Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-09-13
ALL Grew POOR THEN
AVERAGE WOMAN THINKS IT IS
HORRIBLY MEAN.
Her Brother Nan Does Likewise, but
He is Not Quite as Upset
Over It.

Over It.
Strenuous days these for the District as |
SCISSOR and his worthy helpers, the personal |
tax appraisers This is the season of the |
distraint of property on the part of the Of
ficials for the property owners failure to |
deposit with the collector of taxes the re-
ouisite shekels for the privilege of owning
a personal estate-more than the law al
lows one to own without paying for the
privilege.
Ordinarily Assessor Darneille and Person
al Tax Appraisers Nye and Mckenzie are
considered mighty fine gentlemen, and citi-
zens having dealings with any of these Of
ficials under ordinary circumstances are
impressed with their genial personality and
upright bearing. That is under ordinary
circumstances and at ordinary seasons of
the year. The season Of distraint of prop
erty, however, is an extraordinary period.
and judging from some of the remarks
made by citizens during little heart-to- heart
talks at the assessors Office these days an
outsider might be led to the erroneous be-
lief that the officials were "second-story
workers." gentlemanly amateur cracksmen
or arch conspirators against the prosperity
of the well-to-do class. There are large
punches of combustible language flying
around the District building at times, and
for the protection of the officials all articles
handy for heaving have been moved far
from the reach Of citizens who might de-
sire to commit assault upon the men who
are trying to enforce the laws made by
your Uncle Samuers chosen people in the
large white structure on the hill.
When Tempers Rise.
The display of temper at the assessors
office during this period Of the year is not
monopolized by the masculine portion of
Washington property owners. No, indeed.
In fact, the feminine property owners, 1t
seems, compose the majority of irate COM
piainants. and in their opinion, Judging
from their acrid remarks, the personal tax
laws were invented solely for the purpose
OF arousing ladies' ordinarily of sweet and
placid disposition to state Of vociferous
wrath $50
Nowadays, when feminine property
owner comes rushing into the assessors
office Oh the first floor of the District build
Ing, and from the outside of the cage in
CURES IN burning tones for that horrid
assessor or those ''merciless personal tax
appraisers" the clerks In the Office duck
their heads and stuff cotton in their ears
to prevent having their feelings lacerated
by what they know is coming. The guard
lar OF the portals of the cage then loosens
the latch-the assessors latch string hangs
on the inside these days-and invites the
fe minnie householder within, while the as
SCISSOR sits tight and endeavors to appear
~>"5AASSN 80 eAS pa oSPCSt VI Inc VISlt
He Is In for It.
us this the ASSESSOR" begins the irate
female, in tone calculated, to stop the
clock on the officials desk
Il have that honor. madam replies the
assessor, courteously, hoping by tact to
avert the storm Of wrath impending.
What do you mean by robbing me of
my property; taking away my goods and
making beggar OF me ?''o - So
The assessor, any one will admit. bears
no resemblance whatever to a highway
man, and he looks his surprise, but merely
| asks: What seems to be the matter?'
Matter" and for fear the official and
all the employees in the six-story building
occupied by the District government have
not heard, she repeats it in louder tone:
Matter! 1 am being robbed! Who made
| this assessment? Who said I had this
property? Who said 1t was worth 50 GOO?
\ 1t is an outrage"
| Madam, we are only carrying out the
| provisions of the law" replies the assessor
cheerful like although he knows that the
| worst is yet to come.
Law Provisions of the law-I am as
J tonished that such practices can exist UNI
| der the guise of law. l never sent in any
| such list of property. How did you get
| it?"
| Will You Swearp
That is a secret of the office, madam.
We have various ways Of getting our in
| formation. Sometimes from servants,
| sometimes from NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. ways.
| Will you take oath that you do not own
| this property assessor"
| mo, I won't. I won't take oath to any
| thing. What right have you to assess me
| on these things" pointing to a list which
she waves in her hand, as though chal-
longing some one to mortal combat
The assessor then endeavors to explain.
| Madam he says. under the law we ao-
| vertise the fact that 1t is the proper time
to make returns of personal property
Il never saw the advertisement.
| Property owners were properly notined
to call and get blanks and make out their
return of possessions. If that is not done
the appraisers have to obtain list of the
property in some way. After the returns
are in you have a right to appeal to the
board of review from the assessment MADE
by the appraisers. If you fail to do this
you are guilty of laches--
II am guilty of nothing.
"You are guilty of laches," repeats the
assessor. You sleep your rights
Il haven't slept anything haven
slept wink since l heard or TINS outrage
Gus assessment" .
"And you have no remedy thereafter
says the assessor. finishing scant nose ,
ahead in the verbal race, and pulling up
slightly winded by the effort.
A Piece of Her Mind.
The visitor then usually proceeds to ap-
praise the appraisers at a value placed
upon them by whatever enemies they may
have; TO take ran out OF Sohsio""' ~
to rap roundly with her verbal hammer
against the whole system of taxation 1or
revenue only. When she has eased what
mind she has with her, the feminine prop
erty owner permits the assessor to make
further explanation and suggests whatever
remedy seems advisable for her relief. But
not until she has had her say In nearly
! all cases will the female taxpayer listen to
|, | reason.
The assessor usually finds some way to
relieve the lady property owner of her anx-
iety and wrath but the greatest relief to
her, usually, is in 'speaking her MIND,
frankly and forcibly, without fear or favor.
Sometimes it is necessary to- send for the
personal tax appraisers before the matters
can be adjusted, and then the appraisers
share the assessors burdens.
The masculine cpnplainants are easier to
handle as a rule. They realize, perhaps,
| that there are Mindo,ds nearby and that