New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-04-05
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

TIE TALK OF THE DAY.
Among his foreign honors. Kaiser Wilhelm is
admiral in the British Navy. y story OF his last
visit a British ship shows that he has the gift
OF making himself popular. Followed By long
train OF officers in due order Of seniority. from
the admiral down 10 the Junior officer on duty, he
made a thorough tour OF the ship. coming at last
to the sick quarters. In OF the sick bays
stood a werd-looking plant, consisting Of long.
attenuated stalk. with couple OF melancholy look
ing leaves Coming to a dead stop before this
mysterious effort OF nature. the Kaiser pointed at
II In silence. Admiral" he asked at last, with
an appearance OF tho deepest interest. what is
that?' The admiraTs botanical education did not
run 10 a solution OF the problem, so he turned Tor
aid 20 his immediate successor. who. similarly en-
barrassed passed the query further back. until 1t
reached the junior at the end OF the line and was
still unanswered
All the time Kaiser Wilhelm stood waiting for in
formation with look OF exaggerated anxiety upon
his face At last. when informed that absolutely
no explanation OF the phenomenon was forthcom-
ing he burst out laughing and exclaimed. "liur-
rahl AT last I've found something that the British
Navy doesn't knowl"
Miss Oldgirl-wm marry the man OF my choice7
Fortune Teller-Yes. but make no mislakei the
cards say you viii have but one choice.-QucN
what =, said TO be tho greatest oil field in the
world has been discovered in Mexico. The quality
of the oil Is not stated. but IL will probably soon be
Standard.
BALLAD OF THE BOTTLED FLEET
The Retvizan ashore they ran
To save her hull for II was full
or bullet holes and scratches
In vain they tried the holes to hide.
Were told, with divers patches.
Bold Makaron said: Back her on
The rocks and close the matches,
The harbor mouth. east north and south
DER which viii climb my ships each tims
My gallant squadron charges.
The wrecks that lie before my eye
Make my bold blood TO curdle
For as may go out to-day
Each hulk III have to hurdle-
In horrd glee they rushed to sea
It's heavy work, so none may sEirk
When warships go to Jumping
There I'm tho van the Retvizan
Was though she had no bottom.
(You want the facts-you've got en-
So. full Of tight they cruise all night.
The ships now fast. now slow go
To show them where is Togo.
Then back they went, but I'll content,
what wonder Togo ands 1t hard
This lively fleet 10 seal up? -(Chicago News
verdict for $4,000 damages has been procured
Media. Penn. IN peculiar suit against q tele-
phone company. The children OF Thomas F. Della
hunt sued for that sum because OF the death OF
their father from a shock received the tele-
phone. heavily charged electric light wire which
had fallen the telephons circuit caused tho
fatal shock.
-Charlie-Papa. the whites have a new
Papa-what Is She son-French or German7
i don't know. papa. think she's broken Eng
ush."-(Lfe.
The clipper old lady celebrated in equally old
versice.
She lived TO the Of a hundred and
And died Of a fall q cherry tree. then,
has almost a parallel in the Leominster Mass.
ko. g,-t 9Eago vF, oh nina
two.
having Included him among his preferred creditors
But makes you a speshul creddor.' was the
speshal credid9r mine friend. knows now that he
for three years Time list money-an't it?'-(Every-
bodys Magazine.
THE Hong Kong Daily Press the Eu-
ropean seeker after curios OF the INSCRIPTIONS
native vender. A method whereby the appearance
OF century-od china is simulated is to kill a dog
and place the new. comparatively valueless por
ceIain in its inside afterward burying it in the
earth At the end OF year the is trans
formed into a choice specimen of veritable
antique"
GENTLE SPRING IN TOWN
Sweet spT ore t has aSge9 Of the bdn ro a
The calendar says april In the shops
Are now displayed lace hats and drop stitch hose
The woods are green again-or so we read:
BY clearly housewife. and some hapess
Reaches the lower landing via air.
The birds singng-by the Poets page.
Are due the robin and the orioe.
BY this thermometer it's thirty-nne-
Ring for the janitor to bring some coall
The street piano starts the echoes Wild,
with Good Old Summertime and
The maiden fair comes forth to hirt with Death
In waist Of peek-a-boo variety.
Sweet Spring has come! Below there comes a yeI |
Fresh feesh, peanutta, strawberry. banan!"
New bric-A- brac adorns the mantel shelf
For Heavens sake. stop that grinnng ole clo'es'
man!
Flown Topics.
The largest cantaloupe patch" in the world will |
be that which is 10 be planted near Greeley, COL
the present spring. 1t Will embrace two thousand |
acres. Hitherto cantaoupe raising in Colorado has
been mostly confined to the famous Rockyford dis |
trict in the Arkansas Valley, but the farmers OF |
Northern Colorado have determined to enter |
that very profitable field OF horticulture.
Mrs Muggins-I don't like the expression of her
mouth.
Mrs Buggfns-And don't like the expressions of
her tongue,-(P Philadelphia Record \