The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-07-23
in WHICH BOOZE
AND BASS MIXED
TYPHOID TALE OF THE RE
FORMED DRUMMER.

FORMED DRUMMER.
Was in the Water Wagon Up to His
Neck When He Recovered Con-
seriousness Veracious Story of
a Fishing Trip That Led to Tenn
perance.
There's only one thing wuss N a lot O. whisky
you can take on a trip, an that's lot o fools
at II drink it.-Philosophy Of Colonel Wheaton.
John Beckfelt had sent for new boat.
and cart to haul 1T about the coun-
try, and both, having arrived, We're be-
ing examined by a score OF knowing eyes
about the front of Powers hardware
store, among which were those that 1llu-
minated the drummer's phiz. OF course,
there We're tales going about and discus
sions galore as to the rival merits Of the
different builds of boats, and the different
methods Of transporting them, and finally
the drummer took a hand We had
reached the store interior about that time,
and, perched on counters and divers nail
kegs, listened to his contribution 70 the
matter in hand.
WELL" he began, II m not much preJu-
diced in favor of one build of boat more
than of another, and one kind Of boat cart
suits me as well as any other, but the
raggedest, most disreputable contraption
of the latter kind eyer laid eyes on did
me the greatest service I ever received
For it put me On the water wagon. at a
| time when was the other way In great
shape, and getting toward the point where
I'd have been all in for good-of bad-at
| a 2 fiat gait. It was several years ago,
| and in just about such a country as this,
| just about on the turn between the large
| freedom of the frontier and the more or
| less wholesome tramnelS of civiliza ton,
and / had been on the road for but a
| short time. In those days the heresy that
| a travelling mans success depended in
large measure on his carrying capacity,
and that the fellow who could stand up
and do business with. the greatest amount
Of whisky under his belt was the chap to
knock the business persmmon, was in
great vogue, and was trying to measure
up to it.. I didn't know then that success
gained that way was only quarter boss,
but, no matter, that has nothing to do
with the boat cart. I got to a little town
| way up at the end Of the line, and found
three other drummers in town, a big
washout on the railroad behind me and
nothing doing for three or four days after
I had transacted what business the town
afforded.
| Nov among the drummers was a
whisky man who had closed up non
paying saloon just before my arrival, and
found five-gallon key Of first rate
whisky among the stock.
II mot being able to dispose Of it te
i good advantage in town the devil put
i ii into his head that it would be good
Idea for the four of us to charter a team
take the key along, and go fishing for the
time the railroad tie-up lasted. And o.
course his suggestion, when he made 1t
was agreed to instanter, as 1T was SURF
to be in that time and generation. So WE
looked up a man with team, and fount
one who knew of mira culOus bass fish
i irg at some lake about twenty miles Oh
of town, who agreed to take us if WI
/ could procure a boat from an old fellow
who dd kind of livery business am
owned several, as well as a boat -cart
This ancient, however, wanted to use tn
cart and one Of the boats, ,himself--o
said so-and the only way we were abb
to get them was to buy them outright
which VIC finally did. Well, we reaehe
the lake all right, our guide philosophy,
I and friend who took us zout hav1n
: brought along big tent and bedding
and a merry time we would have had, an
a taken back-if we had only left til
whisky behind. But we hadn't
1--WE didn't wet line. We began a lit
p tie game of freeze .out purely for fun, a
soon as our dinner had settled littlt
+ interspersed it literally with drinks; &c
IF " pldylIlS Ill utdu earliest, SOl 10 IlLClU
# the key in deader; had several fights, an
: somehow, I never could tell how it wa
we started back to town late in the ever
n ing. To put 1t mildly the whole crow
. driver and all, were under the influence
in fact, the only thing sober about tt
outfit was the team, which perhaps a.
n counts for any part Of 1t getting bac
~ Now have dim recollection of tryir
8. to get into the wagon, Of failing sever
~ | tiroaa nd n finally OF WIN mn a,
Z falling into the boat, which was still
the cart and hitched behind the WACO
And then my light went out. And it
IS up in hell. No, I'm not stringing yo
W That's straight. That's just where we
to I went thru fortunes that would make
lg that Dante conjured UP in his imaginati
m look like thirty cents. There was pit
~ darkness, lit up at intervals by the me
e, vivid lightning. There were peals Of thu
der that shook up everything worse tn
Mr.. Bryan did the democratic conVe
ton Of 90 with his cross of gold speet
Ia There was every possible variety Of de
ny grinning, leering and bowling about n
x And how any man could have gone tn
20. what did and not been scared to dea
I'll never tell you.
but did it till my light went
nc again. And then, when it flashed ur
q found myself flat on my back in that
~. boat, which was still on the cart, the Ii
40 ter standing at the foot of a big hill a
L" nothing else in sight. The boat was h
full Of water, and was soaked for f
for, you see, there had been a big 'sto1
n and that, and my imagination, powerfu
III aided by the whisky had done the re
AS I afterwards learned, the other fello
had never found out that they had |
me- All of them, driver and all, had b,
too drunk to know that the old cart l
parted company with the wagon, a
when they reached town and found
train about to leave, the other drumm
hustled aboard and went, still too dr.
to pay the driver, which pleasure was
served for me when I finally made
- way in on foot, tired out, half dead, ev
Ali' nerve on the jangle, and the biggest h
the that ever mortal man wore perched on
for shoulders. I got away, and spent
I'VE next three months wrestling with and
90, covering from typhoid. And you be
climbed on the water wagon as soon
81 was ST ong enough to climb anywhere
vas &C. G. Kell,
lad -------------- = ----------
Of $500 Line Round Trip Sumr
:. Tourist Rates to the East.
!. These tickets are good to return