The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-28
HUSBAND KNOWS II ALL.
HE CAN CLEAN HOUSE. MOVE
AND COOK
When He Uses Tack 1t Must Be
Perfect and the Hammer Above Re-
proach-His Wife Finally Puts Him

The redoubtable Susan Clegg says:
$50 fairs my observations 'xtended,
man always gives his wife to under
stand that what'd be bother or
mebbe impossible for him to doll be
JUS a pleasant afternoon for her."
There is a good deal in that. Take,
for instance, housekeeping or moving.
A man always has a deep conviction
that awhile housekeeping at any stage
of the game is waste of time and eff
fort, he could do it much better than
his wife. Watch him hang pictures
or drive nail. He gives his better
half a look of scorn if she pounds her
finger and proceeds to get upon the
stepladder himself. But when he finds
that he does not make a great success
of the hanging of the pictures, he cam
not understand why his wife should
not find it highly enjoyable. Many a
wife has firmly refused to move with
out an understanding beforehand that
her husband should spend that day as
usual at his office. He means well,
but he wants the moving done accord
ing to his ideas; his wife wants it
done according to hers and the NOV
ing man generally does it to suit him
self. The best thing for men to do is
to Aet their wives run everything per-
tanning to the house.
If a man wants to put in tack he
first wishes to examine the tack to see
that it is perfect; if it leans the one
hundredth part of an inch to one side
it must be thrown away. Then he
wants tack hammer, and this too
must be in perfect order; if the handle
is loose-well- would best stand
from under What is that hammer
a N this hO11ca2 WhprQ11r1Or his
wife hands him an old hair brush with
wooden back, which she says she al
ways uses. If a look could kill she
should fall dead before him. Hammer
with "a hair brush. How like wom-
an, Then his wife sends over next
amines that carefully and decides it is
better than nothing. This sort of
thing goes on until some fine day his
wife will come to the end of her stock
of patience. She turns John out of
the house and tells him not to appear
until midnight! Of all the fussy,
cross, contrary, disagreeable men she
ever saw, he takes the lead! The
meek way that John goes down town
would open your eyes. For it is the
clustering, fussy, know-it-ali men
who are soonest cowed when their
wives really take matters into their
own hands. These are the men who
are Always telling row their motnerS
cooked thus and-so; not only that,
but they could cook thus and-so
themselves. Easiest thing in the
world, cooking. All you have to do is
to put little of this in, a taste of
that, put it on the stove-or inside,
he's. not sure which-and let it cook!
If his wife is clever she will invite him
into the kitchen and allow him to cook
it, When he begins we will draw the
veil: to describe it would make pain
full reading. Suffice it to say that she
never hears anything more about
cooking so-and-so. But of course it
ought to be very easy for a woman,
Why mother used to-but here wife
shows signs of again taking the floor
and John subsidies and talks about the
crops.
OF course you must know how
to take man. Once in a while it pays
to be firm, nay, even disagreeable.
Burst out crying when he is particu-
Iarly trying, nothing snakes man
more uncomfortable, or puts him more
thoroughly in the wrong. You must
be pretty bad to make a woman cry,
he will say to himself. Wipe your
eyes with a sort of martyred look as if
you were saying to yourself. well,
married him, so I suppose Eve got to
stand him" John will be an angel
for month.