davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
PROTESTANT MISSIONS.
Statistics Show Them to Be in Pros.
porous Condition.

The American Board of Commission
ers for Foreign Missions has made pub
lie summary of Protestant foreign
missions. In most of the items there is
shown to be an advance over the re-
ports of the preceding year. The in
come of societies in the United States
and Great Britain alone show an in
crease of over s2,000,000. The statistics
are as follows:
Stations. 5.T71; out-stations, 22,S64;
total missionaries. 1858; native work
ers, 75.2S1; communicates in churches,
1887, ,O42; pupils under instruction. l.
127,S53. The total native constituency
is 3,613,39l.
The United States is represented by
6,99l; stations and out-stations, 1,617;
men, 2.G3S women; 20901 native labor-
ers, 5O6,600 communicates. 43.723 add
ed last year. 259.537 under instruction.
The income of the societies reported is
S7,176,S95.
The missionary work in the Hawai-
ian islands having been assumed by
the churches at the islands, that mis-
sion disappears this year from the rolls.
But that to the Philippines has been
added, so that the number of missions
is still twenty.
In the Chinese missions of the Amer
lean board there are more church men,
bers by SS5 than before the Boxer out
break. while the native laborers have
increased nearly three-fold.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
New Zealand Pensions,

Under the old age pension law of
New Zealand. person to draw a pen
soin must be siXty-tive years of age,
and must have resided in New Zealand
for the previous twenty-five years;
must not have been imprisoned for
period of four months during the past
twelve years for any offense punish
able by Imprisonment for one year.
and must have led sober and respect
able life for the previous five years.
His yearly income must not exceed
$3.50, or his net capital s1.350, and he
must not have deprived himself of
property or income to qualify for a
pension. The full amount of the pen
sion is 500 per year, payable monthly.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Mr.. Growers Case,

Frederika, Ia, Dec. 2S.-Mr A. s.
Grover is now IA years of age. For the
last go years he has suffered a great
deal of sickness and, although he is a
temperate man and never used spir-
its of any kind, his kidneys had trou-
bled him very much. He said:
Il was told l had Diabetes and my
symptoms corresponded exactly to
those of young man who died of Dia-
betes in this neighborhood. My feet
and limbs were bloated quite little.
Il heard of Dodd's Kidney Pills and
at last determined to try them. l took
IN all ten boxes before l was well and
now l can truthfully say that am all
right. The bloating is gone from my
feet and legs. l have gained eight
pounds in weight and can sleep we'll at
night and every symptom of my trou-
BILE is gone.
"Et is some time now since I was
cared and l have not the slightest
return of any symptom of the old
trouble."
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
New Ship.Warnina cYstem.

In the ship-warning system of Mr.
C. E. Kelway, signals by Hertzian
waves are sent out from the light
houses at regular intervals at the
same times as the sound warnings. A
vessel in range having a receiver
notes the time that passes between
receiving the wireless signal and the
sound warning and is thus enabled to
calculate its distance from the light.
house, and. on repeating the observa,
ton, after continuing few miles,
data is obtained for ascertaining the
exact location of the lighthouse by
trisonometry. A stopwatch reading
directly in distances and a special po.
sition finder have been devised for
use with the system.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
6CUpeLAA
|N&SMIIcHES
SHEASI ~ BY
~ 4 AISS2I NzZLlZI1eS
Willie SpriQqs.

Wings-"That boy, Willie Spriggs,
that used to live in the Atkins house,
is in the papers agin,"
Bings-"Worst boy ever see.
Twenty years ago he used to steal
the corn from my shoats and peddle it
out at half price around town."
Wings-"Yes."
Bings-"He smoked cigarettes. play
ed the races when a mere stripping,
tied cans to dogs tails. wore red
necktie. and always said HUH" when
asked anything"
Wings-"Well, the papers full about
him this morning"
Bings-"Come to some bad end, of
course. allus knew he would! What's
he done now? Something awful, sup
pose"
Wings - "Scandalous' He's just
been elected president of a coal COM
pany and now he's got another corner
on coal"
But even Bings was not prepared
for the worst joke of the season and
fell in a swoon right here at the foot
OF this monkey dash.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Shot Full of Holes.

Washington was home from a
holiday house party and was in his
dumps.
Come. cheer up" expostulated his
roommate. Whats the matter?
What's the girls name? What's the"
Matilda. weakly replied Washing
ton. She had us full of Cupid's ar
rows in less than four days. Made
fools of us in five, and settled it all
in six. Oh. it's fierce, old man. fierce!"
groaned Washington. his head in his
hand, in detected attitude.
Full of arrows in four days, fools in
five and slaughtered on the SIXTH"
repeated the cheering brother
Slaughter, slaughter is the world"
She refused you then?"
Yes"
.And made fools of you both?"
"Yes!"
"And you tried to jump into the
lake,"
Yes"
What did the other fellow do?"
"Oh. he's going to marry the girl"
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Speaking Without a Tongue.

The power of speech can be retailed
after a complete, as well as after par.
tial. removal of the tongue. Mr. w.
II. A. Jacobson, writing in the Prac.
titioner cites one of his own cases.
A former English army surgeon had
his entire tongue removed, and some
few months after the operation was
able to speak so distinctly as to give
an interesting account of one of the
most striking episodes of the Indian
mutiny. He had been one of the sur,
geons in the force with which Sir
Colin Campbell relieved the garrison
os Lucknow.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Courage and Clothes.

If women were not brave they
would never face the dangers with
which they are constantly threatened
by doctors and others. There have
been those who would have frightened
them out of their corsets; others have
predicted blindness from the use OF
spotted wells; pneumonia, by this time,
would have decimated the female pop
ulation if all the prophecies concern
ing the blouse had been fulfilled. STILL
woman fearlessly follows fashion,
World.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Can You Be Proud of rhis7

Why the spirit of mortal has no
by French chemist, who tells us that
the human body only represents the
equivalent of elements contained Ill
the yolks and whites of 1 200 ordinary
sized eggs of the common hen. Tho
body will furnish enough iron to
make Z large nails, fat for 12 can
dies, carbon for 65 gross OF pencils,
phosphorus to tip 100000 matches,
about 20 teaspoonfuls of salt, SO Jumps
Of sugar. and AZ quarts Of water Also
enough gas to float a balloon.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

To the housewife who has not yet
become acquainted with the new
things Of everyday use in the market
and who is reasonably satisfied with
the old, we would suggest that a trial
of Defiance Cold Water Starch be
made at once Not alone because 1t
is guaranteed by the manufacturers
to be superior to any other brand,
but because each 10c package con-
tains 16 ozs., while all the other kinds.
contain but 10 ozs. 1t is safe to say
that the lady who once uses Defiance
Starch will use no other. Quality
and quantity must win.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
The Largest Eqq.

The egg of the aepiornis, Just pur-
chased for the United States National
museum, is probably the largest egg
in existence. 1t is 12 inches long and
10 inches wide, and it's shell is near
ly quarter of an inch thick and as
hard as rock. Some idea of its size
may perhaps be had when 1t is stated
that it is capable of holding the con-
tents of six ostrich eggs, or 14S hens
eggs, or 10000 humming birds eggs.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Power of Imagination.

The practical joke played by Prof.
Slosson of Wyoming on a select audi
ence recently when he convinced them
that they detected the odor of distilled
water is becoming part of the general
literature of the psychology of sugges-
ton. An account of it has appeared in
American, French and German psyche
logical journals, and German scient-
ist has written to Prof. Slosson for an
abstract of the experiment, intending
to include it in work on the power
of suggestion.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
The New Pet Cat.

A prominent figure at the Crystal
Palace cat show, says the London
Mail. was a lew sort of cat that is not
really cat at all, but lemu The
animal is soft and fluffy, and makes an
ideal pet for children owing to the
fact that. being a vegetarian, it is not
furnished with claws, and has merely
harmless teeth which it never Uses
spitefully. The Madagascar cat is it's
formal title, and there is every likeli-
hood that this pretty little creature
will become very popular as pet
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
LITTLE MIRRORS THE BEST.
Large Glasses Do Not Reflect as Well
as the Small Ones.


as the Small Ones.
In the mirrors of to-day the light is
reelected by a layer OF silver or an
analgam of tin, but proportion of
light is lost in the process of reflec-
ticn, aud the image is less luminous
than the original The value of a
L oklng'glass is usually estimated by
the thickness of the glass be
cause the thicker it is the stronger
1t must be. But speaking scientifical
ly thick glasses are defective, because
the outlines of the image reflected are
less clearly defined. An ideal mirror
is one with pert ectly fiat surface
But it is only possible to obtain this
result in comparatively small glasses
he larger glasses do not reflect true
image. because it is not possible to
make them quite fiat.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

II KIN GO OUT IN THE WINTER"
OF tn frost bites on their nose!
] Jest smoke up big and hefty
Warmin' that olfact'ry knob!
Plod puffin' and a pullin'
On my sweet Missoury cob!
Folks kin have their fine havanners.
Aromatic cigarettes!
All ! wants is my oil, corn-cob
An I'm wearin' epiletsl
l amt selfish! No, ner on'ry,
But I'm willin' ter admit
That ir anybody steals it
That there sumone will git At!
Fer I iuv my OIL Missoury
Full pure Verginny leaf;
Then I'm mighty nigh ter Heaven
Smokin' it-thets my belief!
Yes. likes my old Missoury
Corn-cob pipe with bamboo stem
Fer they ain't no cumfurts goin
Thet kin near compare with them!
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
The World Is Too Much With Us.

The world is too much with us; late and
soon,
Getting and spending. we lay waste our
powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sor-
did boon
This Sea that bares her bosom to the
moon:
The winds that will be bowling at all
hours.
And are up-gathered now like sleeping
flowers;
For this. for everything, we are out of
tune:
1t moves us not-Great God. I'd rather
be
y pagan sucked in n creed outworn:
So might /. standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less
forlorn:
Have sight of Proteus rising from the
sea,
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed
horn. Wordsworth.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

There ia Catarrh in this section of the country
than all other diseases put together, and until the
lasffew years was supposed to be incursble. For
great many years doctors pronounced It local dis
and prescribed local remedies and by
failing to cure with local treatment, pronounced It
incurable. Science has proven catarrh to be con-
stitutona sease aud therefore requires constitu-
toiial treatment Halls Catsrrh Cure, manufactured
by F. ]. Cheney Co.. Toledo, Ohio is the only
stitutionA the market It's taken internally
in doses from 10 drops to teaspoonful. 1t act d.
rectly on tho blood and mucous surfaces of tho
system They offer one hundre,i collars for any case
Il fails TO Send for circulars and testimonials.
Address F. j. CHENEY CO.. Toledo, ..
Sold by Druggists 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Ny OF Missoury.

When tn snow is on tn landscape
An theys diamonds in tn air,
with the mercury at zero
An tn frost most everywhere,
Then | likes my old Missoury
Corn-cob pipe with bamboo stem
Fer they amt no cumfurts goin'
Ihet kin near compare with them!
When lcicles is a hangin'
Firm tn caves of every roof.
/ kin bundle up all comfy
Clean firm baldy spot L hoof,
Chiils ther marrer-bones II trihe,
But red bandanny wipe
Keeps m ears all warm an toasty,
While my nose jest hugs that pipeI
l kin go out in tn winter
When tn frigid north wind blows!
Keepin' all the fellers feelin
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Retribution.
A. fellow rhymster says:

A fellow rhymSter says:
There was triumph in his eye.
For time he thought he'd missed her
When Autumn. nut-brown maid. passed
by.
Brave Jack Frost. the iceman. kissed
her.
She thought him really quite nice
man.
Now. how'd you like to be the iceman?"
Fine! Fine. my boy! We'd like to
be the iceman Just long enough to hit
you with a pair of ice tongs.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
A Rare Good Thinq.

cam using ALIENS FOOT-EASE, and
can truly say would not have been without
it so long, had i known the relief it would
give my aching feet. l think it n rare good
thing for anyone having sore or tired feet
Mrs. Matilda Holtwert, Providence, r. L."
Sold by all Druggists, 25c. Ask today.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Don't Rent a Farm-euv1

Colorado farmers can get good irri-
gated land, best of water rights, splen-
did crops, and pay about the usual
rental for the use of the land. In three
years they'll own 1t clear. The best
chance to get good farm ever offered
in the state. Write to-day to The
Colorado Bureau of immigration. Zeph
Chas. Felt. president. Majestic build
ing, Denver, Colorado.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Philanthropic Caller-Uncle, have
you lived in this little cabin all your
life? Uncle h'm-'Deed, no, boss.
Ise hopin' t live hyar good many mo-
yeahs yit.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

c-, quality Srd ezra quantity
ou r,n This "a VII Defiance
Starch is taking the
others. L
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

No chromos or cheap premiums.
but better quality and one-third
more of Defiance Starch for the same
price of other starches
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

A goose that lays an egg d ese gnu
The hen that laid comm lii unto,d
Each day would bring US 'i
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Health has been defined as some
thing than God gives and the doctors
take away.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

When you attempt to strike match in
the dark the head is always on the other
end,
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Hes the luckiest man ever
knew. He's won two raffles." ASK
him how many he lost
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Wise is the man who IS i0,e not 10 hipK Keep ep
his mouth shut when he IL
saw.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

ut beats all how good cigar you can
buy for 5 cents If you buy the right
Drand. Try "Bullhead"
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Although tomorrow may never come
riably arrives.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

To Cure Cold in oNe iy hia,: All
Take Laxative Bromo Qninln.. i@o 80 o., a."
druggists refund money1f ltl-
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

The mildest tobacco that grows is used
in the makeup of BaXter's Bullhead o.
cent cigar. Try one and see.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

The secret of the popularity of Baxters
"Bullhead 5-cent cigar is revealed in one
word-"Quality."
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken of as
q cough cure.-J. w. O'BnIEN, 3oa Third Ave,
NJ, Minneapolis, MINI, Jan. 8, 1900
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

The New York Central is advertis-
calling attention to the fact that New
York has more theatrical and musical
attractions than any other city in the
world, and gives a list of a few of the
principal actors now on the stage or
to be seen in its A playhouses this
winter This list includes:
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

It's tough turkey that's able to hole
over for another term.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Perfectly simple and simply perfect
IS dyeins with PUTNAM FADELESS
DYES.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Smoke Baxter's "Bullhead i'een

you can't discourage III prohiDlitioh
by throwing cold 'A'ei oii H.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

A smile of satisfaction goes with one of
BaXters "Bullhead'' scent cigars.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Husband-"How much will that new
hat cost?' Wife-"How much have you
p'
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

what tempted you to engage in such
n dangerous business counterfeiting? %
II wanted to make money"
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

If man feels it in his bones, it's
apt to be rheumatism
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

A good two-foot rule-pon't wear tight
shoes.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

The race is not always to the man who
has his money down on straight tip.-
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gums reduces in
daumation, allays PAIN wind coic. 25c bottle
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

winter This list includes:
Henry Irving Thomas Q. Seabrooks
Richard Mansfield Cecilia Lotus
Mrs. Leslie Carter Sidney Herbert
Rose Coghlan Mrs. Yeamans
Maude Adams William Collier
Blanche Bates Agnes Booth
Francis Wilson kyrle Bellew
f. H. Sothern Jessie Milward
John Drew Charles Hawtrey
Maxine Elliott William II. Crane
Tyrone Power James X. Hackett
Charlotte Weihe Annie Irish
Edward Harrigan j. E. Dodson
Margaret Dale Frank Daniels
Nesta Tilley Grace NanStuddiford
Elita Proctor Otis Ethel Barrymore
VIM. Gillette Weber & Fields.
In addition to the above attractions,
grand opera. under the direction of Mr..
Heinrich Conried. will be given during
the winter at the Metropolitan Opera
House. and will include some of the great
Wagner operas and for the first time in
this country "Parsifal." There will also
be light opera under the direction of
Victor Herbert, with hundreds of con-
certs and musical entertainments by fa-
nous artists.
Incidentally. attention is called to
the fact that the New York Central
Lines offer the finest service between
the West and New York with their
trains a day from Chicago, from
St. Louis, from Cincinnati and IA
from Buffalo landing people in the
center of tie hotel, theatre and resi-
,dence portion Of the metropolis.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Landlady-Mr. Old Boarder will YOU re-
turn thanks? Boarder-No. thanks.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

omelettes at this season are very eggs
pensive.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

Jack Nervy-I'm going to kiss you when
I leave this house tonight" May kutely
Leave the house this instant. sir!
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
Mother Gray. Sweet Powder. for Chr,ar.n

Successfully used by Mother Gray, nurse
in the Children's Home in New York. cure
Constipation, Feverishness, Bad Stomach,
Teething Disorders, move and regulate the
Bowels and Destroy Worms. Over sc, 600 tes-
timonials. At all Druggists. Csc. Sample
FREE Address A. S. Olmsted, Leroy, NY.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

II you have smoked a Bullhead scent
cigar you know how good they are: II
you have not. better try one.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02

A man who Is looking for trouble car
usually find 1t without trouble.
The Glenwood post., 1904-01-02
= = =
Sometimes Needed.

Sometimes Needed.
Bings-"Do you know. Wings,
think it woefully bad custom, this
throwing of rice at newly married
couplest"
Wings-"Yes?"
Bings-"Yes! How much better It
would be to hand it to them in a sack
as a nucleus on which to begin house
keeping!"
Grammatical.
To the Editor-Which Is the more
correct: (a} II have a nice watch" or
bb II have got q nice watch ?"-J.
w.
The first sentence is correct, but a
more popular form is: my uncle has
my nice watch!"
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Evans Farmers Met .

A meeting of farmers about Evans
was held at that place one week ago
Yesterday to discuss plans for beet
raising next season. The meeting
was called largely for the purpose OF
seeing what could be done about Sc
curing a beet dump for Evans, SO
far the country about Evans has never
produced beets enough to entitle that
place to a beet dump, but 1t is ex-
pected that they will have one there
next summer, as the acreage will
probably be increased some and the
sugar company has expressed a Will
lnyness to make some concessions in
the acreage. The question Of price
Of beets for next season was also dis
cussed some, but with the exception
OF the appointment OF . delegate
to meet with beet growers from other
parts of the country to discuss this
matter little or nothing was done,
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
At Their Own Game.

The II. NJ. ArbuGkle, j. G. Will
kinson and G. Reinks families have
a euchre club and hold weekly meet
ing during the winter season at each
others homes. The ladies are ex-
perts, play the game by rule and US
ually do theiI husbands eight times
out Of ten when an opportunity is
Offered. But the men folks make up
for their deficiency, for in ways that
are dark and tricks that are vain
they are as peculiar" as Bret
Harte's Heather Chinee. One night
last week the sextette got together
for a lev hours amusement and the
men saw their finish unless drastic
measures were adopted, and adopted
they were, for II. NJ. Arbuckle is a
sure enough conjufor with the
'kyards. He paimed aces and
bowers till In a short time he was
ordering his opponents up or playing
it alone. He had cards sticking in
the neckband Of his shirt, In his boot
tops and up his sleeve and when the
amusement came to q close the result
showed that the women had but three
out OF fourteen games to their credit; !;
and yet the average man has the
audacious nerve to declare that nine
women out OF every ten will cheat at
every favorable opportunity.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
School Notes.

The following list Of teachers has
been granted certificates through
the examination held here December
l7-ls: Emma c. Danforth, L. Haude
Jones, Julia A. Stowe, Grace A.
Hammitt, Hazel l. Hurd, Et1e lrv-
ing, Ella May Congdon, Beulah Ar.
mour, Helen w. Manfull. George E.
Burbridge, all now teaching in Weld
county: Minnie L. Shaw, Ethel l..
Ellis, Mamie E. Gilmore Of Denver.
County Superintendent Shook has
been chosen chairman OF committee
com posed OF himself, ex-State Super
lntendent Dick and D. r. Hatch,
appointed by the educational council
OF the state to act together with
some of the hold-over senators in
securing revision OF the present
school laws. The laws at present
are patched up and are considered
contradictory In many places. The
state teachers association at its re-
cent meeting in Denver voted 500
toward defraying the expense.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Girls VS.. Girls.

Greeley girls can play basket oall
just as well as Greeley boys can.
They proved this last Friday evening
when the girls team of the Greeley
High cshooI defeated the girls of the
Folt Morgan High school by a score
of IA to 4. One of, the largest crowds
that ever witnessed a basket ball
game in the Armory hall here was
present to cheer the young ladies on
in the fight, The game was almost
as snappy as some that the boys put
up, and the applause was even more
generous as one or the other OF the
contestants made a good play.
The lineup was as follows:
Greeley: Fay Pattee and Stella
Burchill, forwards; Henrietta Shell
don, center: Ruth Flint AMI Lois
Wright, guards, Rhoda Haynes and
Jessie Mosher, substitutes. Fort
Morgan: Daisy Heiskell and Bessie
Patterson. forwards; Agnes Haskell,
center; Freda Miller and Flora Curry,
guards: Ruth Bartlett, substitute.
The Greeley tribune., 1904-01-14
Congratulations.

Mr.. John Fl. Cullom, editor of the
Garland, Texas, News, has written
letter Of congratulations tU the man.
ufacturers of Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy as follows: "Sixteen years
ago when our first child was a baby
he was subject 70 croupy spells ano
we would be very uneasy about him.
We began using Chamberlain S Cough
Remedy In 1887, and finding it such
a reliable remedy for colds and Group,
we have never been without it in the
house since that time. We have five
children and have given 1t to all of
them with good results. One good
feature OF this remedy is that it is
not disagreeable to take and our
babies really like il. Another is
that it is not dangerous, and there is
no iisk from giving au overdose.
congratulate you upon the success CT
your remedy. For sale by all drug
giSts.