The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-12-03
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engagement in the Philippines. Mrs.
9ohes-What is it2 Mr.. Jones-School
teacher and army of1cer.-Judge.
Employer-Want to go homer Where
90 you feel i'll? Boy-Here, sir, in the
ONCE. l guess III feel better when /
get the air on the baseball ground.
Mrs. Holdtte--Dr. Kurem Anvil saws
must spend six months In Europe,
what shall doH Mr.. Holdtite-Get
another doctoE-Chicago Chronicle.
Tommy-Papa, what makes you so
oaldT Papa-Oh, that's because my
mother used TO pat me so much on the
head for being a good boy.-Ally
sloper's Half-Holiday.
"Oh, my friends!" exclaimed the ora
tor, "it makes me sad when l think
OF the days that are gone, when look
around and miss the old familiar faces
l used to shake hands with"
what was the verdict that the cor
oneTs jury returnedY' "Wilful neglect
Of duty on the part Of the deceased.
He went out unarmed knowing the 9TH
er fellow was in wn."-Chicago Rec
ord-Herald.
Il see you advertise for a donkey"
said the man who looked as If he had
something for sale. 'Oh, yes" said the
busy man, stopping his work for a
minute to look up; "but want one
with four legs."-Tt-Bits
'"They thought he was dead, you
know, and all the papers printed oblt-
uary notices." "And them" Why,
then he turned up, and since he's read
those notices he's too proud to speak
to any One."-Chicago Post
First TraveIer-Oh. yes-we visited
the art gallery when we were in Dres-
den! Second Traveler-Then you saw
Raphael's masterpiece there Of course2
First Traveler-Yes, indeed. The "SIx-
teen Belladonna," you mean7
"Walter, you may finish this piece Of
pie, If you want it." said mother, ut
isn't enough to save" Mother" said
Walter, when he had finished it, "a
boy in the family comes in very handy
when there iS little bit over, doesn't
he2"
You hair isn't wet" said little Tom
my to Mr.. Flyer, who was calling. mo,
of course not! What made you think
my hair was welt" he asked, very
much surprised. II heard pa tell ma
that you couldn't keep your head above
water"
At a political meeting an excited
Irishman rose to express his satisfac-
ton. "Sit down" called the man be.
hind him, pulling his coat tails Don't
you know you're opaqueT "And that
I'm notv' cried the other. "Tm
O'Brienw
Mrs. Spenders-I wonder what will
be the popular styles In bonnets this
season? Mr.. Spenders-My dear,
Wemen's bonnetB will be divided into
two styles this season, as usual-the
style you don't like, and the style I
can't afford.
Hungry Hawkins-Do yer mean to
say yer got a square meal out O. dat
sour woman? Diplomatic Mike-SureI
Hungry Hawkins-Well, yer a won
der. How'd yer do it? Diplomatic
Mike,-When she opened the door !
seq: SIS yer mother at home, miss?-
Philadelphia Press.
Tess-A friend Of mine was telling
me to-day of a splendid Seashore resort
on the Massachusetts coast; think it's
called Medford Beach. Jess-Oh, I've
been there That was where caught
that big lobster last summer, don't you
know? Tess-No, dear, hadn't heard,
What Is his name?
The 6-year-old daughter Of certain
naval officer was uneonsciously ludi'
crous the other day. The child was
sewing, when her older sisted asked
'Why don't you use a pattern?" The
little miss replied with dignity great
err than her knowledge: II don't need
a pattern. l sew by ear"
Charley White, who lives with his
aunt and grandma, noticed that the
regular black pepper-shaker was filled
with red pepper. This startled him
and, turning to his aunt, who sat next
at the table, he said: you better moi
eat any of that red pepper, Aunt Har
riet; gramma says that red pepper kills
ants"
Teacher On Chinese mission)-1 won
der how many Of you know the mean
ing of mercy" (All hands up Very
good. Now, you, Chang, may give us
an illustration of its meaning. Chang
Mclean lady gave Chinee boy dishes
to wash. One plate fall on door; him
blake In Thousand fifteen pieces. Nell
can lady ely loud, "Oh. mercy"
"My DEAR" said Mrs. Newlywed, hel
fare flushed with the excitement Of hcl
afternoon in the kitchen, II want YOU
to be perfectly frank with me now
What would you suggest to improve
these doughnuts 1 made to-day
"Well" replied Mr.. Newlywed. lifting
one with a slight effort. II think IL
might be better If you made the hole
hlpper"-Cincinnat Times-Star.
Hell never saw anything like this
tide Here I've been pulling steadily
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