The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-02
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$3.50 SAAsAC INV nov gnnL.
ing he gets tanned Man and nv.
press.
DO you think you could ever marry
tor money! No. Hut I'm sure /
could soon learn to love girl who had
million or two."-Chicago Record,
Herald.
They say that, after seven rehear.
sails, Charlie Swimmihgton actually
stumbled through the wedding cere-
mony" "Oyertrained, suppose -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
SUPPLEMENTARY good hunting in
this part of the country? Native
Lots of it. Sportsman What kind If
game. Native-No ga me at all. Just
hunting.-Illustrated Bits.
Willie-Mamma, I tpld Aunt Helen
she grew homelier ev cry day. Mrs.
slimson-You didn'f tell her 1 said so,
did you? II had to, or she would have
whipped me."-Brookl1n Life.
what are they gol ng to do when
they get through tearing up the
streets?' LAY 'em lown again, Of
course! How else would anybody be
able to tear 'em up later on, silly pr
Baltimore News.
Reeder-Scott said d clever thing to-
day; said that luck is a good bit like
lightning, for it seldom strikes twice
in the same place. Heeder-Yes, aud
as rule neither Of them needs to-
Pennsylvania PuEch Bowl.
>Hannigan-Shure, there scales is no
good at all fur me. They only weigh
the heft Of two hundred pounds, an
Dom near to two hundred and fifty.
Flannigan-Well, man alive, can't 70
git on thin twice?-PhiladeIphi
Press.
Playgoer-I suppose the leading
lady is very happy after getting all
those bouquets. Usher-Oh, no. She
only got five. Playgoer-Gracious!
Isn't that enough? Usher-No; she
paid for six, l Observation-Disclosures
Press.
Kittie-Paul told me last evening I
was the prettiest girl he ever saw.
Bessie-Oh, that's nothing; he said the
same to me last year. Kittie-I know,
dear, but his taste may have improved
since then, you know.-Boston Tran
script.
Prisoner, why did you strike this
man| IF you please, your Honor,
he came to me suddenly and said,
How old is AnnY" "Well, what hurt
did that do?" "WNy, you see, your
Honor, Ann is my wife" -Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
A Volcano.-"What is a volcano?'
asked the teacher. "A mountain with
fire inside" said one. A smile of
comprehension spread over the puz-
zled face of the smallest scholar as she
asked, surprisedly. as that mountain
rangeT-Harper's Magazine.
She-I have two very dear friends
Agnes and Florence -He-Which is
the more popular? '"Oh, Agnes is
much more popular than Florence
among the girls" Introduce me to
Florence. l am partial to good-looI-
ing girls. kansas City Journal.
Mrs. Kalling-You haven't got that
splendid butler now-Mrs. Parvenu-
No, he was a fraud. Mrs. Kalling-In-
deed? Mrs. Parvenu-Yes, he forgot
himself once and neglected to DROP
his chs" so we discovered he wasn't
English at Philadelphia Ledger
He-How did you enjoy the opera
She-Oh, it was just splendid. He
Really? But it was all French
wasn't it? She-0h, no! Of course
some of the handsomeSt ones were un
mistakably Partisan, but there were
many pretty gowns that were evil
IDENTIFY made here. - Philadelphia
Press.
The Widower: "A widower," remark
ed the elderly female, always reminds
me of a baby" CLOVIS that?" queriec
the young girl. During the first siz
months he cries a good deal, the mex
| SIX nOnIuS uS DSS lAAo " AuAS ASN@~~' ~~
the odds are against his getting safely
through his second summer. "-Ch1cagf
News.
Launched on His Literary Career
~ understand your son has decided tt
60 in for literature" Eyes, and he's
made a splendid start already" 1or
don't saw" Eyes; he went to auction
this morning and bought secondhand
writing desk for only four dollars anc
ninety-eight cents."-Catholic STANDARD
and Times.
"Now," said Mrs. Biggleson's cousin
at breakfast on the morning after hel
arrival, don't make company of me
I want to be treated just as If were
one of the family" "All right" re
piled Mr.. BiggIeson, helping himsel
to the tenderest part Of the steak
"we'u try to make you feel right a
home."-Chicago Record-Herald.
The squires pretty daughter (exam
lining the village schooD-NoW, chill
dren, can you tell me what a miracl