davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-10-04
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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-10-04
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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-10-04

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-10-04

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The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-10-04

BARGAINS IN NEW AND SECONDHAND OF.
flee, store and bank fixtures; large stock of
new and second hand safes, all makes; show
cases, wall, counter and upright. roll-top,
brand-new Dinsmore typewriters. Also mini
eograph and letter files.
F TWIN CITY FIXTURE EXCHANGE CO.,
OBJ I'D 8.
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Would Be a Iokesmith.

Il don't belong TO anything save Con-
gress and the church." says Representa-
tive Adamson Of Georgia. but I would
ike 10 attend one meeting Of these Joke
smiths Of the press. these fellows who
write funny paragraphs, poems, jokes,
and yarns. and who make and unmake
politicians and other public men.
Il understand they are homely lot.
II none OF them measure up to the
standard Of beauty any more than does
Frank L. Stanton, of my State. then
think there is no wonder that when en-
tertained last year in Baltimore by the
Baltimore and Ohio Railroad the chief
Of police. who did not know them. told
his men gang of pickpockets had taken
possession of the city.
But myl my! Newspapers would lose
their best features II the Jokesmiths
should throw up their Jobs and go "a
preaching or come TO Congress. These
Jokesmiths are inventive fellows, too.
never told, or tried 10 tell. half dozen
Jokes IN my life. and yet I have been
forced to daddy hundred or So"
The Washington times., 1904-07-10

and Mr. Stephens, who represented one
OF the districts in which 'moonshining
was practiced to a considerable extent.
had endeavored 10 secure a pardon Tor
one of his constituents who had been
sojourning at the Albany, n. Y, peni-
Tertiary for several months.
The pardon was opposed by Commits
sioner Greer B. Raum and Attorney
General Devins Mr.. Stephens went TO
the White House and seated in his
chair was wheeled into the presence of
Mr.. Hayes. The brainy Georgia Con-
gresham made his appeal in behalf Of
the convict. but the President shook his
head
wen. Mr.. President" said Mr.. Ste
phens, i've have been among the few
Southern men in Congress who have
treated your Administration with any
consideration. If this man is not par
doned / will be defeated for reelection
just as certain as I sit here"
The President studied a moment and
then said:
Although it is over the heads of the
Attorney General and the Commissioners
Of Internal Revenue, ! viii pardon your
constituent, but, Mr.. stephens, / wish
you would ask him not to make any
more Illicit WhiSkey"
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Scripture Excepted Women.

Representative Hay of Virginia tells
Of good old soul in his district who has
passed 10 his reward.
THE old man was a good citizen. but
had his 'peculianties. as the saying is.
He had been an invalid for several
years. both OF his arms rendered useless
by a paralytic stroke. His misfortune
did not impair in the least his appetite
for the ardent. and thrice a day he
would take his toddy smoking hot from
the fireplace. his indulgent wife holding
the cup 10 his lips as he drank.
"On one occasion nephew had called
and the old gentleman wanted his toddy.
but refused TO permit the nephew TO give
ii 10 him. saying:
No. no. Sammy, the Scripter says
cursed be every man who putteth the
cup 10 his neighbours lips
But, uncle, don't you care for Aunt
Sally-how will she escape2'
'Scripter don't say anything about
curslng a woman for givin' a man his
toddy. Go call your Aunt Sally and let
her put II 90 my lips"
The Washington times., 1904-07-10

turist eIoquently describes HIS. garden TO
the visitor. Let his be taken as a
criterion. II is planted with potatoes,
beans, pole beans, radishes. I'VE have
had some for Mrs. Tyson already" said
the expositor with great pride, morning
glories and marigolds." The gardens are
cared for splendidly and TO those who
tend them in seeing things grow" they
feel rewarded for aching backs and ball
games missed.
Evening Fun and Frolic.
Dusk has deepened into night and in
door pleasures begin. over in the
gym a group OF would-be soldiers are
deep in the mysteries of right dress.
About face" Up and down the line goes,
the boyish joy in learning the military
art shining In each face. Other boys
punch the bag. which just now swings
back and hits a too ambitious youth In
the nose. much to his quiet discom-
Torture. Nearby an agile monkey of a
lad Is twirling rapidly around a pole. He
seems to enjoy this pleasure. strenuous
and doubtful as it seems to the pre-
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Would Macadamize Stream.

When General Grant was President
he made vigorous protests against the
expenditure of so much money for the
improvement of small streams not large
enough to permit the safe passage of a
small boat
A Virginia Representative says that
on one occasion an appropriation had
passed in the River and Harbors bill for
the dredging of a stream in that state.
The President did not approve of the
expenditure and consulted several Rep
.resentatives, among them one from Vir-
ginia.
Il crossed that stream in 1884, said
the President.
Yes, yes, you did, Mr.. President. You
know its location. and / trust the bin
VIII be signed" responded the law
maker from Virginia.
Yes. remember the stream very dis
The Washington times., 1904-07-10

JUDGED, for when his face can be seen
in the whirlwInd il wears a happy grin.
In the coy, big dining room a musical
lad plays the organ. Gathered around
hir st md a half dozen chums singing
with gnsto a repertoire beginning with
'Bedelia" and ending with THE Good
Old Summer Time There is no lack
of heartiness, and three interested crok-
mole players around a table in one cor
ner trying to play their "men" within
the mystic ring think there is entirely
too much. Two intent checker players.
eagerly playing the rubber" concur in
this belief. but the singers do not seem
dismayed. Every man 10 his own pleas
ure,f and song is theirs.
But the recreation hours are studious
hours to two boys in the quiet of Their
rooms. busy with book and pencil. A
look OF resolute determination dignihes
the boyish outlines as they wrestle with
knowledge. They could enjoy sport, too,
but manhood is dawning, and they must
be ready for the fray.
On Club Night.
On Tuesday nights the scene changes.
After supper the boys dispense to their
rooms, for it is "club night" and good
suits and full attendance are required
All hold il a point OF honor 10 keep this
day clear of other plans. Toilets made
refractory locks literally wet down." al
the hour of approaches the club mems
bers are unusually quiet, but are In
reality rehearsing the thrilling passages
of their speeches to themselves.
In the ciubrOom is an audience OF
parents and friends. Tramp. tramp VI
the stairs come the school boys and
younger children, orderly marching two
by two to their seats. Filling three OF
four benches they look around, one see'
mother: a second, the dear father alone
but for him the ranks are broken Fol
time the natural companionship o.
parent and child is renewed
With the entrance OF the working
boys Mrs Tyson, who acts as president
calls the club to order. After song
the roll is called. AS each name is
checked of its owner rises and re-
spends with an appropriate sentiment
Apt or Iudicrous, nearly all have one
ready.
willie Dorsey" reads the secretary
ard Willie" a baby Of four, startled
and shy. loses his wits and instead OF
the carefully conned BE sure you are
right, then go ahead" stammers out
Twinkle twinkle little star and or
through the childhood gem he laborious-
~ memorized for recitation time.
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
. HERE are missionaries as well as
moonshiners in Kentucky. and
= Senator Baekburn tolls this In

4 Senator Blackburn tells this in
terest1ng story about a preacher. a horse
and piain-spoken mountaineer:
Preachers IN many rural districts Of
Southern States have trials and tribu-
lations as they go from meeting house
TO meeting house 20 deliver the word Of
God. They are a hard worked and poor
~ paid lot, and yet there is little grum-
bling.
I once heard Of new horse being
presented TO one Of these preachers who
had many miles OF mountainous terri
tory 10 cover In order to I'll his ap-
pointments. TIE animal was not fine
in fact IL was what might lie called
stack OF bones.
The horse WIS presented the preacher
one Sunday just before the service be-
gan. Quite a crowd OF men were stand
ing around discussing its qualifications
The preacher remarked, I am much
pleased with my new steed. The horse
IS as good as tie animal our blessed
Saviour rode
Z" I guess that may be bout right,
parson. said 4 link mountaineer. an
darned ef haint OF the pinion hits the
same one
This broke up the crowd The
preacher entered the meeting house and
delivered HIS sermon"
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Plenty of Recreation There is, But Oppor-
tunity Also for Self-Help and Develop
ment and These Advantages Are
Well Utilized.
Well Utilized.

Never put off learning a sentiment
until the time comes to say it, re-
spends a lad who has done this very
thing, but is saved by his cleverness.
The prize quotation of the evening,
however, is. 1T Is a. poor rule that won
spank both ways When the laughter
subsidies the minutes are read and then
the debate begins.
Resolved. That winter is more de-
sirable season than summer"
A Specimen Debate.
The first speaker is David. captain OF
the Alternatives. The boys are divided
into sides. four or five making set
speeches and the rest speaking in gen.
eral debate AS David stands before
the Judges and audience his boyish air
Of confidence wins their favor
'Of course" he says, my main duty
is to deny everything my opponents
say. I room with their captain, and
only the other day / heard him say he
wished he knew some place where It was
winter all the time and not SO hot Now
he IS praising summer. but that speech
shows his real thoughts
Paul, the opposing captain, a dark
eyed, nervous boy. with attractive face
oiAN Ci4iN IGlSeS Il nearly
laugh by a quiet rejoinder. LAS usual
my opponent has denied everything ]
said before had chance to say it,
James Lawton. a small boy of ten, Is
father frightened. and prefaces his
speech with the remark: II have not
much TO say. but like summer best y
Just here. his thoughts go wool gath
erlng as he balances on one foot and
vainly tries to remember the rest of it,
A friend endeavors TO help him out
but the coaching on the side lines is
fercely resented by shut up" The
volunteer coach subsidies In abashed
silence. but the interruption has broken
the spell. With animation, comes the
remainder: 1T is true, mosquitoes bite
in summer, but that is all right. (Not
always. my dear fellow. Anyway, poor
PEOPLE have to buy coal in the winter,
bu. in summer they can lie out under
THE trees
| Wallace Gardiner, the clever eleven
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Money Glazed Man,s color.

Money covers a multitude of sins as
well as hiding Che color Of a mans
skin" says q Representative from the
Lone Star State while discussing the
disappearance of Mr.. Loomis. who left
Washington with the man Ellis, who Is
known 10 be cOlored but very wealthy
and liberal"
Ellis IS man Of good reputation, as
far as ] know. bH1 he does not like the
fact that he IL negro-had rather be
a Cuban, Haitian, or anything save an
African o. a descendant thereof. But
he manages to pick up both friends and
coin OF the realm. There Is a story told
on a certain Representative who attend
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Boys Thrown or Their Own Resources
Find There Comfortable Living Place,
Agreeable Comrades, and
Motherly Care.
Motherly Care.

intendent, Mrs. Tyson. Kindly at heart,
and the mother of two boys of her own,
she has the mother-instinct so devel-
oped that 1t will stretch and cover
her brood. no matter how large
She seems to understand to an unusual
degree the vagaries. peculiarities, and
lovable traits Of boy nature. and how
TO get the kinks out readily. That she
is successful is attested IN the case of
her own family one of her sons being
Aubrey Tyson. the successful author of
''The Stirrup Cup
Mrs. Tyson received her early expert
ence in the broader charities in the
mountains of North Carolina. where she
conducted a mission school in connec-
ton with the late Rev. Churchill Sat
terlee. son of the Bishop There the
demands on her patience were such as
to sweeten all her being, and fit her to
a peculiar degree for the task on which
she is now engaged. A saving grace of
humor is the sine qua non in her tenn
permanent, which gives her her control
over her boys. holds their affection. and
saves her nerves in the management Of
her brood.
To Sunday Times reporter. Mrs. Ty-
son EApidlNeG the SYSTEM OF the nome,
and how IT accommodates two classes
OF boys; the working boys proper. who
are partially or wholly seIf-sustaining.
and the little orphans. or semi-orphsns,
whose family. If there be one, is not
able TO provide a home Of their own.
These little fellows are called school
boys. in contradistinction from the work
ing element, and range down 10 VERT
able babies. She expressed qualification
that just now other homes are being
found for number OF these little fellow!
as this leaves room for more working
boys. and it is this class which the sup
erintendent feels most require the
benefits Of such an institution as the
one under her care. They are too old
for asylums," she explains. land more
over would not care TO live under such
circumstances II they could. A manly
spirit Of independence makes them de-
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Gave Good Advice.

Always give good advice" says Sen
ator Bate of Tennessee. Advice is
cheap, but good is just az cheap as bad.
Il once knew OF a young lawyer in
my State who was assigned by the court
10 defend a young negro charged with
larceny. The court directed the attor-
ney to confer with the prisoner and give
him the best advice he could under the
circumstances.
He retired with his client to an ad-
jacent room for consultation, and when
an officer was saaS 10 inform him that
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
More Water Needed.

1.-The Rev Henry Galloway was one
az the most beloved ministers the State
OF Maryland ever produced" says Rep
resentative Pearre, of that State, but
he was something of a wag. and APP
preciated good jokes. On one occasion
he had an infant to baptize in the
Chapel district, and he asked the name
of the child.
John James Augustus Andrew Man
ship, replied the father.
"'What?' asked Mr.. Galloway, as q
smile played over his face.
THE father repeated the child's Ions
'entitlements, as Sam Jones would say,
The minister jotted the name or names
down and going to the baptismal font
a tin basin-said:
Jim Green. go get some more water
there is not more than half enough here
TO baptize this baby in if we take in its
full name.
The Washington times., 1904-07-10

|year-oId secretary Of the club, candtaaz
says:
Il Ike summer, and 1 guess all boys
do. too, because school breaks up
then" Even this. however, does no-
console Clarence Murray, working
boy, who affirms, II have lost twenty
pounds since winter, and if I keep on
there will be nothing left by fall"
But bones" chimed in a joking
neighbor.
Awaiting the Verdict.
Clarence is the last regular speaker,
and the subject was then opened for
general debate. Even the shy boys are
irduced to say a word or two. and sew
eral sharp tussles are fought out by
two doughty partisans.
The captains then give their rebuff
tails and the arguments are left in the
hands of the judges.
The Literary and Debating CLUB was
started among the boys when Mrs.
Tyson first took charge Of the home.
They have shown an earnest interest in
IL. and helped It's success by faithful
attendance. It is = medium, too. be-
tween the boys and visitors and demon
strates what they think and their
aDii4LS-
Il consider the Debating Club gen.
erous helper with the boys" says Mrs.
Tyson THE marked Improvement It
has caused in speech. habits of think
ing. and general discipline is well worth
the efforts exerted to make it success
full"
Such is true picture Of the Home
in its everyday workings. This char
itv so broadly managed nv its board
OF governors and superintendent, is
worthy a larger attention than it re-
ceives For here is being nodded real
character from material that, good in
itself, would inevitably deteriorate but
for Just some such influence. And il is
we'll worth a visit on "club night" Just
to see the youngsters expand and re-
suond 10 the influences at work foT
their betterment, and the visitor VIII
come away with a CT tened spirit, as
from the sanctuary of a great and good
work well done.
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
"Hen Would Crow"

tells this good story:
IN the days when wOmans rights
were just beginning TO be rampant In
my State an eccentric though excellent
clergyman had a notice sent him that a
Mrs. would give public lecture on
woman's rights at the town hail, and
this notice ne was requested to read be-
fore his congregation with his other
public notices.
Accordingly on Sunday, after he had
given out his other notices and appoint
ments, he paused a moment and then
said. i am requested 10 give notice TO
the congregation that a hen will crow in
the town hall on Tuesday evening at
7:30 o'clock All who would like TO hear
her are invited to attend 4"
The Washington times., 1904-07-10

the court was waiting. the young attor-
ney was found in the room alone He
returned with the officer TO the court
room.
Where is your client? demanded
the Judge
He has left the place replied the
attorney-lawyers we call them in Tenn
essee.
What do you mean, sir?' asked the
judge in establishment
Your honor directed me TO give the
prisoner the best advice ! could under
the circumstances. He told me he was
guilty. and so. opening the window. l
told rim to jump and run. and he did.
He is now about FIVE miles from Muir
freesDoro II he has taken my advice
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Personals on Heads.

Jenkins was in the race for Congress
and Dunlap was running against him.
They met for a debate, and, as usual,
turned from discussing politics TO abus-
ing each other. Jenkins had a massive
head, and his opponents looked like a
good sized sweet potato. Jenkins wound
up his attack with
And still they gazed. and still the won
der grew,
That one small head could carry all he
knew"
Dunlap barely allowed him to get in
his seat before ne pointed toward his
big head and said:
And still they gaZed and then began
to hint,
So large a head. and yet so little int"
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Near Sources of Danger.

Considering recent terrible accidents
and loss of life on railways and steam
boats, the following IS not without sig
nifcance:
A medical man, advertising his "prac-
tice" for sale. winds uD, after stating
ali its advantages, with this startling
information. Not five minutes dis
lance from railway station and
steamboat wharf"
THAT advertisement" says a Repre-
sentative from West Virginia, carries a
world of meaning. II shows that prac-
ticing physicians are looking TO railways
and steamboats, to furnish them q large
amount of practice
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
Figures Were Accurate.

I'VE have character up our way who
used TO chop cordwood for a living, but
would spell himself with preaching oc-
casionally," says Representative from
Michigan.
"One day this man was preaching a
funeral for a worthy sister, when he felt
drawn 70 speak of the virtues Of the
defunct. and while on the subject took
occasion TO say that Sister Grimes was
born in IS, married in Is, had five
children. was converted in II by Elder
Jones. and now two of her children are
in the fold, one is not, and two have
gone TO Texas.
THE statement was consolatOry, the
figures were accurate
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
STORIES TOLD OF AND BY MEMBERS OF T SENATE AND HOUSE

a railway car by the side of a fashion,
abby dressed woman deeked with pro-
fusion of jewelry. The coach was not
even comfortably heated. The lady. who
had attempted to make friends with the
Quaker. remarked that she was real
cold.
1.-The weather is not warm" was the
courteous reply.
81 am cold. What shall 1 do to get
warm" continued the lady.
II really dc not know" replied the
Quaker, unless thee should put on an
other breastpin."
At the next station the lady changed
seats.
The Washington times., 1904-07-10
A Refined Thirst.

.'The great trouble with Sargent S.
Prenttss was that he had too great a
fondness for the ardent" said Repre-
sentative from Mississippi, while speak
ing of bright men. ''Prentiss had this
failing brought to his attention once
by an opponent, and he replied very
happily:
1T is true that sometimes drink
and sometimes drink to excess. Suppose
l do. I like the wines which for thou
sands of years have entered into the
blood of our emperors and rulers Wnlle
NV opponent is satisfied with the cheap
corn whisky of his constituents. IhaI Is
the only difference. gentlemen. Mine Is
a refined appetite, while my opponent 5
is depraved- -
This carried the day and PrenuSs
was elected "
The Washington times., 1904-07-10

- DIRTY boys, all in one home. and
~ all happy and contented. Think
4 Of Il, you who lie awake O. nights,
tyring TO devise ways and means Of
keeping two or three within bounds and
satisfied. How would you like TO be the
governing spirit and feeder" for forty?
Such are the conditions you viii find
however. by visiting the George Mauls-
by Working Boys Home, at the corner
OF Third Street and historic c Street, in
one Of the most historic houses on the
street. Here, under the direction OF a
board OF managers. and the supervision
OF Mrs. J. d. Tyson, the lads. ranging
In years from tiny tots to twenty-one
enjoy the comforts of a good, refined
home, without the moral pauperism Of a
purely Charitable institution.
Boys Self Supporting.
For. though the Home is endowed. and
IN receipt of frequent donations-other-
wise IL could not run for day-yet the
youngsters are required to pay nomi-
nal board while at work This is a vary
ing sum, based on the wage the boy Is
earning; usually it is $50 per week
Should the lad lose his job, he is not put
C1AF Jul - aAAONN0 ~ 81 antd4 On the
same basis TIL he gets another position,
IN which he is assisted by the Home
officials. Now, outside the Home 81 80
hardly suffices for room rent alone. To
this the ooarders who have tried II will
ali. testify. There is chap there now
who. firing Of the necessary regulations
or the Home. left IT and began bach
ing il In hall bed room. Within two
weeks he was back again with a dine
appreciation Of the advantages and
cheapness Of the Home. He now
earnestly maintains, and perhaps with
the best OF reasons. that nowhere In
Washington outside OF the Home can a
working boy. who has no home Of his
own. live deeently on the average week
~ wage paid a boy
In Good Hands.
Much Of the secret of homes sue
ces lies in the personality Of fts suDer