The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-05-21
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age you at all. He That's ali rioSs !,
don't need any encouragement ps,, !
adelphia Press. IS
Ample: Ada-Do you get mnoh 4,
ercise2 May-Why, yes. / have r. s
maid, and / have a waist that hntta g
in the back.--Judge. -
Equivocal: she-Do you remamho.
before we were married, dear
He-Why, it's among my happiest AZ
elections. Yonkers Statesman,
Mike-Are ye much hurried pat, 4.
ye want docthor2 Pat-A doethos
ye fule! afther bein' ruined over Il ]
throlley car? Plat OF want ia . law#
yer.-Judge.
Hobson's Choice: Guest Gin chean
restaurant)-Well, waiter, what bavs
you got2 Waiter Beessteak ana ass
but the fish is all out. Wilhelm von
have?-Chicago News.
stranger-I would like to have !.
tooth pulled. Dentist-A man who
would like to have tooth pulled mnst
be lunatic. Guess you'd better o.
to the nearest asylum.-Boston Tran.
script.
$50 they named a cigar after youYn
EYES," answered the sporting man n :
dubious tone. "Quite a compliment
II thought SO till smoked one Of thA
cigars, then concluded that It was 4
libel."-Washington Star.
Like a Woman: "If you'll notice.
said Finnick, 1.-THE poets invariably say
She when referring 70 the earth. Why
should the earth be considered feuai.
nineT why not. Nobody knows lust
how old the earth is."-PhiIadelphia
Public Ledger.
Wife, wish we had q nice large
country place, where could give a
lawn party. HuSband-Just for the
pleasure Of inviting some Of your
friends, eh2 Wlf0-Well. yes; ana the
pleasure Of not Inviting some.-Phila.
delphia Ledger
Ethel (ecstatically)-Oh, Charlie,
would you Just az leave propose ali
over again, and do 1t into this phono.
graph2 Cholly-WhyH "Why, want
to have something to remember you
by after you have gone in and spoken
to papa about it."-Life.
Followed Directions: Mahoole-Aint
yez tn wan that towld me niver to
drink wather wIdout boilin'? Physi.
cian-Yes, sir. Mahoole-Thin OF hov
mOind to murther ye, OF dhrank
boiled wather avn awlmost burned me
mouth off,-Chicago Times.
II heard to-day that your son was
an undertaken. l thought you told me
he was a physician" mot at ALL" II
don't like to contradict, but I'm posi-.
tive you did say 60" "You misunder.
stood me. said he followed the med.
ical profession. "-Philadelphia Press.
jack hear you are going to marry
Miss Prettyun. Permit me to cOngrat.
ulate you on your excellent taste. Tom
But the engagement 10 of. I'm not
going to marry her or any one else.
Jack-Indeed! Then allow me to con.
graduate you on your good sense
Chicago Evening Post.
Just Like Real Lovers: Miss RO'
manz-Of course, you've read that
new love-story Of his? Mr.. Crabbe (ra.
viewer)-Yes; had to. Very realistic.
wasn't It? Miss Romanz-Oh, the ideal
Why, the dialogue between the lovers
was perfectly silly. Mr.. Crabbe-
Well2-Philadelphia Press.
Guest (angrily)-Look here land
lord, I'm heartily tired Of the way you
do business here. Didn't you ever
have a gentleman stop with you be-
fore? Landlord (gasing at him search
ingly)-Hum! Are you d gentleman
Guest (more angrilyrOf counsel
Landlord decidedly - Then l never
did.
A Feeling Of Security: "I'm so sur
prised to hear your wife likes the
house SO much-it's 30 small" Yea,
but there are lots Of closets In It.
"True, but they're extremely small
too" That's just 1t. My wife is sat-
isfled that not one of them 10 Dig
enough to hold a burglar. "-PhilaGe'
phia Ledger.
Happy In the Assurance: She was
going away. "Oh, JOHN" she soDoea,
John, are y-you quite sure youH
m-miss me" Darling" replied nes
big husband, "I'll miss you as much ~
do the morning train" Thus assuFeo
she picked up her grip and, Win
sweet smile. started for the seashore'-
Chicago News.
Mrs. Subbubs-Henry, Bridget proA'
three Of our very best plates to-day. MI
Acknowledgement Gould anytnlnS
possible be worseI Mrs. subbuos-sn'
1t isn't as bad as it might be. she ln'
hid the pieces, and II W.
can only look pleasant and pretend W.
know nothing about it, think Sn0"
Stay.-PhiIadelphia Press.
Good for the Heart: Mrs. Bloks!,
Yr. (who ia Of a romantic turn)-my'