The Muskogee cimeter. [volume] (Muskogee, Indian Territory, Okla.) 1901-19??, 1904-09-29

| |E2GRASS.
M1 By
- BYRON WILLIAMS
An Editorial "send Off,"

and huskin', tn kentry papers be ef-
fervescin' with speldlashun!
The way hearn 1t, one o. them
thar newspaper fellers what has allus
been wumeran teetotIar. an q
mocker O. PONIES O. pashun', up and
gifts innocerlated with that thar loves
fitful fever twelve miles frum q body
or acquer purer, an his autymobeel
tire punchured!
Seem thet he's surrounded by tn
eremy's arms, he throws hisself inter
tn face o providence (thet not bein'
her name), locks the gates behind
him an gifts shot whar it'll do him
tn most good!
Reference Is made ter Brother Hank
Somers. him as edits that thar noos.
paper over at Sasafras Corners, and
Miss Henriette Seiders, the school
marin, her as whom we bow ter in
spite o our rheumatic an tight fittin'
overalls!
Frum now on she's his'n an he's
hern, an IL he don't split ther kin.
dim as he oughter, all she's got T.
do Is ter lay down tn law an ther
statootes therein provided!
And tharby hangs er tale, as tn
meat kleaver said t. tn chopin
block after ther dorg had passed
through tn skissage faktury! But
Jest why them Missoury editurs should
be speckilatin' is more'n kin see, fer
every man, no matter how he's bin
blowin' his foghorn, gifts sumbody sum
day t put linseed poltises onto his
nuralgy, provided he don't wait SO
long tn bait gifts all dried up an omen
ticin' no more!
Fer years now Brother Hank has
bin putin his own cat out nights an
goin' round braggin' thet no wumelan
ever'd git him cOrnered inter q mess
O. chippendale ferniture in his stockin'
feet! No, stree!
Ev'ry time er good-lookin' wunl-
Grand come proselitin' Ground his
bailerwick, he'd sic ther office dorg
onto her an take fer tn bowels O. his
sanktum sanktorium. scarder. than a
gopher what he'd got his tail decap-
NA'osSo III Si otCCl tIdDs
But tn good Lord knows best, an
one day Brother Somers he seen a
wumeran thet set tn whole dummed
universe { singin' "Bedelia." an sich.
like poplar musk! Then he begin ter
quotin' potry. killed his dorg an got
religiOuser'n all git out!
Well. t make long story some
lessn spool er rope, he up an got
married an they do say down in Mis-
soury he dun erbCut right considerin'
tn gal. exceptin' he oughter seasoned
ther wind t ther shorn lamb sost all
tn boys wouldn't swallowed ther
stoar teeth gaspin' fer surprise when
tn weddin' bells got ter doin' tn
ding-ding!
When they went on ther tower they
cum by the great lakes, somehow er
:athei, TO ShicagO. They cum by
water sosts they could be seasick I'm
each others arms fur the fust (and
lasD time! Well, him wantin t. show
her of ter excuse hisself fer. not
askin' our opinion. he brung tn lady
Ground fer our inspeckshun. We amt
got nuthin' t say, bein' as how he
seen her fust, exceptin' thet she's a
bit o femerninity thet makes feller
think O. tn time when his OIL wum.
eran said IL WILL" and he wilted. She's
tn kind er joolry thet amt goin' T.
let her oil man git loansum wastin'
his affekshuns on no dorg!
Well, agin', ther boys all erlong tn
line sort er got out an handed 'em
bokets with one hand and tied q can
{ em with the other hand, Jest T. make
'em remember what twas they wuz
celebratin'. Down t st. Joseph. Mis-.
soury. Bill Williams. bein' no relation
o. ourn and probly glad Of 1t, he put