The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-07-16

ing to tell a lie." said Gregg to Legg.
"HowT asked Legg. Il see you open
your mouth" said Cregg.-Town
Topics
Old Gentleman Ito small boy, who
Is nursing a skinned knee)--Did you
fall down. little chap? Small Boy
Yer didn't think | fell up and basheds
agin cloud did yer?
Barnes Tormer-I am in a auandary.
have been offered an engagement by
two managers. and | don't know how
TO act. Sue Brette-Well, don't worry
They'll soon find 1t out
And do you think" he asked, that
men progress after DEATH" Well"
she replied, III they don't. it would
almost seem useless for some OF them
to die."-Chicago Record.
Mother-Willie. what's Tommy cry
ing forT Willie-Only because he
doesn't want to learn anything. | just
took his sweets and showed him how
to eat them. and he screamed
Thomas. spell weather." said the
teacher. Thomas W--a-e-t-h-t-h-i-
ear. Teacher--You may sit down,
Thomas You've given us the worst
spell Of weather. we've had this year.
She-But II you say you can't bear
the girl why ever did you propose? He
Well, her people have always been
good to me and it's the only way 1
could return their hospitality.-Punch-
Miss Cutting-That dog of yours
seems to be remarkably intelligent.
could not begin to tell you all he
knows. Miss Cutting-No, of course
not.-New Yorker.
Bizzer-I regret to learn that your
son Reginald failed in his graduating
examination at Harvard. Buzzer--
Reggy could stand that If only his crew
had not been beaten in the boat race
Ohio State Journal.
Gentleman Ito man on horseback
Why, my man, how do you expect to
get that horse along with spur OH
one side only? Horseman-Well, sir.
n gets that ere side to go, amt the
other bound to keep up?
What a polite little boy you are
exclaimed Miss Anne Teek, land do
you always take off your hat like that
when you speak to ladiesT' Nom"
replied the polite little boy, "only old
ladies. "-Philadelphia Press.
IL think I'll take this bracelet" said
a lady whose husband had suddenly
amassed a fortune, Are you sure it's
made Of refined goldy "Oh yes" an
swered the jeweler. Because do
detest anything that isn't rehnedr' said
the lady.
The Uncle-Well, here's the money
you've been bothering me for. Now,
remember the old saying that "A fool
and his money are easily parted.
The Nephew don't know about
that I've had to coax you for more
than week for this.
II wonder why the groOmsman at u
wedding Ia called the best man.
queried the leap-year girl II suppose
rejoined the old bachelor, sit Is be-
cause he has shown his superior in
tellect in not posing as the victim In
the tragedy. Chicago News
She was city bred, and had the usual
fear of cows. why" she asked, when
the danger was past, did you take me
across this lotT' The small country
A.. q xxn,tlI ha
fun" he said. "t0 see you try to climb
tree" Then after another chuckle:
And it was."-Philadelphia Ledger.
Yes" said Mrs. Wordsworth; 1.-THE
family are most interesting. John
dances divinely, Tom sings like an an
gel. David is a famous footballer, SUI
same paints with great taste" And
Henryy' "Oh. Henry Well, he's
rather dull sort of fellow, you know.
He only works and supports the 9TH
ers"
John" said the bargain-hunting
half of the matrimonial trust as they
sat at the breakfast table, Il wish you
would let me have $50 this morning"
my dear" replied the meek and
lowiy husband, Il wish you would
break yourself Of the habit you have
Of dreaming that | married an heress."
-Tit-Bits.
Employer-You are having a decided
Irritation with the girl who has charge
of our telephone wire? Truthful Clerk
I,.,t+h ooId chills running nm and down
his spine, and with visions OF instant
sir; but please,
sir Employer-Well, keep II up.
She will give more attention to our
calls II you do.
The small boy was having his race