Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1904-08-27
a CIRCUS MANS TALE.

making 1t punishable offense by fine
OF from $40 to 500 for any circus to dis
pIay posters or any feature which the
ei~cus does not actually exhibit
consequently. "Tody" Hamilton, the
greatest Of all the circus press agents,
sgho dropped into Washington a couple
OF days ago to see friends there OF that
city, is beginning to age rapidly, says
sshe Star Of that city.
Gosh, hope that idea doesn't
spread" he said, in an alarmed tone,
commenting on the measure before the
Virginia legislature Il do for fact.
AS 1t is, IL the bill goes through, sup
pose the greatest show on earth, which
1 have the honor to represent, will have
to duck Virginia during the coming sea-
son. The man who introduced that bill
must want a powerful big so cents
worth. Great Scott. IL they'd fine us only
$40, instead Of 800, for each thing we
advertise and then don't show up with,
st would cost us about s4,567 ,S976 to
put up the tents in every town we struck.
Circus posters are not meant to be taken
literally. They're just pictured airy per-
sifiage, as 1t were.
But they do take the posters literally
in the wayback regions. Most OF the
Hey, Rube, battles between the merry
VILLAGERS and the circus men have been
caused by the circus failure to exhibit
features that were advertised merely
in a Pickwickian or if-such-things-
could-only-be sense. Before | had the
honor to represent the greatest aggre-
cation of curiosities on the habitable
globe. comprising etc, etc, | did the
press work and the experimenting OF
the bill boards for considerably small
er circus. Well the big show was then
exhibiting the white baby elephant, and
of course it was up to us to fix up white
baby elephant, too. We did. 1t went
with a rush for awhile, that baby ele-
phant, but after about two months the
many thicknesses of white lead applied
TO the baby elephants hide began to
poison the poor little pachyderm pup up
some, and it looked so sad and done up
over the closing up Of its pores with
the paint that we decided we'd have to
let up on him for awhile. We were in
the middle of Georgia when we reached
this decision. On the day we failed to
exhibit the marvellous white baby ele-
plant, the pet of his imperial majesty,
the shah of Persia, the plaything OF
princesses, and sacred to the high priests
of the great temple of La-loop. the fire
king, there was an immediate crouch
on the part of the populace of the little
Georgia town that had dug up their two
bits to see the show They demanded
the baby elephant in loud, raucous tones,
and when the situation looked serious
the ringmaster had to appear in the
menagerie and attempt to quiet the
crowd with an explanation.
1.-THE ringmaster's announcement was
received with boots and ieers, and it was
plain that the situation hadn't yet been
cleared There were loud demands for
details as to the nature of the marvellous
white baby elephants illness. The ring
master, quick thinker, thought he saw
a chance to get in one on the crowd.
Ladies and gentlemen he an
nounced, again taking his stand on top
of barrel, the illness of the cherished
Persia is due to the fact that last even
fng. in an unguarded moment, while be-
ing loaded on the cars, the tender ami
NAL, espying an open barrel of tar, par
took Of the same in such large quaint
ties that his system has been thorough
dy impregnated and soiled with the for
eign substance, to which need not say,
he was wholly unused as an article Of
diet. Nay. not only did the unwonted
meal of common paving tar suffuse dis
astrously the internal system of the pet
ted plaything of oriental princesses, but
ct pereolated throughout his entire sys-
ren to such an extent that at this very
moment the young and pampered ami
mails hide is as dark as that of any other
fof the elephants connected with the
menagerie, and the veterinaries in at
tendance state that it will be some
weeks, or until the tar has been COM
pietely eliminated from the animals
system, before his coat will resume its
usual milky whiteness.'
at was bold play, that of the ring
master. but the crowd still exhibited
rskepticism. They demanded to see the
animal anyway, with its tar-turned
white coat. They didn't care If the shah's
pet had turned as black as a stovepipe,
they declared, they wanted a glimpse of
him.
''The elephant attendant hadn't quite
finished washing the white paint off of
the marvellous white baby elephant with
a diluted solution of turpentine, but the
crowd was impatiently demanding a
sight OF the tar-transformed pachyderm.
So the elephant man led the dopy and
dropping little four-footed chap out into
tthe Enclosure. The crowd pressed for
ward to see him, and several of them
Gaught sight Of some remnants OF white
aeaS still clinging to the pups long At
criean ears.
"Fakei Fakel It's nothin' but
fpatnt!' these rubbering individuals
AL