The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-04
OLD ALMANAC jokes.
Collection Lately Presented to the
Missouri Historical Society.

From the ST. Louis Republic. II
A collection of almanacs has BEEN
presented to the Missouri State Histor-s
ical Society by w. H. Thomson of near
Columbia. The almanacs are 1OS in
number and date from 1895 up to the
present time. there being one for each
year. Included in the election are two
volumes of the Western Comick AL
manack," published in Cincinnati, in
1884 and 1885, by n. 6, G. Guilford &
Co. and Hubbard & Emmands.
Although some of the earlier alma
macs contain jokes and so-called hui
morous anecdotes, these two volumes.
are the oldest books in the library
which are devoted exclusively to jokes.
AS an aid in tracing the pedigrees of
present-day jokes, the volumes will
prove invaluable.
In the almanac for 1904, quite large
space is devoted to original jokes,
witty remarks and humorous anec-
dotes." Some of the jokes found in this
number are still andewring, and have
appeared in recent humorous publica-
tionS as original. The jokes are not
accompanied by any key or chart, but
so as to make the humor of the joke
readily apparent to the reader they
are all published under headings of
'humor' and the parts of the .-anec-
dotes supposed to be funny were print
ed in italics. Some of the jokes which
We're thought exceptionally good were
printed under the head Very Funny"
! There is nothing to indicate the au-
| thorship of any of the jokes. Some of
| the very funny" jokes which appear
| in the almanac of 1904 were as fol-
! lows:
"A dull judge of the inferior courts
of sister state, having attended to a
variety of causes in the morning
went to dine at a friends house with
a most excellent appetite. Among the
company was witty barrister. The
| judge, eating very heartily of a dish
of salmon, observed that he had filled
himself so full that he needed hoop
| ing. Il
" Your Honor is much more in want
of heading replied the witty barris-
ter"
"A professor, lecturing on heat, OBJ
served that one of its most conspicu-
Gus properties was the power of ex-
panding all bodies. A humorous stu-
dent rose in his seat and asked: Is
that the reason the days in warm
weather are longer than those in
cold?"
Mr. Hare and Mr.. Fox had apart
ments in the same house and each had
frequent visits from the bailiffs. One
morning, as he was looking out of his
window, Mr.. Fox saw two of them at
the door. Pray, gentlemen, says he.
are you Fox hunting or Hare hunting
this morning."
I'm a newly raised corps, soldier
lately observed to his comrade, who
was an Irish man, that a corporal was
to be dismissed from the regiment.
Faith and indeed said the Irishman,
10 "a xxrhn fc 50
troublesome in our company. What is
his name?' replied the other. Why,
corporal punishment, to be sure, re-
piled Pat.
"a person who could not read a syl-
liable took up a newspaper in a New
York coffee house, and, and holding it
upside down, pretended to peruse the
ship advertisements on the first page
with great attention. What news?' in
quired a bystander. There has been
great storm in the West Indies re-
piled the reader, the vessels are all up
set
"A country squire asked a Merry AM
| drew why he was playing the fool.
For the same reason you do. said he,
out of want You do it for want OF
wit; l for want of money"
The jokes which appear in the alma
macs of 1884 and 1885 are illustrated
with comic pictures, most of which are
highly exaggerated caricatures Some
of the jokes, humorous remarks, puns
and witticisms which were perpetrat-
I'd in the Western Comick AImanack"
in 1884, and which have not yet out
lived their usefulness, are the follow
ing:
'As broker was folding some bank
bills, wag observed: You must grow
rich fast. ] perceive you readily double
your money
"A poor country hawker, being de-