The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-04-10
THE STRANGERS WE MARRY.

really acquainted with the woman M
marries before he marries her? Car
any woman ever really know the mar
who leads her to the altar until aftei
she has taken that fatal journey witt
him?
There will be two answers to thes'
questions The matrimonial amateurs
who are still enjoying single blessed
ness, and who have no experience tC
guide them, will say yes" Every
debutante believes that she under
stands man. Every unmarried man is
convinced that woman is an open book
that he can read at pleasure, and 50
they can see no reason why any fairly
intelligent man or woman cannot size
up the party of the other part in ad-
vance to the last hair OF their head
and the last quirk in their charac-
tiers.
Those who have been up against
the matrimonial proposition, however,
will return a different reply. Some viii
say that had they known beforehand
what they We're getting in marriage
they never would have gotten in it.
while even the happiest Darby and
Joan must admit that the things that
astounded them most in matrimony
were the things that they didn't know
about each other.
You may have been familiar with
Johnny Jones ever since the days when
YOU made mud pies together but when
you became Mrs John Jones you have
to become acquainted with a man, the
inner workings of whose mind and
temper, and Crankiness is as much
mystery to you as If you had never
seen him before. You may have known
Mary Smith since YOU went to the
kindergarten with her. but the minute
she becomes the wife of your bosom
you have to deal with a bunch of pc
culiarites. and nerves. and ways that
you never suspected her of having
concealed about her angelic disposi-
ton.
1t is this universal theory that mar
riage is a lottery, and a belief that
when You go into it you had as well
be guided by a dream book, or
hunch, as anything else, that makes
people 50 reckless about the way they
plunge into it. Every day we hear
Of so-ca1led romantic marriages in
which two fools who have never seen
each other, but who are TO recognize
each other by a bow of white ribbon
pinned on the left shoulder, travel
across the continent to meet and mar
Ty on sight. All OF us know heart
rending stories of lovely and trustful
young girls who have been permitted
10 marry fascinating strangers, who
turned out to be escaped convicts and
bigamists. and of noble young men,
who. bew4tched by the beautiful face
of some woman they had casually met
have married her only to find out that
she was an unprincipled adventures
who ruined their lives and dragged
their names into the mire.
For such folly and such mistakes as
these there is no possible excuse. With
the present facility for travel, with
the telegraph and telephone ready to
everyone's hand. with the commercial
agencies willing for an Insignificant
sum to make a detailed report of any
body's social position. financial stand
ing and moral habits. there Is no rea-
son why any man or woman should
not at least have accurate knowledge
of the outward life of the person whom
ehey are marrying. That people so
seldom take the trouble to acquire this
Information Ia one of the most curious
contradictions of life. A man would
not buy house and lot in a distant
city without employing a lawyer to
see tshat its title was clear, or purchase
a horse without ascertalning that it
was sound and of good temper and
buy Jewel without having the opin-
ion of an expert as to whether it was
genuine. but both men and women in
vest their whole capital of happiness
in marriage without ever even inouir-
ing as TO the quality of goods they
are getting. No wonder that so many
matches are wildcat speculattons that
end in bankruptcy.
1t is much, of course. to find ont
whether the individual with whom
you contemplate entering into a life
partnership has any mortgages on the
past, or foreclosures on the present.
but II is not all the information we
need, and by the time we have found
out the balance it is too late to do
US any good. 1t is one of the pathetic
facts OF existence that experience al
ways comes at the wrong end of life.
and no matter how intelligent, how
prudent, how cautious, a man may be
there is no possible way by which he
can Judge beforehand whether a wom-
an will make him a good wife, nor
is there any way by which a girl can
get an accurate line upon the sort of
a husband the man win make. Both
may dope out a system Of choice like
the race handicappers do, and with
about the same chances of success.
They win out IL they are lucky; other
wise they lose, but with the wisest
it is matter of guessing, with no sure
thing.
OF course. there are men who de-
ceive women into marrying them by
pretending to be what they are not,
and there are women who inveigle men
into matrimony by means of a false
assumption of charms and virtues that
they do not possess. but these cases
are exceptional. The majority of men
and women do not consciously desire
to pose as anything other than what
they are, but for all that, every court
ship is conducted on a platform of
false representations. 1t is a little
stage set with a scene representing an
earthly paradise. in which the man
and woman gaze rapturously at each
other, and utter the things they think
the other would like to hear, and
throw boQuets at each other, and
when the curtain rings down on the
wedding, and they have washed their
makeup off, and face each other in
an every day world in their every day
clothes. each finds that the other is
no more like the hero or heroine of
their romantic drama than in real life
the John Jones and Malissa Smith
are like the Romeo and Juliet they
enact nightly on the boards.
What can a woman know Of the real
disposition and character of a man,
L