The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-04-16
TIE NONPAREJL MAN

TIE NOMPAkEJl MAN
Contest for the Position of Champion
Busy Man of the State Wakes Hot
Send in Your Entrfes-HoW Carlos
Avery of the Hutchinson Leader At
tempts to Take High Moral Position
land to Run Gasoline Engine.
A paragraph holding up Mr.. McGovern
Iof Waseca as the champion busy man and
the occupant of various positions of honor
and pecuniary emolument brings from a
correspondent a claim that the Waseca
mayor is in this respect few laps be-
hind Carlos Avery, editor and publisher
of the Hutchinson, Mimi, Leader. Mr..
Avery is mayor of his city, secretary of
the school board, secretary of the library,
board in which connection he helped
I separate Andy Carnegie from $1250O, and
secretary of the Citizens Improvement as
sociation, that secured for his city Ansgar
college and many other good things. Again,
The is an officer of the Minnesota Municipal
| League and president of the Home Print
Press association In addition to these
1 stunts Mr.. Avery keeps a cow and looks
after a 7x9 cast iron contraption that is
supposed, when properly treated to gaso-
llene and canned lightning, to perform the
function of an engine.
T What Mr. Avery, tho a consistent
church member. has been heard to say
Eof this latter bit of dodgasted, low
Ebrowed, heart consuming machinery we
would not care to repeat, for fear he might
come up and try to throw us out.
I Anybody who has tried to run gaso-
tlene engine and to belong to the church
lat the same time knows the awful propo-
Isition the Hutchinson Leader is against.
I But it can be done
/ Admiral Ouktomsky would do we'll to
keep his ships in dry dock as long as the
Russian mines are cruising about the Off
/ ing.
cdr. Nichols Of Boston. alleges" says
| the American Inventor, that cocaine is
used to stimulate football players He
! says: Besides enormous doses of strych-
| nine, cocaine is known to be employed by
professionals in athletic games, have un
questioned evidence that in the last Har-
ward game one of the eleven was drugged
to force his supreme effort That ex-
plains why the eleven often acts as If its
moral sensibilities were blunted.
! Professor Alexander Bells tetraheifon
kite is scheduled to make it's ascension on
/ April 80, late in the evening. It is safe
guess that Mr. Bell will not be on board.
More people are turning out fyless air.
ships than ever before.
The coal man this morning told us that
he thought there was a good deal in the
doctrine Of special providences.
There is some considerable stir in real
estate circles in Burrville, Conn. The first
new house that has been erected there in
thirty eight years is about to be built.
|. off how 10 "a
: firm of publishers in Chicago, is bound to
get on in the world. He was sent to one
of the operative departments Of the house
the other day with a message and noticed
that something was wrong with the ma
chinery. He reported it to the head Of
the firm. A few days later he was sum-
moned to the office.
You have done me a very great SER
e vice, my lad said the chief. I'm future
4 your wages will be increased by 81 week.
: ly."
'"Thank you, SIR said the little fellow.
Il will do my best to be worth it, and to
e be good servant to YOU
d The reply struck the chief almost as
e much as the lads previous service had
: done ..t...-
S That's the right spirit, my lad" he
said "In all the years / have been il
business no one has ever thanked me IN
that way. I will make the increase 81
e Now, what do you say to that?'
"Well, sir said Willie, after mo.
S ment's hesitation, "would you mind il
II said it agan?''
IS Willie is bound to get ahead.
q A Maine travelling man tried to get q
= good one on the old folks but father
countered on him neatly. The travelling
mans parents purposed to celebrate their
e golden wedding and the drummer ha6
l. long planned to spend the day with them
a But when the day arrived he found that he
n was too far from his old home to get back
II to it. so he sent a telegram to his father
q He thought, that it good time to get
e off joke on the old man, so he merely
/ sent the message, 'Is marriage failure?'
He was somewhat taken back when he go1
the reply Marriage is not, but the re.
: suits sometimes are" "A. J. r.
a - ~