The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-05-21
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4
the gas is escaping in there. Country
man inside OF room 55)--No, it amt:
] locked the door.--Ex.
Mother Johnny Jones. did you get
that awful cold out skating? Son
Mother, think / caught it washing
my face yesterday morning.-Judge.
Chnmply-I don't know whether /
ought to take your daughter from her
fathers roof. Her Father-She doesn't
live on the roof.--Philadelphi Bulle-
tin. s..
81 say, Broomv' "Call me by my
whole name, if you please. 1t has a
handle to it, and 1t was meant to be
used, SIR" '"That's so. Well, Broom
handle, how are your
Curioso-Your name is Ephraim, is
1t? How'd your parents come to give
you that name? Modestus-I don't
know for certain, but suspect it was
because I was a boy.-Boston Tran
script.
women claim that the way to get
on with man is to give him plenty
VA AASCAJ SOOhCA 4OOAs VClp I'LL
swered Sirius Barker, irritably. "why
don't some of them try it2"-Washing-
ton Star.
A Great Debt: Bragg owe moth
ing to any man. Newitt-Oh, yes, you
do. Bragg-No, sir! Newitt-Oh, yes.
You owe an apology to every man who
has to listen to you blow.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Improvement at the Gas Office: Ibid
you have any luck when you went to
complain about the gas bill?" Better
luck than last month";" answered Mr..
Meekton; "the man didn't laugh this
tjme."-Ex.
Magistrate (sternly)-Didn't tell
you the last time you were here new
err wanted you to come before me
again? Prisoner-Yes, sir, but
couldn't make the policeman believe
it.-New Yorker.
Funny about Ralston wanting his
former wife to get divorce from her
second husband so that they might get
, married again" mot very. He's al"
ways been falling in love with other
mems wives."-Ex.
+ Daily Guide to Flattery: If there is
: something on the table that the
hostess knows is SO badly cooked that
. she feels bored about 1t, ask for more
!. and eat it with the greatest apparent
. relish.-Baltimore American.
t "Have you any taste for Thacke-
;, ray?" asked Mrs. Oldcastle. "No,
/. can't say that l have" replied her
t hostess; lis that anything like this
i paprika they're putin in everything
e now ?'-Chicago Record Herald.
. What he Would Rather Have Ex-
e pressed Differently: Gushing Lady
4 Oh, but Mr.. Jones, should love to be
t beautiful-even If for only half an
r hour! Jones-Yes; but you wouldn't
e like the coming back again!-Punch'
Conductor-All aboard! Please get
aboard quickly, Miss; the train IL
about to start Young Lady-But I
wish to kiss my sister good-by. Con-
t ductor-Get aboard, get aboard; I'll
attend to that for you.-Yale Record.
: "Coal vases?" said the hardware
: merchant. Eyes, SIR" Something
n nicely japanned" mo, sir" said the
y customer a man with fierce mustach
9 ard a foreign accent; haven't you
e something IN Russia n?"-Chicagc
: Tribune.
How to Hold Actors: at always
y makes me mad to talk to an actor. He
y pretends to listen politely, but his at
tention is wandering all the time. Eve1
:, notice it?" "No. I always talk tt
a them about themselves" -Philadel
. phia Ledger.
Owner Of Fishpond Ito man who ID
< trespasslng)-Don't you see that sign
: mo fishing here? Angler-Yes, and
= l dispute it. Why, there's good fish
< ing here. Look at this basketful. The
that board up.
"a ut was only five years ago that
q started in with our firm at five dollars
h week." said Bragg, land now l carr
h fifty a week without any trouble
v That's SO; it's easy to earn that" re
q |
n get?"-Philadelph Press.
t Ida don't believe Mr.. Smart be
l1eves my handkerchiefs are linen
s. May-Why not? Ida told him
10 had my pin money wrapped in my
handkerchief and lost it. He sale
l. there was a great deal of money los
n in cotton these days.-Chlcago News
e Tommy-To-morrow's your birthday
amt it, ma? l wisht 1 had a dollar
I'd buy you a present. Ma-That'
thoughtful Of you, my dear. But VIII
y do you need a dollar? Tommy-'Caus
that's the price Of it. It's the dand
~ est catcher's mask you ever saw
- Philadelphia Press.
Fond Mother don't know what t
"a do. l want to send my daughter t
college. and yet don't want to sem
her into the world unprotected Wis
-3ns4or xyho hoe obSopvo6 fho Aourb