The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1904-06-25
TheGu &
All0||E !lAEAs
%H!s!@oua''
BY CYNTHIA GREY


OUT of the Cracker family. Mr.. and
Mrs. Cracker sat up half the night
making the final preparations, and the
little Crackers were up betimes on the
morning of the Fourth, which was to
be the day of the celebration.
For several weeks the plans had
been laid. They would start early in
the morning and spend the day visit
ing the parks, gathering up their
friends as they went along.
And when they were all ready,
bright and early, how spick and span
they looked!
| There was Carrie Cracker. all in
green, Fire Cracker the second wore
a yellow outing suit. Papa Cracker
was royal in yellow suit, too, and
Mamma Cracker had put aside her
dislike for colors for this once and
appeared in a jaunty suit of red. All
the little Crackers, even to the baby,
wore red, too, for there was enough
| left of mothers dress to go round
among the children. And to baby's
go-cart they tied bright red ribbon.
| They sauntered down their front
walk just as the sun cast its first
red flush abroad, nor did they dream
of the fate that awaited them! The
whole Cracker family was doomed.
Again and again Father Cracker
cautioned the younger children: keep
away from the street cars, and if you
see a man smoking a cigar, run, chill
dren, run, for your lives depend upon
it! Beware of fire in any form, for
the Cracker family from the first
three original brothers that came over
in the Mayfower have been sensitive
to extreme heat"
| The Crackers were obedient chill
dren, and this sad tale would never
have been told had not Mr.. Punk
Joined the crowd at the corner of the
street. Father Crackers heart mis-
gave him as he shook hands with the
intruder. And well he might tremble,
for Punk makes trouble wherever he
goes.
But even the nall might have end
ed well had not Mr.. Punk been smok-
ing, and had he not injudiciously kiss
ed Baby Cracker and playfully pulled
her pretty red cap by the white string.
The crack of his caress could be
heard across the street. Baby sent
up a piercing shrek. Crowds gather
ed from all directions as she sprang
from her go-cart in spasm of fright
and fell, black in the face, into her
mothers arms, where the spark of
life went out a moment later.
Father Cracker sternly regarded the
offender for a moment, then exploded
with wrath and Indignation.
At her fathers unexpected behavior
poor frightened Miss Carrie burst into
tears, and all the little Crackers, cling
ing to their sisters green ruffles, broke
out in sobs.
BY this time Fire Cracker the sec
ond was in a towering rage, and as the
police gathered to quell the disturb
ance he turned upon them with a
| burst of eloquence that caused the
cheek Of Mr.. Punk to burn with
shame.
The poor little mothers half brok-
en- heart swelled with pride at this
evidence of her sons consuming devo-
ton to his family, and her breast
heaved spasmodically.
Canon" Cracker, a distant relative
of the Crackers and Of great influence
| in the town on account of his sanctity,
appeared Unexpectedly and at last sue
ceeded in parting the crowd and clear
ing the way for the ambulance, which
just then drove up.
As the members of the wrecked
family, packed into the ambulance,
| were driven rapidly away, the SYM
pathy of the crowd turned to rage
against the offender. In his capacity
as peaeemaker, "Canon" Cracker did
his best to defend him, but his efforts
resulted in a sad, sad fzzle.
Punk fought desperately until the
last. There was the cracking of pis-
tolls and the smell of much powder,
and many bones were broken and many
heads were battered before he was
overpowered but he was at last borne
away, very much put out, to the city
Jail.
And this is the pitiful story OF the
Cracker family and their annual blow
out.
A most unfortunate family, as every
one will agree, these Crackers!