The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1904-04-09
AS ARTEMUS WARD SAW THE
1MORM0NSF0RTY YEARS AGO

| It was in. 1864, Just forty years. ago,
lnat Artemus Ward visited Salt Lake:
City and found in the Mormons a fer
| Tie held for his quaint and original
numor. Returning overland in the fall
Of that Year, MIR: Ward, or Charles r.
KroWne, as he was known in private
life, featured on "Mormons" to i'm
mense audiences,an in the spring Of
1864 he began his famous tour through
the country, drawing enthusiastic au-
dfenees everywhere, North and South.
Me-. Browne, wrote several sketches Of
the Mor,nons, Of which the following
Is the best and most celebrated:
1t is now goin on (too) yeres, as
very we'll remember, since I crossed
land OF Jold, While crossin the Planes
all SO bold fell in with some red men
OF the forest IN. B. This is rote Sar-
castlcul. Injuns: is Pizen,. whar ever
found) which they Sed 1 was their
Brother, & wanted to smoke the Cal
omel Of Peace with me. They then
stole my jerkt beef, blankits, etsettery,
skalpt my organ grinder & sceoted
with a Wild Hoop. Durin the Cheats
techin speech he sed he shood meet
me III the Happy Huntin Grounds.
If he duz thare will be a fite. But
enuT of this ere.
arrove at Salt Lake in doc time.
At Camp Scott there was q lot of U.
5. sogers, hosstensibly sent out thare
to smash the mormons but really to
eat Salt vittles& play poker & other
beautiful but sumwhat onsartin games.
got acquainted with sum of the off,
GERS. They fookt putty scrumpshus in
their bloc coats with brass outings
onto um & ware very talented drinkers,
but SO fur as fltin is cosarned I'd WILL
lngly put my wax figgers agin the
hull party.
My desire was to exhibit my CRATE
show in Salt Lake City, so called on
Brigham Yung, the CRATE mogull
among the mornalns, and axed his per-
mlshun to pitch my tent and onfurl
my banner to the jentle brezis. He
lookt at me in a austeer manner for a
Few minits. and sed:
DO you bleeve, in Solomon, Saint
Paui, the immacu1ateness of the Nor
min Church and the Latter-day Rev.
elashuns?'
SEE I, I'm on ito I make it a pint
to git along plesunt, tho didn't know
what under the Son the old Teller was
drlVin at. He sed T mite show.
you air a marrid man; Mister Yung,
[ bfeeve?'' seq L preparin to rite him
sum free parsis.
II hev eighty wives, Mister Ward. I
sertinly am marrid.''
How do you like it as far as you
hev got?' sed I.
He sed ''niddlin,'' and axed me
wouldn't like to see his famerly, to
which I replide that wouldn't mind
minglin with the fair Seek & Barskin
in the winin smiles Of his interestin
wives. He accordingly TUX me to his
Scareum. The house is powerful big &
in exceedin large room was his wives
& children. which larst was squawkin
and hollerin enuff to take the roof rite
OFF the house. The Wimin was Of all
sizes and ages. Sum was pretty & sum
was Plane-sum was helthy and sum
was on the Wayne-which is verses,
tho SIGH was not my intentions, as l
don't prove of putin verses in Proze
ritins, tho eff occashun requires I can
Jerk a Poim ekal to any Of them At
lantic Munthly fellers. .:
my wives, Mister Ward" sed Yung:
Your sarvant, marnls.": sed I, as I
sot down in cheer which a red-heded
female brWt me.
Besides these wives you see here,
Mister Ward" sed Yung, II hev
eighty more in varisparts of this con-