The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-05-28
KANSAS SCHOOL HISTORY.

The Washington Post has taken a
hand in the Kansas school history and
an editorial writer who is a master of
satire. gives the world the following
under the caption, General Funston
and the Bag-Bag:
In the interest of history it is COM
mendable of Gen. Funston to come out
in a detailed statement as to the facts
in the case of his swimming the Bag
Bag river. We must infer one of two
cases: Either Gen. Funston was i'm
PEELED to make the statement which
was telegraphed from Portland, Greg.
on Sunday night. from natural modesty
or the correspondent of the Kansas
City Star, who reported the case at
first hand, lost his head in the excite
ment of the moment and furnished the
American people with highly garnish-
ed piece of fiction. We prefer to con-
cede to the correspondent the credibiIity
which should sacredly attach to the
person of an eyewitness. If we must
renounce our faith at the caprice of
every hero who chooses to chafe and
fret under his laurels, we should soon
lose confidence in the Baron Munchau-
sen himself A thousand times rather
than disenchant ourselves in regard to
Gen. Funston and the swimming of the
Bag Bag under the heroic circumstan-
ces narrated at the time, we shall be-
lieve that Gen. Funston has grown
morbid from inaction and dull care in
connection with his present assign
ment, and under an undue impulse of
modesty has minimized his glorious
achievements in the Philippines.
We have Gen. Funston's word for it
that the enemy. which he routed with
forty-two guardsmen, numbered but
1000. To what extent Gen. Funston's
characteristic conservation enters into
the problem must remain a mooted
question. It is, however, safe to say
that if Gen. Funston places their num-
Der at 4,0O0 the Filipinos were concen-
trated in force of not less than twice
that number.
With the same modesty Gen. Fun
ston declares that the Bag Bag is "a
small stream about 100 feet wide" It
has been intimated at various times
that the Bag Bag. like the Arkansas
river of his native state, becomes dry
at certain seasons of the year, and that
it happened to be in that condition
when Gen. Funston swan it; though
this is obviously libel which refutes
itself 1t has also been stated by enc
jealousy, that Gen. Funston could not
swim at the time of his reputed feat
All such statements we disregard as
unworthy of serious attention we be-
Iieve that Gen. Funston could swim;
that the Bag Bag was full of water;
and that he performed all the daring
deeds with which he was credited at
the time.
Moreover. we believe Gen. Funston
has purposely stated the width of the
Bag Bag to be much less than it really
is One hundred feet represents the
width of an ordinary town street, which
the average school boy can cross in
a hop, a skip, and a jump. It would
be called a creek in these diggings, but
since the Bag Bag parades in the dig
nifty of a river. we know inductiveiy
that the Bag Bag, at the point that
Gen. Funston swan it, was at least
five times as wide as stated by him
The swimming of the Chesapeake and
Ohio canal by our troops in the civil
war would not have been considered a
performance which would have even
entitled the individual performer to be
placed on the pension rolls. and its