davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
TIME HoNoRED FAMILY JOKES.
Mrs. John j. Ingalls, and the Spot of
Gravy on Her Dress.

In every family there are family
jokes on some member of the family,
and often they are better than the pro-
fessional ones you hear. Here is time
honored one in the family of Mrs. John
j. ingalls,:
"At the diner table one day Mrs
ingalls, dropped a little gravy on the
front of her dress. One of her daugh-
tiers called her attention to it. Mrs.
ingalls, said: My dear, I knew the spot
was there. You neel not have troubled
yourself to call the attention of other
people at the table to it. If the spot
annoys you, you may leave the table,
And the next time Mrs. ingalls, dropped
something on the front of her dress all
her children got up and marched away
from the table. The event has passed
into the family joke book
Speaking of family jokes, there is one
told by the children of good woman
at Topeka which has never ceased to
mortify her, though many years have
passed since it happened. The family
were entertaining at Lawrence dis
tinguished Presbyterian minister. The
husband was one who had to be re-
minded when a plate was empty and
needed another serving. His wife, when
company was present, practiced a tele
graphic code in attracting his atten-
ton. 1t consisted simply, but effective
ly, of kicking his shins under the table.
On the occasion of the preachers visit
she repeatedly kicked her husbands
shfns to make him pass the chicken. He
continued his conversation, oblivious to
her reminders. She kicked more ener-
getically, but still ne went composedly
along without paying the slightest at
tention. By and by the preacher, a
man of age, humor, and discretion,
turned to his hostess and said: my
dear Mrs. -, II you will tell me what
you are kicking my shins for, will try
and do it,
Many are familiar with the English
y feI,O <N,f,x .1.-F1
the question of paralysis. He fancied
he would he stricken down by the
dread disease. At a dinner one day he
startled the guests by exclaiming: 1--WE
got it at lasti The long delayed sum-
mons has come" Got what. bishop?"
inquired the anxious host. 1.-The para
lysis,'' replied the bishop, solemnly. 1T
have been feeling it coming on all day.
For the past fifteen minutes I have
been pinching my leg and I can feel no
sensation whatever" 'It is my leg you
have been pinching," blushingly inter
rupted the plump Duchess who sat next
to him.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
HAD A STORMY PASSAGE.
Kansas Mineral Collection Arrives
Badly Smashed.

The Kansas mineral collection from
st. Louis arrived in Topeka Thursday
night and appears to have had a
stormy passage. Several of the big
glass cases are broken and the col
lection of Kansas mineral water is en-
tirely destroyed by freezing. The glass
bottles containing the water were
nearly AL smashed.
Aside from the glassware packed in
the car, the collection is of course I'M
injured. because it consists of things
which are not very easily broken. The
car was packed with the greatest care,
but It seems to have had rough hand
ling from the railroad company.
It is now too late to put the magnif1-
cent collection on exhibition for the
Kansas Academy of Science meeting.
The big packing cases are being taken
out of the car and put in the basement
of the state house. They will be I'M
packed and placed on display by Prof
G. P. Grimsley. the commissioner in
charge of the Kansas exhibit. Prof.
Grimsley expects to stay in Topeka
until January 10 arranging the co1lec-
ton in the rooms of the Kansas Acad-
erny of Science.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
GET OUT OF STATE.
Suit to Gust Kansas Natural Gas Com
pany Is Filed.

A big array of legal talent is lined up
against the Kansas Natural Gas COM
pany in a suit brought in the Kansas
supreme court today to GUST that cor
poration from doing business IN the
state of Kansas on the grounds that it
is a nonresident of the state with ut
authority TO do business in Kansas.
man in relation to the state of Kansas.
and by Waggener, Doster &S Orr, Zieg
Ter and Dana and Mayo Thomas, coun-
ty attorney of Montgomery county
The suit also includes a petition for
the court to compel the Kansas Nat
ural Gas company to pay the attorneys
fees in the case amounting to $1,000.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
Gear Wants to Talk to Him.

Paris, Dec. 30.-Admiral Kazankoff,
who was Russia's representative on the
International commission of inquiry in
to the North Sea incident, but who has
Vice Admiral Doubassoff, starts for st.
Petersburg tomorrow after receiving. a
laconic dispatch saying Emperor Mich
olas desired to converse with him. The
admiraPs health which is said to have
been the cause of his recall is excel
lent. Members of his staff say the re-
newed naval preparations are doubt
less the cause of the conversation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Once the church was organized to
get men into heaven; now to get
heaven into men. Once to keep men
out OF hell; now to keep hell out of
men The whole motive in church
life is gradually undergoing a change
wnlch amounts to revolution. For
merly it was selfish; now it is a1trn-
ist1c. Formerly a man joined the
church to save his own soul; now or
at least In the future, he will Join the
church That in this cooperative fell
soul. We are beginning to under
stand that the best way to save orr
own souls is to save some other soul
church, Chicago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
KANsAN is DROWNED.
Report From ST. Louis Says DR.. Young
of Marion Is Lost.

ST. Louis, Mo-, Dec. 30.-Dr. Hiram
w. Young, a native of Marion, Kan,
was drowned 25 miles below ST. Louis
today in a launch accident. He was
on his way down the Mississippi with
a party of friends. The particulars of
the accident are not known.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

The November total arrivals of grain
of all kinds at interior centers were in
the aggregate lighter than for a cor
responding period in 1903, although corn
shows marked gains at a number of
markets. The net loss at Chicago Is
largely attributed 10 reductions in re-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
Tnmmanx Chiefs Re-eIected.

New York, Dec. 30.-Tammany Hall
has organized for 1905 by re-electing
practically every one of its officers. ].
Sergeant Cram was reelected chair
man of the general committee and
Daniel F. Mcmahon was reelected
chairman of the executive committee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Governor Peabody appears inclined to
pursue the same methods in settling
the election contest in Colorado, that
he used in putting end to the strike
He has not begun deporting Demo-
Gratis yet but he has a lot of them in
iail
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

When 1<ingdon Gould shot at the
Columbia sophomores, perhaps he was
merely practicing in preparation for
taking a hand in 'frenzied finance
when he grows up.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
DEATHS AND FUNERALS.

The infant child of Mr.. and Mrs. ]. D.
Alexander of 226 Chandler street died on
Thursday afternoon. The funeral will be
held on Saturday afternoon at O'Clock.
The funeral of John Wilson, who died
on Wednesday, will take place Sunday af-
ternoon at 2 o'clock from Halliday church.
The arrangement for the funeral of Mr..
Frank Lyman, who died Thursday, have
not yet been made.
Mrs. Thomas White who came to
Shawnee county in 1866 died Thursday
at st. Margaret'S hospital in Kansas
City. Mrs. White moved to Perry
with her husband 20 years ago and
since then has lived at that place. She
has been suffering from cancer and her
death followed an operation. Mrs.
White was an aunt of Mrs. T. J. Cough
lin of Topeka. The funeral will be at
80 a. m. Saturday in Perry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
Tower and Mccormick to Stay.

Washington, Dec. 30.-It has been
decided by President Roosevelt that
Ambassador Tower at Berlin and Am
bassador Mccormick at st. Petersburg,
will be retained at those posts in the
new administra ton.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY.


NOT cosmetic, face wash or paint-Satin
Skin Cream beauties because it alb
serbs and meals blemishes. Csc.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Tom Watson is about to start ?
magazine The fashion of defeated
presidential candidates becoming edi-
tion is growing. Judge Parker has not
Yet shown any disposition to take up
with the vogue l-r
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30
Women VIII Try to End War.

st. Petersburg, Dec. 30.-It is re-
ported from Moscow that some ladies
In the highest society are proposing
to form a Russo-Japanese league with
the cooperation of ladies at Toxic to
agitate for a termination of the war.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

The Letter girls are all married now.
so that the. way is open for some other
American heiress to secure a duke.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Now it is said that Mrs. Chadwick is
crazy and Nan Patterson is nearly so.
Let US hear from the public that has
been reading about them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Mr.. Carnegie has authorized st.
Louis to draw on him for million. 1t
looks as though he has no intention of
paving those Chadwick notes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

An exchange says Addicks is a can
didate for United States senator from
New Jersey. Has he given up the fight
in Delaware?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Among the other goods things con-
nected with the congressional recess is
the fact that the ship subsidy and river
and harbor grabs are postponed a little
lnrlrrar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Senator Depew announces THAT he has
won his fight for reelection to the
United States senate from New York.
If he has done so it proves that Old
Man Plat is not yet dead.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Prepare to make the most of New
Years. 1t will be the last holiday for a
long time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-12-30

Geraldine-Why on earth doesn't Chollv
get 70 work and do something?
Gwendolin-Oh. let him alone-ba,d -
sure to do 1t wrong If he did It's better
as it is.-Cleveland Leader. Seeeer
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

HOME NEWS.
All About Webster, Her People
And Her Visitors.

Snow Sunday.
Some mud these days.
Sweet pea seeds at Arnett's.
This is St. Patrick's day.
We clip horses, Dr.. M. M. Judge.
Take i'll the dance tonight.
Treat your seed grain for smut.
Green is the popular color today.
Get your horse bills at this office.
A good time to clean up seed grain.
Fresh tomatoes at Arnett's grocery.
Try the new man at the Star Gallery.
Did you get IL share i'll the coach
horse.
Arnett has seed corn, potatoes, peas
etc.
Winter still fingers III the lap OF
spring.
See DR.. Judge about v~accinating your
cattle.
Willard Aasved was over from Bristol
Friday.
Get your pictures taken at the Star
gallery.
Major Calmenson was on the streets
Sunday.
Get your fine teas aud coffee at
Arnett's.
Geese are going north. A good sign
of spring.
f. H. Taylor is now a member of the
World force.
For spring clothing go to the Eleva-
tor Store.
DR.. Brooks was in Waubay on bust
ness Sunday.
For abstracts Of title call on Carl
Malmberg.
l.. Gross spent Sunday IN Minneapo-
lis on business.
| please everybody in watchsrepairing
Malmberg.
G. ID. Peterson has gone east to visit
for a few days.
Garden seeds of all kinds at Arnett's
cash grocery.
Frank Sears visited his daughter in
st. Paul Sunday.
Knapp is the man to buy your brick
ice cream of.
Will Webster celebrate the glorious
Fourth this year?
Bring your watch repairing TO Harris
jcwelry store.
N. l.. Finch, the Andover banker, is
III Webster today.
Arnett's grocery is the place for fresh
fruit and fish.
st. Mary's Guild met with Mrs. Dun
ton this afternoon.
Wanted-100 young turkeys at
Knapp's Hotel.
+. ID. Baltic is now employed in
Willow City, N. d.
If you wish a loan. Call on the First
National bank.
II. Gunderson returned from a trip to
California Monday.
Buy Arnett's famous tea and coffee.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-03-17

ooou Inllllng Wheat AT u premium. at
the Webster mill.
w. G. Warner made a business tr;n
to Waubay Sunday.
We have the finest line of horse cnts
IN the northwest.
Frank Sears was in Aberdeen on MS
mess Monday night.
Wanted-5Oo chickens at once. at
knapp's restaurant.
VIM. Mahaney dropped in from his
Sisseton home today.
Come to Arnett's and get another
guess on the watch.
l.. Z. Parker, the piano doctor, was
in the city Wednesday.
We have the largest line of iewelrv Mt
Harris iewelry store.
Three new brick business buildings
for Webster this spring.
j. Il. Enberg, of Butler, was a Web
ster visitor Wednesday.
Leave your orders for cut flowers at
the Irwin Pharmacy.
DR.. p. b. Jenkins, of Waubay, was a
Webster visitor Sunday.
First class dry maple, oak and tama-
rae at Wearne's yards.
Norwegian literary club was formed
i'll this city last evening.
We carry the largest line of watches
at Harris jewelry store.
Mrs. p. b. Jenkins, of Waubay, was
a Webster visitor Tuesday.
Don't buy your harnesses before see
ing Carlson & Hunter.
Father Kane, of Bristol, was in the
city between trains Monday,
Call and look over u fine engraving
at Harris jewelry store.
Wyman Ryder and son were visitors
from Strand Monday evening.
Horses, yes, we shoe them and do it
right, VIM. Magnus Co.
Frank Smith was up from Waubay
between trains Monday night.
The Star gallery will take your photo
and guarantee Satisfaction.
Edward Coin, of Bristol, was a visitor
in Webster Monday on business.
Buy your dry cord wood from f. a.
MaaIua south of tho +rooJ.
George Il. Terpena and wife spent
Wednesday with Milbank friends.
DIR. Judge has the latest improved
machine for clipping horses.
VIM. Knott and wife and Mrs. Dud-
ley arrived from Bristol Thursday.
Johnson, the new man at the Star
Gallery guarantees his work.
County Auditor Egeland transacted
business in Aberdeen Tuesday night.
If you are dry go to Chas. J~ohnson's
the best place in town.
w. +. Wells, of Hague, n. D., was III
the city between trains Saturday night.
We sell the chcapest-save your
money at Harris jewelry store.
Go over to Judges veterinary barn
and see the French coach horse.
Don't forget that Twins drug store
Pasteur,s black leg vaccine.
Some OF the finest pictures on earth
at the Star Gallery in Webster.
Before selling your wheat, get best
offer from the mill. They need wheat.
Take your watch repairing to Malm-
berg and get it done good and prompt.
Martin Mccormick came up from
Bristol and spent Sunday with the
Have your rings and jeweiry reset
and repaired as good AS new at Malm-
Ochsenreiter's $40 Smut machine is
fast. Better go and look at it.
guaranteed to kill the Smut.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-05-18
The COHEN
CASE Up
Police Testify to the
Affair at the
Orpheum.

The police prosecution of Manager
Cohen for assaulting the free show con-
tingent of cops, started in yesterday
before Judge Lindsay. The testimony
of the police was to the effect that Lieut.
Leslie, in Uniform, had gone into the
gallery part of the theater, sized up the
audience, seen several score of blue
jackets and come to the conclusion that
large force of police was needed to
quell possible disturbances. Outside on
the sidewalk were officers White, Rich
ardson, Holt special officer Hebron and
bicycle officers Mulleitner and Nelson.
all in plain clothes. Leslie went out and
told them to go inside His explana-
ton was that general orders" of the
High Sheriff given three or four years
ago, but not very definite, were that of
fcers could go TO the show on duty
According to the officers this solid
phalanx of seven police officers with
Leslie at their head marched up the
steps but only Leslie got through the
door. The plainclothes officers were
stopped by Doorkeeper Davis who in
formed them that he had orders not TO
admit police officers except with tickets.
These, he said, could be procured free
from Mr.. Cohen at the box Office
Badges on plainclothes men were not
acceptable at that performance Leslie,
however, told them to go in, and at that
juncture Cohen appeared and barred
their way, saying ne was not running a
free show for the police force" and ac-
cording to Leslie used some improper
language Then to enforce his desire
to keep the officers out he had showed
White by the shoulders SO that he fell
down the steps. He had then showed
Richardson and in an instant the whole
sextette were at the bottom of the
stairs, with Cohen on top of the bunch. "
Officer White was somewhat nervous
in giving testimony. He and the others
had just happened" in front of the
Orpheum None were on duty, except
that White said in true tragedian style.
AN officer is always on duty" No, they
had not gone there with the intention of
taking in the show. Leslie came and
said that general orders of the High
Sheriff were in effect and that the Off
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-05-18

he knew of Leslie himself remembered
having seen Captain Kanae and officer
Apana in the house. According TO door
keeper Davis and list shown in the
courtroom by Cohen there were twenty
police officers ston duty at the Orphe,nn
on the opening night of the American
Travesty Stars As the house was
packed there were present about GOO
people. This would give one police
officer for every As patrons present.
Davis said that he had referred the
matter of entrance of piainclothes men
to Mr. Cohen. when Lieut.. Leslie asked
for admittance Lieut.. Leslie then order
ed the men to come in. Cohen appeared
and after conversing for a minute with
Leslie said to the latter: well, if they
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-05-18

come in, it viii be over my body" He
then went to the wicket and said the men
could not enter. Leslie repeated his order
and when Cohen stretched his arms
across the doorway, Leslie said ARREST
him."
According to Davis, White and two
others then breasted" Davis is Brit
on) Cohen and forced him back from
the wicket. Davis assisted in pushing
Cohen back to the wicket and it was at
this time that White was pushed against
Richardson and so on down the line like
pack of cards, SO that the men all fell
in heap down the stairs, Cohen being
pulled along" by the men.
Cohen was then arrested and taken
to Fort street without his hat, although
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-05-18

GERS were needed inside to look out for
fights He did not know exactly what
Leslie had said TO him, except that Les
lie might have spoken about the young
ladies"
rs that his habit inquired Mr.. Rob-
ertson
sNo-o-o," White fastened to correct,
that's not his habit, it's mine.
Henry Davis the doorkeeper, said
that two officers had previously asked
for adn1ittance on their badges and he
had referred them to the box-ofhce- One
had gone and got ticket The other.
Lieut.. Hart, said he would do no such
thing, and had pushed past him and
into the body of the house. There were
already two others in the house that
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-05-18

he asked permission TO obtain it, and
then to the street corner where the
patrol wagon was called Leslie said
he refused to allow Cohen to ride to
the station in hack.
1.-THE patrol wagon was built to carry
people we arrest" said the Lieutenant
Judge Lindsay adjourned court at 4
o'clock The defense has a lot of wit
nesses to examine this morning
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-05-18
THE NEW FRENcF REMEpY:.
asx n ~m IN. n ~Aa Tbsa sa.n.reunlk&

THE NEW FRENCH REMEDY:
THERAPION. a a5s p :,ssS:s-. :
ensdy. used in tie Continental Hospitals by RAeos
RosEan. Jobers velpsAa. and others oomeinse e. -
the destdeFatA 20 DO sought IN Q medicine a. -
ktnd. and surpaeses EVERY thing hitherto enpcyecs
THERAPfON no. . maintains ses wossst
bE0oWne1 and ven .unaritsd reputation Tor os<40Ge
mSuts Of skxe kldneys, pains tn the back $50
kindFsA aiimenss, adordlng prompt relief wassa
skheg Wsll.erfsd remedies have been powefieea
THERAPION no. z fortmpcrity Of the hsc9eS
kesaFvy pAmples, apots. btotche5 pains ana sWe.Ms
sFolnts goat rhsunlatism, all diseases fog Wfaes
n hss beSaa too much fashion % employ mascnzys
s%yauarlIIa 20 the destruction OF sufferers eeet
and ruin Of hoAlth- This prepors ton puT1nss ID
efnls system through the blood. and thoroughly
eliminates all poisonous matter from the body.
TNERAPgoN No 3 for exhaustion, asssps
Gsnsss, and ali distressing CONSCIOUSNESS %
6fszapaticu. worry, overwOrks &C. IL posasaseS
srrTssnr power In restoring strength and vigos On
fhnss suffering from the enesvsting influences a.
konr residences IN hot. unhealthy olmatea.
RHERAPt0N u sold by the pTtnefPAB
Gssatsss and Merchants throughout the world!
k1foa Ia En1innd, "a Cd. aud - Cd. In orda1,
Enm sss2s ~hSch u the three numb@s b ~.
ess{rwA and observe that saS woEa :" TERRAySo~ I
SppNs1v ou chs British 0ovexnnaBne Stamp O.
Nhsss Ie4esEs ca Q rcd gTUund1 ef6xad - every
wsDukns pastrAgs bY exter a His Ma3GSeys Eaaa
NsIzszsasseaAHs, ana UtskesA wSssA q b eeeENE5
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-07-08
SHY FORTY MILLIONS
Deficiency in Uncle Sans Ac-
count For the Fiscal Year
lust Closed.
fsnecial to The Hsra1dN


Washington, July The close OF
the fiscal year found the government
shy S4I000, COO But this is only an i'm
aginery deficiency. and one that is the
result Of the uncertainty as TO what
Will be the governments expenses for
an ensuing year. The day following
the declaration OF the deficiency OF
81. 600, 900 this amount was immedi-
ately transferred from the apprOpri-
ations made by congress in the ses-
sion just closed for the fiscal year
beginning July /. 1904 TO last until
June 80 1903. 10 the debit side of the
books for the year ended June 30, 1904
Congress never knows what the ex
penses of the government are going
% be. and hence. besides making APP
propriatiOus for specific projects,
places money available for the unex-
Pected expenditures which may arise,
and one of these during the past year
was the immense item involved in TAX
ing over and starting work on the Pan
ana canal. There Il no danger OF the
issuance of bonds or Of the government
getting into any straits over the de-
fciency Just declared therefore It was
simply following a system Of book
keeping made necessary by the ext
gencies OF circumstances.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-07-08
SWALLOW WILL RUN
ON PR0HIB TICKET

Indianapolis. Ind. July 7.-Oliver w
Stewart. chairman of the national Pro-
hibition committee. said today:
The Prohibitionists have nominated
the Rev. Siias c. Swallow OF Harris
burg for president; he has not declined,
he will not decline the nomination. and
the Prohibitionists are not going to
hold another convention
And" he continued. you can also
say that the Prohibition party is not
going into any alliance with any one.