davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
WHIMS OF CIGAR SMOKERS

(IT HIS may be a good cigar said
man as ne pulled at 1t.
standing for a moment 10
warm himself in the shop. But l don't
seem to relish IL Guess my stomach's a
trifle of Buckwheats for breakfast
don't agree with me-
That's just the way it is" remarked
the philosophic tobaccOnist- About 200
persons come into this store every day;
some OF them spend $40 week with me
for cigars and others don't spend s.
lose a certain amount Of this trade every
week. not because keep inferior goods.
but when smokers get bit out of condi-
ton and the cigars don't taste as good
as usual they will blame the cigars, and
of they go to another shop
But it works about the same way
with all My dissatisfied customers go
to some other mans store and other
mems dissatisfied customers come 10 me-
So il evens up IN the end. Out OF every
ten strangers who drop in here for the
first time TO buy a cigar l know by eX-
perience that I can count on one or two
of them becoming regulars"
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
wouldn't say Bad Words.

There is a little colored fellow il the
town who has a taste for oratOry, and
who. if he lives, may yet expand into
Frederick Douglass. His name is
Charles Sumner Smith. He is E0w just
three years old, and resides with his
mother. who is domestic IN the en-
ploy of a very piOus family. The boys
OF the family are very active IN their
encouragement of this little fellow in
his Ciceronian attempts at speech
making. Recently one Of them was Civ
ing him a lesson in reeiting from Ham
let" He was instructinE the youngster
10 repeat from the speech Of the melan-
choly prince when first he beheld the
ghost OF his father.
Thus he began: Angels and ministers
of grace defend us That was easy.
and Charles Sumner repeated It cor
rectly.
BE thou a spirit of health. voiced the
tutor, and the pupil got over that all
right.
"Or goblin damned2" prompted his
teacher. but the pupil baked Cant
say that said the pupil
why not?" asked the instructor in
oratory.
That's a bad word" said the boy;
and all the argument and persuasion
that could be advanced would not avail
TO make him forget his brief but ef-
fective religious training.
The Washington times., 1904-01-03

been an active member in every COM
mercial telegraph organization since
lsSS. and was at one time secretary of
the Oleander Lodge, o. c. T, at Cal
weston. Tex. when that organization
existed some twelve years ago.
For the past three years Mr.. Russell
has been with the Associated Press in
this city, having previously been con-
nected with the Postal Telegraph Com
pany here for several years.
Nr. Russell was one of the first in
the field when the Washington local,
one Of the strongest in the country. was
organized As a debater, he has few
equals, and he is gifted with the happy
faculty Of gracionsly accepting defeat
for any measure he advocates. and is
always found on the right side of the
question either first or last Loyal to
his friends, he is magnanimous to those
who oppose him on any question in
which the organization's interests are
at stake
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
NEW NUMBER GAME

THERE is a whole hour Of delight
full nonsense in the new riddles
i found on the Arabic numerals
an hour Of that nonsense. which, ac-
cording to the old verse. is now and
then relished by the best of men, By
using the full list the riddles may be
made the nucleus Of a very attractive
evening sociable. Young people. par
ticularly those who are still working in
the various branches of mathematics,
are sure to be charmed with this extra
ordinary form of arithmetic And older
members Of society whose school days
are long past will enter into the prob
lens with equal zesI-
The idea of school days might be car
ried out picturesquely on the evening Of
the party by presenting TO each player
an old-fashiOned school slate. with
pencil, sponge and rag. The questions
are written on the upper half of the
slate in a clear. distinct hand. The
lower portion is left for the answers.
Prizes could be laughable affairs sug-
gestive of early scE~ol days, such as
books OF very juveDHe character. The
BOBBY might take the form of fools
cap rendered brilliant with gold and
silver paper The BOBBY winner should
De ODilReu TO wear TINS uuIluS the re-
TTlainder of the evening.
Here are a bakers dozen Of the ques-
tons to show the working plan. Those
given here can be used as they stand,
or added to. according to the discretion
of the hostess:
What number becomes even by sub
stracting one? Seven.
BY substracting two? Eleven.
What number by subtracting one be-
longs to us? -Four.
What number by adding one becomes
heavy? Weight.
What number is finished by adding
one? Done.
What number becomes frequent by
adding two? Ten. Often.
What number by subtracting one be-
comes a stronghold? Forty.
What number by the addition of one
stands alone? One. Lone.
What number by subtracting two is
gomez Twenty.
What number becomes fourteen
pounds by adding two? one. Stone.
What number reversed becomes clear
profit? Ten. Net.
What number by adding three becomes
foolish? Nine Asi-nine-
What number remains the same after
subtracting one? Two. TCw)o
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
whats N a Name y

Peoples names was the topic OF con-
yersatiOn between four OF five friends
who were enjoying a pleasant evening
together not quite a week ago. There
were couple of "logmen. as they
called themselves. for they were from
Canada. a clerk in the Treasury De
partment and two cOmpositors from the
Government Printing Office They were
talking about mutual friend whose
Christian name was IchabOd IF my
father" said one Of the party. had
given me such a name to go through
life with l never would have forgiven
him"
"Oh. I don't know" said one Of the
commercial travellers. II am acquainted
with a man IN upper Canada whose
Christian name is Judas, and a very
respectable and well-liked fellow he is.
And I know a man in northern New
York" he continued, whose Christian
name is Benedict Arnold, and there's
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
The Norsk Nightingale.

Old Mother Hubbard ban going TO cupboard
To getting poor dog n5ce bone;
Ven she ban daT. dis har euiboard ban bare.
And va can she dU den
IF Az ban dis har Old Mother Hubbard
Az tai yu Az wouldn't be hog.
Ay tenk Ay would gat me new cupboard
Or else Ay skol selling may dog.
IL Ay ban her dog, and ban hungry
Lax some tramp who having 10 rob
henhouse 10 getting him breakfast
Ay tenk ~ would jumping may yob!
Av tai yu. il ban plenty trouble
TO be kind Of a cur,
So ven Mother Hubbard ban stingy
And starving her dog, shame on her,
Watts the use Of her going 10 cupboard
Ven she know she ant got anv stuff?
Nu ban purity smart Mother Hubbard
Ay tenk VA max purity guido bluff,
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
LITTLE incident happened. on a
"A somewhat gusty morning one
L \ 'lay last week. vvhich goes to

A LITTLE incident happened. on a
"A somewhat gusty morning one
L \ .lay last week. which goes to
show how prone man generally
is to make merrv over the trifiing dis
comftues of his fellows.
About 1880 O'Clock a car was coming
down Fourteenth Street. loaded ear be-
yond what appeared TO be a proper com
plement of passengers. Not only was
the interior packed. but the rear plat
form was also crowded. Just as Il
reached one OF the cross streets below
NJ Street a puff from Old Boreas. came
along. seized the headgear Of a Young
man on the platform. and away it went
at a Lon Dillon gait for somewhere IN
the country. The owner OF the tIle
jumped after Il and began u double
quick pursuit. while all the fellows on
the platform. with a single exception.
laughed in great glec They laughed
loud and lorg. The conductor was "A
good fellow and waited a moment.
Hell get it," said one OF the crowd
that fellows sDrinter from Sprinters-
vile" Sure enough, he did get it. and
came back AID returned to the plat
form. where ne was received with a
round of applause.
The man who didn't laugh when the
incident occurred was a natty-IOoking.
oldish sort of an individual, and when
the car started again he began to de-
liver a sermon to the crowd upon the
meanness of laughing when an event
such as had just excited the mirth Of
the travellers happened.
Il always feel pity for a man who
has to make a spectacle OF himself by
running a race with his hat. said he,
and then he proceeded TO lecture the
crowd on the improperly Of indUlging
in jollity on such occasions.
The car reached another cross street.
the wintry wind got in another inning.
and away went the old fellows tile in
a Jiffy. OF course he went after il.
while the others on the platform, each
holding fast to his own hat, fairly
shrieked with laughter, and the victim,
who seemed to forget his dilemma in
his Indignation. and livid with rage,
shook his fist al the mirthfuI cOngre-
cation and shouted out: L knew there
was not a gentleman in the whole
crowd Of ye."
Which only goes to show that there
are some misfortunes which occasional
ly fasten themselves upon the human
race that never fail to stir up bursts
of hilarious merriment at the expense
of the victims
The Washington times., 1904-01-03

made the house green. the Sky scarlet.
and the roses blue
"A Dostoffice clerk was always short
in his accounts because he could not
distinguish the different colored stamps.
And a sedate Quaker has been known
TO buy a green coat for himself and a
red gown for his wife, thinking they
were both brown.
IF you see a man In the street with
a preposterous display OF colors char
itably believe him TO be one of the color
blind
Just why tie eyes of women are less
defective in the matter Of distinguish
ing colors than those of a man is one
of the things in nature that is unex-
planned The construction is the same.
yet the woman's superiority in match
ing colors has always been recognized,
even where man has had the advantage
OF long experience
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
Skagway.

Oh. We have longcd 50 long for you.
Skegway.
The welcome neWs seems scarcely true,
SkaRWay.
They say that Britain yields her claim,
She loses in the little game,
And YOU viii share our wealth and fame,
Skagway.
We look upon you as a prize,
SkagwaY-
Low, basking meath these Arctic skies.
Skagway.
Your favor we rejoice TO win,
We know your worth In precious tin;
Mere very glad 10 take YOU in,
skakNaY.
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
Balm in Gilead.

Yes, I know that she chevs gum.
Chewing. chewing,
Jaws achieving,
But I've got no kick to come.
Nary, nary.
Quite contrary.
An. / like TO see her do IL.
II she stopped I'd surely rue IL,
Cause she cannot talk, YOU know,
When her jaws are moving SO.
New York Sun.
The Washington times., 1904-01-03

= n L
Wv do. said a Washington
bartender, whose long ex-
perience i'm one of the
best patronized saloons of the city
qualities him to speak as one having au-
thority upon all questions "touohin' on
and appertainin' to" boozo;ogy, .is to
pass a law against New Year resolu-
tons. These fellows that hit it up as
hard as they can during Christmas week
before knocking off for the New Year
are the greatest nUisances on earth.
The average man who makes up his
mind TO go on the water wagon OIL
the first of the year feels that he owes
IT TO himself 10 celebrate tie occasion
by drinking all the liquor in sight during
the week before. Christmas comes but
once a year. is his war cry. and he
goes from barroom to Darroom fighting
booze for all he is worth. which. gen
orally, isn't very much. by the way.
"Good-by, Booze!"
Ills great stunt is to announce to
the assembled multitudes his intention
of swearing off on New Year Day and
sing 'GoOd-by. Booze to everybody
that will listen TO him. lie seems to
think his good resolutions will interest
the whole world, when, as a matter OF
fact. everybody is bored to death by
them. guess we've all had experiences
IN making good resolutions, and In
breaking them, too. for the matter Of
that, especially those of Us who take
one drink too many now and then. and
we know what they usually amount to
and don't care particularly to hear about
them from another fellow.
New Year Morning.
We'll. after a weeks spree the good
resolutor' turns up on the first day Of
the New Year feeling like the wrath of
God has lit upon every inch of his body.
inside and outside He probably takes
three or four 'bracers' at home to keep
him from going to pieces entirely. Then
he thinks he has sworn of
You would think his experiences of
the preceding week would keen him
from talking, but the reverse is the case.
The Washington times., 1904-01-03

w 5ss@s sa.@a ana @9ss%@@ s:aa:.e r--.'s.- : 5s:-
ton telegrapher, has been
elected secretary-treasurer of
the Commercial Telegraphers Union OF
America and has gone TO New York to
assume the duties of his Office Wash
ington operators are very proud of the
fact that one Of their number, and es-
pecially one so deserving. has been Sc
lected by the national executive board
for such an important posit. on in their
new but powerful and rapidly growing
organization.
Mr. Russell was born in Chicago. No
vember 10. 1871. He learned the tele-
graph profession in the old Chicago
Western Union office. having entered
that office as check boy in 1887, and
taking his first position at the key
about year later.
Mr.. Russell has had great deal Of
experience in the telegraph. profession.
having Travelled extensively and has
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
Studies of Greek Life.

Euclid was Dragging OF mis- accomplishments
in mathematics.
But asked his friends. can't YOU discover
some rule for proving to your wife that it is
only - O'CLOCK when it is striking 2g''
Crestfallen at his inability, the great man re-
lnpsed into moody silence.
Hippocrates was instrueting his disciples.
But" asked the bewildered students. ..how
can we make a diagnosis when we can't guess
appendicitis2'
Seeing that he plainly lived before his time.
the Father OF Medicine wept bitterly.
New York sun.
The Washington times., 1904-01-03
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

IGVI THAT Congress ought \ to
w eo,- said a washington
bartender, whose long ex-
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24
Revolution Imminent.

A sure sign Of approaching revolt
and serious trouble 10 your system is
nervousness. sleeplessness. or stomach
upsets. Electric Bitters viii quickly
dlsmembcr the troublesome causes. II
never falls to tone the stomach. regu'
late the Kidneys and Bowels, stimu
late the Liver, and clarity the blood
Run down systems benefit particular
ly and all the usual attending aches
vanish under its searching and thor
ough effectiveness. Electric Rltters il
only soc and that is returned II Il
don't give perfect satisfaction. Guar
anteed by all druggists
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

last Mr.. Mersta'l, Of the Marshall Gin
company here. discovered an unusual
sound. and uuou estigadon fonnH
that Il vas In his well which Is about
l75 feet deep. and contains about izS
feet OF water Il was learned tina,
though the ~ell had stool FOR several
months past pnniolcsted very strong
low IL gas has burst into IT, suificiont
ly strong 10 force rs wsy thioush lso
feet ~ wate' aaa n.ske name that
was eAtlneuighei only after consider
able enort A. attempt viii be made
at once TO en do~n deeper as II Is the
opinion Of experts that there lF oil 10
paylng Qua-ti'iei net FAR from 'he gas
vein.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

Music c-. c. " s. Quartettc
Piano sclo--M Miss Irma Watson.
Readiug-M Miss Florence Campbell.
Plano solo--l.iss May Melvin.
Recitation Miss Mary Guss.
Piano eolo--M'ss Nnrng Hellman.
Reading-Miss Helen Mccoy
Vocal SOLO Miss Laura Humble.
Rending- Alisi Lelah Mcpherson.
Music G. 4! S. Quartette
Each nuniher was heartily cheered
Pref Parl,tte prepared the program
during one period showing how easi
ly it is 20 get up nice entertainment
on short notice
Prof McKe,yey made the diawingi
for the brick side walks to be place.
aro' / the building and to the bulls
ing from tho south
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24
polnq The Rlqht Thing
VeIIl

The trouble begins with a tickling
m the throat and a naggiuF ht'is
cough. Soreness in the chest follows
and the patient wonders n he Is go
ing 10 have a nail winter eoid Prob
ally. II hc does the wrong thing or
nothing. Certainly not II he uses
Perry Davis Painkiller. the stapnch
old remedy that cures a cold Ia TWEEN
ty four hours There Is o'it one Pam
Killer Perry Davis.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24
L,rrlE o,sL MISSING
Started tn LswIon q week Age and
rissppesrsd.

Special to Daily Leader.
lawton, Okla Dec. "A Miss Mona
Smith OF Fletcher, a girl Of "A years
left her hofhe a week ago yesterday for
Iawton, a distance Of about fifteen
miles. She has not heen seen On heari
Of since Her parents are dead and
she has a sister in Lawton. and a
brother ia Auadarizo Hcr friends and
relatives have become alarmed a.
her disappearance and the sheriff o.
Ccmanche county has been directed e
make aa effort tc locate her.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

and study roo=a with library in the
large room in the northeast corner.
Third floor. l'rofs. MoKe.vey and Nor
ris are in the wing rooms, while the
auditorium occupies the rest Of the
floor. Janitor Knox has his office in
the room between the wing rooms.
At chapel exercises or Friday the
pupils gave the foll1wing entertain
ment.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24
WIND UP TRIBAL AFFAIRS.
Final ssttlsment Provided for In BIZ
Before House indian Committee.

Special Correspondence 70 Leader.
Ardmore, /. r. Gee 2i.-The Inter
ior department has submitted 70 The
house Indian committee the draft Of a
bill looking to the final settlement Of
The ayairs Of the five ci,ihzed tribfs
after the Dawes commission is dis
solved neyt Iu,y Tie bill is tenta-
i've. AID proyides for placing the
work Of ths commission into the hands
OF one man.
The secretary OF the interior esti
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

G.. H. S. Aae been their neighbors for
twelve months at the Central No
doubt. they felt a kirGly interest in
the school ard we're very glad It had
moved 50 the grades could have the
rooms occupied 10y it, which have
been nee led so ba ily The teachers
Of Central school and members of the
board OF education of Guthrie have
the thanks of trustees. faculty and
students Of the =. L. H. S. for many
favors during the occupancy Of their
rooms
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

mates that the appropriations required
will he 5000. # which $40 600 is to
go to Indian Agent shoenfelr the ball
ance to be expended under the direc
ton Of the secretary. The measure
will be considered by the committee
at an early date
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24
RECTOR OF ST. LukE's,
AshbVrn Ontario, Testifies to the Good
Qualities ef chamberIaln's Cough
Remedy.

Ashburnhann, Ont, April IS. 1903
think it ic only right that should
tell YOU what a wonderful effect
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy has pro
duceA The day before Easter I was
so distressed with cotd and cough
,ilat did not think 10 be ahIe 10 take
any duties the next day as my voice
was almost cholSed by the cough. The
same day I received an order from you
for a bottle Of your Cough Remedy
at once procured a sample bottle
and took about three doses Of the
medicine To my great relief the
cough and cold had completely disaD-
peared and was able to preach three
tines on Easter day ] know that
this rapid and effective cure was due
10 your Courh Remedy make this
testimonial without solicitation, be-
ing thankful to have fourd such a God
sent remedy. Respectfully yours,
"a Lsngfeldt NJ. A.
Rector Of s. Iuke's Church
This recedy is for sale By J. n
Wallace.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

The Discretion Of the faculty IN the
new bril5ing is as fo,lows First
aoor. Prof Caiu in large room in
northeas; corner Prof Ringer and
Miss Doohtle In wing rooms MISS
Bennett west side OF building; the
toilet roons are blso on west side
second aopr- Prof. Parlette and Miss
Hikes she wing uaice ard Miss
seeley on west side. Prof Mecreigh'
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

The Logan County High school NOV
ed into their new building last Non
sIay There Is plenty f room now,
even for some expansion alter the
holidays, but they are greatly in need
Of the rest of the furniture that has
not arrived froai the factories
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24
a cestIN MIatske

Blunders are sometimes very ex-
peuslve. OceasioRaliy life itself IS
IN. price Of a mistake bu youll never
be wrong II yon take Dr King's Ne"
5Afe pills for Dyspepsia. Dizziness
Headache. Liver or Bowel troubles
They are gentle yet thorough 25c. AZ
all drug stores.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

Trustees Derrick, Norris, Spencer
Brown, Herod and Miller have paid
the school ieyeral visits during the
week looking after the working OF the
school in The Aew building ana view
ing the prospective needs and neces-
saries to make the school a success.
These gentlemen have been untiring
in their efforts to have good build
ing and school This was the first Wis
It of Trustee Frank Brown. being tho
newly appointed member in place OF
Trustee Knox who resigned to become
iauitcr Of the new building. Mr. Knox
finds the duties os ianitor very heavy
work
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

The new electric clock has been in
a hurry all week and marks the day in
about ten minutes less time than the
regulators down town. It is hoped it
viii slow down little after the holi.
DAYS and take the world as SLOWLY as
other people.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

Mike Cassidy finished the grading
and leveling around lhe new building
and grounds, doing an excellent jol'
of work and -aaSing the campus east
of the building lcok quite different
from the hole" that provoked so much
discussion earlier IN the history OF the
school
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

r. dlseus's woman teyopa meas
ure 70 have men want 20 talk about
stock market panic when it Is rumored
.hat one OF hcg neigl,hoIs has de-
tective shadowlng her husband
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

Telephone counes tion was made OF.
Thursday and Miss Ethel Williamson
had the honor Of answering the first
cali.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

The students were entertained at
chapel exercises on Wednesday morn
ing by MIR Jolly. OF the Redpaths
Lecture 0ureau. He was highly pleas.
ed with the acoustic properties of the
new auditorium and promised 10 come
back during the winter If possible and
give an entertainment
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

A part Of the hooks for the new IT,
brary have begln to arrive and are
used constantly. Possibly they may
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24
0 0 0 90 0 o 0 o 0 O @ O O o 0 o
o HIGH SCHOOL NOTES. %
o Q
@ 0 0 0 0 o 0 o Q 0 o o 0 @ Q O Q

The Christmas number of the Roy
al Blue male lts appearance on Fri
day.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

Mrs Herin visited at chapel orr
Wednesday. She Is interested In the
production 4 the "Deestrict Skule" at
The Brooks oIeia house on Friday
evening. for a charitable purpose. The
proceeds toago te helping pay The hos
pital expenses Of a pupil OF the school
who was compelled 10 have an opera
tion performed and whose parents are
unable t. meet all Ct the expenses.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

The faculty presented Principal Cal
vert with a beautiful fountain pen
engraved With geld for a Christmas
present.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1904-12-24

not lie so attractive when the new
wears of.