Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-05-27

al any place ana at any time.
Waitress" Why, Emma, the al,
monds are not salted?"
Emma -" No, the grocer dealer
said you could owe him for the al
monds, but lie would be darned il
you could beat him out Of the salt, to
put on them"
President Roosevelt will 90 to Oyster
Bay about July LIST, remaining there un.
til after he receives the official nomina-
ton of the choice of the Republican
Convention. .'-Press-Dispatch.
After March 4th next, he will go to
his home to remain there as private
citizen for a while, we hope, at least.
1t is common nowadays for the
quack medicine advertiser to begin
with a little interesting paragraph,
which is certain to land you in a
patent medicine or food mire. 1t is
best, before reading any such para
graph, to take a glance at the bottom
thereof.
Ii some men who devour free lunch
in a saloon were called "free- lunch
grabbers," they would be insulted. 1t
is not always the tramp or the hun
cry hobo who eats up the lunch. In
many instances it is men who have
money in their jeans" to pay for a
porterhouse.
The barber-shop workman, as rule,
Saturday, thinks each customer is 60
ing to celebrate Sunday. For, We
have noticed that on Saturdays he
generally gives his patrons Fourth
of July shave. If you don't know
what a Fourth Of July scrape is, ask
your barber. He can tell you.
The votes have been counted,
The people have spoke,
Goodbye, dear Governor, goodbye.
You fought hard and weary fight
Goodbye, dear Governor, good d-bye. d.
No more you scare the railroad men
Goodbye, dear Governor, good. bye.
You can now take rest
In your own little nest,
Goodbye, dear Governor, goodbye.
1t is too bad that the dirty yellow
ours who dress in the garb of men car
ruin young girls. skip out and go to
another State and repeat their devil
ish actions again. The burning stake
is none too good for these moral lep.
ers. The sooner the earth is thrown
over them the better and safer it is ioI
young girls.
There is story just told of Mr.
Rockefeller that he once informed 9
friend that he could not take up golf
as he had no idea OF how to hold his
caddie. Mr.. Rockefeller, apparently
does not understand that golf is no,
the least like football, in which game
it is quite as customary to kick the
referee as it is to kick the ball.
An Eastern man of business, while
in Tacoma, recently, said he would
be much pleased to have seen Seattle
before returning home, but he could
not spare the time and would pas,
through Seattle without stopping tt
view the city. A Tacoma man sug
gested that somebody telegraph i'm
mediately and have Editor-in Chief
Blethen OF the Seattle Times, meet the
business man at the train.
Big, fat, jolly and good.hearted Bill
Devere, known on the Western slope
as the tramp.poet, is dead. He diec
in a hospital in New York city. Al
who have ever read the pretty poem
1.-TWO Little Busted Shoes and th,
well-known humorous verse walk
Damn You, Walk" will be sorry tc
learn that their author is no more
May his sleep be of peace and rest
Under the blue of the sky
Under the green of the grass"
Hearst for President is the cry o
the wage-earner over all the land. Tht
laborer knows who the man is that i!
fighting for the better condition of the
people who toll. Now is the chanc.
for the workingmen of the United
States to place in the White Hous,
William Randolph Hearst. the mar
who WAS and is not afraid to beart
the human eaters OF men, women ant
children-the trusts-in their den
Hearst is the poor mans friend.
Some miscreant rode off with the edi
tors wheel from the Postoffice Monday
evening. A Cleveland, with black fin
ish, and A. b. G. brake.-Mds0n Count.
Journal.
My! But probably the editor will
not be put out much by the incident
Most editors have wheels, and perhsp
the party who purloined the "Cleve
land" black-fnish and A. B. C. brak
thought it was Good" wheel wit
" Better Getaway P. d. e." brak
and acted on the spur OF the momen
to do his farewell stunt.
A country preacher was mailing
refractory creeping vine to piece c
trelis.work near his front gate whe
he noticed that small boy ha
stopped, and was watching him wit
great attention.
"Well, my young FRIEND" he saiS
pleased to see the interest he excited
"aro you looking for hint or two i
gardening?"
"No," said the boy, 81 be waitin
to hear what preacher says when h
hammers his thumb"