davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
BRIGHT BITS.

First Mountaineer Ito Second Noun
taineer, in Switzerland)-"W love-
ly country-Holland is!"-Punch.
I'm Utah-Client-"Can you reveal
to me the likeness of the woman I ann
going to marry?'' Medium can give
you composite photograph. Life.
-Pat-"well, here's where We live,
Mike. What shall I do now?" Mike
-"Plaze-hic-ring the doorbell first,
and thin-hic-ring fer tn ambulance y
Puck.
-'Hans, how long have you been
married?" well, dis is a ting that
1 seldom don't like to talk about, but
ven 1 does, it seems so long as it
never vas. Chicago Tribune.
--Passenger--"This train is nearly
one hour behind time, it is not?" Guard
Yes but that's all right. Wen
get in in the usual time" Passenger
What time is that?" Guard-"Two
hours late Glasgow Evening Times.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

One of the most picturesque figures
of the New York bar was the late
Thomas Nolan, a lawyer, whose witty
retorts furnished subjects for merri-
ment at many a lawyers gathering,
relates Success. Now. Nolan was at
one time counsel for a poor widow who
was suing a corporation company for
the death of her husband. The case
had been frequently postponed, and
Mrs. Moriarity by the time she had
made her fifth call was in an exceed
inly disturbed frame of mind. conse-
quently the tones of Nolan's rich
brogue were more than usually fervid
as he fought against the sixth adjourn
ment.
Il am sorry" said Justice Durgo,
but your opponent has shown me good
cause for the adjournment, Mr.. Nolan,
and the case will, therefore, go over
until tomorrow"
Very well, sor," said the barrister,
sweetly, 'but might ask wan personal
favor of this coort?
Certainly, sir with pleasure"
Twill your honor kindly sthep down
to my office and just tell Mrs. Moriari-
ty that you have adjourned the case?''
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
BRUTALITY" IN ENGLAND.

A new fad has sprung up in Lon
don, hence we shall probably hear of
it shortly in New York. It's organ is
a new publication that has made it's
appearance under the title, 1.-THE Bru-
talitarian; Journal for the Sane and
the Strong" True to its name and
it's principles, the journal is brutally
frank in advocating it's cause. 1T is
full time" it says, 'in this age of
decadent humanitarianism, that some
trumpet-tongued protest were raised
against the prevalent sentimentality,
and that there should be an attempt
to organize and consolidate the forces
that make for manliness and
patriotism. If we are fools enough to
allow the use of the lash to die out,
gOod-by to all the sterling traits in
an Englishmans character! What
could be more pitiful than the plea put
forward by the naval lords, for in
stance, that boys in the Royal navy
are not logged but 'birched,' in
spite of the fact that every public
PNAAODA man III NAlC COhIbly LhdL
the terms are identical? The Brutali-
tartan will as least make it impossi-
BILE for our friends to repeat these err
rors, for it will frankly, fully and con-
sistently uphold fiogging (under that
name), whether with birch or cane or
cat or any other instrument, as the
mainstay Of British education. War
and sport, fiesh-eating and vivisec-
ton are all kindred practices which
must stand or fall together
In other words, this new fad advo-
Gates the strenuous life in an ex-
treme sense. President Roosevelt
says that boy who won't fight is no
good. The Brutalitarian says if the
boy won't fight fog him within an
inch of his life; lay on the leather or
the birch until he begs for mercy and
is willing to demonstrate his reforma-
ton by going out and punching some
other boys eye. According to the way
of thinking of the faddists of this new
cult, Bill Sykes must have been one of
the sweetest gentlemen that ever beat
a dog or a woman.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
THE MORNING. NEWS is published


every day in the year, and served to
subscribers in the city, or sent by mall
one week, IS cents; one month. 70
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$500; one year. $500.
THE MORNING NEWS by mail,
six time a week (without Sunday
issue), one month, so cents; three
months, $3.50; six months, $500; one
year. $500.
THE WEEKLY NEWS, two issues
seek (Monday and Thursday by
'>-ail, one year. $1.OO.
Subscriptions payable in advance.
Remit by money order, check or reg
istered letter. Currency sent by mail
at risk of sender.
Transient advertisements, other than
local or reading notices, amusements
and classified column. 10 cents a line.
Fourteen lines of agate type-equal
to one inch in depths the standard
Of measurement. Classified column ad-
vertisements, / cent a word each inser-
ton. Every word and figure counted
No advertisement accepted for less
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Sundays. Contract rates and discounts
made known on application at busi-
ness Office.
Orders for delivery of the Morning
News to either residence or place OF
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delivery should be Immediately re-
ported.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed "MORNING NEWS" Savan-
nah. Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row,
New York City, H. C. Faulkner, Man
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
JACKS PICTURESQUE SLANG.
From the November Century

FROM Lne november Century.
Although, with clue-garnets and
stu'n-sails, much of the picturesque
language of the sea has passed away,
Jacks conversation is still garnished
with expressions and terms born of
the conditions of his life on the ocean.
His language with his mates is a cur
ious combination of Bowery slang and
Youse guys come I'm out
er that boat and bear a hand" as
/ heard one young cockswain order
and l believe that II Shakespeare could
known our modern Yankee man-of-
wars-man, he never would have put
strange oaths in the mouth of a SOL
der. Yet in spite Of the peculiarities
of his speech, and his almost univer-
sal neglect of the rule that two Mega
tives made an affirmative, he can send
or read the most complicated message
In either the international or naval
code-with signal flags I'm the daytime.
or by the Ardois system of red and
white electric lights at night, through
which our warships hold conversations
with one another.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
A GOOD ADVERTIsEMENr.

1t is probable that the chief purpose
of May Irwin, the well-known actress,
in providing a fund to be devoted to
erecting THE Theater of Dramatic
Art" in New York city at a period of
about one hundred and fifty years
hence was not to advertise herself,
but there is no doubt she has sur
passed every other member of her
profession in bringing herself to the
notice of the public.
The money for the proposed theatcr
is not to be set apart for that pur-
pose Immediately. 1t doesn't become
available for the scheme until her
death, and as she is yet a COMPARE
lively young woman she may not have
any money at that time. 1t is pro-
vided in her will that out of her es-
tate there shall be set apart 500, 900
for the theater, that it shall be in
vested in United States bonds and
shall not be used for the purpose in
dicated until it amounts to $4,000 900.
If the fund were Immediately availa-
BILE it would not amount to that sum
at the rate of interest which United
States bonds now pay in less than
one hundred and forty-seven years,
1t may not be available, however, in
less than twenty years, and in that
time the popular actress may change
her mind or lose Ter money.
If she had not desired any benefit
from her scheme it is probable that
she would not have permitted that
portion Of her will relating to the
theater to be made public. The fact
that she consented to have it made
public would seem to justify the con-
clusion that she intends to get out of
her philanthrophic scheme whatever
benefits it holds for her before any of
her money is turned over to trustees
who are to protect the beduest and
see that 1t is properly invested.
May Irwin has long been one of the
leading lights of the stage. She is
intensely American in her feelings,
and has taken care that her 21st GEN.
fury theater shall be American in ev-
cry sense of the word. Only American
| actors are to have the privilege OF
| playing in II and. with the exception
Of Shakespere's plays and a few OF
the comedies written during the Eliz-
abethian period, the plays are to be
by American authors. II is probable
that by the time the theater is ready
TO be opened to the public 1t will be
possible to obtain a full supply OF
American plays.
There Is one feature of Miss Twins
scheme that will have the approval OF
the patrons Of the theater of the pres.
ent day, and that is that the price OF
admission shall never be more thar
one dollar. This restriction OF tho
price Of admission. however, may pre-.
vent the patrons Of the May irwin
theater from seeing plays by the most
popular actors and actresses. Their,
is no reason for thinking the theatrl,
cal stars OF one hundred and nfty
years hence Will be willing to accept
lower salaries than those paid tn,
leading stage folks Of to-day.
II is barely possible that May irwin
expects TO get the 100000 for hel
theater out OF the pockets OF the PEG.
PIE before she quits the stage. II
that is the case. the advertisement sh,
has given herself will help her to ac
cumulate Il In a comparatively shorl
time.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Albany IN. " Argus (Dem.)
says: The Chicago Tribune (Rep.)
commits both lese majestic and sacri-
lege toward the consecrated tariff when
1t asks to have the tariff of % cents
bushel on wheat removed. Nay,
nay Stand pat and rejoice that you
are permitted to pay higher prices for
smaller loaves of bread"
The Montgomery Advertiser Dem
says; When Gen. Grant was asked
why he voted for Buchanan, a Demo-
crat. and a man whom he did not know,
In preference to Fremont, Republican,
his significant reply was Because /
do know Fremont. That same reason
will cause many Republicans TO vote
for Parker. They know Roosevelt"
The Philadelphia Record (Dem.)
says: George the Third in his OBJ
stinacy and blindness expended thou
sands OF lives and millions of English
money to convince himself that the
American colonies were not NJ for self
government. The Roosevelt adminis-
tration Is spending more lives and
more money than the American colo
MES cost England to maintain the
theory that the F1lipinos are not cap
able Of governing themselves"
The Houston Post CDem) says: If
the trend Of Republicanism is danger
Gus. the only sensible thing to do is
TO return to the safe ground OF the
past. The evils of Republicanism can
not be eradlcated by continuing the
Republican party In power. The ten
denotes Of the time are plain enough
10 convince the conservatives and the
laboring classes that unless the Re
publican party and the trusts are de-
feated now, "a situation viii confront
the country frauEht with peril not only
10 the prosperity OF the people. the
tranquility OF society and the progress
OF the nation, but 20 liberty itself"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
index ~ NEW ADVERTISEMENTS

Meetings-Ancient Landmark Lodge,
No. 2S1, f. and A. M; Mt. Moriah
Lodge No. Is, A. F. and A. M.
Special Observation-Disclosures Roos'
Market
Business Notices-Any Little Job, G..
w Thomas; Blue Points, Sommers'
Cafe; Always Attractive, I. H. Fried
man & Co.; The Leading Purveyors,
A NJ. & c. W. West.
In the Long Run-Connor & Sulli-
van.
Shippers Carnival-A. Ehrlich &
Bro.
Election Returns-At Carnival To-
Night.
Green River Whisky-The DeImonico
Co.
warburines for Cold-Rowlinski,
Druggist.
whisky-Lewis' Sc Rye.
Foods-Grape Nuts.
Tetterine Soap. T. Shuptrine.
Good Work Is the Habit-Savannah-
Georgia Laundry.
Genuinely Good-Lattimore's.
Gannymede Pure Rye-Henry Solo,
mon & Son.
/ Poll a Big Vote-Pete Daley.
Florida Oranges-W. D. Simkins &
Co.
Savannah Theater-To-night Under
Southern Sl1ies.''
Medical-Pyramid Pile Cure; Swamp
Root; Pinkham Remedy; CAMS Kid
ney Cure.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For
Rent; For Sale: Lost; Personal; Mis-
cellaneous
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
-e~e-s----
Couldn't stand $2S.45 for a Meal.

A tall. raw-boned individual who
didn't need a grasshopper peeking out
of a side pocket to tell he was from
Kansas, wandered into a Second ave-
nue. cafe a few days ago, says the Seat
tie Post Intelligencer.
A waiter brought him the regular
dinner bill of fare and waited for the
order. The Kansas man didn't say
a word. He was hard at work. He
studied over that programme for
nearly half an hour, and then, with a
sigh, arose and started for the door.
What is the matter, sir?' anxious
ly queried a waiter, thinking that the
patron had been offended.
TOO steep for me, young Teller. I
can't pay $2S. As for one meal. It's
too rich for my blood"
On the table at which the Kansas
man had been seated was found q
small piece of paper covered with fig
ures. He had added the prices of
everything on the bill of fare.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
why a PopuIist Cut His Beard.

Mark Smith. former Congressman
from Kentucky, told of a Kansas SEN
ator who appeared in Washington with
long beard, then suddenly cut it
off.
IF you must know" said the sem
ator upon being asked. why. it was
like this. / was in the Senate one
day. working away, when two pages
came up behind me.
He's a Populist,' whispered one.
from Kansas
" No. said the other, I'm not so
sure
" Wen prove IT,, declared the first
page. I'll go up behind him and give
him a good, hard kick. If jack rab-
bit doesn't jump out of his beard. then
you win.
9TH leave. it to anybody" concluded
the senator. III ii wasn't time TO cut
off the beard"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

What blow to Atlanta's egotism!
The New York Press relates: IAN
'Anglishman in Atlanta, Ga, had a let
from Scotland addressed, Bank,
AtApta, Georgia, America and II
wenSNnto the South American mail
bag. got it three months late" But
maybe vas because II had Georgia
added TO VI address that the letter
went wror. still, the postal people on
the other sic Of the ocean were gross
~ ignorant NJ TO know that there
is only one Aa Ia, and that Georgia
is a part of II.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
A BETTER FAIR, nut FEWER At
TEND.
From the Chicago Inter-ocean.

From the Chicago Inter- Ocean.
The attendance at the Worlds Fair
In st. Louis for six days Of last week
was 74s.36S. less than half the attend
ance at the Worlds Fair In Chicago for
the corresponding six days In October.
1898. The attendance for October. with
yesterday omitted, was 1855. 102 at ST
Louis. against an attendance Of 1896,
$50 for October at Chicago. The total
attendance at ST. Louis from April 30
to oct. 30 is 1898 95, against a total
attendance at Chicago from May 1
20 Oct. 30. OF 27,539,521. The indica-
tons are that the attendance at 81
Louis for November Will be larger than
that Of September or October. bringing
the total, probably, up 70 200000O0 for
the seven months, as compared with
21b8e,52l for the six months az Chi
cage. Under the circumstances, this
10 a good record.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

A bright young Dane has recently
taken the position of elevator boy in
a downtown apartment house, says
the Philadelphia Press. The other
night young doctor who lives there
returned at about 10 o'clock and asked
whether there had been anyone to
call on him during his absence.
Yas," replied the Dane. Deere vas
two''
Who were they?"
"Huh?"
Did they leave their cards?"
Dare cards?"
Yes, yes! Did they tell you their
names?"
The Dane smiled.
'Oh-h-hl Vas, dav dole me dare
names. 1t was Mr.. Not Much und his
wife"
And not until next day did the doc
tor discover that his guests were some
old Boston friends-Mr. and Mrs.
Blank Doolittle.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
Wanted his Tronser. skin Tirht.

AT one time in his career Senator
Blackburn OF Kentucky was rather a
dandy In his way. While so afflicted
he ordered a pair of trousers from his
tailor and he expressly stipulated that
they were TO be skin tight. The trous-
ers came home and the Senator tried
them on. He went right to the tailor
the name Of everything unprintable do
you mean by sending me trousers like
that?' he shouted. why, you said TO
make them skin tight" said the tailor.
Skin Tight" yelled the Senator.
Yes, by this and that said skin
tight. I wanted them merely skin
tight. I can SIT down in my skin, ana
can't in these"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
Aims for a nIind nerrnr.

Maurice Barrymore and J. NJ. Hill.
the old theatrical manager. were en-
gagged IN business conversation on
Union Square, says the New York
Times. A blind beggar applied 10 them
for aims, but they did not notice him,
and he walked away When he had
gone about twenty feet Hill excused
himself, ran after the beggar and gave
him something.
Il always help the blind" ne said.
It's a good idea" retorted Barry
more. They can't see what you give
them"
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
WEST END LINE LincoIr PorS

Car leaves west side of City Market for Lin.
thereafter until HAS p. m
Car leaves Lincoln Park for Market e:e0a n
and every 40 minutes thereafter until IL o clock
midnight
FREIGHT AND PARCEL CAR
Leaves east side OF City Market for Thunder
poit. Cattle Park. Sandfiv Isle OF Hope and ali
Intermediate points-9;I5 a. m. LIS .. nj. 5;lS
Leaves Isle Of Hope for Sandfy, Cattle Park,
Thunderbolt and all Intermediates pointsEs.fsi
a. m, ii:00 a. m. 800 D. m.
Freight car leaves Montgomeryatk "A a n
and 2:35 p. M, connecting at Sandfiv with reg.
ular parcel car fof city
Parcel car from the city carries freight 70
Montgomery on each trip.
Regular parcel car carries trailer on each
trip for accommodation OF passengers
ANY further information regarding passen
applying TO L. r. NASH, Manager
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

Having assaulted Santa Claus and
denounced him as a fraud and fake,
some of the advanced" women's clubs
of Chicago have now tackled the toys
Of childhood with the purpose in view
of consigning them to the trash-heap.
One of the advanced women, in an
address the other day. declared: The
earliest toys given children generate in
them a spirit of cruelty. One of the
first playthings given boy is whip.
and as he rides his playhouse, his
mother urges him to whip the bad
horse. A little later the boy is pre-
scented with A set of tin soldiers, and
with these he plays at the cruel art
of war. Then when he is a lad he is
given a popgun, and told to go out
of doors and kill the birds. With the
use Of these toys the infection of cruel
ty becomes pleasure" An astute
Chicago professor some months ago
asserted that every sport and pastime
Of modern man was a survival of the
savage instincts and practices. He
instanced baseball, football and even
tennis as survivals of the times when
man was obliged to practice speed, skill
and cunning in capturing his food or
escaping from his enemies. Possibly
the tin soldiers and the popguns of our,
children are similarly relics of that
spirit of savagery that centuries of
civilization have not sufficed to eradi-
cate. Meanwhile, what little girl is
not made better and tenderer by her
dolls, and what little boy is not made
stronger and more cheerful by his
tops kites. wagons and marbles?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08
COILINSVULE LINE

Beginning at 6:05 a. m. cars leave
Waters road and Estill avenue every
20 minutes until 1905 midnight.
Beginning at sos a. m. cars leave
City Market for Waters road and
Estill avenue every 20 minutes until
1905 midnight
Through cars are operated between
Market and Thunderbolt via Collins
vile and Dale avenue as follows:
Lv. Market Lv. Th1,nderholt
GAS A. M. 7:30 a nj
6:45 P. M. 7.30 PM
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

A wilkesbarre. Pas\nan has a dog
whose breed ought to Ne perpetuated
and pups Of whose strain of
blood ought to fetch snug
sums in the open market.
The dog has a nose for money.
and there is scarcely a day that he
does not bring his master a bin or a
coin Of some denomination. Anything
from copper cent to big bill the
dog will pick up and carry home. He
spends most Of his time in the retail
shopping district and is credited with
having pioked up and carried to his
owner -sesrai hundred dollars. on one
oecesiCa. b v related. the dog with
the nose Tor money picked out OF n
rio 81 waste paper certined check.
which he laid ~ the feet Of his mas
teE
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

An Ohio woman has gone" George
Meredith, lone better on his idea OF
marriage for limited term of years.
She holds that a woman ought to have
the right to discharge her husband
1.-THE same as any other servant" wher
she becomes displeased with him. She
advanced this proposition in a divorce
court the other day.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

In Charleroi, Pa, the other day a
crowd of boys from 10 to II years of
age caught a negro named Morris, put
a moose over his mead and hoisted
him to a telegraph pole. A police Of
ficer happened along just in time to
cut the negro down and save his life.
What crime had he committed? Oh,
none at all; he merely had black skin
and the boys were out for little fun.
They have peculiar ideas of fun. in
Pennsylvania.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

Carl Schurz says there are two
Roosevelts. If the voters to-day do
their duty in the light of the best in
terest of the country, there won't be
any Roosevelt in public life after
March next.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

Nikola Tesla says that New York's
subway is nothing but an elevated
road put in , hole under the ground"
A good rule win work both ways. Is
the elevated road merely a subway
put on iron pillars?
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

The weather bureau predicts a cool
wave. with probable snow, in certain
parts Of the North and West to-day.
In other parts Of the country, too.
some of the candidates will find the
temperature decidedly frosty.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

Beginning tomorrow, the fool cleo
ton bettors will be in evidence. The
man embarrassing a ton of coal, the
man rolling peanut with a tooth
pick and the man trundling another in
a wheelbarrow will claim attention dur
ing the remainder of the week.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

They have no reverence for the
antique in New York. They care
nothing for that mature, mellow look
that comes only with age. They want
things to shine of newness and smell
of fresh paint. The city hall had be-
gun to take on that decorous and ven
cradle aspect that only years can give
a marble pile, and certain aesthetic
New Workers were beginning to con-
graduate themselves that they would
have at least one building besides
Trinity and st. Pauls churches that
would suggest respectable age If not
antiquity. But they reckoned without
their host. The city fathers" have
concluded that the city hall must be
cleaned and polished They have
therefore turned sand-blast against
its walls and pillars. and in short
while it will be as white and shining
as a new tombstone. Verify, one
might be led to believe that the New
Workers would sandpaper a meer-
schaum pipe az soon as II began to
take on the rich mahogany color.
The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-08

Is there nothing OF the past that
the moderns are bound to respect The
gondolas Of Venice are 10 be replaced
by electric and gasoline boats. and
power launches have made their APP
pearance on the Dead Sea. No doubt be-
fore a great while tourists Will be able
TO ascend the pyramids in express
elevators and the camels OF the Great
Desert will have TO give way 10 auto
mobiles.