The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-10

told them of the battles I was in, and
described some of the horrors OF
war
But what on earth did you want to
! do such a thing as that for?''
Because / didn't want to be hluffeo
| out. l know dozen different men
| who pass for old war veterans, and yet
| they We're not ten years old when the
war closed. Some of them describe
things so glibly as to make your hair
CURL
well, you passed yourself off for a
| colonel and an old veteran, and what
| then? %
why. one of the men. whose name
| is Fowler, belongs to a Grand Army
post I didn't know it then, but he
came in again this afternoon and said
that the post wanted me to deliver a
lecture or address on my personal ad-
ventures during the war"
And of course you declined?"
II did. but he wouldn't have it
that way. He said that a committee
would call here at O'Clock this even
ing to extend a formal invitation. That
is what's bothering me. I can't accept
the invitation, and yet what excuse am
going to make?''
You have acted like an idiot! ex-
claimed Mrs. Bowser, land I don't see
how you are to get out of 1t with any
credit to yourself. The idea of your
posing as a veteran and a colonell
Wild horses couldn't have dragged you
into the war had you been old enough
to go, and as for the colonelcy, you
might just as well have claimed tina
you put down the rebellion single hand
ed. I never heard of such foolish au-
dacity.,
Madame, don't forget who I amr'
cautioned Mr.. BoWser with considera-
BILE asperity.
"Oh I won't You are Col. Bowser,
late of the til, and you bear the scars
of seven or eight wounds received while
engaged in the business of saving your
i
At another time her words would have
precipitated a crisis. if not a calamity
Mr.. Bowser felt the sting of the sar-
casn, and saw the cat grinning, and
he turned pale and had to hang on to
himself. He dared not break out, how
ever. He needed Mrs. Bowsers help
to get out of bad scrape.
finally observed.
THAT is, you have decided not to lee
ture on your personal experiences-the
fierce charge-the bursting shells-the
ping Of the bullets-the pale faces of
the dead and the groans Of the wound
ed ?"
Yves, have decided not to-"
Your decision is probably a wise
one. You might have got General Lee
commanding the Union army before you
were through speaking. What do you
propose to say to the committeeman
excuse will you make?''
81 tell you I don't want to see the
committee at all. shan't be here when
they call. I want you to receive them
and say that / was suddenly called out
of town.
But they will come some other
time"
Maybe not You can do your best
to discourage them. I'll get out pretty
soon and go over and hang around the
drug store for an hour. Why in thun-
der that Grand Army man wanted to
butt in can't see. wish he had been
left on some field of battle. Will you
help me out of this scrape or not?''
II will make the best possible excuse
to the committee" she replied, land
you let this be a solemn warning to you
in future. AS hero of a hundred bat
ties you are not a success. You don't
look like a colonel any more than I
look like the Goddess of Liberty. You
can so on and I will do the best can"
Mr.. Bowser felt the hit and the hurt,
but he made no reply. He simply laid
it away among the archives to be re-
venged later on. Ten minutes later he
was out of the house and Mrs. Bowser