The Grit-advocate., 1904-09-09
Joshua's Appendicitis.

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born with pain. Sometimes it was
in his stomach and sometimes it was
in his Imagination, but it was ubiq-
uitous.
Joshua was not one that suffered in
silence, but was a devout apostle of
the philosophy of King Crony in a
paroXysm of gout-"Nature knows
best and she says, 'roar'"
Land a-goshen, joshua complain
ed his long enduring wife, yell be
havin that there appendicitis in yer
mind some day, and the doctor won't
be able t do a thing fur ye. cause he
CANT operate on yer imagination and
when ye git dead sot on it, nOthin
but an operationll ever git We over
it,"
"You wimmen folks talk too much"
snarled Joshua hotly, but | s'pose ye
wouldn't be happy if ye didn't jam
about so much wind er missed
revolution occasionally. When I'm
sick, I'm sick, amt |? Ye doant
s'pose I'm sick cuz l enjoy it, do ye?"
That was the beginning.
"A man gifts mighty little sympathy
p. N. two days later, when a sharp
pain attacked him in the left side
about three inches below and Slightly
back of his lower vest pocket.
Deliberately at first, then with ac-
celerated rapidity. the truth rushed
upon him. He had Appendicitis!
GO fer tn doctor, Mirandy! Go
time sure Eff should die" moaning.
"afore ye git back. they's $40 hid in
the granary that ye didn't know about,
an" holding his hand clasped close
ly over the pain. my Wills made out
and down t. Pikeville in tn Office o
Squire DigSem-
But go! Co." as Mirandy her
nrms akimbo. stood immovable in an
attitude Of gathering defiance.
Joshua Fumbleberry, ye amt got
no more appendicitis than | hev, an
l amt goin' t make no dark ride O
eight miles through mud and water
to git ye doctor when ye don't need
wife ter ye and allus cared fer ye
when ye wuz sick. but I'm through
chasin' pill peddlers t fix up yer i'm
agination, SC there!"
$50 there" was accompanied by 4
determined stamp OF the foot ard
Joshua knew the u!timatum was final
but his blood and his Imagination
~ III L-'t I,
pendicitis and wasn't he at that very
moment man marked for the cold
and clammy silence Of the grave?
"Mirandy Fumblebcrry," Joshua
spoke intensely, "ef You don't git tn
doctor fer nc. atorc midnight I'll die
-er III git a divorce, an, an don't
keer which,"
Take yer choice. Joshua" retorted
the wife stolidly. Take yer choice!"
"TheE-I'll-go-my fer the doc
tor" he sobbed, jumping from the
sofa and shufling into his overcoat.
Eff die ye'll be satisfied, but amt
goin' t die without a chance ter keep
ye from spendin' my money yet
awhile! Oh, Lord, On. Lord! gimme
strength" he bcsccched as he feebly
passed out in.o the Joorysrd towar>
the barn.
An hour later Doctor Phil Graves
Of Pixies Corners was aroused from
his II O'Clock snoozc by a loud rap
ping.
Come on out t our house quick
Doc" shouted Fumbleberry through
the closed door. "I'ii order yer hosses
hltched as I go past tn livery stable
They amt no time t lose!"
Whose sick qneried Doctor
Graves. in the weird light at the top
Of the stair case-but all he heard as
feet clattered down the steps was:
"Out to Fumbleberry's. eight miles
uorth!" and the rumbling of wheels
as the caller hurried away in the
darkness.
Muttering fervent anathemas upon
1is i'll luck, Doctor Graves shuffled
out of his pajamas and prepared Il
nasty toilet for a cold and cherries
rids over black and soggy roads.
despatched and benumbed, he
reached the Fumbleberry home just
rs the kitchen clock struck the halt
hour after midnight.
Who's sick?" he queried, entering
the house and handing his coz to
Mrs. Fumbleberry. Il thought it must
be you. Got some company?"