The Port Gibson reveille., 1904-10-06
WAS IT ARSON OR ASSAULT
What Happsnedw When Some Whisksrs
Went Up IN Smoke.

Wnat when Some WhisktrS
Went Up In Smoke.
He was not large man, but he had
the most elaborate and ambitious set
OF whiskers that had been seen on
broadway in many a day. They were
thick and curly, and afforded a com.
plete anibush behind which the proud
proprietor remained In hiding, and
thus absolutely concealed his real ap-
pearance and his hopes.
The wind was blowing almost a
gale, and the man in front Of him stop
ped TO light a cigar. He drew from
his pocket q small box containing
matches Of the sort that defy wind.
rain hail and lightning once they are
ignited. Nothing can extinguish them
after they start to burn until the fire
consumes all Of the chemicals on the
end OF the tiny stick. And these
chemicals are so literally applied by
the manufacturers that each match
resembles a tiny gong-beater.
The man lighted his cigar and then
threw the fuse away. AS he threw
It the other man he OF the luxuriant
whiskers. passed. The fafuing torch,
resembling a young comet and prepar-
ed to deal destruction as II travelled,
landed in the wilderness OF hair be-
hind which the other man was con-
cealed.
The whiskers caught fire and be-
gan burning fiercely. Famed by the
strong wind, the confagration spread
rapidly in spite Of the fact that the
owner Of the beard was paving at his
face with both hands, and was yelling
as only man can yell whose property
Is on fire when he knows that he is
carrying no insurance.
The burning man danced and howl
ed while the cause OF the trouble
looked on in amazement. The air
was filled with the odor OF singed hair,
and a crowd collected under the be-
lief that there was a mattress factory
in the vicinity. A policeman run up
and elbowed his way through the
crowd.
In the meantime the fire had been
axtinguished. But the beautiful whisk-
ers had become history, and only
smoking ruins marked their former
site.
The disfgured man, certain that he
was out OF danger of death, attacked
the man who had thrown the match.
The other prepared to defend him.
self, the policeman interfered, and
both men were dragged to the police
station.
There the matter was explained to
the sergeant.
Il demand that you lock that man
ip," said the man whose whiskers
had been burned.
"on what charger" asked the SER
seant. He has apparently set your
ace spinach on fire. Do you want to
accuse him Of assault or arson?"
Il refuse to be arrested" said the
'ther man. "Whiskers are not prop
'rty. This guy will look better with
,ut hair on his face. His whiskers
we're foolish. anyway. He ought to
i've me reward for burning EN-"
mo property?" yelled the other.
Why aren't they property? Didn't l
row 'em? Why, I have spent IS
ears raising that beard and now this
nan sets me on fire and look like a
inged cat | will sue him for dam
ges.'
See here" said the sergeant you
etter compromise this affair. II you
ne for damages you will have to ap-
ear in court with the ruins OF your
marked Exhibit A Bet
sr get a smooth shave and let your
life see what you really look like"
But who will pay for the shaver"
sked the man as he rubbed his fng-
rs over his face.
II Will" said the firebug. Il guess
am responsible to that extent. Any
ay will hire barber to run a lawn ,
ower over your face in order to
ltisfy my curiousity as to the per-
NAL appearance of a man who wants
hide himself from the view Of his
sighbors."
AS they departed in search OF a
lrber shop the sergeant remarked c
himself: c
Il don't think the man was guilty {
either assault or arson. l think Il
e proper charge was mayhem
pliers Weekly.