The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-01-03

| glared at each other, devoured by In
ward remorse at their impious and I'M
seemly conduct of the evening before
until Sarah could stand it no longer
She jumped up and tied OH her bonnet
"Where? asked Hezekiah with a
groan.
"Neighborsr' answered Sarah with a
weary sigh.
With that she went out. and by the
time Hezekiah had finished his breakfast
she trailed into the yard with Salathiel
and Nathaniel and Simeon and Peter and
Elias. Hezekiah Joined them, and in a
solemn procession, they all fieled into the
back lot to the well, where Sarah turned
and addressed them
"Neghbors" she said, Eat first this
morning l thought maybe Hez an me
had both gone daft. Sence then I've
come to think that maybe there is really
something funny about this we'll Nothin'
funny ever happened in Gloomsburg, as
l can remember, and so | thought we
couldn't jedge whether thing was fun
ny or not. want we should all make
fair test If you all laugh it's funny.
If We don't Hez an me is looney, that
all there is to It, Hez, wind up1'
So Hez wound up.
As the creaking windlass started, the
| five gloomy neighbors looked at each
other with panied glances. They were
as sure as tax day that no earthly OBJ
| ject could come up out of that well to
| make them laugh. But Sarah, watching
| their grim features closely. detected a
| change of expression before the drill was
| half way up. At any other time she
would have rushed to the house for the
| smart weed bottle, thinking from the
agonized looks that they were all going
| to have cramps. In the light of her
own experience. however, she knew they
were going to smile.
| And they did smile.
! As the drill came nearer and nearer the
surface they gathered closer and closer
around it. their smiles broadened and
! broadened, and, as the dripping drill
! finally popped out of the hole, they
burst into simultaneous roar of laugh
! ter.
Sarah and Hezekiah were vindicated!
That drill really was funnyl
Hezekiah, by a supreme effort, held
himself in till he could fasten the winch
and leave the great iron joke swinging
in the air to convulse all beholders, then
he Joined hands with Sarah, and togeth-
er they danced ng-around-the-rosy and
laughed themselves black in the face.
Salathiel Croak was sitting on the
ground against an apple tree with his
hands to his sides, Nathaniel Moody was
turning cartwheels like a boy, Simeon
Graveweeds was working the top part
of his body up and down like a pump
handle and slapping his knees, Peter
Grump and Elias Bilious were humping
each other on the back turn and turn
about, and all of them were laughing
like clowns at a smpleton party, when
Hezekiah took up a vote
rs it's it funny?'' he asked between
paroxysms, STOPPING down and poking
Salathiel in the ribs.
"A-h-h-h-h-h, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha-yes!'
shrieked Salathiel.
rs it's it funny?" he asked with a
gasp, as he stopped Nathaniel and stood
him on his feet.
"O-h- h-h-h-h, no, no, no. no, no. go
way. OF course 1t isv' roared Nathan
iel. .O-h-h-h-h, no, no. no, no. no, a-h-
h-hr'
rs it's it funny?" he demanded WHIP
ing his eyes as he grabbed Simeon's hat
and dashed it to the ground.
''Aw-w-w-w haw, haw, wh-e-e-e-ei
Sure!' whooped Simeon, doubling up and
sitting down to pound the ground with
his hat
Between outlaws Peter and Elias as
sured him of the same thing and Heze-
kiah pranced over to Sarah in ecstacy.
yelled, and with that the two Doles sat
on the hog trough and let go with a
clear conscience.
The other neighbors began to stream
into the back lot, now, and within an
hour they had all been there At first,
as the new ones came in, they regarded
the drill solemnly and sadly, but, as
they drew nearer they smiled and as
they came clear up to it they all doubled
up and roared. 1t was a wonderful joke,
that drill, and since everybody was In
the same, boat, none of them was afraid
to laugh every time they thought of it.
Nobody could explain just why 1t was so
funny, but what was the use? Few peo-
pie understand a joke anyway, and so
the Gloomsburg folks didn't stop to an
alyze 1t. They just laughed. They got
in the habit of it by and by, and went
over to Doles's to laugh every day Some
of them, in fact. got to be regular laugh
topers but law nobody cared, because
even the parson laughed, and he actually
got to preaching cheerful sermons after
awhile.
There was a peculiar smell about that
well, but nobody minded that. 1t seemed
so much a part of the fun that a mere
sniff of it in the nostrels reminded folks
of the great joke, and they had to laugh
| then and there. Hezekiah hadn't the
heart to remove that convulsively funny
drill, SO he let it swing in the breeze and
rust, and provoke merriment But the
smell kept getting stronger and stronger,
and by and by you could smell 1t all over
town, and people were laughing most of
the time. OF course, being used to it
now, they didn't laugh so hard and 1t
didn't pain them any more but they en-
joyed it all the better for that.
1t was not until about six months after
| when Professor de Jerker came to town
on his annual visit, that Gloomsburg
knew the truth of the matter. By that
time everybody was so fat and jovial
that the professor hardly knew the place
and Hezekiah and his wife were so fat
they had to enlarge their DOORS
The professor pulled teeth on the
street for nothing and indoors for a
quarter, and made false teeth for five
dollars set, or more If he could get it.
When he heard about the funny well he
gave sniff and started for 1t. He is
laughing quite comfortably yet over the
results of that trip. When he got to the
well he stood right over the hole and
gave strong sniff, then fell back laugh
ing.
"A-h-h-h-h-h-h, haw. haw, haw, hawl'
said he MY friends, you've-you've
struck a fortune here. Haw, haw haw!
You want to capitalize this O-h-h-h
| haw, haw, hawl Ah-h-h, haw hawi
I'll form a stock company and take half
the shares as promoter, then7-then well
put it on the market A-h-h-h haw,
| haw! An, ha, ha. ha, haw, haw, hawi
| This is well of laughing gas!'
/