The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-08-26
BY F. p. dunno.
Joy r. Z. DO-NANL.
Copyright, 1904, by Mcclure, Phillips
& Coz

& o
Il see said Mr.. Dooley, " a bishop
down in New York has opened a sa-
loon"
Glory be-" said MIR. Hennesy. MT
our kind iv bishop"
No aid Mr.. DooIey. Wan iv IN
near-our-kind. He didn't ra-aly pm
It tn way ye think. He didn't "
tn jint. He on'y backs it with his
moral inflooence, like a brewry. V see,
1. was this way. Wan day this bishop
dhropped into his club. 1 don't know
why it is We always say a man dhrops
into a club. He's more likely to dhrop
cut if he amt supported. But. my
now, tn bishop d~hropped into his club
an hurlin' himself into a sumchuous
arm chair, opened his brewery All
settled down to wait fr tn venin pa
apers. As he set there with his feet
cooked up on a chair. readin' his de-
vOtional book an occasionally diviIi
into tn milk punch. he says to him.
|, silf: This is rale comfort. A club IS a
gran place Suddenly tn thought
sthruck him. What says he, am I
doin' fr tn poor? Here am 1 lounsin'
in comfort in me club. Has tn poor
wUrrukin' man a club? Not at all. He
has no club but tn wan tn polisman
carries. Thin where does he. spind his
time between fOur o'clock in tn aftner-
noon and eight o'clock dinner? In II
saloon Tn saloons l r-read about
where tn poor wurrukin' man buys Il
"a shell iv haEr 4rpS fnrIT. dollar y-O1.rh
" free lunch an goes home an beat Is
his wife or vicy yarSy as tn case may
be, is no place fr him. I will start q
model dive where me humble mechanic
frinds iv tn slums can take their karo-
sine amid comfortable s~urrOundin',,
chat with their fellow jugglers on til.
issues " tn day an go home i~llivated
in evTy sense " tn wurrud,' he says.
An he don it Firm L can
make out about this model saloon it
ain't much different firm tn ~peaceable
He'll hat I've been cOnductin' FIR thirty
years Tn main ingreejent iv amy
rest cure is there. on tn shelves.
They'se a bar fr thin horny hanu-i
sons " tile who can sleep Standin an
chairs an ables FIR tn less hardy REF
fans that prefer to coal up in a SetIn
posture. TIL bartinderS are affble an
sober men. but that's thrue iv all bar
finders. They ARE supposed, HinniSSy,
TO give IN Il DTlcI IlOId.
chat while puShin out tn paint. AfIner
tn third basin it may be nicissry fr
them to have AN illivinth command
ment handy in tn shape iV an lCc-
pick. In a corner iv tn, impooryum IL
a sOdy wather fountain so that tn poor
Wurrukin' nan don't have to drink
tn Destroyer if he don't want to, but
can go over an initiate himsilf at tn
4 gas wuTrucks. Whin a customer at u
o. iininr counter haOinS tn nrU 0VpP n
Maybrick case. tn prelate in conf
mdnd there steers him to tn liquid air
department where he does tn rist iv
), his %shOppin'. charges himsilf with a pan
IL drbOn acid an floats home. This
= TO help his hiccup so that his wiTeii
know he has not been idle. l undhSf
stand this branch " tn plant hasn't
had to hire amy extra help. TIL pTin-
cipaI customers is Numbers iy good gov
ermint clubs disguised as poor WIZ
rukinmen in OIL tennis clothes. War.
" thin was heeTd to say that he dida
care whether tn bar-boy made it an
egg phosphate or Il vanilla strawberry
mixed. as ne did not intind to go home
till tn foIIowin' day, annyhow. n
more permanent poor wurrukin' m+r'.
tn athletes in outing clothes " blue
canvas. has thus far not Investigated
tn model saloon beyond tn beer pump.
An. now | come TO think iv it, l can't
EtNInlLnDSr lIST seem a poor NuTIuh-
n man Sprintin' fr tn Dutchman 5
pause in front " a dhrug store as If IL
doubt. 1t may have happened but ]
didn't notice it.
TIL saloon was opened in person be
tn bishop. 1 r-read his speech. 1t was
fine. He recognized that dhrink vas
an evil. havin' met it. But it was a
nicissry evil. On tn whole, he was IN
cIined to think il was more nicissIy
thin evil. Takin' it all in all or ha:f ar
half or anyway We liked, it was a good
thing. He took his dhrink at tn club
an why shud his more humble Dut
akelly ~drOughty frinds among tn VIII
rukin' classes not have their souse as
We'll? They shud. He wud advise mod
hratiOn, however. A man, be he rich
or poor. shud niver take on more tnIn
was good fr him. 9Th manager iv IN
saloon: OF thin he's good fr.) He
accepted tn correction. If he was Il
sIvin' mechanic in this bright land iv
OPPORTUNITY. he ought TO be good fr
what was good fr him., or more. WaIn
81 poor wurrukin' man felt tn insijous
march iv tn ~brannigan he shud say:
SNO: boys, no more fr me. l must go
lone to tn Ill vans. If 1 need more
! can sind thin out FIR it." A poor
wurrukin' man shuld niver frget Ms
family while on a carouSe- No amount
" sObbin' on TIL neck iv a bartinaer
while tellin' what a comfort wife an
Childher was TO tn i~nebryated artisan
wud make amy difference. He mus get
home some time durin' tn night or he /.
is no thrue upholder iv tn Christian
saloon an its refinin' ~inf1ooence. His
parcel h ud be no more thin that "
any gintIeman at a club, lest ne be as
tn beasts iv tn field who don't dhrIrk.
Boys. it's on me.
AN so, Hinnissy, tn model saloon
was opened. TIL archdeacon tapped a
irish key, tn vicar gin'ral tossed to-
gether a model Christyan gin-fizz an
tn good bishop smiled b~inivolently as
tn hardy vistrymen Quaffed tn ni5ls-
sry evil. An whin tn dice-box was
passed, did tn hand iv tn potter shake?
l don't know, Hinnissy But / do know
the model saloon is goin' to be a gr-raat
moral inHnnanca in that neighhOCh0Od.