Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-03-03

they cried Never saw nothing like
it-never did
But I'll hear all about 1t while We
are at breakfast Or cours- ! am
proud OF you and OF courr- want 10
hear the full details
You'll hear all about EN- tonight
and right now" doggedlv replied Mr.
Bowser, as he brought his fist down
on his knee. In the first place l
got to er club. Got that down.
Yes"
Received royal welcome from all
er members All of EN- shaid would
be a er honor to er club Then I got
up to speak Never felt cooler IN nv
life. Didn't shiver one shiver ThAt'
er SOFT of husband you have got, Mrs
Bowser, bur you don't know it. 4ou
Jess think I'm a cooper or blacksmith,
and that do not know oratory from
blackberries.
well, you got up and delivered
your address on the Pilgrim Fathers,
she said.
81 did Had applause the first
thing I hadn't hardly said that tbr
hzzle band of true hearted men and
women shailrd away from the shores
of Egypt before there was enthusi-
astic applause.
Good land, but you didn't say
Egypt p
OF course | dld-of course Yon
don't shuppose I had 'em shall a"">
from the shores of Africa, do you !?
You would have shaid so but | did
not They shailed and shailed and
finally landed in Florida That
brought more applause-lots of ap'
plaus Shome men laughed till they
had to hold their sides"
"Mr. Bowser, did you land the
Pilgrim Fathers in Florida ?" solemnly
asked Mrs Bowser.
"sbertinly. 1t was in the winter
time and they wanted cokernuts and
bananas and so landed EN- in Florida
You wouldn't have thought Of that,
would you? 1t was the best thing in
er whole speech and they all said so.
But they landed at Plymouth Rock
on the shores of Massachusetts, "
woman, don't dispute me Ifyou
had been there and heard the aP-
plause you wo Id never have disPuted
me again. You tend to er bousework
and I'll tend to er Pilgrim Fszzers
"Well2" she queried, as he folded
his arms and looked up at the ceiling
and nodded his head.
Next great hit l made, " he con-
tinued after a bit, "was when Ispoke
of er heroism and integrity Of Miles
Washington, their leader Applause
was tremendous-absolutely tremen-
dous. Men jess got up ard whooped
and yelled and slapped each other on
the back.
"Mr. Bow8er, you didn't call him
Miles Washington, did you? You
didn't mix Miles Standish and George
Washington up that way? ?"
Il spoke of Miles Washington and
what said went, replied Mr.. Bow
ser. Don't you try to learn me any
thing about history. If you think |
don't know Miles Washington from
George Standish you will get badly
left. Yesh, the applause was deafen'
ening. l had to wait for FIVE minutes
and then l went on to tell Of er hard
ships-no oysters, champagne, roast
lamb, on angels food-Ho nozzlng but
Johnny cake and fat pork gravy
Made nozzer hit there. Shaw more
than ten men break down and weep.
Il don't wonder at it. Then you
fnished2"
mo zir-no zir. Then went on
and spoke of throwing coffee over
board in Plymouth Rock"
You mean the tea and Boston
harbor. You couldn't have made
such mistake as that2"
Mrs. Bowser, are you er Pilgrim
Fszzer2" asked Mr.. Bowser with
great gravity.
20. course not.
did you help throw that coffee
overheard ?"
No, but"
"Zhen what do you know about III
Don't try to correct me IN history
Mrs. Bowser, cause you can't do 1t
Zhe applause Was something AWFUL
and l had to wait FIVE minutes to gc
on. Zhen l was ready to wind up
| l had shaved zhe best tor the last
Wanted to make EN- cry and langt
togezzer, you know.