Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1904-09-28
THIRST At PORT ARTHUR
Local Russian de Growers Dis.
tressed Over Capture Of Kuro.
patkin and Handemoutski.

whence come these shrieks so wild and
shrill
That cut like blades of steel the air,
Causing the listeners heart to thrill
With the wild cadence OF despair?
Again they come, as il a heart
Were cut in twain by one quick blow,
And every string had voice apart
To utter its peculiar woe.'
Whence come they? Why, from the
throats OF the local Russians who feel
that life without the "vodka" bottle
is as arid as the steppes of the Don.
For many moons the Field Marshal
OF the law-enforcing department of
this city has thwarted their every At
tempt to establish safe and perma-
nent base of supplies. In vain Gen.
Whiskyservski, their renowned war
rior of old, shifted from one base to
the other. Field Marshal Oyama was
after him every time. He not only
broke up Whiskyservkki's base of
supplies, but he attacked him so fierce
ly that Whiskyservski's Immaculate
character sustained damages to the
amount of 6 ,666 roubles.
But there was still one source of Joy
to the Russians in the midst of the
gloom. Their Port Arthur, snuggled
nicely behind the sewer connections
in q local hostelry, was deemed safe
from the raging Oyama. It seemed
impossible that it could be taken. It
was felt that the high social standing
OF some of those who replenished their
courage from the stock Of liquid pulse
stirrer near said sewer connections
was one element of safety. Then it
was carefully guarded by a strict sys-
tenn of knocks, signals, passwords,
grips, signs and tokens, and vouchers,
so that it see MED impossible for any
OF Oya yama's spies to penetrate to that
mysterious place. But, alas, the best
laid plans of boozers and boozees
gang aft agley, as the immortal Scotch
bard so thruthfully said. Some time
ago, just before the street fair, if we
are not mistaken, Oyama had obtained
plans of the fortifcation and was pre-
pairing an attack. Through treachery
of some one who bears the outward
insignia of the members of the law
army but who is sympathizer of the
Russians, the plan was exposed to
and his second in com.
mand, Gen. Handemoutski. But Oya-
mas spies had detected the treachery,
and his army did not fall into the
trap. Though the attack vas not
made, the knowledge that the place
was not as impenetrable as was sup
posed rendered the base of supplies
rather insecure.
Kuropatkin and Handemoutski
hastily withdrew their supplies to
some secret place, and when the thirty
tribe of Russian de Growers tried to
penetrate beyond the sewer connec-
tions they found the line of communi-
cation broken. Kuropatkin and
HandemOutsky were accommodating
the fields for prairie chickens at the
very time when, but for Field Marshal
Oyama's harassiDg tactics, they would
have had their busiest time in Port
Arthur.
But Oyama was not satisfied with
bottling up Port Arthur. he contin-
ued his mining and sapping opera
tions. Kuropatkin and Handemoutski
could not fathom his plans until too
late. And today they are prisoners.
Hence the wall in the Russian de
Growler army tonight, and hence the
numerous and fervent cuss words that
are hurled into the circumambient at
mosphere.