davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29

contemplation Of his aconcs he in
this life hal bestowed urnn his un-
harry, ruined, starving and tortured
brother.
Down in the dust! Every one Of
US, Abrahams and Dives. We who
have escaped know that We have
missed ruin and shame by chance,
destruction by lack of temptation
and opportunity or by avoidance of de-
ion. Who are we to hold our
selves above Lazarus or above Dives,
fallen and tortured by the fame? As
Dives is pictured in this world, as
Abraham is portrayed in the world
beyond, are not most Of US?
We are Indifferent. To the fallen
and loathsome who lie among the dogs
we drop crumbs npsiigcntly-our
cents and nickels ami dimes, careless
whether they go t. help or hurt. To
the people who have fallen, who are
living in actral hclls Of disaster, debt
or fear, torturing poverty and shame
and sin, dcsolation and degradation,
We are as calmly philosophical as
Abraham. Between them and us is
great gulf fixed and we do not seek a
bridge on which VIC may cross or send
over to give even moment Of peace.
We do not even send the missionary.
ready and willing to carry the drop
of hope und refreshment for the
burning tongue and the gasping, dry
throat.
Every day of our lives so many of
US do Dives to Lazarus, Abraham to
Dives. We scorn and neglect the
miserics of others, forgetting our own
narrow escapes, we philosophizc over
those in hell and torment and sagely
admonish them, forgetting that we
ourselves have avoided their fate by
hairbredths aud miracles of mercy.
We forget to be merciful, charitable,
generous and tolerant and because we
are fortunate dare to be Indifferent and
to tell them of their past pleasures
and lost opportunities and ourselves
of the gulfs fixed between us-the
CULTS social and moral and commercial
over which we seek no bridge, across
which We send no soothing and com.
forting messenger.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29

= Two women set out to win the
same map, and each entered the game
with different plan. One put on
fine garments TO dazzle lis eye, and
the other for him baked an old-fash-
ioned pie. The swell dresser did
nothing but giggle and talk; the pie
baker said nothing-but she won in
walk.
= a young man who does not keep
his word is not only liar, but poor
s'rt of fool. He deceives only himeelfs
and is no better than the fellow who
mixes fa;e' at him in the mirror.
- You can meyer make man be-
lieve there is any sort Of housekeeping
In his house when he come es home late
and fDds the decanter empty.
What a jolly world this would
&c if every man came up to the stand
ard Of perfection he fixes for his
neighbor.
\ woman 8 fayorite writer is
husband who is capable of writing
checks.
= Even when a woman knows her
husband is lying she keeps right CT
asking questions.
= 1t is in accord with the eter-
nal fitness of things that ghosts should
walk in the dead Of night.
= Some men actually know few
of the things they believe.
Many so-called political boom
turns out to be boomerang.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
Saving the Constitution.

A story on sharp justice Of the
peace was told at the Gait House re-
Gently by j. L. Powhatan Of Chicago,
says the Louisville, KY. Herald.
1T chanced," said Mr.. Powhatan,
that this justice Of the peace lived
in little town in far recess of Ten
nessee. He was the only Republican
in the district, yet he happened by
some trick of fortune to hold Office.
"At length, when political excite
ment had reached an unwonted pitch
project was formed to oust him from
his Office and put in Democrat.
"The election was held in an old
distillery, and the ballot box was a
large gourd. The squire was early on
the scene, Glad in the toughest of
clothes.
Fellow citizens he said, I want
to make you short speech
"The audience having agreed, he
accordingly mounted barrel-mag-
nanimously determined to rise above
all party issues aud appeal to State
pride and patriotism
Fellow oitizens,' he said, I've
been alookin' around here to see plain
enough what's a-goin' on. r know
what you want. I've been justice of
the peace here goin' on twenty years,
an good many times I've saved
many Of you from going to the peni-
tentiary, an now you're tryin' to put
me out of Office.
But l just want to tell you some.
thing. I've got the constitution and
the laws o the State of Tennessee in
my pocket, and just as you turn mrs
out Of Office, I'll burn 'em up-blame
me if | don't-and you may all go 70
ruin together.
'The effect of the speech was over.
whelming. The ruin threatener was
elected by handsome majority. To
be in State without a constitution
and laws was too great q calamity TO
be thought off,
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
A Nest Ruiidinu Eish,

One of the quccrest denizens Of
the deep and one which could very
properly be called an archaeological
wonder is tie gou7aiTaiis, The famous
nest building fish of the oriental
seas. These fish are very plentiful
in the waters of Cochin China, ia
va, Sumatra and .Borneo. At the
breeding they pair off like birds and,
selecting favorable spot in shallow
water among aquatic plants and
grasses, build large spherical nests
of floating weeds and plaster them
over with mud. The broad, fat
fms used in this last operation are
attached to the abdomen and are
wholly different from anything in
the fin line known to naturalists.
The full grown female gouramis is
six feet long and weighs 10 pounds.
The eggs of this queer fish, which
are deposited in the mud plastered
nest, number from 800 to 1000.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
Courtroom Wiz.

Frank Lockwood, an English
counsel Of whom many stories are
told, was once defending man at
York who was accused of stealing
cattle-"beasts," they call them
there. "Now, my man." said Lock-
wood, "you say that you saw thus
and SO. How far can you see a
beast to know it?" "Just as far of
as l am from you," promptly re-
turned the witness. In another case
a thief showed both wit and some
logic. He had been convicted of
stealing a horse. "Yours is very
serious offense," said the Judge
sternly. "Fifty years ago it was a
hanging matter" "Well," replied
the prisoner, "and fifty years hence
it mayn't be crime at ALL"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
He Took BrOoms.

Two old fellows in New Hampshire
were the sharpest things in the way Of
bargaining. Cy Pcttingill made brooms
for living and Ezra Hopkins kept a
store. One day Cy came in with a
load of brooms and the di,kering be-
gan.
Cy was man who could see bar
gain through six-inch plank on q
dark night, and Ezra could hear q
dollar bill rattle in a bag of feathers
mile off. Well, they began, and
their conversation was something like
this:
Ezra, l want to sell you those
brooms."
"All right, Cy, I'll take them
Cy said: II don't want any store
bargains. I want cash for them"
They talked and gadded while, and
then Ezra said II tell you what III
DC, c. II give ycu hs!e cssh end
half trade"
Cy took q fresh chew Of tobacco,
pulled straw out of one of the brooms
and said:
'That'll be all right, Ezra"
After he had put the brooms iu tie
store, Ezra said: Here's your mon
ey, Cy; now what do you want in
trade p
Cy looked around for a spell, cooked
his eye up to the ceiling, stuck his cud
in his cheek and said
"Well, if it IS all the same to you,
Ezra, Ill take broome. "-Columbia
Record
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
VERY LONG MEALS.
Rhe Solemn Dinner Of an Old Time
English Archbishop.


Dinner in the fifteenth and six
teenth centuries was eaten at II
O'Clock and supper at or 5. These
were very long meals, as the follow
ing anccdote from the carte of
lthctorike,' by Thomas wilson, viii
show:
Gan Italian, having suit here in
England to the archbishop of York
that then was and coming to York
when one Of the prebcndarics there
brake his bread, as they term it, and
thcreupon made solemn, long din
ncr, the which perhaps began at IL
and continued well nigh till 4 in the
afternoon, at which dinner this
bishop was. 1t fortuncd that as
they were set the italian knocked at
the gate, unto whom the porter,
percciving his crrand, answered that
my lord bishop was at dinner.
"The italian departed ana re-
turned between II and !. The por-
ter answered they were yet at din
ner. lie came again at :, Of the
clock. The porter told him they
had not half dincd. lie came at 3
O'Clock, unto whom the porter, in a
heat, answered never a word, but
ohurlishly did shut the gate upon
him. Whereupon others told the
Italian that there was no speaking
with my lord almost all that day
for the solemn dinners sake.
''Ihc Italian, wondering much at
such long sitting and greatly
grieved because he could not then
speak with the archbishop's grace,
departed straight toward London
and, leaving the dispatch of his
matters with a friend of his, took
his journey toward Italy. Three
years after it happened that an Eng
lishman came to Rome, with whom
this Italian by chance falling &C.
quainted, asked him if he knew the
archbishop of York. The English
man said he knew him right well.
4 pray you tell me- quoth the Ital-
ian, hath that archbishop yet
dined?'"
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
AN INQUISlTlVE CAT.
This Feline Paul Pry Has a Mania For
lnvestig alton.

"Speaking Of cats, ! have one at
my house that is simply marvel
when it comes to prying into
things" said a man who is fond OF
animal study, "and it Is really il
tercsting 20 watch him. II there is
anything around the place he does
not understand, it is because it is
new and hasn't been there long
enough for him to inquire into it.
Generally when anything new is
brought into the house he immedi-
atcly attempts to look into it. If
the thing is wrapped up SO he can't
get to it, he will DO his best to find
out what it is, and if he fails to
reach any satisfactory conclusion at
the time he will wait until some
more auspicious time.
''I'hc other day Tom discovered
for the first time that n couple of
pictures Of dogs were hanging up
in one Of the rooms. Since that
time we have not been able to sec
any peace around the house. lie is
simply crazy to get to the pictures.
He no doubt recognizes the fact that
his old enemy is bodied forth in the
pictures, and it may be that he
thinks they are alive and want to
make rough house, if | may use
a slang saving. At any rate, he is
always clawing at the walls and
whining and jumping up OH c'airs
and doing other things to indicate
that he is simply dying to, find out
something about the dog pictures.
l suppose VIC shall have to take the
pictures down and allow Tom to
satisfy himself as to the nature of
them.
"Tom has manifested another
evidence Of the curious part Of his
nature. If the members of the fam
lily are scattered in different parts of
the house and happen to be talking,
he simply runs from one group to
another. He seems to be afraid
he'll not hear all that's being said,
and he nearly runs himself to death
going from one group to the other.
l cannot say how much of the con-
versation he understands, for l do
not know definitely the extent of
Toms vocabulary, but / know he
takes an immense interest in all
that is said. Let the conversation
turn on humorous point and pro-
ducc q hearty laugh, and he will
enter into the spirit Of the thing
and will apparently laugh with the
family. But this is all beside the
question. I was merely speaking
of the fact that Tom is inordinately
curious, and l may add in conclu-
sion that have seen but few human
beings who were SO keenly curious
as this little family pet" New Or
leans Times-Democrat.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
Chronic Sore
Eating Ulcers 1pss ss'sts9s sss sys'sn. sss's

much trouble old ulcer,
tuay when located upon the lower extremi where the circulation
and sluggish eating ulcer the leg
frgfu sight and the poison burrows deeper and into the
melting away strength going
enng discharges running deep
boil swollen gland tuise pimpl,
threatening danger always because while all such
great this should you
chronic sowhealn ulcers and particularly in
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. r.
DIRECT ROUTE TO THE
ST. louis EXPOSITION.

Two Trains daily, in connection
with w. & A. r. r. and N. G. & St.
L. Ry from Atlanta Leave Atlanta
6::15 65:.55 =. u. nd arrive s. !.og:s 7::ne
a, M. !; leave Atlanta $3.50 p. u. ard
we St. Louis 1886 y. M.
through Sleeping Cars from Geor-
ia, Florida and Tennessee.
Route of the famous Dixie Flyer.
Carrying the only morning sleeping
car from Atlanta to st. Louis. This
car leaves Jacksonville daily ct 800
p m, Atlanta s:25 m, giving you the
entire day in st. Louis to get located.
For rates from your city, World's
Fair Guide Book and schedules, sleep
ing car reservations, also for book
showing hotels, boarding houses, quot.
ing their rates, write to
FRED, d. MILLER,
Travelling Passenger Agent,
No. l N. Pryor st., Atlanta, Ga.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29

ance because they are SO
persistent and unsightly
and dctract SO much from
ones personal appearance.
Middle aged and old peo-
pie and those whose blood
is contaminated and taint-
ed with the germs and poi
son of malaria or some pre-
vious sickness, are the chief
sufferers from chronic sores
and ulcers. While the
blood remains in an unhes
continue to grow and spree
is the outward sign Of some
the blood and system, whie
rifier and tonic is what "
quicken the circulation a
is just such q remedy. ]
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29

Wheeling, W. Va, May 2s, 1908.
Some years ago while at work, I fe:l over truck
became poisoned as a result, and the doctor told
me would have running sores for life, and that
If they closed UP the result would be fatal. Un-
der this dtscouraging report left of Sher treat-
mont and resorted to the OF g. s.. 8. Lts effects
were prompt and gratifying. It took only short
while for the medicine to cure up the sores, :od
am not dead es the doctor animated would be-,
mother have the sores ever broken out agein, and
some IL years nave elapsed since what have de-
JOHN W. FUNNID.
Care schmulbach Brewing Co.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29
The Re4ors Courteous,

Sergeant Ballantine told the sto-
ry of barrister Who had been sup
planted by: Adolphue, an Irish law
yer. The one who was losing his
briefs in fit Of spleen remarked to
Adolphus, "You remind me OF the
three B's-blarney, bully and blus-
ter"
Instantly the Irishman retorted,
"You did not complain Of my b(ee)a
until they sucked your honeyw
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1904-06-29

Botanic Blood Balm (B.B.B.J 10
Pleasant and safe 20 take Thoroughly tested for 50
years. Composed Of Pure Botanic Ingredients.
Strengthens Weak Kidneys and Stomaehs. cures
Dyspepsia. Sold by all Druggists. 81 Per Large
Bottle. with complete direction for home cure Sample
Sent Free by writing Blood Balm Co.. Atlanta. Ga.
Describe your trouble. and special free medca
10 suit your case, will be sent Ia sealed letter.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1904-06-17
Come Home. Father

Father, dear father, come home with
me now.
For mother is out to the club.
You said yon were coming right home
from your work
To gel The dear children some grub,
The cook has gone ou1-her club also
meets
The jauitor's gone on a spree.
And poor Brother Bonnie has swal.
lowed a nail.
And no one to help him but me-.
Father. dear father, come home with
ME now.
There's s%crubbing and sweeping 10
do. ~
While mother is solving the problems
OF state
The children are crying for yon
The socks must be darned, the patches
tackled on.
The beds must be turned back 10
ar.
And mothers shlrtwaist must be iron.
ed tonight,
Or she will have nothing to wear.
Father. dear father. come home with
me now;
80 -.
It's lonely without any man;
And mother viii grieve when she
comes from the club
If things are not fixed spick and
span.
Don't swear, dear papa; IL isn't ponte;
The children IN hearing might be-
50 let business slide. Tor dear moth.
or, You know,
May bring home d few friends 10
tea.
Council Bluffs Nonpareil.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1904-06-17
Sultan of Suln.

Sultan of Suln.
We, in this part of the territory,
have hopes OF our own for a reservoir.
The surveys have been made and the
figures submitted. No work done else
where lii the territory a affect our
chances in the least degree. The ques-
ton will be decided entirely upon
merit. The Optic says to the people
here, whatever may be the decision Of
the board Of engineers, and says to the
people In other barts Of the terri.
tory, that the reclamation service is
following the Instructions Of the in.
terror department exactly and IL doing
its best for every state and territory
In accordance with those directions.
Wherever conditions promise large re,
turns for money expended reservoirs
viii bic decided upon After the sue
cess Of the great experiment has been
established. more questionable sites
will be chosen and eventually almost
every cubic foot Of water that can be
compounded or conserved will be made
available for the irrigation Of land. II
We get The reservoir here, 1t will be
q cause for great rejoicing. II we
don't get II We won't abuse the reela
nation service. nor do we think we
viii get Mr.. Rodey to see the presi-
dent about IL
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1904-06-17
RopeY GETTING EXCITED.

The Journal reports Delegate Rodey
as follows IN an Address before q bis
meeting of the Commercial Club In Al
buqterqne.
Il do believe that the Rio GraDdt
valley has some powerful enemies who
are retarding the progress u any i'm
moyement nsgr the present conditions
and ! am morally satisfied that their
influence Is preventing the accomplish.
inept of irrigation on a large scale
from that river. For over a year and
a half ! have fought with tho recla,
nation service III an endcasor 10 have
something accomplished. but here.
after ! shall not bother with anyone
outside % The SECRETARY of the Interior
and The president Of the United states
IN this matter, | admit that they are
gathering data, but results are what
We want.
That sounds like nonsense. Del
egate Rodey talks very much
more scnsibly when he advises the
farmers 10 bledge their lands 10 the
government and remove ati difficulties
possible IL order that q favorable re,
port may the more readily be made
However u Albuquerque Ii going Il
declare war against Che United states
because shs dossnit ret one Of The
fitst reservoirs and II Nj. Rodey il ia
be the generallnchief, all the rest 81
New Mexico might al wen take 4 seat
In The rear.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1904-06-17
need an almanac.

:
Besides, the American people like
. little sincerity In politics. They
know that German, and Smith and
Murphy i not really for Cleveland.
They know that these statesmen have
even less use for the ~ex.President than
they have for Judge Parker, and not
much more than Cleveland has for
them, which Is about as near the ir-
redncible minimum as IL is possible to
get without a chemical test, There
VIII be no stampede for Cleveland
headed By the men who helped To
wreck ILL last administration.
Tammany, which went to Chicago
In 1892 shouting for Hill and protest.
ing that Cleveland could not carry
New York, now threatens 70 70 g
st. Louis shouting for Cleveland and
protesting that Parker cannot carry
New York because he is loaded with
HiIl's support. The mere statement
81 that situation makes II clear that
|Tammany's iong.feIt want OF q leader
with d sense of humor has not yet
been supplied. Such a leader would
have saved /, the organization from
many humlliating experiences n the
past-the lack Of one seems likely 20
plunge ii into many 9 IN the A.,
|tnre.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1904-06-17
PSORIASIS
and ECZEMA
Milk Crust, Scaled Head,
letter, RingWorm
and PimpIes
nnunl cre rneaTurur etn m
COMPLETE TREATMENT. sl.00
70, Torturing, Disfguring Humours,
4 From Pimples to Scrofula,
From Infancy to Age.

The agonizing itching and burning
OF the skin, as In eczema; the frightful
scaling, as In psoriasis; the loss Of hair
and crusting Of the scalp, as in SCALED
head; the facial Disagreement, as in
pimples and ringworm; the awful suf-
fering Of infants, and anxiety Of worm
out parents, as In milk crust, letter and
salt rheum-all demand a remedy Of
almost superhuman virtues toeuccess-
fully cope with them. That Cuticura
Soap, Ointment and Pills are such
stands proven beyond all doubt. No
statement Is msde regarding them that
Is not justified by the strongest evil
dence. The purity and sweetness. the
power to afford immediate relief, the
certainty Of speedy and permanent
cure, the absolute safety and great
economy have made them the standard
skin cures and humour remedies OF the
civilized world.
Complete treatment for every humour,
consisting of Cuticura Soap to cleanse
the skin, Cnticura Ointment to heal the
skin, and Cuticura Resolvent Pills to
cool and cleanse the blood may now be
had for one dollar. A single set is often
sufficient to cure the most torturing,
disHguring, itching, burning and scaly
humOurs, eczemas, rashes and irrita-
tions, from infancy TO age. when all
Aelse fails.
aola throughout the world. Cuticura Resolvsnt. 800. Din
ATm oil Chocolate Coated Pills, 21cs per vial Of 3d.. Oint-
Issni. $40. sosp, 25c. Depotei London, q Charterhouse
II .'er Drug = Chem. Corp. eole Proprtetors.
~ send for = How " Cure Every Humour.s