Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1904-07-16

and worcestershire.
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If matters 20 wrong IN the English
House of Commons n convenient cX.
PLANTATION would he to attribute the
fact to the sophisticated air" which
the members breathe. According 10
the London Guardian. the winds of
heaven are not suffered to visit too
roughly the interior of the Palace of
Westminster. for they are filtered
through cottonwood. ana warmed by
passing over hot pipes. and then tile
dead and oppressive product Is forced
through gratings In the floor of the
House. where II picks up the mud from
honorable members boots
A mean farmer claims that there
used to be fine echo on his farm
that attracted numerous summer
boarders. but one day his wife got
into u controversy with ii. and in Its
struggles to have the last word the
poor echo strained itself so badly that
II lost its voice entirely. 1t Is u mean
man that would make up this joke.
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According ~ one of the greatest dip.
lOniatists. ut II the modest boast Of
modern diplomacy that its office Is the
removal of MISUNDERSTANDING. That
IL II pretty good sort of business for
every one to be engaged In. 1t Is
much better to give your neighbOr an
opportunity to tell the truth than to
exert yourself to prove that he Is Il
liar.
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The "old maids" of Il neighboring
state demand that all men who are
not married ut % be DISTINGUISHED.
Well may mere man tremble ut the
prospect Of universal woman suffrage.
for II they ever hold the balance Of
power 1t Is among the possibilities
that they would retaliate by disfran.
chislng man.
"Milton received $25 down for his
immortal Paradise Lost" said lead.
ing author the other dry. land to-day
the manuscript Of 1t Is considered
worth $4,000. How many Of our
modern manuscripts which are worth
$25.OOO to-day will. I wonder. be worth
$25 century henceY"
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Hereafter" says II contemporary.
In A
life RATS and life preservers before
be trusts himself on an excursion
steamer" Probably not. The care.
ful man may do SO. but the average
man will continue to take things for
granted.
A Philadelphia chemist claims to
have discovered process whereby
he can reduce the price Of radium
from $16.OOOOOO to less than $5OO,OOO
u pound. With meat ana almost ev.
erything else soaring skywnrd this
must he welcome news to the strug.
Cling poor.
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The housekeeping OF Mrs. Roosevelt
has been criticised by the Daughters
of the Revolution. Daughters who
have time to crltlclse their mothers and
sisters should be careful about invit
Ing comparisons.
Now that the Carnegie hero fund
commissioners have met and organ.
lied. let the heroes come forward
promptly. No need to push or shove
either; just come along quietly and In
single file.
| ~SA
The economists may 20 ahead will
their discussions as to the relative ben
eht Of high or low prices. but the'av
erage man IL likely to decide the per
sOnal equation on the basis Of what b.
has left over ut the end Of the month
According to new encyclopedia
poverty is caused by four things
drink. inetiiciency and shiftlessness
crime and a fOndness for rowing. One
other cause that might be mentioned
Is u lack of money.
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The Sultan Of Turkey has eXlled Ont
of his sons.in-law. With several hun
dred wives on his hands. 1t would seen
that the Sultan will have cut out quit,
Il considerable son-in-law problem fO
himself In time.
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The Japs have very short legs. and
are therefore unable to run fast. This
may account for the fact tina,
the decisive land engagement" abou,
which we have heard 80 much Is being
delayed.
When Russell Sage travels he al
ways takes the last seat In the car, sl
that the conductor will be compelled Il
let him save the interest on his money
longer than any of the rest Of the pas
sengers.
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A Chicago woman seeks a divOrc'
because her husband has not smiled II
ten years. Popular judgment shoult
be suspended until the husband tell
why he has not smiled.
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Now comes bulglng. proved profes