Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1904-09-02
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gagged eleven times! Patrice-I hate to
see girl get in rut like that
Yonkers Statesman.
Madge-Don't you think a girl
should marry an economical man?
Dolly suppose SO, but it's just awful
being engaged to one.-New York Sun.
Mrs. Witherby lat breakfast)
you well? Witherby-Yes. Why? Mrs.
Witherby-You look changed. sup
pose notice it more than those who
are with you constantly. -Harper's Ba-
Ear
Mamma-Johnny, see that you give
Ethel the lions share of that orange.
Johnny-Yes ma. Ethel-Mamma, he
hasn't given me any. Johnny-Well,
that's all right. Lions don't eat or
anges.
An old lady being in store In
Connecticut town. sat down and ex-
tended her feet to an iron safe, re-
marking that she was so glad that 1.-THE
air-tight stoves had come into fashion
again."
Paying Teller-What is your name,
any way? Indignant Presenter of
Check-Don't you see my signature?
Paying Teller-Yes. That's what
aroused my curiosity. Baltimore
American.
A man who wished to take proceed
ings against creditor In distant
town sent letter addressed: "To any
respectable lawyer in A." The
postofice returned the letter marked
Not known"
Bobby, your father wants to see
you" The boy looked dubious. DO
l want to see him?' he asked. How
should l known "You ought to be
able to tell by the look in his eye."-
Chicago Post.
Woody declares his grandfather
descended from one of the greatest
houses in England" "Ah, yes. did
hear story about the old man falling
off a roof he was repairing once for
Lord Somebody or r."-Philadel-
phia Press.
Miss Softly (who has been attending
course of lectures)-Oh, professor,
saw such funny old fossil in the mu-
scum to-day. l thought of you at once.
Professor Pliocene, the eminent geolo-
gist, does not know whether to feel
fiattered or not.
Willie-Pa, what's "suburbanite,"
any way? PA suburbanite, my son,
is q queer creature who joyfully sows
grass seed in the spring SO that he
may exercise his lawn mower and his
profane vocabulary in the summer
Philadelphia Press.
Mrs. McShantee (triumphantly)-I
see We are takin' in washin' again,
Mrs. McProudee! Mrs. McProudee
(whose husband has lost a paying lob,
Sure it's only to amuse tn childer.
They wants TIL windies covered wild
steam so they can make pictures on
them.
A mother recently brought her little
boy to school for his first time. and
she said to the teacher: "This little
boy 1s very delicate, as he is afther
a TIT of harmonya on the loongs but if
he does anything bould-and l know
he will-bate the wan next to him. an
twill frighten him."
Are you the defendants" asked a
man in Mississippi court room, speak
ing to an old negro. mo, boss" was
the reply; Il amt done nothing to be
called names like that. Use got law
yer here who does the defensing."
Then, who are your" Use the gen.
tleman wat stole the chickens"
Whats the matter?" asked the law.
yer's friend. Been in railway acct
dent?" mo. l had a jury case the
other day, and in arguing 1t / bore
strongly upon the theory that my eli.
ent was fool rather than criminal"
'Yes?" II did it so we'll that he was
acquitted and met me outside"
In this era of over-estimated fortunes
and profits, it is not surprising that
boasts are made about rapidly acquir-
ed gains. l was talking with a man
one day about investments, when he
exclaimed: Il made seventy EIGHT thou
sand dollars last week, and the best of
it was that thirty-eight dollars of the
whole amount was spot cash."
Uncle Eph'm had put on a clean col.
lar and his best coat, and was walking
up and down the street.
Aren't you working to-day, uncle?"
asked one OF his Caucasian acquaint-
ances. mo, sub. Use celebratin' my
golden weddin', suh." you were mar
ried fifty years ago to-day?" Eyes,
suh." "Well. why isn't your wife help.
Ing you to celebrate ftT' my present
wife, subj" replied Uncle Eph'm, with