The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-07-31
I Barring carvings, wnterbugs, dogs colony
izcd byffleas, and other peoples chickens


III our front yard, there is nothing which
4 SO riles the comtlander-ln-chef us that
! class OF prosperous tnortals Whom s lle
4 scornfuly dcsignates as me w 70 ks
8 By this term, she means people OF more
or less humble origin, who, by dint o.
4 their own energy, sci abncgat Ion or good
| fortune, have raised themselves above the
/ common level To tho position OF compare
/ two aftluencc.
i Wlth2the pious, but naughty woman who
1 dominates my home. argument & galhst
lfthis within or l,ers-at least from ille--Tis
/ as useless as the souglng of the WIND
Through the&loles In tlie rusty tin. gutter
over our Kitchen. Size will have none
| OF II. or rather she won listen TO 5it.
/ over and over again; we have fought
this same old fight about parvenus, but
nothing can say In defence Of the kdes-.
5pised new folks carries any weig INT.
1 In mo one secs Il democrat Of democratic
"a Grover cleveland. William Jennings
Bryan. Alton q. Parker type, VINO .is |.
tooth and nall for the itlasses AGAINST tile
classes, And 50 it's but natural that
should 5clamor for the equallty o. az
linen and illuminate against the ar .Nsl43
cracy M, favor or the socially DOWNRIGHT
1 den MD jority. But this outs no figure
withthe dame who balts my inouse-traps.
Whenflt comes TO a ase OF the shabDy
genteel= the seedy patrician--yersus the!
prosperous plebeian. or he thru W ex &
po'wliite. tile shabby sentee gets cr5yo i'
every clip. N y VI
~ Not loss than fifty times q week We
IvecrSnround to this toplc-t hat Is TO say,
every2time we see a nelgibor who enjoys
some luxury which we lack. q nd IN ere
are alas, isany such nciehbors. On such
occasions i Invariably give vent TO that.
highly original but pessin,istic remark !;
Iris money that makes the mare co.
Each time 4 scntcntiously declare this
Wise uttarancc, / natter myself that
have launched superb epIgram, but the
enjoyment ofsmy penetration is confined
exclusively to myself Not IAN inch do I,
nudge u the pettcoated III g lbral IA who
takes the liberty OF differing aaWl It'll ms
SHE goes In for blood Nv hole slau ghter3
pens OF the pure article. sFf3 ss 5,,s5
You can talk yourself hoarse IN the;
throatIas senerally !. dos ,,s,; 81 e
do that prosperity can't wash out corn+'
mon blood my more than bread crumbs
will clean grease spots. u Fave heard YOU
stand Ell The front gate and wear people:
TO q fraxxle BIT boastlnkS about the pedi-!
gree of that plague Il Ike 1T fox-terrfcro f;
yours. but lust let me 10 much 40 get In,
a word edgeways "a bout 100 sfsnil ", ana
on your kazjppe you Deep do = WI ID
your sneaky hear. you \ are a snoh ~ ohI
anobs. Haven't II seen you spend an hour;
bringing the coRversat ton L around 10 u
poir,t which would enable you TO- say'
something about that grandfather Of,
yours IN the Revolutionary army And
don't know as well as YOU, that the old
ma NJ never would have Joined the Gontln-
entals-or any other army-if Gcorgs.
N:ashington's rebels hadn't been stealtnE
his hogs 80 fast that he was bound TO-
make some move to protec his property.
And wasn't he the first IN the scufde for
land grants? al sSs IN S
Good FAM w why man, n you worship
At yet Ill waysBon% the sly. But beinG AZ
!. some % your ii folks are slight y on In
polish n sadly IN need Of "a ndpa perinS and
screaming for a social lubricant and be-
ing & az 4 one 4 Or two your ancestors
were hardly n hat the nisgerss would call
qualify } folks you seek solace ~ derld-5
Ing those who. Ike yssif can noas. fors
bears o. whom anyone might justly be
proud .3s @
AZ Il sas, neither wtnsiess angel nor
a reinearnated-job.f this N lid style Of ar-s
gum ent usually has me foamlnE ~ the
mouth In one minute and three secondss
especially when m y g WI Erosenit tors are
with the 1ncasly Off holding bun cf from
tho Queen Bees tribe. 3.sS s3sss
n But instead OF showing temper--lf 5hAYe
any>-I invariably resort TO, what 4 q CAL
my inimltable satire. "Dear, ga tlf
you are going to shut the IN ew fol KS on
altogether and not give any Of the se!iss
seleyated a chance to swing themselves tn-s
to decency. what In the name Of 1000 ness
a re- YOU going to do when the crop Of
tloroushbreds dies HI out h They are
Sspavined. rawboned looking lot already
and long since began To- Get prett " Ct 81
gy around I the fet locks. md swha e 4
worse; thegwhole drove looks hungry for
an Sarmful OF fodder or q binful OF oAts.s
They can't foreve keep a-gol s by = uni
mating on tho elicious memory OF their
perlwlgged grandfatfersssr respect bllity, or
the thought o. their manlcured grand
mothers patrI1Sln 1oopsklrts. One must
eat, but no legally authorized bill OF fare
consists OF grandfathers and grand mo OF
ers, especially those whose chief virtue
IS in the ratio OF their advanced decompo.-.aE
sition. 81 @3s III
And IL one Is to obey the statutes re-
garding the shoc king exposure OF pc rso NJ.
one must wea clo thes. Blu Y perl VI IS ana
shoopsklrts do not meet the require ments
OF the Virginia code, nor are they !! com,
forting w7len#the Thermometer stands at
zero q; 6
2 1.-THE same old. old mummlhed retort,'
yehemently replied the scion Of the Office 4
holding Virginia nobility which must
originally have been5 embodied IN the .
ihierogyphics on the Egyptians ODE " ks
And 1t can be answered IN ten WORDS. !
II we 81 Tie spurer strain hunger, you spd
your hootllcklng new fol *, are oniyst = !. 4
proud to give us bread, we nliied r r,
ment, we have only 70 llft pa.,nn'zhig;
hand. ana YOU and YOU pafVse'Ilu1s VII ~
subsequently run to clothc sl's'
Truly that Is a strange dilstortion q
nomenclature which sometimes derlTiv 2
applies the name OF snob. 70 me patTici n.,,
foks'-wlth yslr vulgar ready money,
WHO urconscosly make pride OF q, ances.
try the laughing stock Of creation. in,.
we do some chucking ourselves ana ~
/. would nils ht yo,, Of the common herd y
We deigned to let you hear
Don't look at me and say you ana YnuF
January IS, 1901;