The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1904-08-05
BIG STINK
KICKED UP
OVER THE DIRTY WAY ONE WAS
CHEATED OUT OF DEMOCRATIC
NOMINATION. FOR SHERIFF.
Deputyships Promised to Get Votes and
Row Happens With Committee to Get
Delezates-various Other Pointers On
How It Was Done.
Dieter 30. p.

Dieter No. -
Frog Hollow. W. Va, July %, 1904
Mr.. Bill Bliss,
Tad Pole Den, Ohio.
Ny Dear Billy
WI, Bill, what with tne hay cutter
and slopen the pigs anu -oin chores fol
Sally night and mornin, I've bin SO all.
fired put to it fur time to rite even Q
short letter. But here goes it. You
said in your letter that I was to keer
you posted as to how the porlitical sit
uations was comen on. Wal, them el
durn fule Demererats have kicked W
the biggest stink youens ever nern te
Of I tux Sally to town just so I coud
see and here what was goen on. They
are iist yelIen "dirt, dirt" on all sides
They can't get over how writeman wa.
dun up in tn Demercrat convenshun
You know whar TUX you to see en-
digen coal, oil, gas all at the same time
Well, that's called "big Eagletree dis.
trickt." Well, that dear old Puddenhead
went over thar a seu days afore the
Demercrat PRIMARIES and said to Mr.
Lonesome Gnrfish: "My det.r Ionic, ii
you will cock and prime old Eagletree
I'll make you my 40 deputy with a
salary Of everything loose nthe way
of Orprants patrimony, you can scoop
mp. It's a big bushes when you man.
age it right, Lonesome" So on the day
of the primary Lonesome managed to
have himself put on a committy to kicl;
out delegates. So when that solemn
anti-chamber was reached Lonesome
produced from his britches pocket a
paper with the 10 delegates, all slated
well. Mr.. Dick Rufus, he just cussed,
an after so much wrangle, Ionic hand
ed several of his kicked men by letten
on like he was fur Writeman. Well,
poor Mr.. Rufus, he's just cussen himself
and because he didn't just go to Lone
some and take him by tn bosom of the
pants and boost him out the winder and
expose the whole rotten game there an
then.
Mall, Bill. ~that't pirty dirty, you
will say" but how about men swaren
they were for writeman in open con.
venshut to git put on as delegates and
then fopepn. You know, Bill, 1 esteme
sich traitors as Mr.. Huley juicy, Tom.
mie Backbone and Johney Donkey, as
about At to assorserate with Judus only
difference they played traitor for a
nifty heap les nor Judus did; theyens
diden't get the 80 peaces of silver they
war to git them playen deputies or sum
sich thing spose. Say, Bill, teller is
a cussed fule for sellin ont ON sicn on
cerun promises as Puddenhads election,
fur he stands about as much chanse as
a snow bail does in -, well in a gas
stove. Well, Bill, the latest thing is
long-Iegged imam of the CLOTH from
Nolehill cummen into Harson Comfy to
try an nose up the indorsment of the
Prohibitions to Puddenneads side of
the fence. Well. I'll be gol darned, Bill,
if party that has to tag on to the tale
end of sum Other party amt purity furn-
cd hard mp fur timbur in their own rank
I'd disband ii l cudcnt go it alone, by
gosh would just wonder tho if they
will be gulled like theyens wuz, wnen
little Pennysucker war out fur offise.
How he got down a'swared to them er
Proerbitions that he woudent use any
thing to drink. stronger lemonad and
butttSnilk, and by gosh, Bill, they ups
and indorces him and his general in chief
Horndipper actually ships bad buzze by
the gal, at er clip into all them ere
doubtful places. Bill. do youns sup
pose fur minet that this ere campain
will be any cleaner than . years ago.
If the Prohibitions ar cought in sich
burned dirty crowd any more Pm
thinker the good people will say, %here
you'll git licked, not but what your all
rite, but its case of ole dog Tray"
I've writ purity smart fur harvest tim
but Billy, Pm got jist heaps more to
tell yous. As 1 said afore Teller on
the outside of polerticlzs can see heap
sight more than them what's in poler-
ticks.
Say Bill, Sally was loosen over my
sholder and she says spell jist aful. but
tol her as how Bill and cud understan
tothers letters all rite.
Yours etc, til next time.
U. S. ADAM.