The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-01-28
QUEER MR.. BINDERS
fOriginal.1

YOU v til.
"Glad you like it." said Binders.
lighting up. 81 don't value it very
highly myself"
"What II you take for itfp
"Take, for it? Why. what could it
benefit any one but me?"
THAT isn't the question. You say
you don't value it. 1 would like to
buy it."
when would you want it?'
"Buyer thirty--WEich. being inter
preted, means any time within thirty
days
What II you give?"
"a hundred dollars" Il
"By Jove, that's rood sum- And
Binders began to think what he could
do with hundred dollars.
"Oh, l see your gamer he said pres
emily. You'll call for it by sections.
That would leave me III beautiful
fix, wouldn't itT'
"I'Il call for it all ut once"
After rummaging his brain to find d
catch somewhere Binders gave me a
bill OF sale for his beard-to be called
for anywhere within thirty days or
forfeit double the price.
Now there was a reason for all this
which Binders did not understand. He
was the wealthiest bachelor ID the
town as well as the stingieSt. One day
a number of ladies came to me and
asked me if l could suggest a plan by
which they could get a donation out of
him for beney client enterprise. l told
them 1 would think it over
Binders was pushing fellow not
only In business, but socially. He was
a self made man, which was to his
credit but he didn't know what the
word modesty meant. His assurance
in making his way into society was
only equaled by his embarrassment
whenever he Numbered into a breach
ror lest he should appear in some I'M
fortunate position.
The ladies were getting up ball for
The benefit Of their charity and had APP
pointed me one of the floor managers.
| wrote requesting that my name be
dropped and Binders put on in it's
stead. This was done, and Binders
was so delighted that he at once sent
the ladies a check for so.
You are very bright said the pres
ident of the society to me. ''It is a
wonder that we didn't think of that
ourselves"
Possibly Mr. Binders donation may
be far more worthy of his social ele
vation," / replied than d niggardly
$40. Let us wait"
On the night of the ball Binders was
on hand Respondent in evening dress.
wearing the lowest cut white waist
coat, straw colored gloves and pale
green necktie that some wag had told
him was the very latest thing for balls.
No Indian chief decorated with stove
pipe i hat and soldier coat had ever
borne himself more proudly. l watch
ed him till his self satisfaction had
reached its height; then, putting on
my hat and coat, went out. Ten MIN
utes later an attendant handed him
note from me written from q neigh
boring barber shop demanding bis
beard.
= There was look Of extreme anxiety
On his face as he came in; but, at
tempting to master it, he came up to
me with a laugh and, slapping me IA
miliarly on the back. said confidently:
Its very cute of you, old fellow, aw
fully cute. OF course you don't want
your property now. You want bottle
Of champagne and you shall have it,
besides good supper after, the ball.
And now l must hurry back. The
president has done me the honor to say
she can't get on without me."2
ut won't take long. Sit down in the
chair" -,
you really don't mean that you are
in~earnest? Think how would look
going back clean shaved"
you don't need to lose your beard.
There is the forfeit, you know"
"Good gracious, man. the forfeit is
$780,!
1T only rests with you, Binders" /
said resolutely, ITO give me your beard
OF pay the forfeit"
He looked into my eye and saw that
l was not to be cajoled or browbeaten
or in any way deprived of my advan-
tage. The alternative flashed through
his mind, and his love of money for
time prevailed. He determined to re-
main away from the ball for the rest
Of the evening.
''All right" said, What excuse
VIII you giveT
Suddenly taken ILL.,"
] smiled.
81 suppose you'll knock down that
story and