West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1904-05-26

appetite was too great, that they
could not satisfy it. / am now
sojournine among the mourners. hui
still crying aloud for pie"
Sheriff John b. Ford was next
called to respond to the toast, "Chin
whiskers."
"My Fellow Mourners:-
am a living example of what
chin whiskers can do when sprouted
by a maa like Bill Sch@ffer. The
chin whiskers were always the van
guard. When ever | went | was
confronted with them, Early in
the campaign | became thoroughly
convinced that / could not overtake
the pie as long as Bill and his chin
whiskerS defed the storm. | finally
surrendered TO the chin whiskers
and joined the army of mouners," "
Squire ID Y. Morris was asked to
respond to the toast, "In and out. "
"My Fellow Mourners:-
My toast is one which | have had
political experience with. | have
been in and | am sorry to go out.
While in l was gay and happy.
When ] so out must pray longer
and louder for redemption. In GO
ing out | join the majority and in
this seek consolation.
Squire c. Y. Bishop responded
to the toast, "Needed ii in my busi-
ness"
"My Fellow Patriots -
| am called upon to say few
words as to how | could handle the
Squiveship in my business and save
costs to yours truly. My sad ex-
perience in the various courts of
justice prompted me to make appli-
cation for a court of my own. That
| failed is no fault of of mine, but
the grafters, who promised to shove
it along. They showed it little
too far. II is beyond my reach now
and | am left to mourn"
Squire Chas. w. Wolfe was call
ed on to sespond to the toast,
"How it feels to be Squire twenty
four hours
"My Fellow Victims:--Had you
given me an inkling of what my
toast was to have been would
have searched the dictionaries for a
word to express my JOY while / was
a squire. will be frank and say
that did not feel that the honor
had been thurst upon me. Far
from it. Six pair of shoes tell the
tale Of how / chased il over King
wood District. / worked my ton
que over time to convince the peo.
pie that it was a case Of the man
looking the office. / had conefatu-
lated myself that my frankness
would carry the day. Various rea.
sons ] might assign for my defeat
but the public is not interested in
my wall. | must vail alone as
many Of you are doing today. /
am yet young and handsome and /
do not propose to wall myself away.
| maybe defeated pie hunter but /
am still pie hunter for 1908 !"
Squire Eugene McGinnis re-
sponded to the toast, "The Circum-
volution Of Flopping, or How /
Hit the Sod"
"My Fellow Newly Made Mourn.
res;-I am sorry l am here today
giving grief to my flop. It could
have been avoided had ! remained
in the woods. But the curiosity 70
sample the new tangled pic which
you we're pedding around prompted
me to come out and meet the fate
Of the dog. While the curiosity
was on 1 rather enjoyed the rolling,
tossing and Topping, but when
hit the sod my moan could have
been heard on the banks OF the
Yalu river il was so spontaneous
and genuine. II was no fake, al.
though had been faxed My ad-
vice 10 future curiosity. pic hunters
is to keep of the sod Those who
tell you that it will not meet you
half way in your descent and start
you on your ascend with a Satanic
grin have never hit the sod Ny
experience Is that the flop is easy
but the sod is hard. The report
that an aurora borealis had fallen
from the heavens above and tore
the immense hole in the sod at Tun-
Melton IS mistake. This bole 10
the sod, where thousands have view
cd il loF The past two weeks. is none
other than Squire McGinnis's im-
print in the sod So great ia The
curiosity to sec this hole my friends
Jimmy Hunt and Frank Gale have
built wall around it and are oharg
ing ten cents adnfqsfon to aee &,