The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-09-06
BY z. p. Dunno.
Copyright 1904. by Mcclure, PrilliE

We'll. SIR" said Nj. Hennessy, "it
mus be gran to be rich IN go r-run-
ming around tn country III al "
thin autymobiles."
1T must that" said Mr.. Dooley.
It's tn gran sport entirely. Mex
TO a naygro agitator in Georgia, I
done suppose amy man gets as much
excitement out iv a short life as a mil
lyonaire who owns an autymobill.
pa-ape a millionaire with an auty-
mobill is constantly steerin' between
tn county Jail and the poor-house. II
tn polls don't LAND him in wan, tn
! autymobill will in tn other.
"Whin Algernon's father dies LAWN
| him tn money iv tn widow an IN or
phan, A%lgernon brushes a tear firm his
y an hurries over to Paris to get an
autymobill. Father used to go down
town in a bus figurin' inthrest on his
| cuffs but there is nawthin' FIR Algy but
an eighty-horse power red divvle
that'll make tn demon haste-wagon
iv his frind mex dure look like a mud
scOw. An he buys one an with it a
Fr-rinch shower. He calls tn shower
Franshaw an tn shower calls him Ca
nal. He is a naughty fireman this
la-ad, Nf'r he ~ a d~iscindant iv Louis
Flip an tn blood iv kings coorses in
his veins. He soon teaches Algernon
his place which is undther tn autymo-
bill fixin' up a busted valve an afther
that A%lgernon niver speaks to Fran
swaw onless he is spoken to an Fran
swaw niver speaks undther amy cir
c~umstances. Algernon turns over his
property to him to buy tires an re-
Sionc hipoci1f RI a lifD ;r nlnncIIrn
He has it while tn autymobill is in
tn masheen shop havin' a few repairs
put into il. But wan day all is r-ready.
Algernon asks FranSwaw if he may go
FIR a spin an FranSwaw motions him
into tn seat iv honor beside tn Shover.
Now they're off. Look at thin dash
through tn crowded sthreets where
tn happy childher iy tn tinimints
ARE at play. How glad tn childher
ar-re to see thin. Especially that lit
tie boy with tn golden locks See, he
has a turnip in his hand OK, look!
he is goin' to give it to- Algy- He gives
it to him just back iv the ear. See
those gintlemen comm out iv a saloon.
How proud they ARE to meet Alger-
ION. Look, they ARE tearin up tn
sthreets. They ARE actually goin' to
give Algernon tn fright iv way He
gets 1T in tn small Nv tn back. What
ARE those pretty little girls doin ?
They ARE stf1rewin' something in tn
sthTeet. Are they sthrewin' roses FIR
Algernon? No, they ARE sthrewln
tacks. What is that explosion undher
tn car followed be a cry iv Get a boss?
| Afternoons tires have reached tn
tacks. Are tn little girls happy?
| They ARE indeed. They ARE laugh
in an THROWN coal into Algy's lap.
Who is this who comes out
iv a saloon atm a Glove? 1t is an Off
Ger iv tn law. Why does he seize AL
! gernon be tn hair an dhrag him firm
tn car? Algy is pinehed, Hinnissy.
TIL officer has saved him firm a PAU
per's grave
Now tn sign iv a naughty aristoc-
racy is dragged befure tn coort
which PROTECTS tn liberties iv tn peo-
pie an tn freedom iv speech iv tn
magistrates Haynious monsther,'
! says tn starn but just judge, we nave
been caught r-red handed. What have
We to say FIR ~ye'ersilf?. Niver mind,
it don't make amy diff anyhow.
; Ye cudden't tell tn thruth. l LAY no
prejudice again We riptile. 1 believe
tn autymobile has come to stay, in tn
barn. But tn rights iv citizens mus
be protected. Why only las week 1
, was speedin' a two-thirty trotter whin
wan iv these ingines of destruction
! come along through tn crowded thor
oughfare an near frightened me out
tv me wits. l stood up or me hind legs,
1 dhrOpped tn reins, l thried 10 jump
over a fence. If it hadn't been fr tn
ca'mness of me wife an tn horse. |
wud SURELY have r-run away an p'rapS
injured somebody. l tell We this little
anecdote to show ye, monsther. hat
1 have nc prejudice. Swear tn wit
| nesSes.'
John Coolin. druggists assistant,
tiStyfied that he had left his paby car
redge ~containin' wan Fourteenth iv all
he possessed on arth, on tn sidewalk
while he wint into a saloon to buy a
postage stamp. Whin he come out, tn
vehicle had rolled down to tn curb.
He wud swear that Algernon's autymo-
bill was goin' eighty miles az our
TIL coort: How did ye time him?
TIL witness: Through tn newspapers.
August Schmidt, teamster, ~tistyfied
that while attimptin' to find a brick
to throw at tn masheen 9Th coort,
Good FIR YOU'D he slipped an sprained
his ankle. (Cries iv 'Shame!O
Officer Doolittle tistyfed that he
followed Algernon for two miles or
foot. He wud swear hat he was goin
between sixty and wan hundherd an
two miles an hour. How did ye time
him. asked tn coort. Be me stoi
watch 'Whin did it stop?' Las
week That's all I want to hear
Il says LII 1dIlICu SOOIl. AlSCIhOl NOA
this coort always timpers justice witt
mercy an timpers mercy with timper
I will not be hard on We. It is ye'er frs
offince. 1 viii merely sintince We to b,
hanged. An let this narrow escape b
a warnin' to ye,' he say
Such, Hinnissy, is tn happy lf
an arly death iv tn millionaire witt
tn autymobill. Did 1 liver r-ride Il
wan? Almost, wanst. Wan day I hea
a cry iv Kill him followed be a show
er iv bricks an l knew some millyon
aire was out FIR a jaunt or a spin o
pinch in his autymobill. Who shud tn
millionaire be but Hogan. He has
frind who is a Fr-rench shower. Tf
millionaire an his companion JUS go
: to me dure a yard in fr-ront iv tn ex
cited popylace- I whit out an came
tn ~peaSanthry with a few w~el-chose
kicks an Hogan asked me to go FIR
spin as far as Brighton Park. But jul;
| as I was about to step into me prope
, place in s'ciety along with Jawn "
Gates. tn autynObill had a conyulsyor