davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

A Chicago man has discovered the
eleventh commandment. Which gives
the other Chicago men just one more
commandment to break
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
Not So Low

First HobO-The woman at the house
on the hill wanted TO know when 1 took
my last bath
Second DittO-You ought to have told
her that. although we had to beg our food,
we hadn't got so low as TO have to do
our own waShiug.-BOSton TRANSCRIPT
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
And Maybe II won,t Taste Bad

i would rather go down to eternal
oblivion than be instrumental in the
election OF Roosevelt. William Jen-
nings Bryan. Let Tom Watson put
that in his pipe and smoke it.-Houston
Chronicle.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
Accomplished

Hi Hawbuck-Hez thet son O. yourn
larned anything at college this year?
Rube StubbletTee-Yew bet, He's larn-
ed thet he kin most shock the corn by
swearin at it.-Chicago News
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
horticultural

Wears Daughter-Well John. I see you
are looking as young as ever.
JOhn-Yes. miss. thankyee. An they
tell me Ill soon be an octogeranium.-
Punch.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
Have eeneraI Apathx on the Run

New York Republicans are percepti-
bly, annoyed over the discovery that
Iammany has reserved several bril-
liant bursts of speed for the home
stretch.-AnacOnda Standard.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
Safe and Sane AGAIN

Seven minutes continuous cheering
for Mr.. Cleveland Well. well. what
are the Democrats coming to?-Indi-
annapolis News.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

ly Republican we can just see them fix
a beaming eye upon the Hon. Andrew
~
J. Volstead.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
Wants Credit for Carrying the State

Just TO show that he believes the
country is safe, Senator Fairbanks is
going 10 waste few days making Re-
publican speeches in Ohio.-Washing-
ton Post.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

st. Petersburg issuance Of an or
der by the governor general Of Warsaw
for the troops to fire at assaiant. instead
Of in the air. if they were peted with
stones. led to a demonstration at VIOLA
COssacks with drawn swords charged the
mob. many persons on both sides being
wounded.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

Madrid-The political deadlock has been
arranged by the adoption by the chamber
of deputies of a resolution. which had
agreeing TO refer the question of the pros
ecUtion of deputies to the court of cassa-
tion.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

LondOn-King Edward. who is taking
a warm interest in the victims Of the
Russian attack on British fisherman has
sent Sir Frederick Treves. the royal sur
Seon in ordinary, to superintend an oper-
alton that is to be performed on Boat
swain Hoggart, of the steam trawler
Crane
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
News Condensed

Berlin-The federal council has ex
pressed the opinion that the present re-
gent of Lippe- -Detmold, Prince Leopold.
Is entitled to the regency. and that other
disputes relative to the succession should
be decided by a court formed, under the
presidency of some German prince. of
members of the imperial supreme court
The Lippe-Detmold government has as
sented
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

Washington. D. C.-Gen Emilio Nunez.
governor of Havana. gave a glowing pic
tUTe of the substantial advance in almost
all lines made by Cuba since the island
was released TO its people by the United
States
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

Washington. D. C.-Dr w Evans Dar-
by, secretary of the Peace Society Of Lon,
don, England. presented to President
Roosevelt a memorial from the society
urging that a treaty Of arbitration be ne
gotiated between the United States and
Great Britain.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

When the Republican managers
claim that the next house viii be safe
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

Fall
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

One of these days some enthusiastic
Russian admiral will pot the czar by
mistake.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

Washington D. C.-France and the
United States expect to begin the nego-
tiations of an arbitration treaty at Wash
ington soon after the presidential cleo
tiOn. Great Britain and Italy will probably
follow suit.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

Kingston. Ontario-Rev DR.. McComb.
professor Of theology in Queens uuiver-
sity has foresworn PresbyteTianism and
joined the Anglican church He viii take
a charge in the United States.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01
sSpNf4isi
Rixsr RuIIetin-s a. m.

swashingtcss time G p m st. Paul
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

The Hague-The remains of ex-Presf-
dent Kruger. of the Transvaal Republic.
were removed from the cemetery and
taken to Rotterdam for conveyance to
South Africa
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

New York-November dividend declara-
tions already reported by Industrial cor
pcrations show a large falling off-Sl3,-
last wear.
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

The Trans-Atlantics give a varied
and pleasing show at the Star this
week. The oiio is excellent and con-
tains a touch of Orientalism in the act
of Japanese equilibrist. Comedy and
music abound. sas
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

Panama Gov. Davis has appointed new
mayors judges, treasuTers and secre-
taries for the municipalities in the canal
zone, All are natives with one excep-
ton
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

St. Louis. Mo.-The exposition company
has reduced the balance due upon the
United States government loan Of $780,
600 TO $191, ,S50.S1 by depositing $50o.9eD
The Saint Paul globe., 1904-11-01

prussels-A Russian loan of S27G. 600 600
Was signed on Saturday. The Rothschilds
guarantee the success OF the whole loan.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
ROMANCE IN Y
beautiful Young Woman SIyly Traps
"a Wealthy SuitOr in a Scheme
for Gain.

Recently an elderly oil merchant,
who has for many years lived in
Smyrna, fell in love with a beautiful
young girl of the same city and asked
her to marry him. She refused at first,
but finally said that she would become
his wife if before the ceremony was
performed he would present her with
the handsome house which he owned
in the center of the city. He promised
to do so, and straightway the necessary
deed was drawn up, signed and handed
to the covetous damsel, the understand
ing being that the marriage was to
take place on the following morning,
relates the New York Herald.
That night the young lady slept in
the newly-acquired house, and at the
hour appointed for the ceremony the
elderly sutton presented himself at the
door in his new wedding garments.
Instead, however, of receiving him as q
sweetheart should, the young lady no
sooner set eyes on.him than she rushed
to the door and gave him, with the aid
OF a stalwart youth, with whom she
appeared to be on very friendly terms,
a drubbing, which was so severe that
he was hardly able to crawl away from
the spot.
After he had disappeared the faith
less sweetheart and her companion
barricaded themselves in the house
and, though the disappointed oil mer-
chant formally demanded that his
property be returned to him, no atten,
ton was paid to him.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
WORSE THAN PUGILISM.
Claims More Victims Than
the Prize-Riag.

Which is the more destructive to lif,
and l~imb-football or pugilism? Statis-
ties gathered by the New York World
show 124 deaths from prize fighting
since Tom Falkner was knocked out
in England in 1858, the list ending with
five in this country during 1903. Dur
ing 1902 the prize ring had seven vic
tins; in 1901 the number was eight;
and it was ten in 1900. For some OF
these deaths men have gone to prison.
but the great majority of the men who
gave the death blow were not even ar
rested. The figures show conclusively
that the sport" of the prize ring is
brutal, and deserves repression. 1t is
happily, not a popular sport in thi.
country, thanks to u~nfriendly laws, says
the Baltimore Sun, and does not at
tract the unfavorable attention that is
given to football. The latter sport
seems, however, ever more objection
able, if account be taken of the num-
Der and character of the victims. The
World notes that the football a
is barely six weeks in length, and the
number of players is fully 20 per cent.
greater than of the pugilIsts. "These
two facts" the World says, "in con
sideration of results, indicate that the
percentage is against the football play
err" He is in more danger than the
pugilist.
Facts collected by Prof. g. e. Dexter,
Of the University of Illinois, from go
American colleges show that in the last
ten years out of 210,334 students %, 766
played football, and of this number 654
were seriously injured and ia were
killed. In 1902 the seriously injured
numbered 143, and ~ were killed. In
some years one player is killed or
manned for each day of the playing sea-
son In view of Prof. Dexter's figures,
it is impossible to assert that the game
is maintained in the interest of the ath-
letic development of students, since it
is shown that but 1913 per cent. of the
students play football. A form of ex-
ercise in which only about one student
out of ten engages cannot conduce
greatly to the physical development Of
the student body as a whole. The
tenth students field practice does not
affect the muscles, heart and lungs Of
the other nine. The football game Is,
in fact, for nine-tenths of the boys only
a spectacle, and for the rest largely
an occasion of %idleness, d, -sipation and
decentralization. This is, unfortunately,
too much the character of all college
sports. Athletic exercise in the gym
nasium is n thing, games are usually
in character and effect something very
different. They do not always injure
seriously the participants, and this is
the most that can be saiu for them.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
Description of Irkutsk.

Harry de Windt, the explorer, writes
thus of Irkutsk, which is called the
Paris of Siberia: at is an unfinished.
slipshod city, a strange mixture of
squalor and grandeur, with tortuous,
ill-paved streets, where the wayfarer
looks instinctively for the 'no-thor-
oughfare' board. There is one long
struggling main street, with fairly
good shops and buildings, but beyond
this Irkutsk remains much the same
dull, dreary-looking place that | re-
member in the early '90s, before the
railway had aroused the town from
its slumber of centuries. Even now
the place is absolutely primitive and
uncivilized, from a European point of
view, and the yellow Chinese and
beady-eyed Tartars who throng the
business quarters are quite in keeping
with the oriental filth around, I'M
redeemed by the usual eastern color
and romance. On fine mornings the
market place presents a curious and
interesting appearance, for here you
may see the celestial in fiowery silk
elbowing the fur-clad Yakute and
Bokhara shaking hands with Japan"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
MILLIONAIRE'S SYMPATHY.
Was Expressed for an Old Friend In
a Manner Surprising and
Substantial.

"a mar whom I knew we'll, one who
had ono been a very prosperous
business man in st. Louis, but who had
met reverses, walked into the office of
one of our western m44lonaires and
asked for the loan of five dollars" said
ex-Congressman Charles F. Joy, Of
Missouri, recently, relates the Wash
ington Post.
1.-THE man seeking the favor had been
a close friend of the millionaire before
he had become immensely rich. The
unfortunate one went to the other in
fear and trembling, dreading to be
turned down, for he knew that the
news of his taking to drink had reached
the ears of his old-time friend.
HE was greeted very cordially, how
ever, and plucked up heart to ask for
the money. Immediately the million
aires demeanor changed. No. said he,
4 can't let you have five dollars
81 hardly expected you would re-
piled the supplicant, but thought that
maybe for u former friendship you
might do me that little favor. How
ever, it does not matter. When a INNS
luck deserts him he can get no as
sistance from any quarter and with
an air of absolute detection he turned
to leave the Office.
"'No, l won't give you what you want
ed, but wait here a few minutes and
the millionaire went into his private
DON and held a brief consultation
with n of his employees. In a quar-
ter of an hour the clerk returned
and held out a big, fat envelope to the
miserable being. The latter, hardly
realizing that anyone should send him
a communication, broke the cover, and
inside found five brand-new $1O0 bills
and a railway ticket to st. Louis, with
berth or parlor car. On seeing these,
and realizing that the man whom he
supposed would not let him have five
dollars had been his %benefactor, the
recipient Of this unexpected generosity
broke down and cried like a child.
"There is not much more to say tc
the story, except that with the money
the man went to his old home and
started up in a small business out of
which he derives a comfortable living.
The moral, If there be one, is that mil
~lionaires are often as sympathetic as
ordinary mortals. This particular one
l know to be the possessor of a big
heart, and yet he has the best reasons
for never talking about his acts o:
charity"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
Carving Water I'm Sieve.

John Diedrich Spreckels, the son Of
Claus Spreckels, is the proprietor of a
San Francisco newspaper. To an edi-
tor n day Mr.. Spreckels was talking
about persistence and in the curse of
his remarks he said: "My father is a
great believer in persistence-in pa.
thence. Once when | was a boy I aban.
doned in despair some childish task
that I had undertaken and my father
%reproved me for it. Persistence will
do anything he said. There's nothing
you can't accomplish with patience
And then he smiled slightly and
added: You could even carry water
in a sieve if you would have the pa.
thence to wait long enough How
long would I have to wait? l said.
Till it froze,' my father answered"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
HE KNEW HOW TO FIGHT.
Father Gives His Son Some Pointers,
But Finds the Boy Is Not So
Very Green.

$50 you've had a fight, have you?"
said his father.
The boy was so badly out of breath
that it was a minute or two before he
could get wind enough to say: Yep"
and somehow the old man didn't seem
to regard the breathlessness as a partic.
ularly suspicious omen, relates the New
York Tribune.
Didn't you lick him." he asked.
Nope" replied the boy.
II guess you didn't follow your poo.
old fathers advice" said the old man.
81 suppose you thought you knew more
about it than he ever had a chance to
learn, and went at the other fellow with
some new-fangled uppercuts or swings
or something Of that sort and let him
get in under your guard while you were
figuring out the scientific points of some
new blow. Science is all right, | sup
pose, in a fight by rounds, where there
have been all the usual preliminaries.
but I've seen the time when a scientific
fighter would get the tar licked out OF
hlIh VIII hC was SClLluS liz oSlCLiCc
ready for use. Now, when l was a boy
and saw there was a fight coming on !
aimed to get in the first blow"
That's my way" said the boy.
ut is, eh?" returned the old man.
well, l don't see how a boy can gel
licked if he goes in On that system, In
less he's too easy with the first blow.
| tell you, when l was a boy" and the
old man began to get excited, my aim
was to swipe him first and swipe him
hard. I'd just land him one the
eye or under the chin and it would be
all over. You see, when you paste a
fellow in the ear you want to paste him
a hot one, and then"
"And then suppose he lands on a
brick pile" interrupted the boy.
"W-what?" asked the old man, rath.
er startled.
Suppose he lands on a brick pile
when you hit him and gets up with a hall
a brick in each hand, what's the next
move in the system that never failed
when you were a boy?"
my boy" said the old man, severely.
after a minute of thoughtful considera-
ton of the subject, lighting is a bad
business at best, and I am surprised that
you should expect your father to give
you advice that would be sure to lead
you into trouble, and very likely would
tend toward the cultivation of a bois.
ferrous, quarrelsome disposition. Now
run out and play, and don't bother me
any more"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
Cheese for Rabbit.

The trouble-making powers of a
Welsh rabbit are not always limited
to the physical being, as one young
man now realizes. This particular
young man, country bred, recently be-
gan his city life as a grocery clerk.
The very first week a woman custom
er hurriedly demanded: Some cheese
for a rabbit, please" The young mar
did not stop to think whether rabbits
enjoyed cheese-the customers tone
was too imperative for hesitation-so
he put up what he supposed her pet
would like. An hour later a crest
fallen clerk listened to the head gro
GERS lecture on the foolishness OF
giving a valuable customer a bag full
of cheese rinds and scraps. Now he
knows what sort Of cheese the "rab-
bit" takes.-N. Y. Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
LAKES OF PURE NAPHTHA.
BOundless Reservoirs of the Mineral
Fuel Exist in the Eastern
Part of Asia.

The chief source of the worlds sup
ply of naphtha promises to be shifted
to the eastern part of Asia, which has
been found to be one of the richest
mineral fuel regions in the world, ac-
cording to a recent consular report. The
area of all the paying coal layers in Eu-
rope comprises only 22,760 square
miles, an area equal to that of n OF
the Russian provinces-the Kazan prov
ince. The area of coal layers in east
ern Asia, though not yet estimated, is
considered ~incalculable.
Besides immense coal beds eastern
Asia possesses wealthy underground
naphtha lakes that will soon be the
the springs are found everywhere in
China, in Manchuria, in the Usseri dis
trict in Japan, and on the Sakhalin is
land. The latter island not only pos
sesses very rich coal mines, but also
large naphtha lakes.
The chemical engineer, X. S. Platoon
off, after having examined the coal
beds and naphtha wells in Texas and
Pennsylvania, made an investigation
of the naphtha springs on Sakhalin is
land, and on his return to Baku de-
clared that all he had seen in the
United States was nothing in compar-
ison to what he found on Sakhalin.
The naphtha springs near the River
Nootovo, on Sakhalin, excel those of
Baku in every regard. Seven under
ground naphtha lakes are there, the
area of the largest one being $4,000
square meters (75,320 square wards)
Notwithstanding the increased out
put of the Japanese naphtha industry,
Japan must still import foreign naph-
tina. In 1900 she imported more than
60,000,0 900 gallons, and in 1901 more
than 6 l 1000, 900 gallons. The export
from Japan is inconsiderable, so that
the Japanese naphtha does not threaten
to become a rival to Sakhalin naphtha.
On the contrary, Japan promises to
become a good market for the Sakhalin
naphtha.
The development of the oil industry
on Sakhalin island will help the river
navigation on the Amur and in the far
east generally.
The ministry Of agriculture and i'm
perial properties has ordered that the
33-mile line along the southeastern
coast of Lake Baikal be acknowledged
as actual naphtha-producing land. 1t
extends from Kultchuoy to the mouth
of River Chermushan ga degrees north
latitude), to the north from Svyatoy
Moss.
A party of five Englishmen arrived
recently on Sakhalin to examine the
coal oil regions lately discovered on
the eastern coast of the island. Among
the party there is one geologist and one
engineer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
wisdom of Experience.

Tommy" said his father, Il was
surprised to hear that you had dared
to dispute your mother"
"But she was wrong, father" replied
Tommy.
"That has nothing to do with it, my
son. continued the old man. II am
considerably older than you, and I'm
right here to tell you that when a WON
an says a things so, it is so, whether
It is SO or ot-"-Clncinnati Enquirer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
Love Powders Still Potent.

One of the Iowa Indians, according
to an Oklahoma paper, is making Q
good living by selling so-called love
powders. Little, peculiar shells found
in the creeks and the root of a GER
tain kind of morning glories furnish
the sole ingredients Of the love-com.
pelling powder. The shells and roots
are dried and guond to powder; then
after making a sort Of paste of the
mixture the lovesick swain or squaw
smears it over his or her face; then
the love powder painted person goes
close to the one whose affection is to
be captured. 1t is claimed that the
besmeared person is always victorious.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
Misplaced Conf dence.

"All l need is a fair chance" said the
genteel beggar. give got plenty Of CON
fidence in myself if l could only get a
start" .
you've got an unusual amount OF
confidence in yourself If you think you
can persuade me to give you a start
said the hard-beaded man.-PhiladeI
phia Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
Not Cheap,

Fastening to the assistance of the mar
who had been run yer by the auto, we
find him raised up and staring after the
machine.
"Well," he whispers, hoarsely sinking
back again, "take me to the hospital. l
am satisfied"
would you recognize the villain if you
saw him AGAIN." we asked.
"Who? The mar running it? don't
know; but that is one of the newest mod
els, and it didn't cost a cent less than
$4,000. I'd hate to be killed by a cheap
machine. Cincinnati Times-Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
A BALLAD.

The Plaintiff was a homely Maid
OF forty years, or more.
A trolley car, it ran her down,
n she, of course, was sore.
Inc lawyer was a cunning chal
Who liked contingent fees
He naturally advised the Maid
To nurse her injuries.
The damages the Plaintiff claimed
Were modest as could be:
She asked for fifty thousand pounds
Because she hoped for three.
The experts were disint'rested,
So six they swore that she
Would die within a month or two,
Six swore the %contraree.
The jurors, homes men and true,
They thought and thought and thought;
And then For Plaintiff fifty thou
sand pounds the verdict brought.
The jurors, tender-hearted men,
Before they sought their bed,
Each one, he nobly went and asked
The plaintiff him to wed.
Alas! Alack! Alack-a-day!
Twas ever thus in life!
They found the Plaintiff-Maid no more,
She was the lawyers wifei
IN. Y. Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
Sand Hills in Formation,

In India the town of Karachi and its
suburb of Clifton, two or three miles
distant, are ~curiously threatened with
separation by the growth of sand hills.
Mr.. R. D. Oldham traces the growth Of
these dunes from small oval patches of
sand on the stony surface, and shows that
even a slight deposit may gradually de-
fleet the air currents and produce a
calm space and an eddy of slowly in
creasing size, with steady enlargement
of the sand accumulation. Planting ma
tive grasses is among the remedies to be
tried.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28

Tobacco is both cultivated and con-
sumed on a large scale in Japan. The
plant was introduced by the Portuguese
in the seventeenth century, and the
trade in it is a government monopoly.
Tobacco is almost universally used in a
small pipe. While cigarettes are manu-
featured in large quantities, they are
nearly all sent out Of the country.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1904-01-28
why Didn't He.

"Are your shoes sure enough too tigh,
for you, Mr.. Closefist?"
Indeed they are Johnny, I must get
me a larger pair"
But why don't you just make yourself
fit emf"
why, what an idea! How could | do
that?"
Il don't know, but sister says you can
be mighty small when you feel like it. -
Houston Post.