Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-12-24
RIDING IN A PARADE

n
mittees who may be required to ride a
horse in tho inaugural parade was feeling
around the other day and asking the adj
vice Of sundry and divers persons Of ex-
perience what sort Of a fiery. Unframed steed
he ought to ride If he really should be re-
quired to climb on top Of horse for the
parade.
A man who weighs 245 pounds, and who
rode a horse in the last inaugural parade,
was free with his advice.
Just don't, that's ALL" said the heavy
weight. Don't ride any horse Rent a
truck, or get an option on buzz-wagon,
or see If you can't rig up a balloon or hitch
on to one Of the artillery gun carriages;
but you won't ride any horse in the in
augural parade II you're real wise and foxy
and listen to me.
Il gained all of the exercise like that that
1 required in my business when l was
wearing my broad sash and things In the
last inaugural parade.
You see, / passed the word around
among my friends that I'd need a large,
weight-carrying skate for the occasion.
One of these friends came to me and told
mel was looking the other way and
didn't catch the twinkle in his eye-that he
had horse about twenty-five and three
quarters hands high that was capable OF
picking up a couple of tons of pig lead and
packing 'em around for a week without
bothering any. told him that his horse
was about my kind, and so 1t was arranged.
Il went down and had a look at the
skate on the night before the parade, and,
sure enough, he was about twice as big as
the giant yak at the zoo, and looked docile
enough to play tag and bean-bag with
We'll. joined my division of the parade
not far from the Peace monument, and /
arranged to have the nag brought there for
me. 1 scattered. my wife and lot of female
relatives in windows along the line OF
march, SOS they could see what toppy,
centaur-like figure made on horse. But
( it didn't go through just the way l an
tfcipated
Il think that chum Of mine that had
let me have the horse must have given the
mutt about four one-quart-each drinks OF
Bloodfields gin before turning him over to
me to bestride. Anyhow, he sure was a
charger. and no mistake, when he was led
up to me. He looked as If he scented the
battle from afar all right Acted like a
have taken a piece out of my arm before
climbed on board of him If 1 hadn't been
real sudden in getting the arm away.
LAS soon as got on top of him he began
to rear up like that plug Andy Jackson is
riding in Lafayette Square, and think he
got over most Of the line of march on his
hind legs.
His owner was waiting for me just as /
got the plug alonside the Peace monument,
and he let out the yell, oh, Fatsky! in dis
respectful allusion to my avoirdupois, in a
tone of voice that could have been heard
up around the treasury.
THAT seemed to be the signal agreed
upon between him and the horse. Anyhow,
the horse tried to climb the Peace monu-
| ment then and there. He didn't succeed,
Of course; but he made mighty pictur-
eSque stab at 1t.
From then on until fell out of the pa
rade with my crowd 1 wasn't the least bit
happy, or any part Of the same. l said
| that the doped plug walked most Of the
way on his hind legs but I neglected to
state that he also walked sideways most or
the route. Right when 1 was trying to cool
him down SOS I could look pretty and
graceful and heroic and Fitz-Lee-like In the
eyes of my wife, the fool horse took 1t into
his head that 1t would be a bully good thing
for him if he could climb into a carriage in
front of him in which lot of distinguished
gentlemen sat
There was no use in my trying to argue
the skate out Of that idea and he came so
near steeplechasing over that carriage that
1t was simply scandalous. l got the horse
into a passable state of common sense be-
fore reaching the Presidents reviewing
stand, and l figured that I'd atone for lot
of previous unavoidable misery by giving
the President a good and proper salute,
anyhow. So, carelessly holding the reins
with my left hand. was just I'M the act OF
smiling benevoiently upon the President and
removing my silk hat to him whtn the mis-
cradle brute packing me suddenly conclud-
ed to rest himself by walking on his front
toes for while. l have never seen SO
much as the swaziland of that silk hat
since. But I've got the consolation of know
ing that the President enjoyed it hugely
could see him chuckling while was trying
to get that horse on all-fours again.
II offered the owner of that horse any
amount in reason that night to permit me
to build a large confagration under the
brute, so that 1 could have the excruciating
Joy of seeing him gradually dissolve into
glue. But he wouldn't name figure or let
AID hat mt hQ a
| The perpendicular dining that l did for
some weeks after the last inauguration Is
something that 1 will not, can not touch
upon