The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-10-09
COurtShip Made Too Easy
BY DOROTHY DIX.

3t46& III s1a8xx y -
realizing a dream. This of itself rem
ders them less attractive to men, since
it is the luXuries and not the neceSSl-
ties of life that allure us most, ana
that we are most anxious to get.
Perhaps the CHER reason that men
show a Discrimination to marry may be
accounted for by the freedom OF COM
panionship that prevails between the
sexes. I'm the olden time, when ;he
only way a man could enjoy woman s
society was by marrying her, he was
n a rush to hustle With her TO the
lltar, but when custom permits man
% mOnopOliZe woman evenings,
When they may spend long days to-
sether on the golf links, when they
nay attend theaters and parties to-
either and even enjoy the pleasure or
| little meal for two in Il perfectly
proper restaurant, the man is in no
hurry to we'd. He has, in reality as
much of the woman's company as he
wants without the necessity of assunl-
ng her bills, or giving her the right
O lecture him..
The long engagement is a modern
invention of mans, not woman s. and
is a handicap that our grandmam-
mas never knew. Nothing that the
lew status of woman mas brought to
a platonic Friendship with man, but
e get nothing in this world without
aging for it, and the price that
vomen pay for comradeship with men
often spinsterhood When it was a
ase of either lover or nothing it was
generally lover.
Another reason why men are less
ager about marrying now than they
sed to be is because the modern
eminne Barkis is too willing. Many
Emgs change but human nature
ever changes, and the primitive in
tnCt of man is for the chase. The
arder q thing is to get the more he
ants it The more inaccessible a
ming is, the more anxious he is to
NIB after it, the more danger there
in seeking a Thing. the more sure
is to dare It. Women have forgot
en- this masculine popularity, and in
lead of permitting themselves TO be
ursued the have tured around and
ave become the pursuers, with the
levitable result that men have lost
terest in the chase and dropped out
{ it.
Probably our grandmothers were
lst as anxious TO get married as any
5irl is now, but they had the gump-
ton to affect a coy and reluctant atti-
tude, and because Il man believed that
it was a difficult task to capture the
citadel of q maiden's affections. he
Wooed her with fire and passion and
all the energy of which he was ca
pable. Because she appeared indif5er-
ent to his visits, he kept the path to
her door hot With his footsteps Be
cause the most that he hoped to win
from her hand in the shape OF a letter
was line or two IF discreet, copy
book, maidenly reply, 20 his numerous
missives, he weighted. down the mails
with burning billet doux. How is it
now? The modern girl has left him
in no doubt as to the state of her af-
fcctions, and so he takes no trouble in
wooing her. She'll say Eyes. and
thank you, too" whenever he asks
her. and any old love-making will do.
If he doesn't come to see her, she
calls him up by telephone, and so he
gees when there is no more exciting
amusement and prospect. AS for let
terS, she'll write anyway, so what's the
use in bothering to keep up his end
Of the correspondence It's the old
story of the overrjpe peach no one
wants to gather.
Our grandmammas also had anoth-
er advantage that their granddaugh-
ters lack-our great grandmammas
understood the value of the unattain-
able. They didn't throw their daugh-
ters at eligible young mems heads.
They built fences around them. When
2 young man came a-WoOing the entire
family didn't take to the back yard
SO as to give him a chance. The
stern parents stood guard over girl,
and put him 10 his wits end to steal
a moments converse with her, or press
her hand in secret. Sometimes the
Willy father even went to the extent of
locking the girl up in her room to
keep her from Il sutton and then the
man, who very likely couldn't have
been driven in at the front door, was
ready to break his neck climbing up
to her window to steal her
In word, they made courtship
romantic and difficult, and in conse-
Cuenco there We're many Opponents
ard few old maids. Without doubt
it is parents palpable anxiety to mar
~ off their daughters nowadays that
scares so many men of, for while a
man may be thrilled at the prospect
CT being pursued by an irate father
with horse pistols to Gretna Green. it
ives him the cold shudders to feel
hat he is being taken in in a conf
'ence game.
The moral of all Of which is that in
fairs of the heart, women don't know
much as their grandmammas did,
.fter all.