Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-09-15

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Conductor-I got your fare before.
sir, Passenger know, This nickel
is for the eompsny.-Judge.
I'm getting old" Having rheu.
matismy' Worse than that I'm hav.
Ing reminiscences.r-Ci Cincinnati Trib-
une.
$50 she has started on a life jour
ney into matrimony, has sher' well,
| guess it is only an excursion trip
Brooklyn Life.
Bursley-He claims to be related to
You, and says he can prove It Ftloyd
The mans a fool. Bursley-That
may be mere coincidence.-Smart
Set
Wife-Good graciousl Do you hear
that sound from the kitcheng More
dishes broken, I'll warrant! Husband
Never mind, dear, it has stopped the
cooks singing.
Affected Youth (to man ringing fog
bell at ferry landingl-Aw-my man,
why Is this bell rtngingf Man-Can't
You see. you idiot. it's because I'm
pullin' the roper
Mrs. Haggard--Do you know, myself
and my daughter are often mistaken
for sisters. Mrs Gay-Ah, the dear
girl must be studying too hard, don't
ron think 1puek
Jimmy-Ma. did y buy George q
birthday present? Ma--Yes. Jimmy
Ma. what did y buy t pacify me
cause faint my birthday Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.
Dingiong-Did you try that cigar l
gave you yesterday Biffbang-Yes,
but 1t didn't deserve a trial. Ding
dong-Why, what do you mean? Bitf-
bang-It should have been lynched.
Mrs. Kenway-You used to say that
I was the apple Of your eye. Mr.. Ken
way-well, what of 1t? Mrs. Kenway
Nothing. except that you don't seem
to care as much for fruit as you once
did.
George-Ethel, dear, I'm going to In
terview your father tonight Ethel
All right. George. And IL anything
happens I'll come to the hospital twice
a day until you are able to be out
again.-Chicago News.
II punish you. Browning, because l
love you. But you are too young to
understand what a mothers love Is"
"Is 1t two soles with but a single
thought; two hands that beat as one"
Life.
Mistress (who is going out for the
day)-And, Mary. you may invite a
friend to come In to tea, If you like.
Mary-Please, IN, l haven't got any
friends. only know young women!-
Punch.
Harold anticipating thingES - 1
wasn't at school yesterday, Miss
Bangs. His Teacher (severely)-No;
you were not. Harold (decisively)-
Miss Bangs, I've got to turn over
new leaf or get into trouble.
Hettie-Now that you have broken
your engagement with Fred, shall you
return to him the diamond ring he
gave you? Minna-Certainly not, Het-
tie; 1t would be constant reminder
Of the happiness he had missed.
Customer Ito chemists assistant)-
In business like this l presume you
have gained some practical experience
Of therapeutics? Chemists Assistant
Indeed, yes, sir. l had 'em when |
was ten years old. Broke out all over
me.
A Chance to Get Event wish,"
said the expressman to the lawyer,
that you would send in your bill for
legal advice" II am waiting" replied
the lawyer, until | get your bill for
nv May moving. I'd rather have the
last chance. Eek.
Actress (angrily)-Did you write
that criticism which said my imper-
sonation Of ''The Abandoned Wife"
was a miserable failure? Critic
Ye-y-e-s; you see, you looked so ire
sistibly beautiful that it was impossi-
BILE to fancy that any man could aban-
don you!
First Stockholder-I don't see why
people should be allowed to carry pack
ages on the elevated roads. Second
Stockholder-Why shouldn't they?
First Stockholder-Well, If it were not
for the packages we could crowd a
few more people into each car.-Town
and Cnuntrv