davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04

Once there was mana real, flesh
and blood man-who made fun of his
wife's cooking.
IL believe | could get up better
meal than this myself. Arabella," he
said.
81 am glad to hear it." she replied.
You may get up the meals yourself
hereafter. | won't"
Since which time they have been TAX
Ing their meals at restaurant.
Woman's emancipation depends up
on her ability to seize the right mo
mont Chicago Tribune.
Too Late.
Daniel Webster used to tell n story
about an OLD woman who was very i'll
alJ went into Il trance. They all
thought she was dead. and when she
opened her eyes her husband said in
surprised tone why, Mandy, we
thought yc wuz dead" The poor old
woman looked at her husband a mo-
mcnt. and then she burst into tears.
And yc never buwled bit" she
sobbed "Yc thought | wuz dead, and
yer eyes WIZ dry. Couldn't We have
baWIud little bit, JabezY' The old
man was deeply moved, and he did ac-
tually bawl then. But his wife said
sadly. "Its too late now. Dry yer
eyes. If I'd re-tIIy been dead and ye'd
bawled 'twuuld have done me some
good. But it's tao late now"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
HOW STEPHENS ESCAPED.
Fhe Daring Plot by Which the Feni-
mn Leader Was Etrncued.

Fhe Daring Plot by Which the Feni-
an Leader Was Gt-ncucd.
Among the thrilling stories Of es-
capes from Jail that of James Ste
phens, the head and front of the Fe-
nian brotherhood in Ireland in 1865,
from Richmond prison, Dublin, has
place. Two men were chiefly concern
ed In the affair, one named Breslin, the
hospital warden, and the other Byrne,
a night watchman. Breslin procured
an impression of the key which opened
Stephens cell and which always hung
on q nail in the governors safe. He
had TO distract the governors atten-
ton, steal the key, at the same time
putting another In its place, get the
impression and then return the key to
its nail
The time came for making the eS-
cape, and the few moments were all
too short. 1t was dark night, and
the storm howled furiously. Most dis
couraging of all, the ladder provided
for scaling the we'll proved too short.
This fact seemed to promise absolute
disaster. The wall was twenty feet
high, and Stephens could not possibly
reach its top. Dreslin in an agony OF
haste brought table from the dining
room and placed the ladder on it. 1t
was still too short, and the prisoner
had 10 descend again.
The rescuers, who were in as great
danger as the prisoner, grew almost
wild with apprehension. Another table
was procured, and again Stephens
made the ascent and this time, after a
desperate struggle, succeeded in get
ting outside the wall Once there he
had to jump twenty feet into the dark
ness, having no idea where he should
land or whether II would be with bro
ken limbs or neck. He let go his hold
OF the wall and fell, fortunately strik
ing soft ground Meanwhile Byrne and
Breslin had been obliged to return TO
their duties. Stephens now found him
self In a garden surrounded by another
wall twenty feet high.
Over this wall Brcslin had told him
TO throw a stone as n signal to eleven
armed men who were waiting outside
TO receive MIN. NOW score OF small
er difficulties beset him. He could not
find the garden walls and groped
about I'm vain for n stone At length
he reached the wall and threw over
handful of gravel, whereupon a rope
with weight attached was tossed
over to him. He quickly climbed the
wall and soon found himself IN the
arms OF his joyful bodyguard, who
conducted him to a house within sight
of the Jail, where he remained four
teen days.
He afterward went to a fashionable
boarding house in the finest part Of
Dublin and spent two months and
finally. when the hue and cry for his
capture had somewhat subsided, took
ship from ireland.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
His Little Bill.

When Brander Matthews went TO his
club one evening, according TO the
Bookman, he went TO the letter box
and looked through the compartment
marked M" and found therein very
peremptory dun from tailor. Mr..
Matthews was puzzled, as he had had
no dealings with the insistent tailor,
until he again looked at the envelope
and found that he had unwittingly
opened n letter belonging to another
member of the club; SO he put the bill
back in the envelope and returned 1t to
the compartment. AS Mr.. Matthews
was turning to go he noticed the men,
ber for whom the bill was intended
coming toward the letter box A min
ute later he came into the reading
room, where Mr.. Matthews was sitting
with several others. Taking from its
envelope the bill, he read it attentiyely
for a few minutes, sighed, tore it into
bits, then, with wink and the leer of
an invlnclble conqueror, commented,
Poor, silly little girl"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
Fixed Furniture.

Architects and builders Of fats are
showing n decided disposition to fit up
these dwellings with everything poss
bic in the way of furniture. Sideboards,
wardrobes, window and corner otto
man seats, mirrors and bookcases are
being provided with the primary view
of economizing space and the secondary
idea OF enabling tenants TO move IN
and out with as little inconvenience as
possible. But 1t also means that dwell
ers In flats will thus be possessed Of
mere few odds and ends and that
household goods will be SO reduced
that home will practically come to
mean partially furnished lodgings and
nothing more. The gathering together
Of lares and penates will almost cease,
and housewives will have less than
ever to cherish and keep In order. This
will proba''v be regarded as another
blow at domestic life.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
He Liked to Preach.

A Scotch minister tells Of an old
fashioned brother of the church who
insisted on preaching two long ser
mons every Sunday. This feature In
his character he exhibited In the winter
months to a very trying extent. Dur
ing the rest of the year there were two
services, at IL and o'clock, separated
by an interval Of an hour or more, but
when the days were short, as many Of
his congregation came from considera-
BILE distances. ii was desirable that
they should be able to reach their
homes before 1t was dark. But it was
not only desirable, but imperative, that
they should have two sermons. This
was accomplished by having only one
meeting, beginning at II O'Clock, and
doing away with the interval. There
We're then two sermons separated by
the singing of a short psalm.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
MONEY MADNESS.
The Evils of the Mania For Getting
Rich In "a Hurry.

The mania for getting rich-the mad,
false idea that We must have money
has nlayed worse havoc among ambi-
tious people than war or pestilence A
member of the Chicago board of trade
says that the men and women of this
country contribute $l00,UO0OOO a year
10 the sharpers who promise 10 make
them rich quick. They work the same
old scheme OF confidential letter and
ShreWd batting until the victim parts
with his money. Thousands are plod-
ding along in poverty and deprivation
Chagrined and humiliated because they
have not been able to get up In the
world or to realize their ambitions, for
the reason that they succumbrI TO the
scheme OF some smooth promoter who
hypnotized them into the belief that
they could make great deal very
quickly out of very little.
The great fever of trying to make
dollar earn $5 is growing more and
more contagious. We see even women
secretly going into brokers offices ard
bucket shops" investing evCrythnI
they have In all sorts of schemes,
drawing their deposits out of the
banks, sometimes pawnlng their jew
elry-even their engagement rings
and borrowing, hoping to make lot of
money before their husbands or fami-
lies find it out and then to surprise
them with the results, but in most
cases what they invest is hopelessly
lost.
Thousands OF young Americans are
so tied up by financial or other entan-
clements even before they get fairly
started in their life work that they can
only transmute a tithe into that which
will count in their lives. \ large part
Of 1t is lost on the way up, as the en-
ergy OF the coal is nearly all lost before
IL reaches the electric bulb-Orlson
SWEET Marden in Success.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
The Fable In Russia,

This fable, dealing with the fall OF
Witte, the Russian finance minister, is
related in q brochure entitled "a Glance
at the Secrets OF Russian Policy" pub
lished at Vienna: The ear dreamed
the following singular dream: He saw
three cows, one fat, one lean and one
blind. The next day he sent for the
metropolitan Palladius and begged him
to explain the dream, but the metropol-
itan declined. The czar then sent for
Father John of KrOnstadt and made
the same request of him. Father John
stroked his long curly hair with his
hand and made reply in the following
words Your majesty, | understand
your dream In this way: The fat COW
Is the finance minister, the lean one is
the Russian people and the blind one
Don't be afraid. Go on said the car.
The blind cow is-your majesty"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
GIaAed EYeh.

Snakes may almost be said to have
glass eyes, inasmuch as their eyes nev-
er close. They are without lids. and
each is covered with a transparent
scale much resembling glass When
the reptile casts its outer skin the eye
scales come off with the rest of the
transparent envelope out of which the
snake slips.
This CLASSY eye scale Is so tough that
1t effectually protects the true eye from
the twigs, sharp grass and other OBJ
structions which the snake encounters
In It's travels yet IT is transparent
enough to allow the most perfect Vi
sion. Thus If the snake has not glass
eye 1t may, at any rate, be said to wear
eyeglasses.
A similarly protected or Cased eye
which very nearly approaches a glass
eye, or, at any rate, an eye in glass, Is
TO be found in fish. From the charac-
ter of the element In which they live
and the subdued light that reaches
them fish have no need of eyelids either
to wash the eye or protect II from
glare and therefore eyelids are absent,
but some of them need the protection Of
the transparent, horny, convex cases.
which defend their eyes without OBJ.
structing the sight
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
HOME REMEDIES.
How TO Cure Various Ills without
Calling the Doctor.

Calling the Doctor.
In the medicine chest there can be
many home remedies to obyiate the fire.
quent calls Of the doctor and to furnish
the ounce of prevention which is worth
pound of cure, says the Chicago Trib-
uue.
A bottle of camphor, well corked, is
useful for bathing an aching forehead.
Toothache often yields to bit Of cot
ton saturated with it, and pimples and
blackhcads disappear if the affected
parts are frequently bathed with this
remedy.
Alcohol is useful for bathing parts
affected by neuralgia or rheumatism,
and arnica is comforting for bruises,
sprains and Jumps of all sorts.
Pure turpcntinc is convenient for cuts
and bruises and scratches and all sorts
Of injuries when the flesh is torn. Be
fore doing up the wound in gauZe pour
on a little turpentine, and 1t will heal
more rapidly.
A package of ordinary cooking soda
finds place in the well appointed med
lClle ClOScl. Il utllulul pldCtu Ill tlle
hot water I'm which the feet are bathed
does much to relieve tired or blistered
or aching feet. 4 teaspoOnful in half
a glass of cold water relieves a sick
stomach, while a little used as tooth
powder keeps the teeth free from tar
tar and beautifully white.
Every trace of soda must be rinSed
off the teeth every time 1t is used. A
generous handful I'm the bath removes
the odOr of perspiration, besides
strengthening and tOning the system.
1t removes blackheads if the parts af-
fected are first moistened and then COW
cred with as much of the soda as Will
stick Leave it on the face until the
skin begins to smart, then remove by
gently bathing the face with warm wa
ter and drying it with bit of soft old
linen
A pinch of soda often relieves tooth
ache.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
THE FOURTH DIMENSION.
PInto'a Early Efforts to Define This
Intangible Quality.

In Harpers Magazine c. II. Hinton
writes on the much debated question
OF The Fourth Dimension" In open
ing his article he cites Plato as an
early exponent Of this idea.
plato, at the beginning of the sew
enth book OF the Republic, describes
set OF prisoners who are held In chains
before the mouth of a great cavern,
bound SO that they cannot turn their
faces In any other direction than look
ing straight into the cavern.
ION the wall in which the cavern
ends they see their shadows projected
by the sun Their only experience of
objects is derived 10y watching these
shadows. If passers by traverse the
roadway behind them all they see is
the shadows of these passers by on the
wall IL an object strikes them what
they see is the shadow of that object
striking the shadows of themselves
plato draws the conclusion that they
would identify themselves with their
shadows. Since events occurring among
these shadow forms are the invariable
accomplishments of all their sensations
they would think that they themselves
were those shadows and lived and
moved in shadow world
Now the shadows can only move on
the surface of the wall They cannot
approach and recede from it; hence the
prisoners think Of themselves as hav-
ing two dimensional existence only.
And. says Plato. as these prisoners
think Of themselves as less than they
really are, 50 we In our turn think of
ourselves as less than we really are.
His philosophy was an effort TO find
that greater which we really are"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
Reason why Birds Make Toilet.

As bird fashions do not change, the
lady birds Of today wear the same
kind of dresses their grandmothers
wore and are never troubled about
style. Two suits year are quite
enough for most birds, but they need
TO take great care Of them. Each sep
arate feather must be cleaned and look
ed over and the useless ones pulled
out You have seen canary preening
his feathers by lifting them and
smoothing them out with his bill, and
you have thought him vain to do this
so often. If you neglect to comb your
hair ii will become tangled and look
untidy. but more serious things happen
to a bird who does not comb his feath-
ers. These feathers are not packed
close together, you know, but lie loose,
and have places between them filled
with air When a bird wants to get
warmer he lifts his feathers so that
these air spaces may be larger, but II
his feathers are tangled or wet and
dirty he could not raise them, and soon
he could not keep the heat in his little
body and would die, of course
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
His Own Mmnmacript.

George Adc, in the early days Of his
career before the Fables In Slang"
had brought him fame, called one
morning in Chicago upon a Sunday edl-
tor on a mission from theatrical man
ager.
Il have brought you this manu-.
script be began, but the editor, look
ing up at the tall, timid youth, inter
rupted:
"Just throw the manuscript in the
wastebasllet, please" he said I'm
very busy tust now and haven't time
to do it myself"
Mr.. AIDE obeyed calmly. He resumed:
Il have come from the -- theater,
ard the manuscript l have just thrown
in the wastcbaskct is your comic farce
of The Erring Son which the man
ager asks me 10 return to you with
thanks. lie suggests that you sell 1t to
an undertaken, to be read at funerals" +"
Then Mr.. A9a @yGiled gently and
withdrew
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
Why Japs Admire the Carp.

The carp, which plays so prominent
part In Japanese decorations, Is also
the principal dish at high class Jap
anese dinner. 1t is deemed to be the
dish above all others upon which young
men who desire martial career
should be fed, as It's eaters are sup
posed to imbibe the courage OF the fish.
1t is the bravest Of all the japanese
fish and the only one that can swim up
q waterfall. Yet when finally caught
it Will lie perfectly still while waiting
to be killed. These qualities OF BRAY
cry, strength and resignation are much
desired by Japanese young men, and
happy is the family on whose table the
carp appears at frequent intervals.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
A HOUSE DIVIDED.
The Reason o Planned Goose Dinner
Wns On Failure.

WIN @ ~
Most persons have had the expert
ence Of walking with friend out Of
step and trying to shift just at the
moment when the friend also makes
the attempt. This is an instance OF
thwarted harmony much like that
which appears in story told by a
London journal Of an elderly couple.
They were childless and had never
been united by the bond of other lives
linked with their own. So they We're
always In n state of well bred disa-
greement.
On the subject Of meals they disa-
greed thoroughly, and each usually
suggested dish for the Sunday din
ner which the other did not approve.
One Saturday the man came home
from market with basket
You needn't worry about tomor
got IT,"
"And so have l, George. You were
so undecided"-
Undecided! told you what want
ed"
"Well, l mean you didn't decide as
did. So bought goose"
why, SO have l. l told you I'd like
a goose"
"Well, now we are agreed for once
anyway"
"Yes, and | suppose We'll have cold
goose and stewed goose for the next
two weeks"
They relapsed into their usual ST.
lence.
Sunday forenoon the wife asked,
''Do you want little ounce in the
apple sauce with your gooseT
Your goose, you meanr
"No, don't. 1t seemed so absurd to
have two geese in the house that
sent mine to Aunt Jane"
What! / sent mine to Uncle Joer'
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
The Habit of Unhappiness.

Most unhappy people have become
so by gradually forming n habit Of
unhappiness, complaining about the
weather, finding fault with their food,
with crowded cars and with disagree
able companions or work. \ habit Of
complaining, of criticising, of fault
finding or grumbling over trifles,
habit of looking for shadows, IS most
unfortunate habit to contract, especial
ly In early life. for after awhile the
victim becomes n slave. All of the i'm
pulses become perverted until the
tendency to pessimism, to cynicism, Is
Chronic.-SucCesS.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
Legally nend. SIN AIire.

A man may be legally dead and yet
be very much alive in fact Ten years
ago Fitch Marquis left his family in
Kansas and had never been heard OF
until the other day, when he turned up
at La Cygnc. He refused to say where
he had been His wife thought him
dead and sued for $1,000 life insur-
ance policy ne carried. The court de
cided she should pay the premiums
for seven years and if he did not show
up that he would be counted as dead in
this world The widow paid the pre-
miums and at the end Of seven years
drew her money, but Marquis is not
dead Topeka Capital.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
Amethystine Cups.

The WORD amethyst means not intox-
icated or drunken, because the stone
was supposed to possess the virtue Of
preventing drunkenness, leaving the
wearer or drinkcr not intoxicated. For
this reason it was made into drinking
cups by the ancient Persians, but un-
fortunately tradition leaves us in doubt
as to whether it was this misplaced
confidence or not that led to the dis
continuance of the amethystine cup.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04
How TO Mount Stamp Photographs.

Since stamp photographs have be
come fad new ideas for mounting
them have been devised. One Of the
quaintest methods for the western girl
or the girl who has returned east with
souvenirs from the western woods is to
mount her stamp pictures on the brown
bark of the eucalyptus or on yucca or
orange wood. The beautiful birch bark
is also excellent for mounting these
miniature pictures
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04

Perdita-It doesn't matter If this Is
the third installmcnt Of the story The
synopsis is printed, telling how the
first chapters went, 50 you can start
reading it from here Penelope Yes;
but how stupid of them not to have
the synopsis tell how it ends.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04

Money" said Uncle Eben, ''is what
makes de mare 20, but sometimes IT
wants a sensible driver to prevent
somebody FUN gittin' throwed hahd."
Baltimore American,
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04

Weekdays. Daily. Flag stations =.
Pullman ParOr ard Sleeping Cars run on
through trains between S&cbury, Williansper,
and Eric. between SunbHry an5 Philadelphia
and Washington and between Harrisburg, Pitts
burg and the West. t...--.- ...'s .,
For further information apply to Ticket Agents
W. W. ATTERBURY, j. X. WOOD
Gen'l Manager. Pass. ITs4hcM g
GRO, Nv BOY, Gen'l Passenger Agent,
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-08-04

'Daily, tDaily except Sunday.
fStops on signal or on notice to conductor
"a Stops on signal to take ontpassengers To-
New York, Binghamton and eoints west.
t. f. CLARKE T.%. LEE
zen. SUPERINTENDENT. Gen. -
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1904-02-19
Temten6e &opiteI.
Mnbol6t.

Sc al SnipeftGr Glorfe trufne Gocronltaltninge
for blonot i%amtlige 2on6oner Droifefuife at fin0e Sen
enc, ser bQboe fgrt for &ofainfpberen, biit Jig 1e11=
1igtsn1es1ig, eler mes on0re 0r6 Sen u6iatte Be-
Iprning for at bringe 9plpsning, ppe6e fin @irfning.
Sen neite Sag in6fan6t en- 9roifefuff Jig paa 4oli>
t%itationen og meo6elte Sen tienitggren6e Sberbetjent,
at Fan Sen 146e September bap6e fprt for en- @erre og
en- Game fra @oterloobonegoar6 til 0rfor6 Cirrus og
6erfra ODER &olborn til @bancerD Sane. @aa &eien
bap6e Sc ltan0iet beb ct Sip otef, &erre1 og Dane1 bar
gaaaoe ino oG li6t efter TONNE us og bap6e toget
.&la6s / Drolfen. 9erefter bar Sc f6rte til gbancerD
2ane> bpor begge &asiaaerer bab6e forlaot @ognen.
&an bap6e facet fin Detailing, tilfdie6e &uifen, og
iioen bopoe bon life Jet mere til Sc to.
@aa S~pgrgsmoalet ON fan bil6e funne %genfen0e
Danen eller Serrer, lDare6e ban, at Dame11 pil0e
ban neppe fu11oe %genferoe, men 6arinoo NOT @erre,,
naar ban iaa bam.
Otter at Snipeftgr ,Glarfe bab6e mo6taget oisie
Me6oelelie oplpgte bqn fin Toreiqtte fit al 0enne
.Gillooelie til at tage &nifen / EieneIte og laoe bon1
%tilligemeo en- 0p0ager, bol6e @ogt pes 8aterloobone
gaar6en / &aab om> at &pberen al &ofainen biloe
labe fig ie ser igen. Set par rigtig OF ct jpogt, ct
r1eget inagt Spor, men set enene, iom Bolitiet baobe
(Sortiettes).
St. Paul tidende. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1902-1928, 1904-02-19
l)ovedet
emertebe n1eget, bar ndite11 ban.
nitttg.
Sit tn8ett SDnn. &ttuoe natter,
lite li8ge ne6.
ST.. @ile8' Nerpine belbrebebe
mig bartgt.

"Gor ct aar fioen leb ies al Msapeipsbpm i ftprf
Grab. Seq nar ban9e for altins. funbe lite taale at
bpre Gang eler Wtufit, o9 at 1efe eler bpre rm Dpbs.
1alb bapoe neiten min egen SOB tilfplge. Seq funbe
life iooe e1er ligse 1eo, gasbopebet fmertebe faa bob.
iomt, at ieg bar neieu %nannittis. Mine SfuIbre
sioroe onbt os bet minbite leg foretog mig, paabrog
mig Anfa1b at ben f~tarteite g%erppfitet. Ser par 9iber,
boor ies baobe Gornemute1ie af cit SLUMP i @alfen, %
nain Munb bar iaa tpr, at leg tunbe naftea lite tale.
Seq nar fortoip1et, tnbtil ies bespnbte at BRUCE ST.,
Miles' Reitoratioe geerpine. Seq bar brust ialt tolu
Glaiter os anfer mig felo for at bore narist belbreoet.
Dfin &nsle9e bar fiben 9iort 8emertninser ONT nit
fu1oe uoieenbe o9 fagt, at ban pnitebe at funr1e fiqe.
Ct bang m:q Msbisin baebs binlpet mig: @an pe6 BET bar
Yias og onler 9eres Weebi liner for bort @usopotbei.
Seg fan lite iise nof for Nerpine, hi fprube,, nit eget
3ilfeloe par pgiaa Hlin 9atter bieln,me fra Stole iIane
1to paa @runb al ct. Vttus Sans. men bleo ful6.
lt!9nbtg belbrebet al ptte 6laiter. gun beiinber fig MI
lonGrtet pg 9aar SfDIe bper Sag. 0i tafter Scent
fr 9eres 0enli9beb pg bill life ppbpre nteb at lpepr,fe
Dr. Miles' @eitorotipe gterpiue ."-Mrs. 6. 6. 9Ring.
Gina, 8.
@ae Mpotbetere iel9er ps eoranterer ben fsrfte
Slaffe at 9r. Mtiles' 2a9eu161er. @trio efter fri
Bog pm .%gteroeiitet pg Sicrte5poopmnte. Moresfe:
ST. MeileS' Wtebilal Co., Glfbart. Ssnb.