The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
COLONEL BUNKER.
he Tells About His Gallinipper Bill
in the Legislature.

"I had a certain thing in my mind
long enough befo' I was elected to the
legislature" said Colonel Bunker, as he
lighted his cigar and tilted his chair
back on its hind legs. Let me ask 20,
sub. if yo' have ever met up with the
gallinipper?''
Yes. I have" was the reoIy.
Then yO' are aware. sub. that he is
an insect about three times as big as
the ordinary mosquito, and about twice
as large as the average hornet. He is
combination hard to beat. He has
the perseverance Of the mosquito and
the ferocity of the hornet, and when he
gets IN his work the man Weighing 200
pounds meets with just as much of a
surprise party as the boy weighing 80.
l had felt him. suh-fe.t him on nu-
merous occasions. and had tried to
fgure out method of lesSening his
numbers or destroying him altogether.
1t was only when elected to the senate
of my state that I brought this method
forward as a bill. It was termed the
Gallinipper bill. and was received with
shouts of derision. Not one senator out
of a dozen would credit me with serious
Intentions. Did you ever hear of that
bill, Suh?"
mo. I never did"
Then let me explain. The idea in
brief, was to let the insects thrive and
increase until they would eat each
other I'D and thus become exterminat
ed. I figured out that this would come
J
bill made it a misdemeanor to kill u
gallinipper except in self-defense. No
sooner was my bill introduced than
became a butt of ridicule. l let the
their way for a few days, and then
called on Senator Jackson, who was
laughing the loudest and the longest
and observed:
{" Senator. have yo' noticed what
clear. beautiful morning this is?'
I have he says.
It's Just the morning for a stroll
out to Johnson's grove, and if yo' are
not provided with hair-trigger pistols
yo' can take yo'r choice of mine
" You don't mean a duel?' he asks.
as he changes color.
" That's what 1 had in mind, Sen
vious engagement
" But why a due1?'
" Because of my Gallinipper bill. To
make it excruciatingly funny we must
Introduce a duel scene. Can yo' spare
the time this maWnin'. suh?'
THE senator was game" said the
Colonel, land we were soon walking
through the town arm in arm. He
saw that was in earnest and he didn't
disappoint me. We picked up a. gentle
man on the way to second us both,
and when we fired the Senator went
down with a bullet in his shoulder. 1
could have put it through his head just
as well, but did not feel ferocious. 1t
was while I was escorting him back
to town in a carriage that he asked me
to explain the bill to him, and when I
had done so he shook hands with me
and said:
=" Colonel, the idea is positively stu
pendous, and if properly worked out
will kill off every gallinipper in the
state of Mississippi, and put every man,
woman and child under lasting obliga-
tions to yo'.'
"Of cose the affair of the duel leak
ed out. Certain Senators and news
papers suddenly discovered that there
was no longer a humorous side to my
bill, but others persisted in making it
a source of amusement. About a week
after the meeting with Senator jack
son 1 made a call upon an editor who
had chara cterized me as the humoriSt
of Mississippi. I found him in, and
told him that I had something very
funny to relate. When he asked what
it was replied: