The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-08-14

"CSb 10 81 CAlCGllAl Go " NC eAlIllOSL III
credible or quite So But Election day
comes at last. TIL people iv this great
country gather at tn VARIOUS temples
iv liberty in barber shops an livery
stables an indicate their choice iv
evils. A gr-reat hush falls on tn
land as tn public pours out iv tn side
dures iv tn saloons an reverently
gathers at tn newspaper offices to
await with baited breath tn thrillin'
news firm tn first precinct iv tn
Foorth Ward iv Sheboygan, Wis. An
thin again we hear tn old but niver
tiresome story: Texas give a Dimmy-
crat majority iv five hundherd thou
SAN, but will reopen tn polls if more
is necessity; tn Dimmycrats hope iv
tn prisint ratio is maintained TIL Ray
publican victhry in Pennsylvania will
not be unanimous. An wan candydate
rayceives six millyon votes an is over
Whelmingly defeated an tn other
rayceives five millyon nine hundhed
thousan' an is triumphantly ilicited.
An there We ARE.
"Why, Hinnissy wanst whin I was
in pollytics, me an Willum O'Brien
put up a German be tn name iv
Smeerkase or some such name FIR
alderman FIR tn fun iv tn thing. 1t
was a great joke an aven tn Dutch
man knew it. But befure he'd been
nommynated two weeks. he begun to
take it seeryous. "Fhey'se a good
dale iv dissatisfaction in tn ward with
tn prisint alderman says he, AN
We know I've lived here long time
an I'm popular with tn boys.
Stranger things have happened thin
iv this joke was to turn out thrue
Well say I, if yere ilicted I want
we to make me Uncle Mike Chief iv
Polls. He's licked thin all an he
raaly holds tn job eX-propria vigore,
as tn Supreme CoOrt wud say says l,
Sure 1 WILL says Smeerkase. Well,
he come into me place fvry day to
tell me how his campaign was get
tin on. He had assurances firm more
people thin there were in TIL ward
that they'd vote FIR him. He had
his pitcher took an hung on tn TIL
lygrafy poles. He hired a man to
write his obichury firm tn time he
took his first glass iv beer as a baby
to TIL moment when tn indignant cit
liens fv tn Sixth ward arose an de-
nlanded that they shud crowd their
suffrage on him. That meant me an
O'Brien, dye mind? He got up a
mass meeting with bands an calceem
lights an tn hall was crowded while
he talked not on'y broken, but be hi
wins, poolverized English on tn is
sues iv tn day. Well, Hinnissy, we
know tits not on'y tn candydate him
silf that's confident, it's ivrybody
around him. An befure tn Fiction
come, begun to think that maybe
me frind did have a chance, so I wint
around to see him. He was disthrib-
utin' tn spendin' money FIR tn polls
an had to fight me way in. Glad
to see we, Misther Dooley,' says he.
I wanted to tell we that I'm sorry l
can't appint yeer Uncle Chief iv Polls.
I've inquired into his charackter,' says
he, an it's not up to tn standard.
Besides he says, I've promised tn
job to tn Amalgamated Union iv Can
Openers, who ARE with me to a man.
'Ar're ye that sure ye're goin' to be
ilicted that we've already broken ye'er
ante-iliction promises" says I. My,
but it's you that ARE tn hurried
stateman. It's all over says he.
I've ordered tn flowers FIR me disk
in tn council Make mine a gates
ajar,' says 1 an wint me way. How
NANNY votes did he get? Eight.
That was TIL amount. Where did
he get thin? says to O'Brien. They
were some we cudden't use,' says he.
They belonged to a Bohaymian in tn
foorth precint, but I give them to
Smeerkase.' He's a good fellow, says
he.
Whats me opinyon iv tn campaign?
Sure, what's tn use iv breakin' up
amy mans happy dhream be tellin'
him tn thruth? If amy fellow citizen
iv mine can get four months complete
injymint out iv life with nary a care
or worry but ivry day tn glad hand
an tn rainbow iv hope in tn sky, it's
not me will Spite his game. An it
wudden't do amy good anyhow Sup
posin' Thaydoor Rosenfelt was to
dhrop in here an ask me opinyion iv
tn campaign up to date, might say:
'Thaydoro, me buck, at this minyit l
can't offer we much consolation. Ye
won't get amy votes in tn south that
will do We amy good. If We thry to
get amy, tn colored line will be
dhrawn more closely an on higher
threes an nanny a smiling face Will
be absent firm ye'er festive board.
we've JUS managed to hurt tn thrusts
enough to make thin mad an they're
afther we. Nanny people is scared TO
death that if we get in again yen
buckle on yer soord an declare war
again TIL homes iv their birth where
they skipped firm. They'se a lot iv
Germans in Wisconsin an Illinye that
don't like foreign policy mannyfac-
thered to ordher in England an who
wud not care to lay down tn bung-
starter an the sausage grinder to
take up tn soord an make war on thir
lieber Vaterland in ordher to advance
speech iv Shapeskeare an, Joe Cham
berlain. Ye ar-re well liked be some
an we'll disliked be others. TIL beau
tiful bust Nv we that Jacob Ris nodded
in butther is meltin' in tn harsh glare
iv tn secret meetin's at tn White
House Ye won't be ilicited be ye'er
frinds or defeated be ye'er minis. 1t
is to tn indpindant suffrages iv tn
freemen who ar-re Indifferent to we
that We must appeal If they ARE
moro Indifferent to tn Sage Nv Esop-
us, you have a chanst. But ye'er
gr-reat hope iv victhry is nawthin'
we've done or nawthin' We havn't done,
but this: That no matther how nanny
votes tn Dimmycrats have befure tn
polls open, tn Republicans usually
have more whin tn polls close an they
don't care how late they set up
What wud he say? He'd sind FIR
Jacob Riis.
IF / whit to Esoopus an found tn
Sage maxim hay with Willum Rocky
fellar an Augy Belmont, I might say
Sage, don't We put too much thrust
in thrusts. A thrust may show
momentary fondness f'r a Dlmmycrat
but raymimber a thrust is a Republic
can at heart. lie was brought up on
IT, It's a good 70 have Willum Rocky
fellar with ye f'r Prisidint Nv tn Unit
ed states. but I'd rather have IN
cd ~ Il