davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

There's always some joke on the
milkman," began Senator Stewart OF
Nevada, who is recognized authority on
IacteaI fluid, and who has kept up a
constant fight for pure milk ever since
he has been in the Senate. People who
don't know stump water from pure
milk Of the COW think it's funny to guy
the milkman, but occasionally these
Smart Alecs get the rag end of the
bargain.
Il once knew a milkman, funny old
genius. who drove a steed whose archi
tectural proportions rivaled those OF the
famous Rosinante. AS the boys say. IL
was a butte. One day the old man was
trying by a vigorous application Of the
whip TO coax the animal into a gait
something faster than q walk. A young
fellow who thought he knew almost
everything. and what he didn't know
would make a big book, called out;
- say. Uncle Thad, do you know
what happened to Balaam?'
." Yes, d-n youi The same as hap
pened to mean ass spake to him.
THE pert young man wilted, and Tn
Gle Thad gave old lobe another whack
and drove on
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
WANTED GOOD NAME
FOR A SCHOOLHOUSE
District Commissioners Worried Over Appropriate APP
pelation for City's New Training School

with splendid achievements and produc-
tive Of public good. The name Of the
institution must rest above the door
as a benign influence, a soothing
charm, a cornucopia from whence shall
flow all kindly qualities and uplifting
attributes.
1t is probable the Board OF Educa-
ton may be asked TO submit sugges-
tons for the guidance of the Commits
sioners It is certain that hints from
the general public would be thankfully
received. The Commissioners would
Ike to know what name Will do the
most good in its exalted position
above the schoOlhouse door.
The decision must be reached In a
few days. Building Inspector Ashford
has notified the Commissioners that he
stands ready to put the placard in its
appointed place Except for the name
the structure Is c~-nplete and ready
for the reception % Re pupils. All the
graces and the hell 4 a kind Progi-
dence are to be invoked to help the
Commissioners choose wisely.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
STORIES BY AND ABOUT CONGRESSMAN

shell minister named Taylor Reynolds,
who holds to the belief that the world
do move" Mr.. Reynolds always ad-
vocated Democracy and plain living. and
his motto was
I'm a Democrat at the polls; wear
the britches a. home, and corn bread
and collards is good enough for any
man"
Along with his cornbread and coilards
the old gentleman had a fondness for
corn in the fluid form, and during the
summer months, when hundreds Of visi-
tors made Gainesville their home it was
a frequent treat TO have the hardshell
minister expOund his doctrines to them,
he always being bOurtifully supplied
with something for the stomach's sake.
which he did not care who saw him
sample, even during his discourse. At
one time Col. Marcellus Markham. OF
Atlanta, made an offer of 81, 900 a year to
Mr. Reynolds If he would move 20 his
city His answer was:
Il was born in Hall county: received
the spirit here. the people know me and
know them. I've never been hungry
yet. and I'm going to stay right here
where cornbread. collards. 'taters. and
good corn ticker is always handy"
Everybody and his nefghbor has been
having short or long pull with the
grippe, influenza, cold, or whatever YOU
please to term it." said Representative
Little of Arkansas. and this fact re-
minds me OF good story told by our
| family physician out home.
This good doctor was called TO the
home OF a recently rich family to see
the wife who was suffering with cold.
She was dressed in a rather SNOWY. care
fully-made deshabine, and was clearly
doing her utmost to make an Impression
and show to the pill dispenser that she
was somebody
And how is the madame today? the
doctor asked, as he sank into one of the
easy chairs.
% oh, shOckIngly NJ was the reply,
trying TO look interesting In spite of her
red nose and bIear eyes.
" "A slight cold suggested the doctor.
e No. the per-re-vailing lesgripe or in
fue-en-za,' she drawled out, pronounc-
ing the words as If endeavoring to es-
tablish the character or fashionable
woman by her elegant manner and pro-
nunciation.
e" And you are I'll. too?' said the doc
tor. almost bursting with amusement,
as he addressed the husband. a plain
blunt man, who sat near by smiling
every moment
Yes. I'm sick. too. doctor. he an
swereds wiping his nose on his coat
sleeve. I've got this cussed horse dis
temper, and none Of your les-gripee or
in-1ue-ren-Za
THE wife said Why James,, and add
ed aside to the doctor that james is not
exactly right when not in premature
health "
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

The manual training school, which has
Just been completed at the corner of
Seventh and G Streets southeast, is as
yet nameless. The District Commits
sioners want a name for it There is
some uncertainty as to what name
would be appropriate,
The time-worn phrase What's in a
name?" is being revolved in the gov
ernmental head, and so far the revolu-
tons have led 10 nothing but indie
clsion. AS much care is being observed
in the choosing Of this name as would
be expected IN selecting the appellation
for the oldest child of a President. This
newcomer in the family of District
public schools must be started on its
career under favorable auspices, and in
this connection the Commissioners are
convinced that there is much in a name
It IS all-important TO put on the
placard above the main door of the
structure an AIRY Of letters that, taken
as a whole, shall call TO the minds Of
the pupils and teachers some life filed
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

Barring the professionals there are
few men who Ike TO serve on the jury, =
says Representative Hardwick of Geor-
gia Il once heard of e man who was
summoned TO act in that capacity. and
he implored the court TO excuse him,
saying that he was not & freeholder and
therefore not qualified to serve. The
judge sized him up. and asked:
=" Where do you live. Mr.. Dash?
q" I am stopping. your honor. at the
Hotel Winsor. was the answer
" You board at the WinsOr. sup
pose?
" I take my meals there. your honor.
but have my rooms in another part CT
the city.
- You keep bachelors haII?'
" Yes. your honor
q" Been living that way longP
g Nearly year. your honor
A." You are qualified. sir. have never
known a man to keep bachelors hall
for that length OF time who had not dirt
enough in his rooms to make him a
freehoIder. You may take the oath,
sir"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
See-Sdw Election Game
Going on in BOgOta
Difficulty General Reyes Finds in Getting
Ahead of Velez as Candidate for
President of Colombia.

different story: TT was a close race.
but Velez won out by three votes"
Then each day the tide of victory
shifted from one to another without any
apparent intimation that the end OF the
counting would ever be reached. A
South American diplomatist who was
consulted about the matter said that
Colombia was showing 10 the world the
unique spectacle of an electoral college
which is governed on the same prin-
ciple as a nominating convention.
They are liable to be deadlocked for
ever" he said, unless one of the can
didates suddenly takes things in his
own hands"
Velez and Reyes are both bitter OPP
pOnents but of the two VeleZ Is the
''fre-eater" and officials here would
prefer that Reyes be chosen.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

A member OF the South Carolina dele
cation tells this good story. and says
that its truthfulness can not be doubted
by anyone who Is familiar with the re
ligious ardor Of the brother in black"
Years ago when Charleston was visit
ed by an earthquake. the negroes. or
many Of them, believed that the day Of
judgment had come, and hundreds OF
them HE'D themselves away to the COM
mons and began a series of religious
meetings. Without speaking lightly "a
these meetings. ! may say that it was
a continuous performance for as soon
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH
EVANGELISTIC SERVICES

Evangelistie services viii commence
at the First Baptist Church, Sixteenth
and o Streets tomorrow evening. and
will continue until March "a.
The Rev. c. +. Winbgler is pastor
and he will be assisted By the Rev. ".
w. Weeks, d. D., OF Toronto. Canada.
one of the most eloquent preachers OF
that country He will preach each
evening and will give Bible readings on
Wednesdays and Thursdays at O'Clock.
There viii be good music. and the
special preparations have been made.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
PORTER LIGHTED MATCH
IN GAS-FlLLED ROOM

In the Johnson Hotel yesterday. and
Charles Walker. a porter thirty-n!ne
years old. Of 80 FentOn Place northwest,
went to investigate the trouble. He
struck a match and entered the room
which was filed with fumes OF gas.
The partition between two rooms was
forthwith blown down and the negro
WAS burned about the face and hands
as a result o. the instantaneous explo-
sion. The negro received attention at
the Emergency Hospital.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

w no Is EFeSiutul OF COloInDla9
To South American diplomats in
Washington this question has become a
regular Mary Ann puzzle. The uncer-
tainty Is due TO conflicting reports re-
cetved daily as to the election of Cen
eral Reyes or his opponent. Joaquin
Velez.
Fully two months ago elections for
President of Colombia were acid One
month ago the electoral college al
Bogota met. and since then press dis
patches have told each day a different
story as to the result of the counting
OF the ballots. General Reyes wins by
handsome majority" was the tenor Of
the first dispatch sent out. and which
was confirmed here by DR. Herran-
Next can-a a message telling an entirely
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
OVER 700 OFFICERS
JOIN ASSOCIATION

More than 200 officers have Joined the
new infantry association which has
just been organized, and IL promises TO
be one OF the largest service associa-
tions in the United States. Gen. J. c.
Bates is president OF the temporary
organization recently effected. Col. J.
S. Petit is vice president and Capt
Benjamin Alvord is secretary and treas
urer.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
CHILD BROKE LEG.

Falling from first story window
while playing at 465 Maryland Avenue
southwest. yesterday afternoon, Ray
mond Waltze. thirteen years old Of
500 Maryland Avenue. struck the ground
with force and broke one of his legs.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
BAPTIZED AND HANGED.

RICHMOND, March 12.-John Glenn
e,fts. negro, was hanged at King Will
Ian Court House yesterday for murder
He was baptized by immersion IN the
box IN which his body afteTward was
shipped 10 a medical college in this
city.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
MAY BUY SUBMARINES
FOR TRAINING PURPOSES

Members Of the general STAFF Of the
army are considering the purchase Of
five submarine boats to be used by the
army in connection with the school Of
submarine defense. The boats would be
assigned 10 the entrances Of Long Isl
and Sound and Chesapeake Bay and to
San Francisco Harbor and Puget Sound
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

81 40 for extra large, 5-drawer
~ solid oak Chiffonier; equals
any chtnonier ever sold at $500.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

The Presbytery Of my state received
into its membership Rev. James Wood
row. who had caused a religious dis
cussion almost worldwide by his views
on the monkey question'-that is to say,
the descent of man-which he is sup
posed to have entertained" said Repre-
sentative Johnson of South Carolina in
the House. DIR. Woodrow was put
through a fearfully rigid examination.
Among other things he was asked II he
believed the Great Book, the Scriptures,
contained the word of God
I most certainly do he answered
d" Do you believe that Moses wrote
the Pentateuch2" asked a learned divine.
Most Of it, sir was the prompt re-
ply.
All. and what portion do you think
he did not write, DR.. Woodrow?
The account of his own death, sir.
The cloak-room contingent give Speak
er Cannon credit for this good yarn;
! There lived at Cairo. H., a we'll
known lawyer and politician, Judge
k who was a much better judge or
good liquor than legal technicalities
When the steamer City of Cairo was
launched the judge was selected to pre-
sent the officers of the vessel with
full set of national colors. a gift from
the people Of that city for which she
was named OF course there was to be
the usual feast and 'sich like for the
chosen few, and when the hundreds
gathered in the cabin and saloon. Judge
k was a little bit drier than usual,
for It had been long time between
drinks He grew restless and Impatient,
and when the final time came he said
Captain. ladies, and gentlemen:
have the honor to present you officers
these coIOrs. May we all live to see the
glorious flag OF our country wave
triumphantIy over our gravesl Great
Lord, what have I sa!52 Here captain.
take these things. I'm not right
And straightaway the judge made a
Decline for the liquid refreshments anc
It took three friends and wagon TO
get him home.
General Perkins and Tom Marshall
were canvassing the State in hotly
contested election" relates Representa-
tive Kehoe. of Kentucky, while tslking
about the great orator, "and II was
General Perkins great play to bring
out IN the strongest possible language
that his father was a cooper In one Of
the lower counties This. he thought,
would make him solid with the labor
ing classes. The general was a good
Democrat. and the moro le drank the
stronger Democrat he bec,me. and the
louder he told about his father being
an humble cooper.
When Tom Corwin got a whack at
him he wound him up in this way:
q" Friends and fellow-citizens, General
Perkins father may have been a
cooper. and a very good one-I don't
deny that: but do say. my friends, he
put powerful poor head In that whisky
barrel.
AS Corwin said this he pointed at
/ General Perkins. who was nodding IN
his seat on the platform. and the crowd
raised such a yen that the general
said he would not continue the cam
paign II Corwin was going to indulge
/ 10 personalities"
Down in Representative Tate's dis
| trict in Georgia there lived-and, per
haps he is still living-an aged hard
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

Down in Representative Tate's dis
trict in Georgia there Hved-and. per-
haps he is still living-an aged hard
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

as one brother or sister had exhausted
his or her power OF prayer or dissect-
ing Of the Scriptures. another would
take hold and hold forth until he or she
was exhausted, and then another would
light In. and thus II would continue day
and night.
"One lusty brother declared that there
was not the least doubt but that the
great day had come, and all who were
not safe IN the old ship Of Zion would
be lost: the tumbling down OF the
houses and rumbliug noises they had
heard were simply warnings 10 make
ready for the anal stroke which would
wipe everything off the face Of the
earth. The flock was in fearfule state
Of excitement. Truth IS, my friends, IL
was a time to stand with fear and
trembling, for one who has once felt
severe earthquake can never forget the
awful experience. But the colored brother
closed with a prayer. winding UP In
this way:
Now. Lord. you knows our condl-
ton. Come down and help US now.
Dis amt no child's play. Don't wait to
send your son, but CO ne yourself Tor
we's at our ropes end
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1904-12-17

Then the coicnces ended Wiatyd approaching mnofced
Called them loudly gree'gial YET Of the foycd"
Swy oogd eyes turned and making path through The middle
Sae, srncoe difdcd closed on the Strangers
"WhO yon Whence come and @ seek yoa said Had ad1Gg
"KHmat gvug greeting yon OF the brotherhood GermGa
Se1dnt am Of the 4H-Flther bringing Op message"
"IVeonc then F1snGa" said HnJdd miracle Oken
May" dp0crcd Wifrcd "nofopy the dA-Fahe gieh
that he gltS miracle thee"
"St1ud then aside uttered HRHad oHh attitude od;
But to The multitude sbeaFiagNone of the gifts that Je offer
Thor mighty Thor a aoy apg bit yow best and your de1ye
Then NOTING rh0e the children matching the sparks afwod ddtg
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1904-12-17

Co"'''"S "oDSHi' ana 'oo'aS no" "aa
Co'i"1'0" +" "u lo''" G'aae,
u.s. 'oHe'. d S''VHy r''''"g nae
Beats 10 us headloHg, mad career
ON rocky barriers, bold dnd sheer
Then GudhaG striking apih his SPEAR
Said "AR arc speaking. Lei rs hear
The stranger. We his cause aoW ty
dnd iphc'hcy he 5haRhgc or die.'
Then VlWred-dya5yug from his breast
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1904-12-17

40 Thor thou mighty onti
Strong son of Odm
Weld not thy hammer
On us defcnStlcs5j
Blood lpiR aye gicc 10 thee,
Bathing thy ihnmdcr-oak,
SiccdS that arc fccte5i--
Best Of orr fockS and herds
Sacrifice TO thee" 4
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1904-12-17
THE CHRISTMAS NEWS s25.oo PRIZE POEM

SROzEN and dcdy The foy The ,dcsrcchmg ark Forest
IQ Iaa Of uhtt Gothic arches me uoo-odep branches displayed
J(V Peril Of uY and bear Of rbfmlan ca than either
Naond me tooeay band The road NE old Romans had made
E1eo birth Of the ChTaoH rhh safety and peace tt behind mc
orp@d hy pressed, for the daylight aa ,dtdIy fading nroy
Umtfd apostle Germany truccy young Gycgoy his comradr,
FOHoued by less than score 10 protect them from harm The woE
Hos let yca' said young Gytgot "y the horses Ocary,
Dark gyoay the road through The Forest ht BY the faascfng a
"Cowagr my cOHod" said Tbfd soon uH the shine abo,e u.s.
Nor must acc pause in journey nah all orr Grand is donc
"Yodo whee opens me glade and The forest rcd aah the freight
Uadr me ndeyoaks shade are The altar and hammer Of Thor
This the Ynehd and thG the heather haze gathered UcrSu
P,dci1ng boihyJy rites that inctc them q carnage and wOr
Ledng the Scd The GioDs rYtb u0 tusy fo3ocS gtordHg
Winirtd and Gegov led oHolyd to ohGc muiryde
Stood great of people, ali facing their priest the altar
While IN thc the hwdty-oat camned goa of the frchgh
Loudly aus Hmrdd dsodnng enforcing oih gcaataton
"Ts is the ddhnH cried M "of the Sm-god the beautiful Bdiw
Therefore the gods all grrng; bit Thor th his people angry
We haze neglected his altar and thirsty for blood his oakyee
Therefore the Sd,5 and the Wd dca yone ajd beasts dtom
Therefore your failed the plague into dyag&
Then did he pause ohae the 8oehei ooc all blended IN chanting
Sang sgth fear Of intending disaster their song beHtah0l
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1904-12-17

Ind place tin your home tonight
In peace and ioge as Yplcfidc rite.
See ho,o Us branches reaching high
Point from me earth up to the sky
and c00grceH may fly be
4 sign Of Immortality"
So then they took the Ethe Tree
To 'vheye beyond the glade
The team ,oas left, and on the sIedge
II carefully pas laid;
The horses tossed their heads, as though
Their load adS lighter made.
And IN Me hall they set itsb
win candles cleaning bright
And Wmfricd stood and told about
The first glad Christmas night,
The Shepherds, and the young Chn5f-chad
ind host Of AHgels Vhiie.
lind M'He Bernhard sUho had dogcd
Upon his mothers knee,
Reused up and said "The angels whas
Are singing no,v 10 me-"
Bit Il adS Gycgor and the men
WHO thus beside the trrs--
Sang "Gloy be TO God on high,
And on the earth be Peace,
Lei bitter hate and angry strife
Ind cruel bioodshed cease,
And Charity and right GOodJgW
BEGIN and ntvey cease"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1904-06-21
ALL RosEATE re- ROOSEVELT
President Pins His Faith to the Young
Men of the Party.

Washington Jne 81 - President
Roosevelt is not bit dismayed at the
reports from Chicago of growing on
the part of the old party men. He con-
siders that this only adds to his
strength with the younger and more
progressive element OF the republican
party, upon which he places his great
est dependence He is advised hourly
of the development of the situation.
President Roosevelt had long talk
with Secretary Cortelyou. who returned
from New York Sunday morning. Mr..
CortelyDu started for Chicago today.
Secretary Moody also conferred with
the President about the political sit
uation.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1904-06-21

been restrained by injunction 1ron
giving illegal rebates to the favored
shippers, who by means of them were
driving out the smaller shippers ana
monopolizing the grain and meat busi-
ness of the country The beef trust
was put under injunction. The officers
of the railroads engaged in the cotton
carrying pool, affecting all that great
industry of the south, We're indicted
and have abandoned their complna-
tions. The Northern Securities Com
pany which undertook by comblnlhS III
one ownership the capital stocks OF the
Northern Pacific and Great Northern
railroads to end traffic competition IN
the northwest. has been destroyed by
vigorous prosecution expedited anu
brought to a speedy and effective con-
clusion in the supreme court.
ITO increase the profit OF the farm
er's toll. to protect the farmers product
and extend his market, and to improve
the conditions of the farmers life; to
advance the time when America shall
raise within her own limits every pro-
duct of the soil consumed by her people
as she makes Wllnln nef OWL illllltS
every necessary product of manufac-
ture,--these have been cardinal objects
of republican administration; and W.
show record of practical things don
toward the accomplishment of thes'
objects never before approached"
THE Platt amendment is the sheet
anchor of Cuban independence and
Cuban credit. No such revolutions as
have afflicted Central and South Amer
lea are possible there, because il
known to all men that an attempt to
oyerturn the foundations of that gov
ernment will be confronted by the over
whelming power of the United States
The treaty of reciprocity and the act
of congress of December 6, 1908, which
confirmed 1t. completed the expression
of our policy towards Cuba; which with
q far view to the future aims to bind
to us by ties of benefit and protection,
of mutual interest and genuine friend
ship, that island which guards the Car
ibbean and the highway to the isthmus.
and must always be. IL hostile, an out
post of attack. and, If friendly. an ou-
post of defense for the United States"