Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1904-08-03
A Disappointing
Burglar
rcopvright. 1903, by c. B Lewis.l


about given him up, but all things
come to him who waits, and my bur-
glar had finally put in an appearance.
sat up in bed TO get good look at
heart.
The burglar of my Imagination had
always looked the gentleman. This
fellow was low browed, common
looking man, who hadn't been shaved
or combed his hair for week. He
not only looked common, but he looked
low minded and tricky. I had always
given a burglar credit for wearing
good clothes, but this man had on a
cheap suit, and it was badly worn in
spots. / was disappointed and dis
gusted and finally asked:
"Are you sure you are a real bur-
glarw
what yer givin' me, ole man?" he
exclaimed as he tapped me on the
head with the muzzle Of his pistol.
after l gifts through with yer ven
think I'm a burglar fast 'nun. Git
over again the wall. Now, then, If yer
move finger I'll bore yer!'
From my trousers he took a roll Of
money amounting to $40, from my
waistcoat gold watch, from the
breast pocket of my coat some papers
Of no value to him, and after a glance
he returned them. On the dresser was
my diamond scarfpin, and when he
had placed that with the other plupder
he said:
NOW, then, git outer bed"
"What for?"
'I'm goin' to tie yer fast while
ransack the crib. Where's the wife and
children?'
"Out in the country"
myself. Put on yer trousers. Now sit
down."
He placed the chair against the ra-
diator, and as l sat down he whipped
sheet off the bed, tore it in strips
and tied me to both chair and radiator.
He was nervous and alarmed all the
time, but attempted to hide it by blus-
ter.
l finally told him that he ought to
be ashamed of such nerve and was re-
warded by a cuff on the ear which
kept my head ringing for five min.
utes.
When he had secured me to his sat.
isfaction. he looked me over and said:
"I'm goin' down into the kitchen for
sunthin' to eat, and if yer try any of
yer tricks on me it II be the wuss for
yerr
''It is no use to 60 down." l replied.
"There has been nothing to eat in the
house since the folks went away,
week ago."
"Then I'll hev to go hungry. Let's
see what's in this safe deposit"
He opened all the drawers in the
dresser in rotation. There were few
odd pieces of jewelry, half dozen old
tanning 119 pennies. When he had
stuffed his pockets with his plumber, he
left the bedroom and went down the
hall, and heard him in the guests
chamber and the servants room. He
was gone about ten minutes, and when
hn co. mo haf.ly hn in haH
AS wasn't stocked up for burglars, he
found no other plumber.
Look here, Gully" he growled as he
stood looking at me, 81 haven't found
no bank book yit."
IL might look around here for six
months and not find one" answered.
"But if We don't bank yer sugar
where is it?''
whenever have dollar left give
1t to the Society Of Reformed Bur
glars"
"Oh, yer does, Ell? Well, / wants
hid somewhere, and if yer don't shell
out I'll cripple yer"'
l was about to answer him when I
saw the form of a policeman in the
door. He had seen lights fiickering
about and, finding the front door open,
had entered the house and softly as
cended the stairs. My burglar had his
back to the door, and the officer caught
on at once and stepped forward and
gave him blow with his club which
knocked him off the chair and seemed
for awhile to have finished his ca
reer.
When the handouts had been slipped
on his wrist / was united, and the off,
Ger and l sat down to compare notes
and wait for the fellow to regain con-
seriousness. We didn't hasten matters
by the use Of brandy or water or
palm leaf fan. We gave him all the
time he wanted, and meanwhile went
through him and recovered my own.
After long hour my burglar opened
his eyes and sat up and inquired:
"W-what's upT'
Nothing, except you are booked for
states prison." replied the officer.