The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1904-01-14
Her First Love
By
ISABEL c. wHIrEHURsT

I you? You are just the listener
want You can be sentimental. l have
seen the tears in your eyes when you
have listened to a tale of distress, and
when you are moved | have seen the
color come and go, and your lips culver,
and / have known that you could feel.
BE quiet, you interrupt me. You say
you are not priest, but man? That if
you sit and listen, and | sit and talk,
some day you may also be found with
arms about me telling me to be faithful.
Absurd We know each other too well,
you and l. You will never again be my
dover, there must be mystery and diff
fculty and reticence for love, and it is
an atmosphere we have emerged from
dong ago. So long ago that have al
most forgotten, and l do not hate you
for that past. No, | do not hate you.
q like you, and l will believe you, and
when | have told you all my story, and
there comes the moment when you will
know why | have told you, will be
guided by you entirely; because what
know you know, only more-for l
know only the men l have loved or
those who have loved me, while you
know men when they do not love, and it
may come to that
! When, where, how shall l begin my
confession to you? Here, 1 will roll
you cigarette, l will light it for you,
see; l will take one myself Sit there,
IN that low chair, that cushion will fit
your back, and through the smoke-rings
you shall see me young again. No!
do not want compliments from you. l
am young still, fair still, Of course; were
I not, you would not listen But the
youth of 80 and the beauty of 80 is not
Ehe youth and beauty that | wish you
to see through the smoke
You have often wondered why l love
Ashbury Park. 1t is because first met
him there. l was barely II then, and
had gone down from my home, my coun-
try home, on the upper Hudson, where
papa was poor Episcopal clergyman,
TO visit my uncle, who had a cottage
there for the season.
l remember it well. We were about
10 start game of tennis, and l had
racket in my hand.
Dolly, dear" said my eldest cousin,
edo you mind not playing this set?
Papa has brought man down with him;
see, they are just getting out of the
coach. He is asthmatic or consumptiVe,
or something, and can't play Talk to
him instead of me, there's good girl"
1 was always amiable; am not amiable
now, dear? l consented, and they be-
gan their game.
This is our little cousin from Oak
ley said my uncle, patting my shoulder
kindly. Dolly, dear, this is Mr.. Bas-
ing; he is little out of sorts. You girls
must cheer him up among you, and you
had better be the first. You are the
quietest, and won't brighten him."
He turned to me, and said, in voice
that had in it musical hoarseness, such
a voice as had never heard before, nor
will again, l think, unless l hear it in
Heaven, for l have listened for it all
my life:
mo; l don't think you will brighten
me-"
He was tall man, very slender, with
q brown beard, and hair so thick it stood
up on either side of the parting quite an
inch above his head. His eyes were
small, deep set, and brown, with a dis
Sant look in them. l can see him now
more distinctly than l can see you. |
have always seen him distinctly. Shall
4 show you his portrait? There it is
BE quiet, be quiet, do not say word;
1t hurts like touch on wound if you
should criticise, if you should even ad-
nire.
IL you dare to laugh I shall hate you;
but, there, you may laugh if you will, it
Is true, all the same. | have been faith
full to HMM my way. But l will put
away the portrait, then l can tell you of
it better.
Salt air sprayed in our faces in those
summer mornings by the long sea walk.
IN the evening the band played, and by
the band it was light, and the crowds
moved hither and thither in the gas.
But,we walked apart from them all, he
and l, between the green hedges hand
in hand. l believe there never was a
love dream like ours. He was dying of
consumption, and half my love was pity,
but he went down so deep in my heart,
and the uprooting left the place so ten
der, | could not bear touch, and so
shut it up, and people say since then l
have no heart
II you ever love a young girl-don't
protest, you are the very man to do it,
with your blue eyes and sensitive lips
If ever you should love such one, then
remember this: If, though she love you,
she does not shrink from you, if, though
she love you, her hand barely presses
yours in return; and her lips culver
and move away under yours; if, though
she love you, she does not shrink from
you and fear you, and she jests when
she would rather cry, and mocks you
when she would rather caress-if she
does none of these things, why, then,
you are deceiving yourself, or she is de-
ceiving you, or both, but she is no young
girl.
:. / was happy when we talked of the
sea; when he quoted poetry to me, and.
with that dear, mild humor of his, made
me relish Bret Harte and Mark Twain.
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