Evening star., 1904-02-01

President l.. a. Coolidge.
reflect credit upon the profession. There
have been many Gridiron dinners, and 1t Is
difficult to discriminate among them as to
merit and excellence, but it will be no mis-
statement to say that no previous effort in
this line eclipsed Saturday nights affair.
According to one of the guests-because
reporters are never present at a CIR diron
dinner-President Roosevelt remarked In
the course of his speech Many countries
have presidents, but no other country has
Gridiron Club" At all events, If the efforts
of the hosts to please and entertain were
successful, due credit for the result must
be given to the stimulus afforded by the
presence of so many distinguished men
from all parts of the country who honored
the club by their Attendance.
The attendance was large and the spa
cious banquet hall was taxed to hold the
diners Small had decorated the hall with
a profuson of rare flowers and the BAN
queterS were emboWered amid American
beauties and orchids, while the ceiling and
walls We're a mass OF smllaX and ever
greens.
The scheme of a Gridron dinner is to SUBJ
ordinate the personality of the members of
the club to the exploitation of the guests.
With the material at hand Saturday night
it is no wonder that it was possible to main
tain constant usillade of hi s at public
men and public events and to lombard the
notable men with good-natured persih ge.
President Coolidge, the newly elected pre-
siding officer of the club. maintained the
duties of his position with tact and grace
and carried the program through with
celerity. He read a cablegram from Mr..
William E. Curtis, the retiring president,
dated Rangoon, and containing the bene-
dicton Pax Vobiscum'
At the outset of the dinner a treaty was
presented for ratihcatio 1t provided for
the Grid'ron Alimentary Canal. The club.
in the articles of the covenant made certain
agreements. concessions and stipulations, to
which prominent men were parties, and
provided the means for making the canal
effective.
The treaty recited that "The Gridron
Club in the United States Of America and
the certain distinguished officials citizens,
military heroes, politicians and real people,
hereinafter mentioned, animated by the de-
sire to open the Gridiron Afamentary Canal
| for the purpose of strengthening the bonds
of friendship, facilitating social intercourse,
satisfying hunger, Quenching thirst and all
laying the cravings for tobacco, have re-
| solved to enter into a convention"
Some of the thirteen articles of the treaty
We're as follows:
1. The Gridiron Club comedies the right
of the republican party to give the country
four more years of Roosevelt-if it can.
3. 1t is stipulated that the question Of
what kind of democrat is David B.. Hill
shall be left to future developments
1t Is stipulated and agreed that David
r Francis shall have as spoils of his PROV
| eSS Whatever He Celi 6Ct
from the Cannon's mouth.
G The Gridiron. Club will afford Senator
GClman what protection 1t can from the
murderous assaults of Willie Hearst ami
his bloodthirSty newspa perS, but the afore-
said German is admonished to exercise Cue
caution and prepare himself for immediate
| retreat from st. Louis on the approach Of
the Hearst rabble army in superior force.
8. 1t is required that Rear Admiral
Walker shall get busy in his ditch soon
as John T. Morgan let's him get hold of
the pick and shovel.
1t was thought that the treaty would lie
ratified without opposition. but after little
while the member in charge of the treaty
| announced that there was trouble. Some Of
the signatory powers murmured at the stip-
ulations.
Senator Hanna for example, refuses to
keep silent. We expect him to say some
thing any minute"
ITS about time" promptly rejoined Pres
| ident Coolidge, and President Roosevelt
| Joined in the chorus of laughter at Senator
| Hanna's expense. Senator German also
was charged with murmurng. He doubted
| the existence of the Hearst boom; he had
never heard of it. In order to smooth the
| way for cation, 1t was proposed to
distribute shares of stock in the Gridron
| Alimentary Canal. This was done, and the
certificates of stock were found inclosed
| In souvenir match boxes, bearing a gilt
gridron.
| On the Firing Line.
| All during the evening the guests were
kept upon the firing line. A member would
| rise and ask If certain parsonage were
| present and upon the individual rising,
| would PROFOUND question that would turn
| a laugh Gen. Corbin was asked, IF you
| had commenced your military career as a
| doctor, what would your rank be now?"
| The answer has not come yet. Admiral
| Walker was asked, IF it took five minutes
| to negotiate the Panama canal treaty, how
| long will it take to build the canal?" After
| pondering Il moment he gravely responded
| that it was subject for executive session.
| Asked of. Secretary Cortelyou: IF you
| honed Congress for two million dollars, and
! 1t gave you only $13S COO how many of the
! clerks you promised to appoint can you put
| on?' The Secretary gave it up. Search
| me-" he said, and sat down.
| Ex-senator Carter of Montana, now a
| member of the ST. Louis worlds fair board
! tried to roast" the roas.ers a bit He sar-
! castically referred 10 the domination of the
| newspaper men. their efforts to run the
| government and the success of some OF
them in getting into public office them
| selves.
President Coolidge got back at him in
| good shape. He deplored the fact that the
| newspaper men were losing their grip. as
| evidenced by two failures; first, defeat of
! their efforts to hoist TON" Carter back
| into the Senate and, second. in the interest
/ of public good their inability to prize him
| out of his 5000 job at st. Louis.
| Senator Aldrich. who is father-in-law of
| an official of one of the great trusts, was
| asked which would be better for Senator
! Hanna's rheumatism. Omega oil or Stan