The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-06-10

You Know rHat you're a CHRISTIAN Science
littie 5os that there's no such thing as
pain. and that Ct would BE useless Tor the
scat a. try TO hurt yong Don sou Aho"
yes. walled the doubting believer be-
tween his sobs. ~ know fl. ANA YOU know
it. bur the goat don't know t-
Not long ago Eddie. Toy. one Of tHs
principal comedians in 'litt, FaIE Foltl
al the Casino was presented TO a i1oy
prominent in New York Religious and
charitable enterprises She declared her-
self happy 90 meet the man VINO haQ
made sucn q display of true herolsm az
The actor bowed. biushed and backed
away gracefully
But stay. stay, Mr.. Foy' she cried.
They tel me you are very clever per-
former. ] think after you have proved
yourself such brave man. you must also
be a g0Od one, ana I would take tie chill
dren 10 see YOU az the Casino had I not
heard that the entertainment is a cock
tail,
Bring your children and ten them not Co
look al anyone but me. You see. madam.
Z am the Temperance ingredient in the
decoction. III the cherry.
This is what truly happened at a public
library in Virginia, says the Reader
Coed mawn. ma'am! You ali eot
Ella Wheelah WlicoXs Poems or Pleas
uahT
why. no. we haven't. Uncle John.
said the librarian. ap0l0geticaiIy 'AA1
haven't copy OF that in the library.
What else would you llke3
'Ihank ee. ma am You All go- E.lA
Wheelah Wilcox Poems Of Passion
NO. We haven't that, either Uncle
''W-x-w-eu. then, give me Gibbons
A. Mr. Walter Page and Mr. Nathaniel
Shaler point out. there IS no need Of
fearing that "oUr neighbor' VIII not ul-
timately reach the best-or the next thing
90 it.
Professor f. e sIosson, literary edi-
tor OF the Independent, has more than
common interest in the discussion going
on DO current magazines about food adult
ITERATION. When he began his literary
work 30 the far west he was q professor
IN the university OF wyoming, as wen rs
a newspaper writer and state chemist.
In the latter capacity he made a certain
report concerning brand Of baking pow
der Whlcn he did not think uD 90 the
standard, and as a journalist he handed
IL over for publication The manufa1,ur-
ers were much iuceused to think that
any newspaper would print the article,
and denied some of the statements made.
The professor stood the criticism up to
certain point. Then he asked the pro-
prleTOr Of the newspaper on which ne was
employed 10 accompany him 10 the office
Of the company that had been offended
By his analysis.
Take these cards 70 the representa-
tive. said the professor, sending ln two
pasteboards. one as representative Of The
paper and the other as state chemist.
Very soon the agent appeared and
blandly remarked
well there isn't much 90 be said. pro-
fessOr. Being as you are both chemist
and newspaper man y guess you have ms
on the hip. You're the sort of fellow
that fixes Jour jury before you plead your
case.
A little colored girl entered down
town drug store the other day, saws the
Philadelphia Record. "Please. sun. Ah
wants some dye" Dye, en-? What kind
of dyer asked the clerk de mos fash
kim. kind2 DO you want i for the hair.
color do you want2" My NAV done tole
me to git De mos faEnernable kind
"Well, what do you want it for2' "Siclz
stummlck-' Sick stomach never
heard Of such a thing. / guess you've
/ dye Yes, sun You see. sub, my nav
done git sick TO her stummiCk- an de doc
tab tole her she have to diet.'
Speaker Cannon anticipated the point
Of a joke which Senator DepeW was con-
trlbuting at a recent dinner. and tho vic
I'm, IN good nature, threatened retalla-
Il viii give you chance" observed
/ the speaker. accepting the spirit of the
I Jest Perhaps you have heard how the
Arkansas were discovered
i viii guess it before you finish chal-
I lenged the senator.
That is lust what I thought at the
{ time / heard the story nodded Mr.. Can
/ non. II obtained il from native OF the
district Tt seems that the advance guard
/ of civilization in the Arkansas wilder
I ness was a trapper with the usual dog
: One day a bear save chase 10 the dos
and the fugitive lost his tail. i'm his
flight the dog CHANGED 10 dash through
( a pool OF the hot water formed by an adj
/ jacent sprins. and ---
My cue. laughed Senator DepeW, lI-
[ terrupting. 'Ihe next day "a new tail
/ grew on the DOG and the springs were
discovered.
'.No." laughed the speaker. soIemuly.
THE owner of the dog killed it by poor
aim while shooting at the bear. The dog
/ tail dropped. from the jaws Of the. bear
"A dog grew on the taiI?" suggested
/ Mr.. Depsw.
you win" admitted the speaker.
An English journal has related tho
! amusing experience OF TIE sculptor Mr-
IT. W POmerOy with Scotch committee
Wnicn came 20 ms studio 20 inspect DIS
model Of a statue of Robert Burns exc
euted for the town of Paisley, famous
! for Paisley shawls, Paisley thread, Pals
/ ley pinks and Paisley snuff
/ One Of the committeeman was q rich
and influential merchant I'm whose gift
/ lay the site most desirable for the cree
/ ton OF the statue, and the artist natural
! ~ was DESTROYS that IL should please
him. The poet was represented as a.
ploWman, standing with his hands 10 the
I pillow. In order 20 fill a gap al the back
OF the composition the national emblem
/ Of Scotland had been Introduced
] j ne VIZ my d--l-S7e etil -1tlA u. va i-AH
I work for some time i'm silence and then
I in broad Scots requested the sculptor 20
I ''Tur-rn it rOond. mon Mr- PomeroE
I did so. and expressed q hope that he
I was pleased.
''I',ir-rn it roond, mon" said the mer-
/ chant again.
/ Again Mr.. POmeTOy complied and again
/ tried TO elicit am opinion. Meanwhile the
I critic quite ignoring Burns stood with
/ his eyes riveted upon the emblematic de-
\ tail.
'sThe Scoatch thustle.' ne broke out at
/ last Mon, but we've put an awful lot
Z o thOcht intae iti'
/ The thoughtful thistle as the artist
/ afterward termed it, Won the day and
/ the site