The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-27

Of the serpent. combined with good deal
Of the harnlessness Of the dove. checked
myself in time, and thereby avoided one
Of the big mistakes that wives frequently
make"
looked my conndante straight in the
hung her head.
1T Is not either good form or good
policy to complain to your husband of
the way his family treat you. When you
have a situation Of this sort to meet,
keep a stiff upper lip and silence and
look about az I did to sec as nearly and
as clearly as possible just where the
trouble lies.
Fixing Tho Blame.
IT was not very long In sitting on my
private committee Of investigation before
was aware that some Of the blame for
the strained relations between myself and
my husbands family was resting on my
shoulders. The wrongs rarely. you
know, all on one side.
II had never stopped to realize how
much had hurt the family pride when
laughed at some Of the ancestors por-
traits and failed to give my mother-in-
law precedence in and out Of the dining
room, and addressed my husbands elderly
maiden relative as Jane, instead Of
Cousin Jane and annoyed my nervous
sister-in-law inexpressibly by bringing my
pet OOSS TO the IaDl0 WIN me, aIlu
laughed at the Anticipated bonnet OF q
highly venerated neighbor. and In one
way and another had taken liberties and
/, assailed traditions and hurt sensitive feel
ings when I should have shown the ut
most consideration and sweet thought
fulness.
"That is where I find so many individ-
uals. who are called upon to deal with
the vexed question Of their relatives by
marriage. remiss and narrow minded in
their view of the situation I should like
to take all newly made wives aside and
whisper low in their ears that the secret
! Of success when making the acquaintance
Of their husbands family is to display
toward every member thereof the most
distinguished courtesy
Conquests Of a Household.
TT is only fair to concede that a bride
new relatives. with rare and beautiful
exceptions, regard her from a critical
| standpoint, and are much more eagerly
on the lookout to Identify her failings
than her virtues. They are not apt to
think that she is wholly worthy Of the
nice man whom she has married, and
they have an ugly little way of magnify
ing her little mistakes into deliberately
offered insults, when she may really be
| unconscious Of having made them.
But there Is no American household,
in which have ever been, that Is proof
against the sons wife, who, stranger tho
she may be, seriously and secretly under
takes it's conquest by dint of sheer cour-
tesy. Her courtesy is shown by
else Of the most gracious consideration
when she visits her husbands people, or
when they visit her, and her discretion
is first made evident by carefully dis
covering, by previous cross-questioning of
her husband, just what some Of the lead
| ing family prejudices and habits are.
There was a bride have known who
assumed the liberties in her mother-in-
| laws house that she enjoyed in her own
| home, and thereby brought down bitter
criticism on her thoughtless head. She
/ demanded breakfast in bed, shirked the
| church going, gave orders to the SER
wants, and otherwise presumed. She was
SO lacking in tact as to bounce into her
| seat at table before the blessing was asked
upon the meal whereas, with little
| keenness of observation she could have
caused the wind Of popularity to blow all
her own way. Now, when you are visiting
| your relations-in-law, be sure to do as
| they do. You are not so much their rela-
tive as their guest, and, no matter II they
rise at dawn and go to bed with the fowls,
you should temporarily adopt their GUS
toms with a willing grace.
| BE punctual to the moment; make as
| few demands as possible; offer no advice
| or criticism, and listen to any that may
| be offered you with all smiling attention
You are not obliged to act upon it, but
you can always receive it with an ali