The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-03-06
HE DISCUSSES THE WAR
NEWS OF THE DAY.

,JAIELL. what's the news from the
wv war in the east this morn
ing?" asked Mr.. Brief, as the
idiot put his paper aside and applied
The Poets butter to the steaming pile
of buckwheat cakes before him.
Both sides are advancing rapidly
in opposite directions. apparently" re-
piled the Idiot. General Kutzi- Kutzi
has been repulsed by the Russians at
Cshskotzy with tremendous loss of life
owing TO his having mistaken d bazaar
cut-out pattern for a road map of ST.
IBERIA. Colonel Demijonhivitz has been
driven out Of Port Mkt Novgotinko bv
a regiment Of Japanese Rough Riders.
and the car has been kidnapped by the
retiring Japanese ambassador. He is
held for ransom. the price fixed for his
return being 100. 000, 600 rubles. G. o. D..
Korea, Nladivostok. and a complete set
of TUlstOi. The last is considered the
most important event Of the war up
10 date"
What on earth are you talking
about?" demanded the Lawyer.
The war III the east. of course. 80
said the Idiot. Wasn't that what
you asked about2 ] certainly under
stood you that way"
We'll, I did, but ] didn't ask for oil
that folderol you have given us" said
Mr.. Brief, with gesture of con-
. temUt.
I'm giving you the best and most
authentic war news l have. retOrted
the Idiot IF you think it is folderol
I'm very sorry. but / can't help il.
What's more, I'm blest II l think the
kidnapping Of so important a figure
ha of
and Asia as II. 7. NJ. the Gar Of Rus
STA can be set down as folderoi On
the contrary, it is a very grave and
serious matter. To think that such a
thing as that can be done in broad
daylight in the face Of all the pre-
cautions taken 70 safeguard the per-
son OF his most sacred majesty is APP
palling. If a bunch of Japs can run
of with a car. guarded as he is night
and day. what might not happen to a
private citizen if some enemy wanted
10 get him in the tOils?"
You mean TO tell me that this thing
has happened?" persisted Mr.. Brief
That is the most important item Of
information that / find in my war news
this morning" said the idiot. 1T
seems that prior to taking his depar-
ture from St. Petersburg Baron Dor
matzu. the representative Of the mi
kado in Russia. called to pay his adieus
to the car at the Nitzi palace. He
and his private secretary. Mr.. Taka-
hacka, were closeted with his majesty
for thirty-ive minutes, at the end OF
which time it was announced that Mr..
Takahacka had tainted and would have
TO be carried out The car himself
gave the order for the stretcher. Tacka-
hacka was carried out and delivered
at the japanese embassy, only "a
wasn't the real Takahacka- The un-
conscious man was the car himself.
while the car who gave the order was
Tackahacka. The three have since dis
. appeared. but the czarina last night
found a short note pinned on her pile
low sham stating that her husband was
we'll. and on his way 10 Japan. but
would be returned upon the terms
have already stated TO you. That's all
I know about IL. and you can call il
folderol or not, just as you. please II
you don't like my war news, don't ask
me for 1t. Send 10 the grocer's for 4
cents worth next time, or let the milk