Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1904-06-25

THE JUDGE TOOK OCCASION TO SAY, II
MIGHT HAVE BEEN A DE SOTO"
Didn't l hear something about yo'r
having a case in cote the other day"
"Yo' probably did, sub, and we
might step inside while tell yo' about
it. Yo' know, squar', that since /
went out of politics I've returned to
my old profession-the law?"
1--WE heard so, colonel"
"But I've met with nothing but envy
and jealousy on every hand, though
everybody knows what part | took in
the late wah. They don't want me to
build up a practice here. and they've
thrown me down whenever the occa-
sion offered. They tried it again the
other day, sub. Yes, sub, the enemy
moved down on my works again and
just reckoned to wipe me off the face
Of the earth. This county has made
up her mind that must go, and mebbe
I'll have to, but I'm gwine to die
powerful hard, squar' powerful hard"
"What happened this time, colonel2'
queried the squire as he cut a piece
off his plug of tobacco and passed the
plug to his friend, but carefully re-
membered to get it back again.
"Squar' Dawson, yo' run mostly to
con and nevis and are busy man"
eyes, colonel
"But yo' amt too busy to remember
that De Soto discovered the Missis-
sippi river about hundred and sew
enty years ago. Yo've read that in
history"
Eyes; reckon l have, colonel, but
didn't charge my memory with it in
particular. Name was De Soto, was
it? Live anywhere around here?"
"Not exactly, sub. This county
wasn't heard of till long after his time.
He was a Spaniard, Squar' Dawson,
and he came over to this country with
crowd behind him to make new dis
coveries, pick fuss and run things to
suit himself. 1t was while wandering
over the country to find something
worth stealing that he discovered the
big river"
woods and discovered her, eh?"
'"That was the way of it, squar'.
Now, then, last Saturday went into
cote for Tom jackson. Toms dawg
bit the ear off Of Jim Forbishes' yal-
Ter mewl, and Jim sued fur $50 dam
ages. l was for the defense. / not
only had an alibi for the dawg, but l
had seventeen witnesses on hand to
swear that he was too dodgasted lazy
to chase and bite anything. Besides
that, had the canine right in the cote
room that might show the jury he
had but two teeth left and couldn't nip
q baby's finger. 1t was legal and
military defense combined, sub, and it
looked to be impregnable."
'And of cO'se yo' won, colonel-of
co'se yo' didw observed the squire.
ibid I? Yo' jest wait! l stood to
win it, Of co'se, and I'll leave it to the
bar Of the state, but yo forget that my
enemies were in ambush and waiting
for me. They were afraid that l was
coming out on top, and the fiat went
forth that I was to be thrown down.
no matter how strong my defense. Yo'
know what a fat is, don't yo', squar'? 2"
"Weli, not jest this afternoon, as I'm
not feelin' any too peart. But 60 on
with yo'r story"
II had the neatest, slickest case yo'
ever did see, but the aforesaid fiat had
gone forth, and judge and jury had to
obey. They just knocked me out all
around and brought in a verdict of 500
and costs. How was that for a con-
spiracy, square,
''Shoo! Shoe! But it don't seem pos
sible''
s'Eo mistake, Squar' Dawson. They
not only threw me down in the YER
dict, but the judge took occasion to
say that if hadn't fooled away my
time and let my ambition run to weeds
l might have been a De Soto. Yes,
sub, he said them very words right to
my face"
II can't skassly believe it, colonel
not skassly."
"Squar' Dawson are yo' looking at
me?" queried the colonel as he faced
the other.
IT shorely am colonel"