Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1904-05-26

see me again, and in that old house.
II it is despair feel, then despair will
take me there. If 1t is repentance, then
repentance will suffice to drive me to
the one expiration possible to me-t0
perish where / caused an innocent man
to perish and so relieve you OF q wife
who was never worthy Of you ana
whom it would be your duty to de-
nounce if she let another sun rise upon
her guilt.
"a message was shouted through the
door-the message for which my ears
had been strained in dreadful anticipa-
ton for the last two hours. A man
named Pfe1ffer wanted to see me be-
fore I went down to be married-a
man named Pfeiffer!
81 looked closely at the boy who de-
livered this message. He showed no
excitement nor any feeling greater
than impotence at being kept waiting
q minute or SO at the door. Then
glanced beyond him at the people chat
ting in the hall. No alarm there; moth
ing but very natural surprise that
the bride should keep SO big crowd
waiting. I felt that this fixed the
event. He who had sent me this quiet
message was true to himself and to
our old compact. He had not publish
ed below what would have set the
house in IN uproar in moment. He
had left his secret to be breathed into
my ear alone. l could recall the mo-
ment he passed me his word and his
firm look as he said, with his hand
lifted to heaven: You have been good
to me and given me your precious self
while was poor and nobody. In re-
turn / swear to keep our marriage g
secret till great success shows me to
be worthy Of you or till you with your
own lips express forgiveness Of my
failure and grant me leave to speak.
Nothing but death or your permission
shall ever unseal my lips When
heard that he was dead feared lest
he might have spoken, but now that
other breast save his, my own and
that Of the unknown minister In an al
most unknown town dwelt any kn0wl-
edge Of the fact which stood between
me and the marriage which all these
people had come here to see My con-
fidence in his rectitude determined me.
Without \ conscious emotion, without
fear even-the ending Of suspense had
ended all that--I told the boy to seat
the gentleman In the library. Them
ITO turn and turn miserable crank
after those moments Of frenzied action
and silence-that was the hard part
that was what tried my nerve and first I
robbed me Of calmness. But dared
not leave that fearful thing dangling
there: I had to wind. The machinery
squeaked and its noise seemed to fill
the house, but no one came nor did the
door below open. Sometimes have
wished that it had. I should not then
have been lured on, and you would not
have become involved in my ruin.
81 am afraid to die, but am moro
afraid Of failing in courage. Ishall have
the pistol tied to me; this will make Il
seem inevitable to use it. oh, that tho
next twenty-four hours could be blot
ted out Of time! Such horror cannot
be. was born for joy and gayety, yet
no dismal depth Of misery and fear has
been spared me! But all on account Of
my own act. / do not accuse God; do
not accuse man: only accuse myself
and my thoughtless grasping after
pleasure.
II want Cora to read this as well as
you. She must know me dead as she
never knew me living. But I cannot
tell her that have left a confession
behind me- She must come upon Il
unexpectedly, just as ! mean you to do.
Only thus can it reach either Of you
with any power. II could but think
of some excuse for sending her to the
book where propose to hide it. That
would give her a chance Of reading II
before you do, and this would be best
She may know how to 1repare or com
fort you'll hope SO. Cora is noble
woman, but the secret which kept my
thoughts In such whirl has held Ms
apart.
''You did what asked. You found
a place for Raucher's waiter in the vol
unteer corps. Surprised as you were at
the interest expressed in him, you
honored my first request and said moth
ing. Would you have shown the same
anxious eagerness II you had known
why whispered those few words e
him from the carriage door, why !
could neither rest nor sleep till he and
the other boy were safely out OF town.
IL must leave line for you to show
to people if they wonder why killed
myself 80 soon after my seemingly
happy marriage. You will find II 10
the same book with this letter. Son
one will tell you to look in the books
cannot write any more.
II cannot help writing 1t IL all thar
connects me now with life and With
you. But have nothing more to say
except forgive-forgive-
''Do you think that God looks at his
wretched ones differently from what
men do? That he will have tendernes1
for one so sorry-that he will even
find place But my mother is there,
my father! Oh, that makes it fearful
to go-to meet--but it was my father
who led me into this-Only he did not
know There! I will think only OF
God.
"Goodby roodby--good'-
<To be continued)