davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09

Had this state of aifs.-s continued,
Addle would soon hav. fatally disse.n-
mated all the rats End dogs in town.
The best-laid plans or mice and
men oft-times bic like serpent and
sting like a gad-snappcr." to quote
the stirring words of one of the slick
est poets that ever scratched his head
with two-cent pencil THAT
quotation seems a tritie tangled. but
like the mills OF the gods. 10 which
serious reference has been made, it will
get there all the same)
Prof. Addle was the possessor of n
bos-a bovine-that was in his eyes. all
that COW should be. and he loved her
accordingly. He fed and attended her
himself. II was his own hands that
wooed forth the lac,eal stream. and
when she kicked in her open-hearted
unreservcd way. Addle did his OWL
jumping ont of the way.
"One afternoon. the COW manifested
strange symptoms. She blatted in .
low. soulful key. rolled her eyes ap-
pealingly upward. and seemed as il
about 20 have a fiji or compose an Ode
to the Cowslip. Aadle was alarmed
and. rushing hastily into his den, be.
gan frantic search for one of mis-
earlier inventions-a condition pow.
deror health compeller.
In MS haste he got hold of the
wrong box. ard proceeded To give the
COW an enormous dose of the Superer
ogatory CAMS Dissemination. Then,
the COW being inclined To wet her
whistle. she was permitted To imbibe
a full bucket of water. After which
there occurred complication of sur
prises that nearly ourdied the red cor.
puscles in the veins of Prof Socrates
Addle.
The COW gave a sudden start Of
alright as she experienced a novel
internal sensation. and. the next mo.
ment Addle found himself kicked
clean through the barb wire fence
while the cow went out of the yard in
the opposite direction. without waiting
for the gate to be opened. and dashed
down the street like an airy whirl
wind
las tie Dissemination began To get
in its work the COW began TO swell.
and by the time She got down town.
was fully twice her ordinary size and
still swelling.
n large crowd had gathered around
a street auctioneer. and into its very
midst bounced the now horribly bloat-
Cd COW. believing like a blown-cui
boiler at dusk Within the circle she
forced her way. ard casting a re
proachful glance about her. like Soc
rates with the poison bowl in MS
hands. proceeded TO throw her whole
soul into exploding.
The inventor hurrying down the
road. heard heavy 'kerbunk'-saw a
wild scattering Of the crowd-behelj
n chunk of flesh with piece of twink
ling tell 10 it soaring aloft. and the
auctloner sailing after il with long
word sticking out of his mouth.
There came burst of awful sound.
The COW. oh where was she?
The account of the shower of flesh
in that locality tells of her where
abouts.''
And the man from the metropolis
gathered unto himself his gripsack
and HE'D himself in the direction OF
the midnight train.
Fact: but the invidious clerk has
already covered one whole side of the
Duffy House with figures. trying to
cipher out whether or not the man
from the metropolis lied.-Good Liter
ature
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
CARVING 1000 Years Old Found.

A remarkable piece of antique In
dian carving, which must be nearly o
thousand years old. was dug up in
making an excavation in the center Of
Vancouver, b. c. The carving is OF
brown sandstone. and the work must
have been done with sharp piece Of
flint or slate. 1t is in two sections
one being a bowl and the other a
bears head. II was found under the
decayed stump of an immense cedar
tree. and may have been placed there
before the tree began TO grow and long
before Columbus had any thought Of
discovering America.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Same in Any Ace.

When | was young we hal a proper
respect for our parents, is an express
sion with which we are all familiar
and il one were in the least
inclined to take gloomy view
of things the parental pessimist
might seem to be developing at an
alarming rate. but There's nothing
either good or bad. but thinking makes
ii so. and if girls are being perpetual
~ told that freedom is their rightful
position. that they ought not to have
more restrictions than their brothers,
that mothers want managing" and
training" and all the rest of it. what
wonder if they begin To fancy them.
selves always right and their elders
always wrong; and. again. when moth
ers and fathers are having il perpet.
ually dinned in their ears that the pre-
sent system of education makes girls
selfish and insolent. that most girls
are unmanageable nowadays, they.
too. come to believe large portion
Of il. and. seeing through these lenses
the faults that are common to all girls
III an dStS, iiilstStlic the present Scu-
Grafton to be the worst on record.
Doubtless we do err in our present
lax system of dealing with young PEG.
pie, who. like young animals, necI
discipline. and. when they come to
years of discretion. are always crate.
full for having had it, But the spirit
of camaraderie which ought to exist
between a girl and her mother. the rev.
erent love which the former should
have for the latter. and the unselfish
devotion and pardonable pride which
the mother snould show in her daugh.
ter. are not to be produced by encour-
aging girls to air their grievances"
and parents 10 blame their children
This sort OF thing does not make home
life sweet. nor does il tend To aid d
nestle pcacc.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
ADDED TO HIS DIGNITY.
Newly-Elected Congressman Con-
seious of the Honor.

Newly-Elected Congressman Con
scious of the Honor.
He was a large man and his bosom
swelled with pride as he stepped up
IL the desk and registered. 1t was evi,
dent that he knew he was a man OF
distinction.
The clerk glanced at the name and
was puzzled.
Haven't you stopped with us be-
fore. MIR. Barker?" asked the clerk.
Dozens of times answered the
large man.
4 thought I recognized YOU" said
the clerk. but there seems to have
been change in your name"
There has been" asserted the
large man; IA most important
change
You always registered before as
John Barker. and now you have i,
II. ]. Barker
large man. Il guess you haven't heard
from my district or you wouldn't
worry about that. I've been elected
IT, Congress-"
oh. said the clerk. puzzled.
That gives me another initial,
doesn't it,
Il don't quite sec"
What a laundering lot of ignor-
ance some of you city people have
That makes me Honorable John Bar
ker. doesn't it? And that's II. j. Bar
her for short, amt it?"
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Railroad Ties of Leather.

The invention of a leather crosstie,
designed to take the place of sleepers
made of wood, is attracting attention
in railroad circles.
+. w. Dunnell of West Warren
Mass. is the inventor. In the manu-
facture of his crosstie. which weighs
rs pounds, the scrap leather from
shoe shops is taken into a disintagra
tor, ground fine, subjected to a re
fining process and nodded.
The tension of the molding machine
can be SO regulated that ties HARD
enough to take spike or ties through
which spike cannot be driven can be
turned out.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
a Maiden's Troubles.

Helen-Gertrude lay awake almost
The whole night last night worrying.
Clifford-What was she worrying
about?
Hclen- Oh. she's afraid the man s1e
is going to marry may love her more
fer her money than for herself.
Clifford-Why. Gertrude hasn't any
money 10 speak Of
Helen-I know. but she has rich
relative somewhere in the old conn-
try and she thinks he may leave her
sometaing.
>.lifford-But does her fiancc know
of this rich relative?
Eelen-Oh. she hasn't any fiance
yet; she's thinking of the time when
she will have one.---Kansas City Jour
nal.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
THY HANDS ARE TWAIN.

Thy hands are twain: bv one, lifc's bane
Beat back. with blow ON blow:
BY one, with toll. with tireless mol,
Make thou elysium grow,
While tocsins fierce rererberate:
While rocks unhtwn of work await:
One hand Ia war must pledge;
Must swing. with one. the sledge,
Thy hands are twain: by one, let gain
Heap high thy golden store:
BY one, then give. thy joy may live
In lives bereft and poor.
Let no hand dare be niserly
But that another eagerly
From Golfers huge and deep
May bless Gods faintiIig sheep,
Thy hands are twain: by one. with pain
Seize fast some lofty crag;
BY one. then clasp some brothers grasp
Who else may downward drag.
Thy hands are twain for self in vaini
Thy hands despair shall grip but air
III both dare clutch the sky
And leave brother die.
L. Nj. Waterman, in Sunday School
Times.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Fashion Notes.

Pastel blue is a new and fashionable
color.
BrCcade silks are back in favor. In
deed, lowered patterns are obtaining
even among the vclvcts.
Chiffon velvet is the elegant fabri,
for dinner gowns. When the colcr i.
shaded into three tones it is most
fashionable.
White cloth is one of the prettiesi
fabrics for the reception gown, espe
clally if it is relieved with embroidery
or insertions of some contracting tint
Odd shades of velvet. made I'M in
picturesque style with deep pointed
lace cuffs. lace collar, deep ieweled
girdle. on long flowing and graceful
lines. are much favored for house
wear this season.
The latest and smartest stuffs for
house gowns are all of the transpar.
ent kind. being of lace. chiffon. chit
fonette. etc. Liberty satin. crepe de
chine, crepe dc Paris. all in delicate
shadings. and deliberately garnitured
with lace and Nd is they. are also in
vogue. iwenty-tve
- BEST OF tu,.
Though Their shire, \
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
/. Feminine Footwear.

Daintiness and grace are the fea-
lures of the shoes and slippers that
maid and matron will wear on coca
sions' during the gay season. Wheth-
ec for dancing or simply for afternoon
teas and receptions the high.heeled,
very high indeed. shoes seem To be
the thing that shoe makers beguile
their fair customers into wearing For
the most part these are strapped and
many Of them have huge rosettes of
fluffy maline or fat ones of panne vel
vet just at the TIP of the arching in
step. Then. too. stiff. quaint rosettes
of satin sometimes are perched where
the shoe is tied.
Slipper and shoe this year match
tho gown in tone. and the hose is also
always CS the same hue. In the foot
gear n little choice is permitted the
fair one. for the shoe may he of kid.
silk or satin. enc being as fashionable
as the other. These may be plain or
studded with pearls. jet or steel. ac-
cording 10 fancy. A great favorite with
the young woman. of today is the
strapped shoe, many wearing those
strapped from the insteD away down
TO the edge of the toe.
The footwear provided for the wee
ones by fond mammals is just as
dainty as those made fer the older
people. Great care for an artistic
finish is given To babies shoes White
buckskin shoes are especially fashion
know the meaning of the word. For
the man baby smooth pale russell is
! considered the thing that adds TO his
manikin toilette.-New York Ameri
can.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
oxerwork and Worry.

To eat grape a minute for an hour
at time. and to repeat this perform
Rnce three or four times a day, eating
very little else meantime but dry
bread, may seem a monotonous way Of
spending the time. This treatment
works wonders for thin, nervous amaze
mic people whose digestions have got
out of order from worrying or over
work. 1t is no mere quack prescrip-
ton. but form OF cure recognized
and advised by many well known pay-
sicians. Grapes are, perhaps. the most
ligestible of any fruit in existence
New York News.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Reminded.

Mrs. Muggins-Does your husband
ever forget. to mail the letters yo,,.
give him.
Mrs. Buggins-No; l always s.
II that he pats them in his cig~-fee 70
Philadelphia Record. use
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Beauty of Mirth.

What difference to the sunny
smile of welcome. which lights up the
MsosS face, and makes enc feel that
YOUR coming is a real pleasure which
has been locked forward to,
The piain-featured girl. with a hap
nv genuine amile. is.far more attrac-
-. 90 -tus. >afl1z bat tho doll
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Immense piece OF Building ston..

The largest and heaviest buildins
stone ever quarried in England wa,
taken crom the Plankington bed, nea,I
Norwich. 1t was in-oIaRieps~ &Ssiiodi
crack or flaw, and weighed over Thirty.
five tons.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Oldest Horse IN Maine.

0i0SSt E'OiSG w MdtUG.
Penobscot county claims the Oldest
horse in Marie. if not in the country.
His name is Tommy Foskett." He is
81 years cid. and there is no question
about his age.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Proverbs

When the butter won't
come put a penny in the
churn, is an Old time dairy
provcrb. 1t often seems to
work though no one has ever
told why.
When mothers arc worried
because the children do not
gain strength and flesh we
say give them SCOTS Emul-
sion.
1t is like the penny in the
milk because it works and
because there is something
astonishing about it.
SCOTS Emulsion is simply
milk of pure cod liver oil
with some hypoph9sphites
especially prepared for delicate
5tomachs.
Children take to it naturally
because they like the taste
and the remedy take, just as
naturally to the children be-
'2@':ac ii is 50 perfectly adapted
10 their wants.
For all weak and pale and
thin children SCOTS Emulsion
is tie most satisfactory treat
nett.
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09

nctpS.
IN
Mr.. $. r. Bolingcr. who resides il
South Dukes trect. hookkeeper at "A
Hoffcncr's cigar factory, York. Pa.
'Eackachc became so frequent The
finding anything Ia cure IL ar eyerit;
lieve IL | could not do days work !,
out suffering. While trying one me,M
after another my attention was attrp
by an account OF Doan's Kidney PHI
the papers. and of course they In turn
given trial. procured them at Hodn
drug store. Before ! had taken n ban
them | had no backache. I could We
the desk as steadily as I liked and des
even get tired in the back" Id,
-
For sale by all druggists; 20 cents.
ter-Milburn Co, Buffalo. y. Y. u
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09

Though Their
people in Spai
In Amerfca-spe
Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1904-01-09
Played
Out.

bring new life and activity. rep<
the pain and cure the cause. "
common backachc to DANGEROUS
betcs. .
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10

MRS ARTHUR POWELL DAVIS.
left the room defeated by the difficulty
of the problems except the fair, young
girl who was then Miss Elizabeth Pres
ton Brown, of Virginia. She won the
place over all competitors and holds
it still by virtue of merit alone. A
problem in higher mathematics pleases
her as much as a new novel interests
most women. She computed the devel-
opment of the perturbative function,
and made other special computations
in connection with Prof. Simon New
combs Tables of the Sun" and his
tables of the different planets
She calculated the orbits of several
comets, which were published in the
Astronomical Journal and Sidereal
Messenger.
She visited Europe with Mr.. Davis a
few years ago and found her reputa-
ton was we'll known abroad. Both
were recipients of many courtesies
from distinguished scientists and the
nobility of Europe. They visited Wind
sor and Warwick castles by special in
vitation.
Monsieur Jusserand, ambassador to
the United States from France, thinks
Americans attach too much importance
to their AngloSaXon origin and neg
lect their Celtic ancestry. He is man
of rare accomplishments and is an ac-
QUESTION to the national. capital, both
from a literary and social standpoint.
He speaks English fiuently, having
served in a diplomatic capacity at the
court of st. James a number of years.
The affairs pertaining to the build
ing of the Panama canal and the press
of business the worlds fair is giving
M. Jusserand more work to do than
his predecessor had for some years.
France is making brave show at the
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10

Cinderella.
Ella was a comedy miss,
Eyes were bright as finder;
When she rode upon a train,
Eyes would catch a cinder.
So her little brother Bill
Likely little Teller
Found a name appropriate,
Called her Cinderella.
-Y0nkers Statesman.
A FAIR ARRANGEMENT
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10

exposition. She remembers Napoleon
-'signed away an empire" when he sold
the Louisiana Purchase territory
There will be many Celtic visitors to
our shores within the next few months.
The American descendants of French
settlers, Huguenots, Acadians, refu-
gees from France during the reign Of
terror and others, who will greet un-
known kinsmen at the fair. This in
flux of well-to-do and frequently dis
tinguished foreigners to our shores
will give the diplomats and consuls ac-
credited to our country extra work.
Madame Jusserand is a beautiful
woman of the best French type and
makes a charming hostess at the lega-
ton Washington has been fortunate in
regard to many of the foreign ladies
who preside over the homes of the dip
Iomatic corps stationed here. One very
popular chatelaine was an American
woman, Miss Elyerson, the daughter Of
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10

Lady entertaining friends little
girl)-Do you take sugar, darling?
The Darling-Yes, please.
Lady-How many Jumps?
The Darling-About seven; and
when I'm out to tea l start with cake.
Punch.
The Great Problem.
LIES An enigma. problem,
And when all of the fguring's done
A million of us are ciphers
For each who Is No. l.
Chicago Record Herald.
Wisdom.
The lover in the small town had been
to the city to purchase an engagement
ring. Naturally the people were Curl
ous.
"Why did you deem it necessary to
go to the city for it," asked friend
Because" he replied, "she had
priced everything there was in this
town."-Chicago Post.
Lost Button Found.
Patience-You know Harry, who
boards over the way?
Patrice-Yes, yes.
well, he lost his collar button week
ago."
Indeed"
Eyes; but he found it yesterday in .
mince pie they had for dinner!"-
Yonkers Statesman.
Very Dimcult.
DO you trust the reformed canni-
balls" asked the newly arrived mission
airy.
II try to trust them" answered the
resident missionary; "but it is very diff
ficult not to be suspicious when sit down
TO one of their meals and am offered
mock-turtle soup."-Judge.
Unionism.
Clerk! want more salary, sir, because
am going to get married.!
Employer-But don't believe In
unions" raising the price Of labor.->
Puck.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
TALK OF WASHINGTON
TIMELY COMMENTS FROM THE
CAPITOL OF THE NATION.
WORK OF CLEVER WOMAN
Accomplishments of Mrs. Arthur
Powell Davis Monsieur and
Madame Jusserand of the
French Embassy.

Neutrality-suspicious. of the cleverest
women in Washington is Mrs Arthur
Powell Davis, whose work is known
throughout the maritime world. In
this short sketch, 1 can only tell of a
few things she has done. For 16 years
she has calculated the ephemeris of
the sun for nautical almanac published
every year by the United States gov
eminent. Every ship that sails the sea
uses the figures this mathematical
genius makes, and she has never made
an error in them! She secured the
position through a most difficult civil
service examination, in which gradu-
ates of Yale and Harvard and other
universities participated. Finally, all
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10

Kitty-And when we're married shall
you insist on my reading your poems
and novels?
Author-Well make bargain, dearie.
If you'll read what l write, III eat
what you cook.-St. Louis Republic.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
Why She Was Worried.

II wonder who that woman is whose
hat is on crooked, and who looks both
cred half to DEATH" said a man on the
back platform of street car.
That's my wife," said Mr.. Meekton.
shes bothered to death for fear she
won't get to her Don't Worry club in
time to attend the election of officers.
Washington Star.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
Two of the Strong Points.

The Young Mani don't take any
credit to myself for being able to spell
better than other people can. Spelling
is gift.
Miss Snappeigh-You acquired your
modesty, presume, by diligent applica-
tion.-Chicago Tribune. ~
A Flower Show Tragedy.
Bobbie-Auntie Belle, please take me
home from the ball.
Auntie Belle-Home, Bobbie! Why?
Bobbie-I wanted to know where the
wall flowers grew. and lot Of ladies
laughed at me.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
Served Him Right.

Mr. Jinks-I see the editor of the Trum-
pet is having trouble with his wife. She
wants a divorce.
Mrs. Jinks-I don't wonder. He was
always printing articles about house
work being healthful.-N Y. Weekly.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
Cheerful COuDlet,

Cheer1uI Coupled.
Let the frosty blizzard biz
Dog days soon will make you siz.
st. Louis Chronicle.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
The Latest News.

The Latest News.
$50 you are engaged hear, and when
Does the wedding come off, asked
Teddy.
Said Ned, with a sigh for what might have
been,
I'm afraid it is off already"
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
| Zkk;SnI l.. ! IA
just What He Wanted.

just What He Wanted.
He was showing his wife house in the
suburbs that he contemplated purchas-
lag.
How do you like it, dear?" he asked.
"Oh, I'm delighted" she replied. Its
beauty fairly renders me speeches."
THAT settles it," said the other half
of the sketch. "I'll buy it this after
noon and We'll move out tomorrow
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Moral Applied.
Your works abominable this morn.
ing" snapped the employer to the intem-
perate workman. Il can't say anything
too bad about it. Now, you see the eff
feet Of over-indulgence in liquor last
night"
Yes, sir" replied the workman, ut
certainly does make you cranky this
morning, doesn't it?"-Philadelphia
Press.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
A Foreign Entanglement.
MOURNING CANDY.

A Foreign ENHANCEMENT.
Monroe was explaining his famous
doctrine.
There must be no foreign alliances
or entanglements," he exclaimed.
But, James," whispered his wife,
'the Irish cook says she will leave if
We don't discharge the Swedish maid"
Hopelessly the great man sank into
a chair and brought his powers of d.
plomacy to bear on the subject.-N. Y.
Times.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1904-03-10
Not of His own Accord.
Indirect But Effective Method.

81 suppose" said the chemist, that
the secret of transmitting the basec
metals into gold will never be dis
covered"
Nonsense" answered the minirI
anagnate. Il discovered that secr.t
long ago. All you have to do is II
choose your baser metal and then COL
ner the market. Washington Star.