Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-04-29

morning, when his mother caught
! him by the hair, yanked him from the
chair, and electrified him by the
startling remark: "What do you
'spose your father in heaven IL think
to look down an see his own son q
hackin' corns with his razor?
The Olympian is just awfully sure,
don't you know, that Hearst, even if
nominated, will be worsted and worse
defeated. Don't you worry, honey.
If you live to hear the returns come
in-which from the hot air you are
grinding out we don't see how you
can-next November you will need be
put in straight jacket, for William
Randolph Hearst will be nominated
and what is more, elected President OF
the United States. The common peo-
pie have so said. See?
Last Sunday, while wondering in
the woods near Tumwater, we met
two girls. They we're hatless and in
their hair were many flowers, in their
hands they carried sprigs of peach,
plum and pear blossoms. They were
romping and laughing in all the in
nocence of sweet girlhood. 1t was a
pretty picture, the sweet, refreshing,
exhilerating bouyancy OF youth and
perfect health. They never would
have looked so captivating and half
SO pretty on the streets of Olympia.
1 write paragraphs for "Chips and
Rags" because l want free expression.
l have no great messages to deliver,
no world-renovating reforms to advo-
cate. no hobbies to ride. / take pleas
ure in writing what think, simply for
setting down the truth. l regard my
self the best property l can own. l
aim at nothing more wonderful, more
daring than to speak the truth, when
this column appears, about matters
that are of passing interest, or perma-
nent to intelligent people. That's all.
Some years ago in this State the
cry of keep Your Eye on Pasco."
was heard in every county and town.
We want to say that the Republicans
over all the United States are whis-
pering to their neighbor "Keep Your
Eye on Hearst but the same Judas
sort Of creatures mount the stump and
yell Hearst is dream, a nightmare,
etc." / wish 1 was as sure OF a Job
representing Olympia beer on the
road as that Hearst will be elected if
he is nominated and l am certain he
will receive the nomination.
Of all the measly, miserable, eye
sore, AIMS age. Chinese puzzle, post
Office scandal, Lady or the Tiger, the
Man in Black of The Coast magazine.
the pewit journals conundrums, the
makeup of the Spokane Epsning
Chronicle is the top.liner. To look at
a copy OF it causes person to see the
insane asylums at Steilacoom and
Medical Lake, to see F. w. d. Mays
out of Jail, to see four oysters in the
soup OF church supper, to see the
editors of the Recorder and the Olym.
plan slipping lemonade through the
same straw. The makeup to the eye
of the Chronicle is as poison ivy to
some peoples flesh-horrible.
A woman is handy thing to have
about the house. She does't cost any
more to keep than you'll give her, and
she'll take a great deal of interest in
you. If you 60 out at night, she'll
be awake when you get home, and
then she'll tell you all about yourself,
and more, too. OF course she'll know
where you have been, and what kept
you out so late. And after you tell
her, and she won't believe you, you
mustn't mind that, and if, after going
to bed, she hasn't shut her eyes the
whole night, and then keeps up the
matinee two hours longer, and won't
60 to sleep when she has a chance, you
mustn't mind that, either. Its her
nature.
When the husband of an uniaith iul
wife is willing to forget and forgive
what business is it of the publics?
The public, as a rule, will say, al
would not have taken her (he wife)
back; not much" glory in the man
for so taking his wife to his heart and
home again. 1t shows that he loves
her and her only. And if he loves her
he would be miserable without her.
He can stand the sneers and mutter.
ings Of gossip.mongers, he can stand
the scandal, the nine days wonder,
the modification, the write-ups in the
paper, the turning away OF neighbors
and acquaintances. He can stand it
all for he loves the woman though she
disgraced his name.
For the sole benefit of that pencil.
pusher over in Spokane we will in an
swer to his question reply that we
take a drink OF beer, porter. stout,
brandy, whiskey-notice we spell whis-
key with an &c" for the simple rea-
son we always drink Scotch-lemon-
ade soda, (no ginger-beer, we don't like
it) whenever we feel so inclined and
have the money to pay for it. We
will further say that we drink cham
pagne when we can afford to, buy a
bottle or two, and pay for it. Now,
pencil-pusher, dost thou like the pic
lture2 When you want more informa-