The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-10-06

II was Out Pushing Lawn MOVER
and You were Believing the Grass. "
con the same evening and at the
same hour" continued Mrs Perkins.
II also spoke of garden hose l said
that we needed fifty feet very badly
with which to water the grass and
keep down the dust in the street; you
had promised for years, but yet we
had no hose. 1 called your attention
to the fact that one could look out on
any summer evening and see the
water squirting in every direction
while il must seem to the nelghborS
that we were too poverty-stricken TO
buy anything. You remember, do
"I certainly do. my dear. Yes, it
was on the same evening, and nave
no doubt / shall find it in my diary
as an addendum. Continue, Mrs. Per-
kins; the conversation becomes inter-
Have We a lawn mower?" she
asked, with a touch of vinegar in her
tones
Il cannot say we have"
Have we fifty feet or any other
length of garden hose? ?"
mot hardly"
LAS we sit here, Mr.. Perkins, the
whirr and buzz of the lawn mower is
resounding from half dozen different
directions. and hose after hose is
squirting water around and laying the
dust and cooling the grass Here
alone there is no mower-no squirting
Even the trampS passing by must
wonder at it What do you think my
feelings are2 How do you imagine
I am going to hold up my head among
well-off people? It's shame and
disgrace to put me in such a position,
and 1 do not feel like showing my
head outdoors for the rest of the sum-
mer."
MY dear woman said Mr.. Perkins
as he hitched around uneasily on his
chair, II think 1 see the situation, but
1 also think it is susceptible of eX-
v,1an Soc
II knew you would have a lot of
excuses"
please wait. I never have excuses.
Now and then 1 bring philosophy to
bear. but 1 never excuse. On the night
of January Sth-the fatal night referred
to-We had a foot of snow on the
ground and more coming. as remem-
ber From January to May is four
months. Is there a husband in Ameri-
ca who wouldn't have made the same
promise under the circumstances? Mid
wfnter-snow on the ground-more COM
ing-the need of a lawn mower four
months away the chances that our
house might burn down or that it
would be a poor season for grasS-why,
of course, 1 promised. Yes. dear, l sat
with my feet on the coal stove and the
shivers running up and down my back
and declared that the song of the now
er should be heard around here when
May put forth her blossoms again. I
urge no excuses 1 simply say that it
is good philosophy for any husband to
make January promises IOT july OAR
gains. 1t soothes and condoles and
brings about certain domestic seren-
ity that we all sigh for.
Just as expected, sighed Mrs
Perkins as her eyes began to mOiSten.
And as to the garden hose" con-
tinued Mr.. Perkins, that promise was
made on the same winters night, but
half an hour later There was more
snow on the ground and less fire in the
house. When you spoke of May and
garden hose the two seemed as far off
and impossible as Tibet. could not re-
alize that the robins would ever come
or the grass grow again. l would have
promised you Il thousand feet of hose
mad you asked for it. When 1 sat there
that evening. my dear, knowing that
the thermometer was nearly at zero,
and that it would take all of next day
to clear the sidewalks of snow; when
I heard the gale bowling and the frozen
snow pattering; when 1 knew that we
had less than half a ton of coal in the
cellar. made many promises with the
utmost alacrity-of course did"
And you never pretended to carry
them out
gently, my dear What we intend
to do in January is a different thing
from what we may do in June or July.
Whether I intended to or not, the fact
remains the same that at the present
moment we are neither pushing a lawn
mower nor squirting a hose We will
ask ourselves why?'
because we haven't got 'em." she
snapped
And why haven't we got EN-? You
see the question has ramifcations.
When May arrived at last I had
thoughts of a lawn mower. l even
looked at several sorts and made in
quiries as to internal arrangements.
Had our grass evinced healthy
growth there is no doubt that I should
have managed about a lawn mower.
But the. grass didn't 1t hasn't up to
date. It's long, mad struggle with the
long hard winter seems to have curb
ed and crushed its ambition. You may
have noticed that it has lost its vivid
color and that hundreds of plantains
and weeds have crept in to give it their
company. I might get out and push
and drag a mower over it, but it
would be a farce. Even if we had
mower it would be resting in the
woodshed at this moment
well, it's no use to talk about it
any more. If the grass had been two
feet high and as green as paint you'd
have had some excuse"
''In that case, Mrs Perkins, should