davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
What Is a Babyl

A Chicago paper offered prize
for the definition of baby. The
last que of the following took the
prize:
"The morning caller, MONDAY
crawler and midnight brawler."
1.-THE latest edition of humanity
of which every couple think they
possess the finest copy"
"a few inches of COO and wiggle
writhe and scream. filed with sue
ton and testing apparatus for milk
and automatic alarm to regulate
supply"
"a thing we are expected to kisl
and look as if we enjoyed it."
"A little stranger with a free pasl
to the hearts best affections"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Earth shane Theorie.,

1t was Thales who first propagatsd
the theory that the earth is round, and
Anaximander held that It moved on its
own axis and that the moon shone by
reflected light OF the sun. Pythagoras,
Eve centuries before the Christian era,
anticipated Copernicus by saying that
the sun and not the earth was the cen
ter OF the planetary world. But the
Ptolemaic system. which made the
earth the center. superseded the specu-
lations OF the philosopher whose opin-
lon concerning wild fowl has gained
wider currency than his more sensible
views. And. In spite OF the researches
of many astronomers OF eminence, II
was left for Copernicus In the sixteenth
century to convince the world OF the
truth OF the Pythagorean hypothesis.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
wasn.t to he Foo1ed by a srrn

Wasn't 90 BE Fooled by N Sign.
An old fellow from one of PortlanGs
most remote suburbs. while passing a
certain hardware store in that city the
other day, noticed sign which read.
Cast Iron Sinks The old fellow
chuckied softly to himself: then, grad
ually. as the absurdity OF it dawned
upon him more forcibly. he broke into
a loud guffaw. A passerby, attracted
by the apparently unseemly mirth of
the old man, made bold to ask what
amused him SO. "why, gol durn it,
he sputtered between spasms, "ef
some folkses air not gettin' ter be
regular durn fules. The idee nv hang
in up er sign tellin' people that cast
iron sinks Journal.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
saved From Terrible Death

The family of Mrs NJ. L. Bobbit,
OF Rargerton, Tenn saw her dying
and We're powerJess TO save her.
The most skilfull physicians end
every remedy used. failed, while
consumption was sloWly hut surely
taking her life In this terrible
hour DIR. Kings New Discovery
for Consumption turned despair
into Joy The first bottle brought
Immediate relief and its continued
use completely CURED her. It's the
most certain cure in the world for
all throat and lung troubles. Guar-
anteed bottle free at Hooff's drug
store,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

keen Your Temper.

The unwritten laws both of society
and good manners are innumerable,
but there IL one that we cannot pass
over I'm silence, and that is-never lose
your temper. This applies especially
when playing games. To lose ones
temper in private is bad enough. but
to do so in public is objectionable 1t
Is crime which no hostess can for
give. for it makes all the other guests
feel uncomfortable and disturbs that
outward calm which is the essence of
all 0nod society.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
The Green Cap of the BanIruu

The Green Cap of the Bankrupt.
There was law in force in France
for century or more that compelled
bankrupts to wear green caps. This
was done to prevent tradesmen from
being imposed upon by such as were
unable or unwilling to pay. Success
sive edicts enlarged the privileges of
bankruptcy. but they forfeited them
If they appeared in public without
green caps. II those who cannot OF
will not pay their debts were COM
PEELED to wear such caps at the present
day the streets of most of our cities
would have rather a verd mt appear
ancR
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
CAPT. T. B. JONES SHOT.
Well Known Man of This City Ac-

Well Known Man of This City Ac
cidentaIly Killed.
Huntington Herald, Nov. 3.
Capt. Thomas B Jones, a former
@. & o. Railway Conductor, but
who has been in the insurance
business here for 3 number oil
years, was accidentally shot and in.
stantly killed. while hunting with
son, Paul Jones, on the Malcolm
farm near EImwood. a small station
on the GuyRn Valley Railroad,
about ten O'Clock this morning.
The accident was the result OF
the trigger of his gun being caught
ON rail of the fence over which
Captain Jones was climbing. The
entire contents of the gun buried
itself in Captain Jones head, tear
ing away one side of the face and
head,
Immediately after the horrible
tragedy Paul Jones. the eighteen
year old son of the victim, attract:
ed passers-by to the scene, where
the dead man was found with his
head horribly mangled. A mes
senger was at onoe dispatched to
Barboursville. four miles away.
with orders to communicate with
the dead mans family in this city.
While in Barboursville "a Justice
of the peace was summoned and
he left at once for the scene, os-
tensibly to hold an inquest over
tine body.
The remains of Captain Jones
brought here on the Guyan Valley
train at $40 this afternoon. 40
companied by the young son and
number of friends from tne sec-
ton in which the accident occur
red.
Captain Jones, whose tragic
death has aroused the deepest sym
pathy, was about fifty years of
age. He and his family had been
residents of this oity for many
years. Captain Jones was former
yfya conductor on the @. & O.,
railway, but for the past few years
has been in the insurance business
in this city.
He leaves a wife and seven
children, the oldest of whom,
Ollie Jones, is resident of Seattle.
Observation-Disclosures Herald
November 2.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
A Very Close Cali.

II stuck to my engine, although
every joint ached and every nerve
was Iacked with PAIN" writes q
w. Bellamy. locomotive fireman
of Burlington, Iowa. 81 was veal
and pale. without any appetite anc
all run down AS 1 was about IL
give up, l got bottle of Electric
Bitters, and after taking it, I fell
as we'll as ever did in my life.
Weak, siokly, run down people al
ways gain new life. strength an6
vigor from their use. Try them
Satisfaction guaranteed by Hooff
Price so cents.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
A Sure Thing.

II is said that nothing is sure ex.
cept death and taxes, but that is not
altogether true. DIR. Kings New
Discovery for Consumption is sure
cure for all lung and throat troubles.
Thousands can testify 10 that. Mrs.
O. b. VanMetre of Shepherdtown,
WA. says 81 had a severe case OF
thing heard of but got no relief.
One bottle of DIR. Kings New Dis.
covery then cured me absolutely
It's infallible for Group, Whoopfng
Cough, Grip, Pneumonia and Con
sumption. Try it. It's guaranteed
by g. w. NJ. Hooff Druggist. Trial
bottles free Reg. sizes soc 90
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
The Rummsgs Sale will not last
long neither will the Bargains
Come see both.
A Pertect Painless

is the one that will cleanse the sys.
tenn, set the liver to action. remove
the bile. clear the complexion, cure
head4che and leave good taste 10
the mouth. The famous little
pills for doing such work pleas.
antly and effectually are DaWitt's
Little Early Risers. Bob Moore,
of Lafayette. Ind. says: "Ali
other pills | have used grippe and
sicken, while DeWitt's Little
Early Risers are simply perfect. -
Sold by G.. W. M Hooff
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
A Summer Cold

A summer cold is not only an
uoying but if not relieved Pneu.
monia will be the probable result
by Fall. One Minute Cough
Cure clears the phlegm, draws out
the Inflammation, heals. soothes
and strengthens the lungs and
bronchial tubes. One Minute
Cough Cure is an ideal remedy for
the children. 1t is pleasant to the
taste and perfectly harmless. A
certain cure for Group. Cough and
Cold. Sold by G.. W. M Hooff
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
A Remarkable Case.

One of the most remarkable cases of
cold, deep-seated on the lungs, causing
pneumonia, is that of Mrs. Gertrude E.
Fenner, Marion, Ind, who was entirely
cured by the use of One Minute Dough
Cure. She says: 1.-THE coughing and
straining SO weakened me tnat l ran
down in weight from AS to 80 pounds.
avail until / used One Minute cough
cure. Four bottles of this wonderful
remedy cured me entirely OF the cough,
strengthened my lungs and restored me
to my normal weight, health and
strength" Sold by Hooff.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Sick Headache.

For several years my wife wa,
troubled with what physicians
called sick headache of very Sc
we're character. She doctored with
several eminent physicians and a
great expense. only to grow worse
until she was unable to do any
kind of work About a year age
she began taking Chamberlain'i
Stomach and Liver Tablets anc
today weighs more than she eve
did before and is real WE'LL" say
Mr.. Geo E Wright of New Lon
don. New York. For sale by q
w, M. Hooff.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Emhnrrn..ine nnt-

The first duty the newly appointed
town crier and beadle of Chipping Wy
combe. England. has TO perform is of a
quaint and rather embarrassing ma
ture. Posting himself outside the
guildhall. bell in hand, he has to call
ont In as stentorian tones as he can
muster: II beg to inform the burgesses
or Chipping WyeOmbe that am the
town crier and beadle for this ancient
borough. God save the king" he is
always cheered to the echo by an
amused and facetious crowd.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
sennele.. snrrIrnIr.

Trade has curious traditions. The
tailor continues to affix those two un-
necessary buttons TO our coat cuff and
would never dream OF dropping the
buttons at the back of our frock coat
though, as Sir Lucius O'Trigger OBJ
served more than a century ago, 1--WE
wear no swords" Does any man want
an umbrella cover? Yet you will
scarcely buy an umbrella that has moi
to be denuded OF that strange incum.
brance.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
B. & O.. to The Worlds Fair

The Baltimore & Ohio Railroad
will sell excursion tickets from
Point Pleasant, w. Va, to St
Louis, account of the Worlds Fail
at the following rates:
Tickets good for season at any
time to Dec 18TH will be sold
every day at '$21 40 for the round
trip. Tickets good returning with.
in go days, not later than Dec. 10,
will be sold every day at $17.SC
for the round trip Tickets good
returning within fifteen days will
be sold every day at $l5.35 for the
round trip.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
WINS women 100 80, Fi.h.

How does 1t happen that the fisher
mans mantleneyer falls on the women
of the house. Investigators claim that
the daughter is more likely to inherit
the fathers quality than is the son.
We all know that with other taints and
Observation-Disclosures that cause. alas,
suffering. shame. disease, disgrace,
eeath-nature is not so ienient Won
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

Six years ago automobiles were
a thing unknown. But the annual
output exceeds in value $4,000,
that of the locomotive. The auto
mobile is taking the place of the
horse very rayidly and many other
modes of travel are suffering from
the rapidly increasing use of it.
Los Angeles has improved her
streets and introduced the automo-
bile omnibus. and now Denver is
doingthe same
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

= A model in the fashionable che.
pille hats is of green, and all around
the much turned up brim has q
standing ruohe of orange ribbon
Against the crown are three small
oranges-fruit being one of the
most stylish things this winter
and some of the green leaves. Al
the outside of the brim long bow
is placed made of orange, brown
and green ribbon.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Ins,Inctlve Action In peath.

The cannon ball which plunged
through the head and tore out the
brain OF Charles XII. did not prevent
him from selling his sword hilt. The
idea OF attack and the necessity for
defense were impressed upon his mind
by a blow which we would naturally
suppose to have been too tremendous
and instantaneous to leave the least
interval for thought.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
DOMESTIC TronbIes.

Il is exceptional to lind family
where there are no domestic rup-
lures occasionally. but these can
be lessened by having DR.. Kings
New Life Pills around. Much
trouble they save by their great
work in the stomach and liver
troubles. They not only relieve
you, but cure. 25o, at Hooff's drug
store.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

This late Col. William ,Austine
in his will bequeathed $4,000 to
establish hospital in Brattleborc ,
VT. for the Temporary treatment
of strangers and / cal invalids
peculiarly situated"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Cholera Intantnm

This disease has Lost it's terrors
since ChamberlAin's Colo, Cholera
and Diarrhoea Remedy came into
general use. The unisorm success
which attends the use of this
remedy in all cases of bowel com.
plants in children has made it q
favorite wherever it's value has be.
come known. For sale by G
w M. Hooff
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Self Posse.siou.

Without a tremor Mrs Highmore
preceded leisurely to open the black
bordered letter. IF there were any
bad news." she said. cit would have
come by telegraph. 1t must be that
something has happened to Mr.. High
more's rich uncle."-Chicago Tribune.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

The English language. WRITES :.or-
respondent to the London Globe. con-
aims the three words. to. too and two
sounded alike. Now. it is easy to say
There are three to too two's in Eng
fish," but how would you write it,
using one of the words only? That
is, would the plural be "to's," ''too's"
or "two's?"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
made Young Again

Zone of DIR. Kings New Life Pills
each night for two weeks has put me
In my teens again" writes ID. II. Tur-
ner of Dempseytown. Pa. They're
the best in the world for Liver, .Sto-
mach and Bowels. Purely vegeta-
BILE. Never grippe. Only 25c. at G..
w. NJ. Hooff's, Drug Store.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

"where's papa. Johnny"
"He's upstairs ns'crp-"
"were ypu upstairs. dearT"
mo. ma'nm."
.sThen how do You know he's asleep"
al heard him doing it. He's sleeping
out loud"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Don't forget the Rpmmaee Sale
now in progress at the room next
door to Spencer Hotel
Quick Arresf

]. a. Gulledge of gerhena. Ala
was twice in the hospital from a
severe case of piles causing "a
tumors. After doctors and all feme-
dies Jailed, Bucklen's Arnica Salve
quickly arrested further intiamIuas
Iions and cured him. Ii conquer,
aches and kills pain. 25c. at G. w.
Nj. Hoon Druggist.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Wonderful Nerve.

Is displayed by many a man en-.
during pains from accidental outs,
wounds. bruises, burns, scalds,
sore feet or stiff joints. But there's
no need for it. Buoklen's Arnica
Salye will kill the pain and cure
the trouble. It's the best .salve On
earth for piles. too. ESQ, at Hooff's
drug store.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
AUTUMN.
They were standing in the corn.

They were standing in the corn.
field
When they heard the supper
horn;
Farmers Iasie and her sweetheart
In whose souls love had been
born,
"Will it shook you if 1 kiss you.
Mary, dear? said Jake love-lorn,
No." said Mary. aud it didn't.
Neither did it shook the corn.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

DIR 9 Bishop of Agnew Mich -,
says, ~ have used Foley's Honey and
Tar in three very severe ca;es of
pneumonia with good results in every
case" Refuse substitutes. At Van
elders.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
He Heard Pm Tel Mn.

"Your hair isn't wet,r said little Tom.
my to Mr.. Flyer. who was calling.
mo. of course not! What made you
think my hair was wet?' he asked
very much surprised.
Il heard pa tell ma that you couIdn't
keen Yonr hend nhnve water"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

The New Preaoher-Deacon
Todd must have enjoyed my ser
mon very much. He nodded his
head at every point 1 made.
Deacon Wise He nodded his
head all right. but he was asleep,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

Crook (geniaily,-By Joyel I'm glad
to see you, neighbor How are you,
and how are all the folks7 How
Farmer Broadhead Cgrimiy) = wa-al,
young man. what's your little game
green goods or runnin'. for Officer
Puck.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
"a crnfn on Mnrrinre.

"Of course bachelor knows more
about marriage than married man"
says Malthugavinius. the medieval
eynic. THE best proof of this PROPOSE
ton u that the bachelor did not mar
Fy'
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

Parke-Poor Pilteri His wife is a
spendthrift. Is there anything worse,
1 wonder. than wife that's too ex-
travagant? Tame-oh, yes; one that's
too BROOKLYN Liz.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Escaped Through N TechnicaIttx.

Eschped Through n TechnfcnItty.
did young Mr.. Richun refer to the
subject of love and marriage?" asked
her confidential friend.
NO" said the vassar girl. 'If he
had referred to it, should not have
let him get away. He only alluded to
N"-Exchange.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

Bystander-Shouldy you say that pic
ture was taken from life? Critc-I
don't know. but the world wouldn't
suffer IL the artist was.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

ives are terrible torment to the
little felix's, and to some older ones.
Easily cured. Doan's Ointment never
fails. Instant relief, permanent cure.
at any drug store, so cts.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
. "a q II o n e "a.
Bears the n Tie Kind You Have Always Bougti
ass q lMAzzzN

The belle of ancient India wore her
hair tied by jeweled band two or
three inches back of her head and then
braided into an enormous ball.
g. .aney, of Geneva. o., had the
piles for 40 years. Doctors and dollars
could do him no lasting good. DeWitt's
Witch hazel Salve cured him perma-
nently. Invaluable for cuts, burns,
bruises, sprains, decorations, eczema,
letter, salt rheum, and all other skin
diseases. Look for the name Dewitt on
the package-all others are cheap.
worthless counterfeits. Sold by Hooff.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Violent Attack of Diarrhoea
Cured by Chamberlain's
Collie, Cholera and Diarrh
oea Remedy and Per-
haDS a Life Saved

"A short time ago 1 was taken
with a violent attack of diarrhoea
aud l would have died if l had not
gotten relief" says John j. Patton,
leading citizen of Patton. Ala.
"a friend recommended Chamber
lain's Colo. Cholera and Diarrhoep
Remedy. l bought twenty Eve
cent bottle and after taking three
doses of it was entirely cured.
consider it the best remedy in the
world for bowel complaints. Fol
sale by g. w M. Hooff.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09

1.-THE man who profits by his
mistakes counts clear gains"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-11-09
Just ask any OF the Toys a
they viii tell you that t G
place 20 get the Best Wins.
kieS is ar Homer Sm;tb,s

Drop IN when IN town and look over
our STOCK and sample our goods. Be
low we quote you prices in some of
our many brands.
One OF our specialties Royal Rye
one case OF four quarts, D ice s.. 90.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1904-09-09
No Mediation Now.

Berlin (By Cable).-The German
Foreign Office, taking note of the
fresh assertions that the neutral pow
ers are comparing views with the OBJ,
ject of offering friendly mediation in
the war between Russia and Japan,
says that such an idea is absurd at
this moment, as the Russian purpose
to continue the war has been clearly
made known All the governments
understood that Great Britain and
France, at some time agreed upon,
would offer to mediate when both
beligerents desired it. When that time
arrived naturally there was nothing
to preclude other neutral governments
from participating.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1904-09-09
nine PEOPLE KILLED
A Head-On Collision on the Grand Trunk
Railroad.
CONDUCTOR OF TRAIN DISAPPEARS.
0lsobedience of Orders Causes rrightful
Catastrophe In CANADIAN Addition to the
Nine Dead Twenty.itree Sustained Severe
Injaries-0ne of the Trains Contained
Thousand Excursionists.

Montreal (SpeciaD. - Nine people
were killed and p others injured in
hcad-on collision on the Grand
Trunk Railway, near Richmond, Que.
The trains involved were a special
excursion from Montreal bound for
Sherbrooke and passenger train No.
5, running between Island Pond, VT,
and Montreal.
The collision, it is claimed, was due
to neglect of orders on the part OF
the train crew Of the excursion train,
which left Richmond without await
ing the arrival of the passenger train.
The excursion train was running as
the first section of the regular Grand
Trunk Portland Express, which usu-
ally crosses the Island Pond train at
Richmond. and was running on its
time. This makes it all the more
inexplicable why Conductor Atkinson,
in charge OF the excursion train, did
not wait to make the usual crossing.
Atkinson disappeared shortly after
the wreck occurred.
The excursion train, made up OF
10 coaches and baggage car car
ried about 1000 persons bound for
the exhibition at Sherbrooke. The
Island Pond train was composed OF
five coaches and a baggage car and
had only small number of passen.
gers.
The excursion train had barely
cleared the Richmond yard. when
rounding curve, it met the Island
Pond train, running at high rate
OF speed. Both engineers reversed,
and, with their fremen. jumped, es-
Gaping with minor injuries. The
shock of the collision was plainly
heard in Richmond. more than a mile
away.
Both engines were locked firmly
together. The baggage car of the ex-
cursion train was picked UP and drop
ped on top of the car following ia
smoker, and it was in these two cars
that the greater number Of fatalities
occurred.
The most graphic account Of what
followed the collision is given by J.
A. Denault, Montreal banker, who
was seated in the smoker of the ex-
cursion train
"When the shock came" he said.
T was hit on the head and momen
tarily stunned. When I came to my
senses I appeared to be lying I'M
derneath pile of kingling wood, from
which / could not release myself The