The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-06-01
TEE NONPAREJL MAN
The Glorious and Soul Stirring Time When
Brother Bill Moved Into the yellow
] Jackets Nest-4--sudden Dissipation Of
the EnnuI and Fatigue Of the Hayfield.

81 Jackets Nest1-Sudden Dissipation Of
b the EnnuI and Fatigue Of the Hayfield.
heavy and rich with the scent Of the hay
and Of the thousands Of "whiteweed' that
cover the field like a white carpet.
fiaying" is on in the country and there
is no time for fooling or fishing. All the
boys, dad and the hired man are out in
the hayfield. It is before the time Of
moving machines and every man jack has
scythe In his fist and from sunup to
shutdown nothing is heard but the regular
and steady swish, swish, swish of the
scythe In the heavy stand Of grass and the
quick metallic whet Of the handstones
against the blades after they have become
dulled by the brittle stems Of the grass.
N.Y. how long the afternoon is for us
boys! Will that sun ever move? If it is
"a on the cool piazza with vines and
honeysuckle on 1t back at !. the house,
what must 1t be here? You dare not think
Now and then the hired man stops, spits
and drinks quart Of water. Grandma
sends up from the house big jug full
Of "sweetened water" with ginger in it,
It's great!
Just as you are on the point of drop
ping dead from fatigue and ennui, Brother
Bill does something. It's always Bill! AS
a youth, he, was the. first boy that fell
into the millpond in spring. He was the
first kid to get licked by teacher during
the winter session So Bill does some
thing. He mows into yellow jackets
nest!
Whoopee!! Bill drops his scythe, slaps
and runs like a deer. The hired man
jumps sideways and runs laughing in the
direction Of the sweetened water jug.
Father waves his, hat once or twice. but
mows on. You stop and boiler and laugh
and whoop with joy atlBills discontinue.
Gee, wasn't that great to see Bill run
ming like a scared calf!
Bing! Then one Of the hornets reaches
for you. You quit at. once and Join the
hired man at the jug. Bill wanders up,
too, and the hired man plasters a chew Of
tobacco against the hornet bites that are
most. in evidence.
i 4'Gol ding 'em," says Bill looking back
viciously at his scythe, there was eight
billion of 'em ,ris up around me!'
Come on boys says father, we've got
to get this hay lot moved before sun
down."
They're too thick up there, pop,' says
Bill.
wal then, git your scythe and start
down beyond and leave that till later.
They'll settle down.
So we all take hold again but it isn't
as hard work as it was before. Some
thing has happened. There is something
to think about. BY and by father says
drily:
"Bill made pretty good time acrost the
lott
Then we all holler like good and Bill,
Il he says
Well, I guess you'd run If you moved
into a. yeller. jackets nest, by gravy!,, m
"A Fargo restaurant man COMPLAINS al
patrons who come in, call up their best
girls and spoon so loud and long that
other patrons at the tables become faint
and leave their pie mangled and uneaten
Two thousand Mormon missionaries are
in the field. The inevitable conflict is an.
preaching. This nation cannot long re.
main half bigamy and half monogamy.
, A wise editor in Ohio is getting ricl
, turning out obituary poetry. He has {
fine selected stock on hand which he sup
, plies the country in time of bereavement
or you can have a piece specially writer
for you for SO cents. He advertises b,
r circular and is doing so we'll that he ha
put up a. fine old ancestral mansion AM
is the magnate of the town. Watch OH
j for the coming in your consciousness O
the Bright Idea. There's money in It.
The Japanese do not have consumption
j Even the children are taught how t
q breathe. 81.
L Prince Uktomsky is suffering fror
p nervous strain, not from hanging as re
q ported Bad time to have nervous strai
n when there's big war on. s.-
IS According to a southern medical io,,rns
J. blush is temporary crythema an
- calorific effulgence of the physiognom,
" eatiologized by perceptiveness Of the sen
" sorium when in a predicament of uneuui]
1T lbr1ty from a sense of shame, anger @
n other cause, eventuating in paresis {
o. :. the vasomotor filaments Of the facts
N capillaries. -a.. .... >,s... :.5
IS The beef trust will not be interested
- near. that beef commands fabulous price
y, in Port Arthur. It does that in the Unite
~ States. e@el 1s r-, ~ Isl"
London Tid-Bits declares that poke,
of visiting cards bearing the most dis
lg t1ngu1shed names, and each printed in
Is different fashion, can be purchased for
mere tr1tie. These cards are for the mos
J. part-as one of the vendors assured tt
y writer-used by persons Of social prefer
sions who wish to impress people of the
own circle. In the hall or on one of tt
dining room tables elaborate salvers al
left carelessly about, each one piled wit
cards bearing most distinguished name
and OF course the waiting visitor, exam
ri ming these cards to pass the time, is pre-
D sun1ed to be deeply impressed by tt
4 weight of the social circle in which tt
owner Of the drawingroom mixes
4 They are telling story in the west
le asy bachelor who thought he was safe i
st going to one Of those ice cream socia
i because there We're so many people Their
III Fatal dalliance! A genial old maid serve
him, not SO very old either, and, then toe
seat at the table facing him. BY ar
~ by, politely solicitous for his comfort, 81
~ asked -,,.-. ,----..,,ss
is there anything else you wish?"
Il wish" said the old bachelor with
;s smirk and bow, here's where he fl
down, that might never sit down at
table without seeing your charming IA
re- opposite me-
er ."Oh, my!" said the spinster, "do "
M mean it?"
D. Mean it! Mean it," said the bachelc
MT how can you think me guilty Of trifling
The next day the spinster told all h
friends and some others that she had a
he Tcepted the bachelor. The bachelor VOW
on by all the gods that he was but bandyi,
phi words with a woman who seemed a /
s, 9 f1frtatious Then the maiden melted in
ce tears and told how her heart was BET
ht lacerated. And thereupon the bachel
surrendered and the pair were tnarri
and lived happily forever more
at Not such a bad idea, eh?
". A. J. r.
DIDN'T MAKE THEM SETTLE
Luverne Herald.