The Black Hills union and western stock review. [volume] (Rapid City, S.D.) 1904-19??, 1904-06-17
OLD ALMANAC JOKES.
Collection Lately Presented to the Mis-
souri, Historical Society


souri, Historical Society.
ST. Louis Republic: A collection Of al
MANAGES has been presented to the Mis-
| Thomson Of near Columbia The altman
acs are los in number and date from 1895
| lp to the present time, there being one for
| Zach year Included In the collection are
! TWO volumes of the Western COmck AL
manack. published In Cincinnati, in 1884
| and 1885, by N. and G.. Guilford x Co. and
| Hubbard & Emmands
Although some of the earlier alnlana cs
| contain jokes and so-caled humorous an
| ecdotcS, these two volumes are the Oldest
books IN the library which are devoted eX-
| c!usiVciy TO Jokes. AS an aid in tracing
the ped!grees of prescnt-Gay jokes, the
volumes will prove invaluable
IN the almanac for 1904 quite a large
| space IL devoted to Original jokes, witty
| remarks and humorous anecdotes" Some
! Of the Jokes found in this number are still
answering, and have appeared in recent
humorous publications az original The
| jokes are not accompanied by any key or
chart but so as to make the humpr Of
the joke readily apparent to the reader
they are all published under headings OF
hunor' ard the parts of the anecdotes
supposed TO be funny were printed III
italics. Some of the jokes which were
LHou6Hl thttpllDHduy ROOu were printed
under the head Very Funny"
There Is nothing to indicate the author
ship of any of the jokes. Some Of the
very funny" jokes which appear In the
almanac OF 1904 were as follows:
"A dull judge OF the inferior courts of
4 sister state, having attended to va
riety of causes in the morning went to
dine at friends mouse with most ex-
Ccllent appetite. Among the company
10 GA
very heartily of dish Of salmon, OBJ
served that he had filled himself so full
that he ncedcd hopping
Your honor is much more In want of
heading, replied the witty barrister."
y professor, lecturing on heat, Oh
served that one of It's most conspicuous
properties was the power Of expanding
all bodies. humorous student rose in
his seat ana asked: Is that the reason
the days in warm weather are longer than
those in co!d?'"
"Mr. Mare and Mr. Fox had apartments
in the same house and each had frequent
visits from the bai!iMs. One morning, as
he was looking cut Of his window, Mr..
Fox saw two of them at tie door Pray,
gentlemen says he, are you Fox hunt
Ing or Hare hunting this morning.?
In newly raised corps a soldier late
y observed to his comrade. who was an
freshman, that corporal was to be dis
missed from the regiment. Faith and in
deed, said the lrisnman, 4 hope 1t Is the
corporal who Is SO troublesome IN our
company What Is his name? replied
the other Why. corporal punishment. to
be sure. replied Pat
"A person who could not read a syllable
look up newspaper In a New York cof-
fec house, and. holding 1t upside down.
pretended to pcruse the ship advertise
ments on the first page with great atten
ton What news?' inquired a bystander.
There has been Il great storm in the West
Indies replied the reader, the vessels are
all upset."
"A country squire asked Merry An
drew why he was playing the fool. For
the same reason you do, said he, out of
want. You do 1t for want of wit, l for
want of money.
The jokes which appear in the almanacs
OF 1884 and 1885 are illustrated with comic
pictures, most of which are highly exag-
gcrated carcaurcs. Some of the Jokes.
humorous remarks, puns and witticisms
which were perpetratcd in the western
COmick Almanacll' in 1884 and which
have not yet outiivcd their usefulness, are
the following:
"As broker was folding some bank
bills. a wag observed: You must grow rich
fast. I perceive you readily double your
money"
"A poor country hawker being detected
in the act of shooting butcher bird, was
taken before n justice. SO. fellow. cried
the justice, you see fit to shoot without
a license, do you?' on no, your honor
said the offender: l. have a license for
hawking. So saying, he handed his ped
dler's license, and the bird shot being a
hawk, he was discharged"
when Mr.. Alexander Gun was dis
charged from the Edinburg custom house
the entry made against his name was A
Gun, discharged for making false re-
port
a doctor and the undertaken met:
They spoke of Illness, fees OF trade and
debt;
And well they might, for such a dismal
day
Never was known for coughs and deaths
Parting in fog they both exclaimed to-
gcther,
Good morning to We, this is rare coffin
weather..
'An undertaken, being asked what his
business was, replied: follow the ply
sician's profession"