The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-10
WORLD

he was shaver and shorn and fine
as his tailor could make him, and who
[ was bending every energy to please
! her? What can a man know Of a
woman whom he has never seen eX-
cept when she had on her best COM
/ pany clothes and manners-when her
beauty WAS enhanced by the most
{ becoming raiment that money could
/ buy. and she was striving 70 win his
| admiration by all the arts and wiles
( known 10 her sex? Under such cir
! cumstances neither disclose their real
| characters. Lovers have an idea that
! they probe deep into their inner nature
| when they ask each other, are you
| really truly, unalterably sure you
| never loved before, and that you win
never, never love again but that is
| 10 more an investigation into mans
generosity or a Womaus temper than
a candy heart is ike the muscular
| organ that keeps life going. very
| honest man sometimes makes an anti
nuptial confession Of his past to
| woman ne is going TO marry, but he
never confdes to her that he is in
| clined to be stingy, or a conscientious
woman may feel 1t her duty TO tell her
fiance about a previous Irritation, but
she carefully conceals from him that
she has a tongue that can raise a
blister, and that she is given to nag
ging. These are the joyous revela-
lions Of matrimony that make mar
ried life a perpetual surprise party.
Roughly speaking. the virtues of a
good husband are sympathy, consid-
GRAFTON, tenderness, and generosity,
while the qualifications that make a
woman a desirable wife are an amiable
disposition, a faithful and loving heart
a soft tongue, and a skilled hand.
1t looks like it ought TO be easy en-
ough for each man in search of
a wife and every woman desiring a
husband TO find out if their intended
possesses these qualities, yet ii is
practically impossible to do so.
Take the case of man for instance.
How is a girl to judge if he will make
her a tender, considerable and loving
husband, who will forgive her faults,
pity lfer when she is racked with
nerves, and bear with her during all
the times of mental and physical am
guish that comes to woman, and that
makes her a torment to herself and to
those about her? Not by his conduct
as lover. for every lover tells his
lady love that she is perfect. Not by
his popularity with men, for the good
fellow man is generally the worst of
husbands, the JOY of the street and
the sorrow Of the home" as the old
French proverb pithily puts it. Nor
has she anyway to tell whether he will
be niggardly or generous to her about
money. She cannot argue that he will
be a liberal husband from the gifts
that he made her before marriage. for
many n man who lavishes expensive
presents upon his sweetheart stints his
wife in street car fare, nor can she be
guided by the reputation he may have
for generosity among men. for many
man who spends with both hands when
he is down town, is so close-fisted at
home that his wife has TO pry every
nickel out of him with a crow-bar.
The old axiom that good son makes
n good husband is also a faHacy, for
chief among feminine martyrs are the
women who have married devoted
sons. and who have not only had to
take a second place in their husbands
affections but have had their hus-
band s-mother's perfection, and her
ways, and her pies thrown up to them
as long as they live. On the other
hand there is many a man who has
been a careless and indifferent son, but
whose whole emotional nature seems to
be awakened by the fact that woman
is his wife, and who shows her a ten
derness and devotion that no other
woman has ever called forth.
Men arc equally helpless when they
seek for tips about how to choose a
wife. When they are on the anxious
seat all girls are so amiable, and sweet
and anxious to please that 1t really
seems a choice among angels. After
marriage-but that is another story.
A man can't judge of a girls dispo-
sition by what her family say of her
for they want to marry her off and are
not going to give her faults away. He
can't go by what her girl friends say,
for no girl is booming another girls
stocks in a depressed matrimonial mar
ket. He can't even figure out from her
angels food whether she IL domestic or
not, for the cook may be responsible
for the crime and things may not be as
hopeless as they seem.
II isn't safe for him to marry poor
girl because he argues she has been
raised to be economical and will know
how TO be thrifty for the chances are
that never having had any money to
spend before. she will rush into riot
Gus extravaganza, and keep his nose
to the grindstone. Nor can he be cer-
tain he is wise in passing up the Eighty
girl for she is trick of turning sem
sible as soon as she is married. and
making the most industrious and prac-
tical of wives.
So there we are when all is said. still
facing our unsolved conundum-the
man or woman who is to be our hus-
band or wife. and whose real self we
have no means of gauging. Undoubt-
edly IL people could know each other
before marriage as well as they do aft
erwards, it would make for matrimo-
NAL happiness--if 1t didn't break up
matrimony altogether.