The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-25
THE N0HPAREJLa MAN
Evolutionary Study of the Developments
Of American Humor from 1904 Down to
the Present Day-careful Study Of the
File Of Old Aimanacs in the Archives Of
a Historical Society 1a

witty remarks and humorous anecdotes
The words which are supposed to contain
the point Of the joke are printed In italics.
For the still better information of the
reader, the most highly favored produce
lions are printed under the head line
very Funny In this way our great
could hardly avoid knowing
what they were doing when they read
the articles. A few Of the Very Funny
things Of 1904 are reprinted there to show
how, much superior a class of .bumor, is
now served out to the American public,
'In, a newly raised corps, a soldier late
ly observed to his comrade, who was an
Irishman, that a, corporal was to be dis
missed from his regiment Faith and in
deed said the Irishman. hope 1t is the
corporal who is SO troublesome in our
company What is his name?' asked
the other. why. corporal punishment to
be sure replied Pat -
"A. person who could not read a syllabIs
took, up a, newspaper in a New York coffee
house, and, holding it upside down, pre-
TENDED to peruse the. ship advertisements
on the first page with great attention.
What news?' inquired a bystander.
There has been a great storm in the West
Indies,' replied the reader. The vessels
are all upset ~: .
I, "a country squire asked a Merry An
drew why he was playing the fool For
the same reason you do, said her .out of
want You do it. for want Of wit, for
want of money
"a professor, lecturing on heat, OBJ
served that one of it's most conspicuous
properties was the power Of expanding all
bodies. A humorous student rose in his
seat and asked: rs that the reason tho
days in warm weather are longer than
those in cold?'''
1t will be seen by the acute reader thar
some of these old boys are still doing duty
in the pun of to-day. -
Coming down to 1884. the brand of
humor begins to improve in flavor. Here
are two Of the best from the almanac Of
that memorable year:
=, AS a. broker, was folding some bank
bills, a wag observed: You must grow
rich fast perceive you readily double
your money" =
'*When MI Alexander Gun was dis
charged from the Edinburgh custom
house, the entry made against his name
was "A Gun, discharged for making a
= And so on, down to the present day
and to Minneapolis, where the local hui
morists are now putting out the best
the money they are getting.
The lady who: wrote .ttMrs. Wigs and
the Tobacco Patch has just bought q
$4,000 house in Louisville.
P. $40 mortgage.
The Eddyville; Gowa) Tribune tells OF q
new song that is running "Bedelia" a
close second. TT begins: -sGr
Why did you dent the custard pie
| With old pussy cat?
| That is, enough.
| We have feared this for several days.
WI. MCGEE Of the anthropologicaI de-
partment of the, worlds fair, tells the st.
Louis Post-Dispatch.s that the japanese
brain is larger In proportion to the body
than that of any other race His head is
| mesaticephalic for the most part, with
tendency to brachycephaly in the gross
types, and autobiography in the fine type.
We do not know exactly what these are
but they sound to us ia tai.
The coal club in the east says that
prices will drop about soc or 75t on April
1. What wonderful foreknowledge!
7 There are run1ors that automobile
trains" will be the thing next summer.
Our good roads out here won't do thing
to them.
King Solomon, the clairvoyant, is locked
UP for trying to shoot his wife. a man
ought not to. shoot his wife. 1t Is wrong.
Only eleven or twelve more weeks Of
the glorious old winter! Make the most
of it while 1t lasts.
t"rhe trouble was,'' said the airship man
as they came along with a caseknife and
|'tenderly scraped him up and placed him in
the ambulance, shat the scenery flew up
and hit u.s.
When two girls of 16 meet, the sub
dued chorus Of "And he said1''
I said' that goes up makes an old man Of
55 feel that he is way out Of the race
I If the city would sink an artesian we'll
in every schoolhouse yard, a we'll similar
| to the Bryn Mawr we'll. it would not only
accommodate the children but about every
family in the city. It would, however,
interfere with the profits of the water
companies. hence it will not be done,
F. Five acres of land near Central Islip,
Long Island. has been bought for. a cerne-
terry for dogs. Mrs. r. A. ST. Maur Stew
ems of West Hoboken. N. J.. is at the head
/ Of the enterprise. There will be costly
mausoleums, granite monoliths. marble
slabs. clustering vines, trellised rose
bushes and violet beds. When the frail
clark of West Hoboken and vicinity sets
out on the tide of time, it will be we'll
cared for.
! But 1t seems to an observer on the out
side that nonolitlis marble slabs, .trelHsed
rose bushes and, Niolets are not exactly in
keeping with a dog cemetery. We should
he more favorable to fine marble bone
set on end with the inscription: 'fFido Has
| Gnawed the Golden Bone However, we
do not wish to insist on this idea.