davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progress., 1904-10-01
UP-To-DATE DEFINITIONS.
Selections Which Are Indicative Of
the Progress Of Modern
Thought.

From the proof sheets of the new die
tionary the Pittsburg Dispatch quotes the
following:
Peach-A small, domestic fruit, pink in
early spring, tied up with blue ribbon and
. dimple.
Bore-One who talks about his own af.
fairs instead of letting you talk about yours.
Uppers--An article of wearing apparel
much in use among independent thinkers.
Christopher Columbus-A bad medicine
man, much cursed on Mulberry street.
Symposium-A collection Of wise plati-
tudes by the same old offoaders.
Womanly Woman-One!who thinks it is
very. good Of men to furnish her with her
opinions ready made.
A, Conservative-A person possessed Of
nSble and continuous solicitude for the
foundations Of Society and The Home.
Modern Drama--An obscure form Of lit
erature recklessly Indifferent to Mother,
Home and Heaven.
Latchkey-A curious talisman employed
late in the nineteenth century - symbol
Of female independence; research seems to
indicate that it passed out of use because
Of the absence of pockets in which to carryit.
The progress., 1904-10-01
cOLoRS NOT EASY TO SEE
Experiments in England Have Shown
Dull Masses to Be Dangerous
in the Field.

What color is least easily seen at a
distance? One would naturally say,
some dull neutral tint, somber gray
Or brown, says Success This has been
The conclusion of most military men,
and our brilliant dress uniforms have
given way for practical campaigning
% khaki and other dull colors. Is this
mistake? Possibly so, according to
he results obtained in recent expert
nents in England. It has been found
there that masses of dull color are
very much more conspicuous at a dis
ance than mixtures of bright tints.
Tor instance, battery of field artil-
cry whose carriages and caissons we're
decorated witt. stripes of red, blue and
FELLOW could be made out with difi1-
,ulty at a thousand yards, while other
batteries painted a uniform brown or
irab were easily seen at great dis
!ances. II would seem as If. on the
same principle. a regiment of gayly
iressed troops might be less easily Wis
Ible than one wholly garbed In dull
,olored khaki.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Voice from Arkansas.

Cleveland, Ark, August Is Especially
Nearly every newspaper tells Of some won
derfui cure of some form Of Kidney Disease
by the Great American Remedy, Dodd..s
Kidney Pills, and this part Of Arkansas is
lot without its share Of evidence that no
case is too deeply rooted for Dodds Kidney
Pills to cure.
Mr.. A. E. Carlile we'll known and highly
respected here, tells of his cure after nearly
a quarter of . century's suffering. Mr..
Il want to let the public know what l
think of Dodd's Kidney Pills. / think they
are the best remedy for sick kidneys ever
Il had Kidney Trouble for % years and
never found anything that. did me SO much
good as Dodd's Kidney Pills. Irecommend
them to all sufferers"
There is no uncertain sound about Mr
Carlile's statement. He knows that Dodd,s
Kidney Pills rescued him from life OF sui
fering and he wants the public to know it.
Dodd's Kidney Pills cure all Kidney ills
from Backache to Bright's Disease.
The progress., 1904-10-01
CAUSE OF BAD LANGUAGE.
Natural Desire to Impart Vigorous
and Picturesque Touch to
the Narrative.

A correspondent of the Pail Mall Ga
.ette gives an analysis of converse
ion in a railway train which should
lrouse the advocates of clean speech to
/ new crusade against bad language
He states that navy, in explaining
TO friend that, owing to misdirec-
ion by a porter, he had missed q
quicker train, made use of 56 "unpar-
iamentary" expressions:
Seventeen adjectives of lurid hue.
Five appeals to the Almighty.
Two invocations that his own eye
sight might be destroyed.
Three invocations upon the eyes of
he referred official.
Seven iterations of the name of the
nfernal regions.
One side issue. necessitating the
lame of the Messiah.
Seventeen adjectives of simple OBJ
icenity.
Four expletives of an unclassified
nature.
A clergyman who has lived much
among working men said that the rea-
ION why working men so often make
Use of strong" language is "the natu-
al and laudable desire of the speaker
% impart a vigor and picturesque
ouch to his narrative.
"The probability is that both Car
yle and Mr.. Kipling would have been
labitual users of very bad language
,ut. for the saving grace Of education.
Carlyle 'dredged the dictionary for ad-
iectives to express his meaning. and
Mr.. Kipling invents a word when he
wants to strike you with the weight
If six-fold blow
"The working man never learns
1.-THE of the excessive adjectives and
ldverbs that abound in the language.
But his soul bankers after something
more virile than very and extremely
md in his meritorious but unlearned
,ndeavor to be picturesque he falls
nto the error of profanity. Teach the
man his own language in the
board schools and bad language will
disappear.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Starting a Race in Missouri.


The starter of the running races al
Joplin is a big. black negro. He has
created much amusement in getting
the horses of.
A half dozen or more attempts were
made, when the negro's patience be-
came exhausted. Most of the jockeys
were negroes, and as q final warning
to one who persisted in swapping the
rubber before the others were ready he
said: "Nigger, II you does dat again
I'll come out dar and knock you on
dat hoss." and he exhibited a good
sized stick. attached to the end of .
rope, which he commenced to unwind.
The exhibit of the stick had its eff
feet Joplin Nsws-Herald.
The progress., 1904-10-01

a general and killing absorption IN
tie business Of life was once the. &C.
c(Dted theory Of American activity. n
Is true that there Is still tremenQOg
stress shown by Americans In the puf-
suit not only d their business vocations
bufsof their social avocations. Yet the
bu1Ihess mans summer vacation ID get
ting TO be more and more an accepted
institution, says an. editorial In Cen
turX Hemanages to get longer periods
Of complete rest and recreation, and he
contrivss, moreover, Il. seize upo4 any
numb Of half-h0liesye and over-Sun-
day bhtingE especially In the warmer
months. When he cap control his
he gives greater portions OF 1t tbanever
before to horsebask skexercise ana TO gon
and kindred sports, fFhe business mans
family, instead. Sf hfing> satisfied as OF
old, with few weeRs In q crowded hotsS
by the sea or in the mountainS spene
the whole summer In the country, as
boarders in hotel or farmhouse, or as
6wellers In country placeOf their own,
modest or sumptuous, in accordance
with their means and taste.
The city mans modern discovery OF
the country and his increasing use OF
1t in the summer months has been
subject of comment now these many
years There has been discussion OF us
The progress., 1904-10-01
One Hope Left.

Manager hate TO say it, but the
public seems to have lost interest in
you.
Old Actor-'Tis true; too true. But I
can easily disguise myself, and If you
will kindly announce me as an ex-
burglar, green-goods man or pugilist,
wen take the TOWN.. Y. Weekly.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Raspine Retort.

my ancestors came over in the Mayflow-
er," said the young woman who boasts.
Eyes" answered Mrs. Packinham, of Chi
cago; II understand that travel was very
cheap on that boat. ."-Washington Star.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Greater Love.

she was engaged to millionaire'
but she jjilted him to marry another
man"
"Ab, So she's really marrying for
lover"
For love of money, yes. The other
mans a multi ti-millionaire. ."-Philadel-
phia Press.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Suspicious Signs.

Agent--My dear lady, have here rem
edy that will absolutely cure your husband
of the alcoholic habit. Drop little in his
coffee
Lady Of the House with indignation)-
Who told you my husband drinks?
"No one. l saw that n the halo Of
scratches around the keyhole in the front
door. r."-Youngstown Telegram.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Going One Better.

Mamma-Sometimes there are rude
little boys inschurch who giggle and
smile at the girls. and some of the little
girls smile back atthem; but hope my
little girl does notbehave like that.
Little Girl-No. indeed. mamma; I
always put my tongue out at them
Ally Sloper-
The progress., 1904-10-01
Insult to Injury.

Farmer Greene-So thar want nuthin'
but sawdust in tn satchel when ye got
1t home. hey,
Farmer Medders-Why, tn Internal
bunko man didn't even hev tn decency
TO put In sawdust! He had 1t filed up
with breakfast food, b'gosh!-Puck.
The progress., 1904-10-01
TULANE UNIVERSITY
OF LOUISIANA
NEW oRLmANa.

Full courses in Languages, Sciences, Engineer.
ing, Law, Medicine. Splendid department fer
women in Newcomb College. Tulane makes
leaders in all vocations. Its facilities for In
struction in Engineering are unsurpassed. Un.
excelled opportunities Tor the study of Sugar
Chemistry. Expenses low. Board and accom-
mediation in fine dormitories At low rates. Op
portunities Afforded academic students for self
help Next SESSION BEGINS OcroBER 1sr. SENn
FOR CarALoouE AND ILLUSTRATED CIRCULAR.
Address THE PRESIDENT.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Think Il Over.

Prander !st Matthews .s VA - a. the phone tn ths
was to sail the next day for Europe.
II sail tomorrow on the Celtic" came
over the wire, the steamships name being
pronounced "keltic"
you'd better pronounce that Settle" re-
piled the professor of bellies lettres. If you
don't you'll be having hard seas all the way
over, IN, Y. Times.
The progress., 1904-10-01
The Idea.

Conductor (astonished)-You only
gave me eight cents. madam. The fare
for you and the old gent is ten cents.
Lady Gndignantly)-I gave you the
correct fare. This old gentleman ls In
his second childhood.
The progress., 1904-10-01

IL can't imagine how you can dislike
work; to me it's real enjoyment" said
the fathersto his lazy son.
"Yes, father" was the guileless re-
sponse, "but | don't want to give my
self UP wholly to pleasure. ."-Tit-Bits.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Phrase Explained.

Father" said the small boy. what
DO they mean when they say that peo-
pie operate on margins In the stock
maSket?"
MY son." was the answer, "it gen.
orally mems that they are being kept
on the ragged edge."-Washington
Star.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Not Necessary.

Enthusiast-Did you ever hear OF
such a thing as winning battle with
out firing a shot?
Philosopher-Well, my wife usual?
wins, and she doesn't use a gun,
either.-Detroit Free Press.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Asked and Answered.

"How would vou like to live in
fat. my dear?" asked the husband.
mot at ALL" snapped the other half
of the matrimonial combine, living
with one is bad enough.
Enquirer.
The progress., 1904-10-01

One of the largest and most noticeable
business signs seen anywhere is that of the
National Casket Co. on their mammoth new
factory at Nashville, Tenn, made on wire
frame with aluminium letters six feet high
and one hundred feet long, which can be read
from long distance by day, and, where re-
produced in electric lights, can be read even
further at night.
This is The concern that is called on to fur
nish caskets for the most prominent people
everywhere, including among its recent or
ders, caskets for Presidents William Mckin-
ley, Benjamin Harrison and the late lament
ed Gen. John B. Gordon, and yet, whose
goods can be had through the smallest un-
dertaker in every town.
From the fact that they are called on to
furnish caskets for the best citizens every
where, there must be some merit in their
claim that their goods are the best, and the
south should be proud to have branch of
such high-class establishment within her
borders.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Room at the Top.

What strides these vulgar trades
men do make. A few years ago
man lived here who was an orSinerv
butcher, and to-day he is my fathe
in-lawi'-Tit-Bits.
The progress., 1904-10-01
A Matter Of Outlines.

Ethel-I'd hate awfully to be as intel.
lectual as some people.
Virginia-Why?
Ethel-Oh, l think bulgy forehead
would be hideous- on a girl.-1ndianar-
oils Journal.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Hard to Understand.

II have always been a reader Of your
poetry" began Mrs: Gushe.
81 am glad" replied Algernon Charles
Mystic. that some one understands me-.
"Oh, but that is what have been hoping
to meet you for. wanted you to explain"
-Pittsburg Press.
The progress., 1904-10-01

Hewitt-what is the best Business
90 which youns ral can give tis
Gs:essi-l,
Jewe;- His o~n.-HaTrer Bazar-
The progress., 1904-10-01

"Yes," said the teacher, you must, al
ways remember that all liars will have their
portion in the lake that burneth with fire
and birthstone" The little scholar looked
thoughtful. Suddenly he exclaimed That
settles paws hash; he goes fishin' twice a
ek!"-Atlanta Constitution.
The progress., 1904-10-01

Church-The average man Mixes to sit
idly and see some other man do all the
work.
Gotham-Why is 1t, then. that me- re
men don't 60 to church?-Yonkers
Statesman.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Also 1t.

Some .5olish persons always answer
one question by asking another
Why Go they. Iwonder?'-Indianap-
oils Journal.
The progress., 1904-10-01

The woman Q man may occasionally BE-
brought to acknowledge a. his mental equal
llwsys sympathises with bis love for base
lost in poker.-Philsdelph Ledger
The progress., 1904-10-01

News is by no means literature. Newsis
what yesterdays paper aroused curiosity
about, while literature is device for separ-
ating head pieces from ail-pieces.-Puck.
The progress., 1904-10-01

Fits stopped free and permanently cured.
No fits after first days use of DR.. Kline 3
Great Nerve Restorer. Free 50 trial bottle &
treatise. DR.. Kline, 93l Arch st., Phila., Pa.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Might Grow Out of It.

Fond Mother-Are you not somewhat
ss;ouished at my daughters singing?
protessor-I certainly am Bui 'fta
she is young yet.-Illustrsted BITS
The progress., 1904-10-01

BiIl-what co you consider the great
est evil of the tire2
Jill--That alarm eloni o. 80
Yonkers Statesman.
The progress., 1904-10-01

Att st. Louis Exposition, which is very
severe upon the feet, rememberto take along
abox of Aliens Foot. Ease, a powder for Hot,
Tired. Aching, Swollen Feet Sold by all
druggists, 25c. Don't accept q substitute.
The progress., 1904-10-01

am sure Piso's Cure for Consumption
sayed my lite three years F ago.Nhfs;o y Iooo Iho'
The progress., 1904-10-01
Extravagant Affair,

Molly" he said, 'if l should die first
want you to see that I'm cremated."
Mercy on us, John! Coal may be ten
dollars ton, then. n."-Atlanta Constitution.
The progress., 1904-10-01
Appreciation.

II am afraid you are one Of these people
who look down on toll"
mot at ALL" answered the luxurious
youth. my great grandfather worked hard
and invested his money, and We are quite
pleased with him for doing so."-Detroit
Free Press.
The progress., 1904-10-01

When a friend tells you of his wrongs
he wants sympathy and not an argu-
ment.-Atchison Globe
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1904-03-02
Confusion Of a Poor Young Man.

One of the most amusing stories
told OF the tact and kindness of Mis-
tress Dolly Madison is of country
lad who CHANGED to be present at one
OF the White house receptions, and
was surprised in the midst of his en-
Joynent Of a cup of coffee by the APP
proach OF his hostess. In his confus-
Ion the poor boy dropped his saucer
and thrust the cup into his pocket.
Mistress Dolly, who, although her
eyes were keen and searching, never
saw anything that It was not intended
she should see, chatted away with her
guest so pleasantly OF the weather. the
crowd, and, finally of the young mans
mother, whom she had known or
heard OF, and was soon at ease and
ready to accept the fresh cup of cot
Zee which his hostess ordered, despite
a certain curious and unexplained
pslse In his pocket.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1904-03-02

Early one morning, when the crocus-
es, tulips and daffodils were vieing
with one another in their gaudy raj
ment, a delivery wagon stopped before
the garden gate, at the Gorham home
stead
A bright, new bicycle was lifted out
and taken to the side entrance. Doris
Gorham stood in the door mixing some
feed for the chickens. When she saw
what was coming, her heart thumped
like a trip-hammer.
Her older sister, Lorinda, who was
sitting on the steps pairing apples,
started as though she had received
blow, when the wheel was placed be-
side her on the stoop
$50, Doris" she began, sarcastically,
without looking up from her work,
you've thrown your money away on
this device of the devil. If you'd only
taken it when other people did, thered
be some excuse for it, but from child
you've always showed such perverse-
ness"
But then, Lorinda, bicycles were
too expensive" began Doris. Her Sis
ter paid no attention to the Interrupt
/ ton, but exclaimed as she flounced
into the house:
Powers of mercy! A woman o!
your age. with hair as specified as the
black and white spotted hen, ridin
such an instrument of torture and a
real menace to morality, and" the
slamming of the screen door finished
the sentence.
A few years before the opening OF
this story, Waverly had grown so rap
idly after the building of the great
steel plant, that the three maiden sis.
tiers, living in the comfortable farm
house on the ridge road awoke one
morning to find their property was
within the city limits.
This is a pretty kettle Of fish," said
Lorinda, the eluest, reading the noti-
fication. How are we to pay the paw
| ing tax and Improvement" she asked
sharply with her little. swapping, black
eyes on the serious faces of her
younger sisters.
"Cut the meadow up into city lots"
spoke up Eunice, the second and prac-
teal sister.
This suggestion seemed to meet
with the older woman's approval.
Doris remained silent, but was as con
scious of what Lorinda would say next
as though she herself was to voice the
thought.
well, we'll take our usual vote on
It. All in favor of sellin the meadow
off in lots say yes" Eunice and 10,
rinda fairly shouted the necessary
word.
Majority rules" quickly said the
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1904-03-02
How Children Can Help.

The children of the Princess Of
Wales are much interested in sort
Of charity which might engage the
attention of American children.
They belong to 1.-THE Happy Even
ings Association" Of London, the pur-
pose of which is to provide pleasant
playrooms In different parts of the
London slums, where the unhappy
little ones who have no homes worth
the name may play at will with no one
to say "Hush!" OF otherwise curb their
merriment.
A great many toys and dolls are
given for their amusement, and num-
bers of these are sent by the little
ones of England's royal family. There
are Indian dolls, dolls from Ireland.
dolls in Russian costumes, and in
quaint Welsh high hats, baby dolls
and mother dolls. nurse dolls in cap
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1904-03-02
A Hat and a Coin.

A very neat trick may be performed
with hat and silver quarter. The
quarter may be brand new, Just from
the mint, but the hat had better be
an old one. or at least one that its
owner is not very particular about.
for it is likely to get little rough
handling.
1t must be of the pattern known
as "stovepipe," either silk or
beaver. Lay it on It's side on top
of glass tumbler, and on the upper
side of the hat place the quarter.
Now, what you wish the company to
10 is to knock the hat from under the
quarter so that the latter will fall into
the tumbler.
Every one that tries 1t will be sure
to strike the hat on it's brim, but
that will only send it across the room
and the quarter somewhere on the
floor.
When the feat has been pronounced
impossible, you make a few feints, as
II you. too, were going to strike II
on the brim. and then suddenly you
give 1t q smart tap on the inside OF
the crown, when 1t will jump quickly
out and let the coin fall directly down
into the tumbler.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1904-03-02

breaking the tenth commandment, had
prayed hard for fortitude and grace.
but phantom Seth had been her con-
slant companion, whether she would
or not-although, when, as neighbors,
they met occasionally, they barely
passed the time of day, and since his
wife's death, the old lovers had seen
nothing of each other.
In the evening of the eventful day
in the Gorham house, Doris in dress
reduced in rank to bicycle skirt,
passed stealthily down the gravel walk
and noiselessly up to n quiet, little
street recently macadamized, where
she determined to learn to ride the
unmanageable thing she was leading.
Her method was. indeed, original.
With her left foot on the pedal and
her right one on the curbstone. she
propelled herself. reversing the posi-
ton occasionally, or, as she put 1t,
''limbering up one leg at a time"
The quaint little woman soon gained
confidence and was able to wheel
down the steep hill at the end of the
street without any mishaps.
Just before starting for home as
she held the handle-bar like a wise
and rode slowly down the incline, she
was suddenly showed in such man
ner that the wheel seemed to take
the bit and have its way.
"Wherere you going?" yelled a
hoarse voice, as someone wheeled by
her,
Where you've sent me, | reckon"
answered Doris not daring to look
up and following her leader at ter
rife speed.
Reaching the foot Of the hill, she
| overlook and ran down the wheelman.
As the rider eXtricated himself. and
assisted the little, old maid to her
feet, he exclaimed, overcome with as
constituent:
Doris Gorham. III be blamed IL It
! amt"
! The lady, finding she was still in
tact-standing in the gaslight on the
pavement, and not riding in a winged
chariot-looked up into the eyes OF
her old lover, Seth Watson.
For a second Doris was more an
! noyed than surprised at finding her
idol of quarter OF century riding a
wheel at his time of life. Then she
blushed, as she remembered that there
was only two years difference in their
ages. Conscious OF each others EN-.
barrassment they sat down on a near.
by pile of lumber, while Seth apparent.
ly looked over the damaged wheels
well, Doris. it's nigh onto Ave and
twenty years since you and decided
to pedal alone came timidly from the
bowed gray read
Eyes, and our meetings at the cross
roads haven't been any too pleasant, y
snapped Doris, who felt uneomforta,
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1904-03-02
Opposing Players Come Together.

opposing Prayers como toqetheT'
or selzes any part of her dress, she is
"out" and must stop playing.
Players from both sides are con
tinually getting "out" and at the end
there are, as rule, only few left:
Several girls can combine to push
one player over the "out" line and this
gives a chance for team work." which
you can safely render very effective.
The game is not rough one owing
TO the rules against using the hands,
and dresses do not get torn nor soiled.
It is game of skill rather than
strength, for nimble girl who is a
good hopper" can easily force less
skilful opponent to put her left foot
on the ground to avoid being showed
backward. II is very exciting and a
splendid exercise and the players do
not get thrown down or injured, for
one can always save ones self by put
ting ones foot to the ground.
The game is designed especially for
girls of from ten to thirteen years
for the young ladies Of seventeen OF
so feel too grown up" to go about hop
ping on one foot.