Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1904-07-21
SToRIETTES.

let us See what you remember about
the animal kingdom and the domestic
animals that belong to 1t. You have
named all the domestic animals but
one; who can tell me what that one
1s?' No one answered. at has brist-
ly hair, likes the dirt, and is fond Of
| getting into the mud" limited the
teacher, helpfully; cant you think.
Tommy" she asked encouragingly.
| of small boy. Its me-" said Tom.
my, refectively.
William c. Gotshall, president of
the New York and Port Chester
Railway, was recently dinner guest
at the Authors Club. One of Mr..
Gotshall's literary friends had pre-
| viously volunteered to send Mr.. Cot
shall one OF Gilbert Parker's most in
teresting books. "Have you received
The Right of Way as YETI" inquired
the literateur. "No," responded Mr..
Gotshall, sadly, thinking of his fran.
| chise grant held up by the board of
aldermen, "the board of aldermen
hasn't passed it yet"
The late George Francis Train was
once dining in fashionable restaur-
| ant where the insistent attentions Of
| a colored waiter were very annoying.
| Say" said Mr.. Train, "if you don't
bother me for the next fifteen minutes
I'll place something beneath my plate
| tnat'll make your mouth water" The
colored gentleman bowed courteously.
and anticipatipgly waited in the rear.
After Mr.. Train had left his seat, the
waiter turned the plate and there
found something which not only made
his mouth water. but his teeth CRATE
piece of chewing gum.
! Senator Quay and a friend were
talking about young man who was
Leading rather gay life. The sena-
tor insisted that the boy was all
| right at heart. "And have no doubt"
he added, chat Tom will pull up when,
he reaches the age of discretion"
"Yes," rejoined Quays friend, "but
what would you call the age of discre-
t1on?" "As rule" answered the
senator, L should say that young
fellow has reached the age of discre-
tion when he removes from his walls
the pictures of actresses, and substi-
tutes therefor portrait of his wealthy
bachelor uncle"
A friend of Philip verill Mighels,
| author of "Bruvver Jim's Baby" tells
this story of him. Mr.. Mighels was In
London at the time, and one morning
he informed Mrs. Mighels that no
had several errands, and would not
| be back for some hours. He was go
ing to see a lawyer, a doctor, and a
| literary agent, and after his business
was attended to, he would crafty an
old wish of his and go to see Gold.
| smiths grave. After a very brief
period, to Mrs. Mighels's surprise, he
| returned. why" exclaimed his wife,
how did you accomplish so much in
| such short time?" Because" said
| Mr.. Mighels, "the lawyer the doctor,
and the literary agent were all out
| The only one in was Goldsmith"
In connection with Lord Curzcn's.
return to England, this story is being
| told in London: An American globe
| trotter dining with some English
| friends in Calcutta was asked If Amer
| leans took any interest in India. "Oh,
yes" was the Americans reply, land
they have some reason to do so. One
| day l met a lady knew in railway
carriage, and I handed her a news
paper in which was a paragraph head
ed, India and Lady Curzon.' She
settled down to read it with close
attention, and when she had finished
/ remarked to her: You seem inter-
! ested in that item about India Yes
she said, 4 am. When that young
man came out here and married little
Mary Letter / always said she would
make man of him, and so she has"
It Is related that recently Russell
Sage bought paper of a newsboy,
then, discovering that it was of the
vintage of the day before, demanded
and received his cent back. The news
boy INDUCED in bitter Renaissance as
follows: Say, wasn't that the limit?
Can't bunko that old Teller, with all
his money, but he bunKoed me, t'other
day, and | wanted to get square. Tell
youse how it was. The old man came
along, took a pape often me, then dips
down in his pocket and fishes out
coin. He opens me hand, puts the
coin in it, closes me fingers over the
coin, and gives me hand pat. Well,
say! fought sure l had dime er a
quarter, but when | opens me hand
dere's nothin' but a cent, Just the
price of the pape! Wasn't that q
bunko game? An I couldn't get
square"