The San Francisco call., 1904-02-16
Bending the T1tTg.

BIZ MRS. VIRGINIA VAN DE WATER.
Copyright. 1904 by Joseph B. Bowles)
A parent is no less a parent because
the child has attained years of so-caled
discretion. One feels at times that they
should be termed years of indiscretion.
The relations with which we have to
do just now are those that exist be-
tween the child and the parent-espe-
cially the mother-after the boy or girl
is beyond the boundaries of the nur-
sery-that is, after he has attained 10
or u years Of age. 1t is at this point
that the young animal feels desire for
freedom. and If not properly curbed
this freedom will at times amount to
lawlessness.
1t is safe to assert that the worst chill
dren in the civilized world are the
American children. do not mean that
they are more vicious, more unprinci-
pied than children of other nations. but
they are certainly less amenable to just
authority, less respectful to their elders
and more sure of themselves, their
rights and independence. If one doubts
this let one note the manner of the
average girl or boy Of II toward the
mother.
A few weeks ago in a crowded ele-
waited train in which I had managed to
get a seat a mother, daughter and
father stood in the aisle directly in
front of me. 1 could not help overhear-
ing their conversation. All were hand
somely dressed-the father and mother
evidently people of education. The
mother sighed wearily and said to the
14-year-old girl that she was tired.
"Of course you are" was the quick
rejoinder. Il told you if you took the
elevated you would have to stand. But
you would do it."
But" said the mother, in gentle ex-
planation. lit takes so much less time
to come this way"
well, then" was the pert rejoinder.
IF you are glad you came why do you
make so much fuss about it? You're
here, so let the matter DROP"
The mother, after the manner of the
obedient American maternal, subsided
into silence, and the father, hearing all
this conversation, administered no re-
buke to the impertinent child. Had she
been 40 instead of Il she deserved
harsh censure for thus addressing a
person older than herself, and that per-
son her mother.
Still, the mother was to blame more
than the child. Had she not been al
lowed to go wrong from her cradle,
speaking impertinently, she would not
do so now. One clever but disrespect-
full girl voiced this truth when her
mother, chiding her for impertinence,
added:
Margaret, I now appreciate that you
were not spanked often enough when
you were child"
The girls eyes flashed.
THAT was not my fault" she re-
sponded IF you did not see your duty
toward me then, you may pay for it
now"
Verify the education should have be-
gun in chiidhood-yes, even in baby
hood
Still, there are girls and boys who,
having been tractable in infancy, feel
that when they leave the childish stage
they need no longer obey. This is the
case in nine homes out of ten. Mothers
ask: What shall l do with my girl,
who insists upon going to parties when
can 1 make my son study? He wants
to leave school now instead Of taking
the course we had planned for him."
All, the pity of It ALL And the evil
lies at the root Of our system Of child
training There is but one remedy. 1t
is that each home shall be a monarchy
in which father and mother are king
and queen, the children the loyal and
loving subjects. The law followed is
the law of love, always accompanied
by justice The children must feel that
love is back of everything, and that
II they neglect to obey this law, justice
will step in. This is not an impossible
state Of affairs. ] know one home in
which the children, growing up to
mems estate, dread more seeing a look
Of disappointment on the face of the
dear mother than they would the lash
Of a whip. While young they learned
to obey, and as they grew older their
sense of justice showed them that love
for them and unselfish regard for their
symmetrical development physically,
mentally, morally were the ruling pow
ers in the home. After the age Of six
or seven years was attained punish
ment was never necessary. It should
not have been. With years of discre-
ton should come the feeling of no
biesse oblige" that makes boy or girl
honor the parents and respect them
selves too much to swerve into paths
that are evil.