Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-01-20

How he Is known: Wife-Before
marriage man is known by the COM
pany he keeps. Husband-And after?
Wife-By the clothes his wife wears.
Town Topics.
Goodman-Do you ever think of tho
good old saying that it's more blessed
to give than to receive? Pugsley-
Yes, when I've got the boxing gloves
on do.-Nogue.
Coming around: Mrs. Caffrey-
And how is that pretty young widow?
Is she reconciled to her loss yet? Mrs.
Malaprop-No, she amt exactly rec
onciled yet, but they do say she's got
the man picked OUTFIT Bits.
An alternative: Mahoole-Nixt
tonne OF pass wild a loidy, Mulligan.
we've got to remove your hat! Null
ligan-And suppose OF refuse? Ma
hoole-Then, bedad. we've got to re-
move your coat.-Chicago News.
Juvenile reasoning: Sammy-Going
to move soon, Tommy? Tommy-Yes.
Sammy-How do you know? Tom
my-Ah! How do know! Didn't
me mother lemme break winder
tother day and didn't say nothin'?-
Tit-Bits.
Kitty Ito Bertha in her new frockl
Why, darling, how becoming your
gown is! Absolutely any one would
think it quite new! Bertha-So kind
of you to say so! And yours, dear,
looks every bit as well as it did years
ago.-Boston Transcript.
The doctors orders: Dedelia-Phat
are yez dom takin the lock off the
cupboard dure, Pat? Are yez crazy?
Pat-No, darlint; TIL dochtor tould me
to-day that l must quit boltln' mo
food-and I'm goln' to obey insthrus.
tions!-Cincinnat Times-Star
Mother-Why don't you behave bet.
ter to your teacher? Tommy-Why,
I'm as kind to her as kin be. Moth
er-4ou are? Tommy-Yes'm. Ev-
cry time she licks me cry as loud as
l kin SOS to make her believe she's
hurtin' me.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Hardupp-I tried to sell those dia.
monds l bought Of you, and was told
they We're not genuine. Jeweler2..'
Did you sell them? Hardupp-Yes, for
almost nothing. Jeweler-Well you so
back and try to buy them, and you
will find out that they are genuine.
Exchange.
Rosalie-Have you chosen any Of
your bridesmaids yet? May-Yes--
Fanny Lyon. Rosnlie--Why, I
thought you hated her? AIay-No,
not exactly; but the bridesmaids are
to wear yellow, and you can imagine
how that will go with Fanny's COM
plexion.-Bazar.
First impressions: "The first time
saw you thought how lucky I
should be if could induce that de.
licious little angel to be my wife,
And what did you thinl?" 81 thought,
oh! dear me! wonder If I shall
ever have to marry such homely
looking man as that! PUCK.
He had promised: The fair bride
wept copiously. "Boo-hoo!" she
screamed; you are mean old thing;
so there! You didn't eat one Of my
Biscuits" But, darling" There
is no excuse, sir! Didn't you tell me
when you married me-boo- hoo!-that
you would die for meY-Baltimor
News.
'man-pon.f yoas 4nliEf iiRgtins crue,
sport? Flshcrman-l should just
think it was. I've been sitting here
five hours and never had n single bite,
and I've got three wasp stings. and
been eaten up with files, and the suns
taken all the skin off the back of my
neck!-Pick-Me-Up.
Her conclusion: "Do you think
your father has any idea that 1 have
serious intentions concerning youw
II heard him telling mother, the other
day, that he didn't think 1t would cost
any more to have you ut the table
regularly than it does for me to feed
you from the pantry shelves every
night" Chicago Record-Herald.
| Walter Scott liked to tell the story
of his meeting an Irish beggar in the
street who importuned him for six
pence. Not having one, Scott gave
him shilling. adding with laugh,
Now remember, you owe me six
pence.' "Och, sure enough" said the
beggar, land God grant you may live
| till pay you!'-Youth's companion,
Customer-Waiter, beefsteak!i
Quick! I'm in Il hurry! Waiter-Weli
haven't any beefsteak, sir! Customer
A chop, then. Waiter-ChopsQ OH!
Customer-Well, then, 4. mi tnelet.
Waitcr--Impossible, sire.ssse fEsus. -:
tomer--What! Why, haveS- youspotM
ing at all in your restaurant? Water.
Yes, sir; we've got a balliff- =.
Customer sharpening his knife on the.
edge of the plate)-Then let's have
one.-London Tit-Bits.
A preacher at the conclusion of one
of his sermons said: "Let all in tho
house who are paying their debts
stand up" Instantly every man, wo-
man and child with one exception,
arose to their feet. The preacher
seated them and said: "Now every
man not paying his debts stand up"
The exception noted,a carew0'n, hun.
CRY looking individual, clothed In his
last summers suit, slowly assumed
a perpendicular position. How is 1t
my FRIEND" asked the minister that
you are the only man not to meet his
obligations?" 81 run newspaper"
he meekly answered, "and the breth.
rem here who just stood up are my
subscribers, and" Let us pray"
exclaimed the mlnister.-Joplln News.
Herald.
Hard to Bear
Mrs. De Style fond Of novels)-Did
you do as 1 directed, and tell every.
body who called that was engaged.
Domestic-No one called, mum.