The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-30
How The Boys Decided The Russia-Japan
 Difficulty.
Difficulty.
By Florence May.

chance to finish a sentence. It spells a whole argument to be cut off I'd like to wind up that last state- ment ,. was beginning to make when you called time on me"
 Cant do it." said the chair. from his position of authority. If I let each kid finish every sentence he begins, he'll spout all night. You fel- lers don't stop long enough at period for me to open my mouth. I've got to observe the rules of quitting. We've got a set of parliamentary rules, and as head of this business l mean to stand by 'em. So youll oblige the ing the floor to the next speaker"
 Well" persisted Jim. T know little bit about parliamentary rules to that; and my knowledge is that a mans, given time to speak his Not if he has too many thoughts"
 "Down with violators of the de- batting rulesl" cried a Japanese sym | pathizer from a front seat.
 That's like a Russian" called out another from the Japanese side. "They want the earth"
 Shut up and mind your own af- l fairs" ordered Jim, turning to the two offenders. I'm addressing the chair in this matter. not you"
 And the chair orders you to va cate the floor" said that worthy, | again losing his balance and rolling on the floor. In his effort to rise from under the broken seat, which went on top of him. he became very angry. and when he at last gained | his feet-amidst much snickering and laughter-he grabbed the chair and pitched 1t over in the corner on
 "That's not fit for one in my posi- tion," he exclaimed. I'll stand du- ring the rest of the meeting. Now, nhaU tha nrdar of the chair I'll call the next debater."
 "Of course," said Jim reluctantly, "I reckon I've got to observe your or ders, but by doing so l don't mean for you, nor anybody else, to think I agree that you are right in any such ruling"
 the Russian side was located.
 Let's refer the matter to The Hague tribunal' called out Rus sian sympathizer
 What's that, Skinney?" asked a | Jap from across the room.
 Order in the house! shut up, every body roared ,e the ehair Nd resting his his | program is Dock Hannah. speaker for the Japs. Please step to the front. | Dock"
 Dock did as commanded, and took the center of the floor. He was a l freck1ed youth with red hair, and very much abashed in manner. Speak ing in public was not common nor | favorite thing with him. He felt the importance of the position and his own weakness in filling It.
 Gee. Docks rattledw whispered one Russian to another Then sew eral laughed.
 @Mr cRha9irmsan;" h9 cried a Jap, jump snickering an laughing be allowed in the hall while the debate is going on."
 Second the motionr came from a | small Jap seated on the hay.
 It's moved and seconded that there be no laughing nor snickering during the debate.' announced the chair. "All in favor of the motion make it mo-"
 1T" vociferously cried the crowd
 No" came weakly from one small | listener on the hay.
 Silence in the galleryl" admon- ished the chair, pointing a soiled forefinger covered with warts, tow ard the small offender on the hay. The Is have 1t; and anybody caught guilty of the misdemeanor of snick- ering or laughing In the debating hall during the discussion will be-
 Then the chair transferred his weight from the left leg to the right and looked important. holding to Dock to begin.
 MT. Chairman, Ladies and Gentle men" began Dock his voice uncer- tain and lump the size of marble favor of the Rooshins only knowed more about them savage people and how grasping they are and how they send innocent women and starYln babies to Siberia to work in the mines they'd not be. so anxious to give. 'em any more of the earth thar! they've already got My pa says~ a,.s :, warned the chair. state facts. The object of this convention is to discover who's right and who's wrong; ihe
 Dock shuffled, thrust one hand In trousers pocket and the other in his hair. hunted through his frightened find 1t. The chair took out his watch. looked at the second hand till he counted three. then said; The pres ent speaker has forfeited his right to be heard by a three-moments delay. According to the rules of the society he must vacate the floor"
 Dock, greatly relieved. bowed in acquiescence, and resumed his seat: whispered, Nothing fair bout this debate. I didn't hardly git my mouth open till the chair shut it up for me. He leans to the Rooshins. anybody can see that"
 Sure" assented the companion, want nobody but themselves to talk I know em-our hired girls mick"
 The next speaker is Bert. Bron- son." announced the chair. You're with the Russians. ain't your he asked. turning to Bert.
 Nope. I'm with the Japs, teeth and toe nails" answered Bert proudly,
 Then you'll wait n till after M T, another sSf :a Turn about is fair play. Who's a Russian?"-and the chair cast his eye about his fellows inquiringly. | Bill Aken's a bear" Justify called a prominent Jap. Let's hear Bill"
 ''Yes, Aiken. Akeni Bill. Bill Aken!" came the cry from a dozen throats . consented the chair "Bill. step to the front"
 MT. Chairman an fellow citizens" said Bill easily, coming forward. T aint no orator of greased tongue, but if you want my opinion on this Jap anese and Russian affair here it is by the handful. I aint no use for neither of 'em, I'm an American to and savages want to Xiii each other off, wy let 'em go Gallagher, and we. us and company, with Uncle Sam leading. will go over and take charge China into big laundry, roast Tur- key for dinner, use Greece to oil our gunboats with, turn Germany into a John Bull and put him out of the hooking business, and make Italy look like 30 cents by sending the Pope to | Africa as a Methodist missionary
 You're out of order!'' called the chair. Keep to the subject of Rus
 "Nobody's out of order when he's | speaker. 'I say Americas the land of the free and the home of the brave Three cheers for Columbiai Hip-hip- | hurrahr
 A wild chorus of boyish voices joined in the rousing cheer and hats and caps were tossed in the air. The listening. element seated on the hay became hilarious and Jumped wildly vainly the chair stamped his feet and shook his fists for order. for the