The Black Hills union and western stock review. [volume] (Rapid City, S.D.) 1904-19??, 1904-03-25

They all seem TO think they must talk.
talk, talk-do these men and ONE
young and cid. who come to me, dcclar-
ing their stupidity and contding their
yearning for a better manner in society.
And their talk must snap and sparkle.
so they think, in their blindness. Per
haps yoa think of yourself IN that same
way.
Stop one moment, then, and let me re-
mind you Of the social meeting at which
you really enjoyed yourself. There must
have been such a timc-an evening that
left you in a glow OF pleasant selfcont-
dence.
am sure that you can remember, for
such times come to all of us-even to
those of US who have least ability in eX-
pressing our thoughts. I an telling 1t TO
YOU over aga.n-because there's n moral
In 1t.
That was the evening when you found
yourself talking well.
I Your thoughts ran straight and clear.
At evesy link of thought, In a lightning
fash, you would view and gather all other
thoughts that could make that link or
conversation brighter.
Tho Silent Answer.
Do you remember what a really charm
ing wOman-or man-you were talking to
DO you remember that every time you
turned your eyes to her, her eyes looked
DaCR III you, III "lol "" "SA~
say.ngf
DO you remember the quick assent or
dissent, the surprisc, or wonder, or adj
miration. or shock that she expressed
And do you remember how she aXirGsseo
\, them?
Sometimes in questions-but seldom
Sometimes in q single quick word. Oft
ener In tiny monosyllables-the little ejac
ulations that, spoken. at the right instan
and In the right tone, can tell such vol
umes.
Oftenest Of all she told then with he
eyes, her eyebrows, her head, her hands
And all this helped you to talk. 9o'
felt her earnest attention like a kindl
stimulnnt, making your brain clearer
your thoughts more brilliantryour word
more facile. You felt. thai It was not
mere one sided convefsat.on-her silen
answers were so quick and apt that 70
never noticed that you were doing all tn
real talking.
You enjoyed thai evening. You fel
that you had acquitted yourself vel
And behind that feeling was another-yo
had been talking to someone who wa
very, very pleasant.
Yes, ,indeed-a wonderfully pleasant pei
sonality! Seldom. had you met one TO
whom you felt such a mdrbe6 social al
traction-in whom you found such homes
sympathy.
A Pleasant Memory.
Later on, perhaps, your self esteem ma
have fallen again to normal-you fount
in speaking to other people, that you wer
!, not such a clever talker after all.
But the memory OF that pleasant pei
> s~onallty remained u~ndimmed-a perso
we'll worth talking to.
And did no hint of truth float faint
!, through your thoughts? Have you live
; until now, when you read this. befor
: YOU realized why she pleased you?
She was a GOOD Llstener'-prlestess {
that rarest, finest Art in social life.
And what you thought was your HIT
social victory, in reality was hers-fo
while she may not remember the qualit
. of your talk, you cannot forget the az
9 licious quality Of her Listening.
You thought that she was pleased wit
t you. She knew that you were please
with her.
q The "PIeasure of Pleasing"
You have no need to be dejecte'
g though, for you, all unconsciously, mac
t q. pleasing mark on her memory.
r Not by your talk, but by the fact tina
through her Art, she gave you pleasur
I She, too, felt a glow Of pride at her su
cess.
y For you see she knew that you we:
pleosed with her-though twenty wore
t perhaps were all she spoke. Therein IL
e all the finesse Of her art.
and through her art she finds a highe
e keener pleasure in social life han
those who talk to her-the JOY Of plea
+ Ing as compared to the Joy of bell
pleased. That isn't as subtle a distin
ton as 1t seems. It's very plain and Gle
to those who once have felt 'the pleasu
n Of pleasing"
h Pitfall of Social Novices.
Do you think her art was hard
n learn? Far from 1t. Or hard to practic
That depends upon her power of .self'6
NAL.
" The sound of her own voice Is as Piles
he ant to her as yours is to you, rememb'
ID for she Is only human-as human as y
are.
n All, the lure of that t~emptation-t
Il sound Of ones own voice and ones O.
"a opinionsI Beware OF 1.-THE first pitt
Of In the path Of social success.
~ And well does the wise Good Listent
know it. Tho great temptation is put
IL! hin her. That is her self-denial.
Two things more remain-the work
mental attention Ut 10 real WORRY and