davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
Not Ready for That.

Once upon a time there was spend
thrift of the name of Jones, who solilo-
quiZed in this wise:
What a fool | have been! If had
all the money, for instance. that l have
spent for beer and cigars | could have
a good bank account instead of being
on my uppers and trying to borrow
money from my friends. l wish l had
it,"
Some one touched his arm.
He turned and there stood his fairy
godmother
You shall have your wish, my son" 4"
she said, 'on one condition-that you
never touch beer or tobacco again in
any form so long as you live"
Jones hesitated-and was lost
Il don't want 1t bad enough for
that" he said.-Chicago Tribune,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
A MODERN SPARTACUS.
Manner of Speech OF the GIadtatOrfaI
COnquerOr of the Twentieth
Century Arena.

1t Is conceivable that Spartacus, had
he been a prominent figure in the mod
ern arena, says the New York World
would have addressed his fellow-gladi-
ators after the following fashion:
Nov that I've won the championship,
I'm goin' to defend it against all comers
first up first served. But first I'm
gOin' on the stage, an don't intend to
do any fightin for a couple of years.
See? While I'm maxim me tour youse
guys can hustle around an git reputa-
tiOns for yerselves. I'm the creates
man at me weight in tn woild, an can
lick any two of yOuse glove-pushers
I've got $1,000,0O0 deposited wit tn
spOrtin editor of the Bugle to bind a
match wit anybody make up me mind
to fight wit, tn articles to be signed
afore | goes on the stage Nav, amt
goin' to give dat guy Corbettius another
show. He's big stiff, an is jes tryin
to git a little free advertisin' for his
saloon. He never could hit hard enough
TO break az Easter egg, an if he don't
stop snOotiH' off his mouth I'll take
fell ont Of him. AS for dat Fitzsim-
monius, he's dub, an never saw de
day when he could lay a glove on me.
If | had boy l wouldn't want nuttin'
better dan to match him wit dat stiff
Sharkius is anudder big bluff Say, he's
dead afraid Of me. You couldn't git him
into a ring wit me again, an Il you
did he'd butt his brains out jumpin
troO' de ropes Jes wait till you see
what me press agent has ter say in de
morning papers an it'll let yer know
where | stand. Gee! Such language.
Well loosen up, somebody Dis
here saloon I'm runnin amt no charity
place, an It don't git along witout
pushin'. II youse guys t'ink yer can
stay in here all day jes' lookin' at me !
for nuttin' yOuse Is fooled.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
Escaped an Awful Fate.

Mr.. H. Haggins OF Melbourne. Fla,
writes, my doctor told me | had con-
sum ption and nothing could be done for
me. was given up to die. The offer of
free bottle of DR.. Kings New Discov-
cry for Consumption, induced me to try
it Results were startling. | am now
on the rosd to recovery and owe all to
DR.. Kings New Discovery. 1t surely
saved my life" This great cure is guar
anteed for ell throat and lung diseases
by Slocum Drug Co. Price 500 and $1.00
Trial bottles free.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
A Marvellous Aerial Globe.

Ore of the attractions planned for the
st. Louis Worlds Fair will be an aerial
globe, 700 feet high. Some idea of its
magnitude can be obtained sitter COM
peripe il with the popular Ferris
wheel, which is considered crude affair
beside it, This statement is also appro-
pirate, after comparing the celebrated
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters with the
other stomach remedies It's so years
record Of cures puts 1t so far in the lead
as a family medicine that the others are
considered crude affairs end hardly
worth trial. Then don't delay longer,
as delay is always dangerous, especially
IN cases OF Indigestion, dyspepsia, con-
stipation, biiousness, insomnia, chiils.
colds or malaria, fever and ague. The
Bitters positively crres these ailments
as thousands bRve voluntarily testified.
Try il and see for yourself.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25

boy who has been hurt y, street car,
two horses bring the ambulance round
the corner from a stable right away up
to the hospita. Coor, and the driver, by
special orDers, SOUNDS the gong &salL
and ap2in, SO tlat the Children who live
~vOut may hear. ney stop instantly,
% matter whaC they are Qoing, ana caIl
20 l.ch Other. There goes our bell.
| hear it. Come on ScOres'coms run
ming from al directions. And when
nurse has stepped in at the back OF the
ambulance anu doctor, III snow white
Uniform, has climbed up on the front
seat beside the driver, and the hors
start off quickly w4,n me SOILS sounding
again and again the children follow
little way, out of pure joy and pride, cry
ing That's pretty fine bell, l tell
you" Gee. isn't she loud"
But it is quite different when the am
bulance comes back and the nurse lifts
out some tot who is very, very i'll OF
pneumonia or one who is bruised and
unconscious The driver isn't sounding
the big gong any more. The children
in the street keep away from the am
bulance They stand respectfully silent,
wondering, some with hands behind
them, others with arms akimbo, and the
tiniest ones with chubby thumbs in
their mouths. The doctor and the
nurse, with a blanket in her arms, go
into the hospital, the ambulance goes
slowly back to the stable around the
corner, and the children who helped to
buy the 'louGest-sounding bell in Phil
adelphia" seem to understand,
even better than grown-up people can
Now, the hospital owns the ambulance
and tbs gong; but it doesn't own the
horses, and the driver doesn't belong to
the institution. Like the horses, he's
hired; because, to tell the truth, the hos
al is Nt-y poor, And that's really why
--~ children in the neighbOrhOOd came
to buy the gong They were not asked
to raise the money. They all .>new that
Did gong on the side Of the drivers seat
was too small and didn't have as much
sound as a street car gong, and One day |
few months ago a child suggs sted
holding fairs to get the money for a
Jew one. Then scores Of children |
caught the idea. They placed little Ia
bles and boxes on the sidewalks, and
sold to passers-by cakes and candy their
mothers made, and shoestrings and |
things like that. And some boys and
girls bought apples, for instance, for
one cent at the corner grocery and sold \
them for two cents, and forthwith
hastened to the hospital and turned over
the profit.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
Better Than Gold.

81 was troubled for several years with
chronic indigestion and nervous debil-
ity," writes F. j. Green, of Lancaster,
N. Fl. "No remedy helped me until
began using Electric Bitters, which did
me more good than all the medicine
ever used. They have also kept my
wife in excellent health for years. She
says Electric Bitsers are just splendid
for female roubles; that they are a
grand tonic and invigorator for weak, ,
run down women. No other medicine
can take its place in our family" Try
them. Only SOC. Satisfaction guaranteed
by Slocum Drug Co.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25

DIR. D. u. Cameron, of Chicago,
in a quarrel with Charles johnson,
colored, called tie latter a mig
ger" and was troupced for it. The
court in which johnson was tried
did not justify the assault, but
drew definition between negro
and "nigger" and admitted that
the colored man had some provo
cation.
Football record for 1908:
Twenty-one killed, 16 seriously in
iured, one insane. The injuries
have been skull fracture, broken
backs, a broken neck, ruptured
hearts and arteries, and hernias.
These figures are for the United
States.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25

Weekly oregonian--Heppner Gazette.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25

Harry Cook, an Idaho sheep
man, is under arrest at Stanford,
Mont, for killing Joseph Wander,
in quarrel over a game of cards,
Cook lost his money and then got
a Winchester and "sbot up" the
house, killing Varder as he was
crowding out of rear door.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
I. t. Steward, a smooth chez

I. T. Steward, a smooth check
CRATER, has just worked Spokane
business men for over 5000 by rep
resenting himself to be worth mil
lions, and by paying his bills with
checks which proved to be utterly
worthless. He is now wanted by
the police of that city.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
Nearly Forfeits His Life.

runaway almost ending fatally
started horrible ulcer on the leg of j.
b. Orner, Franklin Grove, Ill. For four
years 1t defied all doctors and all reme-
dies. But Bucklen's Arnics Salye had
no trouble TO cure him. Equally good
for burns, bruises, skin eruptioDs and
piles. 25c at Slocum Drug Co.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
Mysterious Circumstance.

One was pale and sallow and the other
fresh and rosy. Whence the difference
She who is blushing with health uses
DR.. Kings New Life Pills to maintain
it. By gently srousing the lazy organs
they compel good digestion and head off
constipation. Try them. Only 25c at
Slocum's drug store.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25

General John 3. Gordon left a
fortune estimated at somewhat
more than a quarter of a million,
representing investments of his
platform earnings.
During the past week the TEN
perature at Lacrosse, Wis, was
25 degrees below zero, and the
Mississippi at that point is frozen
solidly to the bottom.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25

Roy Murphy, gambler, killed
himself Tuesday night, at Sand
Point, Idaho, after making an un-
successful attempt to kill his sweet
heart, Bonita Carlson, woman of
the town.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1904-02-25
Earthauakes in Britain,

About one IN every twenty-eight
earthquakes recorded in the world Is felt
In the British Isles.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
cIRcuMsTANTIAL EVIDENCE.
Eave Made Bad Case for
Innocent Man.

Several years ago I took a late train
from Boston to New York. said man In
business In Kansas City, according to the
Star. In the morning l was awakened
earlier than usual by the porter, VINO
said that robbery had been committed
on the sleeper during the night and that
ell the passengers would have to get up.
Some one had taken six SlU0 bills from
the clothing of gentleman who occupied
berth in the middle of the car. Every
section had been taken before he left
Boston, and as the train had been almost
constantly In motion it seemed certain
that the person who had committed the
theft was still on the car. The porter
said no one had been aboard but the pas
sengers and that none of them had left
1t was proposed to search everybody. 4
man who had berth directly opposite
from the one who had been robbed OBJ
Jected. He told his name and said any
one might easily find that he was a man
OF good reputation. In the meantime
some officers boarded the car and after a
little sweating got the money from the
colored porter, who was the guilty one
Then the passenger who had refused to
| be searched asked the officers to examine
his pockets. This seemed strange, but h,
| insisted. In an inside pocket they found
| SIX $500 bills. 1t was merely a coincidence
| that he should have the same amount OF
money as the other passenger had lost
and IN exactly the same denominations
but he knew that under the circumstance:
| he could hardly establish his innocence
How was that for case of circumstantia
evidence?
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30


tention of going after the Chicago New
York record recently established by Bert
Holcomb, of Chicago, up to the time
of this writing no attempt has been
made, and they have evidently decided
to postpone their trials. Holcomb's
mark of So hours and As minutes for a
1000 mile journey with 30-35 horse
power machine marks the best road per-
Torrance ever credited to any machine
in America and establishes a record
which will be hard to reduce. Any re-
auctions which are made in the future
will probably be counted minutes, not
hours. The great Vanderbilt cup race
is over and was a success. America
made a better showing than many ex-
pected. A French car was first, Ger
man machine second, and Herbert Lyle
drove his small powered car into third
position. Not only the cars counted in
the big road race, but the quality of the
drivers as well. and as the first man to
finish, Heath, was an American, it
comes pretty close to being an even
break. According to all reports, the big
race was we'll managed from start to
finish. Even with all the precautions
which were taken, however, it is a
miracle that no spectators were killed.
as people lined the entire 80 miles of the
circuit, many times oyerrunning the
road and only giving way at the approach
of some machine.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
WITH DUKES AND THINGS.
Newcomer in Society Who Got Mixed
Up with Persons Of
Title.

Mrs. Porkdollars has not as yet got over
the novelty of riches. At the same time
she is not inclined to admit this, and it is
her great desire, relates London Answers
that the society with which she is now
entitled to mix by virtue of her hus
bands wealth shall think she was born
IN the purple.
Recently she was at big dinner party
and as she was being piloted from draw.
ing-room to dining room, she noticed Z
marble bust on one of the pillars in the
hall
DO you know who that is" she in
CURED of her cavalier.
That is Marcus Aurelius," was the an
swer.
oh, is it, now?" calculated the lady
But can you tell me-" she added prompt
y, whether it is the present marks OIL
the late marks? | do get so mixed W
with your dukes and thingsl"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

Phil King and bring out championship
Cardinal team. 1t is known that there
has been trouble in the Wisconsin camp,
due largely to a friction between Coaches
Curtis and CochemS, the former half
back and end, brother of the Cochems
who first made the name famous in
Badger football circles and who alter
ward went east to try for one of the
big teams as line man. Apparently
the entire fault lies with the authori-
ties, who appointed Cochems to coach
the backs, giving him the impression
that as a coach he was Curtis equal in
the management of the team. This has
apparently hurt Wisconsin and Curtis,
too. There cannot be two masters OF
one team without bitter, team-destroy-
ing friction, the critics argue. So the
alumni system has not been given fair
test and the opponents Of the system
and men fayoring the securing of an
other eastern coach are again active.
Curtis has not been given credit for the
work he has done in Wisconsin. In
inner Badger circles the talk was that
he was a splendid man to develop
team. On the field he was not as yet
team between halves in the effort to
turn the tide. This was due more than
anything else, 1t is thought, to inexperi-
ence and a little worry at his first big
venture. Another season and this would
have passed off, Naturally following
Phil King, older players would criticise
and make the work awkward. The adj
vent of rival in the coaching circles
only complicated the problem for the
young coach and tied his hands in way
that is regretted by friends of the
Badgers. 1t was believed that Cochems
had the better mind for directing play
| after Curtis had developed his team.
| Curtis developed a strong team last
| year. There was a drive to the work Of
| his backs that was wearing and even
| tually irresistible. That Wisconsin was
not championship team was due to
| the fact that it was not well balanced
! all over-it lacked, for instance, punt
| catcher-an up-to-date backfeld man,
! finished in every detail, with love of
| the back-field excitement which enables
| him to handle punts, make his tackles,
run back the kicks, dodge ends and so
| on. With such a man in the back field
Curtis last years team, with its usual
Badger fighting spirit. it is thought,
| would have been invincible. With all
the internal friction. coaches like Yost
of Michigan and Williams of Minnesota
anticipate fierce struggle with Wiscon-
sin this season
The automobile season for 1904 is
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

LII pOl Io11CO Gil q III
to be contested.
The last track race
of Importance in
the north was the
Brighton Beach
meet on October
%. Road record
breaking tr i a | S
seem to be over
with for the season.
Although several
ambitious aspirants
for hOnors in this
line h av e an
OOnnpnd their in
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

a. NLIAoA0OA lAAS
year is that Arthur
Curtis is serving
his last year Of
coach for the Bad
gers and that he
will quit at the end
Of the season. 1t
is said that the vet
eran star tackle Of
former Wisconsin
football teams has
wearied of the game
and its troubles in
an effort to dupli-
cate the work Of
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

Hats for gentlemen are now wor
larger. They must be size larger than
formerly, so as to come down farther on
the back of the head of the wearer. Thst
is the latest authorized dspensation- On
the whole, it is better than the old style
OF wearing head too big for ones hat,
as the saying goes. 1t dispenses with the
implied swelling.- Herald.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
Plenty in Hand.

you would get along great deal bet
ter if you didn't get SO excited" said the
calm man to his irascible friend. Cant
you learn to keep your temper?"
Keep my temper! Well. like that!"
retorted the other. I'D have you under
stand that keep more temper in one
day than you have in your possession
during a whole year. -CasselPs.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
Misconstrued Motive.

Calvert, Jr.-I want to commend you
Tor your loyalty to friend
Balty Moore Come again. What do
you refer TO?
Il understand that when Yabsley criti-
:ised Blabsley's banquet speech you
promptly knocked Yabsley down"
yes, but that wasn't through loyalty
to Blabsley. 1t was because l had writ
ten the speech. Baltimore American.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

Why should rainbow-chasing be %
frowned on? 1t fills the hearts of the
chasers with a JOY keen enough while il
lasts and it doesn't fade the colors on the
rainbow in the least.-Baltimore Ameri-
can.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
Good News for All.

Bradford, Tenn, Nov. q (Special)-
Scientific research shows Kidney Trouble
to be the father of so many diseases that
news of a discovery of sure cure for it
cannot fail to be welcomed all over the
country. And according to Mr.. j. A.
Davis of this place just such a cure is
found in Dodd's Kidney Pills Mr. Davis
says:
''Dodd's Kidney Pills are all that is
claimed them. They have done me more
good than anything have ever taken.
had Kidney Trouble very pad and after
taking a few boxes of Dodds Kidney
Pills l am completely cured. 1 cannot
praise them too much"
Kidney Complaint develops into
Bright's Disease, Dropsy, Diabetes, Rheu-
matism, and other painful and fatal dis
eases. The safeguard is to cure your
kidneys with Dodd's Kidney Pills when
they show the first symptom of disease.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
DAYS COME AND GO.

Leaves fall and flowers fade,
Days come and got
Now is sweet summer laid
Low in her leafy glade,
Low like a fragrant maid,
Low, low, all, low.
Tears fall and eyelids ache,
Hearts overflow:
Here for our dead loves sake
Let us our farewells make
Will he again awake?
All, no, no, no.
Winds sigh and skies are gray,
Days come and go:
Wild birds are flown away.
Where are the blooms of May?
Dead, dead, this many a day,
Under the snow.
Lips sigh and cheeks are pale,
Hearts overflow:
Will not some song or tale,
Kiss, or a flower frail,
With our dead love avail?
All, no. no, no.
Madison Cawein, in the Century.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
Time to Move.

'T was moved once by the notes OF =
little bird" said the romantic young man.
$50 was l." spoke his friend.
Canary bird?"
mo, cuckoo ! was calling on my gin
and when the cuckoo called IL times
knew it was my move. -Chicago DAILY
News.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
Our Educated.

de only thing dat some people gits
out o. education" said Uncle Eben, is
lie ability to talk SOS other people cant
understand EN- Washington Star.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken of
Ave-, N, Minneapolis. Mimi, Jan. 6. 1900.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30
SPORTS AND
AT HLETICS

The most interesting announcement
issued from the Wisconsin football camp
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

mans curiosity never rivals that of
woman until some one casually remarks
that his name appeared in yesterdays pa
per.-Smlth's Weekly.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

The man with grievance is grievance
to others.-Chicago Daily News.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1904-11-30

The automobile season for 1904 is
practically ended, as few events of any
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1904-01-28

Mr.. Davis son, a stalwart young
man, had returned from college.
Faith err" he said, when | was boy
mother used to make your old clothes
over for me, didn't she?" Il think she
did, sometimes, Henry answered Mr..
Davis.
We'll, l am glad It is within my
power to make some sort of recon-
pense," said Henry, opening his suit
case. Here is an evening suit tailor
made for me year or two ago. |
have entirely outgrown it, but | think
it will just fit you, and it's as good
as new. Suppose you try it on"
Being a sensible man, Mr.. Davis
swallowed whatever pride may have
been involved in the transaction, and
tried the garments on. They did fit
him perfectly.
They're yours, father" said Henry
loftily. -Youths Companion.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1904-01-28
By FREDERIC REDDALE
Copyright, 1872, by J. p. Lippncott Company.

trade, with certain biographical re-
marks appended.
And the first sheet bore the name OF
ROssiter Kane!
Richard replaced the envelope in his
pocket and sat staring ahead at the
crowded mass OF vehicles in Fleet
street with a puzzled frown on his
inca
CHAPTER X.
Five minutes after leaving Richard,
as Kane was striding along Cornhill.
he was overtaken by shambling,
GREATNESS figure in rusty black, and
to the whispered appeal
Blister Kane, sir-just a minute,
sir" he turned his head and saw the
cringing form Of old Plish at his side,
ducking and bowling with abject servil-
ity.
well, Moses, what is it," inquired
Kane, in a business-like tone, stop
ping short, and drawing to one side
out OF the way of the hurrying throng.
With an eye to the main chance,
and realizing that it would be good
policy to keep on the right side of the
ledger with so rich a man as Kane,
Plish had instantly decided to let him
know that Dysart had asked certain
pertinent or impertinent questions
at Ladysmith, and thus forestall any
possible evil consequences to himself
from his wagging tongue.
Excuse me for troubling you, Bis
ter Kane, but ven | see you alonger
'tother vun," pointing a dirty thumb
over his shoulder. Il ses to myself, ses