The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-12-10

10 tell mammal Freddy-Wouldn't
you rather have some jam7-Harpers
Bazaar.
She-How is It that widows gener-
ally manage to marry again7 He-Be-
cause dead men tell no tales.-Aily
Sloper.
sparticus-Does that fountain-pen Of
yours leak that way all the timer
smarticus-No. only when l have ink
in it--Baltimore American
Il see you advertise piano covers"
said the man with a squiint Yes, we
have all kinds" said the clerk Let
me look at some that are Theoretically
sealed. then-"-Yonkers Statesman.
1--WE met several other people from
your city" said the BostonIan, "and
every one Of them said: Where Is it
arY' Where Is what atY' demanded
the New Yorker.-Kansas City Inde-
pendent
SIdey Slats-Please. mum, but we're
a couple Nv shipwrecked sailors
Lady-What. You never was near the
water SlIdey slats-Puaickly right.
mum, puffickly right We WIZ on 4
air-ship.-Judge.
do you mean TO say you don't have
any trouble in keeping your wife
dressed in the height Of fashion,
That's what l said Ny trouble comes
when 1 don't keep her dressed that
way."-Philadelph Press
Il suppose you have made It rule
In politics never 10 forget a friend
There's no danger of that" answered
Senator Sorghum; IF a man has done
anything friendly for you in politics he
never lets you forget lex
Crabshaw-He has the inventive fac.
uity very highly developed Crawford
What has he invented Crabshaw-
Nothing. so far as l know. But when
his wife goes out be can think Of things
to keep the baby amused by the hour
Judge.
she-Jack played an awfully heart
less trick on Flossie. He-How's that
she-Why. they were engaged, you
know. and last night at the ba
masque. Jack made up 50 that Flossis
didn't know him. He proposed anc
was accepted again,-Puck-
Now that you are wealthy, Mr.
c." said the man who deals In pedi
grees and the ike. you really should
begin to adopt a coat Of arms" III
do Just as please" retorted Mr. G.
hotly. IF 1 Ike TO go about in u.
shirt sleeves, that amt none o you
businessg'
when you first entered politics.
said the young man. who was LOOKING
for knowledge, did you set out witt
the determination TO win AT any costT
NO" answered Senator Sorghum, p"
set out with the determination TO Wi
at as little expense as possible" =
Washington Star.
II won't 20 abroad" Sea trave
disagrees with your NO" BUS
, hess keeps you here continually. ehf
NO" sightseeing wearies you:
No" Then why. pray, don't you g
abroadYr "Sh-h-h, I've only got fou
dollars and twenty-five cents-"-Clevs
land Plain Dealer.
Overheard During the Theatrical
She-How well your wife plays Lad
Geraldine, Mr.. Jonesl l think the wa
she puts on that awful affected ton
is Just splendid. How does she mai
: age it? Mr.. Jones with embarras
ment)-Er-she doesn't That's hs
: natural yoice.-London Tit-Bits-
: Darling" exclaimed the happy hu
band after the minister had pr
nouuced the fatal words. Il am NJ
: worthy Of you" ~Of course. you al
not" she replied; but after a girl hi
? celebrated her twenty-ffth birthda
for i've consecutive years she can't a
ford to be too particular.
Enquirer
Mr.. Scrapem.- said the hostess
an amateur violinist at an evenir
gathering. you play the violin. do &c
notT" yes. after a fashion. 70
know was the modest reply "Ho
nicer' murmured half the compan
did you bring your violin with you
NO; I did not" How nicer mu
INJURED the other half Of the compaI
in fervent unison.-Galveston News
Hodge (who has Just had q too
drawnl-Well. guv'nor. how much I
you Ak for the job? You did do
quick. Dentistry charge is two-an
4 six. Hodge-Two-and-six Why.
4 49,, - - cv- ,fo~a ID uad
4 tooth for me once aud it took him "
hours; he hauled me round and rouI
j the room-I never seed such ha
Z worS-and he only charged me a shi
q in'-Scraps-
3 Are you a fatalist Do you
Z lleve what is to be will beTT I'VE
4 yes. to a certain extent l believe. I
4 instance. when l draw my salary III
81 the coal trust and the meat trust al
Z the grocer and the milkman. and {
s rest OF the people who make it The
business TO get my money away fro
me. are going TO do II Just as surely
= the sun is sure TO rise tomorrow mol
Chicago Record Herald
: A farmer and his wife called At
= photograph gallery TO order some pl
tographs OF her. and while the op'
ator was getting ready. the husba
gave the wife little advice as TO he
she must act "Fasten your mind
something" said he. ~or else you
laugh. and Spite the job. Think abo
early days; how your father got