The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1904-04-22
NO. 80.
What Fools We MortaIs Be.
came into the city


From the town of llackensack
Sez he II got the best Of the railroad
comp NY
l got ny ticket an amt goin back !"
City residents are accustomed to
egard visitors from rural commun-
rites in the same light as the Man
from Hackensack; but that only
shows, TO the wise one, the inordin-
ate conceit Of the city residents.
Perhaps the most densely ignorant
and provincial persons in the United
States are those "tough" denizens
of certain quarters OF every large
city, who were born and reared in
its limits, and who have never been
outside It's boundaries in their lives
These poor fools, outwardly boast
full if inwardly ashamed OF their ig-
norance, but supreme in their swag-
gering, bullying egotism, imagine
that the farmer" is the most SIM
lple, gullible person in the world.
And The metropolitan tough's esti-
mate OF the farmer has gradually
come tc be accepted strange, TO say,
by nearly all city residents, even
those who are intelligent enough 10
know better.
How far the exact opposite of this
Is true, may be judged from some
Iof the results of the investigation
which Prof. Wiley, chief chemist of
of the Federal Department of Agri-
culture, is making into our ordinary
food SUPPLIES. According to the
professor ali our butter and canned
goods and iellies and jams and beer
and whisky and wine, and every
thing else is dosed with glucose and
alum and borsx and goodness only
knows what, until one is reminded
Of the farmer, who being asked +,
!. You're one Of the chaps to whom
the city sharpers sell gold bricks,
+ aren't your" replied: "Not by a
+ durn sight, mister. / amt buyin'
: 10 gold bricks; I'm on t'other side
of market-sellin' you. city fellers
| watered milk, process butter, incuba-
tor eggs, an fcedin, my city board
ers on canned fresh vegetables. Nc
II amt buyin' no gold-bricks.
! guess the shoe's on t'other foot. +"
! 1t is not pleasant to learn from
1 Prof. Wiley that raspberry jam,
advertised as "the kind that meth
used to make" is nothing but clio
1 verseed and aniline dye, nor tha,
\ the beautiful green OF the tinted
! peas is due to verdigris, even though
\ ne does tell us that most OF thes,
! adulterations are harmless. Perhap:
] they are but they are certainly de
ceitful and dishonest. The manu-
I facturers and seller of these adulter
l ated goods should be prosecuted fc
4 obtaining onsy u der false pre-
ltenses.
4 "Where ignorance is bliss, I'll
] folly to be wise, remarks Uncle Si
! as be carries to town basket o
I strictly fresh" eggs, which hav'
) been placed in salt ever since las
A. spring, when the hens laid so pro
fusely. you're right there, dad
is responded his hopeful, pouring still
+ another pail of water into the "kag
of cider which will, on the morrow
a be prominently displayed on som
ne city grocer's counter. Don't fer
a get TO up end that barrel O. taters
a Bill" says ST, 81 got some nice bi
ones on top, and you've set 1t on it
head" Just as 81 gathers up th'
n reins, preparatory to starting to th
town, Sally says, "Say Paw, here
II a peck of elderberries you kin mi
ne with those two quarts Of huckleber
OF ries, Jimmie brought in last night
Ill Them city folks won't never kno'
the difference.
Ia And Sally is right-the city folk
wont never know the difference
Puck is right: "What fools W
v,,ortolo ha rTnd Sun