davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14

lantiy. Ordinarily exacting as are | venture to
say that to a will stand by you in this
emergency nevertheless. Speaking for myself. you
need not provide of beef from this time on
shall be quite satisfied with simpler things not af
fected by the strikes things like Terrspn Ia Mary
land; Lobster a la NewbuTg; Imported French
Partridge Scotch Grouse; Brook Trout geee
au natural avec butter; Philadelphia SQUAD; wild
Rhode Island Turkey; Canary Birds Tongues and
on. You'll never find me going back a lady in
distress Mrs PedagOg, matter OF roast
beef especially when there's plenty Of game in the
land l can eat any kind of game except Ping Pong
and be perfectly content"
You'll ruin good landlady with kindness.
said Mr. Brief Shed have fine time feeding
on imported partridges"
Excuse me, Mr. Brief" retorted the Idiot. Il
did not say 1 said l. 1 will be satisfied with
those things; for the others have other menus to
suggest The Doctor here has intimated that he can
get along meditation The think diet is the thing
for him and Mrs. PedagOg feed him accordingly
poached thought on toast for breakfast; thought
pick-me-up for luncheon and roast meditation with
caper for dinner should satisfy his needs Our
dear old friend the Bbliomaniac here is less easily
provided for. He told me he could live for an
indefinite period books, but when I asked him
once to have one me he picked out s4S edition
of Lambs Essays However, if you can induce him
to believe that he has right to expect rich foods
at boarding house table you may be able to handle
him. They selling complete edition of Bazac
down town for dollar, and payment of 80 cents
month for six months to one of the big department
stores you can get sixty-two volume edition of
Fiction Tablets by Master Hands delivered immedi-
ately which should tide you over the famine period
feeding him three tablets a day, one for each
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14

vaced as the result of the accidents for the relief Of
the injured workman Any workman receiving
weekly payments for a partial permanent injury
may be obliged TO submit from time 10 time 10
qualified physician who viii certify as TO whether or
not the injured workman is still Incapaeitated
One OF the great drawbacks of the act OF 1880 was
that the workman allowed to contract QUIZ
and. consequence, the law was made OF no ensct
In spite of the opposition representatives of
the working classes provision was inserted IN the
act of 1897 likewise permitting contracting out
although in this the provision safe guarded to
great extent the welfare of the workingman. II was
provided that where the employers ane Woftsnen
agreed upon scheme, which in the opinion Of the
registrar of Friendly Societies was the whole
not less favorable to the general body of workmen
and their dependents than the provision of this act
then he, the registrar might grant certificate per-
hitting the parties to contract OUT or, in other
words TO adopt alternative scheme but no scheme
should be certified which contained obligation
upon a workma TO join the scheme as condition
OF his securing job
Under this act a large number of companies in
fcluding some of the largest, adopted alternative
schemes and contracted out. There were in 1893
over $4,000 who had taken advantage of this
provision In these various contracting schemes
the woFSmen had contributed $4,000 and the en-
plOyers 900 provide for forms of insurance
and during the 1903 $4,000 had been paid for
death incapacity. accident and other benefits we'll
as for management and expenses. In the case of
these 10000 there were in the year 1903 forty
two deaths where dependents left and 113
deaths where there were dependents while there
1918 accidents resulting in partial or complete
Interpretation. Most persons contracting out were
either miners or railway employees about one-third
of all the wOTkmen contracting out being employees
of two railways There is still much opposition to
the system of contracting out" and in some cases
it is claimed that where majority even large
minority of the employees willing to accept the
plan, the remainder are practically eoereed.
Upon the whole despite certain manifest difficult
ties, the Workmen's Compensation Act has proved
success and has been of great if not inestimabIe
benefit to the British workman.
JOHN MITCHELL.
In collaboration with Walter E. Weyl.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14
Home Run Observation-Disclosures Bat and Elusive Ball

playin' the Russetvlles that day an in the ninth
innin with two runs behind, two out an the bases
filled an two strikes called on Reggie, who bat
tin, Gonfalon Kelly from the cOschin line suddenly
runs up to third base an yells to Bill Hicks the
Russetville pitcher:
Hey, stop the game. That balls got hole in
bill looked at the ball an says:
They amt no hole in it. An there wasn't But
Gonfalon he yells:
Yes there is. I can see it. Throw it here An
then he give Bill Hicks hypnotic look or somethin
for Bill threw the ball 10 him an Gonfalon side
stepped an let it roll an kept motonin' for our
fellers on the bags TO run in. An they did, all O.
them, before the Russetvies got the ball back. They
squealed loud but it went, an we got the game
Just good a homer. says Gonfalon- That
little old trick was just as good as long double or
triple II the game. l sized up that pitcher for
trustin Rube the minute I set eyes him, an he
was
THAT doomed Gonfalon KeIly's stock hull lot
an the Alfalfa Citizen referred to him as sheady
III pass over most o. Gonfalons tricks in tellin'
this tale-how he turned the with the aid o. a
watch crystal to the back O the SOrreton ketcher
with man third, an made him give scream an
jump m the air just as the pitcher pitchin an
yell 'Gosh-all-tmber, I'm stabbed an have passed
ball that let in the run he was lookin for; how
PluggeT Harkins, the champion base steaeT o. the
League tried to steal third slid an stuck fast
the ground four feet onn the bag because Gonfalon
had sprinked rosn all over the ground around third
an Plugger doubled up in a bunch when he struck
1t an didn't slide all an Kelly got the ball an
put him out: how he could palm ball SOS a megi-
clan would think he didn't have it an he'd ketch
felers of third how he charged ball with electri-
city, churcE full o. it. an the Wiregrass felers
couldn't handle it an says 'Wotinen is the matter
with the ball today anyhow? an we all had rubber
gloves an give EN- the laugh an says they were
goin back fast Well pass over all that, which made
Gonfalon rise high the pinnacles fame. an come
down to the greatest event that the Corndroppers'
league ever saw, an which would have marked
new stage in baseball history only for An this
Is how il was:
wanted games from the Hayvilles to get into first
place Two defeats for them an two wins for rs
would do it. Josh had us all keyed up to the i'm
portance o winnin out Pinch an me just get
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14

tin dressed when he heard knock the door an
Gonfalon Kelly walked in. He had pair O. blue
oyeralis an an , old jumper an l9oked tired
Hello, Kell,' says Pinch what's up?'
Pinch, says he, his inside lookin' eyes fashin'
out bright an brilliant an red comm into his cheek,
the greatest triumph o the age is mine-the great
est triumph, ] may say, since Columbus discovered
the lair O. the Montyzumas an the historic events
which followed. an l can't dilate it. / haven't
time. Why? Because my soul is wrapped up in the
great discovery which has tore at my vtals tryfn'
says. it amt perfect Wait till it's perfect, Con
Talon, says l. an then tell the famous Haggerty an
the glorious Hobbs. This way gentlemen.
i nudged Pinch as We followed him down the hall.
Buggy, says /, watch him.. He led into his
room an it was all fixed up like machine shop On
a bench lay baseball bat made O some heavy black
wood that shone Walkin' up to the bench, Gonfalon
took out baseball an held it up.
Here says he, is the secret the alchemists of
old strove for an couldn't find. This is the secret
that bafed the wise guys O. Greece when they played
All through the dark. dim ages this here has been
sought, but it remained for GOnfalon Kelly, an OBJ
scure third baseman on an obscure nine in back
country league, to bring it out Oh but could shout
m the very hiiltops.'
Well, spit it out says L What is it?'
All, yes. says he; you talk rough now but
when you know this grand achievement you won t.
This. says he holdin the ball an gain at it. is
the famous Kelly Elusive Ball.
The wot?' says Pinch.
The Kelly Elusive Ball repeated Gonfalon very
What does It do-dring MILK says L.
He squelehed me with O. them piercing looks
Then he says:
This here great invention suggested by the
failure O. pitchers to the ball it couldn't be
nit. Now, everything in this here world has some
thing it specially likes an specially dislikes could
give you the real Names but you wouldn't under
stand, an it amt important So set out hndin the
stuff that didn't like wood the worst way, an found
ii an made ball O. it, an it hates wood SO much
hat when you bin at it with a wood bat it jumps
right out of its course to avoid it. o. course that's
got curve pitchin beat No matter how fast you
throw this here ball. when it sees wood bat swing
in at it jumps right around an goes on its way re-
joicin into the ketcher's NIT
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14
How the British Employer Insures His Worknen

sumo the risk that the switchman whom perhaps
they had never seen, would leave the switch open
For many years the British workmen, through their
unions. and especially the Union of Railway En-
poyes agtated redress of this grievance and in
1880 they secured the Employers Liability Act which
was passed Tor seven years, and which was annually
renewed after 1887. This act limited somewhat the
scope Of the doctrine of common employment and
provided that where workman was killed his repre-
sentative should have the same compensation and
remedies against the employer though he had not
been workman.
While this act remedied the scope of the doctrine
OF any employment, and, therefore, did good
the advantages arising from it were. the whole
very small Under the act the employer was enabled
to evade the law by device called contracting out"
BY contracting out meant to offer alternative
plan or to persuade the employe in one way OF an
other to waive his rights under the act As the en-
ploye was frequently IN the dilemma of being forced
either TO waive his rights under the act lose his
job. the advantages accrUing to him from the law
were not very great Moreover, it was soon found
that the percentage of where the injury could
be directly tTaceable TO the negligence of the super
iOrs of the empoye without any contTibuOTy negli-
gence on his own part exceedingly small 1t was
soon felt that remedy of wider scope necessary
ana this was eventually obtained in the WoTkmen's
Compensation Act, which is now the law of England
The inspiration of the law from the
continent Of Europe, and especially from Germany.
In the sos Germany inaugUTated her system of in
surfing workmen against sickness. old age and acct
dent, and the example which she set was soon fol-
lowed by France Austria, Belgium and Holland
Italy. and most of the continental countries The
different from that which the English law had been
following The English law, American law to-
day had sought to discover who responsible for
each accident TO weigh carefully the liability of
employer and of his agents upon the hand and
the cOntributoTy negligence of the injured workman
on the other, and to make an exact balance between
the two This system worked injustice and hardship
because the smallest amount of cOntributoTy negli-
gence however slight, was sufficient to debar the in
jured man from securing relief Moreover in the
great majority of it was absolutely and entirely
impossible to determine who was responsible and in
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14

the benefit of humanity and take it up enthusiastic
ally develop the thing in detail for you, and you
throw the whole thing I'd rather be chesty
from eating too much meat than ungrateful from a
pTepOnderance of thought / didn really approve of
your idea anyhow. Nobody ever grew fat on think
ing and all the meditatons in creation wouldn't add
ounce to your weight or increase your biceps a
sixteenth of inch. If this beef famine we're to
come to the worst you wouldn't catch going to
the Carnegie library for my meals. Browsing in the
field of thought may produce something for you to
chew On, but il is not sustaining plain bit of
chewing gum. Id make bee line for the navy yard
and lay in a stock of hard tack. That's the best
substitute for meat you find in the market and If
ton, venison, wild turkey or porterhOuse. It's all a
give piece of hard tack handful of sawdust
and potato masher to pulverise it 1 change it
into first class patent breakfast food in four min
utes If you put sugar and cream it you'd say 1t
the finest substitute for oatmeal you'd had
and within two weeks if you ate it regularly you'd
feel if you had a hard wood finish inside. The
possibilities of hard tack simply mitess. It can
be cooked in any STYLE and is tough or as tender
you have a mind to make it"
You'd better make a note of that Mrs. Pedagog,
said the Lawyer, addressing the landlady. When
the famine really strikes you give the Idiot
hard tack and distribute his share of the beef the
rest of u.s.
THE beef famine has struck US" sighed the land
lady For several days past have been on the point
of stating the facts to you gentlemen and asking you
what you thought / ought to do under the circum-
stances. l cannot afford much longer to give you
beef at current prices"
Don't be afraid, Madam" said the Idiot gal
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14

meal The best part of this tablet proposition is that
If you find he doesn't like the books you return
them all expenses paid and get your 90 cents back
You can't do that with your steaks now. you2"
The landlady laughed and guessed she couldn't.
AS for Mr. Whitechoker, think its up TO him to
dine with members of his congregation more fire.
quently.7 continued the Idiot.
IF he has only sxty-fve families in his cODgre-
CATION there's sixty-ive dinners already spread if he
is as popular with them he is with me. and his
breakfasts and lunches might be supplied by series
of donation parties"
4 think it can be arranged if the worst happens"
said Mr.. Whitechoker, genially. There is always
lot of pies left from Sunday school Dcnies.
too that might come in handy
Precisely smiled the idiot And like most
people actuated by the missionary spirit you used
to those internal struggles which sacrifice and pie
alike precipitate."
How about me-" asked Mr. Brief
We'll, you being successful lawyer, should have
enough scraps in your Office to keep you going. Our
Genial Friend Who Occasionally Imbibes must have
a long series of Free Lunches coming to him at this
stage of his and is the time for him
collect. Altogether don't that need fear this
beef famine at all"
You seem to have left me out of your calcua-
tons altogether said the Poet Am I to starve?''
we'll don't know" replied the Idiot. per
sonally hope not, but professiOnally-well good
many mighty fine poets have. old man. You might
do better work if you stopped eating for month.
Some people maintain that it is eating that makes
the difference between poet and pOetasteT
And what if l should de?' asked the Poet
Sir" replied the Idiot sententiOusly, death is
the first step immortality
Copyright, 1904, by K. II. Homes.)
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14
BY John Kendrick Bangs.

80 GOD morning, Doctor" said the idiot cheer
Sc fully he entered the breakfast room, and
~ picked up the morning paper. Now that
the effects of the beef strike are coming home TO
roost suppose we'll have to live hash for little
while unless beloved landIady with her ae-
custOmed foresight has provided her lardeF with a
yoke two of steers the hOOf from whom we
may cut a nice fresh steak every morning"
1T won't do you any harm to give up meat for a
little while said the Doctor. This beef strike that
we have been going through has been a blessing in
disguise People eat too much meat nowadays and
It is about time there kind of let up. I've
been thinking over your for some time past and
il has seemed TO me that you wouldn't be quite so
chesty if you beefed less and thought more"
You recommend thought for diet then?' asked
the Idiot
IN some cases, yes observed the Doctor. For
a who suffers from chronic verbOsity and fatty
degeneration Of the vocabulary thought diet would
do wonders
Good idea. that" said the Idiot Il wonder you
don't patent the idea and start a series of Quick
Lunch Rooms throughout the city where thought in
every style may be had at popular prices. Try DR..
Capsules Surprising Thought Cakes Fresh on the
GTiddle-that would make a most alluring sign to
put in the window TO attract passers-by Another
would read Is Your Liver Torpid? Come in and try
Our Mental Table DHote. Six Courses for Fifty
Cents Then you could stick up a bulletin Special
for Today: Fricassed Reflections en- Casserole and
Ideas a Ia AIaitre DHotel or on the Half-sheL' 1t
really is a splendid plan, Doctor You ought to have
it patented
He might experience some difficulty in getting
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14
The Genial Idiot Discusses Substitutes for Beet

his supplies" suggested the Lawyer Fresh
thoughts nowadays are as rare as hens teeth"
"Oh, don't know said the Idiot The fresh
ness Of thought depends entirely upon the con-
sumner. The chap who has Jared all his life on the
thought product of the Author of Medical Almanac
might regard the supply Dr.. Capsule would extract
from the writings of Plato the freshest dantest
mOrsels he had eaten. / should say very nice
dinner Of really fresh thoughts could be made up
taking your materials from range of thought pro-
viders beginning with the lighter thinkers and run
ming through the deep, deeper and deepest until
the consumer was gorged to the full with most
pleasing variety As sample, what bully piece de
resistance would be bit of Roast Schopenhauer
by some Reflections by Dick Davis on the haf-sheIl
IN place Of oysters. Paragraphs meBniere from
Izaak Walton for the fish: an Essay by Andrew Lang
cOquille for your entree and followed by Poetry
Salad made up of mixture of greens from Herrick
/ Edwin Markham John Milton and Ella Wheeler VIII
cox"
You've left out the soup suggested Mr.. Brief
We'll if you want thin soup you might boil the
proposed inaugural address of the Prohibition eandf-
date for president or ifou are after thick PURGE
David B. Hills reflections on Judge Parkers telegram
to the St Louis convention would serve the purpose
pretty WELL
I must withdraw from any connection with such
an enterprise" laughed the Doctor. Il very much
afraid that it would TO promote mental indi-
gestiOn Roast Schopenhauer stuffed with ehestnuts
from Punch alone would be a pretty tough PROPOSE
ton when it to assimilating them not to men
ton the effect upon ordinary constitution of that
Poetic salade"
There doesn't seem to be any pleasing you" said
the idiot. You advance a general proposition for
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-08-14
By George William Daley.

~ ARI-Y one spring when Jim Harrison was
laid up with cold shoulder and couldn'
play third base for the Alfalfas Josh Hap
good addressed by a stranger while returning
from game one day in which he had lost because
Reggie, whom We had tried in Jims place. had
thrown the ball over Pete Browns head on each of
his four chances. The feller about Pinch Hobbs
build. with eye that piercing sometimes but
other times dull like he loosin into his own
brains to if they workin an turnn' out new
tricks. He struck josh for job an Josh asked him
his name.
'Gonfaion Kelly, says the little Teller with the
Huh says Josh, that's baseball name-the
last of it. Wot does the first mean2
Gonfalon?' says he slappin' his chest First
an foremost, tried an true leader o. eaters
GOnfaon the bunt killer an hit gobbler. Pass along
the hot drives--he eats EN- alive. Always playin'
the inside game an he never gives up. That's me.
That's what GOnfalon means
Pretty good line O talk says Josh but kin you
play ball2 Kin you guard the third base?
' Like the great an only Collins says the new
conner. IN fact, got a little him at that. Him
an me ate beans on the plate all the while
was in Boston Course I can play third. Besides if
! don't make good you don't need TO keep me I'm
a play or pay guy My style is goods guaranteed to
satisfy or your money back Just gimme trial
so Josh said he'd try him, and GOnfalon was
turned loose among us animiles to wait till feedin'
time. And we soon found he was queer fish.
g The greatest triumphs o baseball is those o.
brains not Drawn, says he Science wins in the
great national game an brute force has to set down
in second place The big guy who only knows how
10 kill the ball has TO turn the laures TO the
little teller that chops out the pinch hit GonfalOn
Kelly believes in the tricks O. the game. An he
knows EN- all Inside play is a winner an strategy
beats dumb luck
Pinch Hobbs echoed this here sentiment an the
two got quite ehummy. Pinch was scientifically in
ellned, too, though he never got it as bad Con
Talon
we found the next day that Gonfalon Kelly vas
great shakes at third base-just ordinary guy
that could pick EN- up when they didn't come too
fast, an had pretty good throw. At she bat he'd
play for hunts an bases on balls an gettn' hit He
was free smasher. but he was tricky we was
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1904-02-22

- 19-letni szlachcic .wegierski Dun
gersky przegral W karty do posia Je-
rzego Saszelary 100000. Rodzina milo
kosa ME wyplacila posiowi przegranej
sunny, lecz ofiarowala ia ca cele do
broczynne.
= Arcybiskup nowojorski ks. Far
ley przyby1 do Rzymu i zamieszkai W
kolegium amerykanskim.
: PAM Mclaughlin re Salt Lake
City skradziono W hotelu W Mentonie
szkatuIke brylantami, wartosci
$4,000 i list kredytowy ma sumo $780,
900.
= Angielsh inzynier Ellwarthy wy
nalazf spos6b otrzymywania ozonu W
stanie czystym, bez wielkich zacho-
dow.
= Policya Petersburgu sledzi ba-
cznie "a osobami, przybywajacemi tam
bez paszport6w. Cudzoziemc6w wype-
dza "a granice.
Sultan W ten sposob pozbyf sic
jednego z najzuchwalszych rozbojni-
k6w, re udzielii mu amnestye mia
nowa1 go wyzszym oficerem.
= Politykier dr.. Boyer W Duluth
wygrai okolo 100 kapeluszy i ME vie
obecnie, co tym fantem robit.
Do Baltimore przycholowano O.
kret "Josie" przebitym bokiem.
w Coshocton, o., zadecydowaa
przeswietny sad, ae pewna jejmosc,
ktora wniosla podanie rozwod me-
zem, musi az do chwili wydania wyro-
ku, gotowa6 dla meza obiady sfac
mu l6zko.