The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-01-12

Dul QOl u1OllCy 0Q1 COInS TO you,
says.
ut vhas no Difference, Hans-no
Difference. If she vhas in America she
comes aroundt to der saloons sooner or
my share. Did somepody tell you
aboudt me und der Long Island rail-
road?'
NO"
'vhell, you listen. I goes by a ticket
office ind ask der man if his family
vhas vhen und his own health good,
und den 1 say to him:
'''How mooch for ticket to oyster
Bay?"
"'Don't you take off some for me?'
"'Can't do it,
q 'VhelI, how mooch for a ticket to
Clam Lake?'
Sixty cents
"'All right take one.'
do you see, Hans-do you see?"
says Voglestein, ash he laughs himself
red in der face.
"I see dot you don't go to oyster
Bay 1 says
'sOf course not-of course not. 1t
vhas no deeference to me whether 1
go to one place or der odder, because
a clam vhas about der same ash an
oyster, und- don't you see l safe $140?
Dot vhas me, Hans-dot vhas Vogle-
stein It Wasn't so mooch money safed
but she vhas der principle, you know.
If you see me three years from now
I vhas all diamonds"
1 put on der patch und rub and rub,
und by und by Mr.. VogleStein gets
through patting himself on der back
und say:
81 guess maybe you hears aboudt me
und der shudge?'
mo how vhas it?'
IT don't hat our snow cleaned off my
sidewalk und a policeman takes my
name md brings me into court He
saws l hat two feet of snow und don't
~-1re OF
me und says:
ut vhas 81 fine, Mr.. Bangs.
"'All right, says, und L pay him
Queek und get oudt.
but who vhas Bangs? % says.
my next neighbor on der right"
But Why you pay for him?"
Hans how stupid you vhasi I pays
| for him because When he comes oop he
pays for me. His fine WAS ~, und
when he comes oudt he has to pay -
for me. Don't you see how 1 safe one
dollar? He says he Wasn't Voglestein,
und der shudge makes 1t "a for lying.
When l got home dot snow vhas all
cleaned off. A man pays boy feety
cent to clean off his sidewalk, und DER
boy makes a mistake und cleans mine
| instead. Don't you pellet vhaS Wall
| street,"
1 don't say nottings to make him
proud, und he chuckleS AWAY for ten
minutes und den says:
buy a horse der odder day? L goes 10
Mr.. Harpendinger, who has two horses
| to sell, und says:
s'Iow mooch for dot bay horse?'
1920 he says.
IF it vhas you, Hans. you put your
money right down und vhas cheated,
but dot vhas not Voglestein. l wait
a few days und dot horse runs silver
in one eye und put 1t OUT. una oef
l price comes down to one hoonered.
but he vhas blind in one eye" !
says. -. ~,
safes putting a binder on dot SIDE, und
he don't see only shust half ash many
things to run AWAY for. More ash ten
men pat me on der back und say now
sharp I vhas. Did tell you apoud'
me und der tax man? nix
/ "vheii dot vhas more fnanciering-
more brains. d Der tax man comes
aroundt und makes my taxes ash pc
fore, but I tells him to make EN- nlgn-
er by $25. He looks at me in a strange
vhay, but Vogiestein knows what ne
is aboudt. When my taxes vhas ~:
higher l go und run In debt 500, unc
dot safes me shust SIS. Not enough
to buy brick house. but 1t yhas
handy wad to hat in der pocket
shall now go home"
But before I go I Will show yor
some more f1nanciering. Do you see
dot policeman across der street?"
Yes"
"Vhell, I hat some barrels in from
of my house. 1t Will cost 81 to hire
a team to take 'em AWAY, und if &c
into court it vhas 80 for Instructions
Now. you watch my smoke"
IND he goes by der door und whist
les, und When der policeman comes
oafer he gets three five cent cigars une
goes AWAY smiling und happy.
brains, Hans-brains!' says Vo'
glestein.
But I guess don't hat any. I guess
Voglestein to fill der GROWER, und vher
he comes back he has all der beer unc
l hat all der pail.
How vhas dis?" says.
"It vhas all K. o. he says. II safe
you five cent by drinking oop all del
beer before she can get stale Copy
right, 1904. by C. B. Lewis.)