The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1904-06-04


num-" said the applicant, San l won't
ask yer for references"
Bobbles-What does this author
mean by saying that the hero had
"well-carved" features? Dobbles-
perhaps he shaved himself.
Il wonder what makes my eyes 80
weak" said an ultra Radical once to
Mr.. Disraen. why, they are in q
weak place." said the latter.
Little Willie-say, pa, how does an
army scour the country2 Pa-With
brushes, my son. Little Willie-With |
brushes? Pa-Yes, brushes with the
enemy.
May-Did Clara's husband leave
her much when he died2 Belle-:He
left enough to make her comfortable,
but not enough to get her a second
husband.-Life.
Waiter-Will you try a course din
ner? Country Groom-No, r sir; no
coarse dinner for us. Bring us in the
finest one you've got. We don't come
down to the city every day; do we,
Matilda7
He--Do you know, dear, was just
upstairs looking at baby, and I be-
lieve she has got your hair. She
(springing up)-Good gracious! I
thought had put that switch out of
the child's reach!
did you ever see the Dardanelles
while you were in Europe" NO."
answered Mr.. Cumrox. "You see, we
were SO busy sightseeing that we
didn't have time to call on any Of our
friends. "-Washington Star.
First Boy-And because you couldn't
find penny to pay the fare. did the
conductor make you get off the omnt-
bus and walk? Second Boy-No, he
only made me get Off. could have
sat in the road If wanted to.-!Tit.
Bits.
"a tall bride Is the best-looking,
don't you Think" "Well," replied the
titled Englishman who had caught On
to a little American slang, $50 far as
! am personally concerned, certainly
am not looking for one who is short"
Chicago Evening Post.
The army officer looked with dis
pleasure at the soiled sheet Of paper
that had been handed him. That's a
measIy looking document" he ex
claimed. eyes, sir" said the subor
dinate, touching his hat. 'Its the
sick list. "-Chicago Tribune.
Edyth-Yes, you see she told the
count that her fathers partner hat
robbed him Of nearly all his wealth
lust to test his love for her. Mayme-
And then? Edyth-He asked her fol
letter Of introduction to the daughter
Of her fathers partner.-Chicagt
News.
JOHNNY wish my folks would
agree upon one thing and not keel
me all the time in a worry. Tommy
What have they been doing now
Johnny-Mother won't let me STAN
on my head, and dad Is all the tim
fussing because l wear my shoes GU
, so fast.
Mistress (returning from holiday
Why, Bridget, whatever has becom
O of the parrot2 Bridget-Well, you see
> mum, after you left 1t looked bi
pining like and didn't talk much, S
: the cook and I put it out Of its misery
poor thing, and had it stuffed TO
my new 'at.-Judy.
'"They say" said Mrs. Oldcastl'
THAT Mr.. Faddlethwaite, who use
to belong to our church, has becom
an agnost1c" "Is that SO? Josia
used to take his lunch at the sam
place he did down town, and he say
he often warned him that he'd get
If he didn't give up eatin' so fast
Chicago Record-Herald.
Hallit-What's the matter, Kla.
You look all tired out? Klay-And
wonder. I've had hard day Of 1t.
don't know when I've worked so har
|. I looked at tho men clean up the ra
road station this morning, and art
that I saw three safes raised into fou
STORY windows, and four loads of co
delivered in baskets.-Boston ira
script.
They had been married only thrt
. short weeks, and he was actually /
= terested in his paper at the dinn
= table. Darling" she began in tol
. meant to be reproachful, do you lo7
. me lust as much as you ever did
o sure thing" he answered brief
!; She ought to have been satisfied
- let it go at that, but she WASH
'Why?" she asked. Don't kno"
he replied. "Just fool habit I've :
IL into, I suppose" Then for sevente
= consecutive seconds silence reign
i supreme.-Chicago News.
$ At the first performance on the ne
Q church organ no one in the andien
q was better pleased than the maid e.
Moved in the organist's family. :"
W Won liked the music, did you, Mary
:. soid the organist the next mornlr
- renorts of her enthusiasm havi
~ reached his ears. "Oh, it was il
70 prsnd" replied Mary, 1.-THE grandt