davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
A Parker Monument.

While the ardent sportsman Of Oys-
ter Bay joyfully greets the peaceful
agriculturist of Esopus, the charging
hero of San Juan Hill finds his coun-
terpart in the Judge on horseback in
the somber gray of the morning after
the nomination at st. Louis.
It is a noble picture drawn by the
hand of friend.
Just before mounting his horse a
telegram was handed him, giving a
concise outline of the platform. From
the moment of his reading of that
telegram it was noticed that he was
very much preoccupied, and az he
rode off his head was bowed as If in
deep thought"
Oh, great head! Oh, momentous
mystic ride! What a fight was that
fought by the judge as his gallant
steed bore him over hill and through
valley Doubtless the little birds
chirped needless of the great national
drama that was being enacted, and
certainly the sun climbed steadily TO
the zenith unconscious that fate hung
in the balance. The details of the IT,
tanic struggle, the world, alas-not
even the New York World"-will
never know. unless indeed his honor
turns epic poet.
The next heard Of the Judge was
when he rode up TO the railroad sta
ton at Esopus and in a thrilling, pull
sating tone asked for kilograms. He
was still looking for light, for it is
written:
He waited about the station, al
most irresoIute in bearing. for fully
ten minutes, and then suddenly gal
loped toward Rosemont."
The great thought had flashed
across the quivering legal cerebrum
that IF he remained silent he would
simply make irrefutable the charge
that Bryan had time and time again
reiterated. namely, that he had by his
silence tricked the party, that he had
obtained the nomination under false
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Kept Him Awake O. Nights.

Accompanied by a carefully drawn
diagram. comes the following letter from
Bruce II. B.. who takes the same view
as HI Spy, only he goes more fully into
the Illustration. II is evident that tbs
writer is one Of those he mentions
whose sleep has been disturbed by this
pesiy problem of A. d. P.'s.
To the Squirrel Editor of Thr Times:
/ have solved your squirrel prob
lem by both algebra and geometry,
and have argued with my friends on
both solutions. being unable 10 con-
vince any who took the opposite
side ] finally used a diagram of the
old-time and well-known flying jimmy
that we have all either made or rid
den on in the days OF our happy
youth, when such questions as How
old is Ann?" and the Hunter and the
Squirrel never troubled US or kept
us awake half the night chasing the
will-o'- the-wisp solutions. This ma
chine consists OF a long board Sc
curely fastened In It's center, by an
iron pin, TO an upright post planted
IN the ground and on which IL re-
wolves. The solution of the prob
lem becomes apparent when you ana
lyZe the operation and note the fact
that this machine is Identical with
that in your hunter and squirrel
problem.
To simplify the problem we will
assume that the squirrel is at
point on the tree near the ground
or at about the same horizontal
plane with the hunter. Let the board
IN the flying jenny be represented in
the problem by an imaginary line
with the hunter at one end and the
squirrel at the other. the axis around
which this line TevOlves being the
center of the tree and corresponding
TO the iron pin in the flying Jenny
Now II the flying jenny in this case
be so constructed as TO balance with
a large boy on one end and much
lighter one on the other, the post
on which the board revolves would
be under "a point close 10 one emu
of the board. and when the poarc
Is revolved two concentrtc circles
are described with the end occupied
bv the lighter Doy tracing the larger
circle. In this case IL Is clear that
while the circle around which the
lighter boy moves incloses the
smaller circle and goes around the
post IL is also clear that the hShter
boy does nSt so around the heaVler
boy, as this would involve the rathcr
startling conclusion that one end or
n straight board goes around the
other. Suppose the hunter 10 occupy
the same relative position on the
imaginary line that the lighter boy
does on the board. with the squlrrei
at the opposite end or the Inc anu
when the terms of the problem are
ca--fad ont bv the hunter going
around the tree. it becomes clear
that he does not go around the SPUR
rel. =, - -,
,bia Dan4r 70 rubbish the inclosed
diagram I think the Squirrel Editor
will be out looking for a job, as
have convinced all TO whom ! have
shown IL.
Very respectfully, yours.
BRUCE II. b.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
The Hunter and the Moon.

Even Dan1 Boone is inteRsted in the
pTOblem-doubtless because. while alive
he killed numerous squirrels under sim
liar circumstances. He brings in the
moon as an analogy:
To the Squirrel Editor of The Times:
The disagreement in relation 10
your squirrel puzzle" Is lOoseness.
not of language. but OF thought.
| know all about this squirrel busi-
ness. l have seen two squirrels on
the same tree at the same time-one
would hide from the hunter. and the
other sit still Some of your people
seem TO think that IL the hunter
walked around the tree, he would go
around one squirrel. but not around
the other. Going around does not
necessarily imply that the hunter
must see both the back and the belly
of the squirrel. The moon goes around
the earth. but we never saw its back
which is your problem reversed.
Now, suppose the revolutions Of the
earth were such that the same face
would always face the mOon-that
would be your proposition exactly.
Do some Of your people still think
that the moon would not go around
every spot Of the earth?
DAN'L BOONE
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Goes Around HIMSELF

BY means of a chain Of reasoning
which sounds logical. &c. s. l." says
mo" in answer TO the problem. He pro-
ceeds to demonstrate that. from MS
standpoint. If the hunter goes around
the squirrel. he also goes around him
self. He also brings in the wheel Illus
tratior, though he stops at the end Of
the spoke. instead of taking a point on
the opposite side of the hub
To the Squirrel Editor Of The Times:
TO relieve your mind OF all anxiety
want 10 say that a. J. C" is cor
rect IN his solution Of that perplexing
problem. 1t is simply a question Of
what is meant by going around a
thing. ITO encompass II on all Sides
seems 10 me 10 be the accepted
meaning.
Suppose, now. that by some strange
hypnotism the hunter was able 20
rest the -nuzzle OF his gun against
the tip Of the squirrels nose as they
went around the tree. maintaining
always the seine relative position. IL
the hunter went around the squirrel
then he went around the muzzle Of
his gun; then he must have gone
around the stock of the gun. and.
since the relative positions were al
ways the same with regard 10 him
self, the gun. and the squirrel, he
must have gone around himself ISvi-
IDENTIFY this is simply a reductio ad
absurdum.
Take another instance-that Of the
wagon wheel The outer and inner
ends OF a spoke maintain the same
relative poSition as the hunter and
squirrel. excepting that the hub Is
not between The two points. Surely.
the outer end Of the spoke never
goes around the IL ser end. in the ac-
cepted meaning of that term. unless
the wheel happens 10 be on an ash
cart. G. S. L.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Preserving the Woods.

The State of Maine seems to have
awakened 10 the danger of losing her
large forest lands entirely unless
something is done about their protec-
ton, and a movement is on foot
which will probably result in legisla-
ton on the subject It is to be hoped
that other States in which large
tracts of woodland are situated will
take similar steps before they are
forced 70 do so.
We do not, perhaps, give due
weight 20 the Importance of our vast
natural resources in our development
as a nation. Nothing is more certain
that without the extraordinary ad-
vantages of great forest tracts and
large bodies of fresh water, 10 say
nothing of a fortunate geographical
position, the United States would not
have occupied the position of world
power today. We have been enabled
through the possession Of these adj
vantages 20 discount the question of
mere livelihood. with more ease and
profit than any other developing ma
ton ever did. The great unused re-
sources of the soil have for the great
er part of our history made IL easy
indeed for the majority of the people
10 get a living. And it must be said
that for a people who owe so much
to nature we have been most migrate
ful.
Obviously we cannot go on forever
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

taking the goods the gods provide
and never returning anything; they
will get tired of giving. At the pres
ent stage of civilization it would be
comparatively easy 10 preserve the
woodlands and keep the rich farm
ing lands from being run out, by de-
cent amount of care intelligently
given; a generation hence it will not
be so easy, and our descendants will
be matchmaking our lack of fore
sight
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Hunter Must Climb Tree.

To the Squirrel Editor of The Times.
No: not at all did the hunter go
around the squirrel if the squirrel
was above the hunters head. Say,
for an instance. can a man stand on
the ground and walk around the top
of the monument? Say no. but ne
can go around any moving object
that is moving I'm the same direction
on the inside which is parallel with
mis- body on the outside. or TO the
outside. The hunter walks around
the tree under the squirrel, ] would
say. JOHN VENABLE.
Brickhaven. Va. July Il
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
MILLIONAIRE FINDS
PEARLS WHILE FISHING

LOCK HAVEN. Pa, July 13.-Barton
Pardee. of this city. has just returned
from a fishing trip in the wilds Of
Canada. and Is at least $500 better of
than when he started
Pardee and his brother were two Of
a party THAI sought recreation and sport
at n noted fishing resort on the Canadian
shore. and they had with them as guide
Frenchman. One day when the bass
and lake trout failed to respond to the
fly" Pardee decided to try his luck
hunting for mussels, a fresh water she'll
fish. similar TO the clam, in hopes Of
finding a pearl
Upon opening the lot he found I'm the
seventh one pearl OF rare beauty IL
is about the size Of a pea. and its esti-
mated value is at least $500. Mr.. Par
dee would not part with his treasure
for double that amount, as he IS not In
need of the money, being already reck-
OF ID n millionaire.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Such a Headachei

Here's another who has been losing
sleep. and whose answer carries with II
a suggestion of much consumption of
candles and midnight oil. His advice TO
the editor is not 10 grab bull by the
tail. as he may find It hard TO let go.
When IL is all over he seems TO find a
grizzly bear about as desirable an OBJ
iect Of pursuit as A. d. P-'s squirrel.
and the editor Is glad to take his hint
to cut AMI run.
To the Squirrel Editor of The Times:
Tackle a grizzly bear. Mr.. Editor,
and when he stands up and faces
YOU. begin TO circle around him. He
faces YOU all the time. but still you
eucircie him several times before you
get a chance to stop something that
YOU better not have started-iike this
problem CAROLUS HENRlCCS.
1851 New Jersey Avenue y. w.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
GRIDIRoN CLUB RETURNS.

With enthusiastic comment on the
courtesy of the Southern Railroad.
whose guests they were. the Gridiron
Club came home this morning.
The party which went to st. Louis to
attend the convention. consisted mainly
of Washington correspondents of daily
Papers They travelled as the guests of
the Southern. in a special train of par
lor cars, and were accompanied by Gen.
eral Traffic Manager s. H. Hardwick
General Passenger Agent w. H. Tayloe.
and Assistant General Passenger Agent
Benscoter, of that railroad.
The party left LAKE. Toxaway. in the
Sapphire country" where they spent
two days. yesterday afternoon. reaching
here at 10 O'Clock this morning.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
GERMAN BANKERS READY
TO ADVANCE TO RUSSIA

BERLIN, July 13-The ''Neueste
Nachrichten" says that Russia has ar
ranged with prominent German bankers
for a loan of go. 100000 marks at per
cont " is believed that the mission
OF NJ Nitte, president OF the Russian
ministerial council, partly is 10 secure
Csermanys acquiescence IN the loan, II
being possible far the government TO
place obstacles in the way OF the trans
action by raising technical objections.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
The Meat Strike.

The quick result of the strike of
$4,000 employees of the beef trust"
is the raising of a great hue and cry
about a threatened famine. Prices
for meat Immediately scared in New
York and elsewhere. Predictions are
made that an advance of 3 cents a
pound may be looked for any time
While the strike is a serious propo-
sition, there is no gain in dying of
dread before the pinch of necessity
is felt. AS matter of fact, a cessa-
ton of meat diet probably would do
the country no great harm, while it
might do the beef trust" a whole lot
of good. Nobody is likely to starve
this season of year while the farmers
garden sass" continues to come into
the market with reasonable regulari-
ty. Even the great American public
is capable of learning, if the financial
inducement be sufficient, that little
meat goes a long way in the good old
summer time.
ness of this strike depends upon
which side he believes. The employ
ers say that the union made an un-
warranted demand for an advance in
wages. and declined to arbitrate. If
that be true, the fault is a grievous
one. No wise man with a righteous
cause-one in the business of which
he honestly believes-refuses to arbi-
trate.
President Michael Donnelly, the
strike leader, declares, however, that
the union is not fighting for an in
crease of wages, but against a reduc-
ton OF l cent an hour in the wages of
uskilled laborers. The union claims
that the offer of arbitration was not
made until after the strike order had
been issued. The union contention
is, furthermore. that the employees
have in reality been forced into the
strike by the trust, which plans to
squeeze the market and put its es-
adjustments on a non-union basis.
Be that as it may, the immediate
result of the strike has been the reali-
zation of enormous profits by the
quick rise in prices. The exact amount
of beef on hand in Chicago is a mys-
terry. A weeks supply is regarded as
normal, but the packers assert that
the present supply will last less than
that. Many employees declare that the
packers have two weeks supply, while
the Chicago Board of Trade harbors
much gossip to the effect that, like
Joseph in Egypt, the packers have
been busy filing their storehouses all
over the country.
One thing the public will find hard
TO comprehend is why ]. Ogden Ar
mour, speaking for the beef trust"
should say: Trade conditions and
business did not warrant US in pay
ing the wages Of the boom times to
laborers." The public knows what it
pays for beef 1t knows that the
prices for stock on the hoof are not
such as to make the ranchmen highly
jubilant. It knows that the retail
butcher is not making anything great
of a living. What it does not know
is how much percentage Of profit ].
Ogden Armour and his companions
deem essential in order TO establish
boon times" according TO their de-
finitiOn Of boom.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Not a Rubherneck.

"A. c" takes around" to mean "on
all sides Of After using the iIlustra-
tion Of the Flying Dutchman. he draws
the conclusion that the hunter does not
go around the graytaii. because he new
er sees his back. HIS letter concludes:
ii the hunter possessed omniprcs-
ence, or was able TO stretch himself
ike rubber string so as 10 be az all
points of the circle at one and the
same time, then he certainly would
be able 10 surround the squirrel, but
his inability TO do this elastic stunt
establishes his limitations. Happy
squirrel. A c.
North Carolina Avenue.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Sure, Mikei

Here is one Of the 'winners"-one O
those whose idea coincides with IN
quoted expression from the STANDARD
Dictionary" The illustration used serve:
TO make the proposition clearer. 100.
To the Squirrel Editor of The Tines:
Suppose a man stood holding n
shield between himself and an en-
envy. who completely walks around
him trying to get shot Is II not
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
DEMOCRATIC ISSUE.

This is the way that McLandburgl
Wilson expresses Il in the New Yorl
Sum"
Said the Democratic Gold Plank.
In the watches of the night,
I'm the hole inside the doughnut
II you think it out Alright.
For you surely can't deny ii
When you get right down TO biz,
It's the presence OF my absence
Makes the platform what IL is
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
MINISTER COMBES UPHELD
BY VOTE OF 1874 TO 154

PARIS, July 13-The government has
weathered the storm aroused by the
Chartreux affair. and Prime Minister
Combes has been eXonerated. The
chamber of deputies today by vote of
334 to l54 set aside the investigation
committees adverse report and adopted
a resolution declaring that no suspicion
attaches to the prime minister or gov
eminent because OF the scandal
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
ANGLO GERMAN AGREEMENT
FOR LIMITED ARBITRATION

LONDON, July 13.-An arbitration
agreement has been signed by Great
Britain ard Germany providing for the
settlement of differences of a legal ma
ture or differences relating to the in
terpretation of existing treaties 1t is
Identical with the agreements Great
Britain has lately signed With France.
Italy and Spain.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

The veterans of the 122d New York are
to be congratulated upon the culmina-
ton, In the unwilling yesterday in
Battle Ground Cemetery OF a handsome
granite monument. OF a long entertained
patriotic purpose. The repulse of Gen
eral Early at Fort Stevens was doubly
memorable. Washington was saved
from being even temporarily under
Confederate control. and President Lin
coin was under fire during the engage
ment. The enterprise of the 122d New
York should prove an inspiration to
other veterans OF the Sixth Army
COrps
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
IT'S SETTLED! HUNTER DID GO AROUND.
DICTIONARY RULES ON THE PROBLEM
Official Answer to the Puzzled Ones Who Have
Chased the Squirrel Around the Tree.

to d
Squirrel @
the agony $ s h rnay.
And right here let him admit that him DO
Fave
10 h,neff 10
uhorty o
IN
problem
compiled
maker
the
squirrel
TO
competent authority on the
ne
haveb
ed o oro~:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

Those who are rhyming Fairbanks
with Nancy Hanks" can be excused
neither on grounds Of rhyme nor reason.
There IS nothing even historically fast
about Senator Fairbanks
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Work and Play.

Work and Play.
Here is an answer with the solution
presented both by grown up" geometry
and child's play If the "Old Man" in
Hi Spy" cannot run around the tree
fast enough, he is still 1T" Upon the
same hypothesis. thinks the writer, the
hunter Is it for keeps. Hi Spy
thinks he has put the same idea in dli
ferent dress when ne brings geometry
and rigid beam into play How does
it strike you?
To the Squirrel Editor of The Times:
/ wonder how many OF the soivers
OF your interesting man and squirrel
problem. who sent in geometricaliy
constructed solutions, ever played hi
spy ! haze and can most emphat-
ically aver that as long as | kept q
tree between myself and the old
man, preventing him from going
around me. was not caught and h.
remained 1T"
SO much for a natural solution.
Now for the scientific. Take the plan
as you illustrate BY the conditions
presented IN the problem the squirrel
always keeps the tree between him
self and the man. hence they are al
ways Numerically opposite each
other. This being the case, they can
be regarded as being at extremes Of
a rigid beam pivoted on the center OF
the tree. Consequently one reyolu-
ton OF this beam will carry its ex-
trene through circles of unequal cir
conferences in the same time. The
end travelling through the larger cir
conference will pass around the
point occupied oy the end travelling
through the smaller circumference,
but II can never go around that end
because the ends OF the beam always
retain the same relative positions 81
any time a. point OF revolution.
HI SPY.
Washington Grove. Nd.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

If Judge Parker intends 10 have il IN
derstOod that he would rather be right
than President, 1t is just as we'll 10
reflect that he stands no great chance
OF being botn. anyway.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

To hear them talk about Judge
Parker's heroism one would think that
he had personally fought and slain the
Tammany tiger. The real hero of that
combat Is still uncrowned
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

The hero OF the Merrimac loses some
Of his heroic looks every time he comes
before the public. He will not have
enough reputation left TO secure a monu-
ment 10 his memory II he does not re-
tire
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

Dr. Reyburn IS again trying to secure
suffrage for the people of the District.
There is generally a Sisyplius rolling his
stone uphill somewhere in Washington.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

The Bible says that word I'm due
season Is Ike apples OF gold In pictures
OF silver. The Parker people are think
ing Of having revised version printed
in which the apples will be unframed.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
Points in Paragraphs.

The japanese will now resume their
position on the front page. and con-
tinue TO wallop the Russians.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13
palTrERs IN CONVENTION.

SsSs.s ga. n. Y July 12.-The New
Yorl, State Masters House Painters am
Decorators Association has begun ia
nineteenth annual convention here.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

The Prohibitionists had. it is said,
been pushing their principles in the
Philippines. with reasonable success, un-
I'll the rainy season began. There was
too much water outside for anybody
to be eager for interior applications.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

It IS recalled that the Erie Railroad
on which the recent horrible accident
occurred, was one of the railroads
wrecked by Fisk and Gould, and has
never recovered from that experience.
The evil that men do lives after them
which is one more reason for behaving
ones self properly.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

Senator EIkins says that the Demo-
Gratis should have put father-in-Iaw
Davis first on their ticket instead of
second. Most folks regarded the West
Virginia family situation quite embar-
RAISING enough as II now stands.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

evident that the former mas been ci--
cled completely. although always
covered? Sure Nike
L. r. VOTING.
I'LL Thirteenth Street northwest.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

Senior Ricardo Borghetu. attache OF
the italian embassy. has gone to Allan
tic City, and has apartments at the
Chelsea.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-07-13

Wilson Green and Munroe Elliott went
to Leesburg. Va, yesterday afternoon.
where they win spend the rest of .he
summer, at the country home Of Mrs.
+. H Green.