The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1904-02-07
NO RYE CROP,
But 4 BEAR CROP
Lively Events at Wild Gsnder
Forstold TO Mrs. Mix by
the New Moon.


and set two lines to fill this page il
order that 1 might get the outside o
the Geeville Trumpet Blast of Freedom
to press" said the executor of tina
onetime influential chronicle of thing
in the hemlock belt, that 1 didn't turf
to see who it was that came into tn
office, and would, perhaps, not hav
turned to see until had got the coup
let in type and into the form if tn,
person hadn't spoken up after a while
and in a husky voice said:
g Well, mebbee you don't keer tc
have these here ''Wingfn's from Wild
Gander'' fer to put into your paper
them
The 'Wingings from Wild Gander
department of our local correspondence
was an important one, for we had
seven subscribers at Wild Gander and
two of them had paid for their papers.
So I suspended operations at once and
welcomed the messenger from Wild
Gander, whose patience I had evidently
tried.
And now said /, what is the news
you bring US from Wild Gander?'
:" Well, said the messenger to make
long story short, when John Mix that
lives jest at the hoof of the barren
seen the big bear come out o. the woods
day afore Yesterday and take down a
panel o fence as slick as John could "a
done it hisself and begin to roll around
in the rye, John jest most lost his
breath.
and so he ought to- cause the rye
crop was runnin' short onto him, and
he needed every spear there was in his
field. bein's as he had sold his crop to
Sol Devers, and Sol had paid fer the
rye, and John had used the money. So
he hollers to the bear;
:" "Here!" he hollers. Come out O.
therei Don't you know that rye is
sold? And there amt half enough of it
to make Sol Devers good fer his mon
ey's worth and it is! Come out o.
therei" John hollers.
".But, instead o. comm out, the bear
rolled and tumbled around in the rye
and swatted big swaths of it down and
pulled it up by the roots in great gobs.
Where was John? You see Johns
woodshed roof had sprung leak, and
John was UP onto it fxin' of it. nall
lin down shingles and setch, and he
had his hammer riz to whack a nail
jest as the bear come out and begun
to rampage in the rye, and when he
see that the bear wasn't goin' to quit
sp'ilin that rye crop, John says:
'."Jest you wait till 1 git this shin
gle nailed on!'' he says. It'll tend to
your carcase!' says he.
Then John fetched his hammer
down strong enough to tumble bull,
and it missed the nail and took John
full head onto his thumb, and you'd "a
O. putty that steam milne had run
over.
John come a-tumblin' down often
that roof kerplunk, and went limpin'
to the house, holdin' his thumb, and
holIerin' like an Injin. Hammer swad
ded it up in a lot o. rags and campfire,
and SO you git ''Wingin' from Wild
Gander" that's worth while. Put it
in somethin' like this here:
"'Our genial and enterprisin Teller |
John Mix, Esq, smashed his
thumb like Sam Hill while maxim ex-
tensive improvements on his clearin' at
the hoof o. the barren. There is worse
feIlers than John. There wasn't no.
body to go fer a doctor, and John is
rapidly improvin'
THAT'S one "wingin'" I've brung
you in from Wild Camden said the
from that bailiwick, and
now mebbe 1 kin give you another one.
When Hammer got John Mix's thumb
done up in rags and campfire, John
Sa US to Hammer:
Hammer" says he, where's my
double bitted axe?"
John" says Hammer, lookin' at
John with eyes bigger'n seed onions,
John" says she, "somethin' is goin'
20 happen. told Melissa so only yis-
.erday 1 seen the moon over my left
shoulder, john says Hammer, and
sometimes goin' to happen says she.
'' There amt neither" says John.
There amt nothin' soin' to happen"
says he, "'cause it's happenin' right
low. Bear is harvestin' my rye crop,
md if somethin' don't shet him off this
minute Sol Devers won't have enough
% make half bakin' o. bread. Where's
ny double bitted axe?" says john
"'''I knowed somethin' was goin' to
says Hammer. IT told Melissa
20 Yesterday says she. "'Cause 1 seen
he moon over my left shoulder" says
'he. john says she, your double
oitted axe is out on the back stooD,'
'ays she, where I was cuttin' turnips
er the cow with it,, says she. II
lnowed somethin' was goin' to hap
IeI1, says SIZE, cause SSeu the
noon
'' '"Never mind what you SEEM" says
ohm. You jest pike to Bill Jumps
IS fast as your legs1l carry you and
ell Bill to skite down here with his ;
,un,'' says John.
Hammer legged it fer Bills, which
) somethin like a mile from Johns,
nd John got his double bitted axe and
vent out in the rye field. The bear had
waited and tumbled down every con-
armed spear o. rye there was, and there
he impudent critter stood at the fur
ide o. the field. actin as if he was
EST about pleased to death.
" JOHN was so mad he couldn't hard
' find words to tell it, but he hollers :