davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-01-20

Dan Cohen, aged A, died at 10 o'clock
this morning at his rooms at 209 Kan
sas avenue. Arrangements for the fu-
neral have not yet been made
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-01-20

women" remarked the after dinner
philosopher, are all alike in one re-
I'm what respect?'' asked the informa-
ton seeker.
ssIn being different from one another. .
replied the philosophical observer.-Chi-
cago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-01-20
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Johnny Jones, did you get
that awful cold out skating?'' Son
Mother, I think I caught it washing
my face yesterday morning. Judge.
Stranger-"Seemst to me this crowded
street is a queer place for a hospital
Native-'Well, don't know Two troll
ley lines meet here.''-New York Week
".
-.Then he doesn't want to be called
the Hon. Mr.. Smith?'' mo. It's an
unpleasant reminder that he used to be
in politics and. with strangers, it might
hurt his reputation Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-01-20

Briggs-Dingster doesn't seem to
have as many friends as usual
Griggs-No. He tells me he has had
to cut down his expenses.-Life-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-01-20

Mrs. Mary A. Fowler. aged SO, died
at her home al 1902 North Topeka ave-
nue. this morning. The funeral will be
held at a. m. Friday; interment at FL
mont
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

OF the Thousand Islands, and said he owned
Island there, 50 | asked:
Why do you go there? You will be all alone
want to be alone, he replied
VIII no one live there except YOURSELF"
No one except hen-a little bantam hen
What do you by that? What do you want
IF d hen?"
Well I've always had a great fondness and respect
FIR hens but have been unable to get acquainted
v h them This IS my chance.
Mark Twain was asked to write a testimonial
for a map of the world, and this is what he wrote:
Before using your wonderful map my family
were afflicted with fits but since using II they have
nothing except freckles.
There was a time when | wished for Marks won
.rful map for | was afflicted with fit 1t was at
sa entertainment at Long Branch given in aid OF
the Monmouth Hospital. Many actors and actresses
Who were stopping at The Branch" gave their ser
ices among them Neil Burgess, Mr.. and Mrs Oliver
D9yd Byron, Mr. and Mrs. Matt Snyder, Mr. and
Hrs Frank Chanfrau, Miss Maggie MITCHELL Miss
theresa Vaughn and others
was to appear, and when | arrived | saw Miss
vaughn and Snyder, who stage-nanager holding
animated discussion.
SNYDER came over to me and said: Miss Vaughn
las been billed to follow you but she doesn't wish TO-
She would like to precede you"
All right | replied. I'm perfectly willing
She went out and made great hit. Then my
taru came and ! had just got recitation under
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

te day, so at night endeavored to return
ne compliment There a large gathering in
tc .ness-room, the post band gave few selections,
a-t Mr. billiard announced that he would recte
"l 1rlstmas Night in the Workhouse'' Instantly
q -arge Newfoundland dog, which had been
-oous, looked sad, dropped upon the floor and
went TO sleep. The joke Bob, and everyone
obliged to laugh.
Bat when my turn came and | announced a few
stones about camp life, that dog rose, looked straight
ana reProachfully into my eyes. and walked of
the door. When the laughter subsidized felt obliged
~ say.
i don't blame you old chap"
As ! a Hartford boy, l have always had a
special liking for the and whom that city
has given to the stage and platform. They make
All imposing array William Gillette, MARI,
Twain, Otis Skinner, Harry Woodruff Lew Dock
stader Francis Carlyle. Musical Dale, Frank Lawton,
C. B. Dillingham; and Lucille Saunders and Emma
Eames
! greatly admire Gilette's plays: they contain
50 wonderful variety of characters that it seems
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

my repertoire, which was called Poor
Thing"
The audience saw the joke and helped
me out, but l wish my readers could
have been in my position, if they do not
believe that fit was an affiiction-One
which Miss Vaughn was fortunate enough
to escape.
Many men have told me that they wanted
to hear me recite, and | am convinced
that one in particular meant what he
said. | refer to Bingham the ventriloquist.
He CHANGED to be in a town where | was
to appear before the Young Mems Christian
Association He went to the hall to
reserve a good seat, but was told that
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

ment would be for members only
But | want to hear Wilder" he said,
and this is my only chance within sight
Is there no way of my getting inn"
None, unless you join the association. &"
Incredible though it may seem, Bingham
did join the V NJ. c. A. for the sole purpose
of listening to me He never asked me
to refund his initiation fee on the ground
that he didn't get the worth of it either
though I've scrupulously avoided re-
calling the incident to his memory
Nothing is more unexpected by anyone
than to be mistaken for some one else.
One day while | was walking with James J.
Corbett, the actor-pugilist, who is about
twice as tall as |, two young women passed
us, and one exclaimed:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

10 me that he must
have searched the
whole country for
originals. One day
he told me of a
l-aasant trip he
lad made on the
ST. Lawrence River,
and said
I'm going to live
up there. "
You don't say?
Where: | asked,
sarposing he would
name a hotel where
a large variety Of
human nature could
ba studied; but he
named a lonely part
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25
WildeP

slippery ways of fried
eggs on a dish, so she
accidentally spilled the
contents of her plate
"Oh, Mr.. Choate, " she
exclaimed, Il don't know
what to do, for I've
dropped my eggs on the
floor!"
Choate replied dryly:
eff l was in your place.
I'd Cackle. "
Matt Snyder the actor
found at his table one
night a young man SO
deliberately dressed as to
be a startling dude, so
he asked his daughter:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

politely this is The first time you and me have WORKED
together 3"
Minister Choate has a fund of the unexpected
Some American dishes were served at breakfast
party in England, one being ham and eggs. "A young
woman at the minister's right was ignorant Of the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

1t was the unexpected
too that severely Jared
Captain Alex Williams,
an ex-police official in
New-York. a woman
tainted on the street, the
Captain caught her by
one arm, and Red
Leary, " a noted crimi-
nal, by the other.
"CaD'n said Red "
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

way when in the audience began to have
a fit, at the most critical part of my number. had
to stop, it not duet, and go off of the stage
Snyder asked: whats the matter, Marsh?"
There's a out there having fit"
''Oh, go back and do the best you can" he
Piled.
This is not where l fit" l answered. But l went
back and told my pianist to play number seven of
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25
Ignorant of the
Slippery Ways
of Fried EGGS

give your uSudl entertainments
Cruel boy" chirped Wilder he made for the
door.
Lackave is also the who gravely suggested
to patriotic ScotChman that the the bagpipes
put in the of regiment in battle was that
the would be anxious to get away from the
music that they would toward the enemy.
One of the greatest nusances of the entertainment
business the theater and all other shows is the
persistent deadhead. Every good fellow in the
profession likes so much have his friends his
performance that he provides free tickets to the
extent of his ability, often paying cash for them.
But people who not friends-some who are not
even acquaintance the most determined dead
heads; to have heard about their deceased mother
in-law is reason enough to them for demand for
a free ticket Yet a the stage or platform
is sometimes startled by seeing close personal friends
in the line cash in hand, at the boxotfice and is
reminded of the story Senator Jones of Nevada told
about crossing a river out West He reached the
ferry, but boat there. He saw a man across
the stream chopping wood so he shouted: Hello
there Where's the bOat?'
mo boat. wade across, was the mans answer
and III direct you. Walk ten feet to the right
five feet to the left. Look out! There's big
hole there! Now three feet to the right.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

dozen men across lInS Terry,
and you are the first that ever
offered to pay anything, so |
guess I'll let you deadhead it. "
Occasionally the unexpected
is delightful in the extreme.
Before Charles Frohman be-
came so actively interested in
the stage, he used to affiliate
frequently with the Lambs Club.
of which he was a member
One day the Lambs gave what
they call their washing, " other
treat or picnic, at an island in
~ Lester Wallack. At high tide
passengers on the island, and in
ambs were safely landed. But at
which brought us was anchored
mile from the shore. When the
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

wise their summer
the sound owned
boats could land
the morning the L
night the steamer
out about half a
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

"What did you bait your hook with to catch that?
but he was floored by the sweet reply:
Cake papa
Sometimes the unexpected will cause man tc
be grievously wounded in the house of his friends
Here is illustration clipped from a New-Yorl
newspaper:
Marshall P Wilder the professional humorist
in the Players Club surrounded by some spirits
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

Tor L We got to
go up town to
be funny. It's
an awful bore
" Wilton Lack
aye. who has been
taking up the role
of smart cyni-
cism left by poor
Maurice Barry
more, drawled in
his most irri-
tating manner:
Why don't YOU
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

''Why, there's James J. Corbett!
(Which one?" the other asked,
Lightweight though l am, there was time when
| got COrbett badly ratified. He was living at AS
bury Park training for of his fights. and while
in a railway with him. got out pack of cards and
did some tricks for Jim. Soon got him so puzzled
that he exclaimed:
Hold there Marshl These tricks get me nutty."
1t was the unexpected that brought James Young
the actor a roar of laughter evening when he
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

~ one respect personal
experiences are like
jokes those least
ezoected cause the most
Listing impression. !
may be excused. there
l-c for recording some
d.. both.
some years ago a party
men and women,
..ong whom were Mr..
I-lard and myself,
r.-.ced David's Island.
important military
-.st on Long-Island
sound.
We were handsome
IS entertained during
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

hole theTe. NOW IIItt IttI 20 VIV IISIIV'
Arriving on the other side of the stream, TIL
Senator asked: "What shall | pay YOU"
wall" said the man, there's been
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

yesterday evening. He looked
at his watch and remarked
YEARLY: I've got to run away.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25

addressed an audience composed en-
tirely of his own acquaintance, as
follows:
my friends-I cannot call you
ladies and gentlemen, for l know
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
GEN EsEE

Mrs. c. L. Jain returned home Tues
day from her visit to Washtucna.
Mrs. Fred Bressler and daughters
have been spending the past week in
Moscow.
Mrs. c.. f. Hibbs and daughters left
Wednesday morning for the Occur
d'Alene country to visit relatives.
Mrs. Ouse, sister Of Mrs. Nagel and
Chas. Bcmberg. is here from Spokane
on a visit.
Martin Meyer and Albert Sanford
left Tuesday morning To- Spokane ex-
pecting to remain some time.
Miss Emma Nebelsieck was Wis
itor at home from Moscow over Sunday.
A. Scroggin and family drove over to
Asotin last Monday returning the same
day
Tom Stinson was over from Troy the
latter part of last week sizing up the
crop situation.
D. E. Dawes, the we'll driller, has
sunk a hole on the Joe Kambich farm
over 100 feet deep. Very little rock was
encountered in the entire depth.
Ormond Mcmahon. accompanied by
his mother and Mrs. J. s. Larrabee and
the girls, visited at Jas. Halls north OF
Uniontown the latter part of last week
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
oRoF,No

D. w. Martin Of Musselshall, was ir
town Saturday.
s. r. Hogin. Of Cavendish, was In
town Thursday.
Marius Loff has come in from the
ranch for a while and is working ir
Bullock's barber shop.
c. c. Fuller and l.. Stannus went to
Lewiston, Thursday, to appear before
the board of county commissioners in
the interests Of the Kingsley road.
Miss Jessie Haevernick. who has been
teaching at Charleston the past winter
has returned to her home at Orofino
where she will remain until September
Frank Surprise was up from Ahsahka
Wednesday. He says Ahsahka II quite
lively now. A new school house Is I'M
der construction at that point, and
other improvements are being made.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
T ET us BE HAPP\I
Helen keIIer's Optimism

ELEM KELLER, the blind,
- deaf mute scholar and phi
losopher, has latdqy written
an essay on optimism, an ut
terance SO remarkable that it ought to
sting with shame those who, having
full possession Of all their senses and
faculties, still poison the lives Of them
selves and those around them with .
chronic evil tempered pessimism.
Helen Keller pictures herself as she
s-tO all human knowledge hopelessly
blind and deaf for life. Then she asks
us what would be the result if she
should simply sit down and rave and
scold her life away because she can
never see or hear. This impotent rag
ing would do no good; it would do
harm. 1t would keep her nerves har-
rowed up and hysterical, ram her
health and bring her at lcngth to in
sanity. Instead of doing that, this he
roic soul, with nearly every avenue Of
communication with the outside world
cut of, has become a classical scholar,
speaker on sociological topics and a
writer whose every line is read with
interest
She tells us she has made up her
mind to be happy in spite of every
thing, to learn all she can and do all
the good she can. 1t is true Helen Kel.
Ter is comfortably provided for finan-
cialiy by her parents, but with her in
tellect and determined optimism she
would be the same cheerful, helpful
girl if she were pauper in a public
Geaf mute asylum. 1t does look as
though this grand human soul is per-
mitted upon the earth only to show the
race how much can be achieved by
human being who can neither see nor
hear. The one sense Of practical use to
her she has cultivated to such a degree
Of fineness that once she touches the
hand of human being she recognizes
the person ever after.
Three-fOurths Of us women go at life
all wrong. The things about which we
fret and fume and rasp ourselves night
and day are exactly the things we can
not remedy. There are wives who re-
gard themselves as virtuOus martyrs
because they continue to live with
drunken, worthless husbands. They
scold and nag the wrongdoing man
and snap at him whenever he Is in
their presence, but they continue to
live with him, sometimes when he is
hopelessly brutalized and has even
treated them to black eye or a blow.
A friend asks perhaps the very natural
question:
what do you live with him for?'
Then the wo.-lan who considers her
self virtuous martyr flashes up and
angrily asks in turn what the question
er knows Of the feelings Of wife and
mother. Then she goes on and raves
and scolds and nags and whines again
from morn till dewy eve. How good 1t
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06

-
Glen Mckinley was visitor In the
city from Wallace last week.
Editor Which Of the Troy News was a
visitor in this city Decoration day.
A. M. Jones and family left here last
Monday bound for Culdesac where they
will reside.
w. w. Bowker and B. F. Grove of
Juliaetta were in the city to attend the
democratic convention.
g. w. Suppiger Of Kendrick, John F.
Spencer and John H. Botten Of Troy
were in the city Tuesday to attend the
democratic convention
Lindol Smith gave an address at Troy
on Decoration day. Mrs. Smith accom-
panied him on his trip. Mrs. Smith is
the only army nurse now living in
Idaho.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
You and Your NcighbOrS
in the Nearby Towns

came over from Nezperce Saturday, re-
turning Sunday afternoon.
Ed. Snow left Friday morning for
Baker City. Ore. He will return here
in time to take in the harvest.
Lloyd Fem, of Lewiston. stopped of
here Monday evening to visit friends
He was on his way to the Salmon river
country where he will spend the sum-
mer.
Nash Wayland has been in this To-
cality for some time buying pack
horses to freight into Thunder Noun
tain. He bought several animals here
and in Sites.
Dick Maxwell, at one time in the
employ of Week & Burney, was in town
the first of the week. He is now en-
gagged in the meat business at West
lake and is doing we'll.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
7. p. A. at Springfield

SPRINGFIELD, ILL.,. June 6.-The
fifteenth annual convention of the Ma
tional Travellers Protective association
opened in Springfield today with four
hundred delegates and about vice as
many visitors present The day was
devoted chiefly to the reception Of the
delegates. The regular business ses-
sions will not begin until tomorrow.
The city is decorated and given over
to tibet ravelers. who will remain here
week.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
JuL,AErrA

Miss Lena Mcldillan. who has been
visiting here for some time with Miss
Mammie Mckay. returned to her home
In Oakesdale. last week.
Mrs. Holmes. sister Of Mrs. Chas.
Lynch arrived Sunday for an extend
ed visit in Spokane.
Prof. Barackman of Kendrick was Z
Juliaetta visitor Saturday.
Mrs. Al. Lucas and daughter Of lap
val were visiting here last week. !
". A. Wallis visited Pullman last
week returning home Saturday.
Myrtle Nichols and her cousin Ethel
came up from Lewiston Friday.
VIM. Hall and g. A. Frerks started on
an inspection trip to the British Co
lumbia and Alberta country last Mon
day. They expect to be gone for some
time and will look well over that Sec
ton before returning home.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
ASOTIN
.

Bertha Jones returned last week to
visit with her parents Mr.. and Mrs.
8. r. Jones.
Frank G. Morrison of Charleston came
UP Wednesday to transact business at
the court house.
County Commissioner Yeoman and
wife were in town Wednesday, attend
ing to some business matters.
Uncle James Forgey came in
Wednesday evening from Tacoma
where he has been temporarily stop
ping.
Ira Mckenzie of the Hansen Ferry
country was in town Wednesday on
business connected with the drowning
of Fred Abel.
VIM. d. Jones who went to Walla
walla last week, left that place for
iWymore. Nebraska. to visit friends and
relatives.
Chas Isecke and wife, James Sang
ster and wife. Harry Parrish and wife.
O. T. Green and Hon. e. Baumeister
left Friday morning for Tacoma where
they will attend the session of the
Grand Lodge I. o. o. F.
J. T. Morrow and J. H. Morrisey left
Thursday morning for an extended trip
to different coast cities. and different
points In California. Mr.. Morrow has
been III for some time and it is hoped
that the trip will improve his health.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06

would be II some one who had absO-
lutte authority could seize such a wom-
an by the neck and say to her finally:
EITHER shut up or get Out!''
That's it! Shut up or get out! Two
Of the divine faculties of spirit that
have play in this life are the reason
ing power and the godlike will. Are
your troubles more than you can bear
No trouble more than we can bear or
get away from is ever put upon us.
Sit down quietly and think how many
Of the matters that distress you can
be remedied by yourself. Put these in
q group by themselves. Then put on
the other side the griefs that no effort
Of yours can remedy. Make sure Of
your two groups.
Then rise and calmly work hence
forth In trust and faith to put right
the wrong things In the first group. Fill
your mind with this 90 fully and en-
thusiastically that the other woes-the
things that you can't possibly help
win in time drop out Of your mind.
Remember this always: BY frettine
constantly over the things we cannot
help we weaken and ruin our power
Of dealing with the things we can help
1t ID no Sign Of womanly tenderness t.
fums and weep over relatives gone
wrong. On the contrary. It n dead
sure proof Of womanly silliness and
weakness. Such . woman h only hyo
tsrical and scatter Drained.
Let N ne the godlike win that Il q
every one Of N. Let N train ourselves
day BY day to be happy and cheerful
In spite Of the arch llend himself. Their
are heavily laden women who are doing
this all the time. Ali happiness II with
In u. II 1t u not there. we shall nevel
get Il from outside sources.
DORA BELLE DENISON.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
COTTONWOOD

Clifton Miller was visiting In town
Tuesday from his farm near Nezperce.
Frank Terhaar and family were up
from Genesee the first Of last week Wis
iting relatives and friends in this vi
entity.
Il Fred N. Shepherd. the genial New
York Life Insurance man. arrived in
town Friday and will remain several
days. p.ssss ~
Johnnie Nash was up from White
Bird. Sunday, renewing old acquaint-
ances and incidentally taking in the
base ball game.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
CLIFFORD


D. c. Tribble went to Lewiston. Tues
day.
Scott Ogden went to Lewiston Satur-
day morning.
T. Barth and A. Lang returned Tues
day from Q trip to Asotin.
A. n. Orchard returned Saturday
from q business trip to Spokane.
Peter Klaus Of Noble was in town
Friday on his way to Juliaetta.
!. r. Nelson Of the Lewiston Mer-
camille company visited Clifford
Wednesday.
County Assessor. w. L. Clifford and
family Of Lewiston spent Sunday Wis
lting In town.
Louis Clark returned home Tuesday
evening from Seattle. where ne shipped
= car load Of stock
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
Fowls for Sale

One pen Of Cornish Indian Games. l
pen White Plymouth Rocks. pen
Barred Rocks. l pen Bum Leghorns. l
pen Black Lankshans, pens Brown
Leghorns. and pen White Leghorns.
These birds are all first-class and
mated for the best results. Six females
nnd one male in each PEN. Call at Lew
'nten Poultry Yard or address William
Jones. Lewiston. Idaho swow
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-06-06
uNioNrowN

Miss Anna NJ chefs was a Pullman
visitor last week.
Mr.. Driessel was up from Lewiston a
few days last week.
Professor and Mrs. Albright left Sum-
day for their home at st. John.
Holly Trimmer and Fred Wilke drove
over to Genesee Tuesday night
Milton Meuli arrived from Pullman
last Friday and will remain home with
his parents.
A. Mossman and Jos. Busmann. Jr.,
drove down to Lewiston. Monday. re-
turning Tuesday.