Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-05-14

pyer~--liow do you know he is hon
est? Duell-He declined position in
The postofiiee Departmcnt-Lif
An odd notice has been seen over "a
shop In Cairo: Il speak English and
understand American Exchange.
Just Help HIMSELF He-If tried
to kiss you would you call for help?
She Would you need it?-Smart Set.
The Fly-The moth seems very
Srouchy. The Roach-Yes; he's been
chewing the rag all day Princeton
Tiger
Naturally: $50 you reached the town
Just after the cycIone?' Yes" How
lid things look?" Rather blew
Exchange.
Has your father had cold?' "No.
indeed. lie is merely reading the Rus
stan-Japanese war news aloud
Washington Star.
Reporter Senator Bilkins has abso-
lutely nothing 10 say E,iitor-Wel.
boil II down. We are terribly crowd
al ght.-pucS
Mr.. Slpp-Young man, how dare you
swear before my wife? Boy-How
lid ! know your wife wanted 20 swear
hrst?-Chlcago Daily News.
Barker-Thls is an age of high civ
illZation. parker-Oh. don't know;
nearly everybody is discussing how
much good the RusSo-Japanese war
will DO ns.--netroit Free Press.
Practical Aunt-Do you think you
are qualified to become the wife OF
Door man. Sweet Girl-Oh, yes. it's all
liked We are to live In cottage. and
know how to make cottage pudding.
"a grcnt actor Is usually welded to
his art, Is he not?" Yes" answered
Mr.. Stormington Barns; many or
them are welded But there is great
leal of incompatiblity. Washington
Star
We'll. Robbie, you've got new lit
tie sister; she Just arrived this morn
ing" said the proud father. DO we
get any trading stamps with her, pop?'
asked little Robbie YOnkerS States
man.
Tramp--l'd like to horny a medical
almanac, mum. Housckecper What
! for Tramp wants ter see wot III
/ doctors recommend fer an empty feel
i In IN til stummick New York
Weekly.
| Employer And now that we are en-
gagged to be married, | suppose | shall
have to hire new typewriter. Type
writer Not at all dear. / shall at
tend 10 the hiring " your tyPewriters
/ after this Exchange
/ To0good Jack. have You that two
pounds lent you the other day? Hard
Ipusht-Not all OF It. old chap, hut what
| have left viii do me day or two
longer. Very kind and thoughtful of
you to inquire, though.
Going the Rounds: Miranda - ne
cepted Mr. Masheigh last night, aud
he Is going To get the engagement ring
To day, Muriel-Oh, he already has 1t.
returned to him this morning the one
he gave me. Exchange.
\ Remedy Grinder What! asleep
at your desk. and work NJ PRESSING
Meekly Excuse me. sir. baby kept ne
awake all night. Grinder Then you
should have brought 1t with you to the
office Town and Country
Just Hint: She Mamma is aw-
fully thoughtful. He~-Indeed? She
Yes indeed. Why, for instance, she
would never think OF coming into the
parl0r when / have caller without
first coughing Minneapolis Journal
The Doctors Successor. what
profession do You follow" asked at
torney for plaintiff. '"rhe medical
profession, the witness answered.
Are you pr@cticing physician" mo.
sir Then what do yoB mean by say
Ing you follow the medical profess
sion !" II am an undertaken, sir
Brooklyn Eagle.
Mister ledge" called ont the col
ored witness, after lac had been on the
stand full hour. kin say one word,
suh:' Yes" replied the Judge: what
* itt' Hits des dis. suh; ef you'n
dps make he lawyers set down en- keep
still two minutes, on gimme a lIvin'
chance. I'll whirl in en- tell de truth -
Atlanta Constitution.
Played on the riano.--Mother IRE.
turning from II shopping tour For
goodness sake. What's the matter
with little Willie? New Nurse-'Tis
a bad boomp he got, ma am Ye
know. We told me OF was to let him
play on the planny. nm onct whin he
vas sidin' on the top Of it. lie slid too
far. Ma'am.--philadelph Press.
Your children are SO well behaved"
said Mrs Bindad to Mrs. Noah. after
the Noah family had established itself
on the slopes Of Ararat How do you
compel them Ia act so nicelyt' We'll"
smiled Mrs. Noah ever since we
made that trip in the ark. all their
papa had to do is TO threaten 10 take
them 10 the next circus that comes
along il they are not good''-Iife.