The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-03-29
CettesS tc ti,e Gdftci'
Vanity and Such.

Editor The Advertiser:
 | I reckon we are all afflicted with van- fly. You can hardly call 1t catching" because every fellow seems to have been born with too much to take any more Some are vain of enc thing, some Of an- other and some, for the lack of some thing at all. are pufted up because they are mot as other ncn.' We just cart help 1t and have to suffer on our three score years" proud of our pruny fedth 'rs while folks are making all kinds of fun of our giaring. ugly features. There's one consolation--we have the smr,e view of others. in their vanity and detormity. If vanity is the evidence of sclf-tatis- faction ot perfection (and reckon 1t ls) we ought to consider it more virtue than a fault If one Is not thoroughly satisfied with himself how can he expect others to be? But, I am almost persuad- ed that occasionally (not oftcn) fellow pops up inflated with the past tense Of that 'Alpine village" travelurs motto lately rendered. I'm the. stuff, puddle and wont admit the possibility of virtue
 This kind of vanity Is deplorable and ridiculous and reminds me of the story of the foolish man who built his house up on the sand"
 When this kind of fellow turns his attention to politics he's pretty apt to be guilty of a great love for the .com- mon masses of the common people and means to do something out S ot the su0GaI ogai brooches" in the re-enforced part. In your long and varied experience you may have seen such man. Sometimes such a fellow hypnotizes the common people to his success and then the poor fellow appeals to our pity as one who has bit | off more than he can chaw. or more elegantly, as the one whose ambitlnn IS above ability" And. I have concluded that the man who seeks office, with grievance or a hobby or prejudice te lightweight of the Get there Ell family who is all unconsclously, laying mine, I Al AyvA AnFN will take the wind out of the sails of | his vanity to a paralyZing degree. It Is noticeable that every editor. from the c. | lombiad to the penny whistle. is alwaNs err about planting time, as to what he should do, as to crops, etc. and of course, We are thankful for agricultural adVlce from the sanctum of agricultural ign0, rance but as one of the horny handed would like to invite Gods lavish or advice to the sons of toil' to beware of the man who has "an ax to grind, or who. because our hands are horny, would use them to pull some chestnuts out Of the fire. As general thing we are not rated very high intellectualSv but just before elections we are credited with very superior order of common nse-tne the wool" over the eyes-and the press ought not to hide its light under the bushel of party harmony" but throw It's most powerful rays on Eli so that sensi- ble and enlightened people can give the trifing impostor a touch. at least. of Brother Walldrups sermon to sinners.
 Speaking of vanity, my own. which is very commendable kind. was, the other day, ruffled if not rudely shocked I've been the Cincinnatus of two movements (which discounts the originaD and, reckon, 1 must be the fellow for whom Diogenes vainly looked with torch at midday; no relation. in the remotest de- gree, to that notorious gentleman, who Is to be commended for his keen apprecta- tion of wounded honor in treachery and His appropriate remedy Ohough on speak ing terms with many of his descendants or successors); pretty close kin to the conscientious man who swore the horse was sixteen feet high because he had. un- consciously said it or to the good man who killed nine hundred and ninety-nine pigeons in one day and whose little boy was so shocked at another bows sugges- ton of making d thousand that he ex: claimed. "D'you reckon my daddy would tell lie just for one pigeon?' or. to end this long sentence, to George Washing l ton.
 i Indeed. was vain enough to plead guilty to pardonable fame But it's an to introduce myself to old friends and. worst of all, my letters are directed to the "care" of a fellow whose only re- sudden conversion-for consideration. l For quite awhile have separated my self from the ''madding crowds ignoble strife" in politics for the purpose of der of Goldsmith's man, as a good kind of fellow without the least bit of harm in Nm
 But\this is too good for living man. | Folks wont forget the bad have done and cant recollect the good-tili I'm gone and then comes the strain on the eulo- gist and clergyman-but, bless the Lord, they can stand 1t.