The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-05-04
THE NONPAREJL MAN
LamentabIe Ignorance In Nebraska Re-
gardlng the Location and Character Of
Wheelock, N. D.-Further Details OF
the oratorIoaI scare-H Heavy Rains Pre-
dIcted for June is.

S Wheelock, NJ. D.-Further Details Of
the oratorIcaI scare-Heavy Rains Pre-
dlcted for June is.
The Nebraska State Journal locates
Wheelock in South Dakota, and guesscs
that the town has one grocery store, two
saloons and a blacksmith shop. The
Nebraska State Journal has another guess
coming. Wheelock- blythe Pump is in
North Dakota and it is as bare Of saloons
as the campus Of a Methodist female
seminary. Some of its inhabitants carry
what is known as the Kentucky hotel din
ner, viz, pistol pocket flask holding a
pint OF damnation, but the majority of
the people drink pumpine.
& The story told in this column several
days ago of various stage rights on the
part OF certain persons when on the point
OF ADDRESSING audiences seems to have
struck popular vein The case cited Of
I'D Howe Of the Atchison Globe, who had
a severe attack while addressing the stu
dents OF the Lawrence (Kan.) university
mas caused much comment in Kansas
You would think that Mr.. Howe, Judging
by his writings, was nervy y enough to
race a Missouri battery Of mules, and SO
ne would be, but before the students he
lost his grip. The Lawrence Gazette
that ever appeared on the university plat
form. The Gazette says:
While he was waiting for the crowd to get in
he mad a little rubber band that he twisted
around IN his fingers and snapped, and his hands
were visibly agitated. His lips got white and
his skin became pale yellow hue, while he had
10 get brace on each side of his voice to keep it
from shaking. His ratified condition cut of the
speech chancellor Strong was going to make.
number of popular speakers have
confessed that haN ,,,;e,o
an audience without trepidation You
would not think, to see G. L. Morrill, leap
lightly to his feet and tear off yards and
yards OF diction, that he was badly fright
ened. Perhaps he isn't. He never told
us he was
We were once induced by loving but
misguided friend to read paper before
literary club Of this city. The club was
having a Walt Whitman Conversations.
and we were asked to touch lightly on
what some of Waits disciples believe was
Kind Of spiritual illumination that the
good gray poet was supposed to have had
at the age of 35 or whereabouts We
arose and talked learnedly and luminous
ly OF 'subliminal uprushes,'' subjective
telepatnlc hallucinations" and the like.
When we noticed by the expressions on
the faces of the gay throng that thew.
We're deeply and permanently convinced
| that we were talking ''bughouse. When
we saw that the club didn't have any
more confidence in .subliminal uprushes"
than 1t did in the national constitution
| OF Patagonia, but was too polite to throw
| ,hlngs or TO moot we got a scare that
| lasted about two weeks. Yet, what wa $
| there to be afraid Of? You may search lis |,
why the golf enthusiasts will spend sew
eral hours chasing the pill across the turf
When there are gardens to make and
pups 10 put IN is what gets us.
/ Farmers are rushing in their seed wheat
SO as to get it in before the drouth.
The Grocers' picnic is set for June Is,
Looking up Hicks Almanac, we note the
following entry: "T
! June 15-Storns, Rain, Floods Ioo,,
out for severe and long continued thun-
der storms and cloudbursts about this
time in northern ATTITUDES.
Aha!
VIII Chamberlain says that Hicks and
MS Guide to, Storms have been losing
| prestige on the prairie Of late. "People
are beginning to wonder if Hicks die
really carry the weather around In his
vest pocket next, to his testament. And
with the subsistence. of Hicks, the fear
OF furious 'whirlers seems to be diving ont
Perhaps, after all. it was the tremendous
r.
nlshed much of the horror. The old #.
m1liar face of the reverend prophet hold
ing out his finger in the direction of a
brewing dragon of the skies, is missed. .
| 1t would indeed be a great advantage il
1 one could locate his tornado saw civ
months before it swooped down on him
Yet Hicks Is by no means out of vogue
yet. He has prophesied dry and drouthy
summer and a whole lot of people are
still holding little jag of wheat back on
! the strength of it and waiting for the
dust to begin to blow on the plains.
A bit Of rubber pavement near Bucking-
ham palace in England has proven so sat
/ isfactory that it has been suggested tina
London might be made a noiseless and
comfortable city by laying rubber streets
| everywhere. The roar of the city would
murmur But the price is prohibitiye
The material costs about SIS a yard laid
on the street. not counting the offer
i aldermanic killing"
/ Pop" Merrick the lamented nara
grapher OF the Washington Post, was moi
much OF a talker, but he had by his news.
paper work acquired the reputation Of be-
ing very brilliant person. lie was fire.
| quently asked to dinners and receptions
in Washington for the express purpose Of
having him scintillate. But he couldn'1
4 seem 70 SlltLeF on demand. At one re
ception all conversation turned toward
him in the hope that he might make some
! bright remark. He did not and finally
his hostess came to him and said:
/ Mr.. Merrick, we thought YOU nigh,
say something bright, but you haven
said a word tonight, hardly
4 Madam Merrick replied haughfilv
your father is a dentist. Does he pul
4 teeth at receptions?'
i Business is business and pleasure i.
pleasure. - =
! A genius for mechanics who has beer
! investigating the insides Of slot machine.
finds that they are plugged SO it is i'm
possible to win on the high numbers AM
| that there is only q rare and faint thanc,
on the smaller dividends In other words
the slot machine is plugged against fl,
3 player and the only way to beat it Is t,
leave it entirely alone "A man indeed
would be chunp to make a machine +,
do himself up with. Men who are play
ing the slot machines for cigars are con
tributing nickels enough to raise dali,
! monument to Asininity as big as tn,
i New York harbor Liberty" statue.
"A. ]. r.
NoRsk NIGHTINGALE's up. REVERE,
!. Milwaukee Sentinel.
Listen, Christina. and yu skol hear
Bout midnight ride Of Paul Revere
!. Seventeen hundred seventy five,
Hardly geezer ban now alive
1svv1