The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1904-08-14
II Seaside Social Events OF the Week
II


fan ofer der country vich cannot afford
TO get in der elevator und 30 up side
~ site init der price OF beef. viii
,pen vunce more der pages OF my cell
ebrationary Cook Book.
In dis Cook Book. vich has seferal
times before came to der rescue Of
der poor, win show der eggonomicaI-
lest way to get along mitould beef vile
der strike is looking der prices up in
a balloon.
wrote dis Cook Book, Dinky. for
yust such emergencies as dis. und ven
der cheneral public sees how much
money | can save dem dink dey
should rise up und gif me sitting
vote OF tanks, please.
Fiery dish mention here. Dlnky, is
free to der public und it Is mitin der
reach Of all
vile der strike Is on und afterwards
der cheneral public ~ Welcome to use
desc eggonomical und money-savInk
recipes init der compliments OF der
beef trust.
Dis should convince you, Dinky, dot
ouidside Of making money We haf mud
dings but der public's welfare in our
hearts, yesl
Here dey vas:
Mock Ham und Eggs Place der vite
Of newspaper In der frying pan. und
den cofer der center init an Italian
sunset picked fresh from a magazine
picture. Dis forms der basis Of der
egg. und it tastes very realistic. Be
sure to get a fresh newspaper und
fresh magazine, uddervise der imita-
tion egg will be dull und insipid. Now
add few slices Of picked Iinoleum und
fry carelessly for 20 minutes. Serve
hot NIT imitation salt und pepper on
der side. Dis Is a daylight dish, be-
cause der sunset effect is lost If cooked
after dark.
Mock Lamb Chops-Saw away three
chops from der face Of der kitchen
table und put dem in der broiler Be
eggonomical init der sawdust. yich cas-
be forced into cottage pudding. Ven
der chops begin to sizzle add a small
bunch of imitation butter und stir
chently. Now let dem sizzle. If der
chops crack across der surface vile
cooking it is a sign dot you vas cheated
ven you bought der kitchen table. Let
dem sizzle. Serve hot nit imitation
vatercresses on der side. Nice vater-
crosses can be made from green vim
daw blinds cut on der bias.
Imitation SausagesCoa few feet
Of garden hose into der kitchen und den
kidnap It, Ven it is finally subdued.
chop it into sections und stuff 1t NIT
odds und ends. Nice, fresh odds und
ends may be bought by der wholesale
at any first-ciass chunk shop. Place
der result in saucepan mitouid add
ing any water. because If you put
water in nit der garden hose 1t will
get up und go on der lawn. Now let It
sizzle. Ven der imitation clock points
to an hour und half der sausage is
done. Serve hot init a lawn mower
to cut der hose.
Imitation Mock Turtle Soup-Go
ouid in der garden und catch young
mock. Remove der pin fedders und
place der mock in a skillet Catch an
onion ven it is not looking und push
it in der skillet. Add water und let it
sizzle. Add more water. Always boil
der water before adding, und always
wash der water before boiling. Let it
sizzle Now upset der skillet into der
soup tureen und add imitation tobas-
cum sauce. Nice tobascum sauce can
be made from picked firecrackers
Serve hot und keep der lips closed
firmly vile eating il from der left-hand
side of der spoon.
Imitation Roast Beef-Draw from
memory der ouidlines Of COW und re-
move der forequarter. Place der fore
quarter on der gridiron und let 1t sig
zle. Now brown der Yeats und draw
vun. Add boiling water und stir
chently init a imitation spoon. After
cooking two hours, try 1t NIT der can
opener. If it breaks der can opener
it is not done. Let it sizzle. Ven der
supper bell rings serve hot NIT imita-
tion pickles on der side. Nice pickles
can be made from green trading stamps
but be careful to squeeze ouid all der
premiums from der green stamps be-
fore useing.
D. DINKENSPIEL.
Per George v. Hobart.
What Gold Boaters Can Do.