Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-16
O What 0 Bears Will Do
Uncle Jase Settles the Question With q Tale of Uncle Spitzer.

settin' that he almost knocked Uncle Jase out O the three-leggsd cheer where :, he sot, and he says, sort O as ii he was I mad, and sort O as If he was goin' to l take Uncle Jase by the neck:
 "Tve always believed they'd do 1t, says he, and I've always stuck to it and argyf1ed the strongest kind that they d do it. says he, but see now that they won't, and take it all back!' says he.
 T had always stood up ag'in Ellis Sam sayin' that they would do 1t, cause | thought knowed 'em bout as we'll as l the next feller, havin' trapped 'em and ] shot lem and had rough and tumbles | with 'em, up hill and down dale, helter l skelter through the scrub, and ker- | sploshity-splosh knee deep across the swamps, fer more than 40 year, and l they hadn't never done 1t to me, and l l never knowed O their doin it to any, one else, so I always stood up ag'in Elt's | Sam on his pint that they would do it., but he stuck to 1t like a woodtick to I a yaller coon dog. And he was doin' l of it this time, over to the Eddy, settin' ! on the shoebox and layin' of his argy- l fyin' down fer sartin
 I der they'll do 1t! Every time they git the chance. Bears don't like nothin' better than to chaw a man fer dinner. bears don't says he. Do it?' says he. 'O' course they'll do it!'
 "'Pishp says l. Bears won't do it! Bears won't eat man no more than will!' says I. | srYy1-1 Tn We'll says he. takin' somethin' outen his pocket and holdin' 1t up betwixt his fingers. Here's somethin' that says they will, Danl,' says he. 'Tain't nothin' but & button--a shiny brass button but it's primy fishy evidence that they'll do 1t, says he.
 Ellis Sam he frightened up and looked at me as if he was sorry fer me, and he says:
 "'Aha!' says he. How did you come to git it. Uncle laser says he.
 "'That button, says Uncle Jase, was on the sojer coat O my old pap's Uncle Spitzer when he come over here with the Britishers to fight ag'in us fellers time O the revolution. Uncle Spitzer was always sorry he fit on t'other side, and he said he'd never a done 1t If he'd only had an inklin' O what nice folks we was over here, and so when he came LID after the war and settled in the Knob country folks took sech likin' to him that they never said nothin' ag'in his | wearin' that sojer coat O his'n with the brass buttons on 1t. And this here is one O. 'em.
 l Toe hoH glnWar I and slower and lower and lower, all the time wigglin' and keepin' his eyes onto 1 Simon, and then he shet up student and with a snap Then me and Ellis Sam looked over to Simon, and we see he had got up and was fastenin' the kiver down on the pail O loose chawin' that al- ways sets on the counter, and it looked to us as If he had remembered that Uncle Jase always got sort O absent minded when he begun to make history, and seemed to forgit that the terbacker wasn't there, like almanacs, to help his- self to-
 'So when we see Simon fastenin' of the kiver on to the pail O loose chawin' we lknowed that Uncle Jase d be dis couraged, and that the history O that | VI AS fer me, I didn't care so much, fer l I wasn't lookin' fer no evidence ag'in ! my argyfyin' that bears wouldn't do it. but Ellis Sam he was disapp'inted, and he hauls out his new plug O sweet ter packer and hands it to Uncle Jase and says:
 '''Have a chaw, Uncle Jase?'
 Uncle Jase bein' Darticlarly fond O sweet plug, he cheered up like the sun comin' from behind cloud. took an amazin' chaw offen Ellis Sam S plug, and started right in to make history ag'in. Then, O course, his absent mindedness took holt on him, and he stuck Eil's Sam s plug into his pocket. .a ....s.
 "'Yes, yes!' says he, when Uncle Spitzer come up after the war and set tied in the Knob country, folks took sech liklo' to him that they never said nothin' ag'in his wearin' that British CT sojer coat O his'n with the brass buttons on it. Particularly they didn't after he fetched in the wildcat and @le fox, one day.
 ''He wasn't out after wildcat nor fox, neither. He was jest trampin' the woods with his eye peeled fer bear, but bear didn't seem to care to have him git his eye on to 'em, and they laid low. So he sot down on to log and lit his pipe, and was smokin' away, grinnin' to think how skeert all the bears was of him, and yit mad to know that they was, when a big red fox come trottin' out O the bushes and went skitin' past ] Uncle Spitzer like streak O grease 1 'ThinBin' that he mowt as well take fox skin home if he couldn't do no 1 better. Uncle Spitzer hauled up to put bullet into that one, when the fox got behind big chestnut tree and didn't come out into sight ag'in. Uncle Spitzer stepped round the tree to git bead on the fox and seen its brush disappearin' round t'other side O the tree He fol- Tered it on his tiptoes, and it kep' goin' on and so save his pesky gizzard, as Uncle Spitzer used to say, he couldn' t git higher to that fox than to jest git a glimpse O that tail O his'n whiskin'