The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-07-04

We understand that Mrs. Edward
Gill proposes to put in two weeks
mortgage a piece of land left her by
her father.
We stated last week that the wife
with triplets. We now wish to knock
two triplets. We now wish to knock
only one. and we can hear his yells
half a mile.
Any gossip around Hometown that
we don't live happily with our wife
is malicious and libelous. We should
love her for sharing our cold pota-
toes with us. if for no other reason.
Some unknown admirer of We edi-
tor left two boxes of wagon grease
on our editorial table last week. AS
we can't make it do in place of but
ter, and have no wagon to grease, will
some farmer trade us turnips for it?
We understand that we are being
censured by certain people for having
drank a bottle of ginger ale the other
day. Our excuse is that we had just
received four new subscribers and the
cash, and we felt so desperately over
Joyed that we were out of the normal
for awhile. We stopped at one bot
tie, however. and no one can say that
we seemed the least bit intoxicated.
charming and magnetic but somewhat
corpulent Mrs. Johnson, who broke a
wagon down last week and broke
her leg at the same time, is doing as
well as could be expected under the
circumstances. Our wife carried a
bowl of chicken soup to her yesterday
and received her heartfelt thanks.
1t is with pleasure that we announce
that Miss Viola Nansemonde Smythe
daughter of one of our village laun-
dresses, has written poem on Chris
topher Columbus that contains forty
eight verses of eight lines each. It
is such things as this that make Gull
tivated people looking for homes come
to Hometown.
We editor regrets that in the heat
of the moment one day last week he
spoke of Mr.. James Beers, our village
carpenter, as a cross-eyed son of a
shotgun 1t is seldom that we lose
our temper, and if Mr.. Beers is cross
eyed it is misfortune calling for
sympathy.
Mr.. Toby Jones, hired man to farm
er Henderson, came to Hometown at
o'clock the other day. and before
noon he had seen, loved, courted and
married Betsy Jane Shaw, hired girl
to Mrs. Brady. We would that this
locality had few more such hustlers
The rumor current in social circles
the 11TSI OF the week that Mrs. Ada
Delamar-D alney was to give a potato
salad party on her lawn some evening
soon was run down by our reporter
yesterday and proved without foun-
dalton. Later in the season she may
give molasses candy pull on the
front porch, but nothing definite can
be said.
Miss Hattie Davis, the charming
and handsome daughter of Mr.. John |
Davis, struck a COW while riding her |
bike few nights ago and was flung |
head over heels and had her collar
bone fractured. Why the COWS of our
village persist in lying down in the |
road and endangering peoples lives
we cannot understand, and it seems as
If something should be done about it |
Miss Hattie has our sympathies, and |
we shall be glad to chronicle her
restoration to health.
One day last week, in trying to
kick a tin peddler who passed a bad |
nickel on her, Mrs. Homer Ellis lost
her balance and fell and broke her
right arm. Whether she tried to
kick too high or too hard may never
be known, but she can feel that the
Banner is behind her in her sad
We haven't a lady in the
village who can't kick in the head of
a cider barrel at one kick and the
knowledge makes us proud of them
Copyright, 1904. by T. c. McClure.) |
@
John Hay at the Fair