The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-07-22

lobster with Us, and he's lonesome and
wants company. IL you will join
do you know who you are talking
tor" demanded Mr.. Bowser as his heels
lifted of the floor.
Its old Bowser, isn't 1.-THE sole
and original inventor OF the Bowser
spring tonic? Don't get the end OF
your nose into the tube 80 far. Are you
bulldozing Mrs. Bowser tonight, as
usual?'
"I1l hunt you down and knock your
blamed head OF for that" shouted Mr..
Bowser as he hung up the receiver
and danced around.
Il was afraid certain people would
take advantage Of The OCCASION" said
Mrs. Bowser, "but you mustn't be put
out over it"
How dare they talk that way to me
to me-to Bowser?" he exclaimed as
he walked around in great perturba-
ton. by the living lingo, Mrs. Bow
ser, il l have got to put up with such
insults as these I'll sue the telephone
company for a million dollars damages!
You may sit there and advise me not
to be put out about it, but how would
you feel to be called a ~baldheaded,
bow legged lobster?'~
"It is the york of two or three smart
Alexis, and if you don't get mad over
it,
The ringing of the bell interrupted
her sentence, and after hesitating for
q few seconds Mr.. Bowser answered it.
Then a sweet voice inquired:
"Is this Mr.. Bowser's house?"
"Yes'm."
1.-THE Bowser we read Of in the pa
persT"
Eyes"
"Am I talking to Mr.. Bowser him
self?"
you are"
81 am SO glad. This is Mrs. Bays
field of Vernon avenue. Do you catch
the name?"
"Oh, yes-Mrs. Baysfeld Of Vernon
avenue. Did you wish to speak with
Mrs. Bowser?"
Not just now, though 1 may talk
with her later. 1 was married to Mr..
Baysfield six months ago"
81 &c"
And he was just such a man as you
are. l vas young and tender and didn't
seem to have any Will of my own, and
he set out to mold me to his. He jawed
about the household expenses; he
charged me with extravaganza; his way
was TO nag and domineer, and if l ex-
pressed Al opinion he wa ready to
combat it. Yes, he was like you, and
Woman, are YOU talking to me-
shouted Mr.. BOWser into the trans
mitter in tones that made Mrs. Bow
ser and the cat jump.
"Of course. Ii we sat down to a
friendly game Of euchre and | beat
him, which l always did. he got red
in the face and pounded on the table
and
What Ices all this mean" yelled
Mr.. Bowser.
why, 1 set out to tell you that
Il don't care a hang what you set
out to tell me. It's a bold, brassy
thing on your part to call me up and
talk as you talk. 1 must say you are
no LADY,"
But wait and let me tell you. As
l said, my husband was a regular
DO" lol lOAtdS, Ulu i SdN0
him rope to see how far he would
go. When he had reached the limit
1 took a crowbar and knocked him
down, M then, standing on his pros
trate body, r
THAT settles itr' said Mr.. Bowser
as he hung up the receiver.
"How do you meanT' asked Mrs.
Bowser.
This telephone goes out of the
house tomorrow
Nov, don't be childish. Three Or
four people nave set out to have a
little fun with you this evening, but
there will be only three or four"
But how dare they try to have fun
with me? Do l look like q funny man:
Do 1 look as if people could abuse and
humiliate me? By thunder, Mrs. Bow.
SER
But the bell rang again, and down
in her soul Mrs. Bowser realized that
the end had come.
"Well?" queried Mr.. Bowser.
'This is Johnson"
"Yes."
"They were telling me down at the
BowlerS' club today that you Were
using buttermilk poultices on your
head to make the hair grow. I wanted
to ask you
Mr.. Bowser uttered a series of
whoops and then grabbed the tele-
phone box and tugged and heaved AMI
wrenched, and a moment later he hal
torn it from the wall and was holding
1t aloft in his hands. Mrs. Bowse
fed through one door and the CT
through another, and it was midnigh:
before Mrs. Bowser was awakened b.
some one moving about the bedroom
and muttering to himself:
"Buttermiik poultices to make my
hair grow! Why, I'll hunt that maH
down and kill him IL it takes the next
twenty years." NJ. QUAD.