The San Francisco call., 1904-02-07
AT-FBONIE VERSUS AT HOMES. ,
By ADYc ca

N 90 somewhere L don't want 70 go, 70
saw something 1 don't want 70 say 20
Yonoe one who doesn't want to hear II :
and II is not a bad definition or the
male attitude toward these pOpuldI
functions. where the wise man usually
proves his wisdom by his conspicuous
absence. The larger and oroader pos
Gibifties Of life to man make him rar
r,ore innpatfent Of boredom than Is
woman. She, poor soul, Is so accus-
TONED to being bored that, so long as
she Is bored in company ana IN heI
best clothes she Is hardly aware OF the
fact She has nothing better to DO
sba Il pIeasantly conspicuous that she
Is being seen in the right house, IN
the right frock, among the right people.
and even II she does become aware OF
the fact that the whole entertainment
Is as dull as ditch water, she looks upon
N as part Of the daily social round-
But the healthier minded animal-nan.
wisely looks upon all boredom as waste,
which IL Is; for one need not be bored
unless one chooses to go where bore
dom broods and yawns. Nowhere does
that fell shape preside more palpaoiy
than at "at homes" and wise Is man
In his generation for eschewing them
A Striking Contrast.
Such are the. abomipations Of the
miscaIIed and gregarious "at homes;
ciety Of their kind when well chosen
there are other houses, few IL Is true,
but all the more precious therefore,
where the hostess Is really at home,
and makes her circle Of friends ana
worshipers feel at home also A house
where there Is appreciation OF every
thing, but most Of all Of conversation,
OF that bright attack and riposts
which Is almost lost art among the
"rabble rout" OF the formal at home.
A house where selection Of the httese
Is carried out with Darwtnian force,
and where one does not go TO air ones
best frocks. or the latest thing In
waistcoats, but ones best brains, Sc
cure Of finding recognition. and thAS
atmosphere Of comprehendtng sympa-
thy which Is like a forcing house Tor
the wits A house where every one Is
"gey quick at the uptake, where tne
serious questions Of the day are as
clearly handled as the criticisms on the
latest play, poem or picture, where
things more than people are the sub
1ects OF conversation: where men gain
inspiration from the sparkle and poetic
suggestiveness Of women, and women
gain strength and lucidity from the
logic OF men.
The foreign habit Of certain intelli-
gent hostesses who let their intimates
know that they are to be found at
home on one particular evening IN the
week Is an admirable one for forming
a nucleus OF intelligence such as :
have described. There Is no formal re-
ception; a general feeling OF interest
envelops the guests as they drop in,
certain Of meeting intelligent PERSONAL
ties, OF hearing the latest news. fiter-
ary, political, artistic, or general dis
cussed with point and freedom, and
perhaps some music from those who
Will only give their best amid certain
surroundings, Just as some orchids give
or withhold their perfume as best
pIeases them. An informal weekly sa-
lon OF this kind is one OF the most
charming social institutions inagin-
able Fortnightly gatherings are not
the same thing, and many subjects or
interest and amusement are stale IN a
fortnight; and monthly ones become at
once formal matters OF invitation. and
lose the elemental charm Of the weekly
causerie Such gatherings are not IN
any way to be confused with the or
dinary afternoon ''at home" day, to
which the worlds wife and daughters
are free TO go. The evening weekly re-
union should be strictly selected. foI
all its essence and charm is the CANA
raderie Of intelligence and intimacy, q
meeting ground for equal brains; ana
even a few Of the colossal bores who
bother one and frequent ths ordinary
cat homes" would be sufficient to spou
and upset the whole atmosphere. Per-
haps II q few hostesses tried what
could be done on these lines the ex-
preston "at homes" would lose its ter
'rors, and something Of the glamour and
charm OF the famous salons Of bygone
days might yet be revived IN the real
''at home"