Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-10-19
THE WRONG ELIXIR.

HE WnUNU ELlN9ns
In the days when science was more
poetical and less scientific than it is now
there lived certain alchemist He was
an old man. His feet shuffied and his
knees doddered as he walked He had
the gray and hairy face of a sick mon
i key. His knowledge was so profound
that he was generally respected, and his
! temper was so abominable that he was
intensely unpopular.
Therefore. when on a fine morning III
May he came down to breakfast with an
expression approaching complacence and
entirely omitted to curse the cook (hIs
universal procedure before taking food
| MS wife and family were surprised and
| little nervous. 1t was SO unlike him. His
wife asked him if he We're unwel. lie
not only answered the question, though
on principle he never answered his wife's
questions and usually affected not to
have heard her speak, but he even added
a thank YOU to his no" She was the
more distressed and he noticed it. He
lever thanked anybody. 1t portended
something serious.
THE fact is" he said, chat the studies
of lifetime eliminated last night in a
discovery which / believe to be of ira
portance. Hence my unusual hilarity.'
Hilarity was perhaps strong word
for it. Yet even a great and tumultuous
| Joy would have been comprehensive con-
sidering the nature of his discovery.
us it the philosophers stone?'' his wife
asked
But he was in no mood to overdo his
vein of gracious light heartedness. Te
stared at her stoniiy as if she were some
thing in a bottle which he had already
analysed. Then he shuffled out toward
his laboratory.
It was not the philosophers stone. 1t
was, if possible, an even greater discov
cry, for in the elixir which that very
night he meant to taste he held the secret
of eternal life. Eternal life was in these
dark ages considered desirable by quite a
number of people
He did not propose to communicate his
secret 10 any of his fellows. 1t was to be
| for himself alone. They would 90 ard
he would remain, growing slowly into
the wonder of the whole world. There
were even indications in his researches
that made it seem probable that with
the unlimited years OF his life there
would be an accession of youth. His
hair would grow again and he would get
new teeth and perhaps learn once more
/ the meaning of the word romance. EN-
perors would come from the east to lool,
upon him-the one man in the world who
! held the secret.
| In the meantime he was not disposed
to be idle. His ordinary avocations called
him. a gypsy faced slip of a girl had
come to him with gold pieces, got, the
devil knows how. The alchemist did not
inquire. He tested the gold and found it
true. and for this?" he asked.
There is a man." she said III tired.
uninterested way, ''who has got to die. 7
need a very swift poison and one that
leaves 10 trace OF poison in the body"
"Painless?'' he inquired.
She shrugged her shoulders. ct is of
10 Importance" she said. He begged her
to come to him again in three DAYS.
He was man OF vast experience and
had no trouble in satisfying the simple
needs of the gypsy girl. He took one
drug here and another there. He blended
and cooked and strained When he had
finished he had a pale green liquor with
neither taste nor smell a drop of ii
would have killed an elephant and 4
gallon Of it would have defied the best of
| Oe'h iAiNNtSAtl SliCIllISIS- IL NdS VI Uilc
same color as the elixir of life which he
himself was to drink that evening.
And, of course, he made the usual mis-
take. Possibly he had primed himself
with strong waters to give him courage
Tor his experiment, and the courage had
been bought at the expense of clear
headedness.
At any rate he reached his hand to the
wrong glass, and in moment it was all
over. He had drunk the poison that had
been intended for the gypsy girls faith
less lover. He lay, an untidy lump of
clay colored WORKOUT humanity, on The
studio floor, with fixed grin on his face
that would have frightened people. His
wife found him there in the morning and
Wept bitterly, and was sincerely sorry
that she would never hear him curse the
cook again. There was a glass filed
with a greenish fluid, and this she threw
away not knowing that she had lost here
the discovery that had never been made
till then and will never be made again
It seemed to her safer. The gypsy girl
was annoyed. but said nothing. She had
enough money left to buy herself knife.
and she get into serious trouble over it.
That he took the poison is undouL ted
that he took the wrong elixir is a point
on which | should like to have the dead
mans opinion. Barry Pain in London