The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-10-01
COUNTRY IS SAFE.

NOW that the irrigation season is
drawing to a close, the farmers
fancy lightly turns to politics, and
he arises in the morning to inquire,
What's doing?
Roosevelt has finally made up
his mind to accept the nomination
and in cordial communication,
bristling with fact, sense and chal-
lenge, to his friend Cortelyou, gives
ample reason for his course.
Parker, too, after days of weary
reflection, has accepted. In his
letter announcing the fact, he tells
us that his reason for doing so is
that his brand of Republicanism is
generally of more placid and
soothing quality than is Roose-
velt's. He says that he will smash
the trusts, if they need it, not by
drastic statutory legislation, but by
sedative actions at common law.
He reiterates his unchanging love
of the gold standard. but is provok-
ed to no reseutful feeling because it
is not mentioned in the platform.
He promises to deal with the tariff,
as fond mother with a wayward
son, so gently and tenderly, that
the operation will never be felt
by the victim. He is, also, good
and kind to the little brown broth
er, and promises to give him indie
pendence in the fullness of time
and the day of his preparedness.
We like Parker's letter of accept
ance better than Roosevelt's. Par
ker is so placid, so restful, so etern-
ally and immutably safe and sane.
1t is as if he said, make me Presi-
dent and I will again relaps into
that beautiful Sphinx like quietude
from which have been so rudely
awakened"
Frank Gooding has also accepted
and when last heard from was up
north building railroads, upholding
the two-mile limit law and crying
in the wilderness for that the public
funds depository act came to an TN
timely end.
Harry Hatful, too, is among the
accepters, and is storming around
in the enemy's country. The other
day he was butchering polygamists
In New Sweden to make a grand
Democratic rally. He is boarding
the Latter Day Saints in their den.
His belt is decorated with the
scalps of seven bishops, nine elders
and an entire section of the Young
mems female relief society. Yes
terday he raided a Conjoint meet
ing and carried away IS 7oties.
Benjamin Franklin Clay has quit
farming under the Caldwell High
Line of unpleasant memory, and
has gone forth to stab the Mormon
hierarchy. Right now is the time
to warn the priesthood that the
avenger is on its trail. Benz amir
Franklin Clay is destroyer of reli-
gious intolerance; heis hater of the
polygamic dispensation from plain
doubling to celestial concubinage.
He will carve the incubus from the
hip of the body polite, and he has
got carver two feet long to do il
with.
Burt French did little accepting,
also, and forthwith buckled up his
Joins and went up among the Lam
antics to open a can of beans. He
has the campaign we'll in hand or
the South Fork where fishing is
uncommon good.
And the Statesman-the Boise
moral and intellectual dynamo -
also accepted-the situation-a:
gracefully as hippopotamus. L
is now crying for Frank Goodine
and Senator Hepburn as strenuous
1y as a red headed baby for a PAL
bottle.
Taking all these things into con
sideration, the country must be safe
at least, upto the present writing
and if she goes to pieces hereafter i
wont be our fault.