The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1904-08-02
MR.. DOOlEY on THE DUTIES OF
VICE PRESIDENT.
By r. p. Dunno.
Copyright. 1904. by Mcclure, Phil
Inns a C~ornnsuyl

By f. p. Dunno.
Copyright. 1904. by Mcclure, Phil
lips & Company
we've toll me who ye ar-re with rr
prisidint," said Mr.. Hennessy, but who
E-re re goin' to vote fr fr vice-prisi-
Iint?'
Il haven't med VI me mind said
Mr.. Dooley. They're both good an
great men. Hinnery Gassaway Davis
is a fine OF virginian (west) gintleman-
Through his middle name he is related
to William J. Bryan an he Is father-in-
law of another great man, Sinitor
Elkins. Mr.. Davis is eighty-wan years
old an has forty millyon dollars or is
forty millyon years old an has eighty
wan dollars. I'm not sure which but
anyhow the figures passes belief. He
is a good man an il is thought that his
ripe judgment an still ripper fortune
will add great strength to tn ticket.
I see in tn pa-apers that he looks
an I'll bet that befur tn campaign is
over he'll feel three millyon dollars
younger in his bank roll.
TIL Republican candidate is tn
Hon'rable Charles Fairbanks who halls
firm I~njyanny. Hence tn wurrud hail
He has almost tn same qualifications
FIR the lofty office fr which he has
been unanimously chosen be tn
threasurer iv tn campaign comfy. He
is not quite tn statesman that Hinnery
is. He misses it be about thirty min
millyons. Still, he has enough to do
his jooty worthily through tn cam
paign. Sinitor Fairbanks has a fine
war record. He sarved throughout tn
rebellyon as cashier iv tn First Nay
tional Bank iv Terry Hut an liver since
has given most iv his time and labor
to his country an his c~ounthry's rail-
roads. He is strongly in favor iv
p~resarvin' tn good standard an as
much iv it rs possible. Hinnery Davis
doesn't care so much about goold. He
has all kinds. An there in a few we'll
chosen wurruds, Hinnissy, is tn bio
graphy iv tn two men, wan iv whom
will sarve this country as vice-prsi-
dint FIR tn next four years in Washin'-
ton an the other will sarve it JUS as
much be stayin' at home.
Its sthrange about tn vice-prisi-
dincy, Hinnissy. TIL PRESIDENCY is tn
highest office in tn gift iv tn people.
TIL vice-prisidincy is Timex highest
an tn lowest. 1t isn't a crime exactly.
Ye can't b. STINT to Jail FIR it but it's a
kind iv a disgrace. It's like writfn'
anonymous letters. Whin Sinitor Elk
ms is asked about his father-in-law
now, he shakes his head an says: 'fWe
don't speak iv him amy more in tn
family" At a convintion nearly all tn
diilygates lave as soon as they've nom
mynated tn prisidint FIR fear wan iv
thin will be nommynated FIR vice pris-
idint. They offered it to me frind, Joe
Cannon an tn language he used
brought tn blush Nv shame to tn cheeks
iv a naygur ~dillygate firm Allybamy
They thried to ham it to Hinnery Sabir
Lodge an he wept bitterly. They found
a man firm Wisconsin who was ir
drink an had almost nommynated him
whin his wife came in an dhragget
him away firm timptation. TIL way
they got Sinitor Fairbanks to accipt
was be shown him a pitcher iv oul
| great an noble prisidint thryin' tc
jump a horse over a six foot fence
| An they on'y prevailed upon HinnerJ
Davis to take this almost onequallec
| honor be tellin' him that tn raison tn
Sage iv Esoopus didn't speak earlier
vas because ne has weak lungs.
Why is it, 1 wondher, that ivrybody
runs way firm a nommynation Fl
F.! vice-prisidint as if it was an indict'
ment be TIA gran jury? 1t usen't t
be so. I've hoIlered mesilf black in tn
face FIR OF man Thurman an Hen
bricks iv Injyanny. In tn OF days
whin tn boys had nommynated SOM
unknown man firm New York FIR prisi
dint, they turned in an nOmmynated {
gr-reat an w~ell-known man firm tn
West FIR vice-prisidint. Tn candydatI
FIR vice-prisidint was all iv tn tickle
we iver see durin' a campaign. TIL
la-ad they put up FIR prisidint stage
down east an was niyer allowed t
open his mouth except in writin' be
fure witnesses but tn candydate f
vice-prisidint whit firm a end iv tn
country to tn other howlin' again tn
tariff an other immortal issues, nov
dead. l niver voted fr Grover Cleve
land. 1 wudden't vote FIR him ann,
more thin he'd vote FIR me. / voted f.
OF man Thurman an Tom Hendrick
an ABLY stevenson befur he become
professional vice-prisidint. They though
it was an honor but if ye'd read thei
Biographies today, ye'd find at tn end
."Th writer will pass over tn closin
years iv MI. Thurman's career hurrid
ly. 1t is enough to say iv this painful
peryod that afther a life time iv de
voted sarvice to his country, tn
\ statesman > OcCllIill udyS was ClOuuCt
be a gr-reat sorrow. He become vice
prisidint iv tn United States. Oh, hov
much better 'twere that we shud b
sawed off arIy be tn great reape'
Death, thin that a life iv honor shut
end in ignomy.' It's a turrbie thing
I read in tn pa-aper four years g
Foul plot again Thaydore Rosenfelt
! Plat an Hanna schame to make hin
vice-prisidint.' 1 r-read tn other day
Attack On Joe Cannon. Odell propose:
| him FIR vice-priSidint. Cannon plead
| in with his friends to save him. Bime'
by whin tn campaign comfy runs shorr
| iv funds, they'll raise tn, wind be go.
in around an threatenin' pluthTyerat:
| with tn nommynation. Yell hear peo-
| pie say: That boy will come to nj
| good end. He will be vice-prisidint.'
If We say about a man that he's good
| pr~isidintial timber, he'll buy We a
dhrink. If We say he's good vice-pris-
| dipaiaI timber va name that he isn't