The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-11-13
TALKS BY DOROTHY DIX
THE STAR BoARDER.

BOAhpEh.
 i, the humble answer that extracts money
 and turns away wrath, but to remark, in- | stead, that if she was a miracle worker,
 and could run a house without money, she wouldn't be working for any man for her board and elothes-she would be sec
 retary of the treasury.
 There are plenty of such homes-and the men in them are not necessarily mean,
 only thoughtless and inconsiderate-where
 every single item of expense is argued
 out at as much length as if it was a gov | ernment appropriation bill, and where a l pair of shoes can't be bought for the l baby, a calico frock for the wife. with out debate that is hot enough to leave a blister. The inevitable result is continual | friction that spells disaster to the family, and the very best thing any woman under such circumstances can do is to take her husband as a boarder, charge him enough to run the house on. and spend the money in peace and as she pleases As long as she makes him comfortable he has no more right to interfere in her manage ment than he would with any other land lady's methods Women confde too much, | anyway. There is no earthly use in tell ing beforehand everything one thinks she is going to do. particularly if it is liable to be objected to- Do 1t first, and discuss
 
 ing Is a wise motto for wives as well as politicians.
 Another advantage that many women would gain if they coufd induce their hus- bands to regard themselves more in the light of a boarder, and less in the light of boss, would be a very superior article of manners to tat to which they are now accustomed. No man could think for minute, that because ha paid his board , 1t would give him a right to sheer at his landlady's opinion, deride her views, and ridicule her sentiments These are privileges wEich matrimony alone be- slows upon man, and many a woman's fondest dream of happiness is to wish her husband was as polite to her as he is to other ladies. He will listen with appar entity absorbed atte..tion while another woman airs her views on the Japanese war; he Is quick enough to respond to another woman's witicism, but let his | wife undertake to expoLnd the political
 situation, or tell story, and he hasn't | the slightest hesitation in shutting her | up by telling her that she doesn't know
 what she is talking about, and that he
 read that joke in punch during the del- | uge.
 | Likewise, as a boarder, he might even be reused to express some gratitude and l appreciation for the tireless devotion to | his interest the unceasing study of his pleasure and comfort, the love that never | fails, that now as a husband, he takes for granted, and doesn't think worth men, tionng. So, too, when he is sick. He feels that he is at perfect liberty to re- ward his wife's sleepless nights, her
 worry and care, with grumbles and growls and i'll temper, but he would never dare | to treat an angelic landlady, who was nursing him, that way. He would feel that he never could repay such self-sac- | rificing goodness, and besides he would l be afraid that if he didn't behave himself she would turn him over to hired nurse, and go off and leave him.
 Nor would all the advantages be on the side of the woman. Many man would have everything to gain in being promoted from the rank of the husband to that of the star boarder. It cannot be denied that | if there are cantankerous husbands-and l am talking now not of the happily mar ried, but of the disgruntled of both sexes,
 to whom matrimony has brought more
 kicks than ha'pence-there are also neg | lectful wives. There are women, good
 women, who throw away their bait as soon as they catch husband, and never
 try to charm him again. There are wives who exist for society; wives who club 1 their husbands to death; wives whose
 philanthropy begins everywhere but at
 home; wives who, after the first baby
 comes are nothing but mothers and who spend their evenings holding a childs hand even at the risk of having some other woman hold their husbands | To such women, and there are plenty ! of them, the husband merely exists as a
 kind of animated cash register. He is of | no consequence in the house. None is so | poor as to do him reverence, and he is | right to strike for the position of star
 boarder-the gentleman who pays the F0nFlf | count, if no other to the best of every
 thing. "Ah, colonel" says the lady in
 one of Du Maurier's cleverest cartoons, | after all, the liver wing Is the choicest | bit of the fowl isn't it?" T don't know,'
 replies the poor colonel "I have never | tasted it. Tn my youth they gave 1t to the old people, and now the children get l 1t all.' Tho liver wing and other per- | quistes, like the best of his wife's so- | ciety her prettiest manners and prettiest {, looks, the colonel might claim as no more | than the star boarder has a right to ex- | pect.
 small matter. but still worth men | tioning in this connection, is the fact | that the landlady doesn't feel free to I lecture the star boarder. That way lies peace. She may perceive his faults, but
 she doesn't consider it her duty to call l his attention to them. She notices his | mistakes, but refrains from saying "I
 told you so." She has heard his old stories time and again, but it Is her busi-
 ness to laugh at them, and she does it. | She defers to his tastes, she studies his | whims, and the star boarder stays on,
 and the establishment prospers The moral of all of which seems to be the rather cynical one, that in order to get along harmoniously and peacefully with ones family. it is only necessary to treat | them with the same courtesy. considera- | tion and deferenea that we show to | strangers.