Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-03-18
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CHIPS AND RAGS
By LUE F.. VERNON.
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The steamer Queen is bound to be
wrecked. She can't help it.
An average man is one that feels
he is little better than his neighbors.
Did you ever see neighbors that
don't lie about each other? We
never did.
Canada is the portion of North
America which the United States
doesn't want.
He put his arm around her waist,
The color left her cheek,
But upon the shoulder of his coat
1t showed up for a week.
An Olympia girl has her room decor
ated with guns. pistols, swords, and
the like. She believes in having arms
about her, as it were.
The richest woman in Cuba, worth
s., 900, 600, is a widow, without in
cumbrance. Her name is Sonora Rosa
Ahreu; address, Cerro, a fashionable
suburb of Havana.
With cyclones jumping around
Gray's Harbor, and politicians hopping
around Olympia, there is no question
that Western Washington is being
greatly advertised.
Wouldn't it be just horrid if the
stone in the capitol annex turn out to
be papier nsaches Way things are
going now, one need not be surprised
at all if it were the case.
It's no use for homely freckled-
face girl expecting her photograph to
appear in the big papers. 1t is only
the beautiful girl that is given the
space at the top of the page.
One might as we'll feed bug powder
to San Francisco fleas in hopes OF
killing them, as to think for a mo.
ment that "Teddy" will ever be elect.
cd President of the United States.
A Washington dispatch states that
the government is puzzled to know
how to deal with Santo Domingo.
What's the matter with giving it a
dose OF " benevolent assimilation"
A problem to solve that beats the
age gag of Ann: How many walls
will have to be tore down to have
mortar placed between brick or stone
before the capitol building is declared
finished?
The giggling young woman and the
gum.chewing young woman, coupled
with the funny Eli Perkins young
man, at theater performance, remind
me OF a groupe OF monkeys in the
cage in a park.
If we had to choose between a wife
who played the violin and one who
played the piano, we would prefer the
one who plays the violin; because you
can throw the violin out of the win
dow, and piano you can't.
While it may not be long time
between drinks in Olympia it has been
long time between sailings OF San
Francisco steamers. recently. And
this is no seafoam talk, nor is it to be
taken with grain OF salt, either.
The public many times has to
await the clerks pleasure at the gen.
eral delivery window in the postoffice.
He must talk to the young lady about
the party to be given next week, and
other topics that help the postoflice
department.
Prohibition fanatics are hollering
about drinking water instead OF whis-
key. 1t is time they were finding out,
if they don't already know, that water
is about all one can get out OF a bottle
labeled whiskey, nowadays. And this
is truth, sor.
A man in Olympia is 80 afraid OF
microbes that he washes the anti
septic gauze gloves he wears in an
antiseptic fluid before he ever handles
the sterilized glass that contains the
boiled and filtered mineral water he
intends to drink.
An Olympia young man was calling
upon q certain young lady, the other
night, in the southern part OF town,
when all at once the latter exclaimed ::
"'Tis eleven P. NJ" But he did not
seem to understand that "P. NJ"
meant" please move"
The lady who sits behind you at the
theater, eating peanuts and throwing
the shells so they slide down your
back, may highly, peacefully and con-
tentedly enjoy the show, but you only
declare the performance stupid, slow,
and decidedly irritating.
A man who can manage seven big
papers, and bring them into a paying
investment, must know where he is at,
when he takes his stand openly and
fearlessly in fighting the money mag
mates, and striving to have the wage
Garner receive the pay that his work is
worth.
The rotten condition of bank in
Kansas was not discovered by the
bank examiner, but by private inves-
tors. If bank examiner can examine
a bank and not discover that the
cashier has stolen more than the de-