The San Francisco call., 1904-07-18
LGrking' in Commons.
pe.'

One afternoon the devotion Of hon
orable members to their Parliamen-
tary duties was somewhat slack. and
only a handful of semi-somnolent leg
islators dotted the green benches. For
some reason the Liberals were trying
10 obtain a count out" while their
pOIiticals opponents endeavored to
keep q House" As everybody knows,
II the Speakers attention is called to
The fact that there are not forty mem
bers present, the House may be
counted out Things being thus, in
the lobby Mr.. Labouchere ran across
youthful Conservative.
What's going on?" asked the new
conner.
only count. I'll pair with you
II YOU like" airIly responded "Labby.
The novice accepted, and, the small
number OF members present being
thus reduced by two, the House was
duly counted out. IL was only when
he came TO reflect that you cannot
pair for count that the young Con-
servative realized how very neatly he
had been done by the artful La
bouchere.
The most audacious hoax ever per-
petrated on the House was the inven-
ton OF a couple of irresponsible jour
nalists. A more than usually impor-
tant bye-election was pending. and it
was known that the result would be a
close thing. though. as is usual in such
cases. both sides were confident of vic
tory. Mr. Balfour. then Chief Secre-
tary for ireland. was speaking when a
telegram was handed to the chief
Liberal Whip.
We've won," he cried. waving the
pink slip over his head, while his
party roared their eXultation again
and again. Suddenly through the doors
darted Sir Ellis Ashmead- Bartlett, his
! glasses cleaning with excitement. He.
/ too fiourished a telegram; he. too.
/ beamed triumph all around; and from
/ the Conservative hosts there rose
another and louder shout.
] The lately rejoicing Opposition looked
/ puzzled and anxious, for their own
candidate had in reality been defeated.
! The reckless testers aforesaid had ar
ranged FOR confederate to dispatch a
4 bogus result to be wired to the Chief
/ Whip OF the beaten party so soon as
/ the counting Of the votes had advanced
1 far enough 10 give the result The
! official telegram giving the real result
/ did not arrive. as we have seen. till
after the anxious Liberals had been
/ imposed upon.
Only once have strangers been dis
/ covered on the sacred floor OF the Cham
J h. -
tlemen stood on end one afternoon
when some one pointed out two very
respectable looking members of the
public calmly listening to the debate
from one of the benches below the
gangway
They turned out to be two country
people up for a holiday in London,
who had planned TO watch a debate
from the Strangers Gallery. While
they were waiting in the lobby for
their member 10 obtain passes for the
gallery. some joker among the loungers
there had directed them TO go straight
on" into the Chamber itself In their
rural simplicity this they did. but to
this day il remains a mystery how they
managed 10 evade the vigilance Of the
doorkeepers-
We have seen how even the wary
1 Whip may fall victim 20 the wiles OF
the practical joker: but when that
astute and resourceful person takes a
hand in a game his efforts are general
/ ly successful a clever strategem OF
the chief Opposition Whip led to the
defeat OF the Disraeh administration.
A big division was expected, and tbs
Government Whips had organized q
] special service OF messengers for the
purpose OF summoning their wandering
aock from dinner, club. party ol
theater, according as their tastes o,
social engagements led them so thai
every available vote might be recorded
At that time the nimble bicycle wa:
not in general use. and the messenger:
were generally sent in cabs.
When the hour OF the division drew
nigh. not a solitary cab ives seen IL
the neighborhood. The Opposition
Whips had chartered them all. and
got them safely out OF the way. 81
that Palace Yard was bereft of every
single vehicle.-London Answers.