davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03
A NEW AFTER DINNER WIT


knows it ala most formidable anon
aly-and the crowd that cheers but does
not discriminate, and thes obtrusively
American crowd, TO whom a CompIf-
ment must be paid. SIMILAR to that OF
the French landlord, peFhaps, who dis
played the sign. English spoken.
American understood There are all
sorts and conditions of listeners. and
they are all human, though in different
ways. 1t is a speakers business To find
the ways"
That, like many other things, Mr..
Murphy says. shows the general keen
ness Of his observation and the worth
Of mis- wit. There is none of the con-
ventional, after-dinner. rhetorical Jug
Cling about it. It's nothing more than
pretty good sense, which would be, first,
laUgh-provOking and then appealing to
the judgment Of those who could hear
AIr. Murphy say it.
There are few successful men limited
TO what they can do wei, and Mr.
Murphy cannot only. talk at a dinner.
but he can sell leather goods and play
/ in golf tournaments. and speak five
I languages. Il have no political aspira-
tions, however" says Mr. Murphy.
/ Mr.. Murphy has also the rare gift
fOf saying nothing. Il once addressed
+ a WOman's league in Corr" ne said
/ and of course I had to say nothing for
/ the full limit Il was hard, but the la
dies enjoyed it ard afterward gave me
4 tea. One kindly young lady said she
/ adoTed men that were really deep and
sc jolly drol. I had talked for time
( on livery accommodations in Venice and
ended with my pet sagaciJy, retro
spection is most useful before the
event.
Mr. Murphy never smiles, though he
seems always Just about to- Nor does
he affect the stOicaI cOuntenaEee as be-
ing the most discreet for humOr He
looks always very natural and good
hammered and pleased that others seem
to enjoy what he says-whieh is the
best way he could look, OF course. In
these days, too, there are those who
think a man ~soo can speak and be a
linguist and somewhat Of a student OF
his fellows. and stiil keep his hand pref
ty strong in downtown business is 1l
to be saluted with some enthusiasm.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03

lie. But. gentlemen many things. can
be bought with money. If money IS
not all, it takes a gentleman with
money to find it out"
And then. again. Mr.. Carnegie, the
Star Spangled Scotchman-a humOrist
in money" Any ore would laugh at
that. because it is good humor, partic-
ularly as Mr.. Murphy says it; but it
would be clumsy head indeed not &C.
+ see the peFtinency of the remark, and
: the snap and insight of the mind behind
/ it There is no cooking the eye at the
gallery or Difference TO the horse laugh,
no comic business at all; but 4 good
IDEAL of thought, expressed in a clever,
I catching way, which holds the double
virtue Of tickling the hUmor and the in
ttelhgence.
4 To appreciate the ''bon mots" of Mr..
Murphy by reading them would be like
la approaching "Parsifal" by the piano
Z Sc Gre To forget how BIr. Murphy looks
when he talks and how he makes use,
perhaps uncOnsciOusly, of his personal
lily, Just as he would of any other serv-
|iceabla material. is to forget the subtle
cause Of his power. Those who know
the Irish gentleman aside from the
colric paper type-the fine, rugged sort
that are seen with high hats and gold
tipped stats in old prints-wiH recog-
nize in Mr.. Murphy striking type
I When Mr. Murphy talks he looks his
part You are ready TO smile before he
/ speaks. and you feel the stamp Of his
ipe lity-you scarcely know why
in his face and his words.
! He has often spoken before in this
country: at different clubs in Boston
where he lived for several years, ane
in this city at the dinner recently giveT
to Andrew Carnegie, and he knows tbs
tricks of the trade. vanity. vanity.
he has remarked. Perhaps omnes IS
ivanitas: but IL we hadn't the vanitie.
Of life half the world would be with
out employment.
Not to measure your listeners ant
to play to human nature-whieh afte
ali. is the same IN al reasonable erea
lures. and whatever meets with its ap
provaI viii always be received viii
adniration-is TO please everybody bu
lyourself.
There is the man who thinks n
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03

New York Commercial Advertiser)
A new after-dinner speaker has been
discovered. and his name is Patrick f.
Murphy His time is taken by demands
on his pOst-prandial art; and invita-
tons are coming in by every mail from
some club OreOther that wants a clever
talker at the table. and has heard that
AIr. Murphy is a new and exceptional
one. In the first place, he is Irish, and
that covers d deal besides birth. 7
was born in Edinb0rO. County of Cork,
England, says he, with a name that
IS distinctly and deliciously Ifibernian'
Then he was graduated from Trinity
college, Dublin, where, as Dean Swift
said. speakers are made to speak
Like the undergraduates who had an
Indignation meeting against the fathers,
and one moderate young chap said, Let
US rot forget. boys, that these men are
our fellows, so would I claim for you
protection, a stranger to most of you.
with nothing to recommend TO you but
the Caucasian race and male sex"
This was Mr. Murphy's introduction.
graceful and pleasantly untrue. AS a
speaker to whom it is a pleasure simply
TO listen because of the certain ease
and melody Of phrase, and the charm
of personality that eE1ers into it, Mr..
Murphy is splendid. He has spoken all
. his life, he says-a habit like to the
Highlanders' teddy: and though the
horse show luncheon was his entree,
there are now more than fifty invita-
tions IN his desk to speak again
Mr. Murphy has the manner and
grace ard power OF turning a neat line
HIS most distinctive characteristic,
however. is not so much the way he
says things as what he says. He never
dsllies with pure nonsense, DerslfaSe
for its own sake is rot considered. Per
haps nothing IS more striking. nor OF
more real value in the absolute measure
of his art, than the fact that Mr.. Muir
ply is funny ard yet instructive. thai
while his hearers laugh first, they think
after. that there is more humor in his
remarks than wit, and more philosophy
+ than banter.
ssNr. Rockefeller says he. 'stha'
tSoung Lochinvar Of the west. incidents
any mentions that money is not all il
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03
spoiling Their Fun.

philadelphia Public Ledger
"The idea." exclaimed the Disguised
housekeeper. "of having flies in DecemT
her. I wish / could get rid OF them.
You might do it." replied her bald
headed husband. 'by spreedfug a re-
port among them that you're Going to
give ne n wig for Christmas.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03

Few persons realize how much big
ger and stronger the United States
navy IS now than it was at the time Of
the war with Spain. Everybody knows
what the navy did in that war-how il
swept the fleets Of Spain from the seas
and astOnished the carping European
critics. Today the American navy is
three times as big and three times as
strong as il was then besides being i'm
msasurably better in other respects.
And yet only a beginning has been
. made on the naval programme which
must be carried out to enable the Unit
ed States TO keep what il has got and
maintain its place as a world power.
This duplication Of the navy in num-
hers and power in the past five years
IS slI the more remarkable because. the
Spanish war is the only one the. United
States ever fought at the close Of which
the navy-nO matter how important the
part II had played in the struggle-was
not permitted 10 fan into neglect and
decay.
At the outbreak Of the war with
spain we had ffty-eight Warships OF all
classes. Today. counting vessels ready
for service and those which could be
placed in commission with little delay.
we have feet numerbing 1S2. These
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03

New York Press.)

This table shows how the navy has
grown in fighting ships since the be-
ginning of the Spanish-American war:
May, Present
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03

A DAUGHTER OF THE NEW REFUBLlo.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03

2 LITTLE lhSURoENT.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-01-03

LTHOUGH there is new flag in Panama, and
the affairs Of state are in new hands. life rolls
on in its accustomed way. The bells in the old
towers t-reD calling *Fa faithful "a tF,-ar- tor,e-
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
ORANGES IN NEW YORK
What Prices They Commanded This
Week in That City

Information from New York is to the
effect that on Wednesday offerings of
Florida oranges included 1900 boxes.
The market was easy, and rather weak.
though not materially lower than on
the preceding day. Demand was large
ly local. there being little interest from
outside markets. On fancy fruits. sales
reached 1915 per box. with occasional
lots going higher. On choice the range
WAS from s1.o5 to s2.25 Low grades
we:- easy. with some lots below 81 per
box Offerings of California oranges
Included seven carloads mostly navels.
Demand for fancy fruit was fair. and
som. lots sold above SO per box. with
range Of S." to that figure on fancy.
'h"i,. WAS easy. Porto Ric" oranges
v...r.- Easy. and somewhat neglected.
offerings included 80 boxes There
MAS :, fair demand for tangerines.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
BADLY OUT OF REPAIR
The Tampa Hotel Will Cost Thousands
Of Dollars to Fix It Up

Those who are i'm a position to know.
declare that the amount of repairs
needed i'm and on the Tampa Bay HO-
lei will amount to almost the price of
any ordinary hotel. The property is
badly run down in Il great many ways,
and before it can be used to any adj
vantageS large sums of money will be
necessary to put ii in shape. This is
understood TO be one of the main rea-
Sons why the house is closed. If it is
nm this season the cost of putting ii
IN the proper shape would be enOr-
.louS. hence it is closed. OF course the
grounds and building is not meant. but
the trouble is on the inside. This is
something worth investigating.-Tam
ia Herald.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
JUST LIKE TWO EDITORS
Greene and Lawson Met. Smiled. Shook
Hands, and, Probably, Took
Drink

BOSTON. Mass. Dec. 11.-While Col
the copper Mining Company. was eat
ing breakfast 1T the TOuraine Hotel
morning. Thomas w. Law
son sent in his card to the gentleman
who had over his own signature called
names. and then waited i'm the hotel
for nearly an hour before Greene ap-
ed. schook hands and Went to suite
of rooms on the fifth floor Of the hotel.
occupied by Greene.
Greene's letter was published i'm four
New York papers and required half {,
page in each. II was brutally abusive.
aud closed as follows: To show the
people what dirty dog and coward
and denounce you in front of your Of
flee
H'" u WIS h'ii'"i''V" 'h''' 'iee'ie
had reached Boston. thousands of per
sons crowded in front of LawSonS Of
flee. but neither of the capitalists WAS
seen. as Lawson had gone To- the hotel
Lawson and Greene had been fight :
ing each other on opposite sides of the
market Recently. and Greene lost a lO'
of money.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
OF INTEREST TO MOTHERS

YER &C Group. Most of them could have
been saved by few doses Of Foley's
Ho:ey and Tar. AID every family with
children should k..p il in the house 1t
contains 10 opia,es and is safe and
sure. Mrs. George H. Picket San
Francisco. Cal. writes: My baby had
a dangerous attack Of Group and We
thought she would choke 10 death. but
80 i"ae o: Foley's Honey and Tar re-
::sv@.. n: 81 once after other remedies
IA! failed. We ara neva- a minute
rri.hr,:c = =: Ihe house" SOLD b. he
H.-.ot..c= Drugstore.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
0LD-FhSHI0NED PUNISHMENT
Angry Women Ducked a Man Who
Talked Too Crooked IL Not
Too Much.

Washington. n. j., Dec. II. - Taking
the law into their own hands. a dozen
or more OF the young women of Wash
ington today constituted themselves a
police force. judge and jury, and en-
powered themselves to carry out the
punishment which they decreed for a
man. The punishment was "ducking."
and never did ducking stool of olden
time work more readily under weight
Of village scOld than did the hands of
the Washington girls when they were
laid on the back and shoulders of G. B.
Meyer. The fact that the water was
near the freezing point and the air be-
low il did not soften the hearts Of the
village maids and Meyer had to sit be-
fore blazing fire in a neighbOring
house for more than hour before he
Was rhawed out.
Meyer came here about two weeks
ago and told the girls how they could
easily earn s. a week i'm their spare
moments. All they had to do was tC
give him 81 for lessons or material OF
something. and the fives would flow in
Twenty girls paid for the lessons OF
whatever they were To get. Meyer al
so went To oxford and formed a class
there. In neither place was work pro.
vided for any of the girls. nor did they
receive any instruction.
Mover came to Washington thi:
morning. and Anna and Theresa Elan
agan. who had joined his class to carr
pin money for Christmas met him a.
he stepped off the train. Without Z
! word they grabbed him. rushed him il
an empty box car and locked the door
Then they hunted up Il half score Othel
! members of the class. Returning Il
! the car they took out their prisoner
hustled him to stream near by anC
tumbled him heels over head into thu
| water. He was ducked half IA dOzei
times in successiqH When the girl
left him he went to house and driet
out. Then he bought ticket fo
Scranton ana took the first train gOin,
/ that way.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
NO CASE OF
PNEUMONIA ON RECORD

We do not know of a single instance
where 4 cough or cold resulted in pneu-
mOnia or consumption when Foley's
Honey and Tar had been taken. 1t
cures coughs and colds perfectly, so do
not take chances with some unknown
preparation which may contain opiates.
which cause constipation. a condition
that retards recovery from a cold. Ask
for Foley's Honey and Tar and refuse
any substitute offered. Sold by the
Postoffice Drugstore.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
7 ". SMITH \ co.
GENERAL HARDWARE.
A HAPPY SURPRISE

Is in store for every woman who is
looking for a thoroughly up-to-date.
efficient and absolutely satisfactory
kitchen range. We nave 1t right here
in our store, ready for your inspec-
ton. 1t is the latest range IN the mar
ket. and combines rne newest and fin
est improvements in saving OK fuel and
readiness in cooking.
Also a carload Of heaters and stoves
of all kinds. from $3.50 up.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17

Pure fresh milk and cream al the
Fort King Dairy.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
BILIOUS COLIc PREVENTED

Take a dOuhfe dose of Chamberlain'S
Collie. Cholera and DiarrhOea Remedy
as soon as the first indication Of the
disease appears and n threatened at
tack may be warded off. Hundreds of
people use the remedy in this way with
perfect success. Sold by all druggists.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
THAT THRoBBING HEADACHE

Would quickly leave you if you used
pr. Kings New Life Pills. Thousands
of sufferers have proved their match
less ravi, for Sick and Nervous Head
acres. They make pure blood and
build III your health. Only c5c. Mon
ey hack Il not cured. Sold by the Anti
Monopoly Drugstore.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
HEART FLUTTERlNG

Cndigested food and gas in the stom-
ach, located just below the heart, press
es against it and causes heart palpita-
ton. When your heart troubles you in
that way take Herbine for a few days
You will soon be all right soc. Sold
by the Anti-MonOpOly Drugstore.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17
WANTON MURDER In SUMTER
A Negro Brute Kills His Wife for
Laughing at Him-Aimost Shot
Her Head OF

Saturday night Will Robinson. ne
gro. shot and instantly killed his wife
at Edenfield for laughing at him. They
had a festival. and after most Of the
guests had departed. they. Robinson
and his wife. we're sitting on a trunk
and Robinson struck the woman with
his fist. She laughed at him and said:
You don't treat me right" He got
quite angry because she laughed at
him and got his shotgun and told her
if she laughed at him again he would
kill her. She laughed and he shot her.
The entire load entered at the throat
and came out at the back of the neck
almost severing the head from the
body.
The negro left and went to Sam BesS
a colored man at PanasOffkee. and told
him about il and tried to induce Sam
20 help him off Sam told him he had
better sell the gun and offered to buy
il from him. They traded and wher
sam got possession of the gun he inn
me diately threw it on the negro an(
marched him up and delivered him t
the authorities. For this Sam Bes:
deserves credit.-Sumterville Times.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1904-12-17

III Svls-f.-'n n-g,..~ i. NJ Y"rk
nd Philadelphia compose a larg-r
.-.s> E tao~- asking t"- fuel far
: his winter 81 charitable Societies and
>-rarG. - say il is gwen with great
-..uc;anI@.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-09-20
GENERAL LINEvIrcH.

eieff as commander in chief OF the
army. the latter's resignation. etc, but
investigations indicate that the above
Is the real situation. Alexeieff will
continue to be yieeroy, and as such be
could not be subordinated in title to
the commanding general which would
happen II Kuropatkin was given the
title Of commander In chief Never
theless Kuropatkin will virtually be IN
complete, untrammeled command
Alexsieff Still Head Commander
AS has been heretofore stated on
high authority, the stories -of Alex
eien's interference with Kuropatkin
are entirely without foundation on
the contrary Alexeieff has always
shown the utmost appreciation Of the
peculiar delicacy Of his position as XII
fopatkin's superior, studiously avoid
ing even the semblance of interference
with the operations Of the Manchurian
army
The writer II authorized to again de-
ny absolutely the story that Rear Ad-
miral Prince Ouktomsky has been
court martialed 1t is positively stated
that he has never been under arrest
at Port Arthur and that there has new
er been d question Of MS trial by court
martial He has simply been super
seeded by Rear Admiral Wren ii the
temporary command Of the Port Ar
thur squadron. which Oukf0gnsky took
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-09-20
United states shlnbuilainn sale.

Bath Me-, Sept q. - party Of
tinanclers Interested Id the United
States Shipbuildiug company, including
Charles NJ. Schwab, former head Of
the corporation. and James Smith, Jr..
the receiver, arrived here 70 attend the
foreclosure sale by Receiver James
Smith Of the local property Of the COM
pany The plants to be sold were the
Bath Iron works and the Hyde Wind
lass works, both Of which were absorb.
ed by the shipbuilding company upon
fits organization and have been operat-
ed by the receiver since the collapse Of
the company.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-09-20
ROOSEVELT TO VETERANS.
Prizes Their comra5eship In Letter to
Commander II Chief English.

rflzeS tnStf Comra1e1fip N Letter 10
Commander II Chief English
ST Louis. Sept 29-The FIRST annual
encampment Of the United Spanish
War Veterans commenced at the
worlds fair grounds. The following
letter was received by Commander lii
Chief William L. English from presi
dent Roosevelt:
Il thank YOU for your very kind and
thoughtful invitation, and let me at
the outset congratulate you and tie
Spanish war veterans that you are
commander in chief l wish it were in
my power to be present and meet you
and my other comrades of the United
Spanish War Veterans. II would give
me peculiar pleasure to do so. would
certainly be present If 1t were possible
for me at this time to go anywhere.
and the fact that it is impossible
causes me genuine regret.
THE men who in 1898 volunteered
ait their country's call showed that
they had In them the same spirit that
actuated their fathers in 1861. The
task was easy and needed the exertion
of but a fraction Of this nations gi-
gantic strength but the way it was
done showed what the nation could do
if the need was more urgent.
my eomradeship in the United
Spanish War Veterans is something
that | prize more highly than l can
well say, and ! wish godspeed to all
at their first national encampment as
well as to their comrades who are I'M
able to attend"
Following the reading Of President
Roosevelt's letter short addresses were
made by Harold c. McGrew of Indian
apolis. Colonel Russell B. Harrison Of
indianapolis. Major ]. c. Dusenbury
of Chicago Judge Hamilton Ward of
Buffalo and Captain j. A. Weleh of
Taunton, Mass.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-09-20
DEMOCRATIC GOSSIP.
Makeup Of New York State Ticket
Is Still Unsettled.
MAY NOMINATE SHEPARD.
Undercurrent of Opinion That Demo-
cratic Leaders Win Finally Agree to
Name the 5rooklynite Tassart
Leaves Chicago For New York.

Saratoga, n. Y, Sept 20.-W Whether
the Democratic state convention which
opens here at noon tomorrow is to be
an open convention or whether the
selection of the state ticket will be
made in conferences 10 be held tonight
by the leaders representing the various
interests involved Is as yet an unset
tied question. Upon it in large meas
ure depend the subordinate questions
Of the duration of the convention and
the general atmosphere which shall
surround it. Many of those gathered
here even went so far as to say that
the ticket itself, to a considerable ex-
tent, depends upon whether the various
candidates for governor are actually
balloted upon III open convention or
whether. through agreement before
hand, only one name is presented for
consideration by the delegates. Prac-
tically all the candidates are holding
off, awaiting d decision upon this ques
ton
Edward NJ Shepard, whose name is
prominently mentioned by many now
on the ground to head the ticket, is not
here and his friends do not expect
him to attend the convention at an
The attitude Of Senator McCarren and
the Kings county delegation is re-
garded by Mr. Shepard's friends as
having an important bearing upon tile
manner III which bis name Will be pre-
scented as well MS upon the selection
Of the man who is to present his name.
In the ordinary course Of events he
would be nominated by a delegate
from his own county Of Kings. but III
Senator McCarren insists upon tie
presentation Of the name Of Comp
troller Edward NJ. Grout. as it is said
he intends to do. Mr.. Sheparl's eandi-
dacy may he presented by d represent
alive Of Tammany Hall In like man
ner, the candidacy Of John B. Stanch.
field of Elmira awaits presentation III
form modified to-snit the conditions
which may develop
Individual claims are being forward
ed with as much yigor as If the friends
OF each candidate intended to support
them even to forcing a ballot in the
convention. but at the same time there
Is considerable talk among conserva
tives of securing such action as win
prevent this result There seems to be
an undercurrent Of opinion that there
may finally be an agreement to nomi-
nate Edward M Shepard
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1904-09-20
Admiral Converse Reports.

Washington. Sept ~ Rear Admiral
George a. Converse chief Of the bu-
reau Of navigation, has arrived at the
navy department again after months
leave Of absence spent at his old home
in Norwich, At The admiral il great
" benefited by his rest and Will at
once take up with the secretary a
number Of important questions These
include the selection Of a successor to
Rear Admiral Barker, commander in
chief of the north Atlantic station,
who retires next March; the reorgan-
ization Of the north Atlantic feet and
the arrangement of the battleship
squadron III two divisions.