davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

sixth ward arose an demanded that they
shud crowd their suffrage on him. That
meant me an O'Brien. dye mind? He got
up mass-meeting with bands an calceem
lights an tn hail was crowded while he
talked not on'y broken, but, be hivins, pool
verized English on tn issues iv tn day.
Well, Hinnissy. yc know It's not on'y tn
candydate hinsilf that's confident it's ivry-
body around him. An befure tn iliction
come begun to think that maybe me frind
did have chance. so | wint around to see
him. He was disthributin' tn spendin'
money fr TIL polls an l had to fight me way
i'll. Glad to see ye, Mister Dooley.' says
he I wanted to tell ye that I'm sorry l
can't appint yeer Uncle Chief iv Polls. I've
inquired into his charackter. says he. an
It's not up to tn standard. Besides he says,
I've promised tn job to TIL Amalgamated
Union iv Can Openers. who ar-re with me
to man. Ar-re we that sure ye-re goin'
to be ilicted that yeve already broken ye'er
ante-iliction promises?' says l. My. but it's
you that ar-re tn hurried statesman It's
all over says he. I've ordhered tn flowers
f'r me desk in th' council Make Inc
gates-ajar.' says l. an wint me way How
nanny votes did he get? Eight. That was
TIL amount. Where did he get thim?' says
I to O'Brien. They were some we cud-
dent USE says he. They belonged to
Bohaymian in tn foorth precint, but l give
them to Smeerkase. He's a good fellow
says he.
What's me opinyion iv tn campaign?
Sure, what's tn use iv breakin' up amy
mans happy dhream be tellin' him tn
thruth? If amy fellow citizen iv mine can
get four months complete injymint out iv
life with nary care or worry but ivry day
TIL glad hand an TIL rainbow iv hope in th'
sky. it's not me will spile his game An it
wudden't do amy good anyhow. Sup
posin' Thaydoor Rosenfet was to dhrop in
here an ask me opinyion in tn campaign
up to date. might say: 'Thaydoor. me
buck, at this minyit l can't offer ye much
consolation. Ye won't get amy votes in
tn South that will do We amy good. If ye
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14
Economy.

Senator Jim" Fair had two marked
cteristics-economy and love OF
joking. He never forgot frugality in
his extensive business. and he even
made his own economy a subject for
humor.
Once while puttering around over the
Comstock he slipped and started feet
first down a deep, narrow shaft. There
was a long. continuous wooden ladder
reaching to the bottom, with its every
twelfth rung Of iron to strengthen the
structure. Down this he sped.
When 1 found myself sliding down
toward the center Of earth" said the
Senator, who used to enjoy telling the
story, Il thought it was time to begin
doin' something. So commenced to
grab at the ladder rungs. AS went
down l broke every single one OF them
wooden sticks. This checked the speed
Of my fall. and landed bout thou
sand feet below, badly shook up but
not hurt"
But what did you do when you came
to the iron rungs?" he was asked.
"Oh. just skipped 'em. Couldn't af-
ford to break 'em. Wood was cheap,
but iron was then burned dear on the
Comstock"
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

thry to get amy tn colored line will be
dhrawn more closely an on higher threes
an NANNY smilin' face will be absent firm
yeer festive board. Ye've just managed to
hurt tn 'thrusts enough to make thin mad
an they're afther ye. Nanny people is
scared to death that if We get in again yell
buckle on yer soord an declare war again
tn homes iv their birth where they skipped
firm. They'se lot iv Germans in Wis
consin an Illinye that don't like foreign
policy. mannyfacthered to ordher in Eng
land an who wud not care to lay down TIL
bungstarter an tn sausage grinder to take
up tn soord an make war on thir lieber
Vaterland in ordher to advance tn common
an sometimes vulgar speech iv Shakespeare
an Joe Chamberlain. Ye ar-re well liked
be some an we'll disliked be others. Th'
beautiful bust iv We that Jacob Riis nodded
i'll butther is meltin' in I'll harsh glare iv th'
secret meetin's at tn White House. 4e
won't be ilicted be ye'er frinds or defeated
be ye'er inimies 1t is to TIL indepindant
suffrages iv tn freemen who ar-re indif' Trent
to ye that ye must appeal. If they ar-re more
indiff rent to tn Sage of Esoopus, you have
a chanst. But ye'er gr-reat hope iv victhry
is nawthin' we've done or nawthin' ye
maven zone Out lllo 1lldt ilO liidtLllCI now
NANNY votes tn Dimmycrats have befure
tn polls open III Republicans usually
have more whin tn polls close. an the7
don't care how late they set up.
What wud he say? He'd sind fr Jacob
Riis.
eff I wiut to Esoopus an found tn Sage
maxim hay with Willum Rockyfellar an
Augy Belmont. ! might say: Sage, don't
we put too much thrust in thrusts A thrust
may show momentary fondness fr Dim
mycrat, but raymimber. thrust is a ReDub-
lican at heart. He was brought up upon it.
It's good to have WiIlum Rockyfellar with
ye f'r Prisidint iv tn United States. but I'd
rather have tn family inhooence. on me side
If was r-runnin' f'r Prisidint iv tn Stand
ard lie: Bill an me is allowed be tn con-
stochoochion tn same number iv votes. i.e.,
as Hogan wud say, wan. Mine is sure to get
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14
BRITAIN COUNTING THE COST.

IN USSlAS views contraband of war coun1ed
with the evident purpose of the Gar to continue
the operation of the volunteer feet the Pacific
Ocean on the lines that have proved so annoying to
the British in the Red SeA have become primary oues
ons OF the hour for discussion by British statesmen
The problem created by Russias tremendous sea acti
W vastly increased by the release of the Port Arthur
meet ana the impending movement of the Baltic battle
ships, has become of grave moment to the British
foreign ofhce, and we'll it may be- Britain has nhn-
tey more to lose from the predatory fleets OF the Rus
SLAMS than all the other powers combined
1t is not to be wondered at therefore that the subject
OF contraband has become theme of agtated debate in
the House of Lords and in the House of Commons that
Lord Lansdowne has been placed his mette by
pointed queries that representations bordering on the
undlpomatic have been made to St. Petersburg and
that the Pandoras box of the Dadanees has been
sdered mt food for the wisdom of The Hague Tribunal
British traders menaced far more seriously than
they ever were before in this generation.
Some unwarranted surprise has been expressed that
practically all the seizures made by the Russians in the
Red Sea have been those of British ships. and like
condition will follow in the Pacific the Russians
persist in their policy This be expected because
OF the overwhelming preponderance of British tonnage
over that of other nations.
The marvellous carrying trade of Great Britain and her
colonies explains at glance the trepdaon of London
While Germany and other maritime nations have in
creased their carrying trade very largely the last few
years. Britain has kept with the forward movement
and still holds her marvellous supremacy on the seas
Great Britain owns for commercial purposes 1000
steamers of 3ooo2IS tons burden 1887 sailing yes
sells of I,3o2.I3z tons burden Add to this enormous.
capacity of the mother country the trading ships owned
in the British colonies 1888 steamers of 8z roo tons
burden and gao sailing vessels of 3z2186 tons burden
and have the magnificent total of 8787 steamers of
I486627 tons burden and 2463 sailing vessels of 1874
3IS tons under the control of the British Empire and en-
couraged by its imperial promise of protection.
wonder, therefore. Brit
ment in the policy of the Gar potentaes of
tremendous damage to the British carrying trade both in
Europe and the Orient Nor is Germany to be left out
of calculation vigorous objector the free and
Interpretation of contraband by the Russians Ger
manys flag floats over I483 steamers of 28oI86o
burden and she fourth the list of proprietors of
sailing vessels in the worlds carrying trade The
United States third in the of danger with
1906 steamships of z,44o7o4 burden and we are
second on the roll of sailing ships. While most of our
carrying trade is coaswse confined to the lakes we
have still apprecable interest in the controversy
which agtates England 1t will be WELL therefore
for the Gar the when he his fighting
ships free on predatory missions.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14
BY P. P. DUNNE.

Copyright 1904. by Mcclure. Philips Coz
CLT SEE" said Mr.. Hennessey. that the
Dimmycrats have gr-reat conf
4 dence"
They have" said Mr.. Dooley.
9TH Dimmycrats have gr-reat confidence,
tn Republicans ar-re sure. tn Popylists
are hopeful. tn Prohybitionists look fr a
landslide or a food or whativer you may
call q prohibition vichtry, an tn Socylists
think this may be their year. That's what
makes pollytics tn gr-reat game an tn
on'y wan TO dhrive dull care away. It's a
game iv hope. iv vjolly-ye'er-neighbor, a con-
fdence game. If ye get bad hand at
poker, ye lay it down. But if ye get a
bad hand at pollytics, ye bet ye'er pair iv
dcuces as blithe as an Englishman who has
jus larned the game out iv tn spoortin'
columns iv TIL London Times. If We don't
win fair, ye may win foul. If ye don't win,
ye may tie an get tn money in tn con-
fusion. If il wasn't such a game, wud there
be Dimmycrats in Vermont. Republicans
in Texas an Prohybitionists in tn stock
yards ward? Ivry year men crawl out iv
tn hospitals where they've been since last
iliction day to vote tn Raypublican ticket
in Mississippi. There's no record iv it, but
it's fact. To-day tn Dimmycrats will on'y
concede Vermont. Maine an Pinnsylvanya
to tn Republicans. an TIL Republicans
ooncede Texas. Allybam1ay an Mississippi
TO tn Dinmycrats But it's arly yet Wait
awhile. Tn wurruk iv TIL campaign has not
begun. Both sides is inclined to be pessi-
mistic. Th' conservative business man who
thinks that if little money cud be placed in
Yazoo City, tn prejudice again Rosenfclt,
which is on'y skin deep anyhow. cud be
removed, hasn't turned up at headquar-
thers. About TIL middle iv October the
Republicans who comedies Texas to tn
Dimmycrats will be dhrummed out iv tn
party as thraitor an yell hear that tn
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

into tn box, but Bill is apt to frget his Il
there's hve-dollar bill IN New York ealIiu'
f'r father. Don't believe ivrything David
Binnitt Hill tells ye. He's a gr-reat man at
a prim'ry, but he's poor in tn wards. He
knows how to reach tn captain iv' tn eighth
precinct, but he's niver had his ear very
near to tn gr-reat throbbin' heart iv tn
people on account " tn watch pocket bein'
on that side. What tn public knows about
ye is all in ye'er favor. barrin. ye have a
slight 1mpedy1nint in ye'er convictions.
They like ye so much as an upright Judge
an stalwart farmer that they may not want
to remove ye. They ar-re foolish people
an they may ask ye to stay on tn farm.
But don't be in too much iv hurry to de-
clare ye'er principles. Ye won't; but don't.
Ii ye have principles iv ye'er own, they may
not agree with ye'er party's, an if ye hold
til principles iv e'er party they're unpopular.
But don't be discouraged, anyhow Th'
campaign is young. Anything may hap
pen. ROsenfelt may go lame. At prisint,
afther maxim a cold an calculated survey
" tn situation. l can on'y promise ye tn
ilicthral vote iv Tevas an mesilf an we
both need watchin'
What wud he say2 He'd ask David
Binnitt Hill. an David Binnitt Hill wud
say: It's cinch. Not on'y ye'er own
gr-reat popularity an mine makes it certain,
but I've seen man in Buffalo who knows
man in TIL third precinct iv tn foorth
ward who is goin' to see fellow in Mat
toon, Illinye. who has tn city collector iv
Keoluk undher his thumb an he can get to
Cortolloo. l need say no more. Ye viii
understand what | mean be me wink
Rosenfelt may as we'll go back to tn barnP
mo, sir. | will not disturb amy mans
romance with me valuable an unsought
opinyions. But, secretly, Hinnissy, 1t don't
look to me as though ayether iv thin had
tn ghost iv chance
''I'm afraid " Rosenfelt." said Mr. Hen
messy.
II amt afraid iv amy Prisidint that iver
lived" said MIR. Dooley. Six months in
tn White House wud tame buffalo"
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

Of the most ardent sort on thu part Of
the suitor, for in order to reach his
bride he is compelled to run the gaunt-
let OF the male relatives. who beat him
numerically. If he is able to elude his
opponents and braves their chastise-
ment. on touching the foot OF the girl
he is welcomed into the family and
complimented on the ardor OF his pas
sion. Should he fail, he finds himself
in the awkward predicament Of being
both wifeless and out Of the presents
he has made during the preliminary
negotiations.
Although parent may have sold q
woman to one man. II does not prevent
his redisposing OF her to any suitor
who may come after, and who Is looked
upon as legitimate a husband as the
first one. All the husbands contrtbuta
to the wife's support-Outing.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

Dimmycratic party in Maine is so cheered
be TIL prospects that his frinds can't keep
him sober.
Th' life iv a candydate is tn happiest
there IS. 1t l want anything pleasant said
about me have TO say it mesilf There's a
hundherd thousan' freemen ready to say it
to candydate an say it strong They ask
nawthln' in rayturn that will require a civil
service examination He starts in with a
pretty good opiniyon iv himsilf based on
what his mother said iv him as baby. but
be tn time he's heerd til first speech iv
congratulation he begins to think he had
cold an indiff'r rent parent. Ninety per cint
iv tn people who come to see him tell him
he's tn mos poplar thing that iver was an
will carry tn country like tidal wave He
don't let TIL others in. If anybody says
anything about him less frindly thin Jacob
Riis, he knows he's either sorehead or is
in tn pay iv tn other campaign comfy.
Childher an dogs ar-re named afther him.
pretty women an some iv tn other kind
thry to kiss him an tn newspapers publish
pitchers iv him as he sets in his libry with
his brows wrinkled in thought iv how fine
man he is. TIL opposition pa-apers don't
get up to tn house an he niver sees himsilf
reason he takes a bath in tn Hudson is be-
cause he is too stingy to buy bathtub f'r
tn house an prefers to sponge on tn
gr-reat highway belongin' to tn people.
eff he hasn't done much to speak iv. his
frinds rapport his small but handsome var
chues. He niver punched his wife, he sinds
his boys to school, he loves his counthry, he
shaves with safety razor. A man expicts
to be ilicted Prisidint iv tn United States,
Hinnissy, fr tn fine qualities that tn r-rest
" US use on'y to keep out iv the pinitinchry
All tn time tn rayports from th' country
become more an more CLOWN Th' tidal
wave is risin' an soon will amount to a
landslide Victhry is perched upon our ban
ners an has sint f'r tn family. FIR tn Dim
nycratic candydate tn mos CLOWN ray
ports iv gains come firm New England,
where there is always most room for DIM
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14
MEN anahMAa1EERS In
THE EG35eNsZze WORLD

TO his reputation in the way Of riding
winners. Maher will join the stables
Of Marsh, who will train the Princes
horses when he begins his turf career.
Private reports from Newmarket and
other racing quarters do not indicate
much faith that the Prince will follow
racing with the same enthusiasm as
the King did. The Prince prefers the
seclusion of the club for his gamble.
The Duchess of Devonshire gave him
| some useful lessons in bridge, which he
has not forgotten, and John Roberts
! showed him how to win and lose at bill
lizards. Whether Marsh. the Newman
ket trainer. will be in his line as sue
cessful remains to be seen.
There is much uneasiness among SER
wants in the royal stables in conse-
quence Of the King and Queens pref
erence for motor cars. A few weeks
ago number OF stablemen at Windsor
were cautioned that they had better
look out for another job. Their as
tonishment grew when the head man
was ordered to take their half a dozen
horses and carriages to a salesman's s
premises in Piecadilly, where they were
Immediately disposed of. Now the
force employed at Buckingham Palace
news is to be reduced, and at least a
dozen stablemen will soon have a
chance OF boasting the distinction of
serving his Majesty. The wedding out
process is being felt mostly by the
younger men whose services are not
sufficiently long to entitle them to
either a gratuity or a pension. But
his Majesty is generous and it's an
ticipated he will give all whom he dis
misses a years wages.
Not for many years have English So
ciety people complained of such scar
city of money as they do this season.
The season is a brilliant one, but thou
sands of dollars are owing for dresses,
and the tradespeople cannot get cent.
There is a prominent Duchess, whose
credit was never in question before.
but is now the subject of common talk
in the West End. She owes one firm
$50, 900 for dresses, but they are aware
that pressure would only mean loss OF
clientele from many of this enterpris-
ing lady's friends. and they are, there
fore, obliged to lie low. She is one of
the most lavish entertainers in Eng
land and thinks nothing Of spending
s50,000 on one royal party at her coun-
try residence. Her gambling propen-
stiles are well known to all the young
nobility swells and to enterprising
ladies who fancy a hand at bridge.
Although her husband is the possessor
Of many thousands OF acres and four
or five of the finest residences in the
country-all of them good enough for
the reception of kings and oriental
potentates-he is mortgaging them
heavily to support the extravagances
Of his fair Duchess. The Duchess in
order to satisfy her craving for gamb-
ling and entertaining has been lately
disposing of her jewelry. Herds of cat
tie which she bred and valued highly
are at the present moment of writing
advertised for sale
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14
In London Society.
Special Correspondence.

HEADQUARTERS OF THE CALL,
6 HENRIETTA STREET, COVENT
GARDEN, LONDON, July 31.-Much
surprise has been occasioned by the
announcement that the Prince of
Wales is going in for horse racing.
He has heretofore given such little
evidence Of possessing sporting
blood" that it is about the last thing
that was expected Of him. Among
his intimate friends however, it is
stated that no genuine love of the turf
has impelled him to take this course,
but desire to win popularity with
the masses. At present their attitude
toward him is one of Indifference not
Unmingled with contempt and is in
striking contrast to the feeling enter
tained for his father when he occu-
pied the position OF heir to the throne
This may be in a measure due to his
general alOofness from all that con-
Germs them. Laying cOrner-stones.
opening fashionable bazaars and at
tendance at similar functions pro-
duce little effect on the crowd. Very
noticeable was the cool reception ac-
corded the Prince and Princess when
they accompanied the King and Queen
the other day to lay the foundation
stone Of city hospital AS they rode
through HolbOrn, where men who
*play the races" abound, not a hat
was lifted nor a cheer raised for
them. 1t is something more than a
coincidence that the Prince should de-
clare his intention of seeking a career
dent. He is emulating his fathers
example, but whether he will be
equally successful in making himself
q favOrite with the racing public re-
mains to be seen.
The Princess of Wales is and al
ways has been opposed to horse rae
ing because she saw in it an element
OF reckless gambling. Queen Alexan-
dra has the same feeling, but King
Edward, unlike his heir. has insisted
ways on being master Of his own
household. He knew what his sub
jects liked and whether he was run
ming q horse or not he always had a
bit on" every race reckoned import
ant In the racing calendar.
The threatened withdrawal of such
men as Lord Dunraven, Leopold de
Rothschild, Leonard Brassey and Sir
Waldie Griffith from racing would also
appear to have influenced the Prince.
These patrons Of the turf have been
complaining of the Kings lack of
practical interest in racing matters
lately. He goes TO all the fashionable
meetings and keeps a few crooks"
IN training, but what is wanted are
his colOrs at classic races. He has
been pracucing economy since he
came TO the throne and moreover he
tells his friends plainly that his pub
lie duties make so much demand upon
his time that he cannot afford to look
after training stables.
Early in the season he was obliged to
release Danny Maher from his en-
gagement because he had not suffi-
cient horses in training to give the
young American a chance Of living up
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14
Kw0bdtkin at Target.

General Kuropatkin is a crack shot.
When he was Minister of War. during
a tour of inspection he visited Sebas-
topol and strolled with the command
ant along the boulevard, where there
was a shooting saloon. His host in
vited him to a contest and the Min
lister accepted, each to fire ten shots
with a revolver at fifteen PAGES, the
target being a piece of white card
board about the size Of small cigar
cite case. With a revolver the gen
eral put all ten shots into the target,
to the complete discontinue of the
other competitor, and when a similar
target was put up ten PAGES farther
off he repeated the performance with
the rife.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14
Music in the Pork

The following programme VIM be
played in Golden Gate Park this Gf4
ternoon:
Star sPangisd Banner. national anthem o. g.
March. Queen OF the Surf John v, Klohr
Overture, BEAUTIFUL Galatea'' ......., .Supps
Waltz, La SOiree'' Nathan
SOlO AOE saAupllllc- . -oeleCleQ
]. L. MundwylsF.
Grand fantasie, "Attila'' Verdi
Overture, Macbeth" ..........sss.,s .Hatton
"Falkentang .................,....M .Msyerbeer
Fantasie. Home Sweet Home" ........Nehl
Selection. The TenderfoOt'' Hearts
National fantasis OF Great Britain. al
. Dloh ..---.---.s..s--.-.--. -baetena
AmeTlca ..ss...sss..... ...s.ss
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

The Russian fleet of warshps which for months has
been bottled up Port Arthur and for which the world
had nothing but jest and gbe and ungenerous specula
ton has at last escaped and is prowlng the Pacific If
the Bear effects junction of this fleet with that the
Baltic and the Vladivosok squadron the doughty sailors
OF the Mkado may have to understand that war
after all is two-sided affair The world may yet be wit
of great modern battle
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

Chief of Police Whitman has suggested to the Super
vsors several proposed charter amendments that
signed improve the efficiency of the Police Depart
ment and to afford needed protection to citizens who
must accept municipal conditions they created
The suggestions of the Chief of Police should be
adopted If tolerate influences that call for in
creased police protection at least entitled
guarded against the criminal classes that have apparently
the connivance if not the support of local au-
thores.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

Sven Hedin describes walking in a
sandstorm in the Tibetan Desert as
being like wading against running
water or liquid mud"
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14
Answers to Queries.

FROG RAISING-A. c., Ceres, Cal
There is a work called How to Raise
Frogs" by Coombes. This can be Sc
cured through any bookseller.
The San Francisco call., 1904-08-14

ABALONE sHELLS-w. L. City. In
order to polish abalone shells the outer
coating must first be removed This
is done by placing the shells IN lye
made by boiling strong ashes and then
boiling the shells from six to seven
hours. or longer II necessary, after
which they must soak IN the IQuid.
After boiling they must frequently be
washed In water Then tLs shells are
dried in sawdust and when thoroughly
dried the surface is rubbed with a
mixture Of tripoli and turpentine ap-
piled by means Of a piece OF wash
leather. After this application has
dried II should be rubbed Off The
shells are then rubbed with very fine
dry tripoli and lastly sOms olive oil
is rubbed in and then finished by rub
bing with a chamois.