davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

/ And shining morning face, creeping
like a snail
Unwillingly TO school
What Tommy-rot that is nova
days, when school is made so attrac-
i've that hockey. once our National
Game, has lost its SAVIOR and TIE aver
age lad would sooner miss the circus
than absent himself from his lectures
ON the Duties of Center Rush or neg
lect his experiments in practical bas-
Ret ball Indeed. how empty that whole
blooming soliloquy Of the Solemcholy
Jacques seems 10 our Twentieth Cen
fury intelligence"
Nonsense" retorted the Biblio-
maniac ia such heat that he tried to
transfer his coffee 10 his lips with his
butter-knife. That Soliloduy is one of
the classics Of the English tongue. 1t
VIII be remembered when your cham
pion football player Of The Twentieth
Century is lost in oblivion"
In form, yes" said the Idiot. But
not. my friend. i'm substance, for the
reason that the situations it depicts no
longer prevail. Not only has the school
become the School Boys Club. just as
the Saloon is the salon of the Walking
Delegate. but the lover no longer signs
like a furnace. with q woeful ballad
made to his mistress eyebrow Your
Nineteenth Century lover doesn't give
rap for his mistress eyebrow and re-
allies that all the signing like q fur
mace or clicking like "a radiator in the
world won't win a girls heart i'm these
days with Matinee tickets on sale. and
caramels fresh every hour waiting the
gentle masticating touch of Lis fair
Rosalinds pearly molars. Then the
soldiers seeking the bubble reputation
even i'm Tie Cannon's mOuth-really
that makes me laugh. / leave it 10
you, Mr.. Brief. II you find any soldier
nowadays seeking the bubble reputa-
ton at the Cannon's mouth?"
And where. may 1 ask. does he seek
it2' asked the Bibliomaniac.
AT tie point OF the Camera. - replied
the Idiot I'm mad assaults upon the
editorial sanctums of the magazines.
In the sickening shambles of news
paper interviews. In the thunderous
roar Of his personal "reminiscences. In
the deadly depths of autobiography.
It's the man behind the gun nowadays
that lassoes the bubble reputation. The
man who tries the other end of the
proposition may get a short cut to
heaven, but the bubble reputation be-
longs to the survivor who comes home
sasses the administration and gets
mentioned for the Presidency by the
opposition. And so it goes through the
whole speech. Your modern justice
doesn't go in for the eyes severe and
beard of formal cut" II is the glad
eye and the smiling, rubicund face of
Mr.. Jolly your modern justice hands
out, so that when he finds his first
term coming 10 a close his constitu-
ents VIII give him another fourteen
years on the bench at seventeen thou
sand five hundred per. priveded ne
isn't put up for Governor or something
else In the interim"
You forgot the impressive finish of
the poem. said the Doctor "The ac-
curacy of that stands the test of time,
| guess:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

way towards the forest 1t was not
difficult 10 guess what he had been
after, even if l had not seen a little
shoal of perhaps thirty trout swimmlns
across the sun-lightcd bed of the
stream. Most OF these trout were
small, only three or four over six
inches i'm length. and they seemed 10
have little fear Of me. They did not
seem to mind me as / moved quietly
about, though they seemed somewhat
nervous if / made a particularly vio-
lent movement. If. however, 1 allowed
the shadow Of my hand or arm TO fan
upon them, they darted away Ike
speckled lightning and did not return
for minutes.
III places along the banks blue gen
tan was growing, and here and theIe
an aster was reflected on the stream.
Now and then in some sheltered spot
a spray of goldenrod was to be seen.
and pearly everlasting still held ITS
own i'm the fields round about.
Still following the brook. / presently
entered the forest. and here could be
heard the faint sound of a cascade far
up among the hills. The ground be-
came much rougher. and il was. neces-
sary to make my way around boulders
and over fallen trees in order TO follow
the windings Of the brook Every now
and then a ruffed grouse, and some
times two or three OF them in rapid
succession, would start up before ne
without previous warning, and hy
whirring away through the tree trunks.
These birds would probably be much
more numerous than they are if il were
not for the foxes which everywhere
abound, and which are not only quick
enough 10 catch young grouse, bu,l
crafty enough TO outyyit the old ones
When at length / reached the water
fall ] saw a wonderfully beautiful
sight. The brook at this point ran
through the bottom of a little gorge.
whose rocky sides were overhung with
trees and wild creepers. all in gorgeous
autumn eolors, and at the end was the
falling water. Twenty feet above me-
and through a deep cleft In the stone.
the brook lesped clear i'm a graceful
arch 70 a pool at the bottom Of the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

gorge. where the water boiled and
seethed and finally fed away past my
feet. chattering through the pebbIy
rapids to quieter spots below And IN
the sunlight which streamed down the
gorge stood a group of white-tailed
deer. their brown winter coats glisten-
ing with the fine spray from the fail
One was large and handsome buck,
with eight points on each of his new
and well grown antlers; two were spike
bucks, and one was a faWn, who had
already lost his white spots. and whose
embryo antleTs could be seen as two
bumps, one above either eye. The sound
of the falling water prevented them
from hearing my footsteps, and the
wind was in the wrong direction for
them TO get my scent. So l hid and
watched them as tn moved about.
perfectly unconscious. They did nCt
move i'm a body, but each one at viii,
Eibbling the grass and flowers which
grew at the sides of the gorge near the
fan. AS they walked, their legs
seemed very straight and stiff. and 10
one VINO had never seen these creatures
in rapid motion it would scarcely seem
possible that they were capable of tnC
most wonderful agility. Soon they de-
cided TO cross the stream, and as they
came down to il they were obliged 10
step from one ledge of rock TO a lower
one. Here, for the first time. / learned
that these animals can voluntarily
move their toes. for as they lifted their
front legs forward TO step down. they
spread their toes TO their widest while
their hoofs were still al a distance from
the ground. Then they walked quietly
through the rough but shallow water.
and along the opposite side Of the
brook. until they were behind me.
Scarcely had they passed when the bic
buck who was leading stopped, turned
his head and shifted the air. He had
got my wind. and, with a warning
snort. he dashed away from the gorge.
taking the boulders I'm his stride, and.
followed by the rest of his little band,
Lassed from view among the trees.
leaving me to marvel at that wonderful
piece of animal mechanism which has
been labeled deer"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16
AN AUTUMN WALK. ~ By IRNEST HAROLD BAYNEs

Up here i'm New Hampshire the au-
tumn sets in early. and by the last Of
September there are a hundred re-
minders of the coming winter, and the
people take the hints and busy them
selves in reshingling their houses, re-
pairing their barns, and in laying in
little mountains of wood to keep the
houses habitabIe during the long and
often bitter winter. Bits of bright col.
ored autumn foliage are seen even m
August and the goldenrod is pracu-
cally thing of the past some time be-
fore it has reached its best say in
New York.
Yesterday I went out for a walk. Il
was a typical autumn morning. bright
and frosty, with wet grass and an odOr
of ripe apples in the air. As / struck
out through the fields the work Of the
frost was visible everywhere. Most Of
the ferns were black and shriveled.
much of the grass was brown. and the
wild flowers for the most part had
gone to seed. Where in August there
had been seas Of glorious goldenrod.
the fields were gray with the seedy
tops; goldhnches were scattering clouds
of thistle silk. but round about, the for
ests burned with the autumn hues.
Soon / came TO a brook running
through a meadow and l walked alon-
its bank towards the hills in which il
rises. The water was so clear that
even in the deepest parts, one might
distinguish the separate grains OF
sand upon the bottom. In some places
there were tiny waterfalls, down when
the water spiashed seemingly with
more than the necessary amount OF
noise; in others there were beds OF
shining and bright colored pebbles,
where the water was churned to milky
whiteness, to become clear again
minute later, as il poured silently into
some deep sun-hghted pool, where
speckled trout could be seen dartIng
from bank to bank, or lying among the
pebbles at the bottom, with their fms
slowly tanning the water. As neare1
one of these pools a great blue heron
rose slowly into the air and winged nj,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16
The Genial Idiot. He Takes Fall Out Of Shakespeare

THE Bibliomaniac had just recited
the famous soliloquy of the Melan-
choly Jacques IN Shakespeare
LAS You Like It.:
"AI the worlds a stage,
And all tie men and women merely
players.
They have their exits and their en-
frances.
And one man in his time plays many
parts.
His acts being seven ages. At first
the infant.
Mewling and puking in the nurses
arms.
And then the whining school boy, with
his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping
like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the
Signing Ike furnace, with woefu
Made to his mistress eyebrow. Then a
soldier,
Full Of strange oaths and bearded like
a pard
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in
quarrel
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the lannon's mouth. And then
the justice.
in fair round belly With good capon
lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal
cut,
Full of wise saws and modern in
stances;
And 50 he plays his part. The sixth
age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon.
With spectacles on nose and pouch on
side,
His youthful hose, well saved a world
too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big.
manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble.
pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene
Of all,
That ends this strange, eventful his
Is second chndishness and mere OBJ
livion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans !
everything"
Magnificent. eL?" he cried. enthusi-
astically
I prefer oatmeal for breakfast" re- I
piled the Idiot.
An immortal poem, said the Bib T,
lomaniac.
Perhaps but / still wish i'm Snite
OF the fact that we have Clyde Fitch
and George AIDE TO write our plays for
us that Mr.. Shakespeare could come
back 10 town." said the idiot, absent
mindedly pouring the maple syrup into
lis coffee. There are a lot of state
ments that man has made that I think /
in the light of modern Developments I
he'd like TO modify Just take those |
lines yuu have just recited for in /
stance. in which the immortal Will /
liam says
And then the whining school boy I
with his satchel
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16
BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS

Last scene of all
That ends this strange, eventful his
tory.
Is second childishhess and mere OBJ
liViOn,
Sans teeth. sans eyes, sans taste, sans
everything.
You can't get away from the truth
of that Mr.. Idiot"
That's the worst Of the lot" laughed
the Idiot. IF there's one thing we
cont deny to old age nowadays its
teeth, eyes, taste, and honors. We
don't put our old men in asylums ds
they did i'm Jacques time-or, at least.
We don't in this country. We send 'em
to the senate. We nominate 'em for
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

his life giving positively last farewell
performances. Why. [ know two mat
inee idols who are over so and who are
not only not sans teeth, but have a
separate set for every day of the
week, and a dozen press agents who
write eight hours a day apiece ward
ing off what Shakespeare is pleased TO
term oblivion. Just you take a round q
up of the old men Of the present day f.,
Doctor. and see for yourself if what
say isn't so. There's the patriarch at
Skibo. Is he sans everything? Not
according to the assessors. Ask the
Oil King if he can buy as much OBJ
liyion as he'd like to have with all the
wealth at his command, and see what
he tells you. Ask Uncle Russell Sage
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

the vice presidency. We put 'em on
the bench. We make Captains Of Fl
nance out of them. If we find a twin
brother to old Methusaleh I'm our midst
with a comfortable pile of dollars laid
by. there's no more oblivion for HIM.
but a very pleasing publicity. We
laugh at his after dinner speeches. We
call him The Grand Old Man of Tt
oga,' OF The Sage of West Virginia.
or The Nestor of American Politics.
or The Star-eyed God of Oratory,' and
10 the extent that he gives up we
shove him into any high place of ease
and distinction that happens to be va
cant at the time we need a campaign
contribution. on the stage we permit
him to spend the last thirty years Of
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

if he is sans teeth and sans taste when
he takes his famous luncheon off the
rich red pippin from the apple wo-
mans stand. Ask Grandpa Gassaway
what he thinks of the quality of tha
second childishness that has come his
way at the age of 50. Ask Brother
Depew if he ever pines for his lost
youth, If you dare. Buy a ticket for
London and ask that frisky 70-yeaT-Old
Joe Chamberlain whether he carries
his career before or behind him. Ask
King Edward If old age creeping OH
Gpace has destroyed his capacity for
travelling incCg. Try to read those
lines on age before a quorum Of the
United States senate and see If that
venerable body Will permit YOU to fin
ish or to have the lines printed in the
Congressional Record. | venture TO as
Sert. sir. that under modern conditions
there are more men between so and 10
who are lacking in teeth, taste. eyes,
and everything than you will find IL
the ranks Of the patriarchs. II is true
that in our army and navy men have
TO go on the retired list at s., but that
is only because room has to be MADE
at the top Of the ladder for other old
men who are coming along. I'm other
=
lation nowadays To get the old men out
Of the way And the soliloquy isn't
any better at its other end, either"
DO leave US something" pleaded the
BibHomaniaC.
The modern infant doesn't go mewl-
ing around in his nurses arms, not b.,
long shot" persisted the Idiot. lie
plants himself comfortably i'm an in
hot 20 Mil N
exhibited at any old worlds fair that
happens to be in progress at the mo-
ment of his debut. He lies off COM
fortably on his all-woOl pillow and per-
mits the million to look at him through
a plate glass window at 10 cents
head and when that is over and he
begins TO make use of his tongue, he
cracks jokes that are printed in all
the religious and comic papers of the
country. At the age of , he is famous
as wit and his cunning repartee con-
yulses the nation with laughter. The
things that little Willie says and the
bright remarks of Flossie. only Is
months old. culed from the columns
of the monthly magazines win IN ii
book of a thousand closely printed
pages. Really. Mr.. Bib. much as 1
would like to agree with yOr. I can't
THIS time Shakespeare IS away be-
hind the times in that poem"
What a pity you didn't write il,
sneered the Ribhomaniae.
"Oh. but l have written it" said the
Idiot. What's more, l am sending II
to the ShaSespeaFean society to be in
corperated In the defnitive edition that
is now being prepared. Here is the re-
vised version:
An the worlds subway
And all the men and women merely
49, motormen.
They have their exits and their en-
frances
And one man in his turn wells many
stations,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

Cincinnati Commercial Tribune)
Bjones-Addicks says that the Demo-
Gratis can't buy Delaware
BjohnsOn-How do you suppose he
knew that Hank Davis wasn't going TO
loosen up2
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16
Sizing Him I'm.

rs life really worth Iiving?" asked
the man with the question habit.
Yours evidently isn't" replied the
philosophical person; otherwise Won
would never have asked such a fool
question
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

Their number being seven At first the
infant.
Wnking and blinking on his incubator
bed.
Disposed hygienically and in view Of all
Who have the cash, he waxeth fat and
full Of fun.
And then the lively schoolboy with his
motor car.
And stomach full of Vim. chuggins
like mad
To his gymnastics wherein from day
to day
He practices on punching bags, and
signals learns.
And then the lover, with his pockets
full
or ready cash and credit at the stores.
Who seeks his Hearts Desire with
Fudges.
Frippery and tickets for the Faver-
sham
Then a soldier. full of strange notions.
And eye upon his pard who hands him
out
The stars he seeks upon his shoulders
broad to place.
Seeking the bubble reputation in the
well OF ink.
Zen at the point Of stylograph. whose
deeds
He spreads himself upon the pages fine
OF his autobiography embellished with
Some sixty-seven pictures of Myself in
Action.
Last scene Of all
That ends this strange eventful histor,
In honored age, the calcium turned on.
he sports at public dinners, in the SEN
ate sits.
Controls the marts and if he will
give ~.
HOLDS highest sinecures. sans nothing
That a first or second childhood seeks.
That's the substance Of the substi-
tuition said the Idiot.
1T is sacrilege," cried the BibIio-
maniac, trembling With indignation.
We'll. you began it," said the Idiot.
i 2' roared the BibliOmaniac.
Yes, YOU" said the Idiot 4 asked
for the fried mush and you trotted out
your Shakespeare. I'm sorry if I've
hurt your feelings, but you brought 1t
on yourself. Shakespeare is not
suitable breakfast food, Mr.. Bib. and
when it comes to a choice between him
and Merry Jim. you'll find me for
Merry every time"
Copyright, 1sO4. by X. H. HoImes.)
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

An the worlds subway
And all the men and women merely
.r motormen.
They have their exits and their en-
frances
And one man in his turn wells many
stations,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16
Inside Information

(copyright, 1904, by k. H. Holmes.)
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-10-16

Copyright by S. S. Mcclure Co.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1904-05-29

love may be cruelty slain and pride may
bury the dead out of sight. hiding care
fully every sign OF its grave. but the
corpse Is there. and its presence can not
be forgotten.
when love leaves Us his handmaidens
often come in his stead. Affection. admi-
ration ana respect make a fair showing in
life. and wnere one is not overexacting
are sufficient to bestow much comfort and
pleasure upon those who entertain them
Affection viii burn cheerily and brightly
long after the brilliant fame OF love has
died out, and "'il keep Up steady glow
which TO all. save the few. viii be salts
flying Admiration is gratifying tribute.
which. properly offered. soothes seif-loys
and appeals 10 the vanity from which feW
meu and women are altogether free In
deed. so gratifying is il that Il Is fire.
quently mistaken for the tr1e and lnsf-
fable Of love. As for respect ard esteem.
even as they form the truest foundation
wherein TO erec; temple OF love. 80 also
are they the safest upon whcih to build
a home
There are many people wholly incsps-
bic OF a grand passion. They love others
after a fashion far removed from any
thing Ike an absorbing passion. Some
there are who love themselves too de-
v0Etly ever to. exalt another love above
give back moro or less in return for what
they receiv..-Ciacinns, Commercial TT!-
rss-a
The Wichita daily eagle., 1904-05-29

sions. With most people. fortunately for
themselves and for others. love, however.
true and steadfast. is excepting during
the trying period of doubt and anx-
iety as to its return, comparatively calm
and reasonable. Transports are out OF
fashion nowadays, romances and senti-
ment are at a heavy discount. ard open
manifestation OF strong feeling Of any
kind is considered bad form in good So
ciety. Love. when he appears In public.
is expected 10 show himself clothed and
in his right mind.
Poets and novilyists of the old school
were wont to aver and maintain that a
grand passion could be felt only in youth:
that as the first fruits are best, the first
blossoms OF plant fairest. so young love
is strongest and most vigorous.
Experience, on the contrary. goes 70
prove that youth has no monopoly OF ar
dent affection. = man may fall in and
out of q dozen fancies. imagining. per
hapS. that each one as Il comes is the
real thing. To find himself al last in the
real thing. 10 find himself az last in the
grasp Of feeling which dominates al his
being with a force which may be incom-
prehensible. but which is not 10 be re-
sisted Indeed for the majority OF men
and women the great love OF life comes
after more than one preliminary passage
at love-IEaiSing. II would seem only nat
ural that so strong q passion should de-
velop bcst IL maturity. when the heart
and mind have been enlarged BY expert
ence. and II the rnarSre love lack some
thing Of the undizcipIined seryroF Of one
salad DAYS" it will in ali likelihood. 70
deeper and last longer. even unto dsath.
As one or Castles heroes says rs
easily weIi 70 laugh at love and play a;
loye. bur when l0ve cones IL earnest il
takes a man. IS II were. by the throat
ard its ~ joke IL may last aud il may
not for love. Ike ali else or earth may
die. but such love as this comes only once
in any one's life We like sincerely. Ee
cherish. ~s are. perhaps. truly fond %
more thar che person bat the ligat ssgsch
!il1.rr1ines the Norl6 vfth is glory shines
fo- Rcne q us more than once And II.
while Il lasts. those - whorz 4 = voueh-
ssfed axe able TO kfn4ie therezsth Tie
ire OF eons-an, a1.ction oE the hearth %
lsoz,e kapplness folds her Wigs. ard
,hencefcrsA assaes content at that Gre
sase
A grand passion nnfzslinxsy eAves ia
srasiiczssc traces h1hfnd II He or ste
vho has once felt iEs power Is never again
[ he same as BEFORE The heart tina: has
truly Isved never forxets.'' however BIT
isriy = nAy object 70 yeznem6x<oce. Tbs
The Wichita daily eagle., 1904-05-29
SCOUTS ABILITY TO READ SIGNS.


Scott Grover. famous scout. who. Il
viii Be remembered. has beeu with Fer
sy;h. afterSard tosnea my command. 90
said Cssone. Ca-penfe-. dszcf.hlag Al ex-
pe.ieuce o. frontier warfare. ax related
0y Dr. Cyrus Townsend Ers1F. II his
story OF Carpenter ard H.s ~Bruasttes.
Il the Jare PezrS01'z He had mar
ried a Sioux woman ard had Ire sf0r
yszrS zth the I5S3isns before fhs osi-
;sresk q hos,siiSses- He coeld speak their
language z.s1 krew their wsys end css-
tons. and -zs perfectly trelE@zs II rad
lag siEnA Il zas irseres;iag 20 see hSw
u cossl1 7eas what ike tracks neau;. as
4 i hsa been book he ccGSs tel hsoz
ieaS snoe ;sse tracks weTs mad. wAesher
they ssers made - ha-s~z CT ponsss .zas9ss
or 'znshpt. how rsznv ~sTs rsc1e1. hox
E1aay we're driven. whettss :; ~z& = var
party er party changing csms. II ia
dlzzs stopped soy ire asghr hs e5zls
teg Eox many zen - sqEzxs -~re II
TIE -a-ty. ard 20 ~hzt sEsa@ they se-
Io.xr1. freq rbe xszpe o. rhefs rrocca-
sScx, zne uAay more cxtzs1s-"
The Wichita daily eagle., 1904-05-29
CAN YOU LOVE BUT ONCE?

It may he safely asserted that 30 one
whether man or woman. ever experiences
a grand passion more than onos - life
time Iudeed there are many. perhaps
the great majority az both sexes. who
never know what il Is To be really. des-
persteiy in love. to BE- carried away. l'fs-
I'd oas OF themselves. hy the fore %
= passion which IS ssronssr thar ANYTHING
else on earth. a power whioa fuses men
as heat does tron. changing their very
natures and transforming them
There are many varieties of love even
OF that which Is genuine, and all Of these
are scarcely to De clAssed as grand pas