Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1904-05-11
Badly Made Sons
Letter To Father

The Editor of The Eye Opener, hav.
ing returned from his usual jamboree.
the course OF letters from badly.
made son, of which have already Civ.
en- the first two examples, is resumed
and below will be found the third let.
ter, from which It will appear that the
ingenious youth had received from his
father the second C 500:-
Letters from badly.made son to his
father in England.
Third Letter.
Edmonton, I'd December, 1902.
Sir John Buzzard. Cholmondeley,
Buckingham Hall,
Buckingham,
Leicestershire.
Dear Father:-Your second cheque
for FIVE hundred pounds received, max.
ing one Thou In all. Many thanks. DO
not be alarmed. We are not coming
ever. am exceedingly grieved to
learn that my dear mother is suffer.
ing from nervous prostration and that
ny sisters contemplate entering a con.
vent. Cheer the family up by assuring
them that my poor half-breed wife Is
suffering from acute alcoholism and Is
not expected to live. Even as write,
ar Indian medicine man is beating a
tom-tom by her bedside In an adjoining
tent to drive away the evil spirits,
though I fear her system Is too thor.
oughly impregnated with spirits to
yield to such treatment. have let
the children out on shares. ...
Both OF your cheques l have had
cashed In Edmonton, on the outskirts
( of which thriving village We are at
pi esent encamped. So far have only
bl-spent about $500 Of your generous
remittance, having given away most Of
It in the fullness Of my condition to the
local hotel keepers. II Is a traditional
custom of this country to whack up
ones wealth with the hotel keepers
and deposit for safe keeping in their
cash registers all funds not immediate,
ly required for grub.
have materially altered my plans
as regards investing my money In
stock. Being anxious to die rich, ]
have decided, after a prolonged pow.
WOW with my wife, to start in the
newspaper business at Leduc, an al
legged town twenty miles south of Ed
monitor. I am assured by Mr.. j. c..
Crome, OF the Toronto Type Foundry
who deals In printing plants. that for
tune far beyond the widest dreams OF
avarice can be rolled up running a
country newspaper In Alberta, espc
cially with plant procured from his
firm on easy terms.
In this business one has to move
around good deal After busting In
one town, all you have to do is &c
start up in another. An experienced
western newspaper man tells me that
an editor may safely bank on receiving
the same frank, hearty, whole-soulet
welcome In one of these hamlets as Is
accorded new preacher. The new ed
itor is "all right all rlght"-until he
starts in collecting the dough. The
!, moment he evinces longing to bt
paid Tor his ads. his finish Is In sigh
, coming down the pike. 1t Is time Il
start moving the plant.
. My newspaper friend Informs mi
the first issue, on account of its nov
, city, Is always a distinct success. You
, rag Is pronounced by sagacious gen
tlemen seated on barrels Of salt COZ
J to be IA real spicy little paper" Spic.
is the word invariably used In thi
0 connection. A large portion OF you
q time is occupied laying for the rube
q as they come In from the country an,
: bracing them for subscriptions. MI
0 Jawkin Hakadahl, whose advent int
. town the previous Tuesday with
. bunch of hogs was duly chroniclet
subscrlbes delightedly OF his own az
Il cord. as does also Hank Buckle!
Whose appearance before the ]. +. o
Ia OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES charge you chi
lritably left out: while Mr.. Chug Gu
zaack, whose daughters cracked voio
you have lauded to the skies as beln
one of the most pleasing features I
. the Methodist choir, buys a copy
e send to his brothers folks In the Ba
u Lands of Bruce, Ont.