West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-07-28

Bet JACK Brown his last Month S
Pension that Dawson would Cap
ture Tax Reform.
Brother Dawson will Attempt to
Swallow the Governors Pie Next
November
My days OF rejoicing are at hand. can.
not recall when Eel, so supcrlauvely happy
as do at the present time aud the Rcpub.
lican State Convention Is responsible for
tt. They captured Tax Reform and nomi.
mated my old friend and neighbor Wm. NJ
o. Dawson. for Governor For twenty-five
odd years Bro. Bill Dawson and myself
showed the lead pencil side by side. When
failed to agree with him that the moon
was made ot green cheese he forthwith in.
auguraied war against me- II was Of
snort duration Tor / was compelled 10
cheese IL. Iicnccforth Bro Bill was the
1ly cheese. never disagreed with him
after this. II the night was as dark as A
column OF negroes coming up to The polls
u vote and Bro, Bill said IL was daylight I
solrmmlJ agreed with him. lie was alWa,s
misicriul and rcsourccful lie never fail
J TO carry his point, and when he started
out to catch Tax Reform / bet my last
pension check with Jack Brown that hc
would catch it. Jack was famous coon
hunter in his day. lie recognized no super
Tor. aud but one his equal, Iay Bona6eId
oi fuunelton. So he went to Tunncltou
and consulted Bro Bonafcld. and returned
TO kingwood aud offered to wager every
dollar he was worth, to my pension checks
Tor lie. that Bro Dawson would not cap.
ture Tax Reform called up Sheriff Len.
hart over the long distance telephone and
laid the be; before him The Sheriff said.
Dawson is swimming the Ohio river and il
he does not drown before hc reaches the
other shore he will capture Tax Reform"
That settled IT, made haste to hunt up
Jack knew that Bro. Bill would never
drown for he had not tasted water since he
left Kngwood. Politics and water don't
mix No pie.hunter ever won on drinking
water. The delegates returning from the
Wheeling Convention tell me that water
was not on the bill OF fare. High balls and
hot scotch was the prevalent liquid TO
quench their thirst for gore. Every high
oall called for more gore. When I found
Jack lac had changed his mind and conclud
ed that one pension check was enough for
him as lac was heavy tax payer and was not
sure whether lax Reform was going to ex
empt him from taxation. Besides. the Aims
house was close al hand where / could seek
shelter. But l am contenied for / have
been celebrating on the $r7 won from
Jack while he is chewing his army and
navy tobacco finer than he has for several
years.
am not going to write a biographical
sketch OF Bro Biil Dawson. am not DOS.
sessed OF the Imagination to do il Justice
leave u TO those who have an intimate ac.
quaintancc with the dictionary and the art
Of word painting I am going to indulge in
a few facts the only language know
When ] returned from the war Of the
sixties. accompanied by comrades Leroy
Shaw, Ed Messenger, Hen Beatty. Bill Me.
near aud score Of others met Bro BIZ
Dawson and informed him that the war
was over. Bro Dawson smiled blandly and
politely told me 7 was dreaming He
smiled again and said.
The war has just begun propose 10
take hand ia u and show you old veter.
ans how to fight Tie pie.wagon has not
been captured We must make a fight for
il. You old veterans may know the taste
Of hard tack and pork and beans but YOU
are not familiar with the taste Of pic.
This IS reserved for those who saved the
country / am one Of them and proud Of
IT, We must give the enemy no quarter.
am soldier who glories In warfare NV
days OF usefulness must be spent in FIGHT.
ing Tor the pie.wagon ] am young and
ambitious you are old and need a pension.
You fight Tor The pension and I will hght
for Use pie. There arc many pensions bot
few pies The neglect Of dentistry while
IN Che army makes you toothless for pie.
My moiars arc silver and gold filed and
crowned. have had them bridged that
pie may crawl on them. The pies are for
me now and forevcrl"
How well do remember bis words Not
one Of us had heard Of the pic wagon while
in The army We had followed the army
wagons many days tired and foot sore
We bad charged on the suffers wagon
more than once. Bot we found no pies.
Comrades Shaw Messeugcr Mencsr and
Beatty will recognize the truthfulluess OF
this and sigh When they read it. twill be
deep and genuine sight We would glad
~ have acknowledged an introduction TO
one.
"us 90 was th7t Bro 800 Dawson began
h's campaign OF warfarc on the innocent
r...
que wagon in 'he latter days Of The sixties
"'' %" 'hese days he has kept myself and
'"J oe'' ''- comrades BOO tlc rear OF thc
p'- wagon "H"e De has occupied thc front
scat rs "nF wonder ihat we marvel st