Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1904-05-20
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Bell boy (OuCSlue OI ToOu oo)-oays
the gas is escaping in there. Country
man Gnside of room 55)-No, it amt;
l locked the door.-Ex.
Mother-Johnny Jones, did you get
that awful cold out skating? Son
Mother, l think l caught 1t washing
my face yesterday morning.-Judge.
Chumply-I don't know whether I
ought to take your daughter from her
fathers roof Her Father-She doesn't
live on the philadelphia Bulle-
tin.
II say, Broomv "Call me by my
whole name, If you please. 1t has a
handle to it, and it was meant to be
used, SIR" "That's so. Well, Broom
handle, how are your
Curioso-Your name is Ephraim, is
it? How'd your parents come to give
you that name? Modestus-I don't
know for certain, but suspect it was
because / was boy.-Boston Tran
script.
"Women claim that the way to get
on with a man is to give him plenty
Of nicely cooked food" "Well," an.
swered Sirius Barker, irritably, "why
don't some Of them try it?'-Washing.
ton Star.
A Great Debt: Bragg-I owe moth.
ing to any man. Newitt-Oh, yes, you
do. Bragg-No, sir! Newitt-Oh, yes.
You owe an apology to every man who
has to listen to you blow.-Philadel.
phia Press.
Improvement at the Gas Office: "Did
you have any luck when you went to
complain about the gas bill?" Better
luck than last month";" answered Mr..
Meekton; "the man didn't laugh this
time."-Ex.
Funny about Ralston wanting his
former wife to get a divorce from her
second husband SO that they might get
married again." mot very. He's al.
ways been falling in love with other
mems wives."-Ex.
Daily Guide to Flattery: II there is
something on the table that the
hostess knows is so badly cooked that
she feels bored about it, ask for more
and eat It with the greatest apparent
relish.-Baltimore American.
Have you any taste for Thacke.
ray" asked Mrs. Oldcastle. mo, I
can't say that l have" replied her
hostess; "is that anything like this
paprika they're putin in everything
now"-Chicago Record Herald.
What he Would Rather Have Ex.
pressed Differently: Gushing Lady
Oh, but Mr.. Jones, l should love to be
Deautful-even If for only half an
hour! Jones-Yes; but you wouldn't
like the coming back again!-Punch.
Conductor-All aboard! Please get
aboard quickly, Miss; the train is
about to start. Young Lady-But I
wish to kiss my sister good-by. Con-
ductor-Get aboard, get aboard: I'll
attend to that for you.-Yale Record.
How to Hold Actors: at alwav,
makes me mad to talk to an actor. He
pretends to listen politely, but his at.
tention Is wandering all the time. Ever
notice 1t" mo. l always talk to
them about themselves. es."-Pbiladel.
pbia Ledger.
Owner Of Fishpond Ito man who ia
trespassing)-Don't you see that sign.
NO fishing here? Angler-Yes. and
L dispute 1t. Why. there's good fish.
Ing mere. Look at this basketful. The
man must have been mad who put
that board up.
Choily-A fellow told me to-day that
l didn't know enough to 20 in when II
rained. Miss Sharp-And what d,d
you sayF Cholly-I ASSUMED him II
was quite unnecessary, doncher know
because nevah 90 out when II roins
Philadelphia Ledger.
II was only five years ago that
started In with our firm at five dollars
week. said Bragg, land now I earn
nIty week without any trouble"
Ihats 30; it's easy to earn that" ro.
phed hewitt, but how much do you
getr-Philadelphia Press.
lda-1 don't believe Mr.. Smart be-
neVes my handkerchiefs are linen
May-Why notf Ida-I told him
had my pin money wrapped in INV
handkerchief and lost It. He said
there was a great deal of money Loaf
In cotton these days.-Chicago New.
Fond Mother-I don't know what %
90. l want to send my daughter 70
eoIege' and yet don't want to send
IN n