New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-04-16
LETTERS OF AN OLD MAID.
XIII.
To A YOUNG MAN.

Dear John: did not TO accuse you Of "su-
perior airs" believe the expression I used was
that young men their superiority for grantee
to such extent rouse the suspicion at times
that they very far from superior. II didn't
say that. I used words 20 that effect IA phrase
which considered very humorous about gem
Grafton less ago). The above comment upon
young men. however. was a general remark. rather
than n personal accusation. 1t caught my fancy.
and believe used II several occasions. "a am
apt to co when I think have discovered a bit
Of truth or invented neat expression Ono must
make the most OF ones little spasms OF originality
AS to the personal application, think you are IN
usually free from egotism for q young man. That
will do for n beginning. Having taken Il IN. you
viii be the more disposed 90 consider my eXplana-
ton OF the general proposition.
Every one is more less egotistical or conceited
TO use the current expression. The art is. 20
ceal it gracefully. Nobody likes to have nnother's
self-conceit waved in his face it WERE Ike
campaign banner. II you carry your cOnceit
you Will never be accused OF having Il = you viii
# like your hair. skin. rather than like al
Ill fitting garment I know people devoid OF the
sense of humor that they can talk long and seri-
ousy OF their own good qualities and good deeds
or worse. Of their own personal attractions.
1 have heard this course advocated. on the
ground that people sure to take you at your
own valuauonlI You Will appreciate the double
exclamation point. because you will sec the alb
surdity OF that idea quite clearly do. And
yet IT is possible to go to the other extrems and
depreciate yourself. which is also bad policy Nina
times on. OF ten too It IL inslncere. and is there
fore bad morals.
AS to the conceit of young men, IT has always
been my theory that they have 1t because they
need It. a porcupno is furnished with quilts.
Young men forced to some definite accomplish
ment and the world treats all beginners SO cruelty
that their self-esteem Is not little out OF pro-
portion it will be crushed out Of existence Abb
very truly tn1t you St nave noneb 700 20 oT
Will Tba NAL Df Is a
v3nfapes Of bovh"od the tbnurbt that he is a man
goes TO his head and intoxicates him. don't
wonder very much: it would have gone to mine!
He knows that he must do something-be some
body-or do nothing and be nobody there is very
little margin between. And II he be healthy in
mind ana body, OF course he Is possessed with the
idea that he be almost anything, and that his
capabilities are already showing themselves. So
much for start; then the worlds cruelty. of which
/ spoke, comes in. 1t buffets him, hings him.
scorn You must know that: every boy knows 1t:
but II he is worth half that he thought he was. he
have It hard. John! The woman who doesn't know
that is herself blinded with egotism that her
straw for a woman who does not pity, and yet
admire brave boy. seeiIg his efforts and self
easily deceived: they pitv the seIf-pitier, and sian
who don't know courage and capacity when they
1t msy be for the best that all people arc hard
beginners. don't know. but IL it is so. II doesn't
alter the cruelty OF It. Women must meet It also
those women who try TO do anything in the world
7 once heard successful express his
FOR ''fedgngs' Good heavensl was he never q
nedgling himsef2 Why do the people who have
arrived" stand in solid phaIanx and try to throw
down the climbers? or course there honorable
exceptions Please be an honorable exception, when
you arrivci
If did not think that you were already arriving
/ would not write to YOU in this way. 1t would be
too discouragng. Nor would these things to
a coward. a weaklins. egotisI Whatever I
say to man call friend. to a strong man.
For IN spite of all my bravado (which is quite
necessary assure vou). am TOO abJecty feminine
TO like any other kind OF man. I only pity the
weaker sort, for they have 4 double burden 10
carry-their destiny and themselves. In the belief
that you strong enough TO carry your destiny
without dragging yourself after am your stanch
friend. PRISCILLA