The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-05-20

er b has put a dose OF choral In her
fathers gin and water"
That's very fair. But how much
does she weighT
How much? How muchf WhF,
what odds does that make? Whoever
heard of weighing the characters Of q
pIayT'
at makes just this difference, Mr..
Bowser. Ii your heroine weighs 1GO
pounds and your hero only 40 the au-
dience won't be prepared to see him
throw her ver his shoulder and trot
across a grapevine bridge and up the
side OF a steep mountain. However,
you can have her take antifat and feed
him upon corned beef at the same time
and thus get the right proportions. He
bears her of at midnight. but where
tor
"Issaid there was to be no sarcasm"
protested Mr.. Bowser.
And there is none. / nm just max
ing friendly comments. Does he bear
her to a depot. a ferryboat or whereT'
He bears her to the mountains. of
course. l want mountains in for scenic
effect. He bears her 10 a ave in the
mountains. Her father discovers her
flight next morning. and he raises d
force of fifty men Inc starts in pur-
suit. He swears that he will have her
back dead or alive and that he will kill
Adolphus or put him to the torture.
Right there again is n chance for a
Booth or Barrett. Imagine the scene.
Tho fifty mo ~ ra Ira u-p Yrnan , hriJra
over a gulf. The old man stands con-
fronting them. Suddenly he raises his
right hand and"-
The cat had come out, thinking the
performance had closed, but when Mr..
Bowser's right hand went up he real
lied the peril of the situation and made
a second scramble for life.
Never mind" consolingly observed
Mrs. Bowser as the hand fell.
But / will mind" he savagely re-
torted. "Do you think I'm going to
have n of the best plays of the GEN.
fury knocked out by a cross eyed, dou-
bic iointed old spotted tomcat.'
He spent FIVE minutes freezing the
cats soul with terror by words and
glares and hen gave it up, and Mrs.
Bowser said:
"Well, Adolphus gets the heroine to
a cave, and they have a picked up
breakfast of johnnycake and bologna
sausage. and then what happens?"
who said they had any such break
fast?'
Then they couldn't have had any at
all. That isn't so material to the play.
however. The father and his fifty
men follow IN, of course?"
"Of curse. What are they there for?'
But you should have the villain
guide them. You lave q villain.
haven't you?"
~"Y-e-s-that is. I'm going to have.
There's no particular hurry about tie
villain butting in. He will naturally
lead the crowd when he does come in"
We'll, the villain. the father and the
fifty armed men set off up the noun
tain. and then what happens:"
They are overwhelmed" replied
Mr.. Bowser.
by a snowslids:"
Eyes, by a snowslide started by
Adolphus. He sees them coming. He
sees a ssowslide just ready to slide.
He would spare the father in order to
have u father-in-iaw, but he cannot.
He swings his hat. He calls u He
warns them to return before it is too
late. He stands thus. a~nd-and"-
And Mr.. BOwser looked around for
the cat. The feline had his head out
from under the lounge. and the two
stood glaring at each other till Mrs.
BowSer had to laugh in their faces.
Thanks for the insult" stiftiy re-
piled Mr.. Bowser
But it is no insult. Please go on
with the plot"
Not another word. madam. / was
an ass to have told you as much as |
DID. 1t * evident to me that o are
far more interested in an Internal old
cat than in my play. and you and the
cat can 20 to Ballyhack.T
He thereupon walked down the hall
and put on his hat and overcoat and
walked over to the drug store. He
knew the druggist to be an old theater
goer. and after Il bit he queried of him:
what would you say if | told you
l was writing Il four act comedy"
Il should say that you were the big
gest jackass in town. was the prompt
reply.
Afr. Bowser looked at him for a mo-
ment with sudden death in each eye
and teen passed out into the night.
And the gas lamps flared. the shadows
danced rs he wandered TO and fro and
felt that CT all the living, breathing
human beings on earth he was the
only one who couldn't write a play and
get a snowslide started at the proper
moment. NJ. QUAD.