The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-03-10
Reasoning With a Woman.


you always want to know why"
complained, following down the church
steps in the treacherous trail of Pollys
ruffles-
"Of course I do exclaimed Polly en-
phatically.
And yet you won't listen to reason
I argued.
Not when there can't by any reason,
Mr.. Heavyfeather," said Polly severely
turning to gather her ruffles up daint-
lily into a bunch.
IF had lied began, plotting
her carefully through the mud on the
tips OF her patent leather toes.
Il would have despised you, Mr.
Heavyfeather.'
And now that I haven't lied
IT don't believe you!"
I struck at passing dog viciously
with my cane.
That's just the way with a woman!"
I declared. There is no use trying to
reason with her. She always makes
up her mind in advance, anyhow
She has eyes-and common sense,
Mr.. Heavyfeather."
And you can't get a word in edge
Not If you don't know what you
want to say"
"And she interrupts just as you are
getting started"
"Oh, were you getting startled?" Polly
lifted her eyebrows in gentle surprise.
And twists every word you say l
grumbled.
you are very much mistaken de-
clared Polly, quickening her step, so
that felt as though ought to run and
head her off; "a woman is always Will
ing to listen to reason, even when II
isn't reasonable. or to an excuse that
isn't even excusable- What she is dy-
ing to hear is something the least hit
convincing and rational that will clear
the man whom she loves of having
1, inc T-rxr,cr
Il haven't done anything wrong' 1
grumbled defantly.
But" went on Polly. ignoring my
expostulation, there never was man
living who knew how to argue with a
woman!"
The average man hates an argu-
ment,'' asserted.
And invariably" agreed Polly,
''either tries to slip out of 1t or to
bully the woman into submission with
swear-words instead of explanations.
If he doesn't tell a falsehOod, he is
sure to say the wrong thing. Just when
a wonan's heart is aching for balm
he gives her pepper or chilli sauce. Just
when he should confess all and ask to
be forgiven and appeal to her sympa-
thy, he gets up on the defensive and
stands there like Marc Antony daring
the Romans to come on Just Whan
he should be warm and gentle and for
get and forgive, and all that, he hunts
out his dignity and wraps himself in it
until he is about as approachable as an
Indian war chief or-or a cannibal--'
The cannibaIs," interrupted,
Seemed to be the only men who ever
did know how to argue with a woman
effectively. They used a club, believe,
and settled the dispute with single
blow"
ooh, WELL" said Polly, that was ali
right in those days. They didn't have
any divorce courts to help them settle
things further, you know"
-aHn Cd hn
boxes of candy and punches of violets
and scented note paper and messenger
boys They had to come right up to
the situation and face it themselves
without the florist and the United States
mail to help them out
Polly glanced at me sideways, wither-
ingly.
"A girl" she remarked coolly, "who
would consider q box of candy an argu-
ment, is not-worth the price of the
argument"
"Oh, I didn't mean" said I, depre-
catingly, that any woman worth buy
ing could be bought over. only meant
that women are like babies. Remove
the cause of their unhappiness, be it a
" bent pin-or another woman-and then
give them something pretty and attrac-
tive-candy or fiattery-to distract
them, and they forget The best way
to reason with a woman is not to argue
with her. Don't try to prove to heI
that two and two make four; just
agree with her that they make hVe OF
seventeen, and then tell her how pretty
she looks when she's angry, or how
much you wanted to see her when you
had to go to dinner with the other wo-
man, or how much you love her"
''That," said Polly. lis another mas
culine method of convincing 9, woman
why is it a man never seems to want
TO tell why he did a thing?"
because" I replied, usually he does
not know why he did 1t. Besides, yoJ
can't tell a woman that you broke YOU
promise to her because another woman
looked particularly pretty
IT suppose not" said Polly, 'or tina
Won went to the races to gamble. be
cause you'd already been losing a
cards and wanted to win it back"
cor why you took a dark-haired CIR
to dine when your sweetheart is
fluffy blonde.
cor how actresses with pink Chin
can possibly have an attraction TO
you"
,,srne instead of tea"
ssOr to be driving in another wo
mans Dhaeton.
man doesn't know why he does any 0