davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
Would Not Pay Twice.

A man recently, whose bans of mar
riage had been twice published, asked
leave to substitute the name of an
other girl for the one which had been
so far coupled with his own. He was,
of course, told that this could not be
done without withdrawing the first
banns and payment of fees a seco1.L
time.
do you mean to say I should have
to begin all over again." he asked.
Certainly" was the reply. The
banns must be published three times
in the names Of the persons who are
actually to be married"
And must pay all over again if
have the other girl?"
EYES," replied the clergyman.
well, l call that too bad" and
them after few moments: Cali right,
l shall stick to the first girl. I'm not
going to pay twice over for anybody"
He was married accordingly the fol-
lowing week.-Tit-Bits.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
Apparent Death.

The Lancet recalls a number of re-
markable cases of resuscitation from
apparent death. One of these was re.
corded by the late Sir Benjamin
Ward Richardson. A medical man
had taken 120 grains of choral. When
seen life seemed to all common OBJ
servation to be extinct. No pulse or
evidence of breathing was percepti-
BILE, and it was very difficult to de-
tect the sounds of the heart, while
the temperature had sunk to 81 de-
grees Fair. The man had been in
that condition some hours. The pa
tient was revived, however, by rails
ing the temperature of the room to
"a degrees and injecting warm milk
and water into the stomach; and he
made complete recovery. Slaves of
alcohol and narcotics run great risks
of this kind.-Baltimore Sun.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
Simple Cure for Loekjaw.

My father (who has. now passed
away was physician. practicing for
over fifty years, and cured many,
many cases of lockjaw. Even after
the jaws were set they became re-
Taxed, and the patients recovered.
He often told me that it was a
great outrage to let the patients die
OF lockjaw, as they have done time
after time in the hospitals of this
city. Then he told me what to do
and which l have always done when.
ever l have accidentally cut my hand
or foot with rusty iron, and have new.
er had any serious results. He told
me that this knowledge he received
from an old French physician, years
ago. He said to take a raw red bee.,
cut it in half and scrape or mash it
into pulp and apply it to the wound.
and also to the palms of the hands,
binding it on like a poultice. The
juice of the red beet will cure lock
jaw. 1t draws the poison out and
prevents it from spreading.-Phila
delphia Record.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05

Z R. H. Plant, a Macon (Ga.) banker
wto wrecked his health and his bust
ness by overwork, finally settled mat.
tiers with his numerous creditors by
committing suicide, the insurance on
his life aggregating $1,O15, 900. A dis
patch says that the, bitter feeling
against him on the part of the pub
lie has subsidized since his death. but
1t is safe to say that the insurance
companies do not share In this sym
pathetic forgiveness. 4
However, insurance companies that
take SUCH great risks on 9 single life
necessarily have to consider the posi-
.bility Of suicide. Life insurance re-
verses the old Injunction of the law.
The seller. not the buyer, must be-
ware, and singulariy enough the ten
dency is toward the elimination Of al
resurrection on the conduct Of the In
sMred VI fl ii,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05

/ lot, 25x10O feet, would cost the tire
mendous sum Of s1,029, 800. Rather
costly dirt.
Two years ago little, triangular BIZ
of land was sold in New York for 5000
which was at the rate of $500 a square
foot, of $3.47 q square inch. This, how
ever was not really as expensive land
as the piece have been describing
because it was larger--a man dould
stand upon it-and 1t was in bust
ness section, and so was actually more
! valuable. s
My purpose in relating these real
estate transactions is to warn who
ever may be reading this against leav
ing any strip of territory in the city
Of his soul to be occupied by the Evil
One.
"This fault is so very slight. This
sin is such little one. 1t really is
Microscopic. It isn't worth botherins
about"
Listen!
There isn't in all New York city a
business man half as shrewd as your
adversary, the devil. Let sin have
any territory in the city of your soul
though it be strip less than an inch
wide, and he will build on il struc
ture that will shut out your pure air
and your CHEEKY sunshine and your
view of heaven.
Buy him out! Buy him out!
1t may take all you can raise OF
resolution and strength and courage
and persistence. But remember, you
can draw on the bank of heaven
There are endless resources up above
At any rate-a million for a square
inch, if necessary-buy him out! You
must own all the land in the city OF
your soul.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
The Hand of Death

Softly she slept in the night-her new
born babe at her breast,
With a tiny dimpling hand to the yield
ing bosom pressed
AS rose from her side to go-though
sore was my heart to stay
To the case of the laboring ewes that
else would have died ere day.
Banking the peats on the hearth,
reached from the rafter-hook
The lanthorn and kindled the flame, and,
taking my plaid and crook,
I lifted the latch. and turned once more
to see if she slept:
And looked on the slumber of peace;
then into the night l stepped
Into the swirling dark of the driving,
And a world that seemed to sway and
slip from under my feet,
AS if rocked by the wind that swept the
roaring, starless night
Yet fumed in fury vain at my lam
thorn's shielded light.
Clean-drenched in the first wild gust, I
battled across the garth,
And passed through the clashing gate
the light of the glowing hearth
And the peace of love In my breast the
craven voices to quell-
As I set my teeth to the wind and turn
ed to the open fell
Over the tussocks Of bent I strove till I
MY n n t that they scarce could adi hold
MY staff or loosen the pen; but l heard
lambs weak cries
AS the CLEAN of my lanthorn lit the
night of its newborn eyes.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05

The busy thoroughfare which we
know as "Piccadilly" Is far removed
from anything rural as it is possible
to imagine, and it can hardly be real
lied that there was time when mere
ly one or two houses stood on what is
now one of the finest and richest of
the worlds streets, says the Liver.
pool Post. The name "Piccadilly" ap-
pears to be derived from the ruffs,
pickadils or piccadilloes, worn by the
gallants of the time of James l. and
Charles L., the stiffening points of
which resembled spear heads, or
picardills, a minutive OF "pica," from
the Spanish and Italian. Blount, in
his Glossographia (1656), interprets it
as the edge or skirt of garment,
and a stiff collar or band for the
neck and shoulders, whence the
wooden piccadilloes (the pillory) in
Hudibras. Thus the finest house
built in the road may have been so
named from its being the utmost or
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05

hoarse and Joyous whisper that It was
a "surc winner" "Just one more test. ,
said he, ''and then I'll show 1t to you
I've just this minute got the permis
sion Of the government to try 1t down
to the Sandy Hook Proving Grounds
II it stands that it will stand any
thing. And the non-auditory radius is
three feet four" said he with pride.
After the date when Brunder was
due back from New York missed him
for three days. At the end of thai
time ran around to the little eight
story back room which he uses as g
sort of Office and laboratory.
AS 1 shut the door he did not lool
around, but continued his writing, un
disturbed. Then noticed, suspended
from the ceiling, and within reach O!
BTunder's hand, the immense horn
that has puzzled you and others sc
much.
''By Jove," said I, with a gasp Of
establishment, Il believe the ,thins
does work, after ALL" Then l walked
toward him. II found l could plainly
hear my own footsteps as well as
other sounds, but, apparently, he was
in the charmed zone and oblivious to
any noise. / touched him on the Shout
der, and with a jump of startled sur.
prise he brought the small end of the
horn to his ear, with that peculiar
jerk of his, and said: "Hello!"
well, tell us all about it?" asked
He leaned further toward me and
ifitcEed the big horn closer.
What luck did you have, old man."
I rejoined, louder.
He shook his head mournfully and
handed out pad and pencil.
This is great" I scrawled. you're
a wonder. l always knew you'd do it. "
well don't know" said he.
took my position six feet to one side
of a 12-inch coast defense mortar. The
charge was 500 pounds. l can't tell
whether my machine worked or not.
They pulled the string-and haven
heard anything since!" ~
But he has learned since then, By
constant practice at the little end of
the horn, to hear much of what is
going on around him!
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05

Sorely I labored. and watched eacl
young lamb struggle for breath,
Fighting till dawn for my flock with tho
ancient shepherd-Death;
And glad was my heart when at las
the stackyard again 1 crossed,
And thought Of the strife well Ger will
never yeanling lost.
But ere came to the door of my home
drawing YEARLY nigh.
I heard with boding heart a feeble
querulous cry,
stood in the dawn's gray light.
Afraid Of I knew not what. sore spent
with the toll of the night.
Then. setting quaking hand to ths
latch. opened the door;
And shaking the cold from my heart,
stumbled across the floor
Unto the bed where she lay. calm-bos
omed. in dreamless rest;
And the wailing baby clutched in vaiE
at the lifeless breast.
'oo sank Wv With s cry by the bed 5 'he'
And thought how the hand Of Dealt
had stricken my whole joy dead
Ny flock, my world and my heart-witl
my love, at single blow;
And I cried: II. too. will die" and i
And that Death drew very near. when
felt the touch on my. cheek
OF little warm hand outthrust, and
heard that wailing weak.
And. knowing that not for me yet wa
rest from love and strife.
1 caught the. babe to my breast ant
looked in the eyes of life.
-wilfrid Wilson Gibson in London
Spectator.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
BY Earl M. Pratt. Oak Park, Illinois.

Does the devil enjoy seeing us
make mistakes? Systematic fore.
thought is an enemy of mistakes.
Amos R. Wells tells the following in
the Young Peoples Weekly:
There was sold not long ago in New
York city what is probably the most
expensive land ever sold anywhere;
certainly the most expensive ever sold
in New York.
1t was a tiny strip of land, and, in
its widest part, it, measured, only
seyen-eighths of an inch. 1t was forty
feet long. 1t contained, in all, only
seventeen and half square inches.
1t couldn't be seen on the map except
with microscope.
Yet it was undoubtedly there. 1t
lay alongside an expensive plot of
ground that was to be used for a
dwelling. BY some error in calcula-
ton it had not been included in the
purchase, and it had to be bought.
"Why must it be bought" you ask.
mo one could do anything with so
small piece of land"
Indeed, you are wrong. An evil
minded man could do much mischief
with. it. That seventeen and half
square inches, you must remember,
reaches up into the air as high as the
sky. He could raise on it an iron plate
that would cut off air and light and
view from the forty feet on both sides
of it. and utterly ruin the finest
houses that might be built there.
Just such abominable things have been
done. So the land had to be bought.
Fifty dollars was the price decided
upon as fair, and it was promptly paid.
That was at the rate Of $2.S6 square
inch. At this rate the average city
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
Green Peas for Felines.

It is generally supposed that cats
are carniverous animals, yet from. in
vestigations recently undertaken by a
French cat fancier it would appear
that vegetarians are to be found even
among the feline tribe.
Green peas, cooked, are among the
vegetables most favored by these
four-footed gourmets, and asparagus
is regarded as an extraordinary dain-
ty, even the hard, white stalks, usually
rejected by the most fastidious "hu-
mans" being eagerly devoured. Hari-
cot beans and sorrel are not much
thought Of, nor spinach, but cooked
chicory and lettuce are more to their
taste. Carrots are generally appreci-
ated and are said to be beneficial to
cat health. They are also excessively
fond of maize, either green. or even
the hard grains when cooked.
/, Fruit, apparently, does not appeal
to puss, apples. pears, peaches and
apricots failing to arouse her appe-
titles. On the other hand, they show
a decided taste for melons and
bananas, while some were found to be
absolutely greedy over cocoanut in any
form.
There is evidently likely to be an
opening in the future for cats vege-
table man to compete with the peripa-
tetic cats meat man of the present.
London Telegraph.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
Zzz{p HORN dQlp
MARCUS BRUNDGR
BY HOWARD REYNOLDS -


same old store; why, 1 can't exactly
say; it's just my disposition. hate a
change.
One morning had just arrived in
my office, when in walked Brunder
Now. I'm not saying a word against
Brunder. He's an inventor, and-un.
like most of them-some of the things
he gets up actually work.
Well, anyway, Brunder came in and
sat down. yanked open couple of
ventilators to let in the fresh morning
air and conversation Immediately be-
came an athletic feat. We communi.
Gated partly in pantomime, for some
time. when Brunder suddenly yelled:
"This noise is something terrible"
I nodded. Some years ago learned
to save my strength.
"But l have a plan for doing away
with it entirely!"
looked surprised.
ut just came to me as l was sitting
here" he explained. "You know that
it has been proven that both light and
sound travel in waves! Also that it's
an old law of physics that action and
reaction are equal Now, l read the
other day that somebody has discover
ed that by throwing beams of light
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
Name Of Famous Street

skirt house of the suburbs that way
Others say the name is taken from
the fact that lone Higgins who built
it (the house, got most of his estate
from the sale of piccadillas," but the
name occurs many years earlier than
the mention of the first house, thus
Gerard, in his Herbal (1596), states
that "the small wild bee-glosse
groves upon the drie-ditch bankes
about Pickadilla." The road is re
ferred to in Slows narrative of SIR
Thomas Wyatt's rebellion in 1854
as "the highway on the. hill over
against st. James," and in Aggas
map 156O) it is lettered 1.-THE way
to Redinge." The upper part of the
Haymarket and the fields adjoining
to the north and west were the "Pick.
adilly" of the Restoration. Evelyn
quotes the commissioners orders
July 13, 1862, to pave ''the Haymar.
ct about Pigudello,' and tradesmens
tokens of that date bear "Pickadilla
and "PickaMlly."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05


haven't heard anything sinee!"
of the same intensity directly at each
other the light waves nullified each
other and produced distinct zone Of
darkness. That being the case, what's
the matter with generating sound
of equal intensity and projecting it
against the other southland letting
the sounds, as it were, swallow each
other up-like the Kilkenny cats!"
"And sitting in the resulting sound
vacuum" I asked.
'Precisely."
well, but how are you ever going
to work to do that?" l asked, incredu.
lousy.
Easy enough. There is such thing
as a microphone-aD instrument that
so magnifies sound that you can hear
fly walk
so believe" said l. eff remem.
Der, it consists of tiny double-point-
ed carbon suspended between two
| standards and connected with a re.
ceiver."
Exactly so. Now take a Wheat
S1oAN AAo6S, SuSA 10 uSSu III me
naval range finders, and rig it up
SO that varying impulses will work, by
means of electro-magnets, a sliding
plug in, say, an organ pipe, adjusting
it automatically to any pitch Con-
| meet the pipe up with motor-driven
compressed air blower, and there you
are!
But it will take just little mon
ey,' he continued with an appealing
glance Simply for few preliminary
experiments; and, if there's anything
at all in it-there's fortune!"
Thereupon did an unwise but very
human thing. think the amount was
twenty-five dollars.
Days came and went and with them
the radiant and sanguine Brunder.
First It, was drawings and then 1t was
patterns, and last it was twelye-gauge
copper and insulating tape. and slowly,
with the aid of sunGry and numerous
i've and ten-dollar bills the marvellous
mechanism went together. 80
Brunder, from time to time, report.
ed good progress and finally came in
one afternoon with the startling, and
to me most unexpected announcement,
that the thing actually would work.
We shut the ventilators 90 he could
talk and he imDarted "a me- IN i
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
Take Chance of Suicide

The possibility OF suicide is care.
fully, considered when the policy is is.
sued, and the companies take no
risks, unless there is the strongest OF
Prescriptions that the INSURANCE is
rot desired for the purposes to which
Mr.. Plant devoted them
/; Neverthe instances OF suicide
for insurance money are by no means
uncommon. Not long ago another
southern business man who found
himself financially embarrassed went
to st. Louis, bought $4,000 in twent.
four accident policies. leaped from
the train on the way home and was
killed. The policies had to be paid.
Suicide is part Of the risk Of life
insurance. and the companies make
no mistake in assuming that. ia q
general way, tie desire to i've is Il,
fnitely stronger than The desire to
pay debts or provide for the support
fof q family. Ri, y "A
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
BUNCH TOGETHER.
Coffee Has Curious Way Of Finally
Attacking Some Orqan.

Coffee Has Curious Way Of Finally
Attacking Some Organ.
Ais that come from coffee are
cumulative, that is, unless the coffee
is taken away new troubles are con-
tinually appearing and the old ones
get worse. -
ITO begin WITH" says a Kansan, 81
was slave to coffee just as thou
sands of others to-day; thought
could not live without drinking strong
coffee every morning for breakfast
and had sick headaches that kept
me in bed several days every month.
Could hardly keep my food on my
stomach, but would vomit as long as
could throw anything up, and when
could get hot coffee to stay on my
stomach thought was better.
well, two years ago this spring
was that sick with rheumatism | could
not use my right arm to do any
thing, had heart trouble, was nervous,
My nerves were all unstrung and my
finger nails and tips were blue as If
l had a chill all the time, and my
face and hands yellow as pump
kin. My doctor said it was heart
disease and rheumatism, and my
neighbors said l had Bright's disease
and was going to die.
We'll, l did not know what on
earth was the matter and every morn
ing would drag myself out of bed and
go to breakfast, not to eat anything,
but to force down some more coffee.
Then in a little while would be so
nervous, my heart would beat like:
everything.
Finally one morning told my hus
band believed coffee was the cause
OF this trouble and that l thought i
would try Postum which / had seen
advertised. He said All right, so we
got Postum and although did not
like It at first got right down to
business and made It according to-
directions, then 1t was fine and the.
whole family got to using 1t and i
tell you 1t has worked wonders for
me. Thanks to Postum In place Of
the poison, coffee. now enjoy good.
health, have not been IN bed with sick
headache for two years although II had
It for 80 years before / began Postum,
and my nerves are now strong ana II
have no trouble from my heart AZ
from the rheumatism S vi 4, m
Il consider Postum : necessar y ~.
ticle Of TODD on my table. NJ friendss
who come here and tasts nv Postum
say y - delici0us. X Name given ~.
b
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05

Picking his way carefully through
the crowded down town streets l had
often noticed strange, bent. figure
a man of remarkably shrewd and in.
telligent face-but having the appear
ance of premature age and wearing
that look peculiar to those deprived of
some important faculty. What he lack
ed could not conjecture. At first
thought the shrewd eyes might be
slghtless, but the man never hesitat-
ed in taking step among the whirl-
Ing vehicles. Then deafness suggest
ed itself as the old mans infirmity,
but was in turn dismissed. The enor-
nous horn slung to a strap across his
shoulder did not resemble speaking
trumpet-it looked more like an i'm.
mense megaphone, except for its
gracefully curved outlines and hand
some enamel and nickel finish. The
popularity that attracted most atten-
tion-one at which almost every idle
pedestrian stopped to stare-was the
odd-looking old mans inveterate habit
OF hitching up on shoulder and fire.
quently bringing the smaller end of his
queer horn on a line with his hat
brlm. The only remaining alterna-
1--WE, therefore, seemed to suggest that
this strange looking individual must
be dumb, but had contrived some ex-
traordinary kind of instrument for
making himself ineligible to others;
but here theory was opposed by the
fact that, so far as my observation
went, he never tried to communicate
with others.
1t was, therefore, with surprise, not
unmixed with qualification, that l
saw him one day stop suddenly, with
one of his peculiar bitches, and extend
a cordial hand to my friend Hudson.
who is in the electrical supply bust
ness. They carried on a brief, but
apparently animated conversation, and
when they separated l fastened after
Hudson and inquired the name of
his queer acquaintance.
That" cried Hudson. "Why, that's
Marcus Brunder and his horn.
thought everybody knew about Mar.
Gus. Come, step in and lunch with me,
and III tell you all about him." !:
AS we lunched Hudson talked and
told me the following strange story,
and as l give it pretty nearly in his
exact words, shall use no marks of
quotation:
For years, you know, I have had a
store fronting on Devonshire street.
1t is on the ground floor, it's large
plate-glass windows afford a broad
view of the busy thoroughfare, and
above all. it is particularly central and
convenient.
But it is frightfully, maddeningly
noisy. Ordinary conversation is rem
dered practically impossible during
business hours.
Formerly 1 used to take prospective
buyers into the big freproof vault at
the extreme rear of the office, until
one day there was trouble with the
lock. happened to be inside at the
time. So was the president of one
Of the largest concerns in New Eng.
land
1t was a cheerful moment when.
after two hours of semi-suffocation
with our noses against a cold steel
door-sill, the professional safe-openers
on the outside announced that they
would be Obliged to use dynamite
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-08-05
consoIina a Friend.

A man was. lying in bed, very i'll
with pneumonia. To him entered a
friend.
"Ah.' said the friend, "the doctor
says you're going to die tonight.
Got pneumonia, Ell? Do you remem.
Der Deedes?"
yes fs
I. HE died Of pneumonia yesterday.
Do you remember Ranter?"
YES"
"He died Of pneumonia too. We'll,
I must 60 now. but III come and
cheer you up again to-morrow.""-Lon.
dhn Tit-Bits. Vi 355 u. & 5Ss5 II III