The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1904-05-12

AND GAY
Little Bits That Show the Varying
Phases of Human Mature.

i an old deacon a ctifed-lGokiilg
/ old fellow who lived in country
town and occasionally visited the city
..on business" was found 'bucl1ing
the tiger III ST. Louis gambling
house With an energy of purpose that
was admirable. IS What, exclaimed
| the young man who found him, start
ling backward, deacon, is it possible
you are here?" oh yes, cal1ily re-
joined the Old sinner: Il am bound to
break up this evil institution
A frightened boy named Dodd.
charged with some dire scholastic Of
tense, was once brought before Or.
Vaughan, for many years nend master
at Harrow. What is your nance
asked the master. with due severity.
"DcdG SIR answered the trembling
boy -'Dodd! DO YOU spell it with, one
Id or with two?' NO, sir, three. an
svered the boy. The Doctor let him
off with warning, and acknowledged
that he had never before received SO
| good lesson in spelling.
Congressman John Sharp Williams
tells Of q man ia mississippi who is i
Ihypochondrfac of the first order. This
man was one day telling n friend OF
his efforts to regain his old time
health He ran over the list of doc
tors whom he had OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
on the friend remarked: We'll, old
man, i must say that you appear 10
have lots Of faith in doctors Ger
tafniy 1 have replied the sick man.
I"Don't you thinks the doctors would
| be foolish to let q good customer like
me de-
An Oregon newspaper man in Wash
ington is telling q good story about
Dr.. Hale. He says he was once trav-
cling in the back country OF Oregon,
and, going TO little inn for lodging,
he was surprised to see large pic
| ture of DR.. Hale on the wall. The
woman Of the house explained IT thus:
We'll. you see, a good many strangers
come here and want me to keep EN-,
and ! don't know anything about EN-,
| but if they know Edward Everett
Hale's picture know they're good for
| something, and let 'em stay
This happened in Scotland: Tie
last edition OF the newspapers. with
the result of the great Perth walk.
had been sold out and the boys We're
calculating their takings. "Hullo, .
said Jimmy in alarm, I'm apenny
short!" We'll what's the use 'arpin'
about it?' growled Dick, as he calmly
cracked a nut. You don't think
took it, do you?" mo, I don't say
| you ave- said Jimmy: 81 don't say
! you ave. But there it is. I'm a
| 'apenny short, and you're a-eatin' nuts
yer know"
| Judge E. H. Gray, chairman of the
executive committee of the Steel
| Trust, has a favorite story OF bright
| S-year-o1d boy, clergyman's son.
Judge Gary was dining with the fam
lily once, and during dinner said to
the boy: Look here. Joe, I have a
question to ask you about your faith
err" The boy looked gravely at him.
"A1l right; I'll answer your question, "
he said. WELL" said the Judge, Il
want to know II your father doesn't
preach the same sermon twice some
times Eyes, think he does. said
Joe,5 but the second time he always
hollers in different places from what
he did the first time
Tolstoi told Isabel Hapsood, who
has translated many of his books, a
good story OF one of his ancestors
an army officer, who was an excellent
mimic One day he was imperson-
atins tie Emperor Paul to group of
his friends, when Paul himself enter
ed, and for some moments looked on
| unperceived at the antics Of the young
man Tolstoi finally turned, and. be-
holding the Emperor, bowed his head
and was silent. go on, sir, said
Paul; continue the performances,
The young man hesitated moment,
and then, folding his arms and inita-
ting every gesture and intonation OF
the sovereign. he. said: '.To1stoi. you
deserve to be degraded. but remen-
Der the thoughtlessnes of youth and
you are pardcned.' The Car smiled
slightly at this speech. We'll be it
So" he said.-Collected by San Fran
cisco Argonant.