Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1904-01-02

paper to EN-, when they heerd a.run-
min and a-jumpin' and old Bill said,
That vahmint's got out of the barn
and is rampagin round agin.' The win
der curtins wuz up and old jimmie
must 'a'seed the light, for she run pell-
nell agin the house, and drove her
| horns through the winder, smashin'
| four panes Old Bill and George man
| aged to git her back inter the barn an
tied her up.
| GAS they wuz walking back to the
house, old Bill said, 'Consarn her pic
| ter, I'll make beef o. her to-morrer or
| my name amt Bill Tompkins.' When
| they got back to the settin' room.
George said, How be yer goin' ter do
it, dad?' Why cut her throat, said Bill.
| You can't do it, said George, the law
seq yer must shoot her fust in the
| temple All right said old Bill, you
shoot and I'll carve So next mornin'
they led old jimmie out with her head
| p'inted towards the barn. George had
loaded up the old musket, and. stood off
bout thirty feet. George didn't know
just edzactly where the cows temple
| wuz, but he imagined it must be
somewrehe atween her eyes, so he fir
ed and hit her squar' in the forehead.
That was enough for old jimmie, she
| jist ducked her head, and with roar
like the bull of Bashan she put for
George. He dropped the musket and
| went up the ladder inter the haymow
livelier'n he ever did before, you kin
| bet. Old jimmie struck the ladder and
| knocked it galley-west Old jimmie
| then turned round and spied little
| Tommy. He put, and she put arter
him. There wasn't nothin' else to do
so Tommy took high jump and land
ed in the pig-sty. Old Bill is kinder
deef in one ear and he didn't notice
much what wuz goin' on on that side
of him. He was runnin' the grand
stone and putin a good sharp edge on
his butcher knife, when he happened
to look sup and seed old jimmie comm
head on. He dropped the knife and
started for the house, thinkin' he'd
dodge in the front door. Over went
the grindstone and old jimmie too,, but
she wuz up on her feet ag'in quicker'n
scat. She seemed to scent the old
man, for when she got to the front
door she turned in and then bolted
right into the parlor. Old Bill heerd
her comm and he went head fust
through the open winder and landed in
the orchard. He got up and run for
big apple tree that stood out near
the road, and never stopped till he'd
clumb nearly to the top. Little Lizzie
gave a yell like catamount and ran
| behind the palmer which was sot out
little from the wall. Old jimmie went
bunt into che pianner and made a
| sandwich OF Lizzie who wuz behind it.
Mis- Tompkins heard Lizzie scream,
and came to see what the matter was.
When she seed jimmie she jist made
: strides for the woodshed, and old jim
ME sashayed arter her. Mis- Tompkins
went skitin' through the wood shed.
There was a pair of steps that led up
Il n the corn barn. and Mis- Tompkins
/ got.up there jist as old jimmie walked
4 off with the steps. Then old jimmie
/ took walk outside and looked round
as unconsarned as though nothin' had
happended. Jist about this time one
! OF them tin peddlers come along that
druv one of them red carts with pots
and pans and kittles. and brooms, and
brushes. and mops hung all over it.
! He spied old Bill up in the tree, and
SEQ he, What be var dom Farmer
Tompkins?' tFickin' apples said old
Bill. He don't waste words, on no.
body. Amt it rather early for apples?'
! CURED the peddler These are some
iorgot to pick last fall replied old
BIZ. Anything in my liner said the
paddler. Amt go no money said Bill.
Eain't you got something you want to
trader asked the peddler. Yes said
Bill, I'll swap that COW over yonder;
YOU kin have her fer fifteen dollars, an
4 III take it all in trade Good mixer
aid the man. First class butter
said old Bill. What do you want in
/ trader said the man. Suit yerself,'
said Bill, chuck it down side of the
road there This was soon done and
the peddler druv up front of Old jim.
ME and went to git her, so as to tie
her behind his Vaughn. She didn't
stop to be led. Down went her head
agin and she made for the peddler. He
got on the other side of his team jist
as old jimmie druv her horns tween the
spokes of the forward wheel. Dowr
come the pots, the pans and the kit
ties in every direction. A clotheshorse
fell on the horses back and he start
ed on dead run and that wuz the enc
of poor jimmie. Before she could pull
her horns, round went the wheel ant
broke her neck. The peddler pulled
up his horse and went back to see ole
Bill, who was climbin' down from the
apple tree. What am goin' to d.
about this?' said the peddler. 4 WI,
countin' on drivin' her to the next tow
and sellin' her or tradin' her off, bu
,, hain't got no use for fresh beef.
WALL said old Bill, considering cir
cumstances we'll call the trade off. 70,
; kin keep your stuff and I'll keep m,
beef The peddler loaded up and dru,
off. Then old Bill went in and pulled
Lizzie out from behind the pianner
and put up the steps so Mrs. Temp
kins could come down from the corr
: barn, and fshed Tommy out of the pie
sly, and threw bucket of water owe
him, and put up the ladder so Georg
could get down from the haymow an,
they all got round poor old jimmie an,
stood as hard as they could and laugh
: ed" Here Professor Strout pushe,
back his chair and rose to his feet
: That's how old Bill Tompkins got hi
, beef"