davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-03-15

GARDENER -By German. middle aged.
r-ar-feI. no children. care % private
rIlre Er-ernrusas. lawns and roads. etc
n objection 20 living or rhs place. sober
and reliable: COOL references BERNARD
HDFP Chatham square
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-03-15

GARuENER-Firs class N ev-ry respects
competent 70 handle any sized gentle
mans country estate. excellent references.
Address GARDENER, l5I East l25th-st-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-03-15

GARDENER. florist. and vegetable gar
dener. cCachman, German. 43. married.
one girl. Il. thoroughly understands the
care OF Eenueu ans place. greenhouses
lawn. garden. milking. poultry wife useful
Il required. wages $40 and cottage. sod
references. JOHN HAYDEN. $50 West
5Oth-st
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-03-15

GARDENER and general useful man on
private place experienced I'm the culture
q flowers and vegetables. care 20 lawns.
roads. etc; can uilz. wishes permanent en-
rfovrnsnt. reliable. sober and industrious
moderate wages. middle aged German, SIN
zIa- GARDENER Box Q. Tribune O-tce-
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
She Knew Them,

Girls are certainly past all under.
derstanding,' said the big athletic
fellow to his pretty companion. Here
you make all sorts of a fuss over to.
bacco, while other girls of my &C.
quaintance request me to blow smoke
into their hair. Yes, they do; but
goodness knows what for. They say
they like to have the odor of tobacco
clinging in their tresses. l must say
| can't agree with them. A good fresh
cigar is one thing, but the odor OF
stale tobacco smoke is another Some
times I've thought that maybe the to
bacco did something to the hair, gave
it life. put CLINT of gold into it
made it more luxuriant. or something
Otherwise why should they insist that
puff A lot of smoke on them?"
The pretty girl smiled knowingly
Did you ever think she asked, that
the odor of stale tobacco about wom
an might lead her friends to believe
that she had many masculine callers?"
The athletic fellow looked at hel
admiringly. ut takes woman to un
derstand a woman" he said
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
What He Wanted.

He entered the lawyers Office after
the manner of the meek and mild. His
eyes were cast to the floor, his miep
was bashful.
Are you the Iawyer?" he asked OF
call him Smith.
81 am' said Smith.
Il want advice" said the wanderer
Il am in love with a certain young
woman. | love her very much, and
mean to marry her. She is engaged to
me. But am afraid she thinks more
of another man. went to call on her
the other evening" and disturbed her
as this other man was kissing her"
That's rather an interesting state
of things" suggested Smith. But
what can I do for you? I cannot ad.
wise you in any respect regarding this
man. Judging by what you tell me,
your marriage with this young woman
is something that will not happen"
Couldn't couldn't you-isnt il
possible for me to have an injunction
served against this MANI"
Smith tried to figure it out.-New
York Times.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26

not the first decent thing to wear to
such a place"
Tut, TUT" said Batterslegh.
There speaks the coxcombry of
youth. You're able to pull out your
blue uniform, know, an bgad! the
uniform of an officer is full dress the
world Overt"
Franklin grinned amiably. Thank
you for the suggestion about the uni
form, at least" he said. Now, if we
can fix you up as we'll"
Battersleigh came and stood before
him, waving long forefnger.
Listen to me, Ned" he began, "an'
I'll lay down to ye few of the fun
damental rules of conduct and ap-
par'.
"A gintleman never lies; a gintle-
man never uses unseemly haste; a
gintleman is always ready for love
and ready for WARRIOR, Ned, my boy
without love and war we'd miss the
only two joys of life. Thereto, a gin
tleman must shoot, fence, ride, dance,
and do amy of 'em like a gntleman.
But if ye found yeself bit low in kit,
as Batty is this day, what would We
say, Ned, me boy. was the first salient
what is the first essential in the
dress OF gintleman. me boy?"
Linen" said Franklin, ''or is it
gloves?"
Ned" said Battersleigh, solemnly,
| laying hand upon his shoulder.
white. white. me boy. is the first
color of gintleman. White, to show
| the integrity of his honor and the
claneness of his merit roll. A touch
or white at neck and wrist amy gin.
tleman must show who presints him,
self at ball.
But, now, how"
Grasping his companion by the
arm, Battersleigh stepped outside the
house, and strobe off with long steps
across the prairie. Come" he said
Franklin followed for quarter of a
mile. Then, bending his gaze in the
direction of the march, he saw afar
tiuttering like signal of distress in
the engulting sea about little whip
ping flag of white, which was upheld
by the gaunt hand of a ragged sage
bush. This, as he drew near, he dis
covered to be portion of an old floul
sack. washed clean and left bleaching
, in the sun and wind
Battersleigh made dramatic ap
proach. THERE" said he, pointing
with triumphant dignity to the fl ter
ins rag.
Yes. l see,' said Franklin. "bu,
what do you want Of this piece OF
sack?"
Sack" cried Battersleigh, offend
ed. Sack! say you, but l say
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
Wall OF THE PEsSlMIsT.
Change Of Belief Result Of Visit to tho
Dentist.

BAH" snorted my friend the Optim-
st, what's love but the imbecle de-
sire of some lunatic to spenu 81 on a
girl ,or every dollar he spends on
himself? Don't talk to me of such
ioiocy!
And, friendship, too" he growled.
What's it but man scheming to
have some place where he can borrow
money without paying interest on the
| Ian? This talk about friendship
| gives me severe shock.
And truth and itegrity," he went on.
growing more excited. There's loads
ard loads of truth and integrity scat
tered around. amt there? Read the
papers, look at our courts, observe the
legislatures, glance at congress, do
business with any man, and figure up
how much truth and integrity you've
bunted into.
And honor" continued the Opti-
mist, sneering until his nose looked
Honor? What is it? Where'll you
find it? Have you ever seen a speci-
men of it in man. woman or child? Go
talk metaphysics to an ass, but don t
talk about honor to me-"
had always found the Optimist' 8
cheerful outlook upon things in gen.
eral so hopeful and rosy that | was
aghast at these morbid sentiments.
SO looked imploringly at his wife for
! some explanation.
"Oh, you mustn't mind John to-
night" she responded. The dentist
put a wedge between two of his teeth
to-day y"-Philadelphia Ledger
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
RetroSpect,

Brother whatc'er the world hath taught
Howeer diverse our feet may roam
our love can center in one thought
Which leads us 10 our youthful home
An humble roof with honest hearts
Contentment graced with willing hands.
More beauty to a home imparts
Than heritage of house or lands.
What though no art our windows stain,
III" lilacs peep"d in through the pane
Inc grass grew green about the door.
No paintings graced our narrow hail
With mimic mountain. wood, or rill-
The greatest Master of them all
Had hung his work on ev'ry hill.
From boughs. whore robins build and sing,
l.ik" snow the apple blossoms fell:
The wild grape twined above the spring.
The poplars shook above the well.
The sparrow built his modest nest,
And sang no song prescribed by RUE;
The swallow smoothercd his slaty crest.
Or clipped 1t in the crystal pool.
The little plot our memres till,
Bright poppy-bloom and saffron Yields;
The wild rose gems the cragsy hill
And yarrow clothes the scanty hclds.
Some sunny CLEANS our hearts recall
That vandal time cannot decay.
Some shadows DER our mem ries fall
That sunlight ne'er can chase away.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
OLD, BUT EVER NEW.
VENERABLE JOKE TALKS OF
REINCARNATION.
Nothing New in the Theory as Far
as This Laushterlnducer Was Con-
cerned-On Earth in Many Dis
guises and at Many Times.

"Metempsychosis?" said the Old
Joke. as he deftly placed another pill
in his pipe. Why, of course! Old
story to me, assure you. Transmit
grafton of souls an everyday occur
renee. And as for reincarnation-why
bless you. my boy, have been com
ing back to earth for many centuries,
and in as many different forms as
those of the animals that Noah-not
old Noah, from my point of view, be-
lieve me,-had in his ark
Il tell you, my boy, these Theoso-
phsts have got the right idea about
it, We die but to live again. We
make our little brief appearance on
the stage of life and then we vanish,
only to return in some new guise-our
astral body the same, our terrestrial
form the only thing changed about us.
And sometimes that is not changed as
much as might be wished. have
worn many guises in my day. Heigh,
ho' 1t wearies me 10 begin to think
of them all. There was the time
when Adam cracked his sides with
his better half, and Eve-well Eve
was woman of exceeding politeness
tas evidence her courtesy to the Ser
pent, and she did her very best to
smile at me, although | am fully con-
v.nced she did not see my point at all
The next time | remember to have
come to earth was in the Land of
Nod. That was about nine thousand
years ago, as nearly as | can recOllect.
1t caused great sensation among the
simple NodditeS when | was suddenly
sprung upon them as New Thing. II
recollect Alright, was printed then
in the newspapers of the time, and the
reporters were kind enough to write
Laughter in brackets after me, SO as
to make sure that the inhabitants
would appreciate me at my cachin-
natory worth.
Life is too short for me to attempt
to rehearse my various reincarnations
since then. I have appeared in comic
opera and tragedy: have graced the
minstrel stage. and appeared suddenly
in the pulpit as a Racy Bon Mot. I
have travelled all over the civilized
world as Newspaper Joke. l have
been illustrated and set to music:
have helped to make the fortunes OF
several comedians and the regulations
of numerous after dinner speakers.
And last night-will you believe it,
one of the best known and most origi.
nal
"Hello!" said the Old Joke, sadly,
"My pipe has gone out and l have not
another pill in the box. shall die
if l cannot get smoke-I know |
shall. But never mind! shall soon
come back again in some new form,
and the suffering public will accept
me as the latest and newest thing in
es!"-New York Herald.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26

z HorGM ATTH0R o TIE STORY TIE CONVOY
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26

The others watched him eagerly as
he removed the hot tin from the oven
and set it upon the bare table. Curly
drew his clasp knife from his pocket
and cut into the portion assigned to
him. Franklin was reserved, but Cur
ly attained enthusiasm at the second
bite.
"Rile Irish" said he, 'l'm not so
sure you're such HI of military
man, but as cook you're burnln
success. You kin sign with our outfit
to-morrer if you want to-
The pie, startling as it was in some
regards, did not long survive the de-
termined assault made upon it. Curly
wiped his knife on the leg OF his
CHAPS" and his mouth on the back
Of his hands.
But say, fellers," he said, 81 plumb
forgot what ! come over here for.
Theyse goin' to be a dance over to
town, an l come to tell you about it.
O. course you'll come"
What sort of a dance can 1t be,
man." said Battersleigh.
why, a plumb dandy dance; reg
lar high steppin' outfit; mucha baille;
best thing ever was in this settle
ment."
Pm curious to know where the
ladies will come FROM" said Frank
lin.
Don't you worry" rejoined Curly.
"They's plenty O women-folks."
And when does this all happen,
Curly, boy?" asked Battersleigh.
"Why, night after to-morrer night,
to the big stone hotel. They're going
to clean out the dinin' room for us.
Three niggers, two tiddlers, an a
cordion-oh, we'll have music all
right, You'll be over, Of course?"
That we will, me boy" responded
Batters.eigh. Man, well be the
first"
Now, as to a ball, Battersleigh,"
"Well, then, so long. fellers," said
Curly. 81 got to be movin' along a
little. See you at the dance. sure. 4"
said Franklin, argumentatively. when
they were alone, how can l go? I've
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26

White A strip of this at me neck
and at me wrist; me hat, an me
saber and me ridin' whip-I r-ride I'M
10 the dure. | dismount. l throw me
rein to the man. l inter the hall and
place me hat and gloves in order as
they should be. appear-Batter-
sleigh, a gintleman. appears, standin'
in the dure. the eyes of all upon him
| bow, salutin, standin' there, alone.
short on allowance, but nate and
with me own silf-respect Batters-
leigh. a bit low in kit and in allow
ance. with white at neck and wrist,
bows. and he says. Ladies and gin.
tlemen. Bfttersleigh is here.'"
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26

-four" he said. that's for the osseous
structure, SO to speak. Ye've to add
a little grease Of some sort, lard or
butter, an we've nayther; the bacon
fatll do, methinks. OF course there's
the bakn' powder. And, lastly, max
in, as l may say, the roundin' out OF
the muscular and adipose tissue of
the crayture as the sowl of the pie
we must have the apples. Now, thin.
over the top of the whole sprid this
thin blanket Of dough, thus. And now
dint in the shircumference with me
thumb, the same as July Trelawney
did in the Ould Tinth. And there ye
are, done, me pie, an may God have
mercy on your sowl.-Ned, build up
the fire."
They sat at the side OF the little
stove somewhat anxiously waiting for
the result of Battersleigh's labors.
Every once in a while Battersleigh
opened the oven door and peered in.
AS they sat for moment silent
there came the sound of approaching
hoof,beats, and presently the cracking
horse fell into duller crunch on
the hard ground before the door, and
a loud voice called out, "Whoa-hop
Bronch. Hello, in the house,"
Come in, Curly" cried Batter
sleigh. Come in. We've business of
Importance this mornin'."
Curly sat down on the edge of the
l., =.
pers ratified to the touch. Seems
like you all mighty busy this morn
In" said he.
Yes" said Franklin. You car t
guess what we're cooking
No; what?'
pie"
Go long"
Yes, sir, pie" said Franklin firmly
Curly leaned back on the bed upon
Sis elbow. respectful but very incred.
ulous. Was you sayin' I'm in on this
here pie?"
Certainly you are. You wait It'll
oe done now pretty soon," said Frank
Tin.
III we can poke straw into thin
they're done" said Battersleigh orac
alarly. Curly. hand me the broom.
Curly passed over the broom. ant
the two, with anxiety not unmixeG
with cynicism, watched Battersligt
a. he made several Intellectual at
,empts to penetrate the armor of the
pie.
stop lookin' at me like brace OF
evil-minded hyenies." protested Bat
tersleigh. "Ye'd make the devil him
self nervous, a-regardin' one so like
a object O. suspicion. Mind ye, In
Roin' to take it out
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
CHAPTER xIl.-continued.

One morning Batters,eigh was at
work at his little table, engaged, as
he later explained, upon the compost,
tion of letter to the London Times.
descriptive of the agrarian situation
in the United States of America.
when he was interrupted by a knock
at his door.
Come in, come in, Ned, my boy.
he exclaimed as he threw open the
door and recognized his visitor.
Whats the news this mornin'?"
"News?" said Franklin gaily, hold
ing his hands behind his back. 1--WE
news that you cant guess-good
news"
He held up small bag before Bat
tersleigh's face.
Its not potatoes, Ned?" said Bat
tersleigh in an awed tone Of voice.
Franklin laughed.
mo better than that" he said.
Battersleigh approached his face to
the bag and snuffed at it once twice.
thrice, as though his senses needed
confirmation. He Strengthened up and
looked Franklin in the face.
Ned" said he, his voice sinking
almost to whisper, ''it's-it's ap-
ples."
Right" said Franklin. And isn't
that news?"
THE best that could be, and the
hardest to believe" said Battersleigh.
'Where'd you get them, and how?"
Never mind that" answered Frank
lin. Tell me. do you know how to
make a pie?"
Ned" said Battersleigh, looking a.
him with an injured air, do you sup
pose I've campaigned all my life and
not learned the simplest form Of
cookin'? Pie, indeed, is it?"
well" said Franklin, you take
some risks. but we'll cha nee it. Go
ahead"
Battersleigh busted himself about
the little box which made his cup
board and soon had out what he called
his 'ingraydeyints."
"Of course, yeve to take little
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
The Kiss in the Cup.

There is no gladness in the glass
Unless thou pour for me:
But taste 1t first before It pass
And ] will drink with thee:
For il those lovely lips of thine
Have breathcd upon the hrim
I swear that | will drain the wine,
Although it reach the rim.
oh. who could bear to say thee nay,
When thou hast kissed the cup?
Or who would turn the other way
When thou hast Allied 1t up?
For. oh. the cup has kept the kiss
And carries me n share,
To show me all the wasted bliss
Thy lips have lavished there.
Jane Minot Lodge.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
CHAPTER XIII.
The First Ball at EIIisviIle.

The wife of the section boss sat IN
conscious dignity, as became a leader
of society. Below her in order of
station came Nora, the head waiter.
and the red-headed waiter girl, and
the littlest waiter girl, and the wife of
the new grocery man. These sat
silent and unhappy at one part of the
long row of chairs that lined the side
of the hall. Opposite to them. equally
silent and equally unhappy, sat lit.
tie row of men.
1t was the beginning of the ball.
These were the first arrivals. At
the head of the hall, far off, sat three
musicians, negroes alleged to play
violins and an accordion, and by that
merit raised to bad eminence.
After vast hiatus the door at the
main entrance was pulled cautiously
open, little at time. Evidently
some one was looking in. At length
the door opened and two figures en-
tered affrightedly, those of Hank Pc
terson, a neighboring rancher, and
his wife. Hank, having forthwith de-
coyed to the row of men sitting silent
against the wall, he duly reached that
harbor and sank down, wiping his
face and passing his hand across his
mouth uncertainty.
The door opened again and yet
again. Two or three engineers, a rod
man, a leveler and an axeman came in,
near behind them more cattlemen.
From among the guests of the hotel
several came, and presently the clerk
of the hotel himself. The line of men
grew steadily, but the body upon the
opposite side of the room remained
constant, immobile, and unchanged.
Say, Curly" whispered Del Hici-
man hoarsely to his neighbor 'ef
somethin' don't turn loose right soon
I'm due to die right here. I'm thrsti-
ern if this here floor was the Staked
Plains.'
Same here" said Curly in a NUT
tered undertone. But | reckon we're
here till the round-up's made. When
she do set loose, you watch me rope
that littlest waiter girl. She taken
my eye, fer Shore"
Sam, the driver, was sitting rapt,
staring mutely across the great gulf
fixed between him and Nora, the head
waiter. AS she sat. the light glinting
upon her glasses, her chin well up
held, her whole attitude austere and
commanding, Sam felt his courage
sink lower and lower, until he be-
came abject and abased. Fascinated
wnone the less, he gazed, until Curly
poked him sharply and remarked:
(which 'un you goin' to make
break fer. SAM"
IL d-d-don't know" said Sam,
startled and disturbed.
Reckon you'd like to mingle some
with Nory. hey?"
"W-w-w-well-" began Sam, de-
| fensively.
But she don't see it that way.
| Not in a hundred. Why. she'll be
| dancin with Cap Franklin, or Batty,
er some folks that's more in her line.
you see. Why in HI don't you pick
out somebody more in yer own bunch.
like?" Curly was meaning to be only
judicial, but he was cruel. Sam col
lapsed and sat speeches.. He had
long felt that his ambition was pre-.
sumption.
ITO be cOntinued)
The Grit-advocate., 1904-02-26
Commerce Of United kinodom

The United Kingdom has increased
it's export trade about ~ per cent
since 1872. Its population has in
creased 80 per cent in the same time
It exported to the United States and
Germany s5sO.000. 900 worth of goods
in 1872, and only 1855 900 900 in 1909.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1904-06-11
Removal Damage to State.

The damage that would follow the re-
moval of the capital from Pierre to Nit
chell on such a campaign as the latter has
been carrying on, is beyond computa-
ton. The argument upon which re-
moval is advocated is, that the country
in the Missouri valley and beyond it to
western limits of the state is practically
worthless and fit only for the support of
a sparse population by grazing cattle,
horses and sheep, and totally unfit for
agricultural purposes; that it always
will be such, and consequently is not q
proper country in which to place the seat
of government of such a great state as
South Dakota. 1t must not be forgotten
that this maligned district covers two
thirds of the state, including the Black
Hills, confessedly the richest district of
its size in the world, and that if this
slander were true, it would place our
whole state back into fourth class posi-
tion as to possible future development,
even though we now produce more
wealth per capita than any other state
in the union.-Lincoln County Times.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1904-06-11
A False Report Corrected.

Some weeks ago report was sent out
from Custer that one of the children OF
Mr.. and Mrs. Mead Fearing living in
this city had barely escaped being buried
alive. That the little girl, Vera, had
been placed in the coffin and after So
hours came to life and was in a fair way
to recover her usual health. This re-
port was published in the Deadwood
Pioneer.Timos and swiftly spread
through the papers as far as New York
Letters have been received even from
London asking for further particulars in
regard to the matter. All this illustrates
the saying that "a lie will travel three
miles while truth is putting his booth
on"
We have taken some pains to ascer-
tain if there was any foundation for this
report and find that there is none what.
ever. Mr.. Mead Fearing says that the
report is utterly false. The child had
scarlet fever, died and was buried, and
there was no suspicion at any time on
the part of those most interested that
she had been buried alive. The truth
is lamentable enough without adding
false and sensational errors to the
scene, and 1t is hoped we will hear no
more Of it.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1904-06-11
Teachers Institute.

The first session of the Institute open.
ed promptly at $50 Monday morning.
All the instructors were present and a
large number of teachers. Mr.. Collins
circular letter had the desired effect of
arousing most Of the teachers to the
necessity ofbeing present at the opening
session. The ardent application of the
teacher and the enthusiasm manifested
each day IN the classes speaks more for
Mr.. Collins good influence than volumes
of words could do. The suggestive man
ner in which Mr.. Hesnard presents the
MATHEMATICAL truths to his pupils each
day shows how enthusiastic he is in the
work, and what vast amount of good
he is doing for the teachers. The gentle
and instructive manner in which Miss
Wilson imparts her methods in primary
work show her interest in the work and
convince us that it is delight to be one
of her pupils.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1904-06-11
Startling Evidence.

Fresh testimony in great quantity is
constantly coming in, declaring DR..
Kings New Discovery for consumption,
coughs and colds to be unequaled. A
recent expression from 7. J. Mcfarland,
Bentorville, Va. serves an example.
He writes: II had bronchitis for three
years and doctored all the time without
being benefited. Then I began taking
DR.. Kings New Discovery, and few
bottles wholly cured me-" Equally Of.
fective in curing all lung and throat
troubles, consumption, pneumonia and
grip. Guaranteed by A. J. Jones. drug
gist. Trial bottles free. regular sizes
SOC, and 81 90.