The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-03-26

ne-OO your uuSDduu nus given up
smoking? 1t requires pretty strong
will to accomplish that. She-Well,
I'd have you understand that | have
q strong willL-NewYorker.
How long shall l boil the eggs
ma'amT asked the cook. 81 don't ex
actly know" replied the young house
wife. but cook them until they are
real der."-Chicago Post.
Nodd-Awfully sorry to hear your
house burned down. Did you save
anything? Todd-Oh. yes. After some
very lively work we succeeded in get
ting out all the things we didn't want
| Town and Country.
Easy error: La Montt--Made a ter
rible blunder to-day. Saw a man In a
rubber suit and cap. and asked him II
he was a sewer-cleaner. La Moyne-
Who was he? La Montt-Millionairs
chauffeur.-Chicago News.
well, SNOWFALL" said the patron to
the dusky waiter. "how did you ever
come by a name like that well.
sab. I was born in Chicago. Reckon
| yer never seed a Chicago SNOWFALL.
| sahv'-Yonkers Statesman.
IL hear you're dissatisfied with your
doctors BILL Yes, l don't think he's
entitled to two hundred and fifty dol
lars for that operation" why nOtT
Because If he was he'd claim more"
Philadelphia Pubic Ledger.
| A way she has: Morton--Is Mrs.
Styles much of a talker7 Norton
| Much of talker should say so!
II Is impossible for her to play soil
taire intelligently--she has so much to
say to herself. you know Boston
! Transcript
! A question: She-Charles. dear,
how many teeth does a baby have?
Hc-I don't know. But | think that.
after the way I've walked the floor for
! the last six months. ours ought to have
ut least hundred and fifty by this
| tme.-DetrOit Free Press
/ Howes-DOn't like this cold wealth
er. Ell? Why. only last summer you
were complaining Of the heat Barnes
Not Of the heat itself, but rather be-
cause Of it's untimeliness. 1t would be
all right IL reserved for such weather
as this.-Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Trucker think shall give up
my business. my dear. l might as well
have some good out Of my money. Mrs.
Trucker-Oh, not yet. Samuel. But
when one Of us dies, shall give up
housekeeping and see little of the
world.-Town and Country.
Wife-There was man around to-
day selling big brass burglar alarm
bells to put on the front of the house.
so l ordered one Husband-What!
You know we haven't anything worth
stealing. Wife, know, but it will
make the neighbors think we have
Philadelphia Ledger.
"De trouble wifi dat man. said
Erasmus Pinkley, lis dat he's too am
! bilious" But he won't work" an
swered Miss Miami Brown. mo. He's
/ one O. desc people dat would rather
| imagine hsself ridin' In automobile
dan git down to business an push a
wheelbarrow."-Wa Star.
Editor In Chief Ito Office boy)-Ben-
ME, where's the theater tickets | sent
you afteri Bennie-I forgot 'em. City
! Editor-Bennie. where's that paste 1
sent you for? Bennie-I forgot 1t.
Sporting Editor-Bennie. what was
Jack Glasscock's battin' average In
1882 Bonnie promptly)-Three hun
dred and eighty six.-Cleveland Lead
er.
Turpin-Come with me to the ZOO.
| Jenks-No, thank you. I'll stay at
home. My oldest daughter does the
kangaroo walk. my second daughter
talks like a parrot. my son laughs like
a hyena. my wife watches me like q
hawk, my cook Is as cross as bear.
and my mother-in-law says I'm an old
gorilla When l go anywhere want
change.-Tit- Bits.
Icy.-"Didn't you git no money from
dat woman yer held up?" asked the
first fOotpad. "Naw," replied the 9th
err, shivering slightly; "she wuz from
Boston" "Well, Boston people has
money" "Mebbe dey has, but when
seq to her, Money or yer life, lady
she SEE, How dare We speak ter me
widout de fOrmality of Introduction?
seq she, an leaves me froze stiff
| Philadelphia Press.
There was once a minister in Hart
ford" says Mark Twain. who had
lot of boys in his Sunday school who
were in the habit OF staying away on
the Sunday when the big steamer City
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