davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
All Fools Day.

This Is the fete day of the King of Fools
1t is the day of joy for the practical joker
the day of sorrows for the guleless and the
innocent, the confiding and the unsuspi-
cfous. From time immemorial this first
or April has been regarded as a day of
license for prankers and tricksters. The
origin of the custom of playing jokes on
others on April Is lost in the obscurity of
conflicting traditions One theory is that
1t was in the beginning a form OF seasonal
festival, welcome to the spring the cere-
monials typifying the uncertainties and
freakishness of the weather. Another
theory Is that 1t was a popular religious
demonstration to ridicule the mockery trial
or Christ. But some delivers into folklore
assert that they have found that the people
OF Hindustan play similar tricks upon each
other at the annual hull festival, on the
31st of March. This suggests the seasonal
celebration, but 1t throws doubt upon the
religious origin of the custom. One author
ity believes that the april foor' customs
descend from traditions about the deluge
when the foolish were left to the pelting
of the pitiless rain. The early April fool
practices in Europe were harmless, though
very embarrassing and provoking to the
victim. He was usually made to do ridic-
ulous things, to go on silly errands and the
like. Modern ingenuity has devised many a
variation of the theme and actual suffering
is often the victims share of the prank
There are gratifying signs that the fool s
festival is falling into disrepute and that
the life of the nervous. sensitive or bashful
person is in the years to come not to be
made utterly wretched on this particular
day of the year
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Mr.. German and Czarism.

Senators Lodge and Dolliver have not
left much of Mr.. Germans latest ISSUE 1t
was not difficult, it is true, to dispose of
it, but they managed to do so smoothly
and skillfully. Each is a better speaker
than the Maryland senator, besides pos
sessing the advantages Of wider reading
and trained debating power.
Mr.. Germans embarrassments are APP
parent in nearly everything he does. He
got off on the wrong foot last November.
He missed the first stepping stone, and he
seems likely to splash clear across the
street. The opposition to the Panama canal
and the criticism of the navy were bad
enough, but fancy Mr.. German, of all our
public men, inveighing against czarism!
Digest, if one can while so much amused,
the Maryland senator's indignation at out
side interference with a body charged with
the duties of legislation! 1t seems like
joke and would be so accepted by the
country if Mr.. German had any reputation
as a humorist.
Why, it was only few months ago that
the Maryland legislature stood at attention
for days waiting for the word from Mr..
German about matter with which he
properly had nothing to do. The election
OF United States senator devolved upon
grimages to this town to confer with him
on the subject and took back views eX-
pressed by him. His principal lieutenant.
Mr.. Rasn of Baltimore, established head
quarters at Annapolis and pulled his chiefs
strings all through the race. Mr.. German
lost. but did his best to win.
Then came the suffrage measure, about
which Gov. Warfield held one view and
Mr.. German another. 1t was the gov
ernor's province to express himself to the
legislature in his message, and his duty to
examine any measure sent to him on the
subject. This he did and he disapproved Of
what had been done. Mr.. German, prop
erly, had no say at all. but he INDUCED in
one. and it is the generally accepted opinion
that the situation today, which is affront
to the governor by the legislature, expresses
the influence of Mr.. German exerted at
long range from this town.
Other instances could be cited showing
Mr.. Germans power at Annapolis, but
these two are sufficient to point the moral
and adorn the tale. How funny it is, then,
to hear these Nominations by the Mary
land senator against cZarism! But maybe.
in smiling aside, he will tell you that 1t js
a case of setting czar to catch a car.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Russia as a Watchdog.

Russia's latest warning about the Chinese
may cause slight shiver in Europe, but it
will raise no goose flesh on this side of the
water We are fairly familiar now with
Russia's methods, and are not to be taken
In either by her lectures or her cajoiery
Especially do We refuse to accept her as
1.-The solitary Watchdog of civilization in
the far east"
We have been asked to accept Russia as
the friend of freedom And yet we know
the story of Poland and the story of Fin
land. both crowded with tyranny and op
preston. not to mention conditions in Rus
STA proper. which for brutality and intol-
erance defy description. II there is any
freedom in Russia, or any feature of her
policy which points ultimately toward free
dom, then in this country we are ignorant
of what freedom is-are misadvised as to
our own aims and views and destiny. We
are on the wrong track.
Russia claims to be in Europe, as in
Asia, champion of civilization. And yet
We know what Russian life among the
masses is. We know the ignorance, stu
pidity and superstitious intolerance of her
people their filthy personal habits and
their hopelessness. We have noted the evil
dence among the upper classes of moral
rottenness, graft and heartless cruelty.
We know the spy system which encirces
the limited intellectual opportunities, and
how Intimately connected II Is with the
horrors of the Siberian mines What sort
of civilization is that which keeps the
people so close to the earth which makes
for Kishinef massacre which fills prisons
with the ambitious and the capable of both
sexes and which shows such backwardness
as compared with conditions in Germany,
and France and Great Britain?
Russia asks us to compare her Chris
tianity with Japan's "heathenism." We
need not do that. What we may do with
Justice and propriety Is to call attention to
the Japanese character, as shaped by jap
anese standards and Institutions. We find
in that country religious tolerance that
welcomes missionaries an excellent sys-
TEN of public schools, which gives educa-
ton to all classes; an intelligent kindly
people, of cleanly habits, both of person
and habitation, loving flowers and all that
is beautiful in nature and art, displaying a
reverent home life, the warmest affection
between parent and child, and manners of
finish and charm; a people characterized
by high courage, intense patriotism. a pas
sion for learning. and among whom is given
the greatest encouragement to all who as
pire. Can that be called "heathenism''-
something to be dreaded as a scourge?
No, we are not alarmed, and cannot be
thrown into panic by any racket that
Russia may raise about her enemies in
Asia. 1t would be strange. indeed, If she
had no enemies there. She has done ev-
erything to forfeit the confidence of China,
as she has forfeited that of Japan, and
her sins-something that happens to ma
tons as well as to individuals-are finding
her out Still, we hope for and expect
straightforward Chinese neutrality in this
war
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
The Advance to Lhasa.

While the Russians and the japanese are
operating rather mysteriously behind a
close veil of news censorship. the worlds
war interest shifts suddenly for tho present
TO one of the least accessible regions on the
whole sphere-the heart of the Himalaya
mountains on the border between India and
Thibet. 1t has been known for some months
that a British "expedtionary force" was
camping in Nepal just within the Indian
boundary, awaiting the result of diplomatic
negotiations and the advance of the season
for decisive movement to force the Thb-
etans to agree formally to respect certain
treaty obligations relating to trade. II has
furthermore been we'll understood that the
movement was actuated chiefly by political
considerations. apart from the difficulty of
holding the crafty Thibetans to their COM
mercIai agreements. The British government
has been well aware for long time that
Russian intrigue had reached Lhasa. the
forbidden capital Of Thibet. and there
working to the discontinue of the British.
Lord Curzon the other day in an official
speech at Calcutta. reviewing the British
position in Asia. compared the buffer states
surrounding India to the glacis of forti-
1cation, the external slope shielding the
guns. OF Thibet he said:
nave nv uSSiic " push On any "iieiV-
The history of the last five years has been
one of consolidation and restraint, but /
would suffer any imputation rather than
be- an unfaithful sentinel and allow the flu
ture Veace OF the country to be compro-
missed by entertainments from outside which
could only have ore meaning.
These words suggest that the British pol
icy is now we'll set toward the checking of
the Russian influence. The trades treaty Is
the pivot of the present situation. Upon it
may turn the consequent issue Of peace or
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Furnishing Corrupt Public Servants.

From the st. Louis Globe-Democrat.
When a representative of the people vio-
lates the law they look upon his conviction
with satisfaction, and with approval upon
the prompt enforcement of the penalty. In
such cases the betrayal Of the trust strikes
at the foundation Of free government as
well as defies the statutes. Bribery, If in
dulged, will surely sap any form Of consti-
tutional government. Venality in Office
where people are self-governing must be
stamped out or the state will travel the
road to ruin. False distinctions are always
attempted when such cases are exposed.
The official may claim that he has private
profession as well as public station. Any
person Of common intelligence can see
through the specious plea. Only a con-
science hopelessly blunted could fail to con-
denim the false distinction. An official who
takes pay to serve private interests in pub
lie business is a criminal under the law and
by the common judgment of honest citizen
shin,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Security.

Go to bed, sleepy head,
De wind will sing song,
De mOonbeam's watchin' by yoh bed,
An mullins goin wrong;
Amt no cause to stay awake
Like OIL folks sech as me,
Case no ones gwinter try to make
You mis- able, you see.
Go to bed. sleepy head,
De world was made fob you.
Yoh life is all befo' you spread
An friends Is fond an true.
De oil folks, dey's de servin' men
Dot trembles when you weep;
An watches till you smile again,
So, honey, go to sleep.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Hard Shedding for German.
From the Philadelphia Inquirer.

There was a time when Senator German
was considered a safe leader among the
democrats. His return to the United States
Senate was welcomed by an enthusiastic
democracy, but his reputation for sagacity
has been sadly riddled since then. Things
are not what they used to be. His leader
ship in the Senate has been full of mis-
takes He has f1oundered around for issues
and has been unable to unite his party on
any of his propositions. If he has suffered
in the Senate he has also been in continual
hot water in Maryland. He failed to elect
a colleague to the Senate, and his forces
were overwhelmed. He split with the demo-
cratic organization of Baltimore. Now he
is antagonized by the governor.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
An Audacious Wish.

81 wish my father was Mormon" said
the incorriGible infant.
How can you say such a thing?'' asked
the aunt.
Because Mormons sometimes have such
large families that they can't remember all
the children's names. much less punish
EN-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
A Cynical Suggestion.

$50 that young woman has Tilted you,"
said Miss Cayenne.
Yes" answered the confiding young man.
And you are suffering acutely from re-
gret?"
II am"
We'll, cheer up. If she had accepted you
1t might have become a chronic attack of
regret"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Village of New York.

From the Mexican Herald
New York stu cherishes few horse cars.
This gives mere villages the lead over the
big town.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

A number of American light opera COM
posers have been refused membership in
the French society of composers. However,
they have benefited sufficiently by the sug-
gestions of Offenbach and Audran to COM
pensate them for the absence of further
Partisan fayors
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
A Question.

A man against the trusts may rail
And citicise the game;
Yet, when chance offers, does he fail
To do the very same?"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Play Safe.

From the Columbus (Ga.) Enquirer-Sun.
This is not the time for the nomination
of southern man for the presidency but
1t is the time for southern democrats to de-
mand that safe. sound and conservative
man be nominated.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

Judge Parker stands a good chance Of
reaping the reward of the man who is will
ing to help along the interests of his party
without assuming to be boss.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

The charges and expressions of distrust
which are now passing among multi
millionaires would indicate some difficulty
in substituting the gentleman's agreement
for the mechanism of the trust.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

The st. Louis hotel keepers should be adj
nonished that they are in position to do
more than any one else to hurt the ex-
cSition
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

If Mr.. Cleveland declines to consider the
suggestion that he run for governor of
New Jersey perhaps some one will under
take to fit him out as justice of the peace.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

King Edward of England has nine auto
mobiles. King Peter Of Servia doesn't see
the necessity of wooing danger and ex-
citement in such an artificial manner.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Always Directors.
F,om the Boston Herald.

From the Boston Herald.
It's a solemn fact that Congress isn't yet
able to agree on bill to protect the life
of the President Probably it is safe to say
that q proposition to put premium on
assassination would bring out a minority
report.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

Russian newspaper writer refers 10 the
japanese as half-savages. Japan will no
doubt continue firm In It's refusal 10 spend
time in an exchange of epithets.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
SHOOTING STARS.
Never Catches Up,

Il begin to understand why Charley
always loses on the races" said young Mrs.
Torkins.
Indeed said the unsympathetic friend.
Yes. He is so busy explaining how he
lost the last race that he never gets time
to make proper calculations on the next"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

In private business or public affairs Mr..
Bryan seems to find few people who will
coincide with his views without protest
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

The Japs will see to it that General Kuro-
patkin does not have time for any after
dinner stories for WHILE
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

1t remains to be seen whether the rice
trust projected by John w. Gates will In
crease the Chinaman's expenses sufficiently
to advance the cost of laundry work.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

Radium may still be worth millions of
dollars an ounce. but it is not worth as
much a page In the magazines at it was.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

The phrase wise money is often heard
at the race track. 1t is never SO much in
evidence as the foolish money
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

Senator Burton's career oscillating as II
now is between the U. S. Senate and the
Jail is one of extraordinary contrasts.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

Look out fob de man dat axes yoh fob
advice said Uncle Eben. He won give
you no credit If things go right, but he's
mighty lible to hold you 'sponsible if dey
go wrong"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

Captain Hobson is in danger of suffering
the exhaustion which comes to a man who
overtaxes his versatility.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
Knows the Subject.

From the Spokane Spokesman.
Although now Secretary of War. Mr.. Taft
shows that he Is still interested in the Phil
ippfneS
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01

II Is a sign of civilization that the April
fool joke is not as prevalent as it used
to be-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
A Strong Voice.

From the Baltimore American.
The fresh shad man could easily secure .
place in grand opera.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-01
The National Anthem.

In a short time Benning will cease to be a
center of financial activity
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Greatly Inersa,ed Esper.s.

Exports Of manufactures in the cal
endar year 1904 will rot only exceed
the highest figures OF any earlier year
but may probably pass the 100000,
900 line, as against S4Si, 900. 900 in the
high-record year. the fiscal year 1900
$l51 100000 in 1890. Sl03,O 900 900 IN
1880. 6s,000.000 In 1870 and $4,000.
900 In 1850. Not only will manufac.
lures as a whole make their highest
record during the present year, but
this is also true OF iron and steel mar.
ufactures. which form the largest
group OF manufactures exported and
which seem likely to show for the cal.
endar year a total expectation of $3.50,
100000, as against 3l22 900. 900 in the
high-record fiscal year 1900, $4,000. .o0o
in 1880. $4,000 900 in 1850. $4,000. 900
In 1870 and $6.000,O 900 in 1860.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
English Marriage Rate,

The marriage rate is higher in Eng.
In most other countries it varies from
I to 10 1000. The highest birth
rate. according to a volume OF stats.
tics, referring chiefly to foreign couI-
tries. issued by the British Board OF
Trade. is In Roumania-30 1000.
That country also has the highest
death rate. 27.7 1000, The lowest
marriage rate is in Sweden. where it
is 9 a ZOO.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Strange Foods.
Certain

Certain Indians consider earth
worms a dainty. They are dried and
rolled together into peculiar flour
In Bahama and some of the Florida
keys the conch is eaten-by far the
toughest food known; more like India
rubber than anything else, having to
be beaten and pounded before it can
be Easticated or even cooked.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24

teen years l suf.
fered with terrible
pain in my back. I
did not know what
It was to enjoy a
nights rest and
arose in the morn.
ing feeling tired and
unrefreshed. My suf.
fering sometimes
was simply inde-
scribable. When |
finished the first
box of Doan's Kid
ney Pills | felt like
a different woman.
l continued until I
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Baeon's Prophetic Worss.

Roger Bacon u2li9D may have
foreseen the possibility of making
dynamite and other powerful explo
s!ves when he wrote the following
words: "A small portion of matter.
about the size OF the thumb. properly
disposed, will make tremendous
sound and coruscation. by which cities
and armies might be destroyed"
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Reads Like q Miracle.

Noravia. n. Y. Dec. l2th.-(sps.
ciaI-Bordering on the miraculous 10
the case Of Mrs. Benz. Wilson Of this
place. Suffering from Sugar Diabetes.
she wasted away till from weighing
200 lbs. she barely tipped the scales
at $50 lbs. Dodd's Kidney Pills cured
her. Speaking OF her cure her hus-
band says
MY wife suffered everything from
Sugar Diabetes. She was sick four
years and doctored with two doctors.
but received no benefit. She had so
much pain all over her that she could
not rest day or night The doctor said
that she could not live.
Then an advertisement led me to
try Dodd's Kidney Pills and they help
ed her right from the FIRST. Five
boxes Of them cured her. Dodd's Kid
ney Pills were 4 God.Sent remedy TO
us and we recommend them to all SUI.
fering from Kidney Disease"
Dodd's Kidney Pills cure all Kidney
Diseases including Brights Disease.
and all kidney aches. including Rhsu-
matism.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Turkish foundations.

Bibles and other books are difficult,
to distribute In Turkey, said a speak
or at Exeter hail. London. A work on
chemistry was rejected because Hso
1wator) was translated as "ilamid Sec
ond ls a nobody"
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
An Alaska Tundra.

A tundra. as 1t Is known in the Arc.
tics. is region marked by morasses
OF bog moss on which reindeer moss,
lichens and at times towering plants
abound. In summer tundras are i'm
passable, though the ground below a
depth OF two feet or so is frozen. but
in winter they can be crossed readily.
Owing to Increase OF thickness Of the
vegetable growths. their surfaces rise
gradually.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Every housekeeper should kno.

Every housekeeper should know
that II they will buy Defiance Cold
Water Starch for laundry use they
will save not only time. because IL
never sticks to the iron. but because
each package contains l6 Ozone full
pound-while all other Cold Water
starches are put up in y pound pack
ages. and the price Is the same. 10
cents. Then again because Defiance
Starch Is free from all injurious chem.
icals. II your grocer tries to sell you .
1907. package 1t is because he has
. stock on hand which he wishes to
dispose Of before he puts in Defiance.
He knows that Defiance Starch has
printed on every package In large let.
ters and figures &c ozs." Demand
Defiance and save much time and
money and the annoyance Of the Iron
sticking. Defiance never sticks.
Man proposes-but he doesn't do II
often enough to satisfy the fair sex
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
1auah, Carp Meaning Of Words.

A Spanish naturalist, DR.. Ribera.
has proved that fish can hear and dis
tinguish sounds and words. Conceal
ing himself behind a bush he tatsht
the carp in pond to come 10 the sur.
face for food every time he spoke a
certain sentence. To other words. not
associated with feeding, they paid no
attention.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Chinese Oress Coiors.

Any color or harmony of colors
may be used In the Chinese costume
except solid yellow. That color is re-
served for the robes OF royalty.
White enters not at all into the Chi
nese dress. that Is. In solid color. for
IL is Chinese mourning
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
criminality Of Professions.

A French professor has been inqulr.
ing into the comparative criminaii,y
OF the professions. He finds that the
convictions per 100000 OF each are as
follows: Lawyers. 100; artists, 80.
doctors. Is: lay teachers, 10: clerical
teachers, :: Catholic clergy. I.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Don't lie. the Year, Count.

Age will never succeed in retaining
n youthful appearance and mentality
until people make up their minds not
to lie, the years count-unrl they
cease to make the body old by the
constant suggestions OF the mind
Success Magazine.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Made Him Crazy.

A man has recently been sen, TO an
insane asylum Mt London because his
mind gave way after he had tried TO
solve several newspaper puzzles.
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Rarbers Graded PRICE,.

A traveller from the south OF France
tells of certain village there where
he discovered BARRIERS shop bear
Ing the following sign; Ordinary
shave. cents. careful shave, cents:
shave In which every care Is taken. 6
cents
The Monte Vista journal., 1904-12-24
Green Visible Altar on.

In clear weather and by daylight
green Is visible at the greatest dis
tance OF any color. much further. for
Instance. than scarlet. which Is usual
ly imagined to be the most brilliant
Of colors. Indeed. blue. and even
dark gray, are far more visible at n
distance than Is scarlet.