New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-02-09
THE DESCENT OF MAN.

toute latest thing IN cures s that known Tire
az patient walk on hs hands feet keeping
.n ~ ii i, ay 70 5. tSaa IN 3. St ,sat
@ IN by M i 6f II. Sapa
to b TnArysiIous-CThs Manchester ouaFdisn.I
Upright was man made"-so the sage svsrred-
And man. delighted with the novel attitude
Which marked him from the beasts received tho
And cherished IT. OF course. with pride and graft
I now declare tho yttc.anee fiction,
And meet 81 with the --LATEST contradiction
Man made himself upright Ere he could talk.
On hands and feet: he only learnt 20 walk
I hold his present mode OF locomotion
passing within. vile new-fsngled notion
Why be such slaves to fashion, Let not.
Condemn ourselves 20 one long lingering lot
OF indigestion. sickness and insanity
Just punishment OF those who outrage nature
To add a paltry cubit to their stature.
Then lose no timel Down on your hands and fseti
The new position: when You're arst reduced to It
But only wait until You once are used to iti
'Tis the one attitude there's any bearing.
Think what 1t meansI Primeval man was frs.
So far as history records. from many
.,Appendiciii5 Phthisis. heuTssiheniS; -
Nor did he send his pale anaemic daughters
To take electric baths or tonic waters.
Therefore 1 say: Down. down upon all foursl
Run like your smian sires! Only the stupidu
Lash when they see you, Vigor will be yours
Thus only may you Danish; II you care TO.
Punch
The new issue OF British forms bears on the OBJ
a figure OF Britannia. for which Miss
Susan Hicks Beach. daughter Of the recen, Chan
celor OF the Exchequer. posed. The Duchess Of
Portsmouth has been the Britannia all British
copper coins since Charles II. Mrs. Martha Wash
ington used to beam from the United States Treas
and at others in company with President George
Washington A century ago the Rothschnds sim
iary adorned their notes with the benevolent face
OF Baroness de Rothschd. and In 1897 tho State
Bank OF Budapest engraved the radiant counte-
nance OF Nine Luise Blaha. the prima donna. on
its thousand guden notes.
Mrs Jopesss1What are you thinking OF making OF
Mrs. Brown-rve made up my mind that he shall
DO stock broker You'd ought to see how smart
he Is at playing Pit.-(BostOn Transcript.
The most curious motor race ever organized was
recently held in Paris. The competitors were taken
to the top OF the Eiffel Tower and a distant church
spire pointed out to them. Then they TO de-
scenG get aboard their machines and ind their
way through the maze Of streets to the church.
QUEPYs on PEPYs
ton Of Pepys discovered be 'Pips''i
Let us rejoice when now we read
The works of Samuel Pepys
That his odd name no longer need
To tremble on our lepys.
Henceforth shall hlunder through
The honored name OF Pepys.
But speak the words does who
Through graceful measures tTepys
Time was may well confess
When just the sight Of Pepys
In print would I'LL with distress
And make think OF skepys
1t Is not 'Peps.' ncr '.Pepys"-No.
The proper way is "Pepys"
Let us pronounce IL always so
And never lose our srepys.
-CW. d. Nesbit, in Life
The crookedest railway in the world is from
Boswell TO Friedens. Penn. the airline distances
being five miles. The road doubles itself four
times and at point. after making a loop Of
about FIVE miles. the road comes back within 800
feet OF itself on grade fifty feet lower.
LENvoI
lovers join EVERYWHERE
We have part with carping churlS
Who laugh 10 scOrn loves sweetest snare
A health health IN lovely grls
1T.