Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-03-12

vo;' Those three dumplings YOU
have just eaten. '--Chicago Record
Herald
Winkle-I have been over in En-
gland visiting the nobility. Van Ant
ler-What did you think of our Amer
lean girIs?-EX.
Worth the -Staylate-
May l have kiss before go? Miss
Weary | give you one will you
really go?-Judge.
Henri--lf | kissed You would you
give ii away TO your father? Marie
OF course not. What would he want
with your kisses lie Vie Parisienno
Departing Boarder-Im sorry we
couldn't get along, but hope you are
willing to let bygones be bygoues
Landlady-Does that include your
board bill Mr.. Slopay?
The Smart Man: De really smaht
man said Uncle Eben, sis lie one dat
has sense enough TO know dat he's H.
able to he fooled de same as anybody
else. - Washington Star.
Tom-Your uncle asked after your
health several times; displayed quite
a tender solicitude; in fact Dick
Yes, his Solicitude is tender, but I'M
fortunately, not legal tender.-Ex
Didn't YOU think made some rath-
er cutting remarks In my speech at the
club banquet last night2" You did.
old fellow | noticed them. You split
iutnitives right along. &c Chicago Trl-
bune
Now This won't do, you know"
What won't?" This line; Her eyes
were like stars" "Why not?" why,
poets have been using that for ages
BE up to date! Say Like radium, ~
Detroit Free Press.
The Parson-Dis am mos positively
de mos streemly juclest CHECKING
ebcr put in nah mouth, Brer Jackson.
Rrer Iackson--Tes. sab, pahsOn; dat
checking wuz raised an brung up on
watermllions. sab. Lesiie's Weekly.
Roy-My mother said there was n
pound OF sand in the last box of
prunes YOU sent up Grocer Well,
You tell your mother that was the best
scrubbing sand. She is n good Gus
TONER and threw that n.--philadcl-
phia Record.
Fond Parent Ito young hopefuD
Unless you keep your face and hands
clean. your teeth brushed, and hook
neat. the children of nice people wont
have anything to do with you--thcy
won't play with you. Young Hopeful
i bet e ! had q goat and a wagon
they would. Judge.
Gladys" said Chumiey 10 his man.
nish sister i've done so much fer
You. You should write me testimo.
NAL" "A testimonalY' Yes You
might say, Dear Brother-Once | was
timld. delicate girl, but since using
your collars, shirts and ties | have be-
come a new woman.P
Father-So you took dinner nj VIZ
lie Stout's house to-day. | hope when
II came To extra heIpings you hal
manners enough to say No" Tommy
oh. yes, sir. | said mo" several
times. Father You did, eh? Tommy
Yes, sir; Mrs. Stout kept askin me
il had enough Philadelphia Press.
Mother Elsie, your sister tells me
You took u second helping OF pudding
ut Mrs. Browns to-day. Little Elsie
SO | did. mamma DO you think that
was right. Llsle:" YES. You know
You have often told me not to contra
diet any one. aud Mrs. Brown said. 4
know Elsie win have second helping
10 pudding, and ! couidn't contradict
her, could =
The New WOmans Quandary .-.-.
Yes" the new woman remarked, II
am greatly troubied' by WHAT"
wen. want so get married. Just 10
prove that I can, and ] don't want 10
get married, just 10 prove that don't
have to. IF ] don't they'n say cant:
Il | do. they'll say ! have no more in
dependence than any other woman
Chicago Post.
odd Uncle Ben wanted to have his
portrait painted, but lac did not care
10 pas very much for H. Surely that
IL n large sum- he said, when the ar
fist named the price. The artist pro
tested and assured him that, az por-
traits went, that was very little To
ask Uncle Ben hesitated. We'll"
he said, at length how much will Il
he II | furnish the paintr
Bridget and Pat were reading an ar
ticle on The Law Of Compensation.
Just fancy" exclaimed Bridget. "Ac-
cordiu' to this whin mon loses wan
OF his sinses another gifts more de-
yeloped. For instance, a blond mon
gifts more sinse ay hearln' an touch,
an--" "Shure, an it's quite
thrue, answered Pat. "0Pve noticed
ID mesef Whln mon has wan leg
shorter than the other, begorra the
Others longer"
A country vicar gave dance tn
the farmers and tenants Of his parish.
After supper he noticed certain
farmers wife looking rather discon.