davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
N THE WRONG cRown.

When that eminent Englishman, John Morley, stated to the assembIage of millionaires in New York that in his opinion this Government would have been as great, as powerful and prosperous if 1t had adopted "Tarif for revenue only" as It's motto, and act ed on 1t, the remark was greeted with "boisterous laughter" we are told.
 Of course they laughed. The wonder Is that Mir. Morley should have felt any surprise at their merriment. Another source of wonder Is that he should have made that remark to such an as- semblage as he was addressing. There individual wealth runs up into the scores of millions, and they acquired that wealth through the operations of a protective tarlff. To them the pres ent system is a goose which contin- ually lays for them golden eggs with out stint It Is the Jupiter and they the Danaes upon whom the shower of gold is continually falling. It is the magic lamp which has only to be rubbed to produce millions for their cofters. It Is, in short, a mine from which they dig pay ore day and night.
 MT. Morley was correct but was talking to the wrong crowd. No doubt the Government itself would have been as great and as prosperous under a strictly revenue tarinNsystem. but some hundreds of millionaire tariR and trust benehciaries would not. and they were principally the men whom the English man was addressing. To intimate to them that they would be just as well off without the continuing tarin crop for them to harvest was a decided con- tretemps. In short. Mr. Morley said the right words in the wrong place.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
q CoNTRADrcToRY LAWS.

Again we find thoughtful newspa- pers advocating competent legal cen- sorship of all bills introduced into a Legislature before they are allowed to become laws. A contemporary thus re- fers to certain conditions existing In Iowa as showing the necessity of such censorship:
 Under existing law the judges of election each year furnish the names 1 of men eligible for jury service for the ensuing year. newly enacted law provides for biennial elections. but neg lects te take into consideration the fact that after the lapse of one year there will be no means of obtaining | jurors for the next twelvemonth, as there will be no election judges to name them. The courts hold that special ses- sion will be necessary to set the matter | right
 If. when that new law first came be- fore the Legislature. 1t had been re- ferred to a committee of lawyers and by them subjected to rigid examination and all Inconsistencies and contradic- tions excised or corrected, the State by such q ridiculous bit of legislation. But we do not need to go so far as Iowa for an example. for our own State can supply some shining. ones, both In law-making and in Constitution mak- ing. All who read the papers know that there Is much confusion and con- tradlction In our laws and that the courts are continually called on ts con. strue and endeavor to reconcile con. dieting ones. All over Alabama there Is now contention going on over terms of office. when such terms begin and expire, and who is the rightful occupant of an office.
 These contentious are not only trou. blesome. vexatious and expensive. but in some instances they are both unjust and hurtful and tend to do great wrong to individuals and to the State. The way, and the only way, as we view it. by which such bIunders can be avoided is for each branch of Leg islature to have one special commit tee formed of good lawyers who are thoroughly familiar with all the legal and constitutional statutes, and who will be able to avoid such complications as are set out in the above extract, | and as exist in Alabama and most oth- CT States. A law which is in direct conflict with some other law, or with the constitution. Is worse than a non- entity, for 1t may cause both trouble some litigation and actual wrongs to individuals. Better little careful in- quisition beforehand than a lot of un- certainty, worry and expense after wards,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
The sOuth and the President.

0SOOAAyn 6able.
 Secretary Tafts remarks, on Sunday, In New Orleans, to the effect that Presi- dent Roosevelt has been misunderstood along with the Presidents letter to Colonel Mosby, somewhat to the same effect. The President said in his letter that he is himself half a Southerner, and has been misunderstood. to his sor- row, by the Southern people. Secre- tary Taft spoke to the same effect concerning Southern misunderstanding of the President, but left the Presidents touch of Southern kinship out of the
 We are glad the President desires to be on good understanding with the SoutA, and we trust that he wal be able, undtr the impact Of his over. Whelming election, to call off Grogvsnor and other wild men who will try, in the next Congress to raise the negro sui frage issue against the South, by seek Ing to cut down it's representation. That's no way to popularise RepubIi- canism. down South or elsewhere. There Is better way. The President under popularize Republicanism down there, he would enlarge and emancipate Dem ocracy in the North with the result of making our politics Homogeneous, un- sectional candid and free. We earn estly trust he will be able to do so, and that the generous and progressive Southern people for a large proportion of them are both generous and progress siXe' just as a less prpportion are not; of misunderstanding and so strengthen his hand with his party against the re- crudescence of proscripttve political policy.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
nrnIalnInr Noah,n ArIl.

The Danes have been building a ves- sel upon the lines of Noah's Ark as described In Genesis. The model is thirty feet long, five feet wide and three feet in height, one-tenth of Noah's measurements. It was fioated on the Sound on October 30, with a party of professors, engineers and of- ficials on board, and 1t Is reported to have behaved admirably at sea. The event confirms the theory that the Babylonians had at a very early period a sea-borne commerce, that Noah's ship was sea-going vessel, and that it was driven. as recorded In the Babylonian annals, by storm-wave up the Doab of the Tigris and Euphrates into the mountains.
 The remembrance of this calamity, which destroyed whole cities, lasted long, and grew with the Jews into the account of flood. Herr von IherinE states that the Babylonians kept doves on board their ships, which they oc- casionally released. and. thus, by fol- lowing the direction of their night were able to reach land.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER so, 1oO4.
DO WE MAKE IT PEArNf

Some days ago The Advertiser ex- 'pressed a hope that the good days work" of which Republicans were boasting. would turn out to be the cleo ton of a President who would so dis gust the country with Republicanism that the people four years hence would bury the party deeper tran 1t had buried the Democracy. To this the es- teemed Hartford Courant demurs. and says:
 Now that the first disappointment and irritation have worn or, isn't our valued Alabama contemporary able 10 Join us in pleasanter hope-viz., that Theodore Roosevelt's administration of affairs through the coming four years may be so broadly American and pa- triotic. so free from a trace of section alism, SO businesslike, vigorous, ehls cient and clean, as to delight the peo- pie and, slgnally promote the public welfare and win the approval of The Montgo mery Advertiser?
 Our friends at the Alabama capital need not tell us they do not expect this to occur. That is not the question. They are Americans first and Democrats afterwards. Wouldn't they be rejoiced if it should occur? And on the whole, setting the prospects of their party in 1908 aside, don't they think 1t the more American thing to wish that the coun- try's President-elect may turn out we'll than turn out i'll?
 We'll. let's see about that Of course The Advertiser does not hope that Roosevelt will send the country to the bowwows, or that he will do 1t any real and permanent harm. We want the entire country to go forward in true glory and prosperity. and at the same time we shall be glad if Roosevelt so conducts himself that he will disrupt his party and disgust the country gem erally. We do not think we are in- consistent in this position. We should be glad If he would give the country better administration than his past record gives us any reason to hope, and at the same time we shall be pleased if he goes out of office without a party behind him strong enough to elect an- other like him. Do we make it plain to The Courant?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Great Flela for the Promoter.

Washington PoBt.
 With a Presidential campaign on, or a war waging in the Orient, the Ameri- can newspaper readers are allowed to forget that such countries as those named are in existence, but just as soon as affairs assume the normal tone the enterprising correspondent turns to Central America for a sensation, and Is never disappointed. Promotion com panies, too. would suffer by the pro- posed union. Next to Incorporating a get rich-quick scheme in New Jer- sey. the most profitable field for the shrewd promoter lies in Central Ameri- ca. CofRee plantations in Honduras. gold mines in Costa Rica, railway schemes in Guatemala and other ventures of that kind may be foated easily, if the stationery is of the proper degree of aliuring attractiveness.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Top-Heavy Passenger Engines.

OIbVtIHNW L4eduGT,
 Locomotive engineers of experience and observation are almost unanimous in their condemnation of the lofty type of passenger engines adopted by many of the railways recently. They insist that many accidents have occurred be- cause the laws of gravitation have been too much ignored and that the standard gauge of modern American railways is too narrow as a base for the huge locomotives, the weights of which have been lifted upward until, when a curve is struck at a high rate of speed, 1t is more good luck than otdant
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Rusnla ReIylng on eerman1.
Hartford (Conn.) Courant,

Hartrord CCOnn.) COurant.
 Russia in her pressing need of addi. tional military strength In the Far East has stripped her western coasts and boundaries of ships and troops. Russia is as open today to an assault from the sea at the west as she would be if she never built a ship except for such pro- German fleet at Kiel. Russian troops that have had their headquarters along the German frontier for fifty or a hum dred years have been ordered to the Russia has no habit of trusting her strong military neighbor on the west in this fashion--a trust that covers both the sea and the land-and one is stands under a special sense of secur ity from Germany in order to do so now
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Less RancOr in Campaigns. a ~Itfpanua es1,a

John Morley, the English statesman and author, who is now travelling in the United States, has been deeply ina- pressed by our methods of conducting political contests. He was surprised there was so little Interruption of busi- ness and tumazed at the lack of bitter ness during the campaign and after the result had been determined. If Mir. Morley had been with US in 1896 he might have found reasons to express a different opinion. However. there is a glcwing tendency to eliminate rancor from political contests and also to mini mize the effect of national campaigns on the commerce and Industry of the country,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Welcome to the Farmer,
Portland Oreeonian.

Pfe-eminent above ali other factors In our national wealth is the honored calling of the farmer. From our mines and forests there is an annual output which reaches almost fabulous sums and the waters of river and ocean yield up many more millions. All of theso vast sums, however, are comparatively insignificant when placed alongside of the new wealth that is annually ere ated by the aErioulturist SThe farmer feeds the world" and success or failure with him means more to our economic system than the action of prosperity CT diversity on any other calling. For these reasons Portland and Oregon will today. give the glad hand of vel come to the members of the National Grange. Patrons of Husbandry, who meet here in their regular annual ses- sion.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Naval Medical Practice.

Fancy sending a gunboat to the China Seas without a surgeon on boardl Admiralty provided a wefl-stocked medicine chest. But the captain knew nothing of medicine. so he had ail the medicine bottles emptied into a big tub. and then assembled the company. All the stuff is there" said he, 'and if any one goes sick, he shall have dose of the mixture, for there's bound to be something in 1t that will suit yout"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Massachusetts Republicans are feel ing badly. of course, over the election of a Democratic Governor. but they have not yet reached the worst. When the new Governor sets in to fill all appointive offices with Democrats, then will 6he iron enter the souls of Repub- lioans who have so long fed from the public crib. It has been a dozen years since there was a Democratic Governor of that State and during that time the Republicans have doubtless come to look on the pie counter as their ex- elusive property. We do not know what offices will be at the disposal of Governor Douglas, nor how good any of them are. but 1t is strange if there are not enough good places to give the Republicans a decided all-gone feeling in the region of the appetite.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Rettlnr for . Frlend.

London Sporting and Dramatic News.
 A gentleman trainer was requested by lady to put her a tenner on a ceF- tain horse if he fancied 1t. Now, he did not fancy the animal nor back it and was greatly surprised<to see 1t win. Of course he was pleased, but his sat- lsraction was interrupted by the re- flection that the lady would doubtless imagine that her tenner had been ifl- vested. The trainer inquired the price 20 to 1. Though 8 poor man, he was and is, l should say--so kindly and scrupulOus that he would not disap- point his friend. and sent her f200, which he could exceedingly i'll aRord. Doubtless to this day she has no knowledge of the truth.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

cost to raise him." Is that a com pliment to the Cleveland administra- ton. going to show that anybody could raise mules then? Or. does The Tri- bune take up the ordinary Republican rot and contend that Mf. clsveland made money scarce? One argument Is about as sensible as the other.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Not worry1ne About wan street.

Washington Post.
 The time has apparently passed when the confding public will buy any kind of stock, when all the operator has to do Is to shake a new story out of the speculative dice box and watch the investors place their bets. The spectators are trying, however, to send the kites up again, and the rumor factories which supply the in- fiation for these Wall Street bubbles are working overtime. Never since the busy days of 1901, when the rail- roads bought and sold each other several times a day, have the specu- lators been so busy as now in furnish ing reports of great industrial combi- nations. The fact remains that the public Is in no humor to furnish the money for these gigantic deals, even if there was any prospect of their con- summation. The speculative lesson has been we'll learned. The country seems disposed to do business on a business basis.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
wants to Know.

Dothan Home Journal.
 Will somebody please tell us what time the sun rises these mornings7 We have no almanac, and 1t appears that no matter how early we may get up in the morning, the ancient Iuminary is from fifteen to sixty minutes ahead, and Is waiting to smile upon us with silvery beams as we step out of the house It's confusing and discouraging. But we had just as well give 1t up now, for sooner or later one of us must drop out of the contest, the rivalry will cease. and the sun will go on rising early in the morning. just as 1t always has done.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Danger fin the Pocket Pistol.

.
 Law-abiding and weiI-lntentioned people no longer carry concealed weap- Ons of any kind. and a pistol in the pocket Is as unusual among persons not distinctly identified with the law. bootleg. As an article of household furniture, however. the revolver is to be found in almost every dwelling-the impression being general that 1t Is or may be needed as protection against burglars. This habit accounts for a great many homicides aud perhaps for not few murders.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Turn About.

Time works queer revenEes. A strike Of negro roustabouts on the Mississippi river has been broken by the importa- tion of white men from Northern and Western cities. Importing colored men has been a common thing, but taking white men South to take the places of negro strikers ia something new.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Making a Close DlstinctlOn.

OINFUIEIIIU T IfIIN DUUINTs
 Benevolent party-Young man, I'm sorry to see you thus idIing away the golden hours of youth. Every time look out of my parlor window 1 see you sitting on this fire hyarant.
 The young man--What's- 6 tn matter with you? What are you giVin' me? aln't idle when I'm doin' nothing. I'm a sewer inspector
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Sometimes a joke doesn't turn out just as was expected, as was the case recently in Wisconsin when two boys thought it would be a good joke to steal chickens from another The own sr was watching with a shotgun and when the doctor finished picking the bird-shot out of the jokers they con- eluded 1t was not as funny as they axpaetAa.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Some of the Republican newspapers apparently regard 1t as singular fact that Senator cockrelI. after thirty years in the Senate. retires a poor man. It really is unaccountable from a Re- publican standpoint.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Root of a Living Question.

bdAllHOES AmtTtCAAA
 Governor Peabody's remark that the people know what they want and always have the ballot with which to ing question. There can be no such thing as oppression or injustice in this country except by coilusion of the peo- people oppressed and wrouged, for the weapon of defense which the constita-
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Not Fitted for It.

PhIIadeIphIa Pre8s.
 He says he doesn't enjoy gunning or fishing"
 NO; how could he? You only have to hear him talk to know that"
 "Why?'
 He's the most matter-of-fact and unimaginative person in the world"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

pie Is stronger than the most cleveriy organized or the most strongly in- trenched tyranny 4 political ma- chine of long standing and strong roots has before this gone to pieces in a twtnkling before the torrent of a popular uprising. The government is always as good and as just as the peo. pie want 1t to be, for 1t is in their hands, the cynics and the pessimists to the contrary notwithstanding.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
The south ln the Cablnet.

So large and important a section of the country as the Southern States, with so many distinct interests. should not be left unrepresented in the cabi- net. And if the President is to make good his declaration that he Is an American President" that he stands for the whole country, he should not make such an exhibition of sectional ism as to entirely slight the Sopth in the formation of the cabinet.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

The Columbus Enquirer-sun makes
 the Sells circus robbery $500 OOO and we are looking for some enterprising to run 1t up to three millions. It's a good ad for the circus.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Real Nerve,

TUCK.
 Blinkers-Could you lend me your racing auto for the afternoon. old chap2
 Tooter-Why-er-
 Blinkers-ThHnks Rwfully. And say -er-could you lend me the price of a couple of hnes or SO?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Miss Budd-what sort of a chap is Jack Huggins2
 Miss Swift--Well, he is what might be tarmed an osculatoFy kleptomaniac. --Kenebec Journal
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
PIan of a shrewa saint.

OIeVeIHnu LeAuer.
 Clericus-Why do you suppose St. Paul made ft compulsory for women to wear their hats in church?
 Wttticus--Because he wanted to be sure that all the women would go to church. Foxy old boy, Paul.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

We are not much interested in The Boston Herald's disquisition on why hens set. If they will invent a breed of hens that will lay about six eggs a piece every day we will feel better.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Speaking of the proposition of a Georgia man to make the election of Roosevelt unanimous, The Chattanoo- ga Times objects, on the ground that 1t is near enough that way now. We really don't see how we could stand any more unanimousness.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
oCTOBER, lo0&.

0esAg ANStH8o TUT OcEo1ors AV@es a1syySa Sunday Average for October, 1904. .lB,SSS P. J. Kelly. Circulation Manager of The Montgomery Advertiser. being duly sworn. says: The foregoing statement of The Advertisers daily circulation for the month of October, 1904, Is true and correct. and somp led after all returns from news boys deducted
 P. J. KELLY.
 Circulation Manager.
 THE ADV ERTIsER COMPANY. Sworn to and subscribed before me this 10th day of November. 1904
 F W JACKSON,
 N. D.. Ex.o. ]. P.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Poor Addicks is getting little conn fort even from the Republican news papers. He must be worse than we thought him.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Mrs. Hix--I got my husbaAd to admit that he was a fool today.
 Mrs. Dix-How did you manage 1t?
 Mrs. Hix-I showed him some of the letters hS wrote me during our court ship.-ChicaEo Tribune.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
In the Swim Early,

New York World
 The Manhatten Club will give a din- ner Vn December 1 to John B. Mcdonald '-in recognition of his servicts to the public in constructing the underground railway" The first name on the conn mtttees is Alton B. Parker. Mir. Par ker begins his local residence by talk ing ar active interest in local matters.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Slug 1S-I see they are going to found home for aged proofreaders, House of Correction7-onkers States
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Rent KIna of Q Governena.

Detroit Free FreBa.
 Mrs. BIy--Is your foreign governess a success?
 Mrs. Sly--oh. yes; all of the children speak French, you know.
 Mrs. Bly-Do you understand them? Mrs. Sly--Oh. no; that's the beauty ofEit; I don't have to answer any of their questions!
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

The price of turkeys went up and then the turkeys went down. so we suppose things are about even.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

The Huntsville Tribune springs a new one on us. It says that when Cleveland was President you could not sell q tnroe-ysar-OIa mule fOp what 1t
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

Ashvflie Aegis.
 We have something m St SaaI M County to brag of--the biggest corn and cotton crops our farmers havc made In years.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26

The man who didn't get any turkey but had a second helping of roast beef isn't 30 badly off. after all.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
HIST EnR EuN

sir?"
 T really don't know. sir. I was too Life,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-26
Al INTERPRETING COLUMN OF FlGUkks
 And n FeW Facta ln Relation to 1nem.

Circulation is ordinarily hard to ges snd ea a general rule harder to held 1no se-,, so1 gortiser however, is not a suffereL HoLA this peculiar newspaper atlmenL we &1te & growing and holding our own with the Dese 0f them There are many reasons Wnz z, ehaaIa nontinue 10 increase and hold i- aThe Advertiser is the vehicle in which. tne news from all over the world ts eonveyse eSsc,ning states and the people who depend upon 1t for the fuli account of what tney can not personally see or hear ike anu aisted 6y the readinR public is attestsd oy the following statement compiled ana sworn 10 by our Circulation Manager, or our s .ual net circulation for each oaS m 'H~ month of October, 1904