The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1904-09-01

nat Net Swiftly.
The man was writing rapidly.
But he vas writing very slowly.
Eua he. being f~literate. was unoecioeo -
10 whether he should use n or tWe
'p's IN spelling IL
Yet he was writing rapidly.
But very slowly.
baltimore American
Amsne the Four Hundred.
"T can't imagine what made the
bridegroom 50 nervous"
81 can"
"what?s
-He didn't have time TO get his pro
spective father-in-law's check certined
before the ceremony.'-Chicago Post.
The New Relative.
Father-Arabella. do you know oui
housekeeper Is going to be marrieds
Daughfer-Is that sof It's time the
old dragon Is getting out OF the house
Who Is she going to marry!
Father.-Me.-Cinclnnati Commercial
Tribune.
A rran.fornaatfon.
There was an itinerant cobbler
Who sat down to dine with a gobeler.
When the dinner was done.
There remained only one.
And he wal both cobbler and gobbier.
Good Housekeeping
Mr.. c. "~ssppese."
Mrs. Crimsonbeak-This paper says
the iawbone Of a whale OF average size
measures about seven feet In length.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-It doesn't mention
the size Of the jawbone Of the female
whale. l suppose.-Yonkers Statesman
Very swell
Stubb-They are indeed rich.
Penn-Rich enough to own dis
monds?
Stubb-Far better. Rich enough IL
own buildogs-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Man Of letter.
There once was a cunning J. p.
Whose warrants were dated A D:
They passed as o. K
TIL q fierce pos
Made ready signed warrants n. O.
Chicago Tribune
Never Year 0vn.
do you really believe there is such
q thing In this world as perfect happi-
nessT"
-Of course. but some other fellow al
yays has ft"-Denyer News
The Danger.
do you think that the automobile
win cause the extinction OF the horseT
Not unless the horse persists In get
ting In the way" answered the chauf
feur.-washington Star.
Romance of q Poor Young Man.
He bought q costly solitaire
To give to q maiden fair.
And he sighed. Yes riches do have
For the witches must nave rings"
Chicago Tribune
Knesv what struck Hin.
Daly-Ye were sunstruck. re sayf
Why. man alive. the sun could never
disigure q mans face like that.
Riley-Ye don't know me on. DAILY
Brooklyn Life.
Keep at II.
IF at first you don't succeed
Try. Try again. and then
II you do succeed indeed.
Try even Jet again
Philadelphia Press
Accepted and Filled.
NO. I make ii a practice never 4.
carry money around with me"
What Is your reason?-
Il haven't any to cany."-Cicvcinu
Plain Dealer.
Confinueus school.
Experience 10 a teacher
A teacher good and great
But under II no creature
Yet lived to graduate.
Brooklyn Life
Her View Of u.
Hell met Flora In 4 car yesterday.
and ! gave her my seat
she1Grac3ous, 30 she can't hide hei
age even from you.-Cheisea CAIasSi
Gazette.
eIa1Ehter.
The melancholy days are here
And they are Tot . sham:
The farmer fats the turkey nov
Whne Val street kills the lamb
New York Time&
Ugiy TAfag.
MY husband never speaks q crosl
word 70 me-.
How long have you been separat.
s6Y-Cindnnau Commercial Tribune.
Henpeek speaks
xf3<3dR heres . truth that 10 a. clear
As Il 10 deep:
6Ow e2. . feEbswrs wife be dear
While talk 10 cheArr
-Phn2aelphia Ledger.
Wet Thss KfnA-
CAurch-Her grandfather was q skfp
per. and he settled In Canada
Gothan-Indeed, How much did be
ct away wifhs-Yonken Statesman
Tee mech Repefffton.
with hash and stew and po;pie-
Cried Boarcer Number One
This d1sng roast beef over