The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-02-21

Instead of explaining Saucette the Second got Dibs Brannigan to escort her to the Dance Hall Franchise. Dibs was huge and heavy, with jaw like a mon- key wrench; and once, at the Island, Soapy had suffered Dibs to save him from drowning, to the end that he might be tintyped with his arm around Dibs's lady friend, while Dibs was rushing for whls- key. This thing had ranked in the mind of Dibs, so when saucette smiled upon him he was there," as he would have said, with both feet" Since Saucette's papa ''had it in" for Dibs because of a slight fracas at the polls, 1t will be seen that Saucette gave promise as a historical heroine.
 She accomplished a quarrel scene en- titled conventionally Young Hearts and Hot Heads" and, following the best au- thorities. penned a fresh caption, Hos tilities Begin" Given a dashing hero such as Soapy the proper foil is an honest, numbering gawk. and Dibs looked the part from head to feet especially his feet. as he piloted Saucette about the floor, to the professors encouraging. Viola, you'se got the slide down poyfiick nest ce pas?" Whereat Dibs eyed a lone, | morose figure drinking sarsaparilla dash ed with wormwood and grinned hugely. Just as Saucette was preparing for Soaps passionate appeal. to be met by some task of probation, Soapy suddenly developed the historical sense and chris tened chapter third, "The Unexpected Happens" by laying violent siege to Miss Name Corners, a fiedgling of auburn hair, freckles to match, and an efferves- | cent giggle. Saucette gasped, without | precedent; the Risingham's greatest con | cession had been to kiss a general in order to win her estranged lovers re- | prieve. Soapy's magnificent defiance of l the conventionalities shocked Saucette; | she lost her head-something which the | Risingham never did. even when the whole mess drank her health standing on | the table-and circulated the report that she and Dibs were engaged. Soapy merely doubled his attentions until Miss Corners got airs and took to blushing | bridishiy when they led the grand march. Saucette shot her last bolt by fabricating secret marriage, which rumor spread even unto the ears of Dibs. The reputa- ton of matrimony, without It's obliga- | tions, quite turned his head; he became at once oobnoxiously protective.
 Here Soapy shook the wax from his feet and vanished. A lovers motive Is | always complex. Miss Corners glggle will explain sufficiently. Thereafter Dibs l experienced a certain tolerance from Saucette; and one night, perceiving her steal into the hall, he followed cautiously.
 At the foot of the stairs. beneath the fickerlng gas jet, stood two figures.
 II got your letter." Soapy was saying, jelly. ian I happened to be passing. I'd have wrote, but you being married"-
 But I'm not" insisted Saucette, rather plaintively for the Risingham.
 "Oh that's all right" he sneered; I'm no squealer."
 Honest, I'm not" pleaded saucette. ''To that thing!3 And she so epitomized Dibs that he writhed in the darkness.
 ''Foist you was married" unused Soapy. land now yer not. When a goirs hitch ed she's got her lines to prove it. Now, what you want is lines to prove you ain't. This here certifies that such and such parties ain't been joined in holy matrimony, an cetera. Your gentleman friend could fix 1t up for you. An now" he concluded. rising to rarified heights of irony, "as there might be a wife and children waitin up for me, think I'll move the boat"
 afresh on Dibs and faltering that her father had heard rumors, suggested writ ten disproof. It also explains why Dibs. who could see through stone wall when there was hole in it, complied grimly as follows:
 "To all 1t may concern:-None of your dam business, and can prove 1t any time anywheres, Sundays preferred.
 D. Brannigan.
 "P. S.-Left arm tied behind me3
 In. fact, Saucette had reached that chapter so aptly entitled in historical novels. "The Plot Thickens." Doubtless she would have written premature tear stained "Finis' had not the professor just then taken his fortune at flood by crystallizing his patronage into a club and giving an inaugural ball, The quarter was flooded with the following advertisement, cunningly disguised as a typewriter letter:
 Dear Friend Clarence-It affords me great pleasure to drop you these few lines. When I last seen you, was not aware that Wednesday, November 2S, is | Thanksgiving Eve. as you know that my lady friends and self always take in the annual Bal Masque of the P. Bending Von-vivant Club on that night. 1t being one of the swellest affairs anywheres Tn New York. for I know you would enjoy 1t If you have never went
 If agreeable, will meet you there. dressed as a ballet girl. having a pink garter with blue bow on my right limb just below the knee, and my friend Pearl. the blonde. will be dressed as Edna May, the Salvation Army girl. and to see my | friend and Edna May you could not tell the difference. Will now close, with best
 
 Flossie
 Saucette learned that Soapy was going. and conceived a desperate stroke She | would lure Dibs thither and precipitate | a fight arrest would follow and Dibs | would dlsgorge the truth in the police | court. Incidentally, he might also con tract a black eye. The professor had | influenced his entire clientele unto Grimm the costurner in consideration of ten | per cent and thus it chanced that Dibs and Soapy collided at Grlmm's, scowling muturily "A costume with sword to | it," Soapy overheard. and watched his rival flourishing a rakish rapier. Soapy 1 strolled across to 3 closet full of old | properties. whstling thoushtfully. When Dibs had gone he selected 'ponderous claymore remarking. "I guess the rig that goes with thisll do me. He was discouraged to find that 1t was kits and | bare knees, kut stuck to his resolution. 1 These rapyeers" he reasoned stab like | a pocket knife an this here one woiks more like a nightstick. so I guess I'd | back 1t any day"
 Soapy began his Thanksgiving at Wed nesday noon. and when he stepped on | the noor that night as Charles the Pre- | tender he was in splendid condition. The | Hcraplng Of the fiddles made him feel | ike clogging the hashy scene of lights, l gay dresses and tricolored festoons made ! nm nm reel ike whooping; he sighted an | 1iherlcah Iah nag waved his bonnet and | looseu u gallery whistle. then cakewalked | among the maskers and shook bands | with everybody. AdoptIne a deen stern | tone suitable to the Pretender. he inouir- l ed of Napoleon, MephistopheIes and Gan.