The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-08-28
WHEN A GIRL THINKS
SHE IS IN LOVE

certain whether her feelings for him
have reached the matrimonial boiling
point or not, writes TO me asking how
she can take the temperature of her
emotions. and tell when she is really in
love
wish that ] were wise enough to tell
her. and able to lay down some hard
and fast rule on the subject for the
guidance OF my sex. for it is a problem
that every girl has to face at some
time of her life. and there are no bit
terer tragedies than those that have
resulted from women thinking that
they were in love with a man. when in
reality they only liked him.
OF course. in a way being in love is
chronic complaint with women. From
the time we are old enough 10 be
taught anything We are taught that
love is the business of a woman's life
the profession on which we are 10 de-
pend for our bread and butter and jam,
and we are always. from the cradle to
the grave, on the lookout for it, and
expecting TO take 1t. We sit with our
fingers on our pulse watching for symp-
toms of the grand passion, and we be-
lieve every thrill of admiration to be
undyins affection, and every heart
throb to be eternal devotion and only
too often a slight and Intermittent at
tack of liking ends i'm a fatal wedding.
My dear girl. this is a mistake, and
of all the dangers that beset a woman,
none is so great as this of fancying
herself in love. when she really isn't.
1t is an error that has broken thou
sands of hearts and wrecked thousands
of lives. and if l could say one word
more earnest than another to you. it
would be to entreat you to be careful
on this point-not to mistake passing
tenderness for the grand passion, not
TO believe yourself in love until you
are so hard hit that you are knocked
completely out of the ring. There need
be no apprehension that a woman
won't know when she really falls in
love for keeps for love is like the grip.
You may mistake a dozen slight symp-
toms for the disease if you have never
had il. but when the real malady lays
hold of you. you don't need any dag
nostician to tell you what is the matter
with you. You know through every
nerve and fibre of your soul and body.
The mere fact that women are
brought up to live in their emotions,
and TO keep their affections always on
tap. makes them the predestined vic
tins of their illusions, but before you
decide that you are irretrievably and
hopelessly in love, you owe It to your
self to put yourself through the third
degree of investigation.
In the first place, you should take
time and place in consdera ton. There
is all the difference in the world be-
tween a. NJ. and ?. NJ. and you should
ascertain if you feel as sentimentally
towards a man at II o'clock in the
morning as you did under the shelter
ing palms al a ball the night before.
Given a moonlight effect, music pulls
ing a passionate strain, man who
isn't actually repulsive murmuring soft
words into your ear, and any woman
can imagine herself in love with him.
Unfortunately, however life isn't lived
under a palm in a ball room. and it
isn't set to cracked ice music. For most
married women, the long years of ma
trimony are passed in close conjunc-
tion with A kitchen range and a sew
ing machine. and they are set to the
vail of teething babies. 1t takes love
to stand that; love that is dyed in
the wool and woven in the warp, and
nothing but the affection that will as
say just as much romance to the ton
in the broad light of day as under the
glamour of a pink shaded parlor lamp
will do it.
A famous coquette once laid it down
as part of the ethics of a Irritation that
woman shouldn't take a man Sc
riously unless he came and proposed
in the morning. You should apply the
same test to yourself, and unless you
can face a life that is prose instead
or poetry with a man, unless you are
willing to share hard times, and hard
work. and narrow means. and sick
ness and i'll temper cheerfully with
him, YOU shouldn't take yourself Sc
riously. Your love is only a passing
indispositon from which you will re-
cover with no bad consequences if you
will only give yourself time.
The next test that you should APP
ply to yourself i'm determining whether
the liking you feel for a man is genu-
inc love or not. is the important one
of companionship. More love is bored
TO death than is killed in any other
way. UNLESS you can dream in
crowd all day on an absent face that
has fixed you, then never say you
love" declares a poet. That is dead
easy. Anybody can. It's no trouble to
be sentimental about a person who is
absent. The real question is whether
you can listen all day to the person
who is by your side and still want
TO hear more. Any of US can hang en-
raptured on the words of the one who
is singing our praises. II is when we
come to listening to a person prose
that love counts. and If "A girl finds
that she is taking "A genuine heart in
terest in a mans account of his gro
Gerry business. and that she can laugh
when he tells a joke over the second
time, he may be sure that she is up
against the real article, and that her
affection will stand the wear and tea
of daily intercourse
Don't think you are in love with the
first man you meet who resembles the
hero of your romantic dreams. All Of
your life you have been imagining the
man with whom you would fall in love
when you grow up. and did up your
hair and went out to parties. He
would be an Adonis. with large, dark,
soulful eyes. a sweeping mustache,
which he would gnaw savagely, a mel
ancholy expression and a lurid past,
and he would make love in beautiful
Booth Harrington language. To meet
this vision Is like being exposed to the
measles. With the very young. espec-
tally II is almost sure TO take. but
fortunately, the attack is seldom seri-
Gus.
During this short and violent hectic
flush. however, IL leads a girl to do
things that she bushes to remembe
the balance of her life More often
than not. the object Of 1t is some matt
nee hero, and she spends her money
going 10 see him play and buying his
photographs, before which she burns
candles and keeps violets. and II she
has got II very bad indeed she writes
him silly love letters that he laughs
over with his wife. Finally. though
the disease expends itself and the riri