davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-05-18
HEARD IN PASSING

The republic of Panama will soon
be geographically described as long
narrow body of water. bounde1 on
each side by the Monroe doctrine
Washington Star.
Attorney Stiles Judson attempted to
offer q bushel Of evidence in the shape
of letters yesterday In Judge Rora-
back's court. The Judge intimated
| that the court would prefer smaller
doses OF evidence. South NorwaiG
Sentinel.
The Dutch are lighting in Java, the
Russian and Japanese in Manchurla,
the Turks in Macetl"tlia tbs tfcrhIaIs
| in southwest Africa. the British In
Somaliland and the United States
boasts a civil war in Colorado, with a
national political campaign cAmihg on.
Who says the world Is. at peaceF-
| Baltimore American.
When a Troupe Of New Haven
! Brothers begin to Waller round III po-
/ litical conventions it is liable to Maher
| the proceedings and all feel like taking
to de Parker or DeForest lest it be re-
Hearst. At the present writing all re-
gret their short Cummings, though it
| is acknowledged that late events
Woodruff the feelings of the most pa
tent Benedict.-Exchange.
! According to one Of the high officials
of New York, fully one-third of the
men employed as street cleaners in
that city are suffering from tuberculo-
sis in an advanced stage. Further
more 1t is declared that no mar who
follows that occupation can live more
/ than Eve years. That is an extreme
statement, perhaps, but it helps to call
/ attention to the dangers to the public
health which Turk in the dust Of the
city streets. Cleveland Leader.
| Amid a terrible war OF words, and
while volume of statements AMI
ounter-statements is augmented every
day, the proprietors of the pool rooms
are carrying on their unlawful bust
mess free from all molestation. The
Western Union Telegraph Co has
made it evident that it does not in
tend to give up. it's pool room business
Commissioner McAdoo and District
| Attorney Jerome have succeeded in
putting the telegraph company in an
uncomfortable position, but they are
not closing any pool rooms. What is
the ultimate object OF this mighty
/ bother and fuss? is it to shut ZIP the
pool rooms? Or is 1t, on the part of
the district attorney and the police
commissioners. to get the Western I'm
lion ''in a hole and on the part of the
4 Western Union to maintain the status
quo while making fair-seeming offers
/ which ii knows will not be accepted 70
remove pool room wires New York
Times.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-05-18


At the township election in West
phalia, Inghau county, seventy votes
were cast for Edward Platte" for
highway commissioner, three for Eb-
hard Platte and six for Peter VAIL,
says the Detroit Tribune, Edward
Platte was elected. He was purely an
idea and not man and vet the prose
cutting attorney finds that under the
law he was elected The voters had
intended to cast their ballots for Eb-
hard Platte, who has an actual earthly
existence, but the legal authorities are
clear that the expression Of the ballot
rather than the intent OF the voter
must decide and that there Is no au.
thority to interpret the vote in any
other manner than as cast. The in,
tangible Edward having failed to ap-
pear and qualify it will be the duty OF
the township board to appoint high,
way commissioner. Great is the typo
graphical error.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-05-18
SOME BIG WORDS CALLED IN
An indignant Poet Who Possessed g
Copious Vocabulary.

An indignant Poet Who Possessed q
Copious Vocabulary.
The number of obsolete words that
are to be found in a complete diction-
airy of the English language is con-
siderably larger than the people have
any idea of. The following letter, writ
ten by an alleged poet to an editor who
had treated his poetry with derision,
furnishes some idea Of them:
"Sir:-You have behaved like an i'm
petiginous scrogle! Like those who,
envious OF any moral celsitude, carry
their unglicity to the height of Great
ing symposically the fecund words
aberit to abligate the tongues of the
weetlessg Sir, you have crassly paro-
died my own pet words, though they
were trangramsl
II will not coHsceryate reproaehes.
will oduce a veil over the atramental
ingratitude which has chamfered even
my indiseerptible heart. am silent
on the focillation which my coadjuvan-
cy must have given when offered to
become your fantor and adminicle.
will not speak OF the lippitude. the
Oblepsy you have shown In eyacerbat.
Ing me, one whose genius you should
have approached with mental discal.
ceation. So | tell you without super.
vacaneous words, nothing will render
ignoscible your conduct to me.
Il warn you that | would vellicate
your nose If thought that any moral
diarthrosis thereby could be performed
IF thought should not impignor,
ate my reputation. Go. photographic
scrogle, hand with your Grass inquin.
ate fantors! Draw OBLIGATIONS from,
the thought. II you can. Of having syn,
| ironically lost the existimation OF the
greatest poet since dilton.o
And yet all these words are to he
found In the dictionary It'd. Bits.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-05-18

10 the current North American Re.
view, Joseph Pulitzer. the founder AZ
the st Louis Post-Dispatch and the
New York World. makes an elaborate
and withal an able defense or the
school OF journalism recently estah.
hshed by him as department Of Co
lumbia college. In the main Mr. Pr.
litzer's contention is that as other pro.
fessions. such as law, medicine. the
ministry and the various scientific pur.
suits require special training In the
schools. SO Journalism, the most purely
public profession OF the day, should
have It's course OF instruction. It must
be confessed that most newspaper men
have had a sentiment little short OF
contempt for colleges of Journalism
and even of Journalists" To the men
actually engaged in the calling it has
seemed that the newspaper office itself
is the place to receive the training
requisite for It's duties. Whatever gen.
eral education is necessary can be Sc
cured from the regular public schools
and colleges. Mr. Pulitzer Is a news
paper man OF such recognized ability.
however. that his opinions are entitled
to a respectful hearing. But his adj
mission that he 'never had one single
lesson from anybody would indicate
that his own practical example OF the
way to make a good newspaper man is
not In entire conformity with his col.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-05-18
AWAKE NINE DAYS

Did you ever try to stay awake for
ty-eight hours2 You know then how
hard 1t is. How would you like to stay
awake nine days? A man over in New
Jersey did. He had hiccoughs. Three
hundred people wrote to him to tell
him how to stop them. stand on your
head" one letter said. Next Sundays
New York World tells all about this
remarkable case. There are twenty
other interesting features. some illus
trated in colors. some in black and
white Don't forget to order next Sun.
days New York World
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-05-18

The season is approaching when
the festive candidate will go about to
spiel and spout and harrow up the
state, says an exchange; will agi-
tate the atmosphere with fierce lin
guistic storm by clSurning it and burn
ing it with rhetoric that is warm;
will fay the opposition with fervor
most intense, lambasting 1t and past
ing it with massive eloquence; will
hold its faults and failings up in ter
rible array and give himself full lati-
tude with platform and with plati-
tude in telling of his attitude on ques-
tons of the day. The spellhinders
and orators will soon begin to prime
with campaign stuff on which to bluff
and make their stunts sublime: Will
load with ammunition not so deadly
as It's loud. with matter that will
scatter wide enough to hit the crowd,
and afterward upon the stump they
will the welkin pierce; will heat the
air and beat the air with gestures
that are fierce; will agitate the people
in the good old fashioned way, and to
their full capacity of logic and To-
quacity will show their perspicacity
on questions Of the day. Political
committees will appear upon the
scene. directing the collecting tina,
will start up the machine; the speech.
es from the records will be scattered
far and wide. the heelers ana the
spielers will get busy on the. side, pro
cessions win be organized and clubs
win be enrolled. the voters and the
noatera viii be rounded up<and polled
each side will claim the popuIace i,
headed straight It's way, while orator.
VIII fake them up statistics that will
shake them up and stories that viii
wake them up on questions Of the dav
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-05-18

We should think that Tom Waller of
New London and Dentist Brothers of
New Haven would make great COM
bination attraction for the Chautauqua
lecture circuit this summer.--H Hartford
Post.
Brothers ought to pull pretty well,
at any rate.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1904-08-25
Sas Gnoe oes .3opfes.

Der 3opf, Der iest pisber in bic
Saartra4t Der 5rauen aufgenommen
lit, bat in Der Saartra9t Der MGnner
Dpr nabe5u bunbert Sabren iein @nbe
erreift, na6bsm er 1713 BON 8Dnia
5risbrib Wilbelm 1. eineefiibrt mar.
Sn SeTensSafel aber purben na6
na4 1915 bic 3Dpfe amtlib anbefObz
len. 2onosraf Dilbelm IN. por
Sefens&afel, bur9 BEN Biener gous
greb uls &urfiirit reItaurirt, na9oem
er ben in Wien angeitrebten Sitel
rSOnig Der Gbatten" ni9t bate erlans
gen tOnnen, eritredte feline lanoespd>
terlide Siiriprge pornebmli9 auf bic
@iebereinfiibrung bes Copies. Die
san5e armee mubte pieoer 30pfe
tragen uno puber i'm Saar fiibren:
bic bier bpri9riftsmdbisen gepuberten
Papilloten unb getut9ite S9nurrbGrz
te, gang tpie i'm Siebenidbrigen 8riez
ge. 9a bic Saare Der SolOaten ie6r
oft ni4t lang 9enug paren, um bic
faIi6en 3Opfe baran gu befeitisen, 10
purbe anbefoblen, faGide 3Opfe an bic
uniformtra9en, aber teiuespegs an
bic Siite gu beften.
Dieter 9efebl mar bur9 einen feIts
Iamsn 9orfall sripirtt iporoen. Der
&urfiirit bemertte emit, als er aug
benz S9lpiIe tam unb bic Wa6e ni6t
i6nell ins 9epebr trat, eiren Diff
Sier nit Sfpei 30pfen. yDarum bat
man 5pei 3Dpfe?" bonnerte bic alte
SObeit. Der Sffi5isr bate nGmli4
ben ,Sut zines &amerdoen, an pelhenr
befen 3Opf befeitigt mar, ergriffeu.
uno barunter bins Der ieinigs al ben
eigenen Saaren. 0arauf erginq Der
seou9te 9efebl. I'm e6te uno i60ne:
3opfe gu er5eusen, ieBte Der &urfiirTt
eine prGmie aus fir cine ben Saarz
puds fOroernbe Sal6e. Sffisiere,
bic eate 3Opfe OOrSupeiIen Dernto9s
ten, erbielteu cine 3opf 9ratififaz
tiOn. Sn gang europa puroe Der
Surfiirit ipegen bieier 3npfmanie psr>
ipottst. Wion eraGblt in &aiTel, oaB
Elm @nsIdnoer, um bic 9lufmsrfIams
felt oes alten 2anbsrafen gu erreaen,
Dor benz S4lOfe @ilbsIms60be crit
nit sinem fat fdtnteIOiden 3opf, Der
bis an bic 3nieteble bsrabrei1te, unb
bann iogur nit bier, flint bis 6sinabe
5ur @rbe berGbreidenbsn 30pfen auf
uno niebsr ipa5isrte. Sm iibriaen
Oeutf4ldno butten bic RdpoIeoniT6en
unb bic Sefrsiunsstriess sriinbli6
nit alien 3Opfen aufs.rGumt. Wsr in
Berlin felt benz Serbit 1906 nod einsn
3Opf trug, tuurbe bon ben @aIIeniun.
gen duf Der StruBe sebdnTslt.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1904-08-25
Der SerlobunssriHs bsi Sea
i0ermauea.

Sn ieinen mittelalterlideu Culture
itubien bat YrofeHor Srpels 2uno in
aopenbasen iid au9 nit Der Ginfiib'
runs bes @erlObunsszings bel ben
ssrmaniiden 8DItern befdGftist. lrz
ipriirgli9 tdnnten bieie ibn nidt.
pislmebr purbe bic @srlpbung bur4
segenieitise @absn bs3ei9net; Der
Ring 1T fiibliden llriprun9s, unb ieiz
ne 8ernenbung als 8erlobungs5eis
den mar ben MittelmserpOltern ldnse
ppr Der driitliden 3sitre4nun9 be-
tdnnt. glber bds Gbriitentbunt
iibernabm nit mebreren fonitigen
@oltsiittsn aud bisIe; bic Stride ges
nebmigte nidt muir bic lleberrtidung
bes 8erlpbungsrings bur6 ben 9rGus
tigam on bic 8raut, Ionoern Der
papit berIieb unb perleibt oem 9ii9of
einen Ring, Der 8ose bon 8eneoig ers
TOR bur9 einen in bas Weer gepprfes
nen toitbaren gtins bic 9loria Sur
@erlpbten bes penstianiiden Staates
Ii. IN.
5ur bic @erlobun9 mittsls bes
Ginges bate bic tatbpliife Stride iebr
feierli6e 6ormen; Der Geiitlide fpIlte
ben Ring tpeiben, i'm betenb gen 9imz
mel erbebeu, nit Weibpaher beipris
BEN unb Sulebt i'm Numsn Der beiltgelt
9reisinigteit on ben Singer ieBen.
gtber Der 8rau9 sefiel unfanss ben
9ermanen ni9t, unb ie peiter na4
Rprben, beito ipeniger. Wtan betrabs
tste ben Ring als penig bebsutenoen
@riab fir bic bisberisen Srautsaben;
auberbem pdren als 3ei6en bes
SreugelobniHes Elm gemeiniam 9es
fhiirasc7 &nstsn unb sine 5erbro9ene
MiinSs sNtd, beren beibe Sdlften bic
8erlobten an iih nabmen. Die leB=
ters 5orm tonnte ia aud einen beIonz
beren ipmboliI9en Sinn beunipruz
den. 9luf bic 0auer Iab ii9 inbeb bic
Stride bel ibrem 9eitrebeR BON GrfpIg
getrDnt, uno ipenisitens Bel ben bobes
rem Stdnben mar gu 8sginn bes Rez
neutrality-suspicious. bic RinsperIOz
buns allgemeine Site; BON ben pbez
rem StGnben breitete ii9 bic Site
aud su ben 8iirsern unb 8uuern
aus. I'm ben Sdlub bes 1S. Sabrz
bunberts bate man ipgar bds ee$
reimte Spri9port: rSit Der Singer
beringt, lit bic 8raut bebingt."
8etbeilter Meinung mar man du9
iiber bic fir ben Ring beitimmte
Sanb. Die tatboIii6en dlteren Sirs
denpdter Spsen bic linte Sanb por,
neil man Spiiaen benz Ser5en unb
bieier Sanb eine birette gloernperbins
bung annabm; i'm 9egenIaB gu Der
beuti6en Site trGst man nod beute
bel ben 6ran5oien ben 8erlObuuss@
ring an Der redten, ben Srauring an
Der .inten Sanb.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1904-08-25
Ssoenflt@es @efdnsntbfraut.

Man bat ii9 Idon an allerbunb lie
berruI9ungen in bem Rriibmten CALI
farnifdsn gsfGnsniB San Quentin
sepDbnt; aber mas man neueroings
bort gefunben, bat bod un9epObnIis
DIES glufieben gemaat.
@s lit aud idOn in ionItigen Sc
fdn9niHen geIungen, ben SGftIin9en
perbotene 9eOuielunssitpffe 5u5us
i6musgeln, - aber bier bat Mlama
Ratur ieIbsr bufiir seiurgt! 0eun iie
bat in ben gtulasen Der Strafanitalt
elm &ruut tpa6Ien lafen, oas Ils
.Wdri9uana" betdnnt uno berii6tigt
iit. 3uOem 1T bier inbii9er Sanf
tGuflib = ooer mar es - befen &uf
10 ausgebrsitet iit! Mariguara fat in
Galifornien etnen ein6eimii6en 8ers
panbten, pel1er .Gattlepeeb" gss
nuunt pirO; bic pOrIisgenoe 9dttung
itammt ieopb aus Rerico unb 1T, gu
Gigaretten gemaht, nod i6limmer als
Opium! Oas Rau9en ruff bdlb cine
4rt .Sslirium Srsmens" berpor. Der
Samen oes beIugten Sanfes aber bils
bet, pulDsriiirt unb nit tparmem WaIs
fer periebt, Elm bGmOnii6ss geraus
I9ungsgetrGut fir bic StrGflin9e.
8isls oieier balten @0gsl, uno lie
tOnntsn bisber ulScit nit ibrem ielbIts
perbienten Gelhs ben Samen einfab
ais @ogeliumsn taufen. Damn ppaSug
iib aber grOBtentbeiIs cine sbsnIo uns
beimli9e Warbiuus nit ibm, pie nit
ben S6iffen bsr ruiiiiden 5rsipiuis
senfIotte, na4bsm ite sliidIi6 bur9
bic 0urounslenitrabe sefdIiipft ma
rem.
RatiirItd biirfen SieTs 9inge ni6t
lGnger seouloet rptrbsn, uno 10 ipurs
ben Oenn itrsnse SefebIe segen bic
beiben Srbuieiuugsitoffe srIaFen.
Mebrere perldbli6e inoidnii6e @efanz
gene ipurben oamit betraut, ieoe Maz
risuaud DurSel in ben @sfGnanibs
unlagen ausSugraber. S6's pp6l auf
bic 0auer bilft9
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1904-08-25

saB id faft, buB id sinen Taann in
Berlin babe"
Primer Siuer! er piirbe T4 ni4t
eefhmeitstt fiiblsn."
r8ennen sic meinen Mann2"
n8pm Sebsn. @ir treffen uns bin
uno tpieoer in ben 9eri6tsIGlen, I"
antipprtete id troden.
n46, Serr Martens, mas miiFen
Sic bon mir bsntsn! limb i6 liebe
@ouarb unb i6 = ib freue mid, i'm
enbIih in pontrefina tpisber su ieben.
limb id = ib = i9 gIaubte INNER,
Sic f6pGrmten fir SGte. 81. 1T Elm
10 Iiebes, sutes Mdbden, 10 unabz
hdngig, 10 gsiitpOa = iie Iagt, Te
piiroe niemaIs 6eirutben, niemals -
auber -
llnb tpieber bielt lie inne, unb bon
Neuem las i9 in ibren Id6nen 3iigen
bic pointe bieIes fleinen Romans, Der
I'm Regentpetter duf benz StilfIer Sod
begonnen.
DeI9' tomiIts @ernideluna! Sd,
Der f6urfblidenbs @bpctat, perliebt in
bic Srau anItatt ms MGb9en! unb
Bette = i'd mubte lie INNER nod
Bel bieIem gtamen nennsn - hate
ben SpuB erlaubt, unO i'd mar elm
Wann nit 9ebrodeHem SsrSeu - fir
minceitens iedsunbOreibig Stunbsn.
Surfte i'd bic 5ipei siuIamen Samen
alIein mad Pontrsiina lponSern laFen?
Sd begleitets iie. SiIIer fam einioe
Sage ipGter aud bortbin; ih blieb
bort; benn mir Ollie fanben, bab Berg
ercuriipnen itb lei9t.r in 9eIeai6aft
bon @ieren ais BON 0reien ausfii6r.n
laifen. llno tbutid9li9 lit 5rGulein
&Gte Mari6al Elm gar biibi6es anses
nebmes MGb6en unb iebt lpeniger uns
abbGngig als CUR 3eit, lpie ib gum ers
fen WlaI ibre 8etanntidaft madte.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1904-08-25
Cliff.


Bon SllIirs @ersoorf.
gtnit, = 10 begam in iiibcr 8eiIe
Gin W21rden, baS 10 germ er51bIt
Sic 0tutter oft lns ainocrn lciie,
&enn mir iie bittenb brum gequdlt.
Ginit. - adj. ba baben mir in N6then
YIN Wtuttcrbrllit bos 8aupt geidmicgt.
Gle bich ms artia iciu unb bctcu
uno bat uns lieb in SdIGf geruiegt.
Was Iieet III bicicm IdlIib!cu Iortel
Gin gauges 2eber ihlieBt es auf.
Ginit Sugcn uor Der Su9enb %torte
Sic fiibnitcn 9uftmun8eu berauf.
ginit rubete in ItiIIem Srieben,
Go ieIig, bingcgcben iparm.
Sas Saupt bes &anberer, bcs miiben,
@tit Boune in Der 2icbe Nrm.
ginit trieb's aud mddtig, notb8eOruns
gen,
Gen Rauu gu 2cbenstampf binurs,
or rlibte nidt, biz er crrllngeu
Gin ltebenb gSeib, Elm ei9cn Salis.
giuit. -ab Sas S6idiaI baipeIt ibuetle
Sen flirSen 2cbcnsfabcn ab,
@ilo raiiidlt oaber Der Scitcn 8cIle
uno nin1mt bann aIes in oas 9rdb.
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1904-08-25

- Did 9terididfaL. Sflni.=
renolrettOr (einem iungen S6yiftftsl=
Ter Oas ein9erei9te Stiid 3uriid1s.
bsno): ~SrDiten Sic iif,. inner
N'aHn; mir baben fOsar i6on stii4s
BON Saillsr, 9pstbe unb 2eFina a6s
etIebut." 'S
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1904-08-25

= Die Grften. .0u Gb.. Der
gtnbru4 1T entbedt!!" = .sSft bic gus
li5ei f4on ba9" = Rod ni6t. :. o6er
Elm puar iungs @srtbeibiaer!A
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-06-03
LABOR is RUNNING
COMMONWEAL tn

A resident of Australia, himself Ia
boring man, writes as follows to a
friend in Honolulu:
Australia Will go to the dogs just
as sure as the sun rises if the Labor
party keeps in power for this simple
reason: They will not let any money
into the country. Plenty of Americans
would be glad to open up this country
with millions of money at their back,
but the Labor party says NO, we will
do without you The result is that
everybody that can get away Is going.
Thousands nave gone, and soup houses
are feeding many. And all on account
OF pig headed Labor trying to drive
all men with money out of the land.
Many with large amounts of money
have come and gone. They could not
arrange with this country, so left for
South America
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-06-03

There is to be a thorough campaign
in Mexico against yellow fever, and on
the modern lines which have been SO
effective in Cuba The program IS set
forth by DR.. E. Liceaga, president of
the superior board of health. 1t is
based upon the fact that the stegomyia
fasciata mosquito is the principal, if
not the only means of transmitting
yellow fever. The methods proposed
to be put into practice to prevent the
development and propagation of yell
low fever are: The isolation of the
patient, the destruction of the infect
ed mosquito, and the prevention Of the
development of fresh mosquitoes of this
genus. Isolation in Mexico is to be
rendered as effective as possible. San
itary stations will be established in
selected localities which are to keep
close watch over the passengers who
travel by railroad, coach, on horse
back or on foot, and the detention
therein of the travellers who are either
sick, or suspected of being so. That
such stations can be made efficient
was proved. says DR.. Liceaga, by the
results that We're obtained in the state
of SinaIoa when the port of Mazatlan
and neighboring villages were invaded
by bubonic plague"
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-06-03
WAILUKU WATER RIGHTS
CASE FINALLY DECIDED
Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar Co. Gains In
junction Over WaiIuku sugar Co.
In Supreme Court.

there has been such abandonment is
question of intent, TO be determined
upon all the evidence.
Under the Judgment above quoted.
the respondent was awarded water for
the purposes of its sugar mill.
The water flowing from tunnel dug
oy the respondent on it's estate since
the date Of the Lonoaea judgment is
now owned by the respondent in addi-
ton to the water TO which it is entitled
under that judgment.
Water may be diverted from lands
entitled thereto to other lands, proyid-
ed such diversion can be accomplished
and to the extent only that it can be
accomplished without injury to the
rights of others
Where an attempt is made to SO
divert water, the burden is upon the
party making such attempt to prove
that the diversion is without injury to
the rights of others: and if the proof
is not such as to satisfy the court of
the harmlessness of such diversion, the
diversion will be enjoine2
The rights or the WaiIuku Sugar
Company in the waters of the Wailuku
stream declared and an injunction or
dered to issue restraining it from con-
tinuing certain illegal diversions of
water shown to have been committed
by it.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-06-03
Tricks of Young Russians to Avoid
Service.

'The life of a Russian soldier" said
the Sage, 'fs desperately hard. and
owing to the compulsory service laws
there are all sorts of attempts made by
the simple minded peasant to avoid the
quicker witted recruiting officer. At
a station in eastern Russia, for in
stance, a conscript recently pleaded
deafness and so wouldn't answer any
of the questions put to him.
You can go home, said the surgeon
at last, in a very low tone.
1.-The fellow jumped for the door and
so was caught.
Near Moscow a Hercules said that
the index and middle fingers of his
right hand were Joined together and
could not be separated. They didn't
look it, but the surgeons strength was
not great enough to separate them and
at last the examiner said:
How We're your fingers before you
had this Academic
/" They were this way said Hercu-
Ies-and, TO the surprise of everyone,
he Illustrated by opening his fingers
as easily as anybody else.
phia Press.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-06-03
Inventors, Attention.

How rich I'd be-" said an umbrella
salesman, IF 1 had patented the UNI
brella"
The floorwal6er smiled
'You might as we'll talk" said he,
"of patent on swimming or cooking
Umbrellas appear to have existed always.
Wherever we Observation-Disclosures, Nine
web, Nippur-traces of the umbrella are
found. This instrument is coeval with
mankind
at is of Oriental origin The English
didn't begin to use it till 1900. Shakes
peare, with all his genius, had no UNI
brella to protect him from the rain
Jonas Hanway was the first English
umbrella maker.
Now, what you might do would be to
patent some new sort of umbrella
some rain shield built on better lines
We have proof that the umbrella has
existed for 10000 years, and yet in all
that time it has not once been improved
Consider it. 1t is by no means perfect
1t turns inside out readily, and it only
protects the head and shoulders from
the rain. Change all that. Give us an
umbrella that is a complete rain shield
Then you will become millionaire >
Chicago Tribune.