The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-03-06
IN THE MAITER OF HIS N|BS


Meantime James Olson discovered
that he had lost his watch.
When James Olson of the naughty
! city discovered that he had lost his
watch, the first step he took in regard
| to it was admirable. The first step.
| to be Irish was to stand still and
mediate ON what his metaphysical dou-
BILE should say to Mrs. Olson OF the
other city; in particular If the AFFAIR
| should reach the newspapers and the
| omnisciept reporter should employ ms
| inalienable right of pertinent scandal.
| He escaped with all possible haste
from the witnesses Of his mischance
and declined to give his name.
| Dison's second step was to seek out
| the front office and obtain private In
teryieW with the chief; and here for
moment he made blunder. He hao
the temerity to demand favor before
he had founded it's Indispensable basis
] in friendship. The chief paused in the
midst of his scrutiny of a pile of docu-
mentS; official business was suspended
| everywhere within ear shot, and Mr..
Olson listened to the voice of authority.
| The chief was a man of wrath; his
speech was rude and his figure of rhe-
toric unconventional.
mo. will not. You will take your
chances like anybody else. will keep
nothing quiet Every dashed upstate
son of hayrick thinks he can come
| down here and play the goat and go
back home an forgit it. If my towns
| tough it's you boosters that come down
! here an turn yourselves loose an make
it so. And it's me the newspapers
roast"
At this point James Olson Of the
naughty city was inspired to remember
| that James Olson of the good little city
owned a block of delegates at the state
capital and was high in the good graces
of a great patronage. He recited his
titles to respect and mentioned the
great patronage.
81 don't care who you are or who you
know" Numbered the Olympian in a
passion of rectitude that made him SUI
perior to grammar; II don't owe you
money nor anybody else; you can go
tell him so. I'm not put here to do ia
vors; I'm put here to execute the law,
and you bet your life I'll do it!'
This was diplomacy. There forms Of
speech in the great republic which it
needs a long initiation to interpret;
| and James Olson was initiated. The
| chief had the most exalted friendship
for the great parsonage Mr.. Olson had
| named. 1t was the custom of that
great parsonage from time to time,
| when he suffered with the spleen, to
speak his mind to the chief with an
unFeserve which made the chiefs eyes
water-with affection! When Mr. Olson
had withdrawn from the front Office,
the chief made the telephone wires
hum with hurry-up calls to trusted
lieutenants with names suggesting that
gifted race whose people can govern
everybody except themselves. When
Mr.. Olson returned with his creden-
tials his reception reminded him that
] Mr.. Olson of the other place was not
the only man in the naughty city who
is blessed with metaphysical double.
Have already moved in that matter
of yours, Mr.. Olson; an accident that
might happen to any gentleman.
Even to an upstate son Of hay
rick" said the facetious Olson.
Il will have your property delivered
to you at 8 in the morning at your no
tel" said the chief; "and meantime If
there are any little corners of the city
that you would like to look into,
shall be glad to place a competent
guide at your dispoSalv
81 might find some things that would
be of service to me in directing our
home interests; am actively employ
8 ed in local affairs, said Mr.. Olson
Happy to be able to do anything
for you I cam" said the chief, offering
the glad hand.
"a pleasure to have made your ac-
quaintance," said Mr.. Olson, accepting
the glad hand.
This also was diplomacy; the rest
was business. The chiefs face when
he met his lieutenants was a hurry up
order perSonified. He named a dozen
powers and potentates by their homes
de guerre and indicated their CUSTOM
airy place of resort. His instructions
were fgurative: Rake this town
with a fine tooth-comb; 1 want 'em
stand kindness, pinch en-
There is wireless telegraph system
in the Under World which is quite as
effective as Marconi'S, and it was soon
noised about among the guns that
there was to be a roundup at the
front office. The interview took place
in the chiefs private Office.
Curly" he asked in confidential
tones. addressing the man from FRS
co. what do you know bout the
touch that was pulled off over in Jer-
sey this morning on the trolley? Some
body got thimble (watch) and a
roll o, dough-
First I've heard of it, chief. I don't
know nothin'."
Its up to you, McKlowd"
| I'm dead about it, too, chief. Just
got out a-bed a little while before
| Curry found me-"
"How about you, Billy?"
Dead, too. Keeps me busy keepin
; track O. touches this side of the river
| We'll, a touch came off, an I want
the thing cleared UP. I'll give it to
you fellows straight-the touch never
: should "a come off, an it's up to me to
: get the gun an the things. I've got you
up here to read the riot act to you, an
you'd better read it to the rest O. the
: gang. I've been easy on some O. you
: blokes cause I know t you've got fam
lilies here an want to stay with 'em
: but I'll tell you on the level that if you
don't cough up that gun I'll put a
/ dead-line around this whole town
Now, you can take your choice. That's
all I've got to say to you; but I want
z you, McKlowd, to wait little.'
} The consultation with McKlowd was
short but significant.
: "Ruderick, 1 might as well give yor
the truth as steer. The sucker that