davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

How the Fun Makers of 81 Century
Ago Treated Friend and FOe-Queer
COnceits of the CartOOnists - The
Famous FIOtiIIa.
Our British cousins are just now Gel
ebrating in a humorous way the CEN
tenary of the intended invasion Of
their tight little isle by Napoleon 1. in
1904. The celebration, if such it may
be called, consists mainly in the re-
publication of the numerous carica-
lures and cartoons of the great Corsi-
can, his army and fleet, which ap-
peared in the public prints of that
time.
While the British cartoons of 1903
OF would lead one to think that Napo-
leon was held in contempt and as fit
subject for laughter and SOOTHING, the
invasion planned was serious enough,
and there is no doubt that the prepa-
rationS for it caused much alarm in
England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales.
In the rural districts of England the
enthusiasm was prOdigious, and coun-
try yokels were drilled with axes and
pitchforkS "a fact that did not escape
the cartoonists, who made the most
of it,, and old guns which had not seen
the light for years were furnished up
pending the arrival of supplies Of
arms, for which subscriptions poured
into the hands of local treasurerS.
There was fear that some fine morn
ing the tramp of the Frenchmen might
be heard, and 10 guard against sur
priseS beacOns with which TO fash the
call to arms We're established on every
headland and hilltop. False alarms
were not uncommon, and many an
amusing tale is told OF yeOmen. swell
ing with patriotism, marching forth to
meet a foe that never came.
So great was the excitement that the
whole country became an armed camp.
Citizens strobe about with musketS on
their shoulders, professors and stu
dents paraded on college campuses,
and side arms We're worn by judges
and members of the bar.
In France, where the lust for con-
quest was rampant, the enthusiasm
was intense. Veterans of many cam
paigns and conscripts from workshop
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
She Shut.

a story is told of Count Schouvaloff,
a former Russian ambassador to Eng
land. He greatly admired Englishwo-
men and was heartily annoyed when
he offended any one of them. While
he was in London he learned English,
and, having heard one famous English
beauty say shut up" to another. he
imagined it TO be a phrase of polite
agreement, such as Say no more" In
this sense he himself addressed it to
an illustrious lady the next night at
dinner, to the Iady's CONSERVATION. and
his own when later he discovered his
mistake
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
THE CAPTAIN AT HIS POST ON THE BRIDGE


employed in the steering of the vessel.
one of them being constantly engaged
in this work, with the assistance of the
QuartermasterS.
Then a number of petty officers is to
be noted in the deck department such
as the quartermaSterS. who perform the
actual work of steering the ship; the
chief boatswain and his assistants, who
look after the rigging and deck equip
ment, and the carpenter, who is respon-
Sible for the good order of the sparS,
boats, water tanks and decks and who
inspects these and also the masts. yards
and pumps twice each day. Besides
these officers, there are the ordinary
seamen, who perform all sorts of du-
ties, from working the deck machinery
10 scrubbing the decks and rails to
keep them in shining order. Altogether
from forty to fifty men are employed
in the deck department.
At the head of the engine department
is the chief engineer. who has as as
sistant officers what are known as first
second and third engineers. Next 10
the captains post the chief engineers
is the most responsible station in the
operation of the liner. and the engineer
has under him u great number of work
ers-the trimmers. who bring the coai
from the bunkers to the fire rooms; the
stokers, who feed it into the always
hungry furnaces, and the greasers, who
keep the engine parts clean and well
oiled. There are also n number of
men who look after the pumps. the
blowers and the electrical plant, which
is under the chief engineers super
vision.
In the passenger department there
are two very important officers. one of
these being the purser, the man with
whom the passengers come into con
tact most frequently and who is large
" responsible for the popularity or IN
popularity Of the ship
The Other principal officer in this de-
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

In the northern Shan states. on the
border of Burma, there is a tribe called
the Wild Was. These people propitiate
with human skulls the demons whom
they worship. Outside every village in
their country there are many posts. all
in one line, decked with human skulls.
\ niche is cut in the back of each post
with Il ledge on which the skull can
rest and grin through a hole in front
Of it. Every village has a dozen and
some as many as a hundred of these
head posts. Fresh skulls are in special
request at harvest time and are pur-
chased for large sums, those of distin-
guished visitors being particularly de-
sired.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
WHY WINE FIRST TO HOST.
In America n Mere FOrmality, but In
Italy a Real Necessity.


The wine was opened deXtrously by
the waiter. who before serving the
guests poured a few drops into the
hosts glass.
why did this waiter give you q lit
tie wine before helping the rest of us?"
asked a man of curious mind.
oh" said the host, that's always
DONE
Il know it's always done. That does
not answer my question, though. Here,
waiter" the man persisted, you tell
me. why when you open a bottle Of
wine you pour a few drops into the
hosts glass before serving the guests"
The waiter smiled and answered:
It's a matter of form. sir; an old
custom, politeness. Its origin lies in
the fact that after the removal of the
cork there might be left in the neck OF
the bottle a little dust or a few specks
of cork. The first drops poured out
would in that event contain the dust or
the cork, and thus the guest were he
served first might get this refuse; hence
the host is given the first drops.
"AS a matter of fact, if you know
how TO open wine you have no difficulty
in keeping the bottles neck clean. The
custom, therefore, is Il formality in
America. In Italy. though. it is a real
necessity, for over there they pour a
little oil in the neckS of their bottles of
native wine before corking on the
ground that this makes the wine air
tight. No doubt it does. but it also in
some cases gives to the first glass from
the bottle decidedly oily flavor. There
fore the first glass the host CALAMITY
takes" Record
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

The Captain Vested With Absolute
Power Over Passengers and Crew,
Responsibilities of the Chief En-
gineer-A Floating City.
One of the most remarkable things
about the modern ocean liner is the
fact that while 1T sea she gives en-
pIoyment to between 500 and 500 peo-
pie. 1t might seem incredible that
any vessel, even one capable of carry
ing from 100 to 1000 passengers,
could keep so many men occupied, but
it is true that a full count of the Off
GERS and crew on any one of the mod
ern Atlantic steamships will give at
least the former figure, while on the
biggest and most famous ships, such
as the Oceanic. Cedric and St. Louis, it
falls not far short of the latter.
To begin with the organization of
the ships company from the top, there
is first of all the captain. He is the
absolute master of the ship and of all
on board, with direct responsibility for
her safety to her owners and to the
travelling public at large. He has con-
troll of the ships navigation and of
her internal affairs as well, and he is
privileged to clap a member of the
crew or a passenger who does not be-
have himself into irons if he deems it
necessary. Perhaps nowhere else can
one find an example of such absolute
and despotic power as the ship captain
may WELD if occasion requires.
Under the captain the administration
of the big vessel is divided among three
departments. The first of these is the
deck department, which has charge of
the navigation of the vessel; the second
is the engineers department, devoted to
operating the boilers and engines, the
power producing branch of the steam
ship; the third is the passenger depart
ment, presided over by the purser and
the chief steward and having for its
chief function to look after the COM
fort of the travellers for whom the
great ship and her elaborate staff
primarily exist
In the deck department are various
officers, usually the chief officer or first
officer. second and junior second, third
and junior or third officers. The chief
officer is the captains assistant He
relieves the latter on the bridge, takes
his place in the daily inspection of the
ship and has charge particularly over
the cleanliness of the ship, seeing to it
that every part is in spick and span
order. The second officers take turns at
standing watch on the bridge and su-
the decks, while the jun
ior officers, as the thirds are called, are
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

in the modes of the moment, with
perfect sense of proportion and beauty.
Devotees of fashion are supposed to
be reveling in modistic simplicity, but
it is about the most expensive example
of the simple dress" the coutouriere
can devise or the clients pocketbook
withstand.
Along the lines of up to date sim
plicity comes the gown shown in the
illustration. This elegant creation is
of oyster white satin, princess in eff
feet.
The entire gown over the satin fOun-
dalton is made up of inset pieces Of
tucked satin connected with herring
bone stitch done in heavy white Gre
clan floss. To bias folds of satin are
attached long silk fringes which at in
tervaIS ornament both skirt and waist.
A dress of this design could be hap
PLY carried out in one of the dainty
shades of pastel wolfe and trimmed
with the fashionable macrame fringe
so much used at present.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
Novel Test In Hypnoffsm.

\ curious experiment was made one
afternoon recently at the Opera Co
mique, in Paris. on a hypnotic subject
Of an exceptional type who during a
hypnotic state was extremely sensi-
tive TO the sound of musical instru-
ments and the human voice. says the
Chicago Tribune. He appeared on the
stage and when the music commenced
began to make gestures. following the
rhythm in the most graceful manner.
\ song by Miss Garden caused the sub
ject TO balance his head as If waving
his hair
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
MARYLAND'S NEW SENATOR.
IsidOr Rayner, Who Was Counsel For
Rear Admiral Schley.

Isidor Rayner, who has just been
elected United States senator from
Maryland TO succeed Senator Louis E.
McCOmas, the present incumbent. is one
of the most famous lawyers of the
state and an orator of renOwn.
Senator Rayner is best known to the
country at large as Rear Admiral
Schley's counsel during the investiga-
ton in 1901 of that officers conduct in
the Spanish war. Born in Baltimore in
1850, he was educated at the University
of Virginia, in 1871 was admitted to the
bar and for many years has been a
prominent figure in public life.
Mr.. Rayner soon became known in his
native city as a brilliant lawyer He
was elected in 1878 to the legislature.
where the announcement that he would
speak always filed the galleries during
the one term that he serveda,In 1856 he
was elected 10 congress- and was twice
reelected. He declinetfto serve fourth
term and after having played n con-
spicuous part during the six years Of
his service retired in 1892. Seven years
later he was elected attorney general of
Maryland
In August, 1901, Admiral Schley
asked Mr.. Rayner to represent him at
the naval inquiry arising out of. the
Sampson-Schley controversy. and Ray
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
NAPOLEON IN 1904 AND AS THE BRITISH
CARICATURIST SAW HIM.

NAPOLEON IN 1904 AND AS THE BRITISH
CARICATURIST SAW HIM,
and farm were gathered in the great
camp at and near BOulOgne 10 the num-
Der of 10000. But to ferry the army
across the channel was the difficulty.
Once landed in England. Napoleon
might have entered London, but that
strip of water proved an insuperable
obstacle.
In every port of France and Holland
the building of transports was pushed.
These were of various sizes, from YES
sells carrying thirty-eight sailors and
$50 soldiers to small boats intended to
hold five sailors and from fifty TO sixty
soldiers. Napoleon said that 1000 of
these craft would be required. but that
number was never reached. although q
great flotilla was gathered. So numer-
Gus were the vessels that it had been
necessary to enlarge and deepen many
of the French harbors TO accommodate
them. Then it was discovered that it
would be impossible to get all of the
boats to sea on one tide. Half of theN
great army would be forced to wait
outside in their unstable boats for
twelve hours before it could be joined
by the other half. This was altogether
too perilous an undertaking. and the
projected invasion came to naught
But all this gave tie British cartoon
lists their opportunity. and they made
the most of it. One of them pictured
the army crossing the channel on a
great raft. Another pictured Napoleon
entering London seated on a horse.
"a. In IN
by the Honorable Artillery company.
John Bull and the pitchfOrk armed
yeomanry also excited the humOr Of
the artists. for they were impartial
with their favors and struck friend as
well as foe.
Napoleon's proposed invasion Of Eng.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

A distinguished contractor who was
heaping abuse upon the treasury de
partment because it had not seen lit TO
renew a contract which he had held
for years called on Secretary Shaw a
short time ago and, after failing 10 get
n reconsideration of his proposal. aired
his grievance TO a group of newspaper
men. SAYS the New York Tribune.
Secretary Shaw smiled when he was
told what the ex-contractor had said
1bout him and the department. 1t
seems to be little hard to wean him"
said the secretary. He doesn't seem
TO be able TO get enough. He is I'M
like young country fellow l heard OF
once who was converted at Il camp
meeting. He was not accustomed TO
speaking, but was so happy over his
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
--lA- MIND WANDERING.
Features of n Disease Discovered by
Chicago University President.

Cn1cnSO L university RreSl0enI.
4 new disease has been discovered
by President Harper of the University
of Chicago. The disease is that of
mind wandering" and it was brought
to the attention of the students of the
junior college the other day in a lee
ture by the president, says a Chicago
dispatch.
-Four men and four women" said
DIR. Harper, from among the number
of students at the university have been
afflicted with this disorder and have
had to leave college. The prime symp-
tom of the disease is lack of ability to
concentrate fhe mind on any subject"
President Harper went on to say that
those who have been compelled to drop
their work were unable to give i lucid
account of what they had been reading
after ten minutes attention to certain
book Overstudy was suggested as one
possible cause of the malady, while an
other possibility mentioned was too
much work on subjects in which the
student could not take an interest.
Long and systematic perusal of certain
lines of work which are especially in
teresting was suggested as possible
CI1rp
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
HE WON THE AUDIENCE.
The Way Fred Douglass Got the Best
of Captain Rynders.

NJ why OOt the beSI
of Captain Rynders.
The ineXhauStible sense of humor in
Frederick Douglass kept him clear of
any sense of gloom, as was never bet
ter seen than on the once famous oc-
casion when the notorious Isaiah Ryn-
ders of New York. at the head of a
mob, had interrupted an antislavery
meeting, captured the platform, placed
himself in the chair and hidden the
meeting proceed. Douglass was speak
ing and, nothing loath, made his speech
only keener and keener for the inter
ference, weaving around the would be
chairman's head a wreath of delicate
sarcasm which carried the audience
with it. while the duller wits of the
burly despOt could hardly follow him.
Knowing only in a general way that he
was being dissected, Rynders at last
exclaimed. What you abOlitiOnistS
want to do is to cut all our thrOats"
"Oh, no." replied Douglass in his most
dulcet tones; I'VE would only cut your
hair" And, bending over the shaggy
and frowZy head of the Bowery tyrant,
he gave a suggestive motion as of scis-
sors to his thumb and fOrefinger with
a professional politeness that instantly
brought down the house. friend and
foe. while Rynders quilted the chair in
wrath and the meeting dissolved itself
amid general laughter. 1t was a more
cheerful conclusion perhaps than that
stormier one-not unknown in reforma-
tory conventions-with which Shake
speare so often ends his scenes. Eek
cunt fighting - Thomas Wentworth
HigginSon in Atlantic.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
PLAYED IN Organ.

The little daughter of well known
New York musician was much cha
grined the other day by the ingenious
remark Of new friend" Said the
little girl proudly:
My father is an organist"
And does he have monkey?'' was
the prompt rejoinder
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
War Dance Dust. cakewa1k In Pari.

The cakewalk a Ia Franchise is no
longer the rage in Paris. says the New
York World. 1t has given way 10 an
other North American travesty. This
time the Kickapoo Indian reigns in
fashionable salons. Possibly no one
would he more surprised than the red
skins at the edition of their war dance
which IS served up to the Parisians in
buckskin. frinGes and feathers. 1t is
full of graceful sinuosities and fetch
ing poses and is altogether a far cry
from the strenuous original
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
A Parallel

An old farmer said to his sons: Boys,
don't you wait for somethif' to turn
up. You might jest as well go and sit
down on a stone in the middle OF a
meadow with a pail 'twixt your legs
and wait for COW to back up to you
to be MIXED"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

land Is now buta memory. and If It
served no other purpose than to stir
up the wits it certainly added to the
gayety of nations in that respect. Eng
land and France are now good friends
and can afford TO laugh together at the
war which never took place.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

partment is tie chief steward, who ex-
ercises authority over a small army of
stateroom stewards. saloon Stewards
stewardesses, cooks, solutions, store
keepers and bootblacks. and who Sc
lects the food and makes out the menus
for the meals.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
Novelty Excited CurIosity.

Owtlaight-I had an awful time
thinking up an excuse TO give my wife
when 1 got home from the club last
night
Lushman-Did she demand one?
Owtlaight-Of course. / got home so
early that it piqued her curiosity.-Ex-
change.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

conversion that he felt lie must tes-
tify.
after struggling to his feet he tried
TO think of something appropriate.
Finally he stammered: I'm so happy
/ don't know how to-I'm so happy.
1 feel so good. l feel just like a calf
that's suckin' two cows"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
Where Three Il. a crowd.

Toni suppose you spent a pleasant
evening with your best girl.
Dick-Pleasant? Huh, \ fellow can't
make love TO his girl IN crowd
Tom-Oh, was there a crowd there?
Dick-Yes. and the chunp didn't have
sense enough TO realize that he wasn't
wanted.-Chicago. Tribune.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
AN ELEGANT CREATION.
White Satin Gown Ornamcnted With
SiIken FrThEes.

The gowns of today have certainly
reached the height of all their sartorial
greatness and glory. Extravaganza,
picturesqueness and grace are blended
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13
One sweetIy Pleasant Thought.

Georgiana-We are not old.
Juliana-Oh, yes. we are. my dear.
GeorgiaDa - Well, we are just as
young as any girls Of our age In town.
indianapolis Journal.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

He-Won't you let me give you just
one kiss before / go:
She-Will just one satisfy you?
He-Yes, darling.
She-Then 1 won't give it to you
Standard
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

People who have grown apprehensive
lest the White House entertainments
were losing their true democratic char
acter were relieved of all fear at re
cent reception which was given by the
president and Mrs. Roosevelt in honor
of the congress of the United States,
says the New York Tribune.
Senator Cockrell. the venerable
statesman from Missouri. was among
the guests. AS he was ascending the
marble stairway which leads To the
main floor some one called his atten-
ton to the fact that he had forgotten
to remove his overshOes. Not wishing
TO lose his place in the line. the senator
promptly extricated himself from his
ample gOloshes. set them to one side,
placed his calling card in one and
went on.
Throughout the evening guests as
cending and descending the beautiful
stairway viewed with surprise and
amusement the conspicuous gum shoes.
They were of generous proportions,
and as they repOsed on the snow white
marble they bore mute but eloquent
testimony that true Jeffersonian SIM
plicity has not totally disappeared in
the nations capital.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

1t is said that the people of New
Britain have a peculiar custom of con
timing their girls in cages until they
reach maria geable age. These cages
are built of wood cut from the palm
tree and are inside the rude houses.
Outside each house is a fence of wick
erwork made of reeds. The girls are
Gagged at the age OF two or three and
are never allowed to so out OF the
house. yet they seem strong and
healthy.
Some people pick their company-to
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

Some people pick their company-to
pieces. -Schoolmaster.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1904-02-13

Representative John Sharp Williams,
the leader of the minority in the house,
is absentminded. Mrs. Williams joined
him after congress met. Representa-
tive Williams was in great haste one
morning to attend a committee meet
ing and without waiting for breakfast
hurried up to the capitol. says the New
York Worlds Washington correspond
ent.
"B-r-r-r-r-rr' rang the telephone from
the Williams apartment shortly after
Mr.. Williams departure.
what is it," asked the young wom-
an at the telephone central.
'"Please have some one come up and
unlock my door" Mrs. Williams said.
whats the matter?" asked the lock-
smith when he arrived.
MY husband forgot l was here and
locked the door," Mrs. Williams ex-
planned.