davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

here an carried on somethin' awful,
worse than the widest man from Dor.
neo you ever seen, an offerin' every
thin to everybody if they'd only tell
him how he could outwit the mayor.
an jest then l had sorte an idear So
/ says to him, Say l says, Nose
Johnson's lynn dead this mint, waitin
for the poor board to bury him, Moso
always bein' shiftless, thoughtiess,
no-'count kind of a feller.'
"'I wish ii was the mayor snaps
Mr.. Circus. What of it,?
Well, I says, Il dunno as there's
any ordnance regulatin' funerals, or
permit got to be got for the same. Do
l get that contract for feedin the ami.
mals?' says.
"'You do says the circus man, his
face lightir s up like a transparency
Set EN- up for the house, an then
come and show me where Johnsons
abode is
cat first the disconsolatc wilder
stood out for a full suit of mournin'-
dress, shoes, stockin's, bonnet, veil, an
all the fixin's-but finally she compro
missed on Grape veil an pass to the
show an seat on the band.wagon.
"Accordin', right on the time adver.
tised, along down the street past the
mayors Office came a hearse, with
Johnson reposin' peacefully in it, an
the circus follerin in all its glory. with
crowlin' an carryin' on, each in his
the red an gold glitterin', an the ele.
plants trumpetin', an the lions roarin',
an the hyenas laughin', an the rest of
the menagerie howlin' an gruntin' an
particular style, an the band playin
sometimes a funeral march to jig
time an sometimes A Hot Time in
the Old Town to funeral march time
an the horses prancin', an the ladies
smirkin, an the chariots rumblin', an
the clowns GRIMM, an the men smil
in, an the steam pianner tootlin'
hymn tunes with variations, an the
circus man a-straddlin' dancin' pic
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
DOOM OF GREAT SALT LAKE.
Scientists Say It Will Dry Up Within
Half a Century.

Statistics indicate that Great Salt
lake, the Dead sea of America, is
doomed-that it is gradually drying
up. The opinion now almost UNIVERSAL
ly prevails among scientists that this
mysterious body of water, located at
an altitude of 4,210 feet above the sea
level and 1000 miles inland, and
which has but single rival, the Dead
sea of Palestine. is certain within the
course of a half century to disappear
from the map. Some scientists, who
have made careful study of the fiuc-
tuations OF the lake for the past sever
al years, even declare that it will be
dried up within a quarter of a GEN.
tury.
Sixteen years ago, in 1886, the area
Of the lakes surface was estimated at
about 300 square miles. Taking
twenty feet as the average depth at
that time, one may estimate 1906
433 100000 cubic feet as the contents
of the lake. To-day, according to re-
cent surveys, the lake has an area Of
about 2,125 square miles. Multiplying
this number by 111s, the number of
feet in depth of the water that has dis
appeared and not been replaced, gives
669, IT'S, 100000 cubic feet as the guam
tity of water less than what the lake
had sixteen years ago.
Observers of the lake have assigned
three causes for the shrinkage of its
water. They are evaporation, irriga-
tion and subterranean outlet that
some suppose to exist. There are ar
dent advocates of each Of these theor.
ipg
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

bald stallion, lookin proud an serene
an happy.
MY socks, wasn't it tho mayors
turn to be mad. He came rushin' out
of his office like a crazy man on the
loose, an catchin' hold Of the brides
of the horses pullin' the hearse, showed
them right spang back on their
launches.
What's the meanin' of this here?'
shouted the circus man, ridin' up pre-
tendin' to be terribly shocked. What
do you mean by interferin' in this out
rageous way with my old friend MIR.
Johnson's funeral, you old grave-rob.
Der your
'Wha-at?' gasps the mayor.
I'll have you know that we're per.
formln' our sad duty OF attendin' our
late lamented friends remain to their
last restin place, you irreverent old
body snatcher. Amt we, Mrs. John
SOM says the circus man, pleasant as
basket OF chips.
Yes. you be" chirps the forlorn
wilder, from where she was munehin'
peanuts an popcorn besides the bass.
drum in the band-wagon.
Well. sir, the mayor was pig-headed
about some things, but he realized in.
stanter that he didn't Lave no authori-
ty to stop a funeral in full career, So
all he could do was grind his teeth, an
froth considerable at the mouth, an
hope somethin'd turn ND that'd give
him a chance at that circus man while
that parade followed Johnson all over
town. An they. didn't shirk Johnson
none. either. but finally went ahead
an planted him to the tune of Where
Was Moses When, the Light Went
Outg There was the biggest crowd at
that funeral that ever attended such a
melancholy event in this town.
"Au' that's why" concluded the
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
A Mothers Love.

Emma Coffeen. wife of Selby Cof-
feen, was drowned near AlIendale re-
sort, Gull lake, Saturday Her IL
year-old son, Winnie, was bathing and
got into deep water where he stran-
gled. The mother rushed into the
water to save him and succeeded for
time, then went down herself a mo-
ment later. The boy was saved by men
in boat, but the woman had sunk
and no one present could swim. Mar
tin f. Brown, editor of the Battle
Creek Moon, soon arrived, and, after
diving a few times, he grasped the
body and brought II to the surface.
The water was only eight feet deep.
The Coffeen family resides at Battle
Creek, and Mr.. Coffeen runs on a
Grand Trunk train. This is the first
accident at the lake this season.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

y mysterious explosion on the farm
OF &. ". Luce in Franklin township
at ) o'clock in the morning caused
mach excitement. The explosion occur
red In Il building now used as tool
louise and wagon house bur formerly
used as cider mill. and was so great
that both ends of the building were
blown out and the entire neighbor.
hood awakened. The explosion was
followed by fire which consumed the
building before anything could be saw
cd. In tue building was can of turpen-
tine and barrel of linseed oil. hut
just how they figured in the explo-
sion cannot be solved
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
He Mas in a Hurry.

We were waiting for a train at a
station in the country. The station
agent combined the offices of train
master, express agent, telegraph op-
orator and the rest. He looked wise
when you asked him a question, but
he wasn't.
Does the next train carry a dining
carr" we asked.
Wal" he said, looking for a wide
crack in the platform before he
emptied an overload of tobacco juice
from between his teeth. Il can't jes'
rightly say. | amt never TUX much
interest in them cyars."
Does it stop at Swamptown?' was
the next question. The agent was
clearly uncertain on this point.
"Well, when is it due?" we asked,
anxious to learn if he was certain of
anything about the train.
oval, hits due at haf-pas' or haf-
pas TO. furgit which," he replied.
Il kinder open up bout an hour after
dinner and set aroun' till dark. Hit
don't make much difference to me
when she comes"
Good Lord, man, don't you know
anything about the trains through
your own station?" we asked in des-
peration.
Wal, now" he said, and it was
easy to see that his feelings were
wounded; yer might give er teller or
chanst to larn. ! amt had this job
but three weeks. Nashville Banner
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
Wears Larae Shoes.

/. There is a New York barber who
wears a number 12 shoe. He was a
sergeant in the German army, noted
for his stability. He has brother in
the old country whose foot is so big
that no ready made shoe can be found
to fit him. When he needs a new pair
Of shoes he buys a side of leather and
sends for a shoemaker, who fashions
his footgear at home. His foot is the
largest in all Germany, about number
II i'm size
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
Don't Carry CHARS.

desire to suggest to cigar smok-
crs:
Don't, at this time of the year, or,
in fact, at any time, carry one or sew
eral cigars in the left or right upper
waistcoat pocket. The body is rare
absorbent, and, especially in summer,
with vide open pores, If tobacco is in
close contact, there is likely to be an
absorption Of its principles which will
result in vertigo. faintness and per-
haps worse.
Enjoying the best of health, could
not account for some very peculiar
sensations at times which gave me the
utmost alarm. Even in bed | would
experience something approaching q
sinking spell traced the cause to
my habit of carrying cigars 10 my
waiatcoat pockcts.-New York Times,
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
Eternal.

Since the star Sirius crossed the Milky
Way
IT'S but single point in space and
time
The sixty thousand years but yesterday
That seems to us SO vast and so sub
lime.
There Is no measure for tho infinite,
The Past, the Now, the Future are as
one;
Through sixty million of our years the
Light
Ras flown through space from thai
great central sun.
There never was time there was nc
light,
Or When Creation work was first be.
gun.
No time when Thought, tho act of Mind
In fight,
Did not outstrip the swiftest light OF
j. T. Daggett.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
Copyright by shortstory
By ALEX ANDEP PICkET IS

AS sat on the porch talking desul.
tOrily with the iandlord-the wide.
xoomy porch. with the wobbly, creaky,
comfortable, splint-bottomed rocking
chairs, of the old tavern, not the 'pi-
axZa" OF the garish new hotel, which
the younger generation point to pride
fully as stamping with an outward ana
visible sign the villages evolution into
a city, happened to mention-Ive
forgotten exactly how it came into my
mind-having seen Gen. Grants run
gral.
"Humph!" observed the landlord,
zontemptuously. "You oughterve seen
Nose Johnson's funeral il you wanter
gay you've seen a funeral. Eth, tel'
.iers?"
An appreciatiye chucllle circulated
among the rest of the loungers, and
apurred me into asking. why"
~"Cause it was worth seem" ex-
yyained the landlord, scraping vigor-
ously with his jack-knife at the turnip
with which he was refreshing himself
Whenever any of you out-of-town
~YelIers comes round here braggin'
about your gorgeous mortuary page
Rnts, like them Gen. Grants obsequies
you jest mentioned" he added. after
GhoughtfulIy selecting a new point of
attack upon the turnip. cit don't Tease
as any, We jest nudge each other IN
an unassumin' way. an say He
oughter've seen Nose Johnson's fun
eral.' 1t was plenty of panoramer for
simply country folks like us.
What was it? How was it remark
able?" / asked, curiously.
'"Oh, dunno as 1t was anyways re-
markable, except out here in the
country. Mebbe you fellers that live
in big cities are used to them" replied
the landlord, cautiously.
"Well, let me hear about it. and 1
can tell BETTER" l urged.
"Then, TO begin at the beginnin'. :"
began the landlord, clearing. reluctant
" apparently. for action by depositing
the turnip, with his knife stuck up
right in 1t, on the porch railing. 1T
was all on account of an ord nance
we've got here providin' that there
sha'n't be any parades unless the may
or gives a permit for it. Last year
when the circus struck town we had
cross grained, grabbed old Teller for
mayor, an when the circus man went
10 get permit for his parade he got
turned down.
az want a permit to parade. says
the circus man.
"'You cant have It. says the mayor.
"Td like to know why I can't says
the circus man.
""Cause circuses are demoralizin'
an indecent inventions of the devil for
90 lead the young an unwary onter de-
struction, en- consequently l don't APP
prove OF them says the mayor.
"Nothin' of the kind says the cir
Gus man. I'll have you know that
mine is a great moral and instructin'
show thatIl benefit an uplift any com.
munity, an especial any old moth-eat-
en- fossil like you
$50 the two of them had it bacll an
forth, hot an heavy. The circus man
begin, an the mayor refusin'; the
circus man threatenin', an the mayor
Clefyin' him; the circus man pleadin'
an the mayor sittin' obstinate: the
circus man gettin madden an madden.
ien' the mayor not budgin' an inch: the
circus man cussin'. and the mayor
finin' him seventy-ive cents per cuss
until the upshot of 1t all was that
the circus man had to leave without
vthe permit, but swearin' he'd parade In
spite Of all the mayors an permits In
creation, while the mayor was yowin'
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
Lost Finger and Ring.

Dugan Thompson, OF Dawson, went
to the ice house to get some ice. After
throwing out chunk he jumped from
the door to the ground rather than to
climb down the ladder In making
the leap Il ring on his finger caught
OH protruding nail and the weight
of his body caused the ring TO cut
the digit off below the second joint.
DR.. Lock amputated the stub. The
ring and the portion of the finger lost
cannot be found.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
How'S This ?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case Of CatarTh that cannot be cured by Halls
CatarTl Cure.
r J. CHENEY g. CO, Toledo o.
We, the undersigned have known +. j. Cheney
for the Is years and believe him perfectly hon
orabe I'm all business transactions and financially
able 10 carry out any obligations made by his Arm
WALDIYG, kIEEAE d MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, o
Hairs Catarrh Cure Is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system Testimonials sent free. Price IS cents per
bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
THE MARKETS.
LIVE STOCK.

Detroit-Choice steers, $5d5 80; good
10 choice butcher steers 1000 to 1900
lbs, $4q4 so: light to good butcher
steers and heifers, 200 10 300 lbs. SO IS
"a: mixed butchers fat cows. 50 500
3 25; Gamers. $1@1 rs: common bulls
S2W2 %; good shippers bulls. So rs %
90; common feeders, 81 zoos; good
well-bred feeders SO 25d3 SIS; light
stockers, So 5OG2 IS
Mich cows and springers steady at
$25@45.
Veal calves-Mar<et soc lower than
last week; best grades, SIS 1906 25;
others, So 5005
Sheep and lambs-Markct s1@1 25
lower on. lambs: sheep about steady.
lambs, $5d5 so; light to common
lambs, S4q5; yearlings s4W5; fair to
good butcher sheep. S3g 80; culls and
common, 81 50M2 so.
Hogs-Run light: market steady at
last weeks prices Range of prices:
Light to good butchers. So 50i pigs,
IS 40; light workers.. So 40@5 As:
roughs, 81 so; stays onethrd off.
Chicago-Good to prime steers. 50 so
@6 40: poor to medium, 81 5OQ5 25;
81 50@4 so; heifers. s2a5 so; Gamers,
| 81 5O@2 so; bulls. $2d4 Is: calves,
81 50Gp6 75 Tcxas-fcd steers. S3M4 75
Hogs-Mixed and butchers. IS 900
8 As; good to choice heavy. So S5@5 90;
rough heavy. $5@5 20; light. IS ESQ
60; bulk of sales. IS 2O@5 40
Sheep-Good to choice wethers. $40
so; fair to choice mixed, IS 1904; ma
, tive lambs, $4W7 so.
East Buffalo. - Market overstocked:
many cattle unsold shippers advised to
be cautious for next few days Prices
are lower. Best export grades, $1,000
ESQ; best 1900 to 1,300-lb. shipping
steers. $5d5.4O; good 1850 to 1.10O-lb.
butcher steers, $3.50 a $50; 900 to 1000
10. do, S415G435; best fat cows s3.50 al
4; fair to good do. SS@ S25: trimmers
S1.5O62; best fat heifers. dry fed. $i40
40 400; medium heifers. S3.25 q $50; fat
heifers, grassers. s3.25 4S.4 40. common
stock heifers, $2.50dS; best feeding
steers 900 lbs. to l 900 lbs. dehorned
$3.7504: best yearling steers, 1926 a
$50: common stockers. S2.50m3; export
bulls, $46425: bologna bulls. $2.75m3:
little Jersey bulls. S225d275. Cows:
Good to extra. $4,000: medium to good
do, $25 a IS; common. SlSM22. Calves:
Best veals $6.75M7; fair to good Sc "a
G. so; heavy. $40 $50. Hogs: Mixed me
dunn heavy and Workers, sG.20m6.30;
pigs, S620Q625. Sheep. Best lambs
S65006.75; fair to good do S6W6.25;
culls and common. $4.5O@ 5.5O; best
yearlings. S5.50M 5.65. best mixed sheep.
S4m425. fair. $3.50mi: culls and bucks,
S2@3.25; wGthers. $4.5oa5' ewes. SAC
4.25.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
STEAMERS LEAVING DETROIT.
STANDARD Tine

Standard Time.
WHITE STAR LINE-Foot OF Griswold st; Boats
for Port Huron and way ports daily at $3.50 a 4.
IN. and 2;30 p. m. For Toledo at 80 D. IN d.
Leave Port Huron for Detroit 80 I'M 3 Is D m
DETROIT & BUFFALO STEAMBoAT Co Foot OF
wayne Street; for Buffalo daily at 400 D. IN q.
DETROIT CLEVELAND NAV. Co; Foot Wayne
81; for Cleveland daily g:3O a. IN and 1920 p m.
For Maclinac. Monday and Saturday 5:OOp. m /;
Wednesday and Friday at 30 q. N
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

resuming his knife and tur
nip, we're claimin' that the last sad
rites paid to Nose Johnson's ashes
we're somethin' new an unique in the
way OF obsequies, at least in this hero
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

Albert Kramer, aged is, was drown
ed in Cedar river while bathing. He
was unable to swim and got beyond
his depth.
The mayor OF Hancock has come
forth with a plan for making tramps
work, in the hope of Kidding the city
OF them.
The business men Of Onaway have
organized an association having for
its claims the industrial Improvement
OF the town.
VIM. G. Mcmillan will be a candi-
date to succeed Gen. Russell A. Alger
as United States senator two years
hence. his friends say.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
rbo EocI, leland Svstem hrs oonel

The Rock Island System has donel
and is doing notably good work I'm en-
Uouraging immigration to the South
west. The agricultural and industrial
opportunities Of that section of coun-
try have been persistently and sys'
tematicalIy set forth, as result OF
which the number of people who have
settled in Oklahoma, Indian Territory
and Arkansas. this spring has been
greater than in years. On three days
in February and March, over six thou
sand homeseekers took advantage OF
the low rates to the Southwest and
removed themselves and their belong
ings to the Land of Opportunity"
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
Important 70 Mothers.
Do Your Feet Ache and Burn7

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot
Ease, a powder for the feet. 1t makes
Swollen, Hot, Sweating Feet, Corns and
Bunions. At all Druggists and Shoe
Stores, CSC. Sample sent FREE. Ad-
dress Allen s. Olmsted, Leroy, N. Y.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
ADJUSTMENTS IN DETROIT.
Week Ending Inlr 10

WIZ
TEMPLE THEATER AND WoNDERLAND--A After
Moons 2:i1. l0c TO &c Evenings s.l5. l0c to 30.
AVENUE THEATRE Majestic Stock Co.-After-
Moons 2:i5, PC TO 50c; Evenings SIS. &c TO 80.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved
my life three years ago.-MRs. THos. RoBBtNs
Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y, Feb. II, 1900
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

A married woman is always suspic-
lous when her husband gives her an
expensive present.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

No life overflows with joy that has
room only for its own cares
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

why do you think she is so anxious
TO get married?"
why, she's attending the cooking
school."--Chicago Post.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

Good wives and loving ones ars
synonymous.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

Detroit-Wheat--No l white. 81 o.
No red. spot, 81 03. July. 5000 bu al
9Sihc. 5000 bu at 99c 5000 bu at 80 G
s. 600 bu at 81: September. 5000 bu al
92hc. 5000 bu at 92&c. $4,000 bu al
CSC, closing 93hc bid; December 1000
nominal at 939lc; No. rcd. 81 OIL per
bushel.
Corn-No. mixed. soc; No. yellow
8 cars at 52ikc per bu.
Oats-No. white. spot, cars al
43Hc: No. 4 white. 1 car at 421ac bu.
Rve-No. 2 spot. nominal at 73c bu.
Beans-Spot and October. 81 60; No
vember 81 50 asked.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
The case of rrs. Lennox, which follows proves this.

DEAR Mrs. PTNKBAM: = Last winter I
broke down suddenly and had TO seek tho
advice Of doctor. felt sore all over, with
q pounding in my head, and dizziness which
7 had never experienced before. / had a
miserable appetite, nothing tasted good and
The doctor said had female weakness, but,
although l took his medicine faithfully,
found no relief.
"After two months decided to try what
change would do for me, and as Lydia IL.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound was
strongly recommended to me l decided to
try IL. Within three days felt better, my
appetite returned, and i could sleep In
another week I was able TO sit up part OF
the day, and in ten days more | was well.
NY strength had returned, gained fourteen
rnnnnds and felt better and stronger than
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

The Y. w. G.. A. of Battle Greek is
going TO give an automobile social a la
,,ewpOrt.
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29

had for
MRsB BETTE st,
Trvecan
X5(jl 'S''' testimonials which s prove is. r. Lynn
The Yale expositor., 1904-07-29
Grain, Etc.

Chicago-Cash quotations.. No.
spring wheat. asI99c: No. 8 spring
wheat, SIS az 96c: No. , corn. 49A G; No.
yellow corn. sic; No. oats, 405sc; No
3 white oats. 4O642Iac. No. . rye. 75c'
good feeding barley. 35 a 3Sc; fair to
choice mailing, AZ soc.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-01-18
NEW DRESS
They Are warm to the Eye and Most
of Them Have n "Furry"
Finish.

Fashions in materials, both for dresses
and for coats, decidedly furry" The
new fabrics are warn to the eye, smooth
and bright, despite their long-haired
proclivities, says American Queen.
The present tendency in skirts is the
multiplication of the cores, as many as
IL or 10, or eve II cores being used.
These much-gored skirts fit closely to
the knees, then spring out full and i'm
portant-looking at the hem. Skirts with
every variety of hip-yoke, also in plait-
ed styles, have as great a following as
any. The short skirt is undoubtedly the
skirt of the moment for walking and all
outdoor purposes. 1t has proved SO USE
full that it is unlikely we shall ever be
without the short skirt again.
A very striking street gown of plum
colored cloth has sleeves and collar Of
broadtail, the collar and cuffs embroid-
cred In gold. There is a vest of white
kid trimmed with a double row of dead
gold buttons and the broad white kid
belt is fastened with a large buckle OF
gold. The waist is plain, except for the
vest, and two ornaments and tassels OF
silk. The skirt is a triple affair, and is
rather longer than the average gown
meant for walking.
A beautiful gown Of two kinds of lace,
dyed a deep mauve, is made over ac-
contemplated mauve chiffon, spangled
with gold. The body of the gown is OF
French lace in a Valenciennes pattern,
and is trimmed with a heavy point de
Venise. The skirt has a hip-yoke, a front
panel and two circular bands Of the
heavy lace, and the waist has a cape and
sleeve of the same. The yoke Is OF the
thinner lace, and Is an intricate pieces OF
handwork, sewed with chiffon ~quillings
and gold spangles. There is a corsage
ornament made of pale blue, pale pink
and mauve satin ribbons, each end be-
ing finished with a long tassel OF gold
beads.