The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-10-15
A VoLUBLE VOWEL.
It Was Only a Dream, But It Taught
 a Lesson.


 St. Nicholas.
 "Ungrateful people! Oh. dear! Oh. dear!" piped a small voice. Tt is too bad! I am not going to stand 1t much longer. I'll just leave the English all phabet. I will and go over to France. where they try to pronounce me, even if it Is queerly."
 Helen, who was just starting for school. looked about her. Who was talking? There was certainly no one in the room. Hello" she cried, try ing not to feel scared. 'W-h-e-re- are you, and whats your name?" stammered Helen. T am the fifth vowel. and the way I am treated Is perfectly shameful. I could, excuse. the baby calling me 'oo,' " went on Master IT, with rising passion. but when men of letters are careless. 1t is too much! Letters. indeedr spite fully. They are hardly men of conso- nants. should transport them to Sibe- ria. or at least to Russia. and then they'd miss the vowels But it's just because we are a small family and use . full that we are so imposed upon. Sis ter E is really the only one of us they treat at all decently. She always works so much for them. And Sister they respect a little, though when I'm with her they turn and twist us all sorts of ways, especially if c and Fl. joins us."
 But what do they do to your" asked Helen. much interested in this long speech.
 Dol" screamed U. Why they slight me! I'm only safe in books, or when they call the roll, that Is to say the alphabet. Please spell duty"
 "D-u, doc, t-y, ty. dooty," said Helen. glibly.
 "oh.. of course:" bitterly Now spell tutor"
 "T-u, too, tor. tor, tooter."
 Yes. you are just as bad as the rest. Never give a fellow half a chance"
 What do you mean. anyway? Cant you explain?' asked Helen.
 U paused a moment. and then said firmly: "Of course I can. Take the word mute You've heard of that, I hope: Oh. you have! Well. do you call it 'mootr"
 "of course not" said Helen. with laugh.
 Then you have no right to call duty 'dooty;' or. when my double first cous- in W Is in a word with E, you certain ly shouldn't say 'noos' for news which ought to rhyme with pews. Do you understand?"
 Why. yes" said Helen. admiringly. Tt really doesn't seem fair, when you put 1t that way. does it? I must try and think of more" smiling.
 'T only ask justice" said U. plain lively: and as for thought" holding his head up proudly the highest cla sses in England and America all ways respect me. and linguists and el- ocutionists honor me- with emphasis.
 Tell me something about your fam ily-do!" urged Helen.
 An! I'm glad to see you are inter ested in us" said '. graclously. Well. let me see! We'll begin with brother A. as he's the head of the house. In the first place. our pedigree Is long one-way back to the old Romans. you know"
 ITO be sure--the Latin text" cried Helen. anxious to show she knew something.
 U nodded. "A, and o are the strongest of us. They often stand alone. But sister F is in everything nearly-quite intrusive, I think. How ever, as said. she is quite overworked. and cant help herself. poor .voweE But, to go on, brother 1 is an egotist- always strutting by himself. when he gets a chance. and swelling into a cap ital. E and myself never have a chance to be big. except when we lead a sen tence or begin a proper name. Then. there's sister O. the most emotional creature when she's alone. always sur prised or shocked or sorry or glad. And now for myself" complacently: TT m very dependent. you know, G guards me a good deal, and Q rarely quits me-he! he! Seer"