The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-11-05

.to,.,, aAaeE'---Ssehts what order por.
s !. steak are required to make q
deposit, sir Chicago Tribune
sWatter-I see you are mentioned in
one OF the books just published. Prim.
.ly--lndeed! What book? Swatter--
Inc directory. Chicago News.
Gabber-You ought to meet DYER
.Awruliy clever imitator. He can take
on anybody. Miss Duncan (wearily,-
wish he was here now.-Tit-bits,
stringem-say, do you want to get
next 70 scheme for making money
tast7 Nibbles-sure do. Stringent
Glue 1t to the Chicago News.
At the Art Exhibition: First Judge
-Daubleigh is prolific painter, isn1
neT How would you estimate his
WORK. Second Judge-By the quart
Life.
Another hateful thing: How did
you like our new duet?' she asked
'Oh, was that duet? thought you
were only gw-Yonkers
Statesman.
Roosevelt and Parker outdistanced:
Stella-Men are so stupid. Bella
Yes, indeed; do you suppose it. would
take me weeks to write letter of &C.
nce?-Exchange
Customer-The last fish I had from
you didn't seem very fresh. Fish
Dealer-Weil, mum, low can you ex.
pect fresh fish to come out o. salt
water?=-New Yorker.
First Physician-So the operation
was just in the nick of time? Second
Physician-Yes, in another twenty -four
hours the patient would have recovered
without it.-Harper's Bazaar.
At the seaside: She-Oh! George,
what lovely waves! He-Very nice;
but, poor things, they're just like me-
we both arrive at the shore in splen-
did style-and go back broke.-Judy.
Visitor lat Putin Bay)-What do you
do in here all summer? Native--Loa1
and fish. Visitor-And what do you
do in the winter? Native-We don't
fish.-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune
II suppose" said the drummer, you
labor on the Sabbath, and rest the re-
mainder of the week" NO" replied
the village parson: Il try to collect
my salary on week days. "-Chicagf
News.
More Troublesome: "Its pretty HARD
to be worried by lot of debts you
can't pay" Nonsense! That's moth
Ing to being worried by lot of debts
you simply have to pay."-Philadel
phia Ledger.
Diagnosis: Patient-Do you con
slider this trouble fatal, doctor? Tol
know my means are limited, and
Doctor-Well, as rule, the patlen
succumbs to it after about two thou
sand dollars worth Of treatment
Life.
Sure enough: "Of course, don
want to criticise, but l don't think
was altogether right for David to So!
all men are liars" well, at AM
rate, it was safer than to pick out ONT
man and say it to NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Press.
Artist-Have you taken my pictur
to the exhibition? Porter-Yes, sir
1t seemed to please the gentlemen
very much. Artist-What did the
saw Porter-Oh, they didn't sa'
nothing, but they laughed ina
'earty,-Glasgow Evening Times.
Did you ever make any money O
the hoard of trader" Yes, made on
hundred and seventy-ive dollars Their
one day in less than twenty minutes.
"Whew! What did you do with it!
"Oh. they got it back before | had
chance to see it."-Chicago RECORD
Herald.
Teacher-Haye you looked up tn
meaning of the word "imblDes' fal
nv? Fanny-Yes, ma'am. Teacher
We'll. what does it mean? Fanny
take In. Teacher-Yes. Now give
sentence using the word. Fanny-M
aunt 1mDlDeS podAuei0'
Home Companion.
"Mr Heavyweight" said the mil
lister. lis willing to subscribe Slo'W
for a new church, provided we can 81
. other subscriptions making up III
ron,a amount" Yet you seem Oil
annointed," said his wife. Yes,
was In hopes he would contribute SlC
IN cash."-Brooklyn Life.
, 1ones-It is just impossible for n
r. keen a lead pencil. People are
. wsvs borrowing, you know, and the
! always forget to return. Brown
WIN I never have any trouble. sc
I've cot a whole vest-pocketful OF PEI
ellis Jones-Doesn't that prove Ju
what I d?-Boston Transcript
The Elder Miss spinster (appearlr
at the back door)-TelI me, my goo
/ man are you the person who Gale
= here last week? Knight Of the KOS
!. You don't mean the bloke Wot y'
rive the 'omade pie to? No. num-
amt i'm, e left me his ole to-
l when e pegged out, that's all'-Juug
I Sunday School Superintendent