River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1904-10-13
AN ARTFUL DODGER
JUDGE PARKER'S DExTERITY IN
THE ART OF EVASION.
A Few Reflections Upon the Demo-
cratic Candidates Letter of hccep-
lance Document that Does Not
Convince the Reader.

Few people outside of those politically
interested will be found who claim to
have waded through all of Alton b.
Parker's letter of acceptance. Those
who have performed the feat must ad-
nit fatigue. Although the tone of the
letter is more clear and emphatic than
chat of the nerveless and inspid speech
of acceptance, it is without that supreme
quality which fixes attention. AS one
reads the mind wanders. The perform
ance, in short, is not convincing.
In some passages there is marked evil
dence of the foxy cleverneSs of David
Bennett Hill. Here is the voice of
Jacob indeed, but the hand is the hand
of Esau. But, even with the injection
of Hill there is little in the document
to ward off the gentle influences of
Sunderland.
In his remarks upon imperialism"
intended to be impressive, the judicial
candidate succeeds only in being solemn
and dull, and his long words and long
sentences lead nowhere, for he gives no
instances of the violation of the liber-
ties and constitutional rights he is so
anxious to uphold. He merely winds
round and round the subject he has
introduced with a flourish, as "Consti-
tutional VS.. Imperialism" and ends
abruptly with a general and scattering
fire upon an imaginary determined. am
bilious and able executive" who might,
could, would or should do something
'real deviish" some day, if the Repub-
icans are retained in power.
viii Not Follow Democrats.
A,NI Sc ka
good many things, or, possibly he
doesn't forget Perhaps he never knew
much about the history of the people of
the United States.
SHALL WE FOLLOW THE
FOOTSTEPS OF OUR FATHERS
ALONG THE PATHS OF PEACE,
PROSPERITY, AND CONTENT-
MENY' he asks.
NOT UNDER THE LEADERSHIP
OF THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY,
comes a many-voiced reply.
When has the Democratic party ever
led among the pleasant fields of peace,
along the streams of prosperity where
fed the fat focks of contentment?
PEACE!
What party plunged this nation into
| such a war of Rebellion as the world
has never seen, and kept it there, at
| untold expense of blood and tears and
| treasure for four long years2
PROSPE RITY!
What party undermined the wealth
and productive force, the credit and the
industrial life of the United States TO
| the appalling conditions of 1893, con-
ditions which so worked upon the minds
OF men as to render them easy victims
to the schemes and visions of the silver
craze of 1896.
GONTI9NTSM ENT! p,
What party has fostered within its
bosom all the tireless agitators, the dis
| turbers, cranks and misanthropic pessi-
mists, who have bad a full hand in a
| full country!
Save us from the Democratic version
of peace, prosperity and contentment!
Further Evasions.
In his utterances upon the "lmperiaP'
bogy Mr.. Parker is gushing. When it
gets to the tariff he settles down into
the jog-trot of party dullness and fog.
In his discussion of pension order, No.
rs, he begins lodging questions with
| neat dexterity, and he keeps this up,
| with varying success throughout the let
| ter executing a grand summersault when
whizzing by the trusts.
The amusing assumption OF Republi-
can ideas on the Panama Canal, the
irrigation of arid lands, foreign relations
and American citizenship need no COM
ment They constitute what is an old
story to Republicans, but may come
as revelation to Democrats.
Following President Roosevelts ex-
ample, Mr.. Parker winds up his letter
with eight or ten questions but in select
ing the questions Mr.. Parker departed
from the excellent model at first chosen
and asks only questions which answer
themselves.
1t is comforting to be assured that
the Democratic candidate and his assO-
ciates await the peoples verdict with
calmness and confidence"
SO do the people themselves, especial
ly the Republicans among them. There
is really nothing to get furried about;
nothing to scare the most timid Demo
crat in the bunch of scary brethren.