The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-10-08
Some Clever Verses

/ some clever verses.
There are two new songs in Babes il
Toyland." and, from the audiences stand
! point at least, both are good. In the verse
the better of the two is 7 Can Do thu
sum" which has replaced Jane" suns
! by the Piper children and Mabel Barrison
Some OF the verses follow
If a steamship weighed ten thousand tons
And sailed five thousand miles.
! With a cargo large of overshoes
And carving knives and files,
If the inmates were almost six feet high
| And the Dos n near the same,
/ Would you subtract or multiply
| To find the captains name?
CHORUS
Put down six and carry two.
Gee. but this is bard to 90!
/ You can think and think and think
/ Till your brains are numb;
1 don't care what teacher says,
| L can't do the sum.
If Clarence took fair Gwendolen
Out for an auto ride,
/ And if at sixty miles an hour
One kiss TO capture tried,
And quite forgot the steering gear,
On her honeyed lips to sup,
How soon could twenty men with broorns
Sweep Clare and Gwennle up?
If Harold took sweet Imogene
With him one night to dine.
And ordered half the bill of fare,
With cataracts of vine,
If the bill were thirteen ninety-flve
And poor Harold had but four,
How many things would Harold strike
Before he struck the door?
If woman had an English pug,
Ten children and 4 cat,
And she tried in seven hours to find
A forty dollar fiat,
With naught but sunny outside rooms,
In n neighbOrhOOd of tone,
How old would those ten children be
Before they found homer
If pound of prunes cost thirtsen cents
At half past one today,
And the grocer is so bald he wears
y dollar FIVE touDee,
And if with every pound of tea
He will give two cut glass plates
How soon will Willie break his face
On his new roller skates?
If in our day the Japs should sink eleven
And capture seven others before the day
If they should lose 1o.eoo men and money
How long win it take Russia to get it in
the neck?
Put down six and carry twoskv.
Gee. but the Japs are hard TO doosky!
They must be full of rumslxi,
And l don't think it will BE- long
Before they are on the bumski.
The second song is called Beatrice
Barefacts. and is sung by Mr. Martinetti
and Miss De Sousa. The verse reads:
Dear Beatrice Barefacts. country girl
Next month I'm going down to town.
So tell me how to make a gown of scraps
that I've put by.
I've carefully saved up a skirt of pur-
pie plush;
With this would it be quite in taste to
wear yellow waist?
Your answer quickly rush.
,,os,,,- y
Tush! Tush! Tush! Tushi Dear Maud,
you make me SILVER;
That dress worn on. a ferry boat would
scare away the river.
Mary and Marmaduke-
Oh, write to Beat Barefacts whenever
you are in doubt,
Oh. she viii help you out; she will put
your doubt to rout.
The talented Miss Barefacts she tells a
In the Perfect Ladies column of the wo-
man s Home MagOOi
Dear Beatrice Barefacts, am a nice
young man;
I . not drink or smoke or swear; I tint
my nails and bang my hair,
And cards and races ban
Ny salary is small, 1 beg to say:
Now. would you wed and start a home on
eighty cents a day?
Marmaduke-
Nay Nay! Nay. Nay. Dear Claud, there's
A home on eighty cents day would last
just eighty minutes.
Dear Beatrice Barefacts am I in love or
since a certain party saw
I sleep and smile and eat no more. but
weep awful lot.
Whenever 1 meet him I'm frozen to the
Ny. blood goes rushing to my head;
know my nose turns fiery red
Can this be love or what?
Marmaduke-
Dear me. Dear me- Louise. it is a ques-
You have a dreadful case of love or