davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
A Mild and Unexpected Retort.

senator Tillnan talking 10 some reporters
ABOUT the efficacy OF mildness in debate.
one can't be too mild" he said land one
gets on especially well IL. along with ones
miIdness. there goes some and unexpected
quality To be mild and at the same time I'M
expected is. usually. TO succeed
Here is an instance Of what I mean
At the end OF theatrical performance one
man turned to another and cried in a harsh.
grating voice:
Look here. you have sat on my silk hat 1t
is ruined
The other looked at the silk hat. 1t was
indeed a wreck. He said:
am sorry. This is too bad. But he
added, 1T might have been worse
How might it have been worse?' exclaimed
the first with an oath
The answer then given was an excellent ex-
ample Of mildness, coupled with unexpectedness.
1t was:
might have sat my own hat New
York Tribune.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

ron OF bills from his pocket and laid IT in front
OF him.
ITS yours Re said
Mechanically and with trembling hand the
young man took the money.
You Were in the gameg' he said
Yes. and that is your money. about $500.
Git PLAYING poker. I began II sixty years ago.
on the Mississippi river. and have made a living
ont OF such folks you. With my coolness IL S
robbery TO play against your recklessness. 1 see
desperation IN your face. 1 am told that you
arc teller in bank and that you have a
wife, to whom you will lie about your absence
from home last night. Quit poker"
He walked out. and the young man. lower
ing his head 10 his folded arms, did not move
until tie attendant aroused him.-Chicago
Record Herald
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Man Who Fought the Merger.

Governor S. r. Van SAINT. OF Minnesota. tells
a story of his experience with TALL lank resi-
dent of Otter Tail county who walked into his
Office recently and. accidentally meeting him
at the door of the private executive office asked
for the Governor. Governor Van SAINT is some
what less than average height. stockily built
and rotund His appearance is that OF a pros
porous business man.
"You the Governor" the visitor asked
Yes" Governor Van SAINT responded
"You fit the merger" the man asked. Doubt
fully.
''Our State was concerned in the fight the
Governor replied.
WALL. the stranger retorted. II walked in
ninety miles TO git a look at you. I les
want to say. though. that IL that merger he'd
got a look at you they wouldn't ever been
any victory. They'd a jes' stompled long about
their business. You amt big enough to buck
even wood saw-"-Chicago Record Herald
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Five Cent Error Cost $4,000

The greatness OF little things finds frequen,
illustration in railroad operation. case has
just been discovered where. nine years ago an
error OF cents was made In the computation
OF a rate sheet between two given points /,
was found upon investigation that as a result,
of this error the two railroads operating be-
tween the two points have lost upward ST.. coC
In that time. This shows why railroads are
so strenuously opposed TO what are considered
inconsequential reductions I'm rates. The bust
ness in question was simply the passenger traffic
between Dallas. Tex. and small town located
a few miles away II Is the multiplication oil
the little things that seriously affects rail-
way revenues The loss of fraction Of a
a hundred pounds on some commodities
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD.
His Future Vacation,

The way mothers deck their children for
models has always been sore subject with
artists. ]. c. Brown painter of bootblacks and
street boys. has hired many picturesque gamin
to sit for him only to find day that his
ganin had been transformed into a cherub
Upon occasion of this sort he said to the
smiling mother:
I'm afraid your son won't do for this picture
Why he's ANGEL"
Yes SIR came the sharp retort
What are you going to make OF him when he
grows up?''
''Oh. sir! It's clear enough to me. He's that
fond of babies and so handy round wakes, I'm
going to make him undertaker.'-New York
Times
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

From Brooklyn borough courts is reported a
large increase in The number Of John Does -
The excess OF Does in Brooklyn, too is almost
coincident with the disappearance from the
courts OF Manhattan of Does and '.Roes -
In the old English courts, when the name of
a plaintiff unknown. the custom was to
describe him as John Doe" When the de-
PENDANTS name unknown he was described
as Richard Roe In the criminal courts the
name of unidentified male prisoner was en-
tered "John Doe and OF a female prisoner
as Jane Roe" In civil cases, with women
appearing as principals. Jane Doe" was the
name. in default Of any other for the female
p.aintiff. and Jane Roe" for the female de-
PENDANT
In Manhattan the colloquiaI use OF the word
dough as slang expression for wealth is
chargeabe with the words John Dough- de-
scribinS man OF money. AS John Dough has
come forward, John Doe has receded and the
name John Doe has been giving place in the
criminal courts to Walter JONES' AS Jane
and John Doe" have often been allied I'm legal
papers in court. 'Jane Doe'' has been super
seeded by Kate Best'-New York Sun
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
General Grants Grandson.

Captain Algernon Sartoris. a grandson OF Gen.
eral Grant, sailed on the French liner Ia Lor-
raine to-day route to Paris. where he soon
will be married to Germaine Cecile Nouffiard. a
niece Of Sir Charles Hall. In the second cabin
OF the steamship sailed Antonio Monies a
native Of Seville where he has a record az a
toreador. having killed. he says. 400 bulls. he
has been in Mexico for the past two months.
during which time. he says. he has fought and
killed twenty bulls receiving $500 for each
nght.-New York Letter.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

A lot of very silly stories are printed nv
certain papers to the effect that there will
be almost insuperable trouble in acquiring
the title OF the Panama canal OF course
1t Will take time: there are fifteen thousand
items In the inventories. and these cannot
be disposed of onhand. Attorney General
Knox says II VIII take from thirty to sixty
days to arrange all the details. but that
there Is nothing in the way. The members
OF the canal commission will sail for the
isthmus before the end OF this month
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

One OF the most successful If book publishers.
speaking of book advertising. says: Book ad-
vertising has become matter of news in the
past ten years Readers will not wait a month
0or Magazine advertisements) know about
your publications, 30 you must tell them in the
dailies. The increase in book sales may be traced
TO the OF the newspapers for advertising
them" or one book he says; 1T has been one
of our most successful books. We spent 81 500
in caiiies before the day OF publication. and
sales were so good we had difficulty in printing
enough CONGRATULATIONS Record.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Scrap of Forgotten History.

Crossing the Hydaspes river Alexander the
Great next encountered Porus. the Indian prince.
After stubborn fight he subdued him and
took him prisoner
How do you wish to be treated?'' he asked
him.
Like king" replied Porus with dignity.
You disconcert me-" rejo!ned Alexander.
frowning. II had thought OF using you for q
plaster"
Impressed with the idea, Porus at once be-
came his ally. and stuck to him faithfully there
after.-Chicago Tribune
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

next April. His limp is worse than ever. end
the admiraIs constitution may be said 20 have
been shattered by his last tour OF duty in the
Orient While the feet coalng recently
at Honolulu Evans kept TO his apartments at
the hotel
He will be succeeded by Admiral Cooper I'm
command OF the As.atic station. In April. and
will then return TO New York the flagship
Kentucky by way Of the ELECTROMAGNETIC
York Commercial
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Wise AdOlplrus.

patriotic drill was given by the kindergar-
ten in Anthony a few days ago. 1t began by
displaying a portrait of George Washington.
who is thisT' the teacher asked. Visitors were
present. and. of course. the children failed to
show off. They sat mute and unresponsive till
finally one little fellow piped up. AZ know who
1t isl! he shouted. I'VE got that picture at
home! Mamma told who 1t Isl well,
then. Adolphus" said the teacher ''you may
tell US who it is Adolphus swelied with pride
Its father from the country" he said
Kansas City Star.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
An Insight Into Society.

The laundresss little daughter had been al
lowed to peep into the dining room. where the
table was set for dinner party.
And. mamma" she said later, every plate
had two forks by IL. What was that for?'
You don't know the ways of your betters,
child" replied the laundress. The extra fork
is in case they drop one the fioor."-Detroit
Free Press.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Eject of Teaching.

Dick is the boy TO whom a loving grand
mother sent box of tenpins as a birthday
present several years ago. The pins were light
and not very well proportioned, and wouldn't
stand up we'll They toppled each other over
before the boy had time to roll the ball. Several
times he sat them up, only to find one or two
down as soon as he crossed the room. A memory
of a familiar Sunday-school song required to
him. He took the pins by one and placed
them carefully.
stand up, stand up for Jesus" he sang at
the top OF his Observation-Disclosures Press.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

ture and cage the grand duke. BY the
way he is head OF one of the most ancient
royal houses OF Europe. holds a front rank
among German rulers. and is the first
European reigning sovereign who has ever
come to the United states.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

Before adjourning. the Kentucky Legisla-
ture passed bill app-opriating $4,000 to
erect statue of Governor" Goebel. This.
with the 100000 appropriated to arrest and
prosecute his murderers, which has been
used as fund to corrupt justice is a con-
siderable sum to expend in clarifying one
OF the worst politicians that any State was
ever afflicted with
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
THE FUNNY YOUNGSTERS.
Red Pepper for Ants.

small boy who lived with his aunt and
grandma noticed that the regular black pepper
shaker was filled with red pepper. This startled
him and turning to his aunt. who sat next at
the table. he said: You better any
Of that red pepper. Aunt Harriet; grandma says
that red pepper kills ants"-Chr:stian Inteli-
gencer.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Fooled.

The inventor was tearing his hair his per-
petuaI motion theory. when he interrupted
BY a request that he should settle his gas bill.
Fool that I am, he sighed. II forgot that
the man who invented meters forestalled me-
With a groan he burned the results OF life
times toll and drew the first rough sketch OF
a flying machine.-New York Sun.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

COnaDlaccncy.

Aren't you afraid that great many people
will criticise you for becoming rich?''
Yes" answered Senator Sorghum. but the
chances that IL l had stayed poor they
wouldn't have noticed tat much
Washington star
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
All Down.

Mrs Newlywed-Doctor that bottle OF medi-
cine left for baby is all gone.
Doctor-Impossible! / told you to give him q
tablespoonful once an hour.
Mrs Newlywed-Yes: but John and I and
mother and the nurse have each TO take tea
spoonful. too in order to induce baby to take
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

Cardinal Gibbons protests against Jim
Grow" legislation in Maryland. There are
few subjects on which his E;nincnce is un-
able TO give wise. straightforward opinion,
and it may be safely assumed that his ut
terances will not be dictated by sectional
prejudice.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

A few days ago IL was announced that
the Grand Duke OF oldenburg had arrived
at New York unexpectedly. having come to
the United States on flying trip to see
Niagara Falls. Now cablegram says the
oIdenburg newspapers voice the general in
dignation felt in the grand duchy at the
entirely unexpected trip OF the grand duke
to the United States. They need not get
esctted: the American people win not CAP
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Youns Poker Players Lesson

An old man sat at late breakfast in a ho,e,
cafe last Saturday, when a young man with
haggard face and downcsst eyes took a place
near him.
Tom" said the newcomer to the attendant
II must light for 1 played in hard luck
last night"
The old man had finished and sat studying
the others face he ate. Shortly he TOOK
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Admiral Evans'x Health.

Everywhere in the United States regret will
be felt TO learn that Admiral RoSley ID Evans
the commander OF the As.atic fleet is but little
than a shadow OF his former robust self
Fighting Bob has lately undergone a great
change physically, and Is about ready to retire
from active duty when his term expires
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Conditions which Justify the Use OF
Alcohol.

l. When the pulse is persistentiy weak
2. When there is persistent high temperature.
3. When there is nervous exhaustion.
4. when there Is tremor or low delirium-
?. When the digestive system falls to DO IL
work
6. When the aged feeble exhausted
Z. Cases OF shock or accident.-From Food and
Cookery for the Sick and Convalescent.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

IL is reported that the holy office has de-
ciced to excommunicate the Able Loisy.
The able is an extremely brilliant
ecclesiastic and writer but his views are
more advanced than those taught by his
church. so he may have to join the great
army so ably represented by Briggs ct al.
The Catholic Church is broad and deep.
but 1t never winks at heresy.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Grass, Etc.

1t used be that good lawn could not be
made in less than hundred years.
But in our day few weeks suffice where there
is plenty o. money
And. since all flesh is as the grass. why need
IL longer take three generations 10 make q gem
tlelnan where money Is plenty Puck
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
.Cnviare to the Generar.,

Shakespeare didn't know much about Russia
when he used the phrase 'caviare to the gen.
eral.' sgnifying that the public were not cana
BILE of approaching a play Gays a returned
tourist. why. caviare is as common In Russia
an article OF food as potatoes are In America
Vast quantities eaten BY the lowest CLASSES
During the three annual seasons of fasting mar
ticulariy the consumption is very great The
people eat IL q kind OF rye bread with Vine
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Quite the Contrary.

You misjudge me- said the hypocrite. re-
proachfully- II admit 1 poor. weak mortal,
but lying is not one of my faiings."
1T certainly is not" agreed the hard-hearted
man. 1T is Of your scs.Y-Philadel-
phia Press
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

The only point on which Congress dis
agrees Is as to what shall be done with the
man who wrote the Bristow report Some
want to boil him in oil. but a conservative
minority thinks that faying and burning
at the stake will be enough. Let us hope
that the huIna nitarians will win
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

Our ears tingle." says an Ohio paper:
the South is saying harsh things of u.s.
Make no mistake-it is not only the South
but the East and the West and the North
Feeling. over such occurrence as the
Springfield lynchinS is not sectional. but
national
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

1t is reported that peace has been
permanently restored i'm the Hungarian
Diet, but the report sounds like a wild and
fanciful dream. Nobody who has read
Mark Twain's description of that august
body can ever think OF it otherwise than as
scene resembling cross between a col
lege cane rush and panic on the Stock Ex-
change
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
No Room for Doubt.

ooh. N.Y. yes. he's always up Shakespeare"
rs he? 1 shouldn't have guessed that he had
ever read s line OF Shakespeare"
That's strange. Haven't you noticed that
every little while he says in sooth? Chicago
Record Herald.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

Georgia paper says Hearst is the
greatest statesman since Thomas Jeffer-
SON." That the editor has not yet been
1yncheG proves that the South is indeed
making progress I'm all Christian virtues.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

The Roman mother as a tradition may
yet yield to the Japanese mother in song
and story. The one rejoiced when her sons
were killed while fighting for their coun-
try, the other kills herself that she may
not keep her son from going to war; This
10 indeed the very acme OF patriotism.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

means thousands II not millions Of dollars to the
railroads, and makes the difference between
profit and loss. 1t is only by the most jealous
care that railroads are enable TO maintain
their revenues a paying basis and IT is for
this reason that the value of little things is
so well understood by railway officials generally.
Raxyie
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
MINOR TOPICS.

IL Is generally known that the years 100
leoo and 1900 were not leap years, but ii is
not so well known that 1000 was leap year.
and tnat ZOO will also be. 1t is a common
saying that the century years. are NOT
leap years. but that is not quite true.
Three days are lost in every four centuries.
and thus the calendar will be kent right for
5000 years And so there will not be a space
of eight years without a leap year until
200 a. ID.
In the course of article on arnbidexter-
ity the London Daily Mail gravely asks.
DO monkeys eat nuts with one hand moro
than with another?" The Journal is not an
authority on ambidexterity, but it is reas-
onably sure that all monkeys which have
visited this part of the country have eaten
nuts with their mouths and not with their
hands.
Here is a curious story from Kansas In
the State University there was n class in
Journalism which took the final exam;na-
ton the other day. only one member fail
ing to pass. He was a practical newsna-
per man. 1t seems as hard to make n
journalist out of a newspaper man as IN
make a newspaper man out of a Journalist
Hearing that the Observation-Disclosures
Gewerbverein intended to come 70 the
worlds fair, ST. Louis hurriedly looked to
her coast defenses. Later advices. however
showed that it was not a Russian battle
ship, but an Austrian society, and Missouri
breathes freely again.
THE man who commits suicide has no
of h,,vxx
the Propylaeum the other night. That is
not so certain; the man may have an over
developed sense Of humor. Some persons
appear to kill themselves just for the fun
of the thing.
Tolstoy has completed a new book. bur
he states that it will not be published until
after he is dead. When Tolstoy shows that
much lear OF the censor it argues that he
has written something remarkable
The Russian government. II is said ;s
buying white horses for the officers. This
may appear foolish at first sight, but Rms
STA is deep-perhaps she is determined IN
get rid of those officers.
President Roosevelt has engaged a IAN
anese instructor TO teach him the art of
jiu-jutsu. Just wait until he gets il learned.
and then bring on your cranks.
Lord Rosebery alluded to Premier Bal
four as pretty funny" And right in tie
House of Lords. too. where such violent
language is unknown.
a New York philanthropist dropped
dead on the street the other day. Someone
must have said THANK you
The natives of the State Of Cauca wish
to secede from Columbia Is there also a
Caucasian canal, then?
Englishmen have landed Brazilian $50
100000 harbor contract. Mercy, Where's
the Monroe doctrine?
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
Yents.s xhortcominr-

Mr. Yeats the Irish poet. says he Was aston
ished that instead OF finding a semI-barhario
people outside OF the large cities I'm this coun-
try. he found in most cases. they were highly
cultured IL Mr.. yeats's imagination equailsn
s.s creSuity ne would be a very great pn~a ~
csed.-Ne~ York TribunAA
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
THE EUMORISTS.
Making Himself safe First.

What are you plunging back in the water for,
Pat7 You just swan ashore.y
'Shure. OF had to save meself first; Oim
goin' back TO fetch Moike Modern Society.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

And still nobody seems to know whether
Port Arthur has fallen not. The only
way to find cut is TO go and see, and by
that time she may have got up again.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

Revelations concerning Mormon doctrine
have heretofore been accorded only to
apostles, but now the entire American pub
lie is getting them.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
1kE INDIANAPOLIS JOURNAL NEWSPAPER co.
Indianapolis, Ind.

Persons sending the Journal through the mails
N the United States should put eight or
tNeiNe-pase paper l-cent stamp; on sixteen.
twenty or twenty four-page paper a 2-cent
All communications intended for publication In
this paper must. In order receive attention. be
writer.
Rejected manuscripts will not be returned I'M
less postage Is iEcIosed for that purpose.
Entered as second-cass matter at indianapolis,
Ind. pOstoffice
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16
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The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

There Is no Republican faction fight in
Indiana. but it is becoming evident that
there will be one n the Democrats can ar
range IN
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

gar. The better classes oil and lemon juice.
Sturgeon roe alone is not the source OF supply.
The roe OF all large fishes is used but that of
surgeons is regarded the best"-New York
Press
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-03-16

Panama will get ready for business by
adopting the gold standard. The little re-
public is certainly getting started right