The Minneapolis journal. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn.) 1888-1939, 1904-11-02
WRITERS
OFF ON FOOTBALL
ANNUAL OUTPUT OF IMPOSSIBLE
STORIES NOW APPEARING.
Jimmy Irsfeld Shows Where Many of
Them Are Sadly Defective in Detail
and Where All Of Them Are Based on
a Woeful Ignorance Of the Great
, Gridiron Game.

At the signal, the huge backs upset
their opponents in the line like so many
tenpins.
AS his fullback snapped the ball, Teddy,
the substitute quarterback, saw that it
was now or never.
There was streak of daylight between
guard and center, and he leaped for It,
Somehow, he came away clear and saw
before him the long green field, clear ex-
cept for the white lines
Behind him came the fierce pounding
Of heavy feet He thought Of his past
life; Of how he had been chased by old
Brindle; of how he had practiced drop
kicking over the dear old barn.
Out Of the heel of his eye he saw q
bit of vivid blue in the grandstand. It
| was Agnes. So he sped on.
Suddenly the goal doomed before him.
He thought of the old barn and kicked.
| Then came oblivion. Twenty-one big play
ers the referee, the umpire, two water
| boys and the score board heaped them
selves upon him.
He awoke to the deafening ''Rah! Rah!
Rah!'' Of the joy-crazed rooters. The
game was won. .rs ,.g~.as.-es. sa.l,. &. IL.
Something white was protruding thru
Toddys torn shinpad. He reached for it
in a dazed sort of way and found that 1t
was a broken bone. Then he strobe proud
ly from the field.
There are a lot Of things the matter
with this excerpt from football story.
It is only slightly exaggerated as COM
pared with some recent bits Of similar
| fiction in standard magazines. Of
course, the backs aren't usually in the
line, the quarterback doesn' It run
straight ahead thru the line, bo tn teams
making the star play doesn't always
review his past life.
These thrilling stories are just about
all alike-impossible and grotesque to
a man who knows the rudiments of the
As Irsfeld played left half on last
years championship Minnesota team,
and was chosen as all.western halfback,
he speaks as one having authority.
"Not only, do the stories drive the
players into laughter, or contempt fo 81;
said sal Jimmy, "but they fail to impress
anyone who has ever witnessed game
, or read the rules. In fact, the stories
give one a sinking feeling that it takes
a week in the open air to get over
They are all the same, the, game rests
. that would be absurd, if the author was
not evidently in earnest. This partiCu
lar player seems to bear the entire re-
sponsibility Of the game; he, sees gleam
ing white lines stretching in front OF
y
bit of blue ribbon in the grandstand
and runs for a. touchdown, saving the
game What is worse, he is always
some third sub, who is called in at the
: last moment and who has not been al
} lowed to show his football qualities al
:, thru the season. The whole idea il
= mushy. Any player who has played thru
the season plays the game and watches
the ball; he doesn " 2analyze his menta
processes; if he stopped long enough TO
l. that he would be dead one.
3 ~ recall all sorts, of ways in storie
{ whereby the game has been saved il
J. some miraculous manner. They all shoV
i an utter ignorance of the game and tn
l, rules. There are stories Of the her
e who runs the length of the field with
II broken leg or colarbone,. or somethin
a described. His head always burns in.
a. absurd also, as q player keeps his hea
4 and thinks football or the coaches OF
N der him out of the game.'
Re AS Jimmy once ran the length Of tn
N field with a broken collarbone, an
W played the game out, his analysis 0
O. thought processes would seem to ssho'
n authority. =:
W NThe way to make these stories rim
ID true,' continued the big half, els
q. give true story of the game and nc
IN center it all on one man: Of cours'
s. for the stories sake it is all right t
have something else bear on the gam
le or the game bear on something els
Il" but make the details of the play bea
IL some semblance to facts, give som'
body else on the team chance, an
don't violate the rules to such an e;
absurd to anyone having the slightes
co hit of football knowledpe -