The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-06-18
5lzzN2Ee


me, how you have CROWN
"she says she is very fond OF mu-
sic" 'sInstrumentalr' well, it's in
strumental In making the neiEhbors
swear when she gets at the piana."-
Exchange.
Jinkins-How is your son getting
along in his literary labors? Jorkins
oh, famouslyl You should see how
gracefully he carries his pen behind
his ear.-Boston Transcript.
Tonsorial Artist-Your hair seems
to be coming out. Freshman-Yes. it
Is. Tonsorial Artist-Tried our hair
tonic? Freshman-Yes. but that didn't
do It, though.-Yale Record.
How hollow it soundsP' said a pa
tient under the movement cure, as the
physician was vigorously pounding his
chest "Oh, that's nothingr' said the
doctor; wait till we get to the head"
Alice aged 5)-Mamma, my appe-
tite says it's time for dinner. Mother
We'll, dear, go and see what the
clock says. Alice (some seconds later)
The clock says my appetite is ten
minutes fastl
Husband-Whatl A hundred dol
lars for an opera cloak7 Why. it is
perfectly ridiculous, my dear. Wife
Yes, 1 know it is; but you said you
couldn't afford an expensive one.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Teacher - Johnny, write on the
blackboard the sentence 1.-TWO heads
are better than one" Now, Johnny.
do you believe that? Johnny-Yes'm.
Cause then you kin get a job IN a
dime museum and make lots O.
money.
AT what age do you consider wom-
en- the most charming?" asked the in
quisitive female of more or less I'M
certain age. "At the age of the wom-
an who asks the question" answered
the man, who was a APPROXIMATELY
Yorker.
Howes-Don't like this cold wealth
er, eh7 Why. only last summer you
were complaining of the heat. Barnes
Not of the heat itself. but rather be-
cause of its untimeliness. 1t would be
all right If reserved for such weather
as this.-Boston Transcript.
You may turn up your nose at me.
Martha Ann Billiwink, but want you
to remember it's leap year. and Kit
Garlinghorn is trying to get me away
from you" "Well, I'll just show the
freckle-faced thing she can't do that
George dearr'-Chicago Tribune
Father" said Kathie, ''how much
J does quite small bottle of ink cost?'
: "You can get one for a penny" an
I swered father. "a pennyr' exclaimed
. Kathie, in great disgust. "And num-
e mic made an awful fuss when I upset
D the littlest bottle in the cupboardw
Aren't you ashamed Of your indo-
lence Indeed, l am" answered
Meandering Mike. 1--WE been trying
to do something for it." "whatY'
1--WE been takin' de faith cure. I've
!, been chopin make-pelieve wood wit
: an imaginary ax."-Washington Star,
Newitt-Well, there's one thing
- about the weather. It's always a safe
3 topic Of conversation. Borroughs--l
Il thought it was to-day when l met
4 Lendham, but when l started to speah
i OF it he said, Eyes, it's unsettled, anC
y that reminds me of that account OF
/. yours"
Dear" said the politicians wife
there's a handsome big policeman
whose beat embraces Mrs. Swellman'i
house. Can't you get him transferred
u to this neighborhood" What forT
q demanded her husband. Mrs. Swell
5 man has an excellent cook and l wan
. her"-Philadelphia Press.
L The officers Of a British man-o'wa
were entertaining their friends with
D. grand lunch and In attendance wer
= some typical British tars. A youni
. lady, wanting a piece of bread looke'
behind her chair at one OF the sailor
in waiting, and asked him to bring he
: what she wanted. But he drew him
self up, stiff and stern, and, to he
amazement, replied, Cant do it, miss
I'm told of for taturs."
An Up-to-Date Village.-"Do 20
have a good lecture course here durin
the winter?' was asked Of the manage
of the Higginsville Lyceum. "Indee
we do" he answered; land next seaso
we expect to Guido all previous record
So far we have booked one ransome
missionary, one reformed gambler, on
troupe Of trained animals, one CONVEX
ed heather, one moving picture mi
chine and one professional personato
We may take on a college professor WI
wants to speak about the tendency (
modern literary thought, but 1 don
know. It's pretty hard to keep Il
course on the same high plane
thought throughout
= The Other Side of the Story: ST
rs gleton-What's the trouble, old ma
q you look all broke up. Wederly-Yc
!. would doubtless look broke up, too,
m you had a mother-in-law like min
of and She Singleton-Hal The oil
~ old story; she's coming to spend n fe
weeks with you, l suppose. Weder
(sadly)-No; on the contrary, she hi
/, been with us two months, and to-ds
1, she was compelled to return home. 81
r nursed my wife through a bad case
Is fever, took care of the baby, attend
9 to the household duties, mended n
!. clothes, and loaned me five dollars
:, three different occasions. Oh, l t,
:. you, that woman is an earthly ana
- II there ever was one.-Ex.
lie Enough TO Hold Him for Awhile.