davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1904-08-11

The foundations to most fortunes
may be directly traced to advertising.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1904-08-11
An C.tGAN WITHOUT STOPS.
at Least Owner OF instrument Ne4er
k4,.Nl Iiaer1

kt,.M fie!?1.
There is a man liNi:.g in an Eiec
enth street fat who has no music
lis soul. and there is a man an -.
lower floor whose soul j. fuH :.
The lowerfoor man rot Ions 40 Z -
ed fourlunc ra",ur Ora&n 10
lares al .1ei-.-f -. ed TO n" =.
dau@- = = - ,.-:.u 10 pracfjca
it. Several lis5ft. IA. er 4 ffit=at,
a visit T. tlfs a.sl nan. and Is sz:e.
as he got inside the apart;ee.a
heard 14e parior organ OF. the lowe
floor.
Fine tened ;str1umeat, that" ho
said, because he, too, had some music
in his soul.
The musice5s man grunte0
"Whose iils,hu is Il: t.te visitor
askei.
Don't know" was the ungracious
answer
"How many stops has it?''
The host pulled himself up for a
powerful effort. Well. he replied.
cts been in the house for about a
week now, and in that time it hasn t
+, had any that have been able to dis,
cover,
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1904-08-11

He who waits on fate wins failure.
Hustle.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1904-08-11
QUOT = ION S.

1Corrected daily hy c. G. Taylor
a8d company.l
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
Why Not7

Nell Charlie
Softleigh is a per-
feet slave to that
Smith girl. He is
tied to her apron
strings.
Belle-W ell, why
shouldn't a girl
h a v e s e " e r a ]
strings to her
beau?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
How She Satisfied
Herself.

Lady Passenger
4 think it is an
outrage for you to
ask me to pay
fare for this little
boy. l would soon
er pay double fare
for myself.
Conductor-Just
as you wish, mad
am.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27

"Have you a
time table here %
asked the seedy
strang ger.
Our terms" re-
piled the restau-
rant keeper, ''are
cash in advance"
Fooled again."
Kissed the seedy
stranger between
his useless teeth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
HIS SENTENCE.

Nov, James, said the teacher,
write me a sentence in which the
words pine and butternut are used"
This is what James wrote:
1.-THE fellow felt almighty tough when
him and his best girl cut. First he
thought he'd pine away, and then he
thought he'd butternut.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
A LITTLE LEARNING.
To the skater it comes
With the loudest ring
That a little learning's
A dangerous thing.


Tommy - Paw,
teacher wants us
to tell what is the
difference between
IS p e a K" a n d
talk"
Mr.. Figg-Um-
femme see. Cen
orally when I get
into an argument
with your mother
she is outspoken
and J. am outtalk-
ed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
A LEGAL LOTTERY.

Wifey-Ah, me! Marriage is lot
terry.
Hubby-Yes, madam, it is. but unfor-
tunately not an Illegal one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
USUAL THING.

Joe-That pretty Miss Smith seems
to have quite a number of eligible
young men in her train
Tom-Yes, and it's only a matter of
time until there will be smashup. with
only one survivor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27

Muggins Why
is Newlywed SO
u n popular? He
seems to have lost
all his friends.
Buggins = w ell,
you see, his baby
is just at that age
when it does fun
ny things for its
fat h er to tell
about.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
DISCLAIMER.

Friend-The hand that rocks the era
die rules the world.
Henpekt-Not much it doesn't. Mrs.
Henpekt makes me put the baby to
sleep.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
IN MEMoRiAM.

Here lies the bearded lady.
None knew her but to praise her.
She lived to the age of eeghty-five
And never used a razor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27

AN EXTREMIST.
Miss Pert-Is Miss Strait Lace cir
cumspect?
Miss Caustic-Is she circunsnect>
why she won't even accompany a
young man on the piano without a
chaperon!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
REAL THING,

HEAL THING.
Physician-What seems to be the
trouble?
Patient-Dyspepsia guess.
Physician-How do you feel?
Patient-As though I had swallowed
everything mentioned in a cookbook.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
JUST THE SAME.

They tell me that the winters mild
To calm my shiv'ring fears,
Yet ashes come and ashes go
And hard coal disappears.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
KEEPS AT IT.

KEEPS AT 1T.
"Are you really going to employ
him?"
Yes. Why, isn't he a steady MANI"
"Well, he's steady in one way"
"And what is that?"
Hes steady drinker.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
The LIKENESS.

THE LIKENESS.
The portrait tumbled from the wall
And hit the young mans head.
"a striking likeness!" That was all
The rueful punster said.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
GoneI

HIS sINGLENEss OF PURPOSE.
Jones-Has he SO far displayed any
singleness of purpose?
Bones-Yes; he has sworn never to
marry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
1t Sounded Like a
Cow,

Fond Mother -
Oh, Harry, baby
can say "cow!"
Say "cow," baby.
Baby-Moo!
Fond Mother =
Therei Isn't that
too cute?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27

NO JURY NEEDED.
Dealer-Here's cigar want you to
try.
Customer Ca minute later)-It don't
deserve a trial. It ought to be lynched.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
His Busiest Hour,

His Busiest Hour.
The Bore oh,
excuse me. 1 did
not know you
were SO busy, or
I wouldn't have
dropped in. When
is your busiest
time?
The Editor
w h en- anybody
calls.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
Her Golden Wed :
dina.

Mrs. Wabash :
Mrs. Lakeside Is
going to celebrate
her golden we'd
ding next week.
Mrs. Manhattan
You don't say
so!
Mrs. Wabash =
Yes; she will then
have been mar
ried fifty times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
Ill.

well, if this isn't that good cigar
coming sailing through the air into me
mouf!
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
oOinsI /! 1

A HOLDUP.
Throw up your hands!" harshly said.
We fingered by the stair.
Her hands few high above her head
kissed her then and there.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
~.

"Now, does you think that it's lust
luck, or, if not, wot? Goodby, ALI"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-02-27
A TRICK OF THE TRADE,

"If you would like smaller waist in
your photograph, madam, would sue-
sest that you
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
ExERTs AN AWFUL POWER
Exploding Dynamite Is the Most Trs
mendous Force In Existence.

Exploding Dynamite Is the Most Ire.
mendous Force In Existence.
When dynamite explodes 1t leaves
little to mark the spot where 1t has
lain save evidences Of its destructive
ness. Two Interesting exhibits Of Its
force are shown In the Stevens Inkt.
tute Of Technology at Hoboken, N. J.
They are steel blocks, six inches in
diameter. and four inches thick, show.
ing respectively the impression Of an
oak leaf and the imprint of the head
line OF a western newspaper. 1t was
during test Of high explosives that q
cartridge Of dynamite was placed Oh
a newspaper covering the block OF
steel, the object being to see how much
dynamite would be required to split
the metal.
The dynamite was fred without IN
Jury to the steel, but to the surprise of
the experimenter the print of the
newspaper was deeply pressed into the
metal. The experiment was repeated
with the same result, and then was
elaborated by trying the charge on ar
oak leaf placed between the block and
the dynamite. This time the stem and
the ribs Of the leaf were deeply i'm.
pressed In the metal.
what happens Is this" said the ex
pert In charge. "Unlike most other ex
plosives, dynamite exerts practically
ali its crushing force downward and
not in a general direction. So incon-
ceivably quick and forceful is the dis
charge Of this powder that the imprint
OF the ribs of an oak leaf are made be-
fore the leaf has time to be blown to
atoms. In the case Of the newspaper
it appears that whero printers ink
touches the paper the paper Is harden
ed and more capable of resistance than
in other places, and 50 it is that before
the paper is destroyed the printing on
it is forced deep into the metal"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
How co s,een

II 10 not uncommon to hear people
say III was too tired to sleep"--but 1t
IL not generally known how great q
help Il IL at such times not TO try 20
sleep, but to 80 20 work deliberately to
get rested IN preparation for IT, IN
nine cases out OF ten II IL the unwill'
ingness to lie awake that keeps us
awake. We toss and turn and wish we
could sleep. We fret, and fume, ana
worry, because we do not sleep, We
think OF all we have to de on tho fol-
lowing day and are oppressed with
the thought that we cannot do II II we
do not sleep, First, we try one expert
ment 70 see II Il viii not mako us
sleep. and when Il fails, we try another
aud perhaps another, In each expert
ment We are watching TO see II II viii
work. There are many things 20 do,
any one OF which might help us to
sleep, but the watching TO see IL they
will work keeps us awake
When we are kept awake from our
fatigue. the first thing TO do IL to say
over and over to ourselves that we do
not care whether we sleep or not, In
order to Undue ourselves with a
healthy Indifference about II, II will
help toward gaining this wholesome In
difference 10 say II am too tired to
sleep, and therefore, the first thing for
me to do Is TO get rested In order 70
prepare for sleep, When my brain Il
well rested. Il win 80 TO sleep; Il cannot
help Il. When It Is well rested, Il will
sleep just as naturally as my lungs
breathe, or as my heart beats,"--Les
lies Monthly.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
EASY TO APPEAR paEsENrAsLE

Persons who Meet Ua Casually Can
Judge Of Us Only by Our Appearance.
In these days OF inexpensive cloth
mg, no one can afford to leave his
room until he is in condition to be
presentable anywhere. Neither can he
AFFORD to bother about thinking OF bis
clothing after he is once dressed. but
he should so clothe himself that he
will be utterly unconscious OF any In
ferioriy. A sense OF being ntungv
and appropriately dressed Increases
ones efficiency and self-respect, and so
adds materially to achievement II you
are improperly dressed or badly
'groomed," you w4A feel certain TIM
idity In meeting people, loss Of pow
er. This results In uneasiness, worry,
chagrin, and a real loss Of energy and
self-confdence.
We are. our own best advertise
ments, and, II we appear to disadvan-
tage in any particular, our standard.
In the estimate OF others, is cut down.
The great majority OF people who come
in contact with us do not see us at our
homes: they may never see our stocks
and bonds, or lands and houses; they
know nothing of us, unless It be by
reputation, but what they see OF our
personality, and they judge us accord
ingly. They take 1t for granted that
our general appearance is a sample OF
what we are and what we can do, and,
IL we are slovenly in dress. and in per-
sonal habits, they naturally think that
our work and our lives will correspond.
They are right II does not matter
where the slackness or shiftlessness
manifests itself. or what its nature
may be, 1t viii reappear In your work,
in your manner, and In your person.
Many people form careless habit of
neglecting some part OF their toilet.
as when they black only the front part
of their shoes and leave the heels un-
touched, The same incompleteness.
the same lack of finish viii appear in
every letter they write and in every
piece of work they attempt to do. 1t
will prove a detriment to character
growth. The consciousness Of incom-
pleteness, or "slipshodness," tends to
destroy self-respect, to lessen energy,
and to detract from ones general abili-
U.-Success.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
sooKMARk WITH a STORY.
II Was Once Used by a lobbyist and
Tella n Queer Story.

1t Was Once Used by a lobbyist and
Tella u Queer Story.
The San Francisco land grabbetS'
methods Of conveying bribe money TO
employees Of the land Office recalls the
manner In which a certain lobbyist out
West used to make II worth while
for legislators to vote as he wished. A
Bible society had placed a copy OF the
scriptures in each room of every hotel
In the State. Whenever the lobbyist
wished to bribe a member OF the leg
islature he would invite him to his
room and. after going over all the le-
gitimats arguments in favor OF his
measure, would ask II the legislator
had ever read the book Of Job. 1t was
a fairly safe guess that he had not, but
even II he had not It made no differ.
ence.
"It is wonderful story. the lobby
list would say. "and think you would
find 1t profitable to read IT," Then he
would place the Bible in his guests
hand. bidding him read Job while he,
the lobbyist stepped out for few mo-
ments.
How do you like It as far as you
have readT' he would ask when he re-
turned.
If the legislator said he liked II the
lobbyist knew that the bank note
which he had previously placed be-
tween the leaves at the beginning Of
the book OF Job was OF a satisfactory
denomination.
They used to tell the story out there
that legislator once took the money
and then voted against the lobbyist 8
measure, whereupon the lobby ist
frightened him into giving back the
money by threatening to prosecute
him for grand larceny. And, sure
enough, it was nothing less, for the
lobbyist had not said word to lndI.
cate that he meant to have the legls-
lator take the money, and. of course, a
man has a right to use $1,000 bill
as a bookmark II he wants to.-Brook.
lyn Eagle.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
THEATERs OF OLD COUNTRY
In Many Cities They Are Controlled
by the Government.

In Many Cities They Are Controlled
by the Government.
The recent theater horror in Chicago
has turned the attention of the country
toward theaters in general and numer-
GUS cities are hurrying to get their
houses in order" that such catastro-
phe may not occur to them, says the
Municipal Journal and Engineer. 1t
would speak better for these cities If
they did not need such prompting. In
many cities on the continent the opera
ton of theaters is not left to private
concerns, but the municipalities have
erected the playhouses or subsidized
them, and this idea Is gradually
spreading.
In Vienna the court theaters were
erected by the state on state lands and
consist of two buildings for different
phases of the drama. The opera house
for operas, baIlets and concerts. cost In
the neighborhood Of $2,54S,975, while
the Burg Theater, for the drama itself,
cost $6S,530. These theaters are the
property of the Emperor's treasury
aud are maintained by the lord cham
berl&in's department, and whenever
the revenue does not cover the ex-
penses the Emperors civil list makes
up the difference The chamberlain 9
department assumes no responsibility
in extending the grant, which is looked
after by the Hungarian government.
Besides the state grants, the Royal
Opera House and other theaters in
Budapest receive different grants from
thestate and other smaller grants from
the city. The provincial towns Of Hun
gary assist theater managers by al
lowing free use Of buildings and help
ing to defray cost Of heating and light
ing.
Belgium grants subsidies to COM
posers, whose works are produced in
Belgium theater, and, in addition,
subsidies are given to composers pro
ducing their works in French, Flemish
or Walloon. Most of the cities sub
sidize or own several theaters, some
are given rent free, and in most of
them the scenery and furniture belong
to the town.
At Sophia, Bulgaria, the city is to
erect theater as soon as enough mon
ey is accumulated from the state lot
terry.
In France, the four national thea
ters occupy the buildings rent free, but
they must pay the taxes, provide for
maintenance and allow larger repairs
to be made by the state without claim
for damages through interruption. An
annual subsidy is granted to each the
ater by the national parliament, ware
houses are provided for storing
scenery. The three largest theaters
must submit to regulation of the
choice Of pieces produced, prices of
seats, number Of performances, as well
as the number Of new pieces per year,
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
Fair Play.

During the reform riots In hyde
Park, London, In 1865, the mob, on a
well-remembered night, began tearing
down the fences Of Hyde Park for fires
and barricades. Colonel Thomas Went
worth Higginson tells in the Atlantic
Monthly of an English officer who was
dining with a friend, all unconscious
Of the impending danger. Presently
he received summons from the War
Department, telling him that his regi.
ment was ordered out to deal with the
mob.
He FASTENED back to his own house,
but when he called for his horse he
found that his servant had received
permission to go out for the evening,
and had the key of the stable In his
pocket The officer hastily donned his
uniform, and then had to proceed on
foot to the Guards Armory, which lay
on the other side of Hyde Park. Walk
Ing hastily III that direction, he came
out Unexpectedly at the very headquar-
ters of the mob, where they were al
ready piling up the fences
His uniform was recognized, and an
CRY shouts arose. 1t must have seemed
for the moment to the mob that the
Lord had delivered their worst enemy
into their hands.
There was but one thing to be done.
He made his way straight toward the
center of action, and called to man
who was mounted on the pile, and was
evidently the leader Of the tumult:
II say, my good man, my regiment
has been called out by her MaJesty's
orders. Will you give me hand over
this pile"
The man hesitated a minute, and
then said with decision, Boys, the
gentleman lie right. He is doing his
duty, and we have no quarrel with
him. Lend hand and help him over"
This was promptly done with entire
respect, and the officer in his brilliant
uniform went hastily on his way amid
three cheers from the mob. Then the
mob returned to it's work, to complete
1t If possible before he whom they had
aided should come back at the head OF
his regiment, and perhaps order them
to be shot down.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
An Rlsht Again,

Opal, wyo., May l6.-Atter suffering
terribly foi four or Ave years Mr.. A. j,
Kohuer Of this place has been COM
pletely restored TO good health. His
case and its cure Is another proof oi
tho wonderful work Dodd's' Kidney
Pills can do. Mr.. Kohner says:
''For four or five years l have been q
sufferer with Kidney trouble and q
pain over my Kidneys. l thought !
would give Dodd's Kidney Pills q trial
and am glad l did 30, for they have
done me good work and ! feel all right
again."
Many cases are being reported every
week in which Dodd's Kidney Pills
have effected cures OF the most serious
cases.
These strong testimonies from earn.
est men and women are splendid trib,
utes TO the curative properties ol
Dodd's Kidney Pills and judging by
these letters, there Is no case OF Kidney
trouble or backache that Dodd's Kid
ney Pills will not cure promptly and
permanently.
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
GOOD
Short rtStoriss

An English lawyer, who had been
cross-exsmining witness for some
time. and who had sorely taxed the pa
tience Of the judge, jury, and every
one In the court. was finally asked hy
the court to conclude his cross-exams
lnation. Before telling the witness to
stand down, he aecoSted him with
this parting sarcasm; "Ah, you're a
clever tellow--a very clever fellow
We can all see that" The witness
leaned over from the box. and quietly
retorted: Il would return the eompu'
ment II were not on OATH"
Browning had a maid in his service
who had a gift for saying quaint
things, When the poet was going to
pay the last mark of respect to George
Henry Lewes, abe said she didn't see
the good OF catching cold at other peo-
pies funerals" And once, when he
was away on holiday and journal-
list came to the door to inquire II 1t
was true that the poet was dead. she
Indignantly answered; II have not
heard so, and l am sure my master
Is not the kind OF man to do such
thing without letting US know"
whistler's amusing personal conceit
was charmingly displayed on one oc-
casion when A. G. Plowden, London
police magistrate. attended a private
view at the Grosvenor Gallery. "AE
most the first friend I met" he says,
twas Whistler, and he very good-na-
turedly took me up to full-length
portrait which he was exhibiting Of
Lady Archibald Campbell. After l
had done my best 70 express my hum
ble appreciation Of a beautiful picture,
l asked him II there were any other
pictures which he would advise me to
look at. Other pictures, said Whistler,
in a tone of horror; other pictures!
There are no other pictures! You are
through"
The list OF silent great men is a long
one. Especially is this true Of noted
warriors. wallenstein, wellington,
Won Moltke, Grant, Marlborough,
Chsrlemagne. Hannibal, Caesar, all
gave their orders in as few words as
possible, and demanded like brevity
from their subordinates. 1t Is said that
Marlborough never allowed more than
minute for a verbal report, and 1t is
told Of Won Moltks that when an aide
de-camp brought written message
that France had declared war, the
great general simply ordered 1t fifed
In the second pigeon-hole on the
right, FIRST tier" In that pigeon-hole
were complete plans for the successful
campaign that followed.
Here is an anecdote which William
Dean HowellS tells of his first personal
recognition as a writer: Years ago,
one evening after a day Of lonely sight
seeing In Montreal, / returned to the
hotel where l was stopping, and con-
suited the register In the hope Of find-
ing the name Of some acquaintance.
was disappointed, and, turning away,
met two well-dressed young men,
who embraced the register eagerly,
and, presently, one Of them said, to my
great surprise and JOY: Hello, Tom!
Here's Howells.' '0hF l exclaimed,
turning toward them, I was just look
ing for some one l knew. I'm glad to
see you. hope you're some fellows
who know mer Only through your
contributions to the Saturday Press
they replied. It was the first personal
recognition of my work as an author
that l had ever received from a stran-
ger, and the words were golden"
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-05-19
BITS OF KOREAN WISDOM.
Proverbs that Show an Insight to
Their Character.

Proverbs that Show an Insight te
Their Character.
The Boston Transcript is indebted to
a citizen Of Korea for a number OF
proverbs and sayings which afford an
interesting insight into Korean modes
of thought, and in this way illustrate
the Intellectual aptitude and power OF
observation Of the people:
"a thing is good when it is new; a
man is good when he Is old"
"He who hath eaten salt drinketh
water"
"One can paint the fur Of the tiger,
but not his joints"
"One knows the face of a man, but
not his interior"
eff one Is not observing, one sees
nothing"
even the blind man can find his
way through an open door,"
when the tiger is gone the fox Is
master"
"As soon as the moon is full 1t be-
gins to grow smaller"
The higher the mountain the deeper
the valley"
Does smoke come out of a hreless
chimneyT
Even a hedgehog says his young
ones are weak"
"a single high wheat stalk is not
distinguished from the rest in the
field"
"a basket full of gold is not 80
valuable for a son as instruction in
one Of the classics"
'It is only the thirsty who dig a
well"
when the OK has broken through
the stall repairs are first made"
"a family who has no sickness for
ten years must be rich"