davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

lam sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved
my life three years ago.-Mrs. THos- RoBBiss.
Maple Street. Norwich, n. Y, Feb. IA. ioool
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Prof Langley's perseverance may
yet be rewarded with success. He has
discovered and corrected SO many
weak places in his airship that there
can not be many more of them left.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Every criminal is entitled to a fair
trial.. And should have it, whether
he wants it or not.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

The crown prince of Germany ex-
periences the lot of most other bad
boys. When he disobeys orders, papa
spanks him.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

The fight over the great Plant es-
tate is not confined to the heirs alto
gether. Two states. where taxes on
inheritances, come high are deeply in
volved in it. 1t isssfich .pickings all
around. e.. o.,
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

All Up to Date Housekeepers
use Defiance Cold Water Starch, because il
Is better, and OF. more of it for sam,
money.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Monte Carlo has made profit OF
s7.000,000 during the past year. But
that will not keep other people from
thinking they can go there and beat
the game.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Bndd Doble says that Lou Dillon
will trot in 1855 or less next season,
and nobody is in a position to contra
dict him with authority
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

The Yale Daily News. a students
paper. has $4,000 libel shit%en' its
hands. The young men editing it
should understand that scurrilous per-
sonalities are a poor substitute for
arguments.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Andrew Carnegie's piper. Angus
Macpherson. has arrived in New York.
Mr.. Mcpherson is said to be capable
of producing drone of 100000 mos
quito power.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Every woman thinks in her secret
heart that il she were dressed like the
star in the play she would be much
more attractive.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

The man who first called 1t the
Sublime Porte must have had keen
sense of humor.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Metric System in New Zealand
The metric system has been adopted
by the Parliament of New Zealand. IL
is to go into effect in three years.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Economy is the road to wealth.
PUTNAM FADELESS DYE is the
road to economy.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Female Spirit-Have i got to, wear
that robe? st. Peter-That or nothing.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

tion, Denver. Col. says:
You are at liberty to
repeat what l first stated
through our Denver pa
pers about Doan's Kidney
Pills in the summer OF
1893, for l have had no
reason in the interim to
change my opinion of the
remedy. | was subject to
severe attacks of back
ache, always aggravated
If | sat long at a desk.
Doan's Kidney Pills abso-
lutely stopped my back
ache. l have never had
- - txrinoa Sinnab
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

This is leap year. a word to the wise
."ung woman is sufiicient-if the word is
"yes."
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

She-Don't you think that my hat is a
dream He-fes. but the bill is a night
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

The incest thing that goes into a girl :
Christmas stocking is what goes there on
other days. too.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

A smile of satisfaction goes with one of
Bakers ''Iiulhead" scent cigars.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13
THREE YEARS AFTER.

Eugene E. Lario. of 751 Twentieth
oyenue ticket seller in the Union Sta.
The Lamar register., 1904-01-13

Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo, N. Y.
For sale by all druggists, price so
cents per box.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
Drown in Short Time

"Th story frequently repeated
o professional divers who have
been able to remain under water for
over w minutes is silly" DR.. Joseph
Boehm tells me. mo one can remain
nde water that long without drown
ing, whether they are trs ined divers
or not. At Navarino, where the
sponge divers are reported to be able
to remain under water three and four
minutes, tests were made recently
and resulted in conclusively proving
that none of them remained down as
long as a minute and a half. Ninety
seconds seems a very long time to the
watcher on shore, and it is about the
limit of a divers endurance under
water. At Ceylon, where time tests
were also made among the famous
pearl divers, it was ascertained that
few of them remained below the sur
face as long as a minute, and other
tests made on the Red sea among the
Arabs proved hal a minute and a
quarter was the longest they could
endure without a fresh breath.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03

"On the coast Ct England several
years ago a diver, a trained diver, n
of the best on the coast, renowned
for his endurance, went down and
was pulled up SO slowly when he gave
the signal that he was under water
about two minutes and five seconds.
He was drawn out of the water in
sensible. with blood flowing from his
nose and ears, and it was only after
long and arduous work that his re-
covery from the effects of that two
minute stay under water was assured.
Drowning is a quick death. Even
though the water is kept out of the
lungs, insensibility will ensue in one
minute, and complete Inconsistencies
in two. The stories Of people who
have been in the water five minutes
being re3uscitated are generally mis-
takes or untrue. a nan could not be
in the water five minutes without
coming to the surface several times,
and be restored to life,"-St. Louis
Globe-DemCcrat.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
On MulebaCk in Bolivia

choose perhaps a shorter cut. II It
seemed to their instinct feasible, they
gathered their hind legs under them,
their front hoofs sticking stifly out in
front, and slid down on their bellies,
in a cloud of dust, and carrying with
them a small avalanche Of loose shale
as they landed in a section Of the trail
below. You sit back in your saddle
all saddles in these parts have crup-
pers and breastplates to prevent your
Siding W. the animals ears as you
go down or slipping off behind as you
go up a mountain path-and as you
watch the tossing line of packs below,
the speculation forces itself as the
consequences Of a mules misstep.
That it is not all idle speculation is
shown by the scattered skeletons Ee-
low in the valley, bleached to varying
degrees Of dull white."-
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
A Machine That Talks

A talking machine that has created
no little sensation is that just pro-
duced by DR.. R. Marage, a we'll known
member of the French academy of
medicine. 1t is an interesting device,
which reproduces with perfect accur-
acy the sounds of the human voice,
not, as in the case of the phonograph,
by merely repeating words spoken by
a person, but by a process which is
purely mechanical from start to fin
ish, and in which no word is spoken
by any human being. The sounds are
produced by a system of vibration.
Attached to the machine are a series
of plaster heads, five in all, repre-
senting the five vowels, a, g, i, O, H..
They are each q perfect model of a
persons mouth, fitted with pliable
lips and perfect teeth. Air currents
set In motion by the machine are
made to pass through the dummy
mouths, which are fitted with sirens.
Through his invention, DR.. Marage
has discovered that the steam sirens
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
Not MiltOn'S Great Work

When William Morris was playing
in "The Lost Paradise some years
ago the company happened to be book
ed in a Western town noted for its
religious tendencies. where theatri-
Gals were viewed askance. Compan-
les played there only when the exigen-
cies Of booking made it absolutely
necessary.
What was our surprise, therefore,
said Mr.. Morris, when we got to the
theater and were informed by the
manager that the house was sold out.
"'Say,' he asked, what sort of a
show is this, anyhow? Sort O. religi-
Gus, amt it?'
Our manager outlined the plot to
him. Never did l see such a trans
formation in a mans face; then, with
one short, powerful expletive, he
started down the street on a dead
run.
That night the theater was filled
to overflowing-men with elongated
locks and clerical bearing. a perfect
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03

symposium of parsons, preachers and
~theologues. Every last one Of them
held a book open before him. For an
overture the orchestra played Near.
err, My God, to Thee" and the audi.
ence raised its voice in chorus.
We'll, we didn't get far in the first
act before pandemonium broke loose.
One old preacher jumped over the
footlights and called me every name
in both ~Testaments, and several that
were in neither.
And what do you think it was all
about?
THE town was the seat OF a thee.
logical Institution. and every mothers
son Of them. and daughter, too, see.
ing the name of the play, The Lost
Paradise had come to hear a reading
from Millions Paradise Lost
That was the way the manager
had billed it.
1--WE left on a freight that night,
and didn't play a return date."-New
York Times.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03

used on board ships can be SO con
structed as to initiate certain sounds.
Thus different phonetic ~syllables may
be obtained which could be used to
form an international alphabet. BY
this ingenious contrivanoe attached to
this wonderful instrument it is posi-
BILE to see reflected in a tiny mirror
the vocal chords of q singer.
By the same device, one can also
trace their action, and see how, as
the note gets higher, the aperture be-
tween them becomes less and less,
until when the top note is reached it
is almost closed. AS the force of air
current expelled becomes stronger the
opening decreases in size. 1t increases
as the force becomes less. The small
er the aperture the greater the VI
bration. This is how human beings
get their singing voices. There is
no mystery about it," declares DR..
Manage. 1T is a purely mechanical
process, based on known laws Of high
err mechanics."-Sketch.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03

vancing as she spoke. It seemed as
II she were longing for him to un-
v his face, to take her into his
arms.
Alan" she cried, "oh. my darling,
are you not glad to see me?"
There vas still no doubt in her
mind. She thought that the JOY Of
seeing her had been too great. and
that he was trying to recover from
the shock. She had no doubt. poor
soul. at all. He loved her, therefore
her coming to him must be inexpres-
sible Joy.
Then Alan uncovered his haggard
face. "Glad? No! 1t has ruined my
life!" he cried brutality. But for the
moment he could think of nothing but
Joyce-his Joyce, with whom life had
begun SO joyfully, and whose heart he
must nov break, as his own had been
broken. Il wish l were dead!" be
said, with a sob.
"Alan!" The anguish in her voice
matched his. us that what you have
to say to me, your wife, the mother
Of your child, who has undergone
all hardships, and who has just lived
OF because you were in the world!
Oh, Alan, if you do not want me, I
had better CO.
She turned, walking unsteadily,
holding her child's hand tightly. And
then a great temptation assaulted Alan
Mackenzie. The temptation to let
her CO., to let her be lost to him. to
say nothing to Joyce; but to go on
And then he saw in a fash what his
life would be. How every moment OF
happiness with Joyce would have it's
corresponding moment of bitterness
| when he was alone; how he must live
a double life, always on the brink OF
detection. Not worse, perhaps, that
the life parted from Joyce; but then
he would be an honest man, and not a
traitor. He put his temptation away
from him, thanking God that he could
do SO, knowing that Joyce would not
love a man who was dishonorable. So
UClOic NclOulCd udu Il QOZ6u
steps away he called to her hoarsely
to come back. She turned at once.
obedient as always, and for a mo-
ment he hated himself for his brutal
ity to SO gentle a woman. Her tears
were falling down the beautiful face.
She looked up at him with the old
look of faithful love, still pushing
the child towards him.
Yes" she said, questioning him,
what is it, Alan?"
Il am married" he said, crudely
and hoarsely, thinking it best to tell
her at once. Il thought you were
dead. l heard nothing from you since
l left you; it is four years ago. They
told me all on board were drowned,
and l could hear nothing of you.
What wonder then / thought you
were dead? And SO l married, Yer
onica-I am married now!"
And then for a long time there was
silence between them.
(To be cOntinued.)
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
Cure for Backache.

Randolph. Neb., May 3O.-Cedar
county has seldom heard of a more
wonderful case than that of Mrs. Lucy
Nicolls Of this place. For a long time
Mrs. Nicolls suffered with very Sc.
we're pains in the back and almost in
stantly these pains left her. She has
tried doctors and everything. but
nothing had helped her till she used
Dodd's Kidney Pills. She says:
"Dodd's Kidney Pills did me SO
much good l can't tell. it was so won.
derful. My back hurt me all the time.
I doctored and tried everything, but
did not feel any better. l thought my
life was short on earth, but now l feel
like a new person. I used one box of
Dodd's Kidney Pills and I do not feel
the slightest ache or pain. l can turn
and twist any way without feeling it
and l feel so proud Of it l cannot
hardly express my gratitude to Dodd's
Kidney Pills for what they have done
for me-"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03

C. ]. Post, who Is travelling through
unknown South America" for Har-
per's Magazine, writes in the March
number of a dangerous ride through
the mountains of Bolivia:
1--WE kept on ascending between
winding walls" he says, at length
emerging on a narrow table land-the
top of the cliffs we had seen from the
decks of the Limari. A short distance
over the level ground, and then from
the farther edge we looked down on
the fiat. stony bottom of the Vitor Val
ley-a ragged gorge that wound a tor
tuods course through the desert. A
narrow trail with short, sharp angles
zigzagged down a steep gully to the
bottom. The mules carefully picked
their way down among the loose
stones, hating inq%uiringly at times to
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
Ghost of John Gear

AS he heard the words Of praise:
And he thought of the wreck and the
wrong he had lone
Through, the stretch Of the long-gone
days;
And a woman's face that was blanched
with tears
Loomed up from the vast Of the clamor-
ing years.;
But the ghost, while he heard all the
praise Of the priest,
Felt burn on his forehead the mark Of
the beast
The mark Of the beast.
And h priest preached on. but the ghost
OF John
Heard naught but the woman's tears:
For the silent tears of her silent life
Were thunder in his ears.
And the priest still preached with his
And the face doomed up from the long
one days;
The priest still praised and the people
And the ghost passed on and the deaA
man slept
The dead man slept.
Sam walter Fen
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03

In his coffin bed John Gear lay dead.
But John Gears ghost stood near:
And the clergyman talked at the funeral
And the ghost bent low to hear;
The waiting ghost Of the man who was
dead,
He fingered to hear what the clergyman
said;
SO the clergyman spake and the people
wept,
And the ghost looked on the dead
man slept
M the lead man slept.
''The man who is dead" the clergyman
said.
.was the true. true salt of the earth:
Who shall gauge the good Of his well
spent life
And the measure OF his WORTH
For he was q man Of the olden type,
OF the honest. noble, sterling stripe"
Shame fell on the ghost as he stood nigh.
For he alone knew these words were q
lie
These words were q lie.
Anl the ghost vas afraid ana was sore
GeomAye6
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
Substantial Agreement.

Archie was not sure her opinion
would coincide with his, and he pro.
ceeded to feel his way with caution.
Does it not seem to YOU" he said.
that this production has been hastily
staged, and that the actors appear to
be deficient in INSTRUMENTATION
and self-abandonment that enables one
to lose ones self in the illusion of the
play?"
"Oh, yes" YEARLY answered Miss
Quickstep. TITS punk."-Chicago
Tribune.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03

Names from South Africa Are Given ia
Unfortunate Youngsters.

Unfortunate Youngsters.
One of the results of the wal in South
Africa is an outbreak Of curious
names. Luckless infants born at or
about the time of great events are be-
ing christened after the events them
selves, as we'll as after the more promi-
nent individuals concerned. Redvers
Butler Thompson was used a few days
ago, and Dundee, Glencoe and Glands
laagte have all been given. At the
Cape, among the many curiosities are
Talana Elanda Smith, Belmontina
Grasspana MOdderivvo Brown and
Penn Symons White Robinson. A
BOer named Troskie, residing in the
Craddock district in Cape Colony, had
his son baptized Emmanuel Kruger
Steyn Triomphus. The mania appears
to have taken South Wales in a very
acute form. A few days ago Modder
River Jones, John Redvers Butler
Thomas, Harry White Redvers Joseph.
Harold Baden Mafeking Powell, and
Ezekiel Methuen Macdonald Baden
Powell Williams were the names given
to helpless infants by patriotic parents
in Meath. At Pontypridd there are
poor babes called Richard Colenso
Scott, oliver Colenso Williams, KIM
berley Clifford, Charles Redvers
James, anS. Baden-Powell Williams;
and at Mountain Ash, Victor Colenso
Warren. Warren Sanford, Macdonald
Claremont, Methuen Phillips, John
Stanley Methuen Williams, and Baden
Powell Price. Mr.. Shandy. father OF
the famous Tristram, 1t will be remem-
bered, believed there was something
fateful in q name. The world seems
to have been blessed with a sufficient
number of individuals of opinions
similar to this, else how can n ac-
count for such names as Peter the
Great Wright and William the Con-
queror Wright Twins, King David
Hayden, John Bunyan Parsonage.
King George Westgate, Martin Luther
Upright, General George Washington
Jones, Lord Nelson Putnam, Empress
Eugene Aldridge, and John Robinson
Crusoe Heaton? The parents, no
doubt. had a pious hope that the child
rem so named would grow to be worthy
Of the great persons whose names
had been appropriated. The hope has
not been realized, for none Of these in
dividuals seem ever to have set the
Thames on fire. And perhaps 1t Is
well for humanity that there
a ~ M coonnI oIitiNnc - thnco SS1rio~C
Of men," But even quiet times have
their remarkable names, Lyulph
Ydwallo Odin Nestor Egbert Lyonel
Toedmag Hug Erchenwys Saxon Esa
Cromwell Orem Nevill Dysart Plan
is still living in Wales-per-
haps because he attempts to use
All his own name.-London Leader.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
Unusual Emphasis Necessary.

Unusual EmphasIs Necessary.
willie, DEAR" his mother said. Il
wish you would go out and see what
all that racket in the next block is
about"
Willie went away and returned half
an hour later with the desired informa-
ton.
There was q deaf and dumb couple
married down there this evening"" he
said. an the boys Is trying to charivari
'em accordin'."-Chicago Tribune.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
PLEASE TELL YOUR READERS
ous clio 60-Cent Catalogue 10 Now
Free.

Free.
For years the price Of our big Gen.
eral Merchandise Catalogue has been
so cents, but we have reduced our
selling prices on all kinds OF goods SO
far below all other houses as to in
sure almost every catalogue bringing
orders and making new customers.
and by the introduction OF new paper.
| making machinery, new automatic
rotary printing, folding. binding and
covering machinery we have SO re-
duced the cost of making this big
book that we will now send it by mail.
post paid, free to any address on ap-
plication.
The big book, which heretofore was
| sold at so cents each, and which Is
now free for the asking. is Skx11h
inches in size, contains thousands OF
illustrations. descriptions and prices,
is thoroughly complete in nearly every
| kind of merchandise, including dry
| goods, clothing, boots and shoes, fur
nishing goods, notions, millinery, car.
pets, upholstering, hardware, tools.
electrical goods, guns, sporting goods.
sewing machines, musical instru-
ments, organs, pianos, furniture, baby
Vail loSCS, SAOChSIy CutlCly, wv
drugs, Photographic goods, optical
goods, talking machines, moving pic
ture apparatus, buggies, harness, sad
dies, saddlery. watches, jewelry, sill
verware, clocks, safes, refrigerators,
tinware, everything used in the home,
in the shop, in the factory and on the
farm. and all priced at prices much
lower han were ever offered by any
| other house.
If you have n Of our big cata-
logues or have yer seen one you
know what it is, the most complete.
most up to date and lowest-priced cat.
alogue ever published. If you haven't
our big catalogue don't fail to send
for one at once. If you have the big
book please tell your friends and
neighbors that the book is now free
! and they can get one for the asking.
| Simply on a postal card or in a letter
say, Send me your Big Catalogue"
| and the big new book, our regular SO.
cent catalogue, will go to you by re.
turn mail, postpaid, free with our com.
pliments. Please don't forget to tell
your neighbor who hasn't the big book
that the big 50-cent book is now free
to anyone for the asking. Address
SEARS, ROEBUCK & CO., Chicago.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
The Cheerful Idiots Conundrum.

The Cheerful IDIOTS Conundrum.
What is the difference" began the
Cheerful Idiot.
"Oh, it don't make any difference"
moaned the Tired Citizen.
What's the difference" repeated
the Cheerful Idiot, ~serenely, between
an athlete and an invalid?"
why" responded the Tired Citizen
Il ~ think there would be enough
difference between those two to make
1t unnecessary even for you to ask
about It,"
WELL" said the Cheerful Idiot, with.
out turning a hair, lone is well-knit
and the other Is well-nit. Ha, hal
Baltimore American.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
Eve Was the First Summer Girl.

Can o tell me-" said Eve, why l
am a summer gir1?"
Little Eva" said Adam, who was
in~terlocutor, and, it may be added, the
whole show, you ask me why you are
a summer girl. l do not know why
you are a summer girl. Why are you q
summer girl?"
Il am a summer girl" said the orig.
inal sinner, because l am just before
the fall" Saying which she prepared
to FIX apple for supper.-Chicago
Journal.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03
Philadelphia Life Not Strenuous.

P~hl1adeIphia Lite Not Strenuous.
Figures show that Philadelphia
teachers do not receive as much pay
as the teachers in New York and Chi
cago.
That's all right; they don't earn as
much"
why not?"
"They don't have to do as much
work"
why not?"
There are SO many things that Phil.
adelphia children don't have to know"
Brooklyn Life.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1904-06-03

Barton county IL one OF the principal
wheat growing sections In Kansas. III
crop will probably reach k.oeoyooo
bushels. and Il has . population g ealy
5000. !.
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1904-07-15
Jet Hack Roses.

The Noyosti. Of ST. Petersburg. gives
a description Of roses that are Jet black
In color. and which are the result Of
ten years toll and though, by a florist
named Fctlsoff, In Wordnesch, Russia.
This man has produced some remark.
able effects in the garden world.
His latest success with the black
roses has stirred up quite a sensation
among the lovers OF flowers In Russia.
Some specimens were sent TO the ear
b. FciisoG. and a beautiful collection Of
them has been sent 10 London 10 be .X-
hibitcd AZ the coming flowcr show
y. Y. ncrali.