New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-25
GATHERED ABOUT TOWN.

Some protests to the COMPLAINT departments OF
the big stores are not unreasonable An individual
with a dlaQidated derby hat and his check torn
from eye to chin appeared before the adjuster of
department store the ether day I've just been
run over ey one OF your wagons uptown, ne palnt.
rot the resTHed "A P4eeman Rieked me up ans
9 ar fg go came down here to see what YOU
came before the adiuster's eyes
VIVA" VIA 90 you want US to do?' he asked
reaso $50 BILE Perhars it was partly my fault. and
ana # c ic nee T Y zeal up But my 9 sss spo 10 me
yG4 HIS m eams ss a a anoth so hat r. m
Tn going TO give an imaginary hypodermic. so
I must leave you" said young doctor an up
town club the other night Asked 20 explain the
!nTasinaTy treatment, he yielded the following;
women as a patient She inlasines che can't go 70
con MINK drugs are good for her. so give her an
49, 1900 an6 WIN real needle and Htie warm
He was small office boy in a big department
store caught in the act. An expensive lamp had
followed him as he brushed by. and shattered
to fragments before he could get away Called into
err pointed out 70 him. He listened guilty until
STy VII DC stopped until you pay for that lamp.
Iheh ne gTlnned I'm sure OF steady Job for a
woman entered & postoffce substaton. which IS
also drug store, ard reques ed the clerk to gh
a package she carried and tel her the amount re-
CURED in stamps carry IL the address it bore
The c'erk weighed 1t, said Twelve cents" and re-
turned the package to the woman, with l0-cent
stamp and 2-cent stamp. Then he set about
weighing another package Presently the woman
spoke UP. you haven't given the twelve cents
in stamps for this package yet" she said. Pardon
ne. madam" said the clerk, but I have. There
they are" lie pointed to the 1O-cent stamp and
the 2-cent stamp, which still Jay top of the
pa 7kage. No. they are not snapped the woman
nat not tWetvh cents IN stamps en- c-nLs
and two cents M lSe Twelve hts, said he clerk
woman What want is we've cents il st n ps-'
and waE Cres ed as became one in oomfor; Bile CIR
90 o a"2Ss Ya a as fna Tod PO dos s
can 8. want six 2-cen stamps You ought to
mss" Mad m ked the CT TX as he care
tu!iF laid six &c Mt st Ps te.o her. you az
you Ike to have ne lick the stamps and stick Them
On for you?"
Sarcasm loses rot hing by awaiting the psyche
logical moment for its utterance. Also it often
times is most fraUght with the sharpness OF a
two edged sword when it is contained in a simple
statement Of fact a husband gtveni to periodical
looks upon the cocktail when 1t contains cherry.
his glance at such times dwelling thereon for two
or three successive days wi bout int Eruption
arose one morning recently with q head out OF ali
proportion to his hat measure, and a throat that
felt like a lmekiin No explanation was needed
when he told his wife he was going out for a mo-
mouth; he would be back right away: All she
sad was Bring steak home with you Tor o{eak AK
MS 0FaGs he he was goa a cut ne 5 he bd 6eaa
other He do feel better so much better that he
was prevailed on 10 further inprove-the state OF
er o6errS Sn0 He id rot see his nome for Wo
days again, enc morning he awoke with iron
ing o the roof Of his mouth His wife heard him