The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-09-18
STORIES FROM PHILADELPHIA.
In a Chinese Restaurant-Profanity on
 the Links.

From the Quaker City Newspapers.
 Everybody knew that they were strang- CTS when they entered the Chinese res taurant on Race street. The walters had no difficulty in arraiving at the same conclusion. and they watched the four as they sat down. Strangers had a very bad habit of carrying away everything in Chinese restaurant.
 The chop suey was served without any mishap, and the strangers began on the next dish. It came in moment. One of the men placed a teacup in his pocket The waiter stepped up. The man hadn't done it cleverly. He was about as smooth about 1t as an iceman Is when he att tempts to handle a chunk of 300 pounds.
 The waiter started for the teacup. Then he hesitated, for he caught the eye of the host. The latter smiled, and the waiter knew 1t was all right.
 Another member of the party became ambitious about this time. His ambition ran in the direction of chop sticks. and he was another who displayed no cleverness. The only man in the restaurant who didn't see him shove the sticks In his inside pocket was young man who was blind from birth. The waiter started for ward a second time and again received the wink from the host
 The third decided to make it unani- nous. He placed one of the plates in his pocket. Of course, everybody saw it, and the waiter once more moved, but was halted by the host. All had souven- frs by this time and they were ready to leave. The host paid A for chop suey and several dollars more for souvenirs.
 Cheap place to eat, isn't it?'' said one of the men as they started away.
 They give you such fine presents, too," vii gt and he joyfully took them from his pocket.
 Yes. but it's much cheaper to buy them at store' advised the host. You don't ruin your clothes in getting away with them, either"
 There may possibly be fellows who can play golf without the aid of pro- fanity, but there is no authentic record of their existence,' said a member of the Mount Airy Country club. T thought l was about to discover couple last Sun day, but my hopes were shattered. Two young men came out from the city, and, as they were strangers to each other, and neither knew any of the other people around the club house, although both were members, they introduced them selves and started arund the links. One looked like a Sunday school superintend-
 
 was divinity student. They were not exactly experts, In addition to which luck seemed to be decidedly against them They finally made the fourth hole, after various vicissltudes, and then, after a particularly bad drive. the chap who looked like Sunday school superintend- ent ripped out an cath. Then, very red In the face, he turned to the other fellow and said: I beg your pardon.' Good Lord, man, don't apologize. I've been wanting to swear ever since we started, said the other fellow, but didn't dare, because y6u looked as though you might be opposed to it. And for the next hour don't believe the Mount Airy links ever inspired such carnival of profanity as came from these two mild-iocktng young men,
 There is a gravel walk extending through the University of Pennsylvania. grounds from Woodiawn avenue to Spruce street, and Just as the walk ap- preached Houston Hall the-e Is an elec- tric light. mound filled with glowing plants and flowers is directly beneath the light and here, every clear evening, may be seen the picturesque figure of an eld- eriy man reclining at his ease and read ing with the aid of the electric light. His somewhat shabby attire suggests a poor ly lighted room in some cheap and noisy boarding house At any rate, all summer long, he has frequented this same spot every evening, always with a book. and he Is so absorbed In his reading that he pays no attention to those who walk past and who sometiems make audible remarks at his expense. He reads until 10 o'clock. and promptly on the hour closes his book and goes home. 
 The telephone bell in the Morgue rang noisily the other night, and the night clerk hastened to answer 1t. Hello, can you save me two rooms ?" said the voice at the other end Haven't anythir- but small rooms and they're all pretty cold" replied the night clerk.
 That's all right" came the answer. What size slab do you prefer?" was next asked
 Slab? Isn't this the Bellevue?" "No; it's the Morgue."