The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1904-05-16
" AFTER saw this letter. 1t opens
III nhrllnilN,

way of curslng and to bcwail tic day
| came into your life But YOU cannot
hate me more than hate myself, my
wicked self, who seeing an obstacle in
the way to happiness, stamped 1t out
of existence and so forfeited all right
TO happiness forever
ut was so easy. Had it been hard
thing to do-had ii been necessary to
lay hand on knife or lift pistol
might have realized the act and paused.
But Just little spring which child's
hand could manageable, feeling for
it. could help pressing it, if only to
see
Il was always reckless girl, mad
for pleasure and without any thought
of consequences. When school bored
me took all my books out of my desk,
called upon my mates to do the same,
and, stacking them up into a sort of
rostrum in Il field where we played,
first delivered an Grafton from them
IN which reverence for my teachers
had small part, then tore them into
pieces aud burned them in full sight of
my admiring schoolfellows. | was dis
missed. but not with disgrace. Teach
crs and scholars bewailed my depar-
ture, not because they liked me or be-
cause Of any good they had found in
me, but because my money had thrown
lustcr on them and on the whole estab-
liShment. This was when | WAS
twelve, and il was on account of this
reckless escapade that was sent west
and kept so long from home and all
my flatterers. My guardian meant
we'll by this, but In saving me from one
ptfall he plunged me into another.
grew up without Cora and also without
any idea of the requirements of my
position or what | might anticipate
from the world when the time came
for me 10 enter it. | knew that had
money 30 did those about me-but
had little or no idea Of the amount nor
what that money would do for me
when returned TO Washington. So
in an evil day. and when ! was Just
eighteen. fell in love. or thought did,
with n man (oh, Francis. Imagine il,
now that | have seen YOU'D Of Suili-
cicnt attraction to satisfy one whose
prospects we're limited to Il contracted
b, existence in small town. but no more
a.ftcd to content me after seeing Wash
ington life than If he had lccn com
mon farm hand or the most ordinary
Of clerks In 4 country store, But | was
Young, ignorant AMI self willcl. and
thought because my check burned i'm
der his look that he was the nan Of
! men ;md suited 10 be my husband
that IS, II | thought Mt Ill, Which Is
not likely, for | was in a feverish
whirl and just followed the impulse Of
tie moment. which was to be with him
whenever | could without attracting
the teachers attention. And this, alas,
was only too often, for he was the
brother Of one of our storckeepcrs. 6
visitor In Owosso. and often in TIE
store where we girls went.
Eve would not have been married In
the way we were If he had not wanted
to go to the Klonlke for the purpose
OF making money and making II quick
IL, SO that his means might mattel
mine.
II do not know which Of us two was
most TO blame for that marriage. lii
urged it because he was going so fai
away and wanted to be sure of me-
accepted ii because ii seemed to bt
romantic and because ii pleased me t
have my own way in spite of my hare
old guardian and the teachers, Wit
were always pryins about, and th'
girls, who went silly over him-for h'
was really handsome in bis w8y-ant
who thought TAT least many OF then
did that he cared for them when b.
cared only for me
II have hated black eyes for a year
He had black eyes.
Il forgot Cora, or, rather, ! did no
let any remembrance Of her hinder me
She was a very shadowy person TO m
in those days. had not seen her sine
we were both children, and as for he
letters they were almost bore TO re
she lived such q 6ifferent life fron
mine and wrote of so many things
Ind no interest in. On my knees as
her pardon now. ! never understood
her
ut was all planned by him-l bav
no head for such things Sadie helpe
him Sadie was my fricnd-but sad
had not much 10 shy about it, for u
seemed 10 know Just how to arrang
1t all so that no one at the seminar
should know or even suspect what Ia
occurred till we got ready to tell then
He did not even take his brother int
his confidence. for Wallace kept stor
and gossiped very much with hl
customers Besides. he was very bus
Just then selling out. for he was goin
TO the Kondike with William. and 1
had too much on bis mind to be bottle
ed. or so William said. All this | mus
tell you or you will never understan
file temptation which assailcd n
when. having returned TO Washingto
l. awOke to my own position and I'll
Kind of gIeu whom ! could now h0T
tol meet. | was the wife-ch. the fol
ol'it- but this was known to 80 fey
atki those were so far removed III
oz even-lny friend Sadie-being dea
Ii,v nnt iOnora tho fniep.a bip seer