The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-12-18

f a building that was big as a lot of exposition buildings, and the servants took us in charge and walked us through long rooms covered with pic- lures as big as side show pictures at a circus, but instead of snake cnarmers
 and snakes, and wild men of Borneo. and sword 'swallowers, the kings pie
 lures were about war, and women with out much clothes on from the belt up Gosh, but some of those pictures made you think you could hear the roar of battle and smell the gun powder, ahd dad acted as though he wanted to git right down on the marble floor and dig a rifle pit big enough to git into
 They walked us around like they do when you are being initiated into a
 secret society, only they didn't sing
 Here comes the Lobster" and hit you
 with -e--dried bladder. The servants
 that were conducting us laffed. I had
 never seen an EnglishInan laff before
 and 1t was the most interesting thing I was in London. Most Englishmen look sorry about something. as though
 some dear friend died every day, and their faces seem to have grown that way. So when they laff it seems as though the wrinkles would stay there, unless they treated their faces with | massage. They were laughing at
 dads dislocated calf. and his scared ap- pearance, as though he was going to receive the thirty second degree, and didn't know whether they were going to throw him over a precipice or pull him up to the roof by the hind legs. We passed a big hall, clock. and 1t struck just when we were near it, and
 of all the "hark from the tombs'' sounds I ever heard, that clock took
 the cake. Dad thought 1t sounded like n~4 hav vyn Ia Al comed the turning in of a fire alarm
 as sound that meant life everlasting,
 beside the doleful sound.
 After we had marched about three | mile heats, and passed the chairs of the | noble grand and the senior warden, and the exalted ruler. we came to a bronze door as big as the gate of a cemetary,
 and the grand conductor gave us a
 few instructions about how to back
 out fifteen feet from the presence of the king, when we were dismissed. | and then he turned us over to a little
 man who was a grand chambermaid, understood the fellow to say. The door opened. and we went in, and dads
 misplaced calf was wobbling as though he had locomotor attacks-ye.
 well. there were dozen or so fel-
 lows standing around, and they all had | on some kind of uniforms, with gold
 badges on their breasts, and in the
 midst of them was little, sawed off
 fat. fellow, not taller than five feet six, but perfect picture of the cigar
 advertisements of America fer a cigar
 named after the king. I expected to see king as big as Long John Went worth, of Chicago. a great big fellow that could take a small man by the col | lar and throw him over a house. and I felt hurt at the small size of the king | Of Great Britian, but, gosh, he is just
 like Yankee, when you get the for | mality shook off.
 We bowed and dad made. a courte-
 sy, like an old woman, and the king | came forward with a smile that ought | 10 De initiated by every Englishman. | They all initiate his clothes and his
 hats and his shoes, but he seems to be
 the only Englishman that smiles. May
 De It Is patented, and nobody has a
 right to smile without paying a royal ty, but the good -natured smile of King
 Edward is worth more than stomach
 bitters. and the English ought to be
 allowed to copy it. There is no more
 solemn thing than q party of English men together in America, unless if Ia
 a party of speculators that arc shon on wheat, or gathering of defeated
 politicians when the election returns
 come in. But the king is as jolly as
 though he had not a note coming due
 at the bank, and you would think he
 was good. common citizen, after
 working hours, at a round beer table
 with two schooner loads in the hold
 ana another schooner on the way
 arotning over the top of the stein 'Ihat IS the feeling I had for the king