The semi-weekly messenger., 1904-08-19
By T. p. Dunno.


Il see," said Mr.. Hennessy, that the
dimmycrats have gr-reat confidence
'sThey have" said Mr.. Dooiey. ''Th'
dimmycrats have gr-reat confidence.
tn republicans ar-re sure, tn popy-
lists are hopeful. tn prohybitionists
look f'r landslide or a flood or what
iver you may call a PROHIBITION yicthry.
an tn socylists think this may be their
year. That's what makes pollytics tn
gr-reat game an, tn on'y wan to dhrive
dull care away. It's a game iv hope,
siv jolIy-ye' 'er-neig ghbor, a confidence
game. If ye get bad hand at poker,
ye lay it down. But if We get bad
hand at pOllytics, ye bet ye'er pair iv
.deuces as blithe as an Englishman who
ha jas Iarned the game out iy tn
spcrtin' columns iV tn London Times.
If ye don't win fair, ye may WIN foul.
If ye don't win, ye may tie an get tn
money in tn confusion. IL il wasn't
such a game, Wud there be dimmycrats
in Vermont, republicans in Texas, an
prohybitiOnists in tn stock yards ward: ::
Ivrv year men crawl out iv tn 10 -
Ditals where they've been since last
1IlcIlOn Day 10 Nolc III ray
ticket in Mississippi. There's no record
fv it but it's a fact. Today tn dimmy-
Gratis will ony concede Vermont, Maine
an Pennsylvania to tn Republicans,
an tn Republicans concede Texas,
Allybammy an Mississippi to tn dim>
mycrats. But it's arly yet. Wait
awhile. Tn wurruk iv tn campaign,
has not begun. Both sides is inclined
to be pessimistic. TIL conservative
ba MI 8
money cud be placed in YaZoo City,
tn prejudice again Rosenfelt, which is
on'y skin deep anyhow, cud be remov.
ed, hasn't turned up at headquarters.
About tn middle iv October, the ray
publican who comedies Texas to tn
dimmycrats will be dhrummed out iv
tn party as a thraitor an yen hear
that tn dimmycratic party in Maine
is so cheered be tn prospects that his
frinds- can't keep him sober.
TIL life iv a candydate is tn hap
piest there is. If 1 want anything
pleasant said about me, 1 have TO say
1t mesilf. There's a hundherd thusan'
freemen ready to say it to a candy
date an say it strong. They ask naw>
thin in rayturn that will require a civil
service examination. He starts in with
a pretty good OpinyOn iv himself based
on what his mother said iv him as
baby, but be tn time he's heerd tn
first speech iv cOngratulation, he begins
TO think he had a cold an Indifferent
parent. Ninety per cint iv tn people
who come to see him tell him he's tn
mos poplar thing iver was an viii
carry tn country like a tidal wave.
He don't let tn others in If anybody
says anything about him less frindly
thin Jacob Riis, he knows he's either
a sore-head or is in tn pay iv tn other
campaign comfy. Childher an dogs
ar-re named afther him, pretty women
an some iv the other kind thry to kiss
him an tn newspapers publish pitchers
" him as he sets in his libry with his
brows wrinkled in thought iv how fine
q man he is. TIL opposition pa-apers
don't get Up to tn house an he niVer
sees himsilf with a face like Sharhy
or reads that tn reason he takes a bath
IN tn Hudson is because he is too
tingy to buy d bath-tub f'r sth' house
an prefers to sponge on the gr-reat
highway belongin' to tn people.
IF he hasn't done much to speak iv,
his frinds rapport his small but hand-
some varchues. He niver punched his
wife, he sinds his boys to school, he
loves his country. he shaves with
safety razor. a man expicts to be illicit
ed prisidint iv tn United States, Hin
Missy, f'r tn fine qualities that tn
r-rest iv us use ony to keep out iv tn
pinitinchry. All tn time tn rayports
from tn country become more an
more gIOwin'. The tidal wave is risin'
an soon will amount 90 a landslide.
Victhry is perched upon our banners
an has sint f'r tn family. F'r tn dimmy
cratic candydate tn mos glowin ray
ports iv gains come firm New England.
where there is always most room f'r
dimmycratic gains. FIR tn raypublt-
can. tn news firm tn Southwest is SO
cheerin' as to be almost incredible or
quite so. But iliction day comes at
last. TIL people iv this gr-reat coun-
thry gather in tn varyous temples iv
liberty in barber shops an livery sta
bIes an indicate their choice iv evils. \
gr-reat hush falls on tn land as tn
public pours out iv tn side dures iv tn
saloons an reverently gathers at III
newspaper offices to wait with bafted
breath tn thrillin' news fr m tn first
precint iv tn foorth ward iv Sheboy-
gan, Wis. An thin again we hear tn
old but niver tiresome story: Texas
gives Il dimmycrat ma jority iv five hun
dhred thousan', but will reopen tn
polls if more is neceSs ry; tn dlmmy-
Gratis hope iv tn prisint ratio is main
Lained tn republican victhry in Pinn>
syIvania will not be unanimous. An
wan candydate rayceives six mlllyon
votes an is overwhelmingly defeated
an tn other racelyeS nVe Hlliyon,
nine hundherd thusan' an Is triurn>
phantly ilicted. An there We ar-re.
Why, Hinnissy, wans't whin 1 was
in pollytics, me an Willum O'Brien
put up a German be tn name iv
Smeerkase or some such name f'r al
dherman f'r tn fun iv tn thing. 1t
was a gr-reat joke an aven tn Dutch
man knew it. But befure he'd been
nommynated two weeks, he begun to
take it seeryouS. 'They'se a good dale
iY dissatisfaction in tn ward with tn
prisint alderman, says ne, an ye
know I've lived here a long time an
I'm popular with tn boys. Stranger
things have happened thin iv this joke
was to turn out thrue. Well says I,
IF ye're ilicted 1 want ye to make me
Uncle Mike Chief iv Polls. He's licked
thin all an he raaly holds tn job ex-
propria vigore, as tn Supreme Coort