davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
Como ell AyuntandgilO
de MayagQez ha..
lOnradO la meTlOria
de H0StOS.
4 Ia CaIle De M8ndoz VigO 50 Ia
denOmlnaIt ''HOstOs Street.
ProYectase tambien erigir ALI un
monumentp de bronco 8 mar
mol al ilustre patriota.

I'll Ayunsamiento de Mayagiiez ha
aprObado Ia siguiente resOIuci6n:
SPor cuanto: Una resoIuci6n pasa-
dR pOr el Concejo Municipal, en- sesi6z
de II de AgostO de 1903 aprObada
por el Alcalde. dispone que. para guar
dar dignamente Ell Fecuerdo del eximio
patricio hijo de este suelo. d. EUGE-
MO MARIA DE HOSTOS, muerto
en- la yecina Rep6blica de Santo Do
mingo ell dfa II de AgostO del mismo
sfIo. sc Gamble ell nombre de la Gale
de Mendez Vigo por ell de CALLE
DE ROSTOS.
Por cuanto: Sc aprOxima Ia fecha
que nos recuerda el fRllecimiento de
aquel ilustre patricio maya sgaezano,
gloria de America, y porque es I'm de-
Der ineludible de este MunicipiO hacer
manifestation p1blica de sus senti-
mientos pOr Ia p6rdida irreparable de
AQUEL SU HIJO PRECLARO,
Resu65yase pop ez Co,aselo Municipal.
lei dfa Ii de Agosto pr6ximo
deberan colocarse en- Ia Gale denomi-
NADIA M6ndez Vigo tres Ietreros que
digan HOS'TOS STREET, grabados
en- piedra de m6rmol; uno debera ser
colocado en- la esquina, Gale del Pc
raj, en- la casa 4desOcup8 el estableci-
mieDto de tabaquer1a de Infanz6n.
otro en- Ha casa de Ia Marina. que ocu-
pa Ell almac6n de los sefIores Blanes y
ell otro en- Ia esquina de Ia Gale de
Oriente. cerca del Puente Balboa.
2.-Que con aquella fecha Sc hsga
llegar manos de Ia familia. del inolvi-
dable HOSTOS un sentido mensaje de
recordaci6n del fatal acontecimiento.
3.-Que una Comisi6n sufciente-
mente autorizsda par ell Conceio inVi-
te q los miembrCs todos del magisterio
Y & las sociedades e instituciones So
ciales de esta Ciudad & cooperar Ia
manifestation p6blica de ese dfa por ell
aniversario de Ia muerte de HOSTOS.
4.-Que asf mismo SO nombre una
Comisi6n de este Concejo para que ini-
Gle 81 prOyecto, dirijido por este Mu-
nicipiO. de erijir un MONU MENTO
de bronco 8 de marmoI. & Ia memoria
del ilustre patriots, immortal educacio-
nista americana hijo de Mayagdez, en-
ell parque del Teatro que desde el dfa
u6D9Ea tA0V@E ~ uUnUF0 U0 Ia hGSO n
DE HOSTOS.
5.-Que Sc faculte al AIcalde para
que de Ia partida de Imprevistos sufra-
que los gastOa de Ia coIocaci6n de los
letreros todos necesarios en- Ii Gale de
HOSTOS y cualesquiera otros que
sean precisos, para solemnizar ese dfa.
Firmado: Isaac Zr5aG2Yy S0Sport.
EI Conceio Municipal. en- session or
,dinaria celebrada el dfa 26 de Julio dl-
timO, aprob6 por mayorfa de votos Ia
anterior Resolution, siendo asf mismo
aprObadR por el Hon. Alcalde con fe-
cha 80 del propi0 mes.
Y para eleVar 6 Ia sonora Viuda de
Don Eugenio Maria de Hostos, expido
la presente en- Mayagttez once de
AgostO de mil noVecientos cuatro.
LUIS M. RALDIRIS,
Secretario.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
Sc urge al psgO do GOntfIbuCIO-
nGS a COntrlbuyentos do
AdjuntaS.
AIgunos dicen que no poseen nj han
declarado nunca los blenes
sobre los cuales Sc CO.
bran tributos.
q mues5ro covesponsaz.l

Agosto 12. Ell Sub Collector de esta
viIla, ha recibido una circular del De-
partamento de Ia Tesorerfa en Ia que
SO excita al contribuyente. por ell con-
cepto de personal al pago de sus contri-
buciones por ell ejercicio de 1908 q 1904
y anteriores; cuya circular fu6 seg0i-
damsnte noti6cada q los contribuyen-
tes.
Resultando que de las investigator
nes. practicadas por el Sub Collector.
para lograr ell pago muchos de ellos,
han manifestadO no poser nj haber
declarado nunca tales bienes.
Nos proponemos dar 6 conocer, los
nombres de los contribuyentes; llaman-
do Ia atenci6n de quien corresponds.
por Greer 4 nuestr6 iuicio que SO ha in
fringido abiertamente Ia ley de Rem
tas internas con semejante prooedi-
mientO.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
COhhEsOEOlNOA
Comerfo. ARosto "A de 1904.
So V8nde en- $500 dollars.

Una fnca en- Santurce compuesta de
80 cuerdas de terreno. con un frente &
la carreUera Central de 165 metros y
atravesada por ell FerrocarrfI de cir
cunvalaci6n en- una Iougitud de mas de
300 metfOs. Tiene edifcaciones por
valor de mas de 1000 dollars , contie-
ne $50 palmas de COCO.
Informaran FortaIeza n6mero 81.
bales, bRh
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
D. JOSE I. SILVA.

El s6bado recibimos Ia vista de este
distinguido cOmpatriota, que en- breve
embarcar6 para Europa, en- donde re-
side desde hace algunos amos.
MuchO gusto tuvimos en- departir
con dicho compatriota, quien reite-
ramos Ia prOtesta de nuestra conside-
raCi6n.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
EEL CATALAN"
DE ANGELET HMNOS.
II. San Jose II

En- este acreditado ESTABLISHMENTS
de dulcerfa. SO acaban de recibir dull
ces seIectos de Italia, de las famosas
f6bricas de S. Venchi Y Ca. Morton
do y Gariglio.
Gran surtido de saquitos modernis.
tas, infnidad de santos para ramilIe-
tes. Especialidad en- caramelos del
pals. 15v.a.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15

NewYo
bris ia de Herniae
Ri
ro America p oenvom n medic
- W 0ote0s pus0 ~ no lO EAST ~ ST NFyy-YoRK
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
TABACO, De VUELTl IBIJO
CUBA.

Sc envia por correo legitima semi
lla del mejor tabaco de Cuba de Ia
Vuelta Abajo. Sc remite en- paquetes
de diferente tamahos de S1.OO & 81. 90
Dirijanse los pedidos 81 sefIor Joaquin
Planas. Prado 100 Habana Cuba.
No Sc sirve ning6n pedido cuyo
importe no este sastifechO. Referen-
Cias Coronel MaIaret AduanR doctor
Ferran Uniyersidad. 15y..a.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15

fermedades ' recomend6ndoIos & To-
especialistas. cuando era necesario, ha
biendo contestRdo al Departamento
cuando Ie ha pedido sus honorarios que
para los puertorriquefIos no cobra
NADIA.
Pablo Morales Cabrera.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
ia Correspondence" en- Yaueo.

Para vents de ejemqIares, suscrip-
Pietrantoni.
P YauCO. PtO.- Rico.
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
COmpagnie Generate TranSatIantique
tinerario de Ia lineaG7 Havre Bordeaux Haiti
v vNIDAE.
R
Precios de Pasajes.
DE SAN JUAN PR, AL IAVRE Y VICE-VERSA.

9 de 1s F. 900 3@ de- F. $50
2@ de F. 800 Entrepont F. 400
Ninos hasta AMOS gratis; hasa pasaja
haa AMOS medic pasaje; de en- adeante pasae eneo
Las famias que cOmputen pasaje de endra
rebaa de Is ps.
Sc exenden bee ida vuelta con rebaja 25 poo
Para mas por dirIirse
J. T. SILVl Banking and GOmaEeli.
(CousQnGtar5osl
La correspondencia de Puerto Rico. (San Juan, P.R.) 1890-1943, 1904-08-15
Para eI BanO de los NinOS

9t;eDE9 para las euAeFma
dsdes &c In piel, llamado
CrTfcUR.i, con los mas
pgrcs ; iimpios ingredl.
e;stcs : supcriores , frescos
perfumes N;ngun otro
ial.5n medicinal al pre-
fcnte admits la compare
cion con cate ensus cuali
dad es para preserYaf,
purifcat y hermosear 10
piei, el cuero cabelludo y
las manos; por las cuali.
dades dichas SO hace indis-
pensable su uso para los
niTius. la toilette = los
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
New York Markets.

FLoUR--Quiet, but firm: Minnesota pat ents, $5.15G5.60; winter strafghts, $595.15; winter extras, s3.6034; winter patents, s 20 @5.60.
 WHEATA-Opened barely steady on pros poets or rain in the west and disappoint- Ing cables; this weakness was followed by a further decline in sympathy with easy western markets and liquidation; May, a.0lA@1. .0sA: July, s7 9-16Q9s 5-16c.
 CORN-Vsry dull. but Inclined to follow .PoRK-steady; mess. s1ssoa1s: family,
 LARD-Easy; prime western steam,
 BUTTER-Creamery. extras, per pound. Ac.; firsts, 21@23c,: seconds, 1f020c.; thirds, U@16c.; held, extras, 195aG20c.; frsts, 16@ l9c.; seconds, 15Ql57sc.; thirds 14u1413c.; ; state dairy. tubs, firsts, 19@21e. seconds. l5@17c.; thirds 14@141hc.
 CHEESE-State, full cream. fall made. small. fancy, 12c.; choice. -lI9dlMc.; late mon to fair. sl4 G1ol4c.; fall made. large. fancy, 1ac.; choice, 11Q115ac.; late made. large good to prime, 10s4c.: common to fair, 9Ad10Ac.; light skins, choice, sc.; prime, 61s@6Ac.i. part skins, prime, sg 5c.; full skins, I5$@2c. l'-'- = - 0S fancy selected white, 22a2Sc.s average fin- est 20c.; firsts. 19c.; dirties 171sc.: checks, l6c.; duck eggs, 32Q36c.
 HAY--Quiet; shipping, S5@75c.; good to choice, S5c. .g$1 .05.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17

The fact that presidential cam palgn Is at hand is emphasized by tue appointment of that notorious pen sion puller, Corp Tanner, to one of the snuggest of federal oftices--regis- ter of wills at Washington, Tanner was, pension commissioner under Presid ent Harrison and, was forced to retire from that office. In order to make nice place for him President Roosevelt. has made the efficient and popular Register Dent consul at Dawson. in the Yukon territory. Tan ner has managed to be in office most of the time since the war, when both of his feet were shot off at the Second Bull Run.--Hartford Times.
 Bishop H. c. Potter spoke to the students Of Yale yesterday, and in the course of his remarks made strange admission of his own carelessness while rebukins such carelessness in others. He was recently visiting a Massachusetts family, and needing a Bible asked to borrow one. T was surprised" he said. 'sto find I had in- troduced an embarrassing question: ,'' his manifest point being that every one should have a. Bible about him. The reason he wanted to borrow the book was because II had forgotten nnine." If bishop will forget hls own tools. is that no excuse for an- ther.--New Haven Register.
 Congressman Hill of Conn ec' icut is looking for, liar." Unfortunately such specimens of humanity are not quite as scarce as hens teeth, but he is looking for one particular iar--the author of the report to congress which appears to have smirched members of congress who value their reputa- ton and who have committed nc wrong against the government or any man. Who is the author of the re- port which was submitted to congress and which smirched so many of the c0ngressmen? It was supposed al first that the author was one man, but it now seems difficult 10 fix the re, sponsibility upon anyone outside of congress itself.---New Haven Leader.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
NEGRO QUESTION UP.
SpiEh1 of SEississippi Compares
 Lynchings North and South.


 wAsH1NGTON, March 17.--In the house during the discussion of the postoff1ee appropriation bill Mir. Spight hIiss.) discussed the negro question and declared unjust the attacks on the paople of the south, who had been charged with brutality and barbarism { toward the eolored race.
 Comparing the ,lynchings and burn ings at the stake which had occurred in the south with those in the north, he said that the people of the south in meting out punishment to negro who had committed fiendish crime never followed it I'D with violence to- ward defenseless women and children, as had been done in the north. He de- clared that President Roosevelt by in- yiting Booker Washington to dine at the White House had done more to in lame the passions of the negro and to give him a perverted idea Of his impor- tance and his near approach to social equality than anything that had been done for the last ten years.
 Subsidies to railroads for special mail facilities came in for considerable criticism by Mr. Robertson Qnd.) and Mir. Gaines (Tenn.), the latter charac- terizing them as .'a legalized steal" !,
 Rural mail carriers found many friends1on the floor, who advocated in creased pay for them and the privilege tof acting as agents for newspapers and trades people. ~
 MT. Flood (Va.l denied that Perry s. Heath was entitled to credit for inau- guratiIig rural free delivery. He said Heath made the claim .snotwithstand- ing the fact that he had not yet emerged from the postoffice scandal with name as unsullied as the Alpine snows thrice bleached by northern blasts
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17

A favorable feature in the financial situation is the continued ease in money, says Banker Clews. Funds are abundant and the surplus reserve, which is larger than for several years at this time, now stands at $32 900 900, compared with only $600,000 a year ago. National bank circuia tion is ex- banding with unusual rapidity. the in- crease for February being sS3s466,O00 and the increase for the last twelve months $47.500 900. With call money at present low rates and good bonds sometimes selling on a 5 per cent basis, while not a few good sto ks are selling on almost /a 6 per cent level, there IS not much chance for further depres- sion. The chief trouble with the mar ket now is lack of buying power, due to exhaustion. Other hindrances are the presidential campaign, the cutting Of rates by the Eastern trunk lines, and the prospects of further issues by the latter for contemplated improve ments. A drop of more than $11, ,50O,- 900 in February exports tor $12,900, ,000 in cotton anG breadstuffs alone) was also significant feature. The general business situation, however, is sound. and time should bring about a natural recovery. Improvement in the iron trade is satisfactory feature, and the declines in railroad earnings seem chiefly due to the severe winter. It must be admitted that some reaction has been experienced in business, but as spring approaches and txansporta- ton facilities improve there should be a revival Of activities. Meanwhile, values may sag temporarily, but the movement in the long run is more like7 lyt to be upwards than doWnwafds when so many securities can be bought below intrinsic values.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
TIE DEADLY TORPEDO.
IS MOST DESTRUCTIVE INSTRU- MENT IN MODERN WARFARE.
An Ingenious Affair That Is Like "a Fish of Steel" with the Brains of a Man--How 1t Is f
 Used.

The torpedoing of the Russian bat ueships IsarevlLch and Retv4zan and he cruiser Td4laua by Japanese Lorpe- To boals seems to indicate that the "Whllenead" or automobile fish-torpe- do will play a very prominent part in the Russo-Japanese conflict.
 '.The next great naval war; re- marked a naval expert not long ago. Twill bestow upon the torpedo and it's users a halo Of romance which will eclipse that entirely surrounding the gun and the ram." The terrible po- tentialities of underwater warfare ap- peal viyidly to the imagination and the sinking of nightly line-of- -battleship by the deadly torpedo, sets one to wondering whether these huge 'mai.sd mastodons" will give place to surface and submarine torpedo craft in the na- val battles of the future.
 Underwater fighting is carried out by mines" and "torpedoes." The for mer is a stationary charge of explosive contained in case moored beneath the surface of the water, which is fired when the enemy passes over it. The torpedo is a "crewless submarine, '' provided with the power of aggression. The mine awans the enemy, while the . torpedo goes to seek him.
 Russia and Japan both employ the "Whitehead'' torpedo, invented by the late Mr., Whitehead in 1866, and they carry it on battleships. cruisers, tor pedo gunboats, destroyers and torpedo boats
 The first torpedo was a very much less terrible engine of destruction than < it is to-day, but it has undergone vast changes, and may now be described as s'the most wonderful, machine in the world It carries in it's explosive chamber 200 pounds of guncotton, and when its nose comes into contact with
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
THE SHAMROCK.

a z < t f a Lines written on receipt of a bunch of shamrock from Ireland. Dedi- cated to the A. Q. H. of this city. Hail, hail. little shamrock from over
 the sea.
 From the dear little isle of my birth; A plize you a4e reckoned when greet
 ed by me,
 The dearest and fairest on earth. To grasp your fair leaflets is treading
 again
 The hills and the wales where you
 grew, "s And fond scenes departed you hold
 fore my gaze,
 Though for years they are hid
 from my view. My thoughts now are waited back
 over the waves
 To all that looked blithesome and
 gay, When a boy with delight oftentimes
 plucked you
 To wear on St Patrick's day. The loved mates of childhood, the stars of young life.
 Kind parents and friends fond and
 true; The rough paths of life not strewn
 then with care.
 All, all now are centered in you. You cheered me along through boy
 hoods ble~sed hours,
 When nestled in my inmost heart The hopes. but, alas! they were
 blighted, That from you never would part, But the cursed laws of England pre-
 vasIing,
 Forced me into exile to roam, And severed the fond ties that chain
 ed me
 To the joys of a blessed Irish home. That's why I am anxious to greet
 you, All those thoughts you awake in my breast, And tie tyrannous work of the saxon Tn that down-trcdden isle in the west. Yes. dear little shamrock, oh never Can those thouehts from our mem- o.ies be effaced, Till the path that's laid down for the With the Saxon before us we've traced. Then rest with me. dear little en- bIena. Tel1 me of your home in the west; With a remnant of green on St Pat
 rick's day
 You'll be placed in a. fond exile's breast. Speak. speak, ease my heart, little sram- oct. Tell me of the doings of your foe; For s>ye1i hundred years they have
 pillaged
 That land where still freedom does glow. Yes, to sail o'er the sea to thee, sham,
 rock. Is sought for by us exiles here: To bend OCT your stem that is held
 now By guardians that at you do sheer Then A. O. H. brothers, do harken, And ask of your Maker and King, Wbat truly belongs to the shamrock, We may help, to redeem it again.
 PATRICK. TLAHERTY,
 Division 5, A. o. H
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
HEARD IN PASSING

Many shells were dropped into Port Arthur by the Japanese from d.s- tance of seven and one-half miles, about as far as the City hail clock is from the SperTy light. Really, our naval reserves ought to get strenuous. New Haven Union.
 The presidential boom of Senator German seems to be i'll hopeless state. Henry Watterson says that if the Louisville Courier-Journal had the power to place a man in the white house. it would place Mr German. We wonder if Mir Cleveland reads the Courier-Journal. New Haven Un.on.
 Secretary Hay must be allowed, of course. to make hay while the sun shines, but it is to be hoped that he will not offend Japan. It would be exceedingly awkward for this coun- try to send its navy to the far east to fieht the Japarese. Therefore when the time to divide the spells comes It might be well for MT Hay to let Ja- pan shave her own way without com ment.--Chicag Chronicle.
 Japan begins to feel the effects of the war. It will raise $35 100000 by a war tax and realize S25, ,000, 900 more by postponing government un- dertakings. This is only the first of many similar steps which will come later on for the raising of funds. for the war promises to be prolonged for many months and to be not only tre- mendously expensive, but disastrous for both sides. Sentinel
 Not every mayor in Connecticut can say of the police department of his city what Danbury's mayor has just stated in his annual reoprt Of the DO lice department of that place 'sNo serious crimes have been committed.' '' said he. .sexcept where arrests and convictions folIowe1.n The number Of unpunisIled crimes recorded in some Connecticut cities is a reproach to the right hand of the law-An- sonia Sentinel. A
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
FIRING A TORPEDO AT CLOSE x as6 RANCH.

ships side a pointed steed rod is driven against a detonator cap, and the explosive is sufficient to tear large hole iIi the hull. It is fired from bat
 leships and cruisers by submerged tubes (above-water tubes being aban- doned), and from torpedo craft by re- volving tubes carried on deck; 1t is blown out of the tube by compressed air and on entering the water 1t sinks to the required depth, running sub- merged until it meets it's prey. It's wonderful little engines are driven by compressed air, and it is prevented from rising to the surface or sinking to the bottom by means of a pendulum and hydrostatic valve, which act on the horizontal or diving rudders at the stern; 1t is also fitted. with screw pro- pellers and vertical rudders, and is kept on 8 straight course by spin ming wheel, or gyroscope. Altogether. it well deserves it's name of fish of >-steeI with the brains of man." When the automobile torpedo came to be adopted by all the great powers, special craft were devised by which they could be rendered more efficient
 First came the torpedo boat. Battle ships are the heavy artillery, cruisers the infantry and torpedo craft the cav- airy of modern naval warfare. France went in largely for torpedo boats, and to meet this 8 new type of vessel was produced by Great Britain-the torpe- do catcher. Unfortunately. these boats never succeeded in catching anything. Engineers and shipbui!ders now set to work, and eventually devised the torpedo boat destroyer, the most com- pIete embodiment of energy and wasp ishness afloat, and the most perfect ex- ample of the combined sciences of na- val architecture and marine engineer ing ever yet produced. They are the fastest craft afloat, steaming 25 to 32 knots an hour, are fitted with turbine machinery making 25 to 37 knots.
 Tn the last two naval conf1scts--the Chino-Japanese and the Spanish Amer clan wars-the torpedo and the torpedo craft did not get fair chance The Chinese officers were only too glad to get rid of these dangerous weapons and often hurled them overheard The | Spanish commanders took their tor pedo craft out in broad daylight. and learnt the folly of this proceeding.
 The torpedo has already shown that 1t has to be reckoned with. Tn it's most modern form it has a speed of 30 knots. and range of 2,00O to 5000 yards, and if it hits the mighty battle ship it effectively cripp1es it. There is scanty defense for the latter. Tor pedo nets are of little or no use. for the torpedo carries net-cutter which pierees the best and strongest net with which a battleship can defend itself. H c. FyFE.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
This Man wants to Die.

ALBANY, N. Y, March 17.--5overn- or odell has received an extraordinary letter from q man condemned to death for murder requesting the executive to prevent any attempt to delay the exc cution- The man is Frank H. Burness, 3 sailor, convicted in Brooklyn of the murder Of George B. Townsend Bur- ness is in Sing Sing and was to have been executed on Feb. 8, but the carry ing out of the sentence of death was delayed by an appeal to the court of appeals. He says that he has vio- lent temper, which he is unable to con- trol. and that his execution is the best thing that could be done. ~
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
vnn cott Inquiry to Go on.

NEW YORK, March 17.--President Roosevelt has returned to the post office department all of tlie papers bearing on the investigation of the New York postof11ce and has ordered that the inquiry go further. Pending this he will take no action on<the rec ommendation of the inspectors that Postmaster Van ,Cott and about ten minor officials in the office be asked to resign for the good of the service. The president is not satisfied that the evil dence submitted by the inspectors fully sustains the recommendation.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-03-17
Matinee .Audfences In a Pantc.

PETERSBURG, March Ill., A small sized panic at the Alvin theater result ed from the announcement that vir- ginia Harmed refused to appear in her advertised part. Fully 2,o00 people, mostly women, had been seated for the performance at the usual bargain matinee l50 cents for any seat i'll the house.. and when the announcement was made that Miss Harmed refused to appear before such a cheap house a grand rush was made for the box of flee to get money back. The theater officials were powerless to check the rush, and many women were hurt, but none seriously.