The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1904-03-17
REAL CONVERSATIONS.

OVlI AtADhJA LV4bNe
One trouble with our modern novel
lists is that their conversation is i'm
possible. Real people never use the
stilted language which present day
authors put into the mouths of their
characters. There remains an oppor-
tunity for some writer to utilize the
real talk Of real men and women
Brander Matthews.
why. good morning. my DEAR
20, good morning. Am I late? I've
simply been rushed to death ever since
brea kfast.''
mo. They haven't begun yet. You
haven't missed a thing"
Have you seen anything good this
morning?"
high bow and a love of an old English
cream and sugar set. Sheffield You
know. I think they almost match that
pot I got in New Orleans six years
Why, how lovely. o, there's Mrs,
Smithers -
Yes. and Yesterday she bid over me
and took the Chippendale desk I've
been waiting for ever since the sale
began. I think it was rude of her."
Perfectly horrid. I always did think
she why, how do you do, Mrs. Smith
ers? How we'll you are looking. I'm
The three ladies kiss. That is always
sign that hostilities are imminent.
Good graciousl There's that man
again. He's a perfect brute. I'm not
going to bid against him again. He
simply waits till he knows I've reached
my limit and then he bids so cents
Is mora "
Why don't you complain to the
auctionear?''
Il believe I will o, just look at that
old copper poti Isn't it a dear?"
"A perfect love. I wonder if we
have time to walk through again be-
fore the auction begins?'
Yes, but we mustn't miss getting
front seats. What are you looking for
this morning. Mrs. Smithers?"
20, nothing in particular. I just
thought I'd drop in and see If I could
pick up anything good. 1 believe III
go back and sit down."
I'm sure she's found something fine
and has got the auctioneer to put it up.
Let's hurry back"
Ladies, the first thing I shall sell
this morning is this fine specimen of
old English ware. 1t was picked up
by one of our agents in the county of
Suffolk and originally came from one
of the stately old homes of the English
aristOcracy. How mi Oh am I bid? One
dollar? Do I hear two? If see a hand
raised I shall take it as a bid. Thank
you. Mrs. Smithers. Two dollars? Two
dollars for this beautiful specimen of
early English ware from one of the
stately seats of the British aristocracy?
Why, ladies, it's as if you handed me
30 cent piece and handed you back
dollar. Two dollars! Two dollars, oncei
And a half, Mrs. Cary? And a half.
Two and a half, once, two and Il half,
twice, two and a -, three Thank
ydl Mrs. Smithers.'
There, 1 told you she was trying to
play some underhand trick. And it's
just what I needed to fill my set. Would
you go any higher?"
20, I think it's a perfect love. I be-
Mrs. Smithers bids SO for this rare
piece of pottery from the stately home
of a belted ear, She bids SO. Do 1
hear the four? Mrs. Cary raises her
hand. Mrs. Cary bids 81. Are you all
through? Third and last call. S..
Thank you Mr.. Carter. Mr.. Carter
bids four and a half. Once, twice, three
times Sold to Mr.. Carter for four and
q half dollars"
20, Mrs. Cary I'm so sorry you didn't
get that piece. You wanted it so badly"
20, not at all I'd really much rather
you'd have had it. ThHts why 1 didn't
go any higher, my dear"
Anyway, now that l look at it closely,
/ don't believe it's genuine, anyhow
why, neither do I. It's a horrid
shape, too What do you suppose any
body could do with a thing like that?
But isn't it just like a MANI"
Yes. They are so pig-headed.'
THE next thing I shall offer for SALE
ladies' and gentlemen, IS this exquisite
high boy. It is a rare bit of colonial
workmanship. It's original owner was
one of the proud, old Puritan fathers of
Massachusetts. I have no doubt that
this high boy was once among the
household goods of Elder William
brewster. am almost sure that it
came over in the Mayfiower. Why,
ladies, the possession of this exquisite
high boy is quite sufficient to qualify
one for membership in the Daughters
of the American Revolution. And how
much am I bid for this antique relic of
old Puritan days IN merry New Eng
land? Mr.. Carter bids so. Ten
Il think it's a horrid old piece, don't
YOU? But if that man wants it let's all
bid against him and pay him up for
taking that beautiful old English set
90. good Let's all dol"
Mr. Carter bids $40. Do I hear the
this unique and interesting specimen of
the furniture of our forefathers. Twen-
ty dollars? Twenty dollars? Mr. Car
fer bids twenty-five. Twenty-fvei
twenty-five! Mrs. Smithers raises her
hand. Mrs. Smithers bids the thirty.
~ If tart