The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-05-21
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Mamie-What Is biology? Gladys
I suppose it's the science of shopping.
Bobbles-What does this author
mean by saying that the hero had
"well-carved" features? Dobbles-
Perhaps he shaved himself.
Il wonder what makes my eyes so
weak" said an ultra Radical once to
Mr.. Disraeli. why, they are In a
weak place. said the latter.
Little Willie-Say. pa, how does IN
army scour the country? Pa-With
brushes, my son. Little Willie-.With
brushes? Pa-Yes. brushes with the
enemy.
May-Did Clara's husband leave
her much when he died? Belle-He
left enough to make her comfortable,
but not enough to get her a.. second
husband.-Llfe.
Waiter-Will you try course din
ner? Country Groom-No, sir; no
coarse dinner for us. Bring us In the
finest one you've got We don't come
down to the city every day; do we,
Matilda?
He-Do you know, dear, I was just
upstairs looking at baby. and I be-
lieve she has got your hair. She
(springing up)-Good gracious!
thought had put that switch out of
the child's reach!
did you ever see the Dardanelles
while you were In EurOpe| "No,"
answered Mr.. Cumrox "You see, we
were so busy sightseeing that we
didn't have time to call on any OF our
friends. Washington Star.
First BOy-And because you couldn't
find penny to pay the fare. did the
conductor make you get off the omnl-
bus and walk? Second Boy-No, he
only made me get Off could have
sat in the road il I wanted to- Tit.
Bits.
"a tall bride is the best-looking,
don't you Think" well" replied the
titled Englishman who had caught on
to little American slang, 80 far as
/ am personally concerned. certainly
am not looking for one who is short"
Chicago Evening Post.
The army officer looked with dis.
pleasure at the soiled sheet of paper
that had been handed him. That's a
measly looking document" he ex-
claimed. Eyes. SIR" said the subor-
dinate, touching his hat. IT'S the
sick list"-Chicago Tribune.
Edyth-Yes, you see she told the
count that her fathers partner had
robbed him of nearly all his wealth,
just to test his love for her. Mayme-
And then? Edyth-He asked her for
letter of introduction to the daughter
Of her fathers partner.--Chicago
News.
agree upon one thing and not keep
me all the time in a worry. Tommy
What have they been doing now?
Johnny-MOther won't let me stand
on my head and dad Is all the time
fussing because l wear my shoes out
SO fast
Mistress returning from holiday
Why, Bridget, whatever has become
of the parrot? Bridget-Well, You see.
mum, after you left 1t looked bit
pining like and didn't talk much, so
the cook and put 1t out Of its misery,
poor thing, and | had 1t stuffed for
my new 'at.-Judy.
"They say" said Mrs. Oldcastle,
that Mr.. Faddlethwaite, who used
to belong to our church. has become
an agnostic" as that so? Josiah
place he did down town. and he says
he often warned him that he'd get 1t
II he didn't give up eatin' so fast
Chicago Record-Herald.
They had been married only three
short weeks, and he was actually in
terested in his paper at the dinner
table. Darling" she began in a tone
meant to be reproachful, "do you love
me just as much as you ever did,"
Sure thing" he answered briefly.
She ought to have been satisfied to
let 1t go at that. but she wasn't.
"Why?" she asked Don't know"
he replied. "Just a fool habit I've got
into, suppose. Then for seventeen
consecutive seconds silence reigned
supreme.-Chicago News.
At the first performance on the new
church organ no one in the audience
was better pleased than the maid en-
ployed in the organist's family $50
you liked the music. did you, Mary?"
said the organist the next morning,
reports of her enthusiasm having