The Colfax chronicle., 1904-08-13
NAMES or TOWNS MIsFITs.
Missouri Has q Number That, Accord
ing to Travelling Nan, Are
y ) Out of Place.


A commercial agent Of New York
whose territory comprises the middle
west has collected some curious names
of towns in which he has done busi-
ness. says the New York Sun.
The state which has the greatest
variety" he said, "is Missouri So far
as the names 60, there is a town in
that state for nearly line of business
or profession. Here Is the list of the
towns have visited:
"Akinsville-a good place for doc
tors, eh? Then there is Ascension.
How would that do for man in the
balloon business?
Coming down to the next letter In
the alphabet. there Is Barracks. Good
place for a recruiting officer, don't you
think? l also visited Cane and Com
petition and Couch.
Another town ON my list Is Car.
Funny enough, found no Russians
there, but a Jap had little shop filed
with trinkets.
Under the next letter, have on my
list Doubling Track. Not far from
Christian is the village of Eden. Then
come Economy, Freedom and Gum
City.
"At the last place. some years ago,
an armed mob of citizens held up a
railway train and compelled two
judges of a county court and the coun-
ty attorney, who had saddled big
railroad tax on the people. under pro-
test, to get out, and marched them into
the high grass and shot them. But
the town had been named Gum City
before that incident.
I'm the next county is Grubtown.
and not far away from 1T is Gf6ems-
ville was curious about the last,
but on inquiry learned that there
had not been 9 wedding in that place
for year.
Good Water had more saloons In It
than wells. Mixville, strange to say,
has a prohibition population. I in
quired about Happy Valley, but could
not learn that 1t has any special right
to the name. Punjaub is about as
truly American as any town l have
visited.
I'm the town of Nursery there were
few births in IL months, as learned
upon inquiry. The county of Noda-
way Is about as wide awake as any
through which have Travelled. Rock
port is situated on fiat, and hasn't
a stone in sight. except what has been
hauled there from a distance
"WhiIe stopping over in the town
of Pacific one day saw three street
fights, two dog fights and a couple OF
runaway teams. II there Is any game
in Possum Hollow, it did not cross my
path. Nor did find a single crusader
in Palestine.
81 saw more drunken men in the
town of Reform than any village of its
size in my travels. There is no au-
thor in Romance; the walters in Tip
ton are girls; the magistrate in Brandy
Hill told me he had not had man
before him on the charge Of intoxica-
ton for year,
II think that the lonesomest town
ever visited in that state is Welcome.
And about the quietest place in the
deck Is named Voice. Quick City is one
of the slowest places ever stopped in
for day.
I asked the origin Of Quarantine,
but the oldest inhabitant told me there
had never been an epidemic in the place.
The hilarity of Jollifcation must be on
the quiet. saw nothing and heard
nothing funny in the town, although
l was there two days.
"When l got to Zealot expected to
butt into e bunch of fanatics, but the
people there are as dccile as cage of
+ sick monkeys. The village of Joy was
all broke up when was there with an
epidemic of mumps.
Independence. the county seat Of
jackson, was the retreat of the James
boys in their day, and is near the scene
of many noted train robberies. Liberty
| is the town where the James boys used
to go when they started out on their
raids, and they always went back to
| the place when they were chased With
| in few miles of the place is the farm
of their mother, Mrs. Samuels, whose
arm was blown on by hand grenade
thrown into the window of her home by
a posse OF detectives who were on the
hunt fer her boys
II heard 1 the town of Confidence.
Progress, Success. Lone Jack and Lick
Skillet, but did not visit them mean