The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-07-10

ably began; Ladies an gentlemen, be- lure lhthroJooein tn speaker iv tn aVenln' want to presint to ye tn man to whom ne owes his life an who is here on tn platform tonight, Misther AL phonse Muggins' Me frind was always supposed to put his handkerchief to his eyes at these Wurrds an with falthrin' step escort him to tn front. Wan night he tol me he give Muggins a kick. He said he cudden't help it. Tn timptation was too sthrong fir human endurance. Muggins didn't mind 1t. He niver minded annything. He was a hayro.
 "Afther awhile he took to dhrinlx TJabi- dhool hayroes always do, an whin in dhrink he was melancholy or quarrelsome. as dhrunk men an hayroes some times ar-re Clancy wud be sittin' quietly in a cafe with some friends whin Muepins wud blow in an set down with his hat over his eyes. Tn frind wud have to in thrajooce him with a catch in his voice an 8 tear in his eyes. Boys he'd say. I want to inthrajooce ye to Alphonse Muggins. Gawd bless him, boys. he saved me life. Is that sog says wan iv his companyons. 'Ye bethcher life it is' says Muggins. Did I save his life? Well, ask him. Ye ask him if din save his life. Ye just ask him. If he don lie
 
 Din I leap into tn ragin' flood an riscue him at tn risk iv me life? Maybe I din. Maybe it was a man in Milwaukee that done that. Look here. Look at this clock. I got firm his folks. if ye don be- lieve me. An what's he done f'r me? Tell me that, twill ye? Who am I? I'm nothin'. I'm Muggins tn tailor. An what's he? Look at him, will ye, with his dimon' pin an his plug hat so gay. An where'd be if it wasn't fr me? But it's all right, boys. It's all right Life is a curous place an gratichood is a thing unknown An he wud weep an go to sleep. Sometimes he wud fight He punched Clancy two or three times on ac- count iv his ingratichood. Clancy had to support him an bah him out an get tn clock out iv tn pawnshop ivry Sat urdah night. But an end comes to all things. Hayroes don't live long, They can't tn way they live. An wan day Muggins wint tn way iv all our kind. proud an simple, coward an brave man, hayroes an hayro worshipper. Tn pa- apers had an account iv his fun'ral Among tn mourners none was more af- fected thin Congressman Clancy, whose life, near forty years ago, this humble hayro had saved firm a wathry doom in Lake Michigan Tn rayporthers didn't observe that Clancy tamped tn grave with his foot to make sure it was solid. He wint home with a light heart an says to his wife, Mother, today I be- gin me rale career. We burrid Muggins But Cornelius, says tn good woman. ye owed him ye'er life' P'raps,' says Clancy, but he says, he took 1t out in ! thrade long ago.
 "No sir, Hinnissy, If ye see me in dis thress kindly call fir profssyonal help. I'll be riscued be fireman or a polisman because it's all in their days wurruk. but amachoor hayroes is a danger whin they're riscuin' ye an worry iver afther. If l owe me life to annyman let it be to man who won't thry to collect it. Amy how, what is hayroism? If a man stops runaway team that is dhraggin' an empty milk wagon into a ditch he's not hayro. He's a fool. Tn line is lightly dhrawn annyhow. A hayro is often a succissful fool an a fool is an unsuc- cissful hayro. I've heard Andrew Car naygie called hayro but I don't believe it. If he was he wudden't be givin' medals fir hayroism. If he was a profis- syonal swimmer, he wudden't think amy thing iv savin people firm dhrownin, If he was fireman he'd think nawthin' iy carryin' man down tn fire-escape iv a burnin' buildin. If he. was a stable bcy. he'd find that he'd have to cotch runaway horses or lose his job. I wuddent hesi- tate to go down laddher on yeer should hers but if ye thried to save me firm dhrownin', I'd scream fir help. What wud l be doin' thryin' to stop a runaway team? But if ye fell through my coal hole into me cellar I'd organize an hay- roic riscue. I know tn way. Hayroes ought to know tn way to be safe. If they do they don't need amy medals. If they don't, they'd betther turn in an alarm.
 There ar're hayroes an hayroes. We're all hayroes more or less. Ye're a hayro ye' 'erself, towin' those tired feet afther ye ivry mornin' whin tn whistle blows. An be htvens, if ye'er wife had medal fir ivry act iv hayroism she's performed she'd have IS nanny now as Sousa. Hayroes in tn humble walks iy life. says he? We'll there's enough iv thim to break him If he gives each wan iv thim tn on'y kind iv medals they need, tn kind tn government foundhry makes with an eagle on tn back"
 Well, annyhow, he's very ginrous man an he desarves ivrybodys grati- chood,' said MT. Hennessy.
 "Oh, as for that" said MT. Doolev. what good wud my little gratichood do him? He'll get gratichood enough. He tends to that himself"