The semi-weekly messenger., 1904-08-19

The cat eyed him wistfully and
doubtfully and refused to 60 on record.
| Mr.. Bowser had picked up his paper
and was making an effort to interest
! himself in the war news and the mur-
der cases and had just decided that he
was to be congratulated when a tramp
| same along and leaned on the gate He
had been leaning there for five minutes
/ before he said:
I'm not asking for money to buy
food, as l can eat tbistles and grass,
but IL you could spare me a dime TO
get something for this cough I'd look
upon il as a Christian act''
He thereupon coughed seven con-
sumptive and hollow coughs. They
were coughs made TO order. and Mr..
Bowser knew that they Were, but In
view Of the fact that he was having a
picnic he decided to give the man
quarter. He was reaching for the
money when a sudden wave of loneli-
ness swept over him. Mrs. Bowser was
far away and he would be alone in the
house all night, and he felt that
nickel was enough for any tramp living
mad and struck the steps with his fist
and appealed TO the cat:
WAS it right of that old mother-in-
law Of mine? Why didn't she send for
professional nurse? Why didn't she
die, If die she must, with as little fuss
rs possible? Why send n redhot tele-
gram down here and break up happy
home?"
The tramp increased his hollow and
conSumptiye coughs to eight and en-
tered the yard for a heart to heart
conversation. Mr. Bowser felt that he
had been injured; he was posing as a
martyr; he was looking to take it out
on some one With sudden yell that
lifted the cat of it's feet he dashed
down the steps and seized the tramp
and played baseball with him. He
stood him on his head and rolled him
on the grass and lovingly dallied with
him, and when the man and his fifteen
hollow and consumptive coughs finally
got away there was a rumble Of thun-
der low down in the west.
For a quarter of an hour, or while
Mr.. Bowser was picking the splinterS
off his coat, he was glad that Mrs.
Bowser had gone, but when the dust
had settled down and he thought of
the empty rooms behind and the long
night ahead he groaned in despair and
raised his fist at the cat and shouted:
''You were there when the telegram
came, and-why in thunder did you al
low me to make a fool Of myself? You
knew all the time didn't want her to
CO. and I'm a good mind to knock your
two old eyes into one"'
The cat prudently closed his eyes re-
ferred to and Withdrew from the con-
vention for a time, and Mr.. BOwser
gritted his teeth and trotted his foot
and made up his mind that he would
go and get tight and come home and
smash the furniture. Five minutes
later he changed the programme and
went to bed. 1t was two hours ahead
of time. He had planned for a long
and peaceful snooze.
The snooze didn't come. He had no
sooner got to bed than the noises of the
street became palmer, and he thought
he could hear footsteps in the house.
Even when the city grew quiet he had
Mrs. Bowser and the mother-in-law to
think of, and the clock struck midnight
and he was still awake. At that hour
the cat came upstairs to see If he slept,
and, if so, to pur in his ear and keep
him dreaming, but Mr.. Bowser leaped
out of bed and grabbed for one Of his
shoes and yelled at him:
"You miserable, wall eyed wretch of
perdition, but I'll tie you to the stake
and burn you alive"'
The cat went up no more, but sitting
on the stairs. he took notes during the
rest of the night. At l o'clock Mr..
Bowser was groaning and signing. At
he was blessing the mother-in-law.
At he was walking around his room
and talking about divorce. At 4 he
seemed to be asleep, but was kicking
around a good deal. AT 6 he came
downstairs looking hollow eyed, but de-
termined, and burned some more bacon
and scrambled three eggs. Then he
busted himself packing bag, and at Z
he stood in the door and said to the
wondering cat:
''Fm going after Mrs. Bowser. I'll
be hanged II would put III announcer
night here alone for ten thousand dol
lars Yes, grin. you old sinner, but don't
be too smart! I'm not going because l
miss Mrs. Bowser or want her back,
but If my mother-in-law is dangerously
i'll people will think it curious l don't
go up to see her. I've had the best
time of my life thus far, but Well,
when I come back I'll attend to your
case What you need is to have your
head knocked of a few times"
And then he hurried away to catch
the early train, and the cat sat down
to ponder and think and come to the
conclusion that human nature is
very unreliable quantity.
NJ. QUAD.