Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1904-07-21
ST. PETER AND THE GATE.

When up to the top of the golden stair
man and woman ascending there,
Applied for admission. They came and
stood
Before st. Peter, so great and good,
In hope the City of Peace to win,
And asked st. Peter to let them in.
The woman was tall and lank and thin,
With scraggy bearlet upon her chin.
The man was short and thick and stout,
His stomach was built so il rounded out,
His face was pleasant, and all the while
He wore a kindly and genial smile,
The choirs in the distance the echoes
woke,
And the man kept still while the wo-
man spoke.
"Oh, thou who guardest the gate" said
she,
1--WE two come hither, beseeching thee
To let us enter the heavenly land,
And play our harps with the Angel
band,
Of me, St. Peter, there is no doubt
There's nothing from heaven to bar
me out.
I've been tomeeting three times week,
And almost always I'd rise and speak.
1--WE told the sinners about the day
When they'd repent of their evil way,
I've told my neighbors--Fyeto told em all
Bout Adam and Eve, and the Primal
Fall.
I've shown them what they'd have todo
If they'd pass in the chosen few.
I've marked their path of duty clear
Laid out the plan for their whole career,
I've talked and talked to 'em loud and
long,
For my lungs are good and my voice is
strong,
So, good St Peter, you'll clearly see
The gate of heaven is open for me,
But my old man, | regret to say,
Hasn't walked in exactly the narrow
way.
He smokes and he swears, and grave
faults he's got
And | don't know whether he'll pass
or not.
He never would pray with earnest vim
Or go to revival, or join in hymn,
So have to leave him in sorrow there
While |, with the chosen united in
prayer,
He ate what the pantry chanced to
afford,
While |, in my purity sang to the Lord.
And if cucumbers were all he got
It's chance if he merited them or not
But oh! st. Peter, love him SO,
To the pleasure of Heaven please let
him go.
I've done enough-a saint I've been.
Won't that atone? Can't you let him in?
D.. u;
That the unrepentant must fry below,
But isn't there some way you can see
That he may enter who's dear to me?
It's narrow gospel which | pray,
But the chosen expect to find some way
OF coaxing or fooling or bribing you,
So that their relations can amble
through.
And, say, st. Peter, it seems to me
That gate isn't kept as it ought to be;
You ought to stand right by the open
ing there
And never sit down In that easy chair,
And say, ST. Peter, my sight is dimmed
But | don't like the way your whiskers
are trimmed,
They're cut toowide, and outward toss;
They'd look better narrow, cut straight
across.
Well, we must be going our crowns to
win.
SO open, St Peter and well pass in"
ST Peter sat quiet and stroked his staff,
But, spite of his office, he had to laugh,
Then said, with fiery CLEAN in his
eye:
"Who's tending this gate, you or II"
And then he arose in his stature tall,
And pressed a button upon the wall
And said to the imp who answered the
bell:
escort this female around to hell"
The man stood still as piece of
stone
Stood sadly, gloomy there alone,
A lifelong, settled idea he had
That his wife was good and he was
bad.
he thought that if the woman went
down below
That he would certainly have to go
That If she went to the region dim
There wasn't the ghost of show for
him.
Slowly he turned, by habit bent,
To follow wherever the woman went,
ST. Peter standing on duty there,
Observed that the top of his head was
bare.
He called the gentleman back and said.
Friend how long have you been wed?"
Thirty years" with a weary sigh)-
And then he thoughtfully added,
why"
St Peter was silent, with head bent
down
He raised his hat and scratched his
crown,
Then, seeming a different thought to
take,
Slowly, half to himself he spake:
Thirty years with that woman there?
No wonder the man hasn't got any
hair!
Swearing is wicked. Smoking's no good
He smoked and swore-I should think
he would!
Thirtyyears with that tongue so sharp!