davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
Uncle Sam to Miss Canada


I am sorry for you, sister, and know
your case is sad,
And. though mine has been the profit. yet
it hurts me most as bad,
And of course I &c not blame you if you
feel little sore
2tnce my line fence was allowed to run
jam up by your back door.
But remember while in anger you defy
the motherland
With the threat of independence and your
sons undaunted stand
With their bosoms well inflated for a
fercely warlike shout
That your Uncle Sam III git you If you
don't watch out.
II IL do you good to whimper, for you've
not been vexed by strife
And the things most Of us suffer in the
nursery Of life,
And you've yet to learn that living hasn't
quite lost all it's Joy
Just because some bigger infant has pur-
loined treasured toy.
There's hint of future greatness in the
music of your sobs,
And I'm glad your heart. unfettered. at
the thought of freedom throbs,
And hope you'll soon feel better: but. re-
member, when you pout,
That your Uncle Sam IL git you If you
don't watch out
-Willam Upton Talbot in Washington
Post
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
VESTS FEAT OF MEMORY.
Ex-senator Quoted Letter Received
Many Years Ago Without Mistake.

Ex-senator Quoted Letter Received
Many Years Ago Without Mistake.
Senator Francis M. Cockrell was re-
Gently asked as to the health of former
Senator George G. Vest, writes the
Washington correspondent Of the st.
Louis Republic. He said that phys
1cally Senator Vests condition is very
bad, but that his splendid mind is un-
clouded by the Affections of the flesh.
Mr.. Vest is engaged in the prepara
ton Of a number Of articles for pub
ucation and dictates for hours each
day to stenographer on important
historical events of the past
Not long ago Senator Vest was die
tating, Senator Cockrell said. and
reached point where it was necessary
to quote a letter received many years
ago. Without referring to the letter,
which he had not seen for number
OF years, he dictated it from memory.
Members Of his family were so inter
ested in the feat that they looked up
the letter and found that Mr.. Vest had
quoted it literally and without the
slightest mistake
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
CLUB OF FISH EATERS.
Members Of Illinois Society to Use
Meat From Finny Tribe Only.

Members Of Illinois Society to Use
Meat From Ftnny Tribe Only.
Boston, beware!
The center Of learning and brains
will shortly be transferred from the
Hub to Melrose Park, ILL.,, where pro-
tuberant foreheads. shaped like Bart
lett pears, will soon be the rule, says
the Chicago Inter Ocean.
And on what meat will these Melrose
Park neighbors live that they will have
grown so brainy?
Brain food, of course; fish and moth
ing but fish.
Great thinkers and leaders will be as
common as Mary and Ann guests
when the new diet gets in it's fine
work. Goldfish diet is expected to pro-
duce Napoleons of finance, future
Grants will live exclusively on sword
fish,. aspiring young clergymen will
dine on whale, stockholders on suck
ers, coming great critics on carp, ard
an abundance of cod is regarded as
eertain to produce Goldfish aristocracy.
AAAS 10 IAC pIOSAaA OuI14ACu W
the newly formed Fish club Of Mel
rose Park, the members Of which or
,ganization have pledged themselves to
eat no meat except that from the fnny
tribe. The idea of forming such club
suggested itself to Mrs. Joseph NJ.
Goodman when she drew a bowl of
goldfish in rattle at the Sacred Heart
fair. The club was recently organized
with twenty-three members who met
at Mrs. GoOdman's home The name
Of some fish was assigned to each mem
Der, and after cards a fish luncheon
was served.
In former years Melrose Park society
had rooster club and "pig club"
the members of each being pledged to
eat only the meat Of the animals de-
noted by the club name. More than a
thousand letters were sent to these
clubs criticising their diet. These pre-
v1ous clubs partly suggested the Fish
club. Meanwhile various members Of
Melrose Park society are fastening to
get into the swim with the Fish club
before they "get the mackerel eye.''
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
Infant Pr0digality

A01aA1 TEOO18611Cys
my husbands mother said that 4
silver thimble was good thing for 4
baby to cut his teeth on
Ibid you try it?''
Yes, but baby swallowed the Thin
hle."-Chicago Record-Herald.
Daddy stumped.
Willie why can a man run
faster than a boy?
Dad-Because he's bigger.
Willie-Is that it? Then why don't
the hind wheels Of wagon run faster
than the front ones?
But dad gave it up.-Cincinnati CON-
mercial Tribune
Statistics,
"What do statistics show?'' inoufred
the man who was warming up to his
subject
"As rule" answered the man who
Is always doubtful. they don't show
much except patience and industry on
the part Of the man who collected
theo- -"-Wasatngton Stae.
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
Yells at the White House.

Yells at the White House.
The members of the Wisconsin Press
association recently called on the presi-
dent at Washington and were present
ed by Assistant Secretary of the Treas
ury Taylor. The newspaper men were
enthusiastic over their greeting from
the president and held a sort of ratifi-
cation meeting in the executive Office
as though Mr. Roosevelt had already
been renominated and elected, says the
Chicago Inter Ocean. They gave the
college yell of the University Of Wis
consin and three cheers and tiger for
the president. 1t was the lveliest re-
ception that has been held in the presf-
dents Office since Mr.. Roosevelt re-
turned from Oyster Bay.
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23

It was evidently an off day with the
barber, who was thinking Of the mon
ey he had dropped in stock, and he
replied:
ITO with Morgan and Gates!
I've tried to follow their tips and am
up against it."
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
POOR TIPS MIX UP BARBER

He Takes SalutatiOn In German For
Morgan and Gates.
Members of the Chicago board Of
trade are telling an amusing story on
Johnnie Setback, who lives ''by the
mort site out" says the Chicago Inter
Ocean. He went into the barber shop
in the board building the other day to
have the 'fuz scraped off," and he
saluted the barber in German.
The barber did not catch him when
be said:
.tQuten morHeu. Wiz Rehts 2
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
Complicated.

complicated.
"Jack has developed a perfect mania
for borrowing umbrellas"
80? What's his object?"
"Why, he's trying to find the one he
borrowed from Jones and loaned to
Smith. 1t belongs to Brown, who
loaned it to Jones" "-Baltimore News.
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
Might Be Worse or.

She-It must be awful to be buried
al1ve-squeeZed in coffin and unable
to move.
He-Yes, indeed. l tell you, Jane,
there are worse places than this fiat
If you only stop to think about tiles
lies Weekly.
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23
Road and Bridge Fund-Warrants
Issued.

| ENOslO unO Br1U{se F'und-"0rr0ntS..
| Issued.
| 874 Peter Gagnon, assignee
| of Paul Memaskawash,
! days work on road. 49,. S 90
| 1865 in-Western Co., part
| payment on road roller. 800 90
| 1856 AustinW Western Co., bal
| ance on road roller 49,. 375 90
1873 Peter Gagnon. assignee
| of John Michel, o% days
1874 Peter Gagnon. assignee 80
of Will La Plant, 5h
| days work ....... 8 rs
1875 Peter Gagnon assignee
Of Wagtop Thomas, 7h
| days work ........ II 25
| 1876 Peter Gagnon, assignee
of Paul La Plante, 2 days
1877 Peter Gagnon, assignee "
of Will Crawford, 2h
days work ............ 2 so
1873 Peter Gagnon, assignee
of Joe Fisher, Z days
work 49,. ......... ...... 10 so
1879 Peter Gagnon, assignee
of John Clama, days
1880 Peter Peter Gagnon, assignee ~
| of John La Plante, 1h
days work ............. / SO
1
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23

IS G.. A. Houston. services
as county physician 49,.
,2 Gust Olson, board and
merchandise to Paul
Memaskawash and wife.
g Engelson & Totes, mer-
chandise to Otto Oberg.
ID Fngelson & Tofte, lumber
to Oberg
IS Peter GagnOn, merchan-
The Cook County herald., 1904-01-23

914 &. \. Houston, salary as
county physician .....
?13 r. H. Douglas. medicine.
for Paul Mema ska wash.
917 r. H. Douglas, medicine
to Gus Anderson ......
?1S Peter Gagnon, merchan-
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27
TWO NEIGHBORS
BRANCHED OFF

Mrs. Ahung was before Judge Lind
say this morning to answer to a charge
of malicious injury, preferred by Henry
Smith, clerk of the supreme court. Mrs.
Ahung lives in a cottage in a lane close
to the Smith residence on Fort street.
Some of the branches Of some bushes
that grew at the side of Mr.. Smiths
place prOtruded over the fence and in
windy weather these branches would
strike against the house of Mrs. Ahung
causing her considerable annoyance.
In fact they made her nervous.
Mrs. Ahung took the law and a pair
of scissors into her own hand and pro-
ceeded to clip the branches Off Then
she threw the branches into the Smith
yard. Mr.. Smith had the branches
thrown back into Mrs. Ahung's yard,
then Mrs Ahung threw them back into
the Smith place, and the Smiths threw
them back into the Ahung place.
How long this animated ping-pOng
game would have continued is uncer-
tain, had not Mr. Smith tired of the
secure a warrant for the arrest of his
neighDOr. A warrant was ISSUED. MI.
Smith went back anxious to secure the
branches to use them as evidence, but
to his surprise, he discovered that Mrs.
Ahung had desired the branches. While
Mr.. Smith wanted them as evidence,
she wanted them for a bonfire, and, i'm
fact, had reduced the INTO ashes and
charred sticks by the time Mr.. Smith
returned.
c. c. Biting appeared to defend Mrs.
Ahung today He had had photographs
taken of the place showing the denuded
trees and various details. The bonfire
was carefully eliminated however,
from the pictures. Mr.. Biting moved
for the discharge Of the defendant as
soon as the prosecution had closed its
case and the court granted the motion.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27
WAIMEA NOTES.

The Edward May now at Makaweli
loading sugar for San Francisco, will
take with her the following passengers
Mrs. w. 1. Wells and two children, Miss
H. Hahlum Mrs. II. e. Bantam, and
Miss Ethel Bantam.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. b. Hofgaard left
for Koloa on last Thursday to be gone
for a few days.
The delegates from Waimea Repub-
lican Precinct Club, e. Omsted and W,
J. Sheldon arrived on the Kauai last
Friday morning.
Mr.. Mukai a brother of the late DR..
Mukai fell from his horse on Thursday
night and died the following day from
conclusion of the brain. He was
contractor on this Plantation.
Miss Mable G Bantam formerly OF
Waimea school has been transferred to
Makaweli, there taking the place OF
Mrs. Num-, assistant who left some
time ago for Honolulu, having accept
ed a position there.
Mrs. John HOgg of Lihue is over here
spending some time with her parents
and sister, Mrs Faye.
Mrs. Robert Anderson of Honolulu is
visiting with Mrs. Lindsay.-The Gar
den Island.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27
WHOLESALE SUGGESTIONS
MADE IN FREAR'S ANNUAL REPORT
THE CHIEF JUSTICE IN HIS LAST ANNUAL REPORT REC
ONIMENDED TO THE LEGISLATURE AMENDMENTS
CHANGING FOUR OR FIVE HUNDRED SECTIONS OF
THE EXISTING LAWS OF HAWAII

Amendments repeating or changing
four or five hundred different sections
of the laws on Hawaii statute books
We're specifically recommended by
Chief Justice Frear in his last publish
ed annual report to the legislature, ev-
eryOne in the list being a law which he
is required to pass upon from the bench,
as in the case of the county act, in con-
nection with which the chief justice is
accused Of improperly because he sug-
gested technical alterations. The chief
justice sent over forty printed pages Of
such recommendations to the legisla-
ture and many Of them We're acted on.
Frear recommended changes and re-
peals by the wholesale and the follow
ing Introductory remarks by him We're
not made the basis of any comment,
being in line with the customary work
of the head of the judiciary:
AS recommendations will be made i'm
this report for many changes in our
laws, a few general words OF eXpIana-
ton at the outset may assist in making
clearer the object and scope Of these
recommendations and at the same time
make 1t feasible to state them in detail
at less length than might otherwise be
required. The leading purposes that
determine the scope OF these recon-
ImendatiOns are % TO cure the present
defective state of our laws In general
/ CD 20 then put the laws into conve-
uieut form in the shape OF new COM
puaton, and CD 10 modify in various
/ respects, with view 10 their improve
ment the laws relating 20 the judi
| ciary Department
The uusatsfactoriness of the state
OF the laws is constantly Impressed
upon tho court Boo the cases that come
I before a. The first recommendation
J thlI Z make therefore H lhlt lhes.
drurs u thr laws ba cured hy ih'
|ulasasr of number uf separate H..a
/ a simpler melhoi douhurss would Do.
I0 provide mr commission lD compile
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27
IN
COURT AGAIN
sENTATIVEs ON a CHARGE OF DESTROYING VOUCHERS
EXPENsEs-JJRY SECURED AND THE TAKING OF TEs


The House vouchers were once more
in the federal court this morning The
case of the United States against Solo
mon Meheula, clerk of the House of
Representatives, who is charged with
destruction of public documents, was
taken up. The documents in question
are vouchers for session expenses of
the regular session of 1903. There are
four counts in the indictment, alleging
that Meheula destroyed such vouchers.
Meheula was represented by c. w.
Ashford and United States Attorney
Dunno prosecuted. little difficulty
was experienced in getting a jury and
the taking Of evidence was begun be-
fore noon Andrew Adams, Manager
of Kahuku plantation was the first wit
ness called bv Dunno. Adams was the
secretary of the federal Grand jury
which brought the indictment against
Meheula for destruction Of vouchers
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27

and revise all the laws and then to en-
act them as a code. But, whether that
be done or not, it would require a long
period of time, and there would be no
assurance that the legislature would be
sufficiently satisfied with the work of
the commission to adopt it as a whole,
so many important changes are requir-
ed. The laws can be patched up now
by separate acts, upon each of which
the legislature can act at first hand, so
as to meet the immediate needs and at
the same time to greatly facilitate the
work Of a code commission should one
be provided for. The aim should be to
put the laws into such shape separately
as to make possible a compilation OF
them into a concise consistent, effective
whole, which will express the law as
enacted by the Legislature, and which
will stand as such whether it is enact
ed as a code or not by a subsequent
legislature. An attempt win be made
in this report to suggest most of the
changes required to accomplish this
result, pointing out specifically the sec
tons that require amendment or re-
peal.
Most Of these proposed changes
though including some OF great impor-
lance involve no question of a change
of policy; many relate TO matters with
which the judiciary has no direct
connection, and many are Of COM
paratively little Importance re-
garded by themselves But regarded
as parts OF a general scheme TO make
our laws certain ana effective they am.
OF "a very great importance not onll
10 the community regarded from the le
g.slatyr standpoint but also 90 Ih'
Judiciary which has constantly 90 apple
aud yonstwe the laws u rndeayornl
CO. administer Justice
AFTER thr Introduction thr Nhlrl jus
ur srt f0rIh several hundred almond
muu tp auuuH nhI.h hr advised ln
legislature t1 mako
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27

who so cleverly played the Major Cen
eral and, securing a duplicate uniform,
made up in duplicate of Brown and
appeared at the same moment, much
to the establishment of Berger, the
company and the audience. Brown was
of course in the secret and the two af-
ter some discussion matched to see who
should play the role, Dunn losing and
retiring gracefully.
The opera was well sung last night
and warmly received by the audience,
The entire production has been very
successful and has achieved its main
end, that of clearing off the debt on
the chapel organ.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27
There Are Others"
Says Robertson

minds Of a community are more serious
offenses even than attacks upon life
and property said the court. I'VE
all hope for the continued development
and progress of civilization and it is
conceded that anything which corrupts
the minds like publications Of this
sort is an influence against progress
and serious offense against society.
LAS the district attorney has suggest
ed the value of a case Of this sort is
largely educational IT will supply
knowledge to the people and news
papermen of the territory as to the
demands of the law in such matters.
l am aware that there are publications
on the mainland. as suggested by Mr..
Robertson which go through the mails
containing matter which appears to be
improper under the statute but 1t is
not an excuse Tor such ofenses mere
II NAV ue Ih"t 'heIe are oIicers else-
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27
OPERA
..:...:..:..:..:....:........;..t..,...:..s.:..:

This is the period for the world to
laugh. The comedy element has prac-
tically taken possession of the stage,
and it was a matter only of the reading
which led to the purchase, in New York,
of the Beasley and Barton comedy,
THE Ahkund of Swat" In this piece
which is to be produced next week by
local amateurs under the direction
unsteady of Gerard Barton, the COM
poser, and on the stage of w. d. Ad-
ans, almost every character is full Of
comedy. And so fortunate have beeN
the managers that the best known Of
local impersonators are in the cast.
The comedy largely hangs around the
fakir Ahkund and his friend, Henry
! Hawkins, a cockney. Whenever Bax-
! ter, who is working the Indian prince
! fake and Hawkins get on the stage
| there is n laugh coming. In the former
! part the possession of a crystal, which
acts as a medium for the hypnotizing
of the women makes Baxter the real
thing in summer men, and keeps Haw-
/ kins guessing all the time as to wheth-
| er he is a partner or a bloOmin stiff"
The part of the former is one which
gives all kinds of opportunities and
that of the Chinese washman, cook
later, is one which is of the coming
sort, for the humor is spontaneous and
means all kinds of things for the play
er. In the trio made up of the Eng
fish Lord, his New York copy and the
Chicago Pork Packer, there are many
opportunities and IT is safe to say that
none are to be missed
There are a dozen numbers in the
musical end of the production which
will live. There is a sailors chorus and
an ensemble which leads up to a prize
drill, which are as good music as one
can get i'm this day.
The seat sale opens tomorrow morn
ing at o'clock the two performances
being put down for Thursday and Sat,
urday evenings OF next week. May
and eth.
atar Want ads nav at once.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27

This was the jury which dragged the
vouchers from their obscurity, by
means of a subpoena duces tecum, com
manding the clerk to bring the docu-
ments with him to the jury room. Me-
heula did so, and the vouchers have
been in the possession of the federal
authorities ever since, except when they
We're loaned to the Territorial Grand
jury of the last term.
Adams testimony was in relation to
the evidence which was given during
the Grand jury inquisition. The jurors
found { number of the vouchers to be
missing and Meheula is said to have
testified that the ones in question were
once in his possession.
Secretary Atkinson was subpoenaed
to show that the missing vouchers We're
not turned over with the other session
records.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27

Editor Tesla was sentenced by Judge
Dole this morning to pay a fine of 800
and costs Of court for sending obscene
matter through the United states mail.
The sentence is the lowest the Judge
could give under the statute The case
was the first prosecution under the sta
tute i'm question, and a heavy sentence
was. not asked for.
A. G. NJ. Robertson made a plea for
leniency. He said that there were
numerous publications on the main
land which constantly published mat
ter of a worse character than the ar
ticle in the Independent on account of
which the jury found fiesta guilty. 1t
is desirable that the papers of this
Territory should be of as high a stan
dard as those Of the mainland" said
Robertson, but there is no reason why
higher standard should be required
here than in the United States general
~ There are publications, such as
the New York Police Gazette. Vanity
Fair and other racy papers. which in
every issue contain matter more OBJ
| jectionable under the statute than the
article in question in this case. These
papers are sent through the mails on
| the mainland. There are also some
! English publications which are sent
! through the United States mails and
! contain similar matter. | had secured
some samples, burt did not think il
necessary to produce them, as your
Honor is doubtless familiar with tn,
facts
This is the first time that the Law
on this subject has been enforced il
this Territory, and I submit that Their,
is nothing in the case calling for Z
severe punishment"
Assistant District Attorney Dunno
who prosecuted the case, said that tn
case would serve the purposes of edu
cation. AS a first case of the kind H.
did not think it called for a sever
penalt
Judge Dole said that the offense wa
a serious one. 1T is recognized tina
matters which are an attack upon tn
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1904-04-27
WILL
Be RETIRED

b. b. Fender carpenter at the Naval
Station, will probably be retired from
the Naval service. He has received or
ders detaching him on May from duty
at the local station and ordering him to
go to the hospital at Mare Island to be
examined for retirement.
He was injured some years ago while
on one Of the battleships. Mr.. Fender
is well known here as he was formerly
stationed at Honolulu. His friends will
regret to have him depart from Homo
lulu.