davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
Dissatisfied With the TineN


They were talking about the feel
ing Of unrest and dissatisfaction that
peTvades certain sections OF the c0un-
try up at the Yale commencement.
Frank F. Dole, who is famed as the
owner Of the EdgewOOd Kennel Of
bull terrier dogs, listened attentively
and suddenly broke up the whole con-
ference with his remark:
Ernest SetOn-ThOmpsOn, or Thomp-
son-SetOn or whatever his name hap
pens to be this month, was up look
ing over my kennels the other day
You know he is strong on this new
fad OF nature study, and he was re-
marking on this same spirit Of unrest
in the animal kingdom. Says dogs are
Just as dissatisfied as men-and
skunBs. Claimed he could understand
their complaints and while chatting
carelessly flung a bit Of dog biscuit at
EdgewOOd Monarch. The dog snap
ped it up, spat it out. and then
growled.
a. 'Therel' exclaimed -Thomp-
son, or whoever he may be, what did
I tell you? That dog said plainly,
s. 'Tain't half so good biscuit as my
mother used to give me. New
York Times.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Then. one April morning, he present
ed himself at Mr.. Whyard's once On
Broadway.
Marriott asked after Mrs WhyaTd-
And Miss Edith?" he said eagerly.
You remember, Mr.. Whysrd, that
love her, that I hope to marry her
some day. Last year was poor, but
RoW can support her IS you would
desire 7 have property worth eight
hundred thousand dollars" he added.
mOdestly, and have a practical GER
tainty Of more than ten tines as
much
Whyard wheeled his swivel chair
and looked the young nan IN the face
with very evident amazement
Ten times eight hundred thousand
dOIiarsi" he cried, ncredulously.
what IS this property Of y0urs7'
Platinum SID Marriott. srYou
see. sir" he went OF quietly, II ran
eSozs a sample Of dust from South
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
EVER READY WITH AN EXCUSE.
sevsn-Year-oId Child Quickly Retorts
to Papa's Remark.

seVen-Year-oId Child Quickly Retorts
TO Papa's Remark.
Alice, aged z, has from her birth
been taught economy. Her father
never lets a chance slip to remind her
not to be extravagant- Alice knows
this, and from necessity has learned
to be ever ready with an excuse.
On many occasions the child shows
diplomacy and reason in her expiana-
tiOns for waste, etc
Recently she came into the house
for dinner. Her favorite Dish is boil
ed rice, provided the rice is floating
on melted butter. On this occasion
rice was one Of the dishes on the
table.
Being possessed with an appetite
not only natural to a girl Of her age,
but accumulated by hours of play in
the park, she unceremoniousIy seated
herself at the table
Two large spOOnfuIs Of rice suficed
for her first helping Then she SCOOP
ed up a tablespoonful Of butter. Her
father watched her make the sauce.
when she began to eat the rice he
said:
Alice, butter is worth twenty-sour
cents a pound now"
The shot missed its mark, as the
child hastily replied:
We'll, papa, it's worth it on rice"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Bay City, IL, August 8 (SpeciaD.-
Mr.. K T. Henley Of this city adds his
evidence to that published almost
daily that a sure cure for Rheuma-
tism is now before the American peo-
pie and that that cure IS Dodd's Kid
ney Pills. M Henley had Acute
Rheumatism. He has used Dodd's
Kidney Pills. He says Of the result:
After suffering for sixteen years
with rheumatism and using numer-
Gus medicines for Rheumatism and
more medicines prescribed by doe
tors, I at last tried Dodd's Kidney
Pills with the result that I got more
bentft from them than all the others
put together.
''Dodd's Kidney Pills we're the only
thing TO give me relief, and recon-
mend them to all suffering from
Acute Rheumatism"
Rheumatism is caused by Uric Acid
in the blood. Healthy kidneys take
all the Uric Acid out Of the blood.
DOdd's Kidney Pills make healthy kid
neys.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
The Train Matted.

4 was travelling up in Canada, Just
over the border Of New York State,
this last summer" said the broker,
when, just as the train was about
ready to pull out of the station, a
negro ran up excitedly.
Hey, there!' he shouted to the
conductor, who was singing out All
aboard Mr.. Martin says would you
hold the train till he kin change his
clothes, and he'll be along in a few
minutes2'
For sure said the conductor, in
a matter-Of-fact way. And we waited
for FIVE minutes before Mr. Martin
turned up in his Sunday raiment-"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
Threw Away His Chances.

President Fish of the Illinois Central
railroad tells the following tale Of his
college days: Some Of his classmates
went to spend the week end" at Gar
rison's, and amused themselves on
Saturday evening with q little game
Of poker. On Sunday they we're ali
assembled in the Fish family pew
when the rector assembled the pulpit
and gave out this text, And Ephraim
went out with a full hand"
One Of the young cOllegisns leaned
over to Nj Fish and whispered:
Say, Stuyv, what a ID fool Eph-
rain was New York Times.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

SLpLAAEAAlr 1872 - -A-G E7A--- - III ,
There is a little taxidermist's shop
on Fourth avenue which is a curious
place. It is very dusty and very full
Of strange fowl, tucked in, one behind
the other, on shelves that cover all
Of one side Of the room, and on the
other a Wizened little old man sits all
day long beside a pile of most evil
smelling skins and dispenses words
Of wisdom to whoever cares to listen.
One day when Marriott ran into the
shop before dinner he found the old
man in ecstacies over a new birdskin
that has just been brought in. It was
large and dirty and exceedingly ugly
and it had a particularly evil smell;
but it was rare, and Marriott looked
it over respectfully.
Where did you say this bird came
from?" he asked
The old man stopped washing the
birds legs and began to recount its
history. The skin had been brought
to him by a sea-captain, he said-Cap-
tain TOurjee, Of the Mary Ann Salters
from South America. Yes, he wss
sure he was still in town; would Mr..
14dLAAOLL AAhC his duuLES5- MI MAI
riOtt, it appeared, would like it very
much indeed. He took it down care
fully, wrapped the lump Of dirt in his
handkerchief and walked swiftly away
down the street, leaving the little tax
idermist staring after him with Won
dering eyes.
Reginald Ernest Marriott, not long
since graduated as a mining engineer
from the College Of Applied Science,
had his own way to make in the
world and nothing to make it with
but brains. Il is true that he came
Of an ancient family, whose name had
survived its prosperity, and that this
connection let him into as much New
York society as was good for him;
but nobody felt called upon to assist
him in any more practical way than
by inviting him to dinner, and this,
as it happened, was a very serious
matter, for there was a woman in
the case. It was Edith Whyard, the
only daughter Of Mr.. G. c. Whyard,
who lived on Madison avenue and had
an Office on Broadway and was report
ed to be a multi-milliOuaire. Though
no one seemed to know exactly the
source Of his income, his style Of liv-
ing bore out the assertion, and on
the strength Of it Mrs. Whyard was
making an attack upon the portals OF
society. Naturally, when il became
apparent to her maternal eye that
her daughter was allowing her affec-
tons to drift in that improbable d.
rectiOn, she looked with extreme dis
appreciation upon young Marriott, and
her husband had for him the pro-
found contempt Of the practical man
for the man Of schools and theories.
Matters were in this state when
the young man paid his visit to the
taxidermist's shop and saw the bird
with the muddy feet. That night he
worked hard in the small laboratory
be had fitted up in his room, wrote g
letter to Edith, packed his possessions
and paid his bills, and the next morn
ing at daybreak he sailed out Of New
York harbor in a south-bOund steam
er, with hope in his heart, q wisp Of
blonde hair in his watch-case and a
lump Of black mud in his coat pocket
It was a year after this and the
grass was green again on Madison
square before news was heard Of him.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

How Our Farmers Are Handicapped.
The tarin tax on implements and
tools bears most heavily upon the
farmer. All, OF nearly all, Of these
articles-plows, cuItivatOrs, harrows,
planters, drills, hoes, EhOvels, axes,
wrenches, scales, saws, barb-wire,
wire nails. etc.-are sold at greatly
reduced prices to foreigners. Our far
mers. when they sell wheat in Eng
land. compete with the wheat from
the Argentine and from Australia Our
wheat growers are greatly handi-
capped in this competition by three
facts: ID They have to pay about 25
per cent more for their fmpleme its
and tools. all made in America, than is
paid for these same implements and
tools by their foreign competitors;
(9) they have to bear the burden Of
othe-. protective tariff taxes which IN
necessarily increase the cost Of hv-
ing and Of producing wheat; (3) the
railroads over which our farmers must
ship wheat pay about 25 per cent more
for steel rails and many other ma
terials than IS paid for these same
materials. all made in America, BY
the railroads over which Inc wheat
OF Argentine and Australia is shipped
As If this were not sufficient handi-
cap upon our farmers, it is now pro
posed BY the political statesmen in
control Of this beneficial system OF
protection to further tax our farmers
to provide subsidy for ships. Should
subsidy prevail and this new tax be
levied, as is promised By the Repub-
Iicans, American built ships, drawing
heavy subsidy, might replace the for
eigu ships now engaged in trade be
tween this and foreign countries
These foreign ships. in their search
for cargo, would look to other eoun-
tries, such as Australia and the Argen-
tine Composition in the ocean carry
ing Of the grains and meats Of those
countries would be very great and
would result IN benefit TO the farmers
Of those countries
Our farmers are foolish 10 support
a system Of protection which op-
crates to their disadvantage, as con-
pared with their foreign competitors.
in producing and Transporting prod
uets By land. They viii be absolute
-ehumps@ If they vote to tax them
selves still more in order to give their
foreign competitors an advantage in
ocean TRANSPORTATION
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
THE YOUNG MAN IN POLITICS.

The Future Is in His Own Hands
Protection or Freedom
A great effort has been made BY
the Republicans to control the young
men who wiz cast their first vote
for president this year. Documents
have been prepared especially for that
purpose and distributed By the Pro
tectfve Tariff League These are art
fully written and would deceive even
older heads than the first voters IN
less well grounded in the faIlacies and
folly OF protection The promise OF
big wages Is an aIluriRg bait TO catch
the young nan who IS intent on pleas
ure OF to save enough TO start IN bust
ness for himself The corresponding
and even greater cost OF living does
not affect the young nan as It does
those with a family to support High
trust prices do not impair the income
OF the young man as they do the
father Of a family.
But the Republican system OF pro
lection Is more disastrous 70 the
Young mar than 70 his father. The
frst voter has to vim hls way to IT,
dependence and be finds ehe taria
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

II IS announced that Capt Dreyfus
and his wife intend to visit the St
Louis fair He wishes to travel IN
coznfto, but II is not believed he win
be able TO do so. he has repeatedly
expressed bOmdless gratitude for the
sympathy shown him By the people
and press Of this country IN the tine
Of his trouble years ago He thinks
the moral effect Of American nsWEpa-
per tax on his behalf vas incaIcEf.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
LIES Sunshine.

Let in q little sunshine
Each day on some dark LIE.
The worlds in need Of light let thine
Clean brightly through the strife!
A gentle word is better
Outlines than gift OF gold
A smile may break the fetter
That long some heart did hold
Few rarsr gifts are ours
Than haud-Clasps warmly given
And Kind deeds are the flowers
That make OF earth a heaven
So let each passing dET
Record some kind Geed Done.
CO smiling. giving all lhy way
BE Of thy world the sun
Leigh Mitchell Hodges.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
= EEAlKY - A2LIOX

Pub. Co. can rights reservedO
America last winter; nobody else
knew about it, so 1 went down at
once and discovered the place. only
brought up a few thousand dollars
worth, but I have half a ton in dust
and nuggets all ready down there, and
the rivers are full OF it. But what's
the matter, sir?"
Whyard had turned pale, and sank
back in his chair. He reused him
self, however, and questioned the
young man quietly enough In what
part Of South America is that?" SAID
he
Southern Patagonia, not far from
Magellan Straits and near the coast
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

It is just beginning to dawn on Ko-
rea that the japanese are like other
notwithstanding that the KO-
reans should have what is left of their
own country after Japan has had what
* wants.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The new Duchess Of ROxburghe is
reported to be winning golden Opin-
ions in England on account Of her
contributions to charities Evidently
she has found that purchasing a duke
let is not enough to get one into the
choicest circle Of society.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

This little difference Of opinion be
tween Great Britain and Russia may
yet inspire RudyaFd Kipling to hand
out another hot one which VIII permit
The atmosphere to clarity while those
IN authority are explaining that he
certainly must have meant some one
else.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The Chicago bridegroom who at
the altar said mol" and then fed VIII
probably find a variation in his case
Of the old proverb. that he who courts
and runs away viii 90 to court some
other day.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Brazil and Peru threaten to settle
a dispute by war. They had better
wait until Japan settles her contrO-
versy with Russia If they start up
their performance now they viii play
to empty benches.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Gabrielle d'Annunzio, the Italian
dramatist, replies to all requests for
ed TO furnish it, but only upon copy
Of his works Sig d'AnnunziO clearly
possesses more than one kind OF gen
ius.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The evangelists who are laboring
for the moral and spiritual advance
ment Of New York city point hope
fully to the circumstances that the
400 have been reduced to 200.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

In three months the railroads Of the
United States have killed nearly 1000
persons Travelling is becoming al
most as dangerous as celebrating the
Fourth
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The American Domestic League
claims that it turns out fine cooks.
Send their addresses along This is
not one Of those cases where you
should hide your light under a bush
eI -
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
carr If the Hair.

II Is now generally agreed that many Ct
the shampoos in use are injurious % the
hair The best treatment IS frequent
brushing and abs0Iute cleanliness Wash
rinse thoroughly. Let the last water be
cool as II closes the pores OF the skin and
pie'e-'' - ELEANOR R PARKER
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

That Eastern professor who says
We all eat too much doubtless has an
assured income and a good appetite.
Or perhaps he's keeping his wife's
folks.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Those of US who aren't in the least
alarmed by the reports Of counterfeit
800 notes begin to prick up our ears
when we read that bogus quarters
and half-dOIlars are in circulation.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Dorothy has baby brother who has
recently been 81 with the coming
through OF his first teeth. The bald
ness Of babyss head has caused Doro-
thy great anxiety. She stood At the
mothers knee one daT gently pattinF
the little head BE careful, Dorothy
said the mother. you know brother
is sick. He is cutting teeth. Doro-
thy pattsd the bald head redectiEsly.
Mamma" she said, win It make him
sick when he cuts his hair?"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Judge-'Wss there any other body
with you in this? Did you commit the
robbery quite alone?"
PrisOner-"Quite alone, my lord
You see, the trouble about having
partner in an affair like this is that
you can never tell whether he is hon
est or not
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

A restaurant keeper recently deereed
that the girls waiting on his tables
should dispense vita their pompa-
dours. IN twenty minutes there vas
net q p0npadour n the establishment
Tas-e wasn't a girl there. either.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The people who hoped for a national
theater are disappointed to discover
that Mr.. Carnegie is not out on a few
erish chase for any project that is sus-
ceptible Of endowment.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

A new invention known as the tele-
criptOgTaph reprOdUces in print con-
veTsatiOns over the telephone. A good
many Of EN- viii have TO be barred
from the mails.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Kuroki and Kuropatzin may be
merely holding CT the big battle till
they can find some place with a
wholly new and unprOnOunceable
name to fight it in.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The Savannah Press says that "he
who plants q tree plants love" Love
unfortunately happens to be a plant Of
slow growth.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

How time flies! In a month OF so
all the little George Dewey Smiths
and George Dewey Browns will be
celebrating their sixth birthdays.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

A freak Of fashion has made calico
gowns the popular thing; but lot OF
pessimistic married men fear that the
situation is too satisfactory to last.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Even if Dom Paul Kruger did leave
a fortune Of S5,OOO,OOO to the lucky
EIon family, he was nevertheless an
object for universal sympathy.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26
s1.-z o. ono. cIrT o. TolzbO. :.

~ " 49, 49, - y 49, S.
FaAxK J. CErSET mEEeu osth thas BE q eezioc
parsuer q he Arm OF 2 J. CzEEET 8 Co, ding
bushes a thS CITY Of Tci-do. County a1d STATE
eforesEld. AID that sid I'm Eil pay The su1a q
OEE HUNDRED DOLLAES FOR each ara eTesy
case of CkTAEEE that cannot Be cured ~ the q
HALL's CATAEEE cUEE-
swon 20 before ne and subscribed n ny lres
ence- this etb day q December, A. D. Isss-
sIlL EoTarT pvrr,s.
Hairs CatErrh Cure Sc taken internally and scta
directly On the blood and mucous surfaces e The
uyEtsl- send fer teEriucni alE. free-
2. j. CHENEY 8 CO., Tosoan, O.
Sold b. an Druggists. Sc
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Very likely a flying machine that
cost only SO would ny Just as well as
any other kind
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

That New York woman who swOre
that her husband had beaten her 1,04O
times certainly has a striking talent
for figures.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

$500 per ". Lewis Single Binder,
straight SC cigar, costs the dealer some
more than other Sc cigars. but the hlghez
price enables this facsory 20 use hiEheI
grade tobacco. Lewis Faebory, Peoria IL
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Heinze, the Montana copper king,
has been sued for $3.50, 900. Even
the weII-tO-dO are not exempt from
petty annoyances.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

New York is to have a liquor show.
Evidently that town has given up all
hopes Of ever being able to capture a
prohibition convention.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Also be It remembered that the
Yale-HaTTard teams are not by any
means the pick Of our college athletes.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

No tears viii be shed over the
wounds Of those Spaniards who were
hurt while gOading a bull and a tiger
to fight
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

IAN sure Piso's Cure for Consumption ssved
ny life three years aZo.-1LEs- TEOs- RCEsLzz
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Mrs. Newrich Tin art store)-Pd take
this picture. but some person has been
scribbling on It Sslesman-But, mad
am, that is the artists signature.
Mrs. Newrich-TeIl, he's got his nerve.
Still, guess you could scratch it out,
couldn't you2
TOmmy-Smokin' cigarettes is dead
sure to hurt yer.
Jimmy-G'on! Where did yer git
dat notion?
Tommy-From pop
Jimmy-Aw! he wuz jist stringin'
yer.
Tommy-No, he wasn't stringin' me;
he wuz strappin' me. OATS how
knows It hurts.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The car doesn't play poker any
way, but even if he did, you couldn't
persuade him that four Of kind beats
one heir.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The last new thing in words 81
melody.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

What a jolly world this would be If
every man came up 70 the standard q
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

IS because made by an entirely different
process Defiance Starch is unlike any
other. better and one-third more Tor 1e
cents
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Perhaps we have all been unjust to
Uncle Russell Sage Maybe he can't
AFFORD TO take a vacation.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The bicycle built for two Is q thing
Of the past. but the hammock con
tinues to hold its own
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

It's difficult thing for some men to
see the point Of a joke and likewise
Just as dificult for them to get over
IL after they tumble.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Many a man who takes himself seri-
ously IS regarded as a huge joke By
others.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

The financial editor is not necessar-
fly pedantic, but he is apt to indulge in
EQUATIONS.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Nh. WfnsIowSG soothfnE STRIP
Per etfztren aeelhsnT Eaftsrg ths 1T1a, Fsdzcas =
aazEsro., azTs -. curu1 Eiad coiie- Sss bosEle-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-08-26

Hour Of midnight Makes the bet with
Poker game. Quiet glee.
Quarter limit Bet Is raised
Rather tame Quarter more
First man antes- Seen-then raised
Second STAYS. Same as before.
Dealer promptly Dealer stubborn.
Names a raise First man drops.
Age considers Second hand just
Then makes good Calls and stops
Second trails as Pat handZ Caesar
PLAYER should What BLUM!
Age draws three Pair of queens TO
Cards u pair- Win the stuff
Second holds up Two-card draw
Kicker there Rakes in the pile
Dealer plays Sevens 10 were
Cards he's dealt Worth his while.
Waits until his First man silent
Pulse is felt Not q frOWn-
Man who drew two Three good deuces
Cards 10 three He threw down
New York Times.