The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-11
MATRlM0NY.


stranger with whom we happen to meet
on the journey of life. The marvel is,
not that we lose so often, but that we
win at all. Girls. who would not be
permitted to select a silk frock by
themselves, are trusted to choose a
husband. Callow youths whose judg-
ment is so immature their property is
held in trust for them until they arrive
at years of discretion, are considered
to have mind enough to pick out a wife.
Yet marriage. for women at least is
the great event of life. Compared to
It. being born is a mere incident, and
dying a trifiing episode. True. the di-
vorce courts nowadays, make it a lit
tie less permanently arrangement than
dying. but no legislation has ever done
away with the unhappiness, the bit
terings, and heartburning caused by an
unfortunate marriage.
Men and women are poor card play
ers because they always play their own
hand without reference to anyone
else's. And that's the way we play the
game of matrimony. We look at our
own hands. We say I'VE love" and we
forget it is not a simple game when
we can call for our partners best and
go it alone
The trouble is you see, that there are
so many rules to the game, and so
many exceptions, and one only learns
when it is best to bluff, and better to
hedge, after one has been playing 1t
very long time, and then it's too late.
One of the great troubles is that eX
Il saf
life. Then we have made all our deci-
sions, we have played out the game,
and we have no need of the dearly
bought knowledge. When we make
our fatal matrimonial choice we need
all the worldly wisdom, the keen in
sight into character, the broad expert
ence of a life time. And what do we
have? Nothing on earth but I'M
limited ignorance, utter inexperience,
and stupendous credulity. The cruelty
of the thing is appalling.
Did you ever think there are two
times in a womans life when she is liza
BILE to marry anybody who asks her?
This is when she is seventeen and TWEEN
ty-seven, but between these ages she
picks and chooses, and if she commits
matrimony it is q case of meeting her
ideal or outside influence.
If a debutante doesn't marry the
first man who asks her it is because
her guardian angel is attending strictly
TO business and Shoes off the danger.
1t isn't the girls fault. To a girl the
thought that she has inspired affection
in a mans heart is so unutterably
flattering, and she feels so grateful to
him for singing her out from the bal
ance of her sex that she easily per-
suades herself she is in love.
She is full of the romance and poe
try she has been reading all of her life,
ND 5r fs1 tfNrf to.
pend ii on a live object. She is play
ing Juliet off her own bat, and the
game intoxcates her with its excite
ment. Besides, she has not yet learned
that love is seldom a fatal complaint
with men. and it makes her shudder
TO think of breaking a heart and
wrecking a life. Consequently she is
apt to say yes only too often to
find out, if she marries, that loves
young dream is a nightmare.
BY the time she is 10 it is no longer
ANY man. 1t is SOME man. She has
begun to have an ideal He must be
tall, and dark, and passionate looking,
with mysterious past. Preferably his
faith should have been shaken in his
kind and he should take desperate and
pessimistic views of life. Until he met
her her heart was ashes but her purity
and innocence restore his tottering be-
lief in humanity, and turns existence
once more into an Eden. II is at this
time that a girl is attacked with acute
missionary fever. and is liable to mar
ny a drunkard to reform him.
At twenty her ideal has changed. 1t
is more practical and less romantic,
She cuts out the looks and the hard
luck story, and adores strength and
earnestness and lofty way of look
ing at things. She becomes a hero
worshipper and burns incense before
matinee idols and social settlement
workers, and discovers unappreciated
geniuses i'm newspaper scribblers and
long haired poets. This is the time
when the curate and the Angora fra
ternity generally have their innings,
and when, unless she has somebody to
save her life, a girl is apt to marry
poet or elope with her music teacher.
Twenty-Five is a time of comparative
safety. She has begun to enjoy her
self and achieve a certain philosophy.
She still looks forward to matrimony
as she does to heaven as the reward
of the blest, but she is in no hurry to
enter into it. She is having too good
time as it is, and she hesitates to ex-
change the violets and candy of many
admirers for the bread and butter of
one. This is tine time when a girl uses
her head as we'll as her heart when she
selects a life partner, and when she is
most apt to make a wise choice.
At q all the danger signals ought
to be set. At that age woman gets
into a panic. She sees that all the
girls who were her contemporaries are
married, and perceives suddenly that
she has been pushed aside by the
younger set. She is asked to chap
erone parties instead of dance at them.
few gray hairs have made their
appearance. Old maidenhood is star
ing her in the face and her nerve de-
serts her She plunges wildly and
takes the first thing that offers. This
Is the time when a woman is almost
sure TO make a foolish match. She
marries the old beau who has been
hanging on for years. or the widower
with seven small children, and spends
the balance of her life wondering what
made her do it,
At 50 il she has passed safely over
the panic period, she begins to per-
ceive that spinsterhood has much to
recommend il. She has grown "A lit
tie cynical about love from having
seen so much Of 1t that gave out UNI
der the first stress of matrimony, and
II she marries she is pretty sure 10
have weather eye upon an estab-
lishment.