The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-07-12
THE NONPAREJL MAN

/ AL NVNE AA&Jl WAN
Chapter How WHY Editor Appeared
to Score on the Barber Who Played the
Cornet Next Door-chapter ll.-ln
Which the Barber Came Back at the
MouIder OF Public Opinion and Banged
Him on the Solar PIexus With an In
padded Fence Picket.
Probably one Of the best jokes noted
In the exchanges of late is on the '.Ye
Editor" The barber next door to the
newspaper office, we mention no names,
was Pleased to exercise the cornet by
dragging out of it an assorted variety
OF toots while the editor was trying to
mould public opinion. The result was
that 1t wouldn't take shape worth cent,
aud the paper suffered.
Last week the editor got willy and adj
|vertised a cornet for SALE A farmer came
IN and offered to buy It, The editor took
the farmer into the barber shop and told
the barber he might strike a bargain
price Tor his cornet. The barber swal-
lowed the bait and sold the instrument
The editor was ticxled almost to DEATH
not only at the cessa ton of the noise, but
tat the wise and peaceful way in which
1T was brought about
Inc next day, as he sat in his easy
CHAIR ready to accept f1rewood on sub.
scrlptlons and about to turn out fresh
new batch OF public opinion, he heard Q
sound that appeared to be cross be.
tween the upper register Of a sick COW
combined with locomotive whistle ir
frosty weather when the steam is getting
low. 4 30 80 = 2 =
The awful truth came out shortly. The
barber had bought trombone. He ha6
wanted one for long time.
The Mazeppa Tribune has worked out
the worlds fair boarding problem. 1t says
II your uncle has an aunt who has 6
nephew. whose wife has a cousin thai
Is married to an old friend Of your wife's
sister, whose grandfather used to live II
the same town with an old schoolmate o.
yours, whose son-in-law Is now in st
Louis. you should at once renew &C.
quaintance with a view Of saving hote
bills"
/ j A. pretty hefty event occurred in thu
society circles Of Clinton, KY, last week
The Gazette chronicles it thus:
Miss Minnie Ringo daughter of T. N Ringo
OF the eastern part of the county, was married
sunday afternoon at Fulton to James Darnell Of
Union CITY The bride is a very pretty ant
charming young woman, and interest in her mar
riage was augmented by the fact that she weigh,
337 pounds ,a. - r. = - 9"
No one can say that James is not get
ting fair weight in the matrimonial scales
The Bottineau Courant is mad way
thru. It says that it is easier for a came
to walk thru the wormhole in a Gran.
berry than it is for a republican editor
IN North Dakota to give a fair writeu1
OF democratic convention. But what
can you expect in politics?
- Financial sharps claim that one of the
significant features of the financial stu.
alton at the present time Is the increased
demand.1or bonds Of recognized charac.
ter, both In Wall street and in Other
American money centers. We also make
this demand.
"Droughty Kansas" is catching up witt
the deficiency in the rainfall since 1854.
The generally bull appearance of thu
Wheat market recalls some Of the storie.
OF the Letter year, At that finn;
G. B. French was representing some New
York plungers who were jumping in ant
out and mixing things generally. French
was so willy that he came to be know,
as the silent OPERATOR" and much curios
lty about him was expressed by the news
papers. Finally his picture and the stor,
OF MS operations got into one of the Chi
cago papers, from which it was copied b,
the press of the country. French ha.
since acknowledged that he was a trih,
vain, and began at this point to swell
up : He tells the story thus:
= entered into a contract with a cir,
ping bureau for three. months, and til,
bureau agreed to supply me with clip
pings about myself for 3 cents each. Fo
me sne hrst month my bill was little owe
@1oo' tnought this was coming littl,
strong,. but I supposed 1t was surely al
over. At least it was with me in tha5
wheat deal. But the second month the bill
was over $780, OF course, couldn't he
gin to keep up with the reading of them
quit trying after the first week. bu
they kept coming, delivered to me in grea
scrapbooks. have a pile of them a
nome four feet high. The third month
| now, this Is a ~fact-my bill was near,,
$780, couldn't stand it and refnsa,
to pay. finally compromised with tn
| bureau for $780,"
Merchant Sitz Of Litchville. N n
played mean trick on Editor Bush. an,
the Bulletin in glee hastens to chronicle
| 1t. so the gang may wag it's ears an,
Whoop. Everybody loves a lover AM
especially a prompt ones When Edito
Bush returned home the evening of III
Fourth, Merchant sitz. with considerah1
excitement. told him that George B.. tn
father Of his best girl, wanted him t
come up to the. house on the run. rich
away quick. The lady in question Edito
Bush supposed to be away on a visit
Visions of accidents flashed thru the edi
tors mind as up the middle of the stree
he ran at full speed for the Unknown
residence. When he arrived there, flushe,
ana out OF breath who should greet hin
but-Well, she had Just returned from
distant part Of the state and had hard1,
time to take off her hat before the edito
came galloping and prancing in wha
further transpired deponeth sayeth not
But we consider it rather small trick .,
Sits part. However Bush is now lyin,
awake nights, .thinking-thinking
s55s.'.. ..c,s y .S'sa. "A. J: R.
AROUND THE WORLD ON A "RlkE