davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Don't Use Stimuiants.

You need bracer or strengthcner at
this this time of the year, but you do not
want to be left with the depressing effects
which follow the use Of stinulants. AS q
tonic or purifier, there is nothing better
than Dr. Caldwell's Naxative) Syrup Pep
sin, which acts gently, but effectually, on
the liver, kidneys, stomach and bowels.
Don't take the nostrums which are adver-
tised under the name of Sarsaparillas,
Blood Purifiers, etc. Not one in ten con-
tains single grain OF the genuine Sarsa-
parilla Root or Potassium Iodide. Take
only DIR. Caldwell's Gaxative) Syrup Pep
sin, which is sold by your druggist in 5Oc
and LOO bottles.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Their Opinion Of Babies.

When Mark Twain, nursing his first
born. was asked by friend If he loved
II. he drawled, in reply: Il don't ex'
actly love it, butt respect it," DR..
Johnson was of somewhat the same
opinion. for when Boswell asked what
he would do IL he were shut up in a
castle with a newborn infant the doc
TOR confessed he should prefer soil
tude. When Charles Lamb was asked
how he liked babies he made stutter'
ing answer, Madam, like them
b-b-oiled."
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
:sSssssN[ E~7uE'
~ a @lll.JIw
Something Needed.

eve are about to put new piano
on the market that we are sure will
fill q long-felt want" said the manu-
facturer.
what will you call it,"
1--WE shall call it the Cozy Flat
Piano"
''Why?"
Because it's about twice as high ss
an ordinary piano, but only about half
it's thickness; just right for a cosy
fat"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
cIuDman Makes distinction.

Sir William Harcourt is said to have
remarked. when he was offered a
peerage: II prefer to remain an Eng
fish gentleman" II calls TO MIND
the London clubman who put up "A
placard asking "the nobleman" who
he'd taken his umbrella to return 1t.
Asked why he thought nobleman had
taken it. he replied: This club is for
uobIemen and gentlemen, and am
sure nc gentleman took it,"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

By local applications IA they cannot reach the dis
eased portion Of the ear. There Is only one way TO
cure deafness and that by constitutional remedies.
Deafness Is caused by an infamed condition of the
mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this
tube ia lnnamed you have arumbling sound or inl-
perfect hearing and when IL is entirely closed, Dear
ness f. the result and ulless the Inflammation be
taken out and this tube restored 10 its normal cOnd
ton, hearing win be destroyed forever; nine cases
out of ten are caused by atarrh, which Is nothing
but an characterization OF the mucous surfaces.
We Will give Ore Hundred Dollars for any case of
Deafness Caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars free.
+. J. CHENEY d CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, Use.
Take Halra-Eainily Pills for constipation.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
saItncss of Dead sea.

Mr.. Ackroyds, in his report OF the
Palestine exploration fund, says that
the saltEess of the Dead Sea can not
he fully explained by the accumulation
Of salt from Palestine rocks or by its
originally being an arm of the Rec
sea. He produces evidences to show
that it is largely from the atmos
pheric transportation of salt from
the Mediterranean.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
To Clean Smoky Walls.

Brush the walls well, then wash
with a strong solution of pearl ash and
rinse at once with clear water. Then
give the walls when dry thin coat OF
fresh slaked lime, with considerable
alum dissolved in hot water adGed
After this has dried apply whiting and
good size.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Objects to Sending Paupers.

A bishop whose diocese includes one
of the slum districts of London, pro-
tested at charity organization meet
ing against sending any OF the "un'
employed" to Canada. He declared
that they had neither brains nor tena'
city or character to contribute to any
industry in which they might he en-
gagged.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
criminality of Professors.

A French professor has been inquir-
ing into the comparative criminality
OF the professions. He finds that the
conviction for every 100000 of each
are as follows Lawyers, 100; art. SITS
thirty-three; doctors, Twenty-Five; lay
teachers, nineteen; clerical teachers
seven; Catholic clergy, four.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Graphic Descriptions.

Little Margie had been to the cca.
lists to have a tooth extracted, and
this is how she explained the pre-
ceedings:
1.-THE man grabbed hold with pair
of big tongs and pulled his best, and
Just before it killed me the tooth came
out. Exchange.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Nubian WhistIinq Tree.

Among the curiosities of tree life l.
the sofar, or whistling tree, of Nubip
When the winds blow over this tree 4
gives out flute-like sounds, playinc
away to the wilderness for hours at {
time strange, weird melodies.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
The Beuinninl.

There" said the man who intended
become great, Il have finished my
autobiography. 1t is full of anec-
otes of an ordinary sort. Now
1ust get to work and do something
o that the book will be a delight to
cultured minds
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Poor Mrs. Wooohy.

so you're little Willie Woodby?"
said the new minister after Sunday
school. Il called to see your mother
yesterday, but, unfortunately, she was
not at home"
ooh, yes, she was" replied the boy.
"But / guess she took you for the in
stalment man. You look somethin'
like him
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Deadly sleenina Sickness.

One popularity OF the sleeping sick
ness, which is causing much havoc
among the natives Of Uganda, is that
for a year or longer the victim may
seem perfectly well, and often the dis
ease makes itself first known by un'
the patient, who, instead of sleepins
due signs of exaltation on the part OF
is very much awake.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Happy West Indian Bodies.

The West Indian negroes allow their
babies to romp about in the open air
IL day long, almost. If not entirely
limbs as much as they like. and it
oesnt matter how dirty they get.
Consequently they are the happiest
abes in the world.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
a Foolish Move.

"You seem nervous and restless this
morning" said Merchant.
yes" replied his partner Il asked
Borroughs to drop in to-day and pay
ne what he owes me-"
"Ah And you're afraid he won't
Gomez"
I'm afraid he will come and borrow
more"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Jews in Russia.

There arc at present over 10000
ews in Russia. 1t is estimated that
ince the Laws OF May" more than
10000 of them have been driven out
the villages and compelled to in
rease the overcrowding in the ghet'
IS Of the cities.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Number of Visible Stars.

IF we ask a person to estimate the
number of stars on a clear night,
says Houzeau, 1--WE shall have an ex-
aggerated answer, the actual number
only being little over $1,000"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
axe EaikaI.

Lake Baikal. the holy sea" is, g.
repting Victoria Nyanza. in Africa. tn
largest lake in the Eastern 2mi
sphere. 1t is 300 feet deep. its bot
tom being 1,600 feet below sea level
and in area corresponds to LAKE Mich
gan.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
jumped the Fill.

"At what. hotel did you put up when
you were in that town." asked a cas-.
ual acquaintance.
None" replied the deadbeat.
Didn't stop at a hotel. eh?"
ooh, yes. | stopped at one, but ]
didn't put up"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Wealth..

as there much poverty here?" ask.
ed the stranger.
81 should say not" replied the
Arkansas farmer. why, we took
stock census last month, an there was
as much as half q shoat for every man
in the county"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Excuse for Getting Drunk.

A London magistrate has discov
cred the occasion on which n ma'
may become intoxicated without dis
grace. This is when he visits de-
fist who does not provide an anes
thetic.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
SEND THIS NOTICE TO-DAY

TO the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Crosse, Wis, with Sc stamps for mail
ing. and get their big cataiog, fully de-
scribing this great Hay Press, so also
hundreds OF tools and thousands of va
rieties OF Farm and Vegetable Seeds.
(W. ~. W
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Homeless.

I.enders-See here! How about
that SO you owe me? You promised
to mail it to me last Friday.
Spenders-Well, I'll tell you.
started to raise it but then | remem
bered that even if | did scrape it to-
gether l didn't have a stamp. So
couldn't send it,
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
PunX Man.

Man is the weakest of all animals
in proportion to size. and if he had
the comparative intelligence of an ant
for instance. schools and teachers
would be q useless luxury.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Early Use of Sugar Cane.

Sugar cane was used as early as
325 b. c. II was forgotten afterward
and did not come into common use IN
Europe until the seventeenth century.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

Out of suffering have emerged the
strongest souls: the most massive
characters are scanned with scars
Rev. L.. III. Chaplin.
A father may disinherit his children,
but he can't disinhcrit the lawyers,
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
DUSTY want work.
Proprietor-What can you do?
Dusty-Nothin'.
Proprietor-Oh! | do that myself
Then He Kicked,

Glass Eater-The midget said he
wanted everything small. The small
est bed, the smallest cups and the
smallest chair.
Wild Man-What is he kicking about
now?
Glass Eater-The manager gave him
the smallest salary.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

Teacher whipped you for your
own good; / really did. Now, tell me
what you think about it?
Bobby-If l told you what | think
you'd give me another licking.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Has Few Workina DAYS.

The Russians saints day and i'm
perial fete dates are so numerous
that he works not more than twenty.
one days i'm month.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Hand Power HAY Press $500.

Greatest, simplest. best invention Of
the age. A boy can make regular
sized 14X1SX48 in. bales like fun, and
two boys can bale three tons per day
easily
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Cost to Traction Companies.

The average cost for carrying q
passenger ON the street railways o'
tho United States is % cents.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

If a man has no master greater than
himself his service must always be de-
grading.
There are no graduates from the
school of grace.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

lam sure Piso's Cure for Consumption saved
my life three years ago.-Mrs. THos. Robbins
Maple Street, Norwich. N. Y, Feb. IL, 1900.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

- perTna nently cured. TO fts nervousness aftcr
- lrst G1ys DR.. Klines Great Nerve RestOr-
or SEND for fR uki So 90 trial bottle and treatise.
ILL., L. Il kLn,E Id, "a Arch Street, Philadelphia Pa
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
On the Bathing Beach.

Judging by Ewes costume" he
said thoughtfulIy, "the Garden of Eden
must have been the original seaside
resort"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

u TpBhN~ > VII t4<aO-N tIAsA bEUb
Won't spill, break, freeze nor spot clothes
Costs 10 cents and equals 20 cents worth OF
any other bluing. If your grocer does not
keep IL send Ice for sample to The Laundry
Blue Co., IA Michigan Street, Chicago.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

The brave man is not afraid Of be-
ing called coward
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

II you wish beaut,. u, clear, white clothes
use Red Cross Ball Blue. Large OF.
package, cents.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
NyJuoIcsS1lcI, LAUyDaY UE.UE

No, Cordelia, a barnacle isn't &
tramp who sleeps in a barn.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Mahogany From Africa.

The United States imported from
Africa within a year S1.S27 900 of ma
hogany. This $4,000 tons of freight.
in the absence of direct line, was
shipped via Liverpool.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

He offends mercy who depends on
merit
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07
Submarine TOYS.

Clockwork submarines are tho q
voritc toys in Europe at present
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

There are no places for spectators in
lifes grand game.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

Carpets can be colored on the floor
with PUTNAM FADELESS DYES.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

You cannot kick back and pull for
ward
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

The self-sacrihcing arc never self
satisfied.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

The gambling woman uses GODS
faifest gifts for the deviIS foulesG
gains.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

The enlarged soul will not be swol-
len with conceit.
Work alone gives value to rest.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

For children teething, softens the gums reduces f.
lannat.on aays pain, wind collie. 25c bottle.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1904-05-07

II Cures Colds, Coughs, Sore Throat Group, Infln-
enza, Whoopng Cough. Bronchitis and Asthma.
A certain cure for Consumption in fret stages,
first dose. Sold by deaers everywhere. Large
bottles 20 cents and 80
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1904-09-15
kaufmal1 on
CreamerieS
Continued from page 1.

creamery than if the contract is
let to someone from Minnesota
or Iowa.
Now is the time to send in ap-
, plications for farmers Institutes
Don't wait until it is too late and
then blame the institute board
for what you don't get. In order
to save time and travelling expen-
SEES the Institutes in certain parts
OF tho state must be grouped as
much as possible. and when that
part Of the state has been cover
ed it is useless to make applica-
ton. For that reason it is abso-
l1te]y necessary that all applica-
tons be filed early in order that
they may be properly considered
Nothing will help the home
creamery better than an institute
l am surprised that the officers
Of every creamery in the state
hevenjt already filed their apple
ations. The institute board de-
sires to treat all sections fairly,
and if they don't know that you
want an institute how can they
give your town proper consider
alton? A word to the wise should
be sufficient; but sometimes it is
necessary to use q good many
words. Respectfully yours,
e. E. Kaufman,
Assistant Dairy Commissioner.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1904-09-15
TOOK HIM AT HIS WORD.
Started the Impudent Negro on the
Way to the Man at Wash
, ington.

The following story is told of the
mate of an English bark lying in
port:
The vessel was unloadingin Nor
folk and the mate ordered one OF
the sailors, a negro, to execute an
order, relates the Baltimore Sun
The negro was somewhat slow il
carrying out the order and the
mate cursed him roundly, as mates
often do. TO the mates astonish
ment the negro, who was a new
hand, stopped short in his task and
said:
"Don't yo' talk ter he dat way.
man. Yo' amt in Englan' now
Dis is er collud mans country, en-
acre's a man at Washington who
looks out fo' us folks"
The next moment the mate
swept down upon the negro like a
tidal wave, seized him by the col.
lar and afterpeak of his trousers
and threw him over the rail into
the water.
AS the negro came to the surface
spluttering and kicking the mate
roared at him from the deck
above:
"1ou blankety blank blank!
Now, you just swim down the
James river, turn to your right and
go up the Potomac to Washing.
ton and tell that man there all
about it."
The negro did not act on the ad.
vice of the mate, however, but
swain ashore and tried unsuccess.
fully to get a warrant for the
mates arroa+
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1904-09-15
re WAS A REAL FARMER.
Touk a Practical View Of the Calling
and Left the Poetic Side
to Others.

20, yes" a man in the hotel lob
by was overheard to say. "I'm a
real farmer now. My farm only
costs me about $75 per month now.
so you can see Pm getting along"
Then the man was heard to COM
ment upon farm labor, reltaes
the Dallas (Tex.) News.
otis all right to talk about the
poetry Of farm life" he said, "but
if farm life is poetry I want the
prosiest sort of prose in mine. Is
there any poetry in greasing har.
ness? Do you find any rhyme
and rhythm in milking a double
jointed, back-action COW twice a
day? Well, l guess not"
"But there's the scenery" his
companion interjected, "and the
smell Of the grain"
eyes," said the amateur farmer,
"and the chiggers and the red
bugs, and the holes in the fence,
and rats in the seed corn, and the
potatoes sprouting. And if you
are through blowing for awhile
and haven't anything better to do
you can fix the wheelbarrow for
recreation, or you can see that the
pen is made hog proof or that the
water trough doesn't leak toe
much.
"Then If everything else fails
and it's too rainy to do anything
else, you can get out a secondhand
kit and fix the crupper to the har'
ness, or nail strips of boiler plate
on the feed box so that crib.eate1
CT a plug won't have too many
splinters in him when he dies. o,
you can bet I'm too much of farm,
er to look at the poetic side of it,
I'm a realistic farmer, that's What
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1904-09-15
TAKING CHANCES IN LIFE.
Audacity in Many Instances Has Won
More for a Man Than
Prudence.

"When you are in doubt, jump
said an ex-member of the First
Louisiana, the other day, relates
the New Orleans Times-Democrat.
''The longer live the more / come
to the conclusion that audacity
wins much more for a man than
prudence. l see friends who were
unable to nerve themselves to
take chances. They are poor. The
reckless fellows who have gone
into enterprises on amere venture
are well-to-do men.
''Imagination makes almost
every venture risky. If a man in
such a contingency will simply
throw away all hesitation and
jump he will find nine cases out Of
ten that he is not hurt and that the
jump has done a great deal toward
toning up his moral nature. / re-
member an instance in Miami.
This was but a slight thing, but it
illustrates my point.
"At the Port Palm hotel, to
which the soldiers had access,
there was a first-class natatorium.
1t was rugged up with all sorts Of
contrivances-polcs to slide down,
chutes to dive from. Most of the
men were content to dive from Il
slight elevation, or to lie down in
the chute and come whizzing from
the roof into the water. Finally,
one man, evidently an experienced
diver, climbed to an elevation on
the roof of the building, and, call
ing for those to move away from
below, made the high dive.
".All the men looked upon it as a
piece of daring. The water at the
foot was only about eight or nine
feet deep, the bottom being con,
crete. l determined that I would
try to make the dive. If one man
could do it another could. Calmly
/ started up the ladder, but when
| reached the top and looked
down my calmness deserted me.
was scared, but l determined to
make the dive and l climbed to the
further elevation. When l stood
up preparatory to leaping l felt
my legs shaking; so in order not to
attract attention l pointed my
head and arms downward, as if |
had been making the dive all my
life, and jumped.
GAS soon as l was sure that
had gone and there was no getting
back my shakiDess left, and l was
able to command my muscles, 50
as to make the quick turn as soon
as l reached the water. l barely
missed the bottom, but when
came up my comrades told me that
| had been an ass, Tut that l had
nerve to make the jump. AS a mat.
ter OF fact l was frightened, but
jumped. They could have jumped,
too, and come out as safely, but
they simply did not care to make
the attempt. My own imagination
had made the risk much greater
than u w.:.
ne WAS A REAL FARMER.
Eouk a Practical View Of the Calling
a Z al A.. Dali. e:i
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1904-09-15
Range Beaf Values Scar


Western cattle sold this week
at 2O@35c higher prices than was
paid last week, and clearances
were effected daily with very lit !
tie effort say Rappal Bros. g. Go.
of Chicago, in q special letter to
the Pioneer under date of Sept.
10, an they advise as follows:
Rec. $ for the last four days
were 12,500, and buyers bought
up the supplies freely at the adj
vanced price. North Dakota
steers averaging 1880 lbs. sold
ut S4.72, with others at 81. 80, and
some Montana at S4.15. Good
1880 Id. Montana, Wyoming and
Dakota steers sold at $3.55@3.85
with a palmer class at $3.10@
$50, and common and rough
kinds down at $2.75. Range COWS
sold mostly at s.. 70@2.85, with
best up to $3.50 and feeding
steers at S3.15@3.45, and a few
fancy dehorns made S3.50@3.80.
Again that famous and justly
celebrated cattle and sheep king
Oscar Stephens of Fort Maginnis
Mont, was on this market. On
Monday Rappal Bros. & Co. sold
Mr.. Stephens train load Of cat
tie, consisting of twenty-three
cars. The strong demand for
Gamers and cutters this week in.
dicates conclusiyely that packing
town is again running at well
nigh full blast, and that the
stocker and feeder market freed
from the shackles Of congestion,
will more than hold it's own in
the way of stiff prices now that
the strike is settled. AS a crit
erion Of what may be expected
we again call our readers atten-
ton to the fact that this weeks
stocker and feeder market was
10000 higher than last weeks
close.
So far there has been practic-
ally nothing in climatic conditions
to nullify the promise of an ex-
ceptional crop Of corn. From
portions OF the northwest there
have come q few complaints OF
the nights butin the great corn
states, conditions have been fav-
orable and in Kansas the outlook
is so bright that the Kansans are
preparing to hold next week the
Corn Festival which is usually
inspired by the prospect Of a
bumper yield. ! hree weeks OF
more are still required to place
the corn beyond danger Of frosts
which may reasonably be expect
ed, but it should be remembered
that with the passing of each
day no little portion of the grow
ing crop is removed from this
menace and that it is safe to as
that at least one-third Of the crop
is never exposed to it at all.
Every day OF hot weather from
now on means thousands of
dollars of profits to the range
beef producing country y.
The Hope pioneer. [volume] (Hope, N.D.) 1882-1964, 1904-09-15

creamery than if the contract is
let to someone from Minnesota
OF Inwa.