Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-09-30
DRIFTWOOD

! Built and run by....... .Lue f. Vernon
BuS ness rooms ANY old place
Editorial rooms. Wherever my rent is paid
Pieces washed up by the tide. doomed sawed
split and piled for the perusal and pastime of
row ana steal the STANDARD in order that they
may enjoy little sunshine as they journey
through the vale of lears.)
1t is not "Nay, nay, Pauline" in
San Francisco. but Stay, stay, Lena"
The P..I. says Bryan is for himself.
Well, If this be true, he has not one
bit the best of the Rough Rider"
Teacher" What does the chief pop
ula;ion of Tacoma consist Off"
Pupil-Of picture postal-cards and
totem poles"
In order to be strictly up-to-date,"
unused Satan, the subject of the Fall
repairs and alterations being under
consideration, 81 suppose we ought TO
have grillroom for the society peo-
ple"
The Republicans claim that Teddy
is such a brave man in uttering his
opinions on any question, hurt whom
it may. Well, he has not answered
the question put to him by the min
ers yet; is Colorado on the map?"
And he won't until after the snow of
ballots fall, if then.
It makes fellow somewhat sore to
see the person he has loaned SIS to buy
groceries for his family, sitting in the
reserved seat section with three friends
whom he has paid admission for, treat
ing them to refreshments and so on, at
the circus when he has to sit on the
opposite side of the tent on some straw
and-smile and look pleasant.
The upper-crust OF society is a wo-
man who is inflated with egotisn and
vanity. She lives for show. She
does not wish to become q mother.
She looks upon her husband as purely
q machine for making money. Halt
OF her life is spent il dispensing social
functions. There is a touch OF the
upper.crust in Olympia, but it has
not got fairly baked yet.
The New York Central Railway Co.
have lost locomotive. Inquiries are
being made all over the line about it.
It's sort of odd for q locomotive to be
lost, still we expect to see, after No
vember next, an ad. in the big Re-
publican dailies reading somewhat like
this
LOST.-A largesized elephant. on November
animal and giving information that will lead to
his recaptnre will be handsomely rewarded Ad-
dress, g. o.. p.
Lotta NJ. Crabtree, once a stage
favorite, has just sold for $4,000 a
piece OF San Francisco real estate for
which she paid $4,000 some years
ago. Miss Crabtree made q great deal
of money as an actress and is now re-
puted to be several times o million.
aire. She is the actress who present.
ed the city of San Francisco with the
fountain which stands in front of the
Chronicle Office on Market street
known as the Lotta" fountain.
"Swallow and Carroll" are the can
didates for President and Vice Presi.
dent on the Prohibition ticket. How
in the devil does the prohibition peo.
pie ever expect to win with such
names2 Swallow and Carroll. You
bet, that's us! We like to Swallow
and Carroll, and that's why we must
decline TO parade with the prohis.
My, what a chance the liquor dealers
are missing by not having ticket in
the field and hiring Swallow and Car.
roll TO head it. Swallow and Carroll,
you bet.
Ex-Speaker Henderson is quoted as
saying that New York is no place
for Q man with only one leg" The
Louisville Times assents to the declar-
alton and adds that Success in New
York is dependen. upon the ability to
kick the other fellow first" The
Times may or may not lie correct, says
the Comn,oner. But it is generally
believed that one.legged man stands
poor show of getting ahead of New
York, for the reason that while his
leg is being pulled" he has not an
other one to get along with. Recent
financial events prove beyond a per-
adventure that "leg pulling" is one
of the chief occupations of the men
who pose as the "captains of indus
try"
One has but to compare the SER
mons OF twenty years ago on the sub.
ject of eternal punishment with those
of to-day, to realize that the iold.fash.
ioned hell is much different in char
acter and in population from the new
one. This change in the old time
popular idea of hell is due to q change
in human character. Men are more
tolerant of their fellow men, and more
concerned over their welfare. Public
charities are more abundant. Hos.
pitfalls are increasing in number and
efficiency. Associations have for their
aim the betterment of the unfortun-
ate and are springing up on every