davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13
The Doctors Advice.

At a dinner party one night Sir
Andrew Clark noticed that the lady
sitting next to him at table passed
"a dish to which he helped himself
plentifully. ~ H.a
He asked if she did not like it, as
it was excellent.
"Oh, yes, / like it, but my physi-
clan forbids me to eat it," she ex-
planned.
"Stuff and nonsense" said Sir An.
drew. cit could not hurt any one.
Who is your physician?" Y
To which the lady, whom the
medical magnate had forgotten, an
swered, with a demure twinkle in
her eye: H ~ "a
ssSir Andrew Clark - London
Spare Moments
TO Cheaper Portrait.
Old Uncle Ben wanted to have his
portrait painted, but he did not
care to pay very much for it.
'Surely that is very large sum,
he said when the artist named the
price.
The artist protested and assured
him that, as portraits went, that
was very little to ask.
Uncle Ben hesitated. ssWell," he
said at length, chow much will it
be if l furnish the paint ?"-Lippin-
colts.
The Expense Part.
Mr.. Bluf-Look here, young man!
You're always going about with my
daughter, and | want to know what
your intentions are regarding her?
Young Mani really have no in
tentions, sir.
Mr. Bluff (angrily)-Then what
do you mean by amusing yourself
at my daughters expense?
Young Man (airily) - I'm not
amusing myself at your daughters
expense, sir, but at my own expense.
! always pay for the theater tickets
end refreshments.
Resenting an Insult.
Some time ago the play of ssHam-
let" was performed at an English
provincial theater. In scene with
Polonius the crafty old courtier
asks, 'SDo you know me, my lord p
And the prince responds: excel
lent well. You are fshmonger."
On hearing this an old woman in
the pit stood up and, shaking her
fist, shouted excitedly: EFWell, and
s'posing he is? That's better than
play acting any day."
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13
While the government of the

While the government of the
United States is of course neu-
trail in the Russian Japanese
war, yet the sympathies of the
people of this country are over
whelmingly in favor of Japan.
The reason for this is not only
hat our sympathies naturally
20 out to the weaker party, but
also the fact that all the people
reaiize that the great power
which howers over northern
europe is synonym of agrees
sion, cruelty and oppression,
md BODIES no good for republi-
an institutions anywhere.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13

Beginning last Sunday after
noon, and raging for two days,
a terrible fire swept thru Balti-
more, and destroyed the very
heart of the business centre.
There were no lives lost, but
the property loss was greater
than even the Chicago fire.
The city will now be rebnilt
better than ever.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13
I'm Suspense.

$50 you don't know whether you
want to go to work or notY'
"Well, subj" answered Mr.. Erastus
Pinkley. ''I'd like de refusal OBJ de job
a little while" -, Fs.
'sBut l. need somebody right away"
"In dat case I'll have to let it go by.
I'ze jes' bought a policy ticket, an I'll
halter wait till aftuh de DRAWN to see
whether I'ze gwine to work at all or
nOt"-Washington Star.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13

Ortonville has already spok-
en- for the congressional dis
trict convention to select two
delegates to the Chicago con-
vention. The seventh district
has no city that is more central
than Ortonville, and with such
other attractions as the witty
editor of the Herald-Star, the
convention should certainly go
tire.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13

It will be a crime for the
powers to again step in and rob
Japan of her spoils, and while
the United States may wish to
preserve the "open door, yet
we should never be party to
such rank injustice as was
formerly wrought against ia
pan.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13

The Republican state central
committee met this week and
called the state convention to
meet in Minneapolis March II
to elect delegates at large to
the Chicago convention. Dis
triCt chairmen were also ap-
pointed to arrange for district
conventions. Stevens county
gets nine delegates to the state
convention.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13
The Horse IL Useful Even If Dead.

The Horse IL Useful Even AZ Dead.
The whale can be put to great
number of uses when dead, as can
also the horse, the various parts Of
which are utilized as follows: Hair Of
name and tail for haircloth. stufing
mattresses and making bags for crush
ing seed in oil mills, ETC.; hide and skin
tanned for leather for covering tables,
etc.; tendons used for glue and gelatin;
flesh for food for dogs, poultry and
man; fat used for lamps, etc.; intes-
tines used for covering sausages, max
ing gut strings, ETC.; heart and tongue
for food; hoofs for gelatin, prussiate,
fancy snuffboxes, etc.; bones for knife
handles, phosphorus, superphosphate
Of lime and manure; blood for manure
and shoes for reuse or for old IRON
Spare Moments bG#
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13

NJ. J. Bowling and E. J. Jones
are mentioned as delegates to
the Republican national con-
vention. Whoever is selected,
they should be Roosevelt men
of the last ditch variety.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13

Our fathers in the troublous days
Of the Revolution had no warmer or
truer friend than was Edmund
Burke, the British statesman, be-
fore whose eloquent thunder the.
proudest magnates quailed. On
April 10, 1774, he delivered in par
Lament his celebrated speech against
the unjust taxation Of the original
thirteen American colonies. On
March %, 1775, he delivered anoth-
er powerful and eloquent speech in
behalf Of the Americans, wherein he
handled the policy of the govern
ment rather severely. Nor had he
spared the king.
Upon taking his seat on this oc-
casion one Of his majesty's ministers
of finance arose to take him to task
for having cast contempt upon the
king, fancying, no doubt, that if he
could divert the attention of the
commons from the administration
to the monarch he might break the
force Of Burke's strong philippines.
Burke listened until the gentleman
had concluded, and then, addressing
the speaker in very quiet and sub
dued manner, as though the opposi-
ton he had called up was Of but
slight consequence, he said:
''Sir, the honorable gentleman
has exhibited much ardor, though
but very little discrimination. He
should know that, however ] may
reverence the king, | am not at all
inclined to extend that reverence to,
his ministers. / may honor his
majesty, but, sir, / can see no posi-
bic reason for honoring his majes-
TVS manservant, his maidservant
nor his OK a particular glance at
bis opponentl nor his ass r
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13
Then He Got Mad.

+ eyes, sir, said Mr. GALLAGHER, 1T
was funny enough to make a donkey
laugh. laughed till | cried" And
then, as he saw smile go round the
room, he grew red in the face and went
away angry.-London Tit-Bits
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY -, 1904

The st. Paul Globe is max
ing the Dunn campaign redicu-
lous. This week it came out
with a story that Collins was
about to withdraw from the
race.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13
IL : Hirher ponition.

''Me darter Nora Is. goin, to marry
Casey, that wurrucks in the basemint
iv thot buildin'. but OF do be tillin' her
that she moight hev looked higherw
'Indade q 3f m
"Yis. She cud hov bod Murphy. that
wurrucks on the top story " that same
skatscraper." Baltimore Herald.
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13

He was mumbling about tough steak
and scold coffee and making himself
generally disagreeable. \,
ts Don't growl SO over your breakfast.
John" said his wife Nobody is going
to take it away from you"
Morris tribune., 1904-02-13
Clings to hi. Misery

All" he sighed, Il was happier
when 4 was poor. . @ q
ssWell,s they answered coldly, sit IL
always possible for q man to become
poor again.
But somehow the idea did not seem
10 impress him favorahly 4 Chicago
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08
Personal MENTION.

Sol Hart was down from Portland
yesterday.
E. l. Hubbard of Salt Lake City is
in Astoria.
Frank Ward of Portland was in the
city yesterday.
Mrs. N. Burkholder of Cathlamet was
in the city yesterday.
T. S. Barr, the Grays River merchant,
came across the river yesterday.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. w. whipple have
returned from a trip to Seattle.
Robert S. Boyns was among the
Portlanders who registered yesterday
at the occident.
w. L. Ullman. the travelling repre-
sentative Of Lang & Co., was down
from Portland yesterday.
Link Burton and A. e. Hulme, we'll
known residents of Cathlamet, came
down on the Lurline yesterday after
noon.
Edgar M. Lazarus, the architect who
is experimenting the construction of
the court house, was down from Port
land yesterday.
John M. Gearin, the well-known
Portland attorney, is in the city, repre-
senting Jacob Kamm in his injunction
suit against Normand Bros.
Louis /. ostroski of Spokane, a
brother of Mrs. I. Cohen and Mrs. Her
man Wise. is in the city, visiting with
Mrs. Cohen. Mr. ostroskrs sons are
also in the city.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

Chairman Hansen Of the council pub
lIc property committee yesterday re-
ceived word from Architect schacht
that the plans for the new city hall had
not yet been completed, but would be
ready for presentation to the council at
the adjourned meeting to be held to-
night. The council must approve the
plans before the work can be under-
taken. At tonights meeting the ordi-
nance providing for the manner of max
Ing the Commercial street Improvement
win be called up FOR final passage.
Some Of the property owners are now
trying to delay the Improvement, city
officials say. but because Of the danger
Gus condition OF the street the council
will not stand for any further post
ponement.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

The regatta committee yesterday re-
ceived a letter from Admiral II. G.
Campbell OF the tenth annual regatta.
Mr.. Campbell states that Il IN his In
tention TO bring his staff and other
dignitaries down 10 Astoria on the
Bailey Gatzert and to keep the steamer
here during regatta week for the ac-
eommodation OF the admiral's party.
The Gatzert will carry several hundred
people, and. as she belongs to Mr..
campbelrs company she can be kept
here as long ~ the admiral willis. ADJ
miraI Campbell has not yet announced
his staff, but viii be In the city today
to confer with Chairman Mcbride. He
IL going over TO the beach for a few
days. but will stop In the city to talk
regatta with the committee.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

No action looking to the building Of
the county road from the end Of the
Lewis and Clark bridge to Warrenton
will be taken at once by the county
court. Roadmaster Frye reports to the
court that the cross dixie Is In such
condition that the low land is flooded,
and that planking would have to be
spiked down to keep it in place. When
the matter was brought to the atten-
ton Of the court yesterday 1t was de-
cided to recommend to the people of
the district, No. /, that they meet at
the proper time and levy a tax for
building that portion of the road ex-
tending from the end Of the bridge to
connection with the present county
road from Warrenton. The improve
ment is an important one, as it means
road connection for the entire west
side country. Under the new road law
the several districts are empowered to
make special levies, and 1t is now UP
to the people Of district No. to do
this II they want the road. The court
yesterday approved the appointment Of
$. g. Trullinger, G. zlegler and c. w.
Carnahan as deputy county clerks and
Charles H. Abercrombie as deputy dis
trict attorney. The bonds of the fol-
lowing precinct officers were approved:
A. r. Foote, justice of the peace, Oh
ney; Albert Hill, constablt, Push; will
liam schoenbeck, justice of the peace,
svensen; Nat Jones. justice Of the
peace, chadwell; P. ]. Goodman, JUS
tice Of the peace, Astoria; w. r. Hume,
Justice Of the peace. John Day; G. c.
Utzipger constable. Astoria.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

Burkes brought down the house again.
The Mcshaffreys seem to be warm
favorites and their musical speciality
Is well received. The moving pictures
are new and interesting. and. on the
whole. the performance 10 quite UP to
25-cent shows seen elsewhere. Man
ager Hedrick desires to impress upon
the public that three shows are given
each night-the first at 1880. the Sec
ond at s:so. and the last at s:so.
Matinee performances are given on
Monday, Thursday, Saturday and Sun
day Of each week. making o total Of
20 shows q week.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

The attorneys representing the par.
ties to the injunction suit of Jacot
Kamm against Normand Bros. viii pre-
sent their arguments to Judge Mcbride
this morning. and the case win be
taken under advisement by the court.
Alex Normand was on the stand yes
terday afternoon in his own behalf
When he concluded his testimony the
attorneys for the defendants. @. C. Full
ton and John II. Smith. announced
that they would rest their case. They
had several other witnesses, but prob
ably considered that they had made
out as strong showing as possible.
Some interesting evidence was adduced
at the trial. Norris Staples, Moore
Bros, Olsen Bros. Bremner and John
Yeon, ali prominent loggers. testified
during the hearing that the north fork
OF the Chskanine was quite as valu.
able for logging purposes as Youngs
river, and superior to the Necanicum
and the Lewis and Clark. Should the
court declare the north fork unnavi-
gable. all OF the streams of Clatsop
county will be closed for logging op-
erations," said one Of the attorneys
yesterday. The case is therefore one
Of great Importance and is attracting
much attention. Yesterday afternoon
Alex Normand testified that less water
was required to float spruce logs than
fir logs of the same size. Spruce is the
lightest Of all timber. fir is the next
lightest, while hemlock is so heavy
that 1t will not float except when the
butt end Of the tree is cut off.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

Sundays ball game az A. r. c. park
viii be the event Of the season, and
fans at all lower Columbia river points
will await the outcome with impatience.
T'ne best players Of oil tho teams on
the lower river win combine under the
warrenton colors and try conclusions
with the Commercial club team. In
view Of the fact that the clubmen
stand a good chance 10 be defeated.
they are practicing faithfully. and hope
to put up an exhibition OF ball that
win be too much for the all-star ag-
gregation. The game viii be called at
the usual hour-2:30.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

From the crowd which jammed the
streets near Hedrlek's last night one
Would have surmised the president was
in the theater. There was an entire
change OF bill and people fiocked to
the new playhouse by the hundreds.
The performance was pronounced ex-
ceptIonally fine by all those who at
tended last evening. Harry De Lain
appeared IN an old-maid turn that IL
positively killing. and the Juggling
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

The contract for the improvement of
Duane street from Fourteenth to Sew
enteenth street win doubtless be award
ed at the next regular meeting Of the
council. Bids win be advertised for
in few days and the street committee
viii consider them prior TO the time OF
the meeting. The estimate Of the cost
OF the Improvement is sss7s. The street
is to be OF macadam where It extends
over solid ground. and the cement walks
are to be six feet In width, or one foot
wider than the other cement walks that
have lately been put down. Duane
street will open up that section OF the
city between Commercial and Ex-
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

The action OF the council In instruct
Ing Street Superintendent Kearney to
fence of Exchange street between Six
teenth and Eighteenth has brought the
interested property owners to time. and
a petition for improvement OF the street
is now being circulated. The super
intendent was asked TO refrain from
carrying out the councils instructions
for a day or two. until the matter could
be reported to the council at its ad-
journed session tonight. This Mr..
Kearney agreed to do. although he
took the precaution Of instructing
teamsters 10 not haul heavy loads on
the street. II Is expected that the
petition Tor the Improvement win be
presented to the council this evening.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

Arrangements for the lacrosse game
have been completed by the regatta
committee. The contesting teams will
represent New Westminster. u. c.. and
Portland. and they win play on the
afternoon OF August go. when the big
field meet win be held. From a spec
tacular point OF view. lacrosse is even
more interesting than the great game
Of football. so the event win In itself
prove an attraction that viii bring
large crowd to Astoria for the meet.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08
SUNDAY EXCURSION.

Steamer Nahcotta leaves at a. M,
July 10, connecting with trains
at Ilwaco for points along the beach.
S1.0O round trip. Returning, leaves IL
waco $3.50 p. m. Tickets good return
ing ON steamer Potter leaving nwaco
1880 p. m. G. w. ROBERTS,
Agent o. r. & N. Co.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

change, and. as It will run past the
city hall location, IT'S Improvement has
been 10 arranged that the property
owners viii not be compelled to pay for
the work until next year Several cost
ly improvements have been made in
that neIghborhood of late. and the
council is anxious to make matters as
easy as possible for the taxpayers.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

Subscribers for The Astorlan and
other papers complain frequently that
they do not get their papers. and at
tribute the circumstance to the opera
tIon OF paper thieves. The Astorian
will pay s2S for information that will
lead to the arrest and conviction Of
anyone stealing copy OF the paper,
and is ANXIOUS that someone shall earn
the reward.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

Mayor surprenant yesterday signed
all OF tho ordinances passed at the last
session OF the council. as well IA the
warrants drawn for claims ordered
paid. The warrants are now ready Tor
delivery.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08
Bids for Heating Building.

Bids for installing the steam heat
ing apparatus and ventilation system
were received as follows:
Brady & Sherret, Portland. 49,. .sSSS6
w. N. Smith. Astoria ............ $3.50
s. H. willett, Astoria ............ 1885
Gardner & Kendall. Portland -. $3.50
John A. Montgomery. Astoria. -. s1OO
w. c. Laws & Co., Astoria. $500. 456O
The bid Of Laws & Co. was not ac-
companied by certified check. as pro-
vided, and therefore was thrown out.
One bid was received for plastering the
building-that Of John F. Shea OF Port
land. who offers to do the work for
s31sl.
The court also took under considera-
tion the bids for heating the building
and will act upon them at later date.
The work of hauling crushed rock
for the cocrt house foundation is still
under way, but it win be some time
yet before the walls OF the basement
are raised.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08
Local BreyItieS.

Have you noticed the Fourth Of July
views In Bella show window. taken by
pelserf II not, do not forget a. you
pass TO examine them. what's that +?
oh! 80 cents copy.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

The British steamship Totenham,
which arrived Wednesday night from
Port Los Angeles, left up the river
yesterday. The Tottenham comes In
ballast and win load al Portland
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

The steamship Costa Rica departed
yesterday for San Francisco. She took
on at Astoria q large quantity OF
shocks. oysters and cheese. The
steamer Chico arrived from San Fran
cisco with miscellaneous cargo, the
principal item on her manifest being
1000 sacks OF cement.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08
BIDS FOR COURT HOUSE
HAVE BEEN SUBMITTED.
Tsnders Opened Yesterday by County
Court L5wsr Than Anticipated,
Being Less Than 100000.

At yesterdays session Of the county
court bids were received and made
public upon the construction Of the
new court house. -Four tenders were
received. and with one exception all
were close to the estimate. The high
est bid was submitted by James Mar
shall OF Portland, whose certified check
was returned to him during the after
noon The bids were as follows for a
building such as is provided for In the
plans and specifications:
Langford 4 Walker, Portland. 3 $4,000
Ferguson & Houston, ASTORIA. 112,sO0
HASTE G. Dugan, Spokane. 49,. s7,351
James Marshall. Portland. ~. 124.ess
Langford Il Walker agree to erect .
building OF Tenino stone for Sss,5oo.
They ask 10 months In which to COM
plete the contract.
Ferguson & Houston agree TO erect
a building entirely OF local stone for
s1o2.7oo They want is months in
which to complete the work. Marshall
specified 275 working days as the time
in which to finish the contract, and
HASTE Il Dugan specified IL inonths.
The court did not reach decision In
the matter yesterday, but took the bids
under adyisement. At todays session
Of the court the tenders win be con-
sIdered, but whether or not the con-
tract will be awarded was not stated
yesterday. Members OF the court were
surprised to find the bids 80 low, nearly
Iall being within a small amount OF the
estimate Of the architect--$i00,00 1000.
The specifications upon which the
contractors submitted figures called for
the construction OF building 120xse
feet, of two stories and basement, the
basement to be of stone and the upper
portion Of the building to be OF terra
Gotta and brick. Two Of the firms
bidding submitted offers for the con-
struction OF a building Of stone. and
the court Is now trying to decide which
method OF construction Will be the best
to employ.
The bid of the Spokane firm for the
building provided for in the specihca-
tions Ii lowest. while that OF Langford
& Walker for stone structure is low
est.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-07-08

The beer that made Milwaukee FAM
Oas-schlitz--is always on draught at
The Grotto. Otto Mikkelson. proprie-
tor.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-03-16

instrumental solo-Charot Race Maude o Brien
Recitation How the Dmples Came Alta Crigsby
Vocal solo-"Mr Policeman Bonita HUGHES
Dialogue Fortunes Wheel Misses True Durln
Instrumental Solo The Minstrel and Day
Recitation-"The Careful Messenger" Lena O'Bren
Chorus-"The Wearin' Of the Green" School
Dialogue Two Of Masers Duffy aud Hughes
Instrumental soo-"Convent Bells Monte Cngsby
Recitation"The Church Organ. Cenoveve shauahnessy
chorus-"Red White and Blue School
DalogueTh -Four Celebrated Characters Misses ehnessy
OBnen Hughes and Crigsby
Instrumental Solo, March" Una Luna
Recitation Thanksgiving Street NJ Ian1in
Vocal Solo Kathleen Mavourneen Rev Urban de Hasque
Daogue"A Slight Misunderstanding Msses Tayr and Tiulev
instrumental Spinning Wheel Censse shauehnessv
Rectaion-'Ias Hymn Misses Durland and shaugtnessv
Vocal solo-"Twlight Stealing" l. Iones
Recitation Little Mischief Bonita Hughes
chorus-"The Harp Through Tara's Raut school
Dialogue-Bo Peeps Lost Sheep" Misses Little Girls
Song-'Motion Song" Lille Girls
Reciiation-'An Exile from Erin Lena 0,Kerev
Vocal solo-''Noreen Mavourneen Mildred shauobnessv
Dalogue-'No Care No Pay young Ladies
instrumental soo-"M Midnight Alarm" NJ o,Buen
Dialogue-'Trials of Teacher Luna g. Gum
Vocal Soo'Titte Black Me- v-;un. nerland
Recitaiion-"Kae Shelly" e,si Trne
Instrumental Solo-tNerry Hussars lena Root
dialogue Alter School WhaR' Young Ladies
ecaton BY Misses Fischer Cunn afn Scarce and Burke