Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-10-21
DRIFTWOOD

UnlT / NOOU
Built and run by y..................Lu Lue +. Vernon
Business rooms. ms....................Any old place
Ucces washed up by the tide. doomed sawed.
split and piled for the perusal and pastime Of
paid up subscribers, also for those who beg. bor-
row and steal the STANDARD in order that they
may enjoy little sunshine they journey
through the vale of tearsl
Some people admire and study work
ofart, but few wish to learn the art OF
work.
1t seems funny to us to see the pro.
hibitionist borrow house rent from a
saloon keeper.
Judge Parker has the best views on
labor of any man who was ever nomi
mated for President.
When Lincoln, died the White House
went in black. Now the blacks 60
into the White House.
The mermaid may, like the rest OF
her sex, open her mouth a good deal,
but she never puts her foot into it.
Judge Parker, as Presidential can
didate, occupies the center of the
stage. Teddy is skulEing behind the
wings.
If vote for Turner "is vote for
Parker and poverty" as the P.-I. says,
then we want poverty in large-sized
chunks.
We read in paper the other day OF
king in Africa who had been drunk
for fifteen years. This is what might
be called soaking reign.
A barber always buys the best red,
white and blue pole in the market. 1t
must be nice. Still, any saw-tooth,
cheap set Of razors will do.
The girl who wears light .cClored
dress to picnic, looks at the close OF
the day great deal like the pies look
when taken out OF the basket.
While Paris has an educated horse
that can almost talk, the United
States has a Swallow" that does talk,
but his sayings don't amount to much.
A Mormon boy over in Utah,
One day CHANGED to meet his own pa
Cried the glad little one:
Shake pa, I'm your son.
Indeed !" said the man, who's your
ma"'
Major General Corbin is out with
an official report opposing marriage in
the army. The Generals own swell
wedding year ago will be recalled by
those who are weighing his conclu.
sions.
The Department OF the Columbia
and use horses hereafter. Now il the
department will do away with few
miles of red tape, it will be accom-
plishing more good, no doubt.
We are tickled to know that Alice
Roosevelt has declared untrue the
story that she had pet snake. Just
because her papa has few "bugs"
which he fondly adores, is no sign
that Alice is insane or has crazy ideas
in the way of pets.
A man attending a performance of
Davy Crockett" with James Jeffries
playing the part of Davy went insane
at Carson, Nevada. Whether his in
sanity was caused by the delightful
acting Of Jeffries, or if, by the poor
production, report sayeth not.
An old logger put quietus upon a
fresh" young man, in an Olympia
saloon, the other day, who was trying
to "josh" the old fellow by referring to
the old mans thin hair, in these few
words: Young man, when my head
gets as soft as yours, can raise hair to
SELL"
The passenger who had been hold
ing himself up by strap in the Tum-
water car sat down in seat that had
just been vacated. "There is plenty
of room, ma'am," he said to the fat
woman sitting next. "Don't move"
1--WE don't have to-" she said with q
cheerful smile. 1--WE own the house
we live in."
Four aces, with the photo of Roose-
velt on the fifth card, won't win the
office of President of the United States,
this year. If the 6. o. p. know good
thing, when up against it, they will
destroy the stand phrase and substi.
tute Every Republican Hustle" for
the Democrats are all at the post, and
will win if possible.
It seems out of place to us to see a
high anti-gambling church member
walking along Fourth street with a
button on the lapel of his coat con-
tanning the fac simile of four aces Of
playing cards with the fifth card con.
tanning photo of Teddy" while
underneath is the printed Hanna
phrase d" Stand Pat"
The man who attends the St. Louis
exposition will barely have time to
work and save enough money to get
his watch out OF pawn in St. Louis,
before he will have TO put it into the
hands of his Uncle" in order to visit
the Lewis and Clark fair in Portland.
Oregon. Some people have no idea Of
giving people time to save up a few
"ducats."
"Don't Forget" is the name OF a
SuiOOH III ocdttlc. w uht u
could be written, using the above title
for text. Let us see. "Don't for.
get" to call at our place when dry.
"Don't forget" to put the cover on the
mustard mug. "Don't forget" to pay
for the drink you order. "Don't for
get" to keep sober, so you can find the
place again.
Great Editor lin Seattle)-I think it
would be good idea to print our cir
culation at the head of our editorial
page. What's the population of this
country"
Business Manager" About eighty
million"
Great Editor" Well, we'll not
claim a circulation OF over seventy
five million. No use exaggerating."
A Republican exchange. in lauding
Roosevelt to the skies declares that