The Saint Paul globe., 1904-03-16
ABOUT TELEP HONlNG
STRANGE THINGS THAT HAPPEN
EVERY DAY
1t Is So Easy for q Husband to Teie-
phone That He Can't Come Up TO
Dinner-some Stories of Strange
Happenings Over the Phone.

A book might be written about the
mistakes and absurdities that occur
over the telephone lines. Nearly every
tell a good story of some kind about
our experiences. This telephoning
business certainly shows up the incon-
sistencies of human nature in strong
light. For instance, how we do fuss
and complain when the bell rings con-
stantly, as it does for many of US and
we sigh and say we get so tired of an
swering the. telephone all day long.
4 But let the line get out of order for
day or two and we will send all sorts
of messages to the main office, say it is
an outrage and go on in the most alb
surd way until 1t is repaired and then
begin at once to complain of it's ring
ing! Thus, the wisest of us. And
then the troubles with central are
innumerable. Poor, abused, overWork-
ed central, who is most always pleas
ant and is in position to be abused
by thousands of people and has to
stand it. In some queer way we al
ways blame her If the line we want is
busy and we say snippy things to
her, and wish she had not that eternal
rising infection in her voice at the end
of a sentence, especially when she says
"the line is busy" Now, of course,
nothing is the fault of central in a
way, and in another way we are justi-
fed In being horrid to her because she
is about the only outward and visible
sign of the invisible company" with
which we do business. Except, of course,
the chief operator, who, if she scents
trouble will at once turn us over to No.
or 6, which is merely very bored
masculine voice which never by any
. chance agrees with the one who dares
to complain. The writer once had the
temerity to go to the head Office of the
company" and make a complaint With
every right on her side; a man heard
her through with a stony glare, said he
thought she did not understand "our
system and proceeded to talk for
twenty minutes without stopping upon
why the company is always right if you
understand their system, and the writer
fed.
Speaking of strange things that hap
pen over the telephone, a young father
with sick baby tried to telephone for
the doctor the other night and could
not do it for the most remarkable rea-
son. His telephone was on a party
line and we all know that if ] 1 is talk
ing 2 must retire and wait for the
line. This young man was j and he
discovered that J l had tied phono-
graph to the phone in some mysterious
way, called up friend and was giv-
ing him the benefit at the other end
of the line. The young man reeited
the circumstances, that the baby was
i'll, he wanted a doctor and would not
] 1 give up the line long enough for
him to use it moment. No, ] /
would not, and the photograph pro-
7o6 70 Il ~ !,
young man was obliged to go out for
the doctor. This is merely sampla
of the strange things people do over the
telephone A druggist told the writer
recently that his customers frequently
telephoned in for stamps, wanted them
charged and sent!
The telephone is. simply a boon to
young men and young husbands who
want to stay out nights. Indeed, 1t
makes it so easy for them to let their
wives know they won't be home to
dinner, that in this way the telephone
is foe to domesticity. The man who
has to go to the expense and trouble of
calling messenger and writing a note
is more likely to go home than If he
could simply call his better half up and
explain
"Pll be home in half an hour, dear"
is the message one young husband
sends several times during the even
ing to the wife who is waiting for him.
OF course business detains him. When
woman has sat at home all day wait
ing for her liege lord and then at
o'clock he telephones that he must see
man before returning and not to wait
dinner, well, that woman is not to be
blamed for being a trifie sharp over the
telephone. The more dears he puts in
his messages the more will he bear
watching. But the space has run out
and we haven't told half the stories we
know about telephones. So this can be
continued in our next