The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-12-24
sS es 4.

NN~~NNNNO~

poser SOh, yeSW HAS she been
long /" Not long at time.n
Philadelphia Ledger.
Willing victim: She-When / SET ,
my face against anything ! mean it
He Would you-er mind setting
your face against mine? Exchange.
Dashaway-- Did you have any trou.
bic making love to Miss Flyer Clever
ton None whatever. The trouble
came when tried to break away
Life.
Have you been reading any OF these
articles on why Men Don't Go to
ChurchT" "No One might as well
go to church and be done with it,
Exchange.
Yeast-Why 10 woman's pocket
like the north pole2 Crimsonbeak--
That's easy. Because the man doesn't
live who ever discovered it.-Yonkera
Statesman.
Mistress You seem to have good
deal Of company, Mary. Maid-Yes'm.
Dey's what call my rainbeaux. Seven
different colored gentlemen. Yas'm.-I
Princeton Tiger.
One enough: Her Father eternity
Young man, can you support fam
lily? Young Man (startled) why
Il only wanted your daughter.
adelphia Ledger.
Naybor-Is that new hen-house
you're buildingl Mr.. Snappy-No;
this Is an old one I'm building to take
the place Of the new one tore down
last week.-Exchange.
Mrs. Casey-An' phat did tn doc.
thor say allied YET Mr.. Casey ppen-
dicitis. Mrs Casey-Och, worra! OF
knew he'd say thot If We wore thct
new Sunday suit-Judge. aa
Heavium--Did you ever drink any
of those substitutes for coffee? Lightly
What q foolish question: You know
I have sojourned In boarding houses
for the past ten years.-Chicago News
DR.. Pendicks-Has your treatment
Of Jones' lung troubles been success
full DR.. sharp-Very. I sent him the
bill six months ago and he hasn't
coughed yet--Cincinnah Commercial
Tribune.
American War Correspondent u
wish I were back in New York. Eng
lish War Correspondent-Why? Amer
lean War CorrespOndent-I'd be able
to learn something abont what theyra
doing here.-Puck.
Never mind" said the friend
1 sooth1ngly, you'll wake up some
morning and find yourself famous. u
} "Not muchr' growled the pessimisti'
3 poet, ait would be just my luck Il
: oversleep myself that morning. Phil
3 adelphia Press.
: 'T believe" said the sanguine, but
: visionary, inventor, eli only had time
s could make a successful flying ma
p chine, "Of course you could make 1
Y all right II you only had plenty o.
!. time. Time flies, you know."-Phtla
l. delphia Ledger.
= Applying the principle: key
Fader, l hat made a mistake in gifni
y der schange to dot last customer.
y give him dvendw-fife cendts too little
His Tather-VeIl, key, some wise mai
a has said dot We should try to brofit b!
% our Observation-Disclosures.
tits always dangerous to jump a
conclusions" said the careful maG
= ''you're liable to make yourself ridlcu
:, lous. at least" "Yes," replied the JeI
~ sey commuter, "I jumped at the con
L. clusion Of a ferry-boat once an
y missed it."-Philadeiphia Ledger.
y s4That fellow-townsman Of yours.
- remarked the New Yorker, "hasn
=. much idea Of table manners. mo-" n
~ piled the Chicagoan, Il noticed tina
- - why, the other day 1 seen him use tn
- same knife for his pie that he'd use
IN to eat his peas NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
r. Ledger.
n Mrs. Farmer-Josiah, I'm goin'
NJ town tomorrow to buy a new carpt
for the parlor. What kind had be
~ ter gitP Farmer Prosper-Any kind
~ like, BeHndy. It makes no diff rence-
- bustles, ex-minister, croquette, or II
~ crate, Suit yourself.-Kansas Gil
I'd Journal.
of Strenuous times since: Pa-NoV
of don't ask me any more questions.
L. don't see why your history lessor
m should bother you 50. They didn
~. bother me when I was boy. Willie
th Well, there wasn't so much histo1
~ made when you was a boy.-Philad'
phfa Ledger.
,st What a beautiful lawn you have
be Eyes" answered Mr.. Nagley's wit
ly my husband keeps it that way" Il
nd must be very Industrious" eyes. F
,r- never misses a day with his Law
he mower; although l could scarcely !
a him TO touch 1t until the neighbors b
a gan to complain about the noise
.et made."-Waahington Star.
We Cholly proudly)-By Jove! I
quite a professor Of swimming, do1
you know. taught Mabel Galley he
to swim In two lessons. Jack-Ga
eh That was a quick throwdown. Chol
ey GndiRnantly(-What do you mea