The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-12-16
N ROM present indications the in- y augural parade of President
 Roosevelt next March will make

V augural parade of President Roosevelt next March will make the old-tlme circus affair, so dear to the hearts of the masses, look like q funeral procession down a country lane. There will be absolutely no comparison between the two, and after Washington gets through with this ''razzle- dazzle" it will go down in history as the most spec tacular inauguration of President that the country has ever witnessed. There will be Indians and cowboys galore; there will be a wild west brigade and the Phil ipplne scouts will participate. Rough Riders and soldiers and troopers of every degree will be there The nations colo nial possessions, the Philippines, Hawaii, Guam and Porto Rico, will not be for gotten, and MT. Roosevelt will take the oath of office as President of the United States before concourse as heteroge- neous and diversified as the most ex- travagant expansionist could wish. The rugged west and the effete east, the solid south and the solid north, will unite to 1 give a performance that will tickle the President immensely. There will be a great show in Washington March 4-a regular circus, in fact. and people who | have the price of a railroad ticket, or a pass, cannot afford to stay at home.
 The Lick observatory announces that a crack has been discovered in the moon. The crevice is eighty miles long and sev- eral hundred feet wide, huge rift that would cause talk anywhere. Now the astronomers deserve thanks for calling our attention to the fact that something has happened on the moon, but their ex- plantations are not as full as a curious public desires. The Assure may be the result of big river drying up, but are there any rivers on the moon? It may be the excavation for a new subway which the Lunar rapid transit magnates are constructing, and then again 1t may be a sea level canal that has been started at last. Whatever the crack is, 1t is causing learned gentry to stay up late at night and is interesting even that complacent individual who has not yet decided whether the moon was | HiduO SASluSlVeiy lOr TeIl6CIlNS llluIIll- hating purposes or was at one time ''hot stuff' in the solar universe.
 Pennsylvania priest has actually had the temerity to advocate a set of rules for sparkling" a forceful but inelegani | expression which is used to designate 6 practice popular in that period of life when people are most happy and have least sense. The audacity of some people Is simply appalling. The idea of any mar presuming to dictate just how and wher Cupid shall do business is nothing short of ludicrous, for the simple reason that there are no rules for making love. Some philosophers may think there are but they are mistaken. This priest would abolish dark corners, dimly lighted parlors, sofs dialogues, half hours at the gate or al
 the door and long calls. He would abolisH all these evils, but he won't. They are no of the abolishable kind.
 It is really a shame that Mrs. Chadwick Is getting to be so unpopular in the land Her reception at Cleveland was enough to dishearten any captain of finance, muci less a poor, weak woman who is not ( captain but a "captainess." Now Mrs Chadwick used wonderful arts in getting