The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-02-29
THE NONPAREIL MAN
First Beery Aid 70 the inbred Does Good
4. Work at chaska Z asst Week When a
Runchsdf "our PromIne1t Citizens, Step
onsa Polished and Slippery Coal Hole In
the Sidewalk OF the Brick Metropolis.

Chaska has a city ordinance command
Ing that all persons who maintain steel or
iron cellar doors in the sidewalks shall
have the metal Of these doors corrugated.
AS people pay no attention to city ordi-
nances, not a ssidewalk door3im all rChaska
rate, present surface which suggests
that special effort has been taken to pro-
duce a. high state Of polish thereon.
Last week as Bro Prowse of the Chaska
Review was figuring how The would be
made foreign minister to Bismarck, n. D.,
provided Bob Dunn was elected governor
he stepped on one ofsthese polished doors
and all Chaska tipped over and flew off in
every direction. Hardly had he crawled
out Of sight to feel himself over when
Deacon Dolls and Bro Aretz' came along
and stepping on the same door, flew up
into the air like two barefooted tolored
blacksmitl1s stepping on. a 4redhot horse
been seen they detected Colonel Connol-
~ coming up the street! Hiding behind a
key OF German baby food they watched
him step on the steel door. For no less
than .one-eighth- Of a second the air was
50 full Of Connolly that you couldn't see
the other side Of the street, @
The next act in the drama was the in
spring scene presented by Brothers
q quick rush for the GaInbrii1us hospital
Of First Alcoholic Aid to the Injured,
where the memories Of the sad events of
the previous moments were drowned in
deep drafts of a salicylic acid and coal tar
product that the game warden .'pulls'' and
destroys when he feels real gamy.
So last week the Chaska Review de-
manded:
Why: doesn't the committee whose duty it is
to enforce ftlris ordinance see that is complied
en- to Of
nance or kill it.. dead letter ordinance bene-
fits no one.
At an auction sale III, Boston last week
Hawthorne's first Book, "Fanshaw, -
brought $3.50: 1t was written. while he
Was a. student at >Bowdoin college. A
few copies only were sold and the rest
destroyed. The copy last week was pur-
chased by p. K. Foley a Boston old bool,
dealer, SO if you must hayesa 'Fanshaw
one may be secured from him for $3.50
or in that vicinity. We got. along over
Sunday quite happily without it:
; The Atohfson Globe Ssaysss that It is a
sign Of age to begin to- get up in the
ference does it make what time it Isl
None whatever, but as you get older this
insane desire to know what time. it,. is at.
tacks you. every few hours. . The light
Pickering in a house after, night is usual.
1ys carried by some barefooted old mar
who is on his way to peer into the face o.
the clock: The odd women are not 81
wakeful,l having a good deal Of sleep tt
make upewhich they lost when their chill
dren were little There may be some,
thing in this. On the otl1sr hand, it !:
a very comfortable feeling to settle dowr
in bed again. with the assurance that il
is only O'Clock and you have four hours
| of good. sleep ahead---if :. nobody kick:
YOU. f]5s-S
Barrels, and Bottles says that 80 pei
cent of the whisky in use to day is fraud
| ulent. We know that 100 per cent of i
is ruinous on the lining Of the stomach
i Remember the Retviaan!
The Land of the Morning Morning. Calm is rap
idly becoming the Land IF the Afternoon
Dogfght.a $%s,>s .sA'
The late birthday brought out the fac
that Washington wore false teeth. NO
body has yet tried to prove that he en-
deavored TO beat the dentist out of hi
BILL This is; an n eye1figgsasfsas
We are INTERRUPTED III turning out gu
usual spring poem because the water pipe
We're frostbit. ~. IL, gaa}.tF..2
81 ~ - d.>,.
Have. you written to your congressman
for a Bunch of garden seeds? Or do yo1
intend to let the hens pick up their Owl
living?
| th i..slD .+
People who enjoy these mathematical
brain breakers such as ..sthe age of Ann,
etc, will be interested in the follow
ing problem, which will, prove to. be quit
Isimple after you get the clue to it:
Robert c.. Dunn is feet 10A inche
tall. Eighteen years ago he was as tai
as Judge Collins was two@years ago adde,
to Frank Eddy's height at that time an,
,divided by q This being the case, VIII
will be nominated for governor thi
spring."
Algebra may be used in the solution O
| this problem if any one syishes.Jfs5t
! e =, ,5H 81 ]. R.