The Kemper herald. (Scooba, Miss.) 1875-1908, 1904-03-24
HUMOROUS.

Many a good novel has been found
ed on facts, and many a good newspa
per story has foundered on facts
Puck.
There are not many people who can
reach Success via the Stepping Stones
of Failure without getting their feet
wet.-Puck.
They say Brown is ten years ahead
OF his time" We'll. it's not true.
He's six months behind. I'm his land
lord, and ought to know"
No, there is nothing In superstition.
but would you, now, would you, enjoy
sitting down to dinner in company
that numbered thirteen? Would you?
Chicago Record-Herald.
What am ever going to do with
such bad, bad boy?" sighed the fond
mother. "Oh, you leave me alone" "
replied the young hopeful. I'm not
half as bad as / can be."-Brooklyn
Life.
1t was only five years ago that
started in with our firm at S. a week.
said Bragg. "and now l earn $50 a
week without any trouble" That's
SO; it's easy to earn that" remarked
hewitt, 'but how much do you get?"-
Philadelphia Press.
Il hear" said the boss, that you've
been kicking because you've got 80
much to do" "Well-er-yes." replied
the clerk. Il did think" We'll,
we'll have to give you so much more to
do that you won't have time to kick. y
Philadelphia Press.
Edwin (before marriage)-Never
mind, dearest, I'll shovel off the snow
so that we can skate. I'd shovel ofl
acres for you!" After marriage
What! Me shovel off the walk? Well
l should say not! I'm no chore boy
Chicago Daily News.
why did you abuse your husband
madam" 81 just couldn't help it
Judge. He said something perfectly
awful about me-" What did he say?'
"He said wasn't any handsomer thar
the new 2-cent postage stamps
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Doubtful.-Mr. Softleigh-"Tommy
do you really think your sister likes tt
see me better than she does Mr.
Brown" Tommy-"I'm sure of 1t, fol
evenings when he's il the parlor sht
turns the light down so low she cam
see him at all. ll."-Pick-Me-Up.
"DAuber is home from his trip II
the Rocky mountains. isn't he? Wha
sort of a time did he haye?" "Oh! b,
spent most of his time making sketch
es OF the mountains. He showed mi
a lot ofxthem." How were they? Nat
ural?" '"Well-er-they're certainl,
rocky y."-Philadelphia Press.
Why doesn't the man who turnet
his wife's diamonds black with the x
rays go into the fuel business? Thu
is going to be hard winter, and IL Goa
is as high as it was last year. we wht
have diamonds to burn would do wei
to have them changed to resemble thu
real thing as near as possible. Blaz
ing with diamonds will have a nev
meaning. Record-Herald.
John, DEAR said the sick mani
WIG, j III nave tO TIN q Wdy iAoAAA ~
for an hour or so today. have to &c
the material for a new dress that th'
dressmaker-" But" compliance
the sick man, do you think it is righ
for you to be thinking of dress Will
/ am so sick?" why, John, it will b
all right. no matter what happens IT.
a black dress" Philadelphia Press.
A father returning from busines
complained of having suffered all da'
with the toothache. and had his ham
to the side of his face. as though d
were suffering great deal, At tn
dinner table. His little son. about
! looked at him sympathetically, an
said: Papa. can cure you, If you wil
do what | tell you to. Fill your moutl
full of water and go SIT on the STOW
! till it boils. B ooklyn Life.
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