The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1904-02-21
SUNDAY, FEB. Fl, 1904.
THE BILL THAT WILL.

1t has been demonstrated again and
again that legislation will not cure all
the evils that flesh is heir to, and yet
there is one man in congress who
become so famous that it is necessary
for us to mention it here, but that he
is bound to make it a notable one is
evident by his efforts to do the greatest
good to the greatest number. The man
in question represents Brooklyn in
congress, and while the remarkable bill
which he has recently introduced in
the house is not his by right Of crea-
ton, he has presented It by request
and stands father to it. This bill has
attached to it eight "whereases" which
cover everything in the way Of human
effort, and which, should 1t become a
law, would insure industrial freedom
for the working world" Among it's
provisions are the following: The Gre
alton of forty-fiye executive depart
ments, each managed by a secretary
who is to receive the same salary as
the present cabinet officers, and each
one of these Is to resign instantly If
any considerable number of the patrons
Or employees of their respective depart
ments shall demand it. Then the bill
goes on to specify what each OF the
forty-five officers is to do: the Secre-
tary of Public Communication is to con-
meet every voting precinct, public park
and public building within the limits of
this republic by wire, Immediately, so
that they shall form one gigantic
whispering gallery"
The Secretary of Public Fluids, the
bill provides, shall supply the people
with gas and filtered water of the
greatest excellence at the smallest
cost; to freeze pure water and place It
where the people can get at 1t.
The bill provides for the Secretary of
Public Surveying nice little job; he is
to survey the lands of this republic, be-
ginning with the point known as the
intersection Of the nineteenth degree of
longitude, west of Greenwich, England.
and the forty fifth degree of north lat
itude, and run all lines to the northeast
and southwest, or to the northwest and
southeast, to the end that all blocks of
land will have local highways laid out
In all unsettled places upon the lines
indicated in this act, it being the in
tention of the people to lay out the
land in such way that when houses
are built upon said land the sunshine
will enter every window in the outside
of such houses and thus do away with
the green moss on the north side Of tho
new houses in the new civilization"
That is all the public surveyor win
have to dol
Then the gentleman from RrootIvp
has provided a secretary each for the
following: Public comfort. public
health, public fairs doubtless circuses
- 49, S~A OANSAJ - uOL0lS, DuDl1c
baths, public relations, public navy.
public army, public penitentiaries. pub-
lie treasury, and public everything else
under the sun. Thus 1t viii be seen
that when well known men Of the dav
are giving their attention to pettv no
htical parties, candidates for presidents
and other affairs of minor Importance
we have-but not in our midst man
with a mind so vast that he thinks IN
republics rather than In states. This
great plan Of a great mind wo,,Ia
do away with presidents and noIit,co1
parties entirely. recognizing the conn
try In such way that we would he
governed by forty five secretaries
subject to instant dismissal-instead Of
by one strenuous man who runs things
70 suit himself. Realizing that the bill,