West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-07-07
WEARY WILLIE WRITES
Again About His Travels aud Political
Work.
Dear Editor ARGUS.


According TO the Rambler's request. I
packed all my worldly effects which CON
sisted OF Two old tomato cans. one coat. no
/ sleeves. back sone. and my hat the Rambler
had gave me before we parted. IL has an
automatic crown in u which Is used as a
ventilstor. After packing mp struck the
ties for Tunnelton with great enthusiasm
for great was my expectation and comfort
l would have in meeting my old friend once
more. made 1unnelton from nay old
Austen camp In one hour--quiie an exertion
for one OF my profession.
As passed West End Lee Cockrell gave
me word ofcomfort and wired theRambler
| at the Coal Center that "WiiIy Is coming"
I uudged my way over the hill counting
the telegraph poles Tor amusement AsI
approached the East End OF the big
Tunnel heard a terrible noise, great
| CHATTER and blowing OF horns. I approached
very cautiously down close to a house. Thc
surrounding looked like they might have
some kind OF liquid element on tap. But
as cautiously moved up saw that the
Rambler was there carrying an old tin pan
and small stick There we're several
others with the Rambler. discovered. AS
1
and commenced beating on his tin pan aud
following Welcome willy. After the
racket stopped | grasped the Rambler's
hand in a royal welcome. The Rambler
introduced me to his friends Senator
Sammy Montgomery. carrying large tin
horn. DR.. Bone with a big horse fiddle
Squire Eugene McGnnis carrying an old
phosphate box on long pole with big
letters made with axle grease. Welcome
Weary Willy" Several others with various
struments Of noise followed The
Rambler didn't give me their names After
they had gave me- this royal welcome they
reformed in procession and put me on a
crippled mule. The Rambler walked by
my side. the banner bearer in front, DIR.
and Sammy In the rear. blowing the horn
and playing the fiddle and we marched 10
the Rambler's private Office under the
Company Store. When we went in the
Office was greeted by man with smooth
face. rather tall The Rambler said
Dear Willy, this is our Financial Agent.
This name is profound secret and is
never spoken to any one and as / instruc,
you in this political business that | want
you to engage in. you will earn his duty
bering his promise TO shave me aud cut my
hair. he proceeded TO hone his razor on a
soft brick that laid close by After getting
good edge the Rambler proceeded "a
shave and cut my hair. something thai
hadn't been done since Grover Cleveland
went out OF Office. After got fixed up you
would have thought me some new candi
date
The Rambler then proceeded TO tell me
all about politics. He said Willie. We
have great many kinds OF 'ites" in poll
tics. First we have the Dawsonites. the
Teterites. the Montgomeryites and tho
Flynnites. which our financial agent knocked
out OF the ring over at Moorefeld before
the Parsons Convention. Now we want 10
give these Dawsonites the same kind oil
knockout blow. Now. dear Willie what
we want you to do is to locate the weak
kneed Dawson delegate who is willing &c
sacrifice their honor for mess OF pottage
and little additional siimulent for the
stomacll's sake. We have plenty to spend
Make report 10 our mysterious man and
lie will close the contract with them and
will send the reterite OH their road re joic
ing as we did the Montgomery ites and leave
1.-THE Dawsonites and Flynnites to perish b,
the wayside. Willie, you must learn some
big words and use them frequently. Such
words as 'fabbergasted This word be
longs to Sammy; lie used IL IN his campaign
In mineral county. IT was a very fetchipe
word. 1t is not copyrighted aud is al
right il II brings the votes. Use pun and
punnery frequently they belong to lin
Lenhart He wore them out when he ran
for sheriff and gave them to Jim Flynn &c
use at the primary. but Jim punned toe
much at Parsons. while Sammy and Ran,
got in the habbegdsters."
With these few Instructions. proceeded
on my way to look after the weak kneed
delegates proceeded first to DR.. Bone,
house and solicited small hand out which
the genial DR.. gave me with smile. Then
proceeded down the street to Col
Lavelle's and solicited another hand.out
The Col. very quickly complied with my
request and gave me very liberal supol,
OF bread on a ham As buried my face IN
The Colonels generosity discovered a yer,
decided Democratic flavor. I knew a,
once that the Colonel wasn't a delegate
proceeded on my way inquirIBg after tbe
Judases. When I return / will give Ths
Argus full report of my success as !
politician.
Yours with comfort.
WEARY WILLIE
lunne lien, July Ist. 1904.
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