The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1904-04-06
POWER OF CIRCUMSTANCE

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There is nothing in the conduct of life
TO which the trite old saying that cir
cumstances alter cases applies more
forcibly than TO love affairs. No one is
= aitogefher sure of ones self, still less of
AptnT, and none can gauge correctly
tns depths of another's heart. They who
ask, much more they who give, advice
concerning the course to be pursued in
the dilemmas of love are usually i'll
advised Such problems are of those with
which no stranger should inter-meddle.
and where the wounds of a friend. how
ever faithful never fail to rankIe and
are rarely forgiven. Unless heart leaps
to heart, irresistible and certain, one must
work out ones own salvation with. fear
and trembling
Therefore, the man who wishes to be
told whether he will be safe in marrying
woman who he is reasonably sure loves
him, but with whom he Is not in love; a
woman whom he likes thoroughly and of
whom he cordially approves must in all
kindness and justice to himself and TO
her decide the question for them both.
he, and he only, can judge whether his
temperament IS such that cordial liking
for, and firm faith in, his wife, can fill
the place of genuine, permanent love, in
case love declines TO follow in their wake
He also must determine whether the calm
affection which, according to his own
showing is all he has to offer in ex-
change for a woman's whole heart. will
suffice TO satisfy her soul. He must take
Int cid hot {;
ing when not desired. and question him
self closely as to whether the demonstra-
tons of a love which he does not share
may not prove wearisome beyond his pow
ar to conceal that WEAKNESS.
Lives there within the nature hid
The demon spirit change.
Shedding a passing glory still
On all things new and stranger
II may not be thy fault alene,
But shield her heart against thine own"
Marriages of convenience are as rule.
most satisfactory when the calm esteem
and unimpassioned liking are mutual.
and so the balance swings true. Storms
are well-nigh impossible with an even
temperature in all directions; serene and
Eood-humored Indifference is armer- proof
against the darts of jealousy and the
sting Of neglect
On the contrary. real true love is as
sensitive as n neither thermometer, and
rises and falls with each llghtest varia-
ton of warmth or chill. 1t registers ev-
cry mood on the part Of the beloved, and
requires a delicate treatment. There are
few people and of these few not many
are men, who can successfully make
believe naturally, consistently and con-
tinaully: who never relapse into their
normal state Of feeling. nor are surprised
off guard and taken unawares. And X
doubt is torture to a man in love, to a
woman It is worse than hell. 1t Is n
cruel disappointment when loving heart
expecting to be nourished with the bread
of life. finds itself put off with Diet of
husks: neither is the eau sucree Of mere
liking sufficient substitute for the slim
ulating. vivfying wine of love, when one
has once tasted OF the latter.
Sad it may be to be longing. with a pa
thence faint and weary.
For a hope deferred. and sadder still
TO see 1t fade and fall;
Yet to grasp the thing we long for, and
with sorrow sick and dreary
The nto find how 1t can fail us. Is the
saddest pain OF all
At times swift slaughter is to be in
fnitely preferred to slow death.
Still, when d man begins to wonder
whether Il will be well for him to take
a woman to wife. there is usually good
ground for concluding that he is interest
ed IN, If not in love with. her. All rules
have exceptions, and to this there are the
cases where the man looks upon marriage
purely as a matter of business, and con-
templates it solely for the advantages
which will acrue to him, from the con-
tract. In which cases heaven help the
roman, unless, as in some cases, she is
aple to help herself.
Humanity has not yet attained othe
state of advancement. motal menral. or
spiritual. in which one can be sure Of
ones self or trust infallibly to the cor
rectness of ones judgment and ones
reason. one may even be mistaken as
to the state of ones affectionsi That
which is lovely and beloved today may
be repugnant tomorrow, and pleasant
again the day after. So usual is this
phase Of character that psychologists ac-
count for it by the dual nature which they
ascribe to all and each of us. Man is in
bondage not only to the perversities of
the present, but to past generations.
I'VE does the things we has TO. eff ives
bad we amt TO blame Some one has
wittily said that the stomach is often ac-
countabla for the freaks of the heart, and
that the pangs of dyspepsia are frequent
" mistaken for those of love, while head
aches and heartaches are twin sisters.
Love in its infancy is not to be depended
upon for keeps" and, novelists and poets
to the contrary Notwithstanding, it does
not often spring forth full-grown as
though by epchantment. 1t cometh up
as a flower and perishes as quickly at
the first frost. Cultivation and opportuni-
ty may make it sturdy, healthy plant,
but it needs 20 be fostered and cherished.
Love, as portrayed in romance. born in
q moment. to live forever under what
ever adverse circumstances; unimpaired
and unchanged by time, by absence or by
GOODNESS upon the part of the beloved.
is far more of fairy tale than a fact,
and has few. if any. counterparts in the
actual experience of life.
THE history of love" says Nodier
would be the history of mankind" But
love, air plant though it be thrives best
under favorable conditions; even an air
plant needs sunshine. air and dew. Like
all other good things in the world, il Is
perfected and strengthened by care ana
culture. 1t may often be born Of pas
srson or fancy. but it is also often the
offspring of admiration of character and
sincere esteem. II may be slow 10 show