davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30
HvAD SkALL MAN TRIO ON
"HANS"7

l Berlin ar den markvardiga folk
| skolebildade" hasten alltjamt hjalten
for dagen.
Den preussiske generalen Zobel,
| gammal hastkannare, har / en- lang
| artikel framlagt sina skal for att
Hans verkligen ar en- till sjalfstan.
digit tankande uppfostrad varelse.
Han berattar att han redan / Novem.
| Der fora aret rakade IA hora talas ON
denna u~nderbara hast och gick till
| egaren for att taga narmare reda pa,
hur Diet hangde ihop med saken. Han
kom dit som afgjord tviflare, och efter
| de forsta uppvisningsprofven, hvarun.
der hasten flick visa sin forstaelse af
Diet tyska spraket och sin lydaktighet,
tankte han att Diet var endast dressyr.
Sa experimenterades med lasning och
rakning; ju markvardigare PROVEN
voro, desto mera skarptes generalens
misstro. Han anmodade egaren, hr
Won Osten, att binda for hastens ena
oga, sa att denne icke kunde Sc sin
here vid fragorna och svaren; delta
skedde, men f0rsoken utfollo lika bra.
Generalen kande sig dock annu inga-
lunda ofvertygad, utan gick derifran
under grubbel pa, hvari knepet kunde
besta.
Vid f6rnyade besok ofvertog genera
len sjalf ledningen. l b0rjan visade
hasten sig nu mindre intelligent - all
deles sa som EFT barn ofta / borjan
har svart att rata sig efter en- ny lara
res metod, anmarker han; men smart
voro de vana vid h~varandra, och da
gick Diet f6rtraffligt. -
Som EFT bevis pa att Hans" mycket
val vet hvad han skall svara och icke
vantar pa ledarens tecken att sluta
sina stampningar, omtalar Zobel att
han vid fraga ON SNARE tai stampar
langsamt, med h0gt lyftad hof, medan
han genast fran b0rjan at EFT Store
tai, som drar langre It'd, stampar myc-
ket hastigt och icke ger sig It'd att
lyfta upp hofven mer an ~n0dvandigt.
Hans kunskaper | matematik beteck-
mas af generalen sasom liknande en-
vanlig 13-arig gosses. -
G~eneralen intygar vidare att hasten
har gjort stora framsteg under de fem
manader. han icke sett honom; hvad
Hans" forut kunde synes nu vara en-
solid grund, hvarpa Diet y byggts.
Till slut skrifver general Zobel bland
annat:
"Hvarje bedrageri dr. uteslutet. Re
dan den omstandigheten att hr Won
Osten 1 tretton ar / all stillhet BEND
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30
HVARFoR HETTE FLICkAN
JULIETTE?

Handelsen forsiggar hos en- lakare !
Helsingborg. En- qvinna infinner sig
med sin lila dotter.
Den ~valvillige doktorn: - Hvad
heter barnet?
- Juliette.
Doktorn: - bet dr. EFT franskt MANN
- har nj bekanta i Frankrike?
Bekanta? Naa, vi kalla henne
for Juliette for hon ar Todd juldagen.
Doktorn: - Ma, da tucker jag att
Julia kunde ha, rackt.
- Naa, hon ar todd juldagen kloc-
kan EFT! y
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30
EN- NOR.
Janrik Bronze.

ON modern har man Oliver hela verl-
den en- mangd vackra ord, som visa
den betydelse hon har och den vordnad
ALA hysa for henne. Inlet land eyer
en- skald, som Ell har besjungit henne.
wi kama ALA till orden: Den hand,
som r0r vaggan, styr verlden". Ryssar-
ne hafva en- mangd uttryck for den
aktning de visa mordern. Salunda sa-
ga de-: "Utan NOR arc barnen forlo.
rade, liksom bin som mistat sin drott-
ning"- och "Moderns bon hemtar upp
fran hafvets djupaste grund".
l Italien sager a "Att vara MOI
ar att vara m~artyr!" som EFT uttryck
for moderns bekymmer, och | Venedig
stages: "Mor, NOR! Den, som har hen
ne, kallar pa henne, och den, som icke
har henne, saknar henne bittert."
/ Bohmen sager folket: "Moders
handen ar mjuk, afven mar den TUX
tar.
Hindostans befolkning sager: Fat
tig eller rik, min NOR ar min NOR.
Dessvarre har Diet ocksa uppstatt
EFT talesatt som visar att barnen icke
alltid ara sin NOR som de borde, nam
ligen Diet bekanta:
EN- fattig NOR kan forsorja sju
barn, men stu barn kunna ofta icke
f0rsorja en- NOR.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30
N DJUREN TxNKA?

En- amerikansk naturforskare John
Burroughs upptager "Harper's
Monthly Magazine" till granskning
denna gamla fraga: "Kunna djuren
tanka?" och besvarar den | Diet stora
hela med EFT bestamdt nej.
Han framhaller inledningsvis att
manga manniskor rent af villa tillagga
t. ex. VISA trad en- sorts medveten
berakning, emedan de CORA nagot som
hos en- manniska skulle forutsatta sa-
dan berakning. Thoreau har beskrifvit
huru vida %appletrad och roda hag-
tornstrad ute pa betesmarker omgifva
sig med en- skyddsmur af lagt vaxande
grenar, som vaxa utat | stallet for
uppat och salunda utestanga den be-
tande boskapen fran en- STAN midi in
ne | delta buskage, hvilken derf0r kan
vaxa upp fri och ost0rd. Men Bur
roughs papekar att dessa trads "hand-
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30
~GloMSkANS FLOD.

bet a en- gang en- stackars qvinna
hvars lif hade rakat bli sa bittert att
hon 0nskade bli qvitt minnets gafva.
Den hon hade skankt slit unga hjar-
tas karlek hade icke uppfyllt ungdo-
mems rika l0ften; hans svaghet hade
gjort honom till brottsling, sa att han
blifvit tvungen att fly for slit lif, och
de soner och dottrar hon fodt och
fostrat honom hade belonat hennes
karlek och omsorger med likgiltighet
och onda gerningar, tills de slutligen
0fvergafvo henne, en- efter AMMAN. Sa
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30

Happen komme forst in; han envisades
att bSra den pa tvaren igenom, och mar
han nagon gang lyckades ia den ige-
nom pa sned, skedde delta tydligt nog
af en- slump, ty nasta gang var Diet
lika lila igen.
Hundens f0rfader hafva aldrig be-
hoft kunna den der konsten; hans In
stinkt teg derf0r. Men vissa foglar
kunna den utan anstrangning, derfor
att deras forfader beh6ft kunna den
yid byggandet af sina bon. Sedan gar
aet mekaniskt, automatiskt alldeles
som en- dresser kan lara sina dur WIS.,
sa konster, men alltid maste lata ALT
ga | Stamina ordning som fran borjan;
| eljes klickar Diet hela, och djuren tyc-
kas hafva gl0mt samtliga konsterna.
Forfattaren sag en- gang en- bafver,
| saledes EFT ovanligt forstandigt dur,
| gnaga af EFT trad, som dock icke foil
| omkull, utan endast sankte sig ned pa
| stumpen; bafvern hade icke nog iakt-
| tagelseformaga att Sc att a skulle
| knuffa omkull tradet, utan b0rjade
gnaga pa nytt. med Stamina resultat.
| Han u~pprepade f0rsoket fyra ganger,
och den enda gnista af forstand han
yisade, var da han slutligen afstod
fran hela affaren men Diet var tyd-
ligen endast af trotthet och modstulen.
het, icke pa grund af MACON reflexion.
Eft fanget dur behofver veckor eller
manader till att komma underfund
med att all undflykt ar om0jlig. medan
en- manniska skulle inse Diet efter nag
ra minuters f0rsok. Djuret afstar icke
derf0r att Diet blifvit o~fvertygadt, blot
derf0r att Diet tappat kuraget.
En- forskare har tillagt s~valorna
forstand, derf0r att de bygga pa slit
haste med vissa mellanperioder, sa at
leran hinner torka och fastna; mel
forfattaren uppvisar att hvilostunder
ma egnas helt och hallet at att soks
f0da och leka, hvadan delta ar anled
ningen; att leran hinner torka undel
tiden ar mycket fordelaktigt for sva
lorna, men ar ingalunda orsak till up
pehallen.
En- eljes synnerligen klok liten 70
gel foretog sig en- gang, sa att forfat
taren kunde iakttaga Diet, att byggi
fyra hasten pa en- gang, blot derfor at
den rakat b6rja EFT DO pa EFT for sada
ma foglar ovanligt stale, der den ick'
kande sig hemmastadd; den markt'
intet sjalf, utan smetade lera an p'
Diet ena och an pa Diet andra boet.
En- krabba, som nyss bytt ON skal
! soker pa vanligt satt f0rsvara sig
+, delta har man velat kalla BLUR ocl
anfort sasom bevis pa krabbans slug
het, dess intelligens. Men, invande
FORT, krabban bara gor automatisk
hvad den brukat CORA; den afsta
smart fran den s. k. bluffen, icke der
for att den finner sig vara genomska
dad, utan derfor att dess forsvars
instinkt ar f0rsvagad | dess skal-los'
tillstand.
bet skulle blifva for langt att upp
rakna forfattarens ALA exempel, ocl
Diet kan vara nog med dessa.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30
Klagan ar den svagas vapen.

~
Lat bonen vara nyckeln ON NORGE
e och laset ON aftonen.
+++
Blot hvad du ar inom dig bcstam-
mer dit varde, icke hvad du har.
fl
Det kannetecknar sma sjalar att, ON
de Ida, sara de afven andra.
IA
Hvad fogeln ar, mar han med f0rla-
made vingar maste STAMINA vid jorden,
Diet ar sjalen utan bon.
/ ~
Ganska manga handler bladdra /
skriften; men blot de hopknappta fyl-
las med hennes himmelska gafvor.
+++
Manga helsa vi icke pa, emedan wi
icke kama dem t~illrackligt, och pa
andra icke, emedan vi kama dem ALT
for val.
~
Somliga manniskor ga under for att
man fordrar for mycket af dem, andra
alter derf0r att af dem fordras ingen-
ting alls
+++
Den som for att vara lycklig icke
beh0fver nagot annat an sig sjalf, den
ar lycklig.
+++
Hedendomen ar en- suck, judendo-
men ar en- f0rvantan, kristendomen an
forst och framst en- tacksagelse.
III
Hela lifvet igenom blifva vara var.
sta svagheter och lagheter begangna
for de m~anniskors skull, som vi NEST
f0rakta.
+++
ON ocksa ia manniskor arc Cesarer
- ty vi maste lata oss n0ja med att sa
ar sa star dock hvar och en- en- gang
vid slit Rubikon.
+++
Likasom just Diet klaraste Illus ka-
star den m6rkaste skugga, sd skola
ocksa de k~laraste, triumfsakraste san
ningarne alltid alstra t~vifvel; och forst
da man genomkampat och 6%fveryunnit
dem. eyer man sanningen som EFT sjalf-
~forvarfvadt, omistligt godt.
+++
Enhvar, som star | begrepp att bega
en- dalig handling, horde framfor ALT
bafva och forskrackas for Diet vittne,
som, likt en- spion pa ALA hans handlin-
gar, sitter hans eget hjarta och sam
vete och en- gang skall draga honom
fran for en- domstol och lagga honom
pa en- sadan f6rebraelsernas pirbank
att han till och med sjalf skall hog
ljudt b6rja anklaga sig inf6r and,a.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30
e. MlNsTA sTRA FoRexTEs.

FL vaxer stra pa jorden,
som himlen dagg Ell ger,
Ell ar en- blomma vorden,
mot hvilken sol Ell Ter.
Gar du med sorgset hjarta
i skogens matt allen,
Gud ger dig / din smarta
din dagg - dit sommarsken.
Da spirar hvad du gomde
som brodd | hjartats vra.
Han, som Ell sparfven gl0mde,
har sol for minsta stra.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30

Somliga manniskor gifta sig 1 en-
hast och satta sig derpa att alivarligt
tanka ofver Diet.
Andra tanka f0rst allvarligt Oliver
Diet och gifta sig derpa.
Rada satten arc riktiga ON man
traffar den rata.
Josh Billings.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30

vi tycka ALA att det var EFT fel af
Adam och Eva att de int voro beiat-
ma. Men ON de varit fullt belatna med
sig saliva och Edens lustgard, sa ha-
de de ju varit der alldeles ensamma
an l dag.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30

Det lattaste vara winner upptacka
hos oss. och Diet svaraste for oss sjalf-
va att upptacka Dir att vi bill gamla.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30

Att processa DIR ungefar som att fla
en- god mjolkko for att ge advokaten
k6ttet.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30

X~ktenskapet Dir en- gammal institu-
ton. aldre an pyramiderna och lika
full af hieroglyfer som ingen kan tyda.
Svenska monitoren., 1904-09-30
AMERikANSk FILoSoFI.

En- galande bona och en- kacklande
tupp arc EFT daligt par.
Smoker DIR som Eau de Cologne:
nagot att lukta pa, men int att svalja,
Coda rad arc SON kyssar - de kosta
ingenting, och Diet ar behagligt att gif.
va dem.
Det firms folk som undrar hvarifran
ALA l0gner komma. bet g0r inte jag.
Jag vet att en- dugtig l6gnare kan for
Sc EFT helt land.
The progress., 1904-03-26

THE season of catching cold is upon
j us. The cough and the sneeze and
nasal twang are to be heard on
every hand. The origin of chronic
catarrh, the most common and dreadful
OF diseases, is a cold.
This is the way the chronic catarrh
generally begins. A person catches cold
which hangs on longer than usual. The
cold generally starts in the head and
throat. Thenfollows ssensitivene SIS of the
air passages which incline one to catch
cold very easily. At last the person has
cold all the while seemingly, more or
less discharge from the nose hawking,
splitting, frequent clearing of the throat,
nostrils stopped up, full feeling in the
head and sore, inflamed throat.
The best time to treat catarrh is at
the very beginning. A bottle of Peruna
properly used never fails to cure COM
mon cold, thus preventing chronic
catarrh.
While many people have been cured
of chronic catarrh by single bottle OF
Peruna, yet, as rule, when the catarrh
becomes thoroughly fixed, more than
one bottle is necessa ary to complete q
cure. Peruna has cured cases innumer-
able of catarrh of twenty years stand
ing. 1t is the best, if not the only
internal remedy for chronic catarrh in
existence.
Butprevention is far better than cure.
Every person subject to catching cold
should take Peruna at once at the
slightest symptom of cold or sore
throat at this season of the year and
thus prevent what is almost certain to
end in chronic catarrh.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Montague, Ma

Montague, Mass.
FOSTER-MILBURN CO., Buffalo, N. Y,
Gentlemen,--I heartily wish those
who are suffering from backache and
disturbed acton of the kidneys would
try Doan's Kidney Pills. AS was the
case with me, they will be more than
surprised with the results. l have been
troubled for years with my spine. I
could not lie on either side. Spinal
cramps would follow, and words could
not explain the agony which l would
endure. While in these cramps could
not speak or move. but by making
q great effort after the cramp had
left me I could begin to speak and
move little, but my whole back was
30 sore and lame that could not even
have my back bathed for some time.
My nerves were in terrible state. /
would rather sit up at night than go
to bed, dreading the cramps and the
terrible backaches. consulted physi-
clans, but got only a little relief for tho
time being. Seeing your advertisement,
my mother urged me to try Doans
Kidney Pills. After using one box
was better, and have ever since been
on the gain. l have no backache and
no cramps now, and l feel like a new
person. My nerves are better and I
know my blood is purer. Words can
not express my thanks to you for what
Doan's Kidney Pills have done for me-
In my work as professional nurse l
have a chance to recommend them;
and they did me so much good that l
will do so on every possible occasion.
HATTIE BRIGHAM, Nurse.
Doan's Kidney Pills are sold at so
cents per box. Address Foster-Mil-
burn Co., Buffalo, N. Y, for free
tr{o1 hov
The progress., 1904-03-26
FOR FACIAL BLEMISHES.
A Few Remedies and Suggestions for
the Improvement of
the Skin.

To remove yellow stains from the
face, first dry an ounce of rose leaves
add half pint of white vinegar and
let it stand for eight or ten days; then
drain off the vinegar and add to it hall
a pint of rose water. Apply with a
sponge and allow it to dry on the face,
advises American Queen.
Stains on the neck caused by black
or colored ribbon can be removed by
bathing in borax water in the proper
ton of tablespoonful to two quarts OF
water, and by wiping the neck with a
lotion composed of one ounce of acetic
acid, two ounces Of glycerin and three
ounces of rose water If the stain be
deeply dyed, little lemon Juice in wa
ter will be effectual.
The diet is usually responsible for a
red face In such cases drink nothing
hot, but take cooling drinks, such as
lemonade or tea, cooled, but not ice
cold. Use neither very cold nor very
hot water on the face. Luke warm wa
ter is better.
A daily walk of at least two miles
will improve pale or sallow skin. The
walk should be brisk, the brea thing
deep and the exh alations slow.
The progress., 1904-03-26
BRIDEGROOM WAS NERVOUS.
ne Thought the Parsen Was IN Tel
Big . Hurry for the Wed.
ding Fee.

Rt. Rev. Dr.. Leighton Coleman. bish.
op of Delaware, told the following story,
says the Philadelphia Telegraph, to somG
friends in town whom he was visiting ~.
Gently:
"A young man came up to me one day
with the remark: Bishop, want you to
marry me on next Wednesday.
"'All right; I'll marry you.'
"'Well, l want the church bell to ring
eyes, you can have the bell rung.
"'Well, l want the organ to play
"'All right, you can have the organ.
"'And l want everything else anybody
ever had at church wedding.
".You shall have it,
"Well, the night came, the bell rang,
the organ played, the church was crowd
ed, and everything went off as the young
man wanted it. When the ceremony wa:
over the young couple waited, instead OF
leaving the chancel. So l held out my
hand. shook hands with the bride, and
then held out my hand to the bridegroom.
He had his hand deep in hi! trousers
pocket, and as stood with my hand out,
he said, somewhat impatiently, and in .
tone that could be heard all over the
church:
"i'm getting the money out just a.
fast as l can.'
"Then everybody in the church giggled."
The progress., 1904-03-26
Washinrton Cake.

Two cupfuls of white sugar. one cup
tul of butter, one cupful of sweet milk
and four eggs. Beat the whites and
yolks separately; add three cupfuls Of
-four, one-half u teaspoonful of soda and
teaspoonful of cream of tartar. Bake
in round. fiat tin pans. Peel and crate
.wo large apples and the rind of lem
On; add also the strained Juice Of the
latter, one heaping cupful of white sugar
and one egg. Mix well, and let it boil up
in a stew pan. Pour IL out and when
quite cool spread it over the cakes. which
must be placed one over the other in
ayers just as in making jelly cake
Agricultural EpitOmist,
The progress., 1904-03-26
VERY EASY FOR HER.
Not So Good Mt Figures, But the Prob.
lem Was just One OF
Her Kind.

A "womans reason" with all its tradi'
tional lack of logic, came out in an anus.
ing fashion at recent dinner party 10
Brooklyn, relates the New York, Times.
In the course Of the evening the hsa conter ItsI.
sation drfted around 70 shGse %ewo1di,Ann odd ANN
variety, when one Of the company, with
explanations that the next problem would
not be very difficult one, questioned as
follows:
81 10, and the bottle cost dollar more
than the cork, how much did the cork
COST" IT.:
WHY. the cork cost five cents and the
bottle II O5. That's too easy"
The adys husband familiar mil wo.fI thrGase lasn
Of skin in figures, looked up in astonlsh'
meut. , "I Ala
Won come to get that so soon"
"Why, my DEAR" was the reply, corks
always cost five cents, don't they!
The progress., 1904-03-26
FANCY DRESS DETAILS.
Some of the Fashionable Trihes That
Are Now Catching the Fem
fninc Eye.

Dark blue and red spangled tulle and
mousseline are used for party gowns,
says the Brooklyn Eagle.
Nearly all the bodices of Partisan de-
sign showed the pointed effect achieved
either by the draped cincture or in the
cut of the material.
For ball dresses there are some lovely
jewel sprinkled mousselines, gauzes,
nets, flowered silks and filmy and silk
stuffs of every description.
A coiffure ornament that was exceed
ingly becoming to its gray-haired wearer
consisted Of a spray of deep violet and
mauve shaded pansies, into which was in
troduced small piece of rare fine old
lace.
Silver and gold tissue is being deftly
introduced not only into the fashioning
Of bridal gowns, but on dinner and eve
ming gowns, as also on fur, felt, panne
and even tulle> millinery.
An English novelty in the jewelry line
is the calendar watch. an ingenious con-
trivance which leaves the front dial
quite plain, as in ordinary watches, and
reserves the back for showing the cal
endar mechanism.
shawl shaped cloak trimmed with
silk fringe and Venetian point lace Is
one of Dame Fashions latest fancies.
The progress., 1904-03-26

had good appetite but my food did
not nourish my system. l had como
down from 140 to about rs pounds in
weight. / now feel that am we'll of
all my troubles. Mrs. A. Snedeker.
Send for free book on catarrh, entitled
"Winter Catarrh," by DR.. Hartman.
"Health and Beauty" sent free to
women only.
Ifyoudo not derive prompt and salts
factory results from the use of Peruna,
write at once to DR.. Hartman, giving .
full statement of your case and he will
be pleased to give you his valuable ad-
vice gratis.
Address DR.. Hartman, President OF
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, 0.
The progress., 1904-03-26
A. he WOULD Put It.

49," demanded the cross-examinins
lawyer, you desire to make a categor-
ical denial Of all these charges, dc
your"
mo, sor," answered the witness. but
I'll say there amt a doggoned worrud
of truth in any of them. Chicago Rec
ord-Herald,
The progress., 1904-03-26

That l thOught 1
would try it and
see what it would
do for me. My
case is an old one
and l have none
of he o c u t 9
symptoms n ow,
because / have
had the disease
SO long that l had
none of the aches
and pains, but a
general rundown
condition of the
whole body-sore
nose and throat
IL
The progress., 1904-03-26
Beyond His Years.

Small Harold was reading aloud to his
mother about q ship, and came across
this passage: "And she began to steam
slowly down the bay"
why is a ship called She Harry"
his mother asked.
"Oh," replied the little fellow. 81 sup
pose it's because she has to have man
to boss r."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The progress., 1904-03-26
A Point of Pride.

why don't you try to do something
for your country?"
my dear SIR" answered Senator
Sorghum, Il am doing all l can for my
country. I am going to at last spare it
the disgrace of having posterity say
that one of its most prominent officials
died in comparative poverty. Wash
ingtOn Star
The progress., 1904-03-26
Boiled Cabbage.

There will be no dlsagreeable odor
Turing the cooking of cabbage or caul-
flower IL put on in cold water to which
has been added good pinch Of baking
soda. They must be cooked about 20
minutes after the water reaches boil
and the saucepan should be left uncov-
sred during the entire process.
The progress., 1904-03-26

Leftrich formerly Saymold Storey
acknowledging introduction at club)-
Seems to me we met once before, In g
Pullman sleeper.
Fellaire (formerly Rusty Rufus)-
Quite likely. One meets all sorts OF
people in ones travels.-Chicago Tri-
bupe
The progress., 1904-03-26
Quite n Different Thing.

George says he never has so good a
time as when he is out with me-" as
serted the girl in brown.
Does he really?" returned the girl in
gray commiseratingly. Now, Alfred
is quite different. When he's out with
me he's unhappy until he makes 1t up. F"
Brooklyn Eagle.
The progress., 1904-03-26
starch for Pillow sIyp..

1t is generally thought that a little
tarch in pillow slips and handkerchiefs
keeps them clean longer than If Lot
ytarched
The progress., 1904-03-26

Towne-He's quite successful in bust.
ness. He deserves great credit.
Browne-Nonsense! His father was
a rich man.
Towne-EXactly, and being the son oi
a rich man he deserves credit for hav-
ing amounted to something.-Philadel-
phia Press.
The progress., 1904-03-26
A PropositiOn.

"A kind lady gev me an old vest yis-
tidy dat had de name O. your firm in
it, an it fits me fine." said Ragson Tat
ters, the tramp. :.
"Well?" said the tailor.
well. If you'll gimme a coat an pair
O. pants to 60 wild it I'll give yer tes-
timonial sayin' you clo'es is de best fit
tin ever wore e"-Philadelpnia Press.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Rarely Experienced.

I'VE want a man for our information
bureau" said the manager, but he must
be one who can answer ali sorts of ques-
tions and not lose his head"
That's me-" replied the applicant.
I'm the father of eight children
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Not in the Swim.

Mrs. Suddenrich--I never heard no
such way of talkin' as you've got into
at boardin' school.
Daughter-I've learned to speak as
the teachers do.
Mrs. Suddenrich-Well, JUS drop 1t.
Them poverty-stricken hirelings don't
move in our .set.-N. Y. Weekly.
The progress., 1904-03-26

Lady Guest Ito host, who mates get
ting up early)-I'm so awfully sorry to
have dragged you up at this unearthly
hour. but had to catch the 80 train.
Host-Not at all. I'm only too glad
to be able to see you of.-Punch.
The progress., 1904-03-26

Mamma-It's very wrong Of you, Tom
my-I thought you would have known
better than to fight with your little
friend like that!
Tommy Ia vanquished one)-So do
now. But thought could lick him!-
Ally Sloper.
The progress., 1904-03-26
summer and winter.

Each time its share of toll will bring.
No idling need we know.
When there's no snow for shoveling
There will be lawns to NOV.
Washington Star.
The progress., 1904-03-26
Up-to-Date Testimonial.

Gladys" said Chumley to his man.
nish sister, I've done so much for you.
you should write me testimonial"
"A testimonial?"
Eyes. You might say: Dear Broth
er-Once l was timid. delicate girl.
but since using your collars and ties
have become new woman Tit.
Bits.