Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-05-03

started out bn Zip OF his territory, ana
s seons sv sot r assa table q s ana nsns
letter to hfs Wife he'd simply slide the
cylinders onto HIS talking machine IN the
privacy OF his apartment and tak away 70
three cylinders. as his state OF garruh1x OF
reserve at The time might dictate. Then
he'd number the cylinders one. two, three
the hotel and thss.date. and just ship the
lot to her.tt EVERY day she'd receive her
regular consignment Of her husDands voice.
All that she had to 90 was .. o,, sup t, .ro
the crank OF hewgag or whatever Y Is tn sa
sets the things in notion-and there sne
was leaning bacl1gin a rocking cnair. ana
her husband talking to her, ana telhnG ner
how pretty her ewes looked, and how that
piece Of ribbon in her hair became ner' anu
so on. .
This was. as everybody must admit, all
However, one day about two months ago
the wife in Brooklyn gleefuiiy opened q
package of the cylinders that her husband
had shipped from Chicago, and ntteo the
first one onto the talking machine. ;,
well, my precious little Jeanette girl
the sQueaky voice began-and then the
wife's expression was no longer e,eerui. .ha 1i
name wasn't Jeanette. More tnan that,
she knew. of a Jeanette. Jeanette was
tho name Of an authenticated young wo-
man employed as stenograpner at the o.
fice of her husbands firm. she, the wis,
come to think Of It, had always had her
doubts about that Jeanette person-nao al,
ways been more or less fncllned 10 Fesafo
her as an impertinent young baggage: "a.
The photograph went ahead with us
squeak, accomplishing its fell work. Jean
nette figured most absorbingly In all three
of the records.
This happened during the forenoon. Inc
outraged wife got into her street things
and raced over to the Office OF her nuspanu
firm. She peered into the office when
Jeanette had all to herself. Jeanette nao
.fAva m "a ~.
ty countenance. She was bending over a
monograph. listening intently. But she
surely looked a lot puzzled, Jeanette did.
Mixed Up His Phone Cylinders.
The answer? It ought to be obvious
enough. The travelling man had in Chi
cago got his photograph cylinders mixed.
that's all.
At the trial Of the divorce case, forthcom-
ing next October, all of the cylinders-those
intended for the wife, but interchanged by
accident. and those shipped through error
to Jeannette-are to make their various
music in open court This, at any rate, VIII
spare the town the misery of being COM
PEELED to give ear to the wrangling OF hand
writing experts. 50 called. But they are
bound to be stuffy days in the court room
while that case Is progressing.
There Is a certain eccentric police magis'
trate presiding over hopper court In this
town who, while he may be some short on
| 1magfnatfOn, as HcO SduHutIS SAPSSooS
it. Is mighty long on memory.
/. An extremely elderly and hOpeless-look-
ing drunk and disorder1y was arra1gned De-
fore this magistrate the other day. The
elderly drunk and diSorderly, on the pre-
vious day, and actuated by an acute need OF
and desire for immediate sttmulant. had de-
prived a little girl of the nickel with wmcn
she was to purchase loaf of bread for her
mother. Thus enriched. he had repaired to
one Of those interesting institutions of New
York, called barrel houses, and purchased
for himself Large ball of fine. mellow
Kentucky Bourbon whisky. cents a glass"
the glass being a mere poetic license,
since the liquid rejection is provided In
tin dipper.
After partaking of two of these-two for
nickel. they archie had gone into the
street and Intellectually attempted to quel.
the rampant spirits of a playful bull ter
rier. When the high-spirited bull terrier
got through with him he was arrested
John he said. in whining. out-in-the
storm voice to the magistrate, don't you
recognize your old friend of boyhood's
happy dayS?"
Cant say do" was the choppy reply
of the eccentric magistrate. Don't know
you from side of sole leather. What's
that got to 10 with it, anyhow? You were
drunk and fighting dog, 1 understands
John whimpered the man in the dock.
IT am none other than William Barnes.
nicknamed Smoke that used to go to
school with you forty years ago In the old
first ward, and that used to play hockey
with you and go in swimming with you,
and" 5..z tts---; sz. .--.-
"OhoT' interrupted the unimaginative
magistrate with the marvellous memory.
80 you're Bill. hey? Always did have It
time that you threw a rock at my poodle,
along about those forty years ago that you're
mentioning, and put one of his eyes out?
Don't, hey? Well, 1 do. Bill. Six months
on the island for you, William. Next casew
Somehow or another these slow-music
appeals about boyhood days and things
never DO seem to make much of hit with
New York police magistrate. c. L. c..