New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1904-11-14

been the possessor of $500. He had made 1t by
picking up the ends OF cigarettes and cigars. doing
up the tobacco in one-cent packages and sellns
them to the inmates of cheap lodging houses
THE INQUIsITIvE JUROR.
OF all the nuisances under the skies
The one 10 my mind takes the prize
Is the man who would fam lawyer be.
/ I'M mean the e'' chump who eternay knocks
From his distant seat in the he jury y- box too
And gives the stenographer more to do
T Whiie 1 Crying fns H case That SOUNDS in tort
But he gallops away and holds the fort
question of fact or question of law
Never escapes from his cavernous nav;
But he bangs away. for his ideas large
Are away ahead OF a Judges S charge. .u,oa,,
And he rends the air with Joyous squeals:
While np the HORNED courtroom takes its heels.
What he was made de for Go s sRy hose
Which. though It won't work, gives him lots OF fun
AS his vanishing audience cut and run
His brain is nebulous, foggy and slow,
But his tongue and his Jaw keep on the so.
He rarely uses proper word ,, ,,r,,r,
HIS notions Are bn7s nS b o0e In a 6ere
While counsel can only sweat and swear:
To get things into hopeless tangle.
He knows no more than an old coal barge.
And really never should be at large
He takes the case from the counsels hands.
or guess and suspicion. Of may and perhaps.
He finally dumps IT into the laps
OF his fellow jurors, who know no more
At the end Of the case than they dd before;
Aed EneP to they be the ntQ wh nS dasd
He wants TO decide the case himself
And returning to court With boundless pride
He hears his verdict set aside!
-(Charles S. Requa, in The Trademark Record
well known artist was once engaged upon
sacred picture. according to Mainly About Peo-
pie" A very handsome old model named Smith
sat for the head of st. Mark. Artist and model
became great friends. but when the picture
finished they lost sight of one another One day,
however the artist wandering about the Zoolog
cal Gardens, came upon his old model. with a
broom IN his hand. looking very disconsolate.
"Hullo. Smith" said he you don't look very
CHEEKY. What you doing now?" We'll, 1
amt dom much. sir. and that's q fact. I'm
gagged in these ere gardens a-cleantn' hout the
helephants' stables nice occupation for o.
the twelve apostles. amt 1t. sr?'
Presence OF Mind-The Judge-You plead guilty.
then Of running your at speed Of nifty
severely injuring an old man?
The Prisoner (meeklyl-I do your honor ,,.
The Prisoner.But, your honor. I own the car
The Judse@Humph! why didn't you say so be-
fore? Pay five dollars and git outS(Puck
Available figures go TO show that In the twenty
years between 1880 1900 there 27ss strikes
which the country in wages, expense and direct
loss OF trade nearly SfUO.O0OOUO. IN the time
there were little over thousand lockouts cost
ing nearly $1o0000O00. These three items of loss by
no means represent its full extent. 1t would be a
fair computation TO estimate equal lost
directly and indirectly by the general public be-
cause OF the strikes They would exhibit total OF
s. 600 600 900 for the twenty years. and would I'M
doubtedy be within, instead OF beyond. the mark.
Strikes and wars about the costleSt experiences
which modern society go through. and they are
alike in this that far remedy has been found
for either the or the other.
The clever DR. Ritchie. of Edinburgh. met with
He said: And you attend the class for mathe-
matlcSr
Yes"
How many sides has circle?'
Two" said the student.
What theyT
What a laugh in the class the Students answer
produced when he said: AN inside and out
But this was nothing compared with what fol-
lowed. The doctor said TO the student: And you
attend the moral philosophy class alsof"
Yes"
Well you would hear lectures on, various sub
jects. Did you hear one on cause and aNect2"
Yes
Does en- effect go before a oause9"
Yes"
"Glve an instance"
"a wheeling a barrow"
The doctor sat down and proposed no more quss-
tions.-(1he Providence Journal