davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1904-04-20
DELAWARE COLLEGE
NEWARK, DELAWARE.
session of eO4-5 begin. Sept. 18Th, 1904

''O99IOI UI IVUH-1 UtkIHs otpt' IOIHs IJU4s
Entrance examinations will be held at
any of the following named places, on June
President: Newark Middletown, SMYRNA.
Dover, Milford, Georgetown, Lewes, Sea-
ford. Laurel.
Examinations for entrance will be held IN
the College on September 18th and 14th ! 1904.
Candidates should present themselves for
examination in June, as they will then have
opportunity to make up at the examination
at the College in September any deficiencies
that may be discovered
Tuition free to all students from Della
ware.
For any information about the College
write to the President. Catalogues sent
upon application.
4165 GEO. A. HARTER, President.
Smyrna times., 1904-04-20
Have
You Noticed

The great improvement in
Ready-made Clothing? More
style and better work and
trimmings than ever before,
and prices are most reasonable.
Think of such Suits as we
sell for Men at $40, SI2; SIS,
and up to $40; for Young
Men at So, $40, $I2, and SIS.
But you can't tell about them
until you see them. We are
after a big trade this Spring;
we have the styles, we have
the stock, and prices are
right. Don't miss our Tailor
ing Department if you want
Up-to-Date Suits made to
order at moderate prices. Fit
and work guaranteed.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Cured Of FISHING Habit

Persons who have become addicted.
to drinking intoxicating liquors to-
excess OCCASIONALLY reform, gamblers
once lin while lay down the cards
and work for q living, but once a man
has allowed the mania for fishing 70
secure a firm grip on him he rarely
RECEIVERS until disabled by old age
or accident. It will therefore sur
prise many to learn that within the
past week three fishermen of this city
have been cured OF their disease, and
no more desire to fish. One of them
is ]. Edmonston, whose chance for a
days sport on Labor day was ruined
by his boy losing the net with which
he was fishing for minnows under a
wharf. He determined to have an
other try, and so rugged up coil or
grapple of barbed wire and undertook
to fish up his net. He pulled up lots
Of brush and rubbish Of all sorts,
which had collected under the wharf,
but could not catch his net. Finally,
as he was hauling UP his grapple for
the last time, he heard something
drop and found that his costly hunt
ing case gold watch, with a gold fob
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Was Same Old Mower

"a neighbor of mine at Bath Beach
last July" said ex-Sheriff tom"
Dunn. FUSED to bore everybody on
the train by bemoaning the vagaries
of his lawnmower. He had about ten
square feet of lawn that he used to
shave most conscientiously every 9TH
err day. His lawnmower, however,
seemed possessed of a mischievous
demon of some sort. 1t would sulk
and refuse to go. Then, when he
started to investigate the cause of the
stoppage, it would start suddenly and
cut his finger to the bone. 1t would
alternately fail to cut the grass at all
and dig great burrows in the soft
turf. He tried to sell it, but no one
woulc take it as gift. At last, one
morning he showed me an advertise
ment in a Brooklyn paper offering for
sale at ridiculously low rate peer
less lawnmower that was warranted
to. cut grass as evenly and as regu-
larly as a patent razor. The owners
address would be furnished at the
office of the newspaper.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Strong Youth Of japan

One of the first things to impress
itself upon foreigner in Japan is the
popularity and the excellence of the
physical training given to Japanese
youth. They are race of miniature
SIartans, and they have become so
through such patient, painstaking toll
and endurance as would appall the av-
eragc American youth, Injured to soft
nesses. The Japanese schools are
nearly all modelled after American in
situations, or, as the people like to be-
lieve, after composite of all that is
best in the schools of America, Eng
land, France and Germany. The stu
dents are not, of course, trained in
modern athletics, and could hold their
own at nothing of this kind with our
magnificent college boys, but in sim
pie physical training, making the very
best of what nature has provided. the
Japanese excel any people have ever
seen.
* My very first day in the little island
empire was full of EXPLANATIONS
about this constantly evident nation
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

al characteristic, which belongs to the
lower classes and the great middle
class. The highest class in Japan is
remarkable, alas! for physical weak.
ness more than for physical perfec.
ton, condition attributable to cen.
turtles of an extraordinary sedentary
mode Of life. The ship on which I
crossed the Pacific ocean had not cast
her anchor in Yokohama harbor be-
fore she was surrounded by great
crowd-"swarm better expresses it
OF sampans, little heavy wooden boats
propelled by a single oar at the stern,
AMI almost without exception handled
by boys apparently about twelve to
fourteen years old. and whose half
naked bodies. straining against the
heavy oars, looked as if they had been
modelled in bronze by some master
artist. Their training is the kind
which necessity forces upon the la.
borer, of course, but it is none the
less splendid, and will have no less
splendid effect upon the future Japan
-Leslie's Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Woman Stopped the Train

She. timid, diminutive woman. was
frankly boasting. "Once l was great
er than all railroad rules and regula-
tons" she was saying, land held a
train ten minutes. No, did not flag
it. but l just kept everyone waiting
all that time for me to get of. You
see, it was this way: When my sta
ton was called I started up to leave
the car and found myself yanked back
suddenly. Again l tried to rise and
again was rudely tumbled back into
the seat. Then discovered that my
dress skirt was firmly fastened be-
tween the cushion and the woodwork.
In some way it had worked under,
and every time tried to move
snapped back as if there was an elias
tic hand attached to me. I tugged
and tugged, but simply could not
loosen my skirt.
II called to the conductor and ex-
planned my predicament to him. He
took up the cushion, but by that time
my skirt had worked around until it
was wedged fast between the frame of
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

chain and iamond-studded emblem at.
tached, had dropped into the river on
account Of his STOPPING too low. He
held his breath, and stopped hauling
at his grapple for q minute, till no
had bet himself $500 that his watch,
had not been caught in the grapple.
Then he pulled up slowly, and there
was his watch and fob, all right. He
let his net stay in the river, threw his
grapple away, and on the spot took q
solemn vow never again to fish Cor
anything, and to always consider his
last catch his record one. The other
two We're cured of their mania by
walking ten miles in the dust, smoke
and heat down to the mouth of tho
Willamette, and then pulling boat
for hours, fishing for bass, and never
getting even bite. They are both
men Of mature years and of sound
minds. and when they found out that
the slough is fished.. by. farmers with
set nets every night, and the markets
supplied in this way, they put their
fishing tackle, including new bait
buckets away, and said they will fish
no more.-Portland Oregonian.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

the seat and the wall. 1t was an ex-
pensive dress, and did not want to
tear it. was nearly in tears until I
heard the conductor give the brake
man orders to hold the train, and
then I nearly giggled myself into hys-
terics.
1.-TWO men behind me joined in the
tussle. They told me to stand up,
shey told me to sit down. I expected
any minute that they'd tell me to
stand on my head before l was re-
leased. Meanwhile the other passen-
gers in the car had gathered around
and were Offering assistance, and l
was nearly burning up with mortifica-
ton. Finally man with deft, careful
fingers pulled my skirt out bit by bit,
while the crowd audibly expressed
their admiration every time he had
gained half an inch. Finally he
wrenched the last bit out, and l fed.
The brakeman smiled as he helped me
off and said admiringly:
"'My, but you've delayed the train
ten minutes"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

"'No New York for mine this morn
ing!' chortled my neighbor. Tn
going to get that peerless lawnmower
this very day and take it home to
my wife as a surprise this afternoon.
She's been wild to get rid of our old
mower. From the description, this
new one is just what we've been
yearning for. And tonight I'll throw
the old one into the ash-barrel'
''The following day we were on the
same train again, and expected to be
bored by a glowing account of the
glorious new lawnmower But to
my surprise, its possessor seemed try
ing to avoid me.
How about the new lawnmower?'
asked.
There is no new lawnmower,' he
answered shortly.
But the advertisement'-
But that advertisement he re-
piled, with terrible solemnity, was
inserted by my wife. New York
Telegraph.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
NUMBERING TIME.

Francis Wilson Thought It Better
Killed Than Beaten.
Francis Wilson, the comedian, was
hearsing a. musical piece one hot day
last summer. Every one in the com.
pany was tired from their work and
the heat, and things were not running
smoothly. AS is generally known, Mr..
Wilson's voice compels him to almost
speak his songs. The chief musical
number Of the piece had been sung
four times, when the musical director
called for a repetition.
The company started it again, and
had sung only bar or two when the
director stopped them, and tapping his
baton, angrily said:
Come, come, Mr.. Wilson, you are
just numbering the time
WELL" replied the actor, "it's bet.
ter to murder it at once than to be
continually beating it as you do.'''-
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
RARY's DIAGNOSIS
Why the Man With the Long Beard
Was Embarrassed.

Why the Man With the Long Beard
Was Embarrassed.
Seated on bench in Central Park
a nurse girl was gently moving to and
fro a perambulator in which was a
baby Of about fifteen months. At the
other end of the bench was a man
whose prominent lower jaw was
adorned with luxuriant beard which
parted in the middle and curved
gracelys outward and upward.
For several minutes the baby re-
garded the man, and especially the
whiskers, with grave attention, while
he looked at her with an air of lofty
condescension. At length a beatific
smile overspread the little ones feat
ures. Then, with her blue eyes still
fixed upon the whiskers, and kicking
up her tiny feet in an ecstasy of de-
light, she gurgled:
"BOW-wow! Bow-wow!"
A wave of color suffused the mans
face above the whiskers and he hitch
ed himself uneasily in the seat. 1t was
was an awkward situation, and to re-
lieve it the nurse girl said:
mo, dearie, that isn't doggie."
The man remained to hear no more.
New York Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
The Kansas Farmers Song

In the days done gone when the drought
a. .ss was on and the chintzbugs chintzed
in. the grain: when we jest raised
crops fur the thing that hops, an,
the cyclone busted the plain; then
our reg'lar fare was hut prairy air
as we follered the shiniT' plow, an
our Sunday clothes would alarm the
crows. but you bet it's different now.
oh! a farmers life is the life fur. me;
I'm the winnin' card In the deck;
In these rattlin' days o prosperity
39 am In it up to the neck! II
My sufferin' teeth i no longer gnash. y
b I'm u king o. the rural rank,
With nuthin' to do but count the cash Il
An carrysit to the bank.
our good OF wives in their hard luck
I'd iSss lives were logged In hut attered
rags; the waists on their backs
3is a made o. flour sacks an. the skirts
was Of gunny bags Now the gowns
VA mark o. the tailor 81 hand. an, their.
jewels CLEAN like q fairy dream. an.
They're stylish to beat the 5bandl
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

~ b
( Oh! a. jayhawk life is the life fur me:
m the swiftest boss on the track!
Lust to be hoWlin' ca-lami-tee, 4$ Il
I But my howler's knocked ont g. whack.
On the knockers buglc ust to blow,
"A regular downright crank, 5'
dough ss57 4 ~ NJ 49,
In the Farmers and Drovers' Bank.
When the crops all sold an I've got the
gold we are of on furrin tower,
an we, make the trip on a high
toned ship that kin swim forty miles
the natives stare-oh! they rubber
neck at our clothes; an the cash we
blow till you'd think, by jo! we was
playin In # through q hose! .-
oh! a farenr's life is the life fur me:
u I'm q king O. the jayhawk blood: d
I'm A.. a-,Wallerin' In pros,pe tee,
y In society doin's i cut Al dash; !; n
s.B I've q hefty roll In my flank 4.
An I've got a haymow full OF cash MI
In the Farmers an I roge Bank
IL u en- Denver Post
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Cured Her Rheumatism.

Deep Valley, Pa, Oct. 31.-(Spe.
cial.)-There is deep interest in Green
county over the cure of the little
daughter of I. N. Whipkey of Rheu.
matism. She was a great sufferer for
five or six years and nothing seemed
to do her any good till she tried Dodd's
Kidney Pills. She began to improve
almost at once and now she is cured
and can run and play as other chill
dren do. Mr.. Whipkey says:
II am indeed thankful for what
Dodd's Kidney Pills have done for my
daughter; they saved her from being
a cripple perhaps for life"
Dodd's Kidney Pills have proved
that Rheumatism is one of the results
Of diseased Kidneys. Rheumatism is
caused by Uric Acid in the blood. If
the Kidneys are right there can be no
Uric Acid in the blood and conse-
quently no Rheumatism. Dodd's Kid
ney Pills make the Kidneys right.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
WI "C OOH
+ e r u n q
caught up
nultitudes
A coMMoDoRE's TIP.

His Valuable Advice to a Man With q
Naphtha Launch.
Commodore E. c. Benedict and his
Wall street friend, L. d. Huntington,
were fishing together recently when
casual acquaintance in another boat
who thought it a golden opportunity
to get valuable tip, Unanswered his
craft so that it floated by quite near
them.
How do you think things are go
ing, commodore?" he asked, eagerly.
WELL said Benedict, who is an
enthusiastic yachtsman, but has holy
horrof of naphtha, "sailboats may go
down, but naphtha launches are more
than likely to so up."-New York.
Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

~ local applications, they cannot reach tho dis
sssed portion Of the car There IL only enc way 70
cure and that 10 BY constitutional remedies
mucous lining Of the Eustachan Tube When this
tnbe IL innamed you have arunlbling sound or I'm.
perfect hearing and when 1t 10 entirely closed Deaf
10 the result aud unless the Inflammation DO
taken out and this tube restored to its
taoA he9rfng will DO destroyed forever; nine cases
but an tndamed condition Of the mucous surfaces.
We Will give One Hundred Dollars for any case OF
Deafness Caused by catafrh) that cannot be cured
BY Halls CatArrh Cure. Send for circulars, free.
Sold By Druygists, 75c.
Taks HAIRS Family Pills for constipation.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Hard to Find.

An English tourist in the Highlands
took great fancy to splendid coolie
dog belonging to a farmer and gave
the farmer ESQ for it. ''Now, Donald
he said, when the bargain was COM
pleted. wouldn't it pay you far bet.
ter to raise dogs than to raise
sheep"
Il dinna ken ABBOTT that" was the
cautious reply. Eye see, / can get
fowk to buy my sheep at ony market,
but it's no every day can get fule
to give me- fifty pounds for q doug"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
BY PROXY.
What the Baby Needed:


suffered from nervousness and
headache until one day about year
ago it suddenly occurred to me what
great coffee drinker I was and /
thought maybe this might have some
thing to do with my trouble, so I
shifted to tea for awhile but was
not better. II anything worse.
z AT that time II had baby four.
months old that we had to feed on q
bottle. until an old lady friend told
me to try Postum Food Coffee. Three
months ago commenced using Pos
tum, leaving of the tea and coffee,
and not only have my headaches and
nervous troubles entirely disappeared,
but since then I have been giving
plenty OF nurse for my baby, and
have q large, healthy child now.
II have no desire to drink anything
but Postum and know It has benefited
my children, and hope all who have
children will try Postum and find ont
for themselves what 8 really wonder
full food drink II is. 2 Name given BY
Postum Co, Battle Greek, Mich ].
Both tea and coffee contain quaint.
ties OF poisonous drug called CAT
feline that directly affects the heart,
kidneys, stomach and nerves. Postum
IL made from cereals only, scientih neal.
" blended TO get the coffee favor
Ten days trial 81, Postum Ia place Of
tea or coffee viii show I health secret,
worth more than q gold mine. There's
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
ADNlRAL'S WORDS CARRY WEIGHT.
NOTHING Left,

The late Dean Hole was fond Of
sports of all kinds, but when a report
came to his ears that his groom had
been engaged in a pugilistic set-to, the
dean felt it his duty to administer a
suitable rebuke, winding up with:
Il hope you were separated" (se-
verely).
beg pardon, sir, when I'd finished
he didn't want no separating" said
the groom.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Antique.

Mr.. Cribbs-Mrs. c., have borne
with resignation-nay, even with
cheerfulness-antique chairs that wob.
bled. antique clocks that were always
thirteen hours behind time, antique
rugs that some prehistoric Turk wove,
antique china, antique bowls, pans and
kettles. All this have smiled at; but
when you give me antique eggs for
breakfast draw the line, madam, l
draw the line.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
An Incorrect Smile.

"well, we've struck at the shop
again" said Tenspot to Hawkins.
Il thought you had strike there q
month ago.
I'VE did, and won 1t. Now we have
another strike. We're lightning, I
tell you."
But I thought that lightning didn't
strike twice in the same place.
Judge.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Worse Than Hanging.

WVFoS IUdU rIdU9UV8s IA
During q celebrated murder trial in
New York city two Irishmen were
among the interested spectators.
Sure. the evidence will convict the
prisoner" remarked one.
mot only convict him, but will hang
him." returned the other.
"Nan alive! They don't hang muir.
derers in New York;"
well, what do they do with them?"
Kill them with elocution."-Phila
delphia Public Ledger.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

WHICH We're exceedingly variable,
sometimes excessive and ct other
times scanty. The color was high,
and passages were accompanied with
scalding sensation. Doan's, Kidney
Pills soon regulated the kidney secre-
tons, making their color normal, and
banished the Inflammation which
caused the scalding sensation. / can
rest well. my back is strong and
sound, and feel much better in every
way"
For sale by all dealers, price 80
cents per box. FOSTER MILBURN
CO.. Buffalo. N. Y.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

A woman would about as lief not
have a mother as for her not to give
her recipes to make the cook mad.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

the offenders. bringing in cut dia-
nlcnds Concealed In their coiifures
and inFnooks lot their clothing which
only the most experienced women In
spectors can discover. is5 4; !,
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

lido not believe Piso's Cure for Consumption
has an equal for coughs and colds.-JoHN F.
BOYER, Trinity Springs, Ind. Feb. Is. 1900.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
A Shovel Wanted.

A detective inspector tells a story
of an Irishman who, while walking
with his friend, passed a jewelry store
where there were lot of precious
stones in the window.
Would you not like to have your
pick?" asked Pat.
mot me pick, but me shovel" said
Mike.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teethng softens the gums reduces tn
oammstfon, sllsys pain. cures wind collie CSC bottle
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
Point Of View.

Point Of View.
Mifkins-So your friend Enpeck
claims to be a self-made man, Ell?
Bifkins-Yes; but if you were to see
him when his wife happened to be
around you would think he was made
to order.-Minneapolis Times.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

The rich man is the keeper of the
poor mans bank account.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

Or. :. 10. RlNDLAus (speciaIlst).
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat.
Fargo, N. D.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
. p a n l s n
has there
more OPP
A GREAT NAVAL BATTLE.
Armada
b e e n q
och maxi

ing victory In the march of civilization than the
notable of July 49, 1885, in which the great hero
Admiral Schley, took a leading part.
It great naval battle. Without moments warning
began Quick decision undaunted excellent dis
ciplne resoute combined in Admiral
Schey to produce that dash and daring
the American soldier.
must think quickly in these days There is nc
time for slow action New enterprises arise in hour
Old ones pass away in moment
multitude of great themes camor for notice. A man
must take sides for against by intuition rather than
logical deduction.
One day this fighting admiral Schey, happened to be il
company with 9th
err who ADMIRAL S OPINION OF PE.RU.NA. " e
topics Of popular interest The subject of Peruna
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

The man that lives tos God cannot
live too long ors die too soon. Fl
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04
HAVEN WOMEN.

i.ff tx.- 4 ~ n y n. 4 !. ~ ! s. X
Mrs. Pare,
wife OF G. p.
Pare. apron,
inent resi-.
dent Of Glas-
6 Q VI. KY.
says: 81 was
sun! erin,g
from al COM
plication Of
kidney !trou-
bles. Besides
q bad back,
I had q great
deal 'os trou-
BILE with the
sec re tons.
lg.f- y Ms .
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

N. 2. n. Y. mo. As 1904.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

portance, its extensive use - - "
One asked his opinion Without moments hesitation,
he said: II cheerfuy say that MIS- schey has
Pernna and believe with good effect"
the Battle OF Santiago the thought sprung upon
him without warming and he disposed of It with the
by the Inflated Viscaya ~ ~
His words concerning Peruna gone out into the world
them - az ~ ~
Like the of his victory Cervera his words con-
vi win b ADMIRAlS WORDS CARRY WEIGHT caught up
tnents. wa
Except for an Unborn manly independence country
Speech these words would by an
officer in such notable position Admiral Schey
Except for worldwide notoriety and popularity
enjoys remedy could such out
spoken public endorsement by such man.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-04

Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle OF CAsToRI!,
q safe and sure remedy for infants and children,
end gee that It