The Savannah morning news., 1904-11-27
THE EFFECT OF
ABSENCE ON LOVE.

In these parlous matrimonial times,
when it is equally difficult to catch
husband and TO keep him after you
get him. no question is of more real
heart interest to woman than the
effect that absence has upon love. Is
a woman most sure of being in mans
thoughts when she is so directly under
his eyes that it is a physically impos-
sible feat TO forget her, or does he
think most tenderly of her when she
is far away. and her very remoteness
makes a TRANSPORTING haze that con-
ceals all her faults. and magniies her
charms? In other words, should the
woman who desires to retain the affec-
tions of man give him her society In
allophatic or homeopathic doseSE
This is a problem concerning which
there is a great diversity of opinion in
feminine circles both as regards be-
fore and after marriage some contend
tng that man is but a creature OF hablt,
impertectly domesticated at best, ana
that it is never safe to let him quit
eating out of your hand, while others
hold that more love is bored to death
than is killed in any other way. ana
both of these opposite theories have
right on their side to a certain degree.
There is no doubt that proximity is
a great matchmaker. The real an
swer to why ninety-nine people out or
a hundred married the particular IN
dividual that they did is because
chance threw them together and near
ness did the rest They had no real
attraction for each other There was
no special congeniality between them,
but just because he happened to be the
man in evidence. and she the woman,
and nobody stepped in to prevent
them, they fancied themselves in love,
and so they were married.
There are certain psychological mo-
ments in all of our lives when we can
honestly think ourselves in love with
anybody. The genial glow engendered
by a good dinner has led many man
TO propose mltrimony to woman ne
never thought of an hour before.
sudden wave of pity. of sympathy, OF
tenderness, or of loneliness, has made
a woman say Eyes" at last to the suit
or she has refused a dozen times. 1t
is a plain case of the time arriving
when you must love someone, and to
the person nearest is handed out the
prize package of sentiment.
All of this makes an enormously
strong argument in favor of woman
staying at home and looking after her
fences, and this is especially impor-
tant before marriage. Indeed, wom-
an who removes herself to distance
during the days of courtship may al
most be said to have thrown down her
best weapon She is firing at long
successful feminine conquerors all
know that a man will present arms
to the woman who follows the reVolu-
tionary warriors advice and waits un-
til she is close enough to see the
whites of his eyes and then-shoots.
Nothing appeals to a man like the
sight of a woman in love with him. and
to remove this spectacle from his range
of vision is to clip Cupid's wings. 1t
is the spectacle of her flattering pref
erence for him that first attracts
many a. mans notice to some particular
woman. 1t is the knowledge of how
pleased she will be that tempts many
a man into making love to a woman
when he really doesn't mean it, and it
Is because he simply hasn't the nerve
TO break an engagement and hurt the
woman who adores him that sends
many a secretly unwilling bridegroom
to the altar. OF course, the value of
devotion is Just as great, intrinsically.
far as near, but it's effects upon a man
is not so great. 1t is the difference be-
tween kissing a photograph and the
Billcil-'lne QlIlGTellCG between Saying
things in a letter and by word of
mouth, and so absence is no friend to
the woman who is trying to win a
mans love. She needs to be Sally-on-
the-spot.
In a way love affair is like a bust
ness deal-you have to keep the inter
est worked up in it if you pull it off
successfully. This is why the best
method yet devised by diplomacy for
breaking off unsuitable matches is to
separate the couple and fill their lives
with new interests. 1t is true that this
plan does not always work. for there
are a few faithful souls. the ardor of
whose affections neither time nor dis
tance can cool. but in the majority
of cases absence gently. and painless
ly, but effectually, drugs love to DEATH
Unless we happen to live in the same
community few of us marry our first
love. The young man who bids his
weeping sweetheart goodbye as he
starts out into the world to seek his
fortune, swears to her that when he
becomes rich and famous that he will
return to claim her for his own. He
does, indeed, return in after years, but
not to lead his faithful love to the al
tar, for she has been happily married
TO the grocer this many a year. and
ne has an interesting family of his
own, so effective has absence been.
II propinquity is so valuable in
courtship it would seem that it ought
to be equally valuable in matrimony.