The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-06-12
WHY MARRIAGE is A FAILURE.

to obtain a marriage incense. by ms
take he stumbled into a room in which
a divorce case was being tried. and
after listening to the sordid story OF
married life it unfolded-a tale Of bick-
ering. and Quarrels, and charges. and
countercharges Of cruelty and neglect
he decided that he was not fo0lherdy
enough TO tackle such a dangerous
proposition as matrimOny, and fed in
terror from the scene.
The incident is remarkable IN that it
is an authentic account 81 q man being
warned by another persons fste. but
the wonderful Thing IS nog that one
youth was scared on from marriage.
but that any OF US with che awfGl sX-
amples of matrimonial trrsltci-y we
have all about US. should ever b. VIII
ing to take the risk OF making the t&g4l
journey to the altar. That soe we'd
ding bells continue 10 ring = -as u03l
triumph OF hope over other people ; cx-
perience. Other couples may have
found marriage a failure. bat every
youth and maiden believe that they
have found the way back 20 Eden. and
that the marriage ring is going 10 be
the magic taiSuan that Will open the
gates OF the lost Paradise 70 them.
This seldom happens, and one OF the
most pathetic things in the world is
Z
brings TO the ma j0rtty OF people. This
is leaving out of account the cases
where some great wrong on either side
breaks hearts, and wrecks lives, and
drags couples into the divorce court.
1t merely refers to the common tragedy
of daily life, where a man and a wom-
an let the marriage tie that starts out
like a silken bond between them be-
come ball and chain that letters
them together like prisoners, and that
you can hear clank every time you
come into their presence. Yet these
people married for love, and the ques-
ton is how, when they started out
with such a wealth of affection, did
they so soon become bankrupt?
The majority OF marriages are rank
failures so far as bringing any real
happiness to either party is concerned.
This is a sweeping statement, but l
challenge you to deny it's truth. How
many husbands and wives do you
know who find their chief pleasure in
each others society? How many
couples can you find between whom
there is any genuine comradeship? Is
not the average mans real estimate of
the enjoyment Of having his wife along
expressed in the old minstrel joke
about the man, who, when asked if he
took his wife with him when he went
on journey, replied mo, went on
pleasure trip
Does not the conversation of most
married couples, even in public, consist
of little jabs at each other which pi-
quantity suggest the amount of ginger
they throw into a heart to-heart talk
in the privacy of home? Can you not
pick out any husband and wife at the
theater by the listless and bored way
in which they yawn in each others
faces, or spot them anywhere by their
Jl11lfaIal ityaiv ,qF TONS NH ra
train is late, or the cooking bad at
a restaurant, or anything goes wrong?
Would not a composite photograph Of
all the Darbys and Joans you know
show a I-wonder- what ma de-meidiot-
enough-to-marry-y expression?
Yet these people were once In love-
they married in order that they might
spend their lives together. They are
faithful and loyal to each other. They
wear themselves out working and plan
ming 10 make each other physically
comfortable, but somehow between
them they have slain the joy, and
glory. and romance of life, and the
greatest problem of civilization is to
find out how this was done, and how
two people who meant to make each
other happy, make each other miser-
able.
Probably women are more to blame
for this state of affairs than men. In
this country, at least, it is woman who
strikes the Keynote of family life. and
il is up to her to decide whether 1t
shall be madrigals sung under her win
dow, or cat fight on the kitchen
roof OF course, the long years of
matrimony are full enough, at best, OF
trials and tribulations, of sickness and
anxiety, and struggle, and strain. but
there is no woman who cannot keep
up some of the glamor and illusions
of life is she viii. 1t is her hand gem
orally that strips the veil, of romance
from matrimony, and shows it to the
man as a hard, sordid reality of bills
and bad cooks, and slouchy wrappers,
and a wire-edged temper
Men are far more sentimental than
women at heart, and when the average
man marries he is about three times
as much in love with the woman as
she is with him. He has picked her
out of all the world as the one woman
he prefers, that he admires most, and
find most congenial. She is probably
merely marrying him because he is the
best chance that offers. She may even
be marrying for a home, or TO keep
from being an old maid, or because
she desnt know what else TO do with
herself but when a man deliberately
undertakes to support a woman for
life he is giving a practical guarantee
of his affections that is strong enough
TO draw money on at the bank
This being the case it is a shame and
disgrace to woman to lose her hus-
bands love because it is almost inva-
riably her own fault. Unfortunately,
however. it is the custom of the fair
sex as soon as they have captured o.
husband to throw away the weapons
with which they brought him down,
and after marriage many a man is
never again privileged TO enjoy the
amiability, the nimble wit, the charm,
and the delightful tact that ensnared
his fancy. Were this habit reversed
did women take as much trouble to be
agreeable after marriage as before; did
they always present to their lords and
masters as attractive an appearance:
were they as willing to fall in with
every whim, they would keep their
husbands lovers to the end. for man is.
in the main, a domestic animal amen
able to the hand that feeds ii well, and
strokes the fur the right way.
Three other reasons there are why
women fail as wives. The first of these
is because the average girl knows
nothing about housekeeping. and by
the time a tired, nerve exhausted, dis