Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1904-07-22
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lister, and John asked him to Join us.
Sklnflnt-If anything should happen
to me, dearest, you will be all right.
I've just insured my life. But sup
pose nothing does happen to your
Life.
First Boarder- What's that loud
humping noise in the kitchen? Second
Boarder-lt's the landlady hammerins
the steak and wishing II was the beef
trust.
Mrs. Casey-The doethor says ye
hoy appendicitis. Tim Mr.. Casey
och, Norah. Norah, whoy wor ye SO
foolish as TO show him yure bank book?
Judge.
Jemlma-Why does dat paderoosky
McGlnnis wear his hair so longf MI
herva-Why, don't yer know dat he's
de ehampeen mouth-organ player of de
block Chicago Daily News.
"fhe reason | can't get along with
my wife is that she wants 10 submit
all our differences to arbltra ton" TO
arbitration| Yes. She always wants
to refer disputes to her mother"
Great guns" exclaimed the absent
minded man; Il Just stuck the lighted
end of this cigar In my mouth" How
fortunate you We're in discovering 1t
at once dear rejolned his good wife.
Woman is naturally OF cllnging
nature observed he YES" rejoined
his Wife, but she isn't to be compared
with man when II comes to holding
on to fye dollar bill."-New Yorker
Grinnand Barrett - What cured
Cawlboy of his desire to be trage-
dian2 Irving Henry-The open-air
treatment. He walked home from
Fon-du-Lac with the thermometer ut
zero.-Ex.
Mr.. Meddergrass-Who yer sendin'
the sheep to, Bill? Mr.. Ragweed--
Why, my son zeb's up to college tryin'
fur sheepskin, he says, and I'm goin'
ter surprise him with hull critter.-
Chicago Post
Dr. Ketchum-By Jovel These cab
companies certainly know how to
charge. His Whichever mind, DEAR
/ - iuthy iiidl Tic DItSlueDt OI lu0
company is patient OF yours
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Cobwigger-So your husband
thinks his position in society is now
secure? Mrs Newrich-Yes. He Is SO
sure about 1t that he has stopped hir-
Ing dress suit, and Is having one
made to order.-Judge.
Amateur-This Is my latest attempt
at landscape. May | ask what you
think of the perspective? Artist-Tha
perspective is its strong point. Tho
further away you stand the better II
! looks.-Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Chic-My automobile nerves
didn't cut any dash ut all at the sana-
i torium. Mrs. Chic-Why not? Mr..
/ Chic-Oh. the doctors were all wildly
enthusiastic over a man who has f1y-
/ ing-machine nerves.-Puck.
The importunate lover had just pro-
posed. LET your answer be Il vowel.
with a consonant on either side of IT,"
/ he gently begged her. The charming
girl smiled. Very we'll" she said.
4 Olls -1ltNtldHu L ldln DCdlCl
A child thrust: "You never saw my
hands as dirty as that" said mother,
reproachfully, to her little Syear-oid
girl. "'Cause | never saw you when
you were little GIRL was the prompt
answer.-Glasgow Evening Times.
I'm India BARRIERS rank high. Social
ly they are the equals OF the priests"
Say, where do poets come In over
there?" Same place they do here"
"Where's that?" Among the illastrl-
ous dead Chicago Record-Hera'd
Teacher-In the sentence, Mary
milks the cow" what is the word COW?
Johnny-Cow Is a noun, feminine gen-
der, and stands for Mary. Teacher
What NONSENSE, Why does COW stand
for Mary? Johnny-So Mary can tend
to the milking.
Van Dauber-So old Gotrox fell In
love at first sight with that impossible
Jones girl. Why, she Is perfect
freak Friend-Just so. Do you know,
old chap. It wouldn't be bad idea to
get the old boy around to look at your
pictures-Puck.
Noozy-Then you don't believe in
man marrying his deceased wife's sis.
ter? Henpeck-Well, l certainly be-
lieye that a man who would rush into
a thing like that doesn't deserve TO
have lost his first wife at all.-Phila-
delphia Ledger
Good morning. said the old gentle
man. I'D like TO look over some Of
your spectacles." Yes. SIR" replied
the clerk, absent nt-mindedly, that's
what most of our customers do. It's
lust as good as looking through them
Philadelphia Ledger.
She-Somehow women don't get
along so well as men in "a parla-
mnntarY hodY He-Of course NOT A