Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-03-10

Pardon me- said. There are 9th
ers waiting to see me-"


you-see-'t-cost - me-ten-oents-
to - come - e-from-Broad-
Ripple-'n' / thought"
''Jawkins!" | shouted, "show tn,
next man in."
The next man was colored man
who was evidently employed in th.
whitewashing business. He was white
everywhere except on his skin. and he
powdered lime all over my apartment
"Jes' called t. see bout that dorg
mister" he explained. with a grin.
Dogs gone" grunted.
No, stree; no, he amt. ! seed thai
air preacher fellow a-wrestling with
the dorg, and done tole i'm he'd bet.
ter drap him, case he's mine, N the
dorg's out there a-waitin' fer me now
well, hang it all. go out and get
him, then. don't care who gets him,
so long as some of you take him away"
All right, sir; that dorg ert My am
mine, n Use gwine to have i'm"
Then young lady with an abbrevi-
ated skirt and an affected manner
sldled into my room.
THANK you SO much," she giggled,
for advertising my Fldo. You know
lost him while was shopping in the
Baltimore store last Friday. Dear lit.
tie fellow, | do hope you've fed him.
l know he won't eat meat. We ALWAYS
give him bread and milk. I'd like to
pay you for your trouble, and how
much did the advertisement cost?
suppose I'll have to pay that ?"
Miss l said, there's some mis-,
take. The dog I've advertised is not
named Fido. do not know what his
name is, but it's not Fido. AS for feed
ing him bread and milk, this dog has
eaten two dollars worth of porterhouse
steak and"
'Well, | do think the police ought to
get after these people who put mislead-
ing advertisements in the papers.
suppose they're too busy arresting
gamblers to pay any attention to these
confidence men; if my brother were
here, he'd show you how to-
"Jawkins," | shouted, 'show the lady
out"
BEG pardon, sir" said Jawkins, with
a suspicion of smile. "There's seven
boys of varying ayes. about sc men,
nine women and a policeman waiting
in the front yard to see you, sir; | be-
lieve it's in regard to an ADVERTISE
ment."
80, Lord!" CALCULATED "Show up
the most respectable, Jawkins."
1t was middleaged woman of
hard visage that came in, and took
the most comfortable chair in the
place.
Would you mind throwing that
nasty cigar down." she said, looking at
me from over her spectacles. IL cant
abide smoke"
"Certainly, madam" l said, throw
ing my cigar in the fireplace. "What
can DO for you? Did you come about
the lost dog?"
Il came, sir, as the representative Of
he Associated Workers in the Cause
Of Right Livingh to ask you for sub
scription to"
Madam, never subscribe thus early |
n the morning." replied.
"They're still a-comlng, sir" broke
n Jawkins.
They were coming indeed!
They came on foot, in carriages, in
arm wagons, in buggies. Each street
,ar that stopped by my door dis
charged half a dozen or more passen-
yers, who rushed pell-mell to my gar
len, which was by this time a seething
mass of humanity. AS | went to the
ront porch and looked out over the
ea of faces, | could hear many in the
rowd calling some one "swindler,"
/. cheat" and saying: Don't believe
ie's got any dog" IT'S all put-up
anne" 'He ought to be arrested" and
imilar remarks.
l sneaked back into the front hall
way. "Jawkins," said, where is that
og?"
That minister's trying to coax him
ut of the stable, SIR" was the reply.
I went back to the stable and
ound the collie still tied there, but he
'as getting excited at the noise out
ide and at the strange manner of the
heosophist, who was, L believe, try
lg to hypnotic him. Under my in
lructiOns, Jawkins loosened the chain,
nd the dog, with a savage snarl,
prang at the Theosophist, who turned
nd fled. So did |. The dog caught the
lnister before he had gone very far
nd took good taste of theosophical
loOd; then he turned on the darky
nd got mOuthful Of whitewash, and
len, catching glimpse of the large
'owd, he ran around the house, and,
18th battle cry in his throat, sailed
/.
L was so exsted and so exasperated l
the events of the morning that | for
ot myself, and in the midst of the
elee found myself shouting: "Sic
m, Tige! Take 'em, Oil man! Good
)pUiet Sic ,eu' Cic'n