The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-12-15

I'm from him wild de nub we strOls out
OF &c Joint
My friend dat Maupiu calls de HUI
man Derrick, leaves me at de first
corner. sayin' he's got a date wild a
peach and he has got 20 shake de EOil
or she probably do de hurt pig act and
rob him of his chanst 10 make good. l
waits Tor nm thoirty minutes and he
comes back wid dat same clamy eye,
and his hands chucked in his pockets.
The Time Rome Fell.
New here comes de time dat Rome
fell and / punctured my Tx. - de
outside of de crowd / does some more
sizin' up. In de joint ! tells the new cub
dat I'm to do the stalling while he holds
up his reputation as de derrick. Oats
my Prince Albert (meaning long
suiO, is what dat guy shoots at me.
walked behind one man who was inter-
ested in what dis foreign gent was spell
inc and he looks good 10 me for about
seventy-five p}unks or perhaps hun
dred ease note. De wallet was stickin
outn as plain as day I'm his right hand
hip pocket and when / signals TO de new
one To niu the purse he glides by and I
could have sworn he never touch cat
gent VT de swag.
Loss your nerve" pard2' ] asks Of
him when he throwed me down.
Nix. I couldn't even lose me balance
If I wanted to-" says he. Wild actually
a rOugish squirt i'm dem clamy optics.
as he opens his coat and shows me
red covered wallet dat looks as slim
as "a man wild consumption.
81 fought / had q boird of a pal who
could brush by "a Gull and relieve him
# his coin without even turning a haiT
OF arCusiu' suspicion. / spotted out
lady wild a black silk~hand bag In her
right paw and an oatmeal smile on her
benevolent face I nudges dis so-called
derrick wild me right hand and motions
me block over toward her.
The new one glides by like society
man leading cotillion. I'll stake my
life dat he never touched dat kind old
lady's hand bag. ] gives him a call Tor
being goose heshy. but dat guy comes
up smiling like a Cadever I'm "a pine box
and almost freezes me when he shows
me q black silk hand bag wild initials on
il and a pocketbook which looks wei
I filed. in fl.
Snap of the Season.
81 agin believed ] had de snap OF de
season. and thought of the injustice
dat de profesh had done my new one
by not calm him De lightning grab
Der I'D thunder stealer.' If ever ] work
ed hard and overtime il was wild dis
Euv. and when ] calls il of when he
crowd was all ON de trollies. me and
de new one tr0ts off 10 me room. where
I gives Up IS cents 20 be bit almost 70
death. ] pulls out me bunch of rubber
bands, expecting a record breakin' haul
Dat moke shells out thoirteen pocket
books and handbags all togedder.
Gee. but dey did look like de tubcr
culosis or some other pulmonary trou-
bic for they appears like hotel flannel
cakes. I opens No. and got one meas
ly brand new dollar ou'n it, De pocket
book wasn't worth % cents No. gives
up $l9S The thoird one shells out
bunch of visiting cards. and a three
ycar-old pOstOffice order for 1886. De
handbags has a cheap pocketbook Wild
IS cents and a pair Of beads in IT,
We'll, anyhow, pard believe me. If.
you viii, I gifts about SIS cold cash Out'n
dat deal And i figured dat ] ought 10
have gotten about $500 bucks 1 gives de
new one de frigid frown, de icy glare.
but. damn me. If / could freeze him. III
told him 10 run count his toes or givel
himself TO some medical school for dis
section. but he never budges He hold
out'n his dirty paw and asks me for his
half. / amt got de gan 10 throw him
down, so ] gives him de hull turnout.
and vtd another smile dat almost takes
me on n me pins when ] imagine / Kin (
see IL, he pockets de swag, and / fought
1 spled "A couple OF purses In his pocket [
but beheViu dey had no more in them
dan the rest L don't call de turn on
him
He asks me If ] wants de old pocket
book and bags and / yells NO as loud
rs de Lord would let me. Tanks. says
ne i mout use 'em. and he gathers
en- up. / was disgusted and actually
fought OF reformin' or signin de pledge.
but ] gifts good and sleepy worryin' and
WOnderin' what 1 had stacked up
against. so ] tumbled on 10 de pallet and
slep so sound ! never even fought 10
ask de bugs what was de score OF de
Football game dey played on me back.
Next mornin' ] takes meseIf down 10
ne chuck joint and dey all gives me de
IA, ha, and says how easy / am / asst
the culls 10 explain and dey saws fl
am necessary as / stacked up agin de /
Derrick and dats about all dat need be
known. Il appears dat dis Derrick come
into dc possession OF about thoirteen I
wallets. handbags and purses some few
years ago. Maupin is IN onto de deal and |.
steers men like mesclf who has spent d |
decade AT de trade. up agin dis Derrick I
row dis guy can lift 'em when dere's /
nobody looking and his bOird is asleep /
cut never when der's mOre'n one and 4
dat one Is awake. On me he plaved de
same old gag. He goes to de corner.
leave me 10 keep his date and comes /
back from his room wild all pockets /
stuHed wid desc unlucky thOirteen what /
he owns.
The Derrick's Method.