The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07

readily attract them. They invariably
add TO the rites Of tire service whenever
il is possible to 90 50. There are mans
instances which show that the concep-
ton Of the Bible stories is somewhat
cloEded. Their manner OF showing rev
ere1ce Is often most amusing. On one
occasion d notice OF service was posted.
in which the Savior was referred 10 as
Colonel Jesus Christ An inquiry
developed the Fact that the author of
the notice consi 3ered colonel q very
honorable title, and thought that Jesus,
being a great parsonage, was worthy OF
bang addressed by the most distin-
gulshed name his aduirer could think
Of 1t was some time before it could
be made plain to the well-meaning ma
tive that the title was not big enough
Cor the man. Another notice concern
ing the approaching feast Of Saint Ave.
who was the mother of Mary, referred
10 the saint as the 'grandmamma Of
God.
Throughout all The West india islands
and South America, there are many
UnoTthOdOx Jews who have married the
native women and pretended to en-
brace their religion. Many of this class
are reneeades. They snuggle and mix
secretly in all sorts Of Tascality. They
VIII steal the coat of your hack # thay
get the chance. Many Of these fellows
daunt their professcd religion like 4
merchant displays his goods. over one
door saw this sign: Put your trust
in God. and tuy your rants from Moses
1-3durO-' The word madurO iC span
ism means ripe. and Moses IS certainly
Z a wen sedsoned hvpocritc.
IN another place there was a cigar
store with religious notices painted al
over its front Fear GOd-Do Right
Buy Here" was followed By, ANY
man who saws we don't sell cheap, is
not q true servant of the Lord The
proprietor Of that cigar store was a
wonder, but ne met his match in the
1 person of an American jew, who was
making a trip through the south for
( mis- health. The first time the Ameri-
can sauntered up the street his eye
caught the sign plastered front Of the
cigar store He stopped TO read the
notices The proprietor OF the store
/ came out and tried to entice the
/ stranger TO enter. The latter was 81
astonished he couldn't say word. but
T walked oft He came back 10 the hotel
! and said: Did you ever see the like
/ 7 thonght knew the worst a jew could
/ do. but shat beats anything ever knew
Of I am going to make that fellow
sick in bed before night BE bought
( several hundred cigars, and got fifteen
/ or twenty empty boxes. then he took
/ up his station on the opposite side Of
/ the street. He began giving every man
/ WIS passed a cigar
Couldn't Beat the Trust.
! He had not been there over u minute
! before out rushed pious Abraham fair
/ IS bubbling over with wrath. Wy do
YOU gife away gOots in front OF my
/ store2 Do you wish TO ruin me- VINO
are YOU dot you do such a ting2 The
/ tourist looked at him for moment
handed out smokes 10 a couple of pass
/ ers by then said. 81 am the owner Of
I the American Tobacco Trust. We crush
out an competition. I have hundred
I thousand Cigars that are now being
( unloaded from the steamer. and VIII
/ advertise our goods by giving them
/ away right here" Abraham rushed
into the house, wailing al the top OF
bis voice He made more racket than
if oue of his children was dead Finally
/ ne came back and said, Blease, Mr-
[ American Trust, w do YOU PICK me
out Wy do YOU preak me, and leave
dc udder beezness men alone?' The
stranger replied. Because you are q
cheat. You have scriptures all over
your house, and you are really bad
man You are taking the name of the
Lord III vain. / viii make a day la Dor
er of YOU. If those signs were not
there. ] would probably so away. VIII
you go away if 1 NAT no more signs
shouted Abraham In less than half