The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1904-04-07
EMINlSCENCES OF THE DE.
CEASED LAWYER RETOLD BY
NEWSPAPER MAN.
Stories Would Fill MANY
Volumes-They Were All Good
and Appropriate.

w
one of the most interesting and bril-
liant wits that ever scintillated in the
west, says the Oregonian. While the
eloquent Southerner will long be re-
membered by all classes of people with
whom he came in contact, he will es-
pecially be missed by the politicians
and newspaper men who have been
regular attendants at the state con-
ventions and legislative sessions since
Washington became a state. The
Washington politicians are a strenuous
lot and find pretty steady employment
in putting up jobs on each other, but
seldom have they ever been too busy
Winston's famous epigramatic mano-
lOgueS or stories. He was possessed
of an unfailing fund of wit and humor
and his presence at any kind of gather
ing was positive assurance that there
would be some life in the proceed
ings. "Winston's stories" would fill
many volumes and they were all good
and always fitted the occasion. He
was in attendance at nearly all of the
big senatorial fights in the state of
Washington. and he always found plen
ty of targets for his rapier thrusts of
wit
At one of these contests a number
of years ago. the colonel was pulling
hard for one of the under dogs" in
the fight, and day after day assured
the newspaper men that his candidate
the opposing candidates was charged
with making heavy drafts on Il bar
rel" When the end came and the forces
Of Colonel WinstOn's candidate went
over to the enemy he was playfully
chided by a newspaper man for losing
his fight. The reprOach was not very
gracefully received, and with a string
of profanity mOdulated with the col
oners inimitable Southern accent he
said: Beat? OF course we got beat.
How in the blankety blank nation do
you expect to beat six millions Of
money with a pitcher of ice water?
You might do it if the contest was
pulled off in Hades, but you'll never
do it in Olympia"
The colonel was still feeling sore over
his defeat day later, when he depart
the depot platform at Olympia and ask
ed where he was going. Temporarily
exclaimed the colonel with dignity
mixed with bitterness, Il am going to
Seattle. From there 1 will rturn to
South Carolina. l can stand it to live
awhile with these political scrubs, but
when die, want to be in a land where
l am assured that on resurrection day
1 will go up with gentlemen AS
stump speaker, Colonel Winston was
a decided success, and his work in the
populistic campaign of 1896 contributed
in large degree to the success of the
ticket He was not sparing in his crit
icism of the new party with which he
was temporarily affiliated and told
many humorous stories at the expense
Of the middle Of the-roaders. On one
occasion, while making a speech at
Palouse town he drew a vivid word
picture of the woes that had resulted
from republican rule in the country
and followed it with an equally unfa-
vorable light. He spoke in eloquent
terms Of the doom that awaited the
country under the administration of
either of the old parties, and after a
glittering climax, said:
Ladies and gentlemen, there is no
relief, absolutely no relief" This pro-
ration was SO unexpected that the au
dience sat dunibfoundd. They had
fully expected the colonel to suggest as
a means of escape, the voting of the
pOpulist ticket. After giving the dead
silence which followed time to soak in,
the colonel arose and told a story run
ming about as follows:
A number of years ago l visited an
insane asylum in the south, and
through the courtesy of an attendant |
was shown through the different |
wards. In the first we found a class
Of lunatics SO violent that most of !
them We're strapped in padded cells and |
were attended by numerous guards. In |
the next wards the inmates were less
violent and attendants were fewer.
Thus it continued until finally we |