Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-05-09
MOVING DAY HUM0RS
Funny Experiences in New
York's Police Stations.
MOVERS HAVENO HOMES
REMARKABLE FREAK KNOWN AS
THE HUMAN JUNK SHOP.
Instance of Convicted Cashier Laying
by Loot for Future-Prudish Young
Women Draw a Crowd.
ecial Correspondence of The Evening star.

Special Correspondence of The Evening Star.
NEW YORK. May 7. 1904.
A great many reckless characters, all of
them far plunged in alcoholic hilarity or
ferocity, were picked up on the streets of
New York and Brooklyn on Monday last.
All Of them, too, had literal bundles with
them, besides their figurative ones. Never
before were the police stations of New
York so cluttered with bird cages wrapped
in newspapers-and some Of the cages con-
tanning parrots of most blasphemous and
profane speech-rubber plants in pots,
clocks In all stages of noisy activity or
somnolence, gunny-sacked and complain
ing cats, basketed dogs and other intimate
and more or less fragile fiat gear. The
station cops couldn't understand 1t until
they took a look at the calendar. Then
they remembered that Monday was annual
moving day. The real day, May 1, fell
on Sunday this year, and so 1t had to be
set day behind the regular day. Most
Of the lookup movers appeared to be
wholly callous and Indifferent to all that
destiny, in the shape of the police magis-
trates, had in store for them.
One man in particular, q BroOklynite who
was precariously wheeling baby carriage
containing a tall rubber plant, and running
into everybody when the cop nailed him,
was In such a state Of hopeless cynicism
cell that he didn't want to be released
He told the magistrate So
Where do you live, my friend?" the
kindly magistrate asked him when he
was brought In. The prisoner had an ex-
terror that betokened respectability, barring
his defiant eye.
I'm Mulroy's moving van, your honor"
replied the prisoner, gloomily.
Don't jest with the court sir" said the
magistrate, bit severely. / am inqutr1ng
your address"
'"rhat, your honor, is what I was doing
when l was pinched," said the prisoner,
helplessly. Il dunno where l live. You
can search me. Somewhere on Henry
ing when / started for the last address,
but never found 1t. Doesn't make any diff
ference, anyhow. I'm all right Give me
about three months end I'll be oatished
Then I'll at least know where I'm located
The sympathetic magistrate at length
succeeded in extracting tee sad story of the
man. Ills wife had moved him, and made
him help in the moving, some five several
times since the first of March. She had
10 sooner got installed in one fiat than she
became tired Of 1t, or had scrap with the
janitor, or heard Of some other nat building
where better bath tub or superior dumb
waiter could be had. and then the moving
game supervened once more.
Troubles Of the Married Man.
The man had to cut the carpets five diff
ferent times to fit the rooms of five diff
ferent flats since the first of March. He'd
been compelled to wheel that rubber plant
around in the baby carriage SO often that
he was at length beginning to believe that
the rubber plant was a live baby and was
waiting for 1t to let out yell. so, as a
last resort, although 1t proved to be of no
resort at ALL he had resolved to get spit
Tod ho
SO as to forget his sorrows In that dis
graceful condition he had been corralled by
the Brooklyn watch.
The mans wife was present IN the police
court and completely verified her husband S
story.
Its ell true, your honor" she said to the
magistrate. ct was all my fault. l made
him move all those times he's told about
But If you'll not punish him I'll promise
that 1t won't happen again. I've got the
fiat all fixed and ready"
"Where Is the fat. madam inquired
the magistrate.
the street?' said the woman, fiustered
and then she pulled a piece of paper out
of her pocket book and found the address
Its on Montague street. your honor.
"Well, you. may go, my FRIEND, SAID the
magistrate, commiseratingly. to the prls-
oner.
The prisoner, however, stated that he
thought he'd rather not. He didn't care
he said. He'd been moved 30 much that
life had no further interest for him. He
preferred to be committed to Blackweiis
island for about three months. to give ms
mind q chance to be restored. He felt
confident that at the island he would be
stationary at least for a while, and that
was good enough for him.
It took all Of the Establishments or his
wholesome-appearing wife to finally induce
him to permit himself to be released from
the clutches Of the law, and the last seen
of him he was wheeling the BABY car
riage containing the rubber plant away
from the police station, with his soothing
wife walking alongside Of him and buoying
him up by telling him that the fiat wasn't
much more than two and a half miles
away and that they'd ought to be able 10
reach it inside of an hour or so.
Some of the other pinched movers had
stories of similarly mournful character
to unfold to the magistrates They'd been
spending most Of their time for months
past, some of them said in going down to
the gas office to have the gas turned on
in new flats, and in propitiating new jani-
tors and so on, and they didn't much care
what became of them any more 1t would
almost seem, judging from the vast num-
Der Of arrested movers, as If the word
had been secretly passed around among
the chemically moved husbands that 1t
might be a good scheme for all hands OF
them to get Jagged up on the annual NOV
ing day II only for the purpose of showing
their wives up in the police courts.
The Human Junk Shop.
Instances continue necessarily to multi
ply in this correspondence Of how badly
they need the money over here. Instance
about the 2,00Oth is that Of '"The Human
Junk Shop" man named John Easel,
who was operated on at Brooklyn hos
pital the other day. John, the human junk
shop has been operated on SO many times
for his peculiar Observation-Disclosures COM
plant that it looks as II he isn't going to
get through with his life this time.
The human junk shop, who has been ex-
hibiting himself at museums as freak
for a number Of years, makes speciality
of swallowing almost any old thing that
is not quite the size OF torpedo boat. He
swallows the things right in the presence
O. the audience. too. 1t has been thought