The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-12-27

nR- PETER y-OGLESTEIN."
brains in his head. | don't like to
make you feel bad. but MAYBE you like
to hear of my good luck. Nopody need
worry about me. l tell you in some
condolences dot l yhas going to make
more ash $4,000 in one year"
Tell me how"
"Nhell, | like to wait und surprise
you, but mebbe she vhas all right to
tell you now. Did you hear of dot
funny paper in CheecagoT'
Il don't pellet l did. How vhas she:'
She yhas so funny dot when you
read her you must fall down on der
floor Ha. Ia, haI'
Have you some copy NIT you?"
NO, of course not. y fellow comes
in my place und tells me all aboudt
her. | vhas all alone when he zones
in ind says vhas | Peter VOgleStein.
I vhas. Dot vhas all right. He reads
Of me in der papers. und he comes 1000
miles to see me. He yhas der editor of
dot paper"
'VheIl. 90 on"
What you pellet. eh? He WANTS IT"
TO write for lis paper, und he gifts
me one hoonered dollar Il week. Dot
brings him here. He says | vhas so
funny dot lie must Eaf my SMOKES in
his paper. Shildren cry for EN-"
When vhas you something's funny"
l asked
"I-Gunno. but lot is What he says
10 me. He LIKES some SMOKES right
ry-I,,- r-,I CO ,~;f hin, n,a rliII
speak dose sEOkes to you. und you Will
see how funny dey vhas.
Why vhas Il man who leaves his
TOcketbook under his pillow at home
like Il ship in Il storm? Because his
wife takes out ten dollar before lie
gets back"
"Und vhas dot funny" l says.
''Of course. When | reads dot sho,-e
he laughs till haf to hit him on der
back. Dot makes me laugh too. Ha.
Ia. Ina! Hesr vhas anOdder:
Why should Il man who has eat
some oysters all winter go AWAY from
home in der spring? Because he WANTS
4 change of climate"
Mr.. EOglestein. Will you please go
out?' / says.
What fOr:"
ITO keep me from fainting AWAY"
eff you don't say dot shoke vhas
funny l Will neffer come in your shop
again. he shouts. IF you hat brains
you see how it vhas so queek as light
ming. Dot editor lie falls off his sha:r
when he reads dot shoke. und he says
his readers Will be conwulsed for two
weeks. Here Was n more:
"'VOt vhas dot deeference between
Z man Oop Il tree Und 4 nan down q
hole in der ground? One must core
oop und one must come down Ra,
ha. har'
IND how much you pay dot editor
TO laugh?~ l says.
Pay? Pay? Why should I pay? Do
You pellet I vhas Il foolT'
But don't he want you to cash a
check before he e avhay?"
"Of course not. If he says dot lie
likes me to cash a check take him fer
a fraud. Oh, no. Peter Voglestein
vhas no sunflower-not dis time"
But you lent him money!"
"I-I-vhell. she vhas one hoondred
dollar a week on dot paper, und he
pays her back NIT dot first salary. He
don't say right oudt dot I shall lend
him twenty dollar, but
But he got ft?"
"Vhell, he hat to go back TO Cheeca-
go, don't he? If somepody o pick
his pocket he vhas oil right. He don't
vhant to take dot money, but put her
in his pocket. He yhas so glad dot
see tears in his eyes. 1t vhas VERY
lucky for him dot he finds me. If he
dOn't he hat to go ack to Cheecago by
freight train. Yes, he sheds tears und
shakes my hand und says it shall be
twenty-five dollar when he pays me
back"
"Und when do you write some SMOKES
for one hoonered dollar a week.
Fright AWAY Queek-tonight. shall
go home und write ten SMOKES und put