Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-04-22
TICKLE
IA47 ~ BY
W. BYRON WILLIAMS
Entertaining a Whipper-snapper.

Entertaining a Whipper-Snapper.
Polonius was right, abstractedly,
when he said worth alone makes the
man; but, If alive to-day, would he
dare say that worth alone makes the
woman. Every successful business
man realizes that clothes enter largely
into the successes and failures OF to-
day. and dress accordingly. Women
long ago learned this truth and have
little respect for Polonious and his
ante-date philosophy.
Recently some very expensive and
iavishly furnished apartments were
erected in a well-known western city.
Two ladies', eminently respectable and
possessed of means. being in that
neighborhood, decided to call and In
vestigate. Unfortunately they had
been on a long constitutional through
the parks and wore plain costumes
including short skirts. They walked
brusquely up to the building and en-
tered the agents office. That indi.
yidual was absent, but his understudy,
a young male thing, with an inflated
idea of his own responsibility, eyed
them critically and with an overbear-
ing manner endeavored to impress
them with the enormous rentals
placed on the apartments. 1t was
more evident than pleasing to the Wis
itors that they were being sized up
as entirely too cheap" to be worthy
of consideration Much disguised
and more indignant, they withdrew
to the street.
1t was Byron who said:
Sweet is Revenge-especially to wo-
men,"
The very next day there drove UP
to the building handsome equipage
from which alighted two fashionably
dressed women. The sunlight sparkled
on their jewels and they bore them
selves with the unmistakable air OF
good breeding and plenty. The agent
Sinking and smiling, begged to show
the ladies the apartments, but they
insisted, strangely, on the assistant be
ing their escort. That individual
fawning and bowling and feeling much
elated at their marked preference
led the way.
Then began one of the most strenu
Gus experiences of whipper-snapper
From apartment to apartment they
urged him, up stairs and down stairs
through a modern city apartment Of
miles of stairway. At each landing
they found many grievous faults
with the inferiority of the building
They were exceptionally outspoken in
their criticisms and even took occa
sion to sink the shaft of venom into
the Inundated assistant.
At last, after having taken almost
two hours of the young mans time, he
was not over-politely informed they
wouldn't think of living in such a
shoddy, unpretentious and mediocre
structure.
Have you nothing better to show
us? Something worth, say, two OF
three times as smuch and several
times nicer ARA, led and more ele
gantly equipped they demanded. 81
see we have been misled by the adver
tisment, but yesterday when we were
here the prospects seemed better for
some really modern and acceptable
flats"
About this time the truth began to
dawn in the much-muddled mind OF
the whipper-snapper, but before he
could assume a retaliating air, the
ladies, their noses elevated and their
faces locked with disdainful rigidity
swept grandly out past the bewildered
agent to their carriage.
"Home,' they cried in chorus.
They had been avenged.