West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-04-21

pitcher MAJ Flynn claims 20 have Knocked
out Of the box on saturday..April and e
Col. Montgomery IS prime, favoritc ia
the River Cit, aud when he came forward
he was given q great ovation.
My fellow citizen o. ihc bottom OF old
Reno
We have come down from the mountains
to the valley below 20 meet and greet YOU
| Your honored chairman who has been
footing the whistle for 10 these many
years. must. from force OF habit toot IA
today. tLaughtcr) AS bsseballist he had
Few equals and no superior IN Preston
county. Today in his dotage. lac is labor
ing under the hallucination that be Is still
basebalis, and can line her out for a
home run. G-aughtcr.) But we are engaged
In another game today The game Is not
half played and we cannot foretell the
score. Maj. FLYNN and myself are oratori-
cal pitchers which your chairman 50 hum.
orously told you. and we are pitching the
game Of our lie. Great Iaughter) n we
do not contract the glass arm or the Char.
ley horse we may finish the game Laugh
teri IL Is true that Mai Flynn claimed
that his men Knocked me out Of the box on
Saturday. Apsil 2 but on that date was
suffering from a rheumatic arm and my men
did not give the proper support Since
, then have had my arm treated by the no
ted specialist DR.. Benjamin Franklin
Bone. Who assures me from this time hence
forth | will have no difficulty in putting
them over the plate and make Mai Flynn
do few stunts which will surprise his
men. (applause.l have new inshoot
which am holding in reserve for the Ma
jor which will loosen his diaphragm when
II comes in contact with the abdomen CAP.
plause.) Col. Hollis. who is an authority
on the subject, says II ! disjoint the dia-
| phragm in the Majors exhaust that he viii
fail TO steam aud that ! should beat him
without losing tail feather Great ap.
plause) My pl0mage is the admiration OF
all and ! cannot afford to be plucked of
one. In the series of games which we arc
playing on the Preston soil for the edihca.
ton of the public IS one which has attract.
| ed the attention oi the world and caused
| Port Arthur TO succumb TO our lombard
ment wild cheering) In the few re.
naming games which We are 20 play I
beseech you to get in the harness and burst
the hamestring II necessary to win the game
for me- wild cheering and several voices
Well do il. never fear. -
The enthusiasm which Col. Montgomery
aroused with his unique speech was some
thing wonderful. The River City has al
ways been noted as the greatest base ball
town in our county, and the mere mention
of base ball is enough to start a revolution
among the people. No one knew this bet
ter than Col. Montgomery. and with a
dexterlly and eloquence seldom equaled
he started the goatery (Col lin Stone.
braker says this is the proper word to use
on such occasions but cannot find il in
the dictionary to butting in so rapidly
that Mai Flynn would need the breast
| protector on the rear end in this game
| None was more pleased than Chairman
| Hollis, and as Col Montgomery retired 10
the water plug, Chairman Hollis arose and
said
me Buckles
This reminds "a OF the good old Delta
days when we walloped everything that
walked on two legs and crawled on fonrl
| This caused the widest excitement which
lasted for several minutes) The oratori-
cal twirler must be cautious lest they stir
us TO deeds OF violence TO Valley district
which caused me 10 lose the sherGalty
alter we had licked their Igorrote base
bail team wild hurrahing) But time is
flying and must present to you the pitcher
who claims 10 be the modern Adonis OF
the diamond A"
This was happy hit, and as Mai. Flynn
came forward he shot EN- over the plate IN
this fashion:
My beloved Followers and Discip es
from Rowlesburg to Beaver Hole;-
Your devotion to Elijah the Third fills
my already swelling bosom to the dropsical
| point. where my own specialist. DR. sam
uel Austen Prau, advises II the swelling
continues there will be no Joy In Piedom
for I will bust Sensation and advice /:
Let her bustr9 Therefore would eau
ton you today, My disciples to DC moder.
ate in your expression of exultation. for
Elijah the Third has a vivid recollection
what the Pullman Palace cars done for
! Elijah the Second when they landed him in
Madison Square Garden. can say with.
out fear Of rupturing my conscience or en-.
largiug my gall that have been religlously
avoiding all railroad cars from the stock
| car TO the palace car Before I become
the Elijah Of politics l used to utilize a
stock car when on my annual vacation
| providing the irainmen did not discover me
aud kindly ask me to vacate Applause }
Before reached your town was on the
run for Senatorial pie which was several
miles ahead and using every effort TO avoid
my lasso While troddng the County
roads had some hopes OF catching IL. but
when 10 took passage on the railroads be.
gan to despair. for ! am one Of the unfort.
unates who has TO sit on the fence while
the train glides by. G.aughter) But your
honored chairman tells me am an orator..
cal twirler aud the people who pay their
money expect me to face the MONTGOMERY
team and fan EN- out Col Hollis Sound
me laddie, III marry your aunt , Thank
you 10 few of the ladies' will marry my
uncles / shall expect good support from
this town (Applaose As the hour Is
growing late aud have lost my typewriter
speech am compelled to close the elabor.
ate speech which Intended TO deliver on
the banks Of Cheat river shall visit you
and move before the Campaign closes and
deliver an Grafton which was handed down
to me by the ancle ut orators who delivered
10 before pie hunting was To- vogue Great
applause J"
There seems TO bc no abatement iu the
interest which fho people on taking in this
joint debate and my position as war cor.
respondent seems assured
TnE RAunLER
=-ea-=-aza----.--s.-
tatarrh caunot De cured
with LOCAL APPLICATIONS. IS they can
H.H.H g. fH.