davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Good as Her Word.

Esmeralda-She used to say that IL
she ever married a man it would be
because she wanted to make him mis-
cradle, yet she married that young Fiz-
zletop after she had known him only q
week.
Gwendolen-Yes; 1t seems to have
been case of hate at first sight.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Accustomed to Carriages.

Old Lady-Why do you call your car
riage when you are going such a short
distance?
Miss Upperten--Iti is unnecessary. per-
maps, but never think of walking. We
nave always had carriage. you know.
Old Lady-Yes. remember. Your
grandfather kept his carriage. too. He
peddled milk from TN. Y. Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
ParadiSiaca1-

Mother-So you have been at the jam
again. Adolphus,
Son-The cupboard door came open it
self, mother, and l thought
Mother-Why didn't you say: Get
thee behind me, Satan?"
Son-So 1 did, mother; and he went
and pushed me right in-Breoklyn Life.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Pleasant Anticinat;ons

why can't you marry me? It's true
I'm not enormously rich, still have an
income plenty big enough to support us
nicely"
Yes. but think how ridiculously
small the allimony allowed out of 1t will
bc."-Town Topics
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
A Cutting Reply.

Mr.. DAvnue-My Stars! More mon
ey? What on earth did you do with all
1 gave you last week?
Mrs. D'Avnue-Well, I used a little
or 1t In buying new album for the pho
tographs of the dukes and princes re-
FUSED before I married you.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Juvenile Happiness.

Did you boys have good time at
your bonfire Johuny?"
You bet We did! We burnt a back
yard fence. half dozen piano boxes,
an the most of old Squilligan's smoke
house, an had a be-yootiful run when
the police got after Chicago Trib-
une
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Commercial Rivalry.

''Pa. what is commercial rivalry?"
"WeIl, commercial rivalry is the way
your mother tries to spend what make
faster than Mrs. Dash next door spends
what her husband makes. "-Chicago
Journal.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
His Last Shirt.

Mr.. Hardup-Look herei you've made
a mistake with my washing. You sent
home four or five old handkerchiefs that
don't belong to me- and nothing else.
Washerwoman-They amt handker-
chiefs; that's your last shirt, sor.-Tit-
Bits
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08

III YOU cannot save the thousands
Yearly ruined by strong drink.
You can reach by friendly warning
Some one standing on the brink.
You can give your own example
To the safe. abstaining side.
Shielding thus from fierce temptation
Precious souls for whom Christ died.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Got 1t at Last.

Binks-Old Skinnem, the trust pro-
moter Is dead.
Winks-That so? He's got now what
he always wanted.
Binks-What's that?
Wiaks-The earth.-Town Topics.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Explained.

Stella-Where does your parrot
learn such awful language?
Bella-He is usually in the same
room where my husband shaves him
self.-N Y. Herald.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Natural History.

The airship is a curious bird;
The fact no one denies.
He stays securely on the roost,
And very seldom flies.
Washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
The Usual Catch

$50 Bragley was out fishing yester-
day. How many did he bring back with
him?"
ooh, about a DOZEN
"a dozen what? Bass?"
mo, fish stories. "-Philadelphia
Press. - ~. ~. ~u... e.,l-
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Her Idea.

Mother-You say you didn't let him
hug you? Why, Ethel, | was sure saw
you hugging him
Ethel-Well--er-I thought if I only
squeezed him real hard l might make
him let go.-Pbiiadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Considering the Lilies.

Full many a man who does not toll
To meet his early need
Believes that he's n lily when
He's Just n jimson weed.
washington Star.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
a S;ohtnraft

"The bill for the picture" said the
tattooist, "will lie $50"
~All right" replied his customer;
Siust draw on Houston Post.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Prudence

DO you encourage your daughters
literary ambitions?"
Decidedly s--a+Swered the matter-of-
fact woman e'if she has the sossiping
instinct II Is bornd to come out, and
she'd better be making up stories about
iina@' "v p"obh 7eish-
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
So Therel

Patience-She says she never made q
mistake in her life.
Patrice-Well, neither have l; and
don't believe heri-Yonkers Statesman.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
EXDerienced.

Rounder-Do you believe in the con-
troll of one mind over another?
Married Mani certainly do; l was
hypnotized when l proposed to the girl
that is now my wife. - Detroit Free
Press
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Time for Disannearing

He never told his love, for when
The fatal words he would have said,
Her father from above yelled DOWN
And the young man quickly fled.
Chicago Daily News
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Incentive.

Old Gentleman-Do you think you
could love me better if told you was
worth a million?
Miss Ingenue-I could try harder, sir
IN O. Picayune.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Unanswerable

Mr.. Steele-Why is it that with such
q name you are so awfully wicked?
Mr. Goode-Why is it with such a
name you are so awfully soft?-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08

The ravages Of drink in Edinburgh
have, it appears, reached the worst
proportion ever known in the expert
ence Of the Edinburg lunatic asylum.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
As an Investnnent.

Eyes, he sent her four dollars worth
Of violets"
"But can he afford it?"
"Oh, guess so. She's worth half
udllion. "-Clev elapd Plain Dealer.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
His Limitations

NO" said the dear fellow, al only
believe what can understand"
Really" said the girl. What q
skeptic you must bei"-Chicago Jour
nal.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
The Shirk.

He worked with one eye on the clock
The whole long work-day through.
Now he can watch it with both eyes;
He's nothing else to do.
Houston Post
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
The Contrary View.

"Still." said the wife of the ossified
man, there is such thing as having
q husband with too much backbone."-
Chica 90 Tribune
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
The Early Drama.

He-I thought the play would inter
est you.
She-Why, the plot is full of flaws.
He-Yes. l thought you'd be inter-
ested in picking them.-Town and
Country.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08

A Sad. Sad Case.
There was a man il our town,
And he was vopd'rous wise:
He HE'D him 70 4 doctor who
Examined both his ewes:
"Iou need some glasses. SIR" he said
The man pot en- a car.
And bought just 20 glasses at
The very nearest bar.
And when he'd taken every glass
He made ans her call
Upon the doc, .,uf by ire~
rgn ~~uidn'ts
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08

sick. ma'am
Mrs Mccall Bui--er don't you
think she could see mey
Bridget-orm sure she could an d'd
ma'am. Dim thinkn' that's what made
her ck.-Philadelphia Press.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08

PANTHER is loose
in the house of
men,
Strong, crafty and
cruel, and none
may know
What wooded valley
shall hold his
den.
Or by what paths
he will come and
go.
In the shaded tree
boughs he may
lie concealed,
In waysiGe bram-
bies, in f1owery
dell:
The father has taken
his gun adeld.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
sh.
His o.

why don't 30 AZ TO N TO
wedding?" sns, GrS EnpecS. Il
don't believe yos been 70 a we'd
ding since you q; Ided your own"
NO" mildly ssponGed MIR. Enpeck.
Il haven't And he added. softly.
to himself, Il sometimes wish l hadn't
attended that one philadelphia Bull
letin.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08

Spokes-Heath looked furious when !
passed him this afternoon.
Stokes-What was the matter with
him?
Spokes-Well, had the faster horse.
IN. Y. Times.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
Easing ri

Dauber-Is this
>ortrait q reality
Splasher-No IN
Newmillions.
Dauber-I sui,pk
this charcoal fket
Splasher-I Lad
my conscience. +
lions as she rea,
Life.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1904-10-08
science.

itiful womans
~ Inspiration?
a portrait of Mrs.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-02-08

Mr., Spielmann, the art critic. told the
following story of Morland, the paint
er, who was popular enough to have
his work forged In his lifetime: "A
dealer, unknown to him, employed
Morland to paint so many pictures, pro,
vided him with studio free in an
upper floor of his (the dealer'sl house
and begged that he would not trouble
to paint for longer than the morning
The terms were good. and the artist.
who was more than ever In want Of
money, readily agreed. But what Nor.
land did not know was that as soon as
he had left. ON and from the very first
day the dealer introduced some six
hack copyists into the room with sim
liar canvases to reproduce exactly
what the painter had done in the morn
ing, and In the evening all traces of the
incursion were removed. Each day
until the completion of the picture the
process was continued, and thus at the
end OF the engagement the dealer not
only possessed the original pictures,
but six copies of each, produced stage
by stage in the same way as Morland's
own. This. perhaps, accounts for some
Of the best copies extant~
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-02-08
JOY of Birds.

A writer in an English publication
declares that birds wag their tails
when they are happy. The gander,"
he says, when he has to his satisfac-
ton driven off n dog from the presence
OF his spouse returns to her, craning his
neck toward her, and wags his tail
with pleasure. Our jaCkdaw, or rather
jllldaw, as it is female, on our return
few days since after two months alb
sence, cried out Justify to us from the
bush where she was perched, and on
our going TO greet her she received us
with profuse tail wagging to show her
pleasure at our return. She always
greets her particular friends in the
household by wagging her tail, crouch
ing on her perch and cawing in an I'M
dertone."
Another observer finds that some
birds blush. He writes: I'VE have a
very fine specimen Of the blue and vel
low macaw which displays this trait,
not often. for he Is remarkably good
tempered and the blush is an invaria-
BILE sign of anger, SO much so that we
warn all friends that while his cheeks
remain white all attacks are feigned.
yet II the danger signal red, shows
to look out and keep out of reach" The
owner Of blue and orange macaw
says that its white. parchment-like face
becomes bright pink, especially above
the beak. whenever 1t Is angry or ex-
cited
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-02-08
STUDY THE SITUATION

--..1 t
.,..,.,,.., o.. "a
-.,....,, t,.a,s ,,5
..... ,,,.,,. rod.
e-r-... a.. .,....,., nc
,.,,.. ,r,.- ..,.,-,.,,,
....,,,,.,,,, o.,s ,ho oa,eraI
-, -. b, .,,,o ,,n,t b,zv over
the exact status. If there are any such
here the following from an exchange
clearing the way for a complete un-
Outstanding of the trouble in the far
east
What il the trouble in the far east =?
Janan Is irving TO keep Russia out Of
What is Korea and where is it stu
ated?
Korea is an autocracv under lama
nese influence about as large as Kan
sas with . manhattan estimated at
hRfWApn OOO 600 and H 600 600. The
apire occuniea a nanlnsula inst south
of Siberia hitting into the Pacific
oceap hetwaan the Yellow sea and the
sea Of Janan and reaching within less
than 100 miles of the southern end of
Japan.
Is Korea n rich countrv9
-,
.,,,
., ..,
80 ,,.
-, ~.-.
<,,,.a. .
. -
x,,orv Russian rarcbar,s hava crossaa
The ho,,d,rv into Eoraa ana pnss,
,,,oros,s .oc,,,,u,,tira thora ,aa, a..
x,aan natiya Government naturally lool
- ~. ovar Far ,rotoc,ion
uh,, - Iyo,a. 80 .,ra4oo.to ,,,,, 80
1,.,.
Eor .,,.,, ra,soro u,;.s. p,,..to. 49,,
IL $500. -, , ,o ,
,,,,,., O.,
= ~. 40, 49,. n.u,.., -.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1904-02-08

When your watch needs repairing
send it to Geo, II, Lake, who will do
II properly and at prices as low as con-
sistent with first class work. Mail Or
ders win receive prompt attention
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09
FLOWING and RUST
PROF. BOLLEY, GIVES SOME
RELIABLE ADVICE RELA-
TIVE TO RUSTED
STRAW

Prof. Bolley, of the North Dakota
Agricultural college. In reply to the
question as to whether the blowing
under of rusted straw would tend to
produce rust next year, writes as fol-
lows;
There is no reason to believe that
rust upon the straw of the present
crop, plowed under will Increase
the possibility of rust next year.
Rust comes upon q crop beca use OF
snecial weather conditions and soil
conditions which favor the germation
If the rust spores in the right time to
attack the crop. There are plenty of
red rust spores blown from the south
to the north to infect our fields Of
wheat provided conditions are right.
On light sandy soil I do not believe
it pays to plow under to much straw.
Wheat straw does not decay easily.
The result would be that wheat on
such land next year would not be able
to properly mature because the soil
would tend to dry out at dry time.
Too much rotted stuff in the soil pre-
vents proper soil continuity from be-
low upward.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09
THROUGH TOURIST CARS To
CALIFORNIA

The North Western Line will in
augurate through California Tourist
cars commencing Saturday Sept. 10th.
The first car will leave Minneapolis s
a. M, st. Paul 1885 a. m. and will
reach Les Angeles on the following
Wednesday morning. Second car Tues
day Sept. s0th to leave Minneapolis
8 80 p. NJ, st. Paul Dos p. m. and
arrives in San Francisco following
Saturday and Los Angeles Sunday.
These cars will move regularly each
Tuesday and Saturday on and after
above dates. For reservation in these
tourist sleeping cars and other infor-
nation regarding the rates to Califor-
MIA, etc., address T. W. Teasda]e,
General Passenger Agent, st. Paul,
MINI. 27-4
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09
CURE CONSERVATIVES
FREE OF CHARGE.

The National Jewish hospital for
the consumptives in Colorado has just
completed another fiscal year during
which it cared for 1876 patients Of all
creeds and from every section Of the
Union. Since Its establishment In
1900, it has cared for 554 consump.
tives, the larger percentage Of whom
left the institution either cured or so
much improved, and 90 thoroughly
educated in the therapeutics Of con-
sumption as to make almost certain
the permanent arrest of the disease.
It is one of the worlds noblest
charities for it il absolutely free to
patients, cares for the stricken of any
and all creeds, and is kept up solely
by contributions of the philanthropic-
minded.
There is no charity like the charity
that gives back to a man the power
to support a wife and children. the
strength that means ability to sup
port an aging mother and father. We
appeal to all for this great charity.
Address all communications to Alfred
Muller, Secretary, Ernest & Cranmer
Building. Denver.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09
PROPOSES A STATUE TO UNCLE
NATE

Long Prairie Leader: Over in Nor
rison county candidate for a county
office asks the support of the voters
because in 1853 he conceived the idea
of detaching part of Todd county and
adding it to Morrison county. He
says that through his persistent Efforts
this was done and that the acquisi tion
Of the territory doubled the county in
size, population, wealth and pt litical
influence. A good many people are
probably not aware that at one time
Todd county extended to the Miseis-
sippi river but it did and it would
probably today embrace the same ter
1itory but for the efforts Of the Morri-
son county statesman. We await with
Interest," to learn if the people of
Morrison county are going to show
the proper appreciation for the gentle
mans efforts by giving him the Office
he seks for. We presume the next step
will be an sgitation to work up inter-
est in a semi-centennial exposition to
be held in 1908 to celebrate the par
tison of Todd. the crime of SO. We sug.
gest that the commercial club Of Lit
tie Falls start subscription among
the school children for fund to build
a statue of the gentleman who thus
saved Morrison county from oblivion.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09
SALE OF BONDS.

Notice is hereby given, That bids for
the purchase of bonds Of the town of Hill:
man in the county of Morrison, state of
Minnesota, in the sum of Four Thousand
Dollars for the repairing and building of
roads and bridges in said town and to be
issued October LIST, 1904, will be received
by NJ. NJ. Meyer, town clerk of said town,
on oe oco ne 9 asX Of in
town of Hillman. Said bonds to be issued
in time as follows: !I'ati
Ten bonds for $50 each, payable begin
thereafter to and intludinR the year 1918,
and five bondesfoEthe sum Of $40 each,
payable one J,teE1st; 1912, and the rest, one
each year to and incll1d1l{Gsthe year 1923.
The town board reeervest1er wight to re-
iect any and all bids. EtTas
Dated August 9th, 1904.
g lEF.9i>22 NJ. NJ MEYER,
Town Clerk of Hillman Town, Pierz,
Minnesota. -.......... 1885,, z.-ys..
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09
FORTY YEARS OF ERRORS.

It took forty years before elastic
cushions under mining stamps for
crushing stone gave place to solid
masses of iron, and during all this
time at least one. half Of the applied
energy was wasted. It isn't taking
forty years for people to learn that by
using golden grain belt beer they can
not only save much nervous: energy
but gain strength and vigor daily.
This beer IL brewed from the finest
barley malt and hops Every drop is a
drop is help to health. and; because
of its delightful taste. q step to salts
faction. Order of your nearest dealer
or be supplied by s. P. Casey, Little
Falls.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09
FROM YUk0N'S SHORES
Private Hansen Writes
of Army Life in the
North

Ernest Hansen, we'll known here,
who enlisted in the o. S army few
months ago, is now stationed at Ft.
Gibbon. Alaska, on the Yukon. We
take the following extracts from q
letter just received from Private Han
sen by E. g. Anderson of this city:
I have been on the 60 ever since
left Little Falls, first to St. Paul,
then to Columbia Barracks. then to
Fl. Thomas, Kv.. and then to San
Francisco bsve seen much IT the
country and good many strange
things Going west we Hoped the loop
on the Santa Fe road, going through
the deserts Of New Mexico and Ari-
IONA, where nothing but sage brush
and cactus grows and white sand
stretches for miles. ! had a pretty
good time in Frisco, on my good be-
havior all the while. visited China
town, and saw Chinks of all kinds,
shapes and forms.
Most of Alaska that I have seen is
mountainous. Land ut the mouth of
tho Yukon is flat and marshy, but
about seventy miles up hills began to
appear and now and then Indian
village on the shore. The Indians up
here are the dirtiest things ever
saw The picture of an Eskimo gives
some idea of what they look like. At
St. Michael's there was a village close
to the post, and I went up to the. see ma
tives. I could smell them before got
up there. They dress in fur summer
as we'll as winter. They live exclu-
sivelv on fish down on the coast, but
up here they get ducks and squirrels
once in q while. At st. Michael's
they put their dead on the ground,
and throw limbs and brush over them,
and in one part Of the ground you
can see bones and skulls all over.
!. Carl Hansen IL stationed at Fl
Michae]s. He doesn't like the army at
all. and was sorry before he got to St.
Paul. like it first rate. 1t may be a
little lonesome up here, but then We
have got q good gymnasium outfit
along, and two pool tables, q billiard
table and q phonogrsph and musical
instruments Most Of our work is
to keep clean. You mustn't allow q
speck of dust on uniform or gun. OF
there will be trouble. get along
we'll even if I was river pig.
People that like to drink have to
be temperate, as beer here is % cents
for a small glass, and corn juice ie
81 pint.
They say there Is good hunting up
in the mountains. and will try that
after q while. We are going to have
target practice in couple of weeks
and I think can pretty near hold
them even.
ERNEST HANSEN,
Co. J. Sd Unity,
Fl. Gibbon, ALASKA.
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09

HICKS ON SEPTEMBER WEATHER.
The moon being at new and in
perigee on the 10th, and on the celes-
tial equator on the 10th, the chances
for prolonged and violent disturbances
into the 18th and 18th are unusually
great.
During the early stages Of these
general distur bances, an excessively
high temperature, or heated term, ie
sure to make it's appearance over most
parts of the country. provided that
West India storms with wide and deep
barometric depressions do not come
promptly out of the south seas, touch
ing our gulf and south Atlantic states.
If very low barometer and equinoc-
tial hurricanes reach the southern
coasts and states at this time, north
erly currents will induce marked
boreal conditions over western and
central sections, bringing frosts tt
northwestern states not far from 18th
to the 18th.
The next regular storm period ex-
tends from the 10th to the 21st.
Whatever character Of storm are in
progress during the period. 10th to
21st, will bring elimination crisis of
the period.
If an equinoctial hurricane, cr cy'
clone is in progress In the gulf, OF
adjacent waters. and does not reach
the southern coasts before, it is al
most certain to be felt, in violent
gales or high seas, within twenty-four
hours of noon on the 24th.
A regular Vulcan storm period ie
central on the goth. extending from
the 9th, two or three days into Octo'
Der. As we enter this period the baro-
meter will fall, the temperature will
again rise to quite warm. and scatter
ing storm will be advancing eastward
over the country about the soth and
3Oth
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09

TO cUREaAcoLo:IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bfnmo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the moneyiftt fails to cure
E. W. arOve'enignatu onsNaehshox. 26cts
Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1904-09-09

A Wadena school boy must have been
seriously i'll when his mother wrote
the following note to his teacher {:
Miss ---: Frank could not come
these three weeks because he had
amonia and information of the
voWels''-Ex.