Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1904-09-21
HOW JACK
PROPOSED

Trying to propose to her." re
piled Jack.
"Why isn't it,"
Because | can'tw moaned, OF
rather howled, the poor boy, say
agely kicking my waste paper bas'
ket over.
"Why can't you?"
"The fact is" said Jack, sitting
down again and assuming a sepul
chral tone, "if l don't bring it off III
Pip
"Whaty'
M'll die of felo-de-se."
Here was my dear chum, siI
months since the brightest, happiest,
merricst fellow in London, deeply in
love with young person called Cis-
sy q don't to this day know her 9TH
er name; Jack never mentioned it),
and in the depths Of despair because
he couldn't "bring it Off" if | may
use his own terse phraseology. We
held conversations of this sort about
six times q day on an average, but
never before had he threatened to
at shall be either by pistol or
rope" growled Jack hoarsely, and
for the moment | believe he was
thoroughly in earnest.
l thought I'd try the cynical, man
of the world method and scott him
out of his foolishness, so / said:
ssFancy being knocked over in this
way by pulling girl, weak, silly
creature, who isn't even q new wo-
man.
Jack was all on fire in a moment.
"She's not weak, pulling, silly
creature, and she is new woman"
he shouted, forgetting for the nonce
that it is not altogether desirable
thing to be in love with that femi-
nine novelty. $50 now!"
Internationally | may ask, Why
is it that people always end up de-
fances of this kind with those mys-
tic words, $50 now" Why is itO
Jack" ! said, write to her"
splendid ideap' said Jack, who
had been thinking of different ways
of proposing for six months and now
hailed that of doing it by post as an
entirely new and original idea.
"Here goes, and thanks awfully, old
chap, for giving me the tip"
Selling quite quirc Of note paper
Jack scrubbed and tore up about
dozen proposals in writing. Then
he turned round, almost crying, and
said that he couldn't do it that way,
and he wouldn't, and he'd hang him.
self, and perhaps then she'd be sor-
ry, and-and-and-why was he
born?
"My dear boy" said, laying my
hand on his shoulder in the most
fatherly way imaginable, "let's talk
over the matter quietly. Now, sup
pose l propose for you?" .
no." said Jack. "She'd think i
was afraid to ask her myself and re-
fuse me on the spot. No. | won't
write, and | won't do it by proxy.
Isn't there some other way? Why
don't you suggest something, you
great, long idiot, instead of sitting
there and grinning all night
Now, | wasn't grinning, and | had
been suggesting things all the time,
so naturally ! felt much hurt. /
therefore curled up and was silent.
For some time Jack smoked saw
agely without speaking word.
After about twenty minutes of this
he laid down his pipe and began in
a very apologize tone:
II say"
DWELL ?"
"Can't you think OF any other
way of proposing"
"Wear a flower which means Il
love YOU A pansy or crocus or
something. Then, if she wants you,
she'll wear one meaning, Your SEN
timents are reciprocated'"
Don't think much of that way"
said Jack. "Know any other?"
Now, have never been in love
in my life and never intend to be,
and SO found it rather hard to giva
Jack advice. However, | racked my
brains and at length evolved this
startling method:
'Propose to her through her IA
therw.
ooh, you hopeless mass of i'm.
becility" yelled Jack, bouncing up
and grabbing his hat. GLOW am l
to do that when she hasn't got a
father"
And he flung himself out of the
room in a towering passion and did
not come near me again for quite a
period. Well, how was | to know
that the wretched girl hadn't a ia
Their? Was ! expected to keep a
register of all the births, deaths,
marriages and divorces which occur
red in those families which contain
ed girls Jack was in love with? No,
thank you. | had not quite come
down to earning my living by being
a love register.
Well, you will no doubt want to
hear how Jack really did propose. In
telling you | must give YOU plain
ly to understand that ! am only re-
peating what Jack told me. l was
not an eyewitness of the heartrend-
, Al