Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-06-18
WHAT TWO FLIES DID

persistent fly was irritating one of the
two men on the lawn bench He kept slap
ping at the fly and growing. Although
the fly was impartially addressing it's
singing attentions to both of them. the
other man on the lawn bench never made
move toward annihilating the busy
| winged pest.
How do you stand having that con-
founded malicious fly boring into your nose
that way without making a wallop at it?'
inquired the irritated man, petulantly.
Don't mind it at ALL" replied the calm
man. Flies are pals and side partners OF
| mine. 1 haven't slapped at fly for
good many years now. Just let 'em gnaw
and gouge all they want to. The reason?
None. except that flies have saved me from
a heap of trouble On two occasions since
began to shave.
First time was when I was soldering
on the rock of Alcatraz, in the harbor of
San Francisco.
Zone nght-the night following pay day,
by the way. and as there had been much
stud-pokershness and things on payday
on guard. humping Aicatraz's No. 1 post
in the black dark. No. 1 post at Alcatraz
is the dock, far below the looming citadel
and barracks, at which the government
boat lands.
1.-The corporal of the guard Jared me
awake on my guard-house bunk at mid
night, and escorted me down to the COCK
to pound the dock post for my little two
hours.
Il walked up and down the dock for
about twenty minutes, thinking 1t over
Wondered a good deal what the deuce
was doing swinging up and down with
gun on my shoulder in the middle OF the
night when there really had never been
any necessity for me to do anything OF the
sort.
THE harbor waters, ide-bound out
through the Golden Gate. brushed purlingIy
past the dock. That was soothing So
was the resiny breeze blowing over from
Mighty soothing breeze.
Il decided to sit down just for minute
or so. At the end of the dock there was a
pile of bags Of coal that had been unloaded
from the government boat, the General NC
Dowell. the afternoon before. l sat on one
of the bags of coal, resting my gun between
ut was. as I say. the night after pay day,
and l should never have taken chance
on sitting down at all when on guard. !
nodded and fell asleep of course
"At 1 o'clock in the morning, or about
half an hour after 1 had done that unfor-
givable thing. from the military point or
view, of falling asleep while on guaro' me me
corporal of the guard had stood at the
prison railing, and making tunnel Oh MS
hands, called down to me:
lone o'clock and alls Well
"It was up to me- then, OF course, TO re-
No. /. / o'clock, and alPs well.
But how could 1 have done that when,
being sound asleep on bag OF COAL L
didn't hear the corporal of the guard!
"All of sudden 1 was awakened with
start and was brushing at my nose A
barrel of molasses had been landed on tne
dock the afternoon before, ana some U,
the treacle had leaked. That had attracted
a swarm of flies from the barracks to the
dock One of those flies had awakened me
by biting my nose.
"And maybe that fly hadn't aWakeheu
to- f1,o nj
sooner slapped at the fly than heard the
even tread of quick footsteps advancing IN
the pitchy darkness from the direction Oh
the guardhouse. The footsteps were peril
ously close, too. But was on my rect. ana
as stiff as a ramrod, and giving the VINO
1T was the sergeant of the guard-who
happened to be a man who had 1t In Tor
me-come with my relief. The corporal OF
the guard had reported to the sergeant ina.
No. / sentry hadn't responded 10 the l.
o'clock 'Alrs we'll call. The sergeant VI
the guard had hurriedly awakened my re-
lief and come after me, confidently expect,
ing to find me asleep on post. II he hao
found me asleep. you know what wouio
have been grabbed, I'd have been put In the
clink, and then would have followed the
general court-martial with all of the dismal
consequences But the fly had stung me
awake just in the instant of time. The
only thing the sergeant who had 1T IN Tor
me could do was to growltngiy INQUIRE why
1 hadn't replied to the corporals l O'CLOCK
call. l told him that the wind mad carried
the corporars hail in the other direction.
The sergeant returned to the guard house
with my relief grievously disappointed that
he hadn't been able to clink me. That was
the first time a fly helped me out noply.
Next time a fly came along and handed
me a sting at the psychological moment
l was on ship of war. was WORKING az
some books in log room on the berth
deck when the officer of the deck-he was
on the main deck-called down the after
companionway for me. l hustled out OF
the log room and rushed around the COM
panionway to respond to the summons. II
was dark on the berth side. 1 had forgot
ten for the moment that the gun crews
were overhauling the magazines that tore-
noon. At the bottom of the after ladder,
up which intended to vault to make the
main deck, magazine hatch was wide
open and yawning l didn't notice that
open hatch. 1 had a foot raised to take
the step that would have landed me, mere
mangled mess. at the bottom of the maya
zine, when fly lit right under my left eye
and gave me a bite that l can feel yet
drew back suddenly to feel of the bitten
place. SO that my foot didn't come down In
that open hatch. 1t wasn't until after l
had drawn back that I noticed the open
hatch, through which 1 had all but tossed
myself when the fly gouged me: and when
l saw 1t and perceived what a narrow shave
I'd had l was so weak that / had to Sit
down on the bottom ladder step and fan
myself with my cap for a minute before
going above to see what the officer of the
deck wanted of me.
I'm not overly sentimental, but I've
never made pass at a fly since one of
them so opportunity saved me from plung-
ing down that open hatch
Slap went the palm of the irritated man
against his trousers leg, and the mashed
fly that had been annoying him slipped off
onto the grass.
IT hope that cuss isn't any kin to either
Of the two flies that helped you out, pail
said the irritated man. but I'm blooming
glad that 1 got him. anyway"
Dustless Highways.