The commercial. (Union City, Tenn.) 190?-193?, 1904-01-22
PLEASANT HILL.

wonderful fake
And has threatened to swat on
his face.
His cousins have called, but he seems
to have stalled
And says he be-darned if he hasn't
just learned
There is a hornets nest on Cousin
Johns place.
Whether you knock a man down
and go through his garments, or
whether you work off on him an is
sue of watered stock. or a gold
brick; whether you overcharge him
for services rendered or whether
you hold him up with a gun and
rob hin1, the results are much the
same, you get his dough and are
equally guilty in the eyes of God
and of justice. In either case you
are highwayman and your proper
place is in the chain gang with
other criminals.
Miss Davis Shropshire, one of
Pleasant Hills most worthy young
ladies, is teaching a successful sub
scription school at this place in
which both parents and children
a re hiuhlv n1eased
(Burlesque,) Who knows the
meaning of the word? Some time
ago Uncle Bildad wrote a whole
column burlesque on John Barley
corn, but we never got mad and
really are proud that we are worthy
and have attracted the attention of
such a wonderful critic. We have
an idea that burlesque is the re-
verse of real facts. One great writ
er said it was the comical side of a
reality. Another one said it is so
comically connected with real facts
that the ordinary observer would
scarcely distinguish between the
two. Anyway, we have discovered
that some of The Commercials
readers apparently have not made
the distinction, as we have kinder"
criticised or burlesqued on a small
scale and by-ganny We have two or
more challenges from the offended
but it is to be hoped that
as they progress down the line from
a b to y they will by persever-
ance, observation or inspiration be-
come in possession of the powers Of
between the two. and my
dear old cousin Gypsy, the good old
mother in Isreal, with no less than
so years of experience and observa-
ton and 80 years OF that as news
paper correspondent, challenging
me for a discussion on a subject
that love as good as she dare to.
But we don't accept no such chal-
lenge. | do not blame her for stick
ing to her dear old friend Santa
Claus, for if he had sent me Jug
of whiskey ! might also have been
sensitive to an insult at such a
friend, but he didn't do it and /
feel under no obligations to him.
You all know how Gypsy waltzed
me around and around IN the schol-
arship contest for three months and
not being satisfied has challenged
me for brain and pencil contest in
which, of course, she expects to
come out victorious, and reminds
me of one of the Two freshmen who
were saving off a log on steep
hillside. Being afraid the log would
roll down the hill Mike tied a rope
to it and then tied it around Pats
neck and told him to hold it. So
they sawed it off and it went tear
ing down the hill and Pat went
over and under, over and under and
Mike seeing him said, hold to it,
Pat, you are on top half Of the time,
but when he went to the bottom of
the hill and found Pat mashed fat
under the log dead, said, and faith
if you are not dead we will try it
again. But poor Pat was dead and
If lie had not been would doubtless
not have tried it again. nor will /.
Somewhere in this broad land
there is some one who will probably
remember Memphis as long as he
ives, on account OF the excitement
ne recently experienced in that city.
de was on his way to or from Ar
kansas and had to lay over at Mem
Dhis until after midnight to catch
he desired train 1t so happened
t was the last night of the year.