Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-12-14
CHAPTER xxvn.

HAHE Padlocked Book-In this lsr1 book ! ana going to write you, la@ 7 Louis, a letter which will
 never be delivered, because I shall burn it when it is finished. Yet 1 that will not prevent my tantalizing you about 1t. To the padlocked book can. say what want to say. To you I must say what is expedient.
 That is a foolish woman who does violence to aloYe by inordinate loving. Yet first I will tell you that I sink to sleep saying, ''He loves me!'' and rise to the surface saying, "He loves mel" and sink again saying, "He loves met" all night long.
 The days when see you are real days, fnishedr and perfect and this is ! the ebestof them Ia H. God 4eoreye Jess in ] paradise your mother for bearing you! ] If you never had come to the world should not have walked to life myself. l And why this is cannot tell. The first time ever saw your tawny head and ] .tawny. eyes, though you did not notice 4 me, Issaid. Whether he is the king or not would make no diffeEen z Be cause I knew you were more than the i king to me.
 Sire, you told me once you could not understand why people took kindly to you. There is in you gentle dignity i and manhood most royal. AS you come into room you cast your eyes about unfearing. Your head and shoulders are erect You are like 6 lion in sup pleness and tawny color. which influ- hepees pae agaiAst 4aX W5lls11 sY:plEaipspire : confidence. Even girls like AnnabeI, who feel merely at their finger ends and are as well satisfied with one hus- band as another, know you to be solid
 man, not the mere image of man. Besides these traits there lg a power going out from you that takes hold of people invisibIy. My father told me there was a man at the court of your father who. could put others to sleep 6Sys1-+ as waving. Of his hands. II am not 2 corrnprasring you 4fo ithiat chariatan, yet. when you touch my hand q strange current runs through me.
 l When we were in Paris used to ! dress myself every morning like a priestess going to serve In temple. sf And what was it. for? To worship one I [ tdlear head for Kalf afl hour 4perhapsy F You robbed me Of the sight Of you for two months r
 Sophie Saint Michel told me to be- ware of loving a man. Today he says: s'I love youI need youg I shall go to the devil without youg' Tomorrow The turns to his affairs. In six months he says, ''I was fool!'' Next years11 he Says: ''Wtlo wasit that drove me wild for a time last year? What was her 1 name?'
 Is love a game where men and wo- men try to outwit each other, and man boasts, "She loves me"-not "I love her?'', .s
 f You are two persons. Lazarre be- longs to me. He follows, he thinks about me He used to slip past my windows at Lake George and cast:his eyes up at the panes. But Louis is l my sovereign. He sees and thinks and acts without me, and his lot is apart 1 from mine.
 We are. in ship going to the side of I the world where you are. Except that E we are. going toward you it.is like be ing pushed off alclin. All my faith in the appearances of things Is at an end. have been juggled with. have mis- judged.
 I could have insisted that we hold
 Mont-Louis as tenants. The count is our friend. It is not a strong mans
 fault that a weak man is weak and ] unfortunate. Yet, seeing Cousin Phi Hppe wince, I could not put the daily l humiliation upon him. He is like my l father come back, broken, helpless. ! And Paul and I, who are young, must
 take care of him where he will be least humbled.
 I was overpampered in Mont-Louis
 and Paris. like easy. living, car. rtages, long tailed gowns, jewels, trained servants, music and spectacles
 on the stage, park and wide lands all my own, exclusion from people whO do not interest me, idleness in enjoy l ment. I am the devil of vanity. Annabel i has not half the points have. When ] the men are around her I laugh to think I shall be fine and firm as a statue when she is mass of wrinkles and wisp of fuzz. When she is a mass of wrinkles and a wisp of fuzz she will be riper and tenderer inside. r But will the men see that? No. They 1 will be off after fresher Annabel So 1 much for men. On the other hand, I had but few months of luxury, and may count on the hardness that comes Of endurance. for was an exile from childhood. There is strength in doing l the right thing. If there were no God, # Christ had never died OH the cross