davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
gkefsan .,ndaAFIsnre


arost OF: the stories bout Lord KEEL
YIN which obtain in Glasgow. q re found-
SD upon the occasional inability of the
great man who 3lisped In losarithms 70
sbrfn.; his mind to childish sum.
The famous one tells how on his
black board he once made two and two
ave and. hearing the chuckles of his
delighted class, altered it hastily to
three Hewas. however. once heard to
say. in his characteristic slow way,
with his beautiful use of the soft Irish
r: ..Seren times nine. Mr.. Mac-far-lane,
are hundred and what? Pause. But
no: seven times nine cannot be hun
bred and anything, Mr.. Mac-far-lane,
for the square root of hundred IS
ten
1t is also told of him that walking
one day with friend In I-arss. he no.
tfced that it had. begun 10 rain He
questioned his friend Glossy as to
where his coat and umbreli:: were, and
having satisfied himself that his friend
had not these articles With him he
said. well. in that case, doctor. we
will walk back beneath this belt OF
trees. for the rain Will not pcr-co-late
the leaves. doctor.~for twenty min
utRS''
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
Minerva md the Flute.

A recent historian suggests q reason
why The flute is not popular with Ia
dies. minerva in ancient Greece. he
says. "began to play the flute, thinking
it such beautiful instrument shc
needs must learn it. But one day, look
ing in mirror while she was playing.
she saw to her horror that the act OF
blowing the flute communicated very
ineIegant distortion to her face. and IN
n pet she threw the instrument away
Perhaps the feelings of the fair sex TO-
ward the flute have been insenslbiE IN
f1,leuced by q similar consideration.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
where 1t i. Always leap year.


In zone part of "all the Russias., the
nroyiuce of Ukraine. it is always leap
vaar as far as the female privilege or
nronosiur is concerned. 1t is said 10
be customary there when Il young wo-
man falls in love with man FOR hec-
to 90 to his fathers house and IN tue
most tender and pathetic manner plsau
With the Young man to take her as his
wife She promises the most submls-
sive obetlience,to his Will if he Will out
accent her. If the young man says
Il beg that you will excuse me from
this" she tells him that she is resolved
not to depart until he shall promise 10
take her fol; better or worse. She ac-
cordingly takes up her abode there ana
remains until he is wooed and won OF
until he ends the. siege by teelnG TO
parts unknown.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
nnaon s.nG--is.., g..

Onions enten raw. with bread and
butter. make capital complexion
clearer and nightcap. especially for the
nervous person. inclined to lie awake
O. nights; and to wake up dishearteIl-
ing!y early in the morning- Slice the
onions thin and sprinkle lightly with
salt to take off the raw. crude taste,
and have the bread thin and good
deal Of butter.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
s Ed,y1n md n Poem.

Sir Edwin Arnold had one very pain
full experience as poet, writes q cor
respondent. he wrote a poem ana sou
the copyright to stranger, whom ne
too hastily assumed to be the edltor OIL
an American magazine When ne next
saw his work it was being used as
the advertisement of q proprietary me-
dicament-
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
I,uuEsitfvc Girls.

Bessie-I almost hate Carrie Dyer!
She asks such impulcnt questions. you
know. was telling her If FraHk
Barnes had asked me to marry hihl
once he had asked me twenty tiiAes'
and she had the impertinence TO ask
me if he had asked once Minnie-Ihe
ide,r Rut has he Bessie? = Boston
Transcript.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
Knew tire Brand.

as that Landseer, Mr.. CrGsus:
asked the visitor. pausing before the
painting.
mo" replied the host: reckon it Is
q Durham. See how broad it is be-
tween the horns. and see the color and
curl on its forehead. That's genuine
Durham sure"
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
painttnE HE Cows.

Silas-What is old RUDE SO hot about:
Cyrus-Why, an artist asked If he
could paint his cows. Silas-That did
not hurt the cows, did 1t? Cyrus-ies.
by heck; he painted a sarsaparilla sign
on each one-Philadelphia Record.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
The Limit.

Mrs. Muggins-My husband Is a PEI
feet crank. Mrs. Huggins-An nus
bands are, my dear. Mrs Mugsins-
But fancy a man who complains that
my mustard plasters are NOT as strong
ms those his mother used to make!
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09

Senator Depew states that
he was IS years old he was elected
Secretary, of State. after he had
served in the Assembly and then hes
was offered position as Minister to
Japan, with salary of IS, 900 q year
and an equal amount to at him out.
but he realized that 1t was the part
ing of the ways for him, and he ac-
cepted a salary from Mr.. Vanderbilt
Of $4,000 year as attorney for the
Harlem railroad.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09

Miss Skrawney (giggling)-aA1r. Kid
der is such q fatterer. Miss Ascum-
What has he been saying to you? Miss
Skrawney-Oh, tee hee! Hes SO GAL
liant! He told me had arms like the
Venus de MiloI-Philadelphia Press.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09

Mr.. Man1ey-welE darling, I've had
my life insured for 5000. Mrs. NJ
How very sensible of .5S Now =
yrhan,t have to keep telling you3to be
20 careful every place you. go to:
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09

Marie-He broke her heart. the
wretch Celeste-Did he jiit her!
,Iarie-No. he insisted on her keeping
her engagement when she had a better
offer.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
Good Arrangement.

"Say, Mrs. Jackson, ma wants TO
know why you don't come around and
do her washin'?"
"Yo' tell yo' ma dat my ole man IL
Jail now, an I don't hao TO Wuk SO
babd like did befo'."-New York
Journal
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09

There is always roomat the top, but
the young man who waits Tor sps--
eIa1ly constructs elevator to fit his
% seS will never leave the ground floor.
E-Nashua7 Telegraph. h
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09

If you are In need ola bicycle we
carry complete line from s20to $40.
]. L. Halls Hardware Store.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09

some or the. best lots on Fairro ont
avenue for sale See H. H Lanha
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
NIorroH'

81 have some fine lots In NOTION
place vet III. H. Lanharn- L.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
Pennsylvania Taxes.
Cwashington Reporter

("dSHInStOi1 NepoiiSi-t
1t is not such bad showing after
all for the State of Pennsylvania to
have in the State treasury over $12,-
100000. This, it is to be remembered,
is under the rule of the Republican
party Texas, on the other hand, I'M.
der the absolute control of the Demo
Gratis has, according to newspaper ac-
counts a deficit of about $1,000, 600.
There are, it seems, either less capa-
bic or less honest people than Penn
sylvania Republicans.
NJ erry-Go sRrouhd.
The LOYAL Circle Of d the Kings
daughters and Sons VIII have charge
of the Merry go-Round one night next
week. Watch for the: date.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09

All Of the latest telegraphic and
local news viii be found In the West
Virginian.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-06-09
THE FIRE ALARM

Thrills you with fear, because you DO
not know but what it's your properly
being destroyed.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
ARMS UPw TO ARMLESS MAN.
Victim of Railway Accident Lost $3.50 from
Robbers on Street, He Alleges

Charged with holding up and robbing Joseph
Schmidt, an armless man. Of No. 15) West Twenty
socond-st., Richard Gillespie q cab driver OF No
SO Cortandt-st, held in $1,000 bail trail yes
terday.
Schmidt several months ago recovered 1000 from
a railway company for the loss of his two arms in
accident. Since then he has been having good
time, and his roll had dwindled $3.50 Satur-
day night he was passing along Washington l..
when, near Cortlandt-st., he says. three con-
fronted him and the talIest called on him 10 throw
his hands.
81 can't. pardner." Schmidt says he replied; 81
have hands,
so much the better" the highwayman Is alleged
have replied this IS easy"
Schmidt declares the men then went through his
pockets and took the $3.50.
After the ROBBERY the thee men hurried away
ana Schmidt went to the Church-st. police station
Detectives Cohen and Cunning ham were detailed on
the case, and late III the night arrested Gillespie.
He denied that h. had helped to rob Schmidt but
the latter was positive that he OF the
rObbHrS
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
SAID HE VAS VI. l.. SCHIFF.
AUTO Prisoner Threatened to
Break Him, Policeman asserts.

man who said he was Mortimer L. schif,
son of Jacob H. Schiff the banker and lived at
No. 932 Fifth-ave, arrested by Bicycle
Policeman Goldman in Fifth-ave between One
hundred-and-flfth and One-hundred- and-sixth
SITS. yesterday on a charge of exceeding the
speed limit in his automobile. Mr.. Schiff. Gold
man said, when told he under arrest,
threatened the policeman with all manner Of
vengeance
"Tll have you broke" Goldman declares Schir
threa tened.
Broke not" replied Goldman, its the
station house for yours And to the house"
they went. There, Sergeant Hoffman said,
Schiff repeated his threats and included the
sergeant, the doorman and the police generally
in his condemnation of what he declared
their stupidity
He took a crisp new 500 bill out of a well
filled wallet and left 1t as security for his APP
pearance in the Harlem court this morning.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
COMMANDMENT BY POSTAL
Mayors Veiled Hint of Slander
fingers Catholic Priest.

postal card sent through the mail by Mayor
Edward Kenny of the Borough of East Newark to
Father Maurice p OConnor, pastor OF the Holy
Cross Roman Catholic Church. at Harrison, gave
great offence to the priest who handed it back to
the postal carrier when 1t was delivered. with some
indignant remarks. The postal card bore the
words. Thou shalt not bear false witness against
thy nelghbor." When the carrier reported to tho
superintendent of the branch postofce at Harrison,
that official called the priest and made request
that he write out formal statement. which he did.
The statement was addressed to Postmaster Hayes
of Newark.
Father OConnor said he considered the words OF
the postal personal and insulting and he demanded
that the Postcflce Department should take such
action as.woud afro-" him protection. Postmaster
Hayes sent the complaint and the postal card to
Washington, and they were returned to Inspector
Cortelyou for investigation. The inspector visited
Father O'Conn0r and Mayor Kenny and got their
oral statements. and then he placed the III the
hands of District Attorney Nreeand.
Mayor Kenny ha said that mis- reason for writing
the postal card his conclusion that the priest
had forgotten at least of the Commandments
the eighth. and he wanted to remind him of il. and
If Father O'ConnO. cared. to keep it continually
before him. AS for the postal card. ne would, IL
necessary. call the bishop and other priests and
theoOgians to prove that the Commandments OF God
not libcllous scurrilous. 1t would then rest
upon Father O'Connor to prove that they are.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
THE POLICE WAKE UP.
TIbune's Exposure of Conditions in
Third AUe. Confirmed.

The Tribune recently exposed the conditions
under which dissolute women and cadets parad-
ed the streets about Fourteenth-st and Third
ave. and how the cadets acted as escorts for the
women to save them from the liability to arrest
in their frequent trips to and from the openly
run dives Of that district: It told how these
men and women pursued their traffic unmoIested
by the police.
II would appear that Captain Gallagher, of the
East Twenty secOnd-st. station and Captain
McDermott, Of the Fifth-st. station, took the
hint for on Saturday night their policemen ar
rested 100 prisoners, who were arraigned yester-
day in the YOrkville court. Magistrate Moss
commended the work
Among the prisoners were sixty-eight women.
all charged with disorderly conduct. The men
women were all fined from SO to $40 and the
men with one exception, were fined from So to
$40 ~ ~
The single exception was Samuel Wolfson who
says he is the night clerk at the Hotel ROYAL
Thlrd-ave. near Fifteenth-st. He made a com
posed by The Tribune
He said one of hts duties was to escort women
from the hotel to the dives from which they had
come. They feared to appear in the streets
without an escort, because of their liability to
arrest Each woman paid him 10 cents every
time he acted as an escort
captains McDermott and Gallagher are In
charge or TWO precincts which iOin at Four-
feminist. and Thrd-ave. On Saturday night
win their precinct detectives and the reserves
al IN pam clothes they went to several hotels
anu dance halls along Fourteenth-st from
Ihlrd to Madison ayes, and in Thrd-ave from
N!nth TO TWenty-third SITS. Wherever women
and men were found they were arrested
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
MOVING DAY AT GARDEN
Big Profits for Horse Shoe Associa-
ton Stockholders.

1t housekeeping and moving day at Madison
Square Garden yesterday The blue ribbon winners
and those less fortunate which had made for the
entertainment of the big crowds during the Horse
Show last weel: were moved from their temporary
quarters in the basement and shipped to their re-
spectlve homes. Their going watched by a
motley crowd. which IS always at hand for the
breaking up Of any show at the Garden. Some of
the prize winners were recognized and Cheered as
they came prancing down the incline which leads
from the Garden to the street Most OF the horses
heavily blanketed, however, and walked OF
in the most digniied manner. il they knew full
well that their day had passed for the time being.
The big amphitheatre had dreary and deserted
look devoid of the crowd. The hangngs had been
taken down and packed away for another year and
OF the ring and preparing the Garden for the
sale of trotting and harness horses which always
follows the Horse Show and begins to-day.
Without official and final figures the mana euent
estimates that the receipts this year will exceed
those OF the last three shows. 1t was announced
that the attendance for the week was tveel
seventy-ive thousand and seventy-siN thousand and
with this basis the receipts were not far short
Of 100000. Some $4,000 more was distributed
among the exhibitors during the week and the ex-
penses may have been another S20,0C0 but this
leaves a handsome profit for the stockholders of
the association From every standpoint then the
show was a success as it has been since lncep-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
spUro REVIEW NOVEMBER 10
LOfe.rf Forefg1 JNeta,.s AbOzzE BOOKS.
london November IS.


Mrs. Humphrey Wards industry seems stead
,,, IN increase Her latest novel, THE Mar
rsaee Of william Ashe.' which is now running
,n ~uarper's Magazine" will be. followed py
another already announced by THE Century
Magazine" TO begin some time in 1919; and now
i. is learned that she has planned a third mover
for the gIarpers. but the time for its appear
aroc seriaily is not yet determined. After the
lspse Of a month since the publication of Doug
las story's Campaigning with kuropatKih'
another war correspondent, Cowen. has de-
ciaed not TO wait for the persistently deferred
fan Of Port Arthur before issuing his book
Mr. Cowen was with the Mikado's forces, ana
his volume just published, carries the accounts
of the japanese campaign up TO and including
the battle OF Liao-Yang. George Macaulay
Trevelyan. son OF the Right Hon. Sir. George
o. Trevelyan. a bographer Of Lord Macau-
lay, has Just published. under the title Of
England Under the StuaTts," what proves to be
a most important historical study. Mr.. Trevel-
yam is only twenty-eight years old. and has been
a fellow OF Trinity College. Cambridge since
1898. The Letters OF Aubrey Beardsley" which
have just appeared, are interesting as revealing
q little known side Of the artists character and
disclose the religious bent of the closing years
OF his lie. The reviewers who have far
passed judgment on Stephen Phillips's latest
dramatic poem, The Sin OF David" do not re-
gard II as his happiest effort. and almost unani-
mously unite in pronouncing il more pedantic
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
MAY BUILD OUTSIDE OF CITY.
Hebrew sheltering Guardian Societys Plan
-AdoIph Lewisohn New President.

Tho twenty-ffth annual meeting of the Hebrew
ShelterIng Guardian Society held yesterday at
the asylum, Broadway and One-hundred- and +
teth-st. The meeting marked a change of policy
from the consregste system, as now 70 the cottage
system TO be instituted In the spring with the
building of home for the children. 1t also
marked the resignation OF President Samuel D. Levy
and the election of Adolph Lewisohn In his place
The other officers will be elected on December /.
President Levys report said in part:
Our Indebtedness at this time amounts to Nl0000.
We shelter and maintain now I5S children. and
during existence we have cared for 1870 chill
dreu.
For the past three years the building committee
has had the selection Of site under corsidera-
ton. Every large plot north of the Harlem Bridge
has been canVaased. but now nowhere can plot OF
hundred acres be purchased at anything
within reasonable price, and we have determined
to go beyond limits of New-Iork Clty. where
hundred ard hundred and nifty acres can
be bought at price within ability TO pay, and
this will be done without any further delay.
The building fund is only short $4,000 OF the
initial fund of 100000.
Mr.. Lewiston said he favored encouraging the
children TO stay at home rather than to come to
the institution. he believed in sending them To
good Jewish families. and he proposed the estah-
ilshment OF fund OF 5000 for the purpose, half
or which. he said. he woulA contribute
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
PLAY ON WESTMINSTER LINKS.
Competitions for Presidents and Vice-Presi-
dents Cups Ended

The competition for the presidents and vice
presidents cups the Westchester Golf Club ended
yesterday and Saturday, when the finals and
semi-fnas were played. To the surprise Of the
club members DR.. D. T. Walker. who a week ago
the club championship. defeated in the
final thrty-six hole match play for The presidents
cup given by Arthur YuCh. by II. s. Nelson, the
being up and to play.
In the semi-hrals for the vlce-presdent's cup,
given by DIR. T.. NJ Ravunr, W. I. LevenSOn beat II
C. Raynor. up. In the finsl thirty siX-hole round
A. w Gilmore beat W. l. IevsusOn. [ up. As the
show In both the semi-tras and finals in the
vice dents cup competition, the play eN-
ceedingly close, aud it was anybcdys game up TO
the last hole.
on Thanksgiving Day there will be an eighteen
hole sweepstakes handicap fox which thIyty-tWu
entries have already been received
The cEes In the series of twelve to he Il3ytI
this month by the women members OF the club, ,ne
best two scores 10 count, for = cup given by club
member. going ahead rapidly.
John c. Brett, formerly pIofe icual at the Tuxedo
Club, has beer engaged by the Westchcs,er club.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
FAVOR NEW AUTOMOBILE BILL.
"Auto" Club Members for A>asure Regard
ing Chauffeurs' Use Of Owners Machines.

Members of the Automobile Club cf America yes
terday Endorsed the action Gf the board OF directors
Of the New-York State Association Of Automobile
Clubs at its meeting NJ Syracuse ON Saturday re
garding the bill to De presented making IL q mis-
demeanor to~ Chauffeur TO drive a ear without che
permission or It's owner
President Scarritt OF the Automobile club OF
Americd whose term Of office eXpires to-day. said
yesterday:
l ana very much IN sympathy with the idea The
MOST serious accidents DO occur along the Ho-
"nch tAe committee is endcavurns To regulate
especially at night. when the men who DIVE the
cars nave sometimes been drinking. l am quite
willing TO indorse any movement looking 20 the
proVeinent or conditions bur DO not favor the e2l
ANIMATION OF the persons licensed as a remedy
iIat "ue' hot get at the root OF the evil The
cha uiteuT may have mis- license suspended Tor two
Weeks nat OF course, - "A hardship 10 MN ami
may nave d good effect, bat the reckless daredevil
owner OF u machine may easily pass the eXaIOiutl-
non; anu VIII drive his JUST as f1st and GGCk-
!assI! tSr~ara, ana ne can easily pay any hne
IlipoSEu, am IN favor OF rcvoking mans license
,wheh ne acts In that way. That would humiliate
MN, ana Teach him s lesson he would be more apt
20 ISIheHlper Let the license Re revoked for two
or tntee weeks for the first offence FOR three or six
inohthS tor the second and from one 10 ave years
LOT Lhe 'hird That would soon have the eject OF
making nun more careful OF human lifa
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
WOULD TAKE CHILD FROM FATHER
Wealthy Liquor Dealer Will Fight Habeas
Corpus Proceedings.

With bitter accusations against his son. Isaac B.
Bishop a wealthy liquor dealer characterized a
kabeas corpus proceeding begun against him by
that son to obtain the custody OF Miriam Bishop,
daughter Of Isaac attack him and his
daughter a writ Of habeas corpus served on
him late Saturday night, directing him to produce
his daughter in Part II of the Supreme Court this
morning. Leo Bishop. the complainant, alleged
that his sister, Miriam. being kept a prisoner
by her father amid immoral surroundings" in the
Jefferson in West Fitty-hrst-st.. where he lves.
The father, it declared, took Miriam. who was
said to be only seventeen from school against the
wishes OF other members OF the family to his apart
ment where he lived with a hOusekeeper. his wife
having been in an asylum at AnityVille for four
teen years, gave her eutomobils and took her
10 various theatres and entertainments He filed
her with desire for fine clothes and too much
gayety. il alleged.
All OF which made the elder Bishop exceedingly
wroth Yesterday: In the first place. he said his
daughter was eighteen, of age TO decide for
herself where she would live. and willing to
live with her father. eminently proper. He
didn't know just what immoral influences were
brought to bear on her. whether the automobile was
degrading, the fact of aSsociating with him and
going to entertainments with him. He had taken
her from private school at Tarrytown, but she
In the third year in High School in this
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-21
WINDOW IN MEMORY OF HARRISON
Dedication of Memorial of ex-President
Held in Indianapolis.

Indianapolis, Nov 2O-Dr NJ I. Ha!nes pastor
Of the Presbyterian Church, to-day delivered the
address defeating the memorial window presented
TO the church by Mrs Mary Lord Harrison In
memory Of her husband, ex-President Harrison
In conformity with the expressed wish of Mrs
Harrison that the services be as brief as POSSIBLE
the dedication ceremonies We're informal
At the close OF the dedcatory address Dr.
Haines. in behalf of the congregation. expressed
appreciation of the gift. and described the great
ioVe ana esteem in which the people of the church
held the memory of the late President He Maid
hlsh tribute TO General Harrison Dr. Haines
euIoglzed the ceaseless devotion Of the deceased
70 ms church, which he Joined when he came 10
old. N' ~ ; al >
The memorial window is in the south wall Of the
CHURCH The central figure is the angel of the
resurrection, above which rests the Cross and the
wings of a dove The window is thirteen feet wide
and twenty-seven feet high.