Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1904-12-01

Yesterday your old college friend
Clarence blew III from Monte Carlo,
where he had been in the interests Of
science. and presented your letter OF
introduction. Said he still couldn't
understand just how it happened, be-
cause he had figured it out BY loga-
rithms and trigonometry and differen
tfal calculus and a lot of other high
priced studies that he'd taken away
from Harvard and that 1t was a cinch
On paper Was SO sure that he could
hare proved his theory right II he'd
only had a little more money that 1t
hardly seemed worth while to tell him
that the only thing he could really
prove with his system was old Pro-
fessor DarWin's theory that men and
monkeys began life IN the same cage.
It never struck me before, but III bet
the professor got that idea while he
was talking with some Of his students.
Personally don't know a great deal
about gambling, because all ever
spent FOR information on the subject
was So my fool horse broke IN the
strefch--and that was forty years ago.
But irst and last I've heard q lot of
men explain how 1t happened that
they hadn't made a hog killing. OF
course there must be winning end to
gambling, but all that these men have
been able to tell about Is the losing
end. And I gather from their expert
ences that when q fellow does a little
gambling on the side it's usually on the
wrong side.
The fact OF the matter is that the
race horse the faro tiger and the
poker kitty have bigger appetites than
any healthy critter has a right to have,
and after you've fed tapeworm
there's mighty little left for you. Fol
lowing the horses may be pleasant ex-
ercise at the start, but they're apt to
lead You to the door OF the poorhouse
or the Jail at the finish.
TO get back to Clarence, he. took
about an hour to dock his cargo of
hard luck and another to tell me how
strange 1t was that there was no draft
from his London bankers waiting to
welcome him. Naturally I haven't
lived for sixty years among a lot OF
fellows who've been trying to drive d
cold chIsel between me and my bank
account without being able to smell Il
touch coming long time before 1t
OveTtakes me, and Ciarence's inten-
tions permeated his CHEEKY conversa
tion about as thoroughly as q fertilizer
factory does a warm summer night.
or course he gave me every opportu.
nifty to prove that was d gentleman
and to suggest delicateIy that should
be glad IL he would let me act as his
banker In this sudden emergency, but
as didn't show any signs of being Il
gentleman and q banker he was finally
forced to come out and ask me in5
coarse commercial words Co lend him
d hundred. Said 1t hurt him to have to
do It on such short acquaintance, but
couldn't see that he was suffering any
real pain.
Frankly, / shouldn't have lent Clar-
ence dollar on his looks or his story,
FOR they both struck me dis doubtful
collateral but SO long as he had d
letter from you asking me to do any
thing lii my power to oblige him or to
make his stay Ia Carlsbad pleasant,
let him haye the money On your ac-
count, to which I have written the
cashier to charge tt OF course, I hope
Clarence will pay you back, but think
you will save bookkeeping By charg-
Ing 1t or to experience. I've usually
found that these quick, glad borrowers
are slow, sad payers, And when q TEL