Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24
HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

The great day had at last dawned.
Percivale Merwyn Swinepen, the only son.
was coming to spend the Christmas holi-
days on the old farm, together with his
sister. Eloise Marcella Swinepen, the only
daughter.
Percivale was q student at Yale, and
Efoise was receiving the finishing touches
at Wellesley.
Neither had been at home for the holidays
for three years on account Of the long dis
tance from their respective seats of learn
ing to the old farm. and also because Per-
civale and Eloise had, at the beginning OF
each holiday season, more than eaten up
the chance to spend the Yuletide season at
the palatial homes of rich chums In the
east
But now they were coming back to the
old farm for the holidays, at the urgent
and almost beseeching invitation OF their
Consequently, all hands on the farm, as
stated, had been on the kee we've for many
weeks.
About five hours before they really need
ed to have started the happy old farmer ano
his wife drove through the snow so the
railroad station in the old surrey. arrived
at the township in which the station was
situated, they had a gay time OF IL Whiie
waiting for the train. They poush'
cents worth of crackers and cheese and
some ginger snaps wherewith to peguiie
the time while they waited for the tram
fed the horses at the back of the surrey
and eagerly looked up the track 1or the
first smoke of the painting engine
When the train at length drew alongslae
the station and hesitated for moment
their excitement was intense
Well 1t maght have been!
And yet the happy old paw ana NAV
hardly knew their progeny when Percivaie
and Eloise stepped off the parlor car.
The one-time freckled-faced, round
shouldered stumbling Percivale MerWyh
was now only shade under SIN ies. w. y.
Atlas. and a general look as II he might De
able to give Jeffries the hottest run TOT the
big end of the gate receipts tnat the poiiei
maker had ever stood for.
Perciyale was diked out In an $SO cutaWay
suit of English worsted covered by Ches-
terrified storm-coat of chinchilla that maoe
his dads faded old oliye-greeh OVERSEE :
look like cents worth OF raolum m
dry goods box Percivale, In snort, Iooheu
as II he would do just as well on Broad
way or on Beacon street as ne Wouio III
Punkinville. a.. ,,a-
FIoise Marcella was. similarly. the mer-
chandise all three ways across itne me, po az,
From a hanky- pank hoyden. with inVo,-
untarv warts on all of the diglts OF Dotn
of her hands. Eloise had blossomed INTO ai
Atalanta in melton tailored suit anu
picture hat. Eloise had grown TO apou. nv nv
feet ten. Hebe-shaped, and If Eloise, as sne
stepped off the train, wasn't raging peau
ty, then the Empress Dowager Isl AN VI
China is one. .o,onod
EIoise Marcella looked as If she belonged
in London Illustrated News picture VI
lawn fete at Hatfield House, engaged ln
serving champagne punch Win the DUCHESS
of Bigdust as running mate
s.Why, hello there, popkovitch: shouted
Perciyale Merwyn, stepping off the car and
crashing the old mans proud horny paw.
"Same old fringe, 1 see!' playfully t"ld-
ding the old mans galways and giving q
realistic imitation of whlstilng WHO WHO
through his teeth. Ana, say SIS, set WIS.,
to the same old highwaters! pointing
archly to the old mans high-hitched trou-
sers. And still with the same old nome
made haircut, hey, popskyE-Wel' Wen,
WELL" and the bright, sunny-nfst urea lao
once more clutched the old mans hand.
well shucks, hay-o. maw"' said Efolse
Marcella to her mother, offering her bloomy
cheek you look all tucked up. Stlll get
ting out of bed at o'clock every morning
and milking those thirty cantankerous Hoi-
STEMS | suppose? And. glory on US, the
same old Paisley shawl, do declare! And
nav. how your nose does shine-soapy,
soapy. And talcum only dime box: And
the same old cameo brooch, yes. rush;
mamma, and I observe that you're still
wearing brogans! Well, WELL dear old
mawv' :,
Oh, never, never, were such happy holi-
day greetings heard before at the Punkln'
vile station!
And with such bright quips and quirks
they drove to the farm in the old creaking
surrey. Percivale and Eloise kidding each
other and the staring population lined along
the road.
.sWen, it won't do, that's ALL observed
Percivale when once more. after his lone
absence he had crossed beneath the Ole
Intel why, it looks like the cotter's Sat
urday night. Pop. you want to tear II down
and build a house, that's all. Say, dye
mean to say that you eat In this room yet
Why, say, Chink wouldn't stow chop
suey in his face in such dining room as
this-on the level he wouldn't! The hui
plants got to come down, that's all, and 9
sure enough place to live in has got to be
built on the site"
Well, wouldn't this make you need a
tonicr' murmured Eloise Marcella, looking
damask table cloth, with holes in it, on the
dining room table! And didn't l write tc
you. nav, and ask you to put up some cute
Swiss curtains? And, say-Percy, hold me
will you?-look at that contr!Vance or TINS
middle ages in the parlor-that what-no'
with the dinky shells and curled-up autumn
leaves spraddled all over it! Wouldn't thai
give you the locomotor ataxia! There's nc
use in talking, NAV, you've got 10 cut ou'
this antediluvian business and get next
or there'll be something transpiring around
here, and that's no Stoessel dispatch. Why
the whole outfit looks like four days or
burroback through the Arkansas noun.
tains, with all of the coils of the backyard
still leaking!'
The old farmer and his wife
But, just moment.
If the indulgent reader imagines that this
narrative is going to wind up in the con-
ventional style of the epoch, he might just
as well pick up the other part of the pa
per and read the Rockville news and how
Port Arthur didn't fall yesterday.
The usual method of terminating this
story would be to have the horny-handed
old farmer proceed to vulgarly expectorate
on his mitts, roll up the sleeves of his red
flannel undershirt, invite Percivale Merwyn
out to the old red barn. hand Percivale all
that was coming to him for some fifteen
minutes or more. and then put Percy to
work cleaning an old set of harness with
a bum rag and bottle of neat's-foot oil.
And, similarly, the mother of the rare
and radiant Eloise would proceed to prance
into the young woman with an assorted
line of Cynthia conversation about Eloise
having become too ample for her shirt
waists, and then Eloise Marcela would be
rugged out in green and red Bingham
wrapper and set to work ironing the hired
mems lingerie.
However
It is the endeavor of this newspaper to
cleaye unto the strictest truthfulness in its
delinea lions of what happens under cir
cumstances such as these. even at the sac
rifice of the most screechful humor.
That being the case, 1t just happened
that Percivale Merwyn and Eloise Marcella
Instantly became the main push from the
minnie that they got back to the old farm