The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-09-02
TIE NONPAREJL MAN

AAA NUM- AMGJA MAN III
Return Of the Roller Skating Craze to
steered 18o-Pound Girl Around the
Rink In 18s2-Glorlous Days of Child
hood and Youth, When the Real Estate
Boom Was on.
There is going to be roller skating
craze here this Winter Ever since we
stepped off the train at Tonka Bay last
summer and heard the familiar rolling
grind in the big rink there's while the or
"ehestra sawed off great chunks OF Be
della and tossed them out into the in
d1gnant air, ever since this familiar sound
greeted: the ear, we have felt that the
craze was coming bacl-in a modified
form perhapsAbut still a-coming.
Perhaps you remember the old rink
where the New England now sells goods
Or the big rink on Washington avenue N,
where Sullivan, Patsy Cardiff. the Black
Pearl and other gladiators did mighty
battle, and where Patti sang later on,
when the skating craze had subsidized.
Perhaps you remember taking your best
girl to skate and,y, holding her hand in
her muff on the way home, of putting on
her skates and holding her UP vi ct arms
for a. glorious hour or so until your tongue
two cords of black oak wood before
breakfast.
| Then, after you. had seated her and
Inopped your heated brow, she would cry
1seut:, e.5
/. n 4 ta.Why, if here isn't Hattie, O, Hattie,
! isn't this glorious!'
| p Then she would introduce you to Hat
tie. {. Hattie was fat {she weighed 1917.
And Hattie wanted to learn to skate! You
put. Hattie on rollers and you lift her l79
pounds out into the arena. Then woe!
Hattie clings to you like a desperate,
1 water-logged drowning sailor with a
wooden leg; she hollers a little and her
feet have a tendency to kick holes in
4 the sraftersa You tug tic keep Hattie
| above water and you perspire and cuss a
/ little. inside and from 179 pounds Hattie
/ rapidly grows to the size Of Barnun' S
tat lady in the side tent, where they keep
the human ostrich and the living skeleton.
] When Hattie cries enough" you are a
4 wreck cast upon the sands StiIl,T it is
great sport Hattie learns after awhile
Hand the: way she floats that $50 pounds
7 around the rink makes you think! that
you are fastened to a light and glad
! some balloon. Hattie's all right: She's
the mother of three now Zone in the era
! dle), but you may be pretty sure that
Hattie will try whirl at the rollers when
the rink opens, just to see if she's for
gotten how.
/ Inc Skating craze is coming Dack ana
we're glad of it! - = Z o., -,
Rev. Charles A. White, sensational
| minister OF Brooklyn, says that if it Is
wrong for man to drink rum, throw his
wife downstairs and break the bones OF
his children, it is wrong for Bishop Pot
| ter to open a hellhole (this is the pastor s
i word, not ours) with doxology and bene-
| diction. But If a man is led by his asso-
Citations to throw his wife downstairs in
a more gentlemanly and quiet manner
for throw her down he will, is it not
I a distinct and palpa]ole advance over the
old way of coarsely and roughly throwing
her downstairs, perhaps accompanied by
| profanity? - -. .." ! So. A. p.
/ We should say it was. And any insti.
i tuition that modifies and tempers this
/ throwing down process has our approval
i It is step in the right direction. JUS
4 as we prefer to see a man poison him
self mildly with tea and coffee, rather
= than to- see him poison himself fercel,
Y with northern Michigan whisky. 4 ~,:.@
i The Fairmont News tells of a grit,
girl of that place who for some weeks hat
been out on a farm of her brother-in
!, law assisting her sister in the house
work One day something went wrong
riling the girls temper and she decided
to leave at once. She was told that
team could not! beuspared, to. take her t,
IA town that day. She replied that she wa
going, anyhow. This was, about 10 o'clock
About 3 o'clock, or shortly after, thu
young woman walked into the home o
her parents in Fairmont, travel-worn ant
dusty having covered on foot the entir,
. distance between Fairmont and the hom
of her sister,. eighteen miles. Perhap
| this gives. a hint as to why her Siste
was married first. I,
: Paul F. Dehnel, one time editor of tn
II Wanda Pioneer Press, but who after
/ wards went to Detroit, Minn.,, and starte'
the Standard, Is rolling in wealth., MI
. Dehnel is, doing this roll because Of tn
sale of his Standard to two st. Clou,
printers with a wad. Mr.: Dehnel -learne,
. the trade in the office Of the Fairfa:
Standard, where he comm enced as devil
. and graduated as editor He is wei
; equipped either to enjoy great wealth o
3 to start another paper. = a.
o The time for filing was over. The graf
= ing sound had died down and ceased an
e thousands Of candidates for congress an
r other offices stood around and talked
n lover. Nearly every candidate&agreed tina
e the other candidates were "beany" an
could make no holes in their ''followings.
: There was sound Of much genial Pre-
s family and good-fellowship in the ali
Suddenly there was jar, a shoclle
quiet! Conversation was spellbound. TIL
= rumor was af1oat that Lea1zyr Jenkins wa
s distributing what was really a very goo
: cigar. Lealky Jenkins was so named be
e cause he had a leak in his roof 1t wa
t located about one inch from his nose an
n a little to the north of his chin. It rarel
o stopped. But Leaky was wiser than az
;. peared on the surface. He was giving Oh
: a:lreally good cigar! : -. &<zu.,
e 1 That would seem to settle it: IT Leak
10 Jenkins does not carry the prmarie
q hands down, our boosted liberties; .are
:. hook and the constitution is shot fuller
J. holes than a Russian ilSon. 1t is Leak
sr Jenkins or anarchy, not to say socialism
- = :. + "A. j. r.
le; -.5 |E @
n FOX HUNT WITH AN ENGINE
Is - -. f.