The San Francisco call., 1904-09-04

looks on waiting for the inevitable
finale Of his various hesitations and in
Mister Adam, he
clum 1In a tree" For in most matters
of social. political and moral progress
tho great difficulty is to obtain an up
right, downright, honest and impartial
opinion from any leading public man.
The nation may be drifting devil-ward,
but statesmen are judged to be more
statesmanlike if they hold their
tongues and watch it go. They must
not sneak the truth. 1t would offend
SO many people. 1t would upset so
many interests. 1t would create a
panic on the Stock Exchange. 1t
would throw Wall street into Mysteries.
The worlds vast public, composed of
thinking, working and more or less
educated and intelligent people, may
and 60 crave for a bold utterance, a
truth openly enunciated and bravely
maintained but to the weavers of po-
litical intrigue and the self-seeking
schemers in governmental depart
ments. the public is considered merely
as a big child to be soothed with lol-
lipop phrases and tickled by rattle
promises. If the big child cries and
screams because it is hungry, they
chirp- to it about fair trade-if it com
plains that its ministers of religion are
trying to make it say its prayers back
ward. they promise a full inquiry into
recent abuses in the church" But fine
words butter no parsnips. Coward
Adam always climbs up d tree as
quickly as he can when instead of fine
words fine deeds are demanded. Ply
sical feats of skill, physical gymnastics
OF all kinds he eXcels in, but a mortal
difficulty always places him as it did
in the Garden of Eden, in what he
would conventionally term 'an awk-
ward position"
Not so very long ago l saw Coward
Adam at his tree climbing in a law
court. Three valiant descendants of
Ananias, all bound in d compact to
support their great ancestors reputa-
tion. appeared against me to try and
prove that l wanted to build d free
library in Henley street, Stratford-on-
Avon, where there were some old
houses of Shakespeares time which |
judged il would be patriotic and nat
ural 10 save from wreckage. They said
my motive was not to save the old
houses, but TO put up a building com
memorative of my own philanthropy.
a la Carnegie. Never having had the
remotest intention of building anything
anywhere, / faced mine accusers.
confronted Sergeant BuZfuZ. l con-
templated Messrs. Dodson and Fogg.
! was one woman against three men.
/ had only one witness who could an
much as dreamed Of committing free
library crime, and this witness was also
a woman. She, being in the employ and
under the rule of Messeurs les Ana
niases, was of course 'subpenaed" on
their side, and not on mine. Messieurs
les Ananiases swore themselves black,
If not in the face yet in the heart
but despite the advantage they had Of
being three to one, they were proved
libelers, and lost their case, going out
of court somewhat less perkily than
they came in. During the progress OF
the whole business l was very much
interested as kind of outside specta-
tor, apart altogether from my own
share in the proceedings. Coward
Adam was climbing his tree all the
time, and ] watched him climb. THE
woman whom thou gavest-" it was
the same everlasting old cry! One of
the Ananiases concerned had, some
months before, contributed something
to the press about the unwritten laws
of chivalry." oh, those unwritten laws
Why are they not called those un-
acted laws? Seeing that Coward Adam
always quotes them when ignoring
them,
Never kiss and tell" is, 1 believe,
an ''unwritten law of chivalry." This
law, so I understand, Coward Adam
does sometimes manage to obey, albeit
tell-he would very much like to tell
if-if the story of the kiss did not in
volve himself in the tellingl But at
this juncture 'the unwritten laws Of
chivalry" step in and he is saved And
chivalry is the tree up which he climbs,
chattering to himself the usual formula
THE woman whom thou gavest to be
with me"-etc., etc. Alas, poor
woman, She has heard him saying
this ever since she in an unselfish de-
sire to share her food with him. gave
him the forbidden apple. No doubt she
offered him its roSiest and ripest side.
She always does-at first. Not after
ward. AS soon as he turns traitor and
runs up a tree, she takes to pelting
him. metaphorically speaking, with
cocoanuts. This is quite natural on
her part. She had thought him a man
and when he suddenly changes into a
monkey, she doesn't understand it, To
this cause may possibly be attributed
some of the ructions which occasion
ally jar the harmonious estate of mat
rimony.
Coward Adam does very well in
America. He sees his position there
quite plainly He knows that If he
climbs his tree too often, hundreds of
feminine hands will pull him down. So
he resigns himself to the inevitable.
He is not slow to repeat the customary
whine-'"The woman whom thou gavest
me"-but he says it quietly to himself
between whiles. Because he knows that
she knows all his share in the mischief
So he digs and delves. and finds gold
and silver and limitless oil wherewith
TO turn into millions of dollars for her
pleasure; he packs pork, lays railway
tracks, starts companies, organizes