The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1904-04-28

BREAKFAST FOOD
Jones Forces Captured.
CTelepathic Message)


Splice, Utah, April 2T.-Again has
Sheriff Billsox displayed the utmost
heroism and proved himself to be
master of higher military strategy.
Yesterday Sheriff BiIlsox and his gal
liant men overcame and captured the
entire Jones fighting force and saved
countless lives in Splice. 1t was early
in the forenoon when Sheriff BillsoX' s
pickets fell back on the reserves at
the edge of the encampment with the
report that the enemy were advancing
In force. Sheriff Billsox at once re-
paired to his cave after issuing orders
for reconnaissance. The scouting
party returned and reported that sew
eral divisions were advancing. The
attacking force consisted Of Mother
Jones, Mrs. Jones, AgitatOr Jones, Old
Lady Jones, Organizer Jones, Quaran-
tined Jones and the Jones woman or
West Virginia. After the scouting
party had reported to Sheriff BillsoX he
Immediately ordered a s0rtie. The COM
pany's forces formed in echelOn and
advanced. Detective Shores command
ed the right wing, Attorney Whifett
the left and Judge Pyre the center. The
Jones forces, still maintaining their for
nation. swung southwark through the
sagebrush in an effort TO flank the sher-
iff's force and capture the implement
house where the prisoners are confined.
The sheriffS force anticipated TINS
move and massed against the county
Jail, pouring a pitiless fire OF language
into the invaders The fire was direct
ed chiefly against the enemy's center,
which soon became weakened. Detec-
tive Shores. from his position inside the
Jail ordered a charge. The patriotic
employees of the company dashed for
ward with a loud battle shout Taken
by surprise the Jones forces wayered
for a moment and then fell back i'm
confusion TO Main street. where a stand
was made. Attorney Whiffett, with his
artillery, took a position west of the
court house and by a well-directed en-
filading fire of meaningless legal
phrases greatly distressed the already
shattered ranks of JOneses- The Jones
forces managed to hold the position but
a short time before being obliged to fall
back again making the last stand at
the back door of the boarding house
Here it became apparent that the in
vaders suffered from famine, as evil
denced by "A request for something &c
eat and drink of water. While the
Jones forces had their face buried in
a sandwich, which temporarily OBJ
secured vision, the full strength of the
company fell on them with the greatest
impetuosity. The Jones forces at once
nolsteu the Nnlle nag anu SUI SiIuSl 81
Internationally. They are now i'm the
womans cell at the JAIL. and will be
convicted of criminal libel as soon as
the judge gets the complaint framed
up.
This marks the end of armed resist
ance 10 the high-minded company and
all is well. Sheriff Billsox is vel
pleased with the glorious victory and
expects the company Will Immediately
replace the shoes he wore out in trav-
cling to and from his cave.
1t develops that Killsom has been
writing to the papers again and he will
therefore, be shot at sunrise.
\ wonderful stream is the river Kaw,
That flows by the town of X. c.,
For one day the water is UP to your
jaw,