The Greeley tribune., 1904-06-02
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Bilious Mr.. SatiriCuS
Continues toComplain
s..2'.. -. . :. - = !. :. 's''*@'s

Every little while l get a letter
with our postmaS:er'S red stamp
across the face of it reminding me
that in order to avoid mistakes and
secure prompt delivery ! should have
NV street and number included in
my address; but for the present / am
eglecting TO do so. When man
| has lived in one state, one county,
one town, and On the same street
and in the same house for thirty-four
years, 1t isn't necessary, or at least
shouldn't be, and il there are any
kids at headquarters who do not
know who | am and where live, l
guess they will have to 5nd me out,
And that reminds me OF something
Else IL the same line. used to
| know every man, woman and Child IN
| Greeley: llow | do not know one in
( ten, and Furthermore, it appears that
not one IN ten knows me. And it
| so happens that while | am very
| fastidious person in my apparel. dress
in the height Of fashion, 20 clean
shaved and part my hair in the mid
die, yet when l am around home and
have on my gardening togs stranger
would hardly take me for the n H.
lionai1e that ! am, only prodding
dandelors, moving the lawn and
Juggling the hose about, merely III
aid of an impaired digestive appar.
atus Thus as a consequence l am
frequently taken for some hireling
employed to do such menial tasks.
So much so, in fact, that some two
weeks since, right in the middle OF
the house cleaning season. naughty
looking woman spoke to me over the
fence and tried to get me to beat her
carpets. I hat was bad enough, but
it wasn't a circumstance to what
happened to me little later. l had
forgotten to order any meat in pur-
chasing our supplies the day before,
AID at the last moment, at 30 in
the morning, my wife made the dis
coyery aud came to the door in dis
tress 10 inquire about it, with tie
result that, not stopping to don my
usual faultlesss attire, | hurried
down town after some, in person, for
| knew If l called up by phone at
that late hour 1T would be O'Clock |
before we had our dinner; and you |
see as at one time we worked for |
living at our house, we still dine at |
II and sup at 6; and, | hesitate to
admit it, we do not "lunch. these |
are vulgar ways, l know, but when
ones early education Is neglected it |
leaves life taint in the habits OF
the unfortunate. Well to make a
long story short, the butcher, who
does not know me very well-any- |
way, he had never before seen me
dressed like an honest man who earns
his bread and meat by the sweat of
his brow, he evidently took me for
some poor ontcast from the beet
fields. Thus when / Informed him
that l wanted twenty or twenty-five
cents worth OF good beefsteak, he
looked at me In lofty disdain and
showed me some ready made slices of
round, cut off well down towards
the hook. Of course l might have
known that live stock having been
very low for several months, and two
or three more shops, also, having
recently started in the place, in the
very nature Of things i could not ex-
pect to get good steak bigger than
cats ear for quarter OF dollar,
but as there are but two Of US and
we are not heavy meat consumers at
that. l had not supposed myself
criminally guilty In asking for a
quarter 5 worth of good steak. When
l told the man, in humble tones,
that hook wouldn't anwser my pur-
pose, he next showed me piece OF
midritf or flank and asked me II that
would suit; and finally, when l
turned to a fairly good piece OF sir
loin that lay upon the next block he
blandly informed met that he could
MT cut me piece off of that for
quarter. l may as we'll admit that
my first thought was that meat
trust had probably just been organ
lied in Greeley, but on investigation
l was led to believe my treatment
wholly owing to my inexcusab,e neg
lect in the matter Of dress; for when
l repaired to another shop where the
proprietors had known me long ago,
when / was poor hayseed and
looked that way all the time, they
hoped around lively and put me up
what l wanted.
And, speaking of trusts, l wonder
| if ua ra noM ON iouinu flo laui 1 m ta