The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-02-06
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The Infant Musician. "Has Hairo-
witch always shown a talent for
! music Z" Eyes; even as child he cried
every time his hair was life.
| CraWford-Women are never salts.
fed. rabshaw-That's so. My wife
begged me to get her a sealskin coat
and now she wants to 60 South for the
winter.
Perfect Happiness. "Do you really
believe there is such a thing in this
world as perfect happiness'?" "Of
course; but some other fellow always
has t."-Philadeiphia Ledger.
BPITAPH OF YE BOOK AGENT.
| Learned he was not, in so
Greek or Geography.
All he had studied was
Ought-to-buy-ography.
Lite. r
The Poets Meals. "I'm nearly fam.
lshed," sighed the garnet poet. "But
you told me you had two meals a day ~
said the friend. Eyes; oatmeal and
cornmeal."-Philadelphia Record.
"say, pa" queried little Billy,
| whats an echoT "An echo, my son."
replied the old man, with. sigh long
drawn out, 'is the only thing that can
him-fam a woman out of the last
word" 90:
He-Archibald saved the widow
from drowning, you know, but he
couldn't save himself. She-You sure
ly don't mean that he lost his life? He
Not exactly. The widow married
him
A Warning. Mifkins-That scouE-
drel, Jobson, called me an idiot! BIZ
kins-He didn't prove it, did her Milf
kins-No; but Bifkins-Then
I'd advise you let the matter drop, or
he might.-Chicago News. ....
Patron-I suppose the leading lady
is very happy after getting all those
bouquets. Usher-Oh, no. She only
got five. Patron-Gracious isn't that
enough? Usher-No; she paid for six,
I believe. Philadelphia Press.
The Mystery of It. II can't under
stan'," said Uncle Eben, "how it Is dat
some folks kin be too proud to work
an at de same time humble enough
to, let de family give 'em board an
lodgin' free. Washington Star.
Reversing the Order. Willie-Pa,
you don't get chestnuts until after
there's frost, do you? Pa-Except in
the case Of a farce comedy, my son.
Then the chestnuts come first, and the
frost afterward.- Philadelphia Press.
A Proud Lobster. Tommy Atkins
Aw! gwan, Mike, yer lobster! Mike
-Ye father me. Shure, Holsters a
wise animal; fur green Is the color fur
him as long as he lives, an he'll die
before he puts on red coat.-Philadel-
phia Press.
The Great Game of Chance. "But
why" asked the authorities, "are you
young women so interested in this
anti-gambling crusader" Because"
was the reply, '1f we succeed marriage
will be the only game Of chance left
open to the men, Chicago Post.
Working Both. CDR. Sharp ia quite
wealthy, isn't he? Did he make all his
money from his practiceT mot all Of
it. He's the principal owner Of a very
large oil we'll up the State, and-"
"And he makes money from the sick
and the well, too."-Philadelphia
Press.
Peace Assured. aren't there some
jealousies in your progressive euchre
club?" "No, indeed" answered young
Mrs. Torkins; when we buy prizes we
are always careful to select things that
no one really wants, 80 that the win.
ner will not be an object of envy
Washington Star.
Cause Of 1t. II haven't quite deter
mined" said the Charles Street father,
whether to have my daughters voice
cultivated here or abroad. What
would you suggest?" "OhW said the
obliging neighbor, abroad, by all
means'-and that's where it all start
ed.-Baltimore News.
"How's your motherT asked the
neighbor. worried to DEATH" an
swered the boy who was swinging on
the front gate. Fathers away hunt
ing, brother Bills gone to a political
convention, brother Jake's Joined a
football team, and the dressmaker Just
told mother that she'd look a fright in
mourning"
Mother-You can't stay in this hot
city. Why don't you tell your hus-
band you must 90 to summer resort ?
Bride-I-I don't dare Mother-Why
not? Bride-If he says no." will
be miserable because can't go, and If
he says YES" will be miserable be-
cause he can live without me--NeW
York Weekly.
"Gee-whizz" exclaimed the report
er, looking over his report of the wed
ding in the paper, "I'll bet that bride
groom will be sore" whats the mat
ter| asked the Snake Editor. He
owns an old family homestead out in
fho th11Ta