New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-08-24

lucky likes o gazo on only less than to taste.
Some asked him at last why he always shut
his eyes. He replied. Aim afraid II All looked
at It nah mouth would watah and dilute nah
Iquah"
GETTING READY.
The house IS cluttered up with trunks and grips
And fathers hunting all around for straps and
cords and ropes.
Tho wagons from department stores leave bundles
And every bed and chair presents a millinery dis
play.
My mothers stitched much that she IS growing
The hired girls ali tired out from running the
They've burned eight dollars worth Of gas while
They're turning out new dresses IN a end-
ing now
You'd think Il meant a wedding FOR they fuss
And they could az out sixteen brides with all that
But that's not it at all; It mean, that Sister
Away TO make visit for perhaps a week or so
-(st. Louis World
A correspondent ot The London Globe vouches
FOR the truth Of tho following anecdotoi Scene
Colealan-at. one sweltering afternoon. Philoso-
pher. in corduroys, seated the edge Of his
I Is this. the bloke wot first invented work
ought to - hslly well dug up and made TO finish
g."
THE BLUE CPBNCIL) BIRD.
Then methousht the news grew denser. fixed Up by
with pencil OF deep azure. making correspond
seRd 10 rs ao news N9T m Mhs6 You your
Really ought 20 have some sense. You kin tho
details OF the score.
Robbing it OF interest hence you rob us"
But the censor swore:
indianapolis News
We have always looked on tho Doe as mon
strously oyerrated insect says Tho London
Globe" At the back of mind there has always
lurked a suspicion that his ostentatIous goodness
was simply for purposes OF advertisement. This
view is supported by the behavior OF a swarm a
Enfield. which for two solid days drinking
stout by the barrel at the Mays Head On tho
morning Of tho third day they staggered away.
Perhaps somebody viii revise that poem OF Or.
Wattss:
How doth the little busy bes
He fies about iii he finds stout.
And drinks IL BY the cask-"
Col. George e. Jenkins. quarternaste- and COM
missary OF the Nebraska State Guard. who has
had large and rich experience with mules. gives
them this testimonial;
After a lifetime OF close association with the
mule. I have known him 10 kick a man:
nor have 1 ever met man who knew another man
OF his own knowledge who had been kicked by
a mule.
This is bold statement. but Il IL true
nevertheless You question soldiers OF the
army everywhere. and I confidently predict that
they will bear out In this. I know I am up
roofing d popular belief. but ] ask you TO stop
and think and IL l doing our mule
friend deserved justice. Horses kicks plenty
mule kicks rare as promotions"
1t IS unknd OF Colonel jenkins thus to upset
general belief. Tho mule has borne with patient
indifference his evil reputation. but what is man
10 do without the expression. Kicks like a mule"Y
MIsERUM
I'll Goaas 1 nGney uS saye Usually man OF
Of enjoyment. London Opinion.
I cannot save. tho have tried;
| deemd III, the wish TO spend
Aud in my ruin end.
But now l find that men who save
Are sordd. small Of brain:
Souls that are generous. free and brave
Throw money down a drain.
Feeble ambitions vlsags sad.
Then let me fegn that L glad
If left without groat.
And vet / think II Fortune sent
A thousand pounds so,
I'd try my best TO stay lament
That none my grief need know
parrot In a, country district escaped from its
cage and settled on the roof OF Iaborer's cottage
The Iaborer had never seen such a thing before
and climbed up with view of securing II. When
his head reached the level OF the top OF the roof
tho parrot dapped a wing at him and said, What
dye want?'
Very much taken back. tho laborer politely
touched his cap and replied:
II beg your pardon. sir; thought you were n
hirdr'
Johnny-say, papa. passing counterfeit money is
unlawful, isn't 1t?
Papa-Yes.
the street and saw a $40 counterfeit bill upon the
sidewalk and did n1s Psf o @p wouldn't s0 he be
% papaSMore likely the lunatie asylum Now you
ma 1a IN he'd Commercial