The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-23
Bagley's
Burglar

John Bagley got his feet very wet the |
| other day during a downpour IN the clty |
but as the weather was still warm ne |
rocked little Of colds. All day he trotteo |
about his office, and when night came ne
went smiling home to Mrs. Bagley.
He took some quinine and two glasses
! OF whisky. and then grew nervous. Then
| Mrs. Bagley told him-or he thought So
when they were in the diningroom, to put
a few grains Of choral in tumhler or
| water and, after he had drunk the con-
tents of that tumbler. he'd sleep IKE
my heads spinning like one now" he
said, plaintively. r.
ley, recommend me TO mail- Here
you've got tiny little cold in your head
and chest. and you imagine you've Bot
consumption. Never in my lie ala see
NJ suppose" said Bagley, meelxiy, as he
carefully measured out the chloral into a
tumbler-"I suppose this chloi~ "on
maaaed Mrs. Bagley, imperiously,
why. you did"
has gone TO your head. l never opened
my mouth about chlorai."
Bagley's eyes were starting from his
head He was looking at Mrs, Bagley IN
sheer astonishment. He couldn't make
head nor tail of it; and he reasoned lhat
he must have been intoxicated or dIeanl-
ing and had Enthusiastically been mistaken
when he thought she recommended
put that glass back in the chest" said
| Mrs Bagiey. ,.,s
And. still wondering III his befuddled
brain, he put the glass back INTO tne
closet, spilling more choral out OF the
When thew had reached the top OF the
stairs Bagley bethought him OF a mustard
plaster.
II think III get the tive small IN I.iq mustard s5S
n1tf fpfn nm for "A few minutes.
I They're good and strong, was Mrs.
! RaEley's sole comment. as her spouse car
/ ried the two tiny excitement creators Riif-
+ gerly into the bedroom.
! ! He put one on either side Of his chest
Tbose Masters took hold. There was no
7 timidity. no indecision, no lack Of promp-
titude in their work. The very rapidlty
OF their attack almost dazed him, and he
looked out Of the window with a set.
| silly look on his face.
i rben he felt great thirst come upun
u him So much whisky parches the throat
he thought and how nice ana Cool a'Ies now
& " so0thinC would a caraffe OF water
), taste irrigating the dried-up desert or
9 his throat Then. too, water 10 auencn
L the raging fire beneath those mustard
n 40 he opened the bedroom door. and
!. was gropng his way along me I,.stll; nail;
q him round the waist. banged him 10 tne
= floor and burly form sat aslIIae MN. .
u Burglars" he thought and the per
spiration began anew.
John is that you?" called a voice
n from the bedroom.
s 'sTei her." whispered the burglar
a, that you were going for drink OF water
IS anad fell down"
r. for" whispered back Bagley in a sur
a .aWen tell her the truth, you old fool.
10 hissed the other. What's the use of ly'
ID ing about It to your own wifof
all ha RaRlQy
is as he was directed. and a petulantl1
IN muttered Idiot" followed by a hug
IS. bouncing of the bed springs told tn
ly unhappy Bagley that his wife had chang
al ed sides and was now Off 70 dreamlan'
IL again.
r asked the burglar. when Mrs. BaBlel
Man. your sitting plump down wit
all your might on two Of the hotties
as mustard plasters that ever deviled
as human being" gasped Bagley.
of Wear mustard plasters, do yout
ed asked the Burly one sympathetically
~ | used TO wear EN- once Once a felloN
cr pal Of mine-but I'll begin at the begin
nd hing"
or me take these plasters of. They T
se burning my hesh they're cooking m
is chest-sizzling it-broiling Il. IN ope
az the safe for you. tie up the silver. d
az anything. only let me take the mustar
on plasters of"
nd Not so fast. my boy" muttered th
70 burglar. I'm get of your chest tur
ch my bulls-eye on you, and then you pu
To- your hands above your head and pile
or me 10 the safe. III tell you what
n do then"
I'd The Burly One rose to his feet an
poor Bagley followed suit. Then writf
ing with pain. his hands straight up
n the air, and the bulls-eye lantern throw
id ing its powerful rays on his head Ga {
~ halo for a tortured martyr). Bagley le
er the procession Of two into the sittin
er room and stopped before the safe.
hnH oil 4~NHH boil AEnTa
ev this world let me take the mustard plal
e. ters on and Bagley dropped to h
m. knees in front Of the safe, the tears
nj agony rolling down his face.
III Open the safe grinned his persecuto
ne and You can take one plaster off"
he The fires Of an unquenchable Aetna.
ey n river OF boiling oil. of a never-ceasir
ed Hades. were devourng Bagley's breas
IN. Almost blinded by the tears that wou
come. whether he willed or not, he tris
the lock. Twice his haste reacted again
~ him, and he was forced TO begin aneS
lal The third attempt, and the safe do
on opened.
ne With a glad cry Bagiey's hands went
- his chest, but grip of strong fnge
he about his throat and the cleaning barr
Sc of a pistol pointing within a wink Of b
ed eye caused the hands TO drop neverous
.er beside him.
e. Keep COOL, said his guest, 'I'm tai
ut the plasters Off myself" and suiting Il
ch action 70 the word. the Burly One pull,
he one of the plasterers from Bagleys qui
en erlng chest. The chest was carnation,
Ito and hOrrDly puHy
Stand with YOUR back to me and yoi
hands above your head A little to Il
itv left, please. There that win do very mic
Ike ". thank you Now, I'll see what 81
y have of value"
tx "But the other plaster?" gasped Bagle
me- Dash the other plasteri" said the bu
ad glar. IN put this one in my pock
fui and In case YOU feel chilly in your nigh
he gown III clap it on your back. "
I'm don't feel col5, DO your he added. 5
"a licitiously.
he I never felt warmer in my life," Quic
IN " responded Bagley.
81 The bsrglaT took his time. and near
air everything else worth taking
,ur Now" he said, in a crisp business tor
,id Tets see what we have down stairs
mi Anything I have in the world I'll give
my said Bagley hoarsely, If you'll only tai
n this other plaster on I'm dying mar
this iS killing me I'm being burnt to
crisp before your very eyes. Come doy
ee stairs quickly. Let me give Won the G
- glass and the silver-anything ever
~ thing ~ YOURS II you'll only take n
~ other plaster or"
w w "Shut up" rudely said the guest
~ don't want every one within 4 mile
~ ,n', hear YOU. Come down stairs tie up {
,au Doodle. and I'll take the other biisi
pie maker on Of you"
e.- Downstairs they went Take it n
iai' take Il offl walled Bagley
nh- The l3fSly One very slowly, and as
ing enjoying hugely the torment of his "
III, tim. pul ed of the remaining plast
len Then Bagley collapsed in little heap