The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1904-11-11
POTTAR.S COURTSHIP.
BY MAX ADELER.

40 you see lndt Slfl. asked POJtel
waving his hand toward her, as sh
passed the WINDOW. Il came near mar
Sying her once
Why didn't you?"
I'll tell you. | went to see her on,
vening-courting her, you know-anC
we sat in the front parlor on an ole
haircloth sofa. One of the spiral spring!
N the seat must have work ed loose some,
how, for one end of it stuck through q
Email hole in the haircloth. didn't no
uee it when sat down, and sat right
over it. l wriggled about a little, !
s'pose, during the evening, and the end
OF that spring gradually worked through
my trousers. The more wriggled, the
more the spring worked up. 1t kept pay
ing out and paying cut apparently, I'M
sh 1 must have had q least two or three
turns circled away inside of my clothes.
L didn't know it then; we were talk
ing along in the loveliest manner, Emma
and l, when suddenly felt something
cold touch my skin. jumped, of course,
nut found that the spring held me fast
10 the sofa Emma asked me what was
me matter and let on fly or some
thing had bitten me on the hand. Then
slid my hand down quietly and ascer-
tanned the truth. | tried to pull hard.
They were my la t years trousers, and
u knew tt ey were ten6er.
Emma asked me not to go. snd said
wouldn't, and Gi'r't. But the con-
yersatlol took saGder tone after that,
and Emma wanted to now if was low
spirited about anyth 7g. l said no. but
was trying to think of sc-re poetry that
wanted to quote to her Sc said she
would remain perfectly silllt while
thought 1t up.
The silence BEGAN painful rcwever,
and l asked her if she would rlsase ask
her father to core downstairs a mo-
ment, so th.t could whisper something
TO him. Emma said that her father had
gone to vestry meeting. requested
her, then, to send for her Brother Bill.
SO that | could tell him. But she said
that Bill was at his glee club rehearsing
FOR serenade. told her that her
Brother Charley wudid DO IL he was at
home. orher Uncle Aleck. Ionly wanted
10 see one of them for minute to ex-
plain something to him.
Emma said she was sorry. but Char
ley was out parading with the torchlight
procession and her Uncle Aleck was on
visit to Kalamazoo. Would her mother
do. or her Aunt Jane? said No. they
wouldn't do So we sat, and sat and sat
there. Emma yawning in the most
manner, and asking me IL |
brought my overcoat with me, and hint
ng all kinds of ways for me to quit
did make one little start. but I |
heard something tear, and I was afraid |
those trousers would fall on the carpet |
IN ruins, so ! gave 1t up and remained |
Iuiet. After a bit Emma asked me to !
walk upstairs to see her mother and eat |
In apple.
Il told her | would be glad to go, bur |
didn't feel well. So she called her |
mother and her aunt down to see about
ne, and they asked me If 1t was chills, or
or vertigo, or billiousness,
md so on, until | was pretty near crazy.
Ind then asked Emma's mother il she
would have any objection to lending me
he sofa for few days; said should
Ike to take it home with me that even
ng. So they thought really was in
ane. and they all three retreated to con-
ult about the situation. Then | gave
ne awful jerk and the trousers didn't
Ip. but out came four spiral springs as
ig as barrel hoops, Il seemed to me, and
hey went jangling about my legs in the
1ost startling manner So didn't stop
D untangle them. rushed out into the
all, seized my hat, and fled. But, just [
; I opened the front door, ran against +,
harley, coming home from the torch
ght procession. and behind him was
mma's Uncle Aleck, just returned from
aIamazoo. They mistook me for a
nrgIar or something, and we had ,
critic fight on the front steps, over and i
Ver. Uncle Aleck whacking at me with
Ia cane when he saw chance and the
,iral springs whizzing about awful to
'e.
80 Charley he whipped, and when
nce Aleck helped pick me up, and
told them who was, they apologized,
1t said:
"'You inhuman and diabolical pirates, :
mt you apologize to me! l Twas going !
marry Emma! But now I'd see her !
tucked into the river first. No more Of II
'ur crowd for mel
''Then went home, and by the time a
as well, Emma was engaged to young
.llow from Maryland, I'm looking r.
ound now for some nice girl whose q
use Is furnished exclusively with 81
orris chairs. IN. Y. Weekly. d
ia