The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-27
PILGRIM JOE.
Things Keep Happening to Him Most
All the Time.


All the Time.
had been received in the town of
Red Hot in a manner befitting my
dignity and benign disposition, and
was still taking tintypes at ten cents
take and givin' the greatest satis-
, faction when an old kuss with far
away look in his eyes came along and
said:
Pilgrim. It's said thou hast a grass
hopper in bottle ?"
lis true I hast"
Keep him in a bottle all the time
Except for ten minutes in the day,
when let him out TO frisk and gam
Does he seem to be content with
"Ayei to the fun
But he can't be-" protested the old
man. HDurn my cats, but IL is
cruel, wicked thing. Natur' made the
CRASH Upper to wander whittier ne
listeth--to rise UP when he takes no
ton, and the idea of your oottiln
him up makes me mad. m sayih
that it's cruelty to insecks, and m
seyin' further, and I'm goin to see
sestice done at all hazard. Bring out
the insecki
''FelIer mortal says l. still preserv-
in my fatherly look, "he who mindeth
his own business evadeth trouble
But this is my business. When
md a man who amt usin grass
hopper on the squar', it's my duty to
mix in and take the part of the in
seek. That's a soft and tender look
you've got on your old phiz, but 1t
don't fool me leetle bit Way down
in your heart you are an old scoundrel.
I ask you again to produce the hop
"Didst never hear I said as
stroked my venerable whiskers, that
= soft answer turneth away wrath,
H. old 7r-cA3
stirs up the bile within him?"
Bring out that hopper and turn
him loose or I'll make We wish ye'd
never bin born!'
I saw that the old critter was ready
fur row. and while uttered a heart
felt sigh and shook my gray head
over the sinfulness of mankind I also
made ready fur what was to come.
When he suddenly jumped in on me
with a whoOp L was prepared fur him,
and my right reached his solar plexus.
Ie went down like patriot at Bum
fxer Hill, only a leetle harder, and duty
urged me to climb on to him and
thump him about till his penitence
and humiliation were like unto a small
child.
When I let him up at last his solicit
tousness fur the welfare of my grass
hopper had quite departed, and the be-
Hign expression he had referred to in
sarcasm still beamed on him to his
great satisfaction.
Next day left the town amidst the
plaudits of the multitude, and l had
kivered a distance OF three miles on
my way to Give 1t Up, when I en-
countered another old man. There
seemed to be a look of sorrow on his
face. but I was not to be taken in by
1t, and did not strain him to my bos-
ON.
Art not a Teller man?" he asked, rs.
he noticed my GOODNESS.
"Sunthin' of ona."
q mill priv tn .f,ty-
the sorrerin'-sympathy fur the af-
hicted?"
d" It's true. indeed
.Dost year to relieve the distress of
the helpless-to replace life's shadders
with sunshine p
That's me-
II thought I could not be mistaken, .
said the stranger as he sat down on the
grass and spread a blanket II was on
my way over to the town of Last Hope
to found an orphan asylum, but / don
want to be hog about the thing. ii
duty has whispered in your ears that
you ought to share half the expense,
III give way. Have you got a pack
of keerds with you?''
ITO what purpose?"
ITO the purpose that we may hev
leetle game Of poker, the winnin's so
in to the asylum. Wen start with u
dollar apiece for the Jackpot
sometimes carry pack of keerls
with me that may look at the pic
~ 80 ~ N1AAAS away dtid II az
happened that 1 had one on this occa-
sion. The stranger still kept his LOOK
OF sorrer, but l was on my guard agta
him. While I dOte on orphan asylunls,
also remembered that the ungodly
were abroad in the land and ready to
overwhelm the guileless wherever
found. I put my dollar in the jackpot
and kept my eyes open, and in half
an hour I was out $40. The stranger
had a keerless way with him and an
peaIed to be honest and it was only
when he had a Jackpot of $50 on the
blanket that I discovered an ace up his
sleeve.
Thus doth the orphan rejoice ana
the wilder wax fat I remarked, as I