The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-08-25
He Had His Coat Off and His Fee
Upon the Window Sill.

IT am sorry to have troubled you, but
man handling millions may be excus-
ed for forgetting dollars
The collector slapped his leg this time
as he roared out, and the major looked
at him in a puzzling way and did some
thinking before observing:
Il am just now organizing a company
in which 1 hope to interest every den
fist in the land and induce most of
them to take stock. 1t is called The
Great American Tooth Transplanting
company, with a capital of So, 900, 900. 1
will personally guarantee a dividend of
10 per cent on the stock from the be-
ginning
You will call tomorrow giggIed
the collector.
Yes
And pay the bil?"
Don't, major, don't," he said as he
stood up to laugh "That is, don't get
off any more funny jokes for my bene-
fit. had four ribs broken a few weeks
ago, and if you get me to laughing real
hard 1 may damage myself
while single teeth have been sue
cessfully transDlanted for the last 80
years continued the major as he
flushed up, there has been no at
tempt at anything like a new set. BY
my new process the mouth can be re-
filled, and by teeth which will endure
for a lifetime. They are made from
a mineral substance discovered in
Brazil, and can hardly be broken with
The collector pulled a cigar from
his pocket and lighted it and turned
his back on the major.
by my method of transplanting
there is not the slightest pain. The
patient thinks he is chewing caramels
or gum drops. At the end of half an
hour he has a complete new set, and
a day later he can crack walnuts in
his jaws. 1 estimate that we shall do
a business of SIS, 100000 a year. 1
am just writing to all the leading
actresses now, offering thine a dis
count if they will use our teeth and
recommend them"
That's good-that's very good"
laughed the man without turning
around.
1--WE want a smart man as agent for
England, and will guarantee him a
salary of $4,000 a year. If we could
1 have no doubt that we could ar !
range an interview with King Edward |
and sell him new outfit. 1 suppose
you could furnish recommends? 2"
"Oh, yes-oh, yes!' almost shouted
the man, as he slapped his leg and |
gurgled until his face was as red as
paint.
You will please excuse me, sir"
said the major as he stiffly drew him
self up, but am to take it that you
came here to insult me?"
"Of course not But you are so
funny, you know"
dentist that I will call in a day or two
and settle this bill. I could give you /
a check for it now, but-but-"
But that would make me laugh
hal hal ha!''
"Sir, have business that calls me
out for an hour"
IAN right, major-go on
"And you-you-2"
''I will sit here and wait for you"
The grand promoter was in hole,
put after thinking for a moment he
put on mis- hat and walked out and
-ook stroll around three or four
blocks. When he had used up half an
hour he returned to his office to find
he collector still there and still smok-
ng. He had found an old pamphlet on
Christian Science and was Industrious
Y reading it, but he laid it down as
lis debtor walked in. and good
said:
Didn't hurry on my account, did
you? You've got all day-all the week
before you, you know
IF you wouldn't care to take the
English agency of the Tooth Company"
aid the major after walking back and
orth for a while, chow would you like
3uttonless Night Shirt Company? IT
S a shirt which is absolutely button
ess, as it's name implies, and we have
,rderS for over ], 900 900 already on our
books. The sleeves never turn wrong
ide out when you pull it over your
lead in a hurry and there are no
wrinkles to get under your back and
,roduce nightmare. Made of the finest
and"
Don't start me to laughing again,
MAJOR" interrupted the collector.
"Sir, you have come here to collect
. bill of ST. s
Yes
And I told you would call on the I
enlist and leave the amount?" /
Yes
Then what more is there to be !
aid?" /
Nothing major. Let US make our {
elves comfortable. It's a not day and t
his is cool place. What do you thin. t
f transmigration?'' S
The grand promoter took another s
Talk- This time he walked further and ]
ook free lunch besides, and, it was c