Americus times-recorder., 1904-03-06
THAT BATTLESHIP
STILL ANCHORED.
Pointers Given BY Atlanta
Citizen
TO SHIPS BUILDING.
The knockemoffsky still Anchored
in Dry Dock on Decatur Street
!, Changes Made Relative to Chris
tenine of Warship.

Qaite recently the Times Recorder
called attention to the hot air escape Of
several AtIantans to the end of having
somebody else put up the cash for 9
battleship, to be presented to Japan
by the patriotic AtlaDtese. In a humor.
GUS vein this proposed terror of the
deep was described at length, with the
statement that she was TO be ''AtIanta
built" even to the hot air propeller and
air-shotted guns.
Yesterdays mail brings the following
entertaining epistle from the pen of q
former we'll known Americus man, now
an Albanian, relative to the progress
and prospects of the "Knockemoffsky. >
1t is too bright light to hide under
a bushel and is given in full for the ed
ifcatlon of his friends here.
ATLANTA, GA, March 5th. Americas
Times-Recorder: My attention having
been called to series of articles in re-
cent issues of your paper respecting
the battleship Knockemoffsky," nov
being rushed to completion under th,
active supervision of her designer, Ad
miral Silverstern, I beg leave to cor
rect the misapprehension under which
you appear to have Inadvertently fall
en-, or into which you have been de-
signedly led by Russian emissaries.
The absurdioy of the statement that
the "Kuockemoffsky" had put to sea,
and had subsequently, been wrecked in
collision with Chinese laundry, will
he quickly apparent when you are ad
vised by her diplomatic agent that she
has never yet left her docks on the
Chattahoocbee.
Furthermore, to relieve all anxiety
which the friends of the "Kuockemoff.
sky" may entertalE for her welfare
wish to state that she will remain an
chored to the hills of the Ohattahoo-
chez until she has received her full ar
mament Of hot air and cash-two essen
tials in her construction.
And right here, upon the subject of
contributions, permit me to say that as
grateful as are the Decatur street Isra.
elites for the lavish subscriptions to
the battleship with which they have
baen overwhelmed, we would modestiy
intin ate to the discriminating public
that as the hot air pressure on the tank
of the Knockemoffsky now registers
$40 pounds to the tquare inch as
against cash balance in the bank of
So 40, that the true ratio of wind to
finance In the ships proportions is be-
ing seriously disturbed.
Moreover, If this patriotic but un-
systematic character of donation ia per.
sisted in, grave spprehensions are en-
tertained that when the Knockemoffsky
finally confronts a Russian warship
that natural shifting of her crew from
the quarter deck to the hold will ine-
vitably cause the battIeship to turn
turtle in an automatic effort to main
tain her equilibrium.
Now, therefore, to reduce the balloon
properties of the vessel to the true
ratio, and to make the ships equipolse
independent of the action of the crew,
remittance in cash, or the contribution
of unredeemed rawned articles, or 9th.
er convertible goodp, are indispensa-
bly, requisite.
as the christening of the battleshiE
has inspired lively interest in the
minds of the public, it is as we'll to an
nounce that the original program
which contemplated the agency of Mr.
Cohen( Originally of Americus) as chief
funetionary, has been cancelled, OWNS
to the apprehensions plainly eviden
in the minds of the board that wher
the psychological moment arrived thai
the wine would have disappeared ani
that Cohen would break but an empty
bottle against the sides of the Knock
emoffsky.
In conclusion, would feel that
withheld an item If much interes
did not mention that conical projec
tiles will find no place in the vess ell
lockers-it being contended that thes,
would be but useless commodity afte
q proclamation of peace, wherea
round shot, equally available as mis-
siles, would prove valuable asse
(bunched in threes) as commercis
symbols for such members of the GREY
as would naturally turn their attention
to the money lending branches of com
merce. ABRAHAM GoLDBAUM,
Happv. Healthy Children.