The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1904-10-13
Parental Advice.

90 ~AA OSSA 4 u - A~~o
n n Y Dear Son Jason Lighthead,
N an old schoolmate Of mine,
Iv visited me last week and re.
manned two days. He be-
longs to the Lighthead family who live
on the Smlleville and Stagnationville
pike. He now lives at Standstill, Pa,
where an uncle of his left him some
property 33 years ago. was glad to
see him and 1 gave him a hearty well
come, but was still gladder when he
left, and bade him goodbye with un-
feigned pleasure. An ordinary man
might have been puzzled at my uncon-
cealed desire to speed the parting
guest, but Jason didn't mind it. Per-
haps he did not even notice it. Mr..
Lighthead is not an ordinary man. Far
from it. He is man that refuses to
see the cloud for fear of losing the
pleasurable sensation caused by the
sight of the infinitesimal fringe of sill
yer lining that brightens that part of
the cloud upon which the rays of sun
light impinge. He is professional
optimist, and therefore a good-natured
fool. No matter what the actual con-,
ditions in a given case may be his un-
varying comment is sit might have
been worse"
When young man he married girl
Stunned by everybody else because of
her deceitfulness and infiammatory
temperament, and she made him do
her bidding early and late. She was a
good looking hussy, and could be civil
enough when it suited her purpose.
She led Jason dog life, but he con-
soled himself by saying sit might have
been worse" Jason was so tame that
his wife at last became disgusted with
his lack of spirit, and she struck up a
Irritation with neighboring farmer
by way of diversion. 1t must be said
in justice to the farmer that he was a
newcomer in Stagnation County, and
for that reason did not know Mrs
Lighthead. His name was Strong, and
it fitted him. Mrs. Jason was sly
mink, and she captured the heart OF
Mr.. Strong after a short siege. Jason
didn't see the cloud because, as before
limited, he was lost in admiration OF
the silver lining. When Strong asked
him what kind of housekeeper Mrs
Lighthead was, and whether she was OF
a good temper, and sundry other ques
tions that would have aroused suspi
cion in the breast of an ordinary man
he answered, "Oh, she's all right, tel
you" When his wife ordered him tt
withdraw $4,000 from the Stagnation
Vile bank he obeyed her, as a matte
of course. When she deposited th'
money in her own name in Syracuse
bank he had no fault to find. 81
might have been worse" you know
When she got divorce from him ant
married Mr.. Strong he never grumbled
He had to live up to his reputation a
professional -optimist, and he sue
ceeded without apparent effort. (Ther
are those who say it was nothing t
brag of, as anyone would be glad t.
9 give $4,000 to be rid of such woman
: as was the quondaen Mrs. Lighthead
But Mr.. Strong, rot being a profes
sional optimist, soon discovered tina
bo Lol do
one day when he met Jason in lionel
Il spot where there was no danger of ir
J. reference he almost beat the life ou
of him for his very unneighbOrly cor
duct in representing bis wife to be a
: that could be desired, when in realit
she was the most undesirable piece c
q Natures handiWork that ever left tn
old DANES workshop. Jason dragge
a himself home, and when the hired ma
! dressed his wounds he family whi
u pered, sit might have been worse
l. The hired man, a doubling Thomas sol
Q of fellow who hailed from Missouri
"a wanted to know show nell it coul
l. have been worse, and Jason answere
y very feebly, "Don't know exactly, bl
am sure it might have been worse!"
These few remarks will serve as
1t faint outline of what constitutes pr
rs fessional optimist. Hiram, my boy, b
70 ware of the extreme optimist, for he
) an illusionist and fraud. Likewi
beware of the extreme pessimist, Fl