The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-06-10

mutton is better than yenison, why isn't
s-The baron laughed, overcome by the
hri- .encE ehe pun that had Just come
% him. Then he said. and his dialect
-The reason why venishon ish more
expensive than mutton ish that the people
9lwavs prefer vat ish deer to vat IS
sheep Baltimore Herald,
General James Meier. awhile post
master of Brooklyn. i'm 1850 has refused
eiao Lof z letter rom he2fS ~ arc seen,
er Wnlcn De never even puDhsheQ uhtii
recently. a note Of Nr. BeecneTs con-
tanning check for $50 was re turned
from the dead letter office in Washing
ton. and when he received the usual nos
Uce ne sent this - the post master;
Colonel McLecr.
Dear Sir Your notice that 4 letter of
min5 was dead ana subject TO my order
I'VE must an die! And. though the pre-
allure decease ~ my letter should excite
proper sympathy land ] hope ID does).
Eet am greatly sustained under the af-
fiictlan.
~ hat was the date Of its death? OF
what did it die2 Had Il In its last hours
proper attention ana such consolation as
peIlts the melancholy occasion? Did 1t
have anT effscts2
Twin you kindly see to its funeral? I
eIa strongly inclined 20 cremation.
nay ask III any other letters Of mine
are sick-dangerOusly sick? If any de-
part This life hereafter don't notify me
uLt u after the funeral. AffectiOnately
HENRY WARD BEECHER %
on learning that the letter contained a
cneek, hI Beecher called at the office
and Withdrew the request for lis crema-
lcn--Peorla Star.
The Berlin court is not without its
scandals but the emperor's reputation as
devoted husband and father has never
Dceu impugned. And the empress is as
devoted 10 him as he is TO her. A few
weeks before last Christmas the EMPRESS
while cOnFersing at a reception In the
1eliln palace with baroness whose nus
pend IS very rich, was asked by her what
tningS In the world she liked best.
your majesty, excuse my question. 80
the baroness added. but 10 would be a
great honor if / could do something. to
please YOU
The empress smiled in her motherly
way. My dear" she replied. 1T would
not be possible for YOU to give the things
.TA57. o5Sl. LOT 1 already have them"
ess may ] make bold to ask what they
II can tell you very readily" said the
empress. There are four things / pre-
Ter 10 al others. and they all begin with
a X. Anty are my kaiser (emper0r). my
hnQef tcnhoren), my kirChe Church,
S 54 my kucne (kitchen). Everybody s
some years ago. whsle a resident Of
A-1ens, o. / became involved In a quiet
4lJtLe game IN hotel room said DR. w
-. Webb the other morning 10 Macon
MOI correspondent of the New York
sun The ante was modest. and no.
DOdy was going broke. but I suppose I'M
uef a. Puritanical construction of the
statutes we were gambling. Around the
BOARD were congressman. a. judge OF
one on tne lover courts and two others
OF equal prominence and reputation
Turning at large in Athens was an
cleI8euc FeIOrmer named Coleman He
got wind OF our little debauch and
over the JrEnSOm.
He heard a learned discussion regard
n5 antics, blinds, stralghts and chips and
saw the stakes, He recognized four Of
us, but the fifth man was sitting with his
DSek 10 the door, directly under the. tran
Coleman told his narrowing discovery
10 Prosecuting Attorney Jewett and gave
MIN our names. He said ne was ready
ana wiling TO give his evidence to the
grand jury. Jewett thanked him and
warned him that when the jury convened
he wOuid be summoned.
OF course we got wind Of the affair.
ana uueasily waited for what would come
or II. Court came on, and true to his
promise Coleman was before the iurv
with his evidence.
Jewett. as the custom was. did the in
terroga ting for the benefit OF chat terri
ole body, He asked Coleman minuteIy
touching his knowledge Of violation of the
liquor laws. He inquired If he had seen
any lntTactiOns of the Sunday ordinances.
lie sought from the witness his informa-
ton concerning several recent nomicides
III the county Coleman was asked IL
any carrying of concealed weapons or
church disturbances had come under his
observation.
Then he was abruptly excused. At re-
cess he hunted up JeWett
WY the devil didn't YOU ask me
about that poker game up in the hotelT
ne demanded, Indignantly.
ON. yes, said JeWeJt 7 remember
now. ] believe you said YOU recognized
an Of them fellows, except one who sat
by the door,
90 Certainly I did. and am willing to go
before any court and swear 70 it,
Yes. responded Jewett, dryiy; that s
commendable. I'm sure-very commend
able. That mon with his back to the door
was me-
Horse races are heroic. hence the fas-
cinatiOn." said BOurke Cochran to "a New
York Times reporter recently THE fact
is sometimes ignored by persons who
condemn the sport. Recently I played
rather a sorry trick upon one Of them. 4
clergyman. As an eyewitness I described
the running Of the Metropolitan handi-
cap. and TO make it more Interesting
colOred it q bit by depicting how Irish
Lad was challenged repeatedly from the
start. and how the race was In doubt up
to the last moment. ] left the field d
few jumps from the finish. Then I said:
" "A famous hOrseman declared once
that race horse, pure and simple is OF
interest TO only three persons-the kid
that rides him. the lobster that bets on
him and the thief that owns him
" Yes. yes! replied he clergyman, inn
patiently but which of those horses Won
on that day you spoke Off 3"
a well known physician who is some
what skeptical as to the soundness OF
Christian Science doctrines, SAYS Harper s
Weekly tells this story Of an ardent Ed
dyite and her little boy: The mother was
crossing the field with her small son
when q goat appeared and came toward
them thrcateniugly. to the dismay of the
vOuugSter. who shrank in terror behind
his mothers skirt Remembering her be-
Hefs she tried to reassure him.
WHY. George" she said sOothingiy. as
the goat continued 10 advance, don't