The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-10-29
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1 /. y 3
Corrected. White PEBBLES = Tha
morse was goin- Teacher--Don,t
forget your g, Willie. While Peeblas-1
See' the horse was goin4.--Puck,
Prepared.---"Bedad the nixt arAo,n.
bobolist who runs over me WIN Be sor.
~ Tor it. ofn bet yez." aWhy r.
NVe o can av nitroglycerln In livery
pocket."--Iife. IN x.
Local oracle-Know = Dook :,
BlankshireG Az, dare says I knowa
Inn better than any one In these DarTa.
Woy, my darter married one o. IL sta.
Die 'ands. Scraps. s5 RI s.r.+
ut serves her good and right" ssHow
nowp' "she became engaged on FIJI
day and married on the 18th" "WellY'
Well' now she can't get q diYorceF-
New York Evening Sun. ~.
she-so you think that men ara
smarter than women, do you? He
some men, but not all. She-Well,
what men are smarter2 He-Old bach.
elors.-Illustrated Bits.
What do you put on your face after
shaving" asked the man who snelled
or bay rum. Court plaster, usually"
replied the nervous chap, gloomily.-
cincinnati Commercial Tribune. s,.:
"Does your little girl. know how to
spellT "Oh, dear no. That's 80 ple-
oeian, and we expect her to marry a
man who Is rich enough to let her
nave an amanuensis." Chicago Post
"Have you heard about the latest In
surance companyF" mo; what Ia it?'
why, it's one that promises to pay all
mony to both parties in case the mar
riage proves failure."-Detroit Free
Press.
Miss VaDe-Some one told me to-day
that 1 was the handsomest girl In our
street. Miss Speitz-Oh, that's not in
durable! Miss Vane-What do you
mean? Miss Speitz-Your habit Of
talking to yourself!
Baxter-We had some flne music at
the concert last night Caxton-I
thought you didn't enjey high-class
music. Baxter-Oh, / didn't enjoy 1t;
that's why / know it must have been
high class.-Boston Transcript
Augustus (no longer the youthful
Well. there's one comfort; they say at
40 man Is either fool or q physi-
clan. Angelina (nearly swallowing q
Nyawn)-And are you a physician. then7
Augustus-No. Angelina-Oh!
Used 10 It.-Tommy was visiting a
neighbor'A At dinner the hostess apol-
ogized to him because the table linen
was soiled at his plate. "Oh' that's
nothing" he assured her. promptly:
''ours Is worse'R that at home."-
Brooklyn Life.
"That land said the city nephew, ''ts
valued at $500 a front foot" "rhun-
deration" exclaimed the old farmer
hastily moving back on to the side
walk. "And / stood on it most five
minutes! Do you reckon they'll charge
me rentT-Ohicago Post.
Among a number Of notes received
by teacher In excuse for the absence
was the following: "Dear Teacher:
Kindly excuse Minnie for having been
absent yesterday, as she fell In the
mud on her way to school. BY doing
the same, you will Oblige, Her Mother"
They had been engaged a long time,
and one evening were reading the
paper together. Look, look" he ex-
claimed, ''only fifteen dollars for suit
Of clOthes! SIS it a wedding suit2"
she asked, looking naIvely at her lover.
ooh, nor he replied, ut is a business
suit" "Weu. / meant business" she
replied.
A military officer went downtown
with his little daughter one morning.
Before long the little lady found herself
unable to keep up with her fathers
swinging stride, and she was obliged TO
cry halt. "Please, pa" she said, Il
would like you not to walk 30 fast
for can't keep up with you. Can't
you walk nice and slow like police
manT
"a woman can't keep a secret" de-
clares the mere man. "Oh, don't
know" retOrtS the huttery woman;
i've kept my age a secret since / was
o." Eyes; but one Of these days you
will give 1t away. In time you will
simply have to tell it." "Well, I think
that when q woman has kept a secret
for twenty years she comes pretty near
knowing how to keep it."-Judge.
During the late Boer war, just after
the fall of Bloemfontein. soldiers were
called upon, owing to the scarcity OF
civilians, to work the railway. The
weary men were lying In camp one
night, after a hard days work, when
sergeant called out: Amy Of you wish
to put your name down as railway por-
tiers, drivers, stokers. guards, or any
ether appointment connected with the
railwayT' The silence was broken only
by snores. Then one of the men slow
" raised his head. Put me down as
q sleeper!" he shouted drowsily.
A curious and amusing mixture Of
early piety and WorldlineSs came to
ynL a. n oItv rOhnoI rom ana dav