davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
"Uncle Joe'S" OVercoat.

Joseph C. Cannon, Speaker of the
House of Representatives, is not as
careful about the details of his dress
as some other members of Congress-
Since his elevation to his present po-
sition he has paid more attention to
| his apparel than he did when he was
merely one of the many on the floor,
but even now he forgets sometimes to
the extent of leaving a few inches of
waistcoat unbuttoned or cravat
crawling up to his ear instead Of keep
ing under his chin. A few days before
Congress adjourned, he appeared in a
brand new suit, the fit and general
style of which indicated the work of
finished and up-to-date tailor. This
had the effect of reviving a story of
the old days when he did not even
dream, perhaps, of occupying the seat
made notable by Crisp and Reed
Uncle Joe," as he is familiarIy called,
has always been economical and firm
ly believes that a dollar saved is a
dollar earned. One of his methods of
laying up money along these lines
used to be to buy ready made clothing
and to pay not more than $15 for a
suit or an overcoat. The result was
sometimes too marked to be alto
gether acceptable to the members of
his family, and ultimately his daugh-
ters worked out a plan which they
thought would solve all the various
problems involved. The scheme was
simply to go to the clothing store
where their father traded, deposit ii
certain sum of money with the propri-
etor and instruct him to bring out his
best stock when his distinguished Gus
toner called but to say nothing or do
nothing that would give him a hint
that the clothing displayed for his in
spection was not his favorite SIS
grade. Then, if he chanced to select
a suit worth $45 he paid his S15 and
the remaining $50 was taken from the
amount deposited by his daughters.
All went we'll until some of the
neighbors were let into the secret. One
day "Uncle Joe" came proudly down
the street WEARING a handsome new
overcoat for which he had Just maid
SIS, but for which the storekeener
had also deducted an additional thirtv-
FIVE dollars from the trust fund. A
friend who had become acquainted
with the modus operandi of the deal
met him and expressed excessive adnni-
ration for the nav garment.
Yes, it's a fine coat" said Mr.. Can
non. only cost me fifteen dollars
too
you don't say!" was the friends re-
sponse. why, I'll give you twenty
five dollars for it!'
Uncle joe thought a moment. re-
membered that while at the store he
had seen several coats exactly like his
which the statesmen had told him were
held at the same price, and then. NOS
Delns averse to picking up ten dollars
with SO little effort, said. '.PIl 60 vo,, ;.
The exchange was quickly effected
While walking on toward his office
Uncle joe met one of his daughters.
She scolded him for exposing himself to
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
TALK OF THE TOWN
AND9 OF RHE,
TIMEG ~
The PerSevering Jap.

'If the Japanese army gives the
Car as much trouble as one little
brown man gave me a few weeks
ago." said a well-known lawyer a few
days ago, 1.-The Russians will have a
merry time of it.
Il employed a Japanese servant for
a number of years. He went back
home, but before leaving he sent me
a fellow countryman to take his place.
| The newcomer was a good servant.
! but very independent and saucy and
/ ne was not in the house a month
! when had trouble with him. 1 stood
1t for about two weeks more and then
gave him little more than was COM
ing to him and discharged him. He
went to pack his duds, as 1 supposed,
and 1 left the house. About noon I
received phone from my wife ask
Ing me to come home; that Yati.
as we called him, was in the house
and refused to leave. He was so i'm
pertinent, she said, that she was afraid
OF him.
We'll, I went home, grabbed that
little brown man, escorted him down
the stairs. and, hitting him a tap on
away 1 would make mincemeat OF
him. He started down the street,
talking to himself, and 1 thought 1
had seen the last Of him. But was
greatly mistaken.
He was al the house when I came
home for dinner. I repeated the noon
time performance, varying 1t a little
by giving him a kick instead OF SLAP
Even this was not enough, for the
rascal sneaked into his room in the
basement that night and the next
morning frightened the life out Of my
wife by appearing as he usually did.
She screamed and called me, and what
l did not do to that Japanese in the
way of a good beating is not worth
mentioning. He gave me a merry
fight, though, and never quit strug-
CLING until 1 packed him out in the
street and dropped him on the pave
ment. The last I saw of him he was
going down the street with a big po-
liceman, whom had summoned and
directed to give the Japanese a good
scare
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
Home1Oard Bound.

1 sail across conflicting seas,
Dark, fog-girt and profound;
Hope leadeth me and bears me on.
And L am homeWard bound.
The night is long. and drear, and dark,
And darker seas arise;
But on the tempeSts Wrathful breath
Ny home bound pennant flies.
know not when the mist may lift
Its gray wings from the sea
Somewhere before 1 know there lies
Safe anchorage for me.
l know not when on even keel
Shall ride my storm-tossed bark
Sometime l know the call. AIS wel1'-
VIII echo through the dark.
Sometime upon mine ears shall fall
The welcome cry of "Landr'
And on my worn and wave-washed deck
My Pilot soon will stand.
Sometime the yelling mist will fade,
And then across the foam
Across the troubled. breaking bar,
Will CLEAN the lights of home.
And He. who knows the sea I sail
Will take me by the hand;
And, smiling on my battered ship,
Will lead me safe to land.
GEORGE N. LOWE.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
He Guessed It.

Captain Eugene H. C. Leutze, U. s.
N, commander of the battleship
Maine, has German blood in his veins.
and vast knowledge Of detail about
naval ordnance in his head. Before
he was given the Maine and last went
to sea he was superintendent of the
gun factory at the Washington navy
yard, and gained the reputation of
being strict taskmaster.
Habitually an early to bed early to
rise" man, Captain Leutze found him
self unable TO sleep one night. He
arose, dressed. left his quarters. and
walked down to one of the gun shops.
Although three shifts are needed to
dispose of the great press of work now
on hand, there was little doing.
Captain I.eutze's sharp eye detected
a mechanic sitting on the carriage of
a great lathe, which was slowly run
ming to and fro, taking almost infinite
sinai threads of steel from a twelve
inch gun. He was doing, oblivious to
all surroundings, when Captain Leutze
reached his side and aroused him
with:
We'll, what re you doing and
what's your name?"
The craftsman looked up and quail
ed. Then, with a resigned air, he re-
piled: We'll, guess it's Dennis"
He was not discharged.-Ka
City Journal.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

and providing for distributing water on acres that
are arid The building of levecs is considered only
temporary expedent The hope of the movers for per-
n1anent benefit rests the prospect of united action
among the present owners of the lake bed
Iulare Lake was eghty-seven feet below the point on
the Kings River at which taken out to rrigate
about the old lake bed An organization has been effect
ed to be known the Tuare Lake Reclamation and
rlgation Association. This much progress has been
made and more is expected. Seven hundred thousand
acres made agrcuuraly productive will add largely
to the wealth and resources of Kings County
The Hanford Journal reports that much interest is
manifested in proposition have the United States
Government reclaim the land under the arid land law
The alternative is that the people SHALL by concerted
ton and the use of their money, effect what is
found to be necessary. Engineers will be employed
consider the projected work from the expert point of
view.
1t reads something like that the land
about a lake that navigated by living Cali
fornia pioneers has completely changed its environ
ment that irrigation is necessary sustain crops Like
all lake bottoms washed by that are not laden
with chemicals detrimental vegetation the hollow that
marks Iuares former site is very rich With super
inducing climate of Kings County added it will prove
very productive the necessary being provided
der control as requisite.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
MEN analMAkITERS IN
THE F0RIs tie WORLD

and orator. Curran, who was a man
Of come wealth and much dignity, had
a good-for- nothing brother. Time after
time he had helped him financially, but
at last, his patience exhausted, the
lawyer declared that not another sou
would the spendthrift get out of him.
Whereupon the scamp, who might for
the moment have been Eugene Field,
set up q wretched little cobbler's stall
in Ely Place, just across from the ad-
vocate's residence, and put up a sign
over it disclosing his relationship. 1t
ended in the lawyers giving way and
begging his brother to take himself
and his stall away at any price.
In France they are touchy and a
writer can't be too careful about NAM
ing his characters. Not long ago Rene
Bubreuil. a popular romancer, pub
lished a book which contained a char
acter named Bishop Volatile. Volatile,
Of course, means fowl, and now the
novelist is being sued for damages by
Bishop Capon OF Nice, who declares
that this is an allusion to him.
In Partisan literary circles they are
telling new story about Eugene Sue
and the queer way In which he used
TO bargain over his serial rights. His
Mysteries Of Paris" had just appear
ed and Sue was the man Of the mo-
ment. To him went the editor Of the
Constitutional, then one Of the lead
ing French papers. for the purpose Of
securing the rights as a serial OF what
ever new work he had in hand. IT
shall want $40, 900 for it." replied Sue,
payable to-day" The editor said he
was willing to pay It and produced his
check book. Hold on" cried Sue,
there is one condition. I understand
that you have the smartest carriage
and pair in Paris. I stipulate that you
shall send them every day to my house
to bring me my proofs and fetch my
copy" Though the request was rather
an odd one. the editor agreed to IT, and
as the work which he thus obtained
was The Wandering Jew he proba-
bly, never repented OF his bargain.
HAYDEN CHURCH.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

the weather without an overcoak and.
thereupon. he told her the story OF hia
recent deal Then he sauntered on 70
the store and purchased another eeae
like the first for fifteen dollars
You don't know your businesA- be
said to the tailor. as he related the sale
Of the first garment; you're selling
these coats too cheap"
II think you'd make better trades
man than politician said ths taller n
reply.
But the grizzled old w1elder of "a
nations gavel did not see the joke un-
til. some time later, his daughtaR tOld
him the secret.-Success.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
RECLAIMING A LAKE BED

IT HE people of Kings County interested in a
large proposition. The reclamation of the bed of
Tulare Lake is desired. Formerly the lake was
navigated by steamboats, 1t has disappeared from the
map body of water. In the depression where for
merly its waters agrculturists find rich soil A
meeting held in Hanford recently to find out
what be done to make the entire lake bed available
for agricultural
1t represented that of land $1,000 acres IN
extent had been flooded this year because the waters
of the Kings River not carried off in DRAINAGE
canals. 1t is possible to permanently reclaim these
$1,000 and 100000 additional of arid land can
be brought under cultivation if the Kings River is prop
ery controlled and its verdure sustaining moisture s
wisely applied No questioned the accuracy of these
figures. Some discussion followed The outcome was
the appointment of committee of twenty-five citizens
to prepare plan of procedure having in view reclana
tion.
In the course of discussion it developed that the
overfowing of thousands of acres of crops this year
due to the ncompeteness of canal system that will
eventually surround the boundaries of the old lake
This canal has the double object of preventing oveows
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

Chicago professor. confident in the accuracy
or MS vision OF the future than Of ours
risks his fame for prophecy in the assertion that in three
years china will be the center of the worlds stage in
commerce If the chaos of warike uncertainties that
now rules in the Orient be any guide future conditions
IN three years Chnas will be with death
devastation and the bloody greed of predatory nations
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

The wheat of California have organized to ask
the Legislature at its next session appropriate 10000
with which to conduct experiments with the cereal and
to discover if possible the which have contributed
to deterioration AS the fame of California rests more
upon her agriculture than her gold is obvious
that the plan OF the farmers to protect their most vital
interest must meet with popular and governmental ap-
nrnVal
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

The young lady who was forced by court the other
day to return her engagement ring after she had thrown
over the swain that had placed her beroha finger
soohe her chagrn in the reflection that the fellow
she refused wasn't good enough have anything worth
keeping ANYWAY
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
AHSTUerS to Queries.

IN EUROPE-B. N. City. Great
Britain, which includes England. Scot
land and Wales and the Irish Isle. al
though distinct islands, always rank as
a part Of Europe
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

D. w. Freshfield, who ascended
Mount Kangehenjunga with a party
of friends, states that those persons
who suffered from mountain sickness
were most affected between 5000 and
$4,000 feet, and that there was no in
crease Of symptoms up to 10000 feet.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
Park Music To-D0y.

The Golden Gate Park Band. under
the leadership OF Paul Steindorf. wIn
play the following programme In TIA
park this afternoon:
Star Spangled Banner. r...-.................Xa1
March. Southern Belis" s"........MA1 Bugene
Overture "Orpheus" .O6snbaoA
Waltz Southern Roses '.............. Strauss
Solo for flute. fantasie on Spring Song
sAGndel118n8
Grand fantasia. ''Cavalleria Rusticana''..
Aa5c A1BnA
Overture, ''Oberon'' ....--.......... -..WsbsB
(a) CaDrfce. Idle Hours ....... .KrstSchmsR
(b) Oriental Serenade. The Star Dreamer
-......-.... ...ss.s--. .5eno1
aphrase. LOreley' ............... NesvadbA
selection. The BurSomaster' .-...-.. .Luders
''America.'
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07
Stores Wa-fetI

On main business street. All commune
cations confidential W. S. Townsend,
Cal. Glace Fruit. 715 Market st.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

BAROMETER FLOWER - subscrf-
Der, Oakland Cal What is known as a
barometer flower is an artificial one.
colored with chloride of cobalt. In dry
air it is blue, in moist air 1t turns pink
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

Special information supplied daily to
business houses and public men by the
Press Clipping Bureau (Allen's). ESQ Cal
itornia street. Telephone Main 1042.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

Townsend's California Glace fruits in
artistic fre-etched boxes. IT'S Market St
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

LARGEST STEAMER. r. D..
City. and S. Of K. Oakland. Cal. The
largest steamer afioat is said to be the
Baltic Of the White Star line. T25 feet
long, $4,000 gross tonnage. and capacity
for carrying 5000 passengers. The
length Of the Great Eastern was 500
feet. Her passenger capacity was 5000.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-07

L sail across conflicting seas,
Dark, fog-girt and prOfound;
Hope leadeth me and bears me on.
And 1 am hOmeward bound.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-08-07
Estimate of a
London Newspaper
Correspondent.

party. and you may see a gray-bearded
old general and a boyish lieutenant
seated together at the same cheerful
supper table with such a perfect frank
understanding in their camaraderfe that
the younger man lacks nothing in defer
ence and the senior nothing in dignity.
In Lonely Posts.
II is in lonely, frost-bound posts IN 81
IBERIA. in the isolation OF stations among
Central Asian tribes along the far iron
tiers, where the companionship Of ones
own kind means so much more than It
is realized to mean in cities, and this
spirit OF camaraderie is bred and devei-
oped. And in the American army the
same result comes from somewhat SINH
lar conditions.
But OF the Russian officer as a fight
ing man I am unable TO speak. because
I know nothing. He Is too COCO a man
to be anything but a good soldier-of
that I am certain. But as to the man
ner in which his qualities translate
themselves into terms OF war / know no
more than I know OF the fighting planet
Mars. I know that it is blood-colored.
and that is all.
However. I hope 70 see.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-08-07
If You Are Going Before October You Will
Still Find Set Forth Here Many Things
That Will Prove Interesting
and Valuable
and Valuable.

Hoo, which was destroyed by FIRE a
few weeks after the opening. has been
rebuilt and VIII be reopened with IN z
few days.
The entire grounds are in a perfect
state of completeness and present
most beautiful picture in these midsum-
mer days. The landscaping department.
in spite Of a great zeal Of unfavorable
weather. has been able TO put the
grounds into such shape as to elicit the
hearty admiration OF all visitors who
are able to perceive the beautiful Any
statement that the grounds are but half
finished or in any degree uncom pleted
is palDably false
II might be interesting to note what
IS going on al the worlds largest hotel.
the Inside Inn. these DAYS. by a look
at the register. which contains the
names Of III. 400 persons, who have made
the big hotel their headquarters since
the opening OF the fair. OF this number
4. so came in May. 81, 400 IN June, and
in twenty days Of July A. 400. The daily
average registrati ton in June was 2750.
AT a mean rate Of 800 each. making q
total average income for the Inn Of
IS, 80 per day, and s250ooo in round num-
bers for the month. Rather a good
showing for hotel in the summer time
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-08-07

The Battle Abbey THE Destruction
of Galveston" and many others. all Of
which go to make the Pike the greatest
feature ever conceived.
When the exhibit palaces are closed in
the evening, the days attendance be-
comes perceptibIe There is the sober,
artistic element who can find infinite
and exhaustIess delight in the glorious
illumination and the dancing reflections
of the waters Of the Grand Basin. and
there is the crowd on the Pike. From
o'clock until midnight the broad ave
nue. IS a ripping. pulsating sea Of joy
Gus. care-free humanity bent on jolli-
hcation. The Pike crowd is the only
Exposition crowd that looks and feels
its actual size
Exposition Complete.
Reports TO the effect that the World
Fair is in an incomplete state are false
Without exception the main exhibit
palaces were finished before the day OF
opening, April 30. and since then every
State and foreign building and con-
cession structure that was not finished
at that time has been completed, with
the exception of one small building for
which the concession was only granted
three weeks ago The House Of Hoo
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-08-07
MONUMENTS AT WATERLOO.

on the battlefield of Waterloo now
stand two striking monuments erected
10 the memory OF the thousands Of SOL
diers whose lives were sacrificed there
For years there has stood on the top %
a great mound Of earth the figure ~ =
lion marking the spot where the British
stood firm against all Of NapoleOn's on
slaughts This was erected by the Meth
erlands government in particular mem
DRY OF the Prince OF Orange. who fell
there.
on June IS there was dedicated n Mon
ument 70 the French soldiers on the
ground where the last square Of Ma
poleon's old guard was cut down. the
famous corps of which il was said: The
old guard dies, but never surrender"
This French monument Is the wound
ed eagle" IL represents Z. huge bird
perched on a broken flagstaff with the
tattered banner OF the guard One brolz-
en- wings hangs helplessly; the other is
spread out in striking defiance. IT'S
feathers ragged with bullet holes. The
statue was mcdeIed by Gerome
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-08-07

Of more than 500. 900 to build and equip.
Stately facades, astonishing the senses
with their harmonies OF color and alb
sence Of nnawkish signs, raise the Pike
10 the dignity of an educational theater
OF universal features. No circus that
was ever sent on the road, no stupen-
dous spectacle Of ancient Rome. COM
pares with the gigantic combined hui
man interest shows of the Pike.
When you go down the Pike" you
viii have done the circuit OF the globe
Entering the greatest amusement street
OF any exposition at the Remington
sculpturaI group depicting American
cowboys Shooting Up Frontier
Town." you Immediately become in
fected with the fever of its whirl and
spirit.
Old World Lights.
Among the various attractions which
represent an expenditure Of upwards Of
s, 900, O00, are TO be found. Alpine sum-
mits, snow-capped. with Tyrolcan villa
nesting at their feet; Jerusalem. the
Holy City. with its Mosque of Omar.
and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.
the Mount of Olives, and its Garden of
Gethsemane, all the scenes OF the di-
vine passion: India the Mystic. Persia
with its Arabian Nights memories; Bur
NAH. the land or the White Elephant;
Japan. the Idylic; China, the curious /;
the crowded STEAMBOAT OF CONSTANT
nople; Cairo, the city of The Khedive +;
Tibet, the impenetrable domain Of the
Grand Lama. afford but a mere glimpse
of the Oriental scope Of the Pike. These
things have nothing 10 do with the flu
sions Paris by Submarine Loaf and Re-
turn on an Airship:" a Voyage to the
North Pole The Magic whirlpool
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-08-07
A Splendid Fellow, Great,
Big-hearted, and Full
BlOOded.
7 TRAVELLED half way across rhe
world with the Russian ofHcer-a

7 TRAVELLED half way across rhe
world with the Russian oficer-a
L trainload Of him from the general
officer down 10 the junior subaltern
and by the time you reach the other
end OF the Siberian Railway you know
something OF your fellow-passenSers
says Charles E. Hand. who is now at
Mukden representing the London Mall
as Far East correspondent.
I have lived with him in a smelly base
town through the dreary lOnguers OF
the concentration stage Of warfare. 1
have eaten with him the nI-cooked food
Of the tenth-rate Far Eastern hotel. and
drunk with him the sweet champagne of
Far Eastern conviviality. 1 have talked
politics with him and cookery and Ie-
ligion. l have played chess with him
and done horse deals with him. and
played vint with htm-which is bridge
Of the fourth dimension.
A Splendid Fellow.
It is true I have seen nothing Of him
where I would like best to see him-Out
with his men in the open, and the other
fellow on the sky-Iine-but that is Meth
er his fault nor mine. Nevertheless. I
know hun pretty we'll. And he is a
splendid fellow. a great. grand, big
hearted. full-blooded man. and FOR
friend and comrade as good as 1 either
hope or desire to possess.
There are some 5000 Yersts Of line be-
tween Moscow and Hardin, and I esti-
mate that the acts OF kindness. consid-
GRAFTON, and courtesy extended TO me by
my officer fellOw-passengers averaged
one to every verst of the journey.
Introduced Themselves.
I was an absolute stranger to every
one on the train, utterly unknown and
speaking scarce a word OF the impossi-
BILE Russian language, but on the first
day out the three officers aboard who
spoke English came 10 me and intro
duced themselves. and nearly all the re-
mainder took pains to let me know that
they spoke French or German, or both
Some OF them took infinite trouble in
trying 10 teach me Russian.
There was "a general officer of high dis
tinction with whom l had exchanged but
few words on the journey, since he
spoke no language but Russian. But It