The Minneapolis journal., 1904-04-11
THE N0NPAREJL MAN
''svho Is. Your Fat Friend 7"-The Natural
History OF FATTY and Why He Comes
to Be So and to Remain SO in Spite OF
Good Advice. About Exercise.

An eastern paper mas come TO the de.
fense OF Fatty" with the argument that
some of the brainiest men in the world
have been plump even to the point of
obesity. Napoleon became a little sensi-
tive about the matter toward the close Of
MS career, and no one ventured to ad-
dress him as Fatty There are num-
Der. of heavyweight literary men Of the
present day who are playing around 200
pounds, probably because they are better
the starved authors of the previous CEN
turies. Yet DR.. Johnson was fleshy, even
to clumsiness, and SO was his biographi-
cal shadow, Boswell. Balzac, the great
French novelist, was SO stout that it was
good exercise to walk around him., and
he was encircled with bandages Rossini,
the musical composer, was a Jumbo, as
he never saw. his knee. Lablanche was
charged three fares when he travelled
Lord Byron and Eugene Sue, the author
Of t"The Wandering Jew SO dreaded be-
coming fat that they took lemon and vine-
gar to prevent It,
A fat man is not necessarily slave to
the pleasures Of the table, either. Some
OF the fattest men. in this office are salts
fed with Is and 20-cent lunches, while
several of the leathery and parchmenty-
appearing workers give evidence of a hol-
loWness of the lower limbs, by demanding
a Ascent dinner and by looking about
hungrily, for more at the finish, besides
making a roundup between times at the
free lunch counters when they were run
ming
The trouble with the fat man is a state
of mind that prevents him from running
around the block for exercise before
breakfast. FATTY does not sufficiently
feel the strain of existence. Your thin
man will go, out in the morning air and
nearly, break a leg running the lawn
| mower or raking UP the leaves. Not so
Fatty" From bed to breakfast is his
little run for exercise And he doesn't
either.
We fear that "Fatty" let's his wife
do the worrying. '..z =,
The Sacred Heart Journal says that the
editor Is working the Journal plant alone
Eddy Myhre's sickness proved to be
pleurisy, which will lay him up for some
time to come. For the benefit of the
young men Of the village. we will inform
them that his illness is due to smoking
cigarettes" Eddy inhaled the smoke, and
| 1t got in its work on the lining Of his
| lungs.
Correspondents have dug up the fac1
| that Judge Parker is worth $50, O0O VIII,
do they always pick on the wealthy pluto
| Gratis to run for office?
I Ann. whose age was in dispute las
winter, Is said to have died last week
She ssuccumbed when some one pro
pounded the following problem to her fo
| solution: - - r. i ,E.EtE
| Come h1ther, my son, and the son of my son
and the son Of my sons SON. son.
And the sons of the of my sons sons sons
L Let each of them bring me his son:
The Oldest Is ten and the youngest Is three
| And the smallest is four feet high. :, g, .
The largest--a seanty two. feet is he.
/ 50, figure from this, what am 1? .$
There is grief in Middletown, N. Y.
and, in fact, over all Orange county, be
! cause Of the death Of Eliza. Eliza wa
reputed to have been the Oldest hen i
! New York. state, being no less than 1
years old. She had gone out of TIL
1 egg business for some years, but was KEEP
alive for her general intelligence an
kindly disposition. Wsemay be mistaken
p but We think we have met several, hen
Of that age at our boarding house. ~
1 DR.. Bixby' and DR.. Walt Mason, bot
of Nebraska, where the blizzard has Jus
done it's darndest, are, engaged in a con
: troversy as to- whether or not the cray
ing for strong drink is a "disease:'' d
MASON says II Is, and DR.. Bixby saws
Is not. The latter offers the example c
his own case, jn which a craving for nice
tine was finally set aside, The doctc
Y says: ~ ;s7t = !r,-: - t,l.. =
j For many years we saturated our system wit
nicotine. Chewing or smoking, one or the othe
all the day long. Time and again. realizing tl
permclousness OF the practice, we "tried"
stop using the weed, and failed every TIM
Finally We reached the conclusion that the <on]
way to carry out given purpose was to carry
out The question was settled In five minute
and settled forever. 1t was entirely negatiJ
proposition Appetite said: 81 will''; reasc
answered; "I won't'' And every time the Col
tention was settled in favor of the negative.
a man Is aware that the liquor habit Is doir
him great injury, and he is honestly and earnes
" desirous of being. rid Of it, all he has to,
is not to do, He will have moments of emu
of. physical and mental discomfort, but the
viii be nothing when compared with the distre
| of recovering from a spree. If bad habits al
diseases you be Of thing, that thf
will readily yield to the proper application
"mental medicine.
Hence DR.. Bfxby contends that tt
craving is not disease" but "whim
:, At the outset Of the controversy, if eac
side had written down his definition
= = the word disease" there might ha,
been less need for argument. A "whin
is often dis ease-that is, it is a paint
lack Of ease.
Whether "a whim, disease or whatnc
. the craving for a drug is a bad thing
: have and q good thing to get rid {
T. Yet how hard a boy or a man will wol
+ to establish this craving in his min
!. And then, when he gets little sensibl
a how hard he will work to get rid Of
!, Funny old crowd--the gang!