The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-05-05

80, they are always called sales"
docs anybody ever buy at these in
surrections ?"
Eyes indeed" said she "Just last
Monday bought the loveliest hat, the
one l wore yesterday, for $4.9S, and
it's worth every bit of SIS too"
"Do you want any of these ribbons?"
l asked.
"Why, no." she replied; "what gave
you that foolish idea?"
"Why, I saw you so frantic when
that big woman banged your head
against the post and snatched the bolt
of ribbon from you, that I imagined
you wanted to take the ribbon home"
90, that's nothing" said Mrs. H.;
"anything's fair at bargain sale, ex-
cept running away with an article. In
order to be we'll thought of one must
stay right by the counter"
"And fight" saidI.
But Mrs. H. had plunged into the
seething vortex once more. We be-
came separated. L endeavored to re-
join her. She was calling me to hurry.
l touched lady on the shoulder and
said: MADAM, will you allow me to
pass so l can regain my wife's side?"
swell guess not" said she; "where
do you think you are, in some ball
room?"
"No," replied, 81 thought was in
the society of we'll bred ladies, but now
1 firmly believe it's woman's rights
convention on the rampage.
The lady didn't hear all this, as her
attention was fixed on yard of rib
bon in another Amazon's hand. With
a wrench she became possessor of it
for brief moment. decided I'd get
to my wife before she was massacred
and only by administering strangle
holds and half Nelsons where absolute
ly necessary eventually got to goal
One of the feathers on my wife's hat
was broken and hung dismally over
her left eye. Her veil was torn and a
truant strand of back hair swayed in
keeping with the feather. But she
was of an eminently respectable ap-
pearance compared to her nearest
neighbor, whose lip was bleeding and
whose eyes were rapidly becoming dis
colored. But this lady smiled in vic
tory and confded to my wife the fact
that she held as trophies two punches
of heliotropes, worth 35 cents, marked
down to 1873 cents.
How long the battle of the Yalu
lasted, [ don't know, for we were
showed and pushed clear down into the
basement. The salesladies down there
were suffering from ennui. Not even
a visitor since early morning. The
basement was orderly, quiet and clean.
The goods were piled neatly on the
counters. The cash boys were playing
marbles and the cashier Was fast
. asleep. The hoorwalker was reading a
book which saleslady had loaned
him. Il caught the title as I passed
1t was "Lady Claire's Secret" by Ber-
tha M. MUDDY
"Mrs. H." said I, "why don't the Ia
{ dies come down here to scrap where
there is more room?"
"O," said she, "they never have bar.
8 gain sales of household goods and
s hardware.
r "Lucky for the ladies'" said l, as
t pointed to a bunch of hatchets and
: saws.
My gesture brought three salesladies
who implored us to at least buy a rat
trap and thus help them to hold down
+ their jobs. Even the cashier woke uI
and made bluff of counting money
4 And upstairs the hurrying feet warned
;. us that the sale was still on.
l dared not risk going upstairs tc
), gain the street, so after Mrs. H. haC
g priced everything down stairs and or
= ;, dered lamp wick sent home, I bribet
= the floor walker to let us out through
the rear entrance. Safe in the street,
:. fervently thanked my stars that l did
= :. MT have to attend bargain sales ever!
: day.
s "But," said Mrs. H., "you must ad
e nit that they're great sport" Sh'
d bound up bleeding finger.
eyes indeed," said I, and, removing
+ handful of some lady's hair from m!
shoulder, we returned to our home t,
II sleep off the horrible scenes.
!" HARLEY.