davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1904-03-10

oday for the first
ncement of Mr..
for the office of
4. Fletcher is a
u Of the north
of the county,
smber of re1a-
ali over the
ake the cam
y bis oppo-
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1904-03-10

loonkeeper,
saloonkeeper
HI Perhaps
of the En-
We believe
atriotic, law
etfmes finds
with the sale
And often with
~, even.
better citizen if
r drink the stuff.
be. But as a
% his large congre-
Ian two weeks ago,
y may be engaged in
good man or citizen
liskey. A good man
may play cards. A
or citizen may some
Az a commandment or
BIS a law of the land. If
y not true the good cili-
aud be in such a minority
N would be forced to the
sikyof breaking some law to
the monotony.
such a citizen should be
ssed with the idea that he
be a better citizen if he
1 do these things. That
Iuld feel better and stand
with his neighbors and
bis family, if he were en-
ia some more useful and
hlc business. We have
aeapise the liquor traffic
ave some respect for
those who find them
9ed in it, and we re-
Vbts, but we shall
take away the
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1904-03-10
Working Overtime,

-Waycross Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
A New Use for Pups,

An Italian expert in the art of shin
ing shoes has been arrested in Atlantic
City for using fox-terrier puppies as
part of his polishing kit. Despite his
protest that the process did not hurt
the dog. he was fined, and the luck
less objects of his alleged cruelty TAX
en- from him. Strips of flannel are
usually employed to give the finishing
gloss of the perfect patent leather
POLISH or coil shine" producing
sciEtillating effect pleasing both to the
operator and to the customer. The
italian artist of Atlantic City, seeking
to triumph over competition, and i'm
prove on the routine system of polish
ing, seized a new idea and a fox ter
rier pup, simultaneously. The expert
ment was a success. the dog survived
1t, and the demands of trade necessi-
tated the employment of several pups,
in order to avoid wearing out the orig
inal victim. The system involved
cluching the dog firmly by the neck
and hind legs, and drawing him to and
fro across the eXpanse of leather. The
Italian martyr, in the conflict between
progress and conservatism. said in his
defense: mo hurta ola pup. Oil i'm da
skin good for da leather, maka the
gran shine. Fine business"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23

"IIe is the youngest man | know"
says Mrs. Henson of her 70 year old
husband, DR. s. l.. Henson, pastor of
fremont temple. and truly he is a
wonderfully youthful man, as they are
charming, unaffected couple.
THE Youngest man know" came
romping into The Henson parlOr the
other day, his figure rs erect anu even
bOyish as it was years ago, his cheeks
flushed with health, and his manner
ovcrfoWing with fun and good humor.
''SWeetheart," said he. holding up
one finger in delightfully."- Gliding
manner, beware of the press. Ill
have to be your censor"
Then, with both hands in his pockets,
he twirled about in q sort of piroquette
and pointed tragically to a coat OF
arms emblaZoned on the wall.
'Then, laughing gayly, this extreme
ly-nay, remarkably-young old man
shook hands and sped briskly away to
finish one of those soul-awakening
sermons of his which weekly thrill the
big temple from cellar to ceiling
Boston Post
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
Wanted to Read the Sign.

Skating weather brings with it mem
cries of the old farmer in Maine who
still chung to the invigorating pastime.
He used to be the first one in his vii
lage to put on skates and was anxious
always to see ice formed on the surface
OF the pond
One day he visited pond to which
he had not gone in some time nd was
surprised to see pole sticking through
the ice with board nailed on it and
something looking like painting on the
board
ut says something on that ere
board,'' said Mr. Farmer. "Just my
luck-my sights poor and l amt got
my glasses Howsomever, it's only a
pleasant little skate to the post"
Later they had to fish him out of the
chilled water The words on the sign
were:
''Ice thin here; keep away."-Phila-
delphia Ledger
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
The Same to All.

A man entered quick lunch estab-
lishment and ordered portion of cold
tongue. While this order was being
executed the following dialogues could
be heard at short intervals between
the various mattresses and the chef
''Chef, how about my small steak?"
ION the fire" This from the chef
And then:
"Chef, I've got some liver and bacon
coming"
ION the fre!''
The same answer for several other
orders.
About this time. there was a brief
conference between the man who had
ordered cold tongue and the waitress
who had taken the order.
And then we heard this:
"Chef, how about my cold tongue:"
ION the fire.
"Well, for goodness sake take it OFF,
cried the excited waitress. - Lippin-
colts Magazine.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
An Eyewitness.

Bessie, six years of age, was having
discussion with her playmate, Har-
old, who was about five months her
senior, as to which was the older.
At last he exclaimed defiantly, 81
know I'm the oldest because my birth
day comes first
But Bessie was not to be outdone.
"Oh, l know you came down first" she
said, .but | was made first, because
remember watching the angels when
they were making YOU Lippincott's
MAGAZINE
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23

different in de ole days, an it's got &c
be different ag'in er yo' am gwine to
land wild a bump dat will make yo
tired fur a var afterwards. [ hain't
sayin' dat de Guild man shouldn't seek
to improve his posishun. intellectually
socially an financially, but I'm tellin
yo' dat yo' am walkin' into a trap.
'Bekase de white man does dis or
dat it don't foller dat 20 should imi-
tate him, which is jest what de hull
crowd of yo' am doin' Is bin libbip'
in dis yere world ODER sixty vars.
nebber had a box at de poStoffis, an
yet l could allus borry dollar when
| wanted to. | nebber had a cuckoo
clock, but | could allus git credit wild
de grocer an butcher. | nebber had
no parlor organ, but white folks have
called ON me in sickness an offered
sympathy an money. l nebber had
real carpets an stuff cheers an side
bo'ds an SIGH, but no man has had to
cum twice to my house wild a bill.
SIS standin' yere tonight in de best
suit of clothes Is got, an | reckon it's
about de poorest in de hall. l had cod
fish an taters fur supper, an Is
gwine to have bacon an taters fur
breakfast. | shall so home tonight to
walk on rag carpet an sleep OH &
husk mattress, an no burglar will
think of wastin' his time tryin' to
break into my pore leetle cabin. OATS
me, jest as I stand yere tonight-no
plug hat, no dimunds, no patent leath-
ers-an yit cherry one of yo' know dat I
have less worry an mo- money dan any
fo'ty Of yo put together. Is sittin' in
my ole fashioned splint bottom cheer
an smokin' my pipe an gwine slow,
but de rest of yo' am sittiil' on stuff
cheers, smokfn' yo'r Havana cigars an
maxim de pace redhot.
"YO' hain't chen satisfied wild max
in monkeys Of yourselves by tryin' tc
put on silver plate. Yo' is manglin' up
de good ole English language as dog
tears meat Right in dis hall less'n ar
hour ago 1 heard Samuel Shin say to
Waydown Bebee dat de reflex of de
fuctuashun seemed to prognosticate an
inherent winter. Waydown Bebee
didn't fall down in a fit. His eyes
didn't chen bulge out. Oar wasn't de
least sweat on his collar as he answer
ed back dat de emblema teal desider-
alum sometimes counterbalanced de
symphonious constitushun. Think Of
it! Think of a Guild man of twenty
Vars grabbin' at de English language
an bitin' it off in sich hunks as dat.
my frens, am done. l Lain't gwine
to say no mo- on dis subjeck fur hull
var. I'm gwine to keep right on in my
sa he ole way, an | reckon dat most
Of yo' will keep right on in yo'r new
ways. | hain,t putin any obstacles in
yor way, but I'm gwine to hab yo
plainly understand dat when de crash
comes an de paflor organ an cuckoo
clock an lace curtains go sailin' outer
de house dar won't be no use of yo'r
rushin toward my cabin. shall be
sittin' right dar in de same ole place,
but | shall be so deaf dat when yo'
pound on de back dCah an want to
borry money l shan't hear yo'.
''Iet us now break de meetin' in two
an take our patent leather shoes an
dimund pins homeward."
M. QUAD.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
They Suffer In silence.

1.-THE question is now being agitated,' y
began Mr.. VictimiZer, folding his pa
per, '.'as to which is the more fatal to
mankind, gunpowder or face powder"
81 never heard of a man being killed
by face powder, Horatio," interpolated
his wife.
''Ne, men don't mention such things,
he replied; ''but, nevertheless, many a
one is undergoing what might be term
ed living death by having faced a
volley of it and weakly surrendering
There are deaths and deaths, Maria. y
New Orleans es-DemOcrat.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
His Inference.

Its an awfully sad thing said the
cynic mournfully.
what isl" asked the cynic's friend
Something | have just discovered.
It's really terrible!'
Dear, dear. And what have you
just discovered?"
THAT women don't so to heaven"
"What?"
Eyes. I hardly dare to mention it,
but it's true. L have Scriptural evil
dence to that .effect-evidence which is
conclusive. l was reading the Bible
just this morning and l came across a
passage which puts the question be-
yOnd all debate"
"And what was it?"
sit was Revelation viii, l. and it
reads, And there was silence in heaven
for the space of about half an hour -
Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
Z dckinf In q
Sense Of Hun,or

"H ERE'S new one" said the CO.
IN nundrum tiend, buttonholing
Jack Dullard as the latter was
leaving the club the other day.
"Oh, go to thunder" replied Jack i'll
naturally. Il haven't time to listen to
your stale jokes. Try 'em on the door
man."
"Oh, but, say, this is daisy-funny,
YOU know. You can take it home and
amuse your wife and children tonight
az the dinner table,
"All right. Blaze away" uttered Jack
resignedly.
Here it is: Why is a minister near
ing the end of his sermon like a raga-
muf1in?'
"Give it up"
Because he's toward his close Ha,
hal Good one, eh? See the point? Be-
cause he's toward his closet You see
But Jack had escaped.
whats new, Jack?' asked his wife
at dinner that night.
Nothing at all-same old routine.
Oh, yes; here's a new conundrum for
the kids Why is clergyman nearing
the end of his sermon like a street
ragamuffin!"
All gave it up.
''Why, it's just as easy. Because he's
torn his gown. Ha, ha, ha! How's
that, Bess?'
But I don't see anything funny in
that. There's no point to it,
isn't, eh? Well, l always said you
had no sense of humor."-New York
Times.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
NJ. QUAD.

Boy" said the self appointed adj
wiser, don't be so careless with that
gun"
ooh, it will not hurt you," answered
the boy indifferently.
Yes, that's what they all say" con-
tinued the adviser, ''but it is always
the empty gun that kills."
"Well, you needn't be disturbed
then" replied the gunner, because this
one is loaded with buckshot in both
barrels "-Lippincott's Magazine.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
Army Cars.

The administration of the ears army
has just placed an order with a ST.
Petersburg firm for the immediate con-
struction Of twenty-five Kitchen rail
road cars. These cars are to be fifty
six feet in length and ten and one
half feet wide, and each car will be
able to turn out meals for 700 soldiers.
Each car is to be equipped with a
refrigerator, four cooking stoves and a
large water tank. Similar kitchen cars
were tried last year on the Manchurian
and Eastern Siberian railroad. and
they are said to have given the great
est faction.-Chicago Journal
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
TWO GENERALS.

~WO generals there are
Who with each other war.
u They do not MAIN,
But just the same
They play game
That wins them fame
Without a brilse or scar.
The one who's first of these
Is known as General Freeze,
For first is he
To come and see,
Then Skillfully
Plan victory
And get there by degrees.
With silent step he treads,
And wide his sway he spreads
With icy beams
He dams the streams.
Where nature dreams
His banner CLEANS
Ana snowy luster sheds.
The next in line to draw
Is known as General Thaw,
For tbs his plan
To come and scan
Each icy span
The first began
And lay bare every flaw.
The icy bonds he breaks
That fettered streams and lakes;
The rivers leap
With joy and sweep,
And every heap
OF snow once deep
It's earthly bed forsakes.
The work by one begun
Is by the next undone.
They thus contend,
Assail, defend,
Build up and rend,
But in the end
The war by Thaw is won.
Theodore HI. Boice in Pittsburg Chroni-
cle-Telegraph.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23

"Hello, old man! Never saw you
walking so fast. Where are you go
ing?"
"Fellow just stole my automobile and
went off down this road"
"But surely you don't expect to over
take him afoot?'
"Sure. He forgot to take the repair
kit with him" -Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
Sure He'd Get 1t.

'"Therer said Mr.. jerks, stopping
suddenly Il was going to get that
piece of silk for my wife, and forgot
all about it until now. Never mind"
he continued, starting on again. "I'll
get it when 1 get home, all right
Somerville (Mass) Journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
Getting Desperate.

Customer Gracious, what crush!
l never saw bargain counter in gro
Gerry store before.
Grocer (pale with anxiety)-I adver-
tised a lot Of eggs a few cents below
the market price, ma'am, and those
people are tryin' to get at EN- Chicago
Tribune
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23

Belgrave-You don't seem to have q
very high opinion of the ability of Mr..
Boothlet.
Variety don't think him much of an
actor, I'll admit, but he does not claim
to be himself He always is particular
to speak of himself as an artist-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
Sterile Ground.

Cholly-Cawn't imagine what's the
mattah with Gussie There seems to
be something preying on his mind.
Miss Sharpe-Oh, whatever it is, let
it alone. 1t will probably die of star
walton. Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
Selfish.

Mother-Tommy, what's the matter
with your little brother?
Tommy-He's crying because I'm eat
ing my cake and won't give him any.
Mother-Is his own cake finished?
Tommy -Yes'm, and he cried while
was eating that too.-New Yorker.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
The Limekiln Club
Brother Gardner Sees Danger Ahead
For the Colored Race
Copyright, 1903. by c. 3. Lewis

copyright, 1903 by c. 3. Lewis.l
IVA mp Y frens," said Brother Gard
M ner as he stood up in his
GW0 place after the routine
business of the LimekiIn
club had been disposed Of the other
evening, 81 has bin tellin' yo' fur de
last five vars dat yo am all wrong an
orter change, an Is gwne to repeat
my words ag'in tonight. | has bin
Watchin de Guild man an woman
mighty clus fur a long time back, an
Is tellin' yo' dat mos of 'em am gittin'
ready to cum down outer de tree wild
bang an bump. 6
Oar hain't skassly a Guild man Of
my acquaintance today who hain't pay
in out mo- money fur his cuffs collars
an neckties dan was paid fur de clothes
of a hull family fifteen vars ago.
eve needn't go outside dis club to
find SIGH cases of extravaganza as will
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
His Advice.

Frankly, madam" said the honest
salesman, II wouldn't advise you to
take that gown"
"Why not?' asked the woman.
''It doesn't match your complexion"
he explained.
"Oh, WELL" she replied carelessly, 81
can change the compleXion."-B Brook
Ign Eagle.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23

Daughter-Mr. Penn draws we'll,
doesn't he, papa?
Father-His pictures are not so bad,
but the checks he draws are no good
at all.-Puck
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23
Easily Believed.

MANY have said that if Longfellow
were living today he could not sell his
poems," remarked the girl with the
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23

I'm sure of it," replied the amateur
poet. "Why, haven't been able to sell
mine" -Philadelphia Record
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-01-23

"Oh, joy! oh, joy! There I've gone
and swallowed me excuse. Now I'll
have to tell de teacher | have some in
side information for her."-New York
Evening Journal.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-11-30
.er in such n cast 10 lose no lime.

Ter in such cast 10 lose no time
The girl turned and walked to the
house with him. He found the patient
restless and irritable. The wan white
ness eff his face had given place to ris.
ing fever. His eyes We're unnaturally
bright, and they followed Armstrong
with haunted look in them.
When Dr. Marsden arrived he went
about his work in businesslike fash
ion. A physician of that day had
ample experience with either gunshot
or sword wounds, each being plentiful
enough to arouse little curiosity respect
ing their origin. He brusquely turned
Armstrong and the sister out of the
room after having requisitioned what
materials he needed, and the two stood
together in anxious and somewhat en-
barrassed silence on the landing, with
in call if either We're needed. The
girl was the first to speak.
II fear my brothers case is more
dangerous than you would have me
suppose" she said in tremulous voice.
Not from the wound" he answered.
''From what. then?" she asked in sur
prise.
II do not know He has something
on his mind. l saw that from the mo-
ment lie was hurt. He is very brave,
and this accident in itself would make
little impression on him. My acquaint-
ance with him is but few hours old,
yet know he is IL fearless youth. Are
you aware of a mission that takes him
to ONford:'
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-11-30
TRUST YOU HAVE MET WITH NO HARSH TREATMENT"

for two, and ypu can oticr to Arm.
strong safe conduct under your guild
ance, giving what plea you choose for
the absence of the man who was to
accompany you and who, it may be,
was supposed to have procured this
pass from me-"
Cromwell folded the pass and handed
it to young Wentworth. go. This
paper is your safeguard. shall give
the order that you are to be well
mounted and provided with money.
Send Captain Bent to Inc as you pass
out"
Once more alone, Cromwell wrote
the pass for Armstrong, giving him
permission TO travel between Carlisle
and Manchester. When he had finish
cd writing. Captain Bent was standing
beside the table, and to him he de-
livercd the paper
you viii, give that to your late
prisoner" he said "He is to depart
tomorrow morning. not before s
o'clock, and is to travel unmolcsted.
You have accomplished your duties
well, captain, and your services shall
not be forgotten"
The silent but grati.icd captain left
the room with str;lighter shoulders
than had marked his previous exit.
His chief looked up ut the dark gallery
and called out. Gone down and report
yourself to the officer of the night"
For nearly ten minutes Cromwell sat
at the table in silence, save for the
busy scratching of his pen. Then he
rose YEARLY, with deep sigh, his
marked face seemingly years older
than when lie had entered the room.
Once outside, he gave Colonel Porlock
the papers he had written and said
"TEe finding of the court martial is
approved. but the sentence is suspend
ed. 1t is possible that Wentworth may
render such service 70 the state as will
annul the sentence against him. You
will give him every assistance he re-
quires Of you and the amount of mon
ey set down in this order. Bring out
my horse"
When the animal was brought to the
lawn the general mounted with some
difficulty, more like an old man than
leader OF cavalry The two silent
horsemen behind him, he disappeared
once more into the night, as he had
come.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1904-11-30
Manchester and Oneida.
HOmeseekers' Excavations.

August 2 and Is. Sept. and 70. Oct.
and IL. No'. and 5 Dec. 6and 20, 1904.
Going limit Is days; final return, i.tu!t
sufficient numoer OF days to perm
leaving destination within 81 days frOu
dSte OF sale.
One first class fare for Tie round trip
plus $500. except rates to Denver,
Colorado Springs, Peublo, aud Trinidad
Colo and Cheyenne Myo. will be nude
one fare plus $3.50 for the round trip.
No tickets to be sold for less than 50 90.
For children of 5 and under IL years
of age, half of the above rates.
To points i'll Alabama, Alberta, Ari-
iona, Arkansas, Assiniboia, British
Columbia, Canadian Northwest, Colo
RADIO, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indian
Territory, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky,
Louisiana, Manitoba, Mexico, Michigan,
Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Mon
tana, Nebraska, New Mexico, North
and South Dakota, North Carolina,
Oklahoma, Ontario, Oregan, Saskatch-
evan, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vir-
GINA, Washington, Wisconsin, and
Northern Michigan, Wyoming.
Limits and Stop-overs.
Tickets to be good from starting
point only on date of sale, and to re-
quire continuous passage on going trip.
to first point in homeseekers excursion
territory enroute being good thence TO
finel destination within extreme going
limit of Is days from date of sale, ex-
cept that on tickets to points beyond
the Missouri River no stop-overs will
be allowed east of Trans : Missouri
, homeseekers territory, Stop overs in
Trans Missouri homeseekers excursion
territory will be granted on going trip
after reaching first homeseekers excurs-
ion point enroute within extreme going
going limit Of Is days.
Return tickets will be good for con-
tinuous passage only from point of
destination to original starting point.
No stop overs allowed on return trip.
1882 j. l.. Kelsey-Traflic Mgr.