The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-02-14

Although candor campels the admis-
sion that the utterances OF some mem-
bers OF the clergy are deliciously sopori-
ferrous, It cannot be denied that many Of
the smartest and most quickening OF say
inSs drop from the lips OF pulpit orators.
The Rev. DR.. e. N. Caliscn certainly
made home shot a few months ago
when he put In his pungent plea for kind
words to our nelghbors. The eloquent
young rabbi said that what we need IN
this world Is more taffy during life and
less epitaphy after death. In other words
his epigrammatical pun means that
fblarney Is vastly more desirable than
tombstone compliments the latter
species OF praise. though quite common
despite the size Of the stonc-cutters fees.
has never. so far as know, evoked Il
single word Of commentator from It's
$bcneicaries. But there are some who
suspect that the gathering OF the clans
on resurrection day will be considerably
retarded by the curiosity OF those who
undoubtedly will pause to read anu
chucklc oyer the post -obit encomiuns
they SEQ craven on their monuments
But with blarney-or taffy-'tis dl1cr'
ent, These verbal tldbits, welcome alike
to old and young, are swallowable when
s all else In life Is almost as much or an
rnetis as lpecac or warm salt water. nor
do they have to be gulped down withtvlsibe
effort. as was probably tho case with the
oft-discussed worthy swallowed by the
whale, One is neyertoo heavy With years,
too insignificant, to deaf, too pcsslmlstlc.
too suspicious, or too great to accepti
tatfy in good faith. nor Is the weakness
confined to that crratic sex which is said
TO reve in compliments--or rather, In
being tho recipients OF compliments, And
II a reasonable confession be permissible,
1t can be asserted with the utmost verify
that man--whiskered, calloused man
doats on taffy and In thousand ways
will show his Unsuitable appetite for It.
True, he docs not knew how to look coy
when the sweet morscls are thrown at
him. and In all probability he VIII grunt
seeming satisfaction when the hoHeyed
words are TOSSED into his hungry NAV,
hut these signs do not disprovs the tact
that his motto is: "My name Is Jimmy
and III takesall you gimmle."
The patient but very outspoken woman (
to whom this and all my other precious
manuscripts have been read, insists IN
her blunt way that taffy Is the greatest
of all masculine lubricants. She says
that praise sharpens tho wits OF men like
"a fat-bacon rind sharpens the teethYof
a. buck saw. THE only difference be-
tween the bucls-sa and the man. adds
the needle tongued conquerer Of cooks Us
that the bucks knows when It has
been. creased enough, whereas a mans
gluttony for barney has no limit. With
+ lin it's quantity rather than quality,
For instance, know u certain shabby
genteel newspaper writer whose flamboy-
ant efforts I have conscientlously5 yaWned
through for twenty years, come next
nd-hog day But my limping COM
pliments, though positively rh 81, ai
through years Of repetition. stu trlp
merrlly into his hospitable heart. Long
ages ago i ceased attempting to change
my verbal recipe for taffy: all IsnoW elm
at is perpetually increasing hype aE'eEe
Occasionally, too. have had to browse
through this same tormentor's speeehea
ana to constitute myself into q Wildly en- n