The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-07-23

Doiiy--Were you pleased when Char
icy proposed7 Polly-Pleased? /
came pretty near giving him our col
iege yell.-Puck.
Neo-At took me long time to
make up my mind If a man who specu.
lated in stocks ia. a fool. Ted-How
dld you finally determine? Ned
speculated.-Town Topics. sa
Sonny" said the good old man,
I'm surprised that you should tease
tnat cat In that way" "Why," replied
the bad boy, pausing in his inhuman
work, DO you know any better wayT
philadelphia Press.
Mr.. Slap-What is the secret of Gill
d1ooy's success Miss Bang-Why, he
knew a girl who spends thousand a
year ON dresses. Mr.. Slap-Ah, see;
ne married her? Miss Bang-Oh, no;
he married her Comic
Cuts. -..-.- ..
Young SWELL left a letter on my
table when went out. Where is it?
Valet hope you won't mind, sir. 1
thought it would do nicely for my
sweetheart; SO posted it to her. Your
Christian name is the same as mine!-
Tit-Bits.
Whats the matter, little boyT' ask
edy old Mr.. Goodart, what are you
crying for boo, hoop sobbed the
boy. boo, hoop "Come, come! Don't
mind! Don't mindv BOO, hoo! 1
didn't, an that's what 1 was licked
fur."-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Young Couple (who expect the visit
Of very misery relative. from whom
they have expectations, are clearing
the room Of every sign of luxury
Wife (earnestly)-We must do all we
can to make uncle feel at home. Hus-
band (caustically)-Then we had bet
ter let the fire out.
Mamma, can God hear everything?"
Everything, Willie" And is God al
ways happy" always, Willie. Why
do you ask?" "Well, l should think
1t would make him suffer little to
hear what sister and that fellow of
ASAS dA0 Saying " GULL OLASA Ala IAO
next room."-Smart Set.
Parker-What's wrong? You seem
worried. Streeter-I am. wrote two
notes-one to my broker asking him
If he took me for a fool, and the other
to Miss Golding asking her If she
would be mine. While was out some
body telephoned YES" and / don't
know which of 'em it was.
Precautionary measure: Mrs. New
ed Ia bride Of six weeks)-And how
long will you be away, dearest2 Mr.,
Newed--About ten days. Mrs. Viewed
We'll, think I'll learn to cook while
you are absent. Mr.. Viewed That's a
good idea. And I'll take the dog over
and leave him with one Of the neigh
bors.-Ex.
Nellie (sympathetically)-You poor
dearl What a narrow escape! And
what started the horse? Gertie Qndlg'
nantly)-WeIl--you know, Will was
just helping me out of the trap, and
the stupid horse could not tell the diff
ference between a-good-night-kiss
and signal to start. And he-start
ed. Some horses have so little
sense"
A girl forced by her parents into q
disag reeable match with an old man
whom she detested, when the clergy
man came to that part Of the service
where the bride Is asked If she con
sents to take the bridegroom for hel
husband, said, with great simplicity
"Oh. dear, no, sir, but you are the first
person who has asked my opinion
about the matter"
The laundress' little daughter had
been allowed to peep into the dining
room, where the table was set for
dinner party. "And, mamma" she sale
later, "every plate had two forks by
1t, What was that for?' "You dom
know the way Of your betters, child,
replied the laundress; 1.-The extra forA
10 in case they drop one on the floor.
Detroit Free Press.
French Maid Ito inquiring frtends)-
Out. madame Is i'll, but re doctor hal
pronounce it something very trihing
very small. Fr1end-Oh, am SO re
lieyed, for was real anxious. What
does the doctor say the trouble Is
French Maid-Let me recall. 1t was
something very leetle. Oh, oui, have
1t nowl Madame has re smallpox
Woman's Home Companion.
1t was Mabel's first appearance a
church and she was rather fdgety
First she wanted one thing, then an
other. Finally she decided she mus
have a pin, so she asked for one from
her father. He had none. Then sh'
tried her mother; but her mother, too
had none. Mabel'S longing had beer
increased with her i'll success, so sht
climbed upon the pew and shouted a
the top Of her small voice, HAS any
one in dis trowd dot a pinT-Lippin
colts.
Pussy Man (hurrying into a news
paper Objective lost my spectaclet
somewhere, and want to advertise TO
them. but can't see to write withou
them, you know" Advertising Clerl