Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-09-23

C1pner the nalf. l did not need to. A spirit of diyination was given me in that awful hour which enabled me to grasp it's full meaning from the few sentences I did pick out And that meaning! 1t was horrible, inconceiv- able. Murder was taught, but murder from distance, and by an act too sim pie to awake revulsion. A step into the empty closet VI ~--ning SD near, an effort with a drawer, a-a-- Do not ask lue to recall it. I did not shudder when the moment came and I stood there. Then 1 was cold as marble. Yet I shall surely take my life before you see me again, and in that old house. If it is despair feel, then despair will take me there. If it is repentance, then repentance will suffice to drive me to the one expiation possible to me-to perish where caused an innocent man to perish and so relieve you of wife who was never worthy of you and whom it would be your duty to de- nounce if she let another sun rise upon her guilt.
 IA message was shouted through the door-the message for which my ears had been strained in dreadful anticipa- f named Pfeiffer wanted to see me be. fore I went down to be married-a man named Pfeifferl
 "I looked closely at the boy who de- livered this message. He showed no excitement nor any feeling greater than impatience at being kept waiting a minute or so at the door. Then glanced beyond him at the people chat ting in the hall No alarm there; noth- ing but very natural surprise that the bride should keep so big crowd waiting. I felt that this fixed the event, He who had sent me this quiet message was true to himself and to our old compact. He had not publish ed below what would have set the house in an uproar in moment. He my ear alone. could recall the mo- ment he passed me his word and his firm look as he said, with his hand lifted to heaven: You have been good to me and given me your precious self while was poor and nobody. Tn re turn swear to keep our marriage secret till great success shows me to be worthy of you or till you with your own lips express forgiveness of my failure and grant me leave to speak. Nothing but death or your permission shall ever unseal my lips.' When I heard that he was dead feared lest he might have spoken, but now that I had seen him alive knew that in no other breast save his, my own and that of the unknown minister in an al yY1na+ 11uIxrnvuY, +rxvx, Hxr1ol4 auv edge of the fact which stood between me and the marriage which all these people had come here to see. My con fdence in his rect1tude determined me. Without conscious emotion, without fear even-the ending of suspense had ended all that-I told the boy to seat the gentleman in the library. Then
 ITO turn and turn miserable crank after those moments of frenzied action and silence-that was the hard part that was what tried my nerve and first robbed me of calmness. But dared snot leave that fearful thing dangling there; had to wind. The machinery squeaked and its noise seemed to fill the house, but no one came nor did the door below open. Sometimes I have wished that 1t had. I should not then have been lured on, and you would not have become involved in my ruin.
 T am afraid to die, but I am more afraid of failing in courage. Ishall have the pistol tied to me; this will make it seem inevitable to use 1t. Oh, that the next twenty four hours could be blot ted out of time! Such horror cannot be. was born for joy and gayety, yet no dismal depth of misery and fear has been spared me! But all on account of my own act. do not accuse God; do not accuse man; only accuse myself and my thoughtless grasping after pleasure.
 q want Cora to read this as we'll as you. She must know me dead as she never knew me living. But cannot tell her that have left confession l behind me. She must come upon it unexpectedly, just as mean you to do. | Only thus can 1t reach either of you with any power. If I could but think | of some excuse for sending her to the book where propose to hide it! That would give her chance of reading it | before you do, and this would be best She may know how to prepare or com | woman but the secret which kept my thoughts in such whirl has held us apart.
 You did what asked. You found place for Raucher's waiter in the vol unteer corps. Surprised as you were at the interest I expressed in him, you honored my first request and said noth- ing. Would you have shown the same anxious eagerness if you had known why whispered those few words to him from the carriage door, why I could neither rest nor sleep till he and the other boy were safely out of town7 ? T must leave line for you to show to people if they wonder why killed myself so soon. after my seemingly happy marriage. You will find it in the same book with this letter. Some one will tell you to look in the book cannot write any more.
 ''I cannot help writing. It is all that connects me now with life and with 1 vnY1 RyYf bava no+I71nc mora +n Sav