The Savannah morning news., 1904-07-10

Its no use, said Mr.. DoOley. i
give it up"
What's that?" asked Mr.. Hennessy
IT can't get away from him." Mr.
Dooley went on. Il can't escape me OF
frind Andrew Carnaygie. I've avided
him SUCCESSFULLY FIR nanny years. TIL
boolSless Ibry an tn thoughtless uni
varsity niver touched me. I'm not
enought iv a brunette to share amy
thing he done FIR Booker Washin' ton.
Up to now, he been enable to land on
me anywhere. But he's got me at
last. He's r-run me to earth. l throw
up me hands. Come on, Andrew, an
paint yeer illustrees names on me.
Stencil me with that gloryous name"
What ARE We talkin' about ?"
asked Mr. Hennessy.
He has created a hayro fund" said
Mr.. Dooley. He has put aside five
millyon dollars or it may be fifty but
anyhow more thin there is in me
sugar bowl to buy medals FIR hayroes
in tn daily walks iv life-sogers, po-
lismen an INVESTORS in steel common
walkin' home firm a picnic an we
"Trip yeersilf into tn waters if tn
Illinye an michigan canal. l can
not see me frind dhrown an besides,
Hinnissy, I'd hade to lose We as a
sparrin partner. So l take off me hat
and coat an vest, hang thin on a
three, pull off me Congress CATERS an
Fay thin in tn grass, hang me cravat
on tn fince, offer up a short prayer
and lay down on tn bank an pull We
out. / grumble at ye FIR ye'er care
lessness an We want to fight me fr
bein so rough in savin yeer life whin
ye cud have waded out without help,
an 1 break tn sthrap iv me CATERS
pullin' thin on, an we so home quar-
rellin' an jawin' an ye'er wife thinks
| pushed We in. But tn talk gets ar
round tn neighborhood an wan day a
comfy steps into me place, headed be
"a little dumping iv man, an wan iv
thin pins me hands while Andrew
Carnaygie nails on me chist a medal
all in goold, with this inscription
here it is-that Father Kelly wrote
out FIR me:
To Martin Dooley Hayro,
This Medal is Prisinted by
ANDREW CARNAYGIE
Dulcy ct decorum est pro Carnayge
TO Spoil ye'er Sunday Clothes.
I'm be so mad, I'll throw We in again
but tina twon't help mathers. I'm
hyro FIR god an all. I'm FLYER doomed
to be sandwich man an parade tn
sthreets advartisin tn gin rosity an
noble charackter iv Andrew Carnay-
gle. If We want philanthropy go to
Carnaygies. Largest assortment iv
canned charity in tn wurruld. Save
life an get a medal.
Nv worse, won't be good FIR amy
thing else. I'll have to sell out thu
liquor store. What's a hayro dom,
pushin' bottles acrost a bar an men
din a rafracthry beer pump? I'll quit
Wurruk fr good an hang ar-round a
livery stable pitchin' horseshoes.
Theyse nawthin' a hayro with medal
can do FIR Twin that amt beneath
him. Wanst a hayro. always a hayro.
Afther awhile I'll be lurkin' in tn
corner iv tn bridge an pushin' me
frinds into tn river an haulin thin
out FIR medal I'll become an habichool
Carnaygie hayro an good FIR nawthn'
else. No, me frind don't liver fall in
to tn canal whin I'm ar-round. / might
be lookin tn other way.
An think iv tn position We ar-re in
all this time tn man who's life I've
saved. Nawthin' cud be lower. Ye'er
raymimbered f'river as a foolish per-
son that cudden't swim an was dhrag-
ged from wathry grave by tn
owner iv tn Carnaygie medal
Ye'er wife despises We because We had
to have ye'er life saved, She was al
ways sure that if she ivr I'll into tn
wather, ye'er sthrong arm an risolute
heart wud riscue her an 10 an behold
whin We tumble in ye'ersilf, we have to
be rescued be a stout gintleman in the
liquor business. Ye'er little boys an
girls have to bring prisints around to
me on me birthday. Ye have to lind me
money whin | want it an IL We COM
plain, people call we an migrate. Befure
We die, yen wisht ye'd pulled me into
tn canal with We.
IT wanst knowed a Ia'ad that was
more or less riscued FIRM a wathry
grave be a tailor be tn name iv Mug
gins. He took tn la-ad be tn arms
an walked ashore with him. Well,
tn ag-nized parents, not wantin' to
appear stingy befure tn neighbors, pri-
sinted Muggins with a goold watch an
Muggins become a hayro. TIL laIad
didn't think much Nv it. He'd have
done tn same f'r Muggins. But af-
Their awhile he found that Muggins
was chained to him FIR life. As a boy,
he was spoken Nv as tn fellow that
had his life saved be Muggins TIL
tailor. AS he grew older he was still
Muggins' boy. Muggins wasn't much
to look at, being a little, bow-legged
man, but after he become a hayro,
he acted tn part. Me young frind
cudden't get away firm him. II he
was playin' baseball in tn corner lot,
iMuggins was lanin' over tn fence
with an indulgent smile. Whin he
grajated with honors at tn Brothers
School, Muggins set in tn front sea It
with a look Nv fond attintion on his
face. Whin tn Brother Superior
handed out tn first prize, he remarked
that 1t gave him great pleasure to
reward tn ability an larnin' Of this
young man in tn prisince iv tn hayro
to whom he owed his life. It was tn
same in after years. He become a
lawyer an Muggins niver missed a day
in coort. Tn lawyer f'r tn opposition
always managed TO appeal TO his finer
teelin's In tn prisince lV the man 10
whom be owed his life. If It was a
suit over a pair Nv pants, me frind
case again a tailor fr tn Jury wud al
ways vote against him. In pollyticks
he thried TO succeed but Muggins hung
on TO him Whin tn chairman ~ tn
meetin' arose, he invariably began:
Ladies an gentleman, befure iuthro-
5oocin' tn speaker iv tn avenin.' [
want to presint TO We tn man to
whom he owes his life an who is here
on tn platform tonight, Mlsther Al
phonso Muggins' Me frind Was al
ways supposed TO put his handker-
chief 10 his eyes at these wurruds an
with falterin' step escort him to tn