Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1904-08-26

'ouhs phs siclan Wnal sign 10 put on
his door. replied: The smallest few
ers gratefully received"
Mrs. Smlth-My husband has been
enjoying very poor health of late
Mrs. Brown-How fortunate that he
can enjoy it, Very few people do,
\ Juryman being asked by the
judge II he ever read the papers. re-
piled: Yes, your honor; but if you'll
let me go this time. I'll never do SO
any more.
fauence-See how yellow her hair
Is, and 1t used to be brown. Patrice
Yes; she's been using one of those
yellow journals to make curl papers.
-ionkers Statesman.
lie had play produced by an
amateur company the other night, |
believe. Who was the hero OF II, do
you know" II was one. | sat
through Philadelphia Ledger.
A little Maine girl came TO her
mother one morning and said; Mann
ma, don't feel very we'll" well.
that's too bad" said mamma; where
do you feel the worstf" in school,"
was the prompt reply
An elephant must be pretty ex.
pensiye animal" Yes, | wish | had
enough money to buy one" What
DO you want with an elephant?' II
don't. | merely expressed wish for
the money. Philadelphia Press.
She tangrily)-Sir, | understand you
said had a face that would stop
clock. He (calmly)-So | did. Any
weli-regulated clock would pause and
hold up its hands In admiration at
sight of your lovely face.-St Louis
Star
Husband (who had been out West
on business. and left his wife some
blank checks)-Mary,. find you have
considerably overdrawn at the bank.
Mary-Nonsense. John, how can that
be? I've two of those blank checks
left yet
Mrs. Jenks-Are you perfectly sat
isfied with your new dress? Mrs.
Speitz-Yes, indeed. The man | love
best thinks it's beautiful, and the
woman | love least has pretended to
turn up her nose at Philadelphia
Ledger.
A cowardly fellow, having kicked a
newsboy for pestering him to buy an
evening newspaper, the lad waited till
another boy accosted the gentleman.
and then shouted in the hearing of the
bystanders: ITS no use to try him,
Jim, he can't read"
Sometimes" said the poet. Il am
almost afraid that | take myself too
seriously" 'Oh, well, never mind"
replied his kind-hearted friend,
there's no harm done IL you do
Every body else regards you as a
joke. Record Herald
Here is a peculiar advertisement
which recently appeared in Brisbane
paper: ermanent.-Wanted man
to look after one horse and a few
cows and pigs. One who can impart
the rudiments of French. singing and
the piano to children preferred
I'D like to have your check for that
little midnight supper | served at
your house last MONTH" said the
caterer. You'll have to wait until
get the Doctors bill for curing me of
indigestion" replied the victim. That
comes of your bill. ll."-Philadelphia
Press.
Il know what you've come here
for" said little Willie; you're going
to ask my sister to be your wife"
oh! Why do you think so?" "'Cause
l heard her telln' ma she was goin
to git you in a corner tonight and
make you say it."-Chlcago Record
Herald.
Moose Meadow Sheriff-Yes, that's
Spike Moran, alias Big Eddy, alias
Jim Thornton, alias Kid McDuff He's
a burglar Stranger-But why do you
let him live heref Sherlff-Jest to fat
up the census. We put him in the
directory under each name. you see.
Judge
Don't be too quick to strike an-
other, my boy" said the kindly old
man, who had interrupted the fight;
always count ten before you do it,
and then" "Yeh," replied the
boy, contemptuously. "an' den it'll be
de referee dat'll be countln' ten on
you Philadelphia Press.
Jennie's mother was expecting com
pany. but just before train time
telegram arrived which read: Missed
train. WIN start at same time to-
morrow" Jennie rushed home from
school expecting TO see the guest. bur
instead was shown the message. Aft
er reading it laboriously and careful
ly through, she exclaimed: why,
mamma, if she starts at the same time
tomorrow, she, will smiss .sihe .. train
again" -.
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