davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1904-04-16
All Run Down

In the Spring is when you notice it
the most The system ds full OF i'm
purities that have accumulated during
the winter months, which must be dis
PEELED at once. The quickest and safest
way is to take Hoststter's Stomach
Ritters. Nothing else is so good to cure
Spring Fever, General Debility. Sleep
lessness, indigestion, Dyspepsia, Con-
stipation, Liver Troubles, La Grippe,
Colds or Malaria, Fever and Aeue.
We urge you to try bottle today.
HIS EITERS
ST. MACH BITTERS
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31

But born of mem'rfes old and sweet--the
songs my mother sung
When in the dusk she held me close and
gently stroked my hair.
And bore me with her down to Sleep in
that old Bye-Bye Chair.
My boyhood's friend went wrong to-day;
the same old story. deari
Temptation. yielding sin and fall. And
thopghtless woridlings sneer,
But l who sit here by your side and
hear you sing tonight,
And gaze behind me on the years with
love and faith aiight.
race they've made.
But search my heart and bless the part
that mother love has played.
I know he lacked the mother hands that
I know he lacked the mother smile that
turns the droSS to gold;
nv. of Right and Wrong are dim i AeAS
There was no shining mother light to
The callous cynics of the world gage sin
by what is done.
But can measure life by love of mother
to her son;
And God. who knows the human heart
has mercy. dear to spare
To him whose soul-strength was not won
in mothers Bye-Bye Chair.
World is just outside
1t does not tight the pillow fight; it's
Its blows are blows - that at SILVER i strength;
=. it smiles to see a fall;
Yet victory is not to him who wantonly
gives pain.
Who wrests their weapons from the
weak and tramples on the Slain.
For chivalry. it is not dead, honor
but a name.
And bitter scorn be need of him who
brings his mother shame.
Yet he who. barking back to youth, goes
forth and nobly tries
To color life to match the light that
shines from mothers eyes.
And he who with his earnest. faith his
after life attunes
To these old songs of honest love his
mother softly croons.
May walk adown the ways of Life, and
in his daily prayer
Thank God that all his best was born in
that old Bye-Bye Chair.
Holman Day in Pearson's for Deem
Der.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
The Perfect FIGURE.

The height of a person with a per-
feet figure should be exactly equal the
distance between the tips of the mid
die fingers on either hand when the
arms are fully extended. Ten times
the length of the hand, or seven and
a half times the length of the foot, or
five times the diameter from one arm
pit to the other, should also give the
height of the whole body. The dis
lance from the junction of the thighs
to the ground should be exactly the
same as from that point to the crown
of the head The knee should be ex-
actly midway between the first-named
point and the ground at the heel. The
distance from the elbow to the tip
OF the middle finger should be the
same as from the elbow to the middle
line of the breast. From the top of
the head to the level Of the chin should
be the same as from the level of the
chin to the arm pits from the heel to
toe.-Chicago News
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
MESMERIST TO THE CAR.
Credited; With Power to Heal All Dis
eases by Thouqht.

Philippe, the mesmerist who a few
years ago had an extraordinary inf1u-
ence over the car, is now at Lyons
The newspapers state that Philippe
often stays with the czar at his castle
at TsarSkOeselO.
When the cZar was last in France he
summoned Philippe to Compiegne and
had an interview with him which last
ed several hours, much to the aston
ishment of the French officials 1t is
asserted that Philippe then foretold
the birth of the Czarevitch.
According to the papers Philippe
can heal all diseases by thought No
passes, no lamentations, or message
are needed. A look or thought will
suffice. But cures are only possible
when the patients relations or friends
deserve it by their moral conduct
The papers tell a story of how by
his presence Philippe cured a child
who was at deaths door with tuber-
cular meningitis. Fifty persons were
present at the time. Philippe merely
asked all present to pledge their honor
not to talk scandal for forty-eight
hours Every one protested that this
was too long, and Philippe according
ly compromised on two hours. at the
end of which time the child was cured.
The papers say that after this and
other such miracles should the people
disbelieve in Philippe they can only
say they are sorry for them.-Paris
Correspondent New York Sun
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
HIGH HOPES soon DASHED.
Count De La Vaulx illustrates Idea
With Good Story.

With Good Story.
Count Henri De La Vaulx, the noted
aeronaut. was talking about aeronaut-
les in New York
Our Aero club in Paris he said,
has 600 members. 1 am sure that
there must be quite 500 aeronauts in
America. Undoubtedly it won't be
long before flying machines will be as
common as motor cars.
THE great trouble is the immense
amount of time and money that aero
nautical experiments require. Full of
hope, you work two, three, four years.
and spend, it may be, $4,000 on a fly
ing machine, and the first time you
try it-crash-down it. drops, wreck.
Then you are. indeed, disappointed
and disheartened. You feel as a den
fist felt, of whom l heard the other
day.
"A man went to this dentist to have
a tooth pulled. He leaned back in the
chair and the dentist thrust into his
mouth pair of bright forceps, gave
jerk, then said in a complacent tone:
Aha. there's the little joker 1t
came out easy, didn't it?'
Idiot. BlCckhead,' exclaimed the
patient. That's the false tooth 1 paid
SO to have put in the other day
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
SWAIN WAS ALSO ATHLETE.
Youths knowledge of Sports Saves
Him at Crisis.

They were sitting together on the
big sofa in the drawing room, she with
her head on his shoulder and he with
his left arm around her waist and his
other hand fondly holding both of
hers For over half an hour, says the
Philadelphia Press, he had been frank
ly telling her the story of his past life
and resolving with her influence to
make a better man of himself, while
she encouraged him, telling him over
and over again that he was far better
than the average man she knew.
Mother was upstairs, supposedly
deep in a book, and the occupants of
the drawing room trusted to mothers
footsteps to warn them when they
should move to a more platonic posi-
ton.
But the young people were so deep
1y interested in each other that they
did not hear mother come down the
stairs and the first intimation of dam
ger was when they heard the knob on
the drawing room door turn.
Frantically the youth leaped from
the sofa and while he was in mid
air mother strobe majestically into the
room and saw him.
To the average youth there would
have been no escape, but this youth
with the skill of a veteran, landed
lightly on his feet and, turning to
the mother. said in the most conven-
tional tones:
why, how do you do, Mrs. -?
I was just explaining to Miss -- how
1 won the broad jump on Franklin
field. And then to carry out the gal
liant lie he demonstrated high jump
ing, sprinting, throwing the weight,
hammer-throwing and even showed the
mother and daughter how the various
position on the football team are
played.
And the best part of the whole af
fair was that mother really believed
all he said.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
A Question of cIothino.

Mr. Jones was very fond of a kind
OF boiled pudding his wife made, so
when she had gone away for an af-
ternoon and evening she promised
that she would leave one of the IA
vored pnddings in the saucepan for
his evening meal
We'll. she said on her return. "and
how did the pudding go down.
Soo-preme. said Tom, smacking
his lips at the recollection Twas
as good pudding as you have ever
made"
That's good" was the gratified re-
Spouse of Mrs. Jones. I'm glad you
enjoyed it. What did you do with the
cloth?''
For moment Mr.. Jones solemnly
surveyed her.
sWhat?" he said, did it have a
cloth on?"-London Answers.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
A Routine Session.

A prominent Missourian in Wash
ington is fond of telling anecdotes
about James Stephen Green. once a
senator from Missouri, and the leader
in the aggressive war made on Benton
by the slavery advocates in ante
bellum Missouri The one he enjoys
the mOst>and considers the best of all
illustrates Green's ready wit
One Sunday. shortly after Greens
arrival in Washington, he was asked
by a friend of his to attend services
at an Episcopal church near by Green
had never attended q service charac-
teIized by much Journalism, so he was
naturally deeply impressed. After he
Lad returned an acquaintance asked
him, Senator, what did you think of
the service?''
Well, sir Green replied, lit struck
me that there was altogether too much
reading of the journal and not enough
debate. -Saturday Evening Post
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31

: The Bye-Bye Chair |


The reign O. dad is the dusky reign:
mother may hold the throne
Ohio. then, crown o. the tasseled cap,
I'm king at night by honest right. though
a slave to trade downtown.
marching to destroy?
Invasion led by one O. rank-by Emperor
Again its proved my kingIy crown is
parlous thing to wear.
-iei of Fortress Easy Chair Tu' anu saeA
And now. retreat! My kingly ruse. The
What2 Mined beneath? Then up. white
flag. To kingly hopes FAREWELL.
to puissant Bill.
The emperor has won tonight. 1 live to
The victor's terms? Nor harsh are they;
kiss, toss or two
My tyrant. these 1 gladly yield to such
Now, crib, What. no? Your mothers
H fhe Itar Good WITH 5o
Here's Emperor Biily-boy.
May 1 sit down in Slumber-town and lis
ten to the tunes
That mother voice in cadence soft and
tender accents croons?
Let me sit down in this dear realm
The throne 10 man may e'er dispute-a
mothers Bye-Bye Chair.
I'm hungry. for the quaint old songs. old
The Now is dim. the Then shines clear
as 1 am list ming here
I feel the clasp of mother come
round in the gloom.
I seem to hear another voice within this
hallowed room.
The thrill of old-time melodies is in that
mystic sound
The sanctity of old time love encOm-
pasSeth round.
The World at times has beat back in
battles 1 have fought.
Not always has the god Success touched
tasks in which 1 wrought;
Full oft has Fortune dealt a blow instead
of bent to bless.
And heartache followed close upon the
heels of happiness.
But often when a solemn song of woe
my heart intoned.
And often when the spirit writhed and
all my nature groaned
Then stole refrain that softened pain,
not phrased by mortal tongue.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31

A grizzled, sun-tanned, Manufactured
man, whose face bore the stamp of
hardship and adventure, was sitting
in the smoking room of New York
hotel. He happened to glance at a
calendar and saw that the day was
Dec. 81.
by Jove!" he exclaimed. $50 to-
morrow is New Years day. Unless
something happens before then, it will
be the quietest New Year I've spent in
twenty three years.
I'm all that time I have never been
so near my old home in Scotland as l
am now. Often I've tried to get home,
but somehow or other New Year has
always found me in a tight corner in
some out-of-the-way part of the world"
This mans experience is typical of
that of many of the globe-trotters in
this age, when people are so fond of
'tgoing to and fro in the earth and
walking up and down in it," like GER
tain parsonage in the Book of Job.
New Years day, 1897, found one
Englishman facing death from hunger
and thirst ON board a life raft 800
miles southeast of Madagascar.
His ship -foundered seven days be-
fore in a hurricane. The boats were
some of the crew washed overheard.
The rest made a raft out of planks and
spars, but during the night high seas
swept over the frail structure and car
r1ed away most of the water and food.
"A1l we had left" said the man who
went through this terrible experience,
"were a few tins of potted meat, a
small barrel of biscuit anrd the small
est of the water casks. That was all
we had to keep life in twenty-five hun
CRY men.
1--WE made it last as long as we
could, but in four days everything was
gone. Some of the men fell into de-
spair and talked about throwing them
selves overheard. Perhaps they would
have done so, but during the night of
the fourth day half a dozen big sharks
swan around the raft in circles. The
sea was phosphorescent and we could
see them plainly in the waves of livid
fire which they stirred up as they
swan around. Even the half-crazed
men who had talked about drowning
themselves shrank from death in a
sharks NAV and stayed upon the raft.
Next morning 1 saw by a pocket
diary which 1 carried that the day was
Dec 30 To keep up the mems spirits
i told them L mad dreamed We were
going to befrescued on New Years
day. That appealed to the supersti-
ton inherent more or less in all sail
ors, SO 1 kept on telling them a ship
would come along and pick us up on
that day sure. until 1 began to believe
it myself We even discussed grave
ly whether the sail would heave in
sight in the morning or the afternoon,
and one man who said he guessed it |
would be toward evening became quite |
New Years morning broke with a |
dead calm ON the oily, blistering sea |
and blazing sky that aggravated our |
thirst tenfold- There was not a shin |
In sight all Notwithstanding except |
that CLASSY sheet of water and that |
cruel, cloudless sky above us. 1t was /
the same in tie afternoon. and our
hopes fell as the sun sank slowly to- |
ward the western horizon.
Gust as we were beginning to de- |
spai<. one of the men screamed hyster-
lcally and pointed to a thin trail at |
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
New York Sufficient Unto Itself

New York Sufficient Unto Itself.
Hoffman Howes-Bah Jove, thai
storm lawst week was a serious thini
for Moo Yawk.
Madison Square-In what way?
Hoffman Howes-Why, don't yos
remembah? 1t was impossible TO,
Moo Yawk to get news of the outside
world, don't We know.
Madison Square-But, my deah fel
lab, why should Moo Yawk wish ia
get news of the outside world Louis
vile Courier-Journal
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
Opposed to Intervention.

Il was watching the bulletins, wheyi
my attention was attracted to two
youngsters who were squared off at
each other in Queensbury style. While
watched they rolled into the gutter,
scratching like cats
Il separated the belligerents Then
they turned on me. Hey, mister, what
yer doin'?' yelled one. Can't two
friends fight without somebody buttin'
in?' 1 permitted the fight to go on"
Washington Post
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
Safety.

NJ VIII soon be possible" said tho
cnleI OF police, for people to go any
where In the city without fear of
crimes or violence"
DO you speak with knowledge ?"-
asked the fresh reporter.
sure l do" replied the chief. "The.
people are storing their automobiles
for the winter Leader
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31

smoke on the sky line. 1t was New
Zealand liner headed straight for our
raft. In a couple of hours her doctor
was giving us a hearty dinner and
Stops and weak brandy and water"
This same man spent another New
Years day off Cape Horn. He sailed
from Valparaiso in a British wind
1emmer, expecting to reach his Scot
fish home in time to spend his first
Christmas there for many years. But
Gains delayed her for weeks in the
South Pacific ocean, and when she got
OF Cape Horn she ran into a tearing
gale, which brought her mizzen top
mast down on deck and ripped out all
her sails. For days she drifted help
iessly, exposed to the full fury of the
western gale
The crew labored industriously at
rigging up spare and bending new
sails. 1t was a task of tremendous
difficulty, for giant combers rolled
over the forecast1e head continually,
filing the vessel amidships with green
seas.
Suddenly in the midst of this toll an
apprentice piped out:
Il say, fellers, this is New Years
day. Have you all forgotten it,"
Delay your tongue" retorted the
gruff old mate. There won't be any
New Year dinner to-day, except your
usual whack of lobscouse"
The skipper was experimenting the
work from the poop rail and heard the
conversation.
Cook he baw1ed out Lay aft
here!"
70 Of ,, &c u
the captain asked what he could give
them for fancy dinner
.'NCthin' but split peas, sir, an salt
horse and marmalade. There amt no
turkeys in my store-room, SIR" he said.
Lets catch one O. them BIRDS"
suggested an old tar, pointing to sew
era1 addresses which were circiing
about the wake of the ship. ''we1l
stretch a point this day and be for
given for it, 1 guess
After several attempts an albatross
was captured with a big fishhook bait
ed with salt pork and dragged aboard
friumphantly. Served up nice and
brown and swimming in gravy. it
looked SO much like a real turkey that
1t warmed up the mems hearts and
made them think of the holidays they
had spent at home. But when they
tasted it the resemblance ceased. 1t
was fishy and tough. The meat was
like knotted rope yarn and the, gravy
suggested tar. However, it was a
New Year dinner all the same, and it
was enjoyed as keen1y as the finest
feast ashore that DAY.
An American traveller, who is well
known commercially in the West In
dies, was mixed up in one of the peren-
NAL revolutions of Hayti in his hot
and foolish youth Unhappily, he al
lied himself with the weaker side, and
one New Years eve found himself one
of a small band of desperadoes de-
tending the stockaded town of Mira
goane against a government army,
which outnumbered them by more
than 100 to l.
During the night the government
soldiers forced their way into the town.
Only about thirty of the defenders
were left alive.
Stand them up in a line and shoot
them." commanded Gen. Manigat.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
Sad Case.

Hostess-My dear count, you must
pardon me, but l have such a very
poor memory of names. It's a real
ahiction. l have forgotten yours.
The count-You should gonzult
specialist on mendal diseases, my tear
madam, you really shout. My name
is MISUNDERSTANDING
York Weekly.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
An Awful Mistake

Wlfe-'My dressmaker is gettins
altogether too old-fashioned to suit
me-"
Husband-'Why, my dear, your new
gown is strictly up-to-date.
Yes, | know; but she actual.
ly sent it home the day she promised
it %
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
GLOBE TROTTERS' NEW YEARS
Love of Adventure Men Positions
of Discomfort

But they were too weak to stand,
All of them were wounded. half-staryed
and fever-stricken. So the govern
ment troops propped them up in chairs
and shot them as they Iolled there.
Only the white man was spared, in
order that his case might be INQUIRED
into.
When he protested to Gen. Manigat
against the cruelty of shooting help
less captives that triumphant warrior
merely blew cloud of cigarette smoke
and remarked calmly: "C'est la
guerre."
Late on New Years eve," said the
American, they tried me by court
martlai..rW When woke up on New
sfear's morning was in the calaboose,
sentenced to be shot at shutdown. II
wasn't very pleasant waiting. 1 was
quite glad when a gold-laced officer
entered the cell toward evening, with
paper informing me that his excel
Iency, the citizen president had been
pleased to pardon me, in consideration
of the request of the American minis
ter and OF the fact that it was New
Years day.
Il believe they had never intended
49,,
for they hardly dared to touch a white
man whose country owned a navy that
might lombard their ports ANYHOW.
| got out of Jail in time to eat my
dinner with some American and Eng
hsh friends on coffee plantation near
Miragoane'
An American globe trotter tells how
q
Ing crocodile in Jamaica, West In
dies.
After long hunt the crocodile was
found buried beneath the mud in
shallow bend of a river on the pIanta-
ton. The hunters only carried small
shotguns, which were useless against
the beasts tough hide, covered as il
was several inches deep in mud.
But the planter was a man of re-
source He sent hurried1y for negroes
and set them to work to construct two
strong walls of bamboo poles across
the bed of the stream, thus inc1osing
the crocodile in a prison from which
he could find no escape.
After the walls were built every
body hid quietly in the tall grass on
the banks and waited. Hour after
consisted of sandwiches and a flask of
rum punch.
1t was not until the end of the aft
ernoon that the crocodile, finding it
could not break through the bamboo
barriers. crept out of the water. Be-
fore it could drag the whole of its
huge carcass out of the mud it was
lassoed and hauled toward the bank by
WILLING hands
Too surprised to offer resistance, the
beast at first suffered itself to be al
most dragged on the bank; but It
caught on the edge with its forepaws
and made desperate struggle. TWEEN
ty yelling negroes hung on to the 9TH
er end of the rope, but could not drag
that crocodile up; they could only
prevent it from Topping back into the
water again Honors were even in
that terrific tug-of-war.
At last a yoke of eight oxen had to
be brought They soon dragged the
beast to the bank, where it was tied
around q tree and dispatched with
Rxes-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31

Cholly-"Percy Pink is getting more
and more effeminate every day"
Hal-"Can it be possible? Does he
still slap you on the wrist?"
Cholly-'No, he tries to stick you
with a hat-pin.''
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
An Easy One Also.

HE is simply rolling in wealth"
HE finds it a rather pleasant ro1Qs
[ presume.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31

Bay-Are you de new schoolteacher,
lady?
Lady-Yes. Why?
Boy-Nuttin' only I wanted to see
il you was all physical culture or had
a good dressmaker
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
What,s the Answer?

Jokely-Here's a conundrum for
you-s
Cokely-Lets have it,
Jokely-If time is money" what in
an eight-day clock worth.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1904-12-31
Strictly Business.

6CSIfISSSs
They had accidentally met in a city
far from home
Are you here on a pleasure trip?"
asked the scanty-haired man.
NO" replied the man with the
Willie-goat whiskers, my wife is with.
me-"
Rosebud County news. [volume] (Forsyth, Mont.) 1901-1906, 1904-05-19
THOUGHT SHE COULD WRITE.
Young Woman Had One Qualification
in Particular

Morgan Robertson, who writes Sc;
stories because he knows the sea from
an acquaintance of fifteen years, re
turned last summer to the town il
which he spent his boyhood. He was
something of lion, and was amused
to notice that certain persons who had
ignored him as youth and young
man were quite anxious to remember
and be remembered.
"One young woman came up shipper
Ing" said Mr.. Robertson, in telling OF
his visit, "and asked me if l remem.
bered her. AS had been a worshipel
at her shrine and had been frostbitteu
by her GOODNESS in years gone by, ]
remembered her and said so.
do you know she went on. 4
seems SO strange that you should be a
successful writer. But you can't tell
where genius will be found. I believe
| could write if would only try. ]
have always felt that l could write
things. l suppose you felt the same
way? Well, feel just as you did. |
am sure could write. And then |
have always thought that l was "a
little queer, too
"The way she added the too, was
delicious. New York Times.