The sun., 1904-12-20
LIVE rOPIos ABOUT TOWN.

Brooklyn is 10 have Sunday matiness.
1 A few theatres In Manhattan have ex-
tended ths Sunday concert idaa enough
l TO include an afternoon performance but
the innovation won't cross the East hiyei
playhouse announces that Christtnas
matinee will be given and continued on
Subsequent Sundays. The City Of Churches
may need remaining coon.
Hs was little bit Of y man. and o. he
stood before the Magistrate his chin bar ely
reached the level Of the bridge railing.
y wasn't doing nothing he said.
Doing nothing1' replied the Magistrate.
sWhy, the officer says it took three Of the
reserves to get you to the station:
'That's nothing. your Honor was ths
answer. 1t usually takes seven OF EN-.
A turtle race Is the latest In Brooklyn
club. The members procure five turtles
and paste numbers on their backs. They
are put In the centre Of a twelve foot ring
ohalked out on the floor, and the turtle first
| TO crawl out Of the ring Ia declared the
winner. The numbers bet on their favorite
turtle.
You wouldn't think that covered the
price Of bringing them here,' said the
young wife. glsnolng proudly at the pile
Of rugs she had just purchased at auction,
'all the way from Turkey and Persia, yet
so cheap
The oold-blooded expert stared at the
TT did not cost much to transport them,
he observed only the cost Of q trip scross
unf hs f' Island ThsE "sTs TSeae s A6S g. S:ss
turns out thousands Of them every year.
1t seems that many Persian and Turkish
rugs have this origin.
Invest Ninetieth street new mud bath
was opened last Thursday. When the
barrels Of a special brand OF mud consigned
to the proprietor from southern Italy fell
into the hands Of customs inspectors his
troubles began.
What is it1' asked the inspectors. tapping
the barrel.
.Fangs.' said the mud man.
Whats fang p inquired the inspectors.
Mud replied the proud proprietor.
And you're importing seventeen bar
rolls Of mud2'
am
whats the matter with New York mud1'
II isn't medicinal
.Oh. New York mud isn't medicinal
The inspectors fell to and burrowed.
They burrowed clear through to the bottom
OF three barrels: Then they rested and! and
or lace hidden in the strange importation,
the next problem that presented itself
was how much to assess Italian mud. After
racking their brains for several weeks they
assessed the mud at dollar barrel.
So, If there are a million barrels Of mud
In square mile, 1t would cost $204 o92 900 900
to import France.
A benevolent looking old man with
long white beard and twinkling eyes
boarded an uptown elevated train at Frank
lin street and made his way to q vacant seat
near the middle Of the car. little girl OF
three who was In the care of her mother.
and big sister Of seven, solemnly nodded
as the venerable passenger approached.
How do, Mister Sanity CLAUSE said the
little girl.
The man gravely bowed and replied,
Pretty well. thank you. little girl, and how
are your
"Tm dood.' she answered with smile.
Santa's double sank into his seat.
We'll. we'll we'll. this certainly Is good
he remarked to his companion. aShe thinks
! am a real Old Nick bless her little heart"
Then turning to the child he said:
Il won't forget you. little one. I'll be
around TO see you, never fear
Then he did what the child thought was
his sides shook and tears rolled down his
ruddy old cheeks. And all the other big
folks laughed too.
West Fourteenth street harbors a large
Cuban colony. Some Of its members are
new to this climate and the recent snow
storms were the first they had ever seen.
One small Cuban lives in a room just
over the parlor Of boarding house. When
the landlady came into her parlor the morn
ing after the first snow she was Mortified
to see her ceiling streaked and spotted
and the. plaster dropping in chunks. In
on the floor above. which was as much OF
surprise to the Cuban OCCUPANT Of the
room as 1t was to the landlady. She de-
manded an explanation.
we have no snow in Cuba, said the
seen it, and I gathered great big bali Of
it to send him by express. put It on the
floor over night. and now look!"
Yes replied the landlady, now you
60 down in the parlor and look"
A new cause for nervous prostration
has been discovered. A young man who
recently had to give up his place because
OF his extreme nervousness went to see the
oculist to be examined for glasses.
Young man." said the latter, after he
had finished his tests, "the entire cause
OF your nervousness Is in your eyes. One
OF them is ten times as strong as the other,
and that is what causes you to peer at
people in that lopdded manner. You are
practically around the corner from yourself
all the time"
1t is remarkable how many window
starers at the big retail stores only reach
the buying point when the doors are locked
against them. Until after the holidays
nearly all Of the stores remain open In the
evenings, and, Just as the gongs announce
the closing hour a vigorous stand has to
be made against the thrush Of proorasti-
mating buyers and shoppers. A polite
refusal is seldom sufficient and the only
effective way Is to bar the doors. Even
then the customers within. as they COM
plete their business, have to be mustered
into little groups by the doormen and passed
out together, to stall OF the attempts Of
the belated ones to slip In.
$500