The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-18
Col. WHEATON
OUT FIsHIN'
AGREES THAT FISH HOGS ARE
BAD PEOPLE.
Tells Thrilling Tale Of How Sailors
Bait Sharks with Their Own Bodies
in Galveston Harbor-Interested In
the Conversation.


Eft they's anything on earth ought fo he Ared
on 1t, It's man ats alters gabblin ,thout no
pint aimed at.-Philosophy Of Colonel Wheaton.
l intended to head 1t a monologue. but
there is no need of that. Simply to men
ton the characters will suffice. esneciaI.
~ as one Of them was Colonel wheaton.
All OF his acquaintance know that-and
II most u n readers are not Of that
Fconfraternity, have labored, and the COL
onel lived, in vain for many moons. They
Were at Little Trout lake. the sportsman
doing his -- possible to hook q. trout
and the colonel rowing, and beguiling him
at the same time. AS thus:
Here we go! Well land a few quick
er,n pint o. whisky'll last 'rnonest ten
lumberjacks. Let out bout $50 feet o
line, keep your thumb on the reel ,ns
tween men the trout. we'll do the rae,
lever read them pieces that Teller wants
to know eff he's right writes in The
u IN a !? He is right a whole lot, too.
you bet your neck! Special wen he goes
after them hogs at ketches a couple er
hundred fish'n Jugs what they kin carry
nome, n leaves the rest to rot. We
on our death beds, n he'd a big bet on IL
s1des. N ev'ry Teller ketched a bass in
the last three weeks oughter be run In fer
II. Why? Why, becoz the weather's been
SO id cold the bass amt had no ambi-
llon TO spawn, m ketchin' 'em amt been
notnln snort o murder. They don't bite
Wnen they do bite bout the time they ara
oetWlxst n between with spawnin'.
WHAT'S that you call it?
"a paradox, Ell!
Parahell! 1t amt nothin' but the naked
truthn' IN prove it by the old man. He
Nho"s an S 70 be knowed bout fish, m
more too. He says that when bases
skootin' bout their spawnin' beds thev,lI
dart at any old thing butts In. no matter
what it is, n grab at it with their mouths
| Ihey amt got nothin' else to grab wifi,
n only want to drive the thing away
THAT'S why they do it, but they ain't
a-bitin', cause they don't intend to bite.
DO You see the pint?
| Yes, 1t is a little mite funny we aim
| mad bite yet but never mind. the davis
young yit, m you can't never tell what
won't happen If you only keep at it long
enough. Why, remember way back van
der down on the Wisconc there was ].
uead game OF sport the real thing he was
m no tailor made-what's the difference
tween EN-? Why, whole lot! Ones the
real thing! The kind of fisherman God
makes! The other feller's made bv them
pirates sells sportin' goods in cities, III
some tailor r'uther.
One comes out with his Of clo'es on. m
you know he's the real thing soon's Won
sight him. Tother shows I'D with new
rigs OF all kinds on, n looks s foolish,s
good dog some girls tied pink ribbon
on. N, his looks don't belle him none.
He's the Teller kills fer the sake of KILN,
) jests weasel does, m he's the Teller
gifts his picture took standin' back o. a
string O bass forty feet long, If he kin
! ketch en- Well, this old sport tell you
) OF ne Warn't no SIGH fraud, n took In
MIN hrst or soons 1 see him. He used
J a rod, but he'd fish with any old thing
rathern' not fish, m one time men him
was out In boat, n he broke his rod m.
TOOK my long cane pole m went to fishin'
with 1t easy as you please He hooked a
Whalin' big muskie in less'n holy min
ute n had the pole wrenched outer bis
hands n down it went outer sight like
a flash. We rammed all over the river till
! oark, put we never saw hide er hair O. it
agln, m er course we give it up fer lost.
But next fall was UP in Lake st. Croix
met this same old sport agin m
nothln' wouldn't do but must take him
out once fer luck on that lake.
Wen. we hiked round fer longer
tlne We've been adoin' an there wasn't
noth1n' dom tall, n we got tired M
headed fer shore. Then I see a long cane
pole a lynn in some rushes. m rowed
over to git 1T. When we got near enough
the old sport he grabbed it, m knowed
1t right off. 1t was my pole, m sure
muir the big muskie was still fast to the
line. He jumped ten feet into the air
: when the old sport grabbed the pole m.
startled him SO he forgot to slack up a
little. n the muskie got jerk on the
line n broke 1T, m away he went! How
long'd he been fast to that pole? Lemme
see! Oh, bout fourteen months. Bur
. you know bulldogs amt in it with mus
kles Ter hangin on oncet they git a good
holt D'I b'leeve that story? Sure. Mixer
DIDN'T you jest hear me tell it?
You may think it amt nothin' but a
: hsh story but it's all right. Sure. we
ought to ketch somethin' pritty soon, but
we won't git impatient. Sometimes a
! 1 1es ketches more'n he wants to, m
then he's worse off'n f he hadn't ketched
nothing tall. Why, one time 1 was down
IN Galveston harbor (the colonel was
5 never south of Wisconsin since he was
born) n was on ship in the harbor
Watchin' the sailors play jokes on the
SHARKS sharks. Great big maneaters, forty foot
long, some of 'en, them sharks was. but
the sailors didn't care nothin' fer that.
, They'd Jest watch till they saw a Whal-
IN Dig one comm, N then they'd strip.
take big chaw O. plug m dive right
down front O. Mr.. Sharks nose. Shark d
put after the sailor, m the sailor'd wait
till the shark turned over on his back ia
grab him, m then he'd dive right down
n spit big cud right into his mouth.
mat shark didn't want no more sailor
then. He was too busy tryin' to keep
: his immortal soul inside him to care for
y a whole navy O. sailors, m soon's he got
: over his sick fit a little he lit out fer
: deep water, m never stopped till he
J. pumped his nose 'ginst England r France,
: There was a coon afshin' off wharf
boat in plain sight. n big fish took his
s bait m drug him off the wharf boat into
the water, fer the gump had his line
: tied round his waist He was a-swimmin'
e n tryin' to git at his knife SOS to cut
: the line, m boat was a-rowin' after
), him to save him, when a big shark ct him
e up whole.
I IN then, mother time they was
:, . What? Wanter quit n go home? Well
'spect we nights WELL Looks like we
amt goin' to ketch nothin', but we've
had a good time just the same. There's
nothin' I like better'n hearin' a sensible
h man talk. m eff I did do all this work
fer no fish, I've enjoyed list'nin' to you
&C. G. Kelly.
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