The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-01-18
TIE NoHPAREJL MAN

a High Midnight Function at chaska,
MIMI, When the Fishing Club TrIpped
the Light Fantastic to the LascIvous
PIeasings of the Star ORCHESTRAL
Write Up In the chaska Review That
Is Causing a Number of Our PromI-
nent Citizens to Breathe Hard and
Reach for Half Bricks as Missiles.
The Chaska Fishing club gave a. ball
last week. for the particulars of which
we are indebted to our frivolous young
and frisky contemporary, the Chaska Re-
view. Mayor Riedele and Joseph Con-
molly were slightly embarrassed in swal-
lowtails and lavender gloves, which latter,
the Review says, should have been turkey
red to harmonize with their compilations.
The dignified Captain Muyers led the
grand march with all the grace of Elisha
Dyer in the Newport cotillion.
Uncle Fred, Doc Gibson, Hook" Heck
lin and Charlie Klein could not be pre-
vailed upon to don the regulation bug
tails, althO they wore button vests
and patent pumps. Consequently they
looked a little out Of place IN checked
sack coats when society was awhirl and
ahum.
The Star orchestra pumped music like
the old hand tub at the Methodist church
consisting of pickles, peanuts, pies and
postum, and the event, all in all, was one
OF the clubs grandest efforts.
! Tom Prouse of the Chaska Review was
excluded from the hail. and Immediately
after writing parts of the above account
slid out of town for ST. Paul to seek the
seclusion which the capital grants. Several
strong men with guns are said to be
awaiting his return, when the air will be
full of Chaska brick and fiery words.
Milwaukee is now out ALTERNATING. and
some smiling city fathers are brushing up
their technicalities. in case it is neces-
sary to carry the cases up.
! Wouldn't It be great to have a burglar
! go thru your mansion and steal a $500
bill? We'd be chesty for weeks!
The revolution in San Domingo is on a
two weeks vacation while the fishing is
good:
With the theater fire in mind about
1900 strong, masculine sinners refused to
go tc church yesterday because there
were not enough exits. Yet the church
is supposed by some misguided ones to
be a sort Of fire escape.
Puzzle picture dispatch from Colombia
General Uribe-Uribe may take the field
against the U. S." Puzzle, find the field.
Boston has come to the front with q
newspaper excitement over two kinds OF
Washington pie, Booker and George
George has white frosting and Booker
chocolate. The White House cook will
not, however, fall into this astronomical
trap.
Either of those two great friends OF
labor, Parker or Hearst, would suit u.s.
A Chicago paper wants to know how a
revolving door would act in panic rush
out of big building. 1t would grab the
first fat bank president that tried to get
thru and hold him fast by the leg.
Tee Hooi, emperor Of Korea, ought to
get his spark arrester adjusted.
Thirteen new teeth at the age Of q
! years is the unusual experience OF Mrs
Caroline Sickhel Of 719 Enterprise alley
McKeesport, Pa. The discovery that she
was cutting a new set Of teeth was made
by her granddaughter, little Annie Eilart
Mrs. Sickfel had been complaining of 4
. soreness in her mouth for several days
and little Annie, looking into grandma
fine, open countenance, discovered thirteen
little pearly teeth like grains Of rice Fol
. almost twenty years Mrs. Sickhel has beer
, store teeth. Grandma Sickael de-
clares that she can sympathize with tn,
babies when they cut their first teeth
Having this nice fresh start at the ag
, of 70, grandma ought to be able to bit
g off a good section of this glorious younl
:. century. So ..-s=~.- .--.-.. g..
: Doc Bixby. who is revisiting the scene
of his youth in Minnesota, stopped a
f. Sioux City on his way and met two oil,
= friends of his boyhood, both, says tn
; doctor, very drunk, indeed, with hade
> Of all kinds staring them in the face an,
9 death just around the corner Of the block
- Whereat Doc marvels and philosophers IL
: his column in the Lincoln Journal VIII,
- IS it that the weaker a man is the strong
: er the drink that he demands? We Civ
it up.
g The London Lancet says it is not tn
= nicotine in tobacco that hurts you, bu
- the poisonous gas called carbon monoxid
- in the smoke. One ounce Of tobacco give
&C no less than one-ffth Of a pint Of pur
l. carbon nonoxide gas when smoked in tn
- form of cigarettes. The last dude VIII
. smoked one in the office may have throw
out fifth Of a pint, but we would hav
sworn that it was a whole gas main full
"A. J. r.