The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1904-11-23

AesOlSeu 10 suspend LT6MC generally on
the road till they paid some attention
to her. For this purpose she secured
an old red flannel shirt, and hitching
it on the end of an ak helve, began to
flag all the trains going up the grade
industriously.
"You killed my muley COW, and
you've got to pay for her." she said,
when the trains came to a standstill.
Il won't take less'n SGT for her." 1t is
not necessary to state what the train
hands said.
The railroad men finally didn't pay
any attention to her red flag at all, so
far as stopping went, but as nobody
knew just when she might decide to
do something serious, like piling up
stone wall on the track, for instance,
they watched that flag with consider
able curiosity.
And at last she did decide to do
something. 1t was one Tuesday night.
She put the boy to bed early; then she
prepared for action.
Filling two buckets from the half
barrel of soft soap always kept on tap,
and taking a bucket. in each hand, Mrs,
Bilger started out into the dark, and
walked half a mile up the grade. Then
she artistically applied her soft soap
to about quarter of a mile of the
track.
The next train was freight due
from the east about nine o'clock. She
was late that night, and she came
down that grade for all she knew how.
When she struck that soft soap she
slid ahead like comet rollicking
through space; the engine rocked from
side to side like a steam launch in
storm. The engineer saw there was
something wrong in minute, and
whistled clown brakes" ferociously.
The brakemen put on enough power
on the brakes to lift her right off the
tracks and hold her suspended in the
air, but she just plunged ahead through
the darkness, squirting soft soap on
all the surrounding landscape.
tits that blamed Bilger woman
again!" yelled the engineer to the fire.
man. whats she done now?"
ooh, my Cod" said the fireman,
thinking of his family; chow do I
know?"
Then they both held onto the sides
Of. the Keeling cab and hoped hard.
The engineer swore arpeggios to sort
of running obligato on the whistle.
The train went by the station like a
demoniac steam calliope escaped from
a circus, with a frightened train hand
hanging on the brake of every other
car. When they finally stopped, two
miles down the road, the engineer said
he never had such an awful feeling in
his life-only he didn't say it that way.
The fireman was quite seasick.
The worst Of 1t was, they didn't have
the least idea what allied them, because
by that time all the soft soap was worn
off the wheels. They hadn't the time
| to look around, anyway, because they
had to get down on the next siding for
the through ten o'clock passenger
train.
The express was extra heavy that
night, and the engineer had a horri-
bic rate of speed on her when she
reached the grade. Nevertheless, when
she struck it she stopped short within
two lengths. To the wild dismay of
the engineer, the big drivers of his
engine just whirled around and around
like top. The engine couldn't get up
that grade any more than a man can
lift himself by his boot straps. Final
ly the engineer stopped her and he and
the fireman got out to investigate. Up
the grade in front of the engine the
rails, in the beams of the headlight,
| stretched in two strangely glistening
lines.
by thunder!" exclaimed the fire.
man, STOPPING down; otis soft soap"
"Now will you pay me for my muley
cow" said voice from the darkness.
''If you don't, you'll never run your
darned road again."
| 1t was Mrs. Bilger. Her price had
risen to $87.
1t SO happened that very impor-
| tant person was on this train, no less
important person, in fact, than the
president of the road. He was in a
hurry, too, and he came out of his spe-
| cial car to see what was going on, just
as Mrs Bilger arrived on the scene.
well, what's the matter here?" said
the president.
Soft soap, sir" said the excited en-
gineer; this woman's been daubing
up the track with soft soap SO we
can't run the train, because she had
her darned COW killed and they won't
pay for it,
Eyes, they will" said Mrs. bigger;
'and it'll cost 'em sS7-not cent
less"
Mrs. Bilger felt she was in posi-
ton to dictate, and she proposed to
do so. The railroad president appre-
ciated the situation.
We'll, my good woman" said he,
don't you think you'd compromise for
a little less-say $75?"
"Who are you?" said Mrs. Bilger,
haughtily.
We'll, I'm president of this road,'
said the great official.
"Well, then, want $S7 for my muley
cow" said Mrs Bilger, land you don't