The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-07-03

Admiral Schlev. who has completed
and VIII soon publish his memoirs.
served IN the Orient some thirty years
ago.
The japanese said Admiral Schley
recently, fight in a way we can't un-
derstand- All these eastern races. for
lnat matter, fight differently from Us.
i remember the case of an Afreedee
that British officer once told me
aDouL. He said that in a certain cam
paign against the Afreedees a number
Of the natives themselves took sides
with the whites, fighting their own
people.
The Afreedee in question was one Of
those turncOats. He stood one morn
ing behind rock hopping about with
great activity and firing shot after shot
At a figure dim in the distance
Cant you hit that man. said the
officer. drawing near.
No. sar' answered the Afreedee- I
see him, but he dam hard TO hit he
IS. sar. hardest man to hit ] know
Oh said the officer, YOU know
him. do you2'
'Oh. yes. sar. I know dam rascal
well
Who Is be2' the other asked
1.-THE Afreedee fired another shot at
the distant figure. Then he replied;
old dam rascaI-he my father.
Senator Scott. who is a West Virgin
ian now but an Ohio man by birth.
tells a story about an experience an
Ohio man had many years ago when
he went over to West Virginia On q
little pleasure excursion, says the
Washington Post. II was Old Virginia
at the time however. as this happened
before the Civil war. The Ohio man
had z red back dollar, a part of the
currency of his state, and was cOnsid-
cred good. He stopped at place Of
refreShment and got drink. The
whisky was drawn out of a beg and
served I'm a tin cup When the liquid
had been swallowed he laid down his
red back" and the bartender diVed
under the bar and brought out six coon
skins. five fox skins and ten muskrat
skins and passed them over for change.
The Ohio man did not want to show
his ignorance of Virginia currency. so
he took up the pelts and walked away.
But he wanted to establish values if
possible, and went into another saloon
and laid down a fox skin Without
saying "A word the man behind the bar
gave him a muskrat and five rabbit
skins As the load was increasing in
size. he concluded that he would soon
have more than he could carry, 50 he
went back To the first place and laid
down the whole lot. saying:
Here. give me another drink Take
all these. I've had all the experience
] want"
Tor the Ohio side of the river.
Mrs Letitia Tyler Semple. who was
mistress of the White House durinS
President TyleT's administration. has
Just celebrated in Washington her SD
birthday.
The statesman I liked best in my
youth was Daniel Webster" Mrs Sem
pie said recently He was a handsome
man and he talked well I remember
n banquet one night when the subject
of death and dying came up, and Mr..
Webster told us a story that was half
funny and half pathetic.
He said that an old woman lay very
ili and after a time she went off into a
trance. She lay 50 still in this trance
that they thought the end had come,
and when she opened her eyes again
at last her husband said to her I'm a
surprised tone;
why, Mandy, we thought ye wuz
dead
The poor woman looked at her
husband a moment and then she burst
into tears.
An We never bawled a bit she
sobbed- 'Ye thought 1 wUz dead and
yer eyes wuz dry. Couldn't We have
bawled "A little bit. Jabez2'
The old man was deeply moved, and
he did actually bawl then. But his
wife said sadly:
IS It's too late now. Dry yer eyes. IF
I'd really been dead and ye'd bawled
'twOuld have done me some good. But
it's too late now
Senator Quay was fond Of telling a
story of an experience at a country I
hotel near Pittsburg- Hanging on the
wall ia the paTlor was an inscription. I
lei on Darle Francois"
The senator Noticed the inscription. /
and, turning 10 the proprietor, said.
DO YOU speak French"
No replied the proprietor United
States viii do for me-
We'll. then" said Quay, why do y0u
have that notice on the Wal12 That
means French is spoken here
Wei. III be blamed if a young chap /
didn't sell that TO me for motto God I
bless our home.' " answered the aston !
ished hotel keeper.
A clergyman was rebuSed by one OF {
the ruling elders for SauuterinE on the !
Sunday along the hillside above the /
manse. The clergyman took the reDuke /
in good part. but tried TO show the /
Temonstrant that the action Of which /
he complained was innocent and law
ful and ne was about 10 cite the IA /
NOUS example of a Sabbath walk, with !
the plucking of the ears OF corn, as 4
set forth in the gospels. when he was 4
interrupted with the remark: "Ou ay, +
sir, 7 ken weel what you mean 10 say. [
hut for my PART I haze nefer thOcht the (
better q them for breakin' the Sawb- 4
bath
An Irishmau who lived IN New York /
City had a cousin who had just come /
ever from Europe and settled in the !
country around White Plains. The last /
time Mike had visited his cousin and I
the latter's wife ne told them TO come /
I'D To New York to see him on a Ger !
tain day. If he did not meet them at 4
the station they were 10 60 directly to 4
his house, at AS Avenue 4. ON the
appointed day Mike did not appear, so !
the pair decided 10 ind him As they /
were standing on the corner a car came !
along marked for Avenue A and, as I
luck would have il, the number Of the /
car was As
''Begorra" said Bridget. perceiving /
this. There goes Mixes house on 4
Wheels
According to the Atchison Globe, sew
eral years a go Mike Sutton and Ed
Madison were law partners at Dodge /
City Madison tnOw Judge was invited /
TO deliver a Memorial day address at
Stafford, and accepted, but at the last
moment couldn't 90. SO he sent his
mariner. Mike" sutton. In a letter 20 /
the committee ne explained the cir
cllmstances. As a matter Of fact he
said. eve have but one Memorial day
address in the firm. and Mike delivers
il about as well as I do