Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1904-02-25

'Iell us about IL, l said "A yarn
will be a change after so much bill
liards."
"Oh, there isn't much to tell" re-
piled our host; but if you'd like to
hear it I'll tell you, if only to give
you an idea of the way the Marlborough
Sherlock Holmes goes to work.
Paul is a scientific friend of mine,
bachelor and good fellow, but the
most nervous of men. There's a big
orchid-growing establishment here,
and as Paul is writing book about
orchids, he has taken rooms in the
town for a month of two, while he's
pursuing his studies. AS | said, he's
| the most nervous man | ever knew,
and one of his special nightmares is
| burglars-why can't think, for he has
nothing that's worth any ones while
| to burgle. All the same, whenever
| he's changing his lodgings (and he's
| frequently changing them) he makes
| it condition that he himself shall be
| allowed to lock up the house every
| night, to assure himself that alPs
| right, having castiron conviction
| that every maid-servant is either a
| fool, to whom the would-be burglar
makes love for his own nefarious pur-
pose, or else that she is nothing more
| than a thief herself and the accom-
| plice of thieves.
| Anyhow, before taking rooms here
| Paul made the usual stipulation about
being allowed to lock up, and, al
though the people Of the boarding
house thought it queer, they raised no
| objection, especially as Paul pays
| promptly and never disputes a bill.
Such thing as a burglary is almost
unknown in Marlborough, but one night
there was a burglary at the boarding
house, and whether it was what the
| German poet Heine called the satire
| of the Almighty, or whether the thief
was a humorous cuss Gas some of our
| profession occasionally are), and hav-
| ing heard about Paufs little fad,
| thought he'd have a joke as well as a
burgle, you must decide for yourselves
All l can tell you is that every single
| article that the thief of thieves took
away belonged to poor Paul-his new
great-coat, his boots, his umbrella, his
clean linen just home from the laun-
dry, his slippers and his stick, yea,
everything that was his. OF course,
he got no sympathy. The landlord,
though very upset about such an un-
heard of thing happening at his house,
could scarcely refrain from smiling;
the servants giggled whenever they
passed Paul on the landing, and the
AL ll,l 1I,n 1, ~;
fulS. The only person who looked
solemn was our friend the constable,
| who came down at once when Paul sent
word to the station. Paul is always
afraid of the powers that be. Official
ism overawes him, and when the
pompous policeman fixed sternly Of
fetal eye upon the poor little chap and
put two or three searching questions,
my friend got so confused and self
conscious that he afterwards confided
to me he more than fancied that the
officer suspected him of being the thief
himself. However, he did his best to
concisate the representative of the
law by inviting him very respectfully
into the sitting-room, where he pulled
forward his snuggest char, brought
out his best Scotch and placing a
Syphon of soda and a box of fragrant
Havanas upon the table, invited Mr..
Policeman to help himself This the
legal sleuthhound condescended to do
pretty literally, too-and while Paul
in his apologize way particulariZed his
losses, the Marlborough luminary sat
with knitted brows and pursed lips,
looking as learned as a judge. Find
ing the cigars so good and the whisky
so much to his liking, he expressed a
wish--when he had heard Paul out
that the officer next above him should
be consulted The maid was duly dis
patched to request the presence of the
official in question, to whom on his ar
rival his colleague passed the cigars
and whisky, with the request that Paul
would run over the details again
THE newcomer, after some consid-
Grafton, was convinced that nothing
could be done without Sergt Davis.
Once more the housemaid was put into
requisitioD, once more Paul told his
story, once more the cheering cup
went round, and once more the sooth-
ing weed was kindled. The sergeant
made a very serious business both OF
the whisky and Of the robbery. He
shook his head solemnly at the de.
canter as each detail was related, and
declared, after hearing Paul to the
end, that the matter was too serious
for him to deal with, and that the SUI
perintendent must at once be sent for.
well, to make long story short,
poor Paul had the entire staff of the
station at his place, where they stayed
knocking their heads together and pun
ishing his whisky and his weeds until
the decanter was empty and the fire.
place was strewn with cigar stumps.
Then the superintendent took Paul
aside with the air of a cabinet minister
communicating state secret and told
him not to be uneasy, for, though he
wasn't, for official reasons, at liberty
to go into particulars just then, he
might tell Paul in confidence that
| h. II.