The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1904-04-24
Note Book Nonsense,
(By S. l.. POTTERY

| of .sologies' in that city which appears to
be ahead in this respect at least, notWith-
standing its current reputation. The sign
he saw read like this: Professor OF
Stitchology" The Raleigh visitor inferred
that the Professor was Il tailor. Here
was in very truth "Sartor RsSartus,' the
tailor re-clothed Carlyle himself wouldn't
have recognized him in that garb. Stitch
| ology Great Heavens above! We've all
heard of tonsorla artists, sarto1al artists,
saltatorial artists, professors of cuisinerle,
builders of suits and gowns, but ''stitchol-
ogy"-never! We have always looked to
Boston for new lsms. Can it be that
IN future we are to look to slow old
Philadelphia for the latest in ''ologies'?
Here's a true story about what a wee
little Raleigh girl, the daughter OF a very
wellknown citizen, said the other day. 1t
was told by a gentleman whose absolute
veracty cannot be doubted, and it is en-
tirely too good to be kept from the pub
lie. Here it is: The wee girl had sat still
for long time. 1t was several days be-
| fore last Christmas, and she had just
discovered the real truth about Santa
! Claus. So she was sitting still, but final
| ly she broke the silence. and it was with
great emphasis that she said: We'll
now I'Ye found out all about Sanity Claus
and l s'pose when l get little older III
find out all about God, cause l never
did see any sense in it, anyhow
The Wilmington Star says that discus
sion is gong the rounds as to what AZ,
parel man should leave off when he
goes to bed. This only shows how folks
are put to it sometimes to find topic
for discussion. That brings to mind
story Raleigh man told the other day.
1t was about two young machinists.
They had disliked each other for some
time, and their friends had felt that u
| fight was imminent Finally one day, at
ter a good many words had passed be
tween them as usual, Smith, I'll call him,
went up to Jones and shaking his fist iii
his face said: Now you've got to whip
me Or I've got to whip you. We've just
got to see which is the better man OF
us "All right" said Jones. "but what
are we going to fight about? I'm per
| fectly willing to fight, but I've got TO
know what I'm fighting about"
well, you told Brown the other da,
that l said you were scab." "All right;
is that what we are going to fight about?'
well, I've heard that you said / was a
scab.' rs that what we are going to
fight about? l just want to know l
want to fight as bad as you do, but l want
to know what the fight is going to be
about"
Well Brown told me you said / was a
d-n fool rs that what we are going
to fight about?' And so it went until
! finally they just got to fighting anyhow.
If iscussion is coming, there's no use
to find a subject. Just discuss anyhow.
| A gentleman in this city has taken me
TO task quite severely in the following
letter anent the broken remarks in last
Sundays paper under this caption:
| Dear Friend Rotter: The article you
! printed In Sunday News and Observer
| was interesting in the extreme, espe-
cially the poetry you printed and your
comment on the same. But / was amazed
| that the Devil could trip you as he evil
| IDENTIFY has, as you seem to think that
the newspaper men have monopoly of
the good things yet to come.
The line you quote is only one of the
Devils deceptive schemes to lead unsus-
trap you are caught in. Do not take
so much JUNCTION unto your poor soul The
pecting newspaper men into the same
Devil said he didn't have many news.
| paper men, but, as you see, he has some
Now let's see what's the cause OF this
/ shortage in His Satanic Kingdom OF
newspaper men: In the first place the
newspaper men are a comparatively
modern product, hence not so many have
accumulated around his own Preside as
have the other professions named. In
l
not. and can not be so classed as you
| ciassed him in your article, an immune
he'll have to stand on an equal footing
with the others, as there is no bottom to
the pit In the third pace-if the flu
ture is what we all believe il to be-on
| Judgment day there will be no press gal
lery for the newspaper fellows but those
DIES CRYING will enter with the righteous,
while the wicked-newspaper man or
| not-Will share his portion with his Sa.
| tanic Majesty. The Dewitt the poetry is
true you quotes right in his position,
according to my way of thinking, in dis
posing of the last class mentioned, and
would not trust him even in dealing with
| them. So please don't bank on anything
he says for that line you quote with
such evident relish, is only deusloa
and snare. and intended onlv TO try to
| cover the shortage mentioned in your
profession. 1t reads all right, but my
advice Is to pay as much attention to It
as you would the promise o. politician
the day before election
Now my learned and astute friend
gives me some very excellent advice, but
| L am compelled to take issue with him as
to the modernity of newspapers Why,
ancient Rome had It's newspaper, the
| Acta Diurna, the Dan Doings. 1T APP
peared daily, posted up in some public
place, the market place for instance,
where all might stand and read, just a 8
now the crowds gather about the bulletin
board of a great daily in a big city. The
Daily Doings contained a list of the
birth and deaths each day in old Rome,
an account OF mone-- paid into the treas
ury, everything relating to the supply
of corn, the edcts of magistrates. the
wills of distinguished mon, reports OF
trials. names of those acquitted and con-
demned, list of magistrates elected, an
account of public affairs and foreign
wars. festivals and movements Of the i'm
peral family, news relating to public
buildings, funerals, games, fires, sacri-
fees and lastly this is astonishing) love
stories. Especially n estsnfac1.i L-osatals
stories. Special officers under the direc.
tion of the government officials. issued
the Daily Doings assisted by clerks and
| notaries.
| Did not Solomon say that there was
nothing new under the sun?
| No not even my discerning friend of
| the letter can pluck this fresh laure;
| from the brow of the poor newspaper
| man.
Why was not Moses the first reporter?
| Did he not faithfully report the doings of
| the chosen ones in the Pentateuch?