Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1904-09-23
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/ Wv NAiNS- e'Na@po.
1T serves her good and right" How
nowT' "She became engaged on a Fri.
day and married on the 18th" "Well2'
wei, now she can't get divorcer-
New York Evening Sun.
She--So you think that men are
smarter than women, do your He
Some men, but not all She-Weii,
what men arc smarter? He-Old bach,
elors. Illustrated Bits.
What do you put ON your face after
shaylngr' asked the man who smelled
OF bay rum. Court plaster, usually"
replied the nervous chap, gloomlly.--.
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune
Does your little girl know how to
spellr' "Oh, dear no. That's so Pile
beian, and we expect her to marry
man who is rich enough to let hor
have an amanuensls." ls."--Chicago Post
Have you heard about the latest In.
surance company" "No; what is III"
why. It's one that promises to pay ali
mony to both parties In case the mar,
rlage proves failure. Detroit Free
Press.
Miss Vane-Some one told me to-day
that l was the handsomest girl In our
street. Miss Speitz--Oh, that's not in
curable Miss vane-What do you
meant Miss speitz-Your habit of
talking to yourselfl
Baxter-We had some fine music at
the concert last night Caxton---I
thought you didn't enjoy hlgh-class
music. Baxter-Oh, didn't enjoy 1t;
that's why | know 1t must have been
high class.-Boston Transcript.
Augustus (no longer the youthfuD--
Well. there's one comfort; they say at
40 man Is either fool or a physi-
clan. Angelina (nearly swallowing u
yawn)-And are you physician, then?
Augustus-No. Angeina-Ohl
Used to It.-Tommy was visiting a
neighbours At dinner the hostess apol
ogized to him because the table linen
was soiled at his plate. "Oh' that's
nothing" he assured her. promptly;
ours Is worse'n that at home."--
Brooklyn Life.
''That land said the city nephew, ia
valued at $500 a front foot" ''Thun-
dera donw exclaimed the old farmer.
hastily moving back on to the side
walk. "And l stood on 1t most five
minutes! Do you reckon they'll charge
me ent"-Chicago Post.
Among a number Of notes received
by a teacher In excuse for the absence
was the following: Dear Teacher:
Kindly excuse Minnie for having been
absent yesterday, as she fell in the
mud on her way to school. By doing
the same, you will oblige, Her Mother"
They had been engaged a long time.
and one evening were reading the
paper together. Look. look" he ex-
claimed. "only fifteen dollars for suit
of clothesI' as 1t wedding suitT
she asked. looking naively at her lover
"Oh. no" he replied '1t Is business
suit" We'll I meant business" shs
replied.
A military officer went downtown
with his little daughter one morning.
Before long the little lady found herself
unable to keep up with her fathers
swinging stride. and she was obliged 10
cry a halt. please. pa" she said. Il
would like you not to walk so fast,
for | can't keep up with you. Can't
you walk nice and slow like u police
manT
"A woman can't keep secret" de-
clares the mere man. "Oh, / don't
know" retorts the huttery woman;
1--WE kept my age secret since | was
"a" Yes; but one Of these days you
will give 1t away. In time you Will
simply have to tell It." 'Well, think
that when a woman has kept a secret
for twenty years she comes pretty near
knowing how to keep it."-Judge.
During the late Boer war, just after
the fall of Bloemfonteln, soldiers were
called upon, owing 10 the scarcity OF
civilians. to work the railway, The
weary men were lying IN camp one
night. after Il hard days work, when
sergeant called out: ANY OF you wish
to put your name down as railway por-
ters, drivers, stokers, guards, or any
other appointment connected with the.
railway" The silence WAS broken only
by snores Then one of the men slow
ly raised his head Put me down as
a sleeper!" he shouted drowsily.
curious and amusing mixture OF
early piety and worldliness came TO
light in a city school room one day
when the teacher had asked the chill
dren to write on their pads OF paper
something about the profession or 90,
cupation IN which they would like to
engage when they became men and
women. One little girl wrote briefly
but effectively, Il would desire to be II
lady rider at circuss IL 1t was the
Lords will" Another little girl with
equally mixed ideas wrote. Mission,