Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-06-25

ing 10 tell lie, said Gregg to I,eRg.
How asked Legg. II see you open
your mouth" said Cregg.-Town
Topics
Old Gentleman ds small boy. who
Is nursing skinned knee)-Did YOU
fall down, little chap? Small Boy
Yer didn't think l fell up and dashed
agin cloud. did yer?
Barnes Tormer-I am in a auandary.
| have been offered an engagement by
two managers. and don't know how
to act Sue Brette-Wel don't worry.
They'll soon find Il out
And do you think" he asked. that
men progress after deathT' Well"
she replied, III they don't. it would
almost seem useless for some of them
To die."-Chicago Record.
Mother-Willie. what's Tommy cry
ing for? Wilie-Only because he
doesn't want to learn anything. l just
took his sweets and showed him how
to eat them, and he screamed.
Thomas. spell weather," said the
teacher Thomas Wi-a-e-t-h-t-h-i-
ear, Teacher-You may sit down,
Thomas, You've given us the worst
spell of weather we've had this year.
She-But IL you say You can't bear
the girl, why ever did you propose? He
Well. her people have always been
good to me and it's the only way
could return their 0spitallty.-Punch-
Miss Cutting That dog OF yours
seems TO be remarkably intelligent
Softleigh Yaws, indeed. law
could not begin TO tell you all he
knows. Miss Cutting No, of course
not.~-New Yorker
Ri22er~-I regret TO learn that your
son Reginald failed In his graduating
examination at Harvard. Buz2er--
Keggy could stand that II only his crew
had not been beaten in the boat race
Ohio state Journal
Gentleman ito man on horseback
Why, my man, how do you expect to
get that horse along with spur on
one side only? Horseman--Well, sir,
II gets that ere side to go, amt the
other bound to keep up?
What polite little hoy You are"
/ exclaimed Miss Anne Teek, "and do
you always take of your hat like that
when you speak to ladiesT' Nom"
replied the polite little boy, only old
/ ladies' '--Philadelphla Press
Il think I'll take this bracelet" said
lady whose husband had suddenly
amassed fortune. Are you sure it's
made Of refined goldY' ooh. yes" an
swered the jeweler Because do
detest anything that isn't refined" said
the lady.
The Uncle-Wel. here's the money
you've been bothering me for. Now,
remember the oil saying that "A fool
and his money are easily parted.
The Nephew don't know about
that. I've had 10 coax you for more
than week for this.
Il wonder why the .groomsman Mt
wedding is called the best man?"
qderIed the leap-year girl. Il suppose"
rejoined the old bachelor. 1T is be-
cause he has shown his superior In
telect in not posing ms the victim In
the tragedy. Chicago News.
She was city bred, aud had the usual
fear of COWS. Why she asked, when
the danger was past. did you take me
across this lotf' The small country
lad chuckled- II thought ii would be
fun" he said. ito see you try TO climb
tree" Then after another chucklc:
And 1t was. Philadelphia Ledger.
yes" said Mrs Wordsworth; the
family are most interesting John
dances diynely Tom sings like an an
gel, David Is II famous footballeT. Su-
.aunc paints with great taste" And
Henry oh Henry! Well, he's "a
rather dun sort Of n fellow, YOU know.
lie only works aud supports the 9th
ers"
John" said the bargaln-hunting
half of the matrimonial trust as they
sat ut the breakfast table Il wish You
would let me have $25 this morning"
MY dear replied the meek and
lowly husband, IL wish you would
break yourself OF the habit you have
Of dreaming that / married an heiress."
Tit Bits
Employer are having decided
Irritation with the girl who has charge
Of our telephone wire? Truthful Clerk
with cold chills running up and down
his spine, and with visions of instant
dismissaD-Y- e-e-s, sir; but please,
sir Employer-Well, keep IT up.
She will give more attention to our
calls II you do.
The small boy was having his face
bathei by a sister. who perhaps show
ed rather more enthusiasm in the mat
ter than was altogether necessary, for
the victim wriggled in her grasp. Let
me CO." he said gaspingly. when lie
had shaken off the folds OF the bit OF
Turkish towellng used for face cloth.
II can't see why you wash my face.
any way, | never use it,