Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1904-11-28
HUSBANDS GUIDE.
How to Manage the Most Fascinating
of Domestic Pets.

/
of Domestic Pets.
Marriage license clerks should pre-
pare for the rush, for the chief mar
rage handicap has been removed.
AS soon as sufficient time has elapsed
for the study of book just published
in London called wives and How to
Manage Them they may expect tidal
wave of young men with the license
fee and the courage of their convic-
tions.
The author hides his fame under the
name of Zone Who Knows" but that
will not prevent him receiving a monu-
ment from the male portion of the
English speaking race after he has
been lynched by their better halves.
He starts off by drawing attention
to the fact that there are numerous
handbool1s published which deal with
tile management of the horse, the dog,
the canary, and other domestic ami
mails, and yet there is no good and
useful text book upon the Choice and
Management of the Wife, who is by
far the most important, most expen-
sive, and most universal of the domes-
tbs PETS
The course of management must be-
gin with the honeymoon, and the great
thing the husband has to beware is al
! lowing his wife to think for herself.
| If you speak a foreign language and
she does not. spend your honeymoon
ir that country then you must do the
| thinking for both. eff you do not
your wife may begin to think for you.
To allow this is the most fatal error
| you can possibly commit, it is habit
you may find it difficult to break her
Of AFTERWARDS. Let her talk-that does
no manner of harm and comes to most
women much more easily than think
ing-but, if possible, prevent her from
| thinking at all; in a wife it is a. most
pernicious habit, only one degree less
terrible than that of reasoning, which
is deadly sin. If once your wife be-
gins to reason about things in general,
and contracts the habit, before long
she is sure to reason about you. Now
you know quite well that you Will not
bear reasoning about.
One of the few things for which a
man may be naturally thankful is
woman's changeability. Some un-
thinking male creatures have re-
preached women for this chan eabil
! ity they do not realize that no sane
man would care to eat boiled mutton
at every meal, year in and year out"
He strongly advises moderation in
| the management of wife by means
of violence, and cites good reason
! from the police court. ''The magis
/ trate asked the wife: And YOU mean
to say that miserable wretch of man
gave you a black eye? 'Lor, sir,
she answered, he wasn't miserable
wreck afore he struck me- The
argument is convincing.
One thing you must do in manag-
ing wife is to insist on her doing as
you say, and then shutting your eyes,
SO that you may not see when she
| does the opposite. So, and only So
can you manage her with happiness
! for both.
| This needs the cooperation Of the
wife, however, and the power to tell
a good, convincing lie.
The final advise is BE careful,
whatever you do, to keep up your sub
scription to your club. A mans
house is his castle; but married
mans castle is his club"
Here is a sop of consolation: After
all, marriage has it's consultations
| long as your wife lives you cannot
marry and other woman. You know
the worst