The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-09-08

going TO do the driving. He couldn't
see it. but before he found it necessary
to argue the point with me l fell off
the seat on to the bowlder-strewn road.
The procession came to halt, and
) was dumped back into my place in
the leading coach, where 1 promptly
nailed quart No. 2 of the japanese in
FAINT food and got outside of it. Then
1 made my seven shipmates a melan-
choly speech, in the progress of which
, L informed them that two minutes pre-
viously I had received a able dispa tch
stating that three aunts of mine that
| I'd never had in San Francisco had
/ been burned to death in a gasoline ex-
! plosion. and that they'd bequeathed
| and devised unto me. their favorite
nephew, their entire joint estate.
mere bag o. shells, consisting of some
! three billions of yen
Il wound this speech up rather sud-
denly by climbing out through a VIM
dow to the roof of the stage and es-
, saying to walk on my hands over the
stage roof, while the coach was moving
along at full career on an incline of 45
degrees. I didn't get by with this
acrobatic feat, it seems, and only es-
capped violent death by being yanked
back into the coach in the nick of
time an instant before the stage turn
ed sharp curve.
THE rest of the ride up doesn't mat
ter. 1 insisted on riding on the back
of the rear off horse, it seems, foE a
great part of the distance, and they
told me that 1 only fell off and got run
over once in a while. 1 don't know
THE stages reached the Volcano
the Burning Lake of Kilauea, along
toward 3 o'clock in the afternoon, but I
never saw it. and I've yet to see it.
BY that time had finished all of the
baby food, and when the stage that
was carrying me pulled up in front of
Peter Lees hosiery L was solemnly
inviting any man on the coach to
match dollars with me for the possess
sion of the entire Hawaiian group, or,
if they didn't care for that method of
determining the ownership of the is
lands, to engage in teeth encounters
with me for the same all parties to
the contest to hold their arms rigidIy
at their sides and just bite.
When. on dismounting from the
stage. first clapped one eye on Peter
Lee, I hailed him, with checking sobs,
as a sister of mine that I hadn't seen
in eighty-four years-and then it was
me for little white bed, while the
rest of the bunch, none of them worsef
off than a little bit chesty and biddy
from their swipes, separated into
punches and took in the Burning Lake
of Ki1auea from every point of view.
SLEPT BY THE SULPHUR PIT.
81 don't know how I ever got out of
that room but the next morning they
found me lying at the mouth of a sui
phur pit that was working. I had all
Of my clothes on. and 1 was sound a
sleep.
They hurled spring water all over
me. and for about one-eighteenth of a
second 1 came to. Then, unfortunate
ly I just joggled my head from side
to side, and there I was, sakied all
over again. Saki's a cheap bun. by
the way-an you've got to do when
you wake UP after a souse of 1t is to
wink, and there you are, jagged all
over again.
That's how didn't see the Burning
Lake of Kilauea or any part of it. On ,
the down trip that afternoon it was
mine for nice little pallet on the deck
of the stage, although 1 don't remem-
Der even that end of it. I came to in :
a room of a Hilo hotel, with four of
my shipmates prodding me.
II felt as if I'd been through a cop |
per mine cave-in-ny mouth felt par !
ticularly coppery-and my hair was
dyed cute apple green from my slum- i
Der alongside the sulphur pit
when I was able to get into my |
clothes I got two gnarled clubs and /
went after that barkeep of Lycurgus' /
who had told me about what a nice |
article saki was for thirst-quenching
purposes. but somebody tipped him off /
that [ was on his trail, and he took |
to the foothills and STAYED there nm