, 1904-03-16
An |NVEIERAIE SMOKER.


Of the guests held his cigar between
his fingers without lighting it.
"Why don't you smoke, Joslin?" ask
ed the host.
Il will when the clock strikes H."
"Why at 1872
Il will explain, if you will permit
me, by telling a story: Several years
ago fell in love with and wooed a
young lady whose father was a crank.
He had a number of fads which he
inflicted mercilessly ON others and a
number of antipathies which he would
not permit others to infict upon him.
His chief dislike was tobacco in any
form.
"Now, from my youth up l have
been a great smoker. At ten years of
age l bought miniature cigars or ciga-
ritos and smoked them, not because l
thought it a fine thing to do, but be-
cause | enjoyed them.
well my devotion to the young lady
l have referred to met with a favor
able response, and l vas accepted. She
gave me to understand, however, that
SIX bdQ III " ulc tACcDI Will utT
father might give her or leave her in
his will, and it would be impossible for
her to marry me without his consent.
There would be no difficulty in OBJ
tanning 1t, and he had promised when
she married to settle a third of his
property upon her. All we had to do
was to humor him until after the settle
ment, which would occur simultaneous
ly with the marriage.
81 passed six months of torture. /
listened to the old mans stale jokes,
rode out with him In summer under
furs and in winter with not even a lap
robe. | enjoyed music which he de-
tested, so l heard none. 1 liked to go
to the theater, but as he condemned
theaters and actors l did not dare show
my face in a playhouse. But the crown
Of deprivations was the giving up of
smoking. My fiancee informed me on
the first day of our engagement that to
smoke in her fathers presence would
be like shaking a red rag before a mad
bull. To show her how much | loved
her l agreed not to smoke till after the
wedding. This she commended highly,
and l took the first opportunity to in
form her father that l did not smoke.
"The time spent without my beloved
cigars was m~addening. Nevertheless l
%refrained, and when my wedding day
came | was as free from nicotine as a
baby. When l awoke on that mo-
mentous day l admit my chief joy was
not that l was going to be married,
though l loved my fiancee desperately,
but that as soon as the settlements
were made, the marriage ceremony
over and we were driving to the sta
ton l would light a cigar. To this my
bride to be had assented.
1--WE were to be married at II noon in
presence only of the family. The eccen-
trio father had a horror Of large we'd
dings and would consent only to a pri-
vate one. l went to my DON at 10
o'clock to dress. My toilet was COM
pleted in half an hour, and I had moth
of the best cigars l could find, and they
were ON my mantel. l took out a num-
Der to put in my satchel and momenta
rily held them under my nose.
Gentlemen, the fragrance of those
cigars was irresistible, delicate, deli
cious, intoxicating. Why notY l said.
L have an hour here alone. At the
end of that hour the settlements will
be made. What risk is there in my
smoking here aloneY' | bit off the end
of the cigar, scratched a match and
lighted it. Then l threw myself into
the arms of an easy chair and the arms
of delight at the same time.
II finished the cigar at 11:20 and hur-
ried away, reaching the house in TWEEN
ty minutes. My father-in-law to be
called me into his study to explain
some points to be attended to In the
settlements.
"'The amount he said, that l give
my daughter is four hundred thou
sand He stopped short and shifted
the air. Who's beer smoking in this
roomT'
II was terror stricken, but, control
ling myself, l looked sympathetic. He
went about poking his nose here and
there till, coming very near me, he
took up my arm and smelled of my
sleeve.
"'What's this?' he exclaimed. 4
thought you told me you didn't
smoke
81 tried to stammer an explanation,
but broke down.
"'Give my daughter to a mar who
has the vilest habit known to man-not
good enough for beasts, not one OF
whom smokes! Not L.
II argued that the preparations had
gone too far to retreat.
att is never too late to retreat from
a bad bargain. The marriage shall
not take place, or, if it does, my daugh-
ter shall go to you penniless.'
"As soon as my fancee and her moth
err received the startling news they be-
gan a desperate effort with the irate
man to induce him to give way. For
their sakes he finally agreed to do so