The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-02-16
Of course, it might do to tie Hub"
Schurmeier up and force the Repub-
lican mayoralty nomination on him.
"LITTLE MARY"

For the past twenty five years, or
ever since the servant girl became a
problem, Americans have been demon
strating that it is possible to live with
out a cook. Therefore it is not sur
prising that when an English play
which satirized society's habit of gor-
mandizing was imported to this coun-
try it fell fiat. In order to gormandize
habitually it is necessary to have a
cook. Gothamites who went to view
the play saw only bitter irony in a
drama that depended for it's situations
on the regular serving of meals. In
stead of entertaining, the play exas-
perated. The contrast between the
mimic rubber tired service on the stage
and the intermittent service that i'm
parts an element Of chance to the ap-
pearance of every meal in their own
homes was too painful. The play still
holds the boards but not the attention
of large audiences, and its fame bids
fair to rest on the fact that it has fur
nished synonym for stomach. That
organ is now known as '1ittIe Mary"
in the East.
Yet were it the fashion here for the
native dramatist-we refer to Mr..
Clyde Fitch-to satirize national vices
instead of social vices, the imported
play would surely furnish him with an
excellent suggestion. We do not over
load our stomachs, to be sure, but we
coddle them. One evidence of this is
the more than sixty-nine varieties of
breakfast foods now on the market.
The astute salesman who hands out a
package of "Eata Bunch O. OATS with
the announcement that it will purify
the blood increase the gray matter in
the brain, keep the hat on straight and
make hair curly is perfectly aware Of
the domination Of Little Mary" He
depends on this to effect sales and not
on the merit of the particular food"
he desires to dispose of. And the trav-
cling professor VINO wanders from
city to city, extolling a brand new set
of physical culture exercises and advo-
eating the cutting out of breakfast al
together, depends also for his success
on this domination. He knows as well
as the breakfast food man that the av-
erage American is always ready to be-
lieve that his stomach is going to the
demnition bow-wows.
But the English people have little ex-
cuse for their gluttony, while the
Americans have plenty Of excuse for
their fondness for experimenting with
foods. BY inheritance, or through their
own fault, the majority of the latter
are the victims of dyspepsia. Light
ming lunches have furnished victims
for the breakfast food man and the
strolling professor These victims seize
with avidity upon any system or any
food that promises relief. They read
lily become extremists in the matter of
diet. With many to breakfast or not
to breakfast is the burning question of
the hour. The superiority of hot wa
ter over cold as beverage has come to
have as many pros and cons as the
question Of the possibility of war be-
tween Russia and Japan. But the fact
that there is some reason in it does not
make this national weakness any less
ridiculous. The peculiar form the
domination of Little Mary takes in
this country is quite as laughable,
though not so censurable, as the form
it takes in England.