The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-03-19

The club is refuge Tor homeless
married men.-Life. ,..
Rain water" said the teacher, us
always SOFT is it not?' mot always"
replied the bright scholar; sometimes
it's soft, but very often it comes down
hard"
Harold" said his mother, severely.
why did you take two pieces Of cake
from the platter well, you see,
mamma. had to. 1 was playing that
was twins"
Post-nuptial: He (whose wife has
been reading. some Of his old love let
tiers to her)-What is the use Of keep.
ing all those old things? She-Lest we
forget-lest we forget.-Brooklyn Life.
Rarkway-Did you make love to any
girls at the shore? Cleverton-Yes.
One from Boston and one from New
Orleans. How was it?' Did you
ever have chilIs and rT-Smart
Set.
Young Wife lat dinner)-I didn't tell
you, Adolphus, 1 cooked the dinner to-
day myself. Husband-Indeed. Then
in my thoughts have been doing poor
Mary Ann great injustice.-Pear-
sons Weekly.
Say" began the determined looking
man, Il want a good revolver" Eyes,
sir" said the salesman, "a six-shoot-
er" "Why-er-you'd better make it
a nine-shooter. want to use it on a
cat next door"
Jenkins-Have you a typewriter at
your Office? Jinks-Yes, indeed! Jen-
kins-What gtyle7 Jinks-Oh, the very
latest. You should see the new fall
gown she's wearing these days.-Phil-
adelphia Public Ledger.
Nell was delighted to meet her at
bargain sale to-day. Belle-I thought
you detested her. Nell-So do; and
during the crush l found a chance to
give her few good pokes on my own
account.-Philadelph Ledger.
Lady Visitor Ito little girD-What
became of the little kitten you had
here once? Little Girl-Why, haven't
you heard? Lady Visitor-No Was
he drowned? Little Girl-Why, no. 1t
: growed up to be a cat.-Illustrated
Bits.
Mother-Now, before you go to
sleep, have you been guilty of any
little sins that you should be sorry for 2
Willie-Yes, ma, think I've been gull
ty Of usury. Mother-Of usury? Will
lie-Yes, ma, found penny, and 1
used it!
Say" began the first man, nibbling
: his pen, how do you spell 'gibbering'
with g or ~" Il don't spell it
< at ALL" replied the other. when I
! want to call man that sort of idiot 1
e just say it. I'm not fool enough to
e put it in writing"
; Mrs. De my dear, have picked
out husband for you. Miss De F.
; Very well; but l want to say right
: now mother, that when it comes to
: buying the wedding dress am going
s to select the material myself: SO there!
New York Weekly.
Smith wonder what Brown in.
y tends to do with all the money he got
for those historical novels he wrote
= Jones-He intends to travel He feels
that he ought to visit some of the
places he wrote about; just to see
what they are like.-Life.
= Mamma, I know the gentleman's
name that called to see Aunt Ellie last
highland nobody told me either
p "WeI, then, what Is 1t, BobbieT
"Why, George Don't! l heard her say
o George Don't in the parlor four or five
times running. That's what his name
Iis!'-T1t- Bits.
J. "Did you tell that awful bore who
+ called that l had gone to San Fran
q cisco?" Eyes, SIR" said the new Office
boy; Il told him you started this morn
q ing" Good boy! What did he say p
O HE wished to know when you'd re
, turn, sir, and told him did not thinl
= you would be back until after lunch.
# Van Antler entertaining Witherb!
8 at his country home)-Now, old man
= If you should happen to want any
d thing In the night. just touch THU
k bell. Witherby-Never! l know how
n hard it is to keep servants in the coun
l. try. Catch ME touching that bell
v Van Antler-But l assure you, yol
', are perfectly safe. The bell doesn'
!. work.-Llfe.
2 "How's your mother? asked tn
e neighbor. Worried to DEATH" answer
q ed the boy who was swinging on tn
IS front gate. Fathers hunting in tn
Adirondacks, brother Bills gone to
l. political convention, brother Jack
It joined a football team and the dress
n maker has just told mother that she'C
r look a fright in mourning. "-Washing
lie ton Star.
10 Catching up: Il suppose a felloI
% ought to have good deal of none
~ saved up before he thinks of marry
Ii ing" Nonsense! didn't have a cen
n when l started, and I'm getting alon
Is fine now" THAT SO? Installmen