Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-09-22
Conclusion.
BY MAX ADELER.

young man removed the bandage from
his wounded eye. and readjusted his arm
in the sling, what is the nature of the
complaint you have to make against Mr..
Jones?"
why" said the witness, "Ill tell
you. You know that | have been calling
to see Mr.. Jones' daughter, Sally"
Coming early and staying late,'
growled Jones.
well yesterday evening l called as
usual, and as supper was not yet over.
Miss Sally asked me to stay to tea"
HE came early on purpose, your
honor" said Jones. HE knew we were
going to have ham and waffies."
$50 l said | would, and l stayed. After
eating a frugal meal, +"
do you call it frugal, your honor,
when a man eats Is waffles. and is helped
to ham four times; let alone preserves ?
l call it %ruinous." said Jones.
after supper" continued the wit
ness, we went into the parlor, and Miss
Sally turned the gas down low because
she said her father was mad about the
size of the gas bills"
Thirteen dollars last month, your
honor" said Jones, because this chap
stays every night until on toward day.
light"
"And while we were sitting there, with
my chair at O little distance from Miss
Sally's-" HfUe
You couldn't have got the chairs
closer If you'd a tied them to-
gether, your honor" remarked Jones.
Il asked Miss Sally" continued the
witness, IF she had read in a recent
number of a scientific journal that a
conclusion produced by a simple kiss
would cause q gas Jet to flicker? She
said that she had been so busy with her
music lessons that she had not read
about it; but she said she took a deep
interest in science. Then l asked her If
she believed it, and she said 1t was in
credible"
"She seems to be a far-sighted girl"
remarked the magistrate.
81 said" continued the witness, that,
purely in the interests of science, l would
f, demonstrate the fact to her. SoIleaned
over-leaned only my head overland
kissed her gently"
did it ficker?" asked the justice.
81 thought it did, but Miss Sally said
she declared she forgot to notice."
THAT puts her on bread and water for
a week." said Jones, Indignantly.
"Then it seemed to me, somehow"
persisted the witness, that the only way
to repair her ~inadvertent inattention
was to try the experiment again; so
did"
Did she keep her eye on the fame
that timer" inquired the Justice.
Eyes, sir; but she said 1t didn't flicker
half as much as she expected"
"Ill flicker her when l get home!" OBJ
served the paternal Jones.
Then, of course, as the interests OF
/ science seemed likely to suffer unless
the demonstration was complete, |
kissed her again; this time with rather
loud noise. like tearing a piece OF muslin,
you know"
"Was she satisfied with the expert
ment that nme?" asked the magis-
trate.
well, l don't know. She remarked:
How very Interestingly and then She
asked me what the scientific explana-
ton was"
"She did, did she?" yelled Jones.
"Well, I'll get her mother to make a SCI
entiic application of a slipper to her be-
for the day Is out"
NC0 avploipod IN hor that n was thn
conclusion that did 1t; the conclusion
vibrated the air, and the air vibrated the
gas jet, and so on She said she would
have been more interested during the
progress of the experiment If she had
heard of the explanation first; and. Of
course, l offered to repeat it. Then / got
a little closer to her, and"
"And put his arm around her." said
Jones.
"And was just calculating the scien-
tiic principles involved in the beautiful
phenomenon, when"
when l suddenly emerged from the
dining-room with a club" said jones.
Eyes, your honor" said the witness:
"came at me with a club as thick as a
table leg. and interrupted our scientific
inquiries by banging me over the head"
We'll" questioned the judge. idid
you see the gas flicker when the club
struck you?"
81 observed a number of Pickering
lights, but l I'm of the opinion that what
| saw were stars" w $500
"Ah! then your assailant must have
violently attacked your"
"Yes: he succeeded In bruising my
arm, mutilating my eye. and fiercely
kicking me out of the front door"
4 "And I'll do it again." shrieked
Jones.
Zones" said the justice, 81 will have
to hold you in $500 to keep the peace"
Jones gave the bond; the scientific in
v~estigator smiled, and the parties with
drew. Friends of the family regard the
prospect of a consolidation between the
students of science as not very encourag-