davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

@ R. CONAN DOYLE has taken out W1II his hammer for the express E< purpose of administering a few gentle knocks" to Great Britain for her alleged tactics toward Russia The doc tor is not a confirmed pessimist. In fact his forte is writing about the amazing adventures Of Sherlock Holmes, and when he sees fit to assan the British gov ernment for seeming to favor the Rus sians there must be something radically wrong pr. Doyle says, We have earned throughout our history the reputation of being an unstable ally. We abandoned Prince Eugene and we abandoned Fred erick the Great in the midst of a joint war. I can forgive a Japanese who, sec ing us run a torpedo boat to Russia, supply the Russian fleet with Welsh coal and allow that fleet to coal at Port Said, believes we are following our worst tra- ditionsn From these remarks 1t can read fly be seen that Dr. Doyle Is far from being in a complalsant mood
 The title "professor" is much abused. The man who dons a silk hat, noisy trous- CTS and a black coat with a red tie and mounts a box to tell the populace the merits of a spectacle which can be seen for the small sum of a dime, ten cents, calls himself professor; the man who rides skyward in a balloon with his limbs encased in pink tights while yolels applaud and small boys gasp. calls him. self a professor; the genius who makes VaoHap Trfabroo,, corrU Q dIUarfIf1o conversation with a wooden negro whom he holds on his opposite knee calls him. self professor; the gentleman who abuses a piano for starvation wages is ''the professor; the nimble-tongued in- dividual who gives a performance of trained pigs calls himself a professor; the elegant parsonage who cracks a whip in a circus ring and puts his horses through their paces calls himself pro- lessor; the half-starved schoolmaster. whose knowledge is greatly disproportion- ate to his egotlsm, Is hailed professor and the greatest men of learning in the world have no better title. The appela- ton is a refuge for quacks and charla- tans without number, 1t is applied indis- criminately and without discretion and it is little wonder that faculty men in some of the universities now Insist on being called plain Mister"
 Gen. Jacob S. Coxey stood fine chance to be forgotten but he has again been brought into view by the fact that he has just filed a petition in bankruptcy It will be remembered that the general achieved fame as the leader of a rag tag and bob tall aggregation which he styled the "commoweal army and glory was his without a single engagement or more serious skirmish than a foray for something to eat. General Coxey seems to have fallen upon evil days. His business affairs are apparently in bad way, and they are quite extensive, too. However, 1t is not surprising that man who conceived the "commonweal army movement should get his finances tam gled up. He had queer Ideas to start with.
 Governor Vardaman has made an in- excusable blunder in his discourteous reply to the letter of President Francis of the Louisiana Purchase exposition, telling him of President Roosevelt's visit to the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

Mississippi building and the words of praise spoken by the chief executive. Pres ident Francis communication was a graceful tender of courtesy to the people of Mississippi and their governor but MT. Vardaman made the following sar- castle reply Tt Is of course gratifying to the people of Mississippi to know that they have done one thing that the pres ent President of the United States ap- proves Doubtless the Presidents admi- ration of the Mississippi building is due to his admiration of Jefferson Days, of whose home 1t Is g. replica" Such expres- sions under the circumstances appear at least to be uncalled for and certain of the Mississippi papers are already mak- ing things warm for MT. vardaman. The Jackson News published a vigorous edi- torlal that seems to voice the sentiment of many representative people of the state.
 Those impressionistic persons who dream of a fairyland when idle moment permit can take a trip to a real fairy land now without much trouble. In al the great department stores toyland spread out before the wondering gaze # youth and old age alike. This year thee will be a wealth of toys and plenty of money to buy them. Prosperity reims and if Santa Claus does not do a Dig business along about December 25 he Fill have to make an explanation. Toylnd is a wonderful place. delightful pace for a visit and a look costs not peny. A 4. tUp and interesting at any time of the year but when Christmas treasures are sread out in profusion. when hundreds of mall boys and girls hover about the displays and the great holiday rush Is on tie de- partment store is a modern fairylanl that compares very favorably with the fairy land of picture books
 The Kentucky drouth is no loiger a matter for the paragraphers ts treat with levity. There can be no doubt that Kentucky is dry, very dry, and while it has not yet been found necessart to use whisky in locomotive boilers, thescarcity of water is so great that even he cows are going dry. If one were to bdieve the pert paragraphers he would cone to the conclusion that a water famine Is about the last thing in the world tlat would trouble Kentuchians but the Bluegrass state has many uses for water other than as a diluter of liquor.
 The final stage of the automobile terror has been reached Not even the dogs are any longer safe from the hurying "devil wagons of the lanes and byways which so richly merit their name. Not only is the pedestrian who ventures forth on a rural pike or a city thorouehfare in dan ger of coming to an untinely end but if his dog should wander out in a mo- ment of mental abberati,n his end is apt to be equally speedy. However, 1t is some consolation to know that 1t is the poor mans dog who will "get it in the neck" and not the aristpratic poodle of my lady. The poodle wll be in the car at the time of the accident and will no doubt share his owners disgust at the awkwardness of a scrub canine who IS 1 precipitated beneath tho wheels of the automobile. Inasmuch as the poor man is to be run down by the sanguine auto 1t is but fitting that his faithful dog should | share the same fate. C.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
NovEMB BIER.
Cullen Bryant.

By William Cullen Bryant. Let one smile more. departing. distant
 sun, One mellow smile through the soft va-
 boring air. Ere Ger the frozen earth the loud winds
 run, Or snows or sifted OCT the meadows
 bare; One smile on the brown hills and naked
 trees; And the dark rocks whose summer
 wreaths are cast, And the blue gentian flower. that in the
 breeze Mods lonely. of her beauteous race the
 last. Yet a few sunny days. in which the bee Shall murmur by the hedge that skirts
 the way, The cricket chirp upon the russet lea, And man delight to finger in the ray. Yet one rich smile, and we will try to
 bear The piercing winter frost, and winds. and
 darkened air.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
Coffee and Tariff.

Under the Dingley law coffee is ad- mitted to thls country free of duty, just as it should be. for this great American beverage is the real comfort of millions of the poor of this country, and to tax it's importation would be a heavy burden to this class. for it would increase the cost of the necessity
 l. willy. It would be the same old story: Neither the importer nor the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
Paid on Old Debt.

'I have Just had my first actual expe- rience with 'conscience' money, so to speak" said a prominent business man of this city last night
 Seventeen years ago a man contracted a debt with me, and as had never been able to make collection. had to give 1t up as lost, There was no way to collect It by law, and you can imagine my sur prise when I received a check today for $500. While this did not cancel the amount, I appreciate 1t deeply, and can use 1t to advantage just now
 "It Is not often that man owing a debt pays after so many years, especially when the law could not reach him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Pardon me, but>dld you see a dachs- hund near hereY'
 "Yes.p
 "Where was hep
 Partly on Euclid avenue and partly on Erie street."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
JONES DESCRIBES ROOSEVELT.

From the Dallas tTex) News.
 In an address here the Rev Sam P. Jones. the evangelist, thus described President Roosevelt:
 q like Roosevelt anyhow. He is a combination of mule and billygoat, kicking at one end and putting at the other. He is man of push and vim, and don't believe we need have any fear of him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
Fatal BaeIIIl.

From the Gadsden Journal.
 There is an atmosphere about Gadsden that knocks the pessimistic baccili out of mans system the first day he lands here Anyone suffering from this nal ady will do well to Investigate No kick CTS here.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
REFLEcTIoNs OF A BACHELOR.

From the New 1ork rIess.
 A girl is good looking every time she takes a peep at herself in the mirror.
 There are no words in any language that can describe a mans religion when the water pipes burst.
 A woman gets as much fun out Of hear ing music that she doesn't understand as A man does playing pool for the drinks.
 A man could always afford to give his wife furs and pearl necklaces If being married weren't so expensive in other ways.
 When man saueezes his wife's hand she can tell the way he does 1t whether he is absent-minded and thinks it is some body else.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
Convincing Argument.

From the Huntsville News.
 In his campaign in Massachusetts W. L. Douglass told the voters that he sold his shoes for s350 If he could get his raw material duty free he would sell them for $9.Oo. That brought the tariff issue home to the people all right.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The boil weeyil has probably laughed up his sleeves a great many times since he came over from Mex, ico at the long-winded diatribes of science that come to naught.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
ALABAMA PRESS.
Nothing New.

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 We don't see anything strange in the story of the Ohio convict who forfeited his parole and lost hls liberty by get ting married. Men who are not con- victs do that.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The future king of Italy is rocked to sleep in an American cradle, and when he grows up he will stay awake O nights to watch American chorus girls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The Pasteur institute experts have s-cceeded Tn turning radish into a potato. Hermann, the magician. had better go out of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
IS THE FOE
 OF ADULTERATED FOODS

both on the side of pure food, it would present a combinatibn that would ulti- mately drive all fraudulent food manu- lecturers out of business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
chrysanthemum Salad.

Prince FushImi. of Japan, is giving us a new dish In Washington said Vest ern Congressman who passed through Birmingham yesterday. Ut Is "Chrysan- themum salad.'' The method of preparing the flowers for the table. the prince said, was as follows: First immerse the blooms in boiling water for from five to six minutes. Then take them out of the hot water and plunge them in cold. After being thoroughly chilled the petals are pulled off and are seasoned to taste with oil, vinegar. pepper and salt. This, the prince said, was a favorite salad in his country with all classes. Not only are the fresh flowers used that way, the prince went on to say but they are also dried for winter use. Before drying the petals are plucked, and when the house. wife wishes to use them they are soaked in water until they expand to their orig inal size. Then they are treated with the boiling and cold water baths, as the fresh flowers The prince said that as a gem eral thing only the white and yellow ehrysanthemums are used in the prepar- ation of salads In Japan"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

It Is rumored that a woman in Scot. land has just given Dr. Dowie sl5O.0OO. There is no question of the doctors ability as a collector.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
Cur Birmingham District.

The Birmingham district is an in definite quantity in the public mind of Alabama, but in New York and Pitts burg and Cincinnati and across the sea the phrase the Birmingham district" includes not only Jefferson county and the surrouding counties, but all the iron-malzing localities south of Vir- man he furnaces of Tennessee are included in '.the Birmingham district" at well as those in this state. He knows no Gadsden district, or Chatta- nooga district, or Sheffield district. He in laet never perhaps heard of them, and if he be interested in the iron
 os into the one phrase,
 lam district" all iron and
 south of Virginia, This
 ust or correct, but it is the
 outside world, and the out
 heir money and take their Here at home we can have vari- ety of iron CT steel districts, but we cannot carry our home distinctions be- yond the state line, simply because those who live outside the state have become accustomed to the words, "the Birmingham district" and they do not propose to accept subdivisions
 We are not insisting upon anything at all. We are simply stating the situation. Home conformity is not es- scntial, certainly not compulsory. If Gadsden insists on being it's own dis. ,t-ict, well and good. So as to Shef- field, or Bessemer, or Chattanooga, or any other ambitious locality. But let none of them think they can obtain recognition in any of the great iron markets of the world, for it can not be done. They arc each and all known in those markets as the Birmingham district"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

diers, came out of the war without a dollar. He succeeded in borrowing a few hundred dollars from friends. and start ed in the shoe business He is a wealthy man today. Of course this mans exper- fence is common to thousands throughout the south, but I mention in connection with the claim made for Richmond that it has more accumulated capital than any city of its size south of the Potomac. Brains and pluck have made Richmond and Atlanta and 1t naturally occurs to every one familiar with Birmingham con ditions that this young town with its wonderful resources, will soutstrip in a comparatively short time. all the other cities of the south"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

John D. Rockefeller could never be persuaded to try the oil cure for his hair. Oil is what made him bald.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

When President Roosevelt comes south he will discover that all south erners are not Vardamans
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The advance agent of winter has ar rived.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Flo Irwin showed very poor business judgment in keeping the news of her divorce from a sta senator six years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

A trip to toyland can be made any day now by taking the elevator in 2 department store.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Henry Watterson has probably con cluded that his stormy trip across the ocean made the last campaign look like a euehre party
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The cowboy is rapidly disappearing from the western plains and is being transferred to the stage.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Selma is to have a new skyscraper six stories high. It won't scrape enough sky to hurt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Pastor Fritch of Attleboro, Mass, is a parson who has gone on the stage. The critics are not doing thing for him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

While they are not doing anything the Japs and Russians might arrange for a football contest to decide the far eastern championship
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The man who grows cotton and the man who speculates in cotton should each mind his own business.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The country is infested with theatri- cal advance agents.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Santa Claus ought to be in a liberal mood this year, prosperity Is so much in evidence over the land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

J. Plerpont Morgan has just bought five cows. and Is being accused of trying to organize a COW trust.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Parson Wagner finds it hard to live the simple life in the United States. The people won't let him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The reception committees at the fair are recuperating after entertaining strenuous MT. Roosevelt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The cry for pure food and pure whisky has become an uproar.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Up in Minnesota the colored colonist is welcomed with a brick.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Billings has cornered the fast horse market by purchasing Lou Dillon and Major Delmar
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Senator Davis still looks and acts young, but it Is probable that he feels trifle older.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

In Massachusetts the governor serves only one year. If the people make a mistake they can soon make a change.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

General Kuropathn now has an au- tomoblle. It will come in handy when the general has hurry call to the rear.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

A Brooklyn preacher says that New York has a saloon 40 miles long and it is the Empire State Express.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Poker is busting bridge from the fa- vor of the British aristocracy- Another example of the American invasion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Thomas Taggart is busy looking after the comforts of his guests.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
The Female Evangelist.

'I have read of the itinerant evangel- ists. who when the country was young went from settlement to settlement seek ing to carry light Into the benighted dis tricts and convey salvation unto the souls of the rough and unlettered set tlers." said a commercial traveller at the Hillman last night, ''but never saw his female prototype until few days ago.
 While travelling through a mountain ous and sparsely settled section of Vir- ginia I was attracted by q woman of about thirty years. as she entered the coach. She was tall and spare, almost to cancellation, with sharp. angular features, and fiery little black eyes. She carried Bible and song book, and as soon as seated began to chant a hymn, appar- ently obvious of others present. When the song was finished and a chapter read from the Bible. she glanced round at the passengers. and finally moved to a seat Just in front of me. occupied by a young woman.
 For the next hour I heard more strange and wonderful constructions put upon the scripture more arguments ad- vanced to show that we benighted ter restrial beings could not pass within the gates of Elysium. and that lake of fire was our destined portion, unless certain unswerving line was pursued, than, l think any stern old puritan minister ever preached. I soon gathered from the con- versation that she was an itinerant even- gelist, going from one mountain settle ment to another. When l left the train she was still ranting on the certain de- struction of all who did not repent. and I involuntarlly placed her in the cate- gory of those stern old evangelists who preached an eternal fire for the trans gressor, instead of gentle and all atom ing love-"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Presidential Visits.


 The plans being made for President 1Aoosevelts southern tour recalls =ffesi- oent Hayes visit to Richmond in lo.h said a member of Birmingham FH- ginia colony.
 Mr. Hayes was the first President or lne United States to make southern 'flp after the war. The terrible recoil- struction period had not been long past and bitter memories of the war and the cruel days following the four years or strife remained in the minds oI the southern people. But representative ex- Sonfederates of the Virginia capital thought it would be a good idea to in- Vite President Hayes to Richmond as token of their appreciation of his prompt ness in withdrawing federal troops from south Carolina and Louisiana and his friendly attitude to the south in general The President gladly accepted the invi- tation. have seen many demonstrations of welcome to distinguished men, but none has ever surpassed in extent or cor aiaiity the ovation that MT. Hayes re- ceived, and 1t went far toward bridging the bloody chasm.
 President Hayes and his cabinet ar rived in Richmond late in the afternoon, A cold rain was falling but the military the fire department and various civic as- sociations paraded as an escort and the sidewalks were lined with citizens shout Ing huzzas. The city was gaily decorated and Richmond fully carried out it's repu- tation for hospitality. President Hayes remained in the capital two days and or leaving siad he had enjoyed every min ute of his time.
 Birmingham is not much on gala dec oration, but if President Roosevelt should pay us a visit I hope the merchants will spend some money on flags and bunting
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Mark Twain knows Joan of Arc as well as the next one, and that's no joke.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

More has happened to Judge Parker in the past six months than in all his life before.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

The fight on Reed Shoot has been resumed. The paragraphers are ready
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Grover Cleveland has retired from public life and can become as fat as he pleases.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Since the Japs carry pocket stoves, there is no danger of their getting cold feet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

would to God thou and knew where a commodity of good names were to be bought. Henry W.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Russia's bomb crop Is fourishing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
A IoNc.pRAWN poo.

Alabama has full pocketbook.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
IGrd nnarcl

Let Us an Gat together.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

L. II. Russ and J. H. Caffee are the only authorized travelling representaelse1 of The Age-Herald in its circulation ae- partment
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

No communication will be published without its authors name. HeJeelso manuscripts will not be returned nhiess stamps are enclosed for that purpose
The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30

Washington Bureau AEe-Herale. l4sl c Street N. w