The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-04-04
Lies of Neighboring States.

Lies OF Neighboriug States.
FALSEHOOD THE TWENTY SEV-
ENTH.
When I was a kid in Cheyenne
SAID the renowned sporting man, II
was always getting into some mess or
other and getting crippled up. re-
member one time had a little %
calioer revolver. had been carrying
some cartridges for il in my pocket and
one morning on the way 10 school
thought I'd load the thing. Well, the
cartridges stuck about half way in
took the cylinder out, but even then
couldn't drive them home. Then 1
thought l would tap the thing gently
on big rock there TO put the cart
ridges in place. / was not Just certain
what the result would be, but / expert
Inented by tapping lightly and nothing
happened. Then 1 tapped a little
harder and pretty quick l got results.
they all went of together. One of
them went through this fnger-there
where you see that white markham
other went through my thumb and an
other clipped a lock Of hair out of the
front of my head. Wen, I kind OF
holiered and ran home for mother. /
was crippled up for quite a while. but
it was not long before got in il again
The Fourth of July happened along and
l mad toy cannon. / fastened that
70 board so it would take bigger
charges without leaving the country
Then l got on TO a system of stand
ing the board up on end and shooting
a tin can off the top of it. This was
great stuff and / was the most envied
lad in all Cheyenne's wide expanse
Pretty quick got in trouble again. /
used To shoot this cannon with fuses
from little firecrackers. The morning
OF the Fourth ! was up early and began
doing business. 1t so CHANGED that one
Of the fuses worked a little quicker
than had any reason TO suppose it
would and the net result was that I
had attn can driven against my frontal
bone with sufficient violence to cut al
most to the brain-presuming there
was any brain there. something that
all my relatives seriously questioned
in those days. Now. mind you, all this
happened in the little town of Chey-
enne during my early days, and
could prove it by Charley Erswell."
Dyspepsia Tablets.
However. there is one American in
stitution that none of those congress-
men dare criticise. and that is the
American girl.
The new humane officer has opened
an office and every dumb animal in
trouble should call at once and state
its case.
Il those Iowa coal mine operators
only had some ecclesiastical reserves
to draw upon their difficulty would be
simplifed.
The madly enthusiastic welcome the
Russians gave their defeated sailors
makes one wonder what they would do
should some of their fighting men win
a big battle and get home to tell about
Anyone having a brand Of harmony
that Will give both sides everything in
sight can do business with the Repub-
lican parties in Utah.
Representative williams of Missis-
sippi appears to have a heap of curiOsi-
ty concerning the inside workings of
the departments at Washington, and he
is not figuring on writing a book on
civil government, either.
Russian rifles may have been found
on the dead Tibetans. but the bullets
in the bodies were British.
The little boy who stuck his finger
in the hole in the dixie and prevented
the flooding Of Holland was called a
hero. but the fifty stockholders of the
South Jordan company who are doing
their utmost to keep Utah dry are not
getting any bouquets.
The talk to the effect that Russia and
England are likely to smoke the pipe OF
peace soon sounds reasonable. because
they have a common ground to get to-
gether on now, both being busily en-
gagged in grabbing somebody else's ter
ritory.