The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-01-21


with my due reward. That is, I got
four queens and he got ace-fuIl and
we had good deal of yeaSty talk over
1t. L raised and he raised, and he rails
ed and raised, and there was $50 in
| the pot when his feet got cold, a SILVER
went up his back, and he called me.
w hen 1t was made plain to him that
he was a busted man, with tobacco
sellin' at rs cents in the next town, he
lifted up his voice and addressed me in
language to hurt my sensitive feelins
In return I called him a liar, and we
precipitated ourselves upon each other
and struggled for the victory. He was
fatherly and benign, but he was also
game, and the laurel wreath of victory
might have been his had 1 not got his
thumb in my mouth and hung on to it.
When We separated he was a licked
man, and I drove on with a new song
in my heart.
1 had skassly purceeded above sew
eral furlongS when [ arrived at the
I cabin of SQuatter. and reclinin' on
the doorstep in easy attitude was man
and wife. 7 halted to ask if all was
well with them, and it came out that
IN addition to my succorin' and sympa-
thizin with mankind in distress 1 took
tintypes for the trif1in' sum of ten cents
apiece. Each of them at once decided
to be token, but as they could only
raise ten cents between them, it was
question who should give way. I
naturally throWed my influence for the
weaker sex. but it did not prevail.
Words passed and blows follered. and
1t panied my heart to see them engage
IN struggle which sent clods of airth
ten feet high. I acted as referee for a
quarter of an hour and then felt it best
for my own peace of mind to drive on
L cannot say where victory finally
perched. but as the wife had her hus-
band down and both hands in his hair
when I looked back for the last time L
think she settled the question of who
was boss in her favor
was grievin' over the folly of man
kind, and was joggled along for a
couple of miles when l came to Sore
Heel creek, and there beneath a weep
in w1ller tree sat a man of detected
mien- I bowed to him in joyous way,
but he returned it not. Then 1 got me
down and said:
"F'e1ler mortal. is it anythin' that my
Pilgrim Pain Alleviator kin alleviate?
If so. I'm your Uncle Reuben to work
a cure in ten minits."
Its herein my heart!" he says. as
he wobb1es his chin and sheds sad
tears
Then my Alleviator is n. g. Heart
disease was left out of my caIcula-
shuns when I diskivered it Hath a
trust frozen thee out?''
Il know not of trusts
Hast thou encountered the game
called faro?''
Never heard of it,
Then death must have claimed one
that thee loved -
Il wish it were only that" he sobbed
and it was then that I saw a rope on the
ground beside him.
'..Feller-critter, unbosom myself" I
said as I patted him on the ear
Its because the woman I loved turned
me down and married another"
And her name was What2''
Bliss-the wilder Bliss She lives near
the town of Hustle-Up''
By my troth, but it's passin' strange
l said. 4 was at the wedding and took
the tintypes of the happy pair. 1 also
met the bridegroom only three or four
days ago Vast goin' to. hang thyself
because the wilder married anOther?''
I vast he walled.
Well; don't do it: AS I said, 1 met
the lucky man not four days since, and
he was also in tears and about to hang
himself
For why?"
of you. Just take a pull of the liquor in
this flask and wander along to thy claim
things than being turned down by a wild
der woman Marryin EN-, for instance"
Then he absorbed from the flask which
allus carry to ward off snakebites. and
/ smiled and was happy, and when 1 left
him he was turnin' cartwheels on the
grass to snow his exuberance of feelin'.
Ny last adventure on that day occurred
as I was toilin' up the hill to enter the
town of Wh0ODerVille. 1t seemed that they
was expectin the governor of the terri
/ tory to pass through. and a brass band
was at the top of the hill to play Hail
to the Chief
AS soon as I was seen the band played
and the people cheered and for few
band ceased to play, the people fell upon
me with their fists, and truth cOmpeis
until could barely crawl. Ample apol-
I ogies should have been rendered me, as
the mistake was not my own, but they
were withheld and 1 was ordered to move
on AS might was with the opposition, I
moved. and it was not until 1 reached
! Happy Valley that my droopin' speerits
began to bound again and the world to
seem the same as before.-(Copyright
| 1905, by c. B. Lewis.)