The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1904-04-10
The Wise Men Of Gotham;
WHO and What They Were
By s. BARING-GOUID


project for extracting sunbeams out of
cucumbers, which were to be put in Walls
and hermeticallly sealed and let out TO
warm the air in raw Indictment summers.
He told me he did not doubt that in eight
years more he would be able to supply the
Governors garden with sunshine at a
reasonable rate.
II saw another at work to calcine ice
into gunpowder. who likewise showed me
treatise he had written on the malleabil-
ity of fire. which he intended to publish.
There was a most ingenious architect,
who had contrived a new method of build
ing houses by beginning at the roof and
working downwards to the foundation.
Then was a man born blind, who had
several apprentices in his own condition
their employment was to mix colors for
painters, which their master taught them
TO distinguish by feeling and smelling. This
artist Is much encouraged and esteemed
by the whole fraternity
In another apartment l was highly
pleased with protector, who had found a
to save the charges of plows, cattle and
labor. The method this: In acre
OF ground you bury at six inches distance
and eight deep a quantity of acorns. Then
you drive six hundred of these animals
into the field. when in few days they will
root up the whole ground in search of their
food. and make it nit for sowing.
Il went into another room where the
walls and ceiling were hung round with
cobwebs. The protector here lamented the
fatal mistake the world had been so long
plenty of domestic insects who infinitely
excelled the former, because they under
stood how TO weave as we'll as spin.
There was an astronomer who had I'M
dertaken TO place Sundial upon the great
weathercock on the townhouse, by adjust
ing the annual and diurnal motions of the
earth and sun, so as to answer and coin
eide with all accidental turnings of the
wind"
But. the story of the Wise Men of Goth
am does not pertain to Gotham alone, or
only only to England 1t is found elsewhere.
fools, and their philosopher, Heirocles,
wrote collection of amusing stories max
ing fun of pedants and telling tales that
who was nearly drowned and vowed he
would not go near the water again till he
had learned to swim; and of another, who,
desiring to sell his house. carried about a
brick from 1T in his pocket a specimen
of what his house was
The French regard the Gascons as both
fools and braggarts,. and have many tales
about the Swabians. But the nearest ap-
proach To the story of the Wise Men of
Gotham is that told of the Schildburger.
The men of Schildburg were so wise that
they were in demand throughout Europe
to act as ministers TO the kings and princes
and to occupy all government offices. This
led to only women being left at home, and
these wrote petition TO their husbands to
return and then persuaded them to cult
vate their own fields and town politics
and not go forth to direct the affairs of
great states.
This they agreed to do; and having re-
solved that they must have a town hall,
in order to build 1t they went to a hill TO
cut down timber. AS a good many logs
rolled to the bottom, they went down and
rolled them up again. so that all the felled
trees might roll together down.
They built their town hall. but when it
was complete found that it was so dark in
side that they could not read their protocols
and minutes. So they met in consultation
and resolved that as the roof excluded the
light they must take it off again.
This they did. but the winter rains came
on and they were fam to replace the roof.
They again consulted and determined to
catch sunbeams and force them into the
council house. Some attempted to do this
by holding bushels or sacks in the sun,
and then running into the hall and empty
ing them there, whilst others again set
mouse traps wherewith to catch the beams,
and others again attempted to shovel the
daylight in.
A traveller passing through suggested
windows. Accordingly they set TO work
to knock holes through the walls, and as
each member of the town-council would
require light, each was furnished with a
window.
As the town hall proved cold. the Schild-
burgers passed resolution men, con. to
have a large stove. This was procured
but as it would take too much room within
il was erected outside, and a trapper was
employed to set his nets before the stove
deliver IL to the city council within.
On account of the wars. salt proved a
scarce and expensive commodity, the
town council ordered that a field should
be sown with salt that they might have a
crop next year. In spring All that sprang up
was sting nettles; and deputation from the
corporation went TO see the crop and report
on it. They tasted the herbs and stung
their lips and tongues. and returned to an
nounce that the crop was one of extraordi-
nary strength and excellent quality.
As n o1t- nofS Col ~ 1.tarcr he -.,,-
announced his intention of paying the
place a visit. A most loyal welcome was
drawn up. in rhyme, which the mayor was
But when the King arrived and the cor
poration in their robes went forth to re-
ceive him. the mayor deemed il his duty
hands for applause, he held his hat in
his mouth.
The King said:
You schildburgers. as through your
The mayor ought to have responded in
rhyme. but could not as his mouth was
full of the rim of his hat. but a chimney
Your Majesty. the mayors an ass, an
ass" and all the councillors and the mayor
himself applauded. some shouting Hear.
Heart and others clapping their hands.
The Sovereign was so satisfied that the
SchildburgerS were all fools that he ex-
empted them from paying all dues and
taxes.
The German story is much fuller than
that OF the Men OF Gotham. but il is OBJ
vious that both derive from a common
original. But why the credit of being
shrewd fools should have adhered to one
little place In Nottinghamshire must re-
main puzzle. That the Gotham folk are
shrewd fools is jest never forgotten i'm
the neighborhood. The other day a man
was riding into Nottingham on a saddle
but without stirrups.
"Halloo." said a farmer. who encoun-
tered him. Saddle and no stirrupsi YOU
must be a Gotham man."
That's just where I've come FROM" was
the rejoinder. and / have come to show
you that we -Gothamites can do without
things that the fools outside regard as
necessaries.'
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