Omaha daily bee., 1904-12-25
TRIFLES LEAB TO TRAGEDIES
Little Things Play an Important Part in
the Affairs Of the Wsrld.
As USUAL THE UNEXPECTED HAPPENED
Gems from the Report of a Society
Devoted TO weighing tribes and
AnsIyzinE Their Erect ou
Human Affairs.

the Investigation OF the Unexpected lays
marked emphasis on the triviality Of the
causes producing tragic results and other
wise during the year ending December /,
1904
Never before" says the committee,
have little things played so prominent
part in tho important Affairs as this
year. A very careful investigation into
almost numberless cases has shown that
instead of the great passions, love and
hate, this year petty things have held the
center Of the stage"
The committee instances murders" and,
although acknowledging that such hap
penings do not necessarily come under
the title Of unexpected, yet they have
thrown this investigation in as good meas
ure. so to speak.
The number Of homicides that have
been caused by such petty things as cold
crftee, burned bcefsteak and pies such as
mother never could have made are only
surpassed by the number they might have
caused" says the committee. There is
on record a case in Dubuque. Ia, where
the accidental dropping OF salt in Ice
cream resulted in a homicide which broke
UP a silver wedding. There is another
case In which statement that My first
wife, Emma, was wonder at making
soup brought on a calamity.
There are many cases where a refusal
to dance with one man and the acceptance
Of another mans invitation resulted In an
ARRAY. A balky horse brought on a feud
in Kentucky, because one OF the feudists
happened to laugh at the efforts Of the
other side TO start the horse. Beans have
caused murder this year, and SO have
grapes and other vegetables and fruits.
while the casualty list due to watermelons
is very large, principally in the southern
states after dark"
So far as suicides are concerned, the list,
the report says. Is equally large and trivial.
I'VE lost count of the number Of cases Of
self-destruction because the back hair had
become disarranged In public or some por-
ton of the dress had become undone. We
hate to think Of how many, principally
women, have speeded themselves because
somebody else was five minutes late. ten
minutes late or did not show up at all, or
became cold and scornful or argumentative
or intoxicated or many other things.
80 far as the lateness is concerned"
continues the report, I'VE have no record
Of any married men adopting such extreme
measures. II II a good thing or perhaps
there would not be any married men.
street Car Another Cause.
Then there is the record of where a
street car caused a young man to end all.
He was not struck by the street car but
in western town he rode until he espied
a young woman of whom he was much
enamoured. Seeking to mako an impress
sive exit from the car he swung himself
gracefully off a rear step to alight on an
unsuspected slippery spot. The spectacle
Of flying hat, flying heels and eye
glasses, to say nothing Of the further act
OF the slippery spot on the light summer
, suit. caused the young woman to laugh.
Being supersensitive the youth in question
went home to do his rash act"
One broken pen caused a similar act. A
young man in New Madrid, Miss, took the
only pen available to write a note inviting
young woman to accompany him on a
moonlight excursion. The pen broke and
there was not another to be had. AS a
result the young woman received another
invitation before the young man could 20
down town and purchase a new PEN
On the suicide subject the committee is
In doubt toward the last section. 1t SAYS
that many tragedies were caused by small
things which cannot be put down to sui
eide or homicide. They think the latter,
however, is the best place for the young
man who carelessly takes a position few
feet distant from the heels of a mule or
leans up against an alligator cage or turns
his face southwark on the southbound
tracks OF a city railroad and tries to see
what is going on in the slot
They think also that the unsophisticated
youth who tried to make a pet of a gorilla
and faced a grizzly bear, trying to calm II
oy the power Of his eye. may be said to
come dangerously near suicide, probably
on the same line of reasoning that in
duced western coroner's jury to bring a
suicide verdict on the young man who
forcibly told the late Wild Bill in strong
words that he was untruthful
When IL comes to accidents the COM
mittee fairly revels In small things-Rnats
one flea, birds, all kinds Of animals from
mice and moles up to goats, they say
caused troubles OF the unexpected kind ali
summer. A sunbonnet. a fiirtatious young
woman, one bumblebee. a dress suit case.
an innocent Berkshire pig. many puppies,
picture frame. strand Of blond hair mot
domestic), the cough of a boy In church,
seven poll parrots. the wink OF an eye, a
garter snake, a tadpole and earwig. The
committee grew tired OF counting banana
and orange skins. to say nothing OF the
slippery gangplank. the sensitive boat, the
broken oar blade and the tin can.
In Its details the committee tells of the
case or a young woman In Washington
who was nearly killed accidentally
through an innocent parrot. The parrots
afayorite resting place was a gas Jet in the
young woman's bed room. One night in
trying its bill It turned on the gas, and
the young woman would have died II the
parrot had not struck a match with its
bill and lighted the gas.
The tragedy OF the single blond had
happened to William Fortner, of Bangor
Me- 1t was his wife's tress that caused
the trouble.
Fortner was standing by her side at the
window one BREEZY evening and the wind
blew the hair into his mouth. He turned
TO expel 1t quickly when his shoulder hit
table. upsetting a lamp which set the
place afire and burned the house.
Activities of a Flea.
The flea accident came from Fresno
Cal, and the fiea was a native OF that
state. A motorman was just about to take
his car down a steep hill when the flea
made its presence known just in the No
mans land. just south OF the shoulder
blade and eastward OF the middle OF the
back. The mOtorman became so much
interested In waiting for the fiea TO get In
a nghting zone that he forgot his car
until Il was too late to check its speed