davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

An old farmer said to his sons: Boys,
don't you wait for somethin to turn
up. You might jest as we'll go and sit
down on stone in the middle of a
meadow with pail 'twixt your legs
and wait for a cow to back up to you
to be MIXED
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

The little daughter of we'll known
New York musician was much cha
grined the other day by the ingenious
remark Of a new friend Said the
little girl proudly:
"My father is an Organist"
'And does he have monkey?" was
the prompt rejoinder.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
DispOsinE of Papa.

81 always contend, sir" said the girls
father meaningly, that young men
should be in bed before 1920 each
night"
'Yes?" replied the young man who
was calling on the girl II hope you
set that good example yourself, SIR
Philadelphia Ledger.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
More to- the Point.

Hicks--I suppose you heard that our
house was robbed?
Wicks-Yes | understand the way
the thieves ransacked the place simply
beggared description.
Hicks-Not only that, but it very near
~ beggared me.-Exchange.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
His Disappearinr Pulse.

"My"' exclaimed the doctor you've
hardly any pulse today!'
"Well, don't you remember doctor"
replied the patient. you took it when
you were here yesterday ?"-Yonkers
tatesman.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
AS wasps Do.

Jinks-T'll never get into an argument
with him again. He's entirely too bit
ter.
Winks-Is he really?
Jinks-Oh, regular wasp.
Winks-I see. He always carries his
pOint-Catholic Standard.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
Three Men.

There are three sorts OF men in the
world-three. and no more And Of
women only one. There are happy
men and there are knaves and fools.
Hybrids don't count. And to my
mind knaves and fools are very much
alike.-"LOve and Mr. Lewisham."
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

'You think great deal Of your hus-
band. don't your said the visiting
relative.
'.You have the wrong proposition"
answered Mr.. AIeekton's wife, with the
cold tones Of the superior woman. Il
think for him" Washington Star.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

Lord Braxfield admitted the abilities
of criminal who was undoubtedly an
accomplished murderer, for the Judge
said, "Y're a clever chiel, but VII be
name the waur of a hanging, my man"
Hard Scotch.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

Rivers was smoking cheap cigar.
Seems to me-" said Brooks. II smell
something like cloth burning"
But Rivers was game.
He touched the lighted end of his
cigar to bis shirt sleeve.
mo wonder" he said, exhibiting the
burned spot-Chicago Tribune.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
Worth Striving For.

She-And you don't think there is a
chance in the world Of our living
through our lives without a quarrel?
He-There is always a fighting chance,
flear-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
stopped Gambling.

Blunt hear Blones has stopped
gambling.
Front That's true. bet him 500
this morning that he couldn't stop.
and he took me up.-Yonkers Herald. :
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
Novelty Excited Curiosity

Owtlaight-I had an awful time
thinking up an excuse to give my wife
when | got home from the club last
night
Lushman-Did she demand one?
Owtlaight-Of course. l got home so
early that it piqued her curiosity.-Ex-
change.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23
The Sophisticated Wife.

The SOPh1St1c0te0 WIFE,
Mr.. Newrich Gn city)-Mariar, pass
them beans.
Mrs. Newrfch-Don't be absurd,
Frank. Them's salted ammons.-Penn-
sylvania Punch Bowl.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

He who has no vision Of eternity will
never get true hold of time.-CarlyIe.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

Unusual.
Old Chum-What made you decide to
marry her?
Newly Married-Because during our
long acquaintance she never once sent
me a sofa pillow.-DetrOit Free Press.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

characterization has ruined many a
mans chances in fe.-Schoolmaster.
Morris tribune., 1904-01-23

SMITH & BEISE,
Attorneys for administrator.
First Jan.9-last Jan. 24l
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
E0r Weak. Lanauld People

Weak, sickly people often remark
"if could only get something that
would nourish me and give me
strength" they do not know why.
but the food they eat is of no benefit
to them, they gain no flesh and feel
no stronger. The fact is the stomach
is too weak to perform its work. and
the little appetite they once had is
soon gone. The blood becomes more
thin and watery, bringing on faint
sick spells with loss of memory and
ambition. There is remedy for all
this that acts in the right way. 1t is
called DR.. Gums Blood and Nerve
Tonic, and is sold by all druggists for
75c. per box, or boxes for 81. II
turns the food you eat into rich, red
blood, making flesh and strength,
creating an appetite because the sys-
tenn demands sustenance. For sale
by f. G. Shepherd. druggist.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
WEDDING WAS SURPRISE.
Miss Mary Noye and Mr.. Charles
Dyche Married in Washington.
GROOM A CITY MAIL CARRIER
And The Bride a Popular Young Lady Of
Marfinsburg Miss kyner and Mr..
Blue United Thursday Night.

Miss Mary Noyle, of West Race
street, aud Mr.. Charles Dyche, OF
West Burke street, were married in
Washington Thursday evening. The
news of the marriage came as sur.
PRISE to their many friends in this
city, although their intentions were
surrnised by some. Mr.. and Mrs.
Dyche spent few days in the
east before returning to this city,
whe they will reside.
Porh are well known residents of
this city and have many friends, who
will wish them much happiness. Miss
Noyle has been for some time making
her home with the family of 3frs.
Katharine Friskey on West Race
street, while Mr.. Dyche is one of the
city mail carriers.
Miss Noyle, in company With Mr..
Dyche, left here on Sunday for Wash
inton, where she remained. while he
returned home that night. Thursday
he left for Washington, where he met
his intended bride, and soon after
they were married.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
BLUE-K YNER.

Miss Nellie q. Kvner, daughter of
Mr.. and Mrs. A. X Kvner, of this
county. and Mr.. james G. Blue, of
Jefferson county. were the principals
in pretty wedding at the home of
the BRIDES parents in Arden district
on Tuesday evening. The cerem ony
was performed in the presence of a
large number Of friends and relatives
of the contracting couple, BY Rev.
Sampssll, pastor of the United Bre-
thren church at Jones Spring
A reception was rendered after the
of manv presents and showers of con-
graduation. Mr.. and Mrs Blue will
reside in Jefferson county.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
RURAL FREE DELIVERY.
SERVICE TO BA COMPLETELY RE-
ORGANIZED ON JULYI.
Appropriation tor the Coming Year
VIII Reach Many Millions, with
"a Probable Deficiency.


The rural free delivery service is to
be completely reorganized, the changes
to go into effect on July /. The pay
of the carriers will be increased, hut
they will not be permitted to act as
agents for newspapers or Other bust
ness ventures.
The number of divisions of the rur-
al service will be cut down from eight
to six, and the number of route in-
spectors or rural agents. whose bust
ness it is to inspect proposed routes
and report on their necessity. will be
reduced by "a, so that hereafter there
will be onlv 1912 rural agents.
There will not be SO many rural
routes established in the new fiscal
wear as heretofore. The appropriation
for tia rural service for the next veal
is $50, 773, 700, but the increased pay OF
the carriers will use much of this
sum.
1t is expected that pew routes will
be established during the next fisca
year at the rate of about GOO month
and even at this reduced rate the ell
tire sum of money available under thu
appropriation will have been, practic
ally exhausted by the time congress
meets next December, and def
cheney appropriation will be reonir
ed
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
REPUBLICANS ELECT ONE
Democrats Elect DR.. Mingblnl
Mayor by Large Majority.
CARRY FOUR OF FIVE WARDS
Spir,ied Contests Result in Decisive Demo
cratic Victory and Complete Control Of
hiarinsburg by That Party.

The democrats made practically
clean sweep in the municipal election
held here Monday. electIng DR.. w.
E. Miuenini for mayor over Mayor
George f. Evans. republican. BY the
handsome majority Of l0S in total
vote Of / ,6s4, and also electing fcnr
out Of five councilmen in the various
wards of the city.
The election in every ward Of the
CITY disclosed manv elements OF sur
prise, chief among which was the
large vote polled. despite the seeming
apathy which reigned everywhere
except in the Third The total vote
(i,664J was the largest ever polled at
q municipal election in Martinsburg,
and shows that the apathy reported
everywhere was only on the surface,
and that there was an. undercurrent Of
deep interest among all classes OF pee
pie.
Another surprise was the bid ma
jority rolled no by DIR. Minghini.
Democrats all over the city expected
and worked for his election, but it is
doubtful if even the most sauenine
anticipated that he woaid be chosen
over Mayo Evans by margin of l08
yotes. Two wears ago Mr.. Evans was
elected over Mr.. Crawford by SO. and
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28

his friend and supporters were conf
dent that we Wonld be reelected by
good -, jo'i'v. r0e contest between
the two ranaid t. for mavor was a
very warn Oie, flthuugh rather quiet
" conducted. as 'nth men and their
friends V"-e active until tie polls
were closed The result clearly dem
onstra-es that the psoole wanted a
chang ana wanted il so badly thar
they we're Hing to turn the whole
thing ~~er ~ the democrats by ma
jori'ies so decisive that there could
be no doubt Of their intentions.
Wren the last returns were in and
il was seen that D.. Minghini would
be the next mavor of Martinsburg.
manv called AT the residence OF the
successful candidate and warmly con-
graduated him on his splendid victory.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
CAPT. COLSTON IS CORONER.
WAS APPOINTED LAST FRIDAY To
THE OFFICE BY COUNTY COURT.
Other Business Transacted at the Meet
ing of the County Com missioners
at the Session Friday.

The members of the County court
convened Friday in special session
and the following is the business that
was concluded:
The court. as petitioned, ordered
that wing wall be built for the pro-
lection of the bridge at Myers ford.
Road Superintendent Portertield
was notified to make some needed re-
pairs to the Schoppert's ford road.
w. B. Colston was appointed cor.
oner of Berkeley county to fill vacancy
caused by resignation of Thomas
Kearns.
Mrs. V. d. Goulden was appointed
administratrix for the estate of the
late A. ). Goulden, and the following
were appointed appraisers l.. Dew.
Gerhardt, Edward Rutledge, j. O..
Hutzler and q. A. Young.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
Not a Sick Day Since .

Il was taken severely sick with
kidney trouble. tried all sorts OF
medicines, none of which relieved me.
One day saw an ad. of your Electric
nitters and determined to try that.
After taking a few doses ! felt re-
lieved, and soon thereafter was en-
tirely cured, and have not seen sick
day since. Neighbors of mine have
been cured of Rheumatism Neuralgia,
Liver and Kidney troubles and Gem
eral Debility" This is what B. F..
Bass, of Fremont, N. c., writes.
Only SOC. at all druggists.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
Disastrous Wrecks /.

Carelessness is responsible for many
q railroad wreck and the same causes
are making human wrecks of suffer-
ers from Throat and Lung troubles.
But since the advent of DR.. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption.
Coughs and Colds, even the worst
cases can be cured, and hopeless res
ignation is no longer necessary. Mrs.
Lois Cragg of Dorchester, Mass, Is
one of many whose life was saved by
DR.. Kings New Discovery. This
great remedy is guaranteed for all
Throat and Lung diseases by all drug
gists. Price soc. and s1.00. Trial
hottlas free
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
LADY THROWN FROM BUGGY,
Mrs. &c. l.. shriver and Daughter suffer
Injuries Friday Afternoon.

Mrs. Edgar l.. Shriever and daugh-
ter, Miss f. Estella O'Neal, of West
Race street, had narrow escape from
serious injury in the country Fri
day afternoon, when the horse that
they were driving became frightened.
throwing them out. The ladies were
driving on the mountain road when
the horse ran away. The vehicle was
upturned in passing over an embank-
ment, and the occupants thrown TO the
ground.
Both were rendered unconscious fol-
some time, and were taken to the
home of Mr.. Thatcher where they were
revived and their injuries treated
Both of the ladies were badly bruised
while Mrs. Shriver had her left humt
broken. They were brought to theil
home in this city where medical at
tention was given, and are now resting
as well as can be expected.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
Ladies and Children

who can not stand the shocking strain
of laxative syrups and cathartic pills
are especially fond of Little Early
Risers. All persons who find 1t neces-
sary to take liver medicine should
try these easy pills, and compare the
agreeably pleasant and strengthening
effect with the nauseating and weak
ening conditions following the use of
other remedies. Little Early Risers
cure biliousness, constipation, sick
headache, jaundice, malaria and liver
troubles. Sold by G. w. Tabler, w.
S. Harper & Co.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
THANKS TO OUR CITIZENS.
ROUss HOOK AND LADDER CO, WIN,
CHESTER, EXPRESSED THANKS.
Say That the Martinsburg Fire Depart
ment and Citizens I'm General
Were HOspitable.

The offices of the Martinsburg fire
department are in receipt OF the fol-
lowing resolution of thanks from the
Rouss hook and ladder company, No
L., of Winchester
Whereas: we, the members of Rouss
hook and ladder COMPANY, No. /. hav-
ing visited Martinsburg during the
third annual convention of the Cum
berland Valley Volunteer Flremen's
association, held in your city on the
5, 6, and of May and were enter
tanned by the fire department aud cit
liens of Martinsburg in a most royal
manner, therefore be it.
Resolved, That we extend to the
fire department. and the citizens of
Martinsburg our most hearty thanks
for the kindness and hospitality shown
us while in their citv; And be it
further
Resolved, That these resolutions be
spread on our minutes and that copies
be sent to the Martinsburg fire de-
partment and to the press.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
When the Sap Rises

Weak lungs should be careful. Coughs
and colds are dangerous then. One
Minute Cough Cure cures coughs and
colds and gives strength to the lungs.
Mrs. G.. E. Fenner, of Marion, Ind,
says, 81 suffered with a cough until
run down in weight from 14S to 90
lbs. I tried number of remedies to
no avail until I used One Minute
Cough Cure. Four bottles OF this
wonderful remedy cured me entirely
of the cough, strengthened my lungs
and restored me to my normal weight,
health and strength" Sold by G..
w Tabler. W. s.. Harper 4 Co.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
REPORTS OF OFFICERS.
CITY OFFICIALS SUBMIT THEIR
ANNUAL sTATEmEsTs.
Fall Account Of Receipts and Disbnrse-
ments for the Fiscal Year
Just Closed.

The following are the reports of the
mayor, city clerk, city treasurer and
city sergeant, submitted at the recent
special meeting Of the council The
report of Treasurer Kline shows the
sum of SO, 335 cash on hand. The com
parative smallness of the amount on
hand is due to slow collections for
May. many people refusing to call at
the city hall to pay taxes and water
rents under present health conditions.
Ordinarily The cash balance at this
time would have amounted to about
SO, 900.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
IpurArroS WAS NECESSARY.

Mr.. Benjamin Whitson, of East King
street, who recently suffered the
MASKING of the middle finger of his
lett hand in the ice cream machine al
Stoker's bakery, had the finger ampn'
tated to prevent blood poison. The
amputation was performed by Drs'
Andrews and Sites.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
AHs.r,rendlsg spsetaeIs.

Especially to a fond mother. is the
agony OF irritation in her infant pro.
duced by many causes and for relief
OF which she has tried every means
without effect. Parola, a soothing
and healing powder, gives immediate
relief and permanent cure. For sale
nv G. o. WEAVING Il Co.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
c. W. Tabler, W. s. Harper & Co.

C. W. Tabier, w. s. Harper & Co.
do not hesitate to recommend Kodol
Dyspepsia Cure to their friends and
customers. Indigestion causes more
i'll health than anything else. 1t de-
ranges the stomach, and brings on all
manner of disease. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure digests what you eat, cures in
digestion, dyspepsia and all stomach
disorders. Kodol is not only per-
feet digestant but tissue building
tonic as well. Renewed health, per-
feet strength and increased vitality
follow its use.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
sure Cure for Piles,

Itching Piles produce moisture and
cause itching, this form, as well as
Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles
are cured by DR.. Bo-san-ko's Pile
Remedy. Stops itching and bleeding.
Absorbs tumors. soc a jar at Drug
gists, or sent by mail. Treatise free (,
Write me about your case. DR.. Boz
sanko, Phila. Pa.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
LICENSE QUESTION.

being due to local conditions in the
different wards.
LICENSE QUESTION.
The proposition of license or no
license for saloons furnished one of
the big surprises of the day. 1t was
known, of course, that manv of those
who favored prohibition for this city
were making an active and aggressive
fight, but few people seemed To realize
the extent of the movement or the in
terest being manifested in the propo-
sition by all classes of voters. 1t was
freely predicted that the "wetsN would
carry the city by big majority, but
only small number of people
were willing to concede to the "drys"
more than few score votes.
Nearly every person who voted for
the candidates for Office took advan-
tage of the opportunity to register
vote on the license question, and
when the ballots were counted it was
discovered that there were more votes
on this proposition than were cast
for the heads of the tickets. This was
explained by a number of spoiled
ballots deposited for different candi-
dates. The campaign of the prohibi
, ZIONIST was carried on chiefly through
. the columns of The Evening World,
and the value of this method of reach
ing the voters was amply demonstrat
ed by the vote brought out. The full
vote on the license question Will b.
found below.
VOTE ON LOCAL OPTION.
3 First Ward Wet DIR.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28

Martinsburg, W.. Va May 10, 1904.
To the Hon. Members of the Common
Council:
Gentlemen herewith beg to sub.
init to you my report of arrests made
and fines collected for the year ending
May IA, 1904.
The amount of fines collected was
$l46.60. The number of arrests made
were 107, classified as follows;
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
VOTE IN OTHER YEARS.

The years of even numbers mayor
and five councilmen were elected and
the odd years five councilmen were
elected.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
THE WARD CONTESTS.

The fipht for councilmanic honors
developed several surprises. especia-
lly in tile Second ward. where Nj.
]. G. Ifutzler trimmed MIR. nielintz,
his republican opponent, and in the
Third ward, where Mr.. +. s. Emniert
VOTE FOR COUNCIL.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28

Lalubert's majority 43
The total net democratic council
manic majorities were 179, the differ.
euce between these inajorities and the
i0S ina ority on the head of the ticket
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
Respectfully submitted
George F. Evans, May

Respectfully submitted
George F. Evans, Mayor.
Martinsburg, W. Va, May 10, 1904.
70 the Hon. Mayor and Council
Gentlemen-I herewith beg to sub.
nit my report of moneys collected by
me for the year ending May IA, 1904:
Amount received for weighing hay, &C., s144 IS
Amount received from loo. market stands 80 80
Total. ........... $3.50 Is
By amount paid Treasurer Kline. $50 IS
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
Alinghini's vote
Mingllini's majority

Mingbini carried the Fnst ward by
a majority of So; the Second by maj
ority: the Third by 80; the Fourth
was a tie, ia each; the Fifth went
for MinQhini by -.
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28

Martinsburg, W. Va, May ~. 1904.
To the Hon. Mavor and Council:
Gentlemen-I herewith beg to sub
NIT my report as Treasurer of the Cor
poration for the yearAending May IA,
1904, as follows;
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
Respectfully submitted
=,

A. +. Lambert, CITY IIerk,
Martinsburg, w. Va, May IA, 1904.
To the Hon. Mayor and Council:
Gentlemen--I herewith beg to sub
NIT my report as Sergeant of the Cor
poration of Martinsburg, for the year
ending May IA, 1904, as follows
A Ia
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
RECAPITULATIoN i.

Total amount charged. ...............S 4S525 Is
Amount paid Treas, commissions, sc 2797S 81
Amount on hand for collections .Sls544 "a
Respectfully submitted
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28
If You Have Dyspepsia, Read This


The old way of taking pepsin, bis
muth. etc.. to cure dyspepsia is all
wrong. They may be put up in tab
lets or in liquid, the result is just the
same. The object is to create arti-
fetal digestion, but this does not
make cure, Stop taking the pepsin,
etc., and you have your dyspepsia or
Indigestion back again. People use
cocaine or opium for nervous trou-
5les and sick-headache, it does not
cure, stop taking the drugs and the
pain and distress return. The only
Common Sense Method is to drive out
Of the system the cause of dyspepsia
and sick headache, by cleansing the
stomach and bowels, at the same
time using medicine that will act on
the liver. This forces through the
glands of the stomach the digestive
fluid that nature intended. In this
way you cure dyspepsia. The medi-
cine that cures dyspepsia by this
method Is called DR.. Gums Improved
Liver Pills. Druggists sell these pills
at Csc. per box. 1t only takes one pill
for dose. Sold by E. C. Shepherd,
druggist
Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-05-28

Respectfully submitted
w. r. Kline, Treasurer.