The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-01-17

Since the days of Sheridan and his immor- +oi ,lov rThe Rivals" Mrs. Malaprop mas been A synonyme for the ignorant misuse or words. Yet how many people mere are to day In real life who, attempting me use VI words which are to them unfamiliar, err as prjeyously as she was wont to do. proper understa ndlng of words constitutes one oli- ference between the ignorant man and the educated man and gives the latter an im manse advantage The proper understand Ing of words makes for happiness intellectu- ally ana morally; it removes adendency 10 .root for trouble,, and enables asman to rise superior to the petty misunderstandings 10 which the Ignorant are liable
 This Ia admirably illustrated by a wth knovn incident in the life of Daniel oCon- nell inc famous Irish political agitator The story Is familiar but is well worth repeat Inc in this particular connection.
 There was in Dublin an old apple woman renowned throughout the city for her vlo- lent temper and for the vituperative genus with which she enforced her remarks When angry perfect flood of Billingsgate wouiu nour from her mouth on such occnsions aho if took very little to call 1t forth. otoh nell's friends made a wager With nm tnat in war of words with the old woman ne would be completely outdone, In spite or his wall known powers of oratory. He LOOK up the wager and on n certain day repaired "i,n bis. friends who had staked their money a1a4nqt him 10 tho NltiHlte Ut 'h' 'i,f ''~N. on,s annie cart This.sin an apparently oce1- dental way. he managed to upset. and was nssaiIed hy perfect torrent Of abuse. ne rotortcd In kind and the battle was on lne oId womans voluhility at first proved TOO nurh for O'Connel. and much to his tfiehus delight he seemed to be getting tne worst of If when the tide turned in his favor by bis calling her m '1sosceles triangle. That eoored hnr. but she was game to the last and e+iu fought on But when he called her "narallelopipedon'' her emotions oyercame her and she became speeches.. And so ne won. Her ignorance of the meaning of ordi- nary harmless words proved her undo'ng. for she read into these polvsyllables the most ortrareous meaninrs They were epithets for which she could find no equivalents.
 The misuse of words Is. of course. often source of much humor. and funny stories without number are told of modern Maia- nrons which outdo anything that that famous woman ever uttered There is a well known wealthy woman in Chicago 10 whom nre at trIhuted many humorous instances of this failing. The trouble with such people Is that they do not realize the danger and the folly of getting beyond their depth. and in thefr prandiIoouence they seek for words of which they have a very vague comprehension. The folly of 1t all in one sense is pathetic. but It is always humorous.
 The woman lust referred to once in talk. ing Of her young days. said: "Yes. was very fond of dancing Tn my girlhood. Tn fact fl was at fancy dress hall that first net my husband. remember 1t so well. He was so quaintIv dressed. He was in the oarbaro of monk" Had she stuck to the word 'dress." with which she was on easy terms she would not have made herself ridiculous. hut In Rroplng after the unusual she rot beyond her depth.
 The following is also accredited to the same woman. My daughter. you know" she said 'has been travelling in the East and cruising about the Levant." How dc lIghtful," exclaimed friend. And did she 20 to the DardanellesT' "Yes, indeed" was the reply. q think they asked her to dine with them"
 On another occasion. when some one took occasion to remark that it wns too bad her daughter was so delicate, she replied Mot at all: my daughter Is very indelicate. very"
 Another woman. a nouveau riche. had at once decided. upon the acquisition of wealth. that some of her money must be spent by her son In extended travelling. She would wax very enthusiastic upon the subject. "Yes!" she would say to her friends. My