davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Why don't they raise girls like that
nOw?" he burst out
Noel called again on Miss Emmeline
the next Thursday and the next At
ter that he went often Whether it
was her soft, vibrant voice, her gentle
eyes or her girlish manner that drew
her to him he could not say. There
was some exquisite, indefnable charm
about her and beyond that point he
did not attempt analysis.
One bleak afternoon as he was
about to take his departure they were
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28
MUSIC WAS NOT WANTED.
szndmasssr's Sudden and UnweIeome
Realization Of the Fact.


Realization Of the Fact.
A Philadelphian recently gave a
breakfast in John Philip SOusa's
honor. As the breakfast began 8
stringed orchestra strrek up, and Mr..
SOusa said, with a smile:
This music, striking up Just now,
reminds me Of something that hap
pened on the frontier a year ago
"A noted European soldier WIS
spending several weeks on the front
Ter studying certain military questions
there, and whenever he dined at head
quarters the regimental band, to show
its respect for him. voluntarily played.
Day after day the foreigner messed
with the officers. and day after day, as
soon as ne sat down. the admiring
band hurried to its place and began to
tOOt.
81 These little attentions the band
master went around explaining, are
what foreign officers of rank like.
They are used to them at home, and
if they didn't get them here they'd
feel that they were being sighted
"One evening. as the band was play
ing with great industry in the foreign
er's honor, the old man, at the end OF
a rOusing march, suddenly uttered an
oath that resOunded through the room.
"'Perdition take that band!' he ex-
claimed in a thunderous voice. 1t al
ways begins its noise Just at the time
I'm sitting down to dinner and want
to talk
"EhereupOn the bandmaster, flush
ing, sigDaIed to his men, and they all
trOOped out silently with their instru-
ments and music books, not alto
gether cOmplimented with the effect
Of their strains
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

One Of Simeon FOrd's latest stories
is about Pennsylvania Sunday
school. A young lady with philan-
thropic motives was teaching q dozen
OF two little ones in the mining dis
trict-
Now, where did tell you the
Savior was bOrn2" she asked one
morning.
Allentown" shrieked a grfmy
twelve-year-Old-
why, what do you mean. JOhnnie2
I told you He vas born At Bethlehem. -
'WeIl." replied Johnnie 4 knowed
'tETuz some place On de Lehigh Valley
railroad New TorE Tines
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Every housekeeper should know
that if they viii buy Defiance Cold
Water Starch for laundry use they
will save not only time, because It
never sticks to the iron, but because
each package contains 16 Oz.-One full
pOund-while all other Cold Water
Starches are put up in sz-pound pack
ages, and the price is the same, 10
cents. Then again because Defiance
Starch is free from all injurious chem
icals. II your grocer tries to sell you q
12-Oz- package it is because he has
q stock on hand which he wishes to
dispose Of before he puts in Defiance
He knows that Defiance Starch has
printed on every package in large let
tiers and figures &c ozs." Demand
Defiance and save much time and
money and the annoyance Of the iron
sticking. Defiance never sticks
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

A little cOOred girl entered q down
town drug store the other day. Please,
sub. ali wants some dye" Dye, enZ
What kind Of dyer" asked the clerk.
De mos fashionable kind" The most
fashionable kind2 Do you want it for
the hair?" NO, sub" ''Eggs?" No,
sub" What color do you Want?" Ny
nav done tole me for to git de mos
fashionable kind We'll, what do you
want It fOr?'' Sick stummick-" Sick
stomach I never heard OF such a
thing ! guess you've made q mistake.
You surely don't want dye" Yes, sub
You see, sub, my nav done git sick to
her stummick, an de doctah tOle her
she have to dieti"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Chauncey Olcott tells this one: "a
friend Of mine In New jersey recently
bought bull dog. and had a spacious
kennel constructed Shortly afterward
the dog attacked his owners pastor,
who called at the house. but succeeded
only in tearing the clerical gentleman
coat OF course, the dogs master
apOlOgized profusely, and insisted upon
buying a new coat for the clergyman.
Just before the preacher departed, his
host said:
7 must have a sign put on that
dog-house to warn people to beware.
4" That's a good idea said the min
lister. III get my dentist to send you
one Of his
Why. none OF his signs would do.
"fOh, yes. they would. I'll borrow
the one which reads, Teeth inserted
here" I guess that would be sufh-
Gent
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Mrs. Petty think I'll get our Willie
a savings bank for his birthday
Mr.. Petty-GOOd! and III put in
about twenty dimes as my present.
Mrs. Petty-It's a splendid bank;
once the moneys in it's impossible to
get it out
Mr.. ty-Well-er-come to think
Of it, dear. I'm so short Of money
I'll Just give Willie tin horn or some
thing.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Philanthropic Gentleman to Angler
Now, my good fellow don't you
think that angling is a very cruel
sport!
Angler should think it is. Here
I've been fishing for three hours in the
rain, got wet through. never had a bite
and shall probably have an attack OF
rheumatism. You're quite right, sir
it's a very cruel sport"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28
A New Language.

The last man to propose q universal
language Is Prof. Plano It is essen
tally Latin, but withsEt infections.
lenses. moods and genders- Persons,
cases and numbers are also abolished
II looks easy. but its very omissions
nay Prove dangerous-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

A man once wrote to a western law
yer for information in regard TO a per
son who had owed him a considerable
sum Of money for a long time
What property has he that 1 could
attach?" he asked.
The lawyers reply was brief and to
the pOints
has left nothing subject to attachment
save a widow"
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

fected q complete and permanent cure.
II suffering humanity knew the value
OF Deans Kidney Pills they would use
nothing else, as it is the only positive
cure / know"
For sale BY al dealers Price 80
cents Foster-AiIburn Co., Buffalo.
NY.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Bill Axletree-I can't understand
why there amt any mail for me.
never done anything to you.
Rural Postmaster-You amt, hey?
Didn't you mail a postal keerd last
week saying you bet I'd read every
word on it?
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Mrs. Jenner Lee OndegO-What kind
Of people are these that have moved
in next door to you?
Mrs. Selldom-Holme-The either
extremely swell or dreadfully uncOn-
ventiOnal. When their goods were
brought over they left them out on tho
lawn, where everybody could see them,
for nearly half a day before they had
them carried into the house.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28
Insist on Getting Il.

Some grocers say they don't keep De-
hance Starch. This IS because they have
q stock on hand OF ether brands con-
tanning only u o. IN a package. which
they won't be able to sell first. because
Defiance contains IS o. Tor the same
money
Do you want Is OF. instead OF u o. for
same money! Then buy Defiance Starch.
Requires no cooking
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

You never hear any one complain
about Defiance Starch" There is none
to equal it in quality and quantity.
IS ounces, 10 cents Try it now and
save your money
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Many a mans reputation for wiz
dom is due to the fact that he leaves
the most Of his remarks unsaid.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Tell me what you eat and I'll tel
you what you are" said the seer.
The man told him what he ate.
You're a BANKED fool" said the
seer.
wonderful Wonderful" exclaimed
the man.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Wigg-eThe keynote Of the modern
school OF acting is repression" Ways
Too bad II isn't suppression
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

More Flexible znu Lasting,
won't shake out OF blow out; by using
Defiance Starch you obtain better results
than possible with any other brand and
one-third more for same money.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

ached and was 50
lame that az times I
was hardly able TO
dress myself I lost
ny appetite and vas
IN a bic to sleep.
There seemed 70 be
no relief until I took
D oa ms Kidnay
Pills, but four boxes
of this remaTz -
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Tdo not believe Pfso's Cure for C0nsumptfou
has an equal for coughs and ooldz-JOzE r
BoXEz, Trinity Springs, Ind. Feb. IS. 1904
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Discard truth and bait your hook
with fattery when you fish for suckers
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Murine Eye Remedy cures sore eyes,
makes weak eyes strong All druggists Zoe
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Defiance Starch is guaranteed big
gest and best OF money refunded &c
ounces, 10 cents Try &c now
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28
FRANK J. CHENEY.
- - ---rH---a-fH.-.a q ~ -
I sEAL I


If. as the newspapers would have us
believe, all brides are beautiful, wnere
do all the hOmely married ladies come
from?
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

You can generally tell BY a girls
garter a lot about the rest Of her
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

III , hrEt DAYS q Elneas leErcTs
- SD for EFTEfs 800 triai boetis znd tresfIss.
5LE = EE-EE Ia. - AFzh scrnsts Ftiiadsphtss p
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

A broker IS a man who helps his
customers 20 go broke
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

The man who writes a love letter
doesn't necessarily make a fool Of
himself He may neglect to forward it.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

A woman is never fully satisfied with
a present until she finds out how much
il cost
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

sDvpepsta Tormentsd He for years Dr..
David EcnEedy-s FEForte Remedy cured ne NJ c
s DoaEherty, ElFlils. y = Ussd ever - yelz Giol
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

he Cat azd Barley Crop win EIuo Yield AbBsdanilJ
and other farm produce for the growing OF
which the climate IS unsurpassed
About 10000 Americans have settled In West
ern Canada during the past three years
Thousands OF free homeSteads Of 10 acres
each SIN available in the best agricultural dis
tricrS
II has been said that the United States VIII
be forced % import wheat within very lev
years Secure a farm in Canada and become
one Of those who viii produce it
Apply for information TO Superintendent OF
Immigration Ottawa Canada or 70 authorized
Canadian Government Agent-W- V Bennett
sol New York Life Building, Omaha Neb-
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

A married woman wants protection
at home and free trade at the dry
goods stores.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28
AL BROKEN DOWN.

80 sIsep-N0 ApPetfte-Just q Cen
finusI BzeIezche-
Joseph McCauley, Of IA Sholto St,
Chicago, Sachem Of Tecumseh Lodge,
says: Two years ago ny health vas
completely broken down Ny back
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28
Conway Is 20 Bet.

Moncure D. Conway has finished his
autobiography ard has gone to London
for = long rest
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

The Hare-Your reputation for slow
ness gives you a great advantage at
election time.
The TortOise-In what way2
The Hare-They can't accuse you Of
being a repeater
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

II a woman can't find an excuse she
makes one
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28
rATE OF ONO. CIR OF TOLEDO, a.

STATE OF ONO, CTR OF TOLEDO,
FRAEE J. CHENET makes oath that he Il senior
partner Of the arm q ?. J. CHESET & Co., doing
business IN the City q Toledo. County E1d STATE
Aforesaid. and that said firm VIII pay the sum Of
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every
case Of CATAEEH that cannot be cured By the q
HALL's CATAEEH CUEE.
FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn 20 before ne and subscribed IN my pres
ence, this 6tb day Of December, A ID. 1856
- A ". GLEASON.
SoTAET PUBLIC.
Hairs Catarrh Cure g. taken Internally and sct1
directly On the blood and mucous surfaces Of the
sTEtem- send for tegtfmoufals. free
p = CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold b. al Druggists. Sc
Take HAIRS Family PiIls for constipation.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

The piano practice OF a girl is music
to her mother only
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

THE UNITED STATES WILL SOON
KNOCK At THE DOORS OF
CANADA FOR WHEAT.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

Don't waste your tine. You win
need It all before you die.
The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1904-10-28

A Crop Of 100000 Bushels Of Wheat
Will Be the Record Of 1904.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
A Great Waste of Money.

A great waste of money spent on I'D.
vertising has just been brought to the
attention of people generally. 1t is
when costly circulars are sent by thou
sands through the post. The number
and variety of these circulars are al
ways great during the holiday season,
and it seems to have been especially
large this year. Some of them were
so elaborate in their Ornamentation
that the expense laid out on them
must have been very heavy. Besides,
the cost of postage wcs great. Almost
invariably, of course, such circulars
are tossed into the fire, unread. If a
man has on sale an article or articles
of which information is desired by
limited number of collectors of unique
objects. generally known to him, a
circular may serve his purpose; but,
after all, not so well as an advertise
ment in daily paper as part of the
news of the day, for then lie sticks
his notice on the bulletin at which all
society looks.
Still another great waste in adVer-
tising is due to failure to discriminate
between the value, actual and relative,
of the mediums employed for it. AS
general rule, Of course, the more re-
spect newspaper commands from its
readers the more respect they have
for the advertising in it. A bulletin
posted in disreputable quarter does
not tend to enhance the reputability
of the concern using it,
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
Fed on Roses and Currency.

A lion cub which has been on exhibit
ton in former Alderman Ian Coles
flower store in Newark avenue, Jersey
City, N. j., escaped from the store Win
dow yesterday and rubbed against
Coles left leg The florist paid no at
tention to it, thinking it was the cat,
until the cub began to claw his trous-
ers. Then be gave vicious kick and
sprinted for the stairway, with the cub
close astern. He slammed the door
shut, and the baby lion began to get
busy.
He ran around the place several
times" said Mr.. Cole, "and broke q
jardiniere on each lap. Then he quieted
down somewhat and tackled big
bunch Of American Beauty roses. He
ate dozen or more as if he liked them
and then tackled q pocketbook which
he found on the counter. He paved It
open and chewed up eight $40 bills.
Then he walked into ice box
where l keep cut flowers. That was
my chance. I ran from my hiding
place and shut the door. l kept the
cub in cold storage several minutes.
Then his keeper took charge OF him
and thawed him out. / fear III never
get those bills back, as they are not III
digestible securities. New York Sun.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
THE WRINKLE OF LAUGHTER.

What hair he has is very thin and gray
His eyes are sometimes filed with bite.
tears,
And when you see him n his weary way,
You wonder how he carries all his years.
He is so old-so old and filled with pain
One marvels at the spirit he displays;
Yet from those eyes there flashes, once
again,
The splendid courage of his younger
\ days.
And ever, when you greet him, you
will see
Upon his face smile from worry free!
There are hundred wrinkles on his face
Scars left by Father Time from battles
Yet, there is one which does deserve its
And, wrinkle that it is, it honors him.
It's long and deeply marked, and some
might say
1t is the badge of laughter; day by day
He saw the happy side-and made it
grow!
4, Though life has been no joke to him,
he's found
The value of laush-and passed it
round.
In years to come, when am old and gray
One hope l have-that men may say of
me,
1.-THE wrinkles that he has We would not
change
! The cheerful side of life he heloed US
Jack Appleton, in Cincinnati Times-Star.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
Toad Poison.

The popular theory that toad's skin
contains venom has been confirmed by
Professor Kravkoff's investigations.
Irritation, Inflammation, and even gan
creme and death have been known to
occur from contact with toad's skin.
Professor Kravkoff, from experiments
on animals with the active principle
Of poison, "phrynin," has found the
results of subcutaneous injection to be
increased blood pressure, marked in
fuence on the hearts action, which
first beats quickly and irregularly, and
finally stops. In warm-blooded ami.
mails, salvation, vomiting, diarrhoea,
asthma and convulsions occur.
All three symptoms are the same as
with digitalin, the active principle OF
the foxglove. Phrynin may also be
used as local anaesthetic, like CO.
caine.-London Express.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
Emperor of Japan's Pedigree.

The Emperor of Japan surpasses all
sovereigns in the length Of his pedi-
gree. He is the one hundred and
twcnty-second member in direct, un-
broken descent of his family who has
sat on the throne of Japan. The found.
er of his house was, in Japanese le-
gend, a goddess of the sun, and con-
temporary with Nebuchadnezzar, GGG
years before the Christian era. On the
other hand, the Romanoffs have been
royal only since lG01, when they sue
ceeded to the sovereignty of tie tnel
extinct house Of Rurik. AS for the
other European rulers, King Sdwarl
can 90 back to Cedric. 495 A. D., the
Hapsburgs to 952 n. D., and the Ho-
henzollerns to the eighth century, but
as kinge only to 1701.-London Chron'
icle.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
Curling Popular in Canada.

One of the most popular of Canadian
winter sports is curling, which is said
to have originated in Scotland. TO the
uninitiated the sight is that of four
men sweeping the ice; but there is
method in the game, and the curling
stones and tees are arranged carefully,
for q scientific player is keen to take
advantage of every ruling. The tees
are placed thirty-eight yards apart; the
players stand behind tee, and the
score is marked on the ice seven yards
in front of each tee Of course the
game is to keep the stone within GER
tain limits, a feat not easily accom-
plished.-St. Nicholas.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23

by local applications as they cannot reach the
diseased portion of the ear. There is only one
way to cure deafness, and that is by consti-
tutionai remedies. Deafness is caused by an
iasamed condition of the mucous lining Of
the Eustachian Tube. When this tube is in
famed you have rumbling sound or imper-
feet hearing, and when it is entirely closed
Deafness is the result, and unless the infam-
nation can be taken out and this tube re-
stored to it's normal condition, hearing will
be destroyed forever. Nine cases out OF ten
are caused by catarrh, which is nothing but an
inflamed condition Of the mucous surfaces
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case Of Deafness Caused by catarrh )that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars free. FL. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75e.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
Australian Hardwood.

To the fact that Australia possesses
the finest hardwoods in the world is
due the mammoth order which South
Africa recently placed with Sydney
firm for the supply Of 47O,OO0 railway
ties. These We're to be seven feet long,
ten inches wide, five inches deep, and
to consist of black-butt, box and ma
hogany. The first shipment, consisting
of $4,000 ties, represented superficial
measurement of 100000 feet, and q
dead weight of 5000 tons. The second
shipment consisted of 10000 ties, rep
resenting 6000 tons.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
Iron Castinp With Hi.tory.

What is believed to be the first iron
casting made in the territory now in
cluded in the United States is preserved
in Lynn, Mass. Its history is well au-
thenticated. 1t is cooking pot, weigh
ing a little over two pounds. 1t was
made about 1912, near Lynn. where a
small blast furnace was built in that
year. This furnace used charcoal for
fuel, with bog ore found in the mead
ows along the Saugus River, and oys-
ter shells as fluX. The furnace was op-
Grated until 1858, with some internis-
Sions.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
Temperance For Railroad Men.

Some time since, the Boston and Maine
Railroad bought a hotel at Rotterdam, n;
Y, where liquor had previously beer, sold
and turned it into plant for moral and
religious work among the railroad en-
ployes, who congregated in large numbers
in that town. It was determined to sup
plant the saloon by affording employees
place of resort, which was conducted upon
moral principles and where religion might
announce that the investment has been
decidedly paving one. The employees are
more sober and reliable. The danger from
accidents and injuries to life and limb has
been decreased, and the religious hotel is
regarded as success.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
What He Had to Say,

A number of young men were one day
sitting around the fire in the waiting room
OF an English railway talking about total
man came in with prisoner in handouts.
He listened to the young mems conyersa'
ton, but did not give any opinion. There
was also in the room Mr.. Mcdonald,
minister of the gospel, who, hearing what
the young men were saying. stepped up, to
the policeman and said: Pray, Sir, what
have you to say about temperance"
"Well,' replied the policeman, &" all ! have
to say is that never took teetotalier to
York Castle prison in my life, nor tc
Wakefield house of correction, either"
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1904-03-23
Strong Prohibitory Ordinance.

The strongest prohibitory ordinance: yet
adopted within the State of California ls
that which was recently enacted by the
trustees of Lompoc, which provides for the
following penalties: First violation, $40;
fine and thirty days imprisonment; second
violation, 5000 fine, sixty days 1mprlson'
ment; third violation, $500 fine and ninety
days. According to this ordinance all pre-
scrptions for liquor must be signed by q
duly accredited physician, and mus: state
day, hour and minute when given, and
must be filed within three hours of date
and placed on a separate file by the drug
Gists for inspection.