davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1904-08-25

Don't flirt ,outrageously because 1t
is your privilege. Perhaps a would.
be ideal husband Is travelling in the
disguise Of a summer man. You may
win this plum Of excellence II you
are wise.--Philadelphla Inquirer.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1904-08-25
WHAT NOT TO DO.

Don't surround yourself with boys
If you care to marry man.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1904-08-25

Beware Of the man who smiles
when he is angry; he's dangerous.
And beware Of the man who looks
glum when he is glad; he's probably
a humorist.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1904-08-25

You may have observed that men
who sit around and wait for dead
mems shoes never cut much Of fg-
ure In history.
The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1904-08-25

When man says there's no use
talking you may as well prepare for
a long-winded argument.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22

eminent, but dangerous one. Popular tension
is hard to maintain. but popular tension is the
only means by which live law can be pre-
vented from becoming dead letter
Where is the risk7 Risk of what /?
That we may be deprived of the bless
ing of uncomfortable government ?
The only permissible function of
government IS to promote comfort,
and comfort comes from living de-
Gently, honestly, and at peace with the
neighbors. IL is hard to maintain a
popular tension produced by hys-
teries and pulling contrary to COM
anon sense, but no tension is required
to keep alive the world-old law that
what is useful shall persist and what
is useless shall pass away.
The existence Of government itself
depends upon popular sentiment. So
far as It ministers to the peoples
needs and promotes their happiness, it
is useful and persistent. And who
but the people themselves shall deter
mine those needs and Judge what Is
conducive to happiness There is no
body on earth but people, and govern
ment mast be either of, for, and by all
the people OF of the many by few
people FOR themselves. In either ease
the Government is what popular senti-
lnent permits it 10 be.
In this country, the people have
undertaken to govern themselves to a
considerable extent and to make and
execute the own laws. When they
find that they have made a bad law or
one that does not serve any useful
purpose, they let it die of inanition,
and no great harm has befallen the
country through the automatic de-
cease of laws which conspicuously
failed to represent the public will.
Dr. Parkhurst may dismiss from
his mind the notion that self govern
ment is dangerous. In the long run
he will find that public sentiment is a
safe guide to the makers of laws in i
free country.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
VICTIM OF cARTooNIsrs.

Senator Hanna is not the only promi-
nent man who is figuring as a dog in
current cartoons Francis B. Loomis.
the Assistant Secretary Of State. is the
favorite subject for South American
caTtoonists at this time and has been
shown in several Venezuelan papers as
barking dog, struggling to break a
chain and get at Venezuela and other
Laun-American republics
These caricatures were inspired By
Mr. LOOMS speech at the Quill Club
banquet In New York when ne said the
action Of the Cnised States in Panama
would be a wholesome lesson to certain
people who have presumed upon their
smailness and feeblenoss to do certain
things and to assume certain unpardon-
able attitudes which we would not for
a moment tolerate on the part OF larger
and more responsible nations"
Mr. LOOmis' speech is supposed TO have
been aimed especially at Santo Domln-
go and Venezuela. Although Venezu-
clans axe inclined TO scon at the threat,
the '"%eaezuelan Herald" and other
papers II Caracas refuse to admit Mr..
LOomis said anything which can be held
20 apply especially 10 Venezuela.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22

nat intended to be fastened upon the
back of a chair to counteract the eff
fects of the oil of macassar. Here in
America the article was known by the
less suggestive name of tidy, and
known principally for its tendency to
cling to The backs Of the unsuspeeting,
attaching itself just between the
shoulder blades.
But, after all. why should an IN
ventor wish to attach his name to his
wares? Nobody now knows who Ma
caesar was, any more than anybody
knows who MacAdam was, and the
average person undoubtedly believes
"antilnaeassar' and ''macadamize' to
be derived from the Grcek2 Why not
call inventions by short names and
rely upon the encyclopedias for re
nOWn?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
ANXIOUS ABOUT THE CAKE.

Yes. sir we viii be married tonight
and hope the wedding cake will turn
up all right" said Joseph D. Reeder
when he applied for a license to marry
Abbie J. Nelson. The wedding was to
AXE place at 500 North Capitol Street
When asked by the marriage license
clerk at the City Hall what he meant
by saying he hoped the wedding cake
would turn up all right. Reeder ex-
planned that he had some nisgiving
lbout the appearance of the CONNECTION
cry at the all important time. He said
that several days ago he purchased a
wedding cake at a Seventh Street con-
fectionery. and it was to have been de-
livered the day before the wedding. He
was informed b. one Of his neighbors
that the cake had been sent to his home.
but as there was no one to receive It
the messenger took II back TO the con-
fectioncr
Reeder then hied himself to the con-
fectiOner to make further inquiry con-
corning the cake. There he was in
formed the cake was sent 10 his home
by another messenger Reeder return
cd TO his home in great haste only TO
find that the cake was not there. He.
however, had great hope that it would
turn up In time for the wedding supper
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
BILL BAILEY WAS THERE.

An amusing incident happened at the
marriage yesterday OF George H O'Con-
nor and Miss Blanche Higgins. Mr..
O'Connor has gained a wide reputation
in Washington. New York. and other
cities for his inimitahle singing OF dia-
lect songs Since the doings Of BIZ
Bailey" were first made known Mr..
O'Conrol has been requested at every
concert in which he has participated 20
sing Of this wily young Ethiopian
Some OF his friends informed him re-
Gently that If he did not sing the song
at his wedding they would be grossly
disappointed. Mr. O'Connor declared he
was through for all time with "Bnl Bal
ley and that the latter should not be
allowed to figure In The ceremony In any
way.
Some friends OF the. brides family liv-
ing in East Capitol Street own an inter-
esting dog which. through some I'M
sz7own agency. received the interesting
name Of -BiH Bailey He is a pet in
the neighborbood and has a host OF
friends
When his mistress started out for the
wedding yesterday, which was perform
ed at St. Joseph's Church on Second
Street northeast. "BnT' determined TO
go. too. He viewed the ceremony
through the crack OF the church door.
and the emily thing that saved his life
was the fact that the groom did not
know he was there.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
NOT TO ME- SAID BURKE.

The extra half hour labor requested
Of the employees Of the District Govern
ment has had its effect on Moncure
Burke, until recently private secretary
20 the Engineer Commissioner, accord
ing to story which has become cur
rent In the District Building.
Mr.. Burke has been in the District
service twelve years. and was conceded
to be one Of its most capable employees.
Never a word did he say about being
dissatisfied with his job until the Com
nissioners promulgated the order that
hours were TO be from s:45 to AIS p. m.
The very first day this order went into
effect Mr. Burke quit, and his many
friends can reach but one conclusion,
which is that he couldn't stand for
the extra half hour.
OF course the fact that Mr.. Burke was
offered a much better job, and that he
has always worked from about $50 a.
m. TIL and s o'clock In the evening,
Is not TO be considered, as it would
spoil the story.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
Beckham Is Content.

The announcement of Governor Beck
ham. of Kentucky. that he viii not be-
come a candidate for the United States
Senate to succeed Senator blackburn.
leaves the latter clear field. His term
win expire in March. 1907. and in view
of Governor Beckham's declaration that
he Is not an aspirant for the Senator
ship. Mr.. Blackburn will have no op-
position. Governor Beckhakh is Yet a
young man. and has already been gov
ernor of the Blue Grass State for three
years. and has just been reelected by a
large majority to succeed himself. He
is therefore willing TO abide his time
and come to the Senate some years later
when such veterans as Blackburn and
McCreary are no longer available for
the service of the State
Senator Blackburn has all along been
the stalwart champion Of the youthful
governor and contributed as much as
any man in Kentucky 10 his election 20
succeed the late Governor Goebel
and last year to succeed him
self, SO that IN all fairness
the governor could not yield to the sag
gestions that he should enter the race
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
TIL
PERSONAL SIDE.
CARNEGIE IN DISTRESS.

Mr.. Burkett, who holds title to the
seat in Cong,&s formerly occupied by
the Hon. William Jennings Bryan. met
Andrew Carnegie one daye not long
since. The two men have known each
other for a number Of years. and each
admires the other There was a cor
dial exchange of greetings.
You are looking rznarkabiy we'll
Mr.. Carnegie" said the Representative
from Nebraska.
"ygen," replied the steel king 4
am feeling perhaps as well as a man
can feel who is about SIS. .O00 in debt -
Mr.. Burkett looked bewildered. He
could not conceive the possibility OF
Andrew Carnegie, with three hundred
millions of first mortgage bonds IN the
United States Steel corporation. paying
5 or per cent per annun. and some
small change besides, becoming a bank
rupt
How does that occur?" ne finally
asked
why, my clerk informed me just the
other day that there were bills coming
in aggregating about s2s,O)o.o00; that IS.
l have obligated myself TO distribute in
one way or another. for libraries ard
other purposes, sums aggregating that
amount. and now the claims are falling
due, said Mr.. Carnegie with an air OF
indifference which scarce another man
IN the country could assume under the
circumstances.
Il hope you win be able to liauidate. :"
replied Mr.. Burkett laughingly.
Il think 1 shall, said Mr.. Carnegie.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
The Silence of Hanna.
The Ohio Leaders Attitude More and
More Mysterious.

More Mysterious.
1t is undoubtedly true, as the "New
York Sun" recently said, that Sena-
ton Hanna has right to keep silent If
ne likes. There are comparatively
few men in politics who can keep 81
lent, and If Senator Hanna wishes to
prove that he is one of those few.
nothing can hinder his giving all thu
eime he chooses to give to the expert
nent
There was once worthy man, a
pillar of the church, who was obliged
TO endure great provocation just as
his clergyman appeared upon the
scene. He said nothing. The clergy
man said
"Thomas, that IS the most profane
silence / have ever heard"
The silence of Senator Hanna is the
most expressive recently heard in pol
tiles, and if he were to make hum
dred speeches he could hardly say
more than it implies. 1t implies, for
one thing, that while he is not pre-
pared to say openly that he is a leader
of the opposition to President Roose-
welt, he Is not prepared to be one OF
the Presidents ardent supporters in
the face Of all opposition. it implies
that be Is waiting for something. OBJ
servers of the political field are at hb-
erty to guess what that something is.
His silence is serving to make ev-
iGent several things. For one thing,
it is proving the strength of the Oppo-
sition 10 President Roosevelt. There
have been rum5lings and mumblings
under ground regarding this opposi-
ton, but there Is a singular reluctance
among the leaders to come out In tie
open and declare themselves. In fact,
1t Is not yet known precisely who the
leaders OF this remarkable movement
are. A movement without a head
cannot dc much more than a chicken
without head, though both can be
surprisingly active for q little while
Meanwhile, if Senator Hanna pre-
fers to preserve a dignfed and pro-
longed silence, he has, as has been adj
mitted, a perfect right TO do SO, even
at the cost of being regarded as the
great American connnGrum.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
PolysullableS.
A Suggestion for Inventors of Useful
Things.

A Suggestion for Inventors of Useful
Things.
We have had many new fashions
and new inventions in recent years,
and 1t really seems as if the name Of
each were longer than that of its
predecessor. Bicycle was followed by
automobile, and automobile may, FOR
all we know, be followed by some fly
ing machine with name in five or SIX
syllo5 les derived from the Greek. We
have had typography and stenogra-
ply, and no end of other things end
ing in "ography." Why are not some
Of these inventions called by mono
syllable namesq
To be sure, some Of them have to
be named after their inventors, and
sorne after the inventors of other ar
tieles. For example, there was a sort
Of hair oil invented in the days when
people used that unpleasant stuff, and
called after its eompounder, Macas-
sar. Immediately the antimacasssr
appeared-it is a suggestive name
when one knows the history Of it-a
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
Quay Flaws Hanna.

SNoy rays mama
Before leaving Washington for F5ori-
ia, where he expects to remain in
definitely until his health improves.
Senator Quay paid his respects to SEN
ator Hanna by declaring in emphatic
language that Pennsylvania delegation
TO the Republican National Convention
viii go instructed for Roosevelt The
President has the lack Of cordial feeling
between the Pennsylvania Senator and
the Ohio Senator to thank for the fact
that the sixty-eight votes OF the Key
stone State win be cast for him, under
instructions from Mr.. Quay,
1t is not that Senator Quay especially
loves the President. but It is because
he loves Hanna less than the President
that he is emphatic in declaring that II
no one else moves in the Pennsylvania
convention to instruct the delegates for
Roosevelt he will do so himself, and it
goes without saying that IL Quay makes
that motion or requests some one
else 20 make IL that II will be carried.
In regard to the district delegates. they
will be instructed for Roosevelt where
ever the rules of the conventions permit
instructions.
In two or three of the Congressional
districts of Pennsylvania the rules for
bid the instruction of delegates, but
those who are chosen from these dis
tricts are quietly likely to fall in line
with the others from other parts Of the
State for Roosevelt. especially when
Senator Quay declares so unequivocal-
~ for the President. Three delegates
have already been chosen in Pennsyl-
vania. two of these were the first TO be
chosen anywhere in the country. for the
next convention. and ali three are III
structed for Roosevelt
Senator Quay has also taken occa-
sion to intimate what he thinks Of the
Hanna talk by declaring that not only
VIII Pennsylvania solid vote be cast
for Roosevelt. but further that not a
single vote Of the entire national con-
! vention will be cast against him. That's
how much stock the Pennsylvania Sen
ator takes in the talk Of Hanna's can
didacy. or the candidacy. in fact, OF
| anyone else.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
Two Dangers.
In the Opinion of Mr.. Bryan Labor
Trouble Is the Least.

Trouble Is the Least.
At the dinner Of the Holland
Society last night William Jennings
Bryan was set down on the programs
as speaker on Peace" 1t became
evident, however, after the attack
apon labor organizations. that the
kind of peace Mr.. Bryan approved
was the kind purchased by war.
He took up the challenge Of his on
4onent without any hesitation. The
substance of his answer was contained
i'l this sentence
"The use of money in elections is a
greater menace to this country than
envy danger from labor organiza-
6ons.2
Whatever may be thought of Mr..
Blyan's attitude on political ques-
tons. there are times when he hits the
nail on the head, and that is the real
secret of whatever power he has had.
II IS absolutely true that purchased
elections are 2 far greater evil thau
the disturbances caused by labor--so
much greater as TO dwarf the riots.
started by a few hotheads, into insig-
nifcance. When the labor organiza-
ron has grown wiser it will capture
the votes instead Of using club, but
The use of money is the very thing
which hlnders its capturing the votes.
It is, of course, an evil precedent
when men disregard the law and begin
to batter heads as a means Of gaining
their viii, and il is exceedingly ineon-
Nenient, of course, when they refuse
e. work until they oct their own way
:bout wages and hours, though lie
latter course is quite inside the law.
Bnt the use of money to control cleo
tons is a secret defiance Of the law
far more dangerous than either of
these evils, for the very reason that it
Is secret. Il is a subversion of the
principles of popular government,
pnd so long as it exists we have no
popular government, but government
By few interested and unscrupulous
men.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
Roosevelt Defiant.

Much comment has been caused by al
interview given out by Gov. Winfield T.
Durbin. az indianapolis. in which he re-
ferred TO his recent conference with the
President. and gives the President credit
for making remark that is construed
as a note Of defiance to Hanna Ac-
cording TO Governor Durbin, the Presi-
dent said:
Senator Hanna has a perfect right
to become a candidate for President il
he chooses.
The President made this remark fol-
lowing the frank statement of Governor
Durbin that the Hanna sentiment in In
diana was strong.
The Presidents remark is interpreted
as Indicating that be and mis- friends
are willing TO take open issue with the
Hanna supporters in full confidence as
TO the outcome OF the struggle They
take no stock In the belief that Hanna
could be nominated If he would but say
the word.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
Pitfalls of Democracy.
As Seen by the Imaginative DR.. Park.
hurst.

The operation Of law under a form
Of government nearly, or in any con-
siderable degree, approaching self
government was stated correctly by
Or. Parkhurst, Of New York, last
Sunday in these terms:
IN a democratic government like our own the
urgency Of statute the sslf-executing power
n statute. dies out Of It Just as fast as the
popular viii dies out o. Il; that is to say, jusr
30 fast "a the statute ceases TO be the living
expression Of the popular discrimination. .
oifeiaA. as rule. will execute laws jus, 20 the
extent that they know those laws fairly repre-
sent the public Will
IN other words, statutes are effec-
tive and beneficial to society in direct
proportion 10 their conformity with
right reason and the natural laws
governing the social relations ard
conduct OF man. BY a process Of Sc.
lection not altogether conscious or de-
hberate, statutes obstructive to the
development Of capacity for self-goy-
eminent, invasive Of personal liberty,
OF designed TO impose artificial re-
strietions upon individual judgment
in matters Of opinion, are rejected and
cast upon the vast rubbish heap Of
futile legislation.
A statute which purports to deter
mine the moral quality of an action BIZ
the position Of the hands of a clock
is not self-executing because it is not
the expression of any human concep-
ton Of right or wrong. Even DIR.
Parkhurst has discovered, no doubt.
that 2 o'clock p. m. and ? o'clock a. m.
are equally destitute Of ethical signiii-
canoe, and that the man who gets
drunk on Saturday is no more virtu-
Gus than he who drinks Unfortunately
on Sunday morning.
Now that he recognizes so clearly
the fundamental principle that the
public viii is sovereign in a republic
that man is the creator. not the crea-
ture, Of statute law-possibly DIR.
Psrkhurst viii abstain from violent
verbal assault upon officials who fail
% execute Vigorously laws which mis-
represent the public will.
While DR.. ParkhuIst's statement Of
fact is hawless, his deductions and
conclusions invite criticism. He says:
That IS the risk that Is always incurred In
living under democratic form Of government :
that law depends for It's execution upon popular
sentiment It is ecu1fa-tsble form Of gov
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
WAGNER KEEPS BUSY.

Frank J. Wagner, first assistant chief
of the Fire Department. who recently
broke his arm, was reported at the
District Building today to be improving
rapidly. Although it will be several
weeks before he will be TT for active
duty. he began yesterday 20 transact
some Of the routine work OF his Office
He has fitted a temporary Office in his
home.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-01-22
A Wise Priest.
The Extravaganza of Unlimited Flowers
at Funerals.
lowng

A priest in Manchester, n. H., has
informed his congregation that hence
forth, at funerals held in his church.
the quantity of flowers will be limited
to a few wreaths. He wishes to dis
courage the extravagant expenditure
of money for gates AGAR" pillows"
and ike constructions, by people who
cannot afford it.
This is one of the most sensible in
rovations recently made in church AZ
fairs, and it Is to be hoped that the
decision of this wise priest will be fol
lowed by similar action in other
churches, Catholic and Protestant.
Nothing is more foolish than the ex-
trapagant funeral customs Of our
land, and nothing has more to do with
keeping the poor just above the leve,
of starvation. When one considers
the fact that an ordinary working
man, earning from $500 % 500 o
year if be has good luck, and obliged
TO pay city prices for all his house
hold expenses, IS compelled to spend
at least q tenth of his slender income
for one funeral in his family, it be-
comes evident that death Is an eX-
t-avaganee. When TO the funeral ex-
pense doctors bills are added, and
when the combined sum keeps the
family In debt for two or three years,
unless charity comes to the rescue, the
pitiful absurdity of ii all becomes ev-
ident. The climax is reached when
friends and acquaintance of the fam
lily spend for hotho0se flowers, ar
ranged in ugly and inartistic ways,
enough money to pay for the funeral
or support the family for month.
The custom of heaping flowers on d
bew-made grave, or decorating tine
church with them, originated in sn
age when flowers were to be had for
the plueking. In its origin the tradi-
ton was beautiful and graceful. In
its present form it is grotesque. To
gather from the garden which young
girl tended blossoms fair as herself,
to lay in her hands and on her grave
was exquisite, poetic, and tender; to
60 to florist and order box of con
ventional dollhouse blossoms, arranged
by strangers, to be sent to the house
with a card, mas somehow a different
aspect. Many sensitive people have
positive distaste for white flowers, es-
peciaIly certain varieties, because OF
their funeral associations. Grief for
the dead is one of the last things
which should be connected with money
matters. a funeral Is no more dlgnl-
Red for being costly, and it ought to
be made possible to bury the dead IN
becoming manner without impover-
ishing the living, or filing the house
of sorrow with meaningless ''eni-
blems." In nine cases out Of ten such
gifts are merely a matter of form,
and represent regard for custom
rather than genuine feeling.