New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1904-08-24
A Cour1sbip
In RbYm e
IOriginaI.]

friends who We're married He took
careful note of both and made I'D his
mind that the independence of single
life was far preferable to the slavery
of marriage.
The bachelor could enjoy his income
without having to think of the con-
stantly wearing toes of children's
shoes, the changes of Women's fash
ions, indeed all such absorbers of funds.
He noticed that as soon as his friends
were married-at least those with aver
age incomes of spending 10
cents for a cigar they would either
spend 5, smoke a pipe or go without
tobacco entirely. And as for drinking
their accustomed cocktail, they sudden
" found that cocktails were bad for
the stomach. This, Whitridge averred,
was because neither the coffee bean
nor lemon peel would keep their wives
from a knowledge Of the situation and
consequent lecture.
When Whitridge was thirty-hve and
beginning to tire of his bachelorhood,
though he was unconscious Of the
transition, he met Grace BEDFORD,
sprightly little girl, to whom he made
no scruple to confide his matrimonial
prejudices. Miss BEDFORD astonished
him not only by agreeing with him,
but by 'out-Heroding Herod." She de
clared that marriage was a greater
bondage to the woman than to the
man, and If woman married a man
he should consider himself under great
obligations to her. This was new
and startling view Of the case to Whit
ridge. Indeed it excited certain acrid
spirit within him that drove him to
continue more bitterly than before his
cnslaughts on marriage. But whether
that was really owing to Miss Red
ford's views or that certain witchery
there was about her goaded him on it
is impossible to say. At any rate he
grew more sneering every time he met
her. One evening while they were on
the subject Whitridge borrowed dia-
mond ring she wore and scratched on
window pane:
There's many a man. when the key has
On the wedlock for which he has ardently
yearned,
Would give all the wealth in his bank or
his pocket,
And borrow besides. for a key to un-
lock it.
Whitrtdge had spent hours over the
composition Of this jingle and was very
proud Of it. He was quite astonished
rr,Hn $fn ~
scratched in few moments this im-
promptu:
There's many girl. when embarked on
LIES stream,
Which has been till the moment sweet
summer dream,
Will find when too late that her fancy
has led her
To plunge In the waves in a desperate
header.
Whitridge was falling in love with
out knowing it. That's the reason he
was becoming more bitter every time
he met Miss BEDFORD and finging his
vituperations at her only to have them
flung back with interest.
Then Miss BEDFORD fell i'll. Whit
ridge felt sorry for her, SO he sent her
some flowers. On the card accompany
ing them he wrote:
When a maiden is sick and deprived of
her powers,
A friend may console with a few simple
flowers.
When wife is struck down and her ILL
| ness has locked her
| At home, her poor husband must pay for
a doctor.
To which Miss BEDFORD responded:
Thanks; wife in poor health must slave
on like Niger"
| While her masters food craving grows
bigger and bigger.
| When husband the presence Of pain is
deploring,
He keeps up an uproar of bowling and
roaring.
| And SO the courtship went on. Miss
BEDFORD regained her health and Mr.
Whitridge was delighted. The men al
his club declared that during her i'll
ness he had been insufferable, but since
her recovery he was never at the club.
Then Whitridge fell Ill himself. He
had an attack of bronchitis which con
fined him to his room in bachelor
apartment house. Day after day, week
after week, he stayed there alone. Miss
BEDFORD sent him some jelly, but
bachelors don't care for such food, ant
/ he gave it to the janitor's wife. Miss
BEDFORD did not send him any dog
i gerel; she knew he was without sym
/ pathy and refrained. At last, aftel
months Of confinement, the invalid's
| resolution broke down, and he made
| the following plant. which he sent by
messenger to Miss Redford:
In a home there are kids to be constantly
squalling,
A woman dissa tisfied caudles appalling.
1 There are servants to leave without evel
warning,
Their fellows the offers of housekeeper.
{. scorn1ng.
There are bills coming in and funds grow
ing smaller,
The kids likewise growing expensivel,
/ taller.
ones Joys are divided, and yet ever,
trouble
In the family state must loom up as {
double.
But give me all this for pair Of sof
e.