The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-03-26


Did you ever engage In an auto.
mobile racer" Eyes, once" CHOW
did you come outP' ION crutches two
months later"
Sne--l just know you don't love me
as you did. He-But, darling. how can
you think that? Because YOU are not
half so foolish as you were."-Life.
Not in His Line: Employer-You
don't seem to be able to do anything,
New Clerk-Well, I always had a DO.
itical job until I struck this one
Judge.
Benedict-Milton's wife left him,
didn't she? Bachelor-rhat's the
story. did he write anything after
that event" "Oh, yes-'Paradise Re.
gained!"
He-I think the bride was wonder.
fully lucky in receiving so many beau
tlful wedding presents. She-Oh, she
always was lucky in that respect
Brooklyn Life.
Casey-There's throuble over at
! Ciancy's. Coshgan-Phwat is ut?
Casey-A family foight. Costigan-
shure, that's not throuble, that's entye-
ment-T1t-Bits
Little Willie-What is the difference
between character and reputation, pa
Pa-Character Is a luxury, my son,
while reputation is a necessity
cago Daily News.
The Brute-What are you thinking
of, Mamie? Mamie-I am dreaming
OF my youth The Brute-I thought
you had a faraway look In your eyes.
Princeton Tiger.
COW PA, what is a model MANI" "a
model man, my son, is generally a
very small sample copy, or facsimile,
of real man. and Is usually made Of
putty. Smart Set.
Cope-I hear your boss expects to
raise your salary this month? Hope
80 he says. But he hasn't succeeded
in raising all of last months yet
Philadelphia Ledger.
Accounted For: How did you get
your black eye, Sambo" "Well, boss,
yer see l was out a-lookin' fer trouble,
and dis ere eye was de fust t. find it."
I-Yonkers Statesman.
as your daughter happily married,
Mrs. Ashleigh?' ooh, yes! She and
her husband are both devoted to their
clubs, and often don't see each other
for two weeks at a timer
what makes you think she has a
saving sense Of humor" Because
she laughed so heartily when she de-
scribed the way you proposed to her
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
First Author-How many copies Of
your book have been sold? Second
Author-I don't know. 1 haven't seen
anything about the sales except the
publishers affidavit.--Life.
81 asked her If she would scream for
her mother if l kissed her" What
did she sayT" "She said her mother
was fully capable of doing her own
screaming. "-Houston Post.
"Then you have no sympathy for the
deserving poor" said the charity
worker. "Me" retorted the self-made
man; "why, sir, have nothing but
sympathy."-Chicago Daily News.
Deledia-Phat are yez dom, takin
the lock off the cupboard dure, Pat,
Are yez chrazy? Pat-No, darlint; tn
.dochtor tould me to-day that l mus
, quit boltin' me food-and I'm goin' tt
obey insthrustions!
Eyes. I'll give you meal of vic
tuals If you'll shovel off these side
walks" would you not prefer, mad
. am, to have me shovel off the SNOWY
| "Poor fellow! Have you tramped al
the way from Boston?'-Chicago Trib
) une.
: sandy-Why are yer runnin' 80 fast
pard? Cinders-Dere's a lynchin' moi
} behind me. Sandy-Dey don't want tt
lynch yer, do dey? Cinders,-No, bu
dey want dis clothesline I'm wear1n
as suspenders fer der rope.--Chicag'
= News.
q "What's all this fuss aboutT aske'
= the policeman, stepping between tn
two young men. The one that had go
, the worst Of it and was wiping tn
blood from his nose pointed to the 9th
er fellow. HE can tell you her nam
If he wants to-" he said. II WON'T
Chicago Tribune.
They had been discussing the baby,
ears, eyes and nose. "And | think 1t
got its fathers hair" said the 1oytu
young mother. "Oh, is that "nos 90
it? I noticed 1t was missing" An
as the tall girl with the suave man
ner said this, the mother looked dU
biously at her.-Judge-
"Oh, yes, I've opened an office" sal
the young lawyer; you may rememoe
that you saw me buying an alarr
clock the other day" yes rep1e
his friend; you have to get up earl
these mornings, eh2" "Oh, no. us
II to wake me up, when it's time