The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1904-11-02

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Patience-Is her husband in trade
Patrice-No; he was sold out by tn
sheriff last week.-Yonkers States
man.
PA. what is a genius?" "A geniu
Is a clever person who car steal some
body's originality and not be foun'
out."-Chicago Post.
Yeast-Why is a woman's poke
like the North Pole? Crimsonbeak-
That's easy. Because the mar doesn'
live who ever discovered it.-Yonker.
Statesman.
Little Tildy-Don't you get awfu
tired dom nothin', mister: Languit
Lannigan-Turrible, sissy. but l new
er complains. Everybody has der,
trOubles.-Puck.
Teacher-Willie, give me a sentence
In which the term hook-and-eye is
used. Willie-Me an pa went fishin'
Pa told me t. bait m hook an I did
Baltimore American.
"You can't take two from two and
leave one. you know" NO." replied
the South Dakota Judge. but I've
often taken one from one and left
two."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Little Dick-Uncle Richard, what is
chagrin? Uncle Richard-Dickie, cha.
grin Is that feeling you ought to have
when you kick at the cat and fall over
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
This book of poetry is my flrst,'
says . candid western poet, "and If my
friends and fellow-citizens will only
help me to pay out, l promise EN- il
will be my last!"-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
Mae-So you've broken with him.
Ethel-Yes. He was entirely toe
hard to please. Mae-Gracious. how
he must have changed since he pro
posed to you!-Superior (Wis.) Tele.
gram.
Artist lat work)-Now give me your
honest opinion of this picture. Wis
itor (who fancies himself a critic-It's
utterly worthless! Artist (dreamily)
-Yee-s-but give it all the same
London Punch.
Boss" began the beggar, won't
you help q poor" "See here" inter.
fupted Goodheart. II gave you money
last week." well, gee whiz! Amt
you earned any more since ?"-Phila,
delphia Ledger.
II spent last evening in the COM
pany Of the one l. love best in all the
world" said young Sapleigh. 1907"
Queried his friend Bifkins. "And
didn't you tire of your own company"
News.
Can you gimme a bite. ma'am?"
said the ragged hobo. I'm hungry
enuR ter eat . hoss." Il regret to
say" replied the kind lady. that we
are just out Of horses; but I'll call the
dog."-Chicago News.
"One Of the most important things
in life." my son." said the father, "is
to know when to grasp IN opportuni.
IT," And another" said the wise
son, sis to know when to let go Of it,
] suppose. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
BiggsI went fishing yesterday.
Butts-What did you catch! Biggs
Didn't even catch . nib
bic. Butts-Allow me to congratulate
you, old man. That's the first truthful
lsh story / ever heard.-Chicago
News.
II suppose you will marry when you
grow up" said the visitor pleasantly.
mo-" replied the thoughtful girl limo
Gently. Mamma says papa IL more
care than the children. 90 I guess the
care Of my children win be enough for
me without the car Of . husband."-|
Chicago Post.
"You say you would like to be can.
tured BY brigands?" "Well," answer.
ed Nh. Meekton. II don't know that l
would exactly enjoy II. But IL some
brigand we're to demand ten or fifteen
thousand dollars before he'd dive me
up, It might make Henrietta think III
to neutrality-suspicious.
Record-Herald.
The Rail Exports.
At Z recent conference the German |
BELGIAN and English manufacturers ~