davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10
THE

harmful. But tho scientist demands IT.
1r history Is to lie OF any service to us
tho wnrt must DO painted ns well as the
flashing eye. II Is useful To know that
Carlyle once threw the bacon at1his
wife. After hearing that Gays my
irritable CITY friend, IT take no more In
me philosophy? 1.-THE bad temper
cd old gentleman, Of what Use Is he to
the world?" Hy dear friend.
have YOU never thrown tho bacon 1T.
S5,,r wife? - Have sou never gr,im.
b!ed at the dinner OF hnshed mutton
twice n week. MS though Amy woman
would not be only too pleased to provide
night, cooked ny Il French chef" II
only yo,, could afford to give her sui
ficient money for housekeeping or s,ich
q scale. $3.50 Aro you never at times
unreasonable, bad tempered, quarrel
some. Yes. I know sou are not Carlyley
THAT Is what am coming to. Because,
you very often--wel. let us say now
and agan-make m ass Of yourself, do
you regard yourself as incapable OF ever
behaving sensiby? BECAUSE you are.
generally speaking a. poor thing, are you
hopeless OF ever being great Under any
circumstances whatsoever What / want
you to say to yourself Is this: These
great men OF whom we read. these men
we are told and rightly told to admire,
tlSeso men who have done heroic deeds,
who have served we'll their kind, they
We're men as you and +, compounded of
much lttleness together with a little
greatness. Study tiseir lives and learn
that because man had faults and fall
aings, such as you and L have, that Is no
reason why lie should despair of ever
acting ,1obly.. Lives OF great men,
swectly sang old Longfelow. 'all remind
lis We can make our lives sublime" But
not If we imagine them exalted creatures
OF different clay entirely to ourselves,
toe far removed from us to be OF any
use to Is as examples.
r AM not thinking of tho differentiated.
scanda1-loving reader, who, feeling
= himself hopelessly contemptible.5
hugs to himself the consolation
that all men are equally contemplate.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

days OF national surety and trust COM
panics, bonded trustees and safe avenues
through which trust funds can be invest
ed and disbursed there is no necessity
for placing one member at the mercy Of
another member OF the same family.
Human nature IS alike all the world
over, and subject to similar temptations.
Sclfshncss. to 4 more or less degree,
nbides in the hearts OF all men and wo-
men. The Instances are rare where one
member is really qualified to do full JUS
ticefto all OF the other members OF his
own family. ai. 81
He may not realize that his alliances
outside influence him In his dealings 10
the prtiudicc of HIS own kindred. and
vet he finds excuses for doing scant JUS
tice and giving himself the lions share.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

The whole principle is wrong. Ones
children are each bone Of ones bone. and
flesh OF one's flesh. and each should there's
fore be Just as dear to parents who are
responsible for their being, and the prin-
clplcs and predictions transmitted to
them. II they are weak and betray I'M
fortunate tendencies, they need all the
more the patrimony, Of their parents.
Put them in the hands of dsnterested
trust companies. OF which there are many
all over the United States. Do not cast
an indelible reflection upon them by with
holding from them their rightful inner
itanccs, or by placing them under anoth-
err member or the family whose super.
vision is always CALLING. and rarely with
out cause Putting such power in the
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10
q BY
JEROME X. JEROME.

grandfather OF Dur beloved King Eds
ward. Eyer tho great Uncle Of Queen z
Victoria, It appeared. rad not been
spared. What was the world coming TOT
Loyalty seems to DO growing Apace IN
this country. It Is perhaps fortunate,
for themselves that most Of our Ms I
torinns nre dead. Mr.. Justin Mccarthy
If he bio spared to us much longer VIII I,
find himself. one fears. In the 8 tocks bo- 4
fore many years. Ills book "The History
Of the -Four Georges must surely make
the blood OF every loyal Britlsher1 boil 1
in lila veins. ,rhackerny, this lady would
have had whipped ut the carts tall. Il !
am waiting for somc affectionate stub
iecc to protest against the shameful
stories dealing with the domestic life OF
blurf King Hal. Where are we TO stop
| There are reigning l,onarchs who, %
believe trace their ancestry back 70
| Noah Some loyal subject will be Wilt (
| Ing to the papers demanding that nlf
re ference to that vineyard shall DO sup-8
| pressed in future editions OF the Bible
| Then. there is Adam. am given to I'm.
derstand that Adam was an ancestor OF
our beloved King Edward It has been
calculated as possible. according to dates
furnished by history, that Adam could
he King Edwards grandfather only one
hundred and eighty times removed. It II 1
not for the children OF loyal British sub,
jects to be taught that their beloved mon
alcl,'s greet grandfather, orig q hundred
and eighty times removed. was made out
OF mere garden mold. Cain likewise
was a. sort OF great uncle to ostr royal
family. Surely the first few chapters 9 cg
Genesis might with advantage be now
allowed to drop out. Ali that business
with the applet! ~ It has been made
too much of as It is. The highly fndelicats /
refenences to Ewes costume are surely
.'scandnlo,s reading" for the subject OF e
her present grandson. Tho worlds liter
atlre will have to be revised and all y
ma ter calculated to throw discredit up \
on the ancestors OF our present neisn-E
Ing royal families eliminated II y onder y
how much Of 1t will be left. in
JEROME X JEROAIE
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

Don't" size answers. nov you We made
mo lose my place" ,rhe music wor-
rer her; when they let down the cur
tuin and turn up the lights she Is happy.
H<Ht, ClaEHvIY PAPERS Is not y
book to be taken up and read
u stra ight through 1t would he like
sitting down to read through
1'epys Diary OF the, Percy Anecdotes.
] heard Of q man onco who. starting ~
page one and finishing at page four nun
idred and thirtecr.. rend through con-
acicntious1y, not missing n line, u work
entitled zone Thousand and ono Gems
OF British 1Inmour." Like poor King
Henry he never smiled again. 1t was
not the fault Of tho book: 1t was the
fault OF the darncd fool himself. The
book was an exhaustive. comprehensive
compendium. / hnve never heard q joke
before or sine. that was not IN 1t. On
the shelves OF thousands Of hard WORK
Ing men and women 1T remains 70 tn,s
day, valued and soryice;Lble friend.
Hut like Betsy Prigg's bottle 1t should
bc reached down only when the reader
teels 90 disposed. This man sat down
before the FIRE with It, took 1t UP to bed
with him, read 1t through without a
break, one gem Of British himor after
another 1t Is alphabetically arranged
commencing with tile free translation
or Hebrew joke against Adam and
ending With a witty anecdote told by
a famous Statesman in the course OF
speech, advocating the adoption OF an
imperial zollvcroin. The largest division
GENES under the letter G. which cons
tatns all the Jokes ever made about cats
aid all the funny things that have ever
been or that ever will be said BY chill
dren. But D. embracing all the best
(hrown British humnr connected witol
dogs. runs 1t pretty close. Often, after
q merry evening, when friends & nave
nt around recounung stories kagJn-l
ming: Il must tell you what George
said the other night" or well, speak
inC about retriever dogs I have reach
ed this book down from It's shelf 1t Is
admirably indexed. tho groups being
carefully arranged and divided into their
proper subsecuons, and with patience
rarely fail to trace what George said or
what the retriever did to It's original
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

AS a result OF the recent cotton corner
all through the sunny South will be found
next year jasmine covered cottages,
Church organs and house pianolas that
were not there before. aud In many II
hamlet and cross.road village that here
tofore were silent as the grave one will
listen to the gleeful tones OF the graph
ophone as itcroons. ooh, sullys the Boy
for Me" or I'VE Gathered in the Cans
blcrs' Tin"
No. corners are not the bugaboos the
ordinary mortals suppose them to be-
except to sullys. The result OF all cor
and gone all who had to do with them
are wiser and better men,. AS practi-
cal objects lessons corners are blue-rb-
bon winners every time.
Way back in the COS Uncle Dan Drew
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

All corners are alike in their results
must necessarily be alike. a corner.
whether in stocks or the staples. Is the
successful completion OF n trick In
finance" whereby the trucker compels the
tilckee to pay to<him any tax he demands.
the amount being only limited by the size
OF the purse OF the one trapped All his
tory shows there Is some unknown and
apparently unknowablc law which or
dains that che VINO corners will have the
proceeds OF his corner, taken from him"
b Mr. Suly spent Il day with me at my
Office In Boston ;nst after he 80 success
fully completed his great corner in cot
ton, and said to him the above and tried
Ia show him how in thirty-four years
study OF markets ] had arrived at my
conclusion.
Corners are like bois-they raise mis-,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

has been eyes too bright or q personality
too magnetic. no man wishes the record
of the encounter read by the Other Wo-
man in all Its embarrassing detail. There
are things a man can never explain to the
satisfaction Of the woman most Interested
in him. That Is why the German profess
sor should be restrained by law from
further demonstration of his theory. I'M
uglne what would happen II. through his
, mechanic-psychic mechanism, q pair OF
fond ndorlng blue eyes should peer Into
somebody's manly breast, and Mortified
SEQ upon his hearts throne not her
image only. but black-eyed one also
n Slamesed occupation OF the place sup
posed to be hers alone; two queens IN
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

, source. But. as ] have said, 1t Is a book
to be dipped into. not read.
r>r1t7 CTsEl5vEY pA1'ERs is a book
7fn be read for half an hour and
then aid down again. It has not
ia spice OF the Greville Memoirs
ia charm or Lord llaivey's Rcmin-
is,.onccs. Harvey was u keen observer,
= fearless dissector. and n brilliant man
~ letters. Crcevey was merely an amtls-
Inc paul 1,ry, a gossip-monger OF the
valet order. But the valet Is OF moro
ao,.vjce 10 the student Of history than he
a,.nr p.els the credit OF being TO his
vnlot II Is said, no man is a hero. When
a.. Nero mounts his prancng horse he
fi,.annrars from the Wallets view. When
thnT 'va1nt sees him Is when he Is pull
ing ar his socks. II one wishcs to Under
Stand mankind It Is necessary to know
mi mi tl,a hero but the man. 70 act
the hero OH the stage with the limcight
turned upon one Is comparatively easy
The same actor can be hero off the
stage also But 1t does not follow OF
n.ccssity. the two things arc distinct.
field md vet be a poor .hng at two
o'clock In the morning. phs Mays hem
nnckod lion tanner. crouching behind the.
king Of the forest, while his ,erma CANT
wife outside tile cage cxclaims Come
out, you coward" is quite natural
character. Bellsarius and the Duke OF
Marlborough, In their own homes carried
meekness to the yetr:e of tmbecility.
statesmen, excellent at teaching firm
nesg to a nation. have proved themselves
mere ftetful children when face to face zee
With personal disappointment. II the
proper study OF mankind be man, the
study must be complete. we want to
know how our philosophers behaved
when suffering from the toothache.
- + course there is a certain class OF
reader who should never attempt
biography II would rather not
learn anatomy. an art student
once told me. KNOWING what the firm
flesh was made of-the structure of the
shap.ly lmbs-the cause of natures
wcndrous red and white upon a young
girls face-would rob me of all delight
In my work." For such knowledgeI is
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

Science is making dangerous advances
toward mans paradalsical preserves. and,
strange to say.the male biped. summing
himself in fancied security. remains to-
tally oblivous and unsuspicious Of the
dark peril that impends,
He should take warning. In Science he
has an enemy working with fearful indus
try along lines that may result In havoc
with his happiness. Science, indeed. In
stead OF being mans chief blessing is
likely to prove his most disastrous curse,
The mischief, along With our Christmas
cards. is being made In Germany.
1t is nothing less than an instrument
calculated to jeopnrdizo, mot wholly de-
stroy. the sweet, ingenious trustfulness Of
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10
ILLS

have been much impressed by the
present tendency OF the wealthy men of
America to copy the English custom OF
bcquenthing their property to the Oldest
son. and giving their sons absolute power
in the distribution Of their estates With
ont even placing the restraint Of bond
upon them.
It is generally recognized that men who
nmass fortunes, great or small. have the
right to dispose OF them by will or other
wise In any way that pleascs them best.
NJ however, they have families, they
should be governed By justice to each Of
their heirs. giving TO them individually an
equal portion OF their entire estates.
One or more OF these heirs may be way
ward or otherwise incompetent tottake
care OF their Inheritance. but in these
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

started en- up with his famous. or in
famous. Northwest corner, and since that
day we have had industrial corners. wheat
corners, corn corners. cotton corners and
corned juice corners. and would any one
be fool enough to say that the lesson
each has taught has not been OF lasting
benefit. of the public? The Deacon Whites,
the Joe Letters, the Hartman Hill Nor
gan n orthern Pacifics and the Sullys a re
beacon lights along the highways OF
finance, and they serve the same good
purpose that the cankng Of the chain
served In our forcfnthers' day when they
held the swaylng bones OF Dick Turpni
after he had been treated to a midnight
soiree ut tho hands OF his progressive
nelghbors.ti.
Cotton has been down; cotton has been
IN, and cotton is in the balance, Some
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

realize how few. men would be able to
lay bare their souls before the world and
yet gain3in the estimation OF all. Never
before has the life Of any man been writ
ten. which Is so powerful a rebuke to
unheeding and careless lives. as this life
as it towers In giant purity above all
meanness OF motive and paltry party ex-
pedients To Gladstone the whole world
was :, sacred place, surrounded and en-
Vcloped and indwelt by the presence OF
God. The dignity OF man, the sacredness
OF the soul. the divine possibilities OF
each existence are the dominant notes OF
his whole mental career: but what
think has been revealed TO us most force
fully Is the spirit In which Mr.. Gladstone
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

often proven unworthy and prohigate,
and has so disslpated the estate as to
make paupers Of his family. S
b Daughters often make unfortunate mar
riages, but there are always trust and
guarantee companies which are relia BILE
and competent to take charge OF their
affairs II empowered to do SO.
There can hardly be a com bination Of
circumstances that would Justify plnc-
ing by will any member, OF a. family un-l
der the domination Of the oldest son. IL
he Is worthy of the trust he does not de-
sire the responsibility, and It Is unfair
to lnticts a conscientious person with 40
undesirable a 8ourtEn: i { unworthy, 1t is
manifesty unfair and hazardous, For
lnnumerable reasons entalment Is incom-
patible with American ideas OF equal
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

selfish friend. It would have been imposHsai-
BILE for Mr.. Gladstone to accomplish what
he has wrought. impossible for him to
have continued Ills public career at so
advanced All age. had it not been for the
untailing care OF the woman who loved
him SO we'll and to whom he returned so
ideal devotion.
But the secret OF Mr.. Gladstones great
ness lay In the fact that his life was
founded on that which binds humanity to
God. and there is nothing to-day. think.
that thrills rs more than to hear from the
pen OF ono who was called to stand In
the centre. OF the nationalalfe at West
minister, that the secret OF his success lay
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

John Morley's Life OF Mr.. Gladstone"
Is, one OF the great biographies ofNour
time. and further than that. It Is the po-
sltlcal history OF the Victorian era. The
work OF compiling such a biography has
been stupendous. aud Mr.. Morley says
that between two and three hundred
Thousand written papers must have pass
ed under his view. The gigantic task.
however. has been accomplished In a
manner that has drawn nothing hut praise
from all who have read the wonderful
work, and has added a great classic bio
graphy to our language. AS We read the
wonderful record OF that great soul. writ
ten nightly for seventy years. his doubts,
his hopes, his fears, his aspirations, We
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

lievcs he does. Although she Is getting
her grain short weight. she is just as hap
py as though she We're not swindled. Why
bring the scales into evidence?
The name Of the learned German
could not spell correctly for publication
IL were offered n ton of radIum. 1t
sounds like different kind of sausage
and looks like q linotype line when the
printer suffers. But he claims with pro-
fessional soletnnIty that he has almost
perfected delicate instrument that will
sound the depths of mans thoughts and
feelings as far as his affections arc con-
cerned, by settling some subtle psychic
force at work upon the subject In tho
same room with this instrument which
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

chief while forming and cause great pain
when they come to a. head. but after that
well. they clear and purify tho system
and seldom come again in the same spot.
As circulating mediums, distributors OF
wealth. corners arc corkers. They come
as the sycloncs come, without heralding
or warning, and they scrape up all the
idle dormant dollars In the locality they
affect, and land them in a bunch IN one
SPOT. and then-well. then they arc scat
tered again as widely as before, but the
gathering and scattering are, as whole,
good for the people.
. 81 course. the fellow who had them be-
fore the cyclone struck Is, a sufferer. but
his loss is the other fellows gain. for cy-
clones never get away With anything per-
permanently, They always drop what
ever they have picked up
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

finish be kept as green as that Of his pre-
decessors, should be the heartfelt wish OF
all lovers OF the things that are as
against the things that SEEM
In treating OF corners MS corners. their
evils and their benefits. II trust ''the
Street. will stop for amoment and give
a long, kindly thought to those who form
successful corners. Rare. indeed, arc men
In any age who have the physical and
mental make ups to carry to a. success
full completion a great corner.
II, To such men the task OF reforming Ma
poleons scattered army on Its retreat
from MOSCOW would have been an every
day task a Dan Sully. with his tres
mendous nerve. unnnchlng courage ana
great. big heart, would have taken UP
tho Corsican's task where he was laying
1t down. and In forty-eiEht hours would
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

I had imagined n sort of Monte Carlo
game Of chance, but Instead found IT to
be the most simple. yot skillful, graceful
and exciting athletic sport I have ever
! Il II requires greater skill OF ego and
hand, and greater strength and supplc-
ness, than foot ball or base ball, and a.
tie same time is less brutal ana less COM
The observer can grasp It's general trend
anu enter into the excitement Of the
snort after a few moments Of observation,
without explanation,
IN a large arena, by@twp against two.
Sometimes ny six Individual conteslan!ts.
tIlr action Ia rapid, and ,reauircs he.
s upplepess Of a cat or a uger and me.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

strength and endurance of q trained ain
lete, A more interesting and thrilling
entertainment ] have never watched
could not but realize the progress IN
the Spanish aud Cuban race toward cly-
illzaton when | looked about that enor-
NOUS arena OF four tiers Of packed bones
and saw, the interest and eNcite,nieni
which a few wears ago were awakened
only by a bloody bun fight,
or course understood th9 nterest5 10
BIO auickened By the possibility. OF gain
or loss. as large sums were stak l,a !. On ~
I3ut his fact does not render the sport
any more immoral Than ll5rcnlrers Q Yacht
race. / a foot. ball or a baseball game, or
an election
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

undertook all his public work. His name
is forever raised above the cheap sheer
OF the cynic. The misunderstanding Of
motives can no longer prevail for whether
any man agrees with Mr.. Ciladstpne's POI
litical views or not. he is found to recog-
nize in him a. sincere and honest Chris
tian. From his earliest youth to his ex-
treme old age his whole spirit hung, as 1t
were. upon divine guidance When he
stood up TO deliver one of his great
speeches in the House OF Commons, he.
the central figure on whom all eyes We're
turned. and for whose utterances all Eng.
land waited, murmured n prayer from
the Psalms, "Oh turn Thou unto me and
have mercy upon me. Give Thy strength
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

mate rights and share IN the estates Of
unwise parents who would infict injustice
upon their children or their chldren's
children. (
In almost all cases Wills of this kind
have been broken. as they should be, It
is we'll that there are laws which recog-
nizc Individual rights, and which can right
many wrongs that have been done
through prcjudiclal Influences that have
been exerted against heirs. 9TH.
1t is to be hoped that the time Will
never come when entailment Of estates
through the oldest son may be established
by will or otherwise in this country, and
the descendants OF our property Fllolders
be impoverished as they have been in
England BY tho oldest son, who has so
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10

hands OF one child over another naturally
begets in the child so honored a dom-
neering and authoritative spirit that be-
comes insufferable.
Parents have no guarantee that the IA
vorite child will not become demoralized
by favorltism that gives him SO much
power over the beneticiaries OF his own
fathers will. And again, why should a
son more than a daughter be SO honored?
a daughter and her children may be more
credit to the family than the sons and
their children. Then why place them in
n position where they are necessarily at
"a great disadvantages?
Parents partially Is generally followed
by legal action on the part of the victims
OF such Partially to obtain their legiti-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-04-10
lORLEYS LIFE OF MR. GLADSTONE p LADY, HENRI SOMERSET
Il copyright, 1904, By w. r. Hearst.0

In that faith which, pervaded every act
and every part OF his life; t was the
pure faith Of child. confirmed by the .ex-3
perience and conviction OF manhood. the
faith that made faithful" because to him
there was no dividing line between the
religious and the secular. His speectles
we're the result OF his prayers. and his
prayers were the Offering OF his service
It was this rare combination OF a great
political career lived side by side with,
r. deep devotion a sweet. harmonious
home life. and nm enthusiastic loyalty
to his church. that has produced the
greatest living figure OF our day and gene
ration, 4s bgs43} 5t3{s .H4{.t7 s5& tIS sigg5