The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-05-06
BELL MAKES LESS NOISE.

To the Editor Of The Washington Times:
The notoriety which I have uninten-
tionally gained by having my name ap-
pear in the columns OF The Times in
loaded headlines, and heralded as the
only man in this city who has ever dared
to call the attention Of our esteemed
Commissioners TO the fact that while
there has been provision made to regu-
late every other imaginable offense; from
expectorating in public places to regu-
lating the hours when the little news
boy may be permitted TO cry his papers
on our streets. there has never been any
regulation governing the boisterous ring
ing of church bells at unreasonable
hours, was unsought, but may result
in good.
From my position as labOrer in one of
Uncle Sans departments, I find myself
to have been suddenly thrust upon the
pinnacle Of fame, and hailed as the
hero of the hour" But there is an
old saying that blood will tell" and
being a descendant of the old Dewey
stock, that strain of blood in my veins
naturally impelled me TO emulate the
daring deed OF Cousin George at Ma
nina Bay. by accepting the challenge
thrown out to me by that valiant Knight
Of the Bell Rope, who so rudely awaken
ed me from my dreams of the coming of
the millennium with Peace on earth,
good Will TO men," so regularly and un-
tremendously at 4:30 o'clock each morn
ing, 10 the stern realities of life, | made
a sudden resolve 10 do or die. Hence my
letter TO the Commissioners | have been
informed by my friends that there is a
movement contemplated TO induce the
President TO call an extra session of
Congress to pass an act granting me a
medal of honor in recognition OF my gal
liant conduct, and as there would be
nothing OF a political nature in such a
move. there is a possibility that he
might consent to the proposition
/ am very happy 10 announce to the
public through your columns that there
has been a marked diminUtion I'm the
volume of sound sent forth by the bell
complained of. within Jhe past few days.
and sweet peace now reigns over the
cow pasture IN which my home is located
down here in the southeast Possibly
the lusty bell ringer has gone into a
physical collapse. resulting from his
strenuous" endeavors TO place the bell
in a condition to occupy a position at
the St. Louis Exposition beside the
famous Liberty Bell. and has been sent
TO a sanitarium 10 recuperate, and the
bell rope intrusted to Aen;Ier hands. or
there may have been some cases Of ner-
vous prostratiOn, In this vicinity, re-
ported TO Father Mathews. and he has
kindly consented to discontinue the
ringing of the 4:S0 a. m. bell for a sea-
son. However it may be, the members
OF my household, 'housekeepers. brother.
etc, etc." arise each morning from our
peaceful slumbers and gather In our
milk bottles from our doorstep together
with the beautiful bouquets of flowers
deposited there by our grateful neigh
bOTS.
Some people there are who are born
great and others have greatness thrust
upon them. l believe l an one of the
latter. so made through the kindly
Offices OF The Times, to which / extend
my sincere thanks for the interest II has
displayed in bringing my grievance be-
fore the public.
VIM. Z. SHELMIRE
1875 b Street southeast
Washington. May 4