davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

a British colonel who knew him we'll in
those days. IF an official was found
to be receiving brides or depressing the
people-and a dozen of them were dis
covered every day-he had to go.
mo plea, no argument stopped his
crusading zeal. 1t was useless to tell
him that such a scamp was related to
the Khedive, or that such another
scamp was a lineal descendant of the
Prophet and his dismissal would there
fore arouse the fanaticism of the peo-
pie
Il remember once he went to the
Khedive-not the present one, but his
predecessor-to demand the dismissal
of one of the leading officials OF the
palace, VINO was an intimate friend or
the Khedives. Barring made his de-
mand in plain language. Either he
must go or I will 60, he said, for
am convinced that he is plotting
against England and doing his best to
spoil my work here
THE Khedive, white with passion,
refused violently. Am l a king or a
dog?' he asked. The man is my per-
sonal servant and my friend 1 will
never send him away. If l did so,
my people would know that l am moth
ing but the shadow of a ruler
Il leave the palace in five min
utes,' replied Barring. Unless l have
the order of dismissal then, l shall go
straight to the cable Office and wire
to the British government that l am
coming home, telling them why. You
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

ing's talent for diplomacy and finance
was discovered. He was taken from
the army, and in turn made private
secretary to the Viceroy of India, Com
missioner of the Egyptian Public Debt,
Controller General in Egypt, and FL
nancial Member of the Council of tine
| Niceroy of India. Then, when the Brit
ish government needed the strongest
and ablest man it could find to under
! take the gigantic task of reforming
! Egypt Barring was selected.
He soon made his power felt to the
| uttermost ends of the country. An Ori-
| entail country, governed as tyrannically
| and far more corruptly than it had
| been in the days of the Pharaohs, hon
eycombed with the spirit OF revolt,
! practically bankrupt in it's finances, and
| soon to be fighting for it's very exist
/ ence against the fanatical hordes of the
! Soudan-this was the apparently hope
! less problem which Evelyn Barring fac
, ed. That he has solved it is proved by
! the fact that Egypt has now reached
! "a condition of administrative perfec-
i; ton worthy of an European State" and
! far superior to that of some European
I states.
He soon found that his Turkish
friend was right. There was graft"
and tyranny in every department of
the government, from the Khedive
| down to the humblest tax collector and
military officer.
Barring at once set to work to
straighten things out and make the
government honest at any cost" said
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

know well enough that that will mean
your Reinforcement.
For a moment Baring's life must
have hung in the balance The Khe-
dive, trained to despotic authority,
had never been spoken to in that way.
He was mad with rage; he had only
to shout to his bodyguard in the cor
ridor outside and Barring would have
been killed in the twinkling of an eye.
But he thought better of it, and the
Englishman left the palace with the
order in his pocket"
That was only one of many such
scenes. In time the masterful Briton
made the Oriental understand who was
the ruler of Egypt and then there was
no more open friction. The Khedive
accepted a life of luxurious Incidence,
ana Barring governed his country in
his name.
But this was not accomplished until
he had passed. through a hundred per-
lis. Many another man, besides his
Turkish friend, told Barring that if he
went on discharging officials and dust
ing away the cobwebs of centuries of
nlisrule, he would certainly be pois-
oned by his own cook or stabbed some
dark night as he passed through the
dark alleys of Cairo. But he went on
his way without needing these warm
ings.
Fortunately, his English assistants
and aides-de- camp were alive to his
danger and formed a kind of body
guard to watch him night and day.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

distinguished man should have been
chosen for such an important post
He was Major of Engineers, known
only to the banking world for his finan-
cial talent as a commissioner of the
Egyptian public debt, and financial
member of the Viceroy's Council in In
dia
He is an interesting example of the
power of heredity. His father, Henry
Barring, the well-known banker, want
ed him to become a great soldier. He
gave him a purely military education
and put him into the Royal Engineers
as a subaltern in 1858. But he never
rose above the rank of major, while
financier, diplomat and ruler, has made
him unquestionably one of the great
est men in the world to-day.
His first chance came in 1865, when
he had been an humble lieutenant for
seven years. and saw very little chance
of getting much farther. He was APP
pointed secretary to a royal commits
sion sent out to Jamaica, West Indies
to inquire into a negro outbreak. To
this day the ability which he showed
on that mission is remembered in ia
maica.
You could see berry quick dat him
great big somebody" said an old ne
gro who gave evidence before him.
1T was no use fe mex up stories. He
could see de lies at de back of yo'
head"
After that successful mission, Bar
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03
THE GENIAL IDIOT
His Plan for the Relief of the Millionaire.
BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS.
Copyright, 1903, by John Russell Davidson.

Cristo, and Russell Green and Hetty
Sage, and dear old Andrew of Skihibo-
every mothers son and daughter Of
'em, except the first five, worried to
death with the constant increase Of
their wealth; actually bowling with
grief because their coal bins are full
of gold eagles, their walls papered with
government bonds, and nothing to keep
the ever-increasing pile of it down, save
an occasional flyer in their own stocks,
and even that is just so much bread
thrown upon the waters. If John w.
Midas wants to die poor, really wants
to die poor. doubtless he'll pay some
body to tell him how. Go to him, Mr..
Idiot, with one of your brilliant
schemes, and I'll warrant you he'll
richly reward you Or any of the
others-if they truly seek penury and
want, which they tell us is so desirable.
i honestly think you are the kind of
adviser who can get it for them"
You can't get at EN-" said the
Idiot, You see most of those billion
aires are already surrounded by a lot
of fellows with schemes like mine. Look
at the case of j. Saltonstall Croesus
in this International Canoe Trust bus
mess. He dropped the difference be-
tween $1,000, 900 and $4,000 in that,
without even knowing he was in it.
There was science in that operation"
He didn't drop a cent" said Mr..
Brief. What he did do was to fail
to pick up the s4,s25,OOO you count as
a loss"
"Oh well-that's a loss just the
| same said the Idiot IF I've got my
eye on a nice girl who / think is just
! the one to make my future home hap
by, and while I'm thinking il over,
| some other chap with similar ideas
comes in, with the result that 1 have
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

what a terrible thing is must be-"
said the idiot, at the close of a dis
course of some length from Mr.. White
choker on the subject of wealth, ito
have so much money that no matter
what you do you can't begin to spend
it. The country is swarming with
poor, miserable, suffering billionaires,
sitting up nights trying to stop the
leaks through which money pours in
overwhelming torrents into their ex-
chequer. The pumps are manned by
faithful crews day and night until they
well-nigh drop with exhaustion, but, in
spite of all they can do, higher, higher,
ever higher, rises the tide of gold I'M
Ill we shall soon see that devoted band
of money makers submerged in the sea
Of wealth, hopelessly aoundering about
in a frantic Tantalus effort to reach
the ever receding shore of penury and
want"
1T is indeed a fearful struggle"
sighed Mr.. Whitechoker.
will somebody kindly lend me a
sleeve to laugh in?" asked the Idiot
Really. Mr.. Whitechoker, are there nc
short cuts to penury and want that
these very estimable billionaires car
take if they honestly want to get there
] know a few little by-paths that lead
TO the empty pocket which / shall bt
very glad to place at their disposal fol
very slight consideration.
why don't you get into communi'
cation with some of the sufferersY
asked Mr.. Brief. That's the thing e
do. There's John W. Midas and ]. Sal
tonstall Croesus, and John d. Monte
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

for himself, in order that the poor may
not be cursed with it. But the Lord
of Skihibo actually seems to be panicl1y
on the subject, and L don't blame him.
When a man has to charter a steam
plough to get the coupons off his bonds,
and has four hundred bales of certified
dividend cheques delivered at his front
door in a postoffice van every morning,
70 wonder Ire cries for help. Think Of
finding such a mail as that on your
breakfast table. Mr.. Bib. 1t requires
the services of sixteen Wallets, four
maids, and a head waiter to remove it
from the dining room. during which
operation the gentlemans flap-jacks
grow frigid and his egg and coffee lose
their charm. He can't throw these
cheques out os the window because if
he did, he'd be arrested by the street
cleaning department for littering up the
highways with paper. If he started
in to tear them up. il would take him
forty-eight hours to do the job, and a
day has only twenty-four. To endorse
them properly for deposit requires
corps of twenty assistants with rubber
stamps working twelve hours each day;
and a deposit slip five miles long has
to be provided and made up every
morning. and sent in twenty cylinders,
each as big as the driving wheel of
locomotive, to the Nervous Prostitution
National Bank, where this unfortunate
man keeps his wealth. He can't Walk
two blocks without earning $1O0O09 II
he takes a drive in the park, while ne.
gone from the work of distribution hait
y million accumulates on him, and IL
he goes to bed at 10 o'clock at night
and sleeps eight hours, it is win the
certain knowledge that when ne wakes
M there'H be a dozen more tons OF
gold on hand to harrass his/mind ana
vex his soul. Is it any wonder then
that he's worried?"
II guess a few libraries scattered
here and there enable him to maine
tain his equilibrium" said the Bibli-
omaniac. "He's been exceedingly gem
erous in that resoect.Y
"He is exceedingly generous in
every respect" retofted the Idiot.
sNo sane person questions that. 1t is
his deplorable plight that concerns us
and which 1, for one, would like to
help relieve. hatlibrary scheme was
very effective to begin with, but it
can't go on forever, and 1 happen to
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

to send her wedding present instead
of endowing her with all my earthly
debts. guess I've lost the girl all
right. Constructively perhaps, she
never was mine, but if we only lost
what we actually had these days,
there'd be precious little loss in the
world. Croesus was out his $4,925, 900
in that transaction, whatever way you
may look at it, and l know from the
inside that he regards it as such. The
brother-in-law of his cooks cousin is
engaged to be married to the daughter
of my uncle's Wallets step-sister, and
have it as direct as that that ever
since that time Croesus has been
economizing. He used to go down
town on the L. but now he walks to
the river and takes his yacht to the
foot Of Wall street to save car, fare;
and instead of smoking a box of 80
cent cigars a day as he used to, he's
cut it down to ten two for a quarters.
l don't think, in view of recent devel-
opments, Croesus would be a good per-
son for me to go to this year anyhow
with a Get-Poor- Quick scheme"
How about Old Midas?" suggest
ed MI Brief. TRY him once"
NAY, nay" said the idiot, with a
laugh. Il like Midas too much to go
to him on any such fools errand as
that. He hasn't whined about being
rich. You've never seen him weeping
at a public banquet because the good
old DAYS Of two dollars a week have
gone forever; he writes no brilliant es-
says to convince a man with seventeen
children and an income of $1,000 a year
that life is a beautiful irri1escent
dream of luxurious opportunity; he
doesn't appear before Sunday-schools
with plausible sermons at the end of
his ready tongue to tell the children
that money is evil and merest dross,
ending with the brilliant peroration
and now, my little dears, we will take
up a collection for the establishment
of a School of Arts in the Sulu Arch
ipelago and to encourage you in well
doing, let me pledge myself to give from
my own purse one dollar to the fund
for every fifteen raised by yourselves
Not so with John W. Midas. He's rich
and he's proud of it, Ask him the di-
rect question, and he'll tell you that
he'd rather have an automobile at his
door than a wolf. and that when 1t
comes to a choice between the old time
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

Whatever their trials may be, they
seem to be willing to take them with
out murmur. None of my schemes
for them"
"Theres only two left then that are
doing this bowling you complain OF,
said Mr.. Bibliomaniac. John d.
Monte Cristo and dear old Andrew of
Skihibo."
I'm not worrying about John D.
Monte Cristo." said the Idiot. Il have
an idea there is already in existence
what you might call a secret service
band of faithful spenders who help him
in the diminution of his surplus, and
who keep his pockets from assuming
that overbulgent aspect which savors
of ostentation. John d. Monte Cristo
is all right, and while he is not going
to die any poorer than anybody else,
you can make up your mind that these
stories about the constant accumula-
ton of his wealth are grossly exag-
gerated. There are two factors back
of Mr.. Monte Cristo that will keep him
as poor as he wants to be the rest of
his life. In the first place he has a fad
for running universities, and if there's
anything that beats horse-racing for
big and persistent losses, it's running
a university. A big institution for
learning is a perfect slave for cash,
and when a man has two or three of
them on his hands, he needn't lie
awake nights worrying over what he
shall do with his surplus. Last year
Mr.. Monte Cristo endowed enough
chairs at the universities he is inter-
ested in to stock a theater, and if the
dormitory figures l have seen are ac-
curate, he has provided bed rooms
enough 10 house posterity for the next
three hundred years. In addition to
this little fad, Mr.. Monte Cristo plays
golf, and if his case is anything like
my own, he has found by this time
that what ready cash his other in
terests do not take, golf uses up, and
a little more into the bargain"
Then what in thunder is all this talk
about billionaires trying to get rid of
their money? 1t all seems to resolve
into a case of the Lord of Skihibo,"
protested the Bibliomaniac.
That's about the size of it. He's the
only one who has cried conspicuously
for help said the Idiot. Mr.. Monte
Cristo has warned us that wealth is by
no means a blessing. and he has been
consistent in trying to scoop it all in
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

Plot after plot against his life was
discovered, but the facts were never
made public-just as numerous an
archical attempts against the lives of
! European sovereigns are carefully
kept secret.
! One day, at a public audience, a
ragged dervish approached Barring,
carrying a long roll of parchment.
! The guards, supposing that the man
wanted to present a petition, allowed
| him to pass. But Sir William Garstin,
who is now Under Secretary of State
! for Public Work in Egypt, stepped
up to him, gripped his right wrist,
and gave it a sharp twist. With a
! howl of pain, the dervish opened his
! hand, and knife which had been
| concealed in the roll of parchment fell
| Gathering on the marble pavement of
| the hall.
One night, in 1885, an English tour
! list was found dead in the streets of
! Cairo. He had been stabbed three
| times in the back His watch and
purse had not been stolen, and the
police officers could not at once COM
| prehend the motive of the crime. At
| last, one of them, after looking care
fully at the corpse, exclaimed:
81 have it! Don't you see that he
is rather like the British Agent in
| face and figure? Those knife-thrusts
were meant for Mr.. Barring"
! Trusted servants in the Barring
! household had to be discharged or
sent to prison again and again be-
cause they were involved in assassi-
nation plots SO it went on, for
months and years, until at last the
superstitious natives became con-
WINGED that Barring bore a charmed
life and would not lift finger against
him. To-day he is as safe in Cairo
as he would be in London. The Egyp-
tians idolize him, because he has re-
leased them from bondage as effectu-
ally as Moses released the Israe-
lites.
ut has been my consistent aim, -
he said, some time ago, ito so govern
Egypt that every peasant would be
sure of reaping that which he has
sown and enjoying a life of comfort
in recompense for his toll. When I
first made a tour of inspection up the
Nile, the fallabeen were the slaves of
the taX-collectors and usurers. They
were ground between the upper and
the neither millstones.
1.-THE taX-collector extorted, with
many stripes, ten times as much as
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

diet of three dollars a week and a
Delmonico bill for $9S. so for little
luncheon for himself an a few friends,
he frankly prefers the latter, even II
it involves a tip of 81 so to the wait
er in addition to the bill. There is
only one symptom in John w. Midas's
case as 1 have diagnosed it that in
dicates a desire on his part to lose
his money"
whats that?" asked Mr.. White
ehoker.
HE never turns his back on a game
Of poker" said the Idiot. ITS my
honest belief that if Midas were on the
top floor of a burning twenty-story
hotel and somebody on the ire escape
on the way down through the smoke
and flames were to propose a round
of Jacks he's sit down on the iron lad
der ten stories above the earth ana
safety, and call for the cards, and
what is more. play the game with q
Napoleonic serenity which not even a
red-hot balcony beneath his feet could
disturb. Glib humorists like to talk
of the fate of an iceberg in Hades.
I believe John w. Midas would be a
cool proposition in any climate save
that of the North Pole. :"
And there" asked the Biblioma-
MAC.
He'd be warm baby" smiled the
Idiot. well, then there are the
others, Uncle Russell Green and Aunt
Hetty Sage 1 haven't observed on the
part of either of them any pronounced
desire to enjoy a pauper's death, so
you needn't ask me to call on them
Mr.. Green has kept on putting and
calling. putting out here, and calling
in there, but with never a scolding for
anybody, because he didn't lose money
| by It. Aunt Hetty likewise has utter
ed no complaints if after heavy
financial storm her cellar happened to
be flooded with cash. or if she had to
call in a plumber to stop leakage of
her income pipes which covered the
bathroom floor with uncollected cou-
pons. All she asks, as l understand it,
is to be left alone with her misery. If
she suffers from a fatty degeneration
of her bank account, she isn't calling
for help at public dinners. If Mr..
| Green's financial leg is dropsical, he
doesn't beg Sunday-schools to relieve
his suffering with a long pull, and a
strong pull and pull altogether boys.
So / believe in letting them alone.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

the law called for. and pocketed the
difference. The usurer lent money on
the next crop at a thousand per cent.
interest, and took the entire fruit OF
the fellah's labor in payment. Even
that did not settle the debt and the
poor man dragged on from year to
year, always in the clutches of the
money-lender. The debt was carried
forward from generation to generation.
have known men who had been striv-
ing all their lives to pay their grand
fathers debts and leave a clean sheet
for their children.
1--WE have changed all that. If a
man needs to borrow money nowadays
in order to plant his crops, he can go
to the national bank. which has
branches in all the large towns, or to
the governments agricultural bank,
which lends to farmers and peasants at
reasonable rates of interest. Taxes
have been reduced, although the reve-
nue. has been greatly increased, and
care is taken that the people pay only
that which the government receives.
Lord Cromer's moral courage is as
great as his physical bravery. When
Hicks Pasha's army was annihilated
and Gordon persisted at Khartoum,
there went up throughout Great Brit
ain a mighty clamor for immediate re-
venge. Cromer single-handed, with
stood the clamor and conquered it. He
knew an immediate advance against
the Mahdists would lead only to fur
Their disasters, like those which had
befallen Hicks and Gordon, and he in
sisted on waiting until he brought the
British government and the British
people round to his views. He worked
and watched and waited for fifteen
years, until Kitchener's victory at Om-
durham gave him his ample reward.
For twenty years Lord Cromer has
been the uncrowned king of Egypt.
The British government has confined
itself to indorsing his actions and re-
warding him, from time to time, with
new decoration or a new rank. Some
time ago he refused the offer of the
viceroyalty of India, and it is said he
has declined, on three or four occasions,
to enter the British cabinet as For
eign Minister and Colonial Secretary.
He believes that there is no work
greater than that which he is doing in
Egypt. Yet he carefully follows the
course of the worlds affairs. and at
critical moments his counsel is eagerly
sought by the British government.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-03

In 1888. after Arab Pasha's rebellion
had been crushed by the British, ma
1or of engineers named Evelyn Barring
was made British agent and consul
general in Egypt. Soon after he took
up his duties a Turkish merchant call
ed at the majors office in Cairo and
was astonished to find 1t was unneces-
sary to bride him in order to secure at
tention and get business done. Graft
fed by this fact, he gave the English
man what he thought was good advice.
Depart from this country" he said.
FI perceive that you are an honest man
who has come into a nest of scoun-
drels. You can do no good here.
Everything in the government of this
country is rotten. Justice is bought at
price, and the very judges are worse
thieves than those whom they punish.
The starving 'fellabeen' (peasantry) are
logged into paying their taxes, but the
rich landholders need pay no taxes at
all, provided they bride the officials"
Il am here to change all that" Bar
ing replied.
ficials is vampire who lives by drain
ing our life blood. Do you think they
VIII let you spoil their feast? They
will kill you, rather"
Il will stay and fight them. You
follow the Prophet, and you must be-
lieve, as I do. that the sword of Azrael
falls when Allah Wills
Allah shuts his eyes to a fool"
snapped the Turk quoting a favorite
Mohammedan Droverb. within the
year 1 shall see your funeral pass my
6aeS."
That was twenty years ago. Evelyn
Barring still lives. but he is now the
Earl of Cromer, P. c., G. c. B., G. c.
NJ. G., K. c. S. l., C. 1. E., D. c. L., and
most of the remainder of the alphabet
During those twenty years he has not
only managed to keep himself alive in
the midst of hundreds of enemies who
yearned to eliminate him from the
scene. hut he has justly earned his
proudest title, THE Maker of Modern
Egypt"
So far as its government is concern
ed, Egypt is an anomaly. The Khedive,
Abbas Hilmi, is supposed to be it's
ruler, under the suzerainty of the Sui
tan of Turkey. but since 1883 the coun-
try has been practically a dependency
of Great Britain. The Khedive, the
Sultan, and even the British govern
ment are merely figureheads. Lord
Cromer rules as a benefcent autocrat,
doing exactly as he thinks best in all
the details of administration, and even
in great international crises. He is
Egypt's uncrowned king.
When Barring was made British agent
in 1888 he was. comparatively speaking,
unknown. Most people thought more