The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1904-08-13
A Farmers Defense.

n r farmers DerenSe.
The court, jury, and spectators at a
trial recently held in Missouri We're
entertained by defendant who was
pleading his own case, in a suit
brought by a Mrs. Sarah E. Mason
against Sanford Freeman for $4,000
damages, for false arrest.
Farmer Freeman, VINO is a tall, gaunt
and awkward specimen of the genus
homo with home cut hair, and grizZled
mustache, addressed the jury, as fol-
lows:
Men, 1 am no lawyer. 1 don't know
much about law or courts. And l don't
see why l ought to pay a lawyer to
come in here and fight this case for
me. I've got nothing to hide, any
way, and my notion of lawyers is that
their strongest holt is in cOverin' up
things an tWistin' of 'em around. Now,
l amt goin to do no squirmin' nor
tWistin in this case. I'm going to stick
to facts. Ny notion of court houses
an courts is that they re places for
people to come an have their fallin's
out settled up fair and square. That's
what I'm here for. l help pay taxes
| to keep up the courts, an can't naways
see why ID ought to pay a lawyer. I
can't afford to- nohOw. I'm jist a poor
farmer, one of these fellers the city
folks calls hayseed. l work hard for
what l get. You can see that by my
hands.
Here Freeman neld out his hands,
calloused and cracked by hard work,
and turned over slowly SO the jurors
could see them we'll.
L amt much for putting on style.
It's true l try to wear tOllable good
clothes; that is, good enough for a
farmer, SOS my neighbors won't be
ashamed to have me call an see 'em.
I'm siXty-fve years old an I've al
ways worked hard for what l got. ad-
nit that l never had brains enough to
make a livin' as easy as these lawyers
do. But you twelve men look to me
like good square people, an I'm willin'
to leave my case to We, no matter how
much these smart lawyers gets up an
argefys after I'm done.
Now, l admit that l lied to this
woman. That is, l told her 1 was a
rich farmer. That was a lie, sure
enough. 1t was as big a walloper as
ever l told, an I've told some in my
time. l lied to her about that. My
only excuse is that 1 was red-hot TO
get her. l wanted her. On 1 hold that
alls fair in courtin' and boss tradin' A
man always puts his best foot forrard
when he's courtin' a woman. You men
know that. You've all been thar I'll
bet"
At this time the jurors fairly roared.
Il see the shoe pinches, the old far
mer continued. "Of course, you've all
lied to the woman you was courtin'.
'Twouldn't be naturel if you didn't. SO
when this woman told me she was
worth $4,000 | wanted her bad.
'Twasn't her l wanted so much as her
money. l tell you when l thought she
-lDn i,r1,t Nv
good to me, an l told her I was rich,
| hopin' that would help land her. OF
| found out | wasn't worth nothin she'd
a been mad, but then I'd been so good
| to her I'd smoother that all over. I'd
| a come nearer Iovin' her nearly to
| death than any man livin': that is, if
| she had the $4,000.
Il tell you. men, and YOU know it,
| too, money comes purity nigh mak'l'
| any woman look good. A woman may
have hip knocked down or two OF
! three splint knots and spavins. but if
| she's got money she looks as clean-cut
and smooth-limbed as a young colt.
| 'Tain't hard to love woman that
rich, an that's a fact. Oh, you know
| it,
| Yes. sir she looked mighty sweet to
me till l found out she had nothin' on
earth. an then she didn't look SO good.
| Her beauty jiSt seemed to fade away
with that $4,000. and l soured on her
right there. Why. men 1 can get wo-
man to marry me any day."
! Here the old man Strengthened up