Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-06-11

~ Iiiii3 ~ Hirt-Aid3o f<oou itiiONs though
he lacks enterprise, like all the rest of
| the kings. ] told him about my model
OF a throne for him. and he made an ~.
poiltment with me To show it TO him the
next day. So ] went 10 nav hotel con.
,idcrabiy encouraged, and got ont the
GOdI and polished up the Gilt work and
20 on. and took il round TO the Emperor
ut the appointed time. II was lust the
sort Of throne he needed. There was i
Lig armed chair for him tu sit i'm. and 4
rack behind it where he could hang up
his crown and seepter when he happened
TO be alone for a few minutes. There
were drawers i'm the throne where he
/ could keep paper and ink. and telegraph
/ forms. and a. telephone instrument all
ready to be connected with. the public
wires. Then there was a cupboard with
painting materials, in case the Emperor
should suddenly want to paint picture.
and there was violin and an accordion.
IN ease he should want to make little
music. And underneath the throne was
II shelf, with glasses and stone Jugs, and
a reservoir holding twenty gallons Of
beer. that he could draw by pressing a
button whenever he might want to be
a little friendly with visiting king, or
an uiiiUuS@tdbF. on a minister
The Emperor looked Tie throne all
| through, and said that it was wona -
| full invention. and that he would give 4
good deal If he could use il. Only saws
he, the trouble is that | must use the
throne of my snmted grandfather III I
Gidn't, it would look very inconsistent
with the remarks | sometimes make
about him.
our grandfather was all right, your
majesty, says |, but he's back number
now. What you need is an up-to-date
throne. and here you've got it. Give me
an order, and I'll have a throne here for
You in four weeks time
But couldn't get an order out Of
him. That grandfather of his always
blocked the way.
He said good-day to me- Just as polite
rs YOU please, but when | called again
at the palace, which | did every day for
the next four days, he always sent down
word that he wasn't 1T home. and the
last day policeman told me that If t
showed myself in the palace ward again
he would lock me up. Sol gave up Bier.
I'm rs bad job, and went to Russia. 10
Try ii | could get an order from the
Gar.
II had n throne that | knew would
meet the wants of Russian emperor
II was built on the principle of our
American desks that have place for d
typcWiting machine that lets YOU lower
the machine into the interior of the desk
when it isn't in use This Russian throre
was built of Harveyized steel. and
couldn't be penetrated by any rifle that
has yet been made. The Emperor could
sit in Il chair ON this throne quite com.
Portable, until somebody should begin To
shoot At HIM Then all he had to do was
to press a spring, and his chair would
sink down into the throne, and steel
tropduor would close over him, and there
he would be, safe and sound. no matter
how long the aSsassins might keep on
shooting. There were other points about
this particular throne. but / have given
You the central idea about il. | had Il
big .t2-caliher revolver in the throne, that
meant to experiment with, bv show
INK the Emperor how completely the
steel would resist the bullets. but cal.
ctllate ! made mistake in not hiding tA
revolver when | came TO cross the Rus.
sian trentier. Anyhow, when the custom
house officers found IL. they arrested mo.
and eoRilScated the model of the throne,
swearing that it was an informal machine
Tor blowing mp the Gar. They kept me
IN Jail tor the hest part of week, ana
then the American ambassador got me
released, ON condition that | would leave
ku~~ia at once, and never enter il again.
II said 20 my self that | would try one
more king, and that ii | made a failure
with him la quit the throne business.
Tins time ! went To Rome, and had 4
nice interview with the Italian King.
He's Il little chap, hut he's all right. ex.
cept, of course, in the matter OF enter
prise Our ambassador presented me.
aud | brought the model for an Italian
throne To- the palace Il few days later.
IL WAS the haudSomest that Is To say
the shoWiest- throne had made, for Inc
Italians 20 IN for show most as much as
our own people do. The throne was inst
. solid mass of gilt. with imitation ,lia
nonds let into il every three inches
apart, 1t had nice little wine cellar
underneath, something like the beer
restNolr IN the throne | meant for the
German Emperor, only this was smaller,
and was fitted With an arrangement for
cooling the wine with ice. There was
4 hand organ concealed in the throne,
which the King could play by working
a crank with his foot and told him
shat ii would he popular feature of his
receptions ii he we've 10 play this organ
all the time that folks were being pre-
sented 60 him, The King vas nightly
pleased with the throne, and he eallea
his little daughter, who was about two
wears old, as should nudge and made
her sit down on it aud work the organ
he offered TO buy the model for his daugl,
ter, Ia use rs baby house, but ,lida't
hike the idea A. tor buying throne
for himself. he mCrcly laughed at the
proposal lie said hc never had throne.
ami that hc iust used an ordinary ehair
he said that there Were - MANY renub.
hcaUs in his doNiBionS that They
wouldn't stand his setting up Il regular
thrOae, tsivd "a convince him tlat
being a king in active service he ought
u pat on all the style he could command.
haJ he wouldn't agree with rue, Ths
plain truth i, that he hadn't the enter.
prise To want To ia anything new. He
had betn coutentcl with ms mann armed