Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-04-30
HAD TO GIVE TT UP

There is fat man in this town who AYERS
that there isn't tailor In Washington who
knows enough 7r who Ia agreeable enough
te manufacture trousers long enough at the
bottoms or high enough at the waist lfne for
a man weighing more than 1oS pounds.
This fat man, os may be inferred from
what is to follow. likes 'em long at both
ends. And. as he pays for his trousers, 1t
would really seem as IL he were entitled to
entertain certain ideas of his own as to how
he wants EN-.
couple of weeks ago he walked into
merchant tailor's place to order a blue serge
suit. He didn't say word while the tailor
was measuring Tim for the coat and vest.
In fact, he merely indicated to. the tailor,
while that part of the measuring was In
progress, that he didn't much care how the
coat AMI vest were cut, so that they didn't
look hand-nle-down when they were fin
ished
But when the tailor began to measure the
fat man for the trousers, the fat man mo-
toned him away. and stood on and made
little speech:
Now, look here you tailor man." he said
to the man with the tape measure, Il want
you to regard me. 1 want you to pay close
attention to what am going to say to you
for the next two or three moments.
Mister tailor mau, want these trousers
long. Long at the top and long at the bot
tom. I demand that ~ be made long. I
insist upon 1t with al of the latent force
of my individuality that this pair Of trou-
sers for which you are about to measure
me shall be made Iong-l-o-n-g, long
Il am bitter upon this topic, so that you
need take no offenSe at my words. l am
now a man of forty-six years Of age, and
solemnly declare unto you that never yet,
in the whole course of my life, have 1 ever
been able to induce tailor to make my
trousers long enough to suit me- They
have promised to do it, but they never did
it. Many of them tried to talk me out of
having EN- made long, and. not succeeding
in that, they made EN- as they wanted TO
any way, and got no satisfaction. Some
of the trousers that they made me seemed
almost long enough until had sat down
in them for about an hour or so, but after
that they were highly waters Of the first wa
ter, and then I'd have to send EN- back to
be let down, and the letting-down job was
generally botched, and l always got the
worst of it.
"wfll you solemnly undertake to make
these trousers long enough for me, and
remember your solemn undertaking befors
you put scissors to them? Tell me that
The tailor remarked, with shrug, that
nothing was more foolish, in his estimation.
than trousers too long at the waist line ana
at the bottoms. But. since the fat man had
gone to such pains to insist upon the point.
why
VERY well-rH take your word for It,,
and see how make out" said the fat man,
and he permitted himself to be measured
for the trousers, and walked out
On the following morning the tailor re-
ceived postal card from the fat man.
Remember" said the fat man on the
postal card, your promise about making
'em long,
Later on that day the tailor was called
to the telephone. The fat man was at the
other end Of the wire.
I'm only calling you up said the fat
man through the telephone, ito invite your
attention to the fact that have your sa-
cred word of honor. a merchant tailor
and a man, to make those trousers long
enough for me-
During the next couple of days a number
of the fat mans friends. misunderstanding
men. dropped in at the tailor's. Each had
the same errand.
Il just dropped around at my friend Jim 8
suggestion these friends of the fat mans
would say, ito use whatever influence I
possess to induce you to make those trou-
sers that he ordered from you long enough.
I'd like to have you help Jim out as to that
point. Jim's a good fellow, and doesn t
owe a man in the world a dollar, and he's
a slayer and sticks to his friends, and we
all think a lot of Jim. And SO I'd like to
have you accede to Jim's request that those
trousers be made hong enough for him.
Just wanted to keep you in mind of 1t, you
know
The blue serge suit was delivered to the
fat man three days ago. He wore 1t around
for while that evening. The waist-line of
the trousers sagged below the tab of his
shirt, and. after he had sat on his front
steps for a while and got up, the trousers
were about an inch and half too short.
The fat man has given 1t up. He's all
In, he says. He has done his best, and he
can do no more.