The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-05-29


alziniolewenoah, but / turned the tables
on a hilarious crowd of Britishers to-day
by quoting from their own postoffice di-
rectoIy some names compared with
which that OF David looks like mere
play On vocables and consonants.
Uncle Sans new Postmaster sports 70
letters in his signature. / tried TO count
those. in the following name of a Welsh
village hall a dozen times, but gave up
in despair This is the way it looks in
print
Llanfairpwllgwyngi lnghlfgo gerhchwyr-
observation-disclosures
In the Queens English that means
eChureh of St. Mary. situate in the foi-
low. Of the white hazelnut, near the v.ld
cataract and holy DisiIio in the neigh
borhood of the red cavern but how the
name is pronounced in the vernacular
only the Lord and the Welsh people
know. Other British subjects steer
clear of it unless an attack of lockjaw
makes excessive use of vocal arrange
ments necessary. Needless to say the
British Postmaster General had to con-
sent TO accept letters under an abbrevi-
ated address LAMAR will do, if you
have friends IN the place.
One patriotic Britisher, harping or
the above fact, insisted that Welsh and
Scotch names did not count anyhow,
inasnuch as they were "the devils own
work Quoth the learned gentleman:
when all the people of the earth had
acquired their language the devil pro-
cured the vocabularies of them all and
put them in a big pot. He stewed them
well over sizzling fire and finally coli
iected the scum at the top and distribut-
ed 1t over Wales and Scotland. That IS
the way these unfortunate countries got
their language so badly mixed" Scot
land certainly owns some names long
envy of Uncle Sans new Postmaster.
Here. follows that of a<village on the
Island of Null. Argyleshire, Scotland.
Observation-Disclosures"
To discover the meaning your CORE
spondent was unable at this writing, but
the place is down in the postal guide,
sure enough. The discussion brought
up the subject of proper names, and
there being learned company some in
teresiing and not few humorous facts
developed.
Nowadays Spaniards indulge in the
longest personal names, though small
fry German royalty runs them a close
second. A story was told of q Spanish
qrandee travelling in England, who, flav-
ing lost his way, late in the night, knock
ed at the door of an inn, asking lodg-
ing.
The inrkeeper came, and without open
ing the door asked "Who is there and
what do you want -
Duke Of - and the Spaniard rolled
off title of 90 syllables, for he happen
ed to speak English well.
Sorry, replied the innkeeper, with
drawing. 4 haven't got room for so
many folks He went to bed again,
while the proud Hidalgo sorrowfully
started for the next town.
The list of officsllolders in the Span
ish Ministry of Finance carries copyist
with a most imposing name. The man
would think himself in heaven, reckon,
If he received as many dollars per month
as he has letters in his signature to wit:
Don Juan NepomucendQ-de- Buriora
gonlalosarelaza-G lazvecla
A Spaniard in the party explained.
Don .Tuar, he said, IS a grandee, and ac-
cording to custom includes in his name
every village and palace which his family
may have owned during the last FIVE or
ten centuries After this we can well
understand that once upon time
Spanish Ambassador refused to dine
with an Englishn1an named John Cuts.
John, happening to be one of Queen
Elizabethss most opulent subjects, BessI
appointed him tt, lodge the representative
of the King of Spain, during his visit in
England, and to make him welcome at
his great house But the Ambassador
objected. thinking himself 1ssparaged by
the siloTtness of his hosts name, and
when Elizabeth insisted he replied he
could not imagine that man, bearing a
name could ever, in the
great alphabet of civil life. have perform
ed anything great or honorable enough
to entit1e him 10 the dignity of playing
host to a Spanish noble.
IF Elizabeth had a short-named friend,
those of the Protector INDUCED in appel
lafions of predigious length. Praisegod
Barebones. he of Barebones Parliament,
was an exception, but he had two rela-
tives who might have been brothers OF
Uncle Sans Postmaster The younger
of the two got off quite well with
@Christeameinto theworldtosave," but the
older had name so foflg that those
shortening it unconsciously laid them
selves open to. charge of profanity. He
was yclept Observation-Disclosures
beendanlned Quite naturally this sol |
der was called Damned by his fellows !
Conforming with the tendencies of the |
times book titles were both long and GU
rious ufsder Cromwell. Here are some |
furnished by my learned friend:
Shot aimed at the Devils Headquar-
ters Through the Tube of the Cannon of |
The Covenant.
Spiritual Milk for Babes. Drawn Out |
81 the Breasts of Both Testaments for |
Your Souls NourisElment"
"a Spiritual Mustard Pot to Make the |
Soul Sreeze with Devotion"
Tobacco Battered. and Pipes Shatter- |
ID About Their Ears That Idolize SO
r 4 -,111 - Hot