New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-12-12
THE LESSON.

CBY R-DY-RD K-PL-NG1
Thus spake the Sage at Christmas time-hs words
''The only thing I like to get in my stockings is
my feet
When eaEths last present is given. when the sifts
. are bundled and tied
- ever the folks abide.
We shall rest-and. faith, We shall need it; lie
For We know that our Christmas presents are COM
ing to US at length,
We know that for every t-tnket that we in despair
That SOMEBODY somebody else over our gift in worry has
That SLIPPERS and smoking Jackets. and razors and
And holiday, sets OF Shakespeare have shortened
Thus spake the Sage at, Christmas time: "Ah.
, many men have jokeG
About the box OF gift cigars-such men as never
And many shall say they are happy-they shall sit
in q Morris chair
And each Of us rather syly his hattened out purse
And look at his Christmas present. and nutter:
/ spent too much.
Perhaps when the years have swiftly away to the
Then one shall give present. but each enc shall
Then each one shall hang his stocking aloft on his
And pick out the Thing he chooses-and puff at his
own cigar
Thus spake the Sage AT your distress It's nor for
me TO scott: -
If YOU don't ike. what fills your hose then have
your legs cut of
-tChlcago Tribune
The London Standard which recently changed
ownership early received the nickname of Mrs
Camp" while The Morning HERALD was caI1e1
Mrs Harris" The point of the jest according to
THE Buffalo Commercial is explained to be that
while both papers were owned by the same proprie
tor and were under a common management they
We're in the habit OF gravely referring each other
-0fC aIv tn
rate oracles OF opnion-much as Sairev c;amp
habituaIy quoted the testimony of Mrs Harris TO
her own virtues. The parallel was carried even
further by an trreverent humorist, who explained
that The Morning Herald' was called Mrs Har
ris" because no one ever saw IT.
There was a small boy who went /, srno,r-
school. When he went home his mother asked HIM
what the lesson was about. Faith" said the bnJ-
the boy repiied And e1 tIe 70 suppose amt So
duty he replied lis any old thing thai P'i Won hon 0h
Judge. cat
IN Guthrie Okla. every one belongs to some Ma
sonic lodge. Recently new man came to Guthrie
and located just across the street from IL T
Swearengin prominent Scottish Rite Mason
One day. about week later. Swear,ngin saw a
tve-year-old boy OF the neighbor as the lad
was passing. and after few preIminar;es asked
If his father was Mason No, sir answered
INC 10y. tIoodoiSs lileA, he Is Odd Fellow
suggested Swearengtn, but the boy again denied il
Then he must be Pythan." said the Scottish
Rite man. but the boy said No" Isn't YOUR
father member Of any Iodgc?' asked SUearen
gin, incredulously- Not one answered the lad
Then why does he make all Of those signs when
he comes out in front each morning. asked
Swearengin. Why. that's easy" said the boy
Pas got St Vitus dance"
Painless Dentistry"-'.VNl-v-iu il hurt r,,cnq,.
must come out. ~ w
Wen. II will jar YOU a little. of course" he re-
IL never had a tooth pulled before she said
OF escape. ~
But 1t will be all in a second or two
"Ore moment, doctor l am not sure | can stand
the pam Folks have died in the dentists chair
Don't you thiri | would better wait until to-
Madam sternly replied the dentist as he
winked NJ has assistant let say chat I ann
giving 80 trading stamps TO who
has q tooth pulled to-day and the offer Won't hold
good tomorrow TherefoTe''-
Therefore go ahead ina pull il as quick as YOU
cam! she said. as she leaned back ard opened her
mouth and shut her eyes.