The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1904-10-18

his lips never uttered. why OF how our
hands had sought each others ] never
| knew: cannot even now remember
nor even when that involuntary JOHNNIE
had commenced--I think from the very
first day we had met.
never called him Bernard: never,
never. never; and. yet. as Bernard al
ways think OF him. ID. z. II. was In
scribed on the umbrella which he al
ways carried; leaning upon II now and
then In his weakness. asked him
once for what the z. stood; hs made me
guess. and leased me. as failed to dc
so. In revenge, insisted 1t must be
zeroboam. and Zeroboam always called
him. even on the last day OF our parting
We had strolIed together far up the
beach. We we're between sandhills ano
the sea. with not a soul within eye
sight. My hand rested in his. II was
dark. moonless. still. only an occasion
al Whit OF air blew us q strain OF the
distant music: and always far away In
the light the dark masses Of people
surged to and fro.
This Is our good-by." he said. and !
answered nothing.
How he knew, how he understood. has
always been mystery; we never spoke
OF love. yet he never doubted mine. nor
| his. He went on, always in that hoarse,
sweet voice: II shall go to Colorado
first. California next; then shall come
back, and we will go to the south OF
France. cannot live In this climate"
| was trembling; felt wanted him tc
be gone. could not face the sadness.
and did not wish to be sad. Twas rest
less. nervous and excited,
say good-by TO me here" he said,
suddenly. and his arm was over my
shoulder and his face near mine.
"Good-by." | said. hastily drawing
back from him. He held my hand-~fo.
now both my hands were In his.
"Is that the way friends say good
by?"
Hot as Are glowed my cheeks in the
darkness, and my heart stilled my
breath with It's quick throbbing. His face
was near mine. shrank back and back.
"Good-by. good-by." / said. with
nervous haste, and then when he would
have come nearer. felt his breath ON my
cheek. mo. mol" l cried. Don't.
DON'T"
He sighed-s short. quick breath rath-
er than q sigh-and then stood up.
VERY WE'LL" he said: perhaps you
are right. Wait until come back. But
mind. IL not me. no one else. Youprom
ise thatg"
Yes" answered. soberly and grave
ly. ristng also Yes, promise"
have longed for that kiss ever since
How have longed for 1t you will never
know.
Can you understand? But. yes, some
how l feel you can. That kiss have
never had has colored all my life and
made me what I am. Always | have
snatched at momentary qualification,
for fear OF the hour when should long
for IT,. And 30 have drunk when the
cup was offered me-drained 1t for every
drop OF sweetness. and never missed
but that one kiss which can now never
have. loved him: yet when we parted
my lips we're dry. and laughed while
he looked sad.
| My cousins had laughed at our friend
ship; they laughed when we said Good
by" to him at the railroad station. and
with them. Was not sad. nor gloomy;
/, had no forebodlngs
That summer the trees and grass were
gresner than they have been before or
! since. and | was as gay as the sun
beams. never heard from him. and |
never wrote to him. but dreamed of him
! all day and at night He seemed so
close to me that did not even miss his
, presence That three weeks we had been
40 constantly together had given him
J to me absolutely. | could hear his an
swer to every question. zee his sunken
syes light into consciousness and CLEAN
with quiet humor. feel his hand in minc
both when slept and when woke.
+ Nothing disturbed my memory but that
lonsed-for. empty. wasted kiss Some
lines would feel again his breath on
my neck, and his beard would brush my
cheek. And then / blushed. my heart
beat. but held up my lips. and always
he was not there. I learned to listen for
him In every footstep. to look FOR him
behind every tree.
One day my uncle came. We went out
I into the garden. We chattsd. / was
very happy. My uncle had come unex-
pectsdly Just walked up the avenue
while we were at dinner.
pictured bernard walking IN like
/ that: a quiet smile. We'll, child, here
| am again"
felt that was what he would saw.
Then | would take his hand and we
would go away together. And would
kiss him and lay my cheek against his
beard. and tell him l was sorry | had
not kissed him before he went
DO you remember what friends Won
were with that poor fellow, Bernard
Haslng. last year, asked my uncle.
Ny heart gave one great thump. II
was the fret time ! had heard his name
his dear name
Eyes. remember" answered.
Mice fellow. wasn't he! Poor fall
low"
Poor feilow!" ssid. family.
Died In San Bobsdil; beastly n,sca
for him to have TO 40 to. They hna ~