Smyrna times., 1904-05-18
How Stumpy
Learned to
Subtract ....By ALEC
~ BRUCE
by ALEC
BRUCE
Copyright, 1903, by T. C. Mcclure

In Munkersville everybody agreed |
that Stumpy Dent was silly; not very
much off, but off. Pa Dent himself |
did not deny 1t. OF course ma was an
exception to the rule and vigorously |
denied everything and anything that
touched on the softness of Stumpy.
And toward pa, because of his sittin'
on the fence attitude. she assumed a
frigid front.
"Silence is jes' the same as consent.
Dave Dent" she complained bitterly
eying her spouse with shrewish look
Shame on ye. an him your own flesh
an blood!'
But Dave paid no heed to these out
bursts. AS a matter of fact. pa was
past speaking to Stumpy. He had
fought the good fight and failed. In
time perhaps. he allowed. intelligence
might penetrate to Stumpy's brain.
Good humored. fat and f1abby.
Stumpy had seen nine healthy sum-
mers. His eyes were blue and watery.
his cheeks dimpled and red. Rain or
shine he wore a hayseed hat two sizes
too small for his abnormal crown, kept
in place by an elastic so tight that it
puckered and reddened his skin. His
pants were drawn up three inches
above his knees, and. though ma tried
hard to prevent it. Stumpy's kneecaps
were always exposed, for Stumpy had
a weakness for curbstones and mar
bles, and rather than stand on his feet
he hustled along on all fours.
In school work Stumpy was disap-
pointing, two grades behind the times.
Yet he could read. spell, add to the
thousands and would attack millions
if he dared. But, oh. subtraction. sub
traction = not even a standing black
board example could enlighten
Stumpy's mind!
His long suffering teacher. like pa,
was nearing the evaporation point.
when suddenly a happy thought occur
red to her. She had observed Stumpy
on the curbstone playing marbles.
Sure! He must have marbles in his
pocket. He did have them, a bulging
pocketful, jealousy guarded, and after
a struggle she successfully extracted
three. But it was all she could do to
get them, and for days her soft, white
hand retained evidence of the getting.
''Stumpy Dent" she cried, with blaz-
ing eyes, now tell what l have done!
'Cobbed ma marbles" walled the
outraged pupil, with streaming eyes
and waggling toes.
Hush, hush. sonny. I'm going tC
give them all back to you. I'm only
10 to
is. Now. how many marbles had yoU
when you came to schoolY'
Twelve" shouted Stumpy.
How many have you nowT'
One by one Stumpy counted then
and considered.
How manyT' repeated the teacher.
Twelve when ye give 'em bacl
t'me," calmly announced the hopeless
one.
From pent up forms a roar of boyisl
laughter made sensitive Stumpy tear
full and tight as a clam, and ava,
went hope like the flmy wake of
dream.
OF course Pa Dent soon heard tn
story and looked sadly at his son. H
himself had tried the practical illustra
ton scheme, but the lad was unrespor
sive.
"Stumpy," he demanded, shaking tn
boys fat hand little roughly. "dO 20
like school"
''Yis," was the glib reply.
''Then you must do better or I'll tax
you away"
Now, stumpy spoke the truth. II
really loved his teacher. School ws
his heaven, and in his clumsy way
had tried hard to catch subtraction
But II wasn't pas threat that awake
ed Stumpy To Darby Peck. the town
leading grocer, must be given the ere
It. Darby had a way with him, sue
a way that for every customer b
rival, Bollinger, boasted, Darby cou
set up four, and Darby had just ope
ed a branch near Stump's school.
"Naw, the laddies' trade ain't much
he admitted, "but Am a-caterin' tie
jest the same"
Here hitherto Bollinger had held fl
sway. But Bollinger was mean. ha
as nails; he didn't give marbles aw;
with every five cent purchase. b
Darby did, so Darby cOrralled +
school, Bollinger tried hard TO get
back. At half price, as a lure he a
vertised squeakin' balloons and stlc
Of candy. the chowchow kind. w
wanted squeakin' balloons and cho
chow candy? And again Darby we
him one better: