The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-11-06

porter came to, and the first day. we stayed in the hotel for fear the negro would see us, as told dad that porter would round up a gang of negroes with razors and they would waylay us and cut dad all up into sausage meat. Dad is the bravest man I ever saw when there is no danger. but when there is a chance for a row he is weak as 8 cat. I spect it is on account of his heart being weak. A mans internal organs are a great study. I spose a brave man. a hero, has to have all his inside things working together, to be real up and up brave, but if his heart is strong. and his liver is white. he goes to pieces in an emergency, and if his liver is all right, and he tries to fight just on his liver, when the supreme moment ar rfves, and his heart jumps up into his throat, and wabbles and beats too quick, he just Hunks. would like to dissect . real brave man, and see what condition the things inside of him are in, but 1t would be a waste of time to dissect dad. cause know all his inner works need to go to a watchmaker and be cleaned, and . new handspring put in.
 We'll. this morning dad shaved him self and got on his frock coat, and his silk hat, and said we would go over to tu6 WklJ5 uOuSo anu nave n LdAh With Teddy, but first he wanted to go and see where Jefferson hitched his horse to the fence when he came to Washing ton to be inogerated, and where Jack son smoked his corn cob pipe, and swore and stormed around when he was mad, and to walk in the same paths where Zachariah Taylor Backed, Buchanan catched 1t, and Lincoln put down the rebellion, and so we walked over toward the white house and was scandalized. I stopped to pick up a stone to throw at dog inside the fence, and when I walked along behind dad. and got a rear view of his silk hat, | 1t seemed as though could sink ! through the asphalt pavement, for he had on an old silk hat that he wore be- fore the war, the darndest looking hat | I ever saw. the brim curled like a min- strel show hat, the fur rubbed off in l some places. and he looked like one of
 these actors that you see the pictures | of walking on the railroad track, when | the show bust up at the last town. l think a man ought to dress so his young son won't have a fit. I tried to get dad to go and buy a new hat, but he said he was going to wait till he got to London. and buy one just like
 King Edward wears, but he will never | get to London with that hat, cause
 tonight I will throw it out of the ho- tel window and put a piece of stove
 pipe in his hat box.
 l Well, sir, you wouldn't believe 1t, but we got to the white house without be- ing pulled, but 1t was close shave,
 cause everybody looked at dad. and put their forefingers to their foreheads
 for they thought he was either a crank, | or an ambassador from some turin
 country. The detectives got around dad ! when we got into the ante-room, and began to feel of his pockets to see if | he had a gun, and one of them asked
 me what the old fellow wanted, and l | told them he was the greatest bob cat | shooter in the west, and was on his way to Europe to invite the emperors
 and things to come over to this coun- | try and shoot cats on his preserve | We'll, say, you ought to have seen how
 they stepped to one side and waltzed around, and one of them went in the
 next room and told the president dad
 was there. and before we knew 1t we
 were in the presidents room, and the
 president began to curl up his lip, and
 show his teeth like some one had said
 rats" He got hold of dads hand, and dad backed off as though he was
 afraid of being bitten, and then they
 sat down and talked about mountain H. Oh Cdt ShOONAh6e dAlu uttu Sdlu He had a 22 rife that he could pick a cat
 off the back fence with every time, out
 of his bedroom window, and began to
 look around at the pictures. Dad and the president talked about all kinds of l shooting, from mud hens to moose and then dad told the president he was going abroad on account of his liver and wanted a letter of introduction to some of the kings and emperors, and queens, and jacks, and all the face cards, and the president said he made it a practice not to give any personal
 letters to his friends. the kings, but
 that dad could tell any of them that he
 met that he was an American citizen
 and that would take him anywhere in
 Europe. and then he got up and began
 to show his teeth at dad again. and
 dad gave him the hailing sign of dis
 tress of the Grand Army and backed out, dropped his hat. and in trying to
 pick it up. he stepped on 1t. but. that
 made 1t look better. anyway, and we found ourselves outside the room, and a lot of common people from the coun- try were ready to go in and talk poli-
 tics and cat shooting.
 l Well, we looked at pictures and saw
 the state dining room where they feed 50 diplomats at a time on mud turtle and champagne, and a boy about my
 size looked sort of disdainful at me
 and I told him If he would come out
 side would mash his jaw, and he said
 I could try it right there if I was in a hurry to go, and I was starting to give
 him swift punch when a detective
 took hold of my arm and said they couldn't have any scrap there, cause