The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-05-05
At the Bargain Sale.

7 HAD business engagement with
a man whose Office was in large
building near the retail district,
and after had made the visit to
him, I took short cut to my own Of
fee through street devoted almost
entirely to the lady shoppers Of the
city. As turned corner came face
to face with Mrs. H. She was on the
warpath, in company with hundreds of
other ladies. The war was caused by
Oppenheimer's annual bankrupt sale
of ladies' goods. only knew of bar
gain sales through the newspapers, and
while 1 never was especially anxious
to attend one, willingly accompanied
Mrs. H. at her suggestion. And right
there dropped the watermelon"
We arrived at Oppenheimer's front
entrance, which was besieged by fran
tic females of every class, and by dint
of perseverance and the ignoring of
5riendly jabs in the eye by obtrusive
parasols, likewise sundry pokes in the
ribs by feminine elbows, Mrs. H. and
entered the store, where unheard of
bargains are offered with frightful reg
ularity. AS rule the gentler sex is
very bright, but all rules are suspended
at bargain sales. What man could be
bamboozled into believing that Open
heimer can fail four times year for
twenty years and still have enough
business left to burn out every six
months for the next twenty? Or,
what man would buy hat worth So
for $3.68? It's the odd cents that
catches the ladies every time. And
they fight for chance to get stuck.
Yes indeed. used to think that the
jokes in the "funny column" were
grossly exaggerated. 1 know better
now.
We were trying to line up in front
OF counter where was exposed fol
the rioters big bunch of artificial
flowers. Such wriggling and twisting
and pushing never saw. Interposing
my massive frame between Mrs. H
and shrieking woman, we gained the
desired position, much to the shrieker's
discontinue. "How fortunate that
played center rush on the Harvard
team" said to Mrs. H.
Mrs. H. was too busy grabbing flow
ers from the hands of an elderly lady
to answer. The elderly lady grabbed
for fresh supply from the counter
when Mrs. H. gave little yell of dis
may to find that some female haC
yanked the flowers from her hand
That same bunch was passed, or rathe
yanked, to the hands of some half doz
on before it was finally secured by dam
who fled with her prize to the wrapping
counter. The company of erstwhil'
possessors of the flowers called to eacl
other that the lady who fled was tn
"boldest thing" they ever saw.
$50 unladylike," said Mrs. II.
"Yes, indeedw said 1, gently Olsen
gaging the hand Of buxom matrol
from my coat collar. I believe tina
old girl was going to strangle me TO
being in her road.
The flowers were soon torn to shred
or trampled under foot, and the ladle
formed flying wedge and made TO
the ribbon counter. We were abou
three rows from the front at the touch
down. Being unable to retreat or ad
vance, we did the next best thing
yell. l caught the infection. If ther
was no sense In it all, there was a
least excitement. In the crush a yer
obese woman calmly stood on my foe
and when patience ceased to be a vii
tue remarked: "Excuse me, MADAM
bat if you will kindly allow me, wi
stand on my own foot" Such sni
of contempt! Served me right. 1 ha
no more business at that unlawful al
sembly than lady has at stag part.
The girls supposed to be selling th
ribbons were faint from fatigue, cause
by jerking the ribbons from the hand
of alleged purchasers. We were the1
fully ten minutes and 1 didn't hear
"Cash!" CALL
Mrs. H." said I, "has Oppenheime
all the ribbons c0rnered?"
"Why, no." said she; "Grinsmeye
has some, but his fire sale is next week