The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-11-27
The Bad Boy and His Dad
Ready fer Their Ocean Trip

Copyright. 1901. by Joseph y. BOwles.)
HE old groeeryman was in front OF
the grocery bent over a box
of rutabagas. turning the de-
cayed sides down TO make the
possible customer think ali was
not as bad as il might be, when a
shrlll whistle down the street attracted
his attention. He looked i'm the direc-
ton from which IL came. and saw the
bad boy coming with u suit case in one
hand and sole leather hat box in the
othei, and the old man went ia the
store 10 say a silent prayer. and TO lay
hatchet and an ak handle where he
could reach them if the worst came.
Well. YOU want to get a good look
at me now" said the bad boy, as he
dropped the valise on the floor and put
the hat box on the counter. FOR IL will
be months. and maybe years, before
you see me again.
oh, joy"' said the old groceryman,
as he heaved a sigh and tried to look
sorry. What is it, reform school, or
have the police ordered you out of
town? 1 have felt it coming for long
time. This is the only town you could
have piled your vocation so long in and
not been pulled. Where are you going
with the dude suit case and the hat
box"
"Oh. dad has got a whole mess more
diseases, and the doctors had q con-
versation over him Sunday, and they
say he has got to so away again, right
now and that a sea voyage viii brace
him up and empty him out so medicine
over in Europe can get in its work and
strengthen him so ne can start back
after awhile and probably die on the
way home. and be buried at sea. Dad
says be viii go. for he had rather ole
L I
have to have any ;ToGble about a fu
neral, cause all they DO is 10 sew a
man mp in j piece Of cloth, tie d sack
OF coal to his feet slide him off a board,
and he goes keTplUnlC down into the
salt water about q mile. and stands
there on his feet and makes the whales
and sharks thipk ne is a new kind Of
fish"
Gee, but this is q programme that
appeals to me as sort of uncanny,"
said The cid man. rs your dad de-
spondcnt over the outlook? What new
disease has he gOt?"
All 0I en-" said the boy, as he took
label Off a tomato can and pasted it
on the END on the suit case. You take
an almanac ana read about all the dis
eases that the medicine advertised in
the almanac cures. and dad has got the
whole lot % them nervous prostration.
rheumatism, liver trouble. stomach
5IsteI. lungs congested. diaphragm
turned over. heart disease. bronchitis,
corlS. buniOns. every Darn thing a man
can eaten without costing him any
tling. But he is not respondent. He
Just thinks IL is an evidence Of genius. |
ard certificate of standing I'm society |
and wealth. lie argues that the poor
people who have only one disease are |
not in il with the statesmen and Schol- |
as Oh ne is all right. He thinks if |
ne goes TO Europe all knocked out he /
VIII class with emperoTS and dukes. Oh. |
since he had that operation and had his |
appendix chopped Out he thinks there 1
Is bond OF sympathy between him |
and King Edward that viii cause him !
to bc invited TO he the guest Of royalty. /
He is just daffy." and the bad. boy took |
2srolio label out a box and pasted it |
on TIE other end of the valise.