davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
PERSONAL.

Rev. Guy P. Burleson was recently
ordained pastor of the Episcopal
Church in Langdon, N. D. He is the
youngest of five brothers to enter the
ministry, the other four being present
at his ordination. The brothers are
Rev. Allan Burleson, Santa Clara, CAL;
Rev. H. L. Burleson, Fargo, N. D.;
Rev. Edward Burleson, jamestown, N.
D., and Rev. j. K. Burleson of Grand
Forks.
The Worlds Fair has served to
bring about reunion of seven broth
ers who last met in 1872 and for thir-
ty-two years have been scattered in
various parts of the country. They
are the Knowles brothers, snamely, ].
j. Knowles, 81 years old, of Bartles-
Vile, Ind; S. S. Knowles, Ga years old,
of Santiago, Cal; NJ. S. Knowles, so
years old, of Linden, Ok; T. S.
Knowles, "a years old, of Los Angeles,
Cal; b. M. Knowles of Greenwich,
Ill. The seven brothers held a reun-
ion at Petersburg, ILL.,, in 1872. They
scattered and not until a few days ago
did they see one another. Their father
was Asa Knowles of Gibson county,
Indiana.
DIR. William Lord Smith of Wor-
cester, Mass, graduate of Harvard,
sportsman and hunter of big game, is
headed for home, loaded down with
decorations from the grateful Mu-
zaffer-ed-D shah of Persia, whom he
cured of malarial disease which had
baffied native and foreign physician in
ordinary to the throne of Persia, but
it is not certain that ne will return
to the land of the shah and fill the po-
sition. DR.. Smith is ending a two
years tour of the world. Early in the
summer he arrived in Persia and as the
plague was raging there was quaran-
tined. But just then the shah was
taken i'll at Teheran and DR.. Smith
was summoned. A journey of 210 miles
to the palace on camel back across
the desert followed. After the shah
was cured he and his doctor went
hunting together and this cemented
their friendship.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
BRIGHT BITS.

whats Biffkins doing?" Taking
it easy" "Out of job?" "No-worl-
ing for the city."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
lis she lacking in tact as a host
ess?" as she lack in tact? She's the
kind that would ask Bishop Potter
to take Carrie Nation into dinner
Life.
e Pluribus Unum.-'I dropped in
at Citiiy's room last night" Room?
1 understood he had a fiat" 80 he
did, but he's taken all the partitions
down, ane now he has a real nice
room. philadelphia Ledger.
Ahead Of the Bunch-"Who was
the leading man in that company you
went CIt with last season." asked the
critic. II really forget" replied Lowe
Comerdy, but l was the leading man
coming back. l always was goo3
walker. "-Philadelphia Press.
The Only Thing They Could Do
"How did they ever come to send him
to the Legislature?" well, you see
they were prevented by technicality
from sending him to the penitentiary
and he showed no disposition to move
out of town. Chicago Record-Her-
aid.
Holy Thoughts.-'T wish was an
angel" little Johnny Blair astonished
his mother by exclaiming. Wonder
ing why holy thoughts were filling his
young mind. she waited for the rea-
son. Then l could fly up higher than
the fence and see all the ball games"
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
A Canning Finnncier.

There is a bookmaker over in Will
a writer in the Brooklyn Eagle. He
has a pretty regular customer who may
as we'll be called Jarvin. Last Tues
day Jarvin had a straight tip that the
horse Schoharie was the surest thing
ever. 1t didn't figure out that way in
the dope, but little bird-perhaps a
rail bird-had told Jarvin to go broke
on Schoharie, so he scraped up 5000,
took it to the track and scattered it
among the boOkies in a manner that
made him feel somewhat more than
$1,000 richer.
When the eighteen horses came out
for the first race Jarvin jingled the go
cents in silver which remained in his
trousers. He wasn't quite sure wheth-
er he would buy yacht or an automo-
bile with his winnings on Odoms
mount, but there was no question in
his mind that the money was his, OF
course, he would wait until after the
race had been run before demanding
the cash, but that was merely a mat
ter of form.
A few minutes later Darby's tele-
phone bell rang and the bookmaker
over in Williamsburg answered.
Hello Darby! This is Jarvin."
Hello Jarvin! What's up?"
Il want to put 5000 on First Mason
In the second race. Will you take it?"
Sure" said Darby. you're on"
"Good-by!"
The bookmaker heard the click of the
receiver as it was hung up at the other
end. He had intended to ask JarVin
where he. was, but it was now too late.
Yesterday morning Jarvin called on
Darby and received 1920 for First Ma
son had won at to 5.
where were you when you tele-
phoned yesterday" asked Darby.
Il was at the track" said Jarvin.
cat the track?" Why the deuce
didn't you place your bet there?
Wouldn't they take your money!"
Il didn't have any money" Jarvin
answered innocently. 81 bet my whole
wad on the first race and lost it.
had only 60 cents left"
WELL" said Darby, you've got a
check. What would you have done If
First Mason had lost 2"
81 dunno" Jarvin answered coolly. Il
suppose I'd have held you up for an
other bet on the next race. If you'd
have stood for it,"
This is Jarvin's first year of betting
on the ponies. 1t looks as if he were
made of the stuff that constitutes ulti-
mate winners.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
CAN THE CITY ED. wRITEs
From the New York Telegraph.

from tne new I DIX IelSBTdphs
Here we have the City Ed. What is
he doing? He is attaching tin CYL
inder to the man who tried to do Po-
lice. Does the man like this? No. He
had intended to climb to the topmoSt
Rung of Journalism. Who pushed him
off? The City Ed. pushed him off.
What else does the City Ed. do? He
takes nice blue pencil and scratches
out the graphic lines about the all
devouring flames that writhed like
Serpents." Then the story says that
the house burned down at 8 o'clock last
night. Then it is nice story, is it
not?
Can the City Ed. write? oh, yes.
When the new Reporter turns in a coll
umn story about a Runaway the City
Ed. writes him a note. Is it nice note?
No, it is not nice note.
The City Ed. is brave man. When
the ladies of the Church come to see
him about the story that the Reporter
got all wrong he faces them boldly.
1t is not easy to face these ladies bold
ly, but he knows no fear. When the
local Poetess gets into the wrong pew
and submits a poem on Eternity, he
reads it and says: THAT is very good
but the Democratic Convention is TAX
ing up all our Space"
Inc City 4IO. SW6dTS ana SMOKES all
the time. Is he not wicked, children?
When you grow up never be a City Ed.
Here we have the Society Editor
What is she doing? She is writing
about the dainty luncheon at the Coun-
try Club. She also has an exclusive
story about the Misses Excelsior of
Frisco spending few weeks with their
cousins in Harlem. At the swell din
ner given in their honor Covers were
laid for Twenty-four.
Does the Society Editor have to go
after stories? Not at all-the stories
are sent in by the anxious principals.
Isn't this too much trouble for the
principals? Oh, no-dehghted, 1 assure
you!
Are you in Society? Then come and
meet the Society Editor. She will be
glad to fix you out if you send in your
MSS, written on one side of the paper
and be careful about Spelling and
Punctuation.
Why is the Society Editor laughing?
She is laughing at the lady who sent
in six items about herself. She knews
this lady will say next day, MY good
ness, you just can't keep anything out
of the, Papers, nowadays" Society
people are Queer Things, and the So
ciety Editor is onto all their Curves.
Yes, indeed. Let us run along now
and not bother her any more until she
has finished reading her mail.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
CURRENT COMMENTS.

The New York World (Dem.) says:
Tom Watson says he is trying to
drive the Cleveland Democrats out of
the Democratic party, which is an
other way of saying that he is trying
to drive the Democrats out Of the
Democratic party"
The Charleston Post Dem.) says
Tom Watson is hitting the Demo-
Gratis as hard as he can from the
standpoint of a third party man. but
Dr.. Silas Swallow, the Prohibition
smashing into the Republicans. so
that the situation should be pretty near
ly a stand on"
The Columbia State Dem) says:
After thinking over It for a couple
Of weeks newspapers OF the South are
agreeiL1 with the state that the re-
ports of Before Day clubs are sensa-
tional and injurious falsehoods. We
have CROUCH lawlcssness IN this Sec
tion without drawing on the lmagina-
tion of the local liars for yarns of this
character"
The Philadelphia Record (Dem) says:
"Ten times. the Republican party has
re-adjusted the tariff. and with the
usual result that Il has lifted the duties
60 "a higher notch. The last ne was
made ON the excuse Of creating r0oat-
Ing place beside protection for "the
twin sister" Reciprocity But rccl-
procity is poor, neglected starvoling
she has not been allowed even aims
house support az the hands of her cruel
guardians"
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
THE mTREATINGn EVIL.

The Anti-Treating League of Amer
lea is a movement begun in Chicago
that deserves to reach into every nook
and corner of the country Twin evils
that beset the country are tipping and
treating, and it is probable that the
greatest of these is treating. There
can be do doubt that many a man goes
home at unreasonable hours of the
night Cor morning), accompanied by a
Jag" due solely to the reason that he
has treated and been treated too often
for his good. And in such instances the
chances are that everybody else in the
crowd was also Jagged" and got home
late. The well-intentioned average
citizen drops in at the saloon or the
club to have a single drink, after
which, it is his firm intention to go
directly home. He finds a friend or two
or three. Under existing customs
these friends would think him a close
listed boor il he were to take his drink
without extending an invitation to all
of them to join him. And then, after
the first man has treated. the ethics
turn shall set them up" Thus. by the
time the treats have gone around the
circle, good judgment has been drown
ed in a flood OF alcohol sobriety has
given place to tipsiness and the several
members of the treating party are in
a fair way TO drunkenness and possibly
other excuses.
The principle of the Anti-Treating
League Of America is this: Buy a
drink for yourself IL you want one.
and I'll do the same; but I don't want
you to buy a drink for me, nor do
want you to expect me to buy a drink
for you" This principle. which is
based on good, common sense and rea-
son. extends not only to drinks Of al
eoholic beverages. but as well to soda
water, cigars. car fares and the various
other items that are embraced IN the
treat list The treating custom has
been carried TO embarrassing lengths
For instance. A is on n street car
when y stops the car and gets on. A
and d are acquaintance. A has not
yet paid his fare. Following tho GUS
tom. A insists on paying B's fare az
well a. his own II may be that A g.
not ovor-burdeued with nlckels. but he
feels that % On incumbent on him
through the courtesy Of custom 10 pay
80 fare Meanwhile doesn't desire
anything OF the kind. HE 10 abund-
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18

The storm of Wednesday and Thurs
day. which struck inland between Char
lesion and Wilmington and followed
the coastline up. was one of uneXpect-
ed severity. 1t was not a tropical
storm, such as we sometimes exper-
fence in September and October, but
seems TO have originated at sea off
the South Atlantic coast. The signal
service knew little or nothing about
it until it made its presep-e felC.
Reports from the sea islands of South
Carolina are to the effect that long
staple cotton was considerably dam
aged. Along the North Carolina coast
and for some miles inland the winds
blew high and timber and crops were
hurt. At sea a number of vessels were
disabled or wrecked. From Baltimore
to Boston the storm ragged, at some
points the wind blowing at the rate of
eighty miles an hour. At Delaware
Breakwater, indeed, a hundred-mile
wind was recorded. For several days
yet there will come reports of dam
ages to shipping from the disturbance.
Happily for Savannah, she escaped it
all.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
FIFTEEN CLAIMED 81 BILL.

well-dressed man of middle age
was crossing Broadway at Twenty
third street last evening when he saw
a new dollars bill on the pavement. He
picked it up and started to move on,
which a man accosted him:
Excuse me, sir" said he, did you
find dollar bill?"
Eyes. Do you own it?'
Eyes. 1 just dropped it, and 1 thank
you very much for picking it up, sir"
But don't know that it is yours,
said the finder, and then he added,
quickly: Can you tell me the num-
Der of it?''
Just then a young man stepped up
and said he lost the bill He started to
describe the manner in which he lost
it, when a third man stepped UP and
put in a claim. In five minutes fifteen
men were claiming ownership to the
bill. A crowd of hundred had gath
cred, and the cars were blocked while
the wrangle lasted Finally the find
er exclaimed:
II am losing valuable time here, and
you can take your old money" and
so sayin', he crunched the bill in his
hand and tossed it in the air. There
was a scramble, and a newsboy known
as Happy" got IL.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
TO LIVE IN PEACE.

From the Kansas City World.
A woman may accept man in haste,
but man chooses his wife at leisure.
1t is to be supposed that when man
asks a woman to marry him he has
decided that he cannot live without her.
If he can't live without her it is GER
tainly his duty to do his best to live
with her. This is not always so easy
as it sounds. Here are a few simple
rules for the wise husband:
If your wife frowns at you smile
at her.
If she smiles at you laugh with her.
If she is angry soothe her.
If she is gracious thank her.
If she is wise praise her.
If she is extravagant explain to her.
If she sacrifices her pleasures for
you be generous with her.
If she is beautiful appreciate her.
If she cooks well compliment her.
If she is lonely stay at home with her.
If she is tired tend her.
If she doubts you be frank with her
If she grieves be tender with her.
If she is hysterical ignore her.
If she deceives you be harsh with
her.
If she is saucy kiss her.
If she is good adore her.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
That Was Enough.

ut was on a train going from New
York to Washington" said Albert
Barnes of Toledo, according to the
Boston Advertiser.
among the passengers was a newly
married couple, who made themselves
known as such to so great an extent
that the occupants of the car began
to make sarcastic remarks about them.
THE bride and groom stood the re-
marks for some time, but finally the
latter, who was a man of tremendous
size, broke out in the following Ian
guage at his tormentors:
Yes, we're married-just married.
We are going 100 miles further and
are going to spoon all the way. If
you don't like it you can get out and
walk. She's my violet and I'm her
sheltering oak"
During the remainder of the jour-
ney this couple was left in peace"
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
Election Bets.
W. D. Nesbit. in Judge.

w. d. Nesbit, in Judge.
I used to make election bets, I've won
'em an I'VE lost:
I've had wheelbarrow rides, an I have
walked acrost
TIL crick, dressed in my Sunday
clo'es, escorted by two boats,
Because 1 missed my guess about tn
man who'd get most votes.
This year l think tn only one I'll make
a wager with
viii be a woman-an' her name is
Miss Malviny Smith.
Laws! other years I've had more bets
than you could ever count;
I've had 'em run from IS cents to
any old amount.
I've had to wear straw hat clear
to Feb'ury first,
And then go barehead until spring
! don't know which was worst
But now I've quit. The only chance
that / will take will be-
I'm bettin with Malviny Smith, NAL
why bets with me.
Malviny says shouldn't smoke; so
that cuts out cigars.
1 dassen't bet some bottled goods
she'd kick on that, my stars!
An money? She advises me that she
thinks It is best
To save as much as / can get to feath-
er up our nest.
1 guess this year tn only one that
III be bettin' with
VIII be a woman an her name is Miss
Malviny Smith.
What is tn bet? II amt a bet, Il
amt a suit o. cloes:
II amt TO wear a linen suit tn first
day that IL SHOWS.
II amt no fool wheelbarrow ride
that gets tn silly belt
It's just like this: I've made my bet
with her on Roosevelt.
An ~ I win / marry her; an 81
lose. you see
That is, n she should chance 10 win,
Malviny marries me-
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
HOW TO ENsNARE MEN.
From the Baltimore American

fTOul Tie 0dlIllIlOIS AIIlcIICdus
Chicago, Ill, Sept. 15.-Mrs. Lide
Ross Wade has given away the Sc
cret. The oracle of the National
Dressmakers' Convention has told
"How to Snare a Man" Here is her
recipe as given to d class of twenty
five young women here to-day:
BE stunning"
Then she told them how to be
stunning" if not beautiful. Here
are some of the things she told them:
Wear simple gowns, but be sure
they are becoming.
Show your charms.
Let modesty dictate where to stop.
Wear low-cut dresses if shoulders
and skin are good. Pad if you are
human hatrack; don't show the
hooks.
Be natural.
In desperate cases try red.
Don't pull your skirt tight unless
Be attractive in the morning; don't
let men callers catch you in ''dowdy''
attire.
To these things Mrs. Wade added
Study man.
Never wear high heels except in
the ballroom or on the stage.
Don't be mannish.
Play to mans hobbies.
Don't always smile; be cross and
fight occasionally.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
Gooseberries and a Cat.

Not long ago, says Golfers Week
ly, officials of the Department of Agri-
culture were much amused by let
ter sent the department by an occa-
sional correspondent in Virginia.
Among other things, the writer has
tened to advise Secretary Wilson to
this effect:
My wife had tame cat that dyd.
Being a Tortureshell and a Crate
faverit, we had the same berred in
the gardin, and for the enrichment
of the soil had the Carkis deposited
under the roots of a gooseberry bush.
(The frute being up to then of the
smooth Variety But the next
Seson's Frute, after the Cat was ber-
red, the gooseberrys was all hairy
and more remarkable, the catapilers
of the same bush was all of said hairy
description"
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
WILLING to Demonstrate.

The lawyer was endeavoring to prove
that the witness did not stick to the
truth, says the New York Press. The
witness said he kept his money con-
cealed about the house, some of it
hidden in the stove and the rest in
other queer places. The attorney glar-
ed at him fiercely.
How did you get all that money!"
he asked.
Earned it," grunted the witness.
But how did you earn it?" persist
ed the lawyer.
"Ain't I a roofer? Didn't I have
a lot of contracts during the last three
months"
But how could you earn $1,100 in
three months?"
The witness looked at the lawer with
utmost contempt. Then:
You give me an order to roof your
house, Mr.. Lawyer, and I'll show you
how l did it,"
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
A LESSON TO THE REPUBLICANS.


A LESSON TO THE REPUBLICANS.
Though some of the Republican or
gans and politicians have tried to make
it appear in connection with his fam
Gus gold standard telegram that Judge
Parker is trickster. the American
people regard him as high-minded
and honorable man, who wouldn't I'M
der any circumstances, do mean act
or practice deception. That they have
the right impression of him is evident
by his letter to the editor of the Dem
ocratic campaign text book, the text
of which letter we publish elsewhere.
In the letter. which was written about
the middle of August last, Judge Par
ker says that he hears the campaign
text book is about ready for the print
er, and that he particularly desires
that there shall be mo word in it
that reflects upon the personal honor
or integrity of President Roosevelt"
He knew of course of the attacks
that had been made upon his own honor
and integrity in the Republican text
book, and in Republican newspapers
and by Republican stump speakers,
but he did not want any mud sling
ing from the Democratic side.
The people win feel a still higher
regard for Judge Parker for taking
this stand. Even his political enemies
cannot help to honor him for it,
though they may entertain a feeling of
4. g.. I.
a higher moral plane than they do.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18
FREIGHT RATE REDUCTIONS.

We do not find fault with Atlanta
for trying to have the transportation
rates in which she is interested reduc-
ed. though we take it for granted that
she is treated just as fairly in the
matter of rates as any other city in
the state, but what we cannot under
stand is that the Railroad Commission
should discriminate against other cit
les for the benefit of Atlanta. What
does the commission expect to gain
by a policy of that kind? Does it ex-
pect that the other cities will submit
to such discrimina ton? If it does 1t
is greatly mistaken.
The circular that was issued the
other day by the commission. MAX
ing changes in the rates from At
lanta to Macon, Augusta, Columbus
and Athens, doesn't help any city ex-
cept Atlanta, so far as we are able
to see, and it does injure other cit
les. We pointed out yesterday that
Savannah is interested in having rel
latively as low rates to the cities
named as Atlanta. If the rates that
have been authorized by the commits
sion are permitted to stand some of
Savannah's manufacturers and whole
sale merchants will be driven out of
the territory covered by these rates.
Is it the purpose of the commits
sion to give the territory in ques-
ton to Atlanta? Is it the privilege
of the commission to build up some
cities at the expense of others? If
not, then the rates from Savannah to
the points covered by the new rates
should be reduced until they are on
an equality with those from Atlanta.
Some of the most bitter fights on
railroads have been the result of dis
examinations against certain towns on
their lines. one of the reasons for
the creation of a commission in this
state was to prevent determinations
such as that contained in the recent
rate reducing circular.
Savannah wants all that is due her
and she doesn't propose TO remain quiet
while her trade Is being taken from
her by determinations In freight rates.
II the commission responds to At
lanta's kicking by giving her rates
that are lower than those which other
cities OF the state have IL is going 70
get into a great deal more trouble
than Il Is now having.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-09-18

The Boston Herald and other New
England newspapers, must be greatly
because the Southern press
is not having fits" over the fact that
Alexander Sedgewick of Massachusetts
recently entertained Booker Washing
ton at his house. The fact is the
Southern press doesn't care rap whom
Alexander Sedgewick entertains' at his
house. 1t is Mr.. Sedgewicks own
business whom he asks to eat or sleep
under his roof. He is private citi-
zen, and his home is his castle. But
it is a vastly different thing for the
President of the United States to af-
front and insult a very considerable
portion of the population by practicing
social equality with the inferior race.