The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-04-21
ARIZONA KICKLETS.
Just Getting in Shape for the Spring
Business.


We now own 10 guns and a race
horse, and can either shoot or run with
promptness and dispatch.
We understand that our esteemed
contemporary is going to carry a club
instead of a gun after April l. If he
does he may perhaps hit something in
time.
Our prospects for the presidency in
1908 brighten. That is, the Lone Jack
Recorder calls us an ass, and no
newspaper ever abuses a man unless
afraid of him.
We are real sorry for Mr.. Joe Hop
lSins, of Utah. He started out to come
and see US and fire three or four bull
let's into our anatomy, and was over
taken by a blizzard among the noun
tains and frozen to death. However,
he may be having fun where he has
gone.
There is too much lawIessness in this
Gulch If the boys don't shy off on it
His Honor the Mayor, who is. ourself
and nobody else, will swoop down on
'em some night and drive them to
their holes. Three or four funerals will
restore order.
We don't want to force the twenty
tieth century down the threats of our
people, but notice is given right here
that we shall soon order a pair of tan
shoes for next summers wear, and the
boys can get ready to shoot and be-
hanged to EN-. Some things have got
to be, and this is one of them.
We still lead the social 400 of this
place, Notwithstanding the reports sent
out from time to time, and any at
tempts to Gust us from the position
will bring about a crash to be heard
a fe
Never let 60"
We have been postmaster of this
Gulch for three years now, and dur
ing that time, in order to create and
maintain a model office, we have only
been obliged to kill one man ami
wound five. It's dead easy if you only
go at it right, but If you shoot all
around the country nothing can be ac-
complished.
The relations between the governor
of this Territory and the editor of
The Kicker are not strained, as some
of our home papers would make ont.
, We respect the governor for what he
is-simply 81 governor-while he re
spects us as one of the presidential
candidates four years hence. That
simply makes it all apple pie between
US.
Any newspaper man in the East
who can ride. shoot bluff, drink and
stand a bullet occasionally can always
be sure of a situation on THE Kick
er" at So or $40 per week. The salary
is low. but oh. Lord. what wild and
woolly adventures. Funeral expenses
always paid by the office.
Monday morning. while His Honor
the Mayor (whO is Ourself) was
transacting official business in his
room at the city hall, a message was
received to the effect that a CHnch
Valley cowboy named Joe Scott was
on the public square prepared to take
and hold the town. In Just thirteen
seconds after receiving the message
His Horn had buckled two revolt
yers about his waist and was at the
1oot OF the stairs. His prompt re-
Spouse to the def ratified Scott. who
put spurs to his mule and cIattered
out OF town without firing a shot. His
Honor got two shots at the flying
coward one of which passed through
his hat, but he got away unhurt. and
people who met him seven miles out
say he was still on the galIop.
Our horse editor. who is an impetu-
Gus young journalist from the East
published an item during our absence
last week which severely reflected on
the social standing of our esteemed
fellow toWnsman. CAPTAIN Joe Tar
bell The item stated that he had
skipped town to avoid being arrested
on an old warrant charging him with
killing a man in Pennsylvania Our
horse editor can't remember from
whom he got his facts. He is a very
energetic young man, and meets so
many people in the course of the dav
that he can't always STOP to remember
which one related this or that item
OF news.
We now beg to humbly announce
that a great injustice was done the
gallant captain He never. killed a
man in Pennsylvania, and instead Of
jumping the town he was PLAYING
poker IN the Red Star saloon when
the paper was issued. He was ali
ready to come to the office and shoot
our horse editor when friends advised
him to await our return. We are very
sorry that such an error should have
crept into our columns. The captain
bit q mans ear off at Prescott three