West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-01-21
MRS. DONSER'S CURE.
She Tells How She Administered n
Dose 10 Mr.. Bowser.

would not stop at the furniture
store next morning and have man
sent up to remove the furniture.
"Not if l know myself" he
promptly replied. '1've nothing to
do this evening, and 1t will be anice
bit of exercise for me to clear that
room out. / don't propose to pay
no furniture man s7s to hang
around here for week, when ] can
do the work in half an hour. That's
you exactly--always ready to push
me along toward the poorhouse in
anyway you can"
''But the bureau and bedstead
are mahogany and very heavy and
cumbersome" / protested. 'Iast
year when you set out to take down
the bed
81 took it down." he interrupted;
s'and never was a bedstead taken
down quicker or better"
"But the headboard fell against
the wall, and the footboard fell
against you, and"
'sAnd nothing of the kind hap
pened, Mrs. Bowser. had the room
all clear in 10 minutes, as shall
this time, and if l stubbed my toe
or anything of that kind it didn't
amount to shucks. You stay right
down here while ! do the lightning
act"
When Mr.. Bowser sets out to
carry thing through no protests
or arguments are of avail, and so /
realized that it was useless 10 say
more. However, when he had
changed his clothes and was ready
to begin work / slipped part way
upstairs and presently l heard him
say to himself;
sfThe idea of getting furniture
man up herel Does Mrs. Bowser
think / am child7 I'll wollop
this old bedstead out of here in
three boots and holler. OFF
. comes the mattress, and--and---"
Ia trying to pass through the
door with the mattress over his
shoulders Mr.. Bowser bumped his
head against the frame and had to
drop his burden. He Used the Eng
glish language in which 10 express
his feelings, and he made use of
words | had never seen in the die
tionaries. 1t was five minutes be-
fore his head got over aching, and
he then made new and successful
attack on the mattress.
When it had been disposed of he
returned for the springs. In his
impetuons way he made a sudden
dive and lifted and twisted and
yanked, and l knew that another
calamity was at hand A set of bed
springs can't be toyed with like a
bolster. 1t takes some planning
and diplomacy to get them to va
cate bedroom and occupy some
other quarters
As Mr.. Bowser began to prance
around the room with the springs !
heard sudden fall and ran up and
looked into the room to find him
on his back, with his legs tangled
up with the wires. / drew back
while he was getting up, and for
the next FIVE minutes ne was busy
with an Grafton in which the land
ing of the Pilgrim Fathers and the
Satanic ingenuity OF the man who
invented bed springs were about
equally disparaged. Not wishing
to be overheard he kept his voice
down, but it was thrilling grafton,
nevertheless.
When it was concluded he got
hold Of the springs in a careful de-
liberate way, and they went to join
the mattress without further adyen.
ture. Then he was ready 70 take
down the bedstead, which was really
a job for two men, and as he stood
and surveyed II ] heard HIM say:
Its as big as house and heavy
as load Of bricks, but 1911 have the
best Of II in Eve minutes wonder
whether you take the headboard or
footboard hrst7 Mebbe il don't
make any difference.
"dr. Bowscr," / said as ! enter
ed re room and found him stand
ing before the bedstead with a
rather anxious look on his face,
"don't you think cook or ! had bet.
ter help yUu take Out the Sails2'
"Didnt ] request you 70 remain
Downstairs with your nose in a
novel?' he answered as he waved
me away.
Eyes, but ] thought heard a
bump and a fall up here little