The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-06-25


ELECTROMAGNETIC you been to
Westminster Abbey YETI Fair Amer.
ican-No; but hear it highly spoken
of.-Ex.
Visitor-Has your little baby sister
got any teeth? Tommy-Oh, yesl |
guess she's got 'em, but she amt
Matched 'em out yet.-Philadelphia
Ledger.
What do you think of my death
scene? asked the actor. well, 1t |
seemed to me 1t came little too lats
in the piece" was the reply.-Chica-
60 Evening Post.
Daily Guide to Flattery.-If you
meet woman who strongly suspects
that she is beauty, ask her earnestly
II all her family are beautiful.-Bal.I
timore American.
Dorothy-So Jack kissed you, chi
Did you give him any encourage
ment? Judia-Encouragement! Say,
l guess you don't know Jack. do you
Philadelphia Ledger.
Anything To Blame It On.-Mother
Johnny Jones, did you get that aw-
full cold out skating7 Son-Mother. I
think 1 caught 1t washing my face
yesterday morning.-Judge.
The Empress Of China-What is
/ that strange noise l hear2 The Min
! lister Of the Intarior-It Is the bottom
dropping out Of the New York stock
market, your majesty.-Lffe.
Stimulation.-Biggs-I understand
that young Briefly has taken up the
law since he married. Dlggs-Very
likely. / understand that his wife
lays it down to him.--Chicago News.
Willie-Pa, you don't get chestnuts
until after there's a frost, do you? Pa
Except In the case Of a farce-com-
edy, my son. Then the chestnuts come
first and the frost afterward.-Phila-
delphia Press
A Physicians Blunder-Dr. links
IL suppose you must have lost some
Of your patients by being away for
so long time? DR.. Kent-Yes, con-
found 1t! Ten or a dozen of them got
Well.-Boston Transcript.
Small Consolation.~--TheL andlady--
Pm afraid Mr.. Slopay has forgotten
what a large bill he owes me. The
Star Boarder-No, he hasn't. He said
only yesterday that he wished he had
money enough to move.-Judge.
Miss Pepprey-I suppose that was
your valet l saw with you yesterday.
Cholly-My deah Miss Peppwey, don't
say valet" That word. you know
La not used now as-- Miss Pepprey
Well, then, your keeper Eek.
Miss Howjames lat the opera)-
Hasn't she a marvellous technique1
Mr.. Cahokia-Yes, but she doesn't-el
seem to know how to manage II
, gracefully. She gives 1t a sort Of kicH
, when she turns around.-Chicago Trib
r une.
t my gracious! What crushl'
l. gasped the shopper "1'm nearly
= dead" Permit me, madam" said thu
!. hoorwalker, politely, "to call your at
tention to our undertaking department
}. in the basement "-PKiladelphia Led
g ger.
II Mr.. B---My dear Mrs. Croesus, ma!
d I not put your name down for ticket
r to Professor Pundit's course Of lee
It lures on Buddhism Mrs. Cob, b,
d all means! You know how passion
8. ately fond l am OF flowers. "-Plck
e Me-Up.
Mrs. Jilson-Foreign newspaper
n contain many advertisements Of title
n for sale by members Of noble families
Re Old Jilson-They should advertise 70
e sealed proposals from American he'll
esses; this is leap year.-Detroit Ere
'e Press.
e. Laying Down the Law.-Lady Ter
N tertaining friends little glrl-Do 20
D. take sugar, darling? The Darling
l. Yes, please Lady-How many Jumps
I. The Darlington, about seven. an
II when I'm out to tea I start with cak
~ Punch.
7e Mr.. Milyuns-Now, Tommy. 20
must go to school and work hare
Why, look at me! | started withot
g a cent and now I'm q millionalc
IL lIOmmy-1CSs hnOWS ONl SVO SdA
do it any more. They all have cas-
registers now.-Ex.
rs Living at Swamphurst, ehf That
ze up the river, isn't it2' yes" IA
es your grounds near the waterT" 1--WE
n, sometimes they're as much as s
es inches from the surface, and on ra
occasions there's no water on them
all."-Philadelphla Ledger.
N A Shrewd Wife-MrS Greene
"a hope you trust your husband implicit
II lily? Mrs. Brown-Oh, yes, indeed; b
10 I wouldn't have him know it for Il
M world. If he were aware Of my pc
u. feet trust in him he might be tempt
n. to take advantage of it, you know"
C. Boston Transcript.
in Exercise for Both.-Does your wi
90 in for athletics?" "Um-yes, in
way. She went our yesterday to ia