Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-11-03

Playwright explaining new playl-.
As the two burglars enter the han
clock strikes l. Manager-which
onee--Chleago Chronicle.
Mr.. Jones Creadlngl--Another fierce
engagement In the Philippines Mrs
Jones--What is ltS Mr.. Jones-School
teacher and army otficer--Judge.
Employer--want to 20 homer Where
do you feel illl Boy--Hcre. sir, In the
office. guess III feel better when
get the air on the baseball ground.
Mrs, Holdtite-Dr Kurem Awl says
| must spond six months In Europe.
What shall l dor Mr., Holdtlte-Get
another doctor.--Chlcago Chronicle
Tommy-Papa. what makes you so
baldl Papa-oh, that's because my
mother used 10 pat me so much on the
head for being good boy,-Ally
Sloper's Half.Holiday.
"oh. my trlendsw exclaimed the ora.
tor, at makes me sad when | think
OF the days that are gone. when look
around and miss the old familiar faces
| used TO shake hands with"
What was the verdict that the cor
oners jury returnedy "wnful neglect
OF duty on the part OF the deceased,
He went out unarmed knowing the 9th.
er fellow was In town."-Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
Il see you advertise for donkey"
said the man who looked as II he lad
something for sale. "oh, yes" said the
busy man, stopping his work for a
minute to look up; but want one
with four s,"-Tit- Bits.
They thought he was dead. you
know. and all the papers printed oblt'
uary notices" And then?" Why,
then he turned up. and since he's read
those notices he's too proud to speak
to any one."-Chicago Post
First Traveler-Oh. yes-we visited
the art gallery when We were in Dres.
den! Second Traveler-Then you saw
Raphaers masterpiece there OF coursel
First Traveler-Yes, indeed. The "Slx.
teen Belladonna," you meanG
Walter, you may finish this piece OF
pie. II you want It." said mother, 1T
isn't enough TO save" Mother" said
Walter, when he had finished It, "a
boy in the family comes in very handy
when there Is little bit over, doesn't
he?"
You hair isn't wet" said little Tom.
my to Mr.. Flyer, who was calling, mo,
of course not! What made you think
my hair was wetT he asked, very
much surprised. 81 heard pa tell ma
that you couldn't keep your head above
water"
At a political meeting an excited
Irishman rose to express his satlsfac-
ton. "SIt DOWN. called the man be-
hind him, pulling his coat tails. Don't
you know you're opaque?" And that
I'm notw cried the other. I'm
O'Brien"
Mrs. Spenders-I wonder what will
be the popular styles in bonnets this
season? Mr.. Spenders-My dear,
women's bonnets will be divided into
two styles this season, as usual-the
style you don't like, and the style l
can't AFFORD.
Hungry Hawkins-Do yer mean to
say yer got a square meal out o dat
sour womanT Diplomatic Mike-Sure!
Hungry Hawkins-Well, yer a Won
der. How'd yer do it? Diplomatic
Mike-When she opened the door l
seq: els yer mother at home, miss?-
Philadelphia Press.
Tess-A friend of mine was telling
me to-day Of splendid seashOre resort
on the Massachusetts, coast; think it's
called Medford Beach. Jess-Oh, I've
been there. That was where | caught
that big lobster last summer, don't you
know? Tess-No, dear, hadn't heard.
What LIS his name?
The 6-year-old daughter OF a certain
naval officer was unconsciously ludl-
crous the other day. The child was
sewing, when her older sisted asked:
why don't you use pattern?" The
little miss replied with dignity great
er than her knowledge: Il don't need
pattern. sew by ear"
Charley White, who lives with his
aunt and grandma, noticed that the
regular black peppCr-shaker was filled
with red pepper This startled him,
and. turning to his aunt, who sat next
at the table, he said: You better not
eat any of that red pepper. Aunt Har-
riet; gramma says that red pepper kills
ants"
Teacher Qn Chinese mission)-I won
der how many of you know the mean
ing of mercy" (All hands up Very
good. Now, you, Chang, may give us
an illustration of its meaning Chang
-Melican lady gave Chinee boy dishes
to wash. One plate fall on floor; him
blake In Thousand fifteen pieces. Nell
can lady ely loud, "Oh, mercyw.
MY dear" said Mrs. Newlywed, her
face flushed with the excitement of her
afternoon in the kitchen, II want you
to be perfectly frank with me now.
What would you suggest to improve
these doughnuts l made to-day"
WELL" replied Mr.. Newlywed, lifting
one with a slight effort, II think 1t
might be better If you made the hole
bigger" ."-CincinnatI Times-Star.
He-I never saw anything like this
tide. Here I've been pulling steadily
for ten minutes and-we don't seem to
have moved foot. She (after pause
oh, Mr.. Stroker, I've just thought
of somethlng The anchor fell over
board a short time ago, and | forgot
TO tell you Do you suppose 1t could