The Montgomery advertiser., 1904-04-03

Once upon a time there was a very
 funny man, who was also wholesale
 concocter and builder of very funny stories. People of appreciation who
 heard him spin yarns to the conductor on the downtown bound trolley would stay on the platform to listen to his merry tests, even If they went twenty blocks beyond their destination. Ono day he gracefully and slilfully told a story that our Muchausener Munchasen tbout a human snake in a dime museum that had the faculty of, or rather the ability to, charm hot birds when he was properly and decently filled with the contents of a cold bottle. This story he followed with a hot line of aphorism that popped from his mouth in tandem or Indian file fashion, even as the balls pop from a Roman candle. One of them was Take care of the pennies and the. dollars will keep you out of the poorhouse;" another was. Never despise small things. a barrel of brandy is made of ponies." and still another was, Tt takes hard money to get soft snaps.'' Just then a man in the crowd handed him hls card and asked What do you drive at for livelihood? 2" T sell pumps on commission" replied the romancver, T work drought he en- tire doughnut belt of New England
 Pardon me- said the we'll dressed stranger who had dealt the card, but you are simply wasting your time. You are not creature of pumps; you are being of much higher and superior order I am not 0 missionary nor a professional dispenser of gratuitous ad- vice. Still I can and would put you onto a good thing, that will pay you so handsomely that. If you follow it, you will shortly i'll your strng box with so many bonds that you will require, a lawn mower for the purpose of eliminat- ing the coupons from the same.'
 The pump magician had a long. keen vision, and with this long, keen vision he daily nay, hourly, swept the financial horizon. His was game of gathering and getting there with both feet so when the we'll dressed man, whom he now re- garded as something of mind reader. repeated his little. symphony of ducats and the luxury that Is their preferred handmaid, the romancer asked him in pleasant accents to unfold his precious argument.
 You are wasting your sweet young life, and I am going to tell you how you can utilize your gifts and squeeze bucket fuls of aureated joy from the great orange of success. In short, wri.e out all the stories that you throw to the fou- winds of obvilion as you go about on your pilgrfmageS and work them over and polish them until they have first class, ten cent, patent leather shine. and then hurl them one after the other. like half a mile of endless chain country sausages in vaudeville show. The crowd will so crazy If I know anything about 1t. and you will soon wear bunions on. your fingers counting your cash"
 Here the stranger leaped lightly off tho car and was soon lost in the crowd The pump seller sat for while lost in silence and deep meditation. In his vision of vaudeville victory he could see himself gliding along in big red buzz wagon and sitting down to terrapin and champagne. utterly oblivious of the existence of his present diet of coffee and sinkers. varied by beef and. So he set to work and wrote out his stories and polished them according to the directions of the stranger who had put him on the high road to fortune. When he had learned them by heart he called on well known manager who listened patient iy to his tale and then took him into the theatre and asked him to rattle off his monologue.
 The delighted pump seller, glad of So golden an opportunity to make manager acquainted with his great and varied gifts. lost no time in mounting the stage and proceeding with his talk. He had