Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-11-10
"! sHES
A@ W


HE comes OF a distinguished fam.
fly, believe" "Yes. His people have
worn glasses for three generations."-
Exchange.
~If you dare kiss me again win cali
papaf' Il thought you said your faith.
er was In Californian "He is."-
Houston Post.
First Doctor-Then we decide not to
operate. Second Doctor-Yes. What
do you think we ought to charge him
for deciding not to operatel-BroOklyn
Life.
LADY, have nothing to give yeu.
my poor man. but some cold sausages.
knight OF the Road-'Scuse ME. mum.
but don't your sign say, Beware Of
the Dogg"
Clarinda-You can't keep a dog In
your new flatl FlOrinda--No. we had
to give Fido away: but Frederick had
his dear little bark put in our phono-
graph. - Cincinnati Commercial Trib.
une.
A teacher was explaining to little
girl how the trees developed their
foliage In the springtime. "0h, yes, /"
said the little miss. II understand; they
keep their summer clothes in their
trunks"
Doctor" Queried the .inqulsitlve per-
son. ''do you believe that the cigarette
habit causes weak mindsr' Not nee
essarily." replied the NJ. D.: ''as rule
1t merely indicates them."-Chicago
Daily News.
whats that racket down therer
shouted the old gentleman from the
head Of the stairs. II think" promptly
replied his up-to-date daughter, "that
It was Bob dropping his voice when
he proposed to me-"
Macintosh boasts good deal about
his family. doesn't he?" "Yes. I think
he claims that the head of his family
was the original Macintosh that Noah
had with him during that rainy sea
son."-Philadelphia Press.
Bridget-why, Master Tommy, what
ever is the matterl Tommy-I'ye hurt
my Inland In the h-hot water. Bridget
-Shure. thin. it serves you right. You
should have felt the water before you
put your hand in!-Punch.
what is lover asked the sweet girl,
who was looking for a chance to leap.
Love-" replied the old bachelor, IS
a kind Of insanity that makes man
call two hundred pound female his
little turtle dove. Chicago News.
Mrs. Muggins-My husband is a per-
feet crank. Mrs. Bugyins-All hus-
bands are, my dear Mrs. Muggins-
But fancy q man who complains that
my mustard plasters are not as strong
as those his mother used to make!
Maud-See this rinsf Archie gave
It to me the other evening. Irene
thought recognized 1t. You'll find
it has a rough place just under the
setting that will make your finger
sore.-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
A junior student Cornell Univer-
sity, in rendering an account to his
father Of his last TERMS expenses, en-
tered as an item: Charity, thirty dol
lars" His father wrote back: ~ fear
that charity covers 9 multitude Of
sins"
do you think they'll be happy now
they're marriedY "Well, don't see
why not. They eat the same kind Of
breakfast food, take the same brand
Of dyspepsia tablets, and wear the
same make of hygienic underwear" !"
Town Topics.
II suppose, Senator she said, ''that
you try to keep in touch with the finan.
cial interests of the country" "If 1
didn't, my dear girl, I'D have to cut
down my Hvin' expenses or practice
law a good deal harder than l do be-
tween sessions."-Ex.
A Little Rusty: '"The bride seemed
quite nervous, didn't she?' remarked
the first Chicago girl. Naturally" re-
piled the other: shes somewhat out
of practice. It's the first time she's
been married since last year."-Phlla.
delphia Public Ledger.
VisitOr-What a racket the steam
makes clanking through the pipes! Flat
Dweller (shivering)-Yes. 1t reminds
me Of one of Shakspeare's plays. Wis.
itor - Which-''The TempestT" Flat
lDweller-NO. Much Ado About Moth.
ing."-Town ard Country.
A teacher In an East Side school in
trying to explain the meaning Of the
word ''slswly" illustrated 1t by walk.
ing across the floor. When he asked
the class to tell him how he walked,
boy at the foot of the class shouted,
"Bow-legged, sir."-Lippincott's
Il lost my foot in the war;" said the
tramp, "and I'm trying to raise enough
money to get out to California" what
do you want to go to California forT
asked the woman at the door. 'Oh,
I've heard that there are things which
grow a foot in a day out there. ."-YOn.
kers Statesman.
Friend Of the Family want to
give your husband birthday present
What do you think would please him
most2 Mrs. Kutely-Oh, a stickpin.
He says he never has enough Of them.
Friend-What is his favorite stone
Mrs. Kutely-The emerald. Changing
up the 'phone) Isn't that lovely; I've
always wanted an emerald pin!-De-
troit Free Press.
Scene: Editors sanctum. Printer
crushing in excitedly) Here's a 60
johnson, the murderer, has just been
found innocent and the government
has telegraphcd pardon. We've got
the whole account Of the hanging sci