Waterbury evening Democrat., 1904-01-28
Doings Ir, Jericho.
Pap Perkins. Postmaster. Tells About a
 Deacon and a Hog.

gCopyright, 1903, by C. B. Lewis.l
 ~ NE of the eventS in the history M of Jericho, and one that for a A v time made every .inhabitant
 hold his breath, was what was called the hog case One morning Dea- con Abernethy Garter, widower, set out to drive fat hog from his farm to the village, distance of two miles, to make a sale to the butcher. 1The way was up hill and down, with many paths and lanes leading of the main road, and, of course, the hog act ed like any hog would. He made & bolt off the main highway whenever chance offered, aud by the time half the journey had been accomplished and deacon and hog had arrived in front of the Widow Greens the good man was swearing mad, and the hog was look ing for more trouble.
 The deacon had once paid his atten- tions to the widow with view of mak- ing her his second wife, but as they had disagreed on religious matters he had ceased to call. This fact made the widows heart rankle, and she was bid ing her time to get even: When she stood in her door and saw the deacon and the hog approaching she realized that her opportunity had arrived
 The front gate stood open, and as the hog arrived opposite he rushed in. There were beds of pineys and pinks and holiyhocks, and the hog proceeded to devastate them. The deacon, who was armed with club, did his best to prevent damage, but his best didn't count. The widow looked on for & mo- ment and then called out:
 Deacon Carter, I'll have the law on you and make you smart for thisr'
 But ain't I trying to get the blamed hog outT' he shouted in reply. X
 No, you're not. You drove him in here a-purpose to spIre me because wouldn't marry youv'
 Nobody ever asked you to marry me- .s.
 You as good as asked me. but I found out you was stingy and mean, and I sent you packing. Don't try to lie out of it.''
 II wouldn't ask you to marry me if you was the last woman on earth! Head off that hog and help me get him out" ,..
 Head off your own hog. You could have kept him out if you had wanted to, and I'll make you pay for all the damage he's done"
 It took the deacon fifteen minutes to get the hog back into the road, and while running up and down the garden he made use of pretty strong language, though none 100 strong for the occa- sion. At intervals, as he rushed about, the widow would call out:
 Deacon Garter, you are swearing like pirate, and swearing 's ag'in the doctrines of religion"
 I'm not swearing" he would shout back, ''but I'll be hanged if I don't knock the head off this internal old hog if he don't head out of thisr'
 No sooner had the deacon disappeared down the road with his hog than the widow put on her bonnet and started out among the neighbors to relate the adventure. She not only laid her dam ages at $50, but she could name over fifty different swear words used in her hearing by the deacon. In two days it was known for five miles around that Deacon Garter had fallen from grace. and at the end of a week the widow preferred charges against him in his church and had him brought up for trial.
 The town was pretty evenly divided on the question, while the deacon only asked for fair trial. The first charge was that the deacon had steered the hog into the widows yard out of spite the second that he had been profane in her presence. As to the first charge the deacon said:
 Brethren, there are those among you who have set out to drive hog along the road. Nature made the mule ob. stinate and the hog perverse. If the wind bloweth where it listeth, the hog goeth where he pleaseth until you can head him of with 8 club. From my
 sa nnnnsnnsr q mile