The Minneapolis journal., 1904-10-19
TIE NONPAREIL MAN

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inquiries at Montreal recently and was
nrst astounded and then disgusted to
learn that the Canadians did not allow
voting over there for so good presiden-
t1al candidate. So he packed up and
trlpped away to Fargo, where there Is no |
objection to voting fer Roosevelt and
where the, crowd is preparing to acquire
the habit. ~s6, .S.@-.
The major is looking quite stout and
well and finds that Canada or, in fact, any
other cold place agrees with him wonder
1ully. The major has given out his wheat
estlmate at figure just half way between
the two leading crop experts and so feels
quite safe.
Major Edwards recently made a great
hit with the Canadians by rescuing q
beautiful girl from burning hotel. The
names had cut off the stairway and there
was no IRE escape. Before the hook and
ladder boys arrived, the major climbed a
telegraph pole, stepped across the dizzv
space to the window ledge, seized the
fainting girl in his arms ana climbed
down the pole. When she reached the
ground she remarked
my preserver!'' s&s
There is talk Of obtaining the Carnegie
hero medal for the consul general.
She Called Up "Mlddle. A telephone
girl tells the Fargo Forum st some of her
experiences in answering calls. Recently
German woman was in the city taking
medical treatment with local specialist
and she wanted to call up her husband.
Instead Of asking if she was addressing
central" she said:
''Is dis middle?''
Il want ade, holdings, ade."
tVat?" = ~, !
us dat you, Gus-?''
Say, middle, vat is? can me no
ged Gus?"
''Ach, Gus, is dat you?"
,'Gott in himmel"-and the wires kinked
up. -
ley correspondent of the Cottonwood Cur
rent tells of a friend who.i did not par
ticipate in a certain, battle during the
Spanish American war, but who will in
an. early number Of the Green Valley
Knocker contribute an article in regard
to that battle from the standpoint Of a
man who Is unacquainted with fear, but
who would rather arbitrate The most
thrilling part Of the article Is where he
describes the overwhelming feeling of
sadness that overcame him when he re-
allZed that he was too utterly exhausted
to proceed to find suitable board of
arbitrators, and too far away to partici-
pate in the battle. A condition of mind
| and body like this has it's advantages.
Have Your Commercial Establishment
"Took"-The Adrian Democrat tells how
1t was done in that town: ..... ~.
Two. men, one carrying tripod and
camera the other carrying high stack of
Photographic plates, bound around by a
| shaWlstrap, halted in front of a store
| fr o,,S
ready for them,'' said the man with the
camera, as he spread his tripod in the
gutter and took aim at the front door OF
the grocery store. z
The other member of the firm went in
side and said to the storekeeper:
Were going to take a picture Of your
store. You'd better come out in front
! with the Clerks A.t --.r.
why are you going to take a picture;
That's all right You don't have tt
pay anything unless you want to. Ge
everybody out in front"
His partner grouped the merchant anc
his clerks in the front door and said:
Everyone stand STILL" ~
There was a click. The man at tn,
camera said, all right, and slid in
panel. Then he and his partner gathered
up their outfit and moved on. u.
Four days later the partner of the maj
who had worked the camera came into tn,
store and displayed a dozen handsom,
photographs. 81 Il s.rI d.
: I'VE got good picture" said he to tn
merchant. That's very good likeness o
YOU" ''It's pretty good picture sal,
the merchant, closing one eye and sur
veying the photograph with admiration
Those will be nice souvenirs to SEN
to your friends and relatives" 49,.
: Il didn't order any pictures"
Certainly not, and you don't have t
take them unless you want to, but
should think you could find use for
dozen of them'' .-.
What are they worth?"
I'll let you have them for $2.50."
didn't order 'em and I don't car
much for 'em, but I'll give you $780,
That's pretty cheap, but I'll take it..
It is thus that some travelling pho
! tographers make their money. The
: know that every man is f1attered whe
he sees himself in photograph standin
: in a proprietary attitude in front of hi
, establishments
Pinetop as Beverage-Dr. Wiley Of til
government bureau Of chemistry says the
. IS per cent Of all whisky is adulteratet
The moonshiner contends that the pure!
whisky manufactured the government wi
: not allow to be sold. Even that Pre-
!. scribed drink Is sometimes adulterate
with harmless beverage called waite
! But as a, good allaround whisky, Mort
9 Carolina "pinetop' has many advantage
n and were it not for the curiously hosti
/. attitude of the government, it might be
!. come a popular poison. One Of the boy
= once brought back from the south bo
: tie Of 'pinetop' and presented 1t to
e newspaper artist. He drank It, but n
: marked rather doubtfully that too muc
of it would make a Quaker strike h
mother. never felt quite sure wheth,
. this was altogether complimentary to II
beverage. .ss
:. "A. ]. r.
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