davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
GWEN 4 GooD. . cTzkEsso On 4.

Amateur. Musician convinced d Shers
Mere Limit ations to Liberty. b t55I
Timothy L " ood run, IN discussing
New York state poll tics privately with
#a friend some time. ago, and referring
<to2 the Platt- Odell feud ] told the fol-
lowing story: i. KS 5z5 *
Il There was a young man." he said,
.'.twho lived in a Harlem fiat. He was
always blowing his own horn, He was
trying to master the blows and stops
of a cornet, much, to the annoyance
Sof his neighbors.,- Out 'ehof patience
one night, from loss Of sleep, the man
+ in the fiat above him rushed down in
his nightrobe and, knocking ton his
door, exclaimed: = s>@e,.% >es z.$.:. + o. ~
|. For heavens sake, man, don't you
know that you are destroying the
peace OF the neighborhood..' <,,1.z,
| " 6 None of your business came the
voice from within. I pay for this fiat
and I am going to do as I choose in
it, !: e.. ;,
''His infuriated neighbor went up
stairs, resolving to get square, He
stuffed all the stops in the basins and
bathrooms, turned on the water full
force, and then went to bed. It was
but short time before the half
drowned cornetist banged at his door.
r*Come in,' replied the man higher
up. And the enthusiastic bugler saw
figure in the bed attired in it's
nightshirt, with fishpole in his hand,
line floating in a foot of water on
the floor.
"'Good heavens, man! Don't you
know that you are flooding the
house,? he shouted.
"'None of your business said the
man reclining against the brace of
pillows. It's my fiat, and 1 can do
just as I choose in it, New York
Times.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
!. TALK ON ADVERTISING
Byc. Post . Pubshers at Il Battle clsek

I
& Some thoughtful man MI ght say that
If. what you anufacture has merit,
once once you get q trade establtshe peo-
e4Will continue to purchase, even IL
the advertising is stopped, but to act
on that conclusion would be a fatal
mistake, for there are; always bright,
men on the lookout to steal your ap-
ples,' and it you give them the chance
they will come in and take the fruit,
sure: Right here let us drive a nail,
not a. shingle nail but a forty penny
spike: Your article must have merit.
far and away beyond the ordinary un-
advertised thing. It should be the
very best that human intelligence and
ingenuity can produce. Then you haye
a foundation to build upon. that will
not slip out from under when the
building grows heavy. There are per-
sons ignorant enough to believe that
poor article can be advertised into
success. It cannot and any one who
tries the experiment will pay heavily
for his experience. Critically examine
any we'll known and advertised article
that has been years on the market and
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
He Wasn't Fined.

An amusing story is told at the e1
pense of magistrate.
One day the man of the law had oc-
casion to go to town some twenty
four miles from his court, and when,
having transacted his business, he
went to the railway station, he was
amazed to find that there was no train
for some hours. AS he was due to take
his seat upon the bench within an
hour and a half, he sought the nearest
cycle agent and inquired how long q
motor car would take to cover the
twenty-four miles.
1.-TWO and a half hours" was the re-
ply, to which the magistrate express
ed establishment, stating that he
thought it might be done in an hour.
"No doubt it could" replied the
agent, "but the last time saw you
you fined me ten dollars and costs for
furious driving" However, the jour
ney was done, and no summons has
yet been issued.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
Oldest Naval Veteran.

William Maccabee. Americas old.
est naval veteran and an inmate OF
the sailors home near Philadelphia.
has been celebrating his one hundred
and first birthday. The old man who
was born in Baltimore, Sept. %, 1903,
entered the navy as an apprentice
boy on the frigate Constitution. His
birthday anniversaries in recent years
have been memorable events. Last
year Attorney General MOODY, then
secretary of the navy. was in Phila-
delphia, and made it a special point
to congratulate the old man. "Billy''
is still nimble on his feet, and on his
birthday danced a couple of steps
Of the sailors hornpipe, to the un-
measured delight of his aged fellow
inmates. ..-> >
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

it will be found to possess exceptional
merit.
In ancient days newspaper publish
ers considered an advertisement an
evil but necessary evil, and that it
should be hidden away as carefully
as possible, so that no one would dis
cover that the paper was trying to
make little money by inserting pub.
lie announcements. A paper run that
way to-day would fail.
The most successful exponents OF
the new plan Of doing business with
ink and paper are using every possi-
be means to make the announcements
attractive and sought after by the
readers.
1t is safe to say that thousands of
women read the newspaper-not the
telegraphic page, but the pages con-
tanning announcements of bargains in
stockings, skirts, hats, gloves, pianos.
furniture, food for the table, etc.
You have been invited to visit Bat.
tie Creek for the purpose OF viewing
one of the most unique advertising
buildings in the world, also to look
over large business built up, sus.
tanned, nourished and kept active by
sunshine, and, at the same time, have
an opportunity to see one Of the most
thrifty, active and prosperous towns
of it's size in the world, built up large
ly by the same kind of sunshine.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
SAFEST FOOD.

In Any Time Of Trouble Is Grape-Nuts.
Food to rebuild the strength and
that is predigested must be selected
when one is convalescent. At this
time there is nothing so valuable as
Grape-Nuts, for the reason that this
food is all nourishment and is also all
digestible nourishment. woman who
used it says:
Some time ago l was very i'll with
typhoid fever, so i'll everyone thought
l would die, even myself. 1t left me
so weak 1 could not properly digest
food of any kind and also had much
bowel trouble which left me a weak,
helpless wreck.
II needed nourishment as badly as
anyone could, but none of the tonics
helped me until I finally tried Grape
Nuts food morning and evening. This
not only supplied food that i thought
delicious as could be, but it also made
me perfectly well and strong again
so l can do all my housework, sleep
we'll, can eat anything without any
trace of bowel trouble, and for that
reason alone Grape-Nuts food is worth
it's weight in gold.' Name given by
Postum Co., Battle Greek, Mich. :
Typhoid fever, like some other dis
eases, attacks the bowels and. fire.
quently sets up bleeding and makes
them for months incapable of digesting
the starches and therefore pre-digested
Grape-Nuts is invaluable for the we'll
known reason that in Grape-Nuts all
the starches have been transformed
into grape sugar. This means that the
first stage of digestion has been me-
chanicaly accomplished in Grape Nuts.
food at the factories and therefore
anyone, no matter how. weak the stom-
ach, can handle it and grow strong, for
all the nourishment is still there. 5%s54 ..s5. !
There's q sound reason and 10 days
trial proves. lT 4 ]. z<s Z 4sz M S.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
An Evening Call.

An Evening Cal.
II called upon Perkins last evening""
remarked Mr.. Brown.
did you have a pleasant timer" in
quired Mrs. Brown.
Very. Perkins was beating his wife
when went in"
WHAT"
II say Perkins was beating his wife,
but, of course, he stopped when en-
tered
well, should hope sol"
Il begged him to go on, but he said
some other time would do just as
well.''
"You begged him to go on?"
why, yes. I didn't want to spoil
the fun, you know"
"Oh, you brute!"
"Eh?"
"Do you mean to say that you could
have looked calmly on while he beat
his wife?"
Certainly. Why not?"
Il thought you had at least spark
of manhood left. I suppose you will,
be beating me next?"
Eyes, I think I could if you would
play cribbage with me-"
"Play cribbage?"
Eyes; that is what Perkins and his
wife were doing"
"You horrid thing!"
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
I'VE END"

Pretty Harvesting Customs in Devon
shire, England.
Formerly in Devonshire the reapers,
when they had finished, would weave
a ring Of wheat. Holding to this, the
harvesters would form a circle and
shout together, 1--WE een!' Eve end),
after which one bore the ring to the
house and had the privilege of kiss
ing the first maid he met. That curl
Gus practice has passed, and others as
gentle with it. Nevertheless, there is
still the harvest dinner, where the
squire, be he gentleman or noble, sits
down with his "hands" and drinks
from the same ale jug. That custom
shows no sign of decay.-Everybody's
Magazine.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
Doctors as Book BUYERS,

"The largest part of a doctors
equipment is his books,' said A. D.
Patten. ."Physicians usually keep
more closely up with the procession
from the viewpoint of books than law
yers. The doctors have to do it, be-
cause of their reputation among their
associates depends upon the accuracy
and the modern finish of their knowl-
edge.
"a lawyer can more easily dispense
with new law books than doctor with
the late medical books. An up-to-date
doctor has a much more expensive
library, as rule. than a minister, and
it is almost as expensive, judge, as a
lawyers, the difference being that a
lawyers whole equipment is books,
while a doctor must have a laboratory
and a full complement Of instru-
ments. .''-Louisville Courier-JournaL.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
BENEDICT ARNOLD RELIC.
An Anchor Recovered From Quebec
Expedition.

An Anchor Recovered From Quebec
Expedition.
Those of us interested in early
American history, whether absorbed
at school or acquired by maturer read
ing, recall Benedict Arnold, his bril-
liancy and treason, perhaps more WV
idly than almost any prominent figure
of the Revolution.
The students of those times recall
that Washington sent him with LOO
soldiers on the ill-fated expedition to
Quebec in ITS, by the way of the
Kennebec and through the forests of
Maine Two miles below Gardiner, in
Colburn's yard, his command halted
long enough to construct 200 bateaux,
with which he proposed to transport
troops and supplies through the north
ern waters.
A week ago J. Rafter and Abbot
Lord, Gardiner business men that fish
the river for sport, brought up in their
where the batteauX were built, an
anchor, or grapnel, which is undoubt-
edly ger>line Arnold relic. The stock
is some four feet long, and carries five
curved arms welded to it's base. It
was evidently fashioned of wrought
iron over an anvil.
These anchors were thrown out
ahead of the bateaux, by which means
they we're pulled through rapids and
swift water. For 129 years the anchor
remained in the waters Of thee Kenne-
bee, to now come to light, a mute but
eloquent reminder of the man who be-
trayed his ountry.-Lewiston Journal.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
The Limit of SloWness.

John Barber Of the Pittsburg stock
exchange tells of a hustling young so
}icitor for a New York publishing
house. The youth was vainly trying
to sell a set. OF, books to Philadel.
phia bank cashier and at last got sc
excited he accused the cashier OF
being slower than nnolasses in Janu.
ary. q. 80: .~.. -. s.1'.: .:.:'@:.@ =.
c'.You people here can't even eat
snails!" he said. !. ...#a &. .*7ss e = I
4 why not?" asked the cashier. 4 Z =z@ ,#
tt = You " can't catch them" New
York Times -5, 13 @.S=.s, ES.- HI. y + Il z!ss4s
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
ME5;To o ~ DGE SCENERY
.observant Mar Advises Waiting Until
;S. Sg.zaSt After Break asst. .s5 M rs Il

.;S .& After Breakfa last. sl ,3ss 15ss ]
sits curious, you know, 1t really is.
said a returned summer boarder.
what effect a good square meal will
have on the %imagination:s N }ssss,45 {.. 5*,
! eve arrived at the end Of a long
:roailroad journey, on our way tc
where we were to spend the summer.
at s o'clock III the morning. Then we
took a stage and rode miles further
over a hilly road. in the, chilly morn
ing air to one end of lake, where
we took steamboat and rode some
more miles to our final destination, ar.
irving there at a, m.
'Seen under such circumstances.
after being routed out of bed at 4 a:
M, and before breakfast, the scenery
was disappointing. The lake seemed
not much bigger than a good-sized
mill pond, the trees were all stunted
and the mountains were not much
bigger than hills, and we were inclin'
ed to take a gloomy view Of things
and in that frame we remained until
at 1880, the tocsin sounded and we
went in for breakfast. y
THAT was good breakfast, with
everything we'll cooked and admirably
served, and with particularly excel
lent coffee, and we had the appetites
Of hungry mules and fingered long.
when we had again come out the
sun was shining and the lake had been
enlarged by four, acres at least; each
Individual tree of all the innumerable
thousands that everywhere fringed
the lakes shores and rose upward on
its mountainous sides had grown forty
feet, and the mountains themselves
now climbed to the sky.
1T was all noble and restful and
beautiful; and so it remained, grow.
ing on us all the time as long as we
were there.
thereafter l shall never pass judG:
ment on scenery till after breakfast. .
New York Sun.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
. Obstinate Boer Prisoners.

Great Britain's camp in Ceylon for
Boer prisoners of war was broken
up some months ago. Five men out
of the 5000 originally interned in the
island refused to take the oath or
declaration of allegiance and at the
same time refused to proceed else
where than to South Africa They
were released in the island, but in
formed that the government was at
any time ready to provide them with
q passage to any place except South
Africa or to South Africa if they
would declare allegiance. Two of the
five subsequently complied with the
condition and were repatriated. One
of the last three has died on the
island.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

Why tie Hump Is There.
Can you tell me" said the seeker
AFTER knowh hdge to the Snowman,
what the Hump ON that camel's back
is for?"
whats ft for?"
Yes: oj what value is it,"
well. S lots of value. The cam
el would be no good without it,
why aot?"
Why not? Yer don't suppose peo-
pie nd pay sixpence to see camel
without a hump, do yer?"
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
Quicker WAY.

who owns these acres?" asked the
stranger, as they stopped to look at a
low. marshy tract of land by the road.
side.
ITS in dispute" said the real estate
agent. Il believe there's a suit of
some kind on hand now to quiet the
title"
III they want to do that queried
the other. why don't they turn lot
OF boys loose on those trogs?"
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
Don't Need Moss.

Lady-Why don't you go to work?
Don't you know that a rolling stone
gathers no moss? .>
The Tramp-Madam, not to evade
your question at all, but merely to OBJ
tain information, may l ask what par
ticular utility moss is to. a man in my
condition? ~. r r.. :::. = ,Es%I@ II 81
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
What Did She Mean?

Pludder-My wife told me to-day
she wished I took after my brother.
Ncwitt-Oh, yes: your brother be.
came rich. That's what she meant,
eh?
Plodder-Well, she's got me guess.
Nclphia Press.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

ney Pills for an attack Of kidney trou-
BILE that was mostly backache. and
they fixed me up fine. There is no
mistake about that, and II. l should
ever be troubled again, would get
them first thing, as know what they
are" -. e.. 80 -''.~. =. 4
For sale by all dealers. Rrice so
cents. Foster -Milburn Co.. Buffalo.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
\7,Help..|

Foreign gueoi-The young girls of
this country are charming; but why
have the married women such drag
ged-Out look? +
Host-Well; you see, some OF them
are worked to death because they have
no servants, and the rest of them are
worried to death because they have. .
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
SoreIy. PerpIexed. I
'"What beautiful. luncheon" said

"What beautiful. luncheon" said
the guest i ~>..- - 4
eyes," answered Mr.. Cumrox, moth:
er and the girls say it's all right. But
you aren't enjoying it, =. y
mo; I'm little embarrassed. I've
been standing over here trying to
make out which are the edibles and
which are. the decorations. Chicago
journal. ssS. .5s axis ts J. sz ,5s..s=.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
A Time Limit.

I'm afraid you smoke too much for
your own good" said the physician
'Well,' admitted the patient, II do
smoke almost continuously from
morning till night"
why do you do that?' asked the
NJ. d
because it's the only time l have
to sleep at night
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
Uninterestinq People.

They live in quiet sort Of a way
In a quiet sort of street.;
They don't meet a great many people,
nor
Impress the people they meet.
The newspapers never mention their
names,
They never go in for anything much,
And their intimate friends are few.
He never has had favorite club.
Though, somebody said he might,
For a flat little nose on the window pane
Awaits him every night;
AID eight little fingers and two little
Undo all all the work Of the e9mb' o =,
In his Guietest sort Of a home.
She doesn't belong to a woman's club.
She hasn't a single fad. -,
She plays with the "kids" and works all
And most of the time she sings
He isn't like most other husbands at all,
She isn't like>most other wives;
And they never attempt to make
In the course of their quiet lives;
But onGs 23t;t;s il in a while they dress the
And go to spend the day
In nice quiet country spot,
In nice little quiet way.
Maurice Brown Kirby in Golfers S
Weekly.
Not His Line of Business.
COL Bob Townsend, one of Dis.
trict Attorney Jerome's assistants
who is soon to blossom forth as the
author of book on his experiences
in the criminal courts, added new
one to his fund of stories in trying a
burglar case last week. A Hebrew
tailor of the east side had testified
that the young defendant on trial had
awakened him at night by picking the
lock on his door ,and afterward break.
ing the chain which was fastened on
the inside. On cross-examination the
defendants lawyer asked the witness:
"How did the defendant manage to
break the chain which was fastened
on the inside of your door,"
ASK him. was the quick response.
That's his business. I'm tailor.
He's a t'ief."-New York Times.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
Many Chi!;iren Arc Sickiy,

Many chikdren Are sickiy. -
Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children,
used by Mother Gray, nurse in Children's
Home, New York, cure Summer Complaint,
Feverishness, Headache, Stomach Troubles,
Teething Disorders and Destroy Worms. At
all Druggists, Csc. Sample mailed FREE.
Address Allen S. Olmsted. lie Roy. N. Y.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

= "a -. "a 50 RI LatL= u Z ~.
which have cured
thousands. s q
Capt. s. q. Hun
ter. l /: Of 9, Engine No..
!: ,:1:44:"PE'i1tt+:s';b:''u,rg.Pa.. u .: ! ;,
Fire ire: Department. !.
=, and ! ID residing at
27l29 Wylie Ave.,
says 2 4. Ri. 1, Y. J.
3, 1T was three
years ago that I
used Doan's Kid.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
Just a Mere Incident.

Manager-Well. I've engaged all the
specialties for our new musical com.
cdy, the scenery is done and the music
is about finished.
Author-All right. III drop you a
postal with the libretto on it to-mor.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

II Went Home to Die from Gravel Trouble.
Doctors failed DR.. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy
cured me-" Mrs. G. W. Brown, Petersburg. N. 7.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
Modern Recess.

"Have you practiced on the piano?'
''Yes, mother"
And read Prof SimsOn's lecture on
Greek art?'
Yes, mother
And studied your calculus?"
Yes, MOTHER
Then you may go out and play for
ten minutes. life.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

woman without one are always sorry
for each other.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
c uRE 81 o u 4 1 ipflENS.
lgf4ftL1l

When d the Back ches and Bladder
Troubles SGT III, Get. 5at the cause.8 IN
Don make the mistake of believing
;backache and bladd Ter Ills to be local
ailments. Get ct the cause and cure
the kidneys. y Sc Doan's Kidney Pills.
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

If man has a worthless dog and
frivolous wife he can at least poison
the dog
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
GAMBLE ON RULERS LIVES.
English People Make Practice Of This
Form of Insurance.

English People Make Practice Of This
Form Of Insurance.
"Policies, I'll wager are already
being taken out in London on the life
of little Alexis, the new heir to the
Russian throne" said an insurance
agent. 'The English gamble horribly
in life insurance. and Alexis must ap.
peal to them as wonderful risk.
They will pay high for him, though.
The insurance rates on all royal
lives are tribute to the power OF
the nihilists and anarchists. for they
are so huge as to be almost prohibi,
tive. The rate on the King of Eng
land is enormous, and among mon.
archs his is the lowest rate of any
That on the Russian cZar is the high.
est. The czar is bad risk. Many
companies would not insure him on
any consideration.
But Lloyds, the great London con.
Germ, would insure anything or any.
body-Prof. Langley going up in one
of his flying machines, a Japanese spy
about to enter Port Arthur, Russian
battleship going into battle. And hence
Lloyds is willing to insure the poor
little Russian heir, and certain class
of men, taking advantage of this fact
are procuring policies upon the baby's
life.
"Gambling on lives is ghastly
form Of sport, and I believe that it is
practiced nowhere but in England. 1t
ought not to be practiced there The
law ought to prohibit it. At Lloyds
however, it is always going on Poll
cies at Lloyds are continually being
taken out on persons Of eminence al
over the world"
How Nature Works.
A lonely rock uprose above the sea, :.
The coral insects fretting at it's base;
The very storm birds Stunned it's evil
case.
Only the ocean beat upon its breast.
Only the ocean gave 1t close embrace.
An island was upheaved toward the skies,
A central fire within it's heart had
The rock became mountain, stern and
strong,
Only the desolation showed at first:
fled,
No longer reigned the barrenness ac-
cursed.
A little world stood out among the seas
With singing brooks and many a fra
grant wood.
Where lovers heard again their story
sweet,
And truth grew fair, more fully under
stood.
The tender flowers o'crgrew the chasms
deep.
And God looked down, and saw that it
was good.
Sarah Williams
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

I'm satisfied that you never intend
well. if you're satisfied, am"
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31
More Haste.

Briggs-I see that while young Fid-
dleback was eloping; with Miss Red
bud her father overlook them.
Griggs-Didnt he use the automo-
bile?
Briggs-Oh; yes; but the old man
could walk faster.-COllier's
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

lmportant to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle Of CASToR1A,
a safe and sure remedy for infants and children,
and see that it
The Cook County herald., 1904-12-31

Little FlOssie-Oh, mamma! here's
your chance to get me little brother
real cheap. It doesn't matter if he is
isoiled. / can wash him.
Sistersville daily oil review. [volume] (Sistersville, W. Va.) 1902-1905, 1904-11-17
How's This?

We offer one hundred dollars
reward for any case of Catarrh
that cannot be cured by Hall s
Catarrh Cure.
FL. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.,
We, the undersigned, have
known F. J. Cheney for the last
Is years, and believe him per,
fectly honorable in all business
transactions and financially able
to carry out any obligations made
by their firm.
WEST & TRUAX, Wholesale
Druggists, Toledo, o.
WALDING, KINNAN & MAR
VIM, Wholesale Druggists,
Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken in
ternally, acting directly upon the
blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. Testimonials sent free /;
price 75c per bottle. Sold by all
druggists.
Halls Family Pills are the best.