The river press., 1904-11-02
1RlBuLATl0hs Of A. GREAT
GRANDFATHER.

GRANDFATHER.
The Octsgenarian Analyzes the Letter
Of His Associate ON the Democratic
11cket-as Takes Issue with Young
Alton Upon Nearly Every Point, but
Finally euccuubs t. Drowsiaess
and IL Pat to Bed.
Elkins, Sept. %.
Dear Sonny:
I don't know what's the matter with
me. I can't seem to recollect anything
that has happened since I made my pro-
lection speech in the Senate in 1888.
That was the greatest effort of my-or
my stenogra pher's-life.
When l went upstairs last night I
forgot what I had gone for and had
to call my boy, Steve Elkins, up to tell
me. Quicker'n shootin' he pointed to
the bed and began helpin' me off with
my Congress CATERS. That's jest like
q Republican, thinkin' of what we ought
to think of first and doin' what we amt
got git-up-and-git enough to do for our
selves.
And now few words about your let
ter of acceptance. Don't git hot under
the collar if an old man of so takes
the privilege of speakin' his mind.
You begin by talkin' about centraliza-
ton. Where have you been living the
last forty years? Don't you know that
the principle that the Union is bigger
than any Of its parts was settled by the
war, when l laid the foundations of
my fortune sellin' horses to the Federal
army?
Don't fash yourself about some youth
full Napoleon usurpin' any dangerous au-
thority over the SO.OOO.UOO American
sovcreigns. They all know their rights
as well as Dave Hill, and knowin', dare
maintain them, without the consent of
any other nation, rs your friend Of '06
and 1900, Billy Bryan. would say.
What's this thing imperialism you
talk SO much about? In my opinion it's
all tommyrot. There's no more impe-
rialism in the United States than in
the knothole stuffed with the clay of
imperial Caesar.
lou make me weary when yon talk
about the President Of the United States
developing such tremendous power from
year to year until it almost equals that
of many monarchs." What sort Of small
potatoes do you take the President of
this republic for? You may think he
is of no more account than the King
of Greece or the Akoond of Swat, but
at my age Pm not runnin' for the remote
chance of succeedin' to an office no big
ger than some hop O. my thumb might
get by accident.
Don't yon know that if we follow 'the
footsteps of our fathers we must march
toward the past? Following the foot
steps of ancestors can only lead to the
cradle or the tomb. And though they
say that I am i'll my second childhood
and have one foot in the grave, l prefer
standin' in the footsteps OF the livin' to
followin' the footsteps of the dead.
Act-act in the living present!
Heart within, and God o'erhead
has always been the motto Of your as
pirin Uncle Gassaway.
Talk of lust Of power. What are we
in this race for? never lusted for any
thing as / lust after the presidency
OF the Senate. with a reversonary inter
est in the Presidency of the United
States.
Your ideas on the tariff are as hazy as
the vision of a six-day-old steer. Here's
what l said in 1888. and it's good doc
trine yet:
am for tariff that will yield sufficient
revenue for the economical and proper cx-
pcnlitureS OF the government, and in that
tarf believe incidental protection to our
industries is right and proper.
If tariff for protection is robbery.
to the penitentiary with the whole outfit!
We can't cozcn the people by denouncin'
the crime while supportin' the govern
ment OIL the swag.
see you have lugged in the old chest
nut about protection building up the
business and property of the few ut the
expense of the many" Don't you know
that property and wealth in the United
States was never rs widely distributed
as to-day? that in all industries more
than 90 per cent of the gross income
goes to the Wage-earners. and that the
wage-earners are our only true imperial
lists?
l notice with qualification that you
sidestep in regard to trusts.
was deeply affected by your reference
ito our martyrh President. William
Mckinley" Let me recommend his care
fully thought-out policies to your study
and adoption. Otherwise this appreci-
alton Of the dead leader will rebound to
the honor and glory Of his young sue
cessor in the White House, who has not
swerved hairs breadth from the chart
laid down for him by William McKin-
ley.
What do you mean by celebrating
tyranny" in the Philippines? Who's
plnyin' Andy Jackson over there?
Do you know the record of our Dem
ocratic Congressman on the subject of
civil service-how they have persistent
~ voted to withhold the approprat tions
necessary to the administration of the
statute? Alton, if We can't be elected,
let us be honest.
You talk about "the Executive acouir-
ing the Panama route and rights Don't
you know that these We're acquired by
the government. and not by the execu-
tive? The Senate ratified the treaty and
Congress appropriated the money to
clinch the opportunity to do what you
say "has long been the hope of our
statesmen, to-wit. dig the canal:'' If you
Are in earnest abOut the right tn 1iv hav