The Caldwell tribune., 1904-06-18
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He--T see you've finished the last
chapter. sheIong ago. I'm almost
In the middle Of the book.-Puck.
A little fellow said Of all the things
he saw at the CIRCUS no liked the little
condensed horses best Shetland pe-
nles.)
Meeksr-My wife and ! always cot.
tie our differences by arbitration.
Bradley--Who ID the arbitrator Meek
er-My wife. Of course Exchange.
| Dmployer-You are too slow about
your work, Office Boy (cheereully)--
Oh. we'll. what don't do to-day kin
do to-morrer.-Indianapolis Journal.
"She did not wish to be an old maid
and still she deteSted the society Of
men," "How did she manager" "she
married clubman."-Houston Post.
"An' how's yer husband the dayT'
asked Mrs. Rafferty, Of Mrs. Muldoon.
"sure, an he's no BETTER" replied Mrs.
Muldoon. "The doctors afraid morali-
Y will set In"
Mistress-So you want me to read
this love letter to your Maid-If you
place, mum. And I've borught ye some
cotton wool ye can STUFF in yer ears
while ye read It'll
Sharpe-Yeg, Parker invented the
safest airship ever heard Of. Wheal-
ton-But 1t refused to ny. You couldn't
60 up on It. Sharpe-That's why
aav II WAS ThA saSAAf
Here we have only been married
two days, Clarence, and you're gcold~
Ing me already" II know. my dear,
but Just think how long I hays been
waiting for the chance"
II see you are wearing my old en-
gagement ring" 'sYes; isn't 1t perfect
ly lovely to be engaged to Jackr' Eyes,
indeed! He's 20 deIiciously serious
about 1t, isn't heT-Detroit Free
Press.
Just a Hint: Mr.. sloman-It'S 30
strange that we have no national How-
er. We certainly should have one.
Miss Waite (signifcantly)-Yes; I
think the orange blossom would be
nice.-Exchange.
"Does your wife do much fancy
workT' "Fancy work? She won't
even let a porous plaster come into the
house without crochet1ng a red border
round 1t and running a yellow ribbon
through the holes"
Ascum-some people are saying
that you made most Of your money in
politica Leader-But others are say
ing I made most Of my money out oi
politics. So who are 70 going to be
liove?-Philadelphia Press.
"Do you believe" she asked, "tha'
genius can possibly be a good hus
bandT' "Well," he modestly replied
81 would prefer not to answer tina
question. But my wife ought to b.
able to tell you."-Hxchange.
Patience-Woman iS wOman'S best
friend, after all. Patrice-I guess
you're right. Patience-Certainly I'm
J right. Even when she Is getting mar
ried, doesn't man give her away, and
her maid Of honor stand up for her?
"Mr. Dabble," said a lawyer to
witness In the box, "st the time thes
papers were executed you were specu
lating, were you not2" YES sir.
"You were in OIL" II was" "An'
3 what are you in nowT' Bankruptcy,
was the solemn reply.
L Fall styles for school children.
" read Mrs. Hooper. '"That seems lik
a great extravagance. Just look at tn
= Illustrations" That's all right" com
mented Mr.. Hooper; "our children hav
8 all sorts Of fall styles, and most o
them are illustrated with bumps"
"How is it, dear Chum, are you n
q In Hallef" Eyes, but very distantlyI
"How distant?" "He Is my brother!
"How can you call that distantly r.
lated2" "Well. you see, there are te
brothers and sisters between him an
myself"
"I suppose that Dewey will be e.
pected to make little speech to admit
} Ing friends ut every place that tn
Olympia caIls," remarked the obser7
ant boarder. THAT" added the eros
eyed boarder, Twill make a great man
deck Grafton days this year."-Pitt
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
sis this new combination what 70
would call q trust" asked the your
y woman who asks questions simply II
fear the conversation will lag. ''Well
answered Mr.. Cumrox, "It depends q
!. together ON which side Of the deal yoV
interests lie. II you are one Of the o
. ganizers it's q trust, but II you're OF
- Of the consuming public it's g weld
= veloped suspicion. n."-Washington Sta
A Springfield school teacher receive
the following note from the mother I
one Of her pupils on Monday: "Del
Miss. You writ me about whipir
Sammy. hereby give you permi
sion to beet him up eny time 1t 10 ne
sssary to learn him leSenS. He 10 jus
II A. u