The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-12-25
IWHY|s SNOW ?:THA7 !.
IS THE. QU IS ]. On.
And Here Is What Nat Good
win and a Few Q theirs
Say About IT, a9.

II ..,Vhya is snow?'' THAT Is the question.
31 n was asked gor Nat c, K Goodwin. i, NJ
4. ii':.Why ?''il55lS|S answered Az the q comedian.
tsnowa to lustrute the generosity :. Or
ay ,5n LIZ ssW
for Christmas gifts u zen ne 53ga VIC
ride would be truly merry, and every ,,sr
one wouldn't be broke Don't ask me that
gal,; feet are wei 20 ~
ood Lew Fields was appeaal ed y,
4 ii al; am glad d that you pllcatong me
on dot business For some time nat
gntion. ISwill make you q speak IN sclen-
inntifics. Der secretsis der difference be-
tween der chunks and der drops I. It nus
rain falls dot atmosphelies comes dawn n
in suchR a $littlenessiof which max es wet
ness. But youlwill make q notice dot der
little pieces Of + atmo spherie makes snci
quick gogs Grdery,ee dgr von.d sGGh
Dat would be bnd for tho subway In
particular, also all 1. on top would pc
drowned business Is net t., be- e.
Ger ,,e ass , mswbe
on der ground 9{{afdt yet Y not make |5sa
3drowndings u Ike iii der time \, OF n oah.f
neutrality-suspicious. come d Wn n n Il
by oder clentifcers dot cold snow !. 4,
stay BY der top or der ground yet, which
is not SO vet dot ii Is $actioned like tSa
blanket III I'd Ell bed keeping Il der55 mick
robes into der earth SO got der ~ M
sconlings ollt BY DENT q make sickness by
der peoples, witch Is der .esult.a 5
as..Dot "a is d good Sscientincker for der
noospaper, ain I'll yet 5sl .llaf& oders.np
in der sd leeves of my coat, but su fficlency
to-day Is II DIT one of why IS. DER snow.
Good fenn e., 5i5g III isE5 III
j % Weber attributed this answer:
ljer sno w va s made to- cover{d der, grass,
so dot that fel low i'll y okl yn VINO ate
p ba 5nads
a punishlnentf Of Suchfan olltra geousn r,s Us
as dldidAto spoil dei., lnnscape by multi a.
4tloning the cart could no. R pc govern
mented by der pol 50 der snow nov ea,ne,
Dot man lad "A hear I'll for In q eeile
Vile Eall der grass would be from der
ground offt und der 70 or cows gund horses 1
S,ln JAG kasses &@und IA Cd Ter fowl would NC
5starvationed. s5. d q, 4, B. e \, ~
such a business der country over7do o., y "
would ali {har$to ride In der automobile
%und der would be no horses Z, to put lh4
front Of N der eighs. Winter W. y,
spoiled, und der fleedle hildrens would
ybe unhappy because they could make no
Sliding on ders hills down init der sledds$
SBeing' putriotistive spirited ias { a cltlzer-A
shlp,1I take this view or der snow und
answer dot this is der re song " y y DER
snow iss. ''t I'M
Fred stone, Wizard Of Or. Company
sald:sS.t.WhysEis snow? First B; because
that's its Nance second because 1t helps
the gum shoe Industry; third hecause ~
can't stay in. he, coud fourth because
you & can't go Safeguarding on E5 cobble-s
stones; fifth because It looks good on.
the stage; sixth, because you ask me Is,
s Ciustave Dorva !, u Of the Central Park
Casino safd:s hys is sno W because q
who showss}up sin q siei gil; I. second, be-
cause ST slielpsg bus nest I; bird because
ait.snakes Central Park the: only fairy
Fland New: y orke ever seem cart n 855
Elk Sheriff Es"Tifn'' q Dun remarked why
is ?''lj That S ecause Ut hides
the sins Of tho Republicans, makes the
cheeks ofstheS girls bloom flke roses, and 4
the smell Of q hot Irish remind you Of
Paradisc!'' 5$E5s Ri II 3y " E. N
va Colonel Abe q Gruber5 said: why Is
$anow?S Why, tust to give us some idea Of
q the size OF Roosevelt. IS vote last. MONTH
3 ]. 'Esld &c ,'.,F snid Edna. May: ITS snow.
ian't it.,and what's the use? It's good
thing, ana II It didn't come there " ould
matter. y va nothing ngains It., and I
never could solve riddles Go away you
are TRYING to make mo think
Charles Is Evans " Snow is because It
did not raln$5$A Ask mo NJ hard one. Here 8
s little thing Il just dashed of apropo:
IA It is easy to .be funny,
S When the day Is soft and sunny $,.$ yf
And the ever-gentle summer zephyrs blow,
S But 1t takes a gift colossal
TO crack a iok o not fossil
When the world is. ank!e-deep in slush
and snow. t3
3a''There, now
Oscar Hammerstein: 'If this Is a riddle
L give it5up. / { you are serious and want
an answer. i also give It up. Snow, Is and
r don't know W hy.5 1t would be Just as
well and We would get along the same
without 1t. It may he that It Is sent
Just to glveyua a variety Of wea Their, " s5