Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-06-24
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Dolly-Were you pleased when Char
ley proposed? Polly-Pleased? l
came pretty near giving him our col.
lege yell.-Puck.
Ned-It took me a long time to
make up my mind If man who specu-
lated IN stocks is fool. Ted-How
did you finally determine? Ned
speculated.-Town Topics.
Sonny" said the good old man,
I'm surprised that you should tease
that cat in that way" "Why," replied
the bad boy, pausing In his inhuman
work. do you know any better way?'
Philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Slap-What is the secret of Gill
diboy's success Miss Bang-Why. he
knew girl who spends a thousand a
year on dresses. Mr.. Slap-Ah, I see;
he married her? Miss Bang-Oh, no;
he married her dressmaker.-Comic
Cuts.
Young SWELL left letter on my
table when 1 went out. Where is it?
Valet-I hope you won't mind. sir.
sweetheart; SO posted it to her. Your
Christian name is the same as mine!-
it-Bits.
whats the matter, little boy?" ask
edy old Mr.. Goodart, what are you
crying for boo, hoo!" sobbed the
boy. boo, hoo" "Come, come! Don't
mind! Don't mindr' boo, hoo!
didn't, an that's what 1 was licked
fur." ur."-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Young Couple (who expect the visit
of very misery relative, from whom
they have expectations, are clearing
the room of every sign of luxury)
Wife earnestly must do all we
can to make uncle feel at home. Hus-
band (caustically)-Then we had bet
ter let the fire out.
Mamma, can God hear everything?"
Everything, Willie" "And is God al
ways happyT" always, Willie. Why
do you ask?" "Well, should think
it would make him suffer little to
hear what sister and that fellow of
hers are saying to each other in the
next room."-Smart Set.
Parker-What's wrong? You seem
worried. Streeter-I am. wrote two
notes-one to my broker asking him
If he took me for a fool, and the other
to Miss Golding asking her If she
would be mine. While was out some
body telephoned "Yes," and I don't
know which of 'em 1t was.
ed "a bride of six weeks)-And how
long will you be away, dearest? Mr..
ten days. Mrs. Newed
We'll, think I'll learn to cook while
you are absent. Mr.. Newed-That's
good idea. And I'll take the dog over
and leave him with one Of the neigh
Nellie (sympathetically)- poor
dear! What narrow escape! And
what started the horse? Gertie Gndig-
know, Will was
just helping me out Of the trap. and
the stupid horse could not tell the diff
ference between a-good-night-
and a signal to start. And he-start-
ed. Some horses have SO little
sense"
A girl forced by her parents into a
match with an old man,
whom she detested, when the clergy
man came to that part of the service
where the bride is asked If she con-
sents to take the bridegroom for her
husband, said, with great simplicity,
'Oh, dear, no, sir, but you are the first
person who has asked my opinion
about the matter"
The laundress' little daughter had
been allowed to peep into the dining
room, where the table was set for
Inner party. "And, mamma" she said
ater, "every plate had two forks by
It. What was that for?" "You don't
know the way Of your betters. child"
replied the laundress; ''the extra fork
IS in case they drop one on the floor"
Detroit Free Press.
French Maid Ito inquiring friends)-
oui, madame is ill, but ze doctor hat
pronounce it something very trifing,
very small. Friend-Oh, 1 am SO re-
ieved, for I was real anxious. What
loes the doctor say the trouble is
French Maid-Let me recall. 1t was
very leetle. Oh, oui, have
t now! Madame has ze smallpox
Woman's Home Companion.
1t was Mabers first appearance at
church and she was rather ddgety.
First she wanted one thing. then an
,ther, Finally she decided she must
lave a pin, SO she asked for one from
her father. he had none. Then she
ried her mother; but her mother, too,
had none. Mabel's longing had been
with her Ill success, SO she
climbed upon the pew and shouted at
The top of her small voice, HAS any
,ne in dis trowd dot q pin?"-Lppin-
.otrs.
Fussy Man hurrying into a news
paper objective lost my spectacles
and want to advertise for
them, but I can't see to write without
them, you know" Advertising Clerk