The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-09-01
HISTORY MADE UP BY A CHAPMAN.
Joe Letter Tells of . Ride In Paris Whers
 He Heard That Washington and Co-

soc Letter Tells of Ride In Paris Where He Heard That Washington and Co- lumbus were Twins. Joe Leiteer told this story for the Louis- vile Herald the other day.
 Tn Paris one autumnal afternoon, nn- other American and bdarded carriage
 :. Where shall I tell the oaboy to take
 We ooked at the statue.
 oh, anywhere said 1.
 Accordingly he told the man to drive us to the tomb of George Washington. ''The cabby bowed Eravely and whipped up. For an hour he fooled here and there. and up and down and fsngiiy he grass
 1" Behold. sirs.' he said, the tomb of the great. immortal George Washington
 7" But. why said my friend does the inscription here refer to Christopher Co., iumbus7'
 were twin brothers. and died in each others
 Iner~fibie Profit of Usarers.
 Rudolph q reckeis, of San Francisco, told the Los Angeles Times of a young san Franciscan who had answered a usuref's advertisement The advertisement was an rity than the borrowers salary. The young man visited the usurer and a'A,nged detailA for loan of $500. It tooS week or young man caisd for his money
 We are ready for you. sir, at last" the usurer said politely. You want sboo Here tt and you want the money for a year Thus there is just this s200 coming to you" The young San Franciscan laughed bitter If I wanted , for two years." he said "there'd, be something coming to ypA wouldn't there?"
 He needed the loan. but be was man enough. nevertheless to sparn these terms
 Treated Only Now and Then. The Baron de St. Mare was one of the dis tinguished patrons of the Atlantic City Horse Show, on certain afternoon there, apropos of charity. he said: Tn London I was walking down New Bond Street when a beggar approached me. cd by a dog on string;
 " Ny dear fellow I said. as I fisnsd 2 " Yes, your honor,' yhe answered sadly.
 " Have you ever been treatedf'' went
 |" only now and then. sir said the beg gar. Folks are mostly too proud to Do seen goin' into the tavsrns with the likes SdistooIs Grasshopner for { Glove. representative from West Virginia who dropped into Washington to do little Pres tdential making, tells the Times this sto- Tn one of the villages of my district there is one member Of the bar who does little else besides talk politics and punish booze In ordar to keep up appearances and please his daughter he goes to church occa- sionally. Not many Sundays ago he was in his pew, more than half asleep and about nose full, when his daughter picked grass hopper off her dress and nudged the drow. sy father. handing him the grasshopper 60 that he might throw 1t out of the win- dow. He took it with eyes half open. and thinking 1t a elove, pushed 1t in his mouth There was q sputtsring which disturbed the whole congregation, and the old man be- Ieved so. strongly that a joke had been played dn Shim that he vowed never to att tend church again"
 No Cow for the Drawing Room.
 A woman of newly acquired wealth went Into an art gallery the other day and said she wanted a painting of a certain size. Bya the Louisville Herald
 'T have just what you want, the dealer assured her, as he showed her genuine Troyon of the desired size. a beautiful ani- nal painting
 The woman looked at it for few minutes and shook her head.
 Tt won't do," she said; T swant this pic~ ture for my drawing room"
 ''WeIl?" questioned the dealer. who saw no reason for the objection so far as the drawing rom was concerned
 You couldn't have COW in the drawing room, you know"
 And that ended it.