davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
Bowser's Remedy
He Gets Up Mixture to Knock Out Cholera and the Doctor
Helps Him Out, as the Medicine Proves to Be
More Powerful Than He Expected.

lug for. With the aid of couple Of
medical books l have today invented
something that ought to bring US both
cash and renoWn. 1t is Il cholera pre-
ventive or remedy which will be
known as 'Bowser's o. *. Remedy
and before tie week is out every doc
tor in town will be recommending it to
patients. After it has had chance to
mix a little we will both imbibe q
glass. If We have inhaled any germs
today it will kill them at once. | don't
want to make you nervous, but there
is look to your eyes as if
MY eyes are all right she hasten
ed to say. land l shall imDibe none
of your mixture. If | We're you l
shouldn't dare to fool with such things.
What do you know about chemistry?
You may have mixed up a horse medi-
cine instead Of cholera remedy
"You are speaking to me, are you?','
he inquired as he drew himself stit1ly
erect. THAT will do, Mrs. Bowser. You
might as we'll call me Il fool and be
done with it. You will very likely be
seized with cholera before midnight,
but don't expect me to spare you one
iota of my %. IL. Remedy"
During the next five minutes there
was a silence and a painful emOarrasS-
ment. and the cat crept under the
lounge and chuch,ed to himself so SOFT
ly that Mr.. Bowser heard nothing. At
| length Mrs. Bowser broke the silence
by saying:
Il wish you'd give up these queer
! IDEAS
Queer ideas, eh?" he repeated, as
! re walked up and down the room. Il,
.dr. Bowser, one of the most practical
of men, and charged with having queer
ideas. | bring out a cholera remedy
to save thousands Of human lives and
am told it is queer
He descended to the kitchen and
poured out half pint Of his mixture
and drank it. There was sort OF
mud puddle and ole boot leg taste about
it, and lie half admitted to himself
that he shouldn't want it as steady
drink. but lie was looking complacent
and humming tune as he returned
to the sitting room.
"How Goes it happen that there is
cholera around?" asked Mrs. Bowser,
who had a bit Of curiosity in the mat
| ter after al.
Excuse me if l decline to discuss
the subject further this evening" re-
pied Mr.. Bowser.
But you say that thousands Of peo-
ple"-
Il say nothing. madam. I am odd
and queer and fool, and so / say
nothing
Half an hour later, when ready to
go to bed, he slipped downstairs for
another dose of the O. X. This time
it reminded him Of decoction of
skunk cabbage, and he forced it
down only because be wanted to be
sure Of killing those germs and out
living Mrs. .Bowser. She had no more
to say, and in half an hour be was
asleep and dreaming that 500 druggists
and LOCO doctors were in front OF the
house calling for his 0. X. Mrs. Bow
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
He Did Not Receive
Any Encouragement

"SIR," he called to me from a door-
- way as l passed at II o'clock,
hold on Il minute. will yoG:'
l stopped, and he came down to the
walk He was Iilapidated man about
forty years OLD, and there was pathos
in his voice as he began:
For twenty years | have been a
drunkard and a spenGthrift. IN that
time have SQuanGered $500 0OO.'
Yes" | said.
'Drink Las led to other things. I am
q liar and Il thief and a swinulc..'
"Nes; YOU lock it,
Il sat down in that doorway an hour
ago." he continued Ito plot a burglary.
| got to thinking Of home. mother,
childhood, and the result is that | have
made up my mind to reform. Yes, s.r,
from this hour am q changed man.
81 am glad of it."
"And YOU will aid me?"
What is it you want:'
"Sir, desire to reform and take my
place among tie respectable people Of
earth. Will you lend me soO,oOO to 90
it on?"
There's nothing cheap about you"' |
said as he waited for reply.
mo, sir; no, Sir" he answered, moth
ing cheap about me. l want genuine
reform or none at all. 1t will cost SJo,-
600 in cash. If you Can loan me that
sum III begin the reform movement by
taking drink and getting shaved.
Will YOU do it or not?'
'No, SIR
"That is final:'
"Emphatical,y So
Then won't take drink. Then
won't get shaved. Then / won't begin
the reform! No, sir; III sec You III t1e
land that is hotter than tl.s Eetore | ii
take one step toward reformation. You
had it in your power to restore me to
the ranks CT society. You refused. The
result is upon your own head. Go on,
sir: go on, and let ne say right here
and now that of all the mean ana
small souled men 1 eyer met you take
the cake"
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
Had Got Us Pat.

The Englishman had been in Amer
ica Just forty-eight hours and twenty
minutes when he was asked now lie
liked the country.
Fairly we'll" he replied.
"And the people:'
"The same"
"But you are talking Of going home
already"
, ooh, certainly. 1 must leave tomor-
row and get right to work ct my book
to be entitled America and Amerl-
cans l have seen EeNthing, sized
everybody up, and there's no Use OF
going over to Boston or Philadelphia" "
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
Penalties of esS.

"Did you see by the papers this
morning" asked Cholly as they un-
folded their napkins, that
81 nevah read the papahs." interrupt
ed Fweddy. "Waitah, bring us an ex-
ira fine po'tahLouse steak fob two
This IS why lie had to borrow dol
lar or two from Cholly when he came
to settle the bill for the dinner.-Chl"
cago Tribune.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07

might have been stricken. Thank heav-
en-, I'm not too late in our own case.
Mrs Bowser made no further inqui-
ries, knowing that it would all come
out after dinner. She noticed, howev-
er, that Mr. Bowser ate sparingly and
that now and then he started up AMI
looked around in alarm. AS soon as
the meal had been finished he dived
down cellar for the jug. and pretty
soon the cook came up from the kltch-
ell to say:
'Its Mr.. Bowser, who is rinsing out
q jug with hot water and won't tell me
what he's goin' to do with it. If there's
to be an explosion around here poor
orphan girl should be given a chance
to get out of the house and save her
life.'
She was told that he probably had
q fit on to make some root beer and
that ample warning would be given Eer
Of impending danger, but she was
shaking her head in doubtful way
as she returned to her pans and ket-
ties.
Mr.. Bowser was three-quarters Of an
hour rinsing out the jug and filing it.
He had something in a quart bottle
and other things in vials and packages.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
I he Fan.

~EE the fan. the cooling fan!
~ How il glads TIE heart Of man!
p0~ II its litt.e cage o. VII.
1t doth never. never tire,
AS with scarce Il trac9 Of sound
1t GOES whzzing round and round,
Buster than the busy bee
And more useful.
Only see
How it cools the hcatei brow
CT the wearied toiier. How, =
In manner picturesque.
It SENDS flying OH the desk
Like so much OF trash anU waste
Everything upon it placed:
'TiS Il gay and festive tninS.
Bound to have its little fling.
But, however gay it be.
Not a word in wrath say we.
Sine il cOOls and comforts 50
When the brecZeS fail to blow
When they ought to.
See the fan!
Isn't he a noisy man?
Isn't he as full of fire
AS an Indian funeral pyre?
Isn't he holy terror
When the home team makes an error
Or when dubs. as ii in Iubt
Stand and fail to line EN- out?
See him def his coat and hat
When his Iavorte goes to bat!
See him open up his chest. z,
Believing his level best, -
Urging p!" yers, one and all,
To jump in and Kill the ball!
How he uulateS and roars,
Tearing Up all out of doors =.
When d II, tfOCt runner scores! >.
Oh, he nearly throws 4 fit
When the home team scores a hit
In a pinch. when batting counts
More than riches! -:
See. He mounts
Benches, chairs and even treadS
On his luci:less nciChbors' heads
In his wild. infectious spas1il
Of Subiim" enthusiasm,
Oh. the fan, the crazy fan!
Find his equal if you can!
st. Louis PoSt-Dispatch.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
He Did His Part.

"Do l understand that you are a
veteran Of the civil war; was asked
of the man with the Grand Army but
ton.
You MAJ, SIR
cali through the war, were you"
Il was"
''In what regiment:'
81 was detailed to the comnissary
department and Was never at the
front"
"Ch, see. Then you do not claim
to be hero:"
No, sir. | Helped forward the ra-
tons rs fast as | could, and after the
war l came home and helped about
200 other men get PENSIONS.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
His Holy Sabbath Day.

"Remember the Sabbath day to keep
it holy" said the good man.
81 always DO" replied the chrome
golfer. Il played seventy-two holes
last Sunday y.'-Chicago Record-Herald-
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
spoilinS a Good Thing.

Mrs. Won Blumer-I complimented
your husband yesterday on his skill
in taking care Of the baby.
Mrs. Dimpleton-Oh. dear, what dld
YOU do that for? He thinks he is only
PLAYING with him.-Life.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
For ExanDle.

"As for me- stated the petulant
person. II see no difference between
half a loaf and no bread"
But there is difference replied
the practical one. "Wouldn't you pre-
fer a whole doughnut to a doughnut
"-JCdGe.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
Renewing HOstilities.

Mrs. Calier-I'm surprised that you
recognized me. 1t has been more than
five years since we met.
Mrs. Naggeby-I had almost forgot
ten YOUR face, but | remembered that
dress YOU have On.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
Uncle Allen.

"You never know how much can be
said on both sides of a question: re-
f1ected Uncle Allen Sparks, until you
hear two women trying to tell each
other how to make currant jelly
Chicago Tribune.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
Ais Well.

BrigcS-Poor Jasper. He miserably
failed in his examination for locomo-
tive engineer.
Gricgs-Rut I understand he has OBJ
tairel a fine job rs chauffeur.-Iite.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
No Recommendation.

Goldsborougb-You may say what
YOU like about Ricketts,, but he's as
good as his word
poindexter-But consider how many
had words he uspS.-Detroit Free Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
A Graft.

"Hello, Slouchy, in any regular husl-
ness now?'
"Yep. I'm gettin' knocked over Dy
automobiles and collectin' damages.
Best graft I ever had."-Detroit Free
Press
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
A CritiQue.

How did you like our new dEet!'
she asked.
"Oh. was that new duet? thought
You We're only quarreling. ng."-1onkers
Statesman.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
For Both.

81 can forgive but never forget sh!s
whippin".' said Tommy.
THAT is Just what want you to 20,
said his m0ther.-HOStOn Courier.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
Rim RhNnle.

It Is easy enough to be pleasant
When your automobiles in trim.
But the man worth while
Ia the man who can smile
When he has to go home on rim.
Chicago Record-Herald.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
willing to Listen.

Tess-She was boasting that she is q
very good listener.
Jess-Yes. She's what you mlght
call fiuent listener. Size loves TO
hear herself ftalk.-Philadelrhia Press.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
What 1T Did For Her.

T suppose your daughters trip
abroad did her Il wonderful amount or
good:"
"Yes: she always says 4 fancy in
stead of 1 guess "-Chicago Record
Herald.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
copyright, 1864. Sy T. c. Mcclure

copyright, 1854. y =. c. McClure.]
R R. BCWS.sR' was not wearing
SNM sign of my Latest Fad"
IW4 On his breast when he re-
turned home the other even
ing, but it was nevertheless perfectly
plain to Mrs. Bowser that he had one.
He had a mysterious parcel in his
hand. and he laid it aside With great
care, and the first question he asked
was:
as there a gallon jug down cellar
that used to have cider vinegar in it,
Il believe so. What do you WANT
with a gallon jug?'
"Pll tell you after dinner. ANY one
died on this street today?'
Not that Pve heard Of. We're you
expecting any one to dep
..As this is just the season and the
weather for cholera didn't know who
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07
His Experience.

:There are some songs that will nev-
er die" said the musical enthusiast.
'.I guess that's right" answered Mr..
CunroX. My daughter sits down at
the piano and tries to kill few of 'em
every evening. But it's no use."-
Washington Star.
The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1904-09-07

Showman-Trade's bad. You'll have
to smoke cigarettes all day.
Living SNeleton-Why?
Showman-Why, me marrer bone. all
the mothers in the town Will come and
bring their boys 10 show 'em wot ciSa-
rette smokin' has done for yer!-Jester.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05
rt
srATE on KENrucKY. coanty Of Mecraeken-ss.

fo7SS7I<
STATE OF KENTUCKY County Of Mccraeken--sA
president the Citizens
being duly the foregoing report in all
condition bank business
made compliance
State, designating day Of December
d. which such snail be made.
W.T.. PAXTON, President
O.
A, RUDY, Director,
r. RUDY, Director.
Subscribed before by f.
My commission expires the end of
Kentucky. p PURYEAR
10 County ks.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05

council, should ask the opinion of the
city solicitor in regard to the legality
oil the move. The law stipulates that
money shall be used only for the pur-
pose appropriated, and if the money in
the treasury to pay the balance on the
street Improvement is expended for
something else, any taxpayers may
come IN later ana enioin the city from
using money hereafter appropriated,
Tor the street Improvement debt.
There is, in the first place, no legal
excuse for the money not now being in
the treasury. for paying the defaulted
interest. lt was appropriated for sew
eral years, 1t is understood, and col
lected, and if it had not been illegally
spent for other purposes, it would now
be available for what it was intended.
levied, and collected.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05
ODDITIES IN PET NAMES.
Varying Terms Of Endesrment in Dlt
ferent Countries.

Varying Terms OF Endesrment in DIT.
ferent Countries.
III a man in this country calls his
wife a cat the foundation is laid for
divorce suit said the man who
travels. But a French woman
takes the same word as a term Of en-.
dearment. It's odd how the choicest
phrases in the vocabulary OF affection
OF one people are used for quite an
opposite purpose by another nation.
One of the most familiar and most
coveted phrases of endearment
among the French. for instance. is
my little pig, and my little puppy
dog Is also well liked.
But IL the Frenchman were 20
call Nine. Narcisse duck as an
American husband might call his bet
ter half. she would be very much
offended. One of the oldest pct
names that I ever heard of was that
used by a famous German general.
who always called his wife my little
kernel Of coffee They were divorced
at last. however. and cynic said
that the generals pet name should
have been my dear little stack OF
bayonets,' for the lady was said to
have had a very sharp tongue. |
know a devoted disciple OF Walton.
who, when writing TO his wife while
on a fishing expedition. calls her my
dear little speckled trout"
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05

! IL the bill ,tol be introduced in the
general assembly of Kentucky adopt
ing electrocution as q means Of execut-
ing criminals on whom the death pen
atty is imposed, becomes law, twill
place Kentucky in the list with some
of the largest and most progressive
states in the union. There seems to
be no doubt that electrocution is the
most humane way OF getting them out
Of the way, and it will dispense with
the ghsstliness Of hanging. 1t is prob
able that the ople.ofsKentucky. IL
theyi could3 express their Individual
opinion, would favor the measure.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05
STOP THE SMOKE NUISANCE.

It is time Psduoah was doing some.
thing towards sbating the smoke nui-
ssnc'. II there is anyone in the city
who has not come into contact with
the ruinous effects OF this daily impo-
sition, he or she must be newcomer
or a stay at-home. Countless large
ohimneys even in the business portion
of the city, spout their volumns OF
black, sooty smoke continually, and
while most of the smoke goes up, the
SCOT does not. 1t falls over every one
who happens to traverse the streets
and sidewalks IL lodges on the win
dows and porches and in warm weather
drifts into business houses and homes.
II falls all over the pretty and often
costly dresses of ladies when they APP
pear on the streets. IL often ruins
goods displayed in front of stores and
does great damage everywhere.
A person to learn the extent OF this
smoke nuisance has only 10 go down
Broadway and see where huge balls Of
SCOT have fallen on the gray sidewalks.
1t falls the same way on all exposed
surfaces, the only difference being that
il Ia not always so easily seen on other
objects, 1t is filthy, injurious and
unhealthful, and ought to be stopped.
Now is the time to stop it. 1t is
unwise to wait until city gets very
large to do away With the stoke nul-
saRce' An ounce of prevention is
worth pound of cure. Now is the
time to compel all users of soft coal TO
have smoke consumers. 1t will be bet
ter for them and better for the people,
to do il now. II we wait. Others will
add to the nuisance. Smoke consumers
are cheaper to those who use soft coal.
They consume what is now a waste.
But even II they were not, the public
is entitled to some considerati ON, and
the smoke nuisance should be dcne
away with now before Paducah gets
soy larger, and the smoke and SCOT any
worse.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05
CIRCULATION STATEMENT

DAILY AVERAGE, a7SS.
Personally appeared before me this
day E. J. Paxton, general manager Of
The Sun, who sfirms that the above
statement of the circulation Of The
Sun for the month Of Dec, 1908, is tue
20 the best OF his knowledge and belief.
PETER PURvRAR,
Notary Public McCracken County.
Ny commission expires at the end Of
the Dext session Of the senate, .s g
Dec, 81, 1905.
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05
Bohemian Glass Blowers.

About 1000 skilled glass cutters In
twenty towns in Bohemia have struck.
Work is done by the piece at prices
which give the average wage forty
i've cents a day. The skill of these
famous Bohemian glass cutters do
bends upon the fact that they are train
ed to It from thee age OF six years.
Much OF the work is done in homes
with foot power lathes. and one-third
VI the artisans reowomeh. n
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05

The council, before retiring yester-
day, voted to use the 81, 900 or more
appropriated for the purpose Of paying
for the brick street improvements, to
pay the interest on the over the river
honda This money, it is understood,
will be only borrowed" but the sec
ond class charter is very plain against
such proceeding, aud the aldermen.
before they ratif- the action Of the
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05

LIABILITIES.
c'pitsl stock paid in; cash ..-.-...- - -----
Surplus fund. a... .-.-... ....-.....
Undivided profits. .-.-... ..
Due depositofs follows. viz
Deposits subject to check ION which interest paid
Deposits subject to check ION which interest paid)
Demand certificates Of deposits ION which interest is pad)
Time certificates Of deposits ION which interest paid
Savings deposits ION which Interest IA paid
Certified checks. .........-....
National bank deposits . ---. - -
State banks and bankers deposits
Due trust companies ..... -.. -.
Cashiers checks outstanding .---.... .- -
Bills rediscoun,ed .
Unpaid dividends ..... ..
Taxes due anG unpaid .-.- &c.. --..
Capital stock not paid. .... .-.-......-.
SUPPLEMENTARY.
Highest OF indebtedness 81 tockholder person.
company firm Including in the liability Of the com.
pany firm the liability OF the individual members
thereof directly indirectly, il such indebtedness ex.
cees per cent OF capital stock actually paid and
actual amount Of surplus Of the bank .............
How is indebtedness stated in above item I securedg
lSee Section $50. Kentucky Statu,es)
Highest of Indebtedness OF director officer
amount Of Indebtedness exceeds per Of paidup
capital stock Of bank. None.
Does o. indebtedness OF any person. company or
firm including in the liability OF the company firm
the liability Of the individual members the=sef
coed 80 per cent. of paid up capital and actual
II so, state amount OF Indebtedness ..... None
Amount Of last dividend ....-...-.
Were all expenses losses inerestaud deducted there
from before declaring dividend and less than
10 per cent Of net profits Of the bank for the period
covered by the dividend carried 10 the surplus fund he
before said dividend declared.
(see Section $50, Kentucky StatutesD
All expenses etc, deducted and than 10 per cent
placed to surplus,
The Paducah sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1898-1906, 1904-01-05
Princes Odd BeIIef

Prince Ferdinand Of Bulgaria is pos
sessed by a curious belief. or supersti-
ton. He has the famous horse ridden
by Prince Alexander OF Bulgaria at the
battle OF Slivnitza, and he Is convinced
that so hong as he treats the animal
well he will never lose his position in
the Drincinality