The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-01-30

WHAT L OVERHEARD BEHIND
THE BOOK SCREEN.
HAD slept even worse than usual
that night, and by half-past
seven o'clock I was so restless
and frantic that I could have
screamed. I knew that I
.,41. wouldn't be called until nine,
but I couldn't bear to lie still
any longer, so 1 got up and went
straight across the room to the mirror
over the dressing table. looked
hideous. There was no use trying to
pretend I didn't.
My cousin, Margot Revelstoke, has
a huge mirror in her bedroom. It Is
in three parts, like screen, so that
she can see herself from head to foot,
repeated three times, as If there were
three girls instead Of one. But, then,
Margot is a beauty, while IL am
only L. No doubt people think the less
/ see Of myself the better l ought to
That am, with my high shoulders
that give almost the effect Of a hunch-
back.
Sometimes I do succeed in making
myself believe that am almost pretty,
or, at any rate, that have some good
points. But this was distinctly one of
my bad mornings. My skin was yell
der my eyes, which made them seem
more deep-set than ever, and looked
thirty If I looked a day, which is two
years older than l really am-four
years older than confess to.
What does it matter?" / said to
myself, half aloud. HE doesn't care
anything about me after all. He loves
her. What difference does it make to
any one on earth whether I am ugly
or pretty?"
But I was horribly sorry for my
self, and 7 hated Margot It is my
Ever since my mother died, and Uncle
Gordon brought me to live in his
house, telling me 1 would be nice
companion for his little Margot," I
have hated her, but not as do now.
I only hated her at first because she
was OF Importance, and I wasn't:
was the poor relation" the pension
err, the plain creature whose duty it
was to be grateful and subordinate,
while she was the adored little spoilt
darling who had a right to everything.
+ hated her because she was pretty
and because people loved her, while
they merely tolerated, or, worse still,
She was eight and I was fourteen
when Uncle Gordon took me in--a
petted child, while I was a gawky, girl.
But it didn't occur to me then to be
consciously jealous of her fewer years.
That came later-about the time when
she made her debut, at eighteen. |
was already twenty-four, and looked
older. l had never had any youth.
No man had ever loved me: I hadnt
even had the chance Of mild firta-
ton. MargOt had dozens of propo-
sails. She didn't tell me about them,
man was in love with her, until a
wear ago, when Noel Brent came into
OR lives. ~.-.,a. .u.
He was so nice to me that I suppose
I made a fool of myself, and misun-
derstood. No man had ever been so
ers and sweets, and when he had
found out what books I liked best, he
sometimes sent them to me. l can see
now how he was sorry for me. and 1t
didn't strike him that L might be like
more fortunate women, and be capa-
BILE Of falling In love.
But I was. / was just like the
others. except that l couldn't inspire
love in return. I deceived myself for
q while and hoped, perhaps, he was
one of the few men who think more
about womans soul than her body
was horribly in love, and for the first
time; that's my excuse. And some
times / was happy-until last night
Tt was then he conf1ded to me, wher
we were sitting out a dance together
Ct can't dance, even If anyone would
ask little high-shouldered change.
ling-thing like me), that he meant tc
speak to Margot.
don't know how it came out exact.
~. Perhaps 1t suddenly daWned upor
him that I cared, and he wanted te
warn me as nicely as he could, withou
my guessing that he saw. But L fell
Everything turned black before my
eyes, and the smile with which Ic
been listening seemed to turn into {
mask of ice-just as hard and cold;
would have stayed downstairs if
could (the dance was here, at GU,
house) and watched to see what hap
pened next, whether Margot accepted
him or not. But I know when I'v'
reached the limit of my endurance
and I didn't want scene. My hear
has always been rather weak, and i
sick and faint. When Noel had takel
me back from the conservatory to m!
seat in the drawing-room, where 4
could see 1.-THE fun" T slipped away
only to sure nobody would miss me
y unless Margot should see that hat
n disappeared, and come running up t.
my room to ask If anything was tn
matter.
Just as I was getting into bed sh
did come, but I wouldn't let her ir
Such short time had passed sine
I left Noel that, as he had severa
dances with other girls before hi
next with Margot, he couldn't hav
spoken to her yet, so there would b
no news to hear; and couldn't YER
well ask whether, If Noel Brent pro
posed, she would accept him or no,
Therefore, it was not worth while t
harrow myself up with sight of he
face, and I called thru the door tina
I was all right only too tired to sit ur
If I had opened the door and sh
had come in looking perfectly beau
tiful and perfectly happy, I was in
mood to have killed her. Never ha
I known what 1t was to hate before
with knife until it was so rightly
that even mine would have bee
lovely beside it.
With such black bitterness in m
heart, it is no wonder that I couldn
sleep. I didn't close my eyes unit
dawn had turned my curtained win
dows into pale gray squares, and the
I only dropped into a troubled do2
for an hour. About 5 o'clock I wake
up with a start, and for a minut
couldn't remember the cause for ths
awful. leaden weight on my hear
But by the end Of the minute it lla
all come back-the dead misery an
lopelessness.
When I had looked at myself in tn
glass OF getting up at halflpast
had the sensation OF sitting. M
knees trembled, and I felt weak, an
very, very old. would not rim
for the maid whose services share
M with Margot, for I was afraid sh
would notice that something we