davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28

Alice-"Herbert says he is q self
made man." Kitty-"How he must
suffer from remorse."-Harper's Bazaar.
Shc-"Shall We so to church in the
auto, dear?" Ee-"By all means. It's
bound to break down before we get
there."-Life. 'lrsnt.
Were you out at the races every
day. sputter?' "N-o, the day it rained
I stayed a. home and wasn't out q
eent."-Detrvir Free Press.
The men who study law. they say
Take contracts. wills and torts.
The medicals content themselves
With measles, mumps and warts.
Yale Record.
"His wife is an ardent temperance
worker, isn't she?' Eyes; she won't
travel in the West because she heard
that the climate is stimulating."-
Cleveland Leader. Il
Mrs. Rabbit--"Oh! I'm so glad you're
home again. I've missed you dread.
fully" Mr.. Rabbit-'Thank you, my
dear. I'm happy to say that the anna.
teur hunter 1 met did the same thing"
PUCK. .ixEsa
Wife-"But doesn't it cost an awful
lot of money to send me to the seashore
for three months every sunmer?"-
Hus5and-"Oh, yes, Of course. Money
is certainly a great blessing."-Chicaga
Daily News. nj
Mrs. Backlotz-"So your servant girl
has left you again" Mrs. Subbubs-
yes" Mrs. Back!otz-"What was the
matter?" Mrs. Subbubs-"She didn't
like tie way 1 did her :work."-Phila-
delphia Press.
A lady who loved in Duluth, =!
Was thought to be wild and uncuthf
She lisped, so they say, 49,.
But explained it this way:
II gucth that my tongueth jutht worked
luth." N
cleveland Leader.
The Typcwriter-"You told me YOU
were going to raise my salary last
week, sir" The Boss-"L know: and
I did raise it. But I expect to have
q very hard time to raise it this week.
Chicago Journal. ..:M
"And do you expect to follow in the
footsteps of your father when you
grow up:" asked the good man.
Nav" replied Tommy, "me fader is
de legless wonder in de museum."-Chi.
cago Record-Herald. %. II
Father Cutting the whip s:nartly
through the air)-"See, Tommy, how /
make the horse go faster without strik'
ing him at ALL" TomWC-"Papa, why
don't you spank US children that wayS7
Glasgow Evening Times. 81
$50 you don't want a yindication?"
NO." answered Senator Sorghum.
when you so after a yindicatlon the
chances are that you simply pro,ong 4
controversy that merely reminds people
that you arc under suspicion."-iTash-
ington STAR. w.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
q LANGUAGE.

The graphists are at it again,
and grammars and dictionaries of q
new international tongue to be called
'~'Spokil." have been published. The
new language contains about 10000
words, mostly French, and is so coll
structed that II can tell 1t sight
whether Il word is Il noull. adjective or
verb. and can also guess its meaning.
The idea is TO make all words similar
in meaning similar i'll sound. Thus,
great wide" fat long" "tnick'
are represented by "aipo," ''alko,"
"%aljo,' also alto" and their con-
verse by similar symbols beginning
with q III" instead Of an "a" Like
Volapuk. Espcrant and the rest. it is
doomed to failure until everybody can
be compelled by force majeure to
learn it. Really, as somebody has late
ly suggested. Latin, if deprived OF al!
It's declensionS and c~onjugationS, would
answer all the purposes OF i "pidSin'
language and would come easy to all
civilized people. Here. as elsewhere
i'll educational matters, perhaps it is
Germany who is the cnemy.-Pall Mall
Gazette.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
THE HARMLESS HLAcKsNAKE.
Seemingly q Pugnacious Reptile Ho 10
Really Almost Tame.

Really Almost Tame.
Somehow or other most people III
this country fail to distinguish between
venomous and harmless snakes. There
'iars /. Of course. Il few OF the former.
but the great majority OF the snakes
encountered in tile northern part OF
the United States are incapable Of in
f1icting injury. Having no poison, they
cannot hurt by biting. Indeed, they,
will not bite, except upon great provo
cation. The season when snakes are
ant to be encountered has now come
to a close, but Il contribution of J.. r.
Smith. iii tue last issue CT the Amer
lean Inventor, contains so much sense
that it deserves mention.
The writer confines his attention to
the blacksnalie. about which many
fabulous stories are told. and which is,
nevertheless, far more timid than the
s%illiest girl. Mr.. Smith declares That
the notion that 4 blacksnake ever
chases a person is the vcriest nom
sense. THAT it has wonderful alert
ness is true, but it is always in haste
to get away: only when it is cornered
will it show fight, and then it IS mostly
4 bluff" MI. Smith says. "ThrustinS
out {. forked tongue means to many
danger Of being stung. 1 have tried
many a time to seiZ2 one Of these
very p%ugnacious fellows, which had
reared up half his length, and sway
ing from side to side with the forked
tongue vibrating, but at the first mo-
ton, like q flash. Mr.. Snake was off. l
was never quick enough to catch Il
when it was seemingly so aggressive.
early in April II the latter part OF
March we find them just crawling out
from their winter quarters to enjoy
the warm sun. At that time they are
very sluggish and any n can handle
them with Ease. AS the weather gets
warmer they become more active, and
it is difficult to get hold Of one of them.
While they are mating the male seems
very ~pugnacious, thrusting out his soft
forked tongue. He looks dangerous.
but glides into some nearby place OF
refuge at once oG near. approachf the
female usually going in the opposite di-
rection.
"They lay an oval white egg with
a leathnry shell, sometimes Il dozen
or more, in some warm place where
hey arc Matched by the sun. X cleaner
or more harmless creature it will be
difficult to find.
"a friends keeps two or three N his
cellar just to demonstrate to some of
his friends what can be done with
them. The snakes are very much alive.
In order to quiet them somewhat the
snakes are put into a tub of cold water
for a few minutes before handling.
They will bite if they are angry, but
the lite is not as deep or painful as Il
pin scratch: just the tiniest little teeth,
not long enough to reach more than
Just through the skin. IT they arc
handled gently they do not offer to
bite"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
Watch as a Shirtstud.

The latest novelty in watches has
just been completed By a matchmaker
in Paris, who has made q set Of three
gold shirtstudS, in one oil which is a
watch that keeps excellent time. the
dial being about three-eighths OF an
inch in diameter.
The studs are connected by a strip
of silver inside the shirt. The watch
contained in the middle II is wound
by the turning Of the stud above and
the hands are set by turning the stud
below. The most striking thing about
the minute machine is that it works
with a pendulum like a clock, and the
pendulum will act with ease and &C
curacy in whatever position the time
piece is placed. even if it be upside
down.-BoSton Herald.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28

because she is in charge Of the model
school on the Philippine Reservation
at the st. Louis Fair, and has been
largely instrumental in the collection
of exhibits for the educational display
at the Exposition. She is a native
Filipino, about twenty-five years old.
She graduated from the Collegio de
Santa Rosa, a Jesuit institution. After
American occupation she took an Eng
lish course, graduating in 1902, and as
Stunning charge Of the Santa Cruz
school in Manila. Later she was trans.
ferred to the Manila Normal College.
Miss Zamora believes thoroughly in
having American methods and the
American language instituted in the
islands for the education Of the natives.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
"Won't l, though:|
But this is most unfair.'

won't /, thought"
But this is most unfair."
"All is fair i'll war and
please play" ::h2 interrupted,
quickly.
Not Il note. Are you going tc invite
ms:" with
out you"
The attempt 20 set Eliza in motion
by alternate kindness and discipline
was Il failure.
At the end of fifteen minutes Miss
| Barbara returned to the scat, ex-
hausted.
II suppose I must accedc 10 Your
demands" she said, "or I shall be here
permanently
DO YOU invite me of yOr" own free
will to accompany YOU homc:'
Yes. I suppose So
"Cordially?'
"You never said it muSt DC cordial"
at must certainly be cordial
"Well, cordially, then"
81 am entirely at your service" he
answered, opening the banjo case.
Five minutes aftcrward a rotuLG
white mare logged easily along L
charming country lane drawing 4 pha-
cton which contained Il MAJ who
laughed and a girl who protested. A.
belt not wrathfully, that something
OF other was il mean advantage and dc.
tcSiablY unfair.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
Not One Agreed.

DR.. X, Of Capitol Hill, ilas--rare
thing for a Washington physician-an
Irish driver. The doctors horse is kept
at a livery stable, and when its owner
and the driver arrived there on Il Sun
day morning not long ago the doctor
discovered that his watch had run
down hours before. He asked the time
Of one of the men lOunsing about the
stable, The man produced a noisy tin
turnip and announced the hour rs Q.
The livery stable keepers watch made
it S.57. Somebody else's had it $40.
"Come OIL, JIM" said the doctor to
the driver. ITS no use. No two of
these watches agree
NO two of th:m!" said Jim. Faith.
never Il wan Of thin agrees.
ington Post.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
HIS WAY.

7 would not like TO say that he
Has never told the truth to me.
IF not by actual intent. =.
He has, at least, by accident.
He's vivid OF imagination
And somewhat loose in allegation.
His statements are sometimes fallacloua
And thus fall short Of the reracious.
7 would quite willingly believe
He has no purpose to deceive;
And yet it is unfortunate
That ne will so exaggeratc.
A thousand pities he will tarnish
The truth with such q coat OF varnlsh-
And make one feel a sort of bias
In favor of old Ananias.
Still we. Of course, VINO know his fault
Can always use Il grain of salt.
And n~inety-nine per cent. substract
From anything he states as fact.
You understand. of course, that I
Don't mean to say the man would lie.
Chicago News
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
Is the Crow l. Friend

Ths much nialigned crow has found
9 champion n Germany. who declares
That the good ne does in destroying in-
sect lie more than comprnsates for his
o2ca sioDai dcpredatiuns IN the farm
e.s' cereals. Nearly 5Gt crow stomachs
were examined, Of .wh!ah ninetE.four
per cent. contained animal food, while
lass than twenty per cent. contained
cry plant feed. The ANIMAL food 9 n
sisted Of H3rtions Of mammals, birds.
fish and otlc" T"rtchra:cs, together
&iith slails, Insects, etc,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
THE CRY.

! b. feel no pride. bul pity
For the burdens the rich endure;
There is nothing true in the city
But the patient lives of the poor.
Oh. the little hands too skilltul:
And the child-mind chokcd with weeds
Oh. the daughters heart grow, wiltul..
And the fathers heart that blccds!
No. no, from the streets rude hustle.
From the trophies OF mart and stage,
| would fly to the woods low rustic
And the meadows kindly page.
Let me dream as of old by the river.
And he loved for the dream Away;
Tor Il dreamer lives forever.
aud Il toilcr dies in a day.
John Boyle ORc;!iy.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28

I am tired OF planning and toiling
In Che crowded hives OF men:
Heart:weary. OF building, and spelling,
And I long Tor the dear old river.
Where | dreamed my youth away;
For q dreamer lives forever,
And a toiler dies iE j day.
/ am sick Of the snowy seeming
OF the life that is half I lie;
O. the faces lined with schemirs
In the throng that hurries by:
From the sleepless thoughts endeavor
I would so where the children play;
For a dreamer lives forever,
And a toiIer dies in Il day.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
A Filipino
Teacher.

The advancement Of education among
the Filipinos under American inlu-
nee is rapidly progressing. Not only
are there now a large number Of Amer
lean teachers in the islands doing daily
excellent work, but the number Of
well-qualifed Filipino, teachers is con
stantly increasing. Among these Miss
Pillar Zamora, whose portrait appears
here, is of especial interest just now
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28

the comfort of the wearer first, last
and all the time. AS will be seen by
the picture the sole is so constructed
that elasticity and ventilation are
given with each movement of the foot.
The shoe yields to the inclination OF
the instep in walking, and the COM
preston and depression of the sole
successfully forces little draughts Of
air beneath the inner sole. 1t is said
that this new shoe is highly recon-
mended from a sanitary standpoint.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
A Good Barometer.

The seagull makes a splendid living
barometer, according to the Lahore
Tribune. If 4 convoy OF seagul!s flies
seward early in the morning, sailors
and fishermen know the day will be
fine and the wind fair. but if the birds
keep inland-though there be no haze
hanging out toward the sea to denote
UNPLEASANT weathcr-intcrested folk
kn21; that tie .,omcnts will BIZ unfa-
vorabla.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
TO MAKE WALKING EASY.
The Century.
and Servant.

Who has not at one time or another
experienced the fortunes of walking
in uncomfortable shoes, and who has
not more than once wondered why
some growing genius did not present
to suffering humanity a remedy for the
many evils that do beset the feet?
What seems to be q solution Of the
trouble will be found in a newly-con.
trived shoe which has for its. purpose
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
Antnmuoiic EGItS.

Fishermen or Tie Lake OF EtGcharel
are using automobile heats. They are
driven by q benzine moio- and lighted
by electricity. They are ilatbottoncG.
glide roisciessly over tho water, do not
brighten the isl and are q great sue
oors
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
The Greau CShiea.

There is 2J2,I3G niles OF OCEAN cable
In operation today and oEiy SS.1GI
miles are owned By governments. I'll"
british cables. which. connect london
with all parts of the world, have a TO-
tai mileage Of 15l nIl.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-09-28
"RECONC|LED BY ELIZA.
\ jolly Good Story From
London ANSWERS
iY&4SYeg Ak %s&HSNS. ~ &:4:&!G@D

IIE. ,oral train, which had
been speeding out OF town
at the rate Of twelve miles
III hour, came suddenly to
q stauGstill with 4 violent
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28
Good

>&our reputation as a nation Of invent
ors is liable to suffer if the reports
from Australasia are correct. These
enterprising colonies of Great IBritain
which have given the world the best
form of ballot, and compulsory arbritra-
tion in labor disputes, have recently in.
troduced system Of running trains
which makes collision impossible. Err
glneers in New Zealand are not allowed
to leave a station without a tablet
from a machine which allows only one
to be out at time, consequently two
engines can never be running at the
same time on the same stretch of road
II this invention is perfected and prac.
tlccal' every railaoad company ought to
be compelled to use It.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28
The Question Answered.

Is Deming a healthy town? None
more so between the Atlantic and Pa.
ciffic millpOnds. Then why do people
leave here during the summer? That's
too easy. A large portion of the resi-
dents Of Deming left their former homes
and came here on account of some old
chronic affection that wouldn't yield to
medical treatment. A change of eli
mate seemed the only hope of recovery.
They came here and the result of the
change was complete restoration to
health. Well, after a time good health
becomes monotonous, and they goaway
for season, simply to get a twinge of
the old malady by way of variety, Then
they return again to enjoy the blessed
consciousness of recuperation. "Vari-
ETY. is the spice Of life, and is our most
enjoyable recreation.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28
Gen. Bartlett Dead.

Edward l.. Bartlett, Solicitor Gen.
eral Of New Mexico. died at Santa Fe
last Monday evening. He was 81 years
Of age. He came to Santa Fe in 1880
and from that date has been very ac-
tive in all matters pretaining to the
welfare and advancement Of New Mex
leo. He was adjutant general Of the
Territory from 1882 to 1889, when he
was appointed solicitor general, which
position he has held ever since except
ing three years.
Gen. Bartlett held high rank in Ma
sonic circles, also in the Knights of
Pythias and was a member Of the San
Ia Fe Lodge Of Odd Fellows. He has
served as member of every Republi-
can Territorial board for the past
twelve years. He was a gentleman in
the truest sense Of the word, and
wherever placed, did his duty consci
entiOusly and fearlessly. His loss will
be deeply felt, not only at the capitol,
but throughout the entire Territory.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28
Successor To Gen. Bartlett.

A Santa .Fe correspondent of the FL
Paso Times writes in regard to Gen.
Bartlett's successor as follows: There
Is a strong sentiment in favor of an
pointing some young, aggressive earn
est republican member of the bar. for
it is felt hat the republicans of the
territory need leader a man of good
address, who will not be afraid to take
the offensive In politics when necessary.
1t is pointed out that those who have
made themselves a name in late wears
as district attorneys, as state attor.
neys, as politicians, have been compar-
atlvely young men.
Joseph W. Folk, District Attorney
Jerome, James T. Beck and MANY
others in seni-polltical and yet legal
positions are young men. Governor
Otero, himself is young man. and
PRESIDENT Roosevelt has a leaning to.
&ard young men, so that there is a
likelihood of the honor falling 10 a
joung man, who, although not deeply
STEPPED in legal lore, is yet good law
yer and more than that, an aggressive
and adroit politician, convincing speak
er and popularl political worker. For
that reas m j. M. Harvey of Roswell.
ex-Assistant United States Attorney
Reid Of Roswell, l.. o. Fullen of Carls-
bad, r. M. Hanna of Santa Fe; A. w.
Pollard Of Deming, H. K. Turner of
Silver City, and Others are being dis
clisJed without their knowledge. and
the plum may fall into lap that least
expects it.
We certainly shall be greatly pleased
to announce that the plum fell INTO Mr..
Pollard's lap; for he is certainly a
"good lawyer, an aggressive politician,
a convincing speaker and popular
political worker" And outside of
politics he possesses many of those
qualifications that so endeared Gen.
Bartlett to all who knew him.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28
The Situation.

The complete breakdown of the Dem
ocratic national campaign almost three
weeks in advance OF the election has
caused much surprise among practical
politicians. There is no attempt to con.
ceal the fact that the campaign has
gone to pieces, and that overwhelming
defeat Of Parker Is conceded by many
of his friends. The Democratic nation
al headquarters Is a grotto of gloom.
The hired men there are packing
their personal belongings and going
home angry and disgusted. They ex-
pected to draw their salaries until cleo
tion day, and they cannot understand
why the bluff was not kept up to the
end.
No man at what remains of the Par
ker national headquarters will give out
any estimate whatever Of the electoral
vote. Every man there who talks at
all admits frankly that Parker has no
chance of election. Most of the Dem
ocratic congressman who have been
making speeches for the national com.
mittee have thrown up their jobs and
and hurried home to try to save their
own districts. The men who were en-
ployed in the various bureaus are no
longer on the pay rolls, and they are
going home. By the end of the week,
at the present exodus, the headquarters
will be practically deserted and the
campaign come to ridiculous end.
The New York Sun says: The Dem.
ocratic presidential ticket has stead
ly lost ground since Judge Parker read
his disappointing speech from the ESQ.
pus veranda. All the hopes raised By
his sensational gold telegram were theo
d shed, and CONSERVATION siezad
his party when It was seen that his
chosen associates in the conduct of the
campaign were August Belmont, whose
name is a red rag to the Bryan ele
ment of the party; David B. Hill, to
whom the candidate owed all his judi.
cial honors and emoluments, and whose
very name is a ran& offence to the
Cleveland Democrats: and P. II. McCar-
ren, a machine politician of race-track
reputation.
The people are marking time until
they can march to the polling places and
duly record their faith in the politics of
the Republican party, which assure
them abiding prosperity.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28
Out With 1t.

The antitrust law was passed prior
to Mr.. ClevelBnd's last and final ad-
ministration, Now, will some homes
democrat; land there are many of
hem) kindly rise up on his hind legs
and tell us why Grover and Richard
did not annihilate the awful" trusts
when they were in power, sworn to do
heir whole duty; when the law was
plain and the courts were bound to do
their bidding?
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28
A Correction.

BE it understood, reports to the con-
trary Notwithstanding, that the publ.
cation of this paper under its present
management is not to cease at the close
OF the present campaign. How the re-
port started we know not and care les
Perhaps with some the wish is father
to the thought. We have taken hold
Of the Graphic to stay with it. and if
the republicans of the county and the
business portion of Deming will give us
their patronage the rest is easy.
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28

The Santa Fe has arranged that trous
ers can be pressed on the California lin.
tied. This is new scheme and it is the
only tram in the world where your trous.
ers will be taken by the porter at night
and pressed properly for your use when
you arise in the morning. In addition tc
this there is to be Whitley exerciser in
the buffet car, library, barber. bath
rooms, colored maids and electric curling
irons for the ladies. 1--WE. willalso issue
bulletin of news every morning and
evening" said General Agent Hall,
80 that the traveller will have his daily
news laid in his seat twice day."
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28
Gentry Bros. Shows.

No event happens within the calen.
dar year that attracts more announce.
ment Importance to the hearts of the
"little folk" than does the Gentry Bros.
and their famous animal actors and the
simple announcement of an exhibition
plays havoc with the picnic schedules
and other things which are intenended
to delight the hearts of the little ones.
For almost score of years, Gentry
Bros. Famous Shows have been sue
cessful in ammusing both young and
old, and this season by combining their
exhibitions a program exactly twice as
long and meritorious as before is pres
ented. The combined street parade will
be given upon the morning of the day
Of the exhibition which has been an
Gounced for Deming, Mondov, Oct. 3lst
Deming graphic. (Deming, N.M.) 1903-1948, 1904-10-28

The 18th National Irrigation Con-
gress' soon to be held in Ell Paso, will
eclipse in numbers and interest ..all that
have been previously held. This con-
gress will have large delegation from
the southern rice growing states. and
the question of retaining the flood wa
ters Of the Mississippi and Missouri riy-
ers will be discussed.