The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1904-10-01

| lAeS Will uot ue WISE ellottSil W move
of their own accord the landlords and
"UnionisSs" will very soon be butting
them onward. In the next big agita-
ton the NJ. P.'s will probably not find
accommodation in the jails because OF
their being filled with landlords.
Twill he spectacle to make the
gods roar. The last time the Irish
landlords went on a bust was when
the financial relations committee found
the kindly mother country guilty of
purloining f2OO,0O0,OO0 over and above
the just due from Ireland during the
century. In the depths of their de-
pleted purses the landlords found their
patriotism begin to STIR In short time
it had prompted them to arise and hurl
| rhetorical thunderbOlts at the fond
stepmother country. Lord Castedown,
rs their spokesman. vowed that his
own good right fist would do doughty
deeds or juStice-in this case an ass
laden with money bags-should be
done to his distressful country. He
dropped unkind hints about Boston tea
parties, and generally endeavored to
impress the two countries that our
own Lord Edward was reincarnatcd to
, him. Then friends of the family
stepped in. gave him tin sword and
a squad of "OOSe-Steppers. and sent
him out to South Africa to make the
; Beers run. He fulfilled his mission
WE'LL He gave the Beers a great deal
! of running. And beat them hollow at
that game every time.
, Lord Castetown is now president of
the Pan-Celts. The Pan-Celts are like
.. ly to give him as much trouble us ever
the Beers did. At their recent con-
gress in Carnarvon. Lloyd George.
the great Welsh Radical NJ. T.. and
idol of the Welsh nation. came upon
the atform in the midst of one of the
days proceedings. Immediately the
great assembly arose to it's feet and
ratified the stars with the might of
their plaudits. "a speech" "a
speecl!" was demanded by Il thousand
voices. Can NJ. T.. is always expected
to keep oratory on tap. SO Lloyd
George felt compelled to comply. He
had not we'll begun, however, when
some delegate, who abhorrcd his Rad
icalism as he did the devil, rose up
and protested that this was out of or
der Immediately thereupon patriot
ic Welsh lady, stout of arm as she was
of heart, swung IN umbrella alOft. and
brought it down, with vim and hearty
good will. crash upon the skull of the
protesting one. instantly convincing
him that after all, Lloyd George. the
idol of the Welsh nation, was then,
and always, in order. He protested no
more that day.
The proceedings Of the Pan-Celtic
congress We're to have concluded by
the singing Of the Welsh national an
them. But when this had been sung,
an over-Zealous pianist, who could not
let well enough alone, followed up by
pitching into God Save the King"
Instantly there was commOtion in the
hall. Upronr became the order of the
night. One delegate smashed his
chair and strobe from the assembly.
The credit of this was (of course) given
to an Irishman. Two of the commit
tee seated on the platform arose and
left. All those in the body of the hall
finally stood up, and, taking hands,
sang "Auld Lang Syne," whilst the in
discreet pianist vanished, and has not
since materialiZed. True, indeed, is
our old saying that "There's trouble
in every house, and some on the
street"
Mr. Labouchere's Truth has been
| discovering to the world that ''the
Irish are the most polite and genial
people in the world with tourists"
The Saxon foe" of patriotic poetry
and speeches never crosses the Irish
sea-; some magic charm. in passing
lover the waters, turns him into
friendly stranger, for whom there is
always n friendly welcome" Sure
| enough, we have from force of habit
learned to put up with many things,
and put a polite face on the matter.
In our own impractical Celtic way,
| though, we are growing a carefully
| trained prejudice against the tourist
swarm that are recently discovering
and beginning to Overrun our country.
We recognize that the tourist,
whether he be loud checked curiosity
! from Cockneydom, or else, is a demon
alizing factor amid any primitive in
nocent people. And--in no spirit of
boorishncss- we are thinking of po-
litely inviting him to roll his money
and spend his GREATNESS holiday in
some fortune favored country other
| than Ireland. If it were possible to
select. there are tourists whom We
would spread carpets for, but since VIC
have no Ellis island where we may
| nick out and return undcsimbleS, hut
must take the rough with the smooth,
| then we wish to remain rs we are
thank YOU. We know only too well
how it is in other lands whose people
| were once simple, good. hospitable.