The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-08-28
MR.. . q OIL
- ON x
T II = M n r
BY F. P. DUNNE.
Copyright, 1904, by Mcclure, Phillips & Co.

How is tn war comm on?" asked
Mr.. Hennessv.
Nicely, thank We FIR askin'," said
Mr.. Dooley. 9TH Rooshyans is sweep
in ivrything befure thin in their mad
rush to Saint Petersburg. Their navy
has been uniformly VICTORIOUS, in
some cases BLOWN up higher thin tn
wurrulds record an in other cases
batin' all previous time out to see
an back again. Port Arthur has fall
en- as often as a graduate iv tn Kee-
ley cure. Tn Gar has issued a ukase
which is tn main nourishment iV tn
common people iv Rooshy, a blessing
an an ikon to each recroot. If it
wasn't FIR tn Rooshyan belief in tn
ikon, / don't know how long tn Gar
wud last, Hinnissy. That's a Joke.
Look it up. Tn lille subjecks iv tn
Car who ar-re bein' STINT out to die
FIR their country which is on'y theirs
Whin they ARE away fightin' FIR it.
has thanked tn Car at a thremen-
jous blowout FIR wan iv his principal
advisers. But tn Car won't know
much about tn war firm now on. |
seen it in tn pa-aper tn other day
that they was BORN to his impeeryal
highnesS Gin-ral Alexis Alexandra
Witch NIichaelovitch Johnovitch Ter
enenclovitch Willum J. Gar. Mr.. an
Mrs. Car both dom well. He was
BORN a Rooshyan gin'ral, mind We.
It's a heavy handicap to start with,
but he may live it down whin he ac-
quires sinse. An firm now on tn
Gar will have enough on his hands
without thinkin' iv tn war TIL
baby ought to take the measles about
TIL time tn Japs takes Moscow.
They're gr-reat people, thin Japs.
I used to look down on thin. Who
was tn hero that opened thin up to
Westhren civilization? frget. 1 niver
raymimber a heros name or f'rget q
towards Such is fame. But he ought
to have a leather medal firm Rooshya.
He opened Japan up tn way a burglar
opens a safe. There it shtud an says
Westhren Civilization to itsilf: There
mus be something in this. Well blow
the dure Off We opened it up, Hin
Missy, an what did we find? Ditictives
no less. Twas as though we shud
blow a sthrong box lookin' FIR threas-
ure an out shud step a foorce iv Pin
kertons, grab We by tn neck an say:
Come along with us. We want to see
tn tools We didn't go in. There
wasn't room They come out. Whin
I was a young man l niver see a, Jap.
I havn't seen anything else FIR tin
years. TIL first thing they got was
pair iv specs an they bought betther
vans thin l use Thin they begun run
min around over tn wurruld, findin
out what was goin' on. No wan thried
to stop thin. What harm cud they
do thin cunnin little fellows barely
up to tn waist band iv a Rooshyan?
Our idee iV a gr-reat man is a tall
man, which let's out Napoleon Bony-
parte an Young Corbett. an let's in
Fairbanks. TIL Jap is tn ony person
] know iv that's harmed anything In
recent years. He learned ivrything
that was known by Impror Willum. tn
Gar Prisidint Rosenfelt, Charley
Schwab. J. w. Gates, Herr Krupp,
Mrs. Eddy. Nels Norris, Cap. Mahan,
tn American Can Comply, tn Au-
thors' Society. Thomas Edison. Willum
Marconi. Jawn Hay an Doctor Nun
inthreStin' an Wint home. He carried
his satchel to tn McAdoo or chief
ruler iv Japan, who rayceived him
dhressed in a plug hat an a kimono
to show tn English anbassadure an
tn Gawd Boodha that he played no
favorites. Little insects in tn cheese
says that mighty potintate, we have
done well. Go an die where We will
An he gave thin each a handsome
pair ov congress CATERS an stint thin
on their way Thin he r-read tn doc
ymints, an says he to himsilf: We've
been opened on a bluff he says. It's
all a matther iv tools. Be hivens I'll
start a masheen shop an whin I'm
ready I'll sarve notice on this here
Westhren civilization that I decline
amy longer to be threated as jack
not