Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1904-10-19

Teacher-What makes you think I'm
q good teacher?
Johnny-My pa. He said he'd lick me
if l didn't.-Boston Transcript
''Pshaw! These matches are no good"
Don't blame them; it is in the air.
We known many good match spoiled
by a trip to the Observation-Disclosures
Bits.
She-It must be awful to owe money
and not be able to pay it.
He-Yes, almost as bad as lending it
and not being able to get it back.-De-
troit Free Press.
Miss Screecher-Does my practicing
disturb you, Mrs. Bjones?
Mrs. Bjones-Not in the least, dear.
You know we used to live next door to
a sawmill.-Somerville Journal.
'.she is beautiful said the studious
girl, ''but she is not accomplished"
My DEAR" answered Miss Cayenne,
there is no accomplishment more diff
ficult than being beautiful. "-Washing-
ton Star.
'Did you ever stop to Think remarked
the Observer of Events and Things.
that if people paid their bills more
promptly there would be less occupation
for letter carriers ?'-Yonkers Statesman.
\ Kansas man who has had several
wives declares that it costs just as much
to dress little woman as big one, and
in his future selections the size of the
dear one will cut no ice with him-Den-
yer Post.
Mrs. Jawkins-Tve been trying to talk
to Mary over the telephone. but |
couldn't understand half she said.
Mr.. Jawkins-You'll find it easier if
you were to talk one at a time, my dear.
New York Telegraph.
'De Lawd made de 'possum for de
niger; but once pom time a. niger
white man smacked his mouth, en- ever
sence dat day all de niger got wuz de
neSr'-Atlanta Constitution.
Miss Vassurgurl-J to think of our
being engaged, and you saw me for the
first time at commencement.
Yalevard-Yes, strange, isn't it, that
your commencement should have been my
finish.-Woman's Home Companion.
Painful
A maiden, who lived up in Gloucester,
Felt so bad to have people acoucester
That when a young man
Said: "How are you, Nan"'
She said she had pains all acroucester
Houston Post
what in the world is that you have
on?' roared her father.
why, that is the coming-Out gown
mamma had made for me-"
''Well"' with a snort. Don't you dare
to come out of it any father. Houston
Post.
Hicks-How do you happen to be 60
ing fishing on Friday? l thought you be-
lieyed Friday was an unlucky day.
Wicks-Well, l always have. But it
occurred to me this morning that perhaps
it would be unlucky for the fish.-Somer-
vile Journal.
$50 their engagement is broken?"
Yes; they were both too shy to get
married.
What"
"WeI, you see, he was shy of money.
and she got shy of him when she found
it out. Philadelphia Ledger.
Papa-Your mother tells me you
haven't been a very good boy today,
Johnny.
Johnny-Between US, pa, think she's
a little prejudiced against me. 1t was
only the other day she told Aunt Kate
| was just like you.-Bos ton Transcript.
Aid. Duffy move you, Mr.. Chair
man, that we get a transparency for our
parade tomorrow evening.
Aid. Limburger-I mofe We gets a
trompone. | don't beliefe dere's a man
in de hall vots knows how to play Won
of dose transparency observation-disclosures
Ign Life.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak--You women never
know when to say no.
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-Td like to know
whyC Give don't.
| asked you to marry me. see the trOu-
BILE you would have saved"'-Yonkers
Statesman.
''You are newspaper man, are you
not? asked the physician.
Yes
''Wen, I think that you have fallen
active"
THAT is impossible. You see. am
war correspondent. "-Cleveland Leader.
An Irishman, meeting another one
holiday, invited him to the nearest sa-
loon to have drink.
Whatll ye have Jim?' said the host.
L don't know. What are We going to
take?'
Il think I'll take pale ale"
All right" said the other, give me
pail, too."-Lippincott's
Kate-I hear the engagement between
Lizzie and Fred is broken off. How did
it happen?
Harry-Oh, by mutual consent. They
went together for shore dinner. Some
how they couldn't see anything in each
other to admire after seeing each other
eating steamed CLAIMS without the aid OF
knife and fork.-BOSton Transcript.
Now, Jimmie, when you're on the wit
ness stand be sure and tell the truth"
said the father to his son. before the trial.
But, fatherr' began the boy, who saw
conviction staring thnnn in tho CO. e L.