The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-02-21

9OONEY JESSAP'S lifelong anlDl-
ton mad been to became famous
swallower, a swallower, mind
NFkYxl YOU, of nails and broken glass and
~ burning kerosene, toothpicks and
pins and other such trihes. And Cooney got
an early start. AS a mere infant he made
a speciality of tacks and buttons, and once,
while still toddler, he swallowed a five
dollar gold piece, which was recovered with
great difficulty because his mother needed
the money.
II was all a mere matter of perseverance.
Other infants have had Cooney's tastes
and early opportunities in this line, but
after a few spankings they became discour-
aged. Not so Cooney. At the age of nine
teen he was such an expert that the Jes-
saps made him eat his meals in the barn
with the horse and the cow. They didn't
mind, out there, whether he crunched bones
or swallowed them whole. BY this time
his whole interior was as callous as the
hoof of a mule, and he couldn't get SEN
sation on his inside with anything short
of a chestnut burr.
but what's tn use?" complained Cooney.
"All tn circuses this years got good.
swallerers, or else'n they got snake eaters
Them snake eaterss ruinin' tn business.
It's blame discouragin! Here 1 been a
plannin' t be a public character an wear
a swaller-tail coat, an make folks gap
an gals gigsle. It's e'enamost enough t
make a Teller give UP tryin' t. make any,
thing out'n hisself!''
The girls-there was the rub! He had
arrived at the age when a girl, any girl.
could take on a ten-stone handicap and
saunter under the wire, dry and cozy, while
all the rest of creation was fiddling around
at the quarter pole. fighting for second
place But they couldn't see Cooney, any
of them. In vain he thought up new and
awful feats of swallowing. These triumphs
of his art seemed only to make greater
gap between himself and the giggling brig
ade. Such is the common fate, however, of
genius and ability.
1t was Professor Puddlowitz who finally
shed light, real light, on Cooney's pathway.
The professor came to town along about
corn-husking time to give a lecture on
radium. He had about a thousand dollars
worth of the stuff, in a glass tube about
the size of a Tom Thumb pickle, and he
showed it, by way of advertising. to a group
in the Grand Central Palace Hotel.
Gentlemen said he, this marvellous
substance is the most dangerous and deadly
element ever discovered by science. AT the
town hall tonight, admission % cents for
adults and 10 cents for youths, children in
arms admitted free, L will show you some
of it's remarkable properties. The small
amount which you see in this tube would
accomplish the death of an untold number
of men. It's mere touch scorches the flesh
like a red hot iron, and even the smallest
portion of il, if swallowed, would scar the
lining of the stomach like living fire."
Cooneys professional pride f1ared at this
last statement.
81 cud chaw up tn glass an swaIler tn
whole thing an never blink an eyer he de-
clared.
my friend" said the professor. with a
smile and wink at the crowd as he placed
the tube in Cooney's calloused palm, "try
itr'
1t was q bluff that failed.
Cooney, with a grin of triumph, tossed
the tube into his mouth as if it was
quinine capsule. gave two or three vigorous
chomps and a mighty gulp, and rubbed his
stomach with delight. 1t the first really
active sensation he had taken into his midst
for many a day. The professor gasped and
turned pale. and tottered straight to his
II.
When he got out two weeks later Cooney
had absorbed all that radum into his sys-
TEN.
You can't tell what radium is going to do.
The first noticeable action of the thousand
dollars worth of it on Cooney was to make
him a human electric lantern. one that
couldn't be turned out Up to this moment
his own mother was the only person who
had ever believed him a bright lad but now
everybody in Dozeville had to admit that
he was. You could notice il even in the
daytime, but at night he glowed away like
a four-carat diamond a coal HEAVIER
Right through his clothes, too. You could
read by him.
More startling than that, however was
the fact that you could see clear inside
him. 1t made him very interesting COM
panion He'd sit there. talking away. Off
hand, about nothing in particular, and all
the time you could see his works plugging
away, hour by hour, like a dollar watch
There's no counting the number OF lost and
missing things the Jessaps located inside OF
him after that
OF course Cooney's fortune was as good
made. Professor Muddlewitz. as soon as
he got well, was determined TO take him
around the country and give lectures In
fact the professor even set up strong
legal claim to him. on account of the
Tadium, but Cooney just laughed at him and