New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-01-23
LETTERS OF AN OLD MAID.
NO. XIX.
TO A YOUNG MAN.

To a 4OUNG MAN
Dear John: I have been wondering what some
famous and well meaning advisers of The Young
Person would think OF me II they knew that you
and had been good comrades ever since you wore
large turnover collars and infnitesimal knicker-
bockers and sat on my lap with your feet dangling
at impossible distance from the floor and yet
you have scarcely received from sufficient
formulated advice TO fill pocket volume with
broad margins TO the page.
When friendship such ours exists the general
supposiion is that its only use is the guidance or
the feet Of youth appointed paths of virtue
by of perpetual admonition. peppered freely
with criticism. Don't pounce upon me for my
mixed metaphors I'm not concerned with any i'm
possible connection between guidance and pepper
In gratefully receiving my letters you must re-
member that have time to disentangle meta
phors. When they trip me up kick them aside)
Where was I? Oh. yes-speaking of the general
supposition to friendship between youth and a
youth and-the middle state, to put II soothingly
Chat may sound like geography, but It's biography
which is much more seriously to psren-
theses this morning that 1 can't get Well
general suppostions, Of course. are wrong-nine
times of ten In such pleasant alliances. youth
alone is supposed TO be benefited by the wisdom
the marki-of middle age wonder how many
OF wiser than the children appre-
ciably wiser than the older young people-the
brave-eyed pioneers of life! To you. being goner-
Gus, though young. l will confde the secret that
we. who cherish youth IN hearts sufficiently
keep the friendship Of youth. receive. rule
much than give. If advice and admoni-
ton the only benefits Of friendship. there
would be little friendship left in the worId 1t
would perish Of poverty and starvation.
The power OF an individual life. have discovered
lies less in what it expresses than in what It sug
gests My strongest recollection to-day OF the
ercse OF parental authority in my earliest child
hood is not that. OF punishment admonition
These being exercised not unreasonably have al
most forgotten. What really impressed and infu-
enced me was the effect on my mothers own mind
and heart Of my childish faults when these had
Ing II TO be alien to her own spirit-her grief at
upon her love-these. and not fear were the stimu-
lants Of my conscience. Not on her lips. but in
OF my wrongdoing SO remember a fit Of naughti-
Not being clothed with authority, could only say
Jack; you make me unhappy" and 1 afterward
forth-"Don't-dont say that" / must pause here
to say that Of course not one child in thousand
ence- Most need touch OF some rational kind OF
chiidrenI We have enough Of that and you are re
not yet old enough to be deeply interested in your
| only want to say that We elderly folk who are
wise enough 10 know that we are not much
enough 10 keep their friendship must realize that
they can be, Yes, even morei And what influence
we have comes rather by the subtle suggestion of
what We have attained TO be. rather than by the
utterance of what We profess TO know. Further
experience of life. is counterbalanced by what You
can keep alive in us You can stimulate our faith
hope and happiness. For the wisdom OF youth is
not less in its way than that OF age. 1t is differ
ent. II it keep only from becoming world
hardened 1t has done its part
In Kiplings invocation TO the True Romance"
he
Pure wisdom hath no certain path
Without thy morning eyne."
Without our view of the ideal we should ell most
surely perish.
Interpret this screed to mean that I happy in
having younger friends and grateful for their in
nuence, and mean TO keep them. This only applies
10 those who young; appear TO be born
old and that don't count. A young woman
who has the nobler elements Of character can be
trusted 10 obey the light touch Of a moral sug-
eestion more easily than the painful spur of criti-
Ism n YOU have hungered for advice and
Ionoad deyoutly to be found fault with, you now
know whv have left you without the satsfac-
ton of those good offices of the conventional friend
Yours in the bonds Of imperfection.
A'' 49, 49, PRISCILLA.