davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-02-12
Sound Enjoyment.

The spirit of modern life is to plunge
into experiences vigorously and get tie
most from them. This was the spirit
that animated the man who preferred
tough bcefsteak because there was
more "chew to it," Similarly virile was
tue attitude of Mr.. Skillings, who had
come to town to order a new family
carriage.
"Now. suppose you want rubber
tires?" said the agent.
mo. sir" replied Mr.. Skilllngs. my
folks ain't that kind When we're rid
ing we want to know It,"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-02-12
Humor auo Philosophy
BY DUNCAN n. SMITH
Copyright. 1904, by Sampson Hodges Co.
PERT PARAGRAPHS.


Some smokers would quit If they
thought the women Of the house liked
~the odor Of cigar.
A good dinner is one that does not
keep calling attention to itself after
ward.
About the only way to beat the trusts
at the game is to develop race that
can live on scenery.
Train up a child to arise at 6 o'clock
in the morning, and as soon as he gets
money he will lie in bed until 8.
The way to find out whether a slot
machine is in working order or not is
to drop a nickel In and see.
1t greatly improves tho flavor of
Ave cent cigar to tell the man you pre-
sent it to that It cost two for a quar-
ter.
A tramp should enjoy q trip across
Sahara because it is such long way
between oases.
There Is no question but what the
world Is growing better. In some parts
Of the country they are sending alder
men to jail.
In few years old men will not have
The snap they have today, for when
they begin to talk about the cold
weather of their boyhood some one win
spring the records on them.
When man Is in love, you could not
convince him that there is no place Hike
home.
Children get most Of their habits by
example from older people, but how do
they ever learn to tell lies7
AS soon as the canal is completed the
isthmus will probably feel cut up
about it.
Before eating up the earth Japan
should get out tape measure and see
for certain how large 1t fs.
A mans position must be we'll estab-
lished in the financial world before he
can afford to eat fifteen cent lunch.
In these days Of the perfection Of
the art Of surgery enc is almost led to
believe that some men have had their
consciences amputated.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-02-12
AIICTIMS OF
A RECOIL
BY LouEse y. Strong
Copyright, 1909, by T. c. Mcclure


"Wh-e-ew! This is the hottest day
that ever broiledw Mr.. j. Sanborn, ell
derly, somewhat portly and very iras-
chile, glared about, defying contradic-
ton.
The old gentleman in front Of him
bristled aggressively
Mr.. Sanborn, with an eye out for Of
Tense. observed the bristling and reiter-
ated dogmatically, "The very hottest
dayw
mo such thing! There's been mil
lions hotter" The old gentleman fash
ed around like pugnacious bulldog.
''The very hottest dayr' Mr. Sanborn
bawled stubbornly.
"Not even the hottest this season!
On the 10th the thermometer registered
16 degrees higher" his opponent ex-
planned with aggravating cxactness.
''Then the thermometer lied! All ther-
mometers do.'
"My thermometer is exact! It's the
best made"
II don't cere if it's the only one made,
1t lies If it says there's ever been hot
ter day than today" Mr.. Sanborn
mopped his face in exaggerated dis
tress.
People were smiling at the absurd
contention, and girl across the aisle
giggled. Both disputants looked at her,
and with n gesture of authority the old
gentleman ordered:
Here, miss, you look cool and rea-
sonable. Tell this lump Of obstinacy
that today is frigid beside the 10th"
"Oh, don't ask me to be umpire. l
don't know anything about thermome-
ters. I always go by my feelings" she
cried.
"The only sensible way" Mr.. San
born affirmed.
TIE way of ninnies and numskulsw
stormed the old gentleman.
your station, SIR" the conductor in
terrupted. The old gentleman bounced
Off, trailing his statements and asser-
tions to the platform.
The train started. MI. Sanborn
stuck his head out the window and
shouted, "The very hottest dayr'
Then he settled back and laughed.
The girl laughed, too, and slipped
across into the old gentleman's place.
II wound him up!' Mr.. Sanborn cx-
planned with satisfaction.
II expect he thinks it is pretty hot
by now" she smiled, "but, really, you
know, we have had hotter weather"
"0h, yes" he assented unexpectedly.
II suppose I'm doing my own roast
ing"
"Fuming?" she intimatcd.
Like boiling kettle. Think I'd eX-
plode but for easing off on the old
gentleman" he chuckled in memory of
the exploit.
"You should take things easy in hot
weather. It's the only way to keep
COOL" she remarked sagely.
Take things easy! Look here, when
you've had blow that's knocked all
your life plans helter skelter you don't
feel either easy or COOL"
"No; that's true. One might make
new plans" she suggested
"New plans! he scoffed. "I don't
know why I'm the one to make conces-
sions. He owes all he is to me-"
She looked polite inquiry, and he con-
tinued: "You see it's my nephew. I've
raised him and been father to him
done we'll by him too; given him the
best advantages money'll buy. And all
I've asked Of him is that he'll go ahead
and be credit to u.s."
He paused reminiscently.
"And hasn't he?" she asked A glow
lit his face.
"He has! He's been on top all the
time, taken the honors everywhere, and
he stands to pull off the biggest of all
now"
II should say that was satisfactory"
she commented.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-02-12

Some smokers would quit If they
thought the women Of the house liked
Nthe odor Of q cigar.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-02-12
Driven In II.

1--WE come to kill printer" said tie
little man.
Amy printer TN particularT nsRed
the foreman.
"oh, any one Will do! I would PIP
fer small one, but I'VE got to fbails
some sort of show at night or eaH
home since the paper called hfy WffSS
tea party 'swin AFFAIR"
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-02-12

In these days Of the perfection Of
the art Of surgery enc is almost led to
believe that some men have had their
consciences amputated.
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-02-12
Hope For Him.

Hope For Him.
"What profession Is your son follow
ing"
'He is q Journalist"
"Well, don't be discouraged. If he
works hard he may grow into q news
paper man."
The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1904-02-12
Some He Overlooks.

Old Father Time gets out his scythe
And patiently starts moving:
He manages somehow to thrive
And make a decent showing;
But, though he Is a master hand,
Alert. expert and willing,
His weapon does not always land
The fellow who needs killing.
The idiot who rocks the boat;
The statesman who is lying;
The fellow who can't sing q note
And will persist In trying;
The man who handles Dynamite
And gayly keeps on smoking;
The chump who -
!; !; ;;@:; ,5s :;:s; :s5s Ss' ,Gs' s ss aD
he Is Joking; FSNM
!: !: j: !: $50
The man who tells SNN
busy reading; " - ISlI
The fellow who is
And looks to la for feeding;
The man who wants to sell you books
When you are short Of money:
The creature who your diamond hooks
And thinks that he Is funny:
The man who slaps you on the back
And says: Hello. old fellow!
1t looked like rain, So let Jack
Take on your umbrella"
But why make UP a longer list
OF those Of doubtful ratingf
Is Father Time humorist
Or not discriminating?
Up to Date.
The harp that once through Tara's
halls
The soul Of music shed
Is silent, for the phonograph
Now grinds out tunes instead.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
NO RAILROAD TROUBLE.

Committee of Railroad Workers Has
 Friendly Chat With Superint
 The conference of a subcommittee of the Brotherhood of Railroad Trainmen with officials of the Consolidated rail- road in this city yesterday resulted in what, as far as could be learned was an amicable understanding. The ru- nor had gained ground that the pres ence of the subcommittee in town DOT tended labor difficulties, but this im- pression was dispelled by the remarks of members of the committee. They met General Superintendent o. M Shepard and the conference lasted sew eral hours.
 The discussion pertained to the time schedule of the trainmen. It was ap- parent from the mutual understanding arrived at that if any trainman is working sixteen hours a day it is be- cause he has not informed the office oi this. The many changes in schedule and running time that have marked the new administration of the road would lead to an increase in hours of the mer on some runs, and it was to look into this condition that the subcommittee visited MT. Shepard,
 From all that could be learned tht representatives of the workers were satisfied that all is well, and the meet. ing partook more of the nature of : friendly chat and the making of ac. quaintance than of any hostile talk o threatened strikes,
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23

dents. An effort is to be made to have all of the presidents turn in their prizes so that they may be exhibited in some central store window.
 The military companies have offered the use of their rooms to the commit tee for the occasion, and some of the college officers have asked permission to locate their sections in the rooms.
 The splendid decorations that will be seen at the Sarsfield Guard hall will be used again for the Dominican whist. special agreement having been made with the New Haven Decorating com Ipany
 The boxes used during the Sarsfleld ball will be left standing and they will be filled by a number of the elderly members of the parish who do not play whist. There will be about forty boxes and the committee in charge of that feature reports thentw sold. Eight dol- lars will be charged for each box and inquiries for them from friends of the Dominican fathers throughout the city leaves no doubt that they will all be taken before the night for the public sale, March 29.
 There will be no charge for the danc- l ing, and in fact the price of the ad- mission ticket entities the purchaser to all of the entertainment, whist playing, prizes, dancing, etc.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
ST. MARY,S WHIST.
Notable sooiai Event at tho Armory,
 apr,I eih-a,o0o Tickets soId.

Notable Social Event at the Armory,
 April slh-s,ooo Ticket. soid.
 St. Mary's whist to be given at the arnlory April s has stirred up social affairs in Catholic circles in a manner
 that bodes great things for the success of this undertaking under the direction l of the Dominican fathers.
 l It will be we'll patronized affair , as may be imagined from the fact that more than 1000 of the tickets are al- ready sold and hardly a day passes but members of the committees are asked l for additional allowances. The Domin- 1 ican fathers have spared no effort and neglected no opportunity to make their whist a most enjoyable social entertain
 ment Every detail has been managed with the utmost care for the conven- i fence of the whist players and nothing has been left undone that might in any way add to the success of the occasion. When the whist playing has ended and the prizes have been awarded danc- ing will be enjoyed until 1 o'clock in tuG IHUIIlllS. lllS PSCUllu INCSlillGllL band has been engaged until that hour to supply the necessary music and Leader Fichtl promises that it's melody will be of an unusually high order.
 So that very little time will be lost in deciding upon the winners of the handsome prizes to be given to the four players having the highest whist. scores, in each college, the young lady presidents and their assistants will have entire charge of the scoring, com parisons and awards of prizes. It is believed that not more than fifteen rlin- utes will be required to decide who aree the lucky prize winners.
 One of the rooms at the rectory is half filledwith beautiful articles of sorts to be used as prizes donated by the friends of the different college presi-
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
LATEST FAIR HAVEN NEWS
DEMOCRATS UNITING WITH RE-
 PUBLICAN PARTY.

Funeral of Mrs. Bridget Griffin To-
 morrow EIorning-Mothers' Meeting
 There is considerable speculation among the politicians of the Fourteenth ward as to the future of the democratic party. During the past few weeks many who have long been associated with the democratic party in this ward have joined themselves to the Young Mems Republican club, and it is ru- mored that others are considering their applications.
 W. F. Gillette has taken out a permit to remodel a barn on Dover street. The barn is to be made over into a modern two-family tenement at a cost of be- tween $2,5O0 and $3,5OO.
 The funeral of the late Bridget Grif- fin, widow of James Griffin, will take place from the residence of her daugh- ter, Mrs. James Sobey, 2S3 Exchange street tomorrow morning at S:SO o'clock and from a requiem high mass at St. Francis Church at o'clock. It is requested that flowers be omitted. At the regular meeting of Quinnipiae conclave, I. O. H., held Monday evening, one application was received and the Inew amendment to the bylaws was read for the second time The final ac- tion on this matter will be taken at the meeting to be held April 4. At the conclusion of the meeting a clam chow der was served, and all persons, includ- ing several members of Yale and New Haven conclaves, enjoyed the evening very much.
 l The QuinniDiac Hose, Hook and Lad
 der company held it's regular meeting last evening. One of the famous ald- fashioned Dutch suppers, for which the
 close of the meeting, under the spervf- sion of Foreman Frohlich.
 Contractor Thorpe has begun on the o-family house on Ferry street for William Barton.
 1 A mothers meeting will be held in the Kindergarten of Strong school to- morrow afternoon at o'clock. Miss
 Rachel M. Webster, supervising prin- cipal of Welch district, will deliver an
 address on What the School May Ex- pect from the Home.'
 The boating season is opening and the owners of launches are already putting their craft on the water. William
 Wooden and George King are among
 the first to open the season.
 1 The subscription list for funds to Epay for the repairs now being made on
 the Grand avenue Congregational
 church was opened at the morning ser
 vice Sunday and the response of the members exceeded all expectations.
 Rev. Dr. Sheath after explaining the
 purpose of the proposed fund and ex-
 horting the members to contribute lib- lerally started the subscription with $10O
 and before the day closed fourteen oth- Iers had followed his example by con- ltributing like amount. lii all &, 425
 was subscribed. As $5,OOo is required Cor the work, it is probable that this Isum will be raised within a few days.
 The engagement is announced of Mrs ICatherine Mooney, daughter of Michael
 Mooney of 244 Chapel street, to Edward
 Barry, a popular employe of the Fair
 Haven and Westville railroad. The wedding will take place on April in iSt. Francis church.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
Loca, W eather neport. New Haven, March 2.
.raa neassi.,n.

High water to-day, 2:56 a. m. < Rev. A. J. Gammack delivered an ad- dress in St. Paul's church yesterday afternoon on sThe Character of Citizen shop
 At meeting of the Durham baseball players, held recently, James Scott was elected captain and E. F. White man. ager of the Twentieth Century club.
 The Rev. Father Dullard of Mt. Car mel will preach at the Lenten devotion al exercises to be held at St. Joseph $ church, Westville, Next Thursday ev- shop
 Israel Putnam council. F. B. L., will tender a reception tomorrow evening to Supreme President John J. Howard at Odd Fellows hall, Crown street. to which all the members of the order are invited
 Rev. Severin F. Simonsen of the Christian Scientist church has leased the fine residence of former High Sher- if c. R. Spiegel ats24 Huntington street for the term of three years. The rental is $1 ,00O year. MT. Simonsen now lives on West Chapel street
 Highway Commissioner James H. Macdonald had a conference with Di- rector Coe yesterday morning with ref erence to the construction of good roads on the state appropriation in New Ha- ven this year. There are $5,700 availa- ble, of which the state will pay two thirds. Two roads will be hardened with this appropriation and they will be selected at a later conference between the director and Commissioner Mac donald. The roads will be roads lead ing out of New Haven
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
AT THE CITY MISSION HOUSE.


 Rev. Dr. McLane to Address the Men's s
 Club To-Night.
 The Berkeley Mems club will hold it's weekly session this evening at the City Mission house, POI Orange street. Rev. Dr. ". w. McLane, the pastor of Plymouth church, in this city, and who is also this year president of the City Missionary association, will address the club during the "social hour,'' from 8 to 9 o'clock. The club keeps open house to all on Wednesday evenings. The free social rooms of the club at the mission house are open to men every week day evening, with the daily pa pers, illustrated magazines, writing table with free paper and envelopes; also ping pong tables and other games. A pleasant place for working men to spend an evening.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
GONE TO WASHINGTON.

Orange Officials to Confer With the
 Secretary of War First Selectnlan Walter Main of West Haven, accompanied by Attorney Bush of West Haven, left on the 1.05 o'clock train yesterday afternoon for Washing ton, D. C., to confer with the Secretary of War for the purpose of having the time extended for the tearing down of the Kimberly avenue bridge. Both the City of New Haven and the Town of Orange wish to have the present struc- ture remain until work on the new bridge is commenced. They will return Thursday.
 Mayor Studley was asked to accom-
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
coNFERs WITH R. R. OFFICIALS.

In Reference to What Is To Be Done
 With No. 2's Engine House.
 Mayor Studley had a conference with the railroad officials yesterday in refer- ence to what arrangements could be made concerning No. 2's engine house. Nothing yet has been definitely decided, but it is probable that the present house will be turned around so that il will face the junction at the corner ot St. John and Artizan streets. This plan is thought to be the most feasible by the fire commissioners.
 It is probable that matters will be sat isfactorily settled in short time to the satisfaction of all parties concerned and that the railroad company can then go ahead to open up the cut
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
HOUSE BURNED DOWN.
Incendiaries Set Fire to Structure o
 A,1o11,. C+ran4

Incendiaries Set Fire to Structure on
 Augur Street.
 A wooden house on Augur street in Whitneyville was totally destroyed by fire Monday night. The house belongs to the Smith estate of Ansonia and has not been occupied since early in the winter.
 The fire was discovered by Rev. c. F. Clark, who lives in the vicinity. At that time the fire was burnig in the southeast corner of the building, but by the time he had sounded the alarm the entire structure was in flames, and before anything could be done the build ing was burned to the ground.
 There is but littdle doubt but that the building was set on fire and the au- thorities are now making an investiga- tion.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
SUICIDES WHILE DEsPoNDENT.
Louis Pfaff Ends Life After Suffering
 From Grip.

IUIli N1Il II.
 While suffering from melanchoIia, brought on by all attack of pneumonia, Louis Pfaff committed suicide by cut ting his throat with a razor at IS1 Meadow street yesterday morning. MT. Pfaff was s7 years old and was unmar- ried. He was the son of MT and Mrs. Louis c. Pfaff, and boarded at their res- idence, 123 George street. MT. Pfaff had no other reason for his deed than mel ancholia and illness from which he had been suffering for the past two weeks. He had been employed by his father with the firm of Pfaff & Son, but a few days ago left the store owing to his ill- ness, and had been doing nothing up to the time of his death. He leaves be- sides his mother and father two broth CTS and a sister The funeral will be private and will be held Thursday af- ternoon at 2:30 o'clock from his fathers residence. Interment will be in the family plot at Evergreen cemetery.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
DESTROYED $50 WORTH OF
 CLOTHES.

Detective Ward arrested Rosa Allen yesterday afternoon and charged her with injury to private property. She lives on the top floor Of the house at 13s Whalley. avenue and Mrs. Mary Brightman lives on the floor below her in the same house.
 It is alleged that the two women had some words and that last night when Mrs. Brightnail's laundry was out on the line Mrs. Allen took a knife and go- ing to the line cut the clothes all to pieces. Mrs. Brightman says that the clothes which were destroyed were worth $50.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
Coming Wedding

Miss Minnie schIegel will be married to Jesse Skinner at the home of the lat ter's parents, No. z Waverly street. on Saturday evening. Both young people are well and favorably known and have many friends, who will wish them a happy voyage upon the matrimonial sea. The wedding festivities will be a family affair, only a few of the couples most intimate friends having been in- vited.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23

Grayson-.It seems to me that more folly every year that Hive.
 Whited-"So do I, my boy. So do never miss a chance nowadays. q Topics.
 First Little Girl-'My father is editor; what does yours do?"
 Second Little rl-'What atever n ma tells him. - Glasgow Eve Times.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
BUILDING PERMITS ISSUED.

Building Interests in This City Now Taking a Brace-Fire Marshal Glad win Issued Several Building Permits Yesterday.
 Fire Marshal Gladwin issued several building permits yeterday, and he now thinks that the regular spring rush in this direction is commencing.
 r. B. Trowbridge of 59 Crown street
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
s& Assss NOW FOR FLATFISH.

Flatfish are now running. and l Ibers of fishermen are trying their all along the shore front. Some cacthes have already been reported
 There were a number of people ling off the old lighthouse yesterday they had very good luck.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1904-03-23
DoRscHTGoNonRT PRoGRAMME E
All the Members Announced With Two
 or Three Excepttnns.


 The programme for the Dorscht "re-0 quest concert at the Hyperion Sunday night was completed yesterday with the exception of two or three numbers, and contains. in addition to the beauti- fui fantasy Down in the Cellar Deep, z the Titl serenade and the War March from Wagner's aRienzi," previously announced, the following: String Orchestra
 Children's Patrol .Gillet Baby's Sweetheart ..............Corri Orchestra
 Musique des Futomates ct valse
 and Czardas, from "Coppelia"
 ................ Delibes Phedre Overture ............ .Massenet Band
 March German American .....
 ....................... Kretschmer Faust Fantasia ...............G Gounod Babes in Toyland. Herbert By the Suwanee River. u. .Myddleton The soloists will be Bert Cass, clari- net; William Hegel, piccolo, and Herr Kunze horn, of the Metropolitan Opera house orchestra of New York.
 The rendition of the War March is being looked forward to with much pleasure The Battle Hymn preced- ing it will be sung by a chorus of sixty to one hundred voices selected from tht leading German singing societies of tht city, including the Harugari, Arion Herman Sohn, Cecelia and Arbeite | Maennerchor. The piece is very inspir l iting and promises to be a great popu l lar treat.
 l Down in the Cellar Deep" fantas l arranged for clarinet solo, is considere l by the musicians themselves as one c the most interesting numbers, and tn l Titl serenade, Messrs. Hegel an Kunze soloists, will prove rich trea