Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1904-02-23

liner who advertised Tor the small
of a shilling, paid in advance to
ish the applicant with the secret
uccess in any business. His dupes
were many, received in return
their silver a card upon which was
ted: First be sure you are
I, and then go ahead, steadily"
.s counsel, although scarcely worth
Ing for in coin, undoubtedly fits
d emergencies in love no less than
either relations of life. The diff.
IN is, of course, to be sure one is
t, therefore usually it is well to
he haste slowly and with discre.
People are not always in love when
N think they are. SO far as is
aDwn, no statistics have yet been
applied upon the subject, but all
evidence goes to show that com.
actively few persons, men or wo.
1n, marry their first loves. The
frage man falls in love with sever.
girls, one after the other, perhaps,
pn with two or more at a time, and
IS out again, more or less easily,
lore he marries. His love may be
APPRECIATED; the lady may say NO"
having said "Yes," may change
mind, or he may change his be.
e anything serious comes of his
4ncy So 1t often chances that there
ge been four or FIVE young women
N pn each Of whom for a longer or
tprter period he has looked with ad-
Patton as the one and only, the
Wagon of her sex. Yet, after all,
fe has married none of these, but an.
Qs1er, and his so doing has probably
teen fortunate for all concerned, the
oman whom he did not marry, the
ote whom he took to wife, and last,
bNt not least, for himself.
When Il man believes himself in
lpFe, he is wiser not to mention his
nelief either to the object of his af.
Iection or to any confidant, however
Ifnsty. II is better to endure the tor.
fnres Of suspected love and uncertain.
~ for a considerable time, which in
this case means time for considera.
ton, than TO propose marriage and
Fegret the proposal later on. Sus.
Qense is unpleasant, but prudence may
pfeserve a man from agonies much
more 10 be dreaded than suspense.
spch as come when, after having
Apoken. he discovers that he has mis-.
laken his own heart, and that what
NJ imagined to be true and imperish.
Hble love was but a passing fancy.
len who propose on the spur of the
nOment frequently live to repent their
|mpulsiveness. It has been well said
pat TO marry the first girl with whom
bne falls in love is like plucking a
Aaisy from the lawn outside the gate
before seeing the treasures of the
pose garden. Thackeray says that:
Every man ought to be In love a few
Zines, and have at least one sharp
attack Of the fever" Quite apart from
the personal equation of imprudence,
a hasty proposal is by no means an
mmiNed compliment to the woman to
whom 1t is made. The man who asks
that a woman marry him almost be
fore he knows her, certainly before
She has had time to decide whether
She wishes to know more of him, de.
serves to be promptly rejected as
just rebuke for his unseemly haste.
This method of courtship has it's fol.
lowers, and their numbers increase;
men who pride themselves upon max
ing up their minds quickly, upon act.
ing with dispatch upon any and all
occasions; men who hold that in the
present age Of rush and hurry the
average man cannot AFFORD to waste
time even in woing. This excuse,
however, in no degree does away with
the fact that 1t implies egregious van.
~ upon the part Of any man to as
sume that any woman will give herself
b him while he Is practically a stran.
ger to her, and the majority Of self
Fespecting women will answer "No"
b so hasty an offer, even though in
elination may point the other way.
Though We snatch what we desire,
We may not snatch too eagerly"
bays Matthew Arnold in The Sick
King OF Bokhara."
A man Of proper tact and true cour
tesy will take time and pains to make
ihe acquaintance OF the woman with
whom he has fallen in love. and. what
is still more necessary. viii give her
time to become acquainted with him
self.