Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-03-04
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CHIPS AND RAGS
BY LUE VERNON.
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It's a race between Perkins and
Hearst in operating newspapers.
Miss Maud-No, the "color" used
in the STANDARD office is not q fac,
cosmetic.
"Pug and Parson" is the title of q
new play. Bibles and ropes are the
chief "props."
Revenge is sweet when you get il
yourself. When it is taken out oil
you, it's different.
In Sacramento, right at the cato to
the cemetery, are two tombstone firms
and Olympia has one. Handy, ism,
it?
| Many man who now swears that
Roosevelt is the only man will step to
the polls next election and vote for
some one else.
There are people in the world who
fail to discover the difference between
having strong convictions and being
plainly obstinate.
When the first compositor set in
type the proverb about "Truth is
mighty" he apparently left off the
word inconvenient."
II some men would study the
dictionary half as much as they do
the Bible, there might be hopes Of i'm.
provement amongst mankind.
In Olympia he always scrsped the
fiddle" He returned from Seattle,
not long ago, after taking four lessons,
and he plays the violin" now.
A corn'cob pipe, that is paid for,
gives better satisfaction to the man
smoking, than q beautiful carved
meerschaum which he owes for.
Money.lenders profit At the expense
of the unfortunate but we have known
instances where the unfortunate have
prospered at the expense OF the money.
lenders.
In California they have grocery
stores with saloons attached. In
Washington we have saloons, but the
grocery department is cons picuous by
its absence.
An Olympia woman has watered
her imitation palm tree each day for
six weeks, and thinks that it is grow.
ing taller every day by her strict at
tention in watering it.
Men who have money to burn
usually find golden phoenix rising
from the ashes. The trouble is that
most folks think that money is made
TO burn-and find the bird plated.
So George Dalton Morgan married q
Japanese woman by name of Miss
Yuki Kato. How the Smart set in
New York can wsg their tongues for q
month. But George doesn't care.
Olympia Young Man-"Csn you
play The Maiden's Prsyer'f"
Olympia Young Lady (wearily)-
"Why, yes, can; but what's the usei
You probably would not answer IT,"
A fellow came into the STANDARD
Office the other afternoon aud wanted
his fountain pen filed with that
"good, black ink, same as you use to
print the paper with" Sorry, but his
mission was in vain"
Many men, when away from home
don't mind paying IS . bottle for
wine; yet the same man growls all
day, when his wife asks him for five
cents to purchase . bar OF washing
soap, when he is at home.
If the Russians and Japs fight as
hard as it is for the ordinary human
being to pronounce the names ol
towns or places in their respective
countries, there ought to be "some.
thing doing" by both nations.
To steal . penny is not worth men.
tioning, TO steal ten millions from q
city or commonwealth is high fnan'
ciering, craftsmanship. But if you
steal ten dollars or thousand, WOO be
unto you! The Jail awaits you.
If some women spent a. much time
in sweeping the floors and keeping
their house in order, as they do before
the mirror, making up their face BY
use of skin.destroying cosmetics. there
would not be so many husbands g
down town nights to "see q man."
1t was the downfall OF the once
great Patti-her last tour. She could
not sing as in days of yore, and she
will not be held as the Divine" Patti
any longer. Old age has done for hel
the same as it does for all, rich and
poor; relegated her to the class o.
"has. s.beens."
It's a wonder that the negro ract
are alluded to as the first producer o
musical notes. The notes, in music
as . rule, are black, and the original
negro being Of ebony hue. there seem'
70 be no reason why the negroes can
not claim to be the originators o.
notes-black ones.
Some of the large Republican paper.
are getting worked up over an argu
ment as 70 the eligibility Of Theodore
] Roosevelt ~ 70 Presidential candidat.