davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

At Pleyna, Kan, a Joint keeper cor
nered the Rev. W II. Houston in the
postOiice and Informed the reverend
gentleman that he must take a licking
ON account Of a temperance sermon
which he had preached the day before.
IAN right" responded the parson checr-
fully. and two minutes later the friends
Of the Joint" keeper We're taking him
down to the butcher shop for the AZ
plication OF beefsteak to a pair Of BEAU
tlfui black eyes.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

A professor in an old Pennsylvania
college wa conducting a review in
Latin. OF a sleepy-looking youth he
asked the question; What construe-
ton is at the top Of page 12?"
Il don't know" wal the prompt re-
ply.
why rot?" Numbered the professor.
Il have been harping on that con-
~struction all term
Il know you have, professor" was
the soft reply. but / haven't caught
the tune yeC."
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

John Henry Mugginsi" exclaimed
his wife, at 3 a. m. Where on earth
have you been all this night?'
at home. M dear" asserted Mr..
Muggins. observing with curious in
terest the gyrations of the hall tree.
AT home? Why, you haven't been
neal the house since supper"
THAT'S all RI" was the strenuous
response. 81 wash wizzin shignal dish
lance all evenin jush' shamel"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04
Combining.

Pinchon Steele-Please, kind lady,
won't yer help a poor Teller watts jist
gittin' round agen alter bein' confined
to de house fur a year?
Mrs, Goodsole-Here, poor man, take
this quarter, and what was your trou-
BILE? Rheumatism?
Pinchon Steele-No'm. 1t was a bad
attack O. k~leptomania.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

AREN'T you glad you are living in
this age of invention?" exclaimed the
thin man with the wart on mis- nose.
Cant say l am replied the bald
headed man. You see, I married a
widow, and she's got a photograph
that she is forever having grind out
records that her first husband madel"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04
oonfeaarnle Mono n cubn.

II has just leaked out that our troop
ers from the South expended Confedert
ate notes freely in Cuba during the
spanish-American war. This trick was
originated by young men of the South
ern states, IN whose homes sundry
trunkfuls Of JEFF Davis's money" had
been lying idle for some %thirty-thret
years. The Cubans weer easy victims.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04
Her Comment.

THE habit, quoted the young man
with the ed-rooster-decorate vest,
oft proclaims the man
But" suggested the young lady
with the lofty brow, 1T doesn't always
use a %megaphone to do its proclaim
ing, does it?'
Wincing under her sarcasm, he but
toned up his eoat tightly across tho
offending garment, yet could not alto
gether silence It.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

IF l had an engagement with you, "
said the clerk, 1T would be this"
And he gently placed a date with a
peach.
No" answered the pretty cashier.
1t would be like this
And she laid the date beside the
case Of canned Holsters.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

Chollie-I stood on the corner this
morning, and Of all the hundreds of
women that went by l didn't see mor
than three that / would marry.
Dolly-And / suppose the number
that would marry you was a Good deal
smaller still.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

Tess-Miss Brusk didn't hesitate to
give his age as her reason for refus-
ing Old Munnybags.
Jess-Told him to his face he was
too. old, Ell?
Tess-Not at all. He swore he
would love and cherish her till death"
and she told him he was too young.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04
BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN
rIade wei and strong By Pe-ru-na.

Mrs. Schafer, 436 Pope Ave, st. Louis,
Mo-, writes:
"In the early part of last year I wrote
to You for advice for my daughter Alice,
four years Of age.
"She has been a puny, sickly, ailing
child since her birth. She had convui-
sions and catarrhal fever. ! was always.
doctoring until we commenced 20 use
Peruna. She grew strong and well
Peruna is a wonderful tonici the best
medicine l have ever used ."-Mrs.
Schafer.
Mrs. @. =. Long, the mother Of little
Nina Long, writes from Atwood, Colo,
as follows:
We can never thank you enough o
the change you have made in u little
ones health. Before she began taking
your Peruna she suffered everything in
the way Of cough, colds and Group, but
now she has taken not quite a bottle OF
+, Peruna, and is we'll and strong as she
has ever been in her life. She haa
not had the Group once since she
began taking Peruna, and when she
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

The German emperor wan s his new
yacht named Meteor"
Then why not call it the Wiener
wurst?"
'Eh! Why should he call it that?"
why? Because it's meatier, isn't
't"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

"Poohl" said Daisy, scornfully. "the
idea Of your being afraid of a poor old
house dogl Why, he eats out Of my
hand"
II don't doubt II" replied Burroughs,
obviously, but what | am afraid OF is
that he might take a notion to eat out
of my leg"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

"The best way to destroy your enc
miles, said the man with a gentle
nature, lis to make them your
friends"
Yes" answered Senator Sorghum
thoughtfully. but sometimes that
costs a heap of money"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

What are you going to paint on
this dazzling white canvas, may l
ask?"
THAT is a finished painting, miss. 1t
is entitled The Snow Storm.
why. so it is! How stupid of mel
Isn't it beautiful"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

Mrs. Hunt suppose Jane Porter is
the most truthful person in town.
Why, l verify believe she would tell
the truth about ever her age.
Mrs. Pike-That wouldn't be truth
fulness; it would simply be eccentric
ity.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04
Place aud Greatne,s.

Joel paid $25 to get into that vol
m of Great Americans"
Billy-Well?"
Joe-AI l got was half a column
alongside Of a man who is the most
notorious humbug in u country.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

Jack Potts-"My wife always com
plains about my losses at poker"
Bob Flush--'But isn't she. cores
pondingly glad over your winnings"
Jack Potts-'I suppose she would
be II / should tell her of them"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

Il suppose strong drink brought you
here" said the prison missionary.
1T wuz somethin' stronger dan dat. p
replied Thirsty Thingumbob; III wuz
sig cops an a patrol wagon"
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

Maud (at the reception)-Poor dear
Miss Psllimmin is the scrawniest girl
here. isn't she?
Mabel don't know. It's neck and
neck between her and Fan Billiwink.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

~ NAN 1AAAA-n " AN&2 w ~
Hartman in regard to her baby girl
Ruth:
"My lite girl had some derange-
menf of the Bowels. She was a mere
skeleton and we did not think she
would ever get well. After giving
her less than one bottle of Peruna
she was sound and wei Now she has
a good appetite and Is a picture OF
health"
Mrs. Heard also writes in regard to
her son, Carl;
"My sons ears had been affected
since he was a babe only q few months
old. The IaSe year I thought he had
almost lost his hearing and had a
local physician treating him for about
six weeks. Finally began giving him
your remedy, and after he had taken
two bottles ne was entirely cured. I
cannot praise PerTna enough. Mrs.
q. w. Heard.
If you do not receive prompt and salts
factory results from the use of Peruna,
write at once to DIR. Hartman, giving a
full statement of your case, and he will
be pleased to give you his valuable ad-
vi, e gratis.
Address DR.. Hartman, President of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus. @.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

Roderick-I notice you nave been as
sociating with that young bard of
late. Have you learned anything about
poetry?
Van Albert-Oh, a little. Since he
borrowed that X I understand what
the true poetic touch is.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04
Stops the Cough and
Works OF the Cold
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Price &c.

and beg for his breakfast. Mamie-Oh,
my mamma makes my papa do that
every day. g.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

Mrs. Windows Soothing syrur.
For children teething. softens the gums, redue es ir
domination, allaya pain. cures windeohc- AceDotue
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

We ui.h you 10 Try cur
g great farm seeds, hence
oner 70 send 10 farm seed
samples, containing Thousand
Headed Kaie, reoainte, Rape,
Alfalfa, Spells, rto lfully worth
boo 70 FetagtaFD together uith
2 groatcatal0gi for l0o postage.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

SALzER'S MAGIC CRUSHED SHELLS.
Beat on earth. Sell at tiS5 per 20 10. bans
eS.7b for 500 That $500 for 1000 ibs.
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

has a little cold a few doses
of Peruna fixes her out all
right. We can never praise it
enough Mrs. G. E. Long.
Mrs. G. W. Heard, of
Red River prospector. (Red River, Taos County, N.M.) 1900-190?, 1904-08-04

makes 10 possible - grow
hogs, sheep aud cattle ~ =
cost Of butlealb. Marvel
ously prolific, does well
everywhere. That pays.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1904-03-04
THE REGISTER AND THE TRIBUNE
s. HAVE A NIGHTMARE.

A newspaper controversy is bad
thing. 1t is bad for the reader, and
causes him to lose the respect heomay
have for the editors engaged. 1t is
bad for the editors engaged, as they
lose respect for one another, and
always something is said which leaves
a bad taste somewhere. 90 We are try
ing to keep out oof them,s but when
our city brethren, by what seems to
have been preconcerted action, pub
fish articles which reflect on theoin-
tegrity of county officials, as we'll as
the publishers of this paper, we beg
the pardon of our readers for taking
little. time and space to reply. In.
truth, when one considers everything,
and 'especially the fact that the editors
of this paper have the county printing,
that one of them is probate judge,
and was such before embarking in
the newspaper business, that we have
had an especially good business year,
that the matter to be printed will add
a few pennies to our receipts and
that we have started daily paper,
which one'of the opposition knew we
were going to do at the time the. ar
ticles referred to were published, we
say defense is not necessary, and
we will take up but little space. IS
for, ourselves we will say, in reply to
the Register, that when he says, the
D&MocRAr people were responsible
fog the publication of the personal tax
statements, and that we hoodooed
the commissioners; or if he says or
even intimateso-hat anyone acting in
our behalf is responsible, he lies.
Lies right square from the shoulder,
and if he desires us to prove this
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1904-03-04
OUR CALENDARS.

Postmaster Griffith has this week
received ruling form the Post Office
department on our calendar PROPOSE
ton, in which he is referred to certain
rulings of the department on matters
Of this kind, which were not in this
Office, or else overlooked, when he
was asked about the rate on the
calendars. Right here we wish to
state that Mr.. Griffith is in no way to
blame for this matter, as he and Mr.
Stoke simply construed the postal
laws different from what is intended.
The decision being against us, we
have given Mr.. Griffith a check for
the amount due, having previously
paid the man at Ellinwood, and also
at Tokeka, together the. sum of S1.27
our circplation at that time being
2136, although now more than 200
higher than that figure. We below
publish Mr.. Grifith's receipt, so that
the Item, Register and Ellinwood
Leader need not take our word for
the payment, and having given the
matter considerable publicity hereto
fore, we ask that they copy this
receipt and say that they do it by our
request.
Great Bend, Kans., March, 1, 1904.
Received of Stoke & Feder,s Twen-
ty-one dollars and thirty-six cents
being amt in full for postage on
extra issue ofBarton Coanty Demo
cract, Jan. 1904 at third class
rate Of postage.
THEo. GRIFFITH, P. NJ.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1904-03-04
Are We Going to do it?

Well father are we going to
have a new rug or carpet for the
parlor or sitting room this
spring? We are going to com
smence house cleaning pretty
soon, and you promised US that
NEXT YEAR we should have a
new one. Now this next year
has been going on for several
years, until the old carpet is as
threadbare as it possibly can be-.
Now the children and 1 have
worked hard, with you, to pay
for the farm and our home, and
now we are pretty fairly fixed.
Eve have plenty of stock, we
have wheat in the bin, and mon
ey in the bank, and so far as we
are concerned, we have just made
up our minds that we would like
! to have the old home fixed up a
little better.
We not only want a new rug
or carpet, but we would like to
have a few more PICTURES on
the walls, and have the rooms
PAPERED anew. We would
! like to have an extra chair for
this room and a sofa or couch
for that one.
We have lived here for fifteen
years and we never had cuftains
up to our windows. We have
had that opening there that we
have promised ourselves time
and again that we would have
portieres for. but we have never
felt that we could afford it, but
now the time has come when we
can, and with your permission,
and with your presence, we
would like to 60 down to the
E. r. Moses Mere. Co. and select
these things. We know that
they have the very latest and
best, for we have seen them
opening box after box. of RUGS.
carpets, pictures, curtains, and
wall paper by the wagon load.
Why we can get most anything
we want Of them. Why not 90
right down there, and match up
the wall paper and moulding
with the carpet or rug, and the
paint for the windows and the
doors?
We have figured it all up and
it wont cost more than $50 to
500 for several rooms, and we
will get that much pleasure the
first year we use them. 1t will
make the old home beautiful
and pleasant to live in and we
think more of it because it is
pleasant to live in.
While we are at Moses we
would like to have you examine
their Grain King Feed Grinder
that grinds all kinds of grain to
feed cattle, hogs and sheep.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1904-03-04

statement, we are prepared to back it
up with affidavits. Aso to the Trib-
une's Statement. that the county has
ordered a general index of the records
in the probate judges office at a big
expense, talks about things it knows
nothing about. The index has been
ordered, the probate judge expects to
make 1t, the price has been agreed
upon, and is $500 for the entire work,
an exceptionally reasonable price,
and the index is something which
every attorney and every other per
son who has business in that Office
knows is needed. The Tribune calls
that grating. 1t does not know what
it is talking about, and all the hubbub
the two papers are trying to cause. is
so much hot air on a sour stomach,
caused by our success, which is the
result of hard work, an example
which it would be we'll for them to
emulate. AS to the action of the
commissioners in ordering the person
al property statements published, we
desire toosay that if this county has
ever had board of county commits
sioners that tried to serve the county
well, we have that board now. True,
the people are ticklish on this tax
business They ought to be, and
they will be- until all pay their just
proportion, and this order of the
commissioners is destined to BRING
6rHATovERY THING ABOUT We have
mot omvestigated as to their right,
technically, under the law, to cause
this publication, but we feel sure that
they know what they are doing, as
they usually do,@nd we do know that
morally they are right, and have
rightto do that Which will bring the
tax-dodgers, of which we all know
there are plenty, to time. Publicity
is employed 0by the federal govern
ment and BY the State government to
'arrive at certain results and why can
not the same thing be done by the
county? We are on the street as
much as anyone in the, city, and
around the court house, and we did
not hear half a dozen persosss say
anything about this matter, either be-
fore the publication of the articles re-
ferred to, Cor since, and the. majority
of those were favorable to the pub
LEGATION.
We have herein stated our position.
and we believe that of the board also,
and as far as we are concerned that
lends it, unless the Register wants the
proof we have referred to above.
Nothing is expected to be gained by
these two papers making this attack,
it being intended purely and simply
to- hurt US and the commissioners,
which it will fall far short in doing.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1904-03-04
Firsti Published in the. Democrat. Feb. %, 1904
State of Kansas,
Bar ton County

To all whom it may concern, but more especially
to George Terrell, Sylvester Terrell. John Terrell,
E fah erIet Rerrna Maker RGse h ,',
and Jas w. Clarke, Heirs at Law andkGuardans
ad Item o Heirs at Law of A. ]. Terrell and
Sarah Terrell deceased, late OF Barton County.
Kansas.
You hereby notified, that I, G. W. Moore,
Administrator of said deceased, did the oath
day of Feb a. d. 1904 file petition in the Probate
Court of Barton County, Kansas. praying that
might be authorized and empowered to sell the
followin gdescribed land, for the purpose of pay
ing the debt and costs of administration of said
estates ito wit:
Southwest quarter Section Thirty Six, Town
ship Seventeen, South Of Range Fourteen West,
in Barton County, Kansas. And said Petition
will be heard at the office of the Probate Jud re of
said County the Doth day of March A. D. 1904
at 10 o'clock a m. of said day, at which time
and place each of you. and ali others interested,
are notified to be present and show cause, if any
you have, why order of sale as prayed for
should not be granted.
Dated this oath day of Feb a. D. 1904.
G. W. Moore, Administrator.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1904-03-04

You know that ground feed is
the cheapest In the end, and the
Grain King is the only grinder
that will grind the small grain
we'll.
We would like to have you
look at their floon and Velie
Buggies and carriages, too.
Say, Pa, maybe you can trade
them the old buggy for a new
one. Hadn't you better try
them?
We would like to see YOU buy
a Sampson Windmill while We
are there, for we know you get so
tired, pumping away at the old
pumps when you can just as'well
have one of these mills, and let
itego night and day, watering
the stock and the garden patch
too, SO that we can have plenty
to eat, whether we have large
wheat crop or not
Why, how much nicer every
thing around us can be made, if
we use a little thought and
study up plans to. beautify the
home and it's surroundings, each
month and year, until We get
the lovliest and the best spot on
earth.
When we have bought all of
these things we have been speak
ing about, we are going to get a
new set Of dishes and not any
plain ones either. We are going
to get set of nice china dishes
that used to sell for $50. We
know where to get them for we
have Just seen them at Moses.
Moses guarantees to sell any
goods in his line, just as cheap
as any place on earth, with, the
freight added. He keeps eata-
logues of all the different houses
and will show up his goods and
prices with any of them. We
know it, we have'tried them and
found it so.
Give the E. r. Moses Mercan-
tile Co. a trial and see what they
can do for you.
VERY truly yours.
THE E. r. MOSES Nero Co.
The daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1904-1905, 1904-06-10
Triumphs of Modern Surgery.

Wonderful things are done for the
human body by surgery. Organs are
taken out and scraped and polished
and put back, or they may be remov-
ed entirely; bones are spliced; pipes
take the place Of diseased sections of
veins; antiseptic dressings are APP
piled to wounds, bruises, burns and
like injuries before inflammation sets
in, which causes them to heal without
maturation and in third Of the
time required by the Cd treatment
Chamberlain s Pain Balm acts on this
same principle. It is an antiseptic
and when applied to such injuries.
causes them to heal very quickly. 1t
also allays the pain and soreness.
Keep bottle of Balm Balm in your
home and it will save you time and
money, not to mention the inconve-
nience and suffering which such in
juries entail. For sale by A. G. Luz
kens & Co.; W. H. Sudhoff, 5th and
Main SITS.
The daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1904-1905, 1904-06-10
MORPHINE
What is to Become of the Constantly
Increasing Number of Drug
.... Victir-s?
Can They Be Cured?

This question is agitating the minds
IF the best ministers, doctors and
thinking men of today. There are
we. million drug users in the Unit.
ed States alone. and the number is
rapidly increasing. All unite in say
;s; that reliable cure is the only
salvation. This is no ordinary dis
ease and yields to no ordinary drugs
or methods Of treatment. We now
offer our treatment which we guaran-
n will cure any case of Morphine
Opium, Laudanum, Cocaine or othe.
drug habit or refund your money. To
any person suffering from this dread
full disease we will send trial pack
age OF our treatment absolutely free
Write today. All correspondence
strictly confidential in plain en-
elopes. Address, Manhattan Thera
peutic Association, Dept b., 113l
broadway, New York City.
The daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1904-1905, 1904-06-10
WORLDS FAIR EXCURSIONS.
Tuesdays and Thursdays via Penn.
sylvania Lines Until June 80.

Tuesdays and Thursdays via Penn
sylvania Lines Until June 80.
Coach excursion tickets to St.
Louis account the Worlds Fair will
be sold via Pennsylvania Lines Tues
days and Thursdays until June 80.
These tickets will be good only in
coaches Of regular trains on those
days, or In coaches of special trains
which may be announced. The round
trip fare from Richmond is $500.
Returning tickets will be good
only in coaches Of regular trains
leaving St. Louis Union Station any
time within seven days, including
date Of purchase Of ticket. Return
coupons Of tickets sold Tuesdays will
be good until the following Monday,
inclusive, and those sold Thursdays
will be good returning until the fol-
lowing Wednesday, inclusive.
For particulars about time of
trains for which coach excursion tick
cts will be sold, sonsult C. w. Elmer,
ticket agent, Richmond, Ind, who
will also answer inquiries in regard
o Season Excursion Tickets, Sixty
day Excursion Tickets and Fifteen
day Excursion Tickets to st. Louis,
on sale during the Worlds Fair.
The daily palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1904-1905, 1904-06-10
Sued by His Doctor,

ga doctor here has sued me for
$3.50, which I claimed was excessive
for a case of cholera morbus," says
R. White, of Coachella, Cal. "At
the trial he praised his medical skill
and medicine. I asked him if it
was not Chamberlain IS Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy he used as I
had good reason TO believe it was,
and he would not say under oath that
it was not" No doctor could use a
better remedy than this in a case of
cholera morbus, it never fails. Sold
by A. G. Luken & Co.; W. II. Sud
hoff, 9Th and Main SITS.