davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1904-09-30
Tplgenbe gobe Gpger

Tan faus / 0oniib 9uth. publ.
9ouie, 8lair, Nebr.:
sSonas Sic:
2obien og bans 9uTtru. 227 Si>
Der / Omfag SOC.
&omanbprens Optre. 6ortelfing
fra Norge. 204 Sioer / Smilae
Doc.
Naar Solen gaar neb. 5ortelz
ling poa 184 Siber / OmiIdg 35c.
Onbe Magter. JorteGling paa
205 Siben / Omilag SOC.
Rour Sernteppet falber. PIG Si>
Der | Smilag SOC.
CART Gtlar:
gpngeHgpbin9tn og 9~ronningens
8aetmefter. GAG Siber / Omilag
$1.00. Snb6. SIPS.
Soft / Heb. s Omilu9 25c.
Martba fra @igerspolb og andre
5ort91inger. 104 Siber. pris
25c.
Sob os 5sif. SortelIinger meb
2O8 Siber | Sm1lag SOC.
9jerneet. National !9iiioriif Hoz
mar meb $50 Siber iOmilug Coz.
arigsbileoer. 272 Siber / Om=
flag SOC.
8. 5. gtpalb:
Daniel 3anbou. 9iitoriit Goz
man. 379 Siber / Smil log Csc.
Sens @lob ben 9aarbe. 9iItoriif
Homan fra bet 13be Iarbunbrebe.
$ Omflag Goo.
2utb. publ. 9oue.
Blair, Hebr.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1904-09-30

ON Striftemoal og Rabpere. Gn
&ommunionbog for lutberfe
9riitne, famlet og o%perfat at pa
flor Sfop. ga Siber inbb. 25c.
@n Sfolemei tier efter 6errens Sjerte.
@f paitor q. Sriis. 45 Sibsr,
inbb. prts 15c.
@runbig Sorflarins ober 0r. Mors
tin 2utbers lille &atefismus meb
Silfsielie at Or. S. 6. 0ietri9.
129 Siber. Snbb. Coo.
Sritirfen eIer en- at Staten uafbens
gig epang.zlutb. Stebmenisbebs
rette Stittelfe. @f Or. Waltber.
216 Siber, eobt inbb. pris 6Oc.
De bebenbes aanbelise &ebe af al
2eb eler 3riitenbommens artitler,
iamlebe CUBS bellige Napn Ill
9Gre og Menneitene, / bib Stono
be enb lepe, til 9jertetrsit oe
Sufpalelie at Mag. $. s. 9pols
fee. 4. Spla9. 318 Siber, gobt
inhb. pris Goo.
Den epg. lutb. fpnfiee &irte pau
Sorben at Or. @altber, %operIat At
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1904-09-30
Qlf Suar Marins 6anien:

Sierteifub.
2ibstanEr Ii 9berbagstleber. So
Sfber. S Omilag (messt biais)
10 Gent.
Wabs Mnberen.
st MinbeIf rift ON en- afbsb @sn.
so Stber. s Smflag Is Gents.
Slteblabet.
Gn Samlins Of 80 Striftiprog
meb pasienbe Salmepeps. trptt
pao lise iaa mango Sort at perz
ganwnt. Dist err inblagt i ct
5pberal. Patten er ontrent 3"
lang, 2" breb og ]" tpt. iaa ben
er betoem at babe | en- 0e itefomme.
priie len er 25 Gents.
Reifetanfer.
16 Siber. s Smffas 5 Gents.
g almebdgt t.
80 Siber. s Omlas 10 Gents.
% btdars9ape.
1899. S OmiIag 5 Gents.
Il ng srugter.
228 Sfber. Snbb. | S6irtings>
Ibinb 80 Gents. getruetn .nser'
fra Observation-Disclosures, ofbolbt I
Chicago, Sn., | Sommeren 1893.
228 Siber. s Sbirtingsbinb 80
Gents.
DO riff 2utb. pubf. 5oufs.
Blair, Nebr. !,
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1904-09-30
For 5koIen.
Sfolen.

Stolen er fom ct Stattammer.
bpor Stottene af @rfuring oe 8unos
fab, fom oSl9gterne oanbt, er I
Sem for be tonme1oe 5lpgter, faa
at N11tfbens Slegt | fort Sib tan
aennemlebe be fpunone Sl9oters
2ib og 9sfte 5rueten of beres Msje.
Og mort big bette, bu DorbenDe
Slagt, Iom benter poa Qrp fra bine
59bre, Der ed big ben tofteligite
Orb efterIdOt - guu, tag ben i Be-
Ifbbelfes-. Sfolen orbeiber pdd at
blibe | Stanb til bebre, rigere og
fulbere at tunne mebbele ben enfelz
tie efter bens b~eibnOerlige 9ebob.
Og bbem pil fremOeles lebe lit Gin
ben / l1piOenbeoens 5attigbom og
Mrmob. Qipet er en- Stole, flyer
man, pad ben Maabe fommer Ioa
Gle | Stole; men beb paa en- Sfole
at tilegne fig nogen 0dnnelie os
uooannelie, lGrer man li9eIom libt /
Sorifub for 2toets Stole. Og ON
Der enb eqers er noget, Tom fan birz
fe til i'm egen SOerfpbi9beb, faa
fan Stolen bet dlbrig; men bet mob
iatte er berimob Stlfelbet; t6i Sra
pene potter, og bper nb Slegt TONI
mer ogfoa | ben 5oritanb nBgen til
8erben, og tr9n9er til at tfl9be5.
Og mar MI Stolen indrt Itol be-
gbnbe, t9nter jeg mig mango, fom
gaor meo oisfe Sberbejelfer: fan jeo
nad at fomme til Stolen | Mar2
bbor naar fan ieg fomme at Steb2
til bens 8egbnbelfe eIer Ienere2 og
6borlGn9e tan jeg faa blipe Der?
Der er mango, iom fortrBb, be albrig
fom pao Sfole; men jeg trdf albrig
pda nogen, fom fortrsb, be fom Der,
og fa9be: ON Ri funbe faa tilbage,
6poo bet toitebe os at gda til Sfole.
naar bi bible opgtbe al l1bbptte Ri
fit Deruf, iud bilbe Ri i~ngenlunbe gps
re bet, ia life for bet bobbelte. MGe
be un9e | Sen forenebe &irfe burbe
6eisge Stolen for fortere e[er lem
gere 3ib. Ser burbe 9sres no9et for,
at be unge / Samfunbet bleb till
ftraffelig opmerfI om pda bette. =
Mteoens ieg MI n9bner be unge /
Sdmf unoet fommer jeg | Sanfer ON,
at Der er nogen, maj fan falbeSdmz
funoets unge, bisie, fom 6or maattet
I'friIte ben tunge Sob, life at bofIe
op / en- 6jemnets 9rebs bos Gober
og WeQber og Seifenbe, men bar
mddttet fable inart en- mart en- ans
ben fpr 5aber pg Mober, jeg tenfer
pad benz, Tom gaar ub fra bore 8srz
nebjem. 6pab ifal be, ffal life ogz
iaa be paa Sfote? Samfunbet prez
ber Der at gere libt for anbres un=
ge, 6pab nil bet gsre / bette Stpffe
for egne9 0eb ben Sib, be
forldber 8srnebjemmet, burbe be
babe minOit ct Qars fri SfoIegang,
enten peb ben 3tb eller ogIda Ies
mere, efter iom bet bite fig for ben
entelte melt tienligt. 5sler Sams
funoets @nipar ober for anbres |
faa Sen ieenbe, burbe bet fele bet
enb meget here for fine eens. Del
er fom ofteit ct ringe ubbptte Der
fdas beb at gaa til common
f4ools", og mango bar ilet life fact
2ejli9beb til at gua Der ner iad re-
aelmeSiigt, iom be ifulbe foa Slut
ningen bliber, be Ienbes at Steb IL
ben ~enbosiaa at bore / 8eiibbelie al
be ollerusobenbigIte SfoletunbI fa>
Der. Oette bsr life iaa at bore.
0eIo2
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1904-09-30

gaIt. Otteien. 154 @iber, 9obt
inbb. 6Oc.
Misfionstesnin9. &ebigeret at pas
itor @inar Mulfsberg. 7. Morz
gang / ct 8inb. pris 75c.
2utb. 9ubL. 9oufe,
Blair, glebr.
Danskeren. [volume] (Neenah, Wis.) 1892-1920, 1904-09-30
Era Naifin, Nebr.

Den banfe 8eo9gelie | 4mes
rita ptrer fig Qar for Oar meo iterre
Strait beb Huitin. Settlementets
80 4ar gumIe !6iitorie pibner berz
ON paa et6pert glab. Der bar til
aqe 3iber pGret 5remgang; men De
iibite 4or piIer iterit lbbitling, for
ioo piot Der fan les.
Sioen 1. 4uguIt 1901 er 36
Gjenbomme - Iterre og minore =
gaaet ober paa bdnte S6Gnoer.
3enne llbbibelie at be 0dnl tes
6erreOemme ubaotil idmIer Jig /
bet Imuffe Refultat, at 125 9jem
ira Ruifin til 9arbb for 9iben be-
boes at M9no o9 8pinoer meb odnit
Blob / Qarerne. Oct er 5amilier,
uogaaebe fra iaa gobt Iom aae Ggne
at 0onmort, og tilmeb er 9ooebs
parten at benz Ssnner o9 Ogtre al
Smoataarsfolt, fom bjemme blot
tjeoe ener lejebe ct lille 9us, bOori
nun fun baObe bet turpeIigite los
TONNE.
Men / Omegnen al RuItin leber
gsrnene / ~pel6abenoe 9iem, iom ejer
fort grdbpis Spfping pod ale Oms
rddoer.
Gn Ioaoan gunitig Sitting fan
Qmerita giOe 5olt, fom intet beiios
Der, mar be Blot piaigt gsr Drug
at trofti9e 0Gnber og uonntter bGs
berlist erbOerpet Goos paa f%orItdns
big bis.
Sioite Ssnbag, ba jeg beIsgte ben
banfte airte. iom li9ger nuturs
tent omtrent / Wibtpunttet ef
Settlementets aloite part, rsrte fig
bos mig en- Mangfoloigbeb at idas
bdnne 3anter og 5o%reitiainser. 8eI5
opitob De peo at ie be mango oejli3e
Sjem, omgiOne at f~rugtbare Mdrfer,
men oels ogiua peb at ie pldoien
opfDlot al 80 Zine bug9ies ono
carriages, ipm bopbe fsrt be beies
eenbe fra nar og fj9rn. araftige,
pelnGrebs 6eite fob opitalbebe / to
iiarte og pruttiffe 9pgninger, ops
ferte i bette giemeb.
Gn praetis pr~aite6olig, trebiet al
iirlise 9Iomierbebe os en- Itpsgefulb.
fraftiet groenbe .2unO", foritsnneoe
bets bele 4nlrg.
Men bet Imufteite 9ibnesbprb ON
Ssttlementets araft, life alene ubs
abtil, men ogiaa inbabtil, er
bog noar alt tommer til aft, ieloe
airtebuiet, ,Serrens 9us", 6por
DANTE iomles til f9Ges OpbpgeelIe
cg Oplpsning paa Babrenes 3ro
og paa 5abrsnes Bis = paa bet
eamle G~oaneelium ON oSpnberss
5relie peb Sefus &riitus".
Den npe. lpie rummelige og net
ppntebe airfe par - fom ben altib
er - fplot til iibfte plabs. Selpz
fslselig tunoe mango, mango flere
bope fddet rummeliet S9be; tbi
,,bbor Der er 9ierterum. Der er ogiaa
6usrum". Oct bar un9e og eamle
pnbtg Concentrating. Gn lips
lie gerneItare : ON peb bet babe
!6unbrebe - bopbe plabs n9rmeIt
aorbsren. Wifs Sine Meit .leeebe"
meb Dbgtiebeb oe Sroitab paa Srs
eelets mango 3aneenter. MliIiften
6ruiebe os betosenbe os lsftenbe l.
msbe, os be talrige 8rirtes9nger
fang at Siertenserunb arparbise
Melobier iii samle Salmer, iom bar
lpbt gennsm 4orbunbreber unber
banff airfelip.
Den bdnite airte peb auitin OPP
retbolber en- COB TO Madnebers banIf
Sfole9dng = ndar ben ameritonite
Sfole bar 5erie og ben eier tiGise en-
pelorbnst SenbagsffoIe = Iittert faa
COB. at ben fseer fin 2ise. Oct
mao anfes for ct al airfelipets bebs
tie llbIlds, at man brdger ben obbes
tie Smfors for gsrnenes llnberbis>
ming | bet ,iom bsre Subs Hige til".
6enrunbne5ibers ,9e1iee" bar tiOs
ligt fert beres 8srn til ombbgeelia
pleje beb Serrsns Otter. pa Sc
Newport daily independent., 1904-07-05

We are open to the public for all business which constitutes safe & reliable banking
Newport daily independent., 1904-07-05
\ DRUGGIST (LL PROTECT YOU.

E know that many people hesitate to ssr&nd their money for medicines adver- tised in their local papers, because they are not positive whether they get some thing good or something worthless.
 Many people hesitate to try new rnedi- cines, and they are right i'll so doing.
 Every man and woman should be careful what they use in the way of medicine. For these reasons we make arrangements with your druggist to protect you on every bottle of Paracamph. We know from act ul experience and from the unquesdon- abl testimony of thousands of America s best people that Paracamph will do exact ly what we claim for it, so when we tell you that Paracamph is a quick relief and cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Sore Feet,
 Piles, Skin Diseases, Catarrh, Sore Throat Sore Lungs, Group and all forms of swell ings and Indammshons, we know that 1t will do exactly what We claim. If 1t fails In any case when used as directed, your drug gist the man you know and the man you have confidence in will refund your money. So why experiment with the various rem edies on the market, when you buy Para 'ca1nph on guarantee like this? We believe thai you are honest and believe that you will treat us right. We know If you do that yuu will be pleased with Paracamph. If you are suffering from any of the above ailments, geta bottle of Paracamph today Sold only in s5 cent so cent and $I.oo 'ottles, all good druggists, or sent direct pun receipt Of prica. The Psrscanph iompsny, Louiwille Ky, Q. $, A.
Newport daily independent., 1904-07-05
Your Heart. When Your Heart Fails 10 Pump Your Blood, Trouble
 Results.
Have you heart trouble?

Have you heart trouble?
 You have. If you find it hard to breathe after walking up stairs. exercising, etc. chest. back or shoulder. If you suffer from cold extremities. pale face blue lips. dry cough, swollen ankles
 If you have faintlng spells, breast pang. palpitation. redness of the face, discomfort In sleeping on one side.
 The only scientific treatment for this whole train of troubles is pr. Miles New Heart Cure
 Dr. Miles New Heart Cure Is the prescription of famous specialist. whose great success in treating obsti- nate nervous heart disease has made his name pre-eminent in the medical and scientific world
 The medicine will cure you. We know 1t. We want you to prove it If first bottle does not benefit. your druggist will give you back your money.
 'I have for several years suffered at times with heart trouble got so bad I could not sleep bali the night. and had to sit up on the side of the bed lots of times to get breath. Three of my brothers have died of heart trou- ble. and I thought was going the same way. but about two and a half years ago got a pamphlet about pr. Miles New Heart Cure and thought I would try a few bottles After using them I since then than before for several years trouble. ''-REV. JERRY HURT, Pastor Baptist Church, Hurt. kanA
Newport daily independent., 1904-07-05

FpPE Write to us for Free Trial < 4b66 Package of Or. Niles Ants PaIn PlIls, the New Scientlffc Remedy for Pain Also Symptom Blank. Our Specialist will diagnose your case, tell fpee 2e wAaf K SGpE REhs ssnh IgpI hsp s Esht & ! LA3oRATQR1Es, EkK14ARf, EQ.-
Newport daily independent., 1904-07-05
ADDITIONAL LOCAL.

Bob Neill of Batesville spent |lk Fourth with friends in the tity.
 Mrs. Charles Hays went to St. Louis Sunday night for a visit to the fair.
 Mrs. Sarah Askew is quite sick Y the home of her daughter, TT Mattie Moore.
 [iss Clara Beane came up m Russell Sunday for a few s visit to friends. MT. and Mrs. Ike Goldman left nday for Colorado, where they remain until September. 1r. and Mrs. A. Fels and little Ralph, will spend tae heated |n s,,aaat at Atlantic City, having l.. Minor and two little e,rX returned Monday from pleasant two weeks visit lives in Virginia.
 Garter and wife and Miss 
 Lynch of Cotton Plant It the Creighton Sunday. ke home from a visit with
 in .Searcy.
 fPrevallett, who n Wif6 Wis. Hattie Moore
 the millinery season, left home in St, Louis Monday Ing.
 Lnted Ten good men, with Nies preferred. Steady work, nevery Saturday. Apply to River Cooperage Company, Import, Ark. 59d5t
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
ERS.
HIS First Exnericnce

While on visit to a mining town,
not many miles from Sunderland, which
boasts of no professional barber, a gen.
ueman had perforce 10 submit his no.
Die countenance to the tender and anna
teur mercies of an lrishman from Cork.
by the name of Murphy. As the tears
rolled down his cheeks and the skin and
halr literally flew. he ventured to ask,
In a meant-to-be-sarcas way: Muir
ply, did you ever scrape pigs?'
Back came the reply, like a stone from
catapult: Never until to-day. SORT"
-Tit-Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Now Tourist Sleeping Car Line to
California

commencing December 9th, the
Frisco System will inaugurate through
Pullman Tourist Sleeping Car service
between Birmingham. Ala, and San
francisco, California. Cars will leave
Birmlneh ham at 1920 p. M, every Tues
day, and will be routed via: the Frisco
system to Kansas City, Rock Island
system Co Pueblo. Denver and Rio
Grande and Rio Grande Western to
Ogden and Southern Pacific to San
Francisco
Requests for reservations should be
addressed TO
w. L. SAUNDERS, General Agent,
Pass. Dept.
Corner Pryor and DECATUR SITS
Atlanta. Ga
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

Jack-So you asked old Gotrox for his
daughters hand in marriage, eh?
Tom-Sure, and IL was n regular
walkover for me-
Jack-A walkoveri
Tom-Yes The old man walked all
over me.-Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
FOR
Like nm Alarm Clock.

why do you insist on sitting nea,
the bass drum and cymbals at a grane
opera performance"
4 don't mind telling you as an ole
iriend, answered Mr.. Cumrox. TT,
the only way can make sure of not dis.
gracing mother and the girls by stay.
Ing asleep through the entire perform.
ance. "-Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
The Morning Tub.

Briggs-Do you have the courage to
takesa cold bath on these winter morn
jngs?
Griggs-1ndeed l do. But l missed IL
this morning.
Briggs-What was the trouble?
Griggs-There was no hot water
Town Topics
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Method I'm His Madness

Peckem-I say, old man, why in the
world do you wear such disreputable-
looking hat?
Enpeck-Because my wife has en-
Shatieally declared that she will not
be seen on the street with me unless /
get n new one ee?-Cincinnati En-
guirer
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
SATURDAY ...... JANUARY 9. 1901
Necessary There.

Gilman Cooking up from his paper)-
Montreal, p. O." What does that "P
Q" mean, DO you know?
Backlotz (of Swamphurs)- ]
know what it means out our way. It's
o byword with us. nearly every day.
Citiman-What is it?
Baeklotz - Purchase quinine."-
Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Foxy Widow.

Mrs. Bangs-So that pretty widow is
really married SO soon again, Ell?
Old Bangs-Yes.
Mrs. Bangs-But her late husbands
VIII expressly stipulated that if she took
a second husband her legacy was to re-.
vert to his most distant relative
Old Rangs-Thats where she was
foxy. She hunted UP the relative and
married him.-Tit-Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Smart Little Robbie.

Mamma, know the gentleman's
name that called to see Aunt Ellie last
highland nobody told me, either"
We'll, then, what is it, Bobble?"
why, George DON'T / heard her
say George Don't in the parlor four or
five times running That's what his name
isi"-Tit-Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

L must at least gNe you creCit for
not defending the trusts. said t4s Iatri-
otto citizen.
My dear sir" answered Senator
Sorghum. 1.-The trusts do not nceC any
defending. They are abundantly able To
take care of themselves. Was hington
Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Worth Thaf Much.

Pistol Pete-How much to marry us
parson?
Rev. Bill Blood Cooking them over)-
y, reckon so cents will--er-say, do
you want all the frills throwed in
kissin' the bride an all that?
Pistol Pete-Sure.
Rev. Bill Blood-Ten dollars.-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
A Rare Catch.

Friend-You said you didn't love him.
Smart Girl don't.
You respect him, perhaps?"
mot particularly"
And yet you intend to marry him?'.
Il do. He told me that his mother al
ways got her biscuits at the bakers -
N. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
w Use.

Actress-Tm going TO give you back
our engagement ring. l can never mar
~ you; love another.
Actor-Give me his name and address
Actress-Do you want to kill him?
Actor-No; l want to try TO sell him
the ring.-Chicago Journal
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Pessimistic view.

Sentimental Vile reading from q
novel)-And. clasping the beautiful girl
TO his heart, the hero pressed his burn
Ing lips to her snowy brow.
Practical Husband-Yes, and I'll bet
u dollar to a doughnut he'll be down
with pneumonia in the next chapter
Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

Yeast-Did you ever notice that when
the question about obeying is put to
women In the marriage ceremony some
OF them answer louder than others?
Crimsonbeak-Oh, yes, I've noticed 1t
The ones who say Eyes" the loudest are
the ones who know their husbands will
never dare to ask them to obey.-Yon-
kers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

Artistry dear, that new cook win
never do.
Wife-Why not? He used to be chez
OF a fashionable club.
Artist-That may be; but can't you,
see that he's just served spinach In a
blue dish and tomatoes on pink platei
Horrible!-N. Y. Times.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Not Ready to Leave.

Il suppose" he said, angrily, that
you'll go home 10 your mother now"
"Oh, dear. no." she replied. why.
I'd lose all the excitement of quarreling
with you then. Chicago Post.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
FUN
riches In Will poue-

understand that young Spriggins
mas acquired considerable wealth during
the two years OF my absence from town.
Yes; and it's all the result of shee,
will power"
VIII power? You surprise me. ]
never suspected him of having the leas.
particle of 1t in his makeup"
He didn't; 1t was the will power O,
his late lamented uncle."-Tit- Bits.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Carefully Edited.

Subbubs-I want to insert an adver-
sisement: Wanted. plain cook for
/ Clerk-Beg pardon, sir, but they
might resent that; better say Girl
wanted to do plain cooking"
Subbubs-Thta's SO, and, by the way,
tnstead of girl" perhaps we had bet
Ter say y."-Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

The Debutante--Oh. you ought to have
seen my flowers last night! I do be-
lieve I got more flowers at my debut
than grandmamma got at her funeral!
Town Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

Farmer Stunhedge-You'd be a lot
better of IL you had lived decent and
stuck to a steady job.
Next-House Noonan-Well, now. yer
can't tell. might be worryin' about
undigested securities.--Puck
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Strangers Now.

Bdyth-George says he can't under.
stand why accepted him.
Mayme-George isn't like other peo-
pie.
Edyth-Why, what do you mean?
Mayme--Other people can't under
stand why he proposed.-Chicago Daily
News
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Getting Acquainted.

Reiative-l notice that you have at
last got acquainted wNa your next-doo,
nelghoor. who has lived alongside Of
you for the past ten years.
Mrs. D'Avnoo-Yes, we were intro
ouced to each other at the Pyramids Of
EGYPT and found her delightful COM
panlop. We became very intimate
N. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
In the Polite NrnrId

"Lizette." said Mrs. Goodrich to her
maid. Il wish you would run up to nv
room, get the novel on my writing-desk,
cut the pages, take 1t back to Miss Book
hides, present my compliments and
thanks. and tell her the story aroused
my most profound Observation-Disclosures.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
No Kick Coming.

The warbler faced the audience
And thus sang trite and true:
cannot sing the old songs.
AS once I used TO do -
Twas then a gallery goblet
Called out from his high pew:
Amen. old ga. get busy now,
And give US something new"
Cincinnati Enquirer
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
A Partial Sncce..

Did your husband keep away from
the horses this meeting?'
Well" answered young Mrs. Torkins
he kept away from some of them. He
told me that he never managed to gel
near those that won."-Washingto
Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

The One Exception

Husband-To hear you 10 il one
would think l never told the truth In
my life.
WHe-Well, must give you credit fo1
having told the truth once.
Husoand-Indeed, And when was
that, pray?
Wife-When you proposed. Don't
you remember saying you were un-
worthy OF me?-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
The Janitor PHILOSOPHERS.

Lots av grocers avn druggists how
found tn road to success" said the IAN
ltor philosopher, by tellin' women they
looked ten years younger avn praisin'
babies. Chicago Daily News.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
For Instances

Yes. my boy" said the aged adviser:
the thing for you to DO is TO get out and
hustle. There is always plenty of room
at the top, you know"
Plenty of room at the topi But
where? What business shall adopt?'
We'll, for instance, go into the hair
tonic ade."-Judge.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

Jack-Maud Manwantd looks to me as
though she padded pretty literally.
Jim-You bet she does. Why, she
tried to make me believe her father is
worth million, and the old boy is a
clerk on a salary.-N. Y. Times.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
Taught by Experience

Reuben, Jr. with newspapers)-By
cricky! Paw, here's Teller says he'll
guarantee ter teach anybody hypnert-
ism by mail fer one dollari Do you
think l could learn anything if 1 sent
a dollar?
Reuben, Sr.-Sure's shootin'I Yew
send the dollar and I'll guarantee youth
larn lesson tbat'n do yew a heap Nv
good.-Puck.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09
A Straight Tin

One word is quite sufficient
To the wise;
And here's the word omniscient-
Advertise,
Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-01-09

Little Willie-Say, pa, 1t must be awful
TO be poor orphan boy and know that
Santa Claus won't bring you a bicycle, a
sled, cannon, knife, a box of tools, q
watch and lot cf oranges, candy anc
nuts for Chicago Daily
News