The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-09-03

ohe-So you think that men are
smarter than women, do you? He
some men, but not all. She-Weu
what men are smarter? He-Old bach.
elors.-Illustrated Bits.
What do you put on your face after
snaVingr asked the man who smelled
OF bay rum. Court plaster, usually"
replied the nervous chap, gloomlly.-
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Does your little girl know how to
spellr "Oh, dear no. That's so pie.
beian, and we expect her to marry
man who Is rich enough to let her
have an amanuensls. Chicago Post.
Have you heard about the latest in.
surance company" mo; what is ltY'
why, it's one that promises to pay all
mony to both parties in case the mar.
rage proves allure."-Detroit Free
Press.
Miss Yane-Some one told me to-day
that was the handsomest girl in our
street. Miss Speitz-Oh, that's not in
durable! Miss Vane-What do you
mean3 Miss Speitz-Your habit OF
talking to yourselfl
Baxter-We had some fine music at
the concert last night Caxton-I
thought you didn't enjoy high-class
music. Baxter-Oh. l didn't enjoy IT.
that's why l know it must have been
high class.-Boston Transcript
Augustus (no longer the youthfuD-
Well. there's one comfort; they say at
40 man is either a fool or a physi-
clan. Angelina (nearly swallowing a
yawn)-And are you a physician, theni
Augustus-No. Angelina-Ohl
Used to It.-Tommy was visiting a
neighbor's At dinner the hostess apol-
ogized to him because the table linen
was soiled at his plate. "Oh' that's
nothing" he assured her. promptly;
"ours Is worse'n that at home."-
Brooklyn Life.
THAT land said the city nephew, is
valued at $500 front foot" 'Thun-
derationP' exclaimed the old farmer,
hastily moving back on to the side
walk. "And l stood on it most five
minutesl Do you reckon they'll charge
me rentT-Chicago Post.
Among a number of notes received
by a teacher in excuse for the absence
was the following: Dear Teacher;
/ Kindly excuse Minnie for having been
} absent yesterday, as she fell in the
mud on her way to school. By doing
the same, you will oblige, Her Mother"
, They had been engaged a long time
, and one evening were reading the
/ paper together. Look. look" he ex
claimed. "only fifteen dollars for a sui
of clothesr' els 1t a wedding suitT
she asked. looking naively at her lover
"Oh. nor he replied. at is a business
suit" "well, l meant business" sh'
replied.
A military officer went downtown
= with his little daughter one morning
Before long the little lady found hersel
unable to keep up with her father
swinging stride. and she was obliged :
I cry a halt. please. pa" she said'
: would like you not to walk so lasl
for can't keep up with you. Can
Won walk nice and slow like a police
. manT
"A woman can't keep secret" de
c,ares the mere man. "Oh, don
know" retorts the huttery woman
ave kept my age a secret since wa
9 "a" eyes; but one Of these days yo
= viii give II away. In time you WI
!. samnly have to tell it." "Well, tnin
d that when a woman has kept secre
/, for twenty years she comes pretty "eA
9 knowing how to keep it."-Judge'
= ;; During the late Boer war, just atte
4, tho fall of Bloemfontein, soldiers wer
u called upon. owing to the scarcity
y o,v,l,ans to work the railway. III
II weary men were lying In camp Oh
night. after hard days work. "nen
osceant called out: ANY OF you WIS
80 nut your name down as railway POI
a 80 drivers. stokers, guards, or an
20 49, onnointment connected with IN
" .oi,wavY' The silence was broken ON
nores Then one Of the men SLOW
: lv raised his head. Put me uo"N "
- a sleeperrr he shouted dro"si'y'
4 curious and ABUSING mixture
ar,v niety and worldliness came
u.ht in a city school room one ia
when the teacher had asked tue e 81,
dren to write on their pads OF pap'
sansthing about the profession or O.
nat,on in which they would IKE
paas when they became men an
n,eu One little girl wrote orlen
hnt srrectiyely, 81 would desire to be
uu s. -,der at a circuss If it was I'll
lords will" Another little g,r, VIZ
equally mixed ideas wrote. "Mls i1oa
ary. but If not that, millinery or eiei
a. candy store"