The Springfield herald., 1904-10-21
TRIBULATIONS OF A GREAT
GRANDFATHER.


Ticket-He Takes Issue with Young
Alton Upon Nearly Every Point. but
Finally succumbs to Drowsiness
and IL Put to Bed.
Elkins, Sept. %.
Dear Sonny:
don't know what's the matter with
me. can't seem to rccollect anything
that has happened since ! made my pro-
lection speech in the Senate in 1888.
That was the greatest effort OF my-or
my stenogra apher's-life.
When l went upstairs last night
forgot what l had gone for and had
to call my boy, Steve Elkins, up to tell
me. Quicker'n shootin' he pointed to
the bed and began helpin' me of with
my Congress CATERS. That's jest like
q Republican, thinkin' of what we ought
to think of first and doin' what we amt
got git-up-and-Eit enough to do for our
selves.
And now a few words about your let
ter of acceptance. Don't git hot under
the collar if an old man of so takes
the privilege of speakin' his mind.
You begin by talkin' about centrnliza-
tion. Where have you been living the
last forty years? Don't you know that
the principle that the Union is bigger
than any of its parts was settled by the
war. when l laid the foundations of
my fortune sellin' horses to the Federal
army?
Don't fash yourself about some youth
full Napoleon usurpin' any dangerous au-
thority over the S0,OOOOOO American
sovereigns. They all know their rights
as well ns Dave Hill, and knowin', dare
int i'm, ha <0v n
any other nation. as your friend of '06
and 1900. Billy Bryan. would say.
What's this thing imperialism" you
talk 80 much about? In my opinion it's
all tommyrot. There's no more impe-
rialism in the United States than in
the knothole stuffed with the cluy Of
imperial Caesar.
You make me weary when you talk
about the President of the United States
developing such tremendous power from
year to year until it almost equals that
of many monarchs." What sort of small
potatoes do you take the President of
this republic for? You may think he
Is of no more account than the King
of Greece or the Akoond Of Swat, but
at my age I'm not runnin' for the remote
chance of succeedin' to an office no big
ger than some hop O. my thumb might
get by accident.
Don't yon know that If we follow "the
footsteps of our fathers We must march
toward the past? Following the foot
steps of ancestors can only lead to the
cradle or the tomb. And though they
say that l nm in my second childhood
and have one foot in the grave, I prefer
standin' in the footsteps of the livin' to
followin' the footsteps of the dead.
Act-act In the living present!
Heart within, and God o'erhend!
has always been the motto of your as
pirin' Uncle Gassaway.
Talk Of lust of power. What are we
in this race for? never lusted for any
thing as lust after the presidency
of the Senate, with n reversionary inter-
est In the Presidency of the United
States.
Your ideas on the tariff nre as hnzy as
the vision of a six-day-old steer. Here's
what said in 1888, and it's good doc
trine yet:
am for tnrin that will yield sufIicIent
revenue for the economical and proper ex-
pendItures Of the government. and In that
tarin believe incidental protection to our
Industries is right and proper.
If tariff for protection is robbery,
to the penitentiary with the whole outfit!
We can't cozen the people by denouncin'
the crime while supportin' the govern
ment OH the swng.
see you have lugged in the old chest
nut about protection building up ''the
business and property of the few Mt the
expense of the many" Don't you know
that property and wealth in the United
States was never ms widely distributed
as to-day? that in all industries more
than 60 per cent of the gross income
goes to the wage-earners, and that the
wage-earners are our only true imperial
ists2
notice with qualification that you
sidestep in regard to trusts.
was deeply affected by your reference
'to our martyred President, William
Mckinley" Let me recommend his care
fully thought-out policies to your study
and adoption. Otherwise this appreci-
alton of the dead leader will rebound to
the honor and glory of his young sue
cessor in the White House. who has not
swerved n hairs breadth from the chart
laid down for him by William McKin-
ley.
What do you mean by "tolcrating
tyranny in the Philippines? Who's
playin' Andy Jackson over there?
Do you know the record of our Dem
ocratic Congressman on the subject of
civil service-how they have persistent
ly voted to withhold the appropriations
necessary to the administration of the
statute? Alton, il we can't be elected,
let us be honest.
You talk about "the Executive acquir-
ing the Panama route and rights" Don't
you know that these wefe acquired by
the government, and not by the execu-
tive? The Senate ratified the treaty and
Congress appropriated the money to
clinch the opportunity to do what you
say "has long been the hope of our
statesmen, to-wit, dig the canal?' If you
are in earnest about the right to dig hav-
in been wrongfully obtained, why don't
you urge its remuneration? There are
still revolutionists on the isthmus who
would welcome a return to the good old
days of "Revolutions on the half shell
while you wait"
Don't you know that American bot
toms carry such n contemptibly small
fraction of our exports and imports, "
because foreign bottoms carry them Mt
such contemptibly cheap rates that our
people can better afford to pay the rnte
than withdraw their funds from better
investments? If you favor ship subsi-