Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-11-19
CHIMMIE FADDEN.
He J,stGes the Horse Show, and Helps to Keep Some
Easy Money Going
WRITTEN FOR THE EVENING EDWARD TowNsEND.
Copyright. 1904. E. W. Townnd)

Say what's all dis kick about de horse
show being only show for folks? Sure IT
is. Why not? What tell! Hasn't mugs
human mugs-any rights to butt into de
procession and show what dey has to be
chesty about?
| Listen! Horseshoe kind of horses what
goes to de shows well rubbed down, well
fed and housed and took care of and shined
and harnessed in de best dere is for EN-,
all de year. Dey needs no show to prove
dat dey is ristocrats. Not dem!
But wit folks. some folks. it's different.
If it wasn't for de horse show dere is tou-
sands of good folks who wouldn't never
have a chance to make a front. Dat
right. Suppose mug has made a ton i'll
Wall street what puts him a million to de
good of de game-only million-is de pa
pers filled wit fairy stories about him, so
dat his old school fellows back in de long
grass country will know dat he has landed
Not bit like 1t, wit only a million to de
good. 1t takes real killing-ten or twenty
million at de smallest-to give a man a
good notice in dc Wall street part of de
papes. SO what is poor man to do who
has cashed in for only a million or so. 1t
isn't wort speaking about IN New York,
but back in Beetville it will make sensa-
ton, and dat is what's wanted. What $
going to get him de papes? De horse show.
Sure!
1t only costs a tousand or so for a box
at de show for de season, and de expenses
after de show, suppers and de likes of
dose and dat viii buy much advert:s-
ing for de mugs wifes gowns as dozen
million strike in Wall street would done
De horses don't need it; dere ism t any
question about DER being well bred and
well trained and well hammered and well
groomed before de horse show opens, OF
wedder 1t opens or not. But wit human
! mugs it's different. Who is to know dat a
human mug is all right, is one of de Real
lhlngs, II he doesn't have chance TO prove
1t at de horse show? Say, it gives me a
pain in me temper to hear folks saying dat
dere is no reason for de horse SHOW.
Besides de mug dat has raked off a mil
lion in de fastest bulge in Debentures Pre-
ferfed, and who wants it known back where
de little fellow he went to scnool wit is
still selling ribbons and cheese over de
store counter, besides dat mug dere is Cd
ders dat has a good time at de show I'm
one Me and Duchess always has a box for
our lonelies for one night of de show Mr..
Paul always PUNCHES for season box and
Den never goes. Miss Fannie says "Why?'
Whiskers says What" Wily Wildly saws
Fudge! and OATS de kind of langwudee
Mr.. Paul gets when he says who IS going
to de box. So de box tickets is raised ont
10 duchess to whack up wit de odder opper
soivants. and OATS de reason dere is al
ways SO much style seen in Mr.. Paul's box
He never goes to de box himself for he
mas horses to show and to see so he's
pusy-too busy to see any of de show ex-
cept de horses. Mostly he rubbers de box
once during de evening to see is de upper
servants making a good front and on nv
night dere-but wait till l tell YOU
Dere Is sort of chess board printed
what has de location of all de boxes and
de names of de owners on it, and OATS for
gllnes and Stiles to buy SO dat as dey
chases around de walk under de fronts Of
de boxes dey can know who dey is rubber
ing at. Same as de horses is numbered to
tell what dey is. Only nobody what don't
already know what horse is what cares to
know, so dey consults de checker board to
find out what mug is what See? Duchess
always takes de box for her and me on de
swell night, and she saves up de best stuff
she jollies out of Miss Fannie all during
de year to flash at de public on dat night
Say, she's a dream! She's a peach with a
rosebud on de side. And I'm not so woise
at dat. Mr. Paurs close and deer fits me
better dan dey do his Jap valet so what he
don't give to me when de dew is off of 'em
/ buys at a bargain from his Jap valet, and
de Jap valet sends de price to his folks in
de old country to boost de war. On de
level. every time 1 buys fancy westcoat
off dat Jap I sinks a Russian gunboat or
puts Russian regiment of 'tillery out of
business.
Well, Duchess comes down de odder
night when / was all ready, and she says