, 1904-09-07
MAN ABOUT
TOWN
Z Writes a Few Paragraphs
10 AmuSe Himself and TO
Bore Others
BY OUR SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT

sneak outright. 1t is a pleasure and
delight with some people to be blunt
and outspoken in their language, while
others are always c~onsiderate and
thoughtful of peoples feelings. The
latter have a knack, a gift, which
everyone is not fortunate enough to
possess.
has the right idea. He practiced it Oh
one of his clerks not long ago and it
worked like a charm. 1t was an un-
usually busy morning at A Co.'S.
office. The morning papers arrived
and one of the usually diligent clerks,
a yerv nice sort of a fellow, casually
picked up one of the papers and was
attracted by an unusually interesting
war headline. Before many seconds
he became e%ngrossed in reading the
entire article. Absentmindedly he
found his way to a comfortable arm
chair by the window and there he sat
with the ease of a millionaire. After
about fifteen minutes of this undis-
tIrbed bliss he was noticed by MI.
A. who whistled in surprise,
scratched his head and wrinkled his
brow What did it mean? Not want
ing to break the siesta too suddenly he
puzzled his brain for d moment. A
bright idea struck him and he pulled a
cigar out of his pocket, ia ten center
took an ash tray and some matches
of of the desk and handing them to
another clerk, gave him the wink, and
instructed him to offer the cigar to the
absent minded clerk with his compli-
ments and best wishes for perfect COM
fort.
The deed was done. The engrossed
clerk looked up, dazed like, at the
cigar, said: 'No-eh-eh-yes-I-I
will. Thank YOU lit the cigar and
took a puff. Then the situation
dawned upon him and he jumped up
and went to work, not saying a word
until noon.
Y Y y
Now, every employer does not use
the same gentle means of s'popping the
question: Another Wildwood bust
ness man, usually very modest and
gentle, discovered II of his clerks
doing of to sleep in a chair during
the busiest hour of the day. A stamp
m~oistening sponge soaked with water
lay Within easy reach. Our dignified
busy man snatched it up, took aim and
fired. The damp sponge caught the
unrighteous CLERK in the region of the
eyes and struck with a spatl The clerk
jumped about two feet clear of his
chair and let Out an unearthly squeal,
almost unJointing his bones-but he
took the hint. Here is where ] wish to
morallze. That clerk was so
the rest OF the day he could hardly
work, therefore the employer was the
loser. If he had broken the news
gently, just see what he would have
gained
Y y "
One OF the popular young mel sum-
merlng at Wildwood got into a whole
peck OF adventures the other evening.
he had beer out sparkling so twas
rumoredi anyhow he arrived at his
lodging house at a very early hour lin
Inc morning.. After fumbling his
way Into the house he laid his new
defoy hat and his coat on the table
then started to feel for the electric light
outloh. After running his hands over
lhe walls and ceiling for several min
uies he located the button but the elec-
tflc light failed to work. So he struck
match, caught sight of a pitcher of
water a a glass on the table before
49, - lilCQs dId 6LdIIGQ LOMdIu
II. lie nlled the glass with water and
ofahk deep and long, draining the cup
eVerY drop. He was very thirsty.
When through he suspicioned the
wafer tasted rather peculiar. flat and
iinsipid. Then the thoughts of the
hundreds OF people who yearly acct
dentally drink poison through careless
hess, rushed through his brain. He
bttHIlH 1laPVand oaI cfr,1I- aDl%IUp
match, examining the glass closely.
aferrorsl The bottom of the glass was
GeYefed with a pasty white substance!
robson? Arsenic? What was it? Already
hls lomach began to feel uncomfort-
aole. With a FACILITATING heart be
hastily awakened the sleeping hostess
" the house and trembling in every
llnb managed to blubber out: "Wha-
what was in that cup on the dining
room table? Am / poisoned? | drank
H.. hen he groaned and grabbed for
nls stomach. The sleepy hostess
D9fst out into a scream Of laughter
mMInlcn aWoke the whole household.
IA! ia! Poisonp she said. "Oh, my
nv II only some starch ] left on the
raole' The young man gasped in re-
4 = looked sheepish and quickly left
ane room. His stomach felt relieved
anu ne went to bed, but he did not
i"4gh lie could not see the joke.
Nat-that's not all. When be arose
h hta morning he found he had laid
aIs coal u derby on a batch of sticky
HRypaper. Now he's downright mad.
Don,t question him about the matter
VI you'll probably get hit.
tie reporter of the Atchison Globe
STlees us the following item of news.