The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-16

yourselves to see the performance.
 Then arose Billy Walker, the orator of the fifth grade. high" With a cane he pointed out the objects of interest. starting thus: Here, ladies and gents. is the fattest lady in the land. She weighs so much that no scales have ever been able to balance her. therefore her avoirdupois Is a deep mystery" The fat lady on view was none other than Billy's own little sister May padded out to fill a white mother-hubbard wrapper. and wearing over her face a huge mask representing very plump Irish woman. She was seated in a chair mounted on an empty goods box Then Billy moved the crowd on to the next freak, Robbie Brown elevated on another goods box, and disguised as a tattooed man. He had accomplished wonderful effects with water colors. his face, arms. nec6 and portion of his shoulders being covered with purple dragons. pink lizards and green fishes 'The most wonderful-' began and stopped Billy. not able to think of the word "tattooed" Then he coughed to hide his confusion. The most wonderful-f he began again, but the truant word would not come to mind What are you?' he whispered quickly. bending over to Robbie, who. in spite of himself. was smiling Tat tooed Filipino" whispered back he of the hand-pafnted skin. "The most won- derful tattooed Filipino in this or any other world" sang out Billy, fully re- covering his composure. Then he poked Bobs bare shoulders with his cane to call attention to the original designs that adorned him. But the point of the cane being of ragged metal 1t reused the fighting blood of the Filipino, who. with an angry scowl, spoke up sharply don't get so fresh with that stick. It aint the softest thing in the world. Billy glared his disapproyal at the tat tooed Filipino, and turning to the in- dulgent audience (that was trying to hide it's amusement. winkng and nudg- ing one another) he explained apologet- ically: "Aw. he's just learning a little English, you know and is trying to show off. Never mind what he says he's half witted"
 At this remark "the fattest lady. in the land giggled so ,staad nsnnadns|X tnas made a wry face at her. saying in an aside "Smartyl'
 Say, there. Jack" cried Billy, keep full at this end" Then he called the crowds attention to the remaining ani- mals of the menagerie. Here, ladies and gents is the king of beasts the cane to old Rover, the shepherd dog be- longing to the Filipino, who was tied to one of the tent poles, and after the per formance you will have the pleasure of seeing him devour meat. And now, last of all" roared Billy in a proud voice. 'I have the pleasure of introducing you to a quartet of Russian wolves. He directed the attention of the crowd to a large box. open at two sides, the two openings being covered safely with wire netting, in which four tame little spur rels were scampering about at play; towing to the ferocity of these beasts warn you not to stand too near the cage. Folks is their principal diet And now, if you will all kindly be seated the circus will begin"
 The crowd quickly seated itseif on the dozen rude pine benches that circled the ring. and patiently waited for the band to play Dock Payne and Dennis Ryan, coming from the ticket booth lhavins disposed of all the seats). furnished the music Dock beating snare drum, Whiie Dennis handled the mouth organ Tn a masterly style. The airs they rendered. were "Dooley" and "Hiawatha.'
 The crowd moved to the next freak. who was little Nell Briant, mounted on a turned down washtub Here, gem tlemen, ladies and chil-dern," announced Billy, his tone taking on more and more of the circus professional twang, lis the Midget from Mars. She's the smallest of her kind this side the. moon, weighing one pound. and measuring 10 inches in and Billy tapped Nell with his cane. With some difficulty 'the Midget from Mars" obeyed. walking on her knees to lessen her height. She wore training skirt Cher big sisters old pink silk) and had bit of white lace curtain about her shoulders for a shawl. Her flaxen hair was put up with great show on top her round little head.
 NOW said Billy. dramatically. lead