davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

The financial burden which Mark
Twain carried some years ago weighed
on his mind heavily. In these mo-
mentS Of dependency there was one
tactful friend who could make the
humorist forget his troubles. This
was Dan Beard the artist, who Illus
trated some Of Twain's books
Dan Beard there Is no tonic that
can equal the company of cheerful
man" said the humOrist as he entered
the artists studio.
"Ah, but have such a pleasant sub
Ject to work upon that | am not in
need Of either man or tonic for my
checrfulncss, retorted the artist.
Beg pardon, it is | that need the
tonic. and that is why l am here"
said Twain forlornly
Then allow me to prescribe n dose
Of your own medicine" And Mark
was handed copy Of his book which
Beard had been studying.
y thank YOU" replied the humorist.
1T took me year to get that medi-
cine out of my system, and l do not
propose TO imbibe it again"
A discussion of the book was fol
lowed by hearty dinner, and Twain
left his friend, having received the
cheer that he needed.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

81 am sick Of the sound of Ellen
Darnlcy's name ana DICKS, too" cried
cynthia. forgetting Uncle Ucnry's
shrcwdnoSS.
Il know" he said sympathcticaIly,
III is "a bore to hear of people you have
never met" And he discrectly turned
the conversation into other channels.
Two days later Dick was shown into
the library where cynthia was sitting
before the fire as he had seen her last
Her cheeks flushed at his sudden ap-
pearance.
Why" sine exclaimed, did you cx-
pcct to return so soonr"
NO" he replied They telcgraphcd
me last night"
He forcborc 10 say to whom they
referred, but Cynthia naturally inferred
that it was the firm. Later that even
ing Dick met Uncle Henry at the club.
Say. Ormsby," he said joyously, ITS
all right"
why my dear boy, when you are as
old as ! you will know that nothing
succeeds like success. told you Ia
fix it,"
You got Courtney to send me to
Denver"
'And the letters and Ellen Darnlcy's
wedding did the rest. ! saw the fruit
was ripe. and ! telcgraphed you tC
come and pluck it,"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

A writer ia az English publication
declares That birds wag their tails
when they are happy. The gauder''
lH says, when Ia has to bis SAT- Sfac-
ton driven OF dog from the presence
Of MS Spouse returns t" her craniuE hia
neck toward her, ana wags his tail
with pleasure. our juckdaw. OF rather
iilldaW. as ii is a female. Oh our return
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
Death on the CuIm Bank.

No matter what form death assumes
It is never welcome. The grim mes
senger makes his appearance i'll many
forms in the anthracite mines Of Penn
sylvania, but only one form is painless
and pleasant, and to only one the vic
tins 90 unconsciously. 1t is the death
of the burning culm bank.
Many times during the year is such
n death recorded when one of these
great culm banks is burning. The ire
is not seen in the daytime, and at night
1t shines only with faint glow through
the layers of ashes which separate the
live Goals from the outer air
To these burning banks tramps ana
other unfortunates forced TO spend
night in the open air go when the
nights grow chilly. The warm breath
of the culm lures them on with prom
ise of warm bed for the night, and
they lie down TO sleep in the comfort
able atmosphere of the bank and never
open their eyes again.
The noXious gases cmanating from
the bank watt over them so softly that
they are soon asleep, and in many cases
they never awaken, being sufocated
during their slumbers.-Detroit Free
Press.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
QuietinE II Bully.

A man was brought up in pro
viSiOnal court on charge of stealing
a sack of flour and was very severely
handled by the prosecuting lawyer,
who had once made himself notorious
by going into bankruptcy. which was
the only means by which he could es-
cape his debts.
You admit that YOU stole the sack
of four questioned counsel sternly.
'YeS, but | took it honestly and In
broad daylight TO save my children
from starvation" pleaded the prisoner
You call that honestly, do you"
snecrcd the lawyer. Il call it amaz-
Ing impudcncc Stealing is stealing
from whatever point of view you care
to look at it,"
Just so, mister. but it don't allus
bring the same punishment" retorted
the man i'm the dock For instance,
! shouldn't have been here now if I'd
done rs you used to do-bOught or or
dcrcd. the flour ana never paid for it''
And even the magistrate chuckled
behind his papers at the bullying Law
''l y haStblllll littN. t-''llAlAIil X A'AAs'.
Confounding Doubtcr.
"This paper says thct they have Jest
dccscovercd the rccmains Of twenty
foot saurian en- tn banks Of tn Penob-
scot river"
"Nhats Il saurian|
y dunno. Guess mebby its one O
them misp~intS fer n sardine."
"Thcre Amt no twenty foot sardines."
"WrH. there might he the reemains
of one"
Il don't believe it. Do you suppose
anybody d want ter buy box Of sich
sardinps? | guess not
You're too dcrn critical. Eff there is
tn reomains o amy twenty foot sar.
dimes on tn Penobscot don't you sup
pose there might also be tn rccma in'
Of men b.g c4uG to buy 'em by tht
box? You're a atheist, thets what
you arc. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
John Ruskin.

Ruskin had every advantage in the
happiest domestic environment, and
when he exhibited his treasures - a
manuscript Of Scott or Il drawing by
Turner-one could fancy him TO be Il
calm connoisseur with hobbies enough
TO secure ample and delightful occupa-
ton. He received one with the courtesy
of a polished gentleman Of the old
school and talked delightfully."- without
the least assumption of superiority. |
remember how on my first visit lie
gave me Il recent number of "F0rs," in
which, he said, | should be Interested
because it spoke OF Alpine travelling.
So il did But he had quite forgotten
that he had taken an unfortunate Nr-
ticle of mine for Il text 10 illustrate the
vulgarily o. modern scrambers. lie
remarked that | thought the Alps in
proved by the odor of my tobacco
smoke. | adhere to that heresy; they
Were gently improved for me. | might
have claimed to be a disciple and tod
him that ;Ler beauty had been inter
pretcd to me by Modern Painters,
though increased by my tobacco, but /
thought it better to drop the subject
Sir Leslie Stephen in Atlantic.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
DICKS
PROMOTER
By BELLE mANIATES
c,,g,ght, 1913. by T. c. Mcclure
svvv,rvvvvnIv,vNyvyvvvvs

Cynthia sat before the eickering fire
light III the library after Dick had
gone. gazing rue:uHy at the ringless
third finger of her left hand. which
might have been diamond bedccked II
she only could have-Dut, no She
couldn't She liked Dick lie was
generous. good looking and danced so
well. If he were only not SO tame!
She had known, of course. that ulu-
mateIy his attentions would cuIminate
in a proposal, but she Didn't think il
would come 50 prematurely
1t was so Ike Dick to call at such
an ab~urdly early hour ana blurt it
right out without any preface and then
to leave immediately without replying
TO her kind little offer of friendship.
Dick had no f"esse Still, she wasn't
sure that she liked man with too
much-lihe her Uncle Henry. for in
stance.
As if in obedience to her thoughts
there entered the room at this moment
her uncle, Henry Ormsby, bachelor
clubman Of some thirty and odd years.
What, Cynthia, And no DICK"
Dick has come aHG gone"
Dick usually comes and stays"
q know it," She sighed; but, you
see, he came once too often"
And that is why he did not stayT'
''Yes and its just rs well. Dicks are
sometimes tircsomc.'
Not this Dick He's quite a favorite
with your sex"
Dick iS?" She asked, with elevated
brows. "Oh the girls like him be-
cause he is agreeable, but none of them
is very enthusiastic over him"
That" replied her uncle, is be
cause they are used 10 him and have
grown up in the same town with him.
Then you know this is such an old
fashioned place - all paired off in
stoadios Dick has been yours for so
long that none Of your girl friends
would ,Aink of showing or receiving at
tcnt;r0 from Lim, but : Dick be
rnu- man in a new place and he would
be the hon Of the town"
Hes such stay at home: he'll
never 20 anywhere" said Cynthia
petulantly.
"I think he'll have TO 20 soon. be-
cause the Junior partner of the firm
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
An EMectIYc PreacrintIon.

Uncle EaStus had never enjoyed a
medical education or spent much time
In the study of Diseases or remedies.
Nevertheless he was often consulted by
the ncighborhood in times of stress.
II ccrtuly don know what I'm
Gwinc TO do bout desc staggering head
aches my wife has" said Mr.. Orlando
Clay Jefferson gloomily to Uncle Ras-
tus in the sccluSion of the tiny room
known rs the doctoring parlor.' ''Dcy
keep increasing an magnifying as time
goes along Seems as if | couldn't git
her a good preachment bout de food OF
de house or any oh her ncglectS wild
out her getting one oh dose staggering
aches in her head. None oh my fust
two wives had such works"
Uncle Rastus bent keen glance from
under his bushy eyebrows ut the cross
old face before him, but he offered nc
suggestion.
Hadn't you got some kind oh pills
dat'II stop dose staggering headaches
dat keep her from de cook stove?' de,
mandcd Mr.. jefferson impaticntly.
"No. sah," said Uncle Rastus i'm.
prcssivcly; "dere's no such pills in de
market But de bes' way TO stop her
staggering headaches would be 10
fastcn down your mouf wild n big,
wide piece oh sticking plaster, Mist
Jefferson I'm puppared TO put II on,
sab 4"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
lie Obeycd Orders

Old world domestics make the best
possible servants because they work
like machines, never forgetting an or
der and doing exactly as they are told,
without presuming 10 thinS for them
selves. But once in awhile this litera.
adherence to duty produces some awk
ward results. An American woman
living in India. with native servants,
once told her butler 10 see that there
was always a napkin at the bottom Of
the fruit dish, cake basket, etc. when
these were brought TO the table. The
napkin was thereafter always seen In
its place But one day a tureen OF
vegetable soup was served and the
hostess began TO WELD the long, old
fashioned silver ladle about in x. Some
thing very like a fringed rag made it's
appearance in the first plateful. The
butler was summoned to remove the
dish. at cannot be. that the mem
sahib found no napkin at the bottom"
he hazarded, much distressed because
Of this unexplained disapproval "for
l myself placed there the largest one
l could find"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
BIRDS SING ON THE WING.
Their Notes Are More Charming
when NnrbIed During Flight.

when WurbIed During Flight.
The songs of all birds gain in beauty
when they are uttered on the wing.
They seem to be delivered with more
abandon and greater volume The wa
ter thrush's first cousin, the oven bird,
furnishes a striking example of this.
His ordinary song consists of repe-
tition of the same note, hammered out
with constant creScendO.
Very effective ii is, too, as part of
the general music of the forest, though
lacking individual attractiveness on
account of the mOnotony Of its itera-
ton. But when the bird rises above
the treetops and descends after the
fashion of the indigo bird to an accom-
paniment of scattered notes he takes
far higher rank as a performer.
Not always, however. does he require
the exhilaration and inspiration of an
aerial toboggan to cause him to aban-
Ion his plain chant for a more tiorid
song. | have heard lim sing the latter
perched on a grapevine not two feet
above the ground. And as if to show
that he did not reserve his superior
powers for special occasions he min
gled it with bis plain chant and end
ing with the song and sometimes re-
versinS this order.
love to see the oven bird on the
ground There is such n ludiCrous as
sumption of dignity on his part as he
strides about the stage, never for n
moment forgetting himself so far as to
hop. There is the same even, meas
urcd stcadincss about his movements
that there is in his chant. 1t is only
when he launches himself into the ef-
fcrvescing song that he forgets his
staid Observation-Disclosures
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

-, ......., .,.,. =, -.
t5'o, 49, ~ 80, no a,,i,. ,,,t
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'.'' '''.'7 49, 49, ',
- 1rt,.,.,. l,.f,.a,r,r,1,,. eLa rood.
- s',,',.' ,'.'u llHe - ns
ness trip. Please accent INV apologies for
ny hasty speech and departure last night.
J lear am not a E'1d loser, he4e'e me
''''' . 40 0- '@''''' ''' DIC1<
,o,,, ,,..,.o Crrtrio.s fooIings min
,,,ad and connictfno Ue had followed
Tar ,,.i.Los. o,,,I Inco,,o bor friopd h,t
40 ,,a+, ,,,s ,,a., upsotisf,c,orr 10
r,od cfv.n Lor no Dcpyor ,ddrrss nor
onv i1oo or ,ho lonoth of his absence
rt,,,.a,.,,. ,s...,.r,. -, ,,i.,,,+ ,, o,,I, 10
,1,.,,,- tl,-t i,fo,.,,,otior fro,r hc,. u,,.ra
yithont lis srsrnctinr
cbo +,Io,bo,od hin, tho foIIo,ri,o dov
and asl,cd him to call that evening
To co,rnricd vi,b har rocucst nc n
Tho cau br+ oae,ood :, an unoommpni-
rat;yr mood
.,Rv tho v,v,. sha finally said 81 had
notn from nfck He was inst off for
bonyar"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

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$780,, w., 49,. r,,,., ,1,,,a far
r.a,,.,a .,a;n, -. I.,. t1,a Larsn
,in,t i fort,,no+r.,, Amt r.ttv ,.-i,,I,,
have observed f~um the cyprcsgiou Of
w. ,,,ooo,, e,,o o,,,l .I,o ..,,,,,.,,.,,,t am.
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go df,,,,ar Iri+l,' arsor and ,fotiIdo
ord ,.a,, a,,d Ina, ,,.;,I I,a,.,, NOR, room,
-. ,rro,,. d,.,.1o,.,, cbo ro+
81 49,, cfal..;a,,,t,I,, -, ~, nm. s,,o
oa,,td ~ nannb tho ~, hrool .ho,I.
-.
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49, -. ,.., 49,, ..a.,,I ,r,,,, >,
Anat Da+t,. ,,.o,,o,,rtr.o os,,od moro
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o tirnn Hothor indood9 Como awov
cnfld"
Amt Rattv v.os rorfoc.Iv rigbt They
bod dri,.a, .o,,,t,,l,. ,,,o,,,, ,ir,o ord
ncrbans IL the old ,rhrtc horse conId
t,u- mo r,ight ,dd tbo+ tho corverso.
t;on no overhoord an tbeea occoeions
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

,.,l, .t,, o,,.,,,.r ~ tl., ...,t Clio y,.ag
l',', ~ Wv, I...,- I.... ,'.l ,..t T..
pi"''N'" - INN '", ''''' ="
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"Tbi. is post arnovfnr" said Inc2
Iool.ir,, roelv f., cry
=, ,r.,., ..u p.i.
n1orod a doc:dod occnnt an +bo I,st
word
Inao hi+ nor lin yy,hv dfd bo NOT
onoIogizns
.T shou oo+ ou+ ord ,roII, she said
oftar Roh had urpcd Ned in vain to
trot olono
LITTLE GROSSLY u will get ont myself
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
LANGUAGE or THE HAND.
tcurceIy "a Sentiment II l. Not Ca. o.
bic of Expressing.

Eyf.u % qnt.rr. ventures for tNc fist
,.,,... +, ..,..-,, .,l,a hand ,r ni. rI.r9 .r
,r,. .,ftr..,. .,,ftl.dI.s,r. fr and thar is is
,..,,rr .... ,.. ..,. 81 n,,.a nh, I.n.,rt FIR
,,,. -. a.. sYf~.r. Il which is lie
,rrn,. .... If .l,n said "H,. .,,I.om r,.r-
,.ft +, t..,,.b ,.,. hand rIa, bgpr. aIs.. 10
t.n.n NM. hort IN lowers. ru.rr Is
i,l.,a tI.. L,rI i- ,.,tI,Ira,yu to .y
-, -.n,..r Lrt s.,, extended a,.fn
IN t,.op of reconciliation who ,.n
teu mn ,I,a, fs safI nv tbr hand which
another is couyoyfpa- to the IfDs 10 have
- Kiss tpprfrtcd upou il? This is dune
oitTnr slowly ar Lgstl,r either with
-ro,nhIinp or boldly. ana EXPRESSES civil
itv or rcsn4ct Gratitude or love. Two
hands are folded togathcr-tbeir owner
prays the folded hands are raised he
eoIici+e so,oetl,fno. rL.v are rubncd one
against The other-hc is impatient. The
raised finger threatens, when bent it
bnckons. when extended il points.
,r,vo froors nrodure tbe suar q s.gn
of cont4rppt or defiance. The hand
g,vo.. tho hand receives both sneak
aIoud
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
Poetry and Science.

Poetry has perhaps no place in the
exact sciences, partly because exact
ness is Incompatible with poetic license,
partly because of the unalterable tend
ency Of the poet to get things wrong.
a curious example of this was noticed
in a lecture at the Camera club by Mr..
Duncan on cuttletiShcs. The modern
cuttlefish is a descendant of the fossil
belemnite but the only descendant Of
the coeyal ammonite IS the paper nau-
titus. Better known is the Portuguese
man-of war, viii which the paper nau-
titus is sometimes confused and which
Is really allied with the bclemnite
group, because, while its shell appears
external. il IS not really so. The poets
Pope, Byron and James Montgomery
all ensily fell into the error and Pope's
well known lines in the Essay on
Man
Learn Of the little nautilus to sail
Spread the thin oar and catch the driving
gale
embody Il wrong description of this
very interesting survival. Pope beliey-
ed, with many other people, that the lit
tie nautilus comes to the surface keel
downward and spreads some tieshy
oval and ciliary expansions in the form
Of two sails and six little oars. But 1t
does nothing of the kind. The two lit
tie oval expansions the sails are new
er raised at all, but always tightly
clasp the shell. They form, in fact,
part Of the shell Moreover, the nau-
illus comes 10 the surface upside down.
if we may so express its position
LOulOn Post
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
HIS WINNING
COLORS b.: BY.
EDWIN J.
WEBSTER
Copyright. 1893, by 7. c. Mcclure 9
4s4eS0g s%ez 50 &s~g 2S% 9ea$S

1t was the evening before be big boat
race on the Hudson The town was
full of jubila9t set anxious collegiaus
and alumni incidentally it was
thronged with pretty girls, who We're
scarcely less ardent in their partisan
ship OF their fJyorite crews ana univer-
stiles than the college men themselves.
Everybody booked cheerful and happy,
though there was a perceptiblc current
OF nervousness as each thought Of the
great race the next day on which so
many high hopes were ceutered.
Big Bob Jennings. the stalwart stroke
OF the crew from the northwestern
state, was an exception 10 tile general
rule. His face wore look of deepest
gloom. From appearances Bob had no
reason to complain ol fate, for it would
have been hard TO find a prettier girl
than the one he was walking with.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

Men Of talent ami briIiance whose
mental products have pleased and as
tonieLed the world ana women around
whose fascination and charm has re
volycd many u distinguished social cir
c.e have fallen allie victims to this
insjdloas ana degrading habit The
false idea that better and more original
work can be done ~ means Of such an
unnatural stimulus has been the ruin
Of many ncJie characters Whether it
he cocaine. mc;pEta, artipyrine Pile
uacat.u--tlr shameful list grows NJ
most daily the feet remains that the
highest mental ana moral principles
of the drug hab'ue are slowly under
mined and dragged down to the dust.
The responsibilities Of the medical
practitioner in prescribing these potent
remedies are. therefore, very consider
abe, while those OF tic dispensing
chemist are hardly London Mcdi-
Cct Pres,
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
The nrir,nnn snhonettc.

The name silhouette was derived
from Tticnnc de silhouette, n French
minister Of finance in 1859 who intro
duced several parsimonious fashions
during his administration called la
Silhouette. name which continued to
be applied to the black profile portraits.
Silhouettes were executed in various
ways.
one Of the simplest is that of tracing
the outlines Of a shadows profile
thrown on a sheet Of paper and then
reducing t1cm to the required size Ell
thcr by the eye or 10y means of pan
tograph. The camera Obscura and cam
era lucida are also occasionally used
for the purpose.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
n IiIIaIIr tnnrlIrSr.

An old farmer, am elder of the KIRK
and n strict Sabbatar.an. was especially
severe upon Jock for his shortcomings,
aud that worthy. WHO had his doubts
as to the elders godiincss, determined
to get even with him upon the first op
portunity. Jock was as skillful an an
gler as he was poacher, and upon cne
occasion, having captured an extra
large basket of trout, he resolved to
present u portion of the catch to the
elder. The gift having been duly ac-
cepted, the willy Jock remarked casual
ly:
'But, elder, I clean forgot to tell ye
the fish were catched yesterday (Sun
day.
"Weel. John" returned the elder, gaz-
Ing steadily at the contents of the bas-
ket, Il dinna see that that was the faut
O. the troot."
Jock took his departure, sadder and
wiser. London TitRits.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

AND On n = =, CON .,,S' ., sl,.lr-5 S,s ie %"
.,
pu' P'-''S E'''9 e'''' ,''-'' -
10 'A''' J. ..U>' ",'o'-.l '''L'--- e'' = =
even S''l" l''"' 'i''- e." '''.>e 49,
IA 1e'sI''5 o"N'i'' - I-'''l 4i'.'o-
la" Ie,e', Cu - mum '-'S'''''.' ''''-1
h'r "rLiH',- ~ .''''i's'' ''.''' y -, 80
~ -
mo- ''e '''' ''' W, ''I'
4. "a' ".l ""'S ~ S."" i''.' '',','.o.'
any lor u.s ""i. -o"d' ~ IS .ol''. i''l
TO std,' 'H'l Sie a.-4''i' lii7 "'"9
WIN t"s ".'"''S' --.' I'.'
"oD - N'''-..' I'D .''' '',.'.'. =
D-S I'''"n ~ .''7 1"'.'' Cur VIZ
ne was '"'H'' ''A t''- 70 '-'a''-oe 1''", 4
TO "e".' IL '-ei ".''' 7-1 " ~ n'-''S
as ,'A."'@ ~ 80" '.','@.' ''','i ..le
p'u'1! ",s',''' ''-'' I.>'. ",'' '.'''
nes 81 - lar - '.,', l..,.' "a 'i'e .. ~
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10
two ways of Seeing 4. Picture.

IN artist had sold q picture for an
tAvi b,t't'. Jlit', h'.N lH' purchaser
sued 20 recover Tie haristgr for the
purchaser was making The artist un-
comfortable 10y his questions.
Vow SIR" be sa d IN lhIt pleasant,
iu@latiatng manner cf lawyers with Il
witness, 90 You tnina am BODY could
see beauty ia that picture:'
"Some persons certainly could re
piled the artist
You think the initiated in technical
matters might have no difficulty in un-
dersiandlng your work.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1904-03-10

" EdgyS J
Pullman Pa-lOU Sc
through trains bcfwC
and Brio between >
8rl Washington and
burg and the " est
For lurNh her informant.
". W ATTERBCR4
Geul Manager
GEO. w BOYD, GeI