The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-10-01

Two turtle doves flew away from
GAINESVILLE the other day when mother
was putting up chilli sauce and father
was looking the other way and, like the
bird let loose in eastern skies, ceased
not to wing their way until they perched
nthe window sill of the marriage
license foundry in Fargo. It developed
that the parents of the young lady were
opposed to the young man. in question,
but he, being formerly from Missouri, re-
marked that they would have to show
him. The pair passed all right at the
license factory and started out to find a
minister who would make the necessary
racket over them. They intended to start
home in the morning to forgive the old
folks and let everybody have a good cry
all around. They are said to be popular
with the younger set at GAINESVILLE,
where the incident has created some
thing of a flutter.
E. K. Thomas, banker and owner of a
string of racehorses in New York, has
rented the day apartments at the
palatial ST. Regis hotel. Mr.. Thomas
bed, gem of the cabinetmaker's art
alone cost $4,000, and other things are
according. But the banker is over six
feet tall. while the cabinetmaker, doubt
terpiece off at six feet. Hence when
the prodgal banker crawled under the
covers he found that his feet hung over
the footboard a few times when he
Strengthened out his knees. Fortunately
for Mr. Thomas, there was another bed
in this royal suite, which was built with
an eye for long stretch. Therefore the
young banker occupies the bed in the
adjoining room, while Mrs. Thomas finds
the state bed as cosy as the most lux
urious could desire.
The New York papers got wise to this
fact and they are printing pictures Of
Mr.. Thomas in gorgeously carved bed
with his feet hanging out into space.
This Is one of the penalties you pay for
great wealth, and the luxury of a $4,000
bed. Wouldn't it give YOU bad dreams?
A new variety of r:2uskmeIon Is a re-
cent importation from Turkestan. It IS
large in size with pulp several inches
thick. This melon can only he grown in
the arid regions Of the west. Ii natures
in September, when it is picked, but 1t
Is not ready to eat until December Or
January. That sounds we'll.
Walt Mason has chapter on mothers
wonderful patience. The other day d
lady was journeying toward LINCOLN in a
Burlington coach She had three chill
dren with her; the oldest appeared to be
about years old, and the next 4. and
| the next or 8. And such children.
| they had evidently been used to running
wild, and their mother had no control
over them; they scorned the power Of
her puny hands as the tempest Scorns
the chain, as the poet says. They were
| chasing up and down the aisle, and an
| noying the heart broken passengers and
| they were in mischief Of some kind ever
| lastingly. They wouldn't sit down for d
minute; and that wretched mother was
wearing herself out trying to round them
up and get them to behave. She was
chasing those kids all over the car near
ly every minute Of the time, and many a
strong man Wept he looked upon her.
| She begged and implored and threatened,
/ and the children paid no attention what
ever; and the tension became so grea {
| that some of the passengers tried to
jump out of the car windows and end
their sufferings. Finally one Of the kids
fell the length of the car and damned
his head against the iron of a seat, and
was put out of business for a while. and
the relief was so general and genuine
that cheer went up, and even the con-
ductor and brakemen clapped their
hands and threw a few handsprings. And
the patience of that woman never
seemed to be jolted in the least. It was
wonderful.
Il The Fargo Forum has an amusing
story of what might properly be called
a human clock. He lives in Moorhead.
and he always chances around to see if
the coast Is clear before he steps inside.
He is a respecta bic looking gentleman Of
rather severely righteous appearance.
After he is once inside he seems intent
on going to the rear right past the bar.
but as he reaches the center of the bar
he seems to bethink himself and comes
4 abruptly up to its edge. He does not
4 say a word. but the barkeeper reaches
him a bottle and two small whisky
glasses. Then the barkeeper gives an
other customer a surreptitious wink
The old gentleman pours out from the
bottle into the glass, pours until the
liquor fills it to the brim. Quicker than
the eye can follow he pours the who're
down at gulp, sips the water, lays down
i the price and is gone. sa
'See him slide out of that side door,"
asks the barkeeper. He does that as
regular as the clock. three times day
Regularity and punctuality are virtues
4 in themselves, but it sometimes makes a
4 difference on what they are brought out
I "A. J. r.