The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1904-09-27
Joshua's Appendicitis.

Joshua's Appendicitis.
Joshua Fumbleberry, farmer, was
born with pain Sometimes it was.
in his stomach and sometimes it was
in his Imagination, but it was ubiq-
uitous. st
Joshua was not one that suffered in
silence, but was a devout apostle of
the philosophy of King Crony in
paroxysm of gout-''N Nature knows
best and she says, 'roari'"
Land a-goshen, Joshua" complain
ed his long enduring wife, yell be
havin' that there appendicitis in yer
mind some day, and the doctor won't
be able L do a thing fur ye, cause he
CANT operate on yer Imagination and
when ye git dead sot on it, nothin'
but an operation1l ever git ye over
IT."
you wimmen folks talk too much"
snarled Joshua holly, "but / s'pose ye
wouldn't be happy II ye didn't jam
about so much wind er missed a
revolution occasionally. When I'm
sick, I'm sick. amt I? Ye doan't
s'pose I'm sick cuz enjoy it, do yer"
That was the beginning.
"A man gifts mighty little sympathy
In this world" moaned Joshua at 10
p. m. two days later, when a sharp
pain attacked him in the left side
about three inches below and slightly
back of his lower vest pocket.
Deliberately at first, then with ac-
celebrated rapidity. the truth rushed
upon him. He had appendicitis
Go fer tn doctor, Mirandyl Go
quick!" he bawled. I've got it this
time sure. Eff should die" moaning,
"afore We git back. they's $40 hid in
the granary that We didn't know about.
an" holding his hand clasped close
ly over the pain, my Wills made out
and down t. Pikeyille in tn ONCE o.
Squire Diggem-
But go! Col" as Mirandy, her
arms akimbo. stood immovable Il an
attitude of gathering defiance.
Joshua Fumbleberry, We amt got
no more appendicitis than l hev, an
! amt goin' t make no dark ride o.
eight miles through mud and water
to git We doctor when We don't need
none. I've been a good an faithful
wife ter We and allus cared fer We
when ye wuz sick. but I'm through
chasin' pill peddlers Z fix up yer inn
agination, so there."
$50 there" was accompanied by a
determined stamp of the foot and
Joshua knew the ultimatum was final,
but his blood and his Imagination
were up. Besides, didn't he have Ap-
pendicitis and wasn't he at that very
moment man marked for the cold
and clamniy silence of the graveY
"Mirandy Fumbleberry," Joshua
spoke Intensely, "ef you don't git xhs
doctor fer me, afore midnight IN die
-er I'll git a divorce. an. an don't
keer which," $3.50
Take yer choice. Joshua" retorted
the wife stelidly. Take yer choices'
"Then--Tll-go-myself fer the doc.
tor, ~ he sobbed, jumping from the
sofa and shufiing into his overcoat.
EFF die ye1I be satisfied. but / ain't
goin' t die without a chance ter keep
ye from spendin' my money yet
awhilei Oh, Lordl. Oh. Lord! gimme
strength" he beseeched as. he feebly
passed out into the dooryard towaI>
the barn. i ifHs,,r
An hour later Doctor Phil Graves
OF Pixies Corners was aroused from
his II o'clock snooze by loud rap
ping. et-s s
ssCorna m c,,f - ;,,,,. ho,,so S.,,s,t.
Doc" shouted Fumbleberry through
the closed door. 'Tll order yer bosses
hitched as | go past tn. livery stable.
They Amt no time t losei"
Whose sick" queried Doctor
Graves. in the weird light at the top
of the stair case-but all he heard as
feet ciattered down the steps was:
4 "Out to Fumbleberry's, eight miles
north" and the rumbling of wheels
as the caller hurried away in the
darkness. -
s-,~ Muttering feFvent- anathemas upon
his Ill luck, Doctor Graves shufied
out of his pajamas and prepared a
hasty toilet for a cold and cheerless
ride over black and soggy roads.
Despatched and benumbed. he
reached the Fumbleberry home Just
as the kitchen clock struck the half
hour after midnight.
who's sick?" he queried, entering
the house and handing his coat to
Mrs. Fumbleberry. Il thought It must
be you. Got some company"