The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-09-10
TIE NONPAREJL MAN
The Best Way to Care for a Kicking Cow
IS to Sell Her-some Of the Troubles
Brought Into the Dairy Business by an
Animal Whose Rear Limb Works on
the Principle Of the Hair Trigger.

Inc best way to take care Of kicking
cow is to sell her-preferably to the meat
man. A. kicking COW is an Improbable
animal IN the dairy business, for that is
a. calling that needs cows and not mules.
The Wisconsin Farmer says:
Don't kick # your COW kicks; she does
not Know any better-you do a.
"A man who kicks back when the COW
KICKS shows his unfitness for the lob of
COWS housemaid. A COW is never cured OF
Kicking by cruelty. It is difficult enough
70 cure her by Kindness. You may have
heard OF the doctrine of "refiex action -
Ihat accounts for the cow AS q. calf she
gets a danger idea, foolish, Of course,
translates it in terms of self-defense and
so KICKS. AS time goes on she foreets
Just why she kicks. 1t is just reflex action
and nothing else.
But this scientific explanation does not
soothe the farmers feelings when he
hears his milkpail wandering around
among the rafters or when he is handed
out a good swift one that lays him IN for
a week during harvest. We make it a
practice never to keep kicking cow any
longer than she can bs made fat for mar
Ket. RMS Is the best way to get value
received from a kicking COW. In the
words Of the poet:
Q. heifer, In our hours Of ease
Uncertain, coy and hard to please.
Unless we watch thee all the while
Thou kickst the milkpail forty mile.
y. red COW, with thine iron heel,
Thou for the farmers child dost feel
AND of across the pasture fence
see the offspring sailing hence.
At eventide I take the pail
10 mix thee by the pasture rail;
Recaleltrant, as ever, thou
Dost snite thine owner on the brow.
Come hither, butcher, do thy worst
10 this ere speckled cow accurst;
Sell to no friends Of mine, beg,
A steak from off that north hind leg.
Harper's Magazine tells the story how
before his honor, Judge Jefferson Davis,
OF Walnut Grove precinct No. g. in the
territory OF Arizona and county Of Yava-
pal, one John Doe was solemnly ar
ra1gned for stealing a certain saddle. and
was convicted by the jury of murder in
the hrst degree. The court promptly ad-
monished the good men and true
that such a verdict wouldn't co.
and sent them back. A few min
utes later a brother of the defendant
came along and presented them with a
quart OF bourbon and a couple of sacks
or smoking tobacco, along with new
deck of cards, accompanied with the com
pliments of the defendant, and an hour
later the jury returned the following YER
dict: We the jury, with a supreme rev.
erence for the principle of justice and
profound Difference for this honorable
court, find that the defendant, John Doe
stole the saddle in self defense and there
fore acquit him."
The Sacred Heart Journals devil sud-
denly flew the battlements The Journal
says that Eddie is indebted to the local
merchants for favors extended over two
or three years, for which he has care
fully neglected to settle. This accounts
for his folding his tent and doing the
Arabian act. Keep your eye on your
devil.
Louis Deibler, Mgr. de Paris" who
during thirty-nine years of service, has
executed 327 criminals, but who retired
IN 1888 on a pension, has just died In
Paris, full of years and honcrs Detbler
was a.nan of strong heart and nerve. He
used to boast that in his service to society
he had never met with mishap, tho at
one execution at Nancy he came near
bungling, owing to the violent struggles
of the criminal. 1t was said Of Deibler
that he exercised a strange, almost super
VlCCllll,
and 1t rarely happened that he met with
any resistance. Deiblers tool of trade
was Of course, the guillotine, the scissors
of fate that have shipped off so many
Gallo heads in the last $50 years.
If 1T came to a choice between execution
by hanging, electrocution, shooting or the
gu1llotlne. most of us would prefer the
latter. 1t is certain and sure and reaches
vital spot without annoying delay.
The Spring Grove Herald the other day
had romance tucked away in its local
columns that really deserved a "scare''
with red ink on the heaGfnes John
Gran of Spring Grove was at st. Paul last
week and while attending the services OF
the Norwegian Lutheran church met 4
friend whose whereabouts has been un-
known for over ten years, and whom his
many relatives and friends have for a
long time supposed dead. This man is
Paul Johnson, once a resident Of Jeffer-
son. Twelve years ago he left that coun-
ty together with his wife and two sons
and settled in Yellow Medicine county
johnson had lived there about a year
when his wife died. Grieving over his
loss. he became temporarily insane and
was committed to the asylum at st. Peter.
from which institution he escaped a short
time after his commitment. According to
his statement, when he made his escape,
he was for three days without food, dur
ing which time he was fleeing from the
asylum on steady run. At the end of
the third day he became exhausted and
was picked up from the roadside by a
farmer, who took him to his home
b Here he was kindly treated and re-
manned for six years, after which he went
to st. Paul. where he has been the past
four years in charge Of a heating plant in
Catholic convent. During all this time
he has been going under all assumed
name, and not even his two sons have
known where he was or that he was alive.
Mr.. Gran recognized him and went up
and spoke to him and Mr.. Johnson be-.
came SO cverjoyed at meeting an old &C
quafntance that he was induced to tell
his unknown history. Mr.. Gran received
Mr.. Johnsons consent to notify his sons
that he was alive and we'll, and it is likely
that a. joyous family reunion will soon
take place. Novelists should cut this story
out and place it in their scrapbooks
"A. ]. R.