davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
AN EXPENSIVE BUNKER.
This Golf Player Intended to Swear
= It Out While He Was
About It.

One of New York's prominent clergy.
men who is an enthusiastic golfer was
playing over the Morristown links re-
Gently with a clubman whose language Is
not always suited to clerical ears. After
q badly sliced drive the latter, from force
of habit, let fall word or two which
required an apology to his reverend COM
panion, relates the New York Times.
Beg pardon, DOCTOR" he exclaimed,
"but It hoped out before knew it.. If
ma Ike many more strokes like that,
though. I won't vouch for what / may
say: You'll have to forgive me: It's q
bad habit I've got into"
Mr.. f." said the clergyman, think.
ing to put an 'effectual quietus to this sort
Of thing, suppose you agree to pay me u
dollar for, every oath, the money to oe
given to charity"
Mr.. Hooked dubious.
IAN right, I'll 60 you on that" he
said, finally.
All went smoothly for awhile until he
'foozled" his drive, when out came the
dollar bill, which the clergyman quietly
pocketed. On the next hole he drove into
the bunker and had to go down into his
pockets again. This time out came a
$40 bill.
. But haven't the change" exclaimed
:'Then don't bother about it, doctor,
for intend to swear it out"
And he did, by the time he got out of
that bunker. r..
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Goat Fills Important Place.

The goat Is the poor mans COW. The
ordinary family in the city may have
a supply of the best milk in the world
at a nominal cost, by keeping a goat
The animal will browse in the bac'-
yard and back alley. It will eat any,
thing and everything. OF course what
it eats manifests itself in the milk. The
average family throws away enough
apple, tomato and turnip parings, with
other waste from the table, to keep a
goat in good condition. The goat will
eat the labels off tin cans in going
after the paste, but there is no record
that he ever ate the can itself. The
goat must have exercise. If her range
is not large, a ladder placed in the
backyard will serve her purpose ad-
mirably, and she will prove her sure
footedness in clambering over it. For
the best results the goat should be
MIXED three times day, though not
at all necessary unless convenient
New YORK. Farmer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
In Society.

A woman in society is obliged to keep
late hours. She must attend receptions
and balls. She seldom allows herself g.
quiet evening at home. Her whole time
is taken up in keeping engagements or
entertaining in her own home.
Her system becomes completely run
down as a consequence. She soon finds
herself in a condition known as sys-
temic catarrh. This has also been called
catarrhal nervousness.
II every society woman could know
the value of Peruna at such q time, ii
thew could realize the invigorating,
STRENGTHENING effect that Peruna would
have. how much misery could be
avoided.
Letters from society women all over
the United States testify to the fact that
Peruna is the tonic for run down,
depleted nervous system.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
HELPFUL DAIRY NOTES.

Milk should be separated before the
temperature falls, as at the tempera-
ture at which 1t is drawn separation is
easy.
= Milk cans filled with milk cool faster
IN water than in air at the same tenn
perature, as the water is better con-
ductor of heat. 49, -
Most stables have too much cowy
odor in them to make it safe to keep
milk in the stable after it is drawn
or to. do the separating in that place.
Some men separate their milk in the
stable and say that II the stable is not
clean enough for that operation 1t is
not clean enough for the operation of
milking 'r>
The practice Of sending milk to the
creamery without strainiEg It should
be discontinued. The strainer is of
value yet; even though separators are
used in c:eameries. ~;
If man does not want to take time
to wash his cows before they are
milke6; rubbing the udders with a
damp cloth will do some good, Ard il
not a~time-wasting operation.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
CHEAP. DAIRY FARM BARN.
It Affords Shelter for Horses az Well
~ for . ooodly Number Of ),
: Other Animals. .

l. submit to YOU my plan Of reason
ably cheap barn. although 1t is net ex-
clusively = COW barn. There is room
for ten head of horses and one bull.
would rather keep the bull on this side
Of the barn than with the cows, as he is
not as restless. The south side is exclu-
sively for the cows and calves. I have
room for six cows and six calves, but
the room Is large enough for ten calves.
The cow stalls could also be made small
er to accommodate one more COW. They
are now four feet eight inches wide,
which is too wide, as the cows can turn
around in them. / think four feet amply
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Fresh Air for the Cows.

Some writer's advise to air the COW
stables just before milking. This is
q commendable practice, when the
airing can be done without exposing
the COWS to drafts that would result
in colds. Air that has been breathed
over and over by, the, cows all night,
and that in addition permeated with
odors rising from liquid and solid
manure is sure to contaminate the
milk that is drawn in 1t, no matter
how quickly the milk is ! removed
from the stable after milking. Either
have a system of ventilation so per.
feet that the air will keep pure at all
times, or arrange some way Of airing
out the stable before milking
Farmers Review.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
WINDMILL CHURN.

churn has been replaced among many
snterprising farmers by patent churn
run by a dog treadmill. In the great
modern dairies the bitter is churned by
the ton by steam or electricity. The
windmill churn, in actual use In some
parts of Holland, is at once a very SIM
pie and an inexpensive solution Of the
problem. The milk is placed in a jar or
similar vessel, which is inclosed' in q
box, which in turn is fixed to- the axle
of the windmill. The wind, of course,
does the churning, and the faster the
wind blows the quicker will the butter
appear. ,%..'
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
BAD DREAMS
Indicate Improper Diet, Usually DIX
- =. q. to Coffee. :

One Of the common symptoms OF COT
fee poisoning is the bad. dreams that
spoil what should be restful sleep. A
man who found the reason says:
Formerly was slave to coffee. I
was like q morphine fend, could not
sleep at night, would roll and toss in
my bed and when I did get to sleep
was disturbed by dreams and hobgob-
Inns, would wake up with headaches
and feel bad all day.. SO nervous l could
not attend to business. My writing
looked like bird tracks,. I had sour
.belchings, from the stomach, indiges-
ton, heartburn and palpitation Of the
heart, constipation, irregularity Of tho
kidneys, etc. ..:,
Indeed, i began to feel 1 had all the
troubles that human flesh could suffer;
but when a friend advised me to leave
OF coffee felt as II he had insulted
me. could not bear the idea, it had
such q hold on me and refused to be-
lieve it the cause. s.. .....~:,...>. 49,.
:. "But it turned out that no advice
was ever given at more needed time,
for I finally consented to try Postum.
and with the going Of coffee and the
coming of Postum all my troubles have
gone and health has returned. l eat
and sleep we'll now, nerves steadied
down and I write a fair, hand Gas you
can see), can attend to business again
and rejoice that I am free from the
monster Coffee Name given by
Postum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. ! :
q Ten days trial Of Postum in place OF
coffee will bring sound, restful, re-
freshing sleep. There's a reason.
Look in each pkg. for the famous Ut
tie book, .''The Road to Wellville." y.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

s3 w her0ver men IRE there win lbe aillnosG.
md wherever people are III 'Dodd' b Kid
tey Pills will BE- found : blessing. Solely
Son their merits have they pushed their
lied world. Their reputation as an hon.
est medicine that can always be relied on
has been built UP by the. grateful praise
rDf those who have been cured. The two
following letters indicate just how tho
reputation of this remedy knows no geo.
graphical bounds. The sick and suffering
a.! over the world are asking for Dodd .
Dear Sirs: E}4. Z, 3, 81
i have been suffering for some months
from Kidney complaint. The doctor
VINO attended me recommended me to take
your ''Dodd's Kidney Pills" After two
boxe. / got some relief. But unfortunate
" have not been able to 60 on with the
treatment, being unable to find any Pills
i The Chemist who sold me the two boxes
has informed me that he had sent an or.
der tor some, and has beeu keeping me
waiting for more than one month. Tins
10 the reason why I am writing TO you
to request you to have the goodness to
send me BY return of post six boxes Tor
which; l will pay as soon as ! receive them
Kindly let me know at the same tims
WHCIS yOur UIaAC1 aSeuCy IA Lkypt ~
to be found. Thanking you in anticipa'
MOHAMED RACHEL,
&c. "Immeubles Iibres de rEtat",
~ Office Of the Minister of -
f.. La ,153 CAIRO CAIRO, EGYPT.
Dear Sirs: ~
I want to purchase six boxes of Dodd's
Kidney Pills.. but I don't know exactly
where TO apply at Buffalo or London. I
suppose they can be sent by express or
registered mail from either place. Please
advise me of how to proceed in order to
get the pills without delay.
:, - = {. Yours truly, ~ -
r . j. P. Simonson.
Viborr. v. Mark,
DENMARK.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Please Tell Your Readers Our Big
6O-Cent Catalogue Is Now Free.

For years the price of our big General
Merchandise Catalogue has been 30 cents,
but we have reduced our selling prices on
all kinds Of goods SO far below all other
houses as to insure almost every catalogue
bringing orders and making new custom
making machinery, new automatic rotary
printing, folding, binding and covering ma.
chinery we have so reduced the cost of
making this big book that we will now
send it by mail, postpaid, free to any adj
dress on application:
The big book which heretofore was sold
at so cents each and which is now free for
the asking, is 8axll3 inches in size, con-
tains thousands Of illustrations, descrip-
tions and prices, is thoroughly complete
in nearly every kind of merchandise, in.
Guiding dry goods, clothing, boots and
shoes, furnishing goods, notions, millinery,
carpets, uphdlstering. hardware, tools, cleo"
trical goods, guns, sporting goods a sewing
pianos, furniture, baby carriages, crock.
goods. optical goods, talking machines,
moving picture apparatus, buggies, harness,
saddles, saddlery, watches, jewelry,. silver
ware, clocks, safes, refrigerators, tinware,
everything used in the home. IN the sn snort ri
priced at prices much lower than were
ever offered by any other house:
If YOU have one Of our big catalogues or
have ever seen one you know what it is,
the most complete, most up to date and
lowest priced catalogue ever published, 1t
you haven't our big catalogue don't fail to
book please tell YOUR friends and neigh:
bors that the book is now free and they
can get one for the asking. Simply on
postal card or in a letter say, Send me
your Big Catalogue. and the big new
book, our regular 50-cent catalogue will go
to you by return mail, postpaid, free with
eo%fhs Pleas d9n the fS15 gg bot *
that the biz 50-cent book is now free to
anyone for the asking. Address
SEARS. ROEBUCK & CO., Chicago.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

Il Proves In Cold Figures That Only
t the Rich Can Afford to Keep u
I "}t Poor Cows. oInyt ,E'4~0

In q recent Issue OF the Dalryma1 ID
given good illustration of the result
that is liable to occur when a man tries
to buy his cows too cheaply. A man In
New York went to farm whose owner
had ten cows to sell, OF the ten, three
are cows that yield over $500 quarts OF
milk each year, four yield about 1000
quarts each, and three yield about l $50
quarts each.
. Here was q dairy representing tho
three principal classes Of cows, good
yielders, poor yielders and very poor
yielders. The three 3.500-quart cows
were held at SIS head. The four
2,OOO-quart cows were held at $45 a
head. The four 1,150-quart cows were
held at $35 head.
In other terms, here were three good
COWS to be had for S226, four poor ones
to be had for $3.50, and three very poor
ones to be had for sos. The buyer took
the three very poor ones and one of the
poor ones, paying $50 for the four.
His idea was that he could not afford
to buy" three cows that cost 1926, and
that he could afford to buy" four that
cost him $50.
How will his purchase work out dur
ing the coming year? Barring accidents
and disease, his four cows will yield
during the year $3.50 quarts Of milk.
and he will have four calves to raise or
sell. The milk will probably average
2.S cents a quart, or>$152.60 for the
year. The value of the calves, II put at
$50, would swell the years income to
$172.60. That means an income OF
$4315 per COW for the year.
The cost of keeping the four cows
will not be far below his income from
them, If, indeed, it does not equal or ex-
ceed the income. Apparently these four
cows are not going to be valuable in
come earners.
Can he afford" to 60 on keeping
COWS of that class? Suppose he had
taken the three good cows at 1925. How
would his year work out with them?
He would have paid $225 for the three.
They would have yielded 10000 quarts
of milk in the same year. At the same
average price, 28 cents a quart, the in
come from these cows would be 1924
for their milk. and their calves, at the
same price per head. would be worth
SIS, making the years income 5000. II
we assume that the cows purchased just
paid for their feed and labor. the other
COWS at the same rate would have left
after deducting these items SEATS each.
or a total of $19425, to apply on the re-
payment of the purchase price. The
second year at this rate the three good
cows would finish the cancellation Of
the original investment and leave a
balance of S163.50. II the sum avail
able for investment is limited, curtail
the number of individuals rather than
the quality. Only the rich man can
afford to keep poor cows.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
re. y r' Es,{f
PLAN OF DAIRY BARN.

- Plan OF OAIR1 BARN. >,
wide enough for any cow. I have a rack
in front Of the COWS with q feed trough
extending the entire length Of the rack,
so as to catch all hay the cows pull
through the rack. also feed their grain
In this trough. The cows are locked in
their respective stalls by means. Of a
2x6 bolted to end post of the stall, and as
long as the stall is wide, which is swung
up when the COWS are taken, out of the
stall. I have gangway four feet wide
behind the COW stall through which the
calves pass in going to their stalls, as
they come in at the same door that the
COWS do. The middle Of the barn, or
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
SORE HANDS.
Itching, Burning Palms and Painful
Finger Ends-Complete Cure
by Cuticura.

One Night Treatment: Soak the hands
on retiring, in strong, hot, creamy lathel
of Cuticura Soap. Dry, and anoint freely
with Cuticura Ointment, the great skin
cure and purest of emollients: Wear, dur
ing the night, old, loose kid gloves, or
bandage lightly in DID,. soft cotton or
linen. For red, rough and chapped hand!
dry, fssured, itching, feverish palms, with
ends, this treatment is simply wonderful,
frequently curing IN single application.
In no other ailment have Cuticura Soap
and Cuticura Ointment been more ct
fective.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
lAs GOOD AS the BEST.
This Dining Hour Of, the Best People
! Was His Eating Time rs
.sst&sH@ as Well.

Gen. Reyes, the president of Colon
bia, attended a dinner party in New
York before he sailed on the Kaiser Will
helm for Paris recently, says the New
THEY tell me-" Gen. Reyes said at
this dinner, that the United States has
its share Of nouveaux riches-of new.rich
persons. This may be so, but am sure
that the new-rich are to be found every
where. like them. They make, though,
strange mistakes.
t'There is new-rich-a. millionaire-in
Panama. This gentleman engaged but
Ter the other day.
What time, SIR said the new but
Ter, would you wish to dine as a rule?
S"'What time do the best people diner
said the new-rich
cat different times, sir the butler
answered.
every well, said the new-rich. Then
], too, will dine at different times"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Annual Income from Cows.

The mich cows of the United States
add $685., 200, 900 to the annual in
come Of its farmers. This is large
sum Of money, to be sure, but for the
number of cows contributing it, it is
far from being as large IS it. should
be-. There were in 1900 ia excess OF
1900 900 head, which would make the
average revenue derived from each not
far from $3.50. There must be good
many '.robber" cows in this country
to produce such results S. tasse.-
Farm Journal y &.S T. - ~ - -:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
GOOD IDEA FROM HOLLAND.
inexpensive: Solution Of the vsxed
q = Problem Of Making Butter at
Minimum Expense.

Butter is made in variety Of ways,
by hand power, steam power, even dog
power, but it is safe to say that the churn
illustrated herewith is entirely labor
saving device. The laborious old hand
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
K. G. 8. Almanac for 1904.

The Kansas City Southern Railway
Company's Annual Almanac is now ready
monthly calendars, many useful household
hints and information concerning the
Country in Missouri, Arkansas, The Indian
Terr:yory,, Texas and Louisiana. Write
for . cop, to-. S. G.. Warner. Gen. Pass.
l. T It. K. G. S. Ry., Kansas City.
Mo ,-et
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Gained Twenty Pounds.

Hartford Mills, N. Y, May l6.-This
neighborhood is aroused as never before
by some wonderful cures by Dodd's Kid
ney. Pills. These began with the case
of Mrs. j. D. Wallace, who had been
in very poor health for long time and
who had got 80 bad at last that she
couldn't walk from her home to the vii
lage and back, distance of about eighty
rods, without being tired out and in pain
all over.
She had only used few of Dodd's Kid
ney Pills, when she noticed a change for
the better and in very short time she
was able to walk any reasonable distance
out feeling any ny'S bad d effects. ''A "'
She has gained twenty pounds in weight
in three months and is now as we'll a
woman as could be found. She declares
the Dodd's Kidney Pills deserve all the
credit for her wonderful restoration.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Possible Explanation.

Ignorance remarked young saphead,
"they say is Bliss
That" rejoincd Miss Caustique, ''ac-
counts for it, imagine
Accounts for WHAT" queried the youth.
plied.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Real Sport.

The ticket Spectator entered the pri-
vate Office of the great manufacturer.
Nov, SIR" said the former, ''let me sell
you q. season ticket to the baseball
grounds"
The great manufacturer shook his head
sadly.
NO" he sighed, I'm only the boss.
You'll have to see the Office y."-Chi-
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Ladies Can Wear Shoes

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease. A certain cure for swollen, sweating,
cept no substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address A. s.. Olmsted. LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

One objection to the "Star-Spangled
Banner" as the national all is that so
many citizens of the nation never see
anything by the dawn's early light"
Kansas City Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

Jersey applejack is said to prevent
hydropnobia and cause Snakes" The
economic and moral statue of the fluid
is thus open to debate.-N. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

I The things that come to the men who
wait are generally done up in cans.-Chi-
cago Record Herald.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

The man who hurries is frequently only
squirting a rocking horse.-Chicago Trib-
une. g., -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

The report that the Korean emperor's
palace was burned by members of the
. Peddlers' guild indicates that his celes.
tial highness has been buying his hair
oil and tea gowns from scab Dealers
Galveston News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

"a Some men," said Uncle Eben, "seem
to imagine dey shows DER superiority to
everybody else by tryin' to act meaner
dan anybody se''-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

Man is a harp and not hand organ
Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20

Do not believe Piso's Cure for ConsumP-
+. Boyer. Trinity Springs; Ind, Feb. Is, 1900
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
SURPRISED Her.

9sa a glib-tongued fakir with wagon load
q bulbs sold out his entire stock In trade
In short order the other day n " y,
Here yare, gents. He was announc-
They'll grow into the most useful flower
known to the American household; fra
grant and rch perfume can be made out
Of the flowers for them that likes that
kind. They'll grow anywhere inside the
house. or out in the garden. Git 'em
now an surprise your wife. Ten cents
three for quarter!"
One confiding SOUL bought a half dollars
"Onions-just onions! fut them in the
cellar" she said. six for half dollar:
Please don't go out without guardian
when YOU buy flowers .hereafter!"-Chi-
cago Inter Ocean.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
SOCIETY WRECKED HER LIFE.
Tired, Nervous, Aching, 1ren'-
bling leepless, Bloodless.
Pe.ru-aa Reaovates. Regulates,
Restores. & #.,
- -, r.. |tr4E5 #S#&+
4 Pretty New York WoG'an's
Recovery the Talk OF Her u.
Numerous Friends.

Mr.. J. E.. Finn, 50 East High street,
Buffalo, N. Y. writes: .ar,
Peruna Medicine Co., Columbus, Ohio. 4
Gentlemen IA fezv years ago
T. had to give UP social life entirely
as my health 1Vas completely broken
doaiu. The doctor advised a COM
plete rest for a year. As this avas
out of the question for q time, l be-
Gan to look for some other means
of restoring my health.
81 had often heard of Per'.na as
an excellent tonic, so 1 bought a bot
tie to see 1ukat it. 1esonld do for me,
and it certainly took hold of my
system and rejnvenated me, and IN
less than tqe0 months / zVas in per-.
feet health, and no1V 1Vher / feel
7vor,. ~ont or tired dose or too Of
Pernna is all that I meed."-Mrs.
J. E. Finn. :
Mrs. J. W. Reynolds, Elkton. Ohio,
writes: i
Il owe my health and life to Peruna.
We rarely call in a physician, In fact It
has been years since have taken any
other medicine than yours. am afraid
of drugs, and although have been sick
many times I have taken only your
medicines. They are wonderful indeed.
We have a very large house and enter
tain q great deal, and do all my own
work, thanks to Peruna. ]. w.
Reynolds. ~.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1904-05-20
Free Treatment for Wome0.

Any woman wishing to be placed on
the list of Dr. Hartman's patients for
free home treatment and advice should
Immediately send name and symptoms,
duration of disease and treatment
already tried. Directions for the first
months treatment will be promptly
mailed free of charge No free medicine
will be supplied by the doctor, but all
necessary directions will be furnished.
Read what the above ladies. have to
say of Peruna as a cure for these cases.
Address DR.. Hartman. President of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus.
0hi0