Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-12-12
Silver as Dust
 By Yo III. LANCASTER
tcopyrseht, 1904, by Daily Story Pub. Co.,,


 she was alone, except when her eyes hurt her and she could neither read nor write. Even then she was given to lying at the stars and dreaming endless dreams of the work she was to do. Lone ly? There was stubborn strain in her that forbade the admission.
 But tonight it was stormy and no stars; she was forced to fall back upon the fire for companionship. Alas, glow ing coal color only aggravates aching eyes and physical pain will ever affect ones mental moods! An, well, the up shot was that the lonely woman shielded her Quivering eyes with her strong, willing hand and fell to rejecting that this was Christmas eve.
 My stars, the tired mammas and broke papas in this wide world to- nightI" In sharp contrast to the quiet of her study she seemed to hear the shrill chorusing of many childish voices. Still she persisted:
 Funny that sane people will go de- liberately into that sort of thing. Pm. glad elected to not live my life along matrimonial lines. Aye, Lord, there was a time when the unmarried woman had not where to lay her head, but that time is past. wonder if it is really well for the world. Oh, Independence, thy heights are strong and clean albeit the winds do blow bit bleak there"
 She got up and walked slowly around the room, touching the backs of her books with tender fingers.
 You are a pretty good substitute for curly heads, cher amis, and you never have coIics and tempers." But, yes; the lonely woman had plenty of pluck! Presently, though, she was aoungins again before the fire
 sI'm a selfish beast-that is the short of it. Even these checks are being sent as the price of peace, not as promoters of pleasure. Perfectly willing to heap up silver as dust if only may be left alone. Aye, Lord; dare say silver heaped up in that spirit is worth about as much as dust. Don't suppose they get any more pleasure out of the receiv- ing than do out of the giving. Sort of perfunctory affair all around. Mais, Quel voulex vous? My whole life is per- functory. haven't done a spontane- ous thing since" She stopped there and the dull red fire ran into her face. It seemed incrediable now, in the self-as-, sured serenity of 35, that her high head should ever have been bowed in broken hearted sobbing upon the breast of-a convict
 well, I suppose every woman plays the fool at least once in her Iife Still, deliver me from any more spontaniety! An 1t please you, prefer the perfume tory. Heaping up silver as silver Is too great 2 strain upon one's self respect? :? or shall we say. soul fiber. Exploiting emotions may be thrilling, but emotion in itself is unsettIing. And yet She threw aside the reverie and took up the letters on the tray. Neat envelopes con- taining neat notes enclosing neat checks. Not 8 blur or 8 blunder Her stationery and typewriting was one of her neat little brides. And they would be mailed tomorrow. The recipients would cash the checks, spend the money and write her each stiff little note perfunctory thanks for perfunctory present. Silver as dust, aye, Lord!" She looked them over with aching eyes and dropped them slowly into the re- ceiyer. Now, I suppose If were to go scotching around in this storm and put that money into clocks and shepperd- desses and tin horns and ragIands, it would be very much more appreciated silver heaped up as silver-though the chances are that they don't need single one of those things. Funny sort of some thing-the human heart Can't feel alive unless 1t is making an exhibition of it's poor self"
 Then came one of those pauses all brain workers must take account of. When yolition passes abruptly into a state of suspended animation and the. mind like an unfettered wild thing shapes the shadowy impossible swiftly into the clear-cut imperative. It is the hand of the Maker. At it's touch the woman grew meek. Volition resumed it's sway, only to take up the new line of thought:
 Suppose were to do 1t. I can't work" And there came to her vision of happy homes and holly and red light and laughter. She was sufficiently sure of a welcome. At least, they always [ Dicks. And it was only seven. Time enough, goodness kpows!" Her glance went lingeringly abound her own four walls. Companionship is one thing; a crowd is another. Aye, Lord. If they didn't all talk at once" And she sighed as she began to pull off her office coat. s'I wonder if would have been such a selfish beast if he hadn't died. The chances are that should have gone on heapfng up silver as silver to the end of the chapter. That's what married woman's life really amounts to. Poor fellow, death was boon to him. We'll, let's have look at the night. Fifteen years ago tonight If he had lived-all this time and still five years more" She stood musing before the fire as though forgetful of her intentions, then:
 Well, he is dead; and am going grimly forth to attempt the gladdening of others, because see in it a bare chance of getting some gladness int, my own hollow heart. Just as we'll tell my self the truth, since it is not likely that I'll ever tell it to anyone else. We'll, he