The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1904-02-01

Copyright, 1904 by Joseph B. Bo~les)
An American scientist a few months
ago published a list Of lost arts but
failed 10 include the long neglected art
OF keeping youngsters out Of mischief
The free circus games Of classic an
tiquity solved the problem for 500 years
They had nothing 10 do with man
slaughter in Greece. little or nothing IN
nine-tenths Of the Roman provinces.
Most OF the country towns were too
poor TO indulge in gladiatorial festivals
and Unidentified themselves with aero
battles and geological side shows. The
Roman lanistea, or dealers in wild
beasts, had agents in every seaport
town and customers in every city, from
syria 10 Spain. The citizens insisted
on free shows.
The supply Of that demand cost the
Government millions in standing
arenas. but saved billions in standing
armies II had 10 feed and train all
the monsters it could get hold of, but
even a few boxes full of dragons would
have been cheaper than barracks full
Of Dragons; patches Of grizzlies less
expensive than battalions Of grena-
titus. Trajan and Hadrian often
turned loose a hundred trained lions in
one day: but they kept the world quiet
with twenty-five legions. They knew
that they had 10 choose between recre-
ations and revolutions, between menag-
cries and mutinies. All in all, theirs
was a choice Of lesser evils
Their committees Of free popular en-
tertainment have given way TO asso-
Citations for the suppression of popular
pastimes. and military expenditures
have increased twenty-eight times De
Ia
the bread Of toll digestible, millions
having yielded 10 the temptation of
Pudding with cOnspiracies. Blue laws
have provoked the red flag of anarchy.
And as sure as the burden Of the war
tax win finally become intolerable. the
alternative Of classic Rome will have
to be resdOpted; but reform, like char
ity. should begin at home.
We should try the geological recipe to
Danish the tedium Of our flresides. Pre-
senting q family with a cage full Of
parrots might keep the too cOnViVial
pater familas more at home. Master
Tom might find cOOns more entertain
ing than cards JocHo might prevent
5ags.
The station agent Of a little Texas
border town a few years go had
pair Of caDuchin monkeys left on his
hands. and finding time between trains
rather dull. decided to adopt the weaz-
OF old boxes in the rear Of his freight
house, and with q dimes worth Of wire
nails and 2, little blue paint he con-
triveC to rig out quite an attractive
looking ape asylum. Besides hay
stuffed dOrmitory and a big feedi-g
trough. the prisoners had a water tank
a hOrfzontI bar. q grapple swing and
several playthings that could be rolled
around the sand-coyered ground floor
Thus encouraged, the four hanIed &C
rObat5 acted" while daylight lasted,
and IL applause can reward accom-
plishment had no cause for complaint
The platform Of the little freight depot
was crowded with sightseers. Traffic
improved. shippers would go out of
their way to patronize that special sta
ton and get an excuse for enjoying the
free show In rainy weather the
youngsters Of the neighboring school
house. who used TO pass their recess in
vacant tobacco barn now MADE a
rush for the monkey house and
agreed to respect the bylaw against
smoking. There was an anti-rowdy
regulation. too, and young hoodlums
behaved TO propitiate the proprietor Of
the free circus. The only malcontent
Of the settlement was the owner of a
Mexican restaurant, with dramshop
annex.
Before the summer had lasted a
month loafng in the Mexican's den
had almost stopped. To accommodate
the crowd the free museum was now
and then shifted to an adjoining wood
she'd where an amDhitheater of cord
wood offered a chance for -eserved
seats Visitors came from distant
ranches for the special purpose Of see
ing the capuchins act, and applause
before long led TO imitation. The at
fractions Of the woOdshed tabernacle
We're completed by all sorts of gymnas-
tic apparatus. Even the Mexican then
recOuDed his losses his youngsters
peddled cakes and soda water. There
was a slight risk of more tonic bever-
ages. but the station agent could quote
the regulation against the sale of in
toxicants.
A geological museum with a temper
ance restaurant could be made a factor
Of sorm in hundreds of American
country towns. A free exhibition of
boa constructors would save the natives
from the risk Of more distressing scr
penis.
But for purposes Of domestic redemp-
ton even q cage full of white rats
would often give desired results. There
is no end of fun watching the tricks of
the interchangeable little foragers, and
they>nultiply like patriots in pension
Office
The speckled varieties of pet rats are
as active as weasels and bold enough
10 tackle competitors ten llIneS lnelr
size. II permitted TO run about the
floor they have no hesitation to charge
musltrats and even rabbits, three or
four bouncers sneaking up from differ
ent sides and then making a simulta-
neous rush, on Won Moltke's principle
Of converging march routes.
An amusing phenomenon is the dane
ing mania Of pet cranes. that can be
bought on the Rio Grande for 81 apiece.
Standing listless on one foot. the Amer
lean cousin Of the stork might be sus-
pected Of paralysis. but suddenly start
ing as from dream viii flop his wings
and dance about in q circle then for
ward again like the leader Of a minuet
or even backward. with Zigzag hops, all
the while turning his head left and
right. like star actor challenging ad-
neirafi0n.
Cranes are hrst-class frog catchers
and almost equally adrOit mousers. The
UrsDspicious appearance Of their long.
st'cklike legs temDts rodents to APP
p.oacn them within a few feet. and
merely 70 stop IN surprise at the first