Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-10-27
So 49,: $500


should" said man at the back Of the
audience promptly.
He-It is a pleasure to meet a wom-
an who has IA sense of humOr. She
But. really, one doesn't need sense Of
humor to laugh at the things you say.
Life.
Uncle-Yes, Charles; laid the foun-
dation of my fortune by saving cab
fares. Spendthrlft Nephew-I didn't
know you ever drove one, uncle!-
Punch.
Old Aunt (despondently)-Well.
shall not be nuisance to you much
longer. Nephew Veassuringly)-Don'
talk like that, aunt. You know you
will.-Punch.
Marriage Not Failure: Old Friend
Was your daughters marriage sue.
cess? Hostess-Oh, Il great success.
She's travelling in Europe on the ali
mony.-New York Weekly.
A Practical View: Struggling Pas
tor-The collections have fallen of ter
ribly. Practical Nife-It's that new
vestryman who passes the plate; he
never watches What people put in
New York Weekly.
Sensational: Lena-What did that
Russian nobleman write in your auto
graph album? MaDel-Oh. something
unspcakable. Lena - Goodness gra-
cious What was it? Mabel-His
name.-Town Topics
To Be Considered: do you expect to
have an ovation when you get up to see
your constituents again?" Il don't
KNOW" rejoined Senator Sorghum, alb
sent mindedly; "how much do ovations
cost! -Washington Star.
He Got in the Way: .Jimson-You say
your wife threw the poker at a stray
dog and hit you instead? Jester-Yes
but it was my fault; had no business
standing behind her when she threw
Columbus State Journal.
A Humane Woman: The Cabman--
Gimme your bag. lady. and I'll put it
ON top of the cab. Mrs. Oatcake (as
she gets in)-No; that poor horse of
yours has got enough to pull. I'll
carry it on my lap.-Leslie's Weekly.
How He Squared Himself: He Uust
MISUNDERSTANDING a very hOmely per-
son that gentleman near the piano is
Mrs. Black! She--Isn't he? That Is
Mr. Black. He-HOw true it is, Mrs.
Black. that the homely men always get
!
Messenger Boy-rIs this Mr.. Ernest
Seton ThompsOn's, or Mr.. Ernest
Thompson-Seton's or Mr.. SOmpson-
Teton's, or Mr.. Ernest Theton- Shomp-
He didn't say what it would be to-day.
III go and ask him.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
| An exchange laments that Niagara,
one of natures great spectacles. a Won
der of the ages, has become the propel-
Ter of base machinery and the exploit
er of sensation seekers. 1t has been
noticed for some time that Niagara
was going down hll.-Kansas City
Journal
Mrs. Hauskeep-I don't know much
about the new girl, but she's gOod-na-
tured and harmless at any rate. Mr..
transcription did you find that out
Mrs. Hauskeep--I notice that she sings
at her work. Mr. Hauskeep-Huh
That's no sign; a mosquito does that
Philadelphia Press.
His Taste Uncertain: Pooh" said
Daisy, scornfully. 1.-THE idea of your be-
ing afraid of poor old hOuse-dog!
Why, he eats out of my hand" Il
don't doubt it," replied Burroughs, du-
bously, but what | ain afraid OF is
that he may take a notion to eat out
Of my Smart Set.
A Few Years Hence: Anything go.
ing on this EVENING" Yes; there's to
be a performance at the Athletic Gar.
dens. A fellow will undertake to sub
due an automobile that has IA record
Of having killed six men. He's to dc
1t in one hour or forfeit a thousand dol
lars. Chicago Tribune.
Straight Tip: Il hear your engage
mcnt with young GotrOx has beer
broken Off" said the first fair daughter
Of Eve well, you are entitled to an
other hearing" rejoined fair daughter
No. =, as she held up graceful hant
OIL which solitaire sparkled; you car
see for yourself that am still in thu
ring.'-Chicago News.
Proof: The Maid with the paper)-
Here's piece says that the police o.
New York are getting more insolen
every day. The Cook-Bedad! OF be
lave thot's roight. Phwy. lasht noight
phwin Pathrolman Danny Foley drop
ped in, he wanted to'knOw phwy o
didn't save him the breast of the turke.
instid av the leg.-Puck.
A Temperance Lesson: a. said thu
temperance man. strongly object Il
the custom of christening ships will
champagne" IL don't" replied tn
other man; Il think there's a temper
ance lesson in it." How can that be :?
well. Immediately after the first bot
tie of wine the ship takes to water, ant
sticks to it ever after. Town Topics
AS Brown took the vacant chair tn,
barber treated the company to an clio
Quent wink and a now gents get-ready