Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-05-04
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A man may be perfectly square and
move in the best circles-Philadelph
Record.
He-1f tried to kiss you would
you call for help?-She-Would you
need it?-Smart Set
Mrs. Buye-Have YOU any low even
ing gowns? Salcslady-Low cut or
low price. madam Boston Post
The Debutante-I think she's just as
pretty as she can be. The Wallfower
Most girls are.-Detroit Free Press.
Between the acts: Governess-well,
Marjorie, have YOU done crying? Mar.
jorle-No, l haven't. I'm only resting!
Punch.
Didn't you feel like killing the
waiter when he stood you up for
tip" YES. L felt like giving him
no quarter."-Corncll Widow.
so .Jagsby has nbsconded Another
good man gone wrong" Nonsense.
It's merely bad man who has been
found ut."-Philadelphia Ledger.
Mrs. Wackum How did that
naughty boy of yours hurt himself?
Mrs. Snapper-That good little boy of
yours hit him on the head with a
brick-Tit-B
80 You think your country will be
lost?' II haven't quite made up my
mind,' answered the King Of Corea,
whether it is going to be lost. stray
ed, or stolen. '-Washingt Star.
Ma-oh, how cruel! In India they
whip children with young palm-trees.
Willie-Huh! Don't you spank me
with your palm? And 1t amt such a
young palm, either.-Boston Post.
Marriage" remarked the moralizer.
lis lottery" YES" rejoined the de-
moralizer, but it's one of the games
of chance that clergymen do not try to
discourage. "-Cincinnat Enquirer.
Passenger Why don't you pro-
nounce the names of the stations so
that we can understand them? Brake
man-What do you expect for thirty
dollars month-a college professor?
He-Yes, | remembered you at once
as the girl was engaged to in the
mountains some seasons ago. What
remarkable memory for faces you
have, haven't YOU" MOTOR rings"
Il wonder If he's really of any use
in the world" remarked the girl in
blue. "Oh, yes" replied the practical
girl In gray; he can be used to make
other men ealous."-Chicago Evening
Post.
Are you at all familiar with Plato?"
asked Mrs. Oldcastle. NO that's one
thing Josiah always blames me for.
He says l never make real close
friends with y."-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Kate-Charley and Bessie are very
fond of each other. Bertha-Rathe:
say they are both very fond of Char
ley. 1t is case of two souls with but
Il single thought. you know.-Boston
Transcript.
. Mamma-Why did you take little
brothers candy and eat it up? Why
didn't you ask him If you could have
it? Little Alice-Why, did, mamma.
and he said l couldn't" Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.
Hell suppose ron ho.l that. man
should never deceive his wife? She
Oh, no, wouldn't go as far as that
How would 1t be possible for the aver
age man to get wife If he didn't de-
ceive her?-Boston Transcript.
Detained: Mrs. Smith-We missed
you so much at our party! Mrs. Jones
And was so vexed when couldn't
come! You see, our cook had company
unexpectedly, and she needed us to fill
out the card tables.-Detroit Journal.
Hoping Against Hope: Gayboy (time
1 n. NIL say, old chap, isn't this lit
tie late for you to be out? Aren't you
afraid your wife will miss you? Enpeck
II hope she will, but she can throw
pretty straight for woman.-ChicaSo ?
News.
Mrs. Colls-And when you told him
was married did he seem to be sor-
ry? Frlend-Oh, yes; he snid SO quite
frankly! Mrs. Colls-Did he really?
Friend-Yes, indeed-he said he was
extremely sorry. although he didn't
know the man personally!
mo, thank you," said Miss De Mure.
II don't care to meet any new young
men," MY. exclaimed Miss Gaddie.
You are select all of sudden!" no"
replied Miss De A1ure. glancing dream
| lily at her new ring. I've merely been
| selected all of n sudden
Press.
Another brute: Mrs. Pretty--1sn't it
strange? Mrs. Beauti has not put on
mourning for her husband. Mr.. Pret-
ty--I understand that her late hus-
band particularly requested that she
should not. Mrs. Pretty-The brute! I
suppose he knew how lovely she would
look in it.-Pick-Me-Up.
You ought to have place in grand
OPERA" remarked the sarcastic passen-
ger who was trying to read. "Oh.
don't know" replied the fat par:J
across the aisle, who was giving an
imitation Of song. I've got a pace
in Grand Rapids that's good enough
| for me.-Detroit Journal.
Yes, sir" said the Denver hotel
clerk to the new arrival, that white
capped mountain away off there is in
the Rockies, and it is hundred and
fifty miles from here "Who would
have imagined it was so far?" com.
mented the guest. oh" was the airy
response from the clerk "if the atmos.
phere was only little clearer it would
be three hundred miles away
Judge.