The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-10-16
ON SHORT MARRIAGE CONTRACTS.
BY F. p. DUNNE. Copyright. 1904, by Mcclure, Phillips & Go.

Who is George Meredith?' asked MT. Hennessy.
 "Ye can search me-" said MT. Dooley. What is tn charge again hlm?''ss
 "Nawthin" said MT. Hennessy; but I see he's in favor iv short term mar redges."
 What q ye mean?" asked MT. Dooley. ''Reducin' tn term f'r good behavyor?"
 No" said MT. Hennessy. "He says people ought to get marrid f'r three or four years at time. Thin if they don t like each other or if wan gets tired, they break up housekeepin."
 "Well,' said MT. Dooley, "it mightn't be a bad thing. Tn trouble about math- rimony as I have obsarved it firm me seat in tn gran stand Is that afther ff- teen or twinty years, it settles down to an endurance thrile. Women, as Hogan says, are creatures iv such beaueheous mien that to be loved they have but to be seen, but he says, 'wanst they're seen an made secure he says. we first embrace, thln pity, thin endure, he says. Most iv tn op married men I know threat their wives like a rockin' chair, a great comfort whin they're tired but apt to be in tn way at other times. Now, it might be diffrent if tn ladies instead iv bein' secured fir life was ony held on short term lease. Whin Arehybald, tn pride iv South Wather sthreet makes up his mind that 1t wud be well fr his credit if he entered tn holy bonds iv mathri- mony an selects tn target iV his mad affections, he thinks that all he has to do is to put geeranyum in his button- hole an inthrajooce himsllfs be his first name to be caTid to tn altar. But tn, Gawd bless thim, are be nature skilled in this game an befure Archybald has been coortin' two weeks, he bgins to shift his idees iv his own worth. He finds that at best he has on'y an outside chance. He wondhers if he is really worthy iv tn love iv an innocint young girl iv thir- ty-two. Has he money enough to support her as she shud be supported? He even has doubts fir tn first time in his life iv his own ravishin' beauty. He detects blemishes that he niver see befure. He discovers that what he used to considher a merry twinkle is a slight cast in tn right eye an that tn illin' shows in his teeth He consuts a manicure an a hair dhresser an buys tn entire stock iv gents furnishin' store. Thin whin he's thurly humble, he goes thrembln' to Belindas house raysolved that If tn fair wan rayfuses him as she prob bly, will an surely ought to. he will walk off tn bridge an end all.
 Its at this time that tn short term conthract shud be sprung. I don't know how men propose I niver thried it but wanst an tn hired girl said tn lady was not at home. No wan will iver tell ye Most marrid men give ye tn impressyon that their wives stole thim firm their or rrAY1iz z01 tc IO,rf suppose that Archybald. lavln' a silk handkerchief on tn carpet an pulin' up tn leg iv his pantaloons to prevent bag gin, hurls himsilf impetchoosly at tn feet iv his adored wan an cries: Belinda, I can on'y offer ye tn love iv an honest South Watler sthreet commission mer- chant an mimber iv tn Brotherhood iv Wholesale an Retail Grocers. Will ye take me f'r life?' Belinda blushes rosy red an replies: Archybald ye ask too much I cannot take ye fir life but I'll give ye a five year lease an resarve tn right to renew at tn end iv that time, she says. Will that dol? says she. I will thry to make ye happy, says he. An she falls on his manly bosom an between her sobs, cries.: Thin let us repair at wanst to tn Title Guarantee and Thrust Comp'ny an be made man an wife she says.
 Well, afther Archybald is safely mar rid his good opinyon iv himself rayturns Belinda does her share to encourage him an befure long, he begins to wondher how as fine a fellow as him come to throw himsilf away Not that she amt a good creature, dye mind an slavish- ly devoted to him. He hasn't anything again her, still, think iv what he might have done if he had on'y known his thrue worth. Whin man gets good repy- tation, he doesn't have to live up to IL. So bimeby Archybald knowin' firm what his wife says that he is handsome enough without amy artificyal aid, frgets tn mannycure an tn hair dresser. some times he slaves an sometimes he doesn l.. So far as he Is consarned, he thinks tn laundhry bill is too high. He adyertises