davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
AT TIE MINSTREL SHOW.
H@.a&--s-.T-s
A C~onnndrum for the End-NIan That
Brings Up Some Painful
"Reminiscences.

"Mr. Dingleberry," said Mr.. Bing-
whazzle, relates Judge, after the circle
had finished the chorus of my Klon-
dixie is the gold of MolIy'sshair," and.
the applause had subsidized; Mr.. Dim
gleberry, I have; a conundrum to pro-
pound to you. this evening"
"Indeed?.. responded Mr.. Dingleberry.
drumming softly upon his %tambourine,
and winking at the middleman; 4in-
deed? And would you kindly PROFOUND
ito"
T will," said Mr.. Bingwhazzle, plac-
ing his bones in his vest-pocket and
knocking a ieck Of dust from his dia-
mond; Il will. What, sir, is the diff
ference between a man preparing his
poultry for the market at midnight and
a lion after it has eaten its dinner at
noon?"
What is the differeHcesbetween a man
midnight Is the market to be at mid
night?"
mo, no! He is preparing his poul-
try at midnight"
did you say poultry, or poetry?"
"Poultry-poultry, sir!"
Excuse ME. / thought if you said
poetry, the man would be hungry and
the lion wouldn,t."
DO not be frivolous. Mr.. Dingleberry,"
said the i%nterlocutor. "The conundrum.
as propounded by Mr.. Bingwhazzle is
this: What is the difference, between,
a man preparing his poultry at midnight
for the market; and a lion; after it has
eaten it's dinner at noon?'H xIaUsRf s
"Well, sir, that's too easy, ghuclsled.
Mr.. Dingleberry, permitting his left foot
to do, a jig-step while he remained ! Q
his chair. The man WHO is preparing
his poultry is signing on the land, and
the lion that has hadshis5dinner is lying
on the sand" ~ Mr.: 2h6 sS3s&5
mo, sir!" shouted Mr.. Bingwhazzle..
"You have no reason to infer that the
man is unhappy" ,ts 81
"Of course he is unhappy. Who
wouldn't be-"
But that is the wrong answer"
ooh, very well. l can give you an
other. The lion is wagging his tail,
and the mar is tagging his But there
are no walls, are there? Le'me see.
There isn't anything about dessert and
desert in this, is there?"
""Not a thing"
"Then the man had a bird in his hand,
and the lion had two in the bush" ven
tured Mr.. Dingleberry.
"Oh, that is absurd!"
"Well, it's the best l can do this even
ing. I didn't ask you to ask me any
old conundrums, did I? Why Is a conun-
drum like an unsigned letter? Because
you can't answer it. That's better than
your old market-man, anyhow. What's
the answer to yours?"
1T is simple" said Mr.. Bingwhazzle.
"The lion is licking his chops, and the
man is looping his chicks"
Then the interlocutor announced that
Mr.. Raphael Minningham Woodle would
render the favorite classical selection:
when your rabbit-foot's unlucky you
should throw the dice away"
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
HINTS FOR cowKEEpERs.

The COW. as we'll as any other farm
stock, will pay a better profit if treated
kindly.
gives a profitable return for the food
she consumes.
The best cream raising can only be
secured by keeping the milk sweet as
long as possible.
To a very considerable extent the mat
ter of notable performances is wholly
an individual function.
Lossof flesh and shrinkage of milk fol-
lows neglect, and starvation follows RAJ
tons of improper food.
IA combination of bran, oil meal and
corn meal makes one Of the best rations
for dairy cows in winter.
Garget most often sets in after caly-
ing, and this is nearly always due to q
failureto get the udderdry.5
Milk regularly twice a DAY. If a COW
does not give a sufficient amount of milk
to warrant this. let her go dry.
The dairy COW is a milk-making me-
dunn and should be kept in the best
working condition, which is ore of
quiet.
Many Of the cows Kept on the farm
cannot. either by feedo or care, be induced
to yield a%prohtable amount Of milk. The
sooner this class is fattened and mar
keted, the better for the profits Of rne
farm.
The best foods to make blood are tho
best for milk production, and the cow to
make good milk needs good blood. That
can best and cheapest be made by gener-
GUS, comfortable treatment comfortable
quarters, pure air. pure water and whole
some nutritious food.-KimbalI's Dairy
Farmer.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
FAR1 BUTTER MAKING.
Unless Temperature of cream Is prsp-
erly Controlled a Good Article
Cannot BE Made.

The time of the year is now here when
it requires the best skill and convent
ences for making high grade butter. Dur
ing the early spring and late fall the
climate in Illinois is almost perfect for
making butter. The early winter wealth.
err is such that it is difficult to control
the temperature Of the cream and un-
less it is properly controlled a fine and
uniform article cannot be made.
The time is past when it will pay for
the ordinary farmer to make butter I'M
less he has practically all of the conve-
niences found in an ordinary creamery.
Cream should not be held more than two
days, and better butter is made when
churned every day. The important
point during winter is to have the cream
properly ripened before churning, and
the ripening should not take more than
20 to "a hours. No rule can be made as
to the temperature at which cream
should be held, butt can easily be deter
mined by experience. In my dairy room
in ordinary winter weather, if the cream
is warmed to 80 degrees one morning,
it will be all right to churn it the next
morning.
When a separator is used, the cream
should be churned at a lower tempera-
ture thar cream from Cooley or shotgun
cans. Separator cream should be
churned at about SO degrees, or even low
er If the churn and room are very warm.
Better have cream a little too VAIN and
properly ripeDed when ready to churn
than not to have it cured or ripened, be-
cause it is an easy matter to use ice and
cool it properly. 1t is a very difficult
matter to warm half ripened cream
without injuring the grain and flavor Of
the butter. 1t is also very difficult to
warm ripened res (Which is always
sour) if it has fallen much below the
churning point.
Every buttermaker should have q
properly constructed cream vat to have
any uniformity in holding the tempera-
lures. Of curse there are many other
things that are necessary in making fine
butter, but besure and watch the temper
ature of your cream during cold wealth.
er.-Orange Judd Farmer.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

I A GRIPPE is epidemic catarrh. 1t
IL spares no class or nationality. The
cultured and the ignorant, the aristocrat
and the pauper, the masses and the class
es are alike subject to la grippe. None
are exempt-all are liable.
Have you the grip? Or, rather, has
the grip got you? Grip is well named.
The original French term, la grippe,
has been shortened by the busy Ameri-
can to read grip" Without intending
to do so a new word has been coined
that exactly describes the case. AS If
clutched us in it's fatal clasp. Men,
women, and children, whole towns and
cities are caught in the baneful grip OF a
terrible monster.
The following letters speak for them
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
PLAN OF oCTAaoN slLo.

spikes and nails, and the next day be-
gan to erect his silo, and in two more
days the silo was completed ready to
receive the silage corn, remarks a
writer in Hoard's Dairyman.
We see no reason why this silo is
not a perfect silo in every particular,
and as good in every way as one cost
ing several hundreds of dollars, and
which would take weeks to erect. When
a perfect silo can be built as cheaply
and as quickly as was this one, we see
no reason why anybody may not have
silage if he wills. This style of silo is
the octagon shape, or eight-sided, and
ceiled perpendicular with two thick
nesses of inch hemlock boards with felt
paper between. A silo, IL feet in diam
eter and "a feet high, will not cost more
than $25, foundation included. Such a
silo calls for 1000 feet Of good hem
lock boards, 900 feet 2x7's, with felt
and nails. The expense of roof and
foundation will be the same as for any
other style of silo.
A low foundation of stone and &C.
ment is first built, then the stills are
placed on and the corners nailed. Then
he boards are set up at the corners
and plumbed with a level that works
vertically. One man holds the joist on
the outside where it belongs, placed
two feet apart and nailed from the in
side. The joists are spiked together
at the corners as the work progresses,
for the first 12 feet; then the upper sec
ton is continued in the same way. A
number of joists can be sawed with a
crosscut saw, by punching them to-
gether, thus ensuTing even lengths. 1t
will be seen that the joists and boards
at the all have the same slant,
OF angle of IS degrees. This style of
silo saves latching with iron hoops, or
the tedious method of making wooden
hoops for the round silo. Each range
Of octagons forms the hoops, and the
octagon avoids corners, and has every
advantage that the circle has.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
CHEAP A SILo.
Built by a Western Farmer In a Few
Days and without Any Ex-
pert Assistance.

The first cost of a silo usually fright
ems the would-be builder from building,
and the building is therefore postponed
for another year. The writer saw this
silo built by a farmer in a couple of
days with no expert assistance-just
built by the farmer and his ordinary
help. The day before the erection OF
the silo the farmer had not a stick of
material on hand. On the day men
toned, he brought a couple of loads of
logs to a nearby sawmill and had them
sawn into 2x7-inch planks. In the same
afternoon, he went to town and
brought home a couple Of loads of hem
lock boards and a roll of felt and some
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
A Manger for Each Cow.

We much prefer a separate manager for
each COW. We have had opportunity to
observe a number of stables where there
was one continuous manger and have
yet tn see one pf this Kind where each
COW got all that was intended for her
and no more or less. The l~ong-necked
COW reaches over and helps herself at
the expense Of her neighbor, and when
hers is gone calmly eats her own. 1t
minds us Of the time years ago we saw
a herd of elephants feeding on hay at
Barnum's in Madison Square garden,
New York. Not a single elephant save
the one on the end was eating from his
ownfpile, but all feeding at the expense
OF their right-hand neighbor.-H. G..
Manchester In Rural New Yorker.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
HIS sELF-DENIAL.
He Gave Up All Claim ON the We'd
ding Presents There
Wcrc Too Many.

The honeymoon was over and they
had settled down to show themselves
staid and steady old married people,
relates the New York Times.
Fred" she said, knitting her pref
ty breWs As if greatly p%erplexed 1--WE
been trying to arrange things a little
Systematically to-day"
"Quite right" he said. Its time we
were settled and had everything ar
ranged properly"
eyes, but, Fred, the fact is-I-I-"
"You what? Nothing has gone
wrong, has it?" he asked, %anxiously.
ooh, no, but everyone was SO kind to
us that l find it a little hard Toto.
1t wouldn't be proper to sell any of the
presents, would it?"
Certainly not"
That's what 1 feared" she said, with
a sigh. you see, l don't know just
what to do with them ALL"
DO with them?" he exclaimed, with
masculine readiness to settle any prob
lem. why, use them, of course"
But how, Fred? How?' she asked.
we have seven clocks and only a six
room fiat"
He gave a low whistle.
Then we have six dozen silver
spoons and five cake baskets"
He began to look perplexed himself.
There are Is butter knives and eight
fruit dishes" she added.
He swore to himself, but made no sug-
g~estion.
"We have three sets Of fruit knives
and"
Enough" he exclaimed. DO what
you please with them"
"But, Fred, I want you to-"
They're yours" he interrupted.
.HThey were all given to you, and not
to me, weren't they? 1t wouldn't be
fair for me to assume any right to them
when they were expressly given to YOU
And thus she first learned of mans
ability to dodge a difficult problem.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
FEED RACK FOR cows.
Its Designer Asserts That I'm Muddy
Weather 1t Will Save Its Cost
in a Single Week.

/ have found the best feed racks for
cattle to be boxes 16 feet long, three
feet wide at the bottom and three feet
eight inches at the top, as shown in the
cut. I make the box of 1x6-inch stuff
spaced two inches apart. The sides are
nailed to 2x4-inch stuff, one piece at
the ends, and two for the middle. At
the top and bottom Of the two middle
pieces on each side 1 nail a 1x6-inch
crosspiece to keep the sides from
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

plant, but without deriving permanent
relief. Often when alone in the house
the backache has been so bad that it
brought tears to my eyes. The pain
attines was SO intense that I was COM
PEELED to give up my household duties,
and lie down. There were headaches,
dizziness and blood rushing to my head
to ans bleeding at the nose. The
first box of Doan's Kidney Pills bene-
flied me SO much that I continued the
treatment. The singing pain in the
small Of my back, the ruslles of blood
to the head, and other symptoms dis
appeared
Doanss Kidney Pills for sale by all
dealers. 30 cents per box. Foster
Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
In Cosmopolitan London.

A New YORKER who is now in London
writes to a friend saving that one of his
greatest pleasures there is the number
Of people who speak English. AT home
his grocer comes from Holland, his
butcher is a native Of Brazil, his chem
list is an Alsatian, his chef is a Ger
nan, his valet was born in Toxic, his
servants are Irish and Swedish, his
coachman is a Cuban, his barber comes
from Trieste and his fruIterer from
southern Italy. A few months ago when
he had to call In q doctor suddenly to
attend to n of his servants d Persian
answered ahe summons. He is clothe.i
by q cockney, has a Canadian fora busi-
ness partner and expects to be buried
by a Scotchman.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

selves as to the efficacy Of Peruna in
cases Of la grippe or its after effects.
After Effects of La Grippe E~radicated
by Pe-ru-na.
Mrs. Fred Weinberger, Westerlo, AL
bany County, N. Y, writes:
Several years ago l had an attack OF
la grippe which left my nerves in a
Frustrated condition. Then / had an
other attack Of la grippe which left me
worse. / had tried three good physi-
clans but all in vain. | gave Peruna a
trial. In a short time I was feeling bet
ter and now I am as we'll as anyone
Mrs. Fred Weinberger.
Hon. James r. Guilt of Omaha.
Hon. James r. GULL is one of the
oldest and most esteemed men OF Omaha,
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
CAUGHT BIZ
RELEASED BY PE-RU-NA.

%EENgars
Neb. He has lone much to make it what
1t Is, serving on public boards q number
Of times. He endorses Peruna in the
following words:
IT am 6Syears old, am hale andhearty.
and Peruna has helped me attain IL
Two years ago ! had la grippe-my life
was despaired of. Peruna saved me-
J. r. GULL.
A Relative Of abraham lincoia.
Mr.. silas S. Lincoln, who resides az
913 I. Street, IN. w, Washington, d. c.,
has the honor of being third cousin to-
Abraham Lincoln. He writes:
' 81 had la grippe i've times before
using your medicine. -Four years ago.
began the use of Peruna, since which
time I have not been troubled with THAI
disease. | can now do as much work al.
my desk as ever could in my life. !
have gained more than ten pounds In
weights. s. Lincoln.
Pe-ru-aa Not Only Cured La Grippe bus
Benefited the Whole System.
Miss Alice M. Dressler, 1919 N. Bryant
Ave, Minneapolis, Mimi, writes
Last spring / suffered from la grippe
and was partially cured, but the bad
after effects remained through the sum
mer and somehow / did not get strong Az
I was before. One of my college friends
who was visiting me asked me to try Pc
runa and I did SO and found 1t all anA
more than / had expected. 1t not only
cured me OF the catarrh but restored me
to perfect health, built up the entire sys-
tenn and brought happy feeling OF buoy
sancy which I had not known for years.
Alice M. Dressler.
An Actress Testimonial.
Miss Jean Cowgirl, Griswold Opera.
House, Troy, N. Y, is the leading lady
With the Aubrey Stock Co. She writes.
the following:
During the past winter of 1901, r
suffered for several weeks from a sewers.
attack of grippe, which left q serious,
catarrhal condition of the throat and
head.
"Some II suggested Peruna. As q
last resort, after wasting much time
and money on physicians, I tried the
remedy faithfully, and in a few weeks
was as well as eyer.'--Jean Cowgirl.
A Southern Judge Cured.
Judge Horatio ]. Goss, Hartwell, Ga.s.
writes:
Some five or six years ago | had O.
very severe spell of grippe, which Iefs.
me with systemic catarrh. A friend adj
vised me to try your Peruna which I
did, and was Immediately benefited and
cured. The third bottle completed the
cure.,'-H. J. Goss.
Ifyou do not derive prompt and salts
factory results from the use of PeTuna,,
write at once to DR.. Hartman, giving a
full statement of your case and he Will
be pleased to give you his valuable adj
vice gratis.
Address DR.. Hartman, President OF
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, O.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

"The Inside Inn" is the name of the only
hotel in the Worlds Fair Grounds-Amer-
lean and European plan at reasonable
rates. See advertisement in another column
and write for folder to Inside Inn Adj
ministration Bldg, Room ITO, st. Louis, Mo.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
In Emmons CO., Dakota.

we can sell you 100 acres fine land. You
can break 100 acres this spring, sow it to
Salzer's Flax and reap enough to pay for
your land, etc., having a line farm free the
first year. 10 such pieces for sale.
JOHN A. SALZER SEED CO.,
liz. III La Crosse, Wis.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

The Brute--""What are you thinking of,
Mamie?" Mamie-'I am dreaming of my
youth" The Brute-"I thought you had
a PARKWAY look in your eyes."-Princeton
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

Carrie-'tDo you think a woman is justi-
fed in marrying a man she doesn't know"
Aunt ane-She certainly wouldn't be
justified in marrying a man she did know
Boston Transcript.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

Dyeing is as easy as washing when Put.
nam Fadeless Dyes are used.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

Let idle declaimers mourn over the de-
generacy of the age, but my opinion is
that every age is the same.-Goldsmith.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12

The foes we most fear fade when we
face them.-Ram's Horn.
The Aberdeen Democrat. (Aberdeen, South Dakota) 1???-1909, 1904-02-12
A WoMAN,s MISERY.
Mrs. John La Rue, of 115 Paterso,

Ave-, Pater-
son, N. j.,
says: II was
troubled for
a bout min e
ear s and
w h a t I suf-
fered no one
w 9
know. I used
a o u every
known RENE
dy that is said
tn he good for
lsidnau com.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-05-19
KENTUCKY OAKS
WON BY AUDIENCE
Captain Browns Filly Captured
the Race After a Ter
rife Drive,
rife Drive.
(pv Aysociated Press J

LOUISVILLE, KY. May ls.-,AudIenee
a Ally owned BY Captain s. s. Brown, the
Pittsburg coal king, won the Kentucky
Oaks this afternoon In a terrific drive
from Outcome. tho fayorlle, which lasted
throughout the home stretch. Audience
was strong second choice at to :
and was heavily played It was q grand
race. the six FLIES racing as a team until
they left the back stretch, when Audi
ence, with Helgesen up. began 10 move
up. Booker, on outcome, also began his
ride about the same time. and Il was a
pretty struggle from the head OF the
stretch TO the wire between these TWO.
First race-haf mile--Herlida 10 TO -
first, Josie Il to q second. Harlequin
e to u third. Time, :5l
Second n ce-hre furlongs-Ponca a 20
u first. j, Sidney Walker a to d second,
Corey 40 to u third. Time, l:c3 81.
Third rnce-half mile-Pendragon @ TO
81 first, Scotch Irish e to u second
Woodcalm doIto y third. Time, ;bo L..
Fourth race--the Kentucky Oaks. mile
and a observation-disclosures % TO D frst,
Outcome q 10 81 second, White Plume
q TO u third. Time. l:al,
Fifth race-six MISUNDERSTANDING 90 10
y hrst, Quiz II e to 81 second. Miriam
". Is to u third. Time. LIS.
sixth race-mie and nifty yards-Ross-
mond q to 81 nrst, Horton g to 3, se sis
ond, Chey boygan "a to y third. Time, lag.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-05-19
THREE FAvoR1TEs WIN.
Winners Were Hard to Pick a
Morris Park Yesterday.
(By Associated PressD

(By Associated Press)
NEW YORK, May 1s.-Tha races a..
Morris Park to-day We're made up o.
over night events, and the winners 3, y.ns
however, was able to break even, as three
tA First racemEcllpse course-Rcb Roy q
to j arst, Major Am .{Ssyen) second of's'
kany 70 to u third. Time, ~. .
Second race-selling, last four ana q
hsf iuroass q ! !hs rsl As Vfse 9s e to
second, Anthony % to y third Time
52. ,.,.,. =,
Eclipse co,lrse--Gray Lad 90 to nrsH
Pastel j. q 10 y second. Nevada 10 20 -
Fourth race-selllng, the Withers nile
Akea. e to q first, Fort Plaln go no 20 =
second, stonewall u5 TO y thlrq. Tine
1912. .t 49,, r,i,..
II lillian n Ia Is first, Tom Cogan q to y
second. Dick Roberts GO to y th'fu'
sixth race--last seven and 9 ha,5 =, fuE :,
longs OF the Withers nlile--Phaoh ~ ,e =
first, Gold Dome q to ! )second' Hi1nseii
e to j third. Time l:3o
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1904-05-19
AERIEL WARFARE.
Probable That Japanese Will Use
Balloons at Port Arthur to
Drop Shells OH Fortress.
lRv Assoclated Press.l

ST, PETERSBURG, May $3.50 p. NJ
The admiralty rsL<ved ip-day an official
dispatch fron...Re-r- Admiral Witsoeft,
believed to have been dated from Port
Arthur May llth. reporting that there
has been no fighting afloat since The tele-
graph line was cut, the Japanese ships
not having attacked,
Everything was well with tho Russian
squadron. The dispatch was gratifying
to the authorities not only for the news
1t contained, but because It's receipt es-
1ablshed the fact that while the tele-
graph line is severed, a system of conf
munication by means OF Chinese runners
has been salts factoriy lnausurated.
One of tine reasons for theS desperate
effort OF the Russians to get to Port Ar
thur what is officially called an 'ammuni-
ton train" has been revealed by infor-
NATION which leaked out to-day There
was little need. It appears, for more
ammunition great quantities being stored
in the fort, but General Stoessel was ex-
ceedingly anxious 10 be provided with
balloons. Before the war Russian au-
thnr!ties loaded on vessel complete
balloon equipment for Manchurla, but It
was captured by the Japanese. who will
use II perhaps in their operations against
Port Arthur,
IF the japanese Try to drift balloons
over I'or, Arthur, and drop explosives on
the fortress said an officer to-day "the
world will hear OF the first battle in the
nIpu