The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-12-10
III
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10 49,
ny, believe" "Yes, His neonlo ha1a
~ roan glasses for three generationa."-I
~ you dare kiss me again win call
papa@ Il thought you said your fath.
er was in California p "Ha d
Houston Post.
FIRST Doctor-Then we decide not to
operate. Second Doctor-Yes. what
DO you think we ought to charge him
Life. OoA' -
LADY, have nothing to give you,
my poor man, but some cold sausages,
Knight Of the Road-'Scuse me. mum
put don't your sign say, Beware of
the Dog2"
Clarinda-You can't keep a dog in
your new fiat? FIorinda-No. we had
70 give Fido away; but Frederick had
MS dear little bark put In our phono-
graph. -- Cincinnati Commercial Trib-
une.
A teacher was explaining to a little
girl how the trees developed their
tollage In the springtime. "Oh, yes"
said the little miss, II understand; they
keep their summer clothes in their
trunks"
Doctor" queried the inquisitive per-
son, do you believe that the cigarette
habit causes weak minds?' "Not nec-
essarily," replied the M. D.; "as rule
1t merely indicates Chicago
Daily News.
Whats that racket down there? ~
shouted the old gentleman from the
head OF the stairs. II think" promptly
replied his up-to-date daughter, "that
1t was Bob dropping his voice when
he proposed to me-"
macintosh boasts good deal about
his family, doesn't hep Eyes, l think
he claims that the head Of his family
was the original Macintosh that Noah
had with him during that rainy sea.
son."-Philadelphia Press.
Bridget-Why, Master Tommy, what
ever is the matter2 Tommy-Ive hurt
my Inland in the h-hot water. Bridget
-Shure, thin, it serves you right. You
should have felt the water before you
put your hand in!-Punch.
"What is loveT asked the sweet girl
who was looking for chance to leap
Love-" replied the old bachelor, sis
a kind Of insanity that makes a mar
call a two hundred pound female hil
little turtle dove."-Chicago News.
Mrs. Muggins-My husband is a per
feet crank. Mrs. Buggins-All hus
bands are, my dear. Mrs. Muggins-
But fancy man who complains thai
my mustard plasters are not as strong
as those his mother used to make!
Maud-See this ring? Archie gave
it to me the other evening. Irene
l thought l recognized it. You'll fint
it has a rough place just under tn
setting that will make your tinge
sore.-Cincinnah Commercial Tribune
A juniSr student Cornell Univer
sity, In rendering an account to hi
father of his last terms expenses, en-
tered as an item: CHARITY, thirty dol
lars" His father wrote back: Il fea
that charity covers a multitude o
SINS"
"Do you think they'll be happy nov
they're marriedT "Well, I don't SCI
why not. They eat the same kind o
breakfast food, take the same brant
of dyspepsia tablets, and wear tn
same make of hygien1c underwear.
Town Topics.
IT suppose, Senator" she said, "tha
you try to keep in touch with the flnan
cial interests of the country" "If
didn't, my dear girl, I'd have to Gu
down my Twin expenses or prActic
law a good deal harder than 1 do BIZ
tween sessions. Fix.
A Little Rusty: "The bride SCENE
quite nervous, didn't she7" remarke
the first Chicago girl. Naturally" re
plied the other; "she's somewhat on
of practice. It's the first time She
been married since last year. "-Phils
delphia Public Ledger.
Visitor-What a racket the stear
makes clanking through the pipes! Fla
Dweller (shivering)-Yes. 1t remind
me of one of Shakspeare's plays. Viz
itor - Which-"The Tempest?" Fla
Dweller-No. "Much Ado About Moth
ing."-Town and Country.
A teacher in an East Side school l
trying to explain the meaning of til
word SLOWLY" illustrated it by wall
ing across the floor. When he aske
the class to tell him how he walked
a boy at the foot of the class shouted
"Bow-legged, sir."-Lippincott's.
az lost my foot in the war;" said th
tramp, land I'm trying to raise enoug
money to get out to California" "Wha
do you want to go to California for!
asked the woman at the door. "Ol
I've heard that there are things whic
grow a foot in a day out there. "-Yol
kers Statesman.
Friend of the Family-1 want
give your husband birthday presen
What do you think would please hiI
most? Mrs. Kutely-Oh, a stlckpH
ao1,o. hne ono1IUh Of then