davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06
& & &


In these serious times when men
rush about the streets. with stern,
set faces, it seemeth pat to para
phrase the quotation, IAN honest
mans the noblest work of God" into
"A funny mans the noblest work"
etc,
1t was on Dbl street, in a crowd
ed city thoroughfare. Drivers were
shouting to tagged horses drawing too
weighty loGds, pedestrians were
lodging each other dexterously, and
the noon rush was ON in the congested
thoroughfare.
At dangerous crossing, Il poor,
iaded woman, with heavy bundle,
attempted to cross as a great brute
on coal wagon bawled out:
cit out of the way there! Git out
can't we see nothin'?" And with
never check ON his forging horses,
almost ran her down. A scowl or
two from passCrsby were aimed at
the man who directed his attention to
swearing at his horses as they labored
with the excessive load. Then there
came Into the story the funny man.
He had witnessed the brutal careless
ness of the driver, and he meant to
teach him lesson.
Hi" he cried, gestioulating wildly
and pointing eXcitedly at the wagon.
Hi Something the matter with your
ump-ump ump-ump (mumblingly)
hind wheel"
Whats that?' demanded the driver
above the clang of the cable cars and
the street tratiic.
Something the matter WITH yer
ump-umpty uxrumpty umity-nmp
hind wheeL-. refrigerated the funny
man, waving lis arms like a windmill
in Kansas wind storm and pointing
mysteriously under the transfers We,
hicle a
"whoa!F commanded the driver.
WHOA, d---n We, whoa!p and he pro-
ceeded with much alacrlty and great
concern to climb down from his high
seat.
Meanwhile the funny man stood
mute, pointing When the teamster
was prone on his knees trying to dis
cover the whereabouts of the break,
the funny man shouted;
run over another woman. will ye?"
and ducklng suddenly into the laugh
ing crowd, mace his escape.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06

Lowndes. Mo-, April 4th.-Mrs H.
G. Harty Of this place. says
For years was in very bad health.
Every spring would get so low that
was unable to do my own work.
seemed to be worse in the spring than
any other time of the year. was
very weak and miserable and had
much pain in my back and head.
saw Dodds Kidney Pills advertised
last spring and began treatment of
them and they have certainly done me
more good than anything have ever
used
IL was all right last spring and felt
better than have for over ten years.
am nifty years Of age and am strong
er to-day than 1 have been for many
years and give Dodds Kidney Pills
credit for the wonderful improve
ment."
The statement of Mrs. Harty is only
one Of a great many where Dodds
Kidney Pills have proven themselves
to be the very best spring medicine.
They are unsurpassed as tonic and
are the only medicine used in thou
sands of families,
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06

spring time Nature
every spring system reuVenafed spring
medicines effective Peruna
baIy spring viii stubborn cases
resisted years Everybody
of Dr. Harnans latest book
Pernna Mt dicine Co., Columbus, Ohio.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06
Now ballot Bog.

w. ]. Wilkinson Of Baltimore has
invented a new form of ballot box
which, the inventor claims, is worked
accurately and secretly It is not un.
like the form now in use in many re.
spects, the main departure being that
the voter indicates his selection OF
candidates by means of dropping balls
in holes marked with the name of the
candidates. Mr.. Wilkinson thinks by
using his device the practice of bal
lot box stufing can be eliminated,
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06
He spat

lie spat in the car and he spat on the
floor,
He spat On the street in the crush and
the din
Io spat in the hall and in front of the
The way this man spat was disgusting
as sin.
The women complained when he spat in
the store,
Pedestrians cursed as he spat in the
air
He spat on the pavement, and then spat
some more.
He spat all day long and he spat every
where.
One day In a paper he read large ad.
That told MIN Just how to be cured of
the borei
He FASTENED his quest ana he bought all
they had.
And now..he is splitting the same MS be-
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06

cannot speak too highly of Peruns.
and now when 88 years old can say it
has invigorated my whole system. I
cannot but think, dear Doctor, that
you must feel very thankful to the ALL
loving Father that you have been per-
mitted to live, and by your skill be
such a blessing as you have been to
suffering humanity. Rev. j. N.
Parker.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06
Me.aI used to oounterfeIt eoId.

Platinum is one of the especially
dangerous substitutes for gold in the
counterfeit. Its weight is almost ex-
act, and when 1t has been plated heav-
lily the coin that has been die struck
from it is calculated to pass anywhere
save in the hands OF those used to
the daily touch of gold. In circula-
ton, however they are short lived, as
the plating begins to wear off tho
edges in few weeks.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06
6 s 6

"oH. JoYr
A barrel holding $4,000 drinks OF
beer will be on exhibition at the St.
Louis fair If 1t were only double-bar-
relied, Alkali Eye, the fine drinlsin'
man of Texas" might be induced to
leave Houston long enough to "kilr
the exhibit.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06
A VENERABLE PASTOR
CURED BY PE-RU=NA.
Pe-fu-na is a Catarrhal Tonic
Especially Adapted to the De-
Ginning Powers Of Old Age.

In old age the mucous membranes
become thickened and partly lose
their function
This leads to partial loss of hear
ing, smell and taste, as well as digest
i've disturbances.
Peruna corrects all this by its spe-
cific operation on all the mucous
membranes of the body.
One bottle will convince anyone.
Once used and Peruna becomes q
lifelong standby with old and young.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06
Population of Russian cities.

The populations of the largest Rus
sian cities are: St Petersburg, 1884
600; Moscow, 1,17S,OOO; Warsaw, 756,.
900; Odessa, 100000 LODI, S51 900;
Kieff 3t9,O00 Riga, 100000; Char
kow, $4,000; Baku, $4,000; Wilma,
10000; Tifis, 100000 Tashkent,
10000; Jelsaterlnowslaw 10000;
Kishineff. 125,o0O; Rostow, 10000.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06
: @r elX1rker
Strong and vigorous at the Age
Of EightY-eight.

Rev. ]. N. Parker, Utica, N. Y,
writes: In June, 1901, lost my sense
of hearing entirely. My hearing had
been somewhat impaired for several
years, but net so much affected but
that / could hold converse with my
friends; but in June, 1901 my sense
of hearing left me SO that l could hear
no sound whatever. was also trou-
bled with rheumatic pains in my
limbs. commenced taking Peruna
and now my hearing is restored as
good as 1t was prior to June, 1901.
NV rheumatic pains are all gone.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06


What beautiful rings, Miss De
whooper hasl And how many of
them!r
Eyes. they are plentiful but. do you
know, think there is still something
missing?1
And what is that, pray?"
"A signl"
"A sign? Mercy sakes! What?"
"Glass! Handle With care'P
A man gets UP late, is delayed
through his own puttering, and arrives
at the railway station a half hour be.
hind time. All this he accepts philo-
sophically, but let the train be ive
minutes delayed and he will rave at
the cursed lack of system in railway
operations.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06

T. Fl. Lomax, D. D., Bishop % Dist
A. M. E., of Charlotte, N. c., writes
Il recommend your Peruna to all who
want a strengthening tonic and very
effective remedy for all catarrhal COM
plants. IT H. Lomax
If you do not receive prompt and
satisfactory results from the use of
Peruna, write at once to DR. Hartman,
giving a full statement of your case.
and he will be pleased to give you his
valuable advice gratis.
Address Dr. Hartman President OF
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus,
Ohio.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06

aoid lhseurhorl ~ void curaal1 ns,elvent ~.
Do fern d ck1oo,als Coated Inl 8e yer Vial d ~,
plaiment t1c, 1osp, f1e. nspesi L0hlo., Chatter
hepap a. Fails, Aus q 10 taiz eeien. ~ cou1tas
Ave- foAlr nrng Chez. Cen, bul. fIor1l1llft.
t1- bad Ter hlv 70 cuia ntSIy HUm9r.'
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06

a dressmaker says that fitting a
dress Is mere matter Of form.
Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-04-06

People ruled by the mood Of gloon
attract to them gloomy things.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30
STOP WITH ONE DAY ONLY.
Make Plenty of Noise When It Is Due,
But Do Not Garry
It Over

1t is time that all persons who have
reached the years of discretion should
enter a protest against the celebration
of Independence Day by unlimited and
unqualified noise. We are not quite
of the opinion of Carlyle that the dis
like Of noise is a measure of civiliza-
tion-altbough there is something to
be said for that, too, says the Indepen-
dent. Neither do we believe in regu-
lating the pleasures of youth too
strictly by the tastes of age. All young
people apparently delight in pure I'M
mitigated noise, and as youth, accord
ing to our friends the evolutionists, is
in state Of inherited savagery, it's joy
in squibs and crackers would seem to
be a confirmation of Carlyle's decree.
However, youth also has its rights
and privileges. Let there be noise on
the Fourth of July-savage, nerve.
rending, peace-destroying noise, not
without the desired accompaniment of
burnt clothes, lacerated fingers, de-
oculated heads and lockjaw-the last
evil bringing the relief of silence at
least. But we pray for a Limitation. Of
time. From sunrise to sunset is surely
sufficient for the. national. relapse into
barbarism.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30
SAMPLE OF FUTURE HISTORY
The Way the Securing of Vice Pres
idential Candidate May Be
Recorded.

Stealthily the stalwart, determined men
surrounded the house, undetected, owing to
the darkness and the dense fog that cover eo
everything, relates the Chicago Tribune.
Posting one of their number, fully armed
at every possible avenue of escape, the lead
er, accompanied by dozen trusty followers
upon whose courage and fidelity he knew he
could rely in eny emergency, approached a
rear door
II, given signal they threw their united
weight against it.
The door yielded, and the next moment
they were inside.
Rushing through the house, they soon
found the man for whom they were search
ing.
He was sitting in the back parlor, sur
rounded by his family, unprepared to resist,
and evidently taken wholly by surprise.
Surrender" cried the leader, pointing
his revolver at his head.
''Gentlemen," said the man, pale but out
wardly calm, 81 see you have me at dis
advantage. But you need not have brought
those handouts along. I'll go with ycr
quietly"
He had just been nominated by one O.:
the great political parties for the Office CT
vice president of the United States.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30
The Preachers Evidence.

Roland, H., June 27.-Diabetes has so long
been looked upon as an incurable form of
Kidney Disease that sure cure for it must
rank as one of the most valuable medical
discoveries of the age. And every day brings
forth fresh evidence that Dodd's Kidney
Pills will cure Diabetes. Important evidence
in their favor is given by Rev. Thos. B. Nor
man, the well-known Baptist minister here.
Mr.. Norman says:
81 had all the symptoms Of bad case OF
Diabetes and received so much benefit from
the use of Dodd's Kidney Pills that cheer
fully recommend them to anyone suffering
from that dread disease. Dodd's Kidney
Pills will cure the worst form of Diabetes. -
Dodd's Kidney Pills always cure Diabetes,
one of the final stages of Kidney Disease.
All the earlier stages, from Backache to
Rheumatism, are naturally much more cas-
lily cured by the same remedy.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30


artist of the party-and let 1t 60 at
that. and thought nothing more of it
until we reached Port Huron, and the
Canadian customs official visited us.
What's in that box?" he asked, at
ter he had examined our suit cases and
fishing tackle in a perfunctory way.
Nothing that is dutiable in Cana
d." said Yorker, but the answer sim
ply aroused the officials suspicious.
and. even though he was from Canada,
ae had to be shown.
1t was just then that q fellow pas
senger on the train called me to ask
for information regarding the fishing
In one of the Muskoka lakes, and
left for q moment. AS I returned
heard the customs officer say, as he
walked away:
Don't think you could sell those
things in Canada, SO I guess it's all
right"
That was the last said about that
box other than to condemn it as need
less baggage at times when 1t had to
be portrayed from one lake to another
In getting into our fishing grounds that
lay few miles west of the Muslsoka
chain of lakes. Once the box was
slowed away in the cabin neither my
self or any Of the others of the party
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30
PoLLY'S FOURTH OF JULY.
Even a Parrot Can Cry, "Hurrah for
George Washington" az the ~
Proper Time.

Polly was . middle-aged parrot,
whose early days had been spent in
the green forests of Yucatan in Cen
trail America. I had long tried to
teach Polly to speak, and had taught
her to say a few short sentences.
About eight weeks before the Fourth
Of July I tried to teach Polly to say
"Hurrah for George Washington" But
she would not repeat it after me. Then
thought it might be too long to say
it all at once-that she probably could
not remember it all, so tried to teach
her to say it word for word. But no;
she wouldn't say a word of it.
Yet she listened attentively when
repeated it. Then got disguised and
gave it up till a week or so before the
Fourth; then I tried to make her say
it, but she would not listen to me now.
So when the morning of the Fourth
came I went out to Polly. She said:
Hello" I answered: Hello, Poll;
can't you say 'Hurrah for Georgs
Washington for met" Then she be-
came furious and few to the other
side of her cage and would not look a:
me. SO I finished feeding her. l went
into my room and got my firecrackers.
went outside, and was shooting my
fireworks away when mother called to
come in for luncheon. After luncheon
had to stay in the yard, so 1 went
and got Polly and hung her up on the
veranda, put up the hammock and
was reading st. Nicholas, when along
the street comes the street band play
ing "Star-Spangled Banner"
Then all of a sudden Polly became
restless and cries as loud as she can:
'Hurrah for George Washington!
This is the story of Polly's FOURTH
st. Nicholas.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30
AN oLD-FAsH1oNED FOURTH OF

IAN SAO-C A0nAONGiO GOO11a OG
JULY.
These new-fangled notions are giving the
A queer kind Of Fourth-one without any
noise:
With speeches and picnics no patience
have I.
And pine for the old-fashioned Fourth OF
July.
Then we rose with the dawn and the cannon
came first
We packed it with powder till ready to
burst
And my! how the glass in the windows did
When it startled the echoes of Fourth Of
July.
We hitched up old Dobin, and all tumbled
The Eoomy old wagon-ths fat and the
Even grandma was there. and as clipper
and spry
As any young maiden the Fourth of July.
We went to the barbecue-who cared for
showers;
When the feast was a-flutter with banners
And If down came the rain in the midst of 1t,
why,
1t was part Of an old-fashioned Fourth of
July.
The rockets and pinwheels and firecrack.
ers, too,
At evening all Joined in the hullabaloo,
And Washington rode on his horse in the
sky
A figure In flame on the Fourth Of July.
The band marching out in their uniforms
gay
Struck up by the light Of the bonfires to
play
The Star-Spangled Banner and Sweet By
and By, . =
And so ended glorious Fourth of July.
-Minna Irving. in Woman's Home Com
panion. 4
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30
MANAGEMENT OF POULTRY.
Easiest Way Of Increasing Profit Ii
Reduction Of Expenses by
Sensible Methods.

Many farmers turn their hens out to
forage, and give them no attention
Such a system is Improbable, as the
farmer loses some of the eggs, and
also a large proportion OF the chicks.
When the farmer is too busy to attend
to the fowls he will not ind them
profitable. Even if the flock has the
run of an orchard, it must nave shell
ter and protection at night, and lice
must be kept down. It is claimed by
some that it is more profitable not to
confine the hens, because 1t is more
difficult for a beginner to manage a
flock in a yard than when the hens
are at liberty, as he must supply all
their wants and must understand how
to avoid mistakes, especially those OF
overlooking; but it is maintained. on
the. contrary, that if hens are on a
range they will linstinctively care for
themselves, and in so doing save the
beginner many annoyances. A large
number of farmers keep their hens up
to prevent depreciation in the garden,
although the hens do not damage the
garden as much as may be supposed,
but destroy many insects. IT a hen
with a brood of chicks secures an
opportunity to scratch up a garden
that has been newly planted, they will
make sad havoc with the seeds and
very young plants; bat as soon as the
garden is we'll under way it is as safe
from the attacks of hens as a field
ho hn will h,1C
themselves with insects. tender grass,
terminating weed-seeds, worms, amt
other deiicacies which he prefer The
proper mode of management depends
upon the farm, the principal crops
grown, the climate, the number Of
fowls and facilities for transportation
to market. 1t is difficult to frame rules
that are applicable to all conditions.
There is almost a sure profit to be de-
rived under nearly all circumstances,
as a flock Of hens is capable of saving
certain portions of crops that cannot
be sold to advantage, such as seeds,
grass, vegetables, small potatoes, etc.
There is at all times on the farm lot
of valuable refuse which cannot be
saved except by the use of poultry. 1t
Is true that other animals are also SER
viceable in that respect, but the hens
give more immediate returns, supply
ing eggs daily, and bringing in cash
when three are no returns from other
sources. In keeping flock of fowls
the object should be to feed nothing to
them that can be sent to market, as
long as there is something unstable
that will answer the purpose. Econo-
my adds to the profit, and one of the
chief purposes in keeping a flock is
to utilize the waste products. 1t is the
capacity of the hens to seek thier food
that reduces expenses and increases
the profit-Farm AMI Fireside.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30
Red Gum Coming to Front,

Recent investigations of the bureau
Of forestry indicate an important addi-
ton to the present timber resources of
the country through the better utiliza-
ton of the red gum. This timber tree is
the predominant species on the hard
wood bottom lands of all the southeast
ern states. In spite of its abundant sup
ply, it has been slow to reach CONNER
cial importance, because of the extent
to which 1t warps and stains in season.
ing. While hickory, oak, ash and yell
low poplar were cheaply obtainable, red
gum received little attention. The in
creasine scarcity and rising price Of
more adaptable trees have forced the
gum into market place Of late and have
caused lumbermen to seek, with par
tial success, such methods of handling It
as would obviate the difficulties which
have stood in the way Of larger use Of
the wood.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-06-30

was happening. He stood watching
the proceedings for a little while, and
could see that he was not so averse
to 1t all as he would have us believe.
After little while he came out and
took down his diminutive Union Jack.
1T don't belong in any such a din
as this" ne explained.
The box was not very large, and q
portion of it was FLIED with fireworks
for a night display, so that the supply
of explosives was soon exhausted, and
the crowd sat around the front of the
cabin wishing for more. Then it was
that Moore's turn came. He had found
an old coffee can with a screw top, and
putting in a goodly supply Of powder
had packed 1t tight with paper and ap-
piled fuse. Lighting 1t he slipped up
close behind Yorker and, before that
individual had discovered the presence
of the Internal machine, it exploded
with terrific bang that sent Yorker
into the air with a bound.
In his pleasure at the success of bis
retaliation Moore forgot all about his
early anger, and entered into the
spirit of the celebration with an en-
thusiasm worthy Of son of the rev.
olution. He donated his suyply of
loose powder, kept carefully against
the day when his rifle ammunition
should run short. and when that was
exhausted, thanks to his assistance, he
got out his rife and, amused himself by
firing into the air until, firing of that.
he set to work to unload shells enough,
to secure sufficient powder to FIX up
another coffee can.
Before noon came Moore was tho
most hilarious one Of the crowd, and
the loudest in his lamentations at the
exhaustion of the noise producing ma
terial, though he insisted that 1t was
"just the sport of the thing" that ap-
pealed to him, and that there was no
sentiment connected with 1t. He de-
voted the afternoon to fixing up the
fishing punt for the evening fireworks,
proposing that they be exploded from
on the water, and what is more, he
asked that he might be allowed to
shoot them of while the rest of us
sat on the shore and watched the dis
play.
1t was after ten o'clock that evening
when the last colored ball from the
last Roman candle had burst in the
clear northern air, and Moore rowel
the punt back to shore. For some lit
tie time afterwards ne sat on a stump
smoking. Finally he said:
Gentlemen, I'm an American. was
born back there in the States, and the
blood's still in my veins. This land
of lakes and forests, this land with its
wild red deer and its moose and its
black bear and its game fish. is para
disc the majority of the year. But,
gentlemen, while should like to be
with you next year will not be here
on the Fourth of July. That one day
Of each year hereafter while live will
be spent in my native land. It will be
spent in old Vermont, where the sup
ply Of frecrackers. and torpedoes. and