The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1904-06-14

Quences of his actions, and you will avoid that ex-
cess of control in which SO many parents err.
Leave him wherever you can to the discipline of
! experience, and you will so save him from that
dollhouse virtue which over-regulation produces
in yielding natures, or that demoralizing antagon-
ism which it produces in independent ones.
By aiming In all cases to administer the natu-
| raj reactions to your child's actions, you will put
an advantageous check upon your own temper.
The method of moral education pursued by many,
we fear by most, parents, is little else than that of
venting their anger in the way that first suggests
itself. The slaps, and rough ~shakings, and sharp
words, with which a mother commonly visits her
offspring's small ofenses-many of them not Of
lenses considered ntrinsically-are very general
ly but the manifestations of her own ll-con-
trolled feelings-result much more from the
promptings of those feelings than from a wish
to benefit the offenders. While they are injurious
to her own character, these ebullitions tend, by
alternating her children and by decreasing their
respect for her, to diminish her influence over
them. But by pausing in each case of transgres-
sion to consider what is the natural consequence,
and how that natural consequence may best be
brought home to the transgressor, some little time
is necessarily obtained for the mastery of your
self; the mere blind anger first aroused in you
settles down into a less vehement feeling, and one
not so likely to mislead you.
Do not, however, seek to behave as an utterly
passionless instrument. Remember that besides
the natural consequences of your child's conduct
which the working of things tends to bring round
on him, your own appreciation or disapprobation
is also a natural consequence, and one of the or
dained agencies for guiding him. The error which
we have been combating is that of substituting
parental displeasure and It's artificial penalties for
the penalties which nature has established. But
while it should not be substituted for these natural
penalties, it by no means follows that it should
not, in some form, them. The second
airy kind of punishment should not usurp the place
of the primary kind; but, in moderation, it may
rightly supplement the primary kind. Such
amount of disapproval, or sorrow, or Indignation,
as you feel, should be expressed in words or man
ner or otherwise; subject, of course, to the ap-
prevail of your judgment. The degree and kind
of feeling produced in you will necessarily depend
upon your own character, and it is therefore use
less to say it should be this or that. All that can
be recommended is that you should aim to modify
the feeling into that which you believe ought to be
entertained. Beware, however, of the two ex-
tremes, not only In respect of the intensity, but
in respect of the duration of your displeasure.
On the one hand, anxiously avoid that weak i'm
pulsiveness, so general among mothers, which
scolds and forgives almost in the same breath. On
estrangement of feeling, lest you accustom your
child to do without your friendship, and so lose
your influence over him. The moral reactions
called forth from you by your child's actions, you
should as much as possible assimilate to those
which you conceive would be called forth from a
parent OF perfect nature.
CONCLUDED NEXT WEEK.