The San Francisco call., 1904-11-15
DO WOMEN
UNDERSTAND
MEN?
By Dorothy Fenimore.

lieve that men understand
1 i women far better than women
understand men. They take
more pains to do so. If they did not
they could never manage to live with
us as happily as they actually do.
Most feminine traits are proveroial.
Even the unexpectedness OF woman
kind has become, through constant use'
a positive quality. Everybody knows
that a woman's will is usually won't.
Nobody retains any illusions about the
consistency of feminine conduct.
Yet one of the sex's favorite regrets
is that it is not understood. A woman
likes to feel that her nature is as COM
plex as a Chinese puzzle, which is COM
prehensible to no one but it's maker.
Meanwhile she prides herself upon
her knowledge Of man. Does she un-
derstand her sweetheart? I should say
she did! Can't she twist him round her
finger? Does she understand her hus-
band? The question is absurd.
Doesen't she manage to get her own
way in everything?
Here she rests satisfied, In spite or
the fact that she has only opened up
the possibility of the situation.
/ believe that most men go through
life pretty lonely after the first hush
of gratified love has faded for them A
man tries to do his duty by his home
and he gets a good deal of pleasure out
of it as a reward.
But in moods of disappointment, or
of ennui, he goes to the club, there to
solace himself with cards and cigars.
Figuratively, and literally, Is Isben's
query on the outcome of marriage per-
tinent:
What is left of Loves young dreamf
The smoke Sic transit gloria amoris.
What does the average woman know
of her husbands burdens? Not much,
in fact. The world of business is quite
outside her comprehension. Her daily
round is all-engrossing. When her hus-
band comes home at night her own
perplexities are too many and various
for her to be in a receptive mood for
his anxieties.
Her private stock Of sweetness and
light" gave out early in the day, when
Tommy spilled the glue over the new
piano. She has settled down to habit
ual consciousness that every week day
means hard work and self-denial, and
every Sunday means relatives and indi-
gestion.
Do you recall that gusty-or dis
gusty-sigh of Burns over the contrast
between married life and the seductive
promises of courtship: Love is a saft,
sweet, balmy, triumphant and glorious
lie, in place of which nature offers us
in mockery during the rest Of our lives
the puir, paltry, pitiful. faded, fushion-
less. cauldrified and chittering substi-
tute, truth"
Not truth, say I, is such a marriage
as the one implied. 1t is half>truth, or
even less than that. There is far more
truth in what the Ettrick shepherd
calls "a lie."
But there are certain grounds of COM
mon interest on which a married couple
do not agree without a mutual effort
to understand each other.
A mans spiritual outlook, for one
thing, is difficult for a woman to grasp.
The force behind her Work is faith; her
face is ever turned toward the light of
the life to come. The force behind his
work is courage, the power, to act
worthily in the difficult present.
Facing the worst, he hopes the best;
Singing he works, while women bid him
pray
The wrong his busy arms arrest
Her faith commits into a higher way.
A man, on the other side, does not al
ways realize how important part SEN
timent and it's trivial expressions play
in the life of the woman he has mar
ried. Ordinarily he is too busy. For
loves sake. as the poet says. he divides
delight with duty.
But meanwhile let her not mistake
he cherishes within his breast thought
of her which helps to keep him true.