The Indianapolis journal., 1904-05-15
A Study Of Daughters and Wives

we'll for girls to remember that all inter-
est does not die out OF life at the age Of
twenty-five
HER MERCENARY SPIRIT
Looking at these girls of the day, one
thinks of their future with some misgiving.
Many of them are to become wives and
mothers-and what kind of wives and
mothers will they make? Excellent wives,
no doubt, in the days of prosperity, but
darker hours are certain to follow, and the
virtues then required will be those of pa
tience, endurance, self-sacrifice. The mod
ern girl is far more worldly than her
mother was in her maiden days. She
scouts the idea of love In a cottage; she
wants good house, a good income, and,
above all, plenty OF amusement. II is the
love of luxury and amusement that seems
TO be gaining ground among us, and il is
not a development which promises we'll for
the empire. The wife who looks on her
husband as a mere provider of clothes and
meals is not likely TO prove helpmeet in
the day of trouble. When we note the in
crease of cases in which husband and wife
separate from each other we wonder wheth-
er that terrible 'incompatibility" of temper
might not have been overcome IL the wife
had possessed the characteristics of an
earlier time. Had she shown herself un-
selfish. tolerant, patient with his faults,
capable of putting up with small vexa-
tions, perhaps the quarrels would never
have been begun, and the rift would not
have widened TO the destruction of home.
But think of the young wife's training as
a girl, and then ask yourself how she could
have attained the qualities which would
have preserved her happiness. What has
she learned?
Well. first of all, she has learned that
her own advancement is the chief thing
that she must strike for; that her tastes and
capacities must, of all things. never go to
the wall; that it is her duty not to yield a
hairs breadth when it is matter of ind-
vidual opinion. She has always understood
that one had duty to oneself, but she ex-
poets her husband to sacrifice his inclina-
tions and ideas TO hers. She wants him to
wait upon her, to work for her. to admire
her 10 the end of time, and she cannot in the
least understand that busy man cannot
give all his thought and attention to her as
he did in the days of their engagement. Her
vanity is offended. and she begins to fret
and sulk. The husband is impatient with a
wife who cries and grumbles when he comes
home at night; and therefore his temper
soon matches her own. and domestic strife
becomes the order of the day. Happiness
has flown out of the window; and whose
the fault?
If the wife is also a mother matters are
worse. The children learn only too early
what discord and dissension mean: and the
years of their childhood: which ought to be
so beautiful are filled with memories of dis
peacel
1t is well for a man. said the greatest
of sages, that he should bear the yoke in
his youth. Well for woman, also. Not
a yoke Of tyranny or enforced serv:tude,
but the yoke of obedience. humility. faith
If girl reverence her parents, she will
respect her husband and train up her chill
dren to the same law of subordination.
For We cannot all be equals; must be
subordinate one to another, and there is
nothing humiliating 10 properly trained
mind TO feel that We are filling our proper
place in the world-some intermediate
space. most likely. neither too low nor too
high After all, the old lessons are the
best. The young should give all Difference
to the aged. and the aged should show
consideration for the aggressiveness and
"cocksureness'' OF the young These be
trite sayings: but there is good reason in
them all.
And so l come back 10 my earlier eonten-
tion-that the modern girl should culti-
vate the power of sympathy If she wishes
TO resemble those great and wise and
lovable women who have swayed the men
who rule the world. And quite half of
sympathy consists in imagination-in be-
ing able TO put oneself into anothers place
1t is only where girl can do this that she
will fill her proper place in the world and
after she has been a good daughter be-
come-if fate pernit-a perfect wife,
Copyright, lsol)