Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1904-03-11
c Q Q .
Short Storiss


The late Thomas B. Reeds portrait
was painted by Sargent during the
last year of his services In Congress
When 1t was brought TO him he looked
at 1t critically. He noted the protrud-
Ing lips, the faithful reproduction of
his ford complexion, of his tiabby
cheeks, of his ponderous neck. His
eye narrowed between the lids, and
there came a cold CLINT in them. Then
pursuing his lips as was his wont, he
Is said to have remarked: Il hope that
my dearest enemy Is satisfied now
A Yorkshire socialist, who was once
explaining to friend the principles
of socialism, remarked that all posses
sions should be shared equally. IF
you had two horses" said the friend,
would you give me onef" "Of course, .
replied the socialist And II you had
two cows, would you do the same"
"Of course | should We'll, suppos-
ing, now" said the friend, slowly. you
had two pigs, would you give me one
of them Eli tha's gettin over near
home" said the other shyly; ''tha
knows I've got two pigs"
In his new volume OF racy reminis-
cences odds and Ends DR. Francis
Pijou, dean of Bristol, says that he has
on many occasions been pestered by
eranks who even thrust themselves on
him In church at the solemn hour of
service For example, man once
bothered him by urging, In season and
out of season, the merits OF new
sauce which he had invented. But the
dean proved an unwilling nearer, and
at last one Sunday evening, as the con-
gregatlon was singing the hymn Inn
mediately before the sermon and the
dean had reached the pulpit steps and
had begun to mount them, this I'M
abashed parishioner suddenly appeared
at the steps and, thrusting forward a
bottle of his ''inimitable sauce ex-
claimed: Take 1t; you will find 1t ex-
cellent for the voice"
Mark Twains story of the Million
pound note which nobody would cash
found parallel on an almost infinitesl-
scale In Kentucky, the other day. A
Union veteran named Gibson, who had
for years drawn a small pension, con-
Guided some ten years ago that he was
not getting his full deserts, and applied
for an increase. In course of time,
says the New York Evening Post, this
was granted, and the first payment of
S207 fell due. OF this, as might be ex-
pected, an even 81 went to the pen
check which Gibson received was for
q paltry seven cents. The amount was
so absurd that he declared he would
never cash 1t, and the slip of paper re-
manned In his hands for eight years
as a souvenir. At length. between
broke" with sick wife on his hands
who demanded apples, and would be
satisfied with nothing else. Orchards
from which he could purloin some We're
too far away, and with inward misgiv-
ings the veteran hunted up his pension
check from Its hiding place. and went
forth into the marts of trade. The
first grocer to whom he went was APP
prehensive lest the check should be
outlawed. and declined to take 1t,
while the second, better-informed
man, laughed aloud at the idea of Civ
ing seven cents worth of apples on a
check on the United States treasury
which 1t would cost fifteen cents mere
ly to collect through a bank. Gibson
went empty-handed from store to store
until he found a grocer who was a bit
of an antiquarian and was willing to
take the check as a curiosity. So Mrs.
Gibson had her apples.