Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-07-02
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boil 1t down. We are terribly crowded
to-night.-Puck.
Brown-Is Smith the boss over at
his house? Jones-Mrs. Smith SAYS he
isn't, but take notice he picks out all
the new wall pnper.-Cincinuat Trib-
une.
Mr.. Tim Idity-Is your chauffeur q
safe man TO ride with? Mr.. Knote
Slowe-Why, certainly. No policeman
has succeeded in catching him yet
Town Topics
Mrs. Chugwater-Josiah. where is
there such thing as laundry trustg
Mr.. Where? What do
you suppose the Flatiron Building In
New York Is for?
Arthur. dear, don't you think it's
rather extravagant of you TO eat butter
with that delicious JAM NO. love;
economical. Same piece of bread does
for both. TIT Bits.
Magistrate (sternlyl-Didn't l tell
you the last time you were here never
wanted you TO come before me againy
Prisoner-Yes. sir, Sut couldn't make
the policeman believe it-New Yorker
Are you at all familiar with
PlatoW asked Mrs Oldcastle. "No,
that's one thing Josiah always blames
me for. He says never make rens
close friends with anybody. "-Phlla-
delphla Ledger.
After a more severe reproof than
usual, little Bessie, who is extraordin
arily sensitive thought diligently for
minute and then said: Mamma, isn't
there any way child can get a III
vorce from its parents?"
Some scientists" began Mr.. Gay.
significantly, consider kissing danger
Gus. DO your" We'll" replied Miss
Smart, Il think 1t would be for you
My big brother is within call."-Ex-
change.
Fair Passenger--l've paid my fare
once. Why do you ask for 1t again.
Conductor beg pardon, lady, but
you look SO much prettler every time
l pass through that | thought you
We're another passenger Chicago
News.
Farmer HoptoadI dunno as them
city folks is so lazy, after all. Farmer
Trefrog -How's that, Hiram? Farmer
Hoptoad-One Of the clerks Mt that
hotel where | put up wuz up ahead OF
me every mornin', try to beat him az
l woud!-PhiIadelphia Press
when young fellers begins a-court-
in" said Farmer Haicede, they jest
gifts crazy, an tibet thar boy Jim y
mine amt no exception" whats Jim
/ bin a-doin'T' asked Farmer Soanreep-
Hanged II he didn't go Inter town
/ yesterd'y an spend hull sixpence fur
a teethbrush"
Yes" said the boarding school
teacher, 81 think that is n model letter
for you TO write your fance. But of
course you VIII copy 1t, leaving out
those numerous spaces?' "Oh, dear.
no." replied the girl "Those are for
dearest. have it on rubber
stamp. detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Phoxy was going to ask yOB
TO try this little trick Multiply the
years Of your age by three, subtract
twenty from the total and what's
the answer Miss kute-You should
be able to guess the answer at once.
Mr. Phoxy what Is 1t? Miss kute---
None Of your business. --Philadelphiz
Press.
The honest man ito theater door ten
derl--I see that you have signs in the
lobby saying that tickets bought OF
spectators VIII not be accepted. Now.
/ want to inform you that | bought
my ticket Of "A Spectator. Door Ten
der with n sickIy smile)-Say. You re-
formers give me n pain In the solar
plexus. G'wan in.--Exchange.
Edgar had been asked to write a
composition about the camel This -
what he evolved: "rhe camel has four
stomachs, and can go four weeks with
out feeding them, remembering the
week by counting the stomach be hap
pens to he using at the time; and 81.
coming IN out Oh tuc Helu oHCc
month, as regular as a clock. for his
breakfast, which Is mostly water
They had been talking as they
walked. She had remarked paren
theticaly: "Oh. it must be terrible to
man 70 be rejected by a woman"
Indeed it must" was his response.
Then after n while, with sympathetic
dlsingeuuousness, she exclaimed: II
don't think that could ever have tire
heart to do it," And there came a
Silence between them as he thought 1t
oyer-Tit- Bits.
In small village in Yorkshire an
old laborer once went into a neigh
hor's cottage. In the corner OF the
little kitchen stood a grandfather
clock. on the dial OF which was the
customary figure Of an old man holding
q scythe. and above was the time worn
inscription, "Tempus fugit" Looking
wisely up at the clock, the old man
said to the owner: AYE. tempuS