The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-01-28

hoo oiiO iudu W uuuSo. Wucu III COu6S
to a showdown" To the persons of
the second class will say their fears
are groundless. Dr.v. Digger is known
the world over as a man who never
makes promise that he does not mean
to fulfill; who never undertakes the
impossible; who would rather lose his
head than his reputation. I sent him
to Egypt to dig up certain old story,
and he performed the task assigned to
him. He may not have conducted his
search as you would have suggested,
but he was successful, and therefore is
justified. For success justifies the
man. There are many who contend
that your humble servant has not ac-
cumulated his wealth according to the
rules laid down by moral philosophers.
But what's that to me? Who would be
so foolish as to expect man to keep
his mind on moral philosophy when he
is making money? Let us study philo-
sophy moral or immoral, as it suits our
several tastes, when we have nothing
else to do; but let us never forget that
business is business. L am satisfied to
leave the Golden Rule with those who
have use for it. Give me the gold; and
| notice that, whether make. a dona-
tion to the bartender, or to the deacon
when he passes the plate, or to some
charitable or educational institution,
no one ever questions me if my gold
has been extracted according to the
rules of some moral sharper. And if
the maxim, Success justifies the man"
holds true in my case it holds equally
true in DR.. v. Digger's case. He was
successful; ergo: he is justified.
As for Mr.. Smooth, that gentleman
stands SO high in the worlds respect
the puny shafts of calumny and envy
aimed at him will never touch him. I
felt it my duty to call his attention to
some of the disparaging remarks made
by his detractOrs, and asked him to
answer his carping critics. His answer
is so clear and convincing that these
hypercritical persons. who think knowl-
edge will die with them, will think
twice in the future before they attempt
to besmirch the well earned reputation
of hard working, deep thinking
student of the Smooth stamp. In a
long wireless message, received but
yesterday, he handles his critics in this
manner:
"Teli the old fogies or young upstarts
who doubt my ability to interpret cor
rectly the hieroglyphics of ancient
Egypt to cease their clustering. They
belong to that class of people who love
to hear themselves talk; whose heads
expand inordinately in the direction
outward from the regions to the right
and the left of the organ of seIf-esteem
whenever they succeed in drawing the
public's attention to them, if only
momentari!y. If it is their desire to
enter into disputation about Egypt
and things Egyptian, let them come
where am-250 feet, vertical measure
ment, from the exterior of the earth,
down in Pharaoh Tim-Rag's tomb,
munching peanuts that were roasted
1900 years ago. If, as you tell me,
those critical blockheads sneer at my
Interpretation Of the compound word
'B'Um-ReI,' asserting, as you say they
do, that it cannot mean both the gay
and the handsome Bum, they only
make it clear that what they do not
know about ancient Egypt will fill
whole library. Even superficiaLscholar
know that there was a time when off
shoots of the great Turanian race
predominated in Egypt Indeed, during
the Bum dynasty the Turanian
Hittites were numerous in Egypt, and
many became rich and powerful.
Vestiges of their language and customs
have been discovered in many, and
widely separated places in the Nile
Valley. Now, re- is Egyptian for gay,
and ell is Turanian for handsome. A
combination Of the two adjectives
forms rel gay and handsome. Could
anything be more logical? Ought not
any one at all acquainted with the
languages that were merged to form
the Egyptian language have compre-
hended the meaning of the contraction
at once? am forced to believe some
of my critics are rel foolsl''
II this explanation does not exonerate
Mr.. Smooth from the charge of inn