The Monticellonian., 1904-07-21

1 Hto the carnage somehow or other managed to let one of my gloves fall l You saw it at once, and instead of at- tending properly to me, you picked it up, and made such a grave bow as vou 1 handed it to me saying: T think you've dropped glove Tit wasn't even 1 your glove'1. Of course my glove had 1 dropped, and any other man would have waited till had driven away be- fore he picked 1t up. II know, because l have looked
 T was annoyed. The glove was quite new one and I had hardly soiled l., for somehow or other I hadn't danced much You looked dreadfully glum as you picked it up I think it must have been my carelessness in let ting 1t drop in the dirt. I am extrava- gant, fear; and as you told me last night that you were a poor man, I am afraid l must have shocked your sensi- biliues,
 Why on earth did you say any, thing about money? What had it to do with the question? l know I have heaps of it; and it's not a bad thing either, as it sometimes helps a man to marry the girl he loves. Remember ldear Jackl-I needn't mention the l brackets again-when you ask another girl to marry you. if she happens to have money (which I hope she will Tor your sake] don't refer to it. If she cares a bit for you, as you deserve, she'll be only ashamed to feel that sAe has so littIe to give you.
 I've heaps of other reasons for say- ing No, but under any circumstances could never marry man who didn't take his answer from his lady-loves own lips. The girl who consents to such thing deserves to be married in her bonnet and in shoes two sizes too big for her
 Now, I'll give you a piece of good advice before I stop. When you pro- pose to the other girl, don't mention, as have said, her money, if she has any; don't s1y you are unworthy of her ithat won't be true] and not fit to tie her shoelace, though I recolect you once tied mine very nicely in spite of your fingers trembling. Don't, above all, say that you are not anxious to hurry her, but would like her to con- slider the matter well. I can't imagine a lover of mine saying that, when, per haps, my heart was like the warning of clock upon the point of midday striking. and breaking into perpetual high noon chime of love and joy. After that, it could only go on 'gurr-gurr- rrrrrr,' straining it's poor works and al ha |; of life to leave it behind. It could never speak clear and true to one who want ed to set it back.
 Now. to finish my good and impar- tial advice: when you are addressing the other girl you should lay your hands gently upon her shoulders, and look closely into her eyes II believe you have learned this alreadyl It is cruel to retreat at this moment, espe- cially if. as I have said the heart clock is on the point of striking At the same time it is most difficult to go back, for, like particles of matter, the forces of attraction grow incredibly strong at infinitesimal distances II have found it sol. Then, having got so far, you should say: Claude Tor whatever the name of the other girl may bel, l love you. Will you be my wife?'
 You'll possibly hear then a sound like the warning of the clock. a sort of sob of all the strings of it's heart. You should have lost all hesitation by this time. and you should take the face of, say, the clock, quite close, and kiss it gently first on the figure XII [that's the browl. then most warmly on fig ures TX and III [these are the cheeksl. and then rapturously on figure VI, just where the comic artists put the mouth when they make the clock-face human. You shouldn't neglect the hands, which are often fascinatingly pretty and de- lightful to kiss-at least, so they say in clock-hand! l hope your little clock. when you try all this, will give the true cuckoo cry. which is the fit song of the ever new season when the young maids fancy turns-but not lightly-to thoughts of love.
 "I sha'n't trust this letter to the hands of the penny postman. but shall send il by my little groom. Isn't it funny that we used to call him Cupid because of his rosy face and bow legs? Now he shall speed, not indeed with his shafts, but behind them, in my owA polo-cart.
 "I inclose the glove. in case you may have liked to have something to re- mind you of an old friend who is very sorry to have to send you such de- eisive No.
 ''I shall be in the conservatory at nine tonight. and if you care to go through a rehearsal of the scene with the other girl shall put on my pret- tiest frock-the pale green one that you like-and do my best to make you perfect II think you are that alreadyl.
 But don't forget that you must al- ways be kind to your little clock; firm. too. so as not to let the works run down for want of judicious winding. There is only one universal key. and you have it. Ever yours
 CLAUDE" Black and White.