The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-03-30
THE NONPAREJL Ian

Possibility HInted Darkly That the Ar
tificlaI Limb Company 70 In cahoots
with the Rapldtoodlums Ia Their Mad
Race to Get Their Fellowman-story OF
an Old Capitalist Who Was Darkly
Viewed by a HennepIn Avenue Crowd.
A pair Of livid bruise-blue and yellow
chuggers were gasolening the air Of Hen
nepin avenue from Fifteenth street to the
library the other evening, tearing along
like mad and causing several nervous old
fences for refuge. A fine-looking gentle
man stood on the corner Of Thirteenth
street watching the swift gait of the ma
chimes and rubbing his hands unctuously..
He had a slight rotundity OF figure COW.
cred by white vest, from which hung,
a large gold watch anchor. AS the auto
mobiles few past like pair OF crazy
locomotives with pitchpine in the fire-s
boxes he chuckled with glee and rernaSs<ed,f
half to himself and half to the bystanders.
Glorious! Glorious!''
'Who is that old fellow?v inquired a
stern looking man with a wart on his.
neck. ~
HE? Oh, that's the president of the
Artificial Limb Manufacturing company
The crowd breathed hard and looked al
him again. AS he watched the autos dis
appear In cloud Of dust and mud a.
great peace irradiated from his person and
beamed from his visage. q
The old swimming hole is there, but
its mo gotngs in yet IS
A new triumph Of surgery is said to
be nerve grating Some people already
have enough for two, but they are doubt
less the ones who furnish the supply for.
their needy and more modest brethren.
We will take about a yard Of your best
nerve, If you please, doctorl ;
How would you like to be Mormon
and have five flower gardens to spade up7s
Rockefeller may have cornered the vio-
lets, but our old friend the little piece
Of OFFS; sanded pumpkin, sometimes optirnisti-s
berry," Is here, not wearing any trust
collar. 81 2.-f t'':It =
Is the Mississippi navigable stream
above Camden Place? Yes, for old shoes.
salmon cans and microbes with whiskars
on them from Anoka. ~
Secure your bulbs from the Nonpariel
Seed Store. A little charge Of dynamite
goes with each bulb to break up the
garden. Y
Did you ever have the grip? If you
want to feel like a fried egg, now is the.
time to get a little touch Of it.
IF you were completely strapped ana
had nothing to eat in the house, with the
Easter hat looming large on the horizon.
how would you feel about having second
folio Of. Shakspere concealed under the;
carpet under the bed in the spare room I?
Wouldn't that make it all right? II not.
you're no sport!
There is a good rumor in social circles
that the autograph album is coming in:
again with the Grecian Bend. Many,
many years ago every school girl or school
boy had an album for autographs cen
tanning the names of friends, relatives or
OF celebrities" II any happened to visit
the town. In the latter event the album,
was sent in with the request: $
Jennie Smith wants to know II YOU,
will write in her album .&~ ::
A writer In an eastern paper has been
reprintfng some Of the old albim poetry
that used to delight our children There.
appears this masterpiece: - .s-i
-r-+E. GEtS E2E5tg ~
In the stormsgof life; when You need IN UNI.
May you have uphold, it a handsome younr
fellow. =
On much the same order is the wish
expressed in these lines:ssa
May you thru life remain the same. iA
Unchanged in all except your name
Then there is the boy who wishes tn
be remembered" three times q day at
least: -.
Remember me. with my best wishes
When in the kitchen washing dishes
Another, possibly little more classic,
sings: 81 81 .f4 4
Remember me, my loving friend,
When Ger this little verse you bend; y
|. 80 It is a sign of love for thee
And In return remember me.
AS If we could ever forget the little
dark head and the hair SO neatly parted
down the back Of the neck, ending in
two little pigtails tied with red ribbon!
When we forget that we hope we may be
visited by a twenty Photographs power
boarding house mistress and our board
for the last two weeks demanded at the
point OF force.