The National tribune., 1904-05-05
HAVEN'T WE.

nothing To see over here nothing in the
way of grand old things that have long
since fallen into dsuse.'
/ I'VE haven't, ch! Wait till / get you n
copy of the Postal Laws and Regulations
! INEXCUsABLE PERSISTENCE.
It is the absurd craze on the part of the
! public for letter-writing it is spelling the
temper of the bored post office official He
does his best to discourage it: Look nj
them" he says, 40 of EN-, all in row
some Of ,em been there for the last quar-.
ter Of an hour"
Let EN- wait another quarter of an
nour,' advises the associate; perhaps
they II go away"
My dear fellow" he answers, do you
think l haven't tried that! There's sim
ply no way of getting rid OF 'em; and it's
always the same cry, Stamps! Stamps
Stamps! Pom my. word l think they live
On stamps, some of EN-" We'll, let em
have their stamps suggests the assist.
ant. with burst Of inspiration; perhaps
it will get rid of EN- What's the use, -
| Wea!lly the older man replies; "there'u
only come fresh crowd when those are
gone. oh, WE'LL" argues the other. that
WI be Il change, anyhow. I'm tired look,
EMINENTLY WORTHY
| Representative Sherman, of New York
is trying TO get through pension bill for
Il widow in his district. The bill recently
was favcrably reported and Mr. Sherman
received this letter from a neighbor:
| Dear Mr.. Sherman: I'm so glad YOU
are coming to the relief of Mrs. Blank
she IS worthy woman and is so poor and
| indignant"
| HOW SEEDS WERE DISTRIBUTED IN LODGE
! OF ELKS.
a Massachusetts Congressman harborinp
the idea that the Elks must be a body OF
farmers, or, perhaps. thinking that to send
lot to body of people was the easiest
| way 10 get rid OF his seeds, sent two large
| mali sacks filled with packages to the lodge
| When the order of business reached
Heading Communications" the Secretary
said that he had a communication. but
that, with the permission Of the Exalted
Huler, he would defer the reading of it a
few moments. The Exalted Ruler grant
ing the permission. Mr.. Secretary went into
| the ante-room to emerge presently dragging
the two stuffed mailsacks behind him.
lie advanced to the altar in the center
| OF the room and there opened the sacks.
With a face wreathed with smiles he COM
| menced the distribution of the packages
| to the hundred or more brothers within the
lodge.
| One of the first to profit by the distribu-
| ton opened a package and found beans he
made sign to others. and while the Secre-
| tary distributed the brothers opened their
| packages of large seeds. holding the small
| seeds in reserve. At last the distribution
was completed: two depleted mailsacks
| hung over the altar. The Secretary drew
| pared to read-when the brother who had
made the first signal. which had passed
from man to man about the room. rose to
| his feet. making another sign as he did So
In an instant the air was filled with
peas, beans and corn. all directed to the
| man at the altar. The large-sized seeds
| that had been torn loose were followed by
|! the packages Of small seeds. The Secre-
tary. unable to protect himself. broke for
cover and the bombardment ceased.
That lodge Of Elks believes empla ticallv
| in the distribution Of seeds: it will well
come. in fact. it Dines for the next distri-
| button: but the Secretary is one Of those
waste. and AZ a taxpayer he protests
against the expenditure. He won't be pres
ent when the next distribution takes
place.
| EXPERIENCES AT TIE GENERAL DELIVERY.
Says post-of1ice clerk: "a boy came
here the other dav and asked me if Gen
| eral Iiverman had an Office here 1t took
me a full minute to get it out of him what
| he was after. and then only after he had
| the post office to get his mail from General
| iAiverman' But that's not the worst by a
| long shot. A woman about 60 years old
| asked me where Miss Simmons lived I
| confessed my ignorance of the ladys where
| abouts. and when she insisted that ought
| to know. for she came there for her letters
and told her to write her there ] had to
| tell her that I wasn't any city directory
| but that she could get one from the city
| nostmaster's office. She was mad clear
| through. and gave me such LAYING out
| that had to laugh with the crowd at the
window while she aired her views of the
Post Office Department in general and its
cheap. third-rate clerks particularly"
| ARRAY OF QUEER NAMES
When a settlement is established in this
country about the first thing the inhabi-
tants petition tor is post office. No mat
| ter now unlmportant the place may be in
the opinion of the rest of the world, it is
not SO to the residents. They firmly be-
| iIeve that they have coming METROPOLIS
and dignity will not permit them to do
without place for the reception, delivery
and forwarding of mail. Every country
| town has the facilities of the United States
mall for where there are no towns the
rural free delivery goes.
| In naming the coming metropolis the set
tier generally bids defiance to euphony and
chooses the name much as the Indian does
for his offspring. OF the latter people il
is said that when child is born the father
1 stCpo " lnC uOOI VI TIE lepee anu Chances
about the immediate country and even at
the sky. The object that most forcibly i'm
presses itself upon his mind is the one that
gives him the clue to his child's name.
| Some of the curiously named post Offices
selected at random, are: Tub, Pa Rob
bers' Roost, l. T.; Bird in Hand, Pa.
Lamedeer, Mont; Popcorn, Ind; Why
Not. Ky; Hat Off. Ga; Sopchoppy, Fla.
Jugtown. n. c.; Sevenstars, Pa Fearnot
Pa; Judytown, w. Va: Pig, KY; Good
night, KY; Red Knob, w. Va. Red Lick,
Miss. Gump, Pa; Tim, Mimi; Zif, Ill.
Zero, Ky: Yelfowdirt, Ga: Yellowjacket,
Idaho Rideout, Fla. Gumlog. Ga Blue
Eye, Mo-: Goodwill, S. D.; Gooseberry,
Oregon; Goochland, Va: Gee. KY; Red
Key, Ind; Grip, Pa; Walkchalk. Pa.
You Bet, Cal; Good Thunder, MINI.
Maidstone, VT: Congruity, Pa; Badaxe,
Mich: Two Johns. Nd; Rabbit Hash,
Ky; Bat Cave. N. c.; Goodwine. Ill.
Happy Creek, Va; Nut. Fla; Bigbug.
Ariz., Big Moses, w. Va: Nix, S. c. !;
Rat, Mo-; Haystack, Ky; Cowpens. s. G.. !;
Dice, Mich; Love. Va; Abiquiu, N. NJ.
Chinese Camp. CAL. Bonnet s. c. !;
Poverty HILL S. c.; Red Bird, Ky; Job.
Mo-, Loveless, Ala. Ajax, La; Hat. Va. ;
Red Apple. Ala; Two Licks, Pa. Twitty,
n. c.; Yellowhouse, Pa; Yellow Rabbit,
Miss: Crane Eater, Ga: Too-nigh. Ga /;
Blue Jacket, l. T.; Charlie Hope, Va.