davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
WILLIS George gNERsoN.

z PEAKING OF four-fushes somehow
= reminds US Of Willis George En-
erson Of Wyoming. Willis George is
the chap that started q boom for VIII
lis George for the Republican vice
presidential nomination. The said
boom lasted as long as Professor lang
ley's latest airship. It collapsed be-
fore il was off the launching appara-
tus, which same was Willis George.
A few days ago Willis George had
himself interviewed by the New York
Tribune He told the Tribune some
things that viii be news. to the good
people Of Wyoming.
Among other matters Willis George
casually let il be known that he was
being seriously mentioned by his
friends" as a Republican candidate for
governor of Wyoming or as senator
TO succeed Clarence D. Clark. But
have encouraged no one in the belief
that I would accept the nomination
as governor said Willis George, with
the air of a Cfncinnatus who cannot
be swerved from the furrOw. We sub
nit that a possible reason why Bre'r
Emerson has found no one who labOrs
under that belief is that no one be-
Iieves he has any earthly chance to
land the nomination.
Regarding the senatoTship Willis
George was also coy. senator Clark
is q splendid man, and an able rep
rssentative in the upper house Of con-
gress," said he. He has now served
nearly twelve years and viii undOubt-
edIy be a candidate to succeed him
self. If I esteemed him less highly
than 1 do I might be more ready to
listen 10 the suggestion that I con-
tesa with him the honor Of election
TO the senatorship. I have never, how
ever, up to this time. seriously con-
sldered the matter Of being a candi-
GATE"
Heavens. What a narrow escape is
this for Senator Clark! Willis George
evidently Is sure that all that is neces-
sary for him to become senator TO sue
coed Senator Clark is for him to let
the people OF wyoming know he will
accent the place. But he thinks so
much OF the senator tnat ne just can l.
bear the notion Of throwing him out
II Senator Clark doesn't Immediately
convey TO Willis George some token Of
his everlasting gratitude then there
is no such thing as gratitude in pol
itics-
And. by the way. the fact that VIII
lis George IS able TO break into a New
York newspaper with an interview in
dicates that al the purchasers Of gold
bricks don't come from the hayseed
counties.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
FEUDALESM.
SEVEN HUNDRED YEARS OF PROGRESS.
Wall Journal
A. D. 1904.

The Magnate sits in his parIOr where the punched
As hat in hand without they stand his callers, ali IN
And the hurrying clerks through the swinging doors
pass swiftly TO and fro.
Anon he paeeth the he watcheth the tick
wheel
Increasingly rattle the price CT Mop" of Copper.
Anon he tuTneth news-sips Ger as they tell of the
latest deal"
And now he presseth button-One Of glittering line
Afar there ringeth tnkling bell and there sheweth
the Magnate's sign.
The 'serivener jumpeth as rings the bell
Who jumpeth not at the Masnates bell his punish
ment is condign!
The Alagnate is Of the scrvener pencil and book
TwhO may they be Without" quoth he that beyond
Co seek me their business out and quick return for
my command
The serivener hath HE'D him forth and anon in the
he swiftly passeth from one to one and Iearneth the
need Of all
toh! many the needs Of many the men on the Mag
nate eallD
And returns the serivener: BE pleased to hear"
This is his name and this his state ana this is each
And the Magnate hears the serivener read the list
from TO Z.
This one can alderman asketh loan Of iGiiurs
Where be my ordinance, pray? The alderman hath
more
Till signed and sealed in my hand Il ~.
Ny terms to him G. .. D.
What doth he take fOr2' quOth he. "Avauntl go
show him the door,"
This Senator next doth crave boon for behold his
fences fail
What! shall buy him his seat again2 success pay
the nail,
But naught for naught is my golden rule;
What craftsman keepeth q broken toolP
For failure payeth alone the fool and what shall it
ayail?"
"Cometh the Manager of the mill-his men stin idle.
wait"
Let them hunger awhile till they do my viii and their
insoience agate.
Perehance when the whirlng snowdakes fly
And the women shiver and children cry.
They'll that master Of all am ]. Keep locked and
barred the gate"
And thus the scrivener calls the roll as they stand
without in the hail,
Banker Broker and President Merchant great and
small.
For this the law of the latter day,
That whose taketh the Magnates pay.
Shall the right of the Msgnate's sway and hold
him the Magnate's thrall.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
VIZ He pidn,t 90 Aeross.
CMashington Post.l

Senator Dubois tells Of d Kentucky
mOuntaineer who had never seen the
steam cars. At last he consented to
make q journey to the nearest station
and behold the transportation wonder.
This rnountaineer arrived a little ahead
Of the schedule time. He tarried i'm
patiently near the track, 50 that the
train could not steal by him unawares-
After awhile he started out to meet
the belated locomotive. He met it as
It rounded a curve. Turning about, the
mOuntaineer ran along the track as
for his life.
''Toot. loot, sounded the locomotive,
slowing up; but the mOuntaineer only
dug the gravel more industriously than
ever. He soon reached the station
completely out of breath
why didn't you cut across in
quired one Of the bystanders.
cut across" exclaimed the uncOuth
lad. IF / had struck the plowed
ground the thing certainly would have
caught me-"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
HORACE SMITH RESIGNS.

IT Is NOT OFTEN that the resig-
nation of a minor official can truth
fully be counted q distinct loss to a
municipality, but The Herald is sure
this description fits the case of Horace
Smith, Mr.. Smith has rendered his
resignation as secretary of the city
board of health, a position he has filed
for something like four years. During
that time the city has had no official
more faithful. none more courteous and
capable and conscientious.
Mr.. Smiths idea all along has seemed
to be that a public Office is net intend
ed as a pension for party service. He
has worked as hard as a man could
work in any position. The office has
been sygtematized under his manage
ment TO p point where it may properly
lie regarded as a model to be followed
in health offices everywhere. We do
not know who Mr. Smiths successor is
TO be but we do know that he has some
hard labor cut out for him if he ex-
poets to maintain the record Of eff
cheney set by his predecessor
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
ST. VALEnTlnE.s Day.

THIS Is THE DAY when the little
1 birds are alleged to mate, and the
youth and a part Of the older folk take
advantage Of 1t to a much greater ex-
tent than do the birds. There are
hearts and cuDids and soft, even
mushy, verses without end in the mails
today. And, alas, there viii be an
abundance Of the so-called comics. %
We can forgive the small boy for
sending comic valentines, but the
grown man or woman who sends one
ought to be arrested.
St. Valentines Day is thus named be
cause it is the day on which good
Catholics do honor to a very old saint
Of their church, Valentine. The send
ing of love messages and gifts and
tokens IS quite incidental. Historians
tell Us that this custom really has its
origin IN the worship Of the heather
goddess, Juno, whose day was once
celebrated about the time Of our Febru-
airy II. But heather or no heather,
saint or no saint, St. Valentines Day
observances. Il Of a proper sort. are
entirely comnendable.
Any day that calls for the sending
OF messages OF anection is a good cay.
There Is plenty Of affection in the lives
Of most Of as, but a great majority of
as never have time to show it. We
think it is enough for US to know we
love the people we love whether they
ever know il or not. Nothing in this
world yields such large returns as
demonstrations Of affection The Won
der is that more Of US do not appre-
ciate the fact.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
A. d. 1904.

The Baron stood on the rampart's edge and gazed
Where grazsd the herds and curled the smoke and
waved the golden grain
AS fair in the sheen OF summer sun lay spread the
rich champaign
And he smote his thigh with his clenehed first and
turned him from the wall,
"Ho, theTei no. there, my page! quoth he Go sum-
And bid him gather my trusty men ere yet the sha
dows fall;
My horsemeu and my pikemen and they that draw
And they shan wait by the western gate till they hear
Tonight we ride country side harvest ripe to
mow,"
Now high in topmost turret peas out the castle
Insistent Ger the country round its brazen accents
And east and west and south and north
The Barons mastering call goes forth.
Woe to the wight who fingers when ne hears tn mPe-
The plowman halts in the furrow booms the grim
The herdsman gathers his cattle IN and hurrles nome
The hunter turns him from the kill
The woodsman drops his and bill
Silent afar the clacking mill
The forge fire dies, the sledge is still,
And every of the Baron's clan he hies him hons
to arm.
And now is heard in the castle yard the hurrying
AS in they pour from rash and moor and field and
From hillside and from lakeside and the far distant
glen
And now are heard the tramping hoOves-the horse
come amain
This steed but hath left the pillow and that the
creaking VAIN
But vain and pillow must bide his hest
And horse and man must track his quest
Who follow the Barons tossing crest and ride in the
Baron's train.
And now the footmen form their ranks each pikemau
pike in hand;
Each bowman true hath bent the yew and tried the
qUivering strand
And it's for the wife she sits alone!
Oh for the wife she weeps for one
Or sire that today is gone to march with the
Baron's bandi
And now they by the western gate in silent stern
array,
As the frightening shadows lingering mark the doom
of the dying day
And now the Baron's buge sounds
And the drawbridge his charger
bounds
And silent into the summer night the raiders tramp
For this is the law of feudal days, the law for one
and all
That whose lives on the Barons land must the
Barons cail,
And whose lives on the Baron's land
May feed he will at the Baron's hand
But whose feeds at the BarOn's hand hold him
the Baron's thral!
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Fooled Again.
Chicago Tribune)


Al this point a man with harsh.
rasping voice rose up N the back paTt
OF the hall.
will you allow me TO interrupt you
for a moment2-' he asked.
Certainly" said the candidate who
was presenting his claims in an elo-
queHt speech
Didn't you say TO the delegation
that called on you a few weeks ago
thai you wouldn't turn your hand over
for any Office in the country
Il did, sir
Will you explain what you meant
when you said that?'
Yes. sir: I viii make it SO plain that
any fool can understand it. ] said I
wouldn't turn my hand over for any
Office. I meant it. sir, said the orator,
in a voice like thunder. How can a
man turn his hand over without show
ing the cards he holds? Now, viii you
quietly 60 somewhere and soak your
head?"
But the friends Of the candidate
shouldered the man out with more or
less noise and confusion.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Editor Declares incl.
(Vernal Express.)


The editor has just learned that he was
arrested, tried, convicted and crucified
at a performance by the Gymnasium club
couple of weeks ago, for not pstting the
actors on the back in the regulation fash
ion. 1t was ever thus. Whenever an ed
uOr says q few complimentary words
about some hOrny-handed. ClOd-hOppinE
individual (Often stretching his imagina-
tiQn 10 do sol said individual takes il for
granted that he IS deserving Of still more
praise and the editor could not very we'll
say anything else about him. and there
fore the papeT is not entitled 10 any credit
for it, but when something is said in the
paper that does not exactly suit, the first
thing that is thought OF is to rush 10 the
office and stop the paper. Il perch8uce he
happens to be a subscriber, and condemn
and cuss the editor fureVermoTe for mis-
audacity. Never mind. There Is one faint
consolation held cut TO the weary pencil
pusher, Is is said that persecution brings
popularity" If this is a fact we will have
a few carloads of popularity to spare
some day and will then scatter il around
among our fFiends-the enemy
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

In his maiden speech Senator Fulton
Of Oregon said it was impossible TO do
anything for the CoIombians and added
that their catholicism is but the nat
ural instinct Of race of buccaneers"
Bully for Fulton! But we make this
point. The administration is not being
criticised because it has attempted to
do something for the Colombians, but
because it has done several things to
them. That makes quite a difference.
The most prominent buccaneers are the
fellows of the Bunau- Varilla stripe who
expect TO profit by the Roosevelt rob
berry Of Colombia.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Pointed Paragraphs.
lChicago -

Home-rule questions keep divorce
judges busy.
It easier to make a bluff than it is 10
make good.
A baby is either the storm center or
the sunshine Of the home.
It's easier to pull your ideas down
than it is 10 live up to them.
y man meets with financial reverse
when he turns his money the wrong
way.
When a lawyer gives his client un-
necessary trouble he always charges
for it.
OF course. the young spendthrift is
a jolly good fellow, but years later he
is apt TO realize that he's a COMPOUNDED
old fool.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

presidents It had been Ttron1pIed upon
AID had trampled. the thing being
about stand-ou.
Ananias was the inventor Of the val
entine,
Il was q mean Old bachelor who sug-
gested that St, N3lentfne.s day should
fau on April 1.
How is Congregsllan Howell to con-
vince the pee3is Of Arizona that the
strip is not good and also convince the
people Of Utah that it IS good?
And people who Go not hunt ducks
at, All would just as soon have spring
shooting abolished
In considering that attempt to rob the
rooming house the other hight all true
sports viii regret thatethe burglar was
foiled. because any man who IS piker
en- 1ugh 10 get fun and go TO bed with
$50 stin in mis- clothes ought 10 be
robbed.
The case Of the salt Lake man who
has had smallpox twice within a month
shows how q habit may become fixed
on one.
It has certainly taken Alfred r Ste
vsns of New Jersey. who has Just filed
8 suit against the steel trust, a long
time to find his rights as a stockh0lder
have been violated.
While Senator Burton wishes every
one to understand he has a perfect de-
Tense. he believes a demurrer is about
the right thing.
Dowie's action in placing the next
coming of the Messiah 1tss years in the
future was 4 thoughtful one, as Dowie
win not De here when explanations are
demanded
We just knew all the time that Cap
tain Mahan would come to bat before
the week was out.
OF course. ono naturally hates TO be
forgotten by everybody, but stiil those
comic valentines
or rejoicing over the fact that our
food products viii have fine market
in the far east because Of the war is
tempered by the other fact that We
shall have to pay more for them here
at home.
This being leap year it is not good
form for gentlemen to send valentines
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
ReRectiong Of a Baehelor.
New York Press

I've" Aoi n 4 = Ss-l
The clever way to praise most women
is to damn their rivals.
A woman can lose the most ardent
lover by buying his cigars for him.
When a girl no longer bushes at
what she blushed at before it is a sign
the honeymoon is over.
No woman ever has any patience
with a novel where the author forgets
TO have the heTOine's laughter ripple.
A Mormon must have lots of fun
threatening his wives to change his in
surance policies in favor OF the other.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Moab Coming Up.

f-+Ae-AA-- eNAAt-- AA--ASl-y
There was a time when the name of
Moab sounded ObliQuc. uu~American and
Aormonly, but the time is coming when
II VIII have a more familiar sound like:
Moab, or Bust Change Cars for
NOAH Moab is the Door-kn0b to the
La sails" or any other old handle TO des-
lgnate its attraction. Moab is destined to
be "fOur-time winner"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

President Roosevelt is being taken to
task for rough riding the senate in the
matter Of appointments and other
things. Why, we had an idea, and
doubtless the president has the same
idea, that President Roosevelt owned
the senate, as well as the supreme
court and the rest Of the government
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

Members Of the Republican anti
mayor combine in the council are so
suspicious of each other that they are
all likely TO vote TO confirm the may
Or's nominees just by way Of making
sure that the other fellows don't get
anything.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

The experience Of the young woman
who tried to stop a marriage ceremony
on the ground that she was the legal
wife OF the gFoOm-elect, teaches US that
we should always carry our marriage
certificates with US. This young woman
failed because she couldn't find hers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Not on the Mouth.

philadelphia Public Ledger
Nellie has been very attentive 70
me. and last night he tried 10 kiss
me.
Believed. it's all right TO be at
tentive, but that was OVERRIDING II.
NeIl-Oh, no; he underdid IL be only
succeeded in kissing me on the chin.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

Presidential year or no presidential
year, times are going to De good in
Utah IL 1904. There are too many big
undertakings under way TO head off our
prosperity.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
ttttttsttt ttsskk*ktkkt*ts*saA
: IN LIGHTER VEIN
a - TimeIv Valentine.
10 SENATOR SHOOT.

TO SENATOR sAEooT
Though you deplOre and grieve fun sore
Because we're after you
Twill not avail: We're on your trail.
We want you- yes. we do,
Though you deny. though you may CRY,
I have but one no more
We won't desist We still insist
You have not less than four.
And. Reed old boy twill give Us JOY
TO see you get your rubs.
Dear valentine. were truly thine,
Ten thousand w0men's clubs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

It is quite evident that numerous
ed up with "undigested securities"
said securities are proving fatal to an
average Of a bank or two every day.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

VIII the citizen who doesn't believe
the church interferes in temporal af-
fairs in Box Elder county kindly peruse
The Herald's Brigham City letter this
morning.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Ksarns Nan Discovered.
provo Enquirer. }

j. j. Myers of Salt Lake dropped off at
Provo on his return from SanDete sun
day He is electioneering for himself and
Senator keaTns for delegates to the ma
donal Republican convention.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

Two Ogden boys have been sent to
prison for a year for stealing a key OF
beer. Another lesson IN the evils OF
intemperance.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Punished For Failure.
Provo Enaulrer.N

Two young men We're arrested this
morning for trying to kiss a young lady
Our justice gave them some good father
" advice and fine of $50 each or two
days and half in jail They viii board
at the marshals table for two days and
n half
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

Four Russian cruisers are reported to
ne securing the seas" They haven't
cleaned any japanese battleships off Of
it as yet, however.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Button, Button! What's the ,oddsP
(Grand Valley Times.

V14oIIu diIt9 IILuto.J
The next wedding win be a homicide,
or the next homicide Will be q wedding.
which, 1t don't make any material DIFF
ference, as the result is about the same
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Ternns 81 subsorIptIon

DALI. AND sUNDAY-One month s.
cents; three months. $3.50; one year 5000
SCNDAH-ltne year. 800
SEMI-W EEKLI - TN ADVANCE one
year, $50; six months. sc.
Eastern Offices. ". J. Morton in
Cnarge-150 Nassau street, New York; s.
Washington street. Chicago.
Subscribers wishing address Of paper
changed must give former as wen as
present address. 49,.
All papers are continued until explicit
order is received TO discontinue. All ar
Tearages must be paid in every case.
e--~----~-0---~~~-~----
The Herald can be obtained at these
places:
New York-IV NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.; Imperial.
BOstcn-Toune's hotel.
Chicago - The Auditorium; Palmer
house.
Kansas City-Coates house.
Dmaha-Miliard hotel; Globe News Co.'
Megeatb Stationery Co.
Denver-BrOWn Palace; Hamilton &
kendrick; Pratt Book Store.
San Francisco-Palace heteI; n. Wheat
ley News Depot
Portland. Ore.-POrtland hotel
Los Angeies-Oliyer & Eaines-
Aiuneapo lis-YFest hotel.
st. LOuis-Rhe Planterss the Southern,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14

Yes. the weather is somewhat warm
er, but We wouldnt advise the send
ing out Of any spring poems just yer
awhile.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
10 THE IRRIGATION FUND.

TO HE IRRIGATION FUND.
Oh. dearest fund, for YOU I've gUnned
Through many weary days
I've sought you long and sought you
strong
And sought i'm many ways.
I've tried abuse to jar YOU loose.
I've used tons of statistics
I've used fair talk. and when you'd balk
I've tried some mud balilstiCs.
80 fly to me- J promise thee
To make it quite an object
For You to come and help me some,
Your own Utah Lake Protest.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
HUMOR IN STATE PRESS.
Hard To XIII.


Constable t. \. 8IcCoy OF Elko, Nev,,
the officer who captured Egbert. the MUIR
dereP OF tWo Oregon sheziffs, and who
OF last month. was an ogden visitor to
day the guest of Special officer William
Sullivan 81 the Soulhern Pacific COMPANY.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Moah c. Unefected

itfIaIlu aIIet IlftIea-I
The marriage epidemic continues with
undated visor, but Il doesn't seem 60 ef-
feet the Moab girls.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
A Drawback.


cleveland Plain Dealer)
.-Grigsby married q siri who can
cook if she wants 60.
Lucky Grigsby.'
ooh. dunno. She has never yet
wanted to-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
Wonderful Discoverv Made.

Coalville Times
Sisighine viii soon be a thing OF the
past unless more Snow fails soon.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-14
ENVOL.


o. e n e Cur of
That whose taeh an6ther's that others VIII