davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-12
Wyrzuty sumienia.

w zesziy poniedziaiek uwiado-
mi}a pani Annie Olson policye, re
jej MAJ popeinii samobojstwo.
Zjechaia policya pm. 9o24 Emerald
ave., zjechal pozniej koroner,
przesluchal pania Olson stanelo
ma tenn, re August Olson pozbawil
sam siebie zycia wystrzalem z re-
wolweru. Lecz wyrzuty sumie-
MIA ME daily pani Olson spokoju.
Udala sic wczoraj ma policye i ze-
znafa tam, re jej maz ME dopu-
Sell sic samobojstwa, re ona go
zabiia. Me zrobiia tego re zlej
wolf, gdyz brutal zagrazal jej zy-
ciu, strzeliia przeto do niego, bro
MAC sic. Pomimo to wyrzuzty su-
mienia ME daja jej spokoju.
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-12
TELEGRAMY.

Londyn, 1890 lutego, godz. 3
rano. L Tien Tsin donosi kore-
spondent gazety Standard, re
piec rosyjskich krazownikow z
WIadywostoku we wtorek bonn
bardowa1o miasto Hakodate w
Japonii ma najbardziej ma polnoc
wysunietej wyspie Jezo w Japo-
nii). Hakodate liczy $1,000 miesz-
lahc6w, piel1nie jest zabudowane
posiada japohska szko}e okreto-
wa.
Chefoo, 1890 lutego, SIS rano.
- Przez caly dzieh odbywaso sic
i dotychczas trivia bombardowa-
ME Portu Artura. Try krazownl-
ki rosyjskie zosta}y zatopione a
rosyjski gmach bankowy zostal
zburzony. S}ychac, re Japohczy-
cy zajei 7 okretow rosyjskich i
scigaly inne, Wielu Japohczykow
cywilnych W Porcie Artura poza-
bijano, innych uwieziono. Chin
ski motloch pozrywai druty tele-
graficzne i telefoniczne w okolo
New Czwang przerwal komuni-
kacya ma ladzie.
Oprocz tego, re odbywa sic
bombardowanie Portu Artura,
gwaftowna burza tam sic srozy /
przeszkadza obu stronom. Dono-
sza, re Japohczycy starali sic do
stac ma lad w poblizu Bedzewa,
50 mil ma p6lnoc cd Portu Artura,
ale zostali odparci ciezkiemi stra-
tami; potem starali sic wylado-
wac pod Talien Wau pod oslona
floty japohskiej, ale musieli sic
cofnqc w obec gwa}townej stree
laniny fortu.
Londyn, 1890 lutego. = Roz-
matte teraz nadchodza wersye 0
dotychczasowych bitwach stoczo-
nych w zatoce Artura czesto So
sprzeczne, odnoSnie do tego, czy
rosyjs5ich czy japohskich zro-
del pochodza. Opowiadaja, re W
czasie pierwszego ataku Japoh-
czyk6w ma flote rosyjska, wszyscy
wyzsi oficerzy okretowi rosyjscy
/ oficerzy fortu byIi ma przedsta-
wieniu w cyrku, a uslyszawszy
strza1y, wybiegli, aby ujrze6 BIZ
tive juz sic odbywajqca ME mo-
gil dostac sic do okretow. Dono-
sza tez, re torpedowce japohskie,
zblizajac sic, jasne rzucaly swia-
tia w okolo, by uchodzic "a torpe-
dowce rosyjskie i re podstep cze-
sciowo sic uda1. Wprawdzie ma
czelnik artyleryi zawiadomi} ka-
pitana Pallady, stojacej zewnatrz
zatoki, re So to 4 japohskie torpe-
=. ale kapitan stanowczo ME
uwierzyl, ma nalegania odpo-
wiedzia4 ostro, re on jest kapita-
nem. Mimo tego officer artyleryi
mia1 sic ma bacznoSci po pierw-
Sym wystrzale Z japohskiej stro-
ny, odpowledziano strza}ami.
Try torpedowce japohskie podo-
bno zatopione, a czwarty cofnql
sic. Japohczycy natomiast zape-
wniajq, re zadnych absolutnie
STRAIT ME ponieSli przy ataku.
Toxic, 1890 lutego. : o bitwie
pod Chemulpo, gdzie flota japoh-
ska pod admiralem Urin zniszczy-
Ia okrety rosyjskie Variag Ko-
rice, donosza, re kapitan Variagu,
Behr, rozkazal oficerom zalodze
ratowac sic wskoczeniem do mo-
RIA, jesli zdolaia, potem wysa-
dill okret W powietrze, tracac ro-
wniez swe zycie. Oko}o 200 ludzi
z za}ogi wynoszacej 75o osob 20
stalo zabitych; wielu potonelo,
innych uratowano ma lodziach
wloskiego okretu Elba, francuz-
kiego krazownika Pascal i angiel-
sk1ego krazownika Talbot. Japon-
czycy ME mieli zadnych STRAIT.
Toxic, 12 lutego. = Mikado W
manifescie do narodu og4osi1 woj-
ne przeciw Rosyi i wykazujac
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-12
Londyn, II lutego. = Z Ko-

ma IS okretow wojennych
wczoraj przejechala przez dun
skie woody dazac ma daleki
Wschod. Poniewaz w Morzu
P6lnocnem srozyla sic burza,
przeto admiral rosyjski kaza}
przeplynae przez kana1 Wilhel-
ma, CO angielskie gazety nazywa-
ia naruszeniem neutralnoSci re
strony Niemiec.
Donosza r6wniez, re Rosya
staraG sic bedzie pozyskaG re
strony rzadu tureckiego zezwole-
ME ma przejscie jej floty W Mo-
rzu Carmen przez Dardanele i
postara sic w tym celu tez zez-
wolenie Wielkiej Brytanii.
Berlin, II lutego. Cesarz
Wilhelm wczoraj wieczorem byl
ma obiedzie u ambasadora Sta
now Zjednoczonych, Towera. Z
goSci byli obecni: Won L. Meyer,
ambassador amerykahski we Who
szech ze iona, M. E. Stone, vice
konsul generalny amerykahski W
Berlinie, D. B. Mason, gen. dy-
rektor "Hamb. Am. Packet &C.
se1lschaft," Albert Ballia Ham
burga i wielu innych pan6w. Ce-
sarz w wybornym humorze spe-
dill kilka godzin w tenn towarzy-
stwie.
Wieden, II lutego. : P6iurze-
dowa "Politische Correspondent"
otrzyn1uje z Konstantynopola
wiadomos6, re w kolach urzedo-
wych tureckich panuje przekona-
ME, IL pofozenle ma dalek1m
Wschodzie czyni konieczna woj-
ne Bulgarya. w obec tego rad
turecki ME uwaza "a potrzebne
zaprowadzaG reformy w Macedo-
nil. Gazeta wymieniona zwraca
ia to uwage mocarstw.
Bukareszt, 12 lutego. = Pre-
mier rumunski Stourdza otrzy-
NAL Cd rzadu austryackiego i ro-
syjskiego zapytanie, czyli w wy
padku, gdy ma wiosne w Mace
donii wybuchnie powstanie, Ru-
munia przyjelaby mandat obsa-
dzenia wojskiem Bu}garye. Ar
mia rumunska ma stopie wojen-
nej liczy 10000 ludzi, bulgar-
ska 2o5,ooo ludzi.
Washington, II lutego. Pre-
zydent Roosevelt wczoraj popo-
}udniu godz. 3:58 podpisal pro-
klamacya ogsaszajaca neutral
nose Stanow Zjednoczonych w
wojnie japoisko rosyjskiej.
Przed komitetem izby dla
spraw robotniczych zjawi} sic
wczoraj adwokat Daniel Daven-
port Bridgeport, Conn, pred
stawiwszy sic jake repreznteant
"Anti Boycott Association, W
imieniu tel organizacyi zaprotes-
towal przeciw zaprowadzeniu 8
godzinowego dnia piracy, twier-
dzac, re zadanie to jest przez So
cyalistow tylko wniesione.
Trenton, N. j., II lutego. =
Alfred F. Stevens Z Newarku
wni6s} skarge przeciw United
States Steel Corporation, w kt6-
rel zada, aby ia korporacya wy
jaSnila powody, dla ktorych dy-
widende Cd akcyj zalozycieli maj
prod podwyzszyla, a potem
wcale ich ME wyp1acala. Utrzy-
mule on, re trust ten cd chwili
swego za}ozenia zarobil 65 milo
now dolar6w, a mianowicie W r.
1901, IS milionow, W nastepuja-
Gym "a milion6w, w ostatnim
II nilion6w. Wedle swego aktu
korporacyjnego trust obowiaza-
ny jest wyplacac 4 procent dywi-
dendy rocznej, ale w r. 1903 wy
p1aci} tylko procent, W sty-
czniu b. r. mic ME wypfacil. Dy-
rektorzy przyjeli jakies ustawy
+vrzoca. c;a odLIodanio 0emnUch
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-12

wolwer ten skradli mordercy
podczas napadu ma oficyalistow.
swiadek poznal W Niedermeierze
tego czlowieka, ktory mu spree
dal skradziony revolver.
Drugi swiadek Denver, A. +.
Hayman zeznal, re weszli do Je-
60 skladu dwaj mezczyzni i
chcieli mu sprzedac DIVA reWol-
very. Jednym z mich byl rewol-
wer, kupiony pozniej przez Sally
ego, a wiec wlasnosc urzednikow
kompanii. Swiadek rozejrzal sic
ma zadanie prokuratora po sail i
wskazaI ma Marksa i Niedermei-
era jako ma tych ludzi, ktorzy mu
rewolwery chcieli sprzedac.
Nieniecki mass-nityng.
Wszystkie towarzystwa niemie-
cllie wyslaly swych delegatow ma
wielki mityng W Auditorium. Me
ktore towarzystwa stawily sic in
corpore, maszerujac przedtem po
ulicach miasta z choragwiami i
przy odgiosie muzyki. Przemo-
wienia mowcow mia}y ma celu
wykazaG, re ograniczanle wolno-
Sci sprzedazy trunkow ma ma ce-
lu pozbawienie chleba tysiecy ME
mieokich robotnikow (?D i po-
zbawienie miasta dochodow,
przez co miastu grozi bankruc-
two. Przeciwko takiemu ograni-
czeniu wolnosci wszyscy Niemcy
W Chicago, jak jeden m2z, musza
PROFESSIONAL. Kiedy mowcy naga-
dali sic ( 7yta, przyjeto nastepu-
jace re ucye;
Pokoj w .@ieScie zostal zakloco-
ny przez ludzi, usilujacych dawac
przepisy, w jaki sposob towarzy-
stwa maja obchodzic swe uroczy-
stosci.
Postanowiono Local Option"
zastosowac we wszystkich war
dach.
Postanowiono pozbawit miasto
dochodu w sumie 8 pol miliona
dolarom, skladanych przez szyn-
karzy przez rome kluby.
Protestujemy przeciwko ogra-
niczaniu wolnosci uzywania trun-
k6w przez fanatykow intrygan-
tow.
Projekt ten przyjeto jednoglo-
snie i postanowiono go przesfat
w odpisach do wszystkich iowa
rzystw, ktorych wszyscy czfon-
kowie maja go podpisat.
Utworza sic niewatpliwie wiel-
kie folialy tych podpisow, zwla-
SEGA "a namowa szynkarzy i a
gent6w roznych browarow. Taxi
mi agentami sa : ma nieszczescle
- nawet niekt6rzy alderman.
Rabunek W polskiej dzielnicy.
Znany ma Trojcowie handlarz
wegli i drzewa, Fr. Kolakowski,
sos Noble str, zostal mczoraj
wieczorem obrabowany.,
Napasc by1a nieslychanie zu-
chwala. Okoio godziny $50 VIE
czorem, kiedy utica przechodzilo
duzo ludzi, wracajacych cd pra-
cy, wszedl do biurka p. Koiakow-
skiego jakis obdartus i zazadal
przyslanla wegli. Zdziwiony Ko-
lakowski, re TAXI czlowiek zama-
via wegle, chcia} so wyrzucic "a
drzwi, ale wtedy czlowiek ten, u
zbrojony w palke, zawo}as do nie-
60 hands up" rownoczesnie do
bywszy r W o wv e r, przy-
lozyl mu do czola. Pre-
razony p. K. wyjai 'kieszeni
wszvstko co miaf wv pieniadZach,
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-12

z doliny rzeh susquehanna mad
chodza troche lepsze wiadomosci, ale
niebezpieczehstwo powodzi jeszoze
ME mins{o.
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-12
swiadkowie z Denver.

Obrohcom oskarzonych NOR
dercow trudno bedzie przekonac
przysieglych, re Niedermeier i
Van Dyne So niewinni. Prokura-
tor przedstawil przysieglym Mi
chaela Sally, wlasciciela lombar-
du w Denver, COL, ten zeznal,
re kupi1 cd pewnego czaowieka,
W dniu 3 wrzesnia, revolver,
placac "a niego $3.50. Jak sic po-
kazaSo, byl to revolver, znajdu-
lacy sic dawniej W ofisie W remi-
zach kompanii tramwajowej. Re-
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-12
Bankructwo.

w. Tate z Evanston wystapi}
pred sadem zwiezkowym pro-
sba, azeby sad wyznsczyi admi-
nistrasora do prowadzenia inte-
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-12
Fatalna onyfka.

Przywoiano lekarza do domu
pm. 1868 Iowa str, gdzie byia
chora Anna Jakubowska jej
dwuletni synek Franus. Doktor
zapisai diva rome lekarstwa: je-
dno, morfina, dla matki, drugie
dla dziecka. Osiabiona matka,
chcac dat dziecku lekarstwo,
przemienila buteleczki dala Fra
nusiowi do wypicia plyn, przezna-
czony ola siebie. Poniewaz lekar-
stwo zawieraio morfine, dziecko
po zuzyciu go zasnelo wkrotce,
lecz' zasnelo ma wieki. Fatalna O.
myika.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17

What to do with. and ri see that ray
poor boy is buried properly in Frisco.
Then I'll do the square thing by every
body that was good to him there and
then"
He broke Off suddenly and set his
teeth hard.
Then I'll put $4,000 reward up for
the wretch who killed him."
Rider shuddered involuntarily as the
captain spoke, but he made no reply.
The belt about his waist seemed to fair
ly burn his flesh as the father went on,
and he dared not meet the speakers
gaze:
"What will he do if he finds his whelp
alive and hears what 1 told about his
skipping out?' he thought. HE will
murder me! l must be out of this be-
fore he gets back here, and he will never
think of looking for me on the Dalton
trailI Besides, if he's rich the chances
are that they'll go east at once and
can work my little scheme without
anyone to hinder me. Perhaps it's the
best thing after all that l met him. II
the youngster is dead the old man will
never hear what / told about him I'M
less he goes to Merrivale, and he amt
likely to go there now he has no folks
there. He won't go near no shipping
firms to hear it, not if he's rich"
he, was beginning to feel more easy In
his mind when he was interrupted by
Capt. Scott, who said:
''What brought you out here, Rider?''
20, got the gold fever like the rest"
~(xotncr 20 b,,
Eyes, 1 suppose So"
''Take my advice and Cont. It's on
Canadian ground, and you can't do SO
well. I'll give you tip that is worth
fortune to you. Go to the Copper river
and you won't regret it. III give you
the lay of the ground and n note TO &
good chum there who will set you right,
How are you fixed for money!"
Rider hesitated. Scoundrel as he was,
he could not find his tongue for mo-
ment in reply, and the miner saved him
the trouble by adding:
''Never mind, Rider, 1 see how It 10.
but you needn't be bashful. I'll see that
you have enough to start in with the
best of them. A good outfit is half the
battle up there, and you want all the
grub you can take in. I'm going to
make rush for that steamer now be-
fore L get left. I'll see you again IL
there is time before the boat leaves. I
guess my partner will go, to-"
he wrung Riders hand heartily, dis-
appeared into his tent, and came out
with plump bag of gold, which he laid
by Riders side without further COM
ment, then started for the beach with
long, swinging strides, that took him
to the waters edge in very few mo-
ments, while the mate looked at the
bag with glistening eyes and said to
himself:
Hes got heart big as an OK, but
I'm In too deep to back out now, and I'll
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17

need all can get TO keep out OF mis-
clutches II he ever finds out the TRUTH"
The steamer sailed the following
morning, hut before he left the return
ing miner saw that Rider wanted for
nothing. He gave him the benefit of
his experience in the wilderness, made
list of the necessary articles of out
DIT and paid penniless unfortunate to
look after the mate and his horses unit,
the former was able to do it himself.
The return voyage went wels for two
days, then the steamer broke down and
1t was nearly n week before she was
able to proceed. The following night
she ran on a small island, causing an
other weeks delay. 1t was over three
weeks before Capt. Scott reached San
Francisco and was driven to the dock
where the Seabird still lay.
Old Capt. Coffin was on deck and
Toms father accosted him at once:
as this Capt. Seth Cofiin?"
That's my name"
"Well my name is Scott. Ny son
came out with you and"
what? Are you his father?" inter
rupted the old skipper. Eyes. can see
the look! Give us your flipperi Won't
he be disappointed? It's too bad!"
His visitors weather-beaten face
turned CHASTITY pale and he gasped:
disappointed What do you mean?
Is he not"
Aboard? No, confound it, he start
ed up north week or ten days ago."
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
SYNOPSIS.

chapter tom Scott, a New England
nrmhand, decides to go to Klondike to
fearch for gold. In Boston he rescues q
Mr.. Avery from footpads, and, as his new
acquaintance is also going to KIondike. he
Asks Tom to accompany him, and the inyt-
Ation is accepted. They take passage ON
no Seabird, sailing vessel bound for
frisco.
Chapter II-They board the vessel ana
? new mate, Obed Rider, whom the cap
kain had just secured, proves to be an old
Remy of Toms, who had accused his ia
ner or deserving the ship of which he was
captain and taking with him several thou
fand dollars of the owners gold Toms
Gather had not been home since the accu-
patton had been made, but Tom, then a
boy, did not believe IL. and attempted to
whip Rider. In the fight he broke tho
mates nose. When the mate finds Tom
aboard the vessel he VOWS to be avenged
eor the broken nose
Chapter rrr-Durrng the passage Mr.
Avery is Knocked overheard accidentally
tnd Tom again saves his life by jumping
into the ocean after him. The man is in
tured internally and about to die. He calls
Tom to him and wills him all his money!
1900, and also his share in a rich gold re-
gton which his partners have discovered
and where he was going to join them. He
gives Tom a letter from one of them whicH
gives direction for finding the territory.
the possession of which and Avery's will
Will serve as an identification when he
gets there.
Chapter Iv.-Rider hears the mans con-
the papers and the gold which they entitIe
the holder to. In San Francisco Tom Is
wRylaid and robbed by Rider of the paper
and what money he had with him, but the
Seabird. Tom is found by the second mate
Ok the Seabird, Green, who has left the sea
70 search for gold, and taken to his lods-
ngs. Rider escapes and starts for Dyea.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
improvements That Handicop

Gen. Miles was discussing army meth
DDS ancient and modern, and defending
the present systems. and officers. In
calling attention to changed conditions.
he remarked TO a New York Tribune
man:
What would George WASHINGTON
have done If he had had telephone in
struments in his various headquarters,
and newspaper correspondents there
who sent out his orders so that they
were known TO the public before they
reached the officers for whom they were
intended?
The telephone Is great institution;
but I am afraid that the famous fighters
Of the past would not have appreciated
it. I never use one that do not think
OF Judge Albion w. Tourgee's descrip-
ton of the instrument:
IA man. he said. stands in front of
a hole in the wall and yells: "Hello!"
He gets no answer. and repeats the call.
About the third time he leaves off the
last syllable, and the fourth time he puts
the last syllable first"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17

and came in with three big boxes OF
gingerbread. Nothing ever tasted so
good to me as that gingerbread, and
never forgot the captain In the march
to Louisville our company OBJ was rear
guard and the men were so exhausted
they went to sleep standing. On ono
occasion I went TO sleep and was over
looked when the regiment moved on,
and would have been captured had not
John McCook (Col. Dams brother),
snooping along in the rear. walked me
up. | never forgot John for that.
When we left Lexington our haver-
sacks were like old Mother Hubbard's
cupboard, and, despite the gingerbread.
we we're soon hungry. We were not al
lowed to forage. and after an all davis
and an all nights march we were pas
tured in meadow alongside of a corn
field, the ears at the roasting stage of
development We were ordered 10 build
fires and cook the corn. but some Of the
boys were so blamed hungry they could
not wait for the corn to cook. but ate II
raw, and others ate II half cooked and
thought 1t was good. That was our
hardest experience in the army. We got
the hot end OF the poker first
Later in the war, when we were in
Gen. Jimmy Morgan's brigade and were
cruising down near Gainesville. Ala.
for Hood, there was good deal OF forag-
Ing IN spite OF the generals prejud,ces
against It, There we're a good many
sheep in the neighborhood. and some
of them fell by the way As the boys
came in loaded with mutton. they were
captured by Gen. Morgan's provost
guards, taken to headquarters. despoiled
OF their mutton. and advised to 60 and
sin no more. The boys were at a dis
advantage. but they had their revenge.
Among those severely reprimanded
at headquarters was a member OF the
One Hundred and Twenty-frst Ohio
regiment, and he was made the instru-
ment OF revenge. He had noticed n very
likely bloodhound out In the country
and he went back. killed the hound,
dressed the carcass and carried il into
camp by way Of division headquarters.
AS he had supposed he would be. he
was arrested by order Of Brick TOP
adjutant general OF the division, and
compelled to unload his mutton al
headquarters IT was prepared for sup
per for Brick Tops mess. After the
supper had been eaten the story was
told to the boys in camp, and there was
grief In that mess for several DAYS"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
CHAPTER vi.
GREEN TURNS DETECTIVE.


When Tom Scott opened his eyes to
an understanding of what was pass
ing around him he gaZed curiously
around his poorly furnished room.
Then as his eyes fell upon the second
mate Of the Seabird reading by the win
dow he said in faint whisper:
'Mr. Green!"
Down went the paper and the hon.
est sailor FASTENED to his side, eX-
claiming:
"He's come to at lasti You mustn't
ask any questions, Mr.. Scott! The doc
tor gave me my orders just now. You'll
be all right in day or two"
But where am"
"Belay!" was the firm response, as
the watcher placed his broad hand
gently on Toms mouth. at amt 60
ing against orders. Lay right still and
don't talk. Here, take this stuff You
was to have it as soon as you got your
reckoning"
AS he spoke he held glass to Toms
lips with one hand, raising the patient
tenderly with the other with deft.
ness that told of considera BILE practice.
Tom was too weak to resist, and swal.
lowed the medicine as he was bid. Then
he was about to try to speak again,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
BOYS HAD THEIR REVENGE
They Were Deprived of Their Mutton
and Then Fed the Headquar-
tiers STAFF on Dog.

Speaking of the experiences of new
troops said Sergt. Sam Grimshaw to
Chlcago Inter Ocean reporter. ire
MINDS me of things that happened on the
retreat from Lexington, Ky, in 1861.
Our regiment (the Fifty-second Ohio>
was otthe newest, for it rushed from its
nrst camp into arduous campaigning in
KENTUCKY That march from the Ken
lucky river through the rain and mud
would have been hard on the most sea-
soned troops, but it was particularly
nard on us. My mouth waters now az
think Of our muddy and hungry COM
pany huddled in the courthouse at Lex
ington
our captain, who was afterward colo
mel OF the regiment. went out foragips
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
Making u Distinction.

Are you in the habit of observing
your birthday anniversaries"
"Why. l can't help observing them
as they come and go" responded Mr.
Gayboy, but | don't make any fuss
over 'em, you can bet your lifen'-Chi-
ca9o Tribune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
Marriage n Success.

Foreign VISITOR am told that
American marriages are generally
happy.
Mr.. Gotham-Oh, perfectly. The hus-
band is devoted to business, the wife
to society, and they hardly ever meet.
IN. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
Juvenile Diplomacy.

First Boy-tt's six o'clock. Let's go
home.
Second Boy-No. If We go home now
We'll get licked fer stayin' out so late
If we stay till eight o'clock we'll git
Rugged an kissed fer not bein'
drowned.-Tit-B Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
Definition of a Coward.

Teacher-What is a shepherd, Tom
my?
Tommy-One who cares for sheep.
Teacher-Thats right. Now, Johnny,
can you tell me what a coward is?
Johnny-One who cares for cows
Los Angeles Herald
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
Wanted No Extremes

Daughter-Papa, | wish you wouldn't
look so fierce when young men call to
see me. 1t frightens them.
Father-How shall look-meek?
Daughter-Um-not too meek; that
might scare them off, too.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
Not to Be EXpected.

Mrs. Deepdigger-You never said a
word about our wedding anniversary
last Tuesday-not a word.
Prof. Deepdigger-My dear. how can
you expect me to take any interest in
anything so ridiculously recent?-Tit-
Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
Gro BE CONTINUITY
BE Saw Double.

Naggs-What did your wife say
when she let you in at two a. M?
JaSgs-I was so frightened l didn't
hear what she said
Naggs-What frightened you?
Jaggs-I thought was a bigamist.
Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-12-17
And There Are Others.

Husband-There are two ways of liv-
ing, my dear.
Wife-What are they?
Husband-One is within our means as
we should, but don't. and the other is be-
yond our means, as we shouldp t. but do.
Chicago Daily News.