Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1904-10-24
BRAN AS FOOD.
John Quill Discourses on
the Latest Diet Fad.
Is a Change from Ground Corn
Cobs and BaIed Hay.
The Latest Discovery of a Benefactop
OF Mankind.

Of Mankind.
some kind hearted. near-siehted
philanthrorist. with bump of human
kndne.. bigger than summer
squash, and WhCsr aim in life appears
10 he solely to benefit the world at
large. and mankind in general. and in
directly cali attention to the guide
board that points out the way to a
long and happy life. free from care and
me tax Collector. has discovered that
we. as a nation. have for the past
twenty or thirty centuries. more or
less, or as far as he has been able to
sec with the aid of a sl.25 telescope.
been living %rong. and that our domes-
tic animals and beasts of burden had
been proiting by our oversight and
getting the best end of the bargain.
In other words, this long headed
philosopher discovered, or thinks he
has, the fountain head that supplies
the spring of perpetual youth, and is
anxious to spread the glad tidings. We
, have just passed TIN ough an era of silo
feeding with cereals and brown bread
toast. put up in convenient packages
to be carried in the pocket, ground corn
| cob that is masqueradng as the staff
of life, and baled hay in rolls and bis
| cults, for immediate use. In fact this
coarse stall feeding has been carried to
such an extent that man did not dare
to venture down town without a hitch
weight or binders. and had to be pas
tured in a box stall at night to keep
from having the nightmare, and even
then he whnnied whenever he heard a
peck measure rattle. And now this
new scientific discovery has been
sprung on longsuffering and unsus-
pecting public, and has set the house
wives in the town in whirl.
This kindhearted unselfish benefac-
tor of the human race, and indirectly a
solace and balm for the poor feed store
men, has figured out to his own salts
faction that the only way for the peo-
pie Of the present generation to live to
be 200 years and upwards is to live on
bran bread. Now bran, if l remember
right. and if my memory does not serve
me any straightforward tricks is the
same old chaffy, husky, oat coating
that the honest old granger has been
using for the past decade to pack eggs
in while bringing them to market, and
when the hen fruit season is little on
the wane, and the eggs get restless and
want to hatch, he mixes the bran with
hot water and feeds it to the pig just
to make him musical. I fail to find any
mention of bran as 4 body builder, but
presume it works on the absent treat
ment plan, for there is about as much
nutriment to a pan of bran, as there
is to a peck of hard pine sawdust, and
it is not quite as digestible. There is
one redeeming fea ture about this bran
fad, and that is it's cheapness, for
man with Is cents in his pocket can
purchase enough of this life sustaining
food in the raw to keep his family sup
piled all winter, or until they starve to
death. Just how this fad started in
and struck the town. and from whence
it came, no man knbweth, but at the
present time it is sufficient to know
t''at the fad is with us. working over
time to keep up to the limit, and about
nine out of every ten housewives in
town are UP to their elbows in bran
mash turning out this newly-dis- |
covered, cereal delicacy.
1t certainly looks inviting enough.
baked into loaves, to be used as corner
stones to Jewish synagogue. and it
is far more Serviceable. as far as resist |
ing wear and tear and the ravages of
time and the elements are concerned
than the ordinary brown stone, and is
not as easy to defaca. l have yet to
find anybody who really bankers after
this dark brown food of commerce or
who would be willing to get up on 4
dark and stormy night III winter and
walk barcfooted over a stony path four /,
or five miles, so as to be first at the !
bakehouse door, in order to get the big :
loaf when the shop was opened in the =,
morning; but then I am a little near |
sighted and not as observing as some '
which may account for it. Acquiring a !
taste for bran bread is on the same
scientific principle az the farmer feed i
ing his horse. who put green goggles on
tbs old family steed and fed him on
crisp shavings until he got used to
them. and when he got used to them he :,
died. but then the bran fad will have
its run like the measles. and then be ;
buried with it's victims in the grave
yard OF Obscurity.