New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-20
TIE TALK or THE DAY.

The world" declares the literary editor of The
Bluff city News" 'can never pay TIE debt it owes
such fictitious writer's as Hawthorne. Mckenzie.
Lander Hunt and Marion Harland and many others
whose names familiar TO all"
CHRISTMAS BEFORE AND AFTER.
Tommy wants pair of skates
Tommy wants 'em now.
Mamma wants a Turkish rug,
Dolly wants watch and chain.
Johnny dreams of drums
When Merry Christmas comes.
Tq pIalLII. get a a handkerchief
MAMMAL get a calendar,
To tell her what to cook
Papa'u get box of fudge
D0liy'Il get a pin s,...,
To keep his collars in.
So it happens every year
Awful lot of things we want,
Always happens always will
Don't know who's to blame.
Wish you all a very Merry
-(somervle Journal.
Senator Patterson. Of Colorado tells of Cripple
Creek character named Burns. He odd
person who always, no matter what his work,
what used 10 be called Prince Albert" He
struck a rich vein of ore. and named that the
Prince Albert Being OF generous and Convvial
disposition this lucky fellow was. Of course. sur
rounded by many self-seeking friends. When he
eye to the main chance, managed to wheedle out
of Burns on one pretext another. deed of
share in his mine With royal prodigality he scat
tered deeds about among his retaners and camp
followers until finally something had to be done,
and the case taken into court. Senator Patter-
son of Denver was one of the~Tawyers. lie had
Burns on the stand. Now. Mr.. Burns" said SEN
ator Patterson will please tell the court how
YOU can explain your conduct? The evidence shows
that you have decided away twenty-nine twenty
uoP,- mine hat bHt-
that We'll Misther Patterson" replied the wit
ness, you must remember sor, that the Prince
Albert is a very large mine
HICKORY ROAD
I'm kind glad I'm dwelling quiet like. on Hickory
1t amt like Wall Street where the fortunes swell
We never feel the burden of them great financial
A man that shows dollar bill is putin on some
airs.
At o'clock the lights go out. We've all been
But we don't have shootin' trays. nor mysteries
Nor no policemen losin' sleep to see who they kin
We never get a chance to see the splendors it is
That are unfolded there on Pennsylvania avenue
But were Twin long an easy. in good old
An I'm kind o glad I'm dwellin' quiet like on
Hickory Road. -tWashington Star.
Representative Curtis tells a story of the con-
sultation of a friend OF his. Southern Kansas
lawyer with palmist.
My friend" said Mr.. Curtis. had his own hand
read at my urgent request. The paImist studied
the lines nte1tly for little before making several
observations. the last Of which was:
You are evidently a barber.
No said my friend
g Then. what are you?'
." a lawyer
But said the lady, much to my friends dis
comhure will you tell me what IS the difference
between being shaved by a barber and skinned bv n
lawyer "
Aunt Jane-Did Mr.. sweetser propose last even
Garrie-How did you happen to guess ito Yes
and Tn going to take out a policy for 5000
For mercys sake, what do YOU mean?'
We'll you see he began TO make love to me but
the chance 10 get a new applicant was so strong
he couldn't resist. lie $ nIe insurance solicitor,
you know."-(Boston Transcript
AS result of experiments made in some Of tho
HOSPITALS in Paris II is stated that vaccination nar
formed under a red light leaves no scar and causes
less pain The patient is vaccinated in a room
where the only light Is incandescent lamp with
a red globe.
Real Nerve Bilnkers-Could YOU lend me vopr
racing auto for the afternoon, old chap?
R,,pktrs Tbanks awrully And say-er-co,Ia
iPuck
A Hungarian blacksmith recently sent. as a pres
ent TO the Emperor OF Austria, horseshoe a pair
of pncers a file and knife all ingeniously nailed
to a goose's egg without the egg being broken
The Emperor sent in return. his photograph, gold
medal and thirty ducats.
What It Proved. Mountaineering was this
" Big Stick you fellows talked 50 "'"'" ABOUT dur
Democrat lsadly)-A boomerang = Cleveland