The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-02-21

The relation of life to literature is ex- tremely delicate. something quite as deli cate as the relation of nitric acid to glycerine. Miss Saucette Risingham o'Reilly of Hoagland's tenements. once applied the rules of fiction to MT. Soapy McClean. who drove the coal wagon. You shall hear about it.
 They called him Soapy because his round ,red face always seemed freshly raw from the scrubbing brush. The terms was used derisively, but to do justice, Soapy's color was natural-he couldn't help it. Saucette, born Katie, was the simplest, most thankful young thing that ever tagged ready made clothes for long hours and short pay, and when she saw the light O love in Soapy's blue eye. at Professor Pete Bendig's Dance Hall Francaise, logically she should have fallen on his neck and spoiled the story.
 Lena" she whispered. as she first stole upstairs beneath the fluttering gas jet, I'm awful scared. whatd I say if some one asked me?'
 "Aw, rats" returned Lena, a big 'ag- gressive blonde. What a kid you are! Jest watch me-" And she marched boldly in across the shiny floor and slid away upon a youths arm, calling over her shoulder, Mir. Marks-me fren'. Miss O'Reilly. Try a turn. youse two!"
 But MT. Marks, palpable wallhower, observed, gazing criminally at his boots, that he was horse at it; so KaIe stole into corner. She eyed the shiny floor, the double row of lamps with tin refiectors. the red, scalloped tissue which fringed the walls, the distant thronged counter placarded Soft drinks only,'- and decided that it was a very brilliant affair; or, as the professor, a pudgy gentleman of oiled ringlets and waxed mustache, would have said, "A swell push, meg amee-the' reg-ler bon ton.' Lena slid callously by ignoring her tall. shirt sleeved partner, in continual rally with passing admirers. Katie sighed longingly; she wondered if Lena ate ordinary food.
 Then 1t was that Soapy numbered up, arms curved far apart, as if his waist coat were red hot, and asked Katie to do him the pleasure. Awhile she thread ed the maze. sustained by his strong grip. dropping her head and replying in shy snatches; then he whirled her neatly up against the counter and ordered two softs.
 Soapy. breaking silence, said 1t was fine weather. Katie replied it was, that. Soapy, breaking silence, said it wasfne weather for walking. Katie replied 1t was that. Katie, breaking silence, said that she walked out sometimes, whereto Soapy, gaining confidence, retorted, archly, An I'll bet you don't see nothin' nicer than youdself." At the end of two more softs 1t was mutually understood, without a word having passed on the subject, that Soapy would call on Sunday next at half-past two. Eventually mar riage was understood, but here Katie caught popular disease and made the present story.
 It was an acute case of swashbuckier- ltis. The public that reads had long been treated to spring and autumn displays of sarcenets .taffetas, buff jerkins, doublets and jackboots; We had forsworn plain yea and nay by many a bold Odds bod kins!' What ho!' "ZoundsT' "By'r Lady!" and "Gadzoooks! We had sub ssited on poignards, repiers, stilettos and Milan blades with the avidity of swords swallowers; we had devoured huge pasties. swilled fiagons of Burgundy, ex- changed costumes. thrusts and kisses, galloped widely, loved madly dared des- perately and concocted state plots which were never suspected, because of their great age. These doings were entitled breathlessly. with Clank and Clang," ''To Horse and Away" When Blue Blood Flowed and Red Blood Dripped," and so forth.
 From this rich soil there spranR a towering growth called "Saucette Ris- ingham." We know that Saucette tow cred, because her copies. If piled on Broadway, would have dwarfed the Van Duyne Building-the advertisement said so. Children cried for Saucette, and those who couldn't. read began the alpha bet. No home was complete without her, and when one's home was supplied, one could buy "Saucette" collars and "Saucette" cigars, "Saucette" note paper, ''Saucette" collars and "Saucette" chew ing gum. Like the sun, somewhere Saucette was always shining. She shone into Hoagland's tenements; marked likeness between her miniature and Miss O'Reilly was observed, whereat the lat ter went about abstractedly with a dog cared book under her arm and trained a Saucette love curl to drip over her left shoulder, thereby causing MT. McClean to inquire constantly of himself as to what was bitin' the goil
 It was a delicate situation. She could not explain that Soapy lacked the cavalry boots riding cloak and clashing sword and spurs of Aide Camp Allan Fairchild; these things might not have improved him, anywhay. She could not hint that a secret and dangerous mission was preferable to coal. Above all, could