The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-04-16

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"Maud's latest photograph Is lust
lovely" SIS itT' "Yes; / had to ask
who it was."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Julia-Is Clementine really 50 intel
iectual? Aurelia-oh, yes; she never
can tell you thing any other woman
has on.
Il see the Sold tag on Dauber's pic
ture." Eyes, De Smith bought it."
why don't they hang the tag on De
Smith,"
Has Mrs. Dash decided not to con-
tlnue her suit for divorceT" Eyes. Her
engagement to Percy Specie is Off,
Brooklyn Life.
Father-Don't ask so many ques-
lions, Tommy? You are not supposed
to know everything that goes on
around here. Tommy-No, but / do,
though.
Doctor Jinks-I suppose you must
nave lost some Of your patients by be-
Ing away for SO long a time? Doctor
kent-Yes, confound it.! Ten or a doz-
en- Of them got well.
Dusty Dennis-say, pard, what does
the paper mean by "unspeakable
Turk" Gritty George-Why, dat's de
guy dat invented de Turkish BATH
Chicago Daily News.
zone O. de sad things bout dis nfe,"
said Uncle Eben, lis dat it's so much
easier to depend on de enmity Of yoh
enemies dan ON de friendship of yoh
friends. "-Washington Star.
A fearful Occasion: 81 wonder If
there's been a funeral in that house %
"Why" 1.-TWO women just came out
crying" ooh, it must be wedding"
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
"You know, Jessie, the good book
says Love your neighbour" spoke the
mother to her little girl. Eyes, NAM
ma: but that was written before the
days Of flats.'-Yonkers Statesman.
"You say that you have your own
way about the houseT' Invariably"
answered Mr.. Meekton. "How do you
manage itT" "By always agreeing
with Henrietta. "-Washington Star.
What am ever going to do with
such bad, bad boyT sighed the fond
mother. 20, you leave me alone" re
piled the young hopeful. "I'm not hall
as bad as can be."-Brooklyn Life
Mother-Why, children, what's al
this noise about? Little Freddy-We've
had grandpa and Uncle Henry locked
in the cupboard for an hour, an wher
they get little angrier I'm going tt
play going into the lions cage!
Mother-My boy! What became Of
that last piece Of pie l left in the cup
board and told you not to disturb? Os
carl Gated it. Mother-And wha
would you call an act like that? Oscar
-Disturbin' tn piece, l S'pose."
Briggs-Do you have the courage Il
take a cold bath on these winter morn
ings2 Griggs-Indeed, l do. But
, missed it this morning Briggs
} What was the trouble? Griggs-Ther'
! was no not water.-Towu Topics.
wouldn't you enjoy your Dime
more If you had earned til" mo" an
swered Meandering Mike, II wouldn'
t'ink of intrudIn' any mercenary con
siderations into dis season Of hospital
ity an good cheer" -Washington Star
The new sentry, native Of the EN-
. erald Isle, was on post duty for tn
first time at night, when the officer o
the day approached. "Who come
thereT he called. "Oft1cer Of the day,
: was the reply. "Then what are ye
dom out at night?" asked the sentry.
Literary Reputation: "Lizette," sal
Mrs. Goodrich to her maid, Il wish yo1
would run up to my room, get the move
on my writing desk, cut the pages, TAX
it back to Miss Bookhides, present m
compliments and thanks, and tell he
the story aroused my most profoun
interest. "-Tit-Bits
The Secret of Failure: Lawyer
What was the thing that led to you
financial downfall? You seemed to b
doing q good business. Bankrupt
was; but one day l started out to Sc
If could borrow some money. foun
it so easy that kept on borrowing
{ Somerville Journal.
| Grimes Ito Spencer, who has told on
? Of his best stories)-Ha, ha! Do 20
= know, Spencer, always did like tina
I story. spencer-I thought you mus
have heard it several times. 70
wouldn't be likely to tumble to tn
Joke the nrst time you heard 1t, 20
know.-Boston Transcript.
Like father: Rangle-What wer
you Furnishing your boy for this morI
> ing? Angle-For lying. He said b
;, saw q fish in the millpond as big 8
? the one I've been telling about tbs
1 got away from me there last weel
). Rangle-But maybe he did see it. Al
: gle-Nonsense! There isn't fish tbs
. big in the pond.-Philadelphia Press.
The Horrible Example: "How is
q business has so much improved In th
side shown asked the man from tt
main tent. 4 started the living skel
tom to smoking cigarettes" replied tt