New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-01-09
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

King Edward is good deal OF humorist IN
quiet way. and he keeps eye things this side
OF the water. Recently asked him what
he would do TO living should he lose his
present job. He replied that he would go tho
United States and make lecture tour.
His Other Cheek-"when enemy smites me-"
said the piqus looking hypocrite Il always turn
Why asked the man who knew him do you
want your enemy TO go around with both hands
dlsahledr'-(Chicago Record Herald
The London and Northwestern Railway Company
has established record railway The Amer
lean boat express. which usually from Liver
pool 10 Easton without STOP was pulled up at
Crewe. The Journey from Crews to London 15s1a
miles was done in exactly many minutes. not
withstandng that on two occasions speed
duced 10 almost walking pace.
THE END OF THE WEEK
It happens every Saturday. when all tho chores is
An the day +, restin sorne'.res an tho stars is
A'-twinkiin an A-dancin' IN the clear an distant
To the music OF the sleigh bells they go a-ting-
We havo tended to our labors; all the week we've
An We feel that were entitled a night Of homes,
rest;
An nav has washed the dishes. an the hired
mans fed the stock
But the weeks work amt quite finished until
gran'paw winds the clock
a
An you'd very likely break IT If you didn't under
An when the weights go risin with whirrin'
allns hope that I'll grow up as smart as gram
An then the house gifts quiet. cause the folks all
An there. amt no noise except the branches
We've finished up another week, an Time has
That shuts it out an starts rs fresh when gram
paw winds tho clock.
-CwashIngtor Star.
In Taranaki. Australia IS n church labelled In
large letters its outside walls with tho names
and trades OF grocer draper. a painter and a
miller. These tradesmen built the church in return
for the advertisement they obtain
Tangles II All J-p.-Towne-It's n fact that a per
son with a strong imagination has absolutely no
Browne-Don't you believe it. When nv wife
gets her imagination to work upon her age she can
When n Senator enters an elevator in the Senate
wing OF the Capitol he is carried directly to his
destination without regard to the intentions OF the
other passengers. This Senatorial prerogative de-
layed the Presidents message to Congress recent
IL In an amusing way. Mr.. Barnes, the assistant
secretary TO the President. stepped aboard n Sem
ate elevator from the ground floor. In portfolio
under his arm he carried 4 message from the Presi-
dent OF the United States to Congress.
Senate floor" said Mr.. Barnes as the con-
ductor shut the door.
signaD of the bell and the indicator showed that
Il Senator wanted to be lifted out OF the terrace
The elevator went down. instead OF up and Mr.
Barnes went along. The Senator I'm the terrace
only wanted 10 go TO tho ground floor As he
stepped off. however there another Senatorial
ring from tho terrace. This Senator wanted 70
10 the gallery floor and the elevator went there
without stopping. AS the started down there
were three rings from the ground floor and again
the failed to stop the destination OF the
Presidents atelv for
this Senator wanted to get or at the Senate floor
and the Congress. after long delay received tho
message from the President.
A Guess-sunday School Teacher-Now. can INV,
tory?' "' 'S proiane his
Tommy Boggs-I guess it's the kind yer swear at
when yer have ter study it.-(Philadelphia Ledger
An amusing story is told of Uncle Dick" Oglebv
once Governor OF Illinois. He made n tour Of IN
spection of the Joliet Prison. and came to n coll
In which a hideously ugly man was confined Tba
man was so i'll favored that the Governor stopped
to ask about him.
whats he In for?" he asked
He forced young woman TO eIoos with b,
at the point OF n pistol" the keeper replied
We'll" said Oglesby. IT guess I'll pardon hin,
Pardon htm!' protested the warden ..Whv
Governor, the proof against him is absolute.
II know" said the Governor but he couIdn.t .
her TO marry him In any other way"
NOT NEW WEALTH.
The prima donna said: MY facs
My fortune is Then Won
Rss hTs noi aeT rival FOR the place.
philadelphia Press
Lynn. that notable centre of the making Of
shoes by machinery. buster in 1909 than 60.
before, and its production surpassed its btgha.t
totals of other years No In the wide yrorId
will be allowed TO &C barefoot provided LYNN ca,
get chance to supply him with footgear.
Vexing Delay.-"Our new company is capitalized
at $4,000 co., " P''N'isAeo
Great! Let me see your prospectus"
- IN. we haven't got out prospectus yet. The