The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-08-23
TIE NONPAREJL MAN

TIE NONPAREJL MAN
How the Legal Services of Al j. Smith
Were Sought Professionally In the Rush
andSRoar of the Tornado-The Man witt,
the Cyclone Cellar Now Pats Himself
on the Back.
Saturday night Al j. Smith and Dr..
Golden were out spellbinding, holding a
great audience entranced by their honeyed
the storm broke. A rush
was made for the DOORS The speakers
escaped by a side entrance. There they
saw DR.. Golden's horse in the act of
climbing thru a plate glass window at so
many dollars per foot. Forgetting the
rush and roar of the storm in his anxiety.
DR.. Golden Immediately consulted AL ].
smith professionally. Was the horses
action one for which the owner of the
plate glass window could collect damages?
Al J. Smith rose to the occasion grand
ly He quoted the supreme court re-
ports, such and such volume, such and
SUCH date, and announced that the
storm and consequent incidents were due
to the act of God, hence not recoverable.
II. sGoiden will get the bill for legal SER
roaring In it's fury around them.
NOW that 1t is all over, we wish to
state that we We're not frightened a bit
tho presenting the appearance Of a man
scared stiff. The cellar door looked pretty
GOOD but we didn't go down, but we
nave al charity for those parties in the
10y VINO dld. When the elements are
gong that variety Of stunt man Is a
1901 who doesn't so down cellar.
mere are few cyclone cellars-not
hnany-ln town. and the, people who con-
structed them are patting themselves IN
N Inc PACK. The finest anti-cyclone refuge
ever visited is at Lake Harriet yo,,
go into the basement and then vou Lae,,
on little further down some stems into
q "lnoproot apartment neatly constructed
" cement, as dry as a bone and as tight
as a Hisefs pocketbook. It has some
suos.ahtial furniture and a good fireplac &c
~ y. Nothing could touch it unless an
es'r rttea reached for it. And when an
earenquake hunts you, you are in the
position of David Crockett,s coon yn,1
might as well come down.
A German traveller claims To have
discovered in the forests Of Bornan .
p ,,t'l9!e VINO still wear the tail of our
r. fa llliitIVe ancestors. He does not write
the London Chronicle In The co,,,.ss ses ~ :
evolution, the tail being a distinct dis g.
au:vantage because your enemy could
selze you by 1t and throw you over the
lence, while he stole your bone If ha 9
of it. 'ie slad
j. w. Foley of Bismarck. N y ca ne,,
known in the northwest, is making ouita
reputation IN the east as a poet. MANY
u ms verses are published in the Nav,
, aoih ZINES and in Life. Among ..Son
nees OF School Days. printed recently in
love: 'i1oule 20
" love u are mitey mitey powr
butt lett gu gett hur mfpn sSn tEeery our
DeIoar u hardlie say jack robson.
thee mlllyuna1r spends thousands butt no noso
hmtt LOTS moar In his pokket wenn lit goze
Jus avn I've gott. Butt low is mott afrade
w w poverty. Ann evry breth shee draws
piihsss happiness upp too me throo them straws
most enjoyable '.Diary of REQ
English Girl is found in the August
Fortnightly Review. It is the journal in.
time OF a little girl of eleven years. who
was peing given a somewhat too strenu.
Gus Gus literary training by her family
some OF the entries are as follows:
In the evening father read us 'sarto,
Resartus,' and I mendea the green cur
tains Of the dolls house.
IN the afternoon I read aloud tt
mother Mon Frere Yves by Pierre Lott
and played her the Bee Song Of Men
1 'delssohn, which I know by heart nov,
Pierre Lofts books are sodden rot onl,
mother says I mustn't use all Guyi
Z words
In the afternoon did arithmetic (Which
III DO fate), and then sat with my dar
ling while she read me 'Silas Mariner,
AfterWard I read her a little of Lee
very pretty.
IT ratned all the afternoon, SO Madg
and played shopping. I did as if I ha,
been married, and after having a littl
tour mad a baby called Topsy and nov
am settling down in Paris. and buy
ing everything necessary for a household
Madge likes it better than anything else
! think In the evening, after dinner
rather read US Shakespeare's 'All's wei
'Ihat Ends Well, while we made a trous
seau for Topsy, because Madge says sh
shall be married tomorrow.
Read Frank: "A Story Of a Happy Life
in bed this morning 1t is a charrnin
but religious book
Got up very early, and came to rea
the Bible with mother before breakfa 81
and some out of a new book she ha
given me- called The Imitation of Christ
1t is a sort of Bible, but not very inter
, esting.''
, The scoundrel who played a mean iok
on Joseph Tucker, clerk of the Hoboke
board of health, is likely to get int
trouble. This Internal villain, during M
fuckers absence, from home sent thi
letter to his house. AS Mr. Tucker wa
absent Mrs. Tucker opened the letter an
read the following:
Dear Joe: think it very mean of Won ia ke,
me waiting here since O'Clock this mornin
) You promised to meet the at 9:15 this norni1
to take me to Cranberry Lake. I have been
the office and found you had not been Their
You must have got drunk last evening.
I Joe. hurry. un and come down and meet m
i station until 10 o'clock Your loving
e Mrs. fuckers. peace of mind was som
O what disturbed-also Mr.. fuckers whs
II he got home. Afterward he found Q,
a who did it,
!. "This man IS a city employee connectt
: with the street cleaning department
said Mr.. Tucker, telling the story 81
n first I was going to get out rcvolv
n and kill him, but I thought better of
8 action as he advises. I shall not let II
: this is a joke. shall try to show it
o A man so thoughtless as nearly
E wreck the happiness of a family in til
I silly way ought to "be shown He
; would a letter like that go" at yo
? home? a. j. r.