davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
GOVERNMENT CARRIAGE
GRAFT.
rFram the Baltimore News1

rFrom the Baltimore News.l
A young gentleman named c. E. Ian
dis of Indiana, who happens to have
been elected a member of the house of
representatives at Washington, and
whose brother, also from Indiana, is a
congressman, too, has turned his atten-
ton to literary work, in order that he
may properly maintain the reputation
of his state for producing original crea-
tons in printers ink. Mr.. Lands has
written a humorous sketch entitled "a
Bill to Amend the Legislative. Execu-
tive and Judiciary Appropriation Bill"
and the work has been adopted by the
house. When it gets to the senate it
will be so mutilated, emasculated, biffed
and swatted that it will go into history
as one of the most delightful pleasant
ries in the annals of funny things.
Briefly, Mr.. Lands little sketch pro-
vides for the adjustment of one of the
oldest and Oldest Of petty CRAFTS in
public service IF the bill becomes a
law, no part of the appropriation so
amended may be used for carriage hire
for any but the president and his secre-
tary and cabinet. That is, none of the
money from this particular appropria-
ton may be used for such a purpose
but there are the appropriations for mu
cilage, toothpiclzs, rubber heels, station
cry, chewing gum and ink, from which
carriage hire may be extracted by the
astute public servant. e., second sec
rotary to the assistant secretary to some
subordinate official in a department.
and applied to his wifes social calls or
his daughters drive down the ''ahve-
moo" It is very interesting to recall
that Attorney General Williams in
President Grants administration was re-
tired from public service because of his
fondness for diverting soap and towel
funds to a satin-lined carriage for his
wife, and was ever thereafter known as
'sI.andauIet'' Williams. If the CORE
spondent of the New York Sun has it
right, one government officer gets a
carriage by converting a screen
wagon into a brougham. In another
department an official gets horse, with
carriage and coachman, out of the fund
for removing waste paper. There is an
other Official lower down in the scale
than an assistant secretary, who has
two horses and carriages and two foot
men out of some fund or other. An
other takes his messenger home after
4 o'clock and converts him into a uni
eminent expense. The situation would
be iaHghabIe were it not so deplora BILE
But il Mr.. Lands expects-and he SAYS
he does-to reform anything with his
little amendment, he will find that the
yearnlng hunger of carriage grafters
win IN some way get into the govern
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[Frorn the Atchison Clio

LFron the Atchison Globe.1
Any town is a good town to a good
man.
The real leader of a convention is
never the man who makes the motions
When a man lends money to his kin,
his wife finds out about it before he has
really loaned it.
We would like to have curly hair long
enough to show that we despised 1t, by
cutting it off.
If you tell a woman that her house
work moves like clockwork, she Is like
Iy to invite you to dinner most any
time
Your friends will admit that you have
more than your share of trouble, if it
takes you as long as five minutes to tell
about 1t.
Every one seems to have a barbed
wire fence around his own sensitive
spots, while he insists upon bars down
in the case of other men.
IT is found by the wise ones that high
heels cause more backache than bending
over the washtub. and the wise ones
are right for once.
When a man has been around where
girls are. and had a compliment or two,
his wife finds that she has to begin all
over again, to take the coneeit out of
him"
Some people have such a reputation
for patience that when there is nothing
the matter with them, and they say so,
every one thinks: How brave to con-
ceal iti''
It is quite common to hear ill-natured
talk about people. If you want to at
tract attention, be different; say some
thing pleasant People hear so much
backbfting that they appreciate a little
kindness.
There is one thing certain: Mrs. Ly-
sander John Appleton's family win new
er have pneumonia if she can help it;
she hasn't used feather buster in her
house in two weeks, or any other kind
of a duster
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
BAILEY AND TIE FUTURE.

Only one governor before Governor
Bailey has been refused a denomination
by his party in the history of Kansas
That one was George T. Anthony. A
fight was started on Anthony because
he persisted in going against the advice
of his friends and those who had aided
him in becoming governor. The fight
on Bailey was started because he ac-
cepted the advice of his friends in
many instances and stood by those
who had aided him becoming COVER
nor.
Today George T. Anthony is regarded
as one of the greatest of Kansas COVER
nors. A few years hence history may
say the same of Willis ]. Bailey.
At this distance the fight on Anthony
seems to have been unfair and uncalled
for. The present fight on Governor
Bailey will go down in public history
as extremely unjust, and the men who
instigated it will be stigTnatized as
seekers for revenge. This is not saying
that E. w. EIoch will be SO stigmatized,
because Mr. Hoch did not instigate this
fight himself He simply allowed him
self to be dragged into it, and he al
lowed those who hated Governor Bailey
49, @@~~A-AN
to gain their revenge.
The truth of the claim of those who
are behind the fight on Bailey that it
is a fight against factionalism and for
purity in politics is shown by the fact
that the same element is now making
a strenuous effort to keep T. T. Kelly,
one of the leaders of the Burton fac
ton, and next to his master. Burton,
r. i'm Kan
sas political circles today.
Governor Bailey is still a compare
lively young man. He will be a leader
in the future. He is in the prime Of
life and is still below the age at which
most men attain their highest eminence
in life He has yet nearly a year to
serve as governor of Kansas, and after
that he will go home to his big Nernaha
county farm, where he is held in the
highest esteem by his neighbors.
And right here it is perhaps we'll to
observe the difference in the standing
of Governor Bailey and Treasurer Kelly
in their respective home counties. Bail
ey has the respect and confidence of all
Kelly is looked down upon by the ma
jorfty as a man who is dishonest to a
public trust
Governor Bailey is the only farmer
who has occupied the gubernatorial
chair in Kansas in a generation-and
Kansas is a farmers state. too. Nor
is he only a theoretical farmer, like so
many politicians who pose as farmers.
Farming is his chief occupation and his
principal delight. He is a great sue
cess as a farmer, as his big Nemaha
county farm demonstrates, and time
will prove that his administration was
also one Of the best ever given Kansas
by a chief executive.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
JAYHAWKER Lors.

Great Bend society events have six
course luncheons.
Very properly Mr.. Herder of Yates
Center runs a dairy.
Reports from Mayetta indicate that
the ice boxes are full as well as the ice
houses.
Clay Center young ladies gave a
ground hog social with sausage refresh
ments.
Burlington party advertises for a
lost pocketbook that actually contained
no money.
For a change a Fort Scott woman
attempted to blow herself up instead
of her husband.
Three tramps had the nerve to ap-
pear in lola looking for work. The city
gave them employment.
Girard is a town of open saloons and
a big row is on over what has become
of the collected fines.
An Atchison alarm clock not only
throws you out of bed but starts the
fire and puts the kettle on.
A Lawrence man has been found
brave enough TO come out in print OPP
posing Congressman BoweFsock.
According to a Winfield paper a citi
zen of that town was thrown from
buggy while out riding in a spring
wagon.
Mr.. Poor is charged with running a
poker room at Winfield. If the officers
let him alone he can soon change his
name.
Emporia is discussing with more or
less vigor why the Santa Fe trains are
allowed to obstruct the crossings be-
You'd stipulated time.
A protracted meeting at the Red Pep
per. Usage county school house is maxi
ing hot for the sinners and causing
tears of repentance to flow.
Three Sumner county youths had Il
frece battle over girl who afterwards
declared that not a one OF them was
worth wiping her feet on.
The Topeka police have a cellar full
of Taided liquor. Their theory is that
the longer whisky is kept the better it
Island the better the public is also.
A funny thing happened at Yates
Center. A darby and a white man
We're arrested. The white man had a
pocket full of razors and the negro a
gun.
A fire of s43 and a 45 days Jail SEN
tence was given Mcpherson epicure
for stealing two tough old hens that
weren't worth eating Occasionally
honesty is the hest policy.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

ed together with Senator Burton, was
tried on the charge of fraudulently US
ing the mails. On technical grounds a
verdict of aequittaI was returned. but
the judge expressed his regret that an
acquittaI was necessary and told the
jury that this man ought to be in the
penitentiary.'' Equally severe were
the comments made later by an in
vestigating committee of the Missouri
state senate.
Alliances between dubious business
enterprises and United States senators
or law firms of which those senators
are members have become a scandalous
and alarming feature of national poll
tics. The real purpose of these sinister
combinations, even where no specific
law Is violated, is unnistakable- 1t is
high time that the senate took action
to purge itself of this disgrace.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
o1rAKER REFLECTIoNs.
TFrom the Philadelphia Record.1

TFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
When hope dies. see that it dies of
old age.
B'rer Ground Hog done seen his
shadder.
Vanity is the popular bait in fishing
for compliments.
The manager of a burlesque show is
always a stickler for good form.
A person doesn't have to be musical
to be always harDing on something.
The trouble with self-esteem is that
it too often suffers from -exertion.
The young man who wants to make
his mark in the world should avoid red
The fellow who passes a counterfeit
coin is looking for change for the
better.
People who marry in haste often find
that they have no leisure for repent
ance-
It is hard to convince a man that
he is wrong, but still harder to convince
him that you are right.
Family pride is all right, but it is
well to bear in mind that we may be
ancestors ourselves some Gay.
Harduppe-"What would you say if
I should ask you to marry me?" Miss
Gotrox-'I should compliment you upon
your colossal nerve"
TT is only a step from life to DEATH -
remarked the invalid father. Eyes,
and a stepfather afterWard," replied
the DrecociouS child.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
SENATE SHOULD PURGE ITSELF
[From the Chicago News.l

Il 81
1t viii be well for the prestige of
the United States senate If the charges
brought against Senator Burton of
Kansas by the federal grand jury at
ST. Louis lead to something more defn-
lite and satisfactory than a perfunctory
investigation or an acquittal on techni-
ca1ities.
The specific charge against Senator
Burton is that of taking pay for using
his official influence at Washington OF
BEHALF of one of the "get-rich-ouiclx',
companies which flourish in st. Louis.
According to the Indictment, it was
through his intercession that the post
master general and other high officials
were prevailed upon not to declare the
companys use of the mails fraudulent
The truth or falsity of this charge
will be determined by the federal
courts, but, no matter what the verdict
may be, there are certain points which
will require a good deal of explanation
Senator Burton denies any impropri-
ETY. on his part, but virtually admits
his close relationship with the company
in question. He AYERS that his eonnec-
ton with the concern was simply that
of a lawyer professionally employed TO
defend a suit Of prosecution What
the public would like to know is what
business a United States senator has
30 ally himself with 'get-rich-quick''
swindle in any capacity. The Rialto
Grain and Securities company, by
which he was professionally employ
ed" has been before the public for
some time as, the defendant in prosecu-
lions for fraud. It's history as recorded
in a recently published volume. Gold
Bricks of Speculation" By. John Hill,
Jr., of the Chicago board Of trade.
shows it to be typical of its class
4 year ago its president. now indact-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
King Edward's Prayer Book.

The Guild of Handicraft has been hold
ing a private view at its gallery in New
Bond street of specimens of work exc
cuted by members during the last twelve
tuous vellum copy of a Prayer Book
which the king has consented to accept in
by his majesty's permission, is to be
known as King Edward WIS Prayer
Book. The decorations consist of about
$50 wood cut blocks from the various ar
tistie designers. while the binding is in
oak boards, with leather and iron clasps,
modelled on a fifteenth century form.
The folio opens. on, a two page decoration
Edwards. with his present majesty in
the. center. and opposite is design in
with the dome of St. Paul's, a group of
city church spires and Westminster, with
the Abbey and the Thames. In succeed
ing pages the decorations consist of a
representative series of portraits of emil
nent English men and women who in one
way or another have been identified with
the church in England from st. Alban
down to our own time.-The Living
Church.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
The First Riding Lesson.

The pupil of a good riding master is
usually disappointed at not being al
lowed to do more In the first lesson. He
expects to mount the horse at once.
start off with a trot and wind up with
a canter. He is a. little annoyed upon
finding that the first lesson consists
almost wholly of oral instruction and
a great part of it on foot at that. II
the master is conscientious he will not
permit the anxiety to be off and doing
to interfere with a proper understand
ing of the A B of the art. Should
the beginner apply at one of the big
riding academies in New York for in
struction, the first lesson will begin
with the leading by a groom of a horse,
bridled and saddled. into the center OF
the ring. The riding master and the
pupil take their stand close by, and the
former begins to explain painstakingly
the various parts of the saddle and
bride and their purposes. Before any
thing further is attempted. the pupil
must be able to answer simple ques-
tions in regard to the Dommel and the
cantIe. tina curb and the snaff1a. and to
know the uses of the two bits.-Country
Life in America.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

According to reports from the branch
offices of r. G. DUN & Co. throughout
the United States, commercial failures
during the month of January numbered
LAOS. with an aggregate defaulted in
debtedness of $1Ss483, 573, as compared
with 1853 failures in the corresponding
month of 1903 for $12. 97e. $40. Of man
ufacturers there were 271 defaults in
volving 1851, 636, against 249 last year
for $5.736, s16- In trading 1.O79 failures
for S. 224, 937 largely exceeded she $50
a year ago. when liabilities were &c.
S43,179 Other commercial failures
numbered IS for IS. 81. 900. against 81
failures for only 1899, 4S4 In addition to
these strictly commercial failures there
were eleven banking suspensions for
SS,223,000 the Clarion Steel Co.which in
vo1ved 81. 500. 600. and the International
Fire Engine Co. for $3.50, 900. Banking
and other fiduciary failures during Jan
uary, 1903, numbered ten, and the
amount involved was 81, 453, 954, while
two years ago there We're twelve fail
ures in this class for $11. 010, 1928.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

1t looks as though Foraker has an
ambition to become the Burchard of
the administration. Senator Foraker
declares that it was foreign to his pur-
pose to favor the trusts in the bill he
introduced the other day, to amend the
interstate commerce and antitrust
laws. The senator says that when this
bill is studied it will be found to have
a different purpose from that which is
asoribed to it by those who have crfti-
cised his action. Attorney General
Knox declared that the Foraker bill
would repeal the anti-pooling section
of the interstate commerce law, and
would so change the antitrust law
as to give foreign commerce a distinct
advantage over domestic commerce in
the matter OF freight rates. The attor-
ney general is of the opinion that it
would be unwtse to enact the proposed
legislation. He follows this with the
declaration that the Foraker bill does
not meet with the approval of the
president or the administration, and
Senator Foraker had admitted that the
bill was introduced without consulting
the president or the administration.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

fatuous folly the true character of
which will become as clear as MONDAY
long before the time shall have arrived
Tor the national convention of the Re
publican party to make it's decision.
The one condition upon which such a
step might possibly be made to seem
safe one Will be absent. That condition
IS the matching of the act by one OF
equal faulty on the part of the Demo
Gratis. The Republican convention will
be held before the Democratic conven-
ton; and-in nominating Hanna the
Republicans would be putting him up,
not against a Democratic candidate OF
known weakness or vulnerability, bull
against the strongest man the Demo-
Gratis may have the sense to put into
the field against him. They have ma
ter1al in their party for making more
than one nomination which, as against
Hanna, would mean almost a Demo-
cratic walkoveT. If RooseveIt's super
iority in character and popularity were
not of themselves to put the Hanna
forces to rout when the issue is finally
joined, this conclusive consideration of
expediency may with great confidence
be counted on to do the business. Re
publican conventions are not noted for
capacity for laundering, and there is
little reason to believe that the conven-
ton of 1904 will make the colossal blum
der of putting up Hanna against the
Democratic field" With Democrat
of great strength against him. Roose-
welt might be beaten; Hanna's only
chance of election would lie in the
nomination of a Democrat of marked
weakness. The Republican party is too
much interested in victory to rush into
the darkness of such a hazard as this.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.l

IFron1 the Chicago News-1
Trying to keep up appearances pulls
some men down.
Extremes meet; that's why art is long
and the artist short.
No oculist can remedy the short-sight-
edness Of q selfish person.
Many man who refuses to believe
the truth will swallow a lie
A man in reduced circumstances isn't
a woman's idea of a bargain.
A man naturally believes in the sur
vival of the f1ttest as long as he lives.
Nothing hurts a small man so much
as to have people ignore his threats
A woman's idea of happiness is to
possess something her neighbors can't
afford.
A bride is led to the altar just as if
she couldn't find the way regardless of
all obstacles.
Some times a married man talks in
his sleep and sometimes he can't sleep
because his wife talks.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06
REFLECTIONS OF A BAoHELoI

IFrom the New YORK Press.
The clever way to praise most women
is to damn their rivals.
A woman can lose the most ardent
lover by buying his cigars for him.
When q girl no longer bushes at
what she blushed at before it is a sign
the honeymoon is over
No woman ever has any patience
with a novel where the author forgets
to have the heroine's laughter ripple.
A Mormon must have lots of fun
threatening his wives to change his in
surance policies in favor of the other.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

The Republicans IA Bourk Cockran's
district seem inclined to offer no oppo-
sitiOn to his election to congress. Why
should they oppose him? He is a Re
publican about half the time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

A bill has been introduced IN the
Minnesota legislature making ground
hog day q legal holiday. A popular in
stitution like the ground hog is deserv-
ing Of official recognition.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

Dondt pegin to tink she thinks you
Vas a prize
She vas framing COP a chob
IND you profe yourselluf a slob
Uf you hessidade und stobp-
Chusd dake your hat und ofer-coadt
JJnd DUCK
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

The Cleveland Plain Dealer calls at
tentiOn to the fact that people go to
Dakota to be divorced and to st. Louis
TO be indicted. The courts appear to
be easy at both places.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06


It was some months after that, when
winter was in full sway, that the wo-
man went running over to the dealer s
house with her apron thrown over her
head.
II can't make that last coal you sent
me burn" she announced. Something
is the matter with the stove. 1 wish
you would come over and see what
should be done to the stove"
The dealer went over to the house
and inspected the stove. He found that
the ashes had accumulated until they
were packed up against the CRATE and
there was no draft. He took the ash
pan out, emptied the ashes, put in
some paper, kindling and coal, struck
a match to it and it began to burn like
a hot blast furnace and the draft was
something terrific.
81 never thought of the ashes" said
the woman. 'I am much obliged to
you
That's not all said the dealer: I'll
charge you S1.25.'
why, what for? I could have done
that if I had known it was the ashes
that kept the fire from burning.
Perhaps you could. madam. but [
had to do it, and so I'll charge you slips.
1 could have taken up my own calf last
summer, but you took it up first
The woman expostulated, but the
man was firm, and when he sent the
bill for coal he sent bill ''for removing
ashes from stove, $t25." She paid it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

ALB lily n I'm
Uf he wants to let
you in
Und diffy COP der
tin
Dondt listen to hiss
chin
Chusd dake your
hat und ofer-
coadt
Und DUCK
Uf you spot a vo-
mans making
Gnn-UOn ounCa
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

Why should Senator Foraker wish
20 NEEDLE with the antitrust law?
Hasn't his colleague declared time and
again that there are no trusts?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

Lods uf dimes you obsairf a woman
vat ISIS mighty particularful aloud der
conversations vot needs vorser a trip
to der laundry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

mental pantry just the same, and reach
the jam and cookies from the topmost
shelf as of yore.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

Der anti-machinists ISIS greatly agi-
faded Offer der finding uf a stocking
filed nit sand, er some such Weapon, in
der Holton tabernacle. Uf some uf
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

Der chef uf bolice sayss in hiss noos-
baper dots der choindts ISIS closed und
boos ISIS hard to get. We hat discofered
dot he ISIS partially right. Id ISIS fiery
hard to get ad certain dimes Fer in
stance. a Teller hats to hurry some uf
he ged more den Won drink bedween
II SO ad night und 1901 der nexd morn
ing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-06

II Russia were to whip Japan. still
her title to Manchuria would hardly
stand in court.