davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07

States senate. He knows that it's up
TO him 10 look like a statesman at
work. and he feels about as useless and
isolated as q Chinese image on the mar
bic center table of a farm house parior.
Naturally this community of interest
drew the new members together like
bunch Of yearlings in first snow
storm. Tt helped TO take off the chill
and make us feel we weren't quite 50
much alone In the cold world. And
when we punched together that way
we didn't ask for references or pedi-
grees. We were willing to ask no queS-
tons and 10 find each other out gradu-
ally.
But there was one member of the
Awkward squad who rose superior 10
his surroundings i'm the course OF a
fortnight-and he was Senator "Soapy
al the pages and clerks soon uickEamed
the new member with checkeTed clothes
and the silk hat. And the boy who gave
him that name had bought experience
by handing up q dollar TO "a travelling
soap fakiT whose wagon had invaded
the lads home town. Never was a fit
ter name given to "A human being, for
the minute that fellow was able TO get
the recognition of the chair he began to
play The tricks of the soap wagon; and
he kept on selling soap bntii-well. I'm
getting a little ahead OF my story.
Because didn't give him the full
force of a Manitoba wave and freeze
him stiff the minute he came mean me.
Senator Sospy warmed up TO ne Ike a
brother in distress and told me the
story Of his life in installments. he
came. he said, of poor but honest par
ents. and had made his own way since
he was big enough 70 wear long tTOus-
OTIS and play with razor. There wash [
anything In the standard obituaries of
seIf-made statesmen that had been left
out or his early struggles excepting
nights of study by the glare Of d pine
Knot fire. 50 he coHfided TO me.
Before he lefs the district school the
fires Of oratoricaI passion had begun TO
burn H. HE breast and be was a sea
soned speUbinder at Is He didn't say
anything about doing stunts at county
fairs or serving a long and faithful ap-
premiership under the instruction Jf
an expert soap fakiT. but he ala con-
feSs that his first lucrative employment
was in the capacity of travelling
teacher of eIocuton. But according 10
his account ne soon tired Of mounting
the utteranoes OF other great minds
and decided to enter a profession I'm
which he could find full swing for his
cr8torical genius and pour out his soul
I'm ,he tones with which he mad clothed
The thoughts Of others 10 the delight Of
thousands.
So De settled down 10 the study q
law ir d country town and before he
had been admitted to the bar he was
OF the stump making the welkin ring
with the noise of his eloquence. From
that time forward. he assured me, ne
had fought his way steadily onward
and upward To his triumphal election
10 the United States senate. While he
Gijnt say that he was exactly expect
ing that the presidential nomination
would be thrust on him in about eight
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07

sumption that the senator had called TO
ask for promotion instead. OF course,
he was not fool enough to make any
reDlv to the president beyond q NUT
tered, Thank you, sir 1 remained,
and as Soapy went out of the room
caugfK q gleam in the tail of the presi-
dents eve that showed he had been
loaded for his caller and had given him
this shot with malice aforethOught.
After that Soapy and I didn't spend
much time spo0ning over the garden
gate together. and the temperature oI
our relationship dropped to the zero
point-and below And by the same
token, my friendship with Hank grew
and flourished until we were as thick
as two school girls in the throes Of
first feminine affinity. When the new
president was elected and took hold OF
the plOw handles. Hank said to me:
The first thing Soapy viii ask Of him
will he my scalp. That was why he
did such hard work in the campaign
and never lost an opportunity 10 crowd
into the presence of the chief candidate.
He thinks his elOquence and activity
here have made him 50 solid with the
president that he can yank me out OF
my place on first Call-and maybe he
can"
Before the new cabinet officers had
warmed their chairs. Senator Soapy
was on hand to pour his poison into the
ears Of the new president. But II 80
happened that a private friend Of the
chief executive had given him a
straight iipe on the two meIt-and the
word of that friend Outweighed with
the president miles o. preferred
charges and tons OF senatorial pull.
have il or Inside authority that the set
back the president gave Senator Soapy
in that interview was something 10
shame a goat. The assistant post
master general STAYED in his place and
was made 10 IeeT that he had the con-
dence of the administration. With this
backing he qui stiy plodded ahead and
soon turned UP some big frauds IN the
I department that pat few fellows who
had cut a wide swath in department.
affairs behind the bars While this
made a big mess in politics, 1t put
/ Hanks stock way up and made him SO
solid with the president that load OF
! dynamite couldn't have -disiodSed MIN.
4 About the time this yumpus began 70
I uuiet down little, enc OF the neao
! inspectors who came from the senator
4 state dropped into Hanks private OF
/ ice. closed the door and said;
There's something doing now, sure
I Last night Senator Soapy came TO my
/ room ana made a-well, I'd can " 2
I straight proposition.
You can bet the assistant postmaster
+ general pricked Up his ears st that and
asked f0r 4 fuli bill of particulars.
HE said continued the inspector
chat some mighty good friends of ms
! We're interested ia financing . large IN
dustriaI enterprise which had just been
ruled out az the use OF the mails by a
+ gle,us. ri l,,t.rft order
"a t'eef- .if.ls-.llifk scheme ." inter-
Tuptei Hank
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07
The Graft &
The Calf

Br1keustraw Ranch, 1908.
Dear Ned:-So your short Washing
ton experience has already taught YOU
that men who have acquired the habit
OF being much closeted are not always
open To the charge OF making many
urayers-that is, Of the devotional sort
and that it's worth a new member
reputation for common honesty and
common deCency TO he seen in private
conversation with some of the men who
hold down seats in the house and sen
ate. That's q good beginning, for IN
congress a man is known by the COM
Iany he doesn't keep.
While all Of the Ten Commandments
are strictly pertinent to the modern
politician. I'd like to offer a rider TO
that omnibus bill ON good morals in
these words. de who takes the graft
snail also take the gaff.
It's long time since I took nip OF
beauty sleep i'm the senate cloak room;
hut there are some observations that
came under my eyes there that stick To
me like burrs in the coat Of an irish
setter. and all of them seem TO focus
iu this new commandment. There was
one incident i'm particular that drove
this home TO me hard. The same win
ter that gave me q seat in the senate
also elevated TO that dignity-aud 1t is
= dignity. t0o-a. dapper and oily gen
rIemen who came up from one OF the
stafd old states OF the east. He made
his appearance, IN a sack coat and a
pafr Of trousers that would have made
p star outfit for ring and cane fakir
at a county fair The checks of that
suit simply shouted, and be wore the
first fre-red necktie, so ] was told, that
had ever invaded the senate chamber
IL lanr f-aa q
n,odesty Of the human landscape which
he offered for the inspection Of his dis
4Fnet1ished colleagues was emphasized
nv the glare of 2 diamond stud about
the size OF q Marrow-fat pea. To top
a all his head was crowned with silk
hat fresh from the haberdasher's. All
iu-aU his get up was a work OF art it
its object was that of giving his fell
low senators a jolt that almost threw
them out of their seats.
They took one look at him, and then
the front line began 20 circle around.
every one OF them. He could empty
the cloak room on sight from that time
forward about as quick as II be mad
the mango. so far as the dignifed old
wheel-horses and the society contingent
were concerned They gave him asrat-
Ing. right at the start, that would nave
put him out OF business If II h0dn (
been for the fact that party lines were
drawn desperately close thar winter.
on several measures of immense i'm
portsDce The atmosphere that ne
came into that day would have frozen
the fms Of an Alaskan seal.
You know that 7 have a weakness
-or the under dog. Ned. and so made
40 ny mind 10 give him friendly
france. so far as ] was concerned
Then. too. every new member Of the
senate is likely TO feel a bit lonesome
and awkward when he first tries To
live in the high altitude Of the United
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07
DanIel WebsterIs Boots.

4 retired Bath merchant who was q
clerk in Boston shoe store when q
lad tells the following story Of Dan
iel Webster, says the Lewiston Jour
nal;
zone morning the Bath BOY, VINO had
to report early and sweep cut the store
before the proprietor arrived. received
a can from M. Webster The noted
statesman was fitted with new pair
of boots without any trouble By The
clerk. who considered il an honor to
At a boot to Mr.. Webster. The old
pair was LETT in the store. and air.
Webster said he would sail around
later and pay the proprietor. The clerk
knew that mis- chief was acquainted
with Mr.. Webster. and when the pro-
pTietoT arrived informed him of The
sale with great deal Of pride
The proprietor rompHmcnted the
Bath boy upon the sale, but closed
with the remark: II probably viii
never receive pay for the boots and
the sale was charged uD TO the profit
and loss account.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07
By Forrest CriSSey
Author of "A Country Boy"
Tattlings Of a Retired Politician x By Es"s;

he explained that they were good fei
lows; that he was deeply interested ia
their welfare. and that it would bd
worth q great deal TO him if the in
spector's report on the matter would
be of a character that would life tho
embargo against them and give them
the use Of the mails again Incident
sllv he limited that he could do a great
deal for me. I told him I'd cOnslo-
err it."
Did he say whether he made The
request as d United States senator Or
as an Attorney inquired the assistant
postmaster general
mo, not in so many words.
Well returned Hank, rubbing hts
SQUARE rugged under jaw with his hand,
you go back TO him, get him 10 COM
init himself on that point. and have 3
man VINO knows him hid somewhere
in your room as a witness"
Two DAYS later the inspector re-
turned. accompanied by his deputy.
He said that ne made the request
as the attorney of the men-and this
man saw him and heard him make the
statement.
That's all" said the assistant post
master general. And it's good for a
term in the penitentiary.'
me Le0efai grand July uid It's MOfh
all right and the gaff that Soapy, the
King Of Grafters. had prepared for
quiet, honest Hank landed right under
his own liver and there was an empty
chair in the senate and a fun cell ia a
certain pententiary. II he's out now
I'll bet that his experience with the
kind of striped clothes that are fash
ionable in prisons has spoiled Soapy's
/ taste for lOud-checked garments.
And 80 again I say unto you: He
/ who takes the graft shall also take the
+ gaff- I never think Of either of those
political perquisites without reverting
/ 70 the history of Senator Soapy
4 Regards to the wife, Ned, and long
I life to both Of you. Ever yours
WILLIAM BRADLEY.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07

years. he Indirectly intimated that q
good many repairs would have to be
made in the White House in order to
make it thoroughly habitable for a
man of his sensitive and somewhat del
icate physique.
There was. however. one fly in his
ointment that always bObbed up on the
surface whenever he discussed his IA
Vorite theme of his own handmade
career. This was an implacable enemy.
Although he seasoned his talk with fire.
quent hints of this mysterious and re
lentiess pursUer who had logged his
footsteps from the time he made mis-
first run for the legislature, 1 noticed
that Senator Soapy was careful not to
cali names or give me any clue TO the
identity of his dark Nemesis. But he
made il clear that this fellow had the
Yengeful malice Of an Apache Indian.
But IN have his scalp before long.
the senator would chuckle in his sudsy
way. That's one of the things I'm
here for. Hell get the gaff and get il
hard if I don't turn another trick. while
Pm here. You just wait and see. EN-
cry man who has ever reached any de-
gree Of achievement, I guess, has had
some enviOus dog swapping at his heels.
OF course, I'm beyond his power TO
HARM and I could afford TO ignore him
but I'm human. sir. and / propose t.
put him where he can no longer mas
me. 7 intend to have my mind clear
for the larger tasks and responsible
ties of my position
Just about this time ] happened to
meet up with one of the assistant post
master generals tall, lanky. raw
boned. grass-fed man who made me
feel that me was sound 10 the core the
minute j grasped his hand. He was as
handsome as a heml0ck slab, and you
could feel the SiiYers Of his aggressive
honesty st first touch. somehow I
cottoned to him right from the start
and whenever / got to feeling a little
lonesome for company of a man who
looked at things on my level, had the
smell of the good old country sod about
him and hadn't been coated with
Washington varnish. I would send Tor
Hank and we'd have a heart-to-heart
talk at HarFeys s.
We didn't swap family secrets for a
long time He knew how TO hold his
tongue. and / liked him better for not
giving up ali ne knew. One night, how
ever ne touched up little closer than
ever and finally, in his shy, awkward
way. he said.
i've had something on my mind for
/ a long. time, Senator Bradley, and
guess I'm close enough To you now. to
/ speak out in meeting.
sure replied. spit it right out.
Wei. I'll do IT," he replied. puttins
down his knife and fork and looking me
square in the eve. You've been IN
/ Washington long enough TO know that
one Of the chief branches Of business
here il knocking: scandal is a ire art
{ in these parts and the poison Of asps
as the scriptures say. Is one Of the prin-
+ cipal circulating mediums. I've made
/ It a rule TO keep my mouth shut along
/ those lines bat tonight I'm going &c
J h-aaE nEar and nake an excenLlon. w
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07
Wind 80 Tempered
TNashingLoa Times.l

This little. windy spell you are hav-
Ing in Washington, said a yarl-spinner
from the west, as ne edged up close
TO the radiator. SIS not even starter
for some Of the weather we have out
in Nebraska, the greatest state iu tue
Union. We set so out there we Ike
the sind and love TO watch its merry
FRANKS. why. sir. I have seen IT blow
so hard that it would knock che cracks
cut of the fence. pull a eistefn ont Of
the grouud. move q TOWNSHIP inc, CuanEe
the 5ay of the week. and do many Other
queer things. ] remember once, uear
Grand Island It blew fifteen cays and
nights on q stretch Tile wind held a
sheep up against q barn until i starved
to death and a goat which got caught
I'm the gale had its hair blown off ana
its hide was left as clean as Z skinned
banana J lost a good PAIR u yarn SOCKS
which were blown eff my feet without
removing my boots. But NenfasEa IS :
good state notwit hstaudins these littie
backsets. These litue blows you have
here are only zephyfs, sir.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07
Literal Reply.


Afr. Herbert Spencer and a friend
ere once walldng toward an asylum
they proposed 10 visit Their way led
them across a railroad, and seated near
the track they saw a young man reads
ing The young man was an inmate
of the institution, but they did not
know it at the time.
Ny friend. said Mr.. Spencer, pauS-
ing. where does this railroad go TOP
The lunatic looked up from his book
and gave his interrogation a long stare
Of scOrn. Then be replied.
1T doesn't go anywhere. we keep IL
here 60 run trains on
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07
- Som of the Hammer.

(Wm. F. Kirk in Milwaukee SeruneL)
At the home of dame devout
Who in mission work always led
The sewing society sat about
Plying their needles and thread.
And i'm mcI0dious key
without hesitation or Stammer.
necessarily and TeleutlesSiy
They sang the sons Of the hammer
Knock. knock. knock.
With never q halt or pause.
knock ksock. knock,
Without 9rovoCatiOn or cause
Characters white as snow
Are daubed with spots of black
While these righteous, mcrcitu. sisters
sew
To cover the heathen's back.
Knock. knock. knock.
None whom they know IS spared
Knock. knock. knock
How their neighbora' faults are aired.
The absent members. too.
Come ia for their share Of abuse,
While these worthy DANES, with mueh
sew shirts for the hoathens' use.
Knock. kuOck. knock.
While the hours are cira EsInE SLOW
Knock. KNOCK. knock.
Till they Jii get zap TO go
Their work for the day IS @ ct,
Their duty done with zest,
And when each is az home alone once
more.
She'll trim up an the rest.
On. men with sisters dear
With wives and sWeethearts glad,
Did YOU ever happen to hear
Them giving their friends the gadF
II not. sneak home some day
And list TO the sewing clubs clamof
As they sing that old familiar lay
Entitled THE Song of Abe Hammer.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07
SECTION THREE


was announced. and he has not fin
ished his explanations yet. Strained
relations and ruInors OF war make no
difference 10 these girls They ave wiz
ing TO become United States subjects
on short notice, and the American
young man had better look a little
out" or he viii ind himself captured
hair and hide
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-07
UNIQUE PHASES OF LIFE IN COLOf
Children in the Army.

an hour painter had obliterated the
notices and the bogus Tobacco Trust
,, sd gone out OF bushes.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-10
CURE GUARANTEED OR MONEY REFUNDED

Mr.. E. T. Sims, Brooklyn, N. Y, writes:
"Use my name as a twenty-year drunkard
restored to manhood and health by four
boxes of 'ORRINE.' It is wonderful and
marvellous cure for the drink abit."
Mrs. f. Wycliff. New York City, writes:
"'ORRINE' cured my husband, who was a
steady drunkard for many years. He now
has no desire for stimulants, his health is
good and he is fully restored TO manhood.
He used only FIVE boxes of 'ORRINE'"
Mrs. W. L. D., Helena, Mont, writes: 81
have waited one year before writing you
of the permanent cure of my son. He took
. sautarium treatment, as we'll as other ad-
vertsed cures, but they all failed until we
gave him 'ORRINE.' He is now fully re-
stored to health and has no desire for drink"
Mr. U. L. R., Kansas City, Mo-, writes:
81 am satisfied that drunkenness is a dis
ease and the worst in the world. 'ORRINE,'
in my opinion, will cure any case if taken as
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-10
MILL-HAVEN LINE.
Schedule

MILL-HAVEN LINE.
Schedule
Effective July 13, 1908. -r,,-,.
Cars run east on Bay street 10 ~
aker south to Broughton, west
West Broad south to Margaret. -
cars leave Whitaker and Bay street zee
for Mill-Haven 1920 a. m, 6:4O ~: 'S,
1920. 500, ETC., and every 40 mihule'
thereafter until $40 p. m. ...Ao
Cars leave Miil-Haven for CITY o ~
a. M, 1900, 1920, TAO, $40. 9;Oo I'm an
every 40 minutes thereafter until 9 S.5S
b. m. then at "6:o5, $40, 1900 f:4V' 0'-'
Last car leaves Mill-Haven 800 p
extra. daily except Sunday:
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-10

you direct. was common drunkard for
twenty years, but to-day am free of any
desire for liquor. You have found the spe-
cifc. God bless you"'
Mr.. A. E. L., Atlanta, Ga, writes: 81 was
born with love of whiskey and drank it
for thirty-two years. 1t finally brought me
to the gutter, homeless and friendless.
was powerless to resist the craving and
would steal and lie to get whiskey. Four
boxes of 'ORRINE' cured me of all desire
and now hate the smell of liquor"
Price 81 per box, boxes for IS. Mailed in
plain, sealed wrapper by Orrine Company,
III 18th street, Washington, d. c. Interest
ing booklet (sea1ed) free on request.
Sold and recommended nv
KNIGHTS PHARMACY CO.,
Cor. OglethOrpe Ave. & DraytOn st
LIPPMAN DRUG CO.,
Lippman Block, Savannah, Ga.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-10
SAVANNAH ELECTRIC co.

SUNDAY WINTER SCHEDULE.
Effective Sept. 20, 1908.
ISLE OF HOPE LINE,
PafweaD TsIa of Jona and Fortiefh ST
The Savannah morning news., 1904-01-10

MONTGOMERY LINE.
RetMeen MONTGOMERY and Fortieth 81.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1904-05-31

cheng and that there is no Japanese
force near Mukden. 1t still appears to be
the fact that the Japanese vastly OUT
number the Russians; the latter may
eventually be forced back to Mukden,
where a decisive battle is still to be
expected; but, in the meantime, not
only is Liaoyang not taken, but every
mile of the way between it and the
present Japanese position is likely to
be contested. There is nothing in the
news of the week to make improba bic
the ultimate success of the Japanese
in their Manchurian campaign, but it
is evident that that success will not
be easily achieved. IL the rainy season
has indeed set in. the fact constitutes
n Russian advantage; it may postpone
Japanese aggression some months. in
the meantime, Cossacks may be able
70 worry their enemy considerably.
Furthermore, the delay is held Ito be
an opportunity for those Russian re
endorsements which have been SO long
coming across Siberia. In the interim,
however, TIE JdpdHeSc armies III
Manchuria will undoubtedly be ire
mendously augmented.
Port Arthur still stands, and no Sc
rious effort has been made to capture
or reduce it. although predictions were
made in Toxic that the end of the
week would see that city and harbor
in possession of the Mikado's forces.
The first serious naval disaster of the
war has overtaken the Japanese,
though its effect is rather moral than
actual. On the other hand, the Rus
sians have again been compelled to
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1904-05-31
THE BADGER STATE.
NEWS OF TIE WEEK CONClSELv
CONDENSED.
Gang Looted Cars in Transit-Nurse
browns in Lake Monona-M Milwaukee
BoodIer Is Convicted = Young Man
Throws Himself Under Train.

Existence OF an organized gang for the
plumber of freight cars by breaking the
seals on the doors while the cars are in
transit and throwing goods 10 the ground
at places agreed upon beforehand,
whence they are collected and sent to
Chicago for sale. has been revealed by
the confessions of Matthew Theilen and
Walter Devereaux. A third man, Ed
ward Mason, alias Patterson. captured
with the other two, is implicated in their
confessions. Mason is in Racine. where
he will be tried for one of the most re-
cent of the robberies, committed or a
moving Chicago. Milwaukee and st.
Paul train at a point near Corliss. The
youthful desperadoes made a desperate
fight when the police endeavored to cap
ture them in the home of TheiIen in
Chicago. Lieut. Schlau received infor-
nation from the Wisconsin authorities
that the men were in Chicago. He traced
them to Theilen's home With Police
men Kelly and Niggemeier he went to
the place. On the approach of the Off
GERS they were greeted with a fIsili2de
of shots from the basement of the house.
The lieutenant and his men dashed
down the stairway and throwing them
selves against the door, smashed it
amid shower of bullets from the men
inside. All three were arrested 1t
was found they were wearing articles
taken from car which had been looted
May IL. Sitting barefooted and discour-
aged in his CELL Theilens said: There
are four of us who have b en- conducting
these expeditions Systematically for the
last year. We have secured over 5000
worth of merchandise by this thievipg"