Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1904-12-06
gamnrous department.
IL Was His First.

II Was His First.
There lives in one Of the finest coun-
ties Of Kentucky an aristocratic old
gentleman, who. though brave at
time Of physical trouble, has never
succeeded in summoning sufficient
courage to shove himself into the
recklessness Of paying debt. Like
most men who are loose IN money
matters. he is Of exceedingly cheerful
disposition, and has been known to in
vite a bill collector into the room
which he termed the holy Of holes
derived from the fact that the colo
mel kept his liquors there), and regale
him with bourbon that had attained
a great age. But he would not pay the
bill.
Once the colonel was In debt to
grocer that lived in q neighboring VII
lage. He must have been new
conner, for none Of the "old-timers'
would trust the old gentleman. One
morning, just after the colonel had
taken his third julep and sat down on
the gallery to smoke, the grocer came
to the gate and shouted "aalloa!"
"Get down and come right In, sun"
the colonel called, getting UP and cor
daily advancing to meet the visitor.
81 am delighted to see you this
bright morning." said the host when
he had shown the grocer into the
house.
You don't know me, I reckon the
grocer responded. giving the old man
a peculiar look. out Of his keen eyes
Of trade.
"oh, most assuredly. You are the
grocer"
"You bet. Did you get that bill-or'
rather them twenty bills-I sent you?"
Il presume so, but cannot say pos
itively who sent them. I get so many
favors Of the kind that hardly know
whence they come. Let US go into the
holy Of holies."
mo, / reckon not. have heard Of
that ticker room an about you gittin'
folks drunk that go in thar, but I've
never hearn that a man what did go
in thar ever got the money comm to
him. I'm a man Of business and l
want my money without any palaver-
I'm. Do you understand
Perfectly, sub, and cannot blame
you. Business cannot be operated
without money"
But are you goin' to pay?
II can't pay you now?"
when can your"
Lets see; this Is the tenth Of the
month. amt it?"
That's what 1t is"
"Ah, ha, and tomorrow will be the
eleventh"
That's the size Of It."
well, you come round between the
eleventh and first of next month"
will you pay me then?"
mo, I don't think I shall"
"Then what's the use Of my comm? 2"
None that 1 can see. Didn't know
but you might be more willing to go
into the holy Of holies by that time"
Not much. What want is my
money and I'm going to have it or
know the reason why"
'I don't mind giving you the rea-
son. The reason appears to be that
you'll not get the money. Now, look
here: I have always made 1t point to
look with favor on the methods Of life
established by other men. You have
your rules and I have mine, but be-
cause our rules differ it is no reason
for us to fall out. One Of your rules
is to collect every cent that is due
you. All right. One Of my rules Is
not to pay a cent. All right"
mo, it's not all right--you bet your
life it amt. You've simply got to
pony up"
mo. thank you. BY the way. how
much do I owe you?"
"Ten dollars"
"a beggarly sum-"
"Why don't you pay 1t, then?
Because I don't pay beggarly sums"
You'll pay this ene."
POSSIBLY. by Cne way AGAIN, let
me give you a piece OF advice with
regard to that bill. Shall II"
Yes"
"Well, then, sue me-"
'Tn do 1t; you bet your life on that"
The grocer brought suit. The colo
mel promptly appeared. The case went
to trial and the grocer got judgment
for seven dollars.
81 want my money now,' said the
grocer"
And 1 want mine," the colonel re-
piled.
Yours? 1 don't owe you anything"
"Oh, yes. You see," the old man
added, "the courts many years ago
granted me a license as lawyer, and
I'll be hanged If you haven't given me
my first case. Here Is the license"
why, 1 haven't given you a case"
"Oh! yes; I advised you to sue me
and you did so. My fee is ten dol
lars"
"Mr. Billings" said the judge (who
also owed the grocery, you will have
to pay the amount"
He did so, closed his store, shot the
Judges COW and ran away.