Smyrna times., 1904-05-11

John Spencer of Grand Junction, Col,
has succeeded in perfecting a seedless
apple. The vermiform appendix is
now out of job.
An alleged Messiah of India, Mirzah
Chulam Ahmed, has issued a loud
def to John Alexander Dowie and
proposes a prayer tournament. Dowie
will come home the other way.
A man named Edge has run his
automobile 1900 miles without once
stopping, starting from the southern
end of England and finishing at John
O. Groat's house.
Patti has gone home to Wales. She
carried $500, 900 with her and left Mr..
Grua, her manager, a bankrupt. She
did not draw the expected audiences.
The people had had enough.
A Philadelphia court has decided
that it is no crime for hungry man to
eat at hotel or restaurant and refuse
to pay. This makes the generous
metropolis of the Quakers the mecca
of the hoboes.
The base ball seasons on, and harkl
you hear the hindermost remark.
heres welcome to the rainy day
which once we used to blame: for
every time we cannot play we do not
lose a game"
Prof. Graham Bell, inventor of the
telephone, sent up in the suburbs of
Washington last Saturday a nest of
tetrahedral kites strong enough IN
lift any man. He will now eouip
them with a motor and fly.
General Chaffee disapproves of the
Tommy Atkins cap adopted for gar
rlson use, worn on the side of the face
IN imitation of British soldiers. He
says it suggests vanity and braggart
impudence.
The Isthmian canal commissioners
have received 10000 applications for
positions in the Panama Canal work.
They report the climate salubrious;
but February and March are the
pleasantest months of the wear in
Panama.
The Washington Post says ''the
Mormon church might score a point if
it could show that it had ever heaped
honors on bachelor" If furnishino
President Smith with six wives and
forty-two children wasn't heapipe
honors on bachelor, what would YOU
call it?
Andrew Carnegie's So, 200, COO fund
for heroes seems somewhat quixotic
and fantastic, but it may be used for
real value. The Colorado sheriff who
risked his life in defending a criminal
from mob of would be lynchers ought
certainly to be put on the hero list.
Prince Pu Lun has begun taking in
st. Louis fun; soon he'll strike on the
Pike, seeing what it's like. Then
you'll hear him in his walk saw in
broken China talk, with a smile.
"Golly I'll live here alice while"
Washington City, whose streets are |
filed with galloping bronze steeds.
has erected no memorial to the men
who laid out the city, Jefferson and
Pierre L'Enfant. The omission is
conspicuous: Gas Caesars pageant
shorn of Brutus' bust, Did but Of
Rome's great SON remind her more. "
1t is reported that the residence of |
the late William @. Whitney in New
York City has been sold for 80 OOO.-
0O0-the highest price ever paid for q
private dwelling in this country. The |
Single Takers think it would he
equitable and just that such residence
as this should be entirely untaxedl
The laboring man is not ground
under the wheel of monopoly as much
as he was. Powderly has good gov.
eminent Job; Debs now gets $40. 600 a
year as railroad official; Sargent is
commissioner of Immigration, and
Coke who marched his rag.tag army
to Washington ten years ago is presi. !
dent OF steel company which Dor.
rowed $4,000 on mortgage. !