Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-02


man clad in snowy white running as if
the fiend were after him-as it was, in
deed, only that time it could not catch
him.
What wonder that under the burden
of Lavanderia's love the bachelor be-
came pale and restless and could no
longer sleep nights! 1t was harder on
him than being in love himself He
grew dyspeptic and smoked more than
was good for him.
The Spanish word for trouble" Is Of
the masculine gender, and very prop
erly. One morning early chewed up
little brown monkey Of a man was seen
to enter the leafy hut where dwelt La
vanderfa. He carried shabby, small
yellow trunk that might have contain
ed either clothing or ammunition to
be Struggled to the insurrectos.
Immediately arose a tremendous
commotion. Dogs barked, poultry
cackled, children screamed. Presently
emerged from the dusty litterage La
vanderia. She was in state Of vol
canic eruption. Never since the days
Of the bacchantes was enacted drama
more furious. Lavanderia hurled things
about all over, boxes, rags, red robes,
slippers, ironing boards, mats and
saints pictures. You have read in
novels how people tear their hair, but
perhaps have never seen anybody do
it. Lavanderia did it literally. She
dragged the confirming comb from her
long, oily locks and clawed them this
way and that till she looked like
fury. She was fury for the time.
Her climax was to rush to the shallow
ditch beside the street, throw herself
into it and roll over and over. She
tore up handfuls of grass and dust and
scattered them over herself and upon
the surrounding air. Her brown neigh
bors and friends did not interfere with
her. but gathered in ring around her
off at a safe distance to see the show.
All the while there issued from her
lips strange, monkeylike screams and
gatherings, half Spanish. half Tagalo-
to wit:
"Matrimony no good husband no
good, no want husband, no want mat
rimony, husband much bad, matrimOny
much bad no want matrimony, no
want husband-ang pang bang, maca-
yuyung, matrimonio mucho malo, mari
do mucho malo pag bag dagumagv'
This performance was merely the
proper TagalO manner of expressing
the unpleasant emotions of the delicate
feminine mind.
The truth was Lavanderia was not
a ''viuda" at ALL She had a living hus-
band, large as life-large as Tagalo
life, that is, which is not much Of
size She was a-weary Of him and de-
sired to change him for one Of the tall
white gentleman boarders opposite.
Her husband had been in Aguinaldo's
army fighting the Americans, but had
got away and come home.
Never was husband more unwel-
come than this withered up looking lit
tie brown man. The shock was more
than Lavanderia could bear.
Suddenly she stopped rolling upon
the ground, raised herself to a sitting
posture and glared about her. AT the
diagonal street corner stood two Amer
lean soldiers doing police duty in that
part of Manila. They were beardless
boys, yet tall, good looking and well
grown. They wisely deemed it unnec-
essary to interfere with Lavanderia's
show. The fact is they wanted to see
the fun as much as anybody. Lavan-
deria perceived them and, with heaven
knows what wild, yearning thoughts in
her breast, made dive for them.
Gang pang bang igalang, marido mu-
cho malov'
The soldier nearest her was very
young. pink checked and curly haired
yet having withal sense of humor be-
fitting the finished man of the world.
He waved his arms toward her tragic
ally and ''shooed'' her Off
go way, woman!' he cried. Go
way! donk' want youl I'm married
manr'