The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-10-15

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Oonductor--I got your fare before,
Sr' Passenger-I know. This nickel
Is for the company.-Judge.
I'm getting old" Having rheu.
matsmT Worse than that. I'm hav.
ing reminiscences."-Cincinnati Trib.
une. .. r.. 80
so she has started on a life Jour.
ney into matrimony, has sheP" "WelI
guess 1t is only an excursion trip
Brooklyn Life.
Bursley-He claims to be related to
you, and says he can prove 1t. Ffloyd
line mans a fool. Bursley-That
may be mere coincidence.-Smart
Set.
Wtfe-Good gracious! Do. you hear
that sound from the kitchen? More
dishes broken, I'll warrant! Husband
Never mind, dear, it has stopped the
cooks singing.
Affected Youth ito man ringing fos
bell at ferry landing)-Aw-my man
why is this bell ringing? Man-Can'i
you see, you idiot, it's because I'm
pullin' the rope?
Mrs. Haggard-Do you know, myself
and my daughter are often mistaken
for sisters. Mrs. Gay-Ah, the dear
girl must be studying too hard, DOM
you think?-Puck.
Jimmy-Ma, did y buy George q
birthday PRESENT. Ma-Yes. Jimmy
Ma, what did y buy t pacify me
cause faint my birthday Cincinnati
COmmercial-T Tribune
D1ngdong-Did you try that cigar ]
gave ysu yesterday? Biffbang-Yes
but it didn't deserve a trial. Ding
dong-Why, what do you mean7 Bifr
bang-1t should have been lynched.
Mrs. Kenway-You used to say that
was the apple Of your eye. Mr.. Ken.
way-Well, what Of 1t? Mrs. Kenway
Nothing, except that you don't seem
to care as much for fruit as you once
did.
George-Ethel, dear, I'm going to in
terVtew your father tonight. Ethel
All right, George. And if anything
happens I'll come to the hospital twice
q day until you are able to be Out
again.-Chicago News.
II punish you, Browning, because ]
love you. But you are too young to
understand what a mothers love is
SIS 1t two seles with but a single
thought; two hands that beat as one 2?
Life.
Mistress (who Is going out for the
day)-Apd, Mary, you may invite q
friend to come in to tea, if you like
Mary-Please. m, haven't got any
friends. only know young women
Punch.
Harold anticipating thingc; -
wasn't at school yesterday, Miss
Bangs. His Teacher (severely)-No
you were not. Harold (dectsively)-
Miss Bangs, I've got to turn over a
new leaf or get into trouble.
Hette-Now that you have broken
your engagement with Fred, shall you
return to him the diamond ring he
gave you? Minna-Certainly not, Het-
tie; it would be a constant reminder
Of the happiness he had missed.
Customer Ito chemists assistanD-
In a business like this l presume you
have gained some practical experience
Of therapeutics? Chemists Assistant
Indeed, yes, sir. had 'em when I
was ten years old. Broke out all over
nae.
A Chance to Get Event. wish"
said the expressman to the lawyer,
that yeu wSuld send in your bill for
legal advice" II am waiting" replied
the lawyer, until l get your bill for
my May moving. I'd rather have the
last chance."-Ex.
Actress (angrily)-Did you write
that criticism which said my imper-
ssnation Of THE Abandoned Wife,
was q miserable failure? Critic
Ye-y-e-s; yeu see, you looked so ire
sistibly beautiful that it was impossi-
bic to fancy that any man could aban-
don youl
First Stockholders don't see why
people should be allowed to carry pack
ages on the elevated roads. Second
Steckhslder-Why shouldn't they
First stockholder-Weu, If it were not
fer the packages we could crowd a
few more people into each car.-Town
ana Country.