West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-02-25

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yo'r judgement. Let bacon and
Goldfish satisfy yo' until yo' hey
looked around.
"Yo' am doubtless awar' of de
fact dat dc torpedo chicken am an
Injianny inversion. an dat ober
| $4,000 Of 'em in use in dat State.
10 some cases whaf' de torpedo
chicken am in use yo' will find a
red chslkmark on dehencoop doah;
IN odders yo'wiIl take long chances.
Make no decided move till yo' hey
bin in Indianapolis fur at least a
month"
Il was gwine to say, sab, dat l
doan' keer fur chickens tall"
Den it's all de better fur yo,
Brudder Watkins, and jest as we'll
fur de chickens. Now, ABOUT de
society in indianapolis. How do
yo' propose to start ouip"
my wife will gin a soiree soon
after We gin dar' sah."
Oats k'rect. Yo' will find
three sorts of culled folks in ebery
town. De FIRST strata am de walters
and BARRIERS; de second de white.
washers and stoveblackers; de
third de common niggers who job
around by de day. Invite only de
fust strata to your soiree. You
must hev ice cream. 'Iasses candy
and at least one kind OF cake. Pa
per napkins will do, but you must
not pass around water in tin Dip
per. Ifyou heven't got tumblers
huff. den use couple of yalIer
bowls.
GAS de host you will be expected
to wear white cotton gloves, red
necktie and a new paper collar neb-
Der worn before. If dar' am no
bell on your doah. den hire one fur
de occashun. No soiree was eber
a success widout doah bell. If
you have ice cream huff fur three
dishes around, you Will at once es-
tablish yourself in de fust strata
"Now about your finanshul stand.
ing. Was you gwine to tell cherry
body dat you was in de ice cream
and lasses candy bizness simply to
occupy your thoughts while waiting
to invest SIS, 900 sumwhar'?"
ono, sah, replied Shindig. 81
shan't dun do no Dragging tall. +"
"Da,s right. You need not tell
everybody dat you only had ~
cents left after reaching de town,
and you need not carry de idea dat
it makes yo tired to cut off your
coupons, Take sort of middle
course. Pay cash fui what yo' buy,
and If de report spreads around dat
you am millionaire, do not deny
nor admit il. You will attend
church, of course2"
eyes, sah--twice on cherry Sun
day in de daytime, and once in de
eavenin."
"Dat will gin them de impreshun
dat yon am hustler. / believe you
am Baptist. Dat religion am all
right, but doan be in a hurry. De
Methodist religion am all right. II
de Methodist church down dar in
indianapolis has bell and stee-
pie on it, and de Baptist church am
only sort of shed, it might be POI
Icy fur you to jine up wild de form.
er. is sorry to say dat in desc
degenerate days we jedge of a man.
religun more by de outside looks oil
de meeting house dan how he act.
inside of it.
"Dat's about all, Brudder Wat
kins and you kin feel assured in
gwine away from dis club, of which
you hev bin a member almost sine,
de FIRST meeting, dat you leave only
friends behind. We shall want tc
hear from you often, and we shall
: hope to hev your spirit wild u
at cherry regular meeting.
cit am custom of de club /,
, make presents on SIGH occashuns
. but if you will call at my cabin be
fore you go will give you re
ceipt fur chillblains, and also tel
you how to pick out a ripe water
millyon from a green one on d,
t darkest night De meeting will nov
bust up an 60 home"
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