The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-07-03

The old man began shooting, and Nc
Gam shot him through the head and
killed him.
He toted the body in and claimed
his reward. The sheriff gave him an
order on the county treasurer for the
$500. As he was going to collect the
money Mccain met another lawyer
say, McGann,' said the other lawyer
was il right for YOU TO kin that man?
Was it in accordance with the ethics
Of the profession for you 10 get him
when he was your client?'
Ethics. thunder shouted Mccain.
I killed him in another case Pitts
burg Gazette.
A lady walked into a. grocer's sbop
one day with her sleeves turned Up to
her elbows and a fighting light in her
eyes This here" she observed with a
slln, as she banged a piece Of yellOwy
substance on the counter. lis the SOAP
what does the washin' of itself the
soap what makes ev'ry washin' day
KIND OF glOrified bean feast: the soap
what sits all the linen as white as snow
ana as sweet as a hazelnut by dinner
time. and lets the happy housewife
spend the rest of the day playin with
Ihechldren. and here am / been scrub
ON three mortal hours with that lump.
ana ain got so much lather out of Il
as 1 could git from a brickbat-" I
beg your pardon" remarked the grocer.
courteously, but it isn't soap. Your lit
tie boy came in here yesterday for half
a pound of both soap and cheese; that's
the cheese
The cheese" gasped the lady. THAT
accounts for the other thing. then"
The other thing?' queried the gro
Ger.
Yes. the other thing" came the re-
ply I was layin' awake half the night
Wonqerln what it was made the Welsh
rabbit we had for supper taste so fun
ny. kansas City Independent
The Rev. I. X. Funk. who has writ
ten a book upon the inexpIicable mar
Neis Of clairvoyarce, was born in Ohio,
IL the town of Clifton. and d Clifton
man said of him recently:
We are very proud here OF the sue
cess Dr. Funk has made in life We
treasure number of stories of his
childhood. II seems that, even as a lit
lie boy, he had an unusual and subtle
mind.
A clergyman put to him one day
number OF questions about Biblical his
tory, and he answered them all very
well Finally the clergyman said:
What commandment. my lad did
Adam break when he ate the apple2'
II you please, sir was the reply
there weren't any commandments at
that time. Baltimore Herald.
Two old fellows in New Hampsbirc
were the sharpest things iii the way of
bargaining Cy PettingiH made brooms
Tor living and Ezra HoSkins kept
store One day Cy came i'm with a load
OF broOms and the dickering began.
" was a man who could see a bar
gain through a six-inch plank on
dark night, and Ezra could hear A dol
lar bill rattle in a bag or feathers a
mile on. Well. they began. and their
conversation was something like this:
Ezra, I want to sell you these
brooms.'
All right, Cy III take them
'Cy said, I don't want anv store
bargains I want cash for them
They talked and gadded a while and
then Ezra said: I tell you what III
DO. Cy. I'll give you half cash and
half trade
''Cy took a fresh chew of tobacco.
pulled straw out of one Of the brooms
and said.
'ThatU be all right. Ezra
Alter he had put the brooms in the
store, Ezra said: Here's Your money.
Cy, now what do you want in trader
"Cy looked around for spell. cooked
ms eye up to the ceiling. stuck his cud
in his cheek, and said:
Well. if il is all the same to YOU.
Ezra III take broOms-' Columbia
Record.