davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
ENTER THE DELEGATION!

gasped Mr.. Bowser as his face turned
almost purple and his eyes hung out.
Certainly I do. Do you remember
in what condition you came home the
last night you were out?"
"Woman, no man on the face of this
earth would dare talk to me Is you
do! 1t is true that the people called
upon me last year to lead them, and it
is true that-that'-
THAT you did not lead them"
THAT 1 was ready to, but for the
sake of harmony in the party l drew
back and decided to wait till another
campaign. How dare you assert that
1 was made q guy of! How dare you
assert that l was dropped with a
thudr'
cit may have been a crash instead of
4 thud," she answered, but you sud-
denly went out CT politics"
Il deny it woman-I deny il"
And when you came home that
night your hat was broken. your coat
torn NJ the hack and somebody had
skinned your nose. Added to this,
you caiicd yourself Mr. Bowsher and
wanted 10 20 to he'd on the doorstep"
"And she is talking that way 10 me
to ner" whispered SIR. Bowser to
himself as he sat and stared 1T ker.
And tle dear people Eate become
thirsty for beer again and are calling
4en you to rise once morel" she con
-finued after a moment. @Just give EN-
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
Sons of

John D.. CrimminS, during his tour OF
italy, did not neglect to visit the Flor
entine villa of Mark Twain, says an
exchange. Mark Twain welcomed Mr.
Crimmins and told him an amazing
story.
Lying" he said, sis a noble accom-
plishment. and it should be encouraged
When we hear a good lie we should
repeat it. giving to the liar the praise
that is his Tue
There is a good a in Florence
His name is Pietro. TO incite PietrC
to one Of his loftier flights I said to
him the other day:
Ibid you ever hear, Pietro, OF the
fish that lived on frost?'
mo said he
"'Well, this fish, I explained. 'haunts
the Maine coasts. 1t zones ashore ev:
cry morning before the sun has melted
the frost, and from N rocks and tree
trunks and grass blades it scrapes
with its blunt teeth enough of this
cold food to last it for the day. II
can never be caught in the water, fol
the reason that it will not rise to bait
Sometimes, though, men catch it ashore
with their hands. It's flesh is consider.
ed a delicacy and brings $3.50 q pound.
"Peitro sneered.
Now, I will tell you,' he said, 'abou,
my uncle's mule. My uncle kept this
mule in a wooden stable and he fed
it on popcorn. One day the sable took
stall. shooting up into the air, descend
ed all about the unfortunate animal in
soft, white flakes. These fakes the
mule mistook for snow. He imagined
that he was in a snowstorm and froze
to DEATH"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
Campaigning in Missouri.

Two candidates for office in Missouri
were stumping the northern part OF
the state. and in n town their ap-
pearance was almost simultaneous
says Golfers Weekly. The candidate
last arriving happened to stop at 8
house for the purpose Of getting a
drink of water. To the little girl who
answered his knock at the door he
said. when she had given him the de
sired draught and he had offered hel
in recompense some candy: Did the
man ahead Of me give you anything?'
ooh, yes. sir" replied the bright
girl, The gave me candy"
"Ah!" exclaimed the candidate
Here's five cents for you / don
suppose he gave you any money!"
The youngster laughed merrily. Yes
he did. too! He gave me ten cents!
Not to be outdone. the candidate
gave the little one another nickel, and
picking her UP in his arms. kissed her
Did he kiss you, too?' he asked
geniallv.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13

to understand that there is nothing
but cold water ahead of them and see
how soon they'll stop calling"
She's talking to me-to mew he ex-
claimed as he struck himself on the leg
to see IL he had turned to stone.
You speak about your political the
cries and about their being ahead of
the people. You haven't got any, and
il you had a thousand the people
wouldn't want them. You don't care
shucks about voting, and no one has
ever heard you talk politics for five
minutes. Don't let them make a guy
Of you again. Mr. Bowser."
"a guy Of me-" he repeated as he
rose up in all his majesty. woman,
bewarei One more insult will drive
me to the dead line. This may not
technically be called your fifteenth at
tempt to assassinate me n my own
house, but all the m~alevolence and
malignity are there just the same. I
came home here expecting a delega-
ton from the Union Preserving and
Reformation club to wait upon me at
half past Z o'clock and tender me the
nomination of alderman of this ward,
and yOu-yOu malign my theories, in
suit my principles and seek to cover
my character as a patriot with igno-
miny. By Joseph, but 1 won't stand it
I won't stand it!'
about your pet theories" said Mrs.
BowSer as he stamped to n fro.
''Please let me hear what they are?'
"Not one word" he sternly replied.
"Have you been looking forward,
looking backward or looking seven
ways for Sunday?"
"Umr'
Sand SO the people want a leader
and are calling? Who are they, Mr..
Bowser? Please name five or six of the
most PROMINENT"
mot q name, woman-not a name!
It is close to the hour when I ex-
pect the delegation, and perhaps you
will do me the favor to withdraw to
your room. Let me say to you in the
same breath that this subject need
never be opened between us again"
THAT means you are going into poll
tics again."
81 shall lead the people, madam"
"To what-to WHAT She wanted to
ask to what saloon, but she faltered
W. it, and he said:
81 shall lead them to victory through
higher and nobler paths, and the day
will come when you
But a ring at the bell cut him short.
and while he went to open the door in
person Mrs. Bowser skipped upstairs.
Enter the delegation-very shiny silk
hats, very shiny noses, very mellow
condition. They numbered three. and
all three threw themselves upon Mr..
Bowser at onc and respectively cried
out:
"Ah, old man."
"It's old Bowser himself!!"
"Shake, old pard!"
Mr.. Bowser didn't like it a bit, but by
a great effort he worked up a floor
walker smile and rubbed his hands and
said it vas a fine evening.
you bet." answered the chairman of
the delegation as he gave him a slap on
the back. "Say, Bowser, you sly old
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13

Daniel J. Sully, ON the day of his adj
mission to the Chicago Board Of Trade.
lunched at the Chicago Club. says an
exchange. He wore a new derby hat.
for he had been pretty severely mauled
by the bankers and his old hat had
been altogether ruined.
You are not wearing the same hat
you had On this morning, sir" a re-
porter said to Mr.. Sully with a smile
NO" the hToker admitted, and he
went on:
Now. I'll tell you an appropriate
and timely story-a story about a hat
and about Easter.
Two women shook hands warmly
after church on Easter Sunday morn
ing and while they ~conversed they ex-
amined each others apparel with their
bright eyes.
How becoming your Easter hat is.
said the first woman
"Oh. 60 you think sog said the
other.
'Ye indeed. 1t looks almost as
well as il did last year."
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
A Dear Old Story Rcsold.

Representative Maddox, OF Georgia.
has a son who recently graduated
from law school. and has hung out
hts shingle in Rome, says the Wash
angton Post A few days ago the son
visited Washington and had a long
talk with his father about the Law
business.
"Oh. yes, father" he said, as the
conference neared an end. I've set
tied that Blank va. Blank suit which
you've had dragging on for the pas,
twenty years"
Judge Maddox almost jumped from
the chair.
Great Scott boy" he exclaimed,
you don't mea that you've gone and
settled that ase Why, I turned that
over to you as a life annuity"
Judge Maddox has announced that
he will retire from Congress at the
end of his present term. And
reckon" he said, in relating the in
cident. that it's a good thing. Ny
o needs initiation into the practice
Of law"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
MI. LangIey's Luck.

Michael Servetus Langley a beer
playing the for weeks. but in
stead of following his own judgment
he had trusted to the touts and the
sporting columns, with the result tina,
he had lost the most OF his wad, say
n Chicago Tribune.
While looking over the printed list
of horses entered for a certain race
one day an idea occurred to him..
He cut the list out of the paper
folded it several times. and stuck a
pin through it.
Then he unfolded 1t and observed
that the pin had gone through the
names Of several Of the horses.
Those are h ones I'll bet on
he said.
He did SO.
Every of those horses lost.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
dog. we + going to elect you b.
clean 1000 majority"

dog, we are going to elect you b. IL
clean 1000 majority"
"Clean 2,00O."
"Clean 1900"
"Well, 1 am in the hands of the peo-
ple," sententiously replied Mr.. Bowser.
IF called upon to lead them to v~ictor.r
FL do my best"
"Of course you will. old man."
"Of course"
"Of course"
II suppose we ought to get to work
and plan the campaign?"
Yes. Put on your hat and over
coat, and wen go over and heave in
three beers apiece first. Beer and
Bowser-hurrahr'
Gentlemen. there will be no beer"
"What! No beer?' shouted the three
in chorus.
Not a Drop"
"Then. no beer no Bowser. Say. You
are an old stiff. you are. You couldn't
run for chimney sweep"
"Outr.' said Mr.. Bowser as he point
ed to the door.
"Yar'
"Yar'
Var
And when he closed the door anl
turned around Mrs. Bowser sweetiy
inquired over tie banister:
"Was that you coming i'm or tie
campaign going out. Mr.. Bowse-:"
N. GRAD.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
An Unusual Question.

Mrs Leslie NJ Shaw. with her
daughters, Miss Ema and Miss Enid
visited San Francisco las month. and
many social functions were given
there in honor of the Secretary of the
Treasury's family, says the New Or
leans State.
At a tea one afternoon. Mrs. Shaw,
smiling toward her daughters, said:
When Enid was 4 or 5 years old
she used to repeat at night the little
prayer. Now I lay me-.
II suppose that millions of. children
have said Now / lay me- millions OF
times. but I doubt If the simple and
charming words of the prayer ever
suggested a question so unusual as
they did to Enid.
"She one night repeated the prayer
reverently and then askd me. with a
puzzled frown:
Mother. If I should die before ]
wake. how would 1 know I was
dead?'"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
JEWISH
Plans for the establishments OF q
Great One Discussed.

New York. May s.-P1ans for the
establishment of a great Jewish Uni
versity In this country were discussed
at a meeting held here tonight, UNI
Ter the auspices of the New York
branch of the Jewish Theological
Seminary. II is also the purpose OF
those IN charge OF h movement to
open high schools In this city and I'm
other cities. Among those who spoke
were DIR. Cyrus Adler and Prof. sol
ONION Schechter.
w wish To train rabbis and teach
ers," DR.. Adler said. land to create
a spirit for the promotion OF Jewish
literature throughout the land We
want to take our stand with the great
institutions of learning. and establish
a university that will compare with
Harvard. Yale or Johns Hopkins
University. This seems to US the
right way Of promoting Jewish learn
Ing and the spread OF the Jewish ren-
gion in h United SfatesF
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13

A Later Search For, h Mfscreant Was
of No Avaii-PrimarfeS Ordered.
Especial to The Messenger.)

Especial 10 Inc messenger
Goldsboro, n. c., May 9.-When
about two miles this side OF Kinsson
arrived here at $50 O'Clock had a
window pane shattered by a piece OF
green pine wood, which was thrown
by some one in h dark. A lady.
who was sitting next to the window,
was terribly frightened by the glass.
which was shattered all over her. but
she was very fortunately not injured
in the least. President Bryan. OF
the A. and N. c., was on the train,
and on it's arrival mere ne sent Tor
Sheriff Stevens and requested the
loan OF the county blood hounds. The
sheriff and Constable Henry Crazy
made ready to tax the dogs and go
on a special train to the place where
the missile was thrown. The special
left here about II o'clock. having on
board besides the sherifr n the con-
stable, quite a number of people. who
were anxious to help arrest n cui-
prit who threw the missile.
the train arrived al the scene the
party with lanterns began TO search
the locality for footprints. A piece
Of pine sapling was found which con
tanned a number OF small particles OF
glass The special train went on TO
KinstoTI to get Sheriff Wooten, and
when they arrived back at the spot
a further search was made and fres-
tracks were found about forty feet
from the track The dogs were put
on the trail and ran for about five
miles without accomplishing any
thing The searching party returned
II IN fhfc offr ~ tho -.4ns1 4-4tr 4.-fr
this morning.
AT a meeting Of the Democratic ex.
ecutive committee of Wayne county
| held in this city on Saturday after.
moor. it was ordered that the primar.
les OF h different townships be held
at 3 o'clock In the afternoon Of Sat.
urday- the 2Sth OF May, except Colds
boro township. which viii be held or
Friday night OF May nth at Sat
O'Clock The county convention vii
he held on Saturday OF June 4th a
| IL o'clock In Gold6boro.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
School Children Who Oannot Spell.

The current charge that the spelling
OF public school children is atrocious
receives the strongest sort Of confrma-
ton from the refusal of the high school
principals to alloy their pupils to take
part in a series of spelling matches for
prizes, which the Eagle offered in order
to stimulate interest in this fundamen-
tai Of a common school education.
The sun of the matter is just this,
the public school children cannot spell.
The principals Of the high schools know
that they cannot spell, as does every
BODY else who has occasion to receive
petitions were held this most trouble
some fact of the school situation to
those on thesinside might be revealed to
the great body Of parents and taxpay-
ers. Then there might arise such a
u and cry for common sense and the
fundamentals Of education as would
annoy the authorities who now make
cours Of study. which Sights spelling
for general information about every
body from Confucius and Buddha
dow to Admiral Togo. II the school
should once begin to take time enough
for fundamentals, OF which spelling is
easily first. there is no telling how
many fads and frills would have to be
cut out to find the time for essentials.
Therefore. the chool system emulates
he ostrich by hiding its head in the
sand, in the vain hope that the bad
spelling Of its pupils will not attract
too much attention so long as they do
not permit the children to stand up and
demonstrate their incompetence. 1t is
a silly game, and there would be little
chance for it's success in any case But
this town is too full Of employers and
parents who have been shocked by the
shortcomings OF school children in this
matter to make such a refuge available.
Brooklyn Eagle
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13
BOWSer tie Politician
He Is Called Upon by the People to Lead Them to Victory.
but When They Make a Strong Demand For
Beer He Has II Out With Them.

Copyright, 1904. by C. e. Lewis.1
~HERE was such a self impor-
tant bearing about MI. Bow
ser when he entered his house
the other evening that Mrs.
Bowser noticed it al once and wonder
ed whether he had finally hit a ten
dollar prize in a lottery. He carried
himself erect, looked down upon her
in a ~patroniZing way. and she was
kept on the ragged edge a full half
hour before he condescended to x
plain:
mo, my dear woman. ! have not
been investing in lottery tickets. 1t
is simply that the political theories /
have always held are soon to bear po-
liticai fruit"
81 didn't know you ever held any"
she somewhat bluntly replied.
perhaps not. 1t is not necessary
for a husband TO sit down and tell his
wife everything. Nevertheless, l have
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13

Now is the time to sell your battle
ships> before next years fashions arr
announced.-Atlanta Constitution.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-13

Beam u. 1s Mad yoa Han Aissrs Bssss
a's. = &HHNzM

suny denies that he Is i~nsoiveut- No
man with SuIly's nerve asset 10 tnsol-
yent-Atlanta Constitution.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-04-10
THE NATIONAL GUARD

infantry, recently removed from the
city and took his discharge. Corporal
z. H. Singleton was promoted to the
vacancy.
Maj. Frank B. Rowley recently Wis
tied with his Red Wing company, G,
and reports it in excellent condition
with Seventy-seVen men enlisted and
ten or twelve on the waiting list. Capt.
Pierce has been doing himself proud
to get the company in line, and re
Gently discharged fifteen or twenty of
the men known as dead timber" and
now has fine company of enthusiastic
young men, who are all putting their
shoulder to the wheel and pushing.
Maj. A. G. Chase, Second regiment.
Farlbault, visited in the city during
the past week.
Armorer G. H. Wiley has been con-
fined to his room at the Windsor hotel
for the past week, suffering from an
acute attack of the grip. Sergeant p.
II. Singleton, Company E, Third in
fantry, is attending to the armorer's
duties at the armory.
Company G., First infantry, had
planned for an outdoor drill last Mon
day evening, but was prevented. ow-
ing to the rain. The outdoor drill, soon
to be resumed by all the companies.
will take place in the vicinity Of the
postOffice square,
The detail for signal work in the
company of engineers is as follows:
Lieutenant, Thomas J. O'Leary; SER
geant, Arthur Mampel; corporal. Alex
Brisnaham; privates, H P. Nacht-
sheim, Andrew Anderson, H. J. d. Kill
leen, Ira j. Tucker, A. L. Drecher, H. N.
Lathrop, Clifford Menu. This detail is
composed of telegraph operators and
electricians, and are preparing them
serves for field work and will be ready
for work by next camp.
Inc engineer company also has a
detalI under instruction Of Sergeant
Edward F. Mullaney, in rope exercise,
spllclng, Iashing and knotting. This
detail is: Corporal, Gus f. WeSer:
prlvates, John LittlefeId, Otto P. BIey.
George {. Horsnell, J. F. Houlihan. J.
Z. Hug, Pat J. ONeilI, j. E. McNalIey.
+ Musician Orvey Shippey, Battery A,
won the medal offered to the man
bringing In the most recruits, having
brought IN sixteen new members. The
battery is now up almost to the limit
OF membership, in spite Of the many
discharges, and Maj. Lambert is great
ly pleased.
Adjt. Gen. Allen Jumel, Louisiana.
has issued his annual report for 1903.
which shows a total membership of l.
955 IN the militia. The annual ap-
preparation by the state is $500, and
Gen. Jumel thinks this should be in
creased to at least $780,
AdJt. Gen. Greene, of Michigan, is
not in sympathy with the army ma
neuvers which bring the regular army
and militia in contact with each other.
he says that programme suitable
TO the regular army lis in many in
stances entirely foreign to the needs of
the militia. Michigan sent one regi-
ment to the late maneuversI# at West
Point, KY, and the results We're most
unsatisfactory.
The First regiment, Missouri Nation
al guard, is without a colonel or anv
field officers, all of which, and eleven
line officers recently resigned in an at
tempt to disband the organization The
survivors got together and will re-
organize the regiment
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-04-10

LEGISLATION asked for by the
- last interstate national guard
convention is receiving scant recogni-
ton by the legislators at Washington,
and there is little chance of much be-
ing done at this session. Gen. Charles
Dick, who is president of the associa-
ton, was absent from the last meeting
owing to pressure of congressional af-
fairs, and since then fortune has so
favored him that he has been chosen to
a seat in the senate from Ohio, sue
ceeding the late Senator Hanna. IN
rest is already apparent in national
guard circles over the lack of interest
displayed by the head officers of the
association in needed legislation, and
apparently there is no excuse for the
neglect. The executive committee,
which should have been appointed at
the meeting, has not yet been an
nounced. This is an important COM
mittee for on it devoIves the bulk of
the labor.
Gen. Dick has at times been careless
IN his interests of the national guard,
and two years ago he so far neglected
the instructions received from that
body mat it was necessary for inlivid-
ual members to carry on a campaign
to defeat certain parts of the famous
Dick bill, which he caused to be in
serted after they had been defeated in
the convention. The opposition, which
was headed by the executive board Of
the Minnesota National guard. was
successful and secured all the amend
ments desired, and more, too.
1t is generally regretted that the
natter has been allowed to rest, as
there We're several important items that
need action as soon as possible, prOmi-
nent among which is the extension Of
use of penalty envelopes to officers Of
the national guard.
The field, staff and non commits
stoned staff Of the artillery battalion
will be inspected by Maj. GerIach on
Friday evening, April %, in the Off
GERS room at the armory.
Adjt. Gen. Libbey has spent much
time lately with Maj Gerlach on his
tour of inspection. This is establish
ing a precedent which if carried out
in the future may result in great good
to the national guard Of the state. It
takes the adjutant general to the home
station of the company, where he has
an opportunity for observing it's work
and also its surroundings. He becomes
acquainted with the business men and
friends Of the company, and in many
cases it may result in providing bet
ter support for the companies. He is
also placed in a position SO that if any
trouble comes up which might termi-
nate in muster out, he knows pretty
well just where the fault lies and
whether it would be best to disband
the company.
Prominence was given during the
past week to a telegram received from
Washington to the effect that the gov
eminent had granted use of the Fort
Smelling rifle range to the national
guard. 1t transpires that the Smelling
range will not be ready for use this
year, and that Adjt. Gen. Libbey has
already granted the use of the Lake
City range to the regulars for this
seasons rife practice
Sergeant T. O. Joy, Company E, Third
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-04-10
Jes' Grin and Bo' 1t.

Michigan officer in the Spanish
war had negro attendant whose ideas
of military discipline were strict. Ow-
ing especially to the thieving proclivi-
ties Of some Of the Cuban hangers on,
he was under strict command not to
let anything go from the officers quar-
tiers without personal order from
him.
One evening, as the officer and Gen.
Wheeler met some distance from the
camp, the general said, with a smack
of his lips:
Il hear, sir, that you received some
very fine branded peaches from home"
Yes, general; they're prime and I'm
going to send you some. Meantime you
had better stop at my tent on the way
in and have my man give you can"
When the officer reached his quar-
ters he was approached by his attend
ant with an elaborate salute, who said:
Did you tell dat Gen'l Wheelah, sab,
dat he could call heah, sab, and procu
a can oh dem branded peaches, sab? %
Yes; Of course, you gave them to
him?"
mo, sab; 1 knows my duties, sab. /
done tole Genl Wheelah dat all men
look alike to me, sab, an if he didn't
hab no ordah he couldn't hab no
peaches, sab, less he Obacome me by
pOwah of supeiah numbers, sah."
why, you black rascal what did he
say?"
HE jes' grin and boz it, sah."-Phila-
delphia Public Ledger.
Some Big Flyers.