The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-03-21
THE NoNPAREJL MAN
is It the Apple or the Yobster That Is al
the Basis Of Our Clvilizatlon-Conten
tIon OF the PomoIogy Professor at the
st. Louis Exposition.

The pomology man at the ST. Louis ex-
position has prepared pamphlet which
sets forth the efficacy of apples as cure
for evil habits. A million Copies Of this
work will be distributed free at the
worlds fair on Apple day.
This national authority on apples, Pro-
fessor John 7. Stenson, holds that in order
to work cure by means Of the apple diet
the patient must carry apples around
with him constantly or be so situated
that an orchard or an apple stand or an
apple barrel will be always within his
reach. When he feels desire to drink.
smoke or swear, he must Immediately
take bite of an apple, masticate it thor
oily, and trust the rest to nature.
Professor Stenson points to Senator
Cockren Of Missouri, whose high moral
proverbial, as bright and shining exam
pie Of the correctness of the apple the
ory.
ut is a well known fact" he says, t'that
Senator Cockrell makes his lunch of APP
pies every day to the exclusion of all 9TH
er food, and has kept up this diet for thir-
ty years."
All this to say nothing of the applejack,
cider, apple sauce and apple pie consumed
by the statesman.
On the other hand some Of our great
est statesmen have eschewed apples all
or terrapin. A man who was bound to
make out case might dearly point to
the simple lobster as the basis Of our
civilization, the palladium Of our lib
critics.
The Detroit Free Press says that Judge
Parker stands for a highly respectable
vagueness. That's what we want. Our
gallant young leader has been far too
| definite.
| A Lake Harriet car goes every seven
and a-half minutes now, if you can wait
| that long.
| The free lunch is declared unsanitary.
Those old FOUNDERS who make about three
lunch places each noon always looked
| pretty healthy.
Rev. c. J. K. Jones, a Unitarian minis
| ter of Los Angeles, Cal, has resigned his
pastorate to devote himself to the study
of insect pests. Here is chance that
| the cigarette fiend in the vestibule of the
street car may at last receive some at
| tention.
With the thaw in New York the tail
| of the Judge Parker boom is beginning to
stand straight up. We say 'kah for Par
ker!-or was it Olney we were going to
holler for?
| The Northern Securities decision was a
good one as far as it went but we still
4 regret the prices of beef and coal.
A good many jokes are passed on
father but it takes the Japanese child
to appreciate what Spartan character
father really is. The Japanese child calls
It's father "Gempu'' and its mother "Jibo
4 which mean 'strict father and ''benev-
olent mother"
The Japanese consul at London, lectur-
\ ing on family relations in Japan, quoted
a Japanese boy who classified the Japan
csc father as one Of the "four fearful
things of the world-earthquake, thunder
conflagration and father
From this it appears that father IL
Japan does not allow any monkey worl
such as the American child hands ou
!, to his papa. But here and there you ma,
: still run across a father in English wht
will not stand for back talk or foolish
ness and who makes a sturdy outcry
. when he finds the children using his razor
l. to whittle with. Father has his problems
. of which we kids know little or nothing
and we should remember that, like tn,
. pianist, he is often doing the best he can
even when he is being shot at
. "A. J. r.