Valentine Democrat. (Valentine, Neb.) 1900-1930, 1904-10-13
~~LN%~O~~o~

ant.--Memphis Commercial
Appeal.
Has your butcher discovered that
the beef strike is declared off?-New-
ark News.
Divorce has become a luxury that
even the poorest can enjOy.-Birming-
ham Age-Herald.
A corset trust is one Of the latest de-
vices for squeezinypoorp eople.-Mont
gomery Advertiser.
Most men are unable to ride in the
head carriage of the procession until
they die-AtchisOn Globe.
The hardest work on the Panama
canal is being done on the typewriter.
Newport News Times Herald.
J. Pierpont Morgan's money is go
ing to the dogs at the rate of $4,000
for four collies.-Rochester Post EX-
press.
A Chicago woman can whistle like
fife and her husband cackles about it
like a speckled hen.-Macon Tele-
graph.
Naturally enough, Admiral Schley is
being criticised for telling some more
truth about the naval battle.-The
COmmOner
1t seems the only really safe place
for the poor, prosecuted automobiles
is in the British diplomatic service
Atlanta Journal.
Five telephone girls resigned in
Pittsburg in order to marry. The rush
for their places was Notwithstanding
ham AgeHerald.
Carnegie is writing a book, but his
greatest fame arises from what he has
written in his Observation-Disclosures
News Times-Herald.
Joaquin Miller has drowned his muse
with $1,0OO,OOO worth Of oil. His re-
tirement comes high, but may be it is
worth it-Washington Times.
'New York has a boy who is not
happy unless he is whipped every
day" He ought to Join the Russian
army.-Richmond News-Leader.
DR.. Dowie will have hard time to
find II fakirs as adrOit as himself to
complete the roster Of his new apOs-
tles.-Birmingham Age-Herald.
Dowager Queen Margherita, of Italy,
has a lace handkerchief worth S10,-
600. Very few ladies can afford to
blow in that much.-Nyack Star.
An accordion player in New York
complains that a woman beat him
with a broomstick. She should have
taken an ax.-Augusta Chronicle.
"Why do the japanese win?' asks
the London Times. Well, one reason
is because the Russians lose; but there
may be others.-Washington Post.
There is a school in Philadelphia
which teaches brides the chatting dish
habit. And still we wonder at the
increase of divorces.-Chicago Jour
nal.
There are so many new fashions this
fall that it will take three or four
meetings Of the missionary society to
try out all of them.-BristOl (Va.) Cou-
rier.
Dowie may claim to be an apostle.
but he will have to offer better secu-
rity than that at a bank if he wants
to borrow money.-New York Com
mercial.
Nine. President Dressmakers urge
all ladies to make their belts dippy,
"the dippier the better" At last we
have heard the worst.-Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
A Mexican worth $3OO,OOO,OOO is WIS.,
iting the United States, and it never
occurs to any Of us to think that the
Mexican dollar is below par.-Atlanta
Constitution.
A contemporary asks, docs spell
binding pay?" There is quite preva-
lent impression that in a good many
cases it pays the spellbinder.-Rich-
mond News-Leader.
The missionaries have been killed by
the natives in German New Guinea,
and with this sacrifice civilization will
probably take another step forward.
indianapolis News.
1t is astonishing how much time
some people have to spare for the SUI
pervisfon of other peoples business,
and how we'll they do tin their
minds.-Binghampto Press.
A new use for trading stamps has
been found in Philadelphia. A Sunday
school in that city gives them out for
regularity Of attendance. This is put
ting a premium on godliness.-Provi-
dence Journal.
The Mayor Of Baltimore complains
because he has to sign about 300
checks a day. How much worse it
would be, though, if they were all
against his private bank account-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
Can it be that this General Corbin
who speaks out against the marriage
of young officers is the same General
Corbin whom the country short time
ago felicitated as a bridegroom? If so,
why ?-Philadelp Press.
The packers estimate that the meat