davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

It is doubtful whether the army of
any country on earth could fight its
hardest were there no flags to symbol
lss their cause. no drums and bugles
TO speak for it again and again. Just
% the students of college are held
together, are reminded Of their duty to
the institution Of their character of
students, by the huttering Of the steam
9s, blue, crimson, orange and black.
olive and blue. whichever the case may
be; the footing of the horns and the
6tentorian recitation-swelled by the
throat Of each Of them-of that pecu-
nar1y unliterary and unmusical COM
position. the college yell
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
ANDRE PRISON HOUSE.

Historic Structure 1s Now Used as a
bar and Tavern.
In the little village of Tappan, near
the border line between New York and
New Jersey, about twenty-one miles
from New York, is the historic prison
house in which Major John Andre, Of
the British army, was confined in Sep
tember, 1850, and from which he was
led to execution on Oct 2, 1880, says
the New York Tribune The house is
practically the same now as it was 1913
years ago, although a storm in March,
1897, destroyed part of the structure
and leveled side wall, which has been
rebuilt, however.
The house has long been an object
Of interest to tourists, and it has lately
attracted some attention because Of the
resurrection of the theme Of Andres
death by Clyde Fitch, the playwright,
who has Laid the scenes Of his last act
in the play 'Major Andre" now rum
ming at the Savoy Theater, in this cele-
brated house.
The building Is Of stone, and it has
been known for nearly a century as
the "'76 house." Presumably it was
built in that year. It was tavern
when Andre was confined there, and
it is a tavern still. For many years
prior to its partial destruction, in 1897,
it had been unoccupied, and it was
therefore in poor condition to with
stand the strong winds. Immediately
afterward it was purchased by Charles
A. Pike, a native of Tappan, who re-
stored the house as nearly as possible
to its former state. One room, how
ever, has been converted into a bar
room. Directly across the hall is the
Andre prison room, which is carefully
preserved for the inspection of visitors.
Mr.. Pike, the owner Of the building, is
proud of his property and the Andre
room is filed with rare prints and re-
productions of documents relating to
the young British officer who was tried
there and hanged in the rear Of the
house.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
EDI ORIAIS
OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS

our bodies and bodies with minds. We should
less would frankly meet ideals with
just compromises aiming simply gain with
every compromise.
The Boston Globe says: "The investor who carries
his steel stock to bed with him every night and his
dreams sees it falling falling, falling the who
watches the ticker tape with sharp eye looking out of
clear head the next day to hand Of for
tune. .ItsHs5#ss zs9
The merchant who permits himself to suffer long from
the blues because his profits this less than last
year. will always keep little the corner
long as his brain is active His show windows viii
grace the main street. Itst
THE mechanic who continually the fear that he
will be left penness time of sickness because his
ings all for the family food and clothing but weak
enng his capacity workman and Fastening his day Of
expected misfortune.
The housewife who eternay frets lest the cake fall
speck Of dust be overlooked parlor only
the pleasure Of the present but mortgages the joys she
might naturally expect for the future.
Don't and the result will be fewer overwrought
minds fewer exhausted systems less to
bracing drugs, and reduction in the number
cases Of insanity Weeks Progress afJ
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

'Have you any old clothes, ladyr'
asked the broom peddler. "Pn give
you fine broom for some old clothes. +"
"I'm busy now," said the woman Of
the house. "Not to-day"
She began slowly to close the door,
but the peddler displayed one Of his
brooms-a gorgeous, w1de-spreading
one with vanished handle and
bound with green plush.
"Just pair Of old Shoes" pleaded
the peddler.
"Wa1t a moment" said the woman
and closed the door, carefully putting
the catch on. Then she went upstairs
and rummaged through some closets
and at last found a pair Of old shoes,
which she brought down and offered to
the peddler.
They're badly worn," he said.
"Of course they are" said the WON
an, briskly. eff they weren't I'd wear
them myself. Do you want to trade
me broom for them.
The man smiled mournfully and pro
ducing a whisk broom said, "Tll let
you have this for them shoes and 10
cents"
Certainly not" said the woman.
"Give 'em to me-"
Haven't you any othersr" asked the
peddler.
mo, 1 haven't. I don't need a whisk
broom. I want carpet broom"
The peddler examined the shoes
again. Then he said: "Well, I'll give
you a carpet broom for the shoes and
a quarter"
81 won't do it." said the woman.
"Give me back the shoes"
"Wel1, Is cents, then"
"Oh, WELL" said the woman, Il sup
pose I'll have to to get rid Of you.
Wait a minute"
She closed and bolted the door again
and went upstairs for her pocketbook,
from which she extracted a quarter,
which the peddler took, returning her
a battered nickel and i've pennies.
Then he handed her a small broom.
without any plush upholstering.
Here" said the woman, II want
that one you showed me first"
Cant give you that broom for 10
cents" said the peddler.
''Then give me the shoes and the
quarter back" said the woman. sTu
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08


nM7SXNNy pleaded guilty to federal Indictment The
UI incident calls attention to the fact that very
large class Of people throughout this country
carry wedding tocularty altogether
and while they seldom to indecent lengths in their
funny, in the instance their "hu
attempts usually smack Of coarseness that IL
entirely harmony with the civilization OF the day
charivari 'shveree," it Is commonly called
institution Of historic antiquity and when confined to
drumming that compes the returned groom to produce
cider and the pipe Of peace is interesting and
harmless enough but the efforts to embarrass the newly
married couple before strangers is different proposition
Starting with the harmless old custom of throwing rice for
luck the matter Of playing tricks with
the grooms clothing to lacking ribbons the travelling
trunks and finally the sendon at the train, where
humorist to the assemblage Of travelling
strangers that these people have just been
married. another idiot distributes handbls to the
effect embellished with remarks more less i'm
pertinent imbecile, the be- The only posi-
BILE effect 10 to make the bride and
miserable and all other best with
good to feel foolish.
The line between laughter and disgust is very marrow
and the amateur comedians essyng great 5oculary
the occasion their friends marriage almost invariably
overstep it. It pity there is way for the
gieved to reach the great majority OF them this
editor reached-Indianapolis Journal
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

sounds well in theory but in practice there
tons There refractory pupils whom nothing but the
fear Of physical punishment keep in subecon and 1t
unfortunately that the example of two such
boys is potent demoralizng force than the
ample Of the good boys counterac Boys naturally
lawless they healthy and the forcefu rascal
who dees his teacher likely be regarded hero by
his schoolmates There doubtless many occasions
when good efficient Gaming would do to maintain
order and discipline in the classroom than the most earnest
appeal to the dormant Of honor of the boys
In the OF the boy who drew knife his teacher
in of the Brooklyn schools recently it certainly
that application Of the would have been
ecacous than the arrest Of the boy Imprisonment
tends confirm the vice that there be in boy while
the Indictment virtue of good thrashng from which
there honor the sight of his fellows to be derived
would much eficacious reformatocy meas
ure.-Brooklyn TuneA
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

An Alaskan child bearing the name
Of Leon Edward Seattle No. Yukon
Woodpile Bartlett Is in trouble Its
father recently killed its mother. Let
Us hope their quarrel was not result
of the naming of the baby.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

There was a time when the greatest
Hbp that the United States was con-
sidered fit only for hog-fattening pur-
grow no other cereal They measure
the crop In billions Of bushels, not mill
lions And every year this crop. that
asks so little care but much sunshine,
3 growing more valuable. becRuse sci
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

When a friend told the late Theodor
Mommsen that his books contained
twenty-four million words the great
historian remarked, II did not know
I was 30 wretched1y verbose. 1 am
sure no person has read them ALL"
Modesty seems to be characteristic of
some types Of greatness, even If we
do not admit that no greatness can ex-
ist without humility
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

In all Of England there are said to
be but two matrimonially available
dukes left. Considering the large num-
ber Of available would-be duchesses we
yet have on hand, this news Is really
distressing!
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

German engineers, backed by Amer
lean capital, have started for Portu-
guese East Africa to work what some
persons believe to be the rediscovered
mines Of Ophir. from which King Sol
omon obtained his gold. If the mines
contain gold no modern capitalist will
care very much whether Solomon knew
of them or not
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

A Cincinnati man refused to marry
The girl because she cried on her way
to the church. This should be q warn
ing. 1t is always best for the girls to
leave the crying to be done by their
mothers.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

Mr.. Carnegie processes profound sor-
row and sympathy for young men who
were born rich. Up to date the young
Vanderbilts. Goulds, Rockefellers and
other sons of rich men have failed to
express any hearty appreciation Of Mr..
Carnegies sympathy for them.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

Well, Tommy, how are you getting
on at school?'
illustrate. 1 amt doing so well as
some of the other boys, though. I can
stand on my head, but 1 have to put
my feet against the wall. I want to
do it without the wall at all."-Punch.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

-" Here she broke off and shifted
"Graciousr' she exclaimed, 'if my pies
aren't burninv Here, take your pen.
MES and give me the shoes and my
quarter"
The peddler took back his change
slowly and the odor Of burning pastry
grew stronger.
"I'H let you have this broom for O
quarter and the Shoes" he said.
The woman snatched the broom out
Of his hand, slammed the door in his
face and rushed to her oven to dis
cover four pies burned to a crisp. The
peddler walked away, smiling.-Chi-
cago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

A man has discovered a process
whereby he can make cigars out Of
straw. If he tries to use it he Ii like
ly to- find himself buried under suits
for infringement
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

A New York preacher became the
father of triplets a few days ago. If
he can go on preaching peace on earth
now it will have to be admitted that
he's q wonder. .--
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

The per capita circulation In this
country on December 1, was $3O.21,
breaking all records. Evidently the
Christmas shoppers began early.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08


daily doings of the presidential family but also Of the fam
lilies those milonaires who In, and by
supposed exclusively to constitute, "socety Not only
this there system, especially in what would be
England provincial press, Of recording the
doings movements visitatons of pretty much
body in pretty much community in the country
= What effect is all this publicity to have upon the
average man, and girl? But particularly, what
all this familiarity have upon the worlds sent
with regard to royalty and high ecclesiastical
thoy? As to these latter matters surely there will be
palpable effects. continue great
there little left Of the unknown? One thing
sure; sentiment toward kings and courts and Vat
remain the in these and remark
conditions relation the former and their
subjects and followers may be the less aectonate
even reverent: it may become human, close
But the mystery having departed there hardly be the
old When the mind longer awed and clouded
the dim and the unknown the appeal to must
be misunderstanding Magazine
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Obeying the Law.

"Why did you let him get away from
youY' thundeFed the chief.
"He-er-took a mean advantage of
me-" replied the green detective. "He
ran across the grass in the park and -
"WeI?"
"Wen, there was sign there, 'Keep
of the grass "-Phi1adelphia Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Old ae the Scissors,

"Telegraphing without wires is no
new thing" remarked the gray-haired
passenger.
"It isn't, eh?" queried the drummer.
"'Not by jugful," continued the old
man. "Why, sir, when 1 published q
newspaper forty years ago I. got near
ly all my telegraph news that way
Chicago News.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

A statesman is advocating the doc
tine that the ramps should build the
roads. Weary will be too strong to
be found in the vicinity where road
building Is going on.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER.
ESTING ITEMS.

Comments and Criticisms Based Upon
the Happenin<s of the Day-Histori.
cal and News Notes.
To err is human; not to jump on
the man who errs In divine.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

A Boston educator is arguing for
teaching the school children more fairy
tales, in spite of the fact that there
are too many politicians already.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
A Felt Want.

Casey-Oi see there's bin another
railroad wreck due to an open switch.
Cassidy-Ay, tits a pity some wan
don't invint a switch thot'll stay shut
whin its open.-Philadelph Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

Panama will doubtless see to It that
that $4,000, 600 does not give rise to
any popular agitation against treas
ury surplus.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

A German professor claims to have
found redium In petroleum. Now watch
the price Of kerosene go where you
can't see 1t with telescope.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Frugal.

Frugal
ST want a dog license" said the man
In the Chicago city hall
"An right" said the clerk.
"You might as well give me a mar
riage license as well Two for a quar-
ter. suppose?"-Yonkers Statesman.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
One Drawback,

"'T1s love that makes the world go
round" whispered the pretty girl as
she nestled closer.
"Yes," sighed the young man as he
glanced at the time, 'and it seems to
make the hands of the clock go around,
too"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Facts About Immigration.

In thirty years 1,391,076 Italians
have come to this country. This immi-
grafton has a very peculiar character.
Until 1890 the percentage Of women
was less than 10. but now It has In
creased TO 80. This indicates that the
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

Getting into debt is like dropping
from a balloon. Getting out again is
like climbing a creased pole.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
More Proof.

Ernie Some learned professor tells
US that sunspots cause people to lose
their tempers.
Ida-I don't doubt it. 1 saw several
girls the other day who were mad as
hornets because they had freckles.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
To Make Bad Bows Good.

T is not strange that there should be q good
deal of sentiment among public school princi-
pals in favor Of the restoration Of corporal pun
ishment under proper restriction, in the
schools. The rule that the teacher who cannot
secure discipline and order in his class with
out resortng to physical force is not fit to teach
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

The venerable Mr.. Fitzsimmons does
not seem to be in any hurry to set
tie down In q home for the aged
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Nixhtly Occurrauce.

Teacher-What is this word?
TOMMY don't know, ma'am.
Teacher-What does gentleman re-
move when he enters q house?
Tommy-Well, If ma is awake pa
removes his shoes,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Very Appropriate.

did you hear about Lever? Went
fast to sleep while speeding in his au-
tomobile."
Eyes, and he slept like top"
"How was thatw
Spinning"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Land Ii Redeemed.

BY means Of irrigation something
like $4,000 acres Of land in Dakota
has been increased in value over $780,
OQQ. COO.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
SCafhiuH.

Angry Patron Ito waiter)-Herei
Take away this lobster. Why, it's as
old as am
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

E6SSNI records kept In Sweden the average is 81
k&E2ISEl years. Whether 1t is better, the whole
that the average age of marriage In country
should high is moot question: and the answer
vary according the character of the country Early
marriages naturally followed by large families Of chill
dren but young parents with many children very
likely be poor unable give the children much
The young forced to leave school and
at early and thus their minds and bodies
prevented attaining the highest development of
which they capable. True, moderate measure of
wholesome neglect Is good for child True. also that
many great like Lincoln and Garfield from the
humblest poorest of early environment But when
talking Of general safe proposition that
poverty is detriment to children The advantages
of money good schools books and reasonable amount
comfort and luxury at home beneficial They
make finer quality of men and women-San Francisco
Bulletin.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

Papa, what Is anmonyr
my boy, it is the price set on .
mans liberty"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Two Of q Kind.

"A man needn't be afraid Of light
ming so long as he can see 1t approach
ing" said the would-be humorist.
Same way with bullet" observed
the solemn party with farof look In
his off optic.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Crazy Enough.

NTHXy 11HUuXHs
Eyes, if do say it, said the con-
ceited fellow, ''she's crazy for me-"
'How unnecessary" remarked Miss
Sharpe, you don't require any assist
ance in that direcion."-Philad ladelphia
Press.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
An Unreasonable Reoue,

Wife timidly)-Can you let me have
a dollar, dear?
Husband (testily)-No, can't
Haven't just spent $4,000 on an auto
mobile?
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Publicity of Modern Life.

HE fierce light that was supposed to beat ex-
clusively upon a throne has come, in our mod
ern conditions, to beat with almost equal fierce
ness upon kitchen. The do1ngs, sayings, and
portraits of the cooks of the truly rich now.
adays matters for public record. Meantime our
A American court Gala ndar includes not only the
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

"And after the elopement" he whis.
pered, tenderly, 1--WE will go to light
housekeeping"
Lighthouse keepingw she echoed,
innocently. Then all we'll need will
be big lamp"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

It All Depends.
"How gratifying it must be-" said
the sentimental youth who had the
matrimonial fever, ito be the owner
Of ones own little home"
Eyes, it's gratifying enough, sup
pose," rejoined the man who had just
failed in business, "but it's a whole.
lot safer to have ones wife own it,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Platform Repartee

FI2tf0r" Nep1rtees
Did you ever see chimney
sweep" asked the solemn man with
the black cane.
"No," responded the conductor Of
the car, "but I've heard a college
yeu."
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

Few men are appreciated until they
take up their residence In a cemetery.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08

immigration has marked tendency to
become permanent
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
No Laughing Matter.

II thought you would surely laugh at
that little JOKE said the humorist, as
the editor solemnly glanced at the
manuscript.
mot me-" rejoined the man behind
the blue pencil, II never laugh at an
old friend"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Lesser Evil.

(, Ma" walled the small boy, "I've
lost two teeth, a lock of hair, scraped
my shins and tore all my clothes up
What have you been doing, sir?'
demanded the angry woman. 'Tell the
truth
'F-fght1ng."
"Oh, well, it's not so bad I thought
you'd been playing football"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Dinner Repartae.

"Ah, this spring chicken is a tooth
some morsel," said the sweet singer.
Excuse me-" said the comedian
boarder, ''but it cannot be toothsome."
'Why not?"
Because chickens have no teeth"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
A Brixht Thouxh&.

Yes, ma'am," said the obsequious
grocery clerk to Mrs. Bridey, who was
ordering her first bill of supplies, ''I'vs
put down parlor matches; what next?''
"Well-er-I suppose I ought to
have some kitchen matches, too,
oughtn't IY'
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Dead Easy.

Dead Easy.
"How," asked the very young man,
can one tell when love is only pla-
tonicY'
when it develops into the other
kind" replied the charming widow,
zone can look back and see the differ
ence"
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
Obtuse Bri11i,ncy

Jul1a-ls CIemenune really 90 Intel
lectual7
Aurelia-Oh, yes; she never can tell
you thing any other woman has on.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1904-01-08
She11inx the Parouet.

oH1O1H1"B WIG
"How was that play, The Fan Of
Santiago'?'
Great! The shells fell among the
audience"
"You don't sayv'
''Yes, the gallery boys were eating
peanuts"