The San Francisco call., 1904-11-13

the heart. Perhaps the lassie
Nj who wrote and asked how she
could have good manners" may
not think so at first, but want her to
look about and select some girl who
has had every advantage in the way of
schooling. She may be polished and
pleasant. and she may know which
fork to use and which one to let alone,
but remember this-she may have re-
ceived ever so fine a finishing" educa-
tion at some smart boarding school,
but if she has not been taught kindness
Il heart in childhood she will never
have really good manners.
The girl who uses her eyes is the one
who learns quickly. She sees all that is
going on and then quietly makes the
most Of her observations. She watches
the way some well-gowned woman
handles her elbows when she sits at the
table. and with a keenness that comes
in remarkably short time learns to
Judge and to criticize. first her own
manners or lack Of them, and later
these Of the people who chance to be
about her.
But scrutinizing people closely is en-
urely different from staring insolently.
And how many burning hesrtaches this
selfsame staring has caused.
For instance. take il to yourself.
Every time any one glances fnsistently
in your direction you draw into your
shell and sit and brood and fret and
inwardly wonder what branch Of eti-
ouette you have outraged. The more
you worry the more conscious you get,
until one burning wave succeeds an
other IL scUrrying over your face, and
YOU devoutly wish you were any place
under the shining sun but just there.
That is heartache and heartache
with z vengeance, too. for nothing cuts
quite so cruelty or so quickly as a
curious stare and a half smOthered
laugh Even the bravest man willis
and takes TO the tall timbers just as
fast as his legs can carry him when
he realizes that the finger Of ridicule
has been pointed at him. A regiment
OF soldiers with bayonets all pointed
his way would not Tease him half as
much as three or four mocking faces
and teu-tale laughing eyes.
I know Of one chap whose life is a
perfect nightmare to him. And II is
made SO by nothing more or less than
common, everyday staring. or, as the
boys so aptly put it, "rubbering." He
has very prominent birthmark on his
face and it is the curse Of his life.
Every day as he travels about tending
10 his business he sees that flaming
red mirrored in a dozen eyes and he
is conscious that every ones gaze is
centered upon him as he walks down
the street
OF course he is not accountable for
his physical deformity and every one
that glances his way does not do it
in a spirit Of meanness. But surprise,
curiosity and even pity compel people
10 turn about and stare after him as
he goes on his way with burning eyes.
Just why people do not look at him
and then turn away is more than can
quite fathom. Yet he has told me that
about one person in every hundred can
successfully control the face and look
at him fairly and squarely without in
dicaung in any way that the defect
has been noticed.
That is one reason why I say that
good manners are a condition Of the
heart. II is not the outward polish
that really counts half as much as the
inward gentility Of the heart Half
the women who pride themselves on
their social training have not a third
Of the true kindness that many a hod-
carrier, toling all day in his old red
shirt and faded overalls, exhibits as a
matter Of course.
II You really want to improve your
self study the art Of repose and kind
ness Everything springs from these
two sources Bv cultivsting repose
you viii never be hurried or hurried.
and fully nine-tenths Of all the blum
ders that are made are the result of a
grand rush 10 make up time Again.
there is something peculiarly restful
about a restful girl. She is quiet and
one naturally seeks her when one is
worried or fretful or not feeling ex-
actly fit There is no danger Of her
being up and all over the place at
once and OF giving one absolutely no
peace, for the same placid repose that
attracts IN the first place holds on the
home stretch and long after the race
has been won.
After you have learned everything