Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1904-10-27
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The fellow who rocked the boat last
summer IS now hunting deer up in the
Observation-Disclosures Post.
Dowie says he proposes to journey to
Jerusalem on an ass 1t Is always
safer to travel il pairs.-Washington
Post
Third Secretary Gurney's fine hav-
ing been RENTED, he saved $50. His
losses are incalculable.-Broo
Eagle.
The Gar is going for "a fortnight's
shooting" There is said to be very
good shooting in NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Herald.
Even diplomats should understand
that there is a difference between i'm
munfty and impunity.-Washing
Post.
Our latest and biggest new battle
ship seems to have got in just ahead
Of the international peace conference.
Boston Herald.
The Mormons in Salt Lake City are
celebrating the seventy-fifth annivers-
airy Of their multiplication table,
Birmingham News.
Kuropatkin's offensive movement
backward" is designed to foil the
enemy by leaving him with nobody to
fight.-Chicago News.
1t is about time for the goose-bOne
weather prophet to come along and
tell us what ! md Of winter we are go
ing to have Savannah News.
The coal man and the ice man have
struck an Alfonso and CASTOR atti-
tude. Will the weather man act as
umpire ATLANTA Constitution
An American heiress has just died
in London, leaving $1,OCO,OOO, but no
husband. Some women are so thought
less.-Jacksonville Times Union.
The British Tibetan expedition has
left Lhassa. That was because the
British couldn't take it with them. But
they will return.-Boston Globe.
1t is comparatively easy to make
dash for the pole. 1t is the getting
back that is likely to be slow proc
ss.-Washington Evening Star.
Chicago should have more night
schools. If there were more accom-
modations OF this character there
would be fewer hold-ups.-Chicago
Post
With General Corbin fighting Cupid
and Mr.. Roosevelt crusading against
race suicide. the average army officer
is under q warm fre-Birmingham
News.
Eyeglass insurance has been started
in New York. Eventually citizen
may be able to insure his pocketknife
and plug Of tobacco.-Kansas City
Times
Experience has shown that when a
japanese army disappears" q Rus
sian army somewhere or other is like
ly to find it unexpectedly.-Ch1cago
Chronicle.
Mr.. J. Pierpont Morgan denies the
report that he is going to retire from
business. Owners Of railroads will
continue to spike them DOWNSTREAM
nah News.
With the water shut off, the coal
bin empty and the gas bill due, Port
Arthur is in a position to sympathize
with some Of the rest Of us.-Ninne-
apolis Times.
Old DR.. Smith, the Mormon Pres-
dent, points out triumphantly that
there are no race suicide and divorce
problems in Mormondom.-Atlan
Constitution.
A Sunday school in Philadelphia
gives trading stamps for regular at.
tendance Anybody could guess whose
store the stamps are good in-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
United States Treasurer Roberts
assertion that $40 bills are popular is
undoubtedly true, and the more fel-
low has of them the better he feels
San Francisco Chronicle.
Perhaps those Yellowstone Park
bears killed that man and boy as
protest against the yarns told about
their tameness by the wild-animals-I-
haven't-met school.-New York Sun.
Russian authorities should be wise
to the fact that nothing makes the
American eagle scream more promptly
or more vociferously than interference
with the United States mail.-Phila-
delphia Inquirer.
The Intervention of society in behalf
Of the Hon. Hugh Quincy Is likely to
create an abnormal demand for cy-
clone cellars about the time the news
reaches Colonel Watterson.-Philad
phia North American.
4 New Jersey man who hadn't
spoken to 4 woman for thirty seven
years has married Il widow, and if he
lives long enough there's woman
who will speak to him for thirty-se
years-Memphis Commevcial-App al.
One Of New York's police judges has
solemnly held that a street-car con-
ductor has no right to kick a passen-
ger in the stomach. Conductors will
hereafter kick passengers in the face