witness the spec tacle of footlight beauties going into ecstasies over a red-headed farmer from Esopus. While busy with his campaign af- fairs the judge should not forget the lacerated feelings of these New York Chappies and refrain as much as possible from making eyes at the chorus girls in public.
 Bob Taylor is again sailing merrily over the matrimonial seas with a first mate "shanghaied'' in Virginia, and at present there are none of those cruel rocks and crashing breakers ahead which have brought his craft to grief in the past. Friends of the gifted Tennessean trust that this time there wih be no storms and, true to her helm, his bark will avoid the dangers that have proved disastrous to welded bliss. Three times married should give a man experiences enough to last life time. No coubt MT. Taylor, like a true poet, considers mar riage lottery, and is drawing for a prize.
 1 It Is rumored that Tom Watson will shortly pay Birmingham visit. The Hon. Tom is expected to give an address where in he will air his views on questions of national importance If he comes Bir- mingham will extend a cordial welcome l to one of the brightest men Georgia has produced in recent years, and also one of the most unfortunate In matters polit- ical, although he may not think SO MT. Watson writes good books, Is successful I farmer and lawyer, and withal a most en- 1 tertaining lecturer, but all the same he | will not be elected President of the Uni ted States on the populist ticket If he
 Is as wise as he is reported to be the
 Hon. Tom will accept the offer of s2O, 900
 a year which is reported to have been
 rendered him by MT Hearst, who wishes
 to secure his services as an editorial
 writer.
 | Dame fashion announces that thin wo-
 men will be the proper caper this winter
 and some people are beginning to specu-
 late what will become of all the fat wo-
 men. While there is little doubt that a
 great many women who now boast
 health-food figures could become thinner
 and that without much trouble, the la
 dies who really are fat and cannot re-
 duce their weight by throwing off pad
 ballast are in something of a quandary
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
Why She Wept.

From Judge.
 Cleopatra dissolved the pearl. Did you ever see costlier banquet?" she asked.
 Yes" answered Antony scornfully, F'I once tipped the waiter"
 Seeing her pains had gone for naught, the Lily of the Nile wept bitterly.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
FLAGGINo THE SHIPS.
he Chicago Tribune.

From the Chicago Tribune.
 The next lie told on Secretary Morton probably will be that he is preparing to issue an order directing that in case of an accident to a war vessel somebody shall run back to flag the other vessels.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
ALABAMA PRESS.

Tuscaloosa Gazette: Another dif- ference between Roosevelt and Parker is that the latter was just as silent before his nomination as now. while with Teddy this silence Is something startling In it's novelty.
 Alabama Courier: Chairman Babcock of the republican congressional campaign committee, is seeing defeat for his party looming up from behind every cloud. He says that he is hopeful. So are the dem ocrats and jubilant at the same time.
 Montgomery Journal: The enemies of Judge Parker and the democratic party are not going to approve anything that Judge Parker does, and Judge Parker should set about trying to please demo- crats and not republicans. But the best thing of all Is to be right, do right and defy the world. the flesh and the devil, and the Journal believes that Parker is built on these lines.
 Collnsville Courier: The cotton pros- pect at present Is such that farmers should be slow about marketing their crop this fall, remarks an exchange. If the price is alluring 1t will have a ten- dency to cause the farmers to rush their cotton on the market and force a break in the price. It will be wise for the cot- ton raiser to withhold a portion of their crop from market until the beginning of the new year, when the price nearly always has an upward tendency.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09
TIMELY REMARKS ON THE
 MATERNAL CHORUS GIRL

the chorus "gir1' may look for her greatest triumphs after she has sent her children to college and is rree to give her undivided mind to the accent of her merry tra la la
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Grover Cleveland has nothing to say just now about politics, but if luck has becn good he may be pre- vailed upon to state how many he caught on 4--s last trip out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

The sultan of Turkey calls himself. among other things the Shadow of God on Earth" but the shadow does not reach very far and is probably bogus.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

There may be honor among thieves, but not in Mobile. A prisoner con fined in jail there has just stolen a dollar from his cellmate.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Manager Fisher wants all the teams in the south brought down to the brush league standard
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

It takes more than the average share of courage to bunco Robert Fitz- simmons, but 1t has been done.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Even if Russia should win victory. she would be so surprised she would not know what to do with 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Kuropatkin has probably changed his mind and will eat Thanksgiving turkey in St. Petersburg.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

A stage villain seems to be playing the part in real life when his wife Is suing him for a divorce.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Selma announces that rowdyism must stop, but in the meantime her mayors court is doing a rushing busi- ness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

General Kuropathin is leading at present a strenuous life, spurred to 1t by the persistent Japs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Procrastination Is the tried and con victed thief of time, but it is still do- ing business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

General Corbin goes to war at Man. assas in a white automobile. Thus does the poetry of war fade away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

The south has as much right to in-. dulge In the broad grin over ten-cent cotton as the west has in dollar wheat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

In the Sunday Age-Herald read what MT. Dooley" will have to say on the pleasantries of capital and labor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Judge Parker's red hair is not the result of an unfortunate visit to a beauty doctor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

The subway tavern is prosperous and wide open, although the subway itself is full or strife and shut tight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

When mortimer strikes our little brown American Igorrotes they will begin to appreciate the convenience and utility of clothing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

The Guatemalan ants are resting Quietly inside the boil weevils, who are too busy to mention such a small matter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

General Sherman accurately defined war in the Far East.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

KuropatlSin will be glad when his long retreat IS ended.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

It Is reported that Miss Marie Cahill mas met King Edward, but his majesty escaped from the influence of her smile without injury.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

There may be more strategy and science on the old Bull Run battle ground at present, but there is not so much high record sprinting.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

General Kuropatkin should cut out his luring-on speciality.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

The Dutch in Vermont have car ried Holland
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Tim Woodruff's loud vests are hurt ing his political prospects in the race for the republican gubernatorial nom- nation in New York.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

It Is the fad for ladies at Hot Springs to ride astride and also stay or their horses as long as they can without falling off.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Oyster Bay boasts the Roosevelt atmosphere and has redeemed itself with a riot
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

The September straw hat along the Canada border has guilty called-in expression.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Autumn is engaged in the well known act of lingering in the lap of summer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Miss Loarette Jefferson. the grand daughter of Rip" will represent the sixth generation ol the Jefferson fam lly on the stage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Miss Tarbell and Tom Lawson agree that John D. Rockefeller is unsavory.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

The cooks who were outdone in Mill waul1ee were mere men.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Kuropatlkin Is undoubtedly sincere when he says he needs endorsements.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

A wave of political hot air is now fully due in all the contested states.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Kuropatkin is tiring of the Japanese game of tag.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-09

Frank " Evans and R. L. ONeal. Jr.' Ire the only authorized travelling repre- Eentatives of the Age-Herald in It's cir- sulation department.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-10
HEARST KNOWS NAUGHT
ABOUT A NEW PARTY.
He Had No Meeting with watson
and Bryan Arranged.

New York, Nov. 9.-W. r. Hearst
issued the following statement to-
night with regard to the report
that steps were being taken to or
ganize new party:
L have no knowledge of any
meeting between Mr.. Watson, Mr..
Bryan and myself.
L think the Democratic party
will reorganize itself on a basis of
true Democracy, Eliminating the
Wall street infiue3ce that proved
so disastrous in this campaign, and
1, as loyal Demockat. will be very
happy to see that done. l am al
ways ready to contribute my own
services and those of my papers to
the Democracy for reorganization
or any other purpose, If they shall
be required.
L shall be glad to work with all
loyal Democrats for the success of
Democratic principles, but l think
the loyal Democrats are quite cap
able of choosing their own leaders,
and 1 imagine this point will now
be conceded by those who endeav-
ored to force leaders upon them"