Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1904-07-29
SCARED OUT OF A WIFE


its frosty breath, that | was seated be-
fore a blazing fire, surrounded by a
81 Jolly half dozen boys and an old bach
s. elor, Peter Green, about forty and
q eight years old.
1t was just the night without to
make those within enjoy good story,
4 so each of us had to tell his favorite
4 story, save Mr.. Green, and as he was
a jolly story teller, we were somewhat
surprised to hear him say, II have no
story that would interest you," so we
had to find other entertainments for
while, when one of the boys told me
to ask him how it happened that he
never got married. SO l did.
"Well, gentlemen" he began, "it does
not seem right for me tell how that
4 happened but as it is about myself,
don't care much. You see when l was
young we had to walk.as far as five
8 miles to church. and singing school,
which was our chief enjoyment. But
8 this don't have anything to do with my
not getting Il wife, but I just wanted
s. to show you that we had some trouble
Il Inen1 DAYS III getting Jul spur
John Smith and were like broth
ers, or like Mary and her lamb
Where one went the other was sure to
go. SO we went to see two sisters, and
as we were not the best boys imagin-
able the old gentleman took umbrage
and would not allow us to come near
the house, so we would take the girls
would have to take the final kiss.
I'VE soon got tired of this sort of
fun, and | told John, on our way to
singing school one night, that l was
going to take Sadie home, and that /
was going into the house, too. He said
the old man would ruin us if l did.
Il told him 1 was going to risk 1t
anyhow, let come what would. He said
he would risk it if l would.
80 home we went with the girls.
When we got to the end Of the lane /
told the girls we proposed going all the
way
They looked at each other in way
1 didn't like too well, but said they
1.-THE old folks) would be in bed, so they
didn't care if we did. They were
little more surprised when told them
we thought of going in little while,
but all was quiet when we got to the
house, as we had no trouble in getting
into the kitchen. Then and there we
had our first court, and l made up my
mind to ask Sadie to be my wife the
next time l came.
"It was now past the turn of the
night, and as we had four miles to
walk I<told John we had better be go
ing. SO we stepped out on the porch.
but just then the sky was lighted up
by lighting, and one tremendous thun-
der peal rolled along the mountain
sides. Its echo had not died away in
s the far off wales until the rain began
to pour from the garnered fullness OF
4 the clouds. We waited for 1t to stop
until we were all sleepy, when the girls
said we could go to bed in the little
room at the head of the stairs which
led out Of the kitchen, as their father
did not get up early we could be at
home before the old folks We're astir.
So after bidding the girls good night,
and wishing them sweet dreams, and
promising them to Oeme back on the
next Saturday night, we started to
bed.
I'VE didn't have far to CO. as the bed
stood near the head of the stairs. John
was soon in bed, but as l was always
a little slow and full of curiosity, l
was looking around the little room.
AT last thought would sit down
on q chest, which was spread over
with a nice white cloth, while drew
off my boots, SO down I sat, when,
stars of the East! went plump into a
big custard pie!
Il thought John would die laughing,
) for he said smashed thai custard into
8 Il shapeleSS mass and the plate right in
s two. You see we had to be awful |
4 quiet so the old man would not hear. |
II was now ready to get into bed, so
q put the light out and picked up my |
boots, thinking to put them in more |
convenient place. when down one of |
my legs went through a pipe hole, |
which had beer covered by paper, up
q 10 my hip.
Now one part OF me was up stairs |
while the longest part OF me was in |
the kitchen. AS my leg was very long, |
1t reached a shelf which was occupied |
8 by dishes. pans, coffee pots, etc. and |
turned it over with a tremendous |
@crash
The girls had not retired, and we |
could hear them laugh fit to split their |
sides. felt awfuiIy shamed. and was |
scared until my heart was in my |
Throat, for expected the Old man ev- /
Ply moment
4 extricated my leg from the con-
FOUNDED hole just la time. for the old |