davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

ing into the relations between members
of the house and the post Office depart
ment.
Whatever the Mccall committee re-
ports it is not likely to soften the feel
ing of members against Fourth Assist
ant Postmaster General Bristow, who
rightly or wrongly is held responsible
at the capitol for publication Of the
names of republican and democratic rep
resentatives whose chief offense was q
desire to look after the interests of their
districts. Bristow'S name has figured
in the house debates persistently ever
since his report was published.
To add fuel to the fire some mischiey-
Gus member pinned up in the speakers
lobby where representatives do most
of their loafing during the session
a picture of Bristow taken from maya
zine representing him as keen-eyed de-
tective. Underneath was written in a
large, bold hand: 1.-The Congressman
Friend" with the following comment:
Fourth Assistant Postmaster General
Joseph l.. Rristow-'Old Sleuth.' new
and very good photograph of a man who
means business from the word go. and who
like every one else mods occasionally. as
witness the recent charge that in the heat
of his pursuit Of other men he absent mind
eddy appointed his own father and son to
lucrative posts in the department. He re-
torts that they were: regularly appointed;
but nep0tism is still Questionable, and
the retort therefore loses something of its
weight"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

important part and the Germans who
are in politics seem to have divided into
factions in the senator's home town. It
Is out of this factional disturbance that
the charges against him have grown.
Most of the witnesses who have ap-
peared before the committee are of Ger
man extraction and many of them
speak English with so marked a dialect
that the venerable members of the COM
mlttee have difficulty in comprehend
Ing what is said, while the stenographers
are driven to desperation in their en-
deavor to make an accurate report.
Charges made by reputable witnesses
are denied with emphasis by equally
reputable witnesses, so that the result
of the investigation is likely to be clean
bill of health for the senator.
The most serious charge is that made
by Leopold Hahn, whom Dietrich de-
clined to reappoint as postmaster. He
asserted before the committee that Mr..
Fisher, his successor as postmaster, had
told him that he had been obliged to
pay the senator for his appointment.
This Fisher now denies. But Hahn Of
fers in evidence a memorandum Which
he says was made at the tims and which
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
BABU FORENSIC ELoQUENcE
Speech Of a Bengah Pleader in Court
Which Savors Of Yankee
Humor.

The London Truth publishes the fol-
lowing from an American travelling in
India. He VOWS that he heard q Ben
gall pleader make the speech In q Case
in which there were cross-summonses
for assault. Maybe it has been strong
ly favored with Yankee humor, but if
not true or even new it is, at any rate,
amusing enough to print:
my learned friend with mere wind
from a teapot thinks to browbeat me
from my legs. But this is mere gorilla
warfare. stand under the shoes of
my client, and only seek to place my
bone of contention clearly in your
honor's eye. My learned friend vain
ly runs amuck upon the sheet anchors
OF my case. Your honor will be pleased
enough to observe that my client is a
widow, a poor chap with one post
norton son. A widow of this country,
your honor will be pleased to observe,
is not like widow of your honor
country. A widow of this country is
not able to eat more than one meal a
day. or to wear clean clothes or look
after man. So my poor client has
not such physic or mind as to be able
to assault the lusty complainant. Yet
she has been deprived of some of her
valuable leather, the leather Of her
nose. My learned friend has thrown
only an argument ad hominy upon my
teeth, that my clients witnesses are
all her own relations. But they are
not near relations. Their relationship
Is only homeopathic. So the misty
arguments of my learned friend will
not hold water. At least they will not
hold good water. Then my learned
friend has said that there is on the
side of his client a respectable wit
ness. viz. a pleader, and since the wit
ness is independent, so he should be
believed. But, your honor, with your
honor's vast experience, is pleased to
observe that truthfulness is not so
plentiful as blackberries in this coun.
try. And, I am sorry to say, though
this witness is man of my own
feathers. that there are in my profess
sion black sheep Of every complexion,
and some of them do not always speak
Gospel truth. Until the witness ex-
plains what has become OF my clients
nose leather he cannot be believed.
He cannot be allowed to raise a castle
In the air by beating upon a bush, so,
trusting in that administration of Brit
fsh justice on which the sun never sits.
I close my case"
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08


pension expert has thus far been able to
figure out exactly.
Mr.. Wares new ruling, it is calculated
will meet the demand for additional leg
islation and will give to the old soldiers
what they have felt they ought to have,
consideration for the disability incident
to advancing years. That old age is a
disability just as clearly as lost arm
or an internal complaint is something
which the pension Office has recognized
Tor great many years, although hith-
erto it has not assumed that the dis
abilities of age became manifest until
the veteran was Is years old.
Hereafter the veteran of the civil war
will be considered physically in a class
with the officers of the army and navy
who are entitled to retirement whenever
they reach the age Of 81.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Poisoning the Rabbits.

An interesting implement for use in
the perpetual warfare which the Aus
tralians are forced to. carry on against
the >swarms Of rabbits which infest that
country has lately been experimental
with at Victoria. 1t consists of cylinder
filled with poisonousli liquid, with foot
plate attached to it, which is placed in
any thickly infested spot. AS soon as a
rabbit presses the plate it opens valve
which sprinkles the animal with some of
the poison. The rabbit then ticks the
poison of it's fur, and the farmer is re.
lieved of one more of his pests.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
constitutes an interesting exhibit IL n
interesting case. The postmastsr's
memorandum reads as follows:

ucuOI auuum TSauS rs lOlAOW0sss .$.G%5
Conversation held between Leopold Hahn
and Jacob Fischer in regard to the post
master. wisch Mr.. Dietrich will halve TO
APPOINT or for sale as yea migth call 1t to
the higesd bider. here IS Dietrich pre-
posel to Fischer first, to pay for the new
fuhnitcher in the new room called the
Dietrich Bilding, wisch will cost abougth
4z,0o9O 90 to 10000 second to pay for all%coal
curing the four years for heating such
room, also pay part of CANTOR work
wtscf will amount to abought - take this
OF the salery of postmaster and give to
Dietrich. besides this the government Will
pay Dietrich $1,S 5000 per year rent for fur
nisching and heating the said Dietrich Bid
ing, wath kind of senator halNe the PEG,
pies got of Nebraska. -
Mr.. Adam Breed = willing too. saddice-
'fies himself as postmaster and take. the
office for $4,000 per year. and pay
Dietrich $4,000 per year out of his sa!ery
on 2,SOO.GO for the term of four years
this IS wath took place at Fischers Back
cry in the hall leading to the hacker schop
at the hour between go A. M and go
A. NJ. This is wath Jackob Fischer told
me so help me Cord every word of this Is
the truth the hole truth and nothing but
the truth so help me God this 18th day Of
April 1901, and the hour given above
LEOPOLD HAHN.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08


lawyer when he came here with
little experience in politics and
hardly any. acquaintance among the
people with whom he was called upon to
maintain close relations during four
years; but he contrived in that time to
make many warm friends who still hold
him in pleasant remembrance.
Thurber will not take rank with Cor
telyou and Lamont among the ideal"
private secretaries: but Cortelyou and
Lamont are in class by themselves to
which it is doubtful whether any others
will ever be admitted. How much of
Mr.. Cleveland's success in his first adj
ministration was due to the tact and
discretion Of Secretary Lamont will
probably never be known. but Lamont
had way Of smoothing OF the rough
edges and Of bringing disgruntled poll
ticians into line the value of which to
decidedly brusQue superior can hardly
be exaggerated. He had been schooled
among the newspaper men and poll
ticians of Albany and he fitted perfectly
into his new surroundings.
SOAIcAyOu u0u Ill MS training In the
Washington departments and no little
portion Of the political skill he deyeloped
was undoubtedly due to his close asso-
citation with President Mckinley, who
was past master of politics and to be
attached to whom was a liberal educa-
ton in its self.
Several of the secretaries Of presidents
have made distinguished records In aft
er life. Everybody knows about John
Hay John G.. Nicolay, who were with
Lincoln. Horace Porter, who was with
Grant, is now ambassador to France. C..
c. Sniffen, who succeeded Porter as
Grants secretary, is the ranking pay-
master Of the army and will be paymas-
ter general upon the retirement of Gen.
Dodge. Stanley Brown, whose name be-
came familiar during the last illness Of
Garfield, afterwards married Molly Gar
field and is a professional man of stand
ing in Washington. Dan Lamont is one
of the big financial magnates Of New
York. E. w. Halford, Harrison's secre-
tary, is paymaster in the army, and
Cortelyou is in the cabinet.
H. LOUIS A COOLIDGE.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Facatioul.

II was coming down the steps of the
criminal court building few mornines
ago, accompanied by a friend of mine
who is a bit waggishly inclined some
times" said A. H. Hummel, the law
yer, when he quite suddenly turned
to me and inquired: BY the way, have
you ever heard the yarn about the three
wells? On my admitting my IT,
n0rance. he exclaimed:
"'What. never heard the story of the
three wells?'
No I repeated. For 4 moment he
gazed at me with look of contempt
mingled with pity, and then muttered
softly, but most deliberately, Well, well.
WELL IN. Y. Globe.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
RAILWAY BUILDING IN CHINA
Some of the Difficulties with Natives
That Beset Purchasers of
Rights Of Way.

1t is the custom of the Chinese to
bury their dead wherever a geomancer
indicates lucky place, and that
place Immediately becomes sacred. In
land which has been so densely popu-
lated for thousands of years, graves
are, therefore, not only innumerable,
but omnipresent. In my travels In
China, writes Arthur Judson Brown,
in the American Monthly Review of Re-
views, I was hardly ever out of sight
! OF these conical mounds of the dead
and, as rule, could count hundreds
OF them from my shendza (litter). In
such circumstances, no degree of care
can avoid the irritation caused by rail-
way construction. The following illus
| tration of which wrote at the time
is worth repeating as a characteristic
:: instance of this.
In building the line from Tsingtau
to Kiochau, a distance Of 46 miles, the
Germans. as far as practicable, ran
around the places most thickly covered
with graves. But in spite of this, no
less than 5000 graves had to be re-
moved. 1t was impossible to settle
with the individual owners. as it was
difficult in many cases to ascertain
who they were, most of the graves be-
ing unmarked, and some of the fam
lilies concerned having died out OF
moved away. Moreover. the: oriental
has no idea of time, and dearly loves
to. haggle, especially with a foreigner,
whom he feels no conjunction in
swindling. So the railway company
made it's negotiations with the local
magistrates, showing them the routes
indicating the graves that were in the
way, and paying them an average OF
three dollars (Mexican) for removing
each grave, they to find and settle will,
the owners. This was believed to be
fair, for three dollars is a large sum
where the coin in common circulation
is the copper "cash," so small in value
that 800 of them equal a gold dollar
and where a few dozen cash will buy
days food for an adult. But while
some of the Chinese were glad to &C.
cept this arrangement. others were
not. They wanted more. or they had
special affection for the dead, or that
particular spot had been carefully Sc
lected because it was favored by the
spirits. Besides, the magistrates
doubtless kept part of the price as
their share.
In these circumstances. we should not
be surprised that some of the most
furiously anti-foreign feeling in China
was in the villages along the line OF
that railroad. Why should the hated
foreigner force his line through their
country. when the people did not want
it? OF course, 1t would save time,
but, as an Official naiyely said: I'VE
are not in hurry" So the villagers
watch the construction with ill-con-
cealed anger, and to-day that railroad.
as we'll as most other railroads in North
China. can only be kept open by de-
tachments of foreign soldiers at all
the important stations. saw them at
almost every stop-German soldiers
from Tsingtau to Kioachau, British
from Tongku to Peking, French from
Peking to Poating-fu. etc.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Deciding Their Future.

When he was II years old, the late
Sir Henry Keppel, the little admiral
of the British fleet, and his brother Tom
were asked by their father what pro
fession they would select, and both de-
cided for the navy. Father thought. .
Sir Henry wrote in his memoirs. 1--WE
should have separate professions. AS
we disagreed, hit Tom in the eve,
which he, being bigger, returned with
interest. When we had had enough, ia
Their decided we should both. be sailors. .
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

with statesmen on
Capitol hill by the
ruling he has just
made which liber-
allies the pension
laws. Had some
thing of this sort
not been done con-
gress would prob
ably have taken
things into its own
hands and passed
q bill for a service
pension that would
have meant the ex-
penditure of mil
lions of dollars on
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

Cleveland,s second
term in the white
house, has just died
at Detroit, Mich.
Thurber was a
very loyable man
who was devoted to
his chief and who,
in spite of his own
attractive qualities,
sometimes made
enemines among
public men in
w a s h / ng ton
through what some
Of them regarded
as an excess of
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Golden Rule in Franco

We have just seen French trans)a.
ton of one of Mr.. Roosevelt's books. and
in casually running through it we come
upon most delightful thing. Mr.. Roose-
welt had quoted the famous remark Of
Senator ingalls, to the effect that I'm
politics the Golden Rule and the Ten
Commandments are an iridescent
dream" To this quotation the French
translator felt it necessary to append
an explanatory footnote which reads
as follows: "The Golden Rule: One
of the aphorisms ascribed to Pytha-
goras. "-Bookman.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

winch the Vener-
able Mr.. HOar is
chairman, aninter-
esting entertain
ment in the form
Of the investiga-
ton he has de-
manded into the
charges preferred
against him by
some Of his local
opponents.
Out in Nebraska
the German popu-
latiOn with which
the senator is at
61iAfed nlavs an
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

by the feeling f'o
aroused against him among the old SOL
diers who felt that they were treated
with Indifference and who certainly
were justified in complaining of lack Of
tact. The storm against his predeces-
sor, Commissioner Lochren, was fully
as bitter. He went out of Office with the
Cleveland administration in order to
take a place on the bench. Harrison's
commissioners. Corporal Tanner and
Green B. Raum, on the contrary, were
charged by the critics of the administra-
tion with too liberal an Interpretation of
the law. w. w. Dudley, who was COM
missioner under Arthur, became polit-
ical issue on account Of his famous let
ter dividing Indiana "tloaters" into
blocks of Ave"
John C. Black, the present head of the
grand army ard member of the civil
service commission, was popular among
the veterans and was never charged with
lax administration Of the law, but even
he was subject to criticism because he
was drawing pension Of So q month
for total disability while he was acting
as pension commissioner under Cleve-
land.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Envious.

= Stubb-Why does the, chauffeur of
that terrible racing machine look SO
downhearted? = 49, -
! .Penn-Some one told him there are
stars that travel at the ratepf a thou
sand miles a minute. Chicago Daily
News { -. ( q
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

the Dietrich hear
ing there is the
trial. Of Reed 8mo0t
before the commit
tee on privileges
and elections to de-
termine whether 4
M or mon apostle
can properly hold \
seat in the senate,
while in the house
Of representatives
Mr.. McCall's COM
mittee is busily
engaged in inQuir-
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Elsie Cheated.

Elsie Cheated. z
Said an indignant mother to her.
young son. why did you strike little
Elsie. you naughty boy?'''': -: . I
= Dick, indignant in turn. exclaimed,
what did che want to cheat for.
them. :.~. : H.: 2* - s.
"How did she cheat?" asked man,
ma. 81 :. -. --~:- <; s.
why" exclaimed Dick, I'VE were
playing Adam and Eve. and she had
the apple to tempt me with, and she
never tempted me, but went and ate
it up herself" World. !.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

with uxue professor of gold coned from the ruddy drops that
visit the sad heart of the patient oer the kenest whose sp
ual has been bunted with schengs instead of him
being the business mant rather the honest laborer who
OF his face time of maintains the OF the
and in time Of fights its battles 1t he who stands with
guard of the American
ideals and him look for the realization of
moral opuence and material greatness.
We need help from that class of peope-the wine pa
trotmthe of their ballots win
mospere and provide tonic which the state Strong
and great.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
The Old Mans ADVICE

He-If you don't intend to break
your engagement with me. why do you
allow young Richmann to make you
such valuable presents?
She-My father advised me to accept
them.
''He did? Why?'
HE said II married you they might
come handy on rent days"-N. Y.
Weekly.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
The Renl 6 Business Man :
BY HON. JAMES E. VARDHAM,.
Governor Of Mississippi.

The disposition on the part Of the masses in re-
cent years has been to turn the reins of government
over to the favored few and the favored few have
been most active and influential in producing the
disposition. >ss. - 49, - .>.;
In latter day political parlance, the term "busi-
ness man" describes anybody except the man who
tolls The important fact is overlooked absolute
ly that the only real wealth is the labor Of man.
The mountains might be of solid gold, and the
rocks of refined silver, and yet, the world would
starve without the product of human toll.
Therefore, instead of the little creature swollen
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Some Hope.

Mrs. Hiram Offen-What! another
dish broken? See here, Bridget, at that
rate, my dishes won't last month.
. Bridget-Oh, don't worry about thot.
Oi'll be lavin' ye before a month,
ma 'am.-Philadelphi Press.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

This" said Mrs. Gotrich, lis one of
my distinguished ancestors-my great.
great, great grandfather, in fact" =.
>"'s it possible?" murmured Mr..
Thtchedde. "Why, he doesn't look to
be a day over Chicago Tribune.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

Lady-What! you've just come out
of prison? l wonder you are not
ashamed to own it.
Ne'er-do-Well-I don't own it, lady
wish did. l was only lodger.-Ally
Sloper.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

"You don't seem to be able to keep
he children quiet. Maria. Bring them
In to me and I'll sing to them"
"Oh, I've threatened them with that,
mum, already, but it don't do any
good. Commercial Tri-
bune
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Order Of the Dav,

Investigations are very much in or
der at the capitol just now. Besides
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Epitaph.

Beneath this mound lies all we found
OF little Johnny Green.
He went one night, by candle light,
To get some gasoline.
-Judxe
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
OFFICIAL TROUBLES
DIFFICULTIES OF PUBLIC sERV-
ANTS AT THE CAPITOL.
PENSION COMMISSIONERS
Theirs q Position Hard to Fill Salts
factorily to All Concerned-The
Investigation Of Senator
Dietrich.

Neutrality-suspicious. Commissioner
Ware has gone far to establish himself
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

Senator Dietrich's Case.
Senator Dietrich, of Nebraska, is af-
for6ing the judiciary committee, of
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Hard to Please.

Should Commissioner Ware reap in
popularity fruits of this new order he
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

A Long-Felt Want.
There's chance for some inventor
To spend his days in clover.
BY devising cloth for overcoats
That will fade alike all over.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
His Objection.

La Montt-Say, old man, there IS 1
widow down the street, who keeps .
tobacco store: Why don't you buy your
cigars from her? IS
. Il Moyne-Because never did fancy
widow weeds Chicago Daily News
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
ooin9 Il Blind.

Parke-Poor old jenkins! No wonder
he failed-put all his money into 4 thing
that he was entirely ignorant about.
Lane---Well, maybe it wasn't his fault.
I've done the same thing.
.How's that 70 =. s, Al. z5s. .e.-
We'll, I've often put all my money into
my wife's clothes. "-Brookly Life. .
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08
Cruel Girl,

The love-lorn youth heaved sigh.
As the maid of his choice passed bigh,
For she had new beau,
And he hadn't sheau
For even one glance from her eigh.
philadelphia Inquirer.
The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1904-04-08

Aoo Alduc ne Will
be in a class almost
by himself. 1t has
been notorious that
commissioners OF
pensions have lost
popularity or pres
tige by their con-
duct Of the bureau
and some of them
have lost both.
O Com m j s s Toner
Evans, who tried
to administer the
bureau honestly,
was driven out of it
l. 49,