New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-07-31
C0rRTLNG ETTQUETTE.

r,-a- s,roa tho ST Louis convention the point
of efiaue.+e as TO the timeliness OF Judge
porl,er's telegram has been under dlscuSSloH
Many have agreed with Mr. Bryan that, WINE
Judge Parker did Il manly thing 10 Ten 'H0
country his financial views after ne was hoiiii
mated he would have done more many 'Hiis'
hv telling his views before the nomination 1t
looked as if popular opinions on TINS suoJe0'
were so divergent that ii would remain AZ Oi'e'
question during the campaign but It Is happA!
set at rest by an Evening Post correspondent
in Boston. the home of correct manners ana
true gentility The Boston writer convinchsly
demonstrates that whatever may be said or the
comparative manliness Of a telegram before ana
after the nomination. it perfectly ladyIlAe
for Judge Parker to announce his views Wheh
lie did and would have been sh0ckinGly IN
naidenly to have spoken before. He declares;
As a rule one does not, for obvious reasons,
decline thing until he gets IT. Does the youis
woman decline offer OF marriage before IL 10
made? Did J. 6. s., assuming that he Is q
married man. get sweet scented note shoruy
before bc Manned 10 put the fateful question,
running somewhat like this: Il regard ice cream
''as an essential part of my diet. Nothing mas
been said in our conversation about my having
eli ever day. II YOU are intending to ask me
TO be your wife, and do not intend to give mo
ice cream every day. want 10 say right mere
that YOU had better ask some other glrl ms
method may meet the approval OF the Repup-
Ijran youth of the country. but 1 doubt If 1t
comes into general favor
Now. there is a practical view of the situ-
alton which carries conviction OF the stalu pro-
priety OF Judge Parker's action much more
surely than the romantic nonsense OF some Oh
olir newspaper novelists who would try 10
make a tragic heroine out Of diftreetiy demure
Young lady The Boston rule of political match-
making is a sensible one. No young lady would
get an offer who declared TO every caller tastes
III %
eligible daughters would think of bringing them
up in that way.
When the fair Altoona wants husband, the
thing is for Mother David TO go to Albany. get
n trousseau and advertise its beauties, and for
Father August 10 whisper at the club that he
has n rich dowry TO go with the bride Brother
John should see that the neighborhood, in reso-
lutions drawn by himself with AltOnas help,
votes her the most popular girl in the State, the
most gentle, tractable, economical and amena-
bic 10 family authority, fond OF simple break
fast foods and content to dress in cheap for
eign calicoes. He will carefully refrain, how
ever. from having any mention made of her
taste for ice cream. That would be immodest.
Let Brother Elliot 20 down South and tell the
members of the young mans family who have
n prejudice against girls with ice cream appe-
tites that Altoona loves the South and will make
an excellent wife. Then ii is time for Mother
David and Father August and all the big
brothers to go and confer with the elected
bridegrooms relatives at the 81. Louis matri-
monial market.
When it comes to discussing the marriage
contract Mother David who has sweet tooth,
suggests that there should be clause making
4 liberal ice cream allowance. Lawyer Bryan
objects. and asks if Altoona is addicted 10 ice
cream. Mother David protests that she doesn't
know in the least. She has lived with Altoona
I'll her life, but never heard her say that she
liked ice cream, or noticed If she ate it ar all.
When most of her companions in the New-York
Democratic school were on strike against the
anti-ice cream edicts of four and eight years
before she had obeyed the rules like a good
girl and uncomplainingly eaten the most indi-
gestible food which came TO the school table.
IF anybody doubted il. Brother Elliot had
letter from Altoona telling how she twice ate
crow which she had authorized him TO show TO
the young man proof of her strong diges-
ton. The ice cream clause is omitted, and
Mother David declares herself perfectly salts
fed. She only suggested ii because she thought
il would impress the neighbors. Then Brother
Martin gets up and says they need not he at
all afraid Of Altoona. She understands perfectly
that she must take soup. or get up and give
her place TO Mary Ann She wants to get mar
ried. and the young man may rest assured that
she will ask no more ice cream than he NAV
want to get on his own account. She won't at
tempt TO wear the trousers, but Is content to be
the servant. not the ma ster. IN the household
So does skilful family bring negotiations TO
a successful conclusion. The contract is signed
The formal betrothal takes place. Mother David
sends word to Altoona that the young man is
hooked. He cannot get away without being
hurt and rendered too ridiculous TO make another
good match. Then is the time for the coy and
blushng Altoona TO say: go or stay as YOU
like, but me 10 the ice cream freezer"
We agree with the Boston correspondent that
the true road TO political mntrimony is modesty
and discretion. Don't advertise an ice cream
appetite till you've caught the young man.