davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Neglect of Our HIGHWAYS.

In an address on the economy of good
roads DR. Wenston OF North Carolina
said: How careful we are to raise a
6ne horse, 10 give him the greatest
strength or speed we are capable OF
producing ny proper breeding, feeding
and training; but. having produced this
splendid product. we place him on q
wretchcd road that reduces by Mt least
half the powers that we have SO care
fully cultivated. Similarly we constfuc'
with great t:uuhle and with great ex
se..;sse a vehicle capable of attaining .
maximum speed and carrying Il max!
mum load. and then, as If to undo al
our work, we put it on n road that does
not permit ii TO carry half the load OF
TO attain half the speed of which il IL
capable Not Il basket of eggs is brought
TO market. NOT box of chickens. E
pound Of meat, bale of cotton. bar
rel of apples or a buShel of grain but
pays a tax 10 bad roads, invisible anc
imperccptible. but constant, steady ant
In the aggregate destructive of prog
sess and prosperity"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
SENTENCE SERMONS.

Honesty needs no advertising.
That which Is useless cannot be
harmless.
lie who will not be a servant cannot
be saint
1t is easier to endure failure than to
bear success
Today is never bettcred by tomor.
rows burdens.
Parading Il cross Is no proof of pos
scssing ii crown.
Enmlty 10 new IDEAS Is no proof Of
loyalty to old ones.
\ little sin may hold as much sor
row as large one
lie gives but an empty hand who
withholds his heart.
II is no sign that man IS riding to
heaven because lie Is driving others
there.
Better the service without the senti-
ment than the sentiment without the
service. Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Grandfather I4uil4rg il. fYl
l.,.=zIs tf4=-,
a ~ a. e - tt t',G ~ - = m
. %, ''..,'t d ~ I'M '.. ~ 'tf1i1E s..
- !. lh' anu 5tai r. II ...,,,5.
= a35ttHt55-'' MINI 3li.'' ~
X ~ anu 100 = ~. ,hiz.ast AZ "a. Ia,
and 2.33 Z m. ,=z..
Law bgiEi4tIt 81 anu 1.5a g. III -. -.
-al ana 90 p iiI' 'altils'at ~ III i'-aisl ''f
m ,fs,#
seaFe tFttirsuafs attn, ~ AM lp.55 IT m
-. q. - am ~" u IA zuAatAA s3' d h1s and
- L. IN
lseaNt itehthi'"if ~ "ht = 81 ". m p s.,
5.2a ana MI = IN. Stlt.l'tt r y = Il" IA h."
= ~ ~.
Leave telatii-teH 5=z7f d H. 5=.'i' #Ha SOP
p IN wen -i3t>S ~
l'saN We i-alnhtIl ~ t', eti tA itt#A Ii i9
Il M lug, J. ~ ah1=i4 g. NJ SIN -lilks Sl'
IA. m, ana = p. ~.
Arrive ireuton IS. Us, 'tt Il m' t=tt 81,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
THE WEIGHT OF MONEY.


- .. =
~ "e'-,' VI -, = -, -.
eep'i'e '.'''' an ''''i''o' -,
" la. -. -.
- .',.'i ' it, ,,'.,,.z7. A., a.
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pa ,iiieil ''i' ''',l'i'.'''' ~ ''.''' nm
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a. - ''''' M, - ,','' - ~,
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-, - 80 - -, -
"''' .',,u - - 49, INN
wa, - No. a.. .,....... ...,.,.
i'',''I' inns ~ 80
pe'f''' - -.
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uo'.g, 60 ','', w ,, wv I'M" >1 f,a datt.
- ~ - -. - - ''''' - Wv
sp'''i'''' ,.,.f,,r -, fr,,. -
!, -,
-, IN, 49, - ...,..so. ~, u,.,ta j..
Ia -
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'''l ,'c',, sri'a g., . ~ 49,,
INV. 49, =. ,' ,o. 80 go h,Ia aIdaiaso
,'''' 49,, ,,.a,,Id a,,t,. have -
80. IL. 49,, a.. I,,lf 5ai,.r IirIs ON flo
-, a. - :,
IN - -, -. -
.o,.ar5l noa,la AND eIfeitad answers al
a. 49,. 49,, cr5,,, On - onn IN. ,n,iorify
-, (''s ., fra,a ano - .no
-, ,,ot,.i., ,,,l5 ..i,s on5
,uf'. ,.ira,,# NJ tl,n tr.asurv II WINS fogar.
"a ~ a fva3 dollar ooidnieee vaie,Ts
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
YOUTH AND AGE.
The Thoughts Tint Filled the Maiden
and the Old Lady.

anu Ahc OAu
II was . o'clock in the evening, the
night Of the great dance in the assem-.
bly, room.
She was almost ready \ few final
touches, a little readjustment before
the mirror. and then, beautiful and
stately she stepped out into the hall
ANA slowly descended the stairs.
She was very young, but her calm,
serious face, her case and perfect poise
and other certain little gestures of
surety in herself indicated that she
WAS not new at the business of the
evening. Somehow there VAS a touch
of sadness to her face.
As she passed down the stairs she
paused in front of the library, with her
party wrap over her arm In the II
brary her face half shaded from the
evening lamp, sat an old woman Her
silver hair WIS smonthcd back from a
forehead that time had not spared
from wrinkles.
She looked up from the beck she was
reading with bright smile.
"Om again, my dear*' she said.
YES. grandma Hts another dance.
| had to go Rut its so tircsome."
She sat down wearily and gazed for
a moment absently into the llickerng
/ fire ON the hearth. There WAS brief
silence; then the old woman spoke:
My dear, You do not seem yourself
tonight OF what are you thinkingf9
Her granddaughter looked up.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Ihc InIllnin.

The tomato has curious history
After the revolution of Santo Do
mlngo many French families came
introduced their favorite "pomme
d'amour" Although introduced from
South America rs early rs 1896 into
England, it was looked upon with sus
pieion and its specific name, lycopersi-
cum. derived from lykos (wolG and
persikon "a peach, referring to the
beautiful hut deceptive appearance of
its fruit, intimates pretty closely the
kind of estimation i'll which it was
held. 1t IS now, however, almost
universally used
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Valuable Shares.

The shares of the New River corpora
tion are the most valuable in the world,
and only fractions of them usually
come upon the market For many years
the shares We're sold Mt Is apiece. and
indeed Charles |. reaSSigned his king s
shares TO the company in return for a
perpetual annual payment of 1900
which sum. under the style of the
kings clog" is still paid How bad
a bargain that was is shown by the
dividend for years past having aver
aged over f2,000 per share. while few
years ago one of the shares was sold
for f122, 600 by public auction. The ac-
tual face value of the shares is HOO
London Standard.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Colonel Anstruther Thomson, an
aged Englishman, says In volume OF
"reminiscences that at school which
he attended as boy the students were
regularly dosed twice year. 1--WE
We're marched up to Carmalt's desk
two and two, Two glasses of horrid
compound of bark were on the desk,
and an usher stood on each side. We
had to drink the dose, turn to the
usher and put ont our tongues to show
that we had swallowed it. This was
charged in our account: Wine, shil-
lingS'"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
The shorter Way.

Il understand that you have been
experimenting with a view TO discov-
ering the philosophers stonef" said the
oyhood friend.
Yes" said the intellectual man. IF
l discover 1t. shall become rich"
But what's the use OF waiting so
long? Why don't you get stone
straight from the quarry and get rich
on paving and building contracts the
same as l dT-Washington Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
FISH FOOD NOT THE BEST.


1t is doubtful whether any given
food in common use contains consutu-
ents which have a selective action, so
to speak, on the property of minister
ing to one part of the body more than
another As a rule, when a food is as
sumed TO have specific reparative prop
critics as, for example, so called
brain or nerve food-the fact really is
that such food is easily and quickly
assimlated TO the body's general adj
vantage; in a word, in such a case re
pair quickly overtakes waste and n
real purposeful nutrition and restora-
ton are accomplished. The admins
tration of such elements as phosphorus
or iron in medicine is, Of course. diff
ferent matter but these elements are
evenly distributed i'll the materials of a
daily diet.
1t is often stated that fish is food
which ministers partiS Iarly to the
needs Of the brain. because il contains
phosphorus. As Il matter of fact nsh
does not contain more phosphorus than
do the ordinary meat foods, and it GER
tainly does not contain II IN a free
state The notion that fish contains
phosphorus had no doubt its origin in
the glowing phoSpEnrescenee of hsa N
the dark. Ials phosphoreseenee is due
not To phosphorus ut all. hut 10 micro
organisms The belief. therefore that
fish is a brain food is just about US
reasonable rs the idea that because
soup Is thIck and Eelatlnous 1t will
stick To TIE ribs" or as sensible as the
celebrated advice 10 Nenlaat Green
to lay in q stock Of Reading biscuits 10
assist his reading.
Fish. OF course. Is excellent food.
partly because of Tire uourishing ma
ture OF its constituents and partly be
cause OF lis dIgesubility But it IS in
n9 sense specific for brain or nerve.
andou I4uppt
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

You seldom Will find a brainy man
with round head. The head that
contains lots of brains either is very
long from front TO back or else ir
regular. You can learn something Of
a mans mental ability by the hat he
wears If his head is SO bumpy that
II seems as If he never could get hat
TO fit him le probably is n genius or
a crack-a-jack in some particular line.
If his head is long from front to back
he is clear thinker and smart rs a
whip. SO If your hat costs more mon
ey than your friends hat does and
you are harder TO fit be consoled by
considering that your brain is worth
more.-New York Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Her Test.

An Oregon newspaper man says he
was once travelling in the back country
of Oregon, and, going to little inn
for lodging, was surprised to see a
large picture of DIR. Edward Everett
Hale on the wall. The woman of the
house explained 1t thus: well, you
see, good many strangers come here
and want ne to keep EN-. and l don't
know anything about 'em, but if they
know Edward Everett IIale's picture
know they're good for something,
and let EN- stay"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Some years ago Japan WIS neither So
free nor SO friendly with other nations
as she is today. In those old days,
when foreign ship entered the Jnpa-
nese ports, the captain WIS obliged to
place his Bible and ruddcr in charge
of the chief officer of the port and
leavc them there until he was ready
TO sail. OF course he wouldn't sail
without either, and the laps could
easily keep tabs ON the movements of
all ships in their harbors
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
TIL. Annette of Kitty.

The number of wild animals sold as
pets to private families in this country
is said 10 be beyond belief, but the
families generally return the beasts
before long TO the dealer \ writer on
this wild beast traffic in Leslie's
Monthly says that one animal dealer
who recently sold lion cub TO lady
received only two months afterward a
letter from her saying: please come
and take Kitty away. She has eaten
our New foundland dog"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
A Real fIarcaSn.

"In time" said the struggling artist
shat painting will be of great value
All you have to do is TO tuck it away
In an attic somewhere and keep it for
about 20o years, by which time / will
have become one of the old masters
Then you can sell it easily for $4,000.
You see, l know the rules, but unfor.
tunately am not in a financial posi-
ton to carry them out. So. If you want
a real bargain, I'll let you have this
little gem for 81 .50."--ChicaGo Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
A HOUSE DIVIDED.
The Reason Planned Goose Dinner
Was N Failure.

Most persons have had the expert
ence of walking with Il friend out of
step and trying to shift just ut the
moment when the friend also makes
the attempt This is an instance of
thwarted harmony much like that
which appears iii a story told by a
London journal of an elderly couple.
They We're childless and had never
been united by the bond of other lives
linked with their own. So they We're
always in state of we'll bred disa-
greement.
On the subject of meals they disa-
greed thoroughly. and each usually
suggested a dish for the Sunday din
ner which the other did not approve.
One Saturday the man came home
from market with a basket.
You needn't worry about tomor-
rows dinner any more, Maria. I've
got it."
and so have I. George. You We're
SO undecided
Undecided! l told you what l want
ed"
well. mean you didn't decide as
did So l bought goose"
"Why. so have l. l told You Id liliC
a goose"
Well now we are agreed for once
anyway"
YES, and suppose We'll have cole
goose and stewed goose for the mex
two weeks
They relapsed into their usual 81
lence.
Sunday forenoon the wife asked
"Do you want n little ounce In the
apple sauce with your GOOSE"
"Your goose, you meanT
"No. | don't. 1t seemed so absurd I,
have two geese in the house that
sent mine to Aunt Jane"
"What! l sent mine to Uncle joe
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

"Being a printer. MI Dash" said
the hotel proprietor, maybe you can
advise me. want To get sign paint
ed. Writing Room Free TO our Pa
irons or something Ike that"
4 don't Ike patrons, said Mr..
Dash
"Nof Maybe that doesn't sound just
right What would you suggcst?'
Victims - Philadelphia Ledger.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

According to the laws of good society
in China, young widows should not re-
marry. Widowhood is therefore held
in the highest esteem and the older the
widow grows the more agreeable her
position becomes. Should she reach
fifty years she may by applying to the
emperor, get sum of money with
which to buy tablet on which her
virtues are named The tablet is then
placed over the door of the principal
entrance of her house.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Mistake of Blind Bon Constructor

\ boa constructor THAT was nearly
blind was once found to be contented-
ly swallowing a blanket for dinner in
in reach and it was only with great
difficulty that it was forced to disgorge
this singular article of food, A snakes
tongue is therefore not an organ of
taste. nor Is it, as many think, sting;
1t is more probably delicate organ of
touch-Chambers' Journal.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Economical In Theory

HILL suppose my Wife is the most
economical woman that ever stepped.
Dale SO?
llill-Yes; she never spends money
for anything that she does not say she
will save IT in something else
Dale-And does she?
Hill-Well. you see, we never have
got SO far rs that yet But it is the
principle was talking about Boston
Transcript
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Job showed the little round sore
spot on his arm to his physician
What is that, DOCTOR he asked
THAT is II boil. pronounced the
medical man after brief examination.
~ boil" echoed Job. well that's
new one on me-
Later, however. there were others on
him Chicago Tribune
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Correct Address.

isn't Columbus dead, pop?T
"Why, certainly he's dead years and
years and years ago. What put such
question into your head, my SON.
why, the little boy what sits next
TO me In school said his father address
ed letter to Columbus yesterday"
"Where did he send II, SOM"
TO Ohio. = Yonkers Statesman.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

surely you are not going yet. Mr.
Parry Noor
II must, ma'am'
"But won't you stay for the feast
of reason and the flow of soulT"
"Thnnky. ma'am. but l reckon I've
already ct an drunk all that's good for
me. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
In fhe Snnic Snirii-

Larry sent Maudc garter snail
In alcohol for II joke. Harry VIII
did she do? Larry oh, she returned
ii In the same spirit In which il was
sent. Princeton Tiger
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Knew what struck Him,

Daily Were sunstruek, We sayf
Why, man alive, the sun could never
disfgure mans face like that
Riley-Ye don't know me son. DAILY
Brooklyn Life.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Algernen-To Tommy. do you think your
sister would marry me?
Tommy - Yes; she'd mary almost
anybody from what she oaid to me
Parsons Weekly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

"Why don't YOU 80 to work ana earn
money as | did ut Your age"
My dear father," said the compla-
cent youth IF were to so ahead and
work, what would be the use of your
having done soy Washington Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
Easily Acquired .

Hyker (reading)-A physiognomist
says that men who are impulsive and
aggressive usually have black eyes.
Piker-Thats right They are reason
ably sure to get 'em sooner or later.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

To prevent flannel from shrinking
put ii away in drawer. Do not keep
nn going TO look at 1t, as the shrinking
aabit il often due to nervousness.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

A little girl came to her mother one
morning and said Mamma, l don't
feel very we'll" well that's too
bad" said mamma. Where do you
feel worstT' I'm school," was the
prompt reply.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Fail and the parrot Will say told
you so. Win and the parrot Will say
he deserves credit We are. uncon-
sciously, most OF us, parrots.-School-
mhSter.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

The defects Of The mind. Ike those OF
of the face, grow worse AS we grow
old -Rochefoucauld
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

you can hardly persuade Miss Old
girl that marriage is not failure.
"Why? she never did marty"
but she tried To and failed. Smart
Set
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Some one has said four boxes rule
the world-cartridGe box, ballot box,
Jury box and bRndhox.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Mr.. Sloman-Its SO strange that we
have no national flower. We certainly
should have one Miss Waite tsignfi-
cantlyl Yes; think the orange bios
som would be nice Philadelphia
Press.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

The seas of Japan Okhotsk and
Berlng contain 1873 distinct species of
fish
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

He must be thorough fool who can
learn nothing from his OVID folly -
Hare.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Baron Toll, Russian explorer. is
missing, and his friends fear he has
been collected.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

Many men have been capable OF do
ing wise thing. but very few a gen
erous thing.-PoDe.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

I would rather make my name than
inherit it.--Thackeray.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13
We Went.

He-Be candid and tell me when sou
want me to go.
She-lts Il couple OF hours too late
FOR that.-Smart Set.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

The Way a Woman and Her Two
Children Were Saved From the
Hurricane of FInme and Panic by
"a Stranger Who wns Intoxicated.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

08nJ M 2}
Rfiay a m and 3 %
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

.hureato, st0anl 10 m
aH1Z-mudaas=tu ii Hl. and
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-04-13

'0Hps DIIfE J" 7 ~ EH##6 n
m. = faui 5H0 IA sunday.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-01-05
TRIES TO STEAL lows LAWS.

We have already accomplished IN this city the
greatest results achieved 10y any community on the
face OF the globe u yca ask me 20 give you the
PROOF OF nc eNceAe!cy % Democratic government
Did you look around you here. Nowhere has such
q change come over any aggregation Of citizens in
their cai!y concltOfs. IN the public conveniences
provided for them ia their grounds for recreation
here in this city % NeW-Gork
Y ny, u IS a quarter of "A century ago when any
person familiar with n remembers with horror
and aversion the tenement house, the front and
rear buildings with Cyriads OF human beings being
crowded l0to a single room. where its existence
became palpable long before 4 came within range
Of your sight We recall those hideous rooeries at
the Five Points ara other localities where peooIe
owelt in squslO-. too awfu! 10 picture ia voLr
minds: where bonds or mOdesty were broken down
where men returning from work felt the horror
OF their SURROUNDINGS and sought temporary for
Eetfulness IN drink. wnere children decrepit and
OF vice and crime ~
To-day We md the rear tenement house has dis
appeared: running water in every apartment the
plumber OF persons occupying space regulated nv
law, the hfieous rooeres things OF the past and on
the ground that supported them trees now spread
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-01-05
LOVING CUP FOR LOW.
Former Heads of Departments
Hosts of Er-Mayor.

Men who were heads OF departments IN tbs ctty
government under Seth Low as Mayor gave din
ner for Mr.. Low last evening at the University
Club. The only absentees OF note were ex-PoHcs
Commissioner Greene and cx-Edre COMMISSIONS
Sturgts who were out OF town. Those who were
with Mr. Low included George l. Rivss. ex-Cor-
poration Counsel; Or. John ". Brannan. OF ths
Bellevue Hospital board: ex-Park Commissions
Young OF Brooklyn; James L Wells. Dr. q K L
Gould Willis L. Ogden, Gustav LIndenthal, Homer
Folks William r Wilcox. DIT. Ernest j. Lederle'
Robert W. de Forest, Robert Cir1er monroe
Aaueduct Commissioner Curtis. James AcAeen.
McDougau Hawkes., Thomas W. HyneS. Dr. Jonn
Mc(Iaw Woodbury. and President Rogers or tns
Board OF Education
The dinner was strictly private a1air. ana sew
eraI reporters who sought information ABOUT u
we're told by servants at the club that the dinner
did not take place there a silver loving cup was
Treseuted TO Mr. Low by his former associates n
the CITY government. but IT was said that there
were no formal speeches