davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25
TO CORRESPONDENTS.

All communications for this paper should bs asseaA
panied By the name of the 1uthor not necSssafS se
pubicat bat evidence Of good faith on the par
of tina writer Write only side Of the papef %
particularly careful In giving and dates to asss
the letters and figures plain and distinct.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

The Standard Oil Company positive
ly denies that it is running America,
and a large majority Of the people
hope its denial is based on facts.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

1t is up to Grover Cleveland to
evolve something as a companion piece
to Mr.. Hays "fortuitous concourse OF
unrelated prejudices."
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25
SAD DAYS FOR MRS. LANGTRY.

OF the Thousands Who Worshiped Few
Come Near Her Now.
There was a time when Lily Lang
try had the world at her feet. Now
she is sorrowfully watching the sea Of
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

One reason why the people Of the
United States are anti-Russian is be-
cause the grip comes from that coun-
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25
STANLEY'S GRAVE.

Memorial MOnO1ith Marks Sleeping
Place of the Explorer.
A memorial monolith has been erect
ed in Pirbright churchyard over the
remains Of Sir Henry NJ. Stanley, the
famous and deseryedly great explorer
whom England nevertheless denied
tomb in Westminster Abbey. The
stone, which was erected at the solicit
tation of his wife, is twelve feet In
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

er. His course as premier has been
marked by profound wisdom and Q
progressive spirit that has redounded
to the incalculable benefit Of the peo'
pie in whose hearts he is enshrined.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25
No Crow for Hin,

Office Imp-Man outside says he has
crow to pick with you
Village Editor-Tell him I'm out
but that any time he brings a turkey
around to be picked he'll find me In.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25
Easier.

Rich but Indulgent Uncle-Harry.
my boy, give me list of the trades
men you owe.
Spendthrift Nephew Er-uncle,
here's list of the fellows don't owe,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

Z pretty girl doesn't have to propose
during leap year and homely one ID
afraid to-but there is the strenuous
young widow
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

A woman seldom loves her husband
enough to refuse to work him for the
benefit of her rela tons.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

Worse than IL l'oo rou b
The Lady-When / gave soid
pie yesterday l thought !oo
wouldn't come back any ii'0' III
The Hobo-Well, to tell uo ID as
lady, dat pie was not % u.onh,
Observation-Disclosures 1eiesi'f
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

A crying need of the Russian navy
80 officers who think with their head
pieces.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25
CANADA'S LEADING STATESMAN

Sir Wi1fred Laurier Trium plant In
the Recent Dominion Elections.
The commanding figure in Canada
to-day is Sir Wilfrid Laurier, the be-
loved premier of the Dominion, who
was triumphantly returned to power
in the recent overwhelming victory of
the Liberal party. Sir Wilfrid made a
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

When husband ana VIZ ~ task 70
OF one mind it isn't a dlfncu.. mod tbs
figure out which Originally
mind.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25

The single thought Of two souls al
ways has something to do with love In
a cottage.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-11-25
Aerial navigation begins to navigate.

II you want to fatter man tell him
he ID working too hard.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04

Representative Richardson Of Ten
nessee tells Of an old darby living
gear Nashville who. has according to
his theory. been dying for many. many
years. Notwithstanding his persistent
belief that he Is near deaths door.
this darby. Isaac Bolts by name. is
apparently as well and able-bodied to-
lay az he was forty years ago.
Recently. says sir. Richardson. Isaac
was seized with one III his spells"
4 week or so passed. but Isaac. &C
,oriing to his own statement. grew no
better One day n neighbor. in pass.
ing the Bolts dom'cile. CHANGED to oh
serve Mrs. Bolts standing at the gate.
How is Ike this morning. asked
the neichbOr.
Only tolable. only tol'a5le." replied
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04

and throwing bricks at those who
made n noise.
Shakespeare was quite a fellow in
his day. and knew almost as much as
a spouting police geyser; but he
neither knew nor anticipated the late
lamented Herr Wagner of Bayreuth.
Germany. Wagner was a man who
had lot OF music in himself. but he
failed to keep il in. Music worked in
his system like steam; and when 1t
broke out Il made trouble. Wagner
tried his music on his chum. luna
tic and king: and If he was pleased.
It was considered proof that the rest
Of us would want Il. / am rather shy
about saying much about Wagner: ev-
cry fellow that plays a fiddle, or a
mouth organ. or a cornet. or forty
aves. thinks it's up TO him to defend
him: and you are pretty sure to be
called names and accused of Anarchy
Ind beating your wife II you rouse
the Wagnerites. Under the circum-
stances. IL Is just as well to be ju-
1icious and speak soft and low.
Sone people understand Wagner:
some try to understand him; some
pretend to- understand him: while a
vast. vulgar. ignorant majority can
neither stand nor understand him. |
suppose / am numbered among the
last lot: and. while | am willing TO
coacede that Wagner Is great. prefer
Sousa. Crcatore and rag-time. Con.
fidentinlly. | think he was born too
soon and died too late.
The easiest way to distinguish
real Wagrcrite from the imitation Is
to hear them pronounce the great
mans name. The real things call
him vogner: the Britannia metal
Wegnerites call him Wagner. or just
Waggoncr. II they are lately from
Cheyenne.
When man has a wife who can
cut frills on n pianola. or who wants
to be in the swim. he Just naturally
has to get down in his pocket once in
n while and dig mp a couple of fiyes
to put the Wagner trust on Easy
street. As have said. don't really
enjoy Wagner: but in the end il is
easier and cheaper to take four hours
Of the great Germans spasms than
four weeks OF your wife's obligatos in
c sharp. Four weeks Of domestic
harmony is cheap at $40: a divorce
will cost more than that.
The last time | sampled wasner's |
wares it was under domestic duress;
and the particular riot which | en-
lured was called the valkyries. There |
were several characters in it who re-
minded me of certain statesmen; they |
had large voices. long whiskers and
peculiar garments. These people
iidn't make much trouble. though |
somewhat clamorous: and they had a
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
to Ragtime.

were chased off by the scene shifters:
and though l was dead tired and
stone deaf | went out and tackled
Holsters and Welsh rabbits in a res
taurant and cheerfully faced night
mares. knew when / got the night
mare I'd forget the Valkyries.
In my time have faced "Tannhaus-
err" 'Lohengrin" and other Wagneri-
an things; and it looked as If 1 might
like other weak sisters pretending to
be enraptured every time a bull fiddle
fell foul of base drum; but. after
the Valkyrie campaign l threw up my
hands and abandoned Wagner. This
is shameful confession to make. and
sense. / am willing to admit the trot-
BILE lies with me. not Wagner; / have
not been trained up to him; and
have neither money, nor strength
enough to try. | was not distressed
when Boston refused to give up its
dividends to Herr Conried; l was
proud to know Boston could control
itself even in the face of Wagner; and
was secretly and vulgarly happy
when Conried and his Yalkyries start
ed for Chicago. where they are ac-
customed to cyclones and explosions.
Outside of the music drama, like
Germans and things German; some
day I'm going over to Germany to see
where the frankfurters, hofbrau and
bull fiddles grow: and I'm going to
look up Herr Wagner's grave. II
they have a marble monument on his
chest and his tomb cemented and
copper-riveted shall rejoice. I'd like
to come back with the certain knowl
edge that he can't get up and start in
again making raw material for brass
bands, hand organs and Valkyries. 7
don't want his sacred remains dis
turbed.
When the last day comes. and peo-
pie are slow in responding. know
where Gabriel can get first-class as
sistant to rouse the sleepers and wake
the dead: but until that day, hope no
vandal hand will monkey with the
great mans tomb.-Joseph Smith in
Boston Herald.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
QUEER BELIEFS OF eUsHMEN.
Their Notions About Many simP's
Things Are Vague.


Things Are Vague.
The bushmen of Africa have a
quaint belief. according to a recent
book. that the world was made by a
spirit with his left hand-so unsatis-
factory piece of work is il. The no.
lions about astronomy are many and
curious. including the familiar one
that the old moons are cut up IT -
stars; but" as an old man told ".
Kidd. the author. eve are only blaci
men. and know very little about thess
things" The natives are very re-
spectacle to snakes, which they be-
lieve to be a revivified form of their
ancestors backbones. They are afraid
TO look into deep pools lest monster
should lay hold of their shadows and
drag them into the water: and they
dread being photographed, on the
medieval ground that If any enemy
gets hold of your portrait he can work
you all sorts of harm through its
agency. OF course there are witch
doctors and rain doctors-most OF
whom. by the way, come to violent
ends at the hands of a disappointed
populace-and in Zululand the women
sometimes bury their children up to
their necks in the ground in the ex-
pectation that the heavens will melt
with tenderness at the noise t.sy
make.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
Worth Livinu For.

The late DR.. Butler OF Hartford,
Conn, gave as an illustration of tie
necessity of giving restoratives eves
to those apparently almost dead Us
leaf from his experience:
'Old Aunt Sally was dying and be;
been talking about her hopes OF
heaven. At the same time | was a.
ministering a few drops of brandy
and water in a teaspoon. In soots-
ing voice (referring to her crossing
the riverl / said: And how does Il
seem, Aunt Sally
THE old woman slowly opened oes
eye. and winking at me. replied:
Its liclin' good. doctor
Il gave her the contents OF .As
glass. and she lived several years."-
New York Times.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
SCOTT LOVED BY ANIMALS.
Dumb Pets Particular Fondness for
Great Author.

Great Author.
Somewhat akin to the story of the
pony and the pig in the Spectator of
March IL is the following narrative
in the life of Sir Walter Scott, illus
trating his fondness for animals and
their attachment to him. / find it in
volume entitled Stories OF Remark
able Persons" by the late DR.. William
Chambers, who gives Sir Walters
son-in-law, Lockhart, as voucher for
the authenticity of the story:
AT Abbotsford, in the autumn of
1920, when a large party. including Sir
Humphrey Davy, DIR. Wollaston and
Henry Mackenzie were sallying out
Scott on his pony. with Mazda gam
boiling about him-there was some
commotion and laughter when it was
discovered that little black pig was
frisl1ing about and apparently resolved
to be one of the party for the day.
Scott tried to look stern. and cracked
hts whip at the creature, but was in a
Dmoment obliged to join in the gener-
cheers. Poor piggy was sent home.
liz pss. says Loekhart, had taken.
nobody could tell how, most senti-
mental attachment to Scott, and was
constantly urging his pretensions to
be admitted a regular member OF his
tail along with the greyhounds and
terriers; but. indeed, ! remember him
suffering another summer under the
same sort of pertinacity on the part of
an affectionate hen. | leave the ex-
PLANTATION for philosophers-but such
were the facts. "-London Spectator.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
HUMBLE CRITIC
WRITES OF
WAGNER'S MUSIC

When Shakespeare wrote The man
that hath no music in himself. nor is
moved with concord of sweet sounds.
. fit for treasons. strategems and
spoils." he lived in an age that knew
only flutes and lutes of that inoffen-
'ive sort: an age when people who
sang only carolled and trolled about
lowers and love and shepherdesses.
Shakespeare never heard piano. nor
German brass band; nobody had in
vented operas. comic or explosive; it
was not considered bad form to ad-
mire ballad; and no one was expell-
ed from society or considered ignor.
ant and nncouth for liking a melody
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04

the flddles and bassoons until the roof
quivered. As 1 understand it, the Val
kyries were the Carrie Nations of
ancient Germany. who were trained
TO. hover over battlefelds, keeping
tabs on the patriots who went to the
front too much: and when these he
roes were knocked out by the hated
foemen. the Valkyries swooped down
on them and hustled them OFF to a
sort of post-mortem reservation,
called yalhalla. where the departed
patriots sat around drinking beer and
Dragging about their war records. A
patriot and hero would have to be
very dead to enjoy the company of
these shrinking young ladies'; for. as
they fioated around in the atmosphere
on broncoes waiting for a chance to
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
u Was Wished On.

Johnny's sister has a ring that
Johnny is very fond of. He is allowed
to wear it sometimes for an hour or so.
when he has been very good. or has
promised to be. One day he sud
denly found that he wanted to wear
that beautiful little gold band, and
so he informed his sister. She wasn't
just in the mood. so she told him, as
he insisted. that she couldn't take it
on because it was wished on" John
ny said little and thought much. and
the next afternoon. when his sister
had callers he rushed in and pumped
down on an ottoman in the middle
OF the room.
Johnny" reminded his sister.
your cap. dear
oh" returned the boy. innocently.
II can't take il of. Sis: it's wished
on"
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
Tired of the Delay

Mr.. Bolts better half. a weary expires.
sion coming into her face.
That's too bad" responded the
neighbOr. sympathetically: Il had
hoped he would he well by this time.
He Is no worse?"
No. he amt no worse. went on the
wife. dejectcdly. an at de same time
he amt no better. It's allus dis way.
F'ust he's worse an den he's better.
Den he's worse agin. Allus dis way.
Pom man SOUL honey. ole Bolts been
doin' dis wa eversince | kin remem-
her
Then. after n long pause, as il in
deep reflection. the darky's wife add.
ed in plaintive tone:
Honey. do wish ole Bolts nd do
somethin' definite,"- New York
Times.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
The Difference in Mankind.

There's men and men," said Tom
my the Tout, when he got back to
Broadway from Jamaica the other
day. Just to show you. take Bill
Daily and Bud May. Pa wins two
races with DAILY and Amberjack. and
I'm broke. l know him and need
dollar. Thinking he ought to stand
for a touch | asks him for PUNK.
az amt got dollar in change.
says he. but here's dime can let
you have.
II needed money bad. and when
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
DESERVED TO SELL SAFE.
Story in Itself Was Well Worth an
Order


Order.
Robert NJ. McLane. the mayor OF
Baltimore. said the other day:
Naturally. since our devastating
fire, the statesmen of safes have been
doing a rushing business here.
Il am told that two safe statesmen,
representing rival firms, called stimuli
taneously on a business man one
morning last week. The first sales
man said:
To demonstrate the quality of our
safes, 1t is our custom to put cat in
one of them, to lock it. to build a
great fire around 1t, and to leave Il in
the flames for twenty-four hours. At
the end of the twenty-four hours we
open the safe and the cat leaps out,
unframed
Wonderful, said the merchant.
Wonderful
The second salesman spoke up.
We once put a cat in a safe of
ours he said, and kept II surrounded
with fire for a week. At the end OF
the week what condition do you sup
pose the cat was in?'
DeadT said the merchant.
Yes, dead said the salesman
But do you know how it died?'
No. How?'
at froze to DEATH"
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
Words for Ordinary Purposes.

THE small number OF words actu-
ally necessary for ordinary purposes
in our everyday life is surprising. and
nothing illustrates this better than
the limited vocabulary Of a little
chfld,' Dc. NJ. Harris said. Il have
> daughter years old. She is able to
rake al her wants known, to talk
{rce1y and easily. II an adult knew
~ NE number of words in a for
11w tongue that she knows in her
4xu be would be able to get along
cnly II : conversational way with
~Io Who spoke nothing but that
@unGe. What the child's vocabu-
II ecmprises, how many words and
1T classes I recently made it my
80 % ascertain In q series of
1UnfjOns extending over a con-
~ Deriod Of time. I found that
number Of words she knew
~ wns Just 352. emitting. proper
md that "a per cent OF these
11ns. Is per cent verbs and IL
111octIyes, the remainder be-
D ~ Of conjunctiors, preposi-
D1onouns" -St. Louis Globe
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
Fastener Complains He Purchased
Domestic Harmony at Frightful
Cost-Hereafter Will Stick
to Ragtime.

rather easy time trying not to fall in
love with stout. elderly and shop
worn princess or prCahetess. who was
lovely enough to stop a clock in any
climate. or drive the east wind out of
Boston.
The real things in this music drama
-Wasner's things are not OPP
eras or opuses-were lot
of strong. strenuous young wom-
en- arrayed in nighties and cam
goads. who butted in periodically with
gesticulations and shrieks, while the
conductor out in front threw fits,
fought with his baton and worked up
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
WOULD NOT BE LIoNizEp.
British Admiral Cared Little for New
York Society.

ofi1fon StuUllTdt SdtCu We"
York Society.
There was some disappointment
among the younger members of the
Aston set in New York when Admiral
Sir Cyprian Bridge. X. C. B.. refused
to permit himself to be lionized in a
social way. The admiral belongs to
that type of naval martinez which
believes exclusively in a gunpowder
diet as a necessity and combing bull
lets out of the hair after battle as a
diversion. He is Chesterfield in po-
likeness, but has rather cynical man
ner with women. His detestation of the
American who apes English manner
isms is so marked that he becomes al
most rude in rebuke. He made the
usual conventional call at the British
embassy when he vas in Washington,
but in his brief stay in New York he
could not be persuaded to make more
than one or two calls.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04

drag out battered patriot they made
roise enough to make a ID. A. r. con-
yention seem like prayer meeting in
comparison.
The night sat shuddering at this
shrieking sisterhood FRITZ Scheff was
one of the valkyries; but as she
eloped from Wagner shortly afterward
and went into comic opera and brief
clothes. imagine she was cloyed by
Wagner as much as | was. The diff
ference between us was she was paid
to yell at me; and | paid to hear her
yell. Men are dead easy.
/ was glad when 1t was over. when
these shr!ekins Sutherland sisters
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
Costly Railroad Tunnel.

One million dollars a mile is ths
estimated cost of constructing a tun-
mel. four miles in length. on the line
of the new Moffat railroad. from Dem
yer, Colo. to Salt Lake City. Utah.
Contractors hesitate about bidding for
the work, because of the hardness OF
the granite through which the tunnel
must be bored. Sticks of dynamite
make little impression on the rock.
and the railroad company, itself. may
have to build the tunnel.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
Death of Famous conjurcr.

Herr Dobbler. the famous sconjuror,
died in Aberdeen recently. He was
on the stage forty years. 1t was he
who. in 1864 exposed the Davenport
Brothers. who had pretended that
their tricks we're supernatural mari
festations.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04

butts into May makes up my mind
to try him. but Major Pelham had
been beaten out and didn't want to
make It too strong. 80 all asks for is
4 quarter.
~ haven't got quarter. Tom
says he. but here's 81. if it's all the
same to you New York Times.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
ReInium and French Coal.

The output of coal in both France
and Belgium last year was greater
than ever before. that Of France be
ing 3S.000.000 tons and that OF Bel
GUM $4,000. 900 tons.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
AGED London Actor.

Herman Vein of the Court Theater.
London. is rs years of age, and still
playing. He is a graduate OF the Uni
versity of Pennsylvania. although Eng.
lish born.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1904-06-04
Prize for Cactus Exterminator.

The government of Queensland Of
fers prize of $4,000 for a method of
exterminating the opuntia. species
of cactus imported from America.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1904-11-29

aiiifufor6olbene / bette @rbperp CT
bafentlig anberlebes enO / be Gr,
bperp, Der ubfpres paa 2anbjoroen,
% ba Sgfarten arbeioer unoer meget
panfteIige ptonomifte 5orbolo, er
Der 9runb til / bette 9ilf9los ct
dnben6e flor 6oriigtisbeO peb SAT-
Ipttelfen At ben Del at Sprben, fom
ital bares At QrbeibseiOerne. 0ette
bliper bet oct neoIatte rbbalgs Sag
at orbne.
Oct onbet 5oriIag er bet at 9rds
itminiiteren fremiatte 5orilug ON
0pbapelie At be nuberenbe Sernb1-
nefomnisIarier, Der er bOniOrarlsns
nenoe Stiainger. % 4niettelfe al
10 fdfe Gmbebsm9no iom Statsns
5%ilinnsmano meo Sernbunerne.
@runben til bette 9obforIIog er life,
at BET nubarenbe 3iIIpn er utilfreos
itilenoe pou anoen Wuaoe, enb at
ooffiaige mener. at De nuperenOe Sn-
be6abere AT bisie Better tiener for
megst. 5inansuopalget bar imiOler=
It'd qar efter 4ar ubtuIt 2nftet ON
en- 5oronoring. "a Miniiteren bar
efterfommet 9nItet. Miniiteren me-
ner meb Rette. at oisfe 9oiter er Icl
betpbeligt, at tai De beitribes til
freosftiaenbe. ma De beiGttes mco
frrite Ranqs arafter, og iuu bliOer
bet. Der fan Ipares. temmelig for
foinoenbe.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1904-11-29

6ergen git ftrat8 poa
q runo. Den 3. Qop. Ituloe ifelgs
,,Gsbisrs @p." en- nh Serge inOoies
paa 8uten Gsbierg-5ans, og / ben
N%nleoning bar Der 8ilbe paa ct so.
tsl / Gsbjerg for 5preren, Gierne NJ.
e. Smens iuIbe Stnrmanosn fsre
ret npe 5artpi paa 5uren. Dan
latte ben imibleytio poo grunb /
6apneu og MATTE blibe ban9enbe
Der 6ele Gftermiooa9en. 0pre pei
Sans Itco 5oIt og pentebe paa at
tomme oper til Gsbierg, oe ba be-,
paa BEN Sibe er meqen R~isfornejeli,
meo BEN mp9renoe 0rbning al Scr
aeiarten, ian bet n~oaenlunbe tantes,
6ooroon Stemningen bar.