Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1904-10-21
LIES THE MAPS TELL
NOT ABOUT LOCATION. GUT IN The
MATTER OF NAMES,
Por Instance, Greenland Isn't Gre~a
by Any Means, Nor IL the black
Sea Dlwck-The German Ocean isa't
German, and II Isn't an Ocean.

GerMan, and II Isn't an Ocean.
lu few places will you find more
healthy, robust lies 10 the square inch
than nm average map, aud this is the
document that Is daily placed In the
hands of our young.
Regln up north and take Greenland.
WNs there ever a more hagrant impos.
ture than the name OF this country ?
1t isn't green and never was green and
never viii be green, Here is what the
gazetteer says about this green" coun-
try:
1T Is high aud rocky and barren, 1t
Is covered with eternal snow and gla-
ciers. July is the only month In which
there is no snow" There's a picture OF
grecnness for you.
How did it get called green? Well,
by an INSCRIPTIONS falsehood on the
part OF a tenth century reprobate
called Eric the Red OF Iceland, This
ancient shark accidentally ran against
the Ice patch In question with n few
other lcclanders OF his own kidney.
He cut back to Iceland and doomed"
It for all he was worth,
He called 1t Greenland ami TO delude
the Iceland investors and general pub.
lie said IL was n wonderful green coun-
try, which he wished them to visit
/ with thptr fnnnil,nS and tnl~, .l,,... Ia,
some mines he had discovered. Wen,
some of the deluded creatures went.
They never returned TO good old Ice
land any more.
But there are plenty of equally gross
im%postures. Take the Black sen. for
instance. Why black? Who said II
was black? 1t Is no more black than
1t Is pink or purple, The ancicnts call
ed it the "Euxine'-whicii means lin.
hospitable"-sea. That was another
good old fiction. 1t Is not at all an In.
hospitable sea, for. having 10 tides, IL
is II OF the easiest to navigate. Now
and again there are big storms, just to
/ give the sea a realistic touch. but gen.
orally speaking II Isn't black, and 1t
isn't inhospitable.
The Cape of Good Hope! Good
Hope, indeed. Ask anybody who has
been round that promontory what they
think Of it. The only good hope" they
experience is a good hope that they
will soon get ashore. for 1t Is one Of
the toughest and stormiest places
known to mariners. What We should
call a cyclone on the North sea would
be smiled at round the cape az u bit Of
breeze. The gentleman who called II
Cape of Good Hope was a crude sort
Of humorist. He made his money In
the king business. styling himself John
II. Of Portugal. His faithful subject
Diax discovered II aud told his majesty
that he had called II the Stormy
cape" But the king would have none
Of II. He said that he hoped Dias
would nnd something elsa round the
other side next time he went to the
cape. SO he called II Cape OF Good
Hope.
Why the Dead sea? The locality
may be as dead 40 a doornail. but the
sea itself 10 pretty lively. 1t ID the
safest piece Of water on the face OF
the earth. ten times 40 salt a. the
ocean. or course there Is no particular
vegetation roundabout, and the sea ia
free from monsters, but that doesn't
make the sea itself dead. It IL really
a most live sea.
Why English channel? It's no more
English than it's French. The French
themselves don't call 1t English at all,
but simply La Manche."
Then was ver a more absurd name
given to that bit Of water which D
rates England from Holland. called
the German ocean? Why German?
There's nothing German about 1t and
never has been. Dutch, Belgian or
British. II you like, but not German.
Then why ocean7 1t Ia not an ocean at
all. There Ia a piece of water that size
between Australia and Tasmania, II
anything rather wider, which they call
a stralt-Bass strait. Just fancy the
absurdity Of teaching the child mind to
think that crossing to Ostend or Ant
werp is an ocean trip.
North sea, too. IL absurd. Why north?
It IL not north of anything In particu.
lar. 1t is east OF Britain. west of Hol.
land, Belgium and Denmark and south
Of Norway and Sweden. 1t Is not a
north sea at oil.
There are some islands in the Pacific
why Pacific, by the way? Where
does h peace come In on that DESC
late, typhoony. billowy. tidal wavy will
derness called the Friendly islands?
Look at the encyclopedias version OF
their friendliness: "They are volcanic,
and earthquakes are frequent. Islands
are frequently upheaved. Hurricanes
are constant" Then the friendly M
tivesi The sole reason the islands were
called Friendly il because when Cap.
tain Cook visited them he found the
natives had not got any arms. so they
were friendly. No doubt! But when
the missionaries tried to convert them
they had a different tale TO tell. For
thirty years they endured "a perllous
struggle with the savage paganism of
the iuhahitanfxn