The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-04-17


snoring, but proceeds at once to business,
and sleeps as only one can who is at peace
with all the world, and the rest OF man
kind, as General Flylor said. Does he
snore? OF course he does, sometimes,
and he has right to snore; and what
makes him truly consistent man and
Christian is, he don't bother the other
snoring man; neither does he try to pose
as martyr, at the breakfast table next
morning. telling how badly he feels be-
cause he would not sleep on account of the
brothers snoring. No, he don't descend
to that kind of tactics to make himself,
by Implication, so sanity as to be above
snoring He blows his own horn and,
acting upon the golden rule, accords TO
others the same right. He says that
snOre and | expect he tells the truth. l
know he SHORES; but it doesn't disturb me,
for two reasons: / just know he's having
good time. and again, m fond OF hear
ing him preach and, as he does not try
to change the sound in his snore, can lie
there and, imagine he is preaching one Of
his fine sermons. And as preaching has
the tendency of making one droWsy, /
soon fall asleep, and that's the last OF 1t,
until the next morning; and all is we'll.
Some folks become so used to snoring
they can't sleep without a snorer close by.
That old lady who went to town to visit
her married daughter. and left the old
man behind. could not sleep at all, so
tradition says, until her daughter got the
coffee mill and set to grinding. That
sounded so much like the old man snore
she soon fell asleep as happy as child.
over at Harrisburg, Va, some years
ago, ] hod room mate a Baptist
preacher, though / did not suspect him
TO be such, that night, as we passed but
few words, ON going to bed; and as he
DIDN'T say any prayers, at his bedside, /
didn't even suspect that he was a church
member. The next morning at the break
fast table, | overheard him saying to
some one who sat near him, that his room
mate kept him awake snoring. you mean
to say, my friend, your sins kept you
awake; consequently you heard me
snOre," | said. The crowd laughed, and
roticed that he seemed to be in deep
thought, through the remainder of the
breakfast, and that he SHE'D me after
ward. Out on the piazza, after breakfast,
heard the boys laughing over the matter,
and | learned that my roommate had
been accused of several very ugly things,
and no one had any confidence in him.
In conclusion, it would be well for me
to say to those gentlemen for whom sep
arate rooms have to be prepared, that
they deceive nobody. 1t Is not because
they are SO very nervous, but because
they are SO very selfish, and don t like TO
be bothered with room mates. I wonder
if they expect the Lord to fix up little
private apartments in heaven where the
shouting can't be heard by them? A fell
low who can't stand snoring would be
sure to object to shouting. AT all the
Conferences, Synods, and Conventions
there are squeamlsh, selfish delegates who
do not want to room with anybody else.
They are the trouble. One nervous,
selfish delegate gives more trouble than
All the balance of the delegates put to-
gether. When / hear man say Il can't
sleep in room with another man. my
opinion is made up about him. | heard
Dr. Tliden, very distinguished Baptist
minister tell the story of the old darkey
and his four OK team. with which story
will close The darkey had a name
for each steer, and. he said, I''he named
EN- 'eording to der carrecter." All the
fault. The Methodist steer was unity
pullin' steer" when he got into a bad
place. but at times he'd drap back and
The Presbyterian steer never pulled
much, but would pull little all the time,
therefore he was good steer. The Camp
Dellite was d good steer, also, but lie
wanted water all the time (Baptismal
Regeneraticn) The Baptist steer was
also L good pullcr and always 70 be de-
pended on, but he gave him more trouble
than all the rest-had 70 have a separate
trough to eat out Of. (Close Comsnunion)
So it is with the delegate at Conference
who is afraid of snorers-he has TO have
a separate roont-therefore gives more
trouble than all the rest.
suggest that a snoring convention
be held during the coming State Fair,
in Raleigh, to take into consideration the
proper treatment of that class of our fell
low citizens who are so unfortunate in
Temperament as not to be able 10 sleep
between two first class snorers. In adj
vance | suggest my friend Rev. Kenneth
Holmes, OF RoXboro, for the Office of
president. and do so for the reason that
his proficiency rs Il first class snorist en-
titles him to the highest office in that
suggested convention. I am willing to
serve as secretary of said convention, if,
from experimental knowledge, any of my
frienda thak that l am entitled to any
honors on account OF the record have
made N tie snoring business.
To this convention all the sensitive peo-
pie, as we'll as all the nervous wrecks,
that can't stand snoring, should be an
vited. and have it explained to them that
snoring is healthy exercise, ANA if one
would be fully developed in mind. body
and usefulness he must learn TO blow his
own horn. and not lie awake all night
listening at the noise Of somebody else's
horn.
Let's have the convention
r. f. WHITAKER
p. S.--A Raleigh lawyer thinks it would
be unfair not to admit the legal fraternity
into the proposed convention. He is dead
sure that at least three Raleigh lawyers.
to say nothing Of the very popular Clerk
of the Court would lay my nominee for
president so far in the SADIE, I'd be bound
to withdraw his nomination Upon re-
Election [ am convinced that the LAWYERS