The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-04-17
Note Book Nonsense.
(By S. l.. Rotter.)

crater mas been found fault with Tor the
first time and because. forsooth, he re-
fused to issue a man a marriage license
leaving the name Of the girl in blank. The
man who wanted the license said he wish
ed it that way so that when he found the
girl he could marry her Immediately, CIV
ing her no time to change her name.
Now. at first glance, that kind of a
ready to- wear license might seem to be an
excellent substitute for the old madeto-
order variety. But then on second thought,
| it0occurs TO me that a marriage license
does not always hold the girl, either. 1t
has been known to fail Witness the case
of that poor fellow in Salisbury who had
bought his license and had the girl out
with him buying ''fxins' :" when she went
into store, while he waited outside, and
actually 'phoned up another fellow and
got off with him through the back door
1t is even recorded that man No. l
went back to the court house and
slammed the license down on tne desk,
saying it was no good, or words to that
effect No. the marriage license is not
the tie that binds.
The tie that binds. That reminds me
that l heard story about that the other
day. This Is DEPRESSION, but will get
back to the marriage license in a minute
One Sunday morning in a certain church
in North Carolina. the minister was OBJ
served to be little bit nervous and
fdgety. Ever and anon he would put his
hand up to his neck and attempt to ad-
just his neck-tie. Finally that part of
his apparel became unfastened just be-
fore it was time to give out the first
hymn. As he arose the minister made
last despairing effort to fix his tie. and
then with a hopeless look upon his face,
announced: "Let us al rise and sing
every stanza of 'Blest BE the Tie That
Binds. And during the singing of that
hymn he succeeded in fastening the refrac-
tory tie
And now back to the. marriage license
There is deadly objection to the leave
the-girl's- blank affair that will for
ever kill it in the mind of every sensible
far-seeng man with that COOL calm, ju.
dicial temperament that is talked about
so much now in connection with the
presidency, not the president That kill
ing objection is this: Suppose it should
be legal to get license that way, and
suppose our prospective marrying man
should duly get such license and start
off with it rejoicing. And now suppose
he should drop it out of his pocket some
where and any old girl should find it,
and insert her name into the convenient
blank space. What would the poor fellow
do? He'd be in q worse fix than the
man who set bear trap and then stepped
into it. He'd be nearly in as bad a pickle
as that mythical parsonage who was "hoist
by his own petard.'' Why, it would he
worse than losing a check endorsed on
the back with the payee's name. Imagine,
if you can. the feelings of the fellow when
a girl he had never seen before, and like
as not ugly as, sin, comes up to him and
says: This is Mr. Smith, is it not?' and
he not knowing what else to say, says
yes, and then she says, as she pulls the
paper on him: well, by this license,
then, you are to be my husband till death
do Us part. Come on; I've got the min
ister ready All he could say would be:
eyes, and it will be a fight to finish, no
doubt Wouldn't that beNsimply awful.
No. the old way is best. The old folks
way back yonder knew what was best
for us. Let's stick to. the old style Of
marriage license, where you've got 20
swear till you're blue in the face that
the girl is of age, and give her full name
and who her daddy and nanny are and
the whole thing The harder it is for
tit lc1OW W get Hci Ilc HdtueI lie IL lONt
her, and even if she does occasionally fly
the track between the license and the
wedding. reckon it's best for all parties !
concerned that she can do it.
little bit of verse in the Carolina Ply. |
THAN attracted my attention The other
day; it was so expressive. so terse, and |
worked up to such a neat climax. The |
authors name was not stated: Here it is
sATAN's soLILoQUY.
One night as the devil sat musing alone,
In tie midst of his cosy warm fire.
Trying to figure the difference in guile
Tween a thief and all-round liar,
His memory turned to the scenes of his |
youth
And his eyes filed wish boiling hot tears:
So lie turned to his ledger and turned TO
q page.
Dated about six thousand years.
II suppose he exclaimed as he glanced |
through the book.
Tn doing the best that I can
For my business denotes a continual in
crease
Ever since the creation OF man
I'VE cribbcd a good harvest for six thcu-
sand years,
And should be content with the yield,
And give my opponent permission to have
The gleanings I leave in the field.
I've gathered very diversified crop
OF merchants and lawyers galore;
I've bound politicians in bundles until
The ends of my fingers are sore.
I've fiddcrs, gamblers ard insurance men; !
I've murdercrs, thieves and liars;
I've filled up my furnace with green popu-
lists
Til! they actually put out the fires.
i've railroad conductors and doctors to
spare. |
Horse traders and preachers to spend
Republicans, Dcmocrats. Tories and Wings, |
But very few newspaper men
But there is one class, I'm happy to say,
Can never gain entrance here;
Their souls are so dirty I'm sure that they |
would
Demoralize he'll in year.
81 refer to tnat thing neither human nor
beast
The carrion cro,y of no ,vo,Jd