davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
"Young Ideas. Random shots.

The following list of amusing mis-
takes made. by British. schoolboys in
their examination papers is compiled
by the University Correspondent, says
the New York World: , ,.
Iron is growing in large quantities
for manufacturing purposes IN >.
France.
The sun never sets on British pos
sessions because the sun sets in the
west, and our colonies are in the north,
south and east.
The diminutive OF man is mankind.
Question: Define the first person.
Answer; Adam. -
Blood consists of two sorts of cork
screWs-red corkscrews and white
corkscrews.
Asked to explain what a buttress is,
one boy replied. "a woman who makes
butter" and another, "a female butch
err"
Teachers dictation: His choler rose
to such hight that passion well-nigh
choked him. Pupils reproduction: His
collar rose to such hight that fash
ion well-pigh choked him.
A Jobs comforter is thing you
give babies to soothe them.
A sky-scraper is an overturned hat.
Political economy is the science
which teaches us to get the greatest
benefit with the least possible amount
of honest labor.
An emolument is a soothing medi-
cine.
In the United States people are put
to death by elocution.
Gravity was discovered by Isaac
Walton. 1t is chiefly noticeable in the
autumn, when the apples are falling
from the trees.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
By Degrees.

z whats that watch worth? % asked
Mr.. Klose, pointing to one in the show
case, says the Youths Companion.
Ten dollars" replied the jeweler.
I'll take it," said the customer, and
after paying for it he went out.
r The next day he came around again.
This watch doesn't exactly suit me-"
he said. Whats that one worth ?"
pointing to another.
-a Fifteen dollars"
|, I'm take that instead of. this one, #
you don't mind.
Certainly"
A day or two later he came again.
How good a watch have you got for
$25 ?' he inquired.
We'll, $25 will get pretty good
timepiece, said the jeweler, handing
one out. Here's one with a gold-filled
case, and full jewaled. The movement
is warranted"
"I'll take it."
He paid the difference, took the
watch and went away.
After a lapse of a few days he made
his appearance once more.
Have you got a first class watch
with a solid gold case that you can
sell for $5O?" he said.
Yes. Here it is"
"Well, I'll take it," said Mr. Klose.
Here's the other watch and $25. That's
the one l really wanted at first, but I
hated to pay out all that money at
once"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
INDEX 10 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Special Notices-Removal Notice,
Pittsburg Plate Glass Co; Notice to
Water Takers, 1. u. Kinsey, Superin-
tendent; Ship Notice. Williamson. &
Rauers To-days List, Jas. j. Joyce.
Business Notices-Fine Cured Meats.
A. NJ. G. C. w. West.
Extraordinary Pants Sale-The Met
ropolitan Co.
Our Regular Semi-annual Discount
SALEM. Dreyfus.
In the Midst of the Mill and Fac
tory Sale-Leopold Adler.
Pubhcations-The Delineator for Feb
Tuary.
Most Modern in the south-~E. &
w. Laundry.
Is Gritless-Gamble's Tooth Powder.
Savannah Theater- Creator and His
Band To-day, Matinee and Night.
Don't Have Observation-Disclosures
Druggist.
Medical-Herpicide.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel
Wanted, Employment Wanted, For
Rent For Sale. Lost. Personal, Mis-
feellaneous.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
A BAD SHOWING FOR MIR. WINNIE

In his testimony in the Machen case
on Wednesday. MIR. Wynne. First As
sistant Postmaster General. said. in
answer to questions, that he had sign
ed what was practically a warrant on
the United States treasury without
knowing what he was doing. In other
words he virtually admitted that it
was his custom to sign papers sent to
him by Machen without taking the
trouble to find out what they were.
The other day Judge Gaynor of New
York discharged a defendant who was
being tried for the larceny of jewels
from his employer on the ground that
the employer had been careless. and
left his jewels lying around where they
were a constant temptation to the ac-
cused. He assumed that the owner
of the Jewels was guilty of negligence
to such a degree that he was virtual
ly responsible for the downfall of his
servant. In what respect does the con-
duct of Mr.. Wynne differ from that
Of the owner of the jewels? Mr..
Machen knew of course that Mr.. Wynns
wasn't attending to the duties for
which he was receiving the money of
the government. He took advantage
of Mr.. Wynnes neglect.
OF what benefit was Mr.. Wynne to
the government? Is he not guilty of
neglect of duty that calls for pretty
| severe criticism? He was put in
a place of great responsibility to
| guard the interests of the government.
He admitted on the witness stand that
he didn't guard them. His excuse was
! that ii was impossible for him to know
the content of each document which
| he signed. What then was the use of
his signing it,. Didn't his signature
mean anything? 1t certainly did to the
| United States Treasurer. That official
supposed that Mr.. Wynne had examin-
ed the voucher and found it all right.
Otherwise he wouldn't have paid It,.
Evidently there is need for an inves-
| tigation such as the Democrats OF Con-
gress want to make. Doubtless there
are very many in the departments at
! Washington. like Mr.. Wynne, who feel
it to be too tedious to investigate the
correctness of the papers they sign.
They prefer playing the part Of a big
| politician.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

From the New York Sun

From the New York Sun.
o, thou cruel god of battles
Russo-Japanesey battles
Stay thy dreadful hand this minute
Ere the scrapping of the nations
Takes great spaces in the papers,
Filling column after column
With the stories of the marching,
OF the scouting and the fighting,
Of the siegeS and the burning;
Battles on the land and ocean,
Horse and foot and sailors fighting;
Serted hosts Of Romanoffski
Meeting those of Mutsuhito,
Full of vodky and of sake,
On the plains of Shidzuoka,
By the mount of Fusiyama,
On the Observation-Disclosures,
Vyshhevolotsk and Kosmogradska,
Observation-Disclosures Hiuga,
Iga, Setsu and Shikoku;
Kouropatkin, with his Cossacks,
On the jump for Horobumi;
Samurais of Minamoto
Chasing Observation-Disclosures,
Shikishmi ship of shooting,
Punching Petropaviovsk's sides in
But enough, o god of battIesl
You can see the deadly terror
Of war between two nations
Named as Russia and Japan are.
Let them rip each other open
If they want to-that's their business
But, by thunder, we are peaceful
People-reading of their battles,
And our jaws should not be broken
Merely seeking information.
Stop the fighting, have some pity
On the innocent and harmless.
Otherwise, by Jimminy-Christma
When the cruel war is over,
Myriads of broken-jawed ones,
Backed by every sense of justice,
Will descend upon each nation,
Russo-Jap or Japo-Russian,
And demand vast sums in pensions.
Now, you blamed old Pullemoffskl,
Stop the row or pay the damage.
See?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
TIE MORNING. NEWS is nublished

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Subscriptions payable in advance,
Remit by money order. check or reg
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Transient advertisements other than
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No advertisement accepted for less
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Letters and kilograms should be adj
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EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, II. C. Faulkner, Man
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

The mulcting of Mrs. Gardner Of
Boston by the government in some
100000 tariff duties on her imported
art works is leading some of our con-
temporaries to say unkind things about
'.the ridiculous duty on art" They
are saying that. while art is a lux
ury, it is educational and elevating and
ought to be free. But they should not
overlook the fact that our infant art
industry has got to be protected. Do
they wish to put our home art on a
footing with the pauper art of Europe?
DO they not understand that, with a
high tariff wall shutting out the paint
ings and statuary of Europe, our own
painters and chiseiers win have the
great American home market TO them
selves? Is 1t fair that Botticelli Of
Italy should be permitted to come in
TO competition with Smithkinson Hops
of Connecticut? The beauties of the
protective principle in the tariff far
surpass those of any mere paintings
or pieces Of carved marble.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
BRIGHT BITS.

. You told me; you had never been
in love with any other man, and
hear you were engaged to several"
well, that doesn't prove anything"
Brooklyn Life,
Voice from Adjoining Room: Papa,
have 1 disturbed you saying my pray
ers?
mo, my SON. '-.
"Well, was praying for a pair of
skates and hoped you heard me" Life
Young Lawyer: 1t will be quite
useless to try to break Old Jones' will,
don't yc'I think so?
Old Lawyer: Useless? Not at ALL
The relatives will gets lots of expe-
rience and we will get some fat fees"
Puck.
II suppose your Legislature did not
decide to send you to the Senate with
out great consideration"
NO" answered Senator Sorghum.
I'm fact, should hate to tell you how
much the consideration was. "-Wash-
ington Star
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
-o--0------a
PERSONAL.

3 Capt. Charles p. Jayne, now resid-
ing in Boston. had the honor of COM
handing the first vessel that passed
through the Suez canal. The craft
was known as the Moning, and al
though of American construction was
sailed under the British flag.
Stephen Bull, for many years prom
inent in manufacturing and banking
interests in Racine. Wis. has decided
to retire from business. He has re-
signed the presidency of the banking
institution and turned over his inter-
ests in an agricultural implement man
ufacturing concern to his sons,
w. r. Owens, who wrote the inter-
view in which Pierpont Morgan made
use of the famous phrase ''undigested
securities says the New York financier
is not the author of that quotation.
1t originally appeared in d financial
article in the london Times, and its
patness induced the interviewer to ask
Mr.. Morgan as to its significance.
Joseph P. Nannetti, NJ. P. one of
the candidates for the mayoral chair of
Dublin, spends the. parliamentary re-
cess in his position as foreman, over
seer on Il Dublin evening paper, where,
he declares, he is much happier getting
out editions one raftereanother than sit
ting in st. Stephens hearing Saxon
speeches. sta ~ A-.-
-Rudyard Kfpling was SO years old
on next to the last day of last. Decem-
Der. The London Chronicle remarks
that he sis perhaps the only living poet
of ours who can claim royalties that
are really royal. Publishers did not
find much margin for themselves when
they gave Lord Tennyson $4,000 a year
for all: his copyrights; but a single
book like The Seven Seas yields its
author according to popular report,
even richer treasure troVe."
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

1t is estimated that several millions
of dollars must be expended during the
winter TO keep the streets of New York
free. from snow. There is at present
much talk Of "arcading" Nassau street,
at cost of some hundreds of thou
sands of dollars. The two matters
taken in connection with each other
have suggested the query, wouldn't 1t
be a matter of economy to put the
whole city of New York under roof?
The great sums spent for snow remov-
al would in a few years pay for the
''arcading" of the whole island. But,
If all the streets were rooted in, how
long would it be before most of the
people would be wanting TO get on the
roof to do business? And then the
snow problem would be as serious as
ever.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

A new swindling game has been dis
1t was by outsiders against New York
ers, and not vice versa. 1t is said
that numerous checks have been re-
ceived by cotton and stock exchange
brokers from several persons in the
South. principally from postoffices in
South Carolina and North Carolina.
These checks were sent as margins In
cotton and stock deals. Examination
demonstrated that the checks were
worthless. The scheme of the persons
sending them apparently seemed to be
TO protect them If they hit the mar
ket right, otherwise to let them go tC
protest.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
A Vivid Descrintinn.

Commander Wainwright, who was
on the Maine when it was blown up
off Havana. tells of a vivid account
If the disaster given by che of he
tackles" The sailor had been
wounded. and was in the hospital at
Key West. He was asked what he
knew of the explosion. We'll. sir"
replied the sailor, II can't say that I
knows much of it. l was a-corkin' it
off in me hammock, sir. when l hears
h of a noise! Then, sir. the
nurse says sit up an take this.'ss
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
God n Gentleman.

Two little children of Rochester
were sitting in room one evening
after dark. with their faces pressed
to the window and their eyes fixed on
the stars. For some time they con-
templated the armament in silence,
then suddenly one of the little fellows
turned to the other and said: Wasn't
God a nice man to give us the stars
for a light?" "Oh, Teddy, how can
you say such thing?" said the other
boy, much shocked. "You shouldn't,
call God man. If ever there was a
gentleman, He's one!"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

A woman's club in New York, seek
ing for something to reform, has pitch
ed upon certain practices of the big
department stores as needing reforma-
ton. The club has ascertained that
the department stores are in the habit
of docking" their employees when they
come late to work, so much per min
ute for each minute they are late. A
timekeeper is employed at the big
stores who checks in and out every
employee, and it is asserted that in one
instance this timekeeper manages by
hook or crook to reduce the salary list
of his employers by at least 20 per cent.
each week. The woman's club in ques-
ton thinks this is an exceeding hard
ship on the employees, hence will en-
deavor to have the custom of dock
ing" abolished by act of the Legisia-
ture, leaving the employees to come and
go at will.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
MIR. HEARsr,s CAMPAIGN.

| One of the reports that are being
| circulated in New York relative to Mr..
| William r. Hearst's campaign for the
| Democratic nomination for President
is that he will be nominated by a ma
tional labor convention before the
! Democratic National Convention as
| sembles. 1t is said that the Tam
many men who attended the meeting
of the Democratic National Committee
heard this report in Washington.
1t is possible of course that the re-
port is we'll founded, but it is doubtful
if Mr.. Hearst is encouraging the labor
element to hold a national convention
for the purpose of nominating him.
Still, there are two ways of looking
at the matter. 1t is we'll understood
of course that he is making a great
effort to get the Democratic nominal
ton for President. He may argue
that if he were to be nominated by
national labor convention he would
stand a better chance of getting the
nomination of the Democratic party.
On the other hand it might seem to
him that the Democratic party has
had enough of fusion campaigns dur
ing the past eight years, and would
hesitate to name as its candidate the
man who had been named by another
political organization. The probabili-
ties are that Mr.. Hearst isn't seeking
a nomination from a labor party.
Such a party couldn't be induced to
adopt platform that would be ac-
ceptable to the Democratic party.
Any platform that would be wholly
acceptable to a labor party couldn't
command the support Of a united
Democratic party. 1t is extremely
doubtful if Mr.. Hearst could get the
presidential nomination of the Demo-
cratic party if he had been nominated
by a national labor convention, 1t is
pretty safe to assume therefore that
he isn't seeking a nomination from
national labor party.
1t has been charged that Mr.. Bryan
favors the nomination of Mr.. Hearst.
If he does he has never said so, and
in Washington he denied that he was
supporting any particular candidate.
The most he has said is that he
doesn't think the nomination will go
to any man who didn't support the
regular Democratic ticket in the last
two presidential campaigns. That
means of course that he is against the
nomination of any one who didn't sup
port him in his two campaigns.
If Mr.. Bryan gives his support to
Mr.. Hearst the latter will have very
considerable support in the convention,
but the opinion of the ablest of the
Democratic leaders is that Mr.. Bryan
will not be much of a figure in the
convention, and that Mr.. Hearst will
fall far short of having enough dele
gates to get the nomination. Mr..
Hearst's delegates and Mr.. Bryan's
influence together, however, might pre-
vent the nomination of any one not
satisfactory to them. The fear that
Mr.. Hearst would have that much
power was one of the reasons why st.
Louis was selected as the convention
city. Senator German is given the
credit for having st. Louis selected.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

The Laurens Is. CO. Advertiser
takes a pessimistic view of the political
situation. 80 far as South Carolina
is concerned" it says, likely as not it
will go for Hearst. 1t is by no means
impossible that counties will instruct
for Hearst. We usually instruct for
any aud all things handy. Whatever
is preposterous, outlandish or hopeless
is almost sure to appeal TO the South
Carolina Democracy" 1t must be ad-
mitted that there is reason for the
Advertisers gloom; still there is a ray
of hope. Has Tillman declared yet
for Hearst? 1t will be as he says, of
course. If he should oppose Hearst,
the astonishing young man from New
York wouldn't get a vote in South
Carolina. Tillman is still the Svengali
of the Palmetto State. When he waves
his wand South Carolina sings.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
A DOUBTING THOMAS.
Had His Falling Hair Stopped, anu
Dandrrff Cured, Without Faith

II. B. Fletcher, Butte, Mont t I
20, 1899, says: Like many otnes
people, / have been troubled for yedI .',
with dandruff, and within the last l s,,,
months my hair came out so pau
that was compelled to have VIVA liard
had left clipped very close. Al lIieiG
recommended Newbro's Herplclue.
confess that I doubted his story; pue ir
gave Herpicide a trial; now my zoe Frea
is as thick as ever and entirely IT. IT,
from. dandruff." destroy the cause.
you remove the effect" Herplclde. IS
a delightful hair dressing for res sand
use. Sold by leading druggists 9 Tbe
loo in stamps for sample 10
Herpicide Co. Detroit, Mich. -,
Livingston's Pharmacy ConlPaI''
Special Agents.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

A committee is considering the place
of meeting of the coming international
Peace Congress, which is to assemble
in this country this year. Boston and
St. Louis are leading candidates for
the honor of entertaining the Congress.
The intellectual atmosphere Of Boston
would suit the International peace
makers best. but they cannot forget
that st. Louis is going to hold a great
exposition this year. and that the
Streets OF Cairo will be in full blast at
about the time Of the meeting.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

A society divorce case that is re-
ceiving much attention in New York
affords an illustration of the need of
uniform divorce laws in this country.
The case is that of Mrs. Duncan c.
Pell, who is suing for divorce from
her husband. alleging the statutory
ground. 1t seems that Duncan c. Pell
and his wife separated some years ago,
the wife receiving a substantial sum
per month under the articles of separa-
ton. Pell went to Florida and estab-
lished residence, and after a time Sc
cured a divorce from a Florida court
on the ground of desertion. Subse-
quently he married Miss Gardner at
Orange, N. Y. The honeymoon vks
hardly over before the first Mrs. Pell
brought suit for divorce, naming wife
No. 2 as correspondent. Pell's law
yer's claim that his divorce from No.
/ is legal in Florida and must there
fore be recognized in New York. The
lawyers for Mrs. Pell No. l assert that
the Florida decree is of no force in
New York, hence MIR. Pell is a biga-
mist.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

That radium viii cure cancer was
asserted as a fact by Prof. Morton of
the New York Postgraduate Medical
School in lecture in that city day
or two ago. He cited several cases.
giving the history of each, in which
cancer patients had been treated with
radium, and in every instance, he as
serted, the cure had been perfect.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

Both Japan and Russia are in the
market for the purchase of ships for
transport service. These ought to be
good times with the owners of old
tubs. But maybe Japan and Russia
will not pay as fancy prices as were
paid by the. United states IN 1898.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

Rev. Campbell Morgan, who is stir
ring Philadelphia people with his
preaching, says: You must read the
newspapers or else you'll be an igno-
ramus in your age. 1 take newspapers
to be the superlative example of the
age, through. which we must become
acquainted with the affairs of the
world ,,
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

Russia's budget for the current year
places the estimate for the army at
a little more than $3.50, 600. That is
a prodigious sum, and we peace
loving Americans may be moved to
wonder why the Russians permit
themselves TO be hurdened with such
a heavy load. Does not Russia see
that miIitairism is a grievious hard
ship to her people? But, when we
come to think Of it. how does our own
military burden compare with that of
Russia? We pay $14O,O0OOOO a year for
pensions alone. Add to this some $780,
100000 for the. support of the army,
and it will be seen that our military
burden is much greater than that of
Russia. -'t
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16
The weather.

The indications for Georgia for to-
day are for rain, with fresh south
winds. Eastern Florida, fair and
warmer weather. except rain in north
ern portion. with fresh south winds.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-01-16

First love, If it be true and deep, is
hard to eradicate. Eighteen years ago
Joe Garcia, a farm hand, was kicked
off farm at Wilkesbarre. Pa, because
he dared to love his employers daugh-
ter and tell her so. But the kicking
did not cool Joe's passion. He went
West and grew up with the country.
Now he is an important official of the
Santa Fe Railroad, with headquarters
at Albuquerque, N. NJ. When fortune
smiled on him and he became firmly
fixed in his railroad position he re-
turned to Pennsylvania to look up his
sweetheart, and after some weeks found
her in Philadelphia still single. She
had remembered the Farmland lover
and was true to him, and so they were
married. Papa-in-law is probably now
proud Of the son-in-law that he once
kicked.