Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1904-04-08
WASHINGTON CHITCHAT
Aged Negro Outwits Speaker
Cannon's Secretary.
HOW QUAY FOOLS HIS DOCTOR.
The senator Only smokes Half .
Cigar n Day, as Ordered, but IL IL
Fifteen Inches Long = President
Roo-eveIt's Advice TO a Party of
sioux Indians - Lumbago Causes
Commissiuner Ware 10 Nersify.

Commissioner Ware 10 Nershy'
The rapid dlminution Of his coal pile
has been the cause Of considerable
worry TO l.. W. Busbey, secretary TO
Speaker Cannon. says the Washington
correspondent OF the New York Trib-
une. The frequent calls made at his
kitchen by an aged colored man and
the Outgoings OF the stranger laden
with a bullying coffee sack over his
shoulder contained a possible solution
of the mystery, thought Mr.. Busbey,
so one day recently he resolved TO stop
the visitor as he was going away and
charge him with the removal OF his
black diamonds. He carried out the
first part OF the programme. The old
man put down the sack, took out his
handkerchief and wiped his brow.
"Pow'ful fine weather were hayin',
boss" the Old man said.
Mr.. Busbey admitted that II was, re-
solving TO wait for an opening and
then surprise the other into some sort
of Il confession or scare him into fight
without the sack.
'Pow'fu! fine house yo' has here.
boss"
Mr.. Busbey had seen houses better
and some not quite so palatial.
~ pore ole man that works TO his
Twin has to work pow'ful hard. boss"
Yes" Mr. Busbey agreed. Those
that work hard work harder than those
that work less
Well | spec l mus be goin', boss.
Thanks 10 yo' kindness. boss. If
yO'il have the kindness TO help me
with this we're sack I'll be ever so
much more obliged, boss" And be-
fore Mr.. Busbey realized what he was
doing he had hoisted the bag upon the
Old mans shoulder, and the man was
gone.
Il was waiting for an opening, you
see" said Mr.. Busbey, but the old
man talked 50 fast that | didn't get it,
Senator Matthew S. Quay likes to
smoke cigars. He usually has one in his
mouth when he is not in the senate
chamber, and there he sometimes
chews an unlighted one. A week or
SO ago his doctor told him he must stop
smoking. says the New York Worlds
Washington correspondent.
II can't" said the senator.
But you must" insisted the doc
tor.
Cant l smoke at allf' asked the
senator plaintively.
Yes" the doctor replied as If he
was comforting a great favor, you
may smoke half of one cigar each day,
but no more"
Well" said the senator the other
day as he sat in his committee room,
lit is now time for me to have my dali
ly smoke"
He opened a drawer in his desk and
took out a cigar fifteen inches long.
Taking a pencil, he marked 1t exactly
i'll the middle and lighted it. The half
smoke lasted for two hours.
why don't you change doctors?"
asked Senator Penrose.
"Dasn't' Senator Quay replied. AN
other doctor might not let me smoke
even half a cigar"
Sell half your ponies and buy cat
tie" was the gist of fifteen minute
sermon preached by President Roose-
welt recently TO a visiting delegation
of Sioux Indians, says the New York
Herald. The president talked TO the
band like a father, and they went
away greatly pleased and much i'm
pressed.
You must work, you young In
dams, but the government will take
care of the old men" Mr.. Roosevelt
said. The government will help Won
all it can, but it cannot help the man
who can work and won't work. Sell
10000 of your ponies and get 10000
cattle. Ponies you need Of course to
help herd your cattle, but you don't
need them for racing purposes."
The Indians were members Of the
Ogalalla tribe. one of the great fighting
branches of the Sioux Indians. The
president asked them how many ponies
they had, and through their interpreter
they answered that they owned 10000.
Then~te asked how many cattle they
owned and was told that they had
about the same number. The president
advised the immediate disposal of half
the ponies and the purchase of more
cattle. He thought they ought to have
a herd of at least 100000 cattle from
the proceeds Of the 10000 ponies.
Mr.. Roosevelt impressed on the In
dams the fact that while the govern
ment would take care of the old men
of their tribe the young men would
nave TO work. Most of the Indians
Were old men. leaders of their tribe
and they appeared to fuzzy approve of
what tile president said. In the Marty
Were American Horse, Young Man
AFRAID. Red Hawk. Edgar Fire THIN
Ger George Sword. Man Afraid of
Empty Bottle. George Fast Horse Snd
tue interpreter. Frank Goings. Major
brchnan, agent for the tribe, was also
present.
PENSION Commissioner Eugene Woro
recently lied to the south TO take a
much needed rest. Before going he |
wrote the president short note in lead |
pencil characters that ran as follows
says the Washington Times:
| take this piece Of plum,oy,
10 tell Won I have ~,
shall HE Inc away |
For week and Il day
For feel like very bum daco
Inc harmless necessary hen is get.
tlng busy again. but enns ara M. =. |