davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The Judge-"But you have no visit
bic means Of support"
The Tramp-"Oh, I dunno. judge.
Yer kin see lots Of gOOd-natured peO-
pie in de course. Of a day If yer keeps
yer eyes open"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

At this season Of the year it is
only proper to expect the Mad Null
1ah to come forth at any moment with
another Of his justly celebrated out
breaks.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The new treaty between Great Brit
ain and Tibet authorizes Tibet to pay
John Bull S2,5OO,OOO for the privilege
of letting him do exactly as he pleases.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The King Of Italy is only a little
more than four feet \ height, but he
probably feels as tall as a church
steeple.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Mr.. AstOr has a right to live where
he pleases, and to be a citizen Of any
country, or the subject OF any mon
arch that VIII take him in; but he
can't expect the people Of the United
States to take much pride IN his
American origin.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The New York Press wants a way
patented to always get the last word
in an argument Easy. Give it to
your opponent
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

In view Of the fact that a Smith.
sonian Institution anthropolOgist de-
clares that within a few centuries
blondes wiz have entirely vanished
from the face Of the earth, the man
Who prefers blonde wife had better
hurry up and get one now.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The coal trusts both hard and soft
are raising prices again. If they 90
this in the green tine what VII they
do with US when the sere and yellow
leaf sppears2 Yet the administration
cannot get evidence TO stop the rob
berry, though as far as the anthra-
cite coal trust is concerned there is
a large pigeon hole az the Department
Of Justice filed with written evidence
that M Hearst collected
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The stOrk is certainly doing well
by European royalty this year, which,
by the way, must be encouraging to
young Queen Wilhelmina
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The Impress DOwageT Of China has
become an apostle OF reform, but she
reserves the right to do her own re-
forming
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

A Chicago poet is severely criticised
for making finish" rhyme with spin
ach-" But allowance should be made
for the Chicago pronunciation.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

II you don't get the biggest and bsst
it's your own fault Defiance Starch
is for sale everywhere and there s
positively nothing to equal 1t IN Quan-
tity or quality.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Aliens Feot-Esse, Wonderful Remedy.
ssHave tried ALIENS FOOTEASE, AID
ind It to be certain cure, and gives con-
fort TO one suffering with sore, tender and
swollen fest I VIII recommend ALIENS
FOOT-EASE 70 ny friends, as Is r.
certainly 3 wonderful remedy.-aIrA y.
z. Guilford, New Orleans, LA
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Sometimes" said Uncle Eben, "a
man gives hisse'f credit fob bein' re-
signed to fate when he has simply
settled down to bein' good an lazy"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Several lives were lost in the last
South American revolution This is
a matter which should be inquired
into by the police.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

An eastern editor has confessed
that he is sick Of telling lies. Who
follows in his train2"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The cars. new baby has heaps Of
trouble before him. Incidentally, he
has got to learn to talk Russian
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Owing to the fact that the hazing
season has opened it is necessary for
the doctors to attend to their regular
patients between times
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The apple crop of New Jersey this
year is immense, and already the fan
cy Of the New Jersey farmer lightly
turns TO thoughts of appIejack.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Excessive automObiIing produces
the disease aUtOmania, so the doctors
say. Excessive lodging produced
autOphObia long ago.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Phipps got his divorce Now he is
fully qualified to play golf at New
port.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

The average Englishman, it is said,
consumes 500 glasses Of beer per an
num- 1t may be true, but il looks
nOthy.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Canadian vegetarians Outswam the
meat eaters in a contest at Toronto
a few days ago. AS a rule, however,
the best swimmers are fish eaters.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21
THOUGHT SHE WOULD DIE.

Hrs. s. W. Marine, Of coIorass
Springs, Began to Fear the Worst
Deans Kidney Pills Saved Her.
Mrs. Sarah Marine. of 42s ST UraiR
St. Colorado Springs. Colo. President
Of the Glen Eyrie Club, writes:
Il suffered for three years with s.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

A dressmakers' convention may
have a great deal more interest for
men than they are aware OF at the
time
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Treasurer Roberts says the SO bills
are highly popular. Deservedly so,
too.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21
The WORLDS FAIR-sT. LOUIS.

THE WORLDS FAIR-ST. LOUIS.
Hotel EpWorth. three blocks from the Admin
istrstion and Convention entrances, IS . safe
permanent brick building Of over SO rooms u
costs no more TO stop ST Hotel EpTOrth than az
the temporary stan and frame hotels Rates
61OO q day and up European plan EdrSt-class
dining hall-4easOHable prices Every con
Venience. Hesdo quarters Farmers National
Congress Rooms may be reserved (DelmsF
Garden car on olive HCtel EpWortA, eco
Washington Ave, St LcU1s, No,
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Being an adept at putting people to
sleep, jim. Jefries is going into the
hotel business
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

''Therel" exclaimed Rev. BIr. Casa
way. es he finished writing his sermon,
4 fiatteT myself that very few preach
ers could beat that bit OF elOquenCe."
What's your text, dear?" asked his
wife
q" Let nothing be done through vain
glory"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

An Ohio spinster has been arrested
for abduCting a 3-year-Old boy. Next
time she'll know enough to take one
Of her size
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

why did you quit the Richleys,
Jane?-'
1T was the stinginess Of EN-, num-
I was a lOOkin' out me kitchen window
one day when the mistress comes in,
and says she'd give a penny for me
thoughts, and them millionaires, moind
youI"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

What discoUrages q woman about
bank account is the very close tab
the cashier keeps On the checks she
draws.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

What a homely shirt"
Yes, ny wife picked IL out"
why. man, haven't you any taste
yourself?"
Not for a quarrel with my wife"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

WfIIie-3da, you amt much Of a
prophet. are you?"
Ma-Why, what DO you mean, VIII
lie?
WilIie-You said if I ate that cake
that was in the pantry it would make
me sick, but It didn't
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Seeing fzs't believing when you can
see through tie schemes Of a sWindler.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

well, OF course. don't know how
the young man viii turn out. Marriage
IS a lottery"
Yes, mamma. but a girl should
hardly be expected to let her mother
select her ticket"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Pa. Is -etributien the worst thing a
person can have2"
No. Il isn't half as bad as the feel
ing one has after he has confessed and
the discovered that he wouldn't have
been found out if he had kept quiet
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

Some people never attempt to DO
anything for fear they might do Il
wrong
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

It is up to a man to pay his rent o.
get a move on himself
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

'sWhy Is moonlight so conductive 70
romance?" said the sentimental young
man
well answered the practical girl,
for one thing, when you are using
moonlight you aren't interrupted by
membranes Of parental worry about
gas and electric light bills
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-21

A man isn't necessarily IeveI-headed
Just because he is bald.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11
sGUIDESdND DOGS
h. SHE LIDES5ON ll1OIN7'AIlN
ROME, Sept. i

r ONE, Sept. ..ss3
4 n n L;5NS has been received here that
I'M $50 tourists lncludirg Il goodlyS
Il Der Of l;nglishmen and Americans.
owe their safety on tie st. Bernard to the
dogs Of the famous hospice.. III SsS l
They had climbed the mountain yestcr-
der to escape the heat OF the valleyB,whcn
IA terrible storm came on. Snow fell in
such quantities ms to quite obllterate the
paths along the &mpuntaing and quickly
rose in places 10 a height of many feet.
b. The tourists were In despair, when some
ofs the dogs from the monastery of ST.
Bernard appeared and led them to q place
OF safety. Many tourists are weather.
bound on the mountntns.
NJ. Senouque, the astronomer of the OBJ
!servntoryF on the summit OF Mont Blanc,
together with d guide has been n prls-
5oner for four days in the observatory
owing to the bad weather II Is feared
that disaster has occurred. Parties Of
guides have left to render assistance, y
@ 1t appears that the guide Kubli who
was killed on tho Tool gdl,SS7 feet, lost
his life In saving his compa mons. Grisoh.
the other guide. WAS, trying to avoid a
falling stone when he slipped and
dragged the tourist MI 10 wa s with them
after him. Kubli stopped both of them,
Init was himself pul led over lolently, and
broke his skull on n rock
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11
IGNORANCE GERMAN
COSTS MAN A FORTUNE; | {.
to Speak il, Armenian
Traveller Loses Bag Con
tanning 500 Diamonds.

Il 81 ,YIFiNN.A,s Sept, 10. g
An Armenian named J osef llilsor l,as
had 4 costly eSperience, owing 70 his tg-
norancc or the German language.
z While on his why by rail from Trieste
to Vienna he3lnislnid his ticket. and as he
was unable to make the collector under
stand hut5 official forced him to set out
of the train. US.
Thinking he could put he matter right
In moment Will the sta ton mas Ter and
then rc-entor the train. 1tlkort left a hand
,baE, containing 800 uncut diamonds.
weighing 1870 carats, In the compartment.
TO Ills horror. however, the train began
to move off, and when lflkors attempted to
jump Into the carriage to recover his ba g
he WAS prevented by a porter. 81
Whom the officials understood what had
happened they sent off telegraphic mes
sages for the bag, but It could mot be
found, and Rikor5 to-day commenced an
action against the Southern Railway for
800, 900 onsthe ground that the loss was
due to Its negligence. SIT "A ~ FIX 4.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11
GENEVA Sept. 10.
-TIIE sudden storms which have sWeY
the Alps for the past few day,

GENEVA. Sept. 10 .
77llE sudden storms which have sWeY
f the Alps for the past few day
~ coming after two months cxcY-
stlonally hot weather. have rendered ne
mountains and glaciers more than usnfly
y dangerous, and daily records arriyf Of
& numerous accidents and escapes. III
Three French tourists havc5hnd aEon-
%dcrfu escape from death bctweej the
5Yalsorey Colnbin and tho Grand Cabin
Accompanied by Il guide they AFT f,pteu
! ,glissade Ldownjia very steep lynx I
sncw. and only discovered too llIe that
lie snow had turned to fee. i3lr'
heir piolets were torn out their
Grasp, and With lacerated nngerst hey at
tempted in vain to check thei,jdescent.
On thc very edge Of u deep crdasse the
guide managed TO Jam his aX{ into he
ice, aud the four lives We're sn "a almost
by a miracle, n y s
On the Aiguille Dorec. one the Mas
5sif DIP TRENT peaks. a guido has saved
tho lives Of his party OF tourNs ny sheer
strength, and presence of q flnd. With
two Americans and a porte1 no was ne
ggotiating Tho descent of a III rowt couloir.
when the porter, who was poYe the 9th
ers, detached q huge stonf b ~
The guide. hearing the Iporter 8 Fl cry.
lacked upward In time to half catch the
rock In IT'S fall, and by pIsuprcme5 effort
diverted It wide OF the climbers below
him. Is t IS e i 3si. H n
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11
, FRENCH MARINES RUN RIOT
Break Door Of Guard Room and
Wreck Dining Hail.

BREsT. Sept. 10. IA number Of marines.
who had been placed under lock and key
at the naval depot created an extraordin-
airy scene yesterday evening.
& Having burst open the door of the guard
room, they rushed Into the dining hall,
where they wrecked the furniture and
smashed all the china and glass. For
nearly ali hour they paraded the building,
dancing and shouting, the authorities be-
Ing powerless to cope with tho disturb
iance, \. rs .3 nj
A 4 body OF bluejsckets arrived and sue
sceeded In arrestlng the rioters after q
desperate struggle, The men were placed
IN irons, and It Is expected Will be severely
dealt with, l53 Il
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11
SMART SET ENJOYS
SLAUGHTER OF RATS.
aslliionable Foreigners at iiS-
les Bains Find Amusement
iii III Brutal Show, S5f
.A1X-LEs. BAINs. sept. i

4 II y
+ The latest attraction for the Smart
Set. at 5Aix-les- Batns IS a rat-pit. Where
fashionable Foreigners gather on sunday
afternoons to witness rat-and-dog fights.
A local paper describing the affair
states that at Sundays fight the grand
stand facing the ring was packed With
screaming women. who seemed to rey vi
In The proceedings, Inside the wired ring
was a ma n no let opt OF a cage SO many
rats for each dos A. # IL .Es u 81 s55 81
Some OF the rats were already 50 feeble
that they could scarcely crawl. and had
to be kicked toward the dog that killed!
them. Scores of rats Mere left half dead,
and lay Writhing, while the vel dressed
stghtseers shrieked vi sxc itemen
K il, W, Barnett. an Englishman, who was
present, yentured TO protest as HIST aths
cruelty OF the affair aud VAS promptly
turned out by the police,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11
By Johu# GIN min ii ii; j $dr,nstro7n #

BELGRADE, sSept.slO.s3s
n az ana boding King Peter OF Ser
81 yia persists IL being crowr.d all possible ceremony
l September September q ACCORDING "
the Russian calendar which still Used in serya al sors
of influences been brout to bear to-
the monarch has stubbornly Once
crowned, thinks will By more ana hese not
safe his subjects. .{355,
matter 81 fact has not been 4 corona tion q
sera since the middle Of IL
closely and 5se
e
a es
ssastas ol
XSs so aap q 4s%asa
49, ~ ha
k ms eToNnea IS
s. 9or Esls or
5 f
to construct ySasr 'eyen@ooder barracks,
IA Com promise Reached.
King Peter measured for the royal by Vienna
Sui place
% a and ass
s Nes 4easSes anoinns
z5s 81
sS
B
f n the , ss Il in
e
err6s
aae are 81
and sera IS agar
#6SI IA Crisis in servia. s9s
T,ese Official reports confirmation from the
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11
.CAP1RES .HAREM AND !.
ES !. DAUGHTER |. A ! !. /
.Bea FIJI Descendant Of the
Hpllct NIallol1let Abducted
f.o1n5Hcr Il theirs House.
i, VIENNA, Sept. 10.


ID Cairo correspondent or the Neue
I'rcssc gives. an account OF the SEN
Il s;,llal3 abduction of the beautiful young
d tltcr OF. Shcikh FL s;addat by the
n SIKH All JolIssef. who is the proprietor
n editor Of the principal native journal
4 Nloyctl.
n Joussef. It appears. who was deeply
si horc With the girl, had taken that cx-
81 mo measure because 4 he girls g ather.
81 10 is the sole living descendant Of he
II tophet Biahomct, had refused his cons
5StntSto his daughters marriage withaAli
sfsusscf on I he ground that he was not i,
IL ,pcrsonsto be the husband OLA girl OF
fucli noble lineage.
i All Joussef having abducted the girl and
placed her in Il his harcm, her father ap-
pealed to the Egyptian Government. with
tho result that detachmcntAof armed
police was sdlspat ched to All Joussef's
llarem to demand the restitution OF the
girl.
I ThcIrsrequest being refused, the police
made forciblc entry to the premises,
and. In order TO be sure that they had
taken possession of the person wanted.
they ordered all the fair dcnizens or the
rarcm together with their attendants and
servants to follow them III n Yelled pro Z
fcssiortto the house Of Silcikh I'll Saddat,
mlilrc his daughter was tinallyS selected
IRON the rest OF the women and detained.
All Joussef has now commenced pros
ccedings before the British authorities.
and has obtained the services OF an Eng
tiisil lawyer. III III ID II
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11

! IL Z ~ . . y ~ -
sonable light is commencing itself more
and more to large numbers OF Unionists.
who have come to see the futlity of a.
merely negative policy THETA act. not-i
withstandlng the. enrnity With which 1t
has Deeli met In certain quarters: not
withstandlng the exorbitant demands
which, some proprietors have thought at
TO advance: Notwithstanding the inconi-s
plete character of the measure the land
act is still working a transformation IN
Ireland the full effect OF which will be.
shown by the gradual disappearance Of
old causes OF quarrel and Of old barriers
which have kept 1rishnlen apart.
1fHit3 has been found possible for land
lords and tenants to close the bitter strife
of generations, and by a. little give and
take on both sides to. stablsh peace with
honor, surely there is no reasorlito despair
| that the political felld will yet have a
happy ending; and that, Just as the landed
class have come to see that an occupying
proprictorshp is the only a grarian solu-
ton. so the Unionists of to-day will yet
be convinced that the only remedy for the
national ills Is the restoration of 1reland's
right to self government. NJ #
Irish Arts and Crafts.
Much interest attaches to the Exhibition
ofIrish Arts and era fits, which Is now be-
ing held In the Ancient Concert Rooms
The dsplayjis a most comprehensive one.
including specimens Of beautifully wrought
articles In immense variety--fron ponder.
Gus metal work to the finest products OF
hlgh-class embroidery. from the most sor-s
vlceAhle articles OF household requirement
to the Edalntlest objects of ornamentatlon.s
All classes of goods are comprised In
this well-stocked array. and the Ssig hit Of
suoh an immense variety of the results
OF our artistic and Industrial skill 81 10
enough to Impress the visitor with the be-S
lief that, under happier circumstances,i
Ireland might we'll become self-suffictng
IN the matter OF handicrafts, and that a.
vast field for home effort OF the most
profitable description can yet be devel-S
opcd n n ffSl sS MA M
Industries which once fourished in Ire
land have mo doubt, departed beyond the
possibtlity Y of recall. But the places Of the.
vanished arts and crafts may be taken by
new forms OF productiveness. Moo ern re-
quirements are always calling fresh man
lSiifacturingi enterprises into being, and Ire;
land should5snot lose the opportunities
witch the times afford. It Is clear that;
her people are we'll endowed wit h those
i gifts which find their expression IN high
class Industrial art. VI sSsg Isl
o'Brien in Parliament. Il
his re-electt for Cork, AR o. arisn!
I hassnot been asked to Ia Ike, nor has i.a
taken any pledge. II he accepts che
trust conildcd to him once more With suuh
spontaneit y by hts old Con
|Fstituents,8 he will ae. Theoretically. at all
events, a perfectly free and indsp endent
Representatives. S8f VI.
1t yet rema ms to be$seei whg ntsct ,sii
any his return to arliamentE In tn S. new;
iEchara cter3 wi II have upon .frsah ipcli tics.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-09-11

Special Correspondence
Ej$ DUBLIN, Sept. 2. #
r,IiE new conditions which iceland
~ Purchase act is leading lip to In
ireland have been made the sub.
ject OF a thoughtful letter which Lindsay
Tabloid rosble has addressed 1.-THE Lon.
don Daily News. The writer Is a land
lord, bit he is none the less a patriotic
Irishman; and II there were more among lt
bis class who shared his moderate views
the solution OF the irish question would
present less difficulties than 1t actually
does at the present moment.
Mr.. Talbot. Crosbic was one Of those
who were Instrumental In bringing about
the concilating feeling which resulted In
the holding Of the land Conference and
tthe passing Of the legislation based upon
its report. Though the good understand
ling then established has been greatly
In pursuance OF fractions pol
Icy. still the fact that 1t once existed,
and may even vet be revived In It's full
ness, & is a matter OF much encouragement.
for ali wel-wishers of Ireland.
MARRIED by Extremists.
MIR. Talbot Crosbie deplores the fact
that "a fair prospect has been married by
the ectiongof - few extremists hepoints
out the failure of Mr.. Wyadham to grasp
the situation 5thoroughly and provide the
800, ooo 900 required for the Land act; but,
nevertheless, he believes TINT there Is a
5preronderance Of rea sonable public opin-
ion ready to embark on a policy Of con-
ciliation and compromise There are In
his view two main factors which will
largely affect the future Of ireland:
ls5, First. Tho attitude of the landlords
who have been relieved by the settle
sment Of the land question OF the disa bills
ties attached to their posi- ion. r, y
1" Second. The certainty that relief must
be fforded to the Imperial Parlamerl
which ne ceseartly Involve the devol'l-
ltion OF some Of its present powers. "
is an opening" y says Mr.. Talbot
.Crosbie, for men who see that a great
cha nge has come over the spirit OF the
country. and that the institution Of self
government would bring together many
who are now apparently In hostile camps.
sfs The safest course Will be now I Q
try and give effect to the national aspira-
;tlons BY seeking some method by which
the three estates of the realm may once
more be brought into active operation L
3is. therefore, left for st tesmen8 to devise
some form OF Eisla tive assembly which
will obtain the confidence of the nation.
1T Is possible that another conf ference OF
Irish parties rnay give useful lead In
this direction" I, tx
b senpible Nationalists will agree with
Mr.. Talbot Crosble In the admira BILE senti-
men whichShcs expresses. w.
Uniolists Change Front
signs have not been wanting OF late that
this way Of looking at e fairs In a rea-
tx