Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-08-13
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forget your &, Willie. Willie PEBBLES
zee. the horse was gOin-.-Puck-
Prepared Bedad, the mkt automo-'
ooboist who runs over me will be sor-
~ for it, 0lu bet yez." "Why?''
'oi've can Nv nitroglycerin in livery
pocket Life.
Local Oracle-know t Dock o.
Rlankshire? Ay. l dare says l knows
i'm better than any one in these parts.
Woy, my darter married one o is sta
bic 'ands. Scraps.
1t serves her good aad right" How
now;' "She became engaged ON Fri
day aud married on the 18th" 'Well?'
We'll. now she can't get divorced
New York Evening sun.
She-So you think that men are
smarter than women. do you? He
Some men. but not all. She-Well.
what men are smarter? He--Old bach
alors. Illustrated Bits
What do you put on your face after
shavingE asked the man who smelled
OF bay rum. Court plaster, usually"
replied the nervous chap, gloomily.--
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Does your little girl know how TO
spellT "Oh. dear no. That's so pie
beian, and we expect her Ia marry
man who is rich enough to let her
have an amanuensis" Chicago Post.
Have you heard about the latest In
surance company? mo; what is IT,"
why, it's one that promises to pay ali
mouy to both parties in case the mar
riage proves failure, detroit Free
Press.
Miss Naue Some one told me to-day
that | was the haudsomest girl In our
street. Miss SpeitZ-Oh. that's not in
durable, Miss Vane-What do you
mean? Miss Speitz Your habit OF
talking TO yourself.
Baxter We had some fine music mt
the concert last night, Caxton-~I
thought YOU didn't enjoy high-class
music Baxter oh, didn't enjoy 1t;
that's why know it must have been
high class, Boston Transcript
Augustus ono longer the youthful
Well, there's one comfort; they say at
80 man Is either fool or a physi-
| elan. Angelina (nearly swallowing "A
yawm are you physician, then2
| Augustus No Angelina-Oh!
Used to Tommy was visiting a
neighbours At dinner the hostess apol-
ogizcd to him because the table linen
was sollcd at his plate. oh that's
nothing" he assured her promptly;
ours is worsen that at home. -
Brooklyn Life.
THAT land. said the city nephew, is
valued at $500 front foot" "rhun-
| deraton" exclaimed the old farmer
hastily moving back on to the side
walk And | stood on it most five
minutes. DO you reckon they'll charge
me rent?''-O Chicago Post.
| Among number OF notes received
| by teacher in excuse for the absence
was the following: Dear Teacher:
| Kindly excuse Minnie for having been
absent yesterday as she fell in the
| mud ON her way to school by doing
the same, you will ohlige. Her Mother"
They had been engaged Il long time,
aud one evening We're reading the
paper together. Look. look" he eX-
claimed. only fifteen dollars for suit
Of clothes" is 1t II wedding suit"
she asked, looking nalvely at her lover.
"Ob no. he replied. at is a business
suit" We'll. | meant business" she
replied.
military officer went downtown
with his little daughter one morning.
Before long the little lady found herself
unable to keep mp with her fathers
swinging stride, and she was obliged to
cry halt Please, pa she said, Il
would like you not TO walk so fast,
for can't keep NJ with you. Can't
you walk nice and slow Ike police
MANI
"A woman can't keep secret" de
clares the mere man. "Oh, don't
know" retorts the huttery woman;
I've kept my age "A secret since | was
"a" Yes; but one Of these days you
will give II away. In time you will
simply have to tell IT." well, think
that when woman has kept n secret
for twenty years she comes pretty near
knowing how to keep it."--Judge.
During the late Boer war, just after
the fall Of Bloemfonteln, soldiers were
called upon, owing to the scarcity Of
civilians. 10 work the railway. The
weary men were lying In camp one
night, after a hard days work, when
sergeant called out: Amy Of you wish
to put your name down as railway por-
ters. drivers. stokers, guards, or any
other appointment connected with the
railway" The silence was broken only
by shores. Then one of the men slow
ly raised his head. Put me down as
a sleeper" he shouted dnowsily.
A curious and amusing mixture Of
early piety and worldlness came to
! light in a city school room one day
when the teacher had asked the chill