Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-01-30

always soft, is it not?" Not always"
/ replied the bright scholar: sometimes
it's soft, but very often it comes down
hard"
4 Harold" said his mother. severely.
4 why did you take two pieces of cake
/ from the piate?" Well, you see,
mamma. had to. 1 was playing that
was twins"
PostnuptlaE He Whose wife has
been reading some of his old love let
ters to herr What is the use of keep
Ing all those old things? She--Lest we
( forgct-lest we forget Brooklyn Life.
parkway you make love to any
girls at the shore? Cleyerton--Yes
One from Boston and one from New
Orleans How was it?" Did you
ever have chills and fever?" Smart
/ Set
Young Wife tat dinnerl-I didn't ten
/ you, Adolphus cooked the dinner TO-
day myself. Husband--Indeed. Then
in my thoughts l have been doing poor
Mary Ann great njustice.-Pear-
sons Weekly.
Say began the determined looking
man, Il want a good revolver" Yes,
sir" said the salesman, "a six-shoot-
er?' why -er-you'd better make it
a nine-shooter, | want to use it on
cat next door,
Jenkins-Have You a typewriter at
your office? Jinks-Yes indeed! Jcn-
kins-What style? Jinks-Oh, the very
latest. You ehould see the new fan
gown she's wearing these days,--Phil-
adelrhia Public Ledger
Nell--I was delighted TO meet her at
a bargain sale to-day Belle--I thought
you detested her. Nell-So l do; ana
during the crush found a chance to
give her few good pokes on my own
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
Lady Visitor Ito little girD-What
became of the little kitten you had
here once? Little Glrl--Why. haven't
You heard? Lady Visitor-No. Was
he drowned? Little Girl--Why. no. 1t
growed up 10 be a cat--Ilustrated
Bits.
Mother-Now, before you 20 10
sleep, have you been guilty OF any
little sins that you should be sorry fors
Willie--Yes, ma, think I've been gull
ty of usury. Mother-Of usury? viii
lle-Yes. ma, found penny, and
used it!
Say" began the first man, nibbling
his pen, how do you spell 'gibbering
with g. or ~" Il don't spell 1t
at ALL" replied the other. when 1
want to call man that sort of idiot
Just say It, I'm not fool enough TO
put II in writing"
Mrs. De F-My dear. have picked
out husband for you. Miss De f.
Very well; but | want to say right
now, mother, that when II comes to
buying the wedding dress / am going
TO select the material myself; so there's
New York Weekly
| SMITH wonder what Brown IN.
tends to do with all the money he got
for those historical novels he wrote.
| Jones-He intends to travel. He feels
that he ought to visit some of the
places he wrote about; just to SEQ
what they are like.-Life
Mamma, | know the gentIeman's
name that called to see aunt Ellie last
highland nobody told me either"
well, Their, what IL it. BobbieY'
Why, George Don't! heard her say
George Don't in the parlor four or five
lines running. That's what his name
is!"-Tlt Bits.
Did you tell that awful bore who
called that | had gone to San Fran
ciscoY" Yes, sir. said the new office
boy; Il told him you started this morn
ing" Good b0yl What did he ~
He wished TO know when you'd re-
Iurn, sir, and told him did not think
you would be back until after lunch"
Van Antler entertaining Witherby
at his country home)-Now, old man,
II you should happen to want any
thing in the night, Just touch this
bell. Witherby-Never! l know how
hard 1t Is to keep servants In the couH-
try. Catch me touching that bell.
Van Antler-But ! assure you, you
are perfectly safe. The bell doesn't
work Life.
"How's your mother? asked the
neighbor. Worried to DEATH" answer
ed the boy who was swinging on the
front gate. Fathers hunting In the
Adirondacks, brother Bits gone to
political convention, brother Jacks
Joined football team and the dress
maker has just told mother that she'd
look a fright in mourning. Washing
ton star.
Catching up: Il suppose fellow
ought to have a good deal OF money
saved up before he thinks of marry
ing" "Nonsense / didn't have cent
when / started, and I'm getting along
fine now" "That so? InstalIment
plan| Yes; and we've only been mar
ried and keeping house for year, and
I've got the engagement ring all paid
for now. "-Philadelphia Press.