The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1904-02-05
Saint Peter at the Gate.
stood guard at the golden gate


With solemn mien and air sedate.
when up to the top of the golden stair
man and woman ascending there,
applied for admission. They came and stood
In hope Of the City Of Peace Get to swim win,
And asked St Peter to let them in.
The woman was tall and lank and thin,
With scraggy beardet upon her chin.
Inc man was short and thick and stout.
His stomach was built SO II rounded out.
bis face was pleasant. and all the while
The choirs in the distance s the echoes woke.
And the man kept still while the woman
spoke.
"Oh. thou that guardest the gate" said she,
We two come hither. beseeching thee
To let US enter the heavenly land,
And play our harps with tue angel band,
OF me. st. Peter. there is no doubt,
There's nothing from heaven to bar me out.
I've been TO meetings three times week
And almost always I'd rise and speak.
1--WE told the sinners about the day
When they'd repent of their evil way.
I've told my ighbors-I've told 'em all
Bout Adam and Eve. and the Primal Fail.
I've shown them what they d have to do
II they'd pass In with the chosen few.
Laid out the plan for their whole career.
I've talked and talked to 'em loud and long
For my lungs are good and my voice is strong
So good st: Peter, you'll clearly see,
The gate OF heaven is open for me,
But my old man, regret to say,
Hasn't walked exactly In the narrow way,
He smokes and swears, and grave faults he's
And don't know whether he'll pass not.
HE never would pray with an earnest vim,
Or go to revival. or join in a hymn.
So had to leave him in sorrow there,
While I. WITH the chosen. united In prayer.
He ate what the pantry CHANGED to afford.
hnd ua my saag b he s eoe
It's chance IL he merited them or not.
"But. oh. ST. Peter, love him So
To the pleasures Of heaven. please let him 60.
I've done enough--a saint I've been.
atone? Can't
By my grim gospel know tits SO
That the unrepentant must fry below,
Bnt isn't there some way you can see
That he may enter who's dear to me?
"It's a narrow gospel which pray.
But the chosen expect to find some way
or cOaxing or fOOling or bribinR you,
So that their relation can amble through
And say st. Peter, 1t seems to me
That gate isn't kept as IL ought to be,
You ought to stand right up fit the opening
And never sit down in that easy chair.
"And say. St. Peter. my sight is dimmed,
But don't like the way your whiskers are
They're cut too wide, and outw ard toss,
They'd look better narrow cut straight
across.
Well. we must be going our crown to win,
SO open, st. Peter. and We'll pass in"
st. Peter was quiet and stroked his STAFF,
But spite of his once he had to laugh.
Then said with q fiery CLEAN In his eye,
Who's tending this gate. you or r.?
And then he arose. In his stature tall,
And said to the imp who answered the bell:
Escort this female around to hell"
The man stood still as piece of stone
Stood sadly. gloomily. there alone,
A lifelong. settled idea he had
He thought If the woman went down below.
That he would certainly have to 60
That IL she went to the regions dim,
There wasn't the ghost OF a show for him.
Slowly he turned by habit bent
To follow wherever the woman went,
st. Peter. standing on duty there.
Observed that the top OF his head was bare,
He called the gentleman back and said:
Friend how long hast thou been wed?"
And d sSsS AIDED @ny
st. Peter was silent. with head bent down.
He raised his hand and scratched his crown.
Then. seeing different thought to take,
Slowly half to himself he spake.
Thirty years with that woman there!
No wonder the man han't got any hair!
Swearing is wicked, Smokes not good.
He smoked and swore-I should think he
would!
Thirty years with that tongue 80 sharp
"Ho, Angel! Gabriel! Give him harp!
je yelled harp with a golden string!
Good sir. pass In whore the angels sing!
Gabriel. give him a seat alone--
One with a cushion--up near the throne!
Call up the angels to play their best,
Let him enjoy the music and rest.
See that on finest ambrosia he feeds,
He's had about all the bell he needs,
1t isn't just hardly the thing to do
To roast him on earth and the future too"
So they gave him a;harp with gold en- strings,
A glltteriug robe and pair OF wings.
And he said as he entered the Realms OF Day:
well. this beats cucumbers. anyway
And so the scriptures had come to pass.
..The last shall be first and the first shall be
last"