davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22
Reflections of a Bachelor.

A woman is so constituted
that whenever she doesn't
smile she has to make faces.
The second week her husband
is sick a woman looks over all
her old black dresses.
Cook books were written to
make young women think their
mothers didn't know how 10
cook.
Probably the average mouse
thinks women are the most
dreadfully immodest creatures
it ever saw.
If you don't want to know
What mans wife is like, study
his taste in other women.
Some of the ancients knew a
lot. The ancient Hindoo wom-
en- had to pray to their hus-
bands
Every woman has a longing
to know just how much her
b husband would take on when
the doctor told him1she was go.
ing to die.
The average man doesn't get
married because he loves little
children. What he gets mar
ried for is because he thinks he
is going to get fed better.
When one woman calls on an
other woman for the first 10
minutes neither of them says
anything that the other can re.
member, because each one is
studying the others dresses.
When a poor yours man mar
ries rich girl all the women
say he is mercenary, but when
rich young man marries a poor
girl, they say that such a love
is the most beautiful thing in
the world.-New York Press.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22
Bad Accident.

Harry Maddox was returning
from the fair grounds Thursday
ate moon. Meeting a horse at
tached to buggy the horse
SHE'D then bolted and struck
the boy on his wheel. Either
the shaft or the horses foot
struck the boy on the left cor
ner of the lip and cut it so bad
ly that DR.. McNu,t lad 10 take
three stitches in his lip.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22
Memory Gems.

The child is father of the
Wordsworth.
Whatever is worth doing at
all is worth doing well.-Ches.
terrified.
No one can cheat you out of
ultimate success but yourself.
A man cannot live a broa
lite if he runs only in o, e
groove.-J. Staple White.
IT'S education from the common
mind,
Just as the twig is bent the
trees inclined.
Pope.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22
Music No Test of a Wife.

Mascagni's opinion of his own
wife, expressed in an lntervie W
for the PHILADELPHIA North Am
ericau, refutes the famous Ger
man professors theory as 10 a
woman's character being easy
to deter mine from her musical
tastes.
According to this professor a
man could get a line on his flu
ture wife's nature by observing
what music she preferred. If
she admired Beethoven she is
artistic, but impractical. If
List appeals to her she is am-
bilious. If Mozart is her favor
lite she is prudish.
Gounod's feminine admirers
are romatic and tender-hearted.
Mascagni's music appeals to
the religious and patriotic wom-
an. Strauss music appeals to
the frivolous. Timid women
prefer Massenett, and well-bal-
anced intelligences love Saint
Saeus. Love of Wagner de.
notes egotism. Of OffenbacF,
cunning, Flotow appeals to the
vulgar.
So much for the Germans
theories. Mascagni upeets them
by bis remarks con corning his
own wife. my wife," he says,
''is not a musician. There are
no musicians IN nv family. But
she understands the duties that
go to make a good wife. 1t is
TO olishness to imagine a WON
an S nature Can be fathomed by
no ting the music she most ad-
mires. A woman may have the
gu alities fitting her to be good
wife and yet not be a musician.
My recreation, away from my
music, is to spend the hours
with my wife and family, Only
the good wife builds a home
That is the central spot for her
husband. She can be such a
wife, You see, and know nothing
of music. There must be some
other test of excellence than the
professors theory
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

WANTED-Quickly,f few persons to repre-
sent long established wholesale house among
retail merchants and agents. Local territory
Otfew counties. SIS salary and expenses paid
weekly. Expense money advanced. Com
mission extra. Permanent engagement. Bust
ness successful. Previous experience not es-
sential. Enclose self.addressed envelope. AID.
dress, sUPERINTENDENT TRAVELLERS,
225 Dearborn st., Chicago.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22
How the ROOseVeIt's COIlabOrated

"Re-enter heGRough Rider, "
says the Evening Post, credit
ing that militant person with
writing the letter of acceptance
But the letter was obviously
not the work of the Rough Rid
er alone; it was the composite
effort of all the Roosevelts.
The varioue authors submitted
their contributions to Candidate
Roosevelt, who accepted those
suited to his purposes. For in
stance:
nth e NIB oth.W a VS.
Roosevelt: The constitution
must be observed positively
as we'll as negatively.
Obedient-to- Congress Roose-
velt= The (pension) order in
question IS revocable at the
| pleasure of the executive.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

G. W. Ragar, of Warren, has
decided that he wants the Mon
roe City news, consequently
has subscribed for the Monroe
City DEMOCRAT so as to be sure
of getting it.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Miss Rosa Mae Smith left for
Hannibal Friday, where she
will be numbered as one OF the
excellent teachers during 1904
and-1905.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Oscar Umstattd. of Colfax,
ILL.,, is the guest of relatives in
the city. ~
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

@ B Quilting of jeanne has
paid the DEMOCRAT Office d
pleasant visit. May be he will
be a soldier boy.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Mr.. and Mrs. r L Stewart of
Cincinnati took in the fair and
visited her br other, Mr.. and
Mrs. ] Frank Smith.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Mr.. and Mis-. H Henderson,
E F Rice and o T Kirby of
Stoutsville were happy visitors
at the fair.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Mrs Alice Robev of Shelbina
and son of Montana have been
the guests of her sister, Mrs w
B Spalding.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22
ONE DAY ONLY

OHE LAY ONLY
And every four weeks there
after. All invalids who con-
suit this eminent specialist on
this date will receive three
months service free.
His long experience in the
largest hospitals of the world
enables him to successfully
treat allschronic diseases, such
as bronchitis, asthma and con-
sum ptlOn, rheumatism, sleep.
essness, brain and nervous ex-
ba ustion, paralysis, neuralgia.
headache, Saint Vitus dance,
ca ncers, tumors, skin diseases
IN GLIDING freckles, pimples, III.
Ger, salt rheum ETC., also heart.
liver, stomach and kidney dis
eases, nervous debility, confus-
ion of ideas, aversion to society,
loss of memory and energy, etc.
Diseases of the eye and ear
quic ky and permanently cared
by original and never failing
treatment. Cures guaranteed
when others have failed, but he
will not accept incRrable cases.
He will examine You free of
charge and if lncurable will
frankly and kindly tell you so.
Take one candid thought be-
fore it IS too late. Another
month may put your case be
You'd reach of hope. Remem
Der it costs you nothing to con.
SUIT this eminent specialist and
the most humble in circum-
stances can avail themselves of
his vast experience. Catarrh
and catarrhal deafness is posi-
lively and permanently cured
by this new method. The doc
tor gives special attention to
the diseases of ladies. his cures
are unequaled in the history Of
science. A lady in attendance.
Office hours from 9 a. m. to 6 %.
m.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Stray 2 year old white face
steer. See Harley Williams.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

e W Scott and wife of New
ark, Ohio have been the guests
of his brother, o Scott and wife,
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

r L Turner, their family and
Miss Powell of Quincy took in
the fair
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Mr. and Mrs. L. Sparks, Of
Sh elbina. have been the guests
of MIR. aud Mrs. Henry Fuqua.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Miss Mae Lossop, of Palmy-
ra, has been the guest of rela-
tives in the city.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Shelbina and Hunnewell sent
down their pIettiest girls to
the fair.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22
EYES, EYES.

You can have them well tested fol-
lenses and very reasonable.
R. Manning Walker.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Hess Stock and Poultry food
Wood Bros.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

G. G. Burlington, of Stouts-
vile was a Monroe visitor
Thursday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Best Perfumes Wood Bros.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Ground Oyster Shell.-Wood
Bros.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Lowney's Candies.--Wood
Bros.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22

Eye and Ear Expert
Who has met With such wonder.
full success in New York and
the West will be in Monroe
City at Hotel--on Saturday,
Oct
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1904-09-22
COMING TO MONROE
THREE MONTHS SERVICE FREE
DOCTOR STEPHENSON,

The distinguished throat and lung surgeOa
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
Cheap Religion.

Representative Adamson Of Georgia,
who took an active interest in the pro
ceedings and who was placed on the
publishing committee or board, tells this
good one, which illustrates that even
church members sometimes hate TO give
up money for the support Of the gospel:
Down in my district quarterly con-
ference was going on in one OF the
churches. During a lOye-feast a rich
farmer. noted for his penurioUsness.
was called on TO give his experience, TO
tell what he had 10 be thankful for He
did so. thanking Providence he lived in
land Of religious and civil freedom, a
land Of free speech. free schools. and
free salvation, winding up with. I have
belonged 10 this church seventeen years,
and, thank God, II has never cost me
but a quarter Of a dollar
The stingy old cuss. as Sam Jones
would call him, got shot from the
shoulder when the preacher shouted out.
And may the good Lord have mercy
on your stingy old SOUL which met
hearty amen from the entire congrega-
ton. That old cheap religion duck never
darkened that church door again"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05

gatherer with vivid dramatic force ami
the coloring is superb. But there is 50
much TO see that the eye wanders from
The Master at the head of the board and
the boast at His side 70 the fat stew
arc on the right hand and the portrait
Of the artist himself against the pillar
near the center OF the picture
II has been said the collection con-
sisted chiefly Of copies. There are,
however. half a dozen originals in oil
which have attracted much attention.
Among these is a large landscape
painted by Bertha van Hitler. OF Balti-
nc re, and TO be noted for its boldnesS,
strength. and freedom Of treatment.
These excepted examples OF the works
collected by Judge and Mrs. O'Connor
should serve 70 indicate the extraOrdi-
nary interest OF the whole The gift
has an enormous value 1t is IN size
alone worth extended attention But
for all It's size IL abOunds in art gems
OF the purest quality and Is SO c0nsis-
tently selected that its influence on
Trinity College and Washington COM
munity must surely be lasting and good
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
Would Lie to Prince of Liars

A North Carolina minister tells this.
Some people will never quit telling
lies. not even after they are dead
During the coal strike trouble I'D here
In Pennsylvania, President Mitchell
told story about prominent physician
who lived in the mining regions and who
not infrequently tanked up to the nose
on whisky.
one day old King Alcohol got the
better OF him and he fell asleep on the
side OF the roadway. Some OF the
miners concluded they would play a
joke on the physician. So they picked
him up and carried him into the mine
where after an hour or two he opened
his eyes.
seeing so many blackfaced men with
lamps In their hands and on their cans
he naturally concluded he was IN mr.
gatory. A miner approached aim with
bottle and said. Come. doctor - =
drink The doctor stammered out .Ex-
seven months ago " N'-4if4'is
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
The Gift of Judge and Mrs. M P. O'Connor,
Who Have Contributed to 1t for Nearly
Half a Century.

Rogers doors in the Capitol His early
art studies were made in Rome, where.
no doubt. Mrs. O'Connor grew 10 know
him. His art, while never pre-eminent.
has always been graceful. pure. and
thoughtful
Its companion piece. 'Linnaeus as a
Boy" IS a simple study in genre with a
great scientific pioneer as the subject
The botanist IS pictured as a STRIPPING
with his hands full of wild flowers
gathered at random in the fields 1t is
4 charming conception. and in disclos-
ms the personality of the progressive
Swedish botanist may easily heighten
the interest Of the girls at Trinity in
the subject TO which he gave his life
The spirit and life of a large paint
ing at the east end of the main gallery
attracts general attention. It is a fine
copy of Christ in the House of Levi, p"
by Paul Neronese,' whose name was
really Paolo Cagliari. The scene is, Of
course, Opulent, the figures are dis
posed about the great table of the tax
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
Jeferson's Religion.

Thomas Jefferson's opinions on the
subject of religion remarked one OF
the Virginia ministers. might well be
carried out by some Of our people Mr..
Jefferson may not have believed in the
Bible, but he did believe in contributing
10 worthy causes. At a convention held
in Charlottesville he sent a good sum
Of money and n note. in which he said
Accept this as an offering of duty and
o testimony of my friendly attachment
and high respect
But at the same time Mr.. jefferson
sent this contribution he wrote: There
Will, perhaps, be 1900 visiting the con-
veution OF minister's. and as nv place
is considered one OF the curiosities of
the neighborhood, and will probably be
visited as such by the attendants, I
have neither strength nor spirits to en-
counter such n stream of strangers
from day TO day. and must therefore
avoid II by absenting myself from
home. ="
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
In Close Communion.

"a close-communion Baptist deacon. 80
relates a visiting minister 10 the con-
ference, was in the habit Of putting
forth his views by telling a dream. He
said he dreamed he died and went into
purgatory, where he saw all denOmina-
lions. excepting Baptists. lie said the
Baptists did not need go to purgatOry.
but went straightway 10 heaven when
they died.
Strange said a Methodist-one Of
my folks-I had a similar dream, and
made similar observations; but 1 had
a little more curiosity than you. brother.
l asked the old adversary why there
were no Baptists there. and he took me
10 little door afar of and pointing l.
I saw a half dozen Of your faith in close
communion 80
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
Full Time on Devil Ahus0

We are paid by the year-some of us
very poorly paid-to abuse the devil I
oeheVe In putting in full time said
one of the ministers from Alabama VII
came up to the conference. and / think
we ought 70 put In full time
once there was an Irishman u,bo ~.
hard az work trying to prv ont = -
rock with crowbar. and he kent 49,,
ter1ng Devil take it A Dintsta
walked over and quietly remarked that
he ought not TO say such things and
wish the devil TO take the stone tn.
lrishman stuck his crowbar in The
ground, rested his left foot on the right
knee and looking straight at the good
man. said:
och, thin. an yerself. that's 6nd,n,
fault wild me fer abusin' the diviI once in
a while, whin the likes of We recave good
pay the year rOun' to abuse him. aE. y"e
don put In QlarLer time. Be off wild
We
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05

not mean that Giorgione surpassed in
color only. No artist IN all the Italian
schools drew in more ample outlines
more animated figures. or holder fore
shortenings. His drawing and insight
were so true that he became early the
standard for ali portrait painters. In
all the Venetian school-which. of
course, included Titian-no one pos
sessed so free and firm a touch or so
rich a colOring- "The Concert is
thought by many critics 10 be his great
est work. and the copy in the Trinity
College apparently aims that esti-
mate. The original ~ the Pitt Cal
lery. in Florence
Randolph Rogers, whose Lost
Plead is the most conspicuous work
in the collection of statuary. ought to
be familiar TO Washingtonians for the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05

now They thought themselves fOrtu-
nate II they had calico frOclS to wear
to church and to cuttings.
in my circuit there was a good old
lady whose wealth consisted in a few
acres OF land. a COW, and a chUrn. But
she got proud and wanted a new calico
dress because NeighbOr Jones wife had
a spank new one. She sold her COW and
bought new dress.
Yes. and, bless God, while she was
making it she noticed the churn sitting
there and says 10 herself. L have no
COW, so what use is the churn? and she
sold the churu and bought a new bon
net. Bless God. the next Sunday here
comes the good old soul prancing into
church as big as life with the COW on
her back and the churn on her head"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05

1 am reminded. of a story related Of a
pioneer Methodist named Valentine
Cook. who was a power in his day. but
who got off many odd sayings.
Once there was a terrible upheaval
of nature in the shape of an earthquake,
and DR.. Cook woke up. finding his ped
jostling and turning fie believed the
end of the world near and made bee
line for the door His good wife. in
great agitation. called, valentine. wait
for me, Walt for met
No, my dear he answered. When
the Lord comes I'll wait for nobody
GOOd-by' and out OF the door he shot -
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
Sublime Faith.

a Virginia circuit preacher gives the
following Illustration Of faith that
would move mountains"
II heard from the lips OF an unedu-
Gated negro ministera lesson Ishau never
forget. The man was preaching upon
the subject of obeying the commands OF
the Almighty, and he said:
q" 'Bredren. whateber de good LawG
tells me ter do IN dis blessed Book. dat
l Is gwine ter do. or bust er trace ri
1 read in dis book dat I must jump thro'
er stone wall. Use gwine ter jump
dat wall Coin through de wall b'long.
70 God; jumpin' at it blongs ter me-
That negro's faith was strong.
brother. and his supreme belief that God
would do His part has been a great help
TO me all these years.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
A Peaceful End.

Il once heard a lay member describing
the peaceful departure Of an aged saint. ."
said DR.. -. Of Louisiana, and he
'spake as the man without grammar
This is the way he put il:
When I arrOve at the house OF my
diseas ed friend he was perspiring his
last. l went and stood by his bedside
He was gone too Tar 10 talk. but I said
Brother. IL YOU feel happy now, list
squeeze my hand and he squOZe it.
could tell from the diIatory movements
of his eyes that he was happy, and that
is the way we all ought TO feel when the
Master calls 80
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
LANDSCAPE.
BY BERTHA VAN KILLER.

finishing. force, grace, deIicacy, the
strength OF man, the. softness of woman
the playiulness OF infancy, thought. feel
ing, invention" as Hazlitt enumerated
them. such work has, OF course, been
much copied. but usually on so small n
scale that the grandeur Of the original
Is almost entirely lest, and rarely with
sufficient skill TO retain the beauty Of
color and grace of touch which distIn-
guished Raphael above his fellows. It is
the retention of those merits which
makes this copy IN the O'Connor Gal
lcry so great a prize
Giorgiorc and "The Concert"
Ruskin incluscd Giorgione IN HE SON
'erce: There have been seven CO.
preme colorists; but the names of p-raat
designers are multitudinous. He did
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
'Twixt Devil and Sea.

One OF the best ministers in tbs State
Of Kentucky was a noted wag. He was
Frustrated with fever, and little hope
was entertained OF his recovery. The
good man was fully conscious OF his
critical condition, but perpetrated the
following;
Two well-known physicians We're ir
constant attendance. and while these
dispensers of pills and potions We're scat
ed on either side Of the bed the minister
smilingly said;
Death sits secure on either hand.
While Jordan rolls between"
The doctors laughed heartily and an
hour later the crisis was over and the
minister got well.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05

hgion gives his work distinct power. and
IT the copy which the Trinity has now
Ohuained this power is splendidly repro
duced. The picture has added interest
because Of its appropriate and exquisite
frame. The Florentines who designed
and executed II no doubt felt all the
beauty of Domenico Ghirlandajo's great
work. Their setting for it In gold and
blue is master craftsmanship.
The TRANSPORTATION adorns the Vac-
lean opposite the Communion Of Saint
Jerome" painted by Domenicu Fam
pieri. and is widely rated the greatest
achievement Of RaphaeTs genius II was
one o. his latest works. II expressed a
union Of ell his styles rather than any
one OF the$- And il reflected at one
time all the scScral qualities of his art
grandeur and scSDe Of design, exquisite
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
Left Handed Condiments

Ministers as well as other people pay
left-handed compliments occasionally
says the Rev. DR.. Ebert. Of Tennessee
The Rev DR.. --, OF my State. while
introducing to an audience a famous
missionary from India. his home by
birth, concluded his remarks:
He comes 20 you from that land
where every prospect pieases. and only
man is vile The modest missionary
blushingly thanked the audience and
said that the good brother had given
him about the toughest introduction he
had met with in America
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05

were sponging on them for the means
o, grace" they deputed the pastor of
the Mortified parish TO go and preach
10 them on the subject and inform them
that they would have no supply there
after from their neighbOrs. The pastor
went and opened his service by giving
out the hymn:
Lord, what wretched land is this,
That yields us no supply"
The chorister cried out, as was the
custom. Mortified" which seemed TO
be fitting answer to the pastors de-
mGnd.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-06-05
Rents Wear Longer Than Patches.

The theological wisdom Of some Of
our scriptural expounders Is very anus
ing. says a minister from Kentucky.
Il once heard Of a Sunday school Roy
down near Louisville who was asked
what the Saviour meant when he sad.
Put not new cloth into an old gar
ment' The query passed all around the
room from the infant class 10 the Bible
class. and no one was prepared to an
swer.
The superintendent was called upon
70 explain the question. With coun>
tenance beaming over with an I-know-
it-aH expression. he said.
My friends. IT is clear TO me that
our Saviour intended 10 convey 10 us
the lesson that a hole will last much
longer than a patch-a patch even OF
all-wool new CLOTH"