The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-01-31

Good old katzenjammerbrau from burly Berlin, creme de paresis from putrid Paris, stout old battle murder and sudden death from lazy London, vino de st' Vitus from mouldering Madrid and good sprinkling of plain American bust head"; these and many more helped the doctor along, and, by the time the wee small hours began to own the dial ne couldn't have told the answer to twice two without a slate and a Turkish bath. When he got out doors he owned both sides of the street and walked in the mid dle to show impartiality He sang, too, cheerful little light hearted lays that made a policeman come out and rescue him and drag him over to the sidewalk The doctor looked like man that hat money so the policeman was gentle with him.
 Whats yer name?" asked the officer carefully holding him up and leaning him against a mail box.
 Si'verfzzferminer' heavily breathed the doctor
 The officer shook him little.
 Wake up here. Where do ye live?
 ''FiIl' emallupsame' susualn' sighed the doctor, with wave of his hand that nearly tilted him over. Funny how heavy that hand was.
 LOOKS lke d plntH, Sdlu thc Pphte7 man regretfully, when a cab driver came along and jumped down,
 Dye know i'm Jerry?" asked the cop per.
 Sure I dol" said Jerry. 'Tll take i'm home'
 So they bundled the doctor into the hack Jerry drove him around the corner, got down and went through his pockets for a card to learn his name. He found the office address, paid himself for his trouble and kept the card so he could send in a bill, then drove the doctor to his place of business. where he left him weeping on his own doorstep. Yes, weep ing, for in that brief space of time the world had changed for the doctor and all was gloom. He poked and scraped and rattled till he got the key inserted in the lock, opened the door and walked in.
 "Please be seated said a familiar voice. "The doctor will wait on you presently
 one who could feel for his woes, and so he threw himself on the automatic office girls sympathetic bosom.
 'Mynnye," he beloved, i've come home to dei'
 Now Mynnye was never intended to bear such a burden and it rather threw her out of her orbit Instead of politely showing him to the chair where the cold draught blew she began to polka and schottische into the untried paths
 Please be seated" she continued, "The doctor will wait on you presently
 But the doctor would not be seated
 ''Mynnye" he pleaded, think of the sorrow and suffering in this miserable worldr'
 Please be seated" answered Mynnye politely, prouetting with him around the center table and just missing chair "the doctor will wait on you presently. Please be seated--the doctor will wait on you presently. Please be seated--the doc tor will wait on you presently. Please be seat"
 Mynnye might still have been begging him to be seated but just at thab mo ment they pumped into the operating chair, and the doctor. feeling lthe familiar object, climbed up in it by instinct for a quiet snooze, leaving the disturbed and agitated Mynnye to prance around by herself in the dark
 A firm arm stole quietly around the doc tors neck, firm hand was clasped un- der his chin and soothing voice said:
 Now hold still This won't hurt very much"
 Doctor Harvey Hickenhyphen opened his mouth to protest, but pair of forceps settled down on one of his molars., There was gouge and a twist, a little pause for the pain to soak in, twist and a yank and another little pause, slow. steady pull and a pause, twist and an- other gouge, then n sideways jerk that yanked out the tooth and ripped as many nerves as possible.
 "Ow-w- w -w-w-w-w-wv' roared the doc tor A dark figure whred between him and the window repeating in frigidly po- lite tones
 Please be seated-the doctor will wait on you presently. Please be seated-the doctor will wait you presently. Please be seated-the doctor will wait on you presently. Please be-" but by that time Mynnye waa waltzing over near the front windows, and her voice was lost in that more soothing one that said:
 Now hold still. This won't hurt very much
 pair of forceps settled down on an- other of the doctors molars, there was a