The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-04-14
MY BIRTHDAY UMBRELLA.

Like most people. I have only one birthday a year. Susan intended to celebrate the event by giving me pres ent. Susan is my wife. We had been married a year, but fortune had not smiled upon us, and we were terribly hard up. Consequently Susan's spend ing capacities were limited She was going to buy me an umbrella. The present was saved up for and talked about good deal before the aus picious day. We went to the shop to- gether to secure the gift. Susan's idea of the amount to be ex- pended-heaven bless heri-was, I think, about dollar and a half. The keeper of the umbrella shop looked pained and concerned at the idea of respectable customers daring to pur- chase one of his cheap ginghams. He had a two dollar and a half article, now, a really decent thing. | We saw it. The handle was very plain. It did not please Susan so much as that of a three dollar one produced simultaneously. There was no pushing to open it-the thing was a patent. There was no fumbling in a shower of rain to open this umbrella. One had only to release little spring in the handle and the umbrella opened itself half way. This last luxury completely won over Susan. The bargain was clinched
 l We left the shop arm in arm, Susan proud and joyous that she had been able to make me such a beautiful birthday present" so much nicer than she had had at first intended.
 | On the way the elements, as if bent on pleasing Susan, sent up sharp shower of rain. Her eyes dilated with pleasure and triumph as she produced | the umbrella.
 Let me open it" she cried vivacious- l ", as the raindrops came pattering down. She touched the spring, and lol the umbrella partly opened of his own accord. How ingenious! To run it up to the top of the stick was the work of a second and we sheltered snugly un- der it's ample canopy, side by side, arm | in arm.
 l The rain descended in torrents. We had not far to go. The district railway station was only hundred yards ahead. Yet, before we arrived there, the silk of the umbrella was soaked through and through by the deluge. We were just in time for a train. with half minute to spare. We did not trouble to shut the umbrella down until well inside the ticket office.
 The thing would not shut Susan de- clared it was because I did not under stand the patent. She begged me to leave it to her, while got the tickets ! I squeezed my way to the ticket office paid the fares and returned to find Su- san still struggling. We had not mo- ment to sparel
 l tackled the umbrella myself, edgins meanwhile toward the staircase. The wretched thing would not go down, nc matter how coaxed it.
 l Susan was now at the gate, advising me to desist from my struggles in the gangway, saying it would be perfectly easy to get the thing down on the plat form. The train was at a standstill, all the passengers had jumped in, includ- ing Susan, who urged and encouraged me to more frantic efforts, standing in- SLUG Cllc uOOI Ol q 4WIlllSI | TE- mained writhing upon the platform.
 "Step in, there! Step in, there!" cried the guard.
 I stepped in, still cllnging to the han dle of the open abomination. Susan was purple with agitation. I managed Iby dexterous maneuver to get the handle of the umbrella through the win dow and shut the door, leaving the open lcanopy spread over the window. What little light there was was thus prevent led penetrating the dim interior of the carriage.
 Here, say, put that umbrella 1 down!" came voice from the platform As if I hadn't been trying to! Was not trying at that very moment with al my might?
 The door was wrenched forcibly oper with jerk, which shot me out on to the platform. Susan was compelled tt jump out after me, and there we were on the platform, already late. left be. hind, with the obnoxious thing wide
 open. dripping wet, and obstinate as ever. The train steamed out of the sta. tion.
 "The next one will be in fifteen min.
 utes!" cried Susan, half in tears. "Yor can shut the thing now, surely? There
 is plenty of time. Don't fuss. And lpoor Ted will be waiting on the door,
 step in the pouring rain, with no ont
 to let him in.
 Everything was tried, short of jump.
 ing upon the confounded thing, but al
 to no purpose.
 We shall have to leave it in tn