The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1904-07-09

dWlully SCdTcu pO-udy' JOuh anu Wcfe
out taking a walk. and we met the min
lister, and John asked him to Join us.
Skinflint-If anything should happen
to me, dearest, you will be all right
I've just insured my life. But sup.
pose nothing does happen to you?-
Life.
First What's that loud
humping noise in the kitchen? Second
Boarder-It's the landlady hammering
the steak and wishing it was the beef
trust.
Mrs. Casey-The 6octhor says We
how appendicitis. Tim. Mr.. Casey
Och. Norah, Norah! whoy wor We so
foolish as to show him yure handbook!
Judge.
Jemima-Why does dat Paderoosky
McGinnis wear his hair so long? Mi
nerva-Why, don't yer know dat he's
de champeen mouth-organ player of de
block ?-Chicago Daily News.
1.-The reason l can't get along with
my wife is that she wants to submit
all our differences to arbitration" ITO
arbitra tion?" YES She always wants
to refer disputes to her mother"
Great guns" exclaimed the absent
minded man: Il just stuck the lighted
end of this cigar in my mouth" How
fortunate you were in discovering II
at once, dear" rejoined his good wife,
Woman is naturally of clinging
nature" observed he Yes" rejOined
his wife. but she isn't to be compared
with a man when it comes to holding
on to a fve-dollar bill."-New Yorker
Grinnand Barrett - What cured
Cawlboy of his desire to be TRACE
dian? Irving Henry-The open-air
treatment. He walked home from
Fon- du-Lac with the thermometer at
zero.-Ex.
Mr.. Meddergrass-Who yer sendin
the sheep to. Bill? Mr. Ragweed-
Why, my son Zeb's up to college tryin'
fur sheepskin he says. and I'm goin
ter surprise him with a hull critter.-
Chicago Post.
DR.. Ketchum-By Jove. These cab
companies certainly know how to
charge. His Whichever mind. dear
It's lucky that the president of the
company is patient Of yours
Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Cobwigger-So your husband
thinks his position in society is now
secure? Mrs. NewrIch-Yes. He Is so
sure about 1t that he has stopped hir.
ing q dress suit, and Is having one
made to order.-Judge.
Amateur-This IS my latest attempt
at landscape. May l ask what you
think Of the perspective? Artist-The
perspective is its strong point. The
further away you stand the better il
looks.-Chicago Tribune.
Mr. Chtc-My automobile nervea
didn't cut any dash at all at the sana-
forum. Mrs. Chic-Why not? Mr..
Chic-Oh. the doctors were all wildly
enthusiastic over a man who has fly.
ng-machine nerves.-Puck.
The importunate lover had just pro-
posed. LET your answer be vowel.
with a consonant on either side of it,"
he gently begged her. The charming
girl smiled VERY WELL" she said.
"Git!'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A child thrust: you never saw my
reproachfully. to her little S-year-old
girl "'Cause | never saw you when
you were little girl" was the prompt
answer.-Glasgow Evening Times.
I'm India BARRIERS rank high. Social.
ly they are the equals of the priests"
Say. where do poets come in over
there?" Same place they do here"
where's that" among the illustri.
Gus dead" Chicago Record Herald.
Teacher-In the sentence. MARY
milks the cow" what is the word cows
.Iohnny-Cow is noun. feminine gen
der, and stands for Mary. Teacher
What nonsense! Why does COW stand
for Mary? Johnny-SO Mary can tend
to the milking
Van Dauber-So old Gotrox fell In
love at first sight with that impossible
Jones girl. Why, she Is perfect
freak! Friend-Just so. Do you know,
old chap, 1t wouldn't be bad idea to
get the old boy around to look at your
pictures.-Puck.
Noozy-Ihen you don't believe in
man marrying his deceased wife's sis.
ter? Henpeck-Well, certainly be-
neve that a man who would rush into
a thing like that doesn't deserve 10
have lost his first wife at all.-Phila.
delphia Ledger.
Good-morningw said the old gentle
man. I'D like to look over some of