davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
cEoMETRIcAL BOARDING.
"The Domestic Euclid" Of vassar Col
lege Has Some Singular
Regulations.

} A Kansas girl attending Vassar col
lege sends the following excerpt from
what the students of that institution
call "The Domestic Euclid" states the
Detroit Journal.
Definitions:
/. All boarding houses are the same
boarding house.
2. Boarders in the same boarding
house and on the same flat are equal to
one another.
3. A single room is that which hath
no parts and no magnitude
A. The landlady of the boarding house
is a parallelogram-tha is, an oblong,
angular figure that cannot be described,
and is equal to anything.
5. A wrangle is the disinclination to
each other of two boarders that meet
together, but are not on the same floor.
6. Ali the other rooms being taken, a
single room is said to be double room,
Postulates and propositions:
/. A pie may be produced any number
of times.
g. The landlady may be reduced to
her lowest terms by series of PROPOSE
tions.
8. A heeline may be made from any
boarding house to any other boarding
house
4. The clothes of a boarding house
bed, stretched ever so far both ways,
will not meet.
5. Any two meals at a boarding house
are together less than one square feed.
6. On the same bill and on the same
side of it there should not be two
charges for the same thing,
Z. If there be two boarders on the
same floor, and the amount of side of
the-one be equal to the amount OF sidc
of the other, and the wrangle between
the one boarder and the landlady be
equal to the wrangle between the land
lady and the other boarder, then shall
the weekly bills of the two boarders be
equal. For IL not, let one bill be the
greater, then the other bill is less than
It might have been, which is absurd.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
CURED BY HIS OWN TALK.
When the Young Man Saw His
~ "Boozy Monologue" in Print
He Signed the Pledge.

There goes a young man whom /
saved from going to the dogs through
drink" remarked a court stenogra-
pher, relates the New York Press. He
is tiptop fellow and has plenty of
ability, but two or three years ago he
began to let red liquor get the best OF
him. He had good position at the
time and l don't think he exactly neg
lected his work, but it got to be a
common thing to see him standing
around barrooms in the evening about
two-thirds full and talking foolish. A
few of his intimate friends took the
liberty of giving him quiet hint. As
usual in such cases, he got highly In
dignant and denied point-blank that
he had ever been in the least under
the influence All the same, he kept in
creasing the pace until it became pref
ty easy to predict where he was going
to land, and It was at that stage OF
the game l did my great reformation
act.
II was sitting in an uptown restau-
rant one evening when he came IN
with some fellow and took seat at q
table without seeing me. He was
Just drunk enough to be talkative
about his private affairs and on the
impulse of the moment / pulled out
my notebook and took a full short
hand report of every word he said. 1t
was the usual maudlin rot Of a boozy
man and included numerous very can
did details of the speakers daily life.
"Next morning l copied the whole
thing neatly on the typewriter and
sent it around to his office. In less
than half an hour he came tearing In
to ME with his eyes fairly hanging out
of their sockets.
"'Great heavens, jack he gasped,
what is this, anyhow
"It's stenographic report or your
monoiogue at IS last evening" l
replied, and gave him brief explana-
ton.
"'Did I really talk like that? he
asked, family.
"T assure you it is an absolutely YER
batim report said /.
"He turned pale and walked out and
from that day to this he hasn't taken
drink. His prospects at present are
splendid. All he needed was to near
himself as others heard him."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
burial Of Sir Henry NJ. stanley,

LONDON, May 1S.-The remains of
Sir Henry M. Stanley, who died May 10,
have been buried in the quiet church
yard of the old Surrey village of Pr
bright. Prior to the burial the British
nation and the United States, in the
persons of Ambassador Choate and
Consul General Evans, paid honor to
the departed African explorer with an
impressive funeral service held in
Westminster abbey. "Bula Batari,"
meaning 1.-The Rock Breaker" as the
coffin plate testified Stanley was
known by the African natives, was
taken in an open hearse to the abbey.
The route was lined by crowds of peo-
pie The pallbearers included grand
son of Livingstone, Arthur MounteIfay
Jephson, Stanley's former lieutenant
and the Duke of Abercorn.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
CONDENSED DISPATCHES.

The New Hampshire Republicans
have declared enthusiastically for
Roosevelt.
Bishop Burgess at the Long Island
Episcopal convention pleaded for an
educated ministry.
Three Chicago robbers tried to cap
ture a registered mail wagon, but
failed and escaped.
The United States Rubber company
Of New York has announced a profit
sharing plan with employees.
Resolutions have been introduced in
the New York board of aldermen re-
quiring two motormen on all "L''
trains and two engineers ON all ferry.
boats. =
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
Springfield Deadlock UnbroIeen.

SPRINGFIELD, ILL.,, May 1S.-The
Republican state convention was called
to order with little prospect Of break
in the deadlock. When the Yates dele
gates marched to the convention hall,
headed by band, each delegate wore
on his hat a card reading, you Are
the Eternal Stayers," the first letters
of each word of the sentence spelling
yates" All of the Sherman dele
gates went to Deneen on the thirty
seventh ballot. 1t was as follows:
Ydtes 492; Lowden, 800; Deneen, 450;
Hamlin, Ill; Warner 81; Pierce, %.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
1.-THE HORSE BLEW FIRST"
And His Owner Got the Dose Of Med
icine Intended for the ALL
ing Animal.

An Irishman who owned a sick horse
went to see veterinary doctor up town
some days ago, says the New York
Times.
$50 you've got sick horse, Mike
Well. what's wrong with him?" said the
doctor.
Mike described the beasts symptoms
"Oh. l can fix him up all right with
out seeing him. Here's some powder
you're to give him; but he won't lick 1t
up Take a piece of paper and roll it
up-so-into a cornucopia. Then put
the end of that between his teeth and
pour in the powder; and If 1t doesn't go
down easily, just blow in the other
end"
Armed with the medicine and these
instructions, Mike departed. Next day
he was back at the doctors office
"Well, how's the horse?" inquired the
veterinarian. Better, III guarantee.
Did you do as told you?"
'Shure, an OF did, sor; but the harse
is no better, an Oi'm none too well
mesif, sor."
You're not well? What's the mat
ter with your"
"Well, you see. twuz this way, sor.
OF fixed the pa-a-per the way yez tould
me, an shtuck it betune the harse's
teeth. Thin OF put me mouth to the
other ind to blow, sor"
Eyes; that was all right"
"Och, but it wuzn't, sor."
what was the trouble?"
"The harse blew first, sor."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
nnth Deny GniIt.

BOSTON, May 1S.-The two men
charged with the murder of Sergeant
James Wilson of the Watertown arse
nal in south end saloon have been
held without bail for the grand jury In
the municipal court. One of the men,
who first called himself Harry Il. Hol-
brook, said that he was Harold Ralph
Willard of Whitby, Ont. The second
defendant is William MORAY, twenty
eight, having no home. Both men deny
all knowledge of the crime.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
INTERESTING EXPERIMENT
One That Will Furnish Entertain
ment for the Young at Home
Parties.

A very interesting experiment may be
performed as follows, says Boris Glave
in Simple Science" In st. Nicholas:
With wet lead pencil point draw on
piece of thick paper triangle---wheth-
er the sides are equal or not makes no
difference. Lay It on the surface of a
basin of water with the drawing up, and
very carefully fill the space inside the
dampened lines with water, so that there
will be triangular basin Of water on
the swimming sheet of paper (The
water will not extend beyond the wet
lines OF the drawing.) Now, taking q
pin or a needle, or any thin, smooth,
sharp pointed instrument, dip its point
into this triangular basin, anywhere but
at its center of area-say, very rearly
at one of the angles. Be careful Rot to
touch the paper and so prevent its free
motion In any direction, and you will
find that no matter where the point is
placed, the paper will move on the water
until the center of area comes under the
point This center of area may be indi-
Gated before placing the paper on the
water by drawing lines from any two
angles to the centers of the opposite
sides; where the two lines cross will be
the desired place.
I If square he drawn instead of tri-
angle, and similarly treated, it win
move until the Intersection of its dag
onals comes under the pin point; and no
matter what figure be drawn, it will
move along the water SO as to bring its
center of area directly under the point.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
Getthe Habit

OF dealing with the most reliable jeweler
and optician in this city. Is years of
honest and successful dealings in South
Amboy and over one aud a half years in
this city. The many friends VIC have
made in this city is proof Of our assertion
land still further we will prove to you
by giving the names of the largest and
most reliable manufacturers for whose
goods we are special agents.
Waltham, Elgin, Hamilton, Hampden,
New England and our own brand of
watch movements.
Dubois IA aid IL KIT. solid god hand
male cases, Crescent. Keystone and
Fahy's, in solid gold, gold filled and
silver cases.
Gorham's Sterling Silver, 1S47 Boger &;
Bro. Star Brand Al, r. Wallace, 1885,
Simeon & George, Rogers Co. Al Plated
Ware.
Hawkes. g. Monroe's Cut Glass.
Waterman'S Ideal Fount.tin Pens.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
IOWA REPUBLICANS.



DIES MONIES, Ia, May 1S.-With
the "stand pat'' element of the party
firmly in the saddle, the only problem
which arises before the Republican
state convention, which has opened
here, is the nature of the platform
which will be adopted This has been
the subject of anxious discussion
among the party leaders assembled. 1t
is certain that the platform will con-
tain a plank strongly indorsing the
protective principle. Just what the at
titude on reciprocity will be is still Z
debatable question. 1t now seems prob
able that the convention will adopt a
declaration referring all matters Of tar
iff revision to the national convention
in Chicago.
Particular interest is taken in the at
titude of the party at this time OH ac-
count of the fact that Iowa is the
home of Governor Cummfns, the chief
advocate of the Iowa idea, and because
the "stand patters'' are now in COM
plete control of the state for the first
time in several years. There now seems
little likelihood that the compromise
platform of the past two years will be
adopted again.
1t is generally conceded that Sena-
tors Allison and Dolllver, Governor
Cummins and ]. w. Blythe will be
named as delegates at large to the ma
tional convention.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
saved Little Girls From Death.

NEW YORK, May 1S.-To save the
lives of two little girls who crossed the
street directly in the path of the fire
engine he was driving John b. Heepan
turned the most famous team of horses
in the New York fire department di
rectly into an 81" pillar in Ninth ave
nue. yesterday. Jerry, the might" horse
Of the three horse team of pure whites
who have won many plaudit for theil
beauty during the eight years they
have been racing together to fires and
rrancing in the firemen's parade and
the one of the three best loved by the
men, was killed almost instantly.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
GOOD RULES TO LIVE BY.
Thev Are Not Hard to Follow and
Can Not Fail to Be Produc-
D.. tive of Good.

Here are some rules that are worth
keeping. Cut them out. Put them up
where you can see them. Look at them
every day. They are written by Burgess
Charles II. Pennypacker, of West Ches-
ter, Pa, and published in the Philadel-
phia Ledger:
First Don't get mad. Leave that to
the dogs.
Second. Walk mile day.
Third. Abstain from pork. TeT' 'cws
have cancer, tuberculosis or smallpox.
Fourth. Be clean-in person, abode
and conversation.
Fifth. Eat moderately of good food
Get bread baked at home. Get butter
from some honest farmer Eat all the
apples you can.
Sixth. Don't forget to speak to every
body. The salutation of good remem-
brance is joy to the soul
Seventh. Stand up straight; look peo-
pie in the eye while conversing and
sLeak the truth.
Eighth. Respect age, honor age; treat
all older people courteously. Their
hearts are tender and true, and they wish
you well. Seek the advice of old peo-
pie.
Ninth. Get to Heaven by staying at
home and making your Heaven there.
Make comrades of your children. You
don't need to go from home to get good
fellowship. No club, no society can sup
ply the place of the fireside, by the even
ing lamp at home.
Tenth. Sleep in a well ventilated
room doors and windows wide Oman
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
Did Not Want Hot Water.

BOSTON, May 1S.-The supreme
court has decreed that the American
Steel and Wire company must pay the
verdict recovered against it in the su-
pany of Worcester. The suit was
brought by the ice company to recover
for the destruction of its ice crop
through the action of the wire COM
pany in turning into Salisbury pond,
Worcester. large quantities of hot wa
ter from its factory. Justices Loring,
Hammond and Braley dissented from
the majority opinion, holding that the
wire company had right under its
lease to turn hot water into the pond.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
subpocpocd In Gnmbiinr Case.

ST. LOUIS, May 1S. - The April
grand jury has issued subpoenas for
Governor Dockery and Excise Commits
sioner Seibert. Circuit Attorney Han
cock decided not to serve the subpoe-
mas on Governor DoclSery, but had a
lengthy conversation with him by tele-
phone. The governor, 1t is said, was
asked to stop the gambling in st. Lou
is county and in reply promised to do
all In his power.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
Baked Cheese Pudding.

Two cupfuls broken crackers or stale
bread, one cupful grated cheese, one
tablespoonful butter, salt, and pepper to
taste. Butter baking dish and put in
it alternately layers of crackers and
cheese. dust of salt and pepper, and
some bits of-the butter. When the dish
is full pour in sufficient cold milk to two
thirds fill the dish, and bake As minutes
in a hot oven. Chicago Tribune.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
Fortune-Telling.

$50 you think you could read my fu-
ture If l would let you hold my hand?"
asks the maiden.
"Well. don't you think It shows more
consideration for you than to 80 out
and figure on the stars?" he asked
Ten minutes later he was holding her
hand and his own future had been set
tled.-Judge.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
Looks Like Mayor speer.

DENVER, May is. Incomplete re
turns indicate the election of Robert
w. Speer Dem.) to the office of mayor
by at least 5000 majority. The Repub-
licans claim, however that complete re
turns will show the election Of John
w. Springer (Rep).
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18

HOPKINSVILLE, Ky, May 49,
Rev. J. G.. Murray, rector of st. Mi
chael's church, Baltimore, has beer
chosen bishop of the Kentucky dio
tese, Episcopal church, to succeed the
fate Bishop Thomas Underwood Dud
ley,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
Tribe of Ben-IIur In Session.

CHAWFORDSyILLE, Ind, May 1s.
The quadrennial meeting of the SUI
preme tribe of Ben-Hur has begun its
sessions here, several hundred dele
gates being present from twenty-fOur
states.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
silver Lake Bank FaiIed.

SILVER LAKE, Ind, May 1S.-The
Commercial bank, owned by Adam
Stout & Sons, has closed its doors here.
The owners say all depositors will be
paid in full. The bank is capitalized
at $500, and its deposits are said to
exceed $25,000.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
IN JEWELRY

We keep only that which we can safely
guarantee. Every article which we sell
is guaranteed and we will cheerfully re-
turn the money on exchanged goods il
not entirely satsfact ory
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
Earthauake In Ecuador.

Earthquake In Ecuador.
GUAYAQUIL, Ecuador, May 1S.-A
slight earthquake shock has been felt
here. The Colombian gunboat Bogota
has returned here.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18
A SIMPLE SUMMER FROCK.

This is an appropriate design for a sim
pie white frock to.wear at the seashore in
the summer. This frock is very simple,
and can be easily laundered The trim
Perth Amboy evening news., 1904-05-18

ming is OF Valenciennes inserting, fro m
under which the fabric is cut w ~.
The girdle on the figure is made of three
narrow strands of Dresden taffeta, with
small tuck on the end of each. The
other is of wide Dresden ribbon, orna-
mented with fancy buttons.
The Yale expositor., 1904-10-14
FRED NJ. WARMERS
MANLY SPEECH
UPRIGHT AND HONEST I'M
FLUENCES ALONE WILL
CONTROL HTSACTTONS.
HE WILL BE A SERVANT OF THE
PEOPLE, NOT A POLITICAL
BOSS OR PARTY DC
TATOR.
IS A REPUBLICAN AND NOT AFRAID TO SUPPORT R0OsE-
WELT FOR PRESIDENT.

From The Detroit Free Press. Sept. l6:
Fred NJ. Warner, the Republican can
didate for governor, was given a splen.
did reception at the state fair Thurs
day afternoon and he delivered a ring
ing speech which met general ap-
proval. Mr.. Warner said:
1T is not necessary for-me to say
here, in the presence of many who
have personally known me during the
greater part of my life, that | am not
an orator or a speesh maker. | much
appreciate the possession OF the gift
which permits man 10 express, easily
and well, his thoughts on current
topics before such an assemblage as
this, and to urge, in well selected
words and sentences, the principles he
represents and the policies he hopes to
have maintained. 1t happens, how
ever, that the line of work which it has
seemed my duty to follow, gave little
opportunity to me to become familiar
with the ways of the platform or 70
The Yale expositor., 1904-10-14
HAVEN'T HEARD OF THESE.

In their zealous efforts to seek out
persons who have recently changed
their political convictions for personal
reasons and avowed their purpose IN
support candidates OF the opposition.
why do not The Detroit newspapers
call attention 70 tho very important
additions which have been recently
made to the supporters OF the Republi-
can state ticket? VIII r. Hampton,
brother OF Charles Hampton, of The
Democratic state central Committee
Henry @. VANITY of the Muskeeon
News, and the several other longtime
Democratic editors of Michigan who
are now supporting Fred Warner and
the entire Republican state ticket are
mere significant than the persons
whom the Detroit papers are exploit
ing. many OF whom have been voting
the Democratic ticket during the past
eight years
The Yale expositor., 1904-10-14
WHO is BEING ROBBEDf

Where Are the Sufferers From the
Protective TRrin systems
The Republican ticket represents tariff
robbery.-Johnstown Democrat
Who is being robbed by the tariff?
Certainly not the hundreds of thou
sands of workmen employed in the
protected Industries and their families,
and certainly not the other hundreds
Of thousands and their families who
depend for a livelihood upon enter
prises that are prosperous only as the
protected industries are prosperous.
Surely it cannot be the farmers of the
great west who are the unfortunate
victims OF the much bruited fby the
Democratic press tariff robbery, nor
can it be our fellow citizens of the
south. When in the history of this ma
ton were the working people of the
country so prosperous as they have
been under this same robber tariff?
When did they live so well and enjoy
the pleasures and refinemcnts of life
so muchf Where else i'm the world to-
day do workingmen earn so much, en-
joy so great privileges and count for
so much in the social, political, Indus
trial and financial life of their country
as they do rigkt here in tariff protect
ed America?
Who, then, is being robbed? The
manufacturing east, the agricultural
west and the newly awakened south
are all prospecting famously under the
protected tariff. The workingman and
the capitalist are alike making money
and enjoying life. Who or what re-
mains to be the victim of the so called
robbery? Is the tariff n robber?
Should it not be said, rather, that ex-
cepting the sound money policy 1t is
the most beneficent principle ever In
PRODUCED into American political and
economical life? - McKeesport Pa)
Times.
The Yale expositor., 1904-10-14
INDUSTRIAL CALAMITY.
Enactment of Democratic Tariff
Ideas Would Create a Panic.

Enactment of Democratic Tariff
Ideas Would Create a Panic.
\ feature Of the st. Louis platform
which is striking and almost sensation
al and which has thus far failed to
demand the attention which It de-
serves is this; I'VE denounee protec-
ton as a robbery of the many to en-
rich the few" The logical corollary
of that proposition is that the Demo
cratic party stands for tariff for rev.
enue only, that If the Democracy could
arrange a schedule of duties it would
make an adjustment that would yield
the biggest revenue and that would ig-
more the question of protection against
the cheap labor of Europe and that
the party is practically committed 10
the doctrine of free trade.
Suppose that tariff squaring to the
Democratic theory that protection Is
robbery were adopted. What intelli-
gent person can fail to foresee the tre-
mendous shock that such a piece Of
legislation would give to American in
dustry? The resulting unsettlement
would create an immediate commercial
crisis. No greater Industrial calamity
could fail on the United States than
the enactment of a tariff adjusted to
the st. Louis platform contention that
protection is robbery.
Post
The Yale expositor., 1904-10-14
THE PRICE OF SUGAR.
Increased since Tariff on Cuban
Product Was Reduced.

increaEed since Tariff on Cuban
Product Was Reduced.
All grades of refined sugar have ad-
vanced cents a hundred pounds.-New
York Evening Post.
And a comparison with a year ago
shows that prices are up 10 cents
hundred pounds over last August.
Now the Evening Post proves in every
edition that not the Sully corner, but
the Dingley law, raised the price of
cotton last winter to a point where it
closed the mills, and that not the pack
ers' strike, but the Dingley law, has
increased the price Of meat. or course
also the reduction Of the tariff duties
on sugar from Cuba was all going into
the pockets of the consumers. They
were not to pay as much as they had
been paying for sugar. They were to
pay less. But after the duties on Gu
ban sugar were reduced the consumers
actually pay more. There is nothing
to equal the hard luck of profession
al free trade organ.-New York Press.