The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-03-22
ChHifey, Tony and OurSeIi.

Above us, the frosted incandescents
ehone with a warm and steady glow.
Below US, the aromatic sawdust sooth-
ed and rested our poor feet. To our
right, a goodly array of three story
stems .alternated with the squat chatting
dishes. To our left, double line of de-
ternnined men had the single ambition of
resting their right elbows on the bar.
Around US slithered an army of white
coated walters skilfully conveying whole
battalions of glasses to the seat of war.
The smoke of battle was all-pervading.
Corks popped. bottles gurgled and not
one of the single blessings of civilization
and culture was absent from that happy
and animated scene.
And there we sat, Chuffey, Tony and
ourself, with our legs comfortably
spread beneath the sheltering mahogany
disc Of our little table. little some
thing inspiring before US. at peace with
the whole wide world.
1t was Tony who began It.
The Russians" said Tony; now the
Russians drink vodka
Chuffey turned upon Tony with a
querulous eye.
What have the Russians got to do
with this?" he demanded.
Don't get Deevish old man." said
Tony soothingly- THE Russians
Russians." snorted Chuffey. Change
the tune, will you? Let's rest the other
leg bit and talk Of something newt"
was only speaking about their
vodka" said Tony lin some surprise).
for complaint if I had said anything
about their tea. Jevver drink Russian
tear, George2" asked Tony, turning to
US. mo sugar and milk? And slice
It's the national bitters," we eluci-
dated. AS we spoke. the band suddenly
threw off all restraint
That's from the 'Mikado,' " mention
ed Tony, beating time with his glass.
No" we remarked, that's the Rus
sian national anthem"
Whereupon we kicked each others
shins under the table while Chuffey
swore to himself with such spirit that
at first we both thought that we had
kicked him by mistake.
Il tell you that it's the executioner's
song from the 'Mikado,'" insisted
Tony.
We had quite time about this but
finally left the question to the head
waiter for settlement. The head wait
er interviewed the orchestra and then
informed US that it was a selection
from the "Geisha Girl"
Chuffey groaned in his glass and, not
wishing to intrude ourselves upon him
in a moment of emotion. we cooked our
ears to listen to the party at the table
behind US.
They are the Yankees of the ORR
emit" one of the party remarked.
But Russia has the biggest army in
the world"
Yes, but 10000, 900 Russians in Rus
STA aren't worth ten men on the field"
With desperate word and Shrug,
Chuffey turned his back upon this little
group of conversationalists and there
by brought himself into position
where he commanded the party at the
table on the other side of US.
We'll. SIR one of the members Of
this party was saying, well, sir, when
he got home his wife was waiting for
him. And she was a bit suspicious
you know the way women are some
times" -Four heads nodded in solemn
confirmation, and our three heads III
voluntarily followed suitl. so she ask
ed him to say .Vladivostok' ten times
in quick succession, concluded the
speaker.
Again Chuffey relieved his mind of a
tense and suffering sound and again
we kicked Tony's shin under the table
(skillfully avoiding the kick which he
aimed at us in return)
Not wishing to enter into converSa-
ton ourself being fearful of introduce
ing the for hidden topic and thereby
Wounding Chuffey's finer suSceptibilities
even more than they had already been
wounded, we closed our ears to all
other sounds and turned our attention
to the double line of determined men
at the bar. and then we gathered the
following little tid-bits of general in
formation:
"A yen is 50 cents"
Japan has 10000. 900 subjects"
What's the matter with The
Hague?''
"A little Jap can shoot gun as we'll
as a Russian twice as big"
And the little Jap needs less to eat"
And can run faster
And is twice as hard to hit as a Rus
vian twice as big as he is
What is this yellow Peril"
What? Haven't you read any yell
tow war reports yet?"
What Japanese industry is absent
on their battleships?"
mo lack O. work there"
See that waiter2 He's a-rushin -
1t was at this last delicate little NOR
gel of wit that Chuffey's spirit rebelled
utterly and would not be comforted.
We followed him out almost sympa-
thetically) and helped each other with
our overcoats.
In the hall a number of men had Just
come stamping in, beating their hands
strides toward the bar.
1t can be much colder than this up
IN Siberia one of them remarked as he
passed
Chuffey groaned aloud.
Is there no way to escape it2' he ask
ed US violently. Isn't it possible for folks
30 think of something different2 Do they
think they are whistling 'Hiawatha? Is
The"
a young lad ran across the street, shout
Ing in a shrill soprano, his mouth form
ing fearful gap in his face and his eyes
Pulging with the excitement which he
was ..S,. attempting to disseminate;
Russian battleships sunk Avn Read the
extrvi"
We all dived down in our pockets for
the requisite penny. Chuffey was the
quickest with his money, however, and he