davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
10000 Plants for ia.

ch:s Is remarkable offer the John
A. Salzer Seed Co, La Crosse. Wis.
makes. They will send you their big
plant and seed catalog, together with
enough seed to grow
1000 fine. solid Cabbages,
1000 delicious Carrots.
1000 blanching nutty Celery,
1000 rich, buttery Lettuce.
1000 splendid Onions
1000 rare. luscious Radishes,
1000 Sloriously brilliant Flowers.
This great offer is made in order to
Snouce you TO try their warranted seeds
for when you once plant them you
Will grow no others. and
ALL For But l6c POSTAGE,
providing you will return this notice.
and If you will send them zoe in post
age. they will add to the above a pack
age of the famous Berliner Cauliflower.
AW. N. U)
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
SCARED BY ENGINES WHISTLE.
Cowpuncher Couldn't Wait for Train
to Turn Around.

cowpuncher Couldn't Wait for Train
to Turn Around.
At the Hoffman House recently. Col.
Cody told this story He said
in my town out West we've recent.
ly put in new railroad, which at.
tracts 4 good deal of attention. One
day young cowpuncher from one Of
the remote ranches came into town
and there saw train for the first
time in his life. One of the boys,
knowing his ignorance. planned it so
that the cowpuncher found himself
near the track just as the far-off whis-
tie of an approaching locomotive was
heard.
THE cowpuncher soon began to
show signs of distress. His restive-
ness increased rapidly as the train ap-
preached, until, when the roar and
the blanket Of dust from the sliding
wheels enveloped him. he rose in his
stirrups, scared half to death.
The engineer. taking in the stua-
ton, leaned back out of his cab win.
dow just as the train stopped, and
shouted at the top of his lungs: Git
out of the way, you ornery cowpunch-
er; I'm goin' to turn around!
That was hint enough for the cow
puncher Slapping his spurs into the
flanks of his bronco. he was over the
hills in twinkle. The last l saw OF
him was a little red ball of the fur
thest horizon''-New York Tribune.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
Took All He Could Get,

An old tenant once took tea with a
former Duke and Duchess OF Buc-
cleuch at Drumlanrig Castle, his
grace's Dumfriesshire estate.
His first cup of tea was gone al.s
most before the duchess had poured it
out Again and again his cup was
passed along to the head of the table.
At the sixteenth cup the duchess be.
came uneasy about the supply on
hand.
How many cups do you take.
Johro" she asked.
"Iow mony do ye sie?" John asked.
cannly.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
The Red Ball.

Dame Nature now plays hostess,
Inviting one and all.
And so we put our skates on
And hio us to the ball.
Her music is the laughter
That's borne upon the breeze.
While for the bass. the North Wind
Goes booming through the trees
Her figures are the old ones
Beloved by us OF Norei
The -ights and double twisters
Upon her crystal floor.
Her favors are the red cheeks.
The sparkling eyes withal.
While often to the maidens
Some fellows heart Will fall
-NnI anlhnroh Wilson
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
The Cotton Weeyil.

The weevi, which is blasting the
cotton bolls in Texas, travelled over
200 miles across burning sands and
desolate wastes from the nearest cot
ton fields south OF the Rio Grandc
One pair of cotton boil weeviIs will
produce in season $4,000. 900 full
grown weevils. which must subsist ex-
clusively on cotton.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
LASTING RELIEF.

My nightly rest was broken. owing
to Irregularities of the kidneys. I
suffered intensely from severe pains
in the small OF my back and through
the kidneys and was annoyed by pain.
fui passages of abnormal secretions.
Doctors failed to relieve me. began
taking Doan's Kidney Pills and ex.
perienced quick and lasting relief
Doan's Kidney Pills will prove bless.
ing 20 all sufferers from kidney disor-
ders who will give them fair trial :"
Foster-Mtlburn Co. Buffalo. n. Y,
prof:iatscS. For sale by all druggists,
price q cents per box.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
ARKANSAS TRAVELLER RESPONDED.
Get Back in Rhyme at Missouri Pa
cfic's General Passenger Agent.

SCl GdCh IN hty"c d. "'Seoo''
cIfic's General Passenger Agent.
H. c. Townsend. general passenger
and ticket agent of the Missouri Pa
cific with headquarters at ST. Louis.
sent out a novel holiday greeting To
patrons of the road and was surprised
to receive response in rhyme from
a man in Arkansas. Here is the greet
ing followed by the answer;
This is the train that runs so fost
Across the plains TO mountains vast:
This Is the train that's never late,
And keeps its service up to date.
This IL the train that runs out West.
And takes you there for work or rest:
OF mountains high and cnnons grand:
This is a true hotel On wheels.
It serves to you the best of meals:
This IL the train with lowest rate
st. Louis to the Golden Gate.
II YOU should wish 10 go that way.
See II. 6. Townsend. G.. p, a,
This is what the Arkansas traveller
wrote in response:
II. e. Townsend. 6 2. A.
] received your card to-day.
And I'm writing now to say
That your trains A!-t. Is.
I'm reG'lar passenger
And I'm here to tell you sir
tPlcas" don't take this as II pun-
All your trains are up to snuu-
Strictly In it-just the stun
Makes me restless when | read
OF the comfort and the speed
Want to pack my clothes and skip
On that train-G""' What "A trip
Feed you like millionaire
Goshi Just read that !llaOf-flr.,
Tendor steaks. well done or Tnrr.
Game and things from everywhere.
Salads deserts. roifec. cake
Wow! 1t makes my stomach ache.
And the ratcs-Tll swear to you,
Sam" as cutting naught in two
,Shamc to take such service cheap
Ought TO max. US pay a heap
Guess I've said about enough.
every word Is Stfnlght-nu guND
SO I'll sign myself. with care:
Truly yours, a. PASSESJAlRE-
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
How Mackay Won Pool

WIS so full of his scheme to scienti-
fcally capture the 1000 pool-for
1n"re were ten cntries-that he com
I-1nicated ii to "A young aSsayer who
"as not a grasshopper Dlunger. The
Irufessor had experimental and as
cHtained that a grasshopper that was
tUuchcd by feather dipped in a weak
Tuition of acqua ammonia would
ump for his life. The young man
q experimental, and as result he
fled a bottle Of the same size and aD
Trance with cyanide of potassium
and managed to substitute it for the
utGcr in the professors laboratory.
Tie next day. when the professor,
gter much boasting about his scienti-
hr attainments. dipped a feather in
b." substituted bottle and touched his
.a oct with it, the grasshopper rolled
uHo. as dead as a salt mackerel amid
fr roars of the crowd. Mackay's hop
u.r won the big pool, and two widows,
lose husbands had been killed in
ru" yellow Jacket Mine. received Il
-.r of $500 each from an unknown
-.urce.-San Francisco Call.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
Can This Be True?

4 member of the last Legislature
who had been elevated to his high sta
tion through machine methods. trav-
eled to Harrisburg a few days in al-
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

Gentleman ,to peddler)-Call these
safety matches? Why. they won't light
at all! Peddler-Well. wot could yer
ave safer?
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

yauce OF the opening session, says the
Philadelphia Ledger. No one knew
n at the capital. and he wandered
ont to Capitol Hill TO look at the seat
al government. He was anxious to
learn. and so, accostng workman in
IT," building. requested to be shown
Tie points of interest.
Well" said the Iworkman. as he
CHened door. this is the senate
DuamSer"
The stranger muttered Him.
Come this way. now the guide
mnntinued. and he opened another door
Nhis is the House of Represents
t-.es."
For a few moments the new mem.
."r seemed lost in contemplation
Zen he turned to the workman.
say" he remarked impatiently,
"Hem rooms is all right, but want 10
where the Legislature meets
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

DO you like going to school, John
hy?' asked the visitor. Yes. SIR" an
swered the truthful urchin. and | like
coming home. too. but don't like stay
ing there between times"
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
Mother ar.ys Sweet Powder, for chtldrs.

Successfully used by Mother Gray, nurss
IN the Childrens Home in New York. cure
Constipation, Feverishness. Bad Stomach.
Teething Disorders. move and regulate the
Bowels and Destroy Worms. Over 80. 600 tes-
timonials. At all Druggists. 25c. Sample
EREE. Address A. S. Olmsted, Leroy NY.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

Defiance Starch is guaranteed big.
Ecst and best or money refunded. Is
ounces, 10 cents. Try it now.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

The two greatest fodder plants on
earth, one good for IA tons hay and the
other 80 tons green fodder per acre
Grows everywhere. so does Victoria
Rape, yielding 10000 lbs. sheep and
swine food per acre.
JUST SEND l0c IN STAMPS TO THE
John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse
Wis, and receive in return their big
catalog and lots OF farm seed samples
wv. N. u
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
reosinte and billion polI.r Or,

A bad egg. like bad news. should be
broken gently.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

II man has no ear for music he car
ST least use it as pen rack.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
A Chance for Good Farmers.

We are settling a tract of 10000 acres Of
Ina ,, rod IN IN. san i,Gls vale whGTe inhTe
kali. good markets. all tho land on Il
bgoaa gauge railway. We want q few
good farmers to show what the land Will
do. To men who have tools stock ana
cash enough to make a start we will sell
land on especially easy terms. provided
they will 20 down and begin work this
spring. Write to-day and toll us what
payment YOU can make down on " ,n 100
hcr"s. Prices range from 81 to $40 per
acre. The Colorado Bureau Of Immigra-
ton. I"ph Chas. Felt. president GIG Ma
Jcstic building. Denver. colo.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

II YOU have smoked "A Bulihead scent
cigar you know how good they are: II
you have not. better try one.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES arc
fast to light and washing.

How long shall / boil the eggs.
ma amp asked the cook. Il don't exact
ly know. replied the young housewife.
but cook them until they are real ten
der.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

/. you step on Il banana peel II "a a sign
of an early fall.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

He-The injured woman must have
been out shopping She-Impossible.
She had money in her purse.
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

snt you readily So" that If our suits were,
II AZ rnpre-rn nted we could not afford 10 make and
ship them without u deposit. We are the only mail
hous. that will II you prefer To sc" samples
of our SUITS writ. for same. We refer you to the
Central $ wings Bank Of Denver. Colo. Capital
stock tLuOJ.
LAPIDUS MFG. co. I1I. 18th st. Denver
The Grit-advocate., 1904-01-29

The animals" Eve sighed and said
II haven't counted since we've hstt '"m
Tn" cunning serpent bent his head
And smiled. Let Adam add 'em.
ruaIa
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-05-02
A Deferred Restitution,

A pig belonging to widow named
Murphy mysteriously vanished ono
night. and Pat Hennessy. a ne'er-dO-
well. was suspected of having had
something to do with it's disappear
ance. He denied all knowledge Of the
pig. however, and as there was no evi-
dence against him he was allowed to
go free; but at Mrs. Murphy's instiga-
ton. the priest went to see him.
Pat said the priest, III you've no
fear of the law In this world. Mt least
give thought to the hereafter When
you're before the Judgment Seat. what
are you going to say about that plg?"
"Shure, l dunno" replied Pat Evil
they be after askin' about tn pig in
PurgatOry. yer Riverince?"
They WILL" said the priest.
will Mrs. Murphy he there, yer
Riverince?"
Yes, Pat"
An the Pig"
Yes. Pat"
"Shure. III wait an give 1t to her
thin. yer Riverince. "-Woman's Home
Companion.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-05-02

never would remember the words, any
how so they don't count
We'll. what does count. anyway"
retorted Tipping Marc Antony spite
fully.
The looks" said Polly. land the
tone and the attitude
/ | gave Mare Antony the first lash he
ever had.
What attitude. Miss Lee?" | asked
in cold. hard voice.
THE mental attitude" answered
Polly without the culver of an eyelasll.
land the mental atmosphere. Oh it's
something you can't explain. ut most
inine logic. There isn't any -xpiana-
ton and you can't prove it, but it's
true just the same
There is" said I. Just about five
dollars difference between feminine
logic and masculine logic
II don't understand" said Polly
II mean" said l. that there is five
dollars difference between Bobby Fad
dingtons logic and your logic"
please explain" pOuted Polly.
you're always so intricatc.''
"FOr instance went on. when
Bobby Paddington bet me five dollars
this morning that he would carry his
Irritation with you to the point of pro
posing within twenty-four hours
Mr.. Heavyfeather" exclaimed Pol
~ sitting up perfectly straight. You
dOn't-mean to say-BObby Padding
ton knew | was engaged to you.''
"Oh. yes: | told him all about that
only this morning" replied nonchal-
antly.
| Polly was looking straight ahead of
eyes.
And as remarked to you.'
went on. slipping my arm across the
back OF the sleigh and glancing side
wise at Polly. Bobby Paddington
would take any sort Of Il hedge. even
il he knew it was brick wall
| Polly didn't even notice my arm. AS
she leaned back into the depths OF 1t
and the sleigh with a long breath.
there were tears of modification in her
eyes.
"Then.' she said. looking pathetital-
ly up at me- "he was only flirting
with me-al the--time!'
| Polly. dear" said |. bending over
and kissing the top of the fur cap soft
iy. land what We're you doingT-I
en- Rowland in Washington Post
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-05-02
LITTLE GIRLS STOCK DEAL.
They Disposed Of Shares for Big Pric
Before Break.

They Disposed Of Shares for Big Price
| Before Break.
| A story told Mt Union Pacific head
quarters shows that the children of
| w. II. Bancroft. the new general man
ager Of that line. seem to have lnher-
tied some of their fathers business
sagacity. says the Omaha correspond
ent Of the New York Herald
| Mr.. BancrOft's daughters, aged 10
and - years. were visiting him at his
office in Salt Lake City one day. A
lnan came in who desired to sell their
papa some mining stock. Mr.. Bancroft
did not take kindly to the proposition.
but after the man had labOred some
| time with the general manager one of
the little girls spoke up and said:
Papa. wish you would buy some
Of the stock for me: the mine has such
a pretty name
The other little girl chimed in ut this
juncturc and expressed desire for
| some Of the certificates on the same
grOunds-that the name appealed to
her.
The father responded that if they
| were willing to give up their savings
| they might be the proud possessOrs of
a block OF the stock. This they agreed
to do and the deal was made. One Of
the children secured 500 worth and
the other $50.
Time wore on and both children and
the father had forgotten the stock deal,
when one day man appeared nj the
house and stated that he had come to
buy the stock in case the owners were
willing to part with it. They both con
sidered the matter and talked it over
between themselves. finally deciding
that they would not sell for the price
| offered. which would net them about
$50 each.
In short time another man appear
ed on the scene and tried to buy the
stock at $3.50. but both girls refused
| the offer. A week later an offer Of $500
each was made by the same man.
When the last offer came n long con-
sultation was held and decision was
reached to sell. The buyer paid the
money and il went into the girls bank
accounts.
A few days later Mr.. Bancroft spoke
Of the stock, it having been brought to
his attention in some manner at the
dinner table saying
| ~ see by the quotations that the
stock you bought in the mine that day
ut my Office is worthless. The vein has
played out"
| Eyes. but. papa responded both OF
the girls in chorus I'VE have sold out. "
Great was the amusement Of the
father when he learned Of the transac-
ton which had taken place about Two
DAYS before the mine was declared
worthless.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-05-02
Making Draft Horses.


There is one thing that the man who
is trying to raise big horses should
not overlOok-and that is plenty of
food for the colts A draft-bred colt
that has not enough to eat Will not
make draft horse--he will he a
chunk of some grade. not heavy
enough for draft horse Some peo-
pie claim that draft colts will not re-
quire any more feed than colts of a
lighter breed. That is an error. They
do require more. but not so much in
proportion to their size as does the
light horse, because they are Of a
quiet disposition and put more Of their
feed into growth and less into exer-
else or nervous fretting than the light
horse. But no big horse will be pro-
duced if the feed is lacking Give the
colts enough to keep them growing.
and they will pay a good price for all
they eat when the time comes to sell
them. At sale in Ohio last week
draft geldings coming 4 years old sold
to feeders at $500 to $3.50 head. When
feeders can afford to pay such prices
for horses to fatten for market there
is nothing wrong with the draft horse
business. But there were no stunted
colts in the bunch that sold for these
figures.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-05-02
CAN'T GET At THE WEevll.
Pest Of Southern Cotton Pianters De'
fee Effort at Its l xter m inati

Pest Of Southern Cotton Planters DC.
fec Effort at Its l xter m ina ton.
For some time past W. ID. Hunter,
boil weevil expert in the service OF the
Agricultural Department. has been In
vestiga ting the ha bits Of the pest. with
view to devising means for its extir-
patton. In report just issued as an
emergency bulletin he says the work
Of his division for several years mas
demonstrated that there is not even
remote probability that the boil weev'i
ever will be exterminated" The bul'e-
tin adds
although the very large yields OF
cotton of former times may no longer
be possible 1t Is. nevertheless. entire
ly feasible to produce cotton al mar
gin Of profit that will compare tavora-
bly, with that involved In the produc-
ton Of most OF the staple crops OF the
United States by following what have
become known generally as the cul-
tured methods. involving changes and
modifica tons of the system of cotton
raising made necessary by the weevil.
They were originally suggested by
ca reful study OF the life history of the
pest. and naturally any Improvements
that may eventually be made will be
the result of the continuation or that
study. They have now been tested
successfully on a large scale by the d.
vision Of entomology as well as by
many planters during two very unfa-
vora BILE seasons. or greatest advan-
tage Is the reducing Of the number Of
the weevils by the destruction OF the
plants in the fall. The advantage thus
"a aimed is followed up by bending every
effort toward procuring an early crop
the following season"
The changes in the cotton-raising
system urgently recommended are:
Early planting with seed from as far
north as possible: thorough cultivation
of the fields. which influences the con-
sta Mt growth and consequent early ma
turing Of the crop: planting the rows
as far apart as feasible and thorough
thinning out of the plants in the rows:
destruction. by blowing up. windrow-
ing and burning of all the cotton stalks
in the fields as soon as the weevi,s
become SO numerous that practically
all the fruit Is being punctured. thus
destroying the very great proportion OF
weevils developing late in the autumn.
and extensive use Of fertilizers. so as
to procure earlier crops.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-05-02
Sanitary Straw Hog House,

The best hoghouse on earth is made
by setting two rows of fence posts one
foot in ground and four feet apart one
way, and one post length apart. the
other way. SO posts may he used for
stringers on top. Put cord wood cross
wise on top of stringers and build
straw pile over all, leaving hole in one
end big enough for hog TO enter
They will all follow In and complete
interior arrangement of house to suit
their hoggish artistic taste
This house will always be dry and
comfortable and will save many a
heated argument with the hired man
aDout cleaning out and bedding the
hogs Hogs can be fed out of DOORS
or a board feeding room may be built
at one end of stack with door be-
tween. In summer, pull out posts and
burn straw hoghOuse. haul out refuse
and build new each year. Then you
will have healthy hogs. avoid mango
and many other parasites. winter
30 hogs every year in this kind of a
house.-A. A. Andrews, North Dakota
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1904-05-02

from my dngers and let the whip
fall with a thud into the snow.
why. what Is the natter" asked
Polly. at isn't p lite to be surprised
when a girl gets proposed to. 1t looks
as IL you had thought she couldn't -"
'Oh, it isn't that" said |. Anybody
could get proposed to by Bobby Pad
dingtOn-and in leap year"
Pooh" said Polly as | stepped into
the sleigh and tucked the robe around
her. Leap year has nothing to do
with thor Bobby Paddington. either
If girl has really made up her
mind Leap year merely gives her a
privilege which woman can take
whenever she likes It's like the kiss
under the mistletoc, entirely a Joke
You wouldn't dare kiss any girl under
the mistletoe whom you wouldn't dare
kiss anywhere else. And no girl would
think Of asking a man to marry her on
leap year. or at any other tme-ihat
is. no girl with a particle of common
sense or delicacy."
"Or wOmanluess, | declared
"Or knowledge OF men," said Polly.
"Or breeding
''Or experience
Il wonder" said |, iii any woman
ever did use that leap-year privilege. =
Never" said Polly. since she has
had the every year privilege OF max
ing man propose to her. 1t would
have been so very unnecessary. ANY
woman who uses little tact and sets
out to can get a proposal The differ
ence between proposing herself and
making a man propose to her is the
difference between using whip and
spur You don't have to whip a horse
that is. horse worth haviny-do
you? But you do often have to spur
him when you come to a jump. A man
is like horse: he hates Il whip. but he
minds a spur"
'Oh. | see.'' said I. rhuckling to
Mare Antony until the sleigh sped over
the frozen road; "a proposal Is ike a
hedge A fellow wants to get over it,,
but he Is afraid OF what is on the
other side. He may land In tangle-
or he may get cold water dousing'
''Or he fancies there might be ditch
somewhere"
or trap" | suggested gently.
Exactly" said Polly. land that is
why it meets little mental sugges.
ton from the girl to spur him on. II
SHE attempts to drive him with a whip
he balks. But mental suggestion---"
THAT isn't anything llke-hypno-
tism-is 1t. Polly"
well little" acknowledged