davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02

| wouldn't give it to a tramp to wash
his feet with. A friend of mine
bought some a few days ago and it
gave her skin disease and made her
look a fright. My toilet soap costs 80
cents cake. and my husband would
divorce NE if | used anything cheap
er! There are two ladies whose huS-
bands allow them $500 a month pin
money, and yet they are ready TO
scratch each others eyes out over
three-cent cakes of toilet soap! There's
sign of pins at three cents a paper.
| don't want any, you know, but I'd
just like
She made a jump and followed a
cash girl into the press. That is, she
managed to squeeze ahead of an old
lady with gold glasses and a young
woman with a Roman nose and take
them by surprise. They recovered
after moment, however, and crowded
her against dumpy woman with such
force that she was glad to get back TO
the corset counter alive.
Never again in all my life will I
make fool of myself by attending an
other bargain sale!" she gasped. as the
tears came to her eyes. Il didn't want
those pins, as | said to myself, but
had curiosity to see them. They
are just what l thought they were
brass crowbars, with points so dull
you couldn't stick 'em into pumpkin
pie. Think of lady using three-cent
pins around her house, when the cheap
est second girl or cook would be
ashamed to ask for anything under
seven! There's lawyers wife with
a 500 dress and S25 hat, and yet
she's got her elbows into everybody's
ribs In her mad desire to buy five pa
pers of pins at saving of four cents
a paper. I'm going home, l am.
just dropped in to see the women make
idiots of themselves. When you
catch me-"
At that instant, says the Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune, her eye caught
sight of a sign: Corset covers for
seven cents" and with a push and a
jam and rush she made her way into
the crowd and finally reached the
counter and ordered two. She was
wreck from hat to shoes, and had
broken her parasol and lost her shop
ping bag. but she had found a real bar
gain, and was happy at last
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Jersey saIoonkeepers Alarmed

An amusing complication resultant
upon an old tavern law is before the
courts in New Jersey. Some enterpris-
ing saloon antagonist has unearthed an
ancient statute which provides that all
places furnishing entertainment for men
shall also provide stables for the ac-
commodation of beasts. There is great
excitment among the New Jersey sa-
loonkeepers in fear of the enforcement
OF this law. They hope the next legisla-
ture will come to their relief by perhaps
repeating the old law.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Your Doy-My How.

THAT was my boyi" cried a piercing
voice. A temperance lecturer had
thrown upon the screen a photograph of
a boy dying in delirium tremens. 1t was
a country town, and the photograph had
been taken in q distant city But the
mothers heart knew and claimed the
boy. That was my boy" she ex-
claimed. as she swooned away After
ward she said. Yes, go on and show
the picture all YOU wish. 1t may save
some other mothers darling from the
same terrible fate"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02

d the saloon playing cards and drink
Eng replied Senator Humphrey.
The father seemed speeches. for a
moment, and then from a heart full of
distress, cried out. ''Oh. God! how shall
save my boy from ruin?"
You have a grave problem to solve"
Il would give half | am worth to de-
stroy every saloon in the county" said
the banker
"Ah! II seems cruel to remind you of
1t now, but you should have come to
that conclusion when we wanted you to
Join us in the fight to keep them out of
the county. Now they have your boy.
and ] do not know what you can do.
May God help you"
Why should not the father expect
his boy to fall in with what he en-
dorsed? Parentsi think of that and
vote 10 outlaw the saloon.--State Is
sue
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02

marked down to IL cents. They are
simply 15-cent stockings marked up
to IL. just as my husband says. They
are not fast colors, and they have
been kicking around the store for the
last year. 1 simply wanted to look
at 'em and see"
Here the little woman paused, drew
a long breath, and dashed at an open
ing in the crowd. 1t closed up before
she could reach it, however, and she
was flung back again.
Il wasn't trying to get in there" she
explained to herself, as she leaned
against a pillar to recover her breath
- ehow all about that toilet soap, and
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
HOW TO SAVE THE BOY.
Sad Incident which Brought Home
to One Father the Need of
Closing the Saloon

"A banker in Allegan county, Mich,
Snree or four years ago voted to license
saioons and they were brought back
INTO the county. A few weeks ago ex-
senator Humphrey was at a hotel in
Aliegan and looking out he saw the
banker walking back and forth in front
d the hotel barroom, and looking in
when anyone opened the door, The
senator went out and spoke to the
banker
The banker said, Senator, am I'M
sasy about my boy. Do you think he
may be in the saloon, did you see any
thing of him?"
"Yes. l saw him in the back room
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Little Woman at Bargain Sale.
She Knew the Who Thing Was Cheat the Goods
Advertised. Wouldn't Make Fool of rua
Cumbd to the Temptation Against No Woman Is Proof

We'll, I'm glad of it, exclaimed the
little woman, as she got out Of the jam
and Strengthened her hat and borrowed
two pins to make repairs 60 her dress.
Il might have known better Tran to
come to this sale. This bargain-coun-
ter business is all a cheat, ard II be
glad to know that all these women are
sure to be swindled. Just look at EN-,
will you? They are almost tearing
the clothes off each other to get at
those stockings.
1 didn't intend to buy any-not me.
l know all about 50-eent stockings
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Pertinent Inoufrx.

i never use any of the butter sold
In the markets on my table," remarked
the landlady of Cumminsville hash
factory. This butter came from my
ancle's dairy in Michigan.
That reminds me-" joined the irrel-
evant boarder. that physical exercise
is a great thing. suppose this butter
acquired its wonderful strength by
walking all the way. did 1t not?'-Cin-
einnati Enquirer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Boy Cnnrht ,y a Cs,ash

Otto Scavinslly, IL years old. had an
exciting ,ussel with catfish weighing
30 pounds. and but for the timely assist
ance of TWO men would probably have
lost his life. The boy was fishing on the
river bank at the foot of Chestnut street
In st. Paul, Mimi. when suddenly his
line was jerked violently, and he was
yanked headlong into the river. He
cried loudly for help, but held on to the
line. James Goodhue and Thomas Muir
ply heard his cries and pulled him out
OF the water. They landed the catfish
after a struggle
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Treating of DrunLard. in norway

In Norway GrunlIness is punished BY
imprisonment. AS soon as a man is In.
generated the delinquent has loaf and
wine morning and evening. The bread
Is served in wooden bowl full of wine
IN which 1t has been soaking for ar
hour. The first day the drunkard swaI.
lows his allowance willingly enough
The second day 1t seems less pleasing
At the end of eight or ten days prisoners
have been known to abstain altogethe,
from the food thus pitilessly presented
This course of treatment finished. the
drnnkard. except in rare instances, Il
radically cured.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
TEMPERANCE NOTES.

During the last IL months while the
saloon was running at Wells, Tex, there
were SO cases up before the mayors
court, and during the following IL
months, with prohibition In force. only
four cases were before the mayors
court
England's prime minister promised
the liquor men that he would introduce
in parliament a bill in their interest
favoring compensation. Since the prime
minister made that announcement In
two districts elections have been held;
and in both cases men opposed to the
government on compensation have been
elected.
IF the church were united, do you
think we would have our nations
blighted as they are to-day by the drink
traffic? What is the church doing? She
is guiltily silent and guiltily inactive.
individuals are at work, but the church
has never yet risen in the majesty of her
possibilities and gripped the question.
Ii is her duty to do it."-Rev. G.. Camp
bell Morgan.
Judge Munson. Of the Vermont SUI
preme court. in his Interpretation OF the
liquor law before a Rutland county
grand jury on September is, declares
that the wholesale iicuor dealer must
contine his sales to licensed retail deal
ers, and cannot solicit orders nor deliver
goods in other license towns than in
those In which he is located. If this de-
c:sion holds 1t may bankrupt the lead
Ing wholesalers In that state.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
THE ONLY THRoU0n SLEEPING CAR s.Ma
BETWEEN THn SOUTHEAST AND
KANSAS CITY
w. I. SAUNDERS
GsnI Agent Passenger DepartsnoaC
ATLANTA. Ga.
Now Tourist Sleeping Car Line to
California.

Commencing December 9th, the
Frisco Sy stem will inaugurate through
Pullman Tourist Sleeping Car service
between Birmingham. Ala, and San
Francisco, California Cars win leave
Birming ham at 1920 p. M, every Tues
day, and will be routed via: the Frisco
System to Kansas City, Rock Island
System to Pueblo. Denver and Rio
Grande and Rio Grande Western TO
Ogden and Southern Pacific to San
Francisco.
Requests for reservations should be
addressed to
w. T. SAUNDERS, General Agent,
Pass. Dept.
Corner Pryor and Decatur SITS
Atlanta. Ga
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02

allowed the clay to retain the footprint
In the course of time the pipe with the
impression was shunted into another
pipe without an impression, other pieces
were added. and finally the whole string
of clay cylinders were buried under
ground to run the moisture out of the
reverend gentleman's front yard. Then
the pipe and the footprint were forgot
ten.
Thirty years later hard-shell Baptist
minister by the name OF Flanagan
Rev. Pat they used to call him-came
from Pennsylvania to visit Rev. MIR.
Webster and he brought along with him
his celebrated coon dog Digemout. The
dog was known all through the noun
tains of Pennsylvania for his marvellous
seeming qualities, and his owner was
consequently very proud of him. Rev.
Mr.. Flanagan arrived one Saturday
! night, and the next morning after break
fast and worship and a mutual agree
ment that IL would not cause the record
ing angel TO dip for ink should they go
out to see If any 'coons were abroad.
the two toilers in the Lords vineyard
stepped forth and were sizing up the
surrounding timber for a likely place
when Rev. Pat wondered aloud what the
dickens the pup was scratching for in
the yard.
Sure enough, Digemout was busy.
His eyes sparkled with warm prospects
just beyond his paws, and Rev. Mr..
Webster, remembering the old drain,
suggested that mink might have crawled
into 1t. Mink? Rev. Pat rather guessed
not Digemout was coon dog, and to
'coons alone he gave HIS attention. Mink
be fiddled, the dog had not forgotten his
education.
'Sic i'm, boy" shouted the reverend
visitor and Digemout worked faster.
breathed harder and looked fiercer. In
order to hurry matters Mr. Webster
fetched an old shovel from the smoke
house and began to dig. In a moment
man and dog had reached the drain pipe,
and the dog with yell crowding on yell
of delight placed his nose into the all
enduring coon track made in the mold
ed clay 80 years before.
There" exclaimed Rev. Pat, with
overflow enthusiasm, II knew there was
coon somewhere beneath the sod; that
dog never fooled his master"
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Presidential sarcasm

Are there any objections to the
minutes as read?" asked Mrs. u. May
Leedus, president of the Outsome-
hurst Woman's club.
There were no objections.
Nobody had heard the reading OF
the minutes.
For everybody was talking.
silence gives consent" said the
president, loudly. "The minutes will
stand approved Chicago Tribune
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
The New Theme.

How to prohibit prohibition" was
the chief theme of discussion at the Ma
tional Liquor Dealers association in
Baltimore recently. The cry used to be
prohibition does not prohibit" anG yet
some how, the liquor men always vio-
lently opposed IL. Now they recognize
that prohibition does prohibit. and their
problem is "how to prohibit prohibi-
ton. Western Recorder.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
WIFE IS HIS BOSS.
And She Wouldn't Let Her Husband
on TO Defend Himself I'm
Suit for Divorce.

John Helmess could not attend his
wife's divorce suit in Judge Tuthill's
court at Chicago the other day. because
Mrs. Holiness, who is head of the de-
partment in which he is employed In a
downtown department store. would not
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02

OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES LADY
or Gentleman to manage business i'm
this County and adjoining territory for
house or solid financial standing $50. 90
straight cash salary and expenses paid
each Monday direct from headquarters.
Expense money advanced; position per-
manenG. Address, Manager, COS Monon
Bldg, Chicago.
11-21-0Sto1- 9-04
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02

He-Am l the first man you were
ever in love with?
She-Yes; and you're the last man I
ever expected to be in love WITH
Yonkers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02

Gashaway-What made you propose
to her on the steamer?
Cleverton-I wanted to prove I could
love her. even when she was seasick.-
Brooklyn Life.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Russians Marry Young.
Juvenile C.assiacatio,

When man turns his attention to
any particular thing, what would you
call him?" asked the teacher
A rubber-neck, ma'am." quickly re-
Piled Tommie-Yonkers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Compensation.

Fhppe-Stoutleigh is getting SO fai
that he can't walk.
Fappe-Yes; but he is getting -
fach that he doesn't have to-Towu
eopica,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
a Genuine Artf.t,

Mabel-Sagsby is fine pianist.
Gladys-He is?
Mabel-Yes; he can play them clas-
steal things and make them sound iusi
Hks ragtime.-N. Y. Times,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Intact this wonderful LUOM.4N
is the Greatest on Earth.

Now If you want to find out
what your future life will be and
what your past has been, and want
to have it changed from evil to
good, send at once to this wonderD
full medium.
Send lock of hair, date of your
birth and Is cents in silver, apd
receive your life written froI.
cradle to grave. Do not send po>
} tage stamps. Address all ,etterS
to MRS. DIR. WHITp
1917 =: Pratt St Baltimore, Ma.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02

SOLUTIONS TO LAST WEEKS PUZZELS: left side Of nnr
in
NO 2Head OF policeman
at boy wrist the sbreast - - ~ "N'' 100 aA
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
When Money Talks

a quiet little game is one in which
money does nearly all the talking.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-02
Model school Regulations,

In the interest of preventing con-
sumption in the boarding schools of
France. only metal bedsteads are per
mitted; every child older than II years
must sleep in room by itself: and in
the kitchen and in the dining-room
scientific precaution must be taken
against the disease. And no pupil or
teacher who is known to have consump-
ton is permitted in any school Cir
culars, prepared by physicians, are
sent to every school principal, which
explain in detail preventive measures
of all kinds.
Russians Marry Young.
The European country in which there
is the largest number of marriages of
men under the age Of 81 is Russia
The Cook County herald., 1904-11-19
Fight with Sewer Rats

call when the bluecoats report to the
station for night instructions. When
the first comers reached the steps
they saw the rates. The latter show
ed fight, and the policemen waited
for reinforcements. AS soon as a
good-sized squad had gathered, the
men drew their clubs and blackjacks
and charged in body.
1t was short but ferocious strug.
gle. The rats, driven to a corner,
fought viciously, and the clubs played
right and left The end of the en-
counter was the death of most of the
rodents, the bodies Of which were
cast back into the sewers that had
been their abode.
The police say it was one of the
most thrilling experiences they ever
had. Roll call was delayed until the
rats, which barred entrance to the
station house, had been swept away.
Philadelphia Inquirer
The Cook County herald., 1904-11-19

Policemen with drawn clubs last
night fought a sanguinary battle with
an army of big sewer rats on the
steps of the Trenton Avenue and Dau-
phin street police station.
1t was curious side feature of the
terrific storm OF the late afternoon.
The downpour had flooded all the sew
ers in that section of the city and
two scores of rats-big, ferocious deni-
zens of the city's underground ave-
nues-were forced to the surface.
They sought shelter on the Streets,
only to find pavements and cutters
flush with water. Plunging madly
through the miniature flood, the rats
sought "a shelter and the most avail
able point of vantage was the high
steps Of the station house.
Here they backed up, apparently
waiting for the storm to blow over.
1t was just before the o'clock roll
The Cook County herald., 1904-11-19
copyright. 1900. by Amelia E. Barr

could entertain-it was not the fault
of Joris. This was the assurance that
turned her joyful~stears into gladder
smiles, and that made her step light
as bird on the wing, as she ran down
the stairs to find her mother; for her
happiness was not perfect till she
shared it with the. heart that had
borne her sorrow, and carried her
grief through many weary months with
her.
In the first hours of her recovered
gladness she did not even remember
Rem's great fault, nor yet her own
carelessness. These things were only
accidentals, not worthy to be taken
into account while the great sweet
hope that had come to her, flooded
like a springtide every nook and cor
ner of her heart. In such mood how
easy it was to answer Annie's letter.
She recollected every word she had
written to Hyde that fateful day, and
she wrote them again with a tenfold
iOy
The Cook County herald., 1904-11-19

'Now .cal'lated a. mans hungrys
them folks would be willing to pay a
quarter for good big homemade
sandwich, but they held back. They
was plenty would pay dime. could
"a sold out 1,twicet over at a dime
each-but I only sold five at quar-
ter. ,. II
"Tll wait till they get hungrier,
SIS l. l went outside and set on a
snow pile and watched them fellers
shoveling out that train. Seemed to
me they want like to git the train
out before next summer so didn't
hurry about going abroad again with
them sandwiches. Jes' as I made up
my mind it was time, though, along in
front come one of them rotating
Wh1rligig plows they sent up from the
other way, and before you could say
Jack Robinson away went the train
behind it through the cut it made.
"Well, sir, as sat watching that
train hadn't gone more'n two hundred
yards before l see had made a great
mistake not to sell them sandwiches
for ten cents. I see it plain as could
be. An I'm seeing it yet, for Aunt
Sarah an me has been living on ham
sandwiches fer three weeks, and they
amt half used up."-Youth's Com.
panion.
The Cook County herald., 1904-11-19
Uncle Jed Too Graspin 4

It had long been almost a proverb
in the village that Jedediah Perkins
didn't know chance when ne saw
one." The public discussion of this
falling had often come to Uncle Jed's
ears, and had sounded loudly in them.
Worst of all, he had to admit that he
was, in the language of his neighbors.
easy" He paid the most for what
he bought and got the least for what
he sold of any man within a dozen
miles.
But uncle Jed saw a chance at last.
railway runs close to his house. and
in the middle of winter during a tre-
mendous snow storm, passenger
train was stalled in the cut through
his south pasture, and was unable to
go forward or back.
After it had been there about half a
day Uncle Jed saw his chance. There
were hundred or two passengers.
eager to buy food. He had a large
store OF ham and bacon. He would
have Aunt Sarah make it up into sand
wiches, and they would clear a small
fortune.
so that's what we done,' said
Uncle Jed, telling of it afterward.
I'VE made up every bit of ham in the
house into sandwiches and took 'em
down there and offered 'em for sale
for a quarter apiece.
The Cook County herald., 1904-11-19

you any opportunity I wonder at what
hour she will release Joris Van
Heemskirk!" Am #.S$ <fyy>S fy Il. % .,
= 1T viii be later than it ought to
be-" =. r. -"
Indeed it was so late that Madame
Van Heemskirk had locked up her
house for the night, and was troubled
at her husbands delay-even a. little
cross.
can old man like you, Joris," she
said in tone of sitting
till nine o'clock with the last runaway
from Paris: a cold you have already
and all for a girl that threw her senses
behind her, to marry Frenchman."
much she has suffered, Lysbet."
much she ought to suffer. And |
believe not in Arenta Van Ariens' suf
fering."
II will sit little by the fire, Lys,
bet. Sit down by me. My mind is full
Of her story. Bitter fears and suffer
ing she has come through. Her hus
band was guillotined last May, and
from her home she was taken-no
time to write to friend-no time to
save anything she had, except a string
of pearls, which round her waist fol
many weeks she had worn. Hungry
and sick upon the floor of her prison
she was sitting, when her name was
called; for bead after bead of he1
pearl necklace had gone to her jailor
only for little black bread and a cur
of milk twice day; and this morning
for twenty-four hours she had been
without food or milk"
"The poor little one! What did she
do?"
when in that terrible iron arm
The Cook County herald., 1904-11-19
Court Waited for Scrap

THE practice of law in the country
may not be so lucrative as in the big
city, but it is vastly more amusing,'
said a lawyer of prominence up in
Senator Platt's home town, Owego.
"One experience rewarded me for all
the trouble I had in getting to the
scene of the trial.
1.-The case was going along smooth.
ly and I was examining an important
witness, when from the rear of the
crowded court room this remark was
interjected in loud voice..
""That mans liar
Il hesitated a moment. expecting
the judge, a bluff country jurist, to
take some action. He said nothing. so
continued to question the man on the
stand.
"Presently came another outburst
from the voice in the crowd. It was
to the effect that the witness had no
truth in his makeup and his story
was an offense against justice. Still
the court said not word.
Feeling that it was up to me to do
something, asked the judge to have
the person who dared to interrupt the
proceedings committed for contempt
The Judge leaned over to me and
whispered:
The Cook County herald., 1904-11-19
Content in Honest Toll

what he was. He has taken few
more precautions against the seasons
storms-a rushmat protects his back
and his felt hat is drawn further
down to shield his face. But the for
est is always sending back the echo
of his valiant hammer. How many
sudden tempests have broken over his
bent back, how much adverse fate
has fallen on his head, on his house,
on his country! He continues to
break his stones, and coming and 60
ing find him by the roadside, smiling
in spite of his age and his wrinkles,
benevolent, speaking-above all in
dark days-those simple words of
brave men which have so much effect
when they are scanned to the break
ing Of stones.-From ''The Simple
Life" by Charles Wagner. i; J