davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06
What The Market Affords.

M ANY people find almost indispensable part of
" their breakfast if it is to be reshed freshness is
essential Of rshabe eggs and few would hesitate pay
premium order to this It is altogether possible
perfectly fresh in midwnter by buying
stamped These have printed them in indelbe stem
Gil the date they laid They gotten market within
day and all requirements except those calling
for newad eggs which only hope to have by keep
ing chickens These stamped eggs fetch only about
above the market price for ordinary eggs and they we'll
worth it for using on the table.
Another breakfast dish whose use Americans have
learned from English and other European cousins in fnnan
hadde. This is good broed, steamed boiled. It
sailed and sells for 10 cents pound each fish weighing from
two pounds For cooking, sailed Norway herring
IL cents much liked These treated about the
mackere They may be soaked in water in
milk for few hours to draw out the salt Smoked behring's
nice broed and German people make them into variety
Of salads and other dishes Both salted and smoked
are to be had in market and both delicious
broied The smoked salmon should have boiling water
poured it and be kept for twenty-five minutes be-
fore drying and brong The sailed fish needs soaking
night. +. :.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06
WANTED. HER STAMPS.

n FHE day after the rule into effect that each free
O1 pass into theater must have stamp showing that
the holder had paid To- cents toward the actors fund.- we'll
known actress presented passes at the boxce Of the Har
lem operahouse and handed with them 20 cents for
stamps, which she received The next in line fash
onaby woman who had watched the proceedings
with interest She bought seats and after receiving her
changes still fingered The treasurer asked politely:
gave you your change, did not?"
~ Eyes, she said, I got my change but don't propose
to be cheated Iswant my trading stamps Francisco
Argopant. ss - p ,cy -. ~. .u...
IlaI@"'< - KINDNESS misunderstood. - As
II WAS city clergyman, who tried to be kind, tho
never relaxing dignity One of his flock had gone to
Merose to act @ servant and meeting her by chance
in Subway he took occasion to inquire for her welfare
-.s"Wel, Maggie he said, Show do you like your
place? q; 49,. go re- -. ....> -. S@.~>'":
She allowed was good one, but she was very lonely
wherea the kind clergyman said "Ah, sometimes go
Merose to the Y. M G. A. When next do So must try
and find time for a call on you ~.
The girl look scared and exclaimed: "Oh, no. you
mustn't do that, for my missus don't allow followers;
but 5you like to- come quietike to the back door
evening" I'll try and let in thru the window boston
Home Journal. x}euPa. u7nqe 9@44 y ,.. * 4:r+.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06
What Women Want to Ku0au.

A FTERNOON TEA INVITATIONS-Does invitation
~ to afternoon tea require acknowledgement live
iii small and have few formal parties that
us.-Mrs. J. W.
invitation afternoon tea does not require either
acceptance REFUSAL but the day Of the function if
you able to attend mail your visiting card will
arrive between the hours mentioned in the invitation If
you leave your card in the hail. for each person
named the invitation One may arrive at any time be-
tween hours designated If the only member Of
your family to attend but others have been invited leave
their cards with On entering the greet
After conversng with friends few moments
proceed the dningroom and then take departure
without attempting say farewell to those receiving
8 <Sr QUESTION FOR TOMORROW.
RAFFIA-What rafia, and where does it from7
have made baskets Of it but ashamed do not
know what 1T isl Ethel .
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06
PREMISES WE'RE FAULTY.

LID students of Professor Jebb the famous classical
~ scholar Of Cambridge laugh certain lecture
delivered by their mentor under that in which the
late Professor Veitch also exounding important prc
pies and driving home his points with humping upon
his desk At last down from the ceiling upon Professor
Jebb's head fell piece of plaster.
Professor Veitchs premises do not appear support
his conclusions was his lightning comment before grayely
passing with his discourse.
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06

the stable: O4rseoach
man-his names Il 81: 8 John
says tha at; Tiger has
kind !. feelings, toward
me, but he e isn't used
to little girls, and he
might bite if I went
too near, SO I don't
Mariana stopped
suddenly. She saw i'm
suddenly. She saw
whittier " the con-
versation was. tend
saying 9; anything that
wasn't polite, - '~~ she
added h:]>aGz 81 G,,y&
- Boilers eyes twin
'kled. He found the
child diverting. "You
implied that I was a
little like. old Tiger,
that was ALL, -
Mariana flushed, but
continued to look at
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06
journals Daily Puzzle
WHICH PLAN WOULD YOU TAKE?

Uncle Russell was feeling generous
the other day, SO he said to his mana
ger: tHenry, I have determined to
raise your salary 800 every year. Be
ginning from today, for the ensuing
year you will be paid weekly at the
rate Of 5000 year; next year at tho
rate Of $500, the next at $500 and SO
on, always increasing 800 per year,
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06

swoop and gathered the child into his
arms. "'Now, sit on my knee and tell
me all about everything
Mariana looked at him with slowly
dawning expression Of delight. "Why,
Uncle William, I believe we're going to
like each other after all, J" she said
When Mrs. Bolter- returned from a
protracted talk at the telephone she
found her small guest: asleep in heIsl
bands arms. He held her tight and vas
at the same time trying laboriously TO
read the price of May wheat at arm s
length.
"I'm sorry the child's bothering
you," Mrs. Bolter exclaimed, hurriedly.
IT didn' It think she would go near you. !"
"Well, had hard enough time get
ting her here, Bolter responded: "You
gave me a nice character as family og
first she seemed to think. that I ate SIN
finally won her over,'' and he smiled a.
trinmnh
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06

horse I like children and mountains at Co.. -
a distance. " .." = .,~ 49,. . . 80. -. IM5
"I'n see that the child doesn't bother lfEE
you,' Mrs. Bolter returned: "But she's Bfo$
my niece's child, and I can't very we'll r.
tell them that she ism It welcome Z" aTI
"Oh, she's welcome if she keeps her
distance,' Bolter said. ~. IL
The child, Mariana, arrived that after IL
noon.~ She was rosy, serious-eyed,
small person, who listened quietly while |
Mrs. Bolter explained that while "Uncle
William" had kindly feelings toward
little girls he did not care to visit with II
them at close range. = ::s% IL
~ s'pose he's like our dog, Tiger" lis
observed Mariana, thoughtfully. "Our +
coachman says he's kind dog and r
means WE'LL but he ism It used to children,
so he might bite if I went near his ken 49,
nel.'' ~~... ~
Mrs. Bolter smiled and changed the sub
When Bolter came home to dinner Ma
duced to him. She made quaint little cur
the room and then turned to visit with the
When dinner was over they all went i
Mrs. Bolter presently was called to the telep
Bolter put down the financial page of h
at last and looked toward Mariana, who hat
corner. "'Why don't you come up to the Ii
"Oh, I don't want to trouble you,' thu
not stirring.
II don It bite, said Bolter. g..
"That's what our coachman says about
the child returned.
"Who is Tiger?''
Mariana folded her small hands in he
didn't mean to talk to you; but it ISM pol
questions, is it9 Tiger is our dog, He. lives
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06

replied grateful it make the
basis of 5000
continue
pencil: alike in this problem.
a queion
fmathe
y1nemb family
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06

full Wel Auny Bolter said you had kind feelings
for but that must not bother you by talking stay
ing around you and then said it like what John
about Tiger Of course can't help being little girl
don't like little girls close to you and stay
here where---''
Bolter looked at the SMALL valiant figure ''But do
like little girls = he said: .&.:
cat distance, Mariana corrected, gravely.
''No right here close to my heart, Bolter made
The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-12-06
EQUAL TO THE OCCASION.

4 YOUNG woman popular in society astonished not
n long since to receive from of her acquaintance
invitation couched in the following remarkable terms
" Mr.. Dash presents his compliments to Miss
.".:* Blank, and requests the pleasure Of her
spany at the theater Monday evening next.
Trusting that may receive early and IA
:vorable response to the foregoing proposition,
49, 1--WE remain very respectfully yours,
:.:"a~ -, Dash & Co. (Inc.)
The writer, may be added, is the junior partner
large had evidently COMPOUNDED his
business and his social correspondence The young woman
however, evidently appreciated the situation
The. young man day two afterward amazed to
receive the following reply, ..... :~.>
as' Messrs Dash & Co.: Your favor Of 18th
inst. duly received and contents noted. In
>~" ply would say that accept the proposition
therein made and hold the goods subject to yr.
further instructions. Very truly yours,
=. 10. Miss Blank & Co.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04

forth to the world that a knock kneed.
lOp shouldeTed or cross eyed man can't
get fair show in this community. but
I'm bound that no such critter shall
come in here and dim the prestige OF
our fOrefathers
cit is reckone-l that Tom can be q
mile away at the end of the next fifteen
minutes if he gets the right sort of &
hump on him, and if he is wise he will
now hump
Mr.. MacLarney lost no time He
seemed to realize the enormity of his
Offense TO the full, and he upset two
Cinnamon and dog as he left the
courtroom. When he had disappeared
his honor drew long breath and re-
sumed:
"As Tom didn't have any money.
and as it is known that Joe has 50. the
costs will be assessed on the defendant.
J amt sayin' that the supreme court
might not Overturn my decision. but
I'm BASIN it on two things.
in the fust place, he hadn't orter
kept on runnin' and let that flour drib-
bic out, and in the next he orter have
brought the bag to me to be kept for
the owner. Bags of flour belong to
somebody, and even if lost by China
man there is a law in the case.
Joe, you may go, but in future You
look out a little. This court has its eye
on you, and if you make another false
move the law will step in in its majesty
and tie you up in hard knots
That's all today, and. bein' that ies-
tice is righted and dignity satisfied
well adjourn court ana resume the
business of pushin' progress up hill"
NJ. QUAD.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04
Judging. From the Sample.

A congressman who thought that one
of the great national parties was trying
too hard to find an issue when there
was no issue in sight rebuked his OPP
ponents by telling this story:
"a client of mine has large family,
and accordingly is rather pressed for
money. He came to me joyfully one
day, declaring that he had found oil
flowing from spring on his land and
bringing me a sample.
"The bottle he brought was one
which he had picked up in a hurry
somewhere about the house. l for
warded it to an expert chemist, and
my client and l waited with a good
deal of interest for his report of the
analysis. In day or two we got this
telegram:
"'Find no trace of oil. Your friend
has struck paregoric'"
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04
Justice at
Sandy Bend
How Dispute as to the Ownership Of q
Bag Of Flour Was Disposed
Of by Judge Hoke.
"~~HIs court bein' now open 70

"T@HIS court bein' now open for
the dispensin' of jestice."
said Judge Hoke. as he rap
ped for order and assumed
a judicial dignity, I'VE will trot out
the case of Tom MacLarney versus Joe
Hazard.
There is nOthin in the case that
this court can't settle without the help
of lawyers. Both parties are purity
well known in Sandy Bend. Tom
MacLarney was born cross eyed
baby. He grew up cross eyed kid
His eyes was on the squint when he
cast his fust vote and wore gun for
the fust time, and they hain't improved
since. He's bin told on numerous Oc-
casiOns that his eyes were out of
plumb, but he never would believe it
till the other day.
"JOe Hazard is a sort of fifteen cent
critter who has bin hangin' about
Sandy Bend, Rocky Reef, Yaller Flats
and other places for the last five years
without cOmmittin' any offense for
which he could be hung. Inevcr heard
of his askin' a man TO drink. and
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04
Scared the Princes.

Years ago four New Zealand Princes
visited England. A friendly English
man entertained them at lunch The
four princes ate fourteen pounds of
roast beef and promised to tattoo the
face of their host in return for his kind
ness The after proceedings We're equal
ly felicitous until the master of the
house produced a case of stuffed liz
ards. With shrieks and yells the war
riors rushed from the house like deer,
leaped the wall of the garden and
those Of adjoining ones. A drawing
room window was open. Shrieking in
fear and Indignation, they made for
this and at a bound were through it.
There sat an elderly lady knitting
stockings She was frightened nearly
out of her wits by the invasion. The
terrified princes had never before seen
anything like that which had alarmed
them. The lizards simply represented
devils to them, and they were anxious
not to remain in such company.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04

Goodby, summer shirt, forever;
l must send thee to be tubbed,
To be rent and torn a-sever
When the laundryman has scrubbed,
Where to pulpy shapes and faced
eFiends will rip you with a scream.
When they've sprinkled you with acid
And have wrung you out by steam.
They will tear you in your anguish
Through cloth destroying press,
Gummed with starch and left to langulsh
In unmerited distress
Till your fabric, ripped and rotten,
Shrinks obedient to their skill,
And you're left as one forgotten
Out remembered in the bilD
Time there was when grandpa's daughter
Ignorant of cleansing dope.
Put her simple faith in water
Highly fortified with soap
Shirts Elysium, vainly pondered!
Soap is vanished, hope is squashed,
in an age where shirts are ''laundered"
In the place Of being washed.
Wallace Irwin in New York Globe
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04
Hot Weather Yarn.

"There | was Il mile from the camo.
my rifle useless, the giant bear behind
me and the field of ice ahead"
Naturally you ran"
Il did. Across the slippery ice
dashed. the bear gaining on me mt ev-
cry stride. l felt its hot breath on my
neck. l felt its great paw upon my
shoulder. Suddenly l came to the eQGe
of the ice pack. Ten feet out from the
edge was a floating cake"
"YOu jumped!
"For my life. l gained the ice cake
safely. | turned around. The bear
had stepped back. With a running
start it leapt across the open water
and we were. bear and man. adrift OH
a ten foot ice foe in the middle of the
Arctic ocean. l had no weapon. not
even a penknife The savage animal
came on. its eyes flashing. its growls
shaking the air like thunder. Just
them
"Just then?"
"The bear froze to death "-Balti-
more American.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04
EARLY Ideas AhOut Hair.

All the ancient philosophers held Gu
rious ideas respecting the growth, func-
tons, structure, etc, of the hair and
had many superstitions founded on
these old opinions. The early writer's
on the makeup of the human body al
most invariably refer to the hair as be-
ing an excrement fed on substances
similar to ITSELF They supposed that
it generated in the fuliginous parts of
the blood, was exhaled by the heat of
the body, becoming firm and fibrous
upon being exposed to the air, just as
the fluid of the spider web does. In
these days every idea respecting the
growth and character of hair is
changed 1t is now agreed that every
hair properly and truly lives and re-
ceives its nutriment from the body
True, they take upon themselves the
nature of parasitic plants. They grow
as vegetation does, yet each has, as it
weresa distinct life and economy. That
they derive their existence from the
juices of the body there is no doubt,
but that food is not taken from the
nutritious juices for we know that hair
will thrive even though the body starve
or be wasted by disease, or even after
the animal life has ceased to exist in
the flesh or skin to which it is at
tached
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04

HE entered the department store
- And asked that he be shown
a. The route to reach the clOthius
floor.
Then he would go alone.
The courteous fioorwalker then said:
Three aisles across. then down
Four aisles, you then keep straI=il:
ahead"
The man began to frown.
you take the elevator then"
The floor man next observed
Get off the car at Number Ten
(The man was quite unnerved)
Across four aisles, and then you turn
Six counters to your right;
Look to the left and you'll discern
A distant ruby light
Pass under that. and then you're near
The clothing stock you wish"
The man cried out: 81 cannot hear!
You gable like a fish.
1 never heard such silly talk;
You're having sport with me
Your ocular designs I'll balk-
I'll make complaint. You'll sect
The courteous floorwalker bowed
And said: Turn to the right.
Go down the aisle until the shroud
Department comes in sight:
From there just thirteen aisles you ira ce
Until you reach the paints
Beside them is desk-the place
Where you may make complaints"
w. d. Nesbit in New York Life.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04

''LoOk here" said the irate man who
had purchased lot, sight unseen" in
FrogmOre, the newest residence suburb.
''I've been swindled. and I'll have the
law on you"
'What now" asked the imperturb-
able boomer.
''There isn't house within a. mile OF
the lot bought
"Well, who said there was?"
"You, sir-you did,
"Why, my dear sir, you must be
dreaming. | said nothing of the sort"
Didn't l ask you if there were any
residences close by"
Il believe you did"
"And didn't you answer Just LOTS? ="
Eyes"
"Well, don't you call that mis-
representation"
Certainly not. Isn't that what you
found around there-just lots% BAL
timore American.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04


excess, ALLOW myself but three cigars
day and never play over a ten cent
limit 1t can't be money, either
mo; it's not money" she said.
"Must be I'm stupid. them
IF you were stupid" she said, 81
think perhaps l might forgive you"
81 confess I'm in the dark" he said.
"Kindly show me the vulnerable point
in my armor of virtue"
"Iou have everything in the world
to live for she said severely. You
start life with a big handicap in your
favor, but all your qualities are mega
tive. You don't do anything"
pretty clever with a boat" he re-
minded her. PLAY fair game of
polo
Anything useful?' she FASTENED to
amend.
Il see" he said and for several mo-
ments gazed abstractedly at the ceiling.
I'D like to take exceptions to your last
statement" he said at length. 1T
seems to me | am doing the most use
full thing in the world for a man in my
position. l have plenty of money, and
instead Of crowding out some poor duff
fer who really needs that commodity
l keep out of it and give him a show"
Her eyes flashed. What a lame exr
cuse," she said.
May be trife spawned" lie agreed
cheerfully.
81 was going to say it was coward
ly," she said.
'Oh, well, if it's that I'll join the
'doers' at once" he drawled. LETS see;
law is what l was trained for, but l
fear my legal ability has a fine coat
Of rust by this time"
There are other fields" she remind
ed him.
He rose and stood before her look
ing down at her flushed face.
IF l do something useful - some
thing really useful-do 1 VIM" he said
tensely.
Eyes" she said, studying the toe of
her shoe.
every well, them" he affirmed.
you'd better decide whether it's Italy
or southern California. Goodby"
A moment later the outer door bang
ed, and the usefulness of Frederick
had begun.
He did not come to see her the fol
lowing day nor the next. In fact, a
week passed before she saw him again,
and then it was quite by accident She
was walking down the avenue one
morning. and when she had reached
DIR. Lawrence's house a well known
voice called, Hello, Ethelr'
She turned but he was not behind
her. Then she looked up and beheld
him standing on the ledge outside a
second story window. He was clad in
faded blue overalls, and in one hand
was a sponge, while the other held a
polishing cloth.
Begun at the bottom of the ladder,
you seer' he called down .cheerfully.
doc says if I'm faithful to the win
dows and the brass knobs 1 may rise
to be gardener. You'll kindly observe
my occupation Is useful"
She made no reply, but walked down
the avenue, the angry color mounting
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04
Frederick'S
LdbOrS
By SIDNEY HODGES COLE
Copyright, 1901, by u. Wood

Mr. Frederick Brigham leaned for
ward in his chair, his brows drawn in
a frown of perplexed anxiety.
surely, Ethel" he said in his de
liberate drawl. my ears have deceived
me-"
The girls eyes met his own square
ly Her face expressed very plainly
her disapproval.
Il think you have no cause to COM
plain of defective hearing" she said
stiffly.
you don't mean what you have just
said?" he asserted.
Il most certainly do mean it, she
averred.
81 never doubted for moment you
would marry me-" said he. Il always
Supposed
"Suppositions are not sureties.' she
Informed him.
Ethel" he said coaxingly, this has
gone far enough as joke. It's get
ting to the point where it hurts
I'm sorry it hurts, but it isn't a
joke Frederick" she said
He stared at her in amazement and
rumpled his hair thoughtfully with one
hand.
I'm Il pretty steady going sort" he
said, half to himself Don't drink to
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-08-04
Announcements of Reduced Fares
Authorized via B. 6 o. R.R.,i
Summer SeasOn-I0A4.

ATLANTIC CITY AND SEASHORE:
Special Low Rate Excursions
from all points east of the Ohio
River on June Both, July 18th and
18th, August 18th and 25th. and
September 6th.
BOSTON. MASS:
National Encampment, g. A. R.,
August 15-20 One fare for the
round trip. Tickets on sale Au-
gust 18th to 18th, good return
ing August Goth, inclusive
LOUISVILLE, KY:
Knights of Pythias, Biennial Ell
campment, August 1919 One
fare plus $1.00 for the round trip.
Tickets on sale August 18th, 18th,
18th and 18th, good returning I'M
til August 31st, inclusive.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL:
Triennial Conclave, Knights
Templar. September SO. One
fare for the round trip to Chicago
or st, Louis added to fares ten
dered therefrom Chicago 5000:
st. Louis $3.50 Dates of sale
to be announced later.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL:
Sovereign Grand Lodge. |. 0. O.
F. September 1926. One fare
for the round trip to Chicago or
st. Louis added to fares rendered
therefrom Chicago $4,000: St.
Louis $3.50. Dates of sale to be
announced later.
TORONTO. ONT:
Friends General Conference. Au-
gust 1919. One fare plus $500
for the round trip. Tickets on
sale August 9th to 18th, good re-
turning until August 31st, inclu-
sive.
For additional information con
corning rates. routes, time of trains.
etc, call on or address ticket agents
Baltimore & Ohio r. r.