The Minneapolis journal., 1904-05-21
THE N0HPAREJL MAN.

Who Has Fallen Nine Stories and Has
Lived to Tell All About Them-Great
Presence Of Mind Shown, During Some
Grand and Lofty TumblIng.
Max Gerth, a house and sign painter in
81. Louis, carries his fingers crossed and
so bears a charmed life. He has had oIiSes oIiSe
fall OF nine stories; one fall Of the equal
or six stories: one fall Of ore story, and
one more, the latest, of four stories In
some way or other his falls have been
broken by ropes. telegraph wires or avn
lngss and Mr.. Gerth has always come out
all right, barring some mighty "scares''
and few minor breakages He told a
reporter about his last tumble in these
words: e, .4ss
was working alone on a stage, four
stories up, at Fourth and Market street.
suddenly l heard q familiar noise. 1T was
that OF a rotten rope parting. The next
instant | was doing a pinwheel act in mid
aid, with paint buckets trying to beat
me to the ground.
y certainly thought it was all off with
me, and I wondered whether I would
break my head, my neck or my back I
hurriedly compared this tumble with the
others had had, and decided that it was
the worst. I, thought Of all my various
experiences in the falling line, and, 1t
struck me as rather disappointing ito be
killed by a little four-story tumble after
getting away safely from more ambitious
drops. g-,s
And then-I saw a frail awning stick
ing out over the sidewalk It was over
little fruit stand. It was almost under.
me. = wondered it. by the time dropped
that far my body would be in such a
position that I could catch at the awning
kicked out and tried to straighten up,
and threw my hands out to catch the
| rim of the awning. . z5ES4
| 1t worked. I was almost head down
when I reached the awning. but caught
1T and it broke the fall. So, instead of a
smashed skull I have only a cracked an
kle and that will be all right
| From this it seems that Mi. .Gerth al
ways had his nerve with him, even when
coming down four stories without the
unnecessary but very comfortable ladder
or stairs Let this be a great lesson to
US all. When falling eight stories, instead
of getting scared to death and remember
ing all about our past lives and how we
i lied to father In 1872, let US keep our
heads about us and watch out for an
awning or a clothesline or even for a
large, f1eshy dog to fall on. When a man
Is about two stories up and reaching for
the ground, express train speed, it is not
/ best to say "Well, good bye, earth: take
care Of yourself It is much better tc
have q hopeful spirit and to say Bring on
i your awning It was this optimistic
4 spirit that saved Mr.. Gerth's life.
st. Louis is mean enough to put arc
lights in the parks, to prevent spooning
Did you ever try an umbrella?
Hedda Gabler has just been pulled of
/ In a. Chicago theater and the critics are
discussing its 'tbasic stonality.''::g. Without
knowing what that is, we hazard the sus-
ptcion that it is very poor this season.
\ The lawns yellow peril-the dandeHon
| If you have the hole in your cellar, It is
better to put in the coal. The octopus i.
talking a $40 per ton price and we sus
pect he is the boy that can do it If he
! feels to-
AZ paper from town which shall bt
nameless here forevernore prints the fol
lowing advertisement which tells itself:
i For the benefit Of the inquistive. also the
meddlesome mother, hereby wish to announce
thru the columns, of the Argus that I am mo-
married, yet, but IT. you will watch 1.-The ,lis
Of marriage licenses in the MINNEAPOLIS e777-5 :
you will know when. to expect the happy eveut
Respectfully. Miss Pearl -- -- : = - = = -
4 Now will mama be good? = $3.50
a Luverne young man got terrific oh
4 ject lesson on the fight Of time. Th
druggist sent in his 2-year-old bill TIL,
q first item was charge for box Of choco
lates.1 On the latter end Of the bill wa
7 a charge for one nursing bottle
J, Mrs. Clancy of Adrian. Mimi, If th
Democrat Of that town may be believed
which is doubtfulin this case. went to tn,
hospital to ask after her husband IT wan
to see my husband,' sez 1.-THE man tha
got blowed up "Yez can't see him." Sc:
the doctor; "he's under the inf1ooence o
Ann Estheticks." II don't know tn
lady" sez +, mighty, dignined- -loike. 'bu
If me lawful, welded husband can ac
loike that when he's gat diths door, II
have the divorce on him. e. .
BY 4 p. m. the telegraph editor Of an af
i ternoen paper gets so waterlogged witt
kai-chaus and kai-pings, and Feng- huang
!, chengs and Pings and ping-pongs an,
bings and bing- -bongs and bon-bons an,
one thirg or another that he rushes ou
to throw a brick thru the first Iaundr,
window. . "A j.. r.