davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

"What are you going to do, Henry? ?"
asked Mrs. Uptodate as her husband
u%nwrapped a pair Of boxing gloves.
"I'm going to give Willie some les
SON in self Defense" he answered.
Every boy should know how to take
care of himself in an emergency. Come
on, Willie. l won't hurt you"
Twenty minutes later Mr. Uptodate
returned, with a hand up to his face.
Get me a piece Of raw meat to put
on my eye and some arnica," he said.
"Why, you don't mean to say that
Willie
mo, I don't. or course l don't. I've
discovered that the only way to teach
that boy is with a strap."-New York
Press.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

POSITION IN E
The Connection Between Health and
the Way Of the Bed.

The Connection Between Health and
the Way of the Bed.
A French scientist claims to have es-
tablished a distinct connection between
our health and the position which our
beds occupy with regard to the points
Of the compass. He relies upon the
fact that the sap Of trees is gradually
driven toward the east by centrifugal
force. SO that they develop more on that
side. This induces him to argue that
when we remain In bed for several
hours with our heads toward the east
this will tend to drive the liquids of our
body from west to east, and our blood
has a tendency to now toward the
brain, so that we sleep u~neasIly and
lnd ourselves less fresh when we
awake than II u feet had pointed
eastward.
II our bed stand north and south II Is
better to lie with the head northward.
m the centrifugal force acts from north
20 south In hemisphere.
This old Inscription on a bedstead Is
good: $50 that We harte be rite, 1t mat
tiers not which wave We head laye."
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01
MACAPONl.
II Is Made From the Meal of a Wheat
Called ~SemoIina.

IL Is Made From the Meal of n wheat
Called semoIina.
Macaroni, which is derived from the
italian word maccare. 70 crush, is pre-
pared from the meal of a hard variety
Of wheat which is cultivated in the
south of Europe and in other warm
climates. Its suitability for the manu-
facture of macaroni, vermicelli and
other pastes is To be found in the easy
preservation of preparations made
from it and also in its richness in glu-
ten and other heterogeneous substances.
The meal of this wheat, which is
named semolina and is itself a com
mercial article, is mixed into a stiff
dough with boiling water and while
still hot is placed into a metallic cylin-
der. at one end of which is a thick disk
pierced with openings and into the
other end Of which a piston is intro
duced, which forces the dough out
through openings which correspond
with the section of the article which it
Is intended to make.
Ordinary tube macaroni has its form
given to it by mandrels of the requisite
thickness, which are fixed within the
openings of the disk. 1t is dried by
hanging 1t in long strings In stoves
through which a current OF air is driv-
en.-London Express.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01
Thursday, December |, 1904.
FOND OF A GOOD HORSE.
Thomas Jefferson Was Particular In
Selecting His Steeds.

Thomas Jefferson Was Particular In
Selecting His Steeds.
1 am compleatly satisfied with my
horse from Major E~ggleston. a better
one In harness / never drove. he
brought me d my single phaeton from
Washington without ever appearing
fatigued, abho the roads were bad. &
the weather rainy. he is fine tempered
and manageable, tho high spirited
tho the price was about 80 ID too much
from appearances, yet | would give that
advance I'm the purchase of a horse to
know that he was what wished. Cas-
tor, * FitZpartner are both left here at
nurse, and | shall have them sold.
consequently my stable will be reduced
TO Diomede K st. Louis. a match for
Diomede, as good as he Is, would make
II up what Will suffice for me as a pri-
vate citizen. | will thank you to be
OF the enquiry, for such an one, and to
give me notice of price a. properties.
but II will be essential that he match
Diomede tolerably, and be well broke to
the carriage & nc banker. l trouble
you with these commissions because
you are In the only part OF the country
where a fine horse can be got. | leave
this for Washington the day after to
morrow. present me with all pos
siblc affection to the family, and be as
sured of my constant attachment & re
spect. TIL. JEFFERSON.
Family Letters of Thomas Jefferson
in Scribner's.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01
HOW A WATCH r
A Vibrating wheel Takes the Place
of the Clocks enduIuIn

A watch differs from a clock in its
vibrating pendulum and as in a clock
gravity is always pulling the pendulum
down TO the bottom Of its arc, which is
its natural place of rest, but o es not
fix 1t there because the momentum ac-
quired during its fall from one side
carries 1t up to an equal height on the
other, so in a watch a spring. generally
spiral, surrounding the axis of the bal
aDce wheel, is always pulling this to-
ward a middle position of rest, but does
not fix it there because the momentum
acquired during it's approach to the
middle position from either side carries
1t just as far past On the other side,
and the spring has TO begin its work
again. The balance wheel at each vi
bration allows one tooth of the adjoin-
ing wheel to pass, as the pendulum
does in a clock, and the RECORD of beats
Is preserved by the wheel which fol-
lows. A handspring is used to keep up
the motion Of the watch instead of the
weight used in a clock. and as a spring
acts equally well, whatever be its posi-
ton, a watch keeps time, although car
ried in the pocket or in a moving ship.
1n winding /up'a watIh one turn lftaA
axle on which the key is fixed is-fenaop
ed equivalent by the train Of wheels to
about 400 turns or beats of the balance
wheel. and thus the exertion during a
few seconds Of the hand which winds
up gives motion for t~wenty-four or
thirty hours.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

Il am afraid George is beginning to
grow cold toward me-" half sobbed the
young wife.
What's he been doing now?" inquir-
cd her mother sharply.
I'm his last letter he only sends me
. thousand kisses, and always before
he used to send 100000"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

The divorce laws of Sweden are elias
tic. When the incompatibility Of tenn
per reaches the eliminating point one
OF the parties proceeds to Copenhagen,
the nearest foreign town, which il on
" twelve hours distant, and remains
there for fourteen days. notifying the
Swedish consulate, which circum-
stances are regarded as legal evidence
Of desertion and suficient ground for
divorce.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

The wife of a burglar was being ex-
amined by an eminent lawyer. lyon
r the wife OF this manY' asked the
barrister. YES" replied the witness.
@You knew he was a burglar when you
married him? ?" continued the lawyer.
Eyes" she answered. And how did
you come to contract a marriage with
such a manYs well. It was this way"
said the witness sarcasticaIly. Il was
getting cid and had to choose between
. burglar and . lawyer. What else
could ! dor
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01
Keep to the Right and Go Ahead

Keep to n Right and Go Ahead.
The story is told that on a certain oc-
casion when a company OF persons
were discussing In a crowded room sa-
cred subjects ana certain prominent
men n suddenly exclaimed: II should
like to meet that bishop OF Lichneld.
I'D put a question to him that would
puzzle him."
Every WELL" said a voice out of an
other corner. now is your time. for
I am the bishop"
The man was somewhat startled and
taken aback. but presently recovered
himself and said. 'well. my lord. can
you tell me the way to heavenY
Nothing easier" answered the bish-
op: you have only to turn t the right
and go straight ahead"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

An Englishwoman had had a good
deal of trouble with her husband. who,
according to her account. was a mon
ster Of iniquity. Some one asked why
she had married a person Of such char.
acter. "Well, you see. he amt my
irst," was the reply. Il was pertickler
about my first. This here's my second,
and a bad un at that. But herewith
q shrug of the shoulders-"he's a shade
better than the work'usy"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01
DID HIS BEST.
He Brought the Only Cant Hook
That He Could Find.

He Brought the only tant HOOK
That He Could Find.
If the report of the Fulton Gazette is
true a Missouri farmer, accompanied
by several Of his hired men, went into
the woods one morning in the fall Of
the year to cut down some trees. When
about to begin work it was discovered
that the cant hook had been left be-
hind. Turning to one of the men, an
Irishman not very long over, the farm
err instructed him to drive back to the
barn for the missing tool. The Irish
man did not know what a cant hook
looked like, but was averse to exposing
his ignorance, so drove off on his err
rand. trusting to find some one at the
farm who would enlighten him.
At the barn, however, there was no
one to help him out of his dilemma.
Casting his eyes about the place for
the thing that would be most likely
to bear the name of cant hook" he
saw a mulley COW with never a sign of
a horn upon its head and concluded
1t was what he had been sent for.
Procuring a rope he fastened the COW
to the rear end of his vehicle and ex-
ultingly drove back to the woods.
what the Sam Hill have you got
therez2s
his messenger and the cow. Il sent
you for the cant hook to use in moving
the logs. What have you brought that
COW for?"
BE jabers, boss, divil another thing
could / see around the barn that can't
hook but this"
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

Mr.. Billson, between whose lower lip
and chin there was an unusually deep
wrinkle. spoke impatiently to the bar
Der.
Haven't you got my face shaved
yet?' he asked.
Not quite, SIR" said the barber apol-
o~getically. II haven't dug your ditch
yet."-Chicago Tribune.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

80 Speeder has turned out to be a
confidence a Does he sell gold
bricksf"
mo. He's an architect and plans
those $500 houses that cost $6,S50
when they're finished Cleveland
Leader.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

Hoax-My wife went but to shop to-
day and lost q pocketbook containing
e20. Joax-Did she lose It going to the
stores or coming backi Hoax-Going.
! said there was money In II. didn't I?
-Philadelphia Record.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

"You told me that when we were
married you would see that my every
wish was g~ratihed." remarked the
bride Of q few weeks
"wenY' replied her husband rather
curly.
~Well, i wish / was single again.
Philadelphia Press.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

One Of the striking points Of human
nature Is that a man usually can see
bow aptly criticism 6ts some one else.
-Insurance Presa
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

Eggs have their faults. but, at any
rate. they are never too fresh.-Phila-
delphia Record.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01

~woman overworked! Fudge! Think
- the men!v
~Ah. but you know the old saying.
'Foman's work II never DONE"
= know It, and that's the reason she
oughtn't to complain. A man has to do
his work or lose his job
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1904-12-01
49,: ' pr

sIuts UNtT"tn~ NOceSSVS OF HdtUIF III
the small as well as in the large-alike
In atoms, satellites and suns-and that
every transformation Of matter and
force. great or insignificant. includes
the return of exact equivalents and
compensation.-From Balance: The
Fundamental Verify" by Orlando J..
Smith,
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
sli2 500 Tor a Prescription.

The largest sum ever paid for pre-
scription, changed hands in San Fran
cisco, Aug. 30, 1901. The transfer in
volved in coin and stock s112, 10000 and
was paid by party of business men for
q specific for Bright's Disease and Dia-
betes, hitherto incurable diseases.
They commenced the serious investi-
cation of the specific Nov. 10, 1900.
They interviewed scores Of the cured
and tried it out on its merits by putting
over three dozen cases on the treatment
and Watching them. They also got ply
sicians to name chronic, incurable cases,
and administered it with the physicians
for judges. Up to Aug. 25, eighty y-seyen
per cent Of the test cases were either
we'll or progressing favorably.
There being but thirteen per cent Of
failures, the parties were satisfied and
closed the transaction. The proceedings
Of tho investigating committee and the
clinical reports of the test cases were
published and will be mailed free on ap-
plication. Address JOHN j. FuLToN
COMPANY, 42O Montgomery st. San Fran
cisco, Cal.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
snakss, Eye. Nexsr clo,ed.

Snakes may almost be said to have
glass eyes. inasmuch as their eyes
never close. They are without lids.
and each is covered with a transpar-
emit scale. much resembling glass.
When the reptile sheds its outer skin
the eye scales come of with the rest
OF the transparent envelope out of
which the snake slips. This CLASSY
eye scale is so tough that 1t effec-
tually protects the true eye from the
twigs. sharp grass and other obstruc-
tions which the snake encounters in
its travels. yet 1t is transparent
enough to allow the most perfect
vision. Thus, II the snake has not a
glass eye. It may, at any rate. be said
to wear glasses.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
Healthy Mothers

Mothers should always keep in good
bodily health. They owe it to their
childrsn. Yet it is no unusal sight to
see mother, with babe in arms, cough
ing violently and exhibiting all the
symptoms of consumptive tendency.
And why should this dangerous condi-
tion exist, dangerous alike to mother
and child, when DIR. Boschee's German
Syrup would put stop to it at once?
No mother should be without this old
and tried remedy IN the house-for it's
timely use will promptly cure any lung.
throat or bronchial trouble in herself or
children. The worst cough or cold can
he speedily cured by German Syrup; 30
can hoarseness and congestion Of the
bronchial tubes. 1t makes expectora-
tion easy, and gives instant relief and
refreshing rest TO the cough -racked con-
sumptive. New trial bottles 25c; large
size, Toe. AT all druggist.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14

New Mexico Territorial Fair, AL
berquerque, New Mex, Oct. 10 10,
1904. Rate round trip $1,000, date
of sale, Oct. 8 to IA, inclusive.
Final return limit Oct. IL, 1904.
Colorado State Fair, 26 30, Pueb
10, Colo, Rate rounn trip, $40,
date of Sale Sept. 26 u %. Final
return limit Oct. /, 1904.
Woodmen of the World, Denver,
Colo, Oct. 13 10, rate round trip
80 35, dates of sale Oct. IL l3. Final
return limit Oct. 16.
Fremont Co. Fair and Fruit Day,
Canon, City, Colo, 81 %, rate round
trip 1910, date of sale Sept. 21.
Final return limit Sept. "a.
World Fair tickets-Fifteen day
tickets may be sold at S27. Stop
overs al Kansas CITY of 10 days on
Worlds Fair tickets May be allowed
by depositing ticket with joint agent
at Kansas City.
Special round trip rates to Chica-
go and return June LIST to Sept. 30,
1904, rate S3l.50 for round trip.
Date of sale June l, to Sept. 30 in
elusive, final return limit Sept. 81,
1904. Tickets may be sold in one
direction, either going or returning
via st. Lonis. Stopovers in St.
Louis of 10 days will be allowed
upon deposit of ticket Immediately
on arrival OF one OF the offices and
payment of fee of 81.
g. j. GARNIS, Agt.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
The stomach is tho Man

A weak stomach weakens the man,
because it cannot transform the food he
eats into nourishment. Health and
strength cannot be restored to any sick
man or weak woman without first re-
storing health and strength to the stom-
ach. A weak stomach cannot digest
enough food to feed the tissues and re-
vive the tired and run down limbs and
organs of the body. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure digests what you eat. cleanses and
strengthens the glands and membranes
of the stomach, and cures indigestion,
dyspepsia and all stomach troubles.
For sale by Myers Pharmacy.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
From ,4s to % Pounds

One Of the most remarkable cases Of II
cold, deep-seated on the lungs, causing
pneumonia, is that Of Mrs Gertrude E.
Fenner, Marion, Ind, who WAS entirely
cured by the use or One Minute Cough
Cure. She says: "The coughing and
straining 30 weakened me that l ran
down in weight from 1iS to 92 pounds.
/ tried number OF remedies to no avail
until used One Minute Cough Cure.
four bottles of this wonderful remedy
cured me entirely of the cough, siren
gthened my lungs and restored me to
my normal weight, health and strength" !"
Sold byMyers Pharmady.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
Moses and Pharaoh,

Certain summer tourists visited .
Highland church about i've years ago.
when the worthy clergyman chanced
to be expounding the story of the de-
struction Of Pharaoh and his host. His
peroration was in these sublime
words: And Mossus and his people
crossed ofer safely to the other side,
but Pharaoh and his host were sub
merged in the water. And Pharaoh
lifted up his eyes and saw Mossus
standing safely on the other side,
and he cried and said. oh. Mossus.
safe mel But Mossus nefer let on
that he was hearing him. And he
cried again. and said. oh. Mossus.
safe me. and I will let the children of
Israel got And Mossus turned and
looked at him. and said. Pharaoh.
think haf seen you pefore.' Scot
tish American.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
eloquent and effective Plea.

Representative Hill of Connecticut
had q bill up for the relief of q post.
master in his district who had lost
money through the theft of stamps
from the postoface. He showed that
one Of the thieves was serving time
In Illinois and one in New York. Rep
resentative Boutell of Illinois came to
the rescue Of Representative Hill and
made an eloquent plea for Hills claim,
beginning thus: 'Mr. Speaker, here IL
where Illinois and New York Join
hands-throush Joliet and Sing Sing
TO help this worthy citizen II Con.
AsetieuA"
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
LII. Nutrlm.ns In str.wb.rry.

The Lancet. ever keen in its task
Of disillusiooment. analyses the straw.
berry to show its lack of nutritive
value. The analysis is as follows:
Water, $4,000 per cent; soluble salts
(including free acid). 1.146; lime and
iron salts. 1877; proteid, 800; sugar.
$500; oily matter. .154; cellulose and
seeds, 2.463. The strawberry is con.
sumed rather for the sake of its mois.
ture, sweetness and flavor than fol-
any value that 1t may possess As q
food and. according to analysis, this
value is small.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
AbscesS

w. II. Harrison, Cleveland. MISS,
writes, Aug. 10, 1902: II want to say a
word OF praise for Billiards. Snow Lin4
iment- stepped on nail, which caus-
ed the cords in my leg to contract and
an abscess to rise on my knee, and the
doctor told me that l would have a stiff
leg, 80 one day 1 went TO j. F.. Lords
drug store (who IS now in Denver, Colo.)
He recommended a bottle of Snow Lini
ment; 1 got SOC size, and it cured my
leg. 1t is the best llniment in the world.
Abscesses, with few exceptions, are
OF constipation or debility. They may,
however. result from blows or from for
eign bodies, introduced into the skin or
flesh, such as splinters, thorns, etc.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
In Praise Of ChamberiaIn's Collie
Cholera and Oiarrhoea Remedy

"Allow me TO give you few words in
praise of Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy" says Mr.. John
Hamlett, of Eagle pass. Texas. Il suf-
fered one week with bowel trouble and
took all kinds of medicine without get
ting relief, when my friend, Mr.. O..
johnson, merchant here. ADVISED me
to take This remedy. After taking one
dose felt greatly relieved and when l
had taken the third dose was entirely
cured, / thank you from the bottom of
my heart for putting this great remedy
in the hands Of mankind" AT all drug
Rists.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
NOTICE OF PUBLICATION.
U.s.LAsD oTrIcE LAMB. CoLo. !

U. g. LAND OFFICE LANAI. Colo.
Aug. 2. 1901.
Notice Is hereby given that the follOwing-nam-
cd settler has filed notice of his intention to
mako final proof in support Of his claim, and
that said proof will be made before the Clerk of
the County Court, at Las Animas, Colorado. on
Saturday. September 10. 1904. viz: John II
Heinen, II. <, No, 1854, for the e4 sek and OK
mex, sec Is. twp Is S. rng 40 W. 9Th p. IN.
He names the following witnesses to prove
Of said land. viz:
Benigno III Santistevan. Celso Santistevan.
Joseph Heinen. Baily Hart, all OF Las Animas.
Colorado.
as 81 JOHN WILLIAMS, Register.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
Sour Stomach

When the quantity of food taken is
too large or the quality too rich, sour
stomach is likely TO folly, and especially
SO if the digestion has been weakened
by constipation. Eat slowly and not
100 freely OF easily digested food. Mas
ticate the food thoroughly. Let five
hours elapse between meals, aud when
you feel fullness and weight in the
region OF the stomach after eating, take
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver Tab
let's and the sour stomach may be avoid
ed. For sale byall druggists.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
Tragedy Avorted

"Just in the nick of time our little
boy mas saved" writes Mrs. w. Watkins
of Pleasant City, Ohio. "Pneumonia
had played sad havoc with him and q
terrible cough set in besides. Doctors
treated him but he grew worse every
day. At length we tried DIR. Kings
New Discovery for Conumption, and our
darling was saved. He's now sound,
and WE'LL" Every body ought to know,
it's the only sure cure for coughs, colds
and all lung diseases. Guaranteed by
/. IL. Myers, druggist. Price SOC and
and SlOO, Trial bottles free.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
what's IN a NameP

Everything is In the name when it
comes to Witch Hazel Salve. Il. @ De-
Witt Il Co., Chicago, discovered some
years ago how to make a salve from
Witch Hazel that is specific for piles.
For blind, bleeding, itching and pro-
truding piles, eczema, cuts, burns, bruis-
es and all skin diseases, DeWitt's Salve,
has no equal. This has given rise to
numerous counterfeits. Ask for De-
Wits the genuine. For sale by
Myers Pharmacy.
The Lamar register., 1904-09-14
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION.
UNITED STATES LAND OFFICE,
LAMAR, Colo, Aug. 2, 1904.

UNITED STATES LAND offiCEt
LAMAR, Colo. Aug. 2. 1S04.S
Notice il hereby given that the following-na am
n ed settler has filed notice of his intention
to make final proof in support Of his claim, and
that said proof will be made before the Clerk
Of the County Court. at Las Animas. Colorado.
on Saturday. September 10. 1901. viz: Benigno
N. SantistenvaR. II. K. No. 41i6, for the eh nek
and en sei4, sec "a twp Is s, rng 10 W. 9th p. m
He names the following witnesses to prove
his continuous residence upon and cultivation
of said land. viz:
John Heinen, Joseph II. Heinen, Baily Hart.
Johu Garca. all Of Las Animas. Colorado.
a3s7 JOIN A. WILLIAMS. Register.