Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1904-09-02
Efff fff fff fffffff((EEG
CHIPS AND RAGS
s333s333333ss3sss333ss33
BY LUE +. VERNON.

S3333333333333 3333383s3ss99
The P..L. heads an editorial Are
Americans Polite" It's according to
whether the people "sit down in front"
or not.
The editor of the PuyaHup Valeu
Tribune should head a popular sub
scription list to raise money and send
it to Russia to help pay for repairs,
made by the Japs, to a few of the
Cars battleships, recently, off the
harbor, at Port Arthur.
In the Republican platform is the
phrase, "Combination of capital and
OF labor are the results of the economic
movement of the age, but neither must
be allowed to infringe upon the rights
of the people" This is the only place
in a platform OF nearly $500 words
where any reference is made 10 the
cause Of labor.
Puyallup must certainly feel proud
OF her Russian sponsor who conducts
a newspaper in that pretty town and
collects money for adds" given it by
American business men who would as
soon see an epidemic of black death
devastate the place as to think for a
moment OF considering Russia friend
to the United States.
Three years OF Mr.. Roosevelt as
President have cleared away all illu.
sions as to his ideals. His conduct
in the " floating" OF the Panama re.
public, his ruthless disregard OF pub.
lie sentiment, his dictatorisl assump-
ton of authority in every department
of the public service have sufficed to
show the people that his ideals of gov
ernment is imperialism, that he regards
brute force rs the equivalent for right
and his will as the equivalent of legal
ity.
The science of anatomy has made
great progress OF late. We learn that
a Georgia colonel was recently "shot
in the ticket Office"
The other day a man was fatally
shot through the door," and not long
ago another received a dangerous
wound in his window"
Another paper says man was " shot
in the suburbs" He kissed her pas.
sionately upon her reappearance."
She whipped him upon his return"
" He kissed her back" "Mr. Blake
walked in upon her invitation" "She
seated herself upon his entering"
" We thought she sat down upon her
being asked" "She tainted upon his
departure"
A little Olympia girl was observed
by q friend of the family eating a GER
tain cereal preparation. She seemed
to eat sadly.
"Don't you like that, Pearl% in
quired the friend.
"Not partic'ly," replied the little
tot.
Why do you eat it, them"
She p fused with spoon on edge OF
the bowl.
"It's got to be eaten," she answered
gravely.
"The grocery man gives mamma q
rag doll for every two packages she
buys, and it's got to be eaten every
morning."
And she continued to eat the cereal.
There is one cheerful aspect of the
campaign this year. The widest
partisan does not claim that the elec.
ton of either Parker or Roosevelt will
plunge the country into bankruptcy.
Both are strong, fine types OF the
theories OF government for which they
stand. And the American people will
proceed upon the even tenor of their
way, whichever party wins. Neverthe.
less, it is my profound conviction that
on the leading questions of the day.
such as trusts. tariff, imperialism, in.
ternal development and the negro
question. the Democratic party is
right and that its victory will most
contribute to the prosperity and hap
piness Of our people and the preservs-
ton of our national ideals.
Some "slips of the pen" made by
well-known authors are very interest.
ing. Wilkie Collins, in some myster-
iOus fashion, makes the moon rise in
the west. Rider Haggard, in King
Solomon's Mines" contrives an eclipse
OF the new moon for the benefit OF bis
readers, and Coleridge places a star
between the horns of the crescent
moon as she rises in the east. Shake.
speare makes a clock strike in ancient
Rome more than 1000 years before
clocks were invented. Robinson Cru
soc, deciding to abandon the wreck,
removes his clothes in order to swim
ashore. The author makes him. in
this condition. fill his pockets full of
biscuits. Anthony Trollope pictures
Andy Scott coming whistling up the
street with cigar in HE mouth"
"Jim" Butler, the discoverer of the
famous mining camp, Tonopah, Ne.
vada, soon after making his "pile"
journeyed down to San Francisco and
looked about for the most splendid
restaurant he could find.
He wanted to make up to himself
in one glorious night for all his priva-
tions and hardships of many years.
When he found his restaurant, and
the waiter handed him the bill OF fare,
be found it was in q language that is
not commonly spoken in mining
camps, and that he could not make
out anything but the prices, which
we're extremely high.
So he turned to the waiter and said :
&c RriD0 me- a small bottle and 100
dollars worth Of ham and eggs"
Father" asked Tommy, the other
day, "why is it that the boy is said
to be the father of the man?"
Mr.. Blake had never given this sub
ject any thought, and WAS hardly pre-
pared to answer off hand.
"Why-why," he said stumbling,
"It's 80 because it is, suppose"
"Well, dad, since Pm your father,
q" I'm going to give you ticket to the
circus and q half.dollar besides. !