The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-02-28
Husband
and Wife.


W late on the topic OF what makes
for matrimonial happiness or IN
happiness. and have an argument 70
advance upon the subject. to this ef-
feet: That the arts Of personal agree
ability, practiced along the simplest
lines, but with a faithful persistence.
count tremendously for content in the
contugal relation
The modern marriage is most fre-
quentIy a failure. ]. believe, not for the
thousand and one reasons assigned
therefor. Husbands as rule are hard
workers. are sober. generous souls and
not niggardly in their allowance Of pin
money. The wives I have known were
not frivolous, foolish, meddlesome, nor
extTaVagant They do not serve under
done biscuits for breakfast. run up
staggering bills at the milliners, nor
neglect their children.
The cause Of their discomfort in we'd
lock Is chiefly due to the Vaccinations
of that famous and familiar family
ghost who walks the divorce courts un-
der q variety Of more sinister names
than incompatibility of temper
But whatever guises he may assume,
when ne Tattles his uncomfortable
bones ia public you may be pretty sure
that as plain old Incompatibility ne
made his debut in that domestic closet
where skeletons are hidden His ap-
pearance there is due first, last and at
81 times % the fact that men ana
their wives do not realize that it is
sweet civility, much more than the
far-famed sentiment of love, that
makes each little world Of family life
30 smoothly round.
The Matrimonial Manner.
Now should fearful wife or a hurry
husband come TO me for confidence or
counsel I would at once recommend
the quest of the ma trimOnial manner.
That is the prime essential 10 conju-
sal comfort and there is nothing he
role or difficult about it. Il is made
up Of little, easy sayings and doings
and facial expressions.
II consists of the small words Of
kindness and acts Of conciliatory con-
sideration engaged in by two persons
= who are bent upon rendering them
selves agreeable to each other.
It is habit acquired by the men
and women who do not keep their civil
tiles packed away in cotton wool and
only aired and exercised on what I
might call company occasions. The
good matrimonial manner is not an
affair of empty fOTmalities or an eX~
quisite politeness rendered to your nus
band or your wife in public only.
Neither does it necessitate grand sac
Tifces nor open demonstrations of de-
votion. Merely show your life's part
ner the courteous consideration that
YOU give for your good names sake to
every stranger whom you meet and do
not expect that the man you have
married or the woman who has taken
your name viii accept meekly from you
less careful and kindly treatment than
YOU accord the guest a your table or
your seats neighbor IN the street car.
DO not fan into sloyenly, selfish ways
in your home department, and if YOU
are a man. remember or try 10 learn
now th9t seeming trihes please and
Halter and hold a WOman's heart true
when SNOWY deeds and fiowery words
leave her unsatisfed. Thrifty folk, we
are told take care of their pennies
and the pounds take care OF them
selves. that axiom can be applied
forcefully to the domestic situation.
and II YOU show your wife the small
COurteSies rest assured she VIII believe
YOU capable OF every knightly deed.
When Love Flies Out of the Window.
I wish to paraphrase an ancient say
ing TO this effect; that love flies out at
The window only when discourtesy
comes In at the door / have had an
complication Of that truth very re-
Gently in the case of two wives whose
ways in wediock seem 70 have been
StTeWu with thorns-
The first lady in the case married
man of her own age and choice. and
what with health and wealth. and
youth and devotion, their partnership
promised to be prosperous in every
SCFse- But Il was not He was an
Exemplary man in many respects she
was capital h0usekeeper. and a de-
voted mother TO their child. After
three years, however. their alliance was
legally dissolved on the unpleasant plea
of desertiou and uon-supPort.
We. their friends, knew that all
would have gone WeU, from the bridal
day 10 the golden anniversary, bad
rot the old spectre Of iucompatibility
risen between them and banished thei
affection. What evoked the hateful
ghost was the husbands unhappy dis
regard of the sweet social family
amenities.
He came home late and tired from his
Office, and because the lady at the
head of his home was his wife he felt
TriviIeged TO take liberties with her
that not one OF his friends would have
borne. His nabit was TO sit in SriI4
silence az the head Of the table, OF
answer her queries with grunts ami
fronosyIlabIes. II the soup was not 10
hi, taste or the lamp Smelled uupleas-
auuy. his criticisms were expressed in
phrases ne would not have dared offer
10 the independent cook or waitress
When dinner was over he preferred
IS cigar and his paper to her CONVEX
sation. he thought 1t too much trouble
GO freshen his toilet If she was MS
only companion at home dinner. and
while he would have readily plunged
Unto roaring flames TO rescue his wife
end child re could not or would not re-
member TO be decently civil and cheer
ful in the family circle, and 20 his
Great amazement he aWOke 90 md that
loye had flown out Of the window
4 Shining Contrast.
The husband of the other woman.
having cen United a deed that fastened
UPON him both opprohrium AID pow
ertv found that his wife chung 10 him
with tenderness, shared his exile joy
fully, and never mumured at their
radical change IN material ana social
circUmst 8uces.
she loved and stood by him 10 the
end and the cause therefor was not
far 10 seek. He had never been too
busy. too tired. TOO I'll, or too harassed
10 show her the courtesy that dis
armed criticism. He had what 1 cali
a beautiful m 3trimonial manE@r. He
would come nome from his Office 90
receive her welcome and give her greet
inv with the air of one who meets an
agreeable friend. From the foot of the
rahIa 40 listened ia her pFrrffa with