The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-01-30

Bazaar.
Its distinction: City man--How shall
] know which house it is? Suburbanite
You'll be able to tell easily enough.
It's the only one In the neighborhood
that hasn't a For Sale; align on it,
Puck.
Actor-HurFy, or wen miss the
train. Actress can't flnd my dia-
monds or my purse. Actor-oh, well,
never mind. Actress-Yes, but the
purse had ten dollars in it.-New York
Weekly.
The schedule: Newcastle-Was there
any romance connected with your en-
gagement? Ingerfeld- /
proposed to her at S:45 and she &C
cepted me precisely at 9:15.-Detroit
Free Press.
! "But why did you not send for the
doctor next deor when you became
suddenly ill?" asked his friend. 'You
forget" answered the sufferer, shat
have been learning to play the cornet
recently."-Puck.
A good point: He-There ia one
thing in particular I like about spin
sters. She-What liz that2 He-They
never bore fellow by telling him how
they used to do this and that before he
was born.-Tt-Bits.
George, did you know that I was
going to marry your sistsrT "WelI. I
heard her say SO, but she's had that
idea about so many other fellows that
l didn't feel sure about it till you told
,me."-Brooklyn Life.
"Say pa" queried little Billy Bloc
bumper, whats an echor' can echo,
my son." replied the old man, with q
sigh long drawn out, as the only thing
that can dim-fam a woman out Of the
last word.-The Tyre.
A beautiful romance headed Off:
'You don't mean to tell me you rescu.
ed a young lady from drowning and
didn't even stop to learn her namew
THAT'S what 1 did. My wife was
there when got the girl ashore
Elk.
Tuddy-Aren't yon going to take any
notice Of the libelous charges that
have been circulated about your"
Duddy-Not on your life. If did
they might come to the knowledge of
somebody who had not heard them
Boston Transcript.
An incidental revenge: "Did your
son really elope?" Eyes, and it's such
a blow. But there's one thing about
it that brings me little consolation"
"What's that?" HE eloped with that
odious Mrs. SINNERS hired GIRL
/ Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
Courtroom effects: The lawyer-Of
course, my dear madam! The great
thing in a case of this sort is to In
troduce something into the evidence
that will appeal to the jury. The lady
oh! shall change my costume
every day.-Brooklyn Life.
"That woman's boss of the ward all
right" said the first repeater, in the
days of female suffrage. land she's a
regular terror, amt she?" That's
what!' replied the other; II wanted So
, for my vote, and she wouldn't gimme
more'n $1.99. "-Philadelphia Press.
ut was careless of me to say that
admired Bacon" remarked the young
woman with glasses. did you offend
some Shakespearean student?" "No.
It was a Chicago pork packer. He
frig1dly remarked that he didn't care
to talk shop."-Washington Star.
Life preserver: Pat-Oi say, Moike,
PLAT do yez call that big round thing
on ther back Of that auto billy? Mike
| -Shure, an that's an ixtry toire, If
wan should burst, yez haythen. Pat
Begorra, an OF fought it war a loife
Philadelphia Telegraph.
! A journalist sat for many weary
minutes in the waiting room of one of
our medical celebrities. His patience
at an end, he called the servant and
said: my man, just go in and tell your
master that If l am not admitted in
five minutes I shall be well again.
Eek.
"Wait a second" she said, as she
stepped into the store. Certainly" he
replied, and when he had been uptown,
looked through his mail, spent two
hours on Change, and taken luncheon
at the club, he returned and found her
just emerging from the door.-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune.
Time up to date: II have been
thinking" said Father Time, "of aban-
doning the Scythe as an emblem"
Abandoning the scythe2 said the
goddess Aurora, who is always on
hand early to greet the old gentleman.
eyes. Don't you think an alarm clock
would be more appropriated -Judge.
did you hear about the game work
ed on Harker in the skyscraper this
morning? Some sleek chap walked in
and told Harker if he'd give him an
umbrella he'd go up to the roof and
come down holding on to the handle"
did he?" Yes; he came down in the
elevator, and 1 guess he's holding on
to the handle yet,"-Philadelphia Rec