The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-01-01
by HOWARD, DEYlNE.

lCdl pOWcTS WHO COulU duu "OuAu W
and dare all for their lady loves. Now,
while will not admit that am deficient
In the essential attitudes Of heroism, l
Am not very long on physical prowess.
How can man who puts his days In at a
hot, stuffy office badgering his head about
rates and discounts and all that sort Of
thing and his nights at dinners and
heaters and card games at the club,
be expected to have a Sandow develop
ment. =. ...-
Finally, goaded by her praise Of men
she saw or read of who were models Of
physical powers and courage took up
the matter seriously with myself and
finally figured out a campaign.
It was habit of ours to go fire.
uuently to q popular summer garden Of
q hot summer evening and enjoy the
music while slipping cooling drinks.
One hot afternoon while sitting in my
Office cursing the fate that kept me there
instead of being out in the country, a
picture of this summer garden flashed
before my mental vision.
by Jove," I thought, II will get
Mamie and enjoy the evening there"
Then thought ruefully of the tor
lures she had inflicted on me on the
evening previous when had taken
her for a ride on the avenue and she
had spent the time lauding common
fellow who had stopped runaway team
and saved some ladies from possible
harm. So persistent and harassing
had she been that had lost my temper
and the ride had ended in quarrel.
Clearly l could not ask her to go
to the summer garden so soon. She
would laugh at me and use the advant-
age to goad me still further. This I
felt would not be able to endure. No,
must maintain my dignity. Indeed,
must go still further and manage to
shsw her that I was a hero or all would
be lost. Despite her cruelty and in
justice, was desperately in love with
her-and am yet. Such is fate. Clearly
I must do something heroic and that
quite suddenly.
The intensity of my thoughts deep
ened the perspiration on my brow and
invo1untarily my thoughts wandered
to the summer garden with its breezes
and cooling drinks and stirring music.
Then it was that old Beelzebub en-
cred into the game and destroyed me.
am convinced that it was an inspira-
ton direct from hottest .Hades that
sent the next thought through my
mind. But did not think so at the
time. No, indeed, I@leaped to my feet
In insane Joy. laughed idiotically. I
danced about my private Office.
hailed the evil thought as an inspira-
ton of genius.
It was none other than this: I would
HE myself to the summer garden and
pick out the huskiest waiter. whom I:
would bride to be my accomplish.
Then I would escort my lady love to
the place aad the husky waiter would
insult her. Then would rise and
smite him hip and thigh. He would
make pretended resistance of desperate
character, but would refrain from in
turing me and would finally fall to
the floor vanquis11ed, and I, rufaed but
triumphant and dignified, would escort
Mamie from the place, duly ensconsed
il her heart and mind as most gal
liant knight. s" -
with fatuous haste and glee I threw
on my hat and soon was speeding to-
ward the summer garden. Alas, there
all went we'll. I, found q big waiter
who looked like . prize-flghter, and
agreed to pay him Literally If he
would oAtry' the ooncvtracT. He glad