davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
FUN ON A STREET CAR.
And This Nonsense Was Heard in
the Sedate and Sensible City
of Philadelphia.

On a Walnut street car the other day,
says the Philadelphia Record, two women
who evidently knew each other but slight
" struck up this conversation; why,
Mrs; Brown! How dye do?" How dye
do, Mrs: Green? | wasn't sure it was you
at first" Yes, it's me, all right. How's
Mr.. Brown oh, he's all right. How's
Mr.. Green?' Hes all right, too. Hjw's
the children" They're all right, How~s
yourn?" They're all right"
There was a slight pause, as though
neither knew what to say net. Suddenly
one had an Inspiration. She giggled a
minute and then said: Say, my husband
asked me the other day what your first
name was, and to save my soul | couldn't
tell him. What is it,"
Then it was the other woman's turn to
giggle. Why it's Millicent," she said.
"MllIicent? How do you spell it," "Oh,
it's an easy name M-i-ll-i-c-e-n-t. well.
you can't never say you amt got a cent
to your name, can youE"
A scream Of laughter followed this wit
ticism, and they began to slap each on the
wrist
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

| the flames. concentrating. OF course,
the rise OF the city from the ashes ol
II. A more truthful representation
would show the city rising from a
swamp with the feet still buried in the
mire.
George NJ Pullman laid the founda-
ton of his fortune by prytng the bust
ness section Of the city out OF the
swamp which threatened to consume il
In the first half OF the last century.
Now the enter of the city, with its
long streets of towering s~kyscrapers,
is but II feet above the level of the
lake. while the suburban towns TO the
south and west need a second Pullman
TO lift them from the swamps.
In the Lake Calumet district to the
south. in Burnside, Pullman. Kensing-
ton. Bryn Mawr, densely populated
sections, and in the Desplaines river
valley on the west. the spring floods
are as greatly feared as are those Of
the southern Mississippi. Transporta-
tion is spelled navigation by float
ing sidewalks in these sections at this
time, The first floor oons are given
over to the denizens of the deep and
are classed as the family aquariums.
Aquatic sports are the popular forms
of amusement, and babies are taught
10 swim before they can walk.
The record up to date this year is
four deaths by drowning, and Il prop
erty loss Of some half million dollars,
to say nothing of the movable side
walks that are travelling southwark to
become a feature of the drinking waser
quate sewerage system is a problem
the city has yet 10 solve for these sub
urbs.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

oHe ovhu'IoA Oh DlgneSS,' h a V G
'Bigness' been annexed to
the city. The pedestrian falls through
the holes, runs a rotten nail into his
toe, and sues the city for SIC, 900 for
personal injury.
Ten years ago there were 46 claims
OF this character pending against the
city, On January /, 1904, the As claims
had grown to 2,S76, in which the total
damages asked was $38, 66G, 952. OF
these cases 80 per cent. are due to de-
lectiYe sidewalks, and more than so
per cent. are due TO defective sidewalks
in the suburbs. There Is such a thing
AS growing too fast for your pocket
book, and Chicago is rapidly finding
this out.
Judgments in these personal injury
cases are piling up against the city so
rapidly as to threaten bankruptcy un-
less some means is found of stoppine
the growth. At the present time the
city owes its manned and deformed in
habitants, who have, according to the
evidence produced in court. become
physical wrecks by reason of munictpal
negligence, the neat little sum of $4,-
979,70O. On this five per cent. interest,
a total of $250,000 annually is paid.
There is not a dollar available to nav
the principal, which is growing at the
rate of about half a million dollars a
year.
instead Of continually multiplying in
territory it would seem that Chicago
might profit by a few problems in sub
stract'on. The city is learning in the
school of experience that there is more
IN this world than the one item of
square miles.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

N""Stt Gthi ~ Tue
penitentiary. The bookmaker who, in
these righteous days, carries his Office
in his hat and buttonholes you on the
street to take your money on a looqing
race, commits a misdemeanor, and
when caught, which is seldom, is fined
$40 and costs. The doctor who makes
a specially of searching for personal
injury cases, who finds in a bruise
on the shin bone a severe and perma-
nent injury, who t~estities to this eff
feet in court and receives for his
trouble a large slice of the Judgment
secured against the city, passes in the
best classes of society as a successful
physician, The lawyer who follows the
doctor, takes the case of the injured
one into court, pleads effectively with
a jury, and divides the judgment with
the doctor. Is on the highway to polit-
ical p%referment.
The latter two bunko the mupicinaI-
ity quite as much as the others bunko
the individual. 1t Is to this class that
the city attorney attaches much OF
the cause fer the rapid increase in the
number of personal injury eases.
There are known combinations of doc
tors and lawyers in the city who do
nothing else but follow this nefarious
business Of bleeding the city. When
Chicago can rid itself of this class OF
ounko men it will save 50 per e n Of
Its personal injury judgments.
WRIGHT A. PATTERSON.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

with the force he
WAS called upon tn investigate were not
fully aware of all the deficiency ana
ineficiency that existed. and possibly
some that didn't EXIST Did he sup
pose for an instant that he could startle
the dear public by telling them their pc
licemen were In the habit Of frequent
Ing bar rooms for the purpose of oh
tanning liquor refreshment during their
hours Of duty? What is a policeman
for. ii it is not to consume the surplus
Of beer?
No, the worthy captain told the peo-
pie Of the city nothing new in his re-
port. As for deficiency, the tax
dodgers have been eyading taxes for
years on the plea that the city did not
NJ d the money, as one policeman for
very three saloons was enough. that
the city could not be expected to pro-
vide a greater percentage Of customers
than that in exchange for the license
fee charged the saloon keepers.
When it comes to ineficiehcy, so far
as sloyenliness is concerned. what can
reasonably be expected in this town
where the millionaire private citizen
who travels about in a glass case is the
only person who can appear at functions
de luxe with unsoiled linen? Capt. Piper
evidently expects the impossible of the
Chicago policeman,
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

used by the aGrl- Logging LOT Il hula~
cultural depart ING site
ment. 1t was provided that it should
be situated in the Mall near the pres,
ent department and the selection of
fthe site has been left with the secre-
tary of agriculture, who has caused a
sensation by picking out a place which
will cut off a large portion of the vista
between the Washington monument
and the capitol that has been one Of
the greatest beauties of Washington
for a hundred years, If congress could
get at the thing it would pass a law,
with little or no opposition, which
would prevent the location of the new
building in the place selected by the
secretary and would compel it to be
moved back q hundred feet or so, thus
saving an architectural blunder which
could never be remedied. But Speaker
Cannon refuses to let any bill of this
kind come up in the house and Repre-
sentative Powers. who has introduced
the bill. finds himself helpless, So do
the senators who are deeply interested
in the matter,
Uncle joe has an aversion for ar
chitects and all their works. He is es-
pecially out-of-sorts with the scheme
of the so-called park commission,
which would fix permanently the archi-
tectural development of the city along
the lines Of L'enfant, the French genius
who first laid out the map of the cap
ital. He is filled with indignation
whenever he thinks of the work of
Architect McKim, which has made the
white house a thing Of beauty, and he
is determined that sc .ong as he has
anything to say about 1t the architects
shall not be given any further leeway
in the development of the city.
Uncle joe is in a decided minority
numerically, in this position, but 1t
happens to be about the only one in
which the great majority of congress
does not gladly follow his lead. so that
he Is likely TO have his own way about
1t so long as he remains at the head
OF the house.
In the meantime Secretary Wilson
will doubtless go ahead with his plan
and will erect on the Mall a magnif-
cent public building. which will de-
stroy for all time n of the most ex-
traordinary attractions of the capital
from an artistic point Of view.
LOUIS A. COOLIDGE.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07


IL IL talents ar" heaven .aea' said
III Briefs. 10 q voice which be'oh-
eutd something near akin To- ave but
certainly the man himself .s "a beast
And TINS qualifying clause no life opinion
OF Randolph. formed hat Of ne Whole
OF Bohemia 10 DO laid that Pan. E'r-
lain" wrote the Er,att.' 3i Ibis religious
poems poems Thai breathe al atmos
phere Of tenderness and purity When 10
STOW Pr"er M recovery from 'tr effects
oi q prolonged rDlTaa ut trn.. #.ar" 10
AhS'hlH" ana similar brain ala moral
destroying eFlht1
n Vas tA'"ibtr way araul. w.,. l1r.
doipb For weeks and month. he would
labor on somr picture. 8t"H}. uu #'u.
religious or ftmt. f".,rI1us subject
conceived IN Is sptJ' af almost suprc-
human tenderness ara lasa.oanH.s. and
upon iHe completion NJ The picture Au
Eoole 'b'rr upon a period ~ Wild Dr.
hahehery that T"T.d bring tarrur tY
even those hardest o.f rnn.. VITO know
him alt mri htm .o Frequently 10 that
pieaSAh' land ~ Hnbh'ah.o boundaries
hoheWla
those "i nus h'~DHajn'a1.'H VIII" met
In 1he 1iL" cafes around aFhiN&loH
square spoke often pt The picture upon
"hieh be was al work Some u them
had hfard Randolph fl7r'its lib" idea for
the picture when haa IT'S conception IN
a E4EsIF which .r#t BE-. EHFgr -yIbEfa 44.4E.7 Z
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

Gently published.
The truth of the matter is Sir Ed
ward didn't see Chicago. He admits
that much himself, for he distinctly
says he did not go to the ~stockyards,
and Chicago without the stockyards is
not Chicago at all.
Though Sir Edward says the town
has no reason to exist, there was one
thing which he heartily approved of,
and that was its breezy hospitality.
This Is but another reason for beliey-
ing that the eminent Englishman
would nave reported favorably upon
the police force had he been asked to
undertake the job of inspection, for
the Chicago policemen are noted for
their hospitality-they will drink with
any person who can produce the price,
and at any hour of the day or night,
But, seriously speaking, this record
breaking globe ~trotter, who does a
stunt at character sketching cities
from the windows of a limited OK.
press, is unjust to Chicago when he
J""5V9 ~ bN we ulTi, the NTH, the
smoke. the SCOT and fog that is appar-
ent on the surface on a February dav
Ihat was Just before the house-clean-
ing time, for the city usually gets a
BATH once a year, provided the graft
investigating committee has been hold
ing active sessions for the u months
previous. Chicago with its face washed
is a different city from that seen by
Sir Edward. There is a foundation be-
meath the mire of filth. and the street
cleaners usually touch the high places
In the cobblestones once each year--in
the springtime.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

1A JUN +-afts"n~
ils great Importance arst nGGer Speak,
er Reed with the adoption cf the rev
rules Of the house, under which all the
most important legislation was enacted
under special orders adopted by The
. committee. Of course with the speakers
approval. Under Reed the rules com
mtt,eR vas kept busy all the time In
}he F.Gy-Grst congress Cannon and
Mckinley were the majority members
If o..
When Reed came back TO the speak
ersH.p he had with him Henderson and
paI2a.. Under Henderson The other
republicans on the committee were
DaJzetI and G~rosyeEor and they are
now Cannou's associates, but 1t is mo-
tIeoable that these two members who.
with Henderson. were regarded as the
whole thing are not seen In the speak
er's Don now nearly as often as some
Of the younger members Of the house
who. under the old regime. were not
highly regarded by the powers in con-
troll.
Speaker Cannon is getting to lean
O and more upon Hemenway Of In
diana and Tawney Of Minnesota, one Of
whom, now chairman Of the appr0pria-
ton committee, was in the last con-
gress Of Importance only as Cannon's
lieutenant, and the other Of whom was
regarded as a Kicker" altogether out
Of favor with the men in control, For
that matter. Cannon himself was out
side the breastworks and nothing but
his powerful individuality and his po-
sition as chairman OF the ]appropria-
tons committee, which could not I've
well taken away from him. gave him u
position Of standing and influence In
the house.
AS FOR the committee on rules 1t has
had very little to do during the present
session. 1t has hardly been necessary
to bring in q special order for the pur-
pose of putting through any measure
Of Importance, and without special or
ders the committee on rules becomes
a somewhat superfuOus body, They
are not likely to have much to do be-
fore adjournment and there is no indi-
cation now Of greater activity for them
next winter.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

NN pas lSphiF u weakened
physical condition when this condition
is caused by sick kidneys:
Mrs. Sadie Mettles of 1914 w. 4tb Ave.
Columbus, Ohio, says: "Prior to the
year 1898 suffered considerably from
baekache, pain in the head, ianguor
and depression and weakness of the
action Of the kidneys. The pain was
always worse in the morning and | felt
miserable. was induced to procure a
box of Doan's Kidney Pills and I began
their use. They proved prompt and
effective. They cured me and there
has been no return of the trouble s;nce
taking. them. / owe all the credit 10
Doan's Kidney Pills"
AFREE TRIAL Of this great kidney
medicine which cured Mrs. Mettles viii
be mailed on application to any part az
the United States. Address Foster
Mhburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. For sale
by oil druggists, price 80 cents per boz.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
Occasion for a Story.

A man had a story about a gun which
he delivered himself of upon all occasions.
At a dinner party one evening he writhed
in his chair for over an hour waiting for
a chance to introduce his story, but no
opportunity presented itself. Finally he
slipped a coin into the hand of a waiter
and whispered: when you leave the
room again, slam the door,
The waiter slammed the door as direct
ed, and the man sprang to his feet, with
gum
I,oh; no" returned his host, at was
IAN, | see. Well, speaking Of guns re-
minds me of a little story."-Tit-Bits.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
Teosinte and billion Dollar Grasn.

The two greatest fodder plants on earth,
one good for IA tons hay and the other
80 tons green fodder per acre. Grows
everywhere, SO does Victoria Rape, yield
ing 10000 lbs. sheep and swine food per
acre. Tx. L.
JUST SEND 10c IN STAMPS To THE
John A., Salzer Seed CO., La Crosse,
Wis, and receive in return their big
catalog and lots Of farm seed samples.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
A Cunning Little schemer.

Miss Richgirl (donbtfullyl--I am
afraid pa will never consent unless you
place him under obligations to you.
Mr.. Slimpurse-H'mi L~et-me--see.
I might pretend to save you from drown
ing or something.
THAT wouldn't be Of any use. He
would simply hand you a reward and
forget all about it."
But there must be some way TO win
his favor"
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

MAMA VI
republican MAORI
Is In the house
Tie committee on
rules has fallen
into i~uuoCuous deS
uetude 10 striking
contrast 10 its an
tocEatle perform
ances under the
administrations ot
Speakers Reed
Crisp aaa HeadeT
son
The committee
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

the spring floods
that come with
as much 6
larity a S t h e
spring poet to the
newspaper n
tum. A lack of
financial resources
prevents the re-
moval of winters
SHOWS. and they
must lie in great
drifts to await the
s~oftening touch of
the gentle zephyrs
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

Macon, Ga, worries us with the story
Of a queer pig just born at Waycross,
which combines the qualities Of the ele-
plant and the %rhinoceros, Macon viii
please keep quiet for a while, orders the
New York Telegram. as we are lust now
busy trying to pick out a presidential
candidate.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

Jones, the English
artist, TO inyesti-
gate the police de-
partment he would
have found much
to mitigate the Of
lenses of the po-
licemen. In fact,
Sir Edward be-
lieyes having to
reside in Chicago
sufficient punish
ment Tor any
crime in the cal
endar. and has
said so in a book
of American tray
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

after which the trial vii proceed as In
other trials wlth arguments BY eoun.
sci and testimony Of witnesses Al the
conclusion Of the tr.a, each senator
all answer guilty or Tot ga.!ly as the
case may be.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

for personal in
jury that are be-
ing filed in ever
Increasing num-
bers against the
city, The spring
flood a to
pieces the i'm.
%promptn" side
walks laid across
the ~prairies of the
suburban towns
that, in the desire
for still greater
h a o
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

secretary OF agrl-
culture in the not
very long list, but
there are a great
many people in
Washington who
think that as an
architect and land
scape gardener he
is a dismal failure.
The last con-
gress made an APP
pro priation of
about three mil
lion dollars for a
new building to be
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

classes, h 0 Il E h
they are recruited
fro m different
schools and have
different standings
in society in the
eyes Of the law.
Theman whoshnws
the o p h | S
ticated the explo-
sion on the lake
front and extracts
from his pocket
his wallet is called
a thief and when
FDuuht cont fo Tho
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
Brute.

Woman Is naturally OF a clingine
nature" observed he.
YES. rejoined his wife, 'nut she
isn't to be compared with a man when II
comes to holding on to q IS bill. New
Yorker.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

from the south A Drainage Problem
land thai sands TO Solve.
them flowing into the streets and
easements, A Chicago artist won
fame by typifying the city as a woman
of magnificent proportions rising from
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
It Cures While You Walk

Aliens toot-Ease is a certain cure fo&
LOT, sweatlng, eaIIus, and swollen, aching
feet Sold by all Druggists. Price 25e. Don't
acCeptany substitute. Trial package FREE,
Address Allen S. Olmsted, lie Roy, n. Y.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

Plso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken of
as a eoug1 cure.-J. ". OBrien, 322 Third
Ave- N, Minneapolis, MINI, Jan. G., 1900.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

y VI II T., al
though several
members Of that
body are familiar
with the procedure
against Secretary
Belknap through
the fact that they
were in one or the
other branches of
congress at the
time. Teller of
Colorado, Allison
Of Iowa, Cockrell
OF Missouri. and
oil pf nrswpr
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

There are only two kinds of children
your own perfect little cherubs and the
hl-hehaVed brats owned by other people.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

D man dat thinks he knows it ALL"
sad Uncle Eben, is KEEP busy wonderin'
hqW so many foolish people kin prosper"
Washington Star.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

"Oh, | have II! You wait until pa gets
into a tight place. and then you rush In
and save him from bankruptcy IN. Y.
Weekly.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
WOMEN BREAK DOWN.


"o"ieh hFIII INTO a con-
dition of half invalid"
Continual languor-all
tired out, run down,
backache, nerves shat
tered, headache, terrible
pain, no appetite, poor
digestion. In nine cases
out of TENTS because the
kidneys fail to do their
work of fltering the
poisonous system waste
from the blood. The
kidneys are weak and
need the strengthening
help of Doan's Kidney
Pills. Read how these
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

ohoidden guests are always welcomest
~hen they are gone.-Shakespeare.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
Weak, Inactive Kidneys.

One Of the causes OF Rheumatism is due to kidneys
and bladder. Pans in the Ioins and a feeling of a dun
heavy weight In lower parts of the Bowels, urinous
taste In mouth or disagreeabie odOr of the urine are
ONE OF the leading symptoms. For this trouble
there S no better medicine than B. b. B. II stimu-
iates all le nerves OF the Kidneys into action, opens
up every channel, resulting in healthy natural flow
Of urine. the passing off Of the uric acid and all
other diseased matter and a isstingc cure made. (. B.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
Professional Bunco Men.

The confidence men of the city can
not we'll be divided into different
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

In trying Judge Swayne the senate
Will have to go back 4 long way for a
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
Tie Spring Floods.

An u~nfailing aid to the operation of
municipal house-cleaning in Chicago is
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

lie who thinks to deceive everybody de-
eelVes nobody but himself.-Kam's Horn.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

Under Speaker Cannon there is 3
marked change in the personnel OF the
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

OUR GUARAHTEE.-Tak a large bottle al
Botanic Blood Balm(B. B B. as directed on la bel
and when the right quantltyis taken a cure is
~csrtain sure and lasting. Ifnot cured your money
will promptly be refunded without argument.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07
WASHINGTON GOSSIP
IN AND OUT OF CONGRESS AT
TIE NATIONAL CAPITOL
IMPEACHMENT PROCEDURE
Presidents That Have Established
Rules for Proceedings-No Work
for Rules Committee Of
the House.

Washington For the first time Ia
Is yeats a case Of Impeachment Is TO
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

june Tint Butter Color makes top of the
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

HOtanle blood Balm BIB b. Is
Pleasant and safe to take. Thoroughly tested for 90
years. Composed of Pure Botanic Ingredients.
Strengthens Weak kidneys and Stomachs, cures
Dyspepsia. Sold by all Druggists, ST. Per Large
Bottle, with complete direction forhome cure. Sample
Sent Free BY writing Blood Balm Co, Atlanta, Ga.
Describe your trouble, and speciaIfree medicaiadvice,
to suit your case, viii be sent in sealed letter.
The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1904-05-07

1t is quite probable that had the City
2luh called upon Sir Edward Burne-