Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-06-03

Randolph Hearst is to be our next
President. They have nothing against
him, as to his character, but hold, be-
cause he is capable OF teaching them
how to publish seven successful news.
papers, that he has taken the place
that they intended to occupy. These
big newspaper publishers are publish
ing articles about Hearst that they
might well sell to an undertaken TO
use at funerals.
We have noticed that woman will
get golf dress, when she has no in
tention OF playing golf; ball gown,
when she cares nothing about dane
ing; a yachting suit, when the whistle
OF an ocean steamer makes her sea.
sick !; a tennis dress, when she wouldn't
play tennis for fear she will freckle
a bathing suit, when she has no
thought of going into the water; a
riding habit, when the very thought
of climbing on a horse gives her the
chills; but when she gets q wedding
dress she means business.
There are more ways of getting work
than the average man knows Of.
There is, for example, genius in Chi
cago, who has created new industry.
He cells boiling water. He goes
round in the early hours of the morn
ing with an apparatus on wheels that
consists of large boiler over coke
fire. His charge for filling any ordi-
nary receptacle such as kettle or
saucepan is penny, and many an
early worker is content to pay this
small amount simply to have teapot
filled, and so avoid the time and
trouble of lighting fire or manipulat.
ing an oil stove. Capital idea; isn'tit?
A preacher on his way to church
on Sunday morning stopped to rebuke
an angler.
Don't you hear the bells summon.
ing you to church," he asked.
The fisherman put an inquiring
hand to his ear. Encouraged, the
minister repeated the question. But
once again the fisherman asked for a
repetition, and then again, and even
yet again.
Flushing from over much shouting,
the preacher was about to proceed on
his way, when the fisherman spoke,
Very sorry, guv'nor," he said, "but
them bells make such clatter that /
can't hear a word you say"
I read in a journal devoted to the
interests of the more decorative sex,
that a new "beauty culr has been in
vented. And this new fad is 80 emf.
nently to the good, that 1 make no
apology for thus introducing it to the
notice of the hundreds OF ladies who
read and more or less profit by the
STANDARD. 1t seems that some sensi.
bic person who evidently believes in
teaching folks wisdom by means Of
their follies, has contrived to create a
" "celery beauty course" As conse.
quence, there is huge and growing
demand for celery. Beauty doctors,
quick, as they must need be to tickle
the popular taste, are declaring that
no drug in the world has the potency
of celery for producing clear com.
plexion and bright eyes, and thus the
modest vegetable beloved by thousands
has now become q first favorite in
patrician circles. Says my authority:
"It must be eaten raw, if its beautify-
ing powers are to get fair play: and
much ingenuity is being expended in
serving it up in such fashion that it
will not become monotonous article
of diet. 1t is not only a beautifer.
according to its devotees, but it pro-
notes health in various ways, and
also inspires both energy and good
temper" This last am, personally,
quite prepared to believe. Celery will
promote good health, undoubtedly.
and good health means good temper
also undoubtedly. Wherefore, l
recommend the new beauty fad, and
trust that my married male readers
will see that this paragraph is placed
where it will do the most good.
Verbum sat sapienti.