Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1904-02-04

What is Il that makes men great.
pSpaw Persistent advertising, my
son."-Cleveland Plain Dealer
/ First Theatergoer-This play was
taken from the Italians Second The.
aterGoer-Lucky Italans,-Smart Set.
She-what is a "fool:kiler." any.
wayl He-I don't know, l never met
one, She-Nsturally. - Philadelphia
Public Ledger,
Poor thing, did she take her hus.
bands death much to hearty' "why,
she's Frustrated with griefl She can't
see soul except the dressmaker."
DE man dat knows heap an don't
try TO do muffin" said Uncle Eben,
"an' de man dat don know muffin an
tries to do heap is bot of 'em nuis.
ances. Washington Star,
Americans are great kickers." re-
marked the visiting Englishman. "Yes,
indeed" replied the enthusiastic Amer.
lean. That's what makes us such en-.
thusiastic football players"
Ethel--I heard the count had lifted
Gladys. Jean-oh, no; he's too much
of gentleman for that, l know pos.
itively that he gave Gladys three days
in which to jilt him.-New Orleans
Democrat.
But they told me you had money"
"And they bunkoed me into thinking
you We're rich" well, what's TO be
done about it?" Lets fall In love
just for spite. CONNER
cial Tribune.
Noozey--I see they've revived the
rumor that General Kitchener is to be
married. Henpeck--That wouldn't be
surprising, Its natural for him to
want TO know something about every
form OF Philadelphia Press.
Prisoner, why did you strike this
manT If you please, your honor. he
came to me suddenly and said. How
old is AnnT well. what hurt did
that do;" why, you see, your hon.
or, Ann is my wife" ."-Clereland Plain
Dealer.
When Mr.. Smith started for lodge
meeting the other night he said to his
wife, Mary, believe I'll take the
key, for | might have trouble in find.
ing it when get home" YES" said
his wife, "and you'd better take the
keyhole, tOo."-Lyre.
He--It certainly was a pretty wed.
ding, and everything was so nicely ar
ranged. She-Thats just what think:
and the music was especially appro.
pirate. He-I don't remember. What
did they play? She-The Last Hope.
-Lippincott's Magazine.
Isn't there some way to patch up
your differences with your husband?
asked the kind lawyer. mo way at all,
sir" answered the woman. when.
ever he gets the least bit mad he re.
minds me that bad to advertise to
get him."-Indianapolis Sun.
II shall get . divorce" cried the an
CRY wife, her eyes flashing fire.
'Henceforth l shall be freer' ''Well,
| haven't any kick coming" calmly re-
joined the husband. It'll be more
money in my pocket every morning,
tell you those "-Kennebec Journal.
Mistress-Did any one call while 1
was out, Jane? Jane-Yis. mum. Wan
yentlemin wuz afther callin', mum.
was his name? Jane
Moike O'Rafferty, mum, an he was
rs glad to foind yez out as he wuz to
ind me in, Oim thinkin', mum.-Chl.
,ago News.
"a woman can never keep anything |
10 herself" said Danboy to his wife,
who had been repeating something he
1idn't want known. "Oh, yes, she
,an," said Mrs. Danboy, sweetly. "I'd /
like TO know what 1t is" he growled. |
It's her real and private opinion of /
ler husband" #
Does the baby talk YETI" asked
friend Of the family. NO" replied the
0aby's disgusted little brother, "the
baby doesn't have to talk" Doesn't
have to talkT mo; all the baby has
to do is to yell and it gets anything
here is in the house that's worth hay
York Times.
Mrs. Bilkins (sweetly)-Do have an.
other piece Of cake, Cousin John.
Cousin John-Why, really, I've already
had two; but it's so good l. believe
will have another. Little Johnnie Tex.
a winner! Mas a win.
ner! She said she'd bet you'd make
pig of yourself!-Town and Country.
The effete East: Wabash-"How
ong did, it take you to do that pic.
,ureT French artist( proudly)-"I am
Engage upon eet for seek months"
as l thought. You're
lead slow over there. Why. I've saw
'ellers In Chicago turnin' them things
,ut while We wait."-Phlladelp +
Press. Z
Mrs. Bilkins (sweetly)-"Do have an T
)ther piece of cake, Cousin John" =
Cousin John-"Why, really, I've al
'eady had two; but it's so good | be.
ieve l will have another" Little John ?
lie carbohydrates a winner! Mas
| winner! She said she'd bet you'd
make pig Of yourselfv'-Town and
Country.
The Kansas farmer was looking anx.
ously at the sky. Il hope" he said,
that none O. them there cyclones
ome along" Are you afraid Of
hemT" asked the stranger II amt
ever been before" answered the farm
r, "but l lifted the mortgage off the
lace yesterday, and it's SO derned
ight now it wouldn't take much of
ny kind Of wind to blow it away
'he mortgage sort O. weighted 1t down
'efore, you know."-Chicago Post.