The Red Cloud chief., 1904-01-29
AtChlson Globe SHIFTS.

AtchIson Globe Slshts.
About the on'y thing a man will al
low his wife to have a monopoly of is
patience.
II is terrible management; the short
est day of the year comes just before
Christmas.
Don't say a man Is shiftless: Be po-
lite, and say that he is too contented
to eve get rich.
A man may not be able to man.
age his own affairs, but he will give
you advice about yours.
What has become of the hand gren-
ade that a few years ago was going to
prevent confiagrationse
AZ a oma grows older her eye
brows begin to come out, and a mans
grow thicker and bushier.
After all it's pretty nice to watch a
woman get her Christmas presents
ready and send them away.
Hint to husband: The only way to
compliment a woman on her economy,
is to pay her bills wi bout grumbling.
Speaking Of borrowing, an Atchison
woman lends her n.ighbors such
poor butter that they return it in ten
minutes.
What has become of the old fashion
ed family that owned a buggy? We
are all mixed up with traps, r~ockaways,
landaus and broughams.
We don't believe there is anything
more pitiful than the hope Of better
times, better health and improved con-
dions "when spring comes"
II you must 60 visiting, don't 60 to
Chicago. The people there are so
nervous that II anyone steps on q
match and it ignites, It causes q panic.
A real old fashioned woman lives in
Atchison. She recently wa asked for
her recipe for nut cake, and refused It;
the recipe had "been In her family" for
years, and they had made it q rule
never to part with It.
An Atchison man lately whipped his
mother in-lsw, and there Is talk that
he is to be given q testimonial. The
movement should be stopped; Topeka
will get hold Of the incident, and make
another roar about Atchison.
The neighbors are SO anxious to do
something when there Is a death that
IL the bereaved family are not also be-
reft of their senses they can get the
whole house cleaned for nothing, in
the preparation for the funeral.
It is q late custom to make the en-
gagement short Three weeks is a long
enough, according to some authori-
ties There seems to be q disposition
to make the agony a. short a possible,
the same reason prompting a bereft
family to shorten the time there Is q
corpse in the house.
An Atchison woman dressed for q
dinner recently and wore q dress she
had not had on in two years. It re.
quired the united efforts Of her hus
land, two sisters and a servant girl to
make the dress meet before 1t could
be fastened. But she went out to the
dinner and ate a big one. Where did
she put it?
This Indiana story was contained il
a special dispatch from trankl,n, ina.
t. the New York World. 1t was a.
follows: "a mild sensation was caused
here yesterday when a prominen'
young married couple issued cards an
nouncing that the stork would sool
pay a visit to their household It ha'
since been learned the young womel
of the society to which the young wifi
belonged while in college gave an enter
tainment a few days ago for the bene
fit of the stork's cargo whatever tina
might be. The announcement ha
been much discussed In dOmesti
circles, and 1t has been general
agreed 1t is not such a bad practices
after all"
49,