The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-30
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mi Servant Yes. but the woman of
tne house won't let him come Quit
busionist--I believe in the Office
seeking the man. Regular That's ali
right II you don't want the Office
Brooklyn Life.
Many q rich father has discovered
that 1t is easier to get daughter of
his hands than to keep son-in-law on
his eet.-Philadelphia Record.
Bob-Gosh, Rob, where'd you rake
up those seedy old shoes? Rob-Why,
man, those are my patent feathers. Bob
But the patent has expired, Ell?
Miss Carrye Moore-she calls him
her intended. Are they engaged7 Miss
cutting Hintz-No, but she intends to
marry him.-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Nipped in the Bud: Actress have
been robbed of my jewels. Hotel Clerk
1t won't do any good; there isn't
newspaper in the town."-Town Top
les. .@.. ..........
Il can always tell when you are GO
ing to tell lie," said Gregg to Legg.
Howl" asked Legg. 81 see you open
open your mouth" said Cregg-Town
Topics.
Mabel-Why didn't you scream when
he put his arm around you? Ethel
wanted to, but couldn't, and when
could didn't want to.-Butte Inter-
Mountain. ...
Undoubtedly: II see that somebody
says there is no such thing as luck in
business" HE must be one of the
lucky ones who have succeeded
Exchange.
Efie-Sillyl Dolls don't eat. any
thingI Bertie-Don't, Ell? Well, that
old one Of yours that cut open was
stuffed chock full Of breakfast food
Woman's Home Companion.
And do you think" he asked, "that
men progress after deathT "Well,"
she replied, "if they don't it would al.
most seem useless for some Of them to
die'-Chicago Record Herald.
What She Did: "And what did you
do when your doctor told you you
would have to quit wearing a corset
and give up sweetest" II sent for an
other ctor."-Chicago Record Herald.
Mahoole-Nixt tonne OF pass wild a
loidy, Mulligan, we've got to remove yer
hat! Mulligan-And suppose OF re.
fuse? Mahoole- Then, bedad, we've
got to remove yer coat.-Chicago News
Ernie-No, she isn't going to marry
Claude after all. Ida-But they say
he can quote Emerson and Browning
Eyes; but the other young man can
quote Sugar and Steel."--Chicagc
Daily News.
How He Lost Her: She-I suppose
if pretty girl should come along yor
wouldn't care anything about me any
more. He-Nonsense, Kate! What de-
I care for good looks? You suit me al
right.-Exchange
Quick Action: First Russian-Yor
say the fight was quickly over? Sec
ond Russian-Yes; it was finished be
fore you could say Jackopolinsky
Robinsonopolotoksk - New Orleans
Times-Democrat
Really" said Mrs. Oldcastle, you
little dinner last night was quit
recherche" ooh, DEAR" her hostess
groaned, II just knew that new cool
would make botch Of it some way
NI,ioooo paoard- Harold
She-Have you ever met my tw'
dearest friends? They are just lowell
and so devoted. He-How long hav
you known them? She-Why, Nv
known Annette nearly ten days an
Margaret almost a week.-Clevelan'
Plain Dealer.
"You should strive to appeal to tn
| imagination and the human interest o
your pupils" said the principal. 81
do" answered the teacher, but it l
very hard to convince the boys tina
Hector and Achilles were as great me
| as Corbett and Jeffries."
mamma, what would you do if tha
big vase in the parlor should get brol
enT' said Tommy. 81 should span
whoever did it," said Mrs Banks, ga
ing serenely at her little son. "Wel
then, you'd better begin to get up you
muscle" said Tommy, gleefully, eco
| papa's broken It,"
"But mamma" protested Miss Blu
Won, "why are you sending out invlts
tons for a diamond wedding? 70
haven't been married nearly lon
enough for that" whats that got
do with it," demanded Mrs. Bulyor
"your fathers financial standin
would make anything less than a dis
mond, wedding absurd" - Chicas
Evening Post.
A weekly newspaper recently pul
ushed the following in its ANSWER
to Correspondents column-"W
have two apple trees in our garden
writes ELLA, and in the spring they al
covered with such lovely pink an
white blossoms that pull them of II
table decorations. Now see that thel
are no apples on the trees. Do yo