The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-12-25
NE PEDAGOGUE.
Corn Cracker Happy in His Number
Ten Shoes.
-Snecial ID NeWs and ObserverD

Especial to News and Observer
Patterson Springs, n. c., Dec 20
Your uncle is still in charge of his
school at this place, and bears rule
ever 90 pupils, with the help of ar
assistant.
He still wears No. 10 shoes, iron.
gray tresses; and his wardrobe looks
like the discarded plumage of a hobo.
He boards with Geo. Patterson, Esq,
who was for a time the geniai host
of Patterson Springs, then a famous
summer resort. Such being the case,
he knows how to cater to those who
enjoy culinary comforts, and is more
over, celebrated for fat hogs, fast
horses and unbending devotion to
Democracy. Out of the goodness OF
his compassionate heart, he took me
in as a boarder But he feels like
he was in the storm centre of a grass
hopper plague, or in the line of the
devastating army worms march
Some of his friends told him that
as music hath charm to soothe the
savage breast, it might allay my un~
holy appetite. Prof Hewlett, of Vir-
ginia, is an adept in playing the forte
piano, and was invited to come and
furnish some soul-inspiring music. I
was enioined to turn UP my fiddle and
play for him to accompany me. Sew
eral guests came in to hear the MINI
discourse sweet music. In three quart
ers of an hour [ claimed TO be in tune
and the concert was formally opened.
He asked me if | knew Washington
Post" and of course / didn't. | sug-
gested that | had speaking acquaint
ance with Life on the Ocean Wave.
He looked like he was sorry [ was not
OH or under the ocean wave, but told
me 70 move Immediately on the works.
The works were assaulted with great
vigor but medium melody. The pro-
fesSOr enjoined me to modify NY touch,
and get in exact tune. In ten minutes
he declared l was worse out of tune
than ever, and politely put the violin
IN Eune.
He asked me if | knew any of
Wagner's selections, but of course l
didn't. He spoke of ''overtures," ian
GERS" 'quadrils' two steps" but 1
didn't know anything but "Black-e eyed
Susie, Aunt jimmie There's a Bug on
Me" Jimmie Suttentaller" and Cap
tain Hass-a-Jenks Marine We COM
promised on. John Howard Payne's
Home" for the benefit of those who
mad never heard it. Some. after hear
ing my effort, execrated the memory
of the illustrious exile, others said
he meant WELL but all decided they
never wanted me to desecrate his
memory again by my unholy rendition.
To oil the waters, the professor
tuned his own violin. He didn't take
more than d minute, and soma of them
asked me as to probable cost of his
instrument | told them two dollars
or maybe two and a quarter. The
professor said it cost one hundred
and ten dollars, and that Knocked me
off my feet. My fiddle cost 80 cents
new, with the bow thrown in.
The next morning it was anxious!y
hoped there was some diminution of
my unholy and unseemly appetite, but
disappointment was in every counte~
nance. l told them 1 had a. cold.
They asked how long cold generally
lasted me. The answer was they gem
orally lasted till the close of my
school, and that my rule was to feed
a cold.
Mr.. Patterson, therefore, has nc
sympathy of all his friends
As to society matters, we have a
matrimonial epidemic On next We'd
nesday night a popular couple are to
be united in wedlock and from one
to four. marriages are to be solemn
ized for each day throughout the
holidays. Leap year is always prolific
of nuptials, and it may be the fair
sex then assert themselves.
On account of my immense feet,
- Oii 81 W tltoSCS ldSi)iIlS HuUle, dn i
desolating appetite; if | get there il
will be in the role of unbiddcn guest
John Steams, the hermit avoids
society, while l crave it and am de-
barred.
Maybe | can 20 to Casar. or to
Cherry Mountain. for Steams won't lei
me visit him, and everybody else here
is going to partake of the festivities
| shall be a pilgrim to Cherry Noun
tain, and thence wandering ministries
10 CaSar There / can play my favoritr
selections, drink corn whiskey, smoke
a cob pipe; and no criticism if YOU
don't put on Il clean shirt every two
or three weeks.
In the meantime here's the compli-
mcntS of the season TO the manage
mont Of News and Observer. also. to
Patterson Springs Caesar, Polkville and
shelby. / also extend compliments Of
season to capt. Barksdale, if he did
tell me he was glad to dump me any
where, when | requested him to dump
me at Washburu, Il flag station He
invited me TO eat lunch with him ana
! accepted. No wonder he wants TO
get rid of me.
NJ. l.. WHITE.
Corn Cracker.