The San Francisco call., 1904-09-20

Milk punch has been proved a de-
strover of homes. Detective Anthony
appeared before Judge Mogan as
witness 10 the character Of Thomas
C5orham and constituted himself at
torney for the defense Of the seductive
beverage.
Mr.. Gorham is sober man" as
serted the detective He never
drinks anything but milk punches.
Gorham's wife, whose nose was
broken ? few weeks ago by the hus-
band who drinks only milk punches,
took the stand. Those milk punches
broke up my home" she said. They
are running the entire neighborhood.
The court refuses to act as referee
for a bartenders' contest, SAID MS
Honor. but from what L have read
and heard and seen, milk punch con-
tains some Of that stuff-lets see, II
recall the name in a minute-oh, yes,
whisky. Under that innocent lacteal
fluid in the punch turks the stuff that
biteth and stingeth. Without heslta-
ton the court pronounces milk Punch
an intoxicating beverage. Thomas.
why did you break your good ladys
nose2"
well. Judge, 1 didn't exactly break
it" answered Gorham. You see, we
had little family party and l guess
in the excitement I must have handed
her one or two wallops. 1 didn't mean
anything. Everybody was having a
good time and I was feeling kind of
good myself. j just broke II Tor
Joke, your Honor"
You threatened 10 kill Mrs. Cor
ham with a stove lid, did you not?"
That was Just a little fun. your
Honor. Seems 10 me the old lady
can't take a joke any more. Maybe
might have thrown the lid at her, but
a
twenty years Of married bliss"
We'll. you pay your wife $40 a
week and keep away from her" or
dered Judge Mogan.
But" protested Gorham, I'm a
shingler and don't work during bad
weather"
I don't see any storms coming
down the coast" replied the Judge.
I think that in your case it will be
sunny weather for some time"
Gorham took the hint.
Just when we had six bathers
boiled and ironed in the drying-room,"
said l. Stradling Of the Mason-street
Hammam Baths 10 Judge Mogan yes
terdsy, the Poppy Cafe dropped
about three gallons Of dishwater down
on them.
1T wasn't to-day's dishwater,
either. II was some that Mrs, Punt.
who runs the Poppy, had been saving
for month or so. One of the bath
ers awakened by the slop bath, shout
ed, Cut out there. didn't order a
mud bath / want a warrant for
thar woman for arson, or manslaugh-
ter. or something.
According 10 Stradling the presid-
ing goddess Of the Poppy is nettled by
his refusal to trade customers. You
wash and I'll feed" suggested the
fair keeper Of the resort with fiowery
name. But Stradling refused.
saturday night a group Of bathers
lay slumbering on the drying counters.
From the skylight trickled a shower
bath. Judge Mogan granted a war
rant for Mrs. Punt on a charge Of
malicious mischief.
Steve Mecca's Mecca appears to be
the TOD floor of the Hall of Justice.
He made one Of his Dilgrimages TO
that place Sunday night A woman
was at the bottom Of his troubles. OF
course, autographed circus rider on
2 poster.
With one coquettish red paint limb
tucked gracefully behind her left ear
the paper lady smiled at Steve
through the window Of r. Pineda's
grocery on Montgomery avenue.
As Steve, filled with ardor and the
ardent vino, gazed at the paper
charmer miracle occurred. The
poster girl winked one eye and smiled
tenderly upon him. Like Galatea. she
had come 10 life.
Nothing but thin layer Of glass
separated Steve from lis beloved. Gu
pid, who has the ha-ha. on locksmiths
is also the open shop kid as far as
the Glaziers' Union is concerned.
From the desert I come TO thee"
warbled the impetuous lover and
plunged headlong through the glass.
The police found him kneeling at the
feet of the circus poster. Judge
Conlsn told him to pay for the win
dow and TO become woman hater.
An overwhelming desire to taste
chop suey and noodle soup brought J.
o. Raimey and John Crippenback be-
fore Judge Conlan. Against them ap-
peared Fat Lung and his seventeen
cousins, who conduct the Oriental
hashhouse where the epicureans dined.
Two men come my lestlant," said
Fat Lung. They say, John. you got
TEN chop suey2' I say allight. Bime-
bye eat 'em I'D, say 10 cents apiece.
They say no gotten. Wha' for =?
Wha's malla2 One man he pour
noodle soup down my neck. I say,
You look out Then he puttem chop
suey in my eye. say 'Policeei'
Pleeceman he TAKEN away.
My cousin, he see. He very good