davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Louis Republic., 1904-12-11
rsssanx . Practical JSker.

Nsw york's all too well known prac-
ueai Jokr. Brian q. Hughes, owes his
rtputedou-part Of II. At least-to a care
fully planned practical Joke on some un-
euspece1n& frisndA He actually went to
ths tsUuAis TO boz up . harmless little
powder. which was LABELLED Poison to
Aoaohsa." and this he distributed widely
afnAng his friends. Each package con-
tAinsd . siip announcing that the second
box Of The preparation would Be infailIble
A numher Of people were induced to ask
for this box. The second box contained
Che following directions:
'sFirst catch the roach. then hold 1t
firmly and tickle it with feather till it
laughs, then drop some Of the powder
down its throat and choke It"
The St. Louis Republic., 1904-12-11
No Disguise,

Bing: ''The railroad companies are
brsxen robbers"
BunS: "Quite so-they don't even take
tie trouble to cover their trackA"
The St. Louis Republic., 1904-12-11

Finally. ons q shsn v0G Ss1 b tAs
quarters of Tie cfev 10 lsasA - reason.
I ~. afsa't ~ gong - SFssl1os to-
dAyr'
no, sfr
why not?
Then the brave life ssvse. ARo q many
rough seas. made IN explanatory sssturs
toward the weather and sid:
what, IN this rainr:-Yookafo Cbn-
panioo.
Returned VIM TAaA1A
n hapDened long ago when NAfk Twin
was an editor IN the West. ThO AogntnGs
mail had brought . bfil ffum his taller.
NOT IN UNUSUAL occurfsnoe. TAo boz who
went through the mail called the future
humoffsts attention to n
And" added the boy. he has Vfitt0
On the back that hs wants . sstfiansut at
once"
You should know what % % VA such
COPY without asaktnG" aid M. Twain.
'1ncaose Il with the regular printed slip
stating that all manuscripe written On
both sides Of the paper h unavailable"
The St. Louis Republic., 1904-12-11

Tho story is told by President Hadley
Of Yale University. who enjoys a good
story none the less II he himself Be the
victim. Mr.. Hadley was travelling in Yel-
lowstone Park when he CHANGED upon a
young man whom from his appearance he
judged to Be q student.
This is q wonderful scene isn't it7'
said the professor.
The stranger smiled. nodded to his ques-
toner and turned without speaking to look
At tho view.
DO you think" asked President Hadlsy.
now confirmed in his idea that hs was
talking to q student, that this chasm was
caused by some great upheaval of nature
or is it the result Of erosion or glacial ac-
ton? What are your views"
'My views" said the stranger quickly,
opening bag he carried containing photo
graphs, ARE only 81 dozen and are cheap
at the price. Let mo show you some sam
PIES"
The St. Louis Republic., 1904-12-11
A Sin Of Health.

There's only one good thing about that
young puppy that came to see you last
night" said the irascible father. '.and
that is he's healthy"
I'm surprised to hear you admit thas
much" replied the dutifui daughter.
Il wouldn't except for the fact that
when you met him in the hall last night
heard you say, oh. George how cold
your nose Isl Cincinnati Com rrial
Trihma
The St. Louis Republic., 1904-12-11
He Never Said II.

you say. do you. that the two shots
you heard were fired simultaneously? p
asked tho lawyer Of an old negro on the
witness stand.
mo. sab: no. sab; passed no such 10
n1ahk.'
what did you say?"
Il done said dey was both fred at Do
Same time; dats what said, sahr'
The St. Louis Republic., 1904-12-11

ola o0A, How Do yuu lfks your step
aaamnA. Jehnnier
JoAnuis: '-oh. dns and dandy. I ate .
Jar q plums yesterday and she blamed It
on the hired GIRL"
SnsaA .. Anthsny On Divorce.
At rsosnt meeting Of the Minerva Club
q New York, which Is composed largely
q ofoSFossive women and club women, the
ouAlk1on q the relation between the
church and divorA. which 10 occupying -
much ef the publio's attention Just now.
wls naturally the subject Of moro sr lsss
informal talk among some Of the mem
bsrs.
''susan b Anthony hit the nan fairly On
the head several years ago." said one
member In . confidential chat With little
ootef1a o. friends, which was not to 20 one
BIT further. ''She said then that the divorce
court ms to the American woman what
CanAda was 70 tho fugitive dave nifty
yeafs aso. Well. the Episcopal Church
seams 70 b of about the same opinion"
And ths ether Members said. "Indeedr'
The San Francisco call., 1904-02-21

King. and which Malcolm Macleod
built for him."
1T is not very likely. when I issued
a proclamation commencing Malcolm
as the greatest shipbuilder in the
world"
We'll, Malcolm has arrived at Dun
veg2n to receive into his own hands
once more that same proclamation.
1 asked him. in MacLeod's presence,
if the fleet still fingered in Torridon
Bay, and he answered that it did.
Macleod pricked up his ears at this
and thinking that he was to get some
information. now that proposed my
self as member of his family. in
quired il i knew why it remained so
long. 1 said I had a suspicion of the
cause. If Malcolm had not replied to
the Kings proclamation it was nat
ural that the fleet would wait until he
did. Old Alexander and Malcolm
seemed surprised that a response was
expected, Malcolm being but a simple
yeoman. However. he wrote out a
courteous reply to the King, in Gaelic.
and Malcolmsis to send it to the fleet
as soon as he returns TO the northern
coast"
Il don't see how that is to help u.s.
demurred his Majesty.
Here is my proposal. If you will
now write out an order to the admiral
commanding the fleet to appear before
Dunvegan castle. Will ride part of
the way home with Malcolm and sue
gest to him at parting that perhaDs
none OF the officers of the feet under
stand Gaelic. or at least that none can
read it, so l viii fasten your letter to
the other document and tell Malcolm
1t is translation OF his Gaelic effu-
sion- Neither Malcolm nor any of his
friends at the port can read English
and as he is supplemented man il
is not likely that he will return and
allow the laird a perusal So in that
way we may get word to the fleet.
Even If the letter Is discovered Won
will have kept your word, for YOU
promised only not to communicate
with Stirling"
The King pronounced the device a
The San Francisco call., 1904-02-21

me that If 1 welded the daughter Of
your jailer 1 may have enough infu-
ence with the family to secure your
Majesty's release"
Il have no doubt" said the King,
that this was your object from the
beginning. And so you have exchanged
temporary jailer for one that will last
you all your life."
The Highlander knit his brow and
compressed his lips, as if to hold back
some retort which later he might re-
gret. There was a moments con-
strained silence, then the King flung
off his i'll humor as If it were a cloak.
Forgive me-, jamie" he cried.
springing To- his feet. Forgive the
wounded vanity of the vanquished."
He extended his hand impetuously,
which the other grasped with eager
cordiality.
Jamie, my lad. you were right.
The crown weighs heavy when it is
thrown into the scale, but with this
lassie well believe itwould have made
not an ounce OF difference. Let the
best man win. say 1, and you're the
victor, so you have my warmest con-
graduation. STILL Jamie, you must
admit that the Gaelic is the cursedest
lingo ever a poor lowland-b bred man
tried to get his tongue around. So.
now you see. Jamie, we are even
again. You think the crown defeated
you at Stirling. and I hold the Ian
guage defeated me in Skye; thus we
are both able to retain a good opinion
of ourselves, which is the splendid
privilege Of every Scotchman. to hold
Your bravery deserves success, for it
requires some courage to face your fu-
ture father-in-law. What did the old
curmudgeon say?''
He gave little indication OF pleas
ure or the reverse. He offered me my
liberty, now that l had pledged it in
another direction. but he refused to
release you. SO 1 declined to accept his
clemency."
Not so. I have more immediate
and practical remedy. You have not
forgotten the twenty-six-oar barge
which the Macleod was to keep fo< the
The San Francisco call., 1904-02-21

tnat II, when you pass your words, you
attempt to tamper with any of my men
/ shall know of il very soon, and then
comes the dungeon
What do you say, MacDonald?" in
quired the King sharply.
Macdonald recovered himself with a
start. ITO what?" he asked.
ITO the terms proposed by our Jail
4 did not hear them; what are
they?"
viii you give your word not to es-
cape?"
"Oh. willingly"
And not to communicate with Stir
ling?"
Il don't care if I never see Stirling
again"
The King turned to the chief. There
is little difficulty, you see." he said,
with your fellow Highlander. l. how
ever am supposed to be a Lowlander,
and therefore cautious. L give you my
word not to communicate with Stirling.
As for the other proviso, 1 amend it as
follows: ] shall not leave this island
without your knowledge and your COM
pany. If that is satisfactory, 1 pledge
my faith"
Perfectly satisfactory" answered
Macleod. and with that the two young
men took their departure
once more in the Kings room. from
which earlier in the day they had set
out so confidently, Macdonald flung
himself upon a bench, but the King
paced up and down the apartment.
Jamie, you hardly gave me fair play,
you and your Gaelic. with that dainty
offspring of SO grim a SIRE
master of RalIenCeich " renliad tho
Highlander, "a man plays for his own
The San Francisco call., 1904-02-21

hand. You should have learned that
Gaelic long ago"
The King stopped abruptly in his.
walk. why do you call me by that
name?"
Merely to show that in this play the
royal prerogative is not brought into
play; it is already settled that when L
meet the King 1 am defeated. 1t re-
mains to be seen what luck James Mac
Donald has in a contest with plain
James Stuart"
"Oh. it's to be contest. them"
mot unless you wish it so. / am
content to exchange all the fair dam
sells Of Stirling for this one Highland
lassie.''
You'll exchanged" cried the King. II
make bold to say she is not yours to
exchange"
II intend to make her mine"
"Ah. We'll see about that jamie
I'VE will, Ballengeich.' said MacDon-
aid with confident precision.
The girl was at first equally charm
ing to each. The serious Highlander,
not less manly and handsome than his
competitor, was gifted with an i'm
measure BILE advantage in his familiar
ity with every phase and infection of
his native vernacular. In his despair
the King struck up a close friendship
with Donald, the second son of the
Macleod, and his Majesty made
frantic effort to learn the only speech
with which his new comrade was
equipped. But this race against time
gave Macdonald long and uninterrupt-
ed conferences with his inamorata, and
The San Francisco call., 1904-02-21

the King saw, too late, the futility of
his endeavor He had come to the con-
= ~clusion that his unintereSting rambles
with Donald were not likely to further
his quest, and was sitting in his room
cogitating upon some new method or
attack when Macdonald burst into the
apartment with radiant face. The
King looked up at his visitor with no
great good nature, and said sharply
Well, what is it?"
Your Majesty cried Macdonald,
jubilantly. Il think l have found a
method of escape and that without in
any way ;impugning our pledges"
"Oh, is that ALL said the King, with
the air of snubbfng too enthusiastic
courtier. Il thought the house was
on fire."
And ! thought, your Majesty" re-
turned Macdonald, that this subject
was ever uppermost in your mind"
The King rested his closed fist on his
hip. leaned his head little to one side
and examined his rival critically.
why have you returned so unex-
pectedly to the phrase, your Majesty?'
Because. your Majesty answered
Macdonald, laughing, the phrase,
Guidman of Ballengeich. no longer
matters"
4 do not understand you"
1t is to make myself understood that
l have come so hurriedly. 1 beg. then,
to inform your Majesty that Miss Mac
Leod has consented to become my wife.
1 have spoken to her father. who has
somewhat grudgingly and conditional
ly given his consent. 1t occurred to
The San Francisco call., 1904-02-21

Copyright by Robert Barr)
II ING JAMES VI OF Scotland, at
~ tempting an incognito c.
n plcraton OF the Highlands
together with his companion
Tonopah bonanza. [volume] (Butler City [i.e. Butler], Nev.) 1901-1909, 1904-10-01
TONOPAH BONANZA.
SATURDAY, OCTOBER l, 1904
Lucky or Opportunity?


Accident, or what some are pleased
to call luck" plays an important
part in the lives and fortunes of men.
But we opine that the secret of sue
cess is due far more often to the art
Of grasping opportunities, Selling the
time when the "tide in the affairs of
men, is at its flood, and floating on
it to fortune.
1t is well known that Morris Gug-
%genheim, the father of the Guggen-
helm brothers, who at the head of
the American Smelling and Refining
company, made the nucleus of his
immense fortune in Leadville, but
few know the circumstances which
made the poor merchant a millionaire.
A friend of G%uggenheim's named
Chas. H. Graham, who is now en-
gagged in mining in L~eadville, went
to that camp in 1879 and discovered
that the A. Y. and Minnie prospect
was to be sold and could be bought
for So, 1000. Graham had 50, 500 and
made arrangements for the remain
der of the money. The man owning
the second half Of the purchase price
lacked sufficient nerve to make the
investment, and to Morris Guggeu-
helm Graham told his troubles. Gug-
genheim agreed to furnish the money.
The subsequent history Of the mine
is familiar to Coloradoans. To others
it might be stated that the mine
proved to be the richest in the Lead
vile camp and while operated by
superintendent Of Graham's selec.
ton, made over 50, 900, 600. Within
the past two years the mine was
leased to the Guggenheim Nicholson
Rodman syndicate and is still paying
its owners $40, 900 under lease, hav.
ing been a steady producer for
twenty four years. The vast profits
made in this venture caused Mr..
Guggenheim to abandon his eastern
business, the building Of the smelling
plant at Pueblo followed, and that
So, 600 investment, coupled with what
might be termed extraordinary bus.
mess judgment, has resulted in the
accumulation of some $50, 900, OOO.-
Mining Reporter.
Tonopah bonanza. [volume] (Butler City [i.e. Butler], Nev.) 1901-1909, 1904-10-01
Political Announcement.

Announcements under this head viii be pub.
lished up TO the General Election for $40, pay.
able invariably in advance,
Tonopah bonanza. [volume] (Butler City [i.e. Butler], Nev.) 1901-1909, 1904-10-01
DONALD
The New superintendent of the
MOntana-Tonopah.

Donald B. Gillies who has been ap-
pointed superintendent and general
manager OF the Montana Tonopah
mine, was born in Scotland little more
than thirty years ago, and was
brought 10 America a few years
after, He graduated as a mining
engineer at the Houghton school of
mines, Michigan, and went to Butte,
Montana, in 1892, where he secured
employment with Heinze at the NJ.
O. 7. Smelter. From there he went
to the assay Office Of the Parrot
company, and from there was en-
gagged as mining engineer to the
Clark properties Of which he suisse
quently became superintendent. He
has since acted in a like capacity for
the Parrot company, the Farrell
mines at Tintic and for the last five
years has been general su~perintend.
ent Of the Pittsburgh Montana mine
at Butte. The stockholders OF the
Montana Tonopah are to be congrat-
ulated on the fact that the manage
ment of this great mine has been
entrusted to such a capable man.
Tonopah bonanza. [volume] (Butler City [i.e. Butler], Nev.) 1901-1909, 1904-10-01
A Judicious Inquiry.

A well known travelling man who
visits the drug trade says he has
often heard druggists inquire of Gus
toners who asked for a cough medi-
cine, whether it vas wanted for a
child or for an adult, and If for a child
they almost invariably recommend
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy. The
reason for this is that they know
there is no danger from it and that
it always cures. There is not the
least danger in giving it, and for
coughs, colds and Group it is unsur.
passed. For sale by all druggists. =
Tonopah bonanza. [volume] (Butler City [i.e. Butler], Nev.) 1901-1909, 1904-10-01
Humboldt Mines.

The old De Soto mine which adj
joins the Sheba mine in Humboldt
county has been sold to a company
Of Salt Lake and Houghton, Mich,
capitalists, In the days when silver
was worth 81 20 per INT the mine
produced over So, 900, 600, ard it is
said that there is an immense amount
Of payable milling + now blocked
out to treat which a mill viii be in
stalled.
Tonopah bonanza. [volume] (Butler City [i.e. Butler], Nev.) 1901-1909, 1904-10-01
How to Cure Corns and Bunions

First, soak the corn or bunion in
warm water to soften it; then pare
it down as closely as possible without
drawing blood and apply Chamber
lain's Pain Balm twice daily, rubbing
vigorously for five minutes at each
application. A corn plaster should
be a few days to protect it
from the shoe. AS a general liniment
FOR sprains, bruises, lameness and
rheumatism, Pain Balm is unequaled.
For sale by all druggists.
Tonopah bonanza. [volume] (Butler City [i.e. Butler], Nev.) 1901-1909, 1904-10-01
WESTERN UNION COMPANY.
The Great Telegraph Line VIII
Build to TOnOpah and GOldfieId

tAAA
On Friday last there arrived in
Tonopah Frank Jaynes, general
superintendent of the Pacific coast
system of the Western Union tele-
graph company, and F. Fl. Lamb,
manager and superintendent of the
San Francisco office of that company.
This visit was partly brought about
by the vigorous complaints made by
prominent business men in Tonopah
and Goldield about the present in
efficient service and the current
exorbitant rates charged for mes
sages from Tonopah and Goldfeld to
Sodaville. Undoubtedly the building
of the new line now nearly completed
also influenced them. Their ignor-
nee Of the two camps was either
assumed or painful in the extreme,
and they pretended not to know that
every broker here and in Goldfeld
expends from $500 to 5000 per month
in wires with very little satisfaction
for his money, and did not know that
Tonopah and Goldfeld stocks we're
listed on the San Francisco and Salt
Lake Exchanges.
Mr.. Janynes said that the Western
Union would as quickly as possible
build into Tonopah with heavy red
wood poles and standard guage cop
per wire and make a forty cent rate
to San Francisco. The gentlemen
left again on Saturday and their visit
will probably result in a reduction of
rates at once. 1t will not affect the
new line now being built which will be
rushed through to Goldfeld and Gold
Crater as quickly as possible. The
Western Union will not build to Gold
field until the railroad reaches there.
Tonopah bonanza. [volume] (Butler City [i.e. Butler], Nev.) 1901-1909, 1904-10-01

The famous Franco American hy-
gienic toilet requisites for sale by
Miss Estella Wright, opposite Butler
building. l7.1m
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1904-03-02
BASE BALL MANAGERS MEET.
New Haven Worcester Matter Deferred
Till Friday.

New Haven Worcester Matter Deferred
Till Friday.
A short meeting of the Connecticut
base ball league was held at the Hotel
Garde yesterday afternoon to discuss
the proposed transfer of the New
Haven nine to Worcester, or somewhere
else because of the inability to get
grounds here. Secretary O'Rourke sug-
gested that before deciding to transfer
the team it would be better to learn
whether any other league has any ter
ritory rights in Worcester. The league
agreed with him and did not pass any
vote relating to the transfer of the
team. 1t was decided to investigate
thoroughly before ordering a transfer
to Worcester.
The league adjourned till Friday
when report will be had on the ques-
ton whether Worcester is open to the
Connecticut league or not. The ques-
ton of moving the New Havens to any
ether city was not brought UP. New
Haven was not represented at the
meeting as Manager Caravan has gone
back to Fort Wayne, Ind, and Assist
ant Manager Aufert is sick.
The following were present at the
meeting: Messrs. ORourke of Bridge
port, Humphreys of New London, Nor
risey of Norwich, Crandivall of Hol-
yoke, Busten of Meriden, Daniel Neal
of Springfield, John E. Kennedy and
w. J. Tracy of Hartford.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1904-03-02
"sUNBoNNETs" TONIGHT.
Play for the Benefit of Center Church
Mission Circle.

Play for the Benefit of Center Church
Mission Circle.
"Sunbonnets.' the play to be given
this evening at Harmonic hall for the
benefit of the Center church mission
circle, is by Miss Marion Campbell, who
is also one of the cast, and has coached
the performance.
The characters are as follows:
Mrs. Buttertield, a practical person
who takes summer boarders ........
..............M Miss Elizabeth Whitney
Charlina, her daughter. .,.......,....
............... Miss Marion Campbell
Mrs. Du Bots, an impractical person
who boards with Mrs. Butterfield
Observation-Disclosures Miss Eleanor Cutler
Mildred, her daughter ...............,.
.............M Miss Henrietta Whitney
Miss Tryphena Sanford, the postmis-
tress ...,......... Mrs. Charles Morris
Mrs. Phelan.... Miss Alice Walker
Mrs. Martin. .... Miss Maud Watrous
(Women's Aid Society,"
Mrs. Tibbets. ..... Miss Dorothea Dexter
Mrs. Pendleton. Miss Marian Richards
Miss Malvina Spinney
................... Miss Clara Seymour
Mrs. Crannon, the minister's wife,.
................... Miss Hilda WEIGH
(Ladies' Benevolent Society,"
The following ladies are to act as
patronesses: Mrs. Newman Smyth,
Mrs. Thomas G. Bennett, Miss Mary
tombstone, Mrs. Lewis English, Mrs. E.
L. Heermance Mrs. Franklin S. Brad
ley, Mrs. Frank K. Sanders, Mrs.
George H. Watrous.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1904-03-02
SCHOOL BOY ARRESTED.

Charged With Pounding Comrade
Over Head and Face With Shovel.
Sergeant Croker went to the zunder
school yesterday. afternoon and arrested
Peter Bauby, thirteen years old, of 81
Oak street, on a warrant charging him
with breach of the peace.
It is alleged that yesterday noon a lot
Of boys were having contest near the
corner of Factory and Oak streets to get
possession of a snow shovel. Bauby got
the shovel and then pounded boy
named David Brount Of 80 Oak street
over the head with it. Brount was
badly injureds "A tooth was knocked out
and his nose, face and head was severe
ly cut and bruised.
Both boys attend the Zunder school.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1904-03-02
TO DRAFT PRIMARY RULES.

At the meeting of the Democratic
Town committee yesterday afternoon
William S. Pardee was appointed a
committee of one to draft suitable set
of resolutions to govern the proposed
changes in the primary rules. He is to
submit the report to a special meeting
Of the town commit tee, which is to be
held in Attorney Makers office to-mor-
row afternoon at o'clock.
This was the only action of any i'm
portance taken at yesterdays meeting.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1904-03-02
LADIES OF THE g. a. r.

The ladies Of the G. A. r. will hold
their convention in May, the place to be
designated later. Warren Thomas cir
Gle. No. 5, ladies of the G. A. R., will
hold their next regular meeting Satur-
day, March 6. They will serve supper
from to s p. m. The circle is growing
in interest, and is increasing In mem-
bers. while reports from all over the
state show the ladies of the G. A. r..
are caring for the old soldier and his
dependent ones. being always ready to
respond to all appeals. The national
order has $50 circles with a membership
of over $4,000.