The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-06-04

Pupil - Why - er - Noah's wife,
Princeton Tiger.
Overflow do you know he Is hon.
est? Duell--He declined position in
the Postofflce Department-Life.
An odd notice has been seen over
shop In Cairo: II speak English and
understand American -Exchange.
Would you rather be right than be
PRESIDENT mo, but I'd rather be
wrong than be Vice President. Puck
Just Help Himself: He-If I tried
to kiss you would you call for help?
She-Would you need it?-Smart Set
The Fly-The moth seems very
grouchy. The Roach-Yes; he's been
chewing the rag all day-Princeton
Tiger
Naturally: $50 you reached the town
just after the cycloner Yes" How
did things lookY' Rather blew
Exchange
Has your father a bad coldT' mo.
indeed. He is merely reading the Rus
sian-Japanese war news aloud
Washington Star.
Reporter-Senator Bilkins has abso-
lutely nothing to say. Editor-Well.
boil It down. We are terribly crowd
ed to-night.-Puck.
Mr.. Sipp-Young man, how dare you
swear before my wife? Boy-How
did I know your wife wanted to swear
first Chicago Daily News.
Barker-This Is an age Of high civ
ilization. Parker-Oh. | don't know:
nearly everybody Is discussing how
much good the Russo-Japanese war
will do us.-Detroit Free Press.
Practical Aunt-Do you think you
are qualified to become the wife Of a
poor man. Sweet Girl-Oh, yes; It's ali
fixed. We are to live In a cottage, and
know how to make cottage pudding.
"A great actor Ia usually welded to
his art, is he not?' Yes" answered
Mr.. Stormington Barns; many OF
them are welded. But there is a great
deal Of incompatibility." Wa shington
Star.
Tramp-Td like to borry a medical
almanac, mum. Housekeeper-Wha
for Tramp wants ter see wot tn
doctors recommend fer an empty feel;
in In tn stummick-New York
Weekly.
Employer-And now that we are Ell
gagged to be married, l suppose | shall
have to hire new typewriter. Type
writer-NOt at all. dear. shall at
tend to the hiring Of your typewriters
after this.-Exchange.
Toogood-Jack. have you that two
pounds lent you the other day? Hard
pusht-Not all OF 1t, old chap. but what
| have left will do me day or two
longer. Very kind and thoughtful OF
you to inquire, though.
Going the Rounds Miranda ac-
cepted Mr. Mashleigh last night. and
he Is going to get the engagement ring
to-day. Muriel-Oh, he already has 1t.
l returned to him this morning the one
Nv BdNo
A Remedy: Grinder-What! asleep
at your desk. and work so pressingi
Meekly-Excuse me. sir, baby kept me
awake all night Grinder-Then you
should have brought 1t with you to the
office.-Town and Country.
Just a Hint: She-Mamma Is aw-
fully thoughtful. He-Indeed? She
Yes, indeed Why. for instance, she
would never think of coming into the
parlor when l have caller without
first OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Journal
The Doctors Successor.-"What
profession do You follow" asked at
torney for plaintiff. 1.-THE medical
profession" the witness answered.
"Are you a practicing physician mo.
sir" Then what do you mean by say
ing you follow the medical profess
sion?" ~ am an undertaken, sir
Brooklyn Eagle.
mister ledge" called out the col
ored witness, after he had been Oh the
stand a full hour, kin | say one word.
suhY' YES" replied the judge; what
ia itr Hits des dis sub: ef you'll
des make de lawyers set down en- keep
still two minutes. EN- gimme Twin
chance. I'll whirl In en- tell de truth. -
Atlanta Constitution.
Played on the Piano.-Mother ire
turning from a shopping tour)-For
goodness sake! What's the matter
with little Willie? New Nurse-'Tis
a bad boomp he got. ma'am. We
know, We told me Oh was to let him
play on the pianny, an onct whln he
was slidln' on the top of 1t. he slid too
far. Ma'am.-Philadelphia Press.
49,. l.hiId rom a 70 40 Xvau hahn vtal ~