davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
Makes Life Worth Living.

When say that Aph- Ro- Dox makes
life worth living | mean all that these
words imply
IT you are sick and discouraged about
your health, what happiness have y0u2
II catarrh poison permeates your system
and impaiTs your vigor and vital energy,
what enjoyment have you
Ii your nerves are deranged, yoar diges-
ton impaired, your blood thin and poor,
your stomach, bowels aud kidneys out Of
order, what pleasure is there in life for
Won
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
9be Times Daily Short Story.


have waited and received the funds
from a different source
Grant smofhered his Indignation and
apologiaed for his action SIR Thorne
took out MS pocketbook end, as it was
necessary to send to the Office for
change. laid 1T on tie table When
the account had been adjusted he let
the club and neglected to take np=the
pocketbook. Grant saw it and took
charge of IT Half an hour later Mr.
Thorne drove again TO the club door.
Grant who was expecting him. was
looking ont Of window and recog-
nized in the coachman one he often
used himself. Instead Of responding
at once to Mr. Thorme's card the young
man went ont to the eoachman
I want YOU to do me favor and
I'll make It all right with you he said
to the man Go into the club, right
past the doorkeeper and into the re-
ception room There yon will find the
gentleman you drove here Demand
your fare Accuse him Of trying to
beat you BE violent and abusive
The eoachman knew that rich fee
was in store for him and played his
part well When Grant entered the
reception room the man was shouting
II want my fare. and I won't be
beaten out Of t.
Il left my poczetbook here. tell you.
and IS soon as l get It I'll pay YOU
"That won't do. Give me my fare. /
say
"What Is the trouble. Mr. Thorneg
asked Grant politely
"When ! left here my pocketbook
was on that table This rascal
Don't be alarmed. Mr.. Thone,p In
terrupted Grant "AIl articles left in
the club are deposited Ut the office.
but there's a good deal Of red tape
about It. Meanwhile | shall be happy
to supply the amount
Mr. Thorne declined the favor with
dignity, and al q wink from Grant the
coachman recommended his abuse.
Faces Of inqnisitiye clubmeH appeared
at the door. Mr. Thorne finally sur
rendered and Grant paid the Indebted.
ness.
BE seated, ar Thornev be said
after tile eoachman had left Il VIII
80 to the Office and inquire for your
! pocketbook
Leaving the ROOM, he soon returned
with the missing article
Il an pleased. Mr. Thorne, he said
SO have bad ma opportunity to make
some reparatiou for my fault III re-
spect to your daughter bid you q
very good evening
He turned ON his heel and was le0v
tng the room when the other stopped
him
"AIr. Grant, he said, II have beer
very harsh and ungrateful thans
sou for your loan % my daughter al
well as 70 myself. ana beg that yor
viii drive home with me and dine witt
us. that my daughter may also hav,
an opportunity 70 express her graft
tudea
That was the beginning Of marked
attentions on the part Of Mr. Grant L
Miss Thorna
HESTER q. MERIWETHER.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
to
His Senses

lgrsinall
Before the window Of a railroad tick
n ofiee at Chicago stood d young lady
fery daintily dressed, very feminine
and with the manner Of one not used
b travelling alone She was fumbhng
u her hand bag for her pocketbook. Be
hind her, waiting his turn, was a young
inan, also OF a very genteel appearance
Isn't it in your pocketg" suggested
the young man deferenhally.
Pocket ! haven't a pocket
"NextF' cried the unfeellng ticket
Vender
Two 10 New York. said the young
man, producing two twenty dollar bills
aud securing two tickets.
Permit me, he said to the girl. TO
pffer you this ticket You can send me
the amount when you reach New York.
Come, we have but two minutes"
Without waiting for reply he seized
per belongings. carried them to q draw
ing room car and paid for her seat;
Ahen gave her a card, Reginald Grant,
M club This done, he went Ia
his seat took up paper and began 10
read.
It was not long before the porter
Banded him card, Miss Edna
Thorne," and said the young lady de
sired to speak to him. Grant dropped
bis paper and hastened to her chair.
"Yon gave me no opportunity to
thank you. she said Your offer to
pay tbs fare Of a stranger taking the
risk"
There is no risk he interrupted
know lady when ! see her. Rather
A consider it compliment that You
Should accept the favor from one
ehom YOU have never met before"
This completed the Introduction aud
the two passed much time in chat
Burning the trip When they reached
4he Grand Central station at New York
cariage was waiting for Miss
Thorne Mr Grant put her ii. lifted
bis hat and went his way
Jonathan ThoFne. the father Of tho
young lady, when Informed Of the cpl
sode WINS much disnleased with hi.
Slaughter action
You should have returned 10 your
anele's, be said got what money yor
seeded from him and come hy another
Train
Edna explained that Il WAS al dont
S. quickly that she had no time t
ennsider but this did not appease he
father whose ideas Of the relations d
goung people Of opposite sexes wer,
Father Parisian than American.
The next evening before dinner Mr.
Grant was sitting Ii the coffee room
II bis club when he received a card
npd. proceeding 10 the reception room
ct the father Of his travelling com
onion
! have come 70 pay my daughter
ebtH said the gentleman coldly "
0uld have preferred that she Shout,
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07

Portland, Ore, April Another in
dictment In connection with the land
fraud ring was made public when
Daniel j. Tarpley a lawyer Of Salem,
Ore. waived arraignment before the
United States district court on a charge
Of conspiracy to defraud the govern
ment Of lands. Mr. Tarpley was re-
leased on $4,000 bonds.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
RspubIIesn MaYor d omaha.

Omaha Neb April Z Complete re-
turns from South Omaha show the
election OF Frank koutsIy, Republic
an for mayor and fye out Of six Re
publican aldermen. The Democrats
elected i city clerk An increased
number OF towns In the state voted for
high license, tie exceptions being
York Alliance Broken Bow Elm
Greek Teeumseh Ansley. David city,
Bassett Bonkleman and Ravenna
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
Cures Nervous Catarrh,

Catarrh OF the stomach, bowels, kidney
and bladder, also catarrh Of the head.
throat and lungs Aph Ro Dox heals the
inflamed and rrltated mucous membrane
and stops the dIeharge and cures the dis.
ease.
Frequently catarrh Of the stomach and
bowels is simply an extension Of catarrh
OF the head The continued dropping Of
the discharge from the diseased mucous
membrane carries contaglon to the lining
Of the digestive organs Thus the poison
spreads throughout the system.
1t is this catarrh poison that Aph-Ro-
Dax eradicates from your body. IL
cleanses the whole system and restores
health
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07

AIbany, \. r., April Z The nomina.
ton Of + NJ Baker as railroad com
missioner was confirmed by the senate
by n vote Of 30 yeas to IS nays Sen.
ators Bracket and Elsberg. who voted
a year ago with the Democrats to de.
feat the nomination voted with their
Republican colleagues, and Senators
Townsend aud Ramsherger, Demo.
Gratis, also voted with the Republicans.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07

san Diego. Cal, April IA million
dollar deal III Alaskan coal lands has
been consummated between the Pa
cihc Steel company Of this city and
a syndicate owning the property, The
Janus comprise 10000 acres and are
situated from seventy to eighty miles
west Of Mount st elias and about
tifteen miles inland from the coast
Of Controller bay The purpose is to
employ the coal for making coke to be
used in steel plant 10 be erected by
the company here.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
Canal Commission Goes Z Panama.

Colon, April z The United States
canal commissioners have gone by spe-
cial train 70 Panama 10 greet Presi-
dent Amador The dock laborers here
are in state Of unrest due to the de-
cline in the price Of gold The ques-
ton Of ratio between gold and silver
is still pending in the legislature.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
Dr.. CaIman's Aph-Ro-Dox

Gives you strength and health and hope
instead Of illness and Encouragement. Ii
gives you new and better stomach, it
regulates the bowels, the kidneys and the
bladder, and most important Of all, it neut-
rallies and finally destroys the catarrhal
poison which Is primarily the cause Of all
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
DR.. CALMAN'S
APH-R0-D0X

these troubles, and restores the system to
it's normal strength and yigor
wish every man and woman in this
city could read these words and believe
them as / believe them, because | know
them to be true Think what ii means to
you Il yos. are weak and ID any way run
down Think what it would mean 20 be
restored to your original yigor. Aph- Ro-
DOx Is q
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07

New York. April III. Pierpont
Morgan and his daughter, Miss Nor
gan. have sailed for Liverpool on the
steamship Oceanic, this being Mr..
Moreans annual vacation trip abroad.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07
Anolher okIahoma aanI. lii.

Guthrie, Okla, April Z The Citi-
zens bank at Mcleod, Okla, with a
capital Of $4,000, has closed its doors
as 8 result of the failure Of the Capital
National bunk, IN which It deposLted.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07

washington April 7secretary Hay
and Senior Quesada. the Cuban min
lister, today signed a treaty Of exuadi-
ton.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-04-07

London, April q Thomas McC0yern,
Nationalist, member Of parliament for
the west division Of Cayan, ireland
has died at Cavan.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25

we will go over the prices Of vegeta-
bles. Here is my list for you to look
at. figure that l have made a saving
of 80 cents over you in the week.
Ninety cents won't buy house and
lot, but it is 80 cents saved"
'Let me tell you something" replied
Mrs. Bowser after looking over the
list. you have paid Is cents more
than / did on your potatoes, 10 cents
more on cabbage, II more on rhubarb,
cents more on tomatoes and cents
more on canned corn and peas. The
total is So cents.''
Woman. you have become cross
eyedv' he shouted.
Don't worry about my eyes, Mr..
Bowser. Here's cents too much on
maple sugar, cents too much on
pickles, cents too much on honey and
cents too much on a can of cherries.
That's Is cents more. Wait minute.
Your meat bill totals up $4.2O, while
mine is 40 cents less. Your groceries
total $6.4O, while mine were only $50.
The butter and milk are 1925, which is
35 cents in excess of mine, and while
I got coal at 1928 ton you seem to
have paid 81. Mr.. Bowser"-
Don't Mr.. Bowser mer' he inter
rupted as he walked up and down and
gestured. in my week Of running the
house 1 saved $3.50 over you, and there
are the figures to prove it."
"But how can theyY'
Because they do"
"But they prove that you spent about
that much more than l did, and the
butcher also got three times as much
bone off on you. Pm taking your own
figures for it, You said you COULD
Eyes, I said I could run the house
cheaper than you could, and by the liv-
ing lingo 1 have done it! knew it
would be this way-you'd knock me
out if it was possible thing, and you
are trying your best"
"But here are your figures"
Figures be hanged! You have got
possession of this book at night while
1 slept and altered the figures!'
"Why, Mr. Bowser"
"You didn't want to give in that I
was better fnancier than you, and
YOU
At that moment the. front door bell
rang, and Mr.. Bowser answered it to
find a tramp at the door. 1t would
have been in his play under the cir
cumstances to throw willie" down
the steps and over the fence, but in
his financial confusion he gave the man
a dollar bill instead of 4 nickel and
shut the door. Two minutes later
when the tramp was out of sight, it
flashed over him that he had made a
mistake, and he stood in the hall and
waved his arms and jumped up and
down and tried to get off swear words.
Not one would come, however, and
after hammering the wall with his fists
he made a sneak upstairs and left Mrs.
Bowser and the cat to smile at each
other. M. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25
BOWser Runs House
He Charges Mrs. B. With Being Poor Financier and
Takes Hold of Managing Things Himself For
Week and figures Up Profits

hearted vampire and limited that he
had never given over 1900 pounds for
a ton he was told to buy elsewhere.
He spent nearly half day and visited
five different yards before he left his
order All this was on the outside,
and he didn't think it necessary to say
anything to Mrs. Bowser about it.
What he did say when the week was
up was:
Nov, then, We'll see how we have
come out. l don't want to hurt your
feelings, but if there is balance in
my favor over you l shall have to
speak about it. Haven't we lived just
as well during the past week as any
during the year?"
Eyes, l think So" she admitted.
Eve will take the meat first Dur
ing your last week we paid for at least
three pounds of solid bone. Last week,
under my espionage. we didn't pay for
three ounces"
"But you are mistaken. Mr.. Bowser
have saved and weighed all the bone,
and there is a little over four pounds. .
ut can't be-
"Come down to the kitchen and see. "
"WOman, don't fool with me! If you
have gone out in the back yard and
picked up four pounds of bones to
weigh off against me it will be the
worst move you ever made in your
lifev'
''The bones are fresh. and the cook
will tell you that she cut them out of
your meat day by day"
eve will see to that presently" he
said as he looked troubled, and the cat
grinned with delight, "and meanwhile
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25
Santa Re the source Of knowledge.

Santa Ee the Source Of knowledge.
A chaplain assigned to a remote
army post in New Mexico organized a
Sunday school for the children of the
soldiers. Until the catechisms came he
had to ask his own questions. He de-
cided to begin with the Lords Prayer.
"How many" he inquired the first
morning, ''know the Lords Prayer"
A prolonged silence. Then one little
girl timidly raised her hand.
"Only one who knows itp' exclaimed
the chaplain, in genuine surprise. "You
may repeat it, Anna"
Anna repeated it quietly and cor
rectly.
"That was very nicely done. Where
did you learn it!'
"In Sante Fe."
Every good. Now, Margaret" to the
next little girl, "can't you say the
Lords PrayerY'
mo, Mr.. Gardiner"
twelve years old and don't know
the Lords Prayer
ooh, but Mr.. Gardiner" said the
child. eager to set herself right, Il
have never been in Santa Fe."-Phi,a-
delphia Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25
"Then let me ask yo' if Colonel Bunk.

"Then let me ask yo' if Colonel Bunk.
er is Spaniard?''
"Of cO'se not
"Then how could 1 be a De Soto7
I'm blamed by these jealous minded
people because I'm not as big man as
he was, and yet he was dead and bur
led a hundred years befo' my Americans
grandfather was bon into the world
How could / discover the Mississippi
river befo' / was bon? How could
be great man a century and half
befo' | opened my eyes on this sinful
world? Answer me that, suh-answer
me that?'
"Y0' couldn't do it, colonel-yo
couldn't possibly do itv' answered the
squire.
"Shorely couldn't, and yet the peo-
pie of this county are throwing me
down whenever the opportunity comes
They probably reckon that this last
turn will drive me out, but l can tell
yo' that they will be disappointed. I
can be thrown down, but the grass
don't hold me long. It's like fighting
the wah over again, though do be-
lieve the Yankees gave me better
show than I'm getting now. I'm keep
ing quiet for day or two, but the
enemy may prepare for surprise
pretty quick.
Got an idea, colonelY'
II have, sQuar' Do yo' know that
there are 2,149,62S,49S grasshoppers in
this country? DO yo' know that ever
last hopper is on the jump for fo'teen
hours day? Do yo' know that it
takes as much power for grasshop-
per to jump as for man to raise a
shovel? What if that power could be
caught and stored up to run the ma
chinery of the country? What If
Colonel Bunker was the man to do it?"
"Do yo' mean it, colonel?" asked the
squire in whisper of awe.
"As suah's yo'r bon, suh and now,
being yo' have kindly asked me what
I'll take, / don't care if / do step
around to Joe's place with yo' and wet
my mouth with whisky-jest dampen
it, yo' know, to keep the cotton OUT
nj. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25
Copyright, 1904, by c. B. Lewis

Copyright, 1904, by c. B. Lewis.l
RT cane upon Mr.. Bowser all Of ..
sudden. Nj. Bowser had come
home seemingly pleased with the
world at large. but at dinner he
happened to observe that there was a
good deal Of bone in the steak, and as
he kept his eye omit he said:
Mrs. Bowser, have you and the
butcher formed a little trust against
me?"
'Do you mean the bone in the
steak Z" she queried.
81 mean nothing else. The Internal
robber has made you pay for at least
three pounds Of bone to one Of meat"
1T couldn't be. only got two
pounds in all, and I'm sure we have
meat and to spare There is consider
able bone, but it just happens So"
Eyes, it's always just happening!
have paid that butcher thousand dol
lars in cash the last year for back
bones, thigh bones, shanks and ribs,
and ! tell you it has got to stop. If
was running this house do you suppose
tradesmen would dare take such liber-
ties with me? Not by long shot.
They know their customer. When a
woman goes into a butchers shop
looking as humble as a cat and asks if
they won't please sell her tough old
steak with a lot of bone in it, she'll
get what she wants. I'll take that
bone over after dinner and hit the in
fernal rascal in the head with it!'
'I'm sure do the best I can," quiet
" replied Mrs. Bowser.
Eyes, l think you do" he admitted,
"but, nevertheless, the fact stands out
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25

tive. Many sudden
deaths are caused
by it--heart dis
ease,s pneumonia,
heart failure or
apoplexy are often
the result of kid
ney disease. If
kidney trouble is
allowedt advance
neutrality-suspicious.
II 11l III -
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25

like knot on log that you are not
close buyer In other words, you are
no financier. 1t isn't your fault, and
I'm not blaming you for it, but often
feel that something ought to be done.
If only had little more time
you'd run the houses"
II would, and I'd make such saw
ing as would open your eyes. Where
you save cents l would save ShillingS,
and we'd get more and better for our
money to boot. When / look over
your house bills of Saturday night
I'm amazed at the way you have been
stuck. l don't always speak Of it, be-
cause what's the use? But you are
not to be trusted with money, and
that's a fact
IF you are so smart, why don't you
take hold and run things for a week
and give me an object lesson" she
asked as the cat came in from the
kitchen and nodded to her to ''sass
back"
Mrs. Bowser, I do not claim to be
smart as you call it, and there is no
occasion for this conversation to drift
into acrimony. l am only what l am
but that means that / can do more
financiering in half an hour than you
can in a year. No woman has head
for finance. When you read that
Hetty Green or any other woman is
worth $200,000,O00 you just set it down
that she has a man with business
head back of her. You ask why /
don't take hold and run things and
give you an object lesson. | will do
so. l will take hold tomorrow morn
ing and run this house for week, and
if l don't beat your figures all to
squash then my name is not Bowser."
Mrs. Bowser held her peace as to
further discussion, but the cat sat up
and gurgled in his throat and said to
himself:
"Some one is going to have a sur
prise party week from tonight, and
I'll bet dollars to cents that it won't
be Mrs. Bowserw
Monday morning Mr.. BowSer took
hold He got up half an hour earlier
to do it. In twenty minutes he had
left his orders at the butchers and
grocer's and returned smiling, but he
did not tell Mrs. Bowser that he had
had row with both of them and been
called crank by each.
During the week he changed butch
ers four times, changed grocers three
and ordered butter and milk from
three different creameries AS for the
baker, he had to change every day.
He had a way of calling them robbers
and cheats and scoundrels, and Of
threatening them with dire pains and
penalties, and in reply they told him
to take his custom elsewhere and be
hanged to him.
1t had become necessary during the
week to buy half ton of coal for
the kitchen. He had meant to make
saving Of so cents on that, but by the
time he had called the coal man flint
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25
"Yennie Dear"

Wy yu max my heart to yump,
Yennie dear?
Ay ban yust fulish chump,
Yennie dear.
Yu ban sweet lax summer rose,
LAX a qveen from head to toes,
Ay ant fit for you, Ay s'pose,
Yennie dear.
Yu ban guide the whole day long,
Yennie dear;
Yu ant never du no wrong,
Yennie dear.
Ay ban tuff old lumberyack.
Taking drenk yust ven Ay lax,
Getting slugged and smuggling back.
Yennie dear.
But ven Ay ban tenk of WI,
Yennie dear,
Ay ban all made over new,
Yennie dear.
Eff Ay have yu at my side,
Eff VI ban my little bride,
Ay skol let desc fallers slide,
Yennie dear.
Oh, Ay need WI in my life.
Yennie dear;
Eff Ay have an angel wife,
Yennie dear,
Maybe Ay can learn to be
Part lax angel tn, yu see
But it ban big yob for me.
Yennie dear.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25


tack the vital organs, causing catarrh of
the bladder, or the kidneys themselves
break down and waste away cell by cell.
Bladder troubles almost always result
from arrangement of the kidneys and
cure is obtained quickest by a proper
treatment of the kidneys. If you are feel
ing badly you can make no mistake by
taking DR.. Ki1mer's Swamp=RoOt, the
great kidney, liver and bladder remedy.
1t corrects inability to hold urine and
scalding pain in passing it, and over
comes that unpleasant necessity of being
compelled to go often through the day,
and to get up many times during the
night. The mild and the extraordinary
effect of Swamp-Root is soon realized.
1t stands the highest for its wonderful
cures of the most distressing cases.
Swamp-Root is pleasant to take and is
sold by all druggists in fifty-cent and
one-dollar size bottles. You may have
sample bottle of this wonderful new dis
covery and book that tells all about it,
both sent free by mail. Address, DIR. Kill
mer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y. When
writing mention reading this generous
offer in this paper. Don't make any
mistake, but remember the name, Swamp
Root, DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and the
address, Binghamton, N. Y, on every
bottle.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25
Colonel Bunker
He Would Have Been Born a De Soto
it He Had Been Born Soon
Enough.

~ was midafternoon, and Colonel
Bunker had just emerged from
- corner drug store when he ran
up against Squire Dawson and
exclaimed:
"'Deed, squar', but 1 am happy to
see yo'-mo' than happy, suh."
Same to yo', colonel replied the
squire as he extended his hand for a
shake. "Yo' are looking $685."
"1'm about the same, squar'-about
the same. Hope none of yo'r family
are ailing"
'None, thankee. One Of my work
ing nevis is off his feed, and was
going into the stoh for powders.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25
The Cause of Many
Sudden Deaths.

There is disease prevailing in this
country most dangerous because SO decep-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25
She Was Lucky.

did Miss Gillington's wedding to
Count Graft de Swag turn out to be a
happy one?'
Eyes, old ellington said it turned
out better than any other marriage of
an American heiress and foreign
nobleman he had heard about. The
count deserted her the day after the
wedding. Baltimore World.