The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-10-23
INTRODUCING AUNT MARY.

ened with expulsion from college his
Aunt Mary was much surprised and
decidedly vexed-mainly at the college.
His family We're less surprised, view
ing the young man through a clearer
atmosphere than his Aunt Mary ever
had, and knowing that he had barely
escaped similar experiences earlier in
his career by invariably leaving school
the day before the board of inquiry con-
vened.
Jacks preparatory days having been
more or less tempestuous his family
(Aunt Mary excepted) had expected
some sort of afterclap when he en-
tered college. Nevertheless, they had
fervently hoped that it would not be
quite as bad as this.
Bad as it was. the authorities saw
fit to be uncommonly discreet as to the
cause of his withdrawal, and owing
to their reticence, the young man had
no difficulty in entering upon another
campus. Arethusa was visiting her
aunt when the news came-not because
she wanted to, for the old lady was
Il dreadfully deaf and fearfully arbitrary,
but because Lucinda had said that she
must go to her cousins wedding, and
the family always had to bow to Luz
cinda's mandates. Lucinda was Aunt
Indispensable as a sitter at the offend
of the Iatter's ear trumpet that none
of the grand-nephews or grand-nieces
ever thought for an instant of crossing
one of her wishes. So it was to Arethu-
ga that the explanations due Aunt
Mary's interest in her scapegrace fell.
and she bowed her back to the burden
with the resignation which the circun-
stances demanded.
Whatever is the difference between
bein' expelled and bein' suspended?"
Aunt Mary demanded. in her tone Of
imperious impatience. "WeT, why
don't you answer? I was brought up
to speak when you're spoken to. an
I'm a great believer in livin' up to your
brfngin up--if you had good one.
What's the difference, an which costs
most2 That's what I want to know.
do wish you'd answer me. Arethusa;
there's two things I've asked you now,
an you suckin' your finger an pattin
on your thinlbie as If you was sittin'
alone in China
IT don't know which costs most, !"
Arethusa shrieked.
ssYou needn't scream So" said Aunt
Mary 81 amt so hard to hear as you
think. I amt but seventy, and I'll beg
you to remember that, Arethusa- Be
sides, don't want to hear you talk.
Just want to hear about Jack Pm
aslxin' about his bein expelled and sus-
pended, an what's the difference. an
in particular If there's anything to pay
for broken glass. It's always broken
glassi That boys bills for broken glass
have been sonethin' just awful these
last two years. Well. why don't you
answer?''
st don't know what 10 answer" Are
f1lusa screamed.
what do you suppose he's done, any
how?'
Something bad"
Aunt Mary frowned.
81 amt mad, she said, sharply.
what made you think was mad?
amt mad at all, I'm just askin' what's
the difference between bein' expelled
an bein' suspended, an seems to me
this is the third time I've asked 1t
Seems to me it is.
Arethusa laid down her work, drew a
mighty breath. very nearly got into the
ear trumpet, and explained that being
suspended was infinitely less heinous
than being expelled, and decidedly less
final.
Aunt Mary looked relieved.
..oh, then he's gettin' better, is hep
she said well, I'm sure that's some
comfort
And then there was long pause. dur
ing which she appeared to be engaged
in deep reflection, and her niece con
tinued her embroidery in peace. Tn
pause endured until sudden sneez
on the part of the old lady set tn
wheels of conversation turning again.
.sArethusa." she said 81 wish you'
go an get the ink an write to MI
Stebbins. 1 want him to begin to lool
right away. I don't want to waste an
of the boys life an if bein' suspende'
means waitin' while the college take
it's time to consider whether IL want
him back again or not I amt go1n' I
wait I'm a great believer in a colleg
education, an 1 don't know that 1t cut
much figure whether it's the same col
lege right through or not. Anyway, 20
write Mr.. Stebbins-"
Arethusa obeyed. and soon after Lu
cinda's return allowed her to escap
from the thralldom of Aunt Mary
irlrSrious will AID impervious ca
drums. her hopeful young brother be
came candidate for his third QUIT
of new sweaters and hat bands ths
year.
Aunt Mary wrote him letter upo
the occasion of his new start in life, ID
Stebbins delivered him lecture, al
things went smoothly in consequent
for three whole weeks.
At the end of that time some ev
spirit melted him to attempt, one vel
dark night, the shooting of cat
a back fence. He was successful
far as the going off of the gun W.
concerned, but the damage that result
ed, resulted not to the cat, but TO u
arm OF the next-door's cook, VINO WI
peacefully engaged in taking in n
weeks wash on the other side OF u
fence. The cook ceased abruptly
take in the wash, the affair was
once what is technically termed look
into md three DAYS later Jack becan