The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-10-09

eat them all the walters would thfnk he was tenderfoot and so he started in. The first oyster was as biz as a' calf's liver. and nobody but sword swallower could ever have got 1t down. Dad cut one oyster into quarters and got away with 1t. and after awhile het murdered another, and after he had eaten three he wanted to go home ana leave them. Then is the time his little boy got in his work. I told dad if he didn't eat all the oysters the waiterd and the people would mob him, that ie was deadly offensc to order oysterk and not eat them, and that they would probably kill us both before we got ou4 of the place. He said: Hennery, II don't like oysters like used to. and, 1t seems to me I couldn't eat anotherl one to save my life, but if. as you say.I we are in a country where mans lffa is held so cheapiy. by the great horn. spoon, l will eat every oyster in the house, and the Lord have mercy on me- I told him that was about tho size of 1t. and he would eat or die. and { maybe he would die anyway, and just i,
 then wicked-iooking negro with a big oyster knife came to the table and looked ugly at dad and said: Yes,ss and then he began to eat as though his i, life depended on 1t, and could hear the great wads of oysters strike wfthi 6 dull thud on exposed places inside Of dad, and before he got up from thof table he had eaten them all. and he told the man he would be in again to lunch after awhile. Dad is the hravest man I ever saw. and don't you forget 1t. He would have come out all right, sup-l pose. and lived. if 1t hadn't been for his devilish morbid appetite for travel and adventure. Quick as we got out ofi the oyster place dad wanted to take a steamboat ride down the river to the Eads jetties at the mouth of the river, and we went on board. and had nica ride down to the mouth. After we had looked over the jettiee, where Eads made an artificial canal big enough for the largest ocean steamers to come uu to New Orleans. the passengers wanted the captain to run the boat outside the bar into the blue ocean, where tha waves come from. Gee, but hope [ may live long enough to forget the ride. We hadn't got boats length outside the bar before the boat began to roll and toss. and held on to dads him my little tummy ached. and wanted e lemon. Dad said my iittlg tummy, with it's three oysters in 1t. was not worth mentioning. and told ms to look at him. Talk about your Mount Pelee and your vesuvius. those volca- noes were tame and uninteresting com pared to dad. leaning over the railing, and shouting words at the sharks in the water. Why. he just doubled up like jackknife one minute and then straightened up like an elephant stand ing on his hind legs in a circus the next minute, and he kept saying: Ye- up. and all the passengers said: Poor man. I told them he was not so poor. for he owned a brewery at home. Dad 4. -S- ..~sAL III and head over the rail, and his body hanging limp on the deck. The boat turned around and went back into the mouth of the river and the passengers were thanking the captain for giving them such lovely ride, when thought would wake dad up, and so touched him on the shoulder and asked him if he didn't want few dozen
 more raw oysters. and he yelled mur- der. and began to have hydrophobia again. and hump himself, you know. the way people do when they are dis satisfied with the medicine the doctor gives. Well. we got back to New Or leans, and dad took a hack to the hotel, and told the driver not to pass any saloon where there were oyster shells on the sidewalk. We came home next day. Well. guess will get my snake out of the icebox. and see If he notices the snake. Just then there was a sound as if house had fallen. a 20U- pound cake of fee struck the floor and the Irishman came running through the grocery with his ice tongs waving. and yelling: There's a rattlesnake in yer icebox. mister. and ye can go to h--l for yer ice" The groceryman looked at the boy. the boy looked at the groceryman. the cat looked at both. the boy took his snake under his arm and went out. and the old man said:
 Well, you're the limit Call again, and bring your anaconda. and man- eating tiger" and he went ana scraped up the ice.