The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

Press Exchange.)
0HERE is an old song. very old
song, the refrain Of which runs
thus: Twas merry In the hall,
i when the boards wagged all, we
shall never see the like again. againl
We shall never see the like again!"
Whether there was anything particu-
larly hilarious in the wagging Of
boards, We may not feel able to de-
terInine. but there is unquestionably q
vague sense of something festive and
social conveyed in the quaint lines. We
feel, without knowing why, that it was.
1t must have been, merry in the hall"
at the distant period alluded to-while
at the present time We are daily and
hourly made painfully aware that
whether II be in hall, drawing room or
extensive reception gallery the mer-
rimen1 formerly SO well sung and
spoken Of exists no longer. The Harp
that once through Tara's Halls-noi-
I mean the boards that once wagged
in the hall wag no more. Honest
laughter has given place to the nanny
goat staggering bleat now common to
polite society, and understood to be the
elegantly trained and cultured" ex-
preston OF mirth. The warm hand
shake has. IN a very great measure,
degenerated into the timorous offer of
two or three clammy fingers extended
dubiousdy, as with d fear OF microbes.
And hospitality, large-hearted, smil-
ing, gracious hospitality, is dead and
wrapped in its grave clothes. waiting
in stiff corase-like state for its final
burial.
Public dinners, public functions Of all
kinds-in England at any rate-are
merely so many funeral feasts in MEM
ory Of the great defunct virtue. Its
spirit has fied-and there is no calling
il back again. The art Of entertaining
is lost-together with the art of con-
versation And when our so-called
friends are "at home" we are often
more anxious to find reasons for de-
clining rather than for accepting their
invita- ations, simply because we know
that there is no real "at home" in 1t,
but merely an "out-of- home" arrange
rnent, in which a mixed crowd of peo-
pie are asked to stand and swelter in
an uneasy crush on staircase and in
drawing-room, pretending TO listen to
music which they can scarcely hear
and scrambling for tea which is gen.
orally too badly made TO drink. In
deed, il may be doubted whether Of all
the various ludicrous social observ-
ances in which our progressive day
takes part there is anything quite so
sublimely idiotic as a smart "at home"
in London during the height OF the
season. Nothing certainly presents
Jnen and women in such q singularly
Ifnintelligent aspect. Their faces all
wear more or less the same expression
OF forced amiability-the same civil
grin distorts their poor mouths-the
same wondering and weary stare af
ficts their tired straining eyeballs-
and the same automatic announcement
and ha11d-jerk works every unit an
each approaches the hostess in the con-
ventional manner enJoined by the
usages OF that cultured" hypocrisy
which covers a multitude OF lies. Sheep
herding in a field and cropping the
herbage in the comfortable uncon-
sciousness that they are eating merely
TO be eaten are often stated to be the
silliest Of animals-but whether they
are sillier than the human beings who
consent TO be squashed together in
stuffy rooms where they can scarcely
move, under the sham impression that
they are 'at home" with a friend, is a
matter open to question OF course to
some minds 1t may be and no doubt is
extremely edifying to learn by the So
ciety papers that Mrs. So-and-So Or
Lord and Lady Thingemmy will EN-
tertain a great deal this season" Peo-
pie who have no idea what this kind
OF entertaining" means may have gilt
tering visions thereon.
They may picture TO themselves
scenes of brilliancy where "a thousand
hearts beat happily, and when music
arose with its voluptuous swell soft
eyes looked love to eyes which spake
again, and all went merry as mar
riage bell," Only these things do not
happen. Anything but love is looked"
from soft eyes and hard eyes equally
derision. contempt, Indifference, de-
lection, malice and $50 far as cham
pagne, ices and general messy feeding
are concerned) greed light up these
windows Of the sour' from time to
time during the progress Of such fes-
tivities; but love, never! The women
are far too busy finding standing room
wherein TO show themselves and their
newest frocks off to advantage to
waste any moment in mere sentiment,
and it is a christianity beautiful sight
TO see how the dear things who. wear
the dressmaker's latest creations"
elbow and push and hustle and tread
on the toes Of their sisters who are less
highly favored than themselves in the
matter Of mere clothes. AS for the men.
IL they have, by dint Of hard exertion,
managed to get into the crush" and
near enough TO the hostess to bow and
touch her hand, their sole attention
henceforward becomes concentrated on
the business OF getting out again as
rapidly as possible. For let 1t be said
TO the praise, honor and glory Of the
Eterner sex that. taken in the rough
majority, they detest the fashionable
'at home" with vlgoror. and honest
intensity-and unless tho are Of the
degenerate class who like to be seen
hanging around some notoriously press
puffed professional beauty" or some