davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25
ATTEMPTED SUICIDE.

Mr. w. F. Williams, an old resid ent
OF this city and a veteran railroad
man, attempted to commit suicide, at
an early hour Friday morning. at his
home on North Queen street, by cut
ting his throat with razor.
He vas found in his bed with a
frightful cash in his throat, which
partially severed the wind pipe, but
missed the cstroid artery. He was in
an unconscious condition and it was
thought, at first, that life was extinct
Medical aid was summoned AMI it
was found, that the injury was not
necessarily fatal. He Was taken to
the Kings Daughters hospital, where
Drs Hedges and Baker sewed up the
wound. and the patient is in critical
condition.
Mr. Williams is in his S3rd year,
and for some time has been subject to
frequent attacks of alteration of the
mind. and it was during one of these
that he committed the rash act. In
consequence of Mr.. Williams advanc-
ed age aud his enfeebled condition
the chances of his recovery are not
considered good. Although at this
writing he is resting easy.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25
THIS CAT WAS SKEPTIcAL.
It Refused to Believe That Desdemona
and Other Stage Characters
Were Dead.

The theater cat is always protruding
it's presence on the stage when it is least
wanted, but the feline which keeps
Chase's theater free of rats, says the Uti-
ca Observer, has a particularly erronne-
Gus idea of the eternal fitness of things.
1t was when the stock company was
playing "Othello" that the cat rendered
itself conspicuous, and therefore great
ly disliked by its friends and actors.
Desdemona was dead, and all the other
characters were dead that could con-
veniently die, and were stretched on the
stage in various post mortem attitudes
when the theater cat suddenly made
her way upon the stage.
She paused at the first PROSTATE body
she came to, and apparently said to her
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25
Alligator Farm in France.

An alligator farm, stocked with
roung animals from the United States,
Is to be established in the south Of
France Alligator skin has become so
highly priced that the animal dealers
believe it will pay we'll to raise the
alligators on this. the first farm of it's
kind In the world. The skin Is said
to be becoming scarcer each year. and
there is always great demand for it
for boots, shoes, hand bags. writing
pads, portfolios and toilet articles.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25

knows already how it all ended They
were married last week, of course.
If wealthy woman decides to mar
ry peanut vender, Kalamazoo sounds
just like the name of the town where
Cupid would turn the trick. For many
years Henry Chamberlain sold peanuts
on Kalamazoo street corner. For
many years Mrs. Julia Damon bought
peanuts of him. He is 60, and it isn't
fair to tell how old she is, but she
owns considerable real estate and has
cash and stocks worth 500, 600. No
one suspected romance in their lives.
Their wedding came about this way:
Chamberlain until recently was the
proprietor of a peanut stand on the
corner of one of the principal streets
of the city. At the last meeting of the
common council it was decided TO eject
him because he insisted he could not
pay the necessary license for his priv
ileges. 1t is thought this move ON the
part of the council caused the wedding
TO be fastened.
At any rate. they were married and
are now on their honeymoon trip.
There's something about life on
the sea that makes the sailorman jolly
and lovable, whether he is IS or 80
years old, This is true in the case Of
Henry B. Merrill. an old whaling cap
tain of Greenport, L. l. He is 80 years
old, and Two weeks ago married his
housekeeper, Mrs. Sarah j. Rogers, q
widow of 60. Capt Merrill has led
rowing, interesting life, having been
around the world three times, landed
on the eastern coast of Russia, on the
coast of Alaska. stopped six different
times at the Sandwich islands, crossed
the equator 16 times, rounded Cape
Horn four times, and helped to kill
$50 whales. He was also a forty-niner
and saw life in the California gold
fields.
There is something pathetic in the
romance of Edward O. Smith, chief
clerk of the West Shore railroad at
Weehawken, N. Y, and Carrie Reed.
They were married after a courtship
of IL years. She waited all that time
until he could provide home for her.
Their wedding day was on Tuesday
and on the following Saturday night
he was asphyxiated by gas in his room
at Union Hill. where he had gone on
business trip.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25
TURKEYS WENT ON A TOO1.
Flock of Gobblers Ate Corn Soaked
in Whisky and Became En-
tirely Too Merry.

Soldering up after bad night of It,
says the Baltimore Sun. the fine tur-
keys on the farm of Joseph Hendrix,
near Alburtis, Pa, are going around
to-day showing every indication Of hav-
ing a bad headache. Someone had
mixed whisky With t,.eir food and for
time the actions of the whole flock
we're something scandalous.
Mr.. Hendrix came to town yesterday
to make some purchases and open ne
gotiations for the sale of one of the
latest fiocks of turkeys ever raised in
this section. When he was away some
joker fed whisky soaked corn to the
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25

Literature has other drawbacks
besides return 10 tage.
The ma VINO keeps MS troubles 10
himself also keeps his friends.
No, Maude, dear, you don't have
to be inqaisitive to pump an organ.
1t doesn't make fellow feel like a
bird when his wife makes him quail.
Rev. John Reid, Jr., of Great Falls
Mott. recommended Fly's Cream
Balm to me. l can emphasize his
statement, 1t is a positive cure tor
catarrh if used as directed. Rev.
Fraacis w. Poole, Pastor Central
P .,yteriau church, Helena, Mont
hiter using Ell s Cream Balm six
w *, be ieve myself cured of ca
l. rA-Joseph Stewart Grand ave,
1ut 40, n. Y
il'- Balm DOES not irritate or cause
sn eng. Soli by druggists at so
or mailed by FL Brothers, SO
Warren ST.. New York.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25

A large barn barn belonging to
Charles w. Hal6emau. near Kerns-
stown, was burned Saturday night,
with all;its contents
TIE West Virginia State board
health will meet in Wheeling to-day.
for the purpose of exam n nglstuden s
of medicine before they are licensed
to practice. 1t is expected that there
will be about 40 to take the examlua-
ton, and that the board will be in
e sion sveral days.
No woman tells that she is grow
Ing old until she begins to forget her
b rthdavs.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25
TO SPEND WINTER lNsTHE Gun
NY SOUTH.

AS winter approaches it is noticeable
how nony people participate spending
The dresry months i'll the sunny
South ." either forsple as~Ie or hoalth
The regular winter tourist tickets are
now on sale at all stations on the Bal
timore and Ohio railroad To principal
points in Florida and the south at very
low rates.
Full information as TO time of trains
routes, stop-evers, etc, can betprocured
on application to any ticket agent Bal
timoTe and,OhiO railroad.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25

There is more Catarrh in this section
of the country than all other dis
eases put together. and until the last
few years twas supposed to be incur
able. For a great many years doctors
pro- ouuCe1 Il n local disease and pre-
scIibed local remedies, and by con-
stantly falling to cure with local treat
ment, pronounced 1t incurable. Science
has proven catarrh to be q constitu-
tional disease and therefore require
constitutional treatment. Halls ca
tarrh cure, manufactured by +.
Cheney 81 Co., Toledo, Ohio, is tn
only cons titutional cnre on the market
1t is taken internally in doses from 10
drors to teaspoonful. 1t acts directly
on The blood and mucous surface of
the system. They offer one hundred
dollars for any case it fails to cure.Send
for circulars and testimonials.
Address: F. j. Cheny & Co.. Toledo
Ohio.
Sold by Druggist 70 C.
Take Halls Family Pills for consti
patton.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25
THE CHATEAU WINE CELLAR

Ut. CIT I LAU VINE NLIt La X
OF the Speer N. J. Wine Co., at
Passaic,, N. J. is worth visiting and
worth the time for any one who are
curious to see rare old Ports, Bur
gundy and Claret. This is the Cha
teau private stock cellar, most of the
wines in the cellar are not for sale
b 1t kept for curiosity and further gen.
erations. They are supplying some
o'ders for the 22 year old Port of
which they have to spare and sell at
SIS 90 to $500 per dozen quart bot
ties.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25
Records on Queer Substances

The British museum contains rec.
ords and books written on bricks, oy-
ster shells, bones and fiat stones, and
manuscripts on bark, ivory, leather
lead, iron, copper and wood.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25
AND COVERS LIKE GOLD

WEARS AND COVERS LIKE GOLD
The L. & N, Paint, and it only re-
quires 4 gallons of L. & NJ. and three
gallons linseed oil to paint moderate
sized house
Its lead with zinc. -Chalkable.
Liberal quantity given to churcA s
when bought from. u
II. l., Doll & Co.
c. w Myers, Shenandoah juno
ton.
Martinsburg statesman. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1869-1906, 1904-11-25

Muggins-He says he hasn't
fri md in the world
Buggins Gracious! He might as
we'll be book agent.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1904-03-20
ceos Spirits

G9,I spirits don't all come from
Kentucky The ma.a source is tae
...r-anl aI ta- fine spirits ever
maG. .u taa Blue Grass state could
uJ. -.mels o. bad liver or The hundred.
aad-oue SD effects il proIu,e- You
can't have good D.rits and a bad l.y-
e- az the same time Your liver must
b- zoo fine condition 80 you would fee,
1I9yauf happy and hopeful. bright o.
eyr light of STEP vigorous ami sue.
,cs f4l iu your pursuits You can pg.
y1a- liver lu fine condition by using
Green August Flower tnc greatest
Of AL mrI...urs for the liver and stgm.
arh and "a certain cure for dyspepsia
or Indigestion. J., has been favor.
.tc household remedy for over thirty.
i've years August Flower will make
your liver healthy and active and thus
insure % liberal supply Of good splr-
r." Trial sIle 25r. regular bottles
l.. A. C. Dus Store.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1904-03-20
WHAT TIME PROVES.

Tu .us of being sick and look
ing for Dur. ia mighty serious,
business People are not given 10
Joking even ar tho first symptoms Of
th. grim destroyer They do not want
10 Dee the subjects of experiment, but
want medicine that has hal the test
OF year. behind b. a medicine that
has been made and used for twenty
years gives assurance ot lts wOrtn.
and can bee taken with faith that
they have the very best cure the
world affords All this can be said
about Or Gums Improved Liver
Pills az remedy for sick headache
dyspepsia and i'Gigestion. o. begins
right at the source of the trouble anD
removes the eau ,'. Sold by all drug
.gists for 25c per box. one pill for a
dose For .1lo by w b. Frame, drug
gist
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1904-03-20
Gives Health. Viqor and Tone.

Hcrbine is boon for sufferers from
ancamia by it's use the blood is
quickly rcgcneratcd and the color be
comes normal The dropping strength
Is revised The lanEuor is diminished.
Health yIpor and tone prodominate.
New life ana happy activity results.
Mrs Belle II Shircl Middlosborough,
lll, writes IF have been troubled with
liver complaint and poor blood, ana
have found nothing 10 benefit me
like ucrhiuc hope never 10 be with.
out &c. have wished that ! had known
lot 10 In my husbands time. soc Sold
by W B Frame
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1904-03-20

Or. J. W. SMITH,
Physician and Surgeon.
Office in German Building
ONCE phone 6-3 rings.
Residence phone IA
Office hours 10 TO l2 an. zto4D.
Special attention given TO Diseases
OF Women and Children.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1904-03-20
4 Severe Cold for Three Months.

The following letter from y j.
NusbaIm OF Bate-y.lic. Ind tell its
1Hu story. Il suffered for three
months with "a severe cold. 4 druggist
prepared me some medicine and
physician prescribed for me. yet / did
not improve 7 then tried FOleys
Honey and Tar AMI eight doses cured
me" Refuse substitutes. Bonner &
Bonner
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1904-03-20

n you intend to burn coal provide
ygur home or ofiice with a Wilson hot
D.ast coal stove Sold only by Noble
EFOE, II
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1904-03-20

LaGrippc coughs yield quickly to
the wonderful curative qualities Of
Foloy's Honey and Tar, There is moth
ing else Just as good Bonner a
Bonner
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1904-03-20

Phillie. what Is in nance"
Penn. a whole days work II YOU
are trying to pronounce those drag.
ger around by the Russians
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

His Satnnne Bent Was Bywod OD Standing

sold as Joe MiIler's. He has become
the titular head Of British humor. and
all for the lack of anything humorous
whatsoever.
The interest that attaches to the book
is of a different character Here we
may see in pleasing array, although in
an older literary form, most of those
jokes and jests which now pass as new.
The story of the hen that crossed the
road, although usually ascribed 10 this
source, is not present. but the Irishman
who boarded the Broadway car Is. only
in the old days II was a London bus
Truly there is nothing new under the
sun.
The present reprint is an interesting
one. 1t is from the original copy, with
out abridgment. and contains all thar is
known of old-time humor From its
opening page frown the features of the
imperturbable Joe, who. with funereal
aspect, seems to forbid any examine
ton of the contents whatsoever This
is. in fact, why the book is so interest
ing-and then the oddly of it gives US
hope. If the taciturn Joe could sue
coed, is there not hope for US all?"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
UNNNN~NNNNN>


of the BLACK Jack" is not written. He
is not known to have ever been aware of
the grim pleasantly Of which he was the
center. Quietly he lived all his days.
hiding himself in solitude in a corner
Of his favorite inn.
Then he died. A friend who was a
dramatist and pitied his destitute fam
lily gathered all the stray jokes then
extant and published them under the
name of Joe Miller's Jest Book" Tt
had a vogue and the necessities of his
family were relieved. So much for Joe
Miller.
But the wonder Of it is the persistency
with which this volume has held its
fame. Nearly two hundred years have
passed. and In that time It has grown
and been added unto until now every
thing humorous in the English language
can be found under the heading of this
volume. Fables, anecdotes the humor
Of the bar and the court are all now
added to this original collection and
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

a sad comic actor. When he was not
on the stage he spent most of his time
in the BLACK Jack" a well known
public house in Portugal street. Clare
Market, London. which was at that
time a resort for respectable merchants
and actors. where he would sit and
brood, never smiling.
Actors and men-about-town drifted in
there. Funny stories were told. Through
it all the renowned Joe sat gloomily
brooding. the humor of everything pass
ing over his head He did not or would
not see it.
And now the miracle. BY very virtue
of his cynicism he become a humorous
spectacle. Men said in a "sarkastik'
way. as Artemus Ward would put 1t.
that Joe Miller was humorous. las
Joe Miller said the other day" or Joe
Miller told me-" Finally the ascribing
of all new jokes became commonplace
and Joe Miller was locally famous
How this operated upon the comic sage
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

1T IS something to find a book which
illustrates a fact in nature. If it had
no value this would make il enduring
lin repute at least. The fact that one
may have distinction thrust upon him,
instead Of achieving it, is so often as
serted that to find 1t proved is humor-
Gus pleasure Joe AIiIler's Complete Jest
Book CNew York: w. T. Henderson, 156
Fifth avenue) provides the proof.
The classical collection of British
humor. so long cried abroad as the work
OF the famous Joe Miller, turns out to
be in its attribution to Joe a bit of
cynical humor. He did not compile it.
The work was never a matter of his
knowledge. In fact, if you can believe
the biographical note of he publishers,
he never uttered a jest in his life. And
all the humor of an age has been most
persistently ascribed to him.
How this came about is simply ex-
planned. Miller was an excellent comic
actor, of a taciturn and saturnine bent
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13
Sailing ALONE

also one endurance test in which It COW
cred distance of over fifteen miles in
a circular path while using but one
eighth of the maximum power of the
engine.
All the flights were, in fact, limited
solely by the small amount of fuel car
ried; for driven at the maximum and
fitted with proper tanks to hold the
fuel this model could keep under way for
between eight and ten hours-possibly
even more while travelling at a speed
Of nearly thirty miles an hour-a result
that foretells the possibility Of building
a machine to carry at least one man,
possibly even twenty. for vast distance
and at high speed without renewing sup
plies.
Experiment Not Dangerous.
This further step presents difficulties,
it is true, but looked at conservatively
they are difficulties that are slight in
comparison with the majority of those
already met and overcome.
The idea of course, prevails that ex-
pertinent with a flying machine is dan
gerous. II conservatfvely made, such
experiments are not necessarily so.
The dynamic flying machine may be
ikened 20 a kite lowed along by a pro-
peIler instead Of a strIng-the weight OF
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

models before my first fulI-hized glider
was constructed Gin 1S93)-a machine
with four rudders-Iater abandoned
The first tangible success, however
only came in 1896 with the production Of
the two surface giiders experimental
with by Mr.. o. Chanute and myself at
Dune Park. Indiana. This machine was
fitted with an automatic regulating
neutrality-suspicious. perfected on my
small working models-some driven by
india rubber springs; one by a species Of
steam engine. using oil in the boiler.
Safety Determined.
The results of the trials of the two
surface machines (there were severaD
gave comparative long flights. during
most of which found the machine to be
safe under practically all conditions
The next step was to determine the
amount of fight consumed in gliding
fight, and from that compute the ap-
proximate amount necessary on a ma
chine driven by engines; a machine to
give longer flights and start on level
ground, instead Of from the top of hill
So many uncertainties entered into the
problem Of computing the power needed
that 1 built lin 1889 my first full-sized
power machine to operate with a com
pressed air engine. This kind Of mo-
tor was chosen because WITH a given
sized engine almost any power could be
obtained by merely increasing the pres
sure at which the air was supplied 10
the engine This machine flew and flew
steadily and carried the operator; but
for only a short distance, because the
tanks holding the compressed air could
store a supply for only fifteen seconds
run of the engine; and of these fifteen
seconds possible run about seven were
used up before the machine got under
full Roadway.
This machine was the first real flying
machine "a power-nying machine
heavier than the air) to carry its opera
tor and land without breakage.
IN a sense it proved that the most
formidable of all the problems of flight
were solvable ones. 1t proved that it
was possible TO guide and control a ny
ing machine with engines working and
furnishing the propelling power.
In the glider / had already proven
that a man could be supported in safety
on the air on a machine under his con-
troll The next step, therefore, was to
develop a very light and reliable motor.
giving a more permanent source or pow
er within the total weights found al
lcwable for the compressed air engine.
The accomplishment of this task may
now perhaps be considered as well
proven in the small engine which runs
my latest model
A complete gasolene engine which
weighs but four pounds per horsepower
is as reliable as a big engine This
model has made some twenty free flights
of upward Of mile in length each. and
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

the machine rests on the air by reason
of its dynamic impact upon the sur
faces-L e., the surfaces give the air
over which they pass a descending mo-
ton, and the reaction supports the ma
chine-and since the machine rests on
very large and constantly changing
mass of air ia the course of a second,
the descending motion impaired to this
air is slight. e., relative to the air
the machine Is sinking but little, only
this must be made up, and it is as If
the machine were being towed up a
grade instead of being lifted bodily.
Weight and Power.
In this way one pound pull of the
screw may be made to support and pro-
pei from six to ten pounds Of weight.
But 10 be thus supported the machine
must be under rapid motion relative 70
the air. This necessary relative speed
is at a minimum something like twenty
two miles an hour. Twenty-Five miles
an hour is much less, it might be pointed
out. than the speed at which automo-
biles are driven-if the machine faces
hfteen-mile wind at starting the speed
over ground need not be more than
seven miles an hour
The endless experiments I have made
with the gliding machines prove the pos
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

inch in thickness and half the size of
Madison Square Garden. forced through
the air by a motor. it is difficult TO con-
ceive of it's satisfactory operation in
the face of a heavy gale
A. NJ. Herring, a civil and mechanical
engineer of national repute, and Incl
dentally the editor of a technical maya
zine, became interested in aviation some
twenty years ago. and has been working
along careful scientific lines ever since.
From his earliest machine up to his
aerocurte model each step is the result
of experiments. His cooperation has
been eagerly sought by other scientists
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-03-13

sibility of maintaining any fixed level
above the ground in any except violent
winds, and since the mcdel-whOlly free
from any outside Observation-Disclosures a
nearly level path in flight, it is reasona-
Die to expect that a full-sized power
machine fitted with proper engines and
regulating mechanism may be made TO
skim almost as slowly as one wishes
and but foot or two at most above
the sandy beach.
A sudden descent or stoppage under
such conditions would mean no greater
danger or shock than a boy experiences
when he drops on mis- sled for a coast.
A. NJ. HERRING.