Baxter Springs news. [volume] (Baxter Springs, Kan.) 1882-1919, 1904-03-31
NO PLACE FOR SOLDIERS.
opines q Warrior Who Got Into De-
partment Store Mix-Up
Of Women.

Of Women.
"Been over giving the ladies a treat?"
inquired the boat guard as the sergeant
plodded YEARLY into the Governors is
land waiting room. The sergeant ar
ranged his bundles on a chair, rolled o
cigarette, and signed, relates the New
York Times.
Talk about your bolo rushes in
Samar and your charges up San Juan
HILL" he said, finally. well, sir. VEN
turned over to-day on a little business,
and they nearly wound my clock for me,
sure. been nursing three collar but
tons along now for about two years and
half. | makes up my mind to-day I
been harassed plenty by them buttons.
SO takes my life in my hands and ven-
lures over to stock up. goes up here
TO one of them colossal emporiums, sort
of everything to make happy home
store, and bodily saunters into the merry
whirl.
Il notices that 1t is mostly inhabited
by women folks, and figures can hold
my own, so to speak. in the race for
life and collar buttons. There's swell
looking bunko man near the door. and
I says to him: I wants couple of cards
of collar buttons Notions he says.
Collar buttons says. Fifth floor,
back he says. Take the elevator in
rear he says.
80 makes a flank attack to dodge
a charge that was coming down the front
and center. estimate that there was
about so women maneuvering to catch
that two-by-three elevator, so sidesteps
and says to myself: Ladies first. When
been sidestepping and countermarching
and sashaying for about 10 minutes an
other Teller comes up and says: Some
thing you wanted?' Collar buttons I
says. Fifth floor, back; take the eleva-
tor he says.
I'm overlooking with information
as to the topography Of them collar but
tons says. but the line of march seems
to be sort of blockaded. so 10 speak. When
this struggling horde OF fashion and
beauty is disposed of, I'm going to take
up the march again.
You'll need furlough, then, he says.
Hop in; they won't hurt you
II takes up position in the rear guard,
and about five minutes later | gets a
front seat. When we reaches the fifth
floor I'm lost in the crowd. and can't
find a guide. so makes the round trip.
Ten minits later I'm still skirmishing
around in the background. Like It.?
says the coon that pulls the rope. Like
what?' | asks. The motion up and
down. he says. About that time wo-
man behind me yells Fifth and starts
for the door, and goes out in the over
flow.
II got them collar buttons and waited
an hour while the girl wrote history Of
the transaction and dickered with the
Teller in the cage about the change. I
lodged the parachute and walked down.
Say, I believe that Amazon soldier
story. There's the making Of first
class regiment in every one of them
stores II you co,Sd hold them in ranks.
never knew that women was such
brutes before. They come at you in front,
and when your line refuses you get 1t in
both TANKS while the umbrella brigade
gets busy in the rear. There's nothing
to do but take your medicine. and when
you gets your opening agitate the dust
for the nearest door.
"They say that woman Is encroaching
on mans field of labor, and want to
say right here that If they encroaches at
this here shopping gait 1t won't be long
until men will have TO take to disor-
ganized flight or appeal to congress for
protection. New York amt no place
for soldier. He can't fight back"