Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1904-11-08
S / D e l. / G III T S

said: Would you mind telling me what
that strap under your chin Is for?"
That answered the attendant
YEARLY, is to rest my jaw when get
tired answering questions
Col. Henry Watterson, Of Kentucky,
during his recent visit to New York,
says the New York Times, told story
OF an old darkey down south who was
informed that whisky was an infallible
cure for snakebite. His informant
told him that If he was bitten by a
snake and drank a quart of whisky the
snake would die and he would go UNI
scathed.
Oars only one trouble bout dat
cure" the old man said, II knows whar
dere's plenty of snakes but whar's
gwine to git de whisky?"
Here is an old story about Admiral
Stephen B. Luce. AS young man he
was highly popular among the gay set,
surrounding the naval station at New /
port. On the same ship as himself
was a rather grim and severe senior
officer, who did not approve of social
designations in the service. and was onI
the constant lookout for any derelic-
ton on the part of the youngsters.
One evening after a round Of pleasures
Luce came back to the ship to find this
martinez on the deck as he stepped off
the gangway The elder man lookedd
the young man over with an eye OIL
disapprobation, and remarked sharply:d
Mr.. Luce, you're tight"
Pardon me-" was the quick retort,j
IF Stephen B. Luce, how can he be-
tight, sill? ~
An English manufacturer who hast
just returned from a tour in Scotland
is relating an amusing incident which,
occurred during his trip.
In a remote village in the lowlandsl
he came across an inhabitant Of suchd
venerable appearance that he stoppedl
to chat with him.
BY the way, what Is your name?~1
inquired the traveller. Robert Burns"
was the answer. Dear me, that's al
very well known name. Nae boot itI
is, mon; I've been blacksmith in thisi
village for nigh on sixty years"
A story is told of H. H. Rogers, thel
Standard Oil man, which Is worth re-i
peating.
A young man in the city who hadl
the same name and initials as Mr..
Rogers frequently received through
the mail letters which were intended
for the Standard Oil man. One day heI
received bill for new flag furnished
to Mr.. Rogers yacht, which he mailed|
to him with the following note:
Dear Sir: ] received the inclosed
bill intended for you, as I am not for
tunate enough to own yacht. How
ever, will pay your bill If you will tell
me the best time to buy Standard Oil.',
He received the following reply:
Dear Sir: Your note at hand. n
will be glad to pay my own bill. The
best time to buy Standard OIL Is be-
tween 10 and g."
Judge Parker's Favorite Poem.
The melancholy days are here,
The air is cold and raw;
The wind howls through the branches
sere.
And DER Nebraska's prairiess c..9a7r;g.--
Floats yawps from Bryan's jaw,
Election day is drawing near
The melancholy days are here.
The melancholy days have come.
Davis would say "have came")
And 7 am feeling duced glum,
Dave Hill' admits my chance is bum.
/ fear the Donkey's lame.
In vain seek to make things hum
The melancholy days have come.
The melancholy days are here.
My nerve is waning fast.
Strenuous Theodore, / fear,
Will put me in my little bier
And lash me to the mast.
After the Sth. Dave Hill, old chum.,
Still melancholier days will come.
Milwaukee Sentinel.