The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-09-07
TIE NONPAREyL MAN
Bumpsly Block, Located In the Very
Heart of the Metropolitan Vocalist
Does Stunt that Makes Her Easily
the Main Canary In the Cage.

Does a Stunt that Makes Her Easily
the Main Canary In the Cage.
While eating a genteel vegetarian noon
tide lunch on Nicollet avenue yesterday
and at peace with the world, the air
was shattered startlingly by a series Of
shrill Whoops and staccato outcries that
sounded like the governments Indian bu-
reau dentist at work on a tribe of Chip
pewa Indians charged with reservation
water and crazed with delirium. After
locating the fire escape we asked the
waitress:
"Dentist?
mo- vocalist
And so it turned out Instead Of suf-
fering pain the lady was doing it on pur-
pose and giving every indication Of being
| the main canary in the bird store. AS
the crowd entered the elevator to descend
to the street, the following dialog took
place between the elevator boy and the
postnan: ,c4I,s...e
wonder If that hurts her any?"
''Damfino! 1t would be a fatal strain
on me- tra4
AS the shrll yells came hurting down
the corridor in great waves of sound, the
occupants of the rooms on either side
| stirred uneasily and some Of them gave
indications of severe attacks of tho twit-
ters And she left her door ajar too.
Germany arrested a man for adulterat-
ing liquor, but let him go again when he
had sworn that he was adulterating it
only for export to the United States. See
to it that your poison is adulterated by
your own countrynen. =: .-.:%~.
Princess Louise has fed with another
man again. When Louise was II. her
papa, the king of all the Belgians, and
Of Louise as well, insisted on marrying
Louise to an old man of whom she de-
spised the very sight and presence. Louise
wept and prayed, but the royal father
was adamant. The princess has cut and
run several times since then, until one
eloper" While not excusing Louise, we
: feel a strong sympathy for her. There
} is nothing meaner than marrying the mar
: you do not want to see around.
Paraguay now has a revolution on
Some Paraguayan authorities call it al
= election, but as there is some slaughter
, 1t might"b called an electolution.
: Every farmer his own elevator! VIII,
4 mot? John Arduser, owner of the pleas
ant Prairie Home" farm, northwest O
- Marion, N. D., has built one in a section
' of the barn and has nearly every con
: trivance of a modern elevator, only on
8 smaller scale. He has a gasclene engin
f used for raising the grain to the bins
: also q scale which weighs and dump
: the grain from the wagon and so arrange,
r that he, can easily reload grain. TIL
+ Marion paper says that John is a @fellov
. Iwho likes to have everything handy. Whe
q the price of grain does not suit him
y Mr.. ,Arduser puts his crop in his elevate
r and soaks himself for the carrying charge
+ Every man his own trust All Mr.. A
:. needs now is his own private railroa
y line to the seaccast. -.
The idea seems ridiculous, but it is
Is fact that woman was frightened t
e death by an automobile at Newport las
"a week. Mrs. Green of Paterson, N. J
was standing in front Of the city hall o
= the sidewalk. AS she ran out to get
% car the big automobile went roaring b
N her. 1t missed her by a few inches.
was going so rapidly that the suction al
'e most drew the woman's skirts into til
: wheels. She screamed, swayed unsteadil
a for a moment and fell to the street dea'
q The cause was called heart disease, du
=, to fright The car was going so ia:
II that the number could not be ascertaine
I'd Several people noticed it before it misse
the woman by the awful roaring it mao
as the chauffeur crowded on all powe
to The driver was seen to look around as tt
:. woman fell, but he did not even 11esitat
: Residents Of upper Hennepin confess
n several palpitations of the heart while tr,
n ing to cross the street And the way
r. WIuS, lOO, dllu YOU GILL see LOT d lOI
. distance. Us old people are pretty ca,
ne tious, but some day they will toss chill
iTi In the retreat on Mukden, Colonel r
manoff the new Russian baby, is said
be in command of the milk train.
~ In Fredonia, Kan, woman heard
he knock at her front door recently. It w
n not convenient to respond 50 she call
=, out to Ego around to the side door," {
ne opening it she found a melancholy -lookil
n man who handed her a card soliciting a
ar sstance and stating that the bearer w
!. deaf and dumb No wonder the wor
II hesitates when it is touched for
n five
The Minneapolis Market Gardeners a
81 ISOLATION exhibited at the fair cucur
=, Der so large and SO cu-cumbersome tn
re- it shocked the mind and made the mcut
I'd. of us old farmers gap open like a railro
ha sandwich When the Minnesota cucu1
Der once gets going you have to hire
IN good stout cooper to hoop it, and then
sometimes gets away. Colonel Patthe
the pansy sharp, laid this particular c
ia cunnber on the office desk yesterday, ma
I1I ing the ewes Of the reliPiollS editor sta