The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1904-09-28
WAS n ARSON OR AssAULrf
What lisppenedwhen some whiskers
Went up In Smoke.


Went Up In Smoke.
He was not a large man, but he had
the most elaborate and ambitious set
of whiskers that had been seen on
Broadway in many day. They were
thick and curly, and afforded com.
plete ambush behind which the proud
proprietor remained in hiding, and
thus absolutely concealed his real ap-
pearance and his hopes.
The wind was blowing almost
gale, and the man in front of him stop.
ped to light cigar. He drew from
his pocket small box containing
matches of the sort that defy wind,
rain hail and lightning once they are
ignited. Nothing can extinguish them
after they start to burn until the fire
consumes all of the chemicals on the
end of the tiny stick And these
chemicals are so literally applied by
the manufacturers that each match
resembles a tiny gong-beater.
The man lighted his cigar and then
threw the fuse away. AS he threw
II the other man he of the luxuriant
whiskers, passed. The flaming torch,
resembling a young comet and prepar-
ed TO deal destruction as 1t travelled,
landed in the wilderness of hair be.
nind which the other man was con.
cealed.
The whiskers caught fire and be.
gan burning fiercely. Famed by the
strong wind, the con1agration spread
rapidly in spite of the fact that the
owner of the beard was paving at his
face with both hands, and was yelling
as only man can yell whose property
is on fire when he knows that he is
carrying no insurance.
The burning man danced and howl.
ed while the cause of the trouble
| looked on in amazement The air
was filled with the odor of singed hair
| and a crowd collected under the be-
| lief that there was a mattress factory
in the vicinity. A policeman run up
and elbowed his way through the
| crowd.
In the meantime the fire had been
| extinguished. But the beautiful whisk
ers had become history, and only
| smoking ruins marked their former
site.
The disfgured man, certain tat he
was out of danger of death, attacked
| the man who had thrown the match.
The other prepared to defend him.
| self, the policeman interfered, and
both men were dragged to the police
station.
There the matter was explained to
the sergeant.
II demand that you lock that man
up said the man whose whlskers
had been burned.
| "On what charger" asked the ser.
geant. "He has apparently set your
| face spinach on fire. Do you want to
accuse him of assault or arson?"
Il refuse to be arrested" said the
other man. "Whiskers are not prop.
erty. This guy will look better with.
out hair on his face. His whiskers
were foolish, anyway. He ought to
give me a reward for burning en-"
mo property?" yelled the other.
Why aren't they property? Didn't !
grow EN-? Why, / have spent IS
years raising that beard and now thiN
man sets me on fire and look like a
singed cat. | will sue him for dam
ages
| See here" said the sergeant you
better compromise this affair. If you
sue for damages you will have to ap-
1 pear in court with the ruins of your
| wind-teasers marked Exhibit A Bet.
ter get smooth shave and let your
wife see what you really look like"
But who will pay for the shaver"
asked the man as he rubbed his fing.
ers over his face.
Il will" said the firebug. II guess
| am responsible to that extent. Any.
way will hire barber to run lawn.
mower over your face in order to
satisfy my curiousity as to the per.
sonal appearance of man who wants
to hide himself from the view of his
neighbors."
AS they departed in search Of a
barber shop the sergeant remarked
to himself:
II don't think the man was guilty
of either assault or arson. / think
the proper charge was mayhem
Golfers Weekly.