Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1904-04-05
Couldn't Lose the Dollar.

was AFRAID 70 try 10 pass ~ ueisoh ou'
she insisted that it was my duty to
take the dollar and get rid of it. All
endeavors to relieve myself of the burden
only resulted in failure.
Zone rainy evening boarded north
bound car on my way home, and when l
began to search in my pockets for car
fare found to my dismay that with the
exception of the counterfeit dollar was
absolutely penniless. This reduced me
to painful choice. Either l would
have to play upon the credulity of the
conductor and shift upon him the weight
of my counterfeit dollar or would have
to walk four miles through the driving
rain. 1t took but moment to decide
which l would do.
when he did appear held out my
dollar with as much Indifference as
could muster. AS the conductor took
the money from my hand / looked at
him furtively. One glance was sufficient
to assure me that at last had found an
opportunity to dispose of my green
goods sample. He barely glanced at
the coin as handed it to him, slipped it
into his pocket and counted out 95 cents
in change.
"A little further on three or more pas
sengers crowded into the car at the front
door and presently the conductor started
through on another collecting tour. He
was quite long while and at last l
could make out above the murmur of
the voices of the peacefully inclined pas.
sengers that an alteration of some kind
was going on at the front end of the car.
When the conductor came back to the
rear platform he was pale with anger.
Somehow the very sight of his disturbed
countenance made me tremble with ap-
prehension.
"What was the matter in there?" l
asked anxiously.
go, a row with some women, as
usual he said. My, what tricky lot
they are! That one was a tartar. She
tried to palm off counterfeit dollar on
me, but / caught her in the trick and
got back at her all right
"'What did you do?' l asked.
"'Do?' he echoed. why l made her
take it back, of course. l had quite
tussle to get her to do it, though. She
lied up hill and down dale and swore by
all that was good that she didn't give me
the dollar. But, pshaw! she couldn't
fool me. | amt been street car con-
ductor for fifteen years for nothing, |
amt. The woman had "cheat" written
in capital letters all over her. 1t takes
pretty clever sharper to work off any of
his tricks on me, can tell YOU
"As the conductor rambled on | felt
the cold perspiration oozing out of every
pore in my body. | never felt quite so
well equipped for the role of heavy viii
lain as / did at that moment, but put
on an air of bravado and said, That's
right. You can never tell when to trust
a woman. Now, man would never
think of STOPPING to such despicable
trickery.'
at was dark and the rain was patter-
ing down at a pretty lively rate when
stepped off the car at Doth Street
Standing in the shadow of little build
ing on the corner was woman who had
evidently got off the front end of the car
\ had just come up on. She carried
several packages and was struggling to
manage them and her umbrella and hold
up her skirts at the same time; impelled
by sense of gallantry l fastened for
ward and offered my assistance. The
woman looked up when spoke, and l
saw that for a change was trying to be
polite to my own wife. Her eyes were
red and her lips were all aquiver and it
was plain that she was on the verge of a
protracted fit of crying.
"'Great Scott, Jennie said. What
on earth is the matter? What do you
mean by making such show of your
self here in the street?'
"She began to sob aloud at that. ID
d-did you c-come up on that c-c-carT'
she blubbered.
Eyes said |.
"'Well', she said, Il wish had known
you were b-b-back there. I'd have made
you thrash that conductor g-good and
hard
"'Why, what's the matter?' l asked.
What did he do?'
"'What did he d-d-do?' she sobbed.
He m-m-made me take counterfeit d.
ld-dollar, that's what he did. / paid my
fare with dollar and ju-j-just as g-g-
good dollar as ever was c-c-coined, but
when the conductor went 10 change a
two d-d-dollar bill for some old lady
who sat next to me, he found that he had
a counterfeit dollar and he swore up and
down that gave it to him.
"'He even went so far as to say he
could p prove ii, and he was so posi-
tive about il and made such fuss and
got everybody to staring at me so hard
that lost my head and my nerve COM
pletely, so gave in and said, Well, may
be did make a mistake, and then took
the counterfeit dollar and gave him back
o. cents change he had given me, and a
nickel besides. suppose IL hadn't
been SO flustered | could have fought
the thing through, but hate scene so
that actually didn't have the courage
TO stand up for my rights. So here l am
out good dollar with another counter
felt dollar on my hands. You'd better
take 1t, Donald. Maybe you can pass it
somewhere tomorrow like you did the
other one. You didn't have any trouble
getting rid of that, did you? Well, why
don't you take it?' she demanded, MOTTO
ing my unwillingness to relieve her of
the dollar. why do you stand there
looking at me like that? Why don't you
say something's
but | was mute as an oyster. l had
nothing to Say."-New York Sun.