Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1904-02-26
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dllueuL lies III LILO
thorax, and epiglottis. Hooli-
gan-Indade? An M afther thinkin'
TIL trouble was in me throat.-Judge.
How he is known: Wife-Before
marriage a man is known by the COM
pany he keeps. Husband-And after!
Wife-By the clothes his wife wears.
Town Topics.
Goodman-Do you eve think Of the
good old saying that it's more blessed
to give than to receive? Pugsley-
Yes, when I've got the boxing gloves
on 1 do.-Vogue.
An alternatives: Mahoole-Nixt
tonne OF pass wild a loidy, Mulligan,
we've got to remove your hat! Null
ligan-And suppose OF refuse? Ma
hoole-Then, bedad, we've got to re-
move your coat.-Chicago News.
Juvenile reasoning: Sammy-Going
to move soon, Tommy? Tommy-Yes.
Sammy-How do you know? Tom
my-Ah! How do l know! Didn't
me mother lemme break a winder
t'other day and didn't say nothin'?-
Tit-Bits.
Kitty Ito Bertha in her new frock,
Why, darling, how becoming your
gown is. Absolutely any II would
think it quite new! Bertha-So kind
Of you to say so! And yours, dear,
looks every bit as well as it did years
ago.-Boston Transcript.
The doctors orders: Dedelia-Phat
are yez dom takin the lock off the
cupboard dure, Pat? Are yez crazy?
Pat-No, darlint; tn dochtor tould me
to-day that l must quit boltin' me
food-and I'm goin' to obey insthrus-
tions!-Cincinnati Times-Star.
Mother-Why don't you behave bet
ter to your teacher? Tommy-Why,
I'm as kind to her as 1 kin be. Moth
er-You are? Tommy-Yes'm. Ev-
cry time she ticks me | cry as loud as
l kin SOS to make her believe she's
hurtin' me.-Philadelphia Ledger.
Hardupp-I tried to sell those dia.
monds l bought Of you, and was told
they were not genuine. Jeweler-
Did you sell them? bankruptcies, for
almost nothing. Jeweler-Well you 60
back and try to buy them, and you
will find out that they are genuine.
Exchange.
Rosalie-Have you chosen any of
your bridesmaids yet? May-Yes--
Fanny Lyon. Rosalie-Why, /
thought you hated her? May-No,
not exactly; but the bridesmaids are
to wear yellow, and you can imagine
how that will go with Fanny's com.
pleXion.-BaZar.
First impressions: "The first time ]
saw you l thought how lucky
should be if l could induce that de
licious little angel to be my wife.
And what did you think? 81 thought
oh! dear me! l wonder if | shall
ever have to marry such a homely
looking man as that" Puck.
He had promised: The fair bride
wept copiously. "Boo-hoo" she
screamed; you are a mean old thing
so there! You didn't eat one of my
biscuits." But, darling" 'Ther,
is no excuse, sir! Didn't you tell m,
when you married me-boo-hoo!-tha
you would die for me?"-Baltimor,
News.
Obviously: Benevolent old gentle
man-Don't you think fishing a crue
sport? Fisherman should JUS
think it was. I've been sitting her,
five hours and never had a single bite
and I've got three wasp stings. an,
been eaten up with flies, and the sun
taken all the skin off the back of m,
neck!-Pick-Me-Up.
Her conclusion: "Do you thin
your father has any idea that | hay
serious intentions concerning you?
Il heard him telling mother, the othe
day, that he didn't think it would cos
any more to have you at the tabl
regularly than 1t does for me to fee
you from the pantry shelves ever
night."-Chicago Record Herald.
Walter Scott liked to tell the stor
Of his meeting an Irish beggar in tn
street who importuned him for a 81,
pence. Not having one, Scott CAV
him a shilling, adding with a laugl
Now remember, you owe me ST,
pence" "Och, sure enough" said tn
beggar, "and God grant you may ly
till l pay you!"-Youth's companion
A preacher at the conclusion of on
OF his sermon said: Let all in tb
house who are paying their deb,
stand up" Instantly every man, w,
man and child with one exceptio,
o to their feet. The preach,
seated them and said: Now ever
man not paying his debts stand up