The Washington times., 1904-12-12
CCoulinuei from First Page)

I thought there was such a letter al she
/ mentioned. He re-en4orced this remark
/ by comprehensive glance at the thou
SANDS OF general delivery letters arOund
him
lis there a special letter with such
I an address, continued the fair ques-
! uoner looking keen-eyed, and striking
/ an attitude resembling that Of Napoleon
/ when about to conquer the world
The Clerk Got Angry.
At this the clerk got angry and asked
what letter the applicant wished.
There followed a pause. In which the
! eyes OF the fair one looked keener than
| ever and the locks of the kittenish head
brandished themselves in wilder abandon
than ever before. Then. all tile wisdom
/ OF The ancients was let loose.
Il want letter addressed 10 Mr..
Al spades TIE assertion was made
/ IN the crisp, sharp tones that. after ali,
'i IN ilidlcdllV5 or the forty year age.
clerk, and then gave way TO The FIRST
rear amusement he had felt In the past
/ TWO hours
The Socrates went her way in the
( tracks of the disappointed hundreds who
/ had gone before
Ihus the procession kept up. People
| OF all ages and conditions asked for IN,
I mysterious letter The Watchmen were
.
Washington postOnice one that will long
+ De remembered by the general delivery
/ clerks as a heart-breazer IN the matter
/ OF answrihg questions.
Lost Their Tempers.
/ Probably 70 per cent OF the people
making life miserable for the general
delivery clerk We're members of the
gentler sex. Invariably, when told
either that there was no such mail or
| that no mail could be delivered, they
/ lost their tempers
/ I'D like TO know why ii can't be de.
| llvered." was the next question, and the
I clerk would answer them in their own
/ language with because" This was not
! satisfactory. and at o'clock this morn
/ ing, a band OF fully forty determined
/ women marched TO the Office OF Major
| Bell, superintendent of general delivery,
| determined TO know just exactly why
/ they couldn't get that letter
/ Ladies, said the major softly.
you are ineligible The letter Is ad-
| dressed To Mr.. Asa Spades. The pre-
/ fix bars YOU" Major Bell survived the
i'Valanche Of criticism and rebukes that
/ straightway fell on his uncneding head.
I but he declares that he viii never again
I be the same man.
Says He Is Asa Spades.
( One young man Insisted that all mail
addressed 10 Asa Spades be delivered to-
/ him Immediately
That's my name" said ne. Therefore
/ all those letters belongs 10 me, and
I certainly am going TO do my best 10 get
them" The young man was referred TO
Major Bell. who questioned him. and
decided that Asa Spades" was merely
/ a nom de plume"
/ The general delivery clerks say that
Of all the hundreds who called for the
I Black Arrow mail. not one gave the ap-
pearance OF being in actual need OF the
money 1T was the best dressed crowd
| 1 ever saw" said one OF the clerks
Mr.. Johnson's Clever Ruse
/ The envelope was finally secured BY
William c. Johnson. a clerk in the
/ Southern Railroad and the son OF IA
well-known hotel keeper. He is s25
richer simply as the result OF an ingen-
uous plan worked out by him early sun
/ day morning. So clever was his scheme
that it was not even necessary for him
/ TO walk 10 the pOstOfice after the en-
VelOpe. a special carrier. appointed By
Major Bell carried 10 Mr.. Johnson every
Z letter In the pOsJOftiCe addressed 10 Asa
Spades. II was necessary only 10 open
the envelopes until the order was found.
and then walk 10 The Times Otfice after
the money.
/ II was the intention Of The Times that
f the envelope should be delivered through
3 the general delivery after midnight, but
the pOstOffice decided to the contrary.
Mr. Johnson is Il constant reader of The
Times, and had the charade solved
while many WashingtOnlans We're still
eating breakfast lie Immediately went
I 10 the postOfilce and asked for mail 70
/ Asa Spades and. OF course. WAS told
I that no such mail had been received.
/ Returning 10 ms home he thought the
matter over. and finally wrote the fol-
| lowing note.
Postmaster:
Dear Sir: Please forward any mail
addressed 10 Asa Spades TO the Hotel
Johnson and oblige. ASA SPADES"
He filed his letter at the general de-
/ livery window. and as q result, today
cashed an order on The Times for So.
Postofiice Rules Supreme.
Scores Of similar applications We're re-
ceived from every section of the city,
but his was the first. Major Bell de-
bated the question thoroughly before de-
Gliding on Mr.. Johnson as the proper
recipient of the mail, but decided that
postoffice regulations should have prior
consideration over the wishes of The
Times.
According 10 the idea OF The Times
the letter should have been personally
delivered 10 the first person asking for
mail 20 Asa Spades. Major Bell stated
that had he been at the window, the
envelope would have been delivered To
the first person asking for il after its
arrival at a. M.
The night clerk. however. held back
the mail claiming that the name was
fictitious. and hence the matter would
have to be- placed before Major Bell
/ The. Times left the settlement entirely
{ with the latter. who after careful con-
Il .r.r .Hr.FFH a..
regulations demanded that the letter be
/ forwarded 10 Mr. Johnson.
Opening the Letters.
Il thought Id get it, were Johns0n's
( first words on receiving the bundle of
mail addressed tc Asa His next ejacu-