davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1904-06-09
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

It's always difficult to make tool
OF a sharp man.
Death Is one thing that never fails
to come to the man who waits
Nothing worries some men like the
expected troubles that never happen.
1t is folly to drum music into the
head of man who doesn't enjoy it.
Money makes the mare go until
man gets enough of it to buy an au-
tomobile.
A young MAN has too much con-
fidence in the girl he loves to believe
her when she says 'No."
With the advent of universal peace
there will be nothing left for the mill
tary man but marriage
It doesn't cost very much to think
as long as you don't back your cone
illusions with hard-eaned cash.-Chi,
cago Daily News
PERSONAL.
Miss Anna Cousins has broken the
record by riding tO. the top of Mount
Shasta, IA. 4A4 feet above the sea, on
a pony.
Doctor J. Morgan Read Of st, PauIs
Methodist Episcopal church, Atlantic
City, has been selected dean Of the
Pennington seminary.
Archmandrite Raphael Of New York
has been raised by the car to the rank
of bishop of Brooklyn, the second vicar
of the Aleutian diocese.
italian chemists propose to COM
memUrate the SEVENTEEN birthday of
Professor Ugo Schiff of Florence,
who has worked for forty years in
Italy.
Marvin SheareP, a one-armed man
of Akron, O., has made a clock Which
records hours in different cities, reg
listers changes in temperature and hui
midity and shows historical pictures.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1904-06-09
Excursion Tickets to wausau, wis

Via the Northwestern Line, will be
sold June 10, II and Is limited to re-
turn until June 30, account of Annual
Convention Fraterna1 Order of Eagles.
Apply to agents Chicago & North
Western Ry. OWLS
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1904-06-09

NEWS NOTES.

Wa11ace's circus will be in Racine
on June 20.
Mrs. L. c. Williams, of Paris, spent
Friday in Kenosha.
E. H. HOLSTER was Milwaukee
visitor Friday afternoon.
The old pipe on the peat beds in
Pleasant Prairie is going the rounds
again.
Mr. and Mrs. H. E. Baker, of Mil
waukee, spent Friday afternoon with
friends in Kenosha.
Miss Cora Graves of this city has
been elected to position in the hig h
school at Ironwood.
Oscar W. Taylor, of Pleasant Prairie,
has returned home after spending the
spring at Eau Ga11ie, Fla.
Norman Shearer is home from
Washington, d. c., for months va
cation from his duties in the Navy
department.
Charles Newhouse, who recently
underwent, an operation at the Pres
byterian Hospital in Chicago, is rap
idly improving.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
A World Wide Reputation.

Wherever men are there will be ilineso
and wherever people are III. Dodds Kid
ney Pills will be found q blessing. Sole
ly on their merits have they pushed their
way into almost every part Of the civil
ICED world. Their reputation a. s.n hon.
est medicine that can always be relied
on has been built up by the grateful
praise of those who have been cured.
how the reputation of this remedy knows
no geographical bounds. The sick and
suffering all over the world are asking
for Dodds Kidney Pills:
Dear Sirs: 1 have been suffering from
some months from Kidney complaint.
The doctor who attended me has recon-
mended me to take your Pills. "Dodds
Kidney Pills" After two boxes / got
some relief f.. But ~ unfortunately Gn tu,ss have
ment. being unable. to find any Pills in
Cairo The Chemist who sold me the
two boxes has informed me that he had
sent an 0sdey Gr ams been
month. This is the reason why am
writing to you to request you to have
the goodness to send me by return of
soon as l receive them from the post.
Kindly let me know at the same time
where your branch agency In Egypt is to
be found Thanking you in anticipation,
Mohamed reached. "Immeubles Libres de
IEtat," Office of. the Minister OF Finance.
Cairo. EGYPT.
Dear Sirs: I want to purchase six
boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills, but / don't
know exactly where to apply at Buffalo
or London. / suppose they can be sent
by express or registered mail from either
place. Please advise me of how to pro-
coed In order to get the pills without de-
lay. Yours truly, j. p. Simonson, VI
borg. v, Mark. DENMARK.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Where Trouble is Cheap

1t is probable that the Philippine
islands are more quantity enriched
with queer corners than any other Of
this country's foreign possessions.
Among the interesting spots that have
up to now escaped the hunter after
curious things might be mentioned the
little island of Santa Maria.
UP to short time ago here lived
an old datto, who had numerous pretty
wives; so old and ugly was the datto
and so pretty were the wives that the
latter INDUCED in affairs of the heart
when the former was not around.
Two of the wives in particular were
often to be seen driving around the
street, followed at respectable dis
lance by their lovesick Romeos.
One night there was a row in the
datto's harem, and the two wives mys-
teriously disappeared. This came to
the ears of the officer commanding the
American troops, and the datto was
asked to explain where the wives
were.
"They dead" he grunted, laconic-
ally.
what caused them to die at the
same time?"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

Head chopee off," was the terse
reply.
Another interesting little island is
Bengao, which is one of the southern
most of the Philippine group, being
only a few miles from British North
Borneo. Under the Spanish regime ii
was inhabited by mixed breed OF
murderous Moros, treacherous Malays
and others with dash of the piratical
blood of Borneo.
The American soldiers had consider.
able trouble with these people at the
beginning of the war. The pirates
stole everything that happened to be
lying loose, particularly guns; stabbed
men in the back merely as matter
of pirate principle, and when things
got a bit dull they turned to and
Smoked up" their own island.
The only time of real peace in the
place was when the pirates launched
their war canoes and put to sea armed
to the teeth. They usually returned a
week later with considerable quanti-
ties of loot and proceeded forthwith to
get gloriously drunk and raise more
trouble.-New York Herald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

Look pleasant, please. A long face
and frowning face don't help the
world along any. They depress it's
hopes and retard it's progress. Be-
sides that, the sour expression re-
fleets upon ourselves, for people don't
care much about the gloomy individ-
ual, whose presence brings sugges-
tions of graveyards and judgment days
and woes intermidable. He is given
the cold shoulder, while sunny people
are always welcomed.
There is another way in which the
habit of wearing dismal countenance
has reflex action it spoils good
looks and soon makes the frowner old.
Look in the mirror when you feel glad
and see how good looking you are.
Then look in while you are struggling
in that ancient, but very, very modern
slough of despond, and observe your
unattractiveness.
All emotions leave their traces on
the face. Jealousy, selfishness, sus-
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Reform of the Deacon

when up she rose and with whack
She took the Deacon in the back;
And after that, to his surprise.
She banged him in the nose and eyes.
The Deacon's wrath was changed to
fright
And trying to escape by fight.
She tripped him up, and on the floor
She pounded him a whole lot more.
And with each lick she made him swear
He never more would rip and tear.
Nor raise a row because she did
Not always do just as he bid
And goodness knows what might have
been
Had not the Doctor happened in.
That good man straightway stopped the
strife
And pacifed the Deacon's wife;
Then patched the Deacon up and said
Because she'd had a bad attack
VI thrashimitis, caused by lack
of proper treatment. kindly thought
And other things the Deacon ought
To know about. and so prevent
Recurrence of his punishment
Pursuant to the Doctors plan
The Deacon was different man.
And when his wife got on her feet
She was surprised and pleased to meet
With so much thoughtful kindness that
She hardly knew where she was at.
But never to his dying day
Did that good Doctor ever say
His tea" was Irish whisky, which
In fighting qualities is rich.
]. hampton. in New York Herald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

4 young man who had. espoused a
modern and radical religious faith
was much distressed by the ridicule of
his acquaintances. Smarting under
tNelr derision, he sought a wise old
man, and after explaining the situa-
ton asked
What attitude am l to preserve
when attacked on the subject Of my
convictions? People will neither let
me alone nor meet me in fair argu-
ment. Instead, they make me the
butt of jests. of so unwarranted a
nature that it would be a towards
part to ignore Them
advice in such case is hard to
give" replied the old man. But
can tell you a true story of Socrates
which may be of help to you.
"The philosophers ascendency in
Athens incurred the hatred of persons
who were least qualified to antagonize
him on his own ground of ethics.
These detractors had resource to ridi-
Guile. Chief among them was the
eminent poet aristophanes, who pro-
duced merciless satire at the thea
ter, intended to make Socrates the
laughing stock of the entire city. The
name of the drama in Greek is equiva-
leat to The Man in the Clouds Socra-
ties was represented as hanging in a
basket in the air and giving utterance
to pedantic absurdities. In modern
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

The Deacon was pious man
Who did much harm, as some men can,
BY being good in thought. and not
In daily doing; which Is what
Is one way Satan handles sin
TO guarantee that 1t will win.
His good wife was a woman who
Had strength, but lacked the spirit TO
Assert her rights as equal, and
She always bowed to his command,
Despite her friends who tried to show
Her how to make the Deacon go.
At last the family Doctor said
That wheels were in the Deacon's head,
But he could bring him round all right
II she would help with all her might;
Which she was more than willing to
II ne would tell her what to do.
The Doctor told her she must take
A tonic for her nerves, to make
Her equal to her task: and he
Prepared a pint of tonic tea,"
A mixture which he promised would
BE sure to do a power of good.
She took 1t at one dose. and then
The Doctor said he'd call again,
And went away. The Deacon came
An hour later "Fie! For shame,
No supper ready"-and he tore
Around like mad and almost swore,
AS he was wont to do when she
Did not have things just quite as he
Insisted that they ought to be.
She listened for a moment, then
He started in to rave again,
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Sprinu Fever.

Spring fever is simply "that tired feel.
ing" lassitude caused by q sluggish con.
dition Of the blood. The liver and bowels
need cleaning out in the spring and moth.
ing is so effective and at the same time Sc
pleasant to take as DR.. CaldweIl's Syrup
Pepsin.
Too many people make the skin do the
work that the bowels and kidneys should
do. A bilious, constipsted condition means
yellow skin, lusterloss eyes, foul breath,
and general worn out feeling. All this
can be remedied by the use of DR.. Caldwell's
Laxative) Syrup Pepsin, which is sold by
all druggists and dealers in medicine.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
A RuSe of Socrates

parlance. the play was hit Peo-
pie who had failed to apprehend the
philosophers teachings-even some
who understood and revered him
were infected by the spirit Of the bur-
lesque and had laugh at his expense.
The humor of the thing was thought
irresistible, and all Athens held its
sides and guffawed with Aristophanes.
The performance was often repeated.
Then one day Socrates himself
came to witness the play. His pres
ence added greatly to the amusement
of the audience, and the occasion was
one of rare delight to those VINO
wished him i'll. The mirth was at its
height when the philosopher rose and
walked quietly to conspicuous place,
where he remained standing while the
farce continued. A startling contrast
was presented to the audience. On
the one hand the real Man in the
Clouds, silent, with unruffled dignity
and serene composure, opposing the
nobility of patience to ignorant con-
tempt; on the other hand the apish
and malicious imitator. No voluble
defiance, no eloquence of denuncia-
ton could have matched this simple
object lesson. Again, to use modern
parlance, Athens 'tumbled to ITSELF
Socrates name was shouted no long
er in derision but with storm Of
applause, and the audience would not
permit the farce to proceed"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
The World Needs Smiles

picion, discomfort, or any violent, I'M
worthy feeling leaves it's lines and
ruins beauty. Joy and love and conf
dence stamp the countenance with Sc
renity and loneliness, says the Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
No one can feel happy all the time.
There come days when discourage
ment gets the upper hand, or when
sorrow has crushed the joy out of life.
But the thing to do is to fight against
carrying the darkness of the heart on
the face. Fight it down. Smile. If
you can't do that, at least resolve not
to frown. Remember, the darkest
night turns to dawning, so resolute-
ly turn up the corners of your mouth.
And here's whisper of certain truth:
The sooner you can smile over it, the
quicker the darkness will vanish! Ev-
erything and everybody conspires to
remove clouds from the sunny person.
The universe cannot afford to miss his
smiles.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
WHAT THE KING EATS.
What's Fit for Him.

A Mass. lady who has been through
the mill with the trials Of the usual
housekeeper and mother relates an
interesting incident that occurred not
long ago. She says:
Il can with all truthfulness say that
Grape-Nuts is the most beneficial of
all cereal foods in my family, young
as we'll as old. 1t is food and medl-
cine both to us. A few mornings ago
at breakfast my little boy said:
"'Mamma, does the King eat Grape
Nuts every mornings?
IT smiled and told him I did not
know, but that thought Grape Nuts
certainly made delicious dish. fit for
q King" Cts fact that the King of
England and the German Emperor
both eat Grape-Nuts.)
81 find that by the constant use Of
Grape-Nuts not only as morning ce-
real but also in buildings, salads, etc.,
made after the delicious recipes found
in the little book in each package it
is proving to be great nerve food
for me besides having completely
cured a long standing case Of indiges-
ton" Name given by Postum Co.,
Battle Creek, Mich.
There is no doubt Grape-Nuts Is the
most scientific food in the world.
Ten days trial Of this proper food
in place of improper food will show in
steady, stronger nerves. sharper brain
and the power to go" longer and
further and accomplish more. There's
q reason.
Look in each pkg. for the famous
little book. The Road to Wellville."
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Beware of OintmentS for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury.

and completely derange the whole system when
entering It through the mucous surfaces. Such
articles should never be used except on prescrip.
tions from reputable physicians, as the damage they
will do Is ten fold 10 the good you possibly de-
rive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure manufactured
by F. j. Cheney Co., Toledo, o., contains mer.
curry, and Is taken internally, acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces Of the system, In
buying Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the
genuine. 1t Is taken internally and made in Toledo,
Ohio, by F. J. Cheney & Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists. Price, 15c. per bottle.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Cost of Torpedoes.

Since the war began in the Orient
and so much has been printed about
torpedoes, many people have asked in
amazement why those implements
should cost so much. A good torpedo
made to order comes as high as
$4,000. Even ready made torpedoes
are by no means cheap, as they cost
$500 apiece at Wholesale rates.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
lonu-lived Trio.

There died in Paris recently Count
Emile de Keratry, who could boast
that his grandfather, born in 1899.
was q page in the household Of Louis
XIV. The former page married his
second wife at 70 years Of age and
had a son, who was Emile's father.
He was born In 1857 and lived till
1862. Three lives bridged 205 years.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

Eight hundred tons of sulphur were
used in France last year in making
matches. The daily consumption was
three per head Of the population.
Match making Is monopoly Of the
French government to which it yields
an annual revenue of 100000.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Superstition In Korea.

No Korean couple would think OF
marrying without consulting the sage.
This he does simply by adding the
brides age to the bridegroom's, and,
after determining which star rules the
destiny of their united ages, he de-
crees that the wedding shall take
place upon the day sacred to that
star
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Japanese Servants.

The Japanese women have no ser
want problem to solve, simply because
they do not look down on servants as
such. Visitors bow as low to servants
as to their mistress, and II the mis-
tress is away the servants serve tea
and entertain the visitors.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

You never hear any one complain
about Defiance Starch" There is
none to equal it in quality and guam
tity, 16 ounces, 10 cents. Try it now
and save your money.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
You never see some girls that they
do not have a dress suit case and Q
man with them.
The Worlds Fair,

In making your arrangements for
the Worlds Fair at st. Louis this
summer, If you consider convenience
and saving Of time, you will take the
Wabash Railroad as it runs by and
stops at its Station at the entrance of
the Fair Grounds; thus saving sew
eral miles run and return, and the in
evitable jam at he big Union Station.
BY all means consider the advantages
of the Wabash
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
TRY One Package.

II Defiance Starch" does not
please you. return 1t to your dealer.
II It does you get one-third more for
the same money. It will give you
satisfaction, and will not stick to the
iron.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Values Edison's Note.

An old acquaintance of Edison's
seeking employment secured note of
introduction from the inventor to the
assistant general manager of the tele-
graph company. "My Dear -" the
note ran, "This will introduce Mr..
-, who was train dispatcher on the
Grand Trunk when was a peanut
conductor. Edison. The man was so
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
WiaaIe.stick LAUNDRY BLUE

Won't spill, break, freeze nor spot clothes.
Costs 10 cents and equals 20 cents worth OF
any other bluing. If your grocer does not
keep it send 10c for sample to The Laundry
Blue Co., IA Michigan Street, Chicago.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
eentenarlan's Progeny.

Nine. Levacher, who lives at Mont
Morency. near Paris. is one hundred
years old, has eighty-five living de-
scendants, and has lived In the same
house all her life.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

Germany's Export to Africa.
Germans chief exports to her Afrf.
can colonies consist in spirituous
liquors.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

It's just the irony of fate to nave
wind in the warming weather.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

Some people never have good luck.
not even in starting out as the first
grandchild.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Cripple Creek OUTPUT,

The gold output of the Cripple
Creek district. in Colorado, for the
month of March, 1904, as compiled
from the mill and smelter returns,
was $1.746.000.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

II a man is rich enough, no girl, in
the opinion of her parents, is too
young to marry.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

Defiance Starch is put up IS ounces
in a package, 10 cents. One-third
more starch for the same money.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

proud of it that he never presented II
for fear it might pass from his hands
forever
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

Treasure Long Unclaimed.
The Bank Of England contains sill
yer ingots which have lain in vaults
since 1895.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Anent Cork.

All the cork used in the world in q
year weighs little over one thou
sand tons.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

A cozy corner is a place for the
hired girl to sweep dirt into.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Power.

To have what we want is riches, but
to be able to do without Il, power
George Macdonald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

According to physician drunken
ness is voluntary illness.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Ireea In Paris

A municipal return gives the num-
Der of trees belonging to Paris as o.
<58.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Fish In the Sea,

Every square mile Of sea is ssti.
mated to contain some 10000, 900
fish,
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27
Compositlon of Chalk,

Composition Of Chalk.
The great bulk Of chalk is COM
posed of eight different species Of tiny
shells.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

IF YOU USE BALL BLUE,
Get Red Cross Ball Blue, the best Ball Bluo
Large 3 OF. package only cents.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

Defiance Starch is guaranteed big
gest and best or money refunded. 16
ounces, 10 cents. Try 1t now.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1904-05-27

The soft snap is generally hard to
find.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1904-03-16
YOUNG LADY HANGED HERSELF
False Accusation Caused Girl to Take
Her Own Life.

Walnut Ridge, Ark, March 16.-
Ellen Mcmillan, an eighteen-year-old
girl living about two miles from this
place, committed suicide Saturday af-
ternocn by hanging herself. 1t is
stated that the young lady was de-
spondent because she had been ac.
cused of causing the separation CT
a man and his wife in that neighbor-
hood. This report against the young
lady is said to be untrue, but she had
become despondent on account of the
charge. The young lady climbed upon
table and after tying fishing cord
around her neck and fastening it to
the ceiling kicked the table aside and
was choAed to death.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1904-03-16
JUDGE WOODS DATES.

Judge Carroll d. Wood will address
the people of Ashley, Bradley and
Drew counties during the last week
of the campaign, as follows:
Crossett, Tuesday, March 20, at 7:30
p. M; Hamburg, Wednesday, March
70, at l p. M; Warren, Thursday,
March q, at 1 p. M; Wilmar, Thurs
day, March "a, 1870 p. M; Monticello
Friday, March 25, at 1 p. m.
Judge Wocd says in his announce
ment: Il have asked Gov. Davis to
meet me in joint debate upon condi-
ton that he remain and hear me
after he has spoken. The debate is
not joint and is very unfair unless tn g
IS done. | now challenge Gov. nay. $
or any representative of his to mecr
me at these appointments up,.a tn $
condition"