River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1904-04-07


or else it's one of them club females that
wants me to vote for some old petticoat-
ed man for the legislator. Or mebbe
it's from some of them drafted hair re-
storer concerns that want me to try their
stuff for bald heads! I'm good mind
to put it right into the fire!"
But he didn't. He put it into his pocket
instead, and went off out to the wood
she'd to read it alone.
Maud and j, we skinned out after him
and crept up the stairs to the loft over
the shed, where the cracksis big and you
can look right down anu see everything
that is going on.
"Gracious!" says Uncle Jed. as he sal
down on the saw horse, rugged his specks
firmly on his nose, and broke the seal
as if he expected the inside of the let
ter was full of dynamite, who can be
writing me letter on such finified pa
per? A motto at the top, too. TWO
hearts stuck through with one arrer!
Highly respected and honored sir
Gee whillikins! If that don't beat the
Dutch! Pardon a humble and adorlns
wall. I'll be jiggered."
Here Uncle Jed got down to business
and read the letter through.
"a woman! and she wants me to take
her into my bosom. and meet her in Rob-
inson's park. Wall, wall, Jehosephat
links! l didn't suppose there was any
woman that thought of me that way.
Young and confiding, and gold uncount-
ed Ell? BOUNDS, why don't she count
it? Will meet her? Well, | rutheI
guess Can't think who she is, unless
yes, I'll bet cent that it's that rich city
boarder over to the Merrill house! I've
seen her lookin' at me when ! drive up
with a load of cabbages. And she took
my picter with one of them blarsted
crowdacks, too. Jenkins said so. Said
she wanted it for specimen. Lordy! |
never thought she was in love with me.
Wall, I'm about tired of livin' with old
Higgins, and being at his beck and call
day in and day out Yes, am. Gold I'M
counted, hey? I'll have place of my
own, and a boss to drive, and dog that
the wag of his tail shall be mine! Yes,
sir! I'm ruther stylish looking man, OF
my age, and when I'm dressed up can
hold my own with the best of EN-
ooh, goodness" says Maud, examining
ner handkerchief into her mouth, hold
me, Sam, or l shall exploded"
"Sh!" says l, well lose some of it il
we give way to our emotions"
eyes" went on Uncle Jed, "PIl meet
her, and I'll do up that bosom business to
her satisfaction. Gracious! It's long
spell since Rugged a woman! I've most
forgot how it's done, but guess I'll get
used to it with a little practice. I'll take
a double dose of Stickney's Tonic Bit
ters to brace me up"
Gee whizz!" says l to Maud, who'd
ever have thought that Uncle Jed would
have ketched on so quick?"
The old man he folded up the letter,
put it in his vest pocket, and went off
up into his chamber Iexpect he wanted
to kinder think it out. Ma she reckoned
he was sick, and she sent him up some
billed pork and cabbage, but he said he
didn't need anything in that line, as he
was going to take few bitters for his
stomach.
Maud and | were in Robinson's park
by half past seven. We were awful
'fraid that Miss Virgins wouldn't show
up. but she was first on the ground.
Maud and hid in a bunch of evergreens
close by the big elm. We could see real
well. She had the red rose in her
waist.
Pretty soon Uncle Jed appeared. He
had on his long-tailed surtout, and he
carried a cane and had his silk go-to-
meeting hat tilted back on his head. He
looked as clipper as grasshopper.
Miss Virgins heard him coming. ooh,
Lordy!" says she. under her breath,
"my fate at last! How shall ever meet
him."
And then she went slowly forward.
"Is-is that you, Mr.-Mr. j." says
she.
Eyes, says Uncle Jed; land is this
Miss-Miss W."
'It isl says she, and then they both
stopped short and stared at each other.
ooh, my Lord of Love!" says Miss
Virgins, Unsatisfactory! Jerry Bent!
Oh. my soul and body!"
eyes" says Uncle Jed; land it's you.
Almiry! Almiry Virgins, by the jump
ing Judas!"
"Well, WE'LL" says she.
"Wall, WALL" says he.
Good gracious" whispered Maud, "I'll
bet ten cents that she's his old girl! Oh,
Sam, amt we gone and done it?"
"Almiry," says Uncle Jed, II got let
ter"
$50 did I" says Miss Virgins.
But didn't write no letter." says
Uncle Jed.
Neither did l" says Miss Virgins.
"Jehosaphat!" says Uncle Jed.
ooh, Lordy!" says Miss Virgins, as if
an idea had struck her all of a sudden:
"its the first day of April, and some
body's been fooling u.s."
"No, they ANTI" says Uncle Jed. with
emphasis, and he flung away his cane
and grabbed Miss Virgins round the
waist, and says he: Somebody's tried
to, but they amt succeeded. No, by
links! Darn it all! was fool in the
old times, but I've alters loved only ycu,
Almiry! And I'll take you to my bosom
now!"
And. | vow he Rugged and kissed her
so that the frogs stopped singing in the
pond to find out what that strange
clucking sound meant.
Lets go home to bed" says Maud
What with the billing and cooling of