Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1904-08-20
WHEN A MAN SHOPS

the things his wife wears" said a Wash
ington department store hoorwalker, hes
in bad as the sports say. When he learns
all Of her sizes he becomes enamored of his
ability as shopper for her, and once
married man gets into that condition it's
all on with him so far as ever having any
loose change is concerned. The women, of
course. are foxy enough to encourage their
husbands at this proxy shopping business.
In fact. lot of wives deliberately train
their husbands at that sort Of thing She
says to him. for instance, as he's starting
for the Office. that she wants a pair of
gloves to wear that evening, but that she
really doesn't feel like going down town for
them Won't he please get them for her?
He asks her the size. and she writes 1t
down on a slip of paper:
The man walks up to the glove counter
or the first store he reaches and says to
the girl:
naming the size
about what price" the girl INQUIRIES
knowing perfectly well that a man would
rather get run over by milk wagon than
oh. 1 want the good stun, the man
says. In that off-hand, Tm-no-cheap-indf-
vidual way. and the girl flashes pair of s.
white kid gloves on him.
They look all right says the man. pick
ing the gloves up and pretending to know
something about them by the way he In
spects the seams How much do they set
Three says the girl. and the man pro-
duces the three and takes the gloves
1 guess I'm kind of poor when it comes
70 that shopping thing, the man says to his
wife when he losses the gloves into her lap
that evening. Kind of common, ornery-
looking gloves. that pair, yes?
His wife undoes the bundle and holds the
gloves out before her enthusiastically.
Why, where in the wide world did you
get such bee-yu-ti-ful ones? she asks him.
while he swells up with pride. why, you
extravagant old thing, you! They couldn't
a pair exactly like them at Ta-ra-rum s
only last Tuesday marked s6-imported.
you know. Why, you reckless old lover
and then he stands grinning elatedly while
he's getting Rugged.
And that's the way many married man
puts his head into the moose. There isn't
anything easier in this life than for
married woman to fan her husband into
flame of standardization, and when she gets
him nudged along that way as to his clever
ness at the shopping business for her It's
about all over with him. He'll stand tap
any old day for the Joy of having his wife
throw up her hands ecstatically over the
gear he's picked out for her.
when he gets to know all Of her sizes.
as he does In time, he's in worse than ever.
He's trained for fair when he gets 1T as pat
as that, and he moves right along to his
doom.
Passing by wirtiow in which there's
swell display of waists he sees one that 1t
strikes him would-look mighty we'll on his
wife-and it's only fair to say, when 1t
comes to that, that most men nowadays
have frst-rate idea as to whatll look well
on their wives
He stops in front of the display and
'rubbers' and begins to figure on the size of
his bank roll.
Eighteen bucks for that waist, eh?' he
says to himself, Why, that Is like throwing
a brick through the window and stealing
it-cheap as dirt. B'lieve I've got So In my
pantaloons now, and I guess I wouldn't
make hit for myself If I'd walk In and toss
that waist at the wife. Just her color at
that. Let's see she wears thirty-six
waist and then nine times out Of ten, he
bolts into the store and gets the waist,
even II the giving up the $1S entails a
number of genuine sacrihces on his part,
just for the sake of the applause he knows
he will receive for his artistic taste. When
he carries the waist home his wife immedi-
ately calls in all the nearby women of her
acquaintance and spreads the waist out and
shows it to them and tells them that her
husband picked 1t out all by his lonesome
The other women jolly the game along by
declaring that the waist Is just grand and
gorgeous, and say that deed they wished
their husba nds would fetch things home
that way declaring, however, that they
the other husbands, never think Of such
thing
"The wife of the man trained thus far
gets him to design her gowns for her after
she has got him thoroughly seasoned. She
tells him that she has given up trying TO
arrange the details of pretty frocks for
herself-his Judgment is SO infallibly su-
perior to hers, and the things he has sug-
gested have always attracted so much at
tention and approval. When wife gets
her husband to believing that he's a star
dress designer his condition is hopeless
There's no cure for him.
.She knows exactly what she wants
and by gradual stages. but making him
believe all the time that he's doing 1t all
himself, she leads him around to express
ing his preference for exactly the thing
she wants and then it's all over. She gets
the frock that she has made up her mind
to have and he gets the credit of having
designed 1.-THE poor jay.
II hate to say it, being a married man
myself-but we're easy in the hands of
our wives!"