The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

teneu 10 MIN IL ala not matter. Nobody
does listen to anybody or anything
nowadays at social functions. Every
body talks with insane, babblfng ca
gerness. apparently Indifferent as to
whether they are heard or not ANY
amount Of people ask questions and
never think Of waiting for the an
swers. Should any matters, small or
great, require explanation, scarce a
soul has the patience or courtesy to
attend to such explanation or follow 1t
with any lucidity or comprehension It
is all hurry-skurry. helter-skelter and
bad-shockingly bad-manners.
1 am given to understand that
Americans. and Americans alone, re-
tain and cherish the oId-fashioned
grace Of hospitality, which is so rap
Idly becoming extinct in Great Britain.
I would fain believe this, but OF my
self I do not know. have had no
experience OF social America, save
such as has been freely and cordially
taught me by Americans in London.
Some Of these have indeed proved that
they possess the art Of entertaining
friends with real friendly delight in
the grace and charm and mutual help
or social intercourse; others. again, by
an inordinate display Of wealth and a
1eVer1sh yearning for the paragraph
man Cor woman), have plainly shown
that hospitality IS, with them, a far
less concern than notoriety. However
this may be, no sane person will allow
that 1t Is hospitality to ask a num-
Der OF friends into your house and
there keep them all standing because
you have managed that there shall be
no room to sit down, while strong,
half-cold tea and stale confectionery
are hastily dispensed among them. It
Is not hospitality" to ask people to
dinner and never speak a word to
them all evening because you, II a man,
are engaged upon your own little bus
iness affair" or, II q woman, are anx.
ious not to lose hold Of your special
favor1te male hatterer. II friends are
invited they should surely be enter
tatned in the manner friendly and made
TO feel at home by the personal atten-
ton Of both the host and hostess. II
Is not hospitality to turn them loose
in bewildered droves through grounds
or gardens, to listen to a band which
they have no doubt heard many times
before, or to pack them all into a
stuffy room to be entertained by a
professional musician whom they could
hear to much more comfortable and
independent advantages by paying for
stalls at the legitimate concert hall.
What do we really mean by hos.
pitality? Surely We mean friendship,
kindness, personal interests and warm
hearted openness OF look and conduct,
and all these are deplorably missing
from the smart" functions Of up-to-
date society Of London. whatever the
state OF things may be concerning this
antique virtue in New York and Boston.
It would appear that the chief ingre-
dents OF hospitality are manners, for,
as Emerson says: Manners are the
happy way Of doing things" This
happy way Is becoming very rare.
Society, particularly the upper ten
society, IS becoming. quite noticeabIy.
very rude Some OF the so-called
"smartest" women are notoriously very
vulgar. Honesty, simplicity, sympathy
and delicacy Of feeling are, or seem to
be, as much out Of date as the dainty
poems Of Robert Herrick, and the love
sonnets Of Sir Philip Sidney. Time
goes on, say the iconoclasts, and we
must go with tive must, II our hur-
rying civilization requires II, pass
friends by with cool nod, mock at the
vices OF the young and sneer at the
failings OF the old; we are all too busy
to be courteous. too much IN q hurry
grabbing gold to be kind, and much
too occupied with ourselves to be
thoughtful OF others. So let US bury
hospitality decently once and for all.
and talk no more about It 1t was q
grand old virtue!-Iet US enter 1t with
honor-and cease to hold our funeral
l.
For being dead. it's dead and done
with, and amid all our miserable
notwithstanding shams, let US at
least drop, for shame. our base irnt-
tations OF the great-souled splendid
grace that was meant to link our lives
more sweetly together, to engender
love, and to make home more home
like. For nowadays, few Of rs are
simple and truthful enough IN our lines
of conduct to even understand hos
pitality IN its real meaning.
Between simple and noble persons"
says a great philosopher, there is al
ways a quick intelligence; they recog-
nize at sight; and meet on a better
ground than the talents and skiIls they
may chance to possess, namely, on
sincerity and uprightness.' Sincerity
and uprightness are tho very fiber and
!, life-blood Of true hospitality. But ths
! chief canon Of modern society Is hy-
pocrisy to begin with Insincerity and
, lack of principle naturally follow, with
their usual accompaniment, moral
. cowardice, and so men and women
sneak and crawl. and flatter base per-
sons for what they can get, and re-
-fject all chances Of faithful friendship
| for mere eDhemeraI show TTnder aYlch
conditions as these, what can good old
hospitality do but draw it's last breath
with a gentle sigh Of expiring sorrow
for the mistaken world which prefers
lie to truth. and still to this day
, crucifles all its loving would-be re-
deemers on miserable Calvarys Of DESC
lation! No happiness does 1t gain
thereby, but only increased bitterness
. q, II. p.