The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-10-09

1
| T. c. De Leon in the New York Herald.
| A friend who Is asked to jot down 1.-The
best things" said by Bishop Wilmer. the
prelate. who was the confessed wit of
the house of bishops for three decades,
scarcely knows where to begin. He surely
will not know where to end, SO catholic
was the grasp of the bishops humor and
so pointed his spontaneous wit This in
born attribute not only llghtened his
| leisure, but permeated the most serious
and trying moments of his life.
| Perhaps the least known-thongh prob
ably the most noted-story of the great
| church humorist is that of his retort at
a dinner party at the north shortly after
| the civil war. He had gone on to raise
| funds for southern church use by ex-
planning the restitution and devastation
| that prevented any contributions at
home He was cordially received by old
friends, and rapidly made new ones of
! all classes and creeds. At one large
| dinner he asked the Lazarus conun-
drum" but under pressue of insistence
and with disclaimer of its authorship. All
| the facts. fortunately, are before me i'm
the bishops own handwriting, set down
at request of his daughter-in-law, Mrs.
William Holland Wilmer of Washington.
The dinner was given in New York, not
| in Boston, as has been printed often.
When. after coffee, talk became general
some old friends asked the southerner
if some pretty hard things had not been
said of the north by the lately defeated.
He replied generally that of course many
hard things had gone the rounds. Urged
to give the worst specimen he recalled.
| the guest said that it was 1.-The Lazarus
| conundrum," one asked by his gallant,
but reckless friend, Major Harry Maury,
as rejoinder to chaff from some federal
| friends.
| "Ask itr' Give it to us!' what was
| it?" echoed round the board
| The bishop Gas his manuscript tells) de-
| clined the REPETITION. ut is too hard on
YOU" he said II will not repeat It,,
| and he changed the subject. The others
came back to it, perssting in calls for
the worst thing said of them Still the
bishop declined and still the ursence m
| creased Finally the Albanian said;
"Wen l will give you the conundrum
| and leave you to puzzle out the answer.
Maury asked Why was the south like
LazarusY
Then the guessing began. Some clever
answers We're made, but none correct,
and finally all gave it up" and demand
ed the answer Again their guest refused
| to give 1t, and cited his agreement only
! to let them guess. 1T is too hard he
| persisted. 1T would not be pleasant to
| you" But again the cries went round
the board, demanding the answer more
urgently than ever. So at length the
bishop said: Il warned you 1t was pref
ty hard. Maury's answer was: Why is
the south like Lazarus? Because she was
licked by a dog!
For an instant the silence of conster-
nation held all staring at the speaker and
some pushing their chairs back from the
table Almost Immediately reYulsion
came; laughter was general and cries
went round, "Capftali' "As good as
! hardY and the like. One notified face
old gentleman sat putting with rage and
glaling at his vis-a-vls. Then he blurted
out:
"Well, sir, If you at the south consider
us dogs, why do you come up mere to beg
of us?"
In a fash the bishop answered; Be
cause in the south we believe In the
proverb that the hair of the dog Is good
| for the bite!'
The table ratified with the applause and
laughter, though the notified faced one
made no rejoinder But next morning be-
| fore Bishop Wilmer arose, he received an
envelope from his assailant of the dinner
table, covering his check for $1,000 This
sum he set apart as the start Tor the
Mobile Protestant Orphans Asylum; the
first institution of the sort begun in the
south after the war, and the first in the
union unendowed and in charge OF a
sisterhood This institution, when COM
pleted soon after. was the pride and JOY
of the bishops heart. He was specially
| fond of showing 1t to visitors from the
| north, and IL he knew them well a
| twinkle would come into his eye as he
remarked "This is about the best appli-
| cation of the hair of the dog ON record.
| There was never hint of bitterness
| or of malevolence In Bishop Wilmer $
| sharpest thrusts. They went home al
all times, but that was because his per-
| ception of weakness in his targets was SO
| quick A native of Virginia and for
nearly half a century resident of Ala
| bama, he was ever a staunch advocate
| of southern rights. Courage of his con-
victions and their bold and unchanging
/ expression were born in him.
! He struck friend and foe-if he had any
! of the latter-wheneyer one stood fair"
! Once he was turning over a check sent
| by an intimate who had buried three
| rich wives. The treasurer asked: "Bish-
|
! into?
Il don't know, but he got 1t out OF
I three vaults"
His most active defamer could never
| have charged the bishop with Sheridan
trick of carrying prepared bon mots into
company and then directing conversa-
ton towards their exploiting The do
nestle trend of the preiacy is accentu-
ated by the fact that some of its incum-
bents had taken two or more wives
Bishop Wilmer once declined pleasant
invitation on the ground that he was
going to a distant point to marry a
young priest His inviter regretted and
added: ''But you will not be detained by
him again, at least"
I'VE cannot TELL" was the thoughtful
rejoinder. He may get to be bishop"
A non sequitur criticism of this writer
| when he edited Mobile paper, decades
gone. A number of noted confederates
CHANGED to die about the same time. The
new editor went in for their obituaries
In the forid style then prevalent. and he
was vastly proud In his mortuary output.
Next morning he saw the bishop 1t