The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-01-02
TIE NONPAREIL MAN

Parable of the Foolish Man Who Steaieth
RattIesnake and Carrieth Him Off
In His overcoat Pocket-It Is AnaIo-
gous to Drinking the City Water
Description Of the Ancient City of
Seoul, Poor in Appearance, But Rich
in Fleas.
Nemesis is wearing brass knuckles for
the thief who steals a rattlesnake and
crowds the Wiggler into his overcoat pock-
ct as Andrew Hollison did at the Palace
Museum the other day. However much
we may admire Mr.. Hollison's nerve we
are not prepared to commend his good
sense. The IA ttler seemed to admire
neither the one nor the other for it worked
off three good bites on its captor before
the police and the doctors got busy with
him. It's men like Mr.. Hollison who drink
the city water with the same nonchalance
with which they would drink Tame
Moose at Crookston, or a wood alcohol
split somewhere north Of Duluth.
If the boys in the orient get to fighting
around Seoul there will be some stern
work done. A writer in the magazine
Outing says that Seoul is an ancient
walled city, fortified in the strongest way
by smells that would drive any but an
Asiatic army forthwith into the ocean. It
is poor in appearance. but rich in feas.
On autumn nights tigers frequently con-
test the right of way with belated pedes-
TRANS, and this is the chief reason why
one has the entire street to oneself in a
moonlight stroll after O'Clock. Meta
phorlcally, one can scarcely see the town
for the bald, dubious and bulet-headed
Buddhist priests who fatten on the super
stition of the populace and lead licent1ous
lives in the adjacent monasteries. It is
plain that the Japs, if they get to Seoul
first, have their work cut out for them
when they meet the feas. But they are
sturdy little fellows and will come up to
the scratch.
edition Of the great Chinese wall that leads
down to the sea at Shanhaikwan. Piercing
this Korean copy are the city gates. 1t is
around this wall and at the gates that
/ there is likely to be some unpleasantness in
the future. Nobody seems to consider the
Korean in this matter. The reason is
] that the Korean has Chinese ideas of war.
He thinks, if he makes a horrible tontom-
ing and puts on a ferocious face, that the
enemy will flee.
! There are harsh days ahead for Korea.
In case of war it will, as a nation, be
!, blotted off the map like a hunk of pie in
the grin1y fist of a strong tramp. The
time has come when Korea must be Rus
sian or Japanese.
A Pullman porter writes this column to
know if Wos Gil calls himself Woz Hill
! or Woozy JILL He says that as a porter
, it is necessary for him to know all facts
from the population Of Podunk to the po-
, litical parties of Paradise In order to lay
| the proper foundation to shaking down.
} the travelling public. The conundrum
Wosv Gil as as unfathomable to us as is
the English painter, Watts-Dunton. We
do not know whether he Wos or not, nei-
+ Their do we know Watts-Dunton. Look In
s the annual encyclopedia.
Cashier Andrews, who got a. million dol
J., lars and fifteen years, was let off by the
governor Of Michigan after he had served
: about a year. The governor of Michigan
: is in the same class as the supreme court
of Missouri. We cannot well be harshel
a than that.
n If the Iroquois theater's fireless curtain
o really burned as charged, somebody ought
+ to hold up one finger at the management.
Paris is rejoicing in a new trackles.
r. train. 1t is composed Of a motor carriage
# similar to an ordinary automobile an(
d five cars. The discovery consists of the
!, transmission of sufficient motive power
n from the carriage to move each car. 1
! was found that all the cars tracked ex
~ actly with the motor. If the idea prove.
\ practical on a large scale street railwa.
. off Of it some day.
: An article in this column regarding
" Christmas and the glorious old sub-zer
~ weather and it's manifold splendors ant
d charms evidently struck a responsive
" chord in some poetic bosom. The write
# received by mail yesterday this littl
e sketch clipped out and pasted on a shee
n Of paper. Under it the same ideas wer,
= expanded and thrown into metre. The un
C known poet says:
Talk about your Christmases
In sunny southern climes.
e Beneath the spreading palm leaves,
= 'Mong oranges and limes
e Would any stanch man Of the north
l. Injured to Boreas' kiss
Give up his cheerful fireplace
For such scene this!
n They sing of luscious apricots
'e Of peaches and Of pears;
l. They about the salt breeze
And other Joys of Theirs
,e But really. now, and honor bright,
Il Wouldn't you much rather
Enjoy this bracing northern air
, Than with this gang foregather?
II Would I enjoy to 1ol1 about
e And watch the lazy lizard,
Is Knowing the good folk back at home
lie Were buckin gin blizzard?
Well. will tell the honest truth,
And shame the devil so.
&c I'd 60 south if it took limb
- If / but had the dough.
~ OF course the north is all right, but il
V man owns a railroad and has an unlimite
rs Pullman pass and isn't afraid Of the por
II ter he might as we'll be in the south a
OF the north while Manitoba. is exporting it
- weather crop.
III Farmer Ben tells his Austin Transcrip
readers this week that the biggest mistak
Is ever perpetrated in our public schools wa
he az oho1;+,o, of oornoral ,uunisbment RI