The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-12-11
Toadvine. Dec. 1st. 1904.

Toadvine. Dec. 1st. 1904. Mister Advertiser:
 Ih,se been laying off 70 write to you all my folks have been powerful busy making Sorgum--and this here cleo tion for a president has hooked me galIeyWest.
 Down here in Toadvine at Jim Dem sons store yistiddy, Jim he allowed that President Roosevelt would pus- sew a mild and soothing pollycy against the South, and hand us out O. dish pan full of new fresh laws, But MT. Advertiser just put Hiram G. Pansy down as bowling for the old laws, and old times. and old fashioned doinss! Them adult laws that our
 granddaddies used Is good' enun for us white men-and 1t don't make a con- tinertal bit of difference if they don't suit the rest of the poperlation.
 Old fashioned things is all rite;-nst and skull fight at elections, low taxes. barby-kews and Speakings. all day Preachin and dinner on ths-grounda- flat woods -frolix. bow legged fiddler and punchin floor, corn-whjskey and pitchin hoss-shews. white officers for all the offices, egg-nogg at Crissmus- all combined with a few good trash- movin rains on the crap;-these here blessings of a Kind Providence is what we want, and If the President will in- shore these mercifuI dispensations he will make himself might poplar in Toadvine beat.
 have been sorter courtin around lately, on account fthe fact that ] lost my first wife by weath,-she was a Sanders-about year ago, rite in the middle of the cotton picking season. when cotton was fetching nine cents 8 pound, and have been waiting to find a real. mild. industrious young gal that could hustle about a cook steve, and make me a rale lovin wife,-tho ] haven't saw one as yet that I thought would hu the bill. except in your Town. I am just busting fourth into the glorious dawn of my Forty-ninth year. and I have fooled around with women long enough to know that they are mighty handy enduring the crap season.
 Last saddy I got on the train at Kaylery figuring to ride down to Mum gummery to see young gal down there. and incerdentally to buy about g. gallon of Cawn-juice. for medical pup poses The train was crowded to deth- and there was a pale little gal with g. faded shawl. and bundle of sewing in s~s hand that couldn't find no seat roag up and bowed and told her to occupie- my seat. She thanked me. mighty sweet and trembly, and squez through the crowd to the seat, and was jess about to set down when a fat dude with black chin whiskers slid in to that seat;-and two other mail hogs that was partners of his in ad-jining seata laffed fit to kill thesselves at the pale gal and me. I teched Fatty op the shoulder and told him that he was a settin in the little lady's seat, be- cause had give her that seat. Egg scuse me-" he says. You cant expect to keep a seat and leave it, too! It was unoccupied when l took it!"--and then the two- other Dudes laffed a heap more, and the little gal blushed as red as q brick chimley, and looked like she was goin to cry.
 By this time I was sorter getting arowsed, and there warnt any more in- terlectua1 conversation between me and Fatty. I jess natchurall run my thumb down inside his shirt-collar, and tuck holt of the bust of his pants with the other hand, and I jerked that Dude so high you could see the pegs in his shoes. Then I socked the pale little gal in OUR seat, fixin' her comfortably fin it, and after I got that job done l set down kerplunk in the laps of the two pardners that had been tickled so about the performance of Fatty, re- markin to them in my most pleasant voice that I "Thort it was gwine to rain, shortly"
 This here rash conduct of mine seem ed to tickle the crowd. nightly, but tell you. MT. Advertiser, Your MT Hiram G. Pansy ain't goin' to set around and do nothin' and see a gal mistreated without arguing the matter iuRA mild way. Wimmin is a frail ves- Eel. anyway and while us Men appear ts think we are the Simon Pure Ar tIkal2-yet a woplAnsNgenesalfy man ages fo git thar somehow, especially thar Is shore enuf Man around.
 thort R9ylery was a purity big town out 1t ain't a patchin' along side of 4ungummery. When I got off at the Yelling Esd Depow and I heard them oteI niggers whoapin' at a feller to ut up at their Ta&erns I certinglee ore the Yelling Bnd> pepow was the giat name for that plSee, but had ,rtef come to your TowR on court
 gexpedish and ! wasn'k Koing to find
 lit even with nigger. Wpoush one