Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1904-04-02

man INSIDE of room 55J-No, it amt,
/ locked the door.-Ex
Mother Johnny Jones. did you get
that awful cold out skating? Son
Mother, think / caught it washing
my face yesterday morning.-Judge
Chumply-I don't know whether /
ought to take your daughter from her
fathers roof. Her Father-She doesn't
live on The Philadelphia Bulle-
tin.
| Il say, Brooml'' Cali me by my
whole name, If you please. 1t has Il
! handle TO il, and il was meant TO be
used, sir" That's so. Well. Broom
handle, how are your
Cnrioso- Yeur name is Ephraim. ia
| it, How'd your parents come TO give
YOU that name2 Modestus-I don't
know for certain, but suspect ii was
because was boy Boston Tran
| script
Women claim that the way to get
ON with man is TO give him plenty
OF nicely cooked food" Well" an
swered Sirius Barker irritaby, why
don't some of them try tip Washing
| ton star.
: A Great Debt: Bragg owe moth
ing TO any man. Newitt--0h, yes, Won
! do. BraggNo, slri hewitt Oh. yes
You owe an apology To every man who
has 10 listen to you low--phiIatiei-
phia Press.
! Improvement at the Gas Office: did
You have any luck when you went to
complain about the gas blllr' BETTER
mck than last month" answered Mr.
| Meekton ''the man didn't laugh this
| tune. Ex.
Magistrate tsternlyl-Didn't l tell
/ you the last time you were here new
er wanted you TO come before me
again7 prisoner-Yes sir. but 4
couldn't make the policeman believe
it,-New Yorker.
Funny about Ralston wanting his
former wife TO get divorce from her
second husband so that they might get
married again" Not very. He's al
ways been falling in love with other
mems wives. Fix.
Daily Guide TO Flattery: II there is
something on the table that the
| hostess knows is SO badly cooked that
she feels bored about II, ask for more
and eat il with the greatest apparent
relish. Baltimore American.
Have You any taste for Thacke-
ray?p asked Mrs. oldcastle. mo.
can't say that have" replied her
hostess zig that anything like this
paprik0 they're putin in everything
now r. Chicago Record Herald.
What he Would Rather Have Elk
pressed Differently: Gushing Lady
on, but Mr.. Jones | should love to he
beautiful-even If for only half an
hourl Jones Yes; but you wouldn't
like the coming back againLPuncl.
| Conductor All aboard! Please get
aboard quickly, Miss; the train is
about 10 start Young Lady-But 1
wish 10 kiss my sister good.by. Con
duet0r-Get aboard, get aboard; III
attend 10 that for you.--Yale Record
Coal vasesT said the hardware
Imerchant. Yes Sir" Something
nicely japannedT NO. sir. SAID the
customer, "A man with fierce mustache.
and foreign accent: haven't You
something IN Russia lron%'- Chicago
Tribune
How 10 Hold Actors: lit AWAY
makes me mad To talk to an actor. lie
prctenda to listen politely, but his at
! tcntion ls wandering all the time Ever
notice itT NO. / always talk to-
them about themselves philadel-
pbia Ledger.
Owner Of Fishpond Ito man who is
trespasslrg) Don't you see that siga
mo fishing here? Angler-Yes. and
] dispute il Why there's good fish
| ing here Look at this basketful Flse
man must have been mad who puf
That board mp.
1T was only five years ago that 1
started In with our firm at five dollars
n week" said Bragg land now | estn
nifty "a week without any trouble
That's so; it's easy to earn that" re-
piled hewitt, but how much do you
getf'- Philadelphia Press
Ida don't believe Mr. Smart be
lleyes my handkerchiefs are nnen-
May Why notl Ida told him 4
bad my pin money wrapped ia any
handkerchief and lost IL. He said
there was a great deal OF money lott
IN cotton these days Chicago News.
Tommy To-morrow's your birthday.
amt il, maf / wisht | had a dolirr:
Ia buy You present. Ma That's
thoughtful of you, my dear. But why
do you need dollar? Tommy Cause
that's the price of it, It's the dandi-
est catcher's mask you ever saw
Philadelphia Press
Fond Mother don't know what to
do. want 10 send my daughter To-
college, and yet ! don't want TO send
her into the world unprotected. Wise
visitor, who has observed the daugh-