The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-10-01
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You can't do two things successful.
y at the same time" IL did, what
Old you dor Spent nv money snd
my vacation"
college Gri-Oh, how my watch an
noys me, ticking under my pillow Her
Cnum-Why don't you get one Of those
silent midnight watches?
saliie-what does Carrie do for
nyingf Hallie-She paints. sallie-
knew that. but didn't know she got
paid for it-Boston Traveller.
Mrs Torker-Tommy, you mast not
interrupt me when am speaking.
Iommy-Then how'll ever get
chance to say anythIngf-Life.
Old Mother Hubbard, she went out
ana rubbered- New neighbors were
Just moving in. "I'll just take a peep.
N.Y. their furniture's cheapF she said.
with a satisfied grin.
Magistrate-Th evidence clearly
shows that you threw a stone at this
man Prisoner-An' the looks of the
man shows more than that. your hon
- oNOUo Ludl hit MIN.
Mrs. Nurich-I think I'll take this
watch. You're sure 1t is made of re-
nned gold9 Jeweier-Certainly Mrs.
Nurich-Because l do detest anything
that amt refined - Philadelphia
Ledger.
MY physician says that worry
makes people thin" Il don't believe
It," answered Miss Cayenne. There
Is nothing that worries some people
more than the discovery that they are
getting fat"
First Lady Qn an open car)-I'll bet
anything it's going to raInl Second
Lady-Nonsensel the sky's clear as a
bell First LADY, know that; but
why did those gentlemen give up their
end seats, should like 10 knowl
Indian Killer from New York;
Where's yer Indians7 Colorado JACK
, All dead Indian Killer-Who killed
emf Colorado Jack-Why. you see
! young Teller. they heard you was com
/ Ing. and they laid down and died.
l Aren't you married yetY' mo-
well. WE'LL l thought you were en-
gagged to certain young lady in Scar
boroughT mo. l was engaged tC
: an uncertain young lady in Scarbor
/. ough, and that's why l am not mar
: ried"
Cassidy suppose ye heard the
news about Flannery? Casey-Phai
news? Csssidy-He was drowndet
this marnin'. Casey-I don't belley,
It. Shure. was taykin' to him yis
thsrday. an he niyer said word abou
: it--Philadelphia Press
o well. what does he sayT' impatient
ly asked Mr.. Spotcash. ''I'n tell yoT
In a moment" replied his secretary
who was still struggling with th'
opening sentence OF letter from tina
German correspondent Of the arm. 81
haven't got to the verb yet"-Chicag'
Tribune.
at must be 4 great satisfaction L
e have such a pslatial apartment" SAID
the old-ume friend 1T IS" answered
> Mr.. Cumrox; ''It's a heap OF comfor
to have a house big enough to wande
away and get lost In when mother ans
the gals are giving a musicale or a rs
q. ception- "-Washington Star.
& Lakeside On Eighth avenue restau
N rant)-I see you have a sign requesting
or gentlemen to remove their hats Wal
20 er-Yes; we found it necessary. Lake
side-Just like New York Why, on
Z. in Chicago we never think Of sittin
down to a meal without taking on on
hats and coats.-Town Topics
"a 1T suppose" said Mrs. Uppertol
es ..you are thoroughly familiar with Il
duties Of a cookT' "Oi am, maam
replied the applicant Can you nal
msyonnaise dressingT' asked Il
prospective employer. NO, ma'sm;
d. only do plain sewin'." answered Il
NJ cook lady. "Oi have all me own dress'
made."-Chicago News.
:" willing, but Hampered.-Rich CALI
,s fxbo Is making the round o. the te
IL ement districts-Well. l must 80 nov
Is there anything 1 can do for YOU u
= GOOD woman? The Other (of the su
merged)-No. thank ye. mem
mustn't mind It. mem. II don't retui
the call. l haven't any time TO
y .lumu,in' meself.-Chicago Tribune
az had a good Job last summer d
lost n on account OF my fool absen
81 mindedness." said poor old seiau
Il Fedd pessimisticslly; Il was actin
do echo for mountain hotel; an
done all right till one moonlight nigr
q when smart guy from de city nc
- Tered Hello, SMITH l forgot myse
IL am answered back, Which smith
a yer meant Judge
nd Jones-what is Nevlywed Biggn'
In looking so glum sbout1 smith-Wn
Ia y. the gypsy fortune-teller just told
~ wife that she would have two hu
.. hands and that the second one wou
,e- he A very fine sort OF man. Jones
tie Ha hal And Bigghed thinks that Is
el- -sne,tiou on him. supposel smi
p oh no. He thinks his wife mu
II. have been married before ana ne'
~ told him.-Tit-Bits.
an Verse Rhymtng.