The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-03-06

the boys" in the naughty city OF New
York. These two gentlemen possessed
metaphysical identity with each other
and alternate existence. When James
Olson of the little city went to the metro
polls to purchase goods, James Olson
of the naughty city received his letters
and answered them; In particular, letters
from Mrs. Olson OF the little city, in reply
TO which he insisted, very properly, on his
eagerness to return to the delights of her
society and added certain instructions
demonstrating that even during his abb
sence his thoughts were OF the moral
welfare of that community. In return ter
these courtesies in the metropolis, when
james Olson of the small city revisited
his accustomed office it was his practice
to sign and forward to the naughty city
certain checks in payment OF bills which
his metaphysical double had contracted.
One evening James Olson OF the
naughty city found himself possessed OF
a roll of "greenbac<s' and OF a handsome
watch, which bore striking resemblance
to a gift officially and oratoncally pre-
sented in February, 1S-, by the Chamber
of Commerce and the Bankers Assocla-
ton of the other city to their eminent
and universally honored and esteemed
fellow citizen, James Olson. The roll
of greenbacks James Olson Of the naughty
city diminished from time to time IN the
course of the evening with the manner
and gesture of MISUNDERSTANDING
The watch he consulted toward o clock
in the morning with an intellectual in
tensity and decided that he had made
night of it and would take a Turkish
hath. When he had emerged from the
bath and had breakfast, he remembered
that he had an appointment in Newark
at the hour of 10 and that the ideal way
to GO to that place is to take the trolley,
which he did.
Burke Ryan was a gentleman who took
his fun where he found it and to whom
the universe owed living. In the inter
walls of his pleasures he collected what
the universe owed him: and if he dis
covered it for the most part in the peck
cts of other people, so much the worse
for the other people. A man has right
to his own.
At the time when James Olson was
making a night of it, Burke Ryan saw
his watchchain, and surmised his watch
and took stock of his roll of bills and
his manner and gesture OF nevermind-
the change.
When Olson entered the bathhouse,
Burke also entered it. He had not
wanted a Turkish bath, but he took one.
What he really wanted was to touch
the little sum which was coming to him
and to go TO bed. When Olson fingered
at Breakfast, Burke also fingered at
breakfast, though with growing impa-
thence at the prolix etiquette of modern
times.
when Olson entered the trolley car
Burke also entered it and took a place
beside him. although he had no business
whatever in the city TO which that gen
tleman was going. When Olson slept his
watch transferred to Burke S Waistcoat;
when Olson woke he discovered IN his
trousers pocket the two longest and dett-
est fingers of Burke's right hand. Burke
was at once so obliging as to withdraw
the fingers and with them the remnant
OF Dison's roll Of bills.
Olson seized Burke by the shoulder
aud spoke his mind with vigor and ldiom.
There were two women and twenty men
III the car The two women expressed the
Judgment of their sex upon the situation
lnarticulately, each at the top OF her
voice; the twenty men with one impulse
lurched toward Burke. Burke produced
a remarkably handsome razor, to which
he called Dison's attention and the atten-
tion of everyone in the car. Everybody,
Olson in particular evinced a sudden in
terest In reaching the street; they fell
over themselves i'll their eagerness; the
women forgot even to scream, and one OF
them forgot the way to the door and used
the window The last to desert his place
was the motorman, whom Burkes APP
proach seemed to afflict with acute IN
sanity. AS a preliminary to jumping off
he turned on the full current, and when
the car bounded forward at full speed
he leaped. He did not wait to hold by
the handles and steady himself before
his touched the ground; he just natural
ly got off and did gymnastics. When
he was picked up afterward he explained
that he had been in a hurry.
Stop Theft yelled the chorus in the
road.
Go to hcll! grinned Burke
Find telephone said one of the
crowd, while another called on a man on
a bicycle to 'catch that car" and ex
planned that there was a thief on it.
When they explained also the nature of
guessed he was tired and that they
might catch the car themselves. I"If any
of you gentlemen wants the loan of my
wheel he can have It," he said gener-
ously; "but for me-today's Friday; it's
always bad luck for me to catch stolen
trolleys on Friday" None of the gen
tlemen wanted the loan of his wheel.
Burke left the trolley soon. In front
of the one house visible stood horse and
buggy, which he halted the car to Dor
row, saying that he needed them in his
business. minute afterward he had dis
appeared.
Meantime James Olson discovered that
he had lost his watch.
When James Olson of the naughty city
discovered that he had lost his watch,
the first step he took in regard to it was
admirable. The first step, to be Irish,
was to stand still and mediate on what
his metaphysical double should say to
Mrs. Olson of the other city; in particlar
if the affair should reach the newspapers
and the omniscient reporter should en-
ploy his inalienab1e right of pertinent