The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-06-10
GOD sToRIEs - Tod

GOOD STORIE
George AIDE. at a recent banquet. was
asked TO speak on success. Il suppose
that failure is more familiar than sue
cess to all of US. he said. Eve work
away. Four things fail The fifth
thing succeeds. The hardest workers
have the most failures, but then they
have the most successes. TOO.
zone of nay early failures was
Wel0drama that 7 Travelled all the way
from Chicago to New York to sen to
a manager This was in my youth,
VIXEN / had confidence i'm myself. The
manager returned my melOdrama. He
said he didn't care Tor it,
II pointed out the merits in Sc which
he had overlooked. j proved that he
would make a sreat mistake If he
should not accept this work. But he
shook his head.
Can't you use it at ALP i asked,
desperately.
Wen, SAID he, ! might grind 1T up
and use il for a snoWstOrm-' Success.
"a recent incident which occurs to
my mind relates 10 q joke played upon
me during the engagement of The Of
Frank Daniels ''What IS generally re-
garded as the song hit of the piece is
ditty written especially for me by
Paul West and John BrattOu, entitled,
I'm on the Water Wagon Now. As
the title indicates the song tells the
story OF a man who has had all sorts
of experiences with John BarleycOrn,
but who has reformed.
81 carry through "a portion of this
saTa.a N. al
Opade, which / suck through a straw.
Some joker in the company substituted
! a Scotch highbaIl for the lemonade one
night, and YOU can imagine the trouble
1 had Stimulating my delight i'm being
on the water wagon, when 1 had TO
sick through a straw glass of rather
bad scotch whisky Popular Maya
zine
a few weeks before last Christmas
the empress, while cOnVersing at re-
! ception us the Berlin palace with a
/ baroness whose husband is very rich,
was asked by her what things in the
world she liked best
Your majesty. excuse my question. "
/ the baroness added. but 1t would be a
/ great honor il I could do something 10
/ please YOU"
The empress smiled in her motherly
way.
My dear, she replied, ''it would not
/ be possible for you to give the things /
/ like best, for 1 already have them
Indeed, your majesty" said the bar
0ness. may L make bold to ask what
+ they are?"
L can tell you very readily" said
/ the empress. There are four things
1 prefer to ali others, and they all be-
/ gin with a k They are my kaiser
1 (emperor), my kinder (chndren), my
kirChe church,, and my Euche tkitCh-
/ en-. Emperor William in Private
/ Life in Everybody's Magazine.
/ Governor 4. p. Montague of Virginia ie
/ a good story teller as well is a wise and
progressive chief magistrate AT Hamp-
ton institute he compared the never fail
/ ing sense OF justice between man aHo
man to the uuchduglng north star. dnu
told story of q sagacious old slave ia
the year OF the falling stars
( The negro was on a plantation on am
island in the Rappahaunock TlFer. ON
I the night of the most terrific meteogiC
/ shower the negroes were ali assembled
( on the shore. weeping, shouting, and
/ above all, praying VQciterously. BUT ohs
I old slave, Uncle Caesar by name, off aL
( one side under a pine tree, was making
|no sound and uttering no prayer. lie had
rigge5 a sort OF sQuint with a pole dnl
/ had it trained on point IN the skies
I BY and bv one of the other negroes came
/ along and said. "UucIe Caesar. amt ID
l bout time you begun 60 pray Not w.t.
/ said Caesar Il got my pole p.nfed at df
! no tn star, an when dat ar pegins ~
! fizzle an fool den Pm gWine ter GIT down
1 an pray-nOt before. New York Mail
Sneaker Cannon has the faculty oil
making his repartee fit special cases, says
3 the New York Times.
! Il hear you have refused the vice presl-
dental candidacy said party TREND
Han I'd
( the sage of the house of representatives.
/ what did you do it fOr2'
/ AS Kim O Kim of Korea puts lt, fol
/ the reason that when the sage plays The
. ak handle IOts."
/ The wife of a distinguished congress
1 man is enduring some good naLured chaLI
+ over the recent failure Of theory Whlcf
[ she has held as TO che uses OF memory
, systems. Not long agO at : large dlnnel
. she was telling remarkably gifted mar
/ who she had lately met, but whose name
II am sure she said. while the com
/ pauy waited eagerly Tor the system tt
. work. 81 am sure his name began with Is
I and had three syliaDles "a long pause
/ "Oh. yes. / remember she announced
I finally; 1t was Moore
I John T. Sullivan. at his recent Bostor
/ benefit said to two school boys who ap.
/ peared to shake his hand
/ Boys. If YOU want 10 set on do YOU
I work Work is the only thing TO make
men happy and successful
! Don't Ee like the lad who worked 50
badly that when his father wrote TO the
boss OF the concern asking where his sol
/ slept the answer sent back was:
/ Your son sleeps in the shop in the
daytime but we don't know where ht
/ sleeps at night
Owen Wister, the novelist, was talking
! about puns.
/ Il detest puns." he said "but Fanny
/ Kemble who was my grandmother, uset
Z to tell one made by a certain BaroT
( RCthschild that was good of its kind.
The baron was dining out and some
[ one spoke OF VenisOn.
"T' said the baron. 'uevair eats ven
| ishon. ] think it ish not SO cOOt as NUT
ton
'' on, absurd" someone exclaimed. I'll