davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
QUEER AUMANACS.
Australian Shepherds Have Odd
Ways of Marking Time.

why's
The boundary riders of tEc great
Australian sheep ranches have each II
district To look after, In which one
must keep the Wire fences In repair
and see that the sheep come To no
harm. 1t Is a hard and lonely life. liv
ing, rs each boundary rider does, quite
alone In the Wilderness. \ writer tells
of some of the curious ways in which
these solitary men keep count of the
days
one old man who had lived In the
back country for thirty years used two
jam tins and seven pebbles one tin
was marked. This week" and the 9th
he would take pebble from Last
week" and drop II into This week.
and each subsequent morning till This
week" had swallowed the seven. They
We're returned to Last week" and the
old fellow knew that another Sunday
had passed.
Another man had tried and failed
with several plans. At last he hit on n
new idea He made big damper (cake
OF flour and waterl ON Sunday night
and marked II into seven sections,
each section being n days allowance,
80 that every time he picked up the
damper the grocer would remind him
OF the day. Unfortunately one Tues
day there came Il visitor with n raven
GUS appetite. The host stlntcd him
self that the hungry one might be sat
isfel with the days section. But he
wasn't With anxious eyes the host
saw the knife clearing the boundary
line and the hungry man ruthlessly
carving into his almanac. At last he
could stand il 10 longer,
stop, stop he cried as he grabbed
the camper and glared at IL,
There" he said, you've eaten Toos'
day and We'nday, and now yer wanter
slice the best o the mornin' o Thurs
day. an won't know the day o the
week"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
Good For Children.

The pleasant to take and harmless
One Minute Cough Cure gives instant
relief in all cases Of Cough, Group aud
LaGrippe because it does not pass
Immediately into the stomach, but
takes effect right at the seat of the
trouble. 1t draws ont the inflamma-
ton, heals and soothes and cures per-
manently by enabling the lungs to
contribute pure life-giving and sus-
DEMONSTRATING oxygen to the blood
aud tissues. Sold by all druggists.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16

A well known writer of humorous
prose and verse was talking with n
bihliomaniac when the latter said: by
the way. | am collecting first editions
of American authors. | want to add
your first book 10 my collection. Have
You any caHies of the first edition%"
"Iea." answered the author II have
all OF item. Critic,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
Dreadful.

The Groom What are you thinking
OF, dearest: The Bride / was thinking
If your father and mother had never
met or mine had never met or we had
never he1a bora or hadn't loved each
other or or something how dreadful
everything would have been.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
FLORID1 md THE .STNNY

Winter ErcHrSio3t TIckefs H0e on safe
IN He Pennsylvania Raih.0ud
Beginning October 10, the Pennsyl-
vnnia Railroad Company will sell
Winter excursion tickets to the re-
sorts of Florida, the Carolinas, and
other States in the South and South
west, at greatly reduced rates. For
specific rites, limits, aud other CON
ditions of tickets, consult any ticket
agent.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
Divorce In New cuine..

There is no need of divorce courts in
New Guinea. When n woman becomes
weary of her husband she simply
leares him and goes back to her moth
err When Il husband tires of his wife
he simply hits her over the head with
II paddle. and If not killed outright she
Is certainly mnde To realize that she is
no longer wanted. When II divorced"
woman marries again her former hus-
band rallies all his friends and CON
duets Il war dance IN front of her new
home. This ceremony, however is not
as ugly rs 1t looks. Its purpose is not
to Kill anybody. but simply to satisfy
the grass widows honor.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
sweet Affection,

Dear me-" said the proud mother
what nice alfectioul You seem SO
anxious TO kiss your little brother
"Yes'm," replied Tommy, smacking
his lips He has jam ON his cheeks ="
-Pittsburg Press
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
All Tie Same.

The horny handed man calls it pay"
the skillet mechanic wages" the
clerk salary" the banker Income" u
landowner 'rent roll. II lawyer fees,
a burglar "swag' but it all comes to
the same III the cad Of the week
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
Tive ridiculous Part.

'Do YOU see anything ridiculous in
my wig?" said judge to the famous
Irish barriSter, John Curran.
Nothing but the head" flew back
the retort.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
Flu RS
GLOVES
UNDERWEAR

Three articles of wearing apparel which must he right there is
disappointment to the
FURSWe describe with satisfaction, they be
Our object this notice is only remind that avea fur stock
ought If only get posted in what think good fu at
low prices.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
GlOyeSlTamnert'S Gloves.

Look the button of one of your old gloves If it "Iannert
you have had satisfactory service 1t takes time
to build glove trade also takes good gloves We have sold
ann gloves for 10 years. aud that time recall but
pains gloves entirely satisfactory They promptly
replaced with others. Our glove stock at its best now.-Men
Women's and Chillrens.
UNDERNEATH you very particular about your underwear
YOU ought o Union Suits.
FOR Men--woo cotton sl5o, 5000 $250 and 500.
For Women-5Oc 81 90 and $l.50
Fer Chldren--50c and 60c
The soc the trade
"gh Rock If you do not the "g Rock you getting
there for fifty We believe satisfy your
the family in underwear It's pleasure hear saywe
know it's good if we get here
BEAR IN MIND ALL STOCK IL NEW.
LET us SEE YOU AT THE STORE.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16

He had lent her his photographic pen
to direct an envelope
She-Oh, 1t writes beautifully! l de
clare, I'm in love with this pen!
Helm in love with the holder.
She saw the point.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16

NOTE-Unes positions only
For information address p L. LEVAN
Street Bank Building, Trenton, N
Write and address plainly
WANTED-For u Army able bodied unmarried between ages
and United States of good character
who speak, read and English For apply
Officer, Broad and Front Trenton J.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16

Dress we'll Select tailor who can
afford it, Town Topics.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16

Liberty is the power Of doing what
the law permits.-Cicero.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
TAKE NOTICE.!

That the managers of Mount Hope Cemetery
Association are determined to prevent the
stealing or spelling of flowers, vases and
ceptcles for flowers, and the breaking of or
naments, or any spoliation of the grounds
of the cemetery, that have been set aside for
n sacred use; all of which is strictly pro-
hibited.
They will give a reward for the arrest and
conviction of any one guilty of the violation
of the cemetery rules and regulations.
BY order of the
BOARD OF MANAGERS.
Lambertvile N. j., May 10, 1904 If
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
Made Safe.

Coy Is marriage such a perilons
path? JOY Not when there is plenty
of dust ON It, New York Times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16

What nm Inferior man seeks is in eth
crs What superior man seeks is IL
himself BulWcr Lytton.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16

Tie training which makes men hap
piest in themselves also makes them
most serviceable to others --RuSk IA
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1904-11-16
PHILADELPHIA AND
READING RAILWAY
ENGINES BURN HARD C0AL-N0 SMOKE
'.-s..---.........
Time Table in Effect June 26, '04
TRAINS LEAVE NEW HOPE

TRAINS LEAVE NEW HOPE.
For Glenside, Jenkntown and Philadelphia
weekdays, 3, "A, 5l2, 1925 m, $40, 430, o.,
p. m. Sundays, s ~, a. m, 4l6, 4. Is p IN.
Arrive at Philadelphia (Reading TerminaD
{. - SAB, a M, Sc, 4hs 500, IA, p. m week
days. Sundays, S22, a. m, $40, SOL D. m.
TRAINS FOR NEW HOPE.
Leave Philadelphia, Reading Terminal,
weekdays, 1.A, $40 a. m, LAB, Az, 602 lIu2
D. M. sundays "a a. m, 1.4g, 7ig p, M,
Arrive at New Hope $40. II q a. m. 3 3, 3 ID,
7.i3 p. m. l3.42 a. m. weekdays, Sundays, II %
n. m. 3.5l. 8. So p. m.
Close connection at Jenkintown with fast
express trains to and from New York, Balti-
ATLANTIC CITY DIVISION.
Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut street and
South street Ferries
For ATLANTIC CRY 800 a. m 'cl IS a. m
exp ga .,exp. $40 a exp. tlO45 a m exp.
Of p. M. exp y p. m exp. "a p. m. "a 30 p. m
exp IS p. m, lei. tbs. 10 p. m. lei tc540 exp.
FoR OCEAN CITY-'s Is a. M, 1918 a. m, oal
40 p m. td4.20 IS p. m. tc5.50 p. M
For CAPE MAY-ts30 a. m. SAB a. m. 1918
a. m GAL 40 p. m. te4.15 p. m. S5p. m. tc5.40.
SEA lsLE-.s. 40 a. m. oal ~ p. m. ids. 10 p, m.
~ n Daily ll'O- "rsupdays. ~ Weekdays.
"a" South st. i.3o. b" South St 500 .ic"
South st $50. ID" South st. 415. "e" South
st. 400; 20" Saturdays only.
Detailed time tables at ticket offices 18th
nut ST.: COS South Srd. ST., 1862 Market St and
at Stations
Union Transfer Company will call for and
check baggage from hotels and residences.
T. DICE, EDISON ]. WEEKS
denl Supt. Genl Pass Agt.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13

F., get. Then there are the professiona
men, doctors and lawyers. The first
| tell about the rare cases, and of treat
| ing them in the most marvellous way
of aneurisms, where they pack away
yards of silver wire and the patient
looks to-day as if he could lick JEFF
fries! Others tell about the number
of patients they see; there is one old
physician who used to tell a young
doctor without any practice that he
saw seventy and eighty patients a day.
We pity the patients.
Lawyers run to big fees, for they
can not lie about their cases as can
the doctor; and We have in mind one
legal gentleman who must have receiv-
ed millions of dollars during the last
ten years, if one believes what he says.
There is another variety of liar who
always tells about the number of wojn-
en- who are in love with him, and
the almost daily occurrence of anony-
NOUS letters received. These are most
ly actor-men.
OF course, we always have with us
the sick, who magnify every little all
ment-a sore throat into an attack of
diphther:a, a slight cold into pneuno
MIA. We have in mind one lovely wom-
an who has had. to our personal
knowledge, three times pneumonia
and once typhoid fever during the last
year. The psychological study of this
form of lying is, to say the least. in
terestfng. Why does sick person wish
you to think him in danger of death?
Is it a desire to excite greater
amount of sympathy or care?
So we supposeNwe may conclude from
the foregoing that we are all liars,
some telling only pleasant white lies
for the sake of being agreeable, but
the majority vain lies, mean lies, and
useless lies. One of the great French
wits remarked that it was better
usually to tell the truth; a lie should
be kept for great occasions; it is too
good a thing to be wasted. C. T. d.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13

Joe shop
he told his politics
urchln 1t less
Rockford Illinois, il andCo fax
I
Mr. Pratt
away morning
great man.
had living 20
That
gentleman
Nothing me
ratified There a a little
a
hoping Instead buy blue with
M me
to
The Republican called the Tanners after General Grant
When
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13
ARE LIES PERMISSIBLE
Continued from page l.,

| it is the first thing you notice
is: @Oht how horrible thai
pimple looks on your nose" Some
very young men and ld-be-thought
bright young ladies have a habit OF
saying rude truths and think them
smart So much for truth-telling IN
levery-day intercourse.
But let us look at lying from another
point of view. Do we not do a deal of
lying to ourselves? How often do we
commit some petty meanness-say
some unkind thing, and convey the
impression that we are doing it for
the sake of the community, or to pro-
tect the social circle in which we mogs.
when the real reason is that we want
to get even for some wrong, real or
imaginary.
When one woman says to another
that Miss S-or Mrs. B-is a little
gay. and conveys the impression
that she is not altogether what she
ought to be, is she not saying or in
ferrfng the mean thing, because she is
Jealous of Miss SIS or Mrs. BIS
new bonnet or new house, or her
beautiful complexion? She is giving
her conscience a reason for doing a
mean thing.
We heard gentleman get up in
meeting, where he was nominated on
the opposition ticket, and say that he
begged to withdraw his name, as he
had not authorized it's use, and that he
had not joined the association with
any idea of honor or profit, but only
! for. the pleasure of associating with
LOT of good fellows who composed the
society. The real trurn was that his
sole object in becoming a member was
entirely one of profit. But strangest
thing of all is that, when he made the
remark, he probably thought he was
telling the truth. 1t is so easy to
convince ourselves that We are honest
and honora BILE gentlemen. 1t is posi-
tivelv a fact that we lie to ourselves
fully as often as we do to others.
Another remarkable thing about "
ing is that, when We nave told lie
great MANY. times, we actually be-
Iieve it ourselves, until we stop 10
think We knew the case of lady,
wife of a bishop of the Church of Eng
land. who always spoke of the three
beautiful boys" she had lost. She new
or had a child. and this lady was PROD
ably quite truthful about most mat
ters. but she thought she should have
had children. and perhaps con idered
n disgrace that she had had none
THAT was before race suicide" was
fashionable.
We have in mind a very prominent
business man of this city who is an
heroic liar. This kind is very common,
to their wives and sweet
hearts. He is being continually at
tackled by footpads. knocking them
down. drawing his gun (for of course .
this kind of liar always carries gun |
and keeps a private graveyard). 1t is i
hardly necessary to notice the hunter
and fisherman who exaggerate the
nunber of birds and fish they don't
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13
REPUBLICANS AGREE.
CONTINUED from page L,

81 stand ready to carry out every
pafgn. I go a little further. 1 want to
carry into effect every plank in the
platform. L want to go into the legfs-
lature and do my full duty by you vot-
ers"
Other speakers were Representatives
Aylett, Mahelona. Kaleiopu. Kalawaia
and Charles Broad. who spoke in Ha-
waiian.
Representative waterhouse took the
opportunity to thank each and every
one for all the votes they had cast for
him He said he desired to thank not on
ly the Republicans, but Democrats and
Home Rulers. There was an indication
to him also that they had voted the
straight Republican ticket He said he
had met a Democrat on the street few
days before election. The man had
told him he would be on hand at his
CWaterhouse's political funeral. He
said he did not expect to see so many
people present at his funeral as were
massed in front of him then. Gaugh-
ter). There had been some funerals
though, and one was that of ''Independ-
ent'' candidates and their campaigns.
Mr. waterhouse was ready to redeem
all pledges made by him during the
campaign.
The meeting broke up with three
rousing cheers for the Republican
party
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13
LUCK AND LAZINESS.

Luck tapped uron cottage door,
A gentle, quiet tan
And Laziness. who lounged within,
The cat upon his lap,
Stretched out his slippers to the fire
And gave sleepy yawn,
ooh. botheri let him knock again"
He said but Luck was gone
Luck tapped again, more family still
Upon another door,
Where Industry was hard at work
Mending his cottage floor.
The door was opened wide at once;
Come in!'' the worker cried,
And Luck was taken by the hand
And fairly pulled inside.
He still is there-a wondrous guest
From out whose magic hand
Fortune flows fast-but Laziuess
Can never understand
How industry found such friend,
Luck. never came my way"
He signs. and quite forgets the knock
Upon his door that day.
st. Louis Republic.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13

Two marble totems, to mark the
graves of Indian chiefs at Haines.
Alaska, are almost completed at the
Tacoma granite works, The mopu-
ments are to supplant the old wooden
totems, carved by the Indians them
selves. They are made on the same
lines as the former totems. and repre-
sent the ga me tribal superstitions and
legends One is a large bear. sitting
on its launches, but having in place
of a bears head grotesque head with
staring eyes and grInning mouth. The
figure is OF white marble, and the eyes
and mouth are lined with gold leaf
The totem is a. shaft of pure white
marble. surrnounted by marble fish
Of the whale-hller type.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13

place the canteen at his lips he recog-
nizes Col. Rutledge. He gives his last
drop to his enemy and after Col. Rut-
ledge expresses his regret for having
gone back on the Union they become
friends again and the Colonel dies. Con-
federate soldiers then appear and take
Mart and Johnny Howard prisoners.
Act shows the boys on the way to
Andersonville prison. Another scene
is where Fatty Smith is captured by
the Rebs. The terrible prison is shown
by night. Johnny dreams of home and
mother Frank Rutledge has charge
of the prison and avows his intention
of starving Mart to death by slow de-
grees which is to be his revenge. The
prisoners cry for bread. Johnny makes
a. grab for a crust, oversteps the dead
line and is shot by Frank. Later the
prison is captured by Union soldiers.
Harry Howard is in the lead. The
boys get a good look of the 'Old Flag"
and can hardly believe that they are
at last relieved from their terrible
sufferings. Harry learns of and
avenges Johnny's death by shooting
Frank.
The last act finds the boys at home
on furlough. The mother learns of
Johns death and Jennie sings the
famous Vacant Chair"
While at home news comes Of Lee
and Johnson's surrender. The war is
over and there is general rejoicing.
The following is corrected list of
the characters:
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13

Japanese army reserves awaiting
transportation home from this port will
have a sham battle at Waialua today.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13
THE BYSTANDER
Continued from page ~

Inc freak at last cakewalkng before freaks
KIND down IN the black belt Andrews here laughing
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-11-13

IF SO, WHY NOT USE
THE ONLY DOUBLE TRACK
RAILWAY between the Missouri River
and Chicago.
THREE TRAINS DAILY
VIA THE SOUTHERN PACIFIC
UNION PACIFIC AND CHICAGO
& NORTHWESTERN RVS.
Overland Limited. Vestibuled.
Leaves San Francisco at 10 100 a. m
The most Luxurious Train in the World
Electric Lighted Throughout. Buffet
smoking cars with barber and bath
Book1overs Library, Dining Cars, Stand
ard and Compartment Sleeping Cars and
Observation Cars Less than three days
to Chicago without change.
Eastern Express. Vestibuled.
Leaves San Francisco at 600 p. m
Through Standard and Tourist Sleepins
Cars to Chicago. Dining Cars Free
Reclining Chair Cars.
Atlantic Express. Vestibuled.
Leaves San Francisco at 100 a. m
Standard and Tourist Sleepers.
Personally Conducted Excursions
Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays
The best of everything.
r. r. RICHIE,
G. A. p. C. Chicago & Northwestern
Ry., GIT Market Street palace Ho-
tell, San Francisco.
The daily Alaskan., 1904-12-23
INLAND WEATHER

At 8 o'clock this morning, the weather conditions on the Yukon river and along the line of the W. P. X Y, E. were as follows:
 Skagway north wind, l6 above,
 Glacier-Clear, north wind, l above, White Pass-Cloudy, strong north wind, above,
 Fraser-Clear, calm, G below, Log Cabiu-Cloudy, calm, 4 below. Bennett-Cloudy, calm, above. Pennington-Cloudy, light north wind, O.
 Cloudy, north wind, 3 be- low.
 Cowley-Clesr, calm, 8 above. Clear, calm. 10 below, Lower Labarge-Foggy, calm, 5 be- low,
 HOotalinqua-ClOudy, calm, 10 below, Big Salmon-Cloudy, calm, ? below. Yukon CroSSiug-ClOudy, calm, be- low.
 Selkirk-Cloudy, calm, 10 below. Selwyn-Cloudy, calm, 10 below. Stewart-Cloudy, calm, F below. Ogilvie-Clear, calm, r. below. Dawson-Cloudy, calm, f below. Fortymile-C Cloudy, calm, 10 below. [, Tagish-Clear, calm, 20 below.
The daily Alaskan., 1904-12-23
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
ROOSEVELT NOT A SUBSTITUTE

The Juneau Eec9rd-NIiuerr comment ing upon che presidcuts's message, says.
 '.We publish today the text oi the message 0j the president as thr as 10 relates Co the district o' Alaska Taken as a whole, it shows the intense interest manifested in beuNlt oi our great community, and may be denom- mated che First Alaskan Triumph. Thank Goal, the Texas EJugerS are left out.
 In an adjoining column of the same issue Of the paper in which the for going editorial appeared, where the Juneau paper published the text of the message .'as far as it relates Co Alaska. ' among the recommendations for this district appears the following:
 "Tha, a mounted cousyahulary be created Co police the territory outside the limits of incorporated Jowus--a vast section now wholly without police protection
 None are SD blind as those who will not see. nor is any wau so totally de- ceivsd as he who deccives himself. Tories uay dodge and suujrm as they may. ye, l, will remain plain Co the mind which seess Che ,ru;h that there is only one way for the people of Alaska Co escape from government by a strong arm from Washington, and that is by GemauG-u- .E-E1revuwear tu tones tha, will command rhe attention and resusc. 0t -he people ot the American nation. Tn. disuosi-i0uoi,aa Record Miner and others Co depend upon the pres.da1- Co Jo the rtEn, thing is a7- surI. Ea vii. G5 tha best he can from his s,aaEn1.ar. but no mstter the extent of h.s wisdom .r patriotism. he cannot view .lt, district tom an A.askan s,aaGpufu. The people who live in A..sza I2 months tu -ha year and who makr ,he.rGr.lr1t and -ha, O. their families under ... laws Q. the district are -he only people who agH capable of mak.r- ..I administering those laws. l- .aa American principle ot goveruuea. |, s.-h. u1 man ur other nou-res.l. n1w Is capable Q. eNer- c.sfug t-...-...a. authority over Alaska OF aar ..rnr American rerr.- tory. The~E.rs- Alaskan .r.umpa"wtl come when -a., hrgat p~.nc.u.. sha. have been recognized a, applicable Co this .s.r.,.-
 Roosevelt may prove 90 be a great sta,s,wau ba. la Is u1- 90 satisfactory suh,.f-g.. ... -a..-Euveruwau-.