Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-04-09
SINNERS SUNDAY.

SINNER. i've had the tOothache DefOre
and it'll go away again don't be-
lieve that oil of cloves is any goou,
though. It doesn't seem to work.
TRY the hot water bag, suggested
the Little Woman
He affectionately clasped it to the
side of his face until the skin grew
flaming red. But the tooth kept on
aching.
DO try and eat a little breakfast,
William" coaxed the Little Woman
How can | eat breakfast" howled
the Sinner, in an injured crescendo,
with this Observation-Disclosures
thing sending thirty million thousand
volts of distilled damnation through
my Uranium? Every time | open my
mouth it pretty nearly kills me-"
Better keep it shut then" admon-
ished the Little Woman, adding, but
l really think you'd better see a dem
tist, dear"
Where can | see dentist to-day
it's Sunday-ow. OUGHT All the dem
lists in town are home in the bosoms
of their families. and I've got to sit
here and suffer"
Il think | can get my dentist to do
something for you. offered the Lit
tie Woman. "I'1l run across the hall
to Mrs. Thompkins and telephone to
him That makes me think, William,
| wish you'd have a telephone put In
our place. need it for so many
things. VIII you?"
Don't make me talk" mumbled the
Sinner behind his handkerchief. THE
airs bad for this TOOTH"
The dentist was home and, FORUM
ately, was willing to oblige the Little
Woman, as his office was near his own
residence. So short time later saw
the wild eyed Sinner greeting calm
and blond young man who seemed to
be expecting him.
''You the dentist?" grunted the Sin
ner.
You Mr.. Sinner" queried the calm
young man.
"Ye-eow!" replied the Sinner, as an
extra pang caused him to caress his at
fiicted jaw.
"Sit down" commanded the dentist,
and the Sinner obediently sat as indi-
Gated.
(Which tooth is it?" asked the dentist,
as he screwed down the chair and fitted
the head rest.
How the dickens do I know" in
quired the Sinner. tits my whole jaw,
l."
Further speech was interrupted by the
dentists finger, which inserted itself in
to the Sinners mouth.
After various tooth-tappings and
questions by the dentist, and answering
grunts by the Sinner, the troublesome
piece of ivory was located.
"You don't want it pulled said the
dentist
"Oh, Lordr groaned the Sinner. do
anything you want, only get the agony
over as quick as you can
It'll hurt some" cautioned the dem
fist, beginning to arrange his instru
ments.
Going to use the buzzer?" apprehen-
sively asked the Sinner.
Yep"
well, save the pieces" he requested.
and laid his head back for the ordeal.
This is what followed:
Biz-z-z-z-z-z-bizz-b izz-biz-z-z-z-
"Aw-aw--uh."
Biz-Z-z-z-zz-
The Sinners legs elevated themselves
and waved wildly in the air.
BE careful-keep your mouth open."
commanded the dentist.
Biz-Z-z-z-z-bizz-b zz-biz-z-z-z-z-z-
"Oggle-urgle-ugg le-uggle!"
Biz-z-z-Z-biz--
The instrument was suddenly with
drawn as the Sinners elbow planted
itself violently upon the fourth button
of the dentists vest.
81 want to SPITl" he yelled, as he
performed that function
well, you needn't hit me in the stom-
ach to do it." retorted the dentist.
HUH" snorted the Sinner, you
oughtn't to mind little things like that
when you're taking the top of fellows
head off and choking him to death in the
bargain"
"Ready?" asked the dentist
why don't you chloroform your vic
Tins before you begin on 'em ?" asked the
impatient patient. belligerently. "Why
the Lori put nerves in teeth is more than
l can understand. 1t was very inconsid-
crate of Him"
ooh, | don't know" replied the den
fist as he again began operations. 81
think the Lord was considerate enough
to know that we poor dentists had to
make living. There, that's the worst
of it now. Feel any better?"
"I'n never" moaned the Sinner. think
with pleasure of this hour"
Talk about the pleasure" ruefully
insinuated the dentist, as he rubbed the
spot attacked by the Sinners elbow.
-Ill have to kill your nerve" he added.
what for?" objected the Sinner. 81
need all I've got to make living"
who's doing this job?" demanded the
dentist.
"You are" meekly returned the Sin