davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1904-01-23
Mistakes of Women.

One of the mistakes OF women is
not knowing how to cat. If man is
not to be fed when she is, she thinks
cup of tea or anything handy is good
enough. If she needs TO save money,
she does it at the butchers cost. If
she is busy, she will not waste time
in eating. If she is unhappy, she goes
without food. A man eats if the shcr-
if is at the door, if his work drives, if
the undertaken interrupts; and he is
right. A woman will choose ice cream
instead OF bcefsteak, and a man will
not.
Another OF her mistakes is in not
knowing when to rest. If she is tired,
she may sit down, but she will darn
stockings, crochet shawls, embroider
doilies. Doesn't she know that hard
work tires? II she is exhausted she
will write letters or figure her ac-
counts. She would laugh at you if
you hinted that reading or writing
would fail to rest her. All over the
country women's hospitals flourish
because women do not know how to
rest.
The Irish standard., 1904-01-23
Served Him Riuht.

1t was a raw, cold night and the rain
fell pitilcssly as an omnibus drew up
at the corner OF Oxford street. A
thinly clad young woman stood on the
curb and looked imploringly at the
conductor. The latter, an Irishman,
speaking in reply to the mute inquiry,
said: "Sure, it's full l am, but
glancing again at the little one-"comc
Gil, me honey; in wild yc; I'll chance
it." The little woman was squeezed
into a seat; but the bus had not pro-
cecdcd very far when the following
incident occurred: In the corner scat
was fop, who, with eye glasses
firmly fixed, had been watching the
proceedings, and as the vehicle eascd
up he called out:
"Conductah!"
"Sir!
care you aware that you have one
over your numbcr?"
"Havc I, sir? I'll sce." Pat counts,
beginning at the opposite corner, leav-
ing the johnny" until the last: EVAN,
two, three, four, five six, seven, eight,
nine, ten, 'lcven, twelve, thir-so 1
nave, and, bedad; you're the very one.
Out yc come" And he went.
The Irish standard., 1904-01-23

fee, which would be half of what he
could recover for the deserted wife.
The senator teak the address OF the
poor woman, but with hardly thought
that he should ever have occasion to
refer to it.
1t chanced, however, that he was in
Boston a short time afterward, and,
discovering that there was to be
good ball game in the afternoon, de-
cided to stay over until the following
morning. This resulted in his having
the early part OF the day unoccupied
ON his hands, and, remembering the
llardluck story, he indulged his curios-
ity by visit to the woman. He found
her in the greatest poverty, as dcscrib-
ed, and surrounded by evidences to
confirm the allegations of the stranger.
On his way to his Wisconsin home he
stopped in Chicago and enlisted the
services of friend there to look up
tic record of the husband, who, he as
certained, had recently died. In day
or two he received telegram, calling
him to Chicago at once, as all the
statements made to him had proved
true. The widow as she supposed
herself to be-who had inherited the
fortune, learned with amazcmcnt of
the existence of previous wife, and
her lawyers we're equally astonished
But a brief investigation led to set
tlemcnt, by which thrce-million-dol-
lar estate was equally divided, and
Senator Spooncr carried away an cnor-
nous fee as the fruit OF an afternoons
leisure.
The Irish standard., 1904-01-23

single one gives the news from all the
parishes i'll the respective dioceses. A
little reflection will show the impos-
sbility OF fulfilling the conditions. In
the reverend gentlcman's own parish
we have exactly six subscribers and
five OF these are in arrears from two
to four years, but single one, his
own, being paid up. And yet that
parish has received considerable free
advertising in Our columns, not a sim
gle item of news sent in have we ever
turned down. The most elaborate
write UP of the parisll-and we have
given several in the past fifteen years
never resulted in securing a single
new subscription. These people seem
to forget that it takes money to run a
paper and that they have no moral
right to expect more than they put in
the pot.
The Irish standard., 1904-01-23
The Editor Talks Back.

We have received a communication
from clerical friend who takes US to
task for not publishing more news
items about his parish, says the Los
Angeles Tidings. He says, among
other things: "Unless you give the
news of all the parishes you'll never
make success of diocesan paper"
If this be sine qua non of success
then there is not successful Catholic
paper in the Uni led States, for not a
The Irish standard., 1904-01-23

contradiction, and nailed the slander
to the counter.
Now, what should be said if that
accusation should come from one-I
speak not of men, but of language
within the rules of the House-if that
accusation against that people should
come from one who is outlawed in his
own home from respectable society;
whose name is synonymous with false
hood; who is the champion and has
been on all occasions, of fraud; who is
the apologist OF thieves; who is such
a prodigy of vice and meanness that,
to describe him, imagination would
sicken and invective would exhaust it.
self? In Scotland, years ago, there
was man whose trade was murder,
and he earned his livelihood by selling
the bodies of his victims for gold. He
linked his name to his crime, and to-
day, throughout the world, it is known
as 'Burlxing.'"
Here he paused a moment and then
repeated with intense force:
"This mans name was linked to his
crime, and to-day, throughout the
world, it is known as 'Burlling.' If I
were to characterize all that was pusil-
luminous in war, inhuman in peace,
forbidding in morals, and Infamous in
politics, should call it 'Butlerizing. !"
Butler tried to turn the matter off
with sercasm; but it seemed for a
while as if the pressure toward per-
sonaly encounter would be too stren-
uous to resist. The punishment Of
Brown by reprimand from the chair
was at last decided to be sufficient
amends for Butler. The speech has
gone into the history of American ora
tory as one OF the immortal specimens
of Congressional invective.
X X
Senator Spooner, of Wisconsin, is
not the only public man devoted to
baseball, but there are few men who
have turned single ball game to ac-
count to the tune Of many thousands
of dollars. Yet that's what they tell
about him. He was sitting on a fence
as the story goes-in the little New
England town where he spends his
summers, watching a game, when for
tune came to him in the disguise of
a shabby man with hard-luck story.
Ordinarily the senator would not have
been inclined to listen; but as he could
watch the game at the same time, he
told the man to go ahead.
The stranger said that he was pass
ing through the town, and wanted to
interest an able lawyer in the case of
his sister, who was living in abject
poverty in Boston with several chill
dren dependent on her. He went on
to explain that his sister had married
a barkeeper Of that city, and that her
husband had been very successful, was
interested in number of hotels, and
had become millionaire. With his
change of fortunes he had taken to
dissipation, and finally had abandoned
his family and contracted bigamous
marriage elsewhere.
Mr.. Spooner was not much impress
ed with the story at first, particularly
as the stranger said that he and his
sister had no money to pay lawyer,
but were anxious to have Senator
Spooner take the case on contingent
The Irish standard., 1904-01-23
H. HAMLIN,
M. w. RANSOM,
TIMOTHY o. HOWE,
J. E. MCDONALD.

December IS, 1877.
This entry was the first of its kind
that had been made since the cele-
brated affair between Senators Poin-
dexter and Forsyth, similarly arranged
through the agency of Henry Clay
more than forty years before.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

The current outlook magazine gives
an account Of the success of a colored
man who is ROW about forty five years
Of age. He MAS born a slave and is
pure bloodeti negro He Went TO KAN
sas from kentucky about twenty ye.rs
ago, and began rs i common laborer on
farm at 80 cents 4 day Nuw he has
a farm Of $50 acres in the Wyandotte
valley that is worth all the Nay from
s1a5 TO $3.50 an acre. on which he has
built a mansion with all of the modern
improvements He has besides, Il large
general store. together With much bank
and mining stocks. lie Is one of the
rich men Of Kansas His rol of pcta-
toes last year amounted 70 over u. 0go
bushels.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
ELklNs SOUNDS KEYNOTE.
West Virginia Senator Says No,nina
ton of Davis Can't Garry State.

ton of Davis Can't Carry State.
Wheeling w Y .mlv 10 1-nitad
states senator Steven n Ellsina
sounded tho keynote ,f tl,e 'rennhiil..,,,
CAMPAIGN i'm n speerh hnrora ,ba ~,
publican convention TODAY lie s.,id i,
nart ~ ~
The republican party of West yir-
einin s tho marry nf nroo.,as.s ~
Stands ro.,1iv 10 move forn.,sI ~, i,,i,1
up and MOI ia mil down TO fn,,n,,,l.,ia
Wise ,olirics for mo nsn,,le AMI 49,,
by add 10 Inc Glory and hnno,. If No
STATE In ms he co,,r.,ee tn ,,,,.,t CT.
ly and solve the new and ,ittinmlt ,,.,li-
lens constuntlv arisina i'm tha on,,.,,,d
march of civilization ma aond 80.
ernnnnt II never. sbrin,,s ,,n,. ,,,,,..
aside from .rre., issras 80 10
",rha rcn,,hl,r.,n m.,,tv st,,,,. Gov. -
nrncinIa Of n,otecti1n hut inisit.i,, az
* NV, ~. :,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

just when life seemed unbearable l
red this woman's advertisement. Here
is is: Madame Rozetti. clarivoyant,
trance medium and palmist She
brings you face to face with the de-
parted ones I made UP my mind to
take q chance. She was diseagaged
when 1 called and gave me sitting at
once
"'Can you put me into communica-
ton with William Hazazer?' asked.
81 can, she replied, for So
II planlscd down the three and said,
Como on. Bill After gathering in tho
coin she began to take on. Her limbs
twitpher. her eyes became set and
fi1sd on the ceiling and she breathed as
though her corset hurt her. I waited
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

and waited, but no Bill. Finally she
threw her hands above her head and
began to cry out. I'm SO happy: I'm
so happy
Judge, couldn't resist it. With the
back of my hand and round arm
swing I gave her a crack in the face
1t was the first opportunity had ever
had of striking happy Medium
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
A Happy Medium.

Baltimore News: The dyspeptic
looking little man facing the magis-
trate had just been asked what he had
to say to the charge of striking the
woman.
ut was this way, your honor" he re-
piled. Judge, l am a man of moods
of mental extremes. One moment I
am in q state o. collaboration and 1
see the world through rose colorel
lenses. Tho naxt moinsnt am plunged
Into thu slouEhs of dsspond. 1t has
been so with no for many years-nevee
normal
Last wesk death robbed me Of my
best friend. I mourned him sincerely.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
Weaver for Congressman.

Des MONIES, Ia, July 14.-GeneraI j.
B. Weaver of ColfaX, nominee for presi-
dent on the populist ticket four years
ago, will be candidate for congress
on the democratic ticket from the Sixth
Iowa congressional district this year,
against Major Lacey, the present re-
publican incumbent. 1t is understood
that in the campaign he Will be assist
ed in stumping by Senator Joe Bailey
of Texas.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
IOWA CROP BULLETIN.
Good Weather Needed as Haying and
Harvest Are at Hand.


Dies Moines, Ia, July l4.-This has been
cool, wet and cloudy week. The daily
average deficiency in temperature was
about 5 degrees. In all parts of the state
showers We're frequent and the fields
We're too wet fer farming operations four
or five days. With haying and harvesting
ut hand. and the corn crop needing more
cultivation, this hindrance to field work
caused some anxiety and depression. The
crop outlook, however. is materially
brighter than at the corresponding date
in 1862 and 1903.
The corn crop i'll the southern and CEN
trail sections has made fair progress. more
than half being laid by in good condition.
In the northern districts there is need of
considerable more cultivation, and q
smaller percentage has been laid by. The
cool weather has been favorable for smoll
grain generally. Oats, spring wheat and
barley have not suffered material damage
as yet from rust or lodging, and these
crops give promise of an average yield Of
good grain. The meadows and pastures
have been materially improved. Potatoes
are very thrifty. Apples are still proming
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
NO more strips Will be shipped to

mo more strips Will be shipped to
England" said q resident of Liverpool,
who is an officer of the American to-
bacco trust and represents that concern
In England. The export of tobacco
strips IS practically at an end. The eX-
porters cannot afford to ship the strip
ped leaf when the unstemmed leaf can
be entered at English ports cents low
err Leaf tobacco VIII be the thing for
export after this, and the North Allan
tic ports Will not lose the business.
either. The rate In that direction is
10 cents a hundred higher, l will adj
NIT, but 10 cents a hundred pounds on
tobacco is nothing in comparison with
the more rapid time which can be made
by the North Atlantic ports
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
PARKER WILL HELP.
Democratic Nominee Will Advise on al
Important Questions During
j.,ro,,,,c " Y In. ~

I.sopus, n. y, July Tho return
here of VIM. f. Sheehan from the st.
Louis convention marks the opening of
the democratic national campaign,
which will be largely conducted from
Fsopus. Actual plans for the cam
paign are not completed. but it is prob
able Judge Parker will remain at Rose
mont most OF the summer and fall His
friends say Judge Parker will advise
on al questions of Importance which
may come up during the campaign
judge Parker will answer personally
all the consratulatorN kilograms and
messages He spent several hours in
this work today
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

Eugene Ssnirnofi, chaplain Of tie
Russian etMhaSsy i'll London. s;lys that
the Russian church maintains flourish
.ng missions in Japan and ,llina. Her
Japan missions began in 1865. The head
Of IT is Bishop Nieh5il.ts. ANA il NUM-
oers 1921 converts ana thityfcur ec-
elesiastics. All its clergy bat one
priest and one deacon are Japanese
and the mission is perfectly loyal 10
The country and teaches the Japanese
that il their duty 20 fight Tor Japan.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
SEEKING QUIET.
Went to Hotel, as Wife Was House

Went to Hotel, as Wife Was House.
chicago 1ourn a1san "1'a like to get
room-a nice quiet room in the back of
the house"
Yes, sir, daily or weekly rate?" asked
the clerk taking n key from the rack and
signaling for the bellboy.
Weekly, with privilege OF extension"
was the response. You see, l live right
here in the berg, but my wife Is house
cleaning, and l can't just tell"
Understand you perfectly, sir; severa.
other gentlemen here with the same COM
plant; home is no place for man when
the housecleaning bee is buzzing; no man
likes to leave the routine of quiet office
in a high building and go home to find
everything in confusion
I'm superintendent of a boiler factory
myself volunteered the prospective
guest. but the racket around the fac
tory is a deep. religious calm compared
with the confusion of housekeeping"
We'll, you'll be all right here; the quiet
est hotel in the city. We don't permit
any undue noise around the house, and
you'l find the environment as peaceful
as though you We're encamped on the bor-
der of fleecy cloud"
Whats that pounding hear in the
basemcnt?"
''Oh, i hadn't noticed it, but now that
YOU remind me ! guess the boys are do
ing a little bowling down on the alleys.
We cut that out every night at ~ O'Clock,
however,
lymph, got any theatrical people in tho
house,"
"A dozen or so, but they sleep all day
and work every evening until nearly mid
night, you know.
Yes, know, and then they come back
to the hotel and play ragtime until about
3 in the morning, If I'm reliably in
formed"
Occasionally. yes. But nobody seems
TO take any uotice of that, except few
chronic kickers. After midnight is about
the only time the theatrical push has to
itself, you know.
Yes, I'm onto that. too. but you'll have
to count my vote with the chronic isickers
and put me on a different floor
Let me see. All. the very thing; L
have room right back of the office on
this floor. 1t isn't very large but there
isn't another guest in this part of the
house..
Elevator goes right up by it. doesn't
| it?"
~ believe it does, now that you speat
And runs day and night?"
Yep, but"
"Kitchen is right underneath, too, ain,
lit?"
! II think So but"
And the cook begins to grind hambur-
ger about in the dawnlight and starts
4 the ice cream freezer at 81"
Something like that, but"
No more butts. 1 live in a fiat building
and know the Interpretation of every
sound in captivity. i had decided to make
4 housccleaning time my vacation, but L
guess III make up a bunk in the office
of the boiler factory until my wife gets
the home reconstructed. To be sure, the
factory runs a day and night shift, but
as compared with the prospect here, the
| hammerfest there is solitary confinement.
| Good night"
Now, what do you think of that?"
asked the clerk Of the night porter.
1 Its a wise guy that knows enough to
| leave we'll enough alone replied the por-
ter and when you think of the rackets
that are pulled off in the average quiet
hotel you can't blame him.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

Georgia will get $4,000 net out of a
recent award OF convict labor Fifteen
hundred convicts have recently been let
out to contractors in thar st;rte In the
states where convict labor is so farmed
out the average bid for each convict is
s2a5 u Year
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

The largest producer Of sulphur is
Sicily. The deposits occur in Miocene
limestone, with unaltered beds of gyp-
sum below, and it exported in 1903
475,50S ions of which nearly one third
was for the United States.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

Rear Admiral Robley u. Evans is a
pasepail enthusiast and seldom misses
an opportunity TO see q game. He has
been visiting Mrs. Evans sister in
Poughkeepsie, and while there attended
u contest of the Hudson River league
and 'rooted" uproariously for the home
team, which won
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
SUICIDE BY ACID.
Woman at Waterloo, Representing
CHICAGO Firm, Takes Her Life.

Waterloo. la. July 14.--Clara NJ.
Vaughn of Green Mountain. travelling
representative of L. D. Abott& Com
pany, Chicago, took carbolic acid this
morning and died. She has been here
since last Friday. Her age was 20
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
Easy.

Agent-Can paint your sheep?
Fariner-Sure.
Agent-Thank you. represent the
International Sign company. and I'll
paint a pretty soap "ad." on each
sheep.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

Conferences to be attended by British
and French officials will be held in Lon
don for the purpose of framing regula-
lions as pAEided by the Anglo French
agreement Tor policing the concurrent
fisheries in Newfoundland
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

Tea is almost unknown in Korea,
The diet consists principally OF rice,
pork and dog meat. Beds are not used,
The natives sleeping on the floor, which
= covered with oiled paper.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

Sir William Turner who WAS long AN
expert adviser to Darwin on anatomical
points is stiIl Wonderfully active at his
more than ~ years. He presided re-
Gently over the annual meeting of the
general medical council in London.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

Between 1896 and 1903 the United
States decreased the number of com
mercial failures from l5.0SS, With liza
blities of $226, 100000 10 12.0GI. with
liabilities of Sl55.o0o.o0o, a decrease of
3.ol9 i'll number. and $1l,o00,o0o in liza
bilities
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14
PARKER AND DAVIS
HEAD THE T|CK[T
Democratic Nominees OF the
Greatest Convention Since
One of 1860.
BOTH ON FIRST BALLOT
Wild Enthusiasm Prevailed at
Times and Assembly Was
Held in Uproar.
HEARST HAD NO SHOW
Favomte Sons Were Nominated as In
tended ard AL Speeches Made,
Eut Fni. Nominations Were
Unanimous.


tented and Al Speeches made,
Emf E;n.l Nominations Were
Ofahimous'
/ ST. Louis -Eha democratic national
,.,.,,,',.,s..,. l,...,,,3,ss,,5, Inlv
,.,,;i,i;,., -,
W So ~ 49, ~
owe #ifeei l-GnS b@iefe the door
/ swunS Open lasl crowds throngea the
strs,sts in en- ,{ejtlftN Oh M main en-
t,.,,,e.. ,..s,..,,i, ..sa,.,3,., a,,,a,it.n
~. ,a,...;, ,..,. ~
ne feature el liie i''ie.''o'' N''S ~.
| continued scramble for tickets, many Oh
| the delegations Seins accompanied by
| five lnne, as many friends IS there WAS
| tickets 'of
The great majority of the assemblage
had provided themselves With fans, ana
lle Ni'Meg ino,i, .',e ai'e,h
s. otsh' Ht5 on Seil"Fs itut,ei - 'iie
pa 5,ii 1850 romeo pa'h 9'iu i'''i,
ne 'iiSs lLl,i}le on miii,,uae ,r .,'lis.
l'9'ia ~ E,'itii W. ~. ,,si,.
S'i'ivil 49, - ~, p,,'t,''7
a'i ~, S,5'F f'oil'i,' I'm ~
| ~ Hlili!3'iH .t7s''i''is - ~ :,
~ -, 90 .i5ti - n.y.
| IeililaA y III. 49, AN'''" -
tHeii'' NIs iieittlls ShgSie','
Cai'cd to Order ny Jones.
49, M ,li,,f, ~,
~ ~ i't.'',l ~ -,
a. ~ -, +. ~ ''t.s,' Wv
| 49, - ~ '',',,,''' ~
tl6a, MA M, ,s.,rt6,ias nc C.aljro,1li.,s
| then made IFS first appearance With
| huge silk banner and cries of Hearst,
Hearst. Hearst,
Just as the California delegates
reaebad thoi,, saats William / ,sryan
/, who had come in lnnoticed ;,ros,. in.
M; ,,iara and vac Yiynn ,.hners t,b;sir
man Homes then secured order and AT
ni5,,,. lIirset..d tha secret;,,y to reaa ,h,.
convention c9ll Applause followed the
~ ,,li,,p, ~ III. ,,,,ll ana t-b,ir,3an Io,,e.,
.ln,o1iiI,ed ma I2av .Tohn Il, cam
nni3 ,,.,s..n,, nf ,b,. crowd .,von,la Ram
tist ,15,ir,,h of =, u,is v5ho in,ols cd
~. 5iIsina hlnssi,,,r ,l,,oi, Inc conven-
,in,,
Nv cannon,s voice v,,e e,tiralv in
aa.fGi,.,,.. 10 ra.,cb cyan, t,,n ,.ants, nf
~, I'm NV, s,,a,,,,,, ,,.,,,,,,i,j savar.,I
s,i,,nts,e
VISA,
% .. ss'''''''s do S''d' ''''af''
Enthnsiastic cheering greeted the
clallmans announcement that he WIS
directed by the national committee 10
appoint John sharp Williams as tenn
9otary chairman, &. y. Walsh of Iowa
as secretary and John L. Martin as
sergeant at ARMS.
liiefe NaS u p.lfs' ol siieefs as M'l-
ti a., i..,, -. '.i''i ~. 81,
49,, ~
yvilli,,,s d..,i,,a,.,a 1,is .,,.,,ass, o.I,,
~ ANA w,itIia5t a..stu,,as
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1904-07-14

Remember that it takes as much
energy and feed to fight flies as it
does to grow a calf. Then will it not
pay to cut out the flies by giving the
calves access to Il dark stable or shed ?
You may rest assured that they will
grow and lay on flesh twice as fast
from now on IL they are afforded a
means of thus protecting themselves
than they otherwise could possibly do.