The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-01-31

will sell frostless, bracing, warm, yet
| unlanguid air, braided in and in with
sunshine, and odored with the breath
! of flowers. The purchaser of this jol
/ lot of climate and scenery will be pre-
| scented with a deed to piece of land
| 50x1O0 feet known as Lot A, in Block
251. The title to the land will be guar
| anteed by the present owner. The title
! to the ocean and sunset, the hills and
the clouds, the breath of the life-giving
| ozone and the song of the birds, is guar
| anteed by the beneficent God, who be-
slowed them in all their beauty and
affluence upon Block ISL and attached
| them thereto by Almighty warrant as
an incorporeal hereditament to run with
the land forever"
AAA
Sometimes the advertiser extolled his
wares in verse.
s2500-HALF CASH.
ION the first fair slope of Middletown
Heights,
Warmed by the day and kissed by the
nights;
And moistened with mornings silver
dew,
Reposes fair block number two
Occasionally in their advertisements
these gentlemen would tell the truth,
just to prove to the world that she
was mighty, even If she did lie in the
bottom of a well. The following is
nearly literal copy of such an adver-
tisement.
FOR SALE-Block 602 Middletown
Heights Addition. This choice prop
erty is situated partly on the nearly
perpendicular sides, and partly at the
bottom of a deep arroyo. Parties de-
string to visit it will need a rope lad
der and a pair of steel-lined, cactus
proof pantaloons. 1t drains a soap
factory, two slaughter houses and a
bone-yard. 1t would make an admir-
able picnic ground for tourists from
Chicago, for the smells of it would re-
mind them of Home, Sweet Home 1t
could be cut up to advantage into post
holes. A splendid view of the sky can
be obtained from it by lying upon your
back. It will be sold at sacrifice as
the owner desires to go abroad-as far
abroad as possible"
The next day a customer appeared.
How much,' said he, do you ask for
this block of land?" Two hundred ana
fifty dollars" was the answer. ST will
take it, said he, make out your
deed do you know what you are
buying? Have you seen it?" said the
agent. YES" was the answer, II have
seen as much of it as I could by look
ing into the hole where it is. It's pretty
bad, though not so bad as you state.
Anyhow I'll buy it. Here's your mon
ay.' The deed was soon executed.
- II Fo&a
4 don't usually pry into the business |
# a customer, but I would really like |
% hear what is your object in buying /
his block ST am the proprietor of |
saloon on the water 'front.' was the |
answer. Sailors get drunk and get
nto trouble and I have to furnish bail. |
have plenty of money, but to be eli !
cible as surety I must be the owrer
# real estate. Now 1 can qualify. :,
ee?'
Tt may not be denied that the ven
ors of tdirt" occasionally INDUCED in
trategy. When, on a December morn
n.y. a train filled with tourists from
he blizzard tortured northwest would
oil into a Southern California seaside
ity, and the excursionists would jour-
ey past rose gardens and orange
roves and behold men and women
athing in the surf, they were pre-
AIRED to become real estate investors.
hey did not know that a syndicate Of
sal estate brokers paid the bathers one
ollar per pair each to battle in the
inter waters, and that some of the
ardens were kept alive with pumped
alter costing one dollar for each one
lousand gallons. The ocean water
as not really very cold, but people
ID not usually battle in it in Decem-
ar, and the fresh water was a trifie
,stly for profitable agriculture, but
le traffic was able to bear it.
A A
A gentleman who had previously been ! ;
INJECTED with a dime museum as THE ,
uman Frog in a Glass Tank opened :
real estate Office in San Diego, and I
cured free advertisements by having I
friend tumble off the steamer wharf {
TO the bay, and Immediately plunging h
and rescuing the drowning man. OF T
urse he received a half column G
rite-up for his heroism. But after this | e
d occurred three times, the reporters V
ere a little shy and our friend had
look UP a new sensation.
He secured it. His wife had exhibit II
in the same museum as 1.-The Lady s
18th an Iron Jaw" She became ex- n
ed over an alleged delinquency Of a
he Human Frog" and acted so vio- II
,tly that she was arrested. She II
.uggled with the officers and they | i"
ndcuffed her; but she liberated her =
{ by biting off her handouts, and y
az LET her 90 She and the Human =
eS let hei 81 SH. e--N, .-i F
og adjusted their difficulties, and the =.
xt morning the real estate firm Of -
ich he was a member had another | h,
umn of free advertising.
A A A
! company of SPECTATORS proposed r,
esta bIish a Monte Carlo at the little II