Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1904-04-15
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He-So your husband has given up
smoking? 1t requires pretty strong
will to accomplish that She-Well,
I'd have you understand that have
q strong will!-NewYorker.
How long shall 1 boil the eggs,
ma'am" asked the cook. 81 don't ex-
actly know" replied the young house
wife, "but cook them until they are
real tender."-Chicago Post.
Nodd-Awfully sorry to hear your
house burned down. Did you save
anything? Todd-Oh, yes. After some
very lively work we succeeded in get
ting out all the things we didn't want.
Town and Country.
Easy error: La Montt-Made a ter
rible blunder to-day. Saw a man in a
rubber suit and cap, and asked him If
he was sewer-cleaner. La Moyne-
Who was he? La Montt- millionaire
chauffeur.-Chicago News.
"Well, SNOWFALL" said the patron to
the dusky waiter, how did you ever
come by name like that "Well,
sab. l was born in Chicago. Reckon
yer never seed Chicago SNOWFALL,
sah!-Yonkers Statesman.
Il hear you're dissatisfied with your
Doctors bill" "Yes, don't think he's
entitled to two hundred and fifty dol
lars for that operation" "Why not?"
Because if he was he'd claim more"
Philadelphia Pubic Ledger.
A way she has: Morton-Is Mrs.
Styles much of a talker? Norton
Much Of a talker 1 should say so!
1t is impossible for her to play soli-
taire intelligently-sh has so much to
say to herself, you Boston
Transcript.
A question: She-Charles, dear,
how many teeth does baby have?
He-I don't know. But I think that,
after the way I've walked the floor for
the last six months, ours ought to have
at least hundred and fifty by this
time.-Detroit Free Press.
Howes-Don't like this cold wealth
er, eh? Why, only last summer you
were complaining of the heat. Barnes
Not Of the heat itself, but rather be-
cause Of its untimeliness. 1t would be
all right If reserved for such weather
as this.-Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Trucker think shall give up
my business, my dear. 1 might as well
have some good out of my money. Mrs.
Trucker-Oh, not yet, Samuel. But
when one Of us dies, shall give up
housekeeping and see a little of the
world.-Town and Country.
Wife-There was a man around to-
day selling big brass burglar alarm
bells to put on the front of the house,
80 ordered one. Husband-What!
You know we haven't anything worth
stealing. Wife, know, but 1t will
make the neighbors think we have
Philadelphia Ledger.
"De trouble wifi dat man." said
Erasmus Pinkley, sis dat he's too am
bilious" But he won't work." an
swered Miss Miami Brown. mo. He's
one O. desc people dat would rather
imagine hisself ridin' in a automobile
dan git down to business an push a
Observation-Disclosures Star.
Editor in Chief Ito Office boy)-Ben-
ME, where's the theater tickets 1 sent
you after? Bennie-I forgot 'em. City
Editor-Bennie, where's that paste 1
sent you for? Bennie-I forgot It.
Sporting Editor-Bennie, what was
Jack Glasscock's battin' average in
1888? Bennie promptly)-Three hun
dred and eighty ty-six.-Cleveland Lead
er.
Turpin-Come with me to the ZOO.
Jenks-No, thank you. I'll stay at
home. My oldest daughter does the
kangaroo walk, my second daughter
talks like parrot, my son laughs like
hyena, my wife watches me like
hawk, my cook is as cross as bear,
and my mother-in-law says I'm an old
gorilla. When 1 go anywhere 1 want
change.-Tit-Bits.
Icy.-"Didn't you git no money from
dat woman yer held up?" asked the
first, footpad. "Naw," replied the 9th.
er, shivering slightly; "she wuz from
Boston" well, Boston people has
money" "Mebbe dey has, but when
sez to her, Money or yer life, lady,
she sez, How dare ye speak ter me
widout de formality of Introduction ?
SEE she, an leaves me froze stiff."-
Philadelphia Press.
"There was once minister in Hart.