davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
A Humorist Who Loves
Other Peoples Hunor


Few would suspect, when reading
Henry Wallace Phillips virile stories
of the West, that he is an Fastener
born and bred. Yet such is the case.
After years of roughing it in the far
West Mr.. Phillips recently returned
to his old home at Richmond, Staten
Island, married his next-door neigh
Dor, and is living in the house occu-
pied by his father and grandfather
before hin1-a peaceful and prosaic
climax to the wild life of his early
youth.
1t is often said that professional
humorists are deeply serious people in
private life and never read one an
others work. This is not the case
with Mr.. Phillips. Discussing current
literature with a friend recently, he
said:
'How deadly tiresome, fiat and
lnane the serious effort seems! I've
just finished reading Lady Roses
Daughter and what do | care? There
isn't anything in the book that most
OF us haven't thought as much about
as we wanted to. When | read Mr..
Dooley' or o. Henry my heart is
lifted up. | am a better and wiser
man. When | read the other stuff |
quarrel with my wife
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
Witty Eag1ishrnen Of Other Days
ORD CHIEF JUSTICE CAMP

IT ORD CHIEF JUSTICE CAMP
BELL had keen sense of
A humor, and was great co11ec-
tor and retailer of bon mots
with which he used to delight dinner
tables. Many of these he has pre-
served amid the discussions on high
affairs of State and complex legal
questions which compose the ten vol
umes OF his "Lives of the Lord Chan
cellors." Campbell had the dead chan
cellors Of whom he wrote at his
mercy, but when the book came out
the then chancellor, Lord Lyndhurst,
revenged his caste upon the, author.
What do you think of Can1pbel1's
work. some one asked Lyndhurst
Think of it?" replied the chancellor.
What can I think of it? 1t is adding
new terror to death"
One of Campbe1l's stories of Lord
Chancellor Erskine's brother Henry
IS as follows. Seeing Andrew Balfour.
man who affected great pomposity
OF style, come 1inping into court
Henry asked him what had happened.
i was visiting my brother in Fife.
and | fell over his sti1e and nearly
broke my leg 1T is fortunate it was
not your own style replied Henry.
for then you would have broken your
neck"
Succeeding Dundas as Lord Adj
vocate, that good natured politician
offered to lend Henry his embroidered
official gown as he would not need it
longer. NO." replied Henry, 81 will
not assume the abandoned habits of
my predecessor"
Lord Balmuto, an obtuse Judge, was
thorn in the side of Henry Erskine,
who would crack his best jokes and
fire off his most brilliant wit before
him without eliciting single smile
or look of appreciation. Then, hours
after, when another case had been
called, the judge would suddenly in
terrupt the proceedings of the court
by crying out: ooh, Mr.. Erskine, /
hae We noo-I hae We moo. Very guide,
very guide"
According to Campbell, Lord E1don
used to say of his brother, Lord Sto-
we'll: my brother takes regular ex-
ercise twice a day-in eating" And
Stowell retorted upon E1don, who was
fonder of drinking wine than of paying
for it: My brother will drink any
given quantity of wine" On being
asked what the chancellor killed when
he went hunting on his estate at En-
combe, Stowell replied: "He kills
time Lord Chancellor Thurlow was
once applied to by poor curate who
desired an appointment to living
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
WHY?

Why should the United States, the
greatest of all agricultural countries,
import:
For other purposes than breeding,
$4,000 cattle, 1900 horses and 100000
sheep?
Butter, 100000 pounds, and milk
to the value of $4,000?
Eggs, $4,000 dozens, and $4,000
worth of egg yolks?
Three hundred thousand gallons of
honey?
Meat oils, 100000 gallons, and TO-
100000 pounds of stearin?
Seventy-fve million pounds of cot
ton, costing ten million dollars?
One thousand barrels of tar and
pitch?
Eighty-six thousand gallons of fruit
juices?
One million bushels of wheat. 41.ooo
of corn, 10000 of oats and $4,000 of
barley; 100000 pounds of oatmeal, COL
barrels of flour and 100000 tons of
hay?
Over one million bushels of beans
and peas, nearly a million of onions
and $4,000 of potatoes, with total
value of nearly two and half mil
lion dollars?
These figures are for the year 1908.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
A Much Mortgaged Inheritance.

The French Canadian s'habitant''
and his wife generally hold their farm
in common, and it is their custom to
make a joint will designating one of
their sons as their heir.
There are usually plenty to choose
from, for race suicide has made no
progress among the French Can
adams. The eldest son is not neces-
sarily selected; the choice falls upon
the young man who seems most likely
to manage the property with wisdom
and thrift.
If the heir is married, he brings his
bride to live with him under the
parental roof. and they often enter
into possession while the old people
are still alive. But the privilege of
succession brings with it heavy re-
sponsibilities.
The heir binds himself to support
bis father and mother, and perhaps
one or two dependent aunts, as long
as they live; and to bury them and
pay tor requiem masses when they are
dead. He must also endow his
brothers with stated sums when they
start farming on their own account.
and give dowries to his sisters when
they marry, if they have not married
already A common dowry consists
OF two cows, two sheep, chest full
OF household linen, a spinning wheel
and $Ioo in cash.
10 discharge all these liabilities the
heir may have to mortgage the farm;
but he IS never known to shirk his
obligations on that account. Possibly
it will take him the greater part of his
Lifetime to clear off the mortgage, and
by the time he has done so he IS will
ing to give over the farm to one of his
own sons and settle down to an easy
life.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
SHE IS TEA TIPPING ALL THE AFTEENooN

One was bit sallow, very heavy
eyed, dropping in carriage-in short
thorough, tagged The other, Z
wholesome, rosy-cheeked girl of bare
ly twenty, looked fresh and charming
Evidently she had fine constitution
and the effects of too much gaiety had
not yet begun to show. Such con-
stitution, taken care of, would last in
TO a hearty old womanhood. At the
rate she described she will be middle
aged before thirty.
Tea tipping has come to be a vice
with the woman of fashion. Our
Americans have not always been as
addicted to the drink as they are to-
day. The custom of using it has in
creased with the fad for aping English
manners. 1t seems foolish to say that
one social cup of afternoon tea, served
in the tiny cup which fashion pre-
scribes, could harm any one with
sound nerves; but few women stop at
one. cup. The woman who is in de-
mand at functions spends her late
afternoon going from house to house,
stopping at each one just long enough
for the cup of tea with its accompany
ing wafer or slice of loaf cake. By
the time she has made the rounds
she has had enough tea to give her
restless night. Every bad night is
black mark against the achievement
of beauty.
Nor does the drinking of tea cease
with the afternoon calls. The use of
tea becomes a habit just as the use
OF alcoholic stimulants does. | have
in mind a dear old lady who has the
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25

studs, is an understood accessory of
any formal suit.
The tuxedo is now called the "din-
ner coat" and its name proclai1ns its
purpose with limitation. The limita-
ton, by the way, is the presence of
ladies, when the formal dress suit,
with its white waistcoat, white linen
tie and high wing or poke collar, must
be worn.
Outside of the strictly home din
ner, the dinner coat, with the black
waistcoat, rundown collar and black
silk tie, is seen at all stag parties, and
even at the opera or theatre, if there
are no ladies. Yet, in defiance of these
regulations, a gentleman is permitted
to pay informal evening calls in his
dinner coat. In no case is a silk hat
or white tie worn with this coat.
which rule includes, as a matter Of
course, white gloves.
1t is not considered altogether cor
rect to wear white waistcoat with a
dinner jacket, but number Of men in
good standing have started the vogue,
especially for theatre parties. But as
this jacket is looked upon as informal,
the innovation is fundamentally incor-
rect
Speaking of the theatre brings one
to the matinee, which, although not
often patronized by men,, cannot be
ignored as concerns his proper outfit
for the occasion 1t is permitted a
man to wear his ordinary business
suit at a matinee, even if he be accom-
panied by lady, but if he proposes at
the close of the performance to pay
calls or do duty at an afternoon tea,
he must don the formal frock coat or
cut-away, including the silk hat, high
collar and any sort of a quiet scarf
that will tie into big, loose knot.
The formal evening dress coat is
worn at all evening functions where
ladies are present, and even at those
dinners where there is possibility
of ladies being present as spectators
Evening functions include the formal
dinner, opera or, theatre parties, re-
ceptions, dances, weddings and formal
calls.
The dress coat demands white or
black waistcoat, the high wing or
poke collar, with the white; linen tie,
Liz olih Id, VI SOuISS, duu low SHOES.
In all house affairs white gloves are
worn; out in the street the dress suit
is seen with gray suede.
A chain is never worn across the
waist coat of dress suit. and no
jewels of any kind outside of gold
links, gold studs or pearl studs, if the
latter are preferred.
By the way, as last word, braid on
ones trousers and velvet on ones
collar are no longer considered abso-
lutely correct in the formal evening
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25

A MANS knowledge of social
~ usage is measured not so much
4 " by the variety of his coats as
by the hour and occasion in
which he appears in certain one of
them. A frock, a dinner or dress
coat may be bit antiquated in style
the offense is condoned But if one or
the other be worn at an questionable
hour the unfortunate culprit is con-
sidered guilty of an irretrievable error
against good manners.
AS matter of fact, the average
American is business man, and rare
ly takes the time to keep in touch with
the accepted etiquette of his ward
robe, although his outfit is generally
complete. 1t is only when he is called
upon suddenly to decide between the
niceties of a frock coat or a dress
coat for an evening call or a noon
wedding-not to mention the added
difficulties of proper hat, tie, gloves
and footgear-that he is completely
at loss how, and in what manner of
raiment, to solve the difficult problem
There is one general rule regarding
the etiquette of coats. The coat with
skirt, or tails" as they are called,
is looked upon as formal, and is worn
with silk hat, waist coat of either
the same material or white duck, and
&c rr10 ~,
excludes the use of tan. An exception
to- this sweeping rule is the English
walking coat suit, whicls CO ,ructed
of rough fabrics, is wor hing basi-
ness hours, and with the usual derby
or soft Alpine.
The formal long skirted frock coat
is an important item in mans ward
robe, and is supposed to follow the
axiom of when in doubt wear frock
coat" AS matter of fact, it is ser.
viceable for variety of dressy occa.
sions, although few elderly men Of
distinct standing occasionally favor
it for office wear.
The frock coat, or cut-a-way frock
can be of black or dark grayish soft
stuff The trousers should be striped
but always dark and inconspicuous
1t is worn, with the necessary silk
hat, at church, the noon wedding and
for the afternoon call.
Of course, the collar and tie demand
special attention A turn-down collar
and so-ca1led "bow tie" are tabooed
with the frock coat. If the waist coal
matches the coat, a black or gray
toned scarf can be worn, and black.
knotted four-in-hand, or ascot, if the
white waistcoat is selected The
plain, white shirt, with gold or pear.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25

dances must take great pains to avoid
a cold, for the exercise brings on a
perspiration, and the rest which fol-
lows is enjoyed in low-necked gown.
Have pretty little wrap ready for
the intervals between dances. n
Your popularity is very lkely TO
lead you to the abuse of one of the
best things in the wor1d-ekercise.
You may be invited to Join country
club, to go golfng, tennis playing,
bowling, day after day There is al
ways a merry party, and you go for
the sake of the fun, even when YOU
are tired or not we'll Don't. Too
much exercise, even OF the best kind,
IS quite as bad as none at all. Have
the courage to refuse even the most
tempting invitation if you know. YOU
are not equal to the effort. You won't
lose. your popularity by being moder-
ate IN your gaiety.
A great many of the girls who
dance until late hours-or early ones
are not able to make up sleep in the
morning, and this is perileus. No
woman ought to entertain any idea of
remaining pretty unless she allows
herself at least eight hours sleep
night: Besides this, there should, if
possible, besa little rest time in the
middle of the day. Lie down if you
can; II mott sit down, relax every mus
Gle, close the eyes and doze.
Perhaps it is outside the province
OF this little lecture to refer to one
more danger of the popular girl-and
yet, if you think, you will see that it
IS a danger to beauty. It is the risk
of being spoiled. Did you ever see
a. vain, self-conscious girl who was en-
tirely pretty? Think again Did you?
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
BY KATHERINE MORTON.

x TINE times out of ten the girl
nj who is social favorite pays
/ dearly for being what she
is. Unless she knows how
to use her privileges, instead of abus-
ing it, she is in danger of wreck
ing her beauty long before the natural
wreck of age sets in, and her health
suffers most seriously. l have put
beauty before health in the hope that
It might catch some readers eve. The
wreck of the health is the cause of
the beauty wreck, but it seems to be
a less interesting matter to most
The whole secret OF the thing is
that the popular girl is the girl who
goes, and our Americans never seem
to realize the limitations of their 60
ing powers. To stay is as yet an I'M
learned art. When an American girl
takes to society she does so in the
same reckless way that she takes to
work, as if the amount accomplished
were the whole measure of success.
The other day l overheard some girls
conversing on train / recognized
them as two of the most. popular
members of an exclusive set. Bits
of their conversation fell in silences,
when l could not help hearing them.
I went to one lunch, three teas, a
dinner and a dinner dance yesterday"
one of them boosted.
81 can go you a breakfast and two
teas better than that" the other re-
torted.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25

which had become vacant. In his
usual gruff and profane manner Thur
low. cried out upon seeing the in
truder: who are you? Where do
you come from? What do you want?
What interest have you? In what
lords name do you Gomez"
Indeed" replied the astonished
curate, Il come for the living of -,
but have no interest. I come in
the name of no lord but the Lord Of
Hosts" "You are the first man who
ever applied to me in that Lords
name, replied Thurlow, "and I'm
hanged if you don't get what you
want"
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
Stewart Edward whites Honeymoon,


Stewart Edward White, who last
spring achieved the climax of life
of hazard and wild experience by
marrying a Newport girl" as news
paper observed, has been enjoying a
unique honeymoon after "The Vir-
gilman" pattern.
He and his wife have been camping
alone, far from any sort of civilization,
in the wilds of the Sierras. Although
this is Mrs. Whites first experience
in out-of-door living, she sends back
word of enthusiastic delight with ii
all. She sleeps on the ground, eats
camp fare with relish and thoroughly
enters into the spirit of the life SO
wildly described in her husbands
books.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25

dress suit, but, as has been already
remarked, ones style is permitted to
be trlfie antiquated, but ones man
ner of appearing in it and the occa
sion must be impeccable.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
Professionally.

Wagg-Muggs. always looks down
IN the mouth as soon as business picks
UP.
Nagg-How's that?
Wagg-He's a dentist.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25
He Wasn't Liked

An unpopular son of Duluth
Had habit of telling the truth.
He'd remark, MY dear Sal,
You're a sensible gal,
What a pity you're palmer than Rut
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-09-25

K TINE times out of ten the girl
M who is social favorite pays
J. Y dearly for being what she
The San Francisco call., 1904-04-22
Madame Sembrich Coming
Fresh From Her Recent
Triumph in Gotham.

Madame Sembrich is to give two con-
certs at the Alhambra Theater, one on
Thursday evening, May 5, and one on
Saturday afternoon, May Z.
During the recent Conreid opera sea-
son in New York the favorite lyric
soprano made her usual impression
upon the critical musical audiences of
the great metropolis. Madame Sem
brich appeared in Italian opera, and in
such works as the ever popular "Rigo-
letto" and File du Regiment she sus-
tanned her reputation as one of the
foremost operate artists of the day.
The madame is to sing at the musical
festival at Dallas. Tex, after which
she will leave for California.
Besides the two concerts in this city
Madame Sembrich will give but one
other song recital in this State, which
will be in Los Angeles. The sale of
seats will begin next Thursday morn
ing, April s, at Sherman, Clay & Co. IS.
The San Francisco call., 1904-04-22
Sons of Revolution Delegates.

AT yesterdays meeting Of the board
of managers Of the California Society
3f the Sons OF the American Revolu-
ion the following delegates were
elected to the next annual congress OF
-he National Society of the Sons OF
he American Revolution TO be held
.n St Louis No. on June Is and 10,
1904. Delegate at large. Hon. VIII
lam Mitchell Bunker: delegates, Col
Dnel A. d. Cutler. Alexander @. Eells.
captain +. r. Allen. Zenas L. Dodge,
Joseph w Hume, Livingston jerks,
George +. Hail. William S. Boggs.
Frank L. Brown, Philip B. Bekeart;
slternates. O. d. Baldwin, William J.
Dutton, Roy T. Kimball, John Nc
Henry. Miles Standish, jay r. Munsell,
Robert T. Brown. Loring @. Nesmith,
George c. Sargent. Walter G. Hawley
and Thomas McCaleb.
The San Francisco call., 1904-04-22
CHINESE MAY
GET A SCHOOL
Mrs. English Submits Propo-
sition to Put Up New
Building for Mongolians

If the Board of Education accepts the
Chinese school on Clay street will have
a three-story modern brick building.
That fact was demonstrated yester-
day afternoon when a communication
from Mrs. English, the owner of the
property was read at the meeting of
the board. The offer carries with it a
proviso that the building will be erect
ed upon the basis of a guaranteed lease
for five years at a rental of $50 per
month.
The proposition was referred to the
building committee with power TO en-
ter into the deal if it is deemed adviS-
able
Saturday, June IL, was set for COM
petitive examinations. Those desiring
to enter will begin their labors at 9
O'Clock in the morning of that day in
the Girls High School. Aspirants
from the country will be allowed to
take the oral examinations in the
evening of June II and on Monday,
June 13, oral examinations will be
given to residents of the city at 9
o'clock in the morning, 1:3O in the af-
ternoon and 1880 in the evening.
Miss Elsie B. Leale, a graduate Of
the University of California, class of
1903 was granted a high school GER
tificate to teach.
Miss Helen M. Hogan and Miss Nellie
L. Barrett were allowed renewals OF
their grammar grade certificates.
Permanent grammar school certifl-
Gates were ordered issued to Mrs. Alice
Malline Banta formerly Miss Alice
Malline) and Miss M. A. Mclean, they
both being holders of California life
diplomas.
The previous leave of absence grant
ed Mary E. Hull, teacher in the La
fayette Primary School, was extended
to June II on account of continued ill
ress
The San Francisco call., 1904-04-22
OFFERS MOTION
FOR DISMISSAL
Attorney for Mrs. Cordelia
BOtkin Submits His Case
Without Aid of Witnesses
DEANE HEARING CLOSED
Police Judge Conlan Will
Render His Decision on
Points Made on Tuesday

The preliminary examination of Mrs.
Cordelia Botkin on charge of causing
the death of Mrs. Ida Henrietta Deane
at Dover, Del, in August, 1898, by
sending a box of poisoned candy to
Mrs. Elizabeth Dunning, Mrs. Deane's
sister, was concluded before Police
Judge Conlan yesterday morning. The
Judge will render his decision on a
motion to dismiss made by the defend
ants attorney on Tuesday morning.
The witnesses examined for the pros
ecution yesterday were Professor
Thomas Price, who made an analysis
of the poisoned candy; A. G. Roselle,
who found a piece of the seal that had
been on the candy box, and w. w.
Barnes, clerk at the Victoria Hotel.
This concluded the case for the prose-
cution.
Attorney Reese Clark for the defend
ant said he would submit the case, but
would make a motion to dismiss on the
grounds that the complaint was sworn
to on Information and belief; that 1T
had been disclosed during the proceed
ings that certain witnesses had testi-
fed on the understanding that they
would not be called upon to repeat
their testimony before a jury on the
trial of the defendant, and that the
evidence was insufficient to hold the
defendant.
District Attorney Byington denied
that there had been any agreement or
understanding with any witness that
he or she should not appear and testify
at the trial of the defendant.
The Judge said he would take the
matter under advisement till Tuesday
morning.
The San Francisco call., 1904-04-22
Kane Wants Mother to Paw.

Frank ]. Kane. secretary of a local
society for the prevention of vice, ap-
piled to the Superior Court yesterday
for an order directing Mrs. Jennie Ri
der. formerly Jennie Stretch, to ap-
pear and show cause why she has
failed to pay him SIS a month for the
support of her child, Jennie Stretch
who is one of Kane's numerous wards,
She was ordered to pay that sum
when Judge Murasky appointed Kane
guardian of the girl. Judge Murasky
issued the order asked for by Kane
and Mrs. Rider will appear before
him April %.
The San Francisco call., 1904-04-22
Enforces Compulsory Law.

Truant officer Floyd reported yes
terday that, acting under instructions
from President Roncovieri, he had
visited the fruit canneries and canning
factories for the purpose of enforcing
the compulsory education law among
the children who work in factories.
Floyd saw to it that the boys and girls
over IA years of age had cards show
ing that they are attending night
school, the cards being punched for
each nightly attendance and counter
signed by the teacher and principal.
Floyd says that he was afforded every
assistance by the proprietors of the
canneries.
The San Francisco call., 1904-04-22
KNIGHTS OF COLUMBUS
TO FORM NEW COUNCIL
-Four Hundred Members VIII Leave
San Francisco Sunday to Create
Organization I'm Sam JoSa


Organization i'm San Jose.
new council of knights of Colum-
bus viii be instituted in San Jose next
Sunday, April "a. Four hundred mem
bers Of the San Francisco and Oak
land councils viii leave Third and
Townsend streets on a special train at
$50 O'Clock Sunday morning. On ar
irving at San Jose the Knights will
march to St Joseph's Church, where
solemn high mass will be celebrated.
In the afternoon the new council will
be Instituted and the degree work will
be exemplified by Oakland Council. A
banquet viii be rendered the visiting
Knights by San Jose Council.
The committee in charge for San
Francisco Council will be composed of
Edward J. Dollard, James B. Duffy
and James r. Keith. Frank NJ. Cere-
nj, Joseph Roseborough and ]. Yorke
viii constitute the Oakland commit
tee.