The Brunswick daily news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1903-1906, 1904-02-14
ODE Economical Pirate.

By CHARLES dLEId.


mans" he said, and my instructions
was to attack nothin' but British ships.
If knew the names of the sharehold-
ers I'd give 'em to you, but they al
ways paid my salary through an
agent"
what did you earn, Uncle?" I
asked.
Two hundred quld monLn and 5
percent commission, he replied. Tho
first mate was to get hundred" he
added, and the seamen and stokers
six guild a week.
Then the wages bill must have been
very heavy" / suggested.
That's where you're wrong, James,
said my uncle. I'm the old fashioned
way of business the Falcon would have
wanted crew of about so hands, and
the company wouldn't have paid 10
percent unless we'd captured mail
steamer or two every month. AS
said just now, modern pirates got
to be run on economical lines, SO the
stingy directors only allowed me doz-
en- hands, including the cook, who was
under contract to fight as well as
stew"
"A dozen hands!" echoed, incredu-
lousy.
"The rest was dummies" growled
Uncle Jonah, mechanical dummies,
my boy, made In Germany" he added,
cynically. "like the war Office field
guns"
Il can't see how you can construct
a fighting dummy" | objected, "else
c.:::::. war e:asa!ee %e:i!a have adopted the
patent"
'These didn't fight" said Uncle Jo-
nah. They was only meant to frigh-
ten the passengers Of the mails we
stopped. Ever seen the innards Of q
Waterbury watch?"
| nodded.
well, these dummies were worked
on much the same lines Their in
nards was chock-a-block with long
steel springs, James, and the wigs
and boards made em look as fierce as
IL they was fed on raw beef Some Of
EN- could DO the cutlass exercise, 9TH
ers used to walk up and down the deck
on rails, and one used to lean over the
fo'c'sle rail and spit, as natural as life
The works was fitted to 80 for two
hours; after that you had to wind EN-
up afresh.
1--WE had 80 of them German dunn
mics. continued Uncle Jonah, and If
you'd seen EN- half cable away you'd
have taken your davy they was as
'uman as any other pirates. believed
In the beggars myself, James; that's
where made my bloomin' error"
wrung his hand in silent sympathy
and resumed my notes.
"In bad weather." continued Uncle
Jonah, we had to keep tarpaulin COW
ers over EN-, unless we sighted a
prize: and when we got into the trop-
les some of the faces, which was made
OF compo., began to melt"
"That was awkward, l continued.
mo. we carried a few spare faces
and shifted the old uns. There's many
human man'd be glad to ave his
face shifted the same, and wimmin,
too, for the matter Of that | knew a
gal once in Liverpool, whose face
Well, never mind about that, he broke
off; ''wimmin amt likely to trouble
about me any more In this world. Take
my advice, James, and steer clear of
females. They cost man a lot more
than they're worth, and If one could
only make female dummy to cook
and sew on buttons
But my uncle's view on women were
not original
Gently. but firmly | resisted his di-
gression for our time was short and
facts meant money.
'"The burst-up came about in this
way" Uncle Jonah resumed. WED
taken one good prize in the Atlantic,
and sent all hands comfortably to the
bottom, whom the agent sent code
message saying as how the Cape mail,
with tli'monds and gold aboard, would
be OFF Madeira on a certain date he
mentioned. | managed to fill up with
coal from an old bark. which gave us
the DEVILS own trouble to sink after
we'd done with her, and then steamed
south In good time to look after the
Rhodes Castle she was timed to
leave Madeira in the forenoon. and /
wanted to overhaul her in daylight. so
as to let the crew and passengers take
stock of our dummies. These mails
carry lot of people, you know, and
one had to put EN- in a blue funk.
else they'd have shown fight.
she was we'll up to time, and we
sighted her about six bells e D. MI
in the afternoon watch. coming along
at l6 knots through sea as smooth
as duck pond As luck would have
1t, there wasn't so much as a sailing
ship within 20 miles, and made sure
OF them almonds and the gold.
Between you and me. James. /
meant to retire from business IL we
pulled ii of, and shouldn't have been
over particular about settling up with
the syndicate"
This confession of dishonesty panied
me. but let It pass. To reproye a
pirate for swindling his employers
seemed, on the whole, inconsistent.
I'VE slowed down" continued Uncle
Jonah. impressively, wound up all the
dummies. and stood by to give her a
couple Of rounds from our AZ gun. The
chap who hossed that gun had been a
navy man. and he could hit funnel at
1000 yards four times out OF six. He
got 10 quid week from the syndicate
and he said It was nice little add.
q