, 1904-02-08
T0NdUtDtsIROYING fRfxtK LANGUAGE
The Rue de la Sitting Bull Difficulty Is
in Getting the Drink You Want
Paris an Old Town-The Exposition
MOI Very Enjoyable.

| am going to rest myself by writing
a NV pages in the language spoken in
the United States, for | am tired of the
Internal lingo of this God-forsaken
country. and feel like talking in my
own mother tongue and on some other
subject than the exposition. | have
very foolishly tried to talk a little of
this tongue-destroying French, but my
teeth are so loose now that | am going
to let them tighten up again before
try it any more.
Day before yesterday it was very
warm, and ! asked two or three friends
to step into a big drug store on the
Rue de la Sitting Bull, to get a glass
of soda. Il don't remember the names
of these streets, so in some cases |
give them Wyoming names.) think
the man who kept the place probably
came from Canada. Most all the peo-
pie in Paris are Canadians. He came
forward. and had a slight attack of
NNi'i ~ am SAiuE
Il vooly VOC a la boomerang"
| patted the soda fountain and said:
NO, not so bad as that, if you
please. Just squeeze a little of ypIr
truck into a tumbler, and flavor it to
suit the boys. AS for myself, | will
take about W fingers of bug juice in
mine to sweeten my breath"
But he didn't understand me. His
parents had neglected his education,
no doubt. and got him a job in a drug
store. So | said:
Look here, you frog-hunting, red
headed communist, | will give you just
five minutes to fix up my beverage,
and if you will put a little tangle-foot
into it | will pay you; otherwise | will
pick up a pound weight and p~aralyze
you. Now. you understand. Flavor it
with spirituous frumenti, old rye, ben
zine-bay rum-anything! Farley VOC
c pluribus unum, sic semper go
braugh! Do you understand that?"
h'N hS uluh u Sldlu IL, 81 1 Hdu
to IT.. him. | am having him stuffed.
The taXidermist who is doing the job
lives down on the Rue de la Crazy
Woman's Fork. l think that is the
name of the rue that he lives on.
Paris is quite an old town. 1t is
older and wickeder than Cheyenne. l
think. but | may be %prejudiced against
the place. 1t is very warm here this
summer, and there are a good many
odors that | don't know the names of.
1t is a great national congress of rare
imported smells. l have detected and
catalogued 1850 out of a possible
400.
| have not enjoyed the exposition
so much as l thought | was going to;
partly because it has been so infer.
nally hot, and partly because | have
been a little homesick. was very
homesick on board ship; very home.
sick, indeed. About all the amuse-
ment that we had crossing the wide
NdStc VI "dltlS was " SO anu lean
over the ships railing by the hour,
and telescope the duodenum into the
aesophagus. | used to stand that way
and look down into the dark green
depths OF old ocean. and wonder what
mysterious secrets were hidden be.
meath the green, cold waves and the
wide rushing waste of swirling, foamy
waters. | learned to love this weird
picture at last, and used to go out ON
deck every morning and swap my
breakfast to this priceless panorama
for the privilege of watching it all day
| can't say that l banker very much
for a life on the ocean wave. l an
trying to arrange it so as to go home
by land. think | can make up for the
additional expense in food. bought
more condemned s~ustenance, and
turned it over to the Atlantic ocean
for inspection, thea | have eaten since
| came here.-Bill Nye.
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