The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-12-17

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Il Pa, what do they mean nv tha
death rateP THAT, my son, is the
speed at which an automobile travels, y
cleveland Leader. i
Van Tart don't think much OF
leap year. lie Whey-W the mat
teri Van Tart-The girls propose to
you but expect you to buy the ring.
The button trust Is bankrupt. The
button Ia a small article, but It has
destroyed the peace of many a home,
and 1t is only ripping as it has been
seWed-Baltimore American.
John" said a stingy old hunk to his
hired man, as he was taking dinner,
do you know how many pancakes
have eaten fourteen" ''Well," said
John, "you count and I'll eat"
But have you any expectations,
young. manT "Of course, 1 have.
Three rich girls want to marry me,
but I am going to give your girl the
first chance."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
II just wisht wuz bigger" said
Mischievous Willie Smart. "Indeed?"
asked his mother. How much big
ger" oh, just big enough to do all
the things git blamed for dom now"
Freda-He claims to be related to
you, and says he can prove it. Floyd
Related to me? Why, the mans
fool. Freda-Of course; but that may
be mere Observation-Disclosures
Bits.
Jack-Women have no head for flg-
ures. Tom-How do you make that
out? Jack-I know a girl whose edu-
cation cost her father ten thousand.
and she can't figure her own age cor
rectly.
Jury" said a Western Judge, you
kin 60 out and find a verdict. If you
can't find one of your own, get the
One the last jury used" The jury re-
turned a verdict Of suicide in the ninth
degree.
"Halloav cried the neighbor. "What
are you building q new chicken house
forT why" replied Nettles. "for a
flock Of pink elephants, of course
You didn't suppose I'd put chickens In
it. did your
Red-And when this happened or
the links, was he addressing the ball
Greenwich, don't know just wha
he was addressing, but it was quite
evident from the language that he wa'
not addressing a Sunday school.
Meeks-Why don't you try DR.
Quackem's elixir Of life2 A friend o
mine who took bottle Of 1t praises i
to the skies. Weeks-Yes, and frien'
Of mine who took three bottles Of tn
stuff is now up there somewhere.-Chi
cago News.
: A precocious youth telegraphed t
> his parents on their golden weddtn
day: as marriage a failure" TIL
old couple laid their heads togethe
over the reply-paid form, and present
" made answer: "No; but its result
sometimes are"
II never knew till now why tn
was such a windy country" said til
: bright little girl travelling through III
nois, "And have you discovered why
asked her father. "Of course. See a
the windmills on these farms wei
= passing Philadelph Ledger.
"Darringer, have you a half-so7
ereign you don't want2' "Why, ce
Q tainly, Here It Is" The next day
ST say, Darringer, that half-sovereig
you gave me was a bad one" I'VE
0 Bromley. You asked me If had
< haIf-sovereign that I didn't want"
70 "Why do the roses fade slow
away2" she inquired poeticall
"Well," replied the baldheaded your
man, when you think 1t over Its
, for tbe best, It's more comfortable
have them fade slowly away than
20 of all Of a sudden, like torpedo
"Thats my last canvas" sa
II D'Auber; 81 started that six montl
, ago. You see, some days l pal
away feverishly, forcefully, absorbe
l. w. while on other days l can't paint
u ali" 81 see," said Crittick; "y'
;, painted this on one Of the other days
4 philadelphia Press.
It IF Crabbe ever comes around 20
h place borrowing anything" said Su
or bubs. don't let him have II" you
d spoken too late" replied NeWcome
le "he was around this morning" you
- easy. What was he borrowing
= ''Trouble. He's in the hospital no"
a Philadelphia Ledger.
q As my wife at the window one bea
y +ful day stood watching a man WI
To- a monkey a cart came along with
broth of a boy, who was driving
q. atout little donkey. To my wife tn
=. / spoke by way of joke-''There' $
= alton of yours in that carriage
"a ~ which she replied, when the donk
70 she spied-"Ah, yes! a relation
e. marriage"
Ii" The minister sought to improve
a time by giving Bobby a lesson
10 ia morality. my boy" he SAID i na