The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-01-28
SIGN ANOTHER MEERS.
No. 2 Is Secured for Topeka Ball
Team.

Manager Alberts, of the Topeka
league baseball team, today signed
Meyers No. 2.
This is William Meyers who played in
the Nebraska league last year and who
will play left field on the Topeka team.
He is a giant and heavy hitter. The
other Myers, No. /. will play shortstop.
HUMOR OF THE DAY.
Eva-'Mother says I'm descended
from Mary, Queen of Scots" Tom cher
brother)-''So am. I then" Eva-"Don't
be silly, Tom. You can't be-youre
boy!''-Punch.
'Of course" said the man, I'VE are
very vulnerable in this matter" What
shall we do about it?" why, if we
holler loud enough at some one else our
own position may escape notice. Chi
cago Evening Post.
Miss Newriche-"Oh, papa! He has
the most delicate touch of any pianist
I ever heard" Observation-Disclosures
Great cats! Two hundred dollars for
two hours work is what L call a pretty
healthy touch. Puck.
$50 Delaney got tn job av corpora
ton counsel at tin thousand a year.
Shure, he's no lawyer" mo; but he
kin hire a lawyer fer three thousand
d ear lIlOL Ii -QO Ill WOIh USlln0k l4Ad1
Delaney cud if he was lawyer. =
Judge.
Watery-"What a queer looking fire.
placer Yes, it's an odd conceit of
mine It's made of paper pulp PA
per pulp? Won't it take fire and burn
up?" Burn up? Old boy, that fire
place is made of certificates of steel
stock. '-Chicago Tribune.
do you think the trusts have any
right to exist % MY dear SIR" answer
ed Senator Sorghum, there is no use
in talking about that now. In my opin-
ion the judicious and proper way to
handle the trusts is to avoid doing
anything that might irritate them. -
Washington Star.
ct wonder why people say, AS smart
as a steel trap?'' asked the very young
man. L never noticed anything so re-
markedly smart about a steel trap"
"a steel trap. my boy" replied the
sage from Sageville, lis smart because,
unlike some people, it shuts up at the
proper time. Chicago Daily News.
'I have three sons. One is in congress.
one is yellow journalist, and one is in
@oh, well; don't despair Some day
Mrs. Waggles-Everythin we have here
in the house is so old it IS shabby.
Waggles-Have a little patience, my
dear When they get a little older they
will be an antique--Judge.
Judge Rowndes-Your face is familiar.
I've seen you before.
Judge dIgs's Rown N; s IL What was the
charge tie last time 1 saw you?
honor I mixed cocktail for you.-
Philadelphia Press
R Rdn ta yoq Ike The bSa1 foofba er gm Rfv
clumsy. They were always falling down
or humping into each other, just as if
g."-Minneapolis Journal
Here's half pie for both of you.
Do you want me to divide it?''
de biggest half
;Tain't dat, lady I've been here be-
fore. ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer
Doctor-Your husband needs a rest.
Mrs Gabble-Yes. doctor. but he won't
Doe DoctoTlDon't make it necessary for
him to listen to you, madam That's the
sort of rest he needs most.-Philadel-
phia Press.
Balty Moore-And when you had follow
ed a career of dissipation for some time
up and became respectable?
Calvert, jr.-Well, you see, I found that
mother and father We're not worrying
about me or apparently caring if 1 went
to the bow-wows, so it ceased to be in
teresting.- Baltimore American.
IT. remarked the young politician,
proudly, have had thirty babies named
after me 1t will be long time before
my name is forgotten
1T will be a longer time before mine
isl retorted the second politician. Il
have had brand of cigars named after
q hundred years before they are smoked
up-if I am any judge of tobaccor'-Cin-
cinnati Times-Star.
The Empress of China-What is that
strange noise I hear2
The Minister of the Interior-1t is the
bottom dropping out of the New York
stock market, your majesty--Life-
Did you see the Dardanelles while you
vs." no" answered ans Mr.. cumrox. You see
we were so busy sight seeing that we
didn't have time to call on any of our
friends ''-Washington Star
Future historians are going to have a
hard time determining whether Wos Y
Gil was a hero or a college yell Fur
ther1nore some of them may even incline
to the belief that he was health food
Rome (Ga.) Tribune.
Are thew mad +?