davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

If man is broke woman sell.
dom wastes her time twisting him
around her finger.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

Valued at Seven Million.
The estate of the late United
States Senator, Marcus A. Hanna
is valued at seven million dollars.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

No life is a failure which is lived
for God, and all lives are failures
which are lived for any other end.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

The postoftice department has
granted allowance to the Faimout
office for the employment of a
translator, who will undertake to
deliver properly all foreign mail
that comes TO the city. The great.
sr part of the population of Fair.
mont is made up of Italians and
Hungarians, Swedes and Poles.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

London consumes $4,000 worth
of extra gas every foggy day.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

Spring sign begin to show. A
group of boys playing marbles
have already been sighted.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

Some men never appreciate home
until they are miles from it.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

Every man is introduced to LOT
of people he don't care to know,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02
Every gossipper exists because
there are plenty of listners

Who leans back is as little up
right as who leans forward.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

New York CITY will build five
big fast ferry boats for Staten
Island at a cost of $4,000 each,
and it is expected they will make
the trip of over five miles in less
than 20 minutes.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

Who least applies the sermon to
self usually most needs it.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

There are number of two.faoed
men and women outside of freak
museums
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

Mr.. VIM, s. Crane, of California,
Md, suffered for years from rheuma-
tism and lumbago. q wa finally ad.
vised to try Chamberlain's Pain Balm
which he did and it effected a com.
plete cure. For sale by Hooff.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02
BALTIMORE s. OHIO r. R.
(OHIO RIVER DIYISION.)

Time Table in effect May II, 1903.
EAST BOUND.
':Io a. m. New York Express.
Daiiy. For Parkersburg, Wheelin.
Pittsburg, Baltimore, washin
ton, philadelphia, New York an
al points North and East. RuD
solid 10 Pittsburg. Parlor Car.
ESQ p. m Ohio Valley Express.
S Saliy FIX Eor Patkersburg, Wheelin.
SUNDAY IIttsburg, Buffalo, BaltfmOT
washington, New York aud &
points North and East. RuI
solIc 10 Pittsburg. Parlor Car.
$500 p. IN. Accommodates
Daily Elk. For ParkersbnrO. ss;.,ars,,,i,
'uh"3y ana intermediate point.
WEST BoUSD.
~ w a. m AccOmm odatIon.
Daiiy FIX For Kenova and interme-';a.
sunday. points.
~ p m Ohio Valley Express
Ta.ly TX For Huntington, KenoVa Jro.
SuhHay. ION, Portsmouth, Cincinnati az
al points South and we6
Parlor Ctst
6:25 p. m. Kenova Rxpres-.
OAiV Eor Renova and intermedia
W. G. JORDAN. Agent.
D. B. MARTIN, NJ p. T.. Baltimore, Nd.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

0A9TSRIA.
g =; = M :. z 3 = =. :.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

1t is usually the silly man
who succeeds in doping the wise
man.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02
PHOENIX HOTEL.
Just ask any OF II
they will tell you IL ,e
place 10 get the Best Wins
kies is ar Homer Smiths.

Drop In when In town and look over
our stock a nd sample our goods. Be
low we qIote you prices in some OF
our many brands.
7 One of our specialties Royal Rye
one case of four quarts, d ice &. 90.
Other brands. prices as follows:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1904-03-02

Rogers Old Stock, per qt-, 81 25
Mount Vernon Rye GO Yrs old, 2 90
Old Barbee, per qt-,-......... 25
Old Smoke House, per qt........ 90
iilded Age. per OF, l 90
Golden Wedding, per OF, ! 90
Cognac Brandy. Cline, per qt,.. ] so
GuckenheimerP Pure Rye, per OF, / 25
Jas. E. Pepper, Sour Mash, per OF ! 25
Montereal Malt Rye, per qt.,.... 70
Maj. PauTs, per qt.,......... rs
Strawberry Wine, (Fine,) per OF rs
st. Julien, per qt.,............... 60
Port Wine, CBest,) per qt.,... 70
Port Wine, per qt.,-....-... 60
Sherry Wine, per qt.,....... go
Catawba Wine, per qt., IS
NUNS Extra Dry CChampagne,) 4 90
THE POINT PLEASANT u0u0R HOUSE,
Point Pleasant. West virginia
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17
WORTH THEIR
WEIGHT In GOLD

When a father says that his daugh-
ter is worth her weight in gold" he
is generally supposed to be using
figure of speech, though no father
worth speaking about would sell his
child for many times her weight in
gold.
There have been fathers, however,
who proved that they considered their
daughters worth their weight in sill
yer by giving them a dowry of those
proportions when they We're married.
Herr Duchatscheck, a wealthy citizen
of Dusseldorf, Germany, did this the
other day, when his only daughter
took to herself husband.
At the wedding. when the presents
were all displayed, it was noticed with
surprise that the father of the bride
had given nothing But just before
the marriage ceremony was per-
formed the company was treated to
a surprise.
Two men brought a pair of scales
into the parlor and the bride was COM
manded by her father to step upon
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17
THE STRONGEST FLYER
A Traveller Says That He Gives the
Palm to the FTigate Bird

During the many long ocean voy-
ages that 1 have made in the sub
tropical and tropical seas 1 have had
the chance to watch almost all the IA
nous varieties of sea birds of the
world said a traveller last week 81
have watched the albatross wheel and
swing for hours over a ship, and
have seen the fiocks of stormy petrels,
or Mother Carey's chickens, in the
wake of the vessel. But of all flyers,
none can compare with the beautiful
frigate bird.
THE frigate bird is not one about
which much is known. It's habits pre-
vent it. 1t seems to be almost con-
tinually on the wing, and it does not
soar like the other birds, but seems to
be flying fast at all times. Conse-
quently it is hard even to observe it
closely enough to describe it. But it
is certainly one of the most beautiful
and shapely things in the whole world,
as it darts by the ship with its long,
graceful rudder of a tail and it's
sharply cut wings.
IF frigate birds ever rest, I'd like
to know where they do it. I've heard
of them perching on ships, but l never
saw one settle anywhere, nor did any
of the sailors on the ships on which
sailed remember that they ever saw
one sit still.
1T certainly does not sit on the sea.
Yet it seems incredible that the bird
should fly without rest for a thousand
and more miles, at which distance
from the nearest land 1 have seen
them.
"Once in a voyage southwest
through the Caribbean Sea we saw
frigate bird that had a curious mark
ing under the left wing. This enabled
us to identify it, and we kept close
watch of it.
THE ship was forging along at top
speed, for we were in a hurry to reach
a South American port in order to
get first choice of some cargo that
way lying there. Therefore, an aver
age speed of twelve knots an hour
was squeezed out of the engines, day
and night. For three days we watch
ed that frigate bird flying around the
ship. All the time it was in full flight,
while the gulls and other birds that
also followed the vessel would set
tie at intervals on the water, and thus
get their rest.
The frigate bird. on the contrary,
would come shooting up from astern,
and fly back again. thus encircling the
ship from two to a dozen times, and
then suddenly fly straight ahead till
it was out of sight. Within a short
while it would come speeding back
again. This it kept up all the time.
Even at night it would suddenly loom
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

rocks. In fact, the whole place look
ed now as you stand on Goat Island
and look w at them.
To get caught in these rapids was
sure death and the girl knew it: but
she was so sad and sorrowful that
she did not care what became of her.
Her only desire was to get away from
home. So she launched the canoe,
jumped in and the swift waters began
TO hurry her toward the rapids.
Now the great Indian Thunder-god
Hinun, he who brought the clouds
and rain and controlled the lightning,
had a summer cottage, constructed out
OF a cave, at the junction of the lake
and river. where he used to spend
hts leisure time fishing, and it was
his canoe which the maiden had
launched forth upon the turbulent wa
tiers of Niagara rivers Sitting in the
mouth of the cave, getting his fishing
tackle ready for the next day and
thinking where he could get the best
groundworms for bait, the thunder
god looked up and saw the girl sail
ing away in his best canoe.
At first he was angry, but when he
saw how beautiful the girl was and
that she was drifting to certain death
he was sorry for her, and called to
her to come back. Then he saw that
she had left the paddle on the bank
and was helpless.
Spreading his wings, for Hmm had
wings and could fly much better than
Mr.. Santos Dumont he flew to the
rescue and caught the maiden just
as the canoe was being dashed against
the horrid rocks of the rapids. He
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

He told her that the big snake had
followed the village, dragging himself
along under ground, and was now
poisoning the water of the creek from
which the people drank. But he
added that he would attend to the
monster, and the next night, when the
snake came out of the ground and
went down to poison the creek, Hmm
was watching and hurled a thunder
bolt at him.
At the first thunderbolt the snake
only laughed; but Hmm hit him
again, and then a third time, and fin
ally a fourth, and then let fly a thun-
der-bolt of unusual size and exceed
ingly high voltage at him. so that the
gigantic snake gave up the fight and
died.
At daybreak the Indians came, re-
joicing at the death of their enemy,
and laid the body of the snake out
straight, finding that it stretched for
twenty arrow-fiights.
Then, with songs of triumph, they
rolled the body into the river. and Ii
floated down the swift stream until it
came to the rocks and the rapids.
There it stuck and there it sticks to
this day, with the waters roaring over
it, wedged in between the rocks and
forming what the pale face calls Nj
agara Falls.
AS to the maiden. the Iroquois his
tory does not say what became of her,
but it ais evident enough that after all
the benefits she had conferred upon
her people. she was married to a
brave young chief Of a neighboring
tribe and lived happy ever after.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

of tints in stock and give every Gus
toner his choice. We aim to please. +"
! How do you get your paint down
from the star-factories? asked Lucy.
who had a great talent for asking
questions, as her parents had discov-
cred with mingled regret and pain.
1--WE send ships there every day.
said the Man Who Paints the Grass
Green. Our paint ship fleets are busy
all the time. If you will look at the
western sky at sunset you will see
our ships, pink and golden and green
and violet and crimson, all sailing
along full of paint"
Il always thought those were
Clouds" said Lucy superciliously.
Il can't help what you thought"
said the old man, suddenly becoming
petulant. II can tell you what you
are thinking now"
'What?" inquired Lucy.
You are thinking now" said the
Man Who Paints the Grass Green,
that you will stay here talking to
me. But you are wrong. Yonder
comes the Man Who Makes the
Icicles. He is going to invite you to
go with him. and 1 advise you to go.
He gets very angry when any one re-
fuses his polite invitations. He bites. +"
At this moment Lucy's teeth began
to chatter, and she felt a cold wave
waving down her back. She turned
and, approaching rapidly. she saw the
unique and frigid individual whom you
shall meet next Sunday.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

How World

for very large trade, and it would
never do to get a bad reputation.
Why, do you know, ever since l have
been painting the grass we have never
had single yard returned by a Gus
toner. How is that for a record?"
That is very fine" said Lucy.
But why do you use paint that fades
every year? Your grass is brown
get browns every autumn"
"Aha!" said the old man, turning
his head UP and winking a long, labo-
rious wink. AHA! That is one of the
tricks of the trade. How do you sup
pose l could make a living if 1 paint
ed the grass so that it would stay
green? No. indeed Besides, it
wouldn't do People are so careless
and rough. They tramp on the fresh
ly painted grass and sit on it and play
baseball and tennis all over it. The
best material in the world can't stand
such usage for more than a season.
No. Fresh goods every year is our
motto"
do you give your grass all the
same color?" asked Lucy.
why, no." said the old man. "In
Kentucky they like it very blue and
in Newport they like it very green, and
so on. We keep a large assortment
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17
THE SNAKE THAT
MADE NIAGARA FAILS
An Iroquois Indian Legend of the
Big Waters.

Learned men called biologists have
written many pages 10 tell how Mag
ara Falls came to be; but the Iroquois
Indians have their own version of the
formation of the great cataract, and
this is the story they tell:
Once upon a time, a long while ago,
there lived in Western New York
beautiful Indian maiden whose parents
wanted her to marry hideous old
chief because he was rich.
The beautiful maiden said that While
abe had always made it rule to obey
her parents in all things, AS a duuful
daughter should, in this case she must
politely but firmly decline unless they
really insisted upon 1t. They SAID
they did insist and that she would
please get ready for the wedding at
once.
The maiden went out walking in
the woods to think it over, and
the first she knew she had walked TO
the Niagara river, just below where
1t come out OF Lake Erie, 1t was
a great many miles from her home.
but Indian girls We're good walkers
and ten or twenty miles meant moth
ing to them when they wanted good
long stroll and time to think
AS the maiden stood by the river
and saw 1t rushing down out Of the
lake, her thoughts became more and
more sad, and finally, seeing a canoe
hauled up on the bank, she determined
to trust herself to the mercy OF the
water rather than 10 go back and
marry the hideous old chief.
At that time there were no great,
high falls where the laundering wat
ers of Niagara now roar and rave:
but there were fearful rapids there
whirling and swirlng among jagged
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

exact repetition of what John Hull
did $50 years before, when his daugh
ter, Hannah, was married.
Hannah Hull, however, received
bigger. dowry than Fraulein Duchts-
throughout the colony for her ample
been not far from 200 pounds.
Old John Hull, fat and jolly himself.
had grown rich through his minting
of the pine tree shillings, and at
his daughters wedding a great pair
of scales hanging from a tripod were
brought in.
tree" shillings were heaped in the 9TH
anced. AS the purchasing power of
money then was about twice what it
is now, Hannah's dowry was a rich
one.
1t was a merry wedding, but it was
a stern and gloomy man who took
away Hannah and her weight in sill
ver-Samuel Sewall, one of the grim
judges who condemned the witches to
death at the time of the Salem witch
craft.
One of the East Indian rajahs an
nually gives away in charity his
weight in gold. He goes in great state
to a temple, where he takes his place
in one scale of a great pair of bal
ances, and gold is heaped on the other
until the Rajah is lifted from the mar
BILE floor.
Then the gold is distributed and the
Rajah gives away nothing else for
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

This" said the Man Who Winds
the Day Up. waving his key grandy,
rs the Right Honorable, the Man
Who Paints the Grass Green"
Yes, yes" said the old man. THAT
is all very well, but suppose you run
right along now and wind up the
works. I'm sure that you are letting
them run down. Here l have been
painting and painting like anything
and the things won't dry. You are at
least two weeks behind time"
Don't mind him." said the Man
Who Winds the Day Up, winking at
Lucy. Ever since we started in bust
ness together he has been complaining
that the world is running down. l
think that the ELECTROMAGNETIC in the
paint is in his system"
"There!" roared the little old man.
You've made me put a great big
blot of green in a place where the
plans and specifications called for
white clover. You get out of here
or I'll paint you!"
The Man Who Winds the Day Up
thereupon went away in a dignifed
manner by the simple expedient of
throwing his heels up in the air and
neighing like a horse as he ran.
Where did you learn to paint so
beautifully" asked Lucy for the sake
of politeness and conversation"
Ever since 1 can remember" said
the Man Who Paints the Grass Green,
looking up proudly. 1T was quite by
accident that 1 discovered that l had
the gift. During the long wet spell
some time ago, when we were all in
the Ark together, Noah decided to
paint the animals so they wouldn't
mildew. The first plan was to paint
them all gray like battleships; but
| after they had painted the elephant
and the pig and the rhinoceros and
| the hippopotamus and a few others.
happened to see some bright colored
paint, and without saying a word
painted one of the beasts yellow and
then l spotted him all over with black
| and red. He was a beauty l tell you,
when 1 got through.
when Noah saw how fine the beast
looked lit was the Jeopardy he gave
me the position of Chief Artist. l
| believe that they pronounce the word
artist now, but that's all wrong.
Il improved myself at every OPP
portunity, until by the time the Ark
got into her harbor. 1 had turned out
yellow, purple and blue macaws of
| South America and the mandril ape
with the beautiful violet, pink and
| lilac nose.
THE fame of these works brought
| me the appointment to my present
position. 1t is hard work, but the
| pay is very good, and l get my board
| thrown in"
Where do you get all the green
| paint? ?" asked Lucy.
why. from the green stars. of
course. Haven't you ever noticed
them? And If you did, haven't you
ever wondered what made them
green? Well. it's because they are the
green paint factories. And l keep
| them busy, l can tell you. We use
an awful lot of it in our business"
II use water colors,' said Lucy,
but the paint always runs in
| blotches."
All" said the Man Who Paints the
Grass Green, that's where art comes
in. You never see any blotches in
our finished goods. They are all per-
feet. guaranteed to wash, fast dye,
| first quality, only one brand, no sec
ends" He said this breathlessly.
You see," he continued, I'VE work
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

took her back to the cave and asked
her TO tell him why she did such
foolish thing as to venture out on the
river without a paddle-he Woulu say
nothing about her taking the canoe
without asking for it,
The maiden told him all ana ne
said: We'll, perhaps you would pet
ter stay here awhile. as | happen 10
know that the hideous old chlef you
sneak OF viii die in a few days. and
then you can go home in safety. But
while YOU are here" added Hinun,
you might as well learn something
and | will be your teacher.
SO the girl STAYED on the shores OF
the river for several days, and the
thunder-god taught her many things.
why" asked the maiden one day,
do people in my village die in such
numbers? What causes so much sick
ness there ?"
Il will tell you" replied Hmm, "and
you must tell the people and make
them move the village nearer TO the
shores OF the lake"
Then Re told her how under the
ground on which the village stood
there lived an enormous snake, who
delighted in killing people and who
crept out at night and poisoned the
springs from which they drank.
many 'iii'uil 'OtN 'iiO
it was time TO go home: that the old
chief was dead, and she need fear
nothing.
So she returned to the village, and
very glad her parents were to see her,
for they had believed that she had
been eaten by bears.
She told them all that had happened
to her and all that she had learned
from the thunder god Hmm.
A council of the tribe was called.
and it was decided to do as the thun-
der god had directed and move the viii
lage nearer to the lake This was
done, and for a long time there was
hardly any sickness and death among
the people, but by and by things be-
gan to be as bad as they were before;
so the maiden went to Hmm and ask
ed him what was the matter now.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

between us and the stars as it flew
past.
Nov in all that time we never
saw it settle on the ship; and as all
hands were watching it keenly, 1 am
quite sure that it never did. 1t isn't
built to sit on the water. So it may
be assumed that this particular bird
was on the wing day and night for at
least seventy-two hours.
II don't think half as much of the
flying powers of the albatross and the
stormy petrels, although they are
wonderful The fact is that the al
batross and the gulls get a whole lot
of rest. Every few moments one Of
them goes pumping into the sea and
sits there, rocking by the waves, for
periods ranging from a few minutes to
hours.
1.-THE stormy petrels can't sit on the
water, but they rest their wings by
running on it. That is they hop along
with their wings futtering enough to
hold them up partially. The water is
just dense enough to give them a bit
of support ="
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

them. Now Fraulein Dutchatseheck
was a comedy lass Of generous proper
lions.
A basket was then placed on the
scales and silver coins We're poured
in until it weighed as much as the
bride; and that was her dowry. 1t
amounted in value to about $1,000.
1t is possible that Herr Duchats-
check never heard of John Hull, mint
master, who made the famous pine
tree" shillings in New England in
colonial days, but the action of the
worthy German of Dusseldorf was an,
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17

The hand that rocks the cradle rules
the world:
TITS a statement very true.
But the hand that yields the hair
brush also has
Very serious work to do.
If you'll study Mans expression
You will see in it confession
That she isn't having fun
Now her naughty deeds are done.
All, this world is ever ready
With a hairbrush hard and steady,
And if you don't believe it, all that
you will have to do
Is to play your pranks and giggle,
And before long you will wiggle
While the worlds great solid hair
brush plays on you a sharp
tattoo!
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17
Combined Words.

% Combine a current of air with
a girl and get a machine for raising
weights.
(2) Combine equitable with frozen
water and get impartiality.
90 Combine a nobleman with small
er and get unequalled.
ca Combine a decade with capable
and get may be held.
90 Combine to contend with to
rave and get to authorize.
60 Combine a pretense with a
lady's attendant and get a lighted
torch.
The Savannah morning news., 1904-04-17
THE PUZZLE CORNER.
CurtaiIed words.

ID Curtail a general in Napoleon s
army and get the wife of Jupiter.
~ Curtail one of the United States
and get flowery.
go Curtail a bird and get a great
person.
ca Curtail a noted evangelist and
get disposition.
60 Curtail efficacy and get love
of the fine arts.
90 Curtail a lamentation and get
simple.
60 Curtail a monarch and get rela-
ton.
80 Curtail a place to sit and get
a body of water.