The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-11-27

MIN pOOI 4d~oOo IA OlI RAtAAhA
must be havin' tur-rble time" said
Mr. Hennessy.
eye niver can TELL" said Mr.. Doc
lev. CIV coorse it looks as though they
were. Ivry day or two whin Port Ar
thur hasn't fallen no more or is laid
nm firm tn last fall, 1 read in tn
na-apers that tn correspondent iv tn
London Fudge, a highly onprejudiced
obsaryer or liar stationed at Chefoo
has larned firm a Chinyman, who has
ius' arrived firm Pekin on a junk that
th' conditions is something that wur-
ruds cannot describe. Says he: TIL
conditions at Port Arthur battle de-
scription an stagger tn imagination.
On'y fourteen iv tn original defenders
survive an they ar-re rayjooced to
skeletons. They live in underground
caves an cook their boots on explodin'
bombs dhropped in be tn Japanese.
Las week Gin'ral Blinkovitch shot an
kilt Gin'ral Bejeeski in a quarrel over
a bar iv soap which tn former was
atm FIR lunch. Gin'ral Stoessel has
lost both arms, a leg an tn right ear,
but he is still cheerful an las night
had his fur oVercoat cooked an SarVed
at a dinner to tn officers iv tn Pro-
tdiienky reg'mirft. He proposed
toast to tn imp'ror in kerosene. TIL
toast was SUBSEQUENTLY devoured be tn
famshed garrison. None iv tn gar
rison sleep at night much on account
iv tn heejous roar iv tn Jap'nese
shells which are dhropped into tn
town at tn rate iv wan millyon
day. Me informant tells me, an he's
nj 7 xxyt1d aopint a
soon as me own, that tn ships in tn
harbor have been convarted into junk,
which must not be confused with tn
Chinese boats iv tn same name. AS
fast as they ar-re destroyed, they ARE
eaten be tn crew. 1t is no uncommon
sight to see a starvin' Russian sailor
divin in TIL harbor FIR q cast-iron bolt
or some such toothsome morsel. Tn
intelligent Chinynlan who brought me
tn news escaped just as tn cook FIR
Gin'ral Stoessel was about to put him
in tn oVen TIL Chinese are great
sticklers FIR presarvin' their identity
afther death an this man nachrally
didn't like to jine his ancesthors in
tn shape iv Chop-sooey. Altogether
tn condition iv Port Arthur is worse
thin ye'er readers cud imagine an al
most as had as they cud hope. TIL
Port Arthur Daily Melojeen, tn only
paper now published there, has a long
kick in tn last issue about delinquent
subscribers. 1t is headed 'Meanin'
You" an goes on to say that tn iditor
an his wife mus live, that they have
jus moved into anew dug-out an that
if tn cash is not forthcomin, he will
be obliged to mintion Names
An hats what ] can't understand.
Hinnissy. How is it, dye suppose, that
if Port Arthur is so bad off, they can
have a daily paper? TIL man that
runs it must be a great journalist. 1
wudden't like to give up me paper.
It's all l have in life? But if l
was as thin as an empty hen coop an
had just devoured me las collar an if
knew that 1 wudden't make aven
dacint muss if a Jap'nese shell hit
me but wud look like a pile iv loose
lathes an shavin's sthruck be a cy-
clone, dye suppose in thin circum-
stances / wud be polite to a man who
come ar-round an offered me an onyx
clock an a hatful iv thradin' stamps
to subscribe to his pa-aper? An think
~ tn iditor. What a job! He has
aten pair iv rubber boots an washed
is down with "a pint iv ink an he
has to go out an COLLECT tn news on
his hands an knees. Thin he has to
write it up. Society jottings: Our
silves an wife attinded a mos jovyal
gdtherlng at Gin'ral PunSpinkki's pa
latchal quarthers in Boomproof A las
night. TIL jaynial gin'ral had provid-
ed bountiful repast-a beautifully
cooked war map which he had pro-
cured at great expinse. TIL Jap'nese
advanced positions fell in our lot an
we put it away with gr-reat gusto, al
though If anything there was too
much red ink on it, Our host was at
MS best an tn mornin' was far ad-
Vanced befure we reeled home. Ivry-
body agrees an injyable time was had.
Ihere is no war news, as tn London
papers ar-re onavoidably late an our
correspondent is at tn front. TIL mex
time We sind a correspondent out with
hooshan army, wen sind him to tn
rear where he can get some news
An while he's gittin' tn pa-aper
ready a Jap shell is lible to come
through TIL roof iv his office an ri
Doth him an tn form so bad that
nayther wan iv thin can be set up
again.
No, sir, If amt far out iv tn way,
tort Arthur amt sufferin' nearly as
tS as l am about It. 1t wud prob
Oiy De tn place to spind tn whittier