davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
THE ROAD TO LAuoHrERTowN

BY Katherine d. Blake.
Nh show me the road to Laughtertown,
For have lost the way!
7 wandered out of the path one day,
When nv heart was broke and my hair
turned gray.
And can't remember how to play,
rye quite forgotten how 70 be gay,
It's all through signing and weeping, they
say.
Nh show me the way to Laughtertown.
For have lost the way.
l used to belong in Laughtertown
Before / lost the way;
For I danced and laughed the livelong
day,
Ere my heart was broke and my hair
turned gray;
So II ought to be easy to find the way.
But crying has made me blind. they say,
And still toward Teartown my sad feet
stray
oh. show me the way to Laughtertown.
For have lost the way!
would ye learn the road to Laughtertown.
We who have lost the wayf
would We have young heart though your
hair be gray?
Go le6fn from a little child each day,
Go serve his wants and play his play.
And catch the Tilt of his laughter gay,
And follow his dancing feet as they
stray;
For he knows the road to Laughtertown
we who have lost the way.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
clncinnatl's Cement SkYscraper

The first concrete "sky-scraper'
office building has just been com
pleted in Cincinnati. 1t Is not, how
ever, the ideal concrete building Of
he future, because it presents 9
veneer of brick and stone, whereas the
plastic material is capable of all sorts
of molding and coloring. The Ger
mans use the plastic material alone
getting from it all the ornamentation
they desire. or that any one need de.
sire. The Cincinnati skyscraper is,
however, an American beginning, and
when the possibilities of cement are
established in this country the. rest
will follow soon enough,
The Cincinnati building stands on a
lot 5Oxl00, and it is sixteen stories
high. 1t is concrete box of eight
inch walls, with concrete floors, and
roof. concrete beams. concrete col
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
Blackberry Pie.

I am pleased to note said an epicure,
that blackberry pie has come again to
ameliorate and also abet the ills that
flesh is heir to. have been fortunate in
finding cafe where first-class black
berry pie is served and have already con-
sumed quantities of this seductive pastry
without apparent damage.
Blackberry pie arrived just in time. as
1t fills an aching void left by the slump
in strawberries. For week or two the
strawberry market has been in a parlous
state while shipments to Birmingham have
been meagre in quantity and inferior in
quality. Restauranteurs think that dry
weather is perhaps to blame but the fact
remains that he who loves Strawberries
must deny himself unless. perchance, like
me, he can console himself with black
berry pie
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
Anniston's Good Fortune

The contest among Alabama towns
for the location of the synodical col
lege was conducted with zeal and
even warmth, but the good of the
Presbyterian church was never lost
sight Of, and when Admission had Sc
cured in the ballotting a clear major
ity OF votes, al became at once friends
OF that town, pledging themselves one
after another to work for the new
! college. This is the way all contests
should end. All cannot win in a con-
test, but all can accept fair vote, and
be free from bitterness when 1t is re-
corded. So 1t was in the synod, and
the new college will be installed bear
ing the good wishes of every Presby-
terrain in this broad state.
The Age-Herald hopes the new col
lege will be able to get a good start
pecuniarily speaking. Every school
that offers higher education is val
liable acquisition-any school for that
matter. The new synodical college
will keep in Alabama many boys of
this state who would otherwise so
elsewhere, and perhaps they will then
see there is no other state that offers
advantages SO varied and promising.
There is room here for talent of all
sorts, and the Alabama boy has no
occasion to go elsewhere. Our under
ground wealth is but partially devel-
oped, and nearly as much can be said
in relation to our surface opportuni-
ties. He who makes two bolls of cot
ton grow where one grew before is
indeed public benefactor, J He is
helping his state while he helps him
self.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
Democratic Delegates.

Idaho, Colorado, Delaware, Utah,
Kentucky, Virginia and Hawaii held
conventions last week, and not one Of
them added a delegate to the positive
strength o. Judge Parker. Idaho in.
structed for Hearsti Colorado, ditto;
Delaware instructed for Judge Gray.
Utah is on the fence; Kentucky sent
uninstructed delegates whose leanings
are unknown Vlrginia's delegates are
uninstructe I, but they are inclined to
German; Hawaii instructed for
hearst
AS Instructions and known leanings
stand today Parker has 202 of the
delegates, Hearst LAB, while 274 are
uninstructed. and the remainder favor
favorite sons. If Hearst secures Illi-
nos' 81 delegates, his total strength
in the convention will rise to 200
Parker's known votes consist of
AldDdI1ds rs OOnHSStiSut, II, Ncoi-
gia, 26 Indiana 80; New Hampshire,
4; New York, rs; OHIO, 4, and Tonnes
see, 24-total, 2O2.
About $50 delegates are yet 10 be
selected. The last state to select del
egates will be Missouri. Her conven-
ton is to meet at Joplin June 20, and
she will instruct her delegates for
Senator Cockrell, a favorite son.
It Is no mans race, The field is
open to all corners, and 1t is difficult
to pick the winner under the two
thirds rule when so many delegates
are uninstructed, and an almost equal
number are lied to favorite sons only.
It may be Parker or 1t may be a
dark horse. 1t may be German, who
has q considerable following in the
central states, or ii may be George
Rrinton Mcclellan, whose name is ON
every tongue 1t is the field against
Parker, and the field has the upper
hand, but concentration may be diff
ficult in the field, and concentration is
necessary In order to bring out win
ner
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
Real Estate Market.

while the Birmingham real estate
market is not quite as active as 1t was In
April and May, some very good sales
have been MADE this month";" said an OBJ
servan. investor Residence property Is
In steady demand and the home building
here this year will not be behind the
record of 1903. The fact is larger num-
Der of handsome residences, ranging In
cost from $4,000 to $25,0o0. will be erected
this year than in any previous year.
while real estate values in and
around Birmingham seek a higher level
from time to time it is safe to say that
values here are yet so per cent lower
than they are in Atlanta. Every now
and then you hear kicker say that
prices here are too high. but the man
who talks that way is not informed as to
values in other clues of Birmingham s
class
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12

umns, concrete stairs. There are
steel bars imbedded in concrete, with
the ends interlaced, making actually
a complete concrete monolith of the
entire building. 1t contains no I
beams, Z-bars, angle irons, plates,
riyets OF bolts.
While the building-the Ingalls,
was in course of construction all sorts
of predictions as to shrinkage cracks,
and disintegration and wind pressure
were heard, but not one OF them came
out of the test confirmed. There are
no shrinkage cracks in it, and the
wind has no perceptible effect upon it.
The only sound objection to the
building lies in it's veneer brick and
stone, which was a stupid mistake.
The next concrete skyscraper will not
be veneered, because it is now known
that the most artistic effects can be
gotten from the plastic material itself,
and at small expense.
Plastic architecture promises to be
developed rapidly Steel reinforced
concrete is the coming building mate
rial, and there are not lacking archi-
tects who say it will soon encroach
upon the fit.. of all other building ma
terials, wood included
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
TO THE FAITHFUL PIPE.
BY PAUL COOK.

In VIEW OF the fact that Jerome K.
jerome has paid such glowing trib-
! ute to his pipe in dedicating his book,
'The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow"
1t is rather hard for an aftercomer to do
justice to this the best of all mans
friends, save perhaps his dog. But dogs
and pioes are different, and therefore we
will consider the pipe alone, its excellent
qualities, its quiet companionship and the
many virtues which 1t possesses as op-
posed to only one fault, and no fault in
a true pipe-smoker's eyes-that of get
ting strong. In fact, strong pipe is a
good pipe. Its strength is Indicative of
long and faithful service
There are costly pipes, cheap pipes,
large pipes and small pipes but few
worthless ploes Since the time when
swarthy Indian chieftalns smoked them
in the primsval forests of America they
have swayed the fortunes of man. Ma
lions rise and fall to plans formulated
beneath blue clouds from a pipe. I'm
mortal lines have been penned by genius
with pipe in mouth, great novels have
been written to the accompaniment of its
gentle purr, and masterpieces Of music
have been nurtured in brains quickened by
its soothing lures.
Many stories have been told of famous
men and their pipes, but perhaps the most
disoreditable one Is that related of Ten
nyson He was a devoted adherent or
his pipe, but he smoked a cheap clay af-
fair and threw 1t away before 1t had time
to mellow. therein displaying not only
amazing ignorance of pipe etiquette put
utterly excluding all possibility OF ever
making friends with this comforter Of
troubled man.
And when you once make a friend OF a
pipe you have no sunny weather friend
who will desert you In moments OF ad-
versity. but a companion who Will STICK
to you for life. no matter what may be
your joys and sorrows. Your pipe may
bring down on your head the rebukes of
wife and relatives, If you have any, and
If your tastes are expensive your tobacco
bill may be considerable. yet who will
deny that the small expenditure neces-
sary to keep a pipe is ever wasted Mere
ly a glance at the virtues of a pipe is
enough 10 ioieNer soe at rest sucn O.
doubt.
A true and faithful pipe is always a
strong pipe and If 1t Is blackened by age
and foul enough to make the neighbour
hood move away, why SO much the bet
ter. Like your dog your pipe never talks
when you wish it to be silent, 1t never
borrows money and never gets you into
worse scrapes than scolding. In mo-
ments of quiet meditation when human
friend always interrupts your pipe is
most companionable. II you are hungry
it will help you to stave off starvation
and II you are dead its odor will linger
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
Splitting the Infinitiye.

In the decision of the Supreme
court against the hard coal barons
grammatical question is raised mad
vertently. In the course of the decis-
ion we read as follows:
ITO unreasonably hamper the commits
sion by narrowing the field of inquiry be-
yond the requirements of the due pro-
lection of rights of citizens will be to
seriously impair its usefulness and pre-
vent a realization of the salutary pur-
poses for which it was established by
congress-
Here are two split infnitives in a
single sentence, without single reas
on to excuse either. But Grover
Cleveland rarely fails in speech OF
paper of length to back up the Su
preme court in this matter. He may
in fact, be said to be the courts great
precursor.
True, Grover Cleveland and the Su
preme court are not finals" in gram
mar, whatever they may be in states
manship or law There is still room
for appeal, and not even Judge Purnel
would Jail us il we dared to disobey
either the great court or the grea
sage in a grammatical matter.
We are still free to place our ad
verbs where we prefer to have then
60. We need not split our infiinitives
simply because the august court dotes
on infiinities dished up in that man
ner, or because the Princeton sage
earns $2500 for two papers pepperet
with infiinitives well split. Let tn;
court and the sage split their infiini
tives to their respective hearts con
| tent-we need not. AT least, not unit
imperialism has marched several me
tres beyond its present outpost. lie
us hold out bravely to the last agains
the latest innovation of the mother
tongue. Let us write our infinitivel
in our own way, regardless of cour
or sage, law or sapience in the con
crete. He who falters now is a lin
guistic coward. He who dallies is {
bastard. He who hesitates is lost In
a flood of splits that will wipe ou
all, landmarks and all precedents out
side of New Jersey.
Candor and justice, however, com
pei us to advent that Burns die
write:
"who dared to nobly stem tyrannic
PRIDE
He thus spoke Of Wallace but poetic
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
A Remarkable Funeral.

"In reading an account of the negrtss
made temporarily insane under the
preachings of a revivalist reminds me Of
an unusual sight witnessed a number OF
years ago." said a gentleman last even
ing. ut was mother shouting at the
funeral of her child. The woman had APP
peared devoted to the baby, and on its
death her grief was very great.
LAS is the custom on the southern plan
tations Immediately after death in a
cabin all work was suspended, and the
negroes on the place and the surround
ing plantations began to assemble at the
house.
Several ministers were present and al
ternated in preaching. 1t was only short
while until the mothers grief was be-
guiled. She became so convinced of her
childs peace in heaven, and her emotions
were wrought to so high state under
the peculiar eloquence of the minister,
that she had to be carried out by two
sisters and walked up and down the
road in order to minimize the tense mem
tai strain under which she labored She
had got happy in the language of the
plantation negro.
I'm all ages and among every race
there have been religious fanatics, but L
do not think any people are so suscep-
tble to religious preachings as is our
southern negro. Religion has a very Pc
culiar effect on him, when expounded by
the native ministers. The same thing
fanaticism-caused the Hindoo mother to
cast her child in the river Gauges and
the negro mother to shout at her babys
funeral.".
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
OLD FASHIONED STRAW HATS.

From the New York Commercial.
In these days there are hundreds OF fac
tories kept busy during a good part of the
year making straw hats. 1T was not
ever thus an the early part of the last
century there were fewer factories In this
country than now and many things We're
made by hand that today are the work Of
machinery This was especially true of
the braid for straw hats. Rye straw
was commonly used although wheat was
also in demand. But the rye straw had
longer stems and was more easily hand
led
In driving along the country roads, in
Massachusetts, particularly. late in the
summer, one would see great bundles
of the straw hanging on the fence to dry.
When the sun and the wind had done
their share of the work, 1t was placed in
casks where sulphur was burning until
1t was bleached to pale yellow. Then 1t
was split into narrow widths suitable Tor
braiding
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
IN HOTEL LoBBIEs
The Female RIcycIist.

q saw the first woman on a bicycle to-
day that I have seen in a long time"
said lawyer Although female biey-
gclists were so numerous a few years ago
that it was hard to keep from being run
over by them. they have become exceed
ing scarce these days. In fact I don't
think had noticed woman on wheel
for months until today.
Yet, I am glad that the fad is pass
ing out of favor, although IT is hard on
the bicycle manufacturer. To my mind
a woman never did look graceful on a
bicycle and when she donned boomers
she was fright to flee from. Women
look better on horse than they do on
a wheel and better still in a carriage or
automobile, although neither of the lat
ter is considered so conducive of good
health.''
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12

lovingly In your clothes. Although the
company of ripe is most pleasant when
you are readine book, 1t is also fine to
have along when you are taking quiet
stroll through the woods, or jotting down
your impressions of the life about YOU or
gazing thoughtfully into the flames Vat
reveal pictures of the past. If you are
wet it keeps you warm, mosquitoes and
flies trouble you not and even those an
noying bipeds sometimes found among
men have been driven away by its pun
gent fumes.
While all great men have not smoked
pipes, many of them have done so and
countless poor fellows who never achiev-
ed renown have been able to enjoy life
with their pipes. 1t makes no difference
what kind of pipe you possess. Meer-
chaum. brier or clay is all the same after
you get used to 1t and are the proud
possessor of a "cake.'' By the way, no
pipe is a success without cake" and it
is unnecessary to explain to smokers how
a cake is made. The fact that great
men smoked pipes without damage to
their regulations emboldens more hum
Die NEIL u eIiluldle tItif tAdIIple, anu
while pipe will not make you famous
it may help you to achieve certain re-
nown and will make time pass more
lightly over your head.
The best time for smoking pipe Is
when you feel like 1t, although certain
pipe epicures maintain that no hour Is
more propitious to woo Lady Nicotine
than just after meals. When you are
lonely smoke your pipe, when you are
mad and sour with the world smoke your
pipe, and when troubles fly thickly about
your head keep on smoking your pipe.
Heed not the admonitions of medical men
who would seek to deprive you OF this
pleasure. They depict in horrid guise the
evil effects of pipe smoking but
even they yield to the the temptation
more often than not and while too much
pipe may shorten your life 1t must be re-
membered that at best man has bus
brief time here below 10 smoke ana IN
the hereafter it is probable that there
will be no pipes.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
Steamboat Excursions Popular.

although steamboats, have been sur
passed by railway trains for freight and
passenger transportation, in a matter Of
business they are still popular for pienics
and excursions said man who resides
in a river town In spite Of the express
trains boosted superiority the fact re-
mains that a steamboat is incompatible
for a pleasure trip. In the first place
there is generally plenty of room and
ice water; 1t is not 50 hot, there are all
kinds of good things to eat and drink
close at hand: a band reeales MS with
music and a dance Is inevitable. In con-
trast to all these pleasures the train can
offer but one inducement, and that is
speed which is certainly no object on
pleasure excursion. For these reasons
and others steamboats, are still in favor
among people who desire a delightful out
ing, and I predict that after they cease
to be useful as common carriers they
will still be utilized for picnic purposes"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
THE GHOST OF AMY RoBsART.

From the Springfield CMass) Republican.
Gunner Hall, In warwickshire, the
country seat OF the Earl of leicester.
Queen Eizabeths favorite courtier.
where Amy Robsart. the Ears wife, was
murdered by Iieeesters varlets in order
that the Queen and he might marry, re-
Gently became the subject of a queer
suit The Earl of Abingdon sold the es-
tate to Scott Hall, who now wants to get
rid of the bargain ON the astonishing
ground that the ghost of Amy Robsart
doesn't walk. whereas that was one of
the principal expectations he had in buy
ing Cumnor. But the judge decided in
effect that there was no possible way OF
coercing a ghost, and that Scott Hall
would have to keep Cumnor Hall. If he
will stay long enough he may grow a
spook or two Of his own.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
A REMARKABLE RECORD.

From the Columbia, s. c., State.
Birmingham, Ala. invested more tnan
SIS, 10000 last year in new enterprises
and in municipal improvements. including
buildings. In Greater birmingham tVo
new dwellings have been erected since
the date Of the last census. This Is re-
markable record for city born only -
years ago.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
He has waIk'd the way of nature.
p King Henry w.
Russian strenath Overrated

The historian. Soegnobos, explains
In the Europeen, THE Military I'm
portance of Russia He traces hel
history, showing that since Peter the
Great defeated the swedes at Poltava
Russia has done. nothing of notable
nature. She has conquered small, un-
armed states. She has annexed the
powerless. She has not fought single
handed outside her own territory, and
as an ally she has been chiefly re-
markable for unpreparedness. Her
weakness stands exposed in all its
nakedness in Manchuria
These congratulations are sweeping,
but they are not wholly unfounded
by any means. The bureaucracy of
that country is honeycombed with
corruption, and the lack of a free
press renders an exposure almost inn
possible. The present ear is weak
ling, and the press is muzzled. What
better field could the grafters desire?
The result is, inefficiency and un-
preparedness when war comes Alb.
solutism and resourcefulness in war
do not go together.
Then, too Russia has gone annexa-
tion mad She has annexed worthless
territory without rhyme or reason.
She holds the worthless parts of
Asia, while her foes hold the richer
parts. All annexations of deserts are
a source Of weakness. This is why
she is fighting the alert and highly
trained Japanese seven thousand
miles away from home. The Japanese
live at home. They do not covet the
dreary and sterile spaces of Siberia.
They want only what they can occupy.
They want freedom from domination.
Russia vans all Asia, and in her ca
reer of mad annexation she has run
up against an OBSTACLE that she can
not overcome The bubble has been
pricked.
Russia has never reached Constan-
sinople, and the chances are poor in
Iced that she ever will. Her military
Impotence is now established. Her
Children are not taught as German
children are. AS a rule her people can
not read and write. To expect such
people to have honest government or
preparedness in war is asking alto
gether too much, especially when
she encounters in war a people that
can read and write, people bright
and alert to the last degree.
When Russia, huge and bulky,
weighted down with valueless terri
tory, has a parliamentary government
that will an end to grating and
general corruption in the public SER
vice, and will train her children as
will be great power, and she will not
be until all that is done None of
this is possible under the present
czar. who means well, but who is too
weak to take the initiative in any val
liable reform.
Russia las shown considerable
sense in Dictator example, in the
Crimean war She may show as much
in the present war. She may, after
Port Arthur's fall, seek peace by some
mediation route, taking her medicine,
but, alas, institating no reforms, as
England is doing as the lesson of the
Boer war.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12

feet and poetic license are one thing
and plain honest everyday prose is
another. The poets do not consider
themselves bound by earthly rules,
and Bobby Burns may not have been
In mood to reform his offending line.
1t is part of one of his undying songs.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-06-12
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
A girl is pretty sure she can read a
mans thoughts when he hasn't any.
The man who knows how to make love
too well forgets to ask the girl to marry
him.
What puzzles a man is how a woman
reads the thermometer to wear a low
neck gown in winter and ton of stuff
in her bathing suit in summer.
When a distant relative dies and does
not leave her children anything a woman
feels the way she does when she finds
the cook has been supporting her rela-
tivss out of the refrigerator.