New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-06-13
THE Talk OF THE DAY.

Down IN Kentucky not long ago" SAYS a Chi
cago travelling man. in The Record-FTeraId" II
saw IN front OF a IN one OF the small towns a
sign which read: Paints. Oils. Hardware Books
and Stationery had a rather long and tedious
trip before me and. desiring something 20 read on
the way. I went in. DO you happen 10 have any
OF the vest pocket classics IN stock asked tho
proprietor. No. amt got any OF them lust now.
he replied. "but show you hip-pOcket Colts ~
that'H do. And IL you'll take my advice you won't
waste any money on a vest-pocket classic fob use
IN thee pahts-'"
Willing Victim. -she-when Sc. my face against
Hs-would you-er-rnind setting your face
against Tline?-(Chicago News.
A handed proprietor OF the government Of Uta
Russia tells this story; ~ typical German trckster
arrived village OF Anastasevka April Il
and announced that the first japanese prisoner
coming along in an iron box. and that IL the
Mir communal counciD voted a sum OF two rubles
the peasants would be allowed 10 hear him squeal
for mercy and sfterward sing his national war
song. The Mir apparently voted the money. for the
performance was in fun progress outside the state
public house when arrived on a table in the
roadway small box. from trumpet affixed
TO which issued in good but s1ueaky English the
famous Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay.'"
Observation-Disclosures fashionable auction
Amateur Collector after taking advice OF Expert
No. l. addresses Expert No. 2l-Whst DO you think
Of the picture? l am advised 10 buy it, Is ii not
Expert 80. 2 Cwishing, to please both paEtes,-,I.
II isn't a Titan. it's a Repe-titon--Punch.
Mainly About People" tells that a young Ameri-
can woman wished to be presented at the court OF
the King OF Saxony The high officials. having In
CURED into her social standing AZ home. objected.
They represented TO her that the King could scarce
~ receive the daughter of a retail bOotnaker. The
young woman cabled home. and told her father the
eff he
answer: Cant call It selling. Practically giving
them away See advertisement" That solved the
din Guilty. She presented as the daughter OF
eminent phlanthropist.
THE NoRsK NIGHTINGALE.
Tai me not; va knocking ,s.d faIlers.
Ef yu try Yohn Yohnsons scheme.
Srk han b STs TaS ap on soo
He ban yust so glad in morning
AS all his work. ban tru-
Work" say Yohn. ban. vat yu max it
Ell yu tenk yure work. ban hard
Yq skol having plainly ant, he"d i..3,
Grab my shovel and my pick.
Eff ay du IT purity dviek"
Yohn ban foreman over falIers
lie ant have 10 work. yu see,
But wa bet he ant no loafer
And he yust digs in. by zee!
Listen, Olaf. he skol tai me.
And the hardest yOb ban easy
IF yu only Gu Il Qvick'
Let us den be op and humping.
Always glad TO pillow tru drift:
Ven work. ban done, den let us
Give some oder faller lift
Den az bet VII old 81. Peter
lie skOl tenk we're purity slick
We can 60 tru Gates aye bet you,
Ell only du II qvicN!
-(AIilwaukee Sentinel
IL Is usually considered that the difficult problem
IN getting married Is IN finding to have
YOU in Pennington, Me, IL is different. accord
ing To THE Kennebec Journal" There 10 both are
win' and so signify 10 the Town Clerk. it does
settle the matter. proved In two different in
stances recently. In case the Selectren OF the
town interfered: in the second instance. where the
wouid-be bride had been widow Just fourteen
days a written notice filed with the Town
Clerk worded as follows: ITO Louis Voter Town
Clerk: We hereby file the following caution with
you issue a certificate to and -. for
this reason. that Mrs. IS husband has lust
passed away. and his mother feels very much
grieved In having the marriage take place at pres
emit" Signed BY six names.
You must not expect me 90 give up my girIhoods
ways all at once said the happy bride.
"Oh, won't" he replied. II hope you'll keep
right on taking allowance from your father
lust as II nothing had happened Superior (Wis)
Telegram.