The Washington times., 1904-09-04

pressor spreadin' its influence over
things, what happens? Why, the crowd
gets up yellin'.
90 Run, you mutt, Wow, that's hit
Go on, Go on. Go on!
Makes Men Run.
Sc The Wells go into the mouth o. the
dynamo. an the machine does the rest.
Out o. the hoselilSe mouth comes a per-
feet gale Of concentrated cussin' an
cheerin'. an it ketches the runner in the
back an he goes sailin' down TO first
like A feather i'm a gale. He'll beat the
throw to first easy, an it'll go as a hit.
&c Then. say the batter's a weak hitter
can't never GIT Il out the infield. They
aim the hose down in front Of the plate
an when he hits the ball the torrent o.
air tcllin' him to hustle an make Il
/ good sweeps the sphere on an on, an II
| goes clear away out, an the weak hitter
/ gets -bagger-anyhow a single. See
the pOint2 Then IL can be used to blow
high flies over the fence an make HON
ers out o. 'em. Oh, there's limitless pos
| sibillties I'm it,
" Yes, there is says l. But think o
the variety O. breaths you'll get into
II. That's what's bOtherin me. Some
I'D lift your hair just first hand. What'd
a thousand O. them gin an beer an
cocktail an mixed ale an Rhine wine
breaths do all tangled up an concen-
trated? They'd bust the machine,
Pinch says I. bust # dead. I'll admit
all the power O. air you've fingered out
but them breaths. They'd kin some
body"
" I've allowed for that says Pinch,
very positive. It's to be made specially
strong on purpose for them
&" Again says !. 'mebbe the audience
wouldn't like TO trade its privilege O.
seem the ball game for the pleasure q
yellin' into this here Hobbs Power
Dynamo an Air Compressor How are
they goin TO see the game with this
enormous thing in front Of EN-
% oh. 1 fixed that a week ago. It's
20 be o. glass-the hull thing. Instead
o. putin wires In front o. the grand
stand now TO keep people I'm gettin'
soaked with bones, my glass funnel viii
do all that. The ketcherN have lot
o. work saved. for foul tips'u fan onto
IL an roll off into his hands. It's a
great scheme. o. course. but It can only
be used on the Alfalfa grounds. If we
took it TO Hayville them people I'D yell
into IL at the wrong time an help their
4
Il don't know how Pinch got Josh 10
allow him TO try that machine. but one
day we went out 10 the grounds an. 10
an behold, the big glass funnel was
in place. suspended from an iron rod
that run from the top O the grand
stand. an the strings fer amin the
point were bein' arranged an, carried
back to where Josh HapgoOd, settin' on
our bench, could manipulate them.
The Russetvilles kicked an said
they'd protest the game when they saw
the machine, but Josh told Tim McGin-
mis- that # was a harmless device for
concentratin' the cheerin' NV the popu-
lace an fer crOokedness didn't compare
with a coachin' catamOunJ or a bald
eagle 20 ketch home runs That shut
McGlnnis up.
THE audience entered into the spirit
o the thing with great glee. 1t was
amusin while we was practicu' 10 see
EN- sling peanuts into the big funnel
an then give a concerted yell an see
the peanuts sail out, an then boys caps
all tore to nuthin' by the Eizzards O.
Pinch's dynamo; an when they got 10
sendin chaws o. tobaccer through. why
Josh put his foot down an tackled up
I a sign forbidden anything bein' slung
IN the machine. an the game started
THAT machine worked like a charm
just as Pinch said 70 would. BIT, Pete
Browne hit dribbler TO the pitcher an
whizz, the Hobbs Power Dynamo an
Air Compressor nd Rush a draft out be-
hind him that'd send him over FIRST base
on his hands an knees. clutchin TO the
grass 40 stop. Crack! Reggie would bat
a slow one towards second, and whirr,
the ball 'ud be carried along by the
spiritin air behind II clean TO the
outfleld. Say a Russetville guy tried 10
steal second. Reggie would pass up a
swift one, Ia line IL down swift and
straight right into Pinch's hands
with such help as that machine give
us we'd a won any ordinary game hands
down. But this was an extraordinary
one an I'm the first half o. the ninth
Reggie went all 90 the bad: gave about
five bases on balls, hit a couple O. bat
tiers. an let EN- get i'm two or thr~ It's
at critical minutes, so when
got three RussetvilIes
the sweat on our brows
seven runs an led US.
enc run 10 tie an two