davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15
ffr. Davis in Business.

Walter Crowder Of West Virginia
tells a number Of good stories about
the busines sagscity Of ex-senator
Henry G. Davis, the Democratic vice
presidential candidate, says the Kansas
City Journal. Here is one;
About thirty years ago he wanted
TO buy some coal lands without letting
the owner know he wanted them. The
owner wanted to sell without letting
Davis know he wanted to. II took
the two a long time to get together,
90 excessively cautious were they.
Finally, however, they met and came
abruptly to the scratch.
"How much p asked Davis.
"a cool million and not a cent
less, the other replied.
"'Giye you $l5O,OOO,' said Davis,
and not a cent more.
"In less than two hours Davis got
the property for 100000 and made a
splendid bargain. After everything
was settled and the money paid over
Davis said
"'Why did you ask me 81, 900, 900
for that land2 The seller replied
"'Becsuse I thought you'd be fool
enough to give it. Why didyou offer
me $l5o,0Oo7'
"'Because | thought you'd be fool
enough to take it. They laughed,
winked, shook hands and have been
oIoss fr;spds aver aimee
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15

"What have you been doing all
day, dearest ?" said his wife on his re-
turn home.
Working like dog"
At that moment the family pet got
up from the sofa pillow on which be
had been sleeping behind the stove,
stretched from his long afternoon nap,
whined at the door to be let out, and
after hi, request was granted, stood
in the yard for an hour or two and
barked at the moon.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15
THE BEGGAR.

A beggar died last night; his soul
Went up TO heaven: he said:
II come unasked; forgive IT, Lord
died for want Of bread
Then said the Lord God out Of Heaven,
son. how can this thing be-
Are no, My saints on earth'-and they
Did surely comfort thee?"
Thy saints. o Lord!" the bsggar cried.
Lead holy lives Of prayer.
How can they know Of such as We
We perish unaware
Then said the Lord God out Of Heaven.
In wrath and angry pain:
go men for whom Ny Son has died.
Ny Son hath died in vain"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15
The Stomach 10 the Man.

A weak stomach weakenI the man,
because il cannot transform the food he
eats into nourishment. Health and
strength cannot be restored to any sick
man or week woman without first res
toring health and strength to the stom-
ach. A weak stomach cannot digest
enough food to feed the tissues and re-
vive the tired aud run down limbs and
organs Of the body. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure digests what you eat, cleanses and
strengthens the glands and mt N mbranes
Of the stomach, and cures indigestion,
dyspepsia and all stomach troubles.
Sold by Reinhart's Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15
In Prsise Of ChsmberIsIn's Colo, Ohol-
era snd Olarrhoea Remedy

"Allow me to give you few words in
praise Of Cham berlain's Collie, Cholera
and Disrrhoea kennedy, says Mr. John
Hamlet, OF Eagle Pass, Texas. 81 SUI.
fered one week with bowel trouble and
took all kinds Of medicine without get
ting any relief, when my friend, Mr.. c.
johnson. q merchant here. advised me
"a take this remedy. After taking one
dose felt greatly relieved and when /
had taken the third dose wss entirely
cured. | thank you from the bottom OF
my heart for putting this great remedy
in the hands Of mankind" For sale by
Reinhart's Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15
What's in Q Name .

Everything is In the name when II
comes 10 Witch Hazel Salye. +. Z. De-
Witt & Go. OF Chicago, discovered some
years ago how 20 make q salSe from
Witch Hazel that Is a specific for Piles.
For blind. bleeding. itching and pro-
truding Piles, eczema, cuts, burns,
bruises and all skin diseases, DeWitt's
Salve has no equal This has given rise
70 numerous worthless counterfeits.
Ask for DeWitt's-the genuine. Sold
al Reinhart's Pharmacy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15
What 10 Life 2

In the last analysis nobody knows.
but We do know that II is under strict
Law. Abuse that Law even slightly, pain
results. Irregular living means de-
rangement Oi the organs. resulting 10
Constipztion, Headache or Liver trou-
bic. Dr. Kings New Life Pills quick
ly re-adjust this It's gentle, yet thor.
ough. Only 25c at Reinhart's Phar-
macy.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15

Mamma-Georgie, where is the 5
cents / gave you TO put in the contri-
button box for the heather?
Georgie-Tm saving it for Aunt
Hetty when she comes.
why"
Georgie-'Causs l heard papa say,
"Is the old heather coming here
again1"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15

Laugh, and you cheat the doctors.
Weep, and they'll coon cheat you.
Complain of your Ills. and you'll find
that the bills viii shortly begin to ac-
crus. Envelop your being with sun.
shine, with scsds of health you'll be
blest; but grieve and nope, you will
soon take dope, and the doctors will
do the rest.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15

Mamma" queried little Florence,
should cay pants or trousers ?"
Trousers, my dear" replied her
mother.
"Then," said Florence, 81 must give
Fido some water, for he trousers just
swfully."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15

Have you stwo-csnt stamPf' ask
ed the lady in the drug store.
mo, ms'sm," replied the clerk
"but We have something just as good.
Here are two one-cent stsmps.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15

The sage-Wonder why soms wom-
en- would rather kiss a dog than
dude?
The Cynic-The dog doesn't run
out and bark about il.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15

Bread may be the staff of life, but
many Of us subsist Oh pay rolls.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-09-15
HardWa-e &c Department.

Bar Iron Nails, Horse Shoes, Large
Iron Wash Kettles, Brass, Copper
and Porcelain Kettles, Skillets,
Waffle Irons, Trace, Butt, Cow and
Halter Chains, Farm Bells, Screen
Doors and Windows, American
Fence Wire, Barbed Wire, Saws,
Black Hawk Corn Shelters, Lawn
Mowers, Files, All Sizes Bolts,
Loaded Shells Powder and Shot.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
Hopeless.

The newly married man looked at
the old bachelor and there was a
sadness in his eyes.
George" he said, "you are living
a wasted life. You are all wrong,
old fellow. But it isn't too late;
some woman may yet be found who
will love you and be willing to take
your name. BY Jove, old boy, come
home with me tonight and I'll in
troduce you to the sweetest young
woman you ever met. She's my
wife's sister, the dearest and gen
tlest girl. Why, they still call her
by the pet name of her babyhood,
Lamb"
The old bachelor moistened his
lips and his eyes frightened.
II like lamb" he said, more espe-
cially with mint sauce"
And then the newly married man
knew it was useless to waste any
further words on the confirmed old
celibate.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
The Impossible Proofreader.

Former Employee-And what's
become of old Ballemup, who used
to be working in the proofroom?
Editor (sadly)-Gone. Hated to
part with him too. But the pres
sure became uncomfortable. Although
he made me say that old Mummy
baggs, who died, had ''by industry
and frugality accumulated lone
some future," when | wrote it
handsome fortune" l forgave him
and let him stay on But when he
had me say in a society item that
Miss Fitznoodle's couture "was
frightful by reason of the awful
arrangement of her soft brains" in
stead of delightful by reason of the
careful arrangement of her soft
braids," the pressure brought to
bear byinfuential citizens was some
thing | could no longer withstand.
Baltimore American.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24

whenever she came to difficulty in
the choice of a word she made no at
tempt to surmount it by any effort of
the easy current Of her native tongue.
Translated. her discourse ran thus:
'"These good men have made it per-
fectly plain; for, as they say-and who
shall question the dictum Of the church
in such matters-you have two con-
sciences, the conscience Of the prince
and the conscience Of the man; and
where the consciences come into con-
hict that Of the prince must Of necessity
rule. as is the axiom in all civilized
courts. Is it right that you. king.
should jeopardize yourself in useless
effort to save one condemned by his
peers. because your private conscience
as a man urges you to keep promise
which he himself has relieved you
from, holding you guiitless before God
and the nations, and further advised
by these good men, lords of their
church. tnat such action would not
make toward peace Of the realm. 1t
is not subject to be hesitated upon
for moment. the good Of the ruler
being paramount always
ooh. my lord, the king. listen not to
such sophistry. be it from the lips Of
priest or woman! The given word is
the man. and he stands or falls by it.
II the foresworn peasant be cring-
ing craven, ten thousand times worse
is the perjured prince You pledged
your faith to Lord STAFFORD. and now
in his just heaven God demands the
fulfllment Of your word"
The disheveled girl had flung herself
at the feet Of the frightened monarch.
who started back. gazing wildly about
him. shaking as one struck with palsy,
SO startling and unexpected had been
the Interruption. Red anger flushed
the face Of the no less amazed queen.
speechless with indignation at the
words and the tone Of them addressed
to her exalted, husband. The sage
bishops were astounded at the lack Of
diplomacy on the paEt OF the petition
err who had thus rudely thrown herself
counter to the expressed wishes of the
highest lady in the land, but Frances.
with an instant intuition more subtle
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
"FLAT AS A FOUNDER"
Something of the Life History OF an IN
terestns and Curious Fish.

Something of the Life History OF an IN
terestins and Curious Fish.
The expression ''As flat as a f1oun-
der" has become proverbial, but II
does not apply to very young tioun-
ders, which differ so much from the
adult ones that they can hardly be
recognized as belonging to the same
family as their parents.
The founders begin life as DO or
binary fishes. When they first
emerge from the egg they swim YER
ticaIly, with the head turned up
ward. Their bodies are symlnetrlcaL
and their ewes are on opposite sides
of the head. Gradually the position
of the body changes from vertical to
horizontal. and the fish remain thus,
for some time, swimming like ordl-
nary fishes. But while still very
small there is foreshadowing of the
bottom life they are destined for,
and they enter upon series Of re-
markable changes. The most jstrlk-
ing of these changes is in the posi-
ton of the eye. The eye of one side
or the other slowly but steadily
moves over to the opposite side Of
the head and takes a place beside the
other eve. In some founders the
eve moves around the front Of the
head; in others it moves directly
through the head. This shifting of :
the eyes position is accompanied by
a change in the position Of the body,
which ceases to be upright and be-
comes more and more oblique. The
side of the body from which the eye
is moving gradually becomes infe-
rior to the other until by the time
the change of the eve is complete
the fish swims with its blind side
underneath, and this position is
ever after maintained. The founder
then ceases it's free swimming habit
and sinks to the bottom.
Some species of founders are
right sided, and others are left
sided. In the right sided forms the
left eye moves. to the right side and
the left side becomes undermost. In
the left sided species the opposite
conditions prevail. 1t rarely hap
pens that right sided species have
left sided individuals, and vice YER
So. In few species both right sided
and left sided fish occur in about
equal numbers.-St. Nicholas.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
mo. NOw GASPED CHARLES

fall. Rise, my girl! You have my
promise-the promise Of Stuart-and
it shall be fulfilled"
to her feet with the same courtesy he
would have shown to the first lady of
the court.
The rage Of the queen now passed
all bounds of restraint
'And this before me, your wife! You
ture Of the streets above that Of the
royal house of France and queen of
this turbulent realm. You deserve to
be hOoted by your loathsome mob. Who
is this woman?''
De Courcy whispered a word into her
ear.
"What: The daughter Of that profit
gate Stranford! To what a pass this
Christian court has come"
"'Tts true, it's true" murmured
Charles. visibly quailing before the
increasing wrath Of his wife, adding in
pite0us appeal, "Have not enough to
bear without the quarreling Of wo-
men?' souri,
:sThe quarre1ing Of women! Dare
you couple me in the same breath
with such as she? Is there none in
my train to whip forth this impudent
wench into the wretched rabble that
has cast her into our presence. The
quarreling of women! A slattern that
wishes to divert, from her reputed ia
theirs head to yours. the anger Of the
gutter. Listen to it. my lord. Listen
to it."
All this was shrieked forth with ges~
lures so rapid and amazing that the
eye could scarce follow the motion of
her hands. Now she few to the win
dow and fumbled with it's fastening,
too greatly excited to succeed with the
opening. Several Of the French gal
lants stumbled over each other in their
haste to aid her, but the iady's i'm
patience could not wait for them. She
lifted her clinched band and sfnote the
diamond panes. which went shivering
down beneath the fierce impact Of the
blow. Glass or lead or both cut the
imperious hand and wrist, and the
blood trickled down the fair rounded
arm. The breach she made was like
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24

than theirs. -" ,.een was
an enemy not to be caicled by defer
ence or fattery. so she determined that
the war between them should be open
and aboveboard
The king had reason for agitation
greater than the surprise that had
made eathing statues of those about
him. The accents that disturbed him
were the accents Of STAFFORD himself,
softened as they were by the lips that
uttered them The boldness Of the ad-
dress was Stra ffoSd's, and until he saw
that woman knelt before him it al
most seemed thai the dominant spirit
Of the prisoner had burst the bonds of
the Tower and sped hither to reproach
him for meditated treachery.
Frances. gathering breath. took adj
vantage Of the silence her sudden ad-
vent had caused.
"Why is Lord STAFFORD in dungeon
today? Because. trusting your word.
he obeyed your command at Hampton.
Why was he put on trial? Because
faithfully he carried out his kings be-
hests. Why was he condemned to
death? Because he stood true to the
king. II he deserve death, then so do
you, for you are the master and he the.
servant. Has God stricken you and
your counselors with blindness that
you cannot see in the destruction, of
STAFFORD. : the throwing away of the
shield which guards your breast, leav-
ing you naked to your enemies? Sur
render bastion. and the castle falls"
"Heavensy' cried the quivering
queen. What country Of, the mad is
this, where the meanest of subjects
may so address monarch! Strip the
mantle from her back and scourge her
rebellious flesh to the kennel whence
she comes" =. 49,.
mo, nor gasped Charles, staggering
to his feet and sweeping with a gesture
of his hand the documents which lay
before him on the table, so that they
futtered to the floor "She speaks the
truth; happy is the prince who hears
it and heeds it. I have passed my
word to STAFFORD. and it shall be kept.
| will not sign-no, though the heavens
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
His Mistake.

A parrot in a country district es-
capped from its cage and settled on
the roof'of labofer's cottage The
laborer had never seen such thing
before and climbed up with view
of securing it. When his head
reached the level of the top of the
roof, the parrot tapped wing at
him and said, what dye want ?"
Very much taken back, the labor
er politely touched his cap and re-
piled:
Il beg your pardon, sir, I thought
you were bird!"
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
Her Relations.

We note that the handsome Young
woman wears many military but
tons. badges and other mementos
Are you the daughter of the reg
imenf 2" we ask.
'Oh. no, sir" responds the gentle
thing; but | have promised to be
a sister to all the officers y
AT this Jancture we might have
made witty remark about a call to
arms and the penalty for disregard
ing It, but because of her bushes.
we refrained.- Judge.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24

this was scarcely propitious moment
In which to implOre the king to disre-
gard the lusty giant rudely beating at
his doors. A frightened waiting maid
game hurrying along the corridor, and
to her she directed inquiry regarding
the entrance to the banqueting hall.
''Turn to the right and up the stair"
"Take me there, beg of you"
"I cannot. | bear message"
"But | bear a message to the king.
80 yours must wait"
At this the maid turned and conduct
ed her to the door of the hall, saying
to the man at arms:
"This lady has a message for his
majesty"
tering the great painted chamber was
that the nobleman on the stone outside
had not spoken the truth when he said
the king heard the demands of his peo-
pie. A growl as Of an angry lion pen
etrated the closed windows, but the
words spoken were not to be distin-
guished.
The king was sitting at a massive
table, his bead in his hands. Behind
him were grouped number of bishops
in their robes, and 1t certainly seemed
that his majesty was engaged in de-
votional exercises. as had been stated
by the orator. But If this were the
case they were. of strangely mixed
order for behind the lady who was
talking volubly to the king stood two
Capuchin monks with folded arms. Elk
cepting the bishops none of the Eng
lish nobility were present, but several
Frenchmen. among whom she recog-
nized. De Courcy, held aloof from the
cluster at the table, 50 the girl quite
correctly surmised that the lady bear
ing the whole burden of the >conversa-
ton was no other than the queen, her
self, and that these foreigners were
members Of her train.
D Her majesty spoke sometimes in
French. sometimes in English, the lat
ter with broken accent, and her elo-
quence was rather puzzling to follow,
for the flow of her conversation was
of extreme rapidity. Palpably she sup
posed herself talking in English, but
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24

the letting in Of waters. the roar out
side became instantly articulate and
waves Of meaning flooded the great
apartment.
ITO the block with STAFFORD. Death
to the peoples oppressor!' was the cry,
and the tortured king shrank from it
as from the lash Of a whip.
''Hearken to the wolves shrieked
the queen. 1T is your blood or Straf-
ford's! Which. which. which,"
Then, perhaps because Of the hurt
which she scarcely seemed to feel, her
mood changed as quickly as her anger
had risen, and she melted into tears.
glided to her husband and threw her
arms about his neck.
"Oh. Charles. Charles" she moaned.
1T is ny love for you that would
coerce you. You have not been to
blame, misled by an obstinate minister
who would sacrifice an indulgent mas
ter to buy his own safety. king Is
not to be bound as other men. The
claim Of your wife and children rises
superior to that Of any subject. for you
have sworn to protect them"
Charles stood by the wall which was
eight years later to be broken for his
own final exit, his eyes filled with
tears, caressing the woman who chung
to his breast. He saw that the girl
was about to address him again and
said hastily: &c.,.
go. go! You but pile distraction on
distraction. Fear not; for the word Of
king. goes with, you" a..
mo. no!' Isobbed the queen. "FOr
my sake withdraw it," 49,. -,
Two of the bishops now stepped for
ward and with gentle urgency used
their persuasion on the girl to with
draw. GOD keep your majesty firm"
she cried. land so deal with you'as you
deal with my father"
= But the last sight she was to have
of her ruler. as the good men pushed
her to the door. was far from inspiring.
His cheeks We're womanishly wet, and
wavering irresolution was stamped up
on his brow. The twining wounded
arm Of his wife had Redeemed the
white scarf 1T his throat with the roy
IL. passionate blood of France.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
(TO BE Continued
SOLVED THE PROBLEM.
How the Skipper Named His Boat and
Observed the Proprieties.

There is something singularly
captivating to the imagination in
the names of many of the old time
sailing vessels, coastwise and ocean
going, which once spread their
white wings so pIentifullv against
the blue skies and bright waters of
the New England hartors.
Who can help at the mere sound
of such names as the Lively Jane,
the Lovely Peggy, the Laughing
Lucy, the Modest Ann, the Constant
Mary, the Three Fair Sisters, Great
ing mental picture of the sailors
sweethearts so honorcd in all the
flower and freshness of their forgot
ten charms: Many indeed are the
suggestions for the romancer hid
den away in the brief compass Of old
shipping lists preserved here and
there in faded and tattered newspa-
pers. Sometimes, too, one catches
elsewhere an echo of their name and
fame.
In one old New England seaport
there was few years ago an aged
seaman whose favorite tune among
the many chanteys he was in the
habit of humming as he went about
the domestic chores of his tiny, soil
tary house was a scrap of refrain set
to a taking air, all he could remem-
Der of once popular sea song in
honor of some fair unknown:
Hey, the charming Sally o!
Boston bound who'd daily O?
Sally O. the foam to my Sally safe at
home
Perhaps the most curious story of.
any vessel named for a sweetheart is
that pertaining to neither fishing
craft nor merchantmen, but to lit
tie skiff familiar in the long ago to
the waters of Narragansett bay. 1t
was owned by the good elder Of a
little shore village, who for fifty
years had persistently courted shy
maiden of the name of Rhoda Bak-
er. So shy was she that often when
he called she would not even see
him. He would find the sitting
room empty and the chair from
which she had fed at the very mo-
ment of her ''Come in" yet rocking
by the window.
At length 'Rhoda died, still
spinster, and her bereaped lover de- ]
sired to honor her memory by be-
slowing her name upon his boat.
But he encountered a difficulty.
Rhoda's permission could not be
asked, and since in life she had
never accepted him was it fair or
courteous to her to dispense with it?
He solved this problem of chivalry
and avoided the least shadow of pre-
by naming the vessel and
painting the name in conspicuous
black letters on the stern, Rhoda ,
.-Youth's Companion. !
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
Russian Losses at Da Pass.

st. Petersburg, Sept. 23y-During the
recent repulse of the Japanese attack
on Da pass General Peterhof took, sew.
eral prisoners and captured a guam.
tity of arms and ammunition. The
Russians lost captain and three men
killed and had forty-five men wounded.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
Judge Parker in New York CITY.

New York.. Sept. 2S.--7Judge Alton
B. Parker arrived in the city early in
the morning and went directly to the
Hoffman House. Senator German of
Maryland called at the hotel and re-
manned with Judge Parker for two
hours or more.
Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1904-09-24
Oper The
Border s
BARR
-
Frederick Co SSS.
CHAPTER VII.

- NEE out in the open air. Fran
II ces Wentworth came again
into control of herself. asham-
ed that for the moment her