The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-01-28

gan-Indade? An me afther thinkfn'
tn trouble was in me thrOat.-Judge.
How he is known: WHEREFORE
marriage man is known by the COM
pany he keeps. Husband-And after ?
Wife-By the clothes his wife wears.
Town Topics.
Goodman-DO you ever think of the
good old saying that it's more blessed
to give than to receive? Pugsley-
Yes, when I've got the boxing gloves
on l do.-Vogue.
An alternative: Mahoole-Nixt
tonne Oh pass wild loidy, Mulligan,
we've got to remove your hat! Null
ligan-And suppose OF refuse? Ma
hOole-Then, bedad, we've got to re-
move your coat-Chicago News.
Juvenile reasoning: Sammy-Going
to move soon, Tommy? Tommy-Yes.
Sammy-How do you know? Tom
my-Ah! How do l know! Didn't
me mother lemme break a winder
t'other day and didn't say nothin' p
Tit-Bits.
Kitty Ito Bertha in her new frock,
Why, darling, how becoming your
gown Is! Absolutely any one would
think it quite new! Bertha-So kind
of you to say so! And yours, dear,
looks every bit as well as it did years
ago.-Boston Transcript
The doctors orders: Dedelia-Phat
q I'M FOL In h. 80
cupboard dure, Pat? Are yez crazy ?
Pat-No, darlint; tn dochtor tould me
to-day that l must quit boltin me
food-and I'm goin' to obey insthrus-
Times-Star.
Mother-Why don't you behave bet
ter to your teacher? Tommy-Why,
I'm as kind to her as kin be. Moth
er-You are? Tommy-Yes'm. Ev-
cry time she licks me l cry as loud as
l kin SOS to make her believe she's
hurtin' me.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Hardupp-I tried to sell those dia-
monds l bought Of you, and was told
they were not genuine. Jeweler--
Did you sell them? Hardupp-Yes, for
almost nothing. Jeweler-Wel you 60
back and try to buy them, and you
will find out that they are genuine.
Exchange.
Rosalie-Have you chosen any Of
your bridesmaids yet? May-Yes--
Fanny Lyon. Rosalie-Why,
thought you hated her? May-No,
not exactly; but the bridesmaids are
to wear yellow, and you can imagine
how that will go with Fanny's COM
plexion.-Bazar.
First Impressions: 1.-THE first time
saw you 1 thought how lucky
should be If could induce that de-
licious little angel to be my wife
And what did you thinkw II thought,
oh! dear me! 1 wonder If 1 shall
ever have to marry such homely
looking man as THAR Puck.
He had promised: The fair bride
wept copiously. "Boo-hoow she
screamed; you are a mean old thing;
so there You didn't eat one of my
biscuitsw But, darling" There
is no excuse, sir! Didn't you tell me
when you married me-boo- hoo!-that
you would die for meT-Baltimore
News.
Obviously: Benevolent old gentle
man-DOn't you think fishing cruel
sport? Fisherman should just
think it was. I've been sitting here
five hours and never had single bite
and I've got three wasp stings. and
been eaten up with flies, and the suns
taken all the skin OF the back OF my
neck!-Pick- Me-Up.
Her conclusion: "Do you think
your father has any idea that l have
serious intentions concerning yOu?"
II heard him telling mother, the other
day, that he didn't think 1t would cost
any more to have you at the table
regularly than it does for me to feed
you from the pantry shelves every
night. "-Chicago Record Herald.
Walter Scott liked to tell the story
Of his meeting an Irish beggar in the
street who importuned him for a six
pence. Not having one. Scott gave
him a shilling. adding with laugh.
Now remember, you owe me six
pence" "Och, sure enough" said the
beggar, land God grant you may live
till l pay youg"-Youth's companion.
A preacher at the conclusion of one
of his sermons said: LET all i'm the
house who are paying their debts
stand up" Instantly every man, wo-
man and child with one exception,
arose to their feet. The preacher
seated them and said: "Now every
man not paying his debts stand up"
The exception noted.a careworn, hun