Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1904-03-18


An expert Judge of paintings declares
that he knows at least Blk hunu,eu
commercials of the old masters wnich
are now hanging in the private gaiei-
les of the United States, all OF Whlcn
were originally purchased IN hurope
at very high prices.
IL wonder" obviously cogitated MI
Walker Farr, the eminent ten-tWenty'
and-thirty.cents admission tragedlah'
"whether----" Che paused, as the
clamor of the audience rose h1gher
and higher) they are applauling my
efforts or daring me to come OUT!
Poor Feebles (about to be operated
on for appendicitis) --"Doctor, before
you begin l wish you Would SEM anu
have our pastor, the Rev. MI. harps'
come over" DR.. Cutter-"Certalnly,
il you wish 1t, but-an--' POOR
Feebles-"Pd like to be opened Win
prayer"
81 suppose you notice a great dill
ference in your daughter since she has
been attending college? Gosh, yes.
She used to be crazy after Buck Hen
dirk. but now she don't seem to care
for him at all, and keeps goin' on all
the time about Teller by the name
of Keats"
"She's an American actress pure
and simple, isn't she?" well, she's
an American. and she's an actress"
The story is told of a bookkeeper
who wrote a glowing eulogy OF mis-
employer-just deceased-making use
Of this remarkable estimate: His
keen perception and indommitible will
led him into the grocery and feed
business, and subsequently induced
him to imbark in the coal business"
About Clipping Horses.
A Review correspondent wishes to
:now the advantages to be derived
!.om clipping horses.
First-The natural process Of mott
ing or shedding the hair is draft on
tie vitality Of the animal. The appe-
tite is diminished, and with a work or
pleasure horse exertion is irksome
during the period. Clipping, or artifi-
in a very short space of time what
nature requires much more time to
do. In other words, nature is antici-
pated in her work and the animals
system is saved call upon it.
Second-A clipped horse is less
liable to take cold than long.coated
horse, because the evaporation of
perspiration is more rapid A hot"
horse will cool out quicker with
short coat. Every groom is aware Of
this fact.
Third-A clipped horse requires
less fuel (food) to maintain bodily
heat than a longcoated horse; there
fore clipping as matter of economy
should be generally practiced.
fourth-A clipped horse looks clean
er, acts more sprightly and keeps in
better health. Horses intended for
the sale or show ring should be
clipped at least two weeks before the
event. There will be marked. i'm
rrovement in weight and appearance.
with manifest advantage to the own.
News vender gushing the sale OF
the balance of his stock recklessly)-
Ere We are; latest moose; Peru been
an declared war ag'in Greece; King
Edward it the Hamerican hambassa-
dor in the eye; international conglom-
erations expected at any moment;
Lord Opetoun burnt to the ground,
an drowned, an run away with bal
let-girl; 'orrOr at Battersee; 'orror at
Horsey; 'orror in Hyde Park" (Des-
perately, as the tram begins to move.)
"Appallin' 'orror in Russia an Ger
many an everywhere else" (Tram
goes.) II expect half O. you can't
read, an the rest O. you amt got
ha'penny"
When Secretary of War Taft was
young man, he was driving, one day,
On the outskirts of Cincinnati, when
ne was accosted by pedestrian, who
wanted to know the way to certain
village. Mr.. Taft told him that ne
was going right past the road that
branched off to the town in question,
and invited the stranger to ride with
him. The pedestrian accepted the
offer with the grudging remark that
poor company was better than none"
He occupied his seat in naughty sill
ence, answering his compan,on's ef-
forts to entertain him only in mono
syllables. He drew out a well-filled
case and selected a cigar, but did not
offer one to his companion Alto
gether, he was unsocial and uncongen-
ial. At last, though, he found his
voice. "How about that branch road
l was to take?" he asked. ooh"
said young Taft. eve passed that six
miles back" "Why didn't you tell
me-" asked the stranger in anger.
Because I @iaat want to lose your
society,"" was Taft's reply; poor
company, you know, is better than
nome"