The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1904-11-19

uchtu rate luat, my son, Is the
speed at which an automobile travels"
Cleveland Leader.
Van Tart-I don't think much of
leap year. lie Whey-What's the mat
teri Van Tart-The girls propose to
you. but expect you to buy the ring.
The button trust is bankrupt. The
button Is a small article, but 1t has
destroyed the peace of many home.
and it is only ripping as 1t has been
sewed.-Baltimore American.
John" said a stingy old hunk to his
hired man, as he was taking dinner.
do you know how many pancakes
have eaten fourteen" "well," said
John, you count and I'll eat"
But have you any expectations,
young manT "Of course, l have.
Three rich girls want to marry me.
but 1 am going to give your girl the
first chance. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Il just wisht l wuz bigger" said
Mischievous Willie Smart. "IndeedY'
asked his mother. How much big
the things l git blamed for dom now"
Freda-He claims to be related to
you, and says he can prove 1t. Floyd
Related to me? Why, the mans a
fool. Freda-Of course; but that may
be a mere Observation-Disclosures
Bits.
Jack-Women have no head for fig
ures. Tom-How do you make that
out? Jack-I know girl whose edu-
cation cost her father ten thousand
and she can't figure her own age cor
rectly.
Jury" said a Western Judge. you
kin go out and find a verdict. If you
can't find one of your own, get the
one the last jury used.' The jury re
turned verdict of suicide in the ninth
degree.
"Halloa~ cried the neighbor. "What
are you building a new chicken house
forT why" replied Nettles, ''for {
flock Of pink elephants, Of course
You didn't suppose I'd put chickens il
it. did your
Red-And when this happened OF
the links, was he addressing the ball
Greenwich, l don't know just wha
he was addressing, but it was quit
evident from the language that he wa:
not addressing a Sunday school.
Meeks-Why don't you try DR.
Ouackem's elixir Of life? A friend o
mine who took bottle Of 1t praises i
to the skies. Weeks-Yes, and a frien'
of mine who took three bottles of tn
stun is now up there somewhere.-Chi
cago News
A precocious youth telegraphed t
his parents on their golden weddin
day: as marriage a failure" Tn
old couple laid their heads togethe
! over the reply-paid form, and present
ly made answer: mo; but its result
, sometimes are"
ST never knew till now why thi
was such a windy country" said th
bright little girl travelling through Ill
nois. "And have you discovered why
. asked her father. "Of course. See a
the windmills on these farms wei
passing. "-Philadelphia Ledger.
"Darringer, have you half-so'
!, ereign you don't wantT why, ce
tainly. Here it is" The next day
''I say, Darringer. that half-sovereig
, you gave me was a bad one" I'VE
Bromley. You asked me II l had
. half-sovereign that didn't want"
why do the roses fade slow
away?" she inquired poeticall
} well" replied the baldheaded your
man, when you think 1t over it's q
: for the best. It's more comfortable
have them fade slowly away than
! 20 Off all of a sudden, like a torpedo
> "That's my last canvas" sa
3 D'Auber; 81 started that six montl
ago. You see, some days l pail
away feverishly. forcefully, absorbe
ly, while on other days 1 can't paint
: ALL" 81 see," said Crittick; "yC
. painted this on one of the other days
: Philadelphia Press.
: 'If Crabbe ever comes around yol
l place borrowing anything" said Su
bulbs, don't let him have it," You
spoken too late" replied Newcome
= "he was around this morning" You
easy. What was he borrowing
Trouble. He's in the hospital now
philadelphia Ledger.
AS my wife at the window one bea
tiful day stood watching a man wi
monkey a cart came along with
broth Of a boy, who was driving
stout little donkey. To my wife thu
l spoke by way of joke-"There's
relation Of yours in that carriage"
which she replied, when the donk
she spied-"Ah, yesl a relation
marriage"
The minister sought to improve t
time by giving Bobby a lesson
| morality. MY boy" he said, Il ha
| lived forty-five years, and have new
| used tobacco in any form, nor told
| lie. nor swore, nor played hooke
] nor" Have you got any lit
- boys?" interrupted Bobby. mo,
: never had any little boys" ave
I they are mighty lucky" said Bobby.
| IF you please, sir?" well, iii
| my7" ME grandmother, sir
aha, your grandmother Go on. iii
| N.Y." me grandmother and me mot
err" what and your mother, t.
| Both very i'll, eh7" ''No, sir. !
1 80 ,,.otba~ o~o -