The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-10-23

had a spat with a neighbor, both iv thm ordhered hats at tn hardware store an wint out an pounded thm till their head ached. That's tn way 1t ought to be. Supposin' tn Czar iv Rooshya an tn Mikado iv Japan fell out. What wud be dacinter fr thim thin to have a gintle- manly mix-up? Nick Romanoff tn Rush van champeen. an Mike Adoo, tn cilly- braed Jap'nese Jiu Jitsu bantam, come together las night befure a crowd iv rip- resentative spoorts in a barn on tn out skirts iv tn city. Tn Rooshyan was sec- onded by Faure, tn French lightweight. an Bill Honezollern. tn Prooshyan whir- wind. In tn Jap's corner was Al Guelph, who bate .h' Llama iv Thibet las week, an Rosenfelt, tn American champeen who has issued a def to tn wurruld. Be- fure tn gong sounded tn Jap rushed over an sthruck tn Rooshyan a heavy blow beneath tn belt. A claim iv foul was enthered but not allowed. At tn tap iv tn gong both boys went at 1t ham mer an tongs. but it was soon apparent that tn Rooshyan, though heavier was not in as good condition as his oppon- ent. It was Walcott an ChoynsN all over. on'y tn Rooshyan hung on with gr-reat courage. At tn end iv tn twen- tieth round, whin both boys were on tn ropes. tn refree, tn well known fight promoter, Misther Rothschild, declared tn bout dhraw. Considerable bad blood was aroused be a claim be tn fighters that durin tn battle they were robbed iv their clothes by their seconds. As a financial enterprise tn fight was a frost. Tn box office receipts did not akel tn rent iv tn barn an thrainin' expinses, an tn ref'ree decided that as tn fight was a dhraw he was entitled to tn stakes.
 "Wudden't 1t be fine? Who wuddent walk to Bloomington Illinye, to see that sturdy but prudent warryor, tn King iv England, mixin' 1t up with tn Llama iv Thibet or our own invincible champeen takin' on tn Imp TOT iv Germany? ?If they didn't like tn weepins, they'd have me permission to use axes. I'd go further. I wuddent bar annybody firm fghtn' who wanted to fight. If anybody felt tn martial spirit in time, he wud have a chance to use it up. I'd have armies com- posed only iv officers. It wud be gr-reat. Dye s'pose they'd iver get near enough to each other to hurt? They'd complain that tn th.ouble with tn long distance guns was that they cudden't be made dis tant enough. Supposin' Gin'ral Kurypot- kin had to do all tn ightin fir himsilf. It wud be betther fir him, because thin he cud ordher an advance without bein' so crowded comin back. Supposin', to gratify his heeryoic spirit. he had to odher himslf to carry a thrunk, COOK stove, a shovel. a pick-axe. an ikon an a wurrud iv good cheer firm tn czar two hundred miles over a clay road, an 1T he did it successfully an didn't spill amy thing. he might hope to be punctured with a bayonet. An suppose Gin ral Oyama had to walk barefooted acrost Manchuria an subsist fir four months be whettin' his beak on cuttle-hsh bone How soon dye think there wud be bat tie? War wud be wan continyous man. cover with wan iv thim manooverin' west and tn other manocverin east. They'd niver meet till years afther tn gloryous struggle.
 They'll niver do it." said Mir. Hen ressy There have always been wars"
 An fools" said MT. Dooley.
 But wudden't ye defind yer own fire side?''
 .I don't need to-" said Mir. Dooley 'If I keep on coal enough, me freside will make it too hot fr annywan that in- vades It."