The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-10-16

early training, but have never been
able to cross the Ass Bridge, the Forty
seventh problem of Euclid. incidentally,
1 may mention that am a golf player
with handicap of eighteen"
"a double first = commented the pro-
prieter of the Utinam club. II perceive,
Mr.. Indiman, that you are bent, upon
amusing yourself; and since circum-
stances have undeniably favored you, you
may continue to dos But not at my
expense" aid thereupon he mentioned a
figure for initiation and dues that made
me sit up. But Indinan settled without
f1inching; he happened to have his checa-
book with him, and the remaining formalf-
ties were quickly discharged.
And now, gentlemen let me show you
about the Club said DR.. Mugnus, affa-
bly,. VIII you be good enough to follow
me?"
He led sthe4way into the hall, and thence
into the c1oister-lik passage communicat-
ing with the House. in the Middle of the
Block glanced out at the court yard
as we passed window: 1t was ingeniousiy
planned to take the utmost advs ntage OF
it's limited area
An antique Italian fountain occupied a
niche in the opposite wall. and ON either
side were selilia fianked by bay trees IN
tubs and TIVE or three fine specimens of
the Japanese dwarf oak. A bas relief IN
plaster. of the Elgin marbles ran frieze-
like the full length of the party wall. and
fixed Immediately above the fountain
niche the terrible mask of the Medusa
face looked down upon us. The time of
the year being late in March, there was
no snow upon the ground, and could see
that the ground of the court yard was
divided into four garden beds, separated
from each other by narrow paths of
broad, red tile bordered by box. All IN
all it was a charming little bit of formal
gardening, ] could imagine how pretty
it would be on a spring morning, when
the beds should be gay with crocuses and
tulips.
We were admitted into the club proper
by a liveried servant, and from the hand
some oak paneled vestibule we passed
into a lofty apartment hung with pic
lures and filed with miscellaneous OBJ
jects of art. All, without exception, were
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS daubs of painting.
criminal essays in plastic and decorative
work, and a collection of statuary that
could be adequately matched only by the
horrors in Central park. Our art gallery,
gentlemen, explained pr. Magnus-
Art gallery indeed, To men it was the
most melancholy of exhibitions, but Indi-
man was enfaptured.
What a magnificent record of failure.'
he exclaimed. What miracles of inepti-
tude.' and Dr. Magnus smiled. well
pleased.
We assembled to the next floor. Here
was the library, lined ceiling high with
books that had fallen stiil-born from the
press. Gigantic cabinet presses occupied
the center of the ROOM, the final deposl-
tory of countless unavailable" MSS.
In an adjoining room We're glass cases
crowded with mechanical models of un-
successful inventions. Naturally, L ex-
pected to see a large section devoted
to the resolution of the perpetual motion
problem, but in this was disappointed.
not a single specimen of the kind could
discover.
I'VE do not attempt the impossible, :,
explained DR.. Magnus,s dryly. Our fail
ures must be inherent iffS thee man, not in
his subject
There were other rooms, long success
sion of them filed with melancholy evil
dences of incapacity and defeatsin almost
every department of human activity
plans of abortive military campaigns
prospectuses of moribund business enter
prises. architectural and engineering
drawings of structures never to be reared
charts, models, unfinished musical scores
finally a huge papier-mache globe or
which were traced the routes of Mr. Col
man Hoyt's four unsuccessful dashes fol
sight of this vast lumber room, this col
lection of useless f1otsam and jetsam, cas-
up and rejected by the sea Of strenuous
life. Most moving of ALL broken gol
club standing in a dusty corner aud be
side it a wofuliy SCARED and battered
ball I pointed them out to Indiman.
"A fellow sufferer" he said, and sighed
deeply
Last of all were conducted to ths
common room, spacious apartment i'm
mediately under the dome. At one end {
huge stone fireplace, in which fir
cracked cheerfully.
Non Possumus," read Indiman, deci
phering the motto chiseled upon the chin
ney breast. ysS
IAN admirable sentiment indeed. DR.
Magnus, I venture to infer that the Uti
nam club is the child of your own brain
Permit me, sir, to congratulate you-s
glorious inception and carried out to per
lection.
DIR. Magnus smiled frostily. II thanl
you, Mr.. Indiman." he said. staring hare
at him. I'm a civilization SO complex a.
ours the Utinam undoubtedly fills want
And now, gentlemen, if you will excuse
me; have some affairs of moment. Th'
club is yours; make use of it as you will
You are already acquainted with Mr.