Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1904-03-03
soWsER, THE PILGRIM.

Is II poI'lIC7 queIIeu MIS- Do"-
ser.
mo. l got word to-day that I
had been elected member of the
Pilgrim Fathers Club and l have got
to show up tonight and make a little
address. I've been running things
over in my mind all the afternoon,
and l guess can get off something
that will do
"Is it about the Pilgrim Fathers?
"Of course
Hadn't you better outline to me
what you are going to say? Perhaps
l can give you some suggestions You
are apt to get tangled up on history
You know
"Oh, l am, am l? replied Mr.
Bowser, as he bristled up If you
Can mention one single instance where
have tangled up in history, ancient
or modern, III give you S. gold
piece. You know it all, of course,
but it don't follow that all the rest of
us are natural idiots
"Well, you'll probably getthrough all
right, soothingly observed Mrs. Bow
ser, aud she went up stairs to lay out
his clothes and determined to say no
more on the subject.
Mr. Bowser was disappointed. AS
matter Of fact he was not at all sure
of his position, and he had intended
to ask bis wife several questions and
profit by her answers. His dignity
had been hurt, however, and now he
couldn't get around it. He had a
dim feeling that he had got the May
! flower, Christopher Columbus and
George Washington more or less mixed
up, and all the time he was dressing
he wished that he had an hour to
consult the encyclopedia. 1t was now
too late to get down the book without
Mrs Bowser seeing it and asking
further questions, and he had let the
idea 90. When he was ready to take
his departure Mrs Bowser said
You know where the Pilgrim Faith.
ers landed, of course ?"
MADAM, do know my own name?'
be asked in reply, as be drew himsel
up and folded his arms and fixed hel
with both his eagle eyes.
She had no further words, but the
cat looked from one to the other anC
loudly purred that there'd be hot
time in the old town that night. Dur
ing his walk Of halt a mile to the
club Mr.. Bowser thought Of Plymouth
Rock and Plymouth hens and Ply
mouth squashes. Thoughts of De
Soto, Cicero. Miles Standish, Napoleon
and the May flower chased one another
through his brain, and when he arrived
he was in a state Of perspiratlon. a
friend who had his best interests al
heart advised champagne in liberia
quantities, and when the time came
for the newly elected Pilgrim to gel
up and speak he was feeling that he
had mortgage on the whole earth
and that Mrs. Bowser didn't know
beans from broomsticks. AS to what
followed it is best to take his OWL
story for 1t.
A quarter of an hour before mid
night Mrs. Bowser, who had fe.t that
her services would be required and
had not yet gone to bed, heard some
one fumbliDg and fussing at the front
door. She passed down the hall anC
opened 1t, and Mr. Bowser somehow
got in without falling down. Hi
gait as he progressed toward the sit
ting room was combination of wab
bic and wizzy-wszzY, and be was rea
glad when he fually brought up il
front of bis rocking chair, and man
aged to drop into it in heap.
well, you are home again + saic
Mrs. Bowser, with smile.
"Yesh, my dear, l am home, b
thickly replied, "and l am happy t
shay that my speech was a grea
sh1ckcess- a great shUckcess. l toll
you how it would be, but you though
l would break down. Never hear,
so much applause in all my life
Some of my friends think l ought t
take er lecture platform this winter
u am glad of it, and as it is noV
midnight let us go to bed. You ca
tell me all the particulars in the morn
ing"
"But l am going to tell all er PAL
ticulars now. l might forget EN- b
mornin'. 1t was the speech of m
life-of my life. and you Orter b
proud of me. l brought down tt