Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1904-04-13
POINTS OF ETIQUETTE
FOR ORDINARY USE.

I EFT US say Mrs. j. widsin receives
an invitation to an evening rscep.
ton. The invitation Is In tho
third person. setting forth thtt Mrs.
sparkins requests the pleasure Of your
company" on such an evening. Mrs.
Wldgln. let us say, cannot 20. The
correct thing, OF course, is for her 10
write and say, Mrs. J. Wldgin regrets
greatly that she will be unable 10 ac-
cept Mrs. Sparkins' kind invitation for
the evening named. Now, that's
enough and the proper form, But new
ertheless Mrs. Widgln spoils It all by
signing her name 10 II. "Mrs. j. Wild
GIN" She has been stupid enough not
to heed that simplest OF all epistolary
mandates. Never sign your name 10 a
note written In the third person.
The letters n. 8. V. p" which are
French for Answer II you please" are
not now generally printed on invita-
items. But all invitations 10 entertain
ments where there will be refreshments
must be answered, This Is because the
hostess will thus know how many she
needs TO provide for In this twentieth
century when every affair Is go elab-
crate and costs so much Particularly
must one answer promptly invitations
TO dinner. either accepting or declining,
II you cannot 60 the prompt decllna-
ton will give your hostess time 10 find
another friend to take your place and
thus avoid the ugly tooth OUT at her
table.
To the hospltable dinner glver MOTH
ing is more annoying than TO find at
the last moment that an Invited guest
has neither arrived nor sent an ex-
cuse. This Is an objectionable breach
Of courtesy. have known a bachelor
host TO be put out greatly because even
on the morning Of a dinner he was to
give In the evening guest found her
self too III TO come, The bachelor host
scurried around durIag the forenoon to
find another 10 MI that dreadful vacant
hole at the table,
1t Is absolutely past understanding
too, the number Of alleged well bred
persons who have offensive little ways
while eating. Yesterday was at din
ner party. | sat next a fair, pretty,
delicate looking woman who dlscoursed
high thought on musical art. likewise
the limners art, and about every third
bite she took that pretty. refined look
Ing woman licked her fingers like dog
licking his paws. Bact, II made me so
uncomfortable | could not enjoy the
dinner at all, Even the low caste
Hindoo turns his back on other people
when he eats that he may not offend
their aesthetic sense. But this woman
who thought she was a lady boldly sat
there and In the face of us all initiated
the table manners OF dog or cat
In general II Is well 10 answer all in
vitations, either accepting or declining
1t shows thoughtfulness ard considera-
ton for the person giving the invita-.
tion. The small courtesies OF life sum
up and make thoroughly polite and
amiable character.
Here is a point In which women are
great sinners. Many OF them will send
a letter asking for information OF in.
tcrest only TO themselves and entirely
for their own benefit and neglect to In
close stamped envelope for reply
Many time the person from whom tn,
information Is sought must spend con.
siderable time getting It and now anc
then spend even small sums OF none,
in the pursuit. but the thankless
thoughtless woman who desires thu
favor puts not even so much as a post
stamp In her letter for reply.
A lady who is an author tells me sh,
has had women write her inclosinf
manuscripts which they wished her II
the first pl1ce to read and orlticlse
next, to get publisher for II no
that, then 20 return the precious docu.
ments. and, so far from inoloslns
stamps for return postage, the recip
lent OF the fat misslve had even to pay
postage due on II because the sender
had not put enough stamps on II In tn,
first place, oh, the cheek OF some wo
men!
another document which the receiver
must testify 10 the truth OF before {
notary. yet not only did this woman
fail to send money TO pay the notary
but even stamps to return the docu
ment. Always inclose stamp,
There are women who, let us hop,
from lack OF knowledge Of business
etiquette, cause their acqualntances Sc
rious loss Of both time and money II
the endeavor TO do them favors.
KATHERINE BLADES.