The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-05-21


brushing down a customers hair pre-
paratory to applying the shears. and
told me a story on Judge Gresham of
Indiana.
Gresham was cranky old fellow"
said the judge, "bu1 his special hobby
lay along the line Of temperance ami
Eobriety in connection with liquor. &C
bacco. meals and everything else. He
frequently would lecture TO the mem
bers of his bar on the value Of sucn
virtues and avoided no occasion to
point out examples of what he consid-
cred good and lecent conduct
"One day he had law suit in his
court in which some witnesses by the
name of Elm from southern Indiaha,
down in Perry, or Hoop-pole county
as it is better known, were present.
zone of them, a big husky old man,
was called to the stand. The judge
took a hand in the cross questioning.
He also instructed the lawyer to Wig
,orously inquire into the temperance Of
the witnesses.
f" what is your name?' asked the
lawyer.
How old are your was the next
question.
I'm a twin brother and 70 years
rOld was the reply in q squealSy voice.
DO you drink whisky came next.
Never touched drop in my life
DO you chew tobacco
Never chewed or smoked in my
life
Have you always been sober and
observed the rules of temperance and
sobriety In your life2'
Always have been sober. and al
ways observed the rules of sobriety.-
THE witness was taken off the
stand and the judge turned to the bar
and said: Gentlemen of the bar,
wish that YOU would notice this man
and follow the good example which he
has set That is the kind of person
like. I believe that people ought to
live the way he does. Keep his morals
before your lives and try to emulate
Another witness was called, who
was just as robust and healthy looking
as the first.
What is your name2' was the law
yer's question.
Henry Elm YVES the answer.
Are you brother Of John Elm?'
q" Yes sir
Then you are rs years old?'
DO you or did you ever drink
whisky in your life?
I have drunk whisky all my Efe.'
DO you or did you ever either chew
or smoker
- have chewed and smoked ever
since can remember
ufe?'
tine witness was excused.
THE members of the bar looked to-
wards the judge to see what he would
say. Finally one spoke up and said;
Judge, what do you think Of that last
We'll replied Gresham consider
ably nettled I'm frank to say that
Elm is a pretty tough proposition,
either wet or dry.
You know Dick Rohn, don't you,
the captain of the Sedaiia baseball
team % said Jerry. HE stopped in
here to get shaved the other day when
his club was in town, and told me
story on some colored ball players he
watched play a game over at I1eaven-
worth last summer.
Some of the fellows wanted to het
and make money, it was arranged
that the game could be fixed One
team was instructed to lose and set
about to do it. But the other ageSre
cation was so lamentably bum that
they just could not help winning.
Finally some of the fellows who
had up some of the money. and who
were in the deal, got desperate. So
they went to the winning team about
the eighth inniag and planned to have
the catcher get hurt so that the game
could either not be completed. or
would have to be finished with eight
men and could then be protested. for
there were only just enough players to
make up the two teams.
$50 in the due course of things the
catcher let himself be hit in the chest
with a pitched bah and dropped over
in apparent dead faint stiffening
out as though he was paralyzed.
zone of the colored fellows in the
grandstand who was not in the
fixing but who had some money bet
on the game. wanted to see il finished.
So he jumped out of the bleachers.
picked up a bucket of ice water and
made for the apparently injured
catcher
but the latter saw him coming. He
just happened to open his eyes in
time. He jumped up like flash and
yelled: You black ornery cussed mig
ger. don't YOU poh dat watah on mel
And it was only by aid of gun play
that the cops were able to keep the
intended victims of the deal from
starting free for all cutting bee.
Harry Bone. the governors private
secretary, was in here this morning" said
Jerry. and I asked him if he would play
in the State House Newspaper mems
mo. sir: III not play" replied Harry
sim the vampire.
Wv A. s Bird told me a story yester-
day, said Jerry as he began to stir up
IAN old irish lady was invited to sit in
q wake for one of the sons of Shamrock
OF her neishborhood who had died Whom
she came to the house she asked where
the corpse was and went over and looked
grieving relatives
sShure and he looks nachural. she said
and NV phwat did he doe?r
'iGangrene.' replied one Of the rela-
.Phwat koind of green7" asked the old
sof gansrene,' reiterated the relative.
"Oi don't know phwat to say to yez. hut
thank Gawd pher the color.
charles Sessions was in here tbs. other
day" said Jerry He is always joking
about something or other
i told him Of a young fellow who said
was irvine, 20 recommend the fellow as
''S;Harisy chuclsied and then said: say