The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-12

ne cold snap and Its Relation to the
Well Cooked Breakfast Subjective
Whoop Of Joyous Anticipation Raised by
Our faded and Sn-sick Soul at the
Sight OF a Proper Breakfast In the VIM
ter Time.
The cold snap has it's advantages For
instance, at breakfast time when the lady
brings in the bacon and egg the raised
biscuit, the cup of hot coffee, the pancake
the doughnut and a cool1y for father, our
jaded and weary soul raises a subjective
whoop Of good cheer that assaults the
very walls Of the celestial city with its
glad joyousness.
A man who will parade his measly lit
tie pessimism in the face Of a good break
fast surely has something wrong about
him somewhere and should take treatment
for it. The only fad in the eating way we
could bring ourselves to consider would
be the two-breakfast fad.
A school professor at Duluth stole a
kiss from a young lady. She 'hollered''
and he confessed to the school board The
board then discovered that he had kissed
another girl and so, very properly, fired
him. We kiss no girl unless she can pro-
duce an affidavit that she is under 10 years
Of age and still plays with dolls. No use
coming around now to try US. We are
adamant.
| Chicago university is somewhat wor-
ried over a student disease called mind
Wandering.'' Farmer Ben says that it
comes from the cigarette habit The mind
wanders to get away as far as possible
! from the odor
| General Weyler's new book shows that
he had things all fixed to down the United
States, but that he was superseded before
he could put his plans into execution His
intention was to seize all the shipping in
Havana harbor, and embark "a, 900 men for
descent on Louisiana. Having once
made a successful Judgment, he would
have invited all the old confederates 10
| join him in his march to Washington to
exterminate the hated Yankee and seize
his government. My, but that was mar
row escape for somebody!
| Robert Grant, poet has slight stunt
on Mr.. Higginson in a late Atlantic. Mr..
Grant says:
Preacher of liberal creed,
Pioneer in Freedoms cause;
Ever prompt to take the lead
In behalf Of saner laws
o.. Still your speech persuasive flows
AS the brooks Of Helicon.
You have earned fair repose, I
Thomas Wentworth Higginson.
1t is rather difficult for the name Of
Higginson to lend itself to poetic usage
but We will overlook that provided we
! are allowed to fix over the stanza, say
/ like this:
Preacher Of liberal creed,
Pioneer in Freedoms cause,
Should some scoundrel take the lead
Breaking all his country's laws,
Thou wOuldst smite upon the brow
This Grass 1awless son of q gun. !
That would give him good repose, =
Thomas wentworth Higginson.
If you ever do wrong. don't forget that
somebody hypnotized you. OF course, it
! isn't your fault.
| The typhoid germ tried to be the whole
thing with the Duluth Tribune's News an6
Comment Column, but it was badly hat
! pinned in the fray and retired defeated
! Glad Of it.
The Nebraska Journal has discovered
the whereabouts Of z Smith, who
as H. Tins. used to do a daily poetic
stunt upon The Minneapolis Journal edii
torial page. The Nebraska paper says:
Our old friend, Smith, whose work on Tho
Minneapolis Journal some years ago ATTRACTED
much favorable notice. is to become man
aging editor of the only republican newspaper
| in the state of Virginia. Its name will be THIS
Virginia Daily Press, its place Of publicatio
Roanoke, and it's purpose the education of the
people long blinded by sectional hatred and idiotiC
partzan prejudice. May it live long and pros
per. H..
The strong nature and sturdy Language
induced by the fierce necessity of pro.
ducing one poem per day in spite of tn
evil one has rendered Mr.. Smith capablt
Of producing republican paper in 4
/ southern democratic stronghold, no matte
| if the Inhabitants do shoot into the sane
tum after nightfall. If nobody gets MI
Smith, he may do well if he succeeds.
| MARIE" who writes for the st. PAT
! Globe states that bigany is the latest so
cial fad in Minneapolis. Marie says:
| The papers are full of stories of mascu1inf
and feminine bigamists, and the large majoriti
Of these strange persons with prediction TO
matrilnony seem to live have lived in Mime
apolis.
st. Paul may be more or less affected by thi
epidemic Of husbands who have more wives thai
the lew allows, but Minneapolis is in the veri
throes Of it.
Strange we never happened to MOTTO
that! And SO prevalent in our midst toe
Possibly the awful necessity Of havin,
to fill so much newspaper space per da,
bears heavily upon Sweet Marie. ThS
is our standard excuse for shortcoming
in the matter of accuracy of statement
or inanity of the stuff printed daily. Still
we haven't lied much about st. Paul.
"A. j. R.