The Birmingham age-herald., 1904-06-30
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
 MATTERS OF THE WORLD

HT Is far cry from charging up San
 Juan hill In the face of a murderous
 fire from Spanish guns. or roping the festive steer on wild western plains. to charging about on a 5000 tennis court in an effort to keep down avoirdupols, but that has been done by Theodore Roose- velt the nations chief executive and very strenuous man. MT. Roosevelt has taken up tennis with his characteristic energy and IS in hopes that 1t will keep him from becoming too fat. He is at present learning to lob on a private court just south of the executive offices in Washington and smashes the ball in fashion that would do his erstwhile Rough Riders much good. As yet the President has not become skillful player but he is in earnest and intends keeping up the game after he gets to Oyster Bay so that the public may expect him to become quite proficient in the course Of time. There is no reason why the Presi- dent of these United States should not become good tennis player although poker is more in favor among statesmen
 The prospective aerial jockeys at St. Louis are already beginning to have their troubles. FroL present indications the aeronauts will not begin their contests under suspicious circumstances. Some miscreant has slashed the balloon bag of Santos-D -Dumont and another aeronaut has been arrested for reasons that he is una ble to explain. When the airships begin to explode, runaway and tumble to the ca in pon a aoY,f, 1iminary woes will no doubt be forgotten Before the race begins 1t would be 8 good idea for the humane societies of St. Louis to have all the church spires muffied so that there will be no danger of an aeronaut converting himself into a weather vane.
 A Kansas City judge recently had to de- eide whether kissing was a disturbance of the peace or a philanthropic enterprise. He came to the conclusion that it is a disturbance and actually had the temerity to fine the guilty couple sl each. Now, kissing has been known to disturb the peace of a great many people, especially those people who thought they should have been kissed when other people were being kissed. but there is serious doubt among the populace as to whether 1t comes under the jurisdiction of a justice of the peace, except when a wedding re- suits. For a man to be caught by his wife kissing some other mans wife gen erally dlsturbs household peace and fool ish young people who engage in oscula- tion usually have heart disturbances Li in the Kansas City case the neighbors complained that they could not rest we'll just because two occupants of flat chose to kiss on the front steps. Those people must be very unkind persons with no appreciation for osculatory performances and the judge Is surely in the very winter of lifes dscontent.
 Marriage by telephone Is one of the very newest wrinkles discovered by an in genious humanity. A happy wedding as weddings go, has just been consummated while the bridal party was in one town and the preacher in another According to law the knot thus tied in long distance fashion is as secure as any other mat rimonial knot and there is no reason why the newly wed should not be as happy as the circumstances will permit. The telephone wedding has the virtue of prI- vacy and freedom from female mobs but