Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1904-09-22
Dooley's RoOst, July 81, 1904

arrived at home last Right, being
done work on Sequachee River and was
thinking of taking a good rest for sew
eral days. l had several reasons for
this. In the FIRST place the boys have
robbed the bees and we have plenty OF
honey, huekleberries, black berries and
June apples that have put of getting
rine until now, are now in and this is
nv best chance to fatten up, and pre-
pare to wait for the early mast to begin
to fall. These were my happy thoughts
until was confronted with the sad re-
ality that old Corkscrew had put in An
anpearance with his mouth twisted
awav around towards the foot OF Wald-
ems Ridge, and had slobber running
down and off the end OF his chin that
would compare very favorably with AZ
inch rope.
At the time specified l was at the
window where Mrs. d. always stands
when 1 am cutting and splitting the
stove wood in order to tell me when 1t
ia too long or too short, too large or too
small, and was paying little or no at
tention to my neighbor for some time'
nv mind being ON very spirited rat
tlesnake fight that was going on near
the place designated. After the snakes
had swallowed each other all but 10"
inches of tail my curiosity subsided and
turned to speak to my neighbor about
the health of his family and found him
warped off by the side of the cookstoVe
like a moor cow hiding from the March
wind on the sunny side of a barn. and
shaking like a fiddler's elbow, and De-
fore could ask him anything he told
me he wanted to borrow my left hand
! ed gimlet and cross-eyed spectacles and
get some of my liniment to rub on an
aching tooth, and as l never had trieo
my liniment about the mouth very
readily agreed to let him have It, anC
40 concluded to make the application
myself.
So l got the liniment and featne
and began to anoint the gums aroun'
the root of his tormentor, when all u
once the tooth hoped out looking for al
the world like the horns OF full grow
deer. and went down his throat torke
end first. He did not take the matte
verv seriously az first, but eventual
expressed some fear of his stomach be
inc in too feeble condition to diges
such thing as deer's head or arm
full of stove wood.
However after he took ditferen
view of the matter and said he dlon
care cuss if it killed him for he woul
then be out of the way of tax collector
and mortgages outstanding that wer
now overdue.
AS soon as could get his tongu
STONED long enough said, "Look, hel
Mr., Corkscrew, don't say die. That
the last thing man does before leavln
this world, and have a scheme and
it works successfully which | am sati
fed it will In all probability | may
able to do something for you before tn
time comes. l am just about to disco
er that this liniment coming in conta
with the oxygen and nitrogen that '
daily breathe will eclipse anything tn
has ever been known and becomes
light that air ships and balloons can
inflated with it at ease through u
iphtest air known to science and
capable of carrying several with ca
and can be steered with sufficient acc
racy to make any desired point, and
will escape into unsurveyed space
soon as cut loose from earth, and is
pable of carrying me and you and sew
al of our friends at the same time, a
as safe guard against accident y
can have rope tied around your bod
and the other end fastened to the b
loon. If you should fall out yc
friends could haul you in"
whats that got to do with my
inp9" he inquired with an all-go
yawn.
"Bus, Corkscrew, I argued, ~
plan will be to get into another plaI
before death overtakes us and cobb
us up. Who knows but that Mars
Venus or Saturn, or far-oH Neptune
the abode of people that never die.
will be worth trying to get there at
rate, won't it?'
looked up and was pleased to
Corkey in open-mOutned wender at
scheme. / had heard it said that SO
one or other who had more mouth II
e their share, be or she has mouth II
ear to ear, but this was the first 4
grown we'll developed case Of brc
mouth / ever saw. His mouth was
ually stretched from ear to ear and
was making signs with his hands
ing speschless in his surprise and
glad hope OF escaping death and
grave. couldn't understand the
tnres &c was making 5u. Saev IL