The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1904-09-11
ON THE LABOR TROUBLES.

By F. P Dunne-Copyright 1904 by Nc
Clure. Phillips & Co.
II see tn sthrike has been called Off"
sail IHr. Hennessy.
(which wan?" asked Mr.. Dooley. 'T
can't keep thrack iv thin. Somebody
is s.hrigin' all tn time. Wan day tn
horseshoers is out an tn next day tn
tea isters TIL Brotherhood of Molasses
Candy Pullers { hrikes an tn Amalga-
mated Union iv Pickle Sorters quits in
sympathy. TIL carpinter that has been
putin up a chicken coop for Hogan
WI Shawn himsei without a card fir m
tn BARRIERS union. Hogan fixed it up
with tn walkin' dillygatt Nv TIL BARRIERS
an tn carpinter quit wurruk because
he found Hogan was wearin' a pair iv
non-union pants. Hogan winL down town
ard had his pants unionized an come
home to find that TIL carpinter had
eggs without TIL union label Hogan in
jooced tn hens to jine tn union but wan
Nv thin laid an egg two days in success
syon an tn others sthruck, tn rule iv
tn union bein' tht no hen shall lay
more eggs than tn most reluctant hen
In the bunch.
IT'S tn same Everywhere. I haven't
had sandwich 1 r a year because livery
time I've asked ( r wan ayether tn
butchers or tn bakers has been out on
sthrike If | go down in car in TIL
mornin, it's eight to wan 1 walk back
at mighty A man l knowed had his un-
Gle in tn house much longer than aye
tl0r Nv thin had intined on account iv
a sthrike iv the Frindly Brotherhood iv
Morchuary Helpers. Afther they'd got
a permit firm tn walkin' dillygate an
tn, remains were carried away undher a
profusyon Nv floral inl ms with a union
label on each " thin, IT, coortege was
stopped at ivry corner be a picket who
first punched I'll mourners an thin ex-
amined thei cridintials. Me frind says to
me: Uncle Bill wud've been proud. He
was very fond Nv long fun'rals an this
was tn longest I liver attinded. 1t took
eight hours an was much more rioch-
Gus goin' out thin comm back says
he
1T was different whin I was young
man, Hinnissy. In thin days Capital an
Labor was frindly, or Labor was. Cap
ia was like a father to Labor, givin 1t
It's boord and -Jdgin S. ljayether inther-
ferred with TIL other Capital whit on
capitalism and labor wint on laborin
In thin golden days a wurrukin' man
was an honest artisan. That's what he
was proud to be called TIL week befure
illiction he had his pitcher in tn funny
papers. He wore a square paper cap
an a leather apron, an he had his arm
ar-round Capital, rosy binivolint old
guy with plug hat an eye glasses. They
was goin' to TIL polls together to vote
FIR simple OF Capital Capital an La
Dor walked arm in ar-rm instead Nv
havin' both hands free as at prisint.
Capital was contint to be capital an
Labor was used to bein' labor. Capital
come ar-round an felt tn arm w la
Dor wanst in a while an livery year Mrs.
Capital called on Mrs. Labor an congrat-
ylated her on her score. TIL pride Nv
livery artisan was to wurruk as long at
his task as TIL boss cud afford to pay
tn gs bill. In return fr his fidelity he
got a turkey livery year. At Chris mas
time Capital gathered his happy family
around him an in the prisince " tn
ladies Nv tn neighborhood give thin a
short grafton. Me brave la-ads,'1 says
he, we've had good year. (Cheers.)
| have made millyon dollars (Sinsa-
tion) I attribute this to me supeeryor
skill aided be ye'er earnest efforts at
tn bench an at tn forge. (Sobs) Ye
have done so well that we won't need
so many " us as We did. 0ong an
CONTINUOUS cheerin'.) Those Nv us who
can do two mems wurruk will remain an
If possible do four. Our other faithful
sarvants.' he says. can como back in tn
spring he says, If alive he says. An