The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-08-30
SECOND
They May be AL Right, but Beware of
Third and Fourth.

There was one an energetic and
cultivated youth who. falling In love
with a beautiful and accomplished
young lady. called at her residence one
morning. and inquired very politely
what he should do to make himself
worthy Of her. His character. he SAID.
had been described by experts as fair
to medium, allowing the usua dis
oun He was of a cheerful and Tu-
steal disposition. collected dried sea-
weed and postage stamps. disliked ca
per sauce. and possessed an annual
income Of eight hundred pounds.
Nay" said the damseI. having ais
tened attentively to the recital Of these
virtues. this is all very we'll as far as
it goes, but what / most admire is
personal beauty"
So the young man thanked her kindly
and went away and bought cosmetics
and things. and read carefully through
a book called How to be Beautiful:
BY One Who Has Done It." And af-
ter a months treatment he returned
to the maiden and said: BE good
enough to cast your piu and intelli-
gent eye over me. 1 have adopted the
suggestion you threw out in u con-
~versation of the 18th ultimo. and 1 fat
ter myself that I now present a neat
and gentlemanly appearance" And in
a glowing passage he invited her to
name the happy day.
Nay" said the damsel; hut on sec
ond thoughts I have changed my mini.
What 1 admire even more than pc
sonal beauty is physical strength"
And the young man thanked her very
kindly and went off to make himself
strong.
He bought expensive developers, and
took cold baths. and went to bed ear
ly, and got up every morning at 8
o'clock and refused potatoes and took
nasium: and at the end Of the month
he returned to the maiden and said:
BE so obliging as to cast you limp
i'd and ObServant optic over me-. L
have followed your Instructions. and /
fiatter myself that in many ways I
now recall the Farnese Hercules"
AND with a voice hoarse with emo
ton he spoke in high terms of
st. Georges Hanover Square.
NAY" said the maiden. 1T is true
that your biceps is considerably en-
larged, and you could doubtless, if you
so disposed, fell an OK with a single
blow, but mere strength has ceased to
appeal to me. What I really dote on
is b~er-rains!"
oo liz yOullS Iildh SlIl IL" IN
thanking her this time, for he was be-
ginning to get a little tired of the con-
tract-and set to work to become a
ripe scholar. He read Shelley and
Browning and Ruskin and Emerson,
and after a year of acute depression
and incesSant headache, he returned to
the maiden and said: Il should esteem
it a personal favor if you would allow
your soft and sagacious orb to rest
upon ME for a space. / have followed
your instructions and 1 fatter mystelf
that in the way of culture L am now no
small potato And quoting lightly an
approximate passage from The Ring
and the Book he embarked upon an
ELOQUENT and impassioned eulogy of the
registry office, to which he proposed to
lead her at as early a date as would be
convenient.
Stay" said the maiden, as he Of
fered his arm. Il grant that you are,
as per advertisement, more or less a
combination of apollo, Hercules and
John Keats, but I have again changed
my mind. The man who aspires to my
heart and hand must possess a certain
indefinible je-ne-sais-quoi. Acquire
this desirable quality, and then we'll
see about it. In the meantime, fare
WELL"
And the young man went off as be-
fore. But this time he neither thanked
her nor followed her instructions. but
having regarded her with cold dis
pleasure. proceeded at his best speed
to the residence of a certain Miss Jane
Smith, to whom he proposed then and
there, and shortly afterward they were
married by the Rev. John Smith, father
of the bride, assisted by the Rev. Thos.
Brown, and the presents were both nu-
merous and costly.
And the young lady who changed
her mind so often is still a spinster of
this parish. and likely to remain so.
Moral.-Second thoughts are best,
but third n fourth thoughts are sim
ply the drug on the market.-Punch.