New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-10-15
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Archbishop Thompson was greatly surprised
when he was given the archdiocese Of York, lie
had been suffering scutely from toothache, and
upon medical advice had resorted to narcotics.
After a particularly bad night he set out for his
doctor though his wife had besought him not 70
submit 10 further narcotics. after them he was
not himself for some hours On the way he
met the postman. who handed him letter
nouncing his preferment from Gloucester TO York.
He rushed back and burst excitedy into the house.
the toothache all forgotten. Zoe. Zoe,'' he cried.
what do you think has happened? am Arch
bishop Of York. There. what old l tell you?''
rejoined his wife You've been taking that hor-
rid narcotic again. and quite out OF your head"
An Easy ChoSe.-weary woggles-Ds eye doc
sothful Joe-DsLs hard luck. wot did you tell
Wear woggIes-pat guessed Ia seen every
thng.-iTown Topics.
Japan learned much about var from Germany.
but now the teacher turns 10 the pupil. Germany
has condemned her quick firing field artillery
obsolete. and adopted style OF sun like those in
use in the japanese army The German guns have
only been in use six years.
THE MAGAZINE HERO
The Magazine Hero IS big ard broad
And handsome and brave and hne:
And who would write must follow the cut
And fashion him line for line
II doesn't matter what real men are
In everyday life know
There are things the Magazine Man must De.
Would dare to carve Magazine Man
In the stature Of hys feet four:
Is very seldom more?
The Magazine Man is ,o, ,soeg ss,g grad"
And starred on the footoa i ne.o; ,.-,
With pair OF shears TO WELD?
oh. the Magazine Hero gets in fights.
Imagine making him run If ne could
Which is just what man would do
The Magazine Hero loves and weds
vucal< ar H9yFe
For it Isn't a, question OF dollars and cents.
Which is only real mans way.
So we model him after the regular rule.
And our story Is read with giee
For people dent want want what that Al, real man pa Is
nut "l1' 'A'' "'0'1 ''' Grown Topics
France has issued new 25-centime pieee OF
nickel struck of in polygoual form to avoid re-
semhance % silver coins Of about the same size.
Though the new coin has twenty-five edges, Il
will probably hnd its way out Of the pocket with
as much facility the old circular sort.
The two men on the street corner had been
wranglng over politics for half an hour. and
crowd had gathered. One OK them was hercely de.
by iperiasn?'' demanded the other Tets hear
your idea OF Il" Imperialism, sr-imperialism Is
before these half-growp bOys2"-(Chicago Tribune
Tho Corean Minister az 81. Petersburg is In sore
straits His government. or what Is left OF IL. has
recalled him. but he has not money enough TO set
home. Since the outbreak Of the war in the East
or other and he is in debt for $4,000. No
government seems willing TO Fay his salary and
he cannot Jump 81. Petersburg without paying his
bills so he must stay there until some one or
something goes TO his rescue.
A LEVEL HEAD.
She pluclxed daisy they passed.
A sweet, late daisy. from IT'S stem
The fields had been so full OF them
"Ah-but the summer fled too fast!
She said, and held the daisy tips
lOh happy howerD against her hps
He said-what does young say
When Beauty. in fetching gown.
With pensive brow and eyes cast down.
Walks by his side, at close OF day,
Knowing the morrow'S sun may show
Them. each. separate way 70 soT
The truth is-young men. a rule.
The same remark don't always make
For different treatment take.
He said "Oh. well-trs grown 80 cools
One longs 90 be in town again.
I go I'D by the morning tratn!'
--(Madene Bridges. In Brooklyn Lie.
The last Of the oldtime convicts transported from
Great Britain 10 Tasmania has Just died His
name was Frederick Clarke, and he sent to the
colony in lss7 under year sentence. In
short period he did hushranging. bank roooins and
enough other amusing little things TO pile up over
eighty-nve years worth OF sentences.
Trying IT on the Dos.-"Pop''
Eyes, my SON"
sFgNhen the dog daysr'
''Ths dog Gays. my boy. come in the uEne OF the
year when the theatrical companies go away from
houas 70 Try new DIsosA stAissmAo.