The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1904-09-25
Odd Types on an Ocean Liner;
Characters Net on One Trip

the nervous passenger is trying to dress
in the dark. II he has 10 so to the bot
tom he wants to go fully dressed. sud
denly he STOPS
Hey he yells Hey. SarI' some
body's broke in here and cu5 tSe legs
out of my trousers-my gray trousers
They had legs in them when I took them
on last night and now
Sam sits up, reaches over, turns on
the electric light and there stands the
nervous passenger in the middle OF the
foor trying for dear life 70 get his legs
into the srmhoies of his vest He tells
Sam if he keeps it quiet M Il pay his
expenses in Paris.
Not Easy to Be Gallant.
The gallant passenger has intentions
Of the best. Everybody hates a man
whose intentions are Of the best, and
there is a certain place paved with such
intentions The gallant passenger comes
up from late breakfast 10 the library,
selects the third volume of Carlyle's
French Revolution" and is vending
his way 10 a corner seat when a huge
sea crashes aboard. Everyone reaches
for support. The gallant passenger
lays hold Of the back OF a reversible
seItee- Ten seconds later he and Cur
lyle are perched on the gable end of a
fat woman's lap
He apologies and then hastens 10 the
aid OF The fuffy-haired girl, who seems
to be in trouble He is just bending
over and asking her where she feels
the pain most, when the nO0lc ship
gives a glorious Iurch The gallant
passenger rises i've feet into the air ana
lands on the far side Of the room di-
Z nj. r,r sr- -.
bulrushes
Girl With Fluffy Hair
The girl with the fuzzy hair says she
wouldn't have missed travelling on the
same ship with the gallant passenger
for worlds.
The observing passenger sees more
things than a man with the delirium
tremens He waits until everyone is
comfortably seated at luncheon Then
he comes flying down. sticks his head
into the saloon and yells-
Whale! whale. Hey, there's a whale
out here. Come on 10 and look at
him."
The entire saloon rushes up in BODY.
When it gets on deck there's not a
thing TO be seen. A vagrant breeze is
ruffiing the sea. and the sunlight burns
away TO a turquoise ribbon OF mist.
Maybe, he's gone down TO get a
drink" says the observing passenger
doubtfuIIy. wait a minute he'll bs
DIP
But nobody waits. and for the rest Of
the trip the observing passenger VOL
ders why he's disliked.
Trouble for Fat Man.
The fat passenger has a double chin
g
wrong stateroom. The pretty girl who
has secured her stateroom months ahead
is laboring under the delusion that she
has been abused. misused and done a
disservice. The second day out she IS
endeavorins TO make her toilet, is eX-
periencing difficulties and proceeding
mlserably. Her hairpins have become
beautifully mixed in those humble and
| careless curls of hers and while both
hands are busy Strengthening out he
tangle the ship pitches and many things
happen. Her powder goes into the wash
stand. her steamer trunk falls out Of
the upper berth with a horrible crash.
she steps on her own feet and the room
looks as If it had been hit by the tail
of a southwestern cyclone.
Just at the height OF the trouble the
fat passenger cautiously opens the door.
peers in and asks the pretty girl IL
she'll excuse him. The pretty girl
screams and the fat passenger retreats.
He gives up all hope of ever getting his
own stateroom. rather desperately rush
es On deck and fiops down so heavily
on somebody else's steamer chair that
the seat gives way The owner Of the
chair comes along and says things to
the fat passenger that eternally shatter
the pleasant memories Of a well-spent
life