The Savannah morning news. (Savannah, Ga.) 1900-current, 1904-02-14

The Hungry BibIomaniac.
BY JOHN KENDRICK BANGS.
Copyright, 1904, by John Russell Davidson.

folded up his valentine and slowed 1t
away in his pocket once more.
II think / can spot the sender" said
the Idiot, fixing his eye sternly upon
the Poet. ut takes genius to get up a
rhyme like menu and chain YOU and
| / know of only one man at this board
or at any other who is equal to the
task"
"If you mean me-" retorted the Poet,
] flushing, you are nightly mistaken.
j wouldn't waste a rhyme like that on
a personal valentine when / could
tack 1t on to the end of a sonnet and go
out and sell 1t for two-fiftv."
Then you didn't do it, eh?" de-
manded the idiot.
mo. Did your" asked the Poet, with
his eyes twinkling.
Sir" said the idiot. "If had done
1t would / have had the unblushing
effrontery to say as i just now did say,
that its author was genius?"
well, we're square, anyhow" said
the Poet. You cast me under sus-
picion to begin with, and 1t was only
fair that 1 should whack back. / got
a valentine myself, and i suspect 1t
was from the same hand. 1t runs like
this:
TO THE MINOR POET.
"You do not pluck the fairy flowers
1udI DlOOiIl vi IiBn tDdScADg
Nor do you gather thistles like
Some of those mystic asses
Who browse about old Helicon
In hope to fill their tummies:
nours rather are those dandy-lines-
Gilt topped ysanthemummies-
Quite pleasant stuff
That ends in fluff
Yet when they are beholden
Make all the world look golden"
well calculated the idiot. IT don't
see what there is in that to make you
angry. Seems to me there's some very
nice compliments in that. For instance
beholden
Makes all the world look golden,
according to your anonymous corre-
spondent. II he'd been vicious he
might have said something like this:
'--withal SO supercilious
They make the whole earth bilious"
The Poet grinned. I'm not COM
planning about it. It's mighty nice
little verse l think, and my only re-
greet is that / do not know who the
chap was who sent ii. I'd like to thank
him. had an idea you might help
me-" he said, with searching glance.
II will" said the Idiot. IF the man
who sent you that ever reveals his
Identity to me / will tell him you fell
ali over yourself with Joy on receiving
his tribute of admiration. How did you
come out, DoctorT'
"Oh. he remembered me. all right"
said the Doctor. "Quiet in the same
vein, too, only not so COMPLIMENTARY.
He calls me The Humane Surgeon,
and runs into rhyme after this fash
Joni
%, Doctor Blanks a surgeon bold.
A surgeon most humane. sir:
And what he does is e'er devoid
OF ordinary pain, sir.
If he were called to amputate
A leg hurt by bullet,
He wouldn't take a knife and cut
But with his bill he'd pull it,"
HE must have had some experience
with you, Doctor" said the Idiot. an
fact he knows you so well that / am in
clined TO think the writer of that val
entlne lives in this house, and it is just
possible that the culprit is seated at
this table at this moment"
II think II very likely" said the Doc
tor, drily. He's a fresh young man,
five feet ten inches In hight"
"Pooh--pOoh." said the Idiot. That's
the worst description of Mr.. Brief
ever heard. Mr.. Brief. in the first
place is not young man, and he
isn't fresh"
Il didn't mean Mr.. Brief" said the
Doctor, significantly.
Then you ought TO be ashamed OF
yourself to Intimate that Mr.. White
choker, a clergyman, would stoOD TO
the writing of such a rhyme as that"
cried the idiot. People nowadays seem
to me to be utterly lacking IN that res
peet for the cloth 10 which Il Is en-
titled. Mr.. Brief, II you really wrote
that thing you owe IT to Mr.. White
choker TO own up and thus relieve him
OF the suspicion the Doctor has so un-
blushinRly cast upon him."
Il can prove an abb" said the Law
yer. II could no more turn q rhyme
with one finger. and I wouldn't n i
could. ! judged from that know Of