The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-09-04
MIR.DN@ItJg,Y @07 T1sas AUTOMOBILE

Ir-run away an p'raps injured some
 body. I tell ye this little anecdote tc show ye, monsther, that I have nc prejudice. Swear tn witnesses
 "John Coolin, druggists assistant tistyfed that he had left his baby car redge containin' wan fourteenth iv all he possessed on arth, on tn sidewalk while he wint into a saloon to buy a postage stamp. Whin he come out, tn vehicle had rolled down to tn curb He wud swear that Algernon's auty- mobill was goin' eighty miles an hour. Tn coort: How did ye time him? Tn witness: Through tn newspa- apers.
 August Schmidt. teamster, tistyied that while attimptin' to find a brick to throw at tn masheen (Th' coort: Good fir you.') he slipped an sprained his ankle. (Cries iv 'Shame.D
 officer Doolittle tistyfied that he followed Algernon fir two miles on foot. He wud swear that he was go- in between sixty an wan hundherd an two miles an hour. How did ye time him.? asked tn coort. Be me stop watch 'Whin did it stop? Last week. That's all I want to hear says tn larned coort. 'Algernon Rox, this coort always timpers justice with mercy an timpers mercy with timper.
 
 first of1nce. I will merely sintince ye to be hanged. An let this narrow es- cape be a warnin' to ye.' he says.
 Such. Hinnissy. Is tn happy life an arly death iv tn millyonaire with tn autymobill. Did I iver r-rlde in wan? Almost, wanst. Wan day I hear cry iv Kill him. followed by a shower iv bricks an l knew some millyonaire was out fir a jaunt or spin or pinch nt tIfNy lyonaire be but Hogan. He has q frind who Is a Fr-rinch shower. Tn millyonaire an his companyon jus got to me dure a yard in fr~ront iv tn ex- | cited popylace. I wint out an canned tn peasanthry with few well chosen kicks an Hogan asked me to go f'r a spin as far as Brighton Park. But jus as l was about to step into me proper place in s'ciety along with lawn W. Gates. tn autymobill had a | convulsyon. I heerd a terrific rumh- lin in its inteeryor it groaned an coughed, an thried to jump up in tn air. Something is wr-rong with ye'er ir'n horse, says l. He's ct some thing that don't agree with him. Ye ought to take him to a vet Come along says Hogan No says I, I'll not r-ride no autymoobill with tn epozootic. Ye ought to be took un 'V til SCleIy LII pTeNlnlyOn lV croolty to autymoobills. Get out an lead it back to tn barn. says I. Ye're crazy says he. Its all right, says he. Alley says he to tn shoov- CT. Alley be dam'd.' says tn shoov- CT. Tn oilers lakin'.' Him an Ho- gan got down on tn tshreet an got out plumber's,a blacksmith's an a | carpenters outfit. put on overalls an wint to wurruk. This Is fine spoort.' says I. It's ragal. l says. | How happy a blacksmith's helper 1 mus be to get two dollars day fr | bein' an autymoobilist.' Shut up,' says Hogan firm undher tn car. | Whin he comes out. he looked as though he'd been coalin' a liner. It's | all ready now says he. But 1t wasn't | Tn shower wint to tn front an turned | crank, few bars if Wagner fol- lowed in Fr-rinch be which I recog- | nized that he come firm tn same | Arondissemint in Ia belle Roscommon as mesilf an turned again. Tn auty- | moobill groaned an thrembled, Hogan | begun to bounce on his seat, tn shower lept into tn car, pulled five levers put on tn hard pedal an thin tn soft. 1 blew his horn an r-ran into an ice | wagon We're off, yells Hogan. | .xs AE:Ee,' aays i 'sn, se is Ys,sr back