Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-05-04

resign
1T wouldn't be fair for him 10 stay
There are three or four people in
Massachusetts who haven't been sec
rotary Of the navy yet"
John Sharp Williams Of Mississippi
won't get the democratic nomination
for vice president
Why are YOU of that opinion?"
Because the south is too busy re-
membering her dead men to pay any
attention to her live ones"
After the fish had been served a club
member. dressed in flaming red uni
form and carrying big gong. came
into the room beating the gong Justify.
He announced that the Gridiron's clubs
whitewashing committee was to hold
an open session to whitewash some
prominent men who were accused Of
various high crimes and misdemean-
ors. The whitewashing committee ap-
peared. headed by member carrying
the mace OF the house Of representa-
tives and followed by a whitewasher.
dressed in white and carrying a white
wash pail and brush.
The culprits were Attorney General
reckless in the pursuit of trusts:
Speaker Cannon. who was charged with
being absurdly infatuated with the
senate and the American Institute of
Architects: Representative j. Adam
Bede, who was charged with being a
humorist: Senator Fairbanks who was
charged with being entirely too radical
and unconventional in his views. and
Fourth Assistant Postmaster General
Bristow, who was charged with trying
to put congress in a hole.
Knox, Cannon Fairbanks and Bede
We're expeditiousy whitewashed the
official whitewasher daubing life sized
had been reached. The committee de-
cided to whitewash Bristow. although
the evidence against him was very
strong. but. the Whitewasher was
obliged to report that the whitewash
would not stick and the meeting OF
the committee broke up in great dis
order
Early in the dinner 1t was announced
that the Gridiron club votes Gridiron
honors to distinguished persons every
nineteen years. Ballots were distribu-
ted for the members and guests The
first ballot was on who is the hand
soonest man in congress-" This re-
suited in tie vote between Repre-
sentative Cushman of Washington and
Representative Powers Of Massachu-
sets A viva voce vote was called for
and Cushman won., Powers gave him a
mirror on behalf Of the club, and
Cushman presented Powers with
curling iron as a consolation prize.
In the vice presidential contest Rep
resentative Lowering OF Massachusetts
was declared the winner and was given
admonition that he could carry that
Massachusetts.
The selection OF the person to make
the nominating speech for President
Roosevelt fell between Senator Scott
OF West Virginia and Representative
Tim" Sullivan Of New York Scott
won and was given a megaphone "in
Roosevelt. which you utter rather
softly, may be more distinctly heard.
Four Assistant Postmaster General
Bristow was voted to be the best con.
ciliator in public life and was given an
AK. and Senator Fairbanks was voted
to be the public man who commits him,
self most recklessly on public ques-
lions.
Every fifteen minutes during the
night bulletins We're posted on a large
bulletin board. These bulletins began
with this weather report:
Cold wave for Hearst BOOM
German boom drifting and variable.
Parker boom in area Of high pressure
Roosevelt hoom generally fair. with
local disturbances in New York and
Illinois.
Some of the other bulletins were.
GREAT EXCITEMENT
WASHINGTON, April 23.-Secretary
Moody told one Of Secretary Shaw's
stories at a reception of the Daughters
OF the American Revolution. A panic
was narrowly averted
SURE THING NOW
INDIANAPOLIS. April e3.-The AS
ISOLATION of Indiana Novelists and Lit
erary workers has Endorsed Roosevelt.
Tom Taggart comedies the state to the
republicans.
FRIGHTFUL DISASTER
BOSTON. April 27.-The Hearst
boom struck a mine here day before
yesterday and turned turtle The loss
lin money! was something horrible.
HIS POSITION OUTLINED
SYRACUSE, April 23.-Judge Parker
delivered an address here tonight. He
clearly defined his position on every
living issue except the tariff. the cur
rency. imperialism. the negro and the