The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-05-11

waded right in. "I frankly confess
that in private life talk too much
and break in when I ought not to"
said Mr.. Howe. ''Now 1 have a
chance, but I am scared. I'm not as
scared as Alb Harvey. the shoemaker,
was once. The people used to congre-
gate in Harveys shop to hear him
talk. He did so much of it that he
became good Single-handed talker.
His friends hit upon the idea of Civ
ing him a chance to talk before an
audience. a hall was rented and the
crowd assembled. After a few pre-
liminaries it was Harvey's turn to
talk. When the people looked around
for him they saw him sitting with
his head resting on the back of the
bench in front of him. They shook
him. He was dead. Scared to death. .
All this sounded as if the lecturer
was telling stories to warm up for the
real lecture part. Bill White said
couldn't toe the scratch. He was mis-
taken. I am here but don't know
how many rounds l will stay" Mr.
Howe kept on sparring as if waiting
for an opening in which to land his
solar plexus.
When an amateur lecturer is to ap-
pear the morning papers never say in
advance of the lecture what he had for
breakfast. as they do when man is
going to be hung. AS you will be in
terested in my case, I'll tell you what
had for breakfast-ham and eggs.
Mr. Howe explained how audiences
are generally secured forIectures-that
the promoters of the lecture send out
pretty girls to sell the tickets. This
| brought an Atchison story. over in
Atchison we all think Mrs. Bale
| Waggener a very handsome woman
although she is a grandmother One
time the pastor of an Atchison church
/ got UP a lecture and he sent the pretty
girls out to sell tickets Mabel Wag-
gener wanted me to buy some tickets
I told her that if she wanted me to
tickets q r
with them.
Then Mr.. Howe explained his new
Boss Buster movement and his plans
for new overthrow in politics. The
/ Boss Buster who applauds the most
here tonight will be United States SEN
ator from Kansas. I hope it will be
Bent Murdoch but if it is Stubbs all
right. I'll keep the governorship for
nor's mansion to look it over tonight
Talks of Governor Bailey.
Governor Bailey is a good man but
he is an orator. am going to do diff
ferent with you tonight than the ora
tor who was trying to raise 800 for
the foreign missionary fund and he or
dered the doors of the hall locked un-
til the money was raised. I'll do bet
ter Anyone who wants to leave raise
their hands.
Before engaging in this work I con-
suited several well known orators as to
the proper way for me to do. Captain
John Seaton told me the first thing TO
do was to fear the audience T. B.
GerOw said speak slowly Henry Allen
said talk fast and get through with it..
1 That reminds me of the man who was
to give a phonograph entertainment at
/ a poor farm. He ran the machine very
fast. Some one asked him why he had
| the music play so fast. He said he had
1 a lot of records and unless he ran the
machine fast he couldn't get through
/ with them all.
4 don't want you to expect too much
/ tonight This is no $3 AParsifal show.
You only paid 25 cents to get in. When
I I learn gestures I'll raise the price to
/ 80 cents. I'll not use gestures tonight
and will request you to refrain from
! yawning."
| ,r.-4......a y. -. g.