Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-01
ALL SORTS OF PESTS
CHARACTERISTICS OF THOSE IN
HUMAN FORM.
Man Who Insists on Repeating His
Own Stories-Several Varieties
Of Comic Order.

Yes, we run up against all sorts of pests
in our business" said Precinct Detective
George Boyd to reporter this morning.
"One of these is the man who forces you
to ask him questions If he wishes to tell
you that he is reading Mrs. Wigs he asks,
What book do you suppose l am reading?'
Although you have no interest whatever in
the matter. you are constrained by polite
ness to say. I'm sure do not know. What
Is ftF Thereupon hes tells you triumphant
~. He could have given you the informa-
ton without any of this annoying parley,
but that Is not his way.
The man who insists on repeating his
remarks two or three times is also an an
noy1ng pest. His trick is to watch your
countenance. and soon as he notes any
sign of his having impressed you. to go
back on his tricks and give you the whole
discourse over again. Especially does he do
this In telling a humorous story. II you
laugh you are lost, for you must listen to
the story over and over again until he has
wrung every drop of humor out of it.
There are several varieties of the comic
story pest Not more than three men in
n1ty-seVen are competent to tell humor-
Gus story, and the rest ought never to at
tempt 1t, for If there is only one dreary
thlng on earth 1t is a good story spoiled in
the beginning.
AAO Sout1C tdllSLy.
Among the comic-story pests are the
man who puts too many immaterial de-
tails into his narrative; the man who
laughs. at his own story before he has given
you the point ian exasperating wretch;
the man who exposes the point at the start
and then completes the narration after you
have had your laugh; the man who listens
Solemnly to you telling story, and then
remarking that he knows the same story
in slightly different and, he thinks. bet
ter form, tells the same story over again
and laughs uproariously at it; the man
who takes your story out of your mouth
by bawling out the point before you are
ready, and finally tells you puerile anec-
dote without the least bit of attic salt
about it, and is offended because you re-
ward him with nothing but slight shipper.
Women as a class poor story tellers,
but good listeners. A mans stock of old
stories is fresh enough for most women. In
telling stories to women, however. it is
necessary to avoid those whose point de-
Ponds on illusions TO facts which com
mon knowledge among men, but about
which women know but little nothing.
Political stories are likely to fall fiat in an
audience Of women.
The Offensive Punster
"A common punster is about the most Of
fensive of conversational pests, altf ough he
is hardly any more despicable than the flip
pant person that breaks into grave dis
course with cheap Righteousness. Real wit
is generally like beauty, it's own excuse for
being, and man might be forgiven for jok
ing at his mothers funeral provided he
made good jokes troublesome though
not malicious creature is the man that in
terrupts his conversation with little queries,
such as Isn't that SOP and Don't you
think 500" which you obliged to answer
before he will continue.
In addition to these pests we have al
ways with us the standard bores, such as
the man that tells anecdotes about his chill
dren and the man that insists on your try
ing his remedy for a cold. There is the pest
that Interrupts you with rapid criticism of
weather when you are reading. A pest that
has not before been classified is the one that
always makes the obvious remark and TAX s
pains to prove by long argument what is
perfectly plain without it.
AS each of these pests is annoying and
therefore rude it is justifiable to tell him
plainly of his fault and ask him to correct
1t. Bores are encouraged by the tolerant
Kindness of their victims. AS rule they
are well meaning persons and quite una
ware OF their conversational vices and 1t
would be as truly kindness to let them
know their vices, so that they may correct
them as it is to let man know that there
is a tag on his clothes or a woman that her
hat Is awry.'