Shiner gazette. [volume] (Shiner, Tex.) 1893-current, 1904-10-05
| 9TICKI-E
/ GRASS
HZ.l By
~ BYRON WILLIAMS
An EdItorIaI nsend On

ana nuSfHn IN keulfy papers DC el-
fervescin' with spekilashunl
The way hearn It, one o. them
thar newspaper felleEs what has ILLUS
peen wumeran teetotlar an
moclser O. PONIES O. pashun', up and
gifts innocerlated with that thar loves
htful fever twelve miles frum body
or acquer purer, an his autymobeel
tire punchuredI
Seem thet he's surrounded by tn
snemy's arms, he throws hisself inter
tn face O. providence (thet not bein'
ner name) locks the gates behind
MIN an gifts shot whar it'll do him
Tn most goodi
Reference is made ter Brother Hank
5omers, him as edits that thar noos-
Qaper over at Sasafras Corners, and
Miss Henrietta Seiders, the school
marin, her as whom we bow ter in
spite O our rheumatic an tight fittin'
overalls
Frum now on she's his'n an he's
hern, an If he don't split Their kim
din as he oughter, all she's got t
do is ter lay down tn law an Their
statootes therein provided
And tharby hangs er tale as tn
meat lsleayer said t. TIL chopin
block after Their dorg had passed
through tn sldssage falituryl But
Jest why them Missoury edlturs should
be speckilatin is moren kin see, fer
every man, no matter how. he's bin
BLOWN his foghorn, gifts sumbody sum
day t put linseed poltises onto his
nuralgy provided he don't wait so
long tn bait gifts all dried up an omen
ticin' no morel
Fer years now Brother Hank has
bin putin his own cat out nights an
goin' round braggin' tibet no wumeran
ever'd git him cornered inter a mess
o chippendale ferniture in his stockin'
feetl No, street
Ev'ry time er good-loolsin wum-
Grand come proselitin' Ground his
bailerwick, he'd sic Their office dorg
onto her an take fer tn bowels O. his
sanktum sanktorium scarder than a
gopher what he'd got his tail tecap-
ertated in er steel trapl
But tn good Lord knows best, an,
one day Brother Somers he seen a
: wumeran tibet set tn whole dummed
universe t singin "Bedelia," an SIGH
like poplar musik Then he begin ter
quotin' potry, killed his dorg an got
religiouser'n all git outl
Well, t make long story some
less'n spool er rope he up an got
married an they do say down in Mis-
soury he dun erbout right considerin'
tn gal, exceptin he oughter. seasoned
Their wind u Their shorn lamb sost all
tn boys wouldn't a swallowed ther
stoar teeth gaspin' fer surprise when
tn weddin bells got ter dom tn
ding-dingl
When they went on Their tower they
cum by the great lakes, somehow err
ruther, to Shicago. They cum by
water sosts they could be seasick in
each others arms fur the fust (and
last) time Well, him wantin' T. show
her off ter excuse hisself fer not
askln our opinion, he brung tn lady
Ground fer our inspeckshun. We amt
got nuthin' & say, bein' as how he
seen her fust, exceptin' thet she's a
bit O femerninity thet makes a Teller
think O tn time when his OF wum-
eran said Il will and he wilted. She's
TIL kind er joolry tibet amt goln' t
lot her OF man git loansum wastin'
his affekshuns on no dorgl
Well agin ther boys all erlong tn
line sort er got out an handed 'em
bokets with one hand and tied can
t. EN- with the other hand jest t make
'em remember what twas they wuz
celebratin' Down t. st. Joseph, Mis-
soury, Bill Williams, bein no relation
O. ourn and probly glad of it. he put
er ben onter EN- and scared EN- over
tn state line inter tn hands of Ernest
McGaffey him bein' no respecter OF
newly married folks hisself After
fritnin' tn life most outen EN- show
In EN- whar tn tunnel cayed in and
whar tn Masonic Temple turned
round, we cast EN- lose ter cavort
erbout till Their money Civ outt
Then we got EN- aboard editorial
injine and sent EN- back T. idissoury,
Here's hopin' tibet nothin' never win
git atween that thar love O. thern an
them or Missoury sunsets, whar tn
roses is painted on the yarikolored
background in glorious splendorl An
may they allus read in each uthers
eyes tibet. "Whomsomeyer lives true
life IS bonn ter love trlle Lowell"
This beln erbout tn wust thet's bin
done t. EN-. we bein all busted up
with brain rheumatic, we're hopin'
this'll hold en- Ter awhile.
UNCLE BY.
a newly married shoemaker is now