The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-10-23
WHlMS OF
THE IDLER.
OLD-TIME
AGRICULTURAL FAIRS.

ULD- lllME
II AGRICULTURAL FAIRS
Nowadays there isn't any place on
who follows tho predatory movements OF
potato Bugs and weevil with interest.
II didn't use to be so. When was
| young and that hasn't been so mon
| strous long ago, either let me tell YOU'D
| virginia11 who ran plantation was
"some pumpkins and when no opened
| his mouth and spake, people had time to
| listen But they don't do 1t now Say
farm err to a man these days and 1t gives
him the fidgets. II he'll listen at all,
the best he'l,do is to inquire how the
"grangers" arc going to vote orSwhether
| they're buying their merchandise from
Richmond or Baltimore.
And as for having an agricultural fair
or allowing tho gents who feed the coun-
try by their perspiration chance TO
show what they can do-why, city folks
would as soon think OF permitting the
cockroaches to give an exposition or OF
advising the town water-bugs to have
| swimming contest
But as have said-and as l am going
| to keep on saylng-it didn't use to be So
| And we rural vermn haven't forgotten,
l ana "naL s HlOIc We eL Sli 6OH6 " -
get. They can't keep on fooling US and
| batting us with these here horse shows,
| where bob-ta nags cavant around IN
behalf OF matrimonial bureaus, and
| chest nut hllles kick up a lot OF saw dust
! and tan bark In the hope OF advertising
the town tailors and the city nantua-
| makers.
When was boy a-hangiEg around
! the stable and a.-jugging a pitchfork
| folks thought horses was made to keep
| the business end Of q pillow busy, and the
old spawned hat-rack On our PLACE didn't
| command any more respect than the
Dominicker rooster in the harn-yard. but
my! It's different now. Say horse to
| city man to-day and he gallops Off to.
| Jump into splkc-tail coat. and sends
! his wife rushing over to Broad street
| for a Partisan creation, with hat and
gloves to match. Well do ] renlcnl-
Der that when i was little shaver, the
best and most fastidious Of us didn't
hesitate to 60 into the presence Of
| horse even though we wore blue jeans 4
gbreeches and had our pants histed@'
with pair Of galluses made of shoe
string. Now the biggest man In +. the
country is proud to rake his whiskers
with currycomb and will cheerfuliy
sci, his family tree for pedigree for his
| steed.
There was a day, too when horses had
| Sto hoof It, but that time has passed.
| They come to us In private cars now,
and !. carry @l.fe insurance, and have
Wallets and Individual physicians, and
ISretinues to keep of flies. AS to the n.y.
| fighting attendants amt kicking 50
| much, being as the equine aristocracy
| don't have anymore tails than Jacf
! rabbit, but. does seem hard when l
want my namez In the society column,
for the edtor$to tell me Invariably that
lShe hasn't got space-that he's running
! a page Of personal "reminiscences about
Mrs. So-and- Sos st ylish, well -manner-
ed 4sorrel hackney, and is giving the pub
| lie come interesting facts about the
tour-legged critters grandparents
| Admit I IS good as horse and didn't
! have a grandpa and a grandma, too?
And ANTI stylish and well-mannere ID
| aleastwise amt i we'll hammered?
Maybe so, but couldn't get any edi-s
i4tor to see It that way last week The
Il most satisfaction / got was the confess
4 sion, ] from. 4 ono editor that he too, felt
some what 4embarrassed by the situation.
as he wanted to go to the horse show,
\ but didn't have anything II to wear ex-
cept doeskin Prince Albert coat which
5 he inherited from. his father and beaver
1 hat made from the same block that pro-
| duced the ample headgear of Henry Cray.
This editor said that no horse at the show
would stand for such an outfit; that the,
l&"best hammered" brute on exhibition
would shy at him unless he at laest ap-
! pearcd in a Tuxedo.
Il In the name Of gracious how long
aA'e We farmers going to put up with ell
| these monkey-shInes? It's time for US
ito ,shakeethe hay-seed out of our hair
land the sheep-bur1;s out OF our Whiskers
and got down to business.
IL Already Professor William +. Atwood
| than whom no man ever made q Drawer
| cio,, tlyt1S
| has used the columns Of this wdely-cir-
1 1culated paper to let folks know that he's
4hopping mad, and that unless We sons
| OF the sod get together and have DIE
agricultural fair, somebody Is going to
! raise sand 4.
] hint argoing 10 stand any foollshnesG
| And he amt a-golng to let the four-les
4 ged ar!stocrats butt In and boss the
business lie says, with a touch OF scorn
| that bites like q Spotsylyanih chigger-
Ito be sure. stock Is shown at tho fairs
! In a fundamentally groomed halr-paIt-
ed i'm he-middlc stock-fallltless In type,
beautiful in proportion, wonderful speci-
linens Of what skill will do when well d.
! rected But one Jocks In vain for neiGh.
| Dor Browns and neighbor Smiths con-
| tribut!on 20 the exhibit
| The way the Professor sasses fancy
stock breeders in the next thirteen lines
/ is aawful--but delicious.
observe the following:
..But what large opportunities for do
| Ing good are allowed to 20 unutilzed at
our recent fairs For instance at Roa-
noke the exhibit Of Hcrefords was en-
ceptionally fine, but I did not md "a sln-
gle cross-bred Hereford steer. What ara
these magnificent animals shown for?
Eurios!ties. like the tat hog? Everybody
now knows that they exist. And. to me 4
1t least. this dupllcation upon dupllca-
tion OF exhibits of band-box specimens
grows wearlsome. want to see some-
thing that the farmer can say Is nine
Why shouldn't we have classes for grade
steers sired by pure bred bulls OF the
beef breeds? This would interest practi-
cally everybody. The city man, the con-
sumer OF beef, the butcher, and the farm