Evening capital., 1904-01-07
THE CRUCIAL POINT
BIZ ". D. NEsBTT.


he might turn his weighty brain upon
some problem that was then. or might
at some future time, bs psstering nu-
manity. For instance, his justly ceie-
brated device for preventing cats
from singing on the back fence OF
nights would have been an inestima-
bic benefit to humanity were II not
that it involved the catching of the
cat. 1t was q neatly devised muzzie
with a gauze tip that gave pussy
every advantage OF breathing, but
which so pressed upon her vocal
cords that she could not lift her tune
full voice in cadenzas, arias and rou-
ladies' of passion, wrath, melancholy or
just plain, simple cat joy. That Is, IL
did this theoretically. To make the
invention work it was necessary 70
have a back fence and a cat singing
thereon. Even the most obtuse per-
SON will concede that 1t is plain
proposition to get the fence, but TO
get the cat is another matter en-
tirely.
Mr.. Bliggers had often taken his In
vention in his hand and, filled with
grim determination and the essence
of inspiration, had gone fenceward.
only to find the melodious feline had
gone thenceward spontaneously, so to
speak. He would always find the fence,
but it was catless when he reached
it. His wife was cruel enough to In
sinuate that he was a better cat
silencer than his invention. But wo-
man is ever the curber of ambition
and the throttler of high resolves.
But, then, that has nothing to 40
with Henry X Bliggers and his In
ventions. He would have tried to nx
up a snake trap for Cleopatra had he
lived in her day. and he would have
been too deeply interested in the pur-
suit of his experiments to pay much
attention to her. anyway. Henry was
man who placed his work before
mere pleasure. he was.
To resume.
Mr.. Bliggers struck new idea dur
ing the recent coal famine. 1t was
not a briquette. nor an oil burner,
a
that should get it's pictures in the
papers and be interviewed merely by
pressing a button or pulling a string.
Bliggers had the welfare of humanity
at heart, and besides he had no time
to read the papers, so did not know
what were the demands of the hour In
that direction. To him the great de-
mand was for a smoke consumer. He
figured that enough smoke was vast
ed every day to keep the population
of the world hot for a whole year. So
he collected all his springs and pipes
and wheels and things, and built lit
tie shed in the backyard. There, from
the remains of two unsuccessful air
ships, a sinkless submarine boat, and
a defective hydraulic pump he con-
structed a smoke consumer that work
ed wonderfully on paper. He comput-
led the thing by algebra and demon
strated it by geometry. There simply
was no reason why, IL so much smoke
should be delivered over a given area
of the firebox, a beautifully bright
and even flame should not result
Figures don't lie, and Henry X.
Bliggers had figures that showed air
pressure and foot pounds and caloric
units till you couldn't rest. So prac-
tical did his invention seem that he
had little trouble in assembling q
small party of financiers, who prom
ised to back the invention If 1t was q
success.
The day for the test arrived, and
Bliggers had the back yard all cleaned
up, with chairs neatly arranged for
the accommodation OF his moneyed
guests. A six-inch pipe led from the
smokestack of the sausage factory
across the alley, to supply the neces-
sary fuel for the smoke consumer.
When the Investigators were all
ready, Henry turned the valve that
admitted the smoke and lit the burn
er beneath the frebox. To the dis
may of himself and the unconcealed
amusement of the inspectors, a dense
black volume of smoke came from all
parts of the invention. With true
confidence in his own work, Bliggers
had neglected to provide 1t with q
fiue, for, being intended to utterly
consume the smoke, there was no rea-
sou why ii should have vent Of any
sort.
After half an hour of puttering and
shifting Of valves and pipes, the lead
er of the capitalists arose and said
that he must be going, that he had
some business to attend to. Before he
left, however. he turned to the dis
comfited Bliggers and said:
'Tt was my impression, Sir, that we
were invited here to see a demonstra-
ton of some sort. May inquire what
you have demonstratedY
You may, Sir" replied Bliggers,
rubbing the smoke from his eyes.
You may. And l will tell you what
l have demonstrated. have clearly
shown that this smoke is incombusti-
ble!'
Last week Bliggers had remodeled
| the smoke consumer, and confided to
| his friends that he was on the verge
of perfecting a machine that would
make ice by extracting the natural
heat from the water, and at the same
time could be used as a milk con-
denser and cider press. But some
how the public faith in his inventions