davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24

no use. Toxic. me boy" says to him. IT
know what you are up against now only I
didn't know it's polite name was phios' ply.
In America we calls one kind pipe dreams,
and anodder kind crankism. Dey Is ali de
same ting. Also, Toxic, dey leads to de
same kind of wuZziness. Cut it all out 1t
comes from bad liver. You are not taking
enough exercise, me boy. Put on two over
coats and come wit me for a ten-mile fast
walk down de post road Nobody on cart
ever speculated on de nature of tings while
he was In a good sweat from open-air exer-
else. Dere isn't a man In a bug house in de
void dat ever rode horseback or played
golf sawed wood regular. Tings dat
isn't real wasn't made to be speculated on.
Walk around block to get rid of seeing a
ting dat can't be seen. Dey may be all
right for mugs dat can see double but for
plain. sober taxpayers de woist dat can
happen is to snarl up his linking machine
about tings dat isn't"
But" says Toxic. butting In, 'ff we do
not study philos ply, bow can We know
what is?"
"Tutr l says. you philosophers are not
trying to find out what is; you are rubber
ing to find out what isn't. Dat way-to b
bug houser
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24

de house singing Dutch opera, and playing
sweitZer tings on de piano till wondered
wedder we was on de Mort river or de
Rhine.
What's de matter wit American music?
I wasn't de only one who was asking dat
question. for after de form profesh hai
sung all de Leber Augustines dere was In
dere box of tricks. and de long-haired piano
Charley had knocked de wires out of de
machine. and dey had all got deir good
little old checks for long green, and gone
off for DER frankfurters and beer. de gents
gets togedder in de smoking room, and
says dat for de real ting in music de songs
Of Broadway beat any band dat ever come
over from Chermany.
Mr.. Paul says he had de greatest Ameri-
can Songster off de stage right dere; and II
de gents wanted to hear de real article he'd
try and oblige. Dey all says "Sure!' and
| Hear, hear!' and Mr.. Paul stops me pull
ing de plugs from pints. and says, "Chames,
he says, "oblige de company wit your origi-
nal plaintive narrative opus obligato In six
flats and four sharps. entitled When de
Days Work Is Done"
Say, OATS de song I used to sing to me
own kiddie, as well as to little Miss Fannie,
when de noise couldn't get de sand man to
come. It's all right to put kids to sleep wit.
but dat isn't de effect 1t has on groWn-ups.
I'd sing 1t to you now. only de cops would
run me in for creating a disturbance. Dis Is
de way de woidS goeS-if hasn't told you
before:
And where in de wod dye tlnk Oh goes
wan morning early O1 arose.
AND OF puts working close,
Up, up, up, up,
To Hundred and Ninay-sixt street"
Den de song goes on to tell how de fely
hasn't de price of a ticket to ride back
home in de mint ward by subway or ele-
waited, so he walks home, and when he gets
dere it's time to start back again; and so
all de time he isn't working he's walking to
woil1 and back, and never getting a chance
to eat, drink or go to bed, he saves all his
wages until he gets enough to buy brown
stone front and run for alderman.
Well, say, after about de fort verse when
de gents was next to de chorus, and could
sing 1t in time and tune, we were having
more of music gale dan they had upstairs
in de music room, and more fun, too.
I knows dat de gents had a good time
from de size of de tips dey yielded up to me;
and right dere was where | seen silk deer
floating my way l had more dan de price
all right-but l didn't get de lid.
When I sees Duchess, after de ball was
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24

over, she says, WAS de house on fire down
in de smoking-room, or was dere only muir
der?"
ION your way. woman!" I says. st was
me singing"
"Indeed?" she says, hoisting her eye
brows, Il taught it was a riot"
DE gents didn't .tink so, smarty," says.
How do you known" she says "Dey
may said polite tings to you, but dey
couldn't been amused by a distoibance of
de peace"
"Could't deyw I says, getting hot In de
collar. "Well, says /. 'do you call desc
tings polite remarks or are dey long
husband can outsing any Cherman spiler
dat ever come over on ten-dollar steerage
ticket, or not? Maybe was only distoib-
ing de peace. but If l was, somebody else
paid de fine."
OATS what said, being stuck on me-
self. I'll never be anything but a farmer If
! live to be as old as one of Mr.. Depoo's
youngest stories. Duchess, she kind of felt
for de long green was making such g
front wit, she kind of annexed It, and she
kind Of sunk 1t in her jeans-and dat was
de finish of 1t for yours truly.
iii keep dis, Master Cheems." she says,
You are so foolish a young man dat You
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24
Fourier
Of ort,,,,e

Copyright. 1904. by Frederick A. Stokes Company
inflated Lucette hit me harder than she
deemed with her words
She has sharp tongue. What said
she?'
Gabrielle's color heightened and she
smiled.
That with you in such peril my wits
should have been specially sharp; yet that
very peril dulIed them
There Is no such peril. 1 have no doubt
as to the end. See, have first the
chance that the governor may not discover
our presence here until it is too late for him
to force us to yield before my cousin gets
up from Cambria. Next, we have means of
resistance for some hour or two at worst.
Then we have the means to get from Maln-
court should he drive us out. Then again,
we have this permit to pass the city gates.
And besides. We have yet to see that he will
dare to resist me when he knows that 1 am
here in Bourbon's name. / have no fears of
the issue; my distress is that you have had
to endure so much
but don't you know we women like such
trials, Gerard, even if our hearts are not
stout to face them as yours? 1t is for you
1 fear-yet not fear: l have too much conf
dence in you. Besides, there is always a
last resource
1--WE are very far from any last re-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24

to woik dat st seems queer she isn't asham-
ed to toin such easy trick.
But was going to tell you about me fre1
de Jap valet. Dat mug spends most of hli
time reading book by Billy-no, not Billy.
but anodder Emerson named Ralph Waldo
/ don't tink he was in de minstrel line like
Billy; anyway when de Jap give me one OF
his books to read 1 didn't see no good end
man jokes in it. It was funny. all right:
but Toxic tells me dat it wasn't meant to
be funny.
"What is It, den?' 1 ask him.
''It's philos' ply" he says.
'What kind of a flim-ham game Is dat2'
I says.
he says right off de reel. like he knew what
de woids meant.
''You didn't have to read no book to do
datT' 1 says. things" l says. lis tings,
and dey stays tings wedder you speculates
on 'em, or buys 'em right out, and puts 'em
in safe deposit Anyway, it's a farmers
game to speculate. / heard Whiskers say
dat de only way to do is TO pay for what
you get; put up no margin, but pay de
whole price, and den you don't care IL de
market for de tings goes down. All dat you
has to do is to wait for II to go up again.
things must go up sometimes, or dere would
be no place for 'em to go down TO. Don't
speculate, Toxic" l says to him, for he is
a good sort, and I like him. Take an
Americans advice and don't speculate, no
matter what dis mug Emerson says. Don't
take de bait in your mout while de bait Is
still on de hook. Take de bait off de hook,
and den 1t will taste better and you won't
get such a sore mout.
You mistake" says Toxic DE tings
dat philosophers speculate about, or on, is
not material tings; not real tings, nor tings
wit substance
"Oh," L says "I tumble now. Ghosts, eh?
WE'LL has known mugs dat speculated on
ghosts. and dey is de easiest frens has to
locate-dey is all In de bug house now. In
de 'sylums. See? Cut It out. Toxic. You
is a good boy and can drink glass of beer
like a real American. Cut out de ghosts.
you'll be seeing tIngs dat isn't dere. Have
noting to do wit philosophy IL OATS it's
game. Opium is easier, and you have de
smoking of it. I'll loan you me copy of
Billy Emerson's song book It'l do you
more good, ard when you have Joined de
woids I'll teach you de tunes and Wen give
a concert to de help"
Toxic looked like he would go anodder
round wit me. and see could he get his Ideas
into me capo but [ discouraged him. It's
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24

defense. Dubois. but we will not force the
lighting from our side.' was Gerards re-
ply. This is Mile. de Malincourt's matter
more than ours, and her will must prevail
at win fall, my lord" was the answer.
bluntly spoken.
'"Then we'll try something else that will
succeed. I am quite resolved. Let 1t be as
I say"
so much for a woman's leadership"
growled Dubois to Pascal as he was start
ing with Babillon.
Get those arms, man, and we may have
yet tough bout or two here" but Dubois
shook his head discontentedly. Pascal look
ed after him and shrugged his shoulders,
as he muttered to himself: Your husband
never sees the same light in pair or
bright eyes as your lover. Save me from
marrying, say /, Pascal de la Tour.
A soft laugh broke in on his soliloquy. and
he turned to find Lucette looking at him,
her face severely demure but her eyes dane
ing with quizzical light.
Are you then in danger, monsieur she
asked in tone of deep solicitude.
ANY man might well be at such short
range as this he answered. meeting her
gaze and laughing. so you heard me?"
II came to ask what had been decided?'
''Babillon has been here'-and he told her
what had passed.
"Ah. you soldiers always want to be kill
ing something or somebody" she answered.
Gabrielle is right. She is always right.
She will be able to escape to this hiding
place at any moment and can lie hid in
safety till the storm passes. Men never
think woman can be right except when
she says ditto to what they may decide.
At this moment a soldier came hurrying
to them.
Another messenger has arrived from the
castle lieutenant. We managed to mislead
him long enough to get him to deliver his
message He reports that the hunt for the
fugitives at Crevasse has proved fruitless;
the men have returned from there to the
castle empty-handed and he was dispatched
at once to ascertain whether anything had
been seen of them here
''Well?"
1--WE were sending him back with n mes
sage that all was quiet here when his sus-
picions were aroused and we had to detain
him like the rest"
Did you question him.? asked rascal
locking very grave.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24
CHIMMIE FADDEN.
The Wisdom of Woman and Unwisdom of
Philosophers.
WRITTEN FOR EVENING EDWARD W. TOWNSEND.
Copyright. 1884, by E. W. Townsend)

Dere is Just one ting I wants and can't
get. A silk dicer. lid, bonnet, see? Mr..
Paul has lots of em, but his Jap valet
grabs EN- off of Mr.. Paul as fast as dey
gets little on de blink. and never gets
look-in on a lid of dat kind.
It's funny about dat Jap-and all Of EN-
dat he'd RAIDER wear a silk lid dan hear of
anodder wallopng of Cory Pat Mccain by
Fujamama. Mr. Pauls valet has a name
dat would loose every toot in your head to
try to say, so 1 calls him Toxic to save
dentist bills. WE'LL Toxic he grabs off all
de silk dicers dat Mr.. Paul calls in, and
what he don't wear himself he passes out
at profit to de odder Jap Wallets he runs
wit. So never gets a chance at 'em. But
l taught had a cinch on one de odder day.
Miss Fannie she gives a music gale-whats
dat! A musicale? Well, If OATS de name
of de show let 1t go at dat. but 1 ALWAYS
taught it was a music gale. It's more
like 1t. Anyway. Miss Fannie she gives
one Of 'em. and dere was profesh all over
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24

Yes, monsieur. He would say but little;
and when the man had gone he turned to
Lucette. THE beginning of the end
mademoiselle. We shall soon know which
plan is right the soldiers or the womans s.
They carried the ominous news to Gerard
who with Gabrielle.
1T had to come some time said Gerard
Thank God it hasn't come earlier. Have
all in readiness, Pascal, to close the house
the moment there is any sign of the dukes
APPROACH"
And when all had been made ready
against surprise they waited, all filled
with anxiety for what was to follow
They had not long to wait In less than
an hour the men on the lockout reported
the approach of a strong party of troops,
and Gerard and Pascal hurried away to de-
eide upon the next step.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24

are not to be trusted wit money. I sus-
pected dat you was making tips down ders
when L bears your voice going up. up TO
de Harlem, so l just jollied you to make
you show de stuff; gave you a con talk to
make You flash de goods so / could get my
pretty hands on 'em. SO foolish a person.
one TO say flim-hammed out of his tips.
must not be let to keep money: so your
dear wife will hold de stakes for you till
you get wise-as wise your wife"
LII man wasn't so easy made a fool OF by
a woman he would have an easier Job prov
ing how much wiser dan woman he Is. If
/ had kept all de tips Duchess has touched
me for, IL had sailed away half of de
Doodle l has lost to dat woman because [
gets chesty when she is only getting wise.
I'd have a bank roll so big dat It would
be a shame to own 1t. l suppose dat de rea-
son dat n man is made to tink dat he IL
wiser dan woman Is to make II easier for
woman to woik him. Woman isn't built to
woik very hard. and as she has mostly to
woik man. de good Lord made him so easy
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24
Science for the YOUNG

'a1lace Irwin, in Saturday Evening Post.
Thoughtful little Willie Frazer
Carved his name with fathers razor.
Father, unaware of trouble
Used the blade to shave his stubble
Father cut himself severely
Which pleased little Willie dearly
81 have fixed my fathers razor
Do 1t cuts.'', said Willie Frazer.
Mamie often wondered why
Acids trouble alkali-
Mamie, In a manner placid,
Fed the cat boracic acid.
Ehereupon the cat grew frantic.
Executing many an antic.
"Ahv' cried Mamie, overjoyed.
s'Pussy is an alkaloid!'
Arthur with a lighted taper
Touched the fire to grandpa's paper.
Grandpa leaped foot or higher,
Dropped the sheet, and shouted ..FirePs
Arthur, wrapped In contemplation,
Viewed this scene Of confiagration
''This,'' he said. confirms my notion
Heat creates both light and motion"
\ Wee, experimental Nina
Dropped her mothers Dresden china
From a seventh-story easement,
Smashing, crashing to the basement.
Nina. somewhat apprehensive,
Said: This china Ia expensive.
Yet II proves by demonstration
Newton's law OF gravitation."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24
An Uneasy Seat,

Flom the Baltimore Herald
Pa" said Tommy, opening the paper,
who sits on the seat of WARP"
mo one" responded papa; because the
seat of war generally has a tack in it."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24

time.
At a word from the officer every musket
was leveled point blank at him. but he re-
manned perfectly cool.
'Who are your" demanded the officer.
"But whoever you are, you are my prison
er. and IL you move my men will fire."
s'Your men can fire If you order. mon
sieur." answered Pascal calmly. ''but it
will be quite useless You are covered by
round the place where his soldiers now
showed themselves For your own sake 1
urge you to avoid bloodshed.''
.sBy God, III not be trapped like this"
cried the officer furiously, and drawing
his sword he rushed to cut Pascal down.
II am unarmed and you are too brave a
man to strike me-" said Pascal very quietly,
as with folded arms he awaited the at
tack. looking him steadily in the face.
His daring had its effect, and his oppo-
nent's arm dropped even as he was in the
act of striking. and the next moment he
and his men were surrounded py three
times their number
II owe you an explanation, monsieur"
said Pascal. 'rhose you seek are here in
MaIincourt, and it was impossible to allow
YOU to obey your orders. We are in strong
force. and save for this ruse we should
have resisted to the death. AS 1t Is, no
harm will come either to you or your men.
On that you have my word as a soldier.
Won carry news back to the castle. You
will give me your word not to resist or
try to escape, and will not ask you for
vour sword Your mems muskets we have
had to take, as we are short of arms
The officer made a great effort to initiate
Pascaps coolness but he was very young,
and this humiliation before his men was UNI
endurable He had to struggle for self
control and well nigh broke down.
II give no parole" he said. his lips trem-
bling.
II respect your courage" said Pascal,
with both dignity and feeling, land I beg
you to spare me the distress OF resorting to
the only alternative"
mot the only alternative, by God" cried
the officer desperately, and turning sud-
denly he hurled himself at the soldiers who
stood between him and the door,
But they were tough campaigners much
too wary to be caught by surprise, and In
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-02-07
THE VALUE OF CHARCOAL.
Few Psupls Know How Useful II Is In Preserving
Health and BeautI.

Nearly everybody knows that charcoal
is the safest and most efficient d'sintectant
and purifier in nature. but tew reaIize ~
value when taken INTO the human system
for the same cleansing purpose.
Charcoal Is a remedy that the more You
take OF ii the better: it Is not a drug at
all. brt simply ahsorbs the gases and I'M
purities always present in the stomach
and intestines and carries them out OF
the system.
Charcoal sweetens the breath after
smoking. drinking or after eating onions
and other odorous vegetables.
Charcoal effectually clears and improves
the complexion. it whitens the teeth and
further acts as Il natural and eminently
safe cathartic.
1t absorbs the injurious gases which roll
lect in the stomach and bowels: it dfsin-
fects the mouth and throat from the roi-'
son of catarrh-
All druggists sell charcoal in ono form
or another. hut probably the best charcoal
and the most for the money is in Stuarts
Absorbent Lozenges: they are composed
of the finest powdered Willow charcJa!
and other harmless artiGeptics IN ,ahleS
form. or rather i'll the form or iatSe'
pleasant tasting lozenges. the charcoal oe-
Jig mixed with honey.
The daily use of these lo2enges VIII snoh
tell In a much-improved condition OF me
general health. better CONJUNCTION. swest'i
breath and purer blood. ana inc osaut.
of IL is that no possible harm can result
from their continued use, nut. on VI" co"-
trary. great benefit.
A Buffalo physician. in spgaklnR oil INC
arts Absorbent Iozenses 70 an patlel.s
suffering from gas in stoinach ahd poWu
els, and to clear the complexion anu purify
the breath. mouth aud throat: ] also be
lieye the liver is greatly benefited by the
daily use of them: they cost but . cents
a box at drug stores, ana, aitnough IN
some sense a patent preparation, !eti
believe i get more and better charcoal an
Stuarts Absorbent LozenRes than In any
Of the ordinary charcoal tapieN. --
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-02-07
O M REPORTER BARRED
FROM THE WHITE HOUSE
She Refused TO Submit to New RulcE
Prohibiting Her From Ming
ling With the Guests.
SPECIAL.

REPUBLIC SPECIAL
Washington. Feb. 6.-There is much
Comment here over the action of Mr.
Loeb. the secretary of the President. in
barring from social functions one of the
best -kn society reporters of the cap
ital. Miss Margaret Wads. For years she
has chronicled the social doinSs of the
capital. having always been a welcome
guest at the White House.
At the recent reception to the Judiciary
a new rule was put in force compelling
the women reporters TO remain IN one
part Of the White House. When the Post
representative stepped out of the pre-
scribed bound she was informed by an
usher that she must remain IN her place.
and at once protested.
There must he some mista1te. she,
said. Such a rule was never before IN
force. and it is altogether unjust. 1t can
go about among the other guests"
The usher said no more. and the: re-
porter vent her way. Presently she was
again told by the usher that he had been
Instructed TO ask her TO remain in the p.e-
scribed place.
THAT | cannot do" was the replv. Al
though I am reporting the reception for
my newspaper. / am here on the invitation
Of .hc President. the same as the otf or
guests" and she still refused 10 he bound
in her movements.
Next day Secretary Loeb ~telephoned tho
editor of the Post that its society reporter
would no longe he received at the White
House. When asked to explain. the editor
was invited to come to the secretarys of
fee. To this invitation the editor rep'iet-
If You have any communication 10 make
| will receive it here.
This appeared TO close tho incident as
no explanations have been made. and the
Post 70 longer sends Il reporter ia the
White House.
The St. Louis Republic. [volume] (St. Louis, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-02-07

mary ~ He has a Ia,pa rensrtnjre Of pieces
which no one directs just as he does, and which
are not played %nywhere as they are rendered
Creatore has a peculiar way of getting music
out Of his men.
The conce,, TO he given by tho Y. NJ. c. A..
Orchestra. conducted nv A / Epstein, is I'M
der the auspices Of the Educational Club of
the Ralph selicw Institute. This club is COM
p IG,rniss Of o. 10 ONO yonG ig- men men d H1srn ,dnsi York nor 'h NJ
m, ,he a association u uhf S Gfsn'I AND MD rr re- slnes ave- at
nuss. THURSDAY, February IL Tickets may ~
;sinh n, IN centraI Era5cb !" az Rol1man's
music store. The following is the programme:
sokedo Oioorish OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
kIolin o, rem Ssnbee Consul NsntsIssoSn
symphonsnans der Neuen Welt IAlIes- r,
sopsr re; Ap prsnm, .Dy TSsii
49,, Miss BESSIE Gillespie.
Janice Meredith Gus,:n
49,.
Barney Gilmore returns to the Imperial in
Kidnapped In New York The Baby Clark
49, A. ~ 60 80. 49, nran,or 800
Irer If II N Mann !, g1eE Ro3 ,Y', T,nh lal 10 a. x feas,
nocent' namely. stealing sl1.Go from the club
bur Mr.. poolev ,Mr' Gii,nore's chanscter1 aiJs:
her because he loves her. Under the name OF
NMhafS Ment4h she 5ecomes ths governess OF
Elsie. 4 eniiu 9t 1onn Sisrk' "a WeaItny man
n',nE on tne iiIason f',Nel- Sisnor Mazlotto.
= ha,n =" n AnoMs .he bran
Cons; 'isms ;Sdaanrh anu aisGo.ets Mary: lie
rsaeais ner ,den,l.S ana s,e rs dlscharged;
nnsn ne mn ms asJonipnCe. hnown as ,Birdy'
b1iuen' Rianap baDy Elsie IN central PARK,
TO be disSuisec as a Iaporer; After a long
blenan and Elsie in a kidnaner.s sdenes, % N
the East Side; rescues the child and returns
fa q ~ t n crime on poooIevi T fain ssor Irie sn5 10
H. ~ ,ic rt III Snr Hg s,oiy III ~
III ~ g "a, 49, anu Doo.e,; Ime
nopieiiia, anu nv Doiu ae aIIes'ed' Jill
hi"'e VIII hhuou"ee s .e" sohss.
a.. p,gr,d IIa-o, win l., ~. u
iNaeSen IaGo Will 10 the drama at
Havlin's. The. most exciting episode in the
W. % ,"e nH . me see"nu act