davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

Green-Mixerly, the chemist, claims
o have discovered an elixir that will
make old men young.
Brownie is on the wrong track.
Green-How's that?
Brownie should proceed to earn
The everlasting gratitude Of long
uffering public by discovering an
elixir that will make some young men
)lder.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

The youngstev had heard facetious
reference to the fooll1iller and he was
curious.
Does the foolkiller have to work
awful hard?" he asked.
NO; he doesn't have to my soc,
but he ought to, was the reply. He'd
have no time for sleep if he didn't
shirk his duty most shamefully."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

What" exclaimed Groucherly.
you want new bonnet? Why.
think the one you have is very becom-
ing"
Yes" replied Mrs. Groucherly, "and
so do all the neighbors; they think it
becoming very ancient and decrepit" I"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
TWO Of 4 Kind,

First What's the matter
with you?
Second Invalid.-Ague. What's
your trouble?
First Invalid-Same thing.
Second lnvalid-Goodl Let's go
over to that saloon on the corner and
shake for the drinks.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

Senior Partner-What title shall
We give our new beauty book?
Junior partner-How would How
10 Become Beautiful" do?
Senior partner-Dor't believe that
would make hit with most women.
Junior partner-Then Wen call II
How to Continue Beautiful"
Senior partner-Ah. that's the
stuff
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

An Irishman, meeting another one
holiday, invited him to the nearest sa-
Ioon to have a drink.
"Whatll ye have, Jim?" said the
cost.
Il don't know. What are you going
o take?"
Il think I'll take pale ale"
"All right" said the other, give
ne pail too. o."-Lippincott's.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
Looked Suspicious.

"Is 1t SO, pop. that there is so much
water down in Wall street?" asked the
brokers' little boy.
why no. my son" said the man OF
stocks and bonds, laughingly; that's
only newspaper joke"
Well pop. why do you turn up
your trousers at the bottom every
morning when you go down there?'
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
ReoInnIno of It.

What was your first step in crime
that led up to this daring forgery"
asked the judge.
Il began by changing the dates OF
my wife's letters before finally
mailed Them" answered the victim Of
his own wiles.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

why didn't you send for me
sooner?" asked the doctor Of patient
who was almost due at the jumping
off place.
well d-doctor," gasped the invalid,
1T t-took me Hong time to make up
my m-mind to do anything d-desper-
ate"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
POOLING Him.

Mrs. Ascum-Have you bought
four husbands birthday present yet?
Mrs. Newliwed-Yes, and think it
Eas real clever Of me too. l bought
big cigar for 10 cents.
Mrs. Ascum-That looks rather
.heap.
Mrs. Newliwed-Yes, but wait, /
.ound pricetag marked $3.50 and /
pasted that on it.-Philadelphia
Press.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

Young Mani have called, sir, to
request your daughters hand in mar
riage"
Stern Parent-"Huh Has my
daughter consented to marry your"
Young Manor course not. If she
had / wouldn't be wasting any time
on you"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
The Handicap Of MarrIao..

wife-Youll miss half the fun of
four life If you don't take me with
fou.
Husband preparing for a little trip
% Paris)-Perhaps, but III miss the
,ther half if do.-London Tattler.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

Jokeley-Of course you are inter.
ested in the cat show that is to be
held next month?
Rimer (the poeD-I? Why should
/ be?
Jokeley-Why, it's got up expressly
Tor people who cultivate the news.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
LlttIe Too Slow.

Tom-"Oid Biffkins caught me in
the act of kissing his daughter last
night"
Jack - Serves you right. You.
ought to go slow about such things =
Toni did. That's why / got
caught"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
'TwouId Never Do.

The Rev. Mr.. Pondrous has fiopped
over and come out for your party.
Why don't you get him to speak at
your rally?"
He might forget himself and
preach a sermon. We want the peo-
pie TO keep awake at our rally"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
Unacouainted.

Muggins-I understand your wife
is financially interested in your busi-
ness.
Gabbleton-Yes
Muggins-Silent partner, Ell?
Gabbleton-Huh! You evidently
don't know my wife.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

New Minister-'Deac UNDER
stand that you do not believe men are
sufficiently punished here ON earth
for their misdeeds."
The Deacon-"Well, parson, didn't
believe it until after heard you
preach"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
What He Used.

It was a case Of assault and batter1
During the alteration, queried
the police magistrate, did the ac.
cused use an expletive?"
NO, your honor" replied the prose
cutting witness, he only used his fist"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

Rooster-DOnt you know you're
sitting on a litter Of glass eggs?
Hen-Sh! Don't mention it. AS
ong as the hired man takes me for a
!ool he'll bring me my meals and I
won't have to grub for Hying.-Ex-
change.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
Those Dear Girls.

Grace-So Tom is engaged to Ethel
is he?
Dora-Yes, poor fellow! l suppose
he'll never know it now.
Grace-Never know what?
Dora-That he could have had You
for the asking.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
n the BOOK store.

Miss Haven't you Moore's,
poems?
Clerk-Yes, Miss; L II get 'em for
you. BY the way, here's a splendid
story called Just One Kiss
Miss Kremley (coldly)--I want
Moore.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
Just 3 WAY TheY Have.

Say, conductor" asked the inquis-
tive passenger, lin speaking of the
time which is proper. a quarter to
six or a quarter Of six"
Neither" replied the railroad
man. Il always say 'hve-forty-fve.'
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

Nell-You seem perfectly satisfied
with your new gown.
Belle-Yes; it has been approved
by the man I like best and con-
demned sy the woman hate most.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
He Failed to Score.

Him-Will you share my lot?
Her-Not me; don't like the crop
fou will gather from it.
Him-Crop Of what?
Her-Wild oats.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

don't believe ever could learn
to love a man, said the glddy girl.
Our ideas seem to shoot the same
cnute' rejoined the sarcastic youth.
4 am positive couldn't, either"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15
Sex in Questions.

There is a sex in questions
How so2"
why, WIN she have him.? is es-
masculirS, while Can she
ret him.? is the feminine Of it."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

she-The program says it is
taken from the German"
He-Humph! l guess they were
glad enough to get rid of it,
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1904-11-15

You remember that / was speaking
OF the remarkable success Of a west
ern man, named Blake2 Well, here IS
a letter from him! This is what he
writes"
New York. June 2.
Dear Sir-I am informed that you
hold an equity in ten thousand shares
Of the l.. & 0. railroad company.
have customers who are interested in
this property. and represent them in
negotiations now pending 1t is pos
sible your interests may be conserv-
ed by oopferring with me on this
matter. shall be pleased to meet
you al your earliest convenience. To
a gentleman Of your experience an in
junction TO secrecy IS unnecessary.
Awaiting the pleasure OF confer
ence in my office. and trusting that II
may result to our mutual advantage,
| remain.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13

people anG enacted by the Ieg1sfature
for the protection of the streets and
the vested rights of the citizens of the
municipalities of the state"
There should be no further at
tempts,' says the governor, upon the
part of the legislature Of this state to
interfere with the local management
of these matters in any municipality
within our borders"
The governor speaks of the "wide-
spread and universal distrust' of the
measure, adding that public con-
demnation as evidenced by the press
and thousands of letters which l have
received has been aroused are also
reasons why l should give to the pro-
tests of the people, not only of the city
of New York. but of the state, that con-
sideration which is due them"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13
WILL. NOT ACCEPT VERDICT.
Father of Young Wentz Does Not
Credit Suicide Theory.

PHILADELPHIA. May 10. DR..
John S. Vent, father of Edward l..
Wcntz. whose body was found oh Mon
day ut Big Stone Gap, Va, after a
search of many months, does not ac.
cept the finding of the corOner's jury
that the young millionaire committed
suicide or accidentally shot himself.
"My son was murdered. He was thu
victim of revenge. There is no basis
for a verdict of self destruction" he
declared.
"We shall employ every effort to fer.
ret out the case to the bottom, and ]
am confident that when the true eXpla.
nation is known it will corroborate my
belief"
Suicidal or accidental killing" the
wording of the verdict, caused a II
ton when it was returned to DR.. Nal.
com Campbell of Blackwood, Va, the
oroner. Many facts have been learn.
ed that point definitely to the death
Of Wentz as due to a slayer's bullet.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13
VETOED REMSEN BILL.
Governor Odell Vigorously
Denounces Gas Grab.
WIDESPREAD, UNIVERSAL DlSTRUST
The Bill Is n Gross Violation Of the
Vested Rights of Citizens In Their
St~rects-Tiome Rule rrfHci-
pies DisrcgRrdcd.

ALBANY, n. Y, May 13.-Governor
Odell has vetoed the Remsen East
RIVER Gas company bill, filing with
ms veto a memorandum characterized
by vigorous deuunciation of the bill
itself and sharp criticism of Mayor
Mcclellan, who approved it. OF the
mayors action he says:
Giving all due weight to the hon
esty of purpose which actuated the
mayor in his approval of this meas
ure and with no desire in any way to
impugn his motives. | am of the opin-
ion that in approving this bill he has
d~isrGgarded every principle of home
ule and has given greater weight and
consideration TO TIE appeals of those
who are interested in securing the
rights bestowed by this bill than to
tie almost universally expressed pub
lie opinion. which must have been
known to him as it is to me. 1t is
my opinion that if an honest effort Is
made to secure a more buSiAesslike
and equablc adjustment of the ques-
tons involved in this proposed act as
between the municipality of New York
and the company which seeks these
then a bill that will be fair to
both interests car be prepared and
such authority vested in the city under
it that will render easy a more salts
factory settlement than can possibly
be accomplished under this proposed
act. 1t is better to await such action
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13

CHICAGO, May 13.-Thc plant Of the
Armour Soap works here was destroy
ed by fire last night. causing Il loss
of 100000. The fire was for a time
exceedingly hard to subdue, and before
it was under control Il number of
frame buildings i'll the neighborhood
of the factory were slightly damaged.
A number Of people were hurt in a
panic that took place in the crowd
that was watching the fire, when it
was reported that Il gas tank contain
ing 100000 feet was about to explode.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13

DALLAS. Tex, May 13.-There WIGS
q sensational shooting affray OF the
c~nstbornd Texas and Pacific railroad
train, near TcXarl:ana, between the
Reys. j. 3. Cran!ill and s.. y. Hayden,
both Of Dallas. Mir. Crantill fired two
shots from II pistol ut Hayden while
the latter was struggling for possess
sion Of the weapon. Neither shot took
effect. Both mcn were en- route to the
southern Baptist convention in Nash
vile, Tenn.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13

than to approve Il measure which is so
questionable, even though the delay
may temporarily prevent the removal
to Astoria of plants which are now a
menace to Perhaps the health and
property of TIE citizens of New York"
The bill itself he denounces as a
gross violation of the constitutional
and statutory restrictions which have
been heretofore passed upon by the
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13

MAHANOY CITY. Pa, May ID
Cuylc Bros powder manufacturing
plant near Lofty. consisting of the mill.
Gryhouse and glazing house, blew up
last night, completely destroying the
plant. In the village hundreds of win
dow p&ncs were shattered. -Four hun
dred kegs of the explosive went up.
The explosion was caused by a fire
which originated in the glazing 0house;
loss. 100000.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13

Small type again! Yes, we feel we can't impress you too
firmly with the fact that big type is no evidence of big bar
gains. Here we are with a desirable list OF Saturday Spe-
GALS Stating Our news without any noisesone display, but
giving you acurate description of the articles with the truth
full statement. of actual value and reductions. We feel we are
safe in using these conservative methods for we realize only
too we'll that you know us and our methods by this time
that you know from experience that we don't eXaggerate, and
that we sell only those grades of merchandise which will give
thorough satisfaction because of their excellence.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13
CONDENSED DISPATCHES.

President Palma has signed the final
contract with Speyer & Co. for the Gu
ban loan of $50, 000,0 DOC.
The governor of German Southwest
Africa reports that a detachment Of
Hereros has been defeated, with a loss
Of thirty-one men. The Germans had
one man killed.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13
Didn't Want That Sort of Paw.

II have nothing but my heart to give
you," said a spinster to q lawyer who
had concluded a suit for her.
SWELL" said the lawyer, grufiy, go
to my clerk. He takes the fees."-
Stray Stories.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13
Mrs. Dc witt Is Free.

DELHI, n. Y. May 13.-The grand
jury did not inaict Mrs. Henrietta De
Witt of Sidney, who vas charged with
murder in the first degree in connection
with the poisoning Of her daughter,
and she has been discharged from Gus
tody.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13
Time Lost in Strikes.

Statistics compiled by the New York
state board of mediation and arbitra-
and lockouts during 1903 over 3,900,-
900 days were lost to workmen.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-13
wentz Hurled ut woodland.

PHILADELPHIA, May 10. With
simple services the body of Edward L..
Wentz, who met death in the Black
mountains of Tennessee, was buried
in Woodland cemetery here. Neither
the detectives nor the family will ac-
returned by the coroner's Jury.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09

For some time past the scientific cul-
tivation of the potato |. Q. the selection
of the best and most found variety
for seed, has been in progress and this
year the experiment has been attended
with highly successful results. One
farmer who has been engaged in sew
eral trials with new species has this
year lifted tuber weighing Al pounds
while another has obtained specimen
of another variety weighing 4 pounds,
ounces. One farmer who planted IL
pound of seed of a special variety has
gathered in a crop of over $50 pounds.
Investigations are now being carried
out to obtain "disease proof potato
as the predominance of disease wreaks
considerable havoc among the crops,
is responsible for heavy percentage
of waste.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09
For Rent.

Inc brick building known as the
central hotel, in Genoa, is for rent on
reasonable terms. Apply at this office
VI OF Mrs. Franklin for further parti-
culars.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09

repeated TO Holmes remarks that Bar
ry had made concerning him, giving
them a false construction. This plan
she worked with each of the three
chums. But the men had such conf
dence in each other that the effort was
failure.
Mrs. Conants next move was to
rately, but by this time they had be-
come SO wary of her that they gave
her no opportunity to carry out her
plan, which was to compromise them.
Finally, one day Holmes was In a room
In her house with her. Her husband
had gone into the hall to telephone
Barry to join them. When Conant re-
turned he found his wife sitting beside
Holmes, with her arms around his
neck. She had done this so suddenly a
moment before her husbands entry
that Holmes had no time to disengage
himself Mrs. Conant threw herself at
her husbands feet and implored his
forgiveness. Holmes, unwilling to place
the blame on the woman, remained ST.
lent, and without word between him
and Conant left the house.
Holmes and Barry met and consult
ed upon what was best to be done.
They both finally agreed that there
was no way by which Holmes could
set himself right with Conant without
accusing his wife. Nor could Barry do
so for him. A note came from Conant
stating that Mrs. Conant had said that
there had been nothing criminal be-
tween her and Holmes beyond what he
(ConanD had witnessed and asked IL
he could corroborate her statement
Holmes replied that he could.
This ended Conant's and Holmes
friendship, and Barry, fearing that
Mrs. Conant would also compromise
him, drew away from the couple. But
Conant was so incensed against Holmes
that he soon quarreled with Barry, and
Mrs. Conant, using information which
she had got out Of her husband about
his friends, caused break between
Holmes and Barry.
Mr.. and Mrs. Conant lived on terms
of constraint for some time. Then the
wife confessed that her love for him
had been so great that she had been
Jealous Of his friends and had contriyed
the scene he had witnessed to break 1t
up, but by this time the three friends
had become bitter enemies, and there
was no chance for reconciliation.
MARIA WINSTON.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09
Lutheran Services.

At GARDNERvILLE:
Sunday School every Sunday at $50
A. NJ.
German services on the 1st, 3rd, and
5th Sunday of each month at 1890 A. NJ.
English services on the End and 4th
Sunday of each month at 1880 A. NJ.
AT FREDERICKSBURG:
German services every 3rd Sunday
of each month at 2 M.
Sunday School on the lst and 3rd
Sunday of each month at P. NJ.
J. F. w. HoRsTMANN. Pastor.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09
Notice

Notice is hereby given that | have
leased what is known as the Cohn
Ranch for hunting reserve, COM
prising the Hanes Ranch, Home
Ranch and Milk Ranch. No hunting
allowed on said premises without first
having obtained permit from me.
All persons trespassing will be pros
ecuted to the full extent of the law.
JAS. l.. CAMPBELL.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09

The most remarkable Thanksgiving
dinner given in this country was IN
st. Louis when the children of twenty
two different nationalities were feast
ed. They consumed ia pies, "a tur'
KEYS, 10 hams and Is gallons OF ice
cream. At the tables were Negrotos,
Hindoos, singalese, Eskimos, Indians
Anus, Yankees and Chinese. NC
color line was drawn and geographi'
cal distinctions were ignored. Sii
Wilfred Laurier and wife, Premier OF
Canada was an interested spectator.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09

Because we are occasionally deceiv-
ed and get jolts from few persons,
that is no good reason why we should
not be hopeful and on good terms wit n
the world at large. Simply be a phii-
osopher and say 81 will meet all con-
ditions according to their environ
ments, and will not whimper II get
the worst of it occasionally"
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09

Diphtheria has made its appearance
In Lovelock and there are several cases
among the children.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09
The Next Legislature.

The next Senate will be composed of
the following members:
Churchill-W. w. Williams. Re-
publican, holdover.
Douglas-H. F. Dangberg, Fusion
holdover.
Elko-Tomas Hunter and Oscar
Graham, both Democrats, both hold
overs.
Eureka-Robert Raftice, Democrat.
holdover.
Esmeralda-F- K. Thorne, Demo-
crat, holdover.
Humboldt-C. H. E. Hardin, Demo-
crat, holdover; John O'Kane, Republi-
can.
LANDER. A. Miller, Democrat,
holdover.
Lincoln-J. d. Campbell, Republi-
can.
Lyon. W. Wilson, Democrat.
Nye-T. L. Oddie, Republican.
ormsby-Wils Brougher, Republi-
can, holdover.
Storey-F. G. Lord, Fusion, hold
over.
Washoe-N. w. Rolf, Fusion, hold
over; II. NJ. Martin, Republican.
White Pine-W. c. Gallagher, Re
publican
There are II holdover, Republican,
3 Fusion and 8 Democrats. There
were Republicans elected and l
Democrat.
The Fusionists will probably organ
ize the Senate, and unless there are
changes that cannot be counted on
Governor Sparks will have 10
votes for United States Senator,
and George s. Nixon will have Z.
Total H.
THE ASSEMBLY.
The Assembly will be composed of
the following:
Churchill-Leslie Small, Democrat.
Douglas-M. Jacobsen, Republican.
Elko-H. II. Coryell, Democrat;
e. B. Henersen, Democrat; Ed Nc
Mahon, Democrat; }. A. Mcbride
Republican.
Eureka-Edgar Sadler, Democrat;
f. j. Brossemer, Republican.
Esmeralda-William ingalls,, Demo-
crat F. B. Belzar, Republican.
Humboldt-Peter Anker, ID. Staun-
ton, Mr.. Smith, all Republicans.
Lander-F. Z. Woolcock, f. II.
Triplett, Republicans.
Lincoln-J. A. Clark, Democrat;
L. Wheatly, E. j. Shier, Republicans.
Lyon-Frank Regan, Democrat; w.
Clifford, Republican.
Nye-George Cole, Barney McCann,
J. G. Cushing, all Democrats.
Ormsby-Sam Platt, Ed Patterson,
James Voight, all Republicans.
Storey-John McCourt, E. d.
Burke, j d. Craze, Democrats; Steve
Spindle, Republican.
Washoe-E. r. Dodge, Walter
Hastings, A. w. Holmes, r. II. Kin
ney, J. s. Orr, Il. ]. Jones, John w.
Wright, all Republicans.
White Pine-F. M. Clark, w. o.
Norman, both Republicans.
The Assembly will be composed OF
25 Republicans and IA Democrats
total 80. George s. Nixon will have
25 votes and Governor Sparks Il.
For some time past the scientific cul-
t;,ot;o, 80 tha y~ototoi a tha aalaoti0O
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09

FOR SALE.-Two spring wagons.
For further particulars inquire at
Krummes' blacksmith shop.
The Record-courier. [volume] (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1904-current, 1904-12-09

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