The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-08-21


 our kind iv bishop2"
 No said Mir. Dooley. "wan iv tn near-our-kind. He didn't ra-aiy open 1t
 tn way ye think. He didn't own tn
 int He ony backs it with his moral inhooence. like a brewery Ye sec It was this way. Wan day this bishop dropped into his club. don't know why 1t Is we always say a man dhrops into a club. He's more likely to dhrop out if he ain't supported, But. anyhow. tn bishop dropped Into his club an hurlin himself into a sumchuous arm chair. opened his brewery an settled down to wait fir tn evenin" pa-apers. As he set there with his feet cooked upon a chair, readin' his devotional book an occasionally alvin into tn milk punch, he says to himsilf: This Is rale comfort 4 club is a gran place Suddenly tn thought sthruck him.
 What, says he, am l doin' f'r tn poor? Here am I loungin' In comfort at me club. Has tn poor wurrul5in' l an a club? Not at all. He has no club but tn wan tn polisenlan carries. Thin where does he spend his time be.veen four o'clock in tn afthernoon and eight O. | clock dinner? In tn saloon. Tn sa- looms I r-read about where tn poor wur- rulxin' man buys a shell iv b. CT. ates four dollars worth iv free lunch an goes home an beats his wife or vicy varsy as tn case may be. Is no place fir him. l will start a model dive where me hum ble mechanic frinds iv tn slums can take their karosine amid comfortable sur roundin's, chat with their fellow jugglers on tn issues iv tn day an go home l ilivated in evry sense iv tn wurrud,' he 1 says.
 An he done it. Fr'm what can make out about this model saloon 1t ain't much diffrent firm tn peaceable hell that I've been conducting fr thirty years. Tn main ingreejent iv amy rest cure is there on tn shelves. They'se bar fir thim horny handid sons iv tile who can sleep standin' an chairs and tables fir tn les hardy ruffians that prefer to coal up in a settn' posture. Tn bartinders ar-re affable and sober men. but that's thrue iy all bartinders. They ar-re sup posed Hinnissy, to give tn consumers a brief moral chat while pushin' out tn paint Afther tn third basin 1t may be nicissry fr thim to have an illvinth com mandment handy in the shape iv an ice pick. In a corner iy tn impooryum sody wather fountain so that tn poor wur- rukin' man don't have to dhrink tn des- throyer if he don't want to, but can go over an initiate himsilf at tn gas wur- ruks Whin a customer at tn adjnin' counther begins to chry over tn May brick case, tn prelate in command there steers him to tn liquid air department where he does tn rist iv his shopin', charges himsif with a pan iv carbonic acid an floats home. This is to help his hiccup so that his wfe'll know he has not been idle. I understand this branch iv tn plant hasn't had to hire amy extra help. Tn principal customers is mimbers v good governmint clubs dis guised as poor wurrulSin' men in ole tim his clothes. Wan iv thim was heerd to say that he didn'a care whether the bar boy made 1t an egg phosphate or vanilla strawberry mixed as he did not intind to go home till tn followin' day, amy | how. Tn more permanent poor wurruk- | in men, tn atheletes in putin clothes iv blue canvas, has thus far not invisti- gated tn model saloon beyond tn beer | pump. An now I come to think iv it. | can't raymimber iver seein' poor wur- rulkin man sprintin f'r tn Dutchman's pause in front iv a drug sthore if in doubt. It may have happened but I did- n't notice it.
 "Th' saloon was opened in person be tn | bishop. l r-read his speech It was fine. 1 He recognized that dhrink was an evil. haWn' met 1t. But 1t was a nicissy evil.
 On tn whole, he was inclined to think | it was more nicessy than evil. Takin' 1t all In all or half and half, or anyway ye liked 1t was a good thing. He took his dhrlnk at tn club an why shud his more | humble but akelly droughty frinds among tn wurrukin' classes not have their souse
 as well? They shud. He wud advise moderation, howiver. A man, be he rich
 or poor, shud niver take on more than
 was good fir him CTh' manager iv tn saloon: Or thin he's good f'r.D he ac- | cipted tn correction. If he was saw
 in mechanic in this bright land iv op- porchunity he ought to be good fir what
 was good fir him, or more. Whin a poor wurruhin' man felt tn insljious march | iv tn brannigan he shud say: No, boys, | no more fir me. must go home to tn | lil vans If need more can sind thim
 out f'r 1t. A poor wurrukin' man shud niver f'rgit his family while. on carouse | No amount iv sobbin' on tn neck iv a bartinder while tellin what a comfort wife and childer was to tn inebyated ar | tisan wud make amy diff'rence. He must | go home sometime durin' tn night or | he is no thrue upholder iv tn Christyan saloon an It's refinin inflooence. His parcel shud be no more than that iv amy gintleman at club, lest he be as | tn beasts iv tn field who don't dhrink. Boys. it's on me.
 | | opened. Tn archdeacon tapped a irish keg, tn vicar gineral tossed together a model gin-fizz an tn good bishop smiled | binivoIently as tn hardy vistrymen 1 quaffed tn nicissry evil An whin tn | dice box was passed did tn hand iv tn | potter shake? l don't know, Hinnissy. But do know tn model saloon is gon' to be a gr-reat moral inflooence in that neighborhood. Whin tn poor wurrukn' | ari n | clock with tn fox tarryer tn good wo- man turns to tn little vans and says: | .Childher, see what a lovely bun father has got firm tn bishop An whin tn 1 tired tiler wants refrishment at night, | he calls: Mary Ann, take tn pitcher an go down to tn cathedral fir quart | I'd give something to have what Hogan | calls an impreematur over me dure.
 l DO I think 1t will be a success? Well. Hinnissy, 1t wiidden't become me to speak iv a rival in me own line iv business Bishop Potter an me ar-re both mimbers | iv tn same flock, tn Liquor Dealers | Protictive Assocyation, an in that fel- l lowship an injury to wan Is tn consarn | iy all l don't know whether he has tn Qualifications fir a succlssfu saloon- | keeper. Not that tn two lines Is alto gether apart. Both bishop an saloon keeper has ia flock to take care iv but | to a certain extint Hinnissy, we ar-re each iv us thryin' to keep our flock out iv tn others hands. It aint ivrywan | that can be a bishop. An 1t aint ivry- wan that can be a saloonkeeper. A sa- loonkeeper must be sober. he must be honest, he must be clean. an if he's tn pastor of flock iv poor wurrulxin' men, he must know ivrything that's goin' on | in tn wurruld or iver wint on. on'y | discuss tn light topics iv the day with ye,