Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-09-10

~ 1t Aic SAME time. i ulI W NAT
did you do?" spent my money and
my vacation
College Cirl--Oh. how my watch an
noys me, ticking under my pillow. Her
Chum-Why dOa't YOU get one of those
silent midnight watches?
Salie-What does Carrie do for
living? Hallie-She paints. Sallle-
| knew that, but l didn't know she got
paid for it.-Boston Traveller.
Mrs. Torker-Tommy you must not
interrupt me when am speaking.
Tommy-rhen how'll | ever get
chance to say anything life
Old Mother Hubbard, she went out
and rubbered New neighbors were
just moving in, I'm just take peep.
My their furniture's cheap. she said,
with satisfied grin.
Magistrate-The evidence clearly
shows that you threw stone ut this
man. Prisoner-An' the looks of the
man shows more than that your hon
or; 1t shows that hit him.
Mrs, Nurch--I think I'll take this
watch. You're sure il is made of re-
fined gold? Jcweler-C Certainly Mrs
Nurich--Because do detest anything
that amt refined. Philadelphia
Ledger.
MY physician says that worry
makes people thin" Il don't believe
it," answered Miss Cayenne. There
is nothing that worries some people
! more than the discovery that they are
getting fat
First Lady 0n an open car--I'll bet
anything it's going TO rain! Second
Lady-Nonsense. the sky's clear as a
bell. First Lady know that but
| why did those gentlemen give up their
end seats. | should like to know?
Indian Killer from New York
/ Where's yer Indians? Colorado Jack
All dead. Indian Killer-Who killed
en-? Colorado Jark--Why you see.
young Teller, they heard you was COM
ing and they laid down and died
Aren't you married yetT no"
well, well! | thought you were en-.
gagged to n certain young lady in Scar
borough NO. | was engaged TO
an uncertain young lady in Scarbor-
ough, and that's why l am not mar
ried.'
Cassidy suppose We heard the
news about Flamncry? Casey-Phat
news? Cassidy--lie was drownsed
this marnin'. Casey don't believe
It, Shure, was taykin to him yis-
therday. an he nver said word about
it.-philadelphia Press
Wei, what does he say?' impatient
~ asked Mr.. Spotcash "I'll tell you
in moment replied his secretary.
who was slill struggling with the
opening sentence Of a letter from that
German correspondent of the firm. II
/ haven't got to the verb yet."-Chicago
Tribune.
1T must he a great satisfaction TO
! have such n palatial apartment" said
/ the old time friend. 'lt is answered
Mr. CumroX; its Il heap of comfort
! TO have house big enough to wander
I away and get lost in when mother ana
/ the gals are giving a musicale or re
/ cepton. Washington Star
/ Lakeside lin Eighth avenue restau-
/ rant-l see you have a sign requesting
/ gentlemen 10 remove their hats Wait
er-Ycs; we found it necessary. Lake
side--Iust like New York. Why, out
in Chicago we never think of sitting
down TO a meal without taking off our
mats and coats.--Town Topics
Il suppose said Mrs hyperion,
you are thoroughly familiar with the
duties of a cookY 'Oi am, ma'am,"
replied the applicant. Can you make
mayonnaise dressingr' asked the
prospective employer. NO, ma'am; 81
only do plain scwin'," answered the
| cook lady. "Oi have all me own dresses
made. Chicago News.
Willing, but Hampered. Caller
(whO Is making the round of the ten
ement districts-Well, | must 20 now,
Is there anything | can do for you, my
good womanf The Other (of the sub
merged)--No, thank We, mem. Ye
mustn't mind it, mem. IL don't return
the call. / haven't any time to 20
slummin meself.-Chicago Tribune.
II had good job last summer, but
lost 1t on account OF my fool absent
mindedness." said poor old Seldum
Fedd. pesslmistically; ~ was actin az
de echo for a mountain hotel; an |
done all right till one moonlight night
when a smart guy from dc city hOl
Tered, Hello, Smith" l forgot myself
an answered back, Which Smith do
yer meant Judge.
Jones-What is Newlywed Blgrhed
looking so glum about? Smith--Why,
the gypsy fortsne-teIcr just told his
wife that she would have two hus-
bands and that the second one would
be a very fine sort OF man. Jones'
IIa, ha! And Bigghed thinks that is a
reflection on him. suppose? Smith
oh, no. He thinks his wife must
have been married before and never
told him.-Tit Bits