Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-20
The Proposed rust.

[ see they are about to organize a
circus trust and take all the small
shows off the road and feel that |
ought to put stop to it in behalf OF
the small boy but I got soaked so
badly by the last circus I attended,
that I am still sore. One day a
stubby gentleman with sandy
whiskers and eyes that seemed to
regret their inability to crawl over
his nose and trade sockets came
around to stick up some circus
posters with beautiful ladies and
other rare animals on them and
being fond of pictures I permitted
him to hang mild one in the large
window of this place of wisdom.
He also stuck some up on building
next door that looked like an aggra-
waited case of scrambled delirium
tremens and for two weeks ban
quoted my sky blue optics on their
glories. There was one gorgeous
picture of large red flannel mouth
with a rim of chocolate tinted hip
popotamus around it. 1t was stand
ing in jungle calmly eating the
left leg off of a naked colored
gentleman while a small circle of
the victims friends danced around
in the weeds and poked at it with
clothes props to make it don't.
Next to watching a politician per-
ish in railroad disaster nothing
charms me more than to see a
neutrality-suspicious. chew a leg from
a colored gentleman, so this picture
alone was sufficient to convince me
I ought to attend-and there were
others.
One of them represented a giraffe
with twenty-seven feet OF neck
sticking through the top OF cage
like a maiden lady protruding from
ballgown and another showed a
middleaged tiger meandering up
the weather boarding of a drab
elephant like a pediculus capitis
on the neck of a fat man-with a
soapbox of scared Indians in bath
ing suits on his back. Lest there
should be a misunderstanding [
will explain that the soapbox was
on the back of the elephant not
the tiger or pediculus capitis or fat
man. Pediculus capitls means
louise. This picture pleased me very
much as I just dote on tigers they
are so playful and kittenish. When
I was in Africa I used to go out in
the jungle and catch them by the
leg and romp with them. One OF
them got cross one day, and as |
had no gun and couldn't outrun it
had to stand still and let it eat me
up. There we're a lot Of other
thrilling scenes and off in the dis
lance wound a parade as long and
splendiferous as a presidents mes
sage while ten bands played soft
music and people crowded into the
tent like a Kentucky convention
that had been asked to have some
thing. In addition to sticking up
the posters the sandy whiskered
cuss handed around some maroon
handbills that were SO fiowery [ am
sure they were written by my old
friend Chauncey Depew. Oh it was
a bully show on the bills.
Showday morning l arose at four
O'clock always arise on show day
and merely get up other days-to
slaughter nest of mice that had
been fighting all night in my mat.
tress and stayed up to see the show
come in. But somehow the mana
ger struggled it up an alley in
gunny sack and got over behind the
hotel with it before I knew it was
in town. At noon the bright
beautiful street parade with it's tons
of gold glittering wealth" wended
it's way through town. 1t consisted
Of four wagons which looked like
they were dug from the ruins Of
Pompeii, some red coated supes OF
ponies and band that sounded like
a cross eyed woman with red hail
tearing carpet rags. On the last
wagon a man was yelling. under
stood him to say he was captured
in seventeen fathoms Of water off
the southeast coast of Madagascar
and that he could outrun, outjump
knock down and drag out any
ear-eyed-son- of-a-crawfish in town
l went out and climbed up on the
wagon to make him retract but he