Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23

make de ole fashioned folks open DER
eyes. From whar l stand / kin per-
ceive dat
'Waydown Bebee am wearin' a di-
mund pin dat nebber cost less'n fo'
dollars.
"Giveadam Jones has squeezed dem
big feet Of his into a pair of patent
leather shoes dat cost de same an am
maxim cripple of him.
Samuel Shin has got dollar shirt,
a fifty cent necktie an cuffs good huff
fur millionaire.
"Kurnel Johnson has got a watch dat
cost him $40 an a chain dat cost 81
mo-, an IS swellin' around as if he
owned de club.
abraham Lincoln Jones has bios
sOmed out in sky blue necktie an
dimund pin, an he must have five cent
cigars or none t ALL
"Eben Elder Penstock, dat ole, gray
headed patriarch who used to be salts
fed wild straw hat in January an
shoes Wdout heels, now comes march
in into dis hall wild de latest thing in,
SHOeS all q reg ldI pug nat.
when / take my leetle daily walks
I are invited into de house of Brud-
der Johnson. At de parlor windows
I behold lace curtains. , On de parlor
floor | behold real carpet. On de
mantel behold cuckoo clock. | am
invited to sit down on a stuff cheer,
an Mrs. Johnson brings me in a glass
of beer an hunk of frosted cake.
jist sot dar wild my eyes buigin' out
an can't say word. Brudder John
son amt airnin' but $40 a week, an
how does he git all dat luxury? If
his ole fadder an mudder, who libbed
up to twenty vars ago, had woke up
some mawnin' an found dat cuckoo
clock cuckooin away in Gle parlor dey'd
have fallen ODER dead.
"De next house | go into am Brud-
der Simpsons, an | am skassly inside
when / see a parlOr organ standin' up
as bold as a hill, an dar am a rug on
de fioah plenty good huff fur a kings
palace | are offered wine an angels
food yere an | also learn dat Brudder
Simpson am spectin' to buy a rewOlvin'
bookcase an de works of all de poets
dis winter OATS Brudder Simpson,
an he Arms $40 week in wood yard
His ole fadder am libbn' yit, but he
won't lib two days arter seem dat re-
wolvin' bookcase go rewolvin' around.
II call at de house of Brudder Cabiff
to see if his baby am better of de
Group, an | find mo- stuff cheers, mo-
princely rugs an mo- righteousness.
He has chen got an extension table an
sidebo'd i'll de dinin' room. [ are
offered a milk punch an sweet biscuit,
but | can't eat nor drink. sare ali
choked up wild surprise an wonder.
"On de, street de same day | meet
Guild women wheelin DER pickanin-
MES in ten dollar baby keeridges, while
de mudders am carryin' fo' dollar para
soils an dressin' silks. l don't faint
away at de sight, but l do git SIGH
wobble in my knees dat l have to lean
up ag'in de fence to rest befo' | kin go
on.
"All around me | h'ar about dis man
gwine to de races, dat man rentin' a
pOstoffis box an some odder man buy
in a fifteen dollar obercoat. Widin de
last month, 'cordin' to my own knowl
edge
de wife of Abraham Green has
giben a high tea.
"De wife Of Professor Comeback has
giben a birthday party,
DE wife of Samuel Shin has giben
an ice cream social.
de wife of Plutarch Jones has giben
a progressive euchre, wild silver sugar
bowl as first prize.
Ode wife of Cicero White has giben
readin's an recitations, wild music on
de parlor organ.
"De daughter of Moses Slowfoot has
dun got married off, an mo- dan fo'
quarts of oysters was used up to make
de weddin' soup.
'"These things have l seen an heard,
my frens, an is it any wonder dat
feel my HAIR tryin' to stand on end?
Extravaganza here, extravaganza dere.
extravaganza on cherry hand 1t was