Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-26
SlzN'@|


nhtcneu EN- out yeC-Rnllhuelphla
Ledger.
"what do you think OF my death
scener' asked the actor, "well, II
seemed to me It came a little too late
In the piece" was tho reply.--Chlca.
go Evening Post,
Daily Guide to Flattery.-it you
meet a woman who strongly suspects
that she Is a beauty, ask her earnestly
II all her family are beautiful.-Bal.
timore American.
Dorothy-So Jack kissed you, ehi
Did you give him any encourage
mentG Judia--Encouragementl Say,
| guess you don't know Jack. do youl
PHILADELPHIA Ledger.
Anything To Blame II on.--Mother
-Iohnny Jones. did you get that aw.
full cold out skatingf Son--Mother, |
think l caught It washing my face
yesterday morning,-Judge.
The Empress of Chlna-what Is
that strange noise l hear5 The Min.
lister OF the Intarlor--It Is the bottcm
dropping out OF the New York stock
market, your maJesty,--Llfe.
Stimulatlon.-Blggs-I understand
that young Briefly has taken up tho
law since be married. Dlggs-Very
likely. l understand that his wife
lays It down to hlm.-Chlcago News.
willie-Pa. you don't get chestnuts
until after there's frost, do your Pa
Except In the case Of a tarce-com-
edy. my son. Then the chestnuts come
first and the frost afterward.- .--Phlla.
delphia Press.
A Physicians Blunder.--Dr. links
Il suppose you must have lost some
Of your patients by being away for
90 long timer DIR. Kent-Yes, con.
found Ill Ten or dozen Of them got
well,-Boston Transcript.
Small Consolat atlon.-The Landlady--
I'm afraid Mr.. Slopay has forgotten
what a large bill he owes me. The
Star Boarder-No. he hasn't. He said
only yesterday that he wished he had
money enough to move.-Judge.
Miss Pepprey-I suppose that was
your valet saw with you yesterday.
Cholly-My deah Miss Peppwey, don't
say "valet." That word. you know,
Is not used now as Miss Pepprey
Well, then, your Keeper
Miss HowJames tat the operal-
Hasn't she marvellous techniquef
Mr.. Cahokla-Yes, but she doesn't-er
seem to know how to manage II
gracefully. She gives it sort OF kick
when she turns around.-Chicago Trib-
une.
my graciousl What a crush!"
gasped the shopper; I'm nearly
dead" Permit me. madam" said the
fioorwalker, politely, ito call your at
tentIon to our undertaking department
In the basement" nt."-Philadelphla Led
ger.
Mr.. B.-My dear Mrs. Croesus. may
l not put your name down for tickets
to Professor Pundlt's course OF lee
lures on Buddhism Mrs. Cob, by
all means! You know how passion
ately fond am of flowers. Pick.
Me-Up.
Mrs. JIlson--Forelgn newspapers
contain many advertisements Of titles
for sale by members of noble families.
Old Jilson-They should advertise for
sealed proposals from American heir
esses; this Is leap year.-Detroit Free
Press.
Laying Down the Law.-Lady Zen.
tertainlng friends little glrD-Do you
take sugar, darlingf The Darling
Yes, please Lady-How many lumps7
The Darlington. about seven, and
when I'm out to tea start with cake.
Punch.
Mr.. Milyuns-Now, Tommy, you
must go to school and work hard.
Why, look at mel l started without
cent, and now I'm millionaire.
Tommy-Yes, l know; but you can't
do it any more. They all have cash
registers now.-Ex.
Living at Swamphurst, eh? That's
up the river, isn't it2' yes" "Are
your grounds near the water| "WelL
sometimes they're as much as six
inches from the surface, and on rare
occasions there's no water on them at
all."-PhiladelphIa Ledger.
A Shrewd Wife.-MrS Greene
hope you trust your husband implicit
ly? Mrs. Brown-Oh, yes, indeed; but
wouldn't have him know 1t for the
world. II he were aware of my per-
feet trust in him he might be tempted
to take advantage of 1t, you know
Boston Transcript.
Exercise for Both.-Does your wife
90 in for athleticsT "Um--yes, in a
way. She went our yesterday to take
exercise; said she was going to walk
up a long hill" "And she didT "Noi
she got into the dry-goods district and
ran up long bill instead. You car
easily see that am the one who was
d."-Kansas City Journal.
A Count of Boundless Nerve
Count Nottapenni-Las' night l glva
ze leetle heent to Miss Roxley Eat
would like she should marry wiz me-
Ascum-And did she give you any en-
couragement? Count Nattapenni-I
do not know. She simply say to me
"What kinda za nerve food do you
use seT-Philadelphi Press.
Roundabout Proposal.