New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-18

art exhibition in Toxic, Japan: NO visitor
who is mad intoxicated is allowed to enter IN;
if any person found in shall be claimed TO retire
No visitor is allowed to carry in with himself any
parcel umbrella stick and the like kind. except
his purse and is strictly forbidden to take within
himself dog the same kind of beasts. Visitor
is requested to take of himself from thievely"
WONDERINGs.
I'm oft inclined to wonder If
An angleworm, when frozen stiff;
Would meet with any luck at all.
Surprising that 1t tried TO crawl
Then too I often wonder whether
A man who set about to tether
Ten tigers in field like cows
Could make the striped creatures browse
And then again. I wonder which
Is stickest9tar glue or pitch
Perhaps each, ali or either are.
But should say pitch, glue or tar.
And, Furthermore wonder why
A normal person such as
Some things never understand.
But most Of all wonder how
A man can tell just when is Now,
For Now keeps going back 10 Then
While Soon Is straightway Now again.
It's useless; Though thou n; to . w9nder . what
The puzzle department of London Truth recent
" called for competition in of round of
golf containing no letter "a" 'u." Here is a
good specimen from the many replies received;
know nothing of golf Some people do or pre-
look on SLOW work yet good for the liver They
hit some kind of sphere into holes the green
then seek for it. Some find it in them some do not.
Men who win grin. Men who lose bless everybody
soto voce, being too polite to do so before people
verdict is. III dressed objects. wizened things.
no chicken Men do differently, for the finish
they do a drink or two together in good fellowship
then mizzle--to dine not repine.
The cheerful intimacy with which the country
editor goes into the affairs of his community is
pretty we'll eXemplihed in this item from The
Howard CIan) Courant': Mrs. Hanch Grover
SaV IA hea nj her re abO bpip
kissed under the mistetoe but she never saw any
mistletoe until after she married. But she
can't let that she kissed until she
was married. or even until she engaged, for
can remember the society she used to live in, and
the mistletoe was not an essential element"
Dear Things Miss shugger-what self-pos
Miss Pepper-YIe les: and don't imagine she'd ever
Eeade fn''s TO dispose OF the pr0peF'y'cieveland
The TeXarkana (Tex) Courier published this
problem in arithmetic for the glory of the State OF
Texas:
This will help YOU to figure out just how large
Texas really is. If you have a star mathematician
in your family tell him the number of square miles
there are in the big State. then tell him the pop
uation of the globe; then ask him if all tho people
in the world placed In Texas and its soil di-
vided out among them per capita, how large would
the mans farm he who had a wife and two chill
dren? When he gets through figuring. then whis-
per in his ear: More than half acre."
MODERN MIsFORTUNEs
His arm was quite disjonted. so they say.
From hanging to strap most every day;
For he'd travelled on the IL"
Till he came to be afflicted in that way.
Next his eyesight was affected for spell
Stra blsmus s,. and myop!a as we'll
DOdging autos all the way,
Till this dreadful blight upon his optics fell
And the future has another i'll, It's said,
Which no doubts already thrilled his soul with
He'll most likely lose an ear
II he travels on the Subway's noisy bed.
brooklyn Life.
nopelessly lost in the bush in South
Australia after wandering about for four DAYS
came across the telegraph line between Adelaide
and Port Darwin. He mad not the strength 10 go
further but managed TO break the wire He then
made himself comfortable possible and wait
ed. The telegraph repairers sent along the
line. and they came to the wanderer In time to
save his life.
Comprom sng.-Charles-Sh is suing her late en-
ployer's estate for $4,000.
Henry-On what ground?
oasons he SAID to her we are having fne WeatS
err" with the accent on the 'we.'-(Brooklyn Life
The London County Council has given notice of
the proposed passage of an ordinance that bread
shall not be sold otherwise than by weight and
that it shall be weighed in the presence OF the
used for distributing bread shall carry weieb+s and
scales which an inspector may test at any time.
Unsafe.-Attorney for Defence-One more oues
ton Mr.. Plunkett. Have you any pretudice in
this case. one way or the other? "
Talesman-No, sir.
Attorney-It you should be accepted as a Juror
cordance with the law and the evdeneee35c in ac
Talesman--I think could
Attorney (after Whispered conference with bis
clent)-Your honor we'll excuse Mr.. Plunketie
Chicago Tribune.
Judge John Goode OF Virginia once a r,a,,-
Der of the Confederate Congress. told OF an 49,,
by Foote Of Tennessee upon Jefferson Davis and
General Albert Sidney Johnston after the Conrad
crate defeat at Cloyd Mountain. He said that ~
Johnston had fought he ought 10 have fought
peace like a wedding garment would now cover
our fair land
Had His Own Doubts.-"say. ma" asked LITTLE
Willie after he had been In conjunction with the
patspnai slIpper did anybody besides pa ever "a s
You to be his Wife, "oh, yes! had lots OF pro- e
You think You gained anything by waitingf"@1chi.
caEo Record Herald.