davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
HUMOR In STREET SIGNS
THE WAY ADVERTISERS PERPE-
TRATE WITTIcIsMs.
Many Are Unconscious of the Odd Man
ner in Which Combinations
Are Formed.

Washington affords an interesting display
OF natural wit exhibited by citizens who
innocently exercise their Unborn humor
by way OF advertisement. Countless speci-
mems of amusing gns and queer pll ices.
ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous.
can be met with at almost any point with
In the city. They are so prolific, varied and
funny as to convey to stranger the sus-
picion of a preconcerted plan of organza
ton for the purpose of advertising local
wit and humor.
he can get "hot ice cream puffs," and in
an adjoining establishment. evidently ac-
customed to the common demand for sol d
liquids. offers its customers soft drinks.
At a well-known establishment near l4th
and F streets a sign board has on it:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
The Sign Painters Ruse-

In the same locality a local sign-board
painter has novel way of advertising his
business He places a large board outside
his establishment with the following in
seription in chalk: This sign will be
painted tomorrow-but you can get any
sign you want painted today"
Near by an illustrated notice board con-
tains the following:
The Three Disgraces.
The Underpaid Letter Carrier,
The Overworked Firemen
The 2-Platoon Policeman
Many business men have a card nrornf
nently placed in front of their desks with
the following peremptory mandate: DO 1t
AS II to counteract this, a popular adyer-
tiser spreads broadcast the following sage
warning: Don't overdo things; keep some
OF the pleasure for tomorrow and the next
day."
The same reflective advertiser philosophf-
caiiy requires you to ASK yourself tonight
II you are ashamed Of anything you did to-
day. ~ ~
An unsophisticated stranger, strollins
along and coming across a cluster of small
notice boards fixed in coy rural roadside
corner or city lot, might excusa bly, imagine
that the days of slavery We're still in vogue
IN the locality. The advertisements are as
follows: wv
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
The Nations in Literature.
From the London Globe.

In the year 1902 Germany published OF
books and pamphlets nearly 1900. and the
United States only about third as many.
On the other hand, the United States pub
lished u 600 newspapers and periodicals.
and Germany only little more than
third as many. In the creative works,
novels, romances and works of pure imag-
nation, England leads the world: Germany
is ahead In educational and theological
works and books for the young. France
runs cepiously to history. and Italy to re-
ligion. Fiction mainly rules In the United
States.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
Young Fashionable Englishmen.

Max Beerbohm in the London Saturday Review.
OF all the stock figures In musical comedy
none is so startling and mysterious as the
young man of fashion Our wonder at him
is never blunted- Yet he is always the
same Always he wears the same vacuous
face, into which monocie is screwed. AL
ways he utters with the same drawl the
same jargon. Always he has no occupa-
ton, except the passive one of being at
tended by the same. or rather by similar.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29

Miss Pechis," said the normal school
teacher "can you tell us what is meant by
an 'oscillating movement"
sit Is" replied the fair young girl. dream
lily, 1.-The movement of two pairs of lips into
close conjunction. '-Philadelphia Press.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
DIR. GAR RA-

The Well-known German Specialist,
3i7 9TH ST. NV.
10 years permanently located in Washington city.
His success in treating old and socalled incurable
Is acknowledged by the public and profession.
See testimonials at his office.
RUPTURE permanently cured without pain or
loss of time. X-RAY for examination diagnosis
and treatment. CURES cancer, impotency, stric-
ture, varicocele, hydrocele, skin. blood poison.
syphilis and private diseases quickly for lifetime.
de11-tf Consultation free.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
The Fifteen-Cent Lodper.

Washington affords habitation of great
variety to the stranger. The pauper-aris-
tocrat, wishing to locate himself where ne
can boast of snowy address at an eco
nomical price. finds spacious hotel on the
avenue where he can have apartments at
15c. night"
In another street is lodging house which
caters for low-priced men, The guest Will
De taken in at fixed value, judging from
the invitation. which says: 1.-The Old Home-
Stead-Lodging for 15c. Men,
A notice of national interest is TO he seen
on the avenue. It's Interpretation is decid-
eoiy problematic, and being in front of a
large store adds to it's vagueness 1t is as
moilows: George Drakin's Factory Filled
England
1t would be interesting to know the ca
paclty OF the front seat at a certain
Methodist Episcopal church. A notice
board, conspicuously placed outside this
eolhce, contains the following invitation:
fiease take front seat. We make no
other engagements for Wednesday even
fngs."
To those who have been accustomed to
assoclating the word "magnum'' with cham
payne the following announcement, appear
ing among many others, would Immediate
~ create an imaginary thirst: Hoffman
House Magnums. 15c. each'
II would lr@erest the collector of EASTERN
relics to know that in a small store on 14th
street he could purchase Egyptian Chiefs.
for &C."
In the outskirts a Mr. johnson informs
the public that he is Going out to do
embarrassing done here
On u street is affixed on the wall of
small dry goods store the following am
blguouS announcement:
Rubber, Collars and Cuffs
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
FARMS.

For SAIE-FARM, AT A GREAT SACRIFICE;
100 acres slx miles from the White House. i'm
proved by dwelling and barn. Price 81 600 to
quick purchaser: the wood the place Is worth
the money ask4A Apply EDy. l.. sCHw ARTZ.
GA + NV. fa2S-3t
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
DENTISTRY.

TEETH WITHOUT. PLATES; NO EXTRACTING;
no pain; feel, act and last longer than natural
teeth Shrunken faces made normal Painless
flllng. Dr. J. L. WILSON. 1908 Ut. NV.
Jazz 2Sts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
DIR. WRIGHT. SPECIALIST,

BI7 18th st. NV, bet. T and q.
Successful treatment of diseases pronounced In
durable and of obscure nature. Lung. throat. ca
tarrhal diseases treated by new method. Medicine
furnished. Consultation free. Hours s am. to
Pm; Sundays to l. Phone N. S5S-F, day or night.
ia2Qtf7
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
FRIED. SHOES.

A popular cafe in 18th street invites it's
customers daily to partake Of Live broiled
Holsters"
Walking down the east side of 18th street
the pedestrian will often see turtle ex-
posed outside cafe with a notice stuck
IN It's back, containing the following words:
day."
ObIivious to the dread of the fair sex for
wild beasts the proprietor of an eating
mouse not far from the city hall audacious-
~ exhibits the following notice board:
T1ger Cafe-Ladies' Room Upstairs,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
MEDICAL.
DIR. YOUNG, f i 81: I

Regular Graduate Two Schools.
Authorized to treat Diseases Of the Brain and
Nervous System, Skin, Blood, Heart, Stomach, Liv-
or, Kidneys. Bladder, Nose, Throat and Lnngs.
Structure. Varicocele and Hydrocele cured without
cutting operation. No pain. No loss of time.
Blood Diseases and Disorders of the Urinary Organs
promptly relieved and permanently cured by safe
methods. Vitality restored. Charges low. Free
consultation in person or by letter. Hours, 10 to
and to 6; Sunday, 10 to 1; Wednesday and Sat
urday evenings, 7 to g.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
FOR SALE-LOTS.

FOR SALE
Buy before mot after the construction of the
$lUo.ooO Connecticut bridge II you wish
receive the great Increase to realty values that
Is sure to follow at Connecticut Avenue High
lands by the construction of this bridge. The
government In DOW advertising for bids for its
immediate construction. For full particulars drop
postal. telephone or call for new handsomely H.
lustrated booklet. plat. etc, of Connecticut Ave-
me Highlands. few lots viii he sold for $500
to 500 cash and $50 to SIS monthly. Automobile
free to the property
FULTON X. GORDON
6l3 l4th st. w.
ja29-iJt Telephone Main 500
FOR SAIE-ECKINGT0N-2 CORNERS AND IN
SIDE LOT NEXT TO sIRoAD: LOTS Is. l6
AND II, IN BLOCK D. NEAR $1,000 FIT; ABOUT
go Eft. FRONTAGE; FOR 3-5 PRICE OF LIKE
LOTS NEXT SOUTH.
J. b. wIsiEas REAL ESTATE. 1901 ST.
1s27-st
FOR SALE--A VERY DESIRABLE BUILDING
site Mass. near I'D st. NV: size 2Shx
100. Fine site for handsome residence.
EDWARDS REEVES. Inc.
de19tf 01A 18th nv.
Fol. SALE-LOTs LOTS. LOTS.
IN ALI. SECTIONS
YOU'LL SAVE TINE AND MONEY
BY GETTING OUR LIST.
IN THE FASHIONABLE SECTIONS
on COLUMBIA AND WASHINGTON HEIGHT&
STONE K FAIRFAX. 500 and sos e st. NV.
my17-n
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
GEORGETOWN REAL ESTATE.
Looking for a Home?

There's price advantage as well as other
advantages 10 be gained by buying home in
Georgetown We've number of desirable
homes to offer and confident
meet all your requirements
liz Niiii~i OioNhinNSA Qnc3.
1928 1925 a21 st. Phone West 4o
jas led
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29

DO NOT TAKE MUSIC, BUT STUDY MUSIC
with Nine. ]. ESPUTA DAILY. Rudiments Voice
and Piano. Studio 112s st. Me-; phone East
30 a. Ia SIT
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29
w. T. Raldms. MID. Ph.D.,

Specialist in all Chronic Nervous and Special
Diseases. CONSULTATION fee Phone East BIN.
s. e. cor 9Th and NV. Hours. 10 to l, 4 to o.
Je4-52tH.5
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-01-29

New York city is described as extending
about two miles on the East and Hudson
rivers in circumference four miles,
want of good water is noted, the prin-
cipal supply being from a twenty-foot we'll
Albany is described as the most promising
city in the country. Annapolis Is referred to
as the wealthiest town Of its size in Ameri-
ca, the number Of inhabitants less than two
thousand. Baltimore as the most rapid
growing town on the continent. formerly
unhealthy. but the increase of houses with
smoke carrying Off the vapors had made 1t
tolerably healthy. In 1892 there were 2, 800
houses in the city.
Washington and Georgetown come under
the head of Maryland and the territory is
said to have been not exceeded in point of
convenience. salubrity and beauty In Ameri-
ca. Georgetown is referred to as being ex-
ceedingly healthy. Some space is given to
the medicinal springs of Virginia.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1904-11-11

THE BUCKEYE Grain and Fertilizer Drills have met with
great SUCCESS. 1t machine for farmer. SPklNG-
TOOTH HARhUWS, Dist hARkOWS IMPERIAL Flows
aud repairs Tor all farm machinery.
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1904-11-11

West Washington -. G..
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1904-11-11
G. W. OFFUTT j. CLINTON TRIBBY.
SUBSTANTIAL SAVINGS
In Diamonds, Watches, JeweIry SiIVerWarc Clocks.
4

IN Diamonds, watches, JeWeIry SilVerWa Clocks
IT'S MORE THAN CAR FARE that by buying here in West End
soc-hing demands Good
to
easily proved by CoMPA RlSoNS, which always
DIAMONDS excellence Rings,
NJ he
WATCHES meeces Cold Cases. that
be relied lou unvai wing preidon
In SILL ERW ARE both Plated
Tableware,
Dantest French
wRltOr good solid service and
We know we can WE'LL We know We
First Call when Jewelry Buying,
WATCHES IN GOLD AND SILvERLades
$40 Men solid karat gold watches Solid
ed % vi solid silver gs1InsI Watches warranted -
THE LIk ELadies solid gold
gold
Ladies solid gold rings Solid diamond
$40
beautifully
aknds $
in
SOLID SLVERJEWELRY AND
lets u uPj Solid silver Ong Solid
solid SILVER teaspoons half dozen 50 Solid silver
sU up sT FORKS na dozen IN sell ~ up Solid silver ladies' extra heavy
ROGERS BEST VENTILATED teaspoons
81 O tablespoons hall
p AZ soup ladies % 90 eku 81 25i beautiful 81
CLOCKS THAT We WARRANT-s5c with
movements "aTed6oc beautiful ename hI hour
u ~ hAndmes OF ladies' dressing exhibited " wash
81
Gail and complicated Esdo
oFFUrT q, TEtIBBY.
" Fronts
ll-oc West Washington &
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1904-11-11
FERTTLIZERS:
TIMOTHY SEED.

full car load of new Western TIMOTHY SEED has JUS
GRASS
Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1904-11-11

only shou
of
Of
W. B. MARTIN,
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
"Watch Us Grow"

This is the motto Of the Methcdiss
Sunday schoo, at the present time.
An Increase of IS per cent in two
weeks 10 an incident in the ssnday
school revival now In progress in the
Aeshod,ss Sunday school.
The school has been divided into
tow camps. known ~ the Reds" and
the "Blues." A captain and ten
lisutenAnts have been chosen for each
side The .biect is 70 see which side
eau secure the larger number OF new
scholars. The growth 10 expected
from outside and not from other
schools. and the pupils have bsen eau.
toned over aud over in this matter.
1t ifexpected that much good will
result from this growth Of the school.
In connection with tine special revival
meetings soon to begin in the chui I.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07

Of the 6nest hotels in the state Rooms SUITE baths
heat electric bes and all modern convenience Service and cuisine
unexceed Transient $250 and $500 day. Weekly and
monthly that money
costing you. h L. RICE Prop.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
Cheap Rates Again via U. p.

One way second class colonist tick.
cts at the following low rates will be
on sale daily from March l to April
30. inclusive. via u. p. r. R.:
To San FrAncisco. Los Angeles.
San Diego. and many other Califor-
mia points $25. 90.
To Everett, whatcom, Vancouver
aud Victoria. via Huntington and
Spokane. s25
To Tacoma, aud Seattle, via Hunt
ington and Portland. or via Hunting.
ton and Spokane. $25.
To Portland and to Astoria. Ash.
land, Roseburg. Eugene. Albany and
Salem, including branch lines in
Oregon. via Portland. t25.
To Spokane, all intermediate. main
and branch lines on o. r. & N. Co.
also to Wepatchee and interme d ate
points. $22 90.
To Butte, Anaconda. Helena and
all intermediate main line point,
$50 90.
Very liberal stop overs allowed il
Nevada, California and at points wes
Of Pocatello, Idaho.
For full information call on youI
local agent, or address
E. X. GRIFFIN.
Gen'l Agent. U. p. r. r..
914l 7th st., Denver.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
Dissolution of Partnership.

The firm of Lewis and Yost has
this day been dissolved by mutual
agreement, Lewis iost reiripg. NJ.
f. Lewis will continue business al
the old stand. and will assume all
debts against the firm. Those indebt.
ed to the above firm can pay the same
to either NJ. E. Lewis or Lewis Yost.
NJ E LEWIS,
55-64 LEWIS YOST.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
When You Have 4 Cold.

The first action when you have .
cold should be to relieve the lungs
This is best accomplished by the free
use Of Chamberlx,n's Cough Remedy
This remedy liquefies the tougI
mucus aud causes its expulsion from
the air cells of the lungs. produces .
free expectorAtion. and opens the So
cretions. A complete cure soon fol
lows. This remedy will cure .
severe cold in less time than any other
treatment and il leaves the system IL
a natural and healthy condition. Il
counteracts any tendency toward pneu
monia. For sale by all druggists.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
Perfect Confidence. .

Where there used to be feeling of
uneasiness and worry in the household
when child showed symptoms Of
Group. there is now perfect confidence.
This is owing to the uniform success
Of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy in
the treatment Of that disease. Mrs.
NJ. I. Basford. Of Poolesville. Md.
in speaking Of her experience in the
use Of that remedy says: II have
world of confidence in Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy for have used
it with perfect success. My child
Garland Is subject to severe attacks
Of Group .ans it always gives him
prompt relief." For sale by all
druggists.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07

81 have been troubled for some
time with indigestion and sour
stomach" days Mrs. Sarah W. Curtis,
of Lee, Mass, "and have been taking
Ohamberain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets which have helped me very
much so that now can eat many
things that before l could not II
you have any trouble with your
stomach why not take these Tablets
and get well2 For sale by all drug
gists.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
No play that has been written il

No play that has been written In
years has aroused sch widespread
dicussion rs David Belasco's power.
full drama "Zaza" in which that
magnetic actress Florence Roberts will
appear at the Canon City opera house
on Msr,h 8 and despite the cries OF
the narrow mindsd. few as to the
moral calibre Of the story the theatres
have been packed everywhere and the
verdict of the public has been that
Zaza is good play with strong
heart interest. conveying more
powerful and imp essive lesson than
any drama that has ever been pro.
duced on the American stage As q
production Zaza fs more attractive
than the average play the green-room
scene where the secrets of the drama
fists art, and the stage managers
tricks and devices for producing
various stage effects, are shown, being
particularly interesting to the general
public. Miss Roberts has achieved q
triumph as the unfortunate girl who
becomes Parisienne fsvorite. and
her performance has classed her one
of the greatest exponents of emotion.
al drama in this country.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
The Cardinal Dinere.ce.

In an aashorised interview seit
out fiom washinstun. Count Csssiui
the Russian Ambassador. FRANKLY
admits that the attitude Of the gov
ernment Of the United ssat~s hss been
absolutely corrscs. aud he expressed
she belief that il would continue TO be
30 throughout the war. But he de-
precsted tie existing misupderstand-
ings. which he attributed 10 the
American press. and he had oflicially
called upon Secretary Hay "in the
hope that out Of frank discussiou some
means might be evolved for checking
the hostility each people now feels for
the other Count Caasiui evidently
fails to appreciate the fact that the
press of the United States reflects the
opinions and the feelings of the Unit
ed States, while she pres OF Russia
reflects the opinions aud the feelings
of the ozar-and therein 10 the cardi-
nal difference between the two govern
ments
II the cases were reversed an aud
American ambassador had called upon
the czar as Count CAssini called upon
Secretary Hay. it 10 undoubted that
If the czsr were 80 inclined. he could
procure an imperial rescript addressed
to the newspapers Of the empire
directing them to assume and to main
tain another tone. But no su,h pro.
cedure obtains in the United States.
The frankness Of Count Cassini in
admitting that Russians held opinions
hostile to Americans is refreshing.
Posi- .ly il he is IN dead earnest in
desiring = cessation Of that hostility
he might begin at home. for, as the
attitude of the government OF the
United States toward Russia has been
absolutely correct. his talks Of muz
zling the American press may be
given up by him rs hopeless.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
Now Is the Time.

To visit Hot Springs, Arkansas via the
Missouri Pacific Iron Mountain route.
The season At the great National
health and pleasure resort is now in
full blast. Climate unsurpassed
Handsome descriptive literature can
be obtained free by calling on or I'd.
dressing
II B. KOOSER,
Gen. Western Freight and Passgr.
Agt, 1900 Stout street, Denver Colo.
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
The Bostonians.

If you take in the Woodmen excur.
sion to Pueblo on Thursday evening,
March 18th. you will have al oppor-
tunity to see the Bostonians at the
Grand opera house. SO
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07
Florence & Cripple
Creek Railroad, and
Associate Companies.

To the Cripple Greek District.
Through Gigantic and Marvellous
Canons and over Magnificent
Mountain Passes
The daily tribune., 1904-03-07

Why pay 55c and Csc for Linoleun
when we sell it for Sac?
5 7. Carmody.
The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1904-03-04
Another Old Soldier Gone.

Alexander Miller, for many years
one of the prosperous farmers of
Macarthur township, died at the home
of his daughter. Mrs. Royal Peters
at Zanesfield, at FIVE o'clock, Tuesday
morning. He and his brother Mitch
Miller, who passed on before, couple
of years since, were amongst the best
and most widely known men in the
western part of the county. Aleck,
as he was called was an old companion
in arms, and belonged to the same
company in the Second Ohio, with
Ex-Treasurer, Charles L Rogers, de-
ceased. During the Tullahoma cam
paign, Mr.. Rogers, Mr.. Miller, and a
brother of Warren Cushmanr were
sitting on the ground watching a
rebel battery, when a shell struck
amongst them killing Mr. Cushman,
and knocking one of Mr.. Miller's
eyes out, and making terrible wound
in his face from which he never fully
recovered. Jack Reames, Al Inskeep
Alex Miller, three old, wounded sol
diers have passed away in the east
end of the county in the past three
weeks, and all in scope of about
five or six miles.
The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1904-03-04

Wednesday night big wind. thun-
der and rain storm struck the county
the worst We have had for 4 long time.
Old Winter seemed to be dying hard.
Over two inches OF rain fell, the
little streams became big streams,
and the big ones, torrents.
Part of the T. & o. C. in Marmon
Valley, was washed out, and a land
slide in the hills, between here and
ZanesHeld blocked that section of the
road.
A section of the Big Four on one
of the curves between DeGraff and
Quincy was washed and trains delay
ed some time.
The house of Charles Smith. at the
corner of Detroit and Carter streets,
was struck, and the roof and plaster
ing damaged. Mrs. Smith and her
four children were badly frightened
but no one was hurt.
The Big Four depot at Quincy wa'
set on fire by a stroke of lightning
bpt the fire was put out before muci
da mage was done.
Druggist Valentine, of Bellecenter
sa VS. the Miami was out of its bank
yesterday morning and came up il
lt he town farther than he ever knev
1t before.
Lightning struck corncrib at Johl
Ma.ers' home.
The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1904-03-04
Tho Sick,

Assistant Cashier Elmer Gebby. of
the Peoples National Bank, Is con-
fined to his home by An attack of
tonsilitis.
Drs. J. p. Harbert and ]. 81. Wilson
operated on Gail II hamilton yesterday
morning, taking a small bone from
the stump of the limb which was am
putated last summer when he was
run over by a Big Four train.
Frank Moots has been confined to
his home, on South Main street, by
gathering in one of bis ears, which
has caused:him excruciating pain
N. III. jackson is of duty at the
Peoples National Bank as a result of
an attack of grip.
Mrs. Alh>rt Wallace, who has been
i'll of tonsilitis, is reported to be
gradually getting better.
Conductor L. S. Nelson is confined
to his home by grip.
James Cooke, who has spent the
winter in FL Paso, Texas, Ia not i'm
proving, and his brothers Charles
and o. L d. win 60 to FL Paso and
accompany him and their mother
home to Bellefontaine.
Washington Mays Is Ill or grip, and
pneumonia has developed within the
past three days. He is very SICK
man.
Miss Mabel Whitehill is suffering
from an attack of grip.
Judge VIM. ii. West has been quite
sick for the past week but Is better
at present writing.