West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-05-19


tor Worley's Peroration on the
Enemy.
The political situation rs still feverish. aud
many OF the defonet show signs of life with
a tendency to kick. The defeated pie.
hunters cannot reconcile themselves to their
lonely condition. which has left them in
this wide world 10 fret and to mourn,
betrayed by the voters 10 their boots. I
have been circulating among them con-
soling them as best could, but their grief
is like ioper's thirst, unquenchable. They
have all requested that I give them an
interview to be published in The ARGUS
that those who may follow in their foot
steps do not get lost in the wild woods.
As my sympalhies are always with the poor
aud afflicted 1 have granted their request
and as rapidly as eau get around aud see
them. 1 shall allow them TO give utierance
10 their vail
As the chief mournsr Of the defeated pie
hunters I called on Maj. James W. Flynn
on las, Tuesday The Major vas seated ia
his ufiiee going ihrough mass OF CORES
pondenoe aud figuring ON The number Of dele.
gates who promised TO support him. Accord.
ing to his figures he had twenty-seyen majority
on the ffsi ballot Where they escaped to is
ye, an undiscovered mystery. / observed
the Majors eyes were slightly swollen from
the flood Of tears which he had shed over
his defeat.
"My dear Maior," / said. with quiver
in my voice, as desire TO conform 10 the
solemniiy of she surroundings 81 have
called to renew my allegiance and assure
you that an one who will ever follow
where you lead. In former ages it was the
custom, and in the present age am sorry to
relate that many cling TO the ancient custom,
to desert leader who had met with good
walloping al the hands OF the enemy
That you have been wa,Ioped seveHy in
this terrible conflict tor pieology, is evident
features and torn garments. This, however,
makes me cling TO you more dearly. ! have
Oft times been the reeipient Of goodly
number of pies at your hands when you
owned the entire backery that cannot
turn migrate when you have nothing left but
the blessed memory Of the pies which we
have devoured Like the rest Of your fol
lowers I will have to subsist on the herbs
and roofs which we may gather in our sorrow-
full pilgrimage through the woods for the
next four years. But shall not complain,
and shall always remain faithful to our
leadership.
"If there is anything which you should
like 10 convey to your faithful but bemosn-
ing followers; IL there is any explanation
(which you can offer for your undeserved
trouncing at the hands Of the enemy, which
will give courage to Us who have resolved to
remain true to your leadership, would be
glad to spread D, bfoadess, through the
columns Of THg ARGUS, the medium which
moves the world to laughter ard to tears go
Il was fully ten minutes before the dc.
pressed and heaH-broken Major could con.
troll Ms sobbing. Ny sympathetic words
and stern resolution 10 remain loyal to him
had touched The tulip Of his heart aud set in
motion leakage in The reservoir wisici, lead
to bis optics. Il was distressing sight for
me TO witness, me, who only short Gme
ago had looked upon his joyous antics as be
explained to Us hia plan Of campagn and
how he would defeat the enemy when We
presented arms
"My dear Rambler" said the MsjoG
throwing his arms around me and pressing
his lips close to my classic but massive jaw,
'yom coming here Today has been source
Of great relief to me. Yom sympathetic
words and your assurance that you are still
willing 90 follow one who knows NO, where
70 lead yon TO escape lhe calamity which
has swept over ths fail land Of our. .isa
solace and great comfort 20 myself snd
those who depended upou me 10 furnish
them a supply Of mothers pies before we
embarked on ihe Defiant TO sail up Yalu
river in pursuit Of The enemy When mar
shalled my army TO meet ihe enemy in the
final and decisive battle Of ihe Campaien.
they presented a most handsome and dislin.
gaished dress-parade appearances Many
were che compliments paid our gorgeous
\ plumaes and gold ami silver decorated uni.
/ FORMS We we're all animated by The same
ambition and desire, 90 capture the pies
As they passed ln review for lhe last time
their uniform step 90 Ire Marshal music