The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1904-03-04

pure Is uoSu lOI lue pdulS IShSOn
that man with a bleary eyed jag is
said to be suffering from acute alco-
holiem. The expression is more eu-
phonious to a fastidious ear.
1t was evening. Lower Broadway
was deserted Outside OF the large Of
flee buildings the janitors sat on easy
cane seated chairs smoking aromatic
pipes and peacefully contemplating
life. The sidewalks were cool and wet
from their evening wash. AL occasional
beiated office boy, burdened with mail,
made his labcrious way to the post
cflce. All was darkness. All was
quiet. The building seemed to be sunk
in heavy slumber after the feverish
activity of the cay.
In the Office of Poorly & Co., work
ing under a green shaded electric light
Philander Poorly was facing a crisis.
He had surveyed the road to wealth.
particularly noting the inviting little
! short cuts that are frequently used.
ms campaign was carefully arranged
inc time was propltious, ard instead
OF shrinking from the crisis 20 DELHI
erately winked at it with as much
ROBUSTNESS as he had in his system.
Philander put few finishing
touches to his ledger and turned again
to the profit and loss account This
account showed heavy loss Phil
ander smiled at this in a superior kind
OF way and patted his waistcoat like
a patrician. 1t would seem that there
was more to this thing than appeared
on the surface. There was Poorly &
Co. were about to become bankrupt
Faster 6, Son owe us $50, 00O," men
toned Philander to himself; "their
check is due tomorrow morning. AS
soon as get my hands on that money
III hide it away and then apply for
bankruptcy proceedings. And then
there will be wedding he added as
joyful afterthought.
That night he dreamed that he saw
Dame Fortune looking his way with
the love light in her eyes. Philander
considered this a good sign. but it is
obviously natural that any woman
who is courted overmuch is bound to
become a tantalizing and capricious
coquette.
The next morning PhiIander started
for his office with an anxious cast of
countenance. This was his first fail
IRE, and he was as nervous as very
young chap who has taken a secret and
solemn VOW to kiss the maiden of his
choice. AS he got off the car at Cedar
street he was already, in his fevered
imagination. cashing Faster & Sons
$4,000 check and adding Miss La
vinia's $4,000 dot to this comfortable
little nest egg.
I'VE will entertain society consid-
erably," he promised himself, as he
daintily and gracefully walked along
to his Office building
A writing, screaming, strenuous,
blatant, pantomimic and convulsfve
young newsboy suddenly infected him
self upon the scene. He seemed to
have lungs of leather and a throat of
resounding brass. His face was en-
purpled with the intensity of his sweet
cries. The look of hysterical concern
on his face was an unconscious work
Of art, and he noised himself abroad
even as a group of college children
bibulous with beer.
"Extra!" he howled, big failure
Wall Street"
us some one else bankrupt, too"
10 n iV11c aif
as he bought a paper.
Easter Sc Son bankrupt" he read.
merry Hades!" he calculated. why,
that knocks the stuffing clear out OF
my little scheme"
He tottered up to his Office and
found one of his creditors waiting for
him.
81 understand that you are pretty
hard hit by Faster & Sons failure" re-
marked this nosy and irritating credi-
tor Would you mind letting me look
over your books for few minutes?"
Philander thought of those bankrupt
books which he had so adroitly cooked
up. He picked up a bottle of black ink
and hurled it with unerring aim at
the buckle of the creditors belt
"I'll show you," howled Philander as
he strategically followed up his adj
vantage with bottle of red.
And if drop OF ink can make mil
lion think, 1t cannot be logically dis
puted that two bottles of ink will
make one single creditor exceedingly
thoughtful.
That is how Poorly G. Co.'s failure
came to be reported by the CONNER
cial agencies the other afternoon.