, 1904-04-19
The Forty Liars.

Al u regular IOunu-up OF tle ROCKY
MOuntion division of the Independent
Order of Forty Liars. on Saturday ~
ening, the most noble prevaricator hav.
ing directed the breath tester to *.
anime all present to see that they were
in possession of the annual password,
explanations and signals, and to re-
port to the most noble promoter of
tw~enty-seven karat falsehoods wheth.
err all were so qualified to remain, and
the report having been satisfactory,
the most noble prevaricator announced
that after the report of the custodian
of campaign lies for the past veal and
the annual statements Of the division
BARTENDER Il o noble beer yanker
had been handed in and passed upon,
the next business TO come before the
division would be the nomination and
the election OF most noble prevaricator
to serve during the year 1881.
Under the rules of our order" said
the NJ. n. p, ten minutes will be Civ
en- each aspirant for the office named
in which to address the meeting. 1t
10 stoOu tllal lbS Nllllt Slull DS
devoted to short anecdotes, personal
"reminiscences, etc, and the brethren
will be given ample scope to enlarge
upon any detail which the subject may
suggest. Our usual custom is to de,
vote at least one hour to this highly
entertaining exercise, and l call to
mind now some of the most enjoyable
moments of my life spent in listening
10 others or in constructing for the
amusement of others a few of the most
entertaining and instructive %falsehoods
that the history of our most noble or
der has known.
We have several prominent visit.
ing members here from other parts OF
the country, among whom | am graft
fed to name Brother Eli Perkins
Brother O'Keefe, of Pixies Peak. BrotG,
ers Morey and Barnum. from the east,
who will address the meeting. perhaps,
for a few minutes after the other busl
ness has been disposed Of.
After singing the opening ode. &C.
companied by the Tyre. the usual or
der of business having been attended,
to, the addresses of asplrants for the
office of NJ. N. P. of the Rocky Noun
tain division were called for.
The last speaker was Brother Jede
diah Holcomb. whothus addressed the
assemblage:
Most noble prevaricator of the
Rocky Mountain division of Forty Ii
ars, and brethren Of the order: Many
years ago., when | was a mere strip
ling, as it were, and just upon the
verge of manhood, so to speak, l was
on the green grass south of Chicago
near where Drexel boulevard comes in
to South park, thinking Of my hard
luck and wishing that my future might
be more prosperous than any past.
That locality vas then a bowling
wilderness compared with what it is
now. and where today the beautiful
drives and walks are so inviting there
was nothing then but prairie and
swamp. with here and there a scrub
oak tree.
Chicago was a stirring western city
then, but she was young and small.
She had not then accumulated the fab.
ulous wealth Of new and peculiar met
ropolitan ouors which she now enjoys,
and in place of the rich. fructifying
fragrance of the stock yards, there was
nothing but the wild h~oneysuckle and
the dead horse.
"Out where some of the most beau
tiful residences now stand there vas
nothing then but the dark thistle nod
ding in the wind, or the timid picnic
humble bee, hanging on the autumn
Dough and yearning to be gathered in
by the small boy.
las l sat there long ago, and, shroud-
I'd in the September haze, was dream
ng of a fortunate future for myself, l
leard the muffied tread Of innumerable
drawing neare and nearer. The
ound was like the football Of a regi-
aent of infantry approaching, and II
rose to see what 1t was.
Il had not long to wait for soon
here hove in sight a very singular
pectacle. First came a large Illinois